#Breaking News: Vampire is dragged into love with a Wizard

[tumbleweed-run]

Observations

Kinktober 2023 Day 19 Voyeurism

Astarion found that sometimes when he had no desire to join in with Tav and Gale, he enjoyed watching them have sex.

Sometimes, the mood struck and he would join them in the middle or even near the end of their lovemaking. Strangely, they didn’t complain and easily accommodated his late arrival. Sometimes, he didn't want to join them and instead touched himself while watching. And sometimes, he just wanted to watch and his cock took almost no interest in what was going on.

He could never tell what the outcome would be.

Tonight when Tav invited him into their room he’d accepted, knowing that, at least for now, he was going to claim his spot on the windowsill nearest the bed. Gale, irritatingly enough, took notice of this and nodded like he understood the meaning. Maybe they did. Somewhere around the time Tav was sitting in Gale’s lap, back to his chest, and she opened her eyes to find him watching as the wizard trailed kisses down her neck she’d reached out her hand and asked if he wanted to join them. He’d declined.

That was that.

As it was every time this exact scenario happened. He’d separate himself. One of them, usually Tav, would ask if he wanted to join them somewhere in the beginning. As soon as he’d decline they would leave it, no pouting or cajoling. Hells, they never asked again. Astarion would sometimes tell them no, even when he wanted to, just to see their reaction. Every time they took him at his word and left him alone.

It was still a strange feeling for Astarion when his no was met with unequivocal acceptance.

Gale’s hand was now in between Tav’s legs, and he was whispering something so softly in her ear that all Astarion could hear was the rush of his breath. She was whimpering as she ground against the wizard’s hand. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were shut.

Gale was still fully clothed, whereas Tav was naked.

The wizard asserted dominance in subtle ways like that. He was quiet and gentle dominance, where Astarion made sure you knew who in the room was in charge. Gale rarely inflicted pain instead he withheld or on the opposite end, overstimulated. Astarion knew the line between pain for pleasure and pain for hurting and happily inflicted it on the willing. The wizard liked sweet words of praise and soft reassurances, saving his filthy mouth for other activities. Astarion preferred commanding with his tone and cruel words that were only softened by his lovers reactions. Tav enjoyed both of them, shining like the sun when Gale called her his sweet love or some other nauseating poetry and then flushing as she became dripping wet when Astarion called her a whore.

It was strange knowing these two so intimately to know these things. He was always good at reading people but this knowledge lived inside him.

Which was why it was little surprise when Gale made a show of licking his fingers, glistening with Tav’s arousal. Sex was a rare moment when the wizard would cease his mindless ramblings to put his tongue to better use. Tav, Astarion, it didn’t matter. The wizard liked things in his mouth.

Astarion’s cock twitched with the memory of the other man’s tongue working along it similarly. He pressed his palm against it, not sure if he wanted to do anything just yet.

Tav was also watching Gale, writhing, hips seeking contact where there was none.

Gale offered his fingers to her a string of spit stretching from his mouth to them obscenely. She accepted, drawing them into her mouth. As she began sucking, Gale’s hips bucked upwards, jostling her slightly. He groaned, allowing her to continue sucking for a moment. She keened when he removed them.

Astarion’s hand moved lazily against his cock, fabric of his trousers dulling the sensation slightly.

Gale had her stand from his lap and crawl onto the bed. She waited on all fours, legs spread exposing her wet cunt to Astarion. The wizard stood, pulling off his shirt. Astarion had anticipated him using this position to bury his face into her. He was a little surprised when instead, Gale pressed a finger back into her.

From the sound Tav made, she too was surprised. She leaned forward a moment as if away from Gale’s finger but then almost immediately rocked back. Gale’s free hand landed on her lower back, pressing down lightly as if to hold her in place. She stilled even as he added more fingers inside of her, pumping them in and out. Tav moaned, head hanging low below her shoulders so Astarion could no longer see her face.

Gale leaned over her, more soft words he could only hear the whisper of. Her response was to moan louder. The wizard withdrew his fingers, there was a mutter of incantation, and then they were coated in oil.

Astarion had used magic during sex before, though from him it centered more on disguises. Gale on the other hand used it as an extension of himself. The mage hand was a personal favorite, whereas Tav preferred various ice spells. On a whole things would be a lot more tedious without the magically appearing oils.

At first when Gale pressed his fingers back inside of Tav Astarion was confused. Then in a barely there movement Gale pressed his thumb gently against the pucker of Tav’s ass. She moaned loudly in response. Astarion shifted, partially so he could see better and in part so he could free his cock.

Gale was far gentler with Tav than he was with Astarion as he gently worked his thumb past the resistance of that little ring. For once she wasn’t growing impatient with how slow the wizard was moving. She was only rocking back slightly against him, the fingers in her cunt still moving. Astarion watched, rapt.

This was something new, as far as he was aware they’d never done this. The way Gale handled the situation was, unfortunately, not an indicator.

Astarion stroked his cock, subconsciously in time with the speed of Gale’s fingers. He even stilled when Gale withdrew them. Tav collapsed onto her elbows.

Gale was quick to remove his trousers. The way his cock slapped against his skin when free annoyingly made Astarion’s mouth water. He doubted he would ever forgive his body for the way it reacted for the irritating wizard. Even more and more, he was growing annoyed with his mind for the soft thoughts that occasionally filtered in about him.

Gale climbed up onto the bed behind Tav and blocked Astarion’s view of her. He stood and shifted towards the side of the bed. A quick glance from Tav, head still bowed, was the only indication either of them gave to his presence. 

Gale gripped his cock and teasingly swiped it from as far up between Tav’s ass as he could reach to her clit. He did this several times until she was rocking back towards him, tempting him to press into her. When he finally pressed into her cunt she sighed, happy and relieved. Gale began to thrust, but not without angling his still well-oiled fingers so he could press one into her ass. 

Tav’s breath hitched as the wizard worked his finger deeper into her than before. Gale froze, ever in tune to her responses, until she urged him on thrusting back once again. He resumed his movements almost instantly. 

Astarion was happy to watch them even as he stroked his cock a little faster, deciding now that he’d get off from this. 

Neither of them acknowledged him still, both of them lost in this little world. Tav’s moans were near constant, noises escaping her even as she inhaled. With the way she was squirming, fingers gripping tightly to the sheets below her, she was close. Gale was a little quieter only little grunts escaping each time he thrust into her. He was watching the way he fucked his finger into her in time with each of his thrusts, the whole thing disappearing now. Astarion found himself equally mesmerized. 

He didn’t know what had prompted the wizard to try this with her but suddenly his own mine was filled with many ideas he wanted to try. For once, Astarion really hoped he and Gale were on the same page about something. 

Gale barely pressed the fingertip of a second finger into Tav when she came, gasping the wizard’s name. He allowed her her time, letting her ride out each and every wave of her orgasm until she was still and panting. Only then did Gale remove his fingers to grip her hips, pace near brutal as he chased his own release. Astarion’s hand matched his pace. 

Gale came with a curse spilling out of his mouth, like always pinning their hips together and rolling his hips as he came. 

Once the wizard had still and he pulled out of Tav Astarion climbed onto the bed behind him. Reaching around the man he drug his fingers through the mess between Tav’s legs. She whimpered, still sensitive from her orgasm. He quickly slicked the mixture of oil, arousal, and cum along his cock before grinding it against Gale’s ass. He didn’t thrust into him, just between the globes of his ass. 

The wizard didn’t protest, his mouth blissfully quiet as he allowed Astarion to rut against him. Astarion gripped Gale’s hips moving faster. It didn’t take long, his own orgasm hitting quickly. His hips stuttered and he came onto the other man’s back. Astarion allowed himself a few more thrusts, letting his own cum mingle with his already profane mixture on Gale’s back.

[perpetualexistence]

We Drive Each Other Batty

Alenoah Week Day 4: Royalty/Vampire AU

Alejandro Burromuerto is an absolute menace to the kingdom of Wawanakwa. He comes from a legacy of vampires that strive to control as much land as possible. He's only recently set his sights on Wawanakwa, and within a year he's enthralled three towns into being his local blood bank. Life is pretty good for him.

He's so confident in his abilities that he decides to go directly for the castle itself.

Aaaand almost immediately finds himself caught by King Chris's personal bodyguard, Chef, who knocks him unconscious with a pan before he can enthrall Chris.

