#❝ Upset the establishment order. ❞ ( SELF. )

[bucks-babe]

Be Mean To Me

Pairing: Bucky x f!reader

Summary: After a long day at work, you just want to lose all control and have your boyfriend fuck you into oblivion 

Warnings: Established relationship, slight angst, fluff, smut, mean!dom!bucky, reader asks for it, they are so in love, rough sex, dom/sub dynamics, oral (male receiving), ball sucking, slapping, spit kink?, degradation, humiliation, name calling (slut, whore, bitch, sugar, good girl), daddy kink, some praise, spanking, pussy slapping (like once), safe word (yellow), vaginal sex, no prep anal, Bucky has a huge dick, choking, aftercare, check-ins, crying during sex, crying after sex, soft!Bucky, no mention of Y/N, no description of reader other than being female

Word Count: 4.9k of mostly smut

A/N: This was very self indulgent. Work has been kicking my ass and I want to be taken care of. Any mistakes are my own. If I missed any warnings please let me know. @bucknastysbabe it's done! I think I should go back to therapy. But hey, smut

You feel your throat tighten as you walk up to the apartment you share with Bucky. It was one of those days that left you beaten down and wanting to curl up under your blankets and cry. You didn’t even want to go into work this morning, having to force yourself to get ready. Too many rude customers, incompetent coworkers giving you more work than you get paid to do, everything leaving you overstimulated and wanting your boyfriend.

It left a craving deep down inside of you, a want that you knew only he could quell. You just wanted to shut your brain off, have Bucky take care of you, ruin you, treat you like a whore, break you down, just to put you back together again.

You swallow the lump in your throat and unlock the front door, finding Bucky on the couch watching some random action movie that he claimed to hate. At the sight of him your body naturally relaxes and the urge to crawl onto his lap is too much to bear.

“Hey, sugar. I’ve been missing you all day. You’ll never fucking believe the video Sam sent me of Tony trying out his new thrusters! He flew rig- What’s wrong?” He perked up at the sound of the door opening, truly missing his girl. Whenever you’re around him his entire day gets better, a lightness filling his chest, but when he sees how run down you are, his heart literally hurts for you. Bucky wants to protect you from everything, from supervillains all the way to spiders in the house.

“Long day, baby. Just wanna be with you.” He opens his arms and you instantly crawl into his lap, eyes burning with tears you refuse to shed. He runs his metal hand up and down your back, pulling you as close to him as possible, while his flesh hand rests on your head, holding you to his neck, letting you breathe him in.

“What can I do for you, sugar? Want to talk about it? I can order from your favorite place. Can run you a bath. Whatever you want, sweet girl.” 

“Please, be mean to me, Bucky.” Bucky feels his heart clench in his chest. He wants to keep your heart safe from whatever it is that is plaguing you, but he knows he can’t. What he can do is follow your request and make you forget.

“How mean do you want me, sugar?” Bucky has done this for you a few times. He always asks how you want him to treat you. It’s in his nature to be sweet to you, fill you with praise, but that's not what you want right now. You want to be degraded and treated like a fucktoy.

“Mean.” You keep your eyes trained on him. This is the only part where you need to keep your head on, make sure that he knows you want this.

“Remember your colors, sugar?” You nob, excitement bubbling up inside of you. “Remember, daddy will only be upset with you if you don’t use them. If you need to say yellow or red, you will.” His tone is final. This is the only way he would ever agree to treating you like a slut.

“Yes, daddy.” And just like that, Bucky’s entire demeanor changes. He goes from your sweet, cuddly boyfriend to a cold and callous body of muscle. 

“Then take your clothes off, slut.” He pushes you off his lap, just hard enough to give the illusion of indifference. As you strip, Bucky keeps his eyes trained on the TV, not paying you any mind. Your core throbs at the fact that you are completely exposed while he is still fully dressed. 

“On your knees.” He’s still not looking at you, but you obey without thought, willing to do whatever he wants. Grabbing the back of your neck, he forces you in between his spread legs, and you whine at the fact that his cock is still soft inside his sweats. Any other day, Bucky would make sure that your knees were never on the hardwood floor without a pillow or something soft underneath, but not today.

On days like these, when you want to feel completely submissive, it takes Bucky a while to get aroused. It’s in his nature to love up on you, make you drunk with pleasure in the sweetest way possible. He feeds off of your energy. When he is sure that you are having fun, his body lets himself fall into his role.

“What? You think at the first signs of some tits I’m gonna get hard? I knew you were a dumb slut but I didn’t realize just how thick you were.” Your pussy was absolutely pulsing with need. With his hand still on the back of your neck, he rubs your face against his crotch, feeling his cock begin to harden at the smell of your arousal.

He pulls you back far enough to slide his pants down, foregoing boxers, and you immediately try to take his half hard length in your mouth. Before you can process it, Bucky’s right hand lands a slap to your cheek - hard enough to make a welt that will take a few hours to disappear. You gasp and your cunt pulses even harder than before at the sting left on your cheek. 

His metal hand wraps around your chin, much cooler than it’s supposed to be, and forces you to look him in the eye. In the back of your mind you realize that he turned on the cooling function in his arm to sooth your cheek; the arm was built to keep him cool in the Wakandan sun and heat. “Did daddy say you could suck his cock?” He uses his hand to shake your head from side to side, answering for you. “Then keep your slutty mouth shut.”

He spreads his legs wider and pulls your face closer to his heavy sack, already full of cum. “Hands behind your back, and suck on daddy’s balls.” You join your hands together behind your back without question and nuzzle his balls. Wasting no time, you take one into your mouth, sucking feverishly, enjoying the light dusting of hair tickling your face.

“Oh, fuck, come on, slut, I know you can do better than that. Take ‘em both in your dirty mouth.” He pushes you further into him, cutting off your oxygen, and you swear you hear your slick drip onto the floor. Your jaw aches as you try to get them both in your mouth, but you can't; his balls are too big. Bucky ruts against your face, squishing his balls, precum leaking from his tip, dripping onto his stomach after he takes his shirt off.

With your limited amount of movement, you alternate between each ball, licking at the seam. Every time you switch balls, you feel the other drag wetly across your face and you have to clench your legs in an attempt to quell the ache between them while fighting with your need for air. “Such a dirty bitch, lapping at your daddy’s nuts, shit.” He pulls you back just as your head starts to go fuzzy from the lack of oxygen, and you gasp for air, spit is covering the lower half of your face and is dripping down your neck and chest; Bucky feels his cock throb at the sight.

Reaching out, Bucky smears your spit around your face and leaves another, weaker smack to your cheek before he grabs his cock and uses his weeping tip to tease you, dragging it on your face. “What a nasty fucking bitch, drooling all over the place just from sucking some balls.” He slaps your cheeks with it a few times before forcing your head down all the way, making you gag and you immediately pull off, coughing.

He stares into your eyes, cold and calculating, waiting for you to speak. When your coughing subsides you manage to get out a hoarse ‘green,’ giving him the all clear. He takes your head and once again makes you take his cock, this time much slower and not as deep, the first time he wanted to fuck with you. “Such a perfect fucking mouth, shit.” He stops you from bobbing your head, “Stop being such a desperate whore and let daddy finish his movie.” You're sure you’re leaking onto the floor at this point.

You are able to see his face and he looks wrecked, mouth hanging open and head back; he’s not watching shit. Nonetheless, you rest your head on his thigh, getting comfortable, spreading your legs out to get closer to the floor so your head won't be bent at an awkward angle, ignoring the pain in your knees and the ache in your jaw. 

The only sounds filling the room are Bucky’s ragged breathing and the movie playing in the background. There is saliva everywhere, his cock, all over his balls, down to his ass and on the couch. His cock is constantly leaking precum into your mouth but you don’t swallow, letting his taste linger on your tongue. 

This isn’t what you wanted, you wanted him to demolish you. Sitting with his cock in your mouth is giving you too much time to think, so you do what any sane person would do - be a brat. At the first suckle, Bucky lets out a broken moan, at the second, he knows what you’re up to. Flicking your ear with his metal hand he hisses, “Don’t make me punish you, bitch.” At the third, he yanks you off of his dick, a trail of drool and precum keeping the two of you connected, as slaps you once again with his flesh hand, this time not soothing the marred flesh with his metal hand.

He stands and kicks the couch out of the way and pulls you with him by the neck. “You disobedient little-” he cuts himself short at the small puddle of slick that he finds from your previous position. “Is that what I think it is?” You only whine in response, his grip on your neck never faltering. 

With his free hand, he reaches down to your pussy to feel just how wet you are, confirming his suspicions. “What a dirty fucking slut, leaking all over my floor.” He pulls you in closer to him just to whisper, “Lick it the fuck up, bitch,” before pushing you to the ground. 

Your knees hit the wood hard and pain runs up your spine. You ignore the ache and brainlessly lap at your juices on the floor before Bucky smushes your cheek against the puddle and you moan. “Messy bitch, you are? Cunt is pulsing, waiting for my dick. Too bad I have to punish you, isn’t it, slut?” He leans down to the floor, eyes lined up with yours. “Daddy is going to give you ten spanks and I want you to count them.” You don’t respond immediately, stuck in a sort of limbo, drawn in further at the softness in his eyes.

No matter how hard he tries, Bucky can’t hide his devotion to you, that’s why he doesn’t let you look at him when he needs to play this role. His whole face softens at your silence, fearing he’s gone too far. “Color, sugar.” Stroking your cheek, he leans in closer, breathing you in.

“Green, daddy, so green.” The sigh Bucky lets out is audible and he feels ten times lighter.

“Good girl, you want to keep going the way we were?” Even though you said green, he wants to be certain.

“Yes please, daddy, want you to be mean.” You look so small and soft. Bucky struggles to put his facade back up, but he knows you need this.

Bucky positions himself behind you, staring at your ass and glistening pussy, and feels his cock bounce. The first slap isn’t soft by any means, you know there will be a handprint left. Your body jolts and Bucky groans at the jiggle of your ass. “One.” The second is on your other cheek and makes you clench around nothing. “Two.” He lands the next two much harder on the same cheek and you feel tears form in your eyes, yet continue to count, digging your nails into your palm.

He repeats the two spanks to your left cheek and takes a break to sooth your heated and raised skin with his metal hand after you’ve counted. The ground beneath your cheek is hard and unforgiving, leaving you neck bent at an odd angle. Spank seven lands on the back of your right thigh and somehow feels much stronger. “Shit! Seven, daddy.” Eight is on your left, and is just as hard. Your entire lower body aches: cunt pulsing and throbbing for his cock, thighs burning, and ass red and raw, sobbing with every impact.

“These last two are going to be harder, slut, since you forgot to count.” Even with his warning, you aren’t prepared. They are hard and fast, hearing them before you feel them, knocking the breath out of you, and you try to scramble up, but Bucky holds you down. “Don’t run away from me, you know better.” All of a sudden, the sharpest and most excruciating pain blooms from your cunt, and then you hear the wet smack of his metal hand hitting your core. 

You wail, body shooting up, legs fighting to close to soothe the sting left. Before you can, Bucky’s hand on the back of your head keeps you to the ground, while he slams his cock into your cunt, not stopping to let you adjust. “That’s it, fuck. Such a good pussy. Dirty fucking bitch.” You can’t breathe, his cock is knocking all of the air out of your lungs. The only sounds in the room are Bucky’s moans and the wet slapping of skin, his heavy balls banging against your sore clit. With each thrust you’re sure he’s hitting your cervix.

The hand on the back of your head leaves to grab your hip, letting him fuck you even faster, the both of you sliding further and further on the floor. You try to brace yourself with your hands, but the brutality of his fucking is no match. “Daddy, fuck, s-so g-good, please!” You don’t know what you’re begging for, but your cunt is pulling him in, barely letting him pull out.

Bucky is practically chasing you on the floor, hips never slowing down, eyes trained on your pussy, loving the creamy white mess on his dick. “Fuuuck, look at the ass bouncing on daddy’s cock, shit! Love the way this fat fucking ass looks when its all red and sore.” He’s in heaven, with the tight clench of your cunt wrapping around his cock, making him feel crazy.

“Daddy! I can’t, f-fuck, please, too much!” You’re fucking delirious with pleasure, feeling something twisting inside of you. You searched for something to hold on to, only finding smooth surface, legs locking, body seizing up.

“You can and you will take this dick, bitch. I don’t care if it makes you fucking bleed.” The pressure in your core builds tighter and tighter, all the while, Bucky’s hips never falter, sack still ramming against your clit.The breath is knocked out of you when you feel the most intense orgasm of your life pass through you.

Keening and wailing, you squirt on Bucky’s cock, the sounds of your fucking somehow getting even more wet until the force of your orgasm pushes his cock out. Your body is left twitching. There is a much larger puddle on the floor now - your cum. Bucky could fucking cum at the sight of your pathetic body laying on the ground, body wrought with pleasure. “Fuck, sugar! That was so fucking hot! You squirted all over, shit! I fucking love you so goddamn much.” 

The entire lower half of his body is covered with your cum and Bucky swears he can feel his heartbeat in his cock. Nonetheless, he wraps his arms around your waist and hulls you over to where he kicked the couch, placing your upper half on the cushions. “You’re so fucking wet now I bet I could slide right into that tight ass, what do you think, slut?” Your core pulses at the thought of his fat cock in your ass, the two of you don’t usually do anal, given how big he is, but you can’t think straight, especially after cumming so hard.

“Yes, daddy. I want your big cock in my ass, want you to fill me up.” Bucky groans at the thought of his excessive load running out of your ass. Leaning back, he ruts against your pussy, gathering more of your slick, before spreading your cheeks with his hands, staring at your puckered hole. He lines his cock up and watches as precum leaks from his tip.

His cock is huge, much longer and thicker than average, and he knows it. Grabbing himself near his tip, he pushes, grunting at the resistance, knowing that this would be much easier if he takes the time to prep you, but you want to be treated like a whore. “You gotta loosen the fuck up, bitch or else I’ll really fucking hurt you. Want this fucking ass so bad, better let daddy in. Cock is too big for this little ass, isn’t it, gonna split you in half, leave you leaking for days.” 

He pushes harder, tip finally popping in, causing searing pain to shoot through you. Crying out, you try to pull forward to escape the burning pain, wiggling further into the couch. Bucky leans over, careful not to push in any further, he knows you need a moment, any other time you would have been fully prepped and he would have slid right in, and wraps his metal hand around your neck, shushing you, “Shhhh, stop being so dramatic.” 

After a few minutes, the pain begins to subside and your breathing calms down. Keeping his hand around your throat, he pushes in, inch by inch, and the pain comes back. You whine into the cushion, every new inch burning more than the last until his hips are flush with your ass. “What the fuck?! Your ass is so fu-fucking tight, shit! Fucking milking my cock, wanna pound this little hole, wanna fucking ruin you.”

Burying his face in the back of your neck, Bucky was taking deep breaths, completely out of it. He wasn’t thinking straight, not when your tight hole was hugging every inch of his cock. You on the other hand, were struggling, it was too much too fast. It fucking hurt, there were tears in your eyes, but your pussy was aching like it wanted more. Your clit throbbed with need, even when your ass was stretched to the brim.

