#“Pigeon” i hear you cry “This looks exactly the same” and yeah I did warn you

[ahollowgrave]

L'APPEL DU VIDE

Mateus | Mists | W24 P29

The house Odette's great-aunt left her. Not in the mists in-character, but still cradled on the coast of Vylbrand on a decent plot of land. Most of the house remains closed off, in various states of abandonment, but the wing Odette does occupy is kept tidy. She has certainly added her own touches and has claimed an attic bedroom for her own. If you swing by for a visit please leave a message! And mind the shadows.

[buildmeanenvironment]

Oh. Here I am. It’s late October, and I’m listening to my friend’s music and working. It’s dark outside. She’s dying her hair in my bathroom. My roommate is doing a puzzle on the floor, but she goes to help get the back even. I can hear them talking about hair colors and old memes. It’s gotten dark outside but we forgot to close the blinds, the lamp reflecting small pools in the plum sky, and I just did laundry, folding the towels into crisp corners. Hey, remember when this was all we wanted? When did growing up mean losing all the people you used to want to grow old with?

Remember when we thought building a home was the answer? We were right. I want to cry. It’s not your home, but I put up these string lights. I went to Trader Joes and I bought these marigolds, trimmed their stems, put them into old jars. I did that with these hands you held, once.

I steady myself on the counter, stuck in time, my mouth full of ice. I know this is what I wanted. I know it is better than anything else. I’ve arrived. I feel settled, and at the same time like nothing can be right because none of the people sitting around me are the people I imagined. Here is my future, but I’m so fucking sad. Why does everyone have to leave? I get up in the middle of the night, stand in my bathroom and let myself be a little afraid of losing them, too. I don’t want to lose these friends, this family, but I wish I could go back in time and warn myself. Warn myself to save you. Warn myself to hold on. Warn myself to learn to say goodbye.

I feel like I’m writing my own story, finally. I woke up at 8 pm the other day and went to buy ice cream at CVS with that friend, you know the one I wanted to get closer to but I thought she was too cool for me? Yeah, we hang out now. It was really okay, in the end. She thought I was cool too, just like you said she would. Autumn shivers at my green sweater sleeves, city lights blurring purple and pink underfoot. I smile at her in the dark, and it is coming awake after a realistic dream, realizing all at once you’re in the real world now, safe. Cognitive dissonance makes my head hurt. I can’t mourn something I just imagined having. Just wrote a letter when I was fourteen to someone across the world who I thought was my future, and now I’m in CVS experiencing it with someone else, and I don’t think you actually care. It’s so unfair. But I’m still so sad. But my heart is still breaking.

I can’t help scrolling down to your name in my contacts, knowing my friends would love you, aching for a future that looks exactly like the present but my knee is resting against your’s. Hey, I’ve built that future we wrote poems about. Hey, I still miss you. Hey, do you think of me sometimes?

I was sitting outside eating breakfast and feeding the pigeons yesterday, and I shut my eyes against the sun, and I instinctively reached for the ring you gave me, the one I used to wear every single day, and then it wasn’t there. You aren’t here.

Do you think of me? Are you building your own version of the life we promised to give to each other? Does it make you sad I’m not in it? 

I don’t know how to not miss you when I’m happy.

10.23.22

[judyhopps934-mt-zd]

Thoughts on Miraculous New York: United Heroez

Warning: Spoilers! I am back! Also, this is my 700th post, so yay!

The new intro is so cool! I stan! Will it be the same for the Miraculous World Specials (ie. Shanghai)??

Mr. Pigeon? Akumatized for the 51st tims?!?!?!?! I thought he moved on from pigeons and went with rats?!?! (Timetagger anyone????)

The Spacesuits! So cool! (By the way, its the purple potion).

Ladybug and Chat Noir are very autonomous, trust connected from their bond, and super efficient! (You will see where this comes into play later on.) Ladybug could have not gotten a better partner than Chat and she says this herself.

The rose scene after defeating Mr. Pigeon! I loved it so much and its better than expected!

Oh Marinette, didn't you say you have moved on from Adrien? I think her heart has yet to catch up with her brain, which takes time. Time will tell...

Tikki is visibly annoyed with Marinette saying she will move on and yet act like she still has a crush on Adrien. First of all, that is the fandom's mood. Second of all, be patient. Time will tell...

The sock puppet film was adorable. And apparently famous in NY amongst the Queens students (thank you Zag for including another NYC borough!)

Miss Bustier is pregnant?!?!? Wait...IS SHE IS MARRIED?!?!?!? Whether she is married or is seeing someone, this is still shocking (unless her prefix in the French version is Mrs.)

Poor Mrs. Mendeleiev. The class was less than satisfied with her being their chaperone. I know she is not the fun teacher, but she still has feelings and I know she is a nice person. People tend to judge and despise teachers based on them being fun or not, which is unfair. But karma comes after the class since throughout the trip, she becomes the teacher they think she is. What? She could have been fun.

Lila was not welcome in New York to begin with. At least she won't be causing any problems on the trip (though I wish she went to Antarctica).

Marinette has done more for Adrien in this episode than in all three seasons when she promised him that she will find a way to convince Gabriel to go to New York. I guess her deciding that he is "just a friend" has allowed her to do more for him than beforehand.

But she still collects pictures of him, so we will keep quotations on "friend". Or we need to give her a break (Alya I am looking at you). We'll see as we go on.

I am happy Nathalie is alive, though I am not happy with the fact that she showed Gabriel the Eagle Talon Miraculous. And he plans to go to New York. And that this is the only reason he lets Adrien go to NY.

Speaking of which, the Miracu-class showed up to his place, with Marinette being the spokesperson to yell at Gabriel Agreste's freaking face. Good for you Marinette for fighting against Gabriel. Though you did not have to put up a long fight, which while shocking, is also worrisome.

Adrien was understandably sad to not be able to go to NY. Kagami seems happy about it though. Maybe too happy...

Yes, I know that Kagami and Adrien are potentially dating (Battle of the Miraculous ending anyone? *sobs in Adrienette stan*), but it still pains my Adrienette stan heart though when she kissed him.

Of course Chat Noir will be sad to see Ladybug go. But she brings this cute cat buzzer and seeing him play with the buzzer was adorable. Ladynoir anyone?

Adrien is stuck with this dilemma: NY or Ladybug? Poor sunshine boy was shocked to hear this news. He initially chose Ladybug and wanted to stay and alert Ladybug about the new situation, but Plagg was like "FREEDOM! GO AFTER IT! BESIDES, YOU CAN USE YOUR SPACESUIT TO RETURN TO PARIS IN THE EVENT OF AN AKUMA!" Seemed like a good plan...initially. (Plagg, I am after you...sorta).

Of course Marinette will miss the bus, but Luka?!?! They either trying to remind me of Miracle Queen or Luka is superhuman for being able to show up to her place and peddle so fast that they caught up with the bus. Pains my Adrienette heart once again to see her kiss him, but he does have a point about her needing some clarity in NY.

Then we have the plane scene. Poor Marinette was panicking over sitting next to Adrien (really now universe?!). There was more to the scene: from the AC trouble to the seat reclining at the wrong time to Adrien placing the luggage in the compartment (not in that order exactly). It was somewhat cringeworthy then seeing that Marinette went to swap seats with Mrs. Mendeleive (though she only did it when Alix whined).

Note to self: DO NOT SIT NEXT TO MR. DAMOCLES IN AN EIGHT HOUR FLIGHT. He is not very conscious about personal space as he took over Marinette's seat when he was asleep and woke Marinette up. And sleeping with a bucket of popcorn? Really?

If anyone has ever been on a plane, turbulence is common, and Marinette's experience with the Bathroom is very relatable. That's why I only go in an emergency.

Adrienette watching a sunrise! (Or sunset? They are not too clear on this, especially since they arrive at the hotel at night, but everyone was asleep on the plane). And get this: Adrien complimenting Marinette and hugging her tightly! (Just a friend now, huh sunshine boy?)

Alya and Nino are a mood when they say that they love their friends, but they wish that they could express their love to each other (Operation: New York).

Alya, did you really have to tell Marinette that NY is the city of love? Thank you for making her feel even nervous.

TechnoPirate and the United Heroez everyone! (By the way, Alya needs a chill pill because she was WAY too excited to be rescued by the United Heroez. And the Owl Mr. Damocles? Really?!)

Note to everyone who does not live in NYC: no, there is not a superhero for every job.

Ladybug and Chat Noir are exceptional superheroes, but Marinette and Adrien cannot open or walk through automatic doors, which is funny and kind of sad. Peoples, your saviors of Paris.

Sabrina has her own story peoples! She is given her own love interest from Astoria! I love them! And how he invited her to the rooftop party.

Alya, do you really have to tease her and Marinette at once. "Maybe you will make a "friend""

Aeon, I agree: Marinette and Adrien are made for each other. But you sound like Master Fu in Stoneheart. Are you secretly Master Fu???

The feeling is mutual Chloé. Marinette and Alya do not want to be your roommate as much as you don't want them to be yours. And I know you do not want to be there in the first place (my city is beautiful btw).But I am happy you did not rat them out for going to the rooftop party.

When they hid from Mrs. Mendeleive, Marinette and Adrien ended up in Jess(Sparrow) and Aeon(Uncanny Valley)'s room.

Magic hotdogs!

Remember the Hotdog Scene I posted over a week ago? That really was Adrienette and it was better than before, with them floating up and dancing to the song from Despair Bear! Yes! Best scene so far!

Doorman! I want him to be my college professor!

Okay, I know I am desperate to see Marinette and Adrien get together, but really Alya, Nino, Jess, and Aeon? Put them in DANGER?!?!? I cannot.

So Marinette and Adrien are put in danger and actual danger. Danger: Jess and Aeon simulating a dangerous situation. Actual Danger: Hawkmoth in New York having akumatized TechnoPirate and make him break into the museum to get the Eagle Talon. Oof.

Then where my Ladynoir heart wears off: Ladybug and Chat Noir seeing each other in NYC to save their civilian selves. They have seen Paris being destroyed by a sentimonster, with Chat supposed to be there and call Ladybug.

Uncanny Valley and Sparrow see Ladybug and Chat Noir in action and decide to be like them because they do not have that same freedom. Look, I feel them, but I still think they should have called for the United Heroez. Plus, cool transformations!

Remember the whole thing about "autonomous, trust formed by their bond, and super-efficiency"? Yeah, that was Sparrow saying that. But Ladybug and Chat Noir are now currently lacking the last two because of the whole "Chat you are supposed to be in Paris" ordeal. Well, you are generally right Sparrow, but now they have their own issues.

Of course, the new lack of trust (and Ladybug making her anger verbal) has affected their ability to fight TechnoPirate inefficient. So much Chat cannot defend himself and while trying to free himself...

HE CATACLYSMED UNCANNY VALLEY!!! This took a dark turn as this is the first time he cataclysmed a "person" (though she is an android, but still a person by standards. I mean Majestia was understandably very upset and I get it).

Majestia punching TechnoPirate into multiple NY buildings: woah.

Ladybug manages to fix everything, but two problems arise:

1. Knightowl wanted to take away their Miraculous and reveal their secret identities. They are now somewhat fugitives in their eyes for almost killing Uncanny Valley.

2. We see the limitations of Miraculous Ladybug. While Ladybug repaired NY, she was unable to repair Paris and the damage caused by the Robostus sentimonster. Which not only indicates that the Miraculous Ladybug cure only repairs the damage created by a specific villan, but that they have to be present. Here, there were too late.

Here is where my Ladynoir heart shatters: 1. Marinette sobs over how she was unable to repair Paris and felt horrible about how she failed them, and 2. Adrien renounced Plagg because of what happened to Uncanny Valley AND for disappointing Ladybug. Then, he runs off and Marinette sobs over losing Chat Noir. It was very sad that I wanted to cry.

I know this part is still very sad, but can I say that Tikki and Plagg are cute together in Marinette's purse? Poor timing? Moving on.

Aeon and Jess are disciplined by Majestia and Knightowl for disobeying their orders and for straying from their mission: protect the French class.

