#3 eyed crow

[artypurrs]

Art by the amazing artist @deyonside of lord bloodraven brynden rivers thank you so much 🫂

[kuorena]

"What are you doing to me?" he asked the crow, tearful. Teaching you how to fly. "I can't fly!" You're flying right now. "I'm falling!" 

Every flight begins with a fall, the crow said. Look down.

for @maniacpixiedreamgirl <3

[the-crow-cryptids-domain]

I've only just finished the Goblin camp quest on my Dragonbloodline Sorcerer Astarion Origin run the other day and starting a Romance with Gale, and already tempted to start ANOTHER Astarion Origin run where I romance Wyll...

Maybe I should finally look into mods... especially ones that remove the limits on companion romances...

[grimmjowjaegerjaquez]

crew for the pirate game opopopopo

[canonically-a-genloser]

heheho

hwehbehehe

[zorosdimples]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?

pairing ༄ zoro x gn!reader

warnings ༄ none! this is the fluffiest of fluff—a bit out of my comfort zone, but it’s good to push your limits (so i’ve been told). you might get a bit of whiplash if you read my previous drabble lol.

word count ༄ 1452

notes ༄ i’m not joking when i say i wrote most of this over a year ago. idk how tending to injuries actually works, but this is the one piece universe, so suspend your belief! i just love the quiet intimacy of caring for someone else, especially when it’s hands on… this is kinda cheesy but i think it’s cute; it’s something of a love letter to one of my faves <3

you climbed up the ladder and opened the hatch, putting your kit down before pulling yourself up into the crow’s nest. labored breaths filled the air, the swordman’s bare back glistening with sweat, his calloused hands balancing an impossibly large weight. you scanned the room, locking in on the bloody bandages piled in the trash can.

sighing, you picked up your kit and padded over to sit on the ground in front of zoro. he didn’t acknowledge your presence—not that you expected him to, as absorbed as he was with his training—and you unpacked your kit, pulling out the necessary supplies. once you finished, you silently watched him continue his exercises, wincing at the way his fresh wounds strained against his movements. you tried to ignore how impressive his rippling muscles looked as they shimmered from exertion.

by the time he put the weight down he guzzled some water and glanced over at you. “what’s all that for?” he asked flatly, gesturing toward your setup. he wiped the water that had dribbled down his chin with the back of his hand, oblivious to the way your eyes heatedly tracked the droplets that fell from his lips to his heaving chest.

you patted the floor in front of you with a smile. “come, sit.”

he eyed you for a moment, seeming to weigh his options, but ultimately complied. he walked over and sat crisscrossed facing you, folding his arms. his steely visage didn’t betray his thoughts.

“no one else bothers me this much,” he grumbled, gaze flickering over to meet yours before returning to your busy hands.

you hoped he didn’t catch the way your fingers trembled when he spoke. “well,” you said, clearing your throat, “someone has to keep an eye on you. also, chopper is afraid to come up here and incur your wrath,” you added, half-jokingly.

zoro snorted in response, a small smile on his lips. “so, you’re the doctor’s assistant now?”

you shook your head with a chuckle. “scooch a little closer,” you said, turning to pick up a towel then shifting your weight so you were propped up on your knees. he obeyed with a grunt. you raised your head to assess his wounds, inhaling sharply when you saw the damage up close. his eye was closed, a slight scowl gracing his features.

“anything wrong?” zoro asked, eye still shut. you sighed in response, dipping the towel in a bowl of water before raising it to wipe the sweat off his face and chest.

one of the sunbeams that filtered through the windows sliced across his angular face, a glowing gash that highlighted his long green lashes and a light smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose—something you had never noticed before since they blended in with his tanned skin.

you cleaned up the sweat, careful to dab zoro’s wounds lightly. mostly superficial cuts and scrapes littered his face, although he did have a nasty gash at his hairline. you brushed back his mint green locks to get a better look at the damage; your fingertips burned hot against his scalp, and you could’ve sworn he shivered at your touch.

maybe it was your imagination.

ignoring the way your heart constricted, you moved the towel down his neck and arms toward his chest. you didn’t miss the freckles and moles that ghosted his collarbone and kissed his shoulders. absorbed in your ministrations, you missed the swordsman’s cracked eye intently watching your hands move down his body, heat nipping at the tips of his ears.

it was difficult to keep your breath steady as you wiped the expanse of his tawny torso, muscles firm underneath your featherlight touches. and while his back didn’t have any major injuries, you were sure to clean it, too. satisfied that you mopped up all the sweat, you took a clean cloth and retraced your movements to dry his skin.

“you need to be more careful,” you said, breaking the heady silence. your voice came out softer than you had anticipated, your nerves getting the better of you. you raised your eyes to meet zoro’s, now open. “your body will eventually give out if you don’t allow it to heal.”

“i don’t have time to heal,” he said simply. “each day brings new enemies even stronger than the last. i can’t stop if i wanna protect my captain and crewmates.”

the weight of his steely gaze forced yours to bow in supplication. his eye held no harshness, but rather resolution. guilt prickled your confidence; zoro was constantly throwing his life on the line for luffy and the crew’s sake—who were you to chastise him?

“we all worry about you,” you murmured, putting the cloth down. you would thank him, but you know he would simply brush it off as his duty, as nothing noteworthy.

you grabbed a pair of gloves and pulled them on your hands. opening a jar of salve that chopper had made specifically for zoro’s injuries, you scooped some out and met his grey eye. “this is a new treatment that chopper created using plants native to the birdie kingdom. he wanted me to tell you that while it’s effective at healing wounds quickly, it has an unpleasant sting.”

“nothin’ i can’t handle,” he smirked.

you couldn’t help but roll your eyes with a huff. “well, consider yourself warned.” with that, you moved to treat his head wound first. as you pushed his hair back and dabbed the balm on his gash, zoro jerked away from you with a hiss.

your eyes widened in surprise, a litany of apologies rushing from your lips. he held up a large hand to stop your rambling. “’m fine,” he said through gritted teeth, sounding decidedly less-than-fine. “just stings a little, s’all.”

you bit your tongue and hummed in response. throwing out an “i told you so” would be rude, although the mirth that sparkled in your eyes wasn’t lost on the swordsman. once he resituated himself, you returned your attention to treating the wound. without thinking, you rested one of your hands on his shoulder, steadying both of you.

zoro’s body shook as he willed himself to remain quiet despite the pain that seared his skin. he hadn’t thought his wounds were bad until that salve had touched him. his mind wandered back to the present, and he went rigid when he felt the soft hand that had settled on his shoulder. he tried not to panic when he realized how close you were to him, the cute way you knit your brows in concentration, your bottom lip trapped between your teeth.

“there we go,” you said with a proud smile.

you began to lift your hand from zoro’s shoulder, but his arm shot up and he gripped your wrist before you could pull away. frozen in place, you looked back and forth between zoro’s hold and the intense look on his face. the air in the room felt oppressive.

what did i do wrong? did i hurt zoro? is he mad? negative thoughts breezed in and out of your head before his gravelly voice cut off your self-doubt.

“what,” he breathed, “are you doing to me?”

“huh?” your brain couldn’t register the meaning behind his words. “i told you, zoro, i’m just trying to help and—”

he shook his head, knowing he would screw up if he tried to explain himself in words. instead, he slowly peeled the glove—now sticky with salve—off of your hand and tossed it into the trash. he then guided your palm and pressed it against his bare chest, his rough hand wholly encompassing your own. his pleading eye never left yours, and you looked at him in wonder as you felt his heart thump thump thump thump beneath your fingertips.

suddenly, you became aware of how close you were to him. you still knelt in front of the swordsman, your knees flush to his crossed legs. it was like your body turned to wax as you warmed then slowly melted into zoro’s fiery touch, your fingernails carving red crescents into his shoulder and your hand still clutched firmly to his chest. you swallowed, heart in your throat, as he wet his lips.

“i—” he began then abruptly stopped with a wry chuckle, dimples on display for a split second. your gaze slipped down to his lips then went back up to his silvery eye.

you were both silent for a few beats, when you tried, “zoro, i—”

you were interrupted by zoro’s scarred hands coming up to cradle your face before he slowly began to lean toward you. a hopeless moth to his flame, you met his chapped lips in the middle for a blistering kiss.

[forlorn-crows]

Crow my love will you pretty please tell me all about how Rain fucks Swiss' mouth the night Swiss kneels for him on stage? <3

i cant stop thinking about it. swiss was made to kneel for rain, i think. made to let rain tower over him and fuck his face 'til he's dazed and bleary-eyed. but he's gotta be smug about it too, right?

in a crazy turn of events, rain is cis for once. i know, i can't believe it either. crow writing rain with dick and balls? unheard of. and yet, here we are. mainly bc i am unwell about the idea of rain having a knot.

anyway. woe facefucking w/tiny mention of oral knotting be upon ye. this ones also for @askingforthesun >:)

EDIT: now w/a companion art piece by the wonderful @floating-goblin-art❤️

“Just like that,” Rain groans, pulling Swiss closer by the hair until his nose nudges the little nest of curls at the base of his cock. “Yeah, take it all.”

Swiss hums around him, sending a shiver up his spine. Still smirking despite a mouthful of cock and water ghoul slick coating his throat. 

It’s unfair, really. But it turns Rain on like no other. Confidence and desire cutting him deep through that hazel-eyed gaze. Swiss’ throat milking him for all he’s got while he grabs at Rain’s perky ass. And the noises. Lucifer, the noises he makes, all of them rumbling through his core. Straight-up sinful.

Rain loves every minute that Swiss spends kneeling for him.

“Bet you hmpf wanted to do this on stage. Get my cock out for all those people. Show them how feral you can really be, huh?” Swiss’ eyes flutter when Rain grips his locs tighter, but he holds steady. Humming an affirmative and muffled uh huh while tonguing along the underside of his length. Pushing his lips flush to his groin and swallowing hard.

Rain swears and tosses his head back, knees going a little weak. “Lucifer, your mouth . . .” 

Swiss pulls off with a pop, wiping the drool from his chin and stroking him with a coy look. Fangs out and far too handsome for his own good.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you, you dirty voyeur.” He gives a lick to Rain’s dripping tip, flat over the slit like he’s tasting a popsicle. And again, squeezing from base to tip so milky-white pre dribbles onto his tongue. Rain’s eyes roll back against his will, tingling right down to his toes at the sight of his own slick pooling in Swiss’ mouth. 

The multi ghoul swallows, licking his lips. “You’re so easy, rainbow,” he chides. “Get’cha wobbly over a few strokes.”

“Shut up,” Rain bites back. But it's a token protest, given how his fingers start loosening their grip on Swiss’ locs the longer he pumps his fist. 

He snorts. “You like my dirty mouth,” he says, pitching his voice lower on purpose so Rain’s stomach will swoop. “Just as good talking as it is taking, isn’t it?”

He shakes his head, biting back a groan. He regains the grip on his hair and takes a step forward, caging in Swiss’ body between and under his legs, looming over him just enough that he has to put a hand behind him for balance. Rain’s tail snaps behind him, eyes darkening as he brings his gaze back down. Cool and calculating. Swiss challenges it, of course, grinning as he strokes his cock over the long column of his throat.

“Put it back in,” the water ghoul hisses. Control seeping back into his voice, that commanding tone Swiss loves so much. Rain bats his hand away and replaces it with his own, cupping the multi’s chin with the other. Digging his thumb into the side of his jaw until he relents, opening wide and letting his tongue loll out. Ready and waiting to be fed.

“That’s better,” he lilts. “And you say I’m easy.” Rain doesn’t give him space to reply, immediately rubbing the dusky lilac head of his cock over the flat of his tongue, letting his taste buds push the foreskin back and forth a little before sinking back in.  

Swiss gags like he does every time his cock pushes past the back of his throat, muscles trying to force Rain out despite the eager way he takes him down. But he likes the tension, the resistance. Leans into it as he thrusts all the way down to the base with a satisfied sigh. 

Rain looks down his nose at him. Cocking his head when Swiss makes the smallest of noises. “Do you want me to really use you, pretty boy?” he asks, voice sharp and equally as saccharine. “Make you take it until you can’t anymore?”

The multi ghoul’s eyebrows dart up in the middle as a visible wave of arousal runs down his spine. A puff of air rushing out of his nose and color rising to his cheeks. He’s weak for this, and Rain knows it—abuses the fact, really, when it’s time to get his way. 

Swiss is a big ghoul, though; he can take it, masochist that he is. So he hums a sound that means yes, nodding as much as he can with Rain holding his face steady. 

He knows Swiss is hard in his pants without even looking. 

“Good,” he purrs, brushing a stray tear off of his cheek. A bit of softness before he starts thrusting in earnest, aiming to fuck his throat raw. Get his balls slapping against his chin and coated in Swiss’ desperate drool. Inch by wet inch, over and over until Swiss really gives in.

When Rain’s knot inevitably swells some time later, he tells him, reedy, wounded, and oh so desperate, to take it. Not fucking stopping. That’s it—squeeze it. Can’t stop. Lucifer, take it, you have to—all of it, Swiss, all of it.

[tqavaaas]

𐙚˙✧˖°📷 ༘ ⋆｡ ˚ .ᐟ [THE STRONGEST]

༊*·˚ ୧ ‧₊˚ ☾ ༘

·.𐙚 ༉‧ 五条 悟

𝖲𝖴𝖬𝖬𝖠𝖱𝖸 ┊ 𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘮 𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘨𝘰𝘫𝘰

𝖶𝖠𝖱𝖭𝖨𝖭𝖦𝖲 ┊ 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘢 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘵, 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧 & 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵

𝖯𝖠𝖨𝖱𝖨𝖭𝖦𝖲 ┊ 𝘎𝘰𝘫𝘰 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

BLOGS WHO DO NOT ALLOW MINORS TO INTERACT ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LIKE MY POSTS.

#1 ::

You were a 3rd year teacher at Toyko Jujutsu high. Recently, two of your students had been suspended; gojo couldn’t miss that opportunity.

“Nice going, [name]” he mocked in a sarcastic tone, a toothy grin rested on his face—sitting on your desk making all sorts of expressions.

“I’d rather have my students suspended than executed.” You retorted with a hum, deciding to take a seat next to your boyfriend. Gojo was quick to take your hand in his.

“Itadori is loads of fun!” He mumbled; A soft chuckle escaped your lips as you held his hand.

#2 ::

You were out with gojo and the first years: Megumi, Nobara, and Itadori.

Nobara, itadori and gojo were all admiring something—you had no idea what is was. While you and megumi were seated on a bench nearby.

“How can you handle Gojo?” Megumi asked in a monotone, his expression was filled with boredom as he checked his phone several times. “I can hardly see someone as calm as you with someone as.. chaotic as gojo.” He added with a frown.

“I’ve known him since we were first years, I guess I just learned how to calm him down over time.” You said with a smile, leaning back on the bench.

“You should teach me th-“ megumi spoke, but was quickly cut off by gojos loud scream of your name.

“babe, I just found this stand with really good kikufuku, try some!” He said, handing you a piece as he happily munched on his own piece.

#3 ::

Megumi was practicing on a field in the outskirts of the city, you were watching him and giving him some pointers.

“Were you about to summon mahoraga?” You said, brows furrowing, glancing at the way his hands are positioned.

“possibly.” Megumi said, a slightly rasp voice as his hands were now in his pockets. You chuckled at his words. But the warming scene had shifted when a loud thud caught you off guard.

“Volcano head?” Megumi said confused, you shook your head.

“No, this one seems stronger than that one.” You responded, your stance quickly changed into a battle stance. “Megumi, go get help.” You ordered, he didn’t bother responding and quickly went off.

“I’ve seen you around with gojo before.” The cursed spirit said, eying your every move. “I guess you could be my one way ticket to gojo.”

The cursed spirit had an incredible amount of cursed energy, it was Atleast 13 of sukunas fingers. And you were only about 8. You sighed as you knew you were going to loose, it was just a matter of how long you could hold up.

you held up decently, it had been around 15 minutes. Sure you were badly injured, but it wasn’t something shoko couldn’t heal.

“Gojo satoru, if you don’t show up right now. I will kill this girl.” It said, you were still able to put on a good fight for around another 10 minutes. Or that’s what you thought.

Before the finishing blow was able to reach you, gojos voice filled the air.

“You can’t go around killing people that mean a lot to me.”

#4 :: MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD

he said he was the strongest, everyone knew he was the strongest. It might’ve just been in the modern era, but they all knew he would win.

but there he was, being broadcasted from Mei Mei’s crows, half of his body lying on the ground. It had a soft smile plastered on his face. Sukuna momentarily praised him.

your eyes were widened—filled to the brim with tears. hands covering your agape mouth. Itadori’s hand rested on your shoulder in an attempting way to comfort you.

“I will win” what a liar. If he said he’d win, why was he lying dead on the ground. You refused to believe he was gone. The same energetic, confident guy. Tears started streaming down your face, but you were angry at him, it wasn’t Gojo’s fault, everyone knew it.

but he wished you knew how you were the last person in his mind, before he died alongside megumi.

[inuiiwonderland]

Twisted Captivity

Prologue

A/n: im so excited for this story and I can’t wait to write the first chapter! I tried to make the prologue look as interesting as possible but I think I failed💀😭

-

“What’s this?” You asked your father as you stared at the paper in front of you curiously.

“Read it” You eyed him suspiciously before grabbing the paper in front of you and reading it.

Twisted raven

“Um…and what does this have to do with me?” Your father rolls his eyes before setting his cup of coffee down.

“A dear friend of mine owns that aquarium. Recently he told me about how a couple of his workers quit for some unknown reason and how he has to do extra work now” He says as he walks back to refill his cup.

“And so I told him that you might be interested in the job”

“You told him what?!” You ask. It’s not that you don’t want the job, you’re just confused and shocked about how your dad made you accept something without you knowing about it first.

“Let me finish” You huff before sitting back down.

“I told him that you wouldn’t mind since I know how much you love those little sea creatures”

“Not only sea creatures, but the whole ocean itself!”

“See what I mean” You rolled your eyes as you felt your face heat up.

“Anyways, this would be great for your little sea creature diary”

“Once again it’s my research journal dad”

“Same thing” You rest your head on the table as you continued scrolling through your phone.

“This job is perfect for you dear”

“Not only will you do something that you enjoy, the pay is also really good” He says as he walks over to the sink to throw his dirty cup in.

“Well that’s all I wanted to tell you! Thank you so much for letting me come over dear”

“You sound like I don’t allow you in my house”

“Because you don’t!” You chuckle before getting up and giving your dad a hug.

“Bye! Tell mom I said hi and that you guys should come over for dinner when you’re free”

“Of course! Now please do think about it! I can’t stand him whining any longer” He says as he rubs his temple.

“I will. Thanks dad”

-

“Ah! You must be y/n right?” You nod your head as the man with the crow mask shakes your hand.

“Oh I’m so glad you came! I was getting worried for a second thinking you might’ve changed your mind!”

“And then I would’ve have to take care of those ungrateful brats!” You just stood there awkwardly as he whispered to himself.

This is my new boss?

“Oh! How rude of me! My name is Crowley! I am the founder and owner of twisted raven!”

“It’s a pleasure meeting you Mr. Crowley”

“Pleasure meeting you to Ms. L/n! But you can just call me Crowley! No need for the formalities”

“Ah okay”

“Now follow me!” The man quickly turns around before walking away. You quickly follow suit.

“Your father told me you’re a researcher”

“Ah yes something like that”

“Great! Then I think you will definitely like it here! Perfect for the job already”

“What was that?”

“Nothing!”

Weird…he sure likes to mumble things

“All the sea animals and creatures we have here are very different from one another! Some may be aggressive while others are not. Some poisonous and some not! So do be careful when you handle them”

“We can’t have any more accidents”

“What was that last part?”

“Nothing important”

“Oh okay”

“Anyways! I would like for you to be in charge of feeding them and cleaning their tanks! I would also like it if you could write down anything that happens between you and the mers”

“We’ve been wanting to get more information about them but they’re just not cooperating with us!”

Your brows furrowed at that

What does he mean by mers?

“You will be in charge of group 3 while some of my other workers will take care of group 1 and 2”

You frown

Group 3? What does that even mean?

“Um…Mr- I mean Crowley…what do you mean by group 3?” He halts before turning around.

“What?”

You both stared at each other in confusion.

“Did your father not tell you?”

“Tell me what?” You asked. Now you were confused but also curious.

“What did your father tell you exactly y/n?”

“Erm- that you need workers and that this is an Aquarium?” You can see his eye twitch as he still had on that cheerful smile on his face.

“Oh”

“Did I say something wrong?”

“No no no….its just that-”

“This isn’t an aquarium”

“It’s a research facility”

“A what now?”

“Research Facility!”

“Oh”

“And I suppose he also didn’t tell you about the beautiful creatures we have here in this facility, correct?”

“Um…no?”

“Great! More work for me”

“Mm?”

“Nothing! Ah just follow me! I’ll show you what you will have to do!” You did as he says as you guys continued walking down the long hall.

This will be a long day

For both you and him

-

Taglist: @ruisann @roseapov @0ffth3rec0rd @anunholyabomination

[shenachigans]

THRICE THE SPICE | Inazuma’s Big 3

PAIRING: CEO!Yae, CEO!Ei, Co-worker!Sara x Fem!Office worker!Reader

CW: smut, foursome, fingering, brief cunnilingus, overstimulation, squirting, the women are smitten with Y/n and kinda fight over her, slight dirty talk and possessiveness, teasing, nickname use (bunny), double penetration (fingers), messy plot, bottom female afab reader

SUMMARY: Taking three women who are hungry for you at once is a good and bad idea

A/N: It's my first time writing a foursome huhu. Y/n calls Ei "Ms. Raiden" for formality since they're on a last-name basis during work, but I'm not sure if "Raiden" can be counted as Ei's last name (Let's just pretend it is). Sakura is an OC.

WORDS: 4,500

(FANFIC IS UNDER THE CUT!)

A company requires a lot of work. Documents are here, meetings are there, and people are all over the place. Being the team leader of a significant project has left you restless, exhausted, stressed, and undernourished.