You didn’t want to stop, but you needed a break, before Bucky could move his hips you muttered, “Yellow, daddy, yellow.” The hand on your neck left and Bucky maneuvered his upper body so that he could look you in the eye without moving his cock. His entire demeanor was different, back was your sweet, caring boyfriend. 

“Good girl, daddy’s so proud of you for using your safe word. Shhh, it’s okay, sugar. Do you just need a second to breathe? Take your time, if you need to stop I will.” Bucky caresses your face as he soothes you, bringing you back down. His cock is still buried to the hilt in your ass, driving him insane. He wants to rail you so fucking bad, tip of his cock probably purple by now, but he would never do anything you didn’t want to, more than willing to sit with his cock inside of you until you’re ready or decide to stop.

You don’t know how much time passes, but eventually, you loosen up and your mind goes fuzzy once again, desperate for him to move. You wiggle your hips, rocking back and forth, instead of pain, blinding pleasure courses through you. “Green, daddy. I’m ready, just needed to get used to your fat cock, want you to pound into me.” Bucky lets out the most sinful groan and stills your hips with his hands.

He starts out slow, easing you into his motions, gradually gaining speed and force the louder your moans get. “Daddy, faster, please, harder, feels so good!” You were practically sobbing, loving the way he was splitting you open. His hips and thighs were wet from when you squirted on him, slapping against your ass, everytime he pulled back a vulgar shlick sound could be heard.

He fucked you faster and harder, staring at where you were connected. “This fucking ass feels incredible. Taking me so well, knew you could do it, fuck. Splitting your tiny ass in half. Oh God!” He could feel his orgasm building up, fighting it off everytime his cum filled sack slapped against your pussy. Letting go of your hips he snarled, “Show daddy how much of a fucking slut you are and bounce that fat ass on his cock.”

You whined, but complied anyway, digging your toes into the floor to get more leverage to keep slamming back on his cock. The sounds of skin slapping and both of your moans completely drowned out the ending of Bucky’s movie, not that either of you cared. Panting and moaning, you kept working yourself on him, feeling another orgasm bubbling up.

Meeting your thrusts, Bucky was rambling, not having one coherent thought in his head, “Look at that, give me that ass, yes! Don’t you dare fucking stop, bitch, want you to milk this cock. Love the way it fucking bounces, never seen anything like it, oh fuck!” He was getting whiny, high pitched moans falling from his lips. He couldn’t help it, his cock was too fucking sensitive and you felt too good. 

“M Gonna cum, daddy! Can I cum?” Bucky practically growls, getting up to his feet to squat, not missing a beat while still trusting in you. Every time his pelvis met your ass he whined and whimpered, loving the way it jiggled. He could feel you clenching around him, drawing his own orgasm closer.

“Not until I do. Fucking hold it, bitch.” It seemed impossible, but Bucky fucked you even faster, his hips moving at a ferocious speed. He wanted to cum so fucking bad and your high pitched moans were about to make him bust. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. I’m gonna fucking nut. You want daddy to fill your ass up, huh? God! Fuck, I’m splitting you in two. Uhhh. Balls are so heavy, so much cum. Fuuuuuuck. Daddy’s gonna fill you up, have you leaking.”

His hand wraps around your throat and chokes you, hips still smashing against yours, your orgasm barely being held in. You try to talk, get him to let you cum, but no words come out. Bucky felt his orgasm approach, balls pulling up, “Shiiit, daddy’s gonna cum, gonna flood your ass, you ready, cum with your daddy. Right. Fucking. Now.” Bucky cums with a long, drawn out moan. The feeling of his endless load pouring into your ass sends you over the edge and you cum so hard your vision goes black for a second. Waves upon waves of pleasure coursing through you. Bucky’s hips jerk involuntarily, prolonging both of your orgasms. 

As you both catch your breaths, you feel Bucky begin to soften inside of you, still plugging your hole, stopping his cum from leaking back out. “You were so good for me, sugar. I’m so proud of you.” At those words you feel your bottom lip begin to tremble. Burying your face into the cushions, a sob escapes your throat, all of your emotions finally bubbling over.

Running his hands up and down your back, Bucky soothes you. This was always his least favorite part, seeing you cry. He knows that you’re crying isn’t because of him, but there is always a twinge of fear that shoots through his body, scared that he went too far with you. Bucky pulls out as gently as he can, hissing when the air touches his spent dick, and moves to rest his back against the couch, pulling you into his lap.

Neither of you care that his cum is leaking all over. Bucky will clean the room later, after he takes care of his sweet girl. You cling to him as you sob into his neck, his hands massage your sore cheeks as he whispers in your ear, “Such a good girl for me, you made me feel so fucking good. Can’t even begin to explain how good you felt. There you go, let it out. I’m right here.”

Carefully, he picks you up and carries you to the bathroom. When he tries to set you down you just cling on harder to him, not wanting to leave his embrace. “I gotta draw us a bath, sugar. You know you have to pee, I’ll be right here when you’re done.” You hesitantly let him go while he draws the bath, putting in your favorite oils. After you pee and wipe, he helps you up so you can wash your hands before sitting you both in the tub.

Bucky sits against the wall of the tub and you curl further into his lap, not wanting any space in between you. Somehow you still aren’t close enough to him, wanting to be surrounded completely by him. Tears are still leaking down your face and even with Bucky’s consuming presence, you can’t seem to pull yourself up to the surface. Bucky’s arms are wrapped around you, making sure that you are as close as possible without him being inside of you.

“Sweets, can you look at me? Want to see those pretty eyes.” You can hear the concern in Bucky’s voice, but you can’t bring yourself to move away. He’s your safe space and you just want to bask in his warmth. “Sweets, please. Can you tell me how you feel? I need to know you’re okay.” You don’t know why that set you off, but all of a sudden more tears escape you, sobs fighting to make their way out.

Bucky’s entire world stops, fear shoots up his spine. He doesn’t know if he could live with himself if he hurt you, if he did something that you didn’t want. He knows that you asked him to treat you like a whore, but what if you didn’t want him to go as far as he did? You used your safe word when it got to be too much, but what if you really wanted to say red, not yellow, but wanted to please him, or felt like you had to please him. “Sweetheart, did I hurt you? Did I go too far? Please talk to me.”

Even though you didn’t want to talk, you could hear that he was about to cry. “I’m okay. Just love you so much.” You could feel Bucky relax under you.

“You sure, sweets? I’ve never seen you like this before.” While some of his fears subsided, Bucky was still worried about you.

Picking your head up so you could look him in the eye, you saw just how scared Bucky truly was. “I promise, Buck, I loved every second of it. You made me feel so good and cared for. No one has ever made me feel the way you do.” Bucky closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall. At that moment, Bucky understood why aftercare was so important. Of course he knew you needed to be taken care of so that you knew how much he loved you, but hearing those words come out of your mouth made him feel loved in a way he didn’t know was possible. 

Before the water gets cold you’ve stopped crying, making Bucky feel much better and he washes the sweat and spit off of your face and body, being extra careful with your sensitive pussy and ass. All the while whispering sweet nothings into your ear while you take turns kissing each other all over.

Bucky feels ten times lighter when he gets a giggle out of you. He knows that there will be days when you need him to treat you like a slut, but you know how much he loves and respects you. He lays you on the bed before grabbing your favorite lotion to put on, being extra careful when it comes to your sore ass, placing kisses in each spot after he's rubbed in the lotion.

 The marks on your face are gone by now, but Bucky still fusses over your skin care routine, knowing you don’t have the energy to complete it. After taking care of you, he climbs into bed and covers the both of you up, still naked but you don’t care. Bucky reaches into the bedside drawer and grabs some chocolate while you feed it to each other. Neither of you say much, but nothing needs said. 

You place kisses on his chest and arms, anywhere that you can reach, trying to let him know how much you appreciate him - Bucky knows. You fall asleep first, not being able to keep your eyes open any longer, Bucky moves you to his chest, cocooning you into him before he falls asleep, your head tucked carefully under his chin, legs tangled together, completely protected by him.

[just4koo]

perfect for you - jjk.

summary: it’s so rare that your boyfriend makes a mistake. so when he does, it’s a hard reminder for both of you that he’s not perfect, he’s human. but if anything, he’s perfect for you.

word count: 3.1k

genre/warnings: established relationship, angst, comfort, both jk and reader are whipped for each other!!, a lot of self-deprecating thoughts, it has a cute ending but hurts my heart (most of it is just jk feeling shitty for his mistake) :(

——————————————————————————

There was one thing your boyfriend hated most in the world, and it was seeing you upset. Whether it was for something simple like the gas station being out of your go-to drink or something much worse - if he was the reason. You were the light of his life, and just seeing a frown on your pretty face was enough to make his heart shatter into millions of pieces.

That's why he always did everything in his power to keep you happy. Surprise you every week with one of your favorite snacks, leave a bouquet of flowers at your work desk, cook you your favorite dinner. He did it all just so he could keep you happy. Because when you were happy, everything was right in his world.

Tonight had been one of the nights he was planning on having a small date with you. The new horror movie that you had been raving about was finally out on streaming services and you had been looking forward to this movie night for the whole week. You even decided to take off work a couple hours early because this time you wanted to be the one to treat your boyfriend.

He was always the giver of the relationship. Even though you felt bad many times because you felt like you didn't give nearly as much as he did, he was always there to console you. Reassure you that receiving your love was the only gift he could ever want.

Even though you hated to admit it, sometimes it was hard to remember that your boyfriend of 2 years isn't perfect. He makes mistakes too, and that's completely fine. It's just hard to face.

You were excited for the evening when you got the text from Jungkook that he was on the way to his boxing lesson and would be back home in an hour and a half. Your boyfriend was definitely a busy man, but that never once bothered you. He put so much passion and work into his profession, he deserved everything he'd earned up to his day. So besides the fact that you were a little dejected when he added boxing lessons onto his long list of things to do, you supported him just like you always did. After all, no matter how many things he’d taken onto his plate, he always found a spot to fit you in. Made one if he had to.

When you received the text you were in the middle of setting up the house. You may have taken the idea of treating him a bit overboard, but you didn't care. This was only a portion of what he did for you, and you could spontaneously treat him just like he did with you. You weren't doing anything too extravagant, but you wanted to have a nice night in with him.

You took the liberty of cooking your own food instead of ordering out, which had been a bit of a challenge. After almost burning yourself with the oil more than just a few times, the fried chicken had turned out a beautiful golden brown. You spent the time searching through the internet to find the perfect sauce recipe that replicated one from his favorite fried chicken restaurant.

You had even decided to set up a cozy setup on the couch. Laying out fuzzy blankets along with snacks you had gotten from the convenience store down the street, you were pretty much ready for a long night in with your boyfriend. Due to your flexible workdays, you went in fairly late the next day so you could stay up late to watch the movie and maybe even a couple episodes of the true crime series you had both got invested in. You knew that he would want to take a shower when he got back from his boxing practice so you even laid out a fresh towel and pair of pajamas for him in the bathroom so he wouldn't have to do any unnecessary work.

You finished the food right on the dot, at the exact time that he always came back from his practices. You sat down on the couch with a content smile. The air smelled of the delicious fried chicken that you had set out on two different plates and the movie was pulled up on the TV.

All you had to do at this point was wait for your handsome boyfriend to come through the door so you could finally give him some of the treatment that he always graced you with. You glanced down at your phone to slightly frown at the time. It was 10 minutes past when he usually came home, but you decided to just shrug it off. It was a Friday and traffic got bad sometimes.

That was the excuse that you tried to use until the time had soon hit 9:30. You were borderline worried at this point, because there were no texts from him or updates on anything that was happening. You were wondering if he was even safe at this point, but the worry had faded away when you checked and confirmed that he was still at the gym. Sometimes you felt a bit bad for invading his privacy and checking his phone location, but in situations like this you couldn't help yourself. You never doubted him or his loyalty, but this was just a matter of concern.

When the clock hit 9:55, you were instead becoming upset. He was almost an hour late on coming home and there had been no texts or calls from him telling you why he was at the gym this late. His phone was obviously on, you had even sent a couple of texts asking if he was alright. All to receive no reply from him.

Did he really not remember? Not even after you had spent the whole week only talking about this one night and how much you were looking forward to this? You would be a bit less upset if he even bothered to text you and tell you why he was running so late, but you had received no communication.

It was when 10:15 hit that you were done waiting. You had grown too upset over this, and sitting on the couch while blinking away your tears wasn't going to fix anything. After eating your plate of the now slightly soggy fried chicken you had made over an hour ago, you were retiring to the bedroom.

If he wanted to be over an hour late home and not text you once, he could come home to a quiet house. With a shaky sigh you slipped off the matching pajamas you had been waiting to wear and instead changed into one of your oversized sleep shirts before crawling into the cold bed and curling up with a pillow, shutting your eyes.

--

Jungkook knew he fucked up. It was something that he usually never did when it came to you because being the cause of your distress was the last thing he would ever want. He had been so stressed with his upcoming photoshoots for his solo dropping in a month that he had been spending extra time at the gym. He wanted to be in shape for the photoshoots, especially since it had been long since he had any major media uploads.

After spending around 6 months being inactive while his older bandmates had gone to the military, he had fallen out of his normal habits. Not that he gained a huge amount of weight, he just wasn't satisfied with how the break changed him. Which was the reason he had spent so much time at the gym.

Not that he was ever expecting to spend an extra hour at the gym. He hadn't meant to, getting distracted in all the drills that his instructor was teaching him. He should've trusted the off feeling in his gut when it came, telling him that he had forgotten something.

There was one major problem with this gym he went to - the service absolutely sucked. After hitting send on a text at 9:00 that he would be spending extra time at the gym, he hadn't spent the few seconds to make sure the text went through and therefore missed the error on the screen. Even though the bad reception wasn't his fault, his heart still dropped when he left the gym and saw his notifications.

At first he wasn't that worried because he remembered the terrible reception, but then it dawned on him. One of the texts you sent him had something about you waiting with the movie ready. His eyes widened as he looked at the screen and he could physically feel his heart dropping to his stomach.

How could he forget? You had been talking about this date night all week, saying it was the one thing you were looking forward to it. And he forgot all about it and instead to take extra time at the gym. Without even letting you know, because the stupid message didn't even send through.

After he read your messages he was instantly sending replies, hurried apologies and telling you that he would be home soon. He practically sprinted to his car and threw his gym bag into the passenger seat, barely taking the time to buckle up before he sped off.

His mind was racing at the moment, beating himself down for forgetting. Since messing up was something that Jungkook practically never did, whenever he made a mistake he was always beating himself up for it. Repeatedly calling himself a dumbass as he sped through the streets at 10:40.

He had rushed so much that he left his bag in the car, only grabbing his keys and phone before jamming on the elevator button and impatiently waiting for it to arrive. His foot was repeatedly tapping on the floor, one of his most common displays of distress and anxiety. After what seemed like a 5 minute elevator ride, he was hurriedly running down the hallway and apologizing for almost full on bulldozing a lady who was going the opposite way. He jammed the keys into the door and opened it, his eyes immediately searching for you.

