#And I saw you shaming irl people for their looks

[1shadowhole]

(What I want to do with this post is to motivate writers who may see negative posts and get discouraged.)

So uhhhh. Not saying any names.

But criticizing the fanfic writers for not writing exactly what you want and being hateful about it is not that great at all. Especially when using very rude words.

If you want a certain trope of Merthur fics to appear more often just write it yourself! Like it was mentioned if "things don't change soon around here". Like an old man looking at a playground of kids laughing a bit too loudly. Writers don't owe us a thing.

Plus. If you really want to criticize the ability of our amazing writers you should probably learn to write yourself. Otherwise, you look like a massive hypocrite.

So. Since I would like this to be against negativity:

I'd like to thank all the amazing writers in this fandom.

Honestly, Merthur fics are the best I've ever read and some deserve to be acclaimed as the masterpieces they are!

And with kinkalot going on... I'd like to give you all a massive round of applause. You rock, babes (gender neutral) 💪💪💪

Your smut can be whatever you want it to be, and if you see a post complaining about it ignore it because no one agrees and we all love you.❤️❤️

On my end:

I'm someone who always has to have a controversial opinion. So you'll often see me saying stuff like:

"Hey, I think this particular trope doesn't really work well..." or "This is something that bothers me, because it's really common and doesn't acknowledge so and so..."

But I always make it clear that the post is not against the people using that particular trope. I always try my best to be respectful. Fic writers do this for free and I only want to spark conversations because, to me, that's the best part of fandom life. And maybe a few people get to see a new side to a certain topic and get inspired to do something with it.

Personally, I think the only time it's okay to openly criticize someone is if:

1) The writer knowingly doesn't tag trigger warnings even when asked.

2) The writer him/herself acted rudely or put other people down.

This is all really funny to me because I would have agreed! It's a trope I'd love to see more of. It's among my favorites! But it's not like I think people are dumb for not thinking the same way I do.

[hyunniesgirl]

Tease

Pairing: Changbin x fem!reader

Summary: tired of months of teasing, Changbin just wants to have you and he's going to do anything to make you his.

Or, the one where you were kink shamed and can't trust sexual partners anymore, until Changbin shows up and sweeps you off your feet.

Words count: 4,281

Warnings: dom!Changbin, sub!reader, throat fucking, slaps(?), degradation, oral(f & m receiving), spit, use of pet names(bunny, baby), reader is called names(whore), unprotected sex(use protection irl), let me know if I forgot something

A/N: as usual let me say that I can't write smut to save my life, but I got this idea a few weeks ago and left it in my drafts, then I received this ask and I thought it fits so yeah that's it

This content is 18+, minors do NOT interact

The first time you had sex, was weird. You thought that maybe it was always like that, maybe you really wouldn't feel much pleasure on your first time.

Then, your second and third time came and you noticed you didn't feel the same way your friends told you they felt during sex. Even though you were attracted and even loved the people you slept with, you just didn't come, you didn't enjoy having sex.

That was, until a guy you dated slapped you, while trying to change positions. Although it was unintentional, that was the first time you ever moaned for real while having sex with another person. You two stopped for a moment, him trying to process what just happened and you coming to a realization: maybe, you were just going about sex the wrong way, maybe you didn't explore your options enough.

You began researching, reading about kinks and whatnot. You asked your boyfriend for help, you wanted to try new things and after that, sex was finally good. You finally understood what your friends were talking about when they told you about their sex lives.

However, that didn't last for long. Your boyfriend was not as nice of a guy as you thought. You found out he actually shared every bit of your kinks with his friends, calling you weird and saying he just went along with it because you were attractive enough.

He left his phone unlocked while going to the bathroom and you saw a text of his friends, making fun of you and the things you like.

It's an understatement to say you were left traumatized after that relationship. You know there's absolutely nothing wrong with what you like in bed, but to trust someone again was too hard.

You were so afraid of going through the same thing again so you just stopped dating altogether.

With that being said, you didn't stop teasing. That is the only thing you can have while still not sleeping with men, so you enjoy making them suffer. Leave them hard and hanging, that's your thrill.

They would all give up in a bit, a few weeks of teasing, without actually sleeping with them was enough for them to be done with you.

Until you met him.

You knew you wanted Changbin since the first time you laid eyes on him. He's just so attractive you think you could cum just by looking at him flexing his muscles. He's big, so big he could probably break you in half if you let him.

You don't know what is it about him. You felt attracted to other guys like him before, gym bros are not usually your type but some catch your eye once in a while. However, Changbin has something more, he's not just hot. He's funny, a great dancer and he's just so sure about his masculinity that he doesn't see it necessary to keep reiterating it all the time like other guys do.

You still decided not to sleep with him, you are part of the same friend group, so he knows everyone you do. You really don't think he's the type to brag about his feats in bed but if he ever ended up being like your ex boyfriend, you would never be able to look at your friends again.

You are not ashamed of your preferences, but at the same time it's just something so intimate you wish only you and your partner would know about it.

You thought he would give up like the others, maybe in a month he would get over it and stop trying to win you over. But you were wrong, it's been months already and you're stuck in this cat and mouse situation with no sign of him letting go.

It all started when you met the boys for the first time. Your best friend, Ryunjin, talked all the time about these guys she met at a party, how they became super close and that you'd love them.

It was Ryunjin’s birthday, so you met them at a restaurant. Your eyes scanned through all of the boys when you arrived, they were all too good looking, is it even possible for a whole friend group of seven people to all be so damn attractive?

“Wait, seven? Didn't Ryunjin say they were eight?”

You felt a hand slightly touching your back, turning around to find kind eyes staring right back at you.

“Are you going to sit, miss?” He asked.

“Y-yes”, you stuttered, trying to compose yourself.

“Why were you so late?” Ryunjin asked, you're not sure if she's speaking to you or the guy.

“Traffic was insane”, you two answered together, snapping your heads to look at each other, smiling playfully.

“I'm Changbin, by the way”, he said, pointing at the empty seat and pulling the chair for you to sit.

“I'm y/n”, you answered shyly, seeing him sitting by your side even though there were plenty of seats available closer to his friends.

As you drank a bit through the night, you caught his lingering eyes on you too many times and you're sure he caught you eyeing him up too. He made jokes, throwing his arms to the back of your chair and coming closer to you.

The amount of times you just wanted to tell him to take you home was actually crazy, no man ever made you feel that way. The warmth you felt when he got close to you was something hard to explain, you felt all your insides turning around and your pussy was throbbing just by feeling his breath hitting on your skin when he turned in your direction to speak to you.

You were able to escape that night, forcing yourself to say goodbye and walk away with all the willpower you had in you.

Things didn't stop there, though. It became usual for you to hangout with the guys. They are always so nice and cheerful, it's great being around them.

Changbin is always close to you, making jokes so he can see your beautiful smile, taking the opportunity to touch you at every chance he gets. Sometimes he'll put his hand on your lower back while walking with you, other times he'll touch your arms while talking. If you are eating together, he'll nonchalantly lick his finger and press it to the corner of your mouth to clean the mess you made on your face, like that's not the hottest shit a man can do.

He's just always there, the first one to hug you when you arrive, the one who walks you to your car or uber when the night is over. His clothes are the ones you sleep in when they invite you to a sleepover and to say you don't have wet dreams all the time, while sleeping embraced by his scent, it would be a lie.

"Why don't you just fuck him?" Ryunjin asks, while you eye fuck Changbin from the other side of the room. You're in a corner of his living room, there's music playing in the background while everyone is waiting for the food you all ordered. He's looking so good with a black tight t-shirt that outlines all his muscles and baggy sweats that do little to hide his nice ass. You're probably drooling at this point.

“You know why”, you tell her, Ryunjin knows all about your bad experiences.

“You've known him for months now, it's obvious he's not like that prick of your ex”, she says and you nod, you do know it.

“It's just hard”, you sigh. Trusting someone again over something so delicate to you is difficult.

“Yeah, I get it”, she smiles sympathetically to you. “But you know he'll reach his limit at some point, right?”

“I don't know what you're talking about”, you say, looking at her with doe eyes and an angelic smile.

“You know exactly what I'm talking about”, Ryunjin rolls her eyes, “you've been playing this teasing game for a while and he'll get sick of it at some point”

It's true that you've been enjoying yourself since you noticed his interest in you and you did what you do best, tease.

You touch him all the time, while his touches are subtle and shy, you're much more obvious about it. You play with his hair when you're sitting close to each other, a leg over his. He's so respectful, his hands never go above your knees. You shamelessly touch his biceps, squeezing them while biting on your lips, oh how you wish this man would put you in a headlock with said biceps.

Every time you touch him, he gets horny, it's a spontaneous reaction that only you could cause. It never happened to him before, he dreams about the dirty things he could do to you. You're so fragile, so beautiful, he wants to ruin you, break you so no one would ever want you, then you'd be his forever.

While you're indeed afraid he'll get sick of your antics, Changbin is sure he'll never give up. He wanted you since the first moment your eyes locked with his and he'll make you his, no matter how long it takes.

"Wait", you say too loudly as soon as WAP starts playing, "THAT'S MY JAM", you grab Ryunjin's hand, making her stand up to dance with you.

You sing along, watching some of the boys coming up to you two, dancing around and laughing at your excitement.

Turning around, you look at the kitchen, seeing Changbin leaning against the counter, watching you. He would usually join the dance, but not tonight, his eyes are fixated on you, making you feel like you two are the only people in the room.

He has only a beer in his hand, a smirk on his lips and dirty thoughts in his mind. He decides that tonight you're going to pay for all the times you left him hard just for the fun of it.

You have no idea what's in store for you, so you keep teasing him, sliding your hands down your body, rolling your hips, staring shamelessly at Changbin.

You look around for a bit, making sure no one’s looking at your little scene. It's crazy how this song just makes you feel — horny and needy for someone that will really put you in your place. You sigh, looking back at Changbin, he's still watching you, a frown on his face now. He's muttering something you obviously can't hear because of the distance but his eyes are dark like you have never seen before.

The music ends leaving you satisfied with the results. Changbin is still staring at you, or better, eyefucking you.

The food you ordered doesn't take too long to arrive, so you sit happily at the table with everyone, talking like you didn't just make him get as hard as a rock just from your dancing. He feels like he's losing his mind, you're too much for him already and he didn't even fuck you yet.

You go to the bathroom before going home, you're kinda sleepy already so you want to wash your face so you won't fall asleep in the uber.

After throwing some water on your face, you stare at yourself in the mirror for a moment. You're such a coward, you wish you had the courage to make a move on Changbin for real.

Sighing, you get yourself together, opening the door ready to go home and forget this whole night. You didn't expect to bump into the man you so much desire right outside, leaning on the wall with his muscular arms crossed in front of his chest.

You flinch at the look he gives you, the smile that grows on his lips is everything but friendly, so on instinct you take a step back.

“H-hey”, you say, trying to recompose yourself. “Do you want to use the bathroom?” You step outside, awkwardly, leaving room for him to go inside.

“I sent everyone home”, he takes a deep breath, walking towards you. “Now it's just you and me, I think it's time for us to talk”

“Aren't we already doing that?” You laugh, sheepishly, stepping back again only to bump in the wall.

Changbin tsks, putting his hands on your waist and pressing his body against yours.

“It's time for you to stop playing games, bunny”, he tells you, he's too close, his nose is almost touching yours. “You fucked around enough already”

You feel the air get stuck in your throat, what are you going to do now? Your mind can't think of a way to get out of this situation and you feel like if you reject him now, it's over. You don't want it to be over, you want him so badly it's crazy.

Changbin sees the opening he needs, you're considering his proposition.

“Let me make you feel good, hm? I've been wanting you for so long, let me have you”, he continues, trying to persuade you. “I promise you won't regret it”

You can feel his hard cock pressing against your stomach, you want to let him do anything to you. The problem is the consequences later, but you decide to let the y/n of the future to handle that, you just want him to fuck you senseless right now.

You take a deep breath, nodding and in a split of a second his lips are on yours, hungrily attacking your poor mouth. He's being too harsh, you know he doesn't mean to hurt you and the way you can feel how much he wants this makes you more turned on.

He slides his hands from your waist to your hips, pulling you away from the wall so he can grab your ass. He squeezes it, groaning, it's so good to finally have you. Oh, the things he wants to do to you.

Changbin taps twice on your thighs, holding you tightly so you can wrap your legs around his hips. He carries you all the way to his room without disconnecting his mouth from yours, you're not sure how you didn't have to stop yet so you could breathe.

As soon as he gets closer to his bed, he bites your lower lip. He throws you on the bed, taking his shirt off. His body is so much better than you imagined, his chest looks like it was sculpted by an artist.

He climbs on the bed, leaning over you and brushing his nose on yours, softly caressing your cheek, taking your hair out of your face.

"Why did you take so long to let me have you, hm?" He leans more, kissing your collarbone and biting your shoulder, making you flinch.

"I was scared", you whisper, closing your eyes to the sensation of his lips on your skin.

"Did you think I would hurt you?" He asks, worriedly, hands coming instantly to cup your face.

"No, I know you wouldn't", you sigh, "I just had some really bad experiences with other people and was scared”

He's relieved he was not the one you were afraid of, but at the same time he's angry, he wants to know who's the asshole who made you feel bad about yourself.