You were the team member with the most responsibilities, so you had to rush deadlines, review your teammates' work, and submit it for processing. Hence, you didn't have time to relax and enjoy a fancy alcoholic beverage. But there is always a reward at the end of work and suffering.

The CEO of your company just announced the project's success. Your blood, sweat, and tears have paid off. Archons. You want to return home and enjoy a day of rest to celebrate.

"We should all go to the bar after work to celebrate!" One of your coworkers said. Their joy at the success made you proudly smile because they deserved a break after the nonstop workload.

"Team leader Y/n is the guest of honor!" Itto, another of your coworkers, exclaimed. All eyes turned to you, expecting your approval to join the celebration.

"Ah... I can't drink tonight," you said, slightly embarrassed.

You can drink, but you lied. However, it was merely a white lie because you can't trust yourself to know how much alcohol you can consume without becoming a chaotic drunk. When you're not sober, you're not usually calm, collected, or innocent-looking...

Some accidents happened in the past, and you're too embarrassed to make the same mistake.

Sakura then walked over to you, pouting, and grabbed your hands while saying, "But N/n! There is no point in celebrating if the person who led the project is not present! A little alcohol won't hurt, either, right? You can still enjoy a nonalcoholic beverage even if you don't want to drink. Just join in the celebration with us, please!"

Everyone agreed with her statement, and their action made you feel appreciated. You don't talk to them much outside of work, but they enjoy your presence. They're throwing a party with you as the special guest to show their appreciation for your hard work. How can you refuse now?

Your eyes turned into crescents as you smiled, everyone flushed, and you giggled, blessing them with your melodic voice, "Oh, alright, how can I refuse such an invitation when all of you look at me like that?"

Sakura tightly embraced you while musing, "Y/n is so adorable!"

She's a tiny woman, but her hugs are unbearably tight, not that you mind them.

"Then it's settled, everyone in the team is going to the xxx pub after work, and the bill is all on Ei. What do you guys think?" The figure coming through the door, revealing themselves as Yae Miko, the CEO of the Kitsune Corp and a close friend of your company's CEO, Raiden Ei, elegantly boomed.

She's always in the company when she has free time or when the two companies have a deal, which happens quite frequently because the two companies greatly benefit from each other.

Sara then entered the room carrying two mugs of coffee and handed one to you before turning to face Miko. "What brings you here, Ms. Yae?" she inquired, somewhat unimpressed.

"My, my, Ms. Kujou, you speak as if I'm not welcome here," Miko flaunted, drawing a glare from Sara. The atmosphere was tense, and no one dared to break the tension. They're like a crow and fox competing for something or someone.

"Haha... Now, ladies, if you two keep the tension this high, it's going to get hot as a furnace," you chuckled awkwardly, drawing both of the women's attention to you. Their gazes were belittling. "Is Ms. Raiden attending the after-party, Ms. Yae? Are you also coming?"

"Of course, little lamb, I wouldn't miss seeing your cute little drunk antics for the world, and I'm sure Ei and everyone here feel the same," she teased, making a blush crawl up your cheeks.

Everyone cooed at your flushed state. Even though you are a tough nut to crack, you give in easily to women like Miko. Everyone, especially your boss Ei, knows that she enjoys teasing you.

However, no one notices how Ei's mood changes when you react to Miko's teasing — nobody besides the fox herself.

"How cute," Miko whispered, only for you to hear because you were close enough. Your cheeks flushed at her remark. "It's wonderful to see everyone pleased after the project's success. Your leader did a terrific job guiding this team," she mused before widening her eyes upon realizing something. "If you'll excuse me, I'm rather late for my meeting," she chuckled as she left the room with a sly grin directed at you while everyone said goodbye and expressed their gratitude.

"Oh, boy, oh boy! Y/n was practically trembling under Ms. Yae's gaze! How'd you do it? She's smitten with you!" Itto laughed as he patted your back—no, smacked the life out of you. He flashed a sly look that made you want to die of embarrassment and curl up into a ball.

"Oh, shut up, Itto! I at least don't swoon over women the way you do!" You teasingly chuckled back at him, making him blush embarrassingly.

Sara shook her head with a light smile while the rest laughed at both of your antics. She then sipped her coffee once more before putting it down and clapping her hands to get everyone's attention.

"Okay, people, if you want to celebrate later, we have some work to do first," she sighed. Everyone sulked and went to their desks to finish their work, leaving you and Sara alone in the conference room. Sara began, taking another sip of her coffee, "Congratulations on the success, Y/n."

"Caffeine will kill you someday," you chuckled as you drank your last drop of coffee. "And thank you, none of this would have been possible without the team's dedication," you smiled as you placed the mug on the table.

"Don't act as though you didn't consume eight mugs of strong coffee during your overtime the previous night, Y/n," Sara sneered, and you awkwardly chuckled.

"W-What do you mean...? Haha... You dummy, that was water, not coffee," you fumbled before snatching her mug and drinking from it.

"Hm... So if I fucked you dumb, wouldn't we be considered equal?" she bluntly remarked, as if she hadn't said something vulgar. She smirked as you choked on her coffee. "No wonder Yae Miko likes to tease you," she remarked, patting your back to help you breathe. "Your reactions are a sight to behold, and it's more fun when I make you flush," she added.

"S-SARA! H-How can you say something like that so casually?!" You flushed, covering your hot face with your hands to conceal your flustered face.

"Oh? Why are you so agitated? I was merely teasing you. Unless..." Sara started as she slowly walked towards you and trapped you against the conference table. "Unless you do want to get fucked dumb?" she softly spoke in your ear, her voice so enticing that you whimpered.

"Not here..." you squeaked and turned your head away from her menacing eyes.

Do you not realize how fuckable you look right now?

Sara grinned and leaned towards your neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses on your skin. She was gentle at first, but she soon became rougher. She was stronger than you, so no matter how hard you tried to push her away, there would be no avail.

You were sure Sara would leave a mark on your flesh after she licked, sucked, and bit it. Sara immediately drew back as she heard the hushed whispers of people in the corridor, a ribbon of saliva joining the skin of your neck and her tongue.

It must be break time.

"Count yourself lucky, bunny. I would've gone further if we weren't at work," Sara smirked as she looked at your heaving, flushed mess. She then collected both empty coffee mugs and continued, "You sound melodious. Those charming whines and whimpers are adorable. What more when you scream my name in bed, hm~?"

She abruptly left the room, leaving an embarrassed and intensely horny Y/n.

─────

"Fuah! It's exhausting to sit all day staring at documents!" Sakura finally stood up from her seated position, groaning as she stretched.

"That's because you're supposed to get up and walk around during your breaks, not sit all day and grumble about how long the day is," Itto grumbled as he passed her desk.

"Touché... Ha, ha..." Sakura embarrassingly flushed. "Anyway, work is done. Let's party!" She rejoiced, raising her arms in the air, causing Itto to cheer and join in the celebration.

"Can you two please quiet down? You guys can rejoice all you want in the pub, but keep in mind that there are people working overtime today," you boomed, all worn out, approaching them with a limp.

Why are you walking that way?

Sara did fuck you in her office during your breaks, and because you had many breaks throughout the day, you orgasmed at least five times.

"Oh, dear, Y/n! Are you okay?!" Sakura exclaimed as she noticed your limping and sweating condition. Itto also sped over to your side to assist you in standing. Shit. You should have just minded your business; now you must explain yourself.

"Oh... Um... The elevator wasn't working in the lobby, so I had to take the stairs, and you see, I have bad knees, which is why I'm limping like this... I'm fine. It's nothing serious..." You trailed off and thanked them as they guided you to your desk. They both gave you skeptical glances, but when they noticed your somewhat suspicious smile, they shrugged.

"Sure! Just message me or call me if you still need assistance moving around. Sakura and I will head to the bar and meet the others, hehe," Itto said as he ruffled your hair with his large hand.

"Okay, okay, I'll also head there once my legs are rested, and don't ruin my hair, Itto," you pouted as you removed his hand from your head, making him chuckle. The two then prepare to depart for the pub as you say your goodbyes.

How long must you endure before using your legs to walk once more? Archons. This woman has such a high sex drive...

───── FLASHBACK ─────

You knocked on Sara's door for permission to enter, and she responded with a hum. You walked into her office, a stack of papers in your hand, and sat down at her desk.

"What do you need? I'm quite busy-oh," she paused, realizing that you were the one who entered. "Y/n, what brings you here? "

 You placed your free hand on the table and leaned forward. "I need some of these papers signed, Ms. Kujou Sara~" you hummed, causing a blush to crawl on her cheeks and her eyes to glint with lust. 

"Is this the so-called 'Y/n coffee-drunk energy?' How many cups have you already devoured? You're high on adrenaline, little thing~" she chuckled. You didn't respond and just grinned. "I must say, Ms. Y/n L/n, that was rather daring of you. You do realize that your antics have consequences, hm?" Sara sighed as she got up from her desk and came up to you face-to-face. Her menacing stare made you regret your teasing. You're so fucked. Literally. 

She snatched the papers from you and brought you close to her with her other hand as it snaked around your waist. Her body towered over yours as she leaned into your ear. She whispers, her voice tickling your ear, "I change my mind." She twisted a strand of your hair over her fingers and said, "By me not fucking you at work, I mean. What do you say, hm~? I can take care of you right here and right now~"

How could you say no to a woman like her?

A woman from an influential family is wrapped around your finger, ready to do anything to please you. A humble woman like you is intoxicating to her, especially when you act submissive.

Too embarrassed and intoxicated by lust to speak, you nodded and made her slyly smile, "As you wish, bunny."

─────

Sara was both harsh and soft. She spoke to you sweetly while violently pounding her fingers into you as if she were not overstimulating your wet, sopping hole.

Sara was in front of you as you sat on her desk with your legs spread wide while she fingered your moist cunt, her body flushed with yours but with enough room to flick her wrist.

"T-Too much, too much!" You screamed—or should I say, creamed. Although you had already released, she continued to finger you. You have been so overcome with ecstasy that another orgasm was on the way.

"S-Sara, I'm close~!" you moaned and buried your head on her shoulder, wrapping your arms around her neck. The new angle made you release, and you felt euphoric.

"Go on, bunny, cream all over my fingers," she purred, ignoring her wet core dripping with arousal and concentrating solely on your pleasure. "You did so well for me," she said, smiling.

───── END OF FLASHBACK ─────

Your face turned scarlet as you recalled her facial expressions when she was repeatedly fucking you at work. Sara's eyes were lustful, and she was intent on observing how your body would respond to her touches.

Sara would also lick her lips as if she had just had dessert when she makes you cum, as well as sneakily smirk with flushed cheeks when wanton moans and whines leave your mouth as she fucked you to oblivion.

You slapped your cheeks to get rid of such thoughts and decided to stand up, thinking that the time spent remembering being fucked was enough for your legs to recover. You said goodbye to the workers working overtime and stepped into the elevator to walk to your car. You set your GPS to the correct location of xxx pub and began driving.

─────

You were 30 minutes late due to traffic, plus an additional 30 minutes since you were lost and didn't find a parking spot. 'How embarrassing, Y/n,' you cursed.

As soon as you came to a stop, you gathered your belongings and headed straight for the bar. Sweat covered your body as you ran.

After you gave one of the servers the booking code, they brought you to one of the private rooms. You then entered the private room reserved by your boss for tonight's celebration. No one was there, and it's too late for you to be early.

Fuck.

You might have missed it since they may have ended the night early as everyone was tired. "Oh well, I should have left with Itto instead of resting my legs." A snort interrupted your loud sigh as you turned to exit the room, causing you to look around with a raised eyebrow. "Did I hear—

"SURPRISE!!!" 

Everyone shouted as they emerged from their hiding spot. They were all smiling, but as they saw a tear slip down your cheeks, they became concerned.

"Y/N! Are you alright!?" Itto said, worried. "Did you not like the surprise...?"

"No, no! I like it very much," you sniffed as you wiped a tear from your cheek, "I just thought that I missed the whole celebration, thinking that you all left because I stood you guys up," you waved off, making everyone coo.

"HA! HA! We knew you'd come, you always do, and we even became concerned something happened to you," he said, handing you a tissue from one of the tables.

"Sakura said we should wait for you before we start ordering, so while we were waiting, we decided to surprise you by doing this," one of your coworkers stated, a little embarrassedly rubbing his nape. "We apologize if we gave you the wrong impression."

You grinned and told them not to worry about it. You also thanked them for waiting for you even though you were an hour late.

"My, what happened here~?"

"Did you all just get here?"

"Huh."

Three voices boomed, drawing everyone's attention. Miko, your employer, Ei, and Sara were at the door. You all bowed and greeted them, and they told you that it wasn't required because you were no longer at work.

"Oh, my, why is the little bunny crying?" Miko queried, intrigued by what had occurred. Sara and Ei were both taken aback by her question and glanced at you with concern.

"Oh, nothing happened, just tears of joy and relief," You chuckled, wiping the last tears from your cheeks.

Sakura provided context for the three, and Sara and Ei glared at the people involved in the scheme before humming while Miko simply chuckled.

"How thoughtful of all of you, and for Y/n, how adorable," she said and mumbled the last part, but you heard it. There was something in her tone... It was sultry and filled with lust...? But you opted to ignore it, assuming it was all in your head.

"That being said," Itto chimed in, "Y/n's reaction was priceless. And now that everyone is here... LET'S PARTY!" he yelled as he raised several beer bottles.

Except for you and the three women who had just arrived, everyone followed Itto's lead and started partying their assess off.

─────

Oh, boy, the place felt like it was the center of a carnival. The karaoke was packed with individuals singing their intoxicated hearts out, slurring their words, and making the songs incomprehensible. Passed-out individuals filled the seats. Empty and partially consumed beer bottles adorned the tables.

The only people who weren't drunk were those who didn't drink at all or had a strong tolerance to alcohol.

"We should leave. It's late," Sara mumbled as she held your wrist. You comply since you want to retire for the night.

But before you could pursue her, Sara and you were halted by a tug from your other wrist.

"And where might you two be heading, hm?" Miko held your other wrist while flashing a sinister grin. Sara interpreted it as an annoyed grin. "Ms. Kujou, the night is still young. If you want to leave, don't drag the poor bunny with you and ruin her fun. You're being rather selfish, don't you think?"

There it is again, the tension between the two women from this morning.

"Miko, stop," Ei huffed as she intervened, preventing the two from murdering each other with piercing eyes. "Look. You're hurting Ms. L/n's wrist," she glared at the woman as she snaked her arm around your waist from behind, trapping you between her chest and forearm.

Archons. Because of you, three women are glaring daggers at each other. It's a good thing the room was dark. Everyone was busy because rumors would spread if they saw the four of you in this situation. And the last thing you want is to be associated with a scandal.

"L-Ladies..." You attempted to intervene, but it seemed that you worsened the situation as the three women gazed at you with dark eyes. They were still holding you, and you trembled under their touch, making them coo.

Miko forced you to face her by holding your chin between her fingers and thumb. The proximity caused you to burn with an unknown sensation.

She gave you a sly grin and then turned to face the other two women. "Well, why don't we make a proposition to make the night entertaining? Only if our rabbit agrees, of course~"

Since when did you become theirs?

Sara and Ei exchanged a knowing look and then nodded. Miko smiled at their response before looking at you for consent. You couldn't understand what was going on, though; you were too mesmerized by her goddess-like beauty.

"Bunny, why don't we make you feel good, hm~?" Miko purred. Your cheek is now caressed by the hand previously on your chin. "Since we know you're exhausted from managing the project, let us please you. What do you say?"

You gulped. Your eyes were full of lust, and you forgot you had sex with Sara at work. Despite not having any alcohol in your system, you felt intoxicated.

You meekly nodded, not trusting your voice. The three women smiled at your cute disposition and licked their lips at the thought of you becoming more helpless than you are right now.

"Let the fun begin~" Miko grinned.

─────

Taking all of them was a bad idea.

As soon as Miko opened the door to her reserved room, all three had their hands on you. They forced you onto the bed and began stripping off your clothes like a predator skinning its prey. Their hands and lips touch every inch of your skin. Your core drooled with arousal, and your skin scorched with need from their touches.

They were taller than you, and you felt so small. They cooed at how your nude body reacted to them: like a frightened rabbit trapped between three hungry wolves.

Ei and Sara were in front of you while Miko held you on her lap and teased you from behind. But despite how enclosed and suffocated you felt, it aroused you greatly. It was enough to make you climax to imagine three powerful women enticing you with their might.

Miko was the teasing one. She abused your lips and neck, leaving your skin covered in bruises and markings, even though her hands and skin ghosted your flesh.

You've had a lot of sex with Sara, but her touch still makes you weak the way she wants it. In contrast to Miko, Sara enjoys holding you for as long as she can, even to the point where her rough treatment leaves bruises on her hands. You get manhandled every time you're with her.

Ei is rather soft—too soft. Her lips and hands moved in sync with your skin, almost as if they were waltzing. Her delicate hands made your hair stand up, and her words lulled you into ecstasy. She counteracts Sara's roughness and Miko's teasing.

Your wet cunt was tired of being ignored. You want all three to touch you where you need them the most. You want them to fuck you right now.

"It appears that the bunny desires more~" Miko murmured as she felt your arousal moisten her garments. She snaked her hand from your waist to your dripping core, touching you bare and gathering your wetness, making you shudder and gasp at her icy, manicured fingertips.

"My nails are too long. What a shame," Miko purred in your ear as her hands groped your chest. She glanced at the two women who sat like puppies waiting for their master's commands. "Why don't you two make up for it and pleasure our needy bunny in my stead, hm~?"

Ei's fingers subconsciously traced your cunt before slipping a digit into your hole. You groaned as her long finger brushed across your cervix.

"You're quite wet, Ms. L/n," she whispered, her eyes wide as if it were the first time she had touched someone's cunt. It was, but the ease with which her finger thrust into you made you believe she had experience. "Heh, what cute sounds you and your cunt make~"

Ei calling you by your last name doesn't seem appropriate in this situation, no? Not when you two have crossed the line already.

Sara did nothing but observe as the two women aroused you. Miko rubbed your puffy clit and made out with you while Ei fingered you. You were helpless in their hands. She was envious of their ability to easily hold you at their mercy in the same way she could.

You were hers first.

"Seems like you'd whore around for everyone," she sneered, drawing Ei and Miko's attention. You were too engrossed in your pleasure to hear her speaking to you. "Your body must've forgotten how I fucked you many times this morning, huh?"

"My, how dirty of you, bunny," Miko teased as she twisted your hardened nipples and nibbled your ear. "I didn't think you were the kind to have sex at work~"

"N-No..." you whimpered as you squirmed in Miko's grasp. You babbled incomprehensibly, making no sense. You moaned as Ei's finger pumped faster in your core, amplifying the squelching sounds that echoed off the walls.

Sara huffed as she approached you, a sneer on her face as her palm caressed your leg, causing you to tighten on Ei's finger.

"Who am I to deny if that's what you want — to be a whore?" she groaned, a pink hue staining her cheeks as she inserted her finger along Ei's in your cunt. "Your hole is greedily squeezing our fingers."

Sara and Ei synchronized their fingers to get you to your climax while Miko assisted by sensually massaging your clit.

The overstimulation made you moan and tremble. The three women's groans and dirty talks increased your pleasure tenfold. Sara and Ei's thrusts quickened as your fluttering walls showed you were close.

"Stop fighting, bunny," Miko observed as you jerked under her grip. She motioned, "Go on. Cum. Make a mess out of their fingers, hm~?"

You yelped, unable to control the string of pleasure, but Sara and Ei didn't stop moving, causing you to whine and thrash.

"N-No more!" you whimpered and tried to stop them by clutching their wrists, but you were too exhausted to exert any force, encouraging them to keep thrusting their fingers.

The three women widened their eyes as sudden spurts of arousal ruined their clothes.

You squirted.

"How messy of you," Miko chuckled as she continued to rub your clit to make you squirt more.

You were seeing stars at this moment. Your body is sore and trembling from overstimulation, and the clouding pleasure has made your vision hazy.

You huffed and sank into Miko's chest, trying to catch your breath. Your fluttering cunt trembled as Sara and Ei pulled their fingers away, making you squirm from the stimulation. Both women brought their arousal-stained fingers to their lips to clean off your wetness.

"Sweet..." Ei smiled as if she was enjoying her favorite sweets. She then grasped both of your thighs and lowered her face to your cunt. Ei's eyes glimmered with lust at how your cum poured out of your hole.

Sara mimicked Ei's movement and licked a stripe of your cunt, causing you to jerk. Ei followed suit, tasting more of your desire. Both of them began to lap your cum like kittens.

"W-Wait! No!" You exclaimed, grasping their hair with both hands and making them groan. You opened your eyes in surprise at the newfound pleasure as the sound vibrated over your folds. "I just c-came!"

"Looks like our hungry kitties are up for another round," Miko sneered as her hands began to touch you again. "You can give us more of your pussy milk, right bunny~?"

Oh, how you wish you hadn't taken them all at once.

© shenachigans — do not plagiarise, translate, repost or copy.

[eddies-disability-swag-blog]

WELCOME TO THE DISABILITY SWAG SUMMIT OF 2023!

In the following weeks, our favorite disabled characters will battle to the death to see who is the one worthy of the title of “Disability Swag Champion” of this year.

Without any more preamble, here come our participants!

