#*swipe*

[comatosebunny09]

“He would never say that.”

It’s fanfiction.

“He would never do that.”

It’s fanfiction.

“I can’t stand when people write him as—”

Fanfiction.

“Can y’all please stop mischaracterizing—”

Altogether, now: fanfiction.

[ramblingcoyote]

I swear I was just trying to put a cute Vash picture as my lock screen, I didn't take into account where the lock button was

[brainrotcharacters]

When irl pisses me off, I rewatch the Honda Odyssey scene to relax

[pinkthxt]

ExHusband!Simon Riley and his ex-wife who always made him lunches

Simon Riley wasn’t really the kind of man you’d expect to take care of himself, at least not in the long run. Sure, he showered, brushed his teeth, etc., etc.

But the one thing he always forgot to do was eat. It wasn’t on purpose—the man just never remembered, always justifying his forgetfulness with things like:

“Forgot my lunch at home.”

“Not really that hungry.”

For a man who was constantly working, training, and using his body like it was made of steel, it was expected that he would put some nutrition into it—but he didn’t. At least, not now. Not after he and his ex-wife finalized the divorce.

Simon remembers the days when his pretty little wife would pack his lunches into one of those lunchboxes that could heat up at certain times, keeping his food warm and ready.

Or when he’d dig through the damned thing, sometimes burning himself in the process (he’d always be too eager to turn it off before sticking his hand in). Just to see the note his pretty little wife would leave him, saying things along the lines of—

“Love you, soldier. Have a good day!” With a kiss mark next to it.

Sometimes, he would even keep the note, but he wouldn’t mention it—just gave her a sweet kiss when he got home.

When he was deployed for weeks—months on end—he’d hate the shitty food he was given, always craving a home-cooked meal from his favorite girl. Thinking about her at the stove, cooking something up for him—always for him.

Now, he sat on a foldable hard plastic chair, one of those shitty ones you could store in a closet. Glancing down at his palm, his eyes flickered over the note—her handwriting. He imagined what she would’ve cooked for him today.

Simon liked to imagine she thought about it too. He wondered if she ever cooked things he liked, just for the hell of it. Even if their marriage ended the way it did, he hoped she still thought about him

masterlist ⋆.˚

Sooo… my first post!

[ashenquill]

Tim seems like the type to have a Snapchat story dedicated to his crashouts

He frequently posts videos of himself yelling about the idiots he encounters in his daily life, and people live for it.

Tim, in his car: I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF BAD DRIVERS! IF YOU WANT TO DRIVE LIKE A PRE-SCHOOLER, THEN PULL UP IN THE LITTLE TYKES COZY COUPE, MOTHERFUCKER. I AM TWO SECONDS AWAY FROM REAR-ENDING YOU! AT LEAST THEN YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO GO THE FUCKING SPEED LIMIT

Tim, barely visible and whisper-shouting in a dark closet: If I have to deal with Lex Motherfucking Luthor one more time I might just have to commit a felony about it. Because what do you mean you "aren't familiar" with our DEI policy outline???? We've been doing business for years????? We've had this EXACT CONVERSATION, like, TEN TIMES--

Tim, not even bothering to find an empty room: I should have stayed an only child.

Dick’s voice offscreen: Huh?

Tim, deadpan: The only good outcome of having siblings is that if they threaten to kill me, I might actually get a fucking break —— assuming they can grow a spine long enough to actually make good on their threats, that is.

Dick, in the background: C’mon, Tim you guys just quit fighting— Damian, stop- DAMIAN

Damian, now in frame, making a spirited attempt to free himself from the upside-down hold he has been wrangled into by attacking Dick’s ankles: I only wish to give him what he wants, Richard!

Dick: No, Dami, what did we say about- STOP BITING ME

Tim, staring deadpan at the camera while the others fight behind him: I have never envied Jason Todd more in my life

[soapcloth]

Catching Soap taking pics of you in an airport terminal...

You try to ignore it. Maybe he was taking a picture of the airport in general, maybe it was a selfie- either way, you’re not about to confront a man that looks like bootcamp and protein powder incarnate in the case that he is.

Once boarded, you find yourself beside a kind-looking older woman that lets you have the window seat, the prior incident readily forgotten as you settle in. A flight attendant crouches beside her, but you pay it no mind, too busy prepping your in-flight comforts to watch on while the woman gathers her belongings and vacates the seat.

You lean back, waiting for take-off.

"-here you are, Sergeant- once again, we're deeply sorry about the seating mix-up with your partner- a-and thank you for your service, we hope you'll continue to fly with us."

That snaps you out of your thoughts.

Looking up, you find the man from earlier staring down at you with a pleased grin. After a beat, his head swings back around to the flight attendant.

"Dinnae worry 'bout tha'- just glad it got sorted."

He tosses his carry-on overhead, arms bulging with the movement before he plops himself down into the seat beside you, an exasperated grunt passing his lips. He lifts the seperating arm rest, thick legs spreading out so your thighs touch.

"-um?"

He clicks his tongue and jerks his knee into yours. "Saw ye' looking at me in the terminal, would be a shame t'leave ye' be, aye?"

[sashthesloth]

[✔️] Use custom world state

[leveragecentral]

Leverage: Redemption (2021-present) The Swipe Right Job (S03E06)

[speckled-jim]

s3 armand tryna sneak

[iilmunchkiin]

Hey chat sorry for dying im cookie running my kingdom rn

i like him a normal amount.