The smart thing to do would be to kill Alejandro. But Chris is a petty man who prefers humiliating people.

Who better to ask how to do that than his personal court-wizard-in-training who Chris specifically because he's snarky and petty?

Noah gets dragged into this and comes up with an idea. If he likes mind controlling people so much, then let Alejandro be on the other side of things. Tinker with a familiar bonding spell to turn Alejandro into a familiar. He'll be forced to listen to someone else's orders, and can't harm anyone except in defense of his wizard. Plus, if done right, it can have the added benefit of making him 'fun size' thanks to having to categorize Alejandro as a bat to make this work. That way his vampire strength and speed won't be as much of an issue.

There's two problems with this plan.

One, the bond can only be created with a wizard who doesn't have a familiar yet. Most adult wizards do. It's even a requirement to bond with a familiar at some point in a good amount of magic schools.

And two, the bond is usually done with two consenting parties. Since Alejandro would be fighting it the whole time, keeping the familiar bond would be an active effort on the wizard's end. It's possible if you find a wizard with enough power, but good luck trying to convince a wizard to be a spell battery.

"Say, kid. You don't have a familiar yet."

"Mclean. Don't you dare."

"Think of it as a new part of your job description!"

"I'm not going to deal with a psychotic vampire for your sick amusement!"

"Sure you are! Do a good enough job and you might get a better holiday bonus this year!"

Thus Noah has accidentally sealed his fate to being stuck with a 4 inch vampire who is absolutely livid at this humiliation.

They both hate this situation so much. Alejandro can't mind control Noah because that's the first thing Noah ordered him not to do the second Alejandro woke up tiny, confused, and pissed.

Noah can't just leave Alejandro alone in a cage in his room all day because the longer and further he stays away from Alejandro, the weaker the bond and the more likely Alejandro will break free from it.

Alejandro keeps trying to persuade Noah that he's learned his lesson the non-magical way. And Noah shuts him right down because he knows that's a lie.

If Alejandro's really being difficult, Noah has no issues with throwing him into a bird cage and ordering him to shut up for a while. Noah really wishes he could just order him to shut up forever, but Alejandro starts fighting against the bond even worse when he can't speak, which usually ends up giving Noah a headache. Temporary relief is the best he can manage.

That and taking him to Chris to see what humiliation Chris and Chef have decided to put Alejandro through for the day. That usually brighten's Noah's day.

Alejandro still gets his own little revenges in. He looks for every loophole under the sun within Noah's orders. He banters at every given opportunity.

He'd love to give backhanded compliments to Noah in front of people that aren't Chris and Chef. However, no one else is allowed to know that Alejandro is still alive.

Letting a vampire live is a big no-no, even if Chris approved of it. Vampires still need generous amounts of blood to survive. Animal blood works somewhat, but it's more like living off rations. Vampires can only get full nutritional value from a human. Which doesn't really endear humans to vampires. (Part of Noah's job is to let Alejandro feed from his as well. It feels more like four little needles than a serious bite, and thanks to Alejandro's new size he doesn't feel that woozy when Alejandro has had his fill. Noah doesn't mind it nearly as much as he pretends to.)

Plus, Alejandro did get some of his hooks outside of the castle, so there's a decent chance someone could recognize him and decide to take advantage of the fact he's easily killable. So when around others, he takes full bat form and pretends to be a regular familiar. He's lucky he can at least talk with Noah telepathically so he doesn't have to be completely mute.

Still, it's not all bad. Now that Alejandro is, magically speaking, a bat, he can actually experience sunlight. He'd always used the metaphor 'you're as radiant as the sun' when charming others. It's a different thing entirely to actually feel its warmth.

Noah takes notice the first time when Alejandro is completely silent for once. He sees Alejandro staring directly at the sun in awe. He actually looks kind of cute sweet like that.

Except Alejandro is staring directly at the sun, and so Noah has to snap Alejandro out of it. He isn't just going to someone blind themselves, even if it is Alejandro. It's almost a shame to see the mask fall back on his face. (Too bad he didn't notice the flicker of shock at someone showing concern for Alejandro's wellbeing.)

With forced proximity, the two start to learn more about each other.

Alejandro learns about Noah first since he can't help but observe the fact that Noah is reading textbooks, but he hasn't seen Noah attend school once. When Noah isn't reading, he's catering to Chris and Chef's whims.

Noah still seems to be doing just fine, though. He knows Noah is advanced for his age based on what he's reading and how much he gloats about it. Still, if he was advanced than Alejandro would expect a tutor to be guiding Noah along to suit his level. The only adults he's seen consistently during his stay with Noah is Chris and Chef.

Alejandro points this out to Noah, and receives a long rant from Noah in return.

See, Noah's completely self taught. Before Chris, his family couldn't afford to get him a tutor. This isn't inherently a problem. Some wizards will take on apprentices for their service rather than for payment if they see potential in a particular student.

The problem is no one wants to teach a child who wants to learn dark magic. Nobody that Noah would ever want to meet, at least.

Noah could lie about not wanting to learn forbidden magic. But he'd always risk getting caught by whoever's training him. Not to mention the risk of getting himself killed because he was performing something dangerous without anyone to save him.

Plus, he considers it incredibly stupid that dark magic is a taboo subject to learn. The reason why creatures like Alejandro get away undetected for so long is because everyone else is more than happy to stick their heads in the sand. Their solution to combat evil is to simply not talk about it. As if that's just going to make it magically go away.

The only real way to learn how to counter it is to study it. It's like how making an antidote for a poison requires a bit of the poison itself so your body knows what to fight against.

Hell, it could even be used for good! Even something like Alejandro's hypnotism. It can lull a growing angry mob to not be stupid. It can force a different evil bastard to do something good.

But no, people like Alejandro screw it over for everyone else, and now any time he tries to make these arguments he's 'the bad guy' or 'should be barred from magic for everyone's good'.

Noah got lucky. Chef found him when he was insulting yet another wizard who shot down his chance at apprenticeship. He might have forgotten angering someone who can throw fireballs isn't the best way to guarantee your own safety.

Chef dragged him away and attempted to yell some sense into him. When it was clear that Noah was still just as defiant, he dragged him directly to Chris. Who ended up liking his spite and sarcasm, and offered him the job of court-wizard in training. It was hard for Chris to find any wizard willing to stay with him too long. And he's got plenty of dark magic crap that he has stored away. Both of them get what they want!

Noah wouldn't learn how demanding Chris was and how he'd make people put a lot of effort into stupid tasks that drive less patient people mad until later.

He took the deal because it was the best he was going to get. He knows he's being underpaid compared to what a regular court magician would be making. But for as much as Chris is a pain of a boss, he's given Noah exactly what he's wanted. He'd dare to say that Chris and Chef cared about him. Though Noah will refuse to say if he feels the same way about them.

Alejandro can't help but admire Noah for that. Deep down past that apathetic, snarky exterior, there is someone who's capable of ambition. Or at least capable of using spite as a motivator.

Alejandro's mask slips as he ends up sharing how he can relate. He gives off the airs of a vampire who's been around for at least a century or two. Truth be told, he's only a couple of months older than Noah. He's aging as a human would, for now.

He, and his lineage, are born vampires rather than bitten. Hence how he can have multiple thralls at once and transform into mist or a variety of animals. Bitten vampires are lucky to be able to hypnotize one person, and are typically limited to the advanced strength and speed.

So he can certainly one up the average vampire...but not other born vampires. Or vampires who have actually lived for centuries. He's still considered nothing more than an insolent child not to be taken seriously.

He does have the expectation on him to expand the Burromuerto influence. But he's constantly being compared to other relatives and their accomplishments. Particularly that of his brother José who has a couple of decades over Alejandro's head.

Alejandro has been working hard to close the power gap. He's been training to be as strong and fast as possible. His hypnosis works so well because he put in the work to learn how to actually charm people. The magic is to make sure the feeling stays for longer than it would naturally. But getting people to do what he wants? All him.

And it's still not enough for anyone else. So he decided to get a headstart on the family tradition. He was supposed to wait until he came of age, but he was already strong and confident in himself. Going off and succeeding early would prove everyone else wrong.

