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too-much-tma-stuff · 6 months

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Finally Getting Help (prt. 10)

Mastterpost

A/N: Thank you all for the well wishes about my dog. Unfortunately he didn't make it and pass away Tuesday morning in the vet's office. I was able to get some writing done but I don't have the energy to edit. Let me know if you find any mistakes.

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Jason: hey, thanks for the gun and the tech, it's really cool.

Danny: new phone who dis 😝

Jason: I hope you haven't given too many people guns in the last couple days.

Danny: no I haven't, thanks for texting me Jason. Have you got a chance to try the gun?

Jason: not on anything moving, I've been doing some target practice to get a feel for it though. Looking forward to when I can test it on Vlad.

Danny: aww are you going to avenge my honor 🥺

Jason: if you want me too. I'll bring you his head if you want me too.

Danny: 🥰 you're so sweet. I wouldn't say no to seeing him suffer for what he's done but don't get yourself in any trouble okay? And if you do call me right away. I'll come rescue you 😘

Jason: hey I'm the one offering to protect you!

Danny: we can protect each other. And fight each other, can you come spar again soon?

Jason: I wouldn't call that sparring, more like brawling.

Danny: eh potato potato, do you want to come fight me again?

Jason: if demon brat won't kill me for it, sure. Can I take you out for dinner afterwards? I have some questions

Danny: It's a date! Just tell me when

Jason: Day after tomorrow? I have some work to take care of first.

Danny: Sounds great! And it is a date right? You don't mind that I'm going to have kids?

Jason: the kids aren't a deal breaker I promise but let's not jump the gun okay? We're going to be family through B so we don't want this to blow up in our faces. Let's hang out, take it slow, see how it goes. You need to be careful about who you let into your life now anyway, you can't just let anyone around you and the babies.

Danny: don't tell me what to do 😠 but you're right. I'm bad about rushing into things. I'm still looking forward to it.

Danny: By the way Jazz uploaded the power point she made about Liminals and Ghosts to the bat’s server thing. You have access to that right? You should read that before we meet and I can fill in the gaps.

Jason: Sounds good, I’ll have a look at it and I’m looking forward to it too. I'll be there at 5 so we can spar before dinner. Don't forget to warn B and your guard dog.

Danny: Damian is a good kid. I'll let them know.

Danny stared at his new phone Tim had given him with apprehension. The chat with Jason had gone very well, and Danny was glad he reached out but there were other people he really needed to reach out to and he was… frankly scared. Sam and Tucker were his best friends and had always been there for him but they both had tempers. Would they be mad that he hadn’t told them he was pregnant? Would they be upset he had left Amity and wasn’t planning on coming back?

He needed to reach out though, the longer he waited the harder it would be to talk to them, and things wouldn’t stay calm as they were now. Vlad would be back to cause trouble again and even though the JLD had control of the portal but he was sure his rogues would find their way through eventually. Vlad had his own portal anyway, and Danny wouldn’t put it past him to open it just to annoy Danny. Maybe try and weaken him a little so Vlad could swoop in and pick him off.

Today was quiet, he needed to take this chance. He sighed and got up off the edge of his bed where he was sitting and ducked out of his room. He didn’t want to do this alone, so he wasn’t surprised when he found himself in the library where Jazz was studying.

He sat down across from her and reached across, laying his hand, palm up on the table. Without looking up from her book she reached over and placed her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. He smiled at her and took a deep breath before putting on his earbuds and sending a message in the group chat.

Danny: When you guys are ready can we call?

Jazz phone went off too and she checked it, smiled at Danny, and then silenced the chat and went back to her book. She didn’t need to be part of this call but at least she knew what he was doing.

Sam: Yes, let me just grab Tuck. He’s playing Doomed.

Danny took a deep breath and put down his phone while he waited for them to call and tried not to panic.

When the phone buzzed he jumped and reached for it, joining the call quickly.

“Hey guys,” He said, awkwardly, waving with the hand that wasn’t holding the phone.

“Hey yourself! What the heck happened Danny?! Basically the whole town joined in in chasing Vlad when we found out what he did but why did we have to find out on tv?! Why didn’t you tell us?!” Sam said, but at least she just seemed stressed, not actually angry.

“I’m sorry guys,” Danny said, wincing a little when he heard Tucker sniffling a little. “I hadn’t told anyone yet. I hadn’t even fully accepted it yet honestly.

“I still wasn’t ready to talk about it, bur Cass is really good at reading people's body language and I guess she clocked that I was carrying them by how I kept unconsciously touching my stomach. When she asked me about it it sorta broke through my denial and I broke down which started the ball rolling on… all this,” He said with a vague gesture.”

“All this is right!The justice league really brought the hammer down on Amity. They’re dismantling the GIW and really pissed at the government and basically all the adults in the town for letting this happen. And they arrested your parents!” Sam said sounding almost excited.

“Sam! That was really insensitive! They’re still his parents, what if he didn’t know!?” Tucker broke in furiously.

“No it’s alright I knew, Jazz told me. She’s here with me,” He said squeezing her hand though she wasn’t paying attention to the call.

“Okaaay so where is Here?” Tucker asked warily.

“Ya are you safe? We haven’t seen you since all this went down! Are you really with Bruce Wayne?” Sam asked sounding wary.

“Yes I am. He’s got a foster license and since his kids were the one that found out what was going on it just made sense that I’d stay here.”

“And he’s Not another Fruitloop?” Sam asked warily. “You need to be careful with these rich people you know? They’re basically all crazy!”

“Sam you’re rich,” Danny pointed out, amused.

“Ya, and? My point stands!”

“Fair enough,” Danny laughed. “But no, I did some snooping the first night I was here and it seems okay. And since he’s got close ties to the Justice League he was able to get the help we really needed, and he says he might be able to help me meet Martian Manhunter!”

“Don’t fanboy out too bad,” Tucker teased him.

“Oh ya? And what if I helped you meet Tim Drake? Would you not be just as bad,” Danny accused Tucker.

“Touche,” Tucker said. “Could you though?”

“I mean maybe? He’s my foster brother now and he seems cool. You two are my best friends, if I’m going to stay I’m sure you could come visit me and meet all of them.”

“Are you really going to stay there though? I mean once the GIW and everything is cleared out you could stay with either of us. I know my parents aren’t your biggest fans but I know they’d let you stay,” Sam said sounding worried.

“And I know my family doesn't have a ton of money but they adore you, we’d make it work,” Tucker added looking worried.

“No, guys I really appreciate the offer but… I don’t want to come back to Amity. The Justice League said they shut down the portal and I really need a fresh start I think. I think I’d rather stay here. Jazz too, she’s gonna study at Gotham U and intern at Arkham,” He said. She looked up at the mention of her name and gave him a small smile.

“I’m sorry, you guys are my best friends and I’ll miss you, but there are too many… memories in Amity you know?”

“Ya I get that,” Sam said, looking sad and distant.

“We can still call, and play Doomed together, and visit on breaks!” Tucker said, his chipper tone sounding a little forced. “We’re going to say friends!” He insisted and Danny smiled.

“Of course we will Tuck,” He promised. They might grow apart with the distance between them, but he hoped not, they really were his best friends.

“Ya, my parents will probably be thrilled about this development and want me to come over all the time. They love the Waynes,” Sam chuckled though her optimism also seemed a bit forced. Of course she was more of a pessimist, she probably thought they would drift apart, but knew Danny needed them right now.

“Soo what’s been going on in Amity since I left?” Danny asked, letting them ramble about the drama, the rumours, and the bullshit that was the bullies and everyone in the school sudden;y pretending they cared about Danny soooo much.

After they finished telling him about it there were a few beats of silence and Danny was just about to suggest they hang up when Sam spoke up again.

“So, what actually happened with Vlad? If you don’t want to talk about it that’s okay but…”

“No, it’s okay. It’s not what- what you’d think. It’s superhero bullshit really. When I wouldn’t be his son he decided to try and clone me, you met Dani with an I right? She was one of the clones. But he didn’t know I was trans, and my DNA got all fucked up in the portal so none of the clones were stable. I have no idea how many he tried to make that died. But when I found out it was because he had lied to Dani and told her he needed me to stabilize her clone brothers. It was a batch of ten.

“But he lied, he didn’t actually care about stabilizing them, he was going to let them all die. I was only able to save the two that were most stable and only by taking their cores into myself. So I’m not normal pregnant, I’m ghost pregnant.

What is my life huh?” He finished, chuckling awkwardly.

“Oh fuck,” Sam said her shoulders slumping a little even as her expression went through a range of emotions. “That’s better in a way but still a whole different type of fucked up! I hope they catch him soon.”

“I hope so too but I don’t think they will,” Danny said with a shrug. “Not before he tries something else. I’m not lucky enough to be able to just move past this,” He said with a bitter little laugh.

“Well, we can still hope. And even if he does cause trouble you have more allies now! You’ve been able to handle everything else he’s thrown at you basically on your own, with the Justice League behind you I know there’s nothing you can’t handle. I mean, Vlad is kind of pathetic anyway,” Tucker encouraged making Danny smile.

“Ya, you’re right, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Thanks guys,” he said fondly.

“Of course dude! We’re here for you!” Tucker said.

“It’s really good to hear from you too. Don’t be a stranger okay?” Sam said, a bit worried.

“Of course not, I’ll keep you posted I promise.” Danny assured before they said their goodbyes and he hung up.

He put down his phone and leaned back with a sigh, closing his eyes for a moment. Next to him Jazz chuckled and there was a soft snap as she closed her book.

“You did well little brother,” She told him, getting up from her seat she moved behind him and rested her hands on his shoulders.

“How do you know? You weren’t listening.”

“No, but you reached out to your friends and had an honest conversation which isn’t easy. You did well,” She reiterated, squeezing his shoulders.

“Well thanks Jazz. I hope that they’re right that we won’t lose touch, and I’ll be able to handle whatever Vlad does,” He grumbled.

“I’m sure we will,” Jazz promised. “And either way there’s no point in worrying about it now. Has Jason texted you yet?” She asked, giving Danny the excuse he needed to change the subject and launch into his more petty worries about the upcoming date as she sat back down to listen.

#danny phantom #dc x dp #dead on main #jason todd #danny fenton #jazz fenton #damian wayne #sam manson #tucker foley #trans!danny #Danny is pregnant #finally getting help au #bad parents jack and maddie #Vlad is a creep

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lowkeyremi · 7 months

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LITTLE THINGS HE DOES atsumu x fem!reader

note: my tsumu fever is coming back jeez

content: fluff, established relationship, hcs + drabbles (divider)

Boyfriend!Atsumu who feels like he's coming on too strong in the beginning of your relationship.

"Shit, 'Samu. I don't know what to do, I wanna ask her to stay the night but that might be too much, right?" Osamu, who has heard his brother complain a million times just sighs, "Just ask her ya bonehead. Ya'll never know unless ya ask." Atsumu groans, throwing a tantrum in his apartment because he's unsure of what to do.

Boyfriend!Atsumu would pretend he didn't know you in public to save himself from being teased by others. (it's what he did in his last couple of relationships)

"Hey, 'Tsumu. We still on for dinner at your brother's?" You'd ask, looking super pretty in that hoodie he bought for you. "What..? Do I er- know ya?" His friends all start laughing, which was embarrassing to say the least. When he called you to apologize you blew him off with, "Do I know you?" (Dw! he never did that again. It might've been alright with his past gfs but not with you.)

Boyfriend!Atsumu who absolutely LOVES buying you stuff. There doesn't have to be a reason, he just likes spending his money on you.

Your legs were in his lap while he unconsciously massaged your feet. You're working on a paper that's due in a few days and Atsumu out of boredom watches you type whatever you're talking about in your paper. He thinks it's cute, everything you do is cute.

"How long have you had that thing for?" It takes you a second to realize he's talking about the laptop you saved up to buy for yourself, senior year of high school.

"Hmm, I've had it since senior year of high school so maybe 3 or 4 years?" He hums in delight at your response, "Let me buy ya a new one baby, it'll be better than that old thing."

"A four year computer is fairly young and I worked hard to buy this one! Don't shame my baby." It's adorable how offended you get unintentionally. "Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee."

Two days later your friend is commenting on your new laptop during a lecture.

Boyfriend!Atsumu steals kisses ALL the time. He loves you so so so much! If you say no to kisses he'll get one anyway.

Atsumu's hands are wrapped around your waist, his front meets your back. "Atsu, I already told you when I finish cooking you can kiss me all you want. I don't want either of us to get hurt." Did I mention you're cutting up veggies?

A guttural whine leaves his throat. You can feel the vibrations of it on your back. "Atsumu."

Before you can even process what happens, Atsumu quickly pecks your cheek. It's not your lips like he wanted but it will do for now.

Boyfriend!Atsumu who loves talking about how big and strong he is (to make you swoon of course).

"Hey babe, just got back from the gym, notice anything different?" Nothing particularly looks different about him, but you risk him pouting if you say the wrong thing.

"I don't know, Tsum Tsum. Tell me." His frown is almost immediate. He looks like a kicked puppy and honestly you don't feel too bad. He's likely exaggerating as per usual.

"I worked on my legs today for ya. Know you love my thighs." His thighs look the exact same as they had when he left for the gym but you don't tell him that because he'd get whiny.

"Look at you, gosh you're built." Hopefully it doesn't sound too fake and he buys it.

"Ya think so?" He says with a chuckle. Checkmate.

Boyfriend!Atsumu who steals your t-shirts and underwear because "ya steal my stuff why can't i steal yers?" and "it's for me to smell when i miss ya."

"Atsumu.. where is my favorite t-shirt!?" Your favorite (singer/band) is doing a meet and greet today and you wanted to show your love by wearing their merch, which you can't seem to find.

"I dunno baby, s'probably at my place. S'the one ya wear all the time so it smells like ya the most." He shrugs as if this were not that big of a deal.

"Tsumu! Go get it!!! I'm going to that meet and greet I was telling you about today!"

Husband!Atsumu who LOVES to tell people how you two got married.

"Yeah, and I got down on one knee for her and she was like 'Tsumu is this a prank?' she was leanin' back too far into the fountain she was sittin' on and fell in!" Bokuto absolutely looses his shit. He doubled over laughing, alongside Hinata.

"It's not that funny." You grumble, sitting next to Atsumu's best friend teammate, Sakusa.

"He tells that story to those two anytime he gets the chance too. I'm surprised they still find it funny after the 1 millionth time hearing it." Sakusa agrees, his arms folded up and his eyebrows furrowed. You're sure he's scowling under the mask.

"Yeah, welp. That's my husband I suppose."

"He sure is." Sakusa implies the way Atsumu is always talking about you.

"Well my wife.."

"Let me see if my wife wants to come."

"I'm heading home! Gotta go see my wife!"

"Now if it were me and my wife.."

(WE GET IT YOU LOVE HER!!!!!)

note: just a little something to feed y'all until i finish my gojo project. love you guys XOXO (XO until we OD)

#atsumu #atsumu miya #atsumu x reader #atsumu x female reader #atsumu miya x reader #miya atsumu #msby atsumu #miya atsumu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu drabble #haikyuu drabbles #atsumu drabble

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ellieluvr420 · 8 months

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Friends? Never. Pt.1 (Ellie Williams x reader)

SYNOPSIS: You and Ellie had been bitter enemies for years now but before that you were best friends. You had always planned to be roommates one day but when that becomes a reality the situation isn't exactly how you both imagined it.

New fic alert? Can you tell I've got a thing for the enemies to lovers trope? Sorryyyyyy. I have loads of ideas for so many stories but this one made me too excited :D I can’t tell if the writing in this is ass but i’m just setting things up hold out hope for me people…

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Ellie opens the door of her new home only to see you, her least favourite person in Jackson, standing at her door with your suitcase in hand.

"No no no no no no no." You say as you immediately start walking away from her. You keep walking until you see Maria walking towards you.

"Don't even start-" She already knows what you're going to say.

"I am not fucking living with her Maria."

"Didn't I tell you not to start? You're wasting your breath anyway, this is the only way we can accommodate all the new arrivals."

"Why do you hate me?" You groan and she spins you around immediately marching you back to your new home.

"I don't, but you and Ellie are a pain in my ass, maybe make the most of it and try and get along hm?" She keeps you held firmly at the front door as she knocks three times.

"Back for more alrea-" Ellie pauses as she sees Maria standing there with a stern look on her face, she pushes you through the door and smiles.

"Enjoy setting up!" She calls over her shoulder and you're sure you hear her laugh.

"Fuck my life." You push past Ellie, bumping her hard enough that she stumbles slightly. You storm off upstairs to find your room huffing at your new reality.

You're unpacking all your belongings when you notice her standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe. "Are you just gonna keep staring at me like a creep?"

"Are you gay?"

"Pardon?" You scoff at her bluntness but your heart was beating a mile a minute, you knew it wasn't a big deal, she's a lesbian herself, but for some reason you still found coming out to people so difficult. Your parents hadn't taken it well which is how you found yourself living on your own... well, with Ellie. You breathe in and regain your composure, turning to her and flashing a coy smirk. "Why do you want to know Williams? Got a little crush on me?"

