#A Necromancer & His Zombie Boyfriend

[socialmediasocrates]

MITZIE AND THE THINGS SHE FOUND IN THE RIVER; a wip intro

(intro graphics by @veneritia)

Genre: new adult, urban fantasy

Tropes: Cloudcuckoolander, But for Me, It Was Tuesday, Her Boyfriend's Jacket, Non-Linear Character, Red String of Fate, Necromancer, Child of Forbidden Love, Anthropomorphic Personification, Revenant Zombie, Interactive Narrator

5 Song Playlist: Inkpot Gods, Bulletproof Heart, The Last of the Real Ones, Call Your Mom, Breath of Life

TL;DR: Keyesville, PA's got a serial killer, and it's up to "undergrad" witch Mitzie Morse and yoga instructor Khalil Bashir to stop them.

Summary:

For six months, Mitzie Morse has been pulling murder victims out of the river.

She gets them fixed up, so she figures it's not really a big deal, but there's definitely a serial killer on the loose. One who's ramped up their activity lately, a pattern of escalation in both violence and frequency of killings that would give anyone other than Mitzie some pause. Necromancers have a dysfunctional relationship with reality. Someone has to remind them that death is scary for most people, or they forget. Luckily (for Keyesville, not Mitzie) the latest victim, burnt out physical therapist turned yoga instructor Khalil Bashir, is happy to remind her that she has the power to stop these killings once and for all. Unluckily (for Keyesville, for Mitzie, and mostly for Khalil) a quirk of fate and magic has bound the two of them together. Doubly unluckily (for Keyesville, for Khalil, and mostly for Mitzie), the killer has set their sights on a new target: Mitzie Morse.

Characters

Mitzie Morse

like all necromancers, mitzie has a sense of style kindly described as "macabre" and accurately described as "fucking gross." dir en grey, gazette, and my chemical romance posters war with gruesome anatomical diagrams of creatures ranging from humans to unicorns to, somehow, dodo birds for wall space. her kitchen cabinets are home to a collection of mismatched thrifted cups, plates, and bowls, an ancient, somewhat decrepit, rice cooker, and an array of body parts preserved in mason jars. the colorful ones your least favorite high school classmates use for drinks in their instagram posts.

[…]

"i think he might need a new left eye." she takes a step back to survey her handiwork. "maybe a couple toes and fingers, too. do i still have toes and fingers?"

unfortunately, the answer to that is yes. they're in the pantry, next to the box of gushers. the one that's already open, not the unopened one on the top shelf. kind of wedged between the gushers and the canned ravioli. yep, she's found them. she's never explained why she keeps them in there, to me or anyone, at least not in a way that i'm willing to accept.

"i told you, there's not enough space in the cabinets."

there would be plenty of space if she got rid of all the novelty cups.

"i don't want to get rid of my novelty cups."

she should, they're grungy in the gross way.

Khalil Bashir

"who are you?"

anyway, the yoga instructor, khalil, is up.

he's still sitting on mitzie's kitchen table, the blanket she threw over him folded over itself in his lap. he's twisting around, trying to figure out where he is (you're in mitzie's apartment, i just said that) and where i am (everywhere all at once, but i'm incorporeal so you can stop looking).

"who are you? who the fuck is mitzie?" he's got that high-pitched edge to his voice that people get when they're panicking. unfortunate.

"hello?"

oh. right. i'm stevie.

[…]

"what is this?" he holds the gift card out from himself like it's going to bite him.

"a twenty five dollar gift card!" mitzie stares at khalil. khalil stares back at mitzie. this goes on long enough that she decides to elaborate, "you know, for your trouble."

he looks like he'd like to say something but isn't fully certain what he wants to say or how he wants to say it. this is a common reaction to mitzie. she does tend to just open her mouth and say things. khalil opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens his mouth, then closes it. he looks at the gift card. he looks at mitzie. he looks at the gift card. he sighs, shakes his head, and stuffs it in a pocket.

"why did you settle on twenty five dollar gift cards?"

"i dunno, it seemed fair."

"right."

khalil's been having the longest day known to man for two and a half weeks.

Fatima Bashir

fatima is one of those unspeakably fashionable people that makes everything she wears look good. even, more than occasionally, dog vomit.

see, much like her brother burnt out on the whole "living in philly and fighting the demon in the homeless man outside the wawa for his life every time he wanted a hoagie" life, fatima got tired of having to sit through putting people's dogs to sleep for eighteen dollars an hour and no health insurance. so khalil's a yoga instructor, and fatima owns keyesville's first doggie daycare. somehow, her perfect manicures never get too fucked up.

"any news on khalil?" asks the office worker, passing a tupperware container of cookies across the counter. this is the fifth time today that someone has asked this. it is seven in the morning.

"not yet, but we're staying optimistic. thanks for the cookies; mom loved the last ones." it's true that her mom loved the cookies, but it's not true that she's thankful for them.

Johnny ???

"so, what's up with the mcdonald's napkins?" khalil is sitting extremely inadvisably unbuckled in the back of the van.

"no clue." two sharp turns and a hard stop at a red light. johnny sips his cucumber water placidly while everyone behind him climbs back into their seats. "gotta take 'em somewhere in oklahoma, though."

"how do you know that?"

"no clue."

johnny is a mystery wrapped in an enigma lodged in a mound of horse shit. you'll recall that his previous identity was cursed or something, so he turned it over to edna in exchange for the first of many mcdonald's napkins and a broken magic guitar. some garage sale special of unknown make, black paint flaking off the wood everywhere, strings curling around the pegboard like medusa's snakes. it doesn't matter how many times he changes the strings, or what he does when he changes them, they will always break as soon as he plays them, and the only song the guitar will reliably play is the mysterious one written on the mcdonald's napkins he keeps finding everywhere.

@seasteading ; @writinglyra ; @asablehart ; @zorya-km ; @silent-creed ; @cheshawrites ; @thewritersplace

[tag-that-oc]

My OCs live in a post-apocalyptic world where when people die, the body reanimates as a zombie and the soul ends up still trapped in the world of the living and will seek out the next best suitable thing to use as one. This results in a lot of animated objects, usually the more humanlike the shape the more likely it is to get possessed, but they eventually also "die" and turn into mimic-like monstrosities from being unable to adapt.

One of my OCs is a toymaker-turned-necromancer who helps them by modifying them into more human shapes if they need it but she also can give quality of life proceedures like articulated joints and such.

One of them was a mannequin she found that hadn't yet turned into a monster like the others but all he could do was stand there and talk. She took him in and gave him the ability to move around, including an emotive face, and anything else he needed. And he has been helping her in her mission to help others ever since.

Another one was a teddy bear they took in who didn't need much as far as help but he was a sad, grumpy old man who just missed his wife and ended up adopting the necromancer like a daughter.

There's also the robot who is a dead scientist that shares the body with a sentient AI and the two have a very unsteady relationship where they are always at odds with one another. They also share an internal vritual world that is a 3D modeled liminal space where they interact as separate entities when the robot is powered down for the night. The scientist was the one who caused the accident that lead to the zombies and his own death and now suffers at the hands of what he calls "a digital eldritch horror."

There's also three more human members besides the necromancer. Two of them are a lesbian couple. One of which was the younger sister to the scientist's boyfriend that died before the event happened that cut everyone off from the afterlife. And her girlfriend was their next door neighbor before everything as well.

And the last human is a mercenary that used to be the right hand to the leader of a cult that terrorizes the city ruins that seeks to eliminate all the possessed. (Exact opposite of the necromancer's goal.) He was captured by the mannequin and upon realizing he was sent to die, was given the choice to join them instead and eventually developed a romantic relationship with the mannequin that captured him.

And what they all don't realize is the "cure" is right under their nose. The mannequin member of their group was never human to begin with but a demon who lost his memories before being sealed away after fucking up reality as much as possible beforehand. He has since given himself a new name and has just been trying to live his life but is occasionally haunted by traumatizing visions of when he was a terrible force of evil.

