#And I keep freaking out and having meltdowns and panic attacks

[cq-studios]

Wake up. Missing Link was never cancelled. This last month was all just a bad dream.

It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't-

[brucedefender4eva]

As much as I love when fanfics give a character who has been traumatized in their media (but their writers don’t ever show them affected by the horrors) having realistic reactions to what happened to them (anxiety attacks, PTSD, trust issues, etc)

Their family helps them through their problems and the issues that they’ve gained from it. Showing them that it’s okay to be vulnerable and they’ll always be there for them

I also equally love the opposite. Instead of a character being affected by the horrors, they’re just… completely fine

Everyone else around them is freaking out and expecting a meltdown of some kind, completely ready to support them in any way possible, but it never comes

It’s just another fucking day. No panic attacks, no flash backs, nada. Family thinks that they’re hiding it from them when in reality the person affected is confused on why everyone is hovering around them

The batfam is waiting for the other shoes to drop with Bruce constantly. You’d think that after this man became a short term paraplegic from Bane breaking his back that Bruce would be wary about facing the man again

Maybe even refuse to do so?

They get an alert on the Batcomputer and Bane is causing havoc in the city. He’s pumped up on Venom and destroying everything in his way.

They’re glancing at each other like “Oh shit. What the fuck do we do? Do we wanna put Bruce through all that again?”

And Bruce is just… suiting up. Doesn’t fucking phase him in the slightest. He’s fought Bane a million times before and he’ll do it a million times again. He just really wants to punch someone with all his might, knowing they won’t die from it

His kids are exchanging nervous glances as Bruce maps out a plan and as they’re leaving Alfred hands them small med kits to keep with them

“Master Bruce, please be careful.” Alfred says through his coms as he’s jumping from building to building, his voice unusually tinged with worry. Alfred only ever comes on coms and tells him to be careful when the villain that he’s facing is of considerable risk to himself or his children

Bruce is fucking confused. Why would he need to be more careful than he already is? He’s Batman

“It’s just Bane, agent A.”

“B… he broke your back…” Oracle chimes in quietly

“Right, he did do that didn’t he? I forgot that happened.”

“?” The boys look at each other in confusion. Did their Dad really just say that

“You forgot?” Cass asked, her voice incredulous

“Not that big of a deal.” Bruce shrugged, glancing over in confusion as all of his kids stopped, instead turning to face him

“Dad… are you serious?” Tim asked, his eyebrows shooting to his hairline

“As I’ve stated, not a big deal.” Bruce doesn’t know why they seem to be making a huge deal out of this. It’s been years. It’s not like anyone brought it up

“Bruce, you don’t have to be strong in front of us.” Dick whispered softly, placing a hand on Bruce’s shoulder. Even with the mask Bruce could tell his eldest was looking at him with those deep soulful eyes he has whenever he’s trying to comfort someone.

“I’m not??” Bruce said, looking around to see his kids doubtful faces. “Seriously I’m not. It happened and I got over it.”

“You don’t just get over being paralyzed Bruce.” Barbra’s said soothingly, using the same voice she does when she tries to calm down terrified children.

“Seriously old man, we’ve all been through some shit. If you wanna sit this one out, we understand.” Jason said, in a rare moment of kindness toward Bruce.

Unfortunately, it was completely unneeded and just made Bruce even more annoyed.

“Oh I get it. This is a rouse. You all want to get out from patrol tonight.” Bruce said, figuring out what all the concern was about (he didn’t figure out shit). “If it wasn’t a school night I would’ve just brought Robin.” Bruce mumbled under his breath.

As Bruce grappled away to another building, still intent on hunting down Bane and taking him back to Arkham, all his kids could do was stare after him in disbelief.

“He seriously doesn’t care…” Steph chuckled softly, shaking her head in astonishment. “Bruce is so fucking weird.”

[theambitiouswoman]

Why you lack emotional control & act erratic ( and how to fix it)

You’re not crazy. But if you’ve ever had a moment where you reacted WAY bigger than necessary, spiraled into a meltdown, or regretted something you said five minutes later…emotional control might not be your strong suit.

First off, your brain is not out to sabotage you, I promise. Your emotional outbursts usually come from one (or all) of these

You could have unprocessed emotions that are stacking up. If you keep pushing your feelings down like a stuffed closet, they WILL burst out at the worst time.

You could have high cortisol, which means more anxiety, more overreactions and more "why did i just doo that?!" moments.

If you grew up in chaos your brain defaults to fight or flight mode when you are stressed.

If you don't check in with yourself, your emotions will check in for you. Not in a good way. Please, you guys, these are not normal reactions and I am not saying they are your fault because they are not. But we have to love ourselves enough to uncover the root issue so that we do not continue to do things that hurt us or others.

Emotional control is a skill and you CAN train yourself to be calm, collected, and (mostly) unbothered.

Before you respond to anything emotional, take a deep breath (or five). Give your brain time to shift out of panic mode. Tell yourself how you feel instead of acting out. This will stop you from spiraling. Then you can ask yourself if there is a better way to handle the situation. Maybe you are overreacting. Maybe you misconstrued the situation. There is a reason communication is key. Even more, there is a reason why delivery in communication is more important. If you want to 48 laws of power it, think of it as a strategy and not emotion.

The more you practice calming yourself, the more your brain learns that emotional freak outs aren’t necessary. Your future self will thank you. Your power in every situation lies in emotional control. Like I said earlier this week, emotional control is not about hiding your emotions, it is about managing them.

A lot of people assume they’re in control when they’re actually running on autopilot, reacting instead of responding.

If every small comment or action feels like an attack, your emotions are running the show

If you find yourself exploding over something minor, it’s a sign your nervous system is dysregulated

If your emotions linger for hours (or even days), your body is stuck in stress mode

If you keep reliving arguments, failures, or embarrassing moments, your brain is reinforcing stress patterns

If your mood depends on how others treat you, emotional balance is lacking

You’re not doomed to be at the mercy of your emotions forever. The key is training your brain to respond, not react. The more you practice, the more emotionally balanced (and way less stressed) you’ll feel. You have the power to step back, breathe and handle things in a way that wont blow up in your face or make you regret it tomorrow (or 5 minutes later)

[agentarc]

fox headcanons for the fic i might actually try to write

this is copy-pasted from notes app so the formatting is gonna be weird

fox autism and mental health HCs

- difficulty understanding his own emotions. he can’t describe what he’s feeling. if asked to elaborate, he might describe things ineloquently, or using metaphors

- sometimes struggles to understand other people’s emotions. he’s not very in tune with his own, and he finds it hard to relate to others in general. it’s easier with clones, but for natborns it’s a lost cause.

- afraid of Feeling His Feelings. he’s always staving off a mental breakdown, and thus can’t afford to Feel and have the dam break, because if he has a breakdown he Will Die. (he doesn’t know anything about panic attacks or meltdowns — he just thinks he’s defective. since he can’t afford to be anything less than perfect, he has taken every measure possible to keep the breakdowns behind the dam.)

- his facial expressions don’t always match the emotion he’s feeling

- doesn’t know how to show love and affection in a “normal” way. his way of loving is to keep everyone safe and healthy, even at the expense of himself, and even at the expense of others outside of his family.