"Ha! You wish. Just wondered seeing as you're nineteen and have never once even held a guys hand."

"Didn't realise you paid so much attention to me, should I be worried I have a stalker?" She rolls her eyes at you obviously avoiding her question. "Why does it matter?"

"It doesn't, just trying to figure out if I should be worried about you getting a crush on me and going all crazy."

You walk over to her until there's only inches between you. "You're so arrogant." You bump her in the shoulder and she stumbles as you walk past her towards the kitchen. "You're also not my type... at all." You call over her shoulder missing the look of bewilderment on her face.

"Wait... so you are?" Ellie calls as she follows you to the kitchen. She's close behind you as you march away until you stop dead in your tracks causing her to bump into you.

"If you must know Ellie, yes I am."

"Oh." Ellie felt her heart clench a little for you as she knows how unaccepting your parents are, that's why you stopped being friends all those years ago after all.

You had met Ellie on the first day she arrived in Jackson, she looked tired and a little gaunt but you still felt butterflies in your stomach when you laid eyes on her for the first time. You remember seeing her walk in and hand a gun she kept in the back of her jeans to Maria, you were gobsmacked because she looked the same age as you and you couldn't imagine holding, let alone using, a gun. You had been born in Jackson, only ever leaving to go on patrol in the last couple years so 14 year old you found the girl all the more intriguing. You had watched her from a distance as Joel spoke to your dad, you still remember the feeling of your stomach dropping when she looked up to see you spying on her. You hadn't spoken to her until later that evening when Joel and her had come to yours for dinner. It was awkward at first but when she saw your record player and limited vinyl collection, the ice thawed quickly, you became inseparable until your parents started taking an issue with your friendship with her, you never understood why they stopped you seeing her and stopped seeing Joel until two years ago when you told them you were a lesbian. Ellie had always known that they were homophobic but it still hurt when they stopped you seeing her, she saw red any time she was near you because she was so hurt that you could cut her out of your life just like that and within a couple months you were bitter rivals that couldn't share a nice word with the other. Her hatred for you was so overwhelming that it forced her to stop being so awkward around people because she was so focused on throwing as many insults your way as possible that her nerves when speaking to others dissipated.

Now, as you stand in the kitchen staring at her leaning on the doorframe you felt a pang of guilt for how you had treated her although it quickly disappeared the second she opened her beautiful mouth.

"Well er... you're not my type either so don't get any ideas." You laugh at the awkwardness of her statement knowing why she suddenly lost confidence in herself.

"Thanks for the clarification." You roll your eyes before busying yourself getting a glass of water, it was the middle of summer so all the moving and unpacking was making you feel severely dehydrated. Ellie watched as you gulped down the water, noting how a couple drops fall down onto your white tank top. She dragged her eyes away from you and cleared her throat.

"Well now we've established the feelings mutual we can go back to never speaking again. Or are you going to bother me constantly with small talk?"

"Oh believe me you have nothing to worry about on my end." You refill the glass again and walk over to her. "And if I'm remembering correctly you're the one that came and spoke to me, so I could ask you the same thing, no?" You jab a finger into her chest as you speak emphasising your point. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to go wash this finger of your germs and finish unpacking." You push past her once again and she scoffs as you walk away back upstairs without looking back at her.

You continue unpacking methodically until everything is put away neatly and your decorations are in their new designated homes. As you collapse onto the bed picking up the book you were reading at the moment from your bedside table you breathe a sigh of relief at the breeze making its way through your open window. Your shared cabin was right on the outskirts of Jackson so your view was the beautiful woods that lined the north west section of the wall, as you looked at the greenery that was reflecting glittering spots of sunlight you reminisced on the times you and Ellie had spent in the woods when you were friends. You're interrupted from your thoughts by the growling of your stomach that prompts you to sneak back to the kitchen.

"Fuck's sake." You mutter under your breath as you walk into the kitchen only to be greeted by Ellie leaning on the counter savaging a bowl of cereal.

"You know you're spilling more of that down your shirt than you're getting in your mouth right?" Ellie looks down at her t-shirt only to see that you were correct when you said she was spilling milk down herself, she huffs and continues eating, this time being more careful as she brings the bowl right to her mouth.

"I thought I made it clear I didn't want to talk to you and yet... here you are talking to me." She mumbles through a mouthful of cereal. You roll your eyes and open the fridge only to see the leftovers you had put in there earlier were gone. You take a deep breath before spinning to give Ellie the dirtiest of looks.

"Are you fucking kidding me? That's the only food I had until I go out tomorrow. Why would you eat it?"

"Oh was that yours? My bad I got hungry earlier, it was really good though you gotta make me some more of that sometime." She smiles sweetly and your face twists into a scowl as you feel the rage boiling inside of you.

"Only we live here Ellie, if you're going to steal my food you could at least own it." You walk away and just before you leave the kitchen empty handed you turn back slightly. "Pussy." You go to walk away until you feel a hand enclose around your arm yanking you backwards. She pushes you up against the wall and leans her body weight on you so you can't move, relishing in your struggle.

"Say that again bitch, I dare you." Her eyes are dark and cold only mirroring yours, a devilish grin appears on your face as you lean in closer to her.

"You're a pussy Williams... and you don't scare me." You push her off with all your strength and rush away from her before slamming your door so hard you're shocked it doesn't come off the hinges. You pace around your room muttering and cursing Ellie before you stop, realising you actually have to live with her for the foreseeable future, every time you looked at her all you could think of is the screaming matches you endured with your parents when they banned you from seeing her and the look of defeat on her face as you ignored her for the first time when she came over to you while you were out with your parents, the nausea you were feeling only grew as the memory of when you came out to your parents flashes through your mind as it does multiple times throughout the day. You grab your book and begin reading once again trying to rid yourself of all these memories that Ellie was bringing up. As you finally feel the nausea calming there are three forceful knocks on your door that you ignore reflexively.

"You gonna open the door or what?" Ellie's voice is muffled but clear enough to make out what she's saying.

"No. Fuck off Ellie!" Ellie rolls her eyes before knocking harder this time and she doesn't stop, she continuously bangs on your door until you throw your book down in frustration to storm over to the source of your irritation. As you yank the door open you're greeted by a smirking Ellie. "WHAT? What could you possibly want? You eat my food, you piss me off, you pin me against a fucking wall, what do you want now Ellie?"

Ellie is taken aback by your harsh tone, typically it had a hint of playfulness to it but now you just sounded angry. She gulped before regaining her standoffish demeanour. "Calm down sweetie."

You scoff and go to slam the door in her face but her hand stops you and pushes the door back so hard you stumble backwards with it, you huff and walk away dropping down onto your bed once again.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure whatever. You're gonna do what you want anyway." She stuffs her hands into her front pockets and walks in as she looks at all the decorations in your room before plopping down on your bed sitting directly on your feet. You snatch them away with a huff as you grit your teeth and curl up to put as much distance between you two.

"What... do you want Williams?"

"Nothing really. Just wanted to see your room. It's very... you."

"Mm and I'm sure yours looks like a squatters pit." You smile smugly at her as she rolls her eyes, your face drops as she turns and eyes the book on your bedside table with a smirk.

"You read romance?" She stifles a laugh poorly.

"Yes and what? Can you even read?" She chuckles and you mumble under your breath "idiot"

"Wow you really are a virgin aren't you?" You eyes flash up at her as your eyebrows knit together and your face turns to a grimace.

"Why do you assume I'm a virgin because I read romance? Maybe I just enjoy it."

"Ha! Right. I'm assuming you're a virgin because only virgins read romance books." You kick at her and she grabs your sock-covered foot stopping you in your tracks.

"Oh my god Ellie can you go away!"

"No no, not just yet. My curiosity is piqued about this book now." Before you can stop her she's reaching for the book and standing up while flicking through some pages.

"Wait, No Ellie don't." She holds it above your head as you stand, you try and snatch it from her once but it's too far out of your reach, panic takes over as she opens it above her head and begins reading aloud. "Ellie fucking stop!"

"Why? It's just a romance book right? Nothing too... inappropriate." Your cheeks heat and the familiar rage comes back in full force, you look down at her feet and stomp on the left one as hard as you can, she yelps and drops her arms which allows you to grab the book from her grasp and you immediately rush out of your room and into the bathroom, locking the door behind you with a triumphant smile.

"Ow you bitch!" You hear Ellie call after you. As you eye the bathtub you decide now is the perfect time to relax in the tub so you can escape Ellie for awhile and read your book in peace.

You stay in the bath until the sun has completely set and the room is bathed in a silvery glow from the moonlight, you guess you were in there for at least an hour but as you start to shiver from the cooling water you decide to finally leave your refuge. As you climb out of the bath you're horrified when you realise your towel is still in your room.

"Fuck fuck fuck." You had to walk past Ellie's room to get to yours but ultimately you decide you'd have to risk it, you unlock the door and peak out into the hallway to see its empty, you edge the door open and begin quickly creeping to your room, you're almost there but as you go to walk past Ellie's room she walks out at the exact same time walking straight into your naked form.

"AGH OH MY GOD!" Your hands immediately attempt to cover your dignity but its an almost failed attempt as you notice her looking you up and down. "DON'T FUCKING LOOK!" You scream as you run past her to your room so quickly your feet slip a little. You hear her cackling in the hallway as you lean with your back against the door in utter disbelief. "No no noooo that did not just happen." You mumble to yourself as you run a hand over your face.

You try to put the embarrassment past you as you settle into bed before passing out from the sheer exhaustion of the day.

#ellie x reader #tlou ellie #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie x fem reader #ellie x you #ellie

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

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WIBTA if I told my mom that my dad might be a murderer?

So I (14F) have an odd set of parents, to put it kindly. For the past year and a half or so, my father (58M) has been leaving, using drugs and being very angry when he comes back. (He doesn't usually yell at/do anything to me, so don't be concerned for my safety. I have people to go to.) He's been yelling at my mother (54F) about this man, I'll call him "D" (I don't know his age, I've never heard of or met him prior to this) and how she cheated on my father with him 12 years etc. And then he was yelling about how D was dead and she probably went to the funeral and.. whatever other nonsense.

My mother told me what happened the night he's accusing her of cheating. They were at the bar [my parents used to own a bar] and my mother didn't want my father to get drunk. He's a violent drunk. So, she asked D to stay with her, thinking that he wouldn't be like that in front of a guy that he respected. She was wrong. He kicked her out, and got in a fight with D. She left with her father, got a call from the hospital about my father having like a 4.0 bac and that was that.

I was telling my brother (35M) about this and he was really surprised. He knew D, and that he was a nice guy, and he knew how he died.

Brain trauma from being beaten up ≈ 12 years ago.

It didn't sound like D got in a lot of fights - my brother certainly was surprised when he heard the cause of death - so it was probably my dad. It makes sense why he's made such a big deal out of it, and was especially bad the day he (D) died.

My mother told me not to tell my brother anything that goes on in our house. I don't want them to have even more tension than they do, especially right now because she's sick (ckd, end stage, if that matters. she's got a couple years) and also - I don't think it would do anything. She already keeps evidence "just in case he kills her" so I don't think telling her would help. I also kind of want to tell her. I don't know. Would it be an asshole move?

(Obviously I know I don't have hard evidence against my dad, so I wouldn't state it as fact, just my theory.) anyway, 🙃 to find later.

#aita #am i the asshole

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ckret2 · 6 months

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Chapter 44 of human Bill Cipher wishing he was trapped in the Mystery Shack again:

The Eclipse: Part 2

Gravity is disappearing, and to find out why, Ford's inspecting the sites where the fabric of spacetime might have been damaged by Weirdmageddon. Dipper's glad to come along.

Bill really, really, really isn't.

"I am genuinely offering you helpful advice, that also happens to be self-serving because you idiots wouldn't trust me if I claimed I was being charitable anyway," Bill went on, as he'd been going on for the past five minutes. "This isn't a trick! I'm not running a con! I'm completely serious: being outside during an eclipse is the stupidest thing you could do. You don't want to watch it, I want to watch it even less, staying inside is mutually beneficial!"

"Do you think I should have brought my camera?" Dipper asked, determinedly ignoring Bill as he trailed behind them.

"What for?" Ford asked, also ignoring Bill.

"I've been trying to expand my Guide to the Unexplained series this summer—I've been doing longer episodes, a couple of them are ten minutes—but I wasn't sure if we'd see anything cool and my backpack was already heavy..."

"Hmm. I suspect either there won't be anything worth seeing—or, if there is, we'll be far too busy dealing with it to record footage."

"Yeah," Dipper sighed, "I guess you're right."

"This is why my journals have more illustrations than photographs."

Bill let out a loud groan of frustration before jogging to catch up with the humans. He checked the trail ahead to make sure he wasn't about to trip, then turned to walk sideways, facing Dipper and Ford as they walked. "Okay, fine, you win. So, just to be clear—the only reason you two are dragging me out here is to check a few locations for these imaginary 'micro-rips' you think are shredding the fabric of reality apart. Right? As soon as we've checked the three places you want, it's over, you admit you were wrong, and we go back to the shack?"

"Yes, Cipher," Ford sighed. "Once we've checked those locations, if we can't find evidence that any of the areas of most concern are near the one hundred thousand micro-rip danger threshold, we'll go home. Since dimensional rips could pop up anywhere around Gravity Falls, there's a possibility there could be clusters over the danger threshold away from the three areas of concern, but with no way to guess where they might be—"

"Fine. Then let's get this over with," Bill said. "Totality is in two days, if we're back home by tomorrow night we'll still avoid it. But if you try to drag me outside again after we get back, I'm hitting everyone with the Amnesia Limina curse and nobody's going outside."

With that threat delivered, Bill cartwheeled ahead of the humans, landed on his feet, and bounded ahead in long moonwalking lopes.

"Any idea why gravity's going down faster for him than the rest of town?" Dipper asked.

"Only that, if there are rips opening between us and the Nightmare Realm, perhaps they're giving Bill back some of his powers," Ford said. "Perhaps his powers are stored in the Nightmare Realm. Although I don't know how that would work." It was a better explanation than Bill's claim that he could just float better than humans, anyway.

The bracelet around Dipper's wrist momentarily tightened as Bill reached the far end of his invisible tether, then loosened as Dipper continue forward; and then tightened a second time, and a third time. From up the trail, Bill shouted, "Would you hurry up!"

"You slow down! Some of us still have to walk!"

But even so, the slowly decreasing gravity was making the hike noticeably easier. Their backpacks sat lighter on their shoulders, and each stride seemed to carry them a little higher and farther than they expected. They startled a deer, and then the deer startled itself with how high it jumped.

"On second thought, it might not be a good idea to take him back to the shack while this is going on," Ford said. "Even if there aren't enough micro-rips in the basement, I'm not wholly convinced it won't end up the epicenter of whatever's about to happen. And if Bill wants so badly to be so close to it..."

From further up the trail, Bill shouted, "If you were any more paranoid, you'd be asking your own shadow why it's following you!"

"If you had access to any more of your powers, you'd be possessing my shadow!"

"Ha!" Bill had stopped to perch on a fallen tree that on any other day would have been far too slender to hold an adult's weight, balanced on it like a tightrope, and waited there for the others to catch up. "Fine, we don't need to go back to the shack, whatever makes you happy! As long as we get inside. Stanley's camper, a motel room, the old Corduroy cabin—hey, the Northwest place is pretty empty these days, isn't it? Is Specs renting out rooms, or...?"

"I am not taking you to Northwest Manor," Ford said. "Fiddleford's had enough trouble without letting you into his life again." Although that was only one of several reasons Ford wanted to keep them apart. For Fiddleford's safety, they couldn't risk Bill finding out that Fiddleford had been told his identity; and, now that Bill had confessed he could see through walls, they couldn't give him a chance to peer through the manor's walls and discover the ongoing paradox fuel synthesis project.

Bill laughed in disbelief. "Oh now you're concerned about somebody else's wellbeing, when it's his—fine! Fine, fine, fine! That's just fine! That's great! Terrific!" He hopped off his perch. "No evidence of self-preservation and let's not even think about respecting the triangle's wishes, but when the hillbilly might be in imaginary danger—!"

"That 'hillbilly' is one of the most brilliant men alive and the best friend I've ever known—"

"Ha!" Angrily, Bill yelled, "Some best friend, he erased you straight out of his head! You don't even know what a best friend is!"

Ford winced—he knew he'd never been much of a friend back to Fiddleford—but while he was gearing himself up to defend himself against whatever accusation Bill lobbed next, Bill turned away from the humans and stormed up the trail, leaving them behind as the weaving path took him behind several trees.

Every couple of steps, Dipper's bracelet twitched against his wrist as Bill tried to get even further ahead and was thwarted. He chuckled. "Do you think you touched a nerve?"

The corner of Ford's mouth quirked up; but he shook his head. "He's just mad he's not getting his way. As usual."

####

"I take it this is our first destination," Bill said, hands planted on his hips, looking around the forest. "This looks like the area where Shooting Star gave me the rift."