Are Majestia and Knightowl together in their civilian life? And Aeon and Jess are sisters?!?! I stan.

Here's the thing: I like how the special stayed true to this part of the Miraculous Comics. There, we find that Knightowl is a woman (which you can find out from this scene or at the end). And i just stan her relationship with Majestia.

Also, how dare the writers forget the Miraculous Comics! Sure, they might be different entities, but still: how dare they let the United Heroez forget about the power of the Miraculous Cure! I know that Chat Noir should be more careful about his cataclysm and Majestia has a right to be upset, but still: they had a deadly plan set in the comics to defeat a villan and called on Ladybug to cure the millions of dollars in damage. But hey, to each their own.

Also, somewhat unrelated, but Julerose appeared in the beginning and I am here for it!

Gabriel kidnapped TechnoPirate and akumatized him again while giving him the Eagle claw jewel to liberate people from their fears or other factors. Oof.

The kwami for the Eagle Miraculous is relatable. We would all wish we had our previous owner and fear about our power going into evil hands, right?

Now back to Adrien and Marinette, my heart breaks to see Adrien having to go back to Paris because Gabriel delcares NY as "too dangerous". YOU ARE THE FREAKING DANGER THOUGH! YOU MADE TECHNOPIRATE DANGEROUS AND RELEASED HIM FROM DANGER!

Marinette decides to go after him, but falls over from the bike she borrowed due to the rainwater as she begs him to stay.

And peoples, the moment we waited for three seasons (sorta): Marinette finally utters the words "I love you" when referring to Adrien. Too bad he got too far for him to hear her.

Also, who was going to get her off the road when she broke down? Is that her form of closure?

The United Heroez are now under the Liberty Eagle Miraculous' influence, which made them go haywire. Huh. So Jess and Aeon now have to save them with the help of the French Superheroes!

So Aeon was able to uncover that TechnoPirate is akumatized and using a Miraculous through her scanners. I stan her!

Also, she was able to recognize Marinette is Ladybug and Adrien is Chat Noir. And we have a reason to explain why everyone is blind: there is a quantum mechanism in the suits that makes them unrecognizable when compared to their civilian form in the eyes of humans. She can only figure out their identities since she is an AI android. So our theory about everyone having a reason to be blind is correct AND we can cut everyone else some slack. Please.

Marinette confessed that she needs Chat Noir. This was what we wanted to hear after all that has happened: what she said in the beginning, but now in the most genuine form. I have no words other than that this is heartwarming and heartbreaking.

Adrien was worried over Ladybug's disappointment, but Uncanny Valley is amazing in the sense that she recorded Marinette's genuine words, which inspired him to come back.

Plagg, you literally make light of everything. He literally made faces in front of Uncanny Valley because she can't see him. I can't.

Ladybug and Chat Noir's reunion healed and broke me. It was so emotional as Ladybug expresses how worried she was and how she missed him and Chat explaining while admitting his mistakes.

Time to take down TechnoPirate while using Doorman's powers to take the Eagle Talon and freeing everyone. The fight scenes are epic per usual, this one especially.

TechnoPirate counting down the time was alarming, but also funny as he makes light of it.

Hawkmoth, you would have been to blame for the World War III because of your ultimatum, not Ladybug and Chat Noir.

They missed the countdown, but Majestia stops the rocket and sends it to the sun. What the hell?! What if the sun exploded?!?!?!?! (I dunno? It was an atomic bomb for starters?)

So TechnoPirate is defeated and the United Heroez apologize for misjudging our Parisian superheroes and decide to no longer treat their children like kids.

So Paris for the first time in forever needs to undergo actual reconstruction, but Nadja is somewhat forgiving as she mentions that they needed to help the United Heroez and save NYC, where Hawkmoth also was. Hope there are no hard feelings?

Marinette had the idea of having the banner saying hello to Adrien, which he watched on the plane. So nice of Marinette the class to do such a nice thing for him.

Chloé, we might have somewhat forgotten that whole Miracle Queen stunt, but I am glad to see you enjoyed NY even if you will not admit it.

There are more Miraculous around the world. At the end, we need to fear Hawkmoth. Also, there are more Miraculous guardians and I am glad to see Jess convince one of the Guardians to create a new team of next generation superheroes

Overall, the New York special did not disappoint. We got Adrienette and Ladynoir (even if we know that Lukanette and Adrigami are also a potential reality, though good news for the shippers). We also saw the New York superheroes. Though there are some points that really surprised me (ie. The Ladynoir trust fight and Uncanny Valley dying temporarily and Paris being destroyed), I enjoyed watching the special.

I am worried about the Love Square, especially with Marinette though, but that is for another post. To sum up, we know what happens in NY stays in NY, but since the season 4 synopsis mentions Marinette struggling to find time to tell Adrien her feelings, I think that the Love Square is not 100% dead, but I am not too sure. Oh well, let's leave that for tomorrow.

I stayed up for another hour or so, so I will sign off. In the meantime, go ahead and watch it on an Instagram Page or on Disney Channel or wherever you can watch the special because I will tell you this: you will not regret it! (I watched it twice and will watch it again tomorrow!)

[alovesongshewrote]

Jolene | Hisirdoux Casperan x Reader

Plot:  Douxie teaches you how to play the guitar after a nasty break-up.

Word Count: 1,794

Warnings:  Angst, descriptions of being in a toxic relationship, break-ups, crying, cheating, the gif has nothing to do with the plot i just like it

A/N:  So, while this is cute towards the end and everything, I just want to apologize for anything that might be triggering.  I got out of a very nasty relationship recently and I needed to vent.  Thank the gods for the wizard boy, amirite?  Anyway, thank you so much for reading, AATY will be updated soon, it’s just taking longer because I want to stay accurate to the actual episodes of wizards.  Love you guys, please enjoy <3

(Also, try reading this while listening to Jolene and tell me what you think, bc I never did that and I want to know)

Tag List: @furblrwurblr​

Looking back on it, you should have broken things off sooner.

Literally, every flag in that relationship had been red, but you ignored them all hoping that he’d get better.  That he’d start to listen to you without responding in a resentful way, that he’d stop trying to control you, that he’d learn to respect your boundaries without a fight.  It never happened.

You tried to bring up your grievances with him, but he always tried to turn it back on you, making it seem like your fault.  It didn’t work.  You were smart enough to recognize manipulation and gaslighting, but you weren’t smart enough to leave.

And then he cheated on you.  That was enough.

You ended things as respectfully as possible, even though he really didn’t deserve it.  You didn’t even mention his infidelity or the fact that he had never respected you.  All you did was tell him that it wasn’t a good time for a relationship.  He tried to make you feel guilty, but he never once asked you to stay or told you he loved you.  You did the right thing.  You knew that.

But you felt like crap after it was over.

All you did for the next two days was lounge around in your pyjamas and listen to ‘Jolene,’ by Dolly Parton over and over again.  It wasn’t productive, but it was what you needed.

It made your friends a little nervous though.  

Throughout your little break from society, you'd received a decent amount of texts from concerned friends who weren’t super sure what was going on but wanted to support you nonetheless.  

Douxie was the first person you’d told.

He was the friend you trusted the most.

Of course, he was concerned for you.  So concerned, in fact, that he straight-up ran to your apartment to spend time with you.  And you really appreciated that.

You’d let him into your small home, which was surprisingly clean for the spiral you’d been going down.  The only thing that a person could find odd was the music you were listening to.  It was just ‘Jolene’ by Dolly Parton, over and over again.

It wasn’t exactly his type of music, but he respected your coping mechanisms.  And he had to admit, the guitar was really nice.

“So, how’re you holding up,”

“I’m okay I guess.  Better than I thought I’d be.  It just kinda hurts, y’ know?”

“I know, darling, I know.  Here, sit down, I’m making you some tea,”

“You don’t have to-”

“I’m going to,”

You smiled, watching him walk into your kitchen before you flopped down onto your couch.  The tea didn’t take long, and before you knew it, Douxie was on the couch next to you.

The warmth from the cup was nice, simulating human contact.  You missed human contact.  And now you had no one to give it to you.  Not like you did before, but still, the thought stung.

You didn’t realize there were tears in your eyes until Douxie’s hand was on your shoulder.  His hazel eyes peering into yours.  You hoped he didn’t see how hurt you really were.

He did.

“Oh, love, come ‘ere,”

More tears came to your eyes as Douxie came closer, wrapping you in the best hug you’d had in months.  He didn’t say anything, and neither did you.  He just held you close and let you cry into his shoulder for as long as you needed.  And this was what you needed.  

It took you about ten minutes to cry yourself out.  Douxie didn’t mind.  He was going to be there for you, no matter what, and if that meant his shirt got a little damp, he didn’t care.  You were more important.

“Thanks, Doux,”  you said, voice rough from crying, “Oh, god.  I’m sorry,”

“You don’t need to apologize.  You needed to vent your feelings, I’m just glad I could help,”

“Me too,” you pulled back, just enough to see his face, “I’m still going to apologize for getting your shirt wet though,”

Douxie laughed, “That’s fine, (Y/N), I care more about you than the shirt,”

You didn’t say anything.  If you did you’d cry again.

So, you just sat there, relaxing with your friend, drinking tea and listening to Jolene on repeat.  Your eyes were closed, your head on his shoulder, and his arm around you.  It was nice.  Really nice.  Better than anything in your actual relationship.

And then you had an idea.

“Hey, Douxie?  You do music, yeah?”

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“Do you think you could teach me how to play this on the guitar?”

“If you want me to I can,”

“I think I’d like that.  I want to make something good out of this.  It can’t be all heartbreak,”

“You’re right, darling, it can’t.  We won’t let it,”

You smiled at him, making his whole being feel warm, “Thank you,”

“It’s my pleasure.  I can pick you up tomorrow if you’d like?”

“That sounds good,” you said, relaxing back into your place at his side.

The two of you stayed like that for another hour.  You could have stayed there forever, but you wanted Douxie to get home before it got too dark.  Weird things happened in Arcadia at night, and wizard or not, you’d prefer it if he stayed safe.  

You said goodbye in a moment of tension.  Not the same angry tension you’d known with your ex, but something new.  Something much softer.  You realized then that you wanted to kiss Douxie.  That kissing him wouldn’t be a chore, something you did to keep up appearances.  It wouldn’t be something that was done to you because someone else wanted it.  This would be something you did because you wanted to.  But you didn’t kiss him.  Not yet.

The next day, Douxie was at your door, ready to walk you from your apartment to his.  It wasn’t a long walk by any means, but it was enough to fit in some quirky banter.  It was more than enough for you to feel safe again.

“Do you think pigeons have feelings?” you asked as Douxie unlocked the door.

“Probably.  We could ask Archie, he might know?”

“That sounds like a plan,”

He let you into his home, which was just as you remembered it.  Comfortable, a bit scrappy, but in a way that made you feel comfortable.  Right now, Douxie’s apartment felt more like home than yours did.

“You get the guitar, I’ll make tea,”  you said, turning to face him.

“You don’t have to-”

“Ah, yes, but I’m going to,”

He smiled as you walked away.

One pot of tea later, a guitar was in your hands.  It was taking you a hot minute to get the chords right, but you were nothing if not determined.  Douxie was an amazing teacher.  He was patient, calm, and not at all condescending.  It was a nice change from what you were used to.

“Here, let me,” he said, moving his hands to rest over yours, positioning your hands properly, “Like this,”

“Thank you, Douxie,”

“It’s not a problem, love,”

“No, I mean, seriously.  You didn’t have to do this.  Thank you,”

He moved his eyes from your hands to your eyes, “(Y/N), of course I had to do this.  You deserve the world and better,”  he took a deep breath,  “Love, I’m so sorry that that bastard hurt you.  He did so many awful things to you, and you’re incredible for handling it the way that you did,”

“Really?”

“Uh, yeah?  You handled it like an adult.  I think I would have killed him,”

You laughed.  You wouldn’t mind it so much if Douxie fought your ex.  You didn’t want him dead, but if your wizard friend could kick his ass a little, that would be nice.  Of course, the first one who got a chance at knocking some sense into that slimy git would be you, but after that Douxie could have his turn.  The thought made you laugh harder.

