#(...dammit Mouse - stop thinking of things that hurt...)

[residentdormouse]

Guess I'm drawing again... And I'm pretty sure this is the first in the 'Goddamn it, I need another option...' series.

Also the start of my petition to have more 'Give them a Hug' in game prompts. They all desperately need one. More than one. Lots. Lots of hugs. Emotional Heimlich maneuvers for the full bunch. They need it, your honor.

(Do I wish this would have happened somewhere more scenic? Or anywhere other than Auntie Ethel's hideout? Yes. But, you know, can't ignore when that little '!' hits...)

[cuppimagines]

Trapped in the Sugar Kingdom- Chapter 1: Dr. Ginger

TADA!! It’s not just big porn companies making porn parodies, also weirdos on the internet.

I told folks I wanted sillier ideas for my not safe for work writing, and so outa a haze I decided on a reverse harem-y Candyland parody, with the reader forced into a world where everything is sweet and everyone is very friendly. You’ll also be able to find this on ao3 later tonight, if you would rather read the first chapter there (I am not used to the tagging system over there)

Chapter 2- Andy Mint

Word Count: 5.3k

It was 2 am after work, and you were in charge of closing, again, for the third time this week. It was 10 degrees out, you were tired, and yet you still had to walk to the bus stop, hoping that you’ll make the last bus before having to potentially walk back home…again. Man, you really need a car at this point, but that meant saving up for one, and most of your money went into rent, food, and bills. A loan was out of the question, because eventually you’d have to owe more than you even borrowed. God dammit…

On your walk to the bus stop, you watched the lights around this side of the city slowly turning off. Businesses closing for the night, people heading home after having a night out with friends. Everything was quiet and still, and that made you all the more sleepy despite the freezing cold nipping at your nose and ears. This was the last thing you needed if you had to have that dreaded long walk of shame back home. Amongst the dark and dim dullness, you saw a bright light, a different bright light that wasn’t the flickers of the sidewalk’s lamps. Something new, something bright, and something colorful.

A business was still open. It would’ve barely been noticeable during the day given how small a building it was, but with the entire city asleep, it stuck out to you brighter than ever. Your curiosity, and the hope to get a break from the freezing cold of the outside, injected a small modicum of energy inside you, and you sped up to a brisk jog down to the building.

It was a candy store. But this one seemed like an older store, hardly any of the big bright tourist traps you’ve seen on your occasional vacation. The outside was painted a pleasant candy apple red, the display window filled with candies that were either lesser known or all brands owned by this specific store, things like “Dr. Ginger’s Cookie Men” or “Prince Frosty’s Frosted Drops.” All of the tins looked like they came straight out of the 1920s, so either they were for decoration and empty, or they were real dedicated to the brand. Just above the red and white striped awning, you saw the name of the shop.

“Sugar Kingdom Sweets,” with a simple golden crown on either side of the title. And from the glowing sign in the front, it seemed to be open. Which was odd at a time like this. But you were curious, and it wouldn’t hurt to spend maybe…5 or 10 dollars on a couple of things inside. 

You walked inside, and to your surprise, the doors were opened. The tiny bell above signaled your arrival, and you were hit with the smells of sugars and chocolate and artificial fruit flavors…or, it might be natural fruit flavors. There were shelves and shelves of candies of all kinds throughout the small shop, but not a single big name brand, alongside an old school soda fountain, and several large barrels of candy you could scoop into bags. However, not a single person was running the register, at least as far as you saw. 

After the bell’s gentle ring, it was quiet as a mouse inside. 

Guess despite being open this late, whoever worked here didn’t think anybody would actually be here this late. Even then, the bell should’ve at least alerted whoever worked here... You looked to see if there was a bell you could ring at the register to see if anybody was available, but aside from the cash register- the only modern looking device here, there was a jar of candy, labeled “Free sample, take one only” with a smiley face. It seemed to just be a random assortment of different types of wrapped candies, from chocolates to hard fruit candy to saltwater taffy. You simply shrugged and stuck your hand in, grabbing a candy at random.

And what you pulled out was…

…A piece of assorted licorice, colored pink and black. 

Yuck! You always threw these away as a kid, and as far as you were aware, this sorta licorice was downright nasty. But you already took it out, it felt gross to put it back in after grabbing it, and a waste to throw it away. Maybe it was just your younger, picky, child tongue that made you not like licorice anyway. 

Either way, bottoms up!

It was chewy, and tasted fresh, something you didn’t expect from free samples. And you could taste the strong hint of star anise that merged with the sweetness of the sugar it was coated with. You thought you would wince at the flavors, but your eyes widened in shock at the realization that this wasn’t such a bad flavor! Black licorice wasn’t as bad as you initially thought. The jar said only one sample, but nobody was here to see you take a second, so you went looking in the jar for another piece. However looking at it at face value and rummaging your hand through, it seemed that that was the only piece in here. You pulled your hand back out without grabbing a second piece of candy, and saw your hand pulsating with multiple colors. You thought it was just a trick of the lights inside, but then the environment around you began moving and shifting at odd angles. The shelves began to curve and twist, you hears sounds that might’ve been there, but might’ve been your imagination, and there were spots in your vision.

Oh god, your head felt dizzy, the room was spinning and the ceiling got further and further away. Was this a bad idea? Is this store a front for something else? Or is this store that mysterious boogeyman that’s been putting expensive drugs in kids candy? Your foot slipped, you could feel your balance thrown off, and your body went limp as you barely felt your head hit the ground before passing out.

—

Your head hurt, hurt like someone threw a lacrosse ball with intent to kill you, and your eyes hurt when you tried to open them and all you saw was sunlight. Wait, sunlight? How long were you out? And more importantly, you were outside. You felt the grass underneath your body, not concrete or even a bed, and you could hear voices above you speaking, at first nothing but garbled nonsense before you could make out a few words. 

“They’re quite the looker, but pretty odd, maybe one of those fancy city folk up at the capital?”

“Why are they all the way out here in the countryside?” “We can help this lil cutie out and maybe get a little bit…”

“Get your fuckin head out the gutter idiot!” Slowly, you opened your eyes, shielding them from the sun before sitting up. Everything smelled sweet around you, the grass was soft and plush, but didn’t feel much like regular grass, and there were flowers that sprouted plums sprinkled about. Surrounding you, seemed to be a group of men, barely over 5 feet tall, and…flat? Oh…oh they were straight up a bunch of cookies. White frosting for hair, frosting features that emoted as they looked at you in curiosity, and their clothes seemingly the only thing not frosting based, but they all seemed to be wearing color coded farming gear. As soon as it occurred to you just what you were looking at, your eyes grew wide, and you backed away in fear until your back hit the trunk of a tree.

“What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck….” you muttered, before looking down at your body. You weren’t even in your uniform either, instead you were in a sleek, possibly silk reddish-purple Victorian nightgown that reached below your knees. 

“What the FUCK!!” You yelled aloud. 

“Yeesh lady, calm down, calm down!!” One of the gingerbread men cringed and covered his ears…or where his ears MIGHT have been, one dressed in overalls and a purple sweater. 

“What do you mean calm down WHERE AM I?” You stood up, and just as you did, a plum fell from the tree behind you and just barely missed hitting your head. “Who the hell are you guys?! Where’s the streets? The city?! I gotta get back Jesus fuckin-”

“This city slicker’s got a dirty mouth on her…” one of the gingerbread men leaned over to the other. “I kinda like it~!” That earned a smack from his friend to his right. 

“Alright pal, wait, hold up,” the purple sweater gingerbread man grabbed your arm, and out of instinct you pulled your arm away and glared daggers at who you wanted to turn into a pile of dirty frosting and crumbs. He stood maybe a foot under you in height, and he seemed to be the most serious of the half a dozen cookie men here, as well as the one most well equipped to handle your, at the moment, rather sour attitude.

“Tell me your name, first off,” he said. “Here, I’ll start, my name is Plum Pudding, this is Berry Blue, Cherry Bomb, Lemon Zest, Apple Tart, and Tangerine.” Well…judging by their clothes, at least they were all color coded so you wouldn’t forget. So, nervously you gave the group your name. 

“Now then, tell me, where are you from?” Plum asked you.

“I- well, certainly not here, wherever this is, where am I?”

“Oh, honey you must be far from home,” Lemon shook his head. “You’re here at Gingerfruit Farms.”

“And where exactly is Gingerfruit farms…?” you asked, your possibly impossible situation slowly dawning on you. 

“Right on the outskirts of the Sugar Kingdom,” Apple answered. “Far from home I presume?” 

“Sugar…sugar what?” You turned around, eyes devoid of emotion, and began pacing back and forth on the grass, looking at your feet because you’re afraid if you kept looking at the ginger men and the forests of fruit trees behind you you’d start to go crazy. 

“This is a dream, this is a dream…this is just a weird dream, maybe that piece of candy was drugged and I’m having a really bad trip!” you muttered. “Maybe I’m in the back of an ambulance after someone found me foaming at the mouth and this is everything I’m seeing before I die!” You crouched down, giggling and gripping your hair to avoid possibly screaming your lungs out again. 

“Oh god…yeah no we should go get Dr. Ginger…” Berry said. “They don’t seem too sound in the head right now…”

“Well, cmon bud, let’s go see what’s wrong with you,” Tangerine, the shortest but the broadest of the gingerbread men picked you up, and the rest soon followed, grabbing you to carry you off to god knows where.

“HEY! Augh!! Put me down!! I can walk on my own!” you exclaimed, despite not really putting up a struggle to be carried. You were still rather dazed, so walking might not have been a good idea.

“But you won’t know where to go, hot stuff,” Cherry replied. “And you might try and run away anyway.”

“Wait, what did you just call-” As the group carried you past the neatly tended rows of fruit trees made of gingerbread and candy leaves, you saw a house over the horizon start to come closer and closer into view. It seemed like a treehouse, not a child’s treehouse no, a house built within a massive branching Gingerfruit tree filled with all sorts of different types of fruits growing on different branches. Made of gingerbread seemingly and dotted with color large gumdrops with multicolored stained glass candy windows and a chimney pumping out rainbow smoke. 

The Gingerbread men carried you down to a large basket attached to a pulley system, and Apple pressed a nearby button.

“Doc?” Silence for a few seconds, before there was a crash, followed by the sounds of a man struggling to fix himself up along with a few mutterings under his breath.

“Oh uh, yes Apple?” The voice seemed to belong to that of an older gentleman, with a posh English accent.

“We got a patient here for you, they’re a wily one so get the muzzle if they start to bite you,” Tangerine answered. 

“What?! I’m not some wild-” That's when you were SHOT UP into the air by the pulley, screaming as you went up at a pace fast enough to nearly give you vertigo, until you came to an abrupt stop in the inside of the treehouse, shaky from the sudden ascension. It seems you landed in a doctor's office of sorts, but a very colorful one, the medicine cabinet stocked with pills that looked more like candy than anything, and several anatomical charts on the wall of not just people but gingerbread people, what looked to be lollipop people, and some big amorphous brown ooze. 

“Oh geez…” you looked around before sitting on the medical exam table, and the second your rump hit the seat, a man slammed the door open holding a bag of medical supplies that looked full to bursting. He appeared to be in his early 40s, and stood at five and a half feet tall. He was rather heavyset, with very pale skin and a big mess of wild green hair barely held together in a low ponytail, along with a green five o clock shadow. His doctor's coat was completely splattered with multicolored fruit juice stains, but the suit he wore underneath was pristine and a nice pleasant purple. 

“There’s my little patient!” the man turned to you and grinned in excitement. “Usually I have to do house visits but it’s nice of you to come to me!”

“I don’t exactly have a choice,” you shrugged. “I woke up here, and in this nightgown too, did those gingerbread perverts outside do this to me?”

“Well…I have no clue where’d they even get this lovely little gown you’re wearing,” the doctor took a look at you, and he seemed to be eyeing you up not just out of curiosity, but that grin hid something else underneath. “But, let’s do a few simple checkups. Oh, by the way, call me Dr. Ginger, you are?” “Well my name is-” before you could answer, Dr. Ginger got up close and shined a light into your eyes, and immediately you pulled back and covered your face and winced in pain and annoyance.

“Vision seems good if not a little sensitive…” The doctor pulled out a small hammer, and once it tapped against your knee you might have kicked a little bit too high and too suddenly, possibly from the shock.

“Reflexes are amazing…almost paranoid actually,” He then grabbed your chin to open your mouth, his gloved hand brushing against your tongue. Seemed he took his sweet time especially to examine your mouth, and having his fingers nearly in your mouth like this made you shiver. 

“Hm…” he paused, furrowing his brow. “I might need to take a look into this…my dear, would you mind if I ask for a simple kiss?” Is this this old man’s way of flirting with you? I mean, probably not going to be the weirdest thing to happen here, he was certainly an eccentric looking man, but far from a skeevy or messy pervert. 

“I mean, alright, sure-” The doctor then leaned in, gripping the sides of your head and planting a kiss against your lips. Seems it wasn’t the only thing he wanted. You felt his tongue push past your lips and taste around your mouth, and in turn you got to taste him. He did have a pleasant flavor, the taste and smell of sugar plums on his lips and tongue, and it seemed that your stress already began to melt away, until the doctor pulled away, a look of shock and worry on his face.

“Oh my word, have you been eating licorice…?” he asked. You almost didn’t hear him for a second, the kiss left you a little bit dazed, but you shook your head to get your thoughts back in order.

“Uh, I had one piece, it was a sample in a candy store,” you said. “And then I passed out, and then I woke up surrounded by gingerbread guys.”

“I see…I see what’s going on here…” Dr. Ginger sucked his teeth and shook his head. “That dastardly serpent…”

“What Dastardly serpent…?”

“Well, it seems you really aren’t from the Sugar Kingdom, first off, because someone brought you here. I’m surprised you didn’t just magically wake up in the clutches of that monstrous warlock.”

“What Monstrous warlock? You’re just saying things but not telling me.”

“Well, I can tell you,” Dr. Ginger started rummaging through his pockets. “But I can also show you.” He pulled out a roll of paper and handed it to you. It was a wanted poster.

“WANTED: Lord Anise Licorice, Wanted for theft, several accounts of attempted manslaughter, and illegal practice of dark magic. REWARD: 10,000,000 Candy Crystals.” The sepia tone paper had a portrait of a thin yet broad shouldered older man with a strong jawline, thin nose, long dark hair with lighter streaks in it, and a dark hat obscuring one half of his face.

“That licorice might have been his work to send you to this world, but for reasons I'm not sure of,” Dr. Ginger said. “However, it’s important to have you back to your world before he gets you into his clutches.”

“Well, I know who sent me here and that I can get back, but how do I?” Dr. Ginger snapped his fingers and pointed out his window, and you went to check it out. Beyond the trees you could see that there was a rainbow brick road that stretched out a far distance. 

“Follow the main road to the capital, and you should be there in no time at all. Request an audience with the king, and his magic will be able to take you back home. Of course, I can help you get there, I do have a carriage that’ll get you up there in three days tops if there are no interruptions.” 

“I…well…uh…” your expression softened, and you looked at the doctor with a sliver of hope in your eyes.

“Thank you, I don’t know where I am, but I’m so happy to have whatever help I can,” you softly muttered. “So uh…Thank you for this.”

“Anything for a sweet-faced cutie pie such as yourself!” Dr. Ginger grinned, scratching his 5 o'clock shadow a bit. “But, there’s still one thing that needs to be solved before I can help you back, as travel is stressful on the body, and you already seem to be carrying a lot of stress!”

“Yes I am in fact…very stressed out at the moment,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair and letting out a pained laugh. 

“Good thing I have a new little contraption for such an occasion, one moment, and put this on while I’m gone,” the second you looked back at the doctor, he was holding a patient's gown, but one with a rainbow jellybean pattern on it. 

“Uh…okay I guess,” you shrugged, the Doctor leaving so you could get changed. This wasn’t your first time having to wear one of these things, back when you still had decent health insurance. Once you folded your night gown to the side and put on the patient’s gown, you noticed that this was rather…short on you, and a bit tight around the hips. Were gowns always like this??

“I’m back!” Dr. Ginger's voice nearly had you jolted up out of nowhere, and he was coming in holding a rectangular case in one hand. “Alright dear, lay down, and spread your legs.” Curious, but your mind already thinking about the places this could go, you did as the doctor told you to, looking particularly at that color splattered case. He opened it up and your eyes went saucer wide.

“Mr. Cashew tells me this helps in special cases of stress and hysteria,” Dr. Ginger explains. “And you are carrying a lot of stress, so I had to get out the big guns.” And the big guns happened to be a dildo, and an odd shaped one. It was a melty gooey rainbow color with two ends, one of the ends being smaller and thinner, both ends however having a similar look and shape to long thin twisty lollipops. Oh wow, and here you thought he was going to prescribe you whatever sugary “medicine” was in that cabinet. 

“Let’s test this out on you, you’ll be my first patient to try this little device, and oh boy I’m excited to see the results! I was told to write down what happens, and I don’t want to test this on myself in fear of bias.”

“So am I also your little guinea pig in this case?” you asked. 

“Something of the sorts! No matter, I’ll make sure you’re as comfortable as possible, if there's anything wrong, you just tell me to stop and I’ll stop.” Dr. Ginger made sure his gloves were on tight, before pouring a very sickeningly purple liquid on his little device, possibly lube. 

“Now keep your legs spread nice and wide…” He licked his lips, grinning a much more devious, hungry grin. You kept your legs spread, and soon enough, you felt the head of the dildo slowly push past your entrance, and started sliding in with ease. Oh god he was right, you could feel your stress already melting away when you felt inch after inch of the girthy device slowly stretch you out.

“Mmm…oh god…keep going…” you moaned softly. 

“Hmm…the patient seems quite pleased by this,” Dr. Ginger stared at you intensely, curiously, before sliding it halfway into you. By then, you felt the other end of the dildo poking at your ass. Dr. Ginger took it slower than he already was, and the feeling of both ends of you being stretched out started to make you squirm. Dr. Ginger had to hold one of your legs, but even then he looked a bit fussy when you started to squirm.

“You might need to keep your legs still,” he huffed. “If you can't, I'll have no choice but to use the clamps…”

“S-sorry doctor…” you moaned. “It’s just that…oh god…it’s just that I-” You threw your head back and gasped when you felt the dildo begin to vibrate- at both ends nonetheless. Dr. Ginger looked at you to see if anything was wrong, but seeing your flushed expression and you moaning softly under your breath for more, he happily obeyed your adorable little pleas as the dildo went as deep as it could inside you, inside both of your ends. 

“This is the lowest setting, I’ll go up as far as you would like, my dear,” he smiled. “Oh but this is quite the machine. If only I was as tech savvy as Mr. Cashew was, I’d love to have more of these to try on such a cutie plum pie such as yourself~!” The settings went up only  by a little bit, and already your body was shuddering, soft moans and whimpers escaping your lips while you tried your best to keep your legs still as the doctor ordered you to. However, he sighed impatiently and pressed a button closest to the wall. 

Two pairs of mechanical hands shot out from the ceiling and grabbed you by the ankles, and the grip on them was firm enough to keep you in place.

“Another glorious invention as thanks to Mr. Cashew,” Dr. Ginger grinned. “Now you can stay nice and still…while I pleasure you properly…” While you felt the doctor pump the dildo in and out of you slowly with one hand, his other hand reached down, and his thumb began to rub your clit in slow careful circles. You covered your face, huffing and moaning as the sensation began to grow too much to handle, your body shook and your breathing got heavier and heavier.

“Yes…yes, perfect, oh how wonderful~!” Dr. Ginger brought the setting up higher, and already you swear you were seeing stars. Oh god why didn’t you ever get a sex toy like this before? All this while you were using your hands, but this, oh this is your first time being penetrated this deep and it feels so so good…

You cried out, arching your back and gripping the sides of the exam table when you could feel yourself tip over the edge into a climax, the dildo inside you soaking wet with the lube and your own fluids. And that seemed to please the doctor all too much, and he finally turned it off.

“Ohhhh YES!!” he exclaimed. “Perfect, perfect, so far this seems to be working just as intended…but…” You noticed he kept the dildo still placed nearly inside you, and so he used that opportunity to turn it back on, but you felt the vibrations at a much higher setting. You had barely recovered from your last orgasm and already you were hit with another rage of exhausting pleasure, practically screaming when you felt the dildo vibrating inside you.

“Doctor…ohhhh Doctor-!” You cried out.

“Is that your limit dear?” he asked. “Do you need me to stop it now?” You tried to vocalize it, but instead you shook your head. You wanted to keep going despite how incoherent you felt. This was amazing…

“You want me to keep going?” he asked. “Oh…oh aren’t you a special little test subject?” That’s when the Doctor began to thrust the dildo in and out of you at a faster yet steady pace, and this time he climbed up onto the exam table with you, marveling at your adorable flustered expression up close all the while fucking you with just that toy. 

