#((I don't know if Tumblr squished any.))

[riding-the-sunset-bird]

A character reference based on all four Steps of Our Life! It's only "sort of" a height reference as well since obviously they're not 100% accurate (the devs don't have specific heights for everyone to my knowledge).

I did dig into the code to try and get characters at their "normal" heights but there are other matters at play too (example: Nicolas is obviously "taller" than he should be because he needs to be pushed upwards to be visible enough above the game's text box; likewise with other very short characters).

Still, this should serve as either a nice reference guide for every character or a "height reference" in the sense of getting an idea of which characters are shorter/taller than others.

I'm also going to detail some extra notes below the break, including posts from GB Patch's Tumblr that reference any defined heights (with Cove being the obvious one) or general height things, as well as some more stuff about the MC's height in comparison to the three love interests depending on what you pick.

Cove's height is listed on GB Patch's FAQ as 4' 1" in Step 1 (also stated as "mostly average, perhaps a bit on the short side"), 5' 4" in Step 2 (in-game this is defined as "very tall" on the MC's potential height spectrum, as that is the only option considered on par with Cove's height), 6' 0" in Step 3, and 6' 4" in Step 4. A fun fact is that Cove's final height was originally 6' 3" (191cm) instead.

Derek in Step 2 is under five feet tall (this post also lists Cove as "around 5 and a half feet tall" which you could take as either close enough to 5' 4" as stated above or a potential original height he had that got changed). In-game, he's "short" but not "very short", as having your MC be "very short" will prompt narration telling you that you're shorter than Derek, whereas "short" only has you relate to him in smolness generally.

Step 4 Derek is "mostly average." He wouldn't be considered tall nor would he be considered short. His youngest brother Nicolas will "probably end up as a similar height to him" once he's more grown up.

Step 4 Baxter is "taller than average, but not especially tall."

I've been informed that, on the Our Life Patreon Discord, Step 4 Derek's height is listed as 5' 9" (175cm) whereas Step 4 Baxter's is listed as 5' 11" (180cm), so those are their defined heights. Before that, both of their heights had jumped around somewhat. A post from 2019 said that Derek was 5' 11", but a post from June 2021 said that Baxter was 5' 11" and Derek was 5' 9" (so consistent with the Discord). Then there's also another post from July 2021 (you'll have to scroll down for this one) that listed Baxter at around 5' 10" while Derek was 5' 8"/5' 9". If you're insane enough to try and use the character reference too, then Baxter would actually be around 6'1" at minimum since he's taller than Step 3 Cove (though you could also make the same argument that this means the mom trio of Pamela, Noelani, and Kyra must be decently tall as well since they're so close to Cove on the character reference).

I don't have any experience with GB Patch's other game, XOXO Droplets, so I don't know what ages the characters are in it, but since both Shiloh and Jeremy are characters seen visibly in Our Life, I thought I'd also mention that they're listed as 5' 10" and 5' 5" (or 5' 5 1/2") respectively in XOXO Droplets. Jeremy also apparently grows to 5' 8" in his 20s and he's 22 in the Our Life Cove Wedding DLC (I don't think this is spoken of in the game specifically but he's labeled as 22 in the code).

As for the MC and how their height plays into things, "tall" and "very tall" as well as "short" and "very short" tend to be considered the same for the most part in the game's code. It's not that there isn't a difference at all (I would say it's still notable), it's just that sometimes the game may be more vague about height differences. My post about Errands references this where you don't need more athletic points due to being "very short" instead of "short" to give Cove a piggyback ride.

A guesstimate I'd make is that about 5% of the time, the game will take note of whether you're "very tall" instead of "tall" or "very short" instead of "short." Otherwise, you're either "generally tall," "average," or "generally short." There are also other instances (usually with Cove) where the game might just check if you're either generally tall (around Cove's height) or not generally tall (i.e: definitely shorter than him).

This is actually relevant to the heights because, following all above information, one would assume that Step 4 Derek is average, Step 4 Baxter is tall, and Step 4 Cove is very tall going off the MC's potential "height spectrum" of very short, short, average, tall, and very tall, but it's not entirely the case.

A "tall" MC (generally tall) will look "down" at Step 4 Baxter just as he will look "up" at them or they'll look directly at each other if the MC is "average," same as Step 3 Baxter, but--

when the game has any instance of differentiating between "tall" and "very tall" (they never do this for Step 3 Baxter so the base assumption would have to be that he's just average height), things change.

During Baxter's apology in the wedding of his Step 4, Baxter dips his chin to look at the MC if they're "short"/"very short," levels his chin to look at the MC if they're "average"/"tall," and then lifts his chin to look at the MC if they're "very tall." A generally tall MC still has to lean down to kiss him if they choose to do so though.

Also, during the intimacy scene with Baxter (either in his office or his living room), if the MC is "very short," "short," or "average," it states that Baxter is taller than them. If they're "very tall," then Baxter is shorter than them, but a "tall" MC is "almost the exact same height" as him.

This is all a really long-winded way of saying that GB Patch referring to Step 4 Baxter being "taller than average but not especially tall" might mean that he's some infuriating middle ground between average and tall where he's not quite one but not quite the other either (which honestly is very Baxter of him so I can't even be mad).

[threezzyo]

꒰ ˒ take you to the basics∘︴toji z.

↬ you and toji zenin have a fun time at the aquarium. ⇢ sfw, no cw!

∾ zenin toji x gn!reader. modern au. no curse au. toji lives with his big family and you're already close with them. established relationship. height difference mentioned kinda. tiptoe kisses. fluff. young teenage love. aquarium date. comfort. healthy relationship. (my dream date actually)

a/n: i tried making this with little gendered pronouns, so everyone can read! i'd appreciate any feedback! title is a reference from 'basics' by twice <3

dividers are made by cafekitsune (tumblr)

your favorite part of the aquarium was definitely the moon jellyfish. you admire how the jellies drift carelessly through the ocean, their delicate tentacles glimmering in the soft aquarium light, the chatter of the vivacious crowd around you, and your first love, toji zenin.

you had easily won over his family. it wasn't hard, you just acted like yourself. always polite, eagerly listening to the elder's stories. toji would be annoyed because it seemed that you would only come over to play with his cousins, mai and maki, or make tea for his grandfather.

the water feels like cold glass on your skin. the tank was huge, lots of people crowded around it as people excitedly touched the fish. using two fingers to softly pat the little translucent jellies.

"won't they sting ya?" a gruff voice rumbles in your ear. toji zenin, your boyfriend of three years, told you a week ago he'd never been to an aquarium. like the overly excited partner you are, you bought tickets to the local aquarium and dragged him here.

its just fish, he said. but he's here yelping as one of the tiny invertebrates brush his fingers ever so slightly.

"baby, its just a little jellyfish. why are you so scared?" you tease him, as you two wander around the building.

"...they could sting me." he mumbled, flushed from your teasing. he'd never admit it, but he loves likes it.

you laugh in response, tiptoeing to kiss his cheek. "its okay, i'll protect you from the moon jellies. poor baby toji." you squish his cheeks, overly sticking out your bottom lip.

"oi. stop." he grumbles.

"okay, okayy." you laugh, letting go of his face and holding his hand instead.

the sound of gently bubbling water, the sight of colorful fish and aquatic plants, and the calming effect of underwater lights create a serene atmosphere. toji can't take his eyes off of you, keeping you close at all times as you excitedly point out at the clownfish.

"i caught that fish in animal crossing. and that one. ooh... i've always wanted to get one of those, but they never spawn on my island." you ramble off excitedly.

"you're so cute, darling. could watch ya like this the whole day."

normally, he'd be bored, but it seems so relaxing looking at the shiny scales, or the underwater forests, with the kelp, coral, and anemones.

"are you having fun?" you murmur, holding his hand and leaning onto his shoulder. "i hope you are."

"of course i am." he replies smoothly, pressing a chaste kiss on your forehead. "i'd always have fun with you."

you beam up at him, watching the surgeonfish swim without a care in the world. "i love you."

he chuckles, wrapping you up in a big hug, his arms tight around your waist. "oh, i love you too. so fucking much."

a/n: i hope it's decent i literally don't know how to add more ig😭 next i have a satoru fluff and i have an idea in the making for yuuji! i feel like i'm writing too much fluff and no like angst or smut but we'll see😜

[honey-milk-depresso]

Alright so I really like your writing and I was wondering if I could request smt ?? Can I request some fluff With Malleus , Floyd and Azul from Twisted Wonderland with a (S/O) who is more on the chubby side and gets easily flustered about it .

Hey, so I've been really busy with schoolwork recently and so I'm not around on Tumblr so often anymore. Sorry for any troubles!

**TW: Mentions of the chest- cuz- titty soft and warm let's be real (not explicit), A bit of insecurity (but trust me your loved, by me also <3)

TWST Chubby s/o who gets easily flustered about it

Azul Ashengrotto

He has the same experience when he was younger: he was a chubby octopus when he was much younger, Azul was a lot shyer about it. Maybe because he was insecure? He can't remember, but he does feel some sympathy towards you.

Azul adores you, and he thinks you're just, well, cute. Body type doesn't really matter to him, so long as he knows you're taking care of your health is already the best.

Your darling octopus loves to just bury his face into your stomach or chest, and just sigh in satisfaction. You just provide him a warm and soft comfort after a long day, and the security and love he needs.

He hides his amusement whenever he does this, you're blushing and stuttering never cease to be endearing to him.

If you're ever insecure about being chubby, he's always there for you, and he feels disheartened to hear you feel such about your body when he feels you're beautiful, adorable and just... perfect.

"My dear pearl... I love you for who you are, and you're perfect the way you are." <3

Floyd Leech

For Floyd, he feels like he's hit jackpot. Aren't you the most adorable shrimpy there is~

Floyd loves your body; it's soft to lay his head on and you're his personal warm cuddly shrimp he wants to affectionately hug all the time when he's tired, in a bad mood or just out of randomness because he loves that feeling.

Personally for Floyd, he loves that you're chubby. It makes you adorable to him and he loves that you're very easy to fluster whenever he lies on your chest.

He loves squishing and pinching your cheeks lightly since they're just so soft. Sometimes he lightly pinches your stomach from behind to surprise you and no matter how many times you whine about it, he'll do it anyways (unless you really don't like it).

Floyd doesn't get it whenever you feel insecure about your body. Not that he's indifferent, but to him, he thought that your chubbiness should be something you're proud of. He loves it, so why don't you?

"Shrimpy, I think you're alright, so don't be so sulky about it. You're the cutest shrimpy no matter what hehe~" <3 and he cuddles you more-

Malleus Draconia

He finds you rather charming, a loveable child of man. Like Azul, Malleus doesn't care what type of body you have. So long as you're taking care of yourself, he's happy.

Besides, he finds your chubbiness adorable. Malleus, like the two other Octavinelle boys mentioned, likes to lay his head on your chest. All for the same reason: titty warm and soft because he feels secure and peaceful this way.

The dragon fae smiles fondly whenever he surprises you by randomly lying on your chest, his horns in a way encages your neck closer to him. He finds it endearing when you blush. It makes you even more cute than you already are~

He doesn't understand when you feel insecure about your body. He frowns with a pout after hearing about how you feel that people judge you for it, or that you wish you were thinner. Malleus already loves you for who you are, and he doesn't care what you look like. You're his source of happiness and he could never imagine life without you.

Besides, he thinks your chubbiness is the highlight about you. He loves it. Seriously.

"Child of man, your appearance is only a mere fraction of what truly makes you beautiful. Lilia told me before that true beauty lies in the heart, and I've come to understand it when I met you. Your "chubbiness" is something I love about you, don't you know? Regardless, you're the most beautiful person in the land, Child of man." <3

Reblogs help! ^^

[lucimarinee]

Pushover | dbf!Joel x f!Reader

Pairing: dbf!Joel x f!Reader

Summary: God knows you were born either with a spine made out of bubble wrap, or just spineless entirely, it's honestly kind of sad. It bothers you, of course, how everyone else seems to know that too. Quiet, pliable and unconfrontational, you were raised to occupy the least amount of space possible, and be out of the way most, if not all, of the time, and that's not really the recipe for an assertive, self-assured woman, now, is it? No, it's not, and you are painfully aware of that. And you become even more aware of that when you go back to Texas to visit your estranged dad, on your summer break from a college course you don't really want to pursue, to spend what was supposed to be a time of relaxation surrounded by people that seem to think it's funny to push your buttons, it annoys you to no end. But no one seems to get on your nerves more than that asshole your father calls his "best friend", Joel Miller, one of those old school kinds of men who have an irreverent attitude, a bite to their sense of humor, perceptive eyes, an unwavering voice to declare his will, and a penchant for provoking you.

Warnings: NO OUTBREAK, age gap (Joel is in his late-forties/early-fifties, reader is in her early twenties), praise kink, annoyance as foreplay /hj, fingering.

Word Count: 14,756

a/n: this was posted on ao3 first, you can find it here, but I thought that I should use my Tumblr too. This one-shot has a funny story, that being I woke up in the dead of night to write it because I "dreamed about it" when I was half asleep, I like to joke that I was possessed, I didn't stop writing until it was posted. Anyway, my first Tumblr post in this style, I hope you enjoy it :).

__________________________________________________________

You had a feeling the day was going to go badly, or at least less than ideal, but it's getting a bit too much, now.

It was just a combination of small things piling up on you.

It started in your plane, you had just boarded, barely even sat down, and a woman approached you with an attitude that reeked of veiled aggressiveness, asking you if "you'd be so kind to change seats" with her, so she could sit next to her husband. Unsure if it was the pressure of her gaze on you, or just the fact you're not very good at saying "no" , you obliged, moving from your nice window seat at the front of the plane — that you chose and paid for specifically —, to a middle seat further back.

No big deal, you thought, it was just a couple wanting to sit together, sure, they should have planned their trip better and booked their seats properly, like you did, but it would be, at the very least, unpolite if you said no. What reason did you have to deny her request, after all? "No, ma'am, I paid for this seat, I'd like to stay here" ? Sounds selfish, and you're not selfish.

Of course, the change to an uncomfortable seat, squished between two strangers, made the trip a lot longer, but eventually you landed, and it was all over. Until you heard there was a mishap with the luggage, so your baggage would be delayed, making you have to wait for God knows how long for the airline to get their shit together. Still, you sighed and nodded, there was no need to complain and go on a tirade about costumer's rights, gross neglect and incompetence on the part of the company, there were people doing that already, so you didn't have to join the misery party, you just had to wait.

You were tired, hungry, sore, and just wanted to rest, let this day be over. You just got back home — well, "home" — for summer break.

