#BUT I DON’T *WANT* TO GET REAL! (i want to turn people into dinosaurs!)

[benbamboozled]

I just…HOW can you say that someone is more cop THAN THE GUY WHO WAS LITERALLY IN-CANON an ACTUAL COP???

[steddieas-shegoes]

A little thing based on this post because it wouldn’t leave my brain:

“I just don’t understand why you won’t try to read it.”

Steve had heard Dustin say this exact sentence hundreds of times at this point.

“I mean, do you know how to read?”

Mike was an asshole. Steve loved him because he was part of the group and he’d been through the same things, but he was such a dick.

“Yes, I know how to read. I just don’t.”

Dustin rolled his eyes.

“If you don’t wanna read nerd shit just say so.”

Steve threw his arms up in frustration.

Steve was a nerd at heart. As a child, he would beg the nanny to take him to the library and the science museum that had real dinosaur fossils. There was something about the peace of exiting his reality and finding a new one among fantasy and history that was indescribable, even to this day.

But as he grew into his looks, he grew out of that phase. At least around others.

And with no nanny around to take him places, he settled for just being the popular guy who hung out with his friends after practice and threw parties at his forever empty house on Saturdays.

But secretly, he still found himself enjoying books late into the night. Never school books, or his grades would’ve been good enough for college, but always incredible novels that took him to other worlds with the most impressively brave people.

And then he lived a nightmare. A few times over. With concussions at every turn.

Now, anytime he tried to read, his head started pounding, his vision got blurry, and ears would start ringing. He stopped trying altogether after Starcourt, but he’d never really let go his love of books.

He occasionally let Robin read to him, but she would get distracted by a plot or character and go on a tangent, leaving Steve confused about what the actual story was. He hated being confused.

“Stevie, you got a minute?”

Eddie had been watching from his spot at the end of the table, where he’d been cleaning up the mess of D&D. He usually made the kids do it, but he’d let them off the hook tonight when they beat the monster and escaped his trap.

Steve and Eddie were friends, definitely. Maybe not close ones, but friends.

Steve had a little crush, definitely. Or a big one. Maybe.

So when Eddie shows him attention, he somewhat shamefully receives it like he’s dying of thirst in a desert.

Robin is the only one who’s noticed so far, but if he keeps acting like a dog being called by his master anytime Eddie talks to him, someone else will comment on it.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Steve asked as he made his way to Eddie.

The kids took this time to talk amongst themselves about the game and what they think will happen next week, and Steve couldn’t have been more grateful.

“You don’t have to tell me, but.” Eddie was tapping his fingers nervously against his leg. “Do you not know how to read?”

“Uh. No I do. I mean I graduated high school. I know it’s hard to believe.”

“Not judging if you can’t, man. I mean, I took three senior years. I’m the last person who can judge.”

“Yeah, but you’re smart. You just didn’t like school,” Steve replied with a pat to his shoulder.

Eddie glanced down at the contact, eyebrow raising and then falling back to normal quickly.

“Just seems like you’d have read something by now to get them off your ass.”

And that’s a really good point. Maybe he should’ve just suffered through a migraine so they’d leave him alone about it.

But migraines left him out for days sometimes, and he couldn’t exactly afford that right now.

“I guess it’s just not worth the migraine.”

He hadn’t meant to actually say it. He didn’t want Eddie to feel bad or for him to try to make him feel better about it or ask questions or talk about the concussion thing.

Actually, did he even know about the concussion thing? Things?

“You get migraines when you try to read?” Then realization hit Eddie hard. “Steve. Do you like reading?”

Something about the way Eddie was looking at him, like he was sad for him but not pitying him, made Steve want to cry.

“I used to, yeah.”

“Everyone out! Your parents are gonna have to come get you! No questions, no explanations, go!” Eddie yelled to the room.

Everyone stared blankly at him before they started protesting, Dustin loudest of all.

“Steve’s my ride!”

“Not anymore. Hitch a ride with Lucas.”

“But Lucas’ mom always squeezes my cheeks and tells me she hopes I never lose my baby fat.”

“She speaks for all of us. Get the hell out of here!”

Steve was actually impressed. Maybe a little turned on? God, he was a disaster.

As everyone cleared out of the room, Eddie patted the seat next to him. When Steve sat down, Eddie scooted his chair so close to him, his knees were touching Steve’s.

“Alright, so you’re gonna tell me about what books you like and what books you want to read and we’re gonna get started.”

Steve blinked at him. “Huh?”

“You have a list I’m sure.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Okay, then we better get started.”

“I mean, I’ve tried. I appreciate it, but even focusing on one page makes my eyes burn and my head hurt.”

“Got that. I’m not asking you to read.”

Sometimes Steve was worried the concussions had actually knocked some screws loose. He wasn’t getting it.

“I’m gonna read to you, Stevie.”

“You don’t have to do that. I’m sure a lot of them will be movies and I can just watch them.”

“It’s not the same. You know it’s not.”

He was right. Steve didn’t have much patience for movies. And sometimes even those gave him migraines if there were a lot of bright lights and explosions.

“Yeah. But still. You don’t have to do that. You might not even like the books.”

“Ah, this isn’t a completely free service, my liege.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I don’t have extra money to pay you, dude.”

“Not money. I get to pick a book to read to you when we finish the first book you pick.”

“Is it The Hobbit?”

“It is,” Eddie looked so smug.

“Well, that was my first choice,” Steve stared back, equally as smug.

“So, your house is empty.”

“Yep.”

“And I’m assuming you own this book.”

“I do.”

“And it’s getting late.”

Steve looked out the window at the pitch black skies.

“It’s late.”

“So I could stay and read you to sleep.”

“Won’t I miss some of the book?”

“I’ll stop when you’re asleep.”

Steve’s heart was practically begging him to say yes. Eddie reading to him in his bed? Possibly falling asleep together? Maybe even waking up together? It couldn’t be a better proposition. Well. It could.

“Will you stay even if I fall asleep?”

Eddie smirked. “If that’s what you want, sweetheart.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d called Steve that, but it was the first time it felt like he meant it in a non-teasing way.

“Okay.”

So they both changed into some of Steve’s comfy clothes, got into his bed, and Eddie started reading The Hobbit.

Just as he was during D&D and real life, Eddie was animated, providing different voices for different characters and often giving long pauses to let Steve soak in what the words meant.

Steve didn’t even have to ask him to do that. He just did.

Steve fell asleep somewhere between halfway and the end of chapter two, but Eddie stayed.

And they woke up the next day with Steve’s head resting on Eddie’s chest, Eddie’s arms wrapped around him to keep him as close as possible.

They finished the The Hobbit in a week, and because Eddie was now committed to making sure Steve was well-read, they started moving through his list rapidly, falling for each other in new ways every time Eddie turned a page.

Part 2 (Angst)  / Part 2 (Fluffy) /  Part 2 (Explicit)

[cas-skz]

Back to you (Crumble pt 2.)

Wooyoung x FEM!reader

| non-idol au | drama/romance | 18+!! |

Weeks apart from Wooyoung and San have effected you mentally and physically. Your travel companion has no luck breaking through to you and with all your energy drained, you pass out. What happens after the hospital will change everything.

[writers note]

THANK YOU SO SO FLIPPIN MUCH!!!! I seriously always feel so touched when I get good feed back & responses. It means a lot & I appreciate your support so so much!!!

I hope this pulls at your heart strings just as much as the first

Tag List: @a-teez-4-exo @ppeachyttae @pearltinyy @yujuvly @kiwimash12 @neteyamandloakisfoine @mayblues @miaatiny

Every part of you felt numb. Your body was heavy and heart shattered. The whole event of last night played through your head over and over again, hurting more each time.

You didn’t want it to be real. You didn’t want San and Wooyoung to be gone.

“Wake up. We’re here.” The males voice came from the front seat.

You sat up to look at your surroundings, a small cabin on a lake front with not much else in sight. To most it would be peaceful, but to you it was hell at the moment.

You took Ella from her car seat, holding her in your lap as you sighed quietly. “Guess we’re here.” You told her, exiting the car.

“Where are we?” You asked the male, who was grabbing the bags from the car.

“Somewhere safe.” He simply replied, motioning for you to follow him to the cabin.

You rolled your eyes at his answer, following inside. It was decent enough, a living room with tv, the kitchen was stocked with new pots and pans, and a pile of groceries were stacked on the floor.

You made your way down the hall, glancing in at the bathroom before finding your and Ella’s bags in a room at the end of the hall. You got her freshened up and grabbed a bottle before setting in a crib that had been set up.

You laid on your side on the bed across from the crib, watching as she played with the toys and stuffies Woo had grabbed for her. You couldn’t help but cry again, feeling hopeless and confused.

San and Wooyoung had always kept the business side of things hush hush, but over time you started to pick up on little things. Woo arranged boxing matches where people placed high bets to watch San fight an opponent.

99% of the time San was victorious, in exception for Leeknow. Every few weeks the boys would come home after a loss and chat over how to defeat him the next time. Woo always said the loss left a dent in their wallets.

The knock on the door woke you up. You groaned quietly, not even realizing you had fallen asleep.

“Sorry…she’s been fussing. I can take her if you want.” The male said.

It was only now you realized who had been accompanying you this whole time. “Mingi?”

“Yea..I didn’t think you remembered.” He chuckled, taking a few steps towards the crib.

“No.” You said quickly, “I got her.”

You rushed to your feet to swoop Ella into your arms, hushing her as you dug through one of the bags.

“Sorry.” Mingi said quietly, scratching the back of his head. “I have dinner going. It’ll be ready soon.” He smiled softly before turning and heading back to the kitchen.

You didn’t exactly remember Mingi, but he had been one of your elementary school friends and you thought he’d left town years ago.

Once you found a soother for Ella, you both made your way into the kitchen. You didn’t know how long you’d been asleep, but the cabin looked much cozier than when you arrived.

A small play area had been set up in the living room, which you placed Ella into after giving her a kiss on the forehead.

“Are you hungry?” Mingi asked from the kitchen.

“Uh, no. No thanks. Ella’s probably starving.”

“I made her mashed peas and potatoes. There’s a few pieces of pork chop cooling for her too.”

To your surprise, the food at prepared correctly for her age and was made into a smiley face on a cute dinosaur plate.

“Don’t worry, I know how to not kill a baby. I have a three year old and a handful of nieces and nephews.” Mingi smirked, passing you the plate and a baby spoon.

“Thanks.” You mumbled quietly.

You sat inside Ella’s play area and propped her inside the bumbo seat before feeding her dinner.

“I think she approves.” Mingi said from the kitchen table as he munched down on his own meal.

You ignored his comment, focusing on keeping Ella’s face clean as your thoughts wondered to Woo and San. You couldn’t help but worry and wonder where they were, if they were okay. Not to mention the hurt you felt from then suddenly leaving you.

The day creeped into night and you went along with your normal routine with Ella, bathing her and reading a couple of stories before settling her down in bed with a bottle.

Mingi had made himself comfortable in the smaller bedroom, setting up a little gaming station and some mood lighting. It seemed like he was always making someplace feel like home.

“You still haven’t eaten.”

His deep voice creeped out from his room, you peaked in to see him sitting on a bean bag chair, playing gta on a small tv screen.

“I just don’t feel hungry. I’m fine though.” You smiled softly before turning towards the bathroom. “I’m gonna take a shower. Do you mind listening out for her?”

“No problem at all.”

The hot water washed over your face as you sobbed as quiet as you could. There was a million questions running through your head. Why San would just send you off without explanation. Why they couldn’t go with you. There was no off button to the mess in your head.

As you opened the bathroom door, Mingi gave you a small wave, “She’s snoring. I’m heading to sleep soon.” He stretched out before standing up and heading to the door, leaning onto the side as he started to close it.

“Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks. Night.”

You tried to comfort yourself with Woo’s shirt, the familiar sent of him brought you mixed emotions, which you tried your best to push aside. At some point you drifted to sleep on your tear stained pillow, thought it was nothing compared to falling asleep in Woo’s arms as he fucked you slowly.

The next few days felt numb. You went through day by day, moment by moment just focusing on Ella. You were a mess. You had barely eaten, barely spoken to Mingi. The only update you had gotten was that Leeknow had thrown a fight and his people were angry with the loss.

