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absolutelynotmate-archive · 1 year

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this one and the next- I'VE MOVED BLOGS! if you enjoy this and are looking for more, follow me @formulaforza

c.leclerc x female reader (no y/n, soulmates au) word count: 4.3k a/n: my first f1 fic 🫣 be gentle i'm new here

Can we talk later?

You mill over the text, shaken, unprepared for the what are we conversation just yet, planning on living in the climate-controlled artificial relationship ecosystem for just a while longer. You write out an answer, delete, rewrite until the words don’t look like words and your fingers tap the wrong keys, delete again, set your phone face down on the arm of the couch. Chewing on it for a few more minutes, you attempt to play out the conversation in your mind, pausing here, clipping that short, slowing that down, and then your phone is in your hand again.

You wonder if his phone sits deep in his pocket, buried somewhere in a bag, in his hand while he anxiously watches the typing bubbles appear, disappear, appear again. Maybe he’s as anxious as you, horrified, mortified, all the other -fieds at the thought of a label corrupting this, at the thought of rules and expectations and external opinions.

You can plan it out as many times as you want, you’re always going to get stumped, because, well, you have no fucking idea what you and he are. You’re friends, best friends, the exchange of knowing glances, soulmates, a familiar laughter, strangers, a fading fire, nobody knows. Why, why must this conversation be had? You’re having fun, it’s fact, unwavering and unrelenting fun. Keep on, keeping on, just for now, until things aren’t so fun, and then the serious conversations can be had.

You can’t tell him no, refusing to have the talk would be worse than anything that could possibly come from actually sorting this situation out, from deciding whether or not this version of you will live on, or if it’s time they get buried, locked away far from your mind, replaced by someone new.

Yes, you eventually reply. Dinner, my place?

There’s a pit in your stomach because you still don’t know what you’re going to do, what you’ll say, what your relationship is. His career, his lifestyle, it’s so, so different from yours. He’s home now, but he'll be gone soon, gone a lot, and you can’t just drop everything to follow him around, and you wouldn’t want to. You have no interest in every single move you make being talked about, photographed and scandalized. When you have a bad day, you don’t need the world to know, and when you have a good day, you don’t want to feel obligated to share it with anyone you don’t want to.

He makes you happy, there’s no denying that, and you’re pretty sure he feels the same way, but you’ve been happy before. You’d be happy again, a simple happy, a regular happy. Is he really worth all that?

He’s knocking on the door at seven sharp, bottle of red in one hand, flowers in the other. You blush, because it’s the first time he’s personally delivered you flowers, and he makes fun of you for it, says you’re too easy to please with a cocky grin on his smug face. He asks you to be his girlfriend over the pasta dinner. You say yes, pretend you never had a single doubt, kiss him in the lamp lit living room.

You meet his family in Monaco. It’s your first time on the paddock, first time at an F1 race, and you pick anxiously at your cuticles the entire walk there. You’ve been planning your outfit out for a week, and yet still changed five times this morning. You would’ve kept going, but you were going to be late. You check your purse a million times, terrified that you’re going to forget something. They come up to you in Ferrari hospitality and introduce themselves. His mom is kind and respectful, and hugs you tight. His brothers remind you of him, same laugh, same mannerisms, same sense of humor. “She’s a keeper.” Arthur tells Charles that evening as you all leave the track. He nods, agrees, pulls you a little closer.

You move in together a few months after that, and find yourself explaining the intimate details of the past situationship to your mother over the phone. She’s just looking out for you, curious as to the stranger from another country that will be living with her daughter after only a few months of dating. She was expecting to hear that you’d been fucking for six and a half months before making the jump to boyfriend and girlfriend, but you weren’t expecting her to be so incredibly investigative. “He’s famous, Ma.” You’d told her.

“So if he kills you, I’ll see it on the news before I hear it from the police.” You laughed. She didn’t, and you promised to be out to meet her as soon as you could. You and Charles booked the flights over FaceTime that night.

Your parents had always held out hope you’d move back home, get tired of Monaco and all its pomp and circumstance and come crawling back to a twin bed in the land of dull beige apartments and gray skies. Charles impressing them was going to be twice as hard as it should’ve been, because the mere existence of your relationship was crushing their dreams for their little girl. He is an anchor, holding you steady in Monaco, stationary and happy and far, far away from them.

He’s him, though, so all he had to do was flash those endearing eyes and that charming smile and they were calling him their son-in-law by the time we were eating dinner in the swankiest restaurant your hometown had to offer. You didn’t know it then, but he sat on the porch with your dad one morning and said he wanted to marry you. “Of course, you do.” Your Dad had said. “For your sake, I hope she wants to marry you.”

You did–want to marry him, and you danced with your friends and family into the morning on that summer evening, the air perfectly warm, the sun perfectly shining, a wedding band perfectly sat on your finger. It was the single most fun evening you’d ever had, celebrating the love you have for your husband.

It takes a while to get used to that. Your husband, Charles.

“We’re not, not trying.” He told your grandchildren hungry parents at Christmas. You were mortified, wishing you could curl up into your own skin at the thought of your parents, especially your father, knowing exactly what’s happening in your sex life. It’s a year and three months to the day when they’re at your house in Monaco. You’re on the couch, raggedy pajamas and hair that hasn’t been brushed in three days, minimum, watching Charles carefully place your Mother’s littlest grandchild into her arms. He’s a month old, your son, and it seems like he’s already so big, but when you see him in your Mom’s arms, tiny wool socks slipping off his feet, you’re reminded just how small and dependant he is on you, both of you, to keep him safe from even his own fingernails.

If you thought keeping mittens on the kid or waking up in the middle of the night to make sure his chest is still rising and falling was touch, nothing could’ve prepared you for that little shit learning how to open the babyproofed kitchen cabinets. The terrible twos were indeed, terrible. So terrible, that you’d decided hey, let’s do this again. Dragging yourself to those home races was anxious then, but now you’re chasing around a two year old, hoping and praying he doesn’t say anything or eat anything or, God forbid, break anything.

Somewhere in the mess of it all, Charles was having his best season. The championship was so close he could taste it, and you made sure you were there, front and center, cheering him on when he finally achieved his dream. ‘It’s for my Father, and for Jules, and for my kids.” He’d said, teary eyed. He didn’t need to dedicate it to you, he never needed to prove anything to you, to show you his greatness. You loved him as he was, world champion or not, but you still hugged him with all your might in the middle of the track, still kissed him like there were no cameras and no people watching, because, for that immortalized moment in time, nobody was there but you and him.

He smelled like champagne for three days, and you’re not sure you’ll ever bounce back from the celebrations that night, a permanent hangover and a queasy stomach at the mere mention of a top shelf tequila that shall not be named lingers on for years to come. Everything was perfect, though, and it was all so worth it. Two parents in love, chasing their dreams, a big house on a hill, a little boy and a tiny girl with the world at their fingertips. Your little family was so cliché it hurt.

Before you knew it, you’re dropping your boy off at his first day of school, and you’re pretending not to cry while Charles laughs sweetly, wiping the salt from your face with the pads of his thumbs. He’s gone racing, and you’re splitting your already short time between this afterschool activity and that. When he’s home, he tries to shoulder as much of it as he can, and sometimes it feels like you kiss each other goodmorning and don’t see the other until you kiss again goodnight.

Charles retires when the kids are eleven and eight. They understand, but they don’t. Their father is just their father to them, they can’t yet wrap their heads around the true passion he has for racing, the way it courses through his veins and occupies any free space in his mind, They don’t understand what it’s like to love something so purely, to know it’s what you were put on this Earth to do, not yet.

It gets easier, for a while. There’s an adjustment period, and then you slip into a new routine, one where he tells the kids goodnight, and goes to sleep a few hours later rather than calling from somewhere else in the world and still having a million hours left in his day.

The kids only get older, though, and their lives just get bigger, there’s more responsibility to shoulder, more things that need to get done. They develop new hobbies, add new sports practices and clubs and events to your already chaotic schedule. You’re tired, like, all of the time, and fight more than you ever did before. “I didn’t even want to be with you in the first place.” You said once, in the middle of your messiest argument. You two didn’t speak for three days, no hello, no goodbye, no tired small talk about your days or arguments about spending time with certain kids. On the third night, he slept on the couch and it felt like he had never been farther away. You made up the next morning.

At least, you told yourselves you made up. It only took a few days to slide back into the same stuff, hanging on by a single thread until a new fight came along to be the messiest one. You both tried to keep it quiet, hide it from the kids and your family and your friends, let everyone go on believing you were this perfect couple with this perfect life and perfect family. Nobody needed to know your relationship was going through the wringer each and every day, and you were convinced nobody was the wiser. “Are you and Dad going to divorce?” Your sweet little boy, the one who was now three inches taller than you, asked as you dropped him off for his first day at a new school.

You called off work and went straight home, waited for Charles to get back from dropping off the younger one, and were crying on the couch when he got home. The two of you talked until it was time to pick them up, and then you talked some more in the privacy of your room when you got back. It was the first time in a long time you actually talked to each other. You’d spent years speaking at each other, losing yourselves, losing each other, losing everything that mattered.

“Your parents are so in love,” Your boy’s girlfriend–yes, he has a girlfriend now–said at his little sister’s graduation party. In a few short months, you’re going to be empty nesters, and Charles is taking it particularly hard. He feels like he’s missed out on too much, that his relationship with the kids will never be what yours is. You try your best to comfort him, but you both know he’s right. You weren’t the only ones who made sacrifices for Charles to chase his dream, the kids were forced to share their father with the world, whether they liked it or not.

Charles was an emotional wreck the weekend of your little girl’s wedding. From start to finish, he was moments away from shedding a swimming pool’s worth of tears. He was so happy to see her so happy, and it was bittersweet for him, giving his little girl away, knowing that she didn’t need him anymore. He understood now what your father had meant all those years ago, that it was impossible not to love her, and that anybody lucky enough to be loved should never take advantage of it for even a moment. You danced together at the reception, laughing and reminiscing about your own. You’d asked, jokingly, if he regretted marrying you. “Never.” He said, without elaboration or grand gesture, and you knew he meant it, despite the challenges you’d faced together.

Before you knew it, there was another Charles running around the house, laughing that sweet belly laugh and harboring all the innocence of the world in his big doe eyes. You’ll never be able to explain to anyone how much that meant for Charles, a grandson named after him. It was as if every doubt and insecurity he’d had about raising your kids was silenced. As if you son was telling him, you built me, Dad, thank you

The years faded into each other, both of you graying and aging with an optimistic grace. Your kids threw you a surprise 40th anniversary party, and you thought it was impossible to feel so surrounded by love. You danced to your wedding song, resting your head on his shoulder like you had all those years ago, laughing at his stupid jokes and silently reflecting on everything that got you here. It was never easy, it was never going to be, but it was so worth it, to love him and be loved by him.

And when your memory started to escape you, when you searched for a younger version of him in every room, he stayed by your side as a stranger. In a moment of clarity, ones that were becoming fewer and further between, you’d asked him to promise you something. “Let me go first.” You pleaded, feeling all the weight of a life without him, knowing that if he dies before you, you’ll forget he was gone and be forced to relive the sorrow over and over again.

As your breathing slowed and the sounds of the world faced away, his hand stayed on yours. It’s only a matter of time, now. You’ll be gone soon, leaving behind the wonderful life you’ve created. “Wait for me wherever you go, mon ange.” He whispers in the stillness of the hospital room. “I will find you again.”

– – – –

You see him for the first time at a café. You’re sixteen and don’t even like coffee, but your best friend is dragging you in. He’s working behind the counter, flustered and busy, running around mixing drinks and taking orders. "Que voulez-vous commander madame?” He asked your friend, and she ordered. “Et vous?” I don’t drink coffee, you told him. He smiled, goofy, something familiar in his eyes. You noted his nametag, carefully drawn on with a chalk marker. Charles.

He calls out your friend's name a few minutes after, and sets two drinks down on the counter. Her name is written messily on one, his phone number on the other.

You spend the next month stopping by the shop randomly. Sometimes he isn’t there, but when he is, he makes you a different drink every time, his number scribbled on the side without fail. It takes the whole month before you’re convinced to actually call him, and he doesn’t answer. You leave a message.

Your first date is the weekend, coffee in the morning. Because, of course it is. He pulls out your chair on the patio of the small shop and the first date turns into a second, lunch in the park, and then a third, dinner at your favorite restaurant. Not once do you run out of things to talk about, something vast and unfamiliar and welcoming about him. In the silent moments there is solace, warm and comfortable, like you’ve known each other your whole lives.

Nobody believes in your relationship, not really. You’re fighting the odds from the time you decide you’re not going to break up before going to university. Everytime you catch up with friends from home, they seem surprised to learn you’re still together. Family whispers, tells you it’s not going to last, that you should prepare yourself. But you and he know something nobody else does, acutely aware of the draw and connection you share. A once in a lifetime, once in a millenia, once upon a time love story written just for the two of you.

When you graduated, a cheap, shiny engagement ring on your finger, he was watching with a proud smile and a bouquet of flowers. You went home together, to your dumpy little apartment, paid for by your waitress shifts and his hours at the café. He cooked dinner, you ate off paper plates in the living room and made infinite, optimistic plans for your futures.

You could dream far and wide, but when it came down to it, anything would be heaven if he was there. Cheap dingy apartment and barely paying jobs felt like the lap of luxury with him by your side.

This time though, your story is much more tragic. Lovers fated for a John Green novel, a manic pixie dream girl to live on in montages on tiny phone screens, destined to be someone he thinks of in dark lonely rooms or when someone doesn’t answer his call.

He realizes a year and a half after the abrupt end to your story that he can’t remember your voice, your laugh, your smell. He spends the day watching videos of you, re-memorizing the way you spoke, your mannerisms, you. He’s moved out of the apartment, and your parents have all your things in boxes in their attic. He drives into the early morning, stopping once to use the bathroom, nothing more. When your Dad opens the door in the middle of the night, he gives Charles a heavy hug and leads him to the attic. It’s there, under the A-frame roof, amongst the humid air and cobwebs that you are immortalized. Beyond the dust is everything that made you, you. Forever young and hopeful and in love.