Dipper said, "You mean the place where you tricked—"

Bill shoved Dipper's hat down over his eyes. "Anyway, that aside, all the glued-shut wormholes and this are a bigger hint." He tapped the tip of one dress shoe—dusty after a walk in the woods—at the start of a long crevasse in the ground weaving through the trees.

"Yes," Ford said distractedly, taking his micro-rip scanner out of his backpack and turning it on. "This is the place." He took an initial reading, frowned, and followed the crevasse deeper into the woods.

Bill trailed along after him, gesturing at the jagged lines of bending light hanging in the air. "You did a terrible repair job, by the way. Stretching the edges of the rips to meet like that puts more stress on the reality in between the rips. You should have sutured them and let them heal naturally," Bill said. "If there are a bunch of tiny rips in the area, your own shoddy work probably caused them."

"Mm-hm," Ford said, fully focused on the scanner.

Bill's shoulders slumped. He hopped to the other side of the crack in the earth from Ford and strode ahead purposefully, ignoring him.

He glanced at a wooden sign staked next to the crack, nearly passed it, and did a double take. The sign read "MABEL'S FAULT". Bill laughed in surprise. "Who did this?"

"What—?" Dipper caught up and saw the sign. "Oh."

####

2012

Mabel's smile faded as she entered the clearing. "Oh. I... think this is the place where—Bill tricked me in Blarblar's body."

"Guess that explains all the rips in this area," Dipper said. He patted Mabel's back.

She looked down—and spotted the new crack in the ground. She gasped, immediately latching on to the distraction. "Hey, what's that! That wasn't here before!" She knelt next to the crack and peered inside. "Whoa!"

"Huh. Maybe it opened up when the rift broke?"

"How deep do you think it goes?" Mabel hopped back up, straddled the gap, and yelled down into it, "Hello!"

"Careful," Dipper said. "What if it's unstable?"

"We should give it a name," Mabel said. "It's a new geographic feature! We can put it on maps and be famous! What'll we call it?"

"Huh." Dipper stroked his chin. "Well... it looks kind of like a miniature fault line... and you were here when it formed, so I guess that kinda means you discovered it... so maybe... 'Mabel's Fault'...?"

Mabel stared at him.

Dipper's eyes widened in horror. "Oh. Ohh no."

Mabel bit her lip.

"I didn't mean it that way! I swear I didn't mean it that way—"

"Dipper!" Mabel cracked up. "We're calling it that."

"No," Dipper said, mortified. "Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. Please please don't—"

"Grunkle Staaan, Grunkle Fooord!" Mabel took off toward where they'd last seen their grunkles. "Did you hear what Dipper said—!"

"I'm sorryyy!"

####

2013

Dipper cringed. "Look, I didn't hear it until I said it out loud, okay—"

Bill burst out in shrill cackles.

"I didn't mean it!"

"Y-you're the worst brother ever!"

Dipper groaned, contemplated climbing down into the fault, and instead settled for pulling his hat down over his face again.

Ford passed by with the scanner, shot Bill a suspicious sideways look, and demanded, "What's so funny?"

Still laughing, Bill gestured at the "MABEL'S FAULT" sign.

"Oh." Ford glanced at Dipper, fought not to smile at the poor kid's embarrassment—he'd gotten enough teasing last summer—and said, "Right." He moved on.

"Hey," Bill called, "What's the score?"

Ford paused, but didn't reply.

"Well?" Bill pressed. "You're already past where the rift broke! Don't you figure that's where the most rips would be?"

Ford said, "The scanner's detecting about fourteen thousand."

Bill whistled. He meandered back to Ford's side of the fault. "Sounds like a lot. I'm telling you, the wormholes in this place should've been sutured, that's what your problem is."

"It is a lot," Ford said brusquely. He hesitated. "But."

"But?" Bill prompted.

"But... it's less than a fifth of what we'd expect to see if the fabric of reality were falling apart."

"Wow. Let me pretend to be surprised." Bill made zero effort to look surprised. "That's because the fabric of reality isn't falling apart. You idiot."

Ford glared at his scanner silently.

"You fool," Bill tried. "You buffoon."

Ford rounded furiously on him. "The more you say it's nothing, the more you just convince me that you're lying!"

"Which is stupid! If you always assume I'm lying, how do you know I'm not saying 'it's nothing' to trick you into thinking it's something when it isn't!"

"I don't know! There's no way to know with you! That's why I'm checking with a scanner!" Ford pointed aggressively at the scanner. "Because I'm a scientist!"

"You're a pretty pathetic scientist if you refuse to listen when the expert on a topic tells you what's—"

"—maybe if the self-proclaimed 'expert' weren't a mythomaniac—"

"Guys," Dipper said tiredly. "You've had this argument three times. Can we move on?"

Ford closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. "Right."

"No," Bill said. "Not until I win it."

"Can it, Bill." Ford glanced toward the sky to orient himself, looked around for the path through the trees, and started walking. "Come on. Next site—the place where the rift closed."

Bill clenched his jaw. Under his breath, he muttered, "As if I've ever done anything in my life to make me look untrustworthy..." He glanced up as well—and his gaze lingered on the sky much longer than Ford's.

####

"So I was thinking about what we could do after this," Dipper said, looking hopefully up at Ford.

It took a moment for Ford to drag himself out of his thoughts and look at Dipper. "Yes? You mean after..."

"After the ecl—" Dipper winced, "the... rips get sealed, or whatever's going on." He'd pulled out his journal and was holding it hopefully. "Maybe... I could show you the research I've been doing on the Fremont Nightwigglers? I think they've been stealing pants in town."

He gave Dipper a little more attention. "Is this one of their migration years?"

"Yeah, I think so! One was caught on a security camera—or at least what looks like one. Here." Dipper flipped open to the two-page spread he was currently working on and held it up for Ford to inspect.

He studied the pictures, smiling slightly. "Would you look at that. Very impressive research. I only experienced one migration during my time in Gravity Falls, and they'd all but moved on by the time I caught wind of it. Never even saw one—I had to interview the townspeople to get a description of them."

"Really? I don't remember seeing them in your journals."

"Ah, they never made it in. I was focused on compiling magical spells and artifacts for Journal 2 at the time. I took some notes with the thought of putting them in Journal 1, but never felt like I'd collected enough information to write about them—especially when I hadn't witnessed one myself," Ford said. "You've already collected more here than I ever did. I wasn't even sure they were real!"

Dipper's face lit up. "Really? It's not that much—I still haven't found one yet either, it's mostly interviews about the crime spree."

"It's more real investigative work than I did on them. I only got as far as asking a couple of people at the diner to describe the local stories. You've got the dates and times they've been hitting the stores."

"I guess so." Dipper beamed proudly. "I haven't heard any 'local stories' about them, though. I only recognized them from a documentary I saw on Californian cryptids."

"That might be the Blind Eye's handiwork. Everyone recognized the name when I lived here. I'll see if I can dig up the notes I took, you might find the information valuable," Ford said. "I'm not sure where I left them, but they're probably still somewhere in my study."

"Scrapbook in your study on the top right corner of your desk," Bill said. "Under the box of glue bottles. You're welcome."

Ford threw him an irritated look. Bill had gotten ahead of them while Ford was looking at Dipper's journal, and now he was crouched beside a creek, scooping up handfuls of water, momentarily inspecting them, and letting them spill back out. The eye on the hood stared balefully up at Ford from Bill's back.

Ford asked, "What in the world are you doing."

"Communing with the dread harbingers of the coming eclipse," Bill said flatly. "You can't see them of course, they're invisible to you."

"Of course." Ford muttered, "I don't know why I bother to ask."

Under his breath, Bill mumbled, "Don't know why he bothered to ask."

Ford studied the creek and checked his map. They were hiking east toward the lake, with the town to their south and the cliff to the north; the creek ran north to south in front of them. On the other side of the creek, southeast of them, was a thicker, overgrown part of the woods, the shadows between the trees darker and quieter. "This seems like a safe place to wait," Ford said. "Dipper, you stay here while I scan the next site. Keep him out of trouble."

Dipper nodded. Bill cast Ford a sullen look, then rolled his eye and looked back at the water.

"After I've checked the next spot, we'll follow the cliffside to the lake," Ford said, pointing northeast, away from the dark area of the forest. "If there's still daylight, we can take a boat behind Trembley Falls and set up camp inside the cave."

"Sounds good." Dipper looked at Bill's tiny borrowed backpack. "You... didn't bring a tent, did you."

"Sorry, do you think I have a tent to bring?" Bill asked. "Do you expect me to slide an entire tipi out of my—"

Ford interrupted, "Dipper, you brought a tent, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Then that's sufficient. You can share my tent and we'll set up Bill's as far from ours as possible. We'll be safer that way."

Bill ignored the implicit accusation with silent dignity.

Dipper nodded. "Good idea."

"Now, let's see..." Ford studied the creek. It was much wider than he could usually jump, but under the current gravity conditions... He bounced on the balls of his feet a couple of times, testing how light he currently felt; then took a few steps back, got a running start, and with a "hup!" leaped across the creek. He cleared it by several feet and almost ran into a tree.

Dipper gasped. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, Dipper! Just... don't know my own strength." How low was gravity now, he wondered? He could see grass swaying beneath the surface of the creek. It hadn't rained lately; without as much gravity, even water was being pulled down less, letting it rise higher and flood the creek's banks. He hoped they figured out how to reverse this before the lake flooded. When they made it into the cave, they'd have to camp on high ground. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Dipper side-eyed Bill; but when he kept gazing into the water without a word, Dipper said suspiciously, "What, no complaints about camping?"

"What's there to complain about?" Bill asked.

"I don't know, you've complained about everything else so far."

"This is the only part of your expedition that isn't a terrible idea," Bill said. "I love camping! Hypothetically. The Nightmare Realm isn't known for picturesque campgrounds. But hey, I like being surrounded by trees. And a private tent? Deluxe accommodations! It's just too bad you'll be dragging the mood down."

"Hey."

Bill laughed. "You're too easy."

Dipper scowled. "You don't seem like the type to be into camping."

"Why not?"

Dipper thought about it. "Man, I dunno, you just—seem like a city person? You're always talking about how much you want to throw wild parties, that's basically the opposite of camping in the woods."

"Is it?" Bill asked. "Welcome to the cult of Dionysus."

Given what Dipper could remember about Dionysus from the book of Greek mythology he'd read in sixth grade, he supposed wild parties and hanging out in the woods weren't mutually exclusive. So what was it about Bill that made Dipper feel so strongly that he wouldn't be caught dead roughing it?

Finally, Dipper said, "I guess it's the top hat and bow tie."

"They're not a top hat and bow tie."

He gave Bill a perplexed look. "Really? What are they?"

"Did you ever read that horror story about the bride with a velvet ribbon tied in a bow around her neck, and when her new husband unties it, her head falls off her neck and bounces down the stairs—?"

Dipper shuddered. "I'm sorry I asked."

Bill laughed.

After a brief silence, he finally dragged his eyes away from the water and impressively flicked a couple of mosquitoes out of the air with a finger. (Dipper wished he could do that. His arms were coated in soothsquito bite messages. He wondered what "BURN TACK" was supposed to mean.) Bill took off his backpack, rummaged around in it, and muttered, "I should've brought a book." He looked around the bank of the creek for a patch of sunlight, pushed his sleeves and leggings up to expose as much skin as possible, and flopped down in the light, eyes shut and hands laced on his chest over the backpack.

Dipper supposed that meant he was being ignored. He took his journal back out and flipped to the section on the Nightwigglers. He'd need some empty space to add Ford's local folklore once they got home. Was there any open space in the next few pages?

"It really shouldn't be called 'Mabel's Fault,'" Bill said out of the blue. "It's not her fault. It should be called 'Bill's Fault.' I'm the one who made it, aren't I?"

Dipper lowered his journal. "Sorry, are you actually accepting blame for something? You're admitting you did something wrong?"

Bill didn't even open his eyes. "I'm not 'accepting blame,' I'm claiming credit. Weirdmageddon was great. Can't help that you're all too boring to see that."

"But you said 'Bill's Fault.' Not 'Bill's Triumph' or something."

"Sure, because we're talking about a geological fault. Don't read too deep into it, kid."

"Pff, no, you definitely said it was your fault. I can't believe Grunkle Ford missed that—"

Bill abruptly sat up. "Hey. What's the 'next site.'"

"What?"

Bill counted off on his fingers, "Six-Fingers said there are four sites you want to hit, right? The place where the rift formed, the place Weirdmageddon started, the place the rift was during Weirdmageddon, and the place Weirdmageddon ended. The rift formed at the portal—been there—Weirdmageddon started at the fault—been there—during Weirdmageddon it was in the sky—going there tomorrow—so where did Weirdmageddon end? Wasn't it in the sky too?"

"Oh," Dipper said. "It's just. Y'know. It's just a... place."

Bill gave him a sharp look.

Dipper swallowed hard. "No big deal. Just... trees and stuff."

Bill flipped up his eye patch, staring in the direction Ford had disappeared. Dipper could see the white of his eye turning red.

"Hey!" Dipper got in front of Bill, trying to block the view of the forest. "It's nothing important. You—you wouldn't even be interested. Really."

Bill just stared straight through Dipper. And then, before Dipper could react, Bill was on his feet and bolting past him. By the time Dipper turned around Bill was already across the creek, following the path Ford had taken.

"No no no, come back!" Dipper jumped the creek and sprinted after Bill, shouting, "Don't go that way, you can't go that way, Bill—"

There was a dark, quiet knot of overgrown plant life deep in the forest, as if no animals had dared visit the area for nearly a year, leaving it to choke itself on its own greenery. Bill was headed straight for the heart of it. He moved through the trees like a swimmer through underwater ruins, kicking off trunks to propel himself forward, grabbing branches to help twist his body around and between them without slowing down—more flying than running, gravity hardly seeming to touch him at all.

He barreled past Ford and his scanner without even acknowledging him. Ford gasped, "Wait—" He turned the direction Bill had come from.

Dipper was squeezing between two trees and tripped over a hidden root. "Grunkle Ford—!"

"Dipper! You still have the bracelet!" Ford pointed, "Run the other direction!"

"Right!" He turned around and squeezed back between the dense trees.

And Ford took off after Bill.

Wild brambles tore at Bill's skin and ripped at his hoodie; he ignored the pain, letting the prickles bite into him as he forced his way through the shrubs—

And then he stood in the clearing, gasping in unsteady breaths, his wide unblinking eyes staring.

In front of him, wide unblinking eye staring vacantly into the trees, was his corpse.

"Bill!" Ford fought against the brambles, trying to figure out how Bill had gotten through. "Don't touch it! We don't know what could happen—"

Bill lunged for the statue.

The bracelet snapped tight around his wrist. Bill's fingers were inches away from his corpse's outstretched hand.

Thirty feet away, Dipper's bracelet went tight while he was trying to scramble over an ancient log. He awkwardly tried to keep his balance on the log; rather than risk toppling back in Bill's direction, he flung his weight the other way, keeping the invisible thread between them taut by leaning so far over that if it weren't for the bracelet holding him up he'd fall to the forest floor.

Bill fell to his knees, clawing at the dirt and grass with his free hand and feet, desperate to drag himself closer in spite of the completely immovable bracelet.

It seemed impossible to Ford that the thin invisible thread wrenching Bill's arm back would hold him for long; Bill would sooner dislocate his own shoulder to gain those last few inches. Ford fell out of the brambles and seized one of Bill's legs. "Bill—"

Bill tried to kick Ford in the face. "You KNEW!" he shrieked. "You knew I was here this WHOLE TIME and you NEVER TOLD ME, you ANIMALS! I could have had my body back! I COULD BE HOME!"

That was exactly what Ford was afraid of. Gritting his teeth, Ford wrapped an arm around Bill's torso and the other around his neck, struggling to get enough purchase on the torn-up ground to move Bill.

Wheezing for breath, Bill tried to kick out one of Ford's knees. Ford took advantage of the split second one of Bill's feet wasn't dug in to drag him back; he only managed to move him a few inches.

But a few inches of slack on the invisible thread was enough to throw off Dipper's balance. He instinctively tried to flail back upright, overcorrected, and tumbled off the log the wrong way. "No—!"

Bill lunged out of Ford's hold, scrabbled across the last few inches to his corpse, and planted his hand on his stone face.

He froze.

Ford froze.

Nothing happened.

"N..." Bill grabbed his arm, grabbed his hand, as though trying to shake on a deal with his own body; nothing. "No." He sounded more confused than anything. "No, no, nonono..."

He hung off the statue by his grip, pressed his forehead against their joined hands. And then he let go and slowly put his trembling hand on the dead face. And then he sat there, breathing shakily, every few seconds sucking in a hitching gasp that made his shoulders jerk.

Ford gingerly got to his feet, brushed his clothes off, and looked at Bill. He didn't move for a moment; then reached for Bill's shoulder; then stopped, curled his hand into a ball, clasped it behind his back, and turned away. "Dipper," he called. "You can come back. It's..." He cast one last glance at Bill, then forced himself to look away. "It's safe."