Part 1

1. Toph Beifong [Blind] (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

2. Edward Elric [Amputee] (Fullmetal Alchemist)

3. Frankie Stein [Amputee, Joint hyper mobility] (Monster High)

4. Hermann Gottlieb [Cane user] (Pacific Rim)

5. Eda Clawthorne [Chronic illness, Amputee] (The Owl House)

6. Hiccup and Toothless [Amputees] (How to train your dragon)

7. Neopolitan (Mute) [RWBY]

8. Pietro Polendina (Wheelchair user) [RWBY]

9. Geordi La Forge [Blind] (Star Trek)

10. Johnny Joestar [Paraplegic] (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure)

11. Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader [Amputee, Respiratory ailments] (Star Wars)

12. Principal Bump [Partial blindness] (The Owl House)

13. Terezi Pyrope [Blind] (Homestuck)

14. Matt Murdock/Daredevil [Blind] (Marvel)

15. Vash the Stampede [Amputee] (Trigun)

16. Brightheart [One-eyed] (Warriors)

17. Barbara Gordon/Oracle [Wheelchair user] (Batman)

18. Kitty Softpaws [Declawed] (Puss in Boots)

19. Teo [Wheelchair user] (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

20. Izumi Curtis [Chronic illness] (Fullmetal Alchemist)

21. Hearthstone [Deaf] (Magnus Chase)

22. Jayfeather [Blind] (Warriors)

Part 2

1. Gordon Freeman [Amputee] (HLVRAI)

2. Handy [Amputee] (Happy Tree Friends)

3. Luca [Wheelchair user] (Monica’s Gang)

4. Kaz Brekker [Cane user] (Six of Crows)

5. Vriska Serket [Amputee, One-eyed] (Homestuck)

6. Dr. Gregory House [Chronic pain, Cane user] (House MD)

7. Future Leonardo [Amputee] (Rise of the TMNT)

8. Melanie King [Blind] (The Magnus Archives)

9. Hawkeye [Deaf] (Marvel)

10. Tavros Nitram [Wheelchair user] (Homestuck)

11. Donatello [Soft shell] (Rise of the TMNT)

12. Zuko [Burn scar, Visual impairment] (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

13. Finn the Human [Amputee] (Adventure time)

14. Ashton Greymoore [Chronic pain, Visual impairment, others] (Critical Role)

15. Mole [Blind] (Happy Tree Friends)

16. Ricky Potts [Mute, Crutch user] (Ride the Cyclone)

17. Scootaloo [Underdeveloped wings] (MLP: FIM)

18. Victor [Chronic illness, Mobility aid user] (League of Legends/Arcane]

19. Amaya [Deaf] (The Dragon Prince)

20. Briarlight [Paralyzed] (Warriors)

21. Charles Xavier/Professor X [Wheelchair user] (X-Men)

22. Elina [Wingless] (Barbie: Fairytopia)

If I got something wrong (it is your fault, you are the ones who gave me this info/hj) feel free to correct me!

Also, excuse my ugly brackets, they were really painful to make and the template thingies didn’t work properly.

[alltoowelltom]

hold your horses! (t.h)

tom holland x reader

summary: rumors fly during an interview leading to a shock announcement for tom and his girlfriend

a/n: inspired by a tiktok i saw months ago and have not stopped thinking abt since i literally could not think of one panel-type event that wasnt comic-con i am so sorry flsjsjksjs

・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆

Tom shifts in his seat, running one hand through his curls as he tries to keep his face animated and stop his eyes glazing over. he's been sat on a vaguely uncomfortable chair for the last hour or so at Comic-Con, promoting his latest movie and as much as he loves his job and the fans, all he wants to do is crawl into bed and curl up next to you for a good twelve hours.

"Tom?" prompts the interviewer.

"I- I'm so sorry, what was your question?" he asks, flushing in embarrassment at being caught zoning out.

"Is Y/N here today?" repeats the interviewer patiently.

Tom grins at the mention of your name and he sits up taller, eyes scanning the crows until he finds you, hoodie pulled up over your head to hide from eagle-eyed fans.

"She is, yeah. I basically dragged her here so we could kind of spend time together, as an apology." he admits.

"An apology?" the interviewer says. "What did you do, Tom?"

"Yeah, what did you do, Tom?" echoes one of his co-stars, laughing.

"I fell asleep during our movie date." Tom admits sheepishly, shaking his head at the roar of laughter from the crowd. "Twenty minutes in, I was out cold."

"You didn't!" laughs the interviewer. "What did she do?"

"She was the absolute best, of course. She just held me and stroked my hair and wrapped me up in a blanket and then stayed on the sofa with me all night." he says, eyes crinkling at the general "awww" from the crowd.

The interviewer's eyes glint mischievously as Tom tells his story, clearly sensing a way to divert the interview to The Good Stuff™.

"So speaking of Y/N, there's been a lot of talk about you two online recently." he starts. "Specifically, engagement rumors? Is there any basis, any truth to these rumors?"

Tom shifts around as he stalls for time until he can meet your eyes in the crowd, raising his fluffy eyebrow ever so slightly to silently ask if you're okay with him talking about your relationship. You give him a tiny nod, encouraging him to go on.

"No, we're not engaged." he says. "But we've honestly never been happier than we are right now. She's so creative, and caring, and funny, and gorgeous. There's no one else I'd rather spend my life with."

You can't help but feel slightly choked up as he gushes, resisting the urge to throw off your hoodie and run up to the stage, crushing him into a bear hug and never letting go.

"WHEN ARE YOU PROPOSING?!" yells a particularly enthusiastic fan, rousing cheers from the rest of the crowd and the cast members on stage.

Tom laughs as he winks at you again.

"When I'm sure she'll say yes."

This, of course, results in almost hysterical screams (affectionate).

You pull your phone from your pocket, tapping on Tom's contact and typing out a message. He's watching you of course, so when he feels his phone buzz in his pocket he pulls it out, cheering like an excited seven year old, "I got a text! From Y/N!"

Y/N 💗: i'd marry you in a heartbeat baby <3

He blows a kiss in your direction, grinning from ear to ear. As he's distracted, gazing at you lovingly, a co-star leans over his shoulder and reads the text.

"Holy shit!" they laugh. "Did Tom Holland just get engaged?"

The screams reach an all-time record and you wince slightly, bringing a hand up to your ringing ear. Tom snatches his phone closer, rolling his eyes.

"Hold your horses!" he laughs. "Let me check."

He balances the microphone in his left hand as he types out a quick message.

tommy 🤠: Did we just get engaged??

Y/N 💗: we will be when you give me that rock hidden at the back of your sock drawer 😳

Tom's soft brown eyes crinkle around the edges as he grins all but leaps up from his chair.

"Is this interview wrapping up soon?" He asks cheekily. "I've got to go get engaged."

・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆

tysm for reading! comments and reblogs are always super appreciated. i wanna thank you guys for all the love on my blog, you're the best <333

[lookwhatyoumademedohaha]

And that kids is, how I met your mother Chapter 2 - Labyrinth

It only feels this raw right now Lost in the labyrinth of my mind Break up, break free, break through, break down You would break your back to make me break a smile You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back Just like that

Uh oh, I'm falling in love Oh no, I'm falling in love again Oh, I'm falling in love I thought the plane was going down How'd you turn it right around

Summary: Nikolai Lantsov and you attend an extravagant and gorgeous ball. Nikolai falls for you harder head over heels but will you face the labyrinth of new feelings that begin to emerge?

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Reader, Nikolai Lantsov x Six of Crows Reader, Kaz Brekker x Reader, Zoya Nazyalensky x Reader (Platonic), Nina Zenik x Reader (Platonic), Genya Safin x Reader (Platonic) 

Warnings: Pure tooth rotting fluff, angst and comfort, lots of humor, awesome friendships, unrequited love that might be requited, denial, pining, jealousy and slight violence.

A/N: Hi everyone! This is my first Nikolai Lantsov fic so I was very surprised and grateful for the love, support and kindness you all showered upon me! Thank you very much! Here is the Part 2 to this work and I hope you all like it. I don’t think it ends here, there’s a bit more to go but I’m excited! Let me know your thoughts and comments on my work because it means a lot to me! I love you all! Happy reading!

Chapter 1 - Until I Found Her 

Chapter 3 - Call it what you want

Chapter 4 - Someone to Stay

Chapter 5 - Cornelia Street

You looked at yourself in the gilded mirrors in the hallway of the palace, hearing the melodious notes of the orchestral grand music and the lively chatter of nobles behind the door you were about to enter. You looked at yourself inspecting Genya’s, Zoya’s and Nina’s work on you. You looked ethereal and dreamy, a princess out of a fairytale and yet the girls had not diminished the fierceness of spirit and your heart that kept on fighting for the ones you loved. You fidgeted with your beautiful dress grumbling but secretly feeling thrilled and happy to be wearing such a spectacular and dazzling dress that made you feel on top of the world. 

A snarky voice behind her said “Stop fidgeting with your dress!”

You nearly punched this person reflexively but Zoya was quick to catch your punch and gently lower your arm as she stood behind you with Genya and Nina who were the sparkling epitome of beauty. You were certain that Zoya, Genya and Nina were going to be the belles of the ball, the envy of every single princess in the party and admired by every single nobleman. 

They entered the ballroom as you felt apprehensive and nervous because - because what? You had been to many high society galas and balls as an undercover spy on missions for Kaz during your stay in Ketterdam. But this ball was different. This was a party where you had no purpose of enticing intel or being the distraction. The only purpose of this ball for you was to have fun and enjoy yourself which was a foreign concept to you. 

And also Nikolai, the King of Ravka, your friend would be here. 

Genya noticed your nervousness straightaway as she placed her arm around you comfortingly “You look magnificent, Y/N! Don’t be nervous, we’ll be keeping you company!”

“It’s true, you do look divine. Y/N, look at you all grown up and beautiful and going off to sweep the King of Ravka off his feet!” teased Nina playfully with a grin as Zoya tried to hide an amused smile but failed miserably as a wide smile curved on her face. 

You glared at the three girls who burst into laughter who seem to have fun teasing you about Nikolai’s infatuation with you as you rolled your eyes and Zoya joined in the fun “Nikolai likes you very much. He won’t know what hit him when he sees you, Y/N. He’s already like a lost puppy who follows you around.”

Genya eyed Zoya who slightly nodded with a smirk as Genya replied hopefully “Well, perhaps tonight you could get to know him a little better. You might even find yourself secretly interested him.”

You had to control yourself from strangling Genya in the middle of the ballroom because you and Nikolai were never going to happen as you replied sarcastically “I cannot think of any cleverer way to say this but... no!”

The girls laughed and Genya winked subtly at Zoya who added her fuel to the fire as she said “Well, Nikolai won’t have time for you. He’ll be too busy with important business.”

You generally wouldn’t have inquired but something in the way Zoya pronounced and implied that Nikolai would be busy with important business aroused your curiosity as you inquired “What do you mean?”

“He is the King of Ravka and he needs to find himself a suitable queen to secure Ravka. Tonight’s ball is about finding the perfect queen for Ravka among all the eligible girls here.” replied Zoya steely and firmly as she looked at Nikolai who was busy talking to ambassadors and then glanced at you who wore a thoughtful and quiet expression. “I suppose this is happy news to you. After all, he won’t be bothering you for long.”

It certainly was not a ball to find an eligible queen for Nikolai. Zoya and Genya had a bet with Nina about whether or not you would get together with Nikolai and Genya and Zoya who liked you and knew no one could resist Nikolai for long had bet that you would have feelings for Nikolai before you leave Ravka and get together later on. Zoya and Genya who didn’t want to lose the bet had found an excuse to host a ball on some Saint’s festival and both of them organized this ball of romance and beauty like a military campaign. Zoya and Genya had their fingers crossed as they observed you and Nikolai. If they were lucky, they would win the bet and tonight would be the night you would perhaps feel something more for Nikolai.

You felt a strange sense of odd hurt and slight pain sting you at the thought of Nikolai marrying another girl. You felt quiet bitterness and an aching hollow numb feeling ringing through you as you thought of the charming golden boy who was too good for this world, who smiled too brightly hiding his vulnerabilities and insecurities giving everything for a thankless country marrying a beautiful princess. You knew that you didn’t like him, you loved Kaz. You knew Nikolai had to do his duty and marry a princess for Ravka. But as you sipped your champagne, you didn’t feel easy at the thought of it and you felt horrible for feeling this way because you didn’t love Nikolai in a romantic way. 

Then why did you want to set something on fire? 

At that very moment, a Lord who you didn’t know interrupted your thoughts as he asked you to dance and you looked at Zoya and Genya who had vanished and Nina who was at the table munching on cakes with a laugh at your torture. You glared at those traitors wherever they were and you refused to dance with him. 

You made your way to the food table where Nina was indulging in the cakes as you glared at her “Traitor! I was in danger and you left me!”

“Lord Kirigan just asked you to dance.” said Zoya appearing out of nowhere with a grin. “It’s no big deal. It’s not torture in a locked dungeon.”

You punched her in the arm as she smirked and you smirked back “Well, I refused and suggested that he should ask you. And, he seemed to agree greatly to that idea.”

You smirked in amusement as Zoya grew slightly pale as she saw Kirigan approach her with an enthusiastic wide lovestruck smile and you grinned at Zoya with a teasing twinkle in your eyes “It’s no big deal, Zoya. It’s not torture in a locked dungeon.”

“Saints! If he asks, I have left the country with no plans of coming back!” exclaimed Zoya who glared at you fiercely as she disappeared quickly through the crowd avoiding Kirigan’s advances while Nina and you laughed in amusement. 

Both of you stopped laughing when Kirigan inquired after Zoya and Nina decided to have mercy on Zoya as she drawled sweetly “Zoya died eighteen years ago. I haven’t seen her since the funeral.”

After getting rid of Kirigan, you and Nina enjoyed the champagne and the delightful food while gossiping in amusement and mingling with the crowd. It was different from your missions where you always had to be alert and ready for trouble beneath your charming demeanor. You began to enjoy the party as you were introduced to new people who you liked and chatted charmingly

But you felt Nikolai’s gaze burning into you the moment you had entered. From the moment you had entered to every step you took, you could feel his intense and heated gaze following you with such burning desire that you refused to meet his eyes for the fear of drowning in them. It was such a beautiful and foreign sensation, to have someone so conscious of every little thing you did and adore and worship it. You knew that it couldn’t be possible. After all tonight was about finding the perfect queen for Nikolai and you weren’t simply interested in him and unsuitable for such a position. You were glad for Nikolai but something didn’t feel right within you. 

But your thoughts were still of Kaz Brekker even though Nina had bought you here to forget him. The distance between both of you only made it worse for you as you thought of whether Kaz missed you as much as you missed him and wondered whether he thought of you like you thought of him whenever you saw everything that called out his name to you. This heartbreak felt eternal as it killed you over and over again and sometimes you found yourself looking over to tell Kaz something enthusiastically but realized that he was no longer there, no longer part of your life. 

It felt cruel to suffer like this. Only love could hurt like this. And you never wanted to feel like this again. You wanted this distance to knock some sense into Kaz and make him realize that you were the one he loved. But it had been weeks and there was no word from him. No letters from him. You hadn’t expected Kaz to turn up at Ravka and make a grand romantic gesture but you would be lying if you hadn’t expected at least a letter inquiring about you. You felt burning pain and hurt as tears sprung into your eyes at the thought of the Bastard of Barrel who still managed to haunt you and ruin your happiness even in his absence. 

You were chatting with your new friend Princess Ameera who was kind and nice as you both chewed on the sweet cupcakes when suddenly you were interrupted by a gentleman you asked you “Miss Y/L/N, will you do me the honor of dancing with me?”

You looked around for Ameera who had conveniently ducked behind a potted plant and you looked at the gentleman who certainly did not match up to Nikolai’s aristocratic charm and handsomeness. 

And hell, why in the name of Saints were you suddenly thinking of him?

“No.” you replied bluntly and you were certain the potted plant laughed out loud.

The gentleman looked offended as he turned red and marched away. You were glad because now maybe your horrible behavior toward the gentleman would spread and you wouldn’t be asked to dance by men who didn’t know how to dance. 

Ameera emerged, her face red in laughter “You are splendid!”

Ameera and you laughed but your joy was short lived when a line of military officers and noble gentlemen queued to ask your hand for a dance but you brutally turned them down. You had anticipated this as one of the outcomes but it frustrated you that these men who thought themselves as intelligent didn’t understand the meaning of no. One after another you refused to dance with them simply because you didn’t feel like they would be a good dancer. 

Now you were turning down a Colonel who had thought you were an interesting woman who could be won for a dance as he made conversation with you “I must admit, Miss Y/L/N, I have admired you from afar for some time. You caught my eye the very first moment I saw you.”

For the love of all the Saints, did this man have nothing original in his pocket. You rolled your eyes not noticing Nikolai look at you in observant amusement as you retorted “Why on earth would I catch your eye? Your eyeballs look in perfect place to me. I’m not in habit of catching eyes, let me assure that. I’m more of a catching decapitated heads lady.”

You took pleasure in seeing the life drain out of his face in fear but he tried a different tactic “May I have the -”

You immediately replied wanting to get this over with “No, you may not dance with me. Why don’t you go find another partner who actually wants to dance with you? Goodbye.”

You heaved a sigh of gratitude and Ameera who had been witnessing this grinned “I wish I could refuse men the way you do. It is a wonder to witness.”

Your eyes involuntarily skipped toward Nikolai who was surrounded by a gaggle of beautiful princesses and pretty ladies as he flashed his charming smile and said something that made them laugh. You felt something quite fierce and protective in your heart at the sight as you bit fiercely into your macaroon. 

Ameera smiled knowingly as she eyed you glaring at Nikolai who was popular among the ladies as she queried politely “You admire King Nikolai Lantsov?”

“No!” you denied immediately and fiercely, shocked at the very thought as you swallowed your food and smiled tightly thinking of Nikolai surrounded by all those beautiful princesses and yet the fact he hadn’t paid a single ounce of attention to you stung you “We are friends.”

“I hear he is a good man and a great king with wise plans for change.” replied Ameera conversationally. 

“Well, if you want to dance with him, you will have to wait. There is quite a long line of admirers.” you replied sarcastically and snarkily as you bit into your macaroon again glaring at a princess who touched Nikolai’s shoulder flirtily with a coy smile to which he responded with a charming grin. 

“Yes, you are right. I must not lose my chance. It was a pleasure meeting you, Miss Y/N Y/LN.” said Ameera sincerely as she nodded at you kindly and sweetly and left to meet Nikolai. 

You watched Princess Ameera approach Nikolai and you saw her pointing toward you with a kind smile saying to Nikolai that you had suggested she should dance with him and Nikolai raised his eyebrows at you and you immediately looked away stuffing your mouth with two macaroons. 

As you occupied yourself with observing people and eavesdropping shamelessly at their scandalous conversations and eating the amazing sweets, you found your thoughts wandering toward Kaz Brekker, wishing that he was here with you. Their last mission had been a grand party like this where they had played the role of a married couple, where Kaz had been absolutely devoted and loving toward you with burning desire and affection in his eyes only for you as it all felt beautiful and too good to be true. Then the clock had struck midnight and the fairytale had ended with Kaz Brekker breaking your heart cruelly, tearing you apart with his cold words that made you realize you were a fool for him while he had been enjoying playing the game to achieve his goals. 

Your hand flew toward the simple silver necklace that had a gold ring hanging from it. The ring was stunning and simple with a charm of the silhouette of a Crow engraved on it and the letter R carved into it. It was the ring he had gifted to you with an involuntary soft smile for your mission as a fake couple because he wanted you to keep and wear it. He had placed the ring on your finger with a soft glint in his eyes as he smoothed your palm with his hand and briefly and softly kissed the your hand. It had been intimate and affectionate, exactly like a real proposal between two lovers who wanted to spend a lifetime with each other. This ring was special to you because it gave you hope that you were his and he wanted it that way. 

It felt all too much for you, you were suffocating and you couldn’t breathe as you rushed out of the ballroom to find fresh air and peace as tears sprung into your eyes and your heart ached cruelly tearing you into pieces. You didn’t know where you were, all you knew was you were sitting on the floor as you heaved heavy breaths trying to calm yourself down. 

You heard someone sit next to you and Zoya’s calm and collected voice echoed toward you “Hello you.”

You didn’t reply engulfed in your sorrow and heartbreak and Zoya who had seen you run away out of the ballroom wanted to check up on you. Zoya had seen Nikolai who had been in the middle of negotiations with an ambassador look at you in concern and desperation as he tried to excuse himself to check up on you but the ambassador seemed steadfast on keeping a grip on the King of Ravka. 

Zoya wanted to know why you looked so pale as she said offering a bottle of brandy “Why did you leave the party?”

You took a gulp of brandy and then a deep breath as you replied in a voice trembling with grief and hurt “It reminded me of.... a person. This enigmatic person who I let get into my head. Trust me, he doesn’t leave.”

Zoya knew who exactly you were talking about as she looked over at you because she had experience with enigmatic people and the aftermath of dealing with the grief of losing them and how they let you down so easily as she queried, taking the bottle of brandy from you “This enigmatic person of yours... is your what exactly?”

You were taken aback by the question as you pondered over it and replied quietly “He’s... he’s not my anything.”

“Oh, you mean you are just friends.” replied Zoya easily in understanding as she nursed the comforting thought of throwing Kaz Brekker into a canal the next time she met him as she drank the brandy. 

“Yes, we’re just friends.” you said quickly, too quickly for it to be true as the lie felt bitter on your tongue. You took the bottle of brandy to your lips and the memories of Kaz Brekker, his little soft smile reserved for you until he had become cold and cruel breaking your heart into a million pieces flashed through your mind as you breathed in “Not even friends... not anymore. He’s not the man I thought he was and I hate that.”

“Oh, he was wrong, cruel, mean, underhanded, thoughtless, heartless and arrogant beyond belief.” summed Zoya understanding exactly how you felt because when she had heard of the Darkling’s atrocious act, she had been shaken in pain and disbelief because that was not the man who she had known and cared for. Zoya remembered questioning why the Darkling had become that way and how she could have fallen for his act. “He betrayed you and everything you stood for.”

“Exactly!” you stated looking at Zoya who was drinking the brandy who had summed up your feelings about Kaz Brekker excellently.

Zoya looked at you with a determined glint in her eyes “So are you saying goodbye and ending it? Why are you crying over him instead of enjoying the party in there?”

“I came to Ravka to distance myself from him. I can’t just say goodbye and end everything on a slammed door.” you replied seriously, your eyes widened as a hollow and numb pit began to form at the idea of just leaving Kaz Brekker without a word. The thought of leaving Kaz Brekker, the Bastard of the Barrel even if he was the boy who broke your heart, was incredibly strange and daunting. You could never think of leaving him because... because who would you be without him? Kaz Brekker for all his faults and flaws was the person who had seen your set of skills and given you purpose in life. 