Sorry if this got long. I think I've sent these peeps in before a long time ago but with the character limit lifted off asks, I wanted to send them again with all the good details I couldn't before. <3

this is SUCH a cool concept for the world i also really like the mannequin so much

[possumkingluca]

dumb quotes from the strixhaven and now homebrewed after graduation campaign i'm in that i think about a lot with context only when it's necessary (and some from the campaign groupchat and conversations i have had with other members or the DM): "If you don't make a move I'll date him" (the person saying this had a boyfriend.) "Taste the rainbow bitch"

"I BECAME A ROTISSERIE CHICKEN" "FUCK YOU MELENTOR" "I hope the latex gets caught in your throat" "I wish my biological parents ate me" "A necromancer never dies" (right before dying) "I HAVE A PIPE BOMB" "We're going to drag Grayson out of his office by his ankles" (right before finding him tied up in a closet and finding out he has been being tortured for SIX FUCKING MONTHS) "I want to crack Grayson's spine like a glowstick" (Unrelated to previous quote and also completely unprompted) "That is NOT a kobold, that is john from lit 101" "Just pocket change to you guys" (1,000 PLATINUM???) "Go play with your boy toy of a lizard" "Stop running away and give me a fair fight" (person saying this literally was incapable of taking damage. I am not exaggerating. we had no other choice than to run away like sissy little babies because WE COULD NOT DAMAGE HIM.) "YOU LEFT ME IN THE SAND"

"Should've put it in a wig" (zombie) "He's gonna call me a whole swear word :(" "Mr. Alex I don't feel so good" (while becoming a rock) "You'll never amount to anything" (uncalled for)

"Not if i'm fast enough" (frequent) "Stop bullying the blind guy" (FREQUENT) "The seahorse fortnite dances" "WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE A DISEASED MR BEAN" "We need to take away this guy's balls" "You forgot Alex's half shaven beard" "Get out of my house" (frequent) "Slaad jerky" "Teeth chandelier" "Aero works on something with Nora, Alex has a heartwarming moment, Alok.. cuts his hand open, AND RAMPART'S GOING TO WAR." "Friendship ended with KACKLES Now MINA'S CREATURE FROM THE ABYSS is my best friend" "Fuck you" "I'd rather not see that" "azazel kinda hot, hopefully quentillius's type" "🤨" "YOU ARE NOT TAXIDERMYING AN ENTIRE ADULT DRAGON AND PUTTING IT ON MY HOUSE" "Funeral Outfit" "You look drop dead gorgeous" (actual compliment) "Don't patronize me." "We're just discussing how Azazel doesn't have any friends" "OH GODS HE WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE FROGS" "FOR GRANDMAAAAAAAAAA" "STOP MAKING DRAZHOMIR CRY" (FREQUENT) "...do you think quentillius would care if I trashed his dorm and left a puddle of blood on the carpet?" "YEAH?" "Quenzazel" "you are not supposed to encourage this" "You want to kiss him ON THE LIPS" "Aurora's the only one who won't psychoanalyze me" "I WANT MY FRIENDS BACK" "Is this Rampart's friend?" "NO" "He's fine-" "Oh thank god" "But-" "NO." "Don't eat it" (frequent) "I have interacted with Larine like 4 times and we are best friends" "I almost died saving a man I knew for 5 minutes" "Me and Urzmaktok are out of a job! :D Strixhaven shut down! :D" i will add more. that is a threat.

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

Liliana Vess Propaganda Post

shes a multiple centuries old necromancer. she accidentally poisoned her own brother and he went evil then she was sad about it for ages. shes been historically manipulated by some guy whose identity was unknown for ages and whose lore is contradictory. the laws of reality got altered so she made a pact with four demons brokered by an evil dragon to live forever and got cool tattoos. she seduced one of mtg's other main characters then betrayed him. and also dated his best friend iirc. she cursed a guy to go evil and go around killing all planeswalkers. she killed one of the demons she made a deal with. she blew up an ancient demon prison to kill another one. she joined a group of well meaning heroes and made friends with them but then it turned out her real motives involved killing another of those demons, who she ripped apart with zombies and let her undead feast on, and her actions tore the group apart. they also got beat up real bad by the dragon she made the deal with. she went to another plane and killed the last demon but the pact defaulted and she was indebted to the evil dragon, who made her turn on her allies and go evil. she commanded his zombie legions when he tried to absorb the power of every other interplanar magic user. after her friend died attacking him she betrayed said evil dragon and stole his magic with his own giant zombies. she ran away and was declared a fugitive. theres other stuff that happened after that where she did more morally ambiguous things but ngl i kind of lost track of shit. she was a schoolteacher and defended the school. shes really cool and hot. shes super morally complex. shes even got a bunch of good cards that people dont like playing against sometimes. i love her a lot. please vote for my necromancer girlboss queen

she's a necromancer. she's fantasy catholic. her parents tried getting her to become a nun to curb her wild and crazy attitude and in response she had more sex with MORE stableboys. she accidentally turned her sick dying brother into a zombie while trying to heal him. she bargained for eternal life/youth and unlimited power by making a deal with four demons. when she stopped being into the whole demon's plaything thing, she made a deal with the dragon who brokered the contracts to get out of them. she manipulated, gaslit, and seduced a powerful young telepath into helping her break these contracts and becoming her dark prince of a crime syndicate, and then accidentally fell in love with him FOR REAL. she (paid for someone to) murder his boyfriend to make sure he would help her, because she doesn't know how to ask for help, she only knows how to force people into situations where their only option is helping her. it didn't work. her trust issues gave him trust issues which gave her more trust issues. she tried it with him AGAIN years later and was such a pitiful little meow meow about it he said yes even while knowing it was a mistake. his entire friend group thought he was crazy to do it because they could see all her red flags from the moon. she's fun and flirty and lives only for herself. as the flagship Black Mana(tm) character for Magic: The Gathering's color theory, everything she does is selfish, power-mongering, exploitative, and assumes everyone else is doing the same thing. in her good guy redemption arc, she asked a vampire how he just "decided to stop eating people". she doesn't know what a mango is.

[riotwritesthings]

One Shots - WinterIron Pt.1

All the WinterIron one shots I’ve written conveniently in one place! Part 1 of 2, because DANG were there a lot!

I did by best to sort them by rating and length, but plz know I rate with my rate and little logic lol. Also I tried to include links to any art relating to the fics, but if I missed any please let me know!

Canon/Canon-adjacent

Rated G

Icy Blue - G, 200 - poem-type thing,

Hiccups - G, 200 - Fluff, early morning softness

Soft Cuddles - G, 250 - Fluff, the fluffiest domestic fluff

The Proper Size - G, 300 - Fluff, grumpy Bucky doing his best "Knowing each other’s clothing/shoe sizes"

Starmakers - G, 300 - Fluff, ficlet, art, space jellyfish, heart eyes Tony just wants to enjoy a day off with his boyfriend, but apparently there's something they need to do first.

the icarus to your certainty - G, 400 - Fluff and Feels, sugary fluff

A First Time for Everything - G, 550 - Fluff, pillow forts, unapologetic sap

Petrichor and Petcare - G, 500 - Fluff, ficlet, art, heart eyes, established relationship, shmoop It shouldn't even be possible for Bucky to fall further in love, but walking through the city on a rainy Wednesday he somehow manages it

to change this lonely life - G, 650 - Fluff, Foreigner lyrics, extreme softness Loud music means Tony is in a good mood, which is one of Bucky’s favorite things. He’s still not prepared for the sight that greets him when he walks into the lab.

Rated T

Just Don’t Bite Me, Okay? - T, 404 - vaguely post-AoU, moodboard and tiny fic, non-graphic injury, animal transformation, Bucky Barnes on the run, Tony Stark has always been a cat but now it’s official Tony hates magic. He hates it for a lot of reasons, not least of all his current predicament. Bucky on the other hand is much too busy struggling to stay alive to worry about anything else, much less magic. Right up until he finds an injured cat in an alley.

The New Game - T, 550 - Fluff, Humor, established relationship, avengers game night “They hate us because we’re in love.”

sick fic - T, 600 - Fluff, fluff, and more fluff

I know your weakness (it’s kisses) - T, 650 - Fluff, pining, dumb boys Bucky isn’t pining. Because if he was, he’d be in trouble.

Brain Freeze - T, 700 - Humor, pre-relationship, banter, Avengers family game night They might be on the run, but there is always time for ice cream.