- touch-adverse and touch-starved at the same time. (he’s afraid of touching people in part because he worries he’ll corrupt them with his wrongness)

- pressure and dark, enclosed spaces are very comforting

- stimming habit. he thinks it’s unbecoming (and so did his trainers as a cadet) and thus has tried to train it out of himself, but he still falls back on certain low-key stimming habits when he’s focused or not paying attention to himself.

- control freak

- meticulously tidy, though his own hygiene is lacking

- forgets / doesn’t know how to take care of himself

- food-adverse. can only tolerate one variety of ration bars and they’re not always available. he survives off forced bites and caf. (potential to explore other types of food? ration bars are safe and familiar, but we might explore other safe foods after the war is over…)

- dissociation — sometimes he doesn’t feel real and he doesn’t know how to articulate that. it feels wrong in every way, but it keeps the paralyzing breakdowns at bay so he has started using it as a coping mechanism. he feels like he’s on autopilot, like he’s making these decisions from a faraway place and isn’t quite tethered to his body. if he has to appear normal while actively panicking, he’s probably dissociated to some extent, not allowing himself to come to terms with the reality of whatever’s going on, allowing autopilot to take over. (he doesn’t like to think about it, and might spiral if forced to address it)

- strange relationship to pain. it makes sense to him, and he finds it grounding. it can tether him when he’s dissociating. not only is it the body’s natural way of saying it’s injured, but it can also be a befitting consequence or punishment, which he genuinely thinks he deserves. (he knows this applies to him and him only — he’s always been different from other clones) (maybe he has a deep scar somewhere accessible with his armor on, and pressing on it causes pain or numbness. wrist? palm? maybe one if his habits is repeatedly clenching his fist in a way that presses on it)

- self-mutilation, like knuckle biting, skin picking, digging his fingernails into his arm, exacerbating existing injuries

- he feels like a droid, or like he wishes he was a droid. he knows he’s not, but sometimes thinks it would be easier to maintain his body. during dissociation or breakdowns, he might use pain or blood to remind him that he’s still human

- compulsion to *fix*. he is always there for his brothers, not only because it’s his duty as commander and as ori’vod, but because his brothers are the most important thing in the world to him. without his purpose as his brothers’ keeper, he has zero self-worth. when things start getting harder, he will have more trouble coming up with the solution and it will seriously upset him. he will also get confused and frustrated when his vode don’t come to him with their issues — he’ll believe it’s because he’s a failure of an ori’vod. later, after the collapse, he will be so burnt out that anyone having any expectation of him at all will be triggering. (or maybe the opposite is true — not having orders or a direction leaves him floundering and he will spiral and spiral. could be that both are true, that he needs orders or a job or something, but anything outside the scope of his ability or mental capacity will cause a stress breakdown)

- trust issues. he can’t be vulnerable with pretty much anyone at all — at least he won’t if he can help it — and will never be fully relaxed in the company of people he doesn’t explicitly know and trust.

- paranoid. every single thing out of place is a threat.

- hates crowds

- hates people looking at him without his armor on. he always feels exposed and vulnerable, and he’s ashamed of all the scars he has. since his job is supposed to be “the easiest of the entire GAR,” he thinks there’s no excuse to be so scarred, and the only reason he would be is because he can’t defend himself adequately. plus, if he’s asked about his scars, it’s not really easy to explain that they’re from the red guard beating the shit out of him for fun

- hates the sonics because of the sound, and also because of the freshers’ communal nature. he will only shower at odd hours, and usually has one of the other commanders guard the door.

personality HCs

- as a cadet, and at the beginning of the war, fox was a cunning trickster and full of chaos. he becomes quieter and more worn down as the war continues.

- he loves mischief and fun, but at this point in his life has forgotten how to have fun. when he was a cadet, his slyness and cunning made him the perfect prankster. if he ever went too far and hurt or offended someone, cody would step in and tell fox to apologize, which fox does. he’s never meant to hurt anyone with his tricks.

- he doesn’t necessarily tell jokes, but his dry wit and sarcasm and his darker sense of humor makes him pretty funny sometimes

- although he would never admit it, he absolutely loves being surrounded by his brothers while they’re having a good time. he rarely joins in on the fun, bogged down by stress and illness, but wishes he could. regardless, he loves to soak up the good vibes, and his brothers laughing and happy is one of the only things that makes his heart soar.

- chronically tired

- chronically freezing cold

- chronically stressed tf out. he’s been under so much stress for so long that he’s been permanently shaped by it.

- outwardly, he’s all cold durasteel walls and ruthless determination. he’s meticulously neat, always demonstrating perfect form, his armor polished to a shine. an unstoppable force who will overcome any immovable object. he’s capable of making the hard choices and doing whatever it takes. anyone who doesn’t know him well enough will assume that he’s an uptight, hard-ass, self-righteous jerk who cares only about orders and duty, even at the expense of brothers. because of this, he’s not a popular or well-liked clone. (this bothers him a lot more than he lets on.)

- in reality, the safety and wellbeing of ALL brothers is his highest priority. he’s most loyal to those in his circle, and because of the position he’s in, it can appear as though he doesn’t care about anyone else.

- fox loves and cares so deeply that it IS the core of who he is. everything he does is for his family, even if his actions seem at odds with that.

- he trusts seldomly, but deeply. he is not relaxed with anyone he doesn’t trust, and sometimes STILL isn’t trusting enough to relax.

- he’s affectionate in his own way, which is to say non-traditionally. his way of taking care of people is to make sure everyone’s taken care of, taking care of themselves, and following rules. with certain vode, he may offer touch as comfort.

- has a very impressive sabacc face, although he’s pretty much always panicking over something. if he’s actively panicking but has to appear normal, he will most likely be dissociated to some extent.

- when in commander mode, he looks calm and collected, with an appropriate amount of urgency. he’s quick-thinking, cunning and clever, sharp-tongued and decisive, and in complete control. if he’s having a particularly rough time, anyone who doesn’t know him well enough wouldn’t be able to tell. closer vode can pick up on his subtle tells.

- a low-key stressed but relaxing fox is very subdued. small grins, wisecracks and one-liners, snickering along, but on the quiet side.

- a truly happy fox throws his head back when he laughs and smiles with all his teeth. his eyes are bright and sharp and full of mischief. he’s much more willing to initiate physical contact, and even grab a brother to wrestle playfully.

- when he’s having a rough one, he’s barbed and unreachable. he says nasty things and never means them, wanting to push others away.

- he’s always busy. he always has an insurmountable workload. when too overwhelmed, he will shut down, become paralyzed and be unable to complete anything at all, triggering a meltdown.

- a truly relaxed fox is boneless. for once in his life, he’s not on the move.

- under different circumstances, a happy fox would be nearly as busy as he is at this point, but on his own terms instead. he’d be doing stuff with his hands, filling his time with jobs and projects.

- allergic to downtime. he always has to be busy. if something needs to be done, he will be unable to relax until it’s done. if there’s nothing to do, he will either create more work for himself or start spiraling.

[pokemonshelterstories]

Howdy! I am the forster of the disabled charizard and bisharp, I have gone to my vet to see some of the issues with this mating behavior.