“Yes you can! Anyone can do it! People do it all the time.” exclaimed Zoya honestly and sharply as she watched you drink thoughtfully and nudged you as she raised her eyebrows knowingly “Except of course... when they can’t.”

“Life would be so much simpler if we liked the right people. The people we are supposed to like.” said Zoya contemplatively and quietly thinking of her past with the Darkling as you lay your head on her shoulder glad to have a strong soul who understood you. You felt your breath quicken at Zoya’s words as you thought of Nikolai and Kaz, how vastly different they were and your eyes grew misty “But I suppose then, there wouldn’t be fairytales.”

Fairytales. What a nice and simple word for a fantasy that didn’t exist. In Ketterdam, there was no room for fairytales and yet you were a believer in happily ever after and dreamed of having your own fairytale once you met Kaz Brekker. That was your mistake. You should never have dreamed. You should have never believed that you were someone who deserved to find happiness and true love. Those were purely reserved for good heroes who triumphed in stories. 

You replied curtly “I grew up out of fairytales.”

“So did I. I suppose we have something more in common.” said Zoya smiling fondly at you and then got up as she held out her hand to you with a sisterly expression “This enigmatic person of yours... would you trade them for reliable and dull?”

“My person’s a bit different.” you replied with a knowing smile as you thought of Kaz who was dark and mysterious, full of secrets and schemes.

Zoya grinned as she flung an arm around you “Come on, dry your eyes. Don’t waste a second thinking about him. That’s what he wants, to ruin everything you have but don’t give him the satisfaction of letting him get in the way of enjoying your life.”

“And maybe one day... you can end it on a slammed door and trade him for kind and charming.” advised Zoya with a motherly smile as she leaned her head against yours comfortingly raising the bottle of brandy to your good health making you giggle a little. 

“Alright then, my plan for tonight is to get fucked up beyond recognition!” you replied merrily as you took the bottle of the brandy and took a gulp from it while Zoya grinned in approval and cheered for you.

Both of you made it to the ballroom laughing and talking when Kirigan cornered Zoya who looked like she was ready for battle and you pitied the poor fellow. Zoya was slowly becoming like a sister to you and you admired her fierce and strong composure. But as Zoya battled Kirigan fiercely in his attempts to woo her, your eyes flicked toward a few gentlemen who were near you and near the hearing range of Nikolai. 

You grew curious as you edged a little closer to them with a wine glass in your hand and you heard one of the gentleman, his voice full of glee and juicy gossip as he exclaimed “You haven’t heard?”

Heard what? Spill the tea, good fellow because your ears were open.

Your instincts as a spy were activated as you kept your ears open while you smiled encouragingly at Kirigan who was chatting Zoya who looked like she was battling an army of volcra and you observed the company. It was the Duke Romanov, a few prominent Lords you recognized and a wealthy merchant. 

You pretended to be clueless but really you were sipping on your glass of wine as you listened to their chatter as Duke Romanov said in a drawn out voice that aroused curiosity “King Nikolai is the finest king we have ever had the good fortune to have! I do have a shocking piece of information I need to share regarding him but I cannot do so because I cannot taint my reputation by becoming known as a gossip.”

You rolled your eyes because honestly when men said women were the gossips, it amused you. Men were worse than women when it came to gossiping.

You could practically see Lord Radimov salivating as he said “Yes. You have something of importance, Duke?”

You carefully stepped toward them hiding among the crowd as another girl who had eyes out for an eligible suitor, unnoticeable and invisible to them curious to hear what Duke Romanov who was famous for being a gossip with plenty of juicy stories and wicked rumors to share. You had heard that he had argument with Nikolai regarding one of Nikolai’s reforms of integrating Grisha and non - Grisha for unity because the Duke believed taxing the poor and building useless infrastructure was a better reform.

“I cannot say, my dear gentlemen.” said Duke Romanov grandly to the company “It is merely a rumor and I would never dream of slandering our great King’s character.”

You were amazed at people’s ability to lie so casually and carelessly as you listened to the present company reassure him “We will not tell anyone.”

Lord Devington nodded solemnly “You know us, Duke. We are not men who spread untruths. We would never dream of it.”

It was really amazing as you hid an amused grin at these gentlemen being scandalous gossips waiting impatiently for the Duke to spill whatever scandalous story he was withholding about Nikolai. You wondered whether it was about his wild youth or days in the army. Whatever it was, it seemed shocking to the Duke who you had classified information on. You had information on nearly everyone in the court. You were a spy first and foremost and your instincts sought for information you could use and indulge in. You couldn’t turn it off just because you were on holiday. 

Duke Romanov gave in with a dramatic sigh as he said in a sincere voice that you almost believed “Well alright, but only if you promise not to repeat a word of it.”

Lord Justinbury repeated “We promise. Does it have something to do with his days before he became King?”

Now your ears were wide open as you felt curiosity as you breathed in while the Duke smiled indulgently and said nastily in a low voice you could hear after years of practice as a spy “That’s exactly it, Lord Justinbury. The shocking part is... that before he became king, he prided himself on being a pirate among scumbags and thieves. Called himself Sturmhond.”

Oh dear! He actually cared about getting out of the bubble of royalty and mixing with commoners! How scandalous!

You grinned involuntarily as you thought of the tales of Sturmhond you had heard and your grin grew wider at the thought of Nikolai pretending to be a privateer in the seas as he worked among common folk and thugs. Well, well, how very naughty of Nikolai, breaking all the traditions of the upperclass Ravka. This just made you like him more. 

One gentleman exclaimed “Heavens! The fact that our King has degraded himself so -”

“Rubbing shoulders with terrifying thieves and common folk! That’s hardly a behavior suitable for a King!” exclaimed one of the other Lords while you held back screeches of amused laughter at how dramatic these men were. 

Duke Romanov was not done with his story yet as he added with glee “And he has worked for a living sailing all around the world and making friends with thieves in an awful place in Kerch!”

“Oh my - dear Duke Romanov, you don’t mean to tell me our beloved King has mingled with low scumbags - from what’s that terrible, awful, terrifying place of hell -”

“Ketterdam.” another gentleman supplied helpfully.

Yeah, sounded about right. If there was a hell on earth with every evil, terrible, awful thing that the Pandora’s box unleashed, it was Ketterdam itself ruled by the Bastard of the Barrel who was worse than the devil.

“They do not have a proper system of governance like us, do they?” asked another gentleman scandalized at the very thought of no king ruling Ketterdam.

You suppressed a snort of laughter as you replied in your head sarcastically “Worse. They have Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands. If you ever visit Ketterdam, make certain to get on his bad side and he will welcome you warmly.”

Duke Romanov was enjoying the effect his story had on his friends as he whispered conspiratorially in a shocked voice “That’s not even the shocking part!”

Lord Seisthorne replied wide eyed “My dear Duke, what could be more shocking than your revelations this evening?”

Oh you thought that was a bold question for Lord Seisthorne to ask considering the juicy information who were holding in your head regarding him. 

Lord Justinbury queried innocently “Does it have something to do with how quickly he inherited the throne?”

“That’s exactly the most shocking part. Isn’t it suspicious how after a long time he suddenly took interest in the throne and worked very hard for it?” asked Duke Romanov delightfully as he exclaimed with a grin “I have heard from a reliable source our King is a Fjerdan born bastard who has no right to sit on the throne!” 

You froze in shock. It was apparent Nikolai had heard it and you weren’t the only one who froze in shock. Zoya and Kirigan who were arguing had also stopped in shock as they looked over at Nikolai protectively and loyally and glared daggers at the gossiping Duke.

You had heard whispers but you didn’t want to believe it unless it came from Nikolai. And as you looked over at Nikolai, it was absolutely clear to you that he had heard it. Nikolai looked charming and undisturbed as he sipped on his drink and yet as you looked closer you saw his shoulders stiffen tensely, his happy hazel eyes flicker with pain and betrayal and his charming smile unnoticeably slightly waver at the corners of his mouth. 

It was as if he was used to it. 

Oh hell no. Hell no! No way you were allowing this gossiping Duke to strip your Prince of his arrogance and pride. Yes, you thought of Nikolai as ridiculous, proud and charming but that was his armor. No one had the right to strip away his armor, take away his pride and hurt him. You would not let anyone do that. 

Alright, so now the fun was going to start. 

Before anyone could stop you, you had marched to Duke Romanov with a charming smile “Duke Romanov! It’s time for our dance!”

Duke Romanov who had not been introduced to you looked at you skeptically “Do we know each other, Miss...”

“Oh believe me, you have not had that pleasure yet. But I believe we can change that for the dance floor calls!” you exclaimed with a delighted smile plastered on your face as you took his hand with a wink and he let himself guide you to the dance floor confused yet fine with what was happening. 

The dance began as the confused Duke guided you across the dance floor and he looked at you in confusion but his confusion melted away to awe when you flashed your sweet smile at him unaware that Nikolai was gripping his wine glass very tightly burning a hole into the Duke’s head as you said pleasantly “Duke Romanov, I understand you are not happy with King Nikolai Lantsov.”

“Who are you?” asked the Duke, his smile fading slightly.

“None of your business.” you said with a charming and sassy smile as you pressed yourself closer to him and felt satisfied when the Duke groaned in pain as you pressed a butter knife you had picked from the table. You smiled brightly as you raised your eyebrows and pressed the knife into his torso “Keep smiling brightly and dancing.”

“Just so we are clear, this is pressed into your brachial artery. Keep smiling, sweetheart.” you crooned sweetly and charmingly with a delightful smile on your face as you danced with him unaware that Nikolai was curiously looking at you who looked far too happy to be dancing with a pompous Duke who seemed like he was trying his best to smile. 

“Once you start to bleed, you will start to lose consciousness and then you will die soon unless someone comes to aid.” you said calmly and politely smiling widely at the Duke pressing the knife harder making him groan in absolute pain “Now given your recent magnificent behavior at this party... how likely do you think that anyone is going to rescue you?”

The Duke’s eyes bulged out of his head in shock as he looked at you with absolute pain and you felt pleasure at him suffering at your hands while you danced with him to the music. 

“To prevent this entirely blessed and wonderful incident from happening, I recommend you should keep your mouth shut about any distasteful rumors regarding King Nikolai Lantsov from now on and take back what you have said to your noble friends.” you said politely and sweetly but your eyes were steely and cool with the promise of danger if he did not agree with your demands “From now on, I’m keeping my eye on you and calling the shots. Don’t ever mock and threaten the King again. Got it?”

“Got it. Really got it.” groaned the Duke who was suffering true pain at your hands, regretting every word that he had uttered. 

“Good. Oh and one more thing. I suspect you want our King dethroned so I’ll be watching your every move. One wrong move, one wrong relationship and the King will be the least of your problems. Don’t smile at this because I am not joking. I have friends who will be glad to take out your eyeballs and hang you down a bridge subjecting you torture if you don’t do as I command.” you whispered softly but it was poison and danger, a promise of death if Duke Romanov didn’t comply as he realized you were serious and he grew frightened of you “If you want your reputation to be untarnished and live a long life, swear and pledge your loyalty only to King Nikolai Lantsov and agree to each and every one of his reforms and commands.”

“Do we have an agreement?” you queried with a kind and sweet smile that only an innocent angel would wear as you pressed the knife deeply into his torso. 

“Yeah! I promise on my mother’s grave!” exclaimed Duke Romanov who was now growing pale and starting to look slightly dizzy. 

“Wonderful. The deal is the deal. Oh, and I suggest you confess what you said to the King privately right now and apologize to him unless you are looking for a much painful punishment from me.” you replied with a gracious and angelic smile pressing the knife harder and deeper into the torso as the Duke moaned in suffering and agony. 

“Spectacular. Thanks for the dance, darling. We should do it again sometime.” you said charmingly with a laugh, your eyes glinting with dark and malicious intentions as you kissed the Duke’s cheek and took your knife away hiding it from sight letting the Duke breath as he wore a horrified and terrified expression at the thought of meeting you again.

You grinned as you sashayed away from the Duke who was gulping in air and you raised an eyebrow at him. He immediately almost ran toward Nikolai clutching his stomach as he said something to Nikolai who looked confused but granted him a private audience as they went to another room. You followed them discreetly and pressed your ear to the door as you listened to the Duke confessed what he had done and apologize profusely to Nikolai who responded with icy silence and then granted forgiveness in a cold charming manner that had a veiled threat in it as the two men started to talk politics and negotiations. You slipped away quietly back to the party with a satisfied and happy grin on your face because this party was not quite bad because it had been fun.

Kaz would have been proud of you. Your smile slightly faltered at the thought of him and your happiness seemed a bit dull. 

Before you could dwell on Kaz, you saw Nikolai striding toward the ballroom with a staggering Duke who looked terrified when you shot him a cold glare. Your eyes were on Nikolai, his golden hair like an angelic halo and his hazel eyes warm and bright like a fire, looking every inch of the King he was meant to be. You didn’t care whether he was a bastard. He cared about people and about his country. That was enough for you. 

You saw slight exhaustion creep into Nikolai’s eyes at seeing a gang of ladies approach him as he seemed to force a charming smile. You didn’t know what came over you but the next thing you knew, you had marched toward Nikolai and dragged him away from those vultures who wanted him all to themselves. 

Nikolai was completely surprised “What on -”

One of the ladies simpered in displeasure “Hey, we were just going to talk to -

“Your Highness, you have impeccable timing, I was just looking for you! We do not have time for flirtations, there’s an urgent situation requires your attention.” you exclaimed with a bright smile as you took his hand and dragged him through the ballroom “Follow my lead.”

Nikolai replied playfully with a bright grin “With pleasure. I love the view.”

You rolled your eyes at him not seeing Zoya and Genya throw each other gleeful looks while you took Nikolai out to the gardens and let go of his hand as he queried curiously “What is the urgent situation? Has your favorite plant died?”

You rolled your eyes at him amusing him “I thought you might need rescuing since you seemed to be tired from being charming.”

“You think I’m charming?”

“Really? That’s all you hear?”

Nikolai grinned widely as he stepped toward you with a sincere and teasing glint in his hazel eyes as he murmured “Just admit you wanted to be with me alone for tonight.”

You felt something erupt in your heart as your cheeks blossomed with warmth “You are the most - most ridiculous, proud, thick - headed prat I’ve ever met!”

“You’re not denying it.” replied Nikolai playfully enjoying riling you up because your fierce scowl and fiery spark in your eyes enchanted him. 

“Fine. I deny that I wanted to be alone with you.” you snapped in exasperation as you felt something bitter sting you as you averted your eyes away from Nikolai “Go, shoo! Go away and be with the beautiful princesses who would make perfect queen for Ravka!”

Nikolai smiled slightly as he realized that perhaps you were jealous but he thought it best not to bring it up as he replied gently “But they mean nothing to me because I have eyes only for the most divine goddess who is standing in front of me.”

You blushed as you felt Nikolai stare at you intensely with burning desire and reverence. Nikolai had been waiting for you to enter the party and when you had arrived, he was struck breathless and enchanted by you. You were always beautiful and lovely but tonight you were a magical goddess who had stepped out of his dreams who drove him crazy. Nikolai had wanted to go talk to you immediately and dance with you all night but the business of protecting Ravka and keeping its interests afloat came first as he made conversation with ambassadors, diplomats, noblemen and ladies charming them and ensuring their loyalty to Ravka. 

Nikolai could not stop staring at you all night because you had bewitched his heart as he stared at you smiling brightly dressed in an off the shoulder rosy pink floaty and soft ball gown with long sleeves embroidered with glittering magical and colorful flowers. Your hair was braided sweetly with lovely waves of it curling down your shoulder, pretty pink and white flowers and purple butterflies tucked into it. You were the most beautiful, divine, magical creature Nikolai’s eyes had ever seen and if he had to define beauty, it was the very sight of you that made his heart soar in joy and gladness. 

All Nikolai wanted to do was to dance with you but he was crowded with people who wanted to talk to him and he observed you had a long line of admirers who you refused sharply amusing Nikolai at the sight of brave officers and noblemen being turned down by you and the rumors of you being a conceited little madam. He knew you weren’t conceited, you were just waiting for the right partner. 

And Duke Romanov... that had been bizarre. At first he had been completely jealous that you had made the first move and asked Duke Romanov of all people to dance with you but as the dance progressed, he noticed the odd relationship between the both of you. Later, after the dance, the Duke had been gasping for breath as he nursed slight wound on his torso that Nikolai pretended to ignore as he apologized to Nikolai and swore his loyalty to him.

Nikolai suspected that you had something to do with the sudden change of heart Duke Romanov had. 

“I had a strange conversation with the Duke Romanov.” began Nikolai nonchalantly and casually as he looked at you and observed a slight amused flicker in your eyes but you kept a deadpanned expression excellently. 

“Oh?”

“He apologized for disagreeing with all my reforms and believed that I was the King Ravka needed and deserved. So many flattering and kind things said and I wonder what made him change his heart about me.” said Nikolai casually as he kept a watchful eye on you seeing your lips slightly twitch but you wore a casual and deadpanned expression as if you had never heard of the Duke Romanov before. 

“Ah, well. Maybe the Duke had a change of heart.” you said cheerfully with a careless grin surprising Nikolai at how well you were hiding it. 

“It’s the strangest thing that a Duke who has disliked me for a long time suddenly had a change of heart after the dance with you.” stated Nikolai calmly determined to coax the truth out of you. “I could have sworn he was holding his stomach with great pain.”

You paused for a moment and then looked at Nikolai innocently “Perhaps he had a stomach ache? Maybe he had too many lemon pies? Eating too many lemon pies always give me a stomach ache -”

“So you didn’t threaten him?” retorted Nikolai exasperated and amused by your lively chatter. 

“How dare you accuse a lady of such scandalous acts, Your Majesty! You are disgrace!” you exclaimed dramatically as you placed your hand on your chest and fanned yourself with another hand pretending to almost faint making Nikolai laugh in amusement. “I am just an innocent lady who does not even know the dark ways of the world.”

“I’d be tempted to believe you if you weren’t part of the most feared gang in Ketterdam... the Crows.” retorted Nikolai with an easygoing grin as his eyes twinkled in joy. 

You decided to drop the act and put your hands up in surrender as you drawled carelessly turning from damsel to a survivor “Fine. I may have danced with him and... offered him a deal that was too good to resist.”

Nikolai raised his eyebrows at you and you rolled your eyes “The deal was he gets to shut his mouth about you and I get to keep my knife away from his major arteries.”

Nikolai’s jaw dropped in shock at the thought of you actually threatening Duke Romanov for protecting Nikolai as his eyes widened in amazement “Why did you do that?”

“I was bored at this party and I wanted to have some fun.” you replied carelessly and nonchalantly as you looked away from Nikolai who felt disappointed and hurt as he looked away from you because how could he ever think he could be special to you?

“And because... because you’re my friend and I don’t want to see you hurt.” you whispered softly and gently with a kind and shy look in your eyes after a long moment of silence as you gazed at him earnestly, a warm protective feeling blooming in your heart.

Nikolai’s eyes widened in wonder and surprise because he was shocked that you cared so much him to do such a dangerous and chivalrous deed to protect his honor and reputation as he suddenly felt breathless and warmth spread across his cheeks as he replied after a long moment “I... you... thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me but...”

Nikolai was speechless trying to find the right words to articulate how he truly felt about you in that moment but words failed him as you smiled softly at him “I know you don’t have to answer to me... but is it true?”

Nikolai halted, his breath hitching because he had thought you heard the rumors surrounding him and believed them. He had not expected you to gently ask about him greatest shame that he hid, waiting for him to tell you the truth from his own lips instead of believing the liars and clowns making noise. 

It was hard to confide this vulnerable insecurity that had defined so much of himself in his life to you who he adored and worshiped. Because you were so wonderful and kind and deserved someone so much better than a bastard who hid his truth and worked so hard to be loved by wearing different masks. 

And yet, as he stood feeling your calming and gentle presence in this moonlit garden, he felt exposed and vulnerable, shy and terrified to let his guard down to the one person who might understand him. 

But the world has lied to you enough... you deserved the truth. 

“Yes. It’s the truth.” the words slipped softly, in a semblance of a whisper as he looked away from you feeling shame and insecurities as he heard Vasily laughing, Nikolai Nothing. “Born a bastard by a Fjerdan sailor and a Ravkan queen who was neglected by her husband in wedlock. It’s who I am, Y/N.”

His voice cracked, broken and hurt seeping through it as he felt the words he left unspoken vibrate in the air “It’s who I have always been no matter how good of a show I put up.”

“Now you know that I am not who I am... you are free to decide what you should do.” said Nikolai quietly, his voice solemn but a hint of pain and hurt seeped through it as he squared his shoulders just like a soldier bravely would before stepping into a battle of bullets. 

The silence seemed to stretch for a long moment and Nikolai realized that you must have left him. Of course, that was the wisest course of action. Nikolai felt his heart sink into a deep, cold, dark pool of self - loathing and heartbreak as he realized you hated and were disgusted by who he was. Who could blame you? Who would want an unlovable bastard, a nothing who pretended to be somebody to befriend and love?

But he was surprised when your arms wrapped around his waist hugging him tightly as you stood on your tiptoes behind him, your chin resting on his shoulders as he felt the curve of your lips tug into a small smile, your voice full of warmth, gentleness and reassurance “Don’t be silly, Nikolai. I’m not going anywhere.”

Nikolai felt time stop as he realized you were still here, still with him and had chosen the real and true him as a lump of emotion swelled in his throat as you said lightly “I happen to like you very much just the way you are, you ridiculous boy.”

Nikolai smiled involuntarily as he felt warm and loved without any strings attached as he closed his eyes and placed his hands on top of your hands that were wrapped around his waist, pulling him into a tight hug as he felt happiness erupt in his stomach “Y/N... you know this means, I’m not nobility. Not really.”

Nikolai knew he had to face you as he turned around to look at you. You were stunning, kindness and thoughtfulness etched on your face as you stared at him softly with an open heart. He couldn’t understand why you had not left him here all alone. Nikolai didn’t understand why you had seen the real him and still stayed with him, embracing him warmly with a light hearted and reassuring words that made him feel that nothing was going to change how you felt about him no matter his insecurities and truths that were revealed. 