Could be Life and Death - T, 700 - Humor, Pining morons, Bucky and the Very Bad Date, Tony to the rescue ‘Any chance you can fake an Avengers emergency and get me out of here?’

Normal Business Hours - T, 700 - Humor, banter, implied graverobbing, just a necromancer and his zombie assistant Tony and his newest assistant have a mission to accomplish, but first they have to contend with a locked gate.

But With Fewer Minotaurs - T, 1k - Avengers Academy, Fluff, pillowforts, pre-relationship "Uh, am I interrupting something?” Bucky asks, freezing just outside the elevator on the top floor of Stark Tower. The entire large, open floor penthouse has been completely taken up by walls upon walls of blankets, draped over furniture and hanging from the ceiling.

eyeshadow of seduction - T, 1k - Avengers Academy, humor, pining morons and medling friends

I get angry (and then sad) - T, 1k - Humor, you know I got that happy ending Tony wakes up in the hospital. He’s not quite sure how he got here, but he knows there’s a very disturbing news report playing on the TV.

it don’t take a word - T, 1k - Crack, first kiss Tony is getting another lecture from Steve. Not unusual. The topic is new though, and if Bucky had just noticed that Tony’s been flirting with him like crazy, they wouldn’t be in this mess.

Timing Isn’t Everything - T, 1k - Humor, Love Confession SFW Sunday: Word, Dialogue

you are building a house - T, 1.1k - poem-type thing, Angst, Implied period-typical homophobia, bonding, happy ending, hurt/comfort You have always lived behind a wall built of the things you can’t say And then there’s him With his tower of walls built up into the sky

The Flirt - T, 1.1k - Crack, Humor, established relationship, Tony the Flirt, Bucky is amused, strong confident relationships, Avengers family shenanigans, team as family, teasing, banter Bucky's not one for jealousy, which is good, because he is dating possibly the biggest flirt on the planet. Mostly he finds it hilarious

Rats and Bats and Possums - T, 1.2k - Humor, fluff, Humor, fluff, pining Bucky and Tony are trying to find ghosts. Mostly this means they trudge around broken down houses getting attacked by vermin, but Bucky isn’t actually complaining. (ART)

love's gonna find me out - T, 1.3k - Fluff and Feels, Hidden Injury, Established Relationship, fluffier than it sounds After yet another long, dangerous mission with the Avengers, Bucky wants nothing more than a quick shower and to collapse into bed. With that in mind he’s already stripping off his shirt as soon as he’s through the door to the bedroom, and Bucky only remembers why that’s a bad idea when Tony sucks in a sharp breath behind him.

can’t start a fire (without a spark) - T, 2.4k - Humor, pining, denial Tony is forced to stay home while the rest of team is away on a mission, and finds out that being left out isn’t actually the part he hates the most.

When is a bed not a bed? (When you’re not in it) (Chapter 2) - T, 2.5k - Humor, non-graphic injury and violence Now with chapter 2, because no bed sharing fic is truly complete until they’re home.)

I had no choice (but baby to get it right) - T, 2.5k - Soulmate AU, That awkward moment where you meet your soulmate mid-fist fight After all those years of furtively dreaming about it, reading everything from scientific papers to romance novels, after all the times he told himself not to but still hoped, Tony thought he knew what to expect if this day ever came. Finally, after all this time, all the worrying and wondering and telling himself to just give up already, he finally meets his soulmate and finds out what all the hype is about, and it has to be like this. It just has to be Barnes.

When is a bed not a bed? (When you’re not in it) - T, 2.7k - Crack, crack, bedsharing, pining There’s a tiny safe house, with one tiny window and one tiny couch. And one tiny little bed.

Hero is a Relative Term - T, 3k - Humor, established relationship Another day, another kidnapping, and Tony’s biggest concern is that he’s never going to live this down.

Show Tunes and Extra Sauce - T, 4.5k - Post IM1 AU, Fluff, Humor, modern!bodyguard!Bucky, pining, snark So maybe three years in Bucky is completely in love, and this might be his first bodyguard gig but he's pretty sure that's breaking Rule One. It's definitely one of the top five rules, at the very least. He can't even be surprised with himself either, not when it's Tony. Bucky’s job is basically to hang out with his crush all the time, and sure sometimes he gets shot or stabbed or has to physically drag Tony out of his lab when he starts sleep-deprived-rambling about building some piece of tech from a scifi movie, but most days Bucky doesn't have a single thing to complain about. And then there's Valentine's Day.

Rated M

A Monster - M, 150 - poem-type thing,

Early Mornings - M, 200 - Fluff, ultimate softness "Tracing each other’s faces in the early morning light."

In a Fight - M, 300 - poem-type thing, angst, fluff

Cat and Mouse - M, 300 - Winter Soldier / Superior Iron Man, violence as a form of flirting

INTENSLY - M, 300 - Crack, Bucky is going to horny jail “I’m gonna turn the hose on you.”

Not the Expected Confession - M, 850 - Humor, mutual pining, truth serum gone awry “A truth serum?” Tony demands with a scoff, “are we in a terrible spy movie!? Will that even work on you?” He addresses the last part to Bucky directly, completely ignoring their captor, who lets out an annoyed huff.

Broken Promises - M, 1.4k - Humor, Established Relationship, Secret Sex, not so secret sex It shouldn’t be that hard to keep their hands off each other while trapped in a tiny safe house with their teammates, right? Right?!

Ode to Yoga Pants - M, 2.2k - Humor, Mutually pining morons OR the continued terrible mating dance of Bucky and Tony, AKA when betting on your friends stops being fun

Making Sacrifices - M, 2.2k - PWP, Established Relationship, werewolf!Bucky, Dirty Talk, Breeding Kink It happens often enough that when Tony texts him for help with something vague Bucky doesn’t think anything of it, just cuts his workout short and heads up to their bedroom. He’s not at all prepared for what he finds waiting for him, but Bucky is nothing if not adaptable.

Rated E

Metal - E, 500 - PWP, unabashed metal arm porn

Missed Seeing You - E, 500 - PWP, Webcam/Video Chat Sex “Are... are you talking to my butt?”

The Dangers of Lace - E, 1.3k - PWP, Established Relationship, Lace Panties, Dry Humping, Anal Fingering Tony really needs to stop wearing ill-fitting pants around the workshop, or Bucky can’t be held responsible for his actions.

Feel Something Real - E, 1.5k - Avengers Academy, PWP, Spanking Bucky doesn't regret that he and Tony decided to take it slow when they started dating, but he is a little disappointed that he’s just now learning all sorts of fun things.

The Three Step Plan - E, 1.8k - PWP, Massage, Anal Fingering Bucky has a plan for getting Tony to relax after a long week. Step one involves getting his fingers on Tony and working out all those knots from his muscles. Step two involves getting his fingers in Tony.

No Patience and Minimal Planning - E, 2.4k - Winter Soldier / Superior Iron Man, PWP, Dub-con, enemies with benefits, power bottom, dirty talk, bondage, breathplay, powerplay Tony Stark is the Superior Iron Man, and he always gets what he wants. Especially when what he wants is six feet of deadly muscle with a gorgeous metal arm, standing orders to kill him on sight be damned.

Location Matters - E, 2.6k - PWP, semi-public sex, anal fingering, begging, dirty talk, edging, orgasm delay Pantries have never been on the list of ‘sexy’ places for Tony, but god, they might be now.

Only a Phone Call Away (part 2) - E, 3.2k - PWP, teasing, phone sex, marathon sex, orgasm denial Tony is across the country for work, and then Bucky is across the world for a mission, but they always find a way to keep in touch. Even when Bucky would rather be without the distraction. (Now with chapter 2, featuring Bucky getting his Revenge)

For Science - E, 6k - PWP, with feelings, size kink Tony makes a very important discovery. In Bucky’s pants. Further investigation is needed.