Coming back to Texas on any circumstance was a fucking chore, and it didn't help you felt obligated to, either. You were just fine out of state, as fine as you can be while pursuing a degree you didn't want, putting effort and energy on a thing your heart wasn't set on, but at least you were some place else , some place other than Austin, where you could let yourself be a little more. You were planning on going on a trip to somewhere nice, you had been saving a bit of money from your internship and side gigs with the intent of treating yourself — for once —, but your father had other plans.

He got in touch with you a few months ago, going on a rant about how you don't call or get in touch at all anymore, how you've been growing distant ever since you moved out to study, forgetting that you had a father that did everything for you, gave everything to you, that it was an ungrateful look, and how it didn't suit you.

It was his own special way of saying he missed you, and wanted you to visit.

Easy to say, you thought it was best to smooth out the situation and appease him by promising to come back on summer break, basically ruining your own plans because daddy sent you a strong worded text.

What a joke, you don't want to be there.

Another sigh leaves you, this one slightly more exasperated than the last. You hate that weather, you can feel that awful hot, humid air even when surrounded by the airport's heavy-duty air conditioning, the uncovered skin of your arms feels chilly, but it's like an uncomfortable, stuffy bubble of hot air hugs you without your permission, the phantom feeling of it makes you feel like a kid again, and you don't like it.

Some more minutes pass by, you sit down on a chair with a cold backrest after having filled a form at the airline's desk and leave it at that, swallowing back your annoyance and hoping for the best, and the best case scenario was just that your bag was misplaced in another flight, and would be hopefully arriving soon, worst case scenario, they lost the damn thing, and then — just then — it would be time to get openly upset.

But you hope it won't come to that.

"Hey." a gravely voice calls loud and clear beside you, "I thought I recognized ya."

You turn to look, and have to make a physical effort not to groan and keep yourself from making a face. God fucking damn it, it's Joel fucking Miller. He looks just like you remember him from, you don't know, a couple of years ago, from the last time you dropped by on vacation, the same rugged appearance, rough around the edges, with that same annoying, rustic charm, a bit different, though.

His hair was a bit longer, the few gray hairs you remember had grown into proper gray locks, sprinkling his head here and there, same with the beard, fuller, grayer, but somehow softer looking. But that was it for the differences, he still had the same direct and piercing eyes, like he had an aim that never missed its target, and, much to your chagrin, that same infuriating grin that you never quite understood what it meant, despite him always having it on his lips every time you were around.

"Hi." you say, getting up from your seat just out of politeness, you weren't on a hug or even a handshake basis, so you just stood there, awkwardly, stuffing your hands in your pockets like you had no idea what to do with them, "What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you, too, doll." he huffed a little chuckle, and had it been any other person, you would have blushed a few shades redder than his flannel shirt and apologized for your lack of respect, but it was just Joel, he seemed to enjoy being aggravating like that with you, "It's been a while hasn't it? What? Couple o' years?"

Fair enough, you muster a small diplomatic smile and nod, he's right, it had been a hot minute, but if it were up to you, it would have been even longer. Joel wore a pair of jeans and a flannel that you swear you've seen him wear before, it rings so familiar in your head, like the world's most irritating alarm clock, he's a physical, walking reminder that you're back in Texas, because he's always around you whenever you're there, courtesy of your father.

The two of them are friends, and have been for the longest time, ever since you were a tween, not that you can understand why, exactly, and for once it wasn't Joel's fault, it was your father's. It just didn't make sense that your father had friends, let alone in someone like Joel, you couldn't understand for the life of you what they had in common, and how the fuck did they meet and bond. Maybe you just didn't think of your father as someone pleasant enough to befriend or keep company, in fact, you sure don't, that's why you've been avoiding coming back for as long as you did.

But he's older, so is your dad, and maybe that's why the two of them clicked, and started doing whatever they do when they're together, you're sure they must have gone out to a bar and done things old men do.

"Yeah, it really has, huh?" you say back, looking to the side, as if it was embarrassing to even make eye contact for longer than a few seconds, "It's good to see you, though, Mr. Miller."

"Mm, don't you start with the mister thing." he raised an eyebrow, still looking at you, it made your neck burn, you weren't sure why, maybe just out of awkwardness, you never really knew how to act around him, especially not alone, and he always had such an intense stare, "Makes me sound old."

"Okay then, Mr. Miller." you can't help a little, shy grin, the kind that doesn't last for long.

He looked a bit amused, if anything, not in the same way he had back when you were in high school, it wasn't so much as the cockiness that seemed to radiate off him, he just seemed genuinely impressed with you, like he figured your insistence on being respectful to your elders was your own little way of standing up for yourself, and he didn't seem to want to fight that.

"As for your question," he continues, ignoring your teasing, "I spoke to your old man earlier, he said you'd be arriving today, but that something came up at his work, and he wouldn't be able to come and pick you up, so I offered myself to fetch ya, seemed rude to let you get a taxi or something after coming home after so long, figured I'd come to give ya a proper Texan welcome."

Oh.

He must have noticed your change in expression, your polite smile faltered to give place to a confused, if not hurt, grimace, his face mimicked yours in an involuntary display of empathy, you see his strong brows knitting together like he's trying to read you and figure out what was wrong, and how to fix it.

"Oh, I..." you hesitate, you're thinking lots of things, all of a sudden, but you've always struggled to put your feelings and thoughts into words, "Sorry, I... I'm just a bit surprised. He didn't tell me anything about being held back."

You feel stupid, hadn't Joel come up to the airport and found you, you'd have been waiting for your father to show up until you realized he wouldn't come. You pick up your phone from your back pocket to check if maybe you missed a text or a phone call, but no, there was nothing, the last thing you heard from your dad was him reacting to your text telling him your flight was taking off, and at what time it was supposed to arrive, with a thumbs up.

Nothing more.

You just sigh, yet again, you had an inkling feeling this vacation wasn't going to go smoothly, but this was just the cherry on top. Joel is quiet, letting you have a moment of peace to process, but he's staring, again, he doesn't even try to hide it, his eyes, a nice shade of brown, not unlike caramel, are softer than the rough exterior he keeps up, he seems sympathetic.

"It must've slipped his mind," Joel says with a shrug of his shoulder, not dismissive, just trying to soften the situation, make you feel less bad about it, not that you really cared at that point, this was just another instance of him not showing up in twenty-something years, "You know how he can be sometimes, hardworking fella, just focused on his job and doesn't think of anything else."

He's not wrong, but you'd still think a simple text wouldn't have hurt to send. You want to be angry, at the very least a bit miffed, but you can't muster that, instead, it's just resignation and frustration that makes you feel heavy and tired, it's hard to be mad, for some reason. You never had much practice.

"Thanks, I appreciate it." you force yourself to say, even if it sounds halfhearted and a little defeated.

"You don't sound very thrilled." he snorts a little, it sounds playful, he's not being rude, just lightheartedly ribbing you.

"Sorry, I just, uhm..." you swallow and bite down a sigh, you know exactly what's going on, he doesn't need to know, "It's fine."

You weren't about to get emotional over being slighted by your own dad in front of Joel, even if you're pretty sure he was fully aware of the dynamic between the two of you.

"Well, I'm here." the man declared, his voice always had this very firm tone of finality, you figure it's probably impossible to argue with Joel, "And I'm gonna get you home all the same, ya can talk to him then. Ready to go? Didn't bring any bags?"

It takes you an embarrassing long second to figure out what he's doing, hands on his hips, looking at and around your figure for any luggage, when he doesn't see it, he quirks a brow.

"Oh, no, I did, it's just..." you start, and you can see very clearly how he takes a long, deep breath, letting his arms go slack on his sides, and you hate when he does that, because he always does it when you let it show that something is wrong, but this time you didn't even get to explain, he must know you quite well at this point, or you just do this a lot, "There was a problem with the luggage transport, it's all been delayed, so I'm waiting on that."

His posture shifts while you speak, Joel crosses his arms in front of his chest, making him look like a solid brick wall, a strong and unyielding presence in front of you, his muscles flex and push against the fabric of the sleeves, and you don't understand why, but your neck starts burning again.

"Shit, you gotta be kiddin' me." his jaw tightens and he closes his eyes, a hand moves up to rub his temple, the wrinkles that formed on his forehead when he grimaced almost seemed to highlight the greying of his hair, he's got a very rugged look to him, but it fits, you can't say it's a bad look, "Well, alright. Have you spoken to anyone 'bout this?"

"Yeah, I filled a form at the desk just a moment ago, they told me to wait." you explain.

"'Kay, but what did they say 'bout compensation? Did they offer you anything? They owe you that, y'know that, right?" Joel goes on, almost talking over you, the man seems to be taking this issue personally, too.

"Yeah, I know that."

His brows shoot up when you don't follow that with anything else, and suddenly, all his indignation seems to turn to you, "You didn't say a thing, did ya?"

You stand there, guilty as charged, pursing your lips in a thin line, because you have nothing to say in your defense, you did mention something about compensation to the guy working at the desk, but he brushed you off with some bullshit about company policy and technicalities, and you just took it like a loser, so you guess that doesn't count.

"Fuckin' Christ, alright." Joel groans, his hand flies from his temple to his forehead, where he rubs the wrinkles in frustration, it makes you feel awful, it's always like this, especially with him, he never really tried to hide that he thinks you don't have a backbone, "I'm gonna go take care o' this. Don't you go anywhere."

"What— no, Joel, wait! " you reach out for his arm, your palm touches hard, solid muscle under the flannel sleeve, and your skin feels like it's being singed even with the protection of the fabric, "Don't make it a big deal, please, they say it must be arriving soon, it's fine—"

"Hey." he interrupts your plea with his own gruff voice, but not unkindly, in fact, you're a little shocked to see how his face is so relaxed, not a trace of anger or annoyance in his features, only calmness, "I got this."

The hand on his sleeve goes slack, but your heart starts beating like crazy once he resumes his march to the airline desk you had pointed to earlier, you trail behind him like a desperate, lost puppy, your nerves firing as you try to figure out a way to avoid a conflict or any amount of confrontation, especially on your behalf, there was no need to make a fuss over you.

It's so easy to feel small next to Joel Miller, he's a whole head, and then some, taller than you, not only is he broad, his gait and demeanor are those of a man who can take whatever the world throws at him and still be standing at the end of the day, it's kind of surprising the attendant didn't burst out laughing when you just stood next to him like an anxious shortstack, while the man comfortably leaned over the counter and spoke in his raspy voice.

He had some things to say about the matter, the two men seem to engage in some back and forth you were barely listening to, Joel would speak in his booming voice and point vaguely at you, his tone was always so resolute and determined, his words were never minced, and he always knew what to say, in a usual day, you'd judge him for being too confrontational, even abrasive, but maybe it was the combination of having him standing up for you without a moment's hesitation and the way his biceps bulged whenever he made an angry gesture or placed his hands on the desk and leaned in, that made that hot bubble of air around you feel even hotter.

"Sir, the last flight just arrived, it's likely that your luggage is on the way, you're free to check—" the man behind the desk says, and you loudly breathe out in relief.

"See, Joel, it's here, let's just grab it and go." you blurt out like your life depends on it, touching his arm again, a physical plea, trying to convince him, you can't tell if it's just your mind playing tricks on you, but the touch actually makes him pause.

"This ain't done." Joel points a finger at the workers, but his body is already turning in your direction, even if his gaze doesn't immediately follow, "But it can wait. Come on, doll, let's see if we can get ya out of this place."

It's embarrassing, it really is, it makes your heart jump to your throat, you feel the burn from earlier crawl all the way to your ears, you want to sink through the ground and disappear. There was no need for this, it was ridiculous and overkill, and it was happening all for your sake.

You don't take another good luck at him until he seats himself behind the wheel of his truck, after finally loading your long awaited suitcase in the back. You're sulking on the passenger's seat, head resting on your palm, elbow on the door, staring out the window, just waiting for him to start the damn thing and drop you off, you're just so, so done with this whole airport saga, it was complete shit, from beginning to end.

While he drives, Joel looks over at you, once, twice, maybe thrice, each time just a beat longer than the last, from your peripheral vision, you catch his jaw tightening up a bit, he seems to be contemplating something, the man knows you're moody, and it isn't like you're hiding your displeased pout, but he also knows that, if he doesn't say anything, you won't either.

"It will get sorted out." he tells you, after a moment of consideration. The man leans back comfortably as a long breath leaves him, not unlike the stress sighs you're always letting out as well, he keeps just one hand low on the wheel, and he's tapping a finger to the rhythm of the music, you have to wonder how much of that he can actually hear.

"It's fine." you say, it's your mantra. It's a half lie, "Those things happen."

"Those things aren't supposed to happen, doll." he makes a point of stressing his words, a low and firm sound coming from deep inside his chest, you see his profile from the side, and you can see him pressing his lips together, the man is probably annoyed at the way you're trying to blow it all off, he doesn't like to see people walk all over you, and he doesn't like that you let them, "There's a reason why there are policies and laws and shit like that, for this exact reason."

The way you just raise your palms in the air in a clear sign of resignation tells him that's a discussion you really don't want to have, you almost expect him to push you further, like he's always done, to probe and poke at you, and lecture you on the importance of standing up for yourself like you are a child, but by then Joel already knows he's preaching to a deaf choir, so he gives it a rest.

"I'm just sayin'..." he trails off, clearing his throat.

Your gaze focus on the scenery passing you by, trees and buildings going by so fast it almost looks like they're flying, the man next to you was always a fast driver, you remember that much from a few other times he took it upon himself to be your chauffeur throughout your life, usually when your father couldn't find the time or patience to do so.

"Thanks, anyway, I mean, for... yeah, thanks." you decide to say, still not looking at him.

You can hear him grin, that's how infuriating it is, "Don't mention it."

You just scoff, a hint of a smile making the corner of your mouth twitch upwards, that was so characteristic of him, so Joel Miller, and so stupid, "Don't act like you did nothing. That was..." you roll your eyes, but you don't notice you're shaking your head, he does, though, and that only serves to amuse him even further, "Something else, man. Thanks for... making that guy shit his pants, I guess."

You snort at your own little joke, he doesn't follow, but doesn't seem displeased, either.

The landscape is so familiar, and his presence is so familiar too, the drive is long and quiet, the kind that gives you space to breathe, but never enough to let your thoughts take a more unpleasant turn.

You try not to think about the way Joel always takes care of you, in his own little way.

"How is dad?" the question falls from your mouth.

Joel turns his head to you with a certain look in his eyes, it's quite meaningful, actually, a whole conversation happens with just the two of you making eye contact, it's silent and intense, you almost feel compelled to avert your eyes and stare at the road in front of you.

He looks like he's holding back a comment.

"Same as usual. Busy, focused." his voice is dry, no emotion to it, it's hard to tell whether he's pleased by this or not, "But we keep in touch."

