#Because a zombie show just about zombies would be BORING

[neutralgray]

Zombie media discourse is wild because it's full of weirdly pedantic assholes that argue about semantics from all angles, rather than any connected themes or anything of actual artistic merit.

Take The Last of Us for example since it's super prominent right now. Wonderful adaptation btw.

But what the fuck is with die hard game fans who insist the "infected are not zombies." Uhhhh, yeah they are. They are a largely mindless horde of apocalyptic monsters that spreads infection through biting, infecting a host, then the host turns to bite others and the cycle goes. The word for that? ZOMBIE. You can argue all day that because they're technically a fungus this makes them different, but thematically they're fucking zombies.

Then there's this weird report from the TLOU writers' room that the word "zombie" wasn't allowed to be said on set because it's "not a zombie show," which is also irritatingly pedantic and shows a significant lack of understanding for what a "zombie show" is??? And I get why they might have this defense, because you have dipshit braindead media analysts like Ben Shapiro going "but if zombie show then why gay people in it so much??? more zomboo pls???," and like-- fuck idiot media analysts like that. But also fuck this pretentious holier-than-thou "our show isn't about the zombies" attitude.

You want to know something? Unless you're dealing with a B movie cheap budget slasher gorefest, then almost NO ZOMBIE SHOW OR MOVIE IS ABOUT THE FUCKING ZOMBIES. Night of the Living Dead is considered the pioneer of the genre and the biggest conflicts in this film (the genre's CONCEPTION) come from mistrust and panic among the survivors who cannot trust one another-- ending with the last survivor being shot down by the rescue party. The Walking Dead may be a really shitty show but it is still one of the most prominent long-term zombie media series ever made, and the real drama comes from human conflict and emotions and loss-- it's never just "fight zombies."

Zombie shows aren't supposed to be about the zombies. They never have been.

[astroboots]

omg tbh grumpy bored Miguel just having to sit, wait, hand over his credit card and then carry bags from lingerie store to lingerie store is so important to me and my daydreaming lmaoo. Punishment fits the crime imo!!

I also love the idea of him going solo and buying lingerie he likes and leaving her little presents because A) if she likes the pieces then perfect!! or B) if it’s not her taste then it’s perfectly okay for him to rip them of her and she doesn’t even get mad 😏😏

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x reader

Astroboot’s Masterlist | Spiderverse Masterlist

When you had asked him to come with you to go shopping for lingerie, he had been thrilled.

Why wouldn't he be.

It had sounded like a great way to spend a few hours of on a lazy weekend together.

In his mind, it'd be you half naked, parading in scanty underwear for his eyes only.

A private fashion show, except sexy, instead of boring, where you'd be wearing a lacy piece that would barely cover your ass cheeks for him. A sheer peer of white panties that would leave nothing to the imagination. A frilly pair that was begging for him to rip them off right then and there, in the changing room.

He hadn't know then that it would be like this.

That apparently, in lingerie stores, men aren't allowed in the changing rooms. That he'd be banished in the lounging area, sat in a pink velvet armchair so tiny, it must be made for dolls that he can barely squeeze his ass into.

He's sitting here, exiled to this depressingly sad space of other bored husbands and boyfriends, who are half dozing off or staring at their phones like dreary zombies. Meanwhile he's hunched in on himself like a shocking elephant trying to fit in a goddamned teacup.

Not for the first time since he arrived in this world, the thought strikes Miguel that your world is a dystopia.

Because what other way is there to describe a world where one is supposed to sit sit mere feet away from their partner, while they get undressed and he's not allowed to look. Not allowed to touch. Not allowed to...

Shock.

This is torture. Why is he left out here like some abandoned dog out in the streets, forced to imagine what you look like in that tiny dressing room.

Forced to imagine you naked, with nothing on but a bra as you look at yourself in the mirror, and nothing he can do about it. Except sit here, as his dick stirs between his legs at the thought of it. Nothing to do but be tortured at the thought of you and your hands cupping your breasts as you try to decide if it's a good fit.

At the way you'd spin in front of your own reflection, and the way those sheer lacy panties he picked for you to try, that splits in the middle, would part as you move.

His fangs itch in his mouth at the thought of it. Fingers gripping into the arms of the armchair, as he resists every instinct to rush to his feet and break into your dressing room. Press you up against the wall until you're flat against it. Every inch of him pressed along yours, your legs wrapped around his waist, spreading you wide open as he --

"Miggy."

He breaks out of his reverie. Blinking up to see your face gaze down at him.

"I'm done," you tell him, showcasing the big shopping bag like a treasure.

Reaching over, he takes it from you. "What did you get in the end?"

"All of them. You've ripped so many I don't have anything nice to wear anymore except my old granny panties, so I figured I needed a whole new collection," you say a little pointedly as you serve him a side eye and steer him out of the shop.

He shakes the bag to peer inside, and the familiar white cotton and cherry patterns of the panties you wore this morning peeks out from the other wrapped items.

"Are those the panties you wore here?"

"Mhmm," you hum absentmindedly as you continue to steer the two of you towards the exit of the mall.

It's probably not easy for you to do, cause Miguel is larger than you, and the place is crowded, but he's too distracted to be more helpful to you in this moment.

Images of you flit through his mind. Of the cute sheer panties you'd picked up earlier hugging your hips even as you're walking next to him in this moment.

"Which one are you wearing now?" He has to swallow down the saliva flooding his tongue so he can ask the question.

Training his eyes on the bag, he tries to sneak another peek, even though every other piece has been carefully wrapped in pink tissue paper. "Is it the pink one? or the red ones?"

You cock your head slightly to the side and observe him with an amused smile lingering on your lips.

"Nope," you tell him, still with that casual smile.

"The sheer lacy one then?"

"No, not that one either."

"The baby blue?"

You shake your head and he frowns. This game of 20 questions is getting a bit too drawn out for his liking. And he doesn't quite get why you won't just give him the answer. Still there's only two more guesses left.

"The black satin?"

"No."

"So the--"

"I'm not wearing that one either," you finish before he even can point out the final option.

His eyebrow quirks in question. "What do you mean?

The gears in his heads are turning but not fully comprehending what you mean by that. He saw the ones you wore this morning in the shopping bag, and if you didn't wear any of the ones you bought then--

"I'm not wearing anything."

... Shock.

Dedication & Credits: To my most beloved @thirstworldproblemss for always having the patience to listen to my unhinged thoughts. She had the most delicious thots about what happens minutes after this.

How Miguel would be too impatient to wait until you made it back home. How Miguel would have you pinned against the wall in a semi-secluded area, all: “don’t worry about it, nena. I’ll know if anyone’s coming, and we’ll be long gone before they get here.” But then being so distracted by you and the feeling of you wrapped around his cock that you nearly get caught anyway, and it’s only because you notice in the last second before discovery and tap him in alarm that makes him manage to haul you out of sight before you got caught.

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[hades-in-bloom]

Al Dente

Leon S. Kennedy x Reader

summary: he might be of Italian descent, but he still can’t nail cooking pasta.

warnings & contents: assumed older Leon, but could be of any period; assumed age gap, but could be none; reader could be of any gender; fluff with attitude and smth that could be considered a prelude with grabbing and kisses; mentions of drinking; no pasta recipes, really, just stupid banter; a little bit of manhandling

a/n: am not Italian, so please let me know if I’ve committed any blasphemy. Also, this is one silly piece of writing because I’m de-stressing and can’t write anything serious, but am also obsessed with Leon tapping into his Italian descent. As always, proceed with caution and at your own risk; minors DNI! Masterlist

***

‘Oh, I swear…’ Leon mumbled, taking a look into the deep cylindrical pot that was cooking on the stove; the water boiling merrily. Kennedy sighed; he got distracted for a few minutes while taking a call from D.S.O.—which seemed enough for a batch of pasta to turn into goo.

Again.

Leon huffed out a bad word, lifted the pot from the heat, and dropped it straight into the sink without any attempt to retrieve its doughy contents. The man cracked open another beer bottle and took a sip, visibly consumed with heavy thoughts; the number of beers had perfectly correlated with the number of unsuccessfully cooked batches of pasta. Although Leon has never encouraged food waste, this time the big and scary D.S.O. agent refused to give up, steadily losing his sobriety with each try.

You watched him suffer for quite a while, half through the bottle of wine yourself—because grabbing popcorn would be too obvious and undoubtedly rude, although the show was getting more entertaining by the minute; Leon’s frustration was evident.

‘How’s it going?’ you hummed from behind his back. You did your best to hide your smirk.

Leon groaned. He knew you were having a laugh; who wouldn't in that situation, anyway.

‘I’d rather shoot a horde of zombies,’ Kennedy mumbled. He took another sip of his beer and hummed, assessing the situation. ‘Also, I'm running out of pasta.’

You were convinced he deserved the roast; however, his genuinely concerned facial expression made you chuckle.

‘Should we take a break?’ you tilted your head slightly, watching his reaction.

‘We?’ Leon raised his eyebrow, giving you a side-eye. ‘I am getting tortured. What exactly are you doing?’

You thought about it briefly; took a sip from your wine glass.

‘I guess I should be qualified as moral support?’ you assumed.

Leon scoffed, then couldn’t hold back a chuckle. He turned around, facing you; his eyes trained on your features then.

‘I bet you don’t know how to cook a proper al dente either.’

‘You bet?’ wine was your liquid courage, so you might have been too venturesome at that moment. Neither of you complained, though. The man of the hour was intrigued. ‘What if I were to cook you the nicest al dente pasta you’ve ever eaten, Kennedy?’

Scott snorted in a friendly manner and folded his arms over his chest.

‘Ever eaten is a bold claim, sweetheart,’ he teased, his smile growing wider. ‘My family were immigrants from Italy, you know that, right?’

You shrugged his comment off light-heartedly.

‘If I lose, I lose, right? And you could claim your prize,’ you smirked. Oh, you had no doubts he was interested.

His gaze bore into yours for a second; then his features relaxed, although you still could see his shoulders tense—you let it slip.

‘Alright, go forth and forward,’ he smirked; his stare spoke volumes. ‘I will start thinking of what you owe me in return when you screw it up.’

You quickly cleaned up the kitchen countertop, allowing clean water to boil one more in the cooking pot while you measured two portions of store-bought pasta.

Leon watched your actions over your shoulder before you felt his large palms on your hips.

‘Nicely done,’ he murmured from under your earlobe.

You knew he wouldn't be able to play fair; he wasn't big on losing, whether major or minor—and you cooking pasta al dente better than him, taking into account his heritage, was a below-the-belt insult to him. Thus, he didn't mind deploying desperate measures.

‘That’s cheating, Kennedy,’ you muttered, putting the batch of pasta into the pot.

‘I don't remember me touching you being against whatever rules,’ he hummed, placing his lips on your neck. Your heartbeat fastened. ‘Fairly, I don't remember us discussing any rules.’

‘You’ll regret it when I win,’ you claimed. Leon glanced into your pot once again. ‘A couple of minutes more…’ You hummed.

‘How do you know the perfect timing?’ he moaned into your ear. You smirked.

‘Who knows, maybe it would be awful…’ you teased, and he shook his head.

‘No, it won’t,’ Leon concluded quickly and, by lifting you up, grabbed you onto his shoulder. You squealed, losing the ground from under your feet, and clung onto his t-shirt from the back in an attempt to keep your balance.

‘Oh, you fiend!’ you watched him turn off the stove before dragging you into the bedroom. ‘That was our dinner!’

‘I think you're right—we should take a break; maybe, we could order pizza…’ he hummed. You groaned in response, helplessly hanging from his height, his hand holding you tight right under your asscheeks.

Leon let you slide from his shoulder onto the mattress in the bedroom, hovering over you in the next second. His lips barely touched yours when he smirked and watched you blush then.

‘…after I finish with the appetizer.’

[dailyunstableeve]

She's just dropping by to gear up

Jill valentine x cashier/soldier!Fem!reader (at the gas station)

tw: This contains smut, interact with caution. nsfw, some breast play, fingering, dom!Jill, sub!reader, some alcohol, Jill loves to tease, kinda a fall in love in first sight

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⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⭒─⭑─⭒──⭒─⭑─⭒──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

“Day 258,” you signed, crossing out a date off your notebook. Your work here has become more and more boring, can't help it, you gotta pay the rent or else you'll be on the street, turning into a zombie.

Ew, thinking of it makes you shiver.

Lucky for you, there's not much people actually come to this gas station for anything so it allows you to blast music, when all you need to do is keep this place clean. Afterall, this is not just some normal gas station by the road. This gas station is also counted as a safe zone from the virus, if zombies start to roam around this area, which means things get way out of hand.

It's not everyday a new virus is created.

From the day you've been assigned here, it's only Chris who appears here, he’s on mission more than anyone, eventually both of you become friends. Sometimes he would invite you to have a drink with him.

Other than that, taking out the trash has never been your favourite of all the stuff you gotta do, no one likes going to the dark back space of the station, you really should push the trash bin next to the station at least there's a little light there.

You heard a car stopped in front of the gas station that made you jump and run back to the cashier. It's a truck, looks very dirty, you silently judge it but when a woman with short hair walks out from the truck, you keep your judgement away.

“Welcome!” You put on your smile.

Oh my gosh, finally a customer after so many days.

“Hi, I would like to stock up,” The woman said, holding her s.t.a.r.s badge up, Jill Valentine, she looked so tired.

If only I can help her rest.

“Yeah, follow me,” you swiftly shut down the gas station, pressing the button under the cashier, then a secret room appeared, “everything you need should be there.”

“Thank you.”

You watched her walk down the stairs to the room then you followed behind.

“So, why is a girl like you here?” Jill asked you as she's checking up on the stocks.

“Well, the pay is high, and I need to pay rent,” you shrugged your shoulders.

“Won't it be boring? Missing out on the actions?”

“Well if it takes for someone like you to show up here, I'm pretty sure it's worth it,” you chuckled.

To look closely, she's just too hot for you to not take your eyes off, you can't stop staring at her.

“Say, too busy to catch a date after whatever you're gonna do after?” You asked, believing your confidence could get you a date with Jill.

“That will depend on if I made it back alive or not,” she softly chuckled.

“I pray for your return, Jill.”

“Thank you.”

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

A week has gone by, you're still hopelessly waiting for Jill to appear, for once you were looking forward to getting a date, especially since you work in a place that's basically isolated from the city. The whole week gave you a lot of time to think about what kind of date you and Jill could do, but also at the same time, who will take over your place if you asked for a leave? Chris is the first name that appears since you only know him but you can't possibly ask him for that because you're gonna go on a date and he's actually higher rank than you are.

Oh Jill.

You wanted to see her so badly, your mind has been nothing but her face projecting everything and everywhere.

“Y/N.”

“Oh Chris, stock up?”