He'd been doing so well, too. He hadn't even needed to kill anybody. Unlike most of his family, he doesn't particularly care for it. Not because he cares that much about humans. But because he sees it as a waste of a resource. Sure, you can inspire fear into others with a death. But that fear can easily turn into outrage, and rebellion. It will be harder to control a population that is actively working to fight against you. Much easier to charm them and have them not even realize anything is wrong. Everyone is alive, and there is nothing to worry about. They just have to give a bit of blood every once in a while. And for that, Alejandro would make sure nothing else would dare to touch them.

That last part of the story concerns Noah. A lot. But it's...nice? That Alejandro cares? Enough to value a human life. Considering the rest of his family, it's a miracle Alejandro's got anything resembling compassion.

And at least he's finally being honest about something for once. Noah prefers honest but callous to kind but insincere. This part of Alejandro's still concerning...but he likes it more.

It's the start of these two doing more than just argue with each other. Alejandro's still not happy about being small. He complains about it just as constantly. But it's no longer lashing out at Noah. Noah doesn't really throw him into the time out cage anymore. Alejandro is gentler when he bites into Noah's neck to feast. Noah is less tense when it happens. He leans into it more. They bicker still, but they're actually willing to work with each other.

It's how they figure out a loophole. Neither can't really use their own magics to their full potential anymore....but they do now have access to each other's magic. They just have to be willing to train each other in it.

On Noah's side, Alejandro is trying to teach him how to hypnotize others through charming them. It doesn't go well. Noah's terrible at giving compliments. Changing his wardrobe to accentuate Noah's looks doesn't help when he doesn't flaunt them. That shopping trip to get Noah a new outfit definitely didn't awaken anything in Alejandro. Except it does. Noah is indulging him in one of his favorite activities. He looks cute in some outfits, hot in others. Noah mocks, Noah teases, Noah banters. It's just Noah, actually. Noah's cute, and he's also hot. Oh no. Alejandro's got himself a crush. ...MOVING ON FROM THAT-

Eventually, it clicks. This isn't working because Alejandro is teaching Noah how to be a Burromuerto. Which Noah certainly isn't. To charm someone, you have to work with what you naturally have and exaggerate it. Noah has snark. Use that to insult people that his victims would hate, not the victim themselves. Nobody likes being insulted, but everyone has something that they love gossiping about. That's Noah's in to get others to open up.

Then, there's the actual ask. Noah can't directly say what he wants all the time. Sometimes that may work, but sometimes what he wants is directly opposite to what someone else wants. He can find out when it's safe to be direct or not through gossiping. Then, if it's not safe? Make them feel safe. People underestimate Noah because of his age and figure. Use that.

Noah's just a pathetic, cute scrungly little guy who doesn't do much. What's the harm in letting him take a dangerously powerful grimoire off your hands? He's not going to do much with it. He's just curious.

Noah grins with pride the day he's able to hypnotize a guard who constantly abuses their power into humiliating himself.

On Alejandro's side, Noah's willing to teach him shadow magic. He wants to start with teaching Alejandro how to change their shape, and then move on up to making them solid.

There is also teleporting through shadow, but Noah's not teaching him that. That would give Alejandro the ability to leave Noah. Which would be bad for the whole 'keep Alejandro in check thing'. For no other reason. Noah wouldn't miss him. Not one bit. They just have to stay together for practicality. That's all. Let's get back to talking about shadows.

Alejandro assumes this should be a piece of cake. It's just another form of manipulating, just with a thing rather than a person.

He's terrible at it.

He coaxes, he begs, he pleads with the shadow to just move, and it refuses him. He's cursing in Spanish at an inanimate object.

Noah laughs at him for this. This earns Noah some curse words.

Noah tells him to stop treating magic like it's a person to be charmed. It's not. It's a thing. It follows orders so far as you figure out the right language. You tell it what you want, and then it gives it to you. No convincing, no tricking. Just asking.

Alejandro can't ask for one thing when he means another. That just confuses the magic and makes things not work. He needs to be direct for once in his life. Trust in his own ability to make something happen. Not in his ability to trick someone else into making something happen.

It takes Alejandro a while to just ask the magic to do what he wants.

I can't figure out how it'd work on Alejandro's side yet. Probably because I haven't yet defined the kind of magic he can do. 'Standard wizard fair' isn't going to cut it if this is coming from a personal bond/something that's intrinsic to Noah that would simply take a different form with Alejandro. It'd definitely have something to do with tying into how Alejandro doesn't actually NEED to charm people/force them to like him to get what he wants. His problem would definitely be that he's trying to force the magic to go exactly how he wants it to go. But magic's not something that likes being tamed like that. So Alejandros's got to learn to effectively say what he wants and just trust in his own abilities enough to make it happen.

When he does?

Alejandro shows off with a little shadow puppet show. He orchestrates puppets no bigger than him from atop Noah's bookshelf. It's endearing, it's sincere, and Noah is screwed because he is in love with this little vampire.

The more they teach each other, the stronger they grow. Neither realize it, but the bond is no longer draining each other.

They learn about this when someone attempts to mug Noah when he's running one of Chris's errands. The mugger grabs an Alejandro in bat form and slams him against stone to stop Noah from using magic. Alejandro is alive, but in a daze. Noah immediately makes tendrils of shadows to fling the mugger into the nearest wall, then hold them aloft in the air. He's running for Alejandro who's mumbling, asking if Noah is alright.

Noah doesn't know healing magic, but he's putting all of his focus into figuring out something to help Alejandro. It's working somewhat. Alejandro's head is clearer, though his body is still damaged. Noah puts more effort into making sure all of Alejandro is better. So much so that he doesn't notice a second mugger coming to check on their partner, who is now sneaking up on Noah. Noah is grappled before he can react, and is dragged away kicking and shouting.

Alejandro acts before he can think twice about it. The next thing he knows, he's standing at eye level with both of his newest victims. He hisses, his fangs bared, ordering them silent before they can scream about his presence. They are to release Noah and grovel.

The muggers do so without hesitation, their eyes glazed over. Alejandro wraps his arms around Noah in a hug. His grip is tight. He is at his full strength and could crush whoever he desired. He is gentle with his querido and plants a kiss on his forehead.

Alejandro wants so badly to drain them dry, but Noah takes priority. The muggers are to leave, turn themselves in, and forget the type of magic Noah and Alejandro used, and their faces.

The muggers leave, and the two are left to look each other in the eyes for the first time.

They stare for a while. Neither of them quite sure of what the other wants to do right now. Noah's the one who breaks the silence first.

"This late growth spurt's a bit much, wouldn't you say?"

Alejandro snorts at the absurdity.

They agree to keep the familiar bond as it is. It still lets them communicate with each other telepathically, and lets them use the other's magic.

They'll have to hide the fact that Alejandro is at his full strength, of course. Particularly from Chris and Chef. Alejandro tries and finds out that he can shrink at will now. Truth be told, he doesn't mind it anymore. (He's touch-starved, and rather enjoys being held and pampered by Noah.)

Alejandro also promises not to go enthralling everyone.

"Just five thralls will suffice."

"No."

"Two?"

"No!"

"One? I'll even make it Justin. Just imagine the things we could have him do."

"...No."

"You hesitated!"

"Stop tempting me!"

"Is it really tempting if you were already thinking it?"

"I hate you."

"You love me."

"That's not the point!"

The two stop when they realize that bombshell just got dropped.

They finally have proper confessions and decide to start dating. Alejandro immediately offers to turn Noah into a vampire so they can live together. Noah immediately shuts him down. Alejandro's sad until Noah explains.

One, that's a huge commitment when they've literally just started dating. And two, if Noah did that now then he'd have to be a teenager forever. He hates being a teenager NOW. An eternity of that? Hell no. In the future though? They can come back to this, and Noah'll let him know if he changes his mind.

Alejandro is more than happy to wait.

Fun little side note: Alejandro's got a bat form, and I already know exactly which species he is!

Meet the vampyrum spectrum! Also known as the spectral bat, or the great false vampire bat. They're carnivorous little guys who eat birds, rodents, and uniquely, other kinds of bats! Part of their natural habitat covers Peru, and they're also fun in that while most other bat species are polygynous where it's just one male with multiple females, these guys are mostly monogamous! Perfect for Alejandro!