It only took a minute for both you and Douxie to be on the floor, laughing.  It wasn’t even that funny, but crying from laughter felt a lot better than crying from heartbreak.  Eventually, you picked up the guitar again, but it took a while.  You couldn’t get enough of Douxie’s laugh, and he couldn’t get enough of yours.

Before he walked you home, Douxie grabbed your shoulders, “You know you deserve better than him, right?”

You grinned, wrapping your arms around his waist, “I know.  But it’s nice to hear someone else say it,”

“I’m glad I could be of service,”

You giggled again, still wanting to kiss him.  But you didn’t.  Not yet.

It took you a little while to learn all of Jolene.  Some parts were harder than others, but eventually, you got it.  Douxie had never been prouder.  

After that, you were addicted.  You got Douxie to teach you other songs.  It didn’t take much convincing.  He loved listening to you play.  He loved a lot more than that, and you loved a lot more than the guitar.

It had been a few months since the break-up.  

You were in Douxie’s apartment, Archie curled up by the window, the wizard himself in the kitchen, and you on the couch, trying to get a chord right.  It wasn’t going well.  You groaned loudly, waking Archie.

“You don’t have more questions about pigeons, do you?  Because I told you, I will not be speaking with them again-”

“No, Arch, it’s not that.  It’s just this freaking chord is driving me insane,”

“Ah,” the familiar said, looking between you and the guitar, “I’d help if I had hands.  Good luck, though,”

“Thanks, Arch,”  you returned your focus to the chord, still frustrated.  Then Douxie’s hands were on yours.

“You’ve almost got it, it’s just-”  he adjusted your hands.  As he did, you noticed how close he was, seated behind you on the couch.

“Thank you, Doux.  Not just for this, I mean for everything, you’ve been amazing the past few months, and I-”

“(Y/N), I would do anything for you,”

You turned as much as you could, facing him, “Really?”  you asked, hearing your own smirk in your voice.

Douxie laughed slightly, “Really.  I-”  he bit his lip, driving you more insane than any guitar chord ever could, “I think I love you, (Y/N),”

This was it.

You (finally) kissed him.

And it wasn’t a chore or something that was done to you, it was something you did that you both wanted to do.  It was soft and safe, and it felt good.  It felt like you were loved the way you deserved to be loved.  This was the world and better.

“I love you too, Douxie,”

[fairytsuk1]

my heart weeps for you. (a)

pairing: izuku midoriya x reader

genre: angst

warning: graphic descriptions of injuries, character death

words: 3.1k

summary: please find me in my next life so I can properly tell you that I love you!

a/n: this is a long emotional one, please enjoy it :)

 Midoriya used to think that he'd only ever felt genuine sorrow in his life the day his mentor, father, and a love of his passed away.

 "I'm so proud of you, Young Midoriya...I suppose you aren't so young anymore, are you?" his hand rested atop his poofy hair, Toshinori could almost see him when he was much younger. When his embraces still had the familiar teenage gentleness behind them, he'd grown up so much, "I am proud of you. To know that you are my successor is the greatest gift you could have ever given me." 

 Midoriya had watched Toshinori take his final breaths after he proudly exhaled those three long-lasting words. He didn't cry then. Only when he was lost in the coldness of his bedsheets did his heart weep from anguish as though he had lost a part of himself. He hated the sky and the way it shone so brightly because he would never get to see All Might look up at it once more before smiling. 

 The world looked at the number one hero as a symbol of peace and that he was! He saved the day as Deku with a small pin of his former mentor near his breast, a constant reminder that he was always with him. Grief lasted what felt like forever, but every day things grew just a bit easier. Only, his biggest regret was that Toshinori Yagi had never gotten to meet you. He would have loved you. It seemed that people who had changed Izuku's life could never coexist. It was if life was trying to tell him something. 

 In the end, it's just you.

 The next time he felt genuine sorrow was on a day bright like the one before. Though the pain wasn't because of how alone he felt or how much he missed those who had passed...No, he felt the wave of sorrow overtake him the moment you'd died in his arms. Unlike last time, he wept. His heart cried out for you even when he chose not to think about it. It wept his entire life, for he was never able to find the same type of love ever again.

 "Deku! It's me, Signal, I'm sorry I'm late! The train was packed! This lady asked for help retrieving her cat, and I just couldn't say no in my hero get-up! But I am truly honored to be your sidekick. I will do my best for our newfound team!"

 You were young and bright and so colorful. Your hero outfit was a pure white and gave you this sense of innocence, but the red rings gave you a bold and courageous aura. You looked more like an angel rather than a hero. He didn't prefer the traditional cliches when it came to romance, but he couldn't help but feel shocked when suddenly things seemed brighter around him. You made things seem brighter.

"Huh?! It's no trouble at all! Really, don't worry about it! That was great for you to do, you're gonna have everyone's vote in the popularity poll if you keep it up. Ready for patrol?"

 You reached into your bag and grabbed a clunky helmet with a black shaded screen, it covered your face. Midoriya felt a frown tug his lips before scolding himself. Why are you frowning at her costume? You haven't known her well enough to be upset by how she looks! Later, he would grin in happy remembrance when he had gone to visit your grave. He hadn't frowned because he thought you were ugly, he'd frowned because he thought you were beautiful.

 You talked a lot, mostly about the latest things in pop-culture and anything to do with animals. You seemed to be really into music and saving stray dogs. You also tended to ramble about the mundane things in life like blue-spotted pigeons or plump old ladies offering homemade churros. You also ate with your helmet on, and it made you look pretty silly. He couldn't stop himself from grinning every time you turned your whole body to talk to him. You never knew what he was smiling at. 

 "Okay, watch this!" he watched you intently while sitting on the park bench, he didn't want to ask what exactly he was supposed to be seeing and had no idea if there was supposed to be anything at all.

"Um-haha! I don't see anything--"

 Neon pink. A blushing emoticon with small letters appearing under it. 

 "Signal loves Deku!"

 It was like he could hear Mina's words saying that when he blushed, he looked like a firetruck. He was sure he looked like a million firetrucks right then.

 "It's true! I'm a big fan and I've always dreamed of being near you! It's like a confession towards your senpai! Have you ever seen those types of anime? It's usually done better in the manga, but I like the romantic connotations either way. Pretty cool, right? During a stressful mission, I thought it might be better to display messages so people would know it's okay while I'm still kicking ass! Also-" 

 He laughed so sweetly that it felt like drinking honey and milk. He'd never heard of displaying messages like that, it was different! But it was a good type of different, a uniqueness that made you stand out. It was weird how he had only briefly met you once under the cherry blossom trees when it felt like he'd known you forever. He had only first seen you in your third-year school sports festival at his Alma Mater, but it felt like he'd been with you before. Your energy felt so familiar, and you felt so warm. He chalked it up to your infectious bubbly personality, but he had no idea how deep your energy truly ran.

 His sidekick Signal gave him a rush he had never felt before. You were sweet, but your quirk was terrific and incredibly powerful, you could sense civilians and give out concentrated waves of vibrations to either alert heroes or ward off villains. The two of you worked like a well-oiled machine because when he punched? You rescued. When you signaled? He arrived. When you both started? You both finished. 

 "Hey, Deku? Did you know that I love spicy pork ramen?"

"Is this your way of telling me we should get ramen?"

 "...No."

"Let's go then! I'll pay since I  am  the older one, of course," he grinned back at you, "let's get going short-stuff!"

 "I'm average!! We've been over this before you bozo!"

 It wasn't a date, it was just dinner after work. No biggie. Midoriya didn't need to fix his hair when he walked past the department stores' glass, and he didn't need to nervously look away from your eyes when you spoke with such intensity. 

 "Am I too young for you?"

 His beer sputtered out from his lips like a faucet; quickly, he began to mumble apologies as the brown liquid was wiped away from the table and his chin, "young?! What do you mean too young?!"

 "It's just as I said! I'm only nineteen and you' re-gosh-like twenty-five? No, twenty-six! Am I too young for you?"

"Hey!! I'm only twenty-three! I'm not some old geezer or a pervert or something!! ... You're just fine but...dating looks problematic, so we should just avoid it. Especially for your future career because of power dynamics and stuff."

 "Dating? I was talking about being a sidekick."

"W-What?!"

 You tossed your head back and barked out a laugh as you blatantly made fun of him, "I'm just messing with you! I meant what I said. If it's so problematic, then please wait for me!"

 It had only been six months since he'd met you under a bright blue sky with one wispy cloud floating in it. It had been only a year since he first saw you on his tablet with the most radiant smile on your face even though you'd lost to your opponent.

 It had only been six months since he had properly gotten to know you, and it was at this moment he could confidently tell himself that he loved you. Even with that clunky helmet.

"Okay, I'll wait for you. But you better not make me wait too long! Who knows what'll happen?"

 He wished he wouldn't have jinxed it.

 Red was a fantastic color on you and you knew it. It was merely coincidental that it matched his tie and the two of you looked like a couple. The whispers and comments weren't malicious, they were just curious. Who was Deku toting on his arm? Why did they look so compatible? At first, your curious eyes wandered all over the Pro-Hero Praise Party. (It has an official name, but after hearing your joyful excitement of being able to attend a "Praise Party," it just stuck.). You took it all in before glancing back at him with an open mouth of awe.

 "So, are the snacks any good?"

 Of course you were amazed. After shrugging in response to your question, Midoriya watched you quickly run off to chat with some of the girls, Uravity and Froppy. You were weird if he was going to be honest, you had this childlike excitement that followed you wherever you went but at the same time...you had a presence. It was commanding, demanding, and it called everyone to pay attention to you. You shone so brightly that it stuck to people's hearts like superglue; walking away almost made his vision go blurry because oh my god, please don't let that force be taken away from me.  

 You always came running back though. When things began to get a bit more intense with flirtatious comments or lots of alcohol, you were always there to seek comfort. With your exuberant nature came his calming one. You two fit together like two peas in a pod.

 "Izuku? I have to tell you something."

"Yeah?"

 "I...I had a good time! Thank you for bringing me as your plus one to the party!"

 He raised a brow in confusion as the two of you stood outside your apartment complex.

"Oh! I had a good time too! We should go to more, it's fun with you," was that coming on a bit too strong? Is that  creepy ?! "I--"

 Soft lips on his cheek, you had to go up a step because he was just that much taller than you. The gloss made it a bit sticky but you pulled away with a heart-shaped smile.

 "Pervert! You're blushing!"

"You're the weird one! Didn't your parents ever teach you not to fool around with older people??"

 "Psh, don't pull the 'I'm your senior' schtick!! I heard enough about it from Mr. Ground Zero!..."

 He smiled and stepped down, letting a hand squeeze your shoulder. He didn't want to make you uncomfortable with too much affection.

 "Well...Big day tomorrow, I'm going to jump right into bed!"

"Got it! Me too! See you later, and thank you. F-For the kiss."

 You grinned, your teeth nearly blinding him as you squeezed his hand before turning to go into the complex. 

 "Also, that hand move was a little weird. Just hug me next time! There!" You stuck your tongue out and hummed, "romantic advice from someone younger than you! Suck it!"

 That night, he lay in bed, wishing you were there with him. You two could lie together or watch movies or do anything, really. He just wanted to be close to you. He liked being close to you. 

 You lie curled up on your side, eyes wide as the heat from your previous action coursed through your veins. Hands lightly rubbed the frilly fabric of the pillow before you squeezed your eyelids shut. Oh, how much you wished the warmth was his and not the space heater near your bed.

 SEND DISPATCH OUT! DEKU AND SIGNAL ARE UNRESPONSIVE! NO WORD FROM INSIDE THE BUILDING, WE NEED SOMEONE TO LIFT THE PILLARS! 

 Dust and crumbled roof fell onto Midoriya's face as he coughed and took in a deep inhale, the fall must've been bad considering the next cough brought up blood. Broken ribs? For sure, he'd broken enough bones to know that the affected area had been his ribs. He was just lucky enough that his hero costume provided enough support to keep him from having anything  too  serious. Well, he supposed broken bones were still pretty serious...his mind's wandering. Focus on the task at hand.