In a cardboard box labeled your room, corners dark and misshapen, he finds a stack of disposable coffee cups, familiar label printed on the cleaned cups, familiar number scribbled on each one with the haste of a seventeen year old boy’s black sharpie. He had no idea you’d kept them, the stupid advances of a shy boy enamored with the pretty girl.

He moved forward, somehow, sometime later. But, he never moved on, looking for your smile, your sense of humor, your heart, in everyone who followed.

– – – –

The next lifetime is spent platonically, a lifelong companionship that nobody else could ever fully understand. You were old souls, cherishing the minute details of the world and longing for something simpler. There was no longing, or waiting to meet. You’d known him for as long as you could remember.

He was a brother, without the blood. Charles the comedic protector, walking on the outside of the sidewalk and then promising to use you as a human shield, a plus one to a wedding when your boyfriend dumped you the night before then did the chicken dance in front of strangers just to get an embarrassed laugh out of you. Charles, who walked so you could run, who jumped to make sure you wouldn’t fall, who held you back so he could throw the punches.

When you met his wife for the first time, then barely his girlfriend, you’d made him promise not to fuck it up. “She’s too good for you, Cha.” You’d told him, because it was true.

When she put you in a purple chiffon cupcake dress at their wedding, he struggled to bite back laughter while you walked down the aisle. You flipped him off with your eyes and he looked to Arthur, who was cracking up beside him.

“He looks just like his Dad,” She said, holding your son in the hospital. Thank God for that, Charles said, and she smacked his arm.

“We can only hope yours doesn’t suffer the same fate.” You said, a smug expression on your tired face.

He went first this time, a million years later. You held her hand at the funeral and kissed the boys’ cheeks, tears pricking your nose when their grip on you tightened.

There was comfort in the grief, something sure and steady in you, this wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last.

– – – –

Yes. Dinner, my place?

He gets there at seven, wine and flowers in hand. Your heart sinks and you’re ready to have a panic attack. You can’t do this to him, he’s too sweet, too kind. He leaves your apartment an hour and a half later, and you cry for what feels like the entire night. The flowers are in the trash the next morning, because you can’t bear to look at them.

“Do we have to watch this?” You asked, sitting on the couch next to your boyfriend. I thought you liked it, he’d said. There was nothing you wanted to watch less than Charles winning his first World Championship, watching him celebrate on the podium, kissing his girlfriend for the whole world to see. You didn’t know how you were supposed to feel, it was a combination of ache, longing, joy, and pride. None of which were your place to be feeling. “Just, turn it off, please?”

You threw up three times on your wedding day. Something was wrong, you knew deep down that you were making a mistake, but you didn’t have the resources or the balls to do anything about it. You knew you’d be happy, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something better was out there somewhere, that your soulmate was walking–or driving–around somewhere in the world. You went through with it though, never knowing for sure the reason behind your tears at the altar.

Things were good, until they weren’t anymore, and you find yourself in the aftermath of a messy divorce and a messier custody battle. You live back in your hometown, the one you swore you’d never live in again, in a beige apartment that doesn’t belong to you. It’s all you can afford, and you need your parents' help with the kids. Not that you found yourself with much time to look back on your life, but when you did, it wasn’t the sunshine, roses, and simple happiness you’d aimed for when you opted down this path years ago. You found yourself wondering, more often than you’d like to admit, about what could have been, about what almost was.

Your son, because the universe is sick and twisted and determined, decides he wants to be a Formula One driver. He must get it from his father, the drive to chase his dreams, because it certainly didn’t come from you and your desire to settle for something simple and regular.

You don’t know how you manage it, the financial aspect of what feels like the most expensive dream in the world, but you do. Before you know it, your leg is anxiously bouncing for what feels like nine straight months. Watching him drive horrifies you, leaves you shaky and exhausted even when everything goes right, but especially when anything at all goes wrong.

Your name on his lips is startling. You vaguely recognize it, turning to a familiar face that matches the maturity of the voice. It’s him, because who else would it be? “Charles?” You say, and you feel twenty-something and insanely vulnerable again.

“What are you doing here?” He asked.

“My boy.” You explained.

“And, his father?” He asked, something strained in his voice. Hope, maybe. Or boredom. You don’t know him the way you once did, and he’s even more closed off than before.

“What about him?”

“Is he here?” He said, hanging, something unsaid stuck on his tongue. You gave him the room to speak. “With you?”

You shook your head. “He’s here, but. We’re. I’m divorced.” You admit, something about it still sounds so taboo, so scandalous. Like it’s something you should be ashamed of. “You?”

“Widowed.” He said, and you inhaled sharply.

“What was her name?” You don’t know why you said it, but it was coming out of your mouth before you could catch yourself, before you could express your sympathy. He told you. You’d never heard a name sound so sad. “I’m so sorry, Charles.” He swatted your words away, shook his head. “What was she like?” His face brightened, like nobody had ever asked what she was like. It was as if he had been desperately waiting to tell someone about her.

He smiled, thought about it for what felt like a hundred laps. Quietly, practically under his breath, he spoke something you were completely unprepared to hear. “You,” He said. “She was a lot like you.”

<3, mack. hope you enjoyed, if you did, please don't be a ghost reader!

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hearts4hughes · 1 year

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hi bestie! could i get 22. “are you serious?!” “what’s wrong?” “there’s only one bed.” with jack hughes ?

one bed - jack hughes

jack hughes x fem! reader

warnings: swearing, intoxicated reader, mentions of alcohol, let me know if i miss anything :)

a/n: i was half asleep writing this. i’m sorry for any mistakes because i just skimmed through the proof read😭 hope you enjoy reading, lovies!

gif is not mine

i’ve been going on vacations with the hughes ever since i was born. my mom and ellen, have been friends since middle school. so it wasn’t coincidental when i became best friends with all the hughes brothers.

well, not exactly with all of them. jack and i have never been friends. i’m not sure what i did to him, but my presence just seems to annoying him. the ironic part about this though is that i also have the fattest crush on him. i’ve learned to live with the fact that we are never going to be anything more than acquaintances.

as we arrive at the hotel, we get out and grab our luggage. luke so kindly grabs one of my suitcases after ellen lectures him on normal chivalry.

“i can’t believe mom is making me carry on of your suitcases.” luke huffs, rolling his eyes as he aggressively wheels the extra suitcase into the lobby. i giggle hitting him on the shoulder.

“oh my god, it’s so much torture to carry a small suitcase into a hotel.” i tease, letting out a fake gasp, causing quinn to giggle.

“she’s right, lukey.” quinn tags along, a big grin spreading across his face.

“fuck you!” luke jokingly yells, scrunching up his face in disgust.

out of the corner of my eye, i notice jack next to us. he wears both airpods in his ears and scrolls through instagram. he catches me staring and mutters a ‘what are you staring at?’. i roll my eyes and decide to just look away instead of arguing.

“what’s up jack’s ass today?” i ask quinn and luke quietly. they both look over to jack, examining his stern features and look back to me.

“probably just being a little bitch as usual.” quinn shrugs as luke agrees.

i notice ellen and my mom making there way over to us. a little packet holds the keycards to our rooms.

“here are the keycards for your rooms.” ellen passed us all out a keycard except for jack. jack patiently waits for his keycard to be given to him, but furrows his brows when it’s not.

“mom, where’s my keycard?” jack asks, looking around to everyone else holding a small card in hand.

ellen shares a small look with my mom, “well, we only got 3 rooms.” she starts to explain, “one for y/m/n, one for luke and quinn, and the other for you and y/n.”

my eyes widen in horror and i begin to wonder if i heard her right.

“i’m sorry, what?!” jack and i exclaim simultaneously. i drop my bag to the ground and look at jack. he looks back at me with the same expression on his face.

“we all thought it would be good for you two to spend together,” my mom chimes in, “you’ve known each other since you were babies, and you still dislike each other. you two are the same age, you should be getting along the best if anything.”

“you guys were in on this too?!” i send a glare over to quinn and luke, who seem very amused at the current situation.

“listen, it’s not the worst idea to force you guys to get along.” luke admits and quinn shakes his head. i send them a stern look of betrayal before looking over to see jack having a frustrating conversation with ellen. i can’t hear exactly what he is saying, but i’m pretty sure it’s along the lines of ‘i hate her and cannot share a room with her’.

“it’s only for one week,” my mom points out, picking my backpack off the ground and handing it back to me, “so suck it up.”

knowing nothing i can say will change what’s happening, i finally accept the outcome and stomp over to the elevator. jack mirrors what i do, huffing in frustration. the elevator ride up to our block of rooms is quiet. i could quite literally feel the tension suffocating me.

when the elevator doors open, i step out and reread the number on my keycard. i scan the row of rooms until i read one that says 207. i don’t check, but i’m pretty sure jack is trudging along behind me. i press the card to the circular lock and wait for a green light to flash. once it does, i swing open the door and throw my belongings on the ground.

walking deeper into the room, i notice one king size bed instead of two separate beds.

“are you serious?!” i sigh out in frustration, running my hands through my hair aggressively.

“what’s wrong?” jack’s voice drips in annoyance and anger. he still stands behind me, my body blocking the view of the singular bed.

“there’s only one bed.”

jack basically pushes me out of the way to see if i’m telling the truth. as he takes a look for himself and quickly turns around sends me an angry glare. this makes my blood boil.

“why are you fucking mad at me?!” i ask. my words are stern and cold.

“because if you didn’t come on this stupid vacation, this wouldn’t of happened!” he yells back in the same tone. he doesn’t even let me respond before he’s swinging open the door to the room, leaving me speechless and alone.

tears begin to swell in my eyes as i sit down on the bed. things don’t usually upset me like this, but jack yelling at me really did. trying to recollect myself, i raise to my feet and walk towards the bathroom. from there i close the door and turn on the shower. stripping down, i step inside the shower, hoping to wash away all the negativity.

it’s been at least three hours since jack and i’s little dispute and i’m currently downing my fourth martini at the hotel bar.

after my shower i walked out into an empty hotel room. i figured jack was hanging out the quinn and luke so i just decided to chill out for a bit. it only took me about an hour to get sick of doing nothing, so i slipped on a black minidress and got ready to go have fun.

being my natural petty self, i didn’t even text quinn or luke where i was going to. i needed to forget everyone for a little bit, so here i am, getting shitfaced.

“can i have a shot of straight vodka, please?” i’m urgent to get more alcohol in my body. the bartender nods, pouring vodka into a small glass and handing it to me. i waste no time before throwing my head back and downing all the vodka. the burning sensation from the drink lingers in my throat for a moment, but i’m used to it. “i’ll take another.”

“i think it’s time you stop drinking for the night.” the bartender denies my request, grabbing the empty shot glass and putting it in the dishwasher behind her.

“i’m not even drunk yet thought.” i whine, knowing damn well i’m wasted.

she barks out a sarcastic laugh and asks, “who broke your heart, love?”

“no one broke my heart.” i scoff. she raises both her eyebrows and looks at me in disbelief.

“what ever you want to believe, honey.” she walks away, assisting to another customer.

just as i begin to get up and leave the bar area, i hear a familiar voice behind me.

“y/n?” jack’s voice fills my ears making me not even want to turn around, but i do.

“what do you want?” i start slur, stumbling as a stand up. jack’s hands shoot up to my waist, supporting me so i don’t fall.

“you are plastered, aren’t you?” he asks. i don’t even bother to answer. i try to wiggle out of his hold and sneak away, but he doesn’t even budge. i throw my hands up in frustration.

“let me go.” i mutter.

“you can’t even walk to inches without falling over. there’s no way i’m letting to roam free around here.” he’s says in a stern tone. he doesn’t seem to be in the mood to argue with me which is a first.

the second time today, i just accept my fate and allow him to bring me up to the hotel room. i ended up not even being able to walk even with him supporting me, so he gave me a piggyback ride the rest of the way to the room.

as he opens the door to our room, he carefully sits me on the bed and shuts the door. he begins to take off my heels and dispose of them in the room somewhere.

he grabs a water bottle from the mini fridge and some advil from his bag. i take the medicine and water from his hands and chug it down.

i close my heavy eyes for a moment and when i open them again jack holds a clean tshirt and a pair of boxers.

“i don’t know where your stuff is in your bag, so it’s just easier if you wear my clothes for now.”

he’s being so nice.

why is he being so nice?

i walk into the bathroom and change into jack’s shirt and boxers. as i pull the oversized shirt over my head, i can’t help, but smell jack’s cologne on it. his scent gave me a sense of comfort and i was confused as to why. while in the bathroom, i also brush my teeth and hair so i’m not a total train wreck tomorrow.

“are you okay in there?” a small knock comes from the other side of the bathroom door and i open it, revealing myself in jack’s clothes. his eyes scan up and down my body. he doesn’t say anything, but his mouth stays open a little. he finally snaps back into reality and helps me to the bed.

as i pull the big covers over my body, i notice that jack isn’t getting into bed next to me, “are you going to sleep in the bed next to me?” i ask, looking at him like a lost puppy.

he stares at me for a moment before responding, “i was going to sleep on the floor, but if you want i can sleep in the bed.”

“could you sleep next to me, please?” i’m scared for his response, but i ask anyway.

“yeah, of course,” he coos, “just let me brush my teeth and stuff.”

i nod in response and lay down, waiting for jack to fill the empty space next to me. my heavy eyes are in need to be shut, but i keep them pried open, not wanting to fall asleep before he gets back.

it only takes a few minutes before i see jack emerging from the bathroom in just sweatpants. i can’t help, but stare at his exposed chest. it might just be my drunk mind, but his abs looked amazing. my eyes begin to go a little bit lower and they stop at his exposed v-line. the sweatpants hang low on his hips, showing just the right amount of his v-line. my throat begins to turn dry and jack blushes as he notices me checking him out.

“like what you see?” he teases, slipping into bed next to me.

“maybe i do.” i smirk, turning on my side to face him. he giggles at my flirty comment.

my smile begins to drop as i take a moment to exam his face. we’ve never been this close before. i notice how blue his eyes look, even in the dark lighting, and my eyes even flicker to his lips for a moment.

silence fills the room as we admire each other and i decide to speak up, “why were you at the bar?”

