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springfallendeer · 1 year

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Vent - What would you tell your old self?

I keep seeing an add going around promoting some film that I can't be bothered to look into because the add is touching on some recently reopened wounds. So I'm just kinda venting here to see if this helps get shit out of my system because its been days now and I can't keep out of my own head.

What would you tell your old self?

"As a general rule of thumb, don't trust your mom. I know you're nice. I know you don't want to argue. But just don't listen to her. By and large, don't pay your extended family any mind either."

"Your mother will not keep her promises. She works like a genie or tries to treat it like a technicality in court. If she says she will pay you for something, she will not. Her idea of paying you is to buy food you don't like so that she can say she fed you. Her idea of paying you is to go to GoodWill and buy clearance clothes you'll never wear. And when you don't wear them, she'll throw away the clothes you like so you'll have no other choice. And don't be afraid to get your things out of the garbage. The one bonus that comes with living an hour from town is that the trash stays until she needs to go somewhere. Those are your clothes. Those are your possessions. Don't let her take them. Because until you leave, that's all you get."

"See if you can stir up a stink with the folks in charge of giving out prizes for 4-H. She takes all the money you make. But you did the work. You raised the animal. She's charging you for feed when the same feed goes towards 20+ other animals that aren't yours. You're being ripped off. Try to save every cent. Don't head out into the world without a penny to your name because you stayed quiet as she took it all."

"You're going to win 22 grand your final year in 4-H. You're going to feel proud of yourself. DON'T let your mother have any of it. Not a cent. Don't let her convince you that it'll put her through butcher school so she can get a better job. Its all another lie from the mouth of a manic narcissist. She bails on school 3 hours shy of graduating and making it official. Then she refuses to get a job in that field, no matter how often you suggest it."

"Don't give her your pee. She'll bitch at you about being irresponsible in live and doing unimportant things. Make her sleep in her own bed if she's doing drugs and in a field where she'll get regularly drug tested."

"Don't share your passions with her. It will be just another means of hurting you. The nicest thing she'll ever say about your writing is that its a 'creative waste of time'. Don't ever let her find the poems or the stories you write to let the pain out. She'll hurt you with them."

"Be proud of the fact that you learned how to cook because she was not there to feed you. A surprising number of people in your age group don't cook. They don't know how."

"The skills you learn in landscaping are nifty for fun facts. But they'll bring you nothing in life unless you set out into that field. And you won't. Find something to learn about, and learn about it. Don't go into the world only knowing landscaping and animal rearing because that's all she cared to teach you. She's making you reliant on her and it will ruin you in the long run."

"Your mother beat you and its not your fault. Your mother beat you, and its not your brothers fault. It is her fault that she can't interact with her children without hurting them. Do not let her pretend she never beat you. Because she did. And you'll remember it like you remember the stranger who had to come. You'll remember needing to get naked in front of him so that he could photograph the bruises. Even if she won't."

"Your mother neglected you. She would leave you alone for hours a day, with two younger siblings, and no means of contacting her. Understand how dangerous this could have been. Understand that you were 8 years old and being abandoned for large periods of the day with a 7 year old and a 2 year old who relied upon you when she was gone. Understand that this was not okay. It made you mature. But you were 8. You had no business being in that situation and having to grow up so fast. Remember how this changed you. Because she refuses to believe that what she did was neglect."

"Your mother emotionally abused you. A mother should not resort to yelling at her children every time they mess up. A mother should not say hurtful things to her children to make them feel guilty over wants and needs. There is nothing wrong with telling her if you are thirsty. There is nothing wrong with feeling upset when she lies and takes things from you. There is nothing wrong with being upset when she destroys things you care about. There is nothing wrong with being lonely because you live in the middle of nowhere and only leave for school or forced manual labor."

"You have ADHD and Depression. You have been diagnosed with such. Don't let her try to tell you otherwise when she'll absently claim she has mental issues of her own while denying that she's bipolar. When she is, in fact, a very aggressive, unmedicated bipolar woman who meets negative stereotypes to the 2 the T."

"Don't get sad when you realize that things you once enjoyed stop being fun. All you did was realize that the fun things were just the strings that came attached to the unpleasant things she forced you to do. There's nothing wrong with hating the fair when you realize you're only at the fair because she wants you to work to make her money. There's nothing wrong with wanting to do something you enjoy without being forced to do unpleasant things first."

"Go to more adults for help. Don't be made to believe you're just acting out for attention. Maybe someone will get you away from her. You were never supposed to be stuck with her to begin with. Tell people what happens. Tell them you're alone all day. Tell them when she hits you. Tell them when she throws things or yells at you. Don't just sit in your corner all day waiting to go to your room and hide."

"Don't let the spider bite on your leg get as bad as it does. It almost kills you. And she lets it happen because she doesn't care. She'll only visit you once in the hospital and she'll be high on something."

"Don't let family hold on to your inheritance after your great grandmother dies. You won't get it at all because the bank absorbs it. Your mother will cost you more than 23 grand with her selfish behavior. Don't let her. Don't sit back and let her. 23 grand isn't a lot in the grand scheme of things, but fuck. It would have made some things so much easier when you got out of there."

"You will find people who make the holidays more bearable. They won't be your blood. But they'll be your family. You deserve to enjoy the holidays like everyone else. But don't it weigh you down when they still make you sad."

#vent #tw: abuse mentions #tw: neglect mentions

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measuringbliss · 2 months

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Spider-Man Read-Through BONUS: Marvel Team-Up 3 (#80-129)

MASTERPOST

Continuing the same concept as the first post, that is, a quick catch-up to not miss anything regarding Peter's social life.

In #80, Peter has a date with Cissy, they get attacked by a werewolf, then Peter gets a tarot reading and says Dr Strange "looks fine" by daylight, further cementing his bisexuality, and then after shenanigans, Satana, the devil's daughter arrives at Strange's house.

Folks, this on the level of "Dispayre", hahaha.

In #81, Strange is saved. Yes, he was in danger. No, I can't explain.

In #82, Spidey finds a possibly amnesiac Black Window and without warning...

I love checking out these comics and just see stuff like that. Yeah. Sure. Alright hahahahhahahahaha

Anyway, Nick Fury shoots at her and Peter.

In #83, Peter is absolutely gorgeous.

In #84, things are wild. In #85, Black Window finally gets her memory back and while her amnesiac self had feelings for Peter, this one doesn't.

#86 has the Guardians of the Galaxy. #87 whumps slightly Peter and makes him fight Black Panther and we see Gamelin and Walter, who become relevant a bit later I think. (I remember Walter because he's gorgeous. I'm not even sure I recognize the right character but whatever. I remember the name Gamelin though, but I'm not sure what his point is.)

In #88, Peter takes pictures of Sue Storm and takes the train. In #90, Spidey and Nightcrawler team up against a fake Spider-Man. In #91, Peter's still dating Cissy, "a science major" (wow, such development), but she prefers Beast (very understandable), who Peter gets jealous about (confirming once more his bisexuality), and a guy has a sick suit.

I need the same one.

In Annual 3, Peter's with Glory at an amusement park in Connecticut, which made me Google where it was. Also, Ghost Rider is there.

#92 doesn't matter. In #93, someone slays.

Peter is also very cute.

In #94, Peter has a nice outfit.

In #95, Spidey fights Mockingbird. In #96, Howard the Duck has a really bad time on Earth. #97 doesn't matter. In #98, Spidey and Black Widow team up again. In #99, Peter's still gorgeous.

Actually...

Who is this artist who draws suits so well?

Alright, alright.

In #100, there's a lot of action. In Annual 4, arms.

#101 is uninteresting.

#102 is already more involving, see below.

He also discovers that food at expensive restaurants is expensive. Yes, even the coke.

In #103, there's a teddy bear!

That is not an appropriate outfit in front of your daughter, sir.

homosexuality.

#104 and 105 don't feature Peter. In #106, Peter meets Steve Rogers!

I talked about #107 in another post, it has She-Hulk. In #108 and #109, Spidey fights Paladin, who has very flamboyant hair. In #110, Spidey teams up with Iron Man. In the next issues, we see Dazzler, the Lightmaster...

In #115, Peter roleplays Grey's Anatomy when a hideous creatures arrives.

Peter also has a crisis of faith. It happens.

In #118, Professor X most likely knows Spidey's secret identity.

In #120, May forces Peter to sing in front of a dozen of old people so they can make fun of him. In #121, we have...

homosexuality.

And a dapper man.

In #124, Peter keeps getting bullied by geriatrics.

This is adorable.

Annual 6 gives very important lore.

In #126, Peter and Bruce Banner are besties.

homosexuality.

In #127, I love seeing Peter getting bullied by seniors.

Oh, I can guard Peter's rear...

This is actually a really nice tale. The Watcher wants to bring a granddaughter back to her grandfather, and enlists Peter's help.

"Finis" is even worse, but go off I guess!

In #128, Peter apparently has new friends, Roger Hochberg and Mia Carrera, who're maybe dating, it's not too clear. He also sees Steve Rogers again.

Girl what the heck.

Black Cat's in the hospital, Peter. Because Doc Ock almost killed her. And it's very clear that you're in love with her. What are you doing?

(He's poly, he's poly, he's poly! I need to write a poly fic, don't I?)

In #129, we see Einstein.

(He's actually a clone of Mark Twain. Sure.)

#peter parker #spider-man #comics #comic books

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cagemasterfantasy · 3 months

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Goblin Class Rankings and Features (5e)

Guide

1=do not play this class as this race

2=can play but not recommended

3=decent choice

4=perfect

Volo's Guide to Monsters

Goblins occupy an uneasy place in a dangerous world, and they react by lashing out at any creatures they believe they can bully. Cunning in battle and cruel in victory, goblins are fawning and servile in defeat.

Ability Score Increase. Your Dexterity score increases by 2, and your Constitution score increases by 1.

Age. Goblins reach adulthood at age 8 and live up to 60 years.

Alignment. Goblins are typically neutral evil, as they care only for their own needs. A few goblins might tend toward good or neutrality, but only rarely.

Size. Goblins are between 3 and 4 feet tall and weigh between 40 and 80 pounds. Your size is Small.

Speed. Your base walking speed is 30 feet.

Darkvision. You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light, and in darkness as if it were dim light. You can't discern color in darkness, only shades of gray.

Fury of the Small. When you damage a creature with an attack or a spell and the creature's size is larger than yours, you can cause the attack or spell to deal extra damage to the creature. The extra damage equals your level. Once you use this trait, you can't use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

Nimble Escape. You can take the Disengage or Hide action as a bonus action on each of your turns.

Languages. You can speak, read, and write Common and Goblin.

Mordenkainen Presents: Monsters of the Multiverse

A subterranean folk, goblins can be found in every corner of the multiverse, often beside their bugbear and hobgoblin kin. Long before the god Maglubiyet conquered them, early goblins served in the court of the Queen of Air and Darkness, one of the Feywild’s archfey. Goblins thrived in her dangerous domain thanks to a special boon from her—a supernatural knack for finding the weak spots in foes larger than themselves and for getting out of trouble. Goblins brought this fey boon with them to worlds across the Material Plane, even if they don’t remember the fey realm they inhabited before Maglubiyet’s rise. Now many goblins pursue their own destinies, escaping the plots of both archfey and gods.

Ability Score Increase. When determining your character’s ability scores, increase one score by 2 and increase a different score by 1, or increase three different scores by 1. You can't raise any of your scores above 20.

Creature Type. You are a Humanoid. You are also considered a goblinoid for any prerequisite or effect that requires you to be a goblinoid.

Size. You are Small.

Speed. Your walking speed is 30 feet.

Darkvision. You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light and in darkness as if it were dim light. You discern colors in that darkness only as shades of gray.

Fey Ancestry. You have advantage on saving throws you make to avoid or end the charmed condition on yourself.

Fury of the Small. When you damage a creature with an attack or a spell and the creature’s size is larger than yours, you can cause the attack or spell to deal extra damage to the creature. The extra damage equals your proficiency bonus.

You can use this trait a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, regaining all expended uses when you finish a long rest, and you can use it no more than once per turn.

Nimble Escape. You can take the Disengage or Hide action as a bonus action on each of your turns.

Languages. Your character can speak, read, and write Common and one other language that you and your DM agree is appropriate for the character. The Player’s Handbook offers a list of languages to choose from. The DM is free to modify that list for a campaign.