By the time Dipper caught up, Ford had made his way back into the overgrowth, leaving Bill alone in the clearing. Dipper started, "What...?" but fell silent when he saw Ford's face. He looked past him at Bill and winced.

Ford shoved his hands in his pockets and mumbled, "We should give him..." Dipper nodded.

Bill remained kneeling for less than a minute. Then he leaned forward, used his sleeve to wipe some of the moss off of his dead eye and the bird crap off his hat and hand, and unsteadily heaved himself back to his feet. He moved like he was very, very old. He glanced over his shoulder at Ford and Dipper. "What're you two staring at." His voice sounded like somebody was attempting to strangle him and his smile looked like a zombie had pulled its skin back on wrong. "You should've said you were waiting on me. I was just..." His eyes briefly unfocused. He shook his head. "Just taking a break." His cheeks were dry. He hadn't even cried.

They stepped back as Bill wove around the brambles. Dipper swallowed hard and asked, "Are you alr—"

"Of course I am." Bill plodded mechanically toward the path out of the dense dark woods.

Ford asked, "Do you want t—"

"What I want is to get wherever we're pitching our tents before nightfall." Bill pulled his eyepatch back in place. "You're making us camp, right?"

They had no choice. If they wanted to get to the top of Trembley Falls, reach Gravity Peak, and get back down the same day, they had to be ready to ascend in the morning. They couldn't afford to go back to the shack tonight. "Are you s—"

"What were the readings like," Bill asked.

Ford hadn't even gotten as far as taking readings around the statue; he'd still been checking the perimeter of the overgrown zone when Bill ran past. He looked for where he'd dropped his scanner, picked it up, and checked. "215 micro-rips detected. Higher than baseline levels, but—not even as high as readings around the portal."

Voice thick with venom, Bill said, "What a surprise."

When the forest had brightened again and the creek was visible, Bill turned to travel upstream alongside it. Dipper pointed across the creek at Bill's backpack. "You forgot your..."

"Right," Bill said tiredly. He hopped across the creek.

And gasped in shock when, instead of floating across as before, he landed heavily in the middle of the creek. He squeezed his eye shut, pinched the bridge of his nose, and took a long, silent inhale; and then he climbed out and grabbed his backpack. This time, he put enough force behind his jump to make it back across the creek.

Dipper and Ford exchanged a look. Ford said, "Do you need a minute to dry—?"

"No."

"You could catch a cold in those damp—"

"I knew how germ theory works on your planet when your gill-breathing ancestors were still swimming around in their own feces," Bill snapped. "When I say 'no,' it's not because I don't understand, it's because I don't care. Don't treat me like I'm ignorant and don't act like you care."

Ford's jaw tightened. No, he didn't care. Bill accepted basic human decency as easily as he offered it. "Fine. Catch pneumonia."

"Fine!"

Ford pushed past Bill to lead the way to the lake. He tried not to notice how Bill was trembling.

####

Maybe ten minutes passed in silence before Ford worked up the nerve to say, "You—know why we didn't tell you." It was the closest he'd get to an apology.

Bill was silent for a long moment. "Of course I do." It was the closest he'd get to accepting it. "When I get my power back, I'm going to invent a very clumsy, easily startled species of bird whose feathers are scalpel blades. And then I'm unleashing a million in the shack, barricading the doors, and blowing an air horn."

Dipper grimaced. Ford muttered, "Thanks for reminding us not to feel too bad for you."

Bill let out a raw, broken laugh.

It was a very quiet hike to the edge of the lake.

####

After spending the first half of the expedition trying to hurry Ford and Dipper up, now Bill was the anchor slowing them down. He trudged so slowly that Dipper kept having to stop to give his bracelet a little slack; but Bill kept moving, and Ford and Dipper agreed without speaking not to say anything about it.

By the time they reached the lake, the sun was just touching the rim of the mountain curling west around Gravity Falls. The water had risen so far, it flooded the roots of the trees nearest the shore. Far down the shore, distant dark dots, locals were doing cannonballs off the submerged pier, reveling in how high they could jump, how slowly they fell, and how their splashes hung suspended in the air.

Under the unusual conditions and with night coming on, Ford decided that it wasn't safe to try to set out for the cave under the falls. They'd camp on shore and start in the morning.

This, unsurprisingly, started another fight with Bill. "If we were falling behind, you should have said so, I'd have picked it up—!"

"I'm so sorry, I didn't want to imply you were too ignorant to tell the time—"

"The time isn't the issue, I just didn't think you'd give up for the night before it's even civil twilight—!"

Dipper just found a low hill to pitch his tent on.

When Bill noticed, he broke off the argument, flung his hands in the air in defeat, and crouched by the lake to sulk and study the water. He reflexively scratched his arm, pushed up his sleeve with a frown, and read the soothsquitos' message. "'Deeth in the mourning,'" he muttered. "What's deeth? That's not a word."

Maybe they'd been trying to spell teeth, Ford thought. Why would they warn Bill about teeth?

Ford pitched his tent, he and Dipper made a fire, and they attempted to reconstitute some of Ford's dehydrated astronaut food to mixed success. Bill stayed by the lake and tried to eat the cereal he'd brought, but gagged on the second handful and decided dinner wasn't worth the effort.

As Ford cleaned up after dinner, Dipper rummaged through his backpack. "Hey, Grunkle Ford. So..." He pulled out a portable chess kit. "I brought this to Gravity Falls back when I thought this would be a normal summer and I thought we might go camping? And, well, here we are, and I guess things are kiiinda weird, but, I mean... might as well...?"

Fiord smiled wanly. "I think that's just what we need to unwind."

They unrolled Dipper's canvas chess board and took several tries to set up the pieces on the uneven surface. Ford let Dipper take white; he figured the younger and less experienced player could use the advantage of going first.

Bill wandered over with a can of cider early in the match and crouched at the edge of the firelight to watch. He had rolled his sleeves back down, tied his bow tie, and flipped up his hood, and in the dimming flickering light he looked disconcertingly like his real self. He hadn't bothered to stuff his hair into his hood, and it gave the impression that some strange golden internal organs were spilling out of a gash beneath Bill's eye.

After watching for several minutes, Bill said, "Dibs on playing the winner."

Ford and Dipper said, "No."

"Why not!"

"Because we don't like you," Dipper said.

"Oh, come on." Bill ignored Dipper, turning toward Ford. "Remember how much fun we used to have?"

"I remember that you're an incorrigible cheat and made every game miserable," Ford said.

Bill reeled back. His face was hidden under the shadow of his hood, yet somehow the shadow gave off the impression of fury. He chugged half his cider, unslung his backpack, and dug around inside it. "Who wants to play against humans anyway." He unscrewed a bottle of cold medicine, topped off his cider, and poured the concoction down his throat. "Ugh. You're not even any good. Black's got mate in three and I bet neither of you can see it."

Ford and Dipper stared at the board, trying to find the looming checkmate.

Bill stood. "I'm gonna go hallucinate, pass out, and hallucinate some more. More fun than hanging out with a couple of nerdy losers playing a stupid game of..." He trudged off toward his tent, muttering to himself.

Ford concluded that Bill was probably making up the mate in three—although not confidently—and returned to the game with a sigh. "It will be nice to drop him back in the shack," he muttered.

Dipper nodded. "Yeah."

Ford won—not in three moves—and they started a new game. Several minutes in, Dipper asked hesitantly, "Grunkle Ford? Do you really think the micro-rip theory...?"

Ford pursed his lips, but admitted, "Out of all the locations of concern, you could argue that the spot in the sky where the rift spent a week floating has the highest probability of sustaining lasting damage, so we still need to check. But..." He shook his head. "Based on the empirical evidence—I'm beginning to have my doubts."

Dipper's shoulders relaxed; part of him had worried questioning the Acceptable Theory would be taken as disloyalty. "Then, what do you think about Bill's...?"

Ford snorted. "'Gravitational eclipse' explanation?" He propped his chin in his hand, thinking. "I'm only certain of two things: Bill knows exactly what's going on; and he's hiding something he doesn't want us to know. Everything he's told us so far is what he wants us to think is the truth, and because of that, any of it could be lies. He hasn't given us anything we can independently verify in any way—just vague claims he expects us to take his word for and refuses to elaborate on. Even if he is telling the truth, it doesn't matter. We have to act like... not like he's lying, per se; but like what he says has no correlation with whether it's true."

And thus had been the case with everything Bill had said and done since his capture. Every power he claimed he still had, and every power he acted like he'd lost. Every bit of magical, historical, or interdimensional trivia he spouted off to make himself sound smarter. Every sweet thing he'd said to Mabel, every favor he'd offered Stan—and every time he'd told Ford he wanted to be "friends."

Dipper nodded. "Mabel says that's just how Bill talks. He doesn't care about whether what he's saying is true, he just tells you what he thinks should be true."

Ford would have to keep that in mind when talking to Bill in the future. "That girl's a wizard with Bill. Maybe she's right." Still—he had a hard time believing that figuring out what Bill was really saying had actually been that simple all along. (Maybe he just didn't want it to be that simple, after all the time he'd wasted.)

Ford glanced down at the ring the Hand Witch had gifted him. The first time she'd given it to him in the eighties, she'd told him that if the ring ever turned black, he'd chosen the wrong friends and doomed himself. He couldn't tell if it was just the firelight, but as he looked in the deep blue cabochon now, he swore he saw a swirl of black spiraling beneath the surface. He wished he knew what that meant—was he supposed to trust Bill more, or had he already absentmindedly taken something Bill had said on faith that he shouldn't have? Had that swirl first appeared only now during the eclipse, or when Ford had started studying the miniature grimoire Bill had gifted him? Was it even due to Bill? Ford hadn't studied mood-ring-o-mancy.

Dipper snuck a rook onto Ford's back row. "Checkmate."

Ford huffed. "Well done." He'd been so distracted, he hadn't even noticed Dipper lining his rook up.

Dipper pushed Ford's king over. It dramatically fell in slow motion.

They packed up the chess board, put out the campfire, and slept uneasily.

####

In spite of the sedative cold medicine, Bill couldn't get any decent sleep. It wasn't even a good trip. Every time he shut his eyes for a few minutes, he hallucinated/dreamed that he was locked back in the shack staring at the high attic ceiling, or staring silently at Soos's bedroom—or watching over the town graveyard from high above; or locked like a hunting trophy in a glass display case in some local hick's darkened den; kidnapped and tied up beneath Gideon's bed; closed in a dark airless leather box; preserved like an ancient relic in the museum; hovering above Gravity Falls' valley and trees in the still night sky —

—or petrified in the middle of a quiet knot of overgrown plant life deep in the forest.

Or still in the tent but with his head wrenched around wrong, unable to move or feel his limbs, staring out at an angle that should have been impossible—until he awoke with lungs heaving to find his body was right and he wasn't dead; only for the humanity of his shape to reassert itself and he envied the stone corpse.

He crawled out of his tent, threw up his ill-advised concoction of cider and cold medicine, and collapsed, slipping in and out of a delirious doze until morning.

####

(I have been so looking forward to inflicting this chapter on y'all. Hope you enjoyed, please let me know what you think, and if you thought that was bad then stay tuned for things getting even worse for Bill!! 🎉)

#(there's another 2 pics I might later add at the top; but I don't wanna spoil it when the chapter's new. give folks a day to read or so lol)#bill cipher #human bill cipher #grunkle ford #stanford pines #gravity falls #gravity falls fic #gravity falls fanart #fanart #my art #my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 2 years

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A Phil update! For those who were asking.

I mentioned before that Phil works for a call centre. I'm pretty sure I've also made it clear by now that Phil's spectacular weirdness, coupled with his hatred of capitalism, means he's been mentally checked out of that job for a while now. His main focus has been his degree for the past year anyway. The only reason he's stayed is because Phil has a history of destructive impulsivity that he's been actively working on, so he didn't want to just walk out.

So there we are, scene set. Last week, he phones my husband.

"A weird thing happened in work," he tells Steff. "My manager called me into the office for a chat, but... I think it was weird? I'm pretty sure it was weird."

"Tell me what happened, Phil," says Steff.

***

Here's the story:

Phil goes into the office, and the manager fixes him with a Kind Smile.

"Phil," the Manager says hesitantly. "Do you... like working here?"

"...um," says Phil, distantly aware after Many Conversations with Exasperated Friends that the correct answer to your boss is 'yes', but physically incapable of lying. "Well. I. Um."

"Because," the manager says awkwardly. "Look, you - it's okay."

"Is it?" Phil asks vaguely.

"It's okay," the manager repeats. "I know you don't like working here. This isn't what you want to do. You don't want to stay."

"No," Phil agrees, relieved they are on the same page.

"Listen," the manager says, in an agony of awkwardness. "Look, Phil... you're such a nice guy. Just... I'll write you the best reference. But you can just... go, if you want. You can... go back to your desk and log out and just... leave."

"...okay," says Phil. And he leaves.

***

So he tells this story to Steff, who is, obviously, BAFFLED.

"Okay," says Steff. "Right. Phil. Phil what the fuck did you do."

"Nothing!" Phil protests. "I didn't do anything!"

"Okay," Steff says again, changing tack. "Phil. What have you done recently that a capitalist would disapprove of?"

"Oh," says Phil. "It's probably because I gave that old woman £200 of company money."

"...go on," Steff says wearily.

***

Here's the story:

This sweet old woman rings and says her phone was down for a couple of days. She's calling to complain, because it meant she couldn't contact her relatives, and she felt lonely.

"I'm so sorry," says Phil. "Do you want some money?"

("First question," says Steff. "Were you supposed to give any money at all for that?"

"...no," says Phil.)

So this old woman is like "Uh... yes please? Okay?"

"Alright!" says Phil cheerfully. "Let's see how much I can give you."

("Second question," says Steff. "Were you allowed to give out £200 to anyone?"

"Oh, no," says Phil. "They made it really difficult, actually, it took ages.")

"Ah," Phil tells this old lady. "I can only give you £50. Let's try that."

"I... thank you," says this old lady, already in the grip of the Heady Bewilderment that descends on everyone who speaks to Phil for a bit. "That's very generous."

"It's gone through!" says Phil happily. "There we are. I wonder if it'll let me do it again?"

"Um," says the old lady, who is starting to sense that she's dealing with a maverick doing something he shouldn't.

("Third question," says Steff. "Did she ask for more at any point?"

"Um... no," says Phil.)

"It worked!" Phil says brightly. "Do you want me to do it again? I think it'll let me."

"...okay," this old lady says, strangled. "Thank you."

"No problem," says Phil helpfully. "It's done it, I think. Shall we do one more?"

"Yes please," says this old woman, who is now convinced she's either called the wrong number or is speaking to an amenable faerie one mustn't refuse.

Phil tries again. It goes through.

...

"Do you think," Steff asks, "that this might have been a fireable offence?"

"I suppose?" Phil says dubiously. "The company has loads of money though, I don't see why."

"...no, of course you don't," Steff agrees.

"Anyway," Phil says. "I think I left on a good note. But that might have been weird, too."

"What did you do," Steff sighs.

"Well, I packed up my desk," says Phil. "And then this guy turned up who was supposed to give me some training. And I told him that I was leaving so it wasn't necessary, and then he said that he had to give the training-"

"You did the training, didn't you," says Steff.

"I did the training," says Phil.

#vote for phil #long post

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irondad-defensesquad · 8 months

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My Irondad fic recs!

I thought of doing this because why not? Admittedly, I'm not reading as much fanfiction as I did a couple years ago, but some fics have changed my life entirely. In case I forgot one, I'll add it later!

I would’ve organized this in a bullet list, but Tumblr hates me and invented a character limit for that. So this is going to be long and will be under the cut. Anyway, let’s do this!

Rare and Sweet As Cherry Wine by loubuttons – I've mentioned this one before, but this fic right here was what inspired me to write my own Irondad works. One very particular detail I like about it is how it portrays Maria, Tony's mother. It's not what I usually see in other fics about Tony's childhood, since they tend to make Howard the big bad parent. Of course, this is because I personally related to it, as I don't believe in the "bad parent vs. good parent". I also like that it praises Edwin Jarvis as the one who looked out for Tony the most. It's pretty realistic and a very melancholic character study, IMO. *TW for abuse and neglect*

You're Always Iron Man by madasthesea – a very short fic but I absolutely love the premise. Takes place after the big battle in Iron Man 2, and Tony finds little Peter again. They have a very endearing interaction. The following chapter is also very cute!

Nothing like a fresh cup of humiliation in the morning by madasthesea – Pure fluff! This one is probably a classic in the Irondad fandom. Tony kisses Peter's forehead without second thought. Shenanigans ensue. It's so adorable and funny. If you just want to read fluff without angst, this one is for you.

when my body won't hold me anymore (where will I go) by madasthesea - I think I heard about this fic thanks to @/irondadfics here on Tumblr, but I might be wrong since I already knew the Nice work, kid series. Anyway, Peter is believed to be dead, so Tony (and the rest of the Avengers team) is mourning him. In reality, Peter is astral projecting. You know, sort of like how Stephen Strange, in his first movie, was fighting a guy in the other dimension while his body on Earth was struggling to live. That's basically what happens. Strange appears, of course, and saves the day. And I pretty much LOVE the presumed dead trope. I don't know why. Maybe it's the angst of it all. *TW for grief/mourning and temporary character death*

The Reason by doctornineandthreequarters – I think I read this one when I was still writing Oh, take me back to the start. I was looking for fics for inspiration, and I found this one. During the Time Heist in Endgame, Tony remembers the reason he's fighting to bring everyone else back. It's very emotional.

