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miniimapp · 2 years

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Every Hero Needs a Sidekick - Robaire

Gen ;; Action + Romance (Enemies to Lovers??) - Story

Warnings ;; Violence + Mention of Weapons (Guns)

Proofread + Edited ;; Absolutely not mate, have you seen any of my writing before ??

Word Count ;; Guess bitch lmao

Auth. Note ;; WELCOME TO DAY 13 OF THE 4*TOWN CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN !! Post 2 of the day lmao

I'm thinking this might be a new hero based au :DD

Enjoy !! <3

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You've learned two very important things since your being hired by the hero corporation: patience is a virtue and being a sidekick fucking sucks. Here, crouched behind a bunch of crates crowded near the entrance of the warehouse you could potentially die in tonight, is where you decided to analyse the choices that lead you to this moment.

As one of the corporation sidekicks you don't really have a set hero that you work with, you've worked with many though you do have the ones that crop up more often than most. One being the leader of world-famous hero group 4*TOWN.. Ro.

Look, you're not saying you deserve world fame, or even want it, but it's funny that you're the one running around, kicking ass while he barks commands at you and does next to nothing. Okay, well, he does actually do a fair bit, but still! At the very least you're doing the same amount of work and yet he gets fame and admirers and a shit ton of money and you get nothing? Not even a thank you half of the time? No one even remembers your name yet they can remember these guys entire autobiography because?

All you're saying is if the corporation has enough money to give 4*TOWN their own penthouse office then they have enough to give you a liveable wage.

Speaking of money, you hope they have a slightly heftier paycheck waiting for you when you get back after this mission. It's probably the most dangerous one you've been on yet and you've been lobbed in with Ro so the least they can do is pay you properly for your time.

It's a pipe dream, of course, but it keeps you going.

"Focus, mon amour. If we fail this mission you know what will happen.."

A scowl forces its way onto your face before you're even able to register it and you begin to grumble under your breath, "Yeah, I'll get all the blame and you'll still get praised no matter what.."

You sigh and force yourself to concentrate on the mission, saving your frustration for later.

Suddenly, words start flowing out of your ear-piece and into your ear giving you both a multitude of instructions, "Make sure keep out of sight you two, this is a stealth mission above all else. If you're seen you'll have to take down everyone in there and that's a death certificate waiting to happen. Be careful and we'll see you back at headquarters soon." You hear a click in your ear signalling that the line has closed.. so much for a fucking guide..

"Hear that, be extra careful because this is a stealth mission. Wouldn't want you messing things up after all."

In an attempt to centre yourself once again, you pinch the bridge of your nose and take a couple of deep breaths. God, why were you paired with this motherfucker..

"Being a sidekick has never been more annoying than right now.."

Ro hummed, "What was that?"

You quickly shook your head, "Nothing. Let's go, shall we?"

Ro smirks at you, "I thought you'd never ask."

Huffing out a sigh, you stand up from your crouched position and make your way towards the warehouse. With a short hum you reach for your utility belt, patting around for your grappling hook. See, while you had teleportation as you gift you weren't fond of using unless necessary, too much jumping caused nosebleeds and 12 hours naps. Not ideal.

Annoyingly enough, Ro doesn't seem to share your less than ideal side effects, being able to change his voice to mimic anyone or anything without so much as a sore throat afterward. If you were being honest, you have to admit that his perfect, amazingly strong powers do indeed piss you off, but you're not honest, not about this. Insecurities are dangerous on the field, an unreliable variable that can easily be turned against you just as much as it can encourage you.

You aim and shoot your grappling hook with practiced ease, soon feeling the sudden weightlessness of being pulled into the air. You note Ro following suit, just a second behind you, and continue forward, pulling yourself up onto the warehouse roof and looking around for an opening.

You practically tiptoe over to the warehouse's skylights, contemplating how much force you'd have to put into prying it open. Not much apparently, seeing as Ro brushes past you and slams as much force as he could into the skylight frame with a hammer he got from god knows where with all the stealth of a bull in a china shop.

Let it be known that you'd asked to take this as a solo mission before anyone gets too caught up in blaming you.. god, pay is going to be grim this week..

Obviously the people milling about inside the warehouse notice your.. entrance and, evidently, they're not happy about. At least, this is what you gather after being pushed through the hole Ro created in the ceiling and then immediately cowering away from the shit show that starts up.

Apparently, no one thought to warn that going out on a mission with Ro would leave you in the middle of open fire. Seriously, did no one think about this beforehand? Because a warning would've been nice, just saying..

No time to lament over the thoughts of your agency, unless you want them to be your last it seems. After a bullet skims the side of your face you throw yourself behind a unit packed with boxes upon boxes of what looks to be a gold dust of sorts. Not your problem either way, all you need to do is detain any villains, report to your bosses and then watch a "real hero" get all the praise. No, you're not bitter, shut up, you're just a little tired of being cast aside is all.

You press on your ear com and word vomit to whoever on the other end of the line, "Listen, I think we need emergency backup because we've got all hell breaking loose over here."

"Afraid we can't assist you at the moment, our hands are full until further notice. Keep us updated and stay safe." The line clicks closed once again and you're left reeling.

What in the ever-loving fuck could they possibly be doing that they can't spare one person?

"Mon amour, I need some help over here. I'm surrounded."

You let out a silent groan and teleport yourself back up to the hole in the roof so you can look over the whole warehouse. Clutching at your chest in in attempt attempt steady yourself, your eyes dart around, searching for some sign of Ro before finally locking on to his location. He wasn't wrong, he's completely surrounded and looking worse for wear. Better get stuck in before things somehow go even worse for the two of you.

You will yourself behind a guy to Ro's right, foot flying into the back of his knee as you tackle him to the ground. You quickly knock him out before dodging out of the way of an attack.. this is why you hate doing stealth missions with other people, they always seem to end up in a brawl.

Throwing yourself from person to person, from fight to fight, you lose track of Ro and, despite your complaints, you find yourself hoping he's okay.

As the number of lining up to fight you begins to thin you start look around for him, eventually spotting him behind you to your left. He catches you eye and winks at you as he punches the final minion attempting to get a hit. You scoff and roll your eyes as you duck under a shoddy swing from your current opponent and sweep their feet from under them.

"All done?"

You turn to the source of the voice: Ro. Hes smirking a little but its clear he's exhausted and in a fair bit of pain if the clear favouring of leaning on his right side compared to his left is anything to go by.

"Sure am, you?"

"As you can see, I have risen above all the things sent to try me."

You stare at him blankly before sharply turning and brushing last him and the many unconscious bodies that lay around your feet.

"What did we need to grab again."

You turn and glower at him as he takes an obnoxiously long time pondering before shrugging, "I think they just wanted a report on the situation."

Your eyes widen before narrowing at him, " You mean to tell me that this whole things was practically for nothing?"

Ro at least seems to have the decency to wince, "Not completely, I sure had a good time sharing this bonding experience with you."

You laugh humourlessly at his words, "I can't believe I was worried about you. I somehow forgot how much I despise you.”

You notice Ro's fave brighten just a little before he smirks at you, "I don't think you ever truly despised me, did you? Think wisely before answering, mon chéri, you don't want to go breaking my heart now, do you?"

"Don't push it, Ro."

"At least admit that you like me now, mon amour!"

"..I tolerate you."

"I'll take it!"

You huff and shake your head, using the movement to hide the smile sneaking its way across your face.

"Let's just go back to headquarters."

Ro smiles and dramatically waves a hand gesturing in the direction of what you both assume to be the exit, "But of course, mon chèri. After you."

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Praying that this isn't too shit,, not really used to writing like this,, kinda miss my headcanons but oh well lmao Hope you enjoyed !! <3

#4town christmas countdown #4town #4*town #4town robaire #4town robaire x reader #enemies to lovers #hero au

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aurumjank · 2 years

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Wednesday, episode three. Let's go!

⚠️ Warning for spoilers if you still haven't watched the show ⚠️

Before I was writing my thoughts already after finishing the episode, but this time I decided to do it while watching. I'm not sure how it's going to look like 😅

The scene in the library after kidnapping - priceless. Her level of sarcasm and ironic comments is rising, her skills of getting yourself out of hostage is amazing and her high intelligence, in general, is showing.

"...I trust you will all put your best face forward." And kids with no face are shown. How insensitive of you, principal! 😂 In all honesty, the principal is creeping me out... Which makes me like the actress (she knows that people probably won't like her character, but she still does her best - it deserves some admiration, in my book)

Wednesday speaking in German was unexpected. But funny. Especially tourists' reaction.

Oh, she's such a kind soul (without even realising it, probably 😂). I mean, the way she switched assignments with Enid was mostly manipulation, sure, but Bee-guy (Eugene, I'm ashamed that I had to Google his name 😓) She could've just walk past them, but she protected him by kicking some asses (which was just as epic as the first time) and then this "Let's get you cleaned up".

Am I the only one who thinks that this pilgrim woman (Arlene or what was her name?) looks a lot like Emily Blunt?.. Though after Googling her, I admit they look nothing alike.

Aaaand relationship drama, of course. Enid is trying to flirt with Ajax and ask him out only for him to be a clueless dummy... What was I expecting, really?.. 😂 At least she wasn't beating around the bush for long and went straight for it pretty quickly (which, respect, girl!) And he agreed, which is also nice. Moving on.

Xavier being all jealous is not cute at all. And I hope they won't turn it in some kind of a Xavier-Wednesday-Tyler love triangle. Also, "Would you rather I develop an obsession with horses and boy bands?" is hilarious 😂💜 I should remember this one.

"Thing, a hand here" I don't know why it made me laugh so much 😂

The story of Addams' family and other outcasts is very tragic 😢 And a little bit intriguing 🧐

Oh, I love how she provided a soundtrack for people running around in panic! 👏😂

"...my hands are clean" That doesn't mean you're not guilty. But I approve, absolutely 😄

"If he breaks your heart, I'll nail-gun his" Oh, that's so sweet 💜

Ajax, you poor thing... Now I'm upset both for Enid (who thinks her date stood her up) and him (who accidentally turned himself into stone and wasn't able to go on a date)

So, let me get this straight: Principal is saying that she and Wednesday's mom are besties, but (not so) secretly hates Morticia; "Normie" teacher knows about Nevermore secrets, even though she just started teaching there; a therapist is actually a psycho, who needs a therapist of her own; and a nice quiet guy (Xavier), who I knew has at least some kind of secret, apparently has some huge and dangerous secret... Yeah, okay. No questions here. I was just making sure...

Conclusion of my writing during watching:

Apparently, I have too many thoughts when I watch something. Most of them are not any good or important. I'm not sure if I should do this again, because it takes two times longer to watch one episode if I'm writing everything down 😅

#using tumblr as my diary again #wednesday #wednesday addams #thoughts on wednesday

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thebloggerbloggerfun · 4 years

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@jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time @katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store

LINK

Thanks for letting me write this, guys!!

AO3 (2.1k)

The thing about Heaven was that it was whatever you wanted it to be, and most of its residents wanted it to be familiar.

Technically, Dean didn’t need to fill his car up on gas anymore, but there was still a gas station just down the street from where his new home was placed. He didn’t need to sleep, but he still had a large king-sized bed he made sure to make use of at least once a day. He didn’t need to eat, but there was a thriving supermarket that catered to whatever he was feeling like eating and always boasted the freshest ingredients for when he wanted to get a little fancy with his cooking.

Like today, for example.

Bobby had said he doubted Dean could make a proper souffle, so obviously Dean had to make the old man eat his words - and a souffle.

Dean stared at all of the different options of eggs, trying to decide if “free-range” vs. “organic” actually meant anything in Heaven, or if it was just meant to give him some sort of familiarity.

He grabbed the “free-range” option and moved on to the dairy.

There was movement out of the corner of his eye in the meat section across the way, and the way his heart stopped in his chest when he turned to look would have killed him if he wasn’t already dead.

It was Cas.

Cas, who Dean had spent every day thinking about since he’d left. Cas, who Dean had been trying to find ever since Bobby told him he was still around. Cas, who Dean still had unfinished business with.

He’d spend hours in bed, staring at the ceiling of his room and rehearsing just what he’d say when he saw him again, but in those scenarios Cas had shown up on his doorstep or in the passenger seat of his car where they could have a moment to just be .

He’d never been buying hamburger meat.

Dean rushed forward, cart forgotten, and skidded to a halt in front of Cas, just as he looked up in surprise.

“I love you -” Dean said in a rush, heart pounding, head reeling, “Of course I love you. You’re - fuck - you’re everything I could ever want and I’m - I’m so damn sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t have me, too.”

Cas blinked at him, and it was in that moment Dean realized something was wrong.

His expression, his hair, the way he moved, the way he was dressed - all of it was wrong.

None of it was Cas, he’d just been too overwhelmed to see it.

“Oh, uh... hey Dean,” Not-Cas said, and finished putting his selected meat in his basket, “I didn’t didn’t know that you died. Um, if you’re looking for Castiel -“

Dean turned and ran out of the store.

What were the fucking chances that in all of Heaven, he and Cas’s old vessel were neighbors?

Dean gunned the gas pedal on his car as he drove endlessly, trying to walk himself through what exactly had happened the day before.

Jimmy Novak was here.

Jimmy Novak who - last Dean checked - hated him.

Dean had just spewed his feelings all over him without even thinking about the possibility that he wasn’t Cas. He’d been wearing a sweater vest for crying out loud - but he was willing to forgive himself for that one because he didn’t really know how Cas would dress if he had the choice.

His hopes had soared so high when he’d seen the familiar figure, only to be dashed the moment Jimmy had opened his mouth. They sounded absolutely nothing alike - and Dean yearned for the deep gravel of Castiel’s greeting.

Dean’s grip on the wheel tightened.

Where was Cas?

Didn’t he know that there was nothing keeping them apart now?

In what could only be an act of fate smiling down on him, Dean zoomed around a corner near the Heavenly library, and instantly had to stomp on the brakes of the Impala as a trenchcoat-clad figure stepped into the previously empty crosswalk.

Old habits die hard - Dean was still going to brake for Heavenly pedestrians, especially ones that looked like Cas.

Cas turned to look at him, eyes wide, and Dean shoved the driver’s side door open in a panic. The trench coat was unmistakable this time.

“Cas! Cas - don’t go okay? I gotta -“

Cas shook his head sharply and let out a breath.

“No - Jesus Christ - it’s still me, you idiot.”

Dean gaped at him as his brain tried to catch up with the conflicting bits of information it was processing.

“...what?” He heard himself saying.

Had he just wanted it to be Cas so bad that he’d ignored all the signs?

Jimmy gestured at himself like it was enough of an explanation.

“Uh. Yeah.”

“But - but you’re wearing his trenchcoat! ” Dean said, waved at it like maybe Jimmy hadn’t realized he was walking around as the mockery of the angel who’d once shared a living space with him.

Jimmy placed an affronted hand on his own chest.

“It was my trenchcoat!”

Frustration boiled inside of him and Dean quickly slid back into the car and slammed the door shut behind him.

He sped off, once again running from what could have been.

Dean was sulking under a pile of blankets in his bed when there was a knock at his door.

He ignored it.

After a few moments of silence, the knocking came again, louder and more insistent this time.

Grumbling to himself, Dean threw the blankets off and trudged down the stairs, flinging open the door with a scowl.

A person with nearly combed hair was standing on the doorstep holding a six-pack of beer in one hand and had a sticker on his shirt that said, ‘Hello, my name is Jimmy’.

“Very funny.” Dean said flatly.

“It’s not funny. It’s just in case you try to kiss me or something.” Jimmy held up the six-pack expectantly. “Can I come in?”

Dean didn’t appreciate the ribbing, but he didn’t mind the beer.

And after accosting him twice he might as well let the guy do what he wanted.

“Yeah, whatever.” Dean grumbled and left the door open as he walked back inside and flopped onto his couch. “Why are you here? Don’t you hate me?”

Jimmy hummed as he set the beer down on the coffee table and took a seat opposite Dean.

“I don’t not hate you.” He said with a shrug. “But last time we talked you were trying to convince me to chain myself to a comet again and I can’t say I appreciated it.”

Dean grunted in acknowledgment.

“I’ve been in heaven for a while now. It’s nice here. I take a yoga class with my wife.” Jimmy smiled at him. “I think I’m in a much better mental space now to consider liking you, especially if we’re going to be neighbors.”

Dean winced.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to like Jimmy, it was just… that was Cas’s face. It wasn’t , but it was. Was he really going to have to be constantly taunted with it?

“Look man - I’m sorry about - you know. That.” Dean waved a hand in the air generally. “But you don’t have to do all this. I’ll stop harassing you.”

“That would be nice,” Jimmy said, opening one of the cans and taking a swig, “So, considering the things you’ve said to me, I take it he finally told you he loved you?”

Dean paused, still raw every time he thought about it.

“You knew?”

Jimmy smirked.

“That angel’s love for you permeated both of our beings so potently I’m amazed I don’t love you.” Jimmy said, like it was the kind of fact you could drop casually. “Though even I will admit, as a happily married heterosexual man, that having a man as handsome as you proclaim your love to me in the middle of a grocery store was very exciting.”

Dean dropped his head into his hands and groaned loudly.

“Don’t beat yourself up over it,” Jimmy said, “That first one was pretty good. I’m sure he’s going to love it.”

“He’s never gonna hear it.” Dean muttered.

“Sure he will. You’ve already practiced it twice.”

“I can’t find him!” Dean said, and looked back up, “He’s here somewhere, and I can’t find him. It’s killing me.”

Jimmy held out a beer can.

“Good thing you’re already dead.”

Begrudgingly, Dean accepted the beer and opened it.

“I just. . . I just wanna see him again.” Dean took a long drink. “I want to talk to him. Tell him everything. Share everything. If he wants that.”

Dean let out a long breath, expecting Jimmy to interject with a quip.

He looked over at him when nothing happened, and Jimmy was smiling at him in a way that Dean could only describe as ‘fond’.

“What?” Dean said, indignantly.

“Nothing.” Jimmy said innocently. “You’re just not what I expected.”

Dean looked away.

“Anyway, you asked why I’m here,” Jimmy took another drink, “I’ve seen Castiel.”

“What?” Dean jumped to his feet, beer can dropped to the floor and forgotten about. “Why didn’t you lead with that?”

“I’m an enigma,” Jimmy shrugged a shoulder and leaned back against the plush chair, “Anyway, I wanted to let you know as someone who has literally been in Castiel’s head - I'm pretty sure I know the reason he’s not showing himself to you.”

“Well, fucking spill.”

Jimmy paused.

“Why do you love him?”

Of all the things Dean had been expecting Jimmy to say - this wasn’t it.