Baby Crazy - E, 8k - Crack, Humor, crack For some reason, the children of New York love Bucky Barnes. It’s heartwarming to witness, and it’s making it really hard for Tony to ignore his gigantic crush on the man. Especially because Tony can’t stop suggesting they maybe have a baby together. The rest of the Avengers just want a vacation. (ART)

Melt into Me (Your Words Are My Own) - E, 18k - Humor, Angst, Smut, Heavy casual praise kink, pining, non-graphic injury, self care is big sexy Bucky has a new strategy for getting Tony to take proper human care of himself. Tony has never been so well fed, hydrated, thoroughly rested, and confused in all his life. That doesn’t mean he wants it to stop, and it’s amazing how many boring adult things Bucky can get him to do just by patting his head and calling him ‘good boy’. Right up until Tony possibly ruins everything. (ART) (ART)

Road Hazards - E, 45k - Humor, Smut, Road Trip, Developing Relationship, lots of banter Steve and Bucky's BFF road trip is not going well. For starters, Steve couldn't even make it, and for some bizarre reason asked Tony to take his place. The fact that it’s only a couple days before someone is trying to kill them isn’t nearly as stressful as the fact that Bucky and Tony have never really had an actual conversation. It’s hard to avoid someone when stuck in a car with them though, and if they manage to stay alive they just might learn a thing or two.

[princessshikky]

10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 Tags

@squirrelwithatophat tagged me, and I'm just going to pretend I'm fashionably late to the party or something.

As far as I understand, you just name 10 of your favorite characters from 10 fandoms? Is that it? Also, I'm not going to rank them, it's not a "top 10", they're all my favorites.

Chi Xiaochi, "Don't pick up boyfriends from the trash bin"

One of the best protagonists ever, and here's why: he's extremely ruthless, calculating and manipulative, cruel and vindictive... but he's not a villain protagonists, he actually has a solid moral compass and a strict code of ethics. He's never needlessly cruel, and while he may initially come off as a jerk because of his cynicism and a devil-may-care attitude, Chi Xiaochi is actually a very kind and caring person. But when he's dealing with his "targets", who are awful, horrible, no-good scum-of-the-earth, CXC is absolutely the scheming bastard. And it's glorious. Also extremely rare in a protagonist, which makes CXC stand out.

Oh, and he's very proactive, which can't hurt. Love me a proactive protagonist.

2. Wen Ning, "Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation"

A sweet, gentle zombie whose superpower is turning into a roaring berserker when he feels like it. Also he's extremely loyal, nice to people, and he once made a grown-up man cry just by talking.

3. Anders, "Dragon Age 2"

Anders is my favourite Bioware character, period. He's the person who spent years being brainwashed by a corrupt theocracy, defied them at every turn, risked his life to provide free medical care to refugees, then went out of his way to try and start a revolution against said corrupt theocracy. And it was awesome. Honestly, the chantry boom on its own would've been enough to make me love Anders even if he were a homicidal maniac, but he's also very caring, brave and devoted person. And gorgeous. And passionate. And is the real hero of "DA2", because while Hawke just runs around and does crime, Anders is there peacefully (and not-so-peacefully) protesting against the people who would execute him for his mere existence.

4. Luffy, "One Piece"

Again: love me a proactive protagonist who does stuff and moves the plot instead of waiting for stuff to happen to him. And Luffy's awesome.

5. Sir Lancelot of the Arthurian Legend

I love almost every iteration of sir Lancelot (let's just all pretend "The mists of Avalon" don't exist, ok?). He's perfect. Nothing else to say.

6. Ned Stark, "A Song of Ice and Fire"

Ned is a fundamentally good person, which makes him an awful politician and costs him in the long run... but you know what else that makes him? A perfect husband/father material.

7. Iskander, "Fate/Zero"

A charisma that literally moved armies. The only person to weaponise the power of friendship. Also Iskander is surprisingly smart, and a lot of his seemingly stupid and rash decisions are well thought-out, once you stop to think about them.

8. John Gaius, "The Locked Tomb"

The Evil Overlord done right. Like, he's extremely obviously evil, he's literally a necromancer waging war against humanity, and yet I can totally believe people are standing in line to join his army. Hell, I'd stand in line to join his army! John Gaius is what you get when someone reads "200 things I'd do if I became an evil overlord" and says "Hey, that sounds perfectly reasonable, I'm doing that".

9. Alexander Tiedermann, "Dark"

Perhaps one of the healthiest, sanest, nicest characters in the whole show. I also love how he's initially presented as a cold, uncaring mogul only to be later shown as a loyal and caring husband and father and a decent human being overall. Considering how most of the cast are awful people, Alexander was a breath of fresh air every time he was on screen.

10. Hob Gadling, "The Sandman"

I just like his story arc. The immortal human who never gives up on humanity, who never loses hope, who loves this life and this world, whose endless optimism and perseverance impresses even the beings who stand above gods. Neat.

[rosieselfships]

ok so like on the topic of oc selfshipping, heres a quick summary of some of my fav ocs (that i may or may not selfship with)

Dustin: hes a gross and feral serial killer bisexual twink. He has gone through a lot of character development over the years since i’ve made him, but hes not opposed to violence, may or may not have anger issues, and hates showering, but despite all this hes Just a Little Guy, a poor little meow meow if you will. He is pretty outgoing and loves any attention, even negative attention. He gets on people’s nerves a lot. He has...issues, but i can’t help but to like him.

Aspen: Werewolf lesbian. Shes outgoing, friendly, and active. She can be slightly reckless and hates boredom. She has a big heart. 

Zeph: your necromancer boyfriend is gnc af. He’s a lonely boy who creeps people out with his demeanor and his obsession with death. He usually means no harm, he just thinks its fun and cool to turn an entire graveyard into a zombie army. Hes easygoing and calm, very friendly, a little too friendly. 

[astarion-appreciation-station]

So I've played D&D in some form for 20 years. Started in college, met my husband over it, still play it today. I've seen a lot of tips and tricks over the years.

One trick I like while playing a necromancer is Summon Undead.

This is different than the usual animate dead because you can choose a specific type of undead to summon. So here's what you can do!

1) Summon a Putrid Undead. Among the other usual undead traits it has this:

Okay great, it poisons enemies that's good

*BUT WAIT THERES MORE!*

2) Poison an enemy round one. On the undead's turn attack with this:

3) So now you have a chance to paralyze a target and keep it paralysed as long as it fails saves. Combine this with ways to lower the chance of a failure (I personally used this with an eloquence bard / Unsettling Words - basically a use of Bardic Inspiration that subtracts the roll from a creatures next save) and you have an almost permenantly stunned enemy.

That's great!

...

So how does this relate to BG3?

Well, imagine my surprise when I first played to see that Cazador had Putrid Zombies with a poison aura that paralyzed on hit. I almost wiped because of that.

But you know what? I wasn't even mad, because I recognized the same trick I had used in a past game!

... Reluctantly, I had to give Caz mad props for that. He still died horribly for hurting my vampire boyfriend but for a moment, I respected his game.

From one necromancer to another.

[ashestoashesjc]

A Necromancer & His Zombie Boyfriend At An AirBnB

400 Word Flash Fiction (1)/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10

“I told you they wouldn’t have complimentary breakfast. It’s not a Holiday Inn,” Ulrick grumbled, crashing onto the floral monstrosity of a queen size guest bed.  

“Rrrrrr. <Doesn’t hurt to ask,>” hummed Sett from the half bath, amidst whistling and the careful folding of hand towels.

Rising irritably to his feet, Ulrick wandered into the beige bathroom, the pang of early morning hunger still furrowing his eyebrows. He wrapped his arms around Sett’s bare waist and buried his face into his back. “What’s got you so chipper?” he asked, voice muffled in cool, gray flesh. 

Sett, eyes still focused on the towels, shrugged. “Rrrrr. <I don’t know.> Grrrr... rrr. <Just nice to get to feel... normal with you.>” He turned to smile his half-cocked smile at Ulrick, whose flushed cheeks defied his attempts at discretion. 

Pulling his arms back and clearing his throat, Ulrick said, in a compensatorily deeper tone, “Yeah, well. Where do you want to eat?” 

Sett’s eyes lilted up as he thought for a moment. “Grrrr... <Hmm...> RrrrRRrrrr. <Wherever the trash collectors haven’t been yet,>” he said, to which Ulrick laughed.

“I’ve heard great things about IHOP’s pancakes and its overabundance of stray cats, who, incidentally, also love the pancakes.” 