People always left. Why weren’t you leaving?

“Nobility is not defined by our family lines. It’s defined by our actions and how we honor others.” you said drawing yourself up straight in a poised and dignified manner as you looked at Nikolai in gentle reassurance and quiet understanding and your lips quirked into a smile “You are silly and ridiculous... but out of every aristocrat and royalty and nobility I have seen... you have proved to me that you are the true definition of nobility because you earned the title, the throne and crown by your actions and caring for people... not by a royal title you took for granted.”

Nikolai’s eyes widened in surprise as he stared at you in wonder and amazement, his heart thudding loudly as he realized that you didn’t care about his birth status quo and you believed that he was worthy of being called noble as his eyes filled with gratitude “Coming from you, that is high praise.”

You smiled softly at Nikolai as your eyes twinkled in kindness as you replied sincerely and earnestly as you took a deep breath “You are ridiculous, condescending, absolutely annoying, insufferable and -”

Nikolai raised his eyebrows “Excuse me, I thought we were having a moment?”

“All I know is for your many faults, you are honest, courageous, strong, true and kind - hearted and you are on your way to becoming the greatest king Ravka has ever known.” you stated quietly with a solemn and contemplative expression with belief glimmering in your eyes that surprised Nikolai who was stunned and speechless “I don’t care whether you are a bastard or a noble. It doesn’t matter who we are born as. What matters is who we decide to be. And you have chosen to be a king who wants to make Ravka a safer and better country.”

Nikolai who felt the air knocked out of his lungs at the sincerity and belief in your eyes felt speechless until he managed to retort “I didn’t know you believed in me so much.”

“Trust me, I can hardly believe it myself.” you replied with a good natured grin, your eyes twinkling in amusement and honesty.

Nikolai let out a huff of laughter as he felt your hand brush against his gently and he felt electrified and excited, the butterflies coming alive. He wanted to take your hand in his but he felt terrified. 

He had never felt this way with anyone. Why on earth was he nervous to take your hand?

Saints, was he sweating? 

“Get it together, Lantsov,” he commanded himself sternly “You’ve faced Fjerdan bullets and pirates and death and the Darkling. This is nothing compared to that.”

You looked over at him with those pretty eyes and he instantly knew that everything he had faced was nothing compared to you. 

“I suppose it’s hard to believe that there are people who believe and accept me for who I am. I’ve grown up with servants whispering rumors in front of me about my birth... my father who never cared about me because he knew who I was and my brother who taunted and laughed at me because I was not his blood.” said Nikolai taking in a deep breath, trying to articulate everything he felt as he found himself confiding his deepest secret in you easily, suddenly finding that it was easier for him to breathe “ I never belonged anywhere. Maybe that’s why I ran away and became Sturmhound, the dashing privateer. I wanted to find somewhere I belonged.”

Your expression was one of pure curiosity “Had any luck?”

“I’m not sure yet.” replied Nikolai quietly and softly as he stared at you hopefully, his eyes filled with adoration and aching longing for you and you felt yourself blushing as you realized what he meant. Nikolai smiled slightly as he sighed “All I know is... court is not where I belong. They all smile and pretend to love me but they all know the truth and gossip about it. It... I pretend it doesn’t hurt but it aches sometimes and that’s why I do everything to make up for it.”

There was a long moment of silence and Nikolai felt as if he was the drowning man who had suddenly been pulled to shore by you. He had confided his status in Alina who had comforted him with sweet words. But he saw you furrowing your eyebrows thoughtfully with a small smile you wore when you thought of something deep and smart. 

“You’re spending your entire life trying to make people happy. It’s good to care about others but not at the expense of yourself. Don’t try to make up for it or apologize for who you are to those who gossip about you. Be a king... be a leader and tell everyone what you need them to do. Show them who you are... the bastard who earned the right to become the King of Ravka.” you said passionately and truthfully to Nikolai who was taken aback your sharp wit and wise insight that was not comforting but truthful and inspiring to him.

“You know... there are times, when you display a sort of... I don’t know what to call it.” said Nikolai with a strange and thoughtful expression and then looked at you with a small soft smile “But it is... I’d say you display a strange sense of wisdom laced with sharp truth.”

You blushed as you looked away feeling admired and good enough as you smiled shaking your head and he looked at you with a bright twinkle in his eyes, his spirit renewed “I suppose then... being a bastard isn’t that bad because it has earned a point in my favor from you.”

You laughed as you looked at him and breathed with a shy and sincere smile “By the way, I like you when you’re like this. When you are just being yourself without reservation, without trying to please anyone.”

Nikolai felt warmth and happiness burst in his heart as he blushed “It’s too easy to be myself when I’m with you.”

You blushed as you looked at him admiringly and affectionately, full of amazement and protectiveness for the boy who had grown up with demons in his head and yet chosen to be kind and courageous. You felt terrible and admired Nikolai for growing up in a palace where he felt he did not belong, struggled to define himself outside the rumors and earn the love of his family and people when it should have been given unconditionally to him. 

You thought of a lonely boy who craved for acceptance and love, running away to fight in the front lines facing danger and death and becoming a privateer to find a semblance of a family could have at some point decided life was cruel and become a monster who was filled with bitterness and anger. And yet, Nikolai had faced the world with a bright smile and maintained a kind heart and a courageous soul to fight for the good of the world. 

You thought of Kaz who was completely different to Nikolai, Kaz who was full of vengeance and cruelty but his heart was still in the right place to people he cared about. You wondered whether Kaz could have chosen to be kind or whether he chose to become the Bastard of the Barrel to survive in this world and define himself by vengeance. But it was useless to ponder on such questions. It was what Kaz had needed to do to survive in the Barrel, right? If he hadn’t become the biggest and baddest of them all, he would have surely died. 

But yet looking at Nikolai, flickers of doubt started to tug at you. Could someone be full of hurt and pain and fight their way to the top while maintaining a semblance of kindness? What if Kaz had chosen to be a little kinder and softer, would he have loved you? 

There you were thinking of the Bastard of the Barrel again. 

And why on earth were you thinking of Nikolai again?

Your hand had unconsciously flown to your necklace as you were thinking of Kaz when Nikolai inquired curiously interrupting your thoughts “What’s that?”

You realized you were stroking the ring Kaz had given you and blushed a beetroot red in embarrassment as you stuttered “It’s - it’s - um - it’s my engagement ring. Saints! I mean - uh fake engagement ring Kaz gave me when he pretended to be my husband.”

“I see.” said Nikolai quietly feeling his heart break at the mention of you still wearing something Kaz Brekker had given you. It felt as if Kaz Brekker found a way to remind Nikolai that you were not Nikolai’s but Kaz Brekker’s girl. “May I see it?”

You nodded after a flicker of hesitation as you let Nikolai step closer toward you, his fingers lightly brushing against the skin of your neck electrifying you as he grasped the ring gently and examined it curiously and after a moment replied sassily “It’s nice. Not the ring I would have chosen for you. May I ask as to why you are still wearing it?”

“It’s difficult to explain.” you said biting your lip with a troubled look in your eyes as you looked into Nikolai’s quiet and gentle eyes that waited patiently for you. “The truth is... I don’t really know why I’m still wearing this ring after everything.”

“I know it’s over with Kaz Brekker and I know he will never love me. I know it was a fake engagement that I was stupid to believe was real. But for some reason... I keep holding onto this ring he gave me because... it’s special to me.” you said softly and thoughtfully as you thought of Kaz whose lips pulled into an unnoticeable soft smile when he looked at you and whose eyes glinted in amusement and affection whenever you made a joke. 

You looked at the silhouette of the crow as you traced the R engraved on the ring, blinking back tears with a heavy heart “It’s like - like I’m not ready yet. I’m not ready... I’m scared to take it off because I don’t know what will happen to me if I do. Because deep down, I know if I take if off, it will mean that I’m saying goodbye to everything I shared with Kaz Brekker. It’ll mean that all the memories, the good and bad times, everything we shared was all wrong and fake.”

“I’m just trying to hold onto the memories... I’m trying to hold onto him for as long as possible with the desperate hope that he see me one day.” you whispered, smiling amidst the pain and hurt you had tried to drink away tonight but resurfaced when you thought of Kaz. 

You took a deep breath as you stayed silent with Nikolai who looked at you feeling pain and hurt strike his heart at how much you loved Kaz and wondered whether there was a chance you could ever love him back as he said after a long moment “Y/N... I know you love Kaz Brekker and that bastard is incredibly lucky to be loved by you... but Y/N, are you really going to wait your whole life in tears and pain for him to see him while he ruins every moment of your life that you could be living the way you want to? Y/N, you’re trying everything to prove to him that you love him but he has only made you end in tears and heartbreak.”

 It was the truth you didn’t want to hear as you glared at him but he remained unaffected and steady, offering you the truth instead of sweet lies. 

“You are an amazing person. You care about his feelings more than yours. But you’re not holding onto him... you’re holding onto the pain because that’s all you have left. You deserve to let go and think about what you want and put yourself first. You deserve to be free and happy.” said Nikolai earnestly and honestly as he looked at you sincerely as your gaze softened with sadness and surprise because you had not thought of it “I hope one day... you’ll find yourself brave enough to let him go instead of clinging to a bastard who treats you poorly and breaks your heart. I hope one day... you’ll let yourself breathe and live for yourself.”

You were speechless as you realized Nikolai had spoken the truth that reached into the depths of your saddened soul that suddenly felt quietly inspired and Nikolai smiled gently “Until that day... I’ll be standing by you every step of the way.”

You were speechless as you stared at him in wonder and quiet surprise because it felt so strange to have a person care for you so deeply that he would tell you the real truth in a way that inspired, motivated, understood and comforted you. You didn’t know if you could ever let go of Kaz Brekker, let go of this overwhelming heartbreak and sadness you felt and wondered whether there would ever be a day where it would happen. 

“You’re right. But it feels impossible. Because he still has a hold on me. He always will.” you said weakly, your voice wavering in exhaustion and pain as you looked at Nikolai whose face was etched with concern. “He is more than the boy who broke my heart. He is the boy who saved me. And I know there is something in him worth saving too.”

“At the expense of your own happiness and good health?” queried Nikolai softly and gently, his heart clenching in hurt for you. “Saving him while you drown in despair and pain?”

You froze feeling angry and hurt, stung by Nikolai’s words because he had always been kind to you. You liked Nikolai because he was always full of kindness, comfort and goodness. He was never harsh and unkind. Now Nikolai was spitting the cruel truth to your face unflinchingly, remaining unaffected and steady as he took a dig at your deepest pain.

It felt as if he was patronizing you, believing that you would always be the girl who would drown in despair and hurt out of your love for Kaz Brekker. It felt like he was almost laughing at your deep love for Kaz Brekker and thought of you as a foolish, silly girl for clinging onto Kaz and not letting go. It was as if he thought he would be the one to save you from the grave you had dug for yourself while hiding his amusement at how deep you had fallen into your grave. 

It felt hurtful. It felt patronizing. It felt condescending. 

Most of all you just felt angry that it was Nikolai who was trying to help you when it should be Kaz Brekker who should be there for you. You wanted to yell in pain because there was so much pain searing in your heart. You wanted to kick and stab someone in your anger. You wanted to lash out at Kaz Brekker for making you this girl who was on your knees, weak with love for him. But Kaz Brekker wasn’t here and you lashed out at the only person who was here for you. 

“Don’t you speak to me again, you condescending, patronizing prat! You know what, I shouldn’t have told you anything thinking you’d understand!” you snapped angrily burning with rage that you wanted to unleash on Kaz Brekker but you shoved Nikolai instead hiding the tears in your eyes “Don’t - don’t ever come near me again!”

You blinked back the harsh tears that threatened to fall down your cheeks as you ran away wanting to be alone. You didn’t even know where you were going as you ran through the graveled paths, deeper and deeper into the gardens, feeling humiliated and heartbroken. You cursed the Bastard of the Barrel who had broken your heart and kept on hurting you over and over again. 

You breathed in the beauty of the night frozen in time right where it was left but before you could take a better look, oncoming footsteps drew your attention immediately. The air grew cold with fear and anticipation as you stiffened preparing yourself. The footsteps came closer to you but you were ready to take down the intruder who threatened your peace and probably life as you turned around and landed a punch on the intruder who groaned in pain, kicking him in the crotch as he doubled down in pain and wasted no time as you efficiently got him in a headlock, one of the knives you had drawn from under your dress glinting in the moonlight as you pressed it lightly on his throat. 

“Don’t beg for mercy. I have none.” you whispered dangerously and quietly “Who are you and who sent you?”

“It’s Nikolai Lantsov, the King of your heart! Saints, you are so murderous... do it more.” whispered Nikolai huskily with a flirty smirk under your grip as he breathed, his heart beating rapidly. 

You couldn’t believe your ears as you realized the mop of blonde hair and the smooth and flirty voice belonged to no one except Nikolai “WHAT? WHY ARE YOU HERE?”

“I came here to see if you were okay but obviously that’s not important anymore.” groaned Nikolai under your grip because you still had not released him out of shock as he let out a gladdened and lovestruck sigh “Could you choke me tighter? I’m loving where I’m right now.”

You released him blushing at the sexual innuendos he was implying as you glared at him fiercely while he brushed his coat regally as he coughed, slightly red in the face and you snapped at him in exasperation “OI! I told you to stay away from me!”

Nikolai looked quite calm for a man who had just been punched, kicked and nearly strangled to death as he replied rubbing his reddened cheek and nose with a cheeky smile “I didn’t listen.”

You raised your eyebrows at him knowingly in exasperation “You do that quite a lot.”

“That’s why you like me.” retorted Nikolai with a cheeky and bright grin, his hazel eyes twinkling in knowing and amusement. 

“Who says I like you?” you retorted in annoyance and irritation but for some unfathomable reason, warmth flared on your cheeks as your stomach flipped. 

Nikolai only responded with a wink and a good humored grin that made you feel shy and conscious of yourself as you looked away from him. You were still angry but not at him. You had been irrational and cruel to the very person who was trying to help you because you had been too busy drowning in the depressing thoughts of Kaz Brekker, the boy who broke your heart. 

“I’m sorry.” you blurted out quickly because guilt nagged at your mind and heart at lashing out at Nikolai who had looked hurt at your words. “I’m so sorry. You weren’t patronizing or condescending, you were trying to help and - and I was angry at Kaz but I took it out on you. I don’t expect you to forgive me but I want you to know that I’m so sorry.”

Nikolai wore an inscrutable expression that scared you because you didn’t know what he was thinking. Nikolai stepped toward you and looked deeply into your eyes. In a moment, his expression softened into one of forgiveness and gentleness as he smiled softly and kindly as he caressed your cheek tenderly “You are always forgiven, beloved. I’m only glad that you felt safe enough to take it out on me.”

“I don’t deserve a friend like you.” you said, your voice cracking in heavy emotion of disbelief and shock as tears sprung into your eyes at feeling the depth of how much Nikolai cared for you, a person who didn’t deserve it. 

“Y/N, I’m terribly sorry but I am exactly who you deserve.” replied Nikolai with a bright and tender smile understanding that you had acted out of grief and not out of malice

He wiped away your tears and pulled you in for a warm hug as he wished that you would see that what you deserved was standing right in front of you, holding you in his arms and after a long moment he said softly “I want to understand you. Why were you so angry when I suggested you should let go of Kaz Brekker?”

“Because - because for all his faults, Kaz Brekker is the reason who I am today. Kaz was the first person who believed I wasn’t weak. Kaz showed me that I’m a dangerous and powerful girl, a force to be reckoned with!” you exclaimed passionately as you looked at Nikolai, your heart beating with pain and reminiscence of Kaz teaching you how to survive in the Barrel and advising you when you fell down, believing in you when you were frustrated with yourself and looking at you with that rare approving and happy gleam in his eyes when you performed extraordinarily well. 

Your voice cracked as you felt broken and wrong “Without him... who am I? I don’t know who I am without him. I’ll be nobody if he didn’t see me.”

Nikolai was shocked because that was not what he expected out of you but as he looked at you, his heart pounded in pain and understanding for you as he said after a moment “When I became the King of Ravka, I believed I didn’t deserve my throne. Not truly. Because it wasn’t me who had extinguished the Fold and brought peace at last. It was the Sun Summoner, Sankta Alina who everyone believed in me that achieved the goal. I thought I was nothing without her. I wouldn’t have made it that far without her.”

“That’s not true.” you said immediately because you knew it was wrong immediately “You are a great King. I’ve seen how you are as King. You care so much about people that you bled for them in the battlefield, you smile and give them hope for a better future and you’ll do anything to hold everything together to stop your kingdom falling apart. The people might have had faith in Alina but you’re the one who rallied them all together and gave them hope for a better future, a better Ravka with a King who would not repeat the failures of the past.”

Nikolai felt moved as his heart swelled with gratitude and surprise at being seen by you and felt a lump of emotion swell in his throat as he replied after a moment “Well, you seem to be full of compliments for me today.”

“I don’t give compliments. I tell the truth.” you said with a scowl making Nikolai chuckle and you punched him in the arm playfully “Stop, you’re going to be so insufferable now!”

“Well according to you, I’m already insufferable and I’m never going to stop being insufferable with you!” exclaimed Nikolai with a teasing grin as he hugged you with a heart full warmth and happiness as you squealed at the sudden hug but welcomed it with a laugh. 

You both laughed together and as the laughter subsided, Nikolai looked at you seriously “You think of me so highly, with so much of faith. You believe that I was equally important as Alina. Why don’t you believe the same about yourself? Why don’t you believe that despite Kaz Brekker, you have always been a strong girl who had a fire within you and kind heart? A girl who would find a way out of the darkness into the light?”

“I - I -” you stuttered in shock and disbelief as you racked your brains trying to find the answer but you were lost for words as you stared at Nikolai who was gazing at you in utmost faith and complete belief. 

“The answer to your dilemma is the same as mine.” stated Nikolai gently and firmly after a few moments as he caressed your cheek gently and softly, his fingers tingling feeling sparks of joy at the contact “You are who you are in spite of Kaz Brekker. Kaz Brekker may have shown you what you can do but everything you did, all the challenges you faced, all the times you won and became stronger after each battle.... all those achievements are yours and yours only. You never needed Kaz Brekker to become great. It was him that needed you.”

You were speechless as your heart pounded loudly and your thoughts raced frantically as you tried to remember. You tried to remember who you were in Ketterdam before Kaz Brekker had entered your life. It was murky and the memories began to resurface in wisps but you remembered being untethered and free, unemployed by the Bastard of Barrel. You remembered you were a girl who had a deceivingly calm composure, a charming smile and an instinct to observe sharply and react at the right time.

"I remember." you murmured softly as you remembered how you would blend into the crowd and be a ghost, a different version you needed to be to deceive others in order for you to gain information and help people and the sharp perceptiveness and curiosity you possessed with the spirit of wanting to make a difference.

You remembered how you helped people with your skills, finding out where there missing children were, who their spouse was sleeping with, helping children in abused homes flee to a safe place, investigating deaths and disappearances as you found yourself tugging on threads of cruelty and corruption in the city, finding proof on people who were wrongfully convicted to be set free. You had done some good, reunited friends and family, saved lives and made people smile again as they owed you debts of gratitude before Kaz Brekker came to your life.

You weren't powerful but you were dangerous and strong in your own right.

Had you really forgotten that?

"I had forgotten who I was before him. Now I remember... little bits and pieces of it." you murmured in wonder and reminiscence as you looked at Nikolai feeling incredibly shocked and taken aback that he had helped you find a part of you that you had almost lost.

Nikolai smiled as he realized that you were slowly beginning to find yourself "It would be an honour to know who you were before Kaz Brekker...but you're not obliged to tell me."

"Perhaps one day... I'll tell you when I remember everything." you murmured softly, your eyes quietly and gratefully promising him.

“I shall count days until then.” said Nikolai earnestly with a lovely smile that made your heart skip a beat as you suddenly realized how utterly and completely beautiful he was. “That’s the beautiful thing about letting go... you get to create your new beginning and find a new dream.”

“A new dream...” you murmured, the very sensation of it feeling strange to you as you thought of the novel idea of letting go of Kaz and leaving Ketterdam to find something different and new, a dream of your own that you didn’t yet know. “That’s sounds lovely. What’s yours?”

“What?” queried Nikolai in alarm and surprise because he had been too busy staring at you lovestruck and lost in dreams of holding your hand in his and dancing with you. 

“Your new dream. You told me once that you dream of a Ravka that will never fail its people. But you must have your own dream... a new dream?” you inquired curiously as you looked at Nikolai wanting to know everything about him because this boy who shouldered the burden of a nation with a heavy golden crown smiling brightly but had such vulnerability and kindness to him that you had not seen him display in public fascinated you.

You saw him smile hesitant and reluctant to reply as you nudged him “Come on! I can see you have your dreams. I won’t laugh, I promise.”

“I dream of you...” thought Nikolai longingly his lips tugging into a smile of affection and adoration as he gazed at you. But his heart beat rapidly, and he felt too scared to confess the overwhelming enormity of his affection for you because he could lose you forever. 

And yet he wanted more than anything for you to know his dream that he hid from the rest of the world.

“I have a dream... an unfulfilled and new dream that I persist on dreaming it even thought it seems like it can never come true. I dream of a happy home, with laughter of children who are loved more than they know, friends who will always be there and... a  wonderful wife with whom I am deeply in love with and share a blessed, happy and blissful relationship that will always stand through adversity” said Nikolai slowly and softly as he gazed at you, his hazel eyes burning with meaningful longing and aching hope that frightened and excited you as you inhaled a sharp breath “I dream about holding her hand and growing old together, dancing in the rain and spending our lifetime together full of adventures and love unburdened by meaningless things.”

You suddenly felt an aching in your heart as you felt the warmth and beauty of the vision that Nikolai had painted and you felt a sharp jab of pain that you didn’t understand at the thought of Nikolai living this beautiful dream with another girl as you replied softly and sincerely “That’s beautiful. I hope your dream does come true, Nikolai. I really hope you find someone that you will live your dream together.”