If possible, his heart dropped even more when he saw the scene in front of him. The dim lights were still on as he took in everything you spent time to set up. The blankets on the couch, the movie still pulled up on the TV, the food. His heart was slowly but shattering as he realized that you did this all for him. He even noticed the oil fryer sitting on the kitchen counter with the two plates of next to it, only one plate full. You had even cooked for him? He knew how terrified you were of using the oil frier due to your many attempts at making fries that just ended up in him being forced to handle it.

The most important thing to him at the moment however was the absence of you. You weren't sitting on the couch, standing in the kitchen, or even glaring at him when he came into the house. That was what scared him shitless. After carelessly dropping his keys and phone onto the kitchen counter and slipping off his shoes he was walking straight to the bedroom. Every time he looked at a new spot, he was feeling more and more shitty. You had prepared all of this for him and he basically stood you up.

His frown deepened when he walked into the dark bedroom and made out your figure laying down in the bed cuddling a pillow. You had to go to sleep while hugging something, and that something was usually Jungkook. But tonight you had to use the pillow instead of him because he wasn't there. It should be him holding you right now, but he had missed all of this just because he was worrying about his appearance rather than being with the one person who had full access to his heart and soul.

The only thing on his mind right now was apologizing to you. Telling you that he was an idiot and neglected the most important person in his life. But when he saw your even breathing he paused a bit, heaving a quiet sigh. He was conflicted right now. He didn't want to disturb you, but at the same time he didn't want you waking up the next morning and realizing that he came home and didn't try to apologize to you.

So instead he decided to do something that he knew might wake you up. Whenever he came home late at night from his schedules, you'd always get woken up by him running the shower. Most nights you'd join him, massaging any of the tension he'd collected that day.

He walked into the bathroom and once again winced when he saw the towel and pair of pajamas that you'd laid out for him. It was one of the matching pairs you got for them. Something cheesy you did that he pretended to hate but secretly loved. His bottom lip was slightly quivering when he turned the shower water on and proceeded to get in to wash himself.

A huge part of him was hoping that he would hear the shower door open or feel your gentle hands on his shoulders. But after 10 minutes, nothing happened. So he just decided to get out of the shower and dry himself on, only putting on his boxers since it was usually what he wore to sleep.

Even though you hadn't come to join him in the shower, he could tell that his plan partially worked. Your breathing was no longer leveled out and your position had slightly changed, meaning that you woke up. He could also see a glimpse of your face and your eyes were halfway opened.

He knew that now was his chance to apologize to you for being a shitty boyfriend and forgetting the date that you had planned. He was fully prepared to beg for your forgiveness if he had to, get on his knees, anything. He just didn't want you to be upset or angry.

He slowly sat down on the bed, moving closer towards you as he got under the covers. He cautiously laid a hand on your shoulder and almost let out a sigh of relief when you didn't move or hit his hand away. At least you weren't angry with him.

But he thought that this was worse. You were upset with him, and that meant that you had probably cried. He took your lack of a reaction as an okay to move a bit closer - and so he did. He moved to where he was right behind you, his hand beginning to softly caress the skin of your shoulder.

"Hey Princess, you awake? I'm sorry that I woke you up, but I just wanted to apologize. I know that you don't deserve excuses, and I don't want to give you any. It was completely my fault for forgetting about this date night and I'm so sorry. I know that you've been so excited about this all week and it slipped my mind. I'm so sorry." Jungkook said in one of the most gentlest, softest voices. He was waiting in anticipation for your answer, but felt any hope dissipate from your lack of answer. He fucked up big time, and he felt like he deserved a worst boyfriend ever award.

Knowing better than to push you when you were upset with him, he just settled for placing a small kiss on your shoulder before he moved back to his side of the bed. He stared at the ceiling for a while, wondering if you even wanted him to be in there. He thought that if you didn't want to communicate with him, then you probably wanted your alone time and him to not be in the same room as you.

He was about to get out of the bed to go walk to the living room when he was surprised by a movement from your side of the bed. He was frozen in place when he felt the warmth of your body on his side, one of your arms wrapping around him and your head moving to rest on his chest.

"It's fine." You mumbled simply, which was enough to lift all of the weight off of Jungkook's shoulders and make him feel like he was floating. You weren't ignoring him, and you were the one to reach for him. Even if the tear stains on your cheeks did nothing but make his heart constrict, he pushed any of those feelings away.

He decided against his better judgement to not say anything in response and just hold you. He had already apologized, and you accepted it. He didn't need to say anything else, and so he just wrapped his arms around you. Pulling you closer to him and closing his eyes to fall asleep once he felt your breathing even out once again.

--

It had been hard the night before to stop Jungkook from leaving the bed. You could tell what had been going through his head at the moment and you hated it. The only thing that you didn't like about Jungkook was how hard he was on himself. Not only when it came to work, but also when it came to personal matters.

He was a perfectionist to the core. There had been so many times you had been called by his managers because you were the only one who could drag him out of the practice room. Too many times you had caught him in the bathroom frowning at himself or crying because of a mistake he made on stage.

Your boyfriend only wanted what was best for his fans, to prove to himself and others that he was skilled. So you could tell just from Jungkook's tone and words that he was beating himself up for what he did. He barely ever made mistakes.

There was only one other occasion you could think of a mistake he made before in the three years you had been dating him and 5 years you had known him before that. The only reason that you had been initially so upset was because of this. He never made mistakes, so it was sort of a shock to your system when he did this.

But you had to remind yourself that no matter how perfect he presented himself, your boyfriend was a human. Humans have flaws and make mistakes. Nobody is perfect no matter how hard you try. You had made way more mistakes than he had and each time he was the one comforting you instead of the other way around. Your boyfriend wasn't perfect, but he was perfect for you. You loved him with all of your heart just as he loved you.

[tiniestkitty]

―୨୧⋆ ˚ tips for regressors struggling with depression and anxiety 🌧️

🧸 one thing that has helped me tremendously has been starting a therapy / mental health journal. you can find prompts online, or even come up with your own ! I find tracking my triggers (what makes me feel upset or anxious), reflecting on how I handled my day, writing my thoughts, and what I'd like to bring up in my next therapy session helps me feel a lot better. ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა

-- you can take time to learn about your brain and how it makes choices; for example, learning about and researching your trauma responses, mental illnesses and how to ground yourself during panic attacks. sometimes our brain can make us feel or think things that we can't control, so its important to differentiate between what we are telling ourselves and what our brain is telling us.

🫧 be kind to yourself and take time to rest if you need to. Indulge in things you like and find calming activities to do after a hard day such as coloring, doing a fun craft, playing a video game or using play therapy.

🧸 distance yourself from relationships or people that make you feel uncomfortable or are harmful to your mental health. its not mean to say you need space. you can still be friends and have established boundaries, and if someone dose not respect those boundaries its okay to distance yourself from them or take a break from talking to them until you start to feel better and are more capable of saying how important those boundaries are.

🫧 make sticker charts and schedules ! I have one for brushing my teeth. I also use a fun app on my phone called Pokémon Smile that reminds me to brush and sets a timer. ૮₍ ˃ ᵕ ˂ ₎ა

🧸 find little things to look forward to, like a new movie coming out, a birthday or a Holliday you love. sometimes I order little gifts for myself in the mail after doing a big task or getting trough a hard day hehe ! ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა

🫧 clean your space, and maybe even redecorate a little to give yourself a fresh start 🤍

🧸 find ways to "work around" overwhelming tasks like running errands or going to the doctor by bringing a comfort item or stuffed animal with you. you could keep them in your bag if you are too shy to hold them, but from my experience, no one seems to mind hehe. /lh I also like to pack fidget toys to hold when I get anxious.

note: I'm not a medical professional and I'm just speaking from my experience as someone with generalized anxiety disorder and severe depression. not everything listed here might work for you, but I hope you found this helpful. 💕 /lh

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ extra recourses 🌧️

how to use agere for self care - YouTube

hotline numbers for emergencies - tumbr

inner child healing journal prompts - Silk + Sonder website ( no adds )

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Personality Traits

Raymond Cattell's Trait Theory

Warmth

LOW level of warmth: More likely to be Reserved – detached, critical, aloof, stiff

HIGH level of warmth: More likely to be Outgoing – warmhearted, easy-going, participating

Intellect

LOW: Less Intelligent – concrete-thinking

HIGH: More Intelligent – abstract-thinking, bright

Emotional Stability

LOW: Affected By Feelings – emotionally less stable, easily upset, changeable

HIGH: Emotionally Stable – mature, faces reality, calm

Aggressiveness

LOW: Humble – mild, easily led, docile, accommodating

HIGH: Assertive – aggressive, stubborn, competitive

Liveliness

LOW: Sober – taciturn, serious

HIGH: Happy-Go-Lucky – enthusiastic

Dutifulness

LOW: Expedient – disregards rules

HIGH: Conscientious – persistent, moralistic, staid

Social Assertiveness

LOW: Shy – timid, threat-sensitive

HIGH: Venturesome – uninhibited, socially bold

Sensitivity

LOW: Tough-Minded – self-reliant, realistic

HIGH: Tender-Minded – sensitive, clinging, overprotected

Paranoia

LOW: Trusting – accepting conditions

HIGH: Suspicious – hard to fool

Abstractness

LOW: Practical – “down-to-earth” concerns

HIGH: Imaginative – bohemian, absent-minded

Introversion

LOW: Forthright – unpretentious, genuine but socially clumsy

HIGH: Astute – polished, socially aware

Anxiety

LOW: Self-Assured – placid, secure, complacent, serene

HIGH: Apprehensive – self-reproaching, insecure, worrying, troubled

Open Mindedness

LOW: Conservative – respecting traditional ideas

HIGH: Experimenting – liberal, free-thinking

Independence

LOW: Group-Dependent – a “joiner” and sound follower

HIGH: Self-Sufficient – resourceful, prefers own decisions

Perfectionism

LOW: Undisciplined Self-Conflict – lax, follows own urges, careless of social rules

HIGH: Controlled – exacting will power, socially precise, compulsive

Tension

LOW: Relaxed – tranquil, unfrustrated, composed

HIGH: Tense – frustrated, driven, overwrought

Boiling Down the Traits

In order to scientifically establish a formal framework for understanding personality, Cattell used a statistical technique known as factor analysis.

He started out with a list of 4,500 adjectives that could describe people (taken from the English dictionary).

He then completed a laborious process of grouping these adjectives into 171 ‘clusters’, which were used in a series of studies where people rated others on the traits.

Over a period of several years, Cattell and his team of psychologists then used this data to boil down the set of traits to just 16.

These 16 traits were the smallest number of factors believed to meaningfully describe observable behaviour.

Sources: 1 2

More: On Character Development More: On Psychology

[readychilledwine]

Discipline

✨️Kink Education with Elizabeth✨️

Discipline is a huge part of the Dom/sub dynamic in BDSM. Discipline is the actual act of setting rules and boundaries in place for a sub to follow. Discipline is not punishment, but punishment is a part of the Discipline kink.

Discipline is non-sexual in nature. It could be rules as simple as, "you only wear those heels for me," or "when we interact with this person, you do not do x, y, and z." A huge portion of discipline training is based on accountability from the sub and self reporting. Doms will do check ins when they have time, but a well trained sub will self report any rules they have broken without the dom knowing, and will own the rules they have broken in front of the dom.

Breaking rules is what leads to why you are all here, punishment. Punishment can be a variety of sexual and non sexual acts, but I know a favorite here is impact play, so that is the punishment our dear reader will endure. Punishments are decided by the dom based on which rules were broken, how many were broken, and how much they were broken. Punishments should NEVER be given by a dom in a place of anger. If you enter a BDSM dom and sub relationship and your dom tries to punish you when he is angry, LEAVE. That's not a dom. That's a red flag. Punishment should also never be administered without a conversation being had. The sub needs to know exactly why they are being punished in order to actually learn and be trained.

Now, there is a difference between a punishment and a funishment. Punishment is earned by breaking rules that cause your dom to be upset. It is not something a sub is purposely trying to earn. Funishment, like I used in my azris x reader spanking piece (For Science) is used more in brat taming. Brats like to push their doms buttons as much as possible, toying the line with their doms in hopes of getting a funishment. Doms may seem more upset in a funishment since it is an established part of the dynamic, but funishment is still given with love and care and the safety of the sub in mind.

💕Peep the Valentines Day List Here💕

As always, NSFW below the cut

Helion x Reader

Warnings - impact play as punishment, Beron, jealous LoA, dom/sub dynamics, fingering, bratty behavior towards the end, lack of Helions thighs.

Lady Autumn sent you another glare as you held your husband's, your mate's arm kissing the muscle there gently as you did the best you could to look impassive. 

You knew she and Helion were lovers, that she had risked everything to be with him despite her marriage to the cruel male beside her. That had been over 400 years ago, though. You didn't understand how she couldn't just let him go.

You shifted uncomfortably as her glare began to feel heated. No, it was heated. “Andromeda,” you interrupted Tamlin and Rhysand's lovers spat with her name. “If you attempt to set me on fire, again, I personally will declare war on Autumn. It will be the 4th time in a year. Jealously isn't a good enough reason for a 600 year old female to have less control of her powers than I do. Nor is it a good enough reason to outright attack me and blame a loss of control."

Kal whistled next to you, leaning back as he smirked. Thesan's jaw dropped as Beron's gaze shot your way. “And who the fuck are you to decide that his court is able to go to war?”

“My high lady, mate, wife, general of my armies, and the female who ran my court for 50 years,” Helion turned to Andromeda and Beron. “Leave my mate out of our issues. She wasn't even alive when that all happened. She did not ask to be bound to me. She should not be punished for my transgressions."

Beron turned toward his wife, calming her using their bond, and nodded at you. You felt the embarrassment from Helion hit you full force. It was followed by anger and disappointment. You had taken a calculated risk, putting both her and yourself in danger of your husbands’ rage. You could feel as his fingers twitched, and your thigh was squeezed roughly. You were in for an interesting night.

The punishment began by ordering you to stay in your suite for the night. It had been 3 hours, and you knew he was returning soon based on the last tug he sent through the bond. You pulled the blanket higher up, refusing to cry over defending yourself. 

You heard the door open and a heavy glass being set down, followed by footsteps. 

The bed dipped beside you. Helion's hand went to your hair, stroking it lovingly. “Sit up. We need to talk, my sunflower.” You obeyed, leaning back against the headboard. “What is rule number 5?”

Your eyes fluttered shut. “I do not use my title to pull sway over another court.”

“Rule 4?”

“My title is to be exposed at your transgression. The other courts do not need to know for my protection."

“Rule 12?”

“Breaking these rules will lead to punishment as deemed fit by daddy.”

Helion forced you to look at him. “Did you break any rules today?”

You nodded, the accountability Would lessen the punishment. “4, 5, and 6.”

Helion smiled. “What's rule 6?”

“Don't fuck with Beron.”

He counted on his hand. “So 3 rules were broken, and a 4th is on the line. My question, sunflower, is, do I punish you in your home court with your brother just a few doors away, or do I wait until we are home?” 