Couch Cuddles by happyaspie – Classic sickfic, but with more fluff than anything. I like rereading it when I feel lonely and touch-starved, especially when I'm also sick like Peter.

You’re So Much Like Me (I’m Sorry) by SpaceCowboysFromMars – Irondad + Miles Morales! Peter is an adult in this, and he freaks out when an injured Miles arrives in his apartment. Tony gives him some wisdom about mentoring and parenting. I don’t usually find Irondad stories featuring Miles (and not necessarily a Spider-Verse crossover), so this was a nice discovery. Peter & Miles & Tony is a very underrated trio IMO. *TW for slight gore*

I'm Glad I Have You by punkybunny – Peter has been having a rough time, dealing with loneliness as Aunt May is not home often, and with bullying at school... until he finally has the chance to spend time with Tony. However, the demons don't disappear completely. Obviously, more Hurt/Comfort, lmao. *TW for nightmare/bad dream*

I Want to Trust You by punkybunny – Actually part of a series that, admittedly, I haven't read all the other stories. But even this one is a very interesting concept on its own. This is a Hydra Peter AU, after Peter has been rescued. He gets sick but given his past in Hydra, he thinks Tony is going to get angry. Peter is proven wrong when Tony helps him get better. The ending is very adorable. I'll see if I can read the rest of the series one day. *TW for past abuse and experimentation*

what you think I've done wrong by ironxprince – I don't often read Biodad stories as you all know, but I was, again, looking for inspiration for You keep me searching for a heart of gold, and I stumbled across this one. Basically Peter, as Tony's biological son, finally meets Howard. It goes as well as you think /sarcasm. *TW for physical abuse*

i, in time, will climb my mountain by ironxprince – This one is heavy. Once again, Peter is Tony's bio son, and he's suicidal. Every time Peter attempts suicide, he buys a new plant. Tony doesn't know this, so he's confused as to why there are so many plants in their house. I love this one, but of course, I try to read it when I’m not having a really bad day. *Once again, TW for suicide attempts*

how do you get that lonely (and nobody knows?) by parkrstark – Yeah... another heavy one. Peter attempts suicide but he saves himself before he reaches the ground. With that, he goes to Tony. This ends happily, don't worry. *TW for suicide attempt*

When You Can't Sleep by Emily_F6 – Pretty much Tony comforting a sleepy Peter, who has just had a nightmare about Thanos. Just Hurt/Comfort and domestic fluff. *TW for mention of death*

i get by (but it's eating me alive) by Livinei – Honestly, I think this is the BEST May's Abusive Boyfriend story I've ever read. For one, none of the characters are oblivious nor dismissive of Peter's feelings. May isn't neglectful and Ned actually tries to encourage Peter to tell someone. I also like that Peter isn't completely helpless. I don't usually see those things in other fics with this trope, sadly. And of course, Protective Tony is my weakness. *TW for emotional and physical abuse*

Hold Me Together by An_Odd_Idea – Post-Endgame where Tony is alive, and Peter and Tony are both trying to cope, so they rely on each other. Pure Hurt/Comfort.

A Tremendous Thing by ExpectoPatronum – Possibly one of my favorite Irondad stories EVER. Also post-Endgame with Alive Tony (though the author better explains it in the notes, it's supposed to be part of a series, but this story can be read on its own). There are a lot of references to Charlotte's Web if you're familiar with it. Basically, it's Father's Day and Peter is feeling guilty and out of place at Tony's lake house, even though everyone is readily trying to include him. It's absolutely beautiful and painful.

Hug You I Must by spiderwriting (catch_you_later) – Probably one of the first touch-starved Peter fics I've read. I like how it describes touch-starvation as this "itchy" current in your body, something that makes you anxious. Thankfully, Peter gets his hug later on. Plus there are some Star Wars references (the title probably is one, lol). *There's some minor violence here when Peter is fighting off some bad guys, but not the focus of the fic*

When You're There With No One There To Hold, I'll Be The Arms That Reach For You by Squibbles94 – Another touch-starved Peter fic. But I really like the references to Cast Away. Ironically I saw this movie in the same year the author published this fic (dare I say SHORTLY after it was posted). I also had no idea that Cast Away was entirely about isolation. Gosh, the main character's monologue at the end ALWAYS gets to me... anyway, yeah, the peak of the pandemic was awful to me, so reading fics like this one helped tons. It still does.

I am cold by N/A (orphan account) – Peter tries to visit Tony, but he gets lost in a subway tunnel on a freezing day. Eventually we learn why Peter wanted to see Tony, but overall this is mainly domestic fluff. Everything ends well.

Sorry Pedro by PinkEasterEggs – One of the first Irondad fics I read. Peter has a nightmare about Homecoming (mainly Toomes), but he avoids waking Tony for that reason. But thanks to F.R.I.D.A.Y's protocols, Peter goes to his mentor. Tony is also super soft here and it makes my heart swoon.

you are enough by diaz_evan – Another post-Endgame fic. Arguably I began reading Irondad fics only after Endgame released. Anyway, this one is short, kinda sad but it ends well. It’s Tony’s birthday and Peter feels very anxious about what to get him as a present. Thankfully, he doesn’t need to prove his love for Tony. *TW for panic attack*

Happy Father’s Day, Mr. Stark by downeylove – There are a lot of Father’s Day fics for these two, of course, but this one takes the cake for me. It’s simple but very endearing to me. Tony obviously doesn’t have good memories of this day, but Peter changes that for the first time. It’s really cute. Plus, Pepper is here, and I love her. I wish I could read more of her interacting with Peter. *TW for mentions of alcoholism and past child abuse*

5 Times Peter Didn’t Say He Was Struggling… And The One Time He Did by Bladam_Shevine – Again, an old fic I read years ago. I admit I haven’t re-read it in a while, but I remember enjoying it and even saving it to read offline. It’s basically what it says in the title: Peter struggles in many ways and he initially refuses help. Tony is always there to reassure him he can count on him. Bruce is here if you like him! And MJ helps Peter on one of the chapters as well. The chapters might get heavier as they go, but it ends on a hopeful note. *TW for injury, panic attack, suicide attempt (it doesn’t involve Peter), and depression*

The Good Days and the Bad by SoupGirlLovesSoup - Peter has had a bad day, now he's cuddling with Tony. It takes a while before Peter finally tells him what happened. It gets sad, but it's mostly fluff and it ends hopefully. I love re-reading it when I need the comfort. *TW for mention of suicide attempt, depression, and bullying*

Breathe Again by gwenoakley - Post-Endgame where Tony survives. He's recovering in the hospital and Peter finally reunites with him. Before that, though, we can feel the anxiety and trauma Peter feels. Definitely makes me emotional. It's the ending they deserved.

Popsicles and Playgrounds by ironfamjam - I can't believe I forgot to save this one in my bookmarks. I used to re-read this all the time! It's an AU where MIT student Tony meets a kid Peter. Eventually, Tony becomes Peter's babysitter! This is part of a series, which I still have to read fully. It's such a wholesome idea!! <3 *Howard's bad parenting is mostly mentioned*

Well, for now this is it! Again, I might add more fics here. I think I also could make a list of what particular concepts I want to read more in Irondad stories, so maybe you guys could give me your own recs. I might try to resume my habit of reading Irondad fics, because they give me a lot of comfort. Thanks for reading this far! I hope you enjoy any of the stories I included.

(I'm aware some authors here have their accounts on Tumblr, but I didn't want to annoy anyone by tagging them, so yeah 😅)

EDIT (June 4th, 2024): What Irondad fics I would like to read!

#lotus speaks #irondad #fics #fic rec #anti starker

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study-coffee-chicago · 2 months

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Glasses (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister Imagine)

A/N: Thank you so much for reading and for sticking around with my sporadic posting! Please don't forget to vote and comment!

I start my second year of my doctoral program next week and have been working 60 hrs/wk these past few weeks to save up for when I have less time during the school year. I don't know when I will post next, but I have an idea that I want to write and I've also been trying to write 300 words/day, which is very helpful in getting writing done.

Anyway, sorry for the long author's note! Enjoy!

"You gonna go see my teacher now?" you asked after you and Jay walked into your elementary school one spring evening.

"Yup," Jay answered while he led you over to the small table set up right outside the room. It was stocked with coloring pages, markers, crayons, and a couple of books. "And you're going to sit right here while I talk to her, okay? I'll be right inside."

"And then we get ice cream after?"

"What was our deal?"

You sighed. "If I get a good re- re--" you scrunched up your eyebrows as you tried to remember the grown-up word that Jay had used earlier. "What's that word?"

"Report."

"Oh, yeah! If I get a good report, then I get ice cream."

"That's right."

"Mr. Halstead?" your teacher said as she stepped out of your classroom.

"Hi, Miss H!" You waved. "Please tell Jay I was good because I get ice cream then!"

Jay chuckled. "You'll just have to wait and see, kiddo. Now, be good while I talk to Miss H, okay?"

"Okay!" Then, you started flipping through the coloring pages to try and find one that you wanted to color.

***

"So, tell me the truth, is she a troublemaker?" Jay asked as he sat down across from your teacher. "I know for a fact me and my brother were, so it wouldn't surprise me."

You teacher smiled. "Y/N is anything but that. She does her work as assigned, gets her planner signed at night, and stays on task very well. She struggles with math, but that's understandable. Some take longer to learn math than others. But, she excels at reading. She said that you read with her and do flashcards with her every night."

Jay nodded. "We're working through The Chronicles of Narnia right now. Me, my wife, Hailey, or my brother, Will, will read that to her before she goes to bed, depending on who's with her due to our schedules. Then, the next night, we'll have her try and read to us. She's working on Junie B. Jones."

"Well, it's working. And, she's making more progress in her mad minutes for math than she was a month ago. Do you work on flashcards every day?"

"We try to," Jay answered. "Those we try to do right after school and give her a snack with it. Some would call it bribery, but it works."

"Keep doing what you're doing. It's been working really well." She paused. "There is one thing that has been concerning me about, Y/N." Jay furrowed his eyebrows as he continued to listen. "When we move seats for groups during partner reading and other times during the day, I noticed that she struggles to read what's on the board. Sometimes she'll squint really hard and sometimes she'll walk up to the board to write in her planner at the end of the day. I've moved her to the front row for class, but when we move for groups and she's further away from the board, it seems that it's hard for her to see. Do you have the time and money to get her eyes checked? If not, we have vision testing coming to school in a month, which is free and required for all students," your teacher finished.

"My brother's a doctor, and we'll make sure to see her pediatrician about this. It's getting close to her yearly physical anyway. Thank you for telling me. Is there any other times that you notice this?"

"During library days, she always makes sure to sit in the front so she can she the pictures better. I'm sorry. I wish I had more information to give you."

"No, thank you for telling me this. I know you have a lot of other kids to look out for. Is there anything else I should know? Behavior wise, she's good, right?"

"Very well behaved. The only thing I was concerned about is her vision."

"Great. Thank you again for telling me."

"You're welcome. Is there anything else you needed to discuss regarding Y/N?"

"No," Jay answered. "I'll get out of your hair now then. You've probably got more parents to see."

"I do. Have a good night."

"You, too," Jay replied and then made his way to the door and out into the hallway.

Your head shot up the second you heard the door open. "I was good, right?" you asked.

"You weren't good-"

You dropped your head. No ice cream. "But-"

"You were great, kiddo!" Jay exclaimed.

"Ice cream!" you cheered.

Jay squatted down to your height and looked at the picture you were coloring. "That's really pretty and you're almost done. So, how about instead of going out for ice cream, I call Will and have him pick up ice cream sundae stuff and we can make them at home. That way, you can finish your picture at home."

"Can we watch a movie, too?"

Jay looked at his watch. 5:33. You'd have time to watch a Disney movie before bedtime. "If you start it right when we get home, then yes, you can watch a movie."

"Yay!"

"Now, stay here for a couple more minutes while I go call Will, okay? And, what's my rule?"

"If I have to go somewhere and can't tell you, tell a good adult." Jay had taught it to you as trusted adult, but you couldn't remember that word, so you always said good adult.

"That's right. I'll be right back."

Then, he made his way all the way down the hallway and turned the corner and continued walking until he was sure that you weren't within earshot to call Will.

He picked up on the first ring.

"If you need help disciplining her based on a bad report, that's all you, Jay. You're the disciplinarian and I'm the fun brother."

Jay rolled his eyes. "It's not that. She did great, but her teacher said that she might need glasses. She said she struggles to see the board. Think you could check her out tonight?"

"Jay, she needs to go to an optometrist for that."

"I know, but can't you just do some preliminary stuff? Also, she wants you to come over for ice cream sundaes and a movie, so you'd be there anyway."

"Who says I don't have plans?"

"C'mon, man. I know you."

"Fine, I'll be there in 30 minutes. You need me to pick anything up? Maybe a pizza? Can't just give the kid ice cream for dinner, but you know that."

"If you bring pizza, at least bring a salad with it," Jay bargained.

"Deal. See you in 30. And, I'll put in a call to her pediatrician on the way to your place."

"Perfect. Thanks, man. See you later."

Then, Jay hung up the phone and walked back over to you. "Ready to go?"

"Yes! Ice cream!"

"Ice cream is right. Let's go, kiddo."

Then, you two made your way to his truck and went to the store to buy everything you, Jay, Will, and Hailey would need for ice cream sundaes. And, Jay kept an eye on you to see if you were squinting. But, it was a bit difficult because he was making a mental checklist and checking everything off while you two were in the store. He figured he'd investigate more when you got home.

***

When you got back, you quickly put on your Tangled pajamas and told Jay that was the movie you wanted to watch.

Then, you grabbed your stool from under the sink while Jay was in the living room getting the movie pulled up. Your hand was on the handle to the freezer and you were just about to open it when Jay walked back in.

"And what do you think you're doing, missy?" You turned around to face him and it was like you were a deer in the headlights. "Were you trying to get ice cream before dinner?"

"Maybe..." you answered slowly.

"That's what I thought. Now, how about you get down and start your movie so that you can finish it before bedtime? Will will be here soon and then I'll bring your food to you."

"I get to eat in the living room?" Jay almost never let you eat in the living room! You always had to eat at the table!

"If you eat over your plate, you can eat in the living room. But, if you start being messy, it's right back to the table."

"Okay!" You jumped down from your stool, put it away, and then made your way to the couch in the living room. You grabbed your favorite fuzzy blanket from the back of the couch and then hit play on the remote.

Jay chuckled and reached into the cabinet where he hid the stickers for your sticker chart. Then, he placed one on the line next to the chore that said Clean up when asked - No arguing.

Even though he didn't ask you to put your step stool away, you still did it. And, maybe he was giving you this because he felt guilty about not noticing that you were struggling to see. Either way, you were one step closer to getting a prize.

Five minutes later, Will walked in with the pizza.

"Will!" you exclaimed and jumped up off the couch and ran up to him. "My teacher said I was really good!"

"I heard that! Now let me put this down and then I can give you a big hug. And I even got you your own pizza!"

"You did?"

"Yes, I did, silly!"

"Jay, did you hear that? Will got me my own pizza! That way I don't have to pick the gross onions and black olives off yours."

"I did! Now, let's let Will put down the pizza, hmm?" Jay said and grabbed your hand to gently pull you out of the way.

You moved out of the way, allowing Will to set the pizza boxes on the table. Then, he crouched down and gave you a bone-crushing hug.

"Stop! Too tight!" you laughed, making Will just squeeze you harder while Jay tried his best to contain his laughter at the two of you.

"Alright, you two, Let's eat before the pizza gets cold. Y/N, go wash your--"

Jay was cut off by the door opening and you squealing.

"Hailey!"

You wriggled out of Will's hold and ran up to her. "Guess what?! Guess what?! Guess what?!"

"Guess we know who her favorite is," Will muttered.

"What?" Hailey asked with a giant smile on her face. She was also holding a pink box that you noticed sort of smelled like cookies.

"I did really good at school so I get pizza and ice cream sundaes!"

"I know! Jay told me! So, I thought we could have brownie sundaes!"

She moved toward the table and set down the pink box. Then, she opened the box, revealing fresh, warm brownies from the bakery a block from the district.

You reached for one, but Jay quickly swatted your hand away. "Nuh-uh. Dinner first, missy."

Jay then put your personal pizza on a plate along with a breadstick, baby carrots, and some ranch for you to dip the carrots in. He handed you the plate along with some napkins.

"Go ahead and watch Tangled while you eat, okay? We'll be in there soon."

"Okay!"

The minute Jay heard the movie playing again, he was all business. "So, how are we doing this, Will?"