“I have found her. But I’m waiting for her to see me.” said Nikolai quietly and sincerely after a moment as he gazed at you intensely with worship and affection and your cheeks flooded into a warm red as you realized what he might be implying and you simply didn’t know how to feel about that “She’s smart, a fighter, loyal, and has this heart full of kindness and love. And she’s so enchanting. I feel like since she came to life, I have begun to hope and dream more than I ever did."

"But you know, she's rather rude, punches me in the nose, nearly stopped me from producing an heir and gets mad at me when I try to show her how I feel and completely in love with this guy who doesn't understand how awesome she is." said Nikolai honestly and sincerely, his heart pounding as he took a risk with his feelings and glanced at you who had frozen and yet was smiling in amusement, your eyes glinting in pain and worry "I wish she could just see me."

You were silent as the loudness of your heart mingled with the aftermath of his veiled confession hit you hard like a ton of bricks. You liked Nikolai. You really, really liked him. For all his flaws, he had become your rock and your safe place without you even realizing it from the moment you had met him. Nikolai was a good man and a friend who you cared for so much but you couldn't and didn't feel this way for him. You could never love Nikolai Lantsov the way he wanted you to love him.

But hopefully, he wasn’t talking about you. He was Nikolai Lantsov, the King of Ravka! He met many people on a daily basis! You weren’t special to him! 

Yes, that could be it. It wasn’t you he was talking about. It was another girl whose name you didn’t want to know and face you never wanted to see. 

“Well... she sounds completely awful. There’s a chance she’s going to break your heart and make you cry. You shouldn’t have hope. It’s dangerous and clouds your judgement.” you said sternly and quietly as you felt your own experience and memories surface “If she doesn’t see you, you should move on and find someone better. Don’t wait around for someone who won’t see you.”

“Maybe hope is dangerous and foolish. But whenever I’m with her, I know I’ll wait an entire lifetime for her to see me.” replied Nikolai softly with a gentle and yearning smile that made you feel hot and you tried to push away the thoughts that perhaps he was talking about you “She’s worth the wait.”

“Oh my Saints! You are absolutely lovestruck idiot! What if - she breaks your heart and falls in love with someone else? What if she doesn’t love you back and goes on with her life?” you exclaimed as you slapped Nikolai in his chest as you were exasperated and annoyed at him for liking this hypothetical princess so much to the point of giving up everything “Mark my words, I speak out of experience... you are setting up yourself for heartbreak with this princess of yours.”

“Consider your words marked, Oh Wise One. I love her so much that a part of me doesn’t care if she loves me back. Her happiness is way worth more than making her mine.” said Nikolai as he gazed at you lovingly tucking a strand of your hair behind your ears “All those princesses chasing me doesn’t mean a thing because there’s only her.”

“You really love her, don’t you?” you asked feeling self - conscious, praying to all the Saints that the girl wasn’t you.

Nikolai’s smile of longing, affection and sadness was enough to answer your question as you smiled quietly, feeling a slight stab of pain at the fact that it wasn’t you despite the gladness “Well... I just think this girl needs some time to see what’s really in front of her.”

Nikolai’s heart fluttered with dangerous hope as he saw you gazing at him sweetly and gently with an aching sad yet quiet longing and understanding as he felt breathless but you grinned up at him with a new idea in your mind.

“Oh!” you exclaimed in wonder and childlike awe making startling Nikolai who jumped back at your energy “Oh, I know! You’re Sturmhound, the pirate, right? Tell me everything!  I’m dying to know all about it! Is it really true you have a flying ship?”

“Darling, I’m a privateer. That is an important distinction.” said Nikolai grinning at your enthusiasm as he regaled you “No, it’s not true about me having a flying ship.”

You looked so disappointed Nikolai wished he hadn’t said that as he corrected you with a proud smile “I have a fleet of flying ships.”

“Saints! Why did you become a privateer? Other than running away to find where you belong?” you questioned eagerly and curiously, hungry to know about his life as a privateer. 

“Well, a prince is a songbird in a golden cage. A privateer has freedom to decide his own fate and find where he belongs. I loved my life at sea that gave me freedom but I always planned to come back to Ravka.” stated Nikolai with a sincere and quiet smile. 

“Tell me about your adventures! What was your favorite one? I’m dying to know all about it! Have you really traveled all over the world? Is it really true that you deceived the Darkling and hunted the Sea Whip?” you questioned, your eyes bright with curiosity and wonder as you looked at Nikolai with enthusiasm.

Nikolai was one to boast of his adventures and yet he was uncertain as to where to begin with you but the questions you fired at him eased him into a direction of describing his adventures on sea where he sailed with his crew, fought pirates, explored different lands, got into trouble and had extraordinary adventures. You had different questions bubbling with eager curiosity that Nikolai was only too happy to answer as he felt content speaking about his time as Sturmhound that he cherished. In return, Nikolai was full of questions about your life and role in Ketterdam with the Crows and you provided colorful and vivid descriptions of stories of dark danger, near death experiences and amazing adventures and heists that you enjoyed being part of greatly with your friends who you loved. Both of you talked endlessly and comfortably with each other about your lives, full of curiosity and respect for each other, eager to learn from and understand each other. 

You both had lost track of time as you talked and laughed with each other as you nudged him “I’ve always wanted to be a pirate. I’ve always thought being a pirate would be so fun! Not just a pirate but a captain of the most feared pirate ship! But it’s a silly dream.”

“As a privateer, I am deeply offended at your remark, my lady.” replied Nikolai pretending to be offended as he grinned easily “Why is it a silly dream?”

“Well, I’m not a pirate. I don’t know how to sail. I don’t have a ship. Pirates are not taken kindly by pompous privateers.” you retorted with a teasing grin as your eyes twinkled with good humor making Nikolai laugh in amusement “And I can’t leave Ketterdam.”

Nikolai knew that she truly meant that she couldn’t leave Kaz Brekker and looked at her with a smooth and sincere smile “I’ll teach you how to sail one day. We’ll go out on the ocean and have our great adventure. And one day, I have a feeling you’ll become an infamous pirate who everyone knows of. And don’t worry love, I hope you become a pirate because when you conquer the seas and try to attack me... I’ll be on my knees begging for you.”

You blushed bright red at what Nikolai implied as you found no proper sentence in your brain that had stopped functioning as you finally snapped to a grinning devilish Nikolai “Do you - stop doing that!”

“What? I like it when you blush.” replied Nikolai wearing an innocent expression but his eyes were twinkling with a devilish gleam. “You would look so amazing in a pirate’s outfit...”

You snorted in amusement as you shook your head at Nikolai “You have a set of strange kinks rooted in deep seated desires, don’t you?”

Nikolai’s eyes glimmered in amusement “I am more than happy to demonstrate my list of kinks to you.”

“No, thank you, please torture someone else.” you replied coolly as you shuddered while Nikolai threw his head back in laughter. 

“Well, I could do that but it’s so fun to torture you.” replied Nikolai playfully as he blushed when you brushed against him, his skin setting on fire with desire and longing. 

“Bold last words for a man who is about to lose his spleen.” you replied darkly as you glared at a laughing Nikolai trying your best to scowl but you found your lips twitching into a small smile. 

Nikolai shot a challenging look to you “You don’t even know where my spleen is.”

“Don’t test me, prat. You’re tempting me to prove you wrong.” you said with a wicked grin as you stepped toward him with glimmers of danger sparkling in your eyes.

Nikolai stepped back as he placed his hands in surrender and fell to his knees “Oh Captain Y/L/N, please spare my spleen and my life! In exchange, I’ll give my heart to you!”

“You are absolutely ridiculous!” you exclaimed trying to hide your blushing face as you tossed your hair and started to walk away. “Absolutely mental!”

“You always walk away when we have an emotional moment, darling!” exclaimed Nikolai loudly and dramatically while you controlled your amused and delighted laughter as he ran toward you trying to catch up with you. 

You shoved him lightly and playfully as you shook your head at him fondly as he said after a moment of silence “Do you think that’s your new dream? Being a pirate?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.” you said softly as you were lost in thought “All I know is being a spy. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Good spies don’t let anyone they are spies.” said Nikolai cleverly as he looked at you. 

You winked at him “The greatest one don’t need to hide themselves. It’s up to you to play the game with us.”

“You can never trust a spy. And a spy can never trust anyone. It must be a lonely existence to be detached from the rest of the world.” said Nikolai honestly and smartly as he looked at your serious and solemn expression. 

“No. That’s where everyone gets it wrong.” you said with a clever smirk as you looked at Nikolai who raised his eyebrows in curiosity “The best spies have a trick... a trick that always helps them win in the end.”

“What is it?”

“Now if I told you, I wouldn’t be much of a spy, would I?”

The trick was to figure out who could be trusted in this world. Trust is a double edged sword. It could be used to your advantage when needed. You had learned that it is a lonely existence to live without trusting anyone because to live without trusting anyone meant to live without people who would back you up when you were in trouble. That’s what most people got wrong. They believed trusting no one protected them. Knowing who to trust and when to use that trust to your advantage, that’s what truly protected and empowered you. 

“Can I trust you?” queried Nikolai curiously with a twinkle in his hazel eyes. 

“If you like.” you answered vaguely with a playful smile as you looked over at him with an amused twinkle in your eyes. 

Nikolai knew about you through what Nina had told him and he wanted to know more about you “Nina says you’re one of the best spies she’s ever known. Why do you like being a spy?” 

“Well, you can always pull the grandest con, and perform dazzling magic tricks to steal what’s most precious to people... their secrets while flirting with life and death and being absolutely forgettable to the people who have the memory span of goldfish.” you said airily and calmly with a clever and witty smirk that amazed and enchanted Nikolai who could see your charm, beauty and cleverness played a part in making you a spy who could get away with anything. 

“Is this a con?” asked Nikolai feeling slightly insecure because he believed that you wouldn’t lie to him but your nature as a spy and his position as a king put them both in an awkward position. 

To his surprise, you weren’t mad and offended but grinned “Finally, you’re thinking like a real king would. You tell me... do I seem like someone who would trick you?”

“You seem like someone who enjoys tricking anyone as long as you are in charge of your own fate.” replied Nikolai lightly and perceptively, his hazel eyes burning with longing and admiration as he looked at you. 

You looked at him in surprise as you nodded in agreement “You do know me.”

“You still didn’t answer my question. Is this... our relation - friendship real?” demanded Nikolai, his voice slightly wavering in insecurity and uncertainty even though he still held onto the belief you wouldn’t trick him but the ghosts of his past haunted him. 

You realized this was important to Nikolai as you took a step toward him and placed your hands on his shoulders, your eyes intense and sincere as you whispered softly “You are... you, Nikolai Lantsov... is the only person who I don’t want to be dishonest with. You terrify me because you are the only person who makes me feel like a girl who is seen... not a spy who hides away wearing different masks.”

Nikolai couldn’t breathe, he was certain he was having a cardiac arrest. Maybe this was a dream... a really good dream that he didn’t want to wake up from. This couldn’t be real because there you were holding him as he inhaled the soft notes of your perfume that haunted him, as you looked at him earnestly and sincerely with complete vulnerability as you told him nothing but the truth. He couldn’t describe the relief and joy that flooded him as he heard those blessed words fall from your lips, glad that this was real... not a trick cruelly played on him. 

“You’re beautiful.” whispered Nikolai breathlessly as he stared at you adoringly and reverently, because you were his Saint who he worshipped and believed in “You are absolutely divine.”

You felt your heart stop and your breath quicken at how intensely adoringly and affectionately Nikolai was gazing at you as if he had never seen anyone and anything as beautiful as you are as you felt self conscious and shy full of denial “Nikolai...”

“No, don’t you dare say that you are not beautiful. I only wish you could see what I see, Y/N.” whispered Nikolai huskily and softly as he reached to slowly caress your cheek, igniting shivers that ran down your spine as you held your breath “You are so enchanting that I feel you’re a Goddess in an impossible dream that the Saints have chosen to torment me, you dangerous girl.”

You couldn’t breathe or think but only felt Nikolai worship you with all consuming reverence and admiration, overwhelming adoration and affection that was only reserved for beautiful Goddesses and pretty princesses. You felt fragile and beautiful, precious and important as your eyes fluttered shut to feel and live in this moment that felt so wrong because Nikolai was your friend and yet, selfishly, you wanted something more from him. 

You didn’t understand this feeling. 

Your eyes fluttered open as you gazed at Nikolai with curiosity and shy nervousness as he stared at you as if there was nothing compared to you and he smiled, the sight of you making him weak “Y/N... I have something to show you... something that I want to share with you.”

Perhaps you should have refused because you loved Kaz but thoughts of Kaz Brekker eluded you in that moment as you stared at Nikolai, a shy boy who offered his hand nervously yet resolutely to you, waiting hopefully for you and you smiled widely as you took his hand in yours, your fingers intertwining perfectly and gently with his fingers that held onto your hand as if he couldn’t believe this was real. 

Nikolai Lantsov thought he was going to faint and die of happiness when you took his hand with that enchanting smile. Oh Saints, he was going to die before he married you if you kept looking at him with that soft and kind look in your eyes, as he felt the warmth of your hand radiate in his.

You looked at Nikolai who looked calm and composed wearing a joyful smile but internally Nikolai Lantsov was screaming happily and jumping up and down in excitement. 

In companionable silence, Nikolai led you toward a stone wall with lovely white roses curling on it as an old wooden door awaited you. Nikolai opened the old wooden door that creaked with welcome and chivalrously let you enter and stepped in closing the door as you looked around the garden. 

You breathed in the divine beauty of the garden that was frozen in time right where it was left. There were pillars and walls covered with green and dark vines and creepers of purple, pink and pure white flowers. There was a bubbling fountain with an ancient statue of a pretty lady holding a puppy in her arms. There was a untamed and untended wilderness of bushes and trees full of vividly wild and colorful flowers beyond your imagination that took your breath away. As you tumbled through the rusty gates and grand arches, you saw a old table with fine china tea set and napkins that had been long used covered in leaves and wilted flower crowns lying on the table. You smiled when you spotted a simple and ethereal childish tree house lodged on top of a tree. There were ponds and fountains everywhere in this vast garden and as you made your way through a garden of brightly colored cherry blossoms, you saw two swings with pretty flowers curling around the rope as they faced the view of a beautiful shimmering lake.

It was absolutely breathtaking. It was as if Nikolai had realized you were losing faith in fairytales and helped you step into this magical, ancient, wild garden that was timeless and beautiful in it’s own way, haunted by memories and ghosts. 

“It’s... it’s a fairytale!” you exclaimed in amazement and wonder as you looked at Nikolai who smiled widely and softly squeezing your hand gently “Nikolai... it’s magnificent!”

“This is my secret spot. It’s special to me. This is where I come when I want to be alone.” said Nikolai quietly and sincerely as he saw you look at him in surprise and wonder “You’re the second person I’ve been here alone with.”

“Not the direction where I thought this was going.” you said lightly with a chuckle feeling surprised and moved that he brought you to a place where he wanted to be alone and slightly jealous of the person who was here with Nikolai before you.

Nikolai laughed happily as he led you to the swing where you sat down feeling childish and playful and Nikolai sat on the swing next to you, with a reminiscent and bittersweet smile, his expression thoughtful and sincere as he looked over at you as you both giggled swinging like kids on the swings. 

“This used to be my favorite place in the world... this was mother’s secret garden. She suffered neglect in her marriage and wasn’t always happy but this was where she was the happiest, I believe.” said Nikolai honestly and reminiscently as the words suddenly spilled out of his mouth, remembering his mother who he had been fond of but had to exile. Nikolai didn’t notice you stiffen in surprise at the shocking revelation as you realized that this place was sacred to him. “Where we were the happiest together. She was the first person who I arrived to in this garden.”

“No one had time for me but when my mother had time for me, she’d bring me here. She used to say it was our magic garden where nothing outside mattered at all in here.” said Nikolai with bittersweet reminiscence as he stared at the shimmering lake shining under the moonlight remembering how he had given his mother heart attacks when he jumped into the lake and swam.

“We had the best times in here. I remember we used to spend hours playing hide and seek, building the tree house, laughing on these swings and having tea parties. She called me her sobachka.” said Nikolai with a fond smile as he felt the good and warm memories engulf him like a tidal wave, his heart feeling the pang of bittersweet “After I... after I exiled her because of how she violated her duty... I haven’t been here since then. But it’s just how I remember it. The fountains, the trees, the flowers, the swings... like nothing has changed. Not true, of course. Everything has changed. If I could bring my mother here, she wouldn’t recognize most of it because I haven’t had anyone touch this place. She wouldn’t recognize me.”

“I know it won’t mean much but I am sorry.” you said softly after a long moment of stunned and speechless silence where you had been shocked and moved by Nikolai’s vulnerable and real revelations of his childhood he confided in you “It must be hard.”

“It was the right thing to do for Ravka. If Ravka is to change, it must start with me.” said Nikolai steadily and strongly, no hint of vulnerability and insecurity noticeable but you observed a hint of exhaustion hidden deeply in those wonderful hazel eyes. 

“Well, that’s good for the King of Ravka. But... you are Nikolai, a man with a beating heart that feels deeply.” you said quietly and observantly, gentleness and understanding etched onto your face as you looked at Nikolai “You’re only human.”

“Well, sometimes the man does contemplate on his past and feels... feels human. Fragile and breakable and remembers too much and feels too much pain. Losing my mother who really knew me meant gaining Ravka. I just didn’t know it would be this lonely and painful.” replied Nikolai as he blinked back the tears that sprung into his eyes at how you could see through his act and smiled shakily “But I try not to dwell on the past but focus on the future with hope.” 

You didn’t have any words for him because you were not certain that any amount of words could comfort him as you stayed silent patting his back gently as he brushed away his tears “I didn’t come here after the war. I didn’t want anything changed in this garden. I don’t know why.”

“Well, it’s because this garden is sacred to you. It’s full of memories with your mother who you loved and didn’t live up to your expectations. The only person who knew and accepted you at the time. You’re holding onto her the only way you can... you’re holding onto the pain and grief because that’s all you have left.” you said sincerely and softly after a long moment of silence as your hand rubbed his back gently, your eyes warm and understanding repeating Nikolai’s words to him. 

Nikolai who was stunned at how you put his feelings into words properly found himself smiling brightly through his tears “I love it when you quote me.”

You both chuckled as silence reigned over you and you quietly reached over and slowly took his hand in yours surprising him. You held his hand in yours tenderly and gently, hoping he would understand that you were there for him as you smiled warmly at him, giving him hope and courage. 

“This is the first time I’ve been here since exiling my mother... with you. I wanted - I’ve hidden this place for so long but I wanted to share it with you.” confessed Nikolai sincerely with a rosy blush as he stared at you adoringly and reverently with a warm smile “Sometimes the bitter past is sweeter when you share it with a very special person.”

You couldn’t stop smiling happily as you squeezed Nikolai’s hand tightly because this felt precious to you. This was Nikolai laying down his armor and letting down his guard with you as he shared something incredibly intimate and sacred to him with you. It felt as if Nikolai trusted you with his heart to show and tell you something so private and special and you felt honored. You promised yourself you wouldn’t break this trust that felt precious and beautiful. It was nice that he had shown who he was rather than who he pretended to be to everyone. 

You were rendered speechless with emotion and Nikolai gazed at you with a warm smile “I want you to have this garden. This is yours as much as it is mine now.”

You began to protest because this was Nikolai’s sacred place and you couldn’t take something so precious to him when he shook his head and silenced you “Please. Don’t say anything. Just know that this garden is yours to enjoy now.”

You felt touched as your heart filled up with such emotion at how Nikolai easily made you feel important. It was as if he was gifting a piece of him to you hoping that you would cherish and protect it. As both of you sat in swings, swinging in silence occasionally talking and laughing with each other. Nikolai felt the air grow colder as the sky grew dark with storm clouds but he didn’t want this night to ever end. And he knew he would regret it for the rest of the life if he didn’t say these next words. 

“Y/N... it would give me the greatest pleasure if you could do me the honor of - uh - um -” stuttered Nikolai nervous and shy as he gazed hopefully at your beautiful and kind face full of curiosity and anticipation, your eyes dancing with mischief and surprise as you looked at him make a fool of himself in front of you “Uh - that is to say - I want - I mean, will you do the honor of -”

Okay, this was going terribly and Nikolai wanted the earth to open and swallow him as he saw you raise your eyebrows at him. You probably thought he was having a stroke. 

You looked at him softly in pleasant surprise and hope, your eyes full of light and warmth as you completed what he had begun “Dance with you?”

“Yes... that’s exactly it!” exclaimed Nikolai letting out a breath of relief feeling like a complete idiot in front of you because the corners of your lips twitched slightly but your eyes were full of fondness and surprise “Will you please dance with me?”

You grinned brightly as you nodded your head in agreement. Nikolai’s hands were shaking as he placed his hand gently on your waist. He had to force himself to stop screaming in joy when you held his hand and placed your other hand on his shoulder, as he felt breathless at how close both of you were. The light distant notes of the music in the ball echoed as both of you started to dance together.

You wanted to look away but there was something so magnetic and enticing about Nikolai, something that you hadn’t seen before. You had danced before as you remembered how you had attacked Nina who was a phenomenal dancer to teach you how to dance for your first mission. Nina had been surprised as to why you wanted to learn how to dance quickly but she had taught you well along with Jesper. You remembered how Nina would instruct you over and over again while Matthias encouraged you, Jesper and Inej teased you while Wylan played the piano as Kaz’ lips twitched in amusement at how spectacularly you were failing.

You had become quite a proficient and graceful dancer in time thanks to Nina’s and Jesper’s tutoring. For your missions you had danced many times at different galas and balls with countless partners who didn’t have any rhythm or pushed you around the dance floor instead of guiding you. You had never danced with someone that wanted to truly dance with you and cherish the moment. You had never experienced this thrilling, enchanting feeling of being wanted and safe in someone’s arms while spinning and twirling. 

You didn’t understand why Nikolai was smiling at you so beautifully and why you felt so safe in his arms. 