This made Sett laugh as well, though it was more like the deep, guttural rattling of a failing car engine. This, in turn, made Ulrick sigh lovingly, evaporating his sour mood. The two, lost thoroughly in each other’s eyes, were shaken from the trance by a rapping at the door. 

“Oh, boys!” It was the more tan of the two middle aged women who ran the AirBnB. She just had a sun-damaged sound about her. 

“Remember what I said about not serving breakfast? Well, a friend of ours, Dottie, over on Bleecker - oh, you should try her scones, she makes terrific scones - is always trying out new recipes and we’re always making excuses to not try them. But I’m sure she’d be happy to have two hungry, growing fellas to experiment on!”

Ulrick’s eyebrows raised. “Well, there’s one problem solved,” he said to Sett. 

About to speak but remembering their host in hearing distance, Sett instead signed a question to Ulrick. 

Nodding, Ulrick spoke up, “Uh, just wondering for no reason at all, but... does this friend of yours, Dottie on Bleecker, have any pets?”

“Oh, um... two cats - Persians, I believe - and a chihuahua. Why do you ask?” she said.

“Two problems solved,” said Ulrick. 

[navstuffs]

Cthulhu vs Godzilla

Pairing: Adrian Chase x gn!reader

Warning: none, kinda crack fanfic

Summary: You and Adrian always argued about the weirdest topics.

Author's note: i had this fanfic all ready and then my stupid ass deleted the whole thing. so i am rewriting as a bunch of headcanons. credits to my husband over the King Kong falling in love with Godzilla.

You had promised Emilia you wouldn't let your boyfriend Adrian's crazy ideas influence you when you two started dating

And after almost a year, Emilia just saw improvements. Before-you-Adrian would only appear with Peacemaker (always late or not appear). After-you-Adrian always showed up in time especially after you two moved together

You two seemed happy and for more Emilia tried to hide, she was happy for you. There was just one problem: every time you two discussed or argued, it was about the most unusual topics

One morning, when Emilia and Clemson arrive at the base and see you, Adrian and Chris into a deep discussion in Murn's office. Eagly is walking around and seems irritated

Despite the efforts from Emilia and Clemson, they are ignored and you three continue into the discussion. Adrian seems fascinated and scared looking back and forth between you and Chris

When Adrian gets up, imitating what seemed an loud T-Rex, Clemson gets annoyed and followed close by Eagly and Emilia, bursts into the room.

"...that's why Godzilla would win against Megalodon" Adrian says, looking at you. Chris and him high five while you shake your head.

"I call it bullshit."

"So instead of worrying about the pseudo necromancer we are going to fight later, you all decide to discuss Godzilla and Megalodon?"

Murn seems done while you three try to explain this all started when you claimed sharks were the strongest animals on earth. The topic went to shark vs grizzly bears and passed on honey badgers vs Tasmanian devils. You chose Tasmanian devils and sharks while Adrian and Chris chose the other two and the arguing just got worse from there. Clemson looks at Emilia for help but she looks as done as he is.

"So what do you think Murn, sharks or grizzly bears? Just to let you know, grizzlies have an unlimited tank of oxygen and are allies with orcas."

"That is called cheating, Adrian."

Clemson doesn't seem surprised by Adrian's question or your reply, he is more disgusted. Clemson looks at you and when he notices your serious face waiting for his answer, he points at the door tired

"Get the hell out of my office. All of you."

During the whole day, you continue to discuss with Adrian. Peacemaker eventually gives up on participating in the conversation, complaining that Adrian would always eventually agree with you. The chosen targets now were Cthulhu vs Godzilla and Clemson was giving you dead eyes during the whole exchange.

"I am sorry Adrian, but if you can't see Cthulhu would destroy Godzilla we can't date anymore."

"Babe, we don't know if they could be friends in the bottom of the sea. Godzilla could befriend him and they could fall in love, marry and have babies? Then after ten years together when Cthulhu is sleeping at their marital bed, Godzilla strikes, bye bye Cthulhu."

"What about the kids? Besides what would Cthulhu possibly see on Godzilla? "

"I don't know. Cthulhu is all lonely at the bottom of the sea for I don't know how many years, a cute pre-historic dinosaur appears, flirting. Who wouldn't?"

"Cthulhu is the representation of fear and panic. He doesn't need love. Also, hold on, you find Godzilla cute?"

"Yes. You don't?"

"No."

"Well, we all know King Kong fell in love with Godzilla as well. Oh look, maybe King Kong would join forces with Godzilla to defeat Chtulhu?"

"Can't you two focus on the darn briefing?"

Later after the mission, Emilia watches as you and Adrian walk together to his car. Adrian was helping you to enter the car since you hurt your arm during the mission, bitten by one of the "zombies." It was hard to explain to Vigilante you weren't gonna turn into an actual zombie, there was no need for an intense search for a cure that didn't exist, and those people were just hypnotized to think they were actual "zombies."

Her eyes met with Peacemaker's and she decides to tease him

"Do you miss him? Your number one fan being your constant shadow?

"You kidding right? I am just waiting for the invitation on that threesome. But I am happy for them because Adrian is out of my ass. Also," he leaned over towards her, whispering "they look cute together, don't they?"

"Yeah. Yeah, they do."

[yaboi-julien]

Some random blupjeans doodles.

These two give off the energy of if Morticia and Gomez shared a braincell lmao (Description under cut)

[ID: all drawings are done in a simple cartoony pencil-sketch style.

The first image is a two-panel comic:

In the first panel Barry, a chubby short haired human man with glasses holding a book, is sitting next to Lup, a slim elf woman with long hair in a pony tail with a cocky expression and her cheek resting in her hand. Barry says: “Did you know most of the dinosaurs in museums are casts and not real bones?” And Lup responds: “Huh, did your nerd book tell you that one?

The second panel shows a neutral faced Barry off to the side saying: “No, just a series of very disappointing museum visits”. Across the panel there is a flashback of Barry sitting on the floor in a necromancers robe, holding a book open and raising a hand with necromantic energy. In front of him, a small raptor dinosaur bone mount with a leash added around its neck has been placed on a pentagram surrounded by candles. Barry looks quizically at his book, confused as to why his spell isn’t working.

The second image is a collection of three drawings in the same style:

First is a drawing of Taako, an elven man similar in appearance to Lup who is holding up a burnt-out bowled candle. There’s a box in the background labelled “Taako’s Candles” with a few more burnt-out candles around and in it. Taako has an infuriated look on his face as he shouts: “LUP! Your boyfriend has been using my scented candles to raise the dead again!”

In the second drawing, Barry stands with a sleepy expression and his hands in his bluejeans pockets. His shirt reads: “Reduce, Reuse, Re-animate”.

In the third drawing Barry and Lup are sitting on a blanket on the ground in a graveyard with a picnicking basket between them. Barry’s wearing a dress shirt and jeans, both of which are slightly singed, and Lup is wearing a dress and holding her still smoking wand. Burnt and destroyed Zombies are laying all through the graveyard around them, as they stare lovingly into each other’s eyes. The caption reads: “Date Night”.

END]

[whyareyoureyesblack]

All His Boyfriends are Dead pt2

The digging was the worst part, Tord decided.

Getting tons of clothes, first aid kits, and hammers and shovels without raising suspicion? Oh, he could’ve been buying a case of soda for all the attention he got.

Finding the grave in the middle of the night? A piece of cake.

Seeing Edd’s name on the grave stone, and knowing he’d be face to face with his remains? Oh sign Tord right up! That’s why he came here after all! If he could just skip right to that point, Tord would!

But this? The digging? Kicking the spade into the settled ground and heaving large clumps of heavy dirt and grass and roots over his shoulder, and struggling to see with just a lantern in the cloudy night? Fuck. That. His shoulders and hands were aching before he even got two feet down, dirt clinging to the knees of his jeans and his knuckles and sweat poured down his face. This, this was literal hell.

By the time he hit the coffin with a solid thud, Tord’s arms were burning and he decided that maybe he could just try and get the next few to burst out of the ground themselves like in those horror movies.

Tord struggled to get the last of the dirt off of the coffin lid, wiping sweat with dirty, blistered hands.

Prying it open was like a breath of fresh air, a relief. Even though the air coming from the coffin most certainly wasn’t.