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Cadance from my little pony friendship is magic got an instant 5 stars from me when she first toy advertisement-ed into existence SOLELY for ONE reason:

she reminded me of Allison from Hocus Pocus. and Tara from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

not personality-wise but ROLE wise

I'm such a sucker for the trope of "main character's love interest actually bonding with the main character's little sibling independently of the main character". I love it when the younger character gets this cool new friend / sibling.

with Allison there are several times in the movie when she's the one hamming up the fun spooks just for Dani, or protecting her, or worrying about her- like Max is a good big brother, but it's so fun to see Allison care about this snarky little kid for her own sake. And as a person with siblings, for me if Love Interest doesn't think the siblings are cool then they are OUT. Disqualified. Especially applicable to the little kids in my family.

Tara from Buffy was Willow's gf sure but she got to have relationships with people outside of that- and the one she has with Dawn is so, so sweet. In this case Dawn is the little sister of Willow's best friend, but the same general principle applies. Tara cares about Dawn NOT because she's dating someone who happens to be connected to Dawn, but because she just, likes Dawn, to the point that her and Willow breaking up puts Dawn in a very "kid caught between divorced parents" situation. Which, while not fun, also shows how much Tara does care about her- she still goes out of her way to be in Dawn's life, even after ending things with Willow.

When Cadance popped up in the Canterlot Wedding episode, when we found out the snooty one was a fake and Twilight's fond memories of being babysat by Cadance hadn't been one-sided

(side note: you know you've done well when your little sister leaps for joy after finding out who you're marrying)

it was so AWWWW that Cadance could prove her identity by doing the silly little dance she and Twilight made up! and later on in the series, she just keeps being so supportive of Twi, believing in her, literally dragging a whining chaos god to almost the ends of the earth so her and her sister-in-law bestie could spend time together- they share a NERD OUT over some old wizard!

It's so heartwarming! this specific flavor of found family- it gets me every time

[enha-doodles]

“THE FANTASY”

Pairing : 6yearzxreader! Genre : fantasy and Yandere coz why not💀

"Oh hello jay" you said smiling to him when he sat down on your table with your other friends during lunch . He is a part of your friend group and you all always eat together . Your school is filled with different creatures , werewolves , faries , witches , all except humans . The weak and selfish creatures are too much to handle . Jay lovingly smiled back to which you blushed a bit but it wasn't that noticeable . "Hello y/n , how was your day" he asked digging in the food . "It was good but I have the cleaning duty today" you stated clearly upset that you have to clean the library , like why does school make students do work ? That's child labour and the point that they have to do it for free just didn't make sense to you . Well people have opinions . He chuckled at your adorable reaction and said "don't worry I'll accompany you today , I got some work in library" you squealed in happiness before side hugging him since he was beside you , sparkles coming out from your wings from being relived , it always happens when you are too happy . "thank you , thank you , thank you" you weren't exaggerating it was just coz you didn't like to be alone especially in the creepy looking library . "Is the fairy scared?" Teased one of your friend , sunoo who was an angel . You scoffed playfully " nah I just want some company , it's boring being all alone and working your ass off like a maid Mr angel" the table erupted in laughs as you sipped your choco milk while grinning . Jay smiled while his fangs were on view , adoring you with the most loving face which girls in your school die for , after all the vampire was famous for having everything. While he was too busy staring at you , he saw someone at the back and jay's face darkened . Sitting far away , the wizard could only smirk at his enemy enjoying his time and having fun with you . They both liked you and knew about each other's crush too. Heeseung and jay were enemy's since childhood as their parents are rivals . They were friends at some point but then jay got to know the real reason why Heeseung befriended him . He wanted to bring down jay's parent's company to make his parents proud . They had a fight and jay ended up breaking the friendship with a punch straight on Heeseung's jaw which has a slight scar bcoz of jays ring . They hated each other very much .

You were at the library cleaning a shelf when you felt someone behind you , when you turned around , the person was too close to you caging you with his arms on the both sides of your head . Damn he was tall . "What?" You asked confused as to what was happening right now while backing at whatever space was left . The guy only smirked , you were too cute , the only one thing in his mind was 'you will be mine little fairy' . Before he could say anything he was pushed off by jay who came back from the restroom . He was angry at how Heeseung could corner you while he was gone just for 2 minutes . "Fuck off Lee , if I see you around her one more time you will be dead . Do your cheap shit with other girls " he spat while pulling you behind his back . Heeseung laughed "what ? scared I'll steal your little fairy ?? News flash park she isn't yours" jay huffed in annoyance and rolled his eyes "she isn't yours to play around as well , scram off and mind your business mister magician" Heeseung glared at him "I was minding my business , while you poked your nose in mine " you had enough of the fighting and stepped up "okay do this while I'm not with you guys , I have things to do and places to be so let's go jay " . You dragged jay away while both of them were thinking about how the fantasy of you being theirs is gonna bring so much danger and fight . You will have to choose between the two and there will be a bloodwar . Bloodwar between a vampire and a wizard for love .

Taglist : @axartia @nikipedia07 @lovesickxmina

[slothquisitor]

What Moves in the Dark: Chapter Eight

A post-campaign Baldur’s Gate 3 eldritch horror AU.

While waiting for leads to pan out, Liv and Astarion have very different means of passing the time.

Author note: a small content warning for this chapter, this chapter includes Astarion making some self-destructive decisions consistent with canon behavior. While everyone involved is definitely consenting, it is definitely not a good time for him.

Read from the beginning.

Read on AO3.

____________________________________________________________

Several days pass without word from either Astarion or Kharis, so Liv spends her evenings reading everything she can find on vampires. If she’s lucky, perhaps she’ll have some progress to show Astarion the next time she sees him. She oscillates between reading and notes and re-organizing the workroom. It’ll be undone the second Kharis returns, but for now, she has an area to do research and plenty of space to brew whatever potions and elixirs she must when stock gets low. 

There was a time when she might have been grateful for the solitude, but as the days drag on, Liv wonders if she’d perhaps protected her peace these last six months a little too well. 

Books and notes are scattered in haphazard piles she’s hastily rearranged. She shifted focus rather abruptly last night. There’s no chance that she’s going to accidentally stumble upon a cure for vampirism in the books she has access to between her and Kharis’ collections. But that was never her strength anyway. No, she thinks she can find a magical solution, a stop-gap if nothing else to give Astarion back the sun. Or at least she hopes so. 

She’s startled out of her reading by an insistent banging at the shop door. It’s late, she’s had to recast her light spell at least three or four times now. The knocking continues as she carefully enters the shop proper, inching around the counter to glance out the windows to see who is at the door. 

It’s a little embarrassing how quickly she recognizes the figure as Astarion, and even more embarrassing how incredibly happy it makes her to see that he’s here. She adjusts her sweater and smooths her hair that’s no doubt escaping from the bun she’d pulled it into in a fit of annoyance an hour ago. Then, she unlocks and opens the door. 

“Hi,” she greets him with a smile that is immediately replaced by confusion when she realizes that he’s dragging a bound and gagged man into the shop. 

“Lovely evening, isn’t it?” Astarion greets her cheerily. 

“Uh…who’s this?” 

Astarion looks at the man with a frown. “Funnily enough, I didn’t get his name.”

Liv represses the urge to roll her eyes and tries again. “Why did you bring him here?”

Astarion grins as if he knows he’s annoyed her. “He’s infected. I was just about to sink my teeth into him and drain him dry when I realized he smelled just awful. So I bound him up and brought him to you.”

She’s still confused. “For treatment?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, darling. For interrogation.”

Liv can’t help but laugh. “What makes you think he’s going to tell me anything?”

“You’re a wizard, can’t you just read his mind?” 

Her stomach sinks. “Not as a general rule, no.” She’s never been very comfortable with the idea that she could violate someone that way, breaking into their mind. 

Astarion puts a hand on his hip. “Well, I believe rules are meant to be broken. Besides he’s a Bhaalist, and I’m turning him over to the Fist anyway. He’s as good as dead, so you might as well question him about his blood and if he has any other murder lord friends still hanging about. Call it service to the city if your moral compass needs the justification.”

It occurs to her that it should be harder to agree to this than it is, but Astarion makes a good point, and she can’t quite keep herself from a new lead. “Can I try simply asking first?” 

Astarion gives her a long-suffering look. “You can, but I don’t expect it’ll be very helpful.”

“Bring him in the back. We’ll sit him down for this,” Liv replies. 

“Oh, it’s much cleaner in here,” Astarion comments as he shoves the man into the workroom and toward a small wooden chair near the fireplace. 