“well, i was-” he stutters a bit, searching for an excuse in his head. when he can’t find one he admits, “i was looking for you.”

“what?” my brows furrow at his response. it almost seems like he’s joking because why would he ever be looking for me? he couldn’t even stand in the same room as me three hours ago.

“i felt bad about yelling at you before and i wanted to apologize, but when i went into our room, you weren’t there. i basically searched the whole hotel for you before you caught my eye at the bar.” he closes his eyes and turns on his back. i don’t say anything and he begins to spiral, “listen, i- well, i didn’t mean to-”

“jack,” i cut him off.

“yeah..?” he asks, hesitantly.

“kiss me.”

he doesn’t waste anytime, turning to look at me and then smashing his lips against mine. we both sit up and jack moves me to straddle his lap. all the years of pretending i hated him, when i really was in love with him are thrown into the kiss. he slips his tongue in my mouth, catching me by surprise.

after at least a minute of nonstop kissing, i pull away breathlessly. i stare at jack’s face. he wears a proud smirk as his hands rest on my hips. i send him a cheeky smile in return.

“i’m in love with you.” i blurt out.

“i’m in love with you too.”

#hearts4hughes #jack hughes #jack hughes imagines #jack hughes x reader #hockey blurb #nhl imagine #nora's writings 💐

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vagabond-umlaut · 1 year

Text

fairy cakes

two dumb classmates redefining mutual pining. one injured senpai people keep linking you with. zero baking experience in your being.

what could possibly go wrong?

▸ student! gojo satoru x student! gn! reader; wc: 1.6k; background nanami x haibara; lots and lots of fluff; pining; teasing; missions; injuries and recoveries; reader is in denial and acceptance (confusing, ik); (i repeat) soft tooth-rotting fluff (i promise)

▸ belongs to series we're the summer to our winter rain but you can read this as a stand-alone if you wanna!

▸ idk what's happening to me. (another fic, so soon!?!?) (i ain't upset tho.) anyways, gif, divider and characters aren't mine. please don't plagiarize, translate or repost this. enjoy reading! ❤️

"are the cupcakes readyyy?"

the decision of letting these four guys spend the afternoon at your place was a blunder. terribly, horribly, greatly - a historic blunder.

you shoot geto an exasperated look. the boy simply shrugs back, lips twitching, as he takes a water bottle from the fridge and saunters back to wherever the hell he emerged from.

beside you, meanwhile, nanami continues to mutter the ingredients under his breath - the thousandth time in the past hour - making you wonder if you can survive a jump from your fourth-storeyed flat's kitchen window or not.

maybe not, you decide, cracking three eggs open and pouring them into the bowl. and even if you do, it's not worth the risk, anyways. you might've got money to burn but you would much rather not burn it all on hospital bills, thank you.

"hey, they said two eggs, not three," your classmate's solemn voice draws you from your thoughts. glancing at the boy, then at the bowl, then back at him, you feel the corners of your lip lift in a tense grin.

"that recipe you are reading's all wrong," you state, snatching the cookbook from him with one hand and snapping it shut, "my mom always baked me and my brothers cakes in our childhood. trust me, i know. i might've never baked before but it's in my blood."

you watch nanami open his mouth, then close it, then open it again - only to close it. and the metaphorical bulb lights up in your brain.

a teasing smile now carving its way onto your lips, you return to the batter, adding, "don't get stressed, kento-kun. i'm pretty sure yu-kun will looove the cupcakes. just as much as you love him."

a sputter followed by a cough sounds next to you. "hey, that- that's not true. what're you talking about?" the blond exclaims indignantly.

the whisk dropped into the batter, a loud gasp escapes you as you twist to face him. "are you implying your love for yu-kun is fake, then? oh gosh! and here i thought you were a decent person, kento-kun!" you cry out dramatically, placing a hand over your forehead.

"hey, no, that's not it," the boy refutes your claims in an instant. you watch in glee how his otherwise-stoic features grow bashful. "my feelings for haibara-kun aren't fake. they are real. quite a lot so."

"oh, is it so?" you ask in faux-curiosity, then turn to the boy, genuinely wondering, "then why don't you confess to him? yu-kun will accept it in a heartbeat, i'm sure of that."

a couple of seconds pass before the smile falls from your face, giving way to a mighty frown, as you watch the boy next to you grow silent, desolation dimming his gaze as he returns to finding the cupcake moulds.

in your sixteen years of existence, you've always viewed love as... just that. lovely. exceedingly so.

yes, you have never experienced it yourself yet, but everyone else always described it as wonderful, leaving one happy and giddy and just splendid at the end of the day.

then why does kento-kun's face grow grave at love's very mention?

"are you scared of losing him one day, kento-kun?" you ask him quietly, the words tumbling out your mouth before you registering, while you add the other ingredients - brown sugar, cocoa powder, vanilla extract - into the bowl and start whisking them again.

a long while passes - one wherein two excited yells sound from the living room, accompanied by a dramatic whine (you know whose) - after which your question receives a reply.

except, it's your inquiry thrown back at you.

"aren't you scared of losing your loved ones?" nanami asks, just as quietly as you did. in the background, yet another dramatic cry rings through the air-conditioned air.

and your mind, as if on auto-pilot, flies back to that one night a week ago you spent in the infirmary.

the night you felt the most terrified. the most penitent. the loneliest.

the mission was worded to be an easy one, a simple in-and-out kind.

gojo and you decided to visit the ruins of a shrine in nikko, kill the special-grade curse wreaking havoc there, and finally go to the patisserie nearby, he had been singing praises for, for weeks and days at end.

that was the plan, that would have been the reality too - an awesome reality to mark the start of your much-loved summer holidays - until everything went haywire, that is.

there was no one special-grade curse, there were multitudes of them. and if that wasn't enough, to couple that woe, the walls were too, too derelict and weak to bear the brunt of either of your cursed energy blows, let alone your joint attacks.

the tragedy, however, lay not in either of the facts.

the tragedy lay in gojo's and your ignorance of both of them.

before either of you could realize what's wrong, whilst you two were relaxing for a beat, having exorcised all the curses, bodies tired and bruised, the ages-old shrine came caving in on you - the roof, the walls, the everything.

and gojo, being gojo - the absolute self-sacrificing idiot you never knew he could be - chose to turn his infinity off in favour of pulling you under his tall frame, bearing the weight of the crash all upon his back.

the entire trip back to school and everything that happened after is all a blurry mess in your brain now.

save for the metallic stench of blood, the leaden weight of guilt, the sympathetic soft voices and the ice-cold hand you kept rubbing circles on and on, and pressing kisses to, throughout the night till the morning next - when a familiar pair of clear blue eyes opened, blinking blearily, and crinkled in a grin at your sight, raspy voice asking if you would mind visiting the shop a couple of days later.

your cheeks feel awfully wet as you recount those details - and you huff a watery chuckle.

"i too am scared, i guess," you admit in a hushed tone, pouring the batter into the moulds - eight, not twelve, you remind yourself, 'cause shoko went to visit family and geto's going on that date you're forcing him to go. a beat passes in utter silence before you feel a pair of arms pull you gently into a side-embrace.

"i didn't intend to make you cry, sorry," nanami says in a kind voice. you immediately open your mouth, wanting to say it's not his fault; the boy shushes you, continuing, just as gently, "why don't you take a small break, hm? only the frosting's left, right? i'll call haibara. both of us can handle it from here."

betraying your brimming eyes, you throw him an impish grin. "are you sure this wasn't some ploy to get some alone-time with your boyfie?"

"no, it wasn't," your classmate says, rolling his eyes in annoyance, though the smile on his lips tell you otherwise. accepting the napkin from him, you let him maneuver you towards the living room, an arm slung around your shoulders, when he speaks up again, "geto senpai will be leaving for his date in another couple of minutes. he's already ready."

your brows furrow a tad as you glance at him from the corner of your eyes. nanami hates stating the obvious... then why is he now?

"of course, i know that. i was the one who set him up on that date, remember?" you say, perplexed, "so?"

"so..." the blond drawls with a rare wide grin. did the sun rise in the west today or something of the sort?

"you should've realized by now, it was a ploy to get you some alone-time with your boyfie."

an indignant gasp escaping, you twist in his grasp, ready to deny his mind-boggling claims - then stop when you catch gojo grin at you, waving not unlike a maniac, from where he is slouched on the couch.

ignoring the tight feeling in your chest (must have been a heartburn from that stale pizza), you grin back at your shades-wearing senpai, waving just as wildly.

nanami's an idiot - you decide as you sit down carefully next to the white-haired boy - he's still healing, after all - and kiss his bandaged forehead. your two classmates, meanwhile, keep rambling, like the pining fools they've been of late.

ignoring them, you focus on your ruminations instead - yeah, you're certainly not in love with your gojo senpai. it's just that-

"hey, were you crying?" musings broken in half by a gentle thumb on the apple of your cheeks, you peer up at the boy, only to find him frowning, concern clear-as-day behind his goggles.

biting your lower lip to keep it from wobbling, you shake your head 'no' and snuggle into his side, relishing in the warmth he offers, the balmy discomfort of 39°C be damned.

asking you no more questions, gojo simply pulls you even closer into himself; you close your eyes to restrain your tears.

tears of joy.

tears of relief.

tears of something new, something wonderful, you can't name yet, but have a hunch, can soon.

encased in your dear (not beloved, just dear) senpai's comforting touch, your lost train of thought revisits you, waiting to be finished.

a warm smile appears on your lips.

it's just that you'll do anything in this world - without an ounce of reluctance - if it means you always get to see that goofy, careless, adorable, genuine grin on his face, you've grown to cherish so much.

▸ masterlist

#gojo x you #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk drabbles #jjk fics #jjk imagines #gojo drabbles #gojo fics #gojo imagines #jjk fluff #gojo fluff #gojo satoru #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #kit posts 📝

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elcpsstuff · 4 months

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Angsty? Okay.

How about some right person, wrong time stuff? Maybe reader feel first, like 8, but he just think of you like that, so you kept it to yourself. Then one year, since you love the idea of love, reader constantly gets into relationships, whether is good or bad, a serial dater. Finally, Conrad develops feelings, but also sees your dating history and is like “damn no chance”. Then more right person, wrong time trope. He gets a gf, reader pins, vice versa. 💕

The Right One // Conrad Fisher

synopsis: in which Conrad Fisher was the right one who never came at the right time.

a/n: i’m sorry guys.. it’s angst.. part 2? I’m planning it cuz this is sad. also sorry for being so inactive lmfao more coming soon! i’ve been working on my writing :) also lana del rey (specifically how to disappear) was the mood for this :0

warnings: in this fic, y/n is very traumatized. not only is she insecure and feels her love will always be unreciprocated, she is dealing with loss and her mind is scrambling. It will get much better as the story and part 2 comes. :)

—

There was many things in my life I knew, one of them being I had only loved one boy. Conrad Fisher. He was everything and nothing I could ever have at the same time.

Every year I would go to cousins beach, and right next door the Conklins and Fishers lived beside me. That was something I knew would never change.

Until everything did.

“Are you even listening to me?” Belly’s voice rang through my ears, but I wasn’t listening. My eyes were focused on the boy in the pool with Steven and Jeremiah.

“hm?” I looked at Belly who was anything but pleased with me, “oh, yeah.. sorry bells, what’s up?”

Belly’s mouth formed a sad smile, “You never told him.” I knew what she was saying but played the dumb and oblivious role. “Don’t look at me like that, yn. you know what I mean.”

I shrugged, “There was nothing to ever tell.”

There was. I just never did.

Falling for Conrad Fisher at eight years old was never the plan. But the heart wants what it wants.

I had been sitting on one of my mom’s new fancy pool chairs outside that she got for the house when a football bounced down on my pavement.

Immediately following, a boy peaked his head above the fence. He had a smirky type of mouth, one that made you want to kiss him. I had read enough romance novels to pin point that.

“Hey..” He sounded awkward and far off, and I could tell he was embarrassed. “My brother has a really bad throw.. could you maybe toss it over?”

I nodded, too afraid to speak. He was so… pretty.

I picked up the ball and attempted to toss it over, but the farthest it went was the bottom of the fence, and then to the ground. Crimson red took over my face immediately.

“Sorry.. i’m not really a football person.”

He laughed, and something about it seemed genuine. “How come i’ve never seen you around before?”

“We just bought the house. First summer here..” I awkwardly swung my foot back and forth, mentally cursing my social anxiety for being so bad.

“Nice.” He nodded, and there was a quick moment of silence before he added, “Well, maybe you could come over? I’m sure Belly and the boys would love you.”

And that was the beginning of something so wonderful and hideous at the same time. If only I knew.

“Anyways, are you bringing Matt to the party tonight?”

Matt.

Matt was another one of my soon to be failed hook ups. I wanted something real, but everything seemed to be a fail. Could that be because they weren’t Conrad? Maybe.

I loved the idea of love. Hell, I’d read so many romance books and listened to countless music albums and hyped it up. Yet, when the one I wanted didn’t want be back, I plummeted.

It’s not that I didn’t like any of my hookups. They were good, in that way. But as a connection? No.

“Yeah, he’ll be there.” My voice could tell Belly a million things.

“yn.”

“Yes?”

“I’m worried about you.” Belly shuffled into the seat next to me and grabbed my hands. “You say you’re fine, but I know you. It’s killing you inside, I know it is.”

It is. I’m dying inside. “I’m okay. Really. Tonight we’re gonna have some fun, okay?” I squeezed her hands to reassure her, and she nodded with hesitation.

“If you say so.”

—

“How about we get out of here?” Matt’s hand snaked around my waist and I grimaced. I needed more alcohol.

“Yeah, just give me a minute.” I lied, running through the crowd before anyone could say anything. Particularly, judgy Conrad who hadn’t liked any of my hookups.

Fate wasn’t on my side today.

“Hey!”

I turned around to see Conrad walking over to me. He looked so innocent and pretty; I wanted to smack him. I had loved the boy all these years and him being oblivious had turned to me resorting to hook ups. I was no better than my mother.