“No, not today, I'm taking the time to rest,” he bitterly smiled. All those missions he went to must be hard for him, at some point you can't even think what you would do if you were sent to fight zombies.

“Well, if they are asking for you, everything you need is here to get ready,” you laughed and brought out your secret stash, “do you think you'll be able to drink?”

“Call it your lucky day today.”

Three bottles have been emptied out, and Chris is on the fourth bottle.

“Ugh, I am so needed to get my tolerance up,” you complained at your poor tolerances with alcohol.

“Don't beat yourself up, you did better than last time,” Chris laughed.

“Sometimes, I feel like it's a great idea they don't have cameras here, only for the road outside,” you fell onto the counter, the alcohol slowly kicking in, causing your vision to turn wobbly.

“Chris, do you happen to know someone called Jill Valentine?” You asked.

“Jill, yeah I know her, she's my friend.”

“Is she doing okay? I wanted to see her,” you mumbled.

“How do you know Jill in the first place?”

“She stopped by to stock up,” you answered.

“She just recently reported in from her last mission.”

“I see.”

Jill must've been taking a rest after the mission, she'll appear when she is finished. That's what you told yourself.

An hour later, Chris is fully defeated by the alcohol, you have to drag him down to the basement room to let him rest there while you're still trying to sober up. When you got back up to the surface, you spotted a motorcycle outside the gas station and someone was on it. You thought it's someone asking for directions so you talked to them through the small window.

“Hi, sorry the station is closed at the moment,” you speak through the small window, if Chris isn't on a mission, no one is.

“I'm here to pick up my date,” that familiar voice that has been dangling onto your mind for the past few days.

“Jill?” you excitedly asked, hop out from the shop.

“Is this a bad time?” She asked.

“No, not exactly, it's just that I have a drunk passed out Chris Redfield down the basement,” you laughed.

“Chris? What's he doing here?”

“Well, to be honest, it's usually just him showing up here to stock up so eventually we became friends,” you explained.

“So, I'm taking it that you can't leave?” Jill asked.

“I can't, Chris is here and I'm actually still trying to sober up,” you awkwardly chuckled.

“That's alright, we can chill here.”

“I'm so sorry if you have any plans for today, I'm sure next time we can do it.”

Just like that, you and Jill had the date on top of the rooftop, it wasn't really bad, both of you took the chance to know more about each other.

“Well, I know I'm still trying to sober up, but can't spoil the fun for you,” you brought up the remaining alcohol that's left from you and Chris.

Both of you think that it would be fun if you and Jill play some games, such as truth and dare, so the game is on. You started out with asking simple truth and dare for Jill, taking it as a chance to try to know her better, Jill did the same, until you decided you wanted to do something more.

“Truth,” Jill chooses.

“Jill, why did you choose to be on this date?”

“Is that even a question that can be asked?” She frowned, hiding that slight blush off her face.

“C'mon, I'll let you ask the similar question to me later.”

“Well, you're cute, and you have the confidence to ask me out on a date, and from all those talks we had just now, you're an incredible person, and I would love to know you more,” Jill answered.

You hope it's illegal because of how Jill is making you blush at the moment.

“Truth or Dare?” Jill looked at you.

“Dare.”

“Do the one thing you wanted to do so badly right now,” Jill smirked.

“Oh wow, okay, embrace yourself then,” you chuckled as you moved from your seat, moving closer to Jill, both of you looked at each other as you leaned forward for a kiss on her cheek.

You and Jill hold eye contact, she rested her hand on your cheek, looking into your eyes then she leaned forwards, left a kiss on your lip. You returned one back, and she did the same. Jill pulled you closer towards her as she kissed you.

Jill slowly pulled away, holding your hands and rushed down to the basement, a different room from where Chris is sleeping in, she slammed the door, inviting you to join her on the bed that's supposed for pass by soldiers to rest in.

You can feel her touch, slowly caressingly running up and down your body as her soft cherry lip pressing onto yours, giving you the kisses you'll never forget. Her kisses were harsh but yet sweet, brushing your hair to the side as she played with your ear, giving that tingling feeling but all you can focus on is her lip, needing every taste of it.

Jill slowly moved her hand inside your top, drawing circles on your cute tummy, drawing a sensation in you, her hand moved more further up, lifting up your top, revealing that black lace bra. Jill breaks the kiss as she turns her focus to your body, “what a gorgeous you are, sweetie,” as she's sitting on you, looking down. Jill admired your body a little longer, when she met your eyes again, she could see the desire you are wishing so badly for.

You wanted to kiss Jill so badly.

You wanted her touch everywhere on your body.

You wanted to feel her.

You wanted to be hers.

But Jill just looked at you, with a small smirk on her face, she's enjoying this.

“Please Jill,” you mumbled, you felt the heat on your face so you tried to hide your reddened face as you tried to form words.

“Yeah, sweetie?”

You know, she wants you to use your words to beg for her, you slipped your needy side to Jill and now she’s waiting for you to tell her what you need.

“Manage to get the conversation out for a date, can't say what's next?” Jill leaned closer, whispered in your ear, fingertip drawing around your body, teasing your poor desire.

You started to blame the alcohol you drank with Chris just now, you can't think straight.

“I want you Jill,” you looked into her blue eyes, babbling out the words, “I need you Jill, I want to feel you, so badly.”

“Good girl.”

Jill single handedly unhooked your bra, removing every pieces clothings of yours, leaving your naked body bare on the bed. Her hand cupped up your breast as she gently sucked on it, while her other hand fiddled the other lonely breast, muffled moans started to fall out from your mouth, you had your mouth covered, afraid that Chris would hear you.

“It's okay, no one is going to hear us,” she looked at you, admiring the expression you have on your face at the moment, then continued back what she's doing.

You couldn't tell how long it has been for Jill enjoying her time with your breast, she made you feel so good but yet a part of your body is throating for more.

“You gotta use your words to ask for what you want,” Jill pinned down your lower body, you immediately looked down and realised what you did, a dark spot stained on her jeans.

“I want you Jill.”

“Where?”

You held onto her hand as you guided her to the between of your thighs, “here please.”

Jill leans in for more kisses as her hand continues drawing circles the area between your thighs, you wish her to touch, but she likes to tease you a little longer before giving you what you ask for. You squirmed under her touches, you started to beg Jill, mumbling words into her ears, letting her know just how badly you wanted her.

Jill slowly inserted her middle finger in your cunt, spreading up your inside, your body squirmed as you gripped on both of her shoulders, she started to push it more deeper in, as her thumb rubbing on your sensitive clit. Jill could feel every twitch you made, your sweet moans getting louder and louder in her ears, babbling words that can't be understood as she picked up her pace.

Your hip started to lean upwards to Jill, she knows this movement of yours proves that you're close so she pulled away, leaving you groaning and whimpering, asking why she pulled away. You know damn well the answer, she loves to tease and she will take every opportunity she has to tease you until she thinks you deserve to cum.

Jill gives your clit a few gentle rubs, then spreads your inside with two fingers this time. Jill quickly picks back up the pace, your slick juice dripping down from her hand and your thighs, the sloopy sound as Jill thrusted her finger in, hitting the spot, tells just how wet you are. Jill found your mumbling as you're trying your best to cum, cute. She wanted to tease you so much more until you can't even say anything but continually cumming on her fingers but you've been a good girl for her.

“I love you Y/N,” she planted kisses around your neck, your collarbone, your breast, your arch up tummy.

“I love you too Jill,” your arm wrapped around her shoulder, head resting on Jill's shoulder, mumbling her name with the mix of your moans.

“I'm gonna- cum,” you mumbled out, hooked your legs around Jill's waist, gripping harder onto her shirt.

“Cum for me sweetie, cum for me, Y/N,” she whispered into your ear.

Your eyes roll back as your head throws back while you are still gripping onto Jill's shoulder, your hip leans upwards and stays there for a while as you feel the electric shock running through your body and letting out the loudest moans.

Your body immediately flopped back on the bed, trying your best to catch your breath. You could feel Jill caressingly brushing your hair, a soft kiss on your lip, “you did a great job.”

“I love you Jill.”

“I love you too Y/N.”

Hands holding onto each other, Jill flopped on the bed together with you, pulling you closer so she could cuddle with you.

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an: Here's my pardon approach, this is the first time working on the smut, please pardon me for any mistake I've made, and ofc, do let me know which part could be improve so I can learn from my mistake ;-; I hope you guys somehow did enjoyed it ❤️

Masterlist

Imagine this is how it ended:

“And I might have lied,” Jill softly chuckled.

“What did you lie about?”

“The room is not soundproof.”

“Jill!” You jolt up, looking at her.

“I'm pretty sure Chris is still asleep at the moment,” Jill pulled you back into her arms, “we'll worry about it later.”

[luveline]

Hi id love to send u a request but I just can't match your genius mind, id looooveee more zombie!au Steve!!! 🥺🥺🥺🫶🏻🫶🏻 maybe smth about r or Steve almost being bitten by a geek?

hi!! thank you angel!! zombie au steve x fem!reader, 3k

"Sneaking around with your boyfriend would've been considered sort of scandalous a few years ago," you think aloud, eyes skipping over medication labels slowly. "Now it's the norm."

"We are the opposite of scandalous," Steve says. 

You push pill bottles aside to meet his eyes through the gap in the shelves. He narrows his gaze. "You know how you saw me naked, like, a week after we met?" 

Steve's glare turns playfully salacious. "Yeah?" 

"Did that make it less, uh, important? Not important. Was it less intimate for you when I was naked on purpose?" 

Steve returns his eyes to the pill bottles. "No." 

"Is that weird for me to ask you?" 

"No, that's not weird, why would that be weird?" He looks up again. His expression softens. "Don't worry, it's not weird. It's a normal question. You're wondering if I was… desensitised." 

"Yeah, exactly. Were you desensitised?" 

Trust Steve to say something snippy and then feel bad enough afterwards to immediately backtrack. There's no need for him to feel guilty because you'd known he was joking, and if he weren't it wouldn't matter to you —you know being outside of camp makes him nervous, and tightly strung. You aren't expecting him to be all smiles, especially when you're asking peculiar questions. 

"If anything," he says, his voice a murmur that evidences shy affection, "it was way more special. I knew you back to front already, but the first time you showed me you, on purpose, it was different." 

You grin at him. "Like a look don't touch scenario where you finally get to touch?" 

"I'm trying to be sweet on you." 

"What was it like?" you ask. Your smile is audible. 

"Like fucking relief." He reaches through the shelves to squeeze your hand. "You're being slow." 

You take your hand back and return to the task. You're looking for anti-seizure medication for one of the children at camp. It's an important mission and neither of you had hesitated when Joyce asked you to go, but you can't say you enjoy being out here. Talking to Steve makes things better. Easier to cope. Talking to Steve about loving him and being loved by him could make you forget a pike through the chest. 

You move to the next shelf below. 

There aren't many drugs for epilepsy. You aren't sure the child even has epilepsy, but no one has the knowledge to identify anything else. Sarah (Robin's fast friend from camp) read in her field medic journal that a seizure can be caused by lots of things, and she also said that sometimes what looks like a seizure isn't a seizure at all. What is it, then? you'd asked. 

The page was missing. 

You're working through a mental list of four drugs methodically, scanning and rescanning the labels on the bottles in the back of a pharmacy. This is the raw stuff, the kind that sometimes needs to be ground and poured into capsules with filler, so if you do find the right meds you'll also need to find a pestle and some other equipment. It's a hassle, but it's worth it completely if it helps. 

"Clonazepam," you read. You lift your head. "Steve, that's the right one, right? Clonazepam?" 

Steve's head snaps up. "Yeah, that's the last resort one. Where's that?" 

He rounds the shelves to be on the same side as you, seemingly hoping for similar medications to be in the same place. His hand drops casually to your shoulder as he bends, reading each label with a determined brow. 

"Valproate," he says, relieved, hand closing around another bottle. "Okay, two options. Thank god." 

"Do they have the side effects on the bottle?" you ask. 

Steve turns the bottle but there's no second label.

"The side effects are usually worse than the original problem," he says, frowning, "remember those migraine pills we found, the leaflet?" That's how bored you and Steve had become at one point in your isolation, you'd started reading medical pamphlets. "I'd rather have a headache than lose my sense of smell." 

"Depends on how bad the headache is. You keep looking for the, uh, the carba-Tegre one. I'll go scout the equipment." 

"Tegretol," he corrects lightly. "Carbamazepine, brand name Tegretol." 

You're impressed by his memory. He sees that, and he lifts his hand to you. Palm your way, you can see he's written the names of the medication as you'd been advised to find by one of the camp members, a retired carer who worked bedside for a lady who suffered from epilepsy. 

"Your spelling is terrible," you say. 

"Whatever," he says flippantly. You're barely ten paces away when he adds, "I love you." 

"I love you too," you say. There's no need to call. The building, this entire town, is silent. You'll hear a geek a mile away. 

You poke at dusty equipment sceptically. You don't need filler, you don't think, but it affects absorption, maybe? You're not a pharmacist nor a chemist, whoever's watching knows you didn't have time to become much of anything, you're just doing as the retired carer advised. There's a press contraption with what feels like hundreds of caplet sized holes toward the front. You put it in your bag and lament its weight as you search for a pestle. 

"I've found the filler," Steve says. "There's a huge container of it. Lactose. And another of starch."

"Starch, like potatoes? We could put her medicine in mash potato."

"I think we just need a pestle and a weighing scale now. And some hand sanitiser." 

"I'll have the scales and the sanitiser, what about Robin's deodorant?" you ask. 

"At the front. I'll get it. You'll have another one?" 

"Please tell me they have that Carribean Crush one again, it was lovely." 

"You're lovely. I'll find it." 

The weighing scale must get its name from how ridiculously heavy it is. That along with the pestle has your bag feeling like a boulder attached to your neck. Maybe Steve will be willing to share the load with you. Actually, there's no need for maybe. If you tell him, he'll carry it with you happily. 

You scan the room for useful things. Batteries, food, things you've trained your eye to pick out of a bomb site if necessary. You pocket a pen for Steve and leave the rest where it lays, stepping out into the slightly bigger medications room before rounding a plexiglass wall to the pharmacy counter. Steve crouches down the aisleway, rejected roll-on deodorant on the floor beside him. 

You're about ten feet away from him when the geek lunges for him. 

You can't even tell it's a geek at first, it moves quickly, quietly, smooth as a living human. They've become diverse as the infection thrives, and you should've been thinking about that fact. You should've been standing at the front of the room. 

You freeze. You freeze and you waste time. 

"Steve!" you shriek. 

Steve's flat on his side, kicking with the entire force of his body. The geek actually bounces back with the force of each kick, but he's persistent, and stronger than he should be, a mottled hand on Steve's shoulder and decaying teeth snapping with a sound like cracking marble near his face. Steve tries to scramble from under the geek and its face falls down by Steve's ribs and upper arm. He yanks his arm away, and there's an odd ripping sound. 