You were too exhausted to focus on what was being told to you as Mingi filled you in the latest events.

“I guess it’s almost resolved. There was some sort of confrontation but they ended up actually chatting.”

Your eyes tried to focus on Mingi cleaned dishes, but the room started to spin.

“If all goes well, you should be going home pretty so-”

Your body fell to the ground with a hard thud as you blacked out. The lack of food and hours of crying finally had you hitting a brick wall.

Mingi cursed as a glass dropped from his hand, he ran to your side and patted your face a few times. “Fuck. Come on, wake up.”

He grabbed your glass of water off the table and splashed it on your face, “Y/N.” He tapped your face a little harder as you woke a bit, still very fuzzy and spaced.

You remember being in the car as Mingi drove towards the nearest hospital. Ella was strapped in her seat and you laid fading in and out on the seat next to her.

The beeping of a heart monitor rang in your ears as you came out of unconsciousness, you mumbled to yourself as the nurse greeted you and let you know what was going on.

“We gave you some fluids but you’re going to need to eat before you leave, other than that, you and the baby are overall fine.”

“What?” Your tone was unexpectedly harsher than you expected.

“Well we had to run a blood test just to make sure it was lack of nutrients…I-I’m sorry, if you didn’t know.”

You stared blankly for a moment, “No-“ you paused to look at her, offering a small smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” You laughed quietly as a tear fell down your cheek. “Thank you.”

After following the doctors orders and apologizing to Mingi and Ella for not taking care of your self, you were happily on your way home.

Though your heart ached for Wooyoung more than ever, you couldn’t help but smile down at your stomach.

“I think you should name them Grey.”

“Grey?”

“Yeah. It’s my favorite color - well actually charcole, but that’s a weird name for a kid.”

You shook your head and laughed as the drive continued, filled with small chat and plans to make the best of things.

“By the way” Mingi started as he pulled into the long driveway down to the cabin, he paused and quickly checked his phone before pointing to a car parked near the house. “You have a visitor.”

Your eyes filled with tears at the sight of your brother as the car came to a stop, you rushed out and over to hug him tightly.

“I swear to god if you ever do that again”

“It won’t happen again. Ever.”

“Promise.”

“Promise. We’re going straight.”

San explained how Wooyoung had made a deal with Leeknow’s people to get them out of the game and in exchange they would own and operate a car repair shop.

As San continued to speak, your eyes drifted to the cabin door opening and you took off running towards Wooyoung as he walked out.

Tears were streaming down your face as you leaped into his arms, kissing his lips as deep as you could.

“You came back.” You whispered against his lips, pressing your head against his.

“I’m not going anywhere ever again.”

“Good. Ella and her little brother or sister are gonna need their daddy.”

Woo looked down at you with a look of shock and wonder, which you nodded a few times to confirm what he was thinking.

He wrapped his arms around you again, spinning you around as he kissed your cheek repeatedly.

“Get a room!” San yelled with a laugh.

Woo gave him the finger as he carried you back into the cabin and closed the door behind him.

You laughed in his arms and held onto him until he put you back on the ground, “Go get your daughter.” You laughed, giving him another kiss.

“Our daughter.” He whispered.

[catfern]

cowboy!ellie headcanons

pairing: ellie williams x afab!reader

music: roses are falling - orville peck

word count: 1.2k

warnings: fingering (briefly), drunk sex-ish, guns??, yearning and just sappy shit mainly im in a vulnerable state

an: this is shit brainrot bc i've played too much rdr2 and i want ellie to let me ride her cowgirl style. this took me for-fucking-ever because i got acrylics and dropped my wpm from 108 to 67. also if i put out a poll asking what fic to post next would people vote

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✷ cowboy!ellie having the most pornographic, velvet-laced southern accent known to man. drawling out words in a whisper, that reassured wit sitting in her throat with a lopsided smirk. she’s such a tease, knowing how it gets to you, that ‘c’mon, sweetheart, you gonna make me wait f’you?’ after she trots ahead, glancing back at you under the wide brim of her hat. please, trying to make eye contact with ellie after a long day of riding (ifykyk), seeing just a glance of the veins in her neck, beads of sweat sitting in the little crevices as she leans down to her saddle bag. god, her hands!! and she looks at you, that knowing impatience and ‘okay there, darlin’?, and you can’t look at her, your head swimming and drowning in the molasses of her voice and too focused on the up, down, up, down, up trot of your horse.

✷ setting up camp for the night, bed mats a good distance away from each other, and you wake up, fire dying, moon high, and ellie is still awake, hands covered in dirt and ash and rust from her old revolver that she cleans too occasionally. the gentle scratch of charcoal on parchment, her body hunched over, protective like a creature, and when you call out to her, she TOSSES her journal into the dirt like it burned to touch. if the moon wasn’t so faint, you’d see the uncharacteristic blush fleeting across her cheeks, but too quickly, she tells you to go back to sleep, she’s just staying up to take care of the fire. you listen in a haze, and ellie tears out the five, maybe 6 pages?? of rough sketches, harsh lines etching out your body, your smile, your eyes, and stamps them into the cooling embers of the campfire.

✷ if we’re talking historically accurate cowboys, ellie is definitely the type to believe in dinosaurs!! it’s this new, fresh, science fad and everybody laughs at her for it, cause omg?? giant lizards?? nah!! but ellie is so adamant, reading every paper and pamphlet on the subject that she can get her hands on (assuming she can even read lets be so real), and she’ll tell you about it! small, reluctant meanders from more important topics, at first, but you’re kind and you listen to words either of you barely understand, and sure it’s a little bit boring, but she’s happy, and for some reason she makes it incredibly dynamic, crash coursing you on lizards that evolved (a buzz word in all her pamphlets) into BIGGER lizards.

✷ cowboy!ellie, the horse whisperer. she doesn’t teach you to ride, but you’ve never had a way with horses, cantankerous and rough, so you need a lil bit of assistance. ellie will take the lead, letting you rock behind her on your horse, your arms draped around her like common occurrence, and she’ll turn, ‘see? be gentle, she’ll listen. you’re a team, y’know?’

✷ ‘she just likes you more than me.’

✷ her laugh is boisterous, loud, it sounds like it belongs amongst the hills and caverns, like wind against rocks, ‘no one likes me more than you, flower.’

✷ one day, you’re just passing through a small town, nothing more than a few shops and scattered farm houses, and ellie spies an outlaw poster, poorly tacked to the community bulletin board. it’s her, badly sketched, sure. her chin is way too big, nose a bit askew, but it’s definitely her. and you laugh as she presses you frantically, ‘i don’t really look like this? do i?’ and it’s got some ridiculous nickname that definitely over-inflates her ego, ‘ellie 'longshot’ williams (no one has called her that ever) that she’ll parade it around like a medal

✷ ‘aw, love, do you need some help shootin’? don’t call me long shot for nothin’.’

✷ you’d get a bit vulgar, a bit defensive because, yeah, maybe ellie is actually good at shooting, and you could benefit from her teaching. but that fucking nickname, lording over your head with that lilt in her voice, and the childish, goading smile, you’d tell her to shove it somewhere the sun don’t shine and just pray luck guides your bullet.

✷ your now-so-serious scowl eats at her, so ellie has to swallow her boyish pride and shut up, simply falling behind you. gently tapping your shin with her boot to get you to adjust your stance, her hands stretching out over yours to feel out the barrel of the foreign pistol. they’re rough, calloused, unmade for this sort of gentle gesture, but you welcome the heat that they give. with a soft push and pull, like a tide she moves your fingers, your hands, to hold the gun well. her voice is a whisper as she instructs, ‘don’t hold it so loosely. stronger grip helps aim.’ 

✷ she’s shaking in her boots. a moment like this, tender, with you is scarcely shared. the closeness burns her chest as she feels you breathe against her, skittish but assured, ellie’s finger snaking around yours to settle on the trigger. you go to fire, and the recoil sends you backwards in a shock, ellie having to move her hands from the gun to your waist to keep you steady. you laugh something coarse, leaning back into her without a thought. adrenaline intimacy.

✷ ‘okay, maybe y’need a few more lessons before you get it right.’ it’s a selfish thought, but it cements ellie in that moment, with you just in her reach, and her revolver. she’d clean it for you.

✷ cowboy!ellie doing stupid shit, like taking longer detours to show you the scenery, the stretching fields and great mountain waterfalls, stopping to pick wildflowers (she’s a sap), or taking the extra care to saddle up your horse for you, securing the girth and not letting you touch it because ‘i don’t need you slippin’ on me.’ she takes care of you, out on the road, it’s not an official thing, but you’re off limits.

✷ ellie is kind, but sex with her isn’t. the first time, she’s terribly drunk, playing away her night in a saloon, at a poker table (she’s losing), and you’re sat at the bar, wearing that, and it’s violently throwing her off her game, so she decides to make it known that your presence is an interruption. dragging you upstairs, she’s unkind. ‘you’re not helping my luck, looking like that.’

✷ ‘how do you need me, then?’

✷ she tastes like cigarette smoke, and bourbon, and she smells like the sleek of rain on dry dirt, and feeling her all over you is intoxicating, rough. she’s quick, her lips aren’t soft but rather, a grating possession on your skin, a feeling that swallows you, melts you down in the heat of her hands. she swears, a lot, it sounds like disbelief but really, it’s a bribe. a prayer. ‘dear god, give me this, let me have this, and i will be devout.’ it’s primal, something uncontrollable. drunk, it’s worse. she loses herself in the haze, becomes complete disregard, her fingers inside you without hearing you, just feeling you. lost in you and she keeps pounding into you simply because she’s enraptured by the feeling of you clenching around her.

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #341: Mary Anning

hey y’all! would you like-a talk-a dino? no? too bad, here’s Mary Anning anyway. she’s an arcane trickster rogue to sell literal rocks to people at a profit (and get a cool dog), plus a primeval druid to summon a lightning-spitting plesiosaur. and i thought jurassic park was taking liberties…

check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

next up: shouldn’t he be istanbullos by now?

Ancestry & Background

despite having nautiluses for hair, Mary is still a Human, so she gets +1 Dexterity & Intelligence, as well as proficiency in Nature (old nature sure, but still nature) and the Tough feat for an extra 2 HP per level. she also used to be a sickly child before being nursed to health by a literal bolt of lightning yes that’s a thing that happened so she’s definitely being Rewarded by something. that gives her Insight and Persuasion proficiency, as well as the Skilled background for more proficiency in Mason’s Tools, Athletics, and History.

Ability Scores

your Intelligence should be as high as it can go. we don’t actually need it here, but you were the first person to figure out what an Ichthyosaur is (not a dinosaur) and what coprolites are (not something you want to touch bare-handed). second is Wisdom. half the difficulty of paleontology is finding the damn things. the other half is dodging the rockslides, which is why your Dexterity is also pretty high. this does mean your Charisma is lower than I’d like. you’re a fine saleswoman, but you didn’t get a lot of credit for the work you did. this means your Constitution is middling, and your Strength is as low as it gets. thankfully you can just reanimate the fossils now, so carrying them’s a lot easier.

Class Levels

1. Rogue 1: if we want to find fossils, you need to be damn good with a chisel first. also I’m not making the same mistake I made with Galatea, I’m not going to figure out how to have you wield a hammer in one hand and a chisel in the other officially, sorry. on the plus side, no matter how you use that chisel you can still Sneak Attack with it, adding 1d6 to the damage done as long as you have advantage on the attack or another friend next to them. all fossils are restrained (by rock), so you shouldn’t have any issue getting advantage. you also learn Thieves’ Cant, which is really just Cockney. finally, your Expertise in Nature and History will double your proficiency bonus when you make checks about old animals or natural history. suck it, publications!

also as a rogue you get proficiency in Dexterity and Intelligence saves, as well as Deception, Investigation, Perception, and Sleight of Hand, bc god knows you didn’t have enough skills just yet.

2. Rogue 2: second level rogues get a Cunning Action each turn, letting you dash, disengage, or hide as a bonus action. the early paleontologist gets the bone, as the assuredly real saying goes.