“What are you doing?” you asked Nikolai because you wanted him to undo whatever he was doing to you.

“Dancing with you, love.” said Nikolai with a bright grin that made your heart pound in excitement and thrill. 

“Why aren’t you dancing with the rest of the princesses who are waiting for you?” you queried careful to keep any hint of jealousy or hurt you might have felt out of your voice. 

“Because I only want to dance with you.” said Nikolai softly and gently with such sincerity and earnestness that you were rendered speechless and then his eyes twinkled in delight “Though I must admit, I am flattered you granted me this dance. I observed you breaking the hearts of every eligible gentlemen at the ball tonight by refusing to dance with them.”

You scowled making Nikolai grin in amusement as he spun you around as you said “They didn’t really want me. And besides, I didn’t want to dance with any of those men with terrible breath and egos larger than their dicks.”

Nikolai couldn’t stop laughing outright as tears of delight and happiness sprung into his eyes “You have such a unique way of saying things. A poet in your own right.”

You laughed as he drew you closer to you as you felt dizzy in a good way. His touch on your waist, his hand holding yours radiated comfort and warmth, a promise of safety that was never going to be broken. You didn’t feel as if you were guided by him, Nikolai was a good dancer who had perfect rhythm and didn’t push you around the floor. Dancing with Nikolai felt as if you were floating on air, your feet light and blissful as you craved for more, wanting to dance with him under the moonlight forever. 

You both could hear the distant melody echoing from the palace ballroom as a singer’s voice crooned from a distance “No, I won't be afraid, no, I won't be afraid just as long as you stand, stand by me.”

You could feel your heart beat fast as you looked at Nikolai who held you like a promise as he looked at you with such staggering affection and sincerity twirling you around as he caught you in his arms with a gentle and loving smile as the singer crooned “So darlin', darlin', stand by me.  Oh, stand by me Oh, stand Stand by me, stand by me.”

This moment felt intimate and quietly blissful. You looked at him and saw his face expressing nothing but steadfast promise to always be there for you no matter what. A lump of emotion formed in your throat and you knew in that moment that this ridiculous, beautiful, wonderful boy would always have you and nothing could ever change the fact that you would stand by him.

Nikolai felt blessed as a man to hold you in his arms and dance with you tonight as you smiled at him with that smile you smiled when you felt truly happy and content. He had never felt this way about anyone. Nikolai cherished this moment as you rested your head on his chest, swaying gently and Nikolai swore his heart beat skyrocketed at the fact that the woman he loved, who was incomparable and wonderful was in his arms resting his head on his chest. 

You took in a deep breath as you looked at Nikolai shyly “I’ve never done this before.”

Nikolai was confused “Danced?”

“No. I mean, I’ve danced with plenty of men who think they are the greatest of all time. But I mean, I’ve always danced for missions, for the purpose of completing a task. I’ve never had the pleasure of enjoying and having fun at a dance... I’ve never danced with someone I like who likes me back.” you confessed feeling foolish and shy as you averted your gaze at the last moment, blushing at confiding your little secret to Nikolai. 

“Then I shall endeavor to make this night unforgettable.” said Nikolai honestly and gladly, happy that this was the first time you were dancing properly for fun without any purpose and it was with him. You had chosen him. “May I ask what’s made you like me?”

You shot him an exasperated glare that made him smirk widely in amusement “Really? I can’t believe you. I might just step on your feet.”

“You wouldn’t do - OW, SAINTS MY FEEBLE FOOT!” exclaimed Nikolai who had begun teasing you but regretted it the very moment your high heel poked him in the foot very sharply “Alright, it’s a mercy all those men survived dancing with you.”

Nikolai regretted the words slipping out of his mouth because the moment he said that, your high heels stamped him with vengeance “OWW - FOR THE LOVE OF RAVKA - HOW THE HELL DID YOU MANAGE TO STEP ON AND INCAPACITATE BOTH OF MY FEET, WOMAN?”

“I’m really enjoying this dance. It’s so fun!” you exclaimed with a wide grin amused and delighted at Nikolai’s dramatic reactions and you grinned brightly when he shot you a childish and petulant look.

“Oh yes, laugh at my pain. You sadistic she - devil, you enjoy others pain so much.” retorted Nikolai surly trying to be serious and petulant but you were laughing outrageously and his lips twitched happily “My poor, poor, feet.”

“You are a war hero and you cannot survive this dance?” you queried sweetly as you batted your eyelashes.

“You remind me of a cavalry horse who stepped on the feet of officers who he didn’t like.” said Nikolai as he nursed the pain in his foot and then realized the ungentlemanly tone of what he had said as he quickly scrambled “I beg your pardon Y/N, I didn’t mean to imply you were heavier than a cavalry horse -”

But you were laughing in amusement as you shook your head fondly at Nikolai. You felt really happy and alive and wondered how many moments in your life you felt this incandescently happy. You remembered the memories with the Crows where you felt the thrill of undertaking a new adventure, the moments shared with Kaz that you thought meant something but this moment with Nikolai felt very different and special to you than the rest of them.

The lightning flashed in the night sky and the drops of rain began to relentlessly fall down upon you. You couldn’t help but smile as you hugged Nikolai in happiness as you felt the raindrops soak you thoroughly but you didn’t care as you and Nikolai laughed and danced in the rain. Thunder grumbled and lightning flashed as the storm raged on but you both were perfectly happy as you ran through the gardens childishly and laughed happily and danced joyfully and happily in each other’s arms because there was nowhere else you both would rather be. 

And late into the morning as both of you stumbled into the castle giggling and Nikolai walked you to the palace, his coat draped over you, you realized you hadn’t thought of Kaz Brekker at all when you were with Nikolai and most importantly, you didn’t now care as much as you did before. It felt strange and new as you looked at Nikolai rambling about a new invention of his and your lips tugged into a soft smile at how your cheeks were aching from smiling and your stomach hurt from laughing so much. You had missed being happy. 

Perhaps every long lost dream and every time your heart broke was a northern star that had guided and led you to Nikolai Lantsov, the man who had a heart full of kindness and love.

You didn’t want to think about falling in love again, but you were glad to have a true friend who understood you in ways that no one ever did. 

And when Nikolai saw you off at your chamber, you looked at him with a strange and quiet look in your eyes as you said “Thank you. For tonight. It was everything.”

Nikolai smiled enchantingly as his eyes twinkled with affection and longing for you “You are welcome. But I must thank you for making this ball the best night of my life.”

“Go inside and get warm. I don’t want you catching a cold.” said Nikolai fussing over you as he took his handkerchief and started to use it as a towel as he scrubbed your hair in worry trying to dry it while you snapped at him and freed yourself.

“Oh stop fussing!”

“Oh, pardon me if I didn’t want you to get sick!”

You laughed as you looked at Nikolai gratefully and warmly as you suddenly threw your arms around him and hugged him tightly because there was this very warm and happy, aching and loud emotions flooding into you as you whispered to a very surprised Nikolai who hugged you back “I think I finally believe in Saints.”

Nikolai held you protectively and caringly in his arms as he whispered huskily “Why?”

“Because they led me straight to you, Nikolai Lantsov.” you whispered softly and reverently, your voice full of emotion in a sacred prayer, a whispered secret uttered in a room. 

Nikolai felt breathless and speechless as his brain stopped functioning for a moment as he processed what you meant as you buried your head on his shoulder for a moment because if you didn’t want to let him go at all and wanted to stay in his arms forever where it felt safe and right and real. 

But you broke out of the embrace as you looked at a stunned and speechless Nikolai, his eyes shining with glimmer of joy and hope as you leaned up and pressed a soft and sweet kiss on his cheek, your lips lingering on his skin very briefly and then smiled “Good night, Nikolai. Sleep well.”

Nikolai stood outside your door frozen in shock because you had just proclaimed that you believed in Saints because of him and had kissed him on the cheek. His hand hovered over the spot where your lips had softly and briefly lingered, his cheek growing warm as he replayed that moment in his head over and over again. He was grinning widely like a fool, frozen in time and swore never to wash his face again because he didn’t want your kiss to be washed away. Everything was just perfect and beautiful and magical in the world because Nikolai had the most magical night with the woman he loved. And now, he dared to truly hope that you might have feelings for him too. 

Nikolai wanted to scream from the rooftops. Nikolai wanted to dance joyfully. Nikolai wanted to run. But he felt it all as he stood frozen for a long time outside your door. 

After a few moments, Zoya came marching through the corridors and fumes were coming out of her ears when she saw Nikolai soaked wet, standing frozen as she scolded him “YOUR MAJESTY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? You were completely missing, no note! You could have died! You could have - Nikolai? Nikolai? Saints, you’re not moving! Are you alright? What happened?”

Nikolai grinned loopily, looking like an insane lunatic “My dreams are coming true!”

Zoya raised her eyebrows at Nikolai wondering if he had slipped and knocked his head hard when she realized that he was standing in front of your chambers and Zoya had to resist the urge to gasp out loud in surprise as she replied calmly “Nikolai... what the -”

“She kissed my cheek, Zoya!” exclaimed Nikolai letting out a squeal of delight and Zoya shushed him immediately because she didn’t want him waking you up “Aaaargghh! I can’t believe it!”

Zoya dragged a lovestruck Nikolai who was over the moon away from your chambers as he mumbled and waxed poetic about how divine your eyes were but Zoya hid a smug smile as she muttered under her breath “I’m winning that bet, Nina.”

And Nikolai Lantsov who was absolutely enchanted by you would toss and turn restlessly in his bed until he sunk into a deep slumber bewitched by beautiful and sweet dreams of you.

Taglist: - 

@cleverzonkwombatsludge

@khaleesihavilliard

@mochinoms-doesart

@simrah1012

@hauntedenthusiasttragedy

@marissat1998

@queenofspades6

@xhaliemax

@ladespedidas

@angie-likes-to-read

@thatsassyhufflepuff​

@adajoemaya

@liliandodiaj

@unicornfairytail

@b1bbles

@luvly-writer

@geekmom3

@drinkfantasy​

@chickencouncilrep​

@justsomecreaturewandering​

@cruc1o​

@stickyfictioninwriting​

[n4giism]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ frontal lobe muzik by daniel caesar ࿐ྂ

blue lock x fem!reader

characters: rensuke kunigami, meguru bachira, hyoma chigiri

content: part 2 of weird/bad habits they have. a bit of cursing (kunigami) and i added two parts for bachira bcus he’s #bestboy

ari’s note: i love daniel caesar sm omd. also for part 3 i’m probably gonna do reo, yukimiya and another character i haven’t decided yet lol so stay tuned!!

part 1. part 3.

rensuke kunigami: setting alarms every second and not getting up

it was your first time sleeping in the same bed as your boyfriend. it had been a long time into your relationship with kunigami but you both never slept over at each other's houses before, let alone in the same bed. that is until today where you both lost track of time and it had already gotten too late for kunigami to head home. hence you suggested for him to just sleep at your house for the night and he agreed.

seeing your boyfriend aggressively doing something with his phone made you curious to ask what he was doing. was it something he always did before bed? you were very curious.

"what are you doing, kuni?"

"i'm setting my alarm to wake up for gym tomorrow. i gotta get up at 6. you can go to sleep first, it'll take awhile." he replied, kissing your forehead and looking back at his phone.

"what? it's just one alarm, why would it take so long?" you asked and sat up from lying down beside kunigami, who was currently leaning against the headboard.

you scooted closer to him and saw the monstrosity he had created. on his phone, in his clock app, were what felt like a hundred alarms. all one second apart from each other.

"oh my god, kuni.. what the hell are you doing?" you asked, shock laced your voice as kunigami kept setting more and more alarms.

he mentioned getting up at 6, and he was already setting alarms for 7am.

"what's wrong? i'm just setting my alarm." he replied, confused as to why you were shocked.

"you said 'alarm', kuni. what you're doing is setting 'alarmsssss'! with an 's'! plural alarm!" you explained, eyes wide; still shocked that he had set so many alarms.

"you're overthinking it, dear. i probably don't even need this many alarms. i usually get up at the first one, trust me. i'm just taking precautions." he chuckled light-heartedly.

"you sure?" you asked, concerned and worried. it would be living hell if the alarm rang for an hour straight. plus, having your sleep interrupted at 6 in the morning on a weekend does not sound like a lovely idea at all.

"yes, trust me. i'll turn off all the other alarms once i'm up, okay? you won't even know i'm awake!" he reassured.

you eyed him suspiciously, but ultimately let it go and just went to sleep. he is kunigami rensuke, after all. you trusted him. he keeps his word.

kunigami bonus!:

god, you were losing your mind. it was currently 6:08am. how did you know the exact time? it's thanks to kunigami and his army of alarms. you heard him snooze them 8 times already.

and to make it worse, kunigami's alarm sound was the rooster crowing one.

you whined and covered your ears with the blanket. but even that couldn't block out the stupid alarms. you could even hear kunigami snoring away.

"kuni.. get the fucking alarms," you mumbled, eyes closing but the constant rooster ringing in your ear kept you from drifting to your slumber.

it rung for another 3 minutes - the longest 3 minutes of your life - until you decided to get up and turn the alarms off yourself.

getting up, you reached over kunigami's body and grabbed his phone. you took his hand and used his finger to unlock the password and you finally shut off all the alarms.

sighing, you placed the phone back on the bedside table and went back to sleep, "so much for, 'trust me!', 'you won't even know i'm awake!'" you mocked sleepily.

let's just say, kunigami did not go to the gym that morning.

meguru bachira: using auto caps in the middle of a sentence

he does this very often, especially when he’s trying to emphasise a point. his texts also have a lot of typos, only god knows what he’s trying to say.

meguru bachira pt 2: refuses to leave until you say “i love you” back

“i’m going now!” bachira called as he put on his shoes. he checked that he had everything he needed for soccer practice and stood up from the stool.

you emerged from the bedroom and ran to him, engulfing him in a tight hug, “okay, take care. have fun at soccer!” you said and pulled his face down to give him a kiss.

“i will! okay, i’m going now. bye bye, i love you.” he said and picked up his shoe bag and opened the door.

“okay, bye!” you waved.

“i love you.” he repeated.

“i know! take care!” you said, worried. why isn’t he leaving yet?

“i said i love you!!!” he pouted.

“yes, i heard. now go! or you’re gonna be late!” you pestered, about to close the door but bachira quickly put his foot between the door and the wall.

“say it back!!” he whined.

“what? meguru, you’re seriously gonna be late!” you replied, panicked.

“you don’t love me anymore?” he whimpered, tears forming in his eyes.

“what! meguru, what are you on about? of course i do.” you answered and embraced his body lightly.

“then why didn’t you say it back!”

“oh my god, bachira. you’re really like a child.”

“i don’t care. i’m not leaving until you tell me you love me.” he said, put down his shoe bag and stood his ground. crossing his arms and huffing, he meant what he said.

“oh my god.. okay, okay! i love you too, megu! i love you so much! now please hurry and go! or isagi’s gonna be calling my phone non-stop asking where you are!” you said and motioned your arms for him to go.

“okay! bye!! i love you sooo much, y/n!” he exclaimed, happy that you told him you love him. he picked up his things and walked off.

hyoma chigiri: giving you a cup of ice when he's mad

dating chigiri came with many things. it included him sharing his hair care tips with you and a lot of healthy eating because he prioritised healthy eating a lot.

but it also came with his princess needs. like how he needs his hair to air dry for 15 minutes before he applies all the different hair oils, hair serums, hair masks and whatnot. he also had a strict diet. and he always, absolutely always, made time for his leg care where he’d hog the tv for an hour or so, and move all the sofas and the coffee table away to roll out his yoga mat and just meditate and do whatever he needs to do for that hour.

dating chigiri also came with his many weird habits. the one that baffled you the most was him giving you a cup of ice when he’s mad.

because chigiri had a strict routine to follow everyday, sometimes it hindered with your own needs too. like wanting to use the bathroom but he was in the shower for what felt like forever, rinsing and shampooing his hair.

it was especially difficult when the two of you just started living together. the both of you were unable to coexist in the same house and adjust your routines to one another. but with time, things changed and now the two of you live comfortably. you found yourself pondering about the first time chigiri got mad at you over something small and it made you giggle a bit.

it started when you found his secret stash of strawberries. chigiri’s favourite fruit was strawberries in the fridge and he always included them in his diet - whether it’s in his morning breakfast, or blending them in his protein shake.

not knowing the strawberries were so important to him, you ate just a few of his strawberries. you did not know that chigiri counted his strawberries, and only ate a certain amount at a time. you also did not know that he had a small notebook that he uses to keep track of his routines; counting strawberries included.

chigiri was appalled to discover that he was short on strawberries when he was making his protein shake that afternoon. he noticed the green leaves of the strawberries were in the nearby bin and he connected the pieces together to come to the conclusion that you had ate his precious strawberries.

“hyo! could you help me here, please? i dropped my lip balm behind the dresser, i need you to help me move it!” you called from your bedroom. chigiri rolled his eyes, huffing in annoyance.

you were on your phone waiting for chigiri when he came in the room holding a glass of - what looked like - ice.

“oh thank goodness you’re here, hyo.” you sighed in relief upon seeing his face. he pouted, placed the glass of ice on your dresser and walked away.

“what? hyo! hello!? hyo? what is this for?!” you called again and looked at the glass of ice, puzzled.

he didn’t talk to you the entire day, but he followed you around the house like a puppy, and whenever you attempted to throw the ice away, he’d quickly intercept, shaking his head silently and placing the glass on the counter. then when you asked him for an explanation, he walked away.

after a few attempts of discarding the ice - and chigiri coming to stop you - you gave up, and just left the glass there.

it was around 9pm and you were washing the dishes with chigiri standing right beside you, until he turned his head to where the glass of ice was and he saw that it had melted into water.

“you ate my strawberries,” he finally said.

“what? hyo, you didn’t talk to me the whole day, and the first thing you say after, what, 9 hours, is ‘you ate my strawberries’?” you replied, jolting a bit when he suddenly spoke.

“yeah.” he answered quickly like it wasn’t a big deal.

“i told myself i’d talk to you after the ice melted.” he added.

“is that what all this is about, hyo?” you muttered and he nodded.

“i’m gonna break up with you if you try that again,” you threatened light-heartedly and chigiri quickly bit back, “then i’ll give you more ice cubes. once it melts then we are dating again.”

he knew you were joking and that’s the worst part. chigiri always had his way, he knew you couldn’t not love him.

you looked at him and he gave you a blank stare.

“you’re so weird, hyo.”

“but you still love me.”

“… whatever.”

end.

[sukisheadlights]

WE'LL MAKE IT!

kazbrekker x grisha!oc

summary: when the coin- "I hate kaz brekker" grisha reveals how she truly feels for kaz brekker in the midst of a deal gone wrong, becomes when kaz brekker gets nervous.

story: grishaverse masterlist

rory’s voice mail 🎧: story <333 I really love writing for the grishaverse so let me know if you want some sort of kaz brekker x oc series, and give me ideas :) for now, enjoy! I love you say it back <3

and ofcourse, @chaos-mix I did not forget your tag :)

WARNING MAJOR ANGST AHEAD

Ilysen (ill-e-s-in) has always been considered a powerful squaller. She grew confined within the walls of the little palace, her beautiful cage. So naturally, when she escaped and went to ketterdam for solace (a bad idea on her part, truthfully), nobody expected her to survive it's gruelling streets.

But you know what they say, those who have tasted freedom will not give up that which they have tasted.

Ilysen walked into the barrel— doe eyed with bright light blue hair and the personality of a puppy. Quickly though, the barrel toughened her up— and her blue hair only became the shell of a person she once was. She earned a new name, 'The slyph of ketterdam' A beautiful creature that will manipulate the air at the comand of the smallest bone in her body. She will swipe you off your feet, and knock the air out of your lungs. Ilysen became a force to be reckoned with and she worked for no one. Kaz Brekker took notice of this, He took notice of it all.

He set his wraith on her tail and found out her secrets. Then, he tried asking her nicely to work with him, he tried getting jesper to charm her, he even he got his wraith to befriend her. But she only listened and agreed when he threatened her. When he threated to send her back to the cage she once escaped from.

Cruel, I know. So did she, this was the life she chose and kaz brekker and his antics were slightly respectable but no one would know that last part. Instead they would know the slyph that hated his soul, bones, and questionable fashion choices. They would come to know her as unreliable and the untried, theortical lose string whose loyalties could change at any given moment.

Nobody knew why she worked so closely with the Dregs. Not even the trusted sharpshooter and wraith could get get that out of her. Sometimes, kaz brekker found himself staring at his office wall not quiet knowing the answer himself. But he knew she wouldn't betray her only friends in the barrel. He knew that she only stayed because of inej and jesper. She had no other reason. Right?

One faithful night, when the barrel was as quiet as usual with it's citizens hiding in their houses and criminals lurking in it's shadows, the unofficial crows— atleast half of them, found themselves at the harbour for a deal.

They watched closely as the other party's leader approached kaz, really getting into his personal space hoping it intimidated the bastard infront of him. They watched as Kaz hit him with his trusty cane, And continued as both the bosses succesfully reached an impasse.

Until suddenly, they ran. Down the street and under the harbour's bridges, into the dimly lit caves— they hid. Those idiots had broken their conditions and brought out weapons, gunshots ringing through the harbour as the slyph struggled to save their lives, Kaz couldn't believe he let this slip past. For the first time, he felt stupid. He looked around the dimly lit underground cave as he thought of ways to save the lives of his band of teenage misfits.

Perhaps if he was faster, they would have missed the explosion above their heads. Perhaps then, Ilysen wouldn't have had to use her powers to hold up the ceiling above their head and instead hold open the only exit which was now burried under the rubble. Kaz worked quickly to try find a way out of the underground cave, but something felt wrong.

Ilysen, who would typically be complaining her lungs out right about now, was silent. A still, unmoving, shell of the noisy companion kaz had gotten used to. her hands remained raised up above her head as she held the roof up, scared to move even by an inch. The room was quiet as Kaz searched for a way out while encouraging the others to do the same. Another explosion. Those two-timing bastards were set on bathing in young blood but there was no time to complain now, only escape.

