#<— his job in Phils hardcore world lets go

[factorialsotherfandoms]

"Philza, can we be serious for a second?" Fit asks, one day.

"I'm listening." Philza turns, his attention granted once more

"If we ever get off this island, what are we going to do?" The question has been haunting Fit for some time; it is only right he asks one of his closest friends.

"… Go back to where we came from, I suppose." Philza, to his credit, seems melancholnic with the answer.

"But the kids, Phil," Fit's voice tenses on the words. "I can't take Ramon with me - you've seen where I live. I can't take a child there, never again."

"You've changed, mate."

"Philza."

It's not wrong, but its not what Fit wants to talk about. Not in the slightest, or at all - Philza has changed too, after all. For the more vulnerable, in both their cases.

There is silence a moment, before Philza sighs. "I get you," another pause. "I love my hardcore worlds, but… one life and you're dead. It's the thrill of it, it's the beauty of it, I'm sure I could make somewhere safe enough for my eggs, but… they shouldn't have to live in fear of death. Not ever, not any more, never again. Hell, not even Wil lives with me there, and he's an adult. Beautiful as it is its a solo world for a reason, you know?"

"Then you get me."

"Yeah, I get you."

Probably better than anyone else in the worlds.

There's silence again for a few moments, broken only by the sounds of using Phil and Missa's warp as a shortcut to spawn. Fit is quite content to let it sit, to simply know that the problem is shared, that he's not the only person both deseperate to escape and terrified of what that means.

The interruption, however, drives Philza to speak again. "Fit, what do you want to say?"

Does he want to say something else? Fit doesn't know, but assumes Philza must have some idea. "… I'm not sure," he says. "But I think some of the others don't have suitable homes either."

"Do any of them?" Philza replies. "I'm not even sure Wil /has/ a home at this point."

"Right. And the Brazilians. I don't know exactly, but Phil-" Fit pauses, unsure if he should finish that sentence, before deciding to hell with it, Philza will recognise it anyway. "Pac and Mike were using the boat to put distance between them and the law after their past caught up. Dunno about the others, but can't imagine its great if they shared a boat together."

Philza whistles, clearly not surprised. If anything, slightly impressed - FIt could always trust him with that. "Guess its a habit of theirs."

"I'm serious, Philza." Fit reminds him.

"No same," Philza gestures a bit. "I don't know them like you do, but Pac and Mike... They deserve a chance, let alone Richarlyson."

So do all the children, Fit doesn't say. He's done crimes enough against children before.

Philza waits, and when Fit doesn't continue, does so himself, "I don't know much about the French before they came here, or Foolish, but Bad was already working multiple part time jobs, and if he had a home it wasn't best suited to a kid."

"Vegetta? Missa?" Fit asks. "Does Quackity have somewhere to go maybe?"

"Dunno about most. Missa's a bit like Wil, though," Philza smiles softly at the thought, before it turns a little sadder. "Never stays anywhere very long, and with the skeleton thing and his reaction to this shack… pretty sure it's not by /choice/ he's doing the travelling musician act. Wil at least has somewhere to return to, Missa nearly burst into tears at four walls made of fences and a cheap roof."

"Well shit."

"Definitely can't take Missa to hardcore, either," Philza continues the thought. "I could make an area safe for Tallulah. Missa? He'd die as soon as I looked away from him and I /can't/ loose him. Not now."

"Travelling musicians, ex-cons, men who live alone without any contact, old hands in an eternal wasteland... The Feds clearly picked people who wouldn't be missed," Fit frowns a little, struggling to think of anyone who bucks that trend.

Philza doesn't reply to that. Fit doesn't think it too odd but, after he doesn't respond for a while, he looks over. There's a clear look on Philza's face, one that has ended empires and built others anew.

"Philza?"

"I do have… a bit of a plan. Not a lot of one. But I've been thinking."

"Thinking, eh? Using that beautiful brain of yours?" Fit doesn't know if he should be terrified or excited, and so falls back on the oldest trick in the book - flirting.

"Oh shut up big boy," Philza waves one dismissive hand. "But, yeah. I'm pretty sure, if we could get out of here, I could manage to find some place uninhabited. A new island or world. Whitelist it just to us islanders and the eggs, maybe people's partners from elsewhere. Infinite lives, an empty but open world… Somewhere just for us. All of us."

"It'd be a lot of work, starting again from nothing. Can you even support this many people? I know there's your worlds, but it'd be a lot..." Fit wants to be excited, wants to see some hope in this tunnel - somewhere safe for him and his kid, somewhere to retire to. Maybe make trips back to the wasteland, but no longer live there. Never live there again.

"I can't talk to her here, not easily, but I bet Kristin would be willing to support it. I've heard a few other people have ties to gods, too, which would help. Not sure which, but once we /have/ a plan asking is easier." Philza muses a bit as he talks. "We discussed it once, before, for another group. Smaller than this, but with help... I reckon it'd work. Even if not, I could hold it together long enough for someone to make a better plan."

"Sounds nice. Too nice," is all Fit can really say.

"I've never wanted it before," Philza sighs with the words. "I was happy just with my solo worlds, but… I don't think i could loose this - everyone - now I've had them."

"Just like I cant leave Ramon."

"Exactly. We've got families now."

"Look at us, getting old and sentimental."

"Oh piss off mate you started it."

"I know, I know." Fit laughs, because what can he do but laugh in the end.

Philza has a plan, and Fit is included in it. It will work, or it will fail, and there's nothing they can do about it.

It's a pipe dream, anyway; they'd have to get off the island first, and Fit's pretty sure that won't be possible in his lifetime. The best he can do is enjoy what he has for the time it lasts, and leave worrying to people better suited to it.

If only the Federations would let them have their fun.

[masterjedilenawrites]

My guy, can I just say that I LOVE your writing? Its absolutely amazing and wholesome! speaking of wholesome, could I maybe request the clones with an s/o who wants a child? Or maybe the clones as fathers?

Wow thank you, I'm flailing on the floor from these compliments! Glad to provide some wholesome content for the fandom in these trying times... #bringcrosshairhome

I just did a Clones with pregnant S/O request, so here's Clones as fathers...

Cody is a dutiful father. He takes the job seriously right from the start, seamlessly readjusting his life to include his child as if they'd always been there. He'll take any opportunity to teach his child all the important things, from hands-on tasks like fixing a speeder or shooting a blaster, to more abstract concepts like being polite to strangers and apologizing when in the wrong. When he has to choose work over home, he makes up for it with extra attention when he returns.

Rex is a super-dad. His kids look up to him their entire lives, believing he really is a superhero. Think Jack Pearson from This is Us. He'll dress up for tea parties, and listen to the same stories over and over, and chauffeur them and their friends around town, and help with homework, and lend them money for when they go on their first date.... He's tired all the time, but he never lets it show. He and his S/O are partners in this endeavor; their teamwork is admirable and enviable.

Wolffe is a private dad. He keeps his family life separate, that way he can be the tough leader he needs to be in battle, and then let all of that go when he returns home. He's a secret softie and only his S/O and child ever see that side of him. They have him wrapped around their finger; he knows this, and loves it. There isn't a single thing he wouldn't do for either of them. They are his world. He gets sentimental about a lot of things and doesn't like how fast his baby grows up.

Fox is a doting father. He'd spoil the shit out of his kids. Sneaking candy when their mom says no, buying the toy they secretly eyed in the store, letting them stay up late and watch him clean his armor. He gets in trouble with his S/O a lot, but he can't help it. He wants to give his kids the entire galaxy. He can discipline them when necessary, and because he only does so sparingly, his kids take it seriously and never act that way again. He thinks they are just perfect.

Fives is a proud dad. Everything his children do is amazing. He keeps every last drawing or craft they make for him. He recounts every milestone of their lives to his brothers. He cries over them a lot. He is just in awe of how they grow up, all their strength and potential and innocence, he just eats it up. He definitely wears T-Shirts that have puns of the word dad in it, so anyone who sees him knows who he is. It's the most important part of his life, far more than being a soldier.

Echo is a nurturing father. He is very concerned with the health and happiness of his child. He's more nervous when they're young, wondering if they're behind in their development or whether their runny nose is a sign of something more serious. He's more comfortable when they get older, letting them do more on their own. He's big on communication and uses little codewords. Like, Cover-fire means he needs them to just do as they're told. DMZ means they're free to speak their mind, no judgement. Retreat means they need to rethink their bad attitude and apologize.

Jesse is a hip dad. He doesn't try to be, he just is. He never really let go of that part of himself after becoming a father, listening to certain kinds of music or having a fun night out. He doesn't set a lot of rules; in fact, he openly allows certain things that other parents might balk at. He figures it's better for them to experience these things in the safety of their home, rather than doing it behind his back and getting hurt. His kids like their cool dad, they're never embarrassed.

Kix is an affectionate father. His favorite thing in the whole galaxy is coming home to his children tackling him with hugs and kisses. He might coddle in the early years, letting them sleep in his bed or carrying them around everywhere. But as they grow, he's more encouraging of their independence, so long as they still let him hug them whenever he wants. He's also obsessed with health; totally the dad who never lets them eat any sugar or watch TV if the sun's still shining.

Tup is a timid dad. He second-guesses himself a lot, wondering if he made the right decisions or said the right things to his child. He does his best to learn and catch on to the best way to go about things, but it seems as soon as he's finally comfortable, his child has grown up or moved on to the next phase and he has to start over. He is best during the quiet moments of his child's life: reading stories before bed, giggling during bathtime, comforting a broken heart...

Dogma is a responsible father. He prioritizes rules over all else, but puts a lot of thought and care into crafting them. And he's created a lot of rules for himself, too. Things like always wishing them good-night, even when he's away on missions. Or never expressing his frustration in front of them. He creates plenty of opportunities for them to earn privileges or other rewards. He disciplines firmly but fairly. He splits the child-rearing duties with his S/O evenly, as well.

Hardcase is a dorky dad. He's not as hardcore at home as he is on the battlefield, but he still has a lot of energy and releases it through corny jokes, silly antics, and other displays of tomfoolery. Think Phil Dunphy from Modern Family. He wants to be his children's best friend. He tries to keep up with all the trends and slang, which just makes his kids cringe in embarrassment. He's not the best with discipline, but he does get more serious if one of them is hurt or struggling.

Hunter is an interactive father. He will never be considered distant, oh no. He engages with his kid on every level, being a constant and dependable presence in their life. He talks to them as a baby even when they don't understand. He lets them tag along as a toddler, indulging in their curiosity. He checks in with them when they're older, having honest conversations about whatever is on their mind.

Wrecker is a playful dad. Life is an adventure and he's excited to take his children along on the ride. He'd have a lot of kids, filling his home with sounds of laughter and fighting and joy and tears. He'd encourage them to develop a hobby and would attend every competition, performance, etc. without fail. Even with so many to keep track of, he manages to make each one feel special, they all have an important place in the family and never get left out, not on his watch.

Crosshair is a protective father. He knows he's not the best with emotions, so he makes up for it by always having his child's back. Looking out for them. Keeping them safe. He'd teach them how to fight from an early age, going to shooting ranges or on hunts. It'll be their "thing," a way for them to quietly connect through the years. And heaven help the poor soul who ever hurts his little one. He will not hold back in defending their honor and squeezing out an apology.

Tech is a chill dad. He isn't bothered by much, so he keeps his cool through even the roughest stages of his child's development. This ends up creating a sense of stability for his family, they can always count on Dad to keep things steady and real. He won't pry into his child's life; if they want help, they'll need to come to him. But once they do, he is passionate about teaching them everything he knows. He will support them in all of their studies, hobbies, and interests.

[redorich]

-slips into your inbox-

Hullo red, 'tis me, Fidget. Here to haunt your inbox because you have gravely wounded me with so many things today.

First of all, sad Phil. God, he guts me. 'Impulse has a family, he does not need Philza.' has ripped out my heart. Please, this man has been trough so much. Willbur died by his own hands, Tommy he almost killed because he believed dream, and apparently not even Techno trusts him. After all, he did keep Tommy's location a secret from even him for a long time. (That Techno is loyal to a fault does not matter in this horrible interpretation of things.)

And then.

And THEN you hit me with the replaced family bit? Bdkandjakyba. My heart is weak and fragile, please Red.. Please I just... Want this family to heal a little. Someone please teach Phil that he can not shoulder the burden of the world by himself, that he was just one man in a war torn world who did the best he could. And his best wasn't good enough, but that doesn't mean he wasn't trying, that he is a bad person for it.

Like, Tommy had a whole, peaceful Server of well adjusted adults looking out for him and Phil had his bootstraps and the voices of the blood god first in his own and then in Techno's head.

It must've been hard to keep sane (I don't think he quite managed either.)

And maybe Phil doesn't go to see impulse to help him. Because he can see that the hermits are doing a much better job than he ever could, can see that Impulse is getting better not worse like Phil did all that time ago.

But Impulse now helped to save two of his sons. Perhaps Phil ought to make the journey and thank him, shoulders heavy with broken wings and broken hopes. He couldn't give his family what they needed, but impulse could. The hermits could.

It would be rude to leave this deed unacknowledged. (Perhaps Impulse or another hermit who's around sees the Trauma that seems to cling to this family like tar and thinks: Oh, it's free real estate(for adoption). You did mention Xisuma likes to adopt sad people.)

Cleo keeps nudging Philza to talk to Impulse. Philza's friendship with Cleo is new, so he can't yet tell whether it's an "as an immortal I'm telling you not to make a mistake" thing or an "I'm a nosy little weasel" thing. Not that Philza would ever call Cleo a nosy little weasel to her face, even if she'd probably take it as a compliment.

So, he goes and says hello to Impulse in his giant quartz base, even though he doesn't want to. Impulse, for his part, looks a bit taken aback, but takes the visit in stride.

“Y’know, call me crazy, but I got the impression that you don’t like me much,” Impulse laughs awkwardly.

Philza tilts his head, recalling his interactions with Impulse-- or rather, lack thereof. “Oh, ‘cause I was avoiding you?”

Impulse starts, caught off guard by the blatant admission. “Uh, yeah, I guess. Did I do something? I’m sorry if I did.”

Waving off the concern, Philza speaks freely. “Nah mate, you’re fine. I’ve got no quarrel with you. Anyway, I was just stopping by to say thank you. For-- for taking care of Tommy, and Techno too.” Philza smiles wryly. “’S more than I ever did for them, I guess.”

“You did plenty,” Impulse protests with a furrowed brow. “Techno talks about you all the time.”

The immortal blond blinks, as if he didn’t expect to hear that. “Eh,” he says in lieu of addressing it. Instead, he changes the topic completely.

“I’m trying out this whole ‘Hermit Therapy’ thing,” he says with a shrug, “so I guess that means I’m supposed to talk about my feelings or something? And I’m a grown-ass man, so that feels more than a bit condescending, but I suppose I’ll tell you my opinion so I can at least say I tried.”

Impulse winces at the harsh, uncaring way Philza addresses the situation. Should Impulse be offering Philza a place to sit? For all the redstone farms in the base, there isn’t a chair to be found. Philza doesn’t seem to care.

“I tried raising my kids. Failed.” Philza runs a hand through the long feathers on one of his wings. “You came in and taught Tommy more about being a person than I ever did. That’s fine, he deserves it. I can’t hold it against you.”

“I--” Impulse tries to interject, but Philza talks over him.

“You helped Techno-- I never did figure out how to do that. Again, he needed that, and I’d be a petty fool to get upset just because the person who gave him what he needed wasn’t me.” Philza’s mouth flattens into a grim line.

“But then,” he says, “you went above and beyond. You saw Kharneth hurting Techno-- my boy. And you gave him hope that Kharneth could be killed. Do you know how long I spent, trying to help him come to terms with the fact that Kharneth isn’t someone-- something that can or should be killed?”

Impulse leans back, shoving his hands in his pockets. He knows that Philza tried killing Kharneth, the Blood God, and paid a price, but...

Philza runs a jittery hand through his hair. “And then you did it! You killed the Blood God. And I thought, oh, this poor man doesn’t know what he’s done. Surely the Blood God’s powers will break this man’s mind-- after all, if I couldn’t handle it, how could this soft human hope to?”

Wincing again, Impulse stays quiet. Obviously Philza needs to say his piece.

“Then you did,” the immortal says. “Why is it that everything I’ve ever done, everything I’ve ever tried to do, you’re better at it than me? You’ve got my sons wrapped around your finger, you’ve got better control of those powers than I ever did, you’re goddamn happy,” the man spits.

“...I’m sorry you feel that way,” Impulse says in mild shock, groping for the right words.

“And the worst part!” Philza steamrolls over Impulse’s apology, “Is that I don’t even hate you!”

Impulse blinks. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You’re just...” Philza sighs, holding a wing in front of him like a shield. “You’re everything I wish I was, and I’m jealous and I’m mature enough to recognize that, but... is it weird of me to want to be friends with you too?”

Licking his lips, Impulse chooses his words carefully. “I’d love to be friends with you. For what it’s worth... You’ve got your own strengths, it’s just... harder for you to see them? Because you’re looking at everyone else’s strengths, comparing yourself to them, and evidently, uh. Finding yourself falling short.” He chuckles awkwardly. “I’d never last a month in a hardcore world.”

Philza looks away. “Hardcore, the one thing I’m known for. Easy enough for you to say.” He frowns, not because he’s upset with Impulse, but because he realizes he’s being a cantankerous bastard.

“I’m afraid I don’t know you too well,” Impulse says diplomatically. “Maybe... Yeah, let’s be friends.” He claps his hands together with the air of a man making a plan. “I’ll get to know you better, and then I can tell you what you’re good at, until you can learn to see it for yourself.”