Dean sat back down.

“Why?” He asked, a little breathless. “Why does it matter?”

Jimmy shrugged again.

“I guess -” Dean said, trying to unspool his emotions from the knot they’d made in his heart, “He’s - he’s Cas. He cares . . . so much about everyone and - and he’s selfless and kind and he fucking saved me in more ways than just one. He’s always been there for me and Sam and he’s just… he’s just. He’s just good . I’ll never deserve him, but I want to try.”

Dean sucked in a deep breath.

“He pulls me away from the edge, man. I just love him.”

Jimmy nodded once, set down his beer can, and in a bizarre turn of events, began yelling at Dean’s ceiling.

“Did you hear that, Castiel? Not one goddamn thing about how you look! Nothing about me or my vessel!”

Dean stared, dumbfounded.

“Wh-”

“He doesn’t care what you look like! Can you please just come talk to him so I can stop playing marriage counselor for you two?”

Care how he - what?

What was happening?

Before Dean could fully compile all of the new information, there was a hesitant knock at the front door.

Dean whipped his head towards Jimmy, who was smiling in satisfaction.

Nearly tripping over himself, Dean rushed to the door faster than he’d rushed towards anything in his life, and swung it open.

In front of him was the wavelength of celestial intent that Dean had always known existed inside of the vessel of Jimmy Novak - the glint of angelic creation he’d caught glimpses of in the glow of his eyes and in his healing touch. The being was massive and stretched high into the sky with what was (maybe three? four??) pairs of wings scraping the clouds even further above everything. He was flaming rings and rotating divine faces that Dean could barely comprehend - he was raw power and all-knowing eyes.

On the front of his form was a sticker that read, ‘Hello, my name is Castiel’.

“. . . Hello Dean.” The voice rumbled through the air like thunder.

“Cas?” Dean said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I - yes. I’m sorry. I lost my vessel to the Empty - this was the only way -”

“I love you, too.”

The rotating faces on the form towering above him froze in place.

“I do! I love you, Cas. Okay? You didn’t let me say it back before - and if I’ve ever made you feel like I couldn’t love you back, I’m so fucking sorry. You deserve better.”

“. . . you love me?”

Dean nodded, his heart clenching at the disbelief he could hear in Cas’s voice.

“ Even as this?”

“You’ve always been this.” Dean swallowed. “I fell in love with the angel, not the vessel.”

“Dean. . .”

Dean smiled up at him in understanding.

“Just a shame that we’ll have to get a bigger house.”

“Oh I can -”

And as Dean looked on, Castiel began to shrink. The form didn’t change - he was still as striking as he’d been the first time with his wings and halos and faces still firmly in place - but he was now maybe one foot taller than Dean instead of one hundred.

“- make myself more manageable.”

Dean grinned and took a step forward, giddy and thrilled that this was finally, actually happening

He reached up, resting a hand on one of the divine faces.

“Bite-sized.” He murmured fondly.

Jimmy’s voice cut through the moment from somewhere behind them.

“Just so you two know - I. Am. Moving!”

#spn #destiel #destiel ficlet #spn coda #jimmy novak #akasdflks I barely know what this is guys I'm sorry #sometimes I write

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selfignitingimagines · 3 years

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Stiles- If I Can’t Have You, No One Can (Obsessed Part 4)

A/N: When I was initally writing this series I had a set plan for where I wanted it to end and how. I was recently rewatching the last few episodes of season 2 and I got struck with some inspiration. Let me know down below if you guys want a part 5 so I can continue the series!

TRIGGER WARNING: Stalking, kidnapping

Here are the links for Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

“Right there!” Stiles cried, frantically gesturing toward the computer screen on his dad’s desk. “Stop! Stop! See? There he is again.”

They were scrolling through hours of security footage recorded at the hospital the night one of Matt’s victims was killed. So far, all they had managed to capture were shots of him with his back turned. This tape was no different.

“You mean there’s the back of his head again,” the Sheriff told him.

“Okay, but look. He’s talking to someone!”

Scott followed Stiles’ gaze. His eyes widened. “He’s talking to my mom.”

He hastily pulled out his phone out of his jeans and called his mom, hoping she would be able to confirm that it was Matt. Stiles tapped his foot nervously as they talked. His shoulders slumped in relief when he heard her say that Matt was the one she had seen.

“Alright,” the Sheriff said when she hung up. He picked up a manila evidence folder from his desk.

“We’ve got shoe prints alongside the tire tracks at the trailer site...”

“And if they match, that puts Matt at the scene of three murders,” Stiles said. “The trailer, the hospital, and the rave.”

“Actually four,” the Sheriff told him, flipping through the documents in the folder. “A credit card receipt for an oil change was signed by Matt a few hours before the murder.”

Stiles let out a sigh of relief. “Alright, Dad, if one’s an incident, two’s a coincidence, and three’s a pattern, what’s four?”

“Four’s enough for a warrant.”

Stiles curled his fist in triumph. “We can find Y/n.”

“Scott, call your mom back. See how quickly she can get here. If I can get an official ID, I can get a search warrant. Stiles, go to the front desk. Tell them to let Scott’s mom in when she gets here.”

“On it.” Stiles nodded hastily and turned down the hall.

His whole body was humming with adrenaline now. He had spent the whole night terrified, wondering what Matt was doing to you. Stiles knew you were probably betting on the fact that they would find you. After all, it was what he would have done in your situation.

You have saved each other plenty of times before, and now it was his turn again. He knew he could do it, he just wasn’t sure what Matt would do to you in the meantime.

Stiles had tried his best to protect you, but he knew it hadn’t been enough. He should have pushed harder when he suggested you go to the police the other night. He should have kept a closer eye on you at the party, but he had been too caught up in his own issues.

He tried to shake off those thoughts as he walked down the halls of the station, telling himself that he still had time to make up for it. He had told you the other night that everything he did was to keep you safe, and that was still true.

As he rounded the corner of the hall, Stiles realized that the officer on duty was no longer standing at the front desk.

“Hello?” he called, looking around for her.

That was when he noticed her black combat boot sticking out from behind the corner of the desk. He felt a shiver run down his spine, and he realized she was lying on the floor among a mess of fallen papers. Her eyes were wide open, but they weren’t moving, and her tan uniform was stained dark red with blood.

She was dead, but as Stiles took in the horrific sight, he also noticed another chilling detail. The holster on her hip was empty. Someone had taken her gun.

Stiles stumbled back, turning around, only to come face to face with you.“Y/n?”

Tears were slipping from your eyes, and your lip was trembling. You looked terrified, standing there in your disheveled dress. It was the same one you had been wearing at the party last night.

Matt was standing behind you, one hand one your shoulder as he pressed the dead officer’s gun into your back.

“If you make one move I’ll shoot her,” he told Stiles.

Stiles reluctantly held up his hands. “Okay. Okay, fine.”

“I’m sorry,” you mouthed, but he shook his head. You had to know this wasn’t your fault.

Matt kept the barrel of the gun pressed against your back as Stiles led you further into the station. He turned into his dad’s office, and you realized that the Sheriff and your brother were also there.

“Y/n!” Scott cried.

He started forward, but Matt ordered him to stop, waving the gun so he and the others could see it.

“Matt,” the Sheriff said slowly. He held up his hands.

“It’s Matt, right? Matt, whatever’s going on, I guarantee there’s a solution that doesn’t involve a gun.”

Matt’s lips curled into a sick grin. “You know it’s funny you say that, because I don’t think you’re aware of just how right you are.”

“I know you don’t wanna hurt people-”

“Actually, I wanna hurt a lot of people. You four weren’t on my list, but I could be persuaded...and one way is to try calling somebody on your cell phone like McCall is doing.”

Scott ripped his hand out of his pocket, looking between you and Stiles apologetically.

“That...that could definitely get someone hurt.”

“Everyone?” Matt gestured with the gun, and you knew he was telling them to give up their phones. “Now!”

“Come on,” the Sheriff told the boys calmly.

Stiles looked back at you.

“Pretty sure he tossed mine out the window last night,” you muttered.

Matt led the four of you to the tiny jail at the back of the station. There, he made Stiles handcuff his dad to a bench. You felt your stomach drop. Now the three of you were completely on your own with Matt.

He waved the three of you in front of him and forced you to walk up to the front of the station. As you passed by another hallway, you gasped.

Three other officers were lying in the hallway and all of them appeared to be dead. Their chests had been ripped open so forcefully that every wall around them was splattered with blood.

You looked away, fighting the urge to vomit.

“What, are you gonna kill everyone in here?” Scott demanded.

“No,” Matt said with a scoff. “That’s what Jackson’s for. I just think about killing them...and he does it.”

He forced you back into Stilinski’s office, where he made Stiles log into his dad’s computer. Matt had him delete every bit of evidence, including the video footage of him at the hospital. Scott was destroying the paper evidence in the shredder, including the shoe prints that would have matched Matt’s boots.

Stiles glared at Matt from behind the desk, wanting to rip him apart as he stroked his fingers down your hair. He had forced you to sit next to him on the couch, and you were currently staring intently at the tiled floor.

Stiles had already seen the bruises Matt had left on your throat. The only thing keeping him from jumping across that desk was the knowledge that Matt would have Jackson rip all of you to pieces at a moment’s notice.

“Deleted,” he told Matt bitterly, gesturing toward the computer. “And we’re done. So, Matt, since all the people you brutally murdered deserved it, because they killed you first-whatever that means-we’re good here, right? I’ll just get my dad and we’ll go. You know, you continue on the whole vengeance thing, enjoy the Kanima.”

Before he could respond, the glow of headlights swept through the windows. You could hear tires crunching on the gravel of the parking lot outside.

“Sounds like your mom’s here,” Matt told you and Scott.

“Matt, don’t do this,” you begged.

“When she comes to the door, we’ll just tell her to leave,” Scott added. “I’ll tell her we didn’t find anything! Please, Matt.”

The sound of the metal door creaking open echoed through the station, and Matt grinned. “If you don’t move now, I’m gonna kill Y/n first, and then your mom.”

He pressed the gun up against your back, and Scott glared at him. Matt pulled you up by the back of your dress and gestured for Scott and Stiles to go first.

“Open it,” he ordered Scott, when you had made your way back to the front lobby.

“Please,” Scott begged one more time.

“Open. The. Door,” Matt told him, enunciating each word carefully.

Scott reached out, shaking his head regretfully. When he turned the knob, the door slowly creaked open to reveal the person standing there. It wasn’t your mom, but Derek Hale.

“Oh thank god,” Scott breathed.

But Derek simply stared at him. Then, he pitched forward and slammed straight onto the floor below. Jackson was standing behind him, half transformed. He held up one scaly hand, still dripping with clear venom, and stalked into the lobby.

Matt walked over and knelt in front of Derek, flipping him on his back. He was now completely paralyzed.

“This is the one controlling him?” Derek asked from the floor. “This kid?”

“Well, Derek, not everyone’s lucky enough to be a big, bad werewolf.”

Matt straightened up, glancing between you, Scott, and Stiles. “That’s right! I’ve learned a few things lately. Werewolves, hunters, kanimas...it’s like a freakin’ halloween party every full moon.”

He smirked. “Except for you Stiles. What do you turn into?”

Stiles glared at him.

“Abominable snowman,” he snarked. “But it’s more of, like, a wintertime thing. You know...seasonal.”

Matt rolled his eyes, and in seconds, Jackson was swiping his claws across the back of Stiles neck.

“Hey!” you cried.

“Bitch,” Stiles swore at Matt, before his knees went out from under him. He crashed onto the ground, right on top of Derek’s chest.

“Get him off of me,” Derek growled.

Matt laughed. “Oh, I don’t know, Derek. I think you two make a pretty good pair. It must suck though, having all that power taken away from you with just a little cut to the back of the neck. I bet you’re not used to feeling this helpless.”

Derek glared up at him from the floor. “Still got some teeth. Scoot down here a little closer, huh? We’ll see how helpless I am.”

“Yeah, bitch.”

Stiles’ voice was muffled from being facedown against Derek’s chest, but you couldn’t help but smile.

For the second time that night, headlights flashed through the windows of the sheriff’s station. You could hear another car pulling to a stop outside.

“Is that your mom?” Matt asked. “Do what I tell you to, and I won’t hurt her. I won’t even let Jackson near her.

“Scott, don’t trust him,” Stiles mumbled into Derek’s shirt.

Scott remained frozen in front of the door, but Matt was impatient. He reached forward, snatching you by your hair and tugging you back against him. He wrapped his arm around your neck, squeezing against your windpipe and cutting off your breath.

“This work better for you?” he asked Scott.

You reached up, scratching at his arms, but he didn’t even flinch.

“Okay, stop, just stop,” your brother begged.

“Then do what I tell you to!” Matt spat.

“Okay, alright, stop!”

Matt finally let you go, right as you were on the verge of blacking out. You hit the floor on your hands and knees, gasping and dizzy from the lack of oxygen.

“You,” Matt said, gesturing to Jackson. “Take them in there. You two, with me.”

He yanked you up off the ground by your arm, and gestured for Scott to open the door as Jackson hauled Derek and Stiles out of the lobby.

When the door finally opened, Matt pulled you behind the corner of the hallway. You could hear the door squeaking open, and your mom asking “Scott?”

You were trembling as Matt held you back against his chest. What would he do to your mom?”

“You scared me,” you heard her say. “Where is everyone?”

That was when Matt shoved you out in front of him. Your mom gasped your name. As far as she had known, you were still missing.

When she saw Matt come out behind you and press the gun against your back, she froze.

“Mom,” Scott told her nervously. “Just do what he says. He promised he wouldn’t hurt you.”

“He’s right,” Matt agreed.

Then, he raised the gun, and shot Scott in the stomach. You and your mom both screamed, but as she rushed forward, Matt pointed the gun at you.

“But I didn’t say I wouldn’t hurt him.”

Scott was holding himself up using the wall, just barely managing to not fall to his knees. He had one hand pressed against his side, and blood was beginning to pool through his shirt. You knew he would heal from the gunshot wound, but your mom didn’t.

She tried to step forward, but Matt waved the gun.

“Back! Back!” he ordered.

“Mom,” Scott choked. “Mom, do it. Please mom.”

You could hear Stiles' dad from all the way at the back of the station. He had undoubtedly heard the gunshot.

“Matt! Matt, listen to me-!”

“Shut up!” Matt roared. “Shut up! Everybody shut the hell up!”

He gestured to Scott before training the gun back on you. ��Get up, or I shoot your sister next.”

“Please,” your mom begged. Tears were running down her cheeks. “He needs to see a doctor.”

Matt tilted his head. “You think so?”

“It’s alright,” Scott insisted. “I’m okay.”

“No, sweetie, you’re not,” your mom insisted.

She began to babble about how he was just feeling the adrenaline, how he needed to get to the hospital. You looked over at your brother, and he met your eyes. There was no way he was going to be able to keep his secret after this, provided you all made it out alive.

“They have no idea, do they?” Matt asked you.

You didn’t answer him. Your mom was still trying to convince Matt to let her take Scott to the hospital.

“Lady, if you keep talking, I’m going to put the next bullet in her head.”

He raised the gun to your skull. Your breath caught in your throat when you felt the barrel of the gun against your skin.

Your mom took a deep breath, and held up her hands. Tears were streaming down her face, leaving wet lines of black mascara. “Okay...okay.”

Matt shoved you in front of him, pushing you down the hall. He paraded you back through the station, and locked your mom into the cell next to the bench Stilinski was cuffed to.

When Matt shut the cell door, your mom reached out through the bars, grasping your hand tightly. “You’re okay?”

You nodded, tears slipping from your own eyes. “I’m okay. Stiles and Scott made sure I was safe.”

“Back to the front McCall!” Matt barked. “Both of you!”

You glanced back at your mom reluctantly as Matt shoved you in front of him. He walked behind you and your brother as you headed out into the hallway. Then, he herded you into the station breakroom.

There were a few tables and some chairs, but even though you were exhausted, you were too afraid to sit down. Scott leaned against one of the tables, still grasping his bloody side. You guessed the wound wasn’t fully healed yet. If the bullet hadn’t exited, it wouldn’t be able to close unless someone pulled it out.

“The evidence is gone,” Scott told him. “Why don’t you just go?” Matt raised his eyebrows. “You really think the evidence mattered that much? No. No, I want the book.”

“What book?” Scott asked him,

“The bestiary!” Matt snarled. “And not just a few pages. I want the entire thing.”

“I don’t have it. It’s Gerard’s. You told him that, didn’t you?” He was looking at you now. You shrugged. “I tried.”

Scott glanced back over at Matt. “What do you need it for, anyway?”

“I need answers.”

“Answers to what?”

Frustrated, Matt yanked up the edge of his shirt, revealing his scale-covered side. “To this!”

Scott’s eyes went wide. If Matt was turning into another kanima, there was nothing stopping him from killing whoever he wanted. When you looked at your brother’s face, you had the sneaking suspicion that you two would be next on his list.

------

Stiles laid on the floor of the station, staring up at the ceiling. The tiled floor was cold against his back, which was a welcome relief considering sweat was dripping down his neck. He wasn’t sure whether it was just hot in the station, or if he was nervous. If he was being honest, it was both.

He and Derek had been lying there for what felt like hours, but Stiles knew it was probably only thirty minutes.

“Hey,” he said, breaking the silence. “Do you know what’s happening to Matt?”

“I know the book’s not gonna help him,” Derek said grimly. “You can’t just break the rules. Not like this.”

Stiles tried to look over at him from the corner of his eye.

“What do you mean?”

“The universe balances things out. It always does.”

“Is it because he’s using Jackson to kill people who don’t deserve it?”

“And killing people himself,” Derek added.

Stiles thought for a moment. “So if he breaks the rules of the Kanima, he becomes the Kanima?”

“Balance,” Derek agreed.

“Will he believe us if we tell him that?”

“Probably not.”

Stiles sighed. “Okay, he’s gonna kill all of us once he gets that book, isn’t he?”

“Yep...except for maybe Scott’s sister.”

Stiles gritted his teeth. “I’m gonna kick his ass the second I can move again.”

“That’s a great way to get her throat ripped out too.”

Stiles didn’t respond. He knew Derek was right, but a part of him wanted to go after Matt without thinking about the consequences. He knew he had left those bruises on your neck. He knew that the minute you shattered Matt’s fantasy, he would kill you too. He had to do something before that happened.

“I know you’re in love with her.”

Stiles swallowed at Derek’s words. “Maybe.”

“I can tell. I know you’d do anything to save her, but right now, we need to be smarter.”

“Alright,” Stiles relented. “So what do we do? Do we just sit here and wait to die?”

“Unless I can figure out a way to push the toxin out of my body faster, like triggering the healing process.”