"I won't do anything you don't want to, bunny", he gives a peck on your lips, "let's go slowly, hm? I'll do a bit of everything and you can tell me if I should go further or slow down, alright?"

You nod, feeling one of his hands sliding slowly from your face to your scalp, grabbing a handful of your hair and pulling it slightly.

"Should I keep going?" He asks in a whisper, already knowing your answer by the way your lips parted and your cheeks reddened.

"Yes, please", you plead, looking him in the eyes and seeing a smirk grow on his lips.

“Tell me, bunny, do you want me to be rough? Or do you want me to be soft?”

You stare at him for a bit, he's looking at you so intently, waiting for your answer. You never thought someone would ask you this question, ask how they could make you feel good.

“Rough”, you blush, avoiding his gaze. He grabs your face, squeezing your cheeks harshly.

"That's good”, he gives a peck on your pouting lips, “because you deserve a punishment for all the times I had to jerk off by myself thinking of you", he points out, pulling your hair harder and making you moan, leaving your neck exposed. He takes the opportunity, leaning closer and licking the bare skin, sucking and biting it hard. After making sure he marked you, Changbin sits.

"Undress", he tells you while he watches you, sitting comfortably on the bed. When you don't move, he scoffs. "Or should I rip your clothes apart? I don't mind", he smirks and you look down to your expensive new dress, you actually would like him to rip your clothes, but not this one.

So you shake your head, taking off your dress. You try covering yourself a bit, feeling too exposed. You're wearing only your panties since you didn't need a bra for that dress.

"You look so beautiful bare and ready for me", he says, grabbing your hand and pulling you closer to the edge of the bed.

"Sit here, bunny", he says, tapping the place by his side. "Tell me, how do you think I should punish you?"

"I- I don't know"

He frowns, smiling slightly.

"Are you sure?"

"Whatever you want", you say, feeling the warmth grow in your cheeks. "You can do anything you want."

Changbin sucks in the air between his teeth, a big smile on his face.

"I like the sound of that", he chuckles, lifting his hand to your face and squeezing it, "now before we can finally start, tell me if there's anything you don't want tonight"

You take a deep breath, looking deep into his eyes.

"There's nothing, I'll tell you if I feel uncomfortable", you say confidently.

"Hm, I like it. You're so good for me, baby", he stands up, taking off his sweats and underwear, sitting back with his legs open. He's so hard and pretty, you even salivate looking at his cock.

"Get on your knees", he commands and you do just that, feeling the hardwood scratching your skin. "Come here and open your mouth for me okay? I want you to show me how sorry you are for making me wait for so long"

You nod, lifting your shaky hands to grab the base of his cock, you're not sure how much you'll be able to fit in your mouth but the simple thought of sucking him makes your excitement drip from your cunt. Changbin puts his hands on the bed, looking at you with a condescending smile, just waiting.

You lean closer, wrapping his cock with your mouth, making him groan. You lick his shaft all the way up to his leaking head, twirling with your tongue at the top.

“Fuck”, he says, bringing one of his hands to your head, grabbing a fistful of your hair and forcing you down. You feel the tears brimming in your eyes, your throat is burning with the assault. “Look at you, looking so pretty gagging on my cock”

You moan, feeling your core aching, your hand slides involuntarily to your clit trying to have some release. His cock hits the back of your throat once again, making the tears run through your cheeks, you try to catch your breath but he keeps fucking your mouth violently.

“Oh my”, he smiles, “are you touching yourself? Did I say you could do that?” He asks condescendingly, “I guess whores can't help themselves”

He releases your hair, finally letting you breathe.

“So you like the pain, right? I have so many things in store for you”, he gets closer.

You're too intoxicated, eyes glossy from the tears and lips swollen. Your mascara is smudged all over your face.

“Are you okay?” He asks, taking your face into his hands once more, making you look at him, “do you want to keep going?”

You nod, frantically. “Yes, please”

He smiles satisfied, pushing you on the bed. Changbin kisses your feet, trailing softly over your legs, all the way up to your thighs. He leans over, biting the inside of your thigh, earning a whimper from you. Leaning over your pussy, he doesn't waste time, eagerly sucking on your clit and licking long stripes between your folds. Your hands automatically go to his head, pulling him closer to your core.

He inserts a finger inside you, looking up to see your beautiful face contorted in pleasure while he works with his fingers and tongue. You had forgotten how it felt to have a good fuck, how delicious the pain is. You're clenching around his fingers, so Changbin knows you're almost cumming, that's when he stops.

“What the hell?” You whine, trying to touch your clit with your hand so you can finish it yourself but he doesn't let you, grabbing your face harshly, squeezing your cheeks.

“You should take what I give you”, he says, “Open your mouth”, he commands, spitting inside, “now, swallow”

You feel all your insides turn around, you could cum just by the hold he has on you. Your pussy is throbbing so much it hurts, but it's so good.

“Binnie, please”, you whine, ready to beg for him to fuck you.

“Hm? Tell me what you want, bunny”

“Please fuck me, please, please”, you beg.

“If you ask this nicely I can't deny”, he smirks, climbing on top of you. He's huge, strong arms on each of your sides, trying not to put too much weight over you. He pulls you by your ankles, positioning himself in the middle of your legs.

You try grabbing his cock so you can put it in already, you're too desperate but he swings a slap on your ass, making you whimper to the pain, you were not expecting that.

“I told you to take what I give you, bunny”

He slides his cock up and down on your wet folds, feeling like he could die at any moment by feeling your warmth embracing his cock.

“Put it in, Binnie”, you plead again, desperate to feel him inside you.

“Fuck, babe, you're so fucking pretty”, he tells you while teasing, “but do you deserve it? You made a fool out of me all this months”

You feel your eyes brim with tears again, feeling the little bit of stimulation he's giving you by slightly touching the head of his cock to your clit.

“I'm sorry, I'm really sorry”, you sob, “it wasn't just you. I went back home every time and fucked myself thinking about you”

“Shit”, he groans, sliding his cock inside you with no warning, you scream to the sudden intrusion in your sensitive cunt but it gets stuck in your throat while you sob. “Tell me everything you want me to do, yeah?”

He's thrusting violently into you, gripping your hips into place so he can have you exactly where he wants you to be.

“I want you to fucking break me”, you tell him, “choke me, bite me, do anything, I'm yours”

Changbin slams into you even harder listening to those words, he slides his hand up, wrapping it around your throat. He tightens the grip, cutting the air off.

“My beautiful princess wants me to fuck her senseless?” You feel your orgasm closer, the sensations you're feeling all over your body makes it feel like you're in a haze, completely lost in pleasure. The knot in your stomach grows so big, it feels like it explodes, making you shake and arch your back, feeling overwhelmed by all the pleasure.

Changbin keeps going hard, feeling you clench around him just makes him get closer to his own climax. He takes his hand out of your throat, holding your hips for support.

“Do it inside”, you whisper out of breath, feeling his cock twitching inside you. He cums a few moments later, feeling your pussy sucking all of him.

He collapses on top of you, supporting himself in his arms, not wanting to weigh on you but still wanting to stay inside of you. You help him by wrapping your arms around his waist and flipping you two, now you are the one on top of him and his cock is still buried inside you.

You lay on his chest, hearing his heartbeat, not sure what to say now. You're afraid he'll judge you, even though it looked like he enjoyed the same as you, your ex boyfriend seemed to like it too. What if this was just a one time thing for him? You're not sure if you'll be able to be with other people after this night.

As if he can hear your intrusive thoughts, Changbin wraps his arms around you, kissing the top of your head.

“Should I call you my girlfriend now or should we go on a date first?”

You snap your head over at him, wide eyes and a big smile on your lips.

“I think you'll have to do much more to be able to call me your girlfriend”, you smile playfully.

“Oh? My bunny is so greedy”, he gives a peck on your lips, “I can get used to that”

-------

A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback gives me motivation to keep writing.

[sebscore]

Can I request a Gen-Z driver fic where she straight-up DROPKICKS Christian Horner in public after he makes some really sexist comments abt her?

Cuz if this man isn’t gonna get humbled IRL, might as well do it in a fic😂

A MAN’S WORLD

pairings: (indirect) christian horner x driver!reader / lewis hamilton x driver!reader

warnings: sexist comments. mentions of christian horner. mention of an orgasm.

author's note: this one's not really a funny one, cause I went the more realistic route with it, i fear. I still hope you like it, though. I might do a 'comedic' version in the future, because i agree as well that horner should get humbled by someone (although toto is doing quite a good job)

masterlist

• • • • • • •

''What's your opinion on Christian Horner stating that more girls are getting into F1, because of the good looking drivers?'' The reporter's question echoed through the room, cameras ready to capture her reaction as the words left his mouth.

Being asked about misogynistic comments that people in the sport made had become a regular thing in the press conferences ever since the young woman entered the Formula 1 world.

On one hand, it had become tiresome. Some men just wouldn't stray away from their sexist thoughts, no matter how many successful women would climb their way through the ranks. On the other hand, Y/N felt like she owed it to every single woman and young girl out there to defend them against these conservative men. Many women before her had proven that this wasn't a men's world and for as long as she'll live she will repeat that message.

''Young girls and women have always struggled to be taken seriously in the motorsport world, and for a team principal of a highly-regarded racing team to say that the only reason they watch this sport is for the handsome drivers? I find that quite insulting. There are many reasons why women are interested in the sport. Sure, there are people who got pulled into this world, because they found some of the drivers good looking, but why should they be shamed for that? They're the ones showing up to races and the ones who buy the merch. I know he has apologized for his comments, but I think we all know how much of that he meant.''

The lack of emotion on the woman's face and in her voice was a rare sight for the drivers and reporters. Perhaps it showed how fed up she was and how tired she had become of having to answer these questions. It hadn't been the first time the Red Bull Racing team principal had expressed some serious sexist comments.

Her welcome into Formula 1 had been a polarized one. The drivers had been supportive and many people were delighted that after such a long time there was finally a woman in the beloved sport, one that had talent that matched the ones of her competitors.

But where there is support, there is hatred. In her first ever press conference, Y/N was asked to comment on an interview that Christian Horner had done where he was asked about the woman and her arrival to Formula 1. ''The first time I saw the girl I thought that she was one of grid girls,'' he laughed, ''it's definitely going to be tough for her, entering a man's sport.''

The rookie knew the question was going to be brought up and she answered with the response her team had drilled into her. ''No comment.''

It was sad how after several years things hadn't changed, the comments were still the same and the people who made them still hadn't learned their lesson, simply being patted on the back for their mistakes.

''Do you find the handsome drivers distracting during your race week?'' Another journalist asked her, his pen ready in his hand to note her response.

Y/N looked to her side, finding Mick and Lewis already frowning at the man. ''Oh, yeah! It's super distracting when I look to my side and find a helmet there. It just riles me up, you know?'' The sarcastic comment earned her laughs and chuckles from several people in the room, happy she could show everyone how ridiculous the question actually was.

Not too long after the press conference was over, to all the drivers' amusement. Lewis caught up with the young woman as they walked out of the room. ''You handled that well, I really loved what you said.'' He squeezed her shoulder, a soft smile on his face.

''Thanks, it's just so- ugh, tiring.'' Y/N sighed, rolling her eyes.

''I know, darling. I was there was something I could do, but I'm afraid that the two of us are in the same boat.'' Lewis could relate to the discrimination she experienced because of who she is.

''Like, yeah, you all are handsome individuals, but it's not that I get an orgasm every time I see any of you.'' Her comment made Lewis giggle, her bluntness never failed to make him laugh.

''And out of all people, Horner should be the last one worried about his good looks bringing interest in the sport.''

[zeldasnotes]

➷ If you have a Moon-Pluto aspect You probably grew up wondering why people love the same people you cant stand because you saw things in people that others didnt see. You see the little smirk someone makes when telling a lie, you notice everything.

➷ Lilith in the 9th house might go against cultural expectations. Someone I know with this placement moved in with his girlfriend without being married and a lot of his relatives shames them because he is the only one in his family whos not married.

➷ Having a strong Neptune in your chart especially Neptune in the 1st house can make it very hard to know what to wear, what to work with and how to act without getting inspiration from others. Like you might not know what clothes you like until you see someone else wearing something that you find attracive and then you go buy the same pair of pants you saw someone else with.

➷ You will be at your most powerful when you act like your chart ruler in conflict. Example:

Saturn: act calm, your cold facial expression does the intimidation for you. You dont look good screaming or fighting.

Mars: You are at your most intimidating when you are all up in someones face and when you are being straighforward letting it all out, your angryface is scary.

Venus: Your social skills and way of looking innocent is your best weapon, people will take your side anyways

Mercury: Your words!!!

➷ The best time to start to work out or diet is when Venus is transiting your 6th house. You will be more organized and driven during this transit.

➷ One thing Ive noticed with women who have Venus or Moon aspecting Neptune is that they tend to copy and idealize other women a lot and other women do the same to them.

➷ Lilith in the 2nd house are the kind of people who wont leave their food in the fridge at their job because they are so afraid of someone stealing from them.

➷ People with Venus in the 1st house tend to not only be good looking but also have a wonderful life. They are well liked and people like to be around them. They usually get what they want and find partners get jobs very easily.