Volo Goblin

Artificer 1 no Intelligence increase and even martial Artificers will build around Intelligence

Barbarian 1 no Strength increase

Bard 2 You could make a martially-inclined Bard build work but you’re going to be bad at spellcasting due to the lack of a Charisma increase

Cleric 1 no Wisdom increase

Druid 1 no Wisdom increase. Fury of the Small would absolutely work while using Wild Shape so you could turn into something tiny and use it on small creatures but that’s not nearly enough

Fighter 4 Fighter is among Goblin’s best options. Dexterity and Consitutiton are perfect for any Dexterity-based Fighter builds and with numerous attacks you have plenty of opportunties to apply Fury of the Small. Nimble Escape makes it easy to employ hit-and-run tactics which can be useful for tactically positioning yourself or for playing a ranged build if you’re worried about being pulled into melee

Monk 3 Dexterity and Constitution are great for Monk and unlike most small races Goblin still gets 30 ft. speed. Fury of the Small will be easy to apply even at low levels thanks to Martial Arts and Flurry of Blows but Nimble Escape competes for your Bonus Action which is in high demand for Monk

Paladin 3 much like Fighter Paladin can make effective use of Goblin’s traits. While you don’t get a Charisma increase starting with 14 or 15 Charisma is absolutely viable for Paladin

Ranger 4 arguably a better fit for Goblin if only because there’s no redundant features Ranger is a competent Scout and Striker and the Goblin’s traits line up nicely to support any Ranger build. Nimble Escape allows you to easily perform hit-and-run tactics or to snipe in ways which would normally require a Rogue dip or casting Zephyr Strike

Rogue 3 thematically an excellent option but Nimble Escape replicates 2 of the 3 functions of Cunning Action so one of Rogue’s most interesting features is mostly redundant at level 1. Combining Sneak Attack and Fury of the Small is a great combination but remember that it’s still only once per rest

Sorcerer 1 no Charisma increase

Warlock 1 same as Sorcerer

Wizard 1 no Intelligence increase

Mordenkainen Goblin

Artificer 4 Nimble Escape is great for any Artificer. For melee Artificers attack with Booming Blade then use Nimble Escape to move out of reach. You can even apply Fury of the Small on the secondary damage from Booming Blade which is lots of fun. This is partially achievable with Boots of the Winding Path but since they only allow you to return to a space you were previously in during your turn they don’t help if you start your turn in melee

Barbarian 2 Barbarians don’t really need the damage boost from Fury of the Small but it doesn’t hurt. Nimble Escape isn’t particularly useful since running away isn’t a go-to option for Barbarian

Bard 3 Bards don’t have a lot of direct damage options so Fury of the Small is a welcome addition. Bards are also frail so Nimble Escape is a useful defensive option potentially making martial bards considerably more effective (though you’ll still struggle due to weak weapon attacks)

Cleric 3 Clerics have no shortage of damage options to deliver Fury of the Small and Nimble Escape allows you to safely walk through melee combat to deliver spells with touch range (Cure Wounds, Revivify, etc.) or to get into a good position for spells like Word of Radiance and Spirit Guardians

Druid 4 Fury of the Small and Nimble Escape both work during Wild Shape making a Circle of the Moon Goblin a very interesting choice. Animals which have powerful charge options like Elk and Rhinoceros can move away and charge back into melee within the same turn making such forms considerably more effective. Other Druid subclass may still enjoy the ability to safely run out of melee without spending their Action to Disengage

Fighter 4 Fighter can do a lot by combining Nimble Escape with their Fighter’s abundant space for feats. Nimble Escape allows you to safely move out of and through enemies’ reach making it easy to position yourself advantageously. By combining this with feats like Polearm and Sentinel you can repeatedly make Opportunity Attacks as enemies move to re-engage you. However without the ability to use a polearm with reach effectively (they all have the Heavy trait) enemies will still be able to attack you

Monk 2 Monk works fine but Nimble Escape is redundant with what you can do by spending Ki so Goblin’s traits don’t feel special or useful

Paladin 2 Fury of the Small and Nimble Escape both work fine for Paladin but Paladin generally isn’t built for hit-and-run tactics and often struggles to fit feats into their build so you can’t use similar tactics to Fighter

Ranger 3 typically less durable than Fighter Ranger can do a lot with Nimble Escape where normally you might require Zephyr Strike or the Mobile feat. Several subclasses do well with hit-and-run tactics or with rapidly moving between targets such as a melee Hunter with Hordebreaker

Rogue 2 Nimble Escape is completely wasted on Rogue. Fury of the Small is nice but not enough to be the only novel thing that you get from your race

Sorcerer 2 a damage boost from Fury of the Small and you’ll never get stuck in melee again thanks to Nimble Escape. Of course you can get out of melee using spells like Misty Step

Warlock 3 same as Sorcerer

Wizard 3 same as Sorcerer and Warlock

#dnd rankings #race rankings #goblin

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izupie · 6 years

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100 Relatable Writer Things

(Courtesy of the creative writers from the Kacchako Discord server. We suffer together fam.)

doesn't write for 84 years

starts a billion things, no time to finish or update

daydreaming about writing

thinks about writing in shower, has no writing utensils

about to fall asleep, sudden motivation and inspiration

stuck at dayjob, pure, unadulterated motivation and inspiration

arrives home too tired to write

sits down at computer to write, spends two hours on the internet doing everything except writing

listening to music and it slows your writing to a snail's pace.

accidentally write the lyrics instad of dialogue

ignore typos

your Internet sucks and you can't connect to Google docs for a day.

trying to write angst only to slowly turn it into fluff

you remember you have pets and wanna cuddle them over writing

you have a carefully written plan, that all of your characters are ignoring and start going in directions you are unprepared for

your characters do what they want, fuck u

you realize you wrote a plot point too early and then mash the delete button.

you bingewatch a sitcom and plan all of these everyday aus and don't write any of them and demolish ice cream in the dark instead

you stare at your screen after doing nothing for an hour and the whole time you are internally screaming.

you open your story document and suddenly realise the bookshelf in your room needs alphabetising

you look back at the manga for reference but end up just rereading the manga

you fantasize about your characters and blush because they're so attractive

you realise you've been making weird expressions at your screen while you've been typing

the people around you have also noticed.

people wonder if you are okay in public settings writing angst

you brainstorm amazing ideas for your fic as you sleep but when you wake up you don't remember shit

having idea bouncing buddies to help with your au and end up creating a separate au

getting aus mixed

finding somewhere to write smut where nobody will accidentally look over your shoulder

you write smut in public but you're so tired that you don't care who sees anymore

doing dumb shit like "bakugou looked at bakugou" and publishing it

you finish writing a chapter and look over your outline only to learn you skipped doing a scene.

try to quickly edit things, end up combing through chapter again

lots of picture refs for characters

forgetting your time scale while writing. how much time has passed? idk man

writing a one shot that becomes a 20k multichap

hitting 4k a chapter and crying it's not enough

hitting 19k a chapter and thinking, "maybe I can do more."

wondering if word count its too short/long

just crying. in general.

intending to write an epic slow burn and dropping it two chapters in for another idea

having a fully written arc expecting 10 chapts but with editing it becomes 7 chapts somehow

wanting to write a slow burn but getting so excited to get to the big part you just say fuck it

having so much of an au build up that you are excited for that it unintentionally becomes slowburn

intending to write a serious fic but you don't want to put the characters in any more pain than they canonically are so you turn them all into major goofballs

OR character didn't get enough pain canonically and it was supposed to be funny story

writing angst and pain because you're a masochist

love watching readers cry

taking pleasure in watching them cry

blasting meme music in your ears as your readers scream at you about breaking their hearts

hoping for fanart

teasing spoilers bc you want validation

running from rabid readers

sometimes you write for an hour and have done 500 words. Other times you blink and 3k words are suddenly there.

having a decent steady schedule or becoming spastic update qween, there is no in between. Bonus points if you do separate fics like this

watching a movie, inserting characters for yet another au

taking polls what to update next

never listening to the polls you create

making a schedule and sticking to it. Your fans think your organized but it's more like controlled chaos.

motivated to do something but what?

literally buying a journal with goals and a tentative update schedule so you can keep your ass in check

not using said journal bc lazy

having monthly updates but writing more than half of it in the last week.

WHAT THE FUCK DO I TITLE IT

what's editing

can someone edit my stuff pls

writing the title of the chapter and then nothing else that day.

write, no edits, only write. Cry

69...

setting a day to respond to comments. forget

stare at comments with awe and fear

wordvomit, keyboard smash

comments are life

kudos are resurrected life

holy shit a bookmark???????

holy shit someone recced me

wanting to share but don't want to be annoying

wanna collab?

surfing tumblr for writing refs bc your english sucks

i love dialogue~

i hate dialogue

does this sOUND NATURAL THO

is this too descriptive or not enough?

how do i describe this place i've never been to

have i used [blank word] too much?

more pic refs

said is too plain, but they're not doing anything but sitting and talking

does this smell description sound too fanficcy?

having a color bible

is this ooc?

how would you describe a <____> hitting the <___> floor?

how do i describe violence accurately

how many followers/readers will i lose to this

what does <___> pain feel like?

compare yourself to other popular writers

what are you writing has several word docs open

googling stuff that makes you sound like a murderer for rESEARCH

staring at your phone praying someone reviews it soon

how do i write texts or IMs

having that one follower who always comments

BONUS: Is it truly finished or am I just sick of writing it

#writer problems #relatable writing stuff #writing mood #writing #writers #writing shitpopst #writing memes #writing problems #fanfiction #fanfiction problems #fanfiction moods #writer stuff #omg I nearly accidentally refreshed the page while I did this #BONUS BONUS: remember to save your writing folks

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gravelyhumerus · 4 years

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Criminal Minds College AU - Chapter 3

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Title: “I may just take your breath away”

Relationship: Jemily

Summary:

It's midterm season and Emily runs into JJ at the library, they decide to study together.

Slow-burn Jemily college AU where they live across the hall and despite all odds, the universe pushes them together. AKA they’re silly gay babies who pine after each other for months.

Read it on AO3

Tumblr: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, (bonus scene), Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Epilogue

There were no seats left in this entire goddamned library. Not a single one. Emily was on her second lap on the third floor, desperate for somewhere to sit down and have some peace and quiet to study for her test. She should have assumed this would happen. It was midterm season and the libraries were packed with students around this time each year.

She quietly made her way through the stacks and came upon a long, rectangular table near the back window. It overlooked a dark parking lot. The books were gigantic tombs of old academic journals that no one had probably even opened in decades.

There were eight seats and seven people, with one selfish asshole storing their backpack on the empty seat. Well, could be saving it for their friend, but with it being midterm season, those rules really shouldn’t apply anymore.

Emily braced herself and, with a smile, tapped the boy on the shoulder.

He had a large pair of headphones on. He lifted one side off his ear in a gesture of: ‘what do you want.’

“Is anyone sitting there?” She whispered, as quietly as she could, pointing to the seat next to him.

“Oh sorry,” he said, somewhat reluctantly, moving the coat and bag, inviting her to join him. She smiled in thanks and sat down.

Carefully unpacking her laptop and books, Emily tried to avoid disturbing the other folks at her table, the silence making each noise she made boom through the library. She settled down and pulled out her thermos, taking a sip of her coffee and bracing herself for a long night.

Her core classes for psychology were brutal, filled with endless memorization of terminology, stacks of mandatory books to read and countless essays.

At 8:30 the next morning it was her Introduction to Clinical Psychology midterm, worth a whopping thirty percent of her grade. She spent the entire day, between classes, at the Starbucks on campus, drinking her way through her student funds in coffee form and making endless flashcards.

She already had a stack of almost one hundred cards and she still had a couple hours of work left.

Just returning from dinner at the cafeteria, Emily had decided that she needed the relative quiet of the massive campus library to focus on the memorization period of her evening.

She flipped to the right page of her textbook: page 315, with a large header reading “SEXUAL DISORDERS” in large caps. Emily sighed, it was a strange thing to spend her time learning but at least it never failed to be interesting.

At least she wasn’t in Statistics this semester.

Emily took another sip of coffee, then rummaged through her bag for her wireless headphones, connecting them to her phone in order to play her studying playlist, which was mostly movie soundtracks, interspersed with Emily’s favourite classical music and of course, some lo-fi hip hop beats. She could not listen to music with words when studying, she would get too distracted and get nothing done.

Emily began gnawing at her thumbnail, focusing on writing down the definitions.

After around two hours of writing, Emily finally finished her flashcards. She stretched her back, closed her textbook, and went on her phone for a short break.

A Snapchat notification popped up on her screen.

Cheetobreath98 added you as a friend.

Emily frowned. Who on earth was that? Emily clicked on the profile, revealing the familiar face of Jennifer Jareau.

JJ had added her as a friend! On snapchat no less! That was at least three steps more intimate than Instagram.

Woah. Slow down there Em. She told herself. Don’t make it something it’s not.

They kept running into each other. JJ was probably just being friendly. She probably just wanted to say thank you for the cookies or send her funny snaps of the other students on their floor.

She has a boyfriend, a boyfriend she is having trouble with, but a boyfriend nonetheless. You can’t go around thinking about intimacy and Jennifer Jareau in the same sentence.

Emily accepted the friend request. Did that make them friends now? Emily hoped so. They could be friends.

As Emily stared at their chat, a new snap from JJ came in. Emily couldn’t help herself, she opened it immediately and she was met with a photo… of herself.

Emily’s head shot up looking around. She looked back down and it was clearly a photo of Emily, hunched over the desk with her head resting on her chin, staring down at her phone, taken from somewhere to her left.

JJ waved at her from between some books. Emily shot her a surprised smile in response.

She closed her laptop, stood, and walked over to her.

“Creeper,” Emily whispered with a giggle.

JJ had a large textbook and some notebooks in her arms, and a backpack hanging off one shoulder, and leaned in towards Emily to speak quietly, which let Emily catch the light, fruity smell of her perfume, blending nicely with the earthy smell of the old books around them.

“Guilty as charged,” JJ smiled.

“What are you working on?” Emily asked, gesturing at her heavy load, she leaned and took a peek at the title of the textbook.

“French,” JJ said, “It’s hard to bullshit that when you don’t know it. I’ve got a midterm tomorrow.”

“Bien sûr,” Emily replied confidently in French.

JJ blinked.

“Tu parles Français?” JJ’s French was shaky and uncertain, with less of an accent than Emily would expect.

Emily coughed quietly and tried to clear her throat.

“I do,” she replied in French, “I’ve been told that when I was a toddler, I was speaking it more fluently than English.”

JJ glanced down, seeming to be translating her words for a brief moment before replying, slowly, clearly excited to use Emily for practise.

“Are you French?”

“No,” Emily said, “My mom wasn’t around much when we were living in France and the nanny didn’t speak English.”

“Ton nurse?” JJ asked, not knowing the definition of ‘nanny’ in French.

“Oh uh,” Emily replied in English, ��My nanny, the lady who watched me when my mom was working. She’s an ambassador.”

JJ nodded, then switched to English. She didn’t ask about Emily’s dad, which Emily was grateful for.

“My family is French, originally I guess,” JJ said, “Hence Jareau , the French name. I remember my grandparents speaking it when I was growing up. I only learned a few words from them so I thought I’d take a course here. I need language courses for my communications degree anyways.”

“Your French is good!” Emily assured her. “Honestly mine is getting rusty, I have no one to practise on.”

“Well,” JJ said between coughs, “you could tutor me?”

Emily smiled. An opportunity to spend more time with her? She would take it. She nodded.

“Mais oui!” Emily replied in her most dramatic accent that she could manage, sending both girls into a fit of giggles.

“Shhhhh!” Someone at Emily’s table hissed.

The two girls made eye contact, then burst into another fit of giggles.

“I have a study room booked for nine,” JJ said, “If you want to join me.”

“Absolutely,” Emily replied, “I have a midterm tomorrow as well, so I’ll be here for awhile.”

“Allons-y!” JJ whisper-yelled.

Emily collected her things and followed JJ into a room down the hall, tucked behind the stacks. Inside, was a desk, a couple of white boards and a small window facing into the quad. It was small, with only two chairs. It was shocking that JJ even managed to snag that, the booking system filled up days in advance during midterm season.

“I hate whispering,” Emily said at normal volume once the door was shut.

“Libraries are supposed to be quiet,” JJ said.

“I’ve never been good at quiet.”

JJ laughed.