“Wha-”

He glanced down, only to realize that Derek’s claws were now protruding from his fingers. They had grown into his jeans, right into his skin, where blood was beginning to ooze.

Stiles gagged. “Oh, gross.”

-----

Back in the breakroom of the station, Matt shook his head, letting his shirt fall back down. He glanced between you and Scott.

“You know, I feel sorry for you guys. Cause right now you’re probably thinking ‘How am I gonna explain this when it heals?’. And the sad part is, you don’t even realize how incredible it is that you are healing. Cause you know what happens to anyone else when they get shot? They die!”

You and Scott exchanged uneasy glances.

“Is that what happened to you?” your brother asked.

Matt was silent. He was staring at the ground, but he didn’t look as vicious as he had earlier. He actually seemed kind of tired. Scott seemed to notice this too, so he continued to press.

“You drowned, didn’t you?”

“He shouldn’t have let them drink,” Matt muttered, still staring at the floor.

“What?” you asked. “Who? Matt, what do you mean?”

“Lahey!” He suddenly exploded. “He shouldn’t have let them drink.”

You flinched back, closer to your brother.

“What?” Scott asked. “Who was drinking?”

“The swim team, you idiot! I didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t know they had just won State…”

You and Scott listened to Matt as he went on and on. He explained how, when he was in eighth grade, he had been heading over to Isaac’s to trade comics. Mr. Lahey was throwing a party for his swim team and letting them drink around the pool. All of Matt’s victims had been there. Tucker, Cara, Bennett, even Jessica and Shawn, the married couple.

They were joking around when Matt came into the backyard, tossing each other into the pool. Isaac’s brother Camden decided to throw Matt in too. They didn’t know he couldn’t swim.

“And the next thing I know, I’m lying by the pool,” Matt explained. “And Lahey’s standing over me, and he’s saying ‘You don’t know how to swim? What little bastard doesn’t know how to swim? You say nothing. You tell no one.’ And I didn’t.”

He let out a sharp, bitter laugh. “I would wake up every night, gasping for breath. My parents thought I was an asthamatic. They even got me and inhaler. They didn’t know that everytime I closed my eyes, I…I was drowning.”

He was silent for a few moments, and then he looked back at you and Scott. “And then came Kate Argent’s funeral.”

His lips began to curl into a smile as he explained how he had realized he and Jackson were bonded.

“I was taking some photos, and then, purely by accident, Lahey gets in one of them. I looked down at my camera, and I just had this unbelievable rage that filled up inside of me. I looked at him and I just...I wanted to see him dead.”

Matt let out a disbelieving laugh. “And the next day, he actually was! You know, Einstein was right. Imagination is more important than knowledge. It was like something out of Greek mythology, like...like the Furies coming down to punish Orestes.”

He looked over at Scott, who was staring at him, dumbfounded. Matt rolled his eyes. “You have no idea what I’m talking about do you?”

Scott swallowed. “Was that...was that the guy that stabbed out his eyes.”

“That’s Oedipus, you dumbass!” Matt barked.

His gaze snapped over at you. “You know what I’m talking about don’t you?”

You nodded carefully. “The furies were deities of vengeance, weren’t they?”

Matt nodded. “Their tears ran of blood and they had snakes for hair. If there was a crime that had gone unpunished, the Furies would do the punishing. Jackson is my Fury. You know, when I saw him the next night, I knew he had killed Lahey for me, and I knew he would do it again.”

Matt began to smile to himself again. “So I went to Tucker’s garage. I even paid for an oil change, and guess what? He didn’t even recognize me! So when he wasn’t looking, I took a shot of him with my camera...and in a few hours, he was dead. So I took more pictures. All I had to do was take their picture, and Jackson would take their life.”

You glanced over at Scott, who looked just as concerned as you were. Matt was giving no indication that he would stop the killings. You were pretty sure that he and Stiles were next on his list.

Scott opened his mouth, maybe to try and convince Matt to let you all go, but he never got the chance to speak. The thick, acrid smell of smoke filled the air, and suddenly the room was engulfed in a white cloud.

Sirens began to wail, echoing through the halls of the station. They let out a sharp, bleating sound that hurt your ears.

“What is this?!” Matt demanded. “What’s happening? What’s going on?!”

He suddenly reached out, snatching you by the arm.

“I don’t know!” Scott cried. “Y/n, where are you?”

“I’m right here!”

He reached out, trying to see if he could grab you, but Matt yanked you backward against him. He pressed his gun against your side and forced you out the nearest exit.

Bright yellow emergency lights began to flicker, illuminating the breakroom. Jackson passed you and Matt as you left the room. He was headed right toward Scott. You tried to pull out of his grasp, but he dug his nails into your arm.

“Scott!” you screamed.

“I’ll have Jackson rip your mom apart next,” he snarled.

He dragged you through the halls of the station, keeping the gun pressed tightly against your side. The smoke was starting to dissipate now, and the flashing lights ensured that Matt knew where he was going.

He shoved open a door and hauled you into a darkened garage. The long room was bordered by bay doors on one side. A few desks littered the room, but it was mostly filled with police squad cars or transport vans.

Matt dragged you past tool carts and spare tires, and you struggled not to trip.

“Please, Matt,” you begged. “Just let me go.”

“Shut up!” Matt snapped. He looked around frantically until he spotted a door with a glowing, red exit sign. He pushed you toward it and forced you outside.

Cool air hit your face as you stepped out into the night, but you didn’t have time to appreciate it. He broke into a run, keeping one hand on your arm as he pulled you further from the building. Panic began to build in your chest.

A couple hundred yards ahead, the clearing you and Matt were running through ended with a line of trees. There was a small creek running at the edge of it. Farther downstream, a bridge crossed over the water. Matt began to pull you in the opposite direction.

Suddenly, you stumbled, falling onto your knees in the grass. Matt reached down to haul you up, but when his guard was down, you knocked the gun out of his hand. It landed somewhere in the grass, and he was unable to see where it went in the dark.

You scrambled onto your feet as Matt felt for the gun in the grass, but when he realized you were running, he abandoned it.

“No!”

He tackled you to the ground before you could even make it five feet away, and the impact knocked the wind out of you.

You squirmed, but he quickly pinned you down into the grass.

“Get off me!” you gasped, but his hands were pressing your wrists into the grass.

He smiled down at you, but there was an empty look in his eyes. Your heart began to pound even harder against your chest.

“Do you remember when I said that I’m not the type of guy that’s gonna say something like ‘If I can’t have her, no one can.’?”

You writhed under him, but your exhaustion had caught up with you. He was much stronger, and now that he was turning into another kanima, you didn’t have a chance of fighting him off.

Matt didn’t wait for you to respond to him. He just kept talking and grinning down at you with that sick look in his eyes.

“See, that’s not entirely true,” he mused. “Because, Y/n, if I can’t have you. No one can.”

Then his hands were on your neck, squeezing. You fought him, gasping for air that wouldn’t come. He was going to kill you.

You reached up, scratching at his hands and wrists. You could feel his skin peeling away under your nails and the warm, wet blood you were drawing. Still, it wasn’t enough.

Your vision was beginning to cloud. Your attempts to fight him off were growing weaker by the second. All you could think of was Stiles.

The two of you always seemed to be saving each other in one way or another. This time, you had hoped he would be able to rescue you, but it looked like that wasn’t going to happen. You knew there was no use in hoping for anything else.

Instead, you tried to think about something good. As your mind wandered, you thought of Stiles’ honey brown eyes. You thought of the surprise and delight on his face when you said something funny that he hadn’t expected. You remembered the way he had kissed you the night at the rave, his hands warm on your cheeks.

Everything was beginning to go dark, but you were content. You swore you could hear Stiles’ voice, warm and soothing...and then it was gone.

You opened your eyes, taking one painful, gasping breath. Matt’s weight was no longer on top of you. You rolled over onto your side, desperately sucking in air as you struggled to lift yourself up into a sitting position in the grass.

You looked around, wondering what had happened. That was when you saw Matt being dragged down the hill by Gerard Argent, of all people. You didn’t understand what was happening at first, but then, Gerard threw him down into the bed of the creek.

Gerard waded out until he was knee-deep in the water. Then he grabbed Matt by his t-shirt and thrust his head under water. You watched, horrified, as he drowned him in the creek.

That was when you ran, occasionally glancing over your shoulder to make sure Gerard wouldn’t follow you. He didn’t even look up. Either he would come after you later, or he just didn’t care.

You sprinted past the bridge, only to have a pair of arms reach out and snatch you back. You opened your mouth to scream, but a hand clamped down over your lips, muffling the sound.

You were pushed up against the side of the bridge, the rough stone scraping against your back. When you saw who had grabbed you, your eyes went wide. It was Peter Hale.

It suddenly crossed your mind that maybe you hadn’t escaped Matt in the clearing. Maybe you were dead. Maybe that was why you were face to face with Peter, whose throat Derek had slashed open last month.

He held one finger to his lips as he stared down at you, and while you should have been terrified, you had the odd feeling that he wouldn’t hurt you.

“Watch,” he said quietly.

He grabbed you by the shoulders and spun you around, forcing you to look back at Matt and Gerard. You could see Matt’s motionless body floating in the water. Gerard was now standing up on the bank of the creek, his clothes still dripping wet. His lips were moving, but you couldn’t hear what he was saying. It didn’t seem to matter, because what you saw next told you everything you needed to know.

The Kanima was creeping out from the shadows, wandering toward Gerard on its hands and feet. Instead of running, Gerard lifted one arm and raised his palm. The Kanima moved closer, hesitantly. Then it lifted up one scaly, clawed hand, and touched its palm to Gerard’s.

He was now its master.

“Go,” Peter urged in your ear. “Tell your brother what you saw.”

You blinked up at him, confused. “Why?”

A smile played at the edge of Peter’s lips. “I have a feeling we’re all on the same team now.”

He let go of your shoulders and you slowly backed away from him, keeping your eyes trained on his shadowy form the entire time. When you were a few yards away, you turned your back and took off running toward the station.

Your chest was burning as you raced back toward Scott and the others. When you pushed open the doors of the station, several officers whirled around and trained their guns on you. You guessed Stiles’ dad had called for backup at some point.

As you threw up your hands, you were able to see the Sheriff, your mom, and Stiles all standing in the lobby.

“Y/n!” Stiles cried. “Oh thank god.”

The officers lowered their guns, and Stiles rushed over. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tightly against his chest. You froze in his arms, not quite sure how to handle his touch. The feeling of being caged against him made your skin crawl. Though you hated to admit it, it reminded you of Matt.

He pulled away suddenly, realizing you weren’t reciprocating.

“Hey...are-are you okay?”

You shook your head, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. The lights of the station were too bright, and the sound of the deputies’ boots thumping on the floor caused you to flinch. You didn’t even know where to start.

Stiles watched in shock as you suddenly burst into tears. He wanted to reach out and hold you, but by the way you had just reacted, he was afraid to touch you.

“Oh, uh…”

Before he could think of anything to say, your mom rushed over and put a hand on your back. “Let’s get you somewhere quiet, Sweetheart.”

She cast a sympathetic glance in Stiles’ direction and led you down the hall. The Sheriff followed after the two of you, no doubt planning to take your statement. Matt was nowhere to be found, and Stiles was willing to bet you knew what happened to him.

He wanted to follow, but he knew if he did, his dad would just kick him out of the room. You were a witness now, and they would need an official statement from you.

Scott came jogging down the hallway. Stiles realized he must have heard you come back.

By then, the door to the office you had disappeared into was shut.

Scott headed over to Stiles. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Stiles admitted. “But I don’t think your sister’s okay.”

#teen wolf #teen wolf imagines #selfignitingimagines #stiles stilinski #stiles stilinski imagines #@screamxqueenx94 #tw kidnapping #tw stalking

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adminbryantsaki · 4 years

Text

Hizashi Yamada x F! Reader.

(I don’t own Hizashi. Horikoshi Kōhei does)

(A/N: I am so excited! This is my first time participating in the BNHarem server collab. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!))

Go here for more fics!

TW: Oral sex, bondage, sex talk, roommates, eavesdropping.

Word count: 4,361 words.

You just came home after a long shift at work and saw the red light outside your roommate’s recording studio, as he was on the air. You smiled softly and went to your bedroom to get changed out of your work’s uniform. You closed the door behind you after you got changed and you headed over to his recording studio. When you first moved in with the pro hero, you were curious as to what he did during his show. He let you into his studio one afternoon to show you around. You were amazed with all the buttons, lights and switches that were used to operate the studio. That afternoon during his recording session, he let you sit in and watch him work. He even let you help him pick a list of music to play. Since you had such a good taste in music, he decided to let you pick music for his shows. Today was one of those days. You knocked on the door to the studio before opening the door and slipping in and closing the door behind you. He looked in your direction before talking into the mic before switching it off and turning to face you.

“Hey there, Y/N. Rough shift?” He asked as he noticed your tired expression. You nodded and went to sit on the couch he kept in the studio for himself or his friend Aizawa when he came over. You laid down on the couch and pulled a blanket over your body. You closed your eyes as you listened to your roommate continue on with his show. You eventually fell asleep on the couch as Hizashi finished up his show. His voiced always had a way to soothe you into slumber. He looked back in your direction after he turned the microphone off for the night and smiled. He left his recording studio and went to make himself a cup of tea. He went to the living room couch and sat down. He turned the T.V. on and watched a show. A few hours passed before you came out of his recording studio, sleepy and wrapped up in the blanket.

“Hizashi? How long was I asleep?” You ask in a groggy voice.

“About two hours. Work must’ve worn you out.” He said looking over to you. He patted the seat next to him. You walked over and sat next to him

“What are you watching?” You asked.

“Some Spanish telenovela.” He said as he set his hand down, extremely close to your thigh.

“Do you even understand what is going on?” A familiar deep voice sounded from behind the couch. You turned to see your roommate’s friend and pro hero Shouta Aizawa approaching the couch with a bowl of popcorn. Having Shouta over was pretty normal since he and Hizashi were friends since high school

“Can’t you see that one of the guys cheated on his wife? He was sneaking around with a different woman than the one he married. There was a big episode a few weeks ago where he got married to her. The poor girl… she deserves better.” The blonde said as his friend sat down on the other side of him and put the bowl between them.

“I see… What do you think is going on now?” Shouta asked as he turned his tired eyes to the screen.

“The guy is sneaking around his wife while she is at home doing all the housework, paying the bills, and getting a hot dinner on the table right as he comes through the door. All the while he will ‘work late’ on the nights she wants to do something special because she wants to still be with him. The dude is cheating on you!” Hizashi said the last part a little louder as the girl was denying the fact that her husband could be cheating on her. You winced a little as you didn’t expect the loud noise so suddenly. Hizashi looked over at you with an apologetic look in his emerald eyes.

“Sorry about that, listener. Are you ok now?” He asked as he brushed back a stray strand of hair. This small gesture caused you to blush a bright shade of pink. You nodded in response and turned your eyes back to the show.

“That’s not good. One of the girl’s brothers just pulled a gun on the cheating husband.” Shouta said as one of the characters was holding the husband at gunpoint. Hizashi looked at the screen and his eyes widened. He spoked up as he began to create a dialogue for the show.

“How dare you sneak around with that tramp! You know my sister was good to you. Making dinner for you every night. You do not appreciate her!” Soon the sound of a gunshot sounded from the T.V. causing you to screech a little while you pressed into Hizashi. He again looked at you. He gently kissed your head and put an arm around you. Shouta looked over at the both of you and smiled softly.

“I should get going. I have an early morning.” The darker haired man said and stood up from the couch. He showed himself out while closing the door behind him. He only lived next door to the both of you. Once he was gone, Hizashi turned the T.V. off and turned to you.

“You sure you’re ok? You let out a little shriek there when the gun sounded.” He said and rubbed your back.

“I’ll be ok. It just startled me a bit.” You said looking into his eyes that were filled with concern.

“As long as you’re ok.” He said, now looking down. You leaned forward, still swaddled in the blanket from the recording studio and kissed his cheek. This caught him off guard. He looked back at you.

“What was that for?” He asked.

“To help you get your mind off worrying about me.” You said as you stood up, only to get pulled back down by his large piano hands.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked as a sly smirk spread across the hero’s lips.

“I was gonna go to bed. Still sleepy.” You responded as the blush on your face grew deeper by the moment. You laid down on the couch and stared at the ceiling.

“If you’re tired then go to bed. I won’t stop you.” He said as he resisted kissing you full on the lips right there. You groaned before positioning yourself in an upright position. He looked over and smiled softly at your cute form all swaddled up in the blanket. He pulled a little of the blanket back and kissed your cheek.

“Goodnight, Y/N. I have tomorrow morning off if you wanna hang out.” He said pulling away. You nodded and stood up. You proceeded to almost skip to your room in excitement. That night you could barely sleep a wink. Did Hizashi, the amazing Pro hero who had an amazing voice actually have a crush on you? You stared at the ceiling in disbelief. Then again, he did kiss you on the cheek, make sure you were ok after you jumped with the gunshot, and was genuinely worried about you the days you went straight to bed after work. After tossing and turning for hours you got up and went back out to the living room to find said roommate still watching the telenovela.

“Hizashi Yamada, do you have a crush on me?” You asked as you stood in front of the T.V. His green eyes looked up at you after he paused the show.

“Yes, I have feelings for you.” He said as his eyes flicked up to meet yours.

“For how long have you liked me?” You asked. Your heart was in your throat as you waited for his answer.

“Ever since you moved in.” He said, still making eye contact with you. You felt something tugging at you to move closer to him. You walked over and he reached his arms out to pull you into his lap.

“Has it really been that long?” You asked him. You had moved in a few months ago. You wished that he would’ve said something sooner.

“Yeah, it has been. I didn’t know if you had a significant other or not. I found out when we went out for drinks with the other teachers and you were talking with Midnight. I overheard you telling her that you were single.” He responded. “I didn’t want to step in if you already had a boyfriend.” His eyes stared back at yours deeply.

“Thank you, Hizashi.” You told him. You really did love him but you didn’t know how to say it.

“So, do you like me like that or not?” He asked as his hands rested on your hips. You thought for a moment. Your face blushed deep red.

“I do like you… no… I love you.” You confessed while looking back at him. A blush grew on your face and a wide grin spread across the voice hero’s face. He hugged you tightly.

“I love you too, so much, princess.” He said smiling. He slid his hands up to cradle the base of your head. He pulled you into a gentle kiss. You melted into the kiss and put your arms around his neck. After pulling away for air, Hizashi pulled your legs around his waist and he stood up.

“Your room or mine?” He responded as he put his hair up in a bun. You thought for a moment.