➷ If you have Lilith conjunct North Node you will keep being put in situations where you have to stand up for yourself ,bring out your inner bitch & stand alone until you learn.

➷ Moon conjunct Chiron in the natal chart is a sign that family members will be the ones to cause you pain especially female family members.

➷ I was friends with someone with Scorpio Mercury and I noticed that she never wrote anything bad about anyone in our group chat or in text messages at all like the rest of us did(This was in high school) She only talked bad about people irl. She never said or did anything that anyone could prove. She was also friends with the right people and only started drama with people who were not popular. So calculating.

➷ Mars in the 9th have strong opinions and dont like when people disagree with them. They are also not the type to like you if you have different opinions and see you as a good person in spite of your opinions. If they dont like your political views they dont like you. They dont separate a person from their views. (I have this placement and im like this😂)

➷ Do you even have Lilith Square Ascendant if you never experienced a person walking out of the room because you walked in or a person refusing to go to a place if you are there

➷ If you have Moon or Venus aspecting Pluto you will get to see the worst side of women and if you have Sun or Mars aspecting Pluto you will see the worst part of men and masculinity.

➷ Chiron in the 9th house are constantly put in situations where they cant escape and feel trapped. Like trapped at a job they cant leave.

➷ With Moon in the 1st house synastry there is no getting to know eachother phase you just instantly know the other at first sight which is really good if you are about to move in with the person.

➷ People with 1st house ruler in the 2nd house wants to be seen as rich and elegant. This is the placement of people who grew up poor and then when they started making money they only dress in gucci and prada.

© 2022 Zeldas Notes

[maximumkillshot]

"I Can't Lose You" Part 5

Warnings: Aftermath of a miscarriage, some fluff, descriptions of grief due to losing a baby, Crying LeeKnow, There are flashes of death. Shock, Grief, There is anger... and yes that's a warning.

Pairing: Bangchan x Reader

Characters:  Stray Kids, Reader

A/N: Ok if you read the above, you'll notice that anger is in the warnings... We are going to see a lot here. Hold on, okay? I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I AM SORRY IN ADVANCE.

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

Also remember, this is a fan fic. All of the boys are so sweet IRL.

Stray Kids! Masterlist

Overall Masterlist

Previously:

That half an hour never went by quicker. They stood on the phone as they waited, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. As soon as the clock hit 8:30 am all I could hear was wind… 

"We are running to you right now!" Minho said. 

I could hear the occasional shove and giggle. A few minutes later there was a stampede of sneakers on the floor and as they walked in Minho said "In 3..2..1.." then he pulled the curtain back and hung up. 

Now:

Everyone gave Minho a little room. He wouldn't admit it, but he has a soft spot for you, he always did. From the minute you came into their lives, Minho always treated you like a sister. 

He held and still holds the utmost respect for you. He trusted you so much. He would fall asleep on you during long drives, give you the keys to his place to play with the cats, he also would talk to you about any and everything. 

You still looked pale, frail, and exhausted. Your face sunken in, every move causing a slight wince. You were a shell of who you normally are. He could sense it. That is what made him want to break. Where is his bubbly, eccentric, and lively sister? Where is the sparkle in your eyes? The immediate hearty laugh that he came to know and love.

Some of his best memories with you were full of smiles and laughs. Like when you tried to learn how to cook beef Wellington and you almost burned the kitchen down and all you did was laugh and say "it's the Wellington's fault! I did what I was told to do and it decided to burn." Your smile was ear to ear and your cheeks had the cutest blush to them.

Now when he saw you, you did smirk… but not smile. It didn't reach your eyes. He could feel the hole in your heart. Fresh and still bleeding. He wanted to find where that chunk of your heart went, put it back, and stitch you back together again, even though, deep down, he knew you wouldn't get that piece back.

Minho wanted to put you back together, like what you've done for him thousands of times. He wanted to hold you and protect you, to shelter you, he wanted to take it away. All of it. As the oldest he didn't want to let it show, but he felt responsible.

How did he not see the signs? They were all right in his face. Leaving practice last minute, chuckling and giggling at his phone but refusing to show it to him, even some as blatant as he's going to meet up with a "friend". Minho still replays it in his head. Seeing Soo walk down that hallway only took the knife already in every single one of the boys' hearts and twisted it more. She was mortified when she saw the boys staring at her. Her face looked like it was already white, the blush of embarrassment was clear. He remembered everyone's faces and reactions. 

Felix looked disgusted to be in the same room as her. Seungmin was glaring at her, clear that all he wanted to do was scream at her, shame her. Han almost screamed at her as well as Hyunjin. Minho had to cover Han’s mouth while Innah covered Hyunjin’s. Minho knew that they had to listen to what was happening down the hall. They had to make sure that you were okay, that’s why it was imperative for everyone to be quiet. Minho knows it takes two people to cheat, and that fact alone made all of this even worse. How could anyone do this to their best friend? She let herself out with a small ‘I’m sorry’.

But by far the worst expression was Changbin’s. Bin’s eyes still haunt Minho. He was the first to see her walking down, as he was the most on edge in the room. Seeing Soo? That shocked his system, he slowly backed up until he hit the wall farthest from the hall, clearly not his conscious being doing it. Minho could see the fact that Bin was not completely registering he was seeing her. When it finally did hit, Minho saw Bin’s being shatter for you. Minho saw as his eyes snapped from Soo to the hallway. His feet were frozen, he was trying to move closer to the hall again, wanting to move. Minho knew why he couldn’t move, he was broken for you. How do you comfort someone that was betrayed by their spouse and their best friend? He was so shocked, he let his body slide down the wall, hands in his hair. He kept looking down the hall, hearing intently, just in case he was needed but still in a crouch.

He felt a rage building at the memory, he saw himself going back to the house and dragging him here. Watching as he sees his whole life crumble in front of him. Even that wouldn't be enough payment for what he's done. 

Then he looked into your eyes, kindness and strength were all he could find. After all of this shit how are you still kind? How are you strong? He thought to himself. If he was in your shoes he would’ve dropped everyone and everything. Yet here you were. Welcoming Minho in. Your broken pieces in your hands, heart still bleeding, your life crumbling in one night, Why are you looking at me like that? He thought. 

A look of comforting silence, the want to help, why do you always want to help? Your hands open, showing the pieces, offering them to him…Everything is gone and you still want to give? His chest was getting tight and he didn’t know it but he started shaking slightly.

 Your voice mere minutes ago playing, ‘I can’t lose you MinMin. I can’t lose my boys, m’not strong enough,’He felt his being deflate, his soul cracking. Oh… we’re all you have. You are kind, loving,giving, strong, resilient, graceful, funny, and a million other things. Why? Why did he do that to her, why I don’t understand. She didn’t do anything. She only gave, time, affection, love to everyone she meets so why? Why did he do that to her? Why did they do that to her? It makes no sense. He was subconsciously bargaining. Wishing he fell asleep in the car, or he was in some elaborate nightmare… then why isn’t the nightmare ending, he feels his heart breaking, it should be over. He’s scared, not for himself but for you. The scream was real. Bin’s reaction was real… this isn’t a nightmare I WANT TO WAKE UP!.. He already was awake. 

Minho was so in his head that he didn't realize that he was crying, he was brought back by Changbin…

"Would you like to touch her? You can, Hyung." He said gently. His touch was equally as gentle, nudging Minho to the bed. Changbin loves you, a lot. A close second is Minho. No one, not even Minho could pin the type of love it is. All he knows that if you so much as get cut he is physically restraining himself not to coddle you. Which has never happened in his life, even with his exes. That’s why Bin is taking such a soft approach to this. 

Changbin’s aware that he had no choice but to accept what has happened. He was there when it happened. He saw all of it. Minho didn’t. The most he heard was your scream. Which, given, is enough to understand the severity. Believing and understanding are two things. Believing is the heart. Understanding is the mind. Understanding why a door opens is completely different from believing the door can open. He understood you screamed but his mind didn’t believe that what happened actually happened.

You patted the open space you made for him to lay as you said "C'mere MinMin… you wanted a hug, yeah? I promise I won't break." 

You noticed that Minho looked scared. He looked like you had asked him to throw porcelain at a wall. So you said, "I know it's a shock, but I'm here… I'm going to be okay. Can I have a hug or a cuddle please?" 

He walked to you and laid down. The minute you touched his skin he started crying harder. He’s a visual person. He can imagine a move before he makes it. That same gift is why he cried harder. He knew how close it was to him visiting a corpse at a funeral home. The milisecond you touched him, he imagined himself touching you for the last time, cold, in a coffin. That sent searing pain through his heart. He had no other choice but to sob. All you did was hold him and put his head right to your chest so he could hear your heartbeat. Letting him know in your own way, that you'll be okay. That you are alive. That there's nothing for him to feel bad or responsible for. 

He has been through a lot, and because of his outward nature he isn’t seen as a super touchy feely person, but he can never explain to you how happy he was that you put his head where you did. He had confirmation that you’re alive. It was beating right by his ear. Your heart is strong, you are here. He looked to Bin; whose face looked so empathetic then, as if to say to him I understand. It’s okay. 

He held your waist so gently, you could barely feel it. It ghosted over your frame like the sadness rolling off of Minho himself. As he laid there, crying he noticed how close he was to your belly too. That added on yet another level of sadness and pain. He knew you would've made a great mom. You're caring, compassionate, and to top it all off you carry yourself with such strength and grace. He would've loved to see it. 

Han came up to Minho and rubbed his leg as he directed the rest of the members except for Bin to hang back. Bin closed the curtain a little more.

Bin told him, "She's going to get better. She's seeing another doctor today a little before lunch and then after lunch, they're doing more tests for her iron count. But she's already feeling better." 

Han said, "I know she looks really sick, but she is going to be out of the woods soon." 

You said "Just having you here makes me feel so much better," and you kissed the back of his head. 

Minho said, "I'm sorry. I should've seen it."

You looked at him and said "It was something no one would have dreamed of him doing. I saw odd occurrences but I just said 'he'd never do that' and here we are. You are not responsible for another man's actions, okay?" 

You wiped his tears as he looked up at you, "Are you okay?" He asked with the most broken look on his face.

"I am now," you smiled at him and he just stood there for a bit. Lying on your chest while you combed through his hair with your hand while he calmed down. 

After a few minutes, the curtain was opened back up and you were swarmed by hugs, kisses, and everything in between. When everything settled down you asked a question that no one expected you to.

"How is Chris doing?" You even surprised yourself with that one but you couldn't help but wonder how he was.

Minho said, "he collapsed after Bin told us the news." 

I.N. continued "Everything from ‘I want to take it back’, to ‘Please God let her get through this." It was clear that he was over even giving Chan another iota of his time and breath. He didn’t tell you or anyone else about his feelings often. That’s because I.N. can come off as unfeeling, very blunt in many ways. He knew that if he were to say what he actually wanted to, it's not only going to do no good to the situation, but it’d also cause more grief for everyone involved. He just wanted the storm to be over already, the more he looks at you, though, the more he can tell that the storm just began. 

None of the boys would tell you, but I.N. was very close to killing Chan last night, you see he was the only one in the same room as Minho when he called Changbin. Chris was pacing so much right next to Minho that after he yelled at him to shut the fuck up, he ducked into Han’s room, to talk to him, I.N went with him. He just wanted to hear you were okay. That was all he wanted. He heard your screams, and Hannies stunned silence for what felt like years, only to hear “I’ve gotta go.” Right after that happened I.N stormed out, looking for Chan to kill him, if it wasn’t for Seungmin heading him off, I.N. would probably be in prison right now.

Seungmin said "Oh you forgot about my favorite, ‘I promise I'll make it right’. Like he ever could." His face turned hard at that moment. Understanding that no one can bring that baby back, take that trauma away. As if  a baby could so easily be forgotten, to ‘make it right’. 

You didn’t know but Seungmin felt nauseous at that sentence. Knowing Chan like he does, he’d probably try to not only convince you to get back together but to try again too fast. That thought is what made bile rise in his throat as he knows that Chan is the type to try to fix things quickly before anything sets in. Just recounting those thoughts made him debate running to the bathroom to puke. 

He couldn’t understand how someone could see all of the blood on Changbin, narrowly avoiding death via Changbin’s hands, and seeing the proof that a baby once was thriving in his wife and now that is not the case. Literally because of the shock that he caused. If he knew what he did he wouldn’t have said, “I’ll make it right.” He can’t raise the dead, erase your memory, hell he can’t even keep his dick in his pants, apparently; so how pray tell would he do the impossible… He can’t. 

Hyunjin said, "To be honest, none of us care what it does to him because he was the cause of it. He did this to you. To all three of you. We left before we beat him within an inch of his life. We have been waiting in the parking lot since."

There are so many emotions in the room, from disgust, all the way to enraged. One of the people who was enraged was Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin was the type of person to be closed off. A lot of people see him as just a pretty face but he is so much more than that. He’s a fantastic vocalist, rapper, and dancer. However, he is also an amazing artist, painting and drawing being his favorite mediums. So when you came around, Hyunjin was very hands off. You didn’t give up though, seeing his studio and complimenting him endlessly on his talents. 