“An absolutely marvelous patient and test subject…!” he grinned maniacally, holding your hips with his other hand while he leaned in to kiss your cheek, down your jawline and chin, down to your neck as he excitedly peppered your neck and collarbones with several excited kisses and licks to really savor you.

“You taste soooo sweet…a different kind of sweetness I’ve never tasted here, not even amongst all my medicines and tinctures, my dear, you are a delicious, delicious beauty…!” His touches were so gentle despite how much rougher and more excited he was getting from pounding you on both ends with the toy inside you, filling you up while the doctor kissed and sucked at your skin. 

“Cum for me again my dear…” he moaned before leaning down to kiss you again, his tongue exploring your mouth a second time out of excitement and lust instead of the way he was simply examining it earlier. He wanted to taste you out of the desire bubbling inside of him, to please you and hear you moan all for him, it was incredible! And it was incredible for you all the same, the sensations were driving you wild, already you knew you were close to a second orgasm, and just as you could feel that second climax…

Dr. Ginger turned up the setting to its maximum setting. You moaned loudly, you were incoherent, your insides were on fire and it was all so much. In fact it was too much for you and yet you wanted it to keep going. Your thoughts were scrambled up, nothing that came out of your mouth made sense except for the shaky loud moans escaping your lips while the doctor looked down at you absolutely wicked with lust. 

“Yes…yes…YES!!!” he cried out. “Keep moaning for me my sweet little guinea pig!! Show me how much this is making you feel good!”

“Doct- Doc- ohhhhhhhhh godddd!!!” You moaned loudly. That was the most you could speak, but you would beg for more, plead for more if you could. Despite your legs being constrained, you tried your best to buck your hips into the toy, but you were at the mercy of Dr. Ginger, and he was to show you absolutely none while his skillful hands fucked you, thrusting the dildo in and out of you even while it was still vibrating at such a rapid body shaking pace. 

“Do you like that dear? Do you like all that overstimulation to your cunt and ass my darling~?” Dr. Ginger asked you softly in your ear. “I wanna hear you saaaay it~!” 

“Y-ye- yes…” You muttered between moans, before squealing when Dr. Ginger thrust rather aggressively in you after nearly pulling completely out. 

“I can’t hear you…” he said with a coy mischievous grin. “I wanna hear you say how much you love it or I’ll stop…” You could feel his pace slow down, and the vibrations getting lower. That’s when you gripped the doctor desperately, grabbing his shoulders and looking at him with that same flushed half lidded face.

“Please- please please pleaaaase….” you begged. “This feels so so good Doctor, please…” Dr. Ginger hummed in satisfaction, and you felt the vibrator going from barely a hum, back up to max oh so quickly, and you nearly felt your head spin from the sensation. Dr. Ginger leaned back down, kissing you passionately as he straddled you and fucked you oh so hard with that precious toy of his. This time you wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers digging into the fabric of his coat. 

In that sweet passionate embrace did you cum for the third time on Dr. Ginger’s dildo, holding tight onto him as you felt your voice get scratchy from just how loud you were from cumming a third time. Dr. Ginger pressed that same button on the wall, and your legs finally fell back onto the exam table, and the doc climbed off of you, a visible tent in his pants. 

“Oh I have some amazing results to write down,” Dr. Ginger smiled. “Hooo WEE that was a good time, I think that should aleve your-” He looked back down at you on the exam table, laying on your side, soaking wet between the legs and seeing stars in your vision, and realized that you…might not be in any state to travel after that.

“I have a, er, a guest bed for you,” he said, helping you up off the exam table. “I think you should rest, and I have to pack some stuff for that journey of yours to the capital. I’ll explain all the details for when you’re not…in this state, so…” Dr. Ginger clapped his hands, and Plum peeked his head in, first to Dr. Ginger and then to you, and you just very lazily waved.

“Take our guest to the guest room for now, they need some rest after our little checkup.”

“Of course boss,” Plum went to pick you up, while Tangerine grabbed your clothes. Seems both of the gingerbread men were actively listening in on your time with the doc, cause Tangerine at least had a bulge in his pants from all that…how gingerbread men could have erections you have no fuckin clue. But You were taken up to a guest room in the eccentric color coated gingerbread house, and laid down in a lemon scented bed.

“Uh…I guess…see you later, pal,” Plum waved before closing the door. As soon as you were alone, you sat up in bed. Dr. Ginger definitely helped you from being stressed out, but you were still oh too aware of your current situation. A vintage candy store in your city had transported you to a world where everything and almost everyone was made out of sweets, and there was some Licorice Fiend after you. And now you have to find a way to the capital city to get back to your home before this guy finds out where you are. 

Part of you was still convinced this was a dream, but you’ve never had a dream that felt that good before.

[renegadeer]

 /gonna asssign every song on good news for people who like bad news sorry for being cringe </3

horn intro is literally just a horn intro it goes on for like 8 seconds and then ends its not a song. ill give it to uh box ig lol

world at large is suitcasecore. sorry. i like the lyrics

i know that starting over’s not what life’s about / my thoughts were so loud i couldnt hear my mouth

and also the uh. lots of bugs and stuff and sillys. and the tone of the whole thing. it is a nice song <3 the most mellow one on the list

float on is lightbulbcore its the most popular modest mouse song by far and its just very lightbulb core

it is funny silly. bout how bad things will happen and you cannot stop them but you all float on alright <3 and it is the prequel to lampshades on fire which is on another album but also lightbulb coded.. but for angstier reasons yum

OCEAN BREATHES salty is like my second favorite song on this album. and it is so marshmallow coded

your body may be gone im gonna carry it in / in my head, in my heart, in my soul

. then it goes onto nihilism. and the uh line “you get away from me” has two meanings in which one of the meanings is the singer pushing the dead person away from them and the other meaning is the singer not understanding why they did those things and. yipee marshcoded sorry. 

dig your grave is like a guitar and then 4 lines whispered 

. its a little bit mephone4 . its a precursor to the next song and that one is so mephone4

bury me with it is mephone4 coded. hehe . his themes in season 3 of refusing to let go

well the suit got tight and it split at the seams / but i kept it out of habit and i kept it real clean / but if its getting faded if its running out of thread / could you do this for me my friend? then it goes onto the chorus which is the title of the song <3. and its a fun song . mid song but its stil l got the

Dance hall

half the lyrics are im gonna dance all dance all every day and the other half are illusions to unhealthy coping mechanisms so i think i can give this one to lightbulb safely <3

bukowski <3 is my favorite song on this album and its about comparing the struggles over everyday people to god/authorities nd basically saying that authority figures  gotta be just as shitty as everyone else if theyre all created in his image. and its 

if god controls the land and disease / and keeps a watchful eye on me / if hes even so high and mighty / then my problems that i cant see / god, who'd wanna be such a control freak

religious and father symbolism in a lot of it. mephone4 again

anyways thats the last mephone4 song. the next song is That Devil's workday and its about NIHILISM but in the opposite direction of ocean breathes salty! if the shitty things you do barely matter then you keep on doing em! and thats taco! singer thinks they are beyond redeption and therefore doubles down on the shit they do! tacocore

The view is next and its pickle.

:) and i adore this song for its reoccurring theme of betrayal and hoping the Worst for the person who did . despite missing them and yipee

satin in a coffin is fun.

same theme of revenge but angrier and far less forlorn and. thumbs up emoji sorry. cant describe it this album has too many songs

Interlude (Milo) has no words. moving on

blame it on the tetons is softer and its also about blaming your personal apathy and emotional disengagement because all your attempts seem fruitless and i think thats </3 blueberry season 3 episode 10 sorrryyyy. she does blame it on the tetons.

black cadillacs is SO SUITCASE actually sorryy

alliance breakup arc core.

. actualky hold on im gonna obsess over this song all week i think dammit give me a bit to actually

One Chance

feels very paintbrushcoded :)

they care so much but they dont know how to go about Fixing things without hurting others in the process and they are fucking up. soo much and they decide its best to quit and. :)

The Good times are killing me

is aboht unhealthy coping mechanisms again and also the upbeat tune and the nihilism hidden under the bouncy guitar is just lightbulb coded. and also the lyrics is quite literally the Good Times are killing me. lightbulb song

[koosc]

ANONYMOUS SENT A MESSAGE

Okay but can I have #3 with Chan from skz? Female reader or gender neutral is good (: I’d love some angst that ends happy because I cannot handle sad rn

happier than ever (b.chan x reader)

warnings/tags: idol!bangchan x female!reader, oc confesses out of anger but its all in good terms, emotional channie but he’s in safe arms dw~

genre: slight angst, fluff

words: 573 words

a/n: hello anonie! (: Okay, I hope this little drabble makes you a bit happy~ the prompt is “dammit because I love you!” this is a repost from my main account ^^

-

You’ve been staring at Chan’s back for the past half an hour now, clicking sounds from the mouse and small “no, this isn’t good” or “nope, not this one” has been resonating in his studio.

You came with his dinner, hoping he would take a little break and maybe spend some time with you. You had placed it infront of him, hoping the delicious smell would get to him, only to get a “not right now, love, a little later.” You sigh and get up from the couch and remove Chan’s headphones, “and what do you think you’re doing?”

You look at him, an irritated look on your face, “i know you’re working and doing your best but it won’t hurt to eat a bit of food, you know?” Chan snatches back the headphones from you, “well if you know that I’m working, why don’t you just leave me alone?!” Anger flashes through his eyes and you’re shocked, having never heard him talk to you like that.

You turn his chair so that he’s facing you, “any one else would tell what they’re going through, can’t you atleast do that?!” Chan scoffs and gets up, “you wouldn’t get it,” “i would if you just tell me!” You look at him, trying to gauge his expression.

Chan’s breathing in and out, trying to stop his tears from falling, “you should leave, we can talk about this later and you’re always here, maybe you’re getting tired.” You’re positively fuming, how could he say something like that? “I’m not getting tired of anything, I’m trying to take care of you” you say through gritted teeth. “and why? i can take care of myself” “but are you?! are you taking care of yourself? I’m your girlfriend, let me do atleast one thing for you!” Chan’s stony face bores into you but you hope your words get through him.

Chan shakes his head, “i don’t understand because anyone else in your place would’ve left a long time back and here you are, staying,”

“dammit because I love you!” you blurt out, furious with his baseless reasons for you to leave.

Chan widens his eyes, “what did you just say?” You’re mimicking his expression but your words are firmly said, “i said I love you.”

Chan walks to where you’re standing and cups your face, “don’t lie, please don’t be lying, please don’t let it be something you said in the moment,” You stand on your tiptoes and give him a peck on his forehead, “i don’t care if you don’t say it back, Channie but you needed to know that and I’ve been wanting to say it a while.” you smile slightly, you lift his head up so he’s looking at you, directly into your eyes.

There’s a teary smile on his face, “i love you, just so you know,” your thumbs wiping away the miniscule drops falling from his eyes.

Chan hugs you tightly, hoping this wasn’t just another dream and when he wakes up, he’ll be left feeling empty again. You rub his back and place your chin on his shoulder, happy he’s finally relaxed and within your arms, happy as he could ever be. You feel him mumble something against your skin, followed by a smile. You ruffle his hair gently, “what was that again, love?” Chan lifts his head slightly, “said i’m glad i’m with you now, I feel happier than ever.”

-

[amethystpath-writes]

So Cold

(NOT A PR0MPT)

******

“The world is ending. You realize that, right?”

Villain’s brow twitched before his eyes became squinted in a cool, calculated gaze. He realized, Hero knew, he just didn’t care.

“You’ve already won.” The statement- that admittance- it hurt. Hurt in a way Hero couldn’t have even begun to describe herself. It was emptiness and it was starvation, but it was necessary if Hero wanted any chance at receiving a semi-proper death. “I’ll die regardless of where. Let me go,” she said- rather begged.

Hero glanced down as Villain leant forward, newspaper in hand. She’d seen this paper before- seen it more times than she cared to count. It was part of Villain’s breaking in process. “The streets are empty,” Villain told her. She nodded.

“I know.” Her voice was quiet, hardly existent.

“You would rather die alone than in my company.”

Her chin lifted in an instant, and she couldn’t tell whether it was her own response, or if Villain had made her do it. Either was likely. Both was likely. “That isn’t what I said.” Her voice was already much more solid, albeit panicked. “I just…”

“Yes?”

“I want to see light again. Real light.”

Villain hummed, his eyes becoming hooded again as he brought the paper back to himself, leaning back in his chair, crossing his legs. “There is none.”

“There has to be. It’s warm in here; that means the sun is out.”

“It’s warm in here because the sun is too hot, too close for the air conditioning to stop us from cooking.”

It was this sentence that Hero had a revelation. He’s scared to die. Not only this, but he was scared to die alone. It was why he chose to keep Hero instead of letting her go. It didn’t matter to him whether Hero had her final moments with someone else, just as long as they weren’t without him.

“You would rather die in my company,” Hero whispered. “You don’t want to be alone when the world ends.”

There was something- something hidden- in Villains posture. He was grouchy all the time, but his posture was straight, confident, and otherwise concealed. He used his stances as a veil- a mask.

“You’re scared.”

“You are becoming cocky, Hero.” It was a warning, a threat of sorts, though there was nothing for him to do to Hero anymore. She might as well have been a pet parrot, a useless thing that spoke and mocked on occasion.

“I’m curious,” she piped. Any amount of fear or caution was slipping away, crawling down off her body like a thick and slow oil. “You won, finally. You could have- should have killed me, and I’ve wondered all this time why you haven’t.” She paused, and there was a heavy silence draped between the two of them. “It’s because you knew the world was ending…wasn’t it? Because you knew and you knew there was no one else to take advantage of which would give you so much satisfaction.”

Hero didn’t say it in hopes of besting him; she knew that was impossible at this point. Impossible when she hadn’t trained in a year. It took one capture, one method of restricting her. Of course, Villain had failed at first, keeping her from escaping whatever bonds he had her in. She would twist and turn, burn her wrists to get out- could never figure out the alarm system though. Regardless, Villain finally found a way that Hero couldn’t escape, and that was all it took.

“Are you the reason we’re going to die?”

Villain cleared his throat, and Hero knew she would need to sit down if she were standing. “Not exactly,” he admitted. The constant authoritative tone in his voice dropped, the sound of his voice becoming lighter itself. “What am I, Hero?”

“An oracle.”

He nodded.

“So, you did know the world would end,” Hero snapped. “If you are so scared to die,” she began to ask, “why not stop this? You must know the way.”

He nodded once again. “I do.” Villain rolled his neck, letting it crack one way, then the other. He was stalling, but there was only so much he could do before he had to fess up. “But I’ve never killed anyone before- only hunted them down and gave them to someone else. That someone else died before I could give them the person the world needed to die.”

An anchor dropped in Hero’s stomach. It didn’t occur to her yet that she was the one meant to die. “You’ve taken others?”

“Didn’t think you were the only one worth hunting, did you?” Villain scoffed, lightly. “Prophets are cursed, Hero. Plagued with every way the world could fall into catastrophe. It isn’t fixed in killing one person; someone else just takes their place. It’s like Earth wants to die, alright?” His fists were clenched, fingernails undoubtedly digging into his palms, likely almost enough to draw blood. “You’re the first one who can’t be killed.”

To both of their surprises, Hero said, quite simply, “I can be killed.” She wouldn’t meet Villain’s eyes as she continued by saying, “If it’d save everyone, even temporarily, I could be killed.” The idea had finally struck her- that she needed to die- but she couldn’t respond as fearfully as she typically would have.

The newspaper slid across the floor in an angry sweep. “You weren’t listening.” Villain stood, paced. “I can’t kill you, Hero. I don’t have it in me to.”

A silence laid still in the room. Neither’s breath could be heard, nor the scribbles within their mind. They sat, Villain, comfortably in a chair, and Hero, uncomfortably on the floor.

“If you couldn’t kill me, why be cruel to me? Why not just let me go?”

Hadn’t she already said it herself? Villain didn’t want to die alone.

“I thought if I could convince myself you were an untamed animal, then I could just put you down. Shoot you, or poison you, or shove an empty syringe between your toes, but…dying is worth it to not have to kill you.”

“I’ll die anyways.”

“We all will.”

“You can stop it!” Hero protested. “I can stop it! Stop everyone from dying. Why would you let the world end when you know how to prevent it?” Hero didn’t understand. If killing her would save everyone, even if temporarily, why not jump on the opportunity? Villain had been doing it all along, according to him. Maybe not the killing part, but generally. “I’m going to stop it,” Hero declared.

“You are? How do you plan on executing that plan?”

“I’ll hold my breath.” And she did, but not before sucking a breath in to hold.

Villain chuckled, “If your plan is to kill yourself, taking that big breath you did was pointless. The point is to not have air.”

Hero let the breath out. “So, you won’t kill me yourself to save the world, but you’ll instruct me on how to do it myself?”

“I’m doing neither. You’ll die with the rest of the world.”

Another stretch of pause. Hero spoke up, “And if the end of the world is more painful than anything you could ever do to me?”

This was an outcome Villain hadn’t thought of; Hero could tell. His posture slackened, shoulders dropping like weights had been placed on them.

“Would you kill me then? If you knew the alternative was worse?”

“I would,” Villain admitted, “but you don’t know what the end will look like.”

“Shouldn’t you, prophet?”

“I said if it were worse then I would kill you.”

The two never bickered like this. They only ever stared at one another, while Villain might have occasionally sent a soft insult at Hero, calling her a rat, or a pesky mouse. She would do nothing because there was nothing to do.

Now, though? Now, it was a matter of the universe, and Hero had every intention of saving it. Intentions meant nothing, unfortunately. “Why can’t you kill me yourself? Beyond the end of the world doing it more gently.” She stated this last part firmly, making sure Villain had no way to run around the question by giving the same answer.

“I told you. The person that could have killed you died. He’s dead, so you’re not.”

“That’s not you,” Hero once again protested. “Whoever that was, they’re irrelevant. You can stop this. This heat. This devastation. This end. You can stop all of it in its tracks.”

Hero clearly didn’t understand that it was Villain himself who he was talking about. She didn’t understand that a piece of him died at the thought of killing her. Her. Only her, dammit. Villain had killed so many people before her, centuries before her, and yet…he couldn’t kill her.

“I have a handheld fan. It’s about the only thing I have to cool you down. You want it?”

With the slightest nod, Hero accepted the offer. She wanted to argue. Wanted to keep going, keep pushing, but she was finally gaging that doing such was pointless.

The world was going to end.

[cursedwriter]

Cursed! Part 3 - Gojo Satoru

Part One // Part Two // Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist 

Synopsis: After running some errands you’re caught off guard by a curse user. Unbeknownst to you, he has something up his sleeve that would mean a fate worse than death to you. How will you get out of this? And what role does your boyfriend - the Satoru Gojo - play in all of this?

Words: 1.3k

Author’s Note: Feedback is appreciated! Thanks for reading! 

Gojo was already running in the direction where the maniac had disappeared to. Upon hearing you scream he had been momentarily distracted which had given the culprit the opportunity to slip out of his sight. No matter, though. He was no match for him anyway. When Gojo reached the end of the park, though, the veil you had cast sent a jolt of energy through his body, pushing him back and not letting him through. Ugh, not that again! Looked like he was trapped here. That bastard! I swear to God if I ever come across you again, you won’t be laughing anymore, Satoru thought. A sick grin spread across his face as he thought of all the ways he could make that pathetic excuse of a man cry and beg him to show mercy. He wouldn’t though. That thought made him smile even more until…

Something shattered against his limitless technique. Well, not just something. It was a surge of pure cursed energy perfectly aimed and concentrated. The sheer force of the blast had his feet slipping slightly and any normal opponent would’ve been swept off their feet completely. Gojo turned around to see where the hit had come from, but the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach already told him everything he didn’t want to know.  The flowing cursed energy in the air, that perfectly aimed hit… it all led to one person and person only. You.

Another hit. This time he saw the bright flash of a glowing arrow connecting and disrupting on the outside of his protective infinity shield.

What the hell were you doing?

Another hit. The force of the blasts was increasing and Gojo sucked in air through his gritted teeth.

“Y/N, what the hell?! Stop hitting me!” Gojo complained, though, dread was spreading throughout his whole body. He could only hope that his suspicion was false. No, he forced himself to think it was false.

No way in hell, no way, no way. No. Fucking. Way.

“You should’ve run when you still could.” Your voice echoed off the trees in the confined space. Gojo had his back turned to the veil, trapping him like a mouse. He had yet to see your face. Your cursed energy was concentrated in a tree to his right. You must’ve climbed up there when you last hit him with one of your arrows made out of light and cursed energy. As if to prove him right – though, of course he was right – multiple arrows flew out of the tree crown, hitting and exploding upon impact. “I can’t stop, Gojo. I’m sorry, but I can’t stop.” Your quiet sobs reached his ears and he could feel his heart dropping to his stomach, slowly and painfully being digested by his stomach acid.