“Yours. Mine’s a mess right now as I’m rearranging it.” You said looking down. He put a finger under your chin and lifted your head to make you look at him.

“That’s ok. We can go to mine.” He said and carried you to his room. He opened the door and let you look around. There was a simple metal bed frame with a mattress on it. There was a desk and a dresser. On his desk was a small lamp, his laptop, some stacks of cds, and a decent set of speakers that were attached to the laptop. Next to the bed was a simple nightstand with another lamp and a phone charger. He set you down on his bed and kissed your head.

“You get comfortable. I’m gonna set up some music. There’s a box of toys and lube under the bed if you wanna pick stuff out.” He said as he sat down at the desk and turned his laptop on. You nodded while still blushing. Music began to fill the room as you leaned over and found a plain cardboard box. You pulled it out to find vibrators, cuffs, rope, a collar, and a funnel with a tube taped to it. You blushed and grabbed the rope. You laid back down with the rope next to you. Hizashi looked back at you.

“I see you picked the rope. I’ll be right back ok, listener?” He said before leaving the room. You laid flat on his bed. You rolled over to inhale the scent of leather, citrus, and cinnamon that was embedded into his sheets. You relaxed a bit. You couldn’t believe that he… no the both of you were gonna do this. He came back into the room carrying a couple bottles of water.

“You ok, babygirl? Did ya fall asleep?” He asked as he walked over and set the food on the nightstand. He placed a hand on your shoulder and you looked at him with a bright red face.

“Sorry. I like the scent of your pillow.” You responded. He smiled.

“I brought some food we can use.” He told you. You looked at the nightstand. He was pulling out his box of condoms. You blushed hard and stared at them.

“I have some other ones in the bathroom.” He said as he looked at you.

“No… I just wanna take it easy. This will be my first time in a while.” You told him. You tried to hide the fact that you were nervous, he could sense it though.

“How about I tell you what I’m going to do, each step, throughout the whole thing?” He asked as he kissed your head and stood up. You were about to speak when he pulled his shirt off to show his toned torso. He had various scars and a tattoo that went across his back, spreading over his shoulders. The tattoo looked like wings that covered his shoulders and went over his chest. You stared at the tattoo as it mesmerized you and caused you to drool a bit. He looked back and chuckled. He knew what he was doing by taking his shirt off.

‘So cute.’ He thought as he sat across from you and stroked your cheek. You snapped out of your trance and looked away for a moment while your face turned beet red.

“Yeah, that sound’s perfect.” You said as your eyes wandered down to his hands to see the tattoos on his fingers. They were bands of intricate patterns similar to rings. You smiled. He moved up and pulled your legs around his waist. He nuzzled your neck.

“You smell so good, princess.” He told you before he kissed your neck. ‘Her scent is amazing. I can’t get enough of it.’ He thought to himself as he bit down on your neck which got a moan out of you. He smirked and licked your soft skin. You moaned into his neck.

“Can we sit up?” You asked. He pulled back and nodded. He sat up with you in his lap. You got settled and pressed into him. You took a deep breath and looked up at him, blushing hard, looking back down again. He smiled and patted your head.

“How are we gonna go about this?” You asked him as you traced the feathers of his tattoo

“Well, the good thing to do is to have a safe word.” He said as he looked down at you.

“What should it be?” You asked him.

“How about bass clef?” He suggested. You nodded and smiled.

“Ok. I need you to take your clothes off.” He instructed as a sly grin spread across his face at the idea of finally being able to see those curves you kept hidden with your baggy clothes.

“How far down do I need to strip?” You asked nervously. You hated the way your body looked. There was so much you would want to change with your body.

“All of it,” He told you as he slid a hand under the hem of your shirt. “Unless you are hiding something that you’d not want me to see.” He told you in a firmer tone. You looked up at him still nervous.

“I’m not hiding anything.” You said even though you had stretch marks and chub on your body that you would have wanted to hide, you decided that he should be able to see it. He is your boyfriend now.

“Then strip. Show me that lovely body.” He instructed. He couldn’t wait to see the obvious thick thighs, butt, and cute, yet soft tummy you had. You had shown it the few times you wore yoga pants around the apartment on your days off. You sat up with your back to him and pulled your shirt off. You had some acne on your back, stretch marks on the lower part of your back and hips, you also had some chub on your thighs and stomach. He smirked and pulled you closer to kiss your neck again. He wrapped one of his arms around your waist. He had you pressed into his chest.

“You look amazing. Every part of you is amazing.” He told you as he ran his hands up and down your thighs. He peppered your neck with kisses. He was praising you. You loved the attention.

“What’s next?” You asked. He hummed and had you lean forward a bit so he could look at you.

“Now we are gonna continue taking your clothes off. Next is your bra.” He said as he looked at the garment and tugged playfully at the strap that ran over your shoulders. You nodded and he undid the hooks at the back and helped you pull it off. There were faint red lines indented into your skin. The blonde frowned and rubbed where the lines were with his fingers.

“Don’t wear your bra’s so tight. I don’t like seeing the indents in your skin.” He said to you in your ear. You hummed and sighed.

“Alright.” You responded. He kissed your cheek and put his hands on the soft flesh of your stomach.

‘So soft. Her skin all over is so soft, dare I think it’s an addiction and I’m hooked?’ He thought as he hovered over her neck.

“What’s next?” Your voice broke his trance. He looked down at your pants and hummed deeply in his chest.

“Next is your pants. For this, I’d like for you to lay down. But first, give me your wrists.” He instructed as he tugged at the fabric of your sweats.

“Do you want me to turn around or stay where I am?” You asked.

“Stay where you are, princess.” He said as he reached for the black rope that you had picked out. You held your wrists out in front of you and he brought the rope in front of you. He leaned into you so he could see what he was doing. He tied your wrists up as he spoke to you softly.

“Is that too tight? I’ll loosen the rope so it doesn’t hurt.” He adjusted the rope as needed until you were comfortable. He finished the tying with a nice bow. He smiled at his work and kissed your cheek.

“There, all nicely tied up. Now, do you remember the safe word?” He asked as he slid you off his lap gently.

“Yes. It’s bass clef.” You recalled.

“Good job. Now, lay down on your back for me.” He said soothingly. He helped you lay down carefully so you wouldn’t hit your head on his headboard. His eyes were fixed on yours. You looked so pretty laying there. He wanted to take this moment in and embed the picture of you in his memory. You whined a bit and shifted your hips. He noticed and looked at you.

“What’s wrong, princess?” He asked as he spread your legs so he could move between them. He was hovering dangerously close to your private area.

“Nothing.” You said as you were clearly lying. He gripped your jaw and looked into your eyes.

“Tell me now.” He told you in a firm tone.

“I want you so badly.” You just about moaned out. He smirked and kissed your stomach as it was the nearest thing to him. He made eye contact with you and moved to your hip. He bit into the soft flesh while he activated his quirk and hummed gently. You moaned quietly and shifted under him. He held your hips still. You huffed and stayed still.

“Good girl.” He told you. He smiled. You looked amazing, so pretty, so edible.

“I’m going to pull your pants and underwear off now.” He told you as he pulled your sweats and underwear down. By then you were already wet and soaking your underwear.

“My, my, someone’s aroused already~.” He mused. He put his fingers in his mouth to coat them in his saliva. He pulled them out and rubbed your clit. You moaned and shifted your hips under his firm grip impatiently. He smirked. “Stay still. You’ll get your reward soon enough.” He told you and slid a finger into your wet entrance. This earned him a moan that sounded like sweet music to his ears. He smirked and pumped his fingers in and out of you. You managed to cover your mouth with your bound wrists. He stopped the stimulation that he was giving you and looked up at you.

“Uncover your mouth.” He ordered. You hesitated and he pulled his fingers out a little bit. You whined and moved your hands down. He put his fingers back in.

“Good job.” He told you and began to eat you out. You moaned loudly. He activated his quirk which was like a built-in vibrator. This stimulation sent you to another planet. Your head was foggy and you let out a stream of moans that caused him to go faster and suck harder. He pulled his fingers out and slid his tongue in. You gasped and arched your back a bit. He stopped until you relaxed then resumed eating you out. You were loving this stimulation as it was a new experience for you and as you got to experience your roommate’s skilled mouth. He looked up at you and pulled away for air.

“How are you feeling, princess?” He asked as he panted. You could only manage a moan. You nodded yes to tell him that you were ok.

“That’s good, love.” He said as he went back to sucking and biting your lower region. He groaned and hummed louder against your dripping hole. You cried out his name and he growled against your private area.

“Beg for my cock, princess.” He said in a deep, lust filled voice. You blushed harder and made eye contact with the man. There was a lump in your throat before you let out a quiet moan. He put a cupped hand behind his ear.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.” He spoke. You looked at him and spoke a bit louder.

“I want you to fill me up inside. I want you to fuck me senseless. Please. You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.” You confessed while keeping eye contact with him.

“I am happy to hear that, princess.” He sat up and grabbed a condom from his nightstand and ripped it open with his teeth. You blushed and dared to look down at his pierced member. He slid the rubber protection over his erection and poked the head into your dripping entrance. You moaned out and gripped the sheets as you felt the balls of his Jacob’s ladder piercing pop gently into your wet heat.

“So vocal tonight, I didn’t know you were so needy~.” He hummed as he pulled one thigh around his waist and the other over his shoulder as he slid his full length into you. He grinned as you sucked in your breath and arched your back a little.

“You like that? Take a moment to adjust.” He reassured you in a soothing tone as he ran a hand up and down your thigh to rest on your butt. You adjusted after a few moments and shifted your hips a little to tell him that you were ready. He smirked and began to thrust into you at a slow pace. He kissed the thigh over his shoulder and bit into the soft flesh while using his quirk. You whined more and bucked your hips. He smiled and sped up his thrusts.

“You like that, don’t you, princess?” He said and licked the tender flesh around the bite on your thigh. This earned him another sweet moan that he committed to his memory. He sped up a little more and went harder in his motions. You moaned a sweet symphony for him and he milked out every moment. He slowed his pace a bit which caused you to whimper.

“Hizashi…” You moaned weakly.

“What’s wrong, Princess? I can feel you tightening. It feels good doesn’t it~?” He hummed. The Jacob’s ladder on the underside of his member felt amazing on the silken walls of your dripping heat. You moaned and clenched around his pierced member. He groaned, quickening his pace to speed up and bring the both of you closer to orgasming. He growled deep in his chest as his lips made contact with your thigh. He made your skin vibrate down to your core. This jolt of stimulation sent you over the edge and clamping down on his cock, releasing the knot of pleasure that had built up in the pit of your stomach. He pulled out of you and slid the used condom off, throwing it in the trash can. He reached across you and got one of the bottles of water and took the cap off. He sat you up and made sure you drank. “There you go, drink up, princess. You did so good, I’m so proud of you.” He told you as you gulped down the water and pulled away to nuzzle into him. He set the bottle down on the nightstand and reached for the unopened one for himself.

“You were amazing, baby girl.” He praised you. He kissed your head and took a drink of water.

“You tasted good too.” He said as he took the rope off your wrists and rubbed them with some lotion he had in the nightstand. You blushed a little and looked away from him. He smiled and laid out next to you. “Is there anything I can get you?” He asked. You were still trying to relax your heart as it was pumping heard from your climax. You steadied your breathing and looked to him.

“Nothing. I’m ok for now. Just tired. Is it ok if I sleep here with you?” You asked him. He nodded and kissed your temple.

“You can sleep here any time, princess.” He said as he slid under the covers and pulled you under with him, holding you close. You pressed into his chest and he wrapped his arms around you like a blanket of protection. He rubbed your back as he hummed to lull you to sleep. You fell into the cozy warmth of sleep in the arms of your boyfriend.

Little did the both of you know, that on the other side of the wall, your neighbor, Shouta had been listening to the both of you and had jerked off to the sounds.

The End?

#bnharem collab #and they were roommates #Hizashi yamada #present mic #hizashi yamada x reader #present mic x reader #bnha #mha #bnha hizashi Yamada #bnha present mic #mha hizashi yamada #mha present mic

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in-tua-deep · 4 years

Text

SO i watched the old guard and loved it and i have a habit of combining things i love and it’s 1am and i can’t get to sleep until i purge this from my brain i think SO consider this

Five jumps in time into the apocalypse and - he dies. Of course he dies. Maybe it’s the time jump itself, managing to rip himself apart because he tried too much too soon. Maybe it’s the apocalypse itself that kills him. Regardless, he dies.

And then he wakes up. And he’s fine. And he continues on.

Except - he has weird dreams. He dreams of - of all these people? He dreams that they’re in the apocalypse as well. It’s weird. He would brush it off but, well, he keeps dreaming of them. Again. And again. And again.

(He likes dreaming of them, honestly. When he doesn’t dream of them he dreams of ash and fire and his siblings dead and decaying and wailing at him for failing them.)

He continues to live in the apocalypse and years pass and - he’s not getting older. He cuts his leg open on some rocks, and it heals way too quickly. All of his injuries are like that, actually.

(He spends a whole week starving to death over and over again once. It isn’t pretty. He doesn’t even know he’s dying.)

Eventually he comes to a conclusion - his time jump fucked him up. He’s in a permanent... stasis? Sort of? He keeps continuously returning to the state he was when he jumped through time, including his body now? Rejecting injuries? Presumably because he wasn’t injured when he jumped?

It makes sense to Five, shhh.

And then he gets picked up by the commission. and then he doesn’t shoot JFK. and then he goes home.

(He keeps dreaming about His People. They aren’t in the apocalypse when he isn’t, which is nice. They’re probably some weird manifestation of his subconscious, considering his brain keeps casting them as people during the time periods he’s visiting)

Now I know what you’re thinking - Five is dreaming about these glorious weirdos in the apocalypse, obviously they would try to find him because they’re dreaming about him as well, right?

See, the thing is this: Andy doesn’t remember the exact date she first had a dream about The Boy.

(The Boy definitely deserved the capital letters, because he’s the weirdest enigma that they never solved.)

But she remembers her and Quynh being horrified because - the next immortal was a child? They freaked out about it and tried to write everything down they could remember to help them hunt the kid down.

And they tried - they did! for a whole three days! except after those three days the dreams just - stopped. cold. nothing new.

This was, of course, super super confusing. And maybe they would have written it off as a shared hallucination if it didn’t keep happening.

There’s no pattern to when they dream of the kid. It just happens. Sometimes a few times in a year. Sometimes there’s decades or centuries between dreams. The first time Nicky and Joe dream of him, Andy has to sit them down and explain that no, don’t worry about it. Yes she knows that it’s a child. No, he’s not a new immortal. They’ll stop dreaming about him in a few days, a week tops, it’s fine. No, she doesn’t know What The Fuck That Is About.

By the time Nile joins the team it’s sort of a weird inside joke. There’s longstanding bets about when the boy will pop up in their dreams again. It’s fine. Okay, so it’s weird, but their lives are already so goddamn weird.

(So imagine the old guard fresh in the apocalypse, no human life on earth. they’re dreaming about the boy again, and the only weird thing now is the consistency of it. maybe they’re in europe or something, but most of the planes have been destroyed in whatever-the-fuck took out the population of the whole ass world. it might have taken years to literally find and dig each other out of the rubble. yeah it’s weird the boy is not a frequent dream thing, but it’s not like it’s urgent.)

Anyway, Five jumps into his family’s courtyard and stumbles out, and eats and peanut butter and jelly sandwich, avoids questions about his age by rambling about quantum versions of himself, and goes to Griddy’s where he ends up getting attacked by commission goons and having to walk home barefoot because he had to ditch his shoes

(The Commission couldn’t put a tracker in his arm. His body kept rejecting them somehow, thanks to his... weird temporal nonsense. The Handler kept promising him that they’d find a way to fix him or whatever, but they never did. Assholes.)

Now, the Old Guard squad go to sleep and, thank you, start dreaming of Five in all his somewhat feral glory.

They bolt awake and - “You guys owes me so much money.” Nicky crows victoriously, because he totally won the pot on the next kid dream year, thank you very much.

And any other time that would be the end of it, because they’re used to these fleeting dreams of the boy.

Except Nile exists now. And of course she’s like, we have to find this kid.

Of course the others try to explain to her - except Nile points out a very important fact: it might have taken weeks or months or years to find other immortals back in the day due to travel times and lack of information and all that. But it’s 2019 baby. They have the internet and very fast plane travel. Did you have that when Booker was a baby immortal? no. it took them like, a day to go hunt Nile down though.

“You say you dream about him for a few days or a week or whatever.” Nile points out to the group’s dawning realization, “Well we have the power to get to him in a few days. So we can find him.”

“If we find him then we can never bet on him again though.” Booker points out, and Nicky who is in the process of gloating about his latest win (Nicky has won three times in a row motherfuckers) looks a bit crestfallen. Andy, on the other hand, just looks determined.

“Get off your asses.” Nile says firmly, spinning her laptop around and showing them the one (1) result for a “Griddy’s Diner” that she found that matches whatever the fuck the dream showed her, “We’re going to America.”

“Again?” Nicky complains, “I thought we swore to not go to America again for at least a century.”

(Until Nile’s family definitely dies, they don’t say.)

So they all begrudgingly go to America, during which time Five manages to get called potentially insane by his favorite sister, not get any sleep, bribe his brother to investigate an eye that doesn’t exist, and mourn losing his one lead to who the fuck started the apocalypse.

I don’t think Five or the og squad were expecting to actually meet.

But they’re hunting Five down and looking around and Five is pondering his next move and then just - across the street, their eyes meet.

“YOU.” The OG squad bellows, because Five has been a goddamn mystery for literally thousands of years.

“Me?” Five says, very confused, like someone who has definitely had trauma induced hallucinations and flashbacks whose dream characters decided to show up on the street outside his house for some reason.

And they go over to Five, and Five is like “wow what a weird hallucination to be having, maybe if i ignore it it’ll go away because that’s a healthy mindset to have (:”

and then one of them touches him and just -

Five lashes out. It’s instinctive. He has a knife and he just - stabs. Automatically. and his dream person winces and steps back and -

(He stabbed his dream person. Hallucinations don’t touch him they’re not supposed to touch him and they can’t be stabbed what - )

And then the dream person heals before his eyes.

“I probably deserved that.” Booker muses, grimacing at the hole in his new shirt thank you very much.

“You’re not real.” Five says a little too loudly and a little too insistently to sound at all convincing as he takes a step backwards.

“I’m not real? You’re not real!” Nicky butts in, slightly offended, “You’re the one that keeps - keeps vanishing!”

“Oh my god why are you all disasters.” Nile mourns putting her face in her palms as though she can block out her new weird family by sheer force of will.