“You here with me?” Conrad waved his hand in my face and I faked a smile. My thoughts didn’t matter.

“Sorry, I was just grabbing a drink.”

Conrad sighed, “where’s Matty?”

I rolled my eyes, “His names Matt. And we’re about to get out of here.” I regretted the words right away because it would only push Conrad farther from me.

“y/n/n, why are you with guys like him? They’ll only ever prove to be bad for you.” He touched my arm softly, burned. I wanted to say you, idiot!

“What’s it to you? I saw nicole around here somewhere.”

Conrad rubbed his forehead, clearly running out of patience. “Nicole is my friend.”

“You didn’t look like friends.”

“Screw off, okay? It’s not my fault you’re bitter about how much you’ve changed. Everybody can see it.” His words hurt because they were true. I was different, but that was only because everything around me changed.

My mom couldn’t care less about me and my dad is somewhere in the world traveling with his new twenty year old girlfriend. My brother is gone. Gone.

The color drained from Conrad’s face, “I didn’t mean—”

“Excuse me, I have to get back to my classless hook up.”

With that, I walked away, but I didn’t go back to Matt. The tears burned as I locked myself into the bathroom upstairs, away from everybody.

I knew I had changed, I hated it even more than they did. Flashes of the car that killed my brother strayed in my mind and kept me up at night. My brother. Only two years older than me but my everything. Tate. I missed you. I miss you. Come back—

“yn, please open the door.” Conrad’s voice swept through my anatomy like sweet honey. Except I remembered what I wanted from him would never be possible.

No, instead, I would be forced to tolerate it. Tolerate what could never be mine.

“Go away Conrad.” My cheeks were littered with tears.

“Come on, y/n/n.. I didn’t mean it. You know I love you.”

But not like I want you to.

“I just miss you, what we had. We all used to be so close and after— I know. Okay? I miss him too. I know everything fell apart when he died and I fucking miss him too. But this isn’t the answer, just— let me love you.”

You can’t love me like I want you to.

I heard a sigh, and then footsteps faded. Then, and only then, the tears continued and didn’t stop until I couldn’t anymore.

—

I loved her. Her sweet angelic voice and her beautiful laugh. A laugh I could recognize anywhere. Even in a crowded room of hundreds. It was hard to miss.

Would she ever love me the way I wanted her to? Maybe not. But I still wanted her, in any way I could. Hearing her racked sobs at the party last night hurt. I wanted to hug her and tell her it was okay.

I knew I was harsh. Everybody knew it. I hated the boys she went home with though, who never treated her like she deserved. My sweet, sweet y/n/n. If only she saw herself the way I did.

That morning, I went to the guest room, where I know she had stayed. Nights like that resulted in Belly inviting her over instead of letting her go to her own house, in far of what might happen.

I knocked on the door slowly, “Yn? It’s me. I’m not here to fight— I just want to talk.”

Nothing.

“yn?”

Nothing.

I sighed, loosing patience. I wouldn’t play this game anymore. I opened the door quickly and my mouth dropped to see a guy in her bed. He had shorts on, thank gosh, but his chest was bare.

“What the fuck?”

I could hear disheveled noises coming from both of them and once she realized what was happening, she looked scared. mortified.

“Conrad—”

“I apologize and this is what you do? Really? Get with some fucker?”

“Conrad.” She said, more stern but with hurt. I stepped back, knowing my fucking jealousy had gotten in the way once again. It always did.

“Ah— fuck, my head.” The guy slurred, clearly half drunk. I didn’t want to hear it. Any of it. I was sick of loving someone who could never be mine.

“I’m not doing this.”

“Conrad—” She cried, but she would never be mine.

I left before she could say anything else.

—

I fucked up, again.

Joshua— (I think that’s his name?) left shortly after Conrad’s uproar. I hated that he saw, mainly because I was in bed with somebody who wasn’t even Matt, the guy I was talking to.

I went downstairs with the intention to apologize, and heard something else.

“Don’t say that, you know she’s going through things.” It was Belly’s voice.

“It’s just hard, Belly. We’re all going through it, but that doesn’t mean she can just go around with other guys who want to try it on her.”

My heart broke. Not only did he not like me, but he thought low of me.

“Connie, you know she wouldn’t be doing this if you were there for her. She’s always loved you.”

I winced.

“Bullshit, Belly. She doesn’t care about anybody but herself. I thought— that maybe we could— it doesn’t matter. She already has a terrible reputation so i’m not getting involved.”

Oh.

There was no way he loved me, but that didn’t mean he had to humiliate me.

I took the next train out of cousins that day.

—

IM SORRYYYYYY- there will be a part 2 and possible part 3? lmk what you guys want! :))

#the summer i turned pretty #conrad fisher #jeremiah fisher #team conrad #belly conklin #conrad x reader #team jeremiah #tsitp #love #summer love #conrad fisher fic #conrad fisher x you #conrad fisher x reader #conrad fisher fanfic #tsitp conrad

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theflagscene · 2 months

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Wait! How!? When!? Where!? How is White suddenly there!? How did Tee meet White!? You can’t just play upbeat music and have the boys running around to show the passage of time and not explain how the fucking villain of the story got the most adorably innocent lil princess boyfriend on the planet!

Phee, bringing Jin on a date to the same place you and Non liked to go is just weird. I hate people who use the same ‘date’ spots for their new partners that they used with their past partners and no, this isn’t me projecting, why do you ask!? Lmao 😂 shut up it’s still tacky af

‘Friend’ the dreaded word.

What is with the ass slapping and window sex!? I mean, I get that they’re supposed to 18 year old boys, who are by definition perverted, but that was some porn level shit. Also, again, no prep. Phee wasn’t even the one blown so it’s not like they were even using spit for lube, or an already lubed condom. What is this, another ABO show? Just having the dudes slick and sliding all over one another apparently.

Ta’s got a decent ass at least, good for him.

“Did you cheat on my brother?” Nah, pretty sure they broke up when Phee saw him being raw dogged by the teacher and then told him to go die, but whatever helps you sleep at night Tan.

“Don’t fall in love with him.” Yeah, I think it’s too late for that.

Oh, mom is not looking so great. Hmm, something tells me that video isn’t real. Mom knows what’s up, it’s finally hit her, her baby’s dead. The actress did a fantastic job of a mother realizing the truth of the death of her child, it’s a startling realization that does take your legs out from under you. Your mind blanks, you can’t think about anything but the last time you saw them, the last terrible thing you said, all you can do is try not to scream. - That got a little too dark and real, sorry.

news.boc.com Cute BoC, very cute.

How long were Phee and Jin supposed to have been fucking by now? Weeks? Months? Because Jin has gotten very emotionally invested very quickly, which is appropriate for teenagers I suppose.

Two years, so they’d be in their what, second year of uni? Tan has gone full mad scientist I see.

Wait, he called to tell Tan that his mom was dead and it was her funeral that day and he just showed tf up! When his dad thought he was still in England!? Lmao, that’s fricking hilarious. I know, I know, wrong reaction to this scene but I’m weird, what can I say.

Oops, bye bye daddy. No wonder Tan is so fucking nuts! That would drive anyone insane. He literally needs Non to be alive otherwise he’s lost everything for nothing.

Is Tan his own guinea pig for his drugs!? Jesus dude, get some help.

Question, were Phee and Jin fucking during their time at university too? Or are you telling me all this ‘I love him’ crap was from one night of decent dick and a few ‘best friend dates’? Like the math ain’t mathing, establish a better timeline here for me when it comes to their relationship because in the first episode it made it seem like they were screwing around for a really long time, months at the very least. But now it seems like they fucked around a couple times in one 12 hour period, Jin decided that was enough to wanna date, caught Phee in a mood because of the fake news report and then they just… what? Kept fucking? Stopped? Jin carried a torch for him for over two years after one night together? Acted like a scorned lover for years because of a single teenaged tryst? Not to be that guy, but girl, you’re coming off a little desperate. I need a more accurate timeline!!!

“This won’t kill them.” Tan, could you try and be a tad more convincing when saying that?

That was a fantastic look from Tan to end on, ngl. Although someone needs to save baby White!

Next episode, we’re back in the present for the most part it seems. Jin somehow still trusts Phee, Fluke somehow gets the gun back and oh look, he holds White hostage, poor bb did nothing, leave him alone! And Tee clearly does know what happened to both Non and Keng as he runs up onto the roof where his uncle is to see the pair… unconscious? Dead? One of each?

I want some backstory about how White fits into all of this next time as well, that would be great. Although considering how little the timeline of events during grade 12 are fully explained, I doubt knowing more about White would make very much sense at this point.

#Lynn watches DFF #dff the series #dff spoilers #dead friend forever #pheejin #teewhite

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auntieslover78 · 3 months

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Someone keep me entertained from the urge of sending my mom a “ accidental” dick pick to see what happens , I feel like she’d be semi okay with receiving it as I’m her second and last son and always been her baby boy who’s never done no wrong or she’d always let me just learn life own my own but never judged and always was the fun parent and now she’s gotten the bad hips barely gets around or enjoys herself so I’m wondering a spark like that might make her more interested as she always wants to hang out and I gotta go grab her then we just drive around smoke and talk for hours , I’ve always took her used bras and panties , she’s found them before , I’ve seen her tits when I was younger fall out while sleeping on the couch her ass is just and always has been super huge too would always get so hard when she’s bent over in some see through leggings or yoga pants , her ex / old step father would always be perverted in front of me like always slap her ass grab it tongue each other and one time I walked in on them having sex and man even while laying on her stomach her huge ass was still up there and dude could barely get past the cheeks and ugh I’ve had her walk in while I was jerking off , she’s walked in while I was drying off no towel kinda on the creep side but I was younger with a lot of gift cards but I’ve even bought a hidden camera stuck it in her room after she left her ex and man the pics I’d get while at school or some of the things she’d try on for her night out was just great even had one in the bathroom for some views of when grandma would stay over but yeah any tips to really seduce my mom the right way before I just go showing her that the cock she needs and excitement sits in her own sons pants and like my ex caught and exposed my old tumblr to fb once my mom screenshotted it and sent it to me not even mad about the mom things I shared and a little upset about the posts I’ve made about my sister but yeah at this point I don’t even think I’m capable of dating after my ex been addicted to incest since I was way younger being left with cousins in the same shittt life situation as you while your moms go out you tend to try things with family first I’ve had my dick sucked by both cousins on my dads side when I was younger even tried stuff with my one guy cousin more of him sucking me off and us rubbing one another to group family porn , one cousin while upstairs one night we found her older sisters dildo and lube so of course looked up what it was turns out it was a strap on but my cousin still wanted to feel the tip touch the hole but not go in and suck on it while jerking me off this is all while we were the ages of 8-11 so of course my first laptop I got was full of incest porn and pretty sure my moms found that a few times , my brother his first baby momma is our cousin and she’d always be nude in his room door open while I was younger he’d call me in to show me her body , visited her years later new man and a couple more kids stayed the night while her man was at work and after the kids gone to bed she sat next to me on the couch small tank on and tits just free as they can be and she gave the hints of wanting dick from the younger brother was able to play with my other cousin her sisters tits which was nice plus like in middle school I hung out with this one outside ass chick a bit older then me who hung with some pretty weird Middle Aged people I’d walk after school hang with these adults smoking was weird as the one dude was an amputee from the knees down dating a crazy black girl body was nice then the other two were on the spectrum but later down the road I was related to the white lady but while hanging there they’d always ask me if I seen or touched boobs or a virgin obviously said yes to all three but in reality I’ve only seen them a couple times cause of my brother so both chicks would get naked and let me touch their boobs or ass the white chick also gave me a handjob and the black chick eventually after a while would let me finger her and suck her tits and ass was always told I can do those things

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aquanova99 · 1 year

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Haunted (Cato x Reader)

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Part 9

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Y/n’s POV

Your legs struggled to hold you upright. You’d avoided the sleep as much as you could. Only resting when your body physically couldn’t handle anymore. Even then never any longer then a few hours, when their screams woke you from any chance of rest. You realize that you somehow didn’t lead Cashmere to your room at all, you’re not sure when they took over but then again, that’s what your life consisted of now. Living from one day to the next, not entirely present. The woods help, but you haven’t been able to pick up any weapons since you got back to 12.

Cashmere gently leads you to your bed. She tells everyone she’ll keep watch first, and while it reminds you of the games. It also brings you a sense of security that is finally overshadowing the horrors threatening to take you back at any moment. You ponder over Cato’s words. Allies. You could work with that. It dawns on you that there’s likely a reason they know exactly how to handle you in this state and your heart both aches and wonders monsters haunt their own dreams. Regardless, you feel like you can at least finally get some sleep.

“Thank you.” You mumble

“Its not easy, is it?”

“The sleeping? Not really.”

“The living. Its like they left a part of you in that arena. They don’t understand, do they?” Your lips form a tight line. You barely shake your head in response before covering your head with the blanket. It’s exactly what you tried to explain the first week you got back. That was the worst of it. The screams you let out terrified your family. Then their fear turned into impatience. They couldn’t understand why I wasn’t happy or relieved. With the lack of sleep your own patience was hanging by a thread so you simply shut down. This only infuriated your parents who continued to scream at you for being so callous and disrespectful. You were somewhat thankful they hadn’t moved into the house in the victor’s village. You needed to deal with whatever was going on alone. Your brothers however, disagreed and decided to stay with you. They pretended they didn’t hear anything, and truthfully, you didn’t want to talk to them about that stuff anyway. Your mom continued to try and at least speak to you but her concern would quickly turn to anger and you often just waited her out or sneaked out when you saw her coming to the house. You would sometimes sneak back in and hear her talking to the older one about not understanding what was wrong with me. You didn’t understand it either. Haymitch was often the one who you tried to talk to at first but he dealt with his demons differently and you weren’t ready to turn to the alcohol… yet.

So. In the end you went to the one place you knew you could hide, the woods. You were being reckless. A victor, walking straight to the meadow, a week after returning. You walked as if you were in a trance, a hand yanked you before you made it even ten feet into the meadow. You were lucky Katniss dragged you towards her house as if you had planned meeting there. You’re pretty sure she was going to scold you too until she got a proper look at you. She said nothing, just sat with you at the edge of the meadow. When the sun began setting she somewhat pushed somewhat led you back home. The next day she showed up to your house and dragged your out again. She didn’t say anything that day either. The day after your curiosity won out.