3. Rogue 3: we haven’t picked up all your fossil-hunting gear just yet- we still need some explosives, and a dog. thankfully, we can get both of those from being an Arcane Trickster! now you can cast spells using your Intelligence! okay I guess we actually did need that. anyway, your spell list is pretty restrictive, with only one spell that can be freely picked from the wizard spell list. the rest all have to be enchantment or illusion spells.

but before we talk spells, let’s talk Cantrips! Thunderclap will help remove solid rock, while Mold Earth will dig through loose dirt real fast. you also get Mage Hand which comes with its own Legerdemain, and that’s going to be Tray for this build! just have it do the dog shadow puppet thing to really sell the flavor. the original mage hand lasts a minute and is a floating ghost hand/dog that sticks near you, and you can use your action to move it and have it pick up objects, open doors, grab stuff from containers, or pour out liquids. you know, basic dog tricks. the legerdemain makes your dog a little more special, letting it pickpocket people, pick locks, and turn invisible. those are less doglike, but you can do all of those plus the og stuff as a bonus action now too.

as for your spells, Mage Armor will help you not die, Distort Value will help you sell rocks for enough money to live on, and Illusory Script will help you get out of whatever shitty contract super bunyan tried to force on you.

one last thing- you can use Steady Aim to give yourself advantage as a bonus action, so long as you haven’t moved yet and don’t plan on doing so this turn. the rocks are generally stationary, so it should be fine.

okay, okay, the real last thing- your sneak attack deals 2d6 extra damage now. this is what happens when you can afford the good chisels.

4. Rogue 4: fourth level rogues get their first Ability Score Improvement, so improve that Dexterity while you’re here. yes the rocks don’t move much, but you still have to worry about your AC. in the same “not getting hit” vein, you get Color Spray this level. this one’s just pocket sand. blast it in peoples’ faces and they go blind for a round.

5. Rogue 5: fifth level rogues have an Uncanny Dodge. whenever you’d take damage from an attack, you can use your reaction to take half damage instead. ideally you wouldn’t get hit at all, but it’s not like you can afford platemail. speaking of damage though, your sneak attack deals 3d6 damage now.

6. Rogue 6: sixth level rogues get another round of Expertise, so double down on Perception and Persuasion to find and sell fossils.

7. Rogue 7: seventh level rogues learn Evasion, which means every time you have to make a dexterity save you only take half damage on a failure and no damage on a success. your job consisted of going to rockslide mountain during rockslide season but you didn’t die until breast cancer took you out, there’s clearly something going on there.

also you learn Dragon’s Breath. it’s a secret tool that will help us later. for right now, your sneak attack deals 4d6 damage!

8. Druid 1: at level one, druids also learn Spells, which they use their Wisdom to cast. since we’re mixing spellcasters, you’ll have to check the PHB to figure out how many spell slots you have at any one time.

first, cantrips. Shillelagh lets you turn a club into a magical club that uses your wisdom to hit, so I guess if you really want to use a hammer, now you’ll be slightly better at it. you can also use Druidcraft to figure out the weather for today. I don’t know if rockslides count as “weather” exactly, but it doesn’t hurt to try.

as for your spells, druids can prepare spells from their whole list every day, so I highly recommend checking out whatever suits your fancy. the only spell I think is in-character right now though is Faerie Fire. sadly we can’t make it only work for women, but it’ll make it impossible for anyone hit by it to turn invisible, and attacks against them have advantage.

9. Druid 2: second level druids enter a circle, and the Circle of the Primeval was practically made for you! before we get into that we do need to mention your Wild Shape real fast, though you’re not using it if you’re staying in character- I’ll just say for now you could use it twice per short rest. more importantly, you can use those two per rest charges to summon a Primeval Companion instead! with this, you can summon a medium plesiosaurus that you can order around with your bonus action. it can’t swim just yet, but he’s just getting started! (this is where Dragon’s Breath comes back in, now you can have him shooting lightning right out the gate. or yourself, if you want.)

also, as a Keeper of Old, you can add a d4 to your history checks.

(and I will say now that yes, you could use wild shape charges to summon a Wild Companion if you want Tray to be a real dog, but that would mean he’d have an actual HP bar and I’m just not ready to deal with that.)

10. Druid 3: third level druids learn second level spells! Enhance Ability gives you advantage in one kind of ability check of your choice, while Locate Object can help you locate the nearest fossil. it’s kind of like cheating, but fuck it!

11. Druid 4: fourth level druids get a Wild Shape Improvement, so while plesi can’t swim yet, you can. somehow. also your Dexterity goes up again. also also you can cast Guidance now to give yourself or a friend a d4 to their next skill check, for when you really need to sell this next fossil.

12. Druid 5: fifth level druids learn third level spells! Conjure Animals is your go-to for your noble phantasm, letting you summon a bunch of smaller fossils all at one go, but you can also use Elemental Weapon if you want some electrical attacks for yourself too.

13. Druid 6: now that you’re a proper Prehistoric Conduit, you can cast spells as though they came from your plesiosaur. this means you can cast Dragon’s Breath on him without even having to touch him! given that he’s probably in the thick of battle, that’s most likely for the best. also, if he gets caught up in one of your spells, he gets advantage on his save against its damage and evasion for said spell, regardless of what kind of save it is.

14. Druid 7: seventh level druids get fourth level spells, like… actually there isn’t really any I want. maybe Elemental Bane if you can find a non-spell way to deal lightning damage? otherwise just upcast conjure animals.

15. Druid 8: eighth level druids get another WSI, so now you can fly if you want. also you can use your ASI to start improving your Charisma for better sales pitches.

16. Druid 9: ninth level druids get fifth level spells, and while Plessy doesn’t really talk much he’s probably a lot smarter than most dinosaurs, so I still think Awaken is a good pick for him. this’ll make the animal or plant you use it on sentient permanently, and it will be your friend for up to a month. past that point, how it feels about you is up to it.

17. Druid 10: let’s grab Mending real quick before we go into the level, I imagine your clothes probably get torn up pretty often in this line of work. also you now share a Titanic Bond with your living fossil, making it large enough to ride around on and it can finally swim! as a bonus, once per turn you can try and frighten a creature when you hit it with an attack or spell. everyone’s seen jurassic park by this point, they know not to stand near dinosaurs.

18. Druid 11: as we near the end, you can finally grab sixth level spells like Move Earth. for up to two hours after casting, you can reshape dirt, sand, or clay in a 40’ area that can be moved around, with each change taking ten minutes. also worth noting, this doesn’t work on stone or stone structures, so any rock formations might collapse if you use this too much. Make Sure Nothing You Love Is Under the Rocks.

19. Druid 12: use your last ASI to bump up your Charisma again! with a charisma score like that you could even make a 19th century englishman respect… well, literally anyone who isn’t also a 19th century englishman.

20. Druid 13: for our final level you gain access to seventh level spells, but again there aren’t really any I want. sorry to end it on a sour note, but now you can upcast your animal conjuring and lightning breath, so that’s neat!

Pros & Cons

Pros:

druids have access to some powerful aoe spells, and while we only really use Dragon’s Breath in this build, being able to shoot them out of a large creature means you can make those aoes even bigger, for free, and odds are Plesi’s gonna be just fine on top of all that.

as a rogue, you like having people around you. as a druid, you can make people around you. well, dinosaurs. still, everything goes with sneak attack, so you can pretty much guarantee that extra damage whenever you want.

rogues are always great at skill checks, and you take that to a whole new level. as long as you have anything to sell, your party will never have to worry about their budget. also, while we got a lot of skills for buying and selling, most of them are open-ended enough that they can be used for any skill check you want!

Cons:

it takes a while for this build to reach something I’d call a finished state. while it works fine for most of the game, riding around on a plesiosaurus is kind of the dream, and you can’t do that until level 17.

a lot of your spell list is spent on utility spells, and while they aren’t necessarily bad, it’s hard to think of when you’d really want the ability to dig for two hours over say, a fireball. they don’t even break rock, so good luck getting to actual fossils with Mold Earth.

both druid and rogue are pretty greedy classes- they both want you to focus on them as much as possible. because of this, we get neither a big sneak attack bonus nor druid’s busted capstone ability, which is rough. it’s not the end of the world since you’d probably never see any capstone ability used in regular D&D anyway, but still.

[decoy1]

Had a dream I was watching season 3 of Rottmnt, it was so vivid and now I’m sad that it isn’t real. So I’m writing some highlights from the dream before I forget.

Draxum and Casey focused episodes on what they were doing during the movie. There were really cool action sequences with original music and everything. It was so cool. There was one scene where the screen divided in half to show both battles.

Music during action scenes. There was a lot of it. I suspect it might have been because I watching Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur before going to sleep tho.

An episode premise: April finally had a good stable job. She was going steady for a whole 2 weeks setting a new record. The turtles got a little suspicious since April can never keep a job for long. Cue investigation, it turns out the job is a front. A front for a cult. April accidentally joined a cult. By the end of the episode April accidentally destroyed the cult in the same way she usually ends up losing her jobs. Alas the curse of April losing her job was too strong.

Another Episode Premise: Splinter and Draxum go undercover for an intel mission at a fancy club. The cover story being that they’re two friends who are trying to reconnect. They’re kinda bad at it since both argue like a married couple. This actually works in their favor tho as the person they’re trying to spy on to get info on is a huge romantic who is super invested in trying to get the two to “reconnect”. Both are forced by the turtles to play along for the sake of the mission. By the end of the episode Draxum and Splinter have performed a proposal, a wedding, a divorce, another re proposal, alongside with a remarriage, but not another divorce because they have to book it away because the turtles got captured. Which meant by the end of the episode Draxum and Splinter were still married.

Over Arching Story: Bishop was hunting down the remaining Foot Clan members. Which included trying to find former Foot Clan members for any information. Of course leading Bishop to Casey. Casey sends him on a wild goose chase as she goes on her own mission to find her former bosses. Being the B plot for a lot of the episodes. In one instance she teams up with Piebald in a gambling ring to win some info.

Running Gag: Casey Jr tries going into the dating world but has trouble since most people who are his age now, were adults during the apocalypse. So if he does find someone to date who he doesn’t recognize they usually end up being some form of “not real”. Highlight examples being: an alien who assumed a human persona to lure specimen to experiment on their ship, a demon with similar motives to the alien except it wanted to eat Casey Jr’s soul, an ai made by Bishop made to find potential Foot Clan members. What was funny was how obvious a lot of them were, like the alien wore a “I believe” shirt but with sharpie added “don’t”, changing it to “I don’t believe” (real master of disguise right here). The demon’s “flirting” was something along the lines of “if souls were edible and had taste, I bet yours would be a delicious meal that would amplify my demonic powers. If I had demonic powers, which I don’t because I’m a perfectly normal human. But in the hypothetical where I do-”. The ai when asked it’s favorite hobby responded with “breathing and being human”.

Bishop had an entire episode where he beat up different clans in his attempt to find the Foot Clan. Making some leave their old clans to join Bishop since he bested them in battle. But Bishop didn’t want a bunch of ninja (idk why not, that sounds incredibly useful) so he sent them on a wild goose chase but every time he did they came back having accomplished the goal. (Again I don’t understand why he kept acting like they were an annoyance when they were getting him things like THE GOD DAMN ELIXER OF EVERLASTING LIFE)

That’s all I have the energy to write. If I remember anything worth adding I will but I think these were all the highlights.

[darekasama]

Writeblr Interview Tag

Thank you for the tag, @sableglass!

Short stories, novels, or poems?

To read, all of the above. To write, I’m very good with journal articles and short stories but if left unchecked some of them might turn into giant novels.

What genre do you prefer reading?

Fantasy, romance, adventure, but really anything that brings me into a world different from ours. Also I have a weakness for dragons and animals in general, so anything that tangentially involves them is on my radar.

Are you a planner or a “write as I go” kind of person?

I am trying really hard to be a planner! My first big story project crashed because I tried to write as I go, resulting in a mess of scenes with the same ideas in five different pages at the same time (including the backside of hundreds of drawings) and too many re-starts to count. Lots of re-writing that didn’t fix the core issues, and ultimately more material added to the chaos. It did not work out.