Finally, you jumped off the tree branch you’d been sitting on, landing on your feet gracefully and even in a situation like this, Gojo couldn’t help but admire you. Your eyes were bloodshot, red from crying so much. Your whole body shook with the force of you weeping and sobbing as a glowing sword materialized out of thin air, perfectly fitting in your hand.

Gojo didn’t say anything, he already knew what was going on. A bitter laugh escaped his parted lips. That fucking bastard. He had to hand it to him, though. It was one hell of a plan. Having you kill him or forcing him to kill you. Either way, it was a fight without victory.

“Satoru,” Your voice was earnest, pleading. “You have to do it! Please, you have to!” Your mouth was telling him one thing, but your body was acting on its own accord, swinging the sword with murderous precision at your sides. “It’s okay, I promise. Please! It has to be you!”

Were you seriously asking him to kill you?

“It’s fine, as long as I have my shield, you can’t touch me anyways. The veil won’t hold forever, that’s impossible. We just have to wait until someone from the college notices and helps with backup, then we’ll kill that sleazy bastard and the curse will be lifted. Simple, right? So don’t panic, it’s going to be alright,” Gojo tried to reason, voice calm and collected despite him being more anxious than he cared to admit.  Even to himself.

But it wasn’t going to be alright. Of course not. The curse user had planned it all out to the latter. He anticipated his own death already, but not before one of you would die as well.

“No, no, no,” you shook your head as if you could shake the impending words out of your mind. “I – I won’t. No. No!” Your eyes met Gojo’s which were blown wide in horror upon seeing you like this. The sight hurt more than any physical attack ever could.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, though, he doubted he wanted to know.  

“The… The trump card. Do you remember my trump card? The one I was never able to master?”

Of course he did. He was the one who egged you on to perfect the technique after all. Gojo nodded slowly. A big lump already forming in his throat, while his mind raced a thousand miles per minute, already planning out different scenarios.

“Well, he wants me to use it.” For a brief moment your eyes seemed to lose their murderous intent. “Please, Gojo, you have to do it. Now! I don’t know how much longer I can fight it!”

You lifted your sword in the air, pure cursed energy surging through your body, concentrating at the very tip of your sword. Though, everything within you willed you to strike him in the heart or cut his head off, you forced your arm to aim for his leg instead. It wouldn’t make contact with him anyway… or so you thought.

“Gojo! Gojo, what the hell?!” You screamed at the top of your lungs. Did he really just release his cursed technique? Why?! Why would he do that?! “You idiot! You idiot!” The sword in your hand shrunk down to a small but deathly dagger as you watched the blood spilling from the wound in his leg. Gojo stumbled and fell to the ground, grunting in pain, but he tried to keep his expression as neutral as possible. For your sake, you knew that. He must’ve been in tremendous pain right now. Your body moved on its own, hovering above him, dagger slightly raised above his heart. Tears spilled from your waterline, blurring your vision as you saw the adoring smile on his face. “You idiot! Put it back on! Put it back on!” You screamed. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. No. He wasn’t the one who was supposed to die.

It should be me. It should be me! Dammit!

Your body shook with your sobs, hand with the dagger inching closer to where it wanted to connect. You forced ever fiber of your being, ever cell in your body to stop, but nothing worked. Your body didn’t listen to any of your commands. All you could do was watch as the dagger inched closer and closer. “Gojo, please!” You begged. What was he doing? Why wasn’t he doing anything?! “Do something!!!”

Unexpectedly he reached forward, thumb brushing over your cheek affectionately and wiping away the tears from under your eyes. “I promised to protect you, didn’t I? This way I’m dying willingly. You don’t have to feel bad about it. I won’t force you to use your trump card and feel guilty for it for the rest of your life.” His hand still lingered on your cheek, the warmth of it flowing through your freezing body. “It’s okay, Y/N, I promise!”

“No, please don’t!” But you couldn’t keep your hand from moving forward…

[cblgblog]

Sorry I’m advance but one of my other favorite accounts just reblogged a Tony scene and people are talking about Civil War and how it made them Stan Tony, and how when they watch that movie they hate team cap👀 Then someone was all about how he was sleep deprived and how much pressure he was under and couldn’t understand how people didn’t like Tony because. Someone literally said that when someone says they don’t like Tony in Civil War they say “did you watch the same movie as me.” I’m baffled. Oddly enough someone else said, “he just wants to help everyone.” Sorry for the rant but I think people forget about what the accords are and what it would mean for people. Side note, I hope you’re having a great day/night 😀

No sorry needed!

I feel you man, I do. Honestly, I’ve unfollowed people based on similar posts when I was in especially Done moods, so.

Look on the one hand, the movie would’ve been a narrative failure if everyone was in favor of one side or the other, right? The whole point of the damn thing—besides giving the Mouse overlords more money—was to spark discussion, debate. Which, yeah, we’ll call that the tame description for what actually happened. But just, the thing was meant to split the fanbase so in that regard…winning? Thanks, I guess?

Film is also very obviously subjective, different strokes for different folks, so yeah, ten people can watch a movie and none of them are gonna see the exact same film. Let’s try to remember that this is, in theory anyway, a good thing. I just read a professional film review yesterday where I had the same reaction. What film were you watching, dude? Incidentally his reviewing partner said the same thing.

So honestly, no, they weren’t watching the same film as you or I or anyone else, because everyone brings their own biases and experiences and knowledge and interests into a thing, and that’s always going to flavor how it’s viewed. Again, let’s try to remember that this is good. In theory. Heavy on the theory.

That out of the way? Let’s get into Tony specifically so his uber stans can find this and scream at me on anon as though I just shot RDJ with a nuke.

Oh yeah, he was stressed. Oh, he was sleep deprived. Yeah, I’ve heard that. And that it’s Pepper’s fault, if she hadn’t left the poor baby, if she was there to rein him in, he’d be fine dammit, leave the baby alone!

Here’s the thing. You know who gets a pass on their shit behavior when they’re upset or tired? Actual babies. Actual babies and toddlers, and children, up to a point. Because they actually cannot always help themselves. Their bodies and brains are different, they have not learned better.

When you’re a 50-year-old man who’s supposedly the world’s bestest superhero, who wants, wants to be in charge of protecting the whole world? You need a little more self-control than that. The sleep deprived excuse works if you snap at someone before you’ve had your coffee, not for this. Roseanne Barr didn’t get to blame Ambien for her racism, Tony doesn’t get to handwave CW away because oops, I was tired.

Really? You’re a superhero, dude. Most of your teammates are tired too, that’s part of the gig. If you crash and burn this badly without your afternoon nap, fucking hang up the armor and go back to your billionaire playboy lifestyle.

Speaking of that, sure, right. It’s Pepper’s fault because she left him. Put aside the argument on whether that was justified or not (cough, it was and she should’ve stayed away even though they are adorable together). It’s not Pepper’s job to keep Tony sane. It’s not any partner’s job to do that for anyone. If she wants out, she has a right to that, without Tony going off the rails and blaming it on her. Seriously, he says part of the reason he backed the Accords was to “split the difference” with Pepper.

Dude. You were an asshole and you lost your girl. You destroyed all your suits, turned an emotional and mental corner in IM 3…and then relapsed 4 minutes later I guess because Whedon. Either way, Tony admits himself that he does not want to stop. So instead of doing that, or finding another partner who can accept that, you back an unjust international law that pits you against your team, your supposed friends? Go to therapy, have a pint of ice cream, cry into your pillow, send her more of those strawberries you sent her in IM 2 that she’s allergic to. You don’t go trying to change international law in ways that could ultimately affect millions of people because your girl left you.

Honestly—and thank God they didn’t do this but—the only way the Pepper excuse works in excusing his behavior in any way is if she’d died. Or been severely injured like Happy in IM 3. Still wouldn’t be okay, but, like Quill messing up their chance to stop Thanos because Gamora died, it would’ve been more understandable. Understandable, not excusable, and the way the MCU treats their women as manpain fodder, we’re probably legit lucky we didn’t get this.

As for him wanting to help everyone. He does in fact want that, I think. The problem is that his need to feel like he’s doing that is stronger than his rational mind, or his want to actually help in a constructive way.

Tony is too smart. He’s dumb as hell in many instances, mostly involving people and relationships, but he’s also too smart, and he’s been told for too long that he’s smart, and he’s bought into it. Ultron. Suit of armor around the world, protects the world, no more alien threats. It’s a simple concept on paper that fails in execution. So there are people with dangerous powers. Okay, we’ll make a set of laws to keep them from being dangerous, problem solved. But again, it isn’t.

Tony is not used to problems he cannot solve. He’s a genius, right? He can fix anything. He should be able to fix anything. That’s how he feels. But not everything is zeros and ones and circuits, things that can be fixed mechanically like his armors can. The people he wants to protect are not built that way. But he needs to feel like he’s doing something, because he’s terrified of what happens to the world if he doesn’t. So he creates these simple solutions to complex problems. The suit of armor, the Accords. They sound good in theory, but the problems they’re trying to solve are bigger than they are. And Tony, way back in IM 1, he sat back for years, clueless that his weapons were being used for bad things. He says it to Cap in CW. When he found out what his weapons were being used for, he went in and stopped it. Whether or not he should’ve known that already is a separate issue here. The point here is that when he found out, too late or not, he went in and did something about it.

Tony needs to do something about it. Again, go back to Cap in AoU, Tony’s nightmare sequence. Steve asks Tony why he didn’t save them. Tony’s ultimate nightmare is that he sits back and does nothing, and his inaction causes everyone to die. Which is where you get Ultron. Something he came up with because of what he saw in space in Avengers 1, then doubled down on in AoU. It’s where you get the Accords. Oops, he caused someone to die, he killed Charles Spencer. Must do something about that right now so it doesn’t happen again, and he won’t have to feel this guilt. He should be collaborating with others to come up with solutions (no Bruce in AoU doesn’t count because Bruce was dumb there), or at the very least, taking more time to think through the repercussions of the things he puts out there. But he doesn’t, because he’s got his savior complex that tells him that he alone can and must fix this, and because he’s too dumb to realize how not-smart he is in certain areas.

“We need to be put in check. Whatever form that takes, I’m game.”

Isn’t that what he says in CW, or something very close to it? Whatever form that takes. That’s the issue, right there, whatever form that takes. Realistically, yes, there should be laws regarding people with powers, the same way there are special laws pertaining to people who carry guns, or people who are licensed to fly planes. You have a thing/can do a thing that not everyone else does, so there are regulations pertaining to that thing. Laws change with the times, they always have. Some new technology comes up, eventually there will be laws that regulate it. As there should be, honestly. The issue with the Accords, Steve’s issue with the Accords, was not the basic idea. He says as much. He says that it could work, but there would have to be safeguards. Safeguards that are not in the Accords that Tony wants him to sign.

It's not a matter of oh, fuck the law, there should be no law governing these people, they’re above it. The problem is that the law as it’s presented here is unjust. There’s what, a month between Lagos and Ross coming by to tell them about the Accords? A month is not enough time to properly analyze such a big issue, Especially when you’re reacting out of fear, which is what happened with Lagos. People died because of an Enhanced person, an Avenger, in this case. Lawmakers don’t want that to happen again, they especially don’t want the political shit storm that comes with it. Damn, we look like we were asleep at the switch here, not having anything to throw at this problem earlier. Quick, let’s throw together this thing so no one can say we’re not addressing the problem.

Patriot Act of 2001, anyone? 9/11 happened, the public were rightfully terrified, the US said oh man, these are unprecedented circumstances, we’ve never had this before. Don’t worry though, we’re on this, we’re protecting you. The reality being that that bill simply gave the government too much power, most of it being used against people who were not actually threats, and it’s debatable, to say the very least, whether or not that law helped more than it hurt.

No law is perfect. No law ever will be. It’s not possible. We still have to strive for perfection though, have to aim there so that the laws we get are as close to fair as possible. Tony’s a big deal. If not for his “whatever form that takes” attitude, he might’ve been able to use his influence to pressure lawmakers into coming up with a fairer bill. Hey, I’m me, the public loves me, I will endorse this bill publicly and work on getting the rest of the team to sign, but you need to change this and this and this first, or no deal. Instead, he took the easy way out, the quickest, easiest way for him to feel like he’s atoned for his sins without actually doing anything. Whatever form that takes.

Tony’s not wrong because he backs the creation of a law that addresses these things. He’s wrong because he says himself that he does not care what that law does, specifically, so long as it exists. He’s wrong because he violates said law upteen times during the movie, while preaching to team Cap about what assholes they are for not backing it. He’s wrong because he cares more about feeling as though he’s tackled a problem than he does about taking the time to make sure that the thing he’s proposing is actually a good idea. He’s wrong because of what he does with Bucky, though that’s honestly a separate issue, for the purposes of this discussion.

Anyway, that was longer than I ever wanted it to be. Damn. Next time you see a comment about CW being the reason people stan Tony, just remember there are other people out there who stopped stanning Tony because of that movie. Everyone’s entitled to see a piece of media however they see it, and although the Tony stans are often the loudest, there are plenty of like-minded people out there who share your take on events. Block who you need to, unfollow who you need to, blacklist what you need to, and don’t let them get you down.

Hang in there, and have an awesome day :)

[devildom-tyrant]

hi! i absolutely adore your writing! this blog and your undertale blog are just *chef’s kiss* anyway, i was wondering if i could request some headcanons of Lucifer, Mammon, Satan, and Beel concerning the new animal event? as in, MC wants to touch their animal ears and/or tails! how would they react and how would it turn out? could MC also already be their S/O in this? thank you! ❤️

Lucifer

Before your wandering hand can reach his wolf-like ears, Lucifer grasps your wrist, a smirk curving his lips.  Even though he’s a literal predator now, he’s always had a predatory gleam in his eyes, one you can see clearly as he leans in toward you.  

“Your pulse is racing,” he murmurs, and the blunt way he points it out causes your face to flush.  It’s so difficult to not be flustered by him, even now.

“It doesn’t take wolf instincts to know that,” you shoot back, tugging your wrist from his grip.  

“True.  However, I can tell that you want something from me.  You’re excited; your blood is practically pounding in your veins, and even your eyes seem slightly dilated.  It’s easier to detect subtle changes in this form.”

“You could already read me like a book,” you insist, your face heating up even more.  There’s something about the way he’s looking at you that’s making your heart pound... It makes you feel like prey, like he could pounce on you at any moment.  Honestly, the anticipation is something you’re discovering you like. “So, tell me what I want from you.”

“The same thing I want from you.”

That smirk hasn’t left his lips.  For a non-answer, he’s spot-on; you know he wants to touch you, to put his heightened senses to the test and see what draws what reaction.  What you want right now, however, is a bit more innocent.  

“Okay then.  I’ll go first,” you return, reaching toward him again.  He quirks a brow, but doesn’t halt your hand’s progress this time, and your fingertips graze the side of his ear.   The fur is soft on the inner part, with a coarse layer on the outer portion, and they twitch beneath your touch.  They’re interesting, but what really has your attention is his tail.  

His smirk has faded slightly, but his attention is still riveted to you as you move your exploration to the fluffy wolf tail that remains still behind him.  His expression is more guarded now, but he doesn’t move to stop you as you stroke the fur gently.  It isn’t as soft as Belphie’s, but it’s still fluffier than most of the other tails, and you enjoy petting it.  

Suddenly, it jerks from your grasp, and you think for a moment that you hurt him.  One quick glance up at Lucifer, however, reveals a light blush to his features, and that he isn’t quite meeting your gaze.

His tail is still moving back and forth.  Realization dawns, and you grin.  “Are you wagging your tail, Lucifer?”

“Be quiet.”  His words lack any actual bite.  “Do you realize how hard it’s been to keep it from wagging?  It has a mind of its own.”

“I think you’re just happy, and your tail is showing that,” you claim, reaching up again to give an ear a pet.  Lucifer finally looks at you again, his hands coming up to rest at your waist.  

“You should already know that I’m always happy when you’re near me.”

Mammon

“You’re starin’.”  

There’s a blush across Mammon’s face as he side-eyes you, and you snap back to reality.  Yes, you had been staring at Mammon’s new features, but you just couldn’t help it.

“Your ears and tail keep moving,” you point out, and he crosses his arms, blushing harder.

“I-it’s not like I’m doin’ it on purpose!  They won’t stop!”

“Maybe it’s because you’re happy?” you tease, trying to get him to turn an even brighter red.  He’s always been so easy to fluster.  

“W-well, yeah... Yeah, you could say that.  But if they’re gonna move every time I’m happy, this crap’s gonna get annoyin’ fast.”

With a grin, you reach out and touch one of his tiger ears, and Mammon’s attention snaps to you.  “What’re ya-- Oh.”  His voice trails when you gently scratch behind his ear, and you quirk an eyebrow.  The thin tiger tail flicks behind him.  

“Does that feel good?” you inquire, trying to read his expression.  He’s still so flustered, torn between dismissively lying or being honest, but you’re at the point in your relationship where the latter often wins.  

“Y-yeah...”  There’s a growl to his voice that you haven’t heard since he first changed and ran off to avoid devouring you.  He clears his throat, trying to rid himself of it, even though you find it pretty hot.  “Dammit, I feel weird sayin’ that.  This whole animal thing’s weird, even for us.”

Your fingers hesitate.  “Should I stop?”

“No!”  He cuts in a little too quickly, and then closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath.  “I mean... you seem like you’re enjoyin’ yourself.  So ya don’t gotta stop.”

“Okay, then.”  You keep rubbing his ears, and your smile grows as he leans into your touch, tilting his head toward your fingers.  His tail flicks toward you, hitting against your thigh, and you reach down with your free hand to stroke it.  Mammon keeps his eyes closed to avoid the embarrassment, though his tail continues to flick away, and his ears move beneath your fingers.  

You have to admit, you like him in this form, and you’re glad it’s going to last another week.  Even if he still has trouble admitting his feelings sometimes, these new features make it difficult for him to hide them.

Plus, you really like petting him.

Satan

The cat of Wrath may just be sitting next to you on the couch, reading a book, but you can’t stop wistfully looking at his cat ears.  It’s fitting that he would change into a cat, you can’t help but think, especially considering his contact picture in your phone is a selfie of him with a cat ears and whiskers filter overlay.

“Do you want to touch them?”

Startled from your thoughts, your gaze drops to Satan’s face, but he’s still looking at his book.  “I can feel your eyes on my ears.  You can touch them if you want.”

“Really?” you blurt, scooting closer on the couch.  

“Of course.”  He sets the book down on his lap and turns toward you, a smirk suddenly crossing his lips.  “But I can’t say I won’t touch back.”

Just like that, he cups your cheek, fingers cradling your jawline to tilt your head back.  You can feel your face reddening, and you realize his expression is the very picture of the cat who caught the canary.  “We’re in the living room,” you point out, causing him to shrug.  

“Yes, and?”

“And we’re not going to play cat and mouse in the living room,” you return, reaching up to pet affectionately pet his ear.

“Cat and mouse?  Is that what you-- ah...”  His eyes flutter closed, and he leans into your touch.  “Actually... keep doing that.”  

Just like that, Satan abandons his need to tease you, fingers slowly falling from your cheek, and he instead moves to curl up on the couch next to you, his head pillowed on your thigh.  It’s a rare moment -- you don’t think he’s ever laid down with his head in your lap before -- but it’s easy to comply to his request and continue scratching behind his ears.  They flick against your hand, the short fur tickling your palm, and you notice his tail curl around his waist.  

After a moment, you can feel Satan’s chest vibrating, and his hands are moving against the couch cushion.  He’s purring, actually purring!  But that’s not all.  

“Are you making biscuits?” you blurt, unable to keep the laughter out of your voice.

“What?  For breakfast?”

“Nevermind.”

You keep petting, and the purring starts up again.

Beel

“Are you scared of me?”

Your eyes widen at Beel’s somewhat timid query, and you shake your head.  “I’d never be scared of you.”

Beel’s eyes have a sad glaze as he frowns.  “That’s not true.  You looked scared when you ran away in the dining room, and that’s okay.  I was scared of myself, honestly.”

Reaching out, you touch Beel’s arm and catch his gaze.  “Okay, that was a little scary because I didn’t know what was happening.  But, I’m not scared of you right now.  I know you would never really hurt me.”

He doesn’t look reassured, but he shakes his head, swallowing back whatever is on his mind.  “All right.  Then why do you keep staring at me?”

“Oh, that?  Because you look cute like this... and I really want to touch your ears and tail,” you admit with a sheepish smile.  “They’re cute.”

“Oh.  Is that all?”  A relieved smile washes over his features, and he leans down, giving you better access to his ears.  “Go ahead.  I don’t mind.”

Grinning excitedly, you reach up and pet his ears, feeling them twitch beneath your touch.  “That kinda tickles,” Beel says with a light chuckle, and his tail swishes closer to you.  You turn your attention to it next, your palm stroking along it to the darker, bushy end.  The fur there is fluffy and soft, and as Beel watches you pet it, all traces of his previous apprehension disappear.  

“You look like you’re having fun.  I’m glad.”