The immortal swipes at Impulse’s head with a wing, but pulls the swing so that he only barely brushes the man with feather-tips. “Good lad,” he says gruffly, but he can’t quite hide his smile.

[alouispo]

part two :D

“Is that a flying island?” Techno questions aloud, slowing down to a walking pace as he made his way towards the earth in the sky.

“I think it’s pretty obvious that it is Tech,” Phil deadpanned, straightening his hat and following his friend over the hill. 

They both pushed through the leaves and trees, soon enough ending in a much less dense part of a flower forest. Blue eyes scanned the area, shocked at how nice this place looked. Phil remembered seeing something that looked like a flower forest back towards the main area of the SMP, but it didn’t appear as vibrant as it was here. Bits and pieces of that forest were destroyed or wilted away, some parts of it not even having flowers anymore due to them being picked or trampled on. 

Was the SMP so much nicer when you got out this far? 

“Well, Phil, I think anyone would be skeptical of there being a random piece of land in the sky without any warning,” the piglin retorted, pausing to let Phil catch up, who was currently too encaptivated by the landscape to actually pay attention to where he was going. 

Rolling his eyes, Techno grabbed his friend’s sleeve and marched towards the spawn coordinates on his compass, ignoring the protests the older male made at being dragged along. 

Soon enough, the two of them reached the top of the hill. IF Phil was being completely honest, it was not what he was expecting at all. He looked around with shock; there was a bunch of people living here! There were so many different buildings -that were all finished, he noted- and there was a huge lake right in the center of all of them. 

“Hey Tech, can we go down there?” Phil questioned, trying his best not to freak out. This place looked nearly a million times better than the Dream SMP, and it only fueled his excitement. It reminded him of his hardcore world, which was only more welcoming to the bird hybrid. 

“We have to anyways, it seems like spawn coords are right near the center of the lake,” watching as Phil immediately jumped down, chuckling to himself before following right after. 

“Techno this place is great! Look at all the flowers!” the hybrid exclaimed, kneeling down to touch the wildlife that appeared so unnaturally for him. “Have you ever seen flowers like this grow near the SMP? They look like they are practically glowing!” 

“Nope. We also live in the arctic so it wouldn’t make any sense for them to grow there,” Techno replied nonchalantly, stepping over the flowers in order to not step on them. “Now stop gushing over plants Phil, we have to find who runs this place so we can see what’s going on.”

“Oh you’re one to talk Tech-” he was cut off by the sound of wings beating loudly above them, making them both pull out their weapons and look around. 

“Hello!” the pair turned towards the lake, watching as a blur of feathers floated outwards and a man stood before the flowers. 

“Heh?” Techno questioned, staring at the newcomer as Phil dropped his sword. 

“Welcome to the Origins SMP! I am the Crow Father, protector of these lands, and ambassador of The Circle. What are your-” the Crow Father paused, staring right back at Phil as their eyes met. 

The newcomer looked exactly like Phil. Same eyes, same hair, same hat. The only difference was that this man had not been fated to war, one who still had his wings intact. They appeared much brighter in color compared to Phil’s, who had resembled the color of oil but still had all the colors in at the same time. He also adorned a white gown under a familiar-looking robe.

“Phil?” the man in question stared a while longer, grabbing the sword and putting it into his inventory as he stood back near Techno. 

“Are you alright Phil?” the anarchist tried again, placing his hand on his shoulder. 

He nodded,” I’m alright, don’t worry about it.” 

“Well then,” the Crow Father said, brushing himself off as he smiled warily. “I don’t think you are supposed to be here? Am I right?” he asked, a crow of similar color as his wings landed on his hat, tilting its head to the side in at the pair. 

“No, if that wasn’t obvious enough by there being two of you,” Techno remarked, putting a hand on his hip in slight annoyance. 

“Uh, right. So, uh, mind telling me how you got here, mate?” the Croaw father questioned, putting his hands behind his back politely. 

Phil frowned, examining the other. Did he really look like that? It seemed odd to see another version of himself standing right in front of him, behaving almost exactly as he would. He made eye contact with the Crow Father, as he called himself, realizing that he was doing the same thing. 

“Well, we got transported here by the God of our SMP cause we broke one of the rules, and now we are here and have to try and get back before we die or something,” the piglin hybrid stated as if it was just another day of the week. He paused. Actually, it was another day of the week, what was he talking about.

“Oh, well that’s fine mate!” and he smiled, which made him feel strange. Phil hadn’t remembered how to smile like that for such a long time, it looked off on his own face. Which technically, wasn’t even his face at all. 

“I’ll help you in the best way that I can since after all, it is my job.”

“You sure about that? You don’t seem like the type that would be able to help us with what we need,” Phil turned and punched Techno straight in the arm, glaring at the much taller male in playful annoyance. 

“I was just being honest!” the piglin retorted, appearing unfazed by the action. 

“Honesty is what is going to make me kill you one day, you whiny bastard. You’re worse than my Cshat,” he replied, narrowing his eyes and turning back to Crow Father, who was watching with great interest. 

“Well, it still is my job of course, so I can at least try to help you. That’s what the boss appointed me to at least,” the other Phil said, looking up thoughtfully as he tapped his cheek. 

“The boss?” Phil questioned, catching both of their attention. 

“Oh yeah, the boss of this place,” the Crow Father said, sweatdropping as the bird on top of his hat started beating his wings aggressively. 

“Do you think we could speak to him?” Techno asked, looking at Phil and then back at the protector, who appeared to be forcing a smile on his face as the bird pecked at his hat.

The Crow Father paused, jumping slightly when the crow started squawking incoherent words very loudly before flying away. “You little shit!” he shouted at the runaway bird, plucking the stray feathers out of his hair and dropping them to the ground. 

“Sorry about that,” he started, brushing off his gown. “The natural wildlife don’t really like the admin. Not exactly sure why but hey, really nothing we can do about that,” he shrugged. 

“Yeah, uh anyways, can you take us to the admin of this place?” Phil questioned, tapping his foot albeit so impatiently. He didn’t really like the Crow Father, as much as it was another version of himself. 

He was not jealous of his wings, that was not it. Shut. 

“Are you really sure about that?” The Crow Father asks adamantly, looking to his right and back at the pair anxiously. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” Techno asked, adjusting the chains keeping his cape on his shoulders. “It’s the best choice we have anyways unless you know a way to go back to a server where you most likely wouldn’t exist?” he added, crossing his arms and glaring. 

“No, no, you’re right,” the other Phil said, resigned. “Come now, follow me, I’ll take you to the pube.” 

“The what?” 

It was not in fact, a pube, it was a pub. Very interesting pronunciation there. 

After climbing up the unnecessarily tall ladder, Phil noticed that on top of the flying island was what the Crow Father had described as the pube. He had said that he was the one that built the place, although he didn’t necessarily own it. Another thing that the Angel thought was strange. 

“Here is the pube, place where the admin resides,” the Crow Father said as he walked inside rather loudly, startling what looked like a full enderman. Phil and Tecno followed behind, eyeing the newcomer warily. 

“Ranboo!” the other Phil called, making the pair look between the two in shock. This was Ranboo? 

“Oh, hey Crow Father! What brings you here…” he trailed off, noticing that there were double of Phil and a really different-looking Technoblade both behind the hero. “Uhh..” 

“These two are from a different server, which is why there are two of me and Techno looks really different,” the Crow Father explained nonchalantly. 

“Oh, that makes sense. Anyways, what brings them here to the pube?” the other Ranboo said, standing up making Phil do a double-take. This version of Ranboo was even taller than their Ranboo, although it may be because this one didn’t have a massive slouch. 

  “They’re here to talk to admin to try and get back to their own server,” he replied, scratching his chin nervously. 

“Oh.” 

The four of them stood in silence as Ranboo looked up towards the ceiling, scratching the top of his head and contemplating something. 

“The boss isn’t busy is he?” the Crow Father asked, his wings twitching subtly. 

“I don’t think he is. Nothing has really been happening with the locals so he’s most likely doing some paperwork,” Ranboo replied cheerily. “I’ll take you guys to him!” he added, going up towards the ladder to the second. 

“Only the regulars are here today, so there won’t be too much problem with you guys talking to the boss today,” he added once they had gotten to the top. 

“Thanks, Ranboo!” the Crow Father said, going to knock on the door. 

“Wait a minute,” Techno said, staring at the sign on top of the door in horror. 

“No way,” Phil added, taking a step back as he paled. 

The sign on the top of the door read the words ‘Innit Incorporated’, carved hastily into the wood in messy handwriting. Techno and Phil looked at each other, dread pooling in the bottom of their stomachs as realization dawned upon them. 

“Sorry bout that, sometimes he’s talking with people so he doesn’t hear much,” the Crow Father said apologetically. 

“Coming, I’m coming!” a very recognizable voice shouted from the inside of the room, making Techno groan as his fears came true. 

In a burst of his above-average glory, a very similar-looking but not quite Tommy opened the door, looking irritated as he overlooked the people in the room. He had a bunch of feathers neatly placed in his hair and much brighter eyes than the Tommy they knew. 

“What?” he asked, annoyance obvious in his tone of voice. 

[rainbowtransform]

Neither Of Us Will Be Missed

OKAY! Chpater Two is here, up and running! Thank you for reading, thanks for listening, thanks for reblogging and liking! :D

He climbs the trees and the leaves rustle as he settles. The trees are one of the most important parts of hiding from Hunters, and even though Dream’s Hunters usually know his tricks and could try to cut him off, these one don’t seem to. Cat jumps onto the tree and slips off, falling on his feet.

Shame, come Dream’s thought, unbidden. If Cat broke his leg, then he’d be out of the running for the Jump at least. They’d have to leave him behind. Then again, Flame came after Dream with a broken wrist a couple Jumps ago. There’s no way to judge when they’d leave behind a teammate, or when a teammate will let themselves be left behind. 

But if Dream keeps jumping in the trees and if he shakes enough leaves, they’ll think that he can’t be silent in the trees.

(Hide, right now. Dream, hide, hide, hide)

He manages to look through his inventory again, and he rips another loaf of bread and chucks it overhead. The Hunters’ eyes snap toward where the bread dropped and Dream holds his breath. They end up going that way, and Dream sneaks toward the right. 

The first time they’d Jumped was when Dream was killed the First Time. He’d been sent right into a grassy plain, empty except for a sleeping Hunter next to him. Dream had nothing with him, no food, no supplies, nothing. The Hunter looked the same way, but Dream didn’t stick around long enough to exanime it.

Dream had set off running. A sleeping Hunter wouldn’t be sleeping for long, and even though it took the Hunter a long time (maybe three months? Maybe two? Dream couldn’t remember) to Hunt and Kill him, Dream won’t let it happen a second time.

(He survives this one for almost a year. He sees how desperate the Hunter gets and how reckless he gets as well. Dream watches as the Hunter steps into lava for the upteempth time, trying to get to him, seething silently.

Dream called him ‘Flame’ afterward.)

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He ends up by a river and he looks through his inventory again, searching for a water bottle or something to fill up. There’s nothing and Dream clicks his tongue. That’s not good. But it isn’t the first time he hasn’t had anything.

Why do you have Netherite? Only Hunters get it.

Dream shrugs it off. Hunters are usually the only ones who get Netherite, but then again, ever since they’ve entered the Jump, they’ve always been set back to the beginning. Dream swims across the river, all the while wondering why the Jump suddenly wants them all to have Netherite.

It’s weird, Dream decides. But the Jumps are all weird and Dream’s nothing if he doesn’t take it in stride. When Dream makes it to the other side, he climbs out, shivering. The air’s cool, and Dream takes a deep breath, feeling the cold air. Winter, Dream thinks.

It’s almost winter. 

The Jumps always start in Spring.

The Jumps… always start in spring.

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“Is he really not ours?”

“Yes! See the mask? Ours is more chipped, plus there’s no scar on his hand. See?” And here his hand’s yanked forward, and flipped this way and that, and he’s annoyed.

“Can he break it?”

“Break what?”

“The curse? The Reset?” 

“What the fuck is that?”

“Every time Mask kills a dragon, it resets him. Or every time we kill him.”

“Yeah, sure,” he says. “So what or why are you looking for this ‘mask’?”

“He helped a traitor escape.” Bad says. “Emperor Schlatt deemed him an accomplice and sent us to get him.”

“But if we knew what he was, we wouldn’t have even taken the job.” George claims, setting down a piece of bread into Dream-who-isn’t-Dream’s hands. 

“What is he?” He asks, tearing the bread into little pieces and eating it like that. 

“He’s a Marked.”

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Dream falters when he comes to a huge hole in the ground and things are built on stilts. There’s a bunch of houses, but Dream sees balconies and second stories. 

If he gets caught, he can jump from one place to the other; and the roof’s always a good option as well. He’s debating it when someone’s hand sits itself on his shoulder.

He grabs the hand and throws the person over his shoulder and slams him into the ground. A man with green and white hat and green clothing stares up at him.

“Hey,” Philza Minecraft, the World’s first Hardcore-born child says. “Whatcha doing here, mate?”

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Dream read and heard all about Philza back when he was younger. His mother would sit him down and read him stories about how Philza used to build big things in his world, and how he’d fought two dragons! 

She even told him about how all Hardcore-born children were sent to live in a normal world until they were old enough to realize that once you die in Hardcore, you’re dead. (By that point, many of the children never wanted to return to their Home Worlds), and Hardcore Worlds began to die out.

Philza Minecraft was born and hidden from people who searched for children to send away. How his parents didn’t want their child to be sent away from them, and how so they hide him deep underground. (The older generation had wings that they, apparently, grew themselves. Philza’s parents figured out how)

Hardcore is a hard place to raise children, but it’s even harder to raise a child privately. But at the same time, Hardcore is where wings are grown and minds are sharpened. Philza’s mind was as sharp as can be when his wings were just starting to form on his back. 

“He loved to fly, just like someone else I know,” Dream’s mother would tell him, holding Dream close to her chest as she rocked him. “And he wouldn’t stop flying, not even when his parents begged and pleaded.”

“What happened to him?” Dream asked fuzzily.

His mother hummed. “He didn’t die,” she said. “But some say his wings got clipped and he no longer could fly. Instead, he decided to settle down and adopt three children. Technoblade,”

“A rival,” Dream sleepy calls him, and Puffy laughs so hard, he almost gets up. 

“Technoblade, a rival and so called ‘Blood God,’” she agreed. “Wilbur Soot, self-proclaimed musician and lyric lover. And TommyInnIt, a child who had seen too much in the tiniest amount of time.”

Dream laughs a bit. “He’s a kid?”

“A teenager by now,” Puffy tells him. “You really like listening to these myths huh?”

“They aren’t myths,” Dream says. “They’re real, aren’t they?”

Puffy chuckles. “Of course, duckling,” she said. “As long as you believe in them, then I’m sure they’re just as real as I am to you. Right?”

“It’s a belief thing, right Mom?” Dream asks. Puffy ruffles his hair and begins rocking him and humming a song he hasn’t heard in a long time. Dream falls asleep to his mother’s humming and thinking about a family of four.

(And somewhere else, a hand grabs a teenager’s and helps him climb out of a ditch. A man with wings big enough to keep four boys underneath them blinks. “I’ll see if I can scout out a place,” he says.

“I’ll come with,” a piglin hybrid tells him. 

“Okay, son. Tommy, Wilbur. You two stay here, and make sure we’ve got something to eat when we get back, okay?”

“Got it, Dad.” Tommy says before grabbing Wilbur’s arm and beginning to tug it.)

--------------------------------------------------------

“Is it true?” Dream blurts out, and Philza looks back at him when they’re safely in his home.

“Is what true?” Philza asked, hands on his hips.

“That you were the first Hardcore child in millions of years,” Dream gestures wildly to the wings tucked tight against Philza’s spine.

“Uh, no?” Philza said. “Who told you that?”

“My… my mom,” Dream mumbled and Philza laughs. 

“Moms say a lot of things,” he says before checking out the window again. “Techno told me you might be coming.”

And Dream stops breathing.

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“Marked are people with magical ability,” Sapnap says, roasting a rabbit over the fire he’d made. “They can do basically anything if they really set their minds to it. Philza Minecraft’s a Marked ‘cause he can fly, you know? Technoblade is because he can Shapeshift; so’s TommyInnIt who can make anyone attached to him like a sort of family thing? And Wilbur Soot can use his Words to destroy someone from the inside out.”

“Dream’s pretty powerful,” Ant says, pinning up some laundry to dry. “He created the End Realm, you know? It wasn’t anything until he’d somehow did something and made it occupied with dragons, eggs, and those Endermen things. We think he started the Jumps too.”

“If we kill him permanently,” Bad says. “Then the Jump will stop, and we’ll all start going back to normal.”

“How long have you been trapped here?”

Bad takes a deep breath, and so does George. Ant and Sapnap don’t even glance up before George says, in a low, low voice “We’ve been doing this for twenty years.”

--------------------------------------------------------

“Breathe,” Philza says, slapping him on the back. “I won’t turn you in. You’re acting weird, but that’s just normal.”

“I don’t think I belong here,” Dream blurts out. Philza stops and turns to look at him. 

“What do you mean?” He asks.

And Dream spills everything. This is Philza Minecraft. He’d know what to do, if anything. (He even talks about how the Jumps work, and how it’s whenever he died or when the dragon dies, but never when the Hunters die, and Philza’s eyes light up.)

He takes a moment, and looks carefully at Dream, and then rearranges his wings (which look burned out, with holes in them and Dream can’t help but think: that shouldn’t be there.)