Emily sat down next to her, stealing a glance at JJ while she was distracted: she had a pair of track pants, with a loose fitted t-shirt on top, a pastel blue which complemented her skin tone well. On top, she had her varsity hoodie unzipped, with their school’s crest on display. She looked good, as always, despite being in basically athletic sweats looking ready to go to the gym at any moment.

Emily placed her books down next to JJ at the table, stacking her flash cards neatly next to it. JJ’s eyes widened at the sight of the pile.

“You don’t have to help if you don’t have time,” JJ said, “Honestly I would just appreciate the company.”

“Nonsense,” Emily replied, “I’d be happy to help. I’ve been working on these flash cards all day, I need a break anyways. How ‘bout we work through your practise sheets, then you quiz me after? What’s your test on?”

“Conjugation,” JJ replied, flipping her notes open to a page full of irregular verbs and their conjugations.

“Oh sweet,” Emily scanned the notes, “Present tense, I can do this.”

Emily leaned back in her chair, pulling her feet up to sit crossed-legged.

“I was worried you were going to ask me the difference between plus-que-parfait and subjonctif or something.”

“I don’t even know what that is.”

“Lucky,” Emily said.

JJ then reached into her bag, pulling out a small case and revealing a pair of glasses—reading glasses—and put them onto her face. They were gold rimmed, round framed, and made her eyes slightly larger with the magnification.

“You-” Emily stuttered, her brain feeling like it was short circuiting at the sight of JJ, “Have glasses?”

“Yeah,” JJ muttered flipping through her notebook, “I don’t really need them but I’ve been staring at screens all day and my eyes are tired.”

“Nerd,” Emily fake-coughs. JJ’s draw drops and she hits Emily playfully with her notebook, whacking her on the arm lightly.

“You promised to help me, not mock me for my bad eyes,” JJ huffs.

“Ok fine let’s conjugate… hmmm… ‘voir’ to start,” Emily jokes, spinning her pen between her fingers.

“I know you’re kidding but I actually don’t know that one.”

Emily grins and begins explaining to her how to conjugate ‘to see’ in French.

“Now,” Emily says, “If you want to talk about how I can see, and you can’t—because you’re blind—you would write: Emily voit. Emily sees.”

“Elle voit? V-o-i-t?”

“Oui, et, Jennifer ne voit pas!” Emily giggles, “Jennifer does not see!”

“Ha-ha,” JJ says, not laughing.

“Sorry, I’ll stop now,” Emily says, picking up the worksheet and reading it over.

“Basically,” JJ says, “I need to just memorize this list of common irregular verbs by tomorrow. I already have the regular er, ir and re verbs down.”

“Cocky girl,” Emily said. “I like it.”

“Ok what verb should we start with?”

“Vouloir,” Emily said, “to want.”

The deeper meaning of this was not lost on her, even as she said it. Emily was far past the point of denying it to herself, or Morgan when he teased her, Emily wanted JJ.

“Start with je,” Emily continued, unfazed by her own internal monologue. “What do you want?”

“Je veux… un biscuit,” JJ said, sticking her pen in her mouth. She was so cute when she focused, chewing distractedly on the cap, with her glasses falling down her nose.

“Now what would I want?” Emily prompted, trying to focus back on the worksheet and not JJ in profile, gazing at the gentle slope of her nose, her pink lips that would probably taste like chapstick.

“Tu veux du thé?” JJ grinned, evoking their previous late-night hang out.

“Oui,” Emily smiled, “I could definitely use some of your tea right now. Stuck with coffee for now though. I need the caffeine.”

They continued through that verb, moving down her list and covering aller, mettre, venir, before cycling back to the most important ones to make sure JJ had them memorized. Covering lots of ground, the two girls spent almost two hours straight working through her midterm prep booklet.

“Thanks so much for helping,” JJ said. “Maybe you could tutor me again sometime.”

Emily grinned. Maybe it was just tutoring but that meant hours alone with her and her pretty face and her laugh and the way she smelled like warm vanilla.

“Whenever you need me!”

“Je suis excité!” JJ said, in French, which was definitely not what she aimed to say.

Emily began to laugh. Hard. It started as a giggle but the sheer ridiculousness of her situation made it so much funnier. Her crush just looked her in the eyes and told her she was horny.

“What?!” JJ demanded, nervously laughing at Emily’s reaction.

“Oh gosh I’m sorry,” Emily tried to calm down, to hold in her laughs. “In French we never say excité. It does not mean excited.”

“What does it mean?”

“JJ you just said that you were horny,” Emily made out between laughs. It must be the lack of sleep that made the simple mistake so much funnier.

“Emily!” JJ laughed, “don’t laugh at me I didn’t know!”

Emily’s laughter was infectious and before long the two girls were lost in a fit of giggles.

“You should say: ‘J’ai hâte!’” Emily said eventually, “it means I can’t wait. Like: J’ai hâte d'étudier avec toi. Or Je suis ravi. Or impatiente. Just don’t go around telling people how horny you are.”

“Fine,” JJ said, with a slight pout, “ J’ai hâte. ”

Emily nodded.

“I guess I can say I learned something today,” JJ murmured, “I guess it really is the language of love.”

Emily didn’t say anything, taking a sip of her cold coffee to muffle the squeak threatening to come out of her throat

“So,” JJ changed the subject, “gimme your flash cards. What are you learning?”

Before Emily could earn her, JJ flipped over the first card which read: ‘SEXUAL DISORDERS!’ in Emily’s messy script.

“On the same theme,” JJ murmured.

And so for the next hour, JJ and Emily made their way through her psychology flash cards, slowly making sure that Emily had the endless serious mental health disorders, personality disorders and other terms memorized before her midterm.

Luckily, In the process of writing them down, and due to her religious commitment to attending lectures, Emily had already retained most of them. Studying with JJ did help, because it forced her to explain some of the concepts in plain language, which, she found, furthered her understanding.

Moreover, JJ had brought snacks. Which made studying every more doable when she could award herself with an m&m for each correct answer.

The thing was, half way through Emily’s stack of cards, and as the night crept on, JJ’s energy crashed as the girl’s body decided that it was way past her bedtime and that she should be asleep.

Unlike Emily, JJ was clearly not a night owl.

Eventually, Emily finished up her studying alone, discovering that the blonde was just about useless, as she read out gibberish and expected Emily to understand her. JJ finally fell asleep sitting up at about one-thirty in the morning. Emily decided to leave her be as she still needed to jot a few things down.

“JJ?” Emily murmured after a few minutes, poking the other girl with her pen. “JJ? Wake up.”

“Mm?” JJ murmured, her eyes still closed shut, her head heavy resting on her hand. She was adorable.

“I’m calling it,” Emily said, closing her textbook. “It’s almost two. We’ve studied enough.”

“Mmm… yeah I don’t know if I can fit any more French in my brain,” JJ rubbed her eyes.

“I think you’ll do just fine!”

They packed up their things, bundling up against the cold fall air. JJ went through the motions with her eyes half shut, allowing Emily to guide her out of their study room, down the spiral staircase and into the lobby.

Unfortunately, as they stood just inside the library door, the clouds broke, sending rain pouring down onto campus. Sighing at their poor timing, they pulled their hoods over their hair in an attempt to stay relatively dry.

They walked home, laughing as it rained down onto them.

JJ seemed to wake up and her prior drowsiness seemed to fade into the night sky. She giggled as she splashed in a puddle, and her yellow jacket lit up under a street lamp.

Emily grinned, feeling elated in her exhaustion. How lucky she was! Splashing in the rain with JJ, which was a strange yet pleasant ending to what had promised to be a dredge of an evening. JJ waited for a moment, letting Emily catch out before grasping onto Emily’s hand and holding on, pulling her through the rain.

They tore through the torrential downpour, their hands clasped together, unbothered by the cold as the fiery feeling of JJ’s hand in her own had her full attention. A warm feeling filled her chest as she thought about how it was JJ who wanted to hold Emily’s hand.

Not caring whether it was just a friendly hand hold, or if it meant more, Emily’s heart soared.

JJ’s hand was smaller than hers, and their fingers fell together perfectly, comfortably linked like they were built to do so.

They only let go once they reached the door to their building, as Emily fumbled with the wet metal key ring in her pocket, unlocking the front door and offering the two relief from the rain.

They lingered in the hall, both damp, looking at each other as the tiredness returned and settled into their bones. Emily could see the bags under JJ’s eyes, the exhaustion clear on her face. Her cheeks were flushed from running through the rain and her blonde hair wet and tangled from the wind.

A voice in Emily’s head demanded that she reach out her hands, firmly grab the sides of JJ’s perfect face and kiss her then and there. It would be so perfect, their lips would meet and JJ would rest her hands on Emily’s hips. She would pull her in close and their bodies would crash into each other, fitting together perfectly. Emily’s tongue would graze against JJ’s lips, and their kiss would deepen until finally they would pull apart and-

“Goodnight, Emily,” JJ said, smiling at her sweetly, “Get some sleep before your midterm.”

Emily was brought crashing back into reality.

“Oh,” Emily said, “Yeah you too, you need it.”

“Thank you for helping me out,” JJ continued, “I was having a really bad day and you really made me feel a lot better.”

JJ looked down.

“Yeah, uh, this morning I broke up with Will. Or maybe he broke up with me. I don’t know,” she admitted, “and with the midterm… then the home game tomorrow afternoon...“

She sighed.

“It was a long day and I’m grateful for your company.”

Kiss her, the voice in her head screamed, do it!

“I’m sorry about your break up, either way,” Emily said sincerely. “I feel the same way. I mean, I enjoyed your company. I think I’m going to do well on my midterm too.”

She smiled at JJ who returned it sleepily. Emily kicked herself for the awkward phrasing but blamed the fact that it was late at night and she was processing the fact that her crush was single. Single and had held her hand.

“Bonne chance demain,” Emily said with a wave, wishing JJ luck.

They looked at each other for another moment, before turning and unlocking their individual rooms. That night, Emily dreamt of Paris, cookies and the girl across the hall.

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livinglikearoyal · 5 years

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K-drama Recommendations: Nov. 2019

One of you asked for some K-Drama recommendations and here you are! Keep in mind that I watched some of these quite a while ago so the plot isn’t as fresh in my mind as I’d like. I tried to keep the list to K-dramas that are fairly easy to find either on Netflix or Hulu. I’d love to hear your opinions on these and any recommendations you have for me! Also, these aren’t necessarily in any sort of order...but I will say the top 10 that were described are ones that I will probably rewatch at some point because I enjoyed them so much.

Chicago Typewriter (Netflix)

Summary: This one is hard to summarize without giving away the storyline. It follows a group of three characters through two eras: the 1930s Japanese occupation of Korea and then the present timeline. The characters’ reincarnated selves are brought together seemingly by fate and struggle to find out the truth of the past lives.

Why I liked it: Netflix almost did me dirty on this one. The summary and preview that popped up were not intriguing to me at all. However, it said I’d be interested in this (98%) so I figured I’d give it a shot. Boy...was this a journey. I absolutely fell in love with the characters and I loved how there wasn’t a “weak link” in the trio. They all brought something unique and important to the dynamic of the show. The acting is spectacular and they really allowed these characters to grow. The storyline can be predictable at times...but how they get there is unexpected. The ending had me in happy tears. 10/10 will watch again!

Romance is a Bonus Book (Netflix)

Summary: This kdrama follows Kang Dani, a 30-something mother, and her journey to find herself after a divorce. She reenters the workforce after being a housewife and finds herself at a popular publishing company as a temporary worker (I believe it was an internship). This company just happens to have one of her childhood friends as one of the co-owners and editors-in-chief. That doesn’t make it any easier on her and the series follows her through the hardships and triumphs of finding her independence.

Why I liked it: The title says it all. The romance is just the cherry on top for this storyline. It really follows Kang Dani and looks at all of the challenges that people of various demographics face: single parents, “older” individuals trying to find a job after a time away (and while competing with the younger folks), women in general, etc. I was going through a bit of a quarter-life crisis when I stumbled upon this...questioning my job, my love life (or lack thereof), the expectations that I was facing...and it really helped ease a lot of the anxiety. Plus, Kang Dani and Cha Eunho are absolutely adorable working alongside each other. The ending credits of the final episode got me too. This is the one that I couldn’t help to rave about to my coworkers that have never watched a kdrama in their lives.

Strong Girl Do Bong-Soon (Netflix)

Summary: Bong-Soon was born with superhuman strength like the other women in her family and she aspires to become a video game creator--making a game with a strong female character like herself. In real life, she tries to be more “girly” and “delicate” but it doesn’t always work. One thing leads to another and she finds herself hired as a bodyguard to the CEO(?) of a video game company and also tries to find a kidnapper that is threatening her neighborhood.

Why I liked it: Strong female lead...duh! :) But in all honesty, I don’t remember all of the details from this one as I watched it a long while ago. I remember it being funny, sweet, inspiring and suspenseful. I loved the main three characters too!

Hello, My Twenties (Netflix)

Summary: A group of female college students learns and grows while living together. Each character has their own backstory, secrets, and hardships. The five bond through the various hardships, traumas, and successes that come their way.

Why I liked it: 5 strong women finding their way in the world. They struggle with so many realistic things: temptations, poverty, insecurities in their love life, an apartment ghost, an attractive neighbor. It was a fun and heartfelt journey. Realistic. You can definitely learn something from this one! Once again, my single self enjoyed that it wasn’t relying on a love story to draw the plot forward also.

The Smile Has Left Your Eyes (Hulu)

Summary: Kim Moo Young has lived a traumatic life and is rolling with the punches. He has also forgotten many of his childhood memories. When he happens upon Jung So Min, he doesn’t think anything of it. They grow on each other and eventually enter a relationship, much to the disapproval of her brother, a homicide detective. He believes Kim Moo Young is more sinister than he lets on.

Why I liked it: Just looking at clips/photos/quotes from this drama still tugs on my heartstrings. This one made me an emotional MESS. Seo In Guk is PHENOMENAL as Moo Young. Absolutely phenomenal. His character is so cold and detached--flawed--but he still makes the viewer connect with him. The storyline could be cliche (amnesia, secrets, etc), but they execute it so well. Each episode is a cliff-hanger and you get so emotionally invested in the characters, Moo Young especially, that you just stay up all night binging it...knowing that you are on a train that is heading straight for heartbreak. I will definitely rewatch when I’m in my feelings.