“Hey, remember when you died?” Andy offers with a shrug which just makes Nile groan louder. “What’s that about? I’m not even shooting him this time.”

“You can’t shoot him, he’s a baby.” Joe gasps, gesturing towards Five’s thirteen-year-old self.

“I’m not a baby!” Five snaps, bristling on autopilot because the rest of his brain function is stuck on a repeat of “what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck”

“Baby boy. Baby.” Nicky backs his husband up, leaning against Joe and smirking.

“Am not!” Five growls, “And give me my knife back!”

“Finder’s keepers.” Booker says nonchalantly, spinning said knife in his fingers, “If you didn’t want me to have it then you shouldn’t have stabbed me with it.”

“It’s my brother’s knife, you can’t have it.” Five argues.

“Booker.” Andy says firmly, making Booker shrink a little like a scolded child, “Give the kid the knife back. How would you feel if I took your gun?”

“You wouldn’t take my gun.” Booker mutters, handing an increasingly confused Five the knife back, “I would simply shoot you.”

“Ooh,” Nicky snickers, “Fight! Fight! Fight!”

“Don’t encourage them.” Joe says, nudging at Nicky. Which would be fine if he hadn’t added in a slightly lower tone that they could all still hear, “Fifty on Andy.”

“That’s a sucker’s bet, my love.” Nicky laughs, pressing a kiss to Joe’s cheek.

There’s a beat of silence.

“No offense, but what the fuck is going on.” Five states rather than asks, clutching his slightly stolen knife (Diego didn’t even notice when he’s snagged it which honestly means he didn’t deserve to keep the weapon) tight to his chest. “Are you guys... with the Commission?”

“What the fuck is the Commission?” Joe does not whisper to Booker, who is supposed to be the research guy but he just shrugs because he’s useless.

Anyway that’s how the whole Old Guard squad winds up in Reginald Hargreeves creepy ass mansion trying to explain to an increasingly erratic immortal child that, yeah, he’s a little bit immortal. No it doesn’t have anything to do with his powers (powers?? powers??????? what the fuck i mean yes their lives are already so goddamn weird but there is a line and Booker draws it at teleportation what the fuck).

What’s this about an apocalypse?

(When they asked Five for his age, they were not expecting a curt ‘fifty-eight, probably’. Yes they are now aware there is funky time travel involved - which honestly explains so much about the frequently vanishing immortal - but still.

He looks baby but also he is baby. He’s younger than Booker!! Not even a century! They have two whole babies on the immortal squad !!)

“The world is going to end on April 1st.” Five explains, looking deeply uncomfortable. And afraid.

(And young. So very terribly young. He’s been thirteen-years-old for a long time. If these people are right - he’s going to remain thirteen until his immortality, what, wears off? Which could be literally thousands of years in the future?

He has family god damnit. He doesn’t want to outlive them. He just - he just wanted to see them again. To save them.)

And honestly why not. Five has already demonstrated teleportation. Time travel does explain his random popping into their lives via dreams. Why not? And let’s be real, they have way much more to lose by not believing him than believing him.

“Alright let’s stop an apocalypse.” Andy says, clapping her hands together.

“You’re going to help?” Five asks in a small voice, because he had sort of resigned himself to going at it alone.

“Give me the number for the eye.” Nile says kindly, “We have someone we could contact about that sort of thing, or at the very least who can keep an eye out for when it is manufactured and let us know.”

(RIP Copley when he realizes he has to deal with anything involving the Umbrella Academy. I am sure they were a very deep thorn in the governments side for a long time tbh)

“Who The Fuck Are All These People In Our Living Room.” Luther asks, Very Loudly, with Allison close behind.

And yeah. No one really knows how the fuck to answer that, let’s be real. What are they supposed to say? Hey, sorry for crashing, we’re here to lowkey kidnap your newly re-found brother because surprise! he’s immortal! Because that would go over so well.

Anyway, so the Old Guard squad are just there like,, trying to teach Five about his newfound immortality (at least he’s got good at the whole “fuck cameras” thing during his stint in the commission, though admittedly there were plenty of mission from pre-camera times. ah, the age before technology.) and also adopt him? because being immortal means family and family means no one gets left behind (or forgotten, hello Quynh)

(okay yeah they tried to put Booker in time out that one time but after a few years they were just sad and everyone was texting him anyway so now it’s just something they bring up at every opportunity. Joe wants the first turn in the bathroom? Booker, you betrayed him. He was a lab rat, Booker. And on and on until Booker throws up his hands and gives in. Yes, fine, you can have the bathroom first.)

And the Umbrella Academy usually would leave Five to his own devices but... look. Five might have vanished for seventeen years or whatever but he’s still their brother and they can be surprisingly territorial.

At least some people are getting along like a house on fire.

(“You were a crusader?” Klaus asks with wide eyes, “How does that even work?”

“What, being gay?” Nicky asks, tilting his head, “It’s fine. I have a permit.”

“A permit.”

“Mmhmm. From the Pope and everything.”

“I kind of want to be you when I grow up.”)

I can’t tell if things would go more smoothly or if the fuck ups would be even more epic in proportion. On the bright side, the apocalypse probably wouldn’t happen because Andy and Nile immediately clock Leonard-Harold’s serial killer vibes.

(Leonard realizes they’re onto him and tries to kill them which is a big mistake lmao, bye bye Leonard)

It probably ends up in an all out war against the Commission honestly, and the OG squad and the Umbrella Academy teaming up to destroy it.

(“How is this even going to work?” Allison asks at one point, gesturing at Five and the old guard.

“Shared custody?” Joe suggests brightly before doubling over because Five has pointy elbows and is not afraid to use them.)

Andy and Five probably go feral together at one point and it sure is something to behold.

“Now that is a kid who understand what a signal is.” Booker admires after a particularly large explosion happens. Nile just nods along because yeah.

(“How come you guys get to call Five a kid without being stabbed?” Klaus complains.

“He isn’t even a century old. I’m 250 and I was the youngest until Nile popped up.” Booker shrugs.

“We’re in our 950s.” Nicky says, “If little Cinque does not want to be called a kid he should have been born earlier.”

“How old is hot axe woman?” Klaus asks, absolutely enraptured.

They OG squad all exchange a look and just collectively shrug, “Old as balls.”

“Besides,” Booker says dismissively, “What’s he going to do about it? Kill us?”

and that ends that conversation)

(They also don’t discuss how young Five is. How young he was when he died. How that’s going to effect him all his life. How he’s going to be old in years, but he’s always going to be thirteen in the same way that Nile is stuck in her 20s. Sometimes it seems like the immortals are getting younger and younger in age and... it sucks.)

anyway just. Old Guard and Umbrella Academy shenanigans as they stop the apocalypse and try to look after the semi-feral teenager they have been saddled with and figure out what comes next

#far tua long #long post #tog/tua crossover #and then klaus died and wakes up and andy throws her hand up #'THREE? IN LIKE ONE DECADE?' she demands #STOP BEING IMMORTAL #quynh arrives and she and five probably get along like a house on fire tbh #five: yeah being horrifically alone and somewhat frequently dying kind of sucked now that i think about it #quynh: hmm. my child now.#granted quynh's experience was like. horrifically worse? in it's own way?#five's was nothing to sneeze at but daMN QUYNH #who knows maybe the umbrella academy are who finds quynh #they have money #why not go on a captain america esque search for a random immortal in the ocean #they found steve rogers eventually they might as well find quynh amiright #five wants to stay with him family but also like #his family aren't exactly road tripping together and singing songs around the fireplace #they have their own lives #nicky holding up five: bastard #nile: NO #joe: bastard baby. brat boy.#nile: NOO #the old guard are a disaster family and you can pry that from my cold dead hands #anyway it's 1am so have this #andy: hey copley we have a new immortal for you to erase the tracks of #booker wants to be relieved he is DEFINITELY no longer that baby of the family with TWO whole babier immortals #but let's be real he still totally is #joe: FIVE never betrayed us #booker: five would literally sell you to satan for one cornchip #booker: please stop bringing that up at every opportunity

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marley-manson · 2 years

Note

Mash for the ask game?

Thank you for asking!

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character:

Hawkeye, hands down. It's hard to really articulate why actually. I mean obviously there's the gay/gnc jokes taken to such an extreme, and delivered with such a sense of pointed pride in differentiating himself from the average army dude, that it's virtually impossible to read him as straight. There's the anti-establishment vibe that I always latch onto in a character. The pacifism he follows through on - he will not carry a gun in a war zone, he will surrender to any "enemy" soldiers who happen upon him, he will punch Frank in the face but he won't defend himself against someone who doesn't deserve to be hit.

Somewhat unusual for me but I also really adore how open he is about his feelings. I'm used to repressed faves or faves who have to hide behind an image and/or conceal aspects of themselves, and Hawkeye is kind of refreshing in not being like that at all. Like to the point where if the writers don't want Hawkeye to immediately tell everyone what his trauma is for the sake of dramatic effect, they have to give him amnesia.

He's not perfect, sometimes I find him both in character and obnoxious lol, and while I've mildly complained about how the show went about addressing the misogyny of the early seasons and the womanizing, it is still a flaw that fits Hawkeye and that I don't really enjoy lol, but overall he's still one of my all-time favourite characters.

Least Favorite character:

Gotta be Potter I guess, and I won't go too into it bc I've talked about him a lot lol, but yeah in general it's more to do with his role in the narrative and the writing and shifting tone of the show, than with Potter as a "person."

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

Hawkeye/Trapper, Hawkeye/BJ, Hawkeye/Frank (hey it's not my fault he's the only guy Hawkeye's made out with on screen), uhhhh Hawkeye/omc lol bc I like the idea of him with someone unconnected to the war, aaaand Hawkeye/Charles. I'm here for the Hawkeye hitting on men show, obviously.

Character I find most attractive:

Margaret, at least for like, the main cast. There are a few incidental nurses around who give her a run for her money though. None of the dudes are attractive to me at all tbh.

Character I would marry:

I... guess I'll go with Kellye.

Character I would be best friends with:

Klinger.

a random thought:

BJ acts out more (tantrums and pranks and psychological torture) the less he's able to rely on thoughts of his future with his family as a coping mechanism and the more he's forced to experience the present due to his emotional attachments to that present, ie Hawkeye, mainly. In a roundabout way he does torment Hawkeye because he likes him too much for comfort - not in an actually gay way, but in a way that's pretty damn easy to put a gay reading on.

An unpopular opinion:

Hmm. I feel like I've already talked about most of my unpopular opinions. I think my take that Hawkeye has genuinely high self-esteem and is relatively well adjusted (imo he still has some issues, just like, different ones, and for the most part directly related to being in a war zone) feels like the most unpopular sometimes lol. My preference for the early seasons too, as well as my take that they're more progressive overall.

Oh one I don't think I've ever said, is that I don't care at all about the actors or behind the scenes stuff or other roles they're in or anything like that. That's always a bit of an unpopular opinion in live action fandoms ime.

My Canon OTP:

The only canon romance that isn't terrible is Klinger/Soon Lee. Wait no, I said it once in some tags: Hawkeye/Treason.

My Non-canon OTP:

Hawkeye/Trapper is the fave but I wouldn't say I have a Mash otp the way I define it.

Most Badass Character:

Klinger. From put-on but not feigned hypercompetency to disarming a dude holding a bunch of people at gunpoint to doing a ton of physical work all in heels, he's clearly the winner.

Most Epic Villain:

The U.S. Army.

Pairing I am not a fan of:

lots lol, I'm picky about ships. Hawkeye/BJ the way it's usually written is the main one bc I want it weird and messed up, not fluffy. Hawkeye/Margaret is probably the most popular ship I can't stand lol. Like I once tried to read an older fic bc the premise was right up my alley and it was really well written and I just couldn't do it bc it featured Hawkeye/Margaret. I can handle like a one night stand or two between them aside from Comrades in Arms as like, backstory, but anything romantic makes me run.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

None to any significant extent, but everyone's got a few hiccups here and there. Hawkeye in Commander Pierce imo had some major ooc elements for the sake of Margaret's speech about how he's a hypocrite for hating the army. Radar's wavering characterization made it hard to get invested in him imo, though it's not a huge problem to me. Klinger often being The Dude Who Fucked Something Up in later seasons kinda sucks and while it's not blatantly ooc I don't think it vibes with his early seasons. etc etc.

Actually maybe I'll say Potter, because he could've been an incredible addition to the show if the narrative interrogated his Real Army but also a sweet grandpa thing. The potential for interesting writing there is off the charts and almost wholly unutilized.

Favourite Friendship:

Hawkeye and Margaret. I'm running out of things to say about them lol.

Character I most identify with:

I was actually floored by how much I related to Margaret in certain scenes. It's very unusual for me to emotionally connect to a character lol and I've got 0 in common with Margaret so I can't actually say I identify with her, but oh man they nailed some of her feelings in a way that fucked me up a little.

Character I wish I could be:

None lol. Everyone on this show is miserable and traumatized.

meme

#mash #text post #marley on mash #had to really think about a few of these lol #ask #potter mash #hawkeye mash #bj mash #klinger mash

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

Text

And one more bit from the “Kings of the Sky” AU albeit several installments in, because I just......don’t know when or why I stumbled into an obsession with the dynamics between Dick and Jason and Cass as the eldest three Wayne siblings, but its there, its real, and its happening. I’ve stopped fighting it. I just....enjoy writing those three being dumb siblings who are dumb like so, so much.

Anyway, in this AU series, Jason doesn’t go to Ethiopia and die, but rather eventually joins Dick at Titans Tower more regularly and is Flamebird. Both are closer with Bruce here than in canon because Dick helped Bruce and Jason get through the Garzonas stuff and Jason helped kick Bruce in the direction of Dick and adoption papers right after the Brother Blood storyline. Then Cass is actually the third to join the family, by way of Babs, and she’s Batgirl and then Black Bat, but there’s a period of time when its just Dick, Jason and Cass as the Wayne kids.

(PS - this is the same series as where Jason ends up with his own age group of Titans, and accidentally falls into a love quadrangle of doom that is absolutely NOT a polycule dammit, with Tom Bronson (Tomcat), Ray Terrill (The Ray) and Todd Rice (Obsidian). Which amuses his brother and sister to no end).

Tim and Duke are both next, but sorta at the same time? Like Tim’s story takes a sharp turn when Robin II never dies and obviously is Flamebird now like Robin I is Nightwing, and Tim winds up in foster care after his parents die differently than in canon. Duke is also in foster care at this time, though a different placement, and while no Robin has died here, its been awhile since there’s been one in Gotham, and to kids who grew up with the idea of there always being a Robin, that feels weird and wrong ultimately.

So Tim and Duke both hit on the idea of being Robin like, at around the same time and totally disconnected from one another, and that leads to them both joining the Batfam around the same time, and co-sharing Robin until Damian arrives much later and they both move on to new identities. But there’s no real confusion between Robins because Duke is the daytime Robin with more yellow coloring in his costume and Tim is the nighttime Robin with more red, and people say Red or Yellow if they ever need to differentiate which Robin they’re talking about. Anyway.

************

So [Tim and Duke] run into trouble eventually and then when running from trouble they run into each other and they’re like….huh. Awkward. And then they decide well, might as well both run from trouble in the same direction, I guess. So they do.

“Did you have a plan for dealing with these guys?” Tim yelled at Duke. The other boy looked back over his shoulder briefly and gave what would probably have been a half-shrug if he didn’t awkwardly try to barrel-roll over a car two seconds later.

“Umm, sorta?”

“How sorta are we talking about? Maybe the two of us together could fill in the gaps in the plan and come up with one full plan?”

“Uh yeah, no, its not that kinda sorta. I meant sorta in the sense that I thought I had a plan but it didn’t work and that’s why these guys are after me. Sooooo…”

“Not helpful, basically.”

“Yeah. Pretty much. And hey, I don’t hear you offering up a plan! Did you even have one at all?”

“Uh….I mean I kinda didn’t think I was going to need one because I figured some kid running around in a mask making a nuisance of himself was the sorta thing that was bound to attract Batman. And so I was just pretty much running around until that happened, and then I’d make a case for how I obviously need training and Gotham needs Robin and if its not me its likely to be someone else trying eventually anyway so why not be me?”

Duke paused just long enough to squint at him. “That’s a terrible plan.”

Tim rolled his eyes. The effort didn’t pair well with his huffing and over-all exertions from running for his life and all that, but necessity demanded. “Yeah I know, that’s why I never said it was a plan! It was mostly….more…idea-ish.”

“I’m just saying, I thought I was doing this wrong, but at least I had a plan! I mean yeah, it might have ended up with me accidentally busting in on what I thought was a bunch of Riddler’s henchmen setting up some kind of clue thing, only it was actually a bunch of Intergang type guys with alien space guns or some shit all dressed up as Riddler henchmen for some reason? I dunno what they were trying to do honestly, but so yeah I might have ended up running away on foot from like twenty of them and some kind of hovercycle -”

“I’m going to cut you off there and say wherever this is going its probably not the superior vantage point I think you think you have.”

Meanwhile, Batman was not going to be coming because he’s off on a JLA mission. However, in his absence Dick and Jason are in town filling in, and they finished taking out the bad guys several blocks back and caught up to whomever was running from them, figured out the situation and are currently sitting on the edge of a rooftop watching them realize they’re totally lost and trying to figure out where to go from here. Mostly because Dick and Jason are incredibly amused listening to their back and forth and also just…this whole situation.

Dick justifies not piping up to let them know they’re safe now by saying this is good intel gathering so we can offer Bruce our assessment as to whether they’re gonna try and keep doing this whether we train them or not, and also how they handle this whole being lost situation. Not knowing they don’t have to run anymore isn’t going to hurt them and really, this is a good field exercise almost.

Jason justifies not piping up by saying this is fucking hilarious and I will hurt you if you end this any sooner than we have to, I deserve this, I had a rough week.

Which is right around the time that Cass pipes up from where she’s been lurking unnoticed behind them this whole time: “Oh no. Was it Tom? Or Ray? Or was it Todd?”

And she does it right in Jason’s ear so he kinda aborted-shrieks and almost falls off the roof except Cass is ready for that and grabs his arm to steady him.

“I hate when you do that!” Jason growls in an attempt to cover up how badly she got him and also because he hates when she does it which is why she does it a lot. Again, they don’t hate each other at all, but they do seem to act like it a lot, and neither of them is entirely sure why. They kinda just started doing it and have each been trying to get the other back ever since and ended up locked in an unending spiral of gotcha-gotchaback, except, y’know, Batfam style.

Dick occasionally picks sides just to muddy the waters. And then he randomly switches sides without warning, so neither of them ever wants to risk getting too peeved at him even when he’s helping the other, because that might push him fully over to the other side and leave them permanently outnumbered, so they’re kinda stuck, which is exactly as he likes it, lol.