It was cruel of him to ask you if you wanted to wait, increasing whatever he had planned, or get it over with. “Here.” You threw a sound shield up. “Let's just do it here.” 

Helion nodded and stood. “Up, dress off, bend over the bed.” He watched like a hawk as you removed your dress, leaving the pretty lacy lingerie on and leaned over the bed. “Haven't had to spank you in a long time.” You shivered as he ran his hand up your thighs. “10,” both of his hands came to the plush skin of your ass. “10 with no sex tonight seems very fair. It was self-defense, after all.” You bit down on your bottom lip hard, preventing yourself from arguing and making it worse. “Doesn't that sound fair, y/n?”

You took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes, Daddy.”

“And you understand I am not angry anymore? That this was a decision I made with a sound mind?”

“Yes, daddy.” 

He hummed behind you, squeezing your ass again before sighing. “Count for me, princess.” 

There was nowhere for you to go as that first hit came down right below your left butt cheek, stinging the tender flesh there and making you wiggle. “One.” 

Two hands came down, hitting both sides and leaving you without side to wiggle and escape to. He hit harder this time, groaning as your skin began to change color faintly. “Two,” you whimpered. 

“Good girl,” he praised. “Thought I'd be able to trick you on that one. You are so well trained. Who taught you?”

You smiled, turning your head to the side so he could see it. “Daddy did.”

Helion was practically glowing with male pride. “You must have a good daddy.” 

“The best.”

The third spank hit your wet folds, making you yelp at the unexpected stimulation. Skilled fingers immediately found the apex of your thighs, making soft circles there. “Four,” it came out as a moan. 

Another spank came on right, in time with him pressing that bundle of nerves. You grit the count out through your teeth as you began to realize fully what was about to happen. 

6 and 7 were the same. Powerful stinging smacks on the left side repeatedly. You were desperate for anything at this point, wiggling your hips as he continued plucking moan after moan from you as if you were a well tuned harp. 

8 hit below your left cheek, towards the inside of your spread thighs. You yelled loudly as hit landed, struggling not to climb further up the bed. 

You could hear how wet you were. You could feel it running down your thighs. “Being such a good girl,” his voice was low, the timber of it melting you further into the mattress. “Sensational.” 

9 struck you as he plunged two fingers deep into you. The moan of his name was unholy as it echoed the room. “Nine,” your tone was strained, that coil so fucking tight in your stomach you almost could not bare it any longer. 

You knew if you came without permission, it would be worse. So much worse. 

One night without sex would become a week, and if you dared touch yourself, dared to lay a single finger on what was his, that week would become you strapped to a chair watching him fuck whomever he pleased in your place before him and that person overestimulated you and edged you for hours on end.

The final spank was centered on the right side again. He landed it in time with curling his fingers to your gspot. 

You couldn't help but to release a mix of a scream and moan of pleasure and frustration. 

Tears began to fall as you whispered 10 and he continued curling his fingers inside of you. 

You felt like your body was being forced to dangle from a cliff and he was holding on. He could either let you go, let you crash and fall into the valley of pleasure below you, or he could rip it all away. 

And he chose the second. 

His fingers were out of you and he was walking away. Grabbing the lotion you had packed. He moved you across his lap instead of the bed by your hair. 

The lotion felt so cool against the tender and sore flesh, making you whimper for a whole new reason as your thighs continued trying to get any friction they could. 

“What did we learn, sunflower?” His voice was gentle and calm, but where you were laying told another story. His hard cock dug into your side causing you to shift in need.

“Do not break rules.”

“And?”

“Be good for daddy.” 

He sighed, a content happy noise leaving his throat. “Rhysand and I are going to go look at Thesan's new pleasure hall. You are going to stay here and sleep. Understood?” You wanted to protest. Wanted to attend the pleasure hall with your husband and friends. He gave you a look, eyes dancing and hoping for a challenge.

“Yes, daddy.” Two could play this game.

He hid his disappointment and kissed you. “Be good while daddy is gone. I love you.”

You smiled and said it back, watching as he left.

You'd be good in his absence. You waited an hour before your hand slipped into your still soaked panties.

You'd be so good.

General tag list:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanager @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho

@mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium

Valentines Day Taglist:

@sfhsgrad-blog @amara-moonlight @eternallyelvish @novaksangel @teenageeggscissorslawyer @thisblogisaboutabook @amygdtjhddzvb

@justasillylittlegoofyguy @avajustreads

@littlestw01f @azriels-shadowsinger @acourtofladydeath

[baddestbittyontheblock]

tasm!peter parker fic recs

you are responsible for the content you consume‼️

✧*:·˚ hi everyone!! here is a list of all the fics that are my favs with tagged writers/authors ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ remember to like and reblog the works you enjoy in order to support each writer!! ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ however, make sure you read the information on each story themselves such as triggers & warnings ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ also, if you'd like me to remove your fic from this list, message me! ✧*:·˚

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

「❀」 earn it. by @3vergr3en fem!reader x tasm!peter parker | smut with little plot (public sex, unprotected sex (PLEASE WRAP IT), nipple play, orgasm control, peter has an obvious breeding kink, cream pie, choking, teasing, profanity, name-calling, humiliation, dirty talk, jealousy, established marriage.), 2.9K

-harry is hosting a birthday party for his best friend, peter. Everything runs smoothly until y/n’s best friend back in high school shows up and start flirting with the female. oblivious y/n doesn’t think much of it, being used to such playful manner. but peter can see through the man’s facade, and he doesn’t like it one bit.

「❀」 needy by @webslingingslasher tasm!peter parker x reader | angst

-peter parker and reader getting into an argument based off of peter parker saying something to his friends behind readers back about reader that hurts her feelings

「❀」 “stop it you’re being mean” by ^ tasm!peter parker x reader

-“If we’re really being honest here, honey, I don’t think that’s what it’s about, at all.”

「❀」 changed the wording around, still fits. by ^ tasm!peter parker x reader

-"why do you seem upset?" "why the hell do you think..."

「❀」 want you to be okay by @lovelyspooks tasm!peter parker x reader | fluff (at the start) but then angst with no comfort, uncommunicated feelings, 1.6k

-you're peter parkers main priority, he makes sure you know that but lately you feel second best to the city you both love

「❀」 smut blurb by @berrieluv peter parker x reader | mentions of sex

-peter and reader r having sex and he's really rough but at some point he hurts her bc of his powers he got after the spider bite. and then he just takes care of her and its cute and soft

「❀」 in the real world by @luveline tasm!peter parker x fem!reader | canon typical violence, bleeding, swearing, fluff, angst, hospitals, mutual pining, idiots in love, fem!reader, she/her pronouns used for reader, 5.4k

-you notice something about spider-man during a violent villain showdown, then you have to save his life.

「❀」 drunk!peter mini fic by ^ tasm!peter parker x reader

-drunk!peter and he’s all over reader telling her how he wants to marry her and being handsy

「❀」 honeybody by ^ tasm!peter parker x reader | fluff, friendship, idiots in love, falling in love, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, intimacy, the intangible breadth of the human experience or something similar, mentioned/implied past self-harm, 12k

-something about music makes you desperate to feel it. something about peter, pretty and magnetic and light, multiplies this immeasurably. or, you and peter want to try everything

「❀」 frat!peter by @withahappyrefrain frat!tasm!peter parker x reader | 18+

-frat!peter going from feral sex beast to passionate youre the only person that matter to me sex

「❀」 3 is the magic number by ^ tasm!peter parker x reader | smut (strong breeding kink, soft dom Peter, overstimulation, creampies, daddy kink, choking, did I mention breeding kink? also peter having baby fever.)

-you and peter decide it's time to start trying to expand your family

「❀」 peter mini fic by @bruisedboys tasm!peter x shy!fem!reader | 0.7k

-peter gets really excited for you when you do things for yourself like a dork. like ordering for yourself or asking for help at the stores finding something. it’s so basic but peter knows you struggle so he just gets really excited 4 u

「❀」 min peter fic by ^ tasm!peter x clumsy!reader | 0.7k

-you’re still in the process of patching yourself up when peter gets home, your knees scraped and a box of big band-aids waiting for you on the coffee table.

「❀」 tequila makes me sleepy by @cosmal tasm!peter parker x fem!afab!reader | drunk!reader, mentions of gross guys sexualizing reader

-pete comes to find you at a party after you call him.

「❀」 your girl by @lanadelreyscokewhor3 boyfriend! teter x girlfriend! reader | some swearing, and vomiting ofc. but petnames and lots of fluff:))

-“m’peter i’m done. no more.” you moaned, your body feeling weak and achey as you leaned against your forehead against the toilet seat.

「❀」 boyfriend! peter thoughts by ^ tasm!peter parker x reader

-always sitting on his lap. always. whenever you’re in his room and he’s at his desk doing work he pats his knee and you trot over and sit on his knee and he bounces it slightly while he explains his work while you just listen and nod

「❀」 ridiculous by @peterthepark tasm!peter parker x f!reader | 18+ graphic smut, not much plot, nsfw brainrot, blonde and fratboy peter parker, unprotected sex, kinda public sex, bathroom sex, mentions of smoking and party drugs, swearing as always

-peter parker was ridiculous, especially with that new hair of his. but deep down, you wanted nothing more than to experience one night with the douchebag of a blonde.

「❀」 extremely ridiculous by ^ tasm!peter parker x f!reader | smut (18+ graphic smut, rough sex, dirty talk, religious themes, partie, nsfw brainrot, blond peter parker, unprotected sex, mentions of smoking and alcohol consumption, swearing, sexualized halloween costumes, daddy kink, some roleplay, fingering, oral sex, slapping and pain kink, mentions of anal, just pure filth with 9k)

-ever since the bathroom incident, you’re the first person that peter parker looks for in every party. halloween is sinful, but so is the way you look at him from across the room. recommend reading the first part

「❀」 smut blurb by ^ tasm!peter parker x reader | graphic smut and stuff

-peter uses his webs to keep you still during sex

「❀」 peter parker imagine by @mareagirls  tasm!peter parker x reader

-peter and reader are on a date, but reader feels nauseous. but, reader doesn’t want to tell peter because a: they’ve both been super busy lately between spider-man duties and college and/or work and b: because even if reader won’t admit it, being vulnerable and being taken care of kind of scares them. but peter finds out/figured it out and wants to help and fluff ensues.

「❀」 i say i hate you with a smile on my face by @stylesparker college!tasm!peter parker x fem!reader | 4k

-peter is fairly certain he should not have come to this party. the “friend” that he came with from one of his classes, he doesn’t exactly remember which one, ditched him as soon as they got to the door.

「❀」 kiss me more by @spidernerdsblog tasm!peter parker x reader | 18+, smut, minors dni, 69 (m & f receiving)

-your dad is the chief of NYPD and isn't fond of your boyfriend's secret alias spiderman but that doesn't stop him from sneaking into your room at night for a few kisses and a little more.

「❀」 morning after by ^ peter parker x stark!reader | 18+, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it)

-last night after a drunk hookup you and peter aren't quite sure you used protection or not.

「❀」 size issues by ^ tasm!peter parker x reader

-you prank your husband by getting the wrong size of bra just to see his reaction.

「❀」 i'll crawl home to her by @embrassemoi  tasm!peter parker x f!reader | 18+, fluff, nsfw, oral (m), light sub/dom, soft smut, mentions of violence, injuries + blood, thigh riding, cleaning wounds, bit of plot (?)

-After a long day, all Peter wants is a bit of love and someone to take care of him.

[ordowrites]

when you are sad

cw: none, simple fluff and comfort, self indulgent, no pronouns used / gn!reader. slight vent, i'm sorry. established relationships.

characters: diluc, kaeya, wanderer

bad days, weeks, months are simply just bound to happen. that's sometimes how it is, and kaeya is no stranger to such things. he'd mourned the loss of family many times, and has his own, long bouts of depression.

misery loves company and he finds you out at starsnatch cliff, staring up at the endless sky and for a moment, he considers leaving you to yourself, knowing that sometimes being alone is better but he can't help but linger for a brief moment.

finally, kaeya simply elects to sit next to you and gently drapes his arm around you and pulls you close.

"it's gonna be okay." he murmurs as you slump against him. "i promise." it feels like lip service but it's all he can offer when in reality, he would take on all your troubles if it means never seeing that somber, upset look on your face ever again. he holds you closer and you rest your head on his chest. "i love you."

he never says those words out loud to anyone - let alone you, the one who caught his eye so long ago.

"i love you." he repeats, firmly. "i know it can't fix whatever is going on, but just...just remember that."

you are all the things that are right in this world - you are ambitious, outspoken, there is not a moment where you have surrendered simply because the going got tough. yet, seeing you in tears and frustrated has diluc at a loss.

your spirit is like wildfire, it burns everything in its path and here it is, damped and gone, in the wake, ashes.

"what's the matter, my beloved?" diluc is tender when he gently cups your face and wipes away your tears. it doesn't matter if you tell him or not, you'll talk about it when you're ready. "hey, hey, shhh..." he grunts in surprise when you grip him into a tight hug. "it's okay, it's okay, i'm here."

unlike kaeya, diluc isn't very good with words and he doesn't always know how to make things better (and sometimes tends to worsen things) so when you hug him, all he can do is hold you just as tightly.

he has adelinde make you your favorite food - after all, food is a love language - and prepare you a bath that you can soak in. it doesn't fix the problem, but he hopes it can at least provide some sense of comfort.

there's something about your expression that's frustrating him - the wanderer is not unfamiliar with human emotion, in fact, he understands them quite well after four hundred some years but he is perplexed by you. normally, you return his snark ten fold, you're loud, you're obnoxious, and pushy, and when he calls you an ass, you have ten times worse words for him.

"what do you want?" you ask him, tone flat. you're exhausted, he notes as he takes the seat across from you. "go away, i don't have time."

"well, i do." he retorts.

you roll your eyes. "news flash, the world does not revolve around you."

"it should," the wanderer responds, crossing his arms over his chest. "tell me what's wrong."

"i don't want to." you respond.

he snorts. "fine, have it your way." he says, grumpily. "but don't think, for a minute, i'm leaving your depressed ass alone."

"why?" you have the audacity to ask.

the wanderer, for once, does not have a proper answer for you. or a retort. he simply just stares, hopes you drop it and let it go. after awhile, he gets up and goes inside the cafe and orders you some cake and some weird sounding cold coffee. humans and their need to change things.

"a wise deity once told me that sweets can sooth the soul." he says, upon your quizzical look. "i assume she must be right."

for the first time in the two hours, you crack a small smile. and the wanderer feels victorious.

[bitter-bats-cult-of-the-moon]

Spirit Work II

Spiritual Imposters

Before committing yourself to a deity or spirit one must communicate by learning about the entity in question, making certain they are who they say they are. Discovery of a spirit you thought you were working with is something else that leaves one feeling betrayed, upset, and oftentimes empty. Knowing the signs can really help discern things.

Mental Sock Puppets

A mental sock puppet is the result of talking to yourself and concluding self-talks as something else. The ego talks, you listen to yourself. Not a spirit. Or you establish contact but are incredibly biased hearing your thoughts. Not theirs.

It acts in accordance to your expectations.