One Spring Night (Netflix)

Summary: Lee Jung-In is a librarian who happens to meet Yoo Jiho at the pharmacy where she buys a remedy to her hangover but forgets her wallet. He tells her to pay him back later and pays for a taxi. She is in a long-term relationship with a very well-off gentleman and is battling with pressure to get married from both her family and her significant other, but she has her doubts. This meeting with Yoo Jiho makes her question marriage even more as she begins to fall for him. Another issue, he is a single father and is looked down upon by their society and her family because of it.

Why I liked it: I always love a show where they go against the norms. I fell in love with Yoo Jiho immediately and his son even more so. It is real. The conversations are thought-provoking. The love is sweet.

Just Between Lovers (a.k.a. Rain or Shine) (Netflix)

Summary: Two individuals who lost their loved ones in a tragic mall collapse meet each other after there is news that a new mall is being built in the same location. Lee Gang-Doo was an aspiring soccer player when he lost his father (a construction worker) in the mall collapse and his legs were injured, ruining his dream. He has become a bit of a “bad boy”. Ha Moon-Soo was at the mall with her younger sister when it collapsed. Ha Moon-Soo survived; her sister did not. The two characters find out that their lives are more interwoven than they thought and work to figure out how they can stop another traumatic event from happening in the same location.

Why I liked it: It had mystery. It had trauma. It had love. These two main characters are complete opposites on the outside but their traumas bring them together and they make an awesome team. Another one that really tugs on your heartstrings!

Black (Netflix)

Summary: Black is a detective possessed by the Grim Reaper. Ha-Ram can see shadows of death. These two struggle to save the lives of people, breaking the rules of heaven. (from AsianWiki)

Why I liked it: It has been quite a while since I watched this one. It was my first Korean mystery show. This is one that you can’t watch when you are distracted...you need to have your eyes on the screen at all times or you are going to miss something important. It was suspenseful and interesting. I’m not sure if it is one I will rewatch, but it is definitely worth the first time!

Vagabond (Netflix)

Summary: This is a newer addition to Netflix. Cha Dalgun is a stuntman that has taken in his nephew after he was abandoned by his mother. Their relationship becomes strained as his nephew begins to see how much Cha Dalgun hadn’t wanted a child before him and doesn’t have the finances to live a prosperous life. When his nephew dies in a tragic plane crash alongside the rest of his soccer team, we begin to see how much the boy meant to Cha Dalgun. When some video clips shared on the cloud make Dalgun suspect malicious intent in the plane crash, our story begins. He meets Go Haeri, a member of the NIS, when the bereaved families fly in to collect their deceased loved ones. A story of political corruption, big business, terrorism, doubt, and crime-fighting ensues.

Why I liked it: This one isn’t completed on Netflix yet so I don’t know the ending, but it is definitely suspenseful and you find yourself trying to figure it all out and cheering on or booing at the characters. The characters of Cha Dalgun and Go Haeri both won my heart early on and now I’m hoping their ship sails! Each episode leaves you on the edge of you seat.

Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung (Netflix)

Summary: Goo Hae Ryung is still single in her late twenties and is seen as a sort of misfit as she seeks knowledge rather than a husband. She becomes a female historian in the Joseon Dynasty. Prince Yirim has been living a life away from society, writing love stories that are popular but forbidden by the government. The two happen upon each other in a book store where she speaks poorly of his writing/genre. As they come to be familiar with each other through their positions, they work to uncover the secrets that the rulers would prefer to keep hidden.

Why I liked it: The cast of characters is spectacular. While Hae Ryung and Yirim are the leads, there are so many supporting characters that catch your attention and win over your heart or make you absolutely hate them. They also aren’t all the boring, simple, support characters. They are so complex that this seems more like a slice of life piece rather than a drama. The storyline is interesting, especially to someone with little to no knowledge about the Joseon dynasty, Hae Ryung stays strong and independent while also showing her vulnerability. Yirim puts off a clueless aura but is really a strong character. Did I mention the characterization is amazing?

A Few Honorable Mentions...

Something in the Rain (Netflix)

Memories of the Alhambra (Netflix)

When the Camellia Blooms (Netflix)

Descendants of the Sun (Hulu)

Thirty but Seventeen (Hulu)

What's Wrong with Secretary Kim (Hulu)

#chicago typewriter #romance is a bonus book #strong woman do bong soon #hello my twenties #the smile has left your eyes #one spring night #just between lovers #rain or shine #black #vagabond #rookie historian goo hae ryung #kdrama #recommendations #livinglikearoyal recommends #netflix #hulu

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baymaksu · 3 years

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Okay, so I've watched your page awhile and first I want to say how much I can stop and appreciate the things you post/write about even if sometimes my ADHD doesn't always let me finish reading I kinda force myself to because it's just that interesting. But secondly I (Zykira) wanted to ask what's one of your favorite ideas you've had knocking around in your head that you may not have posted about yet? I figure with everything you write about there's gotta be something and it doesn't even have to be BH6 related, I really just want to know.

Oh my! First of all, it’s a pleasure to interact with you, Zykira! That’s an awesome name! I’m Jason, aka Baymaksu aka... Jaymaksu(?) lol.

But thank you so much for your kind words, I’m happy I can share my thoughts and if it sparks something in folks (hopefully positively) then it is an immense bonus! But being able to share these thoughts is often also because of awesome folks who prompt me to think. So I have gratitude to this fandom for that.

And I apologize for the length of my posts! Thank you for reading through them! Brevity is an art I’m lacking lol!

Anyways! My favorite ideas? Unfortunately my favorite ideas I must keep to the chest and save those for my fanfiction lest I spoil things and diminish the impact of them lol.

But I can at least share my current thoughts in interacting with the fandom more and what I am hoping to work on with my BH6 fan work! One being on creating my own take on continuing the BH6TS story in the form of a manga (combining my love of art and fanfiction writing just seems natural!)

And among it will be various themes that I’ve gleaned from what we’ve been given from BH6 and BH6TS and what I would’ve liked to see. One being that BH6 has often been about family. From losing family, to gaining family and strengthening existing bonds. But S3 gave us the reality that families can diverge and yet still love and care and be connected.

Now I will warn here, I do get pretty real on some things with my experiences as a veteran in relation to BH6. So I apologize, since I’m sharing some personal things but it’s just how much BH6 connects to me on a very personal level and that’s why I love it so much.

With S3’s start, it gave us quite a prospect. The nerd gang can pursue their lives away from being BH6... as much as they care for Hiro, the city and the identity of a superhero, it should be respected and understood that they have their own aspirations to go for. And it can lead them to being away or not being around as much. And it can be a heart wrenching reality for all but it happens.

I respect S3 for providing that to the story for Hiro. We don’t just lose family and those closest to us through tragedy. Life happens. But in both instances, there doesn’t have to be any diminishment in love and care, there are still bonds that are held. And it also allows for new beginnings, too.

In an odd twist that endears me more to Hiro’s story in relating to him, it connects to my own experiences as a veteran who still serves. I enlisted in the military to help others in my own way, to be able to protect others and ensure others can return home. Because... I lost someone early in the war who was very much like a brother to me (he was a close friend of my own brother). Both his life and death influenced me to serve in my own way, to honor his legacy. In a way, much like Hiro does for Tadashi.

To honor him more, I’ll share that his name was Angelo and the best accolade I’ve heard of him was that he was “not only a gentleman but a gentle man.” And I’ve carried that on my wrist on a KIA bracelet to remember this, moving forward.

I apologize if this is saddening but I do mean to celebrate his life and his goofy smile and demeanor that underlay his desire to protect others. He did what he set out to do. It’s an honorable thing. As Tadashi and later Hiro said, “Someone has to help.” Regardless of the risk or outcome, if not me then who?

Wow! Don’t mean to be depressing, sorry! Just something to share. I got sidetracked! But just as Hiro lost family to tragedy, he found family in Baymax and the nerd gang. When I had enlisted, I deployed and found family among the brotherhood that I had bonded with. It’s a different level of bonds that are often rare but when you have shared misery highlighted by joy, to have others you would die for and they you, it’s a rarity I hope others can experience.

Hiro found new family and bonds strengthened by the shared adversity and care that he got with Baymax and the nerds.

But to parallel my own experiences, I was fortunate to not lose any of those brothers I deployed with to tragedy. But after I came back home, many of them separated from the military and continued their lives outside of it. Moved away, returned to or began their families and careers.

Not all veterans writhe from PTSD or survivors guilt (although there are those who do, too) but they face a wider gamut of issues from varying experiences. What makes a transition like this difficult is the loss of family like how Hiro was being faced with the prospect of losing the nerds to them getting their careers started out of school. At its heart, it’s separation.

But when I get to reconnect with those brothers, it’s special and despite the distance, we still share those bonds. And even now, I have to allow myself to become more open to establish more connections and bonds with others. When I do, they open new doors yet. For Hiro, this situation can lead to him strengthening new friendships and opening him up to characters like Karmi and Megan.

That’s what a prospective S4 could look like and feel like and it’s just an amazing concept to me that means a lot personally. So, I hope to capture this, if even a little, in a continuation story.

Sorry, this is extremely long! Thank you for allowing me to share this idea with you!

#big hero 6 #big hero 6 the series #hiro hamada #the nerd gang #karmi #Megan cruz

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deankirk · 4 years

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Another Fic Rec List - various pairings

It’s time for another fic rec list, folks.

Immortal Husbands (Nicky/Joe from The Old Guard)

I’m pretty much obsessed with this ship and specially with their background history, and these are the getting together fics that we all love & deserve.

Waiting by domini_moonbeam, 12k, rated E

Summary: After a beat, Nicolo’s head bobbing in a tired nod. Yusuf patted his back, giving him a little shove toward the water. “Don’t drown! I don’t want to go in after you,” he said, backing away. Nicolo paused, glancing back at him, eyebrow raised and face painted in blood. There was a question there, in those incredible, expressive eyes—another question Nicolo would not say out loud. “And I would,” Yusuf answered this time. “I would go in after you. I would become a spirit of this forest, haunting that river until I found you.”

fearfully and wonderfully made by bethecowboy, 9k, rated E

Summary: Over the past few years, he’s started sleeping as little as he possibly can without dying — his under-eyes are permanently bruised and he spends daytimes hallucinating. It’s better than dwelling on what has come before: screams, limp bodies, spraying blood, blue eyes.

deo volente (lux aeterna) by qqueenofhades, 65k, rated M

Summary: Yusuf snorts, as if to say it’s mutual. But the Italian struggles to sit upright, wincing and swearing, and – Yusuf cannot pretend he does not want to know, not when a creature will always seek out its like, its matched half as the Greek philosopher Plato wrote, and there is nobody else in the world, to the best of his knowledge, like the two of them. He says, “What’s your name?”There’s a very long pause. He can hear the other man deciding whether to lie. But there is no purpose to it, except for bitterness, and the answer is uttered cold and shortly. “Nicolò.”

(Or: The inevitable backstory.)

Bonus:

Half In Love with Easeful Death by merle_p, 4k, rated M

Summary: “They are quite the sight, aren’t they?” Adrienne says, sitting down next to him on the log by the fire, offering him the eau de vie once more.“What are you talking about?” he says, feeling caught out. The bottle is half-empty already, and he does his part by taking a long drink so he doesn’t have to look at her for a while.“Those two,” she says, pointing her chin at Nicolas and Joseph, who are huddled together with their backs against the wide trunk of an ancient olive tree. “You were staring.”

(In which Booker is new to immortality, and trying to make sense of Nicky and Joe's love. Andy isn't exactly helping. Or maybe she is.)

Destiel (Time Travel and Future Fics)

Crazy Diamonds by pantheon_of_discord, 25k, rated E

Summary: A week ago, Dean was pulled out of Hell. Now, he’s apparently woken up in 2018, and the angel that a mere twenty-four hours beforehand had threatened to chuck him back into the pit is sleepily pouring himself coffee and wearing Dean’s second-favourite Zeppelin shirt. It all seems like a perfect happy ending, but with Hell’s scars still so fresh, Dean can’t imagine how he could have possibly gotten there.

At the same time, the Dean who went to sleep in the bunker, right next to Cas, wakes up on Bobby’s couch in 2008. He’s instantly bombarded with questions by a Lilith-obsessed brother and a man who’s been dead for years, and must decide between keeping his finally-perfect life intact, and the lives he could save by re-writing history.

Regardless of these choices, both Deans are trapped in the wrong decade, and their only way back lies with a Castiel still very much under Heaven’s thumb – one who might find the future Dean describes difficult to believe.

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo, 30k, rated E

Summary: “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

The Mirror by cloudyjenn, 25k, rated M

Summary: When Dean touches a strange mirror, he's whisked away to one alternate reality after another and it doesn't take him long to realize the universe is trying to tell him something.

The Story of You and Me by the_diggler, 55k, rated E

Summary: Dean wakes up in bed next to a very human Castiel, and a journal in his own handwriting that tells him it’s two years in the future. The house looks a lot like Bobby’s, and Sam lives there too… He just can’t remember how they got from angels falling in the sky – to comfortable domesticity.

While there is much in the journal Dean doesn’t remember, there is much of their story he’s always known. And as he settles into the routine of his new life and relationship with Castiel, it quickly becomes something he doesn’t know how to live without.

Stucky (Just Some of my Random Faves)

That Reflection Man by SkyisGray, 30k, rated E

Summary: Political AU - Steve is the son of a Governor and the grandson of a Vice President. At 18, he meets Bucky. At 24, he marries someone else. At 25, he's elected to the House of Representatives, and Bucky overdoses. But their story is really just getting started.

Ain't No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down) by spitandvinegar, 107k, rated M

Summary: It's six in the morning, and Steve is heading out on a run when he nearly trips over a bouquet of sunflowers on the front steps of his brownstone.

For a second paranoia takes over, and he kicks the flowers a little, waiting for them to explode. They don't. They also came with a card, which he picks up. The front of the card has a tasteful picture of the Brooklyn bridge at sunset. It's very nice and sedate, like the kind of card you would buy to give to your boss. On the inside someone has written a short message in big, shaky block letters.

I AM SORRY FOR SHOOTING YOU.

Steve sits down hard on the steps.

Steve Rogers at 100: Celebrating Captain America on Film by eleveninches, febricant, hellotailor, M_Leigh, neenya, tigrrmilk, 10k, rated G

Summary: Heil Hydra,” the enemy agent shouts.

“Heil this, motherfucker,” says Captain America, shooting off a rocket.