‘Why are you doing this?!’ You snapped

‘Because you look like me.’

‘…What?’

‘When my dad left…we struggled. You did too, but back then I was so mad that your father made it out, I couldn’t talk to you anymore. And we stopped being friends. Anyway—I looked like you do right now. No sleep, not eating, trying to not bother anyone with it. I was about to give up. But I got help, and I never got the chance to say thank you.’

You realize immediately who helped her, ‘You mean…’

‘Yeah. When you won, we all saw how hard it was on you. I’ll never be able to repay him, or thank him. But you saved Prim, and me because I would have volunteered.’

‘I don’t want your pity Katniss.’

‘It’s not pity.’

‘It is—’

. . .

‘We could have been hunting partners.’

‘Yeah.’

‘When I figured out how to hunt, I remember wanting to go to you for help. I know you’re the one who taught Gale how to snare. I just wanted to be the one who got to keep something that once. And... I guess I was embarrassed? I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be. I never blamed you for that. I’m more upset you chose Gale as your partner. I would have been much better.’

‘Ha!’ Katniss laughs, before pausing, ‘Look when you were gone I realized I didn’t need to be mad at you. I really am sorry. I want to be friends again.’

You could only nod. Katniss was good at talking when she let herself open up. With Gale in the mines now, you and her spent any free time she had usually just sitting together in the woods. She even let you help out her family with food now. You learned Peetas father only traded rabbits with you but squirrels with Katniss and always on separate days. You were shocked when you learned Gale finally tried to be more than friends with Katniss. You were even more shocked when Katniss wasn’t interested. She never wants to marry or have kids, not with the games. She’d never seen Gale like that. Madge often joined the two of you and it was the three of you simply existing together, or Madge would lead the conversations which you didn’t mind.

The hands that grabbed yours stirred you from your perpetual state of limbo. Shaking you awake. While you were happy to see Cato, you were quite shocked to see him and Brutus arrive. You were suddenly very aware of how disheveled you looked. You noticed how warm Cato’s hands were when he stopped you from further hurting yourself. Maybe you should have worn a sweatshirt. Your entire body slumped, it felt as if you were letting them down. The image of their disapproving glances would be forever embedded in your mind. You had been prepared to let them go to one of the other house in the victors village until at least tomorrow, but Cashmere’s idea was so…well, brilliant. And tempting. To know for at least the next few hours, you could rest. You wondered if Katniss would come if you didn’t go meet her out by the meadow.

Three days before the victors arrived the rains began, house. Your moms were excited to have their kids make friends, so they quickly began talking again, and neither of you wanted to be there for long. You both were quick to find the right moment to leave during the gossiping between the two older women. You had agreed your moms could start making mixtures and tonics for their small apothecary business. And you didn’t need all that food anyway, better it went to those in the seam. Katniss probably preferred her own home to yours and you couldn’t fully disagree. The second there was a lull you led Katniss away from the kitchen and into the living room.

…‘So, what victors did you pick.’

‘Cashmere and Enobaria.’

‘Why?’ You glared at her and she eased back, ‘Sorry, but come on y/n. Careers?’

‘Yes careers. Look, I have to. I…owe them.’

Katniss raised an eyebrow before standing up, ‘It’s hot. Do you mind if we open the window?’

The floors would get soaked. ‘Yeah go ahead.’

She sat closer to you and waited, oh well. You really should tell someone that’s what Haymitch said. Then again, when has he ever followed that advice? Whatever. ‘You know how I got sponsors?’

‘Yes.’

‘They only sponsor people who they think have a chance, thanks to Cinna and my…training score. I had quite a bit. Some of them expect me to pay them back.’

Realization dawns on her face, ‘Not with money…’

You shake your head, ‘Haymitch said Cashmere always has to go to the capitol, I just thought she deserved a break. She’s not the only one, Haymitch said Finnick sometimes has to go more than she does from what he’s heard anyway. And Enobaria… I don’t know. She was punished too.’

You’re barely whispering but Katniss doesn’t interrupt, ‘Punished?’

‘They modified her. Or her teeth I guess. They wanted to modify me. They said they would try and figure out a way for me to not be called back to the capitol.’

You’re unsure if the rain or your stories make Katniss shiver. ‘People aren’t going to like it here.’

‘I don’t think I care anymore. The only person I need to keep happy is Snow.’

‘I’ll play nice.’

‘Nice nice. Or Katniss nice.’

She smirked at your poor attempt at a joke, ‘We’ll have to see won’t we, cousin?’

You could have slept for the next six months. But the four hours sleep brought on a hunger you thought you couldn’t feel anymore. When your eyes fluttered open you found Cato pacing.

“Are you okay?”

He slightly flinches at the disruption, “Hungry?”

You wonder if it should concern you how he seems to always know what you’re thinking, you smile, “Starving.”

A smirk appears for only a second before he sits at the edge of your bed, his leg feverishly tapping. He holds something out, refusing to look at you. “Here.”

“What is this?” You turn over the pen like object, trying to make sense of it.

“If I start getting anything like Arioch or you just feel unsafe use it. You just flip the tiny lid and lick on the button.” You almost drop as you realize what he handed to you, you hold it with both hands as if it could detonate at any minute. You would rather take your chances. Unfortunately, he again seems to know what you’re thinking, “Y/n, listen to me. You have to use if something happens. I move quick.”

“I don’t want it. Why are you giving it to me?”

“It’s just in case.”

“I. don’t. want. It” You hold your palm out flat ready for him to take it back. Instead, he closes your fingers around it. Finally staring you down.

“You have to take it. Please. I would regret if—I just can’t—” He groans in frustration as he tries to figure out what he could say to convince you this is a good idea, “ Just take it. Alright? If I lose it I need to trust you’ll help whoever is around me. That includes yourself.”

You hate that you understand where he’s coming from. While your natural instinct is flight, Cato’s is the opposite. You run. Or hide. Any stressor lately big or small makes you want to run into the woods. Lately you run to Katniss, or hide in your room until someone drags you out. Cato instinct is to fight. You wonder how much training it took to build that up and how much more time it would take to not have that be his immediate reaction. Similarly, while you may feel like a coward, Cato felt like a monster. A menace to others. Rationally, neither of you were either. And you knew that. But you also knew that in the moment its easy to let your body do what it needs to do to survive on autopilot.

You realize the two of you have been still for too long. You are suddenly very aware of warm his hands feel around you and before you face heats up you nod in reply to his request. He seems to realize the same and promptly lets go, he gives a curt nod before standing up.

“Come on, lets go get something to eat.”

“Okay.”

Your brothers seem surprised to see you. “Well, you don’t look so terrifying anymore.” The oldest says

“Shut up.” You push him, “Besides a four hour nap is not going to make much of a difference.”

“Well, it’s a start.” You can feel the careers staring at the three of you talk, as if its bizarre that you talk to each other at all. You realize how crazy you must have seemed earlier, and how inconsiderate you must look like now.

“Sorry about earlier. Thank you guys for agreeing to come.” You turn to Cashmere and Enobaria, and the former walks up and envelopes you in an embrace.

“Thank you for choosing us.” She whispers, you nod and she smiles at you, “Your brother told us the best thing to eat when it rains here is stew so they were kind enough to start cooking for us all. Let me cut up some fruit for you. Iti will be a couple more hours until its finished.”

You’re thankful she seems to realize you cant handle more than a few bites of anything at a time so starting small brings you another small sense of relief. Enobaria comes up and asks if your feeling a little better and you nod. Brutus has already excused himself to the living room before you can get a hello out. Enobaria glares at him but continues to the conversation, “So, Y/n. Have you given much thought to what your special skill is going to be?”

“Special skill?” Your youngest brother asks

“Apparently, all the victors have to have something they’re above average in.” You explain to him. Another fun little detail added to your list of ever growing worries. You try to avoid worrying him and ruffle his hair. “What have you guys chosen?”

“Don’t worry about it, they don’t really care unless you make a lot of special appearances in the capitol. I actually enjoy mine though. I like playing instruments?”

“Really?” The thought of Enobaria finding something brought a smile to your face, “what do you play?”

“Flute.” She smiled at you, she whispers the next part loud enough for the room to hear, “Brutus starting wood carving, and Cashmere…”

“Oh, I do what I can to be disgustingly busy. I model, act, whatever keep my schedules booked. Gives me less time to meet all of my ever so gracious sponsors.” She all bit spits out her next sentence, before pasting a saccharine smile on her face, “Not that they cant find me, of course.”

You get a sick feeling in your stomach again, and your mind races back to that night. You quickly turn to Cato, “What about you?”

“I think I said I wanted to train the kids at the academy. Then I was declared unfit for the time being unfortunately.” No one misses the sarcastic undertone he uses for that final word. “Did you find something?”

“Yes. I want to bake.”

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Cato’s POV

Cashmere dropped the plate she was handing to y/n. And Enobaria started coughing after she almost choked on the water she had just begun to drink, you probably looked as shocked as they were.

“Sorry.” Cashmere nervously chuckled, “I’m just surprised. That sounds like a lovely talent to build up on. It hasn—”

“Upset me?” Y/n smirked, “It did the first time I tried it. Then I burned the rolls I was trying to make, and it made me laugh. It’s the only thing that’s kept my mind…quiet. I should do it more honestly but I was tired and I could barely get the bowl out of the cabinet. But that first week I got back and I realized I couldn’t do anything else, so I made a lot of it. Gave it out to the people in the seam. They liked it enough.”

“Some came out pretty good, even better than some of the times we had some from the bakery.” Her youngest brother bragged for her. You couldn’t help smile at the pride in which they spoke of their sister. You’d learned the youngest one was called Amal, the oldest one Mallory. Both fiercely protective and worried at the state Y/n couldn’t seem to snap out of for very long. A few days of decent sleep should help, but the games had lasting effects.

“Would it be okay if I tried to make some? They would go good with the stew. And I need the practice.”

“Y/n, you realize we’re the guests, right?” Enobaria chuckled, “Do what you want, honey. Mal, do you guys have any board games, we’re going to be here awhile. I could use your help planning activities.”

“Sure.” He looked at his sister, “You’re good?”

“Yeah go.” She waved him off. Amal followed behind them, and Cashmere brought out a book to distract herself. You wondered why she hung around. Probably to have someone monitor you. You had been unable to hide the fact that you were content for the first time in who knows how long when Brutus questioned you. She’d only been asleep for a little over an hour. You had a sense of purpose for at least a little while. His words kept echoing through your mind. You swore your ears were ringing.

You think you can help her?

Just be sure you don’t kill this one.

Enobaria had taken him away from you almost immediately afterwards. While his words stung, he was right. You were dangerous. You couldn’t even give Y/n the damn sedative without almost screaming at her. You wondered why Enobaria had told you take a shift sitting with her considering she seemed fond of her, it should have been a compliment.

“Cato?”

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just distracted.” She smiled at you as she began taking ingredients out for her project. She asked that a lot. Though to be fair, you probably gave her plenty of reason for worry. You tried to order your body to obey you. Stay away, Cato. Keep your distance, Cato.

“Can I help?”

“Would you like to?” Her eyes seemed to light up when you nodded. She was acting too kind. She should keep her distance after all your encounters today. You realize you’d put your hands on her at least twice and the thought of her comparing you to the creeps in the capitol… it would make you sick. You see Cashmere raise her eyebrows at and chuckle at something in her book.

“What do I do?”

Y/n had already measured everything out. She handed you a large bowl, “Just mix these up for me. She mixed her own ingredients before coming back to you, “Okay good just keep mixing while I pour this all in, okay?”

Another nod. You had never had a chance to do something like recreationally. You could see why she picked it. This was a nice break. You wanted to do more, “What’s next?”

“You okay with getting your hands dirty?”

“Yes?”

“Okay” She said in a sing song voice, as grabbed the dough with her hands, “I suggest you wash your hands. We’re going to knead.”

“We’re going to need what?”

She giggles, “Not that kind of need. Just wash up and I’ll show you.” So, you watch as she began forming the dough. You just copied her. Enjoying that your hands had something to do besides fidget. She separates the finished balls of dough in two separate bowls. “We have to wait for thirty minutes. Then we’ll mold the dough again.”

“How’d you learn this?” You say as the two of you wash up?”

“I went to the baker the second my family took their eyes off of me. I think it was late into the night. But you know me, I’m an endless supply of tears so I was crying and begging for them to let me apologize. His mom didn’t say anything, but his dad at least came out to talk to me. I told him I wanted to start baking…for him.” You wondered if she would ever be able to say his name again, “The next morning he brought me a book he put together full of his own recipes. I guess they all have one collective one but he was working on his own. I don’t know how they found it or why they don’t want it, and I don’t care.”

“Do you think you would want to add to it?”

“Maybe. I talked to Cinna about it, maybe he can get some recipes from the capitol. I just— I don’t know, the phone is weird to me.”

“When do you speak to him next?’

“Sometime this week, he’s been calling to check on me.” She sees the look of concern growing on your face and tried to steer the conversation towards a more positive direction, “You’re pretty good at this Cato. Maybe this should have been your talent.”

“hm. I would have never even thought of this. Thanks, by the way. For letting me help.”

“I hope you’re not backing out we still have a little more to do.”

“Of course not.” Amal comes in almost immediately afterwards.

“Hey, Y/n, Katniss is here. Enobaria doesn’t want to spook her she says. So, you need to open the door.”

“And you can’t do it because…”

He thinks about it for a second and shrugs, “I dunno, she likes you anyway.”

He runs out just as quick and you, y/n, and cashmere laugh. Y/n excuses herself and follows her brother. Cashmere closes her book, you wonder how she remembers where she stopped. “So…That seemed…relaxing.”

“I guess it was.”

“She has an effect on people, doesn’t she.” It was question but was said in the way of a statement, or accusation of sorts

“I guess. She never seems…scared by my company.”

“Yeah, wonder why?”

“I don’t know. It stresses me out.”