You run so fast down the aisle to protect him that you can't slow, the entire weight of your body and the heavy bag you carry throttling the geek with a horrid slap against the glass door. It flies open and you topple out onto asphalt, sliding across the geek's body and taking the brunt of your rolling in your hands and the top of your face. Steve shouts a war cry and barrels after you. You go on knees, hands trembling and rushing as you grab for the knife in your belt. Steve lands on top of the geek and drives the blade of his pen knife straight into the crease between its brows, grunting as he goes, his breath coming too fast. 

You've clipped your head on the floor, the warmth of blood trickling down your brow. It doesn't concern you. 

What concerns you is the sizable tear in Steve's coat. 

He almost cuts you with his knife as you run at him, yanking the sleeves of his coat and jacket down. 

"What– what are you doing?" he asks. You tug at his sleeve like you've been possessed, panic a coil that won't loosen in your throat. "What–?" 

If he's been bitten, you'll have to saw his arm off. It's the most horrible thing you can think of, hurting someone you love, hurting the one person you love most. Your breath is half sob as you finally get his outerwear off of his arm. You don't know how to do that to somebody and especially Steve, how could you ever sever a limb? But if it will stop the infection, if it would save him—

You push the long sleeve of his t-shirt up his arm and stare down at his arm. Bruised near the wrist, pale, threaded with dark-green veins, his skin is unbroken. He hasn't been bitten. 

You pull his arm to your chest and almost break down there in the street. Steve stands with his coat hanging off of his one shoulder and doesn't respond to your actions for a long, heavy second. 

"You thought it bit me," he says. 

Your breath catches. 

"It didn't bite you." 

"No," he says, "it didn't bite me." 

"Your coat." 

Steve pulls you back inside of the store. He looks around the room twice, and then leads you to an empty corner to hug you. 

You're frenetic and frantic at once, hands sliding up and down his arm, eyes tracing his light skin like an injury might materialise. 

"It didn't bite me," Steve says, "but you're bleeding." 

You hiss as his fingertip locates your cut forehead. It must be a very small cut considering how little it bled. You've had head injuries that wept for hours, leaving you dizzy and disorientated from the subsequent lack of blood. This one's a wimp. 

You've also seriously hurt your shoulder from the backpack's weight and your small skirmish. You're not going to tell him that, not now, not when you've been dropped face first into the horror of potentially losing him forever. 

Steve eases out of his jacket. He takes your hand from his arm and pushes both sleeves up, bearing both arms in front of you. 

"It didn't get me, honey. Try to calm down." 

He says it softly, with no judgement or condescension. Only concern. 

"I'm fine," you say. 

It's strangled, you'll admit. Steve turns his arms to show you both sides before he tilts your head up and toward the meagre filtering sunlight, analysing your head injury in detail. 

"Did you hurt yourself? When you fell, did it feel like you hit it hard, or was it something sharp?" You don't answer, and he gets snippy. "Y/N, tell me. Did it hurt?" 

"Steve, you're the one who almost got bit." 

"And you're the one who almost died of a fucking concussion not that long ago, in case you forgot. Sit down. I'm not kidding, sit down." 

You blink, mildly startled by his hissing, and sit on the ground. He's being snappy because he's panicking, that's all it is. You hold back an unhelpful comment that your concussion had been months and months ago, so it kind of was long ago. 

He lets his coat and jacket fall to the floor and jogs back up the aisle to the bandages and gauze. He takes a detour for antiseptic, and then he sets himself down in front of you. 

"Did you hit it hard?" he asks. 

You shake your head. 

He doused a piece of gauze in antiseptic. "Sting," he warns, washing the length of your forehead with his makeshift wipe. He quickly swaps the bloodied one for a clean one. "Hold this." 

You hold it. He gets back up, scouring the shelves by the bandages until he plucks out a small box. He crushes it with his hand and the medical tape inside falls into his waiting palm. He sits again, tears two strips, and lines the edges of your gauze with them. It would all be much easier if they had big band-aids. 

"Show me your pupils, baby," he says. 

Steve, for his street smarts and survival skills, used to freak out about injuries. But Steve freaking out freaks you out and he guessed that soon enough, so every cut and bruise these days is met with a silent approach. It's the opposite of your reaction. Embarrassment starts to creep in. 

You widen your eyes and let Steve check your pupils. 

"Same size," he says. 

"It's just a cut." 

Steve shuffles across the floor so his thigh is pressed to yours, rather than having his back to the store. He breathes out slowly, breathes in quick, and then forces the bottom of his palm into his thigh cruelly. 

"How the fuck did that happen?" he asks. If he weren't being hyper vigilant, he'd be scrubbing his eyes in a tell tale nervous tic. "We haven't had something like that in months. We swept this whole place when we came in, where the fuck was he hiding? I feel sick." 

"You do?" you ask, terrified. 

"It didn't bite me," he assures you again. Thankfully without any annoyance. 

"It ripped a chunk out of your coat with its teeth. Forgive me for thinking your skin was less hardy than pressed plastic." 

Your acidity shocks you both. 

Things are awkward for a split second, 'cos it's difficult to feel awkward around someone who you've spent every second of the day with since you met. You feel for a moment that you could just take him by the shoulders and shake him. You love him, you could never hurt him, but he has to see sense: he doesn't understand how much you need him. Not to keep you alive, but to give you a reason to do it yourself. If he got bit, you'd die. Plain and simple. Internally first, but surely the heartbreak would murder you in the end. 

"I didn't know you were so disagreeable," Steve says. 

"I didn't know you knew a word that long."

Steve laughs, startled. You want to be mad, but you're so thankful that he's not dying and so suddenly wiped you can only laugh with him.

"I forgot how quick you are when we fight," Steve says. 

"We don't fight anymore." 

"That could be amended. Especially if you're going to get fresh with me."

"You started it." 

"I always start it." Steve flicks your shoulder."Let me see your head," he says. You turn your neck so he can see the outermost side of your head. "You swelled up like a helium balloon when you fell through that floor. It was right at the back of your head and I could tell something was wrong… This is fine. It bulged out last time." 

"It what?" you demand, pulling another rare laugh from him.

He winds down, clasping your knee. You cover his hand, and only then do you realise it's shaking.

"Steve, you almost died." 

"But I didn't die, I'm fine, and you need to stop freaking out because high blood pressure is definitely bad for a concussion. You could die yourself if you don't relax, seriously." Steve clears his throat. "Sorry, for getting heated. And thanks for knocking that guy clean off of me, what was that? You holding out on me when we wrestle? That was clean." 

"That was like, a mom's adrenaline thing. No, not 'cos I'm your mom, idiot. Loved one's adrenaline. I thought you were gonna die and suddenly I could've run for fucking gold in the Tokyo Olympics." 

"How did I get some of that? Whenever you're hurt I just feel like crying." 

"I think the crying bit comes after. Maybe if you tried getting to me quicker you'd have enough adrenaline to save me." 

He smiles before he talks, so you know it's going to be bad, "If a geek eats me during an adrenaline rush, am I a human Red Bull?"

"Okay, you have to keep an eye on the store because I need to be hugging you," you say, giving him little time to disagree as you climb on top of his lap. 

It's not comfortable nor sexy, but for once you don't care how heavy you are. You wrap your hands around the back of his neck and cradle his head, his face hooked over your shoulder so that he can still see your surroundings. He slides his hands underneath your coat and hugs you in turn. Your heart's still racing, and his hands are still shaking, but you lived. He lived. You've defeated danger for the hundredth time. 

"This really doesn't get any easier, does it?" you ask, petting his hair.  

He pats your back. "No, I don't think so. S'why I need you with me." 

"That's why I need you." 

Steve dots a quick kiss against the column of your throat. When he puts his chin back atop your shoulder, it's with a heaving sigh. 

"I can't believe you almost got bit," you say. 

"Yeah, well. Nobody has any manners anymore." 

[communistkenobi]

the individual intentions of the writers feels kind of secondary when talking about how reactionary the mandalorian has become, but if you wanted to be extremely generous about what’s going on, I think that the very simple and boring answer is that there is no financial incentive to care about what happens in the show anymore. Disney lost over a billion dollars on Disney+ last year, despite the wild success of the mandalorian and other D+ shows. I’m assuming the primary way they make money is off of mando and baby yoda merchandise - this would explain why the showrunners reunited both of them before the first episode of the third season even aired. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that the mandalorian now exists primarily to sell the mandalorian merchandise. it has become an advertisement for itself.

and this would explain a lot! It explains why virtually all of the narrative threads from the previous two seasons have either been dropped or quickly resolved. It explains the exponential increase in nauseating Star Wars references like “Han shot first” “it’s a trap” yoda doing backflips etc. It explains why Din has become something of a zombie, going through the motions without any particular motivation beyond whatever deranged escapade he and Bo-Katan get up to on a given week. There’s no point to caring because the only real pressure is getting eyes on the screen and selling more baby yoda stickers. This is why we went from an Ahsoka cameo in season 2 (an obvious ploy to launch another show but still somewhat reasonable for the story) to having Lizzo and Jack Black in season 3 (literally no narrative reason at all). Those celebrities are really popular and their inclusion in the show produces media headlines that combine their names with the mandalorian, optimising search engine results and presenting the opportunity to sell merchandise to Jack Black and Lizzo fans, even if they aren’t Star Wars fans.

but the shape of this not-caring takes on a particular political form in the show - its lack of care for politics doesn’t equally produce progressive and reactionary political conflict, it’s only reactionary. And one of the reasons for this is because I think a lot of pre-existing Star Wars canon, which this show is leaning more and more heavily on, is so politically fraught that using it without thinking about it produces reactionary narratives. I think this is a large reason why 3x03 was so deeply disturbing politically, because it was all set-up for the arrival of the First Order in the Sequel Trilogy. The show doesn’t seem to take any specific perspective on this aside from telling the audience that its all very ominous, but it’s only ominous because the First Order are established as the villains of the Sequels, not because the rise of fascism in a fictional world is a specific horror that Favreau wants to explore, and the reasons for its rise are extremely lazy, boiling down to “the government is too wrapped up in bureaucratic processes to care and too forgiving of the empire to notice.”

and two I think that in general, positioning your story in opposition to politics - not a specific set of political beliefs, just “politics” as a whole - also produces de facto reactionary narratives. the show is not espousing any positive beliefs about what an ideal world may look like, nor is it precise in its criticisms about what it believes to be the flaws that currently exist in the present day world. It’s just against bureaucracy in general, democracy in general, technology in general. and the show abdicates responsibility for taking a position on why it thinks any of these things are bad. Din dismissively scoffs “politics” in 3x06, perhaps the laziest possible admission that the show is not interested in exploring anything it considers political, and aims to position the characters as being outside of politics. but that itself is a reactionary position, to assume that presenting a “direct democracy” as an overly-decadent, hyper-tolerant society who is too scared to give cops guns but will arm citizens if their cultural “feelings” allow them to carry firearms as “not political.” Again to be way too overly generous, perhaps Favreau is attempting to wave in the general direction of current society and say wow doesn’t this suck! too much democracy produced trump, too much technology produced ipad babies, too much bureaucracy produced complicated tax forms. That’s still stupid and wrong but it’s at least not an openly fascist position. but when you don’t confront those things as political and just say “they suck” in a way that you believe to be outside of politics, the perspective you take is that of a reactionary. a refusal to confront what you consider political is itself a political position, one where you intentionally shrink your imagination of politics to, like, government employees who work at the government building, and everything outside of it is just “natural” society - or, in this case, deeply unnatural, perverted by politics. the only apparent solution for the political conflicts in the show is to scale back “the politics” that are preventing natural society from flourishing. That’s fucking reactionary! and like sorry to pull this card but the whole “I’m above politics” schtick has a pretty extensive history of appearing in fascist slogans, from Mussolini to fucking Alex Jones, a rallying cry that these people eternally get behind - “We’re above the Left-Right divide.” positioning yourself as above politics is itself a political act, one that has a lot of baggage that, by virtue of positioning yourself as being too good for politics, you will not engage with.

so like I don’t know if Favreau is “really” a reactionary. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter because his current cultural output is deeply reactionary. but I don’t think any of this is done with intentional malice. I think when you turn art into a purely financial instrument you produce art that is fascist by default, because its only goal is to concentrate financial and political power for the ruling class by appealing to “common man” interests like. fucking Star Wars!!!!!!

[marchsfreakshow]

My Darling Prince {Kyle Spencer x Fem!Reader}

Kyle trusts you, he wants to show you he loves you more than you can imagine. And you love to call him your prince.

Also: barely any plot at all btw. :)

Warnings!: Fem reader, pnv, Oral! Fem receiving, praise kink, lots of praise (my angel needs it) horribly fluffy ending

18+ MINORS DNI!

No one's perspective

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Y/N was laying in bed on her front, reading a Marvel comic. It never interested her, but she felt it was a good distraction while Kyle was out with Cordelia and Zoe. They went out an hour or two ago, so she hoped they would be back soon since Madison could bore Y/N to tears with how annoying she was.

Soon enough though, the door opened and Kyle ran up the stairs and banged his way into his shared room with Y/N. "Y/N!" He grinned, making her turn around and sit up.

"Hey, sweets. How are you?" She smiled back at Kyle, opening her arms so Kyle hugged her close. "Aw angel, tired?" She kissed Kyle's head gently, cuddling him. He nodded and looked up at Y/N.

"Lots of kisses..please." Happily, she agreed, letting Kyle gently places kisses over Y/N's face and making sure they were laid down. The kisses slowly became more heated, but Y/N pulled back fast.

"Sweets, are you okay to carry on? I don't want to make you re-live anything bad."

"Be okay. Carry on." Kyle breathed, placing his hand on her soft face. They both went back to soft kisses before becoming heated again. Hands roamed and the kisses were breathy now. Y/N closed the door quickly as possible before their small moans became louder.

Soon enough the heat made them take off their warm clothes. Tops were pulled off and hair was stuck to their sweaty faces. Same with trousers. Luckily for Kyle, Y/N was still wearing her pyjamas, so they slipped off her body easily and quickly. "Beautiful.." Kyle whispered, admiring every curve and shadow of her body. Y/N heavily blushed, and did the same to Kyle, tracing the parts of Kyle he still hated about himself.

"You're so much more handsome my prince."

"Kyle's princess." They both smiled, catching their breath. Kyle was on top of Y/N, both of them naked and sweaty from the heavy make-out session. "Carry on?" He asked, moving any of Y/N's hair out of her face. And she nodded, placing her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, being careful to not accidentally trigger Kyle.

He just smiled and moved himself down, putting Y/N's legs around his own neck, gulping before looking back up at her. "It's okay Kyle, you can do it. I'm proud of you either way." She cooed, petting his head as he nervously started to lick the outside of her pussy. He slowly gained more confidence as he realised how good she tasted. Kyle started at the top, by her clit, going up and down. Which just made Y/N moan more and more. "Fuck I love you, my prince. You're so..so good for me!" She managed to say despite losing breath from how much Kyle was making her moan.