It took a few months for him to really warm up to you, but once he did, you couldn’t get rid of him. Honestly you wouldn’t have it any other way. He was very warm and loved to make paintings for you, especially loved studying and drawing your face. He loved the angles and the emotions your face conveys, so some days he’d just walk into whatever room you’re in and he’d start snapping photos. Then he’d disappear into his studio, then the next week he’d bring you the oil painting of your face. Every single one was so pretty and you told him that you aren’t that pretty and every time he’d say, “You aren’t pretty… You’re gorgeous and don’t you ever forget it, My Queen.” His nickname for you was “Queen”. There’s no one as beautiful and regal as a queen, which is why it fits you perfectly. 

The first time he called you that nickname you giggled and said, “Hyunjin, you’re the royalty… not me.” He just told you, “Sure Prince’s are royal and handsome. But there is no one as beautiful, noble, wise, and royal as a Queen on her throne. If that isn’t you I don’t know what is.” Him being his dramatic self, kneeled down and kissed you hand, making you blush and giggle.  

When he looks at you now he is enraged that Chan did something so abhorrent to the person that he considers to be the most beautiful person inside and out, to the Queen. When he sees you now, your eyes lost their spark, lost their brightness. Your gorgeous skin, pale, dull, lacking iron. Your body, weaker than he’s ever seen it be. Your laugh, half hearted. Your smile, his favorite feature, can’t even reach your eyes… All of this and more made him want to tear Chan apart. 

Saying and doing the things that he did and said about you stunned everyone. Especially since you love each and every member and would walk through fire for them. All of the members could see in their heads the analogy ‘stabbed in the back’, coming to life. Both of them took a knife and stabbed you, their sister, their Queen, their best friend. In their eyes, he stabbed all of them, ripping apart the family he spent years creating, gone. 

Just hearing what Chan said after he left, Felix got thrown into the memory of barely 9 hours ago, at the 3 Racha house:

Felix asked Chris to join him on the couch right after Minho and I.N. left the room to talk to Bin. Chris was still waiting outside the room and Felix called him into the living room, once more. As soon as Chris sat down Felix grilled him, “Why Chris? She would do anything for you. Walk through Hell and back, face any and every threat for you… And this is what you do? Why did you even ask her out if you knew Bin-” he got cut off.

“Don’t finish that sentence Felix.” Chan looked at him through lidded eyes, rubbing his face. 

Felix could still see the marks on him, the hickeys, the light scratches on his back. If he got close enough he could still smell her on him. It made Felix sick to his stomach. Felix got angry at that, “THEN FUCKING ANSWER ME CHRIS! WHAT WAS THE POINT? WHY DID YOU HURT HER LIKE THIS?!” 

“She was never supposed to know.” Chris said in a detached manner, “It was just harmless fun! I needed a release Felix, something you wouldn’t know about.” 

Felix’s face broke, throwing his hands up, “Oh really? That’s disgusting. YOU are disgusting. You needed a release? How about going to your gorgeous wife and making love to her? Or y’know, go to the gym, watch some anime… LITERALLY ANYTHING OTHER THAN CHEATING!”

Chris said, “I tried all of that, Felix. I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

Felix’s jaw dropped, “ You’re right, you don’t need to explain yourself to me. I don’t know how we didn’t see you before. This,” he motioned to Chris’ body, “Is the real you… and it’s vile. How dare you do that to her! How dare you make her feel inferior, degrade her in her own home, in her own bed.” 

Then Felix said something that he will never regret in his life, “You never deserved her. Bin should’ve been with her from DAY ONE! You are pathetic.” He glared at Chan, who got up to size up to Felix.  Felix got up and matched him, unphased as he said, “I hope she leaves you. As a matter of fact, I pray that she leaves you because she doesn’t deserve to wonder what her husband is doing behind her back. She deserves to be pampered. She deserves to be with someone who actually wants to spend time with her and love her. She deserves to be taken care of. Because all she has EVER done for us, is take care of us.”

He then got in Chris’ face as he said, “I hope to GOD that she leaves you for Changbin. That way she’ll know what real love is. And if anything happens to Y/N or my niece or nephew… God help you. God help you and your whore. You both ruined two lives today and I will NEVER let you forget it. I promise you that.” 

Chris didnt say anything as Felix growled with all of the base in his voice, “Now…Sit… the fuck… down.” 

It was only when Han changed the subject that Felix was ripped from the memory.

Han could sense where the conversation was going and he immediately changed the subject, he started to crack jokes and mess with the other members. After a bit you yawned and reached for Bin, “Binnie…” 

He looked at you, saw you yawn again, and he laid down with you, “ok come here.” He said as he gently cradled you. He petted your hair back as you wiggled yourself closer, finally sighing when you deemed Binnie close enough to let the heat seep into your bones.

Han looked and said, “Oh I get it. I am right here, perfect for cuddling and you pick him I get it.” he started smirking at you but leaned over to kiss your forehead on Bin’s chest. 

Despite the noise in the room, you were out in minutes. Hyunjin was the first to notice, who nudged Felix, who then set off a chain reaction until everyone was smirking at you and Bin cuddling. 

He wasn’t focused on them though, he was running his fingers through your hair, drawing random patterns on your back as he watched you sleep. It was only when he saw a faint flash that he looked up to see Hyunjin with his phone up. He looked at them and mouthed, “don’t make me laugh she just got to sleep.”

But no one was laughing. They always could tell the fondness he had for you. It was so obvious Minho would tell him to stop following you around like a puppy. It was their way of saying that they knew.

That whole thought made his face drop. In his head, he should’ve never let Chan within 100 feet of you. He went to Chan about the crush he had on you first, being one of his closest friends. He was asking for advice on how to get over his nerves and just ask you out.

  Chris has psyched him out, though, saying things like, "I don't think she's into you, man. She seems a bit more interested in me. But don't worry, I'll take care of her." And "I don't know man. I mean you can try but if she rejects you, you have to be prepared for that. I wouldn't if I were you though. You seem like the friend type for her. Not the boyfriend type." 

He was thinking about how he should've followed his own heart and gut, which are rarely on the same page. Both of you love working out, music, food, nutrition, the list goes on and on. One of his favorite memories with you is before anyone asked you out. 

You had invited him to the Han River. He didn't know why but it was a picnic you set up for him especially. He had gotten very stressed out during a meeting with the execs in the company he works for. They had told him to lose weight… yet again. He doesn't feel comfortable at a lower weight. He feels physically weaker, his mind not as sharp. 

You yourself had tried to explain to Chan what Bin was feeling. That’s largely because you have always struggled with feeling good at the weight you were at but everyone told you, you were just too big. When you had gone through similar diets you felt like a walking zombie. You couldn’t even think of going to the gym, because your brain just didn’t work with no fuel.

The societal pressure onto that only added to the chaos, and you couldn’t imagine how lonely it felt to be told by employers that you need to cut down, as well as go to the hectic schedules that Bin had to, and worry about making content, and trying to keep at least some of your life private. You couldn’t see him go through that alone. 

That was when you had the picnic. He had no idea that you knew about that meeting, but it was actually Felix that tipped you off to it. If there’s anyone in the world who would get what Bin was going through it was you. As always, you knew how to make Bin smile. You set up at his favorite spot, making healthy foods and also packing some of his favorite shakes. When he walked up to it, his face lit up, and so did yours. He ended up playing hooky that day, and spent the whole day with you. It’s one of his favorite memories. Now it's bittersweet.

He was mad at himself at those thoughts, Chris was so clearly into you so he used Bin’s insecurities against him… and it had worked. He thought about how all of this wouldn’t have happened and you and him would be happy together. That’s all he ever wanted for you. That was why he let you go in the first place. He wanted you to be happy.

After about a half an hour of hushed talking while Bin kept you relaxed, a set of footsteps walked down the hall. Just hearing them, Bin’s ears perked up. They had an authority to them, almost pompous in nature. Commanding… he knows those steps.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

WANT MORE?! TELL ME SO! Want in on the tags? Shoot me an ask and consider it done!!

STRAY KIDS TAGS!:

@Fuckthinking, @feybin, @1-800-shedevil, @channiesbakery, @channieswhore, @hwangswhore, @seungminhour, @skzms, @angstraykids, @roseykat, @seventeenytiny, @dreaming-medium, @thunderous-wolf, @hanjsquokka, @moonjxsung, @diddybok, @fics-lovebot, @seungminssangel, @straykeedz-recs, @straykeedz , @straykeedz, @tasteracha, @ven-fic-recs, @euphoric-univers, @camilagonzalex, @juskz, @antoniorhinothethird, @mariteez, @armystay89, @i-like-nougat, @yeonjunsfox, 

@laylasbunbunny,@uwuitsjungwoo, @3racha-soup, @bandolls , @bomi-ja , @skzfairyyyf8te

[valsunrye]

Response Summarized

I will likely not look at things on the situation anymore; it's been aggravating my anxiety to high levels for days and bringing my mind back to thinking about my past years-long experience irl with what might've been emotional abuse...

My takeaway from this: guilty? innocent? I'd say Alex is innocent in some regards and guilty in others. I'm sorry for ALL involved no one deserves to be doxxed and harassed. The seriousness of the situation is that these rash responses could've gotten a suicide report on Alex instead of receiving this response, think about that fact. This isn't just a cancelization or drama you could've gotten someone KILLED as someone who is a very emotional person myself I want you to reel in your emotions I don't care that a lot of you are teenagers, so am I and there is nothing that justifies doxxing when you are not even 100% sure that every single allegated claim is true.

This has been extremely immaturely by the internet and community, think on your actions because some responses made were very much illegal. I saw someone post Alex's full legal name, phone number, address and past address while calling Alex a transgender slur which I have since reported and gotten taken down. The angry mob mentality on both sides is unacceptable: harassing the victims, harassing Alex, harassing neutrals. (None of these are appropriate responses, stay rational.) I've been appalled, disgusted and utterly disappointed, shame on you.

Also remember that it is not within your right to be like, "Alex, we all forgive you🥺🥺🥺" You were not the one who got hurt. People still had their mental health declined by Alex's reckless actions, which I am truly sorry for. I hope you heal.

I'll likely still post TMC content sometimes, as I'm emotionally attached to the characters. The fandom itself got me through some difficult times, and I would have stayed regardless of whether or not this response was posted only due to that.

I think that both Ven and Alex need to take a step away from the internet, as well as their past relationship issues, and go offline.

Anyone may feel free to share tldr I got off discord to other sites or with mutuals etc. If you have the time please PLEASE actually read the document itself, there's a lot more to it and those who don't read are the ones who spread the most misinformation.

[farfromstrange]

Lizzi's Kinktober 2023

Day 15: Mask Kink

October 30th, 2023

Main Masterlist | Kinktober Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Summary: Matt really loves to eat you out.

Warnings: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT (18+ MINORS DNI), black suit Matt supremacy, Dom!Matt, mask kink, unprotected p in v, fingering, orgasm denial, slight spanking, bondage (use of ropes), use of "good girl", praise, not proofread

Word Count: ~2.5k

A/n: This is dedicated to @sunaspotato because her mask kink made my mask kink worse. And since she’s on this hellsite too now and wanted to read this, here you go. (Also, I hope you can still look me in the eyes after this. If not, I sincerely apologize. It’s different when one of the people reading this is someone I know irl so I hope I didn’t disappoint with this.)

The air coming in through the half-open bedroom window brushes coldly against your heated skin. 

You never thought you would end up in this position. So… vulnerable. Hunted like prey. It was never your intention. And yet, here you are now. Your wrists are tied to the bedpost with a harsh, greyish rope that isn’t yours, your sheer nightgown torn to shreds and discarded somewhere in the room. 

You’re helpless. Hopeless, also. Your friends have told you time and time again that you trust too easily, and maybe that is true. You can be colorblind to the existence of red flags. When you look danger in the eyes, you tend to gravitate toward it and not away, which has put you in trouble more times than you can count. You have shit judgment, to say the least, so it should come as no surprise that you are in this position. 

He has walked you home before. A few nights ago, a man tried to mug you after you missed the last bus of the night on your way home from work, and even though you cooperated, you had a bad feeling you weren’t going to make it out of this alive. He was about to steal all the money you had left in your purse, your phone, and everything else dear to you. 

Out of nowhere though, a dark figure emerged. He wore a mask made out of some sort of used fabric, a little white peeking through where it kept his eyes hidden from the world. His lips caught your attention right away. They were curled up into a smirk. He looked as if he had no emotions left in him, he only saw red where you saw none, and he beat the man trying to steal from you to a bloody pulp right at your feet. 

You should have been terrified, but the fear turned into a quick thrill, and it made you more careless than it made you careful. 

“You shouldn’t be out here on your own,” he said to you. 

Foolish of him to think he could tell you what to do, but he was right. He shouldn’t have been out there on your own. 

Next thing you knew, he offered to walk you home. Him on the rooftops of the city, you below. And you felt safer. You agreed; you talked to him, and you let the danger right into your life. 

From the second you first laid your wide eyes on the stranger, there has been something so forbiddingly arousing about the image in your head. His plump lips, his tongue, his sharp jawline, and the chiseled chest that he keeps hidden away underneath a tight, black shirt. Not to mention his thighs and the ass he is definitely not hiding in those pants.