Also, I feel like i haven't explain well what's up with with them both very well, the bisharp (marvin) is born without any metal crest at all, no blades or anything, he's very vulnerable compared to other pawniards and bisharps, I have attempted to socialize him with his kind and almost got him killed bc the others were so freaked out by his appearance (he was in a fortified socialization cage too) , so I keep him away from other bisharps and he freaks out whenever they're around, my shelter told me all his mates were super aggressive towards him , he feels more comfortable with other pokémon than his own kind, so he isn't alone all the time, we have a meganium that treats him as if he's her child and grooms him regularly.

Our charizard (ember) is wingless, can't fly and tbe breeder declawed him, he is very gentle and scared of other firetypes and has nightmares frequently, he is much, much weaker than the average charizard should be, he is very terrified of his own kind that he bashed his head against the wall when we got a another charizard in temporary for a situation concerning the owner's health, I had to let someone else foster that charizard, I suspect his breeder didn't care about charizard social structures and given how small ember is, he got bullied severely, socializing him is hard.

I didn't actually plan on these two meeting eachother but ember left his enclosure in a daze and ended up in the Marvin's enclosure, i was at a vet appointment for my albino eevee, I wasn't aware of this till i came back with marvin putting his blankets over him, marvin never lets anyone takes his blankets.

Currently i'm letting them interact in very controled settings, even if ember can't breath fire, his meltdowns can trigger Marvin's panic attacks, my vet says as long as they're separated during mating seasons and interact via controlled spaces then they should be okay, given their individual disabilities, I might end up adopting them soon since not alot of folks can handle the level of trauma they both have, I'm keeping a close eye on them both.

unfortunately my answer to this is going to be very short and probably not what you want to hear: i am extremely concerned about the quality of life of both of these pokemon. they cannot engage in natural behaviors inherent to the experience for their species. the bisharp cannot train himself or lead a group of pawniard. the charizard cannot fly or battle and panics to the point of self harm when presented with a pokemon that might attempt to battle him. these pokemon almost certainly cannot be experiencing a good quality of life, whether separated or together.

i cannot see a world in which either of these pokemon should be allowed to suffer through existing like that if you're giving an accurate representation of their situation. were these pokemon in my care, i would be advocating for their humane euthanasia. i cannot give advice to their care outside of that.

[towine]

[flowerfang] get us right

i'm late!!! for flowerfang week happening over on twitter! but i had this little idea for the day 2 sfw prompt "first kiss." just something silly i banged out really quickly. do not think about it 2 hard

-

-

“Miles, stop freaking out,” Miguel says.

“I’m not freaking out, you’re freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? Ain’t no reason to be freaking out, right, I just got poisoned by an alien wizard and I’m gonna die because you knocked the alien wizard out before he could give us a cure after he sprayed purple powder in my face and now my skin is turning purple oh my god Miguel I’m turning purple what do we do—”

“LYLA,” Miguel says, turning away from Miles’s meltdown. “Tell me you got something from the biometric scans.”

“Looks like a strain of pollen from a plant native to Earth-31,” LYLA says. “The effects of consumption include asphyxiation within five minutes.”

“What?” Miles wails. “Oh no no no no—”

“Can we craft an antidote?” Miguel demands.

“Already sent the lab order. But there’s no time, boss—the kid’s freaking out and it’s making the toxin spread faster. At this rate, he’ll asphyxiate before you can get him to HQ.”

Miguel whips around to look at Miles. Miles has his hands buried in his hair, continuing to babble about dying from space pollen and how he’ll fail his calculus class because he’ll be too dead to take the test on Thursday.

“Miles,” Miguel says, grabbing Miles by the shoulders. “You need to calm down.”

“Calm down? How am I supposed to calm down?” Miles fights against Miguel’s hold. His eyes dart around in a panic, his breathing hard and fast.

“You’re hyperventilating. You need to stop.”

“I can’t—” Miles squeezes his eyes shut. “I can’t stop.”

“Yes you can. You have to.”

“I know I have to, that doesn’t mean I can suddenly do it!” Miles’s inhales have turned thinner, shakier. Not good.

“The antidote is synthesizing back at HQ, boss,” LYLA says, “but it doesn’t mean anything if you can’t get him there on time.”

Miles is still breathing too fast, mouth parted, bottom lip trembling.

“Shit,” Miguel curses.

He does the only thing he can think of.

He yanks Miles forward into a kiss.

There’s no grace to it, no pleasure. It’s a life or death kind of kiss, like CPR. This is what Miguel tells himself when he feels Miles’s breathing stutter, feels him tremble beneath his hands. Their mouths are pressed together harshly, awkwardly, but it forces Miles to breathe through his nose and slow the pace of his inhales.

And then, all at once, Miles relaxes. He turns to outright putty in Miguel’s hands, and that— Miguel really shouldn’t think about what that means.

Miles’s mouth moves against his, soft and tentative. It’s instinctive for Miguel to follow him and deepen the kiss. It’s easy. Miles is so pliant, so ready to receive.

Miguel snaps back to reality.

He pulls away.

Miles leans in after him, dazedly following his mouth. Then he stops, realizing what just happened.

Neither of them say anything.

LYLA clears her non-existent throat.

“Antidote’s ready at the lab,” she says, with a smug tone Miguel does not appreciate.

“Great,” Miguel says, voice rough. “And the toxin?”

“Has slowed its spread now that Miles is no longer going into a panic attack. Nice work, Miguel.”

“Don’t mention it,” Miguel mutters, jabbing the coordinates for Nueva York into his watch. “And I really mean that.”

The trip back to HQ is made in dead silence. The portal spits them out in the lab, where Miguel gets a syringe of the prepared antidote and injects Miles in the shoulder, through the suit. Miles doesn’t say a word the whole time. He keeps avoiding Miguel’s eyes.

But the alarming purple color that was crawling over his skin fades away, leaving Miles’s normal skin tone. So that’s… good.

“Looks like you’re clear,” Miguel says. He tosses the syringe into a biohazard bin. “How do you feel? Still freaking out?”

Miles scoffs. “No,” he mumbles. He rolls his shoulders, touches a hand to his throat. “I feel okay, I think.”

“You think?”

“I’m fine,” Miles amends annoyedly, and now he’s starting to sound a little more like himself. “Thanks. And thanks for…” He waves a hand in a vague motion, and his expression turns flustered.

Miguel sighs and drags a hand through his hair. “Look—we don’t have to talk about it. I did it to make you stop hyperventilating, it was a spur of the moment thing. The point is, you didn’t die, and now you’re cured.”

“Right,” Miles says slowly. His lip is bitten between his teeth. He still hasn’t walked away.

Miguel’s next words come out awkwardly, stilted and ill-fitting in his mouth. “I’m… sorry if I made you… uncomfortable. It wasn’t my intention.”

“No, that’s not—!” Miles finally looks up and meets his gaze. His cheeks are dark with a blush. “You didn’t. Not at all. I just, uh.”

A pause. And then Miguel gets it.

“That was your first time kissing someone,” he says numbly.

Miles winces and looks away, his blush worsening.

“Fuck,” Miguel mutters, covering his face with one hand. “I’m sorry, Miles. That’s—”

“Hey, no, don’t do that.”

A hand comes to touch Miguel’s wrist and ease it away from his face.