Liv nods. “It’ll go back to chaos as soon as Kharis returns.” She approaches the bound and gagged man, crouching to be more on his level. “I’m going to remove your gag and ask you some questions. Your blood is infected with a disease that will likely kill you. It’s in your best interest to cooperate.”

Astarion makes a disgruntled noise behind her, but she doesn’t hesitate as she removes the gag. The Bhaalist immediately begins spitting threats and profanities at her. 

“Charming. If you don’t help me, I will get what I need from your mind anyway.”

The Bhaalist begins to laugh. “My lord Bhaal will rejoice when I slowly bleed you dry and present your heart to him.”

“That’s quite enough of that,” Astarion says, replacing the gag a little more roughly than necessary. “Will you simply read his mind now?” 

She knows the spell, of course she does, but she doesn’t like using it. She’s never been comfortable with the idea of breaking into someone’s mind, in sifting through their thoughts that way. And maybe it’s a flimsy justification, but if it helps them help others…It takes just a moment, but she casts it and suddenly she is falling down the connection to this man’s mind. 

It is not a happy place. Blood-soaked, angry, full of religious zealotry and celebration of pain and death. She sifts through memories scarred by violence, looking for anything and everything that could be helpful. She’s aware of her voice in the room, asking questions so that memories and thoughts bob to the surface just within her grasp. She questions, looks for Guild connections and finds none, asks about other Bhaalists and finds none except those already dead and gone, only a single face of interest materializes. A meeting in a house in the Upper City….she doesn’t recognize the man, but the home is familiar to her. 

“What in the hells were you doing at Caldwell’s home?” Liv asks. But she knows that the Bhaalist doesn’t know, it hadn’t mattered to him to know. This man hadn’t been important enough to sit in the actual meeting, so that’s just another mystery. She adds it to the ever-lengthening list. 

“The Caldwells….we found the body of a Caldwell..along with an Oberon and Linnacker…their charred corpses were near the Guildhall,” Astarion says quietly. 

“Killed by Bhaalists?” she asks. 

“Besides me, they are the most dangerous thing down there.” 

Liv lets the magical connection between herself and the man unravel. “He didn’t know why they were there or even that it was the Caldwell’s. He doesn’t know where any other Bhaalists are either.”

“How utterly useless,” Astarion says with disappointment and then slams the hilt of his dagger into the back of the man’s head. He slumps forward, out cold. 

“What…why did you do that?”

“Because I didn’t desire an audience for our conversation. What else did you find while poking through his thoughts?”

“Very little beyond death and violence. He was in attendance at a meeting at the Caldwell’s home. They met with a man I didn’t recognize. Not one of the Caldwells, I’m sure of it.”

“That certainly complicates matters. The Caldwells in league with Bhaalists…”

“An infected Bhaalist,” she says. “That’s new. Doesn’t fit the pattern. Has the Guild gotten back to you yet?”

Astarion’s lips twist in disgust. “No. Which is quite rude, honestly. If I haven’t heard in another day or so, I’ll stop by myself. But when I do talk to them again, shall I bring up the Caldwell connection?”

“Certainly couldn’t hurt. Sorry, that wasn’t more helpful.”

“His mind sounded like an absolutely miserable place. I’m sorry you had to sift through it. Any word from Kharis?”

She shakes her head. “Not yet. Though, he might still be traveling. So I wouldn’t expect anything for a few more days at least.”

“What’s all this?” Astarion asks as he walks around the workbench, glancing through her notes and books. 

She had rather hoped to have something more concrete before she shared anything with him, but he’s here and she wants him to know she’s trying. “Well, I did promise to help you with your condition, didn’t I?”

Astarion looks up at her, eyes narrowed. “These are all books about spell theory and Netheril.”

She walks around the opposite side of the workbench, leaning back against the opposite counter. “I pivoted a bit. I don’t think with what research I have access to I’m going to cure vampirism outright, but you talked about how the mind flayer parasite was infused with Netherese magic and it protected you from the sun. So, what if there was a way to replicate that protection with a spell?” 

“The last people I knew who were messing with Netherese magic are either dead or only alive through the intervention of Mystra herself.”

“I’m not attempting to do Netherese magic, but rather understand what it changes about the Weave that would grant that sort of protection,” Liv explains but realizes from Astarion’s unchanged expression that he's not getting it. “Okay, think of it like this: if I ask you to draw something you might begin sketching a rough shape of the object, right? But another person might begin with guiding lines. Neither approach is wrong, but they are different techniques.”

“Alright.” He looks unconvinced. 

“Netherese magic is just another technique for accessing the Weave. The magic is the same, but the access to it is different. Perhaps using some of their technique when crafting a spell of protection could replicate the effects of the tadpole. Spellcraft is a finicky business though, but I’ve got some ideas. I’m afraid they’ll require a bit of trial and error.”

Astarion seems to be considering what she’s said. “Well, aren’t you the clever one?”

“I’m sorry, I know it’s not a cure -”

“Don’t,” he interrupts, brow furrowing in discomfort. “Don’t apologize.”

“Just trying to be a useful wizard.”

As expected, he seizes on the light comment immediately. “You are a very useful wizard, and the least annoying one I know.”

“I should put that outside the shop: Least Annoying Wizard Found Here.”

“Helps balance out the most annoyingly devout cleric of Lathander, I think,” he says with a grin. 

She can’t help but laugh. “It’s good to see you. Seems like you’ve been very successful with your contract.”

He sighs. “Marginally. It took me three days alone to track this one down in the sewers. Speaking of, it’s getting late and I should really turn him over to Devella and collect my reward.”

She buries her disappointment that he would leave so soon and tries to focus on the fact she’s glad he’s here at all. The Bhaalist is still slumped over in the chair. “I think I’ve got something to rouse him.”

“Good because I refuse to carry him to the barracks.”

The Bhaalist probably has a good three inches and at least fifty pounds on Astarion, she’d be surprised if he could carry the man all the way from here to the barracks, but she refrains from saying so. She dumps a health potion down the Bhaalist’s throat before replacing his gag and then helps both of them back to the door. 

“I’ll be back in a day or two whether I’ve heard from the Guild or not.” Astarion pauses on the street, the moonlight glinting off his curls. He turns back to her as if he’s forgotten something, and he smiles. “It’s good to see you too.”

And she hopes he can’t hear the way her heart stumbles over itself.

***

It is evening in Baldur’s Gate, and Astarion is hungry. So, It isn’t really that much different than the last two centuries of his life, except that it is. Or at least he tells himself that coming to this tavern is because he can and because he wants to and not out of some ingrained habit. He tells himself that he’s here to be surrounded by people and not because he’s hunting. Because he’s not. 

He has an iron grip on his self-control where it matters, and in this, it does. He will not be a monster. But the situation is beginning to get desperate, especially since he’d really been banking on draining that Bhaalist from a few days ago. He has a few options: simply ask Rolan or Rolan’s siblings for some blood, find a willing (or unwilling criminal) participant somewhere in the city, or go hunting for animals in some Upper City park. 

Rolan and his siblings are out because he lives in Ramazith’s tower and that’s already feeling like too much despite the fact that he fastidiously avoids them all as much as possible. Especially since they keep checking in on him in Gale’s absence. Animals are…fine, but it’s been months since he’s had to subsist on animal blood and it feels like failing to go back to it now. Which leaves finding someone else in the city. 

He’s kept an eye out for passing vagrants, but the streets have been obnoxiously safe despite Bhaalists attacking him and Liv. And he could ask Liv, of course. But he’s surprised by how little he wants to. He’s sure she’d be willing, and like Tavren would offer it willingly and without commentary or debt owed. But he wants to solve this all on his own…he doesn’t want favors or pity. So perhaps he simply should allow some of these flirtations he keeps entertaining lead somewhere. And if that somewhere means he gets fed, well, two birds one stone. 

“Evening,” a quiet voice pulls him from his thoughts. 

Astarion turns just slightly to see Percy has joined him at the crowded bar. “About damn time.” It’s been nearly a tenday. 

Percy for his part, doesn’t seem bothered by Astarion’s less-than-enthusiastic greeting. “Why don’t we grab a table,” he says, accepting his drink from the barkeep and weaving his way through the crowded room.