Jay didn't need to explain to Hailey what he was referring to here because he texted her that you had gotten a good report, but that your teacher also said that you needed glasses after he called Will when you were at school.

"I called her pediatrician and she can see her on Friday. She said that if she does need glasses, the optometrist should be able to get her on Monday."

"Perfect, great. Me and Hailey both work Monday, so you can take her, right?"

"I can take her," Will confirmed.

"Okay, good."

"So, in the meantime, what do we do?" Hailey asked.

"I'm just gonna watch to see if she squints at all during the movie. Maybe if you guys take her to the park tomorrow ask her to see things that are far away, like, Hey! Look at that cool bird! or something and see if she squints or not. Can't really do much until she goes to the optometrist," Will answered.

"You guys are missing Flynn get hit with a frying pan!" you yelled.

"I blame you for her love of violence, Jay," Will joked.

"Coming!" Jay yelled. "Just a sec, kiddo!"

Then, the adults filled their plates and made their way to the living room.

***

Monday afternoon

Will was going to kill his brother. When you got in the car, he asked if you were ready to go. To where, you had no idea. So, you had asked if you were going home.

"No, to the doctor, silly. To get your eyes looked at," Will answered.

"But I already did that! No more, please! Wanna go home!"

Will sighed but continued driving. "Why don't you want to go to the doctor, kiddo?"

"Because I don't want shots! I didn't get shots last time, so I gotta get shots now! Don't want 'em!" you cried.

"Oh, no, no, no," Will quickly soothed. "No shots. They're just going to look at your eyes. Then, you have to tell them which picture is easier to see and what letter you're looking at."

"Really? No shots?"

"No shots," Will confirmed.

"And I get French fries after?"

Will took a deep breath. Did he want to have an argument with you while driving and then end up either in an accident or late to your appointment because he had to pull over? No. Neither of those sounded particularly appealing. So, he went with the safest option.

"Yes, we can get French fries after."

***

"Y/N Halstead," the optometrist called after you had been sitting at the office for ten minutes.

You stood up and so did Will and you quickly grabbed his hand, letting him know that he would be coming into that room with you no matter what.

"I'm not going anywhere, kiddo."

"I just making sure," you told him, causing him to chuckle lightly.

You walked into an office with a weird thing hanging from the ceiling. There were lots of different circles and it was really big. There was a chair in front of it, too.

While the doctor started talking to you, he lowered the chair. "So, Y/N, I hear you're having a little trouble seeing the board at school, hmm?"

You shrugged. "A little. But only when I'm far away."

"And that's okay. What I'm going to do is help you see better. I'm going to lower down this machine--I know it looks big, but it's not scary, I promise--. Then, I'm going to have you read some letters to me."

"Like I did the other day at the doctor's?" you asked as you looked up at Will.

"Exactly like you did the other day," he confirmed. "Now you just look into special stuff so we know exactly what glasses you need." Then, he quickly turned to the optometrist. "Sorry. I'm Dr. Will Halstead, an ED doc at Chicago Med. Also her older brother."

"He said I gotta go to someone else for my eyes, but he's a doctor," you said to the optometrist.

The optometrist laughed and then shook your brother's hand. "Well, he's right." Then, he got down to your level and said in a stage whisper, "and between you and me, I probably know more about eyes than him."

"Really? I didn't think anyone was smarter than Will!"

"Really. Now let's take a look at those eyes." He moved over to his chair and then had you look into the glass circles. "Now, read me the smallest letter you can see."

***

"How'd it go?" Jay asked when you and Will walked into his apartment. Then, he spotted the McDonald's bag. "Seriously?"

"Only way she was gonna go. You sure she doesn't listen to your interrogations at the district? She had to have learned blackmail from somewhere."

"Haha, very funny. Did it go well, kiddo?"

"Yeah, I had to look at these pictures and tell the not Will doctor what one looked better," you answered.

Jay held back a laugh at your description of the doctor. "Did you pick out any glasses?"

"Yeah, I got purple. Can I eat my food now?"

"Go wash your hands and then you can."

You ran off to go wash your hands so that you could eat your chicken nuggets and fries and then Jay turned to Will.

"She been like this all day?" Jay asked.

"Doesn't help when she has no idea what's going and I have to tell her thirty minutes before the appointment, Jay," Will quipped.

"Fries and nuggies!" you yelled as you ran out of the bathroom after washing your hands, which effectively cut your brothers' conversation about your lack of excitement to see clearly short.

***

3 days later, Thursday.

"You ready to pick up your glasses, kiddo?" Jay asked as you got in his truck in the pickup line at school.

You simply shrugged. "Yeah," was all you answered.

Today at school, during soccer at recess, a boy's glasses fell off and then someone accidentally stepped on them and broke them when you were playing! What if that happened with your glasses? What if you couldn't play soccer anymore because you wore glasses?

You loved soccer ever since you had started playing it last year. And, you and Jay always practiced on Sunday mornings at the park. And, when it was nice out, you two would always have a picnic. It was always a Jay and Y/N date (sometimes Hailey would come along, but only if you agreed to it). That time was sacred for you and Jay because of his demanding job, but what if you didn't get to do that anymore all because you needed stupid glasses to see the stupid board at stupid school?

"How was school?" Jay asked. He knew by your demeanor that your mood was more sour than it had been this morning, and he'd prefer to discuss it now than have you blow up at home. One would be shocked at how much anger you could hole up and spew out from your little body.

"It was good. Same old, same old."

Jay rolled his eyes. You had definitely picked up that saying from Will. "Do anything fun?" he probed. "Was recess good?"

"I played soccer during first and second recess, but I didn't score at all. Stupid boys. They're always faster than me."

If you hadn't added the last part, then Jay would probably have told you that boys have cooties anyway and to stay away from them until you're thirty. But, you did say that last part, so he knew he had to be comforting.

"Well, you gotta remember, you like playing defense, so what do I always tell you?"

"I gotta outsmart 'em...and slide tackle."

Last Jay checked that was illegal in kids' soccer. "I don't think me or Will ever taught you about slide tackling. Where'd you learn about that, kiddo?"

"Adam taught me when he took me to the park when you had to talk to some bad guys yesterday."

"Of course he did," Jay muttered. "Just remember, you can only do that to me, Will, or Adam. Don't try and do that to other people, okay?"

He knew that he should probably tell you to never do that, but eh, he figured he'd let you have a little fun. And, it wasn't like he never got kicked out of games for doing a slide tackle...okay, maybe multiple slide tackles in a game with one leading to the other team's captain getting a concussion.

"Okay," you answered. "I'm not good at 'em anyway."

Jay chuckled. "And let's keep it that way."

***

Jay was both happy and frustrated when he watched you put on your glasses and see the world clearly for the first time in who knows how long. He was frustrated because how could he have not noticed this? Hell, how could Will not have noticed this? And, he was happy as he watched your mouth fall slightly agape and mutter whoa to yourself.

After you made sure that your glasses fit and the optometrist did all the necessary checks, you made your way back to Jay's truck.

"I gotta stop at the district to pick up some paperwork," Jay said as he began driving. "You ready to show off your glasses to everyone?"

"Yes!" you exclaimed. You loved the color of your glasses and everything was so pretty! Nothing was blurry anymore!

When you walked into the district, you were first met with Trudy, who didn't see you at first.

"Looking for this, Chuckles? You left it here earlier and you and me both know that Voight will have your—" And then she noticed you and quickly shut her mouth before she swore in front of you.

"Good catch, sarge," Jay said and took the manilla folder from her.

"Y/N, I didn't know you had glasses! They look so pretty! So much better than my old lady ones," Trudy complimented.

Then, you heard someone coming down the stairs.

"So if I call you old—"

"Shut it, Ruzek," she snapped as Adam strode over to you.

"And, she's back. Thanks, man," Jay complained.

"I was just telling Y/N here how pretty her glasses were before you ever so impolitely interrupted," Trudy said to Adam.

Then, Adam crouched down to your height. "My, my. They sure are pretty." Then, he held up three fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Adam!" you laughed. "That's not how they work."

"But I thought that's how glasses worked. How about you tell me how they do work?"

"I just can't see far away. You gotta back up and do that."

He did so and then reached into his pocket.

"So, can you read this?"

"Oreos! I can read the words now!"

That stopped Jay in his tracks. "What do you mean by that, kiddo?"

"I can read the words from far away now and not just close by me. It's because I have my glasses now, duh."

Adam almost burst out laughing at your sass, but held back his laughter when he saw Jay's death stare directed right at him.

"Right, of course, silly me," Jay answered quickly. "Go get your Oreos from Adam and then we can go upstairs and show everyone else your glasses, how's that sound?"

"Okay!" you excitedly ran up to Adam and he handed you the Oreos. "Thank you!"

"You're very welcome!"

You started towards the stairs and Jay quickly whispered to Adam, "Boards flipped?"

"Did it before I walked down here since I heard her voice."

"Great, thanks."

"Jay! You gotta put your hand here to open it because I'm not special enough to put my hand here!" you exclaimed.

"Okay, okay, hold on a sec," he said and then gently pushed you to the side to put his hand on the palm scanner. The door beeped and then he pulled the door open. "Ladies first."

You walked in and immediately everyone's heads turned towards you.

"Y/N!" Hailey exclaimed "You got your glasses!"

"Yeah! Everything looks so much better and so pretty!" You took a moment to look around the bullpen. Despite being in this room with Jay and Hailey for two years now off and on since your dad died, you could finally see it clearly. You thought everything was always a little blurry around the edges.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Voight asked from the back of the bullpen near his office.

"Three!" you yelled confidently.

"That's right! Wow, she counts faster than you, Ruzek."

Jay held back a laugh while Adam exclaimed, "Why you gotta be like that, Boss?"

"Because it's true. You got the paperwork, Halstead?"

"Right here. I'll get out of your hair now because it's my RDO and I do not want to be here on my day off. C'mon, Y/N, let's go home."

"But I didn't see Kevin or Kim yet!" you whined.

"They're out doing police work, kiddo. You can see them later, okay?"

"But I want to show them my glasses!"

Hailey quickly saw the temper tantrum that was about to erupt and stood up. "How about I take a picture of you with your glasses and send it to them? Then you can see what they say when I get home tonight. How does that sound, Y/N?"

You nodded and walked closer to her. "Yes!"

While Hailey was taking your picture, Jay mouthed thank you to his wife for avoiding a meltdown in the bullpen.

***

3 days later, Sunday

You did not sleep good at all. You tossed and turned all night thinking about your Jay and Y/N date in the morning. You loved them and you loved soccer! But you couldn't go now because what if your glasses fell off when you and Jay were passing the ball and practicing? And, if you took off your glasses before playing, what if he got mad at you? Jay and Will had told you that you had to wear them all the time! And you didn't want Jay Jay to be mad at you!

So, when you went into the kitchen in the morning (wearing your glasses of course) and saw Jay and Hailey sipping their cups of coffee, one could only imagine your relief when you looked out the window and saw the sky was covered with dark gray clouds.

"Morning, kiddo," Jay greeted. "Doesn't look like we can play soccer today." Then, Jay furrowed his eyebrows as he got a better look at you. You had dark circles under your eyes that looked like they should be for a college student cramming for finals instead of a first-grader on a Sunday morning. "You feeling okay?" Then, he walked up to you and placed the back of his hand on your forehead. "Hmm, you don't feel warm."

"Didn't sleep good," you mumbled.

"I didn't sleep good either," Hailey sympathized. "Must be the weather." She knew it was her insomnia acting up, but you had no idea what that was--and she hoped you never would have to know what that was like--, but she didn't feel like explaining it to a first grader this early in the morning while she was running on fumes herself.

"How about we have a lazy day," Jay suggested. "Movies and coloring sound good, Y/N?"

"Yeah. Can Will come, too? He always does the best coloring."

It was true. Because of how steady Will's hands were due to being a surgeon, he could color in all the small areas in the pictures, even in adult coloring books that Hailey had, that you, Jay, and Hailey would typically make a mess out of and at least color outside the lines a bit.

"I'll give him a call. I don't see why he wouldn't want a lazy day," Jay said.

"And, I think we have some chocolate chip cookie dough in the freezer to bake cookies," Hailey suggested.

Jay glared at his wife and then rolled his eyes. You've already gotten spoiled with treats and takeout more than enough this past week and a half. But, he knew as well Hailey knew herself that she had a sweet tooth and it only got worse when her insomnia was acting up.

"Before we do all that," Jay began, "let's get you some breakfast first. What sounds good, kiddo?"

"Can I have an omelet? With lots of cheese please?"

You were recently introduced to these a few months ago when you and Hailey were enjoying chocolate chip waffles at a diner and Jay had an omelet. You wanted some of his hash browns, but he said you had to try a bit of his omelet. You didn't really want to try this, but your want hash browns overpowered this. And, lo and behold, you liked it! So, now on Sundays when Jay wasn't working, you'd ask for an omelette. It has to be Jay who made them though because he made the best ones between him, Will, and Hailey.

"Omelet it is," Jay replied and then picked up a spatula. "How about you go get dressed while I make this, okay?"

"Okay!"

Then, you ran off to your room to put on some comfy clothes to spend the day in.

***

"Where's Y/N?" Will joked when he walked inside around 10:30 that morning.

"I'm right here!" you yelled while you sat at the table coloring. You had no idea how he couldn't see you when you were right there!

"Oh, I didn't recognize you with such pretty glasses."

You dropped your head. "You- You don't?"

Luckily Jay was behind you so that you didn't see him wipe his hand down his face.

His brother, Jay thought. Thank god he didn't go into pediatrics.

"I was only kidding, silly! Of course, I recognize you! The only thing different about you is that you have glasses now. But, do you recognize me?"

"Yes! But your hair's really messy! Do you want to use my brush?"

Jay choked on his second cup of coffee at your comment and Hailey quickly hit him on the back.

He cleared his throat. "Sorry, went down the wrong pipe," he said and then coughed a couple more times.

Will smoothed down his hair. "Wind's pretty strong out there. Guess it messed it up a bit." Then, he walked over to the table and set a tray of drinks down. "Coffee for all three of us and hot chocolate for you." He handed you your drink. "Careful though. It might still be super hot. Now, what are we coloring?"

***

"She is totally out," Jay commented later that afternoon.

The four of you had started watching a movie and you had curled up next to Hailey under your favorite fuzzy blanket. Needless to say, after you struggled to sleep this past night, within thirty minutes of the movie, you were totally out with your head leaning against Hailey's chest.

Hailey smiled down at you. "She's so cute when she's sleeping."

"When she's awake she's a menace now apparently," Will joked.

"Just because she made one comment about your precious hair," Jay muttered. "Let the hair comment go, man. Let it go."

Will rolled his eyes. "So, how's she doing? She mention any headaches at all with her glasses?"

"Hasn't said anything to me," Jay answered. "She say anything to you, Hails?"

"Nothing," Hailey replied. "She also didn't say that kids were mean to her, so that's good, too."

"Yeah, I remember when Jay got his glasses. All the kids teased him about it," Will said.

"It wasn't all the kids. It was you! Just you! And, now they have more education for bullying and stuff, so maybe kids are nicer than when we were kids." Then, Jay changed the subject. "I'm just shocked she didn't throw a fit when I said we couldn't play soccer today because it was storming."

"But, she said she didn't sleep good last night," Hailey reminded him.

"Yeah, I know. But still, she loves Sundays. And, at the beginning of winter a few months ago, she threw a fit the first time there was too much snow on the ground to go."

"I would say consider it a good thing that she didn't fight with you this morning," Will began, "but you said she didn't sleep good. She say anything else to you? Her tummy or head hurt? I didn't notice anything off when I was here, but maybe she said something earlier."

Jay shook his head. "She seemed fine, other than her being tired."

"Okay, good. If she tells you anything else--especially if she's having headaches--let me know."

***

3 days later, Tuesday

You were usually so excited for Tuesday nights and soccer practice, but now, you were nervous. What if your glasses fell off and somebody broke them? You didn't want Jay or Will or Hailey to be mad at you!

So, when you were running at practice, you went exceptionally slow, which made Jay wonder if you were hurt. He watched you shake your head at your coach, so he must've asked you the same thing.

When you got in the car after practice, needless to say, Jay was slightly worried.

"You okay, kiddo? You didn't look like you were having fun out there."

"I was having fun," you answered, but that was only a half-truth. You only had fun when you were defending and didn't have to worry about running as much, and thus, your glasses falling off.

"Okay. You just didn't feel like it today then?" You shrugged. "That's okay. Everyone has days like that."

What he wasn't going to do was be like your dad and make it seem like you needed to be at 100% every single day. As long as you tried your best with what you had left in the tank, that was all that mattered.

You nodded and just looked out the window while Jay kept driving.

And once you got home, since you put your cleats away nicely without being asked, Jay added a sticker to your sticker chart. But, his detective senses were tingling.

Something was definitely off with you.

***

One week later

It had been a long week for both Hailey and Jay. They'd had their hands full at work trying to catch a serial rapist who ended up killing his last three victims.