Kyle smiled to himself, looking back up at Y/N who was unable to meet his eyes because of them being rolled back. He felt another wave of confidence, and slowly attempted to focus on the red and throbbing clit, guessing it was the best place to go. However, to keep her as still as possible, he held the underneath of Y/N's thighs, her shaking not helping in the slightest. "Close?" He quietly asked, in a nod was the elicited response. So he went back in, attempting to lick and nibble at every part he could find, hoping it would make Y/N as happy as possible.

"f..fuck Kyle, keep going...there." Breaths were let out from the shaky lady, and Kyle did so. Swiftly after, she grabbed onto a part of Kyle's hair, her orgasm building in her stomach. "Kyle!" She yelled out, unable to control herself, and cummed in one movement. The sweet zombie boy cleaned it up for her with his own tongue still and placed her legs back down on the bed. He waited for her to catch her breath, picking up the glass of water on the bedside table just in case.

"You did so well baby, thank you." She smiled, sitting up slightly and taking the water from Kyle's hands and taking a big swig of it. Y/N soon took Kyle's face in her hands and kissed him again, softer this time, nothing but love with every kiss they gave. "Do you feel okay to keep going?"

"Yes. Can, you stay there?" He gently asked, Y/N moving back down again. She nodded and rubbed Kyle's shoulders slightly. Just as quick as she came, Y/N was back to clinging around Kyle, and this time, he was lining himself up. His eyes were darting between his smiling girlfriend and her swollen pussy. It took him a while, but Y/N put her hand on top of his and helped him put his hard, leaking dick into her. A sharp little noise came from Y/N but she let out a deep breath and leaned up, kissing Kyle's neck.

"You can move prince, it's alright." With that affirmation, Kyle almost put his weight on Y/N, his arms going under her shoulders to keep the connection close. The thrusts started off slow, but everyone made Y/N feel like her soul was being taken out of her. Kyle was able to go so deep even when being slow, which they both preferred.

Sweat gathered on every part of their connected bodies, warmth growing in every part of them. Kyle's grunts and whines were muffled as he stuck his face into the crook of Y/N's neck, and Y/N was not afraid to let everyone know how much Kyle was pleasuring her. The windows and door were closed but you could probably hear it at every part of the house. But Kyle was getting more needy, and he started to get faster unconsciously. "Mmh princess.."

"Go faster prince. You're so...so good." Those words were muttered and occasionally they let out a moan of each other's names. The heat in the room almost fogged up the room, Y/N and Kyle's passion was so much. Because Kyle was going faster, you could hear skin slapping, and his whines filled the room as much as Y/N's moans.

Soon though, Kyle gripped onto Y/N tight and Whispered in her ear, "Can, can I come?"

"Cum with me my good boy." That tipped Kyle over the edge, and suddenly both Y/N and Kyle were cumming together, shakes taking over their bodies. The condensation on the windows cooled, now becoming see-through again, and one window was open to let in cold air. Kyle pulled out of Y/N slowly and moved to sit next to her. "You did so well for me Kyle. I'm so proud of you, and you made me feel so good." Y/N smiled, and Kyle grinned back, almost looking like a happy dog. They shared another kiss before Y/N picked a towel up that was next to the bed, and used it on herself. Once she was decently clean, she used it to get any extra cum off of Kyle's cock, and he shivered every time it was touched because of how sensitive it felt.

They soon lay next to each other, and facing one another with the duvet on top of them. "Very loud." Kyle giggled, holding onto Y/N by her waist. "But happy. Y/N is my princess."

"And Kyle is my prince. My wonderful prince." They giggled for a bit before calming down and cuddling into one another to have a nap.

[shinjisdone]

If you are still doing the Fem mc can you do a one with Floyd or Idia

Floyd is forever A tier man. Also I have been thinking of being a bit more self-indulged with these fem mc and friends asks since they did begin as self-indulgant fics for my oc lol. I find myself being able to write more creatively - trying to have a fem mc that everyone could insert themselves in or see any kind of interesting changes in is hard because frankly, the only thing about such a blank slate is that they are female.

while my own OC is also female and that does play a part in the little shenanignags, I also add a bit of her own personality and thoughts to make it a bit different (and as i said self-indulgent)

Plus, I honestly really struggled and disliked the riddle one, where I tried to not put any characteristics of my oc in there to make it more 'appealing' for anyone. But I found this just doesn not work for me.

I will do this one request with my OC in mind if that is okay!

Fem!Mc And Friends - Floyd Leech

Everyone, run! Before you get squeezed.

Floyd Leech is a weird combination of predictable and unpredictable. It can be expected to be looked down upon, threatened, challenged and squeezed by Floyd, yet when it comes to whatever he decides to stick with and spend his time on, he is a wild card.

Unfortunately, you are one of the many things he has decided to spend his time with. The little, jumpy 'Shrimpy' he came across.

And while he seems to stick to others and 'affectionately' refer to everyone with ocean-related names, he still seems...especially attached to you...

When You Spend Helloween Together...

Why would you spend Helloween with him? Are you crazy?

This is probably Floyd's favorite holiday on land. Dressing up as scary things (aside from himself) with the intention to terrify the crap out of anyone who crosses him? And he can get away with it? Who cares about some treats when he can carry out some tricks?

Even if you try to stay far, faaaar away from him Floyd will be sure to find you~

Where's Shrimpy, Shrimpy, Shrimpy~? Oh, are you dressed up, too? That's cute. You think you're gonna scare anyone with that?

Nothing scares Floyd and he still has the same kind of opinion of you since day 1. A meek, tiny shrimp. So he doesn't think you could pull any tricks anyway.

On top of that you are magicless and just a little girl in his eyes. Sounds mean but try as you might, he will never acknowledge you as 'bigger' or 'taller' even if you are.

Will first show off his costume (isn't it neat?) And threaten to terrify you right after (there's enough bandages to bind you down into a coffin).

Floyd always and I mean ALWAYS loves to mess with you but on this special day he feels like going all out. Scaring you, popping out of nowhere, acting like a real Zombie and like a bite from him could kill you??? You tell him off but he also acts like he believes what he says???

You may be a lot of things but no Zombie.

Hehe, you sure? Wanna try it out :) ?

He especially likes to tease you with his nickname for you. There's just something about it when you startle and jump up like these cats on land while he spooks you :) why can't Helloween be everyday?

Also your scared expression are just *chef kiss* to him. Will try every trick in the book to just...indulge in these shrieks and screams of fear.

And when he finds out you have a fear? Scared of the dark, spiders, thunder or oooohh zombies? Hehe, you're never getting rid of hiiiiimmm, Shrimpyyyyy!

Floyd would especially love it if you let out girly yelps or shrieks. He is surrounded by dudes in NRC so someone really girly is just interesting and more fun to tease.

Stuck in a haunted house with Floyd? Haha, help. Seriously, call for help!

Floyd is not stuck in a haunted house - the haunted house is stuck with Floyd. And you are right in the middle.

It feels like each scare and trick is being terrified into submission by him. The guy gets quickly bored out of his mind that he decides to spook the entire house. But besides that, he sticks with you and loves watching your reactions.

You will wish for the protection of Malleus and Deuce, because Floyd will not lift a finger to help or comfort you. He'll hang over your shoulder with that stupid, gleeful grin on his face (and the fangs near your flesh!) And laugh at your misery.

:(

But I feel like if something truly awful were to happen to you - maybe someone took a trick too far or made you cry - Flyod maaaaybe could become scary to everyone but you. Huh? Hey, you cannot terrify his Shrimpy that much. That's his job. Look what'chu did. Better get out of his sight.

When You Watch Him At His Club...

Oh boy. You can expect a lot "Hey, Shrimpy! Hey, hey! Over here, Shrimpy! Shrimpy, over here!"

He most likely threatened invited you to his basketball Club, no matter if there was a game or practice session.

It isnt thaaaat bad...Ace and Jamil are there too and they are miles more mellow than Floyd is if you ever need someone like that.

Ace will be a bit confused on why Floyd would invite you while Jamil is just hoping the guy will actively play for once in one go. Not when he feels like it.

Yet when you arrived, there Floyd was, taking you into his arms so tight you were lifted off the ground and squeezed so hard you thought you couldnt breathe.

Floyd is so happy to see you! Did Shrimpy come just for him and watch him play? Huh, did'chu, did'chu?

Also he would still hug you if he was covered in sweat and would not care. It'd be even funny if you were grossed out by it.

However...against all odds, Floyd would actually play - and go all out!

Even if it were practice, he is brutal. After each shot, he'd spin into your direction with arms shot up. A huge grin on his face. He's expecting you to watch him and only him.

Though if your attention is somewhere else, he'd pout and tell you to watch him! Look how much he's destroying the others!

In fact, you're supposed to cheer for him! Be Floyd's 'cheerleader' as he says. There's bunch of games where there's a girl cheerleader team that hypes up the audience and players! Do that for him! You got no choice if you don't wanna get on his bad side

Ah, should he get you one of these 'pom-poms'? You'd be so cute with them!

It just feels kind of special when the only girl in NRC is cheering for him. It's like in one of these movies!

Say a cheer that just consists of his name. Just that! Don't mention anyone else!

If you do pay attention or cheer for someone else, Floyd will not like it. Observing the other player like a hawk and leering at them with his classic 'huuuuh'? Even if they are on the same team.

Will do his best to kind of get your attention back on him. That can go from fouling the other player to telling you in your face to watch him. Him.

It can cost them the victory but Floyd wouldn't care. The sole reason why he even decided to come is because he dragged you here.

Ace is weirded out and Jamil's trying not to fume in anger.

When You Are Stranded On An Island...

Well. This isn't anything...novel for Floyd.

He IS from the ocean so a beach isn't something that would surprise or unnerve him. The sight of sand, the ocean, palm trees and the lovely sunlight...is rather boring to him.

Islands like this exist everywhere. Why should this one be any different?

Well, you are here for once.

And so are people like Crabby and Goldfish! This is sure to be fun!

Floyd will drag you to every place he finds interesting. Beaches are familiar to him so he can show and teach you anything! He's an expert in a way!

Collecting things is actually a dull activity to him. If you show any interest, he will just...drag you off. Maybe haul you around. If you say they are meant ad souvenirs, he still wouldn't budge and tell you these are boring trinkets instead. He knows much better stuff, come on!

His favorite thing to do is swimming for sure! Expect to be thrown into the sea and him quickly following after you. It doesnt matter what you are wearing, he will force you to swim with him.

Floyd will turn into his eel form and just drag you further and further into the seaaaaa~

Ace is getting worried and Riddle is screaming at him to return at once! You are supposed to find a way back to NRC!

It's kinda akin to a horror movie.

And since you two are so far out, you'll have no choice but to cling to him~!

Don't worry though, as much as Floyd teases and messes with you, he will never put you in any harm. He knows the sea better than anyone else.

He just likes having your arms around him and vice versa!

Floyd especially likes it when you're just a taaaaad biiiit scared and cling to him as if you'd never let go. It's just twice the fun and extra cute.

But hey, if you are already out here, why not explore a bit? He can hold you as you dive into the deep blue and catch some fish or anemona, spook some crabs or get some souvenirs from there! Anything down there is way better than on some beach!

You could be like a mermaid then! Don't you wanna try it?

Just act like your legs are fins and maybe let your hair open - oh, ya don't want to?

Meh, fine.

On another point, Floyd is not used to wear these vacation...swim...beach wear or whatever. But he guesses it's neat. Especially the sunglasses.

He would really like it if you wore ocean-related clothes or things. It just looks good on you.

Swimwear or bikini though? It's interesting wear but also...intriguing?

He's never seen something like that, the closest thing he knows are from mermaids. But well, they are half fish.

But on you...it looks good. Floyd would stare at you. Not shamelessly but more so out of curiousity. Shrimps don't usually look like that, you know?

Just wants to have fun with you.

[arroganceisherfavoritecolor]

Enjoy the silence

Carl and reader have a moment while on the job...

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*Reader uses fem pronouns, mentions of past bullying, reader is insecure✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

It had been a long day for you and your friends in Alexandria. You had been on a run since early in the morning, having to leave at sunrise due to the long drive out to a city to look for some supplies. You had all gotten back by the time the sun was almost completely out of sight, thankfully. You were all hoping to get home, shower and knock out as soon as possible. But of course, you and your best friend, Carl, were the two people Deanna had ordered to keep watch.

Now usually, you despised having to be on watch duty. You found it boring and agonizingly long, and what made it worse was the fact that there was no chance of sleeping till the next day. But when you did it with Carl, it was a whole different story. Carl always found a way to make the night more interesting, whether it be his funny dad-jokes or the gossip he would hear around Alexandria. In other words, Carl made everything so, so much better. Although it had only been about a year since you first met him, he felt like home. He surrounded you with a warm feeling, you knew that no matter what, you could go to him and you'd feel okay. As you were deep into your thoughts, you heard footsteps coming from the ladder. You looked to the right and saw Carl making his way up. Your heart lit up and you felt that feeling of warmth wash over you. You smiled at Carl involuntarily, just looking at him made you feel happy. "Hey [Name]." His voice sounded like music to your ears, better than any tune or beat you've heard in your life. "Hi Carl." He stood next to you. You and Carl were almost touching shoulders, since the towers small box-like frame didn't provide the most space. You began to converse with him, talking about how the day went. Every few minutes, either you or Carl would see a walker and shoot it down and then go back to your conversation.

It had been 3 hours of you and him talking. The time flew by like seconds. This was another thing you liked about Carl, it was the way you could talk to him for hours and never get bored. At some point, you had brought up how at one of the recent parties, some older women in Alexandria began to make snarky comments towards you. They said things about how your hair looked ragged and your skin was dull. You'd think that when in the middle of a zombie outbreak, they'd have much better things to worry about. "The old-heads gave me shit about my skin and hair again" you said with a slight chuckle, you didn't want Carl to think you were a sensitive crybaby. "tch, dont even pay attention to them [Name], they're just jealous because theyre all old and wrinkly." You laughed at Carls remark. "Its okay, I dont really mind. I remember in school, before the outbreak, kids would pick on me for the same shit." Carls once relaxed aura turned curious. "What would they say exactly?" He asked politely, not wanting to intrude.