"Signal? Are you there?" Silence. He wheezed and moved away from the dust waterfall. It was a small area and...he could see the white of your costume easily! Hey! "Y/N! Oh, why didn't you say anything…"

 The words died in his throat. Red had pooled around you and a pillar lie where your midsection would be. Your helmet had cracked, and the screen was glitching between various emoticon faces. You lie still and stiff with your hair in your face. 

 "Izuku?..."

"Don't speak! Don't do anything! I'm gonna get this pillar off of you, and then I'm going to get you some help. Can you say okay?"

 "Kay...It doesn't hurt too bad…"

 He didn't respond as he leaped over the pillar to see the damage that had been done and how easily he could lift the object. He felt like vomiting when his feet landed on the bone in your ankle. It should've hurt badly with his steel-toed shoes and all, but you made no noise. He glanced back in concern before crouching down and examining your leg.

 "You're taking so long, I'm tired…"

"...Can you...can you move your leg?"

"What do you mean? They were crushed, can't feel 'em at all."

 If he pulled on your leg, the muscle and tendons would be exposed like red string and yarn. The blood would pool out of your thigh and further stain the concrete. The pillar that came crashing down had caught you on the way down, severing your spine when it hit the ground. If he lifted this pillar, your guts would spill out, and you would bleed out, and you'd be  dead  and holy fuck there's so much blood--

 You sniffled, you had figured it out too.

 "I can't feel them, Izuku, please, where are my legs?!"

"They're...Well…"

 "It's fucking, oh my god, they're not there. Izuku, am I going to die!? I can get surgery, right? I'll be fine!" You breathed heavily and began to squirm around, "I can still be a hero! I-I'm still a sidekick! It's fine, right?!"

"Please stop moving…" The chip in his ear buzzed loudly though all he could feel and hear was static. He felt paralyzed, what could he do? His favorite girl lies in two pieces because a building happened to collapse, "I'm coming back over there."

 You'd begun to cry in earnest, fat tears rolled down your cheeks as your arms beat down on the pillar.

 "Stop! I'm fine! Deku! Just pull this fucking thing off of me! I'm  fine !" You screamed out in fear, "Please!"

 He knelt down and cradled your head with his arms, he smelled like sweat and the rainforest. He felt his eyes well, he was hardly able to blink the tears back. Your voice wavered as you asked the dreaded question. It was much softer this time.

 "Will I die?"

  How do you tell someone they will die no matter what happens? The silence hung poignant in the air as the distant sound of sirens blared as background noise.

"I'm so sorry! It's my fault! I should've grabbed you when I had the chance!"

 "Shut up. Don't think like that. Don't say something like that!! How could it be your fault when a villain attacked this building? It wasn't you, was it?"

 Your arm reached up to his face and cupped his cheek, your eyes memorizing every green swirl and every eyelash. There was no time to ponder on what to say, the sirens grew closer. You didn't have time to think about how scary death was or what would come when it was all over. The pillar was going to be lifted soon, and then you'd be gone.

 "I'm sorry, Izuku. To leave you this way... I'm so sorry," the words felt like arrows in his heart. So final and spoken so softly. Like you'd already made up your mind, how could you make up your mind in a time like this?!

"You're not gonna leave; if I activate my quirk, I can race you to the medics in thirty seconds, maybe twenty. That's our plan, okay? And then I can--"

 "I love you."

"Stop it! Stop saying things like you're ready to go! You aren't! I'm not! Just stop!"

 "I love you."

"Please, I'm not ready...Please keep living with me, I just want to be with you!" He clenched his fist as tears freely fell onto your cheeks, mixing with your own, "This won't be your last time saying this, I promise! Just let me…" 

 You smiled, no teeth this time. Just your lips curving upwards.

"Don't leave me…"

 "I love you!" It was merely a whisper this time.

 The rock near them was blown away, surely by someone's quirk. But all he could see was your smile and your kind but sorrowful eyes.

 "I'm sorry I made you wait so long. I love you, Izuku."

 The lump in his throat ached as he smiled and took your hand off his cheek, interlacing the fingers together. The other free hand came to push the hair out of your face. Would he say it?

 He stared down at the red and white headstone, custom made. It even had your aura with the bright flowers adorning the soft patch of grass in front of it. He knelt down, leaving red and white roses. He supposed red should be an awful color, having seen you drenched in it in your final moments. But whenever he thought of red, he just remembered those rings that made you look so bright. That dress that made you look so beautiful. The lips that often smiled at him. The love you two had shared.

"I'm sorry I couldn't say it then. But I hope you knew that I loved you too."

 It was another day of bright blue skies with fluffy clouds and warm wind. He guessed that All Might would have been enjoying a nice cup of tea while he reminisced. As for you, he assumed you'd be out there saving cats and dogs while accepting churros from strangers.

 It was one of the many bright blue-skied days, but one of the first without you.

[skiller0dani]

Lost in Love | Part Five

Summary: You’re Hank Anderson’s daughter, Claire- and you have an obsessive nasty ex fiance, Gavin Reed. A police officer at the DPD whom you’ve been seeing for a few years. He can’t stand the fact that you fell in love with an android of all things. But no matter what he does, leaving him feels like the best decision you’ve ever made. Claire is the source of the humanity that grew in Connor, she showed him how to love- and how to feel.

Pairing: Connor x Claire Anderson (OC)

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Detroit Good Ending Spoilers, Violence, Abusive Ex, PTSD

A/N: READ TEXT BELOW. IT’S VERY IMPORTANT TO THE STORY.

SO! Connor is my favorite and this precious baby boy deserves a small fic c: enjoy! The bold word at the top of every part is the corresponding chapter in the game this chapter takes place in. This fic is going to have Connor’s chapters only, and the dialogue will be altered- this isn’t supposed to be exactly like the Game. It’s my adaptation of the story, with my own personal additions added to it. Some of the story will take place after the game’s end.

Also the whole mood for this Part is Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson. If you wanna listen to it while reading I 10/10 recommend.

Part 4 Part 6 Masterlist

The Nest 

Connor finds himself, unsurprisingly, on Claire’s balcony as the sun rises. Claire is still asleep in her bed, her ankle looking much better than it did the night before. The birds chirp and the wind is bitter cold, feeling like it’s biting Connor’s skin. He looks down, noticing that Claire is still wearing his jacket. Claire’s alarm goes off and Connor moves into her bedroom, shutting and locking the doors to the balcony. Claire swings her legs off the side of the bed and Connor notices she’s not wearing any pants- it makes him blush. He turns and heads back to the living room as Claire finishes getting ready. She emerges from her room with a slight limp and hands Connor his jacket with a nervous smile. They’re getting closer- Claire can feel it. Being with him in her apartment is beginning to feel normal- it’s beginning to feel natural. Like he’s supposed to be here. 

“Ready to leave?” Connor asks as she pulls on a jacket. Claire smiles and nods, lacing up her shoes before slightly limping to the door. “Are you going to be okay?” Connor asks, his hand on the door handle. Claire nods, “yeah don’t worry about me.” She tells him as he holds the door open for her. “You look nice.” Connor smiles, noticing how beautiful she is- she really is very beautiful. Claire blushes as Connor lets the door close, “oh Connor I wanted to give this to you.” Claire smiles, handing him the key to her apartment that Gavin gave back. Connor looks surprised but smiles as he takes it from her. They walk down to the car, they’re supposed to meet Hank at the Police Station. Sitting in the car, Claire looks out the window as Connor sets the directions to the Police Station. 

“Been a wild couple of days.” Claire says, and Connor nods. It really has. Connor has never worked with anyone like Claire before. She’s changing him and he hasn’t decided if it’s for the better or not. He feels more vulnerable around her- weaker and stronger at the same time. “Took your time huh?” Hank teases as they approach him, Claire jokingly rolls her eyes as they all climb into Hank’s car. “I’m starving, you hungry sweetheart?” Hank asks, looking at Claire through the rear view mirror. Claire shakes her head, looking out the window. Hank pulls over as they reach a little food truck, he gets out and makes his way over. Connor sits in the car for a little, wondering what’s wrong with Claire. But he gets out and follow Hank. 

Claire stays in the car, trying her hardest to distance herself from Connor for a little bit. She loves him, she knows she does but he can’t love her back. He’s an Android, and him being nice to her is what he was programmed to do. All the nice things he says is what he was programmed to say. She’s trying her hardest to remember that but this connection she feels with him- it just feel so real. She doesn’t feel like it’s all programmed. It can’t be. It has to be real. Claire watches Connor lean against a table with Hank, talking to him. He looks Human, sounds Human, but he isn’t. Why did God have to send her the perfect man that isn’t a man? Why does her heart have to betray her like this? 

Walking up to the apartment, Claire can’t ignore the smell of pigeon shit, it’s everywhere. How the hell did so many pigeons get in here? Connor knocks on the door, and on the second knock there is a loud thump followed by the scuffling of feet. “Stay behind me.” Hank instructs and Connor moves behind him. Claire smiles, despite Hank saying how much he hates Androids, he still protects Connor. Claire tries to walk through after Hank but Connor’s hand stops her, and gently pushes her behind him. It feels like he’s trying to protect her, but why would he want to do that? Claire follows Connor into the apartment, becoming overwhelmed by the smell, “This has to be Deviant’s hideout- only an Android could live with so many damn pigeons.” Claire says, covering her nose with her hand. 

After a bit of poking around they soon discover that this Deviant has the same obsession with rA9. With a journal with writings in it that are undecipherable. Connor gets this look on his face as he slowly approaches a hole in the ceiling- in a flash the Deviant drops onto Connor and sprints into the hallway- Connor stands, “Chase it Connor!” Claire yells and soon he’s down the hallway like a bullet. Hank runs out into the hallway with Claire following behind him- but they can’t match an Androids speed. Watching Connor jump off a moving train Claire follows Hank through a shortcut through other buildings. When they emerge the Deviant is heading straight towards them, “Stop! Police!” Hank yells but the Deviant is barreling towards him. “Dad watch out!” Claire yells, jumping in front of him to shove him to the side. The Deviant shoulders her and skids off to the right, Claire looses her balance and tips over the edge of the building- her hands grabbing onto the sides.  

Hank is scrambling to get up, when Connor bursts out of the cornfield, and straight towards her. He doesn’t even glance at the Deviant as he jumps to another building. Connor takes Claire’s arms and pulls her up back onto the roof- his arms finding their way around Claire’s waist. Connor looks off to where the Deviant escaped, “Connor, you saved my life. Again.” She breathes, her heart hammering in her chest. Connor releases a breath as he gently leads Claire away from the edge of the roof and down the stairs. 

Claire and Connor enter Claire’s apartment, both silent. Neither of them spoke on their way back to the apartment. Claire sinks into the couch as Connor shrugs his jacket off, and hangs it on one of the hooks. Connor slowly makes his way besides Claire and she can’t help but be confused by the fact that Connor took his jacket off. He’s never done that before it’s just so...human. Connor rests his head back against the couch, his eyes closing. “Connor, do you sleep?” Claire asks suddenly, causing his eyes to pop open. He turns his head to look at her, his hands interlocked on his chest. “I can, but I don’t need to. I was designed to adapt to any and all work hours- including late hours.” He explains and Claire nods, “I wasn’t.” She joke and to her surprise- Connor lightly chuckles. 

“I thought I was going to die today.” Claire admits and Connor looks over at her, his hand reaching for hers. “I will always be there to save you Claire. I promise.” Connor says sincerely, and Claire looks up at him- there’s something different about his eyes. They look Human, and Connor he just- he feels so Human. “What about when you get sent somewhere else in the Country? You won’t always be here Connor.” Claire tells him sadly, and he doesn’t say anything. It’s true- he could be sent somewhere else at a moments notice. And its strange, but Connor doesn’t want to be sent somewhere else. He want’s to be near Claire, so he can keep his promise. For the first time- Connor is caught between his Duty, and what he truly wants to do. For the first time, Connor feels like...like he’s a slave. For the first time ever- he doesn’t want to do what he was designed to. Stopping Deviant’s is beginning to feel less and less important. 