“Why are you Satan,” Jason hisses dramatically as he gets up and stomps over to the other side of the roof to sulk, lest she almost knock him off again. Its not the almost falling part that bothers him, its that she’s the one that snatches him to safety each time. She’s like a freaking cat toying with a - yeah not going there, just blaming Selina. Knew them hanging out was going to be bad news for me somehow, he gripes.

Cass just shrugs and smoothly sits down cross-legged right where she is, grinning Cheshire-cat style at him from there. “Childhood trauma,” is her answer.

“Great, and now you’re stealing my comeback on top of it?! Is nothing sacred to you?”

She offers another shrug. He would like to return those for store credit please. Maybe get something useful instead. “Haven’t decided yet. Babs is still helping me explore my options. We’re going alphabetically and we’re only on the E-religions.”

“God, you’re the worst. I can’t believe you ruined sisters for me.”

“You already used that same line last week when you came out of your room still half-asleep and she was just sitting directly across from your door waiting and staring unblinking and you yelped and dropped your laptop on your toe, and then cursed so loud that B came running around the hall thinking we were being invaded,” Dick reported idly, still perched in the same position he’d been in all along and watching the boys below them. “Just in case you thought no one noticed when you recycle.”

“I noticed too,” Cass added solemnly.

“I have no siblings,” Jason intoned. He threw up his hands dramatically and then loudly jumped down to the street below with a little help from the fire escape. It drew both Duke and Tim’s attention and they startled before realizing it was Flamebird. And that he’d landed on the street and was stalking past them while barely acknowledging them. And that that was Nightwing standing on the roof now with his hands on his hips yelling after him.

“Oh, reeeeeeal subtle. You’re not having fun anymore so you gotta make sure nobody else does either. Wow, the Brat-like behavior, just jumped out of the shadows with that one!”

And that was Flamebird not even turning around and just yelling back. “I HAVE NO SIBLINGS!”

And also they were both pretty sure that was Batgirl crouched on the roof next to Nightwing now, and she was…..sticking her tongue out at Flamebird’s back? No, Batgirl very much definitely was sticking out her tongue, that wasn’t in doubt, it was more just….very unexpected to see.

What was happening right now?

********

Eventually Tim and Duke have inevitably worn down [Bruce’s] resistance to training them by insisting they’re gonna keep doing this and if its not them its gonna be someone sooner or later anyway. Because, as they put it, you guys may not know this but Gotham’s gotten used to Robins by now and it freaks people out not to see one and Robin’s as important as Batman really and there needs to be a Robin and its not just us that will think that, like look at the fact that already two of us had the exact same idea, huh? And also, we’re gonna keep doing it anyway, sooooo….there’s that.

And then Cass vouches that they’re both 100% serious about that.

And then Dick vouches that as a former determined daredevil kid that was absolutely going to keep doing the same thing no matter whether you’d helped me or not, B, I also am of the assessment that these two mean it all the way.

And not to be left out and just to have something to contribute but also grumpy because his brother and sister are picking on him and he’s eighteen going on ten, Jason throws in: “And my assessment is that they both definitely seem dumb enough to keep doing this without help anyway and they definitely need help or they definitely will die, I’d give it a month, month and a half tops.”

And then Bruce dryly thanks his children for their contributions, their keen insights in this matter have been absolutely invaluable, he has no idea how he would make a decision here without it.

“Oooh, a rare sighting of Bat-snark in the wild. Someone call Nat-Geo quick, maybe he’ll do it again,” Dick says.

Bruce sighs. Duke and Tim look like they’re trying to decide if they’re allowed to be amused or if that’s also part of some weird Bat-test that they’re probably taking without even knowing it.

So Tim and Duke move in, start training together, and then also get sent to school together and it takes a month or so of settling in before they decide whether or not they actually are happy about this. There’s a period of deciding they’re supposed to be bitter rivals who snipe at each other back and forth across the dining table at every available opportunity, but that changes the first night Dick and Jason come back from the Tower since Tim and Duke have moved in and where Cass is also home instead of at the Clocktower with Babs.

Since all three of the older Batkids, upon seeing Tim and Duke squabble at dinner, decide to obnoxiously coo about how adorable it is watching the kids play. Which pretty instantly cements Duke and Tim as realizing their best chance of surviving the sudden acquisition of three older superhero ninja foster siblings who all can be as obnoxious as they are dangerous but also as much as they are - Duke and Tim are convinced - all quite insane.

A belief further cemented the next morning, with all three of them having spent the night at the Manor as well. Treating Duke and Tim to their first Saturday morning episode of the Cass and Jason show.

In this episode, Jason emerged from his bedroom in his pajamas still but warily peeking his head out first to look both ways down the hall before deciding it was clear…..and then makes it just almost to the end of the hallway leading to the stairs, when Cass drops down from where she’d been waiting perched above the other side of the door, in such a way as to suddenly fill the doorway just in front of him, hanging upside down suspending herself just with her feet wedged above the doorway, all while keeping her hands crossed her chest, a dead-eyed expression on her face, and with her tongue hanging out like she’s some kind of vampire hanging upside down in mid-slumber.

Jason shrieked and stumbled back a foot before catching himself and shoving two fingers in a cross shape in her direction.

“Demon! DEMON! Goddammit, I abjure thee, that’s supposed to fucking do something about having a demon sister, now what the fuck does it take to banish you!?”

“Can’t be banished,” Cass informed him, still upside down. “Can be bought though.”

Jason halted. “What?”

“I’m really surprised you never figured it out,” Dick said from his room further down the hallway. He was leaning against the doorjamb, arms casually crossed.

“Why did you think she never goes after me?”

Jason swiveled back and forth between his siblings suspiciously, trying to scry both their inscrutable (and in Cass’ case, still upside down) faces for signs they were telling the truth. “You’re telling me that Little Miss Monstrous has been a pain in my ass from day one and the reason she’s never so much as eked a single boo in your direction is you’ve been bribing her all this time?”

Dick shrugged. “Its all about getting in on the ground floor.”

Jason squinted, still unconvinced. “Nuh-uh. No way. You’re just fucking with me. Like if this is for real, what have you been buying her off with?”

Dick smiled beatifically. “Cuddles and hugs.”

“NO! NO! Bullshit! I am NOT falling for this crap again, you are not gonna get me this way this time. I call BS, fuck you, nuh uh, you’re lying out your ass and your ass-face both.”

“Wait, what is this ‘this’ that I did before? What ever are you talking about?”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about.”

“Is this about the Care Bear you had when you were fifteen?”

“Shut upppppppppppppppp, I didn’t have a Care Bear then, you’re such a - “

“Oh, I dunno, I’m preeeeetty sure there’s some holiday photos from that year that would say otherwise, pretty definitively in the form of you and your Care Bear….”

“That I only had because you literally just gave it to me as a present solely so that you could claim that I had a Care Bear when I was fifteen, you douchebag!”

“Just because I gave you the Care Bear didn’t mean you had to keep the Care Bear and hold the Care Bear and love the Care Bear, Jay. You chose to do all that.”

“I only kept the damn thing because you’re an asshole who lied about it being a family heirloom so I felt like I had to or I’d be a total jerk. Is nothing sacred to you?”

“I didn’t lie! It is a treasured family heirloom! Its the first Care Bear I gave to my little brother to teach him the important and valuable lesson that Care Bears - say it with me now - “

“Finish that sentence and they will never find your body.”

“CARE!” Cass shrieked from behind him before jumping on Jason’s back and bearing him down to the floor in an undignified tangle as she splayed atop him like a starfish and he stared up at the ceiling in a kind of strangled frozen fury, like there was so much emotion he wanted to process he’d overheated and now was stuck like that until he cooled down.

That was when Dick leaned over him and solemnly added one final thought, as though it was a crucial addition of the gravest importance:: “A lot.”

Jason’s eye twitched.

Dick’s eyes went wide in response. “Uh oh. He went to the Danger Zone. Run Cass. We’ve unleashed the dogs of war!”

Cass was off and on her feet in a second, taking off down the hall like a rocket. “Not the dogs of war!” She yelled.

Dick was only seconds behind her when behind him, Jason rose like an eruption, growling wordlessly and sparks practically flashing from his suddenly flinty eyes. He charged after them like an enraged bull.

“Kenny Loggins wouldn’t want this!” Dick yelled over his shoulder as he rounded the doorway and vanished. Jason rounded it in hot pursuit.

“Poison Ivy won’t even be able to make compost from what’s left of you when I’m through!”

The yelling and running vanished into the distance. Duke and Tim finally looked at each other blankly.

“What?” Tim asked. Duke shrugged helplessly.

A door opened at the end of the hallway. Bruce stuck his head out. “Is it safe?”

Tim just stared at him.

“What?” Duke asked.

**************

LOL mostly I just want to get to the tail end of the series, when Dick and Jason go undercover as supervillains in the Society of well, Supervillains....Dick as War Shrike and Jason as Gray Jay. (A kind of bird usually known for or referenced as being thieving and unpredictable and unexpectedly dangerous despite its size. Jason never went into the Lazarus Pit here and so isn’t as huge as he is in canon, he’s on the smaller side due to his early life’s malnutrition. Living with Bruce helped him catch up enough that he’s not TINY tiny, but he’s still smaller enough that this particular mantle fits him a little better than it would his massive canon depiction).

Cass also partakes in the undercover storyline, just showing up uninvited in a persona she’s crafted for the mission and calls Black Swan. And War Shrike and Gray Jay are both so startled and obviously a little freaked by her unexpected arrival, that combined with her being ticked at her brothers for leaving her behind, RUDE, and them sufficiently cowed and guilted by her wrath, that it all adds up to the other villains as being clear evidence that she is the boss and they are her advance minions.

Which mollifies and satisfies Cass immensely, and leaves Jason grumpy that their mission was hijacked and also his sister is The Worst, and leaves Dick temporarily disgruntled because This Whole Thing Was His Idea DAMMIT but then five seconds later finding it hilarious because Dick is a chaos connoisseur and he has an appreciation for whimsy and the unexpected.

“I can’t believe you not only gate-crashed our extremely sensitive and delicate undercover operation, but you completely hijacked it as well! This is so typical,” Jason grouched.

Cass simply swept ahead of him and strode down the hallway with lethal grace. “Silence minion.”

Jason spluttered behind her and she grinned to herself. He really made it too easy sometimes.

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imagine-darksiders · 3 years

Note

I hope you feel better soon! When you're feeling better would you be able to write something about jealous Strife? That ask made me curious

“Do you really have to go?”

From your seat at the vanity, you heave an exasperated sigh and set down your lipstick, swivelling around in the chair to face the Horseman who stands sulking at your bedroom door.

“Strife,” you begin patiently, “I'm afraid my answer still hasn't changed since you asked me ten minutes ago.”

“Yeah, I know. It's just -” Averting his gaze, he crosses his arms and grumbles, “I thought we were gonna hang out tonight.”

“And I told you two weeks ago that I wouldn't be around tonight.”

You can't see his expression, hidden as it is behind the silver helm he wears, but you're fairly confident in guessing that there's a pout on his lips.

“And besides,” you add, “We hang out all the time. You practically live here. Hell, you've already turned my spare bedroom into your own personal den.”

'Den' is an understatement. Your spare room is now less of a bedroom more of an Earth museum, filled from floor to ceiling with all of the things that Strife has picked up simply because they took his fancy. For the most part, it's all junk. There's an obsolete gaming console that no longer works, a skateboard, a horse figurine made of glass, no less than three Nerf guns and not a foam dart between them...

Honestly, you're loathe to tell him to get rid of any of it, though you fear you might have to soon if you don't want the mess spilling out into the rest of your house.

Giving your head an exasperated shake, you check the time on your phone and stand up, throwing your bag over a shoulder. “Listen, it's just one evening with an old friend who I haven't seen since before the apocalypse. We can hang out tomorrow, I promise. But now, I really need to dash, he'll be here to pick me up any minute.”

Pausing to stuff your phone into the pocket of your trousers, you head towards the door, hardly noticing that the Horseman is still standing in front of it with his arms folded neatly across a broad, armoured chest. It's only because you glance up right at the last second that you manage to avoid a painful collision. “Um...Strife?” you ask, halting in your tracks, “... Move?”

In response, he simply leans back against your door and begins to inspect the claws on one of his gauntlets. “Nah... I'd rather hear about this friend of yours. You've never mentioned him.” Pausing, he shoots you a sly smirk that you can sense more than see, his golden eyes flashing, “You guys close?”

With a roll of your eyes, you mimic his posture, crossing your arms and giving him a glare that would make Death proud. “Strife, what's gotten into you? I just said I'm going to be late for my friend.”

“Yeah, I get that,” he returns coolly, “Just wanna know that my friend isn't walking into a trap.”

“Oh wow – a trap? Really? Of all the-” You cut yourself off and raise a hand, massaging at your temple. “Okay. Now you're just being ridiculous. It's not a trap.”

“Why don't you let me come with you, just in case?”

“Because!” you cry, throwing your arms up, “It'll be awkward! You remember what I taught you about third-wheeling?”

He remembers it well, in fact. Just like he remembers everything you teach him, committing the moments to memories that he'll carry with him until the day he snuffs it. He only has you for less than a hundred years, after all, and he's determined to remember every last bit of it. The Universe must have thought itself pretty hilarious when it placed you in his life. Of all the creatures in all the realms, the one he ends up caring about most just so happens to be the one with the shortest lifespan. It makes him want to hunt down the Creator and shoot a hole where a heart might be.

Shoving down his contempt for the omnipotent bastard, Strife returns his attention to you and lifts his shoulders in a shrug. “I don't mind tagging along. You know, just in case I have to watch your back.”

Your response hits him harder than a crack from Fury's whip. “I don't need you to watch my back every second of every day! Stop being so paranoid.”

The Horseman is too proud and obstinate to ever let the stab of hurt show in his eyes, but he can't ignore its presence in his chest.

He is not being paranoid... He's being a good friend - watching your back, looking out for you, all the things a friend is supposed to do. Not that he's had much experience being friends with a human. Or anyone, for that matter, who isn't a horse or his siblings. It's been a learning curve for both of you, though more-so for him, and so far, the most prominent challenge he's faced is balancing the line between being a friend and being an overprotective nuisance.

It perhaps hasn't helped that, ever since humanity was resurrected, the pair of you have been nigh inseparable. He's grown used to your presence – is dependant upon in, according to Death; a fact that Strife had vehemently tried to deny, at least until he learned that you'd made plans. Plans with someone else. Plans that didn't involve him.

It was only once he'd taken some time to reflect and found that he had indeed been glued to your side for months, that he realised the awful truth.

His older brother was right, after all. The smug ass.

A shudder rolls over the Horseman's body and he blinks, realising that in the few seconds he's been lost in thought, you've managed to reach around him to push open your bedroom door.

“Hey!” he complains as you all but shove past, and he – being the soft-touch that he is – simply allows himself to be moved aside. Grumbling, he follows you across the landing and down your sweeping staircase until you reach the front door and stop beside it.

From outside, the thunderous roar of an approaching, automobile's engine thrums in his ears.

“That's him!” you chirp, and Strife hates the way your face lights up at the mention of whoever 'he' is.

Throwing open your door, you head outside and try to pull it shut behind you, yet find your efforts abruptly halted by the Horseman sticking close to your heels. He ducks through the low doorframe and moves to stand beside you, his viciously keen gaze raking over the vehicle that idles at the end of your driveway.

By his own admission, Strife has always had a weakness for those 'motor bikes' the humans like to ride, with their shiny gaskets and noisy engines. But this one – the one upon whom sits a tall, lanky human – Strife does not care for.

“Anton!” you call out, flying down the driveway, splaying your arms out wide in anticipation of a hug.

'Anton' laughs brightly and kicks down the bike's stand as he leaps from the seat, his own arms only just opening in time to receive you when you crash into him with a whoop of delight.

As soon as those long, stringy arms wrap around your shoulders, the Horseman's hackles raise like a feral beast's and the sudden presence of Anarchy begins to claw at the confines of his ribcage. For a few moments, he wrestles with himself, weighing the pros and cons of letting his most primal form take over for a while, but after envisioning the disapproving frown that's sure to adorn your face should he pull such a stunt, he bitterly shoves a reluctant Anarchy back down and settles upon prowling down the gravel drive after you, glaring hard at the stranger the entire way. Admittedly, he is a little surprised at himself for the animosity. On the whole, he's always maintained a good rapport with other humans. He likes the species, a lot. So to suddenly be filled with such a strong disliking for this particular human strikes him as odd and out of character.

Then, Anton's hands slide down to your lower back and another bout of indignant fury flares up in the Horseman's belly. After what he thinks is, quite frankly, an obscene amount of time, the stranger releases you, holding onto your shoulders and leaning back to get a better look at your face.

“God, it's good to see you, Y/n,” he drawls, eyeing you from head to toe in a way that makes the Horseman's skin crawl, “I can't believe it! You've changed so much!”

Grinning shyly up at him, you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and reply, “Hopefully for the better?”

His own smile widens. “You were always at your best, even before the apocalypse. Still, being Humanity's Hero seems to be really suiting you, huh?”

At once, your expression falls and you pull a face, extracting yourself from his grasp. “Oh god, don't call me that. I've told the media till I'm blue in the face - the Horsemen are the ones who deserve to be called heroes. Oh, speaking of whom...” You turn to face the looming presence at your side and gesture up to Strife. “I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine.”

Anton's gaze leaves you long enough to flick over towards the Horseman and you watch as he does a very comical double-take, his eyes bulging for a moment before he manages to compose himself again and lifts his hand in greeting. “Hey! You must be one of those Horseman guys. Death, right?”

Noticing that the Nephilim's hands curl suddenly into tight fists, you interject, “Uh, actually, this is Strife, Tones.”

“Tones?” He really does try to keep the disdain from his voice when he switches his burning, golden glare between you and the other human. “I thought you said his name was Anton?”

How many other friends do you have?

“It's a nickname, Strife,” you reassure him quickly, “This is Anton.”

A nickname... Of course. The Horseman's stomach twists itself into a knot and he can't stop himself from blurting out, “How come you've never given me a nickname?”

The human concept surrounding abbreviated names was a fairly easy one for him to grasp when he first learned of them. They're terms of endearment, meant to signify familiarity and friendship.

He's your friend. He's familiar. Why doesn't he have a nickname too?

"Ugh, I'm sorry. We'll brainstorm nicknames when I get back," you huff, "But the restaurant will give our table away if we don't hurry. So -"

Turning to usher Anton onto the bike, you hardly manage to take one step before a large, metal hand is sliding around your forearm and tugging you gently to a halt. Biting back a groan, you glance over your shoulder, ready to scold him, but one look at his slouched stance and averted gaze stops you in your tracks.