It's odd that Joel seems to know more about your father's well-being than you do, but he has the decency to not say anything else about the matter, if he didn't already know from his friendship with your dad, your question made it very clear that you two don't talk much, if at all, which made this whole thing even more stupid, because you still went out of your way, postponing and cancelling plans, to accommodate a father that only seemed to get in touch with you to make you feel bad about being a "bad daughter".

"Sarah is excited to see you again," Joel added, trying to change the topic, or let you know that at least one person was actually happy with the prospect of seeing you, "When I told her I was coming to pick you up, she got real hyped about it."

That brings a smile to your face.

Sarah, Joel's daughter, was just a few months older than you, that was something else your dad and Joel had in common, besides being divorced, grumpy men in their fifties, now that you think about it. Growing up, the Millers lived close to your house, close enough for Sarah to become your playmate, you'd drop by with your father to play with her, while the adults did their own thing, and vice versa.

The memory of their house is very vivid, even after not having thought about it for the longest time, you still remember the nice hardwood floors, the narrow staircase, and how on every wall — especially in Sarah's room — there were plenty of pictures of her and her dad, on her soccer practices, after championships, or just pictures they took together for the sake of it, always very happy photos, very lively. Your room never had pictures like that.

Sarah was confident, lively and funny, pretty much everything you weren't, and still aren't, she was always more extroverted than you, carrying your whole friendship almost entirely by herself, you just tagged along, ever the dedicated follower, never the leader, it never bothered her, but it bothered you.

You were never quite able to pinpoint what exactly you felt whenever you looked at the pictures on her walls, or witnessed her and Joel interacting in a lighthearted, playful manner, or even just watched her be, but now, as an adult, you can.

It was bitterness.

You were always a very bitter child, the way she could just smile, joke, talk back at Joel, make fun of him, the way he never failed to be warm, receptive, affectionate, a perfect example of a single father raising a lovely kid on his own, the juxtaposition with your home life, which was, well, less than that, was too much sometimes, the unfairness of it all, the stark, blinding contrast that always made you feel inadequate.

Inadequate, bitter, envious .

Eventually you just stopped showing up to hang out, and you two drifted apart quietly, not unlike you and your father.

You discreetly turn your eyes to the man beside you, watching him silently drive, so relaxed, so confident, his posture said it all. Joel rested a hand on top of the wheel, and his other hand on the seat beside him, not even realizing he's drumming his fingers along the tune, not even knowing his hand was right next to your leg, if he did, would he move it, or just let it stay?

His hands looked very large and firm, his fingers were thick and strong, the back of his hand had some prominent veins that moved with every subtle motion of his arm, and you found yourself wondering about the rest of his body. You're no longer a little girl, but still, there are certain things that are better left unthought about.

"How are things goin' for ya, by the way?" he asks, voice suddenly softer, "In college, and all."

"It's fine."

There he goes again, that same long, deep breath he took at the airport, that same long, deep breath he took every time he clocked you shrugging things off, trying to put no importance into them, the look he gives you along with is loud as words, he knows you too well for you to pull that card on him.

"Don't bullshit me." he deadpans.

You're about to fire back a comment about how it's not a bullshitty thing, college really was fine, you were doing well, passing all your classes, and the courses themselves were fine, nothing to complain about, not even your colleagues or professors, you have nothing bad to say about them, or at least, that's what you like to believe, the same way you like to believe you're doing great on your own, and you like to pretend there's nothing you need or want for.

"I'm not!" you protest, he doesn't buy it, you can tell by his doubtful smirk, "I'm really not, okay? Everything is going well, my classes are good, and so are my grades, the city is pretty nice, and... and... I guess, people are fine too?"

"So what's wrong, then?"

It takes a moment for you to reply.

"I don't really want to be a lawyer, okay?" your voice is low, even shy, you can feel your face getting warmer, it's such a relief to finally tell someone this, and, if not a relief, it feels good to not have it stuck in the back of your head all the time, "I never really did. I'm just... kind of going along with it, dad wants it, and at the end of the day, I don't really mind it."

Joel considers your words carefully.

"You do know," he starts, "That to be a lawyer you'll actually have to stand up to people, for once?"

There it was, the Joel Miller you knew and didn't really like, always prodding, always trying to provoke you, always trying to rile you up, always trying to force you out of your comfort zone, to get a reaction, or at least get you to feel something.

"Oh, fuck off."

You're the one to roll your eyes, you're the one to let out an exaggerated groan, because, sure, that's how things would go with him, every time you decided to let him in and let him have a little look into your world, the world inside your head, the real, raw feelings that lay beneath the surface, and you should know that better than anyone, it's just in his nature, it's not even mean spirited, he's just an asshole.

"Nah, I'm being completely fuckin' serious right now," he says, a hint of a chuckle on his voice, but he really wasn't laughing, and, much like a father who knows exactly what he's talking about, he explains himself, "You'd be swallowed whole in a courtroom, doll, and you know that too."

He has a point, unfortunately.

"I guess. That's the kind of person I am, I suppose."

Joel shakes his head.

"Don't be stupid."

You raise a hand to him, to tell him not to patronize you.

He seems like he wants to keep going, to keep yapping about how your spine has the consistency of wet spaghetti, about how you should grow a pair already and stop acting so fucking scared all the time, that you're always hiding, you're always keeping your mouth shut, that it's not the way, but he bites his tongue and decides against it, opting for a less aggravating follow up, "What would ya like to do, then? If not law."

"I don't know. I like to paint. But I know I'm not good enough."

"Says who? Yourself?" he sounds sarcastic, and that gets you even more flustered and frustrated.

"Yes, I do, because it's true," you explain, you've told this to many other people, so many times, and none of them understood, Joel isn't going to be an exception, "And it doesn't pay really well as a career, like, at all."

"Well, now you just sound like your father."

Your cheeks flush, you can feel your entire face burning now, he has no idea how much of a dickhead he's being. You're starting to regret having told him anything about it.

"Fuck off."

You say it again, in a quiet, unintimidating way. He laughs.

"If you talked to people like you're talkin' to me right now, you'd be an okay lawyer, you know that, right?" his smile is cocky, it's so stupid, but so characteristic of him, to get under your skin like this, he was the only one that could, "Not good, but okay."

"Whatever, Joel. Shut up."

It's hard not to look at the way his neck and shoulders tense when he laughs, you catch yourself looking more than you should, he has the nerve to let his hand move towards you and he pats the top of your knee, he pats your leg twice, slowly and softly.

You surprise yourself with how your stomach seems to shrink and turn at his touch.

His fingers are firm, and you feel the strength on them, you try to ignore the tingly feeling that runs up and down your leg, like some weird, unexplainable electrical charge, and how it seems to only spread from his hand. You pretend the contact isn't affecting you, it's an easy thing to do.

He lets his hand linger there, resting on your knee for a while, and you don't fucking move a muscle, and, for once, it's a deliberate choice, you're not letting him keep his hand there, you want him to keep it there, too afraid that if you move, say something, or even breathe weird, he might just take it away from you, and you'd never forgive yourself for that.

But he interprets your stillness, and your silence — and the fact you stopped breathing for a hot second, as discomfort, and Joel promptly moves his hand from your leg, placing it back on the steering wheel, like he should, he knew you enough to know you wouldn't speak up on your discomfort, but didn't know you well enough now to know why exactly you were letting him touch you like that in the first place, but the answer is very simple:

You liked it .

And it disappoints you that he withdrew it, even though that was probably for the best.

"If you ask me," the man cleared his throat, taking it upon himself to clear the air, you couldn't say he wasn't considerate when he wanted to, "Which I know ya didn't, but that ain't gonna stop me, ya should talk to your dad about this."

You give a halfhearted laugh, not really looking at him.

"What's so funny?" Joel asks.

"It won't do anyone no good, Joel," you declare, your resigned, dejected tone seems to upset him, or maybe it's the way you sound so comfortable with that tone that upsets him, "I'm almost in my senior year, anyway, a lot of money was invested in this, and besides, he wouldn't get it."

You have nothing more to say about the topic.

Joel seems like he has plenty to say, though, like he always did, "I don't think so. In my own experience, ain't a man in this world that loves a girl more than her own father, doll."

It was meant to sound like some profound advice, like Joel always did, but to you, it felt like a blow straight to your stomach.

His experience was nothing like yours, he was nothing like your dad, far from it.

But that was a good thing.

Joel parks in front of your childhood home not much later, it's been at most two, maybe three years since you were here the last time, the sight of that house shouldn't be making you feel so uncomfortable and anxious, but it did.

He gets off the car first, while you stay stuck in your uncomfortable stupor, you only come back to reality when Joel opens your door for you, a nice, chivalrous smile — as chivalrous Joel Miller can be — on his lips, making way for you.

"Welcome home, doll."

It's so hard not to blush when he says stuff like this.

Joel carries your bags inside, even though you tell him that you can take care of them yourself. He tells you not to worry. You follow him quietly, the only sounds filling the hallway are his heavy footsteps, the clanking of keys against the wooden door, and the loud tick-tocking of the old grandfather clock, you used to be kind of scared of that clock as a little girl, it made such an intimidating, imposing noise.

The house was empty, that's what you first assumed, at least, judging by how dark and neat everything was, smelling strongly of furniture polish, not a thing out of place, it felt like it was just you and Joel, in your childhood home, you tried not to let your mind wander to what would happen if it were really just you and him.

He carried your bags so easily, he must be so strong. You know he works in construction, that's why his hands look so rough, and probably feel rough, too, you didn't get to feel it on your leg thanks to the fabric of your jeans, but you're sure of it, you can almost imagine the coarseness on your skin, the warmth, he could pick you up so easily if he wanted to—

Heavy, hurried footsteps making their way down from the second floor startle you out of your thoughts, you know those steps far too well, you grew up trying to listen for them whenever the house went too silent, or when you were laying in your bed, staring at the plaster-white ceiling of your room, trying to gauge if it was safe to get out yet, or if he was in a bad mood and you should wait.

Those are your father's footsteps.

He comes down the steps in a frenzy, and his feet almost don't respond to his brain's command to stop when he finally spots you and Joel, he seemed distracted by something on his phone.

"Oh, shit— I didn't hear you enter." he says with a slightly awkward laugh, but still unabashed, it's not directed to you, however, his attention is on his friend, "Can you believe they're not going to pay me for the overtime I had to do at the office? That's ridiculous, isn't it?"

He wasn't paying attention to you, and, for a reason you don't understand, you can't help but feel relieved and happy, not like he'd actually have any energy to spare for his daughter.

Joel shook his head, a sort of smirk on his face, the way they're standing makes them look like the best of friends, and yet, something about how Joel stuffs his hands in his pockets and shifts his body slightly to your direction tells you he's unimpressed, "Hey, now." he points at you with his head, his command is clear, and you didn't think you— or your dad — would live long enough to see someone bossing him, "I brought your princess, didn't I?"

Your dad only now notices you, his face lights up, though not really in a heartwarming way, and not in a manner that you could find even remotely appealing or warm.

It was a look and reaction of a man who just remembered he forgot to pick up his child, which, in a way, he kind of did.

"There's my baby girl," he walks up to you and engulfs you in a bear hug, it's very sudden and awkward, he's squeezing you a little too tight, you never really fit in his hugs, but you hug him back nonetheless, "How was the trip?"

"It was fine." you say.

It rolls off your tongue so easily, sounds almost so beautifully rehearsed, automatic, like an answering machine, because it really is.

Joel gives you a weird look, you're not looking at him, but you can feel it burning on your nape, like he can't seem to figure out why the fuck you'd say that, when it would take at most thirty seconds to tell your father, with enough detail, what a mess it was. Your dad was a lawyer, if someone would know how to deal with an incompetent airline who almost lost your luggage, made you wait for a long time, inconvenienced you, and wouldn't budge about compensation, that someone was your dad, why wouldn't you tell him about it? Why would you opt for the almost political, statesmanlike "fine", when it's so clear by how you said it that it wasn't, in fact, "fine"?

Your dad chuckles, letting go of you, his arms move away from your shoulders and back, "I'm glad to hear that."

He says, you smile, Joel coughs.

Then it's complete silence for a second or two. No one really knows what to say, and you almost think it's your fault for answering noncommittally, but your father speaks up, before Joel does.

"It's so good to have you back, baby girl, this house has been so empty." your father says, a weird, forced chuckle at the end, Joel is starting to see where you got your awkwardness from, "I just got home from the law firm, but it was just to grab some papers, I should be heading back, but, uhm, let's have dinner later, yeah?" he was making a move for the front door, the one you closed behind you not even a few minutes ago, his eyes going back to his phone, "Joel, you and Sarah should join us, I'm sure she—"

"Now, hang on a minute," Joel cuts in, he's quick, that man never misses a beat, "You gotta go back right now? What, can't ya stay just a few more minutes? Catch up with your girl, and whatnot?"

It was very obvious — to you — what he's trying to do, Joel Miller is tactful enough to not cut a leg off just because it's bruised, but he's still a man who likes to brute force some things, and right now, he is trying to brute force you an opportunity, because Joel Miller seems to enjoy taking things upon himself that he had no business interfering in.

Your father stops in his tracks, hand frozen on the doorknob, mid-turn, he looks confused, if anything, speechless, like he couldn't think of a single possible thing to say right now, looking between his friend and you, uninterested, unfazed.

"How's... How's college?" he eventually asks, it sounds impersonal, but Joel sighs like he just won a jackpot.

He did it, he gave you a very clear opportunity, and Joel was right there beside you to support you, you could say — even if briefly, superficially — what you were thinking, what you were feeling, just to get a word out, and then maybe talk through it over dinner, with some good father-daughter quality time, a desperately needed heart-to-heart, that's what he hoped for, that was his intention behind doing that, it had to be.

"It's fine." you say, a short answer, nothing too detailed, and a complete lie.

A look of exasperation and confusion crosses Joel's eyes.

Your father, though, smiles, that same diplomatic, polite smile you always give people, and he nods, "I'm glad to hear, dear."

You three stand still where you are, you because it's routine, your father because he's confused and awkward, and Joel because he's too fucking astonished to move a fucking muscle.

"Well, we can talk more about it when I get back." your dad declared, the door lock clicked and he was about to leave, "Dinner tonight, guys."

Your dad is out the door not long after that, it closes with a slam behind him, leaving you and Joel in a cold, stale-smelling home.

For a long time, nothing is said between the two of you.

"Alright." you mutter, almost as if to yourself, taking your bag in your hand, the wheels clattering against the floor, and Joel moves behind you, following you upstairs to your room.

"Are you— You can't be serious right now," he says, trying to mask his complete bewilderment, and doing a shit job at it, " 'It's fine' ?!"

He tries to say it like you would say, a high, mocking, shaky voice, his arms open in a defeated, almost hopeless, manner.