You received no new information.

It’s only as knowledgeable as you are.

It only abides by your will. No one else.

It gives no signs unless you’re looking for them.

These are easy to get rid of if you identify the problem, recognize the problem, and let the narrative and ego go. No one needs to hear it. No one wants too either. You only end up hurting yourself and other people if things get too out of hand.

Lying Spirits

Some spirits are opportunists. They can portray an illusion pretending to be someone they’re not in order to gain loyalty and trust. They can take the form of a deity, guide, companion, or anything else that you would be most receptive to. This is why it’s good to know the basics to energy work and magick. Remember to learn different energies and how they feel to you. Remember to analyze the situation, yourself, the spirit, the environment, and working before proceeding forward. A lot of these malevolent entities like to feed off you or cause more drama that’s not necessarily needed.

Spirit Work and Continued Relationships

Veneration and Practice

This is about worshipping the deities or spirits you work with and highly depends on your practices and influences you choose to use and construct.

Most times there will be an altar setup or shrine dedicated to these spirits. Offerings of food, drink, incense, and trinkets would be a way of showing your dedication and interests of the spirits. There are other forms of interaction I have seen before.

Connection through art, music, nature, and meditation are just some of these other mediums. You don’t have to make this complex, and sometimes people have busy schedules making veneration hard to come by.

Try to keep things simple and remember it’s always okay to take a break due to circumstances. Spirits understand life comes first.

Patrons and Matrons

A Patron and Matron are deities that a devotee has a connection to. Its beyond standard devotional relations and is the main contact point for guidance and protection. It’s important to recognize that these types of relationships are built. They are not assigned.

Wicca is known for the patron and matron concept where duo theistic practices entail encouraging practitioners to seek out two divinities. The patron and matron would represent the divine masculine and divine feminine.

This is not a requirement in most practices, but in Wicca it is recognized in many circles.

Fallow Times

There are times where communication between you and the spirits can be difficult, and that’s okay. It happens with everyone. It doesn’t mean a spirit has left or that you’ve lost your ability to communicate. This feeling is temporary, and it’s a reminder that whenever this does happen, you need to take care of yourself first. Get the rest you deserve and try again later. Remember, this is normal due to circumstances – including stress, environmental factors, and any sort of disturbances one may have.

Oaths and Vows

There are many reasons why an individual would take an oath and vow. That’s between the practitioner and the spirit. This promise can come about for many different reasons, and even sometimes at the request of the spirit. However, this isn’t required if you are just working with them. It doesn’t mean control or status either. You can’t parade this around to get your way in certain situations. It doesn’t look good or help. Be aware of that. Remember why you did this, and what does it mean for you. That’s the most important part.

Displeasing Spirits

Those that are new to Spirit Work sometimes worry about displeasing the spirits. Repeat after me, deities and spirits who choose to work with you won’t get mad at you for being a human.

They will know there will be shortcomings, quirks, and variations.

You have NO obligation to listen to ANY person on this subject otherwise.

IF you do upset a spirit or make it angry question yourself as to why. Remember, communication is the key, and sometimes frictions can happen.

IF the behavior seems off and out of place, you may be dealing with an imposter. Check your sources and confirmation methods before determining the circumstances.

[jade-len]

bad svsss fanfic/au idea: random marriage/guidance counselor transmigrates into PIDW, sees the absolute mess of lord luo bingge and his harem, goes "jesus fucking christ", and makes bank.

and like. they're probably not even that good of a counselor. it's just that people lack any sense when it comes to bingge, and since he's the emperor, that means pretty much everyone. also because therapy doesn't exist. i'll give them some credit though, whatever they hell they're doing works.

now, while sqq and sqh are having a grand ol' time in SVSSS with their husbands, this random, average counselor has to deal with being in the care of lord luo bingge. no wife beam. no anything. all they have is some basic empathy and common sense people just tend to lack in here for some reason.

it's even worse considering the fact that they've arrived after luo bingge completed his plan and became the hailed demon emperor. now, while they've never full on read the entire thing, they've heard enough from a close friend who has kept up with it to know the main character is the literal embodiment of the cycle of abuse and heavy unresolved issues. like, it got to the point where they started to unironically use luo bingge as an example of how to not deal with conflicts and trauma.

really, how could people like bingge? seriously, it's just another edge lord main character with way too many glamorized issues and abuse. red flag! (hey, who the hell is peerless cucumber and why does he keep defending binghe? lord, have mercy on these impressionable young men...)

so, after being kidnapped taken in by bingge and his wives after the bunch claimed that they were a "wise man" or whatever (all they did was offer some basic relationship advice to some poor woman, who turned out to be ning yingying, who told the other wives, and it just spiraled from there), they were deemed "special" and given their personal office and a room! hey, better than being on the streets in this god forsaken hentai-ish world, i guess.

quickly, a routine was established. one that, especially, consisted of luo bingge outright ignoring them. which, they weren't complaining about!

wake up, eat, meet with multiple of the wives, spend their hard earned money on delicious delicacies, meet with more wives, sleep, repeat. the most interaction they had with the demon emperor was him ordering them around, but even then, that was uncommon. it was, surprisingly, easy to fall into the rhythm of this undoubtedly odd life. you're upset that lord luo hasn't spent much time with you? maybe you can ask! the other wives are being annoying? remove yourself from the situation. you're upset that lord luo has so many other wives? oohhh... yeah. uhm.

luo binghe only tolerated them, they knew that. and they're sure that, if not for multiple of his wives insisting on keeping them, they'd be dead for even daring to be so "intimate" with them. a little bit of a shock, if they do say so themself. like, insecure much (something that they'll probably never get used to is the fact that bingge built an entire little village for his wives, though)?

but that's not the most shocking thing, oh, no.

it's this.

"i- i tried.. i tried to take the.. hiic-- other.. other shizun w-with me.." lord luo binghe, the powerful, almighty demon emperor, trembles and sobs. "b-but he! he wanted to-- s-stay with that.. stupid, inferior version of my- hic- self.."

despite the mountain of gold they're getting paid in, is it really enough to deal with this? probably not. will they get killed for witnessing luo binghe's vulnerability? perhaps. is he a dictator, the embodiment of the cycle of abuse, and a crazily vengeful bastard? definitely.

"it's-- s' not.." his voice breaks. something else inside of them probably does, too. "..n-not, hiic- fair."

should they feel bad? they shouldn't. he's hurt much too many people. isn't it a little late? can he even be redeemed? because, they are absolutely not here to try and "fix" him.

and yet.

"can you breathe, lord luo? deep breaths, don't focus on anything else but me, okay? i'll do it with you too. can you do that for me? there, there. you're doing a very good job, do you know that? here, when i'm upset, sometimes i like to do something called, '5-4-3-2-1'. i promise it'll help, binghe. would you like for me to do this one with you too?"

they can't help but think about a small, lonely boy on qing jing peak.

. . .

after that, bingbing slowly starts to come around and develop an actual bond! cool!! he just,,, can't believe only his wives were granted the "wisdom". how foolish was he?

"i know i'm only a mere human, but i can tell that lord luo is... masking things. you can put that away for now, okay? i promise, everything you say here will be confidential information, and it'll never leak... no no there's no enemy spies here-"

"i'm not even going to question this. you go back there right now and deal with it yourself if you cannot respect me or the other clients. aka, your wives."

"no, it's not stupid. this is how people help themself, and it's okay if you want to do it. as long as it doesn't hurt you or anybody. it helps, and that's all that matters."

"oh? one of your wife confronted to you about it? i'm glad to hear that, she's doing well, i see. i'm also happy that you're listening too, really."

"yes, and when something like that happens, you--- no- don't pull out xin mo now. what did we say about that? good job."

"here, can i touch your hands, binghe? there we go. when you're unsteady, you feel the need to pick at your skin, correct? well, let's try a few different things to keep those hands busy! it must be quite stressful being an emperor. how about we start with crocheting! it's quite popular back at my hometown."

"your mother sounds like a wonderful woman, lord luo. hey, how about you take a small break and visit her, okay? you want me to come with you? of course, it'd be an honor."

and thus, the story of the poor transmigrator counselor continues on with luo bingge added to their schedule!! this could be read as romantic or platonic lol. but i was thinking of this as luo bingge obtaining his first actual friend. it takes a long while due to bingge's... bingge-ness, but eventually it all works out lmao

[show-your-fangs]

I hate seeing sad Hotch but what about Hotch being sad and feeling he’s inadequate but reader does a BIG/GRAND gesture and hotch is floored and becomes like cute puppy hotch and is all like 🥺

this was such a phenomenal request, i just had to add a sprinkle of angst and hurt/comfort bc i am a whore. hope you like it!

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x f!Reader

Words: 1.3k

CW: sad, very very sad, angst, sad boy aaron

Tags/warnings: established relationship, lover boy Hotch, reader works at the BAU but isn't a profiler (just in case you haven't read Moments), self-deprecating thoughts, Aaron thinking he's not good enough for Reader, fear of abandonment, Aaron crying, Reader comforts Aaron, super cute ending.

a/n: I imagine this is Moments AU Aaron and Reader after their relationship comes to light and they’re just dating and working together like adults after almost a year of secrecy, so it’s “new” in the sense that they’ve been public for only a few months. 

Disclaimer: YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO REPOST MY WRITING ANYWHERE ELSE WITHOUT MY CONSENT. REBLOGS ARE ENCOURAGED THOUGH. YOU MAY NOT FEED MY WORK TO ANY AI DATABASES OF ANY KIND OR TO USE MY WORKS TO TRAIN AI. FUCK AI.

You hadn’t spoken to him all day, avoided him at all cost, not once stole a single glance at his office, at him. He didn’t think it was strange at first, you were both rushing to finish a mountain of paperwork that had just come in. 

He even ignored the fact that you hadn’t sought him out to have lunch together, claiming you were going out to run an errand. But then you left work early, so early in fact that the sun was still out. That’s when he began to panic. 

He knew he’d been a little distant recently. He’d had to miss your weekly date night twice, the second time having been the rescheduled date that he was convinced he’d be able to make. But no matter, he’d been called into a meeting just as the two of you were leaving the office. 

You’d been understandably upset. When he returned home to his apartment where you’d been waiting for him for the past few hours, you immediately got into a very heated argument, one that as much as he knew was coming, was still incredibly painful. 

But that had been a couple of weeks ago, you’d worked through it, talked it out, were done fighting about that. Or at least he thought so. 

He knew he was lucky to be with you, unbelievably lucky in fact, and he tried to often show you just how much he appreciated you sticking around after everything he’d been through, after everything you’d been through together. 

And yet he couldn’t help but feel like you would be so much better without him, that if he wasn’t holding you back you could be doing so much better. Your career had stalled because of your relationship with him, you were stuck in an endless cycle of having to comfort him, reassure him that everything was going to be alright when he should be the one doing this for you.

He’d caught you laughing, unrestricted, completely set ablaze by emotion a few days ago, and what had struck him hardest about such a normal display of happiness was that he couldn’t remember when he’d made you laugh like that last. 

You deserved the world, deserved someone who would show up for you, who would sacrifice everything for you, and as much as he wanted to be that person, he was also terrified of what he would have to do in order to become it. 

But he really wanted to, truly wanted to try, to make this work, to prove to you that he could do it, that he could be the man you needed him to be. 

He’d left the office the earliest he’d had in a while, making an effort to leave the paperwork he hadn’t been able to get through on his desk. He could get to it tomorrow morning. Tonight he would show up for you, to his apartment where he knew you’d be waiting after you’d unofficially moved in a week earlier.

He had plans to surprise you with dinner from your favorite restaurant, draw you a nice bath, and practically spend the rest of the evening on his knees, worshiping you like a goddess until you simply couldn’t take it anymore. 

He was practically buzzing all the way up to his apartment, excitement washing over him like a drug, euphoric and calming. He’d opened the door quietly, not wanting to alert you of his presence quite yet. 

But when he finally took in the room, fully dissected what he was seeing, the bag of take out, his keys, and his work bag fell from his hands, loudly banging against the wooden floor. 

You practically bolted out of the room, terrified, like a deer caught in headlights. You only calmed down when you noticed it was him, the hand that held a hair brush like a weapon lowering as a realization flashed over your features. 

He’d caught you in the act, caught you in the middle of…packing your bags and leaving him. 

No, this couldn’t be happening to him, not again, not like this, not you. 

“Honey,” he managed, his voice unbelievably small, on the verge of breaking apart. “What– we can talk about this, please, don’t– please don’t leave me.”

Your brows scrunched in confusion, slowly straightening, readying yourself for what you believed would be another fight. That’s when your eyes darted towards the spilled containers on the floor, his keys and bag to the other side of him, discarded. 

“I know I messed up, I know I shouldn’t have gone to that meeting, I should have told Strauss to wait until the morning,” his voice was cracking, pathetically, and he wanted nothing more than to have this conversation in the most composed way possible. 

But he had not prepared himself to find you like this, to find you in the same way he’d found Hayley all those years ago. Only then it had been his things, and tonight they were yours, and that somehow stung him even harder because last time it had been her kicking him out of her life, and tonight it was you removing yourself from his. 

You still didn’t move, your confusion slowly starting to turn to concern as he dropped to his knees in front of you, quite literally getting on his knees to beg you to stay. 

“I don’t want you to leave me, honey,” he pleaded. “Please stay, I promise I’ll do better, I’ll do whatever you want me to just please don't leave me.”

His hands wrapped around your legs then, face pressed against your stomach as he couldn’t stop the tears from pouring any longer. His entire body shaked, trembled, quacked against your own, his arms keeping you in place, stopping you from moving anywhere, even if you wanted to. 

“Baby,” you whispered and he only tightened his grip. So you stood there, let him get it all out as you gently ran your fingers over his scalp, shushing him gently as he sobbed. 

A few long minutes later, the sobs subsided into light tears and he let you unwrap his arms from you. You dropped down to your knees in an instant, cupping his face in your warm hands and pulling his gaze up to meet yours. 

“I’m sorry, baby,” you told him, wiping the wetness off his face with your thumbs. “I didn’t know this was bothering you so much, I thought we were done fighting about that.”

He let out a shaky breath, taking in the words you’d just said, allowing them to reassure his rapidly beating heart. 

“You’re not leaving?” 

“No, baby,” you smiled softly. “I wanted to surprise you,” you turned your body to the hallway leading towards his room, his own bags packed by the door. “I got Rossi to approve some time off for both of us – an entire week of sipping margaritas by the beach at one of Morgan’s friend’s resorts.”

His arms wrapped tightly around your waist then, pulling you further into him. “When did you– how did you? Why–”

“You’re right, that fight was awful, and I realized we both just needed some time alone together. To decompress and reconnect, just the two of us. What do you think?”

“I think that I don’t deserve you,” he confessed, the smallest hint of a joke desperately trying to hide the truth behind his words. 

“Oh, but you do, Aaron,” you kissed his nose. “You deserve this and so much more, I just need you to believe it. For me. Please?”

He nodded, his nose gently rubbing against yours before he leaned forward to press his lips against yours. They were a little salty from his tears and you took extra care to lap them all up, to clean his mouth of any reminder of what had just happened, a clean slate for the two of you. 