Astarion follows him to a quieter section of the tavern, to a dim corner where they’ll be able to speak and not risk being overheard. Percy moves through the space comfortably, he has an aura about him, something that reveals confidence without quite inviting anyone to approach. There’s a distance between him and all these people, and Astarion remembers Nine-Fingers’ jab about his Upper City manners and it all clicks into place. Percy is a noble and he carries himself like it, though he doesn’t dress or act the part in a way that would reveal it to a casual passerby. Astarion wonders just how long Percy’s been slumming it. He’d guess a very long time.

“So, did you find any connections worth sharing?” Astarion asks as they sit down. 

Percy sips from his drink and offers Astarion a grim smile. “Not as much as I’d hoped. Alfran and Moira were easy to link, of course, they knew each other. But they had no overlap with the dock worker or his mother.”

“None at all?”

“None. I need to know if any more of my people are infected. Have you found anyone else?”

“Funny you should ask, I did apprehend a Bhaalist who was also infected. Liv poked around in his head, and found that he had dealings at the Caldwells’, meeting with some man she didn’t recognize as being one of the family.”

“But it was definitely the Caldwells’?” Percy asks, eyebrows furrowing.

“She seemed quite sure.” 

“Caldwells working with Bhaalists…that is…I’ll have to look into that.”

Astarion doesn’t hide his annoyance. “So you’re telling me that you’ve spent several days on this, and you have nothing to show for it?”

Percy’s eyes flash, but that’s the only sign that Astarion’s gotten under his skin. “Believe me when I say, no one is more frustrated than I am. Especially since it means I’m inviting you back to the Guildhall to help look for more people so that we might be able to solve this before it gets out of hand.”

“Ah, more time together, how lovely.” Astarion accepts that he’s not going to be eating tonight. “Lead the way.”

Percy laughs. “Not tonight. We’re certainly not heading there from here. You draw an awful lot of attention.”

“Do I?” Astarion asks with a grin. He hadn’t noticed, in fact, he’d very much stopped trying to notice attention or flattery for a long time. In the last decade or so, he’d show up and flirt terribly and take the first idiot willing to go with him back to Cazador. Actually putting in the work to seduce anyone had gotten rather rote, it all ended the same so why would it matter anyway? At least if he didn’t try then he didn’t have to feel bad when he led them to their doom. 

Percy finishes his drink. “Enjoy your evening. I’ll be at the Guildhall tomorrow evening.”

“I’ll endeavor to look forward to it,” Astarion replies, but Percy has already stepped away from the table. In his wake, Astarion glances around the room and realizes that Percy was right, he has drawn a fair bit of attention. There’s an elven man drinking with friends over at a table across the way who keeps glancing toward him. Astarion meets his gaze, expects him to glance away, but he doesn’t. Instead, he holds the eye contact and smiles, inclining his head in clear invitation. 

And before he can think better of it, Astarion goes over. 

The man recognizes him as one of the heroes of Baldur’s Gate and asks if he really is a vampire with such sincerity that belies nothing beyond a passing curiosity. It is easy to tell himself that this man wants him because he’s a hero and maybe he does deserve a bit of worship. He did save the world after all. So when the man presses him against the wall, he lets it happen. The man’s kisses are hard, precise things that tell Astarion he hasn’t had nearly as much drink as his companions, though he can still taste the sourness of the wine on his tongue. 

Astarion has been touched with many sets of hands over the last two hundred years. It’s been a while, his longest dry spell in well…ever, but it hasn’t been enough time to banish the memories of other hands, of other nights. He remembers telling Karlach once that he wished that everyone who had ever put their hands on him would have burst into flames; she'd said that she wished they could trade. But this man’s hands are just this side of reverent, firm and strong, but never asking for more than Astarion might want to give. 

And that’s the whole reason he’s tolerated his attentions this long. His plan for this evening was never to land pressed up against the wall, the man’s thigh pressing between his legs, but it feels good to be desired. To have his flirtations returned. And he’s starving, and the man’s blood smells divine, and maybe that’s enough for tonight. Maybe hunger and desire are close enough to the same thing. 

He hasn’t been with anyone since the nautiloid, since the whole tadpole business. At first, it was because his seduction attempts had failed, and later it was because he realized he didn’t have to use his body anymore. Since Cazador’s defeat, he’s been trying to reconnect that piece of himself again, the one that felt pleasure, that enjoyed sex. And he had enjoyed it, once. There had been a time when he had looked forward to the respite of getting lost in someone else, in touches that didn’t mean bruises, in pleasure that didn’t give way to pain. He had once tried to convince himself that an eternity of sex and desire and pleasure might not be so bad despite the penance he paid in blood. It hadn’t lasted, had instead twisted and turned into disgust and shame, and he hasn’t been able to get back. 

He worries he never will. 

But this man with the quick smile and the nimble fingers and sweet blood might be good enough. So when the man pulls back, his lips kiss-bitten red, and asks, “Your place or mine?” with all the confidence Astarion used to have, Astarion gives the answer he’s never had the freedom to give. “Yours.”

He has spent the last few months entertaining attention like this in some manner or other, savoring the thrill of saying no, in leaving a tavern entirely alone. But he tells himself that it is nice to be reminded he can say yes, that he can have these moments. Later, when they’re both naked and wanting, Astarion bites into the man’s neck; the man buries his fingers in his hair and moans into Astarion’s ear. The blood is sweet and full and good. The sex after is…fine, but sated on the man’s blood, it’s harder to feel any real desire, urgency, or interest. He doesn’t want this, but he’s here and he’s said yes to enough and this isn’t forever and maybe if he just stays and plays this out he’ll find some enjoyment from it. 

This man is handsome and he keeps checking in, keeps asking what he likes or if this is good, and Astarion keeps saying yes, keeps nodding along and performing like he always has. This man is good and kind and wants Astarion to enjoy himself, and Astarion wishes he could. He has taken this man’s blood, so he feels as though he can’t leave now. He wants this to be fun . He should be able to go to a tavern and go home with someone beautiful and enjoy himself. He deserves this, and he deserves to not have Cazador take this away from him too. But his body keeps moving and he tells himself it is different from before. Astarion hasn’t led him to his death, just maybe a little one. This man will not end the night drained and trapped in Szarr palace. This man is not a victim, so Astarion can’t quite fathom why it doesn’t feel any different.

After, when the man finally falls asleep, an arm slung heavily across Astarion’s chest, Astarion feels nothing but relief. The performance is over; he can finally rest. Despite being fed, there’s a hollow feeling somewhere in his chest. He needs to be anywhere but here. He thinks he’d rather starve than do this again. So he dresses in the silence and slips into the night between the man’s breaths. He never even stirs. Astarion isn’t even sure he can remember his name; he knows he doesn’t want him to remember his. 

The only thing he’s sure of in the darkness is that he is painfully and irrevocably broken. 

***

When Astarion next visits the shop, Liv can’t help but note that he is more quiet, almost pensive, lacking some of his usual humor and theatricality. Liv tries for a joke or two as he enters the shop and earns nothing more than a few strained smiles. 

“The Guild reached out and it turns out they can’t find a connection between our three victims,” Astarion says matter-of-factly as he steps past her. 

The news is disappointing, but not surprising considering how many dead-ends they’ve found themselves facing already. “I see.”

Astarion waves the disappointment away with the back of his hand. “Oh don’t be so worried, I’m going back around later tonight to see if I can identify anyone else and give us more leads. Though my contact was very interested in the connection you made to the Caldwells.”

“Did they say anything about it?” 

Astarion shrugs. “Just that he’d look into it. Seemed to worry him though.”

“Well, that’s something at least.”

Astarion holds out a small twine-wrapped binding of papers. “I didn’t come simply to bring you disappointments. After our last conversation I reached out to my friend Gale, and he kindly supplied me with all of his notes on Netherese magic and the tadpole that he took over the course of our travels.”

He’s giving her the notes from Gale of Waterdeep? “Seriously?”

Astarion shrugs. “It sounded like it might help you help me.”

She takes the papers and undoes the twine, quickly skimming the messy, but detailed writing and diagrams. The notes are a mess, seemingly scribbled on whatever paper was nearest when the writer needed it. “This is…this is great. It should be very helpful. Thank you.” And it might be more for him than for her, but there’s something about the fact that he thought about it at all that fills up something inside her. 