"Well, it was usually about my face or my weight. It used to make me really upset, to the point where i'd beg my mom to not take me to school. But after a little while, I learned not to care . Besides, growing up with mostly skinny and pretty friends kind of toughens you up." You tried smiling at Carl and looking him in the eyes to show you werent sad. "What do you mean?" He asked. "A lot of my friends would have all the boys chasing after them, even in Kindergarten. Think of it like how Enid gets treated by every other teen here. Since I wasnt ever really the cute type, i'd just watch from the side." You smiled again, but this time avoided eye contact. "Wait, so youre saying that NO boys had crushes on YOU?" He emphasized on the "you" part. "I mean... I guess?" You shrugged while grinning. Carls face was twisted in a confused expression. "Why are you looking at me like that Grimes?" You laughed out. "I just find it hard to believe that no one ever 'like-liked' you." You tilted your head to the side, brows furrowed in confusion as to what he was gonna say. "Youre just so... perfect. Youre smart, funny, beautiful... and you can beat some zombie ass." You giggled, feeling a blush creep up on your face. "You think i'm beautiful, Carl?" You asked him shyly, afraid of sounding conceited or selfish. "Of course I do [Name]." He said.

He turned his head all the way in your direction, wanting a perfect view of you. He looked so handsome in this moment. His sheriffs hat was on top of his soft brown hair. His flannel was unbuttoned half way, his white t-shirt peeking through. The sleeves of the flannel were rolled up to his forearm. His hands were behind his back, slender and tall frame leaning against the wooden post of the watch tower. His face was illuminated by the soft glowing oil lamp that sat on the chair in front of you two. His diamond-like eye and ghostly pale skin looked so pretty in the mixture of the warm light of the lamp and the cold light of the moon. You felt your heart rate spike, your pupils dilated. He looked so kissable, all you wanted to do was grab him by the shoulders and kiss his lips til you were both breathless. Carl could say the same for you, as your (eye color) eyes and (skin color) skin looked gorgeous in the light of the lamp and moon. Your slightly tattered tank top hugged your curves and your low-waisted ripped black jeans did as well, exposing a small portion of your mid drift. Carl noticed your cheeks were rosy and your eyes were glossy. Your lips were slightly parted due to the impact of Carl calling you beautiful.

He fixed his posture, standing all the way up and walked towards you. It only took about 1 or 2 steps for him to be face to face with you. He tilted his head downwards, making eye contact. (eye color) eyes gazing into his, you felt the warm feelings 10x. He touched your (hair color) hair, twirling it in his fingers. His hands went from your hair to your cheek, cupping it. He stroked his thumb against your soft skin, feeling the heat. 'So much for dull skin and hair' Carl thought to himself, cursing those old hags for making his love feel bad. "Carl.." You finally spoke out, your voice nothing but a low whisper. From this angle, Carls face was no longer in view of the lamp. The only lighting you got was from the moon, directly shining down on you and him. You took each other's features in, not once breaking contact from eachother. Carl closed his eye, slowly began to lean in, and kissed you. His pink lips were soft, the feeling of the kiss was like satin bed sheets and velvety pillows. He put his other hand on your other cheek, guiding you to be impossibly closer to him. You felt fireworks go off in your brain and stomach. The moment you had waited so long for had finally happened. You deepened the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. You could feel Carls tongue slip inside of your mouth, the feeling so foreign and yet so good. You slowly broke away from the kiss face hotter than ever. You and Carl stood there, trying to process what had just happened. After a few 30 seconds, you both began laughing from the overwhelming feeling of happiness. For the rest of the night, you held each other, enjoying the silence.

"All I ever wanted

All I ever needed

Is here in my arms" - Enjoy the Silence, Depeche Mode

A/N: I have wanted to write for Carl for the longesttt time !! I hope u guys liked it pls request more stufffff ;3

[wedontdeservethestars]

Johnny x fem! Clown reader

This is such a cute prompt idea! I've been doodling clowns a lot lately in class so this is strangely relevant to my life rn lol.

Content: fem!reader, really just a lot of fluff!

“I was thinking,” Johnny began. 

“That’s never good.” 

A roll of the eyes, a nudge of your shoulder. “C’mon. This one’s good.”

“Fine. I guess I can humor you for once…”

Johnny stuck his tongue out at you. He swirled his drink in his glass–a White Russian. “The execs are thinking of a soft reboot for Ninja Mime. And, well, y’know…I know you’re not big on film work, but I was thinkin’a bringing up the idea of a team-up sorta thing. Like, you know: me as Ninja Mime, and you as your cute little self. We could call it…” He raised his hands for dramatic effect, as if imagining a title all up in lights. “Fool Fighters.”

“Like ‘Foo Fighters’?” you giggled. “That might have some copyright issues.”

“Nahhh, I could pull some strings,” he smirked. “Okay, okay, imagine: it’s been years since the defeat of Dr. Commedia. Things have been quiet for Ninja Mime. He’s been relaxing in his penthouse in Paris, drinking wine and eating bread and kissin’ babes and whatever. And then, one day, he gets a cry for help from another fellow clown cutie–that’s you–and he falls head-over-heels in love with her. Dr. Commedia’s son, Art, is taking up his work, and is determined to spread his anti-laughing gas prototype all over the city, turning each and every citizen into a boring zombie of frowns! The clown girl found all this out because she’s Art’s sister and Commedia’s second child, but she wants to spread joy and laughter, so she takes her insider knowledge to Ninja Mime! And then it’s a Romeo and Juliet kind of thing between them, she wants to kiss, he wants to punch, neither of them can be together, and then at the end after Art is defeated, they finally share a gorgeous kiss in front of a sunset. Or, like, and explosion. Maybe both!”

“Oh, wow.” For a moment, you didn’t know what to say. You were impressed with his depth of detail on the concept, but at the same time… “You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am.” Johnny smiled. “It’ll be badass! Plus, it could put you into the spotlight. Give your career a push into the mainstream.” 

“I guess so.” You nodded and smiled, but your eyes betrayed how conflicted you felt.

“You’d be getting calls left and right!” Johnny chuckled, until he realized that you seemed torn. His smile fell into tight lips. “But…you don’t want that…?”

You sighed and leaned back on the couch. Dating Johnny was wonderful, but it was also a little strange for you. It was like a looking glass into what another realm of entertainment life was like. Actors got so much recognition and stardom (mostly rightfully so!), and other performers like dancers and singers were typically hailed similarly. But, as a clown, you were different. You were a performer, yes, and and actor too, but it was character work. Very specific character work. Between shows and occasional circus acts and private events, you were more disconnected from your work life than, say, Johnny was, who would get recognized just walking outside to get the mail. Hardly anyone recognized your clown character, and even less than that were you recognized beyond someone realizing they’d seen you in a commercial once from a side-gig you’d done. 

You kind of liked it. Clowning wasn’t about fame for you. It was about audience reactions. It was meant to bring joy and laughter and humility and even sometimes sadness to humanity. Clowning was a mirror. It was about laughing at yourself, a strange funhouse reflection of day-to-day life, and you loved it. You loved seeing people smile at your antics and connecting with them through your persona. You didn’t need the fame as long as you had that.

And while Johnny’s idea sounded fun, that fame made you hesitate. You didn’t want to be recognized just from a Ninja Mime reboot. That felt too unreal to you. That wasn’t clowning. It was acting in clown makeup. It felt strangely sacrilege.

“I think…I’d feel better about it if it wasn’t her,” you said slowly, referring to your clown-self.

“Really?” Johnny seemed confused. “I mean…yeah. Yeah, we could make you a new character if you wanted.”

“Yes,” you nodded. Johnny was still looking at you strangely.

“You don’t have to be in it, if you don’t want. I just thought it’d be fun. I don’t know.” He gave a flippant wave of his hand. “It’s—y’know what, never mind. It’s kinda stupid.”

“Hey, c’mon.” You pulled his large hand into yours. “I didn’t say any of that.”

“It’s okay,” he said again. Clearly, it wasn’t, but he was trying to put up a front. “I’m not gonna make you be in a movie against your will. That’s, like, cruel and unusual punishment or whatever.”

“I do,” you assured him. “I would love nothing more. It’s just that clowning is…it’s far different from acting. Same ocean, different island. I don’t think I would translate well onto the big screen.”

“Right,” he nodded. “So—“

“So,” you interrupted gently, “we do what you said. Make me a new character. She can still be a clown. Just not my clown.”

“Okay…” Slowly, that creative spark was coming back into his eyes. “Maybe she can be good at ranged weapons? Since Ninja Mime is mostly killer with the melee stuff.”

“Yeah!” You grinned. “She can have, like, little bombs shaped like juggling balls.”

“Oh, yeah! And maybe, like, a little flower on her top that sprays acid!”

You giggled at the thought, nodding along. “Fun! I like it.”

“And I was thinking—for costumes—we could do a cool contrast thingy, since Ninja Mime is all black and white and red, maybe you could have a rainbow motif or something. Or—no—cotton candy colors! You look really good in pinks and blues.”

“Aw, thanks.” You kissed his cheek. “But I think you’d say that no matter what the design team comes up with.”

“What can I say? You’re a cutie when you’re all dolled up in those ruffles and makeup.” He pinched your nose playfully. “Oh, and that round little nose.”

You giggled and batted his hands away. “Y’know, you don’t look so bad as a mime yourself. Always thought it gave you a sophisticated touch.”

“Oh, well, if the Cagester’s anything, it’s sophisticated,” he beamed proudly, kicking his feet up on the ottoman in front of the couch. 

“Uh-huh.” You decided to let him have that one. “Sooo…when exactly is Fool Fighters going into development?”

“See? Told you the name would grow on you!”

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Quickly Thought about What If...? Season Two

For those who don’t know, I’m one of the few people who actually enjoyed What If…? Season One for what it was. Did it take advantage of telling interesting tales with the MCU, giving us intense glimpses of these universes that showed us what COULD HAVE been? Not all the time. Was it still good dumb fun? To me it was. And that’s pretty much what What If…?, as a concept, was, even in the comics. Yeah, you got interesting stuff like “What if Spider-Man never became a crime fighter?” or “What if Daredevil was raised by The Kingpin?” but it also had stuff like “What if the Original Marvel Bullpen Became the Fantastic Four?” or “What if Sargent Fury Fought World War Two in Outer Space?” The comics were less about high-concepts and more about writers doing whatever the hell they wanted with the Marvel Universe and being able to have fun with it because, well, none of it was canon. The same applied to the MCU’s What If…?, as it was a chance for the writers to do a murder mystery with the Avengers or make T’Challa fix the universe as Star-Lord. They can kill characters, make dumb(er) jokes, and play around with the heroes and villains in the MCU like they were action figures. And I’m into that. Don’t get me wrong, I would love more episodes like “What if…Doctor Strange lost his heart instead of his hands?” or “What if…Ultron won?” as they DO have a lot of great moments and show off what these characters are capable of than what the movies/shows proved. But at the same time, I didn’t mind watching the big buff lady that is Captain Carter kill Nazis or watch Spider-Man and a band of heroes try to survive a zombie apocalypse. It’s a show where everyone is meant to just sit back, turn their brain off, and have some fun while occasionally getting something interesting. Again, just like the comics.

So when Season Two got announced, I was genuinely excited. I like Season One and I wanted more of it. Then when the trailer came out with an episode list, I thought, “Okay, this could be the show embracing comic book wackiness.” Now, not a lot of people were into that…In fact, the majority said that a lot of these concepts weren’t even interesting and were, instead, kind of lame. I don’t get it, maybe because I’m in the exact mindset the MCU wants me to have with this series, but I was still looking forward to Season Two. The question is, was it worth it? Well, let’s quickly go over each episode to find out.

Spoilers Ahead

What If…Nebula Joined the Nova Corps?: Ooooooooh, what a great start. Watching Nebula act as a cop/detective, but with her cold, deadpan badassery still intact was a ton of fun in this dark, gritty setting made for this new version of her. I loved watching this new version of Nebula make her way through a darkened Xandar, with her never straying from this oath and acting as it should be intended, all while teaming up with Howard the Duck of all characters. Like, I kind of enjoy seeing Howard turn out to be this sleazy casino owner who treats Nebula as a true friend despite them working on opposite ends of the law. The concept itself is funny and execution is endearing with Seth Green giving much needed charm to the character. It’s part of the fun of What If…?: Showing characters who couldn’t interact in the movies or didn’t have much screen time and allowing them another chance to shine…Unfortunately, that’s not always a good thing. Because while I love seeing a character like Howard make a surprisingly good comeback, watching Yon-Rog, one of the more boring MCU villains, show up and lack any intrigue or fun is just…no. And then there’s Nova Prime who decided to betray the entire Corp by taking down the force field…Something that was HER idea to do and, given the pull she had, could have done at any point. Why string Nebula along when Nova Prime could have just made the ruling herself that the force field needed to be taken down? A friend of mine tried explaining how it could make sense, but I don’t know. It doesn’t change this weird got while watching. But while flawed, it was pretty cool to see this new setting in the MCU, carried by Nebula as the Super Nova (Love that name, by the way. It’s perfect). The plot has a big ol’ hole, not every character return works, but it gave me a half-hour of fun so I’m not complaining (Get used to that thought process, by the way).

What If…Peter Quill Attacked Earth’s Mightiest Heroes?: And this one’s a little rough around the edges. It’s fun to see this alternate version of the Avengers form to fight a Peter Quill who has Ego’s powers, but it feels like the entire episode is on fast-forward, almost like this is what would happen if the first Avengers movie needed to be made thirty-minutes long. It’s sort of the downside of What If having a half-hour runtime, where it has to both tell a story and introduce us to this new universe in under thirty minutes. It’s the same with the comics that had less than thirty pages to do the exact same thing, only to feel longer because comic writers in the seventies and eighties don’t know how to shut the hell up. The end result is a story that’s fine ENOUGH, but it would have benefited with more time to slow down and let us appreciate this new team of old heroes. I mean, we have the original Captain Mar-Vel, T’Challa’s father, and even Goliath, which would have been AWESOME to see them play a big role. But instead, the episode focuses on Hank Pym, Bucky, and THOR, somehow, making these other heroes valued members but also a bit of an afterthought. Also, despite this being a different version of the Avengers, they somehow make MORE quips than the original team, with few of it feeling like it’s in character. It has the same problem as Age of Ultron where everyone is cracking jokes at every second as much as they can, and it HIGHLY depends on your willingness to stomach that kind of  thing if you’re willing to watch this episode. That and if you’re willing to forgive a character doing this STUPID AND RISKY thing that worked out for the better but doesn’t change how stupid and risky it is. Overall, this whole episode is a very interesting idea mixed with some very FLAWED execution that spoils the fun to be had.