Miles’s brow is furrowed, his lips pursed in an expression Miguel knows. It’s the one Miles gets when he’s going to argue with Miguel because he knows in his heart what’s right. It’s the one he gets when he’s told something is impossible only for him to do it anyway. It’s the one he gets when he’s about to take a leap of faith—not the absence of fear, but acting in spite of it.

“I don’t want you to be sorry,” Miles says. He’s still blushing. He’s a vision.

Miguel says, “Then what do you want?”

Miles swallows. “Maybe we could… do it again? Without the panic attack this time. Second time’s the charm, or whatever.”

Miguel huffs. But he’s reaching out to curl a hand over the nape of Miles’s neck. “That’s not how the saying goes.”

“It is in my universe.”

Miguel rolls his eyes. Miles is grinning.

“If you’re done,” Miguel says, “I’m going to kiss you now.”

He leans in. Miles moves to meet him.

He’s right, it turns out—second time’s the charm. Or whatever.

[candybowbeansies]

Rule the World

warnings/notes: reader is preggers, Angst to Fluff, ofc ya'll are married but due to who he is ya'll never had a ceremony but still filled the papers in, reader has a panic attack then a mental meltdown, and this starts around the raid, so spoilers ahoy! After much debate, I decided to go w Armless!Overhaul BECAUSE HE NEEDS COMFORT FROM LOSING HIS ARMS LIKE THAT DAMNIT 😭 Kai is a prison inmate, reader has to jump through hoops to gain approval for a conjugal visit in Tartarus(it's freaking Tartarus so I'm taking creative liberty, there's nothing realistic about the process in here you've been warned), but ya'll are stubborn so you keep at it until ya'll finally do 🥺 its ftb like the other fics, and conjugal doesn't necessarily mean purely sexual! let ya'll's imagination go wild 🥺👉👈

~Masterlist~

be his~ be his~

Snacks plated and radio jamming softly in the background, you pad over to your living room, talking to your friend over the phone. “Oooh, boy, are you seeing the news? There’s a story about some big raid on a villain's compound coming on.” they ask as you plop down on your couch, snacks set on the coffee table before you. “Really, now?” you hum taking the remote to turn on the tv, pushing in numbers for the news channel. “Let’s see what’s going on, then.” you speak to your friend. When you look back to the screen after settling in, you see a very familiar place in an aerial view.

‘We're here live at Hassaikai Compound, in the aftermath of a Police raid, search, and rescue. The Police had cooperated with the Hero Sir Nighteye's agency and other heroes brought into the job through the Hero Commission.’ 

There was a massive hole out front. Your hold on the phone grows lax, you’re heart dropping to your stomach. You knew he had his secrets, that was expected of a yakuza. Even so, you loved him. A year ago, you and him agreed that you were both too busy to have a ceremony, but still filled in to become officially married.

‘The villain Chisaki, Kai, known as Overhaul, and his dangerous goons have been subdued successfully, but at what price?’

You stare on in disbelief, on the edge of your seat.

‘Sir Nighteye has been gravely injured--impaled, I'm hearing by sources-and some students from the infamous 1-A have sustained injuries as well! They've packed these villains up and sent them off for protocol. Hopefully the likes of them end up in Tartarus! We'll be right back after--what?! I'm hearing the security escort on XX Ramp were attacked! We'll have helicopters on scene after the break!’

'I was wondering have you ever been, have you ever been anything other than, other than true, have you? Never been good but I've never been better'

Tears sting at the corners of your eyes as his and your song begins to play. You were looking forward to telling him the news the next time you would meet with him.

They fall when you see the attack happen on the vehicle he was put in from the news helicopter's view, high above.

You see the fire, you see the threatening figures looming over him.

'I was wondering have you ever been anything anything other than you, is that true? We're not gonna be here forever'

A pitiful sound escapes the back of your throat as you lift your hands, digging your fingers into your scalp, as your whole world comes all but crashing down. You open your mouth, a silent wail escaping you.

You were pregnant.

'I don't want to stay here on my own I don't want to let that body go'

Your sobs fill the room as you curl up against the couch, effectively muting the radio playing the other room. The phone and the person on the other side of the line are completely forgotten, the tv droning on and on as you break down.

The following months, you found yourself fighting for your visitation rights.

Even Tartarus allowed visitations, but there was a host of meticulous procedures that had to be done. Things had to be signed, imaging had to be done.

During your stay in the provided accommodation, you'd be treated like an inmate. Everything that happened in Tartarus, stays in Tartarus.

If that's what had to be done to see the man you loved, you were more than willing.

When the suits approved you for a conjugal visit, you were somewhere along in your second trimester. You were elated at the news.

So happy, that the majority of your processing went by in a blur. You were escorted by armed officers, shackles around your wrists and ankles, wearing a special pair of goggles that blocked out your vision.

Your toes curled as you're wheeled through what you assumed were checkpoints; loudspeakers beeping and heavy metallic doors clattering open, one after the other, until you feel a stop.

You knew better than to say anything, impatiently counting down the seconds until you could finally be with him.

Him; your hubby.

Once more, you hear metal clatter off to your side instead of in front of you.

Your man. Just a little bit longer...

You feel yourself being swiveled to the side, as they wheel you inside and stop. They prattle off about everything you already know, and you nod along.

The father of the life inside you. How would he react?

Your heart thuds against your ribcage anxiously as your shackles and goggles are removed and they exit the room. You stare at the armored door in front of you as you hear the one behind you close.

After a few moments, you hear the whirring, which prompts you to stand up and pad as close to the door as you dared. Slowly, it creaked open-and the figure beyond the threshold washes away the last of your patience. "Kai!" you gasp as you run straight towards him, inadvertently plowing into him, overwhelmed by the reunion to tears. He grunts at the contact, giving a soft huff as you keep calling his name, clinging to him.

His name; you'd call out to him, until your last breath.

His armless embrace is awkward at best, yet it does wonders to soothe you. "Kai." you call out once more, soaking up his warmth like a sponge as he deeply inhales your familiar scent.

"Angel." you hear his wavering voice and you look up to him, his sharp amber eyes wet, a small smile playing his lips. You caress his cheeks, thumbing away the tears on his lashes as they flutter closed.

"How's baby, my love?" he asks, and you giggle. Nothing gets past him, you swore. You feel them shift inside you, a soft gasp escaping you. But you can't help but smile wider. "Happy to finally hear Daddy." you say, relishing in his chuckle. You kiss his unkempt stubble, and he places a kiss on your temple.

'I love you's are gently exchanged, along with soft words that bring pleasantly fuzzy warmth and content; this was just the beginning.

You had every intention of enjoying every moment you could with him.

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

firestorm idea’s

feversick best idea ever (I feel anemic)

okay you know how firestorm usually is only Ronnie and stein?

what if mikhial (Russian guy from the firestorm 80s cannon) was also there?

And what if mikhial was also a linguist. I think it’d be interesting

also they are all kinda fused together they can change their form but that’s about it, when they split up they can’t be very far from each other or else they start dying.

also I’m aging up Ronnie to be 20, bc like then it’s not weird.

basically in this new cannon I’m proposing mikhial got kidnapped by anti-nuclear terrorists to translate, Ronnie was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and stein was manning the nuclear plant.

They get fused together as firestorm and promptly freak the fuck out because neither one of them is them anymore just this one guy and they are so confused.