“You’re very welcome, my dear,” he replies with a genuine smile that makes her heart jump. “I’m not meeting my Guild contact for another few hours, and I wondered…if I might stay here for a bit? I promise to stay out of the way of your work.”

He wants to stay…here? With her? “You’re always welcome here,” she says, unable to suppress the smile that stretches across her face. 

He follows her into the workroom, sits himself down in the chair nearest the door, and pulls out a book. Liv is tempted to ask him more questions to see what has shifted this deliberate change in their friendship, but she’s just glad he’s here, and it’s clear he’s a bit unsure about it. So she returns to her work as normally as she can, but she does glance up every now and again to look at him. More than once she’s almost sure she catches him glancing at her as well. 

“Is this really all you do with your evenings?” he asks after a quiet, but not unpleasant hour has passed. 

Liv looks up from the notes she’d been examining. “Sometimes. Why?”

“You don’t have friends or family or lovers taking up your time?” 

She smiles. “If my family wanted to spend time with me then I’d know the world really was ending.”

“Not on good terms?”

“No.”

“And friends?”

She sighs. “I have few of those these days. Truthfully, beyond Kharis I see you more often than almost anyone else.”

“That is…exceptionally sad.”

And maybe it is, but spending time with him has made her realize her own isolation and that perhaps she needs to change that, patch up friendships she’s distanced herself from. “I don’t know, you’re pretty alright.”

He looks absolutely offended. “Pretty alright? That’s all?” 

“What about you? Are you suffering from an overabundance of friends?”

He sighs. “No. Almost all of them went their separate ways after the Absolute’s defeat, and I…well, two hundred years of being a vampire lord’s obedient puppet didn’t exactly give me a predisposition for friendship.”

She wants to ask more about that, those two hundred years he’s alluded to but rarely talks about. It’s not hard to guess that whatever it was like it was nothing good, that much she knows. But she’s not sure about the rest, and she is especially unsure if she should ask if he’d welcome the chance to talk about it or hate her for the curiosity. She just wants to know everything about him – the good and the bad. 

“Do you…do you want to talk about it? I’m sorry, I’m never sure if I should ask about it or not.”

His eyes look so far away. “I don’t. Some other time, perhaps.”

“Alright.” She returns to her work then, trying to grant him space, sensing that he needs it. 

A few minutes pass before he speaks again. “Is this all there is?” he asks, voice quiet. 

“To what?” 

“To life? To freedom? Is it all just…surviving? I don’t know who I am or what I want, and I feel like I keep trying to find it… keep looking for it and just keep coming up so empty.”

It occurs to her then that Astarion is lost, and then everything about him slots into place. His waspishness any time she’s ever drawn too close to the truth of him. Arriving here of all places looking for a way to walk in the sun again, but seeming unhappy about ever asking for help at all. His willingness to go with her had less to do with her convincing him it was the right thing and more to do with the fact he had nothing better to do, no real reason to say no. His pride and happiness when he arrived one evening letting her know he had a job, a direction, a purpose. Astarion might be a hero of the city, but that doesn’t mean he has anything figured out. 

He is lost, but he came here. The realization knocks her off-balance a little, and she’s been quiet too long, Astarion’s eyes are skittering away from hers and he looks almost as if he regrets saying anything at all. “Don’t stop,” she manages. 

His brow furrows as he looks back at her. “Stop what?”

“Looking.” She says simply, and when his expression gives way to confusion, she continues. “When I came to this shop six months ago, I didn’t know who I was either. Some days I still don’t…but I think it’s important to just keep looking and trying. That’s life.”

“And what, now you’re happy and content and this shop is your calling?” he scoffs, but it’s less out of meanness and more disbelief. 

She laughs. “Oh, I don’t want to be here forever. Just until I have something worthwhile enough to submit to an academy to get the hells out of Baldur’s Gate.”

“You want to leave Baldur’s Gate? What sort of academy?” 

“A research academy, magic or otherwise. That was my plan…until I severed ties with my family and they sabotaged all my connections. Now I’ve no one to vouch for me or my abilities and no one will touch me.”

“Is that why you wanted to help me? With curing my condition?” 

She nods. “Some of it was that, yes. Some of it was the blood disease. And some of it was that you just seemed like you needed help.”

“So long as it’s not all charity, I can live with that, I suppose.”

She walks around the workbench so that she’s nearer to him, leaning back against it. “And you, what’s your plan? More contracts from the Fist?”

Astarion snaps his book shut, leaning back more heavily in the chair as he considers. “I was thinking I might strike out on my own, take a few independent contracts.”

“Ah, a bounty hunter then,” she crosses her arms. 

He gives her a single-shoulder shrug as he stands. “Sounds a bit more fitting than a morally questionable hero anyway.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I think you can be whatever you decide to be,” she replies. 

He steps a bit nearer to her, and there’s still plenty of distance between them, but Liv can feel something charged in the atmosphere, something in the way he looks at her as if he’s trying to puzzle her out. She’s almost sure she wants him to. 

“You really believe that, don’t you?” Astarion asks, voice pitched low. 

She’s not sure what he seems to be looking for in her face, but whatever it is she wants to give it to him. She’s just not sure if it’s reassurance or comfort or–

“Arrived at Candlekeep. The blood’s something they’ve never seen before. They’ve attempted to identify it and it’s not from this plane. Be careful and safe,” Kharis’ voice is full and clear as if he was in the room beside her. 

She immediately steps away from Astarion so that she can concentrate, sending her own message along the connection she feels with Kharis. “Not from this plane? Where could it be from and how did it get here? I’m fine, keep me updated.”

Astarion sputters a bit. “What in the hells–”

She holds up a hand. “Quiet.” She waits for an answer for several moments, and when she gets nothing in response, she turns to Astarion. “Kharis sent me a message. He says whatever’s in the blood, it’s not from this plane.”

Disbelief and then frustration reigns on his face before he manages a joyless laugh. “Well, it couldn’t ever be simple, could it?”

[insomniacaesthetic]

| 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 | Severus Snape (Prequel)

Requested Anonymously

Pairing: Professor!Snape x Former Student!Reader (Reader is also a muggleborn)

Request: Professor Snape has become infatuated with a young woman who works at a bookshop in Hogsmeade. He will make any excuse to travel to the small town in order to see her. Unbeknownst to him, she returns his affections. They are oblivious to the other’s feelings, thinking that there is no way their affection can be returned. Eventually, Severus decides to take the plunge and ask her on a date over winter break. She says yes and they spend their date in Hogsmeade and share their first kiss while the snow falls around them.

Warnings/Contents: Really fluffy, Slow burn, few book references 😩

Category: Fluff

Word Count: 6.1K

Song: Skinny Love by Bon Iver

A/N: So this request sounded like A LOT like how Severus met reader in My Dream Girl, so I decided to write this as a prequel.

You don’t have to read either before the other or read the other at all. It’s just a continuation as I know how much y’all loved my dream girl.

F/F = favorite flower.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

Snowstorms always seemed endless in the winter months. Most of your days were spent locked up indoors trying to stay warm, while the weather raged on outside. That was the case today as well. Snowing nonstop. Which meant the shop was even more deserted than usual. Which isn’t saying much, most of the customers were students of Hogwarts. They however, were all on Christmas break.

Since it was so dead, your boss had gone home and left you with the responsibility of locking up the shop at the end of your shift. It was becoming more and more common that you were left alone at the store. You didn’t mind though. Your boss was an older man and he had difficulty standing for long periods of time, so he didn’t do much around the store anyways. Besides, when you were alone you were able to put on music and complete your work in peace.

You had just dragged out a box from the back of the shop and were unboxing and shelving new copies of Voyages with Vampires by a man named Gildeory Lockhart. The pompous looking wizard flashing a smile at you from his photo on the back as you lined up the books on one of the shelves. Your boss had gotten in a shipment of almost every book the Lockhart man had ever written since it was as he said, “Bound to fly off the shelves!”

Of course, they almost never did but you weren’t paid to argue. After you finished with the books, you restocked some of the miscellaneous stuff the shop carried up by the register. Crystal phials, bottles of ink, and some spare quills. You glanced up at the clock once finished and sighed when you realized only two hours had passed.

You tried busying yourself with sweeping the already clean floors, reorganizing the book display for the hundredth time, and even unrolling and rerolling the scrolls of parchment for sale. Few customers sprinkled in here and there, but they never stayed for long. Mostly stopping in to grab one or two items and leaving without much more than a ‘hello’.