My current WIP, Project TL, is going at a slower pace, but this time I made sure to organise everything from the start so it’s actually pretty neat and I have no trouble navigating my files or editing!

What music do you listen to while writing?

Sometimes it’s a song, sometimes just music, sometimes ambient sounds. Genre doesn’t matter either, as long as it is appropriate to the scene. In general terms, if the song/music reminds me of good memories, then it is on my list.

For a while I listened to BTS, then to a piano cover of Heaven Official’s Blessing, then to the  lo-fi hip-hop radio. It really, really varies.

Favorite books/movies?

I love all of Licia Troisi’s books, but especially the Chronicles of the Emerged World trilogy. I grew up with her books!

As for movies I think the LOTR movies could be my favourite.

Any current WIPs?

One! In short, Project TL is about dudes, drama and dinosaurs.

What happens if the mentor isn’t there to guide the young noble boy? Very avoidable teenage adventures of course! From getting his nose into the local drama to exploring dangerous forests, all while trying to find some great treasure to bring home. Also, a possible romance with his roommate (who can shapeshift into a dinosaur for reasons you’ll have to read later to know)...

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

^ Something of the sort, I suppose. My wardrobe is very basic.

Create a character description of yourself: 

I'm shy! My drawings are all you'll get :P

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Not really. Some aspects of people yes, but the people themselves are a big no-no. I prefer detaching the real person from the behaviour of a fictional character. I don’t even like to use names of people I know in stories.

Are you kill happy with your characters?

Sometimes I put them in very dangerous situations, but I actually prefer when they get out of them. Killing my darlings feels very bad. I want them to live happily, or to at least get a happy ending. They do deserve it.

Coffee or Tea while writing?

In the winter, tea! This year I found a very nice tea shop and got many different flavours to try. Some were a hit and some less so, but I'm pretty excited to start drinking again hot stuff once summer is over!

In any season other that winter, water and fruit juice. This girl does not have what it takes to drink sparkly water.

Slow or fast writer?

Slooooooow! I like to edit a lot. Althought English is not my first language, I feel like I got the grasp on ho to make a sentence flow well.

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

A lot comes from knowledge I acquired over the course of my life. Often I ask myself how a situation could go differently, or why things have to be a certain way. Then boom, a story is born. Most of them last a short few minutes while others make it to the end of the day. Only a handful stay with me for a lifetime, and those I hold very dearly.

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Let me be a cat! They have the perfect life literally in any world. Eat fancy (or not), lounge in the sun for hours, strut around the town, climb high places and even get loved for just meowing. I wish my life was like that.

Most fav book cliche:

Saving the damsell in distress. Does not have to be literal, but I love it when someone in trouble gets a helping hand!

Least favorite cliche:

Miscommunication. Please just talk to each other!!!!

Favorite scene to write?

Quiet moments together. Comfortable in each other’s presence, maybe joking a little, maybe opening up about what they really think… So many possibilities in a simple stress-free interaction.

Also cuddles and physical closeness in general.

Reason for writing?

I must release my visions into this world.

Tag list (because I think you are all cool people):

@mr-orion @glitched-dawn @silentstaresfanficandfanart @theverumproject @uraniumwriting @princefluph @xenascribbles @wordsandwordsbyme @shenaniganssketched @creative-author @thedeerwight

[stevetonyweekly]

SteveTony Weekly - July 16

 Hello, friends! Short list this week because I spent several days re-reading a favorite of mine. Enjoy the list and be sure to leave your authors a comment/kudos! 

What do you think of the new banner?? 

***Recent favorites

~*~ 

***Enchanted by iam93percentstardust

This night is sparklin', don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushin' all the way home

I'll spend forever wonderin' if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

~

Steve starts making his way back towards the directions of the cars, wanting to greet her, only to stop dead when he realizes who her date is.

Natasha has brought Tony with her.

Tony of the pictures, of the stories, of Steve’s infatuated little heart even though he’s never met him in person.

***once in a lifetime by meidui 

“You should be worried that I'll break into your apartment, steal your identity and flee the country with all your money,” Steve says, one arm slung lazily across Tony's chest, playing with the key to his safe. “You shouldn't go around handing out keys to people, you know.”

Tony makes a low, offended noise and grabs Steve’s chin, making him laugh. “Is that what you think I do?”

bake my breath away by earliebirb 

Steve develops a crush on one of his bakery's regulars, charming businessman-slash-inventor Tony Stark. He is not stupid enough to think Tony would ever like him back, though.

Besides, Tony is already in a relationship.

As it turns out, Steve might have been wrong about a couple of things.

A Place In My Mind by KandiSheek 

The Avengers all swap bodies, with Steve ending up in Ironman's. It's a nightmare for multiple reasons, mostly because Steve has no idea who Ironman actually is, and he'd rather die than be the one to expose his friend's well-kept secret.

What Ironman doesn't know is that Steve has a secret of his own. One of the mushy, romantic kind. And being this close to Ironman, after all these years of desperately wanting it?

It just might be a bigger temptation than he can resist.

Dark Matter by RurouniHime 

A mission goes wrong with troubling consequences for Steve. (Based in the world of sabrecmc's Celestial Navigation and its sequel Orbital Mechanics)

an anger that you crush and fuel by starvels (dinosaur)

“I’m mad at you,” Natasha says, gripping Steve’s collar so tight the shirt seams strain.

Steve glances down at her hand, and his arm quivers beside her head. “I know,” he says, voice rough.

Symmetry Breaking by Annie D (scaramouche)

After the Battle of New York, Steve rode off on his motorbike. That's how it went the first time.

This time he rides back, all the way to Stark Tower, where he asks Tony for help.

The God of Solid Life Advice by kehinki

It's 2012. Steve is just informed by Loki that Bucky's alive.

Loki also tells him some other things.

The Hazards of Falling in Love (Rescue Me) by EmmaLostInWonderland 

“So that’s your name?” Rogers hasn't looked away from him once. His eyes are a piercing blue, and Tony barely manages to keep from squirming under his gaze.

“Yeah. Or Telecommunications Operator Stark, if we’re getting technical about it.”

“Are we?”

Tony tilts his head slightly. “Depends. Can I call you Steve?”

The man grins. “Wouldn’t have it any other way, Tony.”

// Tony Stark doesn't date firemen. But he'll make an exception for Battalion Chief Steve Rogers.

written for BladeoftheNebula as part of the Stony Loves Steve 2023 Gift Exchange

Trying not to lose my sensibility by Girl_Back_There 

In the weeks leading up to his heat, Steve rethinks about his relationship with Brock. And his fading friendship with Tony.

i'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone by iam93percentstardust 

The real reason Tony wanted to do this movie, the one that he'll never tell anyone about, was because when he’d asked his agent who would be playing Chris, she’d slyly smiled at him and told him that it was Steve Rogers.

“Oh,” he’d squeaked, cleared his throat, and tried again in a more normal octave, but by then it was too late. Natasha had laughed at him and made the call without even waiting for him to agree to the audition.

He’s not quite sure if he should thank her or fire her for that.

Chamber of Reflection by Thahire 

A few years after retiring, Steve and Tony get a surprise visit from another Steve. Steve Rogers from Earth 1610 is lost, grappling with the new century he’s been unceremoniously dropped in, with confusing feelings for his new teammate, with himself.

Steve and Tony decide to get involved.

Soft Robotics by isozyme 

“I promise this is all non-toxic. The silicone is medical-grade, even.”

Steve makes a choking noise. “I would hope so,” he says, going bright, tomato red as he says it.

Tony makes some cool robots. Steve makes an assumption.

***Celestial Navigation by sabrecmc

Celestial Navigation: 18 year old Omega!Tony finds himself Bonded to Captain Steve Rogers. He isn't happy about it until he is.

[mollywog]

Apparently I’m deep in my HS feels (don’t ask me why, I didn’t particularly enjoy it while it was happening.) Ao3 link

There’s something special about high school football. Not the games themselves, it’s been decades since District 12 was a real contender. Their biggest rivalry is the neighboring school, and even that has 50/50 odds of Victory. Still, Friday night games are a right of passage.

The sun sets early but the lights are bright. The temperature drops and the whole town bundles up against the fall chill and flocks to the stadium. The concession stand sells hot chocolate and orange cheese drenched chips and fries, that warmth hands and burn tongues. Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith, as old as the sport itself, bicker over the intercom, drowned out only by the band who plays and replays the same dozen riffs from their perch in the stands.

Peeta and his friends station themselves at the 20 yard line, keeping track of the game while scoping out the passersby. Delly and a handful of her friends are the latest momentary additions to his group, checking in between completing social laps of the field.

He looks into the bleachers and spots an unexpected face in the first row. Her brow furrowed, she sits next to Gale Hawthorne, his motions animated as he gestures at the field and she nods along. As if feeling his stare, she shifts her gaze and their eyes briefly meet before flitting away. He turns back to his friends to find Delly watching him with a knowing smile: it’s not the first time she’s caught him pining over Katniss Everdeen and it won’t be the last.

Robin, a girl he knows vaguely from the next town over, slides up beside him and begins in on the monotonous Senior year questionnaire; his plans for next year, where he’ll go, what he’ll study, will he continue to wrestle? He recites his trite responses dutifully. He hates it. His favorite part of these nights is living completely in the smell of turf and the sound of his friends' laughter, not worrying about what’s next. He thinks about childhood when there wasn’t a script, only questions about favorite colors or dinosaurs. He considers asking Robin her thoughts on the dilapasaur but thinks better of it; he’s not afraid of sounding dorky, but doesn’t want to risk inadvertently encouraging her. As they speak, she gets closer, turning herself towards him, closing them off, batting her eyes, tittering, touching his arm. He knows the game, but has no intentions of playing, so he maintains his distance, answers politely, and tries to include others in his responses.

He looks up in the stands again, spotting Katniss easily now that he knows where to find her. She’s hunched over, elbows on her knees, glaring at the field. The game must be unpleasant -that’s not a surprise.

His inattentiveness does not go unnoticed and Robin eventually turns her queries towards Reese, a more receptive companion.

He lets out a small sigh of relief at his reprieve, but this time when he glances back into the stands, Katniss is no longer there. He excuses himself from the group and heads toward the bathrooms, at the last minute slipping under the bleachers instead. They get a bad rep, but he’s never actually seen anyone doing drugs, or murdering, or having sex down here. It’s actually kind of nice. The people above dampen the sound from the intercom and the lights are obscured to just the right level. He moves to the furthest corner behind a cement piling, out of sight of other bleacher dwellers. Down here alone, it’s like his own private den.

He’s watching the field through the slats of the stands when small arms encircle his waist from behind. For a moment he stiffens before the scent of Katniss’s piney shampoo invades his nostrils, he relaxes into her embrace, “You found me.” He’d hoped she would.

“You’re easy prey. Didn’t even try to cover your tracks. Almost as if you wanted to be caught,” she says, nuzzling her face between his shoulder blades.

He turns, shifting them so they're facing each other, “So now that you’ve got me, what are you going to do with me?”

She rolls her eyes, but yanks at the front of his sweater. He bends to meet her. The novelty of kissing her still hasn’t worn off; he hopes it never will. After a minute, he pulls away, “I didn’t expect to see you tonight.”

“Are you disappointed?” She scowls up at him.

“Not even a little,” he leans down to kiss the crease between her eyes. Unbidden, his mind wanders to the handsome boy beside her in the stands, “What changed your mind?”

“Prim wanted to come and I thought I should keep an eye on her. I’ve heard what happens at these games.” She pinches his waist playfully, “About boys who lure girls under the bleachers for a bit of debauchery.”

“So did you come down here to look for Prim or was my charm too much temptation to resist?”

She slides her hands into his back pockets and gives a little shrug, averting her eyes, “were you looking to lure me?”

He can see through her playful facade, her question’s in earnest. They’d discussed keeping things between them quiet for a while. In truth he would have agreed to just about anything to not scare her away. But he knew as long as they were a secret, this thing that they had, whatever it was, had a shelf life. He thinks of Robin’s display and Katniss’s scowl. Maybe he isn’t the only one with insecurities.