Steve and Bucky find out Hollywood has been busy since they went away. A historical survey, including but not limited to: one set of exploded genitals, a brief interlude in France, Mel Gibson and other masterworks of casting, eight Academy awards, several dinosaurs, and something Tony Stark has ominously dubbed “the masterpiece.” Art included.

Relax by ShowMeAHero, 1,3k, rated G

Summary: Bucky remembers a detail of his past over breakfast, and nobody can handle it.

FIC RECS: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

#immortal husbands #destiel #stucky #fic recs #my recs

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ts1989fanatic · 4 years

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Peace in introspection: Taylor Swift’s folklore

The singer-songwriter’s latest effort offers a warm, wistful escape from global uncertainty, writes May Hawkings

If there’s one thing that 2020 has taught us, it is to expect the unexpected. Announced just hours before its release in late July, Taylor Swift’s eighth studio album folklore was met with widespread critical acclaim, supported by staggering numbers in both sales and streaming. Despite its minimal promotion in comparison to the big-budget fanfare that usually accompanies her album releases, folklore is tangible proof of Swift’s domination of the music industry. Although sonically and stylistically different from her previous albums, one thing is for certain: Taylor Swift is limitless in her musical endeavours.

As a self-proclaimed Swiftie, Taylor Swift has most certainly provided the soundtrack to my formative years. I can vividly recall dancing to ‘Love Story’ and ‘You Belong with Me’ with my friends at school discos, quite oblivious to the emotional narrative of the tracks but nonetheless engrossed in their catchy melodies. A few years later, I remember singing along to her 2012 album Red at karaoke. And now, during a global pandemic, I listen to the soft, haunting tracks of her latest album over a lively video call with my friends (Zoom audio sharing, I appreciate you). While my musical tastes have undoubtedly evolved over the past decade, Taylor Swift has been a continual presence in my playlists.

“Despite her constant experimentation with her style, Swift continues to assert the same lyrical mastery and storytelling genius that has come to shape her impressive, record-breaking career.”

That’s not to say that Swift’s style hasn’t changed. In fact, since entering the music industry in 2006, we’ve seen her metamorphose from country sweetheart to pop superstar with 1989 and reputation. Since then, the bubblegum pop production of Lover has been swapped with soft melodies and moody guitars. Yet, despite her constant experimentation with her style, Swift continues to assert the same lyrical mastery and storytelling genius that has come to shape her impressive, record-breaking career.

Folklore, an album created entirely in lockdown, is Swift’s debut alternative album. Its romantic lyrics and intimate acoustics offer a warm, wistful escape from global uncertainty. We are whisked away from our everyday troubles via the third-person narratives that are woven into the lyrics of ‘cardigan’, ‘betty’ and ‘august’, forming a fictional love triangle that reminds us of the transience of youth. In the poetic bonus track ‘the lakes’, Swift pines for her lover behind the stunning backdrop of the Lake District. “Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die”, she sings, as she yearns to flee from the modern world and the “hunters with cell phones.” Even in the ‘cardigan’ music video, Swift escapes into a peaceful woodland where she momentarily forgets her everyday anxieties. In an Instagram post announcing the surprise release of folklore in July, she explains how writing this album was a “way of escaping into fantasy, history and memory.”

However, despite providing a welcoming getaway from reality, Swift poignantly honours front-line workers in the melancholic ballad ‘epiphany’, which draws parallels between her grandfather landing at Guadalcanal in 1942, and the trauma faced by healthcare workers in the wake of the pandemic. The song’s haunting lyrics exemplify the tragedies of both war and sickness, and the painful reality of those who are left to continue the fight. The soldiers “crawling up the beaches now” in the first verse of the track are swapped with the sombre mother who “holds your hand through plastic now” in the second. The mournful lyrics of the track pair perfectly with its hymnal sound.

“The combination of honest, raw lyrics and minor key chords produce an intimate indie-folk album”

A fan favourite on the album is the stirring duet ‘exile’ featuring Bon Iver, a mesmerising ballad that intertwines a dual narrative to capture the sentiments of a broken relationship. The track is full of beautiful harmonies and echoes as the ex-lovers exchange lines in a melodic argument that gloriously erupts in the bridge. The track fades out as slowly and as quietly as it began, leaving behind only the memory of a past love.

Full of enchanting tales, folklore is, at its core, an album of self-reflection. Away from the limelight, Swift has created a nostalgic and mature album that reflects upon her old loves, missteps, and regrets. The combination of honest, raw lyrics and minor key chords produce an intimate indie-folk album that showcases the artist at her most vulnerable and creative. In the midst of a cruel summer, Swift emerges with her most ambitious and momentous album yet. This year needed saving, and Taylor Swift did not disappoint.

ts1989fanatic one of the best reviews of folklore to date

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unexpected-possibilities · 4 years

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Because I need something to cheer me up, here’s part of today’s celebratory “I reached 150 pages” or whatever I’m calling it. These are some of my saved notes from my chapters throughout my writing process in Saudade (I unfortunately didn’t start keeping them until recently so there’s not as many as I’d like). It’s also important that you know I write absolutely everything as I go, I only ever have like 30% of anything figured out.

The entirety of my notes for Chapter 8: Did You Know ~

*insert that vine of the guy recording his friend, who sits up, then someone else sits up in bed beside him and he’s like “Ohhh OHOHO” and runs away but Archie is recording*

(This video)

Some possible ways that Chapter 10: Ready or Not could have played out ~

-Douxie and his fam go to see Charlie

-Douxie discusses what he and Archie discovered on rescue duty(what did they find??? I do not know)

-prophecy??

-underground wizard hideout place that took a hit in the hurricane???, douxie and co find themselves in the midst of like a magic gangwar type of thing???

-douxie finding out what his special power is that master wizards get ???

-what even is it???

I clearly knew what was happening in Chapter 11: Deep Water ~

*banging fists on table* ANGST ANGST ANGST

My highly detailed info for Chapter 12: Secrets ~

-Zoe has to go to the hospital???

-Douxie in the hospital chair asleep nearby

-what even happened to her, f*** if i know

-injured in the fight??

-too much magical exertion

-Zoe waking up from being drugged acting all weird (how weird is weird)

And a look at some things that were tossed around, some that were used some weren’t, in upcoming Chapter 13: Fire and Ice ~

-Zoe and Douxie return from the hospital to find Archie working with the formerly hostile hedgewizards

- said mages agree to a hesitant pact to protect the city, mortals, and themselves in partnership with Chaos Family and whoever else they can get

- Zoe decides it’s time to travel to see Tara in Boston, Claire teleports Zoe’s car to NYC for her bc the ship is very much out of commission. Chaos family road trip?? i talk about Zoe’s car too much but it is Vital Info

Under the cut: Bonus material from other fics and from conversation I’ve had recently with @nikibogwater regarding my writing processes!

Understatement of the year regarding Unless Spoken To ~

Douxie sees his father for the first time since he ran away and it doesn’t go over well.

Notes from We Will Rock You ~

remember that one time you jammed out to Queen in your car at like 11pm at night? yeah, that. and how fun getting your leather jacket was. that’s all folks

The vibes I got from Have it All ~

(sometime in my Saudade timeline idk you make it work)

Douxie really said no <3 to Zoe in the beginning there.

And lastly, wings!Zoe notes that are still in progress...

She gets a spear “made of a storm” the spear tells her it belonged to the Valkyrie Rota, ‘a goddess who sends sleet and storm’

Rota is one of the youngest of the valkyrie (use some of the poetry??)

Zoe has a pair of wings, sort of combining the swan-maiden story with valkyries

Hawk wings with lichtenberg figures

The wings area very big, she has trouble with their weight/size at first

Buys taller heels so she can walk with her wings better

Doesn’t realize how to Not Have Wings for like a few days so she thinks she’s stuck with them

Zoe spends a while altering preexisting clothing or figuring out how it’ll work with her wings, relearning how to sew

Sparring pt 2 but now with wings (it’s a disaster)

And this little gem:

Anyways, thank you all for this crazy journey I set out on a couple months ago, I’ve loved the vast majority of it. I hope to give you guys all I’ve got in the works to come. Also, all the links to my works can be found in my pinned post to redirect you to Ao3. I didn’t link here because tumblr likes to eat posts with links in them. Hope you enjoyed this chaos for the day lol.

#long post #saudade #misc #fic notes #fic ramblings #toa wizards #toa fanfic #toa fanfiction #douxie #zouxie #zouxie week fics #150 pages celebration #chapter 13 notes were a serious gift to you early btw lol #had to think hard on that one #saudade toa

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ladylynse · 5 years

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Hey, folks, not sure if writing a bonus chapter of my Star-centric reveal fic Helpless counts for DP Side Hoes Week since it’s not a new fic, but I’m going to pretend it does. (This can be read on its own if you go off the starting point of Star already knowing Danny’s secret.)

Gathering for a training session was supposed to be a good thing. A simple thing. Straightforward. Except nothing’s really straightforward anymore, and Star’s not sure why she ever thought it would be. [FF | AO3]

-|-

“Why are they here?” Danny hissed to her, unable to hide his nervousness as he peered around the corner of the school at Paulina, Dash, Kwan, and Valerie. Valerie was the only one prepared—she was already doing stretches, while Paulina was just using a compact to touch up her makeup and Dash and Kwan were arm-wrestling on the bleachers—but that wasn’t the point.

The point was that Star had invited them all to the football field, to meet on one of the rare Thursday nights when Valerie didn’t have to work, and they had all come. That already spoke volumes, whatever Fenton thought.

Star crossed her arms. “Because I asked them to come. Because they all need a training session, too. And because you brought enough weapons with you, anyway, didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah, but only because you said you wanted to try different stuff, and….” Danny trailed off and set the box he was carrying on the ground. The others would know Danny was here if they looked over and saw her standing where she was, but he was mostly hidden by the corner of the school. If he decided to bolt, she wouldn’t be able to stop him. He wasn’t afraid to use his powers in front of her now, providing he thought no one else would notice. “Seriously, Valerie does not need to be here. She has better aim than most people.”

“Which you know how, from watching her toss stuff into the garbage can from halfway across the room?”

Danny didn’t answer, but that was fine. Star didn’t really want an answer. She hadn’t pushed Valerie on that front, and she hadn’t really pushed Danny, either, aside from a bit of pointed needling. She still wasn’t sure she wanted to know the truth yet.

The fact that Danny was Phantom, that Paulina had a crush on the kid she routinely called a loser, that Dash idolized the guy he shoved into a locker almost every day, that Valerie had dated Danny despite ranting about Phantom at every opportunity, was more than enough to take in.

If Danny didn’t want to tell them his secret, fine. Whatever. She wouldn’t tell them either. But letting himself be bullied to this extent for the sake of invisibility was just stupid. Maybe it was being a halfa, maybe it was being a teenager, but he did not have the sense of self-preservation he claimed to have. Star had seen social suicide more than once, and this was definitely it.

You could still not draw attention to yourself without being the school punching bag.

Frankly, she’d argue that Danny would draw less attention to himself if he wasn’t always being picked on and showing no physical signs of it. Really, if he could be slammed into the street so hard that it formed a crater and he didn’t even bruise, being shoved into a locker wasn’t going to leave any marks. And it didn’t. Nothing she’d seen did, at least not for any length of time. Eventually, someone else would notice, and that would be the attention he claimed to not want.

Of course, when she tried telling that to him, he didn’t listen.

“Look,” Danny said quietly, “I’m fine with showing you some stuff, but they’ll…. They’ll have questions. And Dash will shoot me with something. You know he will. I’ll just pretend to get sick and—”

“Stuff it, Fenton, you’re doing this.” He blinked at her, and Star rolled her eyes. “Seriously. It’s not going to blow your secret. Trust me, no one is going to put that together without more clues than the fact that you know how to use the stuff your parents invent. Which is totally normal, seeing as they’re your parents. Besides, if you were this freaked out by the very idea of anyone seeing you as a semi-competent ghost hunter, you’d have never led us all when we fought to get our parents back. You even said yourself that you know how to work all their gear. It’s not like that’s going to be a new revelation.”

He opened his mouth and then closed it.

She smirked. “Let me carry that box for you, and you can go back to pretending to be a weakling. Want me to tell them Jazz dropped you off?”

“They’re not going to ask,” Danny muttered, but he helped her pick up the box of weaponry—which was good, because it was heavier than it looked. She grunted and shifted its weight, trying to get a better grip. The last thing she wanted to do was drop this and set something off.

Even knowing what she did, it was hard to remember that Fenton was really strong—especially compared to what she’d seen him do in gym class, which was practically pathetic by anyone’s standards. Sure, she didn’t expect everyone to be able to climb a rope, but he couldn’t run for thirty seconds before gasping for air. For someone who fought a lot, he was really unfit.

Of course, that might be because he spent most of his time flying and phasing and not running and dodging like the rest of them. Or at least not dodging as much as the rest of them, since she’d seen him dodge, and his quick reflexes spoke for themselves. Granted, they all had the chance to hide, and he didn’t.

But all too often, hiding meant being cornered, and being cornered meant being helpless, and she wasn’t doing that again.

Which was why they were doing this.

Besides, Danny owed her for keeping this a secret. Well, technically, either they were even or she owed him for saving her life more than once, but he thought he owed her, and she wasn’t going to correct that assumption.

“Fenton’s here, you guys,” Star called as they got closer. Danny was doing a remarkable job of trying to hide behind her, keeping well out of Dash’s reach without making it overly obvious that that’s exactly what he was doing. Really, she’d never realized how good he was at that kind of thing.

Star dumped the box unceremoniously on the bleachers, unable to hold it any longer, and winced at the clink and clatter of the weapons inside. Luckily, nothing exploded. She glanced over her shoulder at Danny. “What’d you bring?”

“Just a variety of stuff,” he mumbled, edging around her towards the box.

Dash beat him to it. “Outta my way, Fenturd,” he said. He tossed a couple of ecto-guns towards Kwan and kept rummaging. “I don’t see that bazooka thing in here.”

“It’s not a beginner’s weapon.”

Dash rounded on Danny. “You think I can’t handle it?”

Danny’s eye twitched. “It’s best for everyone to start off small.”

“I told him to bring more compact stuff,” Star put in before Dash could get out the retort that had to be on the tip of his tongue. She peeked into the box, spotting a small cylinder which had rolled into the back corner. “Seriously, Fenton? I told you the lipstick laser thing was a bad idea.”

“Ooh, I want that one,” Paulina said, finally putting her compact away and coming over. “Make up is the best weapon a girl can have!”