“I’m always having fun when I’m with you, Beel,” you reply, beaming up at him.  His smile is gentle as he reaches up and pats your head, petting you just as you pet him.  

[crystalrose555]

Slap me, I dare you! pt.8

“Yup, definitely should have just let Luke bake me alive.” Marley muttered to herself.

Not that anyone would hear her since they were all bombarding her with questions and comments. In fact, each time she tried to answer, they would just sweep her voice aside with their loud side comments. Finally, after far too many words, the brothers finally calmed down enough to take in the situation.

“Alright, are we done now? Great, see ya.” Marley claimed quickly as she got up and started to walk briskly toward the edge of the table.

However, her path was blocked by a large hand which led to a questioning Satan.

“Hold on, after all the trouble you put us through with your disappearing act, you owe us an explanation, Marley.” He scolded.

“Yeah, like how did you end up here like this? And more importantly, who kidnapped you?” Levi asked lowly as his horns threatened to pop out.

Marley sighed heavily before turning around.

“No one kidnapped me. I asked Luke to take me to Purgatory hall until this wore off.” She answered flatly, motioning to herself.

“Ha! I knew that chihuahua had her!” Mammon yelled as he popped up behind his brothers, only to receive a wave of shushing from various library patrons.

“Mammon, shut your mouth.” Levi hissed.

The avatar of greed just pouted as his eyes gleamed at the tiny woman on the table.

“Woah, you’re downright puny, huh?” He pointed out as he tried to poke Marley.

Marley just simply swatted in his direction, sending a spark of lightning to singe and shock his finger. Mammon yelped as he pulled his hand away and licked his faint wound, the others, on the other hand, stared at the snorting Marley in awe.

“Marley, since when have you learned arc magic?” Satan asked.

“If you must know, Solomon has been teaching me.”

“What, why him? I could’ve taught you that!” Levi shrieked out.

Everyone looked at the third born who looked away as if to distance himself from his own words.

“You? Yeah, the last time you messed with lightning, you were flaking for a week.” Belphie pointed out.

“S-Shut up, I just have to grind a bit more and put my EXP in the proper stats, but that doesn’t matter. So come on, Marley, we don’t need these normies.” He claimed proudly as he stood up straight with his chest puffed out.

Levi then reached out, preparing to pick up the diminished selkie only for Belphie to slap away his hand.

“Levi, what makes you think that Marley wants you to take care of her?”

“What? You think a gross otaku like me can’t do it? For your information, all my Ruri-chan figurines are in pristine condition.”

Satan sighed.

“Marley’s a living creature, not plastic and resin. She needs someone who understands that.” He claimed as he motioned closer.

Asmo raised his eyebrow while Belphie chuckled rudely, grabbing Satan’s attention.

“Yeah, either a cat or one of your book piles is going to get her killed.” Belphie responded.

“And you think you can do better?” Satan sneered.

“Me? No, I would probably fall asleep on her. That’s why I think Beel should be the one.” Belphie smiled as he motioned to his grinning twin.

“I give it an hour before you’re fishin’ her out Beel’s stomach!” Mammon laughed.

“At least he isn’t going to sell her to some random witch to pay off his debt.”

“Oi, I’d get her back!”

“Wow, you’re not even going to deny it?!”

“Why? Y’all know what I’m about and it’s not like any of you are gonna believe me otherwise!”

The squabbling turned into a fully heated argument as Asmo and Beel watched from the sidelines. The fifth-born shook his head while the sixth stared at the top of a bookshelf. With a sigh, Asmo looked down at the table, preparing to snatch Marley away while the others were distracted but she was nowhere to be found. Asmo scanned the entire surface before turning to Beelzebub who was still staring high above him.

“Beel, Marley’s gone! Did you see where she went?” He cried quietly.

Beel simply pointed up to where Marley was making her way to the library entrance, scampering across the top of the bookshelves. Keeping her momentum, she cleared the treacherous gaps by floating across with her gown. Speechless, Asmo grabbed hold of Mammon and Levi before shaking them and directing everyone to Marley. The quarreling brothers grew wide-eyed as some of their jaws

“Oh my Diavolo, she’s pulling a Princess Pomegranate from Super Maria Sis!”

“Levi, now’s not the time! Marley, get back down here before you get hurt!” Satan called out quietly as he and his brothers followed her from below.

Marley paid them no mind, if she could just get to the hallway, she could lose them and find one of the Purgatory hall crew. Increasing her speed, she flung herself from one shelf top to another while the brothers fumbled over themselves, knocking over books and students alike just to keep up with her. A bookcase nearly toppled over only to be caught by a ready Beelzebub. The other students raised their eyebrows and muttered to one another, wondering why the lords of hell were chasing what looks like a mouse across the library. Marley cursed herself as she felt her body burning from the excess exercise, while she was unmatched in the water, running on land had always proven a challenge, especially over long distances.

“Dammit, I’m almost there.” She heaved out as she prepared to jump off the towering bookcase and head for the door that was within sight.

She leaped with all her might but instead of floating, her body felt heavier and was growing even more so. While all the brothers nearly shrieked, Marley just felt a bubbling deep inside herself that was unfamiliar and ticklish. Unaware of what was happening to her, she continued to fall to the floor which grew closer and closer. In fact, she reached the ground faster than expected as she landed with a hardy thud. She turned towards the brothers behind her with wide eyes that mirrored theirs.

There in the demons’ eyes stood their Marley, her skin and hair glimmering from the magical residue, at full size adorned in a ball gown of shimmering white petals. Levi felt his face turn bright red as every magical girl anime ran through his mind while his brothers had varying reactions from surprise to delight. They all locked eyes with Marley’s annoyed watery purple orbs only to be brought back to reality by the sound of several dropped books. As much as they hoped it was from the bookshelves they nearly toppled over, the source came from the countless students who had their eyes locked on the selkie whose appearance was practically begging to be noticed.

“Marley, whatever you do, don’t. Run.” Satan whispered slowly.

However, fighting her instincts was never Marley’s strong suit. In a flash, she bolted into the hallway with all her might, leaving the brothers to fight against the oncoming swarm of gossip-starved students stampeding out of the library.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Who are you?!”

“Where’d you come from!?”

“Are you dating anyone!?”

The flurry of questions flung from the mob of demonic students bolting after the panicked selkie down the hall. Frantically, Marley looked for any place to hide but each nook and cranny was filled with even more students who only joined the chase. What started as a small group grew to nearly half of the student body chasing after her and was growing larger by the second. Marley was losing her moxie as desperation grew inside her like a weed. Being chased by predators was one thing but this was on a whole new level. Looking over her shoulder, she could only see the piercing eyes of the devilish student body along with flailing arms and claws. Solomon told her demons are fueled by their desires and they could very well tear her apart from the sheer overwhelming curiosity.

“Leave me alone!” She screamed, creating a ice floor to deter her pursuers from following her.

The ice, however, was just crunched underneath the stomping feet of the mob. Her eyes widened as she looked forward and screamed profanities in the air. She didn’t want to hurt them, she just wanted to be left alone. Her mind raced back and forth, thinking about everything that led to this, from coming to Devildom in the first place all the way to the picture she posted on Diavolo’s Devilgram. The picture lingered the longest as her face darkened from the sheer anger and embarrassment. “God Dammit, it was just a stupid picture!!!” She shrieked at the top of her lungs as the mob grew more restless upon hearing her unintentional confession.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Dammit, why did she run off!? A legion of demons is always going to give chase if someone runs!” Satan yelled out as he huffed for breath.

“I can’t run anymore, I’m getting all sweaty and not in a fun way.” Asmo whined as his running turned into a lazy trot.

Levi just grabbed Asmo’s arm and pulled on it.

“Come on, we have to save my Henry!” He heaved out as he struggled to keep up with the group as well.

Belphie said nothing as his own body tried to flop on the floor from the sudden physical activity. Mammon growled underneath his breath as he heard his younger brothers whining.

“If y’all can’t keep up, then stop complain’ and go do somethin’ helpful!” He yelled back to his slower brothers.

“But we have to save my Henry from the jaws of death!”

“She ain’t gonna die! Besides, what's the worst they could do?” Mammon asked.

“Remember the last time Asmo held a private concert for his fan club?” Satan commented sternly.

“Oh, I remember that day, they were so excited that they couldn’t help swarming me like a bunch of cute bumblebees~”

“Asmo, they went crazy and ripped your clothes off! Barbatos had to break it up and your club was suspended for two months!”

“I know, and it was getting to the good part too. It’s not my fault I’m too beautiful~” Asmo pouted, leaving his brothers with concerned and annoyed faces.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hear me, O Wind, Hasten my step!”

Marley had been chanting this spell continuously to stay ahead of the rampaging mob. And to make matters worse, students were leaving their classes just to have a chance to grab her. Luckily, the spell helped her to dodge their unwanted embraces but she needed to figure out where she could possibly go if every class was a trap in waiting. She could feel the fatigue of spellcasting and running but she had no choice, she had to keep going. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to her, the students hadn’t gone completely insane from hype and were actually brewing a plan to catch her. With a series of group texts spreading through the school like wildfire, they managed to corral the speedy woman down the corridor where their plan would be executed.

Meanwhile, Marley considered running to Lucifer’s office for sanctuary but her stomach turned thinking about him never letting her forget it. Deep down, she rather be mobbed than give that man another reason to flaunt his ego. However, the cries and roars of the crowd behind her was crawling up her skin to the point where she could feel their grabby fingers. She shook her head and bolted down the hall, she bit her lips hard and cried out with all her might.

“Help me, anyone, help!!!”

To the legion of demons behind her, the woman they were chasing suddenly gave off a blinding flash of light that nearly stopped them in their tracks. By the time they got their sight back, Marley had already made a turn down a hallway. Seeing this, the mob divided into small search teams that spread out far and wide through RAD.

[mxtcha-tea]

Truly Greg

✎desc; haikyuu as Danny Gonzalez quotes (out of context)

✎pairing[s]; haikyuu x reader (platonic? romantic? who knows)

✎genre; crack

✎languange[s]; english

✎chef note; self explanatory (also using text type dividers cause this is gonna be so much)

✎warning; cursing, mentions of death, pulling out your organs (one time only), beating up someone, degrading and bad sex jokes(?)

Yamagata:"WHERE ARE THE GIRLS"

»»---------------------►

Atsumu:"What's up guys, I've finally escaped from the serial killer! My life's in serious jeopardy right now so make sure you smash that like button guys!"

»»---------------------►

Terushima:"Don't worry," *smirk* "We're the good guys ehehe—"

»»---------------------►

Daichi:"If we don't see anything in that basement, you better get your ass back in that house and you're gonna stop complaining, alright?!"

»»---------------------►

Hoshiumi:"FUCK THAT ALLIGATOR"

»»---------------------►

Tsukishima:"You fucking bitch. You think anyone could ever love you? YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING DIE BEFORE ANYONE LOVES YOU! NO ONE, WOULD EVER LOVE YOU. UGLY BABY, UGLY BABY!" *menacingly points at a child*

»»---------------------►

Ennoshita:"Basically, if you're not normal, you're gonna fucking suck at everything. You're not going to be able to do, all the other things people could do. Basically, what's gonna happen is that you're gonna lose at everything all the time and we're making this movie, to children, to introduce you to that harsh reality, right away"

»»---------------------►

Suga:"I have always dreamed about water, living in it, tasting it, BREATHING IT, LOVING IT, LOVING THE WATER—"

»»---------------------►

Konoha:"Holy shit, this room's small as hell. Hey, try not to be an anti social little bitch the whole time, alright?"

»»---------------------►

[y/n]:"Excuse me, can I go to the bathroom?"

The whole Shiratorizawa:*GASPS*

Yamagata:"WHAT THE FUCK—" *looking around in fear*

Semi:"The bathroom..?"

Kawanishi:"I haven't seen anyone gone to the bathroom in 15 years..."

Tendou:"Why would anyone go to the bathroom??"

Reon:"This doesn't make any sense!"

Goshiki:"Guys, my bones are getting squishy" *flailing his arms around*

»»---------------------►

Bokuto:"Akaashi, you forgot to pay the electricity bill again!" *trying to turn on the lights but missing everytime*

»»---------------------►

Kenma:"END THE SCENE, END IT NOW!"

»»---------------------►

Kiyoko:"Suga, she's trying to teach them on how to be ladies. Do not tell them about butts, ladies are not suppose to know about butts"

»»---------------------►

Mattsun:"Now, this is your side of the room. I've leave it completely untouched, I didn't go over your closet and smell your clothes and rub my bare butt all over your bed. So you don't have to worry about any of that"

»»---------------------►

Tendou:"Sex mode activated!" *spins with flashing lights around* "It's fucking time!"

»»---------------------►

Sakusa(?):"No girls, no parties and no fun. You're not allowed to date anyone while I make this app, [y/n]. You're mine, [y/n]"

»»---------------------►

Yamamoto:"THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL, KENMA! DON'T YOU GET IT?!" *runs towards Kenma and passive aggressively hold his shoulders* "THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL, THEY'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON I EVER SEEN! AND THEY DOES LAUNDRY, KENMA. THAT'S THE ONLY THING I KNOW ABOUT THEM, KENMA!"

»»---------------------►

Suna:"Okay, I'm gonna say the 'c' word, everybody ready? Commitment!"

Atsumu:"AGHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Osamu:"NO—

»»---------------------►

Asahi:"I hope this is a 'smooth' ride, ehehe..I just genuinely hope, that it is a smooth ride. And I don't know anything, that will lead me to believe, that it won't be"

»»---------------------►

Yaku:"[y/n]?? On an app?? Meeting people?? Nuh uh"

»»---------------------►

Bokuto:*standing while smiling at the camera*

Bokuto, a few minutes later:*started looking dripping af with a backward cap and sunglasses, cake getting bigger while still smiling at the camera*

Bokuto, in another few minutes later:*Is now a wizard with a big cake while still smiling at the camera*

»»---------------------►

Fukunaga:"Oh, look at this! Look at this lady getting shot right in front of me, that's kinda fun"

»»---------------------►

Oikawa:"Alright gang, let's punch this bitch" *started punching a bitch with rhythm* "And one! And two!"

Seijoh 3rd year and [y/n]:*doing the same* "And one! And two!"

»»---------------------►

Ushijima:"Bounce and have fun, I don't care. Yeah you found a trampoline, who gives a shit? Just bounce and have fun. You don't have to tell me everytime you found a bounce here"

»»---------------------►

Futakuchi:"Oh yeah daddy" *snickers* "Oh yeah daddy, chase me down the streets!"

»»---------------------►

Kuroo:"Come come everybody just come, JUST COME! Don't ask any questions, let's together bath"

»»---------------------►

Akagi:"Kechaw!"

»»---------------------►

Kyoutani:"Hey can I rip up your stomach and pull out your kidney?"

»»---------------------►

Aran:"Ah, I'm a busy businessman, gonna drink some water" *taking a sip*

Atsumu:*with his shirt half up* "I can suck your dick"

Aran:*chokes on water*

»»---------------------►

Inuoka:"Wait, that's not papa. Who the fuck is that? DID THEY GET RID OF PAPA?? DID THEY GET A DIVORCE OR SOMETHING?? YOU'RE NOT PAPA, WHERE'S PAPA???"

»»---------------------►

Semi:"Listen to this song, vibe it. Really, really dig on it, chew it, munch munch crunch it, throw it up, groove with it"

»»---------------------►

Noya:"[y/n]'s cooking me dinner? And now they're sitting??" *Laughs*

»»---------------------►

Lev:"Think you ain't beautiful? Stop that! Stop it right now! You think you're not beautiful?" *pauses while thinking* "Stop that!"

»»---------------------►

Koganegawa:"I will pay, 20 thousand yen, for whoever can find me [y/n]—"

»»---------------------►

Aone:"You beautiful, you strong, you healthy, you, good grades, handsome"

»»---------------------►

Makki:"Oh no! Oh, dammit! This really ruins my whole day! My friend breaking his neck and shit. Oh no..."

»»---------------------►

Kageyama:"GIVE ME THAT, FUCKING ICE CREAM"

»»---------------------►

Akaashi:"I was a perfectly frozen statue! Nothing could hurt me, I was basically in a coma! But then you kids had to come and touch me, and now I can't go two seconds without falling out of a wall and shattering into pieces. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be an egg? No, you've never been an egg in your life! Next time I shatter, can you just let me die? Don't get the horses and the men, don't get the rabbit or the mouse, just let me die, please"

»»---------------------►

Hinata:"Mmn, men's tea" *sipping tea with his pants on fire* "This is what I wanted"

»»---------------------►

Takehito:"Oh hey man, huh"

Kamasaki:*menacingly jogging towards him*

Takehito:"Hey dude! Good to see you" *waving his hand*

Kamasaki:*Keeps jogging*

Takehito:*smile slowly turns into a frown* "Oh no..."

Kamasaki:*grinning scarily at him while STILL jogging*

Takehito:"Oh, no, no, GOD NO, NO!"

Kamasaki:*pushes him and started punching him*

Takehito:"WHY???"

Kamasaki:*kept on punching* "You're my best, friend!"

»»---------------------►

Hirugami:"Hey dude, you really need to turn your life around. You're making everybody sad, watching you. You can stop that"

»»---------------------►

Kindaichi:"I'm gone, I'm GONE, I'M GONE"

»»---------------------►

Yamaguchi:"Alright, let's try onnnnn" *put the mirror in front of a figurine* "this guy" *holds it up*

[y/n]:*pops up in the scene*

*eerie music starts*

Yamaguchi:*smile flatters*

[y/n]:*looks at yamaguchi and stopped smiling* "You can see me..."

Yamaguchi:"...what?"

[y/n]:"You...you can see me" *points at themself*

Yamaguchi:*shaking slightly* "Who are you...?"

[y/n]:"Finally...."

Yamaguchi:"Huh..."

[y/n]:"FINALLY, I'M A REAL PERSON!—"

Yamaguchi:*puts the mirror down as the figurine turns back to normal* *sighs* *looks back at the camera* "It didn't work"

[moonlit-imagines]

Robin Hood

Jason Todd x reader

warnings: guns, knives

a/n: sorry this took so long! this gal has been off her game recently 😔💖

prompt: anonymous: “Can I request 43 & 78 for Jason Todd? If it's possible, something with the reader being some kind of theif or Robin Hood and saves him?? If not it's okay, love your writing”// 43: “We’ve never been this close without trying to stab each other.”, 78: “Were you going to tell me you had powers?”

A game of cat and mouse: Red Hood versus yourself. He didn’t particularly like you at the moment. I mean, I don’t think the two of you got off on the right foot. You did steal his motorcycle.

It had been a few weeks since then and he’d been trying to track you, but you weren’t that easy to catch. You didn’t exactly have a plan, you know? Just kind of snatched things up as you went and tried to help others in need.

Every once in a while Red Hood would catch up to you, but the motorcycle made a good getaway vehicle. Whoops. Tonight, not so much.

“Gotcha.” Red Hood cornered you in the alleyway that you parked your stolen motorbike.

“Dammit, I knew I should’ve picked a different alley.” You groaned and stood your ground while the fellow vigilante slowly stepped closer to you, doing tricks with a knife in his hand. “Is that supposed to be scary?”

“No, this is.” He pulled his gun out with the other hand and pointed it towards your chest and you rolled your eyes, lifting your hands up. “Ah, there we go.”

“Fuck you, Hood.” You huffed and stiffened as he got closer, but flinched at the sound of an explosion nearby. “What the hell was that?”

“How should I know?” He shoved his gun back into its holster and knife into his pocket. “Give me my keys, I need to check it out.”

“Only if you bring me.” You spun the keys around your finger and he groaned.

“No.” He replied.

“Then no keys.” You smiled and waited for him to make a tough decision. Ultimately, he made the right one by welcoming you onto the back of his bike. He refused to speak to you, though. “Are you mad? Hm?” You poked his side while you wrapped your arm around his waist and he snagged the keys from you.

Riding a motorcycle with him in control was exhilarating. He rode like he had no fear at all. Red Hood sped down the uneven roads of Gotham City, his turns drifted the bike, making you cling onto him tighter, hoping he didn’t notice. He did.

“You know, we’ve never been this close without trying to stab each other.” You told him as he slowed down in front of the fiery building and pulled the kickstand down.

“Don’t get too comfortable, sweetheart.” He turned off the motor and waited for you to dismount, you could barely feel your legs when you got off.

“Who do you think is responsible for this?” You asked, stepping closer to the blaze.

“How should I know? It’s Gotham.” Red Hood shoved you aside, which was pretty unnecessary, and investigated the outside of the building.

“Well, detective, you should consider letting me participate in this mess, I may be of some use.” You marched past him and straight into the flames, pushing them out of your way while he watched in both pleasure and shock. For a moment, he wished you were hurt. “Are you coming or not? I promise I won’t let you get burned.”

“Were you going to tell me you had powers?” He chased after you to catch up and placed a hand on your shoulder so he wouldn’t lose you.