“Well, you enjoy her company right? You don’t think she possibly feels the same?”

“She shouldn’t.”

She scoffs, “Oh come on Cato. You clearly care about her.”

Care was a dangerous word in a victor’s life. She of all people should know that, “Like you said, she has an effect on people. I just don’t want her to end up like Annie. Or…me.”

“Well. It’s a good thing we’re here, right?”

“Hey guys this is Katniss. I was trying to convince her to take some food for her family but she probably got something better huh?” Y/n bounced in with a girl who was already on the defensive. You had been able to tell that Y/n was a hunter, you could see this girl was the same. You wondered if they worked together.

“You would know if you came out sometime.” She answered. Y/n shrugged but her demeanor had changed. You decided you weren’t a fan of her ‘cousin.’ Still, considering y/n didn’t automatically shut down with her there must be some support offered.

“Maybe, you could show us the woods sometime, Katniss.” Cashmere offered, ignoring the girls initial coldness. Every one’s eyes snapped to hers. “What?”

“You would risk something like that?”

“We risk our lives every day. Wouldn’t be much different/” Cashmere shrugged before returning to her book. Y/n seemed to nod in agreement.

“So will you take some food for later?” Y/n asked after a long silence.

“Sure. Gale hasn’t had much time to go out, I’ll let them have what I got.”

This seemed to please y/n. She led everyone out to the living room while we waited for the food. It felt crowded to you. You stayed near the opening ready to hop back into the kitchen at the first available moment. Amal asked Katniss to join them and Enobaria as they set up a new game she wanted to try. You expected her to say no immediately, but Amal seemed to appeal to her. You remembered her sister, the one y/n volunteered for. Apparently kids are the only people she tries to be anything akin to pleasant to. Y/n leans against the wall next to you.

“Want to hide in the kitchen with me?” You nod and follow her out of the room. You can feel several pairs of eyes trained on you. Though you don’t stay to investigate whose they belong to.

Y/n perches herself on an empty counter, begins swinging her legs, “So how did you get stuck coming here?”

“I was glad Enobaria decided she needed to keep an eye on me and bring me along. I didn’t get stuck on anything. Brutus maybe.”

“Yeah he doesn’t seem too happy.”

“That’s because no one’s fighting yet.”

She chuckles for half a second before she seems to recall something that darkens her expression, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What’s District 2 like?”

You blink, for some reason that’s the last question you’re expecting. “To be honest, the only thing I know is the academy I went to.”

“Well, you had to have done something when you were younger before you joined, right? It’s just—I’m sure you miss home. I feel bad for taking you out.”

“Actually…no.”

“No?”

“No I don’t miss it. And no I don’t remember anything outside of training.”

Her brows furrow, “Wait. How early do you guys start?”

“As soon as your parents decide you show potential I guess. I think my dad signed me up right before I turned four?” You don’t remember much outside of that training building but you couldn’t quite seem to forget the screams as you ripped out of your mothers arms. “My father was supposed to go in on his eighteenth birthday but some guy and him got into a fight. Broke his leg. Couldn’t even be a peacekeeper.”

“So, he forced you to do it instead.” You shrugged, you would say it worked out in the end, but considering you weren’t doing all that great after the games… “He must be proud of you.”

“…No.”

She doesn’t miss a beat, you begin to wonder if she genuinely believes all the praise that seems to escape her lips, “Well he should be. Come on, its time to actually bake the bread. You should be good at this next part.”

You both wash up before you say anything else. You had to remember you’re there to help her, not the other way around. She really doesn’t need to worry about your own problems, “So what’s next?”

She holds one of the bowls out, “Punch the dough. Wait let me put the bowls down I don’t want to be knocked out.”

You’re surprised at the size of the dough. This recipe was definitely made for a bakery. No substitutions. No wonder she was confident it was enough for everyone. You look at the giant pot cooking. They seemed prepared to cook for more than one family. She laughs as you weakly punch the first bowl. “Is this for your family too?”

“Nope, my dad won’t accept handouts. I just give my mom money for whatever they need, he buys whatever excuse she uses. Katniss is taking some for her family, and I plan on making Haymitch eat. If there’s any left I can find someone at the hob or seam in general to take them. Now I know you can punch harder.”

You obey and find yourself finding the whole thing humorous. You’re about to ask how you did but as you turn you’re met with Y/n opening her hand to send a small cloud of flour at you. You aren’t exactly sure how you know what’s happening but you get your own covered in flour and spread across her face. You begin throwing and swiping at each other, Your own laughter sounding foreign to you. It had been awhile, and yet since you’d arrived you had been more relaxed than you had thought possible.

“Okay, okay truce!” She laughs, “You win.”

“You started it to be fair.”

“True, I think we both needed to have… something. You know?”

“Yeah, I do. But we made a mess.”

“Yeahhh. I’ll start cleaning. Can you shape the rolls?”

“If you show me how first.” She smiles and gets several trays out, she lines it with some kind of paper, and demonstrates how to small to shape the bread. You find your eyes don’t seem to stop watching, she begins shaking the flour out of her hair when Katniss and Enobaria come in.

“What happened here?” Enobaria exclaims. You open your mouth to try and explain nothing dangerous occurred when Y/n speaks up.

“Oh I forgot he’s never dealt with flour before so when I told him to grab some and drop it on the counter he grabbed too much and it got everywhere, and then I made it worse when I tried to stop him before it was too late. I’m about to sweep it all up.” You wonder she immediately covers for you. You know its best, Enobaria would believe her over you in a second. How she knows when you need help is beyond you. You remember the first night you met and how she diffused the situation with Brutus. How you’d felt indebted to her since. You glance at Katniss and can tell immediately she knows she’s lying. You continue focusing on the task you were given. By the time you finish y/n is ready to grab the trays and transport them to the oven.

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Y/n’s POV

Four years old?? It was no wonder the end of the games had left scarred and hollow. He knew nothing else. You wondered how any parent agreed to that. You hoped he would find a chance to find himself as separate from the games. You hoped to know him then too. You stop yourself from getting too hopeful, at the end of the day Cato, and yourself would never separate from the games. Every year you would be forced to relive it. Hell, in six months you would need to do just that for the victory tour. Where you would meet all the families of the tributes you had a hand in killing. Thresh, Rue, Marvel…Peeta. You would come face to face with people who hated you and wished you dead, that you had been the one to fall. You could never blame them. You often wished the same. The only bright side would be that you could apologize to someone, instead of screaming at whoever haunted your dreams that night to take you instead.

“Y/n.” You really should try and not zone out so much, “what happened?”

“Sorry. Just thinking about the victory tour.”

“You still have a few months.”

“Yeah I know.” You had agreed to go out with Katniss in the morning, Madge said she would try and join you as long as her father didn’t try and keep her in some lecture or meeting. Today it was just the two of you. Better to not have Katniss force herself to interact with the careers until she could see that they were just like you. A product of the hands dealt to you. Slaves to the capitol. Their stories seemed to make the slightest of cracks in Katniss. While she would often say she only cared about Prim, Katniss simply cares. She’s says you have to be born a healer like her mother and sister, but in her own way Katniss is just that.

“They weren’t terrible.”

“Oh?” You both chuckled as you ate the breakfast you supplied for the two of you. Today would be all snares. You would try and worry about fish tomorrow. Anything else is fair game, well you say that but you haven’t made any effort to shoot something down. She made a decent haul, for maybe one family and some decent trading at the hob.

“Give it to Hazel. They have more mouths to feed.”

“I don’t want to take more food from you.”

“Okay keep that for your family then. Gale will love if I just give his family money to buy food tonight.”

“He doesn’t have to know.” She grumbled

“Yeah because you know Hazel or Posy wont let it slip, right?”

She let out a sigh of defeat, “Fine.”

“Don’t worry Katniss, you’re paying me fair and square. Who else would hang out with me?”

“You’re ridiculous.” She rolled her eyes, “See you tomorrow?”

“Yep!”

You stop by your old home and leave an envelope with some cash in the window of the kitchen. You wonder if your dad will ever admit to him needing some kind of help. You think about going to see Haymitch, but you also know he’ll be too hungover this early for guests. Back home it is. You think about how you’ll have a new routine for a while, and dread when it will have to come to an end.

“You slept better last night.” Enobaria greets you

“I did have backup.” You smile at her, she gestures for you to meet her in the kitchen where a cup of tea awaits you. “I wish you guys never had to go.”

You must have said that rather grimly because Enobaria rests her hand on your arm, “We don’t have to worry about that for now…But believe me, I think I may be growing fond of this place.”

You smile and let warm liquid sooth your throat, “What’s the plan today?”

“We are going to talk about the games and any questions you have. Technically, we have lessons on customs for every district but we will ease into those. Today you just ask away. Just because you half slept one night doesn’t mean you’re ready for anything too intense.”

“What’s the overall goal?”

“For you to sleep on your own. And for you to be able to use a weapon again.” You don’t need to ask why you would need that second part, “Exercising can help with a lot and when you realize those tools don’t always have to be weapons anymore…well maybe you wont sleep with a knife under your pillow.”

You didn’t. But, truthfully you didn’t sleep at all until last night, so I guess that makes sense. You’d learned Haymitch did and so did Cato, and you wouldn’t put it past Brutus. You feel as if there is more to what Enobaria is saying but those goals sound exhausting enough as is.

“So, where’s everyone else?”

“Cashmere is organizing the lesson plans as we speak. Cato is probably tossing in his sleep. Brutus is probably out of commission again since he decided he would stay with Haymitch.” Your blank stare makes her laugh, “I know. But I also know how much of a clean freak he is and considering he came in twice last night for supplies, I’d bet he just fell asleep from cleaning.”

“So, it’s just us for a while?” She looks slightly nervous at the question and nods, “Can I start asking questions?”

You see her release some air, “Of course.”

“What do you in the training academy?”

She blinks as if she is trying to recall everything that happens in the building, she was forced to grow up in, “Everything. When your young…god I hated this part. They would start by trying to make you cry. They would put you in a room with toys or tell you your parents were here to pick you up, basically anything to get you hopes up. Then they would immediately terrorize you or tell you that you’ll be unwanted unless you win the hunger games.”

You turn on the same mask you wore when you were forced to watch the recap of all of your fellow tributes dying. You learned that they would run until they physically collapsed. Some kids began trying to fail so they could get kicked out and return home, only to find that they had disgraced their family. If you weren’t quite meeting expectations you were forced to go into peacekeeper training. Boys and girls had different dormitories, the older kids of each room would be forced to attack the youngest one to enter the room every time they aged up, only stopping when the victim would stop moving. They would fight against each other didn’t matter the gender weekly, the harder opponents you faced and defeated would mean you would get more points added to your score. The highest eighteen year old was then selected to enter the hunger games. They day before the reaping the boy or girl with the highest points in any age group could challenge the volunteer. You remember Clove being fifteen. You avoid asking what she did to get that spot. You trained every day with whatever weapon you wanted to perfect. When they weren’t handling weapons they would be running or swimming, or figuring out hand to hand combat. They would practice ambushes, and would torture them to get them to figure out new ways to escape from possibly stronger opponents. She tells you at one point they will wrap a rope around your neck and you have to figure out how to escape before choking out. No one is allowed to discuss that day’s training. They would often times be starved on occasion to make the kids angrier and more likely to pick fights, weed out the weaker ones.

“…I used to wish I was from any other district. But you’re trained to believe it really is the best thing that could happen to you. Win a fight, get points, have a certain number of wins on your belt, get an extra day off.” They only got one day of rest, and no one could do anything but sleep those days. You learned about the extra survival classes that were offered on top of the already long and brutal ten to twelve hour days. You could trade in those points too, use them to call or see your family. Only the younger ones opted to do those. The older kids saved them up for chance to make it to the games.

“Then you win the games, come home to a family who has no idea who you are besides a bragging right. And if you lose, your family is next to shunned.”

Her voice is low and you can no longer hold in your tears. You do the only thing that you can think she need and embrace her. Your life was hard, but you knew before you were more than someone who was going to die for the capitol. Enobaria, Brutus, Cashmere, Cato…who were these people outside of the games. Who did they become when they realized killing did not bring them honor? How long did it take them to accept that murdering their fellow tributes left the hollow, angry, lost? Were the nightmares something they were used to or was it a byproduct they were never warned about? How much exactly did they leave out?

You don’t find it in you to say you’re sorry. Enobaria did not want pity. You step back to give her space, “You are all so strong for making through the program alone. I could never—”

“I’m not all that strong, you know? I actually almost lost my games.”

“Wha—really?”

“It came down to us two thanks to mutts and weather. Even running into each other was an accident. A girl from ten. She was strong. Besides the 1, 2, and 4 its 10 that makes the most winners. Or the ones that get the closest to winning. Anyway, I thought I would be faster. I don’t even know what I was thinking besides that that was it, it was now or never. Anyway, she had the weight advantage, somehow pinned me down after the very bloody fight. The only thing nearby that could actually end me was a rock, just out of reach. She had to lean to try and get it, she moved just enough to snap my arm out and then I remember rolling. I was desperate. I thought it was my ticket home… I bit down… sometime while we began rolling in the dirt.”

You think about the desperateness that would bring someone to bite another person. How scared she must have been. You also understood. Dying in the beginning while unfortunate, at least it was quick. But to make it to the end and lose knowing you were so close, I mean to see your chance of going home slip from your fingers at the very end… You didn’t doubt that last tribute was the one who haunted Enobaria’s dreams the most.

“I remember screaming after I stood up. Not in victory but shock at what I had actually done. The cameras wont show it for long but I actually tried to stop the bleeding in her neck…When I woke up I found my teeth like this. And I became a monster.”

“You are not a monster. What they did to you…It doesn’t define you. I know it doesnt.” It cant, you start to think but as you say those words you realize how little you believe them. Like you were now expected to be, Enobaria was a puppet to the capitol. Her alterations rendering her to likely be alone forever, unless she was with fellow victors or training others to follow in her footsteps. She had said she refused to ever train at the academy and you couldn’t say you blamed her. You wonder about the repercussions for refusing to train more killers, more victims to the games, more victims to the capitol. Enobaria smiles weakly, knowing your words couldn’t be farther from the truth. Then again… you think about Cecelia, you knew she had made a family of her own, you wonder how she managed to do so and how she would manage if her kids were reaped.