He looks away for a moment, thinking back to his childhood memory of big fluffy wings that can wrap kids around in them, powerful enough to fly so high in the sky while holding onto his children, and then Philza’s unfurling his wings.

And they look perfect. And Phil looks over at him, and something clicks in his head.

“Oh, mate,” Philza tells him. “You’re the reason the Jumps started.”

Dream’s silent. His hands shake, and he says, in a completely emotionless voice: “What?”

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@theseventhreincarnation [;)]

[watusichris]

I Went to “Rock ‘n’ Roll High”

This story, now expunged from the web, originally appeared on Night Flight in 2015. ********* “Pay five bucks and be in a movie starring the Ramones? Hell, yeah!” And so it was, 37 years ago this month, that I made my first appearance before the cameras, as an extra in the concert sequence in Allan Arkush’s Rock ‘n’ Roll High School.

At that point, I was laboring as the staff writer and publicist for Landmark Theatre Corporation, then a chain of repertory movie houses that included the Nuart, the Sherman, and the Rialto in the L.A. area. (Today it’s an art house chain owned by billionaire Mark Cuban.) In October of that year, I’d become the “rock critic” for the Los Angeles Reader, a new alternative weekly. I’d been a die-hard Ramones fan since the release of their first album in 1976; in fact, I had lost my job at the free-form Madison, Wisconsin, radio station I had worked for after playing their first album in its entirety on the air in the middle of the afternoon. I still hadn’t seen the band live, so I was understandably excited when a tantalizing flyer fell into my hands. It read, “BE IN A MOVIE! AND ATTEND AN EXCLUSIVE RAMONES CONCERT!” I jumped at the chance, called the phone number on the flyer, and reserved two $5 dollar tickets to attend an evening shoot at the Roxy on the Sunset Strip. Why were the filmmakers charging a fin to make the scene? Well, first of all, they knew they could get away with it: The Ramones were punk pathfinders who commanded a large fan base in L.A. More importantly, the money would help defray the cost of a picture that was being filmed on a budget that could charitably be called infinitesimal. Rock ‘n’ Roll High School was the second solo project by director Arkush, the former lighting director of New York’s Fillmore East, who had labored for several years at B-movie titan Roger Corman’s New World Pictures. Arkush had convinced Corman to let him lens his rock ‘n’ roll comedy – a bargain-basement fusion of A Hard Day’s Night and The Girl Can’t Help It – but he had to make the picture on a three-week schedule for a cost of $180,000, virtually nothing for a professional feature. (Historical footnote: The original script for the film, conceived as Girl’s Gym, was written by my University of Wisconsin classmate Joe McBride, who had based his story on a student walkout at his father’s high school in Superior, Wisconsin, in the ‘20s. Joe went on to write authoritative books about Orson Welles, John Ford, and other directors and produced several documentaries about the movies.) On Dec. 14, 1978, I joined a couple hundred other suckers – uh, extras – at the Roxy at 5:30 p.m., for the second of two shoots for the picture that day. The earlier shoot, which had convened at the ungodly hour of 8:30 a.m., had been largely devoted to filming footage in the club’s cramped upstairs dressing room area and tight set-ups featuring the band and the picture’s stars. The Roxy was standing in for the fictitious “Rockatorium,” the exterior of which was actually the Mayan, an ancient, ornate theater in downtown L.A. In the picture, high school rocker and adoring Ramones fan Riff Randell (P.J. Soles of Halloween and Carrie) and her gal pal Kate Rambeau (debutante actress Dey Young) attend the Ramones concert against the express wishes of evil Vince Lombardi High principal Evelyn Togar (Mary Woronov, a former member of the Exploding Plastic Inevitable, the dance troupe that had performed under Andy Warhol’s auspices with the Velvet Underground at their New York club gigs). The venue was crowded that night, and insanely hot, thanks to the movie lights that sent temperatures soaring inside the small venue. It was under these extreme circumstances that the “audience” of extras was introduced to the tedium of movie-making; we were directed to pogo up and down repeatedly as the Ramones ran through pre-recorded versions of the five songs – “Blitzkrieg Bop,” “Lobotomy,” “California Sun,” “Pinhead,” and “She’s the One” – that would be heard in the movie’s climactic concert sequence. I stood about 20 feet from the stage, melting in my heavy leather bomber jacket, and surveyed the crowd. An actor costumed as an enormous white mouse stood a few feet to my left. The open cash-for-casting call had drawn a motley assemblage; the extras ranged from Valley girls in Fiorucci finery (not entirely unlike what Dey Young is wearing in the scene) to hardcore Hollywood punks. Standing directly in front of me, and visible in most of the shots taken from the stage, were the Germs’ lead singer Darby Crash and bassist Lorna Doom. You can’t miss Darby – he’s wearing a white jacket sporting a black Germs armband. (He would die from a suicidal heroin overdose just shy of two years to the day later.) It was a long night, protracted by multiple camera set-ups and inevitable retakes, but the crowd weathered it with good humor. After all, we were all gonna be in the movies! But the icing on the overheated cake came at the end of the shoot, sometime after 11 o’clock, when, after a brief pause, the Ramones returned to the stage, plugged in for real, and treated their fans to a loud, full-on, seven-song mini-set. (The action wasn’t filmed, but audio can be heard as an extra on Shout! Factory’s 2010 DVD re-release of the movie.) When I finally saw the finished film after it opened in April 1979, I was gratified to discover that I had not been consigned to the cutting room floor. If you look carefully – I mean, very, very carefully -- at the shots of the crowd taken from the stage, in the upper left-hand corner of the screen you’ll see a guy with shoulder-length hair and ugly glasses, clad in a bomber jacket, punching the air with his fist and chanting, “HEY! HO! LET’S GO!” That would be me. The film’s final scene, the destruction of Vince Lombardi High by its rebellious students, was still to be shot, and a week or two later some of us trekked down to Mt. Carmel High, an abandoned Catholic school in Watts, to visit the location. (This was probably on the eve of the Ramones’ Christmas show at the Whisky a Go Go, which I attended.) Temperatures in L.A. that week hit record-shattering lows, and so, after a couple of hours milling around freezing amid the chaos on the street, I split the scene before the building was blown up. But stories of that night rapidly circulated among L.A. punkdom: The technicians in charge of the pyro had underestimated the power of the charge, and when it was detonated it reduced a large part of the school to rubble, and also blew out dozens of windows in the neighborhood, terrifying the local residents. That’s show biz. It does look great on screen. Four years later, I had the opportunity to hang around the Wiltern Theatre location of Allan Arkush’s second rock movie, the ill-fated Get Crazy. (Allan had managed to survive the case of exhaustion that had put him in the hospital at the end of the Rock ‘n’ Roll High School shoot; the picture had been completed by Joe Dante, who had co-directed 1976’s movie spoof Hollywood Boulevard with him, and would go on to helm Gremlins). I interviewed Allan at home at that time; he is a charming guy and a complete music nut, and also the only person I know who has a light show installed in his living room. The Ramones likewise survived the Rock ‘n’ Roll High School shoot – they had already managed to live through making an album with Phil Spector, so they were game for anything. Sadly, only drummer Marc “Marky Ramone” Bell is still with us today. But the movie – as cheap, goofy, and frequently silly as it is -- lives on in TV, repertory, and film festival screenings as a testimony to the band’s energy, spirit, power, and bountiful sense of fun. I’m glad I had a chance to be a small part of it.

[1-1snailxd-art]

Libraries are for Meetings

Master List —– Chapter 8

Chapter 9 - Life is a Book

Warnings: negative thoughts, death mentioned, memories of trauma 

Summary: E prepares for their day as the anniversary draws nearer and Virgil thinks about the past for the first time in a while. .

Word count: 3832

Note: reading on mobile can remove the paragraphing sometimes. Use desktop site or visit my Ao3 page if it bothers you as much as it bothers me.

____________________

Heat. Screams. Burning. Pulling. Crying.

“E! Jason!”

“Are they breathing?”

“They’re breathing. You need to cool them down and stop the bleeding; I’m going back.”

“Jason, don’t!”

“Oskar hasn’t come out. I’m going back. Just take care of E, Sasha. I’ll be back”.  

Heat. Screams. Burning. Crying. Sirens. Screams. Screams. Scream.

 Eyes snapping open, E gasped for breath as their heart raced from the memory. Shaking hands tightened around their blankets and pulled them close to their chest as they started timing their breaths and grounding their senses in reality. It took 10 minutes for them to be able to sit up; muscles stiff from being tensed up so long. They slowly stood and made their way over to their dressing table mirror; sighing as they took in their unfiltered appearance - head shaven and maintained around the leathery skin on their scalp, red scar lines tracing the skin under their left eye and cheek. Those features didn’t bother E anymore; they were nothing but a minor inconvenience, the mounds on their chest were another story. Despite sleeping in an oversized shirt, they could still see the fabric protruding out slightly; and E squeezed their eyes shut as their mind, body and soul fought over their identity.

E hated mornings like this; just not being sure of their gender. They preferred the days they felt just feminine or just masculine; those days were easy compared to days like today, when they just didn’t know.

Their stomach growled in hunger, snapping them out of their thoughts. Avoiding the mirror, E slipped on a green hoodie and yellow beanie before heading downstairs to greet their roommates. Sophie and Xander were just leaving as E reached the bottom of the stairs, getting a brief farewell before the front door closed.

“Morning, E!” Sam called from the kitchen, popping out with two plates of scrambled eggs. “I hoped you were up. I have a massive favour to ask.”

“Shoot.” Taking a seat at the table, E watched as Sam repeatedly tucked their long fringe behind their ear and sat down.

“I have a big presentation today and I was wondering if you could do my hair and make-up. You do such a good job and I really want to make a good impression during the presentation. Can you spare some time, please?”

“Sure, your make up is an easy job.”

Sam beamed, “Thank you so much. I’ll pay you for this of course.”

“Don’t bother,” E muttered, slipping another spoonful of eggs into their mouth, “breakfast is payment enough.”

 As soon as their plates were cleaned, E invited Sam to their room and set to work on their makeup for the day. The work was a good distraction, though looking at Sam’s red streaks gave them flashes of flames and they took a moment to refocus before continuing. It was going to be a long day of held emotions if the morning was anything to go by.

 “You had a nightmare, didn’t you?”

The questioned stunned E so much, they almost poked Sam’s eye with the liquid liner tip.

“What? Where’d you get that idea?”

“You’ve been off all morning, Ethan.” The name sent a calm through Ethan’s mind and the world seemed to get a little clearer; Sam was always good at picking which name they needed to hear. “Are you going to stay with your family this weekend?”

With a sigh, he nodded and continued working.

“I’m staying with the library crew tonight and then I’ll be with my aunt the rest of the weekend.”

“That’s good. Those library guys will look out for you. Is your sister going too?”

“Sasha doesn’t really associate with them anymore,” straightening, Ethan moved to finish styling Sam’s hair. “I think the guilt is too much for her; I mean, it was her party, but Oskar is just as bad too.”

“That sucks. I know Sasha and Jason were good friends. It’s a shame she couldn’t have stayed connected with Logan at least.”

“Yeah, well, they’ll see each other this weekend for sure.” Moving around, Ethan inspected their work and made a few small adjustments. “My aunt is catering for the Reels memorial again and giving them the diner for most of the day. I hope she lets it go after this year. Honestly, the whole action is a little over the top and selfish.”

“Everyone deals with guilt in their own way, E. Don’t knock your aunt too much.”

“Yeah, I know.” Stepping back, Ethan gestured to the mirror, “all done.”

Sam beamed at their braided hair and soft silver eyes that matched their blouse. “It’s amazing.”

“You’re going to knock ‘em dead today.”

“Thanks, Ethan.” Sam stood and blew a kiss in his direction. “Message me if you need anything, okay?”

With a nod, Sam headed off to collect their things while Ethan grabbed their binder and headed into the bathroom for a shower.

   Locking the door behind them, Ethan headed for the bus stop to make their way into town. They had a short, blond wig with gold eye liner; paired with a white speckled, black shirt with dress pants and shoes. Black felt like an appropriate colour for the day, as they made their way to the theatre to do some special effects makeup tests for a new production. A few years ago, Ethan never would have thought they’d be pursuing a career in makeup, but now they couldn’t see themselves doing anything different. Turns out having your face scarred was a good motivator for pursuing a new career in makeup artistry. Taking a seat on the bus he hoped today’s work would provide a reasonable distraction and make the day pass quickly until it was time to go to the library.

  ********************

  The moment the morning Librarian, Tate, officially opened the library, Virgil raced inside to begin boxing up his gaming system. He had sent an apology message to Ben earlier but was yet to receive any form of reply, which had him worried beyond belief. Part of him hoped that the threats against the library were fake and he would simply come after him, but he wasn’t about to take any risks. His only hope was that Pete was in a giving mood and had some more items for him to fix.

 Air fresh, Virgil wished he had his thicker hoodie on as his deep violet jacket was doing nothing to stop the wind slicing through him. Pushing through the doors of Pete’s Pawn Shop, he was thankful for the reprieve from the chilling winds.

“Virgil!” The rotund man boomed from the back of the store. “How’s my junior fixer going today?”

“Fine, thanks, Pete.” Reaching the store counter, Virgil placed the box down and put on his best act of confidence. “Got this relic back in working order. Perfect for selling to a hardcore gamer with plenty of money from their mothers’ basement.”

Pete laughed and opened the box to pull out Virgil’s meticulous report of what he had done and how the system ran. Half of it was nonsense to the man, but he pretended to read it all over for the sake of professionalism.

“Seems you did a fair bit on this thing?”

“It had a fair amount of wear and tear from neglect and general ageing.” Virgil assured, pulling out the controller to show off. “I cleaned all the pieces so it’s almost as responsive as any modern console. Considering its age, and former condition, this thing runs as smooth as anything. Collectors would be foolish to walk past a piece like this.”

“Okay, okay, Virge, I see what you’re saying.” Pete turned to his computer and started typing away. “You want fair price for your work, I understand.”

“I need more than fair, Pete.” Virgil turned and leant his back against the counter and looked around the store. “I need to be in the green zone and make our partnership worthwhile.”

“Alright, kid.” Pete clicked away from the search screens he had just used to double check the systems value and opened the register to retrieve some cash. “How about $50 for your efforts?”

Looking sideways at the money on the counter, Virgil shook his head. “That’s barely covering the labour and parts, Pete. I paid you $20 for this thing in the first place and it was only a dust collector at that point. Make it $120.”

A smile spread across Pete’s bearded face and he laid more notes on the counter. “$60 and then you’ve got $40 in the green.”

“Not good enough,” turning to face the man, Virgil leant his hands on the counter and met Pete’s gaze. “I need more green for parts; make it worth it.”

“$75 a better colour?”

“$100 would put me in a better place.”

“Why don’t we settle on $85 and I’ll throw in a busted blender for free?”

Slamming his hand down on the money, Virgil thrust his other hand toward Pete. “Deal.”

Accepting the hand, Pete gave it a firm shake before closing the till and grabbing the box down from the counter. “Go take your choice of appliance from out the back, kid. That’ll be an easy 20 for ya later.”

“Thanks Pete.”

Pocketing the money, Virgil quickly headed to the storeroom to assess his possible options. Pawn shops were a sense of comfort for the young man, a pleasant memory of much of his childhood spent in his grandparent’s store where he learnt how electronics worked from the employees. While his grandmother managed the jewellery aspect of the store, Virgil spent his days working with his grandfather’s tech-group; watching them pull apart and piece together everything from toasters to PCs. Losing his grandparents, and the store, was the first domino that fell in a series of events that transformed his childhood to a less than pleasant memory.

 Pete appeared in the doorway and Virgil turned to give him a deflated look.

“Have you got anything a bit more substantial?”

“Sorry, Virge, this is all the stock I have. Phil came in and took my last PC yesterday.”

After sending a silent curse to Phil, Virgil grabbed a small handheld game that seemed in reasonable condition and followed Pete back out.

“Look, I know you prefer your other guys to do your client jobs, but can you please give me a call if you get anything in that you’re happy for me to work on. I really need the money.”

“I can’t promise anything, but,” The man ran a hand over his head and took a long look at the young mans fragile form, “if I get anything coming through I’ll give you a call.”

“Thanks, Pete. I really appreciate it.” Virgil headed for the door; eager to get back to his office and start on his new project.

“Take care of yourself,” the door closed, and Pete sighed, “lord knows you look like you need it.”

  ****************

 The library was uncharacteristically busy for a Friday morning; a constant flow of studiers and families pulling books from shelves and engaging in whispered discussions. Headphones blocked out the sounds outside of his office, as Virgil inspected the disassembled the handheld. Slouched in his chair, Virgil stared at the collection of parts and tried to mentally work out which parts were going to be salvageable. Lost in thought and music, the vibration of his phones alarm had him jolting out of his chair in shock; expecting the vibration to signal a message from Ben. Though his heart still raced with fear, once his mind comprehended the time, fear was replaced with excitement. Tate took notice of the unusual spring in the cleaner’s step as he left the library; a smile on his face for the first time in months.

  The wind was still cold and unkind as Virgil made his way to the university; pulling his hood up to shield his ears. He had exchanged his jacket for a heavy black hoodie with white ringed designs, which was proving to be a better shield against the cold. Heart pounding with excitement despite the quiet whispers of doubt; Virgil wasn't going to let those voices stop him today. Today was his day. He was making the choice to see Logan. It was his decision, and he was going to enjoy it.