Without thinking Connor leans forward, and brushes his lips against Claire’s- before they press together fully. The kiss is brief and Connor pulls back in surprise and Claire’s eyes are wide. “I- I should...” Claire stammers, tears in her eyes. Is he trying to hurt her? She loves him, and he can’t love. It’s like some twisted game designed solely to hurt her. Claire stands and rushes back to her bedroom- closing the door behind her. Connor sits up, feeling a horrible heavy pulsing through him. Suddenly he feels something wet on his cheeks and reaches up to touch his face- tears? What is happening to him? Is he crying? Connor stands, he wants to apologize but he doesn’t know why he did that- or why it upset Claire. He gently knocks on the door- leaning against the frame. “..Claire?” Connor says hesitantly. He hears her soft crying and he swears he can feel his heart breaking. 

“Claire can I come in?” Connor asks and when he doesn’t get a response he slowly opens the door. He doesn’t see Claire which makes him panic until he sees the door to the balcony slightly ajar. He gently opens the door to see Claire sitting on the bench with her knees pulled to her chest and tears in her eyes. “Claire I-” “I think you should go Connor.” Claire says softly, tears spilling over. Connor feels his eyes mist and he nods. He doesn’t argue or plead with her- he stands up, grabs his jacket, and leaves. When she hears the door close, she begins to full on sob. Her head down on her knees as cries ripple through her. She feels as though her heart has split into so many pieces she doesn’t even know if she can put them all back together again. Her fists ball and she continues crying on the balcony. The balcony that helped bring them together and the very same balcony that split them apart. 

[amaranthprincess21]

Upside-down in the Abyss: Chapter 1

Fandom: Wizardess Heart Rating: T, but will probs change.  Synopsis: In the middle of her provisional period, Liz Hart vanishes without a trace. Klaus Goldstein already has enough on his plate, Elias and Yukiya are heartbroken, and no one can seem to console Azusa. With sacrifices becoming more and more frequent, Klaus knows it's a race of time to find Liz before she's hurt - or his brother does something stupid. And meanwhile, Liz is prey to something much darker than anyone could imagine...

It was just the same as killing a pigeon, Azusa told himself. It was exactly the same as killing a bird to feed the Nue. She was just another pigeon, he kept telling himself. But as tears ran in rivers down her face and his hands shaking as he tried to summon the Nue, he realized he couldn't do it. She wasn't a pigeon, a bird that only squawked when he wrung its neck. She would scream and cry and beg for her life. Azusa could already hear her death cries in his ears.

This isn't what Tsukasa would want. He wouldn't want this girl's blood on his hands. Gods, I'm weaker than she is, Azusa cringed. He could kill animals but not her? But, a voice inside his head told him. You don't need her dead. You just need her out of the way. That was right.

"起きる (Okiru)!" He made a sign and cast it towards Liz. Immediately, she fell silent and she collapsed, body sprawled out on the grass. Azusa quickly picked her up and headed to the East Forest. There was a darkness that couldn't be pierced, Randy had told him. No unicorn could live there, and there was no way Liz would make it out of there alive. He trusted the Nue or Tsukasa could lead him out.

The void seemed to swallow him up as he entered the forest, pushing deeper and deeper to find a suitable place to dump her. His feet were sore and he decided to come to a stop. Kneeling, he placed Liz on the ground and turned his back on her, going back the way he came. He was rid of her, she wouldn't be able to get in his way anymore, so why did he feel so empty inside? Why did he feel like something was clawing at his heart?

Elias sighed heavily as he sat in Klaus' office, turning the page through one of the many books his brother owned. Klaus, on the other hand, twisted his ring as he went over the photographs of the sacrificial sites. There was something so wrong about it. There was so much blood in the vigils and pooled under the sacrifices that it seemed impossible for all of the blood to come from the birds...

“Did Miss Hart like the earrings?” Elias finally spoke up, breaking the silence. Klaus looked up and found him giving him a curious gaze.

“I'd like to think she did,” he replied.

“Elaine really came through with her fashion knowledge then, I guess,” Elias commented. He paused, as if choosing his words carefully. “I'm surprised you asked her for help with a design in the first place.”

“Hart's a poor little country bumpkin. She deserves to own something nice,” Klaus reasoned.

“What? You're letting her keep them once this is over with?”

“I'll remove the charm, but yes. I don't see why not.” Elias shut his book and got up to sit in the chair opposite Klaus.

“We both know those earrings cost at least half a year's worth of allowance,” he said.

“If you want to say something, say it,” Klaus challenged him. “Stop beating around the bush.”

“Did you stop to think how young she is?! She's my age! It's weird for you to be going after someone my age! And in my class, no less!” Elias fired at him. “I may have suggested her as a spy but your interest seems to be going a bit further than confidants.”

“Are you kidding me, Elias? Can you hear yourself right now?” Klaus replied irritably. “I hardly know Hart. I chose her because she's Azusa's Buddy and your glowing recommendation. And I gave her earrings because by the time this is over, she'll have worked hard for them and with all the mental scarring she'll have gone through, she'll need something nice.” Elias groaned and leaned back in his chair, arms folded.

“I suppose you're right. But you better be careful, sneaking off to see her every night,” Elias warned him. “I haven't seen much of Azusa, but I know he's the kind of guy that's willing to share.”

“Oh really?” Klaus gave him a piercing glare.

“.... Yeah, there were some things that happened...” Elias mumbled, looking towards the bookcase.

“Such as... ?” Elias sat up straight, but kept his gaze away from his elder brother.

“This happened a few days ago, but Miss Hart didn't pack hardly anything for lunch, so Yukiya decided to split his lunch with her. Azusa came to visit our classroom to have lunch with her and well, he was polite but you could tell he was fuming on the inside that she was eating with us,” Elias told him.

“Why didn't you tell me about this when it happened?”

“Why would I? I didn't think it was important.” Oh, it was important all right. The alarm bells in Klaus' head were going off. Jealousy was a common sin, but to get angry that she was eating with her friends? That didn't warrant anger. Was Azusa abusing her? Was he trying to control her? Klaus knew Liz was too naive and too much of a pushover to fight back. Come to think of it, he had seen dark bags under her eyes and bruises on her arms. She was clumsy, but none of these signs pointed to anything good.

“Hart's roommate is Amelia Nile, correct?” Klaus asked Elias.

“Yes, I think so.”

“Go get her for me. I need to talk to her.”

Yukiya took a deep breath as he steadied his wand. Seth sat near him, gold eyes watching his every move. Would it be rude to tell the creature that fed off your soul to go fuck off for a few moments?

“Grant this water the power to advance time! 'Transeo Hora!'” The vial of water started to glow, but a sharp pain in Yukiya's eyes made him miss the rest of it. Groaning, he screwed his eyes shut and sharply gasped for air. God, the pain was getting worse and worse as if someone was shoving nails into his eyes.

“It looks like the spell worked,” Seth commented as if nothing was wrong. Yukiya sighed, letting his hands fall to his sides but keeping his eyes shut.

“Did you have to make magic so painful to use?” he demanded.

“That sounds like a personal problem,” Seth retorted. He should have taken up his sister's offer on that muzzle when he had the chance. The full moon was coming soon and although he was trying to see her less, with the pain ringing through his head, it was clear to Yukiya that he'd need to see the mysterious ghost that soothed his pain.

Mentally making a plan for himself, he slowly opened his eyes. The light burned his uncovered eye and made it water. Trying his best to ignore the pain, Yukiya uncorked the vial and continued his practicing.

When Liz came to, she couldn't see a thing. Panic rose in her body. Had she lost her sight? But as she turned her head, she realized she could make out looming shapes in the darkness. So she could see. But where on earth was she? The last thing she remembered was Azusa's cold, emotionless face and his shaking hands. What had he done to her?

“Azusa?!” she called out. Maybe this was just some sick, twisted joke. Maybe it was just some huge misunderstanding. Maybe he was nearby and he'd come to rescue her any moment. “Azusa, are you there?!” The void was silent as she waited for his voice, for a sound, anything. One second, two seconds, twenty seconds, forty seconds, a minute passed and nothing sounded off.

This wasn't a joke, was it?

Azusa had left her in this darkness to die, hadn't he?

Tears welled in her eyes and for what seemed like the twentieth time this week, Liz began to sob. How could he have done this to her? How had she fallen for his lies? Was she as stupid as he said she was? Was she really dumb for wanting to believe in the best of people? Her naivete had gotten the best of her and led her to this situation, to her being trapped in this dark abyss.

No.

The word seemed to reverberate in the air around her, bouncing through the inky blackness.

You aren't wrong. It's him who is wrong. You gave him everything and he used you. The voice was so silky and thick and warm. It reminded her of the dark chocolate fudge she used to put on her sundaes. He took your kindness and used it. Darling, you're not in the wrong.

That's right. He had done this. She had done her best to be kind and accommodating, and yet he threw her aside like a threadbare sock. Azusa took her love and stomped it into the ground and cursed her with silence. No, she wouldn't let him have his way anymore. Liz got up off the ground and brushed herself off. She was going to confront him and make him realize she was a force to be reckoned with.

That's a good girl, the voice said lovingly. Liz snapped her head to the side as she felt hot breath tickle her ear. She couldn't see anything and when she reached out to touch whatever was speaking to her, her fingers only grasped air. There was a rush of wind and she felt more alone than ever. Had someone just been with her? Why did they leave her to find her own way out?

Focus, Liz! Focus, she told herself. Answers would be nice, but first, she needed to figure out where she was and how to get out.

A/N: So there’s chapter 1! Idk how long I’ll make this, but I def got some great ideas for future chapters! :3c

Buy me a coffee

[astoldbyacertifiedunicorn]

Try by Colbie Callait

SONG 5 

I know I haven’t written for some time, I’m sorry I got sick and I want to also thank the lovely anons who said nice things bout the last OS. Tumblr is fixing my ask box, so I’m sorry I haven’t thanked you personally yet. Slight warning, that this fic deal with insecurities as an issue and I just want to recognize two things, (1) April as a character has grown and her insecurities aren’t the same anymore - so this is AU, based around s8/9, and she doesn’t fail her boards nor have active battle with her religion. (2) Everyone’s journey with nsecurities are dfferent. This is based on my understanding how insecurities work, I’m sorry if anything is offensive. 

Put your make up on, get your nails done

Curl your hair 

Run the extra mile, keep it slim

So they like you.

Do they like you?

April's not really sure how exactly she convinced herself to work up the nerve to do what she was about to do, but somehow here she was. She nervously fidgets around, pulls on her clothes, tidies up her sweater, and picks invisible linen from her pants. She straightens out her hair and places the curls gently on the shoulders. He'll be here in the attending' lounge soon. She'd made a quick check with him this morning in the on call room, to check what time he was off.

She wasn't really sure when this whole sleeping together thing became their thing, but here they were, holed up in the on call rooms of the hospital, everyday, sometimes twice a day. She wasn't complaining. Of course not, that wasn't what this was about. Never in her most optimistic dreams did April ever expect someone like Jackson to want a.... whatever it is they were, with someone like her.

As the years went by, and having only had one boy in high school who'd taken her to the carnival and dumped her the next day because she was too 'enthusiastic' and 'didn't know how to chill' and a college boyfriend who'd called her a 'prude' because she'd made it clear to him she was waiting until marriage, expectations of any kind of love dwindled down. She guesses she's lucky she even has the kind of relationship she has with Jackson. She shouldn't, couldn't, expect more.

Some little girls, herself included, dream of white weddings, and sweet boys who'd love them and babies and white picket fence houses. The sad reality, April came to know as an adult is society will rise to the occasion to make sure that some of these little girls know, as they grow up, that there are a few shortcomings with them, that might make this dream impossible.