“I love you,” you spoke against his lips. 

“I love you too, honey,” he replied, placing another kiss over your lips before continuing. “So much it’s physically painful.”

You giggled then, light, airy, playful and carefree, and he couldn’t help but smile. Now this laugh he’d remember forever. 

this was...wow. holy shit. i hated putting baby through that but i think he needed to hear that.

my requests are open for pretty boy hotch, be that moments, dbf!we shouldn't (and yet we do), rough hotch, sugar daddy!hotch, or whatever your heart desires.

tags: @canuck-eh, @ssamorganhotchner

[mandaplease10]

A Polin Take Nobody Asked For #6

Show Polin Vs. Book Polin Part 1

I have seen a lot of fans upset over the way the showrunner/writers handled Polin's story in comparison to the book version. Of course, we're always going to compare because it's a given. However, I'm a little shocked on how so many are complaining about it when their story was never really true to the books to begin with.

The biggest differences are their ages and time frame & their relationship prior to getting together.

In the book, both Pen and Colin are like a decade older than their characters in the show & they didn't really have a friendship before getting together either. The book is very much a best friend's brother's trope.

In the show, they're teenagers and have an established friendship meaning it's a true friends to lovers trope.

Let's take a deep dive and compare their stories and why the show handled it differently.

Show Polin: Ages

So, obviously the fact that they are teenagers/early 20's in the show means that they would not have the same level headedness as an adult. Both Pen and Colin are trying to find themselves and their purpose in life.

Colin very much feels like he has to be like Anthony & Benedict in order for them to take him seriously. They have always seen him as the little brother who tries to hard and doesn't think. He feels like he has to be someone he isn't because most people don't care about him truly being himself because every time he does he is talked down to and treated like he's too young to know what he wants. No one cares about his travels and no one even bothers to respond to his letters, which then makes him wonder if he's even wanted by his family.

Pen is tired of being the laughingstock of the Ton and in her own family. The only minuscule of happiest she gets is her time with Eloise and the Bridgertons & when she is writing her column. After her sisters are married and she's faced with living with her mother as a spinster, she is determined to get out of the house and get married, even if it isn't to the one person she wants. She still has the self esteem of a young naive girl, so she must learn how to grow her confidence into the clever, beautiful woman she is.

Book Polin: Their Ages

Colin has spent the majority of his teens and twenties traveling and being away from home. He has seen the world and has lived a well experienced life. We really don't get much of how he's feeling in regards to his life or how he felt over the years.

Pen has lived with her mother this whole time and as given up on the marriage mart. She's happy with living as a spinster and has created an empire with Lady Whistledown. She is super close with her younger sister and Eloise and doesn't seem to have the same initial longing as show Pen when it comes to marriage.

Show Polin: Friends to Lovers

In seasons 1 & 2, we see Pen and Colin's friendship blossom and grow into a very close relationship. I would even say that their friendship was closer than Pen and Eloise just because they both seemed to really listen to the other and offer support. We see the way that Colin is there for Pen when Cressida teases her and with Featherington Scheme in season 2. We also know that their letters to each other are meaningful and Colin started viewing her in a different light when he came back in season 2. Being with each other means they both can talk about anything that they couldn't with others because no one else bothered to take the time to listen.

Book Polin: Best Friend's Brother

We don't really see a relationship with Pen and Colin in the books other than Pen being Eloise's friend and a close friend to the family. It's mentioned that there were times Pen and Colin danced at Balls together, but it was purely at the request of Mama Bridgerton. There were no letters exchanged between them.

**

This is going to be multiple parts because it's gonna be a long one.

Stay tuned for part 2

Falling in Love

Lady Whistledown Reveal

Wedding & Aftermath

Part 3

Cressida's Blackmail

Love Confession

Epilogue

Part 4

How all of these changes affected the way the show storyline was written versus the book version.

Also, let me know if there are any other comparisons you want that I haven't thought to include.

[fleetingvow]

‘ BITTER SOLITUDE .

Wednesday Addams x Female Reader.

SYNOPSIS. wednesday has always loved being alone. she enjoyed the company of solitude and the opportunity for something haunted in the eerie silence, but somehow your presence was missing. did she do something wrong? ( 4.33k words )

WARNINGS. angst, usage of profanities, this is unproofread. spoiler to those who haven’t watched it yet. english is not the author’s first language. the timeline is a bit off. confession under the rain.

NOTE. written in third person’s omniscient point of view.

TABLE OF CONTENTS. you can find my masterlist by clicking this link. my requests are open, so feel free to send in anything you want me to write.

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗖𝗟𝗜𝗖𝗞𝗦 𝗢𝗙 the typewriter halted. Enid had gone somewhere Wednesday didn’t care enough to acknowledge, resulting in the silence of the room that only whispered words of insanity inside her head — silent insanity. She turned her head to spot Thing settled on her dark bed, reading a travelogue magazine he found from Enid’s drawer, turning its pages tediously.

“Are you sure you gave her the note?” Wednesday monotonously questioned as Thing only answered a ‘yes’ with a tap of his finger on the sheets. Her eyes darted on the typewriter again, contemplating whether to use it or leave it alone for a while in order to wait for y/n with full concentration.

But she knew y/n’s presence won’t grace the room no matter how much anyone — most especially, Thing, would pine for it. She narrowed her dark eyes and tightened her jaw as she settled in her train of thoughts.

She used to like this state of living. She was alone or with Thing, but there was silence. The only thing that would bounce back to her ears was the sound of the typewriter clicking and Thing’s magazine pages turning. She loved solitude — lived for it, or perhaps the young Addams would even die for it, because of how much it was a rare luxury for her in Nevermore, but ever since she laid her eyes on a specific girl and her foot set in the divided room, she had grown used to the constant whines of invites to go outside and do some extracurricular activities that Wednesday either found too easy, boring, or stupid.

Y/N often complained about the homeworks they would get stacked with. She would normally curse at the teacher who gave it without a care in the world whether Wednesday heard or not. She felt comfortable enough to express her unnecessary emotions, as Addams would describe it, in the room with the half colourful and half devoid of hues window. She would wreak havoc and play games with Thing, gossip with him, and have a therapy session with him.

Wednesday was used to it, but she never wanted to admit it. Of course she didn’t. Because somehow, y/n had become part of the solitude that Wednesday found convenient even though she wouldn’t admit it aloud or even at all.

She argued that her presence was unlike any other that she found aggravating. That Wednesday didn’t have to put any effort in order to satisfy y/n’s needs in the established — friendship? Were they friends?

“Thing, why isn’t she here?” She asked again through gritted teeth, only gaining an ‘I don’t know’ from her companion.

No, she wasn’t her friend.

But if she wasn’t, why did her absence affect her so? Wednesday found it unsettling, and so unlike her dark cold self. Her eyes peeking through her eyelashes only narrowed even more, and much to her disgust, she wanted to do something about it.

Thing interrupted and made a few gestures, tapping, swinging, and folding his fingers to the girl who got more and more upset as she followed through with what he said.

“I sometimes wish that I don’t understand what you’re telling me,” she replied. “And it’s impossible that she would get upset over my silence. I’m always cold and silent. She should know that she signed up for it before being my . . . acquaintance.” Even without a certain tone in her statement, Thing could sense the venom in her voice. Y/N’s absence did tick Wednesday off.

He gestured, but before he could finish, she spoke again, “Finish that sentence, and I will pull out your nails and skin your fingers alive one at a time.”

Thing knew he crossed a line there. Why else would she threaten his nails?

The wooden floor suddenly creaked as Wednesday stood up from her chair, the typewriter long-forgotten in her wake to venture outside the room with a plan to confront her missing acquaintance.

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Wednesday knew where to usually find y/n, but much to her dismay, she wasn’t in Weathervane. Tyler hadn’t seen her either. The young Addams found him quite stubborn yet persuasive, but she had to decline his offer of coffee. She had pressing matters to tend to.

Y/N wasn’t with Enid. She wasn’t with Yoko and Divina either, nor Bianca. She wasn’t seen by Xavier the whole day, and her roommate mentioned her rush to go out of the room earlier in the fine Saturday morning.

This was suspicious to Wednesday. Y/N was always with either of them in Weathervane, the library, the field, or Xavier’s haven for his art. Where could she be? She shouldn’t be out and about when there’s a monster on the loose, ready to cut someone’s throat.

“You really don’t want her to see you?” Xavier questioned.

“No. I’m surprised she’s even out there looking for me,” Y/N replied, stroking the hued brush on the canvas. “But then again, it’s Wednesday. She’s probably only looking for me because she needs something.”

“She still thinks I’m the monster, honestly.”

“Well, you do have a lot of drawings of the monster for someone who isn’t it, but I guess I should trust you. Maybe more than I should trust Wednesday from now on.”

Xavier turned to her, eyebrows furrowing in bewilderment. He took the towel near his latest work and wiped his fingers, “I’m curious.”

“What?”

“What did Wednesday do to you? Why did you say all those things you said earlier?”

She shrugged and continued to smudge the blank paint on the canvas. She hated that the colour reminded her of the certain goth girl that made her feel things she shouldn’t be, but could she ever help it? Wednesday was a friend, but the circumstances now said otherwise.

“I won’t tell her.”

“Even if you did, would she care?” She asked bitterly without turning to Xavier, only paying attention to the work she was aimlessly doing.

“Y/N.”

“She didn’t do anything bad. It’s just — ”

“She didn’t do anything, did she?”

Y/N scoffed and stopped her work, looking up at the canvas with a sigh of defeat, “That’s exactly what she did.” She turned to him and set the brush aside, sardonically letting out a chuckle, “Ironic, yes?”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

Was she not that obvious enough? Y/N thought she’d done her best to make anyone notice her actions when she was around Wednesday. She wanted them to know so that they could help her with her because she knew she didn’t have the guts to ask them directly, ‘Hey, can you help me with Wednesday?’ Because she found it pathetic. Wednesday obviously wanted someone who could speak their mind and have similarities with her interests, and if she found y/n to be so pathetic enough to ask, what was the chance that the young Addams would even look at her in a different light?

“Y/N, I really can’t help you if I don’t understand what’s going on. Wednesday’s already a puzzle. I’m not sure if I can solve her and you at the same time. She’s not doing anything which is upsetting you because? Maybe my brain’s just a little rusty, but could you elabor — ”

Taking deep breaths in and out weren’t enough. She had to be straightforward with saying what she truly meant with her careful words, “God, Xavier! I want her to notice me!”

“But she does notice you, y/n.”

“You don’t get it.”

“I do. Trust me, I do.”

She shook her head, took the cobbler apron off and hung it on the frame of the canvas, not caring whether the paint had dried off or not. “Thank you for letting me in here and rant to you, Xavier.”

“What? Where are you going?”

“I think I just need a little moment to be alone now,” she mumbled and smiled. Xavier thought y/n had always been good at smiling at everything. If witchcraft was told to be her greatest gift, it was not. Smiling was.

But now he wasn’t sure.

Y/N thought her smiling at everything was a curse. It made her bottle what was truly in her chest.

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It was as if the day wanted to make everything harder for her as she found herself on Enid’s bed, lying quietly on her stomach with Thing on her side, turning the pages of the lotion options on the brochure y/n gave and promised to buy for him if he ever chose one. It seemed hard to be away from Wednesday, but she was about to accomplish her task of ignoring her completely when Enid decided it was nice to invite her to her room only to ditch her as a part of an elaborate plan.

Jokes on her, y/n knew what she was doing. When she said she wanted help, she didn’t mean now. She was too clouded with anger and teenage angst that she wasn’t in the mood to confront the busy as ever Wednesday Addams.

“Where were you?” Wednesday suddenly asked, not stopping from typing words into the typewriter.

“Xavier’s.”

“He said he did not see you the whole day.”

“And what does that make him?” The girl next to Thing inquired, her voice ice and cold. If Wednesday’s cold shoulder existed, y/n’s was much colder than an atlantic iceberg: She tried to shake it off, but she knew her well. She knew something was wrong, and it had to do with her.

“A liar, no less.”

“A friend.”

Wednesday didn’t respond any longer. It was futile to try to ease the tension in the room, and she had to not care or she would let her get in the way of her clear thinking. She was nearing the edge of the monster mystery in the woods, and she was sure it was Xavier, but there was no specific evidence. Her fingers typed aggressively again on the metal contraption, thinking about what they must have been discussing in his shed, what image they painted on the canvas, what disgusting expression on their faces they used while being near each other.

“Something’s on your mind,” Y/N suddenly stated. “Thing, could you go and ask Enid to come here?” She whispered to the pale hand as it crawled outside the room, leaving her and Wednesday alone.

There was no answer from the raven-haired girl. Now she was giving her the cold shoulder. Y/N has had enough thinking it was her fault. She sighed and stood up from the colourful bed, putting on the pair of black loafers she owned for when she went to class. Turning to the door to leave, Wednesday suddenly spoke.

“Everyone was worried.”

Y/N turned her head to her direction. She was still writing. She didn’t know exactly how to feel after the sudden statement. Should she be happy? Why did she feel slightly relieved? Could it mean that Wednesday cared for her? Maybe Xavier was right. Maybe she did get noticed by the certain girl. She wanted to smile, she wanted to ask, she wanted to keep asking more and more. This was her now. Living off a three worded sentence that came out of the Addams’ black painted lips.

“Were you?” Y/N questioned.

She did not respond again. It became a habit of Wednesday, but this one took a little longer than usual. Y/N did not budge from the door, though. She wanted an answer from her. At this point, she was desperate for a sign of anything, giving meanings to simple things only to confuse herself again.

Could Wednesday be holding herself back from giving her a transparent response?

“No.”

Y/N’s hopeful thoughts suddenly shut down as a bad flip on her heart created a shattering pound, dropping the beating chamber on the knots of her tied stomach. Her eyes slightly blinked in disappointment, licking her dry lips to provide moisture as she defeatedly glanced at the girl who had her back facing her.

“Wednesday, did you ever see me as a friend or anything more than just someone you’d talk to on certain occasions just because you needed something at all?”

The clicks stopped just as the door slammed shut behind Y/N, leaving Wednesday to sit on a conundrum of what she’d done wrong and what mistakes she’s been making.

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SUNDAY. Wednesday didn’t like the Sunday activities that Nevermore had planned for its students. She hated it more when she didn’t spot y/n amongst the crowd in the field. She wanted to say she didn’t notice her absence, but she deemed herself too busy to worry about the little things.

She did catch a glimpse of her on the clear afternoon in the path of Xavier’s shade. She wanted to gauge out her own eyes and vomit acid on them.

After her question the previous night, she hasn’t been able to get a clear grip of her mind to write her novel.

Y/N was an absolute distraction that she was glad to finally get rid of.

MONDAY. Wednesday thought she was over it, but the temporary absence of the girl in her mind was cut short when her sharp eyes spotted her in the corridor, her signature extras on her style standing out as she walked alongside her roommate who rambled things y/n found funny enough to laugh at.

Much to her dismay, her shoulder brushed past hers, causing both of them to stop and look back at each other.