What If…Happy Hogan Saved Christmas?: Now this? All kinds of fun to be had with this one. The return of Justin Hammer of all villains isn’t something I thought I needed, but I heavily enjoyed watching what’s basically the anti-Tony Stark show up and be his most despicably charming self. It was a blast to watch this scrawny little twink TRY and act intimidating as he dances all over the place. It makes him feel more and more like a cartoon villain, which is appropriate for yuletide fun. You don’t NEED a menacing presence for Christmas, you need a GOOF. And Hammer’s the goofiest with his lame catchphrases and very STUPID dancing, I couldn’t get enough of it. But the real star is Happy, who gets juiced up for an adaptation I NEVER would have expected from the MCU. The Freak is one of the sides to Happy that not many fans would know about unless they’ve immersed themselves with Iron Man lore (Or read a shit load of comics for the past two years like me), but it really is cool to see that side of him brought to life. The way Happy looks and moves like more of a manic Hulk on crack does great at setting him apart from the Jolly Green Monster we know and love, but also makes The Freak feel more unique from how he was in the comics. It was a blast of a holiday special with the only downside is that Darcy’s OCCASIONALLY annoying. Not much other than that, though, as this is the best Christmas present I could ask from Marvel.

What If…Iron Man Crashed Into the Grandmaster?: Fun fact, this was originally meant to be in Season One but was cut due to time constraints. Yeah, remember how weird it was that the Watcher plucked a version of Gamora we didn’t know? Well, now we finally know…through a story that’s primarily about Tony Stark that makes me wonder why the hell The Watcher didn’t take him.

But facts and jokes aside, I loved the shit out of this episode. There are probably going to be some cynics out there saying that the cars and the race is an excuse to sell toys or LEGO sets or some shit, but I don’t care because everything about it was AWESOME!. Not to mention that it lit up a special place in my heart and brain to watch Tony Stark be a hero again, not hesitating to save lives, putting everything on the line, and helping bring Gamora into the light, all while still being his snarky, Starky self. And huge props to Mick Wingert voicing him, who doesn’t sound like Robert Downy Jr at ALL, but still nails the energy and mannerisms. I can picture RDJ saying all of these lines and it helps make this feel like one last Iron Man story for the fans. Seeing the Grandmaster again was ALSO a plus, as he was his same goofy-self. As for the real hook of this episode, Gamora, she’s…fine. I don’t love that it’s Tony that helped her redemption arc since I always preferred how turning against Thanos was something Gamora decided for herself instead of this thing that someone brought out. It’s not a BAD idea, but it’s something that might have worked better with NEBULA, a character that could actually USE convincing, instead of Gamora, a character who would likely go to Stark to help kill Thanos. Still, I don’t HATE it, nor do I hate the episode. It was an adrenaline thrill-ride that gave us a return of Tony where he DOESN’T die in the end. I couldn’t have asked for more if I heard this episode’s title, and I’m glad it’s what we’ve got.

What If…Captain Carter Fought the Hydra Stomper?: I…KIND OF understand the reception towards Captain Carter. I don’t get why Marvel keeps pushing her more than their actual Captain America replacement, Sam Wilson. I mean, Captain Carter showed up in three projects (two seasons of television and a movie), where Sam made his official appearance as Captain America once…and hasn’t even cameoed in any other movie or show. Now, don’t get me wrong, I like the big buff lady and it’s awesome seeing her fight the giant robot. It’s cool, I love it. I also heavily enjoyed this episode, getting into the drama, action, and seeing Peggy make a surprisingly believable friendship with Black Widow. Heck, I’d go so far as to say that this is a better Black Widow story than her actual movie gave us. So I like it, I like seeing Captain Carter and some of her adventures. I especially like that this story isn’t a direct rehash of Winter Soldier like how the first episode is a rehash of First Avenger. The writers actually set out to make something more unique and it makes me like Captain Carter a little more. I just wish we could get that same love and appreciation towards Sam Wilson, whose movie got pushed back to 2025 and will count as the only time this character has been relevant since his mini-series. If this is our new leader of the Avengers and the man who will fight to save the multiverse, we’re probably going to need more than one appearance from the guy. I don’t think people would complain about more Captain Carter if Sam Wilson’s Captain America wasn’t so blatantly shoved too far to the side.

What If…Kahhori Reshaped the World?: One of the few rare times the MCU made an ORIGINAL superhero. There is no previous comic, movie, or show that Kahhori is based on. She’s a completely original character made up for this franchise, much like Miles Morales in the Ultimate universe or X-23 in X-Men Evolution (Check that show out, by the way. It’s pretty damn good). And just like those two, I REALLY hope Kahhori manages to become such a hit with audiences that she spawns more content, because Kahhori and her world is something I would love to revisit. Her personality is fun, her motivation is inspiring, and her powers are unique enough to make her stand out more to the other heroes in the MCU. As for her story, it’s your bare-bones origin story. The whole episode is about explaining her powers, the world she lives in, and the people she loves and fights for. It does all this while proving her heroics through fighting a supervillain set out to do some damage. Only, instead of some generic supervillain that matches her powers it’s this Spanish Conquistador who…honestly still looks like a supervillain, which is kind of funny. And it works for Kahhori, proving that while she’s currently the most powerful person in the world, she’s willing to fight against oppression and the monarchy, advocating for peace instead of a continuous war for who gains the most control. Like I said, that’s inspiring and it’s why I want to see more of this character and how far she can go when fighting bigger, more evil threats than the Queen of Spain. Whether it’s a spin-off TV show/movie, a comic mini-series, or even introducing Kahhori into the 616 comics (somehow), I wouldn’t mind seeing this new, wonderful hero more in the future.

What If…Hela Found the Ten Rings?: I…did not expect to like this one as much as I did. I wasn’t the BIGGEST fan of Hela, because aside from seeing her actress having a blast to go full ham, there wasn’t much to her. Yeah, she was this conqueror alongside Odin, which is an interesting backstory for HIM, but for Hela, it’s not enough. Instead of telling me WHO she is, Thor: Ragnarok kept telling me WHAT she was. Then here comes an episode of What If…? that not only gives me that answer, but a lot more. Sure, the first half is a bit wonky, but when we get to the second, we finally get an idea of who Hela is. Simply put, Hela doesn’t know who she is beyond a conqueror, and that’s because Odin never trained nor raised her to be anything more. This episode forces Hela to face that and discover answers she never knew she was seeking, having a surprisingly decent redemption, becoming a goddess of life instead of death. I…love that. I love that WAY MORE than I could have expected to love it. It makes me appreciate Hela a lot more and maybe see that there’s a tragedy to her in Thor: Ragnarok. Hela could have changed for the better if she met someone that could bring her good side out, but because she was banished into isolation by Odin, it caused Hela to be both spiteful and vengeful, making her refuse any alternative beyond being a conqueror or a goddess of death, with her final acts of life being someone who destroyed her home because destruction was all she knew. This episode has a better, more unique story to tell than Hela and Wenwu fighting over the Ten Rings to see who can cause more destruction. Speaking of, if there’s one thing to complain about the episode, it’s how underutilized Wenwu is to the story. He’s actually one of MY favorite MCU villains and it feels weird that he’s just…kind of there? Most of the meat to the story goes to Hela, and I do appreciate it, but Wenwu could have done more than wanting to bone Hela or assisting her in fighting Odin. But aside from that, I’d still say that this is a fantastic episode that surpassed my expectations.

What If…The Avengers Assembled in 1602?: Of all the episodes, this is the one I was looking forward to the most. I’m a sucker for seeing characters in a different setting. They’re very much the same in terms of personality but their differences vary from positions in life or the skills they’re capable of. It’s no different here, as so much of this feels like a period piece fanfic where the writers seemed to have so much fun making the Avengers be in 1602. And I don’t give a shit if people hate her, I LOVE that Captain Carter refuses to leave this world until she saves it from complete collapse. It would have been the same if it was Steve Rogers, I get that, but how do you expect me to hate a hero who’s willing to fight with her last breath to save the world? Those are my favorite kind of superheroes! You want me to give up what I love most about superheroes just because you don’t like that the big buff lady fights King Thor and his vibranium thunder sword? F**k you.

Also, this comes with the added benefit of watching big buff Steve and big buff Peggy constantly being on the VERGE of wanting to rip their clothes off and f**k each other whenever they’re on screen together. And, honestly, I can't blame them. They’re both gorgeous. LET THEM F**K!

Overall, I had fun, even if there are problems. Sure, the reveal that Steve is indirectly the cause of this universe’s collapse is way too predictable, no thanks in large part to the trailers SPOILING IT! And it’s pretty weird that Scott can still shrink and grow. Like…How can he do that in this setting? Also, this universe has a merry band of misfits that’s similar to Robin Hood, and there’s not even a SINGLE Hawkeye in it? Not even Kate Bishop? COME ON NOW! Come on now…

But, yeah, this episode is the perfect epitome of what makes What If…? enjoyable to me. It can offer you a fun concept of having the Avengers be in 1602 and just ask you to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. Not everyone’s going to be into that, but I am and I could take ten more seasons of this if I could.

What If…Strange Supreme Intervened?: You want me to hate the big buff lady and new MCU character Kahhori fighting Strange Supreme and a whole gaggle of universe killers just because *checks notes* Captain Carter is a Mary Sue? F**k you. I don’t care if you feel like Captain Carter is forced upon you, she punched a demonic Doctor Strange in the face with the power of INFINITY. That is awesome no matter WHO the character is and if you can’t appreciate it, then I guess this show really isn’t for you. As for the finale, the whole thing is awesome as this big fireworks show to close out the season, added with Strange Supreme going back to the dark side for the sake of reviving his universe. I’ll admit that Strange Supreme had a bit of a forced redemption last season, so it is great for this finale to prove that he is, in fact, still twisted inside while allowing him to earn a more true redemption in making up for his actions. It makes his tragedy STILL feel like a tragedy, giving everyone but him a happy ending. And, again, he got punched in the face with the power of infinity. F**k all you haters, this show’s great.

Season Two is a definite improvement to Season One. Sure, the pacing is wonky, the jokes are trying too hard, and animation can look gorgeous at times but ugly at others. But the writing’s stronger, the concepts are bigger, the fun’s funner, and I got to see a woman punch a demon in the face with the power of infinity–I keep bringing that up because it is so damn awesome. And it’s the same with this show! It just fuels that part of my brain that wants to see cool, comic book shit happening. It’s not for everyone, I know that. It’s neither good nor bad, it’s just…subjectively fun. It’ll either light up your world or leave you wanting more substance than dumb fun. I enjoyed the hell out of this season, but others won’t for their own reasons (some of them being that they just hate Captain Carter). They can feel that way all they want. Still won’t change how I enjoyed the hell out of this season and look forward to more.

[strawbs-screaming]

★ the boxers playing minecraft ★

me when i mine the craft or something

★ glass joe ★

lost, doesn't know anything and is struggling

got killed by bees 10 minutes into the game because he accidentally whacked a bee

collecting flowers and just giving them to everyone when hes bored

horrible at combat, would die even if you gave him literally everything

just kinda robs villagers for fun

keeps getting killed by aran to the point where its not funny anymore

★ von kaiser ★

was doing great until it became night, was running like his life depended on it

somehow got to the nether early, broke his portal and got stuck until he threw himself into lava

keeps forgetting to sleep and is constantly being chased by phantoms

has 50 stacks of bread somehow, willing to share

screamed when he first found a squid while swimming, thought it was aggresive

keeps wandering into places he knows damn well he'll get wrecked at

★ disco kid ★

doing very well, just forgot his base's door open once and had the worst experience of his life but everything else is fine

had to carry joe & kaiser through the game but gave up when Kaiser got sent to the nether somehow

likes doing water bucket trips, convinced joe he could do it with a milk bucket and laughed at him for a while

keeps throwing hands with don for no reason

became a beast once he found note blocks and discs

★ king hippo ★

absolute menace, likes building traps around his base to keep others out, got a business building traps for others in exchange for resources

just got lots of resources, built a cute house, got a dog and just farmed for fun, sometimes has other boxers come into his nice little house

stealing joe's flowers for his aesthetic house

chased bear hugger across the map for fun

★ piston hondo ★

actually finishing the game, practically speedrunning it

was the first one to get a full set of diamond, really happy about it

stealing everything from the villagers, down to the houses and everything

struggling with redstone

tried to build a exp farm but accidentally crashed his computer

Has a army of bees he uses terrorize everyone

★ bear hugger ★

goofing around and just chatting with everyone for funsies

got killed by a pufferfish while trying to kill it

secretly adds onto Disco's stone pile by adding 1 (one) stone every time he adds another one

has 30 crafting tables and is hayr hiding them in everyone elses bases

throws eggs at Hippo everytime he tries to chase him again

fistfighting fish in the sea like they killed his family or something

★ great tiger ★

just breaks into everyone elses bases sometimes to say hello or show them some stuff he got

somehow surviving without a base

had his diamonds stolen by hondo for speedrunning purposes

got a cat and takes care of it like its his child, anyone who attempts to hurt it gets griefed to death

scared of the sounds coming from the mines

tried to sleep in the nether, 10 dead 20 injured

extremely invested in the "bear hugger fighting fish" saga

★ don flamenco ★

trying to build the cutest house ever, keeps getting it griefed by Hippo, there can only be one pretty house in this server

went to the end early somehow and got his ass kicked by the dragon

tried to eat rotten flesh and died. twice

tried to join Tiger in the mines but he kept screaming from the sounds so Tiger chased him away

set Hippos house on fire at one point

★ aran ryan ★

absolutely devious, keeps setting everyone on fire, trapped Kaiser in the nether

demolished Disco kids base, by demolished i mean took EVERYTHING down, including the walls and everything and only left his bed there

keeps hiding spider spawners under dons house for fun

Hondo and Hippo teamed up to kill him but failed thanks to the questionable amount of tnt he has

may or may not have creative mod on

★ soda popinski ★

doing his best but keeps getting unlucky, every zombie targets him, hondo keeps taking his food and has the worst rng ever

keeps fighting macho, has a very bad arena like area near his base where just fights people inside it,bare hands only

had a pet fox that jumped DIRECTLY into lava the second he got it, had a funeral for it & everything

Got struck by lightning 2 times in a row somehow

★ bald bull ★

Just attacking everyone & everything with everything hes got

likes robbing aran specifically for his stash of weapons & tnt

got trapped by aran in bedrock jail when he went afk, aran was generous enough to give him some food & a bed, got his jail titled "bald dude enclosure"

got chased by dogs after he hit one accidentally

fighting soda & macho for fun

★ super macho man ★

hanging out with soda and bugging him

laughed at a house he built for 10 minutes because it looked ugly, its a landmark for everyone now along with "bald dude enclosure"

tried to kill a iron golem after he found it coming for him while he tried to kill a villager

turned on creative mode and just built himself the iconic diamond house and just toured the place

★ mr sandman ★

actually beat the ender dragon & focused on the game but that didnt stop him from robbing others occassionally for fun

keeps having sand blocks given to him with the message "This you?"

audibly screamed "NOOO" When he saw bear hugger lose the fight against the pufferfish

Has a underground base that Tiger somehow found instantly

thinks the enchanting table looks pretty

kept throwing stuff at bull while he was in bald dude enclosure

[fake-married-my-dead-fiance]

My favourite Kdramas (so far)

Currently watching: Haechi, Lovely Runner (again), and Dreaming of a Freaking Fairytale (I tag for spoilers of current shows) and my first Cdrama, The Double

My to watch list, Venn Diagram of my favourite kdrama things, favourite male and female actors, my parent trauma tracking

My Main is about Jane Austen

For tracking purposes. But feel free to suggest me new Kdramas

Alchemy of Souls: Visually beautiful, wonderful soundtrack, casting is amazing, story is very well thought-out, world-building is on point, loved all of it.