  Virgil's throat instantly tightened as his music was cut off for an incoming phone call, and he quickly slipped into an ally to answer it discretely. Relief hit hard when he saw the caller ID was Katie.

"What's up, Reels?"

"Is that an echo I hear, Virgil? You better not still be at the library." Katie sounded irritated and Virgil rolled his eyes.

"No, Mum. I slipped into an ally to escape the wind."

"Oh." He could hear Katie clearing her throat and shuffle around on the other end of the line. "Sorry. I thought you were hiding from, Logan. That was a dick move on my part."

"It's fine, Katie, but I'm going to be late if you don't get to the point." "Yeah. Sorry. I was wondering if you wanted to help me set up for the meeting this afternoon, instead of your normal clean. That way you won't miss any hours; unless you've already got plans."

"Nah, that's fine." He hid a sigh of relief at the prospect of keeping his hours up, and mentally adjusted his money situation. "Starting at my normal time?"

"Yes, please."

"Too easy. I'll see you then."

"Have fun with Lo-gan."

"Bye, Reels."

Virgil hung up the phone as Katie erupted into giggles; looking at the time and quickening his pace to make sure he met Logan on time. Memories shifted to the front of his mind as he got closer, and he slowly increased the volume of his music to overpower the thoughts.  

  ********************

  Logan had never been one to watch the clock, but today he could not stop himself from glancing between the loud analogue clock on the wall and his watch. The professor’s voice faded from his hearing, drowned out by the ticking of the clock edging closer to the session being over. Restless fingers fidgeted with his pens until finally the group was dismissed and Logan packed up faster than he had ever done before.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, his heart sank when he didn't see Virgil waiting outside. Coat tucked over his arm in the rush, the wind sliced across his uncovered arms as he stood outside the  building; a still figure in the flow of exiting students. As the crowd thinned, Logan turned towards the car park with his heart sinking. In that moment, he consciously realised just how excited he had been to see Virgil again. Though he had known he was enjoying their company, Logan hadn't been willing to admit the extent of his feelings. Despite hardly knowing anything about him, he felt that Virgil was more than a simple acquaintance; he was already a friend.

 "Logan!"

Logan's head jerked around at the sound of Virgil's voice and he was quick to spot the thin man waving as he made his way up the path. Making no effort to hide his sigh of relief, Logan waved back and smiled.

"Didn't think I ditched you, did ya?" Virgil beamed, slipping his headphones off and proceeding to slip them into his bag.

"I will admit," Logan chuckled and fiddled with his bag strap, "that was my initial conclusion. I am glad you proved me wrong."

"I'll try not to make a habit of it." Virgil naturally began walking beside Logan as they headed towards the carpark; as if it was a regular routine they had. "How was class?"

"Very uneventful," he practically grumbled the reply, "as most lectures have become. I prefer opportunities to complete hands on activities and research tasks. Listening to someone drone on for an hour is beyond me - What's so funny?"

No longer hiding it, Virgil openly laughed and nudged Logan's shoulder, "You never cease to amaze me, Lo."

"What do you mean?"

"You've been arrested, you're pretty much a pro-athlete, and you hate lectures just as much as any  regular person."

"It may surprise you to know," Logan reached up and adjusted his glasses with a smirk, "but I am a regular person."

 To the untrained eye, the pair seemed like old friends as they laughed their way into the car park and stepped up to Logan's surprisingly close parking spot. Depositing bags in the back of the car, they slid into their respective seats after confirming pizza was the best lunch option and Virgil plugged the order into his phone for them to pick up on the way. After exiting the car park, Logan steered the conversation away from himself and tried to earn some more from Virgil.

 "So, what did you get up to this morning, Virgil?"

Virgil shrugged and slid his phone back into his pocket, "nothing much. Went down to the pawn shop to sell one gaming system and buy another. Nothing newsworthy or anything."

"On the contrary, I find your work fascinating. When did you learn all this stuff?"

"My grandparents owned a pawn shop and I spent a lot of time there when I was younger." A weight shifted on Virgil's chest as he spoke; but emotion still gripped at his throat slightly. "I learnt everything from my grandad and the fixers that worked for him."

"You are very lucky to have such a close relationship with your grandparents."

"Yeah, I was..." Head dropping, Virgil picked at his nails absently as he felt Logan sag into his seat.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's okay. I got 13 years with them; that's more than some people get."

"True, but that doesn't make your feelings any less valid. It sounds like they had a significant influence on your childhood."

Straightening in his chair, Virgil raised his head to look ahead and compose himself as his throat constricted further.

"They were very much my childhood. I spent more time with them than either of my parents." Pausing to take a shaky breath, Virgil recalled their smiling faces the last time he had seen them. "They didn't deserve to die the way they did."

Brow furrowing, Logan chanced a glance at his passenger; question cautiously forming on his lips.

"May I ask what happened?"

 Part of Virgil screamed for him to remain silent as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the headrest. He hadn't spoken to anyone about his grandparents since he stopped going to therapy; but part of him wanted to tell Logan. Logan had already told him so much about his past and it only seemed fair that he did the same to some degree.

Eyes remaining closed, Virgil slowly spoke; each word painfully tearing at his soul to leave his mouth.

"They went missing. Just didn't open the shop one day. Vanished for two weeks along with my Dad." A single tear threatened to slip from his closed eye, and Virgil took a shaky breath in and forced the emotion away. "They came back and I got to see them one last time before... Before they were..."

 Pulling into a parking space near the pizza shop, Logan placed a hand on Virgil's shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze. Virgil turned away and sighed; unable to find the words to continue.

"You don't have to say anymore if you don't want to, Virgil. It's okay." Logan assured and felt blindly in his centre console for a pack of tissues to offer.

Virgil opened his eyes and turned to face the man beside him; hazel eyes as soft and comforting as the hand on his shoulder. His thoughts froze for a moment as he found himself lost in Logan's comforting features; pained memories present but duller with those eyes on him and hand lifting to offer a pack of facial tissues. Finally, he was able to swallow the lump in his throat and nodded gratefully; taking the tissues and tearing his gaze away so he didn't cry.

 "I'm going to get the pizza," the drivers side door opened as Logan prepared to leave. "Why don't we change the subject upon my return."

He carefully closed the door, after Virgil gave him an affirming nod, and headed around the corner to collect the pizza they had ordered. Though Logan felt guilty for bringing up the topic in the first place, he was thankful that he had. The conversation gave him the smallest glimpse into Virgil's past, and he was comforted by the fact he seemed just as determined to hold his emotions to his chest as he was. It was a welcomed change that intrigued him greatly. Everyone Logan had previously befriended had been such  open books, easily talking about themselves and their past; it was overwhelming and slightly boring. On the other hand, Virgil was a choose your own adventure mystery novel that required careful questioning and consideration to find any answers. Their friendship may have happened in a single afternoon, but Logan was now slightly hopeful they could work through their novel-like lives and make a relationship of some kind.

"It's too soon to make judgements like that." Logan reminded himself, "I don't even know if Virgil would be interested in a relationship, let alone one with me."

 After collecting the food, Logan headed back towards the car; pausing for a moment when it first came into view. The man in the passenger seat looked so peaceful; head resting back in the slightly reclined chair and breeze shifting his hair from the opened window. If his hands weren't preoccupied, and it was less creepy, Logan would have taken a photo; Patton would have in his position. In the moments before reaching the car, Logan made a decision. I rather selfish and impulsive decision considering the circumstances.

 Sliding into the car, Virgil stirred from his light sleep and gratefully took the boxes from Logan's hands. With his hands free, Logan looked down at the rings on his fingers; a simple black band on his right middle finger and a silver band on the index finger of the same hand. While Virgil was focused on inspecting the pizza, Logan slipped the silver band off and changed it to his left hand. The action would have seemed foolish and unnecessary to an onlooker, but for Logan it was a sign of moving on. The ring was originally a symbol of friendship given to him by Jason, but then he changed the rings placement, making a mock proposal out of the event.

"I want this on your right hand now because  right here, right now, I am yours. For now, and forever. And perhaps, one day, if all goes well, I might move it again."

Smiling sadly to himself, Logan started the car and stared at his hands on the steering wheel for a moment longer before pulling away.

____________________

End Note:

Sorry I dropped off the edge of the Earth for a while. Part of this chapter just wasn’t working out for me and I kept leaving it and coming back to delete and start again. I’ve got a holiday break coming up again soon, so I’m hoping to get out of this slump I’m in and write a fair bit and get ahead again.

Also, if you haven’t already, you should check out the art @the-pastel-peach did for Chapter 7. Logan and Virgil look so good and she did a great job at capturing the emotion on their faces as Logan tells Virgil how he met Jason. I just love it.

Another side note because I put this on Tumblr: I’m no longer in immediate fire danger anymore; though it seems every couple of days the fire level goes from ‘high’ to ‘extreme’ (it goes well with the critical water levels). All good though. I got to do the virtual meet and greet with Thomas the other day right after I heard the sirens of the fire truck heading out. He was so sweet though as I had a slightly ‘panicked’ moment at the start of our time (seriously, he knows how to quickly steer a conversation and take your mind off things).

Tag List (let me know if you want to be removed)

@notalwaysthebadguy   @thequeensphinx

_____________________________

Chapter 10   — MasterList

What else have I done:

The Perfect Ring (oneshot - analogical proposal)

You Promised (oneshot - prinxiety angst/injury/near death)

Sides of a Hero (Completed Fic - sides are fusions of impulses and aspects of Thomas. Virgil has a depressing past that he is forced to face thanks to Deceit and Rage. Was canon compliant at the time of completion)

The Shield to your Sword (WIP - A fantasy/magic au - Prinxiety (Royal Roman and orphan Virgil - they’ll admit to their love eventually), Virgil angst, non binary, healer Logan, *spoiler* Patton)

Writing Master Post

Check out my other blog for random fandom reblogs and stuff @snail-giggles

[ao3-elle1991]

elle1991's 2018 round-up!

Wow, it's hard to believe the year is almost over. It's been an exciting one, so let's take a look back on what's happened, and what's coming up in 2019!

The stats...

In 2018:

I wrote 9 stories

I wrote 313,591 words

88,619 of you read my stories

The fics...

Here is a full list of the stories I wrote in 2018:

Steve And Bucky's Kinky Alphabet (176,544 words) - 26 chapters of explicit porn-with-plot featuring Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. Each chapter focuses on a different kink, with one chapter for every letter of the alphabet. Or: the one where JARVIS goes rogue and kidnaps the Avengers until they can sort their mental health out, and Steve and Bucky fuck a lot and fall in love.

I Like Cats, Too (10,526 words) - The Avengers are more than just a team; they are a family. When that family is torn apart by the split caused by the Sokovia Accords, Natasha regresses into herself and lapses into a prolonged period of silence. As Team Cap hide away in Wakanda under the protection of T'Challa, will anyone be able to help Natasha overcome her depression and mutism? Enter a very special cat named Midnight...

At Your Service (12,931 words) - Clint and Natasha lose a bet. For the next 24 hours, they have to dress up in matching outfits and do everything Phil Coulson says... Or: The one where Phil gets Clint and Natasha to dress up and act out some of his many, many Captain America fanboy fantasies.

Secrets (40,706 words) - Bucky Barnes is a man with a lot of secrets: he is a member of the elite Avengers squad; he is 100 years old; for 70 years, he was HYDRA's weapon, carrying out countless acts of horrific violence whilst under their control. Nevertheless, despite his dark past, he is trying to move on with his life, working hard as a SHIELD agent and even developing a relationship with Tony Stark, a fellow SHIELD agent who heads up the R&D division of the Tech department. All seems to be going well, until a security breach at SHIELD threatens to expose Bucky's past as HYDRA's secret weapon. With one SHIELD agent already murdered by the mystery thief, it is a race against time to find the individual responsible and put a stop to their sinister campaign. Just how long are Bucky's various secrets going to remain secret...?

The Adventures Of Steve Rogers, Newsboy Extraordinaire (11,161 words) - 7-year-old Steve Rogers does not have many friends. The other children in his class think of him as the weird kid who can't speak. His next-door neighbour Bucky Barnes doesn't care about Steve's Selective Mutism though. He thinks Steve is awesome and is willing to fight anyone who says otherwise. When Steve gets a part-time job as a newsboy, it triggers a chain of events that no one could have predicted. A mystery robber is targeting local businesses, putting Steve right in the firing line. Will Steve find the courage within himself to save the day - and even find his voice?

The Black Widow Ice Cream Parlour (3,746 words) - Natasha Romanoff is used to being the least celebrated, least appreciated Avenger - which is why it comes as a shock to stumble upon an ice cream parlour devoted to her whilst on holiday in an obscure corner of Italy. Or: The one where Natasha meets one of the people whose lives she has saved, and finally gets the appreciation she deserves.

Love Is Blind (14,512 words) - After a mission goes horribly wrong, Natasha Romanoff is left completely blind. Whilst SHIELD scientists desperately seek a cure, Natasha struggles to come to terms with her disability. With boyfriend Clint Barton by her side, can she come to terms with a world without sight?

Black Widow By Day, Black Kitten By Night (6,164 words) - Natasha has a kink for kitten pet play. Clint is only too happy to oblige. Or: the one where Natasha dons her cat ears, Clint ties up his pet, and hardcore, steamy sex ensues.

Time After Time (work in progress) - Steve Rogers, Iraq war veteran and long-time loner, feels like his life is stuck in a rut. With no family and a grand total of two friends, he spends most of his spare time alone, painting, jogging or having flashbacks of the war. Which is why when Natasha invites him to a masquerade party at a kink club, Steve throws caution to the wind and decides to give it a go. There he meets the mysterious Winter Soldier, but as things blossom between them, so does a dangerous undercurrent. Both are harbouring a big secret from the other, and the fallout could have lethal consequences...

Captain America Reverse Big Bang ❤️

I cannot talk about 2018 without mentioning the incredible @capreversebb. It was my first ever time taking part in a fandom event and I want to thank the organisers for all their hard work because I had an amazing time! I wrote fics for two incredible artists (@massivespacewren and @ranaraeuchle) and made friends with a bunch of amazing creative people along the way. @chiyume, @velvetjinx, @whatthefoucault, @thelittleblackfox, @cryo-bucky, @buckities and so SO many more folks, my life is richer with you guys in it. Thank you for being so lovely and friendly and just fantastic human beings. You guys rock and I love you all ❤️

Coming in 2019...

I look forward to continuing to entertain you guys in 2019 with more stories! Here's what's in the pipeline:

Finish writing Time After Time (Estimated completion date, based on posting one chapter per week: early May 2019)

Dear Steve (Part I of The Stucky Letters)

Dear Bucky (Part II of The Stucky Letters)

UNTITLED (A Clint Barton origin story based in my Fearless universe)

Like the sound of these fics? If you want to get an email whenever I post something new, then click on my AO3 profile and become a user subscriber.

My personal life...

2018 has been quite a special one in terms of my personal life, too.

At work, I got promoted... twice!

And the one I'm most proud of: I overcame a lifelong dental phobia! Honestly, it has been a rollercoaster journey, but now I've finally done it, I feel an incredible amount of relief and empowerment. If you're struggling with something similar, it might be useful to (1) try to identify exactly what you're afraid of, (2) try to identify what things will help to reduce that fear, and (3) just take things one little step at a time. Keep chipping away at it and, most importantly, don't give up! Good luck, with whatever it may be. You deserve to live a life without fear and if someone as once-terrified as me can do it, it is absolutely within your ability to do it too ❤️

A special message for you...

And last but certainly not least, I cannot talk about 2018 without giving a huge hats-off to you guys, my readers! I love writing and would do it even without an audience, but the fact that there are thousands of you out there who read my fics makes it a million times more rewarding!

THANK YOU for your readership, your loyalty, your kudos, your comments, your love, your excitement and your enthusiasm for my stories. You make writing so much more fun, and knowing that you guys enjoy reading my works and that these stories touch your lives in some small way is just such a humbling and wonderful experience.

I look forward to sharing more stories with you next year, and reading your thoughts in the comments section of AO3! And if you've been a silent lurker so far... come and say hi! I'm not scary, I promise, and I love to connect with readers ❤️

All the best for 2019, folks. See you on the other side!