Tord wrinkled his nose at the smell of rot, but his eyes were focused on the corpse.

Seven or eight years seemed to work wonders for decay. Tord could see more bone than flesh, and whatever flesh he could see was molted and pale green. The black suit was worn and dusty and crumpled, and the way it sagged let Tord know that Edd’s chest and stomach must’ve caved in during decomposition. Edd’s face was still his, but only faintly. His jaw gapping, the skin sagging off his cheek bones and chin and neck. Black rotted liquid stained his teeth, for he no longer had lips or a nose.

Tord felt tears prick his eyes, and he let them fall and streak his dirt stained face as he leaped up on the edge of the hole he had dug. It was difficult for him to reach and he had to make a few swipes at the large duffle bag there until he was able to drag it into the hole with him.

He unzipped the bag and dug through the clattering stuffed objects, searching.

Taking out a large glass jar full of herbs and roots, Tord uncapped the lid and grabbed a handful. He crumpled some of the larger bits between his fingers and threw them over Edd’s rotten body. Resealing the rest, Tord then scoured through his bag once again.

He pulled out a water bottle that was not full of water, and lightly poured some of the pink-brown liquid into Edd’s gaping mouth. It trickled out the holes in Edd’s cheeks, and bubbled in his throat.

Before stumbling back over to his bag, Tord used the ring he was wearing (an iron band with a spike on the back, made from a coffin nail) to slice open the skin of the pad of his finger. Hand shaking, Tord waited until four drops of his own blood dripped onto Edd’s rotting face before wrapping a torn cloth from his pocket around his bleeding digit. Then, Tord stuffed the water bottle into the bag and, groaning a bit, Tord shoved the whole thing out on the lip of the hole.

Climbing out was a chore, and Tord slipped a few times before he managed to haul himself out of the grave. Not bothering to stand, Tord crawled over to the book he left beside his backpack. Hissing in pain, Tord snatched the book from the ground and opened it to the page he bookmarked with a eulogy newspaper clipping, stating the death of three men in a house explosion.

He read through the steps and notes he had taken, counting them off and muttering how stupidly complicated is was to raise someone from the dead.

When he was sure he had done it right, Tord pulled out two heavy candles from the duffle bag and lit them before placing them on either side of him. He sat with crossed legs, pants and coat stained in dirt and grass, and placed the book in his lap.

Tord momentarily caught himself praying that this worked, then laughed at himself, because how satirical do you have to be to pray for something like this.

Tord shook off his laughter, took a deep breath to steady himself, and raised his hands out to either side of him, hovering above the flames of the candles.

The words he chanted from the book rolled off his tongue almost without looking, the incantation rumbling out of his chest and into the cool night air. Unlike in movies, the wind didn’t pick up, the outside didn’t get any darker or colder. But Tord could tell something was happening. The words that gasped into the air from his lips made his mouth feel ticklish, the roof of his mouth itching. A chill went down his spine, the back of his hands (still about a foot away from the flames of the candles) heating up as if they were on fire. His eyes stung like he had something stuck under the lids, and the irises of his eyes brightened until they glowed. Tears slipped down his face and they stung like nails scratching down his cheeks, but Tord didn’t stop chanting.

Everything felt lighter, fainter, like his clothes and the book in his lap weren’t touching him. He couldn’t feel the ground under him. But he didn’t stop.

The last word left him breathless in a way that felt like hitting a floor on your back, and his vision flickered, one eye showing white and the other showing black. Somehow, Tord managed to keep his body still, in the same position as always, even though he was struggling to breathe.

Then nothing happened.

Breathing hard and blinking spots from his still gleaming eyes, Tord dropped his hands into his lap, listening closely.

Tears dripped from his eyes and onto the book, onto his hands, and Tord didn’t hear anything.

Just when Tord was looking back at the book, wondering what he messed up on, he heard a heaving gasp, so sharp and hallow that it reminded him of a death rattle.

Tord’s head snapped up, startled, and saw a skeletal hand claw at the lip of the grave. A second hand came up, stabbing into the ground with bone finger tips. It was hard to tell if it was flesh or the suit that was hanging off the arms.

Hitching gasps filled the air, like someone being crushed under weight. With a definite scrape of shoes slipping on the messy sides of the grave, the corpse climbed from the grave with sharp, messy movements. It’s head bowed, Tord could only see wispy thin hair, long and crisp like leaves.

Tord forgot the book as he moved forward into a crawl. He couldn’t even feel the sting of his hand or the soreness of his legs or the dizziness, coming just short of the corpse that paused just as it’s legs found ground.

Tord reached a hand up, but the corpse suddenly let out heaving gasps, deep and heavy like someone who had been held under water. Then, he coughed, a very dry sound, and water splattered the ground in front of Tord’s knees. A harsh coughing fit followed, all air and a few clicks.

“Edd?” Tord asked, voice shaking with a sticky tongue.

The corpse jumped, and the head shot up, mangled face just inches from Tord’s.

The entire lower half of his face was mainly bone, with some old flesh clinging on in streaks like ribbons. His eye sockets were empty and were a pit green, a thin oily black leaking from them like tears. His hair was thin and stuck oddly over his face. There was a slight tightening around his eye sockets, on the skin that still covered his temples, like he was squinting.

“Tord?” The corpse rasped in a voice that Tord remembered, although it was scratchy and very raw. Before Tord could answer, Edd seemed to wince, a hand going to where a majority of his neck had decomposed, “Ugh, my throat.”

Tord instantly scrambled over to his duffle bag, where he took out the same water bottle from before. He held it out for Edd to take.

“Right. Here, this should help.”

Edd probably couldn’t see all that well considering that he didn’t even question what was in the bottle before he unscrewed it. He brought it to his teeth (he had no lips), and let the ‘water’ pour into his mangled jaw. It seeped out the partings in his flesh, and splattered down through his jaw onto his decayed throat, where it instantly absorbed into the rotten flesh. The front of his suit was wet, but Edd didn’t seem to notice.

“Thanks…” Edd announced in a slightly less pained sounding tone, though his voice was still a bit raw.

Tord watched the way Edd’s teeth parted as he spoke.

“How do you feel?”

“A bit sick. Really tired. My whole body feels sore. Uh, where are we?” Edd spoke lowly, looking around, water bottle forgotten as Edd sat up straighter.

“Graveyard,” Tord answered, looking straight in the sockets that once held evergreen eyes, “What do you remember?”

Surprise colored Edd’s tone when he repeated, “Graveyard??”

“What do you remember?” Tord asked again, expression sincere, and Edd stopped trying to look around. The way he tilted his head let Tord know that Edd was concerned.

“I remember… going to sleep?”

“… That’s all?”

“I mean, yeah? It was after we went to the movies together, and I just went home and went to bed. That’s it.”

Tord felt more tears slip down his cheek, unsure if he was relieved or upset.

“Tord, why are you crying,” Edd sounded worried, and Tord was startled by cold fingers touching the side of his face, “What happened? Why are we here?”

“You… kind of. Died,” Tord admitted, and flashed a nervous smile.

Edd’s remaining skin slackened, in surprise or disbelief.

“I- what?”

“You died. In your sleep. Eight years ago.”

“Eight years? What are you talking about?!” Edd drew his hand back, seeming to understand that Tord wasn’t joking. Then Edd noticed that his hand had much less flesh than he probably recalled. Tord looked away as Edd let out a hitched gasp, staring at the bone and only ribbons of dried flesh coiled over stained bone.

Edd brought up his other hand, staring at bare bone along his fingers and molted flesh spider webbing the center of his palms and up the inside of his arms. He kept repeating ‘what the-??’ as he discovered new changes.

“Like I told you, my curse will kill everyone I love. It got you eight years ago, and I’ve been trying to figure out how to fix it ever since! I tried cures or something to counter it. I got charms and did rituals and got protective tattoos,” Tord pulled up one of his sleeves and showed off black ink scrawling up and down the back of his arm. Edd stared at them, and Tord sagged, looking ashamed, “But it never worked. None of it did. The curse still effected everyone else I came across. It’s taken all of you from me. But I found a loophole, and I can get you guys back, all of you! I had to turn to basically cursed magic, and that’s probably going to ruin my soul, but I’m getting you all back. And the curse can’t take any of away from me again! Because you’re already dead!”