“I have powers.” You smugly replied and peered back to the puzzled vigilante. “Hope that mask can stand the smoke.”

“Wait, stop right here.” He tapped your shoulder and pointed to the floor so you could clear the flames for him to grab a piece of evidence.

“What? What’s that?” You asked while he leaned down and brushed the ashes from it. It was a gun, pretty odd looking gun if you ask me. “Okay, so it’s a gun. Why would an arsonist need a gun?”

“Because we’re not dealing with a typical arsonist.” Red Hood pulled the trigger and a singed red flag popped out of the barrel, reading “BANG!” in all caps.

“Oh, no. No, no. I am not getting involved with the Joker, nope!” You stormed out of the building, forcing Red Hood to follow you out so that he didn’t get burnt to a crisp.

“Come on, y/v/n! You’d be a valuable asset to my operation, Joker sets a lot of fires.” The Red Hood uncharacteristically begged you to join him, but you weren’t having it. You just kept walking, it was time to loot some more, anyways. “Stop, come back, I’m serious!”

“No can do, Red.” You replied and felt his strong grip on your bicep, pulling you back to him. “I said ‘no.’”

“I need your help. I gotta take the Joker down, it’s become personal.” He got real serious with you, lifting his helmet to show you his masked eyes. You wanted to laugh at the second mask, but this seemed like the wrong time. “I’ll get you your own motorcycle.”

“Damn, you got me there.” You crossed your arms and shook your head. “Take me the hell home.”

“Where is ‘home?’” He scrunched his eyebrows.

“Uh, dumpster next to the theater.” You smiled and batted your eyes, but he just shook his head at you.

“You can stay at my apartment.” He motioned you to follow him back to the motorcycle.

“Huh? You trust me just like that?” There had to be strings attached here, you didn’t get it.

“You didn’t let me burn in there, you can’t be that bad.”

[mallowstep]

Primrose AU where Bramble pinned Prim.

Goldenflower: *she gathers her kit to her, speaking softly as Stonefur leads Primrosepaw, Feathertail, and the still rather alert Mistyfoot to the medicine den.* "My little kit. I know you didn't mean any harm...but what has happened to them has traumatized them. Mistyfoot...Primrosepaw is her only surviving kit, My Stormling. Tigerstar...." *she looks away, before licking her son's forehead.* "Primrosepaw didn't see you when you brought Mistyfoot that mouse...it's trauma--remember how you were terrified of leaving my side after the fire, and had nightmares? Sometimes when the trauma is so bad....the nightmares come while the cat is awake. Primrosepaw....she had an awake nightmare. You weren't my precious Leafling, but.....the cat that hurt her mother. When you pinned Primrosepaw down--Mistyfoot...she had a awake nightmare as well. You saw Primrosepaw's paw." *she stops, bringing her son closer and trying to protect him.* "He probably made her watch, Bramble." *she informs her son, voice soft.* "And a mother's love is a powerful thing. It wasn't you she was targeting, Bramble." *she murmurs, her kit nearly buried into her chest.* "You can sleep with me tonight. The others won't mind."

aw man what a nice little fluffy bit to end the night with.

(there's like a 15% chance i don't go to bed after this but i'm Trying)

anyway kl;dsldfja; what's better than cats knowing about things. (stonefur and mudfur re. misty au 'bout to invent therapy i stg)

god,,,goldenflower,,,what a good mom

i am ending tonight with Fluff dammit but someone remind me to talk about goldenflower angst potential tomorrow. you know how she watches a cat she knew and loved for what was good about him hurt so many so deeply

anyway. i swear tonight ends with fluff.

i think stormpaw and bramblepaw talk a lot.

("D'you think they knew Tawnypaw?" Bramblepaw asks. It's such a selfish question, one he can't ask them, but he misses his sister. At least when she was here, he wasn't so alone.

Stormpaw's tail swings over his nose. "It's not like anyone ever tells me anything.")

but ohhhh goldenflower,,,, what a mom.

("I scared them," he says, and her heart breaks. She wants to say, you didn't, love, but it's a lie, and they both know it.

"Your--" She halts, not sure of what to say. "You didn't do anything wrong," she says. "You were trying to do something kind." Bramblepaw shifts, and she licks the top of his head. "I wish -- I know it isn't easy," she says. "I wish I could take this from you, love."

"She thought I was going to hurt them."

Goldenflower purrs, wrapping her tail around him. "Sometimes, when -- someone hasn't had any kindness, they forget that cats can be kind. But -- you still did something nice.")

god i love her.

[trashyswitch]

The Eeeevil Swift Fox

Jeremy had only just started this night. And already, Foxy was pulling his signature sprinting move. But what Jeremy DIDN'T anticipate, was what would happen when he's caught...

This was requested by @fivecoins! Hope you like it!

Jeremy's circular light from the flashlight was shaking as he held it. His anxiety was causing him to shake. Everything in his mind was telling him NOT to go to work today. But of course, Jeremy ignored his usual gut feeling and landed himself into yet another night of anxiety and potential PTSD. Was he going to die tonight? He sure hoped not. Was he going to get hurt? Maybe. Was he going to get jump-scared by the animatronics? Jeremy looked at the cameras...

...Most likely.

Jeremy sighed and put down the tablet, to look in the bottom vents on the side. Looks like there's nothing. He looked at the front vent: also nothing. Jeremy attempted to calm himself down by breathing and looking at the cameras again. He had flipped to the 6th camera, when a loud screeching noise could be heard! Suddenly, Jeremy let out a yelp as he was tackled to the ground by something big. Jeremy yelped loudly as the tablet fell onto his face, and the feeling of something heavy was laying on him. Suddenly, that heavy thing started moving, and quickly picked him up. The tablet went falling onto the ground, and his hat went flying off his head as well. It didn't take long for his eyes to gain better focus, to figure out who had caught him.

The face was red, and the one eye had an eye patch covering it. A couple pairs of teeth could be seen within the snout, and the face looked to be resembling the general shape of a fox! Jeremy gasped and quickly started shouting! All of his fight or flight signs began taking over all at once. He pushed as hard as he could against the hand, he wiggled and squirmed to get out of his grip, and he attempted to kick the fox wherever he could.

"Whoa! Look at what we've got here! Another security guard! And much more fearful than the last one." Foxy declared. Jeremy only continued to squirm, shout and kick like his life depended on it. Well...to Jeremy, his life DID depend on it! "Interesting...You have thick hair compared to the last one. And a bit shorter! Your uniform is a little different too. And your name tag..." Foxy used his hook to look at the yellow name tag. "Jeremy! I like it! Jeremy the scared security guard." Foxy reacted, poking him on the chest with the arched top of his hook.

Jeremy grabbed onto the hook. "Hey!" Foxy yelled, pulling the hook out of his hand. "Don't mess with my hook! What are ya trying to do? Pull it off me?" Foxy yelled, hitting Jeremy on the head with the back of the hook. Jeremy yelped and grabbed it out of instinct. Foxy, not wanting his hook to be touched by the guard, pulled his hook back. Only, the security guard refused to let go and wounded up a few feet off the floor, hanging onto the hook with his hands above his head. Foxy growled. "Oi! What's the big idea?" Foxy asked, growing annoyed. He groaned to himself as he started rubbing his chin. But looking at Jeremy's armpit gave him an idea rather fast.

Foxy smirked as he reached his hand out towards the guard. "Are you ticklish?" Foxy asked, before lightly scratching Jeremy's left armpit.

Jeremy squealed and threw his head back. "NO! PLEASE NO!" Jeremy yelled, pulling himself up slightly to try and cover up his armpit slightly. But the metal fingers brought themselves under the arm and dug in again! "NOHOHOHOHO! STAHAP!" Jeremy yelled.

"Are you going to let go? Or fight it?" Foxy asked.

"TIHIHICKLIHING DOHOESN'T STAHAHAP MEHE!" Jeremy yelled at him.

"There's no need to yell, I hope you know that. I'm right here." Foxy reminded him. Then, Foxy moved his hand to Jeremy's other armpit and started tickling.

Jeremy squeaked and finally stopped doing the pull-ups. Now he was just giggling, kicking and holding onto the hook for dear life while his right armpit was tickled to oblivion. "Fohohohohoxyhyhyhyhy! Nohohoho tihihihicklihihihing!" Jeremy told him through his giggles.

"But tickling is so fun! And you my friend..." Foxy told him, before lifting him up higher so he could see the man at eye level. "...have been visited by the ULTIMATE TICKLE MONSTER OF THE PIZZERIA!" Foxy declared proudly.

Jeremy whined in horror as he realized his fate. The security guard kicked his feet harder, in an attempt to stop the fox from tickling his exposed armpits. But this only resulted in Foxy grabbing the kicking foot. Jeremy yelped and started tugging, but ended up letting go of the hook and sending himself falling upside down.

Now the security guard was slightly swinging upside down, and facing away from Foxy! Now that just won't due! So Foxy picked Jeremy up by his shoe, and quickly turned him around to look at the guard face-to-face. Then, he grabbed the ankle again with his left hand and started removing the shoe with his hook.

"What are you- FOXY, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT REMOVING THA-" Jeremy was interrupted by the sound of a work shoe bouncing itself onto the floor below. "...Dammit..." Jeremy muttered.

Foxy chuckled at Jeremy's reaction and started lightly dragging his hook up and down the foot. "Why not? You don't happen to have a ticklish foot, do you?" Foxy teased. Jeremy quickly covered up a yelp with his hand, and squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to stop his laughter from coming out. "Ooooh! Being stubborn, now are we? I wonder...can stubbornness keep a human from breathing properly?" Foxy asked. He moved his hook to the ball of Jeremy's foot. "...Probably for a bit. But can stubbornness save you from exposing your adorable laughter to me?" Foxy further asked. Jeremy shook his head helplessly as the giggles in his lungs made his body convulse.

Finally, after a good 5 minutes of nonstop tickling and no laughter, Jeremy squealed and let out all the laughter built up in his system. "NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHOHOHO! CUHUHUHUT IHIT OHOHOHOUT! IHIHI DOHOHOHON'T NEHEHEED THIHIHIS!" Jeremy yelled through his laughter.

"Wow! What do ya know? The man CAN laugh! That, my sir, blows my mind!" Foxy reacted dramatically. "Now: what other laughs do you have?" Foxy asked. He brought his dull hook towards the toes and wiggled them under and in between Jeremy's toes.

"EEEEEEEEEEK! NAHAHAHAT THEHEHEHEHERE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOHOHO TOHOHOHOES! NOHOHOT MYHY TOHOHOHOHOES!" Jeremy laughed, throwing his arms everywhere he could.

"But your toes are so tiny! And I gotta say: very well groomed! Do you get pedicures?" Foxy asked.

Jeremy facepalmed himself in embarrassment and outrage. "WHAHAHAHAT?! NOHOHOHO! PEHEHEDICUHUHUHURES AHARE FOHOHOHOR GIHIHIRLS!" Jeremy yelled.

"Since when? Why can't pedicures be for men as well? If I were a human, I would get my feet pedicured as much as possible!" Foxy declared.

Jeremy laughed at both the tickling on his feet, and at the irony of Foxy's personality. Foxy was built to look like a dirty, obsessed, sea-riding pirate! But his personality was incredibly preppy and almost feminine! HOW?!

"OHOHOKAHAHAY, YOHOHOU CAN STAHAP NOHOHOW!" Jeremy told him.

Foxy stopped his hook, lifted Jeremy up higher and looked at him with a single narrowed eye. "Since when could you tell me what to do?" Foxy asked him, sounding almost offended.

Jeremy's laughter began to calm down little by little. He had an uncontrollable smile plastered on his face, that just couldn't be wiped off no matter how much he tried. The tickling was most certainly the cause of it. While Jeremy was calming down, Foxy was trying to see where else to tickle the man. He wasn't done his spree quite yet, and he wanted to take advantage of the time he had left. And looking at the falling shirt was giving Foxy an idea...

Foxy gave Jeremy's belly a poke. "EEEP!...Uh-OH!" Jeremy shrieked, pulling his shirt down to cover up his stomach.

But Foxy wanted to test it out more. So, he tried scratching his hook on the right side of his shirt-covered side. Jeremy yelped and reached his hands out to the right to stop it. But Foxy was planning! Foxy's hook came flying over to the left side, and tickled it too. To keep the human on his toes, Foxy kept tickling and switching sides! No matter where Jeremy reached to stop it, the hook was already a step ahead and tickling his other side. Jeremy was rocking back and forth frantically, struggling to get away from the moving hook.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! GEHEHEHET AWAHAHAYHYHYHYHYHY!" Jeremy yelled.

"Here, let's compromise: instead of me moving my hook away, can you move your hands away so I can reach your belly?" Foxy asked.

"THAHAHAT'S NOHOHOHO COHOHOMPROHOMIHIHIHISE!" Jeremy protested.

"I'll have you know it is a compromise when I SAY it's a compromise! Now move your hands!" Foxy ordered and pushed his hands aside. As soon as the little dot on his belly was exposed and within range, Foxy dipped the dull point of the hook into Jeremy's belly button.

"Boop! IIIIII've gotcha!" Foxy declared proudly. Jeremy screamed very high-pitched and covered his face. Foxy smirked and leaned himself towards Jeremy's face. "What's wrong, Jeremy? Ticklish belly button?" Foxy asked, wiggling the hook a little to lightly scratch the navel. Jeremy yipped and squeaked as the giggly tickle spot was poked and tweaked. "I gotta say: You're starting to sound less like a human, and more like a mouse or a chipmunk!" Foxy reacted. Jeremy shook his head as a muffled high-pitched giggle left his mouth. "You wouldn't happen to be related to the Chipmunks, would you?" Foxy asked.

Finally, Jeremy's pent up giggles exploded out of his lungs. "BAAAAaahehehehehehehehe! Nohohoho bellyyyyyhyhyhyhyhyhyhyhy!" Jeremy begged through his giggles.

Foxy's one eye widened in surprise. "Aaaahahahawwww! Thihis is so precious!! I don't think I realized just how adorable you can become, Jeremy!" Foxy cooed.

Jeremy's body, along with his giggles, began to almost melt from how flustered he was getting. He felt like he had just snorted up a bunch of sugar. It felt like a sugar high of some kind! He felt...loopy and overly happy. But why?! "Whahahahat ahare yohou dohohoihihing toho mehehehe?!" Jeremy asked, believing Foxy was somehow causing it.

"I'm tickling you, of course! I thought you knew?" Foxy replied.

Jeremy only grew more and more flustered the longer the fox talked to him. He began to grow confused and slightly frustrated by the state he was in. He started flapping his arms around. "STAHAHAP MAHAHAKIHING MEHEHEHE FLUHUHUHUSTEHEHEHERED!" Jeremy begged, throwing his fists around in midair.

"Awwww! Is de widdle human gwowing fwustered? Does de poor boy need more love?" Foxy cooed.

"NOOOOOOOOHOHOHO!" Jeremy begged.

"I think he does! I think he needs more tickles from the big bad tickle monster!" Foxy teased. Then, Foxy paused his tickles and flipped him the right way again. With a new grip on Jeremy, Foxy started tickling around Jeremy's belly button.

"Nohohohohoho! Nahahahahat ahahagahahahahain! Yohohohou're sohohohoho weheheheird!" Jeremy giggled, squirming and struggling to cover up his belly.

Foxy stopped his tickling and looked at him, confused and almost offended. "...Excuse me?" Foxy asked.

Jeremy's giggles began to die down and become breathy. He looked up, and noticed Foxy's face. "W-Whahat?" Jeremy asked.

"Did you just call me weird?" Foxy asked.

Jeremy looked around and looked back at Foxy. "Yeheheah? Ahare you hurt byhy that?" Jeremy asked, feeling like he messed up and actually hurt his feelings.

"Hurt?" Foxy clarified. "Hurt?!" Foxy yelled. He placed his hook sideways onto his chest in heartbroken offense. "I'm more than hurt! I am HORRIFIED!" Foxy yelled with a non-serious smile perking up on his lips. Jeremy giggled at the smile as it told Jeremy that Foxy was just being further playful. "How DARE you call me weird! What could possibly be weird about THIS, SEXY BODY?!" Foxy asked, waving at himself to show off his 'pristine' body. "Like, listen to me Jeremy. I've got silver legs, a pop-up patch, and the PERFECT, pirate body for the business." Foxy stated proudly, praising himself in front of Jeremy to both annoy him and make him laugh. "Oh! and did I even MENTION this hook?" Foxy asked.

Jeremy couldn't help but giggle at how feminine and self-obsessive he was being, right in front of him. "Nohoho, yohou didn't." Jeremy replied.

Foxy readied his hook for close examination. He brought the hook close enough to Jeremy, so he could see the slightly rusty details. "This hook..." He paused to look at it. "This hook right here...is the perfect tool for tickling." Foxy told him. Jeremy's giggles only increased once the word was spoken. Foxy pointed to him with the very hook. "See? I don't even need to tickle you with it, in order to make you laugh! You're already laughing just from me describing it!" Foxy teased. "You see? That's what I like about this thing." He concluded.

Jeremy's face was growing more and more red the longer the fox spoke. "Wanna know another thing I love about this hook?" Foxy asked. Jeremy nodded his head in reply. Foxy re-positioned himself to lean on his left hip, while he resumed his speech about his fabulous hook. "It's dull, meaning I can't scratch a human or cause them harm. But the hook's point is also thin..." Foxy explained.

Foxy moved his hook down and lifted up Jeremy's shirt to expose the belly button once again. With the belly button in his range, Foxy smirked and started lightly scratching his belly. "EEEEEEEEK! Dohohohohohohon't! Hahahahahahahaha!" Jeremy giggled.

"...Meaning my hook can fit in the tightest spaces!" Foxy resumed his speech. "Including..." Foxy swirled the end of his hook right towards the little hole in the middle. "The belly button!" Foxy declared, swirling the hook around inside the belly button.

"OHOHOhohohohokahahahahahay! Fohohohoxyhyhyhy, plehehehehehease! Cuhuhuhuhut ihihihit ohohohohohohuhut!" Jeremy fell into fits of giggles yet again. The giggles were quiet, yet super quick. Even if he tried to stop his giggles, he just can't find a breaking point for his giggles! And even if he could, another huge fit of giggles would start right back up again and ruin his fighting chance. There was just no getting away from the evil tickle pirate.

"But you see: For a proper speech to be perfect, there needs to be some proof to pull it off! So what a better way to prove it, than to try the tickle tool out on YOUR ticklish tum-tum!" Foxy suggested.

"Nohohohohohohohoho! Ihihihihit tihihicklehehehehes sohohoho muhuhuhuhuch!" Jeremy giggled.

"Well of COURSE it does! It's not called 'the perfect tickle tool' for nothin'!" Foxy replied proudly.

Jeremy covered his face with his hands as his belly button was attacked. He couldn't handle it anymore. The ironic part was, the teasing wasn't being directed towards him! It was subtle! Third-person! A constant description of the tool that was being used to tickle the young man! Jeremy's squirming and fighting began to weaken from the tickling, and his laughter started to grow breathy without the need to lessen the tickles. He was growing physically tired and needed to breath. Foxy had managed to forget that humans needed to breath. It was hard trying to make up for the human's fragile body, when you don't live the fragile life yourself.

So, Foxy stopped tickling him and gave him a long break. Jeremy's giggles grew less giggly and even more breathy in a few minutes or less. Foxy carefully placed Jeremy into the chair, and sat back. "Are you okay?" Foxy asked.

Jeremy only fell into more laughter from the question alone. He gave Foxy the 'Great' sign to calm his robotic nerves, and allowed his arm to just fall right onto his leg. "Yohohou...ahare vehery gohohohood ahat that." Jeremy told him, still slightly giggly.

"At what? Tickling?" Foxy asked.

"Yeheheheah...T-Ticklihing." Jeremy replied.

Foxy gasped and smiled happily, showing off his big animatronic teeth to the human. He cheered to himself and threw his arms up in the air at a job well done.

Yes indeed...Foxy really was, the ultimate tickle monster.

[eleanor-devil]

Boruto: Sacrifices [Remade] | Chap.7 - Outsider

Written by: Eleanor-Devil & @mirage-05​​

Prologue | Chap.1 | Chap.2 | Chap.3 | Chap.4 | Chap.5 | Chap.6 | Chap.7 - You’re here

Hiding behind a tree, Mitsuki was reaching out with his senses to check out the ninjas as he quickly controlled his weapons. Not that he needed to, not really… Any of his classmates’ would pale in comparison to how huge an arsenal he had, but it was always better to do a second check. All was good. His weapons were still enough to take down a troop. And the blue haired boy was calm, collected… he had mastered his ninjutsu well enough to hold his own against even jounins. He had proven so before. Whatever his father had pounded into his system, it was working in perfect order. He felt them coming to a halt before the footsteps stopped. “Now would be a good time to start.” a blond man said, seemingly the leader. “Alright, all of you know what to do,” he began. “Hideyoshi will go up front, giving us our targets and warning us, should anyone of a particularly high level of chakra cross our path. I and Takeru are the main offensive, we follow suit. Hiraku… stay as far away from the battleground as possible, remember our formation, wait for my signal. Scatter, we don’t follow the linear formation, just watch out for the signals we talked about. Any questions?” “Just one thing…” the mahogany-haired man replied in a gruff voice, his eyes gazing upwards at the tree branches. “We are not alone.”