She was scrawny, had fizzy hair, braces, acne and pigeon toes. Apparently, boys liked only a particular image she'd never be capable of looking like. So, when she was old enough, she promised herself she'd try her hardest to look like that. Maybe then, someone would love her. So she runs every morning, goes to yoga on the weekends and swims every other day. She dyes her hair red, and uses a tirade of products, so that she always had long locks of shiny, bouncy hair. She fixes her teeth, and gets her braces off, and spends a fortune to get rid of the acne and torturously wears a leg brace for a year to and goes to ballet to get rid of the pigeon toes. She looks a lot different now than what she did. She's still not perfect, she still refuses to look in the mirror and call herself beautiful nor does she expect anyone else to call her beautiful. She'd settle for 'not bad looking' any day.

It doesn't work. Turns out, they tell her, it's not just the way she looks, it's her personality as well. She's annoying, neurotic, crazy, difficult to like. Her colleagues take the time out of their day to remind her that she doesn't measure up. There's something different about her they find hard to relate to. They let her know her voice is grating and her presence is unwelcome. She misses Reed in those moments, the only person to ever fully accept her, but she's happy she at least has Jackson, that is until he tells her she be ashamed that she's still a virgin. She never thought he'd feel that way, out of everyone else. She wasn't sure how to go about explaining to them that she didn't  want to lose her virginity in a one night stand, that even if it wasn't after marriage, at the very least to would be to a man who loved her. She wasn't sure how to let them know that it doesn't come easy for some people. They're beautiful, and smart, and interesting. They're not her. They don't understand what it's like to love without being loved back, to lust endlessly, to convince yourself you're happier alone, to convince yourself to let go of any dreams  because you need to start being realistic. So she calls them out, and feels a rush when Meredith tells her she's starting like her more and more.

"Hey, I thought you were off an hour ago?"

Her thoughts get interrupted by the very person she'd been waiting for. She turns around to see Jackson walking towards her, and leaning down to kiss her. She kisses him back, and holds him there for a second, because sometimes she still can't believe this is real. She's still waiting for him to tell her this was an elaborate prank, that it was all a joke.

"Um, I was waiting for you." She says, as he pulls back, and starts to change.

"Yeah?"

"I... um, wanted to ask you something?"

He nods, pulling on his shirt.

She's not sure how to go about it now that she's here. She practiced it in front of the mirror a million times, and she's been imagining doing this for a good week now. She just needed to find the surge of unusual confidence she had yesterday and blurt it out.

"Will, uh, w-okay, so.... I was wondering if, you-I.... was thinking, well-" She's stuttering and it's not attractive. She can already tell that she's making a fool out of herself, and that this was a terrible idea. She just couldn't appreciate what she had couldn't she? She just couldn't be satisfied with only sleeping with him, could she?

"April?" He asks her, seemingly slightly amused at her reluctance.

She takes a deep breath, reminds herself the pep talk she gave herself. She deserved more, she deserved more, she deserved more. And if he said no, well, she'd settle for what they have, and love him until he left her for someone better. Then she'd try not to let it kill her.

"Will you go on a date with me?"

Get your sexy on, don't be shy, girl

Take it off

This is what you want, to belong

So they like you.

Do you like you?

Her eyes widen the moment it's out there, her pulse beats faster and she's feels a steady fluttering in her stomach. She waits for him to recognize what she's saying, register it and...

Laugh. He was laughing. A lot. She felt tears prick the back of her eyes. Stupid, stupid, stupid. In what mental state did she let herself believe she had any chance being in an actual relationship with him. Someone so perfect in so many ways. God, she'd never felt this stupid in her whole life. Jackson dated women like Lexie. Gorgeous, intelligent, interesting, likable. Not.... her. In what universe would he have to settle for someone like.... her. She quickly chokes back a sob that threatens at her throat, her face contorting painfully to a forced smiled.

"You don't- you don't have to... I mean, I was just asking. It's so dumb, I know." She forces herself to laugh with him, hoping he can't hear the devastation in her voice.

"What? No. No, April," Jackson says, his laughter dying down, and a smile settling on his face, "Its not that I don't want to, it's just.... it's not that."

"Oh." She blinks. Was he....

"I'd really like for you to take me out, yes." He winks, and chuckles once more.

Her heart soars and for a second she's dumbstruck. She was prepared for a rejection, gone through the thousand of ways he would say no, but she wasn't prepared for him to agree to this. Maybe, he was entertaining her, finding this whole thing amusing, but it was a chance. She could recognize an opportunity to impress when she saw one. She could convince him, that she was worth giving a shot. Maybe she wasn't a lot of things, but she could make up for all her shortcomings. She just wanted a chance to prove that to him.

"Okay! Um, great! That's great!" She squeals, and realsies that she should probably tone it down a little bit. He'll probably get scared off by her enthusiasm.

"I'll pick you up at 8... or are you going to be the one doing that?" He grins.

"I.... I'll do it," She's the one who needs to impress him, not the other way around.

He laughs again, and picks up his bag, "Okay."

She nods, and he squeezes her hand and walks away.

She's on cloud 9, and she can't screw this up.

Get your shopping on, at the mall,

Max your credit cards

You don't have to choose, buy it all

So they like you.

Do they like you?

She's happy their date falls on a Sunday when she has a half day at work. It gives her time to rush to the mall and try to put herself together. She doesn't really have any girlfriends. She's not close to Meredith all that much and Cristina isn't the type to hand out advice. She wants a different look, she decides. Her sweater, jeans and flats combo isn't cute, and definitely nothing like what the girls he dates dresses.

She decides on a tight, short red dress with spaghetti straps that hugs her body. She looks awkward, since she doesn't carry it well, and it makes her cry in the changing room for a second, because she's ridiculous for thinking she could pull off looking sexy, until the sales assistance asks if she needs help. She buys a pair of heels that makes her toes ache, but she's not going to wear flats with this dress.

She gets ready, gets herself prepared. Runs the mascara wand through her lashes, applies the red lipstick. She pulls on a curl, so it falls from the neat bun on her head, and now she hopes it looks more effortless. She doesn't think she looks too bad. Yet, the more she appraises herself the more she realizes that's not true. She stares at herself long enough for her to give in and realize this is the best she got.

She picks up the keys and decides to head out, when she hears the doorbell ring. She looks slightly confused and goes to open, a little shocked when she sees Jackson on the other side.

"Jackson?" She asks, eyebrow raised, wondering what he was doing here, since she was supposed to be picking him up.

"Hey, Ap-" He begins, but his eyes rove over her, and she takes a second before blushing furiously. Maybe her efforts paid off.

"Oh."

She blinks, and looks at him, and his face looks.... disappointed? She wasn't sure, but it had to be. Nobody had a positive "oh" reaction. Her face falls, and there's a heaviness in her chest that she pushes down. It's fine, she thinks, beauty isn't one of her strengths. She didn't know what she was expecting. For him to say she was beautiful? Maybe. He's never said it before. Sure, she knew that for whatever reason it was, he was turned on by her, but he'd never really called her beautiful. She didn't think it was the same thing.

"That bad, huh?" She jokes.

"Wha- oh no, April, sorry I'm just... its very different from.... Never mind, you look-"

"I'm just kidding, Jackson." She forces a laugh, because she's even sadder he feels the need to explain himself to her, when really, she gets it. She just thought she'd give it a shot.

"You look really handsome." She tells him, and bites her lip. He looked gorgeous as he always does. She suddenly felt herself shrinking. She was way out of her depth here. This man was so far out of her league, she couldn't even comprehend how she thought he'd want something other than a physical relationship with her.

"Thank you," He smiles, and holds his hand out, a massive bouquet of flowers, "This is for you."

It's all her favorites, and she feels so happy that he remembers. Very few people do.

"Thank you, they're so pretty." She takes them from him, a little surprised that he'd bought them in the first place.

"Ready?" He asks her, and she nods, "So, where to?"

She gulps, and recoups, decides that she's going to give it her all, and to do that, she needed to start believing in herself.

"That's a surprise," She teases him, her eyes twinkling, and he smirks.

"Oh yeah? Is it that way?" He nods towards the bedroom, and she stills for a second.

"Um, su-sure. We could- we could stay and.... of course. Here let me just-" She starts to turn around and go back to the room, her heart clenching knowing it was stupid to assume otherwise. She was sex, that was all.

"April, no, no, I'm kidding. It's a joke. Look, are you okay? You're acting a little..." He says, but stops himself, shaking his head, "Let's go, come on."

He smiles, and holds his arm out to her, and she tentatively places it against his, "Okay."

Wait a second,

Why should you care, what they think of you

When you're all alone, by yourself

Do you like you?

Do you like you?

They sit in a restaurant, and she feels a little unfamiliar with the setting. Sure, they've dined out together before, as friends, but the awareness that they were on a date made it difficult to relax. She saw people's gaze fall on them, and she can almost feel the judgement seeping through. What's he doing with her? What could possibly be wrong with him that he'd have to settle for her?

"April? You hate Thai food." Jackson says, once they're seated and their menus handed out to them.

"I don't think hate is the word I'd use," She says, although her eyes scan the menu with caution.

"It's too spicy for you, you'll get sick." He comments.

"No I won't," Although it happened once, and she knows that's why he's bringing it up, "Plus, you said you were craving it."

He grins, "You have a great memory bank, you know that. You remember everything!"

"I do!" She grins, "I perfected it back in the farm so I always remembered how many eggs each hen had."  

He laughs, and she relaxes, slightly. They were best friends. Conversation was something she could do.  

It goes smoothly, until she hears two girls snickering in the background, and she turns her head and meets their gaze. They quickly look away, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out what they're saying.

She gazes back at him, and he's unaffected, telling her a some story about him and Alex, and brushing his leg up hers. She smiles, tries to be in the moment.

They laugh again, and she wants them to stop. To leave her alone. She also feels bad. For Jackson. She wants to turn around and apologize to him, that being with her in public is a nightmare for him. I'm sorry, she thinks, you shouldn't have to be seen with me.

After dinner, she asks for the bill, but gets told it's already taken care of.

"I'm not letting you pay." He tells her, rolling his eyes.

"But it's my date."

He ignores her question, and turns to her, "Where to next?"

"Miniature golf!" She exclaims, and pulls his hand and he follows her out, "It's the number 1 most recommended date activity."

"Did you google this?" He teases her, and slings an arm around her waist.

"Yes, I did, actually." She admits, and shrugs her shoulders. She didn't know what a good date was on instinct.

You don't have to try so hard

You don't have to bend until you break

You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up

You don't have to change a single thing

You don’t have try, try , try 

"Did you have a good time?"

He walked her up to her apartment, and followed her inside out of habit, closing the door behind him.

"Hm, oh yeah. It was great." He smiles, his hands in his jeans.

What now? April wonders. Does she ask him if he'd like to do it again sometime? Is she expected to say something? Is he going to say it?

"Um, April, listen, about tonight...." He begins, scratching his neck, walking towards her.

She sighs, knowing rejection when she hears it. She really did give it her all, tonight, tried to be the best version of herself. She spoke less, was a lot more nonchalant when it came to things and managed to keep her voice at a lower octave. This was the best version of herself, but it wasn't enough, it seemed. She tried so hard, she tried her best, and she stepped far out of every comfort zone she knew, to do it.

"I know," She smiles, hoping her voice doesn't break, "It's fine, really, you don't have to. I... we can still," she gestures to the bedroom, "if you want."

"Oh, I do... it's just, what exactly do you know?"

"You don't want to date me," She shrugs, biting her lip hard, not not cry. It was embarrassing enough she thought she could pull it off, she didn't need to cry about it, "I get it, really I do. I just, I don't know, wanted to convince you I wasn't just good for sex."

"April, what the hell makes you think I think you're just good for sex? I'm your best friend. Do you think I'd ever stoop low enough to see you as just this sex object that I can sleep with whenever I want to. Is that what you think?"

He sounds angry, and she's a little taken aback. She wasn't insulting him, of course not, she was just pointing out the obvious. She wasn't sure why he couldn't understand that.

"No, no. I don't. You're wonderful. You wouldn't... that's not what I meant. I meant-"

He doesn't let her finish because he's slightly fuming, and she's a little worried now.

"And what makes you think I don't want to date you? I-" He stops pacing, and looks up at her, "You asked me out because you thought all I wanted from you was sex?"