It is so arousing, you have not uttered a word about it to anyone. If you told anyone the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen saved your life and belongings a few nights ago and has walked you home from work every night since then, they would surely call you crazy. Perhaps you are, but you have no shame about it. You are ashamed that he does something to your neglected soul, something a stranger in a mask should not do, but you are not ashamed that you haven’t told him off. Maybe you should be, but you can’t possibly find an ounce in your that cares. 

Even though it wasn’t planned and it took you off guard, you let him in when he knocked on your windows tonight, begging you to stitch him up. His panting and the way he groaned whenever the needle threaded through his skin didn’t help with this strange attraction you have been harboring. 

He noticed. You’re not sure how, but he noticed that you were getting turned on by his presence, and it was only a question of time until he would snap. In the end, he did about half an hour into your putting bandages on his battle scars. 

Now you’re tied to the bed, naked and vulnerable to the man in the mask at the foot of your bed, but your heart is not beating out of your chest out of fear. It’s the pulse between your legs that is the most prominent, and the danger only sends the pleasure you’re experiencing to new pinnacles. 

He isn’t going to show you his face, he told you as much. Lucky for you, you do not want or need him to. The thought of getting fucked by a man you have no idea what he looks like is as arousing as it is exciting. The mask on his face only enhances the feeling of being completely exposed to the prying eyes of danger, and you don’t want to miss this feeling again for the world. If that makes you perverted or mentally deranged, you don’t have a problem with that. You’ve been told that your delusions will be the death of you one day, so maybe it’s time to live your truth. 

The man paces around your bed. Eventually, he opens those plump lips again. He asks, “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?”

“What I’m doing to you?” you question, your voice barely above a broken whisper. He’s got you right where he wants you. 

“You’re supposed to be scared of me.”

You want to sit up, but the ropes keep you locked in place. 

“You were supposed to run away,” he says. “But you didn’t.”

“I don’t scare easily,” you tell him. 

He chuckles. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.” Why he sounds so bitter all of a sudden, you’re not sure. 

You let out a shaky breath. “I’m not scared of you,” you say, a lot surer this time. 

The stranger bares his teeth for a moment, then closes his mouth again. God, those lips. He hasn’t even kissed you yet, and somehow you already miss him. 

“I can smell you, you know. I can smell how fucking wet you are for me. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to control myself when you’re so wet?” he says. It’s a rhetorical question. “You want me to fuck you so badly, and you don’t even know me.”

You blush beet red. You’re not sure how he can smell that you’re wet, even with your thighs clenched so tightly together. There are a lot of things you ask yourself, and for a second you wonder if you made a mistake, but if he knows that you are desperate to be touched by him, there is no chance in hell you will be able to lie your way out of this. 

You want this. You want him. And there is no denying the obvious; he wants you, too. 

His cock is straining against his pants. He is packed, you can tell. You wish you could see him, even just a small glimpse of skin, but he keeps himself hidden away. That’s how it’s going to be. He’s not going to give himself away, and you’re not going to protest, no matter how wrong this may be. 

You want him to fuck you, and he wants to fuck you. There is only one way this is going to end.

The bed creaks. His gloved hand meets your bare thigh, and you shudder. Your mouth falls open. The rough texture hiding his fingertips rubs against the sensitive hairs on your body. It makes your toes curl. 

“Don’t move away from me,” his mouth is suddenly so close to your ear. 

“I’m sorry, Sir,” you choke out. He has a chokehold on your lungs and the oxygen that is supposed to pass through them. 

His teeth show when he chuckles this time. It’s a breathless chuckle that sends even more shivers down your spine until you can’t feel anything but him. His breath, his hand, his body—you are completely consumed by him. 

“Matthew,” he whispers in your ear. “My name’s Matthew.”

He told you his name. Does he trust you enough not to ask questions? Not that you have it in you to do so, but it throws you off for a moment. 

He told you his name. The masked stranger who refuses to even take his gloves off told you his name. Your mind reels. You’re interpreting too much into this, but how can you not? You are completely infatuated. 

You’re infatuated with the devil. 

The heavy leather of his gloves thuds to the ground next to the bed. When his bare fingers touch you, you’re almost halfway on your way to heaven. 

You let out a soft moan that sends the heat to your cheeks. Your heartbeat pulsates in your ear. You can hear your blood rushing. Can he hear it too?

“Tell me it’s okay.”

You blink at his demand. 

“Tell me it’s okay to touch you,” he says. “I need to hear you say it.”

The words elude you for a moment. “I–” You swallow as you look at his covered face. “Yes,” the consent rolls off your lips softly but surely. “I want you to…touch me.”

He lets out a sigh of relief. This is the most human you have seen him. “Thank you,” he says. 

You open your mouth again to respond, to tell him that he has nothing to thank you for, but he shuts you up by thrusting two of his thick fingers into your tight cunt all at once. 

Your words turn into a loud moan that bounces off your apartment walls. You struggle against the restraints, wanting to wrap around his wrist, but you have nowhere to go. Your walls clench around the intrusion, but he pushes through, his fingertips brushing over that one sweet spot that has you seeing stars within seconds. And once he has found that spot, there is no going back. 

The lewdest cacophony of wetness and heady moans turns into a crescendo. He is playing your keys so delicately, your entire body locks up. The wave keeps on building until it has turned into the size of a tsunami, ready to destroy whatever is in its path. 

He moves his digits in and out of you, brushing against that spot every time he thrusts back in, and he pushes even deeper until he’s filled you up completely to the brim. He reaches parts of you that you never knew existed, and he does it over and over and over again until there is not much more you can take. 

His free hand grabs your chin, forcing your eyes to meet the darkness of his mask. Somehow, that makes your walls clench ever harder around him. He smirks. Oh, that shit-eating smirk is going to be the death of you, you’re sure. At the same time though, you want to wipe it off his face. 

“Look at me,” he says. 

You have no choice but to comply, as ironic as it sounds. 

“Good girl.”

The subtle praise makes your nails draw blood from your palms, the robe rubbing against the sensitive skin of your wrists and probably doing just the same. You’re going to be bloody and bruised tomorrow. You’re going to carry his marks.

You’re his now. 

“Are you gonna come?” his breath tickles your ear. 

All you can muster is a weak nod. 

“Good,” he says. “Don’t.”

You must have misheard him. “What?!” you stammer. “But–”

“No.” 

Fucking with danger is as hot as it is frustrating, it seems. 

His fingers pull out of you suddenly, roughly—you are left with a gaping emptiness that makes your thighs clench, and your throat emits a whine that you are not used to hearing from yourself. 

“Please,” you beg. You never beg. Not like this. “Please, Matthew, I… I’m sorry.”

What are you sorry for? You haven’t done anything wrong. But he makes you feel like you did. He makes you feel like you deserve to feel so pathetic, and that he owns your orgasms. 

He owns you. 

Well, shit. 

The ropes around your wrists disappear for a moment. A moment of mercy, you think, but he is quick to flip you onto your stomach. The bed creaks again. You catch a glimpse of his smirk again. His mask. His body. His cock. It looks like he touched himself while he fingered you, his cock pink and weeping as it stands tall against his stomach. You want to reach out and touch it, a rare beauty, a rare sight, but once again, you are disappointed. 

He flips you over, and he ties your hands back to the headboard. You’re once again trapped. 

A series of cries, “Please, please, please!” Passes your lips. You kick your feet, you say his name, and you moan when his lips travel down your exposed back. You would do anything for more, and you try to, but he won’t let up. 

This is what you get for making foolish choices. 

“Patience, sweetheart,” he rasps. His hand collides with your backside, and you cry out. The pain turns into the sweetest pleasure, making your clit throb in need. You can’t withstand him. “I’m far from done with you. You asked for this, remember?”

The way he says it sends shivers down your spine.

When his thick cock penetrates your tight walls, forcing your legs to stay together as he pushes his way forward, you surrender. Your jaw slacks in a needy moan. He’s got you wrapped around his finger and his cock, and the feelings he elicits in you are so inhuman, you get addicted. He’s a drug. He’s dangerous. 

But danger has never looked so fucking good before. 

Besides, you brought this upon yourself when you let him into your bed. When you asked him to fuck you like no one has ever fucked you before. When you gave him consent to touch you. And when you let him take you like this, you surrendered yourself to him all over again. All of you. Your mind, body, and soul. You gave it all to him. You’re his now. 

His. His. His. It keeps repeating in your mind as he pounds into you, and God, it is good. It is so good, you lose yourself, and you never want to go back. 

The stranger in the mask is what you need. He is all you will ever need. 

You asked for this. 

You made a deal with the devil and now you have to pay your dues. 

Matt Murdock Smut Tag List: @acharliecoxedfan @gpenguin666 @linamarr @mcugeekposts @itwasthereaminuteago @ravenclaw617 @mattkinsella @norestfortheshelbywicked @yarrystyleeza @littlenerdyravenclaw @etanordoesbullsh1t @thychuvaluswife @harleycao @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch

Also tagging: @blackshadowswriter @1988-fiend

[umeji-writes]

I would like to talk about the Music Festival arc - aka my favorite Mairuma arc until now. I love them all tbh, this is just very close to my heart for several reasons. [cw: non-suggestive discussion of s*x; if you are a s*x-repulsed asexual person you are very much welcome to interact, but this may not be the post for you, take care and proceed with caution ♡ edit: I'm uncensoring the words from here onwards thanks to a kind anon's suggestion] To make it short, I love that the main theme of this arc is pleasure, and the desire for it. Honestly, it's very horny - but not in a slimy or creepy way, which is sadly quite rare in my experience. The appreciation for pleasure coming from love (also platonic love) is there in several layers. First, the plot itself, as Lilith cries out her desire to find "a love that burns like fire". She is not satisfied by most pretenders, and especially this frame spoke to me:

Because... Well... It's so true. I am an adult, and I had my share of sexual partners. The expressions people make irl are not always aesthetically pleasing, but who cares! We are told to strive to be always attractive, but in those moments of intimacy it's really not important, not as much as being fully present and enjoying the moment! Then, can we talk about Kalego please?

I mean, Nishi here went all out and didn't even try to hide her fascination for ...discipline:

(and to be fully clear: I am NOT implying there is sexual tension between Kalego and his students, I am only referring to him!!!) When I saw the whip I couldn't believe my eyes. Of course in that context it's not used that way, but it's very much recognizable as an adult tool... But more on this later. Finally, I really like that the Misfits are growing up and finding out new things about themselves. They are characterized as high school students (even if we don't know how old they actually are), which is when humans tend to have their first experiences and explore their sexualities. They are building together this beautiful show full of emotions and desire, and honestly performing with other people is really an amazing feeling (I am a former musician and theater actor - let me tell you, every performance was fire). Look at their faces: from here...

...to here.

They are shocked, but happy! And definitely feeling ...feelings. And here is my main takeaway: I am really, really sad that sex is a taboo topic in our society, and when there's something about sex, it's mostly treated in a very bad way. This includes sex scenes in generic-audience movies, which I tend to dislike... I hate that sex is handled like a dirty and secret thing. I hate that sex is mostly treated as something that has to do with power imbalance and taking advantage of someone else, usually men that "want to do stuff TO" women (nonbinary individuals like myself not found) - and too often not in a hot and consensual way. I hate that social media are becoming more and more sex-hostile, because investors fear these topics, and use children as a shield to justify limiting contents for adults as well. I hate that sexual education is mainly reserved for talking about pregnancies and, if the students are lucky, prevention of STDs. Solo or reciprocal pleasure? Consent? Treating it as a normal part of life for many people (and not ALL, again, asexual people exist)??? Naaaah, why do that, when you can make people feel shame and embarassment and perpetuate trauma. Again, I am a grown-up now, and while this is legal and everything, I was conditioned to feel some level of shame nonetheless when talking about it irl (which I am working on). The whip I was writing about before (and the kneeling scene afterward)? It was a revolution in my brain. "So... That's a thing we can do...?"

(like that) I plan on doing some adult drawings in the future, but there's a part of me that resists the idea, because adult entertainment usually involves some level of dehumanization... But you know what? I want to take it back and make it about pleasure and enjoyment as it should be. Tbh, I could write a whole essay on the causes for all of the above and how they interact (patriarchy, capitalism, religions as power institutions, etc.), but this is not the place. So I'll just say that I am really, really grateful to Nishi for including this arc in a manga for a young audience, as those are important years to build a healthy relationship with pleasure and one's own body. And as Sullivan said...

I'm very much convinced that Nishi is doing a great job at sending messages for inclusion and social equality in M!IK, taking the role of educator herself. (Other reasons why I love the Music Festival arc are: Soi's story, Clara and Azz becoming closer, Iruma learning the piano, the appreciation of music itself, the immaculate art and more, but that's for another post!!!)