“Isn’t this a cheery discussion?” Cashmere came in and patted Enobaria who gave a sort of broken laugh as she wiped her face.

“Hey, she asked.”

“Its true. I really am sorry I was just—”

“Don’t be, I don’t think anyone has actually cared how I felt about everything. I didn’t think it would be that emotional. Why don’t you go relax for a while? I want to see what Cashmere has set up and I probably need to compose myself and make sure Haymitch and Brutus didn’t kill each other.” She wanted to keep herself busy. You understood that.

“Could you check on Cato for me?” Cashmere asks, “If he’s asleep be careful not to wake him up by his upper half, he can be a bit jumpy and well... you know about the knife.”

“I know.” Great. Why did I have to wake him at all? You wondered if he was sleeping any better. You know Cato had been ‘keeping watch’ when you finally woke up. He only smiled briefly, said good morning and disappeared. You were pretty sure you woke up once in the middle of the night but you weren’t sure who shushed you back to sleep. When you find him in one of the other rooms you have to stop yourself from rushing him and asking him to wake up. He’s hunched over, it reminds you of…Peeta, at least when he was sick. But the similarities stop there. It was clear he was having a nightmare of his own, there were small beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He almost looked sick. Sounded sick. As if he was forcing back pained cries or whining. You wonder what happened when someone got sick in the academy place, you shuddered thinking about it. After worrying he may actually be sick, you decide to check. You look around, you look over him, one hand is tucked under his pillow, probably clutching the knife if you were to bet. Damn. You’d have to wake him. You over by his legs barely shaking him before jumping back. His arm already swinging as you stand up.

He has to blink a few times to get a hold of his surroundings, “Y/n? What are you doing? You could have—”

“That’s why I woke you up from down here.” You interrupt, you didn’t want him to keep thinking of you as someone who was weak. Someone who needed constant help, or supervision. You do need help but he worries too much. And you already owe him a lot. You sit at the foot of the bed, “I just want to check your temperature.”

“I’m okay.”

“Will you just—” You decide to stop asking and press his hand against his forehead and then his cheek, “You feel like you just visited the sun.”

He still seemed shocked you had reached over and actually checked. “I don’t feel sick.”

“Be honest if you felt sick would you say anything anyway?” He says nothing, “Yeah didn’t think so. I’ll be back.”

You rush down to the kitchen and pour another cup of tea and add some honey. You make sure to grab some fever pills and bring a couple of those. After debating it you make some toast as well and head back up. You half explain what’s happening to Cashmere and dash back upstairs as quickly as you can. You find him in the same position you left him in. Sat up, elbows perched on his knees, eyes down, mind entirely elsewhere. You sit on the foot of the bed again, checking to see if his temperature is lower, it wasn’t. He winces at your touch but doesn’t protest.

“Sorry.” He mutters

“You’ve literally done nothing you have to apologize for, here: eat, medicine, drink.” He nods, and starts chewing at his bread. You realize orders are what he’s used to and you immediately feel guilt slam into you. You feel your hands reach up to your arms as you wait, you start scratching with one finger, then tapping, you should stop yourself. You know exactly what this leads to but at the same time, it helps you realize where you are. Stops you from flashing back to the games. Cato uses one hand to grab one of your own and bring it down away from your body. He doesn’t say anything this time. Just keeps absentmindedly eating, and you wonder if he even realized what he did. You wait until he at least takes the medicine before standing up.

“I think you should try and get some rest.”

“Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“...Thank you.”

“Sure, Cato. I’ll be back in a bit to grab the plates.”

“Can you just... stay?”

“You want me to stay?”

“I could use the company.” You felt your own cheeks heat up but felt your lips elicit a small smile and nodded, he moved closer to the wall, “I wont swing at you I promise.”

You sit closer but with your feet still hanging from the edge, in case he needed to get some rest without you there, “Sorry I’ve been making you guys have uneven sleep because of… everything. You shouldnt have taken a shift if you felt unwell.”

“I think it’s a habit to just ignore those things. I’m sorry too by the way,” You look at him, not wanting to keep interrupting him again, “You don’t have to keep me company. You don’t have to feel forced to be near me at all really…”

The way he says ‘forced’ is like a slap in the face, you realize why he kept tensing every time you would be around him, even after he requested. It wasn’t because he didn’t want you to actually say yes, or because he was being polite… “Wait. Do you think I feel forced to be around you? Is it because of the party?”

He doesn’t look at me, “Honestly, the last thing I want is to make anyone or well you to feel like you did with that…guy.”

“Yeah he was a creep. But Cato, I genuinely enjoy your company, I have since the training center, besides I feel like you should be tired of me by now. You’re always helping me out.”

He let out a sigh, “Oh thank god. I thought I was making you upset.”

You laugh, “Nope.” You both smile at each other before you realize he still hasn’t had very much sleep, “You really should sleep.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Can you try?” He lies down and shrugs

“Sleep isn’t going to come.”

“Yeah I know…You know when my Amal was really little he would only sleep if my mom or I rubbed his back. Especially when he was sick. Maybe I can keep watch, just you know maybe don’t hold on to the knife.”

“That’s not your job,”

“Well you cant do your job if you’re too tired to do a good job.”

“Fine. I’ll try.”

“Good.” You wonder why back scratches feel so comforting when you’re sick. Within minutes Cato’s body seems relax. Tension visibly leaving as his breathing begins to get steady. You wonder again, how often he had to pretend he wasn’t sick, and if he was punished for it. After about thirty minutes you decide he is well enough asleep. After two more hours, Enobaria brings you some food and informs you Haymitch and Brutus haven’t in fact, killed each other yet. You only manage to place the food on the nightstand when Cato wakes.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

“You’re still here?”

“I told you I would keep watch.”

“But you actually stayed here?”

“Yes?”

“Why?”

“It helped me sleep to have someone watching out for me. I figured I could do the same for you.”

“Well…thank you.”

“You sound surprised.”

“Usually, people listen to me when I say I’m fine.”

“Well, you also lied about feeling sick, so I just have to assume all your gut reactions will be lie about what you’re feeling.”

“I guess I do. I don’t try to…”

“I know. I do the same thing, remember? We’re all broken here.”

Cato starts to get up, slowly, as if he has to think about which muscle needs to move. “Im so tired that. It’s exhausting.”

“Tired of what?”

“Being broken.”

It sounded stupid to say ‘me too,’ especially when he had been fighting his demons much longer than you have. You just nodded and turned to him, a mistake. He was much closer than you anticipated. His eye were a piercing blue, you looked down, finding yourself unable to move, “I uhm…I wish I could help.”

“You help a lot more than you realize.”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Taglist: @chloe-skywalker @ietss @tomihoeka @chiimiki @akinatrix @inky-sun @themedsaintworkin @tiktoks-aphrodite @fredweasleysgirl16 @callsign-haze @thestrals-and-firewiskey @dreamsarenicer

#hunger games cato #hunger games #the hunger games #catching fire #mockingjay #tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #cato hadley #cato x reader #cato hunger games #hunger games cato imagine #cato imagine

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centralperkchenford · 3 months

Note

HEY!! I’m just wondering if you could do a fic where Tim tells his sister he’s going to be a dad, Genny tells him how proud she is of him, Tim tells her his worry’s about being like their dad and they talk about their past..

[just a Bradford sibling scene]

I hope you enjoy!

Oh sister, (brother)I will help you out Oh, if the sky comes falling down For you

“Hey.” Says Tim sitting at the table across from Genny. He crosses his legs underneath the table and the uncrosses them. He’s not sure why he’s so nervous, this is his sister. Genny raises her eyebrows at him clearly sensing his nervousness.

“What’s up? Why did you want to meet?” She asks and there’s a pause. “Is Lucy okay?” Tim’s lip twitches a little bit at his wife’s name. Lucy is absolutely fine, Lucy is pregnant with their first child and though it was a bit of a surprise especially since she had to pull from an UC OP, it was absolutely amazing news.

He was going to be a dad. Lucy was going to be a mom. They were going to be parents.

And now he was going to tell Genny she was going to be an aunt. He knows she will be thrilled and will love this little baby so much.

“Lucy’s fine. Great actually. We planned to tell you this together but she has to work and—” Tim trails off and Genny’s eyes widen a little.

“What?”

“Lucy’s pregnant. We are having a baby.” He says. Genny’s face immediately breaks out into a smile.

“Oh my gosh Tim!” Genny says and she jumps up from the table to hug him. Tim feels himself relax a little. “That’s wonderful news.” His sister is beaming and he can’t help but smile too.

“Yeah.” He says softly as she sits back down. “It is wonderful.” Genny smiles at him and reaches out to squeeze his hand.

“What’s wrong?” She asks. He blows out a breath and looks up at the clear blue sky. He’s excited and he has been on cloud nine since he found out but the was this seed of doubt pushing through

It was a little voice inside his head that sounded a lot like his father’s. Berating him. Telling him he will never be good enough. Tormenting him. You are just like me son.

“What if I’m like dad?” He asks. Genny reels back a little bit, their father was a sore subject with them. They never really talked about him, he was not Tim’s favorite subject and Genny understood that.

“Tim. You are nothing like our father.” She says fiercely. “You have come so far. You have grown so much and been through so much. And somehow you come out stronger every single time.”

Tim stares at her, the words rolling over in his mind but the seed of doubt still there and growing. It’s tight in his chest and he knows he should talk to Lucy about this too.

“What if I’m someone who shouldn’t have kids?” He asks Genny. “Just like dad? Lucy is going to be a great mom. She already is. She just has this instinct about her but—”

“And you will make a wonderful father Tim.” Genny says. “You have already proven time and time again you are not dad. You never will be. You are such a good man. You found the woman you love, a job you love. Friends and family. Dad never had any of that. He was miserable and you are already proving that you are 100 times the man he ever was. Just by talking it out.”

Tim nods and Genny squeezes his hand again. “I’m so proud of you Tim. You made it through with Isabel and dad. I know it wasn’t easy but you did it.”

“Lucy pulled me out of my spiral.” He says. “I had this darkness and she just made it better.”

Genny smiles. “Lucy is pretty great.” She says and Tim smiles in agreement. “But you are pretty great too Tim.”

There’s a long silence and it’s only broken by Tim tapping on the table nervously. “Do you think we would be where we are today if it wasn’t for dad?” He asks. Genny sighs and leans back pushing some hair behind her ear.

“I don’t know Tim. I didn’t—you protected me.” She says. Tim nods running his hand through his hair. He did protect Genny from their father, he always got the brunt of it. And he would do it again. He never wanted his little sister to be as scarred as he was, traumatized even though she probably was in her own way.

“If I didn’t have all these scars. This trauma of dad..” Tim says and he wonders where he would be. He joined the military, became a cop, got married to Isabel. Divorced Isabel and met the love his life in the middle of all that. He wonders if his father hadn’t been a abusive bastard if he would even be a cop.

“I hate that you went through that Tim.” Genny says. “I’m so grateful you were there to protect me but I hate that you went through it.”

This time Tim squeezes her hands. “I would do it for you Gen. you are my sister after all. It was my job.”

Genny smiles sadly. “You were just a kid Tim.” She says. Tim nods and maybe he wishes things went differently but it wouldn’t change anything. And he would still protect Genny.

He will protect Lucy and their child, he will protect everyone he loves. And he’s going to do his best not to be his father. He can’t be because he already loves this baby more than anything.

“I’m excited for you Tim.” Genny says breaking the silence again.

“You are going to be a great aunt.” He says. “Just don’t spoil my kid too much.”

“Oh like you don’t spoil my kids?” She snaps back. “And I can’t wait to be an aunt. This baby will know nothing but love.”

Tim smiles and nods. That’s his goal, to show this baby and his future children exactly what a family is suppose to be. Love. Unconditional support.

Tim’s phone rings and he smiles when he sees who it is. Lucy. He answers and puts it on speaker phone.

“Hey Luce.” He says. “Genny’s here with me.” Genny looks down at the phone.

“Hey Lucy congratulations. You guys are going to be great parents.” She says and Tim can hear Lucy shuffling around.

“Thanks Genny. You are going to be a great aunt.” Lucy says. Tim smiles at the look on Genny’s face and he knows she’s excited. Just like he is.

He’s going to be a dad.

He has known that for awhile but it’s finally setting in. He’s going to be a dad like he has always wanted with the woman he loves more than life itself.

“Hey Tim. I got to go but I will see you when you get home.” Lucy’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts.

“Okay bye Luce. Love you.” He says and they hang up.

Genny smiles at him. “You know I’m just gonna use this baby to talk smack about you right?” She asks in amusement. Tim groans. Angela said the same thing. But really he wouldn’t have it any other way.

He had a wife and growing family and family and friends who loved him and would do anything for him.

Genny was right, their father never had that. And he was so grateful that he did have it. That he could be the feather he always wanted in his life.

He couldn’t wait to shower this baby with more love than he ever got. He couldn’t wait to be a dad.

He couldn’t wait for Lucy to be a mom and Genny to be an aunt. For his nephews to be cousins.

And he knows this is just the beginning.

#chenford #the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #tim x lucy #chenford fanfic #chenford fic #anon answered #lucy x tim

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sipsandfables · 5 months

Text

Unfiltered Thoughts While Reading: Fourth Wing

⚠️⚠️⚠️BEWARE OF A BEVY OF SPOILERS ⚠️⚠️⚠️

Chapter 1

I really like Mira so far - not too sure about their mom yet lol

Is Brennan REALLY dead? Lol Could be a page pulled from Red Queen

Their mom might have been Manon in an alternate universe

“Decide, Violet. Are you going to die a scribe? Or live as a rider?’”

I love the relationship between the two sisters

“He's the most exquisite man I've ever seen.”

I mean, Xaden does sound pretty hot. I’m a sucker for dark hair and dark eyes lol

“Flaming hot. Scorching hot. Gets-you-into-trouble-and-you-like-it level of hot.”