The young Addams didn’t know which was the twist of a curved knife: Was it the fact that she was wearing pastel nail polish or her? Was it the fact that y/n looked at where she was going again and recovered too quickly? She didn’t know anymore whether the question referred to the encounter or some other things, but it was making her blood boil.

TUESDAY. That night, Wednesday enjoyed the midnight breeze and performed one of her cello solos in front of the silver moon and the mist in the sky accompanied by the over-observant stars. She wanted to scream, but she never screamed. She didn’t like shouting or being vocally loud. So, the only outlet? Music. She wanted it to be more grim, angrier, louder, and better. She didn’t care who or what heard. She was getting sick of the thoughts inside her head that she wanted to drown it all out by focusing on one thing.

However, no matter what she did, nothing seemed to cure it. Every twist of the tunes on the cello only reminded her of y/n's laughter from the distance, her eyes crinkling as she listened to the stories of someone else, meddling in their business. Y/N shouldn’t care about the peanut butter that her roommate got on her shirt — she shouldn’t even care about anyone at all. Why should she? How could she? The tune got more aggressive, making the hairs of her body stand, feeling the rhythm of her disdain.

Her face wouldn’t get out of her head. The more she wanted it out, the more it became vibrant and clearer, more stubborn to push away. Just like Y/N in the span of days and weeks that she knew her. She had always been there, not leaving her side. Wednesday never acknowledged her or anyone so much, and she knew it put people off, but not her. Not until —

Wednesday frowned.

Not until that day y/n asked — no, practically begged her to come to Weathervane because she said she had something important to say.

The music ended. Thing sat on the stand and made a gesture. The girl knew what he was asking about. Now it was clear for Wednesday. She had never been oblivious, but the fact that she never acknowledged anything that had to do with y/n when she was constantly pining for her already made her much of a fool than she thought. That’s why she asked her the question a few nights before.

Y/N was under the impression that Wednesday never cared, or that she failed to see her.

Which, if she was frankly speaking, she did fail yet foolishly at that. Wednesday wanted her own space, her own time, her own pace. Y/N wanted an action, and she knew she couldn’t give her that. Their differences were setting each of them aside, away from each other, but now that it was clear, Wednesday knew exactly what to do.

Even if she found it most humanly pathetic.

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WEDNESDAY. Surely the afternoon rain was not the right weather for archery, but y/n needed the comfort of the serrated edges of the arrows whipping past the air. The rain was just a bonus. Her thumb brushed past her ear as she blinked, concentrating on the dead centre of the target. Before she let the nock go, she felt a presence almost as dead as her grandmother on her side.

“I didn’t know rain and violence enticed you.”

Startled, y/n turned her head to look at the origin of the voice, letting go of her shot as it hit the centre with a sound. She sighed and gave her a warning look before she spoke, “It’s about to get more violent if you don’t step aside, Wednesday.”

“You’re getting better at your threats.” Wednesday plainly stated, earning a scoff from the girl who held the arrow on her side. “Hello, Y/N. Your archery is impressive.”

Did she do it right? Did she give a nice compliment? Will she take it well? Wednesday would owe Thing if it worked, but she’ll decapitate a piece of his finger if it didn’t. She didn’t know if she was in the right mind or was y/n looking more goddess-like under the stormy clouds.

Her hair was wet with rain falling down on her face. Still, her eyes sparked a feeling in Wednesday’s chest, something that got right up her throat that she swallowed immediately to refrain. She looked at her up and down, noticing how the lustrous shine of the weather made her seem like she was the weather.

“Get to the point, Addams. If you’re kissing my ass for a favour, it’s not going to work.”

Y/N wasn’t making it easy for her. She was going off what Thing told her she would say, and it was making the whole situation difficult to surpass. What should she say now? If she went out with the truth, how pathetic would she look?

Wednesday defied feelings.

But could she now? Especially when it was the truth, and Y/N was staring right at her face, flushing a certain disgusting colour on her cheeks that she hated and swore never to let on her skin. The deathly cold temperature of her body was running hot from the look she was giving her. Her Uncle Fester was surely away, but she felt electric sensations stabbing her insides. As much as she loved stabbing, she would like it better if she was the one holding the knife.

“You’re wasting my time — ”

“I did notice you, even from the very beginning that the page of my life in Nevermore turned. That was until I got preoccupied by what was hiding in the forest, seeking its next victim. I feared that I will destroy this school to ruins, hurt the people I do not care about, and the people I tolerate.” Wednesday suddenly started. She walked closer to the girl who ruled the archery grounds and continued, “I admit I lost sight of you since then. Hence why I’m here. To apologise to you for my irresponsibility.”

The lack of emotion in her voice would have ruined the whole speech, but for y/n, it was the lack of something else. She was expecting her to tell her more, rather than just a simple sentiment that left her hanging whether Wednesday reciprocated her feelings or not. However, she understood completely that no matter how many days, weeks, months, and years that she planned to ignore the certain Addams, she would never manage to have her see her in the way she wanted. A ‘no’ is a ‘no’ after all, even if it was delivered indirectly and unpolished.

Y/N nodded and turned to the target halfway when Wednesday spoke again, noticing the deprivation of enlightenment in the speech she gave. The girl in the darker uniform sighed and looked down, unable to meet the eyes of the girl before her as she questioned, “The day you told me you had something important to say, what was it?”

“Does it matter? You didn’t care enough to show up and know.”

That caused a slight intoxicating heartache that made her come to her senses and feel the searing gaze of the girl. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to join you, but now that I realise the gravity of the matter, I wish to know what you wanted to say.”

“You have an idea as to what it was.” Y/N was tougher to crack this time around.

“But I want your enlightenment, y/n.” But Wednesday was more stubborn than she ought to be.

“You really won’t leave me alone for shit, won’t you?”

“Not unless you tell me.”

Y/N’s furrowed eyebrows only met again closely. She threw the bow down to the ground and marched past Wednesday, not wanting to tell her what it was or it will make her look pathetic again. If she told her, she wouldn’t be able to help herself. How would it look when a deep-feeling person cried in front of someone who didn’t give a fuck about anything?

“Y/N.”

“Wednesday, you’ve done enough damage and I’m trying to stay the fuck away from you and steer clear out of your way but you keep appearing with your stupid braids!” She exclaimed exasperatedly. “You just see me when you need me for something. You don’t notice me like you said you have. You never looked at me in the perspective that could show more of what I could be! You never see more than someone to satisfy your convenience, and if I’m just that, just a speck of dust on your shoe, just leave me be, okay?”

That was it. Wednesday never saw her this angry before, but the displeasure of emotion it brought felt well-deserved to herself. After all, she was the reason for it.

“Because I’m tired of throwing myself to someone— you, and not see it being given an answer to. If you wanted me to stop, you could have said so, but no. You never truly noticed, did you?” Y/N’s voice cracked, and there she knew, she had to keep it brief before she started embarrassing herself before Wednesday. The girl who never cried ever since she reaised it never did anything. “That day I invited you to Weathervane, I intended it to be something more than friends would do. I wanted to tell you how I felt around you, because you were a part of everything I did ever since I started showing up in your dorm every single day and saw so much of you from afar. The mood I get from you affects the whole day ahead. I was fascinated about how you knew so much yet also knew so little. You never truly realised how perfect you are in every single aspect, and even the tainted side, I embraced it all, because that was how willing I was to devote myself to you. I knew I wouldn’t have a shot because even if I knew how you’d take a three-minute break from writing or which type of drink you’d usually order, I don’t know anything about you. I don’t even know if you liked people like me. Fuck, do you even like girls at all? I don’t know, because do you even want me to know y—”

Wednesday has had enough of her angry outburst slash teenage angst confession under the rain slash rant, because now that the letters of each words have reached her ears and processed in her head, and her heart pounded in sync with the cello solo constantly playing in the back of her mind, she felt impatient with waiting for the end of Y/N’s dramatic confession.

Impatient that she couldn’t wait another second to march forward, aggressively pull her by the collar and crash her lips against hers, taking the girl by surprise as Wednesday pulled away shortly after before mumbling, “You always talked too much.”

“Wait, does that mean—?”

Wednesday wanted to roll her eyes, but her emotionless stare at Y/N’s face already gave the answer the girl was looking for, as well as another surprising kiss that warmed their bodies in the cold misty weather, hearing one another’s hearts go wild inside their chests like birds begging to be freed into the wild.

Wednesday hated teenage angst, but now maybe there was a part of it she tolerated.

Suddenly, a squawk from the distance was heard, followed by a crow falling right next to them, causing the two to pull away and look.

Y/N could have sworn Wednesday smiled, but she was quick to recover from the plague of crescent lips.

“In case you were wondering, that was a sign of approval from my dead ancestors.” The young Addams informed.

She wasn’t sure why y/n didn’t scream or take what she said before back and say she regretted it all, but Wednesday liked the circumstance as it was.

It was just her and y/n, the dead crow on the archery field, and the peculiar teenage outcast angst under the cliché rain.

“If you tell the others any vivid details about this, I will kill you, calcify your heart and keep it in my drawer.”

“I’d like to see you try, Mary Shelley.”

[sillysnack]

nothing a date can’t fix

— saiki kusuo x reader (gn, 2nd pov)

— summary: Something’s bothering you, Saiki knows that. He doesn’t know the specifics, and neither do you want to indulge him in your problems. Is a spontaneous café date going to help?

— notes: ok this is originally for my self insert 😆 #crazy and this is insanely self-indulgent....!! not beta read! none of my works are

— things: ooc saiki kusuo me thinks... fluff? semi-established relationship

“Saiki.”

At this point in your relationship, you had suspicions of Saiki having powers. You didn’t push it, though. Saiki must’ve kept it secret for a reason.

For that, his appreciation for you grows a little more every day he spends with you. He’ll tell you once you two label the relationship.

After you mentioned his name, Saiki turns to you. His expression was unreadable as ever. Yours, however, was clear as day. You were upset about... something.

“Do you... want to go stop by Café Mami? I know we’re supposed to just head straight home today and you probably aren’t in the mood to go out right now, but–”

Before you could ramble any further, Saiki replies, “Of course.” ... Your thoughts and words were going at the same speed and shared the same nervous tone, Saiki needed to press pause on at least one of them. He’s glad both stopped.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. “Thanks. I’ll buy you coffee jelly.”

A smile makes its way to Saiki’s face. Even if it was only for a short time, your heart swelled with joy at the sight.

The walk towards Café Mami was silent. Usually, Saiki wouldn’t mind the silence. Hell, he even liked the comfortable silence that accompanied you both in your walks home, but something felt off.

“Is something bothering you?”

You look at Saiki. “Mm? No. I’m fine.”

... Saiki didn’t need his telepathy to pick up on the fact that you weren’t fine. The fact you were suspicious of his powers wasn’t helping, either. Saiki would be lying if he said it didn’t bother him, hearing and seeing you upset yet unable to help you.

“Stop thinking about it.” Was what Saiki heard as he peered into your thoughts. As well as, “Just need to spend time with Saiki, and it’ll all be fine. No need to talk about it.”

What was the it that seemed to bother you so much? Saiki hopes you’ll tell him once you two are at Café Mami.

...

“Saiki, Y/N! Welcome! What can I get for you two?”

You smile at Mera. “Two coffee jellies, thanks. Ah, make it three.” Mera nods as she takes note of your order.

“Three?”

You turn to Saiki before answering, “One for me, two for you.”

“Thank you, you’re godsent. Are you okay?”

You bite your inner cheek, unsure how to answer Saiki. You found no use in lying to him. He’s probably hearing your thoughts at the moment.

You’re right, I am.

You shake your head.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You shake your head again.

You watch as Saiki takes out a small ring from his pocket and slips it on.

“You wear rings?”

“Sometimes.”

You look at the ring around Saiki’s finger. It was a nice silver with blue in the middle, you couldn’t tell what gem it was, but you thought it looked nice on Saiki.

Of course, you were unaware of the main purpose of the ring; to block out Saiki’s telepathy. You didn’t want to talk about your problems, but that doesn’t stop you from thinking about it. Saiki wears the ring so he doesn’t unknowingly pry into your private life.

It’s silent between you two again, but Saiki can feel the previous cloud of discomfort that loomed over you vanishing. He exhales.

You yawn. “Do you mind if I... lean on your shoulder a little bit?”

Saiki shakes his head. He didn’t mind the action; it wasn’t necessarily a display of affection. You were sleepy and Saiki isn’t just going to let you rest your head on the table, that surface is for dessert only. He isn’t going to let you strain your neck in some uncomfortable position that other people seemed to put themselves in just to catch up on sleep.

There weren’t a lot of familiar faces in Café Mami as well. Even if someone from PK were to show up, he could easily wake you up.

Lastly, Saiki likes the peaceful look on your face when you nap on his shoulder.

“Thanks, Kusuo.” You rest your head on his shoulder and look up at him. “Wake me up when the coffee jelly’s here?”

Saiki nods. He’s considering taking off the ring once he’s sure he can’t read your thoughts, but that would mean hearing the thoughts of others around you two.

With the ring on, it’s silent. Peaceful. Saiki can focus his attention better to you without the unwanted thoughts he’s constantly hearing.

Perhaps I’ll wear it for a few more minutes.

Saiki looks at you and smiles. He doesn’t know (yet) what’s bothering you, but, he knows he’ll help you in any way he can. If the help you want right now is to spend time with him in a café, then be it.

Saiki fiddles with the ring on his finger. He thinks, I hope you’ll be okay soon.

A few minutes pass and from a distance, Saiki sees Mera approaching their booth with three servings of coffee jelly, his eyes light up at the sight.

Saiki gently shrugs his shoulder, waking you up.

“Coffee jelly’s here.”

You two watch as Mera places the coffee jelly in front of you; more on Saiki waiting excitedly while you’re... excited because he’s excited.

“Order’s complete! Enjoy, you two.”

You nod. “Thanks, Mera.” You slide the two cups of coffee jelly to Saiki.

“Where’s my spoon?”

You grin. “In my hand. Say “ahh”!”

Saiki frowns. “I am not going to be spoonfed. Never in a million years.”

You laugh and dip the spoon in one of Saiki’s coffee jellies. “Of course you aren’t. Here,” you slide the coffee jelly closer to Saiki. “At least let me take a photo of you?”

Good grief. “Fine.”

You take out your phone and point it towards Saiki.

“Do I pose?”

You answer him, “Do whatever you want. It’s not like I’m posting these. I’ll probably just make it my wallpaper.”

Saiki rolls his eyes. He takes a spoonful of coffee jelly and smiles, the exact moment you were hoping to capture– which you successfully do.

Saiki didn’t need to take off his ring to tell that you were feeling much, much better by then.

[deathbxnny]

Hi there! So i hope you don't mind a sorta specific request but can I request a HSR men (Jing Yuan, Gepard, Welt Yang, Dan Heng, Caelus, Luo Cha, and Blade) x s/o who has gotten their Vision taken away from them

So you know in genshin impact, when someone gets there vision taken. They become sorta lifeless.