"Uh. Hey, Tones?" you call, never taking your eyes off the Horseman's mask, "Can you give us a sec?"

The human behind you is careful to check that Strife isn't looking when he rolls his eyes and grunts in acknowledgement before he turns and saunters over to his bike, leaning up against it and pulling out his phone.

Once Anton has turned his attention elsewhere, you raise a brow at the Horseman and wait, patient, expectant. After working his jaw for a moment or two, he finally looks at you properly and tightens his grip on your arm, not until it's painful, but enough that you understand what he's trying to convey in the gesture.

He really doesn't want you to go.

"Strife?" you prod.

Reluctantly, he lets out a rough exhale.

Although he's far better at it than his siblings, watching Strife try to openly express emotion isn't unlike watching someone pull their own teeth out with a pair of pliers. The process is slow, and it's best to sit back and listen to him rather than try to encourage him to speak. So, that's what you do, and eventually, your patience is rewarded when after another few seconds of silence, he offers a strained chuckle and says, "This guy isn't my replacement, is he? I know the bike is cool, and all, but..."

"Your replacement?" you laugh, incredulous, "Strife. I don't know how it worked with Nephilim, but for humans, having another friend doesn't cancel out any existing ones."

He knows that. He's not some whelp who never learned how to share. Frustrated with himself, the Horseman huffs and turns his head to the side, glaring hard at nothing in particular.

"Hey..." An old habit kicks in, and before you can stop yourself, you reach up to trace your fingertips along the underside of Strife's helm, tipping it back towards you and smiling at the bewildered look in his yellow eyes. Confident that he's paying proper attention, you pull your hand away again and state, "I could search the whole universe from top to bottom for the next hundred, thousand years, and I'd never find a friend who could replace you, okay? So stop worrying. Your ranking as 'my best friend' is not under threat."

"M'not worrying," he grumbles, but inside, his heart is aglow with the warmth of your words. At the back of his mind, Anarchy rumbles happily. You said best!... He's your best friend? He tries to recall you ever calling him that before. Then he realises that, no, you can't have done. He wouldn't forget a moment like that. Not in a million years. Just like he won't forget how he feels right now after hearing those two words.

Oblivious to the fate you've just sealed for yourself, you clap your hands together, bringing the conversation to what you hope is an easy conclusion. "Good. In that case, will you please let me go with Anton now?"

The Horseman's mood sours almost immediately, but at least he peels his fingers off your arm.

"Hey, kid?" he address Anton, packing his voice with all the menace and threat that he can muster, "If I find out she gets hurt on your watch, I'll introduce you to a couple'a friends of mine..." His hands fall less-than subtly to his holsters, where the silver handles of Mercy and Redemption glint in the sunlight.

Anton's face pales upon seeing the Horseman's legendary pistols.

"Stop that," you scold him, smacking the back of your hand against the armoured chest plate before turning to your other friend and calling, "Come on, Tones, let's go."

Anton all but throws himself onto his bike, kicking the stand back and jamming his keys into the ignition whilst you climb on behind him, albeit far more gracefully. The man tosses you a helmet and you shove it onto your head.

Strife's eyes remain settled upon your hands that wrap snugly around Anton's waist and it takes everything in him not to grab you, haul you off the bike, drag you back to your home and lock you inside.

“I'll be back late tonight,” you call over the roar of the engine as you begin to pull away, “There's food in the fridge if you want to eat! And my Netflix is still logged in! I'll see you later, okay!?”

Strife doesn't respond, not because he can't think of what to say, but because there would be no point. Anton has already peeled away and pushed the bike to a reckless speed. All the Horseman can do is stand there at the end of your driveway, his shoulders drooping dejectedly.

After you're nothing more than a dot on the far horizon, he tears his eyes off you and lets them fall to the tarmac near his boots.

He never notices you looking back.

#darksiders #darksiders genesis #Strife #reader #jealousy

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organic-guacamole · 3 years

Text

episode 210 here we go

awww seb doing the intro

congratulations to milky white and her baby chocolate milk😌

seb is so funny

but seriously, clean up that milk fast or else it will smell so bad in there....

was that Lauryn just randomly doing cartwheels? idk any theatre kids irl but that seems like it's a common thing...

is it just me or has ms Jenn been getting more harsh to Ricky and Seb mainly-

like what did they do to her

no because I actually snorted with laughter at the "you came back" WHAT IS THAT VOICE-

AND THE MASK OMG

yeah so my throat hurts now

I'm dying over here

KOURTNEY'S FACE

SAME GIRL SAME

Ricky's fake death got the whole place in tears /s

he looks like an asthmatic walrus

Seb's on piano, I love

we all know if he was the beast we'd all actually be crying✋

ok but I listen to Julia's version of home on Spotify when I want to cry-

right so gimme a second

is Ricky scratching his face.....while he's dying?

"belle i-" *flop*

round of applause to Ashlyn for trying to make Ricky's earthworm seizure look less.... yknow

Kourtney's just dying there

WAIT IS THAT NATALIE

did she really just disappear for 9 episodes just to come back and stare dramatically into the camera

WAIT SCRATCH THAT SHES HERE TO MURDER ASHLYN AND RICKY

oh so Ricky's wearing a gay shirt now too

so that's the real reason why Rini broke up, see y'all next season when Gini and caswen become canon /j

wait that was a long intro scene-

what was that look Carlos-

TALK TO MY BOY OR ELSE

carlos' run is so funny to me

therapist Ashlyn to the rescue

"that is...super" son you good?

ms Jenn call Benjamin, he would willingly put his loved ones on a rocket and blast them into Venus for you....

maybe

"I don't want you kids to be disappointed" girl you do realise you're the one that's most invested in this?

"a smooth opening night" wasn't there just 1 show though-

like their opening night was closing night too

"I think I was Troy at one point" PLEASE THATS THE MOST ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF THE SEASON 1 FINALE

me Jenn looks like a serial killer during that clap and I'm lowkey scared for zacky

"I have notes"

oo if you're taking suggestions, lemme get my list

"mother is freaking out" uhhhhhh

right....'mother"

"is everyone sitting down?"

*looks around awkwardly*

*big red slowly sits*

"no..."

please seb was the only one sitting-

does that mean Carlos looked at Seb as soon as he walked in and assumed that everyone else was sitting too or am I a seblos clown🤡

"is this about the transformation"

WOW MAYBE OT IS RICKY

WOW HES A DETECTIVE FOR FIGURING THAT OUT SO QUICK🤩

YO WHY IS NATALIE HERE-

she just shows up when it's convenient? is she gonna be at the sleepover too?

Seb's heavy swallow after Carlos shouts at him makes me so sad

"I never learned how to lie but I figure if I keep my mouth closed, I can't tell the truth" *nods and smiles at Nini when she asks*

why are they casually standing up all over the pizza shop, just sit at a big table and talk instead of blocking passageways and blocking off at least 6 tables-

"how about I invite myself" WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO INVITE THEMSELVES TO ASHLYN'S HOUSE-

YOU CAN ASK BUT JUST FORCE YOUR WAY IN?

so Cash Caswell has a bigger house than... Dennis Caswell.... who would've thought

ah yes there's the good old EJ 1.0

Nini: "boys vs girls"

Gina: *looks devastated and glances longingly at EJ*

way to be inconspicuous

"but north high should be" *cracks her knuckles in the most uncomfortable way*

good for Ashlyn for getting more confident though

oo bossy big red

"i get bossy around the power tools"

is that why Ashlyn was holding up the drill in episode 8 orrrr 🤠

Lily, leave him alone please

she's literally not blinking, is that what makes her creepy?

the diss at big red and his face afterwards is priceless

isn't that similar to what Gina's mom said to her in season 1? hmmmm

but seriously please don't try to redeem lily, let us have a character to hate, or to love because they're evil.

not everyone's a good guy.

"im not liked here and I don't know what to do"

let antoine finish his salad and it'll fix everything

"hug emoji" *gags*

y'all realize Lily's literally 14?

why is she calling a 16/17 year old from another school for personal advice-

"he gets weird around tools"

I shouldn't be laughing so hard

"deja vu maybe?" awkward silence

I'm dying here I love EJ so so so so much

"where's seb"

*cuts to seb being held hostage hoping that they'd notice he's missing and go look for him*

"don't ask"

"oh ok"

"100% real faux fur" as you should queen

sponsored by target

Kourtney is singlehandedly saving the entire show.

Seb making finger guns make me happier than it should

why is this kinda making me want to have a co-ed sleepover with my non-existent theatre friends

YES YOU DO NEED TO TALK/SING TO SEB CARLOS THANK YOU FOR KNOWING THAT

wait what-

you haven't talked to him all WEEK-

Carlos are you stupid /hj

Benjamin is so adorable I can't

he turned around to come back for her instead of going home. you're "what do you want Jenn🙄X act isn't fooling anyone Benjamin 🙃

10101

1+4+16= 21st?

they placed 21st?

or do I just not remember how to convert to base ten

GIRL DON'T BE RUDE TO HIM, HE'S GONNA SAVE YALL

no ms Jenn, the kids are not eccentric 35 year olds.

aww sebby

is he thinking that Carlos is only with him cuz he's the only other openly gay guy at school-

son you are a perfect little bean don't put yourself down

yes they all ship portwell as they should.

they'll be throwing risotto at the wedding.

not the chocolates. stop there are no chocolates. please stop I'm dying.

Gina you don't have to explain yourself to her

it was a misunderstanding and it's in the past

why is Ashlyn still laughing-

exactly it wasn't a big deal please just move on Nini

Kourtney really be out here saving everything

WHY IS ASHLYN STILL LAUGHING

why do I feel like when Gina finally told Ash about it, she didn't think it was that funny but wanted to feel included in the inside joke so now she brings it up randomly to show that she's in on it....I totally don't do that...

"idk, the farmer type" oh son...

Ashlyn and big red are just spilling the secrets back and forth huh?

OOO EJ AND GINA SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-

cmon guys don't look at me like that-

"she is the best" and "we're buddies" don't sound right together

"pretty boy" "sweet boy" best ways to describe EJ

I love him.

and aw he's scared of rejection so he'll hold back just to keep her happy and not awkward how sweet

is Ricky wondering if letting her go(literally his song from last episode) was the best thing he did for Nini because he doesn't feel like it now? hmmm this is getting good

why is everyone so invested in Kourtney and Howie's relationship

PACK UP THE LAZY RICKY THING

oh yes Benji, that's exactly what she's doing

she couldn't follow her dream or whatever so now she's using the kids to gain some of the success she craves. why else would she have that massive hsm poster with her name on it in huge letters in her office.

just casually grab his hand with both your hands and stare at him creepily 🥰

ship jennzzara y'all

the first bump was a missed opportunity to do the baymax "falalala" as a reference to the fact that they watched big hero six while committing arson✋

wait so big red and EJ just left Ricky in the basement and now Ricky invited Carlos when they're supposed to be at the stage?

help no Ricky looks like he's about to tell Carlos he likes him (I know it's about writing the song for seb but still, look at his body language and tell me it doesn't look like that)

Ricky is so mature about this, he really just wants Nini to be happy even though he's hurting-

baby you deserve love, maybe Nini isn't the one for you but don't say you don't deserve it

why does he keep adding bro to the end like he doesn't know how to address Carlos

PLEASE CARLOS HAVING TO ADDRESS THE BRO THING

"let's write a song when we have like 45 minutes to get to the place and help our friends possibly win $50000 at the show in 2 weeks"

"can you hit a high C?"

"that's like the bottom of my range"

why am I laughing

this is so cool to see friendship interactions that we don't normally get to see

Nini why are you being like this-

Gina did nothing wrong??

I saw that, EJ and Gina being the only ones going in the same direction👀

right so obviously Kourtney's waiting until after the menkies to get back with Howie just in case he really is just using her as a way in to east high... obviously... right?

CARLOS

OK ITS COMING GET READY YALL

Why is portwell so awkward all of a sudden

OMG EJ

OMG GINA SAY YES or not, do what you want.

the way she doubts that EJ would genuinely ask so she has to make sure it's not Ashlyn behind it

THE "NOT THAT I KNOW OF"

LIKE WHAT GINA SAID TO JACK ABOUT EJ BEING HER BOYFRIEND

GUYS THEY'RE SOULMATES

I want risotto now please

THEY'RE SO SWEET AND ADORABLY AWKWARD ITS LIKEEK LITTLE KIDS

OOOOOOO what is this place that seblos is in, looks fancy....and secluded

oh wait no Ricky's just standing there

wait is it the bomb shelter

it looks so good what

HSKAGSJAGAJAGWISGSKAUASBWKSVAIWBAISBQKSHIQBWOABWOABDOQBZIQBAIAQBSIWBQISVQKSIANSGOQBSAISBKASBKWBAIABQOSBBSJAHAJAVAJSBAJHSKAHSJAHAJAJAAJAHHHHHHHH

@youranxiousnerd ARE YOU OK?

CUZ IM NOT OK

LOOK AT SEBBY'S FACE

LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE IT IS

THE LYRICS ARE KILLING ME

SEBLOS IS KILLING ME

I AM DEAD

PLEASE SEND HELP

I like to imagine that Frankie and Joe practiced this in their apartment and just had a blast with it.

or maybe that Frankie practiced in secret like what Joe did for the climb

OH THE SUITS

THATS WHERE THAT CLIP IN THE PROMO WAS FROM

AWWW SEBBY'S SO CUTE

HE'S A LITTLE MARSHMALLOW

they're still so awkward with the dance I cant

let's appreciate Frankie's voice though

this episode really was made just for the seblos and portwell stans and you gotta love it

BIG RED GET OUT

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

Seb's little "yeah" IS ADORABLE

you can't tell me that wouldn't have been the best time for them to say I love you....IF FREAKIN BIG RED WASN'T THERE

ok but wait Ricky needs more hugs like that, look at his face

the boy needs love

"bro" please don't let Ricky and Carlos go back to not talking because their friendship is amazing

EJ laughing at Ricky sounding like a cat coughing up a furball is so funny to me

RICKY'S FLOP GETS ME EVERYTIME

I knew it was too good to be true

ok so Ricky's dead, next in line please

this episode was so short but I love it so much. this is what I signed up for for season 2✋

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts season 2 #ej caswell #ricky bowen #gina porter #hsmtmts spoilers #seblos #seb mathew smith #carlos rodriguez #big red #ashlyn caswell #kourtney greene #lily hsmtmts #ms jenn #mr mazzara #natalie bagley #guac's episode text blocks :)

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woulddieforperrytheplatypus · 3 years

Text

I've been rewatching all the Loki content to get ready for the new show and I have thought of A Phineas and Ferb AU™ for your viewing pleasure (and if anyone wants to turn any part of this into an actual fanfic I would owe you my life)

this post was brought to you in partnership with @dumbausfromdanville

You know how the first Thor movie ends with Loki yeeting himself off the Bifrost and falling to earth? What if, instead of going after the Tesseract, he falls straight to the Tri-State area?

Jane, Darcy, and Selvig all seemed to be on vacation, right? So Thor presumably took place during the summer — say, perhaps, ending on June 3? So he falls right onto Phineas and Ferb's rollercoaster just before it goes down that ♫ three-mile drop straight down ♪. He has no idea wtf is happening so it's not like he gets the chance to sit down and put on a seatbelt, so he's stuck holding on for dear life for the entire rollercoaster ride which Phineas and Ferb find weird but they're not really concerned bc they're chill lil dudes and tbh this isn't too far off a normal day for them.

Phineas and Loki strike up a none-too-pleasant conversation (not that Phineas notices Loki's bad mood; he's too Him to realize not everyone is rainbows and sunshine all day, every day), and our favorite lil disoriented demigod has to figure out where the fuck he is now ("You there. What realm is this?" "Danville 🙂" "Wut da fuk?") and what the fuck he's supposed to do now that he's here.

Phineas ends up inviting him to hang out for the afternoon, and Loki is about to turn him down but then he smells the pie. He's never had doonkleberry pie before so obviously he has to try it. Then, when Loki's no longer hangry, they can hold an actual conversation. It's lowkey more Loki wallowing in his own self-pity than anything else, but Ferb recognizes Asgard when Loki mentions it so he and Phineas piece together that he's a god pretty quickly.

More importantly, though, they figure out that he's completely alone, and because Loki never mentions trying to, you know, murder his brother and lowkey overthrow the monarchy, they just kinda assume Loki's family sucks (Ferb is completely prepared to start the anti-Thor club but Phineas stops him because he doesn't want his brother to get struck by lightning) and adopt him (without his consent, but it's not like he has anywhere else to be -- and he did like that pie).

Loki has no desire to build anything with the boys He thinks the idea of a backyard beach they make the next morning is stupid — even more stupid than a regular beach, and that's saying something. But over time, he gets more involved -- not just with the boys, but with the entire family. He helps the boys build their inventions. He talks about human history with Lawrence and corrects much of his knowledge on mythology. He lets Linda teach him how to bake seriously, her pies are so good. He even suffers through Candace's mall trips as long as he gets to go to that fro-yo place on the second floor (though he draws the line at any conversation involving romance).

He's still a little skeptical of the platypus (and he feels like the platypus is a little skeptical of him, too) but Phineas insists that he's "just a platypus" and he "doesn't do much." Loki doesn't realize that Perry's keeping an eye on him for OWCA, nor does he know that Monogram has absolutely no idea what to make of the dude so he hasn't actually told any of his superiors about him. As far as the government is concerned, after the fiasco in New Mexico, Loki just disappeared.

This makes it fucking hilarious when the boys accidentally steal the superheroes' powers in Mission: Marvel and the superheroes show up at the Flynn-Fletchers' front door only to see fucking Loki. Loki just shuts the door in their faces without a word because what the fuck?, but eventually Phineas and Ferb go check the door and they agree to help the heroes (much to Loki's chagrin), which, of course, isn't complete with Candace fangirling over them (also much to Loki's chagrin; she never fangirled over him). At first the Avengers are fully convinced that Loki is responsible for stealing their powers, and Loki never actually denies it because he's a little shit but Phineas, Ferb, and their friends are very insistent that Loki didn't do anything (except a little bit of manual labor putting together the satellites because they're 10 and he's a whole-ass demigod).

At some point, Thor and Loki have a very heated discussion about the events of Thor, and it's pretty much all news to the Flynn-Fletchers and their friends. They're not really sure what to make of it so they basically glue their mouths shut and watch it all play out. I'd like to think it goes something like it does in The Avengers and that a) Thor is pissed because what the fuck have you been up to Loki you fucking dumbass, b) Thor has been in mourning since Loki yeeted himself into the abyss and he wants to make sure the guy knows it, and c) Loki does not take it seriously at all he's being antagonistic the entire time because he is so sick of Mr. High-And-Mighty's shit. In the end, Loki storms out of the SHEDquarters and Phineas doesn't even think to try to stop him until he's halfway out the door and it's too late.