Ronnie figures out transmutation by accident bc he can just.. see molecules now, stein is like “WHAT WAIT WAIT CHANGE THOSE AROUND” makes the fire into water, everyone is okay!

yay, but now these 3 guys are one guy and are so confused.

they fly up in the sky but yk they freak out.

firestorm mostly looks like Ronnie bc he’s the strongest of them all being Ex-football star, that’s why he was at the nuclear power plant he kinda just was going around since he was going to apply for a management position.

anyway they are in the sky super confused since they can all kinda see their hands and body but no one is exactly controlling it, it’s kinda a group effort and all that.

Ronnie is the first to speak out loud, and he just starts vigorously swearing. He basically just died and now he’s this fire guy???

mikhial also joins in and cries and swears as well and stein just starts sobbing.

firestorm is kinda just having a full on meltdown and mental breakdown, everyone inside is going through the 5 stages of grief since they LITERALLY DIED

and eventually they calm down enough to reassure themselves they aren’t dead and are alive and all that.

then they start screaming over being completely naked and having fire hair and also a weird ass core thing in the middle of themselves.

they get over that and just keep slightly sobbing.

stein is like “guys I know how to make clothes for us!” They make clothes that are radiation proof.

Ronnie brings up that his dad probably thinks he’s dead and they all panic

and Ronnie takes over firestorm for a bit, and heads home. He also thinks this is a bad idea and all that and kinda wishes they were separate. Then all of a sudden in a blink of red and orange light all three are separated again.

they instantly became nauseous and feel like shit but they are ALIVE AND SEPARATE PEOPLE YA-HOO!

Ronnie’s dad opens the door to 2 forty something’s and his son, he hugs his son and questions the 2 completely random strangers.

Ronnie steps in and says “these are the guys who saved my life and also offered me a job” wink wink nudge nudge.

they collaborate the story and Ronnie’s dad invites them in, they have a wonderful time and stein and mikhial go to leave but suddenly feel like their entire beings are being torn asunder at the seems and stop their way out and ask Ronnie to come with. Ronnie feels the same feelings and literally feels like he would DIE if they left without him follows him.

Ronnie’s dad reluctantly lets them go, since Ronnie lives alone and whatever these guys seem like good people and fast friends.

Ronnie, stein, and mikhial look at each other, and start talking after they are out of earshot.

“What was that. WHAT WAS THAT” “RONALD I DONT KNOW”

and mikhial is just having a panic attack, they all start hugging each other bc it feels nice and they accidentally form firestorm again.

they feel INSTANTLY BETTER, well rested and happy.

and just split apart again, they test what happens when they go apart and they start feeling incredibly weak and sickly again.

they do a few more tests and realize “oh fuck we can’t actually stay apart or we start dying.” They all start trying to think how the fuck are they supposed to work or do anything like this.

“So I think we should get a joint account”

“RONNIE!”

“No no, I think Ronald is right I think we should probably start living in the same house and going to the same workplace”

“I HAVE THINGS TO DO!”

“We all do but I don’t think we can live like we used to anymore, you know how it feels when we go apart!”

“Why are we holding hands, it makes me look like your son lol”

“Oh I didn’t even notice, your right why are we”

they try to not hold hands but it just feels better when they do

“Well okay now we look like weirdo’s”

“Mikhial! Don’t say that”

anyway they all end up crashing at Ronnie’s house since it was closest and also they had ZERO energy to deal with catching the subway to stein’s.

Ronnie’s place is very humble, it has a small kitchen, a couch, a tv, and one bedroom with a king sized bed.

they all look at each other and are like “no we are NOT sleeping in the same bed I will cry.”

Ronnie takes the bed, mikhial takes the couch and stein takes the floor in Ronnie’s bedroom.

mikhial actually hates being that far away and starts to feel sick again and just throws his hands in the air and sleeps on the floor in Ronnie’s room aswell.

the next morning - 2pm

they all wake up at the exact same time which was weird?

Ronnie checks the little digital clock he has on the bedside table and says to them all “hey so it’s 2:34pm do you guys have like work?”

mikhial looks at Ronnie and starts ranting in Russian and some other language Ronnie and stein can’t make out.

he grabs them all and they rush out the door still in their dirty clothes from yesterday as well as their shoes since yesterday was such a fucking disaster!

he fills them in that he had a important client coming in today, but was rudely interrupted yesterday when the terrorists kidnapped him.

Ronnie asks what in the world he does for work and he says “oh I’m actually a architect, but my firm would fire me if they caught me what’s it you kids say ‘slacking’ anyway we have to be there by 3pm or I’m getting fired”

stein asks “but aren’t you a linguist?” Mikhial laughs and says “yes yes, but I work at the firm because being a linguist does not pay me well, and I am out of linguistic work” he chuckles.

they all ask Ronnie if he has a car, he says yes but it’s really small a three seater. They all sigh in relief.

Ronnie grabs the keys and while holding stein’s hand rushes to the car.

he turns the keys and they are on their way, mikhial puts the directions in the gps and they all follow them.

mikhail tries to call his boss, but his phone is super broken.

Stein gives him his, and calls ahead.

it doesn’t go through and they all just hope they get there in time.

thankfully they are only 2 minutes late, mikhail rushes them all in.

the security guard is very concerned and confused, mikhail just says these are his friends and it’s okay they will play nice!

the firm is a very pretty building, there’s a glass staircase in the middle of the room with a elevator in the middle of it.

the whole place was made of glazed glass.

mikhail appears in his own office where his client is sitting, mikhial mumbles out a bunch of apologies and starts showing the client the new drafts.

”who.. are these people” the client says

stein and Ronnie are holding hands while mikhail is looking at the client “friends” he says.

the client is very confused but takes it, they talk for a couple hours.

Ronnie shows stein some memes, they catch up on the news, and play Tetris while they wait.

Eventually the meeting is done, and they all look at each other and sigh. “So, how are we going to make this work?” Mikhail says.

stein is like “oh yeah so everyone thinks I’m dead and you actually, they are also going on about this guy with fire hair?”

Ronnie facepalms “prof, we are the fire hair guy” “what” “yeah”

anyway stein ends up selling his apartment, and making a joint account with Ronnie and mikhail since he’s technically dead. And he updates his Will so they can kinda fudge it and all that.

they all decide that Ronnie’s place is probably not going to cut it, and mikhail has a place and seeing as he’s the only one with a job they all kinda agree on that.

Everyone is SO confused by Ronnie and stein, like is Ronnie stein’s kid with abandonment issues or something? Why are stein and mikhail always holding hands and are inseparable?

Like they moved in together it’s weird, stein makes the claims he needs to revive his identity at some stage. And tries to do remote work 👨���💻 fails a couple times and then realizes he can just be a nuclear physicist at home Facepalm and doesn’t need to do weird odd remote jobs.

Ronnie has been learning about nuclear physics because he cannot go anywhere without the other guys.

and starts online school, they also form firestorm in between everything. Accidentally beat up green lantern, set a couple places on fire by accident, and get inducted to the justice league somehow.

and manage to have a semi normal life, until one day on a justice league mission.

they get split apart and promptly freak the fuck out, stein gets kidnapped and they all instantly start dying.

Batman, and Superman literally gape at the scene and cannot believe their eyes.