He lifts her chin to look her in the eyes, “only you.” He kisses her again, briefly this time before pulling away, “what’s your favorite color?”

She laughs, “what?”

“Your favorite color. I want to know.” He wants to know everything and not just her future plans.

“Green.”

Of course it is. Nothing could be more fitting for her.

“And yours?”

“Orange.”

She wrinkles her nose.

“It’s not whatever you’re thinking, more muted, like the sunset.”

She hums her approval before their lips meet again. He decides he can save his dinosaur questions for another day.

[audhdnight]

Anyone else really fucking sick of the whole edgelord “we don’t need school it’s all bullshit when will I even need to know any of this” crowd who will also immediately turn around and violently shame and attack anyone who says something misinformed or asks a question that they deem to be “common knowledge”???

Like yeah, I remember highschool. It sucked, but not because of what I was learning. It sucked because teachers are overworked and underpaid/under supported, and the school system doesn’t give half a shit about disabled kids or kids with different neurological conditions or really any of the kids.

We do need schools. Whatever issues the system as a whole has, it needs to be reformed, not done away with. You cannot sit and gripe about how we don’t need any of these history classes because it’s all stuff you don’t want to know anyway, and then go absolutely batshit insane when someone doesn’t know about Pearl Harbor.

Because those people aren’t stupid. They are being intentionally misled, neglected, misinformed, or all three. They are ignorant, not because they chose it but because someone else chose it to further their own desires.

Ignorance leads to harm. Ignorance leads to manipulation. Ignorance is why we have slews of people in the US who are so scared of autism (which IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE SCARED OF) that they refuse to vaccinate their children, which is a form of medical neglect. They are actively endangering people they care about because they have been lied to by political parties and religious leaders who benefit from uneducated mobs.

Ignorance is how you get cults. Ignorance is how people get taken advantage of. Ignorance is how you get genocide. ONE person decides they want power and they use the lack of education to amass followers who will support them blindly because they don’t know any better.

Everyone is appalled when ex-Mormons get on the internet and talk about all the things they had to learn as adults, who by all accounts should have known those things by the time they were fifteen. People lose their fucking minds when ex-Mormons mention they didn’t know how babies were made until after they got married at like thirty. I saw someone make an entire six minute video about how he’s pretty sure all these deconstructers are lying for clout online, because how could they possibly not know?

They don’t know because they were intentionally kept in the dark. That is how high-control religions and cults operate. That is how you keep people under your thumb.

You ask how Christians could possibly think that evolution isn’t real? As someone who was raised that way, I’ll tell you.

From the moment my education started, I was fed misinformation. In kindergarten I learned about how God made dinosaurs, but they all died in the flood and the earth was too damaged afterward to support such big species even after they came off the ark. In middle school I watched Ken Ham and Kent Hovind videos about how carbon-dating is all bogus and if any scientist tries to use it to debate you, you can say “Aha! I knew you were wrong!” and end the discussion there. In highschool I took apologetics, where we learned how to “defend our faith” by constantly moving the goalposts when we spoke to atheists. We were taught that “What happened to the Missing Link?” is a gotcha that no scientist would ever be able to dispute, and so obviously we were the ones in the right. I was told at every possible opportunity that Bill Nye is literally the antichrist, that he doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about, and that any Creationist (Christian “scientists”) could debate him into the ground because he’s so stupid.

I didn’t question any of it because that wasn’t an option. It was *literally* all I knew. I had such a fundamental misunderstanding of science as a whole that when I was exposed to true scientific facts and processes and studies for the first time, I could scoff and say “Don’t they know that’s not even a real thing? How ridiculous that they’d think I would believe it!”

I’m doing the work now to re-educate myself. I have learned so much in just two years that I genuinely can’t speak to half of my family because it makes them so angry. And when I hear people talk about anything happening or existing “billions of years ago”, my knee-jerk reaction is still “The earth is nowhere near that old! That’s how I know they’re lying!” I have to intentionally reprogram my thinking every. single. time. that I engage with scientific literature or media.

It’s hard. It’s frustrating. And it all could’ve been avoided if my own parents hadn’t also been misled their whole lives. I’m not going to make excuses for them as adults, because learning and doing better is your own responsibility once you’re not a kid. But I will say that if their parents hadn’t also been misinformed, they wouldn’t have learned the same lies that they later went on to teach me and my siblings. It’s a vicious cycle, one that is designed to keep people ignorant. It is purposely designed not to have an out.

So yeah, I don’t really know how to end this post but please for the love of god, have some empathy for people who don’t know “common knowledge” facts about science or history. Most likely, it’s not their fault. And the way they push back at you with nothing but misinformation and a dream has been programmed into them probably since birth. This is why we need education, why we need schools, and why it is so vitally important that we as a society do the work to reform our education system.

[pttwice]

i am in love with this hyo & jeong picture! hyo’s so little 🤏 also, happy halloween!!

all treats & no tricks

|| little!jihyo, cg!jeongyeon ||

Jihyo absolutely loved Halloween. She loved the cool costumes, the decorations, the movies, and especially the candy. But, Halloween was also hard for the little. She got easily scared by a lot so there were a lot of movies she wouldn’t watch, a lot of costumes that scared her, and trick or treating was really hard.

This year, Jihyo wanted to go as a unicorn and she wanted her mama to go as a dinosaur. Despite being a unicorn last year, Jihyo argued it was different because she’d put glitter on her face.

“Are you ready to go, Hyo?” Jeongyeon stepped out of the bedroom with her dinosaur onesie on, looking in the bathroom for the little. Jihyo was standing in front of the mirror, glitter all over the sink.

“Wook mama!” Jihyo turned around, only a little bit of glitter on her face. Jeongyeon chuckled and shook her head. She’d worry about cleaning up the glitter later.

“Wow, look at you! My little unicorn.” Jeongyeon kissed the crown of Jihyo’s head and ushered her out of the bathroom. She grabbed her unicorn candy bag and stepped out of the apartment, heading down the hallway.

“Wan’ get all the candy!” Jihyo smiled and held her arms up wide. Jeongyeon nodded and carefully led them down the stairs and down the street to the JYP building.

“Ready to trick or treat, little unicorn?” Jeongyeon smiled and held onto Jihyo’s hand, opening the front door. Jihyo excitedly nodded and swung her mama’s hand back and forth between them. She grabbed her unicorn bag with her other hand and took a step into the building.

Jihyo’s eyes went wide as soon as she saw all the decorations hung out throughout the building. She bounced up and down excitedly as they took the elevator up to the third floor.

Once they got off, Jihyo spotted Momo almost immediately. Of course, Momo was Barbie. “Mo unnie! Wook! ‘m a unicorn!” Jihyo ran over to Momo and proudly held up her unicorn bag and showed off her glittery face.

“You look great, Hyo!” Momo smiled and took a few pictures, putting a few pieces of candy in her bag.

“Thank you, Mo unnie.” Jihyo looked down in her bag then hugged Momo. Jeongyeon walked up behind them and showed Momo the picture of the glitter covered sink, causing Momo to laugh.

“Yeah, have fun with that, Jeong. Glitter is the worst to clean up. Sana’s glitter party last year ended up just like that but all over the living room floor.”

Jeongyeon grimaced slightly and nodded, moving on to the next few people. She was happy that everyone got dressed up and was more than happy giving candy out to the littles. Sana was off running around somewhere with Dahyun while Momo handed out candy. Nayeon was the next adult member they found after a few doors.

“Happy Halloween, Hyo! I love your unicorn costume.” Nayeon bent down and took a million pictures with the little and gave her a few pieces of candy.

“Thank you, unnie. Mama said dat the glitter makes me a real unicorn!”

Nayeon smiled and nodded, sensing the little’s excitement. “You’re the prettiest unicorn I’ve seen.”

//

As they made their way through the two floors that were handing out candy, Jihyo stopped in front of a door covered in caution tape. The sign read ‘Do not enter or you’ll die from fright’.

“What dis mama?”

Jeongyeon looked at the door and read the sign. “Oh that’s a scary room, peanut. You don’t want to go in there.”

Jihyo looked up at the door, her brows furrowed in determination. “Wanna go in!” She turned to look at Jeongyeon and huffed, her hands on her hips.

Jeongyeon tried to reason with the little, but the more she tried to say no and push her down the hallway, the more Jihyo wanted to go in.

Eventually, Jeongyeon caved. She picked Jihyo up and took a deep breath. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad. I mean, how scary could it really be?

Jeongyeon opened the door to a nearly pitch black room. There were a few battery operated candles lighting up the room and a few pumpkins. So far, it didn’t seem so scary.

Jihyo’s hand tightened on her unicorn bag as she looked around the room. She liked the pumpkins, but she wasn’t so sure about the creepy candles.

They slowly made their way around the room. Everything seemed okay until a very cute little ghost cut-out popped up. Despite its cartoonish face, Jihyo burst into tears. She hid her face in Jeongyeon’s chest, her body shaking.

“Okay, Hyo. It’s okay. I’ll get us out of here.” Jeongyeon quickly made her way through the rest of the room, only glancing at the cute little decorations. They weren’t actually that scary, but the dark room and Hyo’s fear of pretty much anything made things seem a lot scarier.

They made it out of the room and Jeongyeon sat down in one of the practice rooms with the little. She pushed the hoodie of the onesie off Jihyo’s head and ran her fingers through the little’s hair, trying to calm her down.

“You’re okay, peanut. Nothing’s going to get you. Mama’s here to keep you safe.” Jeongyeon placed a few gentle kisses to the crown of Jihyo’s head.

“S-scawy woom.” Jihyo looked up at Jeongyeon with tear-filled eyes.

“I know. But now we know not to go in there again, right? Maybe there was a warning sign for a reason.”

Jihyo nodded and held onto Jeongyeon, her little hand still securely wrapped around her unicorn bag.

“Do you still want to finish the hallway? We still haven’t seen Mina yet.” Jeongyeon smiled when Jihyo gave her a small nod. She wiped the little’s tears with her sleeve and picked her up.

//

The few people left in the hallway were nice and gave Jihyo extra candy since her eyes were still a little red and glossy from crying.

Once they made it to Mina, she smothered the little with hugs and kisses, cooing over how cute she was and how brave she was for going into the room.

When they made their way out of the building, Jihyo had a full bag of candy and she was excited to go home and start sorting through it.

“Only treats for Hyo, right?” Jeongyeon smiled as she looked down at Jihyo walking beside her.

Jihyo nodded and looked up. She handed her mama a piece of chocolate as a thank you for protecting her. She leaned up to kiss Jeongyeon’s cheek and talked the rest of the way about all the candy she was going to eat for the next few weeks.

There may have been a glitter bomb in the bathroom sink and Jihyo may have been scared to death, but the night went well. As long as Hyo had her Halloween candy, that’s all that mattered.

[jgmartin]

HOUSE OF THE HOLY

It’s a scary thing, being apart from yourself— being a tool. Have you ever been possessed? I’m guessing not. Most haven’t. And they can thank their lucky stars for that. 

I have though. 

I’ve felt the suffocating grip of something closing around my mind, squeezing it until every last ounce of me was gone. I've felt the horror of knowing I'm not alone. The horror of knowing I might never be alone again.

Three days after I turned six, my life turned into confetti. It tore itself into little pieces, each less recognizable than the last. That night, my foster parents locked me in the attic. They told me that a monster was coming to eat me— a werewolf. 

“We’ll let you out in an hour,” they laughed. “If there’s anything left to let out.”

It wasn’t real. Of course it wasn’t real. The whole thing was just a twisted power play, a means to scare me into obeying their overbearing rules. I was young, though. Naive. And the thing about being young and naive is sometimes you say and do things that you live to regret, and I’d done exactly that. 

I’d confided in them my greatest fear: men that turned into beasts. Werewolves. 

I gave them my vulnerability, openness. They gave me psychological warfare. 

Betrayal cuts deep, but the betrayal of a parent— the person meant to protect you when the whole world turns its back on you— that cuts deeper than skin. 

Those scars don’t fade. 

I spent my first minutes in the attic screaming and crying, beating my fist against the door. They answered this with a volley of threats, beginning and ending with three hours standing in the corner, balanced on my tippy-toes, if I so much as dared to open that hatch.