He looks so hurt, it breaks her heart.

She nods, "I didn't think you would want to... date me."

"April, why-why the hell would you think that?" He asks her, eyes wide.

"Um, I... I'm not like the other girls."

"Other girls?"

"The ones boys like."

"April....." He whispers, and she feels him walking towards her. He sits down on the couch and takes her hand, pulling him to the seat next to her, "I was confused abouttonight, because, I don't know, you were acting so unlike yourself. You were quiet, and strangely calm, I was just confused. It was like this different person."

"I wanted to be less...." Her voice trails off, as she drops her gaze to her lap.

"Less what?"

"Less me."

He sighs, and puts her stray curl behind her ear, "April, I really like you. You! Not whoever this person is. These clothes, the way you've been acting, it's not you. I just wanted to go to on a date with my smart, kinda, funny, gorgeous best friend."

She darts her head towards him, eyes wide, "G-gorgeous?"

"Ofcourse you are, why would you- I've never said that before have I?" He waits for her to nod, and groans deeply, running a hand over his face, "I'm an idiot."

"What? No you're not, Jackson. You-"

"No, don't defend me, please. I'm an idiot. I'm the asshole who was to afraid to ask you out so I made you feel like complete crap instead. I'm the guy who sleeps with his best friend and never told her how devastatingly beautiful she was, and acted like all she was good for was sex. Don't defend that guy, April." He looks away from her, but she can see how guilty he is.

She never meant for him to beat himself down, that had never been her intention. But something he'd said had struck a chord with April, and it made her perk up.

"Did you just say... you were too afraid to ask me out?" She wanted to laugh. What did he have anything to be insecure about?

"That's why I laughed in the morning. God, you probably thought- Nevermind. I just found it funny because, I didn't think you'd want to date me." He shrugs, and she can't help but laugh loudly, throwing her head back against the couch.

"Why the heck wouldn't I date you?" She was really starting to think he was pranking her.

"You're too good for me," Jackson tells her, "God, I mean April, you're perfect. You're this beautiful, intelligent, incredible person. You're so well adjusted, and normal. You don't have abandonment issues or a family that think all you're good at is being pretty. You don't have walls to intentionally keep people out, and you don't have a problem putting your heart out there, because your strong enough to deal with rejection. You're.... amazing, and you can do- you deserve so much more than I can ever give you."

She doesn't say anything for a while, because she's not sure how to respond to all this. Never, in all the time they spent together, has she ever considered the possibility of Jackson having insecurities. He's perfect in her eyes, and she's not merely speaking of his looks. Sure, he was stubborn, and had a mean streak, but he was still perfect to her. She couldn't believe he'd think so.... low of himself. The hypocrisy didn't go unnoticed by her.

"No, Jackson. No, my god, how could you even think that," She kneels before him, and takes his face into her hands, turning his gaze away from the floor to focus on hers, "I... I'm the one who doesn't deserve you, that's why I did all this."

"You were always perfect to me, April. Way before all this. When you were just my best friend, and I didn't even consider anything more, you were still perfect. You were this slightly annoying, neurotic, but crazy smart, and beautiful mess," He takes her in for a slight second, "Perfect."

She blushes, and it takes her a time to grasp all the things he's saying. He likes the things she hates so much about herself. He doesn't like her despite it, but also because of it.

"I don't care about all the stupid things you think I care about," April replies, hoisting herself up on to his lap. She places her hands on his shoulders, and his hands curls themselves perfectly around her waist, "A parent did something terrible to you, and that's not something you just get over, I don't expect you to. I like you just fine, all stubborn and grumpy."

He cracks a smile at that, "I'm damaged goods, April. You deserve shiny and new."

"Do not ever say you're damaged. You just have a lot of hurt in your heart, and I don't want you to ever feel guilty for that. It does not make you damaged, or broken or whatever slew of adjectives I know is running through your head right now. Okay?"

He nods, although she can tell he's not utterly convinced, "Okay."

She sighs, knowing that all the issues Jackson had weren't going to solved suddenly just became she says so. Some of it he has to deal with himself.

"Come on." He tells her, standing up, and in the process carrying her in his arms, bridal style.

Take your make up off

Let your hair down

Take a breath

Look into the mirror, at yourself

Don't you like you?

She squeals a bit when he gently deposits her onto the bed of her room, and wanders off to her bathroom without a word. He's been to her place before, they were...are best friends, and if she was paying enough attention, possibly more than that. He comes out, carrying a container and she squints her eyes to see what it is.

"Are those makeup wipes?" She questions, raising a brow. What was he doing?

"Yep." He says, "You look gorgeous, with or without makeup, although I personally prefer you without it, it doesn't really matter what I prefer. If you like wearing makeup because it's fun, and artsy and you just like spending $35 on an eyeliner, be my guest. But if you're wearing it because you think I mind seeing your freckles, and dark under eyes, and acne scars, then you really have no reason to wear it."

He takes out a wipe, slowly running it across her face. She's a little dumbfounded, because this is really the last thing she'd thought he was ever going to do. He takes his time, and soon, it's all off and he runs a wet towel across her face.

"There.... just as perfect." He smiles, kissing the tip of her nose.

She giggles, and is honestly unsure what to do about this turn of events.

"Okay, next comes the dress. Hands up," He instructs her, and she does as he says, and he pulls it off of her, "This is gorgeous, you look amazing in it, that's what I was going to say earlier before you cut me off. But it's also not you. I have a feeling you wore it to impress me, and it's sweet, really, but you don't have to. I like you in a potato sack."

She laughs, and shakes her head at him, "I'd look horrible in a potato sack, it's totally not my colour."

He chuckles at her horrible attempt at a joke, "What? Muddy brown would look great on you!"

They laugh together while Jackson manages to take off the shoes that had been giving her an insane amount of pain all night. He takes a foot in his hand, and it's red and slightly swollen and she sees him wince.

"Okay, never, wear these again," He throws the pair across the room, almost as if it's their fault she's hurt,"I love your cat ear flats."

"You think they're ridiculous." She points out.

"Ridiculously cute." He retorts.

She makes a promise to go back and get her money, she's more than happy to trade those in for some nice, low heels.

"I mean, I'm not complaining about these," He winks, running a finger on top of the red lace lingerie she bought just for tonight.

She blushes furiously, and feels a highly self conscious when she realizes that he's never seen her under this harsh light. She brings her hands up to her body, folds into herself.

He notices, "Oh no you don't, come on," he pushes her arms out of the way and smiles to himself, "You are incredibly sexy, you know that. It's kinda why I haven't been able to get my thoughts straight for one second."

"Jackson, what are you doing?" She asks him, now slightly exasperated with his behavios. She didn't need him feeling guilty about not having said these things before. Or worse, saying them out of pity.

"Right now? Choosing between your bunny PJs and the unicorn ones," He's holding up two different pairs, glancing between them, "Bunny! It's better than the rainbow vomit explosion you've got going here."

He tosses her unicorn pajamas on the bed, and walks up to her. She holds her arms out, and he begins to dress her, concentrating on his task.

"Jackson? You didn't answer my question." She points out, as he pulls the pants over her hips.

"Adorable. Now you're just missing bunny ears." He grins.

"Jackson!" She huffs frustratedly, crossing her arms in front of her.

"I'm trying to show you that this is the girl I slept with in San Francisco, and wanted to continue sleeping with after that. Not whoever it is you feel you have to be to impress me or some shit," He pulls her on her feet, and takes her hair out of her bun, running his hands through the freed curls, "I think you're gorgeous at 10 in the night, after a long shift, in bunny pajamas and no makeup. Do you know why?"

She shakes her head.

"It's because this is you, April. I like you. This you. The real you. You don't have to try so damn hard to make me like you, because I like you just fine in your most natural habitat. You're my best friend. I've always liked you, just like this. You don't have to try. Not for me, not for anyone. You just have to be."

She feels tears threaten to fall, but she holds them back up, because she doesn't want him to misinterpret it. Out of all the things he'd told her tonight, that had been the most special. No one has ever in her life told her that she didn't have to try her hardest, bend over backwards, to be liked. That it was enough that she just was herself. He wasn't excusing her, he wasn't denying that she was crazy sometimes and a little neurotic, he was saying it didn't matter because it made her... her, and there was nothing wrong with that. She beamed.

"You're the best best friend anyone could ask for." She tells him, and he laughs.

"We sound like we're 13. I feel like I should go and make you a friendship bracelet." He jokes.

"Well, I actually do have beads and yarn." She tells him, her eyes gleaming.

"Uh, why not?" He shrugs and sits down on the bed, after taking his tie off, and pulling down a couple of buttons.

She brings everything and sets it up on her bed. They begin their tasks, Jackson surprising her with his excellent technique. She figures it has something to do with being a plastic surgeon.

"Hey, Jackson?" She says, and he looks up  at her, "This is the best date I've ever had."

He smiles, and leans forward, "Me too. Wanna do it again sometime?"

Her breath falls short, and it takes her a moment to realize that everything she worried about was for nothing. She needed to work on her insecurities. She knew that. But he gave her a reason to. She didn't suddenly feel perfect, just because he said she was. But, she wanted to. One day. She wanted to because she didn't want to feel like she had to be anything but herself anymore to impress someone. She wanted to because she didn't want to feel like she had to impress someone in the first place.

"I'd love that." She says, and kisses him softly on the lips.

"Now quit distracting me," He waved her off, and falls back down on the bed, "My one is going to be way prettier."

She chuckles, and grins to herself. She needed to be kind to herself, and love herself more. For her, and for him.

Cause I like you

Thank you for reading!

Side Note:I hope none of you wonderful human beings ever have to feel like this. <3

[lisatelramor]

Snitched Spark

Kaito/ Daisuke pairing.  ...I did say I was going to be posting really random fics for a bit ^_^; Daisuke/Kaito for this one. I had a theme for a prompt, but my brain rejected it and wrote this instead, but I'm ok with that.

*

Sparks scattered through the air and Dark whirled away, a growl of frustration in his throat. “Let me steal you!” he yelled. The Latent Guardian didn’t answer with words, but more sparks lit up the night. They were at an impasse and had yet to get close enough to properly see the necklace at all. It was housed in a tower, set in a compartment on top of the roof, around the neck of a statue shaped like the necklace creator’s daughter.

They hadn’t expected any difficulty with this heist. The necklace was a protective amulet—it attacking anyone had never crossed their minds.

“Why is she so angry?” Daisuke asked.

“Hell if I know!” Dark spun to the side of another attack. Usually artworks were glad to be stolen. “Just let me steal you, you gaudy excuse for costume jewelry!”

“Maybe we should ask her?”

“Great idea, Daisuke,” Dark said sarcastically. “Let’s ask the necklace that won’t let us within thirty feet of it what she’s feeling.”

“I don’t hear you having any ideas.”

“Excuse you, I have plenty of ideas, I just have to get close enough to touch the necklace.” Dark had a spell at the ready, waiting to shut it down, but he had to get close enough to use it first. “This is ridiculous.” He urged Wiz up high. Maybe if they landed on top of the tower compartment from above rather than coming at it from the side or an angle?

Dark knew it was a mistake the second they reached the airspace above the tower and felt the fizzle of magic in the air.

“Oh shit,” Dark said right before an arc of sparks clipped him. It surged through him and Wiz both, ripping a pained cry from them as it jittered through their limbs like being hit with real lightning. Dark blinked out and it was suddenly Daisuke and a de-transformed Wiz tumbling through the air.

“Dark—!” Daisuke gasped. He reached for his magic and Dark’s presence, but both skimmed away from his touch. It was like his magic was behind a curtain he couldn’t push away at all. No way to call wings. He screwed his eyes shut and waited for the impact.

Something slammed into him—from the side not the ground—two tight bands, no, two arms, wrapped around his chest and legs as he found himself in a princess carry, Wiz trapped against Daisuke’s stomach.

“Woo, that was close,” a voice said by his ear, words half whipped away with the rush of air around them. “Oof, you’re lucky you don’t weight too much or we’d both be dead.”