Lots of love,

Eli

xxx

[atthebell-moved]

syti characters list etc.

making a post for this so i can link it instead of writing essays in my notes. will add when more characters come up/as needed. spoilers for ch. 2 included below.

phil: fae, has wings, is old as shit, immortal. he traveled the world and built a bunch of shit (hardcore... im shot before i can finish the thought) and then died but Death was so enamoured with him they got married and she brought him back to life or whatever idk

kristin: Lady Death, death goddess, not quite as old as time but almost, idk lots of cool powers. she was very tired of her job after a bit but was inspired by this freak little man (i wonder who) and fell in love & blessed him. she still has her day job but shes started delegating more and going on vacation. idk im just saying things

techno: around 12-13, little piglin guy, changeling (if you want a long post explaining my reasoning on techno, wilbur, and tommy being changelings, lmk), also immortal bc changeling + son of Death. phil found him in the nether and brought him home.

wilbur: 8-9, human, changeling, also immortal bc changeling + son of Death. kristin found him while she was walking around a nearby city. wilbur and techno are twins bc idk i said so no theyre not the same age or species but wilbur decided it and everyone just lets him say it bc it makes him happy

tommy: itty 18m-2yo, vampire (not a turned vamp-- if you want more vampire lore pls ask i will never shut up about it. but yeah he just spawned in the woods one day) wilbur found him in the woods and brought him home; before that, tubbo and ranboo had been playing with him and bringing him snacks for a few months. phil and kristin, by adopting him as theirs (well. mostly wilburs fault but theyre happy with it obvi), have adopted him as a changeling.

puffy: no clue. probably a bit young to have teenagers but old enough to have been a pirate for like at least a decade so like. 35. idk. sheep hybrid, semi-retired pirate captain. once her boys get a little older she'll probably un-retire and theyll join her crew.

dream: 13, dragon! puffy found him as an egg that poachers were trying to smuggle at the docks and stole him back. his original clutch was gone, although they tried looking for them, so now he lives with puffy and foolish and shares his dad's hoard

foolish: 14, shark totem hybrid. idk puffy found him as a little totem baby/shark pup while stealing from another pirate and was like free baby why not idk

captainsparklez: adult werewolf, like 30-something. found eret in the same city kristin found wilbur in, and brought her home once he couldnt track down her sire. crumb appeared in his house one day and just never left, tubbo is a little wolf he found or adopted like normally or idk hes his kid with iskall who knows

eret: ~13? idk. eret was sired and abandoned as a very young vampire and the captain found him in an alley and brought him home, but hed been exposed to direct sunlight and it really damaged his eyes. they can see but theres weird film over everything; they use vampire magic to see a little better. i didnt

crumb: idk itty bitty like tubbo and tommy but theyre a weird little cryptid so ???. the ages in this make no sense anyway. but yeah shes like a cryptid creature with a box over their head who just showed up in the captain's house one day.

tubbo: 3-4 tiny tiny baby but old enough to get into the woods and cause mischief. like i said you can think of whatever explanation you like for how jordan got him i just think that hc is adorable

ranboo: ???, weird little woods cryptid. he has big floppy ears and long limbs and idk he looks funky. whatever you imagine him as, thats what he looks like. tubbo found him in the woods after he found tommy and theyve been hanging out for a few months. he speaks in little chirps and shit and can teleport.

schlatt bc i just mentioned him in ch 2: idk like 14, also a spawned vamp & not a changed one. him and wilbur like to shove each other into bushes. he likes to think hes a lone wolf but he hangs out with everyone. phil keeps offering to let him stay with them but he "has a very fucking cool castle, old man, leave me alone" (the castle is a stone hut in the woods, he is a disaster)

niki hasn't appeared yet but she will: like 7-8, itty little merling. she lives in a creek near the woods, wilbur found her there once after he fell in and goes and visits her twice a week. her and dream hang out sometimes when he wants to go swimming and idk ill think of more when i get to the chapter with her

and more to come!

[doomedhowell]

The Punk And The Pianist

Summary: Dan is a struggling college student whose dream is to be a pianist, but he doesn’t think it’s a “practical” job. Phil is a punk works as a bartender at a small bar. Dan decides to try playing the piano for open mic night at the bar, Phil sees him blah blah blah they fall for each other blah blah happy end.

Trigger Warnings: swearing, g-note (as suggested by my artist :D)

Word Count: 5,259

here is the art link!

A/N: I’m so excited to post my first phandomreversebang fic! I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope you guys enjoy it!

Dan had always wanted to be a professional piano player. It’s been his dream ever since he was a little kid. Well, ever since his parents had first introduced him to the piano, at least. He started piano lessons early at five years old and continued taking them until he was a teenager.

Now Dan is nineteen years old and currently in college and he’s working hard to get a major in music. His dream still is to be a professional pianist but he’s quickly starting to think that maybe this isn’t the best job if he really wants to make it in the real world. There’s so many things that he’s starting to worry about on top of struggling to get through college, and it’s just his first year.

Sure, he loves playing the piano, but how is that supposed to pay the rent? Dan’s going to be out of college in a couple of years and he’ll need to find a job where he’ll make money and be able to rent an apartment. He doesn’t even need a fancy house or anything. He just wants to survive.

It’s the weekend when Dan decides to visit his friend, Louise. She goes to the same college as him and they usually hang out together. Louise has been busy this week with school work so Dan didn’t get to see her as much so he’s taking this opportunity while he can. Louise is a great listener and gives good advice and Dan has a lot that he needs help with at the moment so maybe Louise will be able to help him.

“Hey Dan!” Louise greets cheerfully as she allows Dan into her dorm after giving him a warm hug.

“Hey,” Dan smiles after walking into her dorm. He glances around a second before looking over at her.

“What’s up?” Louise asks softly as she shuts the door. She looks over at Dan.

“I need help with something,” Dan says. They walk over and sit down on Louise’s bed. “I’m confused…”

“Okay. Talk to me. What are you confused about?” Louise asks as she leans back against her pillows.

“It’s just…” Dan sighs and shakes his head. “I’m not sure if I chose the right career path, you know? Obviously I love playing the piano but how do I know if that’s going to help me in the future with things like money, and a job? I don’t even know where to start and I’m really struggling.”

“Dan, I know you. You love playing the piano. Maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to push it aside. You haven’t even finished college yet and that’s the major you’re going for. Maybe you’re unsure because of all the work college has you doing. You haven’t had much time to play the piano really,” Louise says.

“Oh…” Dan blinks a few times. “Yeah. I didn’t even think about that.’

“You know… I know of this bar that does open mic nights and they allow piano players. It’s a small bar but it’s quite popular. Maybe you should try it? Maybe someone will recognize your talent,” Louise smiles. “You just need to get back into the groove again with your piano playing.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Louise. I knew you’d be able to help me,” Dan reaches over and hugs her.

“Oh, what can I say?” Louise laughs as she hugs Dan back. “I know you’ve been struggling lately. You’re my best friend and I just want to see you happy and do what you want in life, you know?”

“Thanks,” Dan says as he pulls away. “Text me the name of that bar later. I’d like to give it a shot. I mean, I’ve never performed in front of an actual crowd before but… I think it’d be okay.”

“Yes, it will be. And I’ll even go so you have a friend in the audience,” Louise grins.

Dan couldn’t believe Louise had actually convinced him to perform at an open mic night in a bar. In front of an audience. Dan has never performed in front an audience before so this was very nerve wracking. The only people he ever performed in front of is his piano teacher, his family and a few of his friends.

But one thing Dan was excited about was being able to play the piano again freely.

And maybe, Louise will be right. Maybe this will help him stop second guessing himself about the piano.

But now Dan only has until Sunday night to think of a song and practice it as much as he can because he definitely does not to want to mess up his first time playing in front of an audience.

Dan quickly decides later on that same Friday night that he wants to play Welcome To The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance for his performance. It’s one song that he already knows how to play really well on the piano and he also thinks that a lot of people, hopefully, will know the song which might help him with well first impressions with the audience. Dan is so worried about how the audience will react.

“Are you nervous about performing tonight?” Louise asks as she stands with Dan by his mirror. It was finally Sunday night and Dan would be leaving with Louise in about a half an hour. He wants to get there early just in case something happens to go wrong. “What am I saying? Of course you are.”

Dan chuckles. “Yeah, I am nervous but… also a little bit excited,” he says, fixing his hair.

“Good, you should be excited. This is your first live performance in front of an audience,” Louise smiles.

“I’m just worried. What if something happens and I totally screw up? I don’t want them to hate me,”

“Dan, it’s okay if you screw up. You’re human. Everybody makes mistakes,” Louise assures him.

“But my biggest fear is getting booed,” Dan pouts. “I just want everything to go well tonight.”

“And they will go well tonight,” Louise sighs and shakes her head. “You just have to have positive thoughts and try not to worry about what could possibly go wrong. Because, if you do think about that… then something most likely will go wrong and we don’t want that. Is that good advice?” She giggles.

Dan rolls his eyes playfully. “Yeah, I get what you’re trying to say. Positive thoughts,” he says.

“Good boy,” Louise says. She takes a step back and looks over Dan’s outfit. “Wow. Perfect outfit choice. You look nice but you’re not trying too hard. You should be good to go.”

“Can’t I practice one more time before we go?” Dan begs.

“Dan, you’ve practice like fifty times this weekend since I told you about the gig,” Louise says.

“Because I’m nervous and I don’t want to fuck anything up,” Dan whines.

“You’re not going to uh… you know, do that,” Louise says, stopping herself from swearing. “You’re a very good piano player and I just wish that you would see that. You gotta have a little faith in yourself, Daniel.”

Once Dan is finally ready to go, they leave Dan’s dorm and call an Uber to the bar where Dan will be playing at for the night. He was starting to get more nervous once they actually reached the building.

“Come on Dan,” Louise says as she gently leads Dan into the bar. “You gotta check in with the manager and let him know what time you’ll be playing so he can introduce you.”

Dan nods. “Thanks. I’ll see you later?” He says as he looks up at Louise.

“You betcha. You’ll see me in the audience when you start playing,” Louise grins at him and then she reaches over and gives Dan a reassuring and comforting hug before walking away.

Dan takes a deep breath and then he walks over to the manager of the bar.

“How can I help you?” The manager asks as he looks up at Dan.

“I’m Dan. I’m supposed to be playing at 8:30pm,” Dan says, fiddling with the hem of his shirt nervously.

“Ah, yes. You’re on the list. Follow me backstage and we’ll help you get ready,”

“Oh, thank you so much-” Dan smiles and follows the manager to where the backstage is. Dan had no idea the bar would be so fancy and organized. He can understand why it’s so popular. Louise loves it here.

“Angelica, this is Dan. He’s the piano player and he plays at 8:30. Help him get ready,”

“Don’t worry about it Scott, I’ve got it from here,” the lady who ‘Scott’ had taken Dan too backstage.

Scott looks to Angelica and smiles before giving her a nod. “Yes, of course. You already know where to find me if you need me but try not to need me,” he says before turning around and leaving the backstage area.

Angelica chuckles and looks over at Dan, looking him up and down. “Piano player, huh?”

Dan blushes and slowly nods. “Um, yeah…”

“Cool. We don’t get piano players here very often but that’s okay. The crowd loves piano players,”

“Really?” Dan asks, a little surprised. “I would think they like bands and singers. Hardcore stuff.”

“Oh, they do. Bands are crowd favorites. But, it’s always nice for a little change, right?” Angelica smiles.

Dan is surprised when he finds out that they have a piano backstage and he’s actually able to practice for about ten minutes before he goes on stage, and he only messed up once out of the two times he had played through the song which makes him feel a lot better. It was only a minor mistake. Being able to play before the show really helped him out and made him feel a lot more confident.

“Our first performer tonight is Dan Howell, and he will be playing the piano. Please give a warm welcome-”

Dan takes a deep breath before walking on stage, and luckily people are clapping and cheering.

Dan nervously walks over to the piano and sits down, trying his absolute best not to focus on the fact that there are so many eyes on him right now. “Hi, um, I’m Dan-” He says shyly. “And I’m going to be playing Welcome To The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance.” He smiles a little when he hears people cheer, so obviously his choice of song was a good choice. He knew it would be a crowd pleaser.

Dan glances up quickly and smiles when he instantly spots Louise in the back, cheering for him just like she said she would. At least he had one supporter in the audience, even if he does mess up.

Dan takes a deep and gently places his finger on the piano and finally begins playing.

The room is silent as Dan plays. Luckily he’s too into the music that he doesn’t really pay attention to the audience. He doesn’t know if they like him or not but he’s just enjoying himself.

Dan looks up once he’s finished playing the piano and he blushes when he sees people cheering. He starts standing up to take a bow but he instantly stops when people start chanting for him to do an encore.

“Encore! Encore! Encore!”

Dan looks around for help and he finally spots the manager, who gives him a nod of approval.

“Thank you,” Dan says into the microphone. “I, um… I don’t have a second song choice. Any requests?”

And so Dan ends up playing three extra songs.

The crowd loves him, or so Dan assumes with all the cheering and the encore chants happening, and Dan almost wants to cry tears of joy once he’s off stage but he manages to force the tears to stay behind.

“Dan, that was amazing!” Louise yells excitedly as she runs up to her best friend, hugging him tightly.

Dan laughs as he hugs her back. “Thanks. That felt amazing! Did the audience love it?”

“Of course. Didn’t you hear them cheering? You were playing the piano and people were still singing along to all of the songs that you were playing. Someone is definitely discovering you after tonight,” Louise grins.

“Well, I’m feeling pumped right now… and I need a drink. Stat,” Dan says.

Louise laughs. “Alright, fine. Go get yourself a drink,” she gently pushes Dan towards the bar.

Dan giggles and then he walks up to the bar, and luckily it isn’t too busy so Dan doesn’t have to wait long. He sits on one of the stools, and let’s out a sigh. He’s exhausted after that set, but he’s also happy. He definitely didn’t expect tonight to go as well as it did but he’s definitely not complaining about it.

“What can I get for ya?”

Dan looks up and stares at the menu. “Uh, I’m not sure… beer, I guess?”

“Hey, aren’t you the guy who just performed, with the piano?”

Dan blushes and slowly nods. “Yes, that’s me,” he replies shyly before looking up at the bartender.

“Wow. You are very talented. I’m not much into piano music but the songs you were chose were amazing,” the bartender smiles at Dan. “Are you a professional piano player? Because if not, you should be.”

“I’m aiming to be but I’m not sure,” Dan shrugs. “I’m conflicted if that’s what I really want to do, y’know? But, that’s why I did this gig because I thought it would help. Oh, I’m rambling again, aren’t I?”

“Wait, you’re actually conflicted? I wouldn’t be if I were as talented as you,” he scoffs and shakes his head.

“Yeah but, is being a piano player really going to help me survive in the real world?” Dan asks.

“You can’t think about that stuff dude,” the bartender says as he hands Dan a can of beer. “You just gotta… do whatever your heart wants. I guess. Who cares about the real world? Whatever that means.”

“Wow. Well, um… thank you, for the advice,” Dan blushes and takes a drink of the beer.

“My name’s Phil. Your name is… Dan? Dan Howell?”

“Yeah,” Dan smiles and nods. “I didn’t expect someone covered in tattoos to like piano music.”

“No, I don’t really. I just loved the songs that you played. I mean… My Chemical Romance? Hell yeah,”

Dan laughs. “Yeah, I thought that would be a good song to play since that’s a well known song to play on the piano. I’ve been playing that song on piano for years anyways so I knew I wouldn’t mess it up.”

“And then you went and played Muse. Do you know how much I love Muse?” Phil asks.

Dan gasps with excitement. “Muse is my favorite band!” He exclaims. “Wow. You like MCR and Muse?”

“Yeah. I’ve never met a piano player who loves pop-punk music,” Phil chuckles. “That’s interesting.”

“Oh, please. I like all types of music. I love pop music, rap. I even like classical music!” Dan exclaims as he smiles proudly. Dan has always been open to all types of different music types and that’s what he’s most proud of. It definitely comes in handy with being a piano player because he gets to try out playing different genres on the piano. Most piano players stick to classical but Dan doesn’t like that.

“So, you pretty much listen to everything? I love that,” Phil smiles back at him.

Dan’s heart flutters as he stares at Phil. He’s never seen such bright blue eyes before. And that smile.

And that’s how Dan ended up making out with an attractive bartender in the pub’s bathroom.

Dan moans as Phil roams his hands all over Dan’s body before kissing and sucking on Dan’s neck until he leaves a hickey but Dan couldn’t care less about the marks.

Phil finally pulls away and stares at Dan. “Do you wanna take this to my place?” He whispers.

A smile forms on Dan’s face and he nods quickly. “Yes,” he breathes.

Dan couldn’t be more grateful that they ended up going to Phil’s house rather than his dorm because that would have been embarrassing. He doesn’t have a roommate but he doesn’t want Phil to see his embarrassingly messy dorm. Phil doesn’t even know that he’s in college.

Going to Phil’s place for the night was the most fun Dan’s had since he started college. He’s been in college for a year now but hasn’t had any time to go out and hook up with boys. But honestly, Dan also hasn’t really been thinking about boys or relationships. He just wants to get through college with no drama.

However, it’s the morning when Dan wakes up completely alone, which he was not expecting.

Dan slowly pushes himself up and looks around. He’s still at Phil’s house. This isn’t his college dorm.

“Phil?” Dan calls. His heart is pounding against his chest. He’s nervous. Did Phil really leave him like this? He thought he and Phil could have had something but apparently he’s the only one who thought that.

Dan takes a deep breath before swinging his legs over the bed. He bends down and grabs his clothes. He quietly gets dressed and grabs his phone before heading out of Phil’s room. He looks around but still doesn’t hear or see any sign of Phil. Dan sighs sadly before walking down the stairs.

Instead of going to his room, Dan goes straight to Louise’s room. He wants to cry but he also doesn’t.

This wouldn’t be the first time Dan has cried over a boy. He hasn’t been in a relationship in over four years, and his last relationship ended badly when Dan caught his boyfriend cheating on him. He cried for days.

Dan knocks on the door repeatedly until Louise finally answers the door.

“What? What is it?” Louise looks up and blinks a few times when she sees Dan standing there. “Dan? What are you doing here? And where did you go last night? Is that a hickey on your neck?”

Dan sniffs, trying his best to keep the tears in his eyes. “I-I made a mistake. I need your h-help,” he says.

“Oh dear,” Louise gently grabs Dan and pulls him into the room. “What happened?”

“I… I met a guy and h-he was really nice about me playing the piano. We made out in the ba-bathroom and then he took me to his place and we had sex. I really liked him but I guess he didn’t the feel the same ab-about me,” Dan sobs, unable to hold in the tears any longer. “Why does this keep happening to me?”

“Dan,” Louise frowns and pulls him into a hug. She comforts him for a few moments before finally pulling away from the hug. “It’s going to be okay. You’ll find someone better than that douche.”

“But he was really nice!” Dan cries. “He liked Muse! And MCR!”