"I don't hate you." the words rung of the walls of the cave and pierced striaght through kaz brekker's heart as he turned around, Ilysen was looking straight at him now. "If we don't make it out of here—" She said as a shaky breath escaped her lips "—I just need you to know that I don't hate you."

A ringing explosion was the only sound that broke the silence between them.

"We're not dying today." He said, certain that if he couldn't save them, the fates would protect them all because she didn't deserve to die yet. She looked away as she struggled to hold up the ceiling distracting herself from the growing weakness in her arms and her chest. She knew what she had to do. But would she? "Ilysen, look at me." Kaz urged, hating himself for not being able to physically comfort her. She obliged.

"We're not dying today." He said as confidently as he could. His voice wavered somewhere, but he knew if anyone noticed it would only be her. He continued ignoring the pang of guilt in his chest, promising things he wasn't sure of. "I promise you."

Ilysen nodded, She would do anything for them. With steadying breaths she changed the directions of her arms.

In one swift movement, she raised the previously blocked entrance and pushed the crows outside, saving their lives. Unfortunately for her, the ceiling she once held up came crashing down. Only the saints could do something now.

Jesper, Inej, And Kaz stood still. The realisation of what unfolded weighing onto them heavier than the deafening silence of the vast ocean behind them.

They searched the rubble for her all night, not scared of what they might find. Kaz called in all the dregs as they lifted up large rocks in silence, secretly praying for the survival of their slyph. They found her body at the crack of dawn, A single ray lighting up her almost still body. Almost. She laid on the floor, a doll— but there was a faint rise and fall of her chest. There was hope for her survival. Kaz would never admit it but he owed her his life.

Even if she happened to remain in this unconcious state for the rest of her life, kaz would take care of her. He would never admit it, but he was grateful for her. And maybe one day, He could tell her that.

[quietblueriver]

For prompts: Imogen/Laudna, hound of ill omen or pâté pet fluff

So this turned into nearly 4k words on Imogen and the animals she has loved? The last section at least is directly responsive. 😬 And I might supplement with hound of ill omen at some point because he's lurking around in my head, too.

Thank you so much for the fun prompt! <3

PS - Wrote this real fast so pls excuse any errors.

-

One afternoon when Imogen was six, her daddy called her into the barn and nodded over at the old wooden trough turned on its side near the stairs to the loft. She knew what it meant, gasping and scurrying in the direction of the trough, slowing to the quickest walk she could manage at her daddy’s, “No running in the barn, Imogen.” 

And then she saw them—five tiny new things, eyes closed and mouths searching, mewling and pitiful on a pile of hay inside the shelter of the worn, dusty planks. 

Lady, their mother and Imogen’s favorite barn cat, eyed Imogen as she approached, orange and white tail flicking back and forth, one black ear twitching. Imogen couldn’t read minds (not yet, anyway) but she thought she understood–she gave Lady and her kittens plenty of space, stopping before she got too close. She sat criss-cross applesauce, watching from a distance and thinking about names until her daddy put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her toward the house for dinner. 

For the next few weeks, she went out every morning before school and every night before bed to check on them–three orange and one calico and a pretty orange and black mix. 

“Tortoiseshell,” her daddy said as he watched Imogen watch them, the black and orange–tortoiseshell–jumping and pawing fiercely at a piece of hay that stuck up from the ground. He only stayed for a moment, wiping sweat from his forehead with the navy blue bandana he always kept in his back pocket before he said, “We’re only keeping one.” When she turned to look at him, he was already focused on pulling the rake from its hook and moving toward one of the stalls. She wanted to argue but she bit her tongue. She was getting good at that. He didn’t look at her as he added, “Don’t get too attached.” 

She did get too attached. She cried when Pumpkin and Daisy went to live with Mr. Faramore’s cousin. She tried to hide it, sniffling into the sleeve of her shirt, but her daddy saw and frowned and shook his head. “That’s how it works, Imogen. I told you.” Shame curled in her stomach, and when she wiped her face again, motion hard with anger, the button on her cuff caught her cheek and split the skin. 

A few weeks later, when Scare and Crow went to live on the farm a few miles away, Imogen hid behind the barn with Ember in her arms and watched as Crow’s little orange face peeked out from the backpack where he and his brother had been put. When the horse turned the corner and she couldn’t see him anymore, Imogen put Ember back inside the barn with Lady and cried and cried until she couldn’t anymore. Throat sore and nose running, she scrubbed at her face in the stream and wiped it dry before she went inside for dinner. 

(“Of course you were attached,” Laudna whispered to her under the moonlight in a grove far, far from Gelvaan. “They were kittens. You were six.” She heard, in Laudna’s thoughts, the undercurrent of opinions on her daddy. What an absolute jackass. Honestly. When she snorted, Laudna tilted her head in that way Imogen was coming to love, one side of her mouth pulling into a smile. Sorry, darling. I don’t mean to think ill of him. 

Imogen, heart doing strange things at the word darling, only came back to herself when she noticed Laudna’s smile begin to dip. She reached out and ran tentative fingers over the back of Laudna’s hand where it lay between them. Laudna turned her palm up and caught Imogen’s fingers between her own, the brief staccato interlude in her thoughts smoothing back into a more familiar rhythm as Imogen tried for the gentlest look she could manage. It wasn’t real familiar to her, gentleness, but Laudna made it feel easier than it ever had. 

Don’t be sorry. Please. I’ve never had…Thank you, for defendin’ me. And you’re right. He was a little bit of a jackass. 

She giggled then, feeling younger and safer than she had in a long time, and Laudna’s smile came out in full, face breaking open eerie and beautiful in the night.) 

Lady disappeared almost ten years later, gone one day, then two, then a week. 

“Likely went off to die,” speculated one of the older hands, bottom lip bulging with dip that he spit into the jar in his left hand every other sentence. “Dignified, that one.”

“Or somethin’ got her. Not as fast as she used to be.” 

Imogen mucked a stall quietly as they went on, moving from Lady to the weather to crop predictions. She was sweating, so the tears blended into the water already dripping down her face, and nobody was paying her any mind anyway. 

Nobody except her daddy, apparently. He walked by a few minutes later, shadow draping over her from where he stood in the stall door. 

“That’s just how it is, Imogen.” 

I didn’t say anything, she hissed into his mind, teenage angst and righteous anger forcing more tears from her eyes. The sound of his boots tripping over each other as he backed away pulled a bitter smile from her. She never spoke into his mind. He hated it. Careful, she said, almost taunting, and she felt the anger swell in him even as he moved further away. 

She ate dinner alone that night.  

-

By the time Flora came around, Imogen was miserable. She was fighting headaches every day, and she’d alienated nearly everyone in town over the course of the last few years. 

When her powers first came, Imogen didn’t understand what was happening. Confused and generally in pain, she couldn’t always process the difference between what she heard and what she heard, which meant she sometimes responded to things that hadn’t actually been said out loud. People weren’t fond of having somebody in their mind, even if nobody was quite ready to admit that was what was happening. 

Then came the panic attacks. 

And the scars. 

And the “accidents” that happened around her. 

She’d never been popular, looked too much like her mama in a town full of people who loved her daddy, but the rumors gave them a better excuse to avoid her, and of course, to judge. 

And, to be fair, Imogen wasn’t real eager to spend her time with them either. She hated the headaches and the anxiety and she definitely hated being able to hear the thoughts vile enough to stand out in the general din, vile enough that the men who thought them suddenly found themselves tripping over nothing or falling into ponds or spilling their drinks all over themselves. She didn’t do it on purpose but she wasn’t sorry. A few of those incidents and suddenly everybody was turning to look for lavender anytime anybody had an accident. 

When Ms. Gillis dropped a basket of produce one morning at market and turned to glare at Imogen, setting all six of her kids to whispering about “the purple witch,” Imogen decided to give up the small hope she’d been clinging to that the town where she grew up might learn to accept her as she was now. 

She stopped going out when she could avoid it, and when she couldn’t, she picked times when she thought the market or the general store or wherever it was she needed to go would be least crowded, got in and out as quick as she could. At least on the farm she was mostly alone, even if it hurt that her daddy joined everybody else for lunch and left Imogen alone in the orchard or under the big tree out behind the barn. 

She was under that tree when she first saw Flora, placid as Sam and a hand she didn’t recognize walked her. She was beautiful, a sorrel with a wide white stripe down her face. Imogen absently took a last bite of apple before tossing it back into the brown bag she’d brought and standing to walk toward Sam. 

“Imogen. There you are.” He looked relieved to see her, a vaguely anxious set of feelings pressing into her mind, which meant he really did not want to be handling this horse or he really did not like the other hand. Or maybe both. “This is Dylan. They work for Mr. Langham and rode over with Flora here.” 

Imogen lifted a perfunctory hand at Dylan before moving closer to Flora. “Can I?” 

Sam nodded, stepping back with the rope, and Dylan joined him. 

“She’s real sweet,” Dylan said. “She’ll be perfect for kids.” 

Imogen stood a little closer, in Flora’s line of vision, and let her look for a minute before she pulled a piece of carrot from her pocket and laid it flat on her palm in offer. There was the familiar tickle of soft, curious muzzle against her palm as Flora sniffed. She took the treat happily, crunching and then nosing at Imogen like they were old friends. 

Imogen ran her hand down Flora’s neck and spoke softly to her until Sam cleared his throat. 

“Well. We’re gonna leave her to you.”

“We are?” 

She caught some thoughts from Sam that made her turn her face a little further away from the two of them to hide a smile. He definitely didn’t want to get away from Dylan, then. 

“Great. Thanks.” 

They were gone quickly, leaving Imogen and Flora to themselves. “Whadda ya say?” Imogen asked as Flora mouthed another piece of carrot from her palm eagerly. “Want me to show you around a bit?” She took the gentle pressure of Flora’s muzzle against her shoulder as a yes. 

Flora was sturdy and young, barely more than a filly, and Mr. Faramore wanted her for her temperament and as a tester for the riding camp he was considering, a week or two of fancy kids coming to learn about horses and then, ideally, convincing their parents to buy one from him. 

Imogen worked with her, taking over as her handler with no objection from anyone else, and they spent at least two afternoons a week together exploring the grounds. Imogen was “setting the trails” for the camp, which didn’t mean much beyond flagging trees and brush that needed to be cleared for easier passage. It was her favorite part of the week, and Flora was better company than any person she’d ever met. 

The camp never happened, but two of Mr. Faramore’s granddaughters fell in love with Flora, so she stayed, spending a few days a month saddled up for the girls. She was Imogen’s, the rest of the time–always her choice for checking the property and riding out to mend fences or for any task she could justify, really. 

She and Flora were checking some fencing, hot as hell in the afternoon sun, when Imogen heard her for the first time. Toward the forest, where an abandoned cabin sat just far enough over the property line that Mr. Faramore didn’t bother with it, Imogen caught somebody’s thoughts. 

She wasn’t digging, had at least learned how to control that part of her powers, but the surface level thoughts were more difficult to block out, especially when she had her shields down, like she usually did when she was out with Flora. She was glad, for once, that she’d been unprepared, because these thoughts weren’t like anything else she’d heard before. They were like music, flowing and self-contained and happy. 

She turned Flora toward the forest without much thought. 

The woman was weeding outside the cabin, tall and incredibly thin, long hair pinned up with some kind of chisel as she worked, talking to herself quietly. There was something not quite right about her, something unnatural that Imogen couldn’t quite pin down but felt immediately. 

It became obvious when she turned to look at them, big black eyes wide and mouth working itself into a smile that was genuine if nervous, and almost too wide to be human. Her skin was pale, too pale, and there was something black on her fingers where they gripped a bundle of weeds, roots dangling, tightly in front of her almost like a bouquet. What looked like some kind of dead creature hung from one of her belts and swayed gently with her movement. 

Imogen was grateful for Flora for a thousand reasons, but in that moment, she was especially grateful for her steady temperament and natural curiosity, because Imogen was almost certain the woman would’ve spooked every other horse in their barn. Imogen was also almost certain that the woman in front of her was dead. 

“Hello,” she said, clearly not totally dead and with a heavy accent Imogen didn’t recognize. “I’m Laudna.” 

An hour later, when Laudna hesitantly offered Flora a piece of carrot from her palm, she took it happily and Laudna laughed, a sound as musical as her thoughts, when Flora leaned into her hand looking for more. 

It wasn’t long after that Imogen let loose defending Laudna and burned away the robes of that cleric and any chance of a life for herself in Gelvaan. 

She wasn’t sorry and she wasn’t sad, not really, to leave that place. As Imogen hastily filled a pack, Laudna looking on in concern, there was a dull and familiar ache in her chest, thudding below the fire and anger she still carried on Laudna’s behalf. Every what if she’d let herself indulge in over the years, every time she’d tried to please her daddy and failed, every attempt at getting people to see her as anything other than her mother’s daughter. But that’s all they were–what ifs that Imogen was steady realizing she didn’t want anymore. 

The real hurt, as they hurried through the forest and then onto the road that led away from Faramore’s, was that light in the barn, where Marty was on shift closing things down and keeping watch. She was leaving Flora, unable to say goodbye, and she didn’t know when she’d be back. If she’d ever be back. 

She cried the next night as they settled onto bedrolls, exhausted and overwhelmed and thinking of a horse of all things. She heard her father’s sigh, saw his disappointed and slightly patronizing expression and hid her tears in her sleeve and then in the fabric of her bedroll, trying to keep quiet. 

After a few minutes, Laudna said, gently, “I know it must be very difficult. To leave. I’m sorry, Imogen. I’m so very grateful that you saved me but I can’t imagine what it cost you.” 

Imogen turned to face her, embarrassed but willing, for reasons she still didn’t quite understand, to Laudna see her. “I’d do it again, Laudna.” The anger roiled in her stomach again, overtaking her sadness for a moment. “They deserved worse than what I gave ‘em, for what they were tryin’ to do to you.” She heard doubt in Laudna’s mind, and Imogen didn’t know yet how to fix that but she had time now to figure it out. 

“Honestly, I feel more relief than anythin’ else.” Laudna watched her, pools of black reflecting the soft light of the moon. “I won’t miss it. I’m…I’m excited to explore. I’m excited to explore with you. I’m real glad I met you.”

“I’m glad I met you, too. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a very, very long time.” Ever rang in her mind, loud and earnest enough for Imogen to hear. The fierce, protective thing that had started building in Imogen’s chest that first afternoon was growing faster than she knew what to do with. 

“I feel the same way.” 

And then Imogen thought of Flora again and found the tears were back. A noise, something affectionate and concerned that was entirely foreign to Imogen, escaped Laudna’s mouth before she sat up and dug in her pack, turning back with a handkerchief which she handed to Imogen. It was soft, embroidered with something she couldn’t quite make out in the dark, and it felt about a million times better than her shirt or her bedroll against her cheeks. 

“Thanks.” 

“Of course. I…I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, but I think I’m quite a good listener, if you do.” 

Imogen folded the handkerchief to keep her hands busy as she said, so soft she was afraid Laudna wouldn’t even hear her, “I miss my horse. Flora. I know that’s…I know it’s silly. I just…” 

She shrugged, chest tight, and Laudna moved closer to her, placed a hand on Imogen’s shoulder, cool even through the fabric of her shirt. 

“It’s not silly. It’s not silly at all.” 

It set something loose in her, the honest way Laudna said it, the echo of that honesty in her mind, and suddenly big, ridiculous tears were dripping down her face and Laudna’s arms were wrapped around her, her neck cool against Imogen’s forehead. 

“I liked her better than most people.” 

“Well, that makes sense. Aside from you, the people in Gelvaan didn’t make the best impression, I must say.” Imogen laughed into Laudna’s shoulder as she continued, “No offense intended, of course. I know I’m not exactly a welcome sight.” “You are to me.” 

She was quiet then, surprise and affection and longstanding shame whirling around in her mind. After a moment, she asked, “Would you like to tell me about Flora?” 

“I think…I think I would.” 

-

Pate de Rolo was, objectively, horrifying. 

Laudna had done a very thorough job preserving his body, and the skull was immaculately clean, but there was no getting around the horror of the creation–the mismatched parts and the patchiness of his thin coat; the dry, flaky reality of his tail; the unnatural stiffness of his joints as Laudna puppeted him, talented hands bringing his movements eerily close to what they might have been in life. 

The first time Laudna brought him from her belt with an excited, “Oh, let me introduce you to Pate,” Imogen had worked as hard as she could to keep her smile, to fight the instinct toward disgust. She managed, because she knew a hurt thing when she saw one, and she didn’t want to hurt Laudna any further, but it was a near thing. 

“Oh, so lovely to meet you, Pate.” 

“Pleasure’s all mine.” It was lecherous. It was hilarious. It was one of the most disturbing things Imogen had ever seen. 

Laudna looked between them, seeming incredibly pleased, and Imogen, unbelievably, found herself wanting to keep the little monster going, if it meant making Laudna happy. She bolstered herself. 

“Pate, Laudna mentioned y’all have traveled all over. She was tellin’ me about the mountains. Do you have a favorite place?” 

“Well, I always do like the beaches. For the views, if ya know what I mean…”

Suffering through the ensuing monologue was nothing compared to the pride that bloomed in Imogen’s chest at Laudna’s beaming smile. 

Over the course of their first few months together, Imogen began to understand what it meant when Pate made an appearance. 

Sometimes, of course, Laudna was bored and they were around the fire and Pate provided a ridiculous and entertaining way to spend an hour before bed. Imogen found it easy to move past disgust as she got to know Laudna, let herself see beyond the grotesque corpse and recognize something that had helped her friend, who had quickly become her favorite person in the world, survive desperate loneliness and nearly unending cruelty. She found it easy, when she thought of him that way, to love him as an extension of Laudna. 

And it became clear that he was an extension of Laudna, in more ways than one, as they traveled. The first time they were chased out of a cabin, she saw Laudna’s body shift into something Imogen found both terrifying and beautiful to defend them, limbs expanding and spine cracking as ichor pooled on her skin, a veil of black descending from nowhere to cover her face. That night, as they sat around the fire, Pate came out almost immediately. 

“Well that was a right mess, wunnit?” 

“It was.” Imogen moved closer on the log they shared, making the offer of contact but leaving Laudna the option to refuse. “We would’ve been in real trouble without Laudna, yeah?” 

Pate danced as Laudna’s fingers moved, somehow managing to convey a shrug in the rat-raven creation. “I dunno. I reckon anything would be scared of her, like that. Boss is awful enough when she’s not a monster.” 

“I’m not scared of her.” Laudna lifted her eyes from Pate to meet Imogen’s as she said, “And she’s not awful. She’s my best friend.” Black ichor dripped down Laudna’s cheeks as her fragile ankle shifted just enough to touch Imogen’s. “I thought it was really fuckin’ cool.” Laudna snuffled and Imogen grinned, bending down to Pate and stage-whispering, “Did you see that one guy piss himself?” 

Pate cackled, and Laudna moved to close the rest of the distance between them. 

When Laudna died, the second time, Imogen took his small body and kept it close to her. She couldn’t puppet him, didn’t want to try, but she spoke to him, whispered to him as she set him in a small nest she made from her bandana each night. “Don’t worry, Pate. We’ll get her back. I promise.” 

And then he came back with her, ribcage cracking and squelching, off-color observations flying as free as he now could. It was suddenly more difficult to love him, Imogen forcing down disgust in a way she hadn’t in a long time. There was less incentive, now that he was an independent creature, but he was still Pate and he had still saved Laudna, even if he hadn’t been, well, him. 

He found her one night as Ashton and Laudna played a game of cards, Laudna cackling in delight as they accused each other, loudly, of cheating nearly every hand. It was so good, to hear her laughing again. 

“‘Ey, boss.” 

He landed on a branch near her head, wings folding back into his body with a series of motions and noises that made Imogen smile to suppress a gag. 

“Pate. I didn’t realize you were out.” 

“Mum sent me to check on ya.” 

Imogen looked back to Laudna, who was waving a hand dismissively at Ashton, nose turned up. Her eyes caught Imogen’s as she turned away from him with a scoff, and she winked before she threw herself back into their argument, brushing her hair out of her face with an exaggerated motion. Imogen blushed and bit her lip before she remembered she wasn’t alone, clearing her throat and shaking her head before the world’s lewdest undead flying rodent noticed her being a lovesick fool. 

“She did, did she?”

“Aye. She worries about you, ya know? It was a hard fight, today.” 

It was, objectively, but relative to the past few weeks it was nothing. She’d be fine after a good night’s rest. 

“I’m good.” At his uncharacteristic silence, she realized Laudna really must’ve been concerned, so she continued, “Real good, honestly. Just need some sleep. I hadn’t been sleepin’ well, but it’s easier, now that we’re back together. Now that we’re…”

Pate didn’t have lips but he still grinned, somehow, bone-white face more expressive than it had any right to be. 

“Now that you and mum’re smashin’, ya mean?” 

“Pate.” Her face was red hot, embarrassing on its own and somehow even more embarrassing because her girlfriend’s perverted rat-raven familiar had managed to make it happen. 

“I’m real ‘appy for ya.” At her pointed eyebrow, he raised a rat hand in the air, wobbling a little as he rebalanced. “Honest.” 

“Mmhmm.” Ashton was up from his seat, arms flailing with enough distress that FCG had begun to make his way over to the duo. Laudna looked like she was having the best day of her life. “An’ how’s she doin’? Really?” 

Pate grunted. “Been better, I reckon, but she’ll be alright, our girl. She’s tough.” 

Right. This was why she tried to be kind, to hold her distaste at bay, to maintain some kind of love for him. Laudna was their girl. And she’d been Pate’s girl for a lot longer than she’d been Imogen’s. 

Imogen stroked the slope of his skull and patted her shoulder, affection and disgust warring within her at the feel of undead claws on her skin. He settled and they watched together as Laudna and Ashton continued, Letters stationed close. 

“She’ll be alright.” Imogen said it for the both of them, an affirmation and a promise. 

Skull scraped skin as he moved to speak, and goosebumps broke out across Imogen’s shoulders, an instinct she couldn’t suppress. 

“‘Course she will. She’s got us, after all.”