Tears were freely streaking Tord’s cheeks, his words frantic and desperate sounding. He ended up breathing shakily as Edd absorbed his words.

Edd looked from him to his own dead hands, his teeth making a clicking noise when he winced at the exposed tendons.

“Okay.”

Tord stopped. “W-what?”

Edd met his eyes, his own empty eye sockets still streaming oily black. “I said 'okay’. I understand. It’s fine.”

“R- really?! You’re not mad and you don’t think I’m crazy or-”

Edd’s hands came up and fell on Tord’s shoulders, stilling him.

He had a light laugh in his words when he spoke, and the way his cheeks moved let Tord know that Edd was smiling.

“Tord. You just brought me back from the dead, I’m not mad. A little freaked out, but I guess I should be flattered.”

“Flattered?”

“You’re curse only affects those you love, right? Guess that means you really did love me back, even if you didn’t say it to my face,” Edd grinned, and Tord was a bit startled that the exposed teeth and thin flesh didn’t hinder the slight throb in Tord’s heart. “Not to mention that I’ve been dead for, what? Eight years? And you still came back for me.”

Tord reached out and pulled Edd to him, burying his face in the dirty shoulder of Edd’s dusty suit. When he hugged, his arms sunk in around Edd’s middle that would be gross if it was anyone else. The smell bothered Tord little. Edd let out a noise in surprise, but then he closed his mangled arms around Tord’s back.

“I can’t believe how much I’ve missed you.”

Edd laughed, “You’ve gotten sappy since I was alive, huh?”

“I can afford to be sappy now. You’re safe.”

For a moment, they held each other, and just spoke in quiet tones.

“I can’t believe you let my parents bury me in this suit.”

“I didn’t have much of a say. Besides, suits are expected when you’re buried.”

“Yeah, I know, but this suit has a bow tie. A bow tie, Tord. I look like a freakin puppet boy.”

“You do not look like a puppet boy.”

“That’s only because I probably look like an apocalyptic nightmare.”

“Would you rather look like a puppet boy?”

“No, but you get my point.”

Tord leaned up and kissed Edd where his lips used to be. Now, his lips met teeth and thin dry flesh. Edd let out a startled noise.

“Okay, we have to get going. I have eight other graves to dig up.”

“Did you just kiss me? Even though I don’t have lips? I think I don’t have lips- I mean I can’t feel them.” Edd looked up as Tord stood, gathering things and shoving them into the bags. “Wait, eight other graves?”

Tord paused a moment, picking up his backpack and unzipping it. He made a point not to look at Edd.

“I’m going to revive all of those I killed with my curse.”

“You mean, other people you fell in love with? While I was dead?”

“Yes,” Tord drew out the word, looking shy as he withdrew a jacket, “I was planning on getting all of you back, and I just know that all of you would get along together. Perhaps you’ll even love each other, given time.”

Edd crossed his nearly bone arms.

“You revived me so that you could set me up with other zombie guys?”

Tord held out a bundle of messily folded clothes.

“No. I revived you so that I could get you back. The possibility of dating my other dead lovers is a plus,” Tord offered, trying to look confidant. Edd didn’t take the clothes.

“Are they hot?”

“They were the last time I saw them alive. Now they might be more on the horror side of attractive, but I personally don’t see a problem with it. If you like, I’ll gladly tell you all about them on the way to the next grave.”

Edd wiped oily tears from his eye sockets, and let out a surprisingly amused sounding chuckle.

“Well, it beats being dead.”

As Edd got changed out of his ruined suit, Tord picked up his supplies. They left the grave open, and Edd mused that he should take his headstone with them. Tord told him no, but he was laughing.

The pants Tord brought didn’t fit at all on Edd, considering that a large portion of his flesh and organs had been eaten away by decay, but the hoodie Tord brought was plenty large enough to reach down to Edd’s flesh spotted thighs. His legs were well decayed, large portions of bone reveled under wrapper thin green molted bloated flesh. Edd made a joke about him being on a diet, and Tord commented that he’d look into finding something to help with his lack of skin and muscle.

They left the graveyard, leaving only an empty grave and an empty suit. Edd helped Tord carry some of his things, surprisingly still pretty strong without much of his muscles. Before they left, Tord tied a bandanna over the missing flesh on Edd’s exposed jaw and teeth. With that most obvious detail hidden, Edd could probably pass as normal at first glance or far away. Though his green pit eyes, still leaking black, were a dead give away, which Edd pointed out and Tord laughed and kissed him over the bandanna.

—

OGFUAHDJB ONE DOWN IM SO HAPP Y

[cyazurai]

Pick three random ocs and share three random facts about them!

Ohh, this is a fun question! Thank you for asking! 😊

Hmmm, most of my sims aren't really OCs, per se, but I'm still gonna pick some of them.

Theophile Babineaux

I don't know if most people remember him, but he's one of my favorite OCs, so he's one of the few I've turned into a sim. A random fact about him is that I created him as a funny concept: a gentleman zombie. Which, I admit, was entirely inspired by the gentlemen zombies in the Hildibrand questline in FFXIV. In Theo's story, though, his zombie-ism ends up being cured by a necromancer (and his boyfriend), Sasha Amori.

Astor Xin

This one I know I haven't shown very often, but he's the one that inspired Altaira Xin, who you can see over in @witheringsims's BACC. In his original story, he had no idea he was bisexual and just thought that everyone was attracted to their same-sex friends. He's not the brightest crayon in the box.

Wren Carmody

One of my sims that you all know well?! What is this? She actually grew up as an only child of a single father in a tiny, awful apartment in San Myshuno. Despite not having much she was happy; but still wants to turn her life around and move into a giant penthouse someday.

[theburiedgay]

Top MDZS deaths

Anyone can die. Who died best?

1. Wei Wuxian

As much as I appreciate The Cliff Scene in The Untamed, I've never heard of anything more hardcore than a necromancer concluding that his necromancy amulet is too powerful to exist, destroying it, and then getting devoured by his own zombie army. Metal as fuck.

2. Mo Xuanyu

Rejected by both sides of his family, the cultivation world, and the locals of his hometown. Congratulations on turning the humble enterprise of committing suicide in your room into a badass blood ritual that actually WORKED!! Name a bigger power move than resurrecting the founder of demonic cultivation to kill your abusers and then probably wreak havoc on the entire world or something idk that's up to him. The way that his body is preserved and lives on the rest of its natural life as a vessel for a stranger while his own soul is permanently destroyed?! Metal af.

3. Jin Guangyao

King!!!! King!!!! King behavior!!! First of all, your whole elaborately crafted web of lies comes crashing down and before you get the Hell out of dodge you stop to recover your beloved mother's remains, proving at last that in fact you do sometimes choose sentimentality over cold logic?? Getting stabbed by your best friend/sworn brother/paramour/whatever the fuck those two had going on and then standing up and walking towards him further impaling urself on his sword? Homoerotic as hell. And that's not all!! Getting attacked by the reassembled fierce corpse of your other sworn brother/ex-bestie/ex-employer/ex-boyfriend/or something that you murdered yourself?? Saying "stay and die with me" to Zewu Jun?? Romantic in the most unhinged of ways I love it. And then pushing him away saving his life at the last second before your neck is snapped (ouch!) and you are sealed in a coffin with your murder victim who was also your murderer and your bodies will be buried together forever O_o Good god!!! I'll be thinking about this the rest of my gd life!!! Fuck!!!

4. Xiao Xingchen

Pure elegance. Aesthetically flawless. The sheer simplicity of slicing ur own throat open in front of the risen corpse of your best friend you unwittingly killed, in front of the guy who tricked u into killing him, and bonus surprise, forcing said guy to experience Feelings for the first time. Shattering your own soul through the sheer force of your grief. Iconic.

5. A-Qing

Yes queen! You stood up to Xue Yang!! With no means of protecting urself! And after being losing your ability to see and speak and then fucking dying, you went back home to protect innocent wanderers from your resident serial killer!! This speaks of immense bravery, determination, persistence, morality, and altruism. Imagine what she could have done if she could have been a cultivator? She could have taken on the whole world single-handedly. Rest in piece A-Qing.