“And I’m sure there are other plenty of nice boys who like Muse and MCR and will love you,” Louise says. “I know it hurts but you just gotta move on and find someone new. Trust me, I’ve been there before.”

Dan sighs in defeat and then he looks up at Louise. “C-Can you help me cover this please?” He asks as he points to the hickey on his neck. “I don’t want it to be there anymore.”

“Of course darling. Let’s go to the bathroom,” Louise leads Dan to the bathroom.

Within minutes, Louise manages to hide the hickey on Dan’s neck and Dan couldn’t be more grateful.

“I never want to date another boy again,” Dan mumbles as he hops off the bathroom counter.

“Aw, come on. Don’t say that. There is someone out there for you Dan,” Louise says softly.

“But where?” Dan asks, stomping his feet. “I’m twenty years old! I don’t wanna be lonely forever.”

“Exactly. You’re twenty years old, Dan. You have plenty of time left to look for love,” Louise says. “Maybe you should just focus on college and the piano. You shouldn’t really worry about that stuff anyways.”

“I was just lonely, I guess. I wanted to have some fun and I thought that he was really nice. He seemed like he actually cared. You should have seen him, Lou. He had all these tattoos and he was a total punk,” Dan says before letting out a sad sigh. “Well, thanks for helping me clean up. I’m a mess right now.”

Louise chuckles. “You’re not a mess, you’re just a little heartbroken… and you have every right to be,”

“Well… I think I’m going to go back to my dorm and watch some anime to make me feel better,”

“Oh Dan,” Louse sighs and shakes her head. “You’re going to be just fine.”

Dan finally says goodbye to Louise and heads back to his dorm.

The next week, Dan pretty much just stayed cooped up in his dorm room, only going out when he absolutely needed to or whenever he went to his classes.

Dan doesn’t know why he’s so hung up on this guy that he just met and only spent one night with. They hardly talked to each other. All Dan knows about him is that he has a lot of tattoos and likes the same music as him. He just seemed really nice. Maybe Dan just a little bit of hope that there could be something between the two of them. It had been a long time since he’s dated anyone, after all.

It’s Friday when Louise finally marches into Dan’s dorm.

“Listen up. We’re going out. I want you to get dressed and clean up,” she demands, yet her voice is soft.

Dan blinks a few times as he looks up from his laptop, looking up at Louise. “What do you mean?”

“Dan, you’ve been cooped up in your dorm all bloody week! You haven’t even been answering any of my texts which is so unlike you. I’ve been worried sick about you,” Louise huffs.

“I’m sorry, Lou. I just haven’t felt like talking to anybody all week,” Dan replies with a shrug.

“Well, that’s going to change. We’re going out and you’re going to have a good time with your best friend,”

“Louise, I don’t want to. Please don’t make me go out,” Dan whines.

Louise grabs Dan’s arm and forcefully pulls him out of bed. “See? That wasn’t so hard, now was it? Okay, let’s chose an outfit. We’re going to a bar so you gotta look nice,”

“You’re taking me to a bar? After what just happened?”

“Yeah. You can meet another boy there. Like I said before, there’s plenty of fish in the sea,” Louise grins.

“But you told me to forget about boys and focus on my school stuff. You’re sending me mixed signals,”

“It’s just one time. I wanna go have fun with my best friend,” Louise says.

Dan sighs. “Fine, just another opportunity to get drunk off my ass I suppose,” he mumbles.

Louise rolls her eyes. “Come on, let’s pick out an outfit!”

After they’ve picked out an outfit for Dan, him and Louise head out despite Dan’s continuous protests.

“Louise, what the hell are we doing here?” Dan asks once the Uber pulls up to the bar, the very same bar where he had met Phil just a week ago. “I’m not going in there.”

“Dan, come in. This is one of the best bars in town,” Louise says, grabbing her purse.

“But he met be in there!” Dan hisses as he glares at Dan. “Screw this. I’m not going-” He crosses his arms against his chest angrily. “I mean it, Louise. Take me back to my dorm.”

Louise rolls her eyes and then she quickly grabs Dan’s arm, she quickly pays the Uber driver and then she pulls Dan out of the car before he can protest anymore. “No, Dan. You’re going to forget about the douche that broke your heart, and have the time of your life with your best friend, okay?

Dan sighs. “I can’t believe you’re making me do this,” he grumbles as he follows Louise.

“Oh, shush. You’re going to thank me for this later,” Louise says.

Dan is hesitant as he walks into the bar with Louise. He doesn’t want to see Phil after what happened. Most people would probably say that he’s overreacting, but Dan feels embarrassed.

Although, if he does see Phil tonight, maybe he can finally get the answers to all the questions he’s had.

“Do you want to get anything to drink, Dan?” Louise asks.

“Um,” Dan glances around before looking back over at Phil. “Not right now. How about we dance for a bit?”

“Okay, now you’re talking!” Louise grins and then grabs Dan’s arm, and excitedly dragging him to the dancefloor. Dan definitely isn’t much of a dancer, especially around others and especially at bars like this, but he’s willing to do anything at this point to help get his mind off of Phil.

Dan dances with Louise for about ten minutes before he starts getting bored, and wanders off. Besides, Louise has already found another boy to dance with so it was just the perfect opportunity to escape, and he was definitely going to leave at the very first opportunity that he got.

Dan would love to stay and have fun with Louise, but he’s just not into being at bars like Louise is.

Dan sighs as he walks up to the bar, and sits down in one of the stools.

“Are you playing tonight?”

“No,” Dan replies, figuring the person is talking about playing the piano. “I’m just here to-” He looks up and then his eyes widen when he sees Phil in front of him. “Phil?” He had just started to forget about him for the first time this whole week and then he just had to run into him now. Things were going so well too.

“Should I get you the same as last time?” Phil asks.

Dan stares at him for a second before shaking his head. “Um, y-yeah… whatever,” he mumbles.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you,” Phil begins as he starts making Dan’s drink.

“I wonder whose fault that is,” Dan’s really trying his hardest not to snap at Phil right now. Dan doesn’t even really hate Phil. He just wants to know why Phil left him like that after what they did.

“What do you mean?” Phil asks, glancing over at Dan.

“I woke up after that night and you were totally gone. Who the fuck even does that?” Dan asks angrily, crossing his arms against his chest. “You couldn’t have left a note or anything?”

“I did leave a note,” Phil sighs. “I left one on the nightstand with my number on it. I guess you didn’t see it,”

“You… what?” Dan asks, frowning. “You actually did?”

“Yes,” Phil confirms. “I still have the note at my house. You really think I’m that type of person?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know you very well,” Now Dan’s starting to feel guilty. He’s been doing nothing but thinking negative thoughts about Phil all week, and Phil isn’t even the bad guy here. If only Dan had looked a little harder than he would have seen the note that Phil had left for him. “But, why did you leave?”

“I had a couple errands to run,” Phil explains. “I felt bad for leaving you alone but it was pretty early so I thought you would still be asleep by the time I got back. But, you were already gone.”

Dan groans and buries his face in his hands. “I’m such an idiot,”

Phil chuckles and then he hands Dan his drink. “I’m not upset with you,” he says, trying to reassure Dan.

“Hey!”

Dan blinks a few times and looks over, and his eyes widen when he sees Louise walking up to him.

“Louise, don’t-”

“Is this guy that douchebag that hurt you?” Louise asks, glaring at Phil. “You listen here-”

“Louise, please don’t,” Dan quickly grabs a hold of her. “Stop. It was all just a big misunderstanding.”

“How could it be?” Louise asks as she looks over at Dan. “He hurt you, Dan. No one hurts my best friend and gets away with it. At least let me beat him up a little bit. He deserves that.”

Phil raises his eyebrows as he watches the two.

“No, he doesn’t deserve any that. Phil didn’t leave me on purpose. He already explained everything to me,” Dan explains to her. “He left a note but I didn’t see it. It’s my fault. I jumped to conclusions too fast.”

Louise blinks a few times as she looks over at Phil. “So, you didn’t mean to hurt Dan?”

“No, I would never hurt someone like that,” Phil replies, shaking his head. “And, I’m truly sorry Dan. I feel awfully that you’ve been hurting. I tried to find you after that night but I didn’t see you at the bar again. I didn’t know where to find you. I was really hoping that we would see each other again though.”

“Really?” Dan asks, a smile forming across his face.

“Of course. You’re sweet, and you’re also very talented, and I’m not just talking about playing the piano,” Phil winks at Dan, instantly causing his cheeks to turn bright pink.

“Can I give you my number?” Dan asks, pulling out his phone. “I’d love to see you again after tonight.”

“Here-” Phil reaches over and grabs Dan’s phone. He quickly types in his number, adding himself as a contact in Dan’s phone. “Text me anytime. I work mostly but I’m usually free on the weekends.”

“Okay,” Dan takes his phone back. “I’m busy during the week as well. College stuff.”

“You’re in college?” Phil asks, obviously surprised. “Wow. Good to know I didn’t fuck a teenager.”

Dan laughs loudly and shakes his head. “I promise I’m not underage,”

“Well, I’ll leave you two alone now. Sorry for yelling at you,” Louise looks at Phil and smiles innocently.

Phil chuckles. “That’s alright. I understand. You were just trying to protect your friend,”

“Best friend,” Louise corrects, and then she grins. “And you’re right. Hey, I like you.”

“Hey, back off-” Dan pouts and pushes Louise playfully. “He’s mine.”

Louise giggles and then she takes off after saying a quick goodbye to Dan.

“Yours, huh?” Phil asks, leaning against the counter, and looking up at Dan.

“I-I mean… i-it’s okay if you don’t want to be. I… I totally understand,” Dan says quickly, blushing.

Phil laughs, and then he gently grabs Dan’s shirt and pulls him down, kissing him.

Dan’s eyes widen in surprise, but he doesn’t hesitate to kiss Phil back once he realizes what’s going on.

Phil smiles into the kiss before finally pulling away. “I need to get back to work before my manager notices that I’m not actually working but I wanted to ask you first, to make up for what happened. Can I take you on a date? Tomorrow evening? We can do whatever you want, and I’ll pay,” he says.

“You don’t have to do that,” Dan says softly. “But I would love to go on a date with you tomorrow.”

“A date it is,” Phil grins. “I can’t wait for tomorrow.”

Dan has to remember to thank Louise later, otherwise, he wouldn’t be going on a date with Phil tomorrow.

[dontcallmecarrie]

Natasha's judgment is so off for a spy. Could we get insight as to how they're thinking? I know you wrote a chapter but maybe some backstory or such to explain why she dislikes Tony on principle? Why she's so quick to insult Maria and choose Steve? Is she caught up in the goodness and honestly Steve seems to project? Does her judgment on his decisions become biased bc she's used to reading ppl who mean harm not ppl who unintentionally/subconsciously harm? Does Steve make her feel like she's good

I’ll see what I can do to clarify this in-story, because odds are you’re not the only one who’s seeing it. Hopefully, though, at least some of my reasoning showed through.

Under the cut, because cue meta and you guys know how much I ramble when I get going:

There’s several factors to it all:

First and foremost, there’s the unreliable narrator thing to consider. 

JARVIS, for instance, hasn’t trusted her since before she stabbed Tony in the neck, back in IM2. 

Add to that how he died trying to protect Tony [and at least managed to give a bit of a warning, when the Penthouse Incident happened], coming back online [with all the trauma that entails, even if he doesn’t quite show it], to see Natasha doing absolutely nothing while Tony was a flick of the wrist from a snapped neck, and you get a budding Skynet who harbors absolutely no goodwill towards Natasha Romanov [and it shows through in his POV, even if it’s hopefully subtle].

Tony’s slightly more chill, but he’s known that Natasha doesn’t like him, and after the disaster that was his sole attempt to reach out towards Bruce, well…once bitten, twice shy. 

Then, during the Penthouse Incident, he’s 50% on the defensive while the other 50% is in shock because JARVIS died and only Maria Hill even cared. [That he was being attacked was secondary, at that point.] So when someone’s attacking the only one who gives a damn about JARVIS, Tony’s not exactly feeling very charitable towards the woman who introduced herself as Natalie Rushman. 

…also, anyone notice the codependence going on between Tony and JARVIS? There’s a reason I’ve been warning for it.

As for my take on Natasha’s perspective: I did my best, and hopefully my dislike didn’t show [much]. 

Thing is, TWiFFON is a spitefic at heart.

I started it in reaction to the turn the fandom took when it comes to Tony Stark especially after Civil War, so I’m not going to be exactly very friendly towards Natasha [or anyone on Team Cap for that matter, if you guys haven’t already noticed]. 

And that leads me to the next point.

Fun fact: I actually like Natasha, for the most part. Her characterization throughout the entirety of the MCU’s been through the wringer, fluctuating from movie to movie, though, and I took advantage of that when I outlined this fic.

See, Phase1-and-pre-AoU!Natasha’s got a good head on her shoulders. Her, I like: she’s badass and loyal to people rather than institutions and ruthless enough to do what’s necessary to keep her people safe [gee doesn’t that sound familiar]. She’s outwitted Loki [even if he was under the influence of the Scepter at the time], and survived the Red Room, for crying out loud! [If you’ve read my fic idea Welcome to the Family, you know that’s the one I had in mind at the time of writing.]

…however, that’s not the Natasha we’ve seen recently.

Phase2-especially-post-AoU!Natasha didn’t think to call the genius who’s company she infiltrated during a time they could’ve really used his expertise, didn’t see the problem in letting the fugitives she’d been helping chase go, and didn’t think twice about attacking the Crown Prince of a monarchy that just lost its King. I know it’s probably just bad writing in general [where the hell did the Bruce/Natasha thing even come from? Or the wanting a kid thing?! Canon or not, that’s just…nope], but still.

She unironically tried to go “I’m not the one who should watch my back”, in Civil War, despite having painted a target on anyone she ever worked with [yes I’m still salty about it], so it really should be no surprise that this is the Natasha I have in mind when writing TWiFFON. [Not very nice, but like I said, spitefic.]

So, that’s a good chunk on my approach to Natasha, right there. The rest involves her backstory.

I’ve yet to read a comic, but via tumblr and Phase 1, I got the feeling that the Red Room isn’t exactly very kind. [No comment on Phase 2′s interpretation bc I hate AoU with a passion rivaled only by Civil War.] As such, I can extrapolate from there that Natasha’s had some hardcore training, and to be fair, she’s very good at what she does, and her confidence in her skills is mostly justified.

However, she’s been born and raised as a living weapon, a child soldier and spy: that skillset is not exactly conductive towards being an analyst, or tactician.

Infiltrate consulates and take out hit squads singlehandedly? Sure. Reading people for the short term so she can use that to her advantage? Absolutely. But what she gets up to later on in the MCU is nowhere in her job description [coughcough*analysisinIM2*cough]. She can make a decent facsimile of it, sure, but she just isn’t qualified to diagnose people [though I have a headcanon for that scenario that explains why, but that’s something for another post].

But she can read people very well, and since it’s worked thus far, Natasha doesn’t think twice about it. Due to the life she’s had, she doesn’t look back, which I completely understand because if she had she might’ve drowned in regret because I get the feeling the Red Room’s upbringing was nothing less than cutthroat. Those two things get a special mention because of how she’s introduced to Tony.

Now, let me backtrack a little: I’ve done some meta before on how good Tony is at masks, enough so that he’s fooling everyone even as he’s dying. He grew up in front of the cameras, and learned how to work them from a master of the art [his mom, in my AUs].

So, when a spy rocks up expecting a show, Tony puts it on, and Natasha buys it. I don’t doubt she twisted some things to suit the analysis at the end, of course, but between his public image and his masks, Natasha ends up falling in the same trap everyone else does.

Anyone who gets close to him knows it’s bull, but since Tony in TWiFFON is more guarded than ever before, and he’s not about to let Natasha in now.

As for Steve Rogers…Tony’s image is a general “everyone knows” thing; it’s subtle and low-key “oh what’s he done now? Another Fashion Week Fiasco?” Kardashian-style sort of thing, which is part of why Natasha fell for it. Steve’s image, on the other hand, was blatant propaganda since the start and only became more so over time […I wonder what the Second Red Scare would’ve looked like, in the MCU now, ngl], so for Natasha, with her Red Room upbringing, it’s pretty damn easy for her to tell. 

From when she first meets Steve, and later on down the road, it’s a no-brainer to look past the propaganda and notice the lonely man who’s adrift in a world that’s moved on without him. And from there, it’s very [almost scarily, for someone who’s very guarded when it comes to personal stuff] easy to make friends. 

Steve sees Natasha where others see the Black Widow, which isn’t something many people do [Phil and Clint’re the exception, not the norm], though, so it makes sense that she warms up to him so quickly. Plus he’s a good man, and given the life she’s had, Natasha can fully appreciate just how few of them there are in the world.

And since we’ve already established that Natasha’s fiercely protective of the few people she likes, it makes sense she’s just as fierce to attack if the situation ever arises.

During the Penthouse Incident, Natasha’s immediate take-away of the situation was: Tony’d fucked up somehow and needed to own up to it, meanwhile Maria Hill was on his payroll, defending him when he was in the wrong, and had a gun pointed in the general direction of the people she liked more than the people she didn’t. Of course Natasha was going to yell at her for it! 

And it wasn’t like Thor was going to hurt Tony or anything, his hand was obviously positioned in a way that was meant to be nonlethal and if he’d really wanted to kill Tony his grip would’ve been different.

After the fact, once Ultron’s made clear just what he is, she’s mildly apologetic about it. But since she didn’t really like Tony anyway and Maria Hill seemed to have forgotten about it, well, it wasn’t like it was anything major anyway, right?