Star bit her tongue and handed the weapon to Paulina. She couldn’t contradict her in front of everyone and expect to remain friends. Besides, she was pretty sure the whole point of the Fenton Lipstick thing was to make a weapon that was easy to carry around and to hide. In Paulina’s case—and even in her own, if she trusted herself a bit more—it would work perfectly.

Danny claimed these weapons didn’t actually harm humans, but she was pretty sure he was a halfa because of some lab accident—can’t just have been contaminated food if he was the only one out of the whole family affected—so she didn’t put too much stock in any of the so-called safety features of these things.

Still.

There were enough ghosts around that she was willing to take the risk.

Of course, Dash and Kwan were already shooting at each other with ecto-guns and trying to dodge the blasts, so she should find out soon enough how detrimental it was for a human to be hit.

“Is that a whip?” Valerie asked, raising an eyebrow at Danny as she looked up from the box.

“Jack-o’-nine-tails. You’ve probably seen my dad using it. It’s, um, a little more advanced than some of the other stuff. Not really point and shoot, I mean, but if you can get a ghost—”

“I’ll play around with it,” she said, scooping it out of the box and heading to the far corner of the football field, well away from Paulina and Dash and Kwan.

“You thought I’d be good with a whip?” Star asked, not bothering to hide her smirk.

“You’re a cheerleader,” Danny muttered. “You have to have a good arm. Here,” he said, abruptly changing the subject by pulling a baton-like weapon out of the box and handing it to her. “This is Mom’s latest version of the Fenton Utility Weapon. It’s similar to the version you used on the pirate ship, but it can do a lot more stuff. If you don’t like that, try the wrist ray. That’s Sam’s favourite.”

Star pressed a button on the side, and a green light shot out of the top like a light saber. Danny jerked back, narrowly avoiding the beam. “Sorry,” Star said. “I didn’t know it was going to do that.”

“Press that button again,” he said. She did, and the light vanished. “Now grab it at the top and twist. Just, like, half a turn. Point it away from me and press the button.”

This time, something like a cattle prod shot out of the end and crackled with electricity.

“You can experiment with it; there are a bunch of different settings, but the button is always the main on/off activation. Press and hold it to activate the safety when you’re done. I’ll, uh, I guess I’ll set up some targets and see if I can convince the others to actually use them.”

“I didn’t invite everyone just to mess with you. You know that, right?” Danny avoided looking at her, so Star added, “I figured you’d say no if I asked.”

“So you did it anyway? I told you, I don’t want to stand out in a crowd.”

“That’s not what this is about. It’s…. Danny, you’ll always be able to fight back against ghosts. You’re a weapon; the only extra stuff you need to carry with you is a thermos. Do you even remember what it’s like to feel helpless?”

He snorted. “Of course I do. Being the kid no one pays attention to is great, since it’s easier for me to sneak away, but sometimes I can’t use my powers. Case and point, the last time you used something like that.”

Star frowned. “You practically equipped the entire class. How exactly were you helpless?”

“Fine, so maybe that’s not the best example. But even when we were stuck in detention together, I couldn’t really fight back until you were out of the room.” He hesitated. “And, I mean, yeah, in hindsight, pushing you through the floor might not have been the smartest idea, especially when I didn’t know what you were going to fall onto, but I’m still not great at clones. The point is, my hands are tied if someone who doesn’t know my secret is right there, watching me, and all the ghosts know it. Including some of the ones I haven’t run into before, apparently.”

There was a yelp from the middle of the field, followed by Paulina’s indignant, “Watch where you’re pointing those! You almost messed up my hair.”

Star wasn’t entirely surprised that Dash’s response was more laughter than apology.

“Yeah, okay, but believe it or not, these guys? And me, obviously? Always helpless in a ghost attack. No defense. It’s basically run, hide, hunker down, and hope someone—you, the Red Huntress, even your parents—comes along and saves us. And it sucks. A lesson in how to use your parents’ stuff might not stop Dash from whaling on you, but if he decides to buy something—”

“He’s just going to keep that ecto-gun. You know that, right?”

“—then he’ll have a way to fight back and defend himself. That assurance is invaluable.”

“He took the net-gun, too. Neither of those is invaluable.”

Star growled. “Fine. You’re not happy. I get it. I’m sorry for thinking I could help my friends.” Sarcasm wasn’t a good point to end this conversation on, not when he was helping her, so she added, “Thanks for not backing out when you saw them.” She couldn’t keep her annoyance and exasperation out of her tone, but it was marginally better than saying nothing.

“I promised you a weapon. And they would’ve found out you had one sooner rather than later.” He shrugged. “It might be better this way.”

Great, now she felt horrible for overreacting. Star took a deep breath, let it out, and then said, “Yeah. But I’m sorry. Really. I should’ve run it by you.”

“Trust me, this is not the worst surprise I’ve gotten in my life.” He grinned at her. “See if you can find all the weapons in that. My last count is twelve, but I don’t know if I’ve found them all, either.”

Danny ran off to try to convince Dash and Kwan not to shoot at each other—or maybe to tell Paulina not to try to use the laser to scorch a picture into the grass—and Star couldn’t help but laugh. It was just….

Even with all he put up with as Fenton, even with all he did as Phantom, he was still nice enough to take the time out of his night to make good on a promise to her. She knew Dash’s opinion wasn’t going to change overnight and that he’d have Danny in a locker tomorrow, given the opportunity. She knew Paulina would sneer at him and call him a loser even if she never relinquished the lipstick weapon. She knew Kwan wasn’t going to see this as anything but a bit of fun—bonus points if a lot of it came at Danny’s expense, most likely.

But she also knew it could be a start, and he couldn’t even see that.

Star jogged closer to Valerie—not near enough to be within range of the whip, which Val seemed to be getting the hang of very quickly, but near enough that she was sufficiently far enough away from the other three. Danny was right; Valerie was good, even with a weapon she hadn’t used before, and the others…. Well, not so much. But that might just be because they lacked focus.

That and Valerie’s black belt training, since that probably helped somehow, albeit not necessarily when it came to using a new weapon.

Star tried multiple combinations of movement on the puzzle box that was the Fenton Utility Weapon. She’d found five more weapons—pole extension, machete-like blade, mini grappling hook, electrified whip, and what was presumably a phase-proof weighted net—when she heard Dash and Kwan cheering, followed by Paulina’s trilling laugh.

Somehow, it didn’t come as a surprise to see Danny entangled in the net-gun’s phase-proof net.

It certainly couldn’t be the first time he’d been caught in one, but he could hardly get out of it using his ghost powers, and the fact that Dash was beginning to jog around and drag him meant he couldn’t get out the way anyone else might, either.

Star ran over. “Cut it out, you guys. Fenton’s helping us.”

“It’s fine,” Kwan said. “We’re training.”

Dash grinned as he ran past her. “Yeah, Fentoenail’s the ghost, and we need to wear him down.”

Right now, all they were doing was covering Danny’s clothes with grass stains as he tried and failed to wrestle free. If he wasn’t so resilient, he’d end up with a bad friction burn, but as it was….

“Don’t worry about it,” Paulina said as Dash passed Danny to Kwan. “They’re just having some fun.”

Danny was right. She shouldn’t have invited them. She didn’t even know how to make them stop. They weren’t going to listen to her, especially if Paulina was on their side.

She still had to try, though. “C’mon,” Star yelled at them, “Fenton’s doing us a favour! Don’t you wanna be able to do something the next time a ghost attacks instead of just running away?”

She could see that Danny had set up targets at the far end of the field. She could also see that they hadn’t been used. At least, she was guessing that the scorch marks in the grass were from when the weapons had been aimed at him, not at the targets, since they were similar to the ones left earlier and, well, since they led away from the actual targets. Dash and Kwan should have decent aim, and even Paulina….

“This was a stupid idea, wasn’t it?” Star said to Paulina when no one answered. “The only one who’s getting anything out of this is me. And Valerie, I guess.” Star glanced over her shoulder to see what Valerie was doing—surely she’d try to step up to help Fenton? They were still friends—only to realize that Valerie was no longer there.

“What are you talking about?” Paulina said. “I’ve got this cool new lipstick weapon. I can’t wait to show the ghost boy. I’m going to ask him to teach me to use it, and we’ll spend so much time together, and—”

A high-pitched scream cut Paulina off. Dash. He and Kwan had stopped dragging Danny and were instead running back towards her and Paulina, and behind them—

“Yes, you should run, whelps,” Skulker said, levelling a pair of missile launchers at them. “I am the Ghost Zone’s Greatest Hunter. My reputation should precede me.”

He’s baiting Danny. Star didn’t know why it surprised her. He was ignoring Danny for now, focusing on them to force Danny into action. Taking him while he was strapped in the net would be cheating, not just easy prey. But as long as they were there, Danny couldn’t—

“C’mon, Star, move,” Paulina grabbed her hand and pulled, and Star obediently started running.

She was always running.

She hated running.

“I…I can’t….” How could she say this and not completely lose her social standing in Paulina’s eyes? “It’s my fault Fenton’s here. I’ve gotta help him. You guys hide.”

“It’s just Fenton,” Paulina hissed, tugging her harder as Star tried to slow. “He’ll be fine. He always is. Besides, he brought all those weapons. He has to know how to use them.”

“He needs to get out of the net first.” She jerked her hand free. “Just hide. I’ll find you as soon as I cut him free.”

“The ghost boy can help him.”

The ghost boy was him. Danny might be able to get free easily enough once the others were gone, but if something slowed him down—

“It’s my fault he’s here,” Star said again, and then she turned and started running the other way. Paulina shouted after her, but when Star finally looked back, Paulina was rounding the corner of the school.

Dash and Kwan would be able to keep her safe. They still had an ecto-gun, maybe two, between them. And Paulina still had the lipstick weapon. Valerie…. Star didn’t even know where Valerie was. Somewhere safe, probably, having spotted the ghost and run in a different direction? Except, if she’d seen the ghost, wouldn’t she have said something? Or, more accurately, screamed something?

Star tried to remember what combination would yield the knife on the Fenton Utility Weapon. When she wound up on something that looked like garden shears, she deemed it good enough and kept running, holding the weapon out to one side in case she tripped.

She was not exactly inconspicuous, and it wasn’t long before she was back to wondering if she was even sane. Skulker was pointing the weapons at her now, and she was still running towards them, and Danny—

Why wasn’t Danny freezing or blasting his way out of the net?

Why hadn’t he transformed?

Why was he just sitting there?

What the heck was he waiting f—?

A blast of pink energy hit Skulker’s form. Star ducked on instinct, despite still being over ten feet away, and only looked up again when she heard the Red Huntress speak. “Hey, ghost scum, scram or see what it’s like to face a real hunter!”

Star scrambled forward, closing the distance between her and Danny while the Red Huntress distracted the ghost. “Why the heck didn’t you transform or try to get away?” she hissed as she made a clumsy attempt to cut him free. “We’re lucky the Red Huntress showed up when she did!”

“Lucky,” Danny said flatly. “Yeah. That’s one way of putting it.” He took the Fenton Utility Weapon from her shaking hands and cut himself free. That was just as well; she could see at a glance that there was no way either of them could untangle the knot by hand, not when it was pulled that tight, and she couldn’t blame him for not wanting to use his ice powers in front of the Red Huntress.

He collapsed the weapon, handed it back to her, and crawled free. “Keep low,” he said, as if she planned to do anything else while Skulker and the Red Huntress traded blows practically on top of them.

She followed him to the bleachers. As cover went, it was barely better than nothing. “Why aren’t you going to help?” she whispered. “Even if you don’t want to transform here, you can run off and—”

“She can handle this one,” Danny said, nodding in the direction of the Red Huntress. “She’s a good shot, and I don’t want to push my luck.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I don’t want her to realize that there are two ghosts here. It��s not exactly a secret that she hates Phantom.”

Star frowned. “Why didn’t…?” Maybe she shouldn’t ask. Maybe she shouldn’t press him. But, given what she knew, his inaction seemed at odds with the way he usually went about trying to save them all. “I don’t get it. This is a ghost. I know the Red Huntress is here now, but you couldn’t have known she was coming. Why not just free yourself once we were all running away? You know no one’s going to look back until after they hope they’re out of sight.”

Danny shrugged. “Cameras?” He didn’t even try to sound particularly convinced.

“Fenton, c’mon. Remember how I said I wasn’t stupid?”

He sighed, looking utterly unconcerned by the firefight going on in the air barely twenty feet away. “Look, the Red Huntress has a way to detect ghosts. It’s, like, a smaller, way more inconspicuous version of Mom and Dad’s Fenton Finder. And it’s accurate. And when it goes off, if she can get away to help, she does. So I wasn’t surprised to see her turn up.”

Star stared at him. “You can’t know that she wasn’t busy. That she was close. You just…. You can’t. Which makes you not trying to save our butts kinda dangerous, don’t you think? Just because you handed us all weapons ten minutes ago, doesn’t mean we have a clue how to use them effectively. I couldn’t even….” She waved the Fenton Utility Weapon around vaguely. “This kind of thing takes practice. More practice than five seconds.”

He had the nerve to smile at her. “Glad you recognize that. Do you think you want to stick with that weapon or try a different one? Like I said, Sam—”

“Danny. I’m serious. I don’t…. Even if you weren’t really hurt by Skulker’s weapons, we could’ve been. The Red Huntress….” Star trailed off, watching as the hunter in question pulled out a thermos of her own—not a Fenton Thermos, despite the obvious similarities—and captured Skulker. “She’s not always going to be there. And neither are you. Which is why I want to learn something. But I can’t…. If you planned this, if you talked to Skulker and the Red Huntress and—”

“Wait, hold on, you seriously think I planned this?” Danny looked incredulous. “Star, I don’t plan ghost attacks. I don’t stage anything to look like the good guy, whatever my parents think. And even if, for some obscure reason, I decided to try, you really think the Red Huntress would agree to help? No. Just, no. Even if I asked her as Fenton, she doesn’t trust ghosts. She’d never agree to a crazy plan like that.”

“Well, then how else can you explain being so…so nonchalant about all of this? You didn’t even look particularly worried when I came to help you out of the net!”

Danny let out a slow breath, glanced over in time to watch the Red Huntress speed away on her jet sled, and turned back to Star. “Okay. Look. I didn’t know Skulker was going to show up until a few seconds before he actually did. That’s usually all the warning I get. But I knew the Red Huntress was close. I saw her. And I know how sensitive her watch is. I knew she was going to hear it beep and then find a way to run off and come back to fight Skulker. I…I know who she is. And how dedicated she is. Even if she’d rather have a crack at Phantom, she’s not going to just let a ghost go when they’re threatening her friends—or anyone else in town.”