🤣🤣🤣

Nooooo! I had a feeling Dylan wouldn’t make it 😭

Chapter 2

Jack Barlowe - even his name sounds like a dick

Chapter 3

So there are four wings, with 3 sections in each wing, and 3 squads in each section making it 4 wings, 12 sections, and 36 squads total

“I will not die today”

Chapter 5

so Violets mom opposed General Melgren about the rebel children - wonder if they have animosity

Lol well Violets plan of getting Ri to ask her questions didn’t work 🤣

Damn, does her mom hate her? Why would she send Violet to do this??? Lol

Chapter 6

Aw, I really hope Brennan isnt actually dead and it’s a plot twist because he seems like a character I’d love

Chapter 7

It’s so strange that the people with the most motivation for revenge (rebel children) are put in such high power by training to become riders WITH MAGIC AND DRAGONS

Oh and look, a bunch of them are gathering to scheme even though it’s illegal for more than three to be seen together lol

Violet hanging out in a tree while passing judgement on this group is hilarious

“‘Fascinating. You look all frail and breakable, but you're really a violent little thing, aren't you?’”

Alright, I admit that I love their dynamic lol

Chapter 8

I’m surprised Dain didn’t see her rendezvous with Xaden since they touched and he can see memories

I wonder if the decrease in the number of dragons willing to bond speaks to the fact that the dragons’ don’t align with humans like before

Omggggg I hope Violet gets the black one! If dragons bond with humans like them, it would make sense because she’s so smart

Omg was the one and only rider of the black dragon Brennan?! The last time he was seen was five years ago which is when Brennan “died” and the teacher looked at Violet when he told the story of how the rider died

Oh I got it wrong, Brennan was the rider that was trying to be resurrected

Omg i totally thought it was Jack volunteering to spar Violet. I’m glad it’s Xaden instead hahaha

Chapter 9

Violence? I love the nickname haha

“Beautiful. Fucking. Asshole.”

🤣🤣🤣

Am I the only one getting hot and bothered by this death match? Lollll

“Defenseless women have never been my type.”

Okay sir 👀🥵

Man, I get Dain is her bestie but he is trying way too hard to get her out of the rider squadrant - just believe in her

Chapter 10

Theory time: the rider who died trying to save Brennan was his lover. He didn’t do it for fame, he did it because he loved Brennan. The black dragon is going to take Violet as his rider because of the special bond his rider had with her brother. BOOM

I already liked Ridoc before because I resonate with cracking jokes through hard times but now I like him even more and respect him

Violets squad: Sawyer, Pryor, Trina, Tynan, Rhiannon, Ridoc, Violet, Aurelie, and Luca

I hope everyone on this squad stays alive because I like them and their dynamic. I also hope Sawyer gets a dragon this year 😭

As I read the Gauntlet practice scenes, I just picture the final challenge on Wipe Out 🤣

Aurelie 😭😭😭

“Do not make me ask three times.”

👀 or what Zaddy?

“What makes you a rider is what you do after people die.”

Things I like about this book so far:

Female lead is not annoying. She’s very logical and the writer SHOWS that she’s smart instead of telling

The pacing is great. What a page turner! And the chapters aren’t impossibly long. The book is long but it doesn’t FEEL like it

The romance between the main ship is not cringe! They’re dynamic is hot. He’s hot. She’s hot. It’s all hot

There is more than one badass female characters! It’s giving Throne of Glass series (Aelin, Manon, Lysandra, etc)

Chapter 11

Does that mean someone will be punished for not burning Brennans things? Or does it not matter because Brennan is ALIVE?!

okay, so there’s a lot of representation in this book and I’m loving it (people of color, gay, they/them pronouns, etc)

I mean if Dain REALLY cared about her survival, he’d help more! He would have watched her practices and given her ideas on how to make it - not continue to try to get her to quit!

Violet is a fucking badass. LETSGOOOO

I also love how shameless her mind is when describing how sexy Xaden is lol

Also, I notice that Dain isn’t mentioned AT ALL during this whole thing about her making it through the gauntlet. Shouldnt he have been there also defending her win???? Sus

Chapter 12

Ahhh there’s a Feathertail? Maybe THATS the one that she bonds with since they abhore violence and are smart (sounds like Violet)

OR the Feathertail will report back to the black dragon about Violet and he comes during the Threshing 👀

Damn these dragons are heartless! Poor Pryor. But also, humans are heartless - Tynan and Luca can jump off a cliff

I hope that the awesome conversation Violet and Rhi are having throughout this walk means they’ll get awesome dragons

OMG finally someone I dislike diess LOL freaking Luca. Bye Felicia

Chapter 13

Hmmm, if Violet hasn’t felt a connection with the feather one so far then I don’t think they’ll bond. Maybe she hasn’t felt a connection because the black dragon wasn’t on the walk and Tynan will bond with that gold one to teach him a lesson about strength?

I wish Tynan also got burned to a crisp during presentation

Threshing is giving me “Manon and the Thirteen must fight others for Wyverns” vibes

Okay, maybe the gold dragon IS her dragon lol

I’m proud of Violet for coming to the Gold dragons defense but I’m relieved that Xaden was there with his dragon hahaha

Chapter 14

I FUCKING KNEW IT! It’s the black dragon! Here to claim Violet!!! Fuck yes!!

This fucking dragon is hilarious. I love him already

“"My name is Tairneanach, son of Murtcuideam and Fiaclanfuil, descended from the cunning Dubhmadinn line."

Tairn, this dragon is so sassy hahahaha

SHE FALLS OFF?!

Chapter 15

“You’re making us look bad. Stop it.”

I’m ded hahahah this dragon 🤣 He reminds me of Venom in the Venom movie with Tom Hardy lol

“Was everyone’s dragon a curmudgeon? Or just mine?”

💀💀💀💀

“"You are the smartest of your year. The most cunning. You defended the smallest with ferocity. And strength of courage is more important than physical strength.”

❤️❤️❤️

SHE FUCKING BONDED WITH BOTH?!

What. A. Legend.

Chapter 16

Damn, even the head dragon isn’t a huge fan of this? Now I’m concerned because General Melgren is obviously a bad guy lol

I’m so glad Sawyer got bonded this time around! And Rhi and Ridoc are bonded!!! Yay!

Poor Trina

Tairn told you to stay with Xaden and you’re not LISTENING!

Oh I didn’t see the dragons bond coming!!!

Damn Dain, that’s cold. But I knew it - he’s no real ride or die bestie!!!

I really do like Violet but her undying faith in Dain is pissing me off

Strange how Dain kisses her after all this time only because she has TWO bonded dragons 😒

Chapter 17

But if you really think about it, Violet didn’t take any available dragons away from others - Tairn hasn’t been seen in five years and Goldie was unwanted and a surprise at presentation

“Your puny gods”

lol I love Tairn

Chapter 18

Yes! Finally Violet sticks it to Dain. I’m tired of his shit too

Omggggg poor Jeremiah. That was brutal

the golden dragon can freeze time?! What a badass power!

chapter 19

Dang, Xadens rejection to Violet had ME in my feelings - what do you mean you wouldn’t sleep with her to keep her safe?!

Omg Andarna is adorable - she better not die EVER

Ohhhhh, a Feathertail is a baby dragon?

I bet it was Imogen who opened the door for those people to kill Violet

Chapter 20

Based on the intro of this chapter, now I’m thinking it was Amber because she’s the only female wing leader I can recall

Yep, it was Amber!

Also, I love their squads banter and camaraderie lol

Fucking Dain - you’re the worst

I’m glad they were able to show undeniable truth since SOMEONE refused to believe her 😒

Chapter 21

I love that there’s even more representation in here with the hearing impaired scribe

Liam sounds hot lol

Something sus is happening with this war

Chapter 22

I’d be staring too 👀

So our boy Jack is allergic to oranges hmmm? Funny how a guy that talks so much shit can be killed by produce. Just saying

Okay now I’ve reached the “when will they get it on?!” Point lol

Xaden is just giving out hot compliments left and right 🥵

FINALLY! It only took two dragons fucking for Violet and Xaden to finally give in lol

Nooooooo! Damn Xaden for thinking straight lol

Chapter 23

I see what Rhiannon is hinting at - that Xaden is only the most powerful rider in their generation for NOW because it was before Violet got here lol Gotta love that bestie support!

Man Dain really needs to step up - he’s giving Tamlin vibes right now

I knew Jack was allergic to oranges! I hope he’s dead!

Chapter 24

Damn, still alive

A guy burned himself alive with his own power?! Man, this squadrant is insane and brutal

Violet’s mom is cold as ice

Chapter 25

the most valuable thing would be intel! They should think like a Scribe, like Violet

Liam and I are on the same page!

Break into the Commander’s office?! This could go horribly wrong! What if they see stuff they’re not supposed to?!

“‘Scribes freak me out. Quiet little know-it-alls, acting like they can make or break someone by writing something down.’”

🤣🤣🤣

Alright, pretty badass plan

Chapter 26

Mira!!! I’m so glad they got to see each other and that Rhi got to see her family 🥰

Omg mated dragons can only be a part for three days?!

It’s strange that earlier in the book they made it seem like Tairn hasn’t been seen for five years but if he’s mates to the blue dragon, wouldn’t he be seen wherever Xaden is?

Chapter 28

I love how intense and dangerous Tairn is one minute and super cheeky the next haha

FINALLY JACK IS DEAD! Fuck that guy!

And yessssss, Lightening Wielder sounds badass!

Chapter 29

I swear if Andarna dies in this series, I’m going to RIOT. She’s so pure and wonderful 🥹

“Get the fuck away from her with that nonsense.”

Xaden does not mince words and I love it haha

Xaden and Tairn’s pep talk to Violet is way better than Dain’s

I mean she has a point about her powers. They’re badass but yeah, pretty destructive lol

Chapter 30

Well this escalated quickly 👀🥵

Pretty awesome that dudes take contraception lol

Xaden is responsible for all the rebel children?! Omg I bet it was her mom that gave him those scars! That’s what he meant when they ran into the commander previously

I’m not a fan of when the male lead says “Don’t fall for me” like bro, it’s too late - I’m invested haha

This training session with Carr is hilarious lol

I think I like professor Carr more now

Chapter 31

I’m pleasantly surprised she comes right out and says “yeah I’m probably going to fall for you if we keep this up” lollll most characters in this position stay in denial until it backfires lol

“He really does have an incredible body, but he doesn't get to dictate what I do with my heart.”

Preach girl

I’m living for all of page 393 - you go Violet!

Damn, I really like Violet lol

Chapter 32

🔥🔥🔥

Cheaper 33

Phew, thank goodness it was a fake drill!

Hmmmm, something tells me this fake war is about to get real

Omg why is Andarna so adorable?! Tairn will carry her like a human dad carrying his baby in a bjorn lol

Idk that “I’ll miss you, Violet.” from Dain was a little SUS. He was way too quick to make amends with her decision. Something fishy is going on

Xaden and the other rebel kids in the fourth wing are also acting sus. Like they know more about this scenario than they’re letting on. Why are they all so tense if it’s just a game? Why did Dain’s dad give Xaden a weird look?

Chapter 34

did the Gryphons start attacking after unification because Navarre took something from them and made it harder for the Gryphons to get it back after unifying nations?

Ah! I had a feeling the Gryphons and their riders weren’t so savage as the Navarre historians and leaders want people to believe!

Chapter 35

Okay, we can recover from this Violet! Sure everyone including your two bonded dragons and the love of your life lied to you over and over BUT it must have been for a good reason. I’d give them the benefit of the doubt over Dain and the others any day

Okay Violet really believing Dain would break rules to save people is ludicrous. I like Violet but her thinking on this is stupid

Theory time - Violets mom killed their dad because he was in the know about venin and ready to go public

Another theory - Dain and his dad have known about venin this whole time. Dain’s being used to help continue to cover it up. He’s also been lying to her technically as much as Xaden has been

I fucking knew it! Dain has been reading her memories this whole time! Duh girl!!!

The real question is if more than just Dain and his dad concocted this plan to kill Xaden

If Xaden dies, there’s a chance Violet would die because of their dragon bond so wouldn’t her mom know that? But would she even care? Or mayb her mom is like The Hound from the crescent city series

Chapter 36

“We’re riders. We defend the defenseless. It’s what we do.”

Damn, so General Melgren can’t see the fate of people with rebellion relics? Good

The level of stress I have reading these last 80ish pages is HIGH

I don’t want anyone in this riot to die! Or the Gryphons and their riders!

maybe her mom knew she’d survive because of what general Melgren can see? Which might explain why she was fine with making Violet become a rider

Whyyyy would you say “we actually might survive this”?!?! Now people will die!

“It’s been. My honor.”

I am unwell

😭😭😭 Liam

Chapter 37

So many emotions rn fucking hell

Chapter 38

Omg if they are going where I think they’re going I’m going to be shooketh ARE THEY TAKING HER TO BRENNAN?!

Another theory - the reason why the number of dragons willing to bond is decreasing, is because more dragons are bonding with the rebels and not the Navarre military

Violet is annoying me with her thoughts about Xaden right now though. Girl, you saw and fought that evil and you still mad that Xaden didn’t bring you in sooner?! Get over it and live lol

The person Xaden is asking to save her HAS to be Brennan - he was a mender

Chapter 39

we’re getting a Xaden chapter?! Is this the end?!

Something doesn’t feel right - did she lose her memories? Why is she being so nice to Xaden right away? Sus

Oh good her memory is back! I was about to be pissed if all of book 2 was her trying to recall book 1 lol

What happened to Xaden’s mom?! Sounds like another storyline 👀

Andaran became full grown?! Can wait to hear what she looks like and her special power

BRENNAN I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!!

Well if Violet didnt trust Xaden before, she definitely won’t now! Keep a dead brother secret seems pretty big lol

I wonder what Tairn thinks of Brennan since his rider died saving him

also, I’d be low key pissed at my sibling! I wonder if Mira knows about Brennan. I assume not - maybe he thinks she’s too much like their mom?

Me after finishing the final page:

#fourth wing #rebecca yarros #violet sorrengail #xaden riorson #dain aetos #bookish #book review #bookish thoughts #rhiannon #ridoc fourth wing #fourth wing review

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