Ronnie and mikhail try to fork firestorm but they make a weird half firestorm and start going to grab stein.

Still in shock Superman goes after the villain who has stein.

stein almost dies they grab him and firestorm is complete again and they sigh in shear relief.

the justice league is super confused by the development but the boys finally just let down their guard to the rest of the league.

they kinda can’t believe that firestorm is actually three guys.

they ask for a salary bc they cannot afford to miss their work they live literally paycheck to paycheck.

they are like “nah” they insist on a salary. They get it the second time.

stein and mikhail learn about Ronnie’s dad being beyond abusive and horrible and kinda step in as Ronnie’s dad’s bc they already live together why the fuck not?

anyway a lot of crazy shit keeps happening, duplex tries to kill them way too many times. They become best buddies with plastic man booster gold and blue beetle (jamie)

Ronnie gets a job as a journalist, stein is able to get back to his work, and Mikhail gets to work as a linguist with the justice league.

They also die a few times, and accidentally fuse with a few other people, go on a legion arc, almost die again and the cycle continues

prev | current | next

[beanieman]

I decided to put YTTD characters to some songs that I think the lyrics match earlier. Now I’m ‘forcing’ this duty onto you since I want to see whether our opinions match on some of them.

•Abnormality Dancing Girl

•Meltdown

•ECHO

•Appetite Of A People Pleaser

•Kakakuri Pierrot

Now some of my own-

•BETTER OFF WORSE

•Non-Breath Oblige

•Bug

•HIBANA

•Fixer

•Orthodoxia (ignoring the meaning of the actual song here)

•Bocca Della Verita

Anyways. Have fun.

Oh a bit of a challenge! I'll gladly take it since I'm always happy to indulge in YTTD related stuff!

Abnormality Dancing Girl - This is such a Shin song. It's about changing who you are and feeling as if you're going crazy while doing so! I think the lyrics that most back up my choice to pair this song with him is: "I can't go on like this. Constantly being manipulated by useless measures of worth. I've already come to hate this life. So, I think I'll restart my life.

The Rest Undercut

Meltdown - I'm going with Sara for this one! I interpret this song to be about haunting grief, which is something Sara has felt since the death of Joe. She feels guilty like she caused it, which how the lyrics "In my dream I strangled you. In the languid afternoon light. I watched your throat, thin and twitching. I watched your throat, thin and twitching." could come into play.

ECHO - This is so Maple core. The lyrics "What the hell's going on?! Can someone tell me please? Why I'm switching faster than the channels on TV? I'm black, then I'm white. No! Something isn't right! My enemy's invisible, I don't know how to fight!" match so well to when she's freaking out in the pink room.

Appetite Of A People Pleaser - Maybe Ranmaru for this one? The song could be about his need to make Sara happy despite how self destructive it is to himself. The lyrics I think most back up my choice are: "Maybe if I try a little harder, it will be okay. One day. Keep on eating more and more. Divide my life away into servings. And go beyond the point of no return."

Kakakuri Pierrot - This is another Sara mourning Joe song to me! Mostly because of the multiple references to being a clown, and I consider the Joesara theme of the game to be "Clown Song." The lyrics I think most back up my idea are: "It's so easy, and yet so difficult, for I can move on as soon as I accept reality. Unable to believe it, not wanting to believe it, I must be a clown inside your mind, aren't I?"

BETTER OFF WORSE - This gives me Alice during the band era vibes. The song is more overdramatic then what he probably felt about the situation, but I do think it has some basis! The lyrics that make me think this are: "Bleed out for audience approval Tragic, but perfectly on schedule. You think by now that we would have learned. Behind every piece of art is a human to be heard. Rejecting change to keep you there."

Non-Breath Oblige - I think this fits Shin the most since the lyrics all seem like a long winded rant he'd go on! For example: "I'll raise the white flag to the tyranny of the majority. Suppress my ill feelings and say cheese." Plus the chorus has Shin written all over it: "I want to live but I'm told to die."

Bug - This song feels like a panic attack so I'm assigning it to Shin. The lyrics that make me think this are: "Well! It's a desperate situation, I'm doomed to fall no matter what I do! Surely, surely sinking, no, no, NO!"

HIBANA - Another song that I think is Maple and Midori coated! Mostly about their messed up "romance" that Maple was forced to feel despite how poorly Midori treated her. The lyrics that make me think this is: "Come, come, mute the complaints. Hesitating over stupid things. You're kidding, huh? Ahaha!. Seems like unbreakable walls are being pressed for a kiss."

Fixer - Again, I think this is a Shin song! He really fits Vocaloid tunes! The lyrics that make me think this are: "With this shoddy excuse for a smile, I let time fly by, acting as if I know what I’m talking about. I never wanted to end up like this."

Orthodoxia - I know you said ignore the meaning but the song seems to fit ASU-NARO as a whole considering we hear that it may have some basis in religion in Kai's mini episode. The lyrics that I think back up my point are: "I take people’s lives away, devouring even their wishes. I’ve been living by trampling on the misfortune of others. The world was not such a wonderful place after all! If you flatter your idol, then your life will be saved. There is no such thing as correct teachings!"

Bocca Della Verita - I think this fits Maple and Midori since I could see it playing over the scene where she attacks him. The lyrics I think back up this idea the most are: "I-I-I quite hate you, w-w-w-w-what is wrong? You're still so frivolous, while I'm noble. I drag you across the dry floor. If you weren't around, I would be a goddess by now!"

[shuckinbeanz]

Rule the World

warnings/notes: reader is preggers, Angst to Fluff, ofc ya'll are married but due to who he is ya'll never had a ceremony but still filled the papers in, reader has a panic attack then a mental meltdown, and this starts around the raid, so spoilers ahoy! After much debate, I decided to go w Armless!Overhaul BECAUSE HE NEEDS COMFORT FROM LOSING HIS ARMS LIKE THAT DAMNIT 😭 Kai is a prison inmate, reader has to jump through hoops to gain approval for a conjugal visit in Tartarus(it's freaking Tartarus so I'm taking creative liberty, there's nothing realistic about the process in here you've been warned), but ya'll are stubborn so you keep at it until ya'll finally do 🥺 its ftb like the other fics, and conjugal doesn't necessarily mean purely sexual! let ya'll's imagination go wild 🥺👉👈

MINORS 👏 DNI! 👏 AGE 👏 IN 👏 BIO 👏 OR 👏 DNI! 👏 Head on over to @candybowbeansies please for my SFW pieces, or be blocked if you interact here! 😇

~Masterlist~

Tags: @dynamightsdaydream

be his~ be his~

Snacks plated and radio jamming softly in the background, you pad over to your living room, talking to your friend over the phone. “Oooh, boy, are you seeing the news? There’s a story about some big raid on a villain's compound coming on.” they ask as you plop down on your couch, snacks set on the coffee table before you. “Really, now?” you hum taking the remote to turn on the tv, pushing in numbers for the news channel. “Let’s see what’s going on, then.” you speak to your friend. When you look back to the screen after settling in, you see a very familiar place in an aerial view.

‘We're here live at Hassaikai Compound, in the aftermath of a Police raid, search, and rescue. The Police had cooperated with the Hero Sir Nighteye's agency and other heroes brought into the job through the Hero Commission.’ 