Daisuke yelped and opened his eyes to see the underside of a man’s chin and the corner of a manic smile. White top hat, white glider, white suit—the man holding him glanced down. He had the bluest eyes Daisuke had seen outside of Satoshi’s.

“Ugh,” Dark groaned in the back of Daisuke’s mind.

Daisuke flinched. Dark! What the heck happened?!

“The sparks must have shorted out our magic or something. Hold tight for a sec, I’m going to try to fix it.”

Daisuke giggled hysterically. Hold tight? He couldn’t really do anything else at the moment but hold on to his rescuer.

“You okay there?” the man asked.

“Fine!” Daisuke said back, voice too high pitched from stress.

“Kaitou Kid at your service, by the way,” his rescuer said, giving what Daisuke was pretty sure was a wink. “Dark Mousey I presume?”

“Uh.” Panic whirled us in Daisuke’s chest.

“Relax, there is in fact honor among thieves; I’m not going to tell anyone anything. I assume we have the same target tonight though?”

“You’re after the Latent Guardian?”

“Sapphire the size of a pigeon egg set in gold filigree necklace? Rumored to be haunted? Right up my alley.”

Daisuke had heard of Kid—hard not to hear of another phantom thief, but this was the first he’d actually run into him. Kid had left a cryptic note in the paper but Daisuke had assumed he hadn’t shown up when the time indicated came and went. Kid must have been waiting to see if Daisuke showed, or maybe dealing with his police escort first. That’s what Daisuke and Dark had done.

“You know I expected the legendary thief of generations to be a bit more intimidating.” Kid still had a shit eating grin on his face. “Instead I get someone cute.”

Daisuke blushed. “Oh hell no,” Dark growled in the back of his head, doing whatever it was he was doing faster. Daisuke tried to say something, but what came out instead was “Look out!” as he caught sight of more reddish purple sparks coming their way.

Kid’s grin went brittle as he banked to the side. “What the hell is that?”

“The Latent Guardian!” Daisuke said. He clung to Kid’s shoulders, Wiz getting even more squished. Tiny claws pricked his belly. It was a lot more disorienting to be flying in someone else’s control. “She’s angry. Don’t let the sparks touch you; they’re what knocked me out of the sky.”

“What do they do?” Kid asked, all business now.

“Well, I’m not sure, but they knocked out my wings.” And knocked out his magic.

“Right.” Kid swooped in a dive and back up to circle higher on an updraft. He used a glider in a way that shouldn’t be possible, more like a hawk than something tied to gravity. Daisuke wondered if he had his own magic. “I’m not sure what your wings are made of, but I’m guessing my glider won’t be much better if it gets hit.” He glanced at Daisuke again and shifted his grip so he was holding more securely. “Better hold on tight.” That time Daisuke was sure it was a wink even though Kid’s voice was still serious.

“Ha!” Dark said in the back of Daisuke’s mind, and suddenly he wasn’t in the back of his mind, Dark was outside and Daisuke was inside and Kid was dropping fast as he held a much larger Dark in his arms. “Oi! Watch the hands! And keep your paws off my property!”

“I’m not your property!” Daisuke yelped. As good as, Dark shot back.

“I wasn’t expecting to be holding a grown man!” Kid grouched right back. They flailed a bit more in midair, losing altitude until Dark wormed free with an elbow to Kid’s face.

“Wiz!” Dark called, Wiz changing to Dark’s wings again. Both thieves banked hard to avoid a scatter of sparks.

Kid came back up rubbing at his jaw. “Wow, what a way to thank someone for saving you.” He scowled. “The actual Dark, then?”

“The one and only,” Dark said with a smug grin. “Not that you’d know anything about that, copycat Kid.”

“Excuse me, I’m not the one who keeps popping up every twenty some years.” He seemed pretty calm for someone who had just seen Daisuke transform. He didn’t seem too put off by the sparks getting thrown their way either.

Dark wasn’t sure if that meant that Kid had seen this sort of thing before or if he just had a real good poker face. “Not sure what the sparks’ll do to you, but you should probably avoid them. They hurt like heck even without the magic canceling effect.”

“Good thing I don’t have magic to cancel,” Kid said.

“Really now, Mr. Moonlight Magician?”

“It’s sleight of hand,” Kid groused back. “Any good thief doesn’t need to rely on actual magic.” He side eyed Dark.

Dark made a face. “I’m insulted you think all I use is magic. Almost no magic is involved except for my wings.” And, well, himself, but that was kind of a given.

Kid snorted. They were circling outside the attack range for the moment at least, so there was nothing to dodge. “What exactly are we working with here?”

“The Latent Guardian, necklace made by Hikari Keiko, originally created as protection for her daughter. Apparently an aggressive fuck!” Dark yelled in the necklace’s direction. “The sparks temporarily stop magic and hit like electricity.”

“Okay, protective amulet—what was it made to protect from?”

That...was a good question actually.  “Threats?” Dark hazarded. “I don’t know.”

“Well it must feel threatened if it’s attacking,” Kid said back.

“She,” Dark corrected. “The Latent Guardian is a she.”

Kid shot him a narrow-eyed look. “She doesn’t go by Pandora by any chance?”

“What? No, she’s the Latent Guardian; that is her name. Unless she’s decided to go by some kind of nickname.”

“Oh, good. She doesn’t glow red in the moonlight or cry in the presence of a comet?”

Dark stared at the thief, hovering in place for a moment. “Hell no. What the heck kind of thing do you think she is?”

“Then she’s not the gem I’m looking for.”

“She’s not a gem, she’s a work of art that happens to have a gem.”

“There’s a difference?”

“Yes!” It shouldn’t bother him, but it did a little. The personhood of works of art was thin enough without someone thinking of them as one piece rather than the whole. That would be like calling the stone in the Agate Links Menou when she had been possessing the necklace as a whole.

Kid managed to give the impression of shrugging even though it wasn’t possible with the glider. He circled closer, within the circle and there were no warning sparks.

“Oh!” Daisuke perked up in Dark’s mind. “Dark, we’re threats!”

“No shit, we’re trying to steal it,” Dark muttered.

“No, so is Kid, but he’s not getting sparked. The necklace is a Hikari work meant to protect a Hikari child. Dark, the Niwa family is a threat to the Hikari family.”

“Well crap.” That made a certain amount of sense. It also meant that there would be no way of getting close to it. “Now what?”

A second later, Kid called, “I think she’s only targeting you!”

“Yeah, just figured that out too,” Dark called back.

“I can see if she’ll let me steal her?” Kid offered. “Can she be reasoned with?”

“Probably?”

“Great!” He flew toward the tower.

“Oi!” Dark called after him. He was ignored. Dark edged toward the edge of the necklace’s range. A few sparks flickered like a warning in his direction. “Do you really think he’s going to steal the necklace and give it to us?” Dark asked Daisuke.

“Well, Kid doesn’t really keep what he steals,” Daisuke said. “So maybe?”

“What the hell does he get out of it though?”

He got the mental equivalent of a shrug back. They watched, tense and frustrated, as Kid landed on the tower with no trouble at all. They could see his mouth moving, but they were too far away to make out whatever he was saying. After a moment, his hand came out of the compartment with a glimmer dangling from his hand.

“Huh.” It felt too easy. Come to think of it, what had happened to all the police? Dark had left traps for the officers following him, but what about the ones that had to be following Kid?

“There were a lot of traps,” Daisuke said, though he sounded doubtful that they would have caught everyone.

No matter, though. They weren’t there to interfere and that was enough.

Kid glided back in Dark’s direction. The necklace in his hand stayed quiet and spark free even as the distance closed between them. “Land?” Kid called.

Dark headed for the open courtyard beneath the tower where there was more than enough room for Kid to land safely. Both thieves landed deceptively lightly, though it had to be a heck of a lot harder for Kid to pull off with a glider than it was for Dark borrowing Wiz’s wings.

“This has to be one of the weirder moments of my life,” Kid said conversationally as he straightened, glider folding away by some unseen mechanism to leave behind a white cape. The Latent Guardian was held out in front of him, still dangling from its chain. It glowed slightly, an arc of light the same color of the sparks dancing over its surface. Kid wrinkled his nose slightly, disrupting the otherwise perfect mask of smug confidence. “She is really loud in my head,” he said, “and doesn’t like you at all.”

“What, so she’d rather stay on a statue all alone or go with you?” Dark crossed his arms. Wiz clung to his shoulder, muzzle peeking over it to watch with bright eyes.

“No, she’ll go with you. She’d just really unhappy about it,” Kid said. He grimaced as another ripple of light and a few tiny sparks leapt off the necklace’s surface. “Also, she says you won’t be able to use magic at all when you’re holding her. I’m pretty sure she was made specifically to cancel you out.”

“Of course she was,” Dark grumbled. He held out a hand. “Welcome to the family, Latent Guardian. Emiko’s gonna love you.” Kid passed over the chain, and the second it touched Dark’s skin, he and Wiz shrank into Daisuke again.

Daisuke took the chain from Kid. The Latent Guardian had an almost burning presence in his hand and brushed roughly against his mind like sandpaper against balsa wood. “Ow. Please don’t. I have no intention of hurting anyone from the Hikari family.  Actually, I’m friends with one of them, so please don’t get angry.” The presence pulled back, but Daisuke got the distinct impression of skepticism from it. He sighed, relieved. “Thank you. And thank you,” he added, looking at Kid.

“A day’s work for a gentleman thief,” Kid said with a theatrical bow that made his cape flutter. He was back to being borderline flirtatious again. “If I could ask for a favor in return?”

“Depends on the favor.” Daisuke gripped the Latent Guardian’s chain tighter, just in case Kid decided to take her back if he didn’t agree to whatever the favor was.

“Keep and eye and ear out for a gem called Pandora.” Kid straightened. His smirk fell away to something more serious, light reflecting off his monocle and making his expression less readable. “It’s a gemstone of some sort, will glow red in the moonlight, and is rumored to grant immortality.”

“Rumored to grant immortality,” Dark echoed. “Wonder what he wants that for. Sounds like bad news.”

“I don’t expect you to steal it,” Kid continued. “Just if you hear of it, pass it along. There’s some nasty people trying to get their hands on it, and it just wouldn’t be right for them to steal such a lovely sparkly thing like that before I could.” He smiled, but Daisuke was willing to bet that inside he was the furthest from smiling he’d been the whole evening.

“Dark?” Daisuke whispered.

“...Not very likely we’re going to hear of it, and he did pass back the necklace. Didn’t even try to use her as a bargaining chip. I don’t see why not.”

“Okay,” Daisuke said louder. “We’ll keep an eye out for Pandora.”

A much more genuine smile softened Kid’s expression. He bounced on the balls of his feet. “Great!”

Daisuke had a split second to wonder what the hell was happening before the other thief was in his personal space and kissing him on the cheek. Daisuke squeaked, gripping the Latent Guardian’s chain so hard it was cutting into his fingers.

“Thank you for the lovely evening,” Kid purred, “despite the gem not being the target I was after. We’ll have to keep in touch, one thief to another.”

“Ah...eh?” Daisuke said, unable to do much more than make increasingly embarrassing squeaky sounds. His face felt like it was on fire.

Kid winked and then there was a burst of smoke like something out of a bad ninja movie. When it cleared, Kid was gone.

“...What just happened?” Daisuke asked the empty air.

“I’m going to punch that guy if we see him again,” Dark said. “In the face.”

“Why did he...? Why.”

“Hell if I know. He’s gone now. Though he left you a present...”

At Dark’s mental nudge, Daisuke reached up and pulled a red carnation from behind his ear. It had a slip of paper tied to its stem with a phone number and email address written on it in uniform script. The worst part about it, Daisuke decided, was that he couldn’t tell how serious any of that had been.

“Go home,” Dark advised. “Sleep. It’ll all be like a weird dream tomorrow.”

“Sure.” Daisuke moved toward home on automatic. At least he had the necklace?

“If we see him again, I’m unmasking him just to even the playing field.”

Daisuke thought he heard a faint sneeze in the distance. Oh well. He had the target, he hadn’t been caught by Satoshi, and Mom would probably like the flower just as much as she liked being handed the target.