[dreamerwitches]

I saw someone ranking Madoka plushies so I thought I'd rank Charlotte/Bebe ones for funsies! I'm not including pouches, bags or head plushes here

First up is the Charlotte transforming plush. Cute and pretty accurate. Also has the bonus of having a use and featuring both Charlottes. Her hair looks too light in the promotional pic but it's better irl from what I've seen. Sadly has the early Charlotte mistake of missing the dark right side of her jacket top. Sadly seems very rare and expensive nowadays. 4.5/5

The Wormlotte Ichiban Kuji prize plush. Wins points for looking dumb but in a cute, scrungly way. Works best from the front, it's a little bit of a shame she's so flat from the side so looks a bit odd. 3/5

Ichiban Kuji plush from the same set as Wormlotte. This one has already felt a little not great to me. The hair is too bright and you can see it goes under her chin which clearly isn't right. Her trousers are too red as well and she's missing the lining of her cloak. Makes sense she's less detailed because she's a prize plush but you could at least get the colours right. Also loses points cause I always see this one going for so much online and... she's not that great AND she's tiny... 2/5

The SCARF! She's great, so silly and such a good idea. Hair is too light and eyes are too teal but otherwise she's great and scrungly. 4/5

Another Banpresto prize plush. The colours are slightly better than the previous, especially the hair. 3/5

The HUUUGEE wormlotte. Who wouldn't love her?! She's amazing but very expensive, originally at around £150 and I'm sure she'd be lots more now. 4.5/5

Another Banpresto prize and another that's barely changed. It kinda feels like a step back... Green eyes??!! 2/5

The first Bebe plush, another Banpresto gig. She's very cute and silly but her hair looks wonky?? And it doesn't just seem to be the prototype. She's never shown with wonky hair so it just feels like they misunderstood the art... Her cape is missing the black inside too... Otherwise she's decent. 3/5

Banpresto prize but smaller. It has the same issues as before... 3/5

Same as the last but the unique pose and expression is very cute. You get bonus points. 4/5

An Ichiban Kuji Premium plush so she's a bit better looking now. Fixed the symmetry but I don't think she has the cape lining (it's hard to see in pictures). I like the velvet look but I know some people don't like that texture. Her fringe looks too triangular honestly, moreso than the last few. 3.5/5

WHY IS HER HAIR STILL WONKY?? Her hair ISNT wonky in official/concept art her head is just tilted, how are the designers so stupid??

See how it's tilted on the right BECAUSE her head is tilted but from her back view her hair is completely straight. Sigh. It's similar to the first few Bebe plushes. 3/5

Another Banpresto prize plush. Hair is back to being fixed, thank fuck. I really like how the lace around her collar looks like actual lace. Makes me notice the last few are mostly missing the lace... hmm... I don't like the way the fabric is cut off around the black bits of her sleeves. Makes it look bad. Also I think with the button eyes you're either gonna really like it or really not. I was scarred by Coraline when I was younger so it irks me, I wouldn't get her myself. Improved some bits but fell on others so the score hasn't improved... 3/5

Wormlotte's button version. Bonus points for making a plush of Bebe-Wormlotte cause I kinda love how unique she is. But.... this one's a bit shit... it has such a handmade quality and not in a good way. I don't get why the spots look like they're badly painted on. It's too flat as well and the circular shapes of the body are so badly defined. I like the face details but that's it. Perhaps shouldn't have relied so hard on the artwork. 1/5

Mochi Kororin Wormlotte. This is the kind of plush that I just feel I've seen far too much of... I'm so bored of it. But... she does look silly and I kinda like that. The blue wing is too teal (though it seems it took more from the art than the anime) and her left eye is red instead of pink (which is another art mistake) so it kinda throws off the colours when there's too much red in her face. 3/5

A Movic plush, this certainly feels more obscure. I love her stupid face and the unique pose. The eyes are the wrong colours in numerous places which is a shame but I'm glad the nose is 3D. (actually looking at a non-sample photo they got the eyes right! Must've just been the prototype) I like how the wings are drooped like she's bashful, it's very cute. No complaints! 5/5

I'm so surprised to see this one on My Figure Collection because she looks SO bootleg and this is what the popular bootlegs are based on. The fact they misspelled height really doesn't make me trust it. But at least I can shit on it! Eyes and cheeks are wrong (taking from the incorrect first anime screening), black hood is a weird flower shape, spots are too small, top is too light yellow, buttons are far too far across and cape goes around the front. If I could get her for like, less than £5 I would but otherwise I wouldn't bother. 1/5

How come the first Charlotte was the best and the rest were just kinda downhill? It seems like Wormlotte is harder to screw up. At least they're both pretty simple so you can always make her yourself. I was surprised my top pick was a Wormlotte since I overall just prefer Charlotte but like I said, she wasn't doing too well, even with the Bebes... a shame... let's hope they release better plushies in the future.

[overtaken-stream]

Begging for more king the wildfire smut like groveling and sobbing

I'm tearing my hair out bc I have no motivation to do anything besides play genshin and lvl up Wanderer (I am still in Inazuma and had only one interaction with the said man). Also don't think too much about what readers going to wear after this bath, I have no idea. AND THANKS FOR 50 FOLLOWERS GUYS!🥹🥹🥹

Yandere!King The Wildfire x Reader Pt3

! !NSFW! !

Warnings: female reader, invasion of privacy, non-con, bathroom, grief(???).

EVERYTHING IS FICTIONAL! I don't support these actions IRL!

The water felt suffocating against your skin, it felt heavy with the remnants of your old isle, the home you'd grown up in nothing but ash at this point, stuck onto your garb long forgotten on the stainless vanity.

The claustrophobic feeling continued to claw up on your sides as you scrubbed your skin under the watchful eye of your captor, the sponge dug into you, leaving scratch marks in its wake, and the rough exterior failed to bring you the feeling of cleansing you desperately needed, the raw burn marks on the skin made you even more anxious in the face of a monster, who used the same instruments to ruthlessly mutilate the innocent lives, whether or not you knew them didn't matter, their soulless eyes that begged for help still followed you, who saw them every time you close your eyes.

He was the same, whether or not he was under the same roof, the walls had his eyes, his ears, and the haunting aura, even as he sat just a couple of feet away from you, outside the bathtub, his eyes pierced your defenseless self until you could feel every shift they'd make, over your hips, hair and back they'd travel, sizing you up while your hands shook under the warm and dirty water, how could he... How could he humiliate you to such an extent?

(you wish you had a power of some kind, to deny him and get out of his iron grip, let alone the entire ship. His eyes looked down on you as he pulled your stubborn body into the bathroom, with one command.

``Wash up.``

What words could get through a man, a creature that merciless?)

You flinched at every move from him, your every scrub and burn did not relieve the shame and guilt that came from your spare time thoughts, even as you bled from the scrubbing, your people had it worse, so why, why did he drag you into it? what did he drag you into. What could you have possibly done to get the attention of this beast? You already have an answer, Nothing.

The dense atmosphere clogged your thought processes as you sat in the water that lost its heat. Looking down at your reflection, he continued to monitor you. You hated him, you hated how he started at you like a creature whose existence he couldn't comprehend, eyeing you like an animal with an unknown glint swimming in his blood-colored eyes, almost like he was trying to dissect a metaphor set in stone.

You could only bite your moist lips and leave a crescent-shaped mark on your thighs while hearing his footsteps close the distance between your frames. The bubble of simple emotions sways beneath your skin, shaking your resolve under his shadow.

Fright, alarm, loathing, it all made you quiver.

His hand, free of his leather glove, bothers with slow and sensual touches across the canvas that you are, his silhouette is visible in the discolored water, despite not coming into it himself, and that's the last sight you see before shutting your eyes.

You can't stop his arm, long and muscular from years of experience trailing over your ribs and down your belly, into the water, Despite your knees and hands trying to push against it in vain, the limb proceeds to slither without any obstacles until it meets its destination.

Your grip loses its strength, clinging onto his muscle as you drop your head, letting your hair hide you from his unwavering gaze, Your blood boils, yet you take your anger out on your bottom lip.

His thumb hovers over your nether region, pregnant pause from him falls upon you. Has he finally decided to stop his intolerable actions against you?

The thought gets relinquished as soon as he eagerly entangles his fingers with your sex, an unexpected action leaving you breathless as he digs and digs and digs.

Your back arches off of him, trembling knees trying to find leverage as your hands once again tighten around him, though you don't open your eyes, you can almost feel the glare, an unknown emotion rolling off of him in thick waves. Your teeth aren't enough to muffle the groans and panting that escape your bloodied lips.

He rubs and rubs, fast and slow in no particular rhythm, thumb pressing against your clit, he places a pressure you were never able to on that bundle of nerves, before kneading, hard. Whimpers bounce off of the walls as your body shakes. It hates.

His fingers spread your rose apart and you've never felt more caged. More helpless and disgusted with yourself.

The tears slide down your cheeks, combining with the blood gushing out of the bitten lip and it trickles down towards the reflection of the water.

Your body contracts with the pleasure, closed eyes rolling back into your skull as your mouth hangs open, a wave of pleasure leaves you helpless, taking away the shame before it dwindles and handles the pain like a weapon, slamming into you full force as soon as his heat leaves your back, hand now out of water.

You close your knees, the tears flow like a waterfall across your face, wails that don't leave you shake your body in quiet prayer. You're scared to open your eyes. Scared to see the revolted faces of the deceased staring back at you, spewing words of shame you surely deserve.

His footsteps fade, yet his absence goes unnoticed.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

One thing that still gets my blood boiling is some people telling the traumatised students to just 'get over it', leave their abusers, or to hurt/kill their tormentors as if it's a walk in the park. Um, hello? That's not how trauma works.

Yeeeah, I find that kinda iffy as well 😬 I don’t feel that it’s quite “right” (for lack of a better term) to judge/compare people’s (/character’s) pain resulting from trauma, or to tell them how they should “fix” said trauma or whatever bad situation they may be in.

**Please note: the rest of this discussion will include mentions of victim blaming and gaslighting; please proceed with caution.***

The problem with doing any of that (even if it is done out of concern or a desire to help people) is that it comes off as like… belittling the victim or downplaying the problem at times?? Like, if you compare traumatic experiences, it can imply that one is “lesser than” or isn’t as serious as the other when the circumstances are just as serious to each victim. (I see this happen most commonly with Vil and Azul; they both experienced bullying in their youth, but for whatever reason people tend to think Vil somehow had it "easy" compared to Azul.) That’s so disheartening and invalidating for any victim to hear. It makes them feel isolated and alone, because the people around them are implying their circumstances aren’t that bad. In reality, it’s not up to onlookers to decide how distressing or disturbing an experience is to someone else.

Telling them what to do is just as unhelpful because it takes away the autonomy of the victim, and the advice given is often unrealistic and unable to actually be carried out. (As another example, the advice I see most often is "Jamil should have just told Kalim he was unhappy with his position and Kalim would have helped him; rarely do fans consider that the Viper family's livelihood would be in jeopardy and Jamil would live in perpetual shame and guilt if he dared to speak out.) How can Jamil and Leona just “get over” a whole life of being put down? How can Riddle just walk out on his mother when he doesn’t have any means to support himself and struggles to even talk back to her? How can it be said that Vil has it better than Azul when both of them were clearly hurt by the bullying they received as children? How can one rush Idia’s grieving process or Malleus’s struggle to accept change and mortality? And if any of them are encouraged to act out in violence, what are the repercussions of that?

We oftentimes forget that, despite Twisted Wonderland taking place in a world with nonsensical elements like magic, the way it chooses to address problems is actually very much grounded in reality. For example, the end of every main story episode isn't really "the end" or a "resolution". Those terms imply that the problem is over when the episode is when it's really not. We proceed in the story with an awareness that the characters we saw last time are still struggling with the trauma they had before. They aren't "fixed" just because they were given good advice or they were beaten in battle until they came to their senses. Their problems didn't magically poof away, the victims are still working on overcoming their horrific experiences and not letting it have power over them. This is a very realistic depiction of trauma and how victims live and have to cope with it in their everyday lives.

A lot of the things the OB boys experiences are things that people irl have as well. This is, in part, what makes them such memorable and relatable characters, and why people may look to them for comfort or to help cope with their own trauma--so they don't feel alone. At the same time, it is because of this closeness and relatability that it can be hurtful when others make comments that talk down to the OB boys and their trauma. It's not always discussed in a mindful manner. Sometimes it's spoken about in a way that sounds like victim-blaming or gaslighting. It's almost as if to imply, "look, it's actually SO easy to fix your problem, so the fact that it has gone on for as long as it has is actually your fault", or, “you're in a much better situation than Person B is, so be grateful!” Unfortunately, it's reflective of behavior demonstrated in real life, with people either doubting or not believing victims,or acting like they know better than the person who has actually gone through something traumatic.

Whether you find yourself relating to the OB boys or not... Whether you have experienced something you deem traumatic for yourself or not... I think it would be nice if we were just a bit more respectful when it comes to talking about these matters 🥲 It shouldn't be a competition where we're sitting around ranking whose trauma is "the worst" (I have literally been sent an ask like this before and it made me extremely uncomfortable💦) or giving unsolicited, unrealistic advice the characters couldn't actually take. We can realize how damaging their individual experiences have been for them and wish them all the best without putting down others' experiences or talking down to them in the process.

[vettelsdarling]

I’m so in love with Max Verstappen lol can u write a one shot but where he isn’t a driver and both the reader and max are just normal people? Can you also make it a smut >_<

𝑺𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝑫𝒐𝒘𝒏

➪Ask and you shall receive ;)

➪I chose to base this off an interaction I’ve had irl, that I thought was pretty writable lol (most is fiction!)