“You deserve this,” Papa Joey told me. “You knew damn well to keep your eyes closed during that Sunday prayer, but you opened em’ anyway. You embarrassed us. Humiliated us, not just in front of the church, but Father Andrews too. People are gonna think we don’t know how to raise a child, or that we can’t keep a little boy in line. You think that’s funny? You think that’s fair to us?”

“Shame on you,” Mama Sharon said. 

They weren’t lying— at least, not about me opening my eyes. I was a distractible child. Later, I’d be diagnosed with attention deficit disorder, so what was I supposed to do? That didn’t matter to them, though. 

In their eyes, not only had I disrespected the law of the house, I’d disrespected the law of the Lord. That made punishing me easy. Necessary. It made punishing me an act of God. 

“Do I really have to stay up here a whole hour?” I whimpered, gazing warily across the sea of darkness. The light in the attic hadn’t worked for as long as I’d lived there.

“That depends,” Mama Sharon replied. “If the werewolf gets you first, you might only be in there for ten or twenty minutes.”

“Who knows?” Papa Joey called as they left down the hallway. “You might just get lucky." 

They descended the steps, chuckling to themselves. 

The thought of opening the hatch and slipping out of there crossed my mind. It crossed my mind over and over again, as a matter of fact, but I knew it wouldn’t be worth it. As scared as I was, I’d lived with Mama and Papa for eight months by then, and I knew well what kind of punishment they were capable of doling out. 

For this, I’d be in the corner for certain. On my tippy toes. 

If they saw me resting my feet— even for a moment, they’d get out the wooden board with the nails in it. They’d slip that under my heels. I’d been there before. 

I never, ever wanted to be there again.

So I did my best to swallow my fear. I took a deep breath and braced myself against the nightmare of the attic. “I’m not afraid of you!” I said to the shadows. “I’m a monster too, you know!”

It was a lie. I was no more a monster than I was an astronaut, or a dinosaur. I was just a scrawny kid who missed his mom, sitting in an attic that seemed to press upon you from all sides. But it was all that I had. See, the only thing I knew capable of harming a werewolf was a silver bullet, and I was fresh out of those, so I went with the next best thing: convincing the werewolf I wasn’t prey. 

I began my punishment sitting near the hatch. It seemed the safest option, and vibrating with adrenaline and panic, safety was at the top of my mind. I waited silently, eyes closed, heart fluttering, listening for a growl or howl to meet my ears, for the sounds of my doom to rush out and greet me. But they never did. 

Once I’d made it ten minutes without being eaten, I started to calm down. Maybe there weren’t any monsters up there, after all. Maybe I was just afraid of the dark. If that was the case, then that was a problem I could solve. 

The broken lightswitch was far beyond my ability to repair, but I knew for a fact there were a couple of flashlights laying around here somewhere. I’d used them while helping Papa Joey put out mouse traps. Trouble was, there was enough junk in the attic to fill a small museum, so finding which teetering box those flashlights were in might take some time. 

Still, time was one of the few things not in short supply up there. 

Closing my eyes, I took a breath, steeling myself against the darkness ahead. Then I stepped off. Into the unknown.

My footsteps groaned as I crept through the attic. Much of my movement consisted of stumbling around blindly, holding my arms out like Frankenstein’s monster and praying I didn’t encounter anything with fur. A few steps into my journey I bumped into something. My heart jumped, but it was just an old table.

I felt its surface, figuring if there was a flashlight up here then it was probably somewhere on th—

Eight tiny legs skittered across my hand. I flailed, falling backward and knocking the spider off of my skin. Heart pounding, I sat there and caught my breath. 

“You’re kidding, Franky!” The television echoed from below the floorboards. “Keep that up, and you won’t just be outta a job— you’ll be out of a wife!” A laugh track kicked in, joined by Mama Sharon shrieking in amusement and clapping her hands. From the sounds of it, they were watching their favorite sitcom again. I’d never seen it since I wasn’t allowed to watch TV, but I always wondered if it was as funny as they made it seem.

“It’s not.”

I jumped, startled by the voice. “What?”

“You deaf, kid? I said it’s not. It ain’t that funny.”

My heart struck my ribcage like a hammer. No, no, no. This wasn’t happening. It’s just the dark, that’s all. There’s nothing to be afraid of in the dark because I’m all alone and there’s no such thing as monsters and it’s just the TV that I’m hearing and—

“You’re not alone, kid. And I ain’t Will or Grace, either.”

I scrambled backward, away from the voice as quickly as I could. Too quickly. My head found the downward slope of the attic’s roof and hit it with a crack. Pain exploded across my skull. “Stay back,” I groaned, my vision swimming. “If you don’t I’ll—”

“You’ll do nothing!” the voice sneered.

“I—I’m a werewolf,” I warned, my voice shaking with counterfeit authority. “Stay back. It’s a full moon tonight and—”

“Ain’t no full moon, and you ain’t no werewolf.”

Something thumped a short way from me, and my mouth went dry. Another thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. The floorboards trembled. My eyes swiveled to the thin square of light that outlined the attic hatch. It was rattling. Somebody was knocking on it from below. 

“You breaking things up there?” Poppa Joey shouted. “You better not be! Any more banging around and you can forget the werewolf. I’ll come up there and beat your ass myself!”

Even then, I could hear the voice whispering all around me, moving around the attic like an unholy breeze. “Please,” I said quietly, making myself small in the corner. “There’s something up here! I need you.”

“You think I’m stupid, boy?”

My mouth trembled, my entire body quaked. I recognized the tone in Papa Joey’s voice. 

“I asked you a fucking question, didn’t I?” he bellowed. “Answer me when I speak to you!”

“N-no sir,” I said, tears welling in my eyes. “I don’t think you’re stupid, Papa.”

“Then why are you lying to me?” Something struck the bottom of the hatch and made it jump violently— his fist. “You just earned yourself another half hour up there. Keep up this shitty behavior and I’ll show you some shitty behavior of my own. Understand?”

I whimpered.

“DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?”

“Yes sir!” I called, doing my best to keep the tears in my eyes. “Yes sir, I understand sir!”

“Good,” he muttered. His footsteps faded as he made his way back downstairs. 

“What’s he broken?” I heard my Mama ask at the bottom of the steps. 

“Nothing,” Papa said, raising his voice so I could hear. “If he doesn’t want me breaking something of his, it’ll stay that way. Lord knows I’ll start with the teeth. Ain’t nothing out of the ordinary about a young boy missing a tooth.”

Laughter rang out around the attic. “You’re not safe here,” the voice said, right beside me. “Not safe here at all.”

I recoiled, terrified, but careful not to make a sound.  The voice sounded low, raspy and inhuman. It sounded hungry. “Please,” I said. “Leave me alone. I wasn’t kidding about being a werewolf you know.”

“Do you want to be safe?” the voice hissed, slithering all around me like a cockroach on my skin. “I can make you safe. I can make all this pain go away. Doesn’t that sound… nice? Just say the word and poof, you’re home free, back with dear mommy.”

“What word?” I said, confused.

The voice tutted in my ears, as if it were on both sides of me at once. “Oh, don’t play coy. You know the word. The one you say kneeling beside your bed every night, praying to the big cheese in the sky.”

“Amen?” 

“Amen?” More laughter, this time sardonic, mocking. “Give me a fucking break, kiddo. I mean the other word, the one you whimper with tears in your eyes and fear in your heart— afraid Mama and Papa might hear you say it out loud.”

A terrible feeling was beginning to take hold in my gut. The voice sounded suddenly so much worse than a simple werewolf. It sounded sinister. Like it was manipulating me. Testing me. “I don’t have tears in my eyes when I pray,” I said defiantly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

The voice — whatever it was — stepped forward then, and the entire attic rattled against its weight. Dust drifted down from the rafters. Floorboards shuddered. 

It was loud.

Too loud. 

“The fuck did I just tell you, boy?” Papa Joey hollered from below. “So help me God, if I have to get up from this couch you’re gonna wish there really was a lock on that fucking hatch!” 

I slammed my eyes shut. “Go away,” I said quietly. “Please, whatever you are, just go away.”

“No.” 

It took another step forward, and the attic shook again. This time, the frame of the house trembled with it, rumbling as it braced itself against the monster inside. 

“I’m not playing around,” Papa growled from below, and this time his voice was different. Something had wormed its way inside of it. Something dangerous. Deadly. “One more time, boy. Try me one more time and I swear to you that it’ll be the last...”

“He’s mad,” I whimpered, clutching my hands to my ears. “He’s really mad and he’s gonna think it’s me. Please, you’ve got to stop. You’ve got to go!”

"I'm not going anywhere,” the voice whispered. “You're stuck with me."

My heart fell. My world was practically spinning, the situation had spiraled so far outside of my control and I knew that no matter what, once the television episode was over Papa Joey would come up here and show me just how angry he was. 

“What's this?” the voice asked, bemused. A sound met my ears; dull and low, like a cardboard box sliding off of a wooden table. 

My heart froze.

“Looks expensive.”

"No! Don't—"

My plea was cut short, interrupted by a symphony of shattered glass. A half-second later and another box tipped. Something tumbled out of it, obnoxious and heavy, rolling across the creaky floor like a bowling ball. 

"I'm going to make you believe," the voice hissed. "No matter what it takes."

I sat, paralyzed with fear, waiting to hear Papa shout my name and tell me that was the last straw. But I didn’t hear anything. I didn’t hear Papa yelling, or Mama either. I didn’t even hear the television. 

Something snapped from below. “... nothing in him this fucking belt won’t fix!”

Footsteps thundered up the stairs. 

“Why are you doing this?” I shrieked into the darkness. “Why are you making them hurt me?” Tears poured from my eyes as I trembled in the corner, taking deep, heaving breaths as I prepared myself for the discipline I was soon to receive. For the pain.

“I’m trying to teach you a lesson!” the voice cackled. “Now say the word, boyo! Say the word or you’ll beg for it later, beaten and bruised!”

“No!” I shouted, shaking my head furiously. Tears stained my cheeks. “I know what you are! I know what evil monsters like you do, but I’m a good kid and I pray every night so just leave me alone!”

A fist pounded against the underside of the hatch. Then it rattled, like somebody was pulling on the handle, trying to get it open, but it wouldn’t budge. “Get your hands off the hatch!” Papa Joey roared. 

“Say the word,” the voice hissed. 

I plugged my ears, curling into a ball. “No! Just me alone and go away.”

“Do it now, before he gets you! He sounds so angry!”

Mama’s voice joined the chaos below. “What’s he done now, Joey? Locked himself up there?”

The hatch rattled, and I heard Joey grunt. “What’s it look like, Sharon?”

“Well just leave him there, then! If he wants to stay up there with the werewolves he can stay there all weekend if he pleases.” 

"No he damn well can't, Sharon!" Papa shouted. "I've got valuable things in those boxes and the little shitstain's destroying them!" Joey heaved and the attic hatch squealed, sounding as though he were pulling against it with his entire weight.  

“Running out of time,” the voice said, up against my ear. “Tick tock. Say the word, or you’ll pay for this in blood. Who knows when he’ll stop beating you? Hopefully before you drop dead.”

I screamed then, lashing out and throwing out my fists helplessly into the dark, doing anything I could to stop the voice from talking. From tormenting me. “Stop it!” I shrieked. “Stop it!”

In all my life I’d never felt so helpless. So afraid. There wasn’t any escape here. Threats surrounded me. Below, my foster parents were beating down the attic door, while all around me a voice taunted and jeered, goading me to turn away from God, to make me admit I didn’t have the faith I claimed to. 

I just wanted them both to go away. Forever. 

I just wanted to go to my room and play with my action figures and read my story books. I just wanted to be a normal kid again, with a normal family. I wanted to feel safe. 

A sharp creak sounded, followed by a snap of wood. Light flooded the attic and I gazed in horror toward the now open hatch, feeling suddenly weak and helpless. Joey had broken the steps clean off of their hinges. 

“Obnoxious little shit,” Papa snarled, stomping up the stomps. 

“Don’t kill him, Joey,” Mama Sharon said casually. “Just smarten him up. He’s been nothing but disobedient since he got here last July.”