"Joel, not now," you tell him, walking down the long hallway, and not looking back at him, "I'll be sleeping."

"What— no."

You try closing the door to your room, but it slams loudly on Joel's open palm with a lot of force, you're pretty sure you didn't close it that hard, that was his doing, you still can't help, though, to feel more worried about your door than about his hand. He pushed it wide open again, towering on your door frame, but didn't cross the threshold, you felt weirdly trapped, your bag and your body feel heavy, you set the luggage down.

Joel's expression is unlike any other you've ever seen, and the look in his eyes is so intense, full of indignation, your knees wobble a bit under his scrutiny, you hate yourself for that, you don't want him to notice that, he shouldn't be seeing you so affected.

"Y'know, I used to think you were just a very weird kid," he starts, Joel sounds legitimately, personally offended, his outrage is palpable, it's like he can't barely keep it in, but it's trying to so very hard, "Just— painfully shy, didn't know how to talk to no one, didn't really talk at all, went along with everything, and everything was fine, 'cause that's what you always said, all the fuckin' time, and I really thought it was, for the longest time."

"Joel—"

"No." his tone leaves no room for discussion, his expression hard, but when you immediately shut up, it almost seems to upset him more, "I really thought you'd grow out of the pushover phase, I even thought I could help it by urging you a little—"

"I'm not a pushover!" you frown, trying to sound strong and firm, but it was clear the words had no bite to them.

"Oh, bull-fucking-shit, doll, you're the biggest pushover I've ever met," he scoffs at you, still leaning against the frame of your bedroom door, "As a kid, you'd go along with whatever Sarah wanted to do, as a teen, I had to witness you going out with the most stupid looking boys I've ever had the displeasure of setting my eyes on, now you're a grown-ass pushover!"

"Why are you mad at me?" you ask, you're so fucking confused, you feel attacked, really, literally cornered by the man. On any other day, you'd be bawling your eyes out, but Jesus fucking Christ, you were so done with today, you have been bottling up so much shit you could feel your bile taint your mouth with its bitter taste, you were furious.

"I'm not mad at you, doll, I'm mad for you."

After he says that, there's a pause, he didn't mean to get into a yelling match with you, and he looked disheartened. Joel rubbed one of his big palms over his face, like he's suddenly feeling so much more tired than before.

He was such a caring man, and it makes your chest feel warm, even though his concern for you wasn't your idea of a nice conversation.

"I'm mad for you, because this sucks, girl," he says, sounding tired, he takes a deep breath, and then his voice gets more serious, lower, calmer, and you know he's getting his emotions in check, "Your dad is a good friend, though I'm starting to question how good of a father he is, if even he pushes you 'round like this, but c'mon, doll, you ain't a little girl anymore."

"Oh, shut up." you scoff, this time your tone has more venom behind it, your voice gets higher, but still doesn't come out as a scream, and your body is shaking from rage, "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, don't I?" he scoffs back, but on his lips a smirk appears, fuck, he's doing it again, he's playing with you, just like he always did to urge you, to get on your nerves, to see how far he could push you until you blow up, but the only reason you never blew up was because no one would be there to pick up the pieces.

"Let us see if I don't, then," Joel continues, just his head trespasses the threshold of your room, like the rest of his body is being held back by some invisible force, he wants to provoke you, but at the same time seems to have no intention of violating your space, it was a weird mix of things, you never understood him, "You're a fine, grown woman, studying something ya don't wanna study, going places ya don't wanna go, talking to people ya don't wanna talk to, hell, doll, what else is being shoved down your throat, and you just take it without a peep? Do the guys you go out with also trample all over you?"

"Just shut up." you repeat yourself, and he smirks wider, because it's working, he can see it in how tensed your posture became, he could feel it, and the worst part is that it was true, every word of it.

"What is it that you want, huh? I ain't ever heard that combination of words come out o' your mouth, ‘I want’ , even as a kid, I have no fuckin' idea of what you really want, of what you'd ask of someone, and it's starting to look like you don't either."

"Oh, my God— I want you to shut the fuck up, Joel, and close the goddamn door! How 'bout that?!" you explode, yelling, it wasn't even a particularly high or loud voice, but your outburst was unexpected, you couldn't hold back, your anger had nowhere else to go but forward, you didn't mean to yell, but you did.

It came out of your chest with so much force you could feel your face going red from embarrassment.

He blinked.

Once, twice.

You'd have thought you broke him, the look of surprise in his face, and the silence that fell upon the two of you was unnerving, but at least you made him stop talking, at least the constant, buzzing noise in the back of your mind is no longer there, it's blissfully quiet.

"Very well." he nods decidedly, and closes the door.

Joel closes the door behind him, finally stepping into your room, the heavy lock clicks, the air feels thicker, like he's somehow managed to take the whole thing up a notch, and, to be fair, he fucking did.

"That's a good start." it sounds like praise, because it is praise, a low, rumbling sound that reverberates inside your stomach and shoots directly down between your legs.

It's the kind of voice that has no business existing outside of a bedroom, you think, his southern drawl dripping on each of the words like hot, sticky honey, and you could just fucking cry from how arousing it actually was.

He walks in further in slow, careful steps, like you're some kind of wild animal, Joel's body moves towards you, eyes fixed, never breaking the staring contest you two started.

Joel Miller's presence was already overwhelming on itself, his physical height, his build, the way he looked like he could easily snap you in half, but you've seen this man care for his daughter more times than you can remember, you've seen him go out of his way for people who couldn't stand him, his family, and most importantly, you, the kid he babysat whenever your dad just had to stay late somewhere.

He wasn't scary, quite the opposite, he was magnetic, upsettingly so.

"So, doll," Joel continues, "How's it going to be?"

His eyes are intense, his presence is so, so big, you're feeling smaller by the minute, and yet he still didn't even get that close, still didn't try to touch you, he was waiting for an answer.

"What?"

"'Cause I ain't goin' to ask again, I don't like to repeat myself," he said, the tone was softer than what the words sounded like, almost reassuring, it was so different to what you're used to, his face gets closer, you could see his beard better now, and his eyes were unbearably dark, "I ain't doin' a damn thing, unless you tell me what ya want."

What a low blow, but that's how Joel Miller was, the man never played fair.

"I can't." you tell him, voice soft and weak, but there was an undertone of rage to it, the fact that you knew exactly what you wanted to say and how, and he knew that, too, it was maddening.

He has the gall to roll his eyes and click his tongue at you, like he's annoyed at having to repeat himself for a third time, you can't believe it, and his hands come to rest on his hips, his body open, so you can clearly see, read him like a fucking open book.

"I ain't going nowhere, I ain't leaving this room, unless you say something," Joel starts again, a very deep frown between his brows, you'd even dare say that he's frustrated, and then it comes again, his voice, so low, it was nothing more than a rumble, and yet the hairs of your arm and neck are raised, you shudder, "Now, how is it gonna be, sweetheart? I'm all ears."

It was a clear invitation, he wasn't asking you again, the question had an ultimatum, and it wasn't hard to tell that this is Joel's idea of giving you the push you need to break free.

A breath you didn't realize you were holding came out shakily, a lot of pent-up emotions coming up to the surface, but Joel waited, you were the one in charge, you were the one setting the pace here.

And if there was something you knew about him, it was just how stubborn he could be, growing up with that fucking asshole pushing your damn buttons all the time taught you that much, but the intent behind his attitude was never really clear— until now. He was an asshole, but he was an asshole of his word, once you took control of the wheel, there would be no going back, but you do have a choice — which was his point all along —, you can either tell him to leave, or tell him what you really want, but you have to say it like you mean it.

"I don't want you to leave." you say, your voice is low, but that's just because you don't trust what kinds of sound could escape from your mouth if you tried to talk louder.

"Okay." Joel nods at you, his smirk is a full smile now, a proud grin on his lips, but that wasn't good enough for him, not the answer he wanted to hear, and he tells you so, "You're doing good, doll, but let's be more positive, aight? I wanna hear you say what you want ."

Fuck, you're trembling, he's close, so close to you, your sense of smell is so heightened, you think, because the scent of his cologne is the only thing you can smell in that small room of yours, the deep breath you take is not even voluntary, your body is reacting on its on, the tingling, fluttering feeling you felt through your body sets and pools in your lower tummy, it's an all too familiar sensation, the arousal is undeniable.

You got all wet just with some soft words and his smell, and you know he's noticing it, it was clear, not even in a million years would Joel miss how his proximity is affecting you, his gaze is unbearable.

You'd rather not say it, but there's no other choice, your words have to come out crystal clear, otherwise he's just going to stay there and make you wait for him, that was also part of his little game, so, for fuck's sake, you take the bull by the horns, and you take another step.

"I want you to stay." Your chest heaves with your breathing, but your tone is unmistakable, he wanted to hear your voice, so there you go, saying exactly what's on your mind, your real thoughts, the ones you wouldn't dare saying aloud.

Joel looks impressed.

"Atta girl." there's a new intensity in his gaze, the smugness and pride is still there, but you've seen that kind of look before on other men, that glint of thirst, it's the most dangerous one, "Then I'll stay, darlin'. See? Wasn't it easy?"

" No. " you find it in yourself to huff, your newfound braveness is a surprise even to you, but it's hard to be anxious and self-conscious when he's moving closer to you so decidedly, "Nothing is ever easy with you."

He tilts his head to the side briefly, a small gesture of agreement, his steps are slow, but not as calculated anymore, they're shorter now, his eyes are still locked on yours, but the tension that you felt so keenly in the beginning, that air of challenge was gone, his entire focus was now solely on you.

"Guilty as charged," Joel chuckles, a hand reaching to your cheek, and the moment his thumb makes contact with your skin, you lean into the touch, it feels cold against your burning face, and it's probably the only thing keeping you from melting completely, "But doesn't it feel good, to finally let out the truth?"

His thumb moves along the softness of your cheek, he caresses the apple of it, his eyes darting down to look at your lips, his smile gets even softer, and then he says, "To finally be honest with yourself and say what you want."

His hand slides from your cheek down to the curve of your chin, and then, he cups it with a gentleness that surprised you, but then you remembered, this was no stranger, this was Joel, and the knowledge of knowing this is the same man who has watched you grow up made something hot and sticky build up in the pit of your belly, a desire so powerful that it has your brain go all mushy, your words stuck in the back of your throat, it was a pain to get them out.

" Touch me. "

Joel Miller has no right being that attractive, he shouldn't look this good, he should not have this effect on you, he had no right on having you in such an infuriating and sudden chokehold, he wasn't even trying.

You couldn't find the words to describe exactly what you’re feeling, they were all lost in a muddle of lust, it's an unbearable, mind-numbing kind of horny that had your whole body reacting so quickly to such simple actions, it was a mix of things that were starting to make you feel out of sorts.

It's not just the arousal, nor just the fact that he's here with you, so close to you that you could feel the warmth emanating from his big body, nor even just the fact that, since you're on a roll of being honest and letting loose of your inhibitions, this was your long time crush touching you, hooking his hands below your ass to lift you up as easily as he picked up your luggage from the airport.

The yelp you let out is far from the most graceful noise you ever made, your arms shoot around his neck to steady yourself, but aside from the abrupt rising, you were never at risk of falling, his arms are so solid under your thighs, more solid than the floor that was under your feet just a few seconds ago, you feel. Your core is pressed flush against his abdomen, you can feel his body warmth, and you've never been so glad to be wearing good denim pants, otherwise you would have made a mess on him just by being held.

"No need to be scared." Joel snarks, carrying you somewhere.

"A little word of warning would've been nice, though," you say back, his nose is so close to yours, and it makes your face feel warm, even the tip of his beard tickled the side of your cheek, he smelled so nice, you really are a mess.

"Oh, sorry, princess, next time, I'll do just that, just let me put you where you want first." his drawl is the last drop, his smirk is so self-assured, he knows he's dangling a treat over your head.

Joel sets you down on your room's desk, the man sets his hands firmly on top of your thighs and unceremoniously spreads them wide, making room for his body, and your eyes are just glued to the view, looking down at the show he was putting on of how your bodies seemed to be aligned to fit so perfectly together, your imagination ran wild trying to picture just how obscenely hot it would be to watch yourself get stretched out by his cock from that angle.

You set your own hand on his chest, and you don't know if it's his cologne, or if it's him, but he smells so nice, he has a musky, earthy scent of man that had you dizzy and out of focus.

"Hey, look at me." he commanded you, lifting your chin up with his fingers, "I ain't doin' anything until ya tell me, remember? How's it gonna be, darlin'?"

"Oh, you're unbelievable..." you shake your head, your words come out riding a laugh, he had you just where he wanted, the only thing stopping you was just your clothes, but he still was dead set on making you spell it all out for him.

"C'mon, doll," Joel insists, a smirk pulling the side of his mouth up, his fingers digging deeper into your thighs, you could see the shape of his dick pressing hard against the front of his pants, his other hand moving up, ghosting over your waist and chest, "It's an easy question, ya just gotta say the word, what's the holdup?"

The holdup was your pride, and maybe some remnants of shame you felt, you were never the bold kind, or the kind that openly spoke of her sexual desires and wants, that's the kind of person you never saw yourself as, even as an adult with an active sex life, so when faced with Joel, his hard-set insistence, the challenge in his dark, lust filled eyes and his soft, deep voice presented to you, the request seemed out of character.

Your words are there, but it was so difficult to bring them to light, they're at the tip of your tongue.

"We gotta practice that assertiveness, if you're really going through law school." Joel quips, and he knows exactly what he's doing, it was just the final push of well-meaning annoyance to get you talking, because how could you put up with his teasing and mocking you and not tell him to just shut the fuck up and kiss you already.

"Shut up."

He did shut up.

Joel shut the fuck up, and closed the short distance between your lips and his.

The first brush of lips was a question, barely touching yours, but it was enough to make you let out a pathetic, expectant little sigh. The second one, you met him in the middle, unwilling to let him keep toying with you like that, finding a place for your lips between his.

Joel was kissing you.

You've been waiting for that kiss for years now.

Well, maybe two, max, but that was more than enough for you.

Growing impatient with those sweet pecks, you're the first to part your lips, you brush your tongue over his bottom lip sheepishly, but with an eagerness of a person who has been denied something she wanted for such a long time, he pulls back slightly just to spite you, but Joel is far gone at this point, too. One of his hands shoots up to grab hold of your face with such despair it almost hits you, "Sorry.", he tries to murmur, but it gets lost in your mouths as soon as the apology comes out. Lord, his tongue, though.

Joel tastes like nothing else, a combination of scotch and a very distinct, personal taste that had you salivating for more. Your teeth click, a mess of lips and tongue, his beard scratching you, and it's probably the hottest fucking thing in the whole world to feel. His breath comes out harshly through his nostrils, and he lets out a guttural groan as the hand on your face goes down, exploring your neck and shoulders, keeping you still by your throat, a cheeky thumb pressing down on the hollow that your pulse ran through, just enough to feel it.