Star frowned. He wasn’t saying what she thought he was saying, was he? That was ridiculous. Just because he wasn’t the only classmate she had who ran off when a ghost attacked—

“Is everyone okay?”

That was Valerie’s voice.

A few seconds later, she was running around the corner of the school.

Her eyes barely scanned the football field before they zeroed in on Danny and Star, despite the fact that they were still crouched in shadow beneath the bleachers.

“Star? Danny? Are you all right?” Valerie ran closer, circling around the bleachers to meet them from the back. “Did Paulina and Dash and Kwan get away okay?”

Valerie never had liked Phantom.

“We’re fine,” Danny said. “Glad you got away safely, too.”

“You two were cutting it close,” Val said. “Star’s right; we really needed this training session. I…. Thanks for showing us your parents’ stuff, Danny.”

Danny hadn’t really shown her anything. He’d confirmed that the weapon Valerie had chosen was a whip, and she’d figured the rest out for herself. Without nearly decapitating anyone or, as far as Star had seen, even shocking herself with its electricity feature.

Like she was familiar with the weaponry, if not the weapon.

“We’re going to have to do it again,” Star murmured. She had to be wrong. This…. No. This was Valerie. Her best friend, aside from Paulina. “Might not bother to invite the others if they won’t take it seriously, though.”

Valerie rolled her eyes. “I know what you mean. They never listen to me. I was thrilled you listened to me and asked Danny to do this. I should’ve thought of that ages ago. But if we can at least get you to be able to defend yourself, we can work on the others.”

Was she pretending her extensive martial arts training was enough to give her an edge to using ghost hunting weapons, to the point that it didn’t matter that she should be completely unfamiliar with the technology?

“I, uh, vote that they don’t come if I do this again,” Danny said.

He was pretending this was normal.

He was always pretending.

So was Valerie. And, now, so was she. Even with them. Even with each other. Even….

Oh, man, should she tell Valerie her suspicions? Even if she never mentioned anything about Danny? Would that be enough to get Val to open up to her if she was right, or would it just make her brush it all off? Danny had tried to throw her off the scent, but his secret was different, and she and Valerie had always told each other everything. Which boys they kinda sorta liked, what they actually dreamed of doing when they were adults, as opposed to what they thought they’d end up doing, what they really thought about—

“I’m off Monday night,” Valerie offered. “I wouldn’t mind trying a few more of your parents’ weapons, Danny, if you’re up for this again. Just the three of us. We don’t have to tell the others, and Lancer usually doesn’t give us an awful amount of homework right away.” She glanced at Star but said to Danny, “Sam and Tucker can come instead. I mean, you’ve probably shown them this stuff already, but Star and I can use the extra help.”

Maybe this wasn’t really happening. Maybe she was just dreaming this, and she’d wake up and she’d have to live through another Thursday and then they’d get to the real training session that night, where none of this had happened.

Except Star’s heart was still thundering in her chest, and she already had a cramp in her leg from crouching in this position, and she didn’t even need to raise a hand to know that she was shaking.

“That works for me, unless I get detention or something.”

Valerie snorted. “Try not to sleep in class or miss it entirely.”

“I mean, I always try.”

“Guys.” Star didn’t realize she’d actually spoken aloud until they were both looking at her. “Another training session sounds great, really. I could definitely use it. Just…. I don’t want to plan it right this minute. I’ve got…stuff to think about.”

“Like what you’re going to say to Paulina if she broke a nail and blames you?” Valerie asked. Star shot her a look, and she relented. “Okay, okay, I might still be a little bit bitter over the way she cut me out. But, really, I’m glad you’re finally taking the initiative and doing this. You need to be able to protect yourself.”

“We all do,” Star said, but they already could. She was the only one of the three who couldn’t. They were willing to help her, and that was great, but….

Seriously.

How had she not noticed this before?

Especially after she’d figured out what was up with Fenton?

Not that she’d known exactly until she’d tricked him into confessing, but still. She’d known something was up. And with Valerie, she…hadn’t.

But something was very clearly up, and now Star was almost certain she knew what it was, and she just….

“Why don’t we head to the Nasty Burger? The others are probably there anyway, and you can catch up with them. It’ll calm you down. You still look pretty freaked out, Star.”

Was that Danny telling her that he knew that she’d figured it out? The thing he’d hinted at but never explicitly told her?

“You wanna bring your parents’ stuff to the Nasty Burger?” Valerie asked. “And you want me to walk in there with you? You think I want to lose my job?”

“Well, you guys can go ahead. I’ll just stash the stuff in my locker or something and meet up with you after.”

“The school’s locked.”

“Then I can take it home. Or phone Jazz. Or just skip it entirely. I mean, Sam and Tucker—”

“We’ll help you pack up,” Star interrupted, “and you can phone Jazz to pick you up again while I text Paulina. Valerie’s right; she’ll be with the boys. We’ll, um, meet up with you another time, unless Jazz is okay with running the stuff home on her own and you can catch up with us later.”

Star knew she wasn’t mistaking the look of relief that crossed Danny’s face. “Sounds good.”

It was what he’d asked her to do: cover for him when the others couldn’t.

She just…hadn’t imagined it would be like this.

Of course, she’d never imagined any of this. How could Danny and Valerie—

“C’mon, Star.” Valerie pulled her up to her feet, and Star couldn’t find the energy to resist. Danny was ignoring them, talking on the phone to Jazz—or Sam or Tucker pretending to be Jazz, for all she knew. “You’ll feel better with a small, low-fat chocolate shake in you. My treat.”

“Thanks,” Star murmured.

“Trust me,” Valerie said as she let Star collapse onto the front bench of the bleachers and began to pack what was left of the FentonWorks weaponry back into the box, “some training days are rougher than others. You can’t let one bad experience turn you off. The key is to stick to it.”

“Right.” Star wasn’t going to disagree. This had been her idea. She’d asked Danny to do this, and she’d asked everyone to come here. Including Valerie, who obviously didn’t need it nearly as much as the rest of them but had been happy to come anyway.

But maybe that was okay. Maybe she didn’t have to confront Valerie on this. She was still coping with finding out about Danny; she could broach the subject with Valerie later. Much later. Or maybe she could wait for Valerie to feel comfortable with telling her on her own. That was possible, right? She was already keeping Danny’s secret. She could keep Valerie’s, too.

She didn’t have to mention that it was odd that Valerie knew exactly how to disengage a tangled, torn net from a net-gun that she had supposedly never used before.

She didn’t have to ask how Valerie knew to collapse and then activate the safety on the Fenton Utility Weapon.

She could just…turn a blind eye to it for now. Like Danny was, and probably Sam and Tucker, too.

She could let a couple of the best ghost hunters in town teach her how to defend herself against ghosts, even though neither of them would admit to being nearly as good as they were in front of the other.

Yeah.

She could do that.

And if the opportunity ever came up to try to subtly convince Valerie that Phantom wasn’t the evil piece of ghost scum she thought he was, well, Star could take it. She owed Danny that much, since this clearly hadn’t worked out as she’d hoped. Valerie already knew Star supported Phantom, so it wouldn’t be strange. And if Star had to hint that she knew Valerie’s secret to get her to listen, well, she could cross that bridge when she came to it.

Some things really needed to be taken one day at a time, and Star was good at that.

-|-

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#danny phantom #dp side hoes week #dp star #dp fanfiction #phanfiction #fanfiction #my writing #ladylynse #dp snippet #snippets #hopefully this counts?#I did it anyway

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therealvagabird · 5 years

Text

Trollkin 5E Race Homebrew

Another homebrew for 5E, this time allowing you to play as a PC equivalent to a troll. I wasn’t fully satisfied with any versions I found online, and so made my own. Feel free to use if you have the opportunity, just be sure to let me know how it works out!

It was a hunger for power that drove the ancient troll priests to raise up their empires on savagery, dark magics, and the endless endurance of their race. Now, it is the simple hunger of survival that motivates their descendants. Though few would underestimate the might of any troll-breed, it is the cunning of the intelligent Trollkin that will see their heroes defy all expectations, and rise from such a base existence.

Born of the Earth

Trollkin are a diminutive branch of the greater troll family, blessed with heightened intelligence at the cost of some of the size associated with their giantish heritage. Their appearances range from the more humanoid to the bestial, though they are usually held along the orcs and goblins as being monstrous and unlovely. They are creatures with an intrinsic link to the lands on which they live, often coming to resemble it themselves – sandy-hued skin on coastal trolls, mossy hair on swamp trolls, or rocky hides on mountain trolls. All their features are prone to being either gangly or stunted, but never in proportion, and yet their bodies hold more power than their ungainly appearance would suggest.

While many live solitary existences, some Trollkin count themselves among tribes that can be found in every climate. These tribes are usually led by a chieftain or priestess and practice a form of animistic shamanism. Trollkin are considered to be somewhat slow in their mindset – they are reluctant to be roused to any kind of action, preferring to lead lives bordering on the slothful. Once angered, however, they are terrifying combatants. Trollkin are sometimes likened to unstoppable forces of nature rather than lesser beasts, so hard are they to kill.

The Lesser Giants

In the ancient times, the world was a battleground between the forces of the elves and giants. During this era, many of the more rugged regions were home to great empires of intelligent trolls. From island chains to mountain peaks, the hardiness of the troll-folk helped them to prosper in any environment, warring against orc and elf and their fellow giantkin in equal measure, and practicing a shamanistic religion drawing upon the elemental spirits. Over time, many of these trolls grew more diminutive, though more intelligent and receptive to learning the ways of magic as their civilizations coalesced. However, in the latter days of that age there was a great waning, and the old empires receded. The Trollkin dwindled, and many of their lands fell into ruin as they reverted to a more primitive existence.

Now the Trollkin are oftentimes mistaken for their near-mindless cousins, eking out a living in solitude or in small bands in the wilderness, along the coasts, in caves, or even in some of the long-forgotten ruins of their ancient holdings. It is rare for them to forge metal harder than gold, though there have been times when powerful Trollkin chieftains have allied with orc and goblin hordes to ransack and occupy the mountainhomes of the dwarves. Many have forgotten that the Trollkin even exist, or that they ever commanded the power they once did. The Trollkin still remember, and when not focused on maintaining a traditional, survivalist lifestyle they dream of the day they might rebuild their grand empires of old.

Trollkin Names

Trollkin usually have simplistic names suited to their primitive culture, though some of their naming conventions still evoke the ancient power of the great troll civilizations of the elder days. Tribal affiliation will usually be denoted by a title, though notable individuals may substitute titles they have earned for themselves.

Male: Gangur, Hungan, Jor, Logi, Nagul, Ogun, Rada, Sobo, Thok, Wedo

Female: Atla, Bestla, Dufa, Galp, Gede, Grila, Kari, Kraka, Moll, Risi

Titles: Badeye, Beastspear, Caveborn, Flame-Eater, Hillsmasher, Irongut, Scarhide, Seagullet, Stonebraid, Trunklegs

Trollkin Traits

Ability Score Increase

Your Constitution score increases by 2, and your Strength score increases by 1.

Age

Trollkin reach adolescence at just 3 years of age, though are usually not considered adults until 8 to 10 years old. Trollkin have naturally long lifespans, living around 200 years on average. Some Trollkin may live even longer, reaching up to 400 years at the oldest.

Alignment

Though they may keep to tribal laws, Trollkin still have a naturally chaotic bent. It is not uncommon for them to commit acts of barbarity, and their shamans may call upon dark powers, but overall the race merely does what it can to survive, making them neutral on average.

Size

Trollkin stand between 7 and 8 feet tall and weigh between 280 and 400 pounds. Your size is Medium.

Speed

Your base walking speed is 30 feet.

Darkvision

Though you do not suffer negative effects from sunlight, trolls are still adapted for nocturnal and subterranean life. You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light, and in darkness as if it were dim light. You can’t discern color in darkness, only shades of gray.

Regeneration

You can spend your Hit Dice as a bonus action. You may only spend one Hit Die at a time, and you may not use this ability if you have been affected by fire or acid damage within the last turn. You regain Hit Dice as normal.

Unstoppable

You can give yourself advantage on any Constitution saving throw. After you use this trait, you cannot do so again until you finish a short or long rest.

Powerful Build

You count as one size larger when determining your carrying capacity and the weight you can push, drag, or lift.

Earthblood

You are acclimated to a specific type of environment. Choose one of the following to be your environment of origin: arctic, coastal, desert, forest, grassland, hill, mountain, swamp, or Underdark. Solo travel cannot be impeded for you while in this climate, you cannot be affected by environmental detriments such as temperature or hazardous terrain, and you have advantage on Survival checks while in this type of region.

Languages

You can speak, read, and write Common and Giant.

#dungeons and dragons #d&d #5e #player race #homebrew #troll

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huilian · 4 years

Text

Hello people! Since my grades for this semester have been released, I’m here to give some tips (and to remind myself what works) on studying! Since I’m a glutton for punishment, I took bio and chem classes that life sci kids take, and also math and physics classes and physics kids take. (Why? Ask me again in three years, please.) Also, I took an elective in Women Studies, which was the absolute highlight of my week (I want to minor in it, but I don’t have enough credits for that… more’s the pity).

So! This year I got A+ in every sciency class, and an A in the women studies one, and I want to make this post to share some tips!

Make your own notes

This is the absolute holy grail of studying tips, for me. I’ve been making summaries of things for years and it works extremely well for me. This is a way of interacting with the material, while also organizing all the bits and bobs of information that you have. I combined my class notes, powerpoints, and readings (when I have them) into a single word doc or handwritten note. It really helps to make connections between lectures, and it helps in understanding the material, since you’re actually writing it down. This also helps in determining which materials are important, and which ones are just not worth your time. Put diagrams and pictures in this document too, because you are going to need those when you study.

If you do this, voila! You just have a study guide to study from when midterms/finals come. You don’t have to go searching for things when you’re studying, just focus on memorizing/understanding/connecting those things together.

The only downside is this take TONS of time. For chem and physics I did them by hand, and it took me hours to do that, but since handwriting things help with memorizing, you will spend less time when you’re reviewing! For bio i basically just gave up in handwriting things (too many shits to write down) and type them, but compiling things from all my notes and readings do still take a lot of time. It works like a charm though, so as much time as it takes, I’ve been doing this religiously for years and I kept my A+ (or its equivalent).