...meanwhile, Maria’s very good at hiding her grudge and venting whenever she’s at one of the SWORD meet-ups while the others are patting her on the back while continuing to plan Phase 3 and checking out rich protocols, but that’s a story for another day.

Also: bear in mind that Natasha, in my AUs, has the Red Room’s version of the serum, so she forgets that not everyone’s as durable as she is. [that’s the only explanation for why I see her being so chill during That One Scene because the alternative’s incoherent internal screaming]

[nothingman]

When Alabama GOP Senate nominee Roy Moore was accused of sexually molesting children as young as 14, his fellow hardcore evangelicals shrugged at the scandal -- it was "common knowledge" that Moore had a fondness for young teens.

Moore isn't alone in liking very young girls as sexual partners. The grooming of children to marry adult men is a common practice in American evangelical circles, and infamous child-bride advocates are celebrated on the lecture circuit, especially among home schoolers.

These "courting" experts counsel parents to encourage their children to seek marriage with adult men, advocating for marriage in the "middle-teens."

It's a widespread view among the hard right evangelical world, mainstream enough that Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson has publicly advised his fans to marry 15- or 16-year-old girls, because "you wait until they get to be 20 years old, the only picking that's going to take place is your pocket." This view was defended by mainstream Republicans, and Robertson has continued to enjoy success in right-wing media, with a new show on CRTV.

Predictably, adult men who are caught having sex with children blame the children for "seducing" them, and in the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist sect, these children are forced to repent for having "sinned" by tempting adults to commit statutory rape, making public confessions to their congregations.

As a teenager, I attended a lecture on courtship by a home-school speaker who was popular at the time. He praised the idea of "early courtship" so the girl could be molded into the best possible helpmeet for her future husband. The girl's father was expected to direct her education after the courtship began so she could help her future husband in his work.

In retrospect, I understand what the speaker was really describing: Adult men selecting and grooming girls who were too young to have life experience. Another word for that is "predation."

Much of the sexual abuse that takes place in Independent Fundamentalist Baptist, or IFB, churches involves adult men targeting 14- to 16-year-old girls. If caught, the teenage victim may be forced to repent the "sin" of having seduced an adult man. Former IFB megachurch pastor Jack Schaap argued that he should be released from prison after being convicted of molesting a 16-year-old girl, asserting that the "aggressiveness" of his victim "inhibited [his] impulse control." In the wake of the Schaap case, numerous other stories emerged of sexual abuse cover-ups involving teenage girls at IFB churches. In another high-profile case, pregnant 15-year-old Tina Anderson, who was raped by a church deacon twice her age, was forced to confess her "sin" to the congregation.

Roy Moore's alleged pursuit of a young girl is the symptom of a larger problem in evangelical circles [Kathryn Brightbill/LA Times]

(via Naked Capitalism)

The logic of Republican "trickle down" economics is that giving "job creators" more money per hour worked incentivizes them to keep working, and thus creating more jobs.

Former Democratic National Committee Chairwoman Donna Brazile has published an excerpt from her forthcoming book, confessing that the scandal-haunted, disgraced former DNC chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz "let Clinton's headquarters in Brooklyn [manage the Democratic Party] it desired so she didn't have to inform the party officers how bad the situation was."

The programs Obama established to retrain coal miners are going begging in Pennsylvania, undersubscribed because the out-of-work miners they were established to help are convinced that Donald Trump wasn't bullshitting when he promised to bring back coal.

You can definitely increase the breadth of your vocabulary over time by reading constantly, and you’ll probably even get a bit faster if you do it long enough. But there’s a more streamlined way to become a better reader: Vocab1 and 7 Speed Reading EX. These two apps can vastly improve your abilities without sacrificing […]

Lurking just beneath Microsoft Excel’s instantly understandable spreadsheet surface is a world of robust automation tools. Visual Basic for Applications allows you to perform complex data processing, and you can harness its power with this Microsoft VBA Bundle, available now in the Boing Boing Store for $29.99. This duo of in-depth courses will teach you […]

You don’t necessarily need advanced graphics programming skills to create immersive VR — just an AppGameKit license. To get you started with this beginner-friendly game development environment, we are offering the Complete AppGameKit VR Starter’s Kit in the Boing Boing Store for $29.99. AppGameKit makes it easy to build all kinds of games, from retro […]

via Boing Boing

[jaketheaudiophile]

Best Albums of 2019

Well hello there! Long time, no see.

In keeping up with my lazy past tactics, I really only use this blog for end-of-the-year recaps anymore, which I’m completely fine with. I still listen to music as much as I always have, but have lost the desire to constantly write about it. I guess this is adulthood, or having a “real job” or something.

Either way, here are my top 15 albums of 2019. What were yours?

HONORABLE MENTION

DELTA SLEEP: “Younger Years” EP

released September 27 via Big Scary Monsters

Delta Sleep completely surprised everyone this year by releasing this EP without any prior announcement or notice. No teaser tracks, no hints at studio time, just completely out of the blue. Props to these British math-rock legends for their secrecy; it was certainly a fun thing to wake up and see all over social media on a random Saturday in September. These guys definitely have a formula or format they stick to on their releases, so this is more of the same for longtime fans, and that’s largely a good thing. I still think they tend to rely on filler tracks or noise too frequently, but the good definitely outweighs the bad. This was easily my favorite EP of 2019 and is definitely worth mentioning for this list.

#15

UNWED SAILOR: “Heavy Age”

released May 3 via Current Taste / Johnathan Ford

Man, was I really looking forward to this one. My favorite band releasing their first full-length album in 11 years? And their first new music in 6 years in general? What could go wrong? Not much, to be honest, but I felt overall underwhelmed with “Heavy Age”. Most of the songs run together or could use editing instead of just repeating passes ad naseum. Also, the 13-minute-plus album closer “When You Want Me There” is largely meandering and pointless. Still, I love Johnathan Ford and his merry band of musicians for a reason, and there are definitely quality songs and moments on this record. I worry that I might be including them here out of obligation, but it still was better than other records I left off my list this year. The band has also already announced another new record in 2020, and I’ll go into that with the same reckless abandon of excitement as I did this album.

#14

SOMOS: “Prison On A Hill”

released August 30 via Tiny Engines

I really, really, really wanted to love this record. Boston’s Somos had been teasing this album’s progress for over a year, and their previous releases have been some of my favorite pop and punk from the decade. I’m not always the biggest proponent of politically charged art, but Somos always did it in a way that was sensible and understated. Unfortunately, this album’s release came prematurely due to tragic passing of guitarist Phil Haggerty. The band was able to put out the album earlier than anticipated with all funding going to Haggerty’s funeral expenses and family, which was a wonderful move by record label Tiny Engines. The album doesn’t feel rushed or unfinished, but is a bit too muddled and all-over-the-place for my liking. Longtime drummer Evan Deges left the band prior to the recording of “Prison”, and Somos decided to go the route of programmed drums instead of a session musician or new band member. The result is sadly a bit soulless, although it does compliment some of the more electronic leans in the band’s sound as well. The truly sad thing is that this will most likely be the last release by this band per their social media and interviews post-release, and I wish that tragedy would not have struck them during a time of a seemingly musical lack of focus. 

#13

COUNTERPARTS: “Nothing Left to Love”

released November 1 via Pure Noise Records

I’ve been a huge fan of these Canadian melodic hardcore mainstays for ages, but I wasn’t crazy about their last release, 2017′s “You’re Not You Anymore”. Two of my favorite members (drummer Kelly Bilal and guitarist Jesse Doreen) quit the band right before it came out, and the resulting record felt unpolished and rushed. Thankfully, a bit more seasoning for the new members on the road and in the studio seems to have worked wonders, as “Nothing Left to Love” is back on the quality path for these bruisers. I’ve always adored vocalist Brendan Murphy’s delivery, and it’s legit stunning that he still has a throat after years of brutal barking, let alone how good it sounds on this release. Additionally, the band has a clever skill of interweaving cool triplets or other rhythms and complex structures underneath otherwise traditional breakdowns or song structures, which puts them in rarified air in a traditionally by-the-numbers genre. All this said, the title track / album closer sort of ruins the album for me. It’s essentially an unnecessary clean, polished filler track and feels tacked on to extend the length of the record, and I almost always skip it. Still, it was excellent to hear these guys back on their game, and I’m excited to see where they go from here.

#12

STATE FAULTS: “Clairvoyant”

released June 21 via No Sleep Records

I can’t say that this is the most original record I’ve ever heard. Anyone who is a fan of Deafheaven or any similar noisy / thrashy metal outfits will certainly find this sound familiar. However, it’s done with an unabashed energy and brutality alongside a sincerity that is truly refreshing. There’s a fascinating rawness to both Johnny Andrew’s shrieking vocals and the utter cacophony his bandmates whip up throughout their songs. The dedication to melody throughout everything also makes the songs memorable. This album caught me completely out of nowhere via an Anthony Fantano shoutout and resonated in all its ugly glory.

#11

KING GIZZARD AND THE LIZARD WIZARD: “Fishing For Fishies”

released April 26 via Flightless Records / ATO Records

Speaking of the Internet’s Busiest Music Nerd, I first heard of these Australian weirdos thru the Needle Drop’s channel, but didn’t really fully deep dive into their prolific catalogue until this year. The fact that they released 2 full-length albums in 2019 is impressive enough (let alone releasing FIVE in 2017), but it’s jaw-dropping that the two most recent efforts are on complete opposite ends in terms of sound and genre. I personally prefer the blues-rock goodness of “Fishies” to the thrash-metal leanings of “Infest The Rat’s Nest”, but unending respect to these dudes for managing to pull both off convincingly. . The album closer “Cyboogie” is a bit too overlong and bizarre for me, but it works as a nice transition to the concepts the band bring out for “Infest The Rat’s Nest”, so I get where they are coming from. This album has some of the most infectious grooves and blues guitar riffs I’ve heard while passing along a necessary message on environmental concerns and conservationalism. The serious bits aren’t require, though, and it’s certainly plenty of fun to kick out the jams and enjoy the ride.

#10

INFANT ANNIHILATOR: “The Battle of Yaldabaoth”

Self-released by the band on September 11

Ok, ok...I get it. Most people will dismiss these grindcore hooligans as an internet joke band. That’s really what I went into this record expecting: Absurd lyrics, hilarious-yet-impressive vocals, blistering blastbeats, etc. I was instead greeted by one of the impressive and intricate technical death metal albums I’ve experienced. Vocalist Dickie Allen truly outdoes himself with his quite frankly ridiculous vocal range, but Eddie Pickard truly deserves credit for the album’s newfound ventures. His guitar and bass work is over-the-top but mesmerizing, and the riffs and structures he crafts here are all sorts of brilliant. As funny as it feels to type out, this band really needs to be taken seriously, or at the very least should be commended for leaning into the joke and delivering something complex, disgusting and awe-inspiring.

#9

JIMMY EAT WORLD: “Surviving”

released October 18 via Exotic Location and RCA Records

Speaking of things I didn’t see coming this year...I adore Jimmy Eat World. “Clarity” is one of my favorite albums of all time, but I’ve largely fallen off keeping up with the band’s recent releases. Some good friends (+realfriends) talked up their latest and 10th release, “Surviving”, so I picked it up out of curiosity and was stunned at how competent and compelling it is. I even love the song with no obvious guitars or drums that I would have probably normally panned as a grab at radio airplay (”555″), and generally find the album to be completely badass. Kudos to JEW for proving they still belong in the upper echelon of emo and rock.

#8

THE GET UP KIDS: “Problems”

released May 10 via Polyvinyl Record Co.

...speaking of comeback records...well, maybe that’s not quite accurate, but this was another surprise from a band I grew up loving that had largely lapses in my regular rotation. I guess 2019 had a theme of revisiting bands of my youth due to them reforming, doing anniversary tours, or releasing new music for the first time in ages. The Get Up Kids fly back to the heights of old with a manic punk barrage of joy. It’s probably my fault for not keeping tabs on these guys, but this record is gutsy and charming and lovely. It’s not really reinventing the wheel, but GUK basically constructed the wheel to begin with, so we really owe them more credit all around. 

#7

BARS OF GOLD: “Shelters”

released April 12 via Equal Vision Records

Bars of Gold have been an enigma of sorts throughout their existence. Largely well-known due to rising from the ashes of indie / screamo miasma BEARVSSHARK, the band is content to rest on their laurels and release music and play shows whenever they feel like it, largely due to family and other commitments. This leaves fans like me tripping over their own feet whenever something does come out. The Michiganders truly feel like a group of dads finding the one day a month when they all have a free evening to plug in their guitars and whip up some chaos, and it’s always fun to see the results. Marc Paffi has also always been one of my favorite vocalists, so the opportunity to hear his wacky lyrics and throat is always cherished. Here’s hoping we don’t need to wait 5 or so years for another album, but patience has been rewarded with these guys. 

#6

ORIGAMI ANGEL: “Somewhere City”

released November 15th via Chatterbot Records

Props to my buddy Steve Lee for turning me on to this band (as well as 2 others in my top 5). Origami Angel are one of those bands that defies logic: “How can two dudes make so much noise?”, “How can he play guitar like that while singing?”, “How did these guys put out one of the best indie rock records of the year seemingly out of nowhere?”, etc. Regardless of any questions, I was floored by this album and it was definitely the band I listened to the most for the last part of the year. It’s catchy, diverse, well-rounded and doesn’t overstay its welcome by being just under 30 minutes long with all the fat trimmed off. What more could you want?

#5

PEDRO THE LION: “Phoenix”

released January 18 via Polyvinyl Record Co.

I had a strange moment at some point this year where I found a YouTube video of David Bazan performing a song from Pedro The Lion’s first release (2001′s It’s Hard To Find a Friend”). I was struck by how different his voice sounded nearly 2 decades later thanks to touring and life in general. It certainly was not a bad change, but just one that struck me as a sign of the passage of time. That sort of nostalgia and reflection is all over “Phoenix”, which is largely Bazan dusting off his childhood diary and describing memories of his hometown, tales of school, church, regret, family, plans and tragedies. It’s a celebration of memories, lessons learned and where one comes from, and Bazan’s direct delivery and brilliant-yet-understated lyrics paint perfect pictures. Hopefully it doesn’t take us over a decade for another Pedro release, but Bazan and company cement their status as songwriters and storytellers with this release.

#4

PUP: “Morbid Stuff”

released April 5 via Rise Records and Little Dipper

PUP was a new phenomenon for me this year. These Canadian rockers are full of piss and vinegar, supercharging a sound that is simultaneously infectious and off-putting in the best possible way. They take a genre that can be same-y and repetitive and inject a lesser band’s whole back-catalogues’ worth of creativity and energy, leaving the listener enthralled and endlessly guessing what will happen next. Vocalist Stefan Babcock takes some getting used to, but his permanent-sneer delivery and slam poetry has a charm that compliments his playful and honest lyrics. However, it’s the moments where he busts out of his speak-singing or general hollering to delivery a super catchy hook or chorus that truly put him at another level and proves PUP to be one of the most exciting things to happen in the punk and rock genre.

#3

MASKED INTRUDER: “III”

released March 1 via Pure Noise Records

With the exception of Unwed Sailor, this was my most anticipated record of 2019. Masked Intruder is one of those bands I listen to constantly. I usually default to putting my iTunes or Spotify on shuffle, and find it always makes me happier. For “III” the band hotwired their usual fun, tongue-in-cheek poperpop and craft a pretty perfect record in the process. Previous MI albums had a skippable track here and there, but this one is all killer, no filler. I’ve always adored the underlying Motown or doo-wop foundations in their songwriting and vocal harmonies, which add a timeless throwback quality to their song structures. The heart-on-sleeve lonely lyrics and constant references to petty crimes and best-laid plans are the icing on the top of this sugary musical sundae. It might be irreverent and occasionally basic, but sometimes that is all I wanted in music, and these guys delivered it in spades with this record.

#2

FREE THROW: “What’s Past is Prologue”

released March 29 via Triple Crown Records

From the opposite end of the emotional spectrum, Nashville’s Free Throw released a quality emo record that doesn’t focus on pining for lost loves or revisiting relationship heartbreak and instead dives into one’s personal mental health and well-being. Props to vocalist Cory Castro and the rest of the band for completely baring all and channeling their honesty into this powerhouse album. However, there’s also plenty of diversity in the band’s sound and delivery. No song really sounds like the next, largely thanks to the band employing 3 guitar players who rarely play the same thing as each other. Some emo staples are here, though, such as frenetic drumming, clever tapping riffs, and stripped down moments with just a guitar and Castro’s vocals. All in all, this record makes you feel better about yourself and truly feels like the band came to the same conclusion while making it, which is gargantuan. When Castro belts out “TODAY I FINALLY LEARNED TO SAY I LOVE MYSELF” towards the end of the album-closing title track, you can’t help but root for him in his own journey towards mental health, but to not feel inspiring to do the same for yourself. It will encourage and inspire you, and feels deeply personal and universal all at the same time. 

#1

SNOOZE: “Familiaris”

Self-released by the band on May 3

There were so many times during this past year where I’d be driving, doing chores, at the gym or doing some sort of menial task where I’d decide to put on music and stop myself short of putting on this record again. I’d say “OK, you have to listen to something else besides the Snooze album. You’re doing to get sick of it if you keep listening to it this much. We don’t want that to happen.” Despite these odd concerns, I can say that this truly never happened. This album is effortlessly relistenable to me and has become my anti-depressant. I can’t help but feel charged up on happiness and charm while this is playing. It’s so chock full of killer vocal harmonies, clever yet crazy guitar riffs, well-restrained double-bass fills and brilliant song arrangements. It’s also a cyclical record, meaning one song runs right into the next and the end of the album theoretically plays right into the start, which makes turning it off quite difficult indeed. Add to all this the fact that it’s a concept album about how amazing dogs are, and you’re left with a spellbinding listening experience. This is one of the best records I’ve heard this decade, let alone this year, and essentially locked its place as my album of the year during my first playthru. Well done, Snooze. Who’s a good boy?