He's showing off, that much is clear to you, by the way he's so unabashed about how his tongue is in your mouth and yours is in his, the wet sounds you make echo through the room, the quiet sighs, moans and hums he's drawing out of you, it makes you feel suddenly bashful.

"Oh, don't go shy on me now, doll, c'mon." Joel pulls back, his breath fanning hot on your lips, the thumb at your neck moves down and rubs circles on your collarbones, he's got this smug smirk on his face, you've always wanted to wipe it off.

"Jesus— shut the fuck up, Joel." it comes out so much easier now that you've got a taste of him, it was all too clear to you what you really want.

He smiles, he smiles that smile you know means he's about to be a jackass, and the look on his face was pure sin.

"Keep him out o' this, princess." his low laugh rumbles through his chest, his mouth is so close to yours, he was clearly teasing you, testing your resolve, his grip on your thigh was so hard that it had a delicious sting, it had you all aflame inside and out, the tension between you so palpable, so thick you could cut it with a knife, "Ain't nothing holy 'bout what I wanna do to ya."

The next thing that came out of your mouth was just an unintelligible whimper, the way his lips and beard pressed and rubbed against the soft skin of your throat felt heavenly, it tickled just the slightest, but it wasn't enough to make you pull away. You tipped your head to the side and offered your neck to him, giving him space to do as he pleased, and Joel, like a moth to a flame, moved quickly.

His mouth was so hot, his teeth biting a mark onto the crook of your neck, making you let out a soundless, shuddery breath, a sharp, small gasp followed after a second of realization, that's gonna leave a mark, and you have no idea how to explain that to your father, hiding it just doesn't seem like a reliable option, but then you feel it, Joel's lips curling up in a smile against your flesh, that fucking bastard , he did it on purpose.

With a kiss and a long swipe of his tongue over the bite, he appeases you, the worry and surprise wear off as he licks the salt off your skin, Joel is relentless in his pursuit, he's trying to take everything off of you, your taste, your breath, your moans and sighs, he's set out on devouring you.

"God, ya look so good, darlin'. Look at you." he murmurs into your neck, his voice is strained, the drawl he puts on the pet names so obvious, and so incredibly sexy, it has a direct link to the growing dampness that has taken over the seat of your panties, his eyes move up slowly, the appreciation he's making it very obvious that he sees you as nothing less than a feast.

You could barely take it.

"Fuck." your voice comes out strangled, a newfound boldness fills your mind, the warmth in your body making you brazen. Your hands shot down to the fly of your jeans, "Stop looking at me like that, for fuck's sake—"

The sight of your hands going for your pants had a riveting effect on Joel, he went from teasing and self-satisfied to horny in an instant, and he seemed to have forgotten everything he was doing and that idiotic fucking game he was playing with you, he watched, rapt and eager as you unbuttoned and unzipped a way for him, and he's not very patient, not right now.

Joel doesn't wait for you to try and get the damn thing off your body before he pulls — better yet, yanks you — to him by your nape for another kiss, and presses his other hand on your tummy with clear intent, sliding a tantalizing trail down, until he can stuff his fingers right down your jeans and the seat of your panties.

"Wait—" you gasp, not able to fight off his iron grip on you, but it's not like you want to, "Let me get them off—"

"Ain't no need for that." Joel denies, shaking his head slightly, the hand in the back of your neck keeps you from pulling away from him, the kiss that he plants on your lips is rough, it's bruising in the best of ways, you feel it on your cheeks, but most importantly, you feel his fingertips slide easily past the waistband of your panties, just then he allows you to lean back ever so slightly, probably with the selfish motivation of being able to touch you better — as selfish as that can be.

God , you're a mess, you can feel it as his finger first touches you, sliding down your folds, just how obscenely wet it feels, the shuddering breath you let out when his digit meets your clit is just embarrassing. You have never, ever been so horny in your life.

Joel chuckles, not mockingly, he just thinks your reactions are the most adorable fucking thing, his voice is muffled when he talks into your neck, you can barely feel it as he moves to whisper in your ear, his finger tracing lazy, tight circles over your clit, "You're so fuckin' wet, sweetheart," he groans, your fingers have a vice grip on his arms, "That for me?"

Yes, yes, yes . Fucking yes, that's all because of him, and you got like that even before that motherfucker laid a finger on you, but he didn't need to know that, the last thing Joel Miller needed was that big of an ego boost, or else you were gonna find yourself a real problem to deal with.

"Fuck—" you bite back a sob, but can't hold back how your body jolts as a reaction to his touch, those fucking little circles, the slickness makes his finger glide over your sensitive little nub, he's barely even applying pressure, just taking his time getting acquainted with how you like it, he's mapping your actions and reactions like he hasn’t known you for pretty much forever, his beard and teeth and lips still kissing and biting a hot trail from one side of your neck to the other, you'll be a mess once this is over, and you hope it never ends, "C'mon— Joel— I thought we were getting to the good part?"

He lets out an indignant little snort, the sound he makes as he nips at the hinge of your jaw is something you have no way to describe, he wants a fucking piece of you, he wants it all, the thought sends your heart fluttering, you had no way to know, but this was just the appetizer of the main course.

Joel hums, he hums into the space between your jaw and ear, his finger not leaving the top of your cunt, and it's starting to get really frustrating, you could feel a spark, something that could've become something, if only he put some actual work into it.

"Ya got somewhere to go?" he teases, "So impatient..."

"C'mon, Joel, please ..." your plea clearly has an effect, you can feel the low rumble in his chest, he can't stop himself, even though you could see the glint of something devious in his dark brown eyes, a cheeky finger moving lower, searching, rubbing down your pussy, Joel is taking his sweet, sweet time with it all," Please, I want you insi—"

His thick, rough digit easily pushes past the wet, tight rim of your opening, his fingertip sinks inside, just the barest of it, but it's enough for you to lose it for a second, his touch has a jolt shooting up your whole body, your nails digging into his shoulders, the surprised moan you let out makes your cheeks burn hotter than before, it's so different to be touched by someone else, it feels like he could do whatever he wanted to you, and he'd make you take it.

There's absolutely no way anyone else could touch you like he does.

No man in this world would ever be as good as him, it was that simple, it was a truth you knew well and true.

Joel was a force of nature, you could never understand it, not even if you tried.

Your breath catches in your throat, a sharp gasp follows his finger pressing further in, it's just so fucking good to have something filling you in, filling up that insane emptiness you were feeling just a second before, it slides in so easily, making squelching sounds as your wet cunt opens up around it, taking it all, as much as he can give it to you, sliding in and out, just to test how wet and pliant your cunt is for him.

"Oh, fuck... God, yes, yes , Joel, like that." the praise, the satisfaction that's coming from your words seem to do things to Joel, too. His body moves forward, trying to press closer to yours, his face buries deep into the crook of your neck, the scent of his hair, the scent of his cologne, the sweat he's breaking, his warm breath fanning out and spreading a hot, wet wave on your skin, you hug him for dear fucking life, if the desk under you gives in, you at least know you can hang onto him, your nails latch on the fabric of his red flannel, desperate.

"You're doin' so good, baby," you hear him speak against your throat, he kisses you there, right below your ear, the vibration of his deep voice is something you'll feel in your core, forever, it'll never go away, it'll follow you, it'll stay in your memory and will come back every time you think of him, of the moment you got fingerfucked by him on top of your desk, "So fuckin' good , look at you."

God, how are you going to forget about that? It was going to drive you crazy for days, months, years to come, just thinking about Joel praising you and fingering you at the same time was almost too much. You felt his fingers wrap around a fistful of your hair, his lips on yours again, just as he slides another finger in. Fuck, if he could keep doing that— if you two could keep that up for the rest of your break, Texas would never be so fucking awful anymore, you'd come back again every time, at every opportunity, just for him.

It's just too good, the friction, the growing moans and whines that spill from your mouth are swallowed by him, and they just seem to make him go on, go harder and deeper, a curl of his fingers hits something so right that a full-bodied shudder passes through you on a round trip, a sob wrenched from your throat. He smirks, and keeps hitting the spot over and over, until he has you squirming and bucking your hips up in his direction, grinding, riding his fingers like a desperate girl, so filthy.

"Fuck— please, Joel— god, right there—!" you hiccup, your mouth hangs open as you squeeze your eyes shut, for a moment the only sounds that can be heard are his breathing, the quiet muttered praises he showers you in that you can't quite make out right now, and that wet symphony of your pussy around his thick fingers, your voice seems to clog and get stuck on your throat, your tummy tightens up, like a coil, the pleasure so overwhelming.

One of your hands slams loudly on the wood under you, just holding on to him isn't enough anymore, the firmness of the desk provides you with just enough support to brace for what it felt like imminent impact.

"C'mon, doll," he urges you, he can feel you fluttering and clenching around his fingers, holding on to his knuckles, God, it's one of his favorite feelings now, no pussy ever felt like yours, and he didn't even get to see the damn fucking thing yet, just fingering you under your beat up jeans was more fun and satisfying than most sex he'd had as of recently, "Show me— c'mon, that's it," he speaks lowly, "I want you to cum for me, alright, sweetheart, cum for me."

Your voice breaks free in a mellow shriek, a gasp for air, a loud sigh of relief as it washes over you like a tidal wave.

"fuckJoelyesyesyesYESpleaseitfeelssofuckinggood—"

What comes out of your mouth is just a string of undecipherable, desperate, whiny moans, your whole body jerks forwards, and it almost feels like falling, but he's there right in front of you, strong as ever, more than anyone you've ever met, to hold on to you, kissing soothing patches on the little skin your t-shirt offers him, but he'll take it, he'll take everything he can get, he'll kiss you forever, if he can.

Joel only lets go of you — barely — back on the desk when your whole being relaxes from the sudden tension, you had gone slack in his arms, but that's not new. His hands come back out of the confines of your pants, and the wetness he found inside makes your thighs shiver, a faint silky, translucent trail connects you for a moment, before it's gone as quickly as it came.

God, your legs feel like jelly, you don't think you have it in you to walk, but it can't stop you from trying. What can stop you from trying, however, is the man in front of you.

"Nah, ah, slow down." he reprimands, pulling you back up before the tip of your toes could even touch the floor, though his tone isn't stern, and he has a grin on his face when he simply sticks his fingers, all coated in your arousal, inside your mouth, "Don't go runnin' off on me."

There's no energy left in you, or will, to fight him, he can call you a fucking pushover if he wants to, but you do as he clearly commanded, sucking his digits clean, eating your own release straight from his fingers.

He's pleased, with you, with your blatant display of compliance, of eagerness and how willing you were to be so goddamn dirty in a heartbeat. Joel is pleased with you.

"There's a good girl," Joel mumbles, his dark eyes fixed on yours, he looks like he's not able to take them off you, like if he blinks, he'll miss something really, really good, "Just perfect, darlin’, you’re perfect."

The words sound like a lull, his thumb moves to trace the line of your bottom lip, your eyes flutter close, and the weight of your own exhaustion presses on you. A soft smile curls his lips, it's warm and sincere, you feel like melting in a puddle at the sight, it was hard not to give into it.

"Hey..." he calls out for you, pulling you a bit closer, just so he can brush your nose with his.

You blink, a little lost, you could get so lost in him.

"Fuck, did I knock you out?" he chuckles, lovingly pulling you against him, you rest your chin on his shoulder, and let him do what he wants with your hair, run his clean hand through your locks, he's kissing the shell of your ear again.

"Maybe." Joel can hear the smile on your voice as you say it, you take in a deep breath, almost as if you didn't get enough air throughout all this, "This was... insane."

"Is that a compliment?" his laugh, so clear, and his breath tickling the side of your neck has a warmth spread on your chest.

"Absolutely." you nod, your arms come to lock around his frame, almost like a hug. It's funny, that's probably the first time you ever hugged him, "Don't get too used to it, if you don't start changing up your attitude a bit."

His response is an annoyed grunt meant only halfheartedly, you almost think it's a threat of a laugh, actually, "I'll take what I can get, then."

Joel pushes you away a little, just so he can get a good look at you, his eyes roam your current less than regal state with an almost worried glint to them, trying to gauge if you're okay, or if there was something else you needed. He's always been very attentive to details, after all, his eyes linger a bit on your hair, a little longer than what you think it should.

"So," he starts, not knowing if he should bring this up, but, well, the thought had already crossed his mind, so he just let the question come out, "Was it worth it? Using your words?"

"It... was. I liked it a lot, honestly, you— you did great, I wasn't expecting... you know."

"Uh, yes, I was not expecting it either."

A soft laugh leaves your mouth, a smile plays on your lips.

"Oh, so it wasn't a plan of yours all along? Some machination of yours?" your tease earns you a very dragged out eye roll, it takes another laugh out of you.

"What do ya think I am? Some kind of mastermind?" he scoffs, shaking his head, and looking a little bit hurt, like you'd offended him, "You know, not everythin' that I say has some kinda double meanin'. Not everyone's like that."

"No, no, I get it," you assure, patting him in the shoulder, "Not everything you say is some secret agenda."

Joel's frown and slightly pinched expression dissolves with that, a tiny sigh leaving his lips, and he takes a few steps backwards, to give you space enough to put yourself, "Think ya can fix yourself up? Take a nice shower, put on some clothes that don't smell like fuckin' Boston?"

You cock your head to the side, and look down at yourself, then at him, "What about you, though?"

"Me?" Joel seems legitimately confused for a second, until he follows your gaze down, his hard on is still there, hard as ever, straining the denim of his pants. He looks back at you, a brow raised, arms crossed, you know that posture, some stupid fucking quip is about to come out of his mouth, "Think you can take it?"

The idea has a shiver running through you, you felt the dull ache on your inner walls, even as your breathing steadied.

"I don't think you can, not right now." he says before you can get a word in, and he grins at you, it's different that his other grins he'd always give you before, but it has the same fondness, "I'll be fine, I'm a grown man, I can handle it."

He could say that all he wanted, but you still see the discomfort, the little fidgety moves he does to find a good way to position his junk.

You could do it, though. If it came to that.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure you need a fucking shower." he claps back instantly, not giving into your offer, "I made a mess all over you."

"So crude, Jesus..." you scoff, but your feet dangle under you, completely carefree, the edge of the desk is digging on to your flesh, you think it'll bruise a bit, you can feel it in your ass, it was worth it, "You kiss your daughter with that mouth?"

"Sure, all the time." Joel grins, and takes the liberty of starting to tuck in his flannel back into the hem of his jeans, "And do even worse shit to you."