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Fem!Reader

Warnings: (Minors dni) smut, swearing

Word Count: 3.5k+

You were visiting The Netherlands for a couple of weeks because you had a job there. You were a talented journalist from Vogue, but only one of many other writers. To show your boss that you had more potential than she thought, you decided to do a revolutionary piece on Amsterdam. You decided, one night, that you wanted some wine whilst writing your intro. There was a small and modest liquor store close to your hotel, so you didn’t have to worry about public transportation. It was nearing the evening and the sun was starting to set, which meant you had to pick up the pace if you wanted to make it in time.

When you got to the store, you found that you were the only one there. There was no cashier or worker in sight, but the store was open. Browsing the different aged wines had you feeling like you had taken the high road. Old money style. You were in your own little world, taking pictures of the different bottles and even holding out a peace sign in front of one of them and snapping a picture. After a while, you noticed a song come on the speakers. It was something you recognized from your earlier years in college when you went out partying constantly. The song had been popular back then, and the nostalgia hit you like a freight train. You already had your phone out, and you knew it’d be impossible to sleep without knowing the name of the song, so you held up your phone to one of the speakers and turned on your Shazam app. It kept loading and failing and loading and failing.

“I see that you like the song,” a voice said. It was smooth and had a thick Dutch accent. A hint of a smirk was mixed into it as well. Upon retracting your arm and turning to face the voice, you found the shop clerk staring you down with what could’ve been the most jaw-dropping smirks of the century. He was a sight for sore eyes. That was for sure. You buried your face in your hands out of embarrassment, as he’d caught you trying to Shazam a song on the speakers.

“If you must know, that song is… Slow Down, by Chase Atlantic.” Trying to save face and not look like a cartoon character, you removed your hands from your face and politely thanked him.

“Thanks, I should get going now, though. I have a train to catch in the morning.” That was a lie. All you had to do the following morning was report to your boss about current developments.

“That’s a shame, I could’ve prepared a special tasting for a gorgeous lady like you.” An immediate blush spread across your face. The effect he had on you was obvious and it only fueled his ego and confidence.

“I suppose a tasting wouldn’t hurt.” You looked down at your wrist as if to check the time. The man kept looking at you with his mesmerizing eyes and deep gaze. You knew damn well it could’ve been your own delusions. That he may have tried to merely act friendly or treat the last customer of the night real nice. It was impossible to say for sure. You had been in one too many situations where you'd accidentally misread a situation.

“You look deep in thought, darling. Relax and come with me to the back. That’s where I keep the best wine.” You could hear your own thoughts screaming at you to do something. Darling? That was something you’d only ever read in romance books. Was he even real?

“So, what’s your name?” He asked as he browsed his gallery of fine wines. You hesitantly told him your name and saw his face light up with a tiny smirk,

“That’s a beautiful name. Mine’s Max. Max Verstappen.” You took a mental note of his name in case you weren’t going to get his number later in the evening.

“So what brings you to Amsterdam?” His genuine curiosity made him that much more attractive. You couldn’t tell whether to cry tears of joy or run away from such a foreign feeling of delight.

“I’m a journalist or writer. Whichever name suits the piece I work on. I’m just here to do a review of my time here. It’s supposed to act as a travel ad, I guess.” He nodded, smiled, and pulled out a bottle he fancied.

“Sounds like quite the job, do you enjoy it?” He poured you a glass and also a glass for himself. A whole glass? Here you thought it was going to be a simple tasting.

“Oh uhh, yeah, I’ve loved writing since I was young. I don’t think I’ll ever stop writing.” Reminiscing about your younger self showing off your short stories to your older siblings and family members had you smiling like a fool. Max, being observant, picked up on it and took a mental picture of your smile. He’d never seen anyone as radiant as you.

“How’d you get into the wine business, if I may ask?” You watched him contemplate for a brief moment, before eventually telling you about his family and his legacy.

“So, yeah, here I am taking over my father’s business. He does most night shifts, but he had some errands to run this evening… so you’re stuck with me.” Was the liquid courage already going to your head, or were you really just that bold? You decided to look him directly in the eyes as you told him,

“I’m glad I decided to come tonight of all nights, then.” Your head was swimming in some newfound confidence. Perhaps Max had rubbed it off on you.

“Sure you are,” he chuckled and poured himself another glass. You weren’t a lightweight, and he didn’t seem to be one either, so you asked him to pour you another glass as well.

“I should probably go after this round. I have to do something tomorrow morning.” You chugged the last of your wine and squeezed your eyes shut.

“Yeah, heard you before. You have to catch a train, huh?” You just nodded to not seem suspicious and began walking towards the exit.

Before you had the chance to though, Max grabbed your arm and turned you around. His face was etched with confusion, not even understanding his own actions. The two of you stood there for a short while before he slowly let go.

“Sorry, I- um. I don’t know why I did that.” Your teeth subconsciously tugged at your lower lip and you gulped before taking a leap of faith.

“Wanna see my place? It’s just a hotel room, but the view is wonderful,” you broke the unnerving silence. Max took every word in and ultimately responded with,

“No, I think you should see my place instead.” Your boldness was met with twice as much boldness coming from him. You found it hard to breathe, let alone think. He started turning the lights off in the shop and clearing a few bottles that had been on display.

“I’ll lock up and then we can go. I’m sure my view is better than yours in more than just one way.” His smirk as those words left his mouth was smooth. Not just smooth— it was unreal. You were desperate for more.

You waited for him to finish up and when the two of you finally got out, and you heard the clank of his keys— he made you lock your arms around his arm. With that, you enjoyed the night sky and the dimmed street lamps. You took in the fresh air; a stark contrast to the New York air you were so used to. Max mostly stayed quiet, but he’d quip a fun fact about his country here and there when walking past the few sculptures that adorned the streets of Amsterdam.

“I’m starting to think you don’t even live in Amsterdam. We’ve been walking for at least an hour now,” you chuckled. Just as if your words were magic, he stopped walking and motioned for you to look up. There you saw a gorgeous penthouse. You never would’ve thought he’d live so luxuriously.

“Wait, that’s your place?” Your eyes were wide open. A small grin crept up his face and he shook his head,

“No, I’m just kidding. My place isn’t that fancy. I’m barely able to pay rent. It’s a day-to-day thing.” His living situation was surprisingly similar to yours. Most apartments in New York were too expensive to rent out, so you lived in a modest, but cosy apartment with your personality plastered all over. The rent was cheap and you had excess money to spend on personal indulgences.

“Actually, me too. Some would say I live like a peasant,” you joked.

“Great, we’ll be poor together,” he finished. The two of you had a quick laugh about your financial situations before you finally arrived at his place. It was a bit bigger than your own and had 3 rooms total. He showed you around his small flat, starting with the kitchen which connected to the living room. Then he showed you the bathroom, which had a rich lavender scent. He explained that his sister frequently gave him different essential oils and thymes and air fresheners that she’d find whilst travelling. He never knew what else to do with them but make his bathroom smell like a fairytale garden. He was getting closer and closer to being the greenest of flags you’d ever encountered. He showed you to his office which was the smallest room in the entire apartment, fitting only him. There was a tiny space for him to squeeze through and get to his chair.

Then the time came to see his bedroom. The state of people’s houses was one thing, but a bedroom could tell you everything you’d need to know about a person’s personality. It was where they would spend most of their intimate moments. Max’s room was simple. Simple yet stunning. He had a few family portraits on his shelf and a bookshelf you could only dream of having. On a small drawer, he had a TV with a remote next to it. His bed was queen-sized and the pillows were almost bigger than the headboard. The sheets were pearl-white and silk. Just above the headboard was a painting. It was a copy of The Fallen Angel. You recognized it from the required fine arts classes you took in college. It was a gorgeous painting that made the mind go around in circles.

“Yeah, that painting was a gift from my father. It’s a little out of place here but I didn’t know what else to do with it.” Max scratched the back of his neck and leaned against the doorframe.

“I love your place. It’s certainly nicer than my own. I haven’t had much luck with decorating like you. I mostly just have cheap and simplistic stuff from IKEA, if I’m being honest.” You sighed and sat down on his bed. The duvet hugged your hips as your body weighed down on the bed. Max went to sit beside you and decided to let himself fall back. You followed suit.

“IKEA isn’t bad at all. I like simplicity. Who doesn’t?”

“I don’t know, I guess it isn’t really all that bad.” You could feel your heart rate increasing as you heard Max shuffle. It could only mean one thing; he’d turned his head to face you. Frozen. You were completely frozen. You wanted to do the same, but for whatever reason— you just couldn’t bring yourself to do so. Any courage you had earlier was gone. Nowhere to be found.

“You’re beautiful, you know?” That’s what made you turn. You saw the curious look in his eyes and the genuine tug on his lips. You weren’t one to have one-night stands or sleep around, but you felt a certain pull. A pull that you found hard to resist. Max was magnetic and your body wanted nothing more than to be glued to him.

After you didn’t say anything, he moved closer to you and moved a strand of hair out of your face. His touch sent shivers down your spine. You felt an electrical current run through your entire body, coupled with a warm feeling starting to pool in your lower abdomen. The silence only seemed to pull the two of you closer, but it was obvious Max had more guts than you.

“I’ve never done anything like this before,” you muttered. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to. You definitely did.

“Wait, you’re a virgin?”

“Oh, no no, nothing like that. I’ve just never really been into hooking up with strangers,” you explained. He almost laughed at that.

“We don’t need to be strangers, darling. This is just the beginning.” There was something about the way he said it, that had your mind running wild. At the same time, though, you didn’t want to come off as desperate. So you waited for him to strike his next move.

Luckily, good things come to those who wait. He leaned in for a kiss that moulded into a more heated one. With more and more time passing by, it only got wilder. He switched your positions so that he was on top. Your fingers were intertwined with his blonde strands of hair. There was nothing left to do but start pulling at his shirt. He took it as a sign to pull away and rid himself of the article of clothing. After he threw it into a corner, he took that opportunity to admire the sight below him. There you were; sprawled out beneath him with rosy cheeks and lips that were swollen from all the kissing. Your half-lidded eyes looked up at him and he couldn’t get enough.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he whispered loud enough for you to hear before he dove back down to then attack your neck. It didn’t take him long to find your sweet spot. Once he found it, the whimpers flooding from your mouth egged him on. He fiddled with the hem of your shirt and instead of pulling it over your head, he ripped it off you.

“Hey, my shirt!”

“You can have one of mine instead. I bet they suit you better than they do me,” he whispered in your ear. His breath was hot against your ear. You didn’t actually mind the ripped shirt. It was a Walmart shirt that you got from a buy 1 get 1 sale. You weren’t wearing lace, but you thanked your earlier self for deciding to wear matching underwear.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to completely discard all of your clothes. Max struggled with the clasp of your bra, which you took over and got off. In his eyes, everything was perfect. There’s no such thing as a perfect being; he knew that, but there you were. Beyond perfect. He relished in his victory.

“Can you do me a favour and be as loud as you can for me?” You saw the look on Max’s face and he slowly started kissing down your body. You felt each suck going further and further down. Dangerously close to your cunt. With each gasp you made, the Dutchman gave your hips a squeeze. It was as if getting you off was enough for him. You finally felt his tongue graze your slit and your hips bucked in appreciation. Better yet, he wasn’t a tease about it. He went straight into it, sucking and moving his tongue in ways that made you scream his name like a holy mantra. The walls of the apartment were thin. Perhaps you’d have to apologize to his neighbours the following morning.

He kept going and you started pulling his hair as you got closer and closer to your release. He sensed your need and you immediately felt everything intensifying. There was no way you’d be able to hold back. So you didn’t. With a final scream of his name, you reached your peak and surfed through it gently with his help. Coming down was smoother than the silk sheets you were breathing ever so heavily on.

“Where did you learn to do that?” You tried to catch your breath, but it was hard. So hard for so many reasons.

“If I’m being honest, that was my first time doing that. I was pretty nervous about it, but now I know how you like it.” Was he a god? A sex god? You watched as he moved back up to you, spitting in his hand and wrapping it around his dick. He was above average but certainly made up for it in girth. You started to wonder whether he’d fit or not, but before you could let your mind wander too far, you felt him slide his dick up and down your slit, lubricating himself with your essence. The way he’d graze your clit with the head was to die for. You already knew you were going to be in for a ride.

“You’re sure about this?” He asks to be sure. If there was one thing you appreciated more than anything— it was asking for consent.

“I am. I’m on the pill as well. You can go on,” you said and bucked your hips, to feel just a little more pressure. There was no need for that, however, because as soon as those words left your mouth; he went for it.

You felt him enter slowly and carefully, letting you adjust to his size along the way. He stretched you out like you’d break in a new shoe. When he finally reached the end and couldn’t push any more in, he waited for you to tell him to move. A true gentleman. When you nodded, he almost pulled all the way out, before slamming into you again. You couldn’t help but choke out his name, accidentally leaving a scratch on his shoulder. In response, he attacked your neck. His movements were swift and steady. Your legs were wrapped tightly around him, as he held your hips with his smooth hands. Your hands were now in his hair, pulling and scratching. Your pants synced with his and the room was filled with the sound of skin slapping against each other.