“Oh, I’ll smarten him up,” Papa said, face appearing above the floor line with bulging eyes. “I’ll teach him a lesson so good he’ll wish he was back with that drug addict whore he calls a mother.”

“Papa!” I called out, whimpering. “It wasn’t me! There was—”

“More lies, boy?” He reached for his waist and unslung his belt, snapping it in his hands. The metal buckle gleamed in the light. “This time,” Papa said, stepping forward, “I’m not gonna stop until you bleed.”

I recoiled, raising my hands defensively. “Please,” I sobbed. “P-please don’t, Papa. I’m sorry I—” A crack sounded and pain exploded across my hands. I gasped, instinctively scrambling away but strong hands grabbed me and dragged me back. 

“This time I’ll give you the buckle,” Papa growled. 

Tears gushed from my eyes. Blood leaked from my hands. A word fell from my mouth with all the force of an atomic bomb.

“Well, well,” the voice whispered, dripping with violence. “Took you long enough.”

_____________________

I woke up in a large, white bed inside of a pale gray room. 

“Look who’s up,” said a familiar voice. I squinted, my eyes adjusting to the brightness of the space. A man in a robe with a crucifix necklace stood at my bedside, staring down at me with cold, calculated eyes. “It only took you four days.”

I blinked, bleary-eyed. “Father Andrews?” I mumbled. “I’ve been asleep for four days?”

“That’s what I said.”

“Where am I?”

He looked around, as though appraising the setting for the first time himself. “If I had to guess, I’d say we were inside of a hospital, weren’t we?” He shot me a smile. “It’s fine, I’ve got most of the curtains drawn so it’s hard to tell. Besides, I’m sure somebody your age hasn’t had many occasions to be here.”

I sat up, confused and disoriented. “What happened?”

Father Andrews frowned, his expression growing grave. “That’s what I was hoping you could tell me, Alex. You don’t remember anything?”

“No, Father,” I said, shaking my head. Memories flashed in my mind— of a belt, of Papa’s angry face storming up the attic steps. “I remember being in a lot of trouble,” I began. “I remember feeling…”

“Feeling what, Alex?”

The word I wanted to say was afraid, but I knew I’d get in worse trouble for saying that. It wasn’t fair of me to make Mama and Papa look bad in front of the Father. Not when I did that so much already. 

“I remember feeling tired,” I lied, before quickly changing the subject. “Why am I in the hospital, Father? Am I okay?”

“That depends. Do you feel okay?”

“I think so. I feel tired and I’ve got a headache but mostly I feel alright.”

Father Andrews moved closer to me, and a gravity fell across his expression. When he spoke, it was in a quiet, measured tone. “Do you feel like yourself?”

My head spun. Memories lurched out of dark spots in my mind, memories of a voice, of a malevolent presence tempting me to admit I’d been crying during my prayers. Now I was here,  in the hospital next to Father Andrews. A priest. 

“What happened?" I asked, more urgently. Even at six, I could connect the dots that something was very wrong. “Something happened didn’t it and—”

“Easy, Alex,” Father Andrews soothed. “The doctors have been in. You’ll be happy to hear that, as far as they can tell, you’re fine. A little worse for wear, but nothing that won’t clear in a few days. And the doctors will be happy to hear you’ve woken from your coma.”

“Coma?” The word was new to me, but I felt like I’d heard it before. It felt like something bad, like something you didn’t want to have happen to you. Terror shot through me. “Are Mama and Papa mad at me?” I asked.

A sinking feeling formed in my gut. The voice had destroyed so much stuff in the attic, and now that Mama and Papa had gotten a good look at it they were probably furious with me. I’d likely get a second-helping of discipline when I got home.

“Sharon and Joseph are dead,” Father Andrews said. 

My mouth fell open. The gravity of the word was almost beyond my understanding. “What do you mean?”

Father Andrews sighed, then pulled the rest of the curtain shut around my bed, shielding us from view. “Alex, this is difficult to say... but they’re dead because of you. You killed them.”

I blinked. The situation felt like a bad dream, like a scenario so awful that it couldn’t possibly be true. “I killed them?” I said, my voice barely a whisper. “No… No I didn’t I—”

“You burned away every ounce of blood in their bodies and seared crucifixes into their foreheads. When the police showed up, they were husks. You were comatose."

I swallowed, my mouth dry. “No, that’s not right, I…” Horror wrapped itself around me as more memories unearthed themselves. This time, I remembered the attic, and the voice. I remembered it tempting me to break my vows to God by speaking a word. If I just spoke the word, it said, it could make the pain go away. “I loved them,” I said, my voice cracking with the onset of tears. “I wouldn’t hurt them because I loved them. I promise!”

Father Andrews folded his arms. “That may be, but they're dead now.” He reached into his robes and produced a small, clear vial. Unstoppering it, he held it above my head. “Now that you’re awake, let’s try this again.” He tilted the vial and doused me in the liquid. 

I coughed and sputtered as it fell into my nose and eyes. “What are you doing?”

“Holy water,” he explained. He gave the empty vial a gentle shake in front of me. “Over the past three days I’ve poured various amounts onto you, but it’s never had any effect. Do you know why that is?”

Holy Water. It was something I once learned about in Sunday School: water that had been blessed to protect against demons and other terrible things. If he had been pouring that on me, then it was because he suspected… 

I gazed up at him, horrified. “It wasn’t my fault!” I cried, shaking my head as though if I just denied it hard enough, then I could make it all go away. The demon. The dead parents. All of it. I just wanted a second chance. 

“What wasn’t your fault?” he replied. 

Guilt twisted inside of me. “The demon in the attic!” I blurted out. “I didn’t mean to talk to it, I swear! It just kept pressuring me and pressuring me and then I got so scared, and I accidentally said the word but I didn’t mean to, I didn’t…” I broke off into a long sob. 

It was as though the entire experience had been bottled up before, whether because the memories still hadn’t caught up to me, or the guilt hadn’t, but now it was all falling out of me like a river. 

Father Andrews grabbed me by my shoulders. “You said a word?”

I nodded, my lip curled up and snot leaking down my nose. “I didn’t mean to.”

“What word?” 

“I…” The word sat on the tip of my tongue, but fear gripped me. What if the demon was waiting in here, unseen just like it had been in the attic? What if when I said the word, the demon would crawl right back inside of me and start killing people all over again? I couldn’t face that. I couldn’t risk that. “I… can’t,” I said. 

Father Andrews brought his mouth next to my ear. When he spoke, his voice was quiet, deliberate. “What. Was. The. Word. Alex?”

“If I say the word,” I explained. “Then the demon might come back and hurt—”

“Say it!” he snapped. “Say the damn word!”

I slammed my eyes shut, pursing my lips and shaking my head. There was no way I could do it. No way. Not after hearing what had happened the last time. 

The Father snarled and tore the crucifix from his necklace and pressed it against my forehead. He muttered words in a language I didn’t understand. “Enough excuses! Now say it!"

"Help," I whimpered.

"I'll help you once I'm sure—"

"No," I said. "That was the word. I asked for… help."

"Help?" He stared at me blankly, mouth hanging open as though processing something. “Did you say that you asked for… help?”

I nodded, shaken.

“Oh, Lord Almighty Above.” He heaved a sigh, pocketing his crucifix and sitting down in the chair next to my bed. “Thank God.”

The situation had only gotten more confusing. “I’m sorry, Father. Thank God… for what?”

He took a breath, then another. Eventually, he stood up and approached my bedside, placing a hand on my arm. “Things aren’t as bad as they seem.”

“They’re not? Does this mean I wasn’t possessed? That it wasn’t me that hurt Mama and Papa?”

Father Andrews’ smile faltered. “I don’t have much experience with this, so you’ll forgive my bluntness. But you deserve the truth.” He paused. His next words came slowly. “It’s clear to me that you really were possessed, Alex. And, for better or worse, that same force used you to commit violence against Joseph and Sharon. Through you, it killed them.”

My heart fell. 

In that moment, my world, small as it was, collapsed around me in slow motion. I shrank before Father Andrews. I wanted to keep shrinking— become tinier and tinier until there was nothing left of me and I wouldn’t feel this horrible guilt and shame. My body quaked with the fresh onset of tears. “Am I evil now? Will that demon keep possessing me?”

Father Andrews stared at me as though dumbstruck. “Demon?” 

I tried to respond, but it just came out as a torrent of ugly sobs. 

A moment later, he seemed to have realized something. He shook his head as though chastising himself and then pulled me close, wrapping me in one of the warmest embraces I’ve ever felt. “You weren’t possessed by a demon, Alex.” 

He squeezed me. 

“You were possessed by an angel.” 

[undinegeist]

don’t want to live without you

-xx-

Johnny

-xx-

“Hey.” She speaks first; I’m scared, cold, shaking, outside and inside.

“Hey.”

“How was the fest?”

“Great, yeah. I’m…I’m exhausted, it was so crazy, but it was awesome too.”

She grins, and I melt, though I try not to show it.

“I saw one of the streams…you’re done collecting bras for real?”

I’d stopped doing that for Gretchen’s sake when we got back together, not caring that it made me look uncool; it was force of habit more than anything, plus it made me less of a dinosaur…Y/N’s always had a different way of thinking though.

“Are you disappointed?” I can tell she’s something that isn’t nice.

“Yeah, but…just a little.” She laughs, makes a square with her fingers, sort of nervous, but I feel something warm inside. “I like you, I just…want you to have fun. Refusing bras sounds boring.”

“I’ll…I’ll keep that in mind for the next tour.” All I can hear, though, are the words ‘I like you,’ on endless repeat in my head.

“Cool…I’ll watch for that.”

“Maybe…maybe you’ll be watching from side stage.”

Her eyes glitter, and my heart’s beating so hard, I feel dizzy with it…I’m caught between wanting to slip the words back in and the thought of holding her.

“Only if you’ll let me keep them.” She smirks…and then she’s hugging me; I feel like I could fly, better than any high.

-xx-

Y/N

-xx-

He feels different, skinnier, but underneath that, I missed him so much I don’t care that he’s dressed to the nines, wearing things I’d twist my nose at…I’ll still twist it, but never hard enough to hurt him.

“I…I really missed you.” He has his fingers in my hair, but I don’t mind, unlike with most people.

“I missed you, too.”

He sighs. “Why didn’t I ask you to come with me?”

I move back just enough to look up at him, resting my chin on his chest. “Because we’d just gotten fucked out of our minds and had things to sort out before we did whatever it is we’re going to do.”

“So…we’re going to do it? You still want to?”

If this was before, I’d run from the breaking in his voice, chase it with a high, fuck whoever I could find to pretend I didn’t want him…I know there’s no way around it now, even if it scares me, even if one of us goes before the other…I can never let him go, no matter how hard I try.

“I don’t want to live without you.”

He shivers, moves closer. “Is it cheesy if I kiss you?”

“Let’s give our audience what they want.”

-xx-

Johnny

-xx-

She smirks, and I can’t take it, I’ve waited so long…she moves first, though, faster than me, and it barely seems to matter that I’m too tall for her; she reaches most of the way on her own, and then our tongues are flicking past each other’s, and it feels like we’ve never done this before.

-xx-

Maya

-xx-

Elias sighs, and I turn to follow his eyes; Johnny and Y/N kissing, thankfully not in the limelight this time…the damage control before was the worst.

“I guess it’s finally happening, huh?”

“Did you ever think it wouldn’t? After the shenanigans at the pool in the UK…”

“That was what I thought would kill it. Plus…I thought it’d be Lily, not Y/N.”

I shudder. “Thank God it’s not Lily.”

He nods, but he’s distracted. “Well…I guess he’ll need a new assistant.”

“No, I won’t.”

He comes out of nowhere, arm around her, and though I’m not surprised, Elias starts.

“You’ll be giving me a heart attack, moving like that, kid.”

He’s laughing, patting Elias on the shoulder. “Sorry, sorry. I’ll be louder next time.”

“That’s the only thing I miss from your wasted days…we could all hear you coming a mile away.”

Johnny rolls his eyes, but he’s smirking. “Thanks. Listen…we’re gonna duck out for a minute.”

“To go where?!”