"Wow, real fucking classy." your voice is laced with sarcasm, though it lacks bite, your legs sway left to right as you watch him put himself back in order. It's such a mundane task, really, and you feel a little dumb for not realizing how you pulled and tugged at him, though he doesn't seem to mind.

Silence falls over you both as he finishes putting himself back in order, it's a comfortable kind of silence, for once, but Joel is still the first one to break it.

"If ya need me to, I'll stay a bit longer until after you shower, help you put your things in place..." he's interrupted by a buzz, Joel reaches a hand to his front pocket for his phone, an iPhone half a dozen generations old, checks the screen, and stuffs it back in, unbothered, "That kind of thing."

Your brows shoot up in curiosity, he didn't even pay whatever it was on his phone half his mind, his attention never faltered from you, his offer still hangs in the air, you want him to stay, but—

"Don't you have... things to do?" you ask, genuinely curious, "I mean, someone rang you up."

"It's just Sarah textin' me, askin' if I picked you up from the airport already, because I seem to be takin’ a long time to come back." Joel explains it to you, his gaze sweeps your desk and the floor, where the little chaos your activities had brought to it was. The laptop's screen has gone dark, so it probably died, but it's the only thing he could see out of order, "Should I tell her?"

He smiles at how you laughed, the affection in his gaze makes you feel warm inside.

"Don't you dare," you reply, jumping from the desk, your knees a little wobbly, and you fall right into his arms. Joel doesn't mind holding you, keeping you close to him, you feel like the luckiest woman in the whole state, maybe in the world, "But you should go back to her, y'know? She's your daughter."

"Yeah, I didn't forget that." he seems to not have forgotten how to be sarcastic, either, "But I know she's fine, you sure you don't want me to stay."

"It's fine." you say with a shake of your head.

Joel, like you were watching an old scene from an old movie, takes that characteristic deep breath of his, the trigger seems to be your tagline, it riles him up so much, apparently. You think it's funny.

"Fine— girl, didn't we have a whole conversation about this? I had to finger more words into your vocabulary, do I have to fuck this one out of you?" his exasperation, like his smile, is soft and tender, the scowl on his face, though, it's almost intimidating, if it wasn't because you already had him all figured out.

"You can try." your words have a double meaning, a playful note, but you meant every word. You'd let him have your body if he so much as asked for it, Joel already knows that, however.

"I mean it, it's alright."

"Do you?" he presses you further, he wants to make sure you're not just saying that for the sake of it, brushing his offer off just because it could apparently inconvenience him, you forgot, for a moment, how that man was stubborn as a fucking mule.

"I do." your tone is decided, "Besides, you two will come for dinner with my dad and I, right? He invited you."

"Yeah, he did." Joel muses, a bit lost on his thoughts, "Think ya can keep your trap shut around him for dinner about this?"

"Think you can look him in the eye during dinner after this?" is your rebuttal, Joel looks a little embarrassed, a little bashful smile pulls on his mouth, his gaze flutters down, looking for something that's not on the floor, on the walls, anything to keep himself from meeting your eyes.

"Guess I'll figure it out." his hand finds your cheek, caresses the curve of your face, he sighs, a sound of longing. Joel pulls away from you, the distance already making his body ache, it's not lost on you, you kinda feel the same way.

But it's fine, it really is. You'll see him and Sarah later today, still, this is not over, whatever this is.

The man opens the door to your room, opening it so he can leave, "I'll see you later, then, doll." he says, but then he shoots you a glance of mock sternness to you, over his shoulder, "I'll still fuck the 'fine' outta you, ya hear?"

You laugh, shaking your head.

"Alright, old man."

And before he closes the door, you catch one last glance of him, for now.

You hope he does.

[onlyseokmins]

[14:46] • l.s.m.

Pairing: lee seokmin x afab!reader

Genres: smut (minors dni!), established relationship kind of ig hehehe

Warnings: possessiveness, jealousy, mean!seok but he's whipped kind of, slapping, WAP LMFAO, choking again but fr, a tiny bit of degradation, bulge kink, mentions of oral (male receiving), slight overstimulation, mentions of voyeurism but not really, he doesn't cum inside but reader wants him to fjskdjf, cum eating lort, kinda soft at the end... as usual just hmu if I missed smth

WC: tumblr mobile bby it's kinda short again?? Maybe?

A/N: another unplanned thing but a continuation of this because mean seok lives rent-free in all our brains esp mine on god 😭 i think he'd be mean solely if his buttons were pressed enough anyways i love procrastinating on the wips I'm creating. God don't come for me AT ALL YO I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING 😭 ACTUALLY THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FAULT IT'S YOURS!!!

Seokmin's even crueler once he bottoms out.

Soft little kisses dotting your neck turn to harsh sucks and bites with the intent to have you lean the back of your head on his shoulder. Which you do, surrendering your entire body to his brutal assault.

His fingers pinch and pull at your nipples before he slaps your tits lightly to watch them bounce from the impact paired with a sharp thrust as his hips snap away and then back up into your warm cunt. Where it belongs.

He doesn't like being mean. Really.

But fury surges in his veins once more when he recalls the way the bartender tried to flirt with you. Leering like a creep at your curves. The frisky clubgoers letting their hands linger a little too long on your ass for his liking. Squishing unnaturally against the front of your body, casual talking as if it's not an excuse to get a sneaky look down your cleavage.

You're gorgeous, he knows that. Well aware of your allure. He fell for it. Hard.

But it's not like you're alone. His arm had been wrapped around your waist all night, shooting challenging glares in every direction because you are his.

Seokmin growls lowly in your ear and your pussy can't help but flutter helplessly around him.

He smirks. It's his dick your soaking cunt is speared on, his hands running up and down your body, his tongue tangling with yours when you tilt your head and kiss along his jawline until he leans down to meet your lips.

Your wetness that he usually likes to drown in, but instead merely played with earlier, leaks down both of your thighs. Every shallow thrust causes more to drip from your hole with a filthy squelch.

Absolutely messy.

He loves it.

"Feel good, baby? No one can fuck you like I do, right?"

"Mhm, yeah... so good. So full. Love it."

"Tell me what you like about me." Your eyelashes flutter as you struggle to focus and comprehend his question. "What made you choose me out of any bastard that would die to have you in his arms? Hm? What made this tight pussy want to swallow up my dick?"

Seokmin's been insecure ever since the first time you met him despite the fact later that night you were sucking him off in the bathroom of the club. Who knows. You'll never fully get it. But he always fucks the brains out of you whenever he's worried you may slip away from his grasp.

You know you'll be sore and have bruises for days. Delicious.

"L-love your smile."

"Yeah?"

"You're so... so kind."

"That so?" A hand returns to wrap around your neck although he doesn't squeeze like earlier. "I'm nice to you baby?"

"Ah, so nice... so sweet," you assure although a lazy smirk is on your lips as your eyes roll to the back of your head in delirium. "So lovely."

He chuckles darkly. "I adore how highly you flatter me but I'm not sure you'll think I'm so kind after this. So tell me, sweetheart. Why do you really like me."

"I — "

Seokmin cuts you off with a real squeeze to your throat, temporarily blocking your airflow. If you weren't feeling lightheaded before, you definitely are now. Floating in that happy little bubble you always find yourself in whenever he lets out his envious side.

When Seokmin snaps, the world pauses to watch him wreck you in awe.

Of course, no one's actually watching. To your knowledge. Although, he's fucking you stupid so who really can tell. But also, why would Seokmin ever divulge such a beautiful sight for anyone else's gaze?

You. Are. His. Alone.

"Or should I say what do you like about me?"

He releases his grip and trails his hand almost lovingly past your breasts and pauses just above your lower abdomen. Peeking over your shoulder, he groans at how he can see himself move within you as he grinds his hips, pelvis rubbing intimately across your ass.

"Huh, baby?" He rasps in your ears and you both moan in tandem when his hand brushes over the bump the tip of his dick causes and you clench impossibly tight. "Gonna answer me, beautiful?"

"L-love your dick in-inside me!"

"Uh-huh."

"No one... No one can fuck you like me, Seokminie. No one h-has a dick so perfect l-like yours is."

"That's right." Your neck is attacked with kisses, nibbles, licks, and bites. "Don't you forget it."

"I would n-never."

"I won't let you. Won't let this pretty pussy forget. Carve my name into this sweet cunt of yours for years to come."

"Mhm, Seokmin..."

"You'd love that wouldn't you."

"Yes!"

"Then cream on my cock, baby. Hm? Make me yours as well?"

His pace is brutal, speeding up as he eggs you on. You whine, reaching your arm around his neck to tug on his the tiny hairs on his nape as you feel the coil burning in your gut snap.

When Seokmin feels you let go, he bends you over doggy style. Hips slamming unforgivingly although his quiet whispers of assurance soothe you through the sensitivity that makes you clamp even harder around him. He can barely squeeze in but he makes it work, opting to slide his aching cock between your plush thighs.

You sob out though when you feel his release spurt out along your thighs. He usually makes sure to cum inside since you're on the pill and you're both safe. Slyly moving your hips, you try to slip his dick back inside to catch the last drops but Seokmin catches on with a click of his tongue.

"You're too sensitive for me, sweetheart." He flops down on his side, pulling you with him. Turning in his arms, you face him with a pout and he wrinkles his brow. "What?"

"I thought you wanted to stake your claim on me?"

His hand shoots down to wipe some of the cum off with a frown. "But I did?"

"You always do it inside."

"Well now everyone can see it clearly."

"Seokmin!"

A hesitant kiss is placed on your nose. "Kidding. Just rest a bit now."

You roll your eyes, grabbing his hand. Keeping eye contact, you lick his fingers clean. His eyebrows are still furrowed, eyes darkening at each kitten swipe of your tongue and light sucking you do as if he's still on edge. But the way the corners of his mouth tilt up fails to hide the lovely smile you're fond of.

Running a hand through his bangs and then cupping his cheek, you smile as well when he leans into your touch.

"I love you, you know? You don't have to worry about anything, I'm yours and you're mine, right?"

Seokmin's eyes flash back open and he suddenly doesn't meet your gaze, shy as if he didn't fuck you crazy enough to see stars. But despite all of that, intimate post-sex moments like these make your heart beat the fastest.

"I know... I love you too."

You press a kiss against his lips, smiling. "But I won't be opposed to you going crazy like this again, maybe I'll still let guys flirt with me if this is how you'll act."

His arms tighten firmly around you as he whines your name in protest. "Don't you dare."

"I won't my sweet boy," you giggle. "I wasn't lying at all, though. Everything is true. You're the only one for me."

His voice is small when he thanks you, burying his head in your neck to hide his embarrassment. It's all so endearing, every side to him. No matter what, you wouldn't change or leave Seokmin ever.

[peach-and-bugs]

I'm so glad someone's taking requests for YJ! But I'd like to ask for adult Misty x reader with dialogue 3 please!

💗Confessional - Misty Quigley (2021) x fem!Reader💗

Fanfiction master list

disclaimer: don't repost my work. I only post on Tumblr and on Ao3. anything else is stolen and should be removed immediately

Summary: Misty doesn't know the difference between a crush and a squish (the want to be close to someone in a friend way) and is quite surprised when she realizes the difference!

Warnings: mention of cannon death and body disposal (Adam) and alcohol consumption

Word Count: 2,385

A/N: Hello Loves! It's Misty's turn! I absolutely love Misty and she's definitely in my top three favorite characters. But honestly, she's kind of hard to write for, so I don't know how much I like this one. Fortunately, I do have more requests for her, so she isn't going away anywhere and I've got time to work more with her. This was another Yellowjackets dialogue request, so feel free to send in anything you'd like with Misty or another one of the girls with one of the prompts! but as always, feel free to leave questions or comments in my comments or ask box, and happy reading 💗

Misty Quigley Tag List:

General Tag List: @summergeezburr

-💗-

Misty entered her house with a rather loud sigh and a crash from the slamming of her backdoor. She practically threw her groceries on the counter, mumbling under her breath as she left them be to get something to drink from her fridge. She said fuck it and cracked open a coke, taking one long swig before setting it back on the counter and returning to the grocery bags. However, she was interrupted once again by a knock at her front door that had Caligula squawking. He must have been frustrated by all the interruptions as well. She grumbled again and maneuvered through her house to the door, opening it with far more vigor than she’d intended to. She was startled to find you at her door at this hour and she seemed to have startled you as well.

“y/n! I wasn’t expecting you,” she forced with a shiny smile. You chuckled, relaxed, and smiled as well. Misty had known you for quite some time now, however, most of that time had been spent over online citizen detective forums and eventually texting and phone calls before you finally met up in a local coffee shop a month or so ago. After that, you’d kept in pretty regular contact. Shed decided recently that she liked you. And considering that Caligila had gotten comfortable with you holding and petting him quite quickly you must be a good pick after all. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to drop in so suddenly but you'd been so quiet lately and I dunno, I got worried,” you grew shy as you gave her your reasoning, absently brushing loose hair behind your ear. “Oh! And I brought cookies,” you added, wrinkling your nose as you smiles. Misty grinned, enjoying the concern, and shrugged.

“It’s alright, I’ve been helping my friends with something is all. Do you want to come in? I was just putting groceries away before prepping dinner,”

“I wouldn’t want to be a bother-”

“Nonsense!” she chirped, reaching out her hand to take yours and tug you inside. She managed to take your purse from your shoulder and hang it on one of the free hooks by her door. “I’ll cook for us and we can catch up. What have the forums been talking about? I haven't had the time to read any of them,” she fibbed as she made her way into the kitchen with you trailing behind. She flicked on the small radio on her kitchen windowsill to whatever random radio station she'd been listening to previously. 

“Oh! Did you hear about that Adam guy on the news? Some people online have been looking into that. It looks like someone could have been behind him going missing,” Misty had to refrain from physically cringing at that comment, seeing as how she’d just come home from the dead man’s apartment and the funeral in which she eliminated the crucial parts of his identification. 

“Pfft, that case? That’s going nowhere. He probably just hopped on a boat and is across the world by now. I bet something will come out about money laundering or something eventually,” she flat-out fibbed as she pulled carrots and celery out of her grocery bags to put them into her fridge while you stood awkwardly holding your plate of cookies in hand.

“Um ok,” you mumbled “Well, is there anything I can do to help you? I wouldn’t want to just stand in the way,” you chuckled nervously. Why you found so nervous Misty couldn’t tell, but there seemed to be a strange feeling in the kitchen's air, one she couldn’t quite put her finger on. But she smiled again and looked down at her grocery bags, holding her hands in the air and wiggling her fingers as she contemplated what she could have you do. 

“Ah! Why don’t you give those to me and start boiling some water while I finish unpacking this, hm,” she suggested as she began digging through one of the paper bags, to pull out a newly bought bag of spaghetti noodles which she offered to you in exchange for the plate in your hands. After a second you initiated the exchange and made your way to the stove as Misty pulled out a pot for you to boil. 