There was a massive hole out front. Your hold on the phone grows lax, you’re heart dropping to your stomach. You knew he had his secrets, that was expected of a yakuza. Even so, you loved him. A year ago, you and him agreed that you were both too busy to have a ceremony, but still filled in to become officially married.

‘The villain Chisaki, Kai, known as Overhaul, and his dangerous goons have been subdued successfully, but at what price?’

You stare on in disbelief, on the edge of your seat.

‘Sir Nighteye has been gravely injured--impaled, I'm hearing by sources-and some students from the infamous 1-A have sustained injuries as well! They've packed these villains up and sent them off for protocol. Hopefully the likes of them end up in Tartarus! We'll be right back after--what?! I'm hearing the security escort on XX Ramp were attacked! We'll have helicopters on scene after the break!’

'I was wondering have you ever been, have you ever been anything other than, other than true, have you? Never been good but I've never been better'

Tears sting at the corners of your eyes as his and your song begins to play. You were looking forward to telling him the news the next time you would meet with him.

They fall when you see the attack happen on the vehicle he was put in from the news helicopter's view, high above.

You see the fire, you see the threatening figures looming over him.

'I was wondering have you ever been anything anything other than you, is that true? We're not gonna be here forever'

A pitiful sound escapes the back of your throat as you lift your hands, digging your fingers into your scalp, as your whole world comes all but crashing down. You open your mouth, a silent wail escaping you.

You were pregnant.

'I don't want to stay here on my own I don't want to let that body go'

Your sobs fill the room as you curl up against the couch, effectively muting the radio playing the other room. The phone and the person on the other side of the line are completely forgotten, the tv droning on and on as you break down.

The following months, you found yourself fighting for your visitation rights.

Even Tartarus allowed visitations, but there was a host of meticulous procedures that had to be done. Things had to be signed, imaging had to be done.

During your stay in the provided accommodation, you'd be treated like an inmate. Everything that happened in Tartarus, stays in Tartarus.

If that's what had to be done to see the man you loved, you were more than willing.

When the suits approved you for a conjugal visit, you were somewhere along in your second trimester. You were elated at the news.

So happy, that the majority of your processing went by in a blur. You were escorted by armed officers, shackles around your wrists and ankles, wearing a special pair of goggles that blocked out your vision.

Your toes curled as you're wheeled through what you assumed were checkpoints; loudspeakers beeping and heavy metallic doors clattering open, one after the other, until you feel a stop.

You knew better than to say anything, impatiently counting down the seconds until you could finally be with him.

Him; your hubby.

Once more, you hear metal clatter off to your side instead of in front of you.

Your man. Just a little bit longer...

You feel yourself being swiveled to the side, as they wheel you inside and stop. They prattle off about everything you already know, and you nod along.

The father of the life inside you. How would he react?

Your heart thuds against your ribcage anxiously as your shackles and goggles are removed and they exit the room. You stare at the armored door in front of you as you hear the one behind you close.

After a few moments, you hear the whirring, which prompts you to stand up and pad as close to the door as you dared. Slowly, it creaked open-and the figure beyond the threshold washes away the last of your patience. "Kai!" you gasp as you run straight towards him, inadvertently plowing into him, overwhelmed by the reunion to tears. He grunts at the contact, giving a soft huff as you keep calling his name, clinging to him.

His name; you'd call out to him, until your last breath.

His armless embrace is awkward at best, yet it does wonders to soothe you. "Kai." you call out once more, soaking up his warmth like a sponge as he deeply inhales your familiar scent.

"Angel." you hear his wavering voice and you look up to him, his sharp amber eyes wet, a small smile playing his lips. You caress his cheeks, thumbing away the tears on his lashes as they flutter closed.

"How's baby, my love?" he asks, and you giggle. Nothing gets past him, you swore. You feel them shift inside you, a soft gasp escaping you. But you can't help but smile wider. "Happy to finally hear Daddy." you say, relishing in his chuckle. You kiss his unkempt stubble, and he places a kiss on your temple.

'I love you's are gently exchanged, along with soft words that bring pleasantly fuzzy warmth and content; this was just the beginning.

You had every intention of enjoying every moment you could with him.

[animal-lover-forever]

YAY!! TY!!! Today has been icky and it's only been getting worse so that helps :3

You're welcome! :)

I may not have panic attacks, but I do get overstimulated and end up having meltdowns.

And those are no fun either.

When in a meltdown, I would rather avoid touch. I would prefer to be in a dark quiet room all by myself.

Though when I was younger and in elementary school, I would try to hide in closets, but they didn't like that so they would forcibly drag me out and escalate the situation.

I would then try to leave the room, but they would end up blocking me in. (Mostly because they thought I was gonna hurt myself and other kids. ... I got real violent during my meltdowns.) So I would always feel trapped. Because in a way, I was.

There is a difference between putting myself in a small confined place, and someone keeping me inside a spacious class room.

When I put myself in the closet, I know I can leave on my own terms. But when they block the door to the Classroom, I know I'm stuck there.

And I don't like that feeling of being trapped. It doesn't matter how big the room is. If I know the exits are blocked off and there are people around I will freak. (And no I am not claustrophobic. like I said, I would hide in closets.)

This is not me saying "Well I had it worse so pay attention to me! Give me sympathy!" No. This is just me putting my experiences out there.

But when I have meltdowns I like to be alone. (And I know a lot of people are like that when they have meltdowns too.) But I would think if you're having a panic attack, that you would want people (You know/loved ones) to be around to offer comfort and to help ground you. (Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.)

[dogsplayingpoker]

a unfinished rambling post i found in my drafts from november

unable to make a grand or poignant thesis statement on it now BUT. my manager was talking about like mental health and neurodivergency awareness at a work meeting today. a though it was well intended and ultimately like very run of the mill stuff for the current midwest american cultural moment a lot of it struck me. like being in the room hearing it. and again i think my response too is quite normal-- she was saying something about the importance of people being open about our struggles, and i started thinking through the laundry list of things that i know for sure she wouldn't want me to be "open" about with her or at work in general. What would any of us gain if i talk to her about that one time she was driving behind me for a little bit when we left work once and i became convinced she was going to follow me to my home and kill me. How would my boss earnestly be able to improve "accessibility" in the workplace for me by knowing anything more specific about my Mental Health Experiences writ large outside of "i can't come in today," "i need to take my break now." Even in direct, specific, possibly "strange" instances, all she needs to know, as my boss, is that i'm fine if i say i'm fine and that if i'm not, i'll say i'm not. Even when well-intentioned it's clearly not...well, serious the way these institution-environments are speaking about these things. It won't do anything but put me at risk and make everyone uncomfortable if i detail to my boss that I was having a ptsd flashback or a meltdown or a paranoia-induced panic attack in the bathroom rather than a ""normal"" stress cry. part of the missed point in all this is that we draw a hard line between these experiences and the mythical ""normal stress cry"" in the first place. openess about "divergence" is partly important (in a worldwide societal sense, not in an individual workplace putting pressure on marginalized employees) because people need to realize most of us really aren't so diverged from one another at all. but our wage-slave economy keeps us in a cycle of justifying, rationalizing, pathologizing, categorizing, criminalizing, ostracizing. We live in a system built to weed out the freaks, and spend our time trying to find more inclusive language to make them feel welcomed as we figure out what the fuck to do with them. We implicitly realize the system is wrong and inhumane but seem to think it can be fixed by forcing all the freaks to "tell their stories" and be open about how the system is crushing them without mentioning that it was built to crush them. in my mind i am relating it to the discussion of like, "how precisely does #representation in mainstream media further the cause or societal wellbeing of [any marginalized group or class]" and a wider issue of defining "normalization." I do think that this is ultimately a growing pains thing on the way to class consciousness, personally. I just wish we could like hurry up and figure out how to get to our next stage in the discussion because it's been decades of this shit by this point. It is better to "embrace our differences" than it is to refuse to see them in the 1980's clinton era colorblindness sense. Progress marches on. But it would continue to march if we could start actually examining the substance and context and histories of those "differences." but that would really necessitate recognizing that these marginalizations were created in service to a structure we still all live under and will continue to marginalize the marginalized as long as it's allowed to survive...though first i think we need to be able to really contend with understanding the differences as constructed while still respecting the material effect they have and have had on people which seems like a nearly impossible conversation at this point. like we can't even talk about that in the realm of sexuality where their isn't some physical or genetic Thing for people to cling to (so instead we do