Mitsuki felt his body tense hearing it, damn, they had a sensor with them… this would give some disadvantage in his surprise plan. He reached inside his kimono and pulled out a kunai, he was more than ready to throw it, but he glanced down and saw which kunai it was. It was one of those Konohamaru had gifted his team after their first C-ranked mission. It looked like an ordinary kunai on the outside, a simple weapon that just had a ribbon with the student’s respective color, blue in his case, attached to it. But this wasn’t just an ordinary one, no… their sensei had said this kunai had been designed to have one jutsu inserted inside it; somehow like the kote Boruto used in the exams. Mitsuki gripped it hard, he would wait for the perfect moment to use it. “I will make you proud, sensei…” Everyone in the squad had tensed suddenly. “Where?” the leader asked, unconsciously leaning a little forward in an attack stance. “How strong?” The sensor furrowed his brows, concern apparent on his features as his fingers trailed over the surface of a weapon attached to a strap on his back. “Pretty damn strong… and I’m only talking about one person. I’d say… kage level, even.” The tension was now so apparent that it was almost tangible. “Damn it…” the leader hissed between gritted teeth, they didn’t expect to encounter someone this powerful right out of the top… A scout? It could’ve made sense with how strong this person supposedly was, but wouldn’t he run away to inform the village by now…? “What do we do?” the platinum blond haired man that was standing close to him asked. Their leader, Goro, was silent for a moment… but then a wicked grin formed on his face… well… shouldn’t this be fun? They could test out their abilities on someone who was possibly kage-level, close to the man they wanted to kill… “Shall we go greet them?” “Playing cat and mouse again?” “Well, no one knows me better than you do, Hiraku,” the man said, smirking. A minute passed in silence as only the sounds of nature were heard around them. “Huh.” the brunette in the group finally said. “It would seem that someone needs an incentive. Tell me, Goro, what was that ninjutsu of yours capable of doing in direct contact?” Catching up to what he was trying to do, the blond was quick to come up with his own. “That was this technique improvised. In direct contact with the neck area… well, let’s just say that the head pops out quicker than a can ring. It’s much like the previous Raikage’s lariat. That’s what I’m gonna use on the hokage.” There was a rustle above, and then silence again. “That’s right… show yourself…” Goro muttered, his smirk growing. Seconds ticked away, with no new move from either side. “Why don’t you go in hiding, sweet cheeks?” Goro told the woman. “That bastard not seeing you might work to our advantage.” The woman glared at him for the briefest of seconds, but did as she was told. “Well,” the man continued nonchalantly, raising his voice. “I suppose, whoever you are, you just don’t care enough to come out and face us. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have a village to ransack and some kage to kill.” They heard another rustle and Hideyoshi threw his first arrow in that direction… only to be met with an explosion of snakes. And fast as the speed of lightning, snakes stroke from above, one of the bigger ones going for Goro’s head. The brunette, Takeru, took out a barrage of kunais and with the help of his wind technique, took down the snakes in one swipe. They disappeared in a cloud of smoke. “Leave this to me,” he said with a smirk, reaching for his belt to take another blade, this one looked longer and sharper than the others. “I will take care of our visuals first and then force him to come out.” “He’s moving fast,” the mahogany haired man all but grumbled and another arrow rang out before Hideyoshi quickly changed his position. Goro touched the two identical hilts that were strapped to his back… the deadly blades that could be activated by chakra… but no, there was still time for it. Now was the time to tire the stronger opponent out. “Scatter and find him, no matter how.” the wicked grin was still there as his hand left the blades, assuring them mentally that they would soon have a taste of delicious chakra. “Now we begin our first hunt.” … Mitsuki moved from branch to branch, tree to tree, extremely fast; he had always been the fastest in his class, practically no one could beat him in his quick moves. No one other than Boruto; after their field trip to Kirigakure the Uzumaki had clearly improved his speed, living to the expectations of being the grandson of the Yellow Flash. The boy’s senses, however, were on high alert, there was one of those attackers who was fast too. As Mitsuki was making up a plan to lead them to the border, Takeru jumped ahead of him on a branch, forcing him to suddenly halt right there on his spot. “Knock knock,” the man said with a smirk. Mitsuki didn’t think. His mind had already succumbed into combat mode the moment he saw the man, exactly like how he was taught. Quickly completing the hand seals, he spread his hands in a crescent motion. “Fuuton: Kamaitachi.” Takeru’s confusion upon seeing who they were chasing, the person who had kage-level chakra resources was… just a kid… faded away and left in its place seething fury upon noticing the kid’s attack. What the hell?! A kid?! A fucking child without even a fucking headband?! Was this a goddamn joke?! Growling, he himself made quick hand seals and created a strong gust of wind to counter the wind scythe. Blue eyes met golden ones as they both stood their ground, the air blasting around them. Two could play that game if that was what this brat wanted. Not waiting for the wind to completely die down, the jounin threw one of his special kunais with precision, aiming directly at the boy’s heart, in an attempt to test his opponent. Mitsuki’s eyes were already on the weapon, he had been trained on similar attacks, there was no way he was going to let a kunai end him like that. Before the kunai could even hit the point the boy was, he moved out of the way as fast as lightning and when Takeru looked up, the blue haired boy was jumping on him with a snake morphing in the place of his arm. ‘Just what the hell is he?!’ Takeru thought. “Sen’ci Jashu,” the boy muttered as the snakes jumped towards the brunet. As he moved right above the man, Mitsuki took the chance to analyze the enemy. The man had cleverly hidden it beneath his clothing but he still had a split second to see the glint of a headband. The technique he saw the boy use almost made Takeru freeze - but he was quick to snap out of it and used the air currents to push himself away. One of the snakes’ fangs had grazed his hand, though, and it hurt. He balanced himself on a tree trunk on his feet and quickly flipped the bottom of a kunai open, reaching for the ointment inside. In a minute, the stinging from the bite had faded. He looked up in time to see Goro using one of his fire techniques on the boy, forcing the brat to redirect his attention. Snakes…? From the old legends he used to listen, that kind of technique brought an old fear to his mind… Mitsuki, on the other hand, quickly made new hand signs, now it was two against one in close combat… he had to be even faster than them both in thought and moves. An idea crossed his mind as his chest filled with large amounts of air and he let it all out. “Fuuton: Toppa!” As he did that, he jumped above Goro and used the wind against the fire the man was spitting from his mouth. The speed of the wind was so much that it made the fire change route against its will, moving towards Takeru and the trees closest to him. “Goro, watch it dammit!!” the brunet cursed as he attempted to move away from the now burning trees. It was a good thing he was functioning well under hard circumstances - otherwise there would be no way this inferno wouldn’t be seen by the village. That brat was either too clever or too damn lucky. The leader himself swore loudly as he quickly created two shadow clones. This person was good… damn good. He didn’t want to use the swords so soon. If they got out of control… Takeru landed next to him, searching the tops of the trees. Before he could even open his mouth, Goro stepped in. “Do whatever it takes to finish that guy.” “Boy.” the brunet replied curtly, and his tone was full of hatred and disgust. “Boy?” Goro’s eyebrows flew in surprise. Now, that was unexpected… to put it mildly. “Brat shouldn’t even be older than thirteen. Came to play ninja…” “That brat who came to play ninja just almost roasted you.” the blond’s tone was unimpressed. “No thanks to you!” Takeru almost spat out, rounding on him. “Why don’t you stop playing with fire and bring out the big guns?” “All in good time. Tire him out first, and then my babies can do their job. In any case, we can’t let him escape now that he has the chance to spoil our surprise. We have to finish him here before moving on to the village.” He felt the clones’ defeat as their memories rushed back to him, and he nudged his comrade, pointing at a direction to the far left of them. “There, get moving!” As he said it, they heard the twang of another arrow. Hideyoshi wasn’t being hot-headed like his two comrades, he had always been calm and collected in the battlefield, it was something he had learned due to years of experience. Being hot-headed and blood-lusted would only bring dismay on his side sooner or later. He focused on the person’s chakra. There! He threw an arrow but it only hit a tree, his amber eyes saw the quick shadow move to another place. Hideyoshi needed another plan or soon he wouldn’t have any arrows left and his only chance would be to go collecting them one by one. He focused again but the person was nowhere to be seen… had they escaped? No… whoever this person with immense chakra was, wouldn’t abandon a battlefield just like that. However, before he could even realize, a pair of long, elastic arms wrapped around him, breaking the ground right below him. How had he not seen that?! Before he knew it he was pulled right down into the earth, and something snapped… his bow, most likely, due to the sudden shifting. Sharp pieces stabbed into his arms and legs, effectively immobilizing him. Hideyoshi almost grunted out in pain… but that was when he finally saw the figure in front of his eyes. Panic shot up inside him and he quickly yelled out, “Wait!” His heart skipped a beat and he felt his breath hitching as he saw the enemy was... only a child… probably even younger than his own son? True, his chakra flared up like a supernova but the mahogany haired man knew it wouldn’t matter… not with the kind of power Goro had… if anything, this kid was walking right into a trap! “Kid, don’t do this!” he yelled desperately. “They are going to kill you!” Now it was Mitsuki’s turn to get baffled. This man cared? Why would he care about his own enemy? His father had always taught him that he shouldn’t show mercy for his enemy, for they wouldn’t show mercy for him either, but yet here it was, he was crying out for him not to continue. “The reinforcements are coming.” he stated simply, it was a fact, he had calculated the time in his mind. He had sent the message about five minutes ago, they weren’t that far away from the border. By this time, the message should’ve reached Lord Seventh. “No, you don’t understand, there is-!” but before he could even finish, Mitsuki had already turned his back on him and flew right away from his sight. “Kid no!!” He attempted to get out of the hole but the pieces of his broken bow stuck in his flesh were making this task impossible. “Seriously? You got caught by a kid?” he heard the mockery yet annoyance in Takeru’s voice as the man stepped out of the shadows. “Damnit, stop this!” Hideyoshi pretty much hissed between gritted teeth, looking up at the younger man with fury in his eyes. “You know what Goro is capable of, that is just a kid!” Takeru’s expression didn’t change. “So what? That runt is not gonna get it easy.” He twirled his kunai in his hand. “Maybe I will manage to get a piece out of it myself. Now hurry up and get your ass out there!” With that, he was gone too. Hideyoshi tried once again desperately to move, to do something… to no avail. … Mitsuki decided it was time to use the kunai his sensei had given to him. He had implemented his lightning jutsu inside the kunai and had just finished making about two more snake clones; this was going to take lots of chakra from him but hopefully it would take down who seemed to be the leader of this group; and if he had any luck, that fast man too. The clones were in position, surrounding the space Goro was spreading his own lightning attack. Mitsuki quickly made the hand signs. Clap hands - monkey. The clones copied him. “Raiton: Hebi Mikazuchi!” he muttered, low. And suddenly the circle he, his clones and the kunai he had placed on the top of a tree all activated the snake shaped lightning, moving fast towards Goro. Lightning, huh…? And a pretty unique technique too… well, maybe it was time to put all his best in it too… Reaching for the hilts strapped to his back, Goro put chakra in them and felt the blades flare up, bright blue and white. He looked up at the lightning snake, ready to meet it head on… it wasn’t like there was any other choice. “Raiton: Raiha!” he cried out before swinging the sword in one huge swipe, hitting the snake from its head. The blades hummed loudly with the chakra they pulled out of the jutsu… Goro could feel their excitement… it made him excited as well… “Let the real party begin!” Both lightning jutsus clashed, creating a large explosion in the area. Mitsuki had gone in hiding, already having predicted that such a clash would cause something like this. Sweat dropped from his forehead as he tried to keep his breathing stable. Just as he thought, the lightning snake took a lot from him. The explosion slowly died down. The boy peeked slightly from his hiding spot and scanned the area, black and grey were now the colors of a big part of Konoha’s forest. He thought about the time again, probably five more minutes had gone by, meaning a total of ten, and the reinforcements were still nowhere in sight. Just where were they? Surely they discovered his location, it couldn’t be hard especially after this explosion. Mitsuki didn’t see any sign of Goro either, but his instinct told him not to let his guard down, again, like his father taught him… without a corpse, there is no assurance of the enemy’s death. His amber eyes then noticed something stuck in the ground of the burnt area; a blade. The boy took a moment to assess the situation, his breathing bated. Did that mean… that his enemy was… dead? True, the lightning snake was powerful but to actually blow up a man who also had lightning based attacks…? In any case… a sword would help him greatly. He was pretty good at kenjutsu, and now while he was weak in chakra, he needed anything he could get his hands on… the leader wasn’t the only person he was fighting after all. Reluctantly making his mind, Mitsuki jumped swiftly and silently on the ground. Immediately, a barrage of kunais stuck on the ground on which he landed. The boy had no other choice but to duck, grab the sword and roll out of the way. “Come out come out, wherever you are…” he heard Takeru’s voice not too far from the bushes behind which he hid, he had quickly memorized their voices and scents. “Fucking snake brat… Takeru the cat is gonna catch you and fucking eat you alive, I swear it!!” It was clear in his voice, how annoyed the man was. Good, maybe he could drive him crazy a little bit more. His speed did not require more use of chakra, but using his stamina would slow down the recovery of chakra. Mitsuki was starting to take his first steps to run around the brunet when he was met with a blade coming from one of his sides. He barely had time to react to it and counter it with his own blade. He met the soulless smirk of the leader. This man… maybe he himself wasn’t one to talk, being only a synthetic human, nothing more than a replica in this world with some purpose… but Mitsuki had encountered many opponents, many enemies before, enemies even more powerful in their own right… yet he had never seen before anyone that looked less human… and more of a beast. “What is the matter kid?” the man said, his smirk growing more. “Feeling tired yet?” Lightning sparkled along his blade… the blade that looked so similar to the one he was wielding now, the blue haired boy noticed. “Or,” came Takeru’s voice before he could proceed more on that thought, and Mitsuki tried his best to avoid the next kunai attack… but he couldn’t act as fast. He felt the blades cutting his skin… “He’s just feeling down because he’s all alone, with no one to help…” Takeru came out of the woods, his smirk matching that of Goro’s. He stood there for a minute and looked around, as if listening to the sounds. “All this fighting and… still no reaction from the village you are hell-bent on protecting.” He jerked his head to the direction of the village as he looked at Mitsuki, as if to emphasize his words. And indeed, he was trying not to dwell on that too much so as not to distract from the battle, but it was peculiar that no one, not even a single jounin arrived yet. Konoha wouldn’t disregard a threat this close, especially after the latest attack, no matter who was fighting out there now... “Aww, look at his face, Goro,” the brunet smirked and closed the circle around the boy a little closer. “He only realized now how alone he is.” Mitsuki tried not to show how affected he was by this discovery… he focused on making up a plan to escape these two. Maybe it was time he started running back to the village and raised the alarm himself. He felt a slight burn on his superficial cuts. What he did next didn’t go unnoticed by the other two shinobi. The boy was healing the cuts and soon his skin was clean, no cut, just the few marks of blood that the cuts had provoked… but the wounds were gone. “So… the little snake can heal, huh? I bet that takes a lot of chakra from you.” That was right, although of course he wouldn’t tell them that. He kept sweating more and his breath was hitching more by the minute, this… fight was somehow taking more than it should from him… He really needed to end this sooner… Goro and Takeru took a step towards him, and Mitsuki had to do the one thing that immediately came to mind to buy himself some time. They were a temporary relief, but smoke bombs did work quite well for distraction. As his enemies’ vision was momentarily clouded by the black smoke, he extended his arm to grab the lower branch of a tree and pulled himself up. “That brat… I swear when I’m finished with him…” Takeru growled. “He’s coming close to his limit.” Rather than annoyed, Goro was enjoying every minute of it… he was in his element. “Keep attacking him psychologically. The rest will be dealt with Raiha.” His fingers caressed the half of his sword almost lovingly. Mitsuki landed safely trees away, with the sensor down it should take a while for them to find him again; thankfully he was good at hiding and escaping. He tried to keep his breathing steady… what was wrong with him? Sure he had used a good amount of chakra with the snake lightning but not enough to make him this weak, he felt his vision failing at times, like he was almost at his limit in the chakra reserves. Something wasn’t right, something definitely wasn’t right… last time he had felt like this was when he fought that Shizuma guy in Kirigakure… that glutton sword Samehada, together with the red mist sure had been a pain, sucking his chakra so easily like nothing… Wait… that was it…! That had to be it! His chakra was being sucked! That was the only explanation! His mind quickly went to thinking mode, he needed to figure out what was sucking it before they found him! And still this… silence, this inactivity from the village was beginning to unnerve him, as much as he didn’t want to admit it. Even if, by some inexplicable reason, no one could hear these sounds, even when they weren’t exactly being quiet… haven’t anyone seen the explosion? What was keeping Konoha ninja from rushing to this battle already? ‘Or maybe they just don’t care…’ The voice that returned in his head was so sudden that the boy involuntarily flinched. The same resentful, hateful voice that almost made him turn a blind eye when he first saw the rogue ninjas… But he couldn’t, he couldn’t leave his friends to the mercy of these beasts. ‘Oh? And where are those supposed friends now…?’ the voice asked with malicious delight. Mitsuki shook his head as if to get rid of the voice. He shouldn’t concentrate on this now… this was just a distraction. Distraction that could easily cause him to fail. Suddenly the earth shook and it almost made him fall from the tree. Dammit he had been found and caught with his guard down! ‘Focus, Mitsuki!’ his mind screamed as he jumped to the nearest trees. “Where are you going snake boy?! Want to play cat and mouse again??” he could hear Takeru’s teasing voice, where was the other one…? “You know no one is coming, don’t you?” he heard the laughter. “No one cares, no one knows you’re here! You’re just a nuisance, why would anyone come? Why would someone come for an outsider? You don’t even have a headband, you’re not a ninja y’know!” That made Mitsuki’s heart clench. No… he couldn’t let these words get to him…! ‘He is right, you know,’ the voice said, painfully in sync with the man. ‘You should’ve bailed when you had the chance. Now you’re all alone…’ “You are nobody,” the brunet continued. “No one moves a finger for a nobody. You’re not gonna make it out of here! You’re gonna die like the vermin you are, all alone!” ‘Why do you fight…?’ the voice whispered. As the man moved forward, the boy yelled in rage and jumped, again using his jutsu to extend his arm. Luck was with him this time, his arm wrapped around the man’s throat and tightened. Takeru came to a very sudden stop and gasped, and then tried to get Mitsuki’s arm loose, growing desperate when it didn’t work. The boy tightened his arm, but found himself lacking his usual strength to finalize the move… he needed it to keep his stand against the leader… The man’s color was slowly changing from purple to blue. His pupils dilated and he gurgled once more, his attempts growing feeble. Mitsuki had to let go, catching his breath. “Y-you…” Takeru coughed, gasping for air. “Y-you are a-an i-id-idiot… you s-should’ve… killed me…” his lips started to curl up in a smirk. “You’re… a goner n-now…” He didn’t have time to react, not even the time to sense the chakra of the person showing up behind him and just as Mitsuki turned around, he felt a sharp blade pierce his pale skin harshly, cutting it from one side to another; coloring his white and blue kimono in different shades of red. His body was paralyzed in shock, he felt the blood coming from his throat and out of his mouth, his amber eyes moved up to see his attacker… it wasn’t Goro… he was… very similar to the leader but it wasn’t him… how… had he not noticed there was another in the group…? Hiraku began shaking when he realized that he had just attacked a child, his breathing quickened, an icy smoke of breath left his mouth and he tried to gently pull out the sword… it only worsened when he saw the amount of blood spilling from the wound. The blond lost all ability to stand at the sight… his knees gave way and he fell on them, trembling all over. Tired and weakened as he was, Mitsuki still saw Goro’s murderous gaze a second before the charging man raised his sword high. His mind in automatic drive, he did the move that saved his life back in Kirigakure. “Fuuton: Toppa...!” He didn’t feel the blade… he only felt his heart clenching and the pain, the pain like someone just lit it on fire… He had no strength to keep standing… nor the will… with a silent sigh, he fell forward. “Goddamn brat… Gave us one hell of a fight…” The leader’s voice was full of hatred, disgust… He spat on the boy on the ground before turning to Hiraku. “Get a hold of yourself, you spineless coward.” Mitsuki could barely stay awake, his body was too weak… how had he come to this…? He was supposed to be the perfect fighting machine, he shouldn’t have lost… his father had made him perfect… His weak eyes saw Goro bend down and grab the second blade. The wicked smile widened. “You didn’t even see it coming, did you brat?” he said in a teasing tone. “This blade ate all your chakra without you even noticing.” Trembling from the pain and exhaustion, the blue haired boy was surprised - and disappointed - that he couldn’t even have made the connection. He had seen the legendary Samehada up close, felt the blade sucking his chakra… and let that blade do the same… he was too focused to just fight, fight for survival, fight for the village… The village… his… friends… At least maybe they were safe… if he had ensured that much, he still would have completed the mission… Goro’s face contorted in inhumane fury as he kept looking at the boy, who was still stirring, albeit feebly… This worthless pup had made them lose a considerable amount of chakra… they couldn’t go on to the village tonight with the state they were in right now… He had to pay. Hiraku noticed Goro raising his foot but his mind didn’t make the connection in time to stop what happened next. With a sharp, sickening sound, the leader’s kick smashed right on to Mitsuki’s chest, making the boy hiss in pain. “Why don’t you hurry up and die already, you pesky brat?!” “S-stop that, Goro! He won’t be able to move in this state! Let’s just leave him!” A female voice came from behind Hiraku, an amused snort. “You really are a newbie in this, aren’t you? Leaving the kid alive is the same as dooming your life. In this life, the enemy must die.” The woman, Suzume, bent down to look at Mitsuki. The boy moved his eyes to her. He felt his eyes burn, as well as his chest… was it the pain from the blade’s attack…? No… it was something else… the sensation almost felt familiar... “Tch… pathetic. How does a crybaby like you almost beat us and ruin our plans?” Cry… baby…? Once again, he was crying…? So that was the wetness on his face… But why…? He couldn’t be… upset because he was beaten, Shizuma had beaten him too back in the field trip, he didn’t recall crying back then… ‘Your father would be ashamed if he saw you like that now…’ the voice in his head said spitefully, and Mitsuki felt another pang in his heart. “Awww, or is it that this poor lone ranger is too afraid to die?” the woman continued in a mocking, sing-song voice and pulled out a kunai. “Let me end your misery honey, won’t you?” “I’m… not afraid… to die…” Mitsuki breathed out faintly but still with all the power he could muster, before he coughed up more blood splaying his lips… It was all he could do to just keep his consciousness… It was fading away, just like how the pain slowly was… Suzume grunted and wiped the blood from her face with a disgusted look in her eyes. Tch… damn brat. “I can see why you get on my comrades’ nerves, you truly are an annoying brat. No wonder you are here all alone.” The woman raised her blade with the intention of plunging it into the boy’s heart at once but the moment his amber eyes met her own, Suzume froze in shock… these eyes… those damn eyes that she knew too well…! She quickly got up, sweating hard. “No way…” “The hell are you doing Suzume?! Finish him!” Takeru muttered, annoyed. “Forget it, I’m out of here!” And with that, she took off, without another glance to spare their way. “What the fuck was that…?!” Summoning up the last dregs of his consciousness, Mitsuki had made his mind. The village was the next target… and no one was coming, maybe they weren’t even aware, although he didn’t know how… if he could delay them a little longer… Monkey… Ox… Maybe it was his sluggish movements, but he never found the time to complete the Paralyzing Jutsu. A kick dangerously close to his face forced his hands apart and came crashing down on his right arm. The boy heard his bones crunch but he could no longer feel the pain. “This vermin seriously grates on my nerves. Hiraku, I have a job for you.” Hiraku inclined his head to their direction, but didn’t give any other sign of interest. This got a ‘tch’ from Takeru, while Goro just rolled his eyes with an impatient huff. Then he quickly bent down, grabbed a fistful of Mitsuki’s hair and jerked his head up. “Get your hands on that sword of yours. I want the boy’s head.” "W-What?" the other man managed to stammer, unable to believe he said just that. "What, never heard of trophy hunters?" Goro asked, his smirk taking on a more insane quality. "I won this hunt, and I want my trophy. You are not a weakling, are you? Bring me the boy's head." Bile rose up in Hiraku's throat as he realized what kind of an inhuman being his companion truly was. "You bastard! I'm not doing that to a child!" Goro didn’t say anything for a moment, squinting at him with great distaste. "Fine, I'll do it myself." Goro said and dropped Mitsuki roughly to the floor, going for the sword that was next to Hiraku. "No! Goro, stay away from the boy!" Darkness overwhelmed Mitsuki, but not before he saw a shadow nearby, someone who felt familiar... Then he felt the presence of someone warm, someone he could trust... and he felt no more.