[ Kofi☕]

[gutsroses]

Sharing this wip cuz i rlly like the sketch

[arhvste]

“this is killing me.” kuroo mumbled as he tossed his phone to his side. “just trust me bro,” his best friend-turned roommate bokuto grinned. “this works everytime for me i swear!”

kuroo sighed before grabbing phone again to refresh his instagram story views once more. several people had already viewed the post-gym mirror selfie he’d taken in attempts to garner attention from one particular follower of his; you. “maybe it’s too cringe…” he muttered while over analysing the photo that had already gained a couple of likes within the twenty minutes it had already been up for. “nah.” bokuto reassured him and pat his friend on the shoulder. “you look sexy.” kuroo stared back at the two-toned haired boy. “… thanks bro.”

this isn’t something kuroo would typically post but times were tough and he was desperate. he’d seen you around campus but luck was not on his side when it came to scheduling and the two of you barely had class time together. yet the little class time you did share, kuroo hung onto it tightly and would let scenes of these weekly one hour classes replay in his head more often than he’d like to admit.

“i feel like a modern jay gatsby,” the ex volleyball captain huffed. “my selfie is the equivalent of the wild parties he’d throw in hopes to get daisy’s attention except i don’t want to post every night, i’ve already made myself cringe with this one post.” bokuto stared back at his friend blankly. “yeah… whatever that means.” kuroo frowned back “it’s a classic, you should know what i mean!”

how much longer was he going to have to wait? bokuto had promised him quick results with this method and so far he’d felt deceived and lied to. if talking to you when he got the chance wasn’t enough to get a conversation going outside the classroom, then social media seemed like the next best attempt to start interacting more.

what were you doing? why weren’t you viewing his story? could you even see his story? did he accidentally block you?

these questions ran through his mind as he quickly rushed to check to make sure he hadn’t for some reason blocked you from seeing his story. he half wished he did because then at least he’d know what on earth was taking you so damn long to see the photo he was increasingly starting to hate more the longer it was posted.

“this is stupid.” he stated as he faced bokuto who had zero concerns in his method in gaining someone’s attention. “it works you just have to wait, trust me.”

kuroo frowned as the little red hearts of others who weren’t you fluttered from the bottom corner of the photo. “look!” his best friend grinned as he leaned over kuroo’s shoulder and pointed to the screen of his phone. “you’re getting likes on it!”

“what’s the point if they’re not likes from the person i posted this for in the first place.” kuroo grumbled back in response. he couldn’t believe he’d been subjected to such an attempt to gain some attention from you. it was ridiculous.

it had been about forty five minutes since he’d posted it and he was slowly losing his mind. sure, the post was going to be up for twenty four hours (if he didn’t give into the voices in his head telling him to delete it) so forty five minutes was nothing, but the minutes were beginning to feel like hours and he was dying inside. why weren’t you viewing it already and what could possibly be keeping you off your phone right now?

“this is stupid.” he decided as notifications from his old team mates started to flash up on his screen. the last thing he needed was lev replying with ‘looksmaxing’ to a post that was secretly dedicated to you. “no, it’s barely been up!” bokuto whined. “you look hot so you should get some replies anyway what’s the big deal?”

pinching the bridge of his nose, kuroo huffed. “the big deal is the person i posted this for hasn’t replied!” what was the point in making sure to go to the gym during a rest day just to take this photo if he wasn’t going to at least make his existence more known to you? he’d even worked his legs enough to the point of managing to achieve the sweaty but sexy look. the muscles in his legs were dying, but his dignity sure as hell wouldn’t.

the college student opened up his phone with the intention to end the mental war inside his head once and for all by deleting the post altogether. bokuto watched his friend in defeat but his eyes flashed. “yes they did!” he yelled and pointed to the screen as your name flashed at the top of his screen.

kuroo’s heart jumped at the sight of your profile picture he’d made a daily routine of staring at and the now blue dot indicating a message from your profile in his inbox. to think he was going to delete this post just a second too, what were the chances?

psyching himself up, kuroo took a few quiet deep breathes before letting the time next to your message pass for a few minutes. he wasn’t an instagram warrior by any means, but he knew enough about general rules in order to not look desperate online.

bokuto watched over his friends shoulders as the two stared in anticipation awaiting the message kuroo had been dying for. this was it. leg day two times in a row was gruelling and he’d regret it for the next few days but it would have been worth it. the countless messages from his old teammates mocking his attempts at a thirst trap could be looked past now that you had finally given into the bait he’d so carefully laid. this is what he’d been waiting for. days of preparing and deciding how to gain your attention had finally paid off and he was about to reap the rewards he’d sown.

clicking the message with baited breath, his heart raced as bokuto’s grip of his shoulder tightened. finally.

‘the label on your shirt is sticking out, make sure to cut it’

“a wins a win.” bokuto filled the silence between the pair as kuroo stared at his phone with a blank expression. “… a wins a win…”

[aardvaark]

the mark being normal to sophie (incredible grifter who can get anyone to fall in love with her if she chooses) but way more into harry (man who tried to claim he was 5 inches shorter than he actually is so he can be a "short king") is so funny and real. everyone is bewitched by his loser energy and absolute lack of charisma.

[lindseymcdonaldseyelashes]

Leverage: Redemption 3x6- "The Swipe Right Job"

[beaft]

BG3 is really testing me because my natural inclination in all situations is to be like "well, i think you should do what is best for you :-) <3" and then my companions are inevitably like "i want to kill an angel" "i want to ascend to godhood" "i want to become the most evil vampire in the world" like can we take it down a notch . please

[overlord-of-chaos]

Okay anyone else still on Parker casually dropping "Me, you, Hardison, that's fine, that's working" in the context of discussing dating with Eliot or just me