[divergentchangelings]

Whiteboard Corner

Part 4: Emergency Response Codeword

We realized a while back that it was becoming mutually overwhelming to try to each keep track of every task that needed to be done & when & who's doing what & all of the other details along the way. We agreed to try a whiteboard which worked SO well that it actually created new problems. It was obvious we needed more whiteboards to keep track of everything but how many did we actually need?

Well, one whiteboard became 2, became 4, became 6 whiteboards of different sizes & qualities. But they worked! We were able to section out important routines & reminders then stick them together somewhere we could see them all: the Whiteboard Corner!

We didn't want to admit to ourselves & each other how much extra help we'd been needing but not having to rely on faulty memories or miscommunications anymore was a huge relief. We're still figuring all of this out but we wanted to share what's been working for us just in case it helps anyone else Going Through It. 

• "OK, but what kind of emergency is this for?"

Mental & emotional ones. Meltdowns, shutdowns, panic attacks, etc. Trying to navigate important conversations (or even the fun unimportant ones) while mutually emotionally disregulated can get very intense very fast. We both needed a way to say, "I'm FREAKING OUT & I need things to STOP IMMEDIATELY" but we also needed some kinda response protocol. Obviously there's no one-size-fits-all solution so instead of having multiple codewords, we agreed on one that's easy-to-remember, created a protocol that has options, & wrote it somewhere easy to see for the next time we'd need it.

• Emergency Response Codeword

It took us a while to find a codeword that stuck. It needed to be easy-to-remember but it also needed to be easy-to-say when we both deal with selective mutism & easy-to-understand when we both deal with audio processing issues. The one that won?

Jim.

Now we needed some kind of protocol that was adaptable but dependable, something that we could ACTUALLY do while losing it, something that we could write down & not need to remember.

Concept: a pause button that would allow us to calm down enough to return to conversations & activities, a way to force ourselves to stop & check in with ourselves, an understanding of the expectation to check in with each other, multiple effective options, & a reminder to double-check if we're each stable enough to restart.

JIM* Emergency Protocol:

1) E-Brakes!!

•pause stress + deep breaths

•check in on self + each other

2) Choose Options:

•quiet time     •distractions

•alone time    •together time

•hydration      •dopamine snacks

•sensory kit   •fidget toys

3) Double Check:

•reset

•restabilize

•restart

This is part 4 of a 6-part series:

• Part 1: To Do/Today/Done

• Part 2: Calender + Notes

• Part 3: MultiSensory Wakeup/Winddown

• Part 4: Emergency Response Codeword

• Part 5: Keeping Track

• Part 6: Bonus Activities

If you enjoy what we do, consider buying us a kofi!

*To further explain why we chose "JIM" as our codeword requires minor 🚨spoilers🚨 for The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe so we've included that part under the cut:

It's very simple: either it means "I'm feeling A LOT like Jim right now" and/or it means "I'M ABOUT TO REPEATEDLY SLAM THAT BUTTON INTO THE FUCKING GROUND."

[finitevoid]

yeah remember that time in rd that sothe was like micaiah what arw we doing. Why are we fighting for the bad guys abd micaiah was like shhh kitten. This is that. Also tjat means micaiah was campaigning for trump. daein is a red state ? She is from florida..?

theres a brandeds for trump movement. the plural of branded is supposed to sound horrible i am purposely evoking some of tbe trump minority campaign group names that ive heard. gays, blacks, transgenders, etc for trump

“Is Soren a conscientious objector or was he just malding” i would say neither or a little bit of both. I dont think hes a big morally informed decisions type of guy which is what conscientious would suggest. And he tries to convince himself hes beyond malding about US politics but his aloofness always has a big malding factor to it. But not too directly about the actual events unfolding and more the general state of society. History. Existence. the election triggers him in the way everything does im sure hes insufferable during election season

nagito: trump because accelerationist trying to find some control over his luck cycle by purposely inducing bad luck for greater good in the end. Or testing his luck on a 3rd party pick he finds particularly hopeful which could be any of them. Dont think he would too fond of rfk. perhaps either stein out of the well known ones because of the hope of the people backing her or a really really unlikely unheard of guy. Starts freaking out laughing regardless of who wins. He would have the same reaction no matter the election result

hajime: kamala. Flips out at nagito no matter who nagito votes for because its nagito. *kamala loses* GREAT this is single-handedly YOUR fault *passes put from panic attack*

akane: did not know there was an election. Or biden

Hiyoko: i know shes a hater but not trump actually. Because she hates men. Mahoru convinces her to go team kamala

Mahiru: she campaigned for kamala #GIRL!!!!

nekomaru: kamala

peko: didnt vote

fuyuhiko: didt vote

teruteru: rural trump voter.. ?? im going to be hoenst i dont know what im talking about with most of this cast

sonia: *sonia voice* I can not vote!

<- she is thoroughly entertained by everything about the wlection as an outsider

Mikan: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm help me out here

Kaz: trump

gundhm: says he voted for GUNDHAM TANAKA……… actully voted kamala

Imposter:Fuck if i know

ibuki: voted for ibuki :DD

chiaki: kamala

mikan freaks out because every time someone expresses a political opinion in her vicinity she scrambles to say she agrees with them and apologizes profusely for ever believing anything else so when she’s in the voting line hearing people chat about their choices As they do she starts to stutter and cry because all the people around her disagree and she keeps having to change her mind based on who’s talked the most recently which all culminates in her getting to the voting booth and being faced with a decision and then running away entirely

hajime the type of guy to absolutely freak out about the election results like just complete meltdown about them full on freak out in his dorm room . He was up at 2 am watching the election and he spent until like 6 am catastrophizing

You really think kazuichi would vote trump? I’m not defending him and his frat bro vibes I’m just wondering how much he cares. Like if miss Sonia isn’t voting then maybe neither is he :/

what’s the reasoning for the peko fuyu not voting thing

[godtears]

I want to die so much right now. It won't stop. I keep having back to back anxiety attacks, panic attacks, and meltdowns. I have yet to feel a moment of peace. Even when I'm sleeping I'm freaking the fuck out because I'm having non stop nightmares.