“Nowhere dangerous, promise.” Y/N looks him straight in the face, and that calms him; he’s always trusted her when it comes to Johnny, though his eyes narrow a moment later.

“You’re not getting matching tattoos, are you?”

The look in both their eyes give them away; Elias is going red in the face, and honestly, it’s funny.

“It’s Christmas Eve, we’re in the snow, where are you even going to find someone at this hour?! If you make them visible, how will we explain it when you’re seen together working, it’s…”

“El, please…” Oh God. They look too amused; I’m worried. “Come on. Johnny has a million tattoos, what’s one more?”

“Plus, we’ll be getting them somewhere with restricted access.” He does something with his tongue that has me trying not to laugh - or gag - though Elias only goes redder.

“Not on your asses!”

They’re laughing as they leave, passing Adam and Janis out the door, gone, though Elias is still sputtering like their mad old grandpa…

“What is going on here?” Adam, as ever, is puzzled, staring after them…and their held hands.

“They’re going out to get matching tattoos! On Christmas Eve!”

The indignation. I can’t hold it any longer; I’m laughing as he goes on a tirade, completely unnecessary, part of his charm. One of my favorite things about him.

“Wow. Never thought I’d see that happen.”

“I did.” Janis pipes up.

“Of course, of course you did, my love. So perceptive.” She hits him for his sarcasm, and somehow, he’s chasing her around the house.

I turn to Elias. “Well.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know what to do with all these damn kids.”

“Wait til the rest get here.”

He side-eyes me. “You’re the Devil, woman.”

“Nah, I’ll help you with them.”

“Thank you.”

We go to the kitchen, get started on dinner…before long, Vivian’s mother is helping, and then so is Vic; the house is full, Johnny and Y/N get back from the tattoos they refuse to speak about or - much to Elias’ relief - show.

Eventually we all sit down to eat, and it feels strangely safe…a place I never expected to get, with all these people who have suddenly become a better family than the one I came from.

[peoplepersonoaktree]

24, 18, 15, 9, and 2 for the artist asks! (You don’t have to answer all of them if you don’t want to!)

Sorry I didn’t send this earlier

I typed all of this out and then it decided to not save so ROUND 2 AND MORE PROCRASTINATION OF CHEMISTRY WHOO

24. How do you deal with artblock?

I don’t. I let it eat me, and then one day, I’ll eventually figure out how to draw again 😃👍

18. Do you have any larger projects you’d like to pursue? Like comics, shortfilm, a series etc?

Pfftahahhhah~ funny thing abt this. Yes. I actually have a comic that I started in… July-? It’s just some silly little rise Au comic that I might never finish. And then I also… so… one day at like 2 am, my friend texted me and asked if I wanted to write a kids show with her. I said yes, like any other insane person would, so we- I’ve never taken an animation class in my life but I can kinda figure it out- but we’ve started writing out this little kid’s series that we both really want to turn into a real show even though we both can’t animate. So yeah, maybe one day.

15. Biggest artist pet peeve?

proportions. Wing sizes especially. If the thing doesn’t have big enough wings, it can’t get off the ground.

9. What are you currently trying to improve?

people. Anatomy. Animation. All three, I am not great at. I can do animal anatomy, easy peasy. Humans are- nah- absolutely not- Animation, I just- idk what I’m doing. Hopefully there’s a 2d animation class I can take somewhere-

2. 5 favourites of your own work?

spent a solid 20 mins trying to pick stuff out- a few of these are older but I still like ‘em so whatever

The three digital ones are ones that I actually really like, the two sketches- I still like, I’m just too lazy to find other things rn-

And the gray dinosaur lookin thing was actually one of the first creetchurs I made~

[ringmaster-midori]

My Speech to the Townspeople of Willowside

It's turning out to be a good day.

I got up on the stage in the town hall, standing in front of the Willowside flag, and gave a speech to raise morale among the townspeople:

Citizens of Willowside,

Be seated.

Let's cut through the fog with a blade sharper than any rapier: the blade of truth. The xulgaths and their dinosaurs are at Willowside's gates, thinking they can break us. They see this peaceful town and mistake your love for life as weakness. They couldn't be more wrong.

You are here today for one reason: to defend your homes and your loved ones.

Willowsiders love a winner. Willowsiders will not tolerate a loser. Willowsiders despise cowards. Willowsiders play to win all of the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in the Nine Hells for a being who lost and laughed. That's why Willowsiders will never lose a war; the very idea of losing is hateful to a Willowsider.

Every person is scared in their first battle. If they say they're not, they're a liar! The real hero is the person who fights even though they are scared. Some people get over their fright in a minute under fire. For some, it takes an hour. For some, it takes days. But a real person will never let their fear of death overpower their honor, their sense of duty to their country, and their innate personhood. Battle is the most magnificent competition in which a being can indulge. It brings out all that is best and it removes all that is base. Remember that the enemy is just as frightened as you are, and probably more so. They are not demons. They are not devils. They are stone-age lizard people and bleed just as you or I do.

Why, by the gods, I actually pity those poor sons-of-bitches we're going up against. By the gods, I do!

My people don't surrender. I don’t want to hear of any soldier under my command being captured unless they have been hit. Even if you are hit, you can still fight back. That’s not just bullshit either. The kind of being that I want in my circus is just like the roustabout in Erran, who, with a crossbow against his chest, whipped off his helmet, swept the crossbow aside with one hand, and busted the hells out of the xulgath with his helmet. Then he jumped on the crossbow and went out and killed another xulgath before they knew what the hells was coming off. And, all of that time, this person had an arrow through a lung. There was a real hero!

Some day I want to see them raise up on their bile-soaked hind legs and howl, "Sweet Zevgavizeb, it’s the godsdamned Circus of Wayward Wonders again and that fucking bitch Midori"!

Now, let's show these prehistoric pests how real heroes fight!

For Willowside!

I really think that got their blood pumping!

[paleopinesofficial]

PALEO PINES FAQs

What consoles are you on

We are available on Steam, PS4, PS5, Xbox One, Xbox Series X, and Nintendo Switch.

How can I support the development of Paleo Pines?

We are so excited you want to get more involved! The best way you can support us is to follow us on social media @PaleoPines or grab the game on any of the platforms available!

Will the game have co-op/multiplayer?

Paleo Pines is a single-player experience! We’re definitely keeping them in the back of our minds, but it won’t be part of this release.

Will the game be in real-time? Will I lose my dinosaurs if I don’t play for a while?

In Paleo Pines, dinos will only run away if you neglect them during active gameplay, so please be nice to your dino friends!

Is there any promotional content?

Not yet, but we hope there will be!

Will the game have mod support?

Currently it is not in our plans to include mod support for the game.

Will Paleo Pines be available in other languages?

Paleo Pines will be available in English, German, French, Italian, Korean, Spanish, Simplified Chinese, Traditional Chinese, Russian, Japanese, and Brazilian Portuguese.

Is this game identical on all platforms, including the Switch version having an in-game achievement system?

Currently platform-specific features/meta features are only supported on a per-platform basis. Specifically, there is* not* an in-game achievement system for Switch.

Are there any bonuses for having save data from a different video game?

There are no bonuses for other game saves at present.

How will taming work?

A collection of cheeky dinosaurs roam the wild areas waiting to become your friends, as well as ranch helpers. Get their attention by mimicking their calls with your flute, then seal the deal with a tasty treat and trustworthy nose boop! Then gain their trust by creating cozy pens and learning what keeps them happy. Dinos might leave your island if they’re not happy - don’t worry though, you can always find them again and regain their trust!

Will Paleo Pines be free?

Paleo Pines is a premium game experience. We haven’t announced a price yet but will as soon as we can!

Will Paleo Pines have dating elements or relationships with the NPCs?

We are not currently planning on adding dating elements to the game. However, you can complete questlines for the NPCs and affect a positive change in their lives!

Will Paleo Pines also be available on Mac?

In the current plans, Paleo Pines will not be available on Mac.

Are there plans for early access?

There will not be early access, but we have a free demo on Steam!

Will there be seasonal changes in the game?

There are three seasons in the game which can affect the weather, available crops, and dino migration patterns. Triassea is a time of new crops and new life, where pleasantly cloudy days are broken up by occasional light and pleasant rainfall. Jurrasos is a hotter, more tropical time of year. It is rarely cloudy, and never stormy, perfect for beach picnics! Cretumnus is the blustery time of year, normally cloudy with rain showing up a bit more frequently.

What do you think the appropriate age to be able to play Paleo Pines will be?

We want to have the game accessible to as many people who want to play it as possible. We will try to keep the controls simple and intuitive to make sure everyone has a playing experience that is fun whilst still giving you lots of options and things to do in the game.

Will we have to build up the ranch from scratch?

You start with a simple ranch and a little bit of land, and as the game progresses you can turn the neglected land into a beautiful and friendly home.

What will be customizable in game?

Paleo Pines is a place where you can express your individuality and creativity; no two ranches are the same! You can use decor to build a romantic garden, give your ranch a cozy woodland vibe, or go full-on-farmer with rows and rows of tilled soil. You can decide where to grow produce, or which spaces to dedicate to your dinos, including how big and what shape you want their pens to be. Your dinos can move around freely, so feel free to make communal areas too! Furthermore, you can customize your character as you like with a variety of features, curate a colorful collection of clothing and change your style using the wardrobe!

Will dinosaurs be adjusted if their depictions are drastically updated?

We love the latest science as it unfolds. Natalia, our paleontology adviser, is a key part in keeping us in the loop. If something exciting is revealed, we'll try to incorporate it if possible!

Can dinos at the ranch get sick?

The dinos cannot get sick, but if you forget to feed and take care of them, they might decide to leave your ranch.

Are dino genders fixed or randomised?

Most dinos do not have genders, except what you choose to imagine. However, some of the NPCs have their own trusty steeds who at times are referred to by their gendered pronouns.

Will the dinos come in different colors/patterns?

Yes! Each dino will have a pool of colours, and some dinos will have multiple patterns. These different colors/patterns will be spawned procedurally or under certain conditions!

Can my dinosaurs die? What happens if I forget to feed them?

Dinos will never die or kill each other. If you do neglect your dino, it will simply leave your ranch.

Why was Lucky chosen as the main dino?

We wish we had a better answer other than it's always been Lucky and we've never for a second considered another dino as she has always just felt perfectly right. She is an embodiment of what Paleo Pines is all about - friendship and exploration. Even after years of developing the game, we still feel happy when we look at her and that's the emotion that we hope is shared by others when they play!

Do the dinosaurs have varying personalities or all pretty much the same depending on their species?

There are a few different personality types, and any species can have them. But the species themselves have got bags of personality in their animations!

Is there a limit to how many dinos the player can have on their ranch?

You can have as many dinos on your ranch that you are able to keep happy! But keeping a dino happy in the long term requires a dreamstone, and there are a finite number of dreamstones in the game.

Will there be a chance of random mutation?

Since there is no breeding in the game, dinos will not mutate. However, there are various combinations of dino patterns and colors, some that are more rare than others.

Can we name our dinos?

Yes! All dinos can be named and renamed, except Lucky.

How will the dinos sound? Realistic or more cute?

It’s going to be more cute than realistic or terrifying. For example, large dinos have big low honks and small dinos might have chirps or trills. We’re also designing for melody to be important in the game, which will tie in to the sound design of the dinos.

What is Pippin’s Gender?

Pippin is a non-binary character who uses they/them pronouns. It has always been our vision for Paleo Pines to have a diverse, inclusive community with characters that may reflect any player’s identity or orientation.

Which game engine is the team using?

We are developing in the Unity game engine.

Will there be controller support?

Absolutely! Actually, this is how a lot of us are testing the game already.

What program do you use for 3D modelling?

We use Blender for our 3D work.

Is there anything permanently missable, even rewards for fulfilling specific conditions?

Nothing aside from cases where this is desirable. For example: Granny comes to your ranch the day after you receive your farming tools.If you haven't used the tools yet, she will give you a farming tutorial, and give you seeds. If you have already used them, she comments on how you seem to know what you're doing, and gives you seeds. Either way you get seeds. But you can only see one of the two possible dialogues - the other is missable.