[phcking-detective]

Baby I Can See Heaven in Your Eyes

Rating: E

Tags: dirty talk / voice kink, heavy petting, dry humping, delayed / denied orgasm, hair pulling, light pet play (Nines is called kitten and told to "sit"), oral fixation, crying, kissing and cuddling as (brief) aftercare before the scene continues, sexual possessiveness, fingering, sub space

TW: sexual roleplay that Gavin is Nines’s “owner” and Nines is his “companion model,” like an at-home Traci; no kink negotiation beforehand, but Gavin checks in with Nines frequently for explicit consent; Nines has a vagina (no gender play)

***

Nines cannot wait for his human to return home, so that he can test his most recent experiment. Thus far, he has tested a phallus, a vaginal component, two dildos, and a vibrator.

He is looking forward to also gathering data on Gavin's dick.

"Hello, detective," he greets the moment of the human's arrival.

Thing One and Thing Two greet him as well, One by rubbing against his legs and purring, and Two by screaming for attention. They have both been fed, and Nines plans on giving them their favorite electronic mouse to hunt as a distraction so he can have the human to himself for the evening.

"Hey, baby," Gavin says. He kneels down and pets both cats. "Hello beasties. Yes, hello. Are you lying? Have you been fed?"

"Yes, they have," Nines answers for them. "Please ignore their wails of alleged hunger."

"Dirty rotten liars," Gavin calls them affectionately.

Nines remotely deploys the mouse with a swirl of his LED. It is big enough to contain a small amount of wet food inside, and the "beasties" quickly chase it into the kitchen.

Gavin stands up with a snort. "Oh, did you want attention too? What've you been doing today?"

"Yes," Nines says shamelessly. "I spent the afternoon thoroughly masturbating myself. How was work?"

Gavin tries to hang his jacket on a coat hook that does not exist and drops it on the floor. "You—what?"

"I spent the afternoon thoroughly masturbating myself. How was work?" Nines asks.

"Not as fun as that," Gavin mutters as he picks up the jacket and tries again. "Did you … uh. Have fun?"

"Yes. I should really thank Connor," Nines says.

Gavin pulls a face. "You fucked Connor? In my—shit, OK. Well. Our apartment? Not on my bed though, right? That's still mine."

Nines rolls his eyes in return. "No, Gavin. I did not fuck Connor. He simply informed me that sex is not merely for reproduction and that it is not hyperbole when humans say they want to fuck someone."

Gavin stares at him. Nines understands. This is all very new information that seemed dubious to him as well.

"Apparently, humans really are out there 'fucking' one another," Nines explains.

"… yeah," Gavin says.

Nines analyzes him, noting his elevated heart rate. "Did you know about this, detective?"

"I—don't scan me!" Gavin snaps. "My sex life is none of your business."

"Oh." Nines feels his LED circle yellow-yellow-red. "But you are sexually attracted me, and Connor said that is not merely an annoying physical response on par with hiccups. Do you not want to have sex with me?"

"On par with …" Gavin stops and rubs his hands across his face. "Phck. We're really going to talk about this, huh? We're just gonna have a whole goddamn conversation about it."

"Yes," Nines says. "Detective."

Gavin puts his hands down to glare at him. "OK, just because I got drunk one time—"

"You get drunk fre—"

"AHT!" Gavin cuts him off with the no-noise he uses on the cats. "One time and ordered a companion android, who—"

"You did not," Nines reminds him. "You googled 'tall smexy anboid' 'want hot robo friemd' and 'am robots gay question-mark question-mark question-mark' before passing out."

"I hate you."

"You think I'm pretty."

"AUGH!"

Gavin stalks into the living room and throws himself onto the couch. Nines does not understand why his human insists on making everything so emotional and difficult and emotionally difficult.

He clearly desires android sexual companionship, given his drunken attempt to order a companion model — [confirmed].

He is sexually attracted to Nines, given that he mistook the RK900's first appearance at his apartment the next morning (entirely coincidental; Captain Fowler assigned them as partners) to be the companion model he attempted to order — [confirmed].

He did not reject the "companion model," despite all commentary from other humans (Cyberlife employees; DPD employees) indicating Nines is [creepy], [inhuman], [terrifying], et cetera, et cetera. Gavin instead labeled him a [big pretty bitch] and [all my phcking wet dreams come true, goddamn].

"You think I'm pretty," Nines repeats.

Gavin finally lifts his head out of his hands. "Yes. You're the prettiest fucking sass bot ever produced."

[confirmed]

"You find me sexually attractive as well, and it is true that humans actually act on those physical desires, yes?" Nines asks.

Gavin sighs and lets his head drop against the back of the couch. "Yeah."

"I have installed a vaginal component, and I—"

"Oh my god," Gavin whispers at the ceiling.

"—have confirmed I enjoy penetrative stimulation," Nines continues. "You are in possession of a phallus, correct?"

Gavin looks up at him. "OK, so you're bored of dildos and you want to try out my dick?"

"Is anyone other than your hand making use of it?" Nines replies.

"Phck off."

"Gladly."

Nines takes a seat on Gavin's lap. This is his [favorite] spot. Now he knows why it flusters the human so much, and also possibly why he enjoys it so much. Could he have been experiencing [sexual arousal] even without a genital component? Interesting.

"Baby," Gavin groans.

Nines relocates the human's hands to his thighs. Gavin obligingly begins rubbing them, almost reaching up high enough to cup his ass. He has sat in this spot before, firstly to mimic the cats, because they seemed to enjoy sitting on Gavin's lap and being petted. Then for [cuddling] and telling each other about their day.

Of course he had noted Gavin's reaction to this; he simply did not categorize it as relevant. The human's stomach also sometimes growled while around the cats, but that bodily reaction did not mean Gavin literally wanted to or would ever eat either one of them. Human bodies sometimes just do things.

But now Nines can recognize he is the [cause] of this particular reaction.

(And also note his new genital component's reaction to his human rubbing his thighs and calling him baby in that tone of voice.)

"Detective," Nines says in return.

Gavin huffs out a growl. "Dammit, Nines. You should—you can … go get another human. Or android, I guess. Just. Someone else."

Nines pulls back enough to ensure he can fully scan the human. Arousal — [confirmed]. No detection of [fear]. Gavin wants this and presumably is not coerced or intoxicated.

But admittedly, Nines did not have a social module pre-installed. He has learned from experience, observing humans in his new profession as a librarian, and … mimicking Gavin's cats.

(Not that he's told that last fact to Connor.)

"Clarify," Nines demands. "Do you not want this?"

Gavin, much like his cats when told to get off the counter, looks away and pretends not to hear him.

"Am I sexually assaulting you?" Nines asks.

"Wha—" Gavin finally gives him a reaction. "No! Fuck, god."

"I am requesting that you fuck me."

Gavin gives him a slow look up and down. "Closest I'm gonna get to heaven, huh?"

Nines preens under his gaze. Question answered, now reassured that his actions are not harming the human, he deploys another helpful tactic he has learned from Thing One and Thing Two.

He repeatedly butts his face into Gavin's to request attention.

"Kiss me."

"Nines, I—"

"Kiss me. Kiss me."

Gavin grabs a fistful of his hair and yanks him into a kiss. Nines ignores the notifications of a mission successfully completed as they scroll across his HUD in order to focus on the experience.

For how roughly Gavin maneuvered him into it, the [kiss] is surprisingly gentle. His lips press insistently against Nines's, drawing back slightly and then pressing again, but it is nothing like the people on TV who seem to be eating each other's faces.

It is … very nice. Warm. The human's lips aren't quite soft, due to chapping from the cold Detroit weather, but the texture is so [interesting]. And the contrast between lips and stubble and the slight pull of the hand still gripping his hair makes his internal cooling fans kick in to abate the sudden rise in temperature.

Then, just as Nines lets his guard down, Gavin bites his lip.

It does not [hurt] or cause any damage of course, but Nines still opens his mouth to ask why—and the human uses that split second to delve his tongue inside.

Analysis explodes across the android's HUD. Gavin's DNA, the hormones present in his saliva, traces of coffee. (And when was the last time he had a meal? Nines should be detecting actual food as well [reminder: my human has not yet consumed his daily caloric intake])

Gavin pulls back and separates their mouths. Unacceptable. Nines pushes forward and puts his own tongue inside the human's mouth to continue his analysis.

For some reason, Gavin pushes him away.

"No tongue until you learn how to kiss," he's told.

Nines does not pout. He presents a perfectly reasonable argument. "I was analyzing you."

"Yeah, that's why I made the rule," Gavin replies. "There's a difference between kissing and analyzing. Also, I need to breathe."

Well. The second fact does hold some merit …

"We can still make out." Gavin shifts his hand from Nines's hair to cup his face. "Just let me lead, all right baby?"

Nines nods and obediently holds still until Gavin guides his face back down. The kiss starts slow again, and the next nip at his bottom lip only tugs on it slightly before Gavin lets go and kisses him again. Nines tries to follow the pattern of when to press forward and when to tilt his—

Gavin's hands slide over the tops of his thighs and then inside them, thumbs pressed close to his groin. Nines barely has time to process this change (he is still being [kissed]) before the detective uses his grip to pull his thighs wider over his lap.

"You wanna show me what I'm working with?" Gavin asks him, his voice low and rough and … very unfair.

Nines leans forward into the human's arms, dropping his head down to rest on his shoulder. He needs less stimulus to process all of this. He restricts his audio input to ignore any sounds outside of the apartment. The mouse program gets abandoned, so the cats will likely be able to bat it out from under the fridge soon. All he needs is Gavin, Gavin, Gavin.

"Touch me," he asks.

The thumb slowly drawing circles on the inside of his left thigh lifts up to stroke over his pubic plate, currently equipped with a vaginal component. It only takes a gentle press to push the fabric of his yoga pants into the slick mess Gavin has made of him.

"Your cunt all wet for me, baby?"

The profanity shivers through him, and Nines nods against his neck. That answer apparently was not [adequate] though, because Gavin takes his thumb nearly away, resting so lightly atop the fabric Nines can only feel his human body heat.

"Need an answer, Nines."

Nines works his mouth silently for a few seconds before remembering to activate his vocal unit. "Yes, Detective."

Gavin hums and it's almost a groan. Nines presses closer and licks his neck. That is not [kissing]. This analysis of his sweat and skin should not be forbidden.

"I'm going to touch you," Gavin tells him.

Nines lifts his head to exhale a cloud of steam. It does very little to lower his rising core temperature, not when Gavin's thumb swipes up to pet across the crotch of his yoga pants until he finds his clit, grown swollen and plump. He chose a larger model, and he had very reasonable—

"Gaaav …"

—reasons. Reasonable … reasons. Yes. Many of them. Aesthetics and—and—more sensors to—

"Oh, baby," Gavin murmurs in that voice. "You need it, kitten? Look at you, you're trembling, and I'm barely even touching you."

That is an unfair assessment. Nines tries to formulate the argument but blows out steam again instead. Gavin has his voice, and the way he spread Nines's thighs so wide, he can clearly see the growing damp patch he's making.

The way that also leaves Nines's [cunt] spread wide, lips separated and hole clenching around nothing.

It feels … [filthy]

[embarrassing]

[exciting]

"So good for me." Gavin pulls Nines's face out of the crook of his neck by his hair. "Let me see you."

Nines goes with the motion. The human has a firm grip on his hair, right at the root, so the tugging doesn't actually [hurt], although the complete lack of resistance likely helps.

But he can hardly see his detective past all the error notifications crowding up his HUD.

Gavin apparently likes what he sees. "Beautiful. My pretty baby."

He doesn't stop circling his thumb around Nines's clit as he says it, and Nines whimpers. He tries to push his hips forward to get more pressure, more touching, more of anything, but Gavin takes his hand away entirely to still his hips.

"Please," Nines gasps.

Gavin gives him a stern look. "Behave."

Nines shudders all over, a full body malfunction. His core temperature has risen almost to dangerous levels. Gavin tugs his head back, forcing his chin up. Nines doesn't understand why (is he no longer allowed to view his human?) until a prompt flashes in red to exhale.

He releases a burst of steam that would have been too hot for human comfort, but Gavin has already preconstructed that. He is allowed to lower his head again once he's completed a few breathing cycles. His temperature and stress levels begin a slow descent as he settles into the knowledge that Detective Reed will take care of him.

"Please, Detective." Nines blinks several times to clear all the notifications. "I will be good."

He saves several still images of the way Gavin looks as he considers: his eyes more black than grey-green, the slight flush across his cheeks, the obvious press of his erection inside his jeans, yet he still remains in control.

(Of them both.)

Gavin lifts up the hand on his hip and offers Nines his thumb. Nines gratefully lets his mouth fall open, thumb gently pressing inside to rest heavily on top of his tongue. His eyes drift shut to focus solely on the analysis he receives.

All too soon, the thumb is withdrawn, but he doesn't have time to protest before it's pressing back into his clit again, even wetter than before, the damp fabric hardly even a barrier at all.

And then does not move.

"What do you say," Gavin asks lowly.

"Th—" Nines gasps. "Thank you, De—Detect—ohhh."

Gavin's own legs underneath him prevent him from closing his thighs around the hand between his legs, and the hand in his hair holds his head hostage so that he cannot look away. He doesn't know what to do with his hands until he realizes that at some point, he put them behind his back, an old program partially activated to stand at parade rest.

This is much better.

"You like this baby?"

Nines tries to nod against the hand in his hair and forces his LED to flash blue along the yellow and red.

"Good boy," Gavin praises. "Just gonna check when your light's been red for a while, all right?"

Nines doesn't answer this time. He just sinks down into it, the obedience of holding perfectly still, the care Gavin shows him, letting someone else have control for once. He enjoyed the way masturbation made his awareness of physical sensation temporarily overtake his thoughts, but he did not expect … this.

Except just when he feels his orgasm approaching, Gavin takes his hand away. He must make some sort of distressed noise, because his detective immediately reassures him.

"Shhh, shhh, I've still got you. You're good, so good for me, baby."

Gavin rearranges their legs as he speaks, holding both hands on Nines's sides to help support and balance him with his hands still gripping his wrists behind his back. The relocation stops with their legs staggered, Nines kneeling with one of Gavin's legs between both of his own instead of straddling his whole lap.

"You wanted to sit in my lap, didn't you kitten?" Gavin says. It is not a question. "So sit."

Nines doesn't understand, but he lowers himself back down anyway to [sit] on top of—

Oh.

Both of Gavin's hands go to his hips this time, showing him how to grind down on the thigh between his legs. The pleasure is not as [focused] as being petted with his thumb, but he finally gets pressure against his entrance as well.

"C'mere."

Nines doesn't realize he's broken posture to slump forward until Gavin pulls him in all the way, carefully nestling him to rest against his chest—although the android does still have to bend slightly to put their heads on an even level due to the height difference.

"Is this what you wanted?" Gavin turns his head to speak softly in his ear. "All those times you crawled in my lap, sat here like this, knowing how goddamn hard you get me?"

Nines whimpers and takes it, almost like a punishment, but so [good]. He only moves his hips as Gavin's hands direct them, as his leg pushes up and his hands pull him down.

"I shouldn't even be this nice to you." Gavin lets out a sigh. "But fuck it, you're cute. Go ahead and take a freebie, baby."

Nines tries to make his next whine sound a bit more questioning, to indicate he doesn't understand the meaning of that either. Luckily, Gavin pays attention. He always pays attention to Nines, in a [good] way, not afraid or gossiping about him behind his back.

"I'm going to let you come this time," he explains.

Gavin drops a kiss against his temple as Nines fixates on the very specific phrasing [this time]. Now he's the one a little scared, but not bad, not bad, it's too [good] to be [bad].

"Wh-when?" Nines manages to ask.

Gavin laughs, deep and almost mean. The not-fear shivers through him again.

He does not receive an answer.

***

Gavin knows he's a bad man. He's a very, very bad man, but goddamn if the universe hasn't rewarded him for it.

"That's it," he tells the gorgeous android rubbing off in his lap. "Next time I won't even have to show you how. Leave my hands free so I can have a smoke."

A cigarette is damn near the only thing that could make this any better. If this isn't a one-time curiosity experiment for Nines, he'll really have to try that the next time.

But for now, he focuses on the present, the absolute goddamn gift Nines is.

"Been waiting for this all day, haven't you?"

He doesn't give Nines time to answer. His thigh flexes underneath the slick cunt desperately grinding into it, and his android whimpers out static.

"How many times have you come already?" he asks.

"S-s-seven," Nines answers through a glitch.

Well. Gavin has to at least work him up to his own number, doesn't he?

"And no refractory period. Goddamn." Gavin sighs in mild envy while petting through his hair. "I could keep you here, just like this, all evening long. Keep you coming and begging for hours."