As much as you loved the current position, you wanted more. No, you needed more. He noticed it and pulled out. In that brief moment, you felt emptier than ever. You proceeded to climb on top of him, shoving him back inside you. This time, he was able to reach much deeper. The position was so erotic. He was able to watch as your breasts bounced and your eyes rolled back. It was heaven on earth for him.

“Fuck, you’re absolutely out of this world,” he panted and squeezed your hips, guiding you up and down his veiny dick. Your hands rested on his shoulder and you lowered your head to pull Max into a kiss, connecting a string of saliva as you pulled away. When you felt him thrust up into you in a rather sloppy manner, you knew he was close; and so were you. Your movements became more erratic and desperate.

“Do it, finish all over my dick, darling,” he groaned and continued helping you with your release as well as his. You bounced a few more times before slamming down one last time. Hard. You felt yourself tip over the edge, spilling all of your juices on Max’s abdomen. At the same time, you felt him shoot his own load into you, filling you with a certain delight.

The two of you sat there for a little before you got off him and found a place next to him. He wrapped an arm around your waist and had your head on his shoulder. You felt his heartbeat starting to slow down after coming down from the incredible high.

“That’s what that’s supposed to feel like,” you sighed, which was followed by a chuckle from the both of you.

“You lied about the train tomorrow morning, didn't you?” You could tell he was smirking by the tone of his voice.

“I may have.”

“You should cancel the remaining days at your hotel and come live here. I don’t want us to be strangers,” said Max.

“Sure, why not?” You snuggled into his nape and closed your eyes.

“Hey, don’t fall asleep. Let’s get you all cleaned up first.” You realized that Max was no stranger at all. You had a feeling that he’d stick around for a long long time. At least you wanted him to, and it seemed like he wanted that too.

“Okay, stranger.” You got up and saw the smile on his face. He was cuter than you initially thought.

“Perhaps I could take this stranger out on a date tomorrow? I know of a great coffee shop nearby,” Max suggested and got up as well. You nodded and smiled, the two of you both leaving for the lavender-scented bathroom.

𝗥𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻...

𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚!

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

©vettelsdarling

𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗱𝗮𝗽𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘆, 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗲, 𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺— 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻.

[sttoru]

I'm honestly glad that I could relate to that one anon who hates p*rn and gets disgusted with dicks, I always feel like being disgusted by dicks is such a bad thing and it's just me who thinks that way but I'm glad there's someone who relates and also you're so right about p*rn not giving the viewers the freedom to imagine. And I agree with p*rn dehumanizing women but not a lot of people are ready for that conversation

it’s really nothing to be ashamed of, many people find dicks just.. weird or disgusting irl, and sometimes i do too - so it isn’t uncommon and no one should shame you for that ! sometimes things look better in your imagination 👩🏽‍💻

and yeah porn has so many downsides to it. those vids limit the viewers imagination & most of the links posted have the women in dehumanising situations / positions.

i saw this one kento link compilation and was curious to see what they added.. tell me why all of em were just rough sex. THAT MAN IS A ROMANTIC LOVER PLEASE 🙏🏽 he would NOT call me a bitch

[librarycards]

hi sorry i saw u rb posts on veganism & i was wondering how you reconcile that stuff re: ED's (for context i am vegetarian -which ik isn't the same thing- for eco/ethical reasons but also have loved ones with eating problems that i never never never want to shame for eating ever)

this is a good question! I've addressed it a few times before on here, but in brief: veganism is a philosophy and ethical orientation around all forms of consumption and relationality. food is, for a number of reasons (many of which also contribute to the prevalence of eds - fixations on false ideas of 'perfectable' heath; desirability politics; etc) a hypervisible component of vegan life. this is particularly true given that there is a massive imbalance in the ways that we collectively gather. a focus on food-themed events marginalizes a wide variety of disabled people and/or people with religious/ethical food restrictions, and in this case, being vegan and living with an ed are actually pretty similar re: exclusion and frustration.

given the above, more and more people these days have been delineating between "vegan" and "plant based". to be vegan, here, is to have a certain set of political commitments - toward multispecies + climate justice, via critical analysis and collective organizing regarding what we are, literally and figuratively, expected to swallow under settler colonial capitalist hegemony. to be, or eat, a plant-based diet, is no more than what it says on the tin.

with that important distinction aside, i actually want to focus on one part of your ask: the idea that to be vegan is in and of itself an act of shaming. i want you (and not specifically you, because this is something a lot of people should ask themselves) to think about why you find veganism itself to shame (verb) nonvegans. generally, there are a few reasons for this: perhaps it's just not having met a lot of vegans and only hearing internet scaremongering. perhaps it's a discomfort not unlike other unwillingness to look at the horrible shit that makes "our" lifestyles possible. it is hard to understand our own complicity in hegemonic violence, and, vegan or not, it is impossible to extricate ourselves fully from it. but we do need to look. veganism, at its best, provides a critical lens for looking, and a set of practices to minimize, as best we can, our buy-in.

truthfully, i think that people who feel shamed by the existence of a vegan in their midst should figure that problem out on their own. this includes psychiatrically disabled people, incl. disorderly eaters. this does not give any of us license to harangue vulnerable people for their eating habits, but it also doesn't morally obligate us to change our lifestyles for their comfort!

as a vegetarian, you probably don't have a whole lot of occasion to talk about your vegetarianism (outside, say, drs offices or food-based gatherings). people are often surprised when they learn that i'm vegan, because they assume all vegans must be "preachy" (i have yet to meet a vegan over the age of eighteen irl who is like this. i've met a lot of Big Mad protein bros, though, as well as MYRIAD preachy med professionals and laypeople who freak tf out that i'm a principled vegan anorexic). at the end of the day, you need to be able to live a life you can tolerate, one that best facilitates you to impart good in the world + in your relationships. one that allows you to understand the gravity and importance of your own survival, on your terms. if vegetarianism or veganism do that for you, those who love you will support it, even if it takes a while.

so, yeah. i'm not sure if you wanted explanation, advice, or both, so I gave both. sorry for the long answer (even though i promised brevity...) but i believe very strongly in bodily autonomy - this informs my veganism - anarchism - broad politic, and my answer to this ask. so you got an essay!!

[moonlightcookie]

a love letter to seamoon

disclaimer this will get Very long. majority will be under the cut. this will be very personal

i didn't grow up seeing lgbt media, only glimpses of gay fanart and fanfiction, created by fans. openly gay or trans characters in media didn't really exist when i was a child, and when they were, it was all homophobic and transphobic stereotypes, meant to get a laugh out of the cishet audience.

i grew up in a society where being gay (or trans), was a bad, shameful thing to be. the very first time i came out to anyone, it was my best friend in 7th grade. i texted her, crying bc i was so ashamed of myself, and afraid of her reaction. i texted her, bc i couldn't bear to say it aloud. she was the only one i had told, for years.

It's terrifying to even think of outing yourself when your peers were like hungry wolves, taking any opportunity to find anything wrong with you. i was already fat, ugly, a teacher's pet, etc. I generally kept to myself, and other kids didn't like that. especially since i was poor, and would often show up to school in old, torn clothes every day. nooo way i felt safe enough to come out to anyone else, until a few years later in high school (which was still super scary btw!!)

imagine how i felt as a teenager, seeing Steven Universe on air, especially after the Ruby + Sapphire reveal. a kid's cartoon with largely female/nonbinary characters AND canon lesbians? with onscreen lesbian kisses? on the MOUTH?? nowadays it might seem silly to praise SU for its lgbt representation, when now there's a lot more (by comparison) of openly lgbt media. but i feel like people, esp young people who grew up alongside SU and other openly lgbt media, don't realize just how revolutionary (and recent!!) SU was for its time. SU had actually been cancelled shortly after the Rupphire wedding, for obvious reason. before then, people would jump thru hoops to say that Ruby and Sapphire were sisters, or just "very good friends" . other countries would censor their relationship or not air it at all. sadly, i still see the same happen to other sapphic characters/relationships, including seamoon.

All of this is to say, i just want to let out how important Sea Fairy and Moonlight, and their relationship, are to me.

I first learned about Cookie Run 6-7 years ago when kinning CR characters was a big thing on tumblr lol. one of my mutuals would post about it, and the characters i saw looked cute, so i went to the wiki to look at some more. immediately i was drawn to Moonlight Cookie, and getting her on the official CR personality quiz didnt help either lol

then when i saw Sea Fairy's page, and her mentioning her deep love of the moon, i immediately knew she was really talking about Moonlight, and that seamoon was intended to be canon. this was all before the relationship charts, mind you. all we had were Sea Fairy's inital LINE/Kakao release event, and both Sea Fairy's and Moonlight’s loading lines to go off of

even back then, people were upset at the possibility of them being in love, headcanoning them as sisters or just "best friends", others would say Sea Fairy was talking about the literal moon, or even the moon that Moonlight rides on...

frankly, it was obvious to I and many other sapphics that seamoon was canon. the moon affecting the sea's tide IRL, Sea Fairy being the legendary released after Moonlight, with her entire story up to that point was of a sea fairy who was cursed to be frozen upon trying to reach the moon she so loved. Both their lines referencing longing + loneliness, the City of Wizards and the Tower of Frozen Waves's proximity... it all added up.

finally, on November 14th 2019, Devsisters released the "I Want You Every Day" MV. where we finally get real confirmation of Sea Fairy and Moonlight's relationship, and especially Moonlight's reciprocation of Sea Fairy's feelings, with this legendary moment:

(gifs from @/kumiihocookie) to finally have confirmation- there is no sentence in the English language that could accurately describe my feelings. Elation, jubilation, vindication, ecstatic, the list goes on. literally where else am i supposed to find a character who's just like me, including being canonically sapphic?! to have a character i see so much of myself in, be confirmed to be in love and in a relationship with another woman, one who loves her so much as to literally go to the ends of the Earth(bread) for, i cannot find the words although LDRs arent for me, they are the reality for many lesbians, including my own at one point. seeing these two women continue to love each other unconditionally despite their distance, despite the very real reasons they cannot physically be together, brings me hope as a lesbian.

i hope that i too, can find a love that will always look to the sky, thinking of me. a love that will love me unconditionally, the way Sea Fairy loves Moonlight. a love that can bring me peace and comfort, the way that Moonlight does for Sea Fairy.

[lunart-06]

im full of hinaegi thoughts and i really need to share them rn ..

FIRST, people don't talk nearly enough about the natural connection hajime and makoto have with each other, like in the 6th trial, where junko puts that fake makoto here, the others seem to be weirded out by makoto but they don't really know what, and even then they still refer to him by makoto, like sonia saying "makoto? what has happened to you?" but hajime literally says "I knew it.." and "Just as i thought.. There's something wrong with you!" he never says like, this guy is crazy, or that they shouldnt trust him, he clearly says a lot of times that there IS something wrong with him! at some point he even stops refering to junko's 'makoto' by name, it's funny, he only talked to the real makoto for some seconds before the class trial, but he still chose to believe that makoto over the fake one junko literally put in front of them, and it's because of that he discovered his contradictions.

there's also how they both bond a lot in some side events about both being really "common" and i honestly think they would serve as big comfort to one another, i believe even tho hajime would often feel like makoto is way better than him, he would also try to believe how makoto comforts him and says that he is capable of everything. and makoto, i believe he would really look up to hajime without a single ounce of shame now that he saw the real hajime and how much he has grown, but at the same time he would try to be a nice inspiration for hajime after everything that happened in the neo world.

NOW DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THEIR ULTIMATE HOPE PARALLELS, makoto getting his title for defeating junko enoshima, for being himself, for being so so optimistic in a broken world and in the middle of so much chaos, he was a simple dude that became the ultimate hope for being himself, makoto naegi. while hajime got his ultimate hope title when he became izuru, when he stopped being himself.

ALSO, OFFICIAL ARTS, WHY THEY SO DAMN CLOSE ALL THE TIME 🙄 and that wheres just the two of them, YOU CANT TELL ME HAJIME IS NOT PETTING MAKOTO'S HEAD . LOOK AT RHAT

also, hajime in the 6th class trial saying "To prove whether that Makoto Naegi is real or not.... I'm gonna shove *that* in his face!" wdym by that hajime?

SORRY FOR THE LONG ASK HINAEGI SOLDIERS

WAAHDHSH I LOVE THIS SM I am eating so good rn.

The part where he recognised instantly that there's something wrong with the fake Makoto instantly made me kicks my feet. I think despite Hajime's skepticalism on the real Makoto he talked to before the last trial, he just instantly knew how Makoto is from then, Makoto's way of speech is just so.. normal and he just radiates that harmless, safe aura. No matter how skilled Junko is in acting she can't really completely copy the real Makoto.

And the "common" part is so true!!! It's cause both used to be ordinary people, that they feel more comfortable despite not knowing eachother as much from before. Again, one missed and one regreted of the lost of normalcy they have before. Perhaps together, Hajime could finally appriciated and grateful of the normal life he could have had, while Makoto can still have the normalcy in his life (aside from komaru) despite the condition and his responsibility, not all was lost.

And the official art!!!! I have them in my grasp irl, that 512 pages DR1.2 reload book where half of them filled with DR1 and 2 official arts, I have them in my grasp, the way they look at eachother head in hands, they were so very close and when I first opened it I wonder if they have that in the book and there they are!!! I was so estatic!!!