He shows up again when Phineas, Ferb, and the Avengers try to fight the bad guys in the mall with the wrong powers and he basically singlehandedly saves their asses until superhero Perry shows up. As everyone's favorite shapeshifter, he has absolutely no problem figuring out that this beaver duck dude is the Flynn-Fletchers' platypus. He has no idea what to do with that information, but it sure is information that he now has apparently. (At this point, poor Loki has a very warped sense of what earth is supposed to be like lmao).

Phineas tries to get Loki to come back with them after superhero Perry grabs them and carries them home. Instead, Loki cuts himself loose and falls like 30 feet straight down (and tbh after falling from the Bifrost, that's nothing to him) and peaces the fuck out.

Loki ends up accidentally bonding with Candace and Isabella over feeling useless and unwanted (and he absolutely gets his own verse in Only Trying to Help because it's what he deserves), but unlike the two girls who are hell-bent on changing that, Loki is content wallowing in his own self-pity. He's tried this whole "being important" thing before and he ended up in self-exile for it. He's not putting himself through it again because he really doesn't expect it to end well. But then the powerless heroes decide to face the villains again, and with Candace and Isabella in space and Perry nowhere to be seen, he realizes it is once again up to him to keep the tri-state area safe (which he knows is a stupid priority but he's gotten kind of attached to these stupid little humans and he wants to keep them safe).

Then the heroes get their powers back and they join Loki (and Perry and the mysterious waffle gun in the sky) and beat the shit out of the villains. Thor and Loki work together in the heat of the battle which serves as a Great Bonding Moment™, and once the villains are gone, they have a nice lil heart-to-heart where they both apologize for their past. Thor remarks that Loki seems to have grown a lot over the last couple of months and tries to bring Loki home with him, but Loki refuses. He'll never be welcome back into Asgard, no matter what Thor may say.

But he is welcome with the Flynn-Fletchers, who are completely over the fact that he tried to ruin Thor's life and take his not-so-rightful place on the throne (except Candace who's very skeptical about having him back but it's not like Linda will believe her if she tries to tell her what Thor and Loki talked about so her opinion is unfortunately as irrelevant as it usually is on the show).

And early the next morning, before anyone else is awake, Perry gets an alert that he's needed in his headquarters (presumably to talk to or about Fury). He quietly sneaks off, only to find Loki waiting at the bottom of the stairs for him. They have a very nice "conversation" (not that Perry speaks) about the superhero Ducky Momo they saw the day before, and Loki assures him that his secret is safe, thus starting a much-needed bromance between Loki and Perry because it's what my babies, goddammit!

Anyways yeah if anyone wants to write a fanfic about Loki hanging out with Phineas and Ferb during his self-exile I would give you a socially distant high-five because I want to read it but I have too many other fanfics on my plate to start this one for at least a few months. It doesn't have to follow this prompt literally at all (I swear I wasn't trying to get this in-depth with it but this is what I do apparently) or it can follow this prompt exactly idc i just want a PnF/Loki fanfic 🥺

#marvel #mcu #loki #phineas and ferb #pnf #fanfic idea?#mission: marvel #mission marvel

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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

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yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

#i love all of you guys so much thanks for all these asks #some of these are literally from march but fuck it #the day tumblr puts dates next to anon messages is the day i close my inbox crawl into a hole and die #it's such a basic task to answer asks but i don't want to bother anyone with asks clogging up their timeline #and if i don't have a funny or good answer i'm like 'uhh okay won't answer it now then'#so this is for you #also i deleted a few asks because it gives me mental pain to see my inbox go over 50 and it's almost at 100 #i was complaining about having too many asks to the-real-peter-parker like months ago and then i had 45 asks in my inbox #now it's amassed to going over 100 twice #but no i love all of you and you're great and you're all fantastic and i lvoe you #muchos kiss kiss #kiss kiss for my kiddies lvoe you #invincible spoilers #dc #dcu #dc comics #ask #anon #bataranswers #i really wanna try aguapanela now i'm gonna see if i can find panela somewhere and review it for you babes #uh yeah that's it #muchos gracias for all your questions babes

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onlyhereforangst · 4 years

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*if you enjoyed this week’s NCIS episode do not continue reading, scroll right on past this post*

ok WHERE TO START.

Maybe with the fact that NCIS quite literally would not have been called to that accident. Literally, no reason. They have zero jurisdiction. Just like they have ZERO jurisdiction when Gibbs actually trespasses. Y’all he trespassed. There was no probable cause no nothing, no reason for him to be on that property. So like in all of this, they should have never been in this situation so thanks for making *that* believable, writers.

Oh and then let’s get into a particularly fun part. God damn CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL, PLEASE. I’m not sure if they got a *single* vet-related topic right. Scratch that, they defined a term correctly so whoop-de-fucking-do they know what a dictionary is, congratulations. Let’s run down the list of the mistakes shall we? First, a dog with a gunshot wound in the chest is hiiiiighly unlikely to survive let alone run across the street, casually not be in shock and sit up completely alert as a person walks up, and make it out of surgery/hospitalization less than one day later. That’s cute. AND I’m sorry but pericardiocentesis? Yes you defined the procedure correctly, gold star for you, but you WOULD NEVER NEED THIS WITH A GUN SHOT WOUND. This happens most commonly from cancer, heart failure, or *maybe* hit by a car trauma. But there is nothing that makes a gunshot wound to the far end of the chest result in blood around the heart. Blood in the lungs? Now we’re talking. But blood in the pericardial sac? Oh honey, no. Just no. There were other big words you could’ve put there, so many others. And then good god the bandage job, HAH. Catch me laughing my ass off at the hilariously horrific job of bandaging. Not even close to right and imma just leave it at that. ITS ON THE DAMN ABDOMEN INSTEAD OF THE THORAX WHERE SHE GOT SHOT PLUS ITS INCORRECTLY WRAPPED PLUS WHERE IS HER CHEST TUBE FOR HER HEMOTHORAX SHE SHOULD HAVE OKAY WHERE IS IT. and then moving on to our lovely “hair loss” like Kasie, the writing crew, everyone- those are scars. From being a bait dog. Every single dog you see there looked like a textbook bait dog. That “hair loss” is not from some damn pool chemical and you trying to sell me on that one is a crying shame, NCIS. Plus Jesus can we get a real hair pluck? You ain’t gonna get a damn thing with those forceps, get me some sterile hemostats, stat. Aaaand finally, I’ll wrap this up: PREDNISONE AINT GONNA GET YOU BUILT BRO. It’s not gonna get your dog built and it’s not gonna get you to lose weight. Prednisone is a catabolic steroid aka it breaks things down. Things like muscle mass that apparently these dogs are taking to fight. And surprise it makes dogs & humans gain weight. Another lovely fact it does not give dogs roid rage so don’t try and sell me on that shit either, writers. You picked two literal opposite steroids to list off, one being so unbearably wrong it should be hysterical but it’s just an embarrassing show of lack of research.

Ahhh now to my favorite part. The blatant and disgusting police br*tality of it all. At attempt at masking this by claiming its “for the dogs” is pathetic and the problem. If you try and tell me that the shit they just pulled on the show is “ok” because the dude was abusing and killing dogs, that is the problem. That’s exactly how people rationalize systemic racism in case you were wondering. But I digress. Never, NEVER was this an okay script to air, let alone after the events of Summer of 2020. Tone-deaf and despicable, frankly. First we have the act of police br*tality made to seem ok because he was the suspect right? He was the guy? Yeah but newsflash: innocent until proven guilty and not by your fucking fists. Second we have a deliberate cover-up. Good lord you all think it’s not only okay to lie but then are mad you put you in that situation??? And the IG who’s investigating a legitimate case of br*tality is a villain??? And the director of NCIS is trying to help stall??? And then you’re MAD A BODY CAM CAUGHT IT ON FILM LIKE IT DIDNT DO EXACTLY WHAT IT SHOULD FUCKING DO????? Are you JOKING. This was the shittiest of shit tastes I’ve seen on this show. And if the point was to highlight the “bad” of police br*tality by god they fucked that up. Instead we get a happy, new dog-owner agent who’s only casually suspended because everyone and their brother decided it was okay to cover up a legitimate crime (no I don’t give a fuck that he did end up being the killer and yes I love animals. If you haven’t caught on I’m a damn veterinarian who took an oath to protect animal welfare & prevent and relieve animal suffering. I have personally seen and treated cases of neglect and recovering abused bait dogs. I’ve seen this shit first hand, daily for years and no I do not condone beating a man to a pulp- or death if Gibbs had gotten his way- over it. Do they deserve proper punishment? Absolutely. But I am not the judge, jury & executioner and I thought we fucking learned that on this show). So yeah, this blatant police br*tality and the entire way it was handled on this episode fills my mouth with bile. Trying to lessen it & “make it better” because of dogs is pathetic.

Sincerely, I hope this episode was attempting to poke holes in a messed up system. They missed the mark by a damn mile, but I hope that was the point. Because if it wasn’t, this shit should’ve been trashed the moment they shuttered the doors on season 17. It never needed to come to light and rear its ugly face.

Also, if you don’t like my rage post- great, you don’t have to. I’ve loved this show for 18 years and I will continue to enjoy it, but I am allowed to be critical of shit writing and if you try and debate me on this, it won’t be pretty. I’ll keep my opinions and you can keep yours.

#18x10 #ncis #I’d say excuse the language but #i don’t give a fuck #attempting to remove words tumblr may have filtered out #who knows if this will show up in the tags again

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phantom-curve · 3 years

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happy second birthday!! for the prompt list, how about number 8 and willex? au can be totally up to you!

Thank you! This one got away from me a bit, but I thoroughly enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it!! Set in the gimme a chance AU, from before that fic starts, I give you flustered, protective Alex, hot for his boyfriend Willie, and some extra brown-haired himbos thrown in for fun.

#8: shielding the other one with their body (Rated T for language)

When Willie received the text from Alex inviting him to come watch his band practice, he thought it would be a nice, lowkey way of meeting the other boys that made up Alex’s family. They’d been dating for a few months now, ever since he had accidentally run Alex over while skateboarding down Hollywood Boulevard (not his finest moment, but hey, he got the guy in the end, right?), and he had heard plenty of stories about Luke and Reggie and the various shenanigans that they got up to on a near constant basis. Alex always tried to sound annoyed when he talked about his best friends and their ridiculous antics, but there was an undercurrent of true affection that underscored all his stories and told Willie how much he truly cared for them. He had been itching to meet them for a while now, but if there was one thing he had learned early on about Alex, it was that the drummer needed things to happen on his own timeline and not a moment sooner. Willie didn’t fully understand the need for a strict schedule and complete understanding of every situation, but if it made Alex happy, it made him happy. He was more than willing to go with whatever flow Alex directed.

What he was not expecting was to walk into a veritable war zone upon entering the studio the band rented out for practice.

Instruments were scattered about the space as if they had been dropped exactly where each boy had originally been standing, no regard for the guitar stands spaced out along the wall. One of the hi-hats on Alex’s drum set was overturned, the small stool he sat on to play shoved far away from the set, like Alex had stood in a hurry and not bothered to roll it back into place. There was a suspicious puddle near an open doorway at the back of the space. Not a single one of the Sunset Curve boys was inside. Willie entered cautiously, resetting Alex’s stool and righting the hi-hat. Loud yells sounded from outside, and slowly Willie made his way to the open door.

There was a small fenced in yard behind the studio, a few bicycles stacked and locked together along the outside wall. And, spread out across the yard, three 18-year-old boys with water guns pointed at each other, their hair and clothes absolutely soaked. The two brunettes were laughing, happy smiles stretched across their faces as they sprayed Willie’s boyfriend in a joint attack.

“You guys are such fucking children!” Alex was screeching, hands over his head in a pitiful attempt at shielding himself. “I told you Willie was coming by today; can’t you be normal for once?!”

“Awh, c’mon Lex!” The guy in a cut-off muscle tee lowered his water gun, grinning as he moved forward to shake his head like a dog, flinging water droplets in a wide arc. “It’s way too fuckin hot to play today. Live a little!”

Alex looked up as the other boy in a black tank top also lowered his weapon. Glaring, he whipped off his soggy light pink hoodie and threw it in the direction of the other two, smacking the first one right across the face with a loud, wet slap.

Willie’s mouth went dry. Alex was wearing a pale blue t-shirt, and the water from their fight had clearly soaked all the way through his hoodie. The light material clung to his chest and arms like it was painted on, the sight more beautiful than anything Willie had ever seen before. With his blonde hair flopping over his face, muscles glistening in the afternoon sun, Alex looked like an angel that had just emerged from the sea. Willie let himself appreciate the sight for a long moment before clearing his throat.

“Don’t stop on my account, Hotdog. Looks like you needed to cool off a bit.”

He grinned, loving the flustered way Alex suddenly stood fully at attention, running his hands through his wet hair and blessing Willie with a small peek at his toned stomach as his shirt rode up just a bit.

“Willie! Hi!”

The other two boys let out a chorus of oooooh Willie! in the background, but Willie couldn’t find it in him to focus on anything other than the sight of his boyfriend approaching, lips stretched into a cute little nervous smile. If he had known Alex would look this good all wet and ruffled, he would have dragged his butt to the beach long before now.

“I swear, I told them to be on their best behavior today, but it’s like talking to a brick wall sometimes.”

“Trust me, I do not mind.”

Willie let his gaze move slowly from the top of Alex’s head down and back up again, laughing softly as he watched Alex’s cheeks turn pink. Alex opened his mouth to say something, but then, almost as if he had a second sense for mischief, he was flinging himself in front of Willie, nearly slamming them both to the ground as he whipped his head around.

“No! Willie is off limits!!”

The warning was useless, cold water splashing along Alex’s back and splattering across Willie’s face and arms. The other two boys let out a howl of laughter, approaching fast and furious and unleashing a deluge of water that Alex’s body did absolutely nothing to shield Willie from. Alex sputtered and coughed against the water hitting his face until Willie finally reached up to tuck his boyfriend’s head into his neck, hiding his own face in the top of Alex’s wet hair. He shook with laughter, unable to be mad even as Alex growled into his neck, muttering curses against the other boys all the while. After another minute or two of unrelenting downpour, the water slowed to a trickle. Alex seemed to know what that meant before Willie did, unwrapping himself and turning around to face his bandmates.

“You are so dead.”

The brown-haired boys exchanged a look of panic, their water guns run dry while Alex still gripped one that Willie just now realized had a full tank. With a scream they dashed away, Alex sprinting after them and cornering them against the fence so he could hose them down without mercy. Willie hooted and hollered, egging him on, because it he thought soaking wet Alex was hot, soaking wet Alex as an avenging angel was even hotter. Willie bit his lip, enjoying the view for the short time that it took for Alex to empty out the tank on his water gun. When his ammo supply finally ran dry, he returned to Willie’s side, the other boys following close behind, all three of them laughing and shoving each other playfully. Alex slipped his hand into Willie’s, blushing again when Willie reached up to place a kiss on his cheek.

“My hero.”

Alex rolled his eyes, but the smile playing at the edge of his lips told Willie he liked the title. Willie reached a hand out to the other boys.

“Nice to meet you guys, I’m Willie.”

“Hey man, good to meet you,” the one in the cut off spoke first, bounding forward to grasp Willie’s hand. “Alex talks about you literally all the time. I’m Luke.”

Luke ducked away from Alex’s hand as he reached over to slap him, laughing manically. The other boy stepped forward, shaking Willie’s hand with unrestrained enthusiasm.

“I’m Reggie! Luke’s right, Alex does talk about you a lot. All good things though! It’s awesome to finally meet you!”

“Likewise.” Willie grinned, knocking his shoulder against Alex’s as the blonde slapped a hand over his face.

“Okay, okay, yes I talk about you a lot. Freakin sue me.”

“I think it’s cute. I talk about you a lot too, ya know,” Willie murmured, delighting in the pink that stained Alex’s cheeks yet again. Man, he would never get tired of that reaction.

“Oh yeah? Who are you gossiping about me to, pretty boy?”

Willie felt his own cheeks burn at the nickname, leaning in closer so his nose was nearly touching Alex’s.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Okay, as cute as all this lovestruck shit is, these jeans are not the most comfortable when they’re wet,” Luke’s voice broke the moment, and Willie coughed slightly to cover up his laugh as Alex let out an embarrassed squeak. “Let’s pack it up and go back to the apartment for dry clothes and then we can go get tacos!”

“Oooo tacos! Yes!! Luke, is that one guy selling over by the bar today do you think? His eloté is the best!”

Reggie was practically bouncing, bopping behind Luke as the other boy made his way into the studio and began to clean up the mess left from what Willie guessed was the beginning of their impromptu water fight. Willie slipped his hand into Alex’s letting himself be tugged along as his boyfriend unlocked the stack of bikes.

“I like your friends.”

Alex glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, smiling softly through the hair that flopped in front of his face. Willie moved it away, letting his hand linger behind the other boy’s ear for just a moment.

“They’re alright I guess.”

But the fondness in his tone told Willie they were more than alright. They were Alex’s family, and the love between them was genuine and ran deep. Willie grabbed his skateboard from the spot he had left it next to the bikes, tucking it under his arm as Reggie and Luke reappeared from the studio, guitars safely stowed in cases strapped to their backs. Reggie was still talking a mile a minute as Luke turned to lock the back door.

“-and then we should have a Star Wars marathon. Wait!”

Reggie turned to Willie with a serious expression that looked frighteningly out of place on his freckled face. Willie gulped slightly, sure this would be the point where Alex’s brothers would start their interrogation to make sure he was actually deserving of their best friend.

“Did you call Alex ‘Hotdog’ earlier?”

Willie relaxed, laughing loudly as Alex threw his hands up.

“God, you tell a guy about the worst food poisoning of your life one time and you’re stuck with a horrible nickname for the rest of forever,” Alex grumbled.

Luke and Reggie began laughing alongside Willie, who took advantage of Alex’s grumpiness to sneak another kiss on his cheek, lacing their hands together as the group began walking down the street back towards the Sunset Curve apartment, rolling their bikes alongside them.

Willie didn’t say it out loud, but he was pretty sure that was the moment he realized he was gonna love Alex for the rest of his life.

Send me prompts for my second birthday!

#mads writes #send me prompts for my birthday!#jatp #julie and the phantoms #willex #jatp ficlet #willex ficlet #willex week

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