During this time, you had spent most of your time with Will, except on Jay's RDO, and then Hailey's RDO when they each spent time with you instead. Even though each of them knew that the team would be a man down on each of their RDOs, they knew it would be difficult for Will to be the sole caretaker of you with his demanding job as well. So, even though they probably should've worked during their RDOs this week, they didn't.

But, they had been so mentally drained on their days off that neither of them remembered to check your backpack for important paperwork. And, both Jay and Hailey knew that Will always conveniently "forgot" to check this. (But, it was probably because he didn't feel like disciplining you if you got a bad report.)

Now, it was 8pm on Tuesday night, they had caught the guy, and both Jay and Hailey had quickly finished their paperwork so that they were home in time for bedtime.

Once Jay and Hailey had finished reading you a chapter of The Chronicles of Narnia, Jay did what he always did when he hadn't been able to see you on a couple of school days straight: he went through your backpack to see if he missed anything such as permission slips, notes from your teacher, and to ensure that Will had been making you do your homework.

When he went through your math folder, stuck between last week's homework assignments and this week's was a note written in cursive. Because it was written that way, he could only assume it was addressed to him or another adult.

Mr. Halstead, I'm writing you this to make sure that Y/N hasn't lost her glasses. I haven't seen her wearing them the past couple of days and wanted to make sure accommodations didn't need to be made. If she has lost them, please let me know and I will be sure to move her desk up to the front to help her see the board for the time being. If you have any questions, please call me at my office number or email me. I previously left a voicemail for you and emailed you, but I don't know if they went through. -Stephanie Harding.

Jay sighed, pulled out a chair at the kitchen table, and began scrolling through his phone. There, from Friday afternoon, was an email from your teacher as well as a phone call from yesterday morning. How could he have missed these?

"You okay?" Hailey asked as she walked into the kitchen, freshly showered. She grabbed two beers from the fridge, popped the cap off both, made her way to the table, and handed one to Jay. "We should be celebrating, not sulking."

"I know, and I'm glad that case is over and the guy's in prison because, you know, he's a monster, but look what I found in Y/N's backpack."

He slid her the note and she began reading.

When she finished, she looked up. "Don't talk to her tonight, Jay. You might dysregulate her so bad that she might go back to sleep because her routine got thrown off."

"I know, but when am I supposed to talk to her? I don't want her throwing a fit in the morning before school, and who knows what's going to come across our desks in terms of cases tomorrow."

Hailey grabbed one of Jay's hands. "Jay, we'll figure it out. And, if we need to wait for your RDO or the weekend when we both hopefully have off, then we'll do that, okay?"

"Okay." He gave his wife's hand a squeeze and then took a sip of his beer.

Thank god for Hailey Upton, he thought.

***

The next day, Wednesday

Once you and Jay got home after he picked you up from school, he made you a snack and you pulled out a chapter book to read to him to practice your reading skills like it was just any other day. He set the addition and subtraction flashcards next to him. You'd do those after you read to him.

But, when you took your first bite of your ants on a log (celery with peanut butter, topped with a few chocolate chips), he reached over and slid the book over to himself. Then, he set it down on the chair next to him so as not to distract you from the upcoming conversation.

"We're not reading?" you asked, furrowing your eyebrows at him.

"Listen, kiddo, we need to talk about why you are not wearing your glasses at school."

"I am!" you protested.

But, Jay saw how your eyes widened slightly when he first said it. He knew you were lying; now he just needed you to admit to it.

"Y/N, your teacher called me and told me that you aren't wearing them. You're not in trouble--"

"No!" you shouted and jumped off your chair. Then, you ran to your room and slammed your door.

Tears pricked your eyes as you threw yourself on your bed.

You couldn't play soccer when you were in high school if you had glasses! At all the games you went to, none of them had glasses! You couldn't give up soccer just to wear these stupid glasses! What did your brothers and your teacher know, anyway? None of them even wore glasses!

You were waiting for Jay to come yell at you for slamming your door, but he never came. And you were so tired from school and from the short conversation that you had with Jay, that you eventually just cried yourself to sleep.

As for Jay, the second he heard your door slam, he sighed and laid his head on the table. What the hell was he supposed to do?

***

You woke up to someone gently shaking your shoulder.

"Y/N, c'mon it's time for dinner, honey."

Hailey.

"No," you mumbled.

You didn't want to face Jay after everything!

"You need to eat, Y/N. You didn't even finish your snack earlier. Just c'mon out and eat dinner with me and Jay."

"Jay gonna be mad at me," you said quietly and rolled over so that you were facing the wall.

"He won't be mad; we just want you to eat something. He made your favorite, fettuccine alfredo, remember?"

That's right! You got to pick dinner once a week and told Jay last week that you wanted fettuccine! And today was Wednesday! It was your dinner day!

"Oh yeah! I forgetted!"

Then, you jumped out of bed and ran downstairs.

Hailey shook her head as she walked behind you. Kids and their moods.

When you got to the kitchen, your plate was set right where it usually was with fettuccine, broccoli, and garlic bread.

You eyed Jay suspiciously when you sat down.

Then, Jay noticed you weren't wearing your glasses. Hailey noticed the very slight tilt of his head, so she quickly jumped in.

"They're on her bedside table," she said. "She was sound asleep when I went up there."

"Mhm," you agreed and then took a bite of your pasta.

Jay figured it was better to let you eat almost all of your food before he started in on the glasses conversation again. He needed you to eat something because, at this point, you hadn't eaten anything except your one ant on a log since 11am at school, which was seven hours ago. He didn't know how you hadn't woken up and been hungry but hey, he knew as well as you did that tantrums made you utterly exhausted.

Once you only had half of your garlic bread left, Jay decided it was time to have another go at this.

"Y/N, me and Hailey were talking, and we thought that if you came home from school wearing glasses, you can get an extra sticker on your chore chart," Jay said. "How's that sound?"

You shrugged. "Okay." You had already been doing that. You'd put them on right when you got in the car. You didn't need them for up close stuff like talking with your friends anyway and you could see Jay, Hailey, and Will just fine without your glasses; they were just a little blurry around the edges.

"That means we need to see you wearing them when we pick you up," Jay continued. "You can't just put them on when you get inside the car." Your brother was nothing if not perceptive.

You could do that. You'd just put them on when you walked out of school for pickup. You couldn't wear them all the time because then what if someone said something about you not wearing them while playing soccer at recess? Then you'd have to wear them at recess and you couldn't play soccer with them on!

"Okay," you said.

"Okay, good," Jay replied.

But, he shot a glance at Hailey. That was way too quick for you to agree to this without a fight even with the added incentive of getting a sticker on your sticker chart.

Something was off and both he and Hailey knew it.

***

Two days later, Friday

Jay walked out of an interrogation, relayed the info to his team, and then sat down at his desk to do some digging into this guy's financials. But, his phone lit up, notifying him that he had a voicemail.

He saw it was from your teacher and his brow furrowed.

"Hi, Mr. Halstead. This is Stephanie Harding calling. I received your email a couple of days ago explaining how you talked with Y/N about wearing her glasses and she said that she'd wear them and that they are not lost. I just wanted to inform you that she hasn't worn her glasses at all throughout the school day, but will put them on for pickup.

I just wanted to inform you of this and please let me know if there's anything that I can do to help."

Jay clenched his jaw and sighed frustratedly after he finished listening. He thought he'd be dealing with this level of sneakiness when you were a teenager, not now!

"Nothing in the financials?" Hailey asked from across from him.

"Still working on that," Jay answered. "Y/N's teacher called. Said she still hasn't been wearing her glasses."

"What? She was wearing them yesterday when I picked her up."

"Her teacher said that she'll put them on at pickup but won't wear them at all during the rest of the day."

Hailey shook her head and rolled her eyes. "We are getting played by a first-grader, Halstead."

"Don't I know it. I'm gonna give Will a call and see if she wore her glasses at pickup. Maybe he can get to the bottom of it while she's at his house tonight."

***

"Alright, kiddo. Game plan today is homework, snack, and reading. Then we'll grab a quick dinner somewhere and go to the girls' soccer game. Sound good?" Will asked when you got inside and set your backpack down.

"Don't wanna do my math homework," you complained. "It's stupid."

"What are you working on?" Will probed. "Maybe I can help you."

"Subtraction. My friends say it's like adding, but the opposite, but it's not!"

"Okay, okay, calm down. I'll make you a snack and then we'll work through it together. How's an apple with peanut butter sound?"

"Do you still have the green apples?"

"I do. Green apple with peanut butter coming right up."

***

Will wasn't stupid. He knew why Jay probably couldn't get the answer from you about not wearing your glasses. And that was because he was asking at the wrong time and because he was the one who disciplined you. Will never had to do that except for taking away ice cream as a bedtime snack a couple of times when you mouthed off to him. You didn't have to worry about having to go to bed early or not being able to watch more tv because you had gotten in trouble with Will. And, you and Jay were very much alike; both of you bottled up your emotions and were stubborn to no end...which is probably why you argued more with Jay than you did Will and Hailey and why Jay couldn't get you to talk about your glasses.

So, Will didn't bring up the glasses at dinner. He didn't even bring them up when you were at the soccer game.

But now was the time for him to bring this up.

You were currently sitting down next to him on the pull-out couch with your teddy bear and your favorite blanket, all ready for a chapter of Narnia and then for bed. You were comfortable and there was nothing to overstimulate you. You had food in your system and the excitement from the day was over.

You were calm.

"Before we start reading, kiddo, I need to ask you a question," Will started.

"Okay, what is it? Is it about what happened in Narnia when me Jay and Hailey readed it last week? Because I can tell you so you're not con...con—" You scrunched up your eyebrows as you tried to remember the word. "So that you know what's happenin'," you said instead.

"It's not about Narnia, but you can tell me before we start reading if you want. But first, I want to know why you aren't wearing your glasses. Do they make your head hurt? Did someone laugh at you?" You shook your head. "Okay, then what is? What's going on, Y/N?"

"Soccer," you mumbled, but it was so quiet that Will couldn't even hear you.

"What was that?" Will asked softly. "It's okay. You can tell me. I won't be mad at you."

You looked up at Will's face. He didn't look mad. Maybe you could tell him. Maybe he wouldn't tell Jay either and then everything would be fine.

"I can't play soccer no more be-because I have glasses!"

At this, you started to cry. All of the nerves you had felt about lying to your brothers and Hailey and the sadness about not being able to play soccer anymore all came tumbling out of you. And, it didn't help that no one on the high school girls' soccer team that you just went and watched earlier wore glasses. That just proved your point!

Will sighed and held back a laugh. Leave it to a little kid to catastrophize from A to Z.

"Who told you that?" Will asked, now realizing that he needed to get to the root of the problem.

"No one did! But none of the big girls wear glasses when they play soccer! And one boy's fell off at school and they got smashed and I'm the only one on my team that has glasses and---"

"Hey, hey, slow down. Take a deep breath, okay?" He allowed you to take a few breaths before he placed a hand on your shoulder. "You can still play soccer."

You looked up at him and your eyebrows furrowed before your mouth fell slightly agape. "I can?

"Yes, silly! We just need to get a strap for the back of your glasses because then they'll stay on when you're running."

"And I can play soccer with Jay Jay on Sunday?!"

"And you can play soccer with Jay on Sunday, yes," Will confirmed.

"Yay!"

"Now what do you say you fill me in on Narnia before I start reading to you, hmm?"

***

"Tell me you got something out of her," was the first thing that Jay said when he answered Will's call later that night.

"Jay, this is our sister we're talking about, not a criminal investigation."

"I know that, smartass. Still...anything?"

"She thought she couldn't play soccer with her glasses."

"What? Where'd she get that idea?"

"Well, kids are very observant, Jay. Maybe more observant than you seeing as you didn't even catch this--"

"Neither did you!"

"Last I checked, my job doesn't involve me doing a stakeout or working undercover."

And then Will launched into a recap of the conversation he had with you.

"Come to think of it," Will began when he was done and had answered all of Jay's questions, "I'm shocked you didn't think to get one for her right away because you didn't get contacts until high school and wore your glasses with a strap when you played soccer all the way from elementary school to middle school. You know what? I think I still have some pictures of that from the family photo album I took from Dad's--"

"Don't you dare!" Jay threatened.

"Who's gonna stop me?"

"Name your price...within reason."

"Breakfast tomorrow, 9am before me and Y/N go pick out her glasses strap. And you're paying."

"Deal!"

And years later, once you got to high school, you never did get contacts because one, you thought you looked better with glasses than without, and two, you wanted all of the little kids that came and watched your games to know that they could play whatever sport they wanted regardless of whether or not they wore glasses.

A/N: Thank you for reading and don't forget to vote and comment! Also, fun fact, I didn't get my glasses until I was 21. I went to renew my driver's license and barely passed the eye exam, so now I wear glasses.

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vxmpyree · 17 days

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Angst comfort with jealous Nikto? Maybe some comforting Nikto?

friends to something ambiguous guys! friends to something ambiguous and a little heartwrenching! i love friends to will-they-won't-they! anyway sorry if this is kinda odd?? ivebeen in sick and fever dreamy the past couple of days I've worked on this

there's a new man on your squad. the upper brass transferred him from a different squad, citing an influx of inappropriate anger toward certain people.

and the moment he shows up, nikto doesn't like him. there's something about his dark, leering eyes that makes even his skin crawl. but what seals the deal for him is that he immediately goes to talk to you.

he's all over you, every day. he'll squeeze between you and nikto with his trey in the mess hall, pushing nikto out. the man visits you before lights out, stripping you of the little time you have to relax. but worst of all, you don't seem to mind.

nikto knows that this man isn't good news, but he can't point fingers without a good reason. that'd only alienate you further. he stays up for days, digging and digging, only to come out completely empty-handed. god, he must be good at covering up his tracks… or, maybe he just doesn't have anything wrong with him.

this whole ordeal pisses him off. he can't stop thinking about your cheeks warming when you talk to your new friend, and of you dolling yourself up before you see him. oh, nikto just wants to claw his own eyes out!

maybe nikto is just jealous… ah, no. he couldn't be. he doesn't get jealous.

two weeks into your newfound friendship, it dawns on you that nikto isn't hanging around as often as he used to. it's only ever the new guy and you, and if you manage to catch nikto around base, he's brooding and disinterested. you tire of this. you miss your friend-- you miss nikto. what happened to cleaning rifles together and dozing off in eachothers' quarters? you won't stand for this any longer.

it's late at night when you confront him. your spare key still fits into his lock, and you still have to lift the door to open it. he's sitting straight up in bed with wild eyes watching you. he never looks at you like that. nikto always knows when it's you, doesn't he?

you shut the door behind you with a soft click, taking care not to stir anybody nearby. your footfalls are light against the cold, hard floor, and they stop once they reach the side of his bed. he hasn't reached for a firearm or blade of any sort. maybe he isn't as mad as you believed.

you move to sit on the edge of the mattress. what should you say? you had a faint outline for what you planned on confronting him about, but the moment you walked in and saw those wide eyes of his, none of it seemed all that important.

your head turns to look at him. his face is hardly visible under the cover of the dark, but every little shuddering breath gets his point across. he's upset, deeply so, but he can't just say that. he can't just… talk to you. it's never that easy, not for him.

but, you've come to understand him; you know when nikto is upset. and this time, you know why he's upset too.

"…i'm sorry. you need a friend, don't you? i haven't been one," you whisper.

you want to hold him tight and tell him just how sorry you are, but he'd never let you hear the end of it if you did. you know by now that he doesn't like being touched very often.

something brushes against your fingers. they curl as a twitch rolls through your knuckles, but it persists.

it's his hand, his fingers. his scuffed palm moves to lay over the back of your hand, and his nails lightly itch your wrist.

maybe this is still salvageable. jealousy may not be the end of this.

#call of duty #cod #cod mw2 #cod drabble #cod fic #nikto #cod x you #call of duty nikto #cod nikto #nikto x reader #vxmpyree

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graciereadshannigram · 6 months

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hey fam, welcome to the March roundup of the best hannigram fics i've read this past month! i read close to 60 fics total, and these were the cream of the crop.

as a reminder: the ingredients for a five star rating typically (but not always!!) include some combination of a.) believable characterizations of both Hannibal and Will, b.) compelling plot and/or character arcs, and c.) high quality smut.

that being said, my judgment of the aforementioned ingredients is powered almost exclusively by vibes and as such, is incredibly subjective.

and if you have any recs of your own for me, PLEASE SHARE.

(Inaugural roundup can be found here)

anyway, in no particular order, let's go!

Title: Bones of My Bones (& Flesh of My Flesh) by everyday_forever Word Count: 15,759 Summary: When Will & Hannibal reunite in Italy at last, Will doesn't fear becoming Hannibal. He knows he already is Hannibal. However, Will feels as if he's a derivative of Hannibal, made in Hannibal's image, from Hannibal's own raw material. He doesn't feel like he's Hannibal's natural equal. Will thinks the only way he can forgive Hannibal is by claiming a piece of Hannibal in return, and choosing to make it a part of himself. He has to eat him. And Hannibal is all to happy to let him.