[savetopnow]

2018-03-22 01 MUSIC now

MUSIC

Brooklyn Vegan

stream Yamantaka // Sonic Titan's new album 'Dirt'

Bruce Springsteen extends Broadway run through December

Lollapalooza 2018 lineup (Jack White, Arctic Monkeys, The National, Vampire Weekend, St Vincent, more)

stand-up show Whiplash moving from UCB to Union Hall

watch Father Murphy's video for a medley of pieces from their final album

Consquence of Sound

King Tuff recruits Jenny Lewis for soulful new single “Thru the Cracks”: Stream

Sting and Shaggy to perform concert for Queen Elizabeth II

Ranking: Every Wes Anderson Movie from Worst to Best

Lollapalooza reveals 2018 lineup: Jack White, Arctic Monkeys, Vampire Weekend among highlights

Saba contemplates mortality on new song “Life”: Stream

Fact Magazine

Django Django – Against The Clock

Boxed releases free five year anniversary compilation

Singles Club: Burial and The Bug start a dirty dub fire as Flame 1

Blawan announces debut album, Wet Will Always Dry

London’s Southbank Centre launches new club night, Concrete Lates

Fluxblog

I Loved And I Lost

Very Nice Very Nice

To Be Lucky Once

The Sun In Your Cold World

Took Me For A Ride

Idolator

Lost Hit: Demi Lovato’s “Wildfire” Should Have Been A Single

Dua Lipa Performs “IDGAF” & “New Rules” On ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’

Fashionable Queen: Britney Spears Announces New Brand Deal With Kenzo

Kelly Clarkson Overcomes Her Past In Her “I Don’t Think About You” Video

Coming Soon: Shawn Mendes Teams Up With Spotify To Tease New Music

Listen to This

Born Without Bones - Rough Terrain [indie rock] 2013

Paus -- Madeira [Alternative Rock] (2018)

Nichts - Tango 2000 [New Wave] (1982)

The Equatics - Merry Go Round [Chilled Soul]

Rosin Coven -- Magpies [dark cabaret/jazz]

Popjustice

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Louisa Johnson interview: “We went, ‘oh, fuck it, let’s just get drunk’”

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Reddit Music

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The Hollies - Air that I breathe [Pop/Rock]

Death - Symbolic [Metal] Happy Birthday Symbolic!

7 Seconds - 99 Red Balloons[old school hardcore punk]

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Watch Camila Cabello Wield Electric Guitar in 'Never Be the Same' on 'Ellen'

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Spotify Blog

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[joneswilliam72]

The 405 Meets Korea's Drinking Boys & Girls Choir: On the challenges of finding hard rockin' indie success in a K-pop world + Song Premiere

Drinking Boys and Girls Choir are an anomaly. The band hails from Daegu, South Korea, and even more unlikely genesis for an indie rock band than their pals and labelmates, Say Sue Me. Busan may be a world away, but offers its beaches and energetic club scene. Daegu, by comparison, is mostly know for being hot, with the highest temperatures in the country.

Yet, succeed DB&GC have, signing with Damnably preparing to bring their debut album, Keep Drinking!!, to audiences worldwide come this March. It hasn't been an easy road. The band formed as drummers and eventual members MJ and Meena met, with Meena taking on bass duties, and Bondu, returning from military service, answered their ad and became guitarist, and Drinking Boys and Girls Choir was born.

So, recording for Keep Drinking!! began all the way back in 2017, yet as MJ suffered a grave motorbike accident, the band took a hiatus for her recovery. As she healed, so did the band, and the album soon to fall into our hands was quickly, energetically born.

It's no surprise, then, that Drinking Boys and Girls Choir play like a band without time to waste. Their songs are beyond economical, nearly pure raucous energy and bombast, a rather heavier offering for anyone expecting more of Say Sue Me's more gently earnest surf rock.

Rather, DB&GC are far more influenced by NOFX and their own hometown's 90s-00s hardcore punk bands, and it shows in the burst of raw energy that is Keep Drinking!!.

The album arrives March 8th, via Damnably, and you can catch them live at SXSW this year. Prepare your bones and get excited with both a new song, 'Just Fucking Me', which The 405 is pleased to premiere, as well as a quick Q&A with the band below.

드링킹소년소녀합창단 Drinking Boys and Girls Choir - Keep Drinking by Drinking Boys and Girls Choir

So just to start
 off with, what do you feel are some of the challenges you’ve faced being a band in South Korea?

I guess it is not just in Korea but meeting good band members is a real pain. A friend of mine said (on Facebook) that, ‘People say we can only meet members for our lives by God’s blessing. If I can meet God, I want to punch Him.” (Because he couldn’t find a good drummer for a long time). (Laughs)

Was it challenging finding an audience in a K-pop obsessed nation?

Oh! Sure. So we don’t expect to be a full time musician. We have money jobs. Not many punk bands here earn enough money for living.

What was your first great fan interaction / when you felt like you just might make it?

When we started DBGC in Daegu there was a moshing crew called ‘999family’. They were really supportive and they gave us such a positive energy. And when we went on a tour to Indonesia recently, a fan of ours sang along in Korean and it was really impressive and moving.

How did you guys link up with 999family in the beginning?

999family’s founder likes ska, punk, hardcore. And just coincidentally existed at the same time.




Do the foreigners staying and teaching in Korea support you guys? I know Say Sue Me have an expat fanbase in Busan.

Sure! We met a lot of good people from different countries. I would like to thank our friend Phil from Ireland who’s working for Angle magazine. He’s a good planner, promoter and a founder. We want to say thanks to Cindi for helping us writing lyrics and words in English. A friend from California felt happier than us when SXSW announced to have us.

Who are your biggest musical influences?

Definitely Crying Nut, a very famous Punk rock band in Korea. And we got influenced by bands like ...Whatever That Means, Billy Carter and so on. We also like Japanese bands like Dust Box or Hi-standard.

Growing up, who did you listen to / what band or artist kind of introduced you to punk and rock and roll?

In 90's Korea, punk bands like Crying Nut, LazyBone, and No Brain were so popular that we could easily listen to Punk music on the TV or radio. Later, MJ and Meena were sharing a band studio, there was so many older friends and they introduced us to some good music. We also listened to the radio and we started using streaming medias as well.

When I was working
 in Korea, I’d show my older students music, some Radiohead, Miles Davis, David Bowie, whatever - and their reaction would often be “we didn’t even
 know
 music like this existed” - I feel like it’s harder to even be exposed to “different” music in Korea - when you were younger how did you first begin to find music that truly spoke to you?

Ah? Who doesn’t know Radiohead, Miles Davis, David Bowie? (Laughs) Before I was born, my mom already had copies of the Queen, the Velvet Underground and other world famous rock bands’ albums and I still listen to them.

All that said, are there K-pop artists you genuinely like? How do you feel about that scene?

We really like IU, BOA, Girl’s generation, Wonder Girls, and HOT.

When you first starting out, what was the musical scene in Daegu like? How was it there for you?

It’s not big here but we got a good relationship. We are not divided by genre and we support each other. There comes and go but still there are some support crews.

I've read how the local punk scene in Daegu influenced you, can you tell a bit about some of the bands and the history there?

Um.. the Daegu Punk scene is not big. A band is here named Geuk-Ryul (극렬) , they are a big brother of the punk scene in Daegu. 10 years ago they were really active, we did 'Wednesday show' on every Wednesday, and online radio program, and made a Street show together. but suddenly they were disappear. After that time I moved to other city and I don't know. In 2012 I back to Daegu and met MJ again and organized DBGC.

Are you all originally from Daegu? What was it like growing up there?

Meena was born and grew up in Daegu, MJ was born in Pohang but when she was young moved to Daegu and grew up here. Bondu, he was born and grew up in Chilgok, a small city around Daegu. And he moved to Daegu to go to university.

I know it’s not really a “question”, but could you tell a bit of the story about how you guys met?

MJ and I met in 2008. We belonged in each other teams as drummers. We wanted make a ‘girl band’, so Meena changed to bass and a girl guitarist joined but that band broke up very quickly. The band's name was ‘Chicken mayo ABC’. Then I moved to another city and MJ still wanted to form a punk band. So she posted on her university's online board, the title was “ Let’s do rock band!!” and Bondu replied to MJ. And then I came back to Daegu, and MJ introduced Bondu to me.

For Bondu, how was it returning from military life to play in a band? I can’t imagine! I was always sad when my friends had to go do their 2 years in the army while I was in Busan.

Not for just band, I was really happy because I could do what I wanted to. Military duty service is fuck.

MJ: No more than you feel comfortable doing, but did getting back into making the album help your recovery at all after the accident? I’m sure that was a really hard time for you, and all of you.

I am not that person kind of concern everything even I can't control it but just give up, so the recovery process was not that hard for me.(If I could never get back to drumming, it could be very sad but I might think it can't be helped and found other things.) But I didn't want to rush only because we release the album, so I took the time for my rehabilitation and practicing the drums very calmly and carefully. I had the members who waiting me so I had little bit accelerated but I guess it is quite lucky that I had enough time to take rest and get back much more strong figure in both physically and mentally.

Have you played a lot in other cities around Korea?

Sure. Korea is small and we can play around at a day from a city to another city. We’ve played in Seoul, Busan, Gwangju, Ulsan, Jeju, Cheongju, and Ulleungdo.

How would you describe your sound?

Fast, melodic and fun.

What are your biggest dreams moving forward?

We don’t have big dreams. We don’t know what’s going on in our future. We could die tomorrow. Every morning I’m happy because I wake up. For now, I just want to have a good time at SXSW and break our legs in the UK tour.

Where would you most like to tour?

Indonesia again. It was fucking good and unforgettable. I felt our tour mates ‘SNK’ as my family members. Of course we’d love to visit some other countries, too.

Can you talk about how you chose your band name?

We met winter in 2012, and started practice together in December. After a few months we wanted to first play so we did applied to rock band competition , that was one of a program in festival of university of MJ and Bondu. So, we needed a name but we couldn’t make a decision, so listed up what we like words and then attached together. That’s all. (Laughs)




I often heard Korea drinks more than any other country - I certainly had a lot of soju when I was there. How did you decide to name your band after drinking? / How much does drinking actually influence your music/lives?

I think the best way to become friends with someone is drinking. We love drinking. We’ve been drinking together and having great times since we met when we were students. We drank a lot, we had fun a lot. It’s a good memory which still bond us together. We love afterparties drinking with bands we played with. We decide what to drink depends on the food goes together. We usually drink soju but we like to drink beer with pizza or fried chicken.

Do you have any interest in writing songs in English? Naturally there's always a bit of unfair and annoying pressure towards foreign bands touring in English-speaking countries.

I prefer to sing mainly in Korean. Sometimes if I have a idea in English I write in English. I think language is not important. We are Korean so we sing in Korean. When I was young I couldn’t understand about pop songs but I liked it.

What’s your favorite memory from a show you played thus far?

Once we were on an Indonesian tour, our gig got cancelled because of the police. They pounced on our visas. It was the hometown of our tour mates SNK, and the members were sorry for us and the bassist even cried for us. They made a secret show for us and it was at some studio at midnight. It was late and we hadn’t had a chance to promote the show that we didn’t expect it would be crowed but all the audience people from the cancelled gig came and enjoyed our gig. We felt them and it was really moving.

Why did the Indonesian police give you guys such a hard time?

After our first show in Indonesia we stuck in the venue for over a hour. A police man never stopped speaking in Indonesian but we couldn’t understand and didn’t know what happened. So it was frustrating. After we were released we heard from Prabu (who is the guitarist and singer in Saturday Night Karaoke) about the reasons. It wasn’t our fault but at that time we couldn’t do anything. And at the 4th city in Bandung, the venue was outside, maybe we did our rehearsal in prayer time, or not, or no reason, anyway: police saw us and stopped our show. SNK members were really angry because there was no reasonable reason. Before leaving there, SNK did a jam singing “fuck the police”. That was really awesome and it was impressive. And then they made a secret show for us, so we could keep touring.

What inspired that
 amazing cover art? Is there a reason behind each piece of it (say, the snake) or is more random?

The cover was drawn by our bassist’s partner ‘Pallo’. He designed our logo, sticker and the jacket of our first EP. Every object he draws has its own meaning but he said it’s just meanings he gave and he wants people understand as they feel.

What sounds are you interested in exploring moving forward?

Faster, tighter, more powerful but lyrical.

For such a joyously ferocious band, would you ever be
 interested in trying a “slower” record, or would that feel like going against your core ethos?

We have thought about slow music or a concept or slowness but we are too lazy to try something different. We listen to many different genres of music and try to express in some different ways too but after we complete any new songs, only fast songs are there.

Look out for Keep Drinking!! come March 8th via Damnably, and catch Drinking Boys and Girls Choir live in Austin at SXSW.

from The 405 https://ift.tt/2IvZsl7

[savetopnow]

2018-03-21 22 MUSIC now

MUSIC

Brooklyn Vegan

Descendents & The Bosstones play a NJ Beer Fest this weekend

What's going on Wednesday?

7Seconds break up

tours announced: Neurosis/Converge, Courtney Barnett/Waxahatchee, more

Polaris winner Lido Pimienta played SXSW, playing free BRIC fest, touring (dates, pics)

Consquence of Sound

Drummer Matt Helders tells fan that Arctic Monkeys’ new album will be released in May

Neurosis and Converge reunite for North American tour dates

Film Review: Unsane is Full of Unsettling B-Movie Shocks From Top to Bottom

Glassio share the Origins of their yearning new single, “Back for More”: Stream

Courtney Barnett’s new album features The Breeders, plus new tour dates announced

Fact Magazine

Boxed releases free five year anniversary compilation

Singles Club: Burial and The Bug start a dirty dub fire as Flame 1

Blawan announces debut album, Wet Will Always Dry

London’s Southbank Centre launches new club night, Concrete Lates

FACT mix 644: Susanna

Fluxblog

I Loved And I Lost

Very Nice Very Nice

To Be Lucky Once

The Sun In Your Cold World

Took Me For A Ride

Idolator

Dua Lipa Performs “IDGAF” & “New Rules” On ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’

Fashionable Queen: Britney Spears Announces New Brand Deal With Kenzo

Kelly Clarkson Overcomes Her Past In Her “I Don’t Think About You” Video

Coming Soon: Shawn Mendes Teams Up With Spotify To Tease New Music

These Are The Absolute Best Songs Ever Made For Movies

Listen to This

Rosin Coven -- Magpies [dark cabaret/jazz]

BlueGem - Dead Quiet [Punk Rock] (2013)

・・・・・・・・・ - 「 」[Shoegaze] (2018)

Big Black Delta — Side of the Road [Electronic/Synthpop] (2013)

Elder -- Dead Roots Stirring [Stoner Metal, Prog Rock] (2011)

Popjustice

Saluting the artwork for PRETTYMUCH’s Healthy

Louisa Johnson interview: “We went, ‘oh, fuck it, let’s just get drunk’”

Popjustice’s Spring Statement: Key Points

New Music Friday: Vera Blue’s Lady Powers are still strong

New Music Friday: When it’s time to put Andrew WK at the top of the playlist it’s time to put Andrew WK at the top of the playlist hard

Reddit Music

Several months ago there was a concert at the Hollywood Bowl to celebrate Chester Bennington's life. Today is his birthday.

Barenaked Ladies - Pinch Me [Alt. Rock]

Dance Gavin Dance - Betrayed By The Game (Official Music Video) [Experimental Rock/Post-Hardcore]

Naked Eyes - Always Something There to Remind Me [80's Pop] (1983)

My Bloody Valentine - Sometimes [Shoegaze]

Rolling Stone

Watch Glenn Tipton Rejoin Judas Priest at Newark Concert

YouTube Removes CupcakKe Videos for 'Nudity, Sexual Content'

Watch Hinds Stage Ski Resort Takeover in 'The Club' Video

Hear Flatbush Zombies Tackle Mental Illness, Addiction on New Song 'U&I'

'The Voice': See Intense Taylor Swift, Harry Styles Covers in Battle Round

Slipped Disc

Biz news: LA Phil chief takes a second job

What a Vienna Philharmonic concertmaster really likes

Hilary Hahn has played 1,594 concerts

A New Yorker wins Leipzig’s Bach medal

Covent Garden quietly drops two commissions

Spotify Blog

Spotify Launches ‘Louder Together’ with First Multi-Artist Spotify Single Collaboration from Independent Stars Sasha Sloan, Nina Nesbitt and Charlotte Lawrence

Spotify Launches Self-Serve Advertising Platform in the UK and Canada

Spotify Announces Launch of Line-In

John Hancock and Spotify Give Runners Everywhere Access to Custom Playlists and Tips from Some of the World’s Fastest Marathoners

Spotify Kicks off Women’s History Month with the Launch of ‘Amplify,’ a New Hub Spotlighting Causes & Community Voices

We Are the Music Makers

Where to find drum samples

As a one-man band (heavy metal), should I learn all instruments simultaneously or one at a time?

How does the loudness add up (clipping drums issue)

DEADMAU5 style plucks tutorial with massive

Deleting Facebook page(s)?