Nines lets out a grinding noise that might be the android equivalent of a sob. His hips finally lose their rhythm under Gavin's hand, just chasing his own pleasure now. He really shouldn't allow that so easily, but then again, Nines is a virgin who's never done kink before. Or anything else, actually.

So Gavin lets him have it.

But since he's a bad man, not an altruistic one, he pulls Nines's head back by his hair to see his pretty face, eyes wide and unfocused, lips slightly parted. There's a soft blue blush across his cheek's he's never seen before, and his LED practically strobes in his temple.

"Good boy, gonna make you come every time you sit this pretty little pussy in my lap."

Nines squeezes his eyes shut and whines. That's all right. He's too fucked out to make eye contact anyway, but one thing that isn't allowed …

Gavin presses his thumb inside the android's lips, pushing down on his tongue until his mouth drops open. He rubs the pad of it back and forth against the soft muscle for a moment, then down to smear the wet faux-saliva across his bottom lip.

"Keep your mouth open," he orders. "You're only allowed to come if you open that pretty mouth for me."

Nines gives a jerky nod, and Gavin sits back to enjoy the show. He pets his free hand across the android's chest and sides, feeling him up through the thin t-shirt as he rides his leg like he downloaded a Traci program to do it.

Eventually, the android starts spinning more red than yellow, hot air pushed out of his mouth with nearly even exhale, and he pushes his tongue out farther over his lips to show that his mouth is open.

And ohhh, Gavin is so bad. He rubs his thumb over that soft, pink tongue until it's nice and wet, then reaches up underneath his shirt to rub circles around one hard nipple.

Nines starts letting out shuddering sobs that Gavin lets wash over him, feeling them go straight to his dick like the android is being a good little companion and licking up his shaft. Next time, next time …

Finally, he scrounges around deep down in his soul to find some mercy.

"Come on my leg, baby."

He barely gets to "my" before Nines obeys, face dropping slack and LED pulsing a steady Yellow. Red. Yellow. Gavin gets to watch as his tongue gives the tiniest little flexes, like he's sucking cock in a dream.

If he were nice, he'd press his thumb back inside and help his orgasm along by giving Nines something to suck on.

Instead, he waits it out. Good training requires the sub to be just as desperate for it as you are, and he's going to let Nines work his way through a few orgasms with his mouth open and searching, so that when he finally presses the head of his cock into those sweet pretty lips, his android won't feel anything but gratitude.

When Nines finally slumps forward and begins crying against his neck, Gavin lets go of his hair and rubs both hands up and down his back.

"Shhh, hey, I got you," he says softly. "You were good, so good, baby. It's OK, just let it all out."

Nines sniffles, then begins studiously licking up his tears. Gavin would be a little concerned about his sub getting too deep into the headspace for their first time, except Nines licking his face, neck, and any other body part he can reach is pretty typical.

"Did that feel good?"

That gets a slow sigh of air that's just warm, not scalding hot. Gavin rubs a hand up the android's chest next, and Nines starts up a rumbling purr. Blue light spins in the corner of his eye. So he'll take all that as a yes.

"You want kisses?" he asks next.

Nines immediately butts his face against Gavin's cheek. He shouldn't have let the asshole learn how to be social from his fucking cats.

"All right, all right," he grumbles.

Gavin scoops up the lanky android in his arms as much as he can and turns them to the side so they can lay down on the couch, with himself on top of course. Nines lounges back against the cushions, black hair fanning out around his head like a dark halo. He reaches for Gavin and tugs on his shirt when he spends too long admiring the view.

Since he's already so spoiled anyway … Gavin obliges him with kisses. Nines hums and purrs throughout it, LED now a gentle baby blue.

"Did you like that?" Gavin asks quietly between the two of them.

He should have started this scene with that—some rules and a safeword at least—but he'll try to make up for it now with the aftercare.

Nines nods shyly, presenting his face for more kisses. Gavin gives them to him, but he keeps each one light and short to help them both wind down. They need to talk about if this will be an ongoing arrangement, and if Nines just wants to sub or if he wants to really dig deep and roleplay as Gavin's personal companion android.

Gavin tries to open up that conversation. "What do you want now, baby?"

Nines slowly opens his eyes and blinks up at him. His LED turns a slow, lazy yellow for a moment while he glances down.

Then he looks back up and clearly says, "Dick."

Gavin reflexively looks down at his own crotch—which is apparently where Nines was looking, not just demurely averting his gaze, the thirsty little bitch. He meets Nines's eyes again and sees the android watching him expectantly, like a pillow princess waiting to be serviced.

"Don't know how anyone mistook you for a detective," Gavin tells him. "When you're obviously such a slut."

Nines blushes and closes his eyes, but he doesn't bother to hide his preening smirk.

"But you're gonna have to earn that, baby," Gavin continues.

Nines opens his eyes to shoot him the wounded look he learned from their little beasties when being removed from the bed so Gavin can get some goddamn sleep without an eight pound cat laying on his face.

"I can be good," he promises. He glances down between them again. "I do not have a refractory period."

And then he looks up at Gavin from underneath his lashes with those big blue eyes, and all thoughts of kink negotiation and safe words take a running leap and crash through the window.

"I'm going to take off your pants and play with that pretty pussy of yours until you start crying again."

Nines nods eagerly. He even lifts his hips like a good boy to help Gavin peel the yoga pants off him, a sticky strand of lubrication stringing between his lips and the crotch for a moment before the thread breaks. That gets the android blushing and whirring again, but Gavin just chuckles.

He lifts the t-shirt too, but instead of taking it off, he tucks it behind Nines's neck. It's a pitiful restraint, especially against an RK model, but Nines obligingly tucks his arms back behind his back, then waits obediently for Gavin to begin.

And this had better be a long-term thing, because Gavin doesn't think he can ever let anyone touch his android after this. Not with how Nines is looking at him, so open and sincere, without a single doubt that whatever happens next will be good and safe.

He might be a bad man, but shit. At least he knows that. And he also knows how many losers and assholes are out there, sociopaths and abusers and people who are honestly just too dumb and selfish to notice when they hurt someone.

No, his Nines is never going to experience any of that.

"Did you think about me when you touched yourself?" Gavin asks.

He runs his hands up the insides of Nines's legs while he asks the question. That's unfair enough, but rubbing his thumbs right at the creases in his thighs as Nines tries to answer borders on mean.

"I—I, yes. Did." Nines stutters.

Gavin skirts his hands up higher, just barely resting on the outsides of his flushed lips. His clit is big enough to push out past them, a teasing little peek-a-boo that makes Gavin's mouth water. It looks just as fat and swollen with arousal as it had felt when he'd petted over it through the pants.

"Do you like having something in your cunt, baby?"

He gets even meaner when he punctuates this question by using his thumbs to gently pull his lips apart and watch the way his exposed hole clenches and flutters. Nines manages to make his moan sound something like please.

"You have to tell me if you want it," Gavin says sternly. "I'm not just gonna guess about something like that."

Nines frantically nods, his mouth working silently around gasps. He's so worked over just having his legs spread and his pussy put on display. Gavin decides to have mercy—mostly on himself.

"Shhh, OK. I'm going to play with you now."

He circles his thumb around the android's clit gently at first, just watching what kind of reaction partial stimulation to it gets him. Nines shudders out an exhale and his thighs tense.

"That's right, you need to keep your hips still," Gavin tells him.

Nines nods again, blindly, his eyes shut and mouth agape.

"Do you want it like this?"

Gavin slides his other hand up Nines's side, over his chest, to rest lightly on top of his throat. Nines slowly opens his eyes, LED sluggishly spinning yellow. Gavin times the slow circles around his clit to it.

"With rules and taking orders," Gavin explains. "Where you need to obey and behave."

"Yes," Nines breathes out.

He doesn't take that as his real answer right away. "Or do you want it more casual?"

Nines blinks hard, twice, and cocks his head.

"Where I tell you what to do, since I've got more experience. But," He lets go of the android's throat. "You can do what you want. You don't have to hold still or—"

Nines shakes his head no for the first time. "I … I want … to be … good."

"As a good boy, or my own personal companion android,"

Gavin strokes his thumb directly down the length of Nines's swollen clit for the first time.

"That I can pet,"

He keeps his thumb where it is and shifts his fingers to tease the tip of his index against the entrance clenching at it.

"And play with,"

"Yes, yes, please," Nines chants.

Gavin presses the finger inside and it goes so easy. Enough for him to believe Nines really has spent the entire afternoon doing nothing but fucking himself in Gavin's own bed.

"And fuck,"

He adds a second finger without any resistance and gets those tears he promised. He really can't stop a grin from spreading across his face at that, just as sharp and vicious as any of the RK's interrogation protocols.

"Whenever, and however …" He pulls his hand out entirely, leaving Nines gasping and wrenching his eyes back open to stare up at him in pleading confusion. "I want."

Nines sniffles and starts to shift his hips to seek out any stimulation he can. Gavin stills them with both hands, and tries to keep his voice soft and free of judgment for the next part.

"Do you still want to behave?" he asks.

He watches as Nines realizes what that really means. What he would be promising Gavin—just for this scene. They really do still need to have an actual talk before he'll accept anything as a permanent, serious answer, but he can't resist at least throwing this option out there for now.

Nines tilts his head back to release steam, but then he settles back down. His whole body eases in a way Gavin has never seen before actually—even though he rejected his programming in terms of working for either Cyberlife or the DPD, it always still shone through in his perfect posture and too-formal speech.

This is the first time he's ever seen the android look … relaxed.

Gavin waits, but he doesn't even attempt to hide the way he sweeps his gaze over Nines's body, appreciating the thick chest, pecs well-defined enough to almost give him a bust, nipples hard and begging for attention, and his legs still spread wide, showing off a perfectly manicured triangle of soft black curls right over where his cunt drools onto the couch.

He drags his eyes back up to meet Nines's soft look, utterly relaxed and blinking slowly. He already knows what the answer will be just from that, but he still waits for it.

"Yes, Detective."

***

***

this was commissioned by @gavinisqueertbh and you can find my commission info pinned to the top of my blog! subscribers to my patreon get early access to all my commissioned fics two weeks before they’re posted here and on AO3 for free ^^

[when-they-write-stuff]

42 + 43 with a worried Derek?

“No more stupid stunts, please?” & “You scared the shit out of me!”

- -

First of all, Stiles would like to say he didn’t agree with Derek’s definition of ‘stupid stunts’. And second of all, falling out of trees really hurt.

See, Stiles hadn’t planned on being in a tree that Saturday night. He hadn’t woken up that morning and decided “Hey, you know what’s a good idea? Climbing up a tree and then proceeding to fall out and break two bones. That sounds like a wild time.”

That thought never crossed his mind. You know, like a normal person.

But then Derek proceeded to swing through his window and notify him that the latest Beacon Hill’s threat was a flock of gargoyles. And Stiles was the bait.

He loved his life.

That all was how he ended up being in a tree. Stiles wasn’t sure why he thought it was a good idea to climb up there when gargoyles could fly, but it was the first thought that had crossed his mind when he was running through the preserve for his life. So yeah, there was that.

Gargoyles had wings. Stiles decided to remember that next time Derek made him the bait. 

He would like to say that in his defense, Stiles had been watching Tarzan earlier. And when he went out into the preserve that night, he might’ve been thinking about how cool it would be to be able to swing from tree to tree. Not like that influenced his later decision or anything.

Okay, it might have.

“You’re the bait,” he muttered, swinging his baseball bat back and forth as he walked. “You’re always the bait, Stiles. But don’t worry, we’ll all still consider you the token human and call you fragile when things come down to it! But how do you feel about risking your life every other weekend anyway? It’ll be fun!”

Stiles didn’t think this was fun at all. 

Up until today, he hadn’t even known gargoyles were a thing. They most certainly weren’t supposed to be, thank you very much. Gargoyles were supposed to be stone figures that sat on top of creepy old buildings and didn’t move. But instead, they were giant creatures with leather wings and sharp claws that screeched like dying cats when they attempted to kill someone.

Stiles learned that first hand.

When they were attempting to kill him, that was.

“Derek!” he shouted, really wishing he had laid off the curly fries that summer as he ran through the seemingly empty forest. “Derek, you furry asshole, now would be a good time to come to this token human’s aid!”

Stiles didn’t know where the hell the wolves were but if he died out here tonight because they were being lazy, he was so going to come back and haunt them all.

The moment he managed to duck out of the gargoyles’ sight, the first thing Stiles saw was a nice, tall tree. His dad had always told him if he was running from predators, the best thing to do was climb the nearest tree, so Stiles took off toward it.

He didn’t really stop to think things through.

It was only when he was about fifteen feet off the ground that Stiles remembered gargoyles had wings, he was really bad a climbing, and currently, he was all alone.

Still though, the moment he saw beady yellow eyes and sharp fangs, Stiles did the first thing that came to mind. He jumped toward the next closest tree.

It was then that Stiles remembered he wasn’t Tarzan either.

When Stiles hit the ground, he heard something crack. He cried out and curled his fingers into the dirt, feeling the pain like a punch to the gut. Faintly, Stiles heard the sound of the gargoyles and their screeches growing louder and mentally braced himself for the claws about to tear through his back.

Except then finally, Stiles heard the sound of sharp howls cutting through the night. He let out a sigh of relief and went limp, trying to think of something other than the pain currently curling through his gut.

Derek reached him first.

Stiles could hear the sounds of the other wolves fighting, but then there was a presence by his side and he didn’t need to look over to know who it was. Derek touched his arm and then snarled, pulling back.

“You’re hurt.”

“Yeah, Sourwolf, that usually happens to humans when they remember they can’t fly.”

“Is it bad?”

Stiles shifted and then hissed. “I think I broke something.

“A bone.”

“No,” Stiles said. “My face. Yes, a bone!”

Derek muttered something that Stiles didn’t catch and then swept an arm underneath his legs. Before Stiles could react, he was being picked up off the ground and pain crashed over him once more. This time, he wasn’t able to hold back a shout.

“Derek, you asshole, put me down!”

“You’re going to the hospital.”

“No, I’m continuing to lay on the ground. Derek, that hurts! Put me down!”

Of course, Derek ignored him. Stiles would struggle if he could but he’d really rather not hurt anymore, so he just stayed limp in his arms. Derek growled something to the rest of his pack and then turned away but at that point, Stiles was sweeping in and out of consciousness.

His everything hurt.

“Stay with me, Stiles,” Derek said. Stiles huffed a laugh.

“I’m not dying, asshole.”

“No, you’re not.”

“But maybe I could be. Cause dude, I hurt. Like a lot. Can I just be dying instead?”

Derek only growled in answer. Stiles laughed and then gasped, everything turning black for a long, painful second. When he came snapping back to reality, Derek was setting him in the Camaro and Stiles let loose a loud whine, feeling like his bones were grinding together.

“Stop it,” Derek said. He looked visibly bothered by Stiles’s sounds of pain. Stiles only made louder noises and went boneless in the seat.

Derek shot him a glare as he climbed into the driver’s seat and started the car.

“Why the hell did you climb a tree?” 

“It was the first idea that came to me,” Stiles groaned. Derek looked even more irritated.

“To escape from monsters with wings.”

“I never said it was a good idea.”

“Dammit, Stiles,” Derek said, stepping on the gas. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Is that a compliment, Sourwolf?”

“No more stupid stunts.

“Then maybe you should stop making this token human bait,” Stiles rasped. He kept one arm wrapped around his side although he was pretty sure that was doing nothing to help with the pain. Derek glanced sideways for a moment and then sighed, reaching over and placing a hand on Stiles’s knee.

Almost instantly, the pain started to lessen.

“You know,” Stiles said. “Maybe we could just skip the hospital altogether and go to the loft instead? I trust your, uh, splinting skills, dude.”

“That’s not how you fix a broken rib.”

“Oh, is that what you think this is?”

“Shut up, Stiles,” Derek growled. If Stiles looked over, the man’s face was startling pale and his fingers around the steering wheel seemed to tremble slightly. Stiles grinned despite himself.

“Dude, are you worried about me?”

“No.”

“I’m not dying,” Stiles said. “Seriously.”

“You could have been.”

“From falling out of a tree?”

“If you hit at the right angle,” Derek said, eyes flashing. “Yes.”

Stiles felt his smile slip away. He glanced back toward the road and the rest of the drive to the hospital was a silent one. Stiles already knew what was awaiting him; a lecture from Melissa, a call to his dad, and the ultimate (possibly life-threatening) grounding.

Probably.

Derek came around the side of the Camaro and Stiles sighed as the man picked him up again. With one of Derek’s hands on his arm, some of the pain was leeched away, and he didn’t feel like he could black out this time. He still winced every time Derek jostled him too much though.

The man seemed to notice that.

“Sorry,” Derek said. Stiles smirked up at him.

“I forgot I wasn’t Tarzan.”

“What.”

“How cool would that have been?” Stiles said, mostly to himself this time instead of Derek. “If I could have jumped from tree to tree? Dude, I should totally be Tarzan. Just drop me off on a deserted island with a bunch of gorillas for a year or two.”

“I think you’re in shock, Stiles.”

“Naw, dude,” Stiles said. “I’m just saying. I wouldn’t need a baseball bat if I was Tarzan.”

The man looked down at him, shaking his head. Stiles grinned.

The moments between the waiting room, Melissa coming into view, the foretold lecture, and waking up in a hospital bed were all a blur. Stiles felt woozy when he came back-to and the first thing he noticed was that his dad wasn’t around yet. The second was that Derek’s head was on his lap and he was pretty sure the man was asleep.

Stiles froze and stared at him. Then, as if he was trying not to wake a sleeping bear, he shifted a little. But of course, that was just enough.

Derek startled and his eyes snapped open. The man went rigid and then relaxed, blinking tiredly for a moment. A shiver ran down Stiles’s spine as he was fixed with a red-eyed gaze.

“You don’t speak of this to anyone, Stiles.”

“Oo-kay, Softiewolf.”

Derek blinked at him again and then pushed himself up, running a hand through his hair. It looked kind of adorable. Like a mouse had made a home in the middle of it.

Derek raised a brow. Stiles stared back until he realized all of that had slipped from his lips. In a panic, he clapped his hands over his mouth. But Derek only looked a little amused.

 “You’re drugged.”

“I am not.”

“Stiles, you just told me that my, and I quote, ‘bunny teeth would appropriately suit a mouse living in my hair. Because both of those things are adorable and they just make sense.’”

Stiles stared at him. He didn’t remember saying that.

“Just because you don’t remember saying it doesn’t mean you didn’t.”

“Dude, stop reading my mind!”

“I’m not reading your mind,” Derek huffed. “You just happen to be thinking out loud.”

Stiles glared at him, deciding he no longer wanted Derek to be his caretaker. Derek sucked. He wanted his dad even if it did come with an eternal grounding.

“Your father is still on a shift,” Derek said, a smirk tugging at the edges of his lips. “He should be here in a few hours.”

“Oh my god!”

“Not god,” Derek said. “Just a werewolf.”

“Stop it,” Stiles said miserably. “You’re not allowed to have jokes. Mind reading grumpy werewolves aren’t allowed to have jokes.”

Derek’s face softened. He reached out and touched the back of Stiles’s hand, black lines starting to creep up his arm. Stiles sighed despite himself, practically melting into the touch. Derek shook his head.

“No more stupid stunts, Stiles. Please.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You broke two ribs.”

“I was trying not to get killed,” Stiles mumbled. Derek’s face tightened a little and he almost looked… guilty?

“No more stupid stunts,” the man said. “And no more bait.”

“No more bait?”

“We’ll use one of the betas. Or Jackson.”

“They won’t like that,” Stiles said. Derek only chuckled and squeezed his hand a little tighter. The man actually looked sincere. Stiles didn’t know what to do with that.

“I’m the Alpha.”

“Wow, dude.”

“They’ll do what I say.”

“Sure.”

Derek rolled his eyes and removed his hand again. There were no more black lines creeping up his arm, though, and Stiles didn’t really hurt anymore. He just felt tired now. Tired and a little brain heavy.

Maybe he was drugged.

“You are,” Derek said. Stiles grumbled something dark and the man only chuckled, pulling the blankets up to Stiles’s neck. He was a little woozy but he could’ve sworn gentle fingers traced down the side of his cheek before pulling away. But maybe it was the drugs.

“It wasn’t,” Derek said softly. Stiles tried to look at him but his eyes were heavy now too. Derek leaned back as Stiles let them flutter closed.

He might do a stupid stunt once and a while, he decided, if it got him this kind of special treatment. But then the last thing he noticed before going unconscious was Derek growling. Then the man leaning closer, breaths warm on his face.

“Don’t you dare.”

Stiles laughed himself back to sleep.

- -

Okay, this one was super fun. I feel like “No more stupid stunts” is something Derek says to Stiles 24/7 so it fits them perfectly! Thank you for the prompt, nonnie <3

(if you enjoy my writing, consider supporting your underpaid student writer? You can also request a prompt if you’d like!). https://ko-fi.com/rh27writer