6. Jin Zixuan

The aesthetic of having ur actual heart ripped out. Exquisite. Falling to ur knees and using ur last breath to passive aggressively remind ur killer that you were TRYING to help ur beloved wife see her adored little brother again. Oh it stings!

Honorable Mention: The fiance of the woman who prayed to the dancing statue goddess for her fiance to love her the rest of his life that was subsequently eaten by said goddess. Bad luck king

[thetriggeredhappy]

Could you tell more about your players? The little you said sounds very neat and intriguing tbh :)

there’s four of them, and they got hired to help with keeping this dude in a holding cell long enough to make him go to his court date like The Next Day because the town guard honestly just gave up and kinda love him now. but oops he already escaped before they quite made it and they track him down but he sweeps them up in a whirlwind adventure through mysterious lands they don’t know or understand in a world where the planet has been charted already. then they learn more and end up instead hired to help save the world and protect the material plane, all while learning how shit got so fucked

there’s erryn, the angstman ranger, who ended up getting the prophecy title of The Lover. over the course of the campaign, starting with a wolf they name peaches that they find half-dead in a mostly-abandoned owlbear nest (having killed the owlbear), he has the strangest ability to communicate with creatures and spirits and things he shouldn’t. during one quest, wandering off from the group, he stumbles into one of the minor pantheon, and ends up being sucked into that little world, being cornered over and over by these little gods as they give him information, provide him comfort, scare him, swindle him, and overall take interest at a level that he finds strange. until, of course, the moment one beloved NPC (his character’s boyfriend, actually) sacrifices quite an absurd amount to bring him back from what’s basically the dead, and he learns that he’s the lover not because he’s loved (even if he is), but because he has so much love and kindness in his heart, and in this world, love is rewarded.

there’s leviloth, the brains artificer. later given the title The Princess. she was a leading force in figuring out more about the planar system until she found out (very early in the story!) that she’d been basically kidnapped from her home and her life where she was meant to be the princess of Hell by some absolute dickhead warlocks pretending to be sorcerers. over the course of the story she essentially learns about what a wonderful life she’s set up to have and forms bonds with a lot of characters, meaning she gets easily the most stressed out as the world keeps hurtling towards an abrupt end. she gets a lot of arcs about responsibility, about accountability, and also got kidnapped by the cowboy one that one time it keeps happening she keeps getting kidnapped also her dad got fridged then unfridged in a later sidequest it ruled

there’s darren, the himbo zombie. called The Second Chance. his entire continent (now called the Outergraves, home of the undead because nothing can survive there) was wiped out in a great catastrophe which nobody knew the origin of, how or why it happened, just that it happened. rapidly, things stop adding up. he seems to think it’s supposed to be twenty years ago, his calendar out of sync with everyone else. he can’t seem to remember… much of anything about his family, about his home, about himself. less and less, even. and more than that, an undead needs a necromancer, that’s the rule, isn’t it? the magic can’t come from nowhere. and most of all, the greatest mystery, what’s up with this ring that keeps giving him advice when things go completely to shit? (it’s the campaign antagonist. who is his necromancer. and who kind of has a crush on him because who wouldn’t darren rules)

and finally there’s solaris, the problem child, chaotic neutral, the monk. and The Seer. frankly, they didn’t even sign up for this. they’re just a cheetah tabaxi who kind of got scooped up by virk on account of being better than average at swindling. but they were also the only one in their party who knew how to fight, so jo’en took it upon himself to start training them personally when it became increasingly clear that their missions were extremely dangerous. during the process, solaris makes a point to pry, at points breaking into jo’en’s home, poking around other people’s things, and translating pages of text for the sake of information, and getting away with it. and the more they learn, the more they’re faced with the fact that there aren’t ulterior motives. jo’en genuinely trusts them with his life. virk genuinely wants the world to be a better place. and eventually they trust jo’en, just enough that he can deliver a final blow that seals their character arc—that he trusts them too, more than anyone he’s ever met, and he’s passing on his entire legacy to them, promoting them to a Captain and moving into retirement.

also leviloth and darren raised a baby owlbear together and started dating in that order. also erryn got essentially a curse on a mission and met a druid doctor NPC guy and they started dating too. also jo’en and solaris are QPPs. also solaris started dating another plane-saver like virk. virk’s sister actually. she’s my girlfriend’s favorite character of all time i think maybe which is fair she rules

[protectoroffaeries]

!! as someone with an MC named Ace i MUST hear about your Ace

thank u for giving me an opportunity to talk about my ace!!

i originially designed him as a self-indulgent mary sue for a series i really loved as a young teenager (13 i think) but he's taken on a bit of a life of his own

originally ace was a cis woman but when i realized my gender was trans, i transed his too lmaooo (and projected all my transition goals onto him including the ones fhat are impossible for me but not for him cause he's magic)

he's bisexual too also like me lmfaooo

speaking of his magic, he's a necromancer & ive created this complex theory of souls off some really basic necromancy and afterlife concepts - i could go into it but it requires a lot of explanation, the highlight is that if u can see souls like ace can, they look like slugs just floating around

he can do your traditional necromancer shit too - make a zombie, control some shadows, etc.

he used to be part of a magical religion (some may call it a cult, he tends to consider it not one, really, but he does grow to think it's uh, not for him lol) because his father was a pretty highranking member. his father put him in the position to be the religion's pope-esque figure & he abdicated the post a relatively short time later, but it's not a role that people usually retire from so he created a mini schism between people who believe he can't stop being the head of the church & the people who believe he can. he tries to ignore them all these days

he has an extended lifespan! he's 451 as of 2021

he's irish by birth but he's lived the past a hundred twenty years or so in the united states due to a fantasy conflict that revolved aroun his family and former cult religion

he's got a fucking ton of tattoos. simply covered in them from the neck down. i have detailed notes on them somewhere. my favorite is this very stylized snake he has interlaced over his collarbone - i'd like to get a verision of it myself one day. other notable tattoos include: a pair of flowers designed by his daughter, a sleeve full of seemingly random shit but all the objects are references to inside jokes, and a portrait of himself pre-transition lmao

he has two children, a son and a daughter. his relationship with his son is a little strained due to ace's inability to raise him when he was born (therefore leading ace to give him up to a woman who helped him out & expressed a desire to have a child herself). he did raise his daughter, and he was a single dad. the two of them are quite close

he has two sisters, both of them younger than him. one sister is 4 years younger, and ace was very protective of her when they were growing up. they had a rough childhood (their father abandoned the family & didn't acknowledge his kids for a couple decades, their mother was always abusive and then she died... not a Great Backstory Time) & that really instilled in him that he and his sister had to stick together and watch each other's backs. unfortunately, this sister was killed early on in the aforementioned religious-and-family conflict, along with her daughter, ace's niece. ace's brother-in-law survived (barely) & the two have a super awkward & strained relationship to this day.

the other sister is eighty-seven years younger than him (bc i love exploring the implications of 1000 yr lifespans lmao). ace is not particularly close to her due to their age difference and because he & his stepmother do not get along, and she always talked shit about him to his little sister. ace defects from the religion when he abdicates from being Keeper of the Circles (the aforementioned pope-esque position) & therefore, he ends up on the side of the conflict that is directly against his former religion. but his father, stepmother, and youngest sister remain in tbe religion, so they're fighting against each other at times. cue angst

he has an on-again, off-again relationship that's been going on since the mid-1600s but commitment? he and his boyfriend do NOT know her. (additionally both he and his bf are interested in a third guy... but navigating a relationship between 3 people? they can barely navigate between the 2 of them lmfao)

he's a manwhore. sleeps around a ton when he's not committed. and he has a philosophy a lot of people don't like about sleeping with taken/married people where his opinion's basically "well IM not the one breaking vows here"

this flippant approach to respecting other people's relationships would concern me but his on-again, off-again bf is not pressed

his best friend is tho, they argue about it a lot cause his bff was cheated on by his first wife (hard to drop someone over one big disagreement point when uve been close to them for centuries tho)

anyway thank u for asking about him i have to cut myself off somewhere or i will talk all day i have almost 10 yrs worth of time & effort poured into him.