Cheat your brain

Find a place (or several) to study! You’ll then associate that place with studying and consequently feel weird when you’re there but not studying. When I don’t have the motivation to study I normally just force myself to be there, faf around for several minutes, and then suddenly the motivation to study comes. (Might not work for everyone though)

My mom drilled into my head that I SHALL NEVER SIT/LAY DOWN ON BEDS WHEN I HAVE OUTSIDE CLOTHES ON, so when I want to force myself up, I change to my outside clothes. Then I can’t laze around on my bed anymore (or fear the wrath of my mother. I’m literally halfway across the world, but she will know. SHE WILL KNOW.) and so I have to get up and do some work.

Use your damn resources!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OFFICE HOURS ARE MY SAVIOUR. Very few people actually go to office hours, and yeah, it sucks to be inside your classroom building for more than you actually have to, but this time is your one-to-one time with your prof, people. A lot of my friends are afraid to go to office hours because they think you have to have like, high-end questions to ask them. Spoiler alert, you don’t. I like to just go there and do my homework/assignment on office hours, in front of them, so when I have trouble doing it I literally just raise my head and call them over. It’s heaven. Really. Did I say that very few people actually go to office hours? Your prof will be bored there, and you coming would be the highlight of their day. Bonus points are that they will know you and then you can ask dumb questions to them and they will answer (I have asked so many dumb questions to my profs. Like, really really dumb. They still answered them.)

Ps. they will also want to give you letters of recommendation. I scored a lab volunteer (that is currently on hold because of covid) as a first-year because of those letters of recommendation.

Pps. If you’re still scared of your prof’s office hours, go to your TA’s! Sometimes they have them, and those are also my saviour. Please please just go to office hours.

If you have writing centers or writing advisors, schedule an appointment with them a few days before your essay is due. You will then have a deadline that’s a few days before the actual deadline, saving you from the panic of not having anything written the day before the deadline, and you will get so much help. They will tear your writing apart and piece them together to be something better than you could ever imagine. Please just go to them.

For you math kids (or those who need a math class), desmos, wolfram aplha, symbolab, and all those websites/apps are amazing. But, don’t fall into the trap of using them mindlessly. I normally use them for tedious computations and/or to check my work. At the very least, try doing it first before putting it in those websites. Remember, you don’t have those websites when you’re taking midterms/finals.

Still use them though. Especially for computations that you know you can do. It saves so much time.

If your prof/TA offer extra lectures or office hours, grab it with both hands and run with it. Seriously, just do it.

Use spell/grammar checker on your laptop. Please just do it. It saves so much time and effort.

DO YOUR WORK!

Yeah, yeah, this is on every single tip you will ever see, but this is true. Do your work now, and you will save time when studying for midterms/finals. For things like math and physics and chem, doing your work now guarantees you understand what’s going on now, so that you don’t go half the semester barely understanding what’s going on and have to cram everything before the midterm. Doing the work is really really important because that’s how you learn, so please just do them regularly. You will be lost and confused if you don’t.

Do your readings! Even if you don’t understand a single word being said in your readings, skim them before class. You’ll then recognize things in lectures, and that will jog your memory. One of my prof once said that if you read the material before lecture, even if you don’t understand it, your first exposure to that material won’t be on the lectures, so you actually learn/understand something from the lectures, instead of just seeing them for the very first time.

Do the assignments! My prof once told the class about a student that did great on midterms and finals, but never submit any of their assignment, and that student barely pass the class. DO YOUR ASSIGNMENTS

Do the extra credit, if you have them. My women studies class have participation grades, my bio class have participation, my friend’s physics class have extra quizzes. If you can, do them. My friend barely passed his midterms, but got a solid B+ in his final grade because he did all the extra credits. It helps you by adding the opportunities in which you can interact with the material too!

Go to lectures. Please. Your prof knows what they want you to know, and so those things ARE GOING TO BE ON TESTS. Just go to lectures. I know it sucked, but please just go.

Miscellaneous

Take breaks! This is also on every study tips you can ever find, but this is very important. One piece of advice I once got was that your brain is a muscle, so exercise it the way you would every other muscle. You don’t go bench-pressing 100kg of weights for hours on end. You go to the gym for a few hours, then you rest. Treat your brain like that.

Don’t schedule one-hour breaks between classes. It’s not long enough to do anything of actual worth, unless you want that one-hour to be a full-on break. Then go ahead. But don’t think you can do any work of actualy worth in an one-hour break. (It’s because a one-hour break between classes are not actually one hour. You have the time cut off from leaving the previous class, and I usually dither because I know I don’t have anything afterwards. Then you have the time cut off from going to the next class, where I also usually take my time. So a one-hour break between classes are actually more like a half-hour.)

Schedule in buffer time! You know how sometimes shit happens? This is your fail-safe. Your buffer, to help maintain a pH of sanity. A half-hour here or there. This time can be used if your bus is late, or if you suddenly misjudge how long it will take you to do your assignment, or if you suddenly find yourself needing to curl up in a ball because of cramps. Don’t schedule anything here. You can use it as a break if you don’t need it, but normally you will need it anyways, so don’t keep a few slots open in your schedule to be a buffer.

Make friends in your lectures! Then you will have at least one reason to go to your lectures. As a bonus you will have someone to study with too!

Find something nice for you to do, just for yourself. I take ballet classes every week and forget about everything I have to do when I’m in ballet class. It keeps you sane.

So there you are folks! Stay sane and stay healthy!

#study tips #lian writes #but not really?#i don't know #I hope this can help people

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

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Today on the TNT loop, a wonderful direct callback to 15.09 and 15.10, via 4.15, 4.16 and 4.17...

I need to start out by reminding everyone that the entire purpose of s4 was to manipulate Sam and Dean into “playing their roles,” even before they knew their roles existed as roles. Cosmically fated to act out a specific story for the entertainment of a bored God. Remember, they’re about to learn of the existence of “Chuck the Prophet” who’s been writing their lives down, in explicit detail, and publishing them as a series of pulpy horror novels. Hooray, 4.18, up next for me.

But I really need to pause here, because the sort of manipulations that Sam and Dean suffered through in 15.10, while I’ve already pointed out a lot of other “silly” episodes they referenced:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/190430063655/mittensmorgul-episodes-i-expect-1510-to-remind

I’m gonna now add 4.17 to that list, too, because holy HECK.

Remember the setup to this episode? 4.15 and 4.16 both? Where Dean had been DIRECTLY MANIPULATED into stopping Alistair from breaking another seal-- to “kill death twice” by ritually murdering two reapers-- a hunt that Cas “tricked” Sam and Dean into taking on by literally making them think that Bobby had sent them on that hunt.

Then 4.16 used Uriel to manipulate both Dean AND Cas into believing they needed to torture information out of Alistair. The goal was to break both Dean AND Cas here, because Uriel knew all along that Alistair was literally just a distraction, a diversion from his own actions, recruiting angels for Team Lucifer and murdering those who refused to join him. But also breaking Dean’s will to just... do what he’s told. Because Dean himself was never destined to be anything more than a tool to Heaven, a vessel for Michael to wear to the apocalypse. Of course, Dean didn’t know any of that yet, and neither did Cas. He knew Dean was “important,” but truly didn’t know why.

At the end of 4.16, lying in a hospital bed, Dean felt hopeless:

Castiel: It's not blame that falls on you, Dean, it's fate. The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it. Dean: Lucifer? The Apocalypse? What does that mean? Hey! Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean! Castiel: I don't know. Dean: Bull. Castiel: I don't. Dean, they don't tell me much. I know our fate rests with you. Dean: Well, then you guys are screwed. I can't do it, Cas. It's too big. Alastair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not—I'm not strong enough. Well, I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me.

Tell me this isn’t super similar to his state earlier in s15. Let’s say... at the beginning of 15.06, holed up in his room in his bathrobe, bingewatching tv shows and eating cereal directly from the box. By the end of the episode, he still wasn’t sure what was real and what was Chuck’s doing in his life, and he’s absolutely right to question that, given his lifetime of experience being manipulated in exactly this way by higher cosmic powers.

In 4.17, that higher cosmic power was Zachariah, literally giving Sam and Dean alternate memories and directly inserting them into entirely different lives to prove a point. In 4.17, the Winchesters had their lifetime of knowledge of the Supernatural excised from them-- and even all the practicalities of hunting like “how to buy guns,” and “how salt can repel ghosts,” and “how to fight.” Throughout the episode they were forced to re-learn all of these skills for themselves, ironically using Ghostfacers videos about ghost hunting that directly referenced information that the Ghostfacers had learned from “The Winchesters.” Very much like how the Winchesters were “depowered” in 15.10, and yet... they were saved because of their prior relationship WITH GARTH, in which they had not only saved Garth’s life a couple of times, but had also learned things and imparted knowledge and information TO GARTH in the past.

I guess what I’m attempting to point out here is the direct parallel to Chuck’s active manipulation of Sam and Dean in 15.10. They may not have had their memories removed like Zachariah did to them, but they’ve been reset to a similar sort of “baseline” status where NOTHING they do actually works this time. It’s... it’s almost a perfect inverse of 4.17.

Literally the episode leading up to the first appearance of Chuck The Author in canon.

Tell me Dabb isn’t explicitly suggesting an inverse parallel here, framing everything as Dean’s CHOICE, when it’s been one grand manipulation to pressing him into making that choice through any means necessary-- up to and including direct deceit and false narrative:

Zachariah: Believe me, I had no interest in popping down here into one of these smelly things. But after the unfortunate situation with Uriel, I felt it necessary to pay a visit, get all my ducks in a row. Dean: I am not one of your ducks. Zachariah: Starting with your attitude. Dean: So, what? This was all some sort of a lesson? Is that what you're telling me? Wow. Very creative.

and

Zachariah: I know, I know. You're not strong enough. You're scared. You've got daddy issues. You can't do it, right? Dean: Angel or not, I will stab you in your face. Zachariah: All I'm saying is it's how you look at it. Most folks live and die without moving anything more than the dirt it takes to bury them. You get to change things. Save people, maybe even the world. All the while you drive a classic car and fornicate with women. This isn't a curse. It's a gift. So for God's sakes, Dean, quit whining about it. Look around. There are plenty of fates worse than yours. So are you with me? You wanna go steam yourself another latte? Or are you ready to stand up and be who you really are?

Zachariah KNEW the bigger plan all along. Here he showed Dean an “alternate life” that was entirely manufactured to be a “false choice.” Dean, because of who he is as a person, would never have chosen that corporate falsehood. Just like he rejected Zachariah’s intended lesson in 5.04. And Gabriel’s lesson in 5.08.

Dean... doesn’t want to play his role. His role sucks. It’s a river of crap that would send most people howling to the nuthouse, after all... oh... wait, that’s a direct quote from 5.09, aka another episode where Chuck is directly involved, and directly manipulates them into a hunt... Dean... is not a fan...

But... we also learn something that I still think is true, and that I still think is IMPORTANT to s15. And important to Chuck as a character on this show we’re watching. I really don’t think he’s omniscient. I don’t think he can actually see every possible outcome. I don’t think he can control everything. But I think, and will always think, that because of Free Will, his ability to truly influence the outcome of his story is hindered. Unless he can use everything he CAN manipulate to crush Sam and Dean’s free will... to force them into making choices directly against their own interest, because of their perceived situation, or in this new post 14.20 universe, Chuck’s perceived intent for them.

Sam and Dean (and Cas! remember this was also about his discovery of the “rot” in Heaven, and how he himself had been used and manipulated into helping start the apocalypse) spent s4 thinking they were doing the right thing, because they’d been lied to from the start. When they questioned their path, questioned each other, their actions were met with often comically implausible verging on outright ridiculous situations that nudged them back into this cosmically “destined” series of events.

And Chuck’s history of this is directed at Sam and Dean in different ways-- Sam through the psychological manipulation and emotional angst, and Dean through physically hindering him. Chuck needed to break Sam’s trust in Dean, and replace it with the false belief that he was actually doing the right thing back in s4:

SAM: Dean’s not... he's not Dean lately. Ever since he got out of hell. He needs help. CHUCK: So you got to carry the weight? SAM: Well, he's looked out for me my whole life. I can't return the favor? CHUCK: Yeah, sure you can. I mean, if that's what this is. SAM: What else would it be? CHUCK: I don't know. Maybe the demon blood makes you feel stronger? More in control? SAM: No. That's not true. CHUCK: I'm sorry, Sam. I know it's a terrible burden – feeling that it all rests on your shoulders. SAM: Does it? All rest on my shoulders? CHUCK: That seems to be where the story's headed. SAM: Am I strong enough to stop Lilith tonight? CHUCK: I don't know. I haven't seen that far yet.

Chuck needs to break Sam’s will in 15.09, but Dean? Dean he needed to break his car, break him physically, and break his belief in his own choices and actions. Break his belief in his own identity. Because Dean’s will is not so easily shattered. He’s still willing to punch God in the face, for all of this.

And that’s how we end up with 15.10...

bonus destiel content: Dean’s very first prayer to Cas, ever, is asking him for help to stop Chuck’s prophecy from coming true. Dean question’s Cas’s “mission,” i.e. the thing Dean is unaware Cas has been questioning himself all this time, in the face of Dean’s refusal to just sit around and wait for Chuck’s prophecies to happen to them. Cas supplies him with the bit of information Dean needs to interfere and break the prophecy. I’ve written about the importance of that act before:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/187983341865/i-always-thought-anna-said-only-an-angel-can-kill

(and it bothers the everloving fuck out of me that people still don’t see that Chuck is a flim-flam artist of the highest order, and is the most unreliable narrator in the history of unreliable narrators, because not only is he biased to his own view of the story, he has the power to make the story conform to his own views, even if he can’t fully control each of the characters like glorified puppets)

and then Lizbob has also written about this scene and its import:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/169437649690/elizabethrobertajones-dean-cas-are-in-love-a

which is incredible when paired with Dean’s most recent prayer to Cas in 15.09, not about a problem he needs help fixing, but directly about their relationship... to quote Layla from 1.12, speaking on the subject of prayer, there’s a miracle right there.

#spn 4.15 #spn 4.16 #spn 4.17 #spn 4.18 #spn 15.10 #spn 15.09 #chuck's process #sam sympathizes and dean empathizes #spiders georg of the tnt loop #s15 meta rewatch #destiel #it's spirals all the way down #the scheherazade of supernatural #spn 1.12

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