Trope subversions, Love Maps, Plot driven by fear

Moon in the Day: The most angsty enemies to lovers you will ever find in your life. It's completely enthralling. The past scenes with Do-ha are amazing. There are some plot holes and the secondary characters aren't very well developed, but I don't care. It was so good!

Text Posts, On the ending, the emotional journey, Webtoon vs. Drama

Doom at Your Service: The world-building is really well done, as is the symbolism. Doom is so weirdly lovable. Also has a great soundtrack.

Extraordinary You: the story gets a little drawn out in the middle episodes, but the concept is so gripping that I forgive it. The main character is really spunky and fun and the villain is probably the most interesting character in the show.

Lovely Runner: This is one of the cutest dramas I've seen in a while. Top tier cuteness. The story was really fun and I laughed a lot.

Text post, Another, Google Searches

W: Two Worlds: So good! So unpredictable! So Male Lead who was smart and actually acted smart! This is the dark companion of Extraordinary You and I loved every minute.

Happiness: the whole point of zombie horror is that the humans are the real monsters and Happiness delivered on that 100000%. Turns out Park Hyung-sik can also be serious and very good at punching people! Han Hyo-joo was also amazing. The slow burn romance was so cute. Loved it so much. Also, more of a murder mystery than a zombie show.

Zombieland Rules

Sh**ting Stars: the voluntarism in an unnamed African country wasn't great, but the rest of the show was so heartwarming and cute! There were lots of lovable characters, mature relationships, very cute friendships, and hilarious antics.

The Forbidden Marriage: The plot had lots of fun twists and the resolution was satisfying. I wish we got more So Rang hijinks in the later episodes, the hunting episode was my favourite with her running around everywhere like a maniac.

The Atypical Family: A very interesting superhero/time travel story with a fun ensemble cast. I didn't love any particular character (except I-Na), but the story was really fascinating and I was never bored.

It's Okay to Not be Okay: My only critique is I wish they did more of the animations for fairy tales, but it's so good. The female lead had the most amazing outfits. The story is so good and the way they portrayed the brother's autism.

Hospital Playlist: The epitome of slice of life. I enjoyed all the characters, especially Lee Ik-jun, The Ghost, and Long Winter (Jang Gyeo-ul) and the cute kid! I love the mom and the hospital director hanging out together. The band! I cannot stop listening to their songs!

Kdramas I have liked:

Because This is My First Life: I didn't love the ending, but the female characters were so well written and fleshed out that I can almost forgive it. I related so much to all of them. Also, the best explanation ever for why a woman would choose a marriage without love.

Queen of Tears: I loved the set-up but for me it lost it's way at the end. Too many dramatic moments and the Magic Cancer surgery and Magic Amnesia Month were just too much of a strain on my ability to suspend my disbelief. But the performances were very good, from the leads and the secondary characters, and the premise was good. I enjoyed like 80% of the show.

Text posts

Doctor Slump: Very cute and relaxing watch. The FL's family was really cute, especially her mom! The focus on mental health was nice, though there was a bit too much of an idea that a relationship can fix your depression/PTSD. But still good!

Kingdom: Loved it! But I refuse to put it in my top kdramas since S2 ends on a huge cliff hanger and apparently they aren't making any more. Boo to Netflix. This was more gory than Happiness, but I loved having zombies in a historical setting.

Daily Dose of Sunshine: this made me cry multiple times. It is very good. The visuals for how different disorders feel was fascinating. Good resolutions for the characters. I loved it all except the unrealistic endings.

Extraordinary Attorney Woo: I'm blown away by their portrayal of autism. They don't shy away from making her ticks and mannerisms off-putting, awkward, and even somewhat annoying, but Young-woo has joy, she has imagination, she loves life. It's so much better than anything with an autistic character that I've seen in Western media. Not 10/10 because I did get a bit uninterested in the later cases when I wanted to know where the love story was going.

Choi Su-yeon

Oh My Ghost: I loved this one! Park Bo-young did an amazing job playing an oppressed shaman and possessed-by-a-ghost. It was very well written: there weren't any ridiculous sideplots and I was never bored. I did think the ending dragged a little bit, but overall I loved it.

The King's Affection: I loved it. I think it probably could have been cut down to 16 episodes instead of 20, but very good. The female crown price is so scared all the time and I want to hug her, but also badass! It's a very hard line to walk but they do it well. Also, the bodyguard who is also an assassin is so hot and the costumes are great.

My Lovely Liar: I really loved this show, it was very cute and occasionally very scary. The murder mystery was well done, though I'm not sure how I feel about the final reveal.

What's Wrong with Secretary Kim: I liked that for once the big trauma didn't come from the parents, what a twist! I actually loved how ridiculously narcissistic the ML was and I loved the competent and mature FL. They didn't have any ridiculous misunderstandings and they never broke up. And the ML's friend was very funny.

King the Land: The show got better as it went on. The female lead was so competent and sure of herself. The parts about the friends' struggles was heartbreaking a lot of the time. I also loved how positive the female relationships were.

Captivating the King: I'm struggling to rate this one. The ML was amazing, but the FL seemed to just always be wide-eyed scared/worried. The writing was great for the first half, but the ending was ambiguous in a way I didn't enjoy. The intimate scene in Ep 8/9 was awesome, but then we didn't really get more. I wish they had stuck the landing.

Other Kdramas I've watched:

The Red Sleeve: full review here and also here, but basically, I loved the Crown Prince's story, but the female lead fell flat. They never sufficiently explained the FL's emotional journey and they also kept ruining female characters. Justice for the Queen Dowager!

Hwarang: really great acting despite a mediocre script, but man so many plot holes and unresolved plots. I never totally decided if the Queen Dowager was actually trying to help her son or just holding on to power and I feel like they should have made that clearer. Also, what was that love triangle??? But I did enjoy myself the whole time.

Soundtrack #1: I hate endless, hopeless pining and that's all this was. It had it's cute moments, but I always felt like the male lead was in pain and I didn't enjoy that.

Hospital Playlist 2: Somehow it wasn't as good as the first season, I found myself actually getting bored. But it was nice to see all the couples get together.

Goblin/Guardian the Great and Lonely God: The roommate stuff is hilarious! It did move slowly at times, I wanted the Grim Reaper/Sunny stuff to move faster. I got really annoyed at Kim Shin for not being honest with Eun-tak. Sometimes the product placement annoyed me. But it's very beautiful and I was very invested in everyone. Problem is, I don't think I ever want to watch it again.

Marry My Husband: very fun drama, I especially enjoyed Su-min and Min-hwan, who were some of the most deep villains I've seen portrayed. However, I hated the Yu-ra storyline and I felt like the ML kept the secret of his death for way too long. Also, no happy ending for the secondary couples! I wanted more screen time with them.

Webtoon vs. Drama, Text Posts

Tale of the Nine Tailed + 1938 - It's fun, but the lore/world-building don't make a whole lot of sense. The Serpent is pretty over powered in S1 and really ought to have won. 1938 was better but the female mountain goddess made zero sense as a character. Lee Rang is probably the best part of the whole series, and his little murder fox girl in S1 or mermaid girl in S2.

Castaway Diva: I love the songs and the found family parts, but the story was lacking. Especially the older singer's story made very little sense and didn't come to a satisfying conclusion. And why not show us a little of the main couple being together?

Hotel del Luna - I enjoyed the ghost parts but the dynamic between the main couple was a mess. He is so unconditionally nice and she is such a jerk to him!

Strong Girl Bong-Soon - I loved all the parts with Bong-Soon and Min-hyuk, like he was the cutest, sweetest boy ever, but everything else was kind of annoying. And the kidnapper parts were really creepy! I just wanted Bong-Soon to smash more things. I also hated Guk-doo and I wanted all the women to dump his ass.

Business Proposal - It was cute, but it bothered me that Ha-ri wouldn't just talk to Tae-moo about her concerns about dating him. Ha-ri may be the only female lead ever with a healthy family dynamic, yay for her! The secondary couple was fun.

Death's Game - I enjoyed the genre and actor switches at first, but then it seemed to veer into being about the serial killer CEO and then back to being about suicide and the resolution left me unsatisfied.

Webtoon vs. Drama

My Demon - It was fun, but the world-building wasn't great and the ending was fine. I felt like it tried to be Doom at Your Service but failed (there were many, many references/thefts).

Destined with You - I really liked some parts of it, especially the leads and I actually liked the office romance with Hong-jo's boss (until the last episode), but they left so many things unanswered that I wish were revealed! It's like the writers forgot it was a fantasy drama halfway through and just went in a totally different direction. It makes me angry.

The Uncanny Counter - The concept was good, the actors were good, the chemistry between the actors was amazing, but the story went way off the rails. So Mun just became way too over-powered and the plot needed more balance. I wanted more demon catching and less mayor stuff. I did like the bully being saved and reformed.

Perfect Marriage Revenge - This show did exactly what it set out to do, be completely over-the-top dramatic. I really enjoyed watching it, it was a romp, but I doubt I'll ever watch it again. The evil stepmother and sister were great.

The Story of Park's Marriage Contract: It was fluffy and fun, I loved Sa-wol the maid, we should have had more of her! I hated the ending though, so much. Just so bad.

100 Days My Prince - I hated the main couple, he was just too distant and she should have figured out who he was like 10 minutes in. It felt like they only got together because he was obsessed with her, I would have preferred the nice face-blind guy. I ended up liking the peasant friend couple and the murderous princess and her assassin boyfriend better.

Started but not finished:

Moving - I started it, it seems really slow. I think I'm four or five episodes in. The Crowned Clown - First episode was way too dark! Live Up To Your Name - Acupuncture is magic? Moonlight Drawn by Clouds - the first episode seemed bonkers Strong Girl Nam-Soon - could not even force myself to watch it. Total mess The Impossible Heir - Even Lee Jae-wook couldn't save this messy plot.

[nemmet]

What are some of your favorite Fred and Daphne moments? Romantic or platonic

AAAH thank you for giving me the opportunity to ramble about them!! always so so appreciated. and for specifying romantic or platonic too!! while a lot of their significant moments together from the 90s onwards have been somewhat romantically charged, i love them even when they're just a goofy pair of friends with no immediate romantic implications.

because (mini fraphne history side tangent), they weren't always intended as love interests! the "fred chooses to search for clues with daphne because he fancies her" reading of the original show technically isn't true — they were just paired off because the writers found them boring and wanted an excuse to get them out of the picture for a few scenes. which makes the fact that they've since grown to become an iconic duo in their own right all the more inspiring!

so without further ado, here are some of my favourite moments of theirs!! 💙💜

(begins under the cut!)

the best birthday present ever — zombie island

if i could count their general existence in this movie as a single moment i would. i am so weak to the fact that even after the gang splits ways, fred and daphne stick together, and fred plays such a crucial supporting role in daphne's dreams/career/life. and their relationship hasn't descended into being just boring coworkers — daphne has been so busy with work that she forgot her own birthday, but fred is sure to make it special by doing no less than getting the whole gang back together. the way he teases her before revealing them, too!!! and the hug she gives him when he explains. i get such cosy, "known each other since forever" vibes from them in this movie, like they're just so comfortable and silly with each other and (sobs into my hands)

my hero — scooby doo and krypto too

the way this movie has already given us so many fraphne moments for the books. the Literal Kiss aside, this scene just made me smile from ear to ear. i'm not always so hot on the jealousy subplots these two often get, but i appreciated how this film had a more light-hearted take on it, and how fred was simply confused rather than upset. additionally, his attempts to impress daph are just so funny and sweet, you get the sense that he's just hamming it up to make her laugh and doesn't care if that's all he ends up doing. of course then he gets so into it that he doesn't register the monster right behind him, and jumps into daphne's arms just like the rest of the gang always do with him. the way he clings to her!! and how she says "oh come on". they are disasters and they need each other in this essay i will.

you're never going to lose me, fred — mystery incorporated

following their relationship in this show sure is a journey... and not always the best one. while i understand that they're teenagers going through a lot, it's sad to so often see their inherent chemistry as a duo lost in miscommunication and arguments. which makes the moments where they connect and come out stronger as a couple all the more rewarding!! this is hands down my favourite scene of theirs — while the conflict that leads up to it is uncomfortable (fred tightly scheduling their activities together), i like how daphne addresses it quickly rather than keeping her feelings hidden and simply expecting fred to pick up on them. by now she understands that fred needs direct communication (autism!!!), and that's ok!! meanwhile, fred has grown too; he actively opens up to daphne about his fears of losing his loved ones, something i don't think he could or would have done at the start of the show. he's come to understand his own emotions and the importance of expressing them. both of them learn from each other, and are able to move forward because of that. it's a wonderful little moment that really showcases the best of them!!

i love you — stage fright

THE fraphne scene. god. where do i begin. the fact that daphne wrote lyrics about her feelings for fred to the music he composed, and was terrified of ever showing them to him. but then she decides to break the condition she established to velma (only confessing to him after the contest), throws caution to the wind, and just,,,,, confesses her love to him live on stage in front of thousands of people!!!! and how fred looks so happy and content playing along to these lyrics that i'm sure he knows are about him, and when it comes to daphne singing "i love you", he says i love you back with ZERO HESITATION!!! like he was waiting to say it too!! because they're mutually pining dumbasses who will cry if they make eye contact in a remotely romantic context!!! god!!!!!!! also the nose boop before daph goes in for the kiss. adorable.

the engine / the driver — curse of the 13th ghost

this scene is another that has a lot to say about their relationship in a general sense, and it's so special to me!! i'm not crazy about this movie as a whole, but i love the running theme of fred and daphne's differing leadership qualities, and how they balance each other out. fred just wants to keep things the same as they've always been (autism!!!), but that often leads him to coming off as controlling or dismissive when he's in Planning Mode. he doesn't mean it, because he genuinely believes the best in the gang and their individual skills, so it's no wonder that he grows insecure when his place is questioned. but by the end of the film he accepts that daphne is the engine, the glue that fundamentally holds the gang together and keeps them running as a unit — they would be nowhere without her constant energy and willingness to take action. however, daphne reassures him that he'll always have his place as the driver, the man with the plan, the one to put things in motion and support everyone with all his heart along the way. and the tender way they look at each other to cap it all off!!!!!!!

knight in shining armour — sword and the scoob

i saved the (probably) best for last. less serious analysis here and more just me gushing because i spin this moment around my microwave brain on a daily basis. continuing the theme of "fred embraces his role as team cheerleader", he's not even upset when daphne has to fight in his place — he planned this and is wholeheartedly supporting her, to the point where it makes her flustered (she’s HIS knight in shining armour)!! and him giving her his ascot as a good luck charm!!!! nem found dead on the floor. not to mention "sir daphne/sir fred" and how they continue to call each other that. i swoon every time. they are so romantic in their own very silly and very teenager-y way and i love moments where they're just so unapologetic about that!!

i really hope you enjoyed and that this was what you were looking for!! fellow fred & daph fans, please feel free to comment and/or reblog with some of your own favourite moments!! i always love to see them. :D

[just-prime]

8 : Oh so boring

The horrifying MCU-ification of the Star Wars universe is in horrific display as 8 episodes lead nowhere but setup.

