#Addict Him To You

[s0up1ta]

"so grunkle ford how do you know bill?"

"... that's not important."

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[fluffyartbl0g]

Everytime I go into the Zosopp tag, I just see people SCREAMING CRYING SOBBING about the lack of posts IN the Zosopp tag. THE ZOSOPP ECONOMY IS IN SHAMBLES

[mccromy]

Shang Qinghua: "I could fix him" this "I could make him worse" that.

Shang Qinghua: well I made him, I crafted him to be an ASSHOLE with trust issues and it makes me so hard my brain shrivels up when I see him cause all the blood shoots straight up to my dick so fast it HURTS. do NOT try to change him he's perfect <3

Shang Qinghua: I want to kill him so bad sometimes ngl lol what a prick. Spoiled brat. I'm this 🤏🏻 close to unionizing. He might kill me for trying lol so I'm not gonna

[blue-jos10]

‘wow dr minyard how are you so calm and patient even with the insane ones?’

‘i’ve had practice.’

[galgali]

jekyll and hyde is not about an evil guy who independently inhabits a good guy's body it's about a guy who consciously and intentionally has an evilsona

[robintherobiner]

Forever crying over Jack Drake. That man loved his son and i HATE what the fandom made him out to be.

Jack Drake who used his last words to not only tell his son he loved him, not only to find someone to care for his son, not only to remind him that his mother loved him too, not only to admit the work he does is worth it, but also to tell him that it is not his fault.

Jack Drake who knew his son, his precious boy who gave up his childhood to help people, would feel guilt if he didnt save him.

Jack Drake who knew he was to die, and could only think of his sons safety.

[housesalad]

okay he’s kinda sweet actually

[sarkylittlemonster]

Percy Weasley at one am after drinking five cups of coffee

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

you guys ever notice how in his dialogue when he's in bertie's presence, jeeves uses quotations and references constantly, but in his THOUGHTS during "bertie changes his mind," he doesn't use any? this is obviously because he doesn't care if we the audience know he knows shakespeare, but he will languish and die if he doesn't get to dazzle bertie with his wit and knowledge every five seconds

[ghurab-alzilal]

*Jason is caught smoking*

• In childhood: *after taking the cigarette out of his mouth and throwing it away, he is lectured by Dick for more than an hour about the repercussions of smoking (and is threatened with telling Bruce if he is caught doing it again) *

• In adulthood: *after cutting the cigarette in half with the Saif (being it still in Jason's mouth), he is lectured by Damian for more than an hour about the repercussions of smoking (and is threatened with telling Talia if he is caught doing it again) *

[mrtequilasunset]

Highkey so sad to see Kim's character get butchered by people who see Harry as whichever addict wronged them in their life.

[psychokatrixxxy]

So my bf sent me an Instagram reel where Batman is holding up one of the Robins (I think Dick) and he says, "Spectacular, give me 14 of them."

My bf asked me if B was at 14 at this point (not just Robins, but just bats and birds in general, doesnt matter if they are or aren't his kids or kids in general, tho we didnt count Kate).

So, we started counting. Including characters like Carrie Kelley, and Terry and Matthew Mcginnis, the answer is yes. B is not only at 14, but he is past it....

I know we joke a lot about Mr. "I work alone" very much not working alone... but this is ridiculous.

Every time I think I know of them all, I learn about more!

[apocalyp-tech-a]

Look at this dude's intensity as he's about to save his family. Casual, capable, confident, badass Tech to the end. There's no way they're going to waste all of this handsome!

[yuwuta]

yuuta exhibits such previously abandoned, recently adopted dog behavior. incredibly anxious all the time, even though nobody’s out to get him or leave him behind. waits for you to return home or from school or from work excitedly, just to see you when you walk through the door. follows you around senselessly, hovering in your space just for the sake of companionship. initiates affection in prodding ways—starts off next to you, then a hand on your thigh, then deems it safe to lay all the way down, then slowly pushes his head into your lap. gets up whenever you need to get up, and resumes his position as soon as you’re ready. brings you gifts as a sign that he’s thinking of you, and maybe because he likes the affection it brings out in you, maybe because he likes the gentle affirming touches of a hand in his hair or a pinch to his cheek. rests his head on your stomach or his chin on your shoulder when he’s sleepy, stays there, immobile, and will not move unless absolutely necessary. sometimes he gets surprised when he hears you calling for him, there’s a moment of disbelief as he thinks “me? really? you need me?” but it’s very quickly overshadowed by this compulsive need to show up, to please, to do anything for you, which is why he always answers when you call. he doesn’t realize that he has puppygod eyes, especially when he’s excited or confused, but he does and it’s incredible endearing. very reluctant to share your space or attention after a while, considers that to be sacred and he won’t risk being let go or lost again, so as a safety precaution, he keeps himself right by you, waits for you always. 

[riddlerosehearts]

one of my favorite a3 moments ever that i wish all of my non-a3 followers knew about is the time when itaru, a character who at 23 years old was still dealing with deep-seated trust issues and a paralyzing fear of trying to connect with others due to having been bullied for most of his childhood, practically forced to hide his true self and become someone new just to get it to stop, and then betrayed by the one person he thought he could call a friend during his last year of high school, encounters that same former friend again later after he's become a successful stage actor at a theater company and is finally happy and considers his troupemates to be like his family. and in the end his former friend hasn't changed at all, still tries to use itaru for his own gain, and isn't even sorry for any of it so itaru just straight up calls him a dick.