You scooted around each other in the small space as you filled the pot and she continued organizing her groceries. Every few seconds your hand would brush against the small of her back so naturally that she might not have noticed, so when she needed to move past you she’d gently cup your hip, though it was more like her hand hovering over you. Even so, she still thought she could feel the prickling of your skin under her touch. It was endearing, she realized, to have that sort of effect on someone, though that's how friends were supposed to make each other feel. So, you were her friend now. That was nice. 

“How much of this do you want me to make?” you asked her as you opened the bag. 

“Just dump it all in there. I can eat the rest over the week for my lunches at work,” she decided as she pulled the ingredients she wanted to use for her sauce and meatballs. She had leftover sauce from when she’d made it before at a far larger portion size than she had intended to that was still good and she pulled out some of the new ground beef she’d bought along with bread crumbs, eggs, garlic, and an assortment of other spices. 

She began organizing her ingredients before rolling out her meatballs, but before any of that, she got her sauce back on the stove to warm up next to you in a large saucepan. She casually checked on the noodled, which you were salting and they seemed to be coming along quite nicely. She moved back to her meatballs as her sauce was going by you with a lid on, but as she made the last part of the meal she couldn’t notice that strange feeling again. 

She wasn’t sure who it could be coming from, if not from the both of you, but something other than the smell of dinner was in the air. The strangest part was how it was such a comforting feeling to Misty. There was something so natural about having you in her kitchen with her. Maybe it was because she hadn’t seemed to make many friends into her adulthood, besides her high school friends, of course, though they didn’t seem to talk much anymore. Could it just be that you were here and interested in being with her? You had come to check on her when she’d been quiet after all. That had to be it then. 

She tossed the meatballs into the now boiling sauce to cook. She stood next to you awkwardly for a moment before reaching over you for a ladle to scoop some of your pasta water to add to her sauce, which she stirred around. You unexpectedly moved to take the ladle from her, accidentally taking hold of her hand in the process. She noticed the way your eyes widened eyes dilating for a moment or so, which she found quite curious. She tuned in long enough to realize what song was now playing. It was one her mother used to play when she was a child. 

But if you feel like I feel

Please let me know that it's real

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off you

Her eyes scanned over your face. You bit your bottom lip, taking it into your mouth

I love you, baby, and if it's quite alright

I need you, baby, to warm the lonely night

I love you, baby, trust in me when I say:

She let go of the ladle and smiled. 

“I need to go feed Caligula and get the table ready,” she said quickly, taking a step back from you. She turned on her heels and rushed far faster than she had intended out of the kitchen and into her lounge and to her bird’s cage. He squealed quietly and Misty smiled, opening the door to the cage and petting the bird’s head. He cooed, shitting his eyes as he nuzzled into the palm of her hand. 

“Caligula, do you have any idea what’s going on with me?” she murmured as the bird climbed on her hand, up her arm, and onto her shoulder as she went to throw away the uneaten food in his dish and refill it for dinner. He began messing with her hair, preening her as he always did at dinnertime. Misty craned her neck to peek into the kitchen, quietly watching as you walked across the room to find plates and utensils and a strainer for the noodles. 

Misty finished refreshing Caligula’s dinner, coaxing the bird back into his cage to eat and she shut the door behind him. She moved on into the dining room, still keeping an eye on you. As she did, she opened a drawer and found an old candle setting along with a lighter she’d never gotten around to using. She figured out why not and arranged the setting, as well as two table placements on the table, dimming the overhead lighting as you walked in with two full plates. 

You paused at the dining room’s entryway, staring at the candles and the table settings placed one at the head of the table and the other directly diagonal to it on the long end of the table. When you didn’t move Misty took the plaits from you and set them both down before trotting off into the kitchen. 

“Now, I have a pinot noir, but I’ve also got a cabernet sauvignon that is just divine!” she allied from the kitchen. You didn’t reply as she rummaged through her cabinets for two glasses. You hadn’t moved from where you stood just yet and noticed after looking back. “y/n, you alright?” she asked, tilting her head with curiosity. You perked up at the sound of your name and skirted to take your seat at the table. 

“Oh! Um, you made the cabernet sauvignon sound very good,” you answered in a rushed attempt at sounding normal that Misty didn’t quite pick up on. She grabbed what she was told, along with a wine opener, and made her way back to the table. She stood as she opened the bottle with a satisfying pop and poured each a glass, which you tentatively grabbed, and took a few confident sips as Misty took her seat and her fork to dig in. You paused for a moment, messing with your hands in your lap before eating. 

“Misty, I have a confession,” you started, not looking up from your hands. 

“Well, it better not be to a murder because I can’t deal with that right now,” she answered back without the skip of a beat. You looked up, quite puzzled, and scrunched your brow.

“Um, I’m sorry, what?” you asked, nose wrinkling. Misty fully looked up and finished what she was chewing, covering her mouth with her hand as she realized your reaction. 

“Oh! No, I just mean I’ve been a little stressed lately is all, but I'm only joking, I promise!” she could tell she hadn’t recovered well at all as she could practically feel the way you cringed and clenched your teeth, pulling back from her, eyes refusing to meet hers. Had you always been this shy with her? You sighed, pulling her from her thoughts.

“You know what, this was a bad idea. I need to go,” you said rather rushed as she had moments prior. Before she had time to react you'd left your seat and headed back to the front door. Misty heard the jingle of your keys and the click of her front door before she got up, frantically wiping her mouth with her napkin. 

“y/n?” she called, watching you slip out the door before she began to sprint in its direction. By the time she made it to the door, you’d made your way down her front steps and were headed to her car. “y/n!” she yelled fully now, a strained crack in her voice. You stopped in your tracks, fearing the attention she might bring but it gave her enough time to grab onto your hand tight and stop you. Adrenaline had started pumping in a way that felt like fear, but of what she couldn’t pinpoint. 

“y/n, did I do something,” she asked quickly, her eyes frantically searching her face. You seemed startled by the sudden desperation in her grasp and her voice and you bit your lip, your brown scrunching as you frowned but shook your head. 

“No, it’s just stupid,” Misty squeezed your hand and reached up to turn your cheek to look at her. 

“No it’s not, tell me. I promise whatever it is it's not stupid. I’d never find anything you say stupid,” she insisted. You met her eyes finally and sighed with defeat. 

“I was going to ask you on a date,” you said in what could only be described as a whisper. Misty perked up, confused. 

“A date?” she questioned. She felt your cheek burn under her fingertips. 

“Yes! A date! I know it's silly, and I’m acting like a child but,” Misty grinned, vibrating with excitement. 

“I’d love a date with you!” she exclaimed. 

“What?” you were the confused one now.

“I didn’t know you liked me,” Misty mused, practically purring.

“Well, yes I’ve always liked you-” you started. 

“But I mean I didn’t know you liked me,” she reiterated, accentuating what she meant. You grew shy again. 

“Well, I didn’t know either but I got so nervous with the cooking and the candles,” 

“Then this can be our date!” Misty decided. 

“Really?” you chuckled under your breath. She’d gotten you to laugh and that was even more exciting than getting asked on a date. 

“Yes! I’d love to take you back in and on our date,” you chuckled again (she got you to laugh again!) and nodded. Misty eagerly led you back inside and realized just what she must have been feeling before after all. 

[madame-mongoose]

Hi, I'm sorry.

This is short, but I'm not sure the long version is ok for tumblr.

I regret nothing, and if you see any error, no, you don't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You don't exactly know how you got in this situation but still, here you were.

You went through many chambers in the span of a few days and ran around doing whatever they told you to, indulging in their little tests and what not, you weren't entirely sure on why you kept going in the first place; the thought of it just being entertainment for them crossed your mind more than a few times and you were tired.

You found yourself talking with the AIs in the facility quiet often, particularly enjoying a specific one with a very fast talk and some bad humor, but still, it was better than nothing.

At first you thought that he could have been dangerous, lethal, not letting you on on it's real intentions. Later, you came to the realization that maybe he was just a dork.

A dangerous, sometimes funny, dork.

But one nonetheless.

The more you spoke, or rather, he spoke... you mostly listened, his rambling could go on for hours at times; the more you grew fond of him.

It was nice having him around, even for just some snarky comments.

And now here you were, with less clothes than what you originally started with, your face completely flushed and his hands roaming freely on your back, sometimes reaching to your sides and squishing your soft flesh as he nuzzled his spherical head in the gape of your neck, mumbling sweet nothings.

This was supposed to be a chamber just like the many you just went through, a little puzzle, door, and another chamber.

But Wheatley said you deserved a prize for the good job you have done so far; he told you he had a surprise for you.

You were curious, but he didn't tell you what it was, no matter how many times you asked.

And now it was right in front of you- or rather, under you, as you sat on his new humanoid shaped body' lap.

His hands caressed and touched every inch of flesh on your torso, traveling under your shirt and undoing you more and more.

His shape was bulky, smooth, a bit rushed, but still very pleasant and warm.

He had told you you deserved to have something special, a little incentive perhaps, but by the sounds that escaped his speaker and the loud whirring of his fans, you could tell he was enjoined himself just as much.

The claws in his hands dragged on your back, your sides, your thighs, going up and down in slow motions as he pressed what could be considered his face on your chest in a desperate attempt to be as close to you as possible.

You could feel the electricity running on his wires between your fingers as you played with them, twisting and lightly pulling on them. The way the robot squirmed and whimpered, pressing himself against you, impossibly tight let you know you were doing a good job.

His hands found rest on your hips as he squeezed them between his big and strong fingers, pressing you down and pining you in place.

His voice giving you sweet praises was making your stomach twist with delight as you tried to move your hips despite his firm hold on you, looking for something more, desperate for some kind of friction.

You pulled on the wiring behind his head and got a staticly little cry of undeniable pleasure as he jerked your body towards himself.

His hands stayed on your hips, while his thumbs circled your inner thighs and his face pressed on your soft chest.

You didn't know for how much longer you could take it, but there was nothing much you could do.

He loved it.

The way your body reacted, the way you panted and squirmed, trying to get more.

Your soft flesh, your quiet moans, the way your eyes begged for more, more, more... MORE.

You will wait.

You are being so nice to him; so generous.

You deserve a prize, and you will surely have it.

But the night is young and Wheatley doesn't want it to end just yet.

He will show you what he can do with his new body, but you'll have to wait.

You don't know how much longer you can go, but something you know for sure...

You're in for a long night.

WIDUIWHDJSHSJA AAAA????? ?!!?!?!!!? I UHM.

OOOOOH MY GOD ANON. I. I NEED TO GO LIE DOWN boooohhh my go d i think i hauve covidnim running a fever oofough my god jesus christ

[tadssstrange]

ART DUMP!!

(because yes)

My final headcanon of Heart and Mind!

My previous hc of Heart and Mind + Soul

Seam plush

This one is my OC, his name is Władzik! (I know he doesn't look like this, but he is crazy scientist)

My HB OC! (for her I can't find any cool name yet) she is an old lady (half imp-half Baphomet [you know, the type of demon in HB {I don't remember how it was called}) she took over the title of mafia boss from her dead husband

Pomni!!

With Rhaghata nouse for some reason...

Squished Jevil

OC from the Amazing Digital Circus

They too, don't have a name...

Heart again

Mind again

(sadly, Tumblr don't allow me for more pictures soo... I will continue this, I think)

[idyllic-affections]

a letter from aphelion. ♡

a letter to all the people who have made my year in one way or another. there is no particular order to this post, and some of you may find that i don't have much to say, but all of you who are on this post are here because i can recall times i've enjoyed speaking to you or seeing you in my notifs or just existing within the same space as you. i hope you all have only the best year possible next year—it seems like most of us need and deserve a good year, hm? though i regard myself as quite a gentle and sentimental soul, i struggle with putting it into words. it's ironic, considering i am a writer. i mention this because even if the things i say in this post are quite silly and lighthearted, just know that i earnestly mean what i say and each and every one of you has contributed to my year in a memorable way <3 may we all have a good 2024.

       dear @lillonvia,

YOU!!!! YOU!!!!! HELLO. HI. MEETING YOU HAS BEEN SUCH AN HONOR AND SUCH A DELIGHTFUL PART OF MY YEAR!!! i love the little silly conversations we often have—i think it's probably a good thing that we share so many random fandoms. it's as if we lived somewhat similar lives growing up despite growing up in such vastly different environments <3 but anyway, i think the fandoms we share are really helpful in being able to have such fun conversations!! we have many things to talk about!!! despite the vast difference in timezones!!!! please go to sleep at normal hours!!!!!!! /lh

       dear @starryshinyskies,

HI AVERY <3 i was literally always so delighted to see you in my inbox back when you were still ⭐️ anon, and i still feel that kind of joy now! you have so many good and fun thoughts to share with me about things i've written and i love that... i hope moral injury ch. 2 will give you that same kind of brainrot again when it does finally come out!!!! if it doesn't that's okay too HAHA but i always love hearing your thoughts on... literally anything ever!! i have some fics of yours that i've been meaning to reblog btw, so maybe watch out for multiple essays in your notifications in the coming weeks LMAO

       dear @aroacenezha,

MAJI I AM SQUISHING YOU LOVINGLY IN MY HANDS or i can just look at you fondly if you don't want to be squished. i am okay with that too <3 i often think about how we met and i think it's both kind of funny and kind of nice. "baizhu would hate dottore" agreed so real so true that post was so correct in so many ways RAAHHH 🤝 the nice part of the way we met being my baizhu series. despite me having NOT updated it any time recently, has brought a lot of people into my inbox and sometimes into my life and i think it's very cool. i love when people feel seen. and furthermore please always send me your oc thoughts and your blorbo thoughts i love them so much 🙏🙏🙏

       dear @soleillunne,

ALYYY MY LOVE MY BELOVED you are so precious and treasured.... i love what you do, i think your writing is beautiful and has such a poetic quality to it. and i love when you appear in my inbox and notifs!!!! though tumblr is very mean to you and always eats your asks.... you are important to me and so many other people and i hope you always know that. genuinely. you are such a kind and wonderful person and you are always loved.

       dear @heiayen,

YOU. *GRABS YOU* *EVILLY* you. you are so. idk but YOU ARE. can't think of a good word. no words, only vibes. you are vibe-y. /lh you're another moot that has the most top tier responses to things, even non-fanfic posts. you just have Things To Say, and in the best way possible. your thoughts are so fun..... i interact with you rather often—more than some people realize, perhaps—and you are a dearly beloved presence in my life 🫶🫶

       dear @zeldadou,

though we haven't talked too much recently, i still think of you often! i love seeing your art and the way it changes and develops... and i love hearimg your thoughts about things or when you send me fun things you think i would like <33 you are a very kind person in my eyes, whether you realize it or not.

       dear @june-again,

i hope life treats you well, always. you don't deserve anything less. i think of you fondly! your kindness is and was very remarkable and treasured especially when i was first adjusting to tumblr and posting my fics and whatnot..... by the time we met, i was still very new, so i appreciated any kind interactions (i still do of course! it's just a bit different when you're new to a website like this haha)!!

       dear @kaixserzz,

I FUCK WITH YOUR THOUGHTS DUDE YOU SEEM TO COME INTO MY INBOX AT THE MOST RANDOM AND UNEXPECTED OF TIMES AND DROP THE MOST HEARTBREAKING ANGST POSSIBLE??????? HELLO?????????? ARE YOU. DOING OKAY??!???!!!! YOU WAKE UP AND CHOOSE VIOLENCE. ESPECIALLY WITH KAVEH. WTF (me too tbh 😇) /lh please always send me any platonic thoughts you have i will entertain all of them fr 💥💥💥 you have such good thoughts in that brain of yours 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

       dear @archonsbane,

i haven't spoken to you much, so forgive me if this seems or comes off as a sudden or jarring tag, but i do enjoy talking to you. fatui moot <3 you GET IT get it about the harbingers' dynamics. i hope we have more opportunities to speak sometime! (and if that sentiment isn't shared, that is totally fine. i would respect it either way 🫶)

       dear @lesanyanyas,

we only became mutuals recently, but i hope you know that i always thought of you as one of the "blorbo from my notes" kinds of people haha!!! i always saw and recognized you whenever you were in my notifications or my inbox and you always have such delightful and fun things to say <33

       dear @umgatochamadopercyval,

CLARA HIII you are such a remarkable person, you know? you've been nothing but kind and understanding, and you have such fun thoughts and ideas!! i love hearing about them sm. even if my responses are delayed, just know that you are always welcome to ramble in my dms about your ocs or your fic ideas and i will never find it to be annoying or anything. it isn't annoying. it never is.