Before I get to everything else, I do want to say, Ray Stevenson's passing is a true tragedy, and I appreciate the love and care he clearly put into his character. He was the only compelling one, and I shudder to think of how Disney will probably heartlessly recast.

Now, on to the episode

Well, all the leaks that said it was zombies were right, to the surprise of no one. This is the MCU now, we need something more than just a fuck ton of stormtroopers to blow through, we need an undead CGI army.

First off : The Jedi, The Witch, and The Warlord...FUCK OFF FILONI. YOU ARE NOT CUTE.

The show opens with the attempt to lull Legends fans back into a Sion reference for no reason. Also, Thrawn's super baggy pants seem unnecessary, especially since the design in Rebels always has him in perfectly tailored clothes. Nothing during his decade abroad that would have cause the pants to change that drastically, so it just feels like an unnecessary change that is not an attractive look :(

Morgan's power ups make no sense, and as soon as she got them she was going to die. Her eyes had me making a half dozen Supernatural jokes for obvious reasons. The whole "Blade of Talzin" thing is also very dumb given the fact that I assume Mother Talzin would have used every weapon in her arsenal to stop Grievous, and I would think a lightsaber proof sword is on that list.

The entire "Ezra makes himself a new lightsaber" scene filled me rage for a few reasons.

A) Ezra literally just turned down Sabine's offer of the lightsaber for the martial arts force powers which we never see him use again.

B) Huyang knowing about Caleb and Kanan being the same person feels kinda weird to me to be perfectly honest.

C) Ezra's new lightsaber is boring. Full stop. This is the kid who built a gun into his first one, it makes no sense that he'd make one that looks this mediocre.

D) All of Sabine's family dying horrible deaths on Mandalore has always struck me as a cop out. It's just lazy writing to isolate Sabine.

The Stakes

Spoiler alert : THERE ARE NONE

We knew this was going to end in a cliffhanger for a while now, which means none of the main cast was going to die. Morgan has always been a means to an end for Thrawn, not that her loyalty was ever explain...But none of our heroes were gonna bite it (regardless of how I hoped for Huyang to explode) so there were no stakes. Thrawn had to escape, despite the fact that he is weirdly shaken, so he does. Ezra had to get home, so he does. Sabine and Ahsoka are now trapped on some stupid Mortis world??? Okay, pause, I'm getting ahead of myself here...because before that...

Sabine has the Force now

My deepest condolences to anyone who is finding this out from me, but Sabine is offically confirmed and shown to be Force sensitive. Yes it is dumb. Yes it makes no sense. Yes this is something we all saw being foreshadowed from day one, unfortunately. Especially with the playing down of her Mandalorian-ness (she's constantly losing her helmet, her gun accuracy has utterly gone, she barely uses her gauntlets, etc etc) it was obvious that Filoni wanted to do with her, what he was too cowardly to do with Grogu.

Other miscellaneous shit

It turns out that Ahsoka's shuttle is Jedi era...which makes no fucking sense.

The nightsisters being totally on board with the Empire feels like their ability to tell what's going on in the main universe might be a bit sketchy do to the fact that they missed that the guy in charge of the Empire is the one who ordered Dathomir razzed.

100% of the problems that the gang run into would have been solved if Sabine had a fucking jetpack

They pull the "Thrawn knew Anakin" card out of nowhere in the dumbest possible way, which really just goes to show how much FIloni hates the new canon Thrawn books.

Chopper recognizes Ezra (which was rather cute) before Hera does, because he decides to show up on a New Republic cruiser in full Thrawn stormtrooper garb. Also we don't even get a hug between Hera and Ezra.

Shin (because she exists, remember?) who is also stranded now, goes and appears to be taking over the bandit camp we saw earlier. Have no idea where they are taking that...but honestly, good for Shin doing something for her, this seems like a selfcare move.

Now, the ending...Fucking Mortis

So, the final shot we get of Baylan, he is standing on a giant statue of The Father (there is a statue of The Son, and a destroyed statue of The Daughter) pointing out towards something on the horizon.

Back at the hermit crab people camp, Ahsoka and Sabine (and fucking Anakin's ghost, because that's right people, instead of hanging out with his son, Anakin has been just hovering over Ahsoka this whole time apparently) here this chirping, and it's a fucking creepy hyper realistic CGI Morai.

So yeah, that's clearly how all of the trapped characters are going to get off this planet...the World between Worlds. Now, this brings up a fuck ton more questions...Chief of all being how did Ezra not use this to escape years ago???

And I get that Mortis is not everybody's favorite Clone Wars arc. Which is fair. I don't hate it, but I never loved it, and Filoni dragging in the dumbest piece of Force lore that he created is infuriating. ESPECIALLY with this being so obviously aimed at those who've not watched Clone Wars or Rebels. I'm curious to see how much he immediately recons about it, given that it's been his go-to move since before even Mando s3...

I fear they're going to do something like "Bayan is The Father, Ahsoka is The Daughter, and Shin and Sabine have to fight over being The Son" or some stupid bullshit like that.

I'm glad this is the last Filoni property we're getting for a while, since I'm pretty sure he's not involved with Skeleton Crew at all writing-wise.

I am just so happy it's over!

In the meantime, if you are as annoyed at Filoni as I am, spite him by reading the new canon Thrawn books!!! They are really fantastic and give Thrawn a lot of facinating depth, along with having an incredible cast of side characters.

For those of you who are new or just finding me because of my Ahsoka rants, please stick around!!! I'm sure I will be having other annoyed Ahsoka thoughts in the weeks to come as I think back about the full series and about just everything that it's fucked up. Feel free to pop into my ask box if you're curious about my other Star Wars related opinions, I'm more than happy to answer, though know that for the majority of the recent shows, I do not look fondly.

But if you are looking for some vindication on not enjoying recent Star Wars things, then this is the blog for you!!!

[somber-sapphic]

Hi! Can I request 1, 35, and ill timed with Yelena and sick reader? Love your writing!

Old Wives' Tales

This is my first Yelena fic! This is also unedited! Mostly because it's 2am!

[[Summary]] Most of the avengers would kill to get out of a press conference. Not you. You would do whatever you could to make sure you got to go. (yelena x reader)

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You had been looking forward to the press conference all week. Most of the others absolutely hated dealing with the media. Natasha voiced her hatred outright and had even recruited Clint and Wanda (who were clearly only supporting the assassin because they were dating) to boycott any sort of press event. Fury had shut it down, insisting that it was a part of the job and that people needed to view all of you as a unit. 

Tony loved the attention, Bruce didn’t really care about any of it as long as the big guy didn't come out, Cap was, of course, all about the people, Strange enjoyed showing off his intelligence in any way that he could and Thor always looked bored. Yelena only went because she had little choice. Natasha decided that if she had to go, so did her sister. 

You, Tony, and Cap were the three who truly loved the conferences. It was fun for you, it was some of the only times that you could snap back at the public for the way that they saw some of you, mainly when it came to the three women. For some reason, they were more okay with the men destroying cities than with the rest of you accidentally knocking down some statues in a battle. Calling them out on it and watching faces go red was quite entertaining. 

Imagine your dismay when you woke up three hours before the conference with a blocked nose and full sinuses. Your throat felt like someone had force-fed you gravel and your body was unnaturally heavy. Damnit. You were sick. You hadn’t been sick in years but could recognize the feeling anywhere. It went without saying that you were no longer looking forward to dealing with reporters. 

With a hacking cough, you heaved yourself out of bed, swaying when your feet hit the floor. All of the blood rushed from your head, leaving you dizzy and vulnerable. You fell back onto the bed and clutched your head in your hands, groaning quietly. This was going to be an incredibly long day. Suddenly the idea of sitting under harsh lights and arguing with misogynists sounded like a nightmare. 

You took a final deep, bubbling breath and stood up again before shuffling to the bathroom to get ready. Despite knowing that there would be someone to do your makeup you applied a small amount, simply enough to make yourself look less like a walking zombie and more like a semi-living human. 

It was difficult to do proper makeup with shaky hands and blurry vision, but you pulled it off with minimal screw-ups. You’d thought for a moment that you could handle doing mascara and eyeliner but after accidentally drawing a dark black streak on your cheek. Then you’d had to do the makeup again, leading you to give up on doing anything close to your normal look. 

You threw back a shot of cold medicine and chased it with two Tylenol tablets swallowed with a gulp of water. Your throat burned and you coughed into the sink, wincing at just how much worse that made it. The fever you could deal with, but the sore throat was really getting to you.  

There was this old wives tale that you only vaguely remembered, but you knew that it had something to do with salt water. After a quick Google search, you found yourself in the kitchen mixing a teaspoon of salt into a glass of warm water. The internet had recommended less salt, but your logic said that more would make you feel better faster. 

You took a sip and nearly gagged as you attempted to gargle with it, the salt burning your throat even further. You only managed to keep it in your mouth for a few seconds before needing to spit it out. Wrinkling your nose you did the same thing with the rest of the glass, managing to keep the disgusting water in your mouth for longer each time. 

When it was gone you rinsed your mouth with clean water and took a big sip, thoroughly annoyed when you found that your throat seemed to hurt even worse than it had before. So that had failed. Of course, it did, why would it have worked? Why couldn’t it just make you feel better?

You checked your phone and sighed, wondering what you were supposed to do for three hours. If you had thought it over better you may have waited to do any sort of makeup and instead set an alarm that would let you sleep for a little bit longer. But no. Now you had to figure out what to do with yourself. 

Then, it came to you. Some people swore by exercise to cure minor illnesses and you needed to train anyway. Screw the makeup. You made your way down to the gym and changed into a tank top and leggings, pulling your hair up in a tight bun before you entered the actual training area. 

You made your way over to the punching bags and began to hit one, growing tired after only a few seconds. That didn't matter, it was good for you. It would be good to sweat out the germs and you’d get in a bonus workout. 

Twenty minutes later you had moved onto the obstacle court and were drenched in sweat, struggling to avoid said obstacles. You had fallen on your ass twice and there was a fresh bruise on your cheek which would of course hurt much worse when that was the only pain that you’d have to focus on. 

“Y/n! What on Earth are you doing?” You stopped and turned around to find Yelena stalking toward you, wearing a nice dress and a scowl. You opened your mouth to respond when the blonde’s expression turned to one of worry and you felt something slam into your back. The breath was knocked out of you and you fell to the ground, curling up to protect your head. 

You stayed in that position until you felt calloused hands on your shoulders, coaxing you out of your protective ball. 

“Idiot.” The young widow grumbled, pulling you to your feet. She held you steady and glared into your eyes, her face softening as you felt yourself wanting to cry. She could tell, of course, she could. There was no bullshitting Yelena Belova, especially when you didn’t have the energy to put on a mask. 

“The germs aren’t leaving.” You complained, your voice a mere whisper. The woman raised an eyebrow and nodded, pressing her hand against your forehead. You whined and pulled away, swatting at invisible bugs as you did. 

“Okay weirdo, you sure are delirious. Come on, let's go.” She ordered, wrapping an arm around your waist. You sniffled and put your head on her shoulder, nearly letting the tears fall when she pulled you closer. 

It wasn’t often that Yelena would show affection where others might see the two of you, it simply wasn't the kind of person she was. But in private she was incredibly loving and attentive, she was an absolute sweetheart who would quite literally kill to keep you safe. Well, she may also kill for fun. The woman had a violent streak. 

“We’ve gotta go, Lena. We have-”

“Shut up.” You shut up. It just wasn’t a fight that you would win, nor a fight that you wanted to start. You’d rather just let her do what she wanted and maybe she’d cuddle with you. She’d definitely cuddle with you, it was a matter of whether or not you’d get a lecture about neglecting your health or not before the cuddles. 

Yelena half-carried you to your shared bedroom, not complaining about how much work you were making her do. It wasn’t intentional, but it seemed that forcing yourself to train had sapped every ounce of energy that you had left and you were struggling to make your body move the way it was supposed to. 

Your clear lack of strength came to a head when your knees gave out under you and you found yourself crumpled on the floor of the hallway containing everyone’s rooms, Yelena unable to keep you standing any longer. 

“Damnit, Y/n, are you alright?” The Russian woman asked, maneuvering out of the tangle of your combined limbs. That was it, that was all that you could take. You had been doing such an okay job at keeping yourself steady, making sure that your illness was on the sidelines, hyping yourself up for the press conference that you had been so excited for but now you were starting to break down. 

Tears slipped down your cheeks and you hung your head, body beginning to shake as you let yourself give up. Yelena cupped your face in her hands, her striking emerald eyes searching every part of your face for anything that could tell her how to help. 

“Hey, hey why are you crying?” She murmured, quickly rearranging the two of you so that you were leaning against her instead of the wall. You knew that your nose was running and that you looked absolutely disgusting, you were amazed that she was willing to be so close to you. She usually shied away from sick people. 

“Talk to me kotenok. Tell me what’s wrong, let me help.” Her kind words just made you want to cry harder. Rather than forcing you to answer Yelena held you tighter, pulling your head down onto her chest. She pressed her lips into your hair and whispered to you in Russian, promising you that everything would be alright. 

“I-I don’t f-f-feel good.” You finally managed, speaking into her shoulder. 

“I know Y/n, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this sick. But that’s why I’m here, I get to help. Even though you’re kind of an idiot.” You let out a waterly laugh and smiled, sniffling thickly in an attempt to get rid of some of the snot. Gross. 

“Gross.” Yelena echoed your thoughts and pulled a tissue from her pocket to wipe your nose with. Where she had gotten a tissue and why she had one you didn’t know, but you were grateful. 

“Thanks, baby.” You mumbled, giving her a weak smile. She snorted and kissed your forehead, rolling her eyes at you. 

“Alright germ bag. Ready to get up again?” The blonde helped you back up and the two of you went back to stumbling down the hall, your tears subsiding slightly.

Maybe you could convince Yelena to let you join the press conference via Zoom. Then at least you’d get to be a part of it. If not though, at least she was there to remind of you of your bad decisions all while making you feel like the most loved human in the whole world.