So how would they react to hearing they're s/o desperately screaming to give their Vision back (similar to how Scaramouche screams at nahida to give the electro gnosis back)

How would they react seeing their s/o look so lifeless ever since they're vision got taken (kinda like this https://twitter.com/kurolee97/status/1418651048151973889 )

And lastly how would they react to seeing they're s/o go back to their usual self after getting their Vision back.

Again apologies for the sorta specific request, hope you have a good day!

----♡

A/N: Hello! I thank you for the request! I really love the idea! I however limited the characters to 4, as I have many asks to go through at the moment! I hope, I didn't disappoint you by this and you can still enjoy it!<33

Also a sincere thank you to everyone for 300 followers! I am so glad that people enjoy my work and that just motivates me to do better everyday! Thank you very much!<33

Featured characters: Welt, Jing Yuan, Blade, Gepard

Content: Angst, mentions of reader being lifeless, vision loss, fluff, established relationships

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not fully proofread))

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》Welt Yang

When he hears you screaming for your vision, he'll practically teleport to your side in an instant in worry. If he catches the person who dared hurt, he'll deal with them easily for you. If he doesn't catch them and they get away with your vision, he'll promise to make them pay for what they've done and get it back for you in no time.

He'll be quite heartbroken and frustrated seeing you in your lifeless state, even if he doesn't show it. He'll make sure to take care of you well and that all your needs are met even in his absence by the Astral Express crew. Welt would just be so upset, that he wasn't able to protect you and the guilt would take a while to disappear, even when you're normal again.

Speaking of normal, once he's able to finally get your vision back for you, he'll be clinging at your side in his own way for months after in worry. He's so happy that you're okay again, but the guilt is just killing him. With your reassurance and affection, he'll definitely get back to his usual state too. He's just happy to have you back.

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》Jing Yuan

He most likely only heard what happened through someone telling him during his work hours. He never left work as fast as he did that way and would practically bark orders at his soldiers to find whoever took away your vision. Jing Yuan always put your safety before everything, so his stress levels and frustrations were just heightened at the lifeless sight of you.

He'd be unable to focus at work anymore after seeing the state you were in and therefore would take some time off his duties to stay with you. He takes care of you all day and night at the expense of his own health and promises you, that you'll be okay again soo, even if you can't hear him.

Once the person with your vision was caught and you were turned back to your usual self, he was still very paranoid and worried about you for a couple weeks after. He'll make sure that guards accompany you everywhere you go and that you're never out of his sight for too long. He just never wants to see you like that ever again.

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》Blade

Hearing your screams of anguish and panic would probably make him go nearly insane. He'd be at your side immediately, sword ready to strike down anyone that dared coax such a horrific sound out of you, until he is met with only your lifeless form and your vision gone.

He'd rip apart the entire universe to find whoever it was that hurt you, yet always returned back home to you after a long day of searching to take care of you. He has a hard time showing his affections, but he'll still make sure your comfortable and that all your needs are met.

Once he finally destroys the person and gets your vision back, he'll stay even closer at your side and not allow anyone to near you. His hand would always protectively be at your waist and he'll glare at absolutely everyone in your vicinity. Deep down, he's unbelievably happy to see you again.

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》Gepard Landau

The moment he hears what had happened to you from the frontlines, he'll immideatly make his way back into the city to see you. Gepard will practically also dispatch an entire army to find the person who stole your vision and will only rest, once he can find them.

Meanwhile, he's absolutely heartbroken and shattered at the sight of your lifeless state. He'll leave you in Serval's care, whilst he searches and makes sure to always come back to take care of you himself. Gepard will make you as comfortable as possible and shower you with love and affection even in your state. He just hopes, that you'll maybe feel it anyways.

The moment you're back to normal, he'll hold you close and apologise for not having been there to protect you. He'll spoil you as an apology and makes sure you're guarded by his soldiers at all times from now on. Gepard won't ever let you get hurt like that again, that's for sure.

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A/N: I hope this was okay! Thank you again for the interesting request!<33

[green-alm0nd]

How each of the Bad Batch would react to

“I’m just so stupid! How can you possibly want to be around me?” Female / Male / GN Reader exclaims in tears.

+ possible Rex and other clones

[The Bad Batch x trans!male!reader (Headcanons)]: Light in the dark (+ Rex, Howzer & Fives)

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Summary:

You've been feeling very self-conscious lately. Your favourite clone is there to comfort you.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Angst, trans reader, mentions of gender dysphoria, self hatred, mentions of mental breakdowns, overwhelming thoughts, comfort, established relationship. Not proofread. Kinda self indulgent but it doesn't really matter.

A/N: I was looking for one of these type of requests for pride month heehee

Enjoy!

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HUNTER:

Hunter could feel something odd happening around you. He knew you had been struggling with gender dysphoria for a long time, and that odd feeling was the one he used to assign whenever you felt that dysphoria crawling back up.

So, he ran. He ran towards your shared bunk with a slight hint of worry on his heart. He found you crying, sitting down, probably in the middle of a mental breakdown, clenching your chest with tears in your eyes.

He kneeled down, looking into your eyes and asking what was wrong, before you said in tears:

"I'm just so stupid! How can you possibly want to be around me?"

His eyes widened and a pang on his chest brought him back to the gravity of the situation.

He placed his arms around your figure, hugging you tightly.

"You're not stupid. You're amazing, you're resilient. And I love you because of that. I want to be around you, you're an awesome person. Never forget that, trooper." He said.

That gave you enough comfort to believe his words.

ECHO:

Echo came back from a long mission, and headed to your bunk. It was clear that something had happened, since he heard your sobs from across the door. He know you've struggled after you came out as trans, and he's been supportive throughout the entire path. Still, he know it's hard to keep it fine sometimes.

He opened the door, and saw you crying, hugging your arms, with your head low. The clone's expression softened, slowly walking closer to make you know he was there and in order not to scare you.

He sat down besides you, wrapping an arm around your small figure before he heard you say:

"I'm just so stupid! How can you possibly want to be around me?"

To this, his eyes widened, and he pulled you even closer, letting you cry.

"That's not true...you're not stupid. You're a brave man, and I love you so much for that." He said, kissing your forehead.

Echo is not a fan of physical touch, whether it's given or received. However, in moments like this, he doesn't mind giving you physical affection for as long as you'd like.

And you love him for that.

WRECKER:

He knows something is wrong immediately. He may act silly, but he's not dumb. He knows when you're feeling down, and he's been with you every single time you broke down in tears. He's the same with his brothers: he's the glue that kept Crosshair and Hunter from fighting so many times. He's the glue that kept you away from hurting most of the time.

Wrecker knew you were trans. He once tried to beat up a guy for misgendering you, but it's not like he can do that every time because 1) He'll draw attention to himself and the Bad Batch is not on the position to draw attention, and 2) It will make Hunter upset and won't let him go eat Mantell mix with you and Omega.

He opened the door, and saw you on the floor, hugging your knees. He felt his heart beat faster, concern washing all over his face. He also got worried when he heard you say:

"I'm just so stupid! How could you possibly want to be around me?"

To this, he gave you the biggest hug he's ever given you. He never really knew what boundaries were, he didn't know that word existed. But, he wasn't good at keeping boundaries when it came to hugging in middle of panic attacks, but he just had to do it because it's the only way he shows comfort.

"Come here. You're okay, you're fine. You're not stupid, you're pretty dang smart! And besides, who will I share Mantell Mix with whole Omega isn't here if it isn't you?" He said.

That definitely made you laugh.

TECH:

This man has, of course, studied about your emotions. When you feel them, what that emotion is associated to/with, if there's a reason it even 'triggered' whether it's positive or negative...

Like I said, he has studied your emotions. And it doesn't take a handsome man, with brown hair and goggles to understand and see that you're not doing well based on your position, and the tears flowing in your face. And, you told him you were trans and still struggling with gender dysphoria, so he figured it was linked to that this time.

He also understands why, but he is surprised when he hears you say:

"I'm just so stupid! How could you possibly want to be around me!"

Tech gets very uncomfortable when it comes to showing physical affection. Though there's small moments when he doesn't mind showing his love for you.

"Sarad, I do not think you're thinking clearly. You are not stupid, nor anything similar. You are a valuable team member and this group could not have done remarkable things without you. I also feel rather flattered when I find out that you listen to me when I speak. Which is something Crosshair lacks on, for example." He explained, awkwardly placing an arm around you.

He's very awkward when it comes to this stuff but he doesn't mind giving a thirty minute rant on how much he appreciates and loves you.

CROSSHAIR:

This man notices everything. He may not have Hunter's enhanced senses nor Tech's ability to notice things based on actions; but he has the eye of a hawk and a sharp mind. Of course, he knew you were trans. And it wasn't the first time that he had seen you break down and be mad at yourself. He tried multiple times to change that, and he still tries.

He enters your shared room, keeping some distance between you two to give you space, especially since you were crying and breaking down, hugging yourself while you sat on the bed. His gaze softened when he heard you say:

"I'm just so stupid! How could you possibly want to be around me?"

He slowly got closer, to the point where he sat down on the bed and gave the side of your forehead a small kiss.

"I've felt the same for a long time, and those thoughts bring no good for you. Trust me." He said, staring at you. Crosshair grabbed your chin, and forced you to look at him.

"You...gave me a second chance when no one did. I owe you that, and much more." He swore.

He gave you another kiss on your forehead before he placed an arm around you.

REX (bonus)

Now, Rex doesn't have enhanced senses, a great mind nor an eye of a hawk. But, he has a big heart and more than half of it belongs to you. You and the clone have been dating for a while, and he can tell when you're not doing alright. Especially, when you told him that sometimes gender dysphoria gets a bit hard to handle.

He come back to your shared barrack, only to see you crying with your back against the wall, curled in a ball. He quickly closed the door, and ran towards you.

He kneeled down, asking if you were okay, before he heard the words:

"I'm just so stupid! How could you possibly want to be around me?"

He pulled you close, hugging you tightly before he let go, and smothered your face with kisses.

"I can't believe you're saying that! You're not stupid! You're beautiful!" He said, between kisses.

"I love being around you, sarad! You're one of the best thins that's ever happened to me! Of course I want to be around you!" He exclaimed.

HOWZER (bonus)

Howzer is like Rex. He came back from a tiring mission on Ryloth, and he only wanted to see you. However, it broke his heart to see you cry, and to see how bad you were doing. He felt guilty for not being there that often, since he was always in missions.

He took off his chest plate, and sat down next to you. He waited for you to speak, but when you didn't speak for a long time, he opened his mouth for you to say:

"I'm just so stupid! How could you possibly want to be around me?"

He placed an arm around you, pulling you closer to his chest.

"Don't listen to the voices, please." He whispered, hugging you.

He knows you've struggled with gender dysphoria, and he's tried to make the voices smaller. However, he knows it's not always easy, and that they come out pretty often.

"You're an amazing person. Those who don't want to be around you don't know what they're losing. You're a great friend, and a pretty great boyfriend too." He reassured.

FIVES (bonus)

Fives used to be the type of boyfriend to distract you from the voices by doing things together: watching a holomovie, playing games, etc. However, when he realised your body dysphoria was getting worse, he knew he had to change his strategy. He bought you a few binders a long time ago, and you've used them plenty of times.

He still hated to see you cry. Especially when you sounded so broken. Though, Fives always came to the rescue. This time, too.

He entered your shared apartment, and saw you sobbing on the sofa. He approached you and hugged you close, but his eyes widened when he heard you say:

"I'm just so stupid! How could you possibly want to be around me?"

His expression softened, and he forced you to look at him by placing his hands on your cheeks.

"I won't let you say that, 'aight? You're far from stupid! You're smart, brave and strong. Heck, the entire 501st wants to meet you! They adore you and so do I!" He said, with a soft smile.

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HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

As a trans male boy, I feel so proud that there's a month of representation for me, and for others like me!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed your request anon! Stay safe and remember to drink water!

[thechibilitwick]

more ramblings that sit in my drafts for an unspecified amount of time before i eventually decide to finish and post them!!! (also sorry if someone has already done an analysis like this i just thought it was an interesting detail)

today I shall go over what I believe the woman that Kazui is seen with in Half is supposed to represent. (+ some general analysis)

This lady is basically the reason why the entire cheating theory existed in the first place, and understandably so. But after his T2 voice drama, Kazui confirms that he never actually cheated (also his wedding ring is. right there. on his finger. man.) If that's the case, then who is this woman? If he didn't cheat, why would a random woman be in his MV? I actually think the answer might not be that complex:

The woman simply represents women.

For one, there are two other side character in the MV besides this lady: Hinako and the bartender. Moreover, both of those characters have a significant difference from the woman: they don't have a full set of facial features.

I personally believe that Kazui views them without eyes because they are people he finds painful to remember. Therefore, the woman still having her eyes visible would mean that she isn’t as significant as Hinako or the bartender.

Moreover, the way the woman is framed has a lot of implications.

The first scene establishes a correlation with the lady and Hinako. Both scenes are framed similarly, and both have Kazui staring at them. (with the same "i'm such an old man. yaoi." look on his face idk how else to describe it) The only difference is that there are two different versions, or sides, of Kazui.

Kazui in the bar, suit and all, has been heavily implied to represent his “true desires”. He's the one that notices Kazui watching from the audience and makes him notice the apple, and the one who appears in the champagne glass in Cat.

Kazui in the house, less dressed-up than bar Kazui, likely represents how he believes he should act. He looks upset over the distance between him and Hinako and he’s the one who's shocked upon realizing his actual feelings.

With this in mind, the transition between both women has implications on the way Kazui views them and in turn how he views women (in terms of his desires vs. what's expected of him.)

The second scenes then implies what it specifically is that both sides of Kazui feels about women.

The first scene starts off with Kazui in the house, staring down at his wedding ring with a sizable distance between him and Hinako.

Then the scene shifts to Kazui in the bar, where the woman is probably drunk, and leaning onto him with possible hints of intimacy. Yet he ends up putting the woman aside.

This is where what the lady possibly represents becomes a bit more clear. Similar to Magritte's art (which Kazui's MVs regularly reference), the woman is not a literal woman, but the representation of a woman. Kazui pushing away the woman as his desired 'true self' could mean he doesn’t feel the need to comply to the expectation of being attracted to or in a relationship with a woman.

Both scenes also contrast each other. The distance between Kazui and either woman as well as the way he reacts to said distance are the opposite. Kazui and Hinako have a considerable gap between them, and he feels guilty for this because of the expectation of being in a (heterosexual) marriage. Despite believing that this is what's 'correct' and what'll lead to happiness, he's still somehow failing.

Kazui and the bar lady have practically no space between them, yet Kazui is able to put her aside because he doesn't feel the need to conform. Even if she's conventionally attractive and is being intimate with Kazui, he quite literally does not give a shit.

Ok this is kinda getting wordy so I shall close off here. tl;dr I personally think the bar lady serves the purpose of symbolizing women, marriage, and maybe even heteronormativity, in order to express Kazui's conflicting views. Maybe I'm actually wrong and she really is an existing person, but uhh hey the themes still hold up in regards to Kazui soooo

(also it's possible that the woman is purposely between him and the bartender in both scenes, because societal norms still get in his way of his actual feelings or smth idk i can't word anymore)

anyways that's all i hope this makes sense 🥹