As far as I'm concerned, this IS canon. Truly some of the best canon-compliant characterizations of them that I've read. This is absolutely what would have happened if Will hadn't tried to kill Hannibal after leaving the Uffizi Gallery. It was perfect. And so them. And obviously, mutual cannibalism. *chefs kiss*

Title: Do you feel the hunger, does it howl inside? by merrythoughts and ReallyMissCoffee Word Count: 261,929 Summary: It's been weeks since the Fall. Since Will had leaned against him, the wild scent of blood thick and cloying on the air, and had taken them from the top of the cliffs. And for every second of every day since, Hannibal has been calmly dealing with the fallout of his decision that night: Life over death. Will had intended them to die, had allowed himself a moment of weakness, of desperation. Perhaps the last act of an exhausted soul. Yet Hannibal had denied him.

I am being dead serious when I say that this fic changed my brain chemistry and managed to do something that several years of therapy had not. I wanted this to go on forever (there IS a sequel!) and did my very best to savor it instead of plowing through the entire thing in a single day. Check the author notes if you're unfamiliar with these two writers–the format took me a couple chapters to get used to, but clearly it wasn't a big deal for me.

Title: Sensational by bigfootghostdick Word Count: 39,607 Summary: Franklyn’s obsession with Hannibal Lecter truly knows no bounds. His obsession only grows worse after being fired as Dr.Lecter’s patient. Feeling slighted by Hannibal's rejection, Franklyn follows him home one evening only to stumble upon something that he never expected to see. Who’s that dark-haired man locking lips with Hannibal right outside his front door? Overcome with jealousy, Franklyn decides to seek revenge on his tenth psychiatrist. How? By selling the photos he took of them to Freddie Lounds.

Listen. I love a good jealous!Franklyn, especially when Hanni and Will firmly put him in his place. Sue me.

Title: The Stress-Sex Connection by shotgun_sinner Word Count: 48,090 Summary: When Will gets out of the BSHCI, he resumes therapy with Hannibal Lecter. His stress levels are through the roof, and Hannibal makes an offer that Will doesn't turn down. Hannibal assumes he's going to take Will to bed and make love to a fragile man, shy and delicate. Will enjoys taking Hannibal to bed, and proving him wrong. OR the story where Hannibal is shocked to find out that Will is a profiler in the streets, but a demon in the sheets.

I was sold on the last line of the summary, "Will is a profiler in the streets, but a demon in the sheets" because it actually got a good cackle out of me, and then who would have guessed! Essentially porn with feelings, but I loved.

Title: hold me, kiss me, rip out my tongue by multifandom_fanfic_writer Word Count: 18,005 Summary: Will notices things. He notices a lot of things, can’t turn it off. Some of these things are about Doctor Hannibal Lecter. He watches Hannibal watching him eat. He watches the touch on his elbow lingering, possessive. He watches Hannibal's eyes darken when Will pulls his hair and fucks his throat hard.

Okay, so I'm realizing that a lot of my five star fics this month were pretty smutty, but I make no apologies. That being said, I did find the characterizations of both Will and Hannibal to be very compelling, and it had the added bonus of Will getting to rub it in Alana's face that Hannibal chose him not her.

Title: Ligare by InfiniteCrisis Word Count: 8,280 Summary: Will's never gone down on a man before and is feeling nervous about it. His solution: tie Hannibal up first. Hannibal has no complaints.

Initially shied away from this one because Will essentially drugs Hannibal to knock him out and fuck him for the first time, but I PROMISE Hannibal knew exactly what Will was doing and allowed it. However, if that isn't your thing, this won't be for you.

THAT BEING SAID, my honest reaction after this was, "fuck fuck fuck, dom!Will might be my new favorite." Bonus points for it being the first in a series, and the rest is equally good!

Title: Oboedire, Implorare, Vovere by InfiniteCrisis Word Count: 18,715 Summary: At the end of Ligare, Hannibal said Will should "test" his willingness to submit to him. Will takes him up on that, and the results are more than either of them expected.

As I said, the rest of the series was SO GOOD. This was basically off the charts hot.

Title: To the Devil His Due (His Due is You) by everyday_forever Word Count: 26,3319 Summary: Will Graham is in the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane, courtesy of one Hannibal Lecter. And Will wants payback. He threatens Hannibal with a reckoning. And then Will has a terrible and wonderful idea- he opts to get back at Hannibal and make him jealous by pursuing a sexual relationship with Dr. Frederick Chilton. Feeling emboldened, Chilton sends the audio recordings of him and Will together to Hannibal to boast of the new development in Will's 'therapy.' Hannibal knows at once Will is the mastermind behind it all. Hannibal is most displeased with his manipulative albeit cunning boy. Chaos ensues. Will continues to manipulate both Chilton and Hannibal in order to make Hannibal jealous. Will has entered into a dance with the Devil after poking Hannibal's beast and Hannibal is eager to teach Will a lesson and remind him who he belongs to...

HEAR ME OUT. Prior to this fic, I had never considered Will/Chilton. Ever. Let alone reading a fic where most of the on paper smut is ChilWill. And yet here we are. Hannibal was just so present through it all, given that Will was only screwing Chilton to get at Hannibal (although, I liked that there was some genuine affection between Chilton and Will, it wasn't completely callous), and it just all combined to be an excellent fic. Sue me.

Title: Trope: Fake Date (Hannigram AU) by TigerPrawn Word Count: 4,207 Summary: Will's possible promotion is relying on his superiors thinking better of him. One way to do that is to take his omega to the upcoming cocktail party. Only problem is, he doesn't have one, having to rely on one sent by an agency. He wasn't quite expecting Doctor Hannibal Lecter.

Fluffy first meeting AU, nothing more nothing less. I just love seeing them happy!! (sometimes, lmao)

And that's a wrap on this month! See ya next time!!!

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sandyca5tle · 3 months

Text

Slime HRT - 24 Months

Well, these past couple months have been hell, with a light at the end of the tunnel that I’ve now reached, but still. Anyway, on with the show…

So, before I get into the really gritty stuff, my jaw and teeth were converted pretty early on, as well as my ear bones. The former were a little funky, but honestly nothing really changed there, since I already don’t need to chew things, losing my teeth was no big deal, and for the latter, there was a small blip in my hearing - for a few minutes - but then it came back, honestly better than before. I wasn’t super worried about the hearing loss, particularly after eyes taste and smell, only how long I'd be deaf for, but fortunately, as I said, it really wasn't a problem. I’m pretty sure that my slime has just replaced my inner ear’s function innately, and since hearing is just interpreted vibrations, and slime is pretty good at vibrating. What was and has been nice is the cat ears I made a few months back can now actually function, which took a little getting used to, but my hearing is super good now, if a little overwhelming at times.

Right, on to the less pleasant parts: Remember how in the last update I said that apparently you know when your brain goes, yeah, that’s true, and it’s ‘cause it’s genuinely the most painful, disorienting, and scary thing I have ever experienced. First of all, unlike a lot of other changes, it kinda just goes all at once - I think it’s a survival thing, the brain/core wouldn’t function while being half transformed, and it’d probably kill you if they tried to. Only issue is that this means that your brain basically dissolves over the course of a few hours, which is excruciating, and the weeks leading up to that absolutely suck as well.

The first thing I noticed was the pain - headaches, some of the worst I’ve ever had (which I know I’ve said a lot over the course of this, but I was fortunate before to have very little issues, and turns out transforming your whole body hurts). I tried to take some painkillers to help, but they don’t seem to work any more - not sure if it’s ‘cause my biology is so different now, or ‘cause my body breaks them down too well, but either way they don’t work, so I had to suffer through the pain.

Either on top of or because of the pain, I've had a general sense of disorientation. It started off as just sometimes getting a little turned around in games and the like, but it progressed to getting lost if I tried to go anywhere (which was compounded by some other stuff too). Frankly it's a good thing in the final days before my brain changed that I hurt too much to go anywhere, else I probably would have ended up somewhere entirely unknown at a really vulnerable stage in my transformation.

I also have had some memory issues while things have worked things out. My memory has never been amazing in the first place, but I started to get very forgetful, forgetting appointments, plans, even eating (I'd usually ‘remember’ when I started idly eating random things I had around, which has meant I've lost a few things, but I don't remember what so I'm keep finding things I need to replace). I’m also pretty sure I lost some older memories too, but it’s really hard to tell if that’s from normal forgetting or forgetting ‘cause my brain was becoming mush, it’s kinda scary not knowing. This is also part of what compounded my disorientation - when telling left from right is getting hard, forgetting where you're even meant to go or have come from only makes things worse. Also, try reforming yourself from a puddle when you barely remember what you were before… definitely had some interesting shapes recently. Honestly, it was terrifying, I actually didn't know if I'd ever be able to remember things again (obviously I can, but I didn't know that at the time, and my memory of that period are sketchy at best)

Of course, the pain I mentioned earlier made it hard to focus on things, but even beyond that my ability to focus seemed to vanish. I have been so easily distracted over the past couple of months. Genuinely a glint of light or something could completely draw my attention from whatever I was doing, and then I'd usually completely forget what I was doing, get distracted by something else and wonder off. I apparently walked off in the middle of so many games and videos and just any activity I was doing. Frankly it's a miracle that I have any notes, or remember enough to actually write this entry, I kinda spent most of this last month piecing together what I do remember and have notes of (the notes are not the most legible, worse than my normal handwriting which is awful anyways (there's a reason I type these updates)).

On top of all this, I also had nightmares and hallucinations. The former sucked, but honestly asides from waking up in some weird shapes in attempts to either fight or defend myself from whatever was jumping me in the nightmare (assuming it was a monster one) they were over once I woke up. The hallucinations were worse, since they could appear at any time, and oh boy do they seem real. Sometimes they were small things, noises, or a shape in my periphery. Other times they were blurry, intimidating figures in the distance. And of course with my inability to focus on things, these hallucinations would only be another thing to distract my addled brain. The worst though, was waking up from a nightmare, a puddle unable to reform, and the nightmare continuing as a hallucination in the real world. That'd usually shake me up for a day - and annoyingly my memory issues didn't really seem to extend to them. I'm still working out what was real and fake from that time, and it has not been easy, or fun. My ‘brain’ feels like goddamn soup whenever I think about that time.

On top of everything else, sometimes I'd faint. Sometimes due to pain, other times (particularly towards the end of the transformation) I'd just keel over, only to wake up in a puddle of myself. It was really disconcerting and scary… kinda felt like my brain was just cutting out, and I was a little scared it might not cut back in at some point… and of course that’s one of the things I remember clearly, the fear and worry of that - very clear that the ‘remember bad shit’ survival instinct was and still is functioning, as annoying as that is.

Since I don't particularly want to linger on those thoughts more than I already have, an interesting thing to note is that even through all of this, my actual mental faculties didn't diminish - while I was forgetful and distracted, if I managed to make myself, I found myself just as capable as before. I partially did this to help assure myself I wasn't losing myself, but also because, let's be honest, slimes aren't known for being the brightest bunch, and I've been a little worried this whole time that I'd get dumber or something. The pamphlet I was given didn't really say anything about this happening, but I know from trans hrt that the information your given doesn't always include every possible effect (I know it certainly failed to mention the attention issues during the most recent stage, and the blindness from before)

But, despite last month being basically the worst month of my life, I have survived, albeit a little scrambled, and I'm slowly putting everything back together. And of course, now, there's nothing human left in me! I'm all slime!!! (It makes me so unbelievably happy to be able to say that now).

Interestingly, unlike everything else, my brain hasn't fully gone, instead I ended up with what I quickly realised is a slime core! For those unfamiliar, slimes can have a core, which is essentially like their brain/major organ inside them, usually looking like a small coloured sphere. While slimes are usually pretty hard to damage permanently, damage done to a slimes core can be very debilitating, like heart, brain, or lung damage for humans and stuff.

I actually think I had a kind of proto-core before hand, but didn't notice it, and I think it came around about when my digestive system was changed, since I think my core manages matter-to-slime conversion (I'm guessing this ‘cause that's improved since my core has now fully formed). I guess I didn’t spy it before ‘cause it was too small or something?

On that note, my core is/looks like, interestingly, a kind of verdant green gem. It mostly just seems to float inside of my goo, although I can move it around my body wherever I like, but I tend to keep it either right in the middle of my torso, or in the middle of my chest (at least in human form). Both areas have a decent amount of goo protecting my core, and it looks neat to have it there.

It does actually look really pretty, especially when taken outside of my body (don't worry, it can be taken out of my body, so long as it remains in contact with my goo I'm completely fine), and yeah, just kinda looks like a funky green stone/gem. I am curious as to why it's green, and I'm kinda hoping it's gonna boost the efficiency of my photosynthesis, and that it's green ‘cause of chlorophyll, but I don't honestly know yet, need some nice sunny days to properly test it out.

I did find out that if my core does become separated from my goo, I can just reform another body from stored goo around the core, leaving the old body to fall (but I can just reabsorb it afterwards to maintain mass). Oh, and before anyone worries that I was being reckless, I made sure to check that I wouldn't die before I tested anything.

On the note of stored goo, it seems like excess goo/matter is stored in the core, like fat in humans. I'm not sure what or if there's a limit or what happens if I try to eat too much, but as far as I've gotten for now, it seems to be fine. I have noticed that I actually seem lighter now, I still seem to weigh about as much as I look like I should (maybe slightly over) and as such it changes if I make myself grow bigger, but not really if I eat things. I'm not entirely sure quite what's going on there, as that seems like some physics defying shit, but it's actually super useful, means I can store as much mass as I'd like and not break the sofa when I sit down.

So asides from all of those experiences and changes, I've found a couple other things that have sprung up from these changes. Firstly, I've found that my body feels much more coherent, I'm very much now one gelatinous entity, rather than bits of one and bits of another. Movement feels much more fluid now, especially outside of a humanoid form (not that I've gotten worse at being humanoid, just better at everything else) and I honestly find myself kind of hot swapping between slime ball and slime girl as I need/feel like it. Also navigating crowds is super easy now, just kinda slipping and moving between any gaps (I could kinda do this before, but again, now it feels so second nature). On top of this, my multitasking seems to have improved. I still can’t say one thing while writing another, but I've gotten better at physical multitasking; I struggle less coordinating my ‘hands’ when I try playing the piano for example (I still can't play it, but I've got more of the coordination for it). Add in that I can very easily have several limbs/pseudopods/whatever you want to call them at once (which is honestly why I think my multitasking has improved, it's to facilitate control of the numerous structures I can now produce) and it’s become very easy to manage multiple, physical, tasks at once.

One thing I have noticed myself doing, almost subconsciously (and honestly, this might've started a little before now, but I'll talk about it here, since I've really noticed it now), I'll just adjust my body however I need in the moment. Now, this may sound kind of obvious, but it's a little funky (but mostly neat) to just suddenly grow an extra limb, or pseudopod to hold or grab something quickly, or to just adjust my mass to better balance or manage something. Again, very neat, but a little funky to realise when I didn't consciously think about it.

Relatedly, shaping has become easier, not sure if that's due to practise, or having a more compatible neurological centre, but I seem to be able to shape myself quicker, and I seem to have gained a better memory for shape too, the latter is definitely due to recent changes, or at least, definitely due to the treatment.

I've also still been working on my acid control, which feels like it's gotten easier, but again I can't say whether that's from practice or the recent changes, but I can at least somewhat reliably keep an area of my body acid free now for a bit.

Unrelated to the treatment, but I'm actually much shorter now, at least in my humanoid form, clocking in at around 4’4”(slime ball form has remained the same size, at around 30cm tall). I always liked the idea of being really small, and I can now, and it's not like it really offers any disadvantages, since I can just reach tendrils up to grab things from high up (with eyes/vision so I can see what I'm doing), plus it means I have more spare slime to spend on other, more fun things than just being tall. This all being said, the idea of using all my slime to become really big also has its appeals, but it's less practical for day to day life.

To touch on one final thing, I definitely don't feel human anymore. I'm a slime, through and through, humanity is just a memory. I've mentioned before feeling more and more detached from humanity (if I ever felt truly attached) as this process has gone on, but now that I'm seemingly done, I don't feel human at all. Interestingly, I find this aspect has been remarkably similar to gender transition, with the feeling of being a guy slowly fading away until it seemed alien to think of myself as one, which kinda feels like where I'm at at the moment. I'll likely catch myself still including myself in humanity from time to time for a while, but I can safely say I'm a slime, and I am so happy I can now. So that’s what my life has been for the last couple of months, and while parts sucked - like, really sucked - the end result is so unbelievably worth it. While this feels like the end of slime hrt, I do have an appointment planned with the doc to talk about my next step and hopefully get myself onto shapeshifter hrt, so my next update will probably be about that. See y’all then!

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@calliecwrites, @friedsputnik, @now-entering-the-goop-zone, @scrubbinn, @lilacinthefog

@mint-and-authoress, @losttodreams, @redroversendjayover, @ariathelamia, @kanithedemoncat

#slime hrt #slime girl #non-human hrt #species hrt #therian hrt #otherkin hrt #humanity replacement therapy #transgender #my writing

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