                                                 sincerely,                                                                           aphelion.

there are people who did not make this list, and to those people, i hope we can become closer in 2024! if you aren't on here, it's truly only because i've hardly spoken to you. so... perhaps that is something we can do next year! i think of all my mutuals very fondly. i don't think of any of you as "less than" just because we haven't spoken mwah mwah <3

[pokemon-dungeon-masters]

Charsheet Sunday!

Mod Nines here, calling all Pokedungeon fans, DMs, players! It's Charsheet Sunday, and you know what that means? ...wait, you don't? Well, Tumblr needs to get in on this then! You know how any player for any TTRPG inevitably ends up with a backlog of characters they'll never get to play? Well, we here at Pokedungeon have decided to institute Charsheet Sunday, an opportunity for everyone to show off their little characters and answer a question to better get to know them! Post your characters and their thoughts on the following question. This Sunday's character question:

Of course, it wouldn't be fair to put all the pressure on everyone else to contribute, so here's a character of our own to serve as an example!

This is Kent the Torchic (she/her). She's a well-oiled chicken, ready to fry anything in the way of her and the end of a dungeon!

Character Sheet and details below the cut - this is already getting lengthy as it is.

Little squished because of Tumblr. But the Dynamic Character sheet is integrated with the Movedex and Abilitydex, automatically filling in the details of your chosen Pokemon, Moves, and Abilities with the click of a button. Convenient, isn't it?

Kent, of course, would take the last donut for herself. Can you blame her, though? She's tearing through dungeons at maximum speed - of course she's going to take any chance to boost up her sugar.

She also took the first chance she got to break the game with Speed Boost and Flame Charge feeding into each other for incredible amounts of damage every turn. Which may or may not have caused us to go back and look through every move and ability again.

[thebroccolination]

Today, I saw a tweet by a Thai Krist fan named June in which she thanked interfans for supporting Krist in spite of the language barrier and all the misinformation that surrounds him. June has been fan of Krist for a long time, and she's even shared a bunch of firsthand accounts in English of her experiences with Krist from early in his career. (They're very cute.)

Dear all inter fans who love Krist, thanks for loving him although you might not be able to clearly understand what he said or fully convey your feelings to him due to the language barrier. Although with this big barrier, you are still with him, don't give up on him, don't believe in any fake rumors and be his strength. Thanks so much 💕💕 –@qu_upqn_np

A minor incident prompted her to tweet this out, but because of the language barrier, I didn't fully follow it. From what I understand (and please don't cite me as a source if you carry this information forward) a fan tweeted a customer complaint to Krist directly about a peeling graphic on a concert T-shirt she bought. Krist replied to her and asked her to write to the official merch account, presumably because neither he nor The General Public can help her with her problem and that kind of thing can make the quality of his merch look shoddy. According to a few Thai fans, some interfans used the auto-translate feature on his tweet, decided that the auto-translated English looked rude, and started attacking him for being rude to his fan. It got to the point where Thai fans and fan translators had to explain that he was, in fact, very polite to her. He used "khab" and "phi" to refer to her, but English doesn't use those parts of speech, so auto-translate omitted them.

This was before my fellow interfan friend messaged me to ask why she was seeing interfans say that Boun's fans were calling him a drunkard (???).

A couple of days ago, Boun happily took a selfie with an interfan after an event where he drank a bit, and now this is somehow something people want to crucify him for because fan benefits and selfie rules etc. etc. etc. (There's context to this but it's frankly such a non-issue I'm astonished we're even talking about it.) One person did call Boun a drunkard, but they're an anti account (I know, even Boun has antis, the world's surprises never cease). The only other references to drinking were interfans saying, "He was just drunk and happy (and that's why he was happy to take the selfie)."

The way nuanced information is often squished into bite-sized pieces is both wild and worrying.

And it must be maddening for Thai fans to share a space with people who click auto-translate on Thai tweets, draw completely off-the-mark conclusions from a rough approximation or completely false mistranslation of what was actually said, and then use that as justification to attack the actors they love in foreign languages. There's a rampant Attack First, Ask Questions Never culture online these days, and we've got to collectively agree to chill before throwing on-fire furniture at each other.

These are both obviously ridiculous incidents, but they both garnered a lot of conversation among Thai fans.

I figured I'd share them here because I think Tumblr sometimes gets secondhand information from Twitter, and I wanted to demonstrate how some of this stuff gets misinterpreted before it even leaves the platform. It's interesting to investigate how these things happen, and hopefully it helps prevent similar misunderstandings from happening in the future.

(Also, for what it's worth, I have a concert shirt made by Krist's fan club and it's very comfy and has survived numerous washes completely intact.)

[edith-is-a-cat]

Answer any or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

good word here we go,

I used to have sun freckles i miss them a lot

Tea, coffee, and energy drinks and as sweet as i can get them, i usually use honey bc bees are cool

Toes - Glass Animals https://open.spotify.com/track/754wVXWrtf1X3ZHQOFFsnR?si=_GYqckcFRpysg3N7yFNrjA

I roll in bed like a hot dog on a roller but usually side

Yes. five.

Drawing, writing is hard for me but since when i get a flow. I prefer the defining of art though

Okay so 5-6. 1 heating blanket, 1 super soft and thick blanket, 1 big ass blanket, 1 quilt/comforter/heavy blanket, 1-2 light soft blankets

Glass Animals

7/1

7'9/175 cm

Green???

Sam (the only one i can acc hug soon), Xen (we will get there), Aster, Auburn, Grim, Silver, Malleus, Lilia, Sebek, Idia

Idk?

Pink :3

Fall

Little Idia and Ortho icon on the outer facing sides of my wrists, annoying dog right wear he can peak out of short socks, as many deltarune weapons as possible on my left arm

Angel bites, Bridge, eyebrow, and a second ear piercing

Xen :3

I would say sam is my best friend? i don't get how friends work exactly but we have been friends for one year and three months

Xen's voice :((( and that cake from fresh

I felt uber sick and went home but im great now

Enough

Yes

I don't remember

90s/2000s

carrying a plushie around (imo should be socially acceptable

Howls moving castle, Small steps: the year i got polio, and Tales from the gas station (all volumes)

hungry i really want that cake and mad I NEED MORE BOOK 7!!!!

A while...

Cruise :3

Seeing Vivi randomly and driving to see yall and force yall to watch howl's moving castle

Oregon, or moot trip to japan

CLOSED THAT SHIT STAY CLOSED

Foxgloves

..?? A squish???? googles it,,, oh?? Yes i believe

Yes i like to say two of my names show up in the book Frankenstein because of it

I love them both so much

Emetophobia i believe

you could call it a hobby

Cloudy and yes!!!

GRAVITY FALLS.

nOOO

two, counting the dead ones: 4

xen

too many people

my bed and access to tumblr so o can complian (and maybe get comfort but what ever happens happens)

YES AND MY MOM'S!!!

Xen

"GIGGLEW"

GIMMIE QUESTION

[aroace-confessions]

im fucking tired of people conflating platonic and queerplatonic attraction. like i get for some people they don't know where to draw the line between them but that's also true of any types of attraction

im sick of saying "squish" and having to clarify that i mean platonic and not queerplatonic

im sick of looking up terms ending in "-platonic" and realizing they mean queerplatonic attraction

im sick of scrolling #platonic attraction on tumblr but everything is about qprs.

i hate this so much i just want to see more platonic attraction positivity without making it queerplatonic

Submitted 09/02/24

[sonicasura]

Transformers Prime: Toonsanity

Yes, I'm going back to the Weretoons with Transformers idea well specifically the Prime version. Rescue Bots will have it's respective post so don't you worry! Let's get started. (Incomplete as Tumblr posted early)

Miko lives in Jasper with her Weretoon foster father instead of canon's host family. She is already Jack and Raf's friend but they don't know about her Weretoon nature. A common rule that's not just for the safety of other Weres but people close to them. Every werecreature has a respective hunter and those for Weretoons are extremely dangerous to put it simply.

The two boys would've been left unaware if wasn't for the fateful encounter with the Autobots. (Miko is still a chaos agent and being a Weretoon just amps it up.) It doesn't really take long for everyone to find out either.

Weretoons tend to carry a small bottle of ink on them as it triggers the Toon transformation instantly. An emergency tool to be precise. What better time to use it than on a hostile alien spaceship full of trigger happy robots?

Like any other Toon, Miko has a hammer space with her preferred cartoony weapon being a giant mallet. Jack pretty much felt like he was going insane at this upon seeing his friend flatten a Vehicon into a metal pancake. Raf is taking it a bit better than him. The bots however...

Ratchet: What in the pits is this?!!! *Points at Toon!Miko*

Miko: *eating a carrot she pulled from her hammerspace* What's up, Doc? Never met a Weretoon before? Congrats on being not only the first non-Weretoon aligned doctor but the first 'normal' doctor I done this joke with!

Jack: *notices everyone staring at him* Hey, don't look at me! I didn't know about this until now!

Ratchet obviously grilled Miko for answers as he barely knows how to treat humans! Now he has to worry about an unknown subspecies getting injured or ill. Miko explaining the whole 'Weretoons' thing so nonchalantly didn't help either. (Optimus wrote everything in stride as the unknown reawakens the archivist within.)

Ratchet shuddered knowing others can be infected and rather not find out if Cybertronians are susceptible. (They are Ratty. It's another reason why Miko wears a mouth guard. A simple bite with their actual teeth is all a Weretoon needs to turn someone even if they don't penetrate skin or metal.)

No one purposely tries to test Miko's squash and stretch capabilities whenever she's in toon form. Doesn't stop a cartoony shenanigan from occuring. Or the fact every single bot on the team has fallen for the inherent gag trying to get Miko outta harm's way like in every other cartoon.

Examples:

Bulkhead got whacked in the face by his own lob ball as it preceded to roll off the shelf after Miko.

Optimus somehow slipped on a banana peel and accidentally falls on Bumblebee from trying not to squish the Weretoon.

Ratchet crashes into the ceiling when Jack's knife set is hurtled at Miko with the medic taking said blades to the aft. (Toon law: Anyone struck by a pointy object always launches upwards.)

Miko reveals her beast form during the Scrapheap episode. She gotten pissed when some Scraplets had munch on a metal custom road plate her dad made for her room. Never anger a toon who can turn into a serpentine dragon like mole cause Miko chased the little pests everywhere with a vengeance.

Jack already resigned to the insanity after this little reveal. He's just glad they got a heavy hitter that the Scraplets couldn't munch on. Optimus and Arcee were really confused about this new development but let Miko help warm them up. (She runs hot as a mole dragon plus long enough to coil around someone OP's size.)

Hostage situations with Miko will always go wrong for the kidnapper. She either slips out their grasp like a snake or go beast mode on their ass. Makeshift learns that moles bite especially if they're half dragon.

Knockout and Starscream doesn't have fun with Miko during their respective encounter either(TMI/Rock Bottom.) Her claws can do more than just dig through dirt as she left behind pretty larges gashes on their frames. Starscream and Knockout constantly about still finding sand in their frame.

The ugliest confrontation between Miko with a Decepticon is Predaking. Dragons aren't exactly friendly towards each other as they are territorial as fuck. (Moles are even moreso.) Especially if it involves a claim. Her friends and the Autobots' can be considered Miko's plus considering Predaking is more dragonlike...

She fucking mauls the Predacon with their respective breath attacks leaving freshly made glass everywhere. Ultra Magnus had to hold Miko like an angry extra long ferret so she didn't fly after the retreating Decepticons. Our girl may be strong but not invincible.

Toons can have their own rules turned against them plus Miko can't sustain her toon form for long. She's got an hour to an 1 hr 30 minutes before reverting back. Then there's the threat born from the film 'Who Framed Rodger Rabbit': The Dip.

It can burn a Weretoon in their human form but becomes truly lethal if they are a toon. Dip is their wolfsbane and is the main tool in a Cartoon Hunter's arsenal. Two things Miko wasn't happy to explain to the bots when movie night came around.(Bumblebee apologized btw.)

It's gonna take awhile for the Decepticons to find out. Sadly a certain mechanical based organization knows about Weretoons...and most are hunters. Or that one particular spider bot might add Miko to her list of targets too.

For Miko's father, he'll remain mostly anonymous. This is because I want to keep the main ides separate from any extra doses of insanity should it peak my interest. Like making her foster father Dynamite Anton from Antonball/Antonblast.

What better way to do the 'Meet the Father' bit than this fucker throwing hands with a bunch of moles, called BALLBUSTERS, because their boss Satan stole his booze. (The literal plot for Antonblast.) It would obviously have the fandom wide headcanon of Anton being a demon and his demon form being usually portrayed like this. (Can't resist the sheer irony when you consider the fact Optimus is basically robot jesus in most iterations of the series.)

Things are gonna be chaotic with Ratchet wanting a drink either way it goes.