Having finally run out of things to do, you plopped yourself down on the stool behind the register and propped open a random book to try and pass the time. It was actually quite interesting. You found yourself becoming absorbed into the story. Flipping through pages eagerly awaiting what was going to happen next. It had you on the edge of your seat. You were nearing the end of a paragraph when someone cleared their throat.

It startled you so much, you dropped the book. Hopping off your stool, you bent down to retrieve it. “I’ll be with you one second!” You called up to the awaiting customer. You snatched up the book, but as you went to stand up straight again, you bumped your head on the counter.

“Shit, Ow.” Rubbing where your head was struck, you blushed and set the book on the counter. “Sorry about that. How can I help…you?” The words faded into a whisper. Standing before you was one of your former professors.

“I see you still haven’t managed to expel such language from your vocabulary Miss L/N.”

“Professor Snape I-” Your cheeks reddened further. “What are you doing here?”

His eyebrow raised in amusement as he glanced down at the items strewn out on the counter before you. A couple of corked glass phials and a quill. Realization struck you and you suddenly felt very silly.

“Oh of course! My apologies.” You entered in the prices for the items onto your register, all while trying to hide your face from his scrutinizing stare. “12 sickles please.”

As Snape rummaged around in his pocket, you started rolling the glass items in paper and placing them in the awaiting brown bag. When you passed over the bag, he dropped several of the coins into your hand. His fingers lightly brushing against your skin as he did so.

“Are you really reading that rubbish?” Snape gestured to the abandoned copy of Wanderings with Werewolves you had been so engrossed in.

“What? It’s actually pretty good! Plus, I had nothing else to do or read.” You chewed on your bottom lip nervously.

“Is this not a bookstore?” He smirked. “Simply choose something else.”

“I’ve already read everything here for the most part. Two years of free time really adds up Professor.”

“I see.” With that, he was out of the store before you could even utter a goodbye. The rest of your shift carried on as usual afterwards, but you did have a bit more of a spring in your step following the encounter with the man who had been your favorite professor. He looked so different now. It had only been two years since you last saw him, but he seemed to have changed somehow. You couldn’t quite put a finger on it, though whenever you tried picturing his face, your heart beat a little bit faster. The rest of your shift breezed by after that.

Days went by and with each one you hoped that Snape would stop by the shop again. Unfortunately, that didn’t end up happening. It was already the new year which meant students would be coming back soon and the shop should liven up. The first Hogsmeade visit after holiday break was always your favorite back when you were in school. Especially after your parents, who were both muggles, figured out how to get ahold of some galleons for you. Everyone raced down to the village with money burning holes in their pockets. Rushing the shops to buy anything you could have ever wanted.

That’s why your boss had been ordering lots of new stuff to fill the shelves. He was preparing for the after Christmas rush, which inevitably never really came for this type of store. Sure, it sold a few odd items or supplies some students might be interested in, but nothing they would be banging down the door for. Unless of course they wanted to own all of Lockhart’s works.

Speaking of Lockhart, you had spent the majority of your days reading through his books. Slowly you grew tired of them. It was true what Snape had said, they were rubbish. They also didn’t seem very believable anymore. But there was nothing else to read, so that’s what occupied most of your afternoons.

On one particular evening, only a few minutes before the shop was supposed to close, you were stacking random copies of books to see how high you could get it without it falling over. There hadn’t been a customer in hours so the moment it hit 9:00 pm you planned on locking up and running home to hide under a thousand blankets.

The chiming of a bell from the shop door distracted you from placing the crowning jewel on your tower. Who could possibly need something this late at night? You stepped out from behind the counter and there stood a man brushing snow off his black trench coat.

“Professor Snape! H-How can I help you?”

He turned around to face you. His mouth was covered by a series of scarves which he pulled off and draped over his arms. It must have started snowing again and pretty heavily from the amount of snowflakes that adorned his hair. “It’s cold in here.” He stepped away from the welcome mat and over to the section of the store that had large mason jars. He examined them quietly before pulling one off the shelf.

“Oh, yea sorry about that. I uhm always put out the fire right before I close up. Would you like some warm tea? Mr. Glover has a kettle in the back. It’ll only take a few moments.”

Snape stood by the front counter and laid out his few items on it. “No thanks. Just this.”

You rushed over to behind the register to ring him up. “Just one galleon please.”

Snape handed you the coin and you started to bag his items, but he stopped you. “No need. I’m going to use the jar in a few moments.”

“Alright. Anything else today Professor?”

Snape stood silent for a few moments, fiddling with the lid of the jar. There was a part of him that didn’t want to leave. He kept telling himself it was because he didn’t want to return to the cold, but it wasn’t much warmer inside either. It had just been a while since he had been in the company of someone who didn’t seem to loathe him. He glanced over at your book tower and smirked. “I see you’ve found better use for Lockhart’s books.”

You laughed and Snape was pleased he had managed to evoke such a reaction. Most people didn’t enjoy his sense of humor. “Yes well they got a bit repetitive. Was too predictable for my taste, you know?”

“No. I haven’t read them. It’s hard enough having to work at the same place as him, I’d prefer for my down time to remain Lockhart free.” He rolled his eyes and you bit back another laugh.

“I forgot. He’s working at the castle this year isn’t he. Defense against the dark arts right?”

“Unfortunately so.” Snape murmured.

You knew the topic was a bit touchy for him. Snape had always wanted to be the defense teacher, but you loved his potions class and couldn’t see anyone else teaching it as well as he had. “I bet that’ll be disastrous.”

“Already has been.” Snape glanced at the clock hanging on the wall by the entrance. “So, what type of books do you like then?”

It was a good question. Not something you were expecting, and it took you a moment to come up with an answer. “I guess I like something where the unexpected happens. Relatable and realistic characters. The hero shouldn’t always win.” You glanced up at Snape and he was staring at you intently, hanging onto your every word. “Sorry if that didn’t make any sense.”

“No, it made sense.”

“But?”

Snape looked to the clock again. “I really must be going. Besides I’ve kept you here past closing. Thank you for the jars Miss L/N.” and he was once again out the door leaving you confused and curious. You never really gotten to talk with him like that before. Hell, you didn’t get to talk to anyone anymore. The exchange was a nice change in your usual routine, and you found yourself smiling the entire walk back to your home. Replaying the conversation in your head over and over.

The next day was spent dusting the tops of the shelving that Mr. Glover couldn’t reach. The few days when he was actually present in the store were pleasant ones. He had lots of stories from his time as a curse breaker and they were far more interesting than anything in any book you had ever read. You stepped off the step stool and dusted off your hands when he told you to take a break.

Breaks seemed a bit redundant at the shop. Usually, you would sit in the back room and pick at some leftovers or sip on a cup of tea for a few minutes before Mr. Glover inevitably called you out to help him with something. You were eating a lunch consisting of pasta and reading over the daily prophet when your name was called.

“Y/N.” The raspy voice of your boss drew your eyes away from the newspaper. “There’s an older gentlemen in the shop askin for ya.”

An older gentlemen? You folded up the paper and got to your feet. Looking from the doorway, you saw Snape drumming his fingers on the counter while staring off into the distance. You immediately stood up straight, smoothed down the fabric of your dress, and walked out from the backroom.

“Professor. What brings you in today?” You gave him your best smile but of course he didn’t return it.

Snape took in a deep breath. When he first walked into the shop and didn’t see you, he thought about retreating back to the castle. He had spent the entirety of the walk down to the little bookstore practicing what he was going to say but now that he was here, it all went out the window.

“Afternoon Miss L/N.” He nodded curtly and you returned it. “I came in because I needed.... ink bottles.”

The smile on your face faltered slightly. That’s what he interrupted your lunch for?

“Uh sure they’re next to you.”

Sure enough, there they were right next to his hands. Snape fumbled with a few of the bottles and slid them across the counter. Internally he was beating himself up. Get it together Severus.

“Is that all today, sir?”

Snape winced slightly at your tone. Normally it was light and playful, but now it just felt distant. “No actually. I wanted to give you this.” He reached into his coat and pulled a package wrapped in an old copy of the daily prophet, tied close with a piece of twine.

“For me?” You gaped at him. He responded with a brief nod. You wasted no time tearing into the present. Curious as to what the brooding potions master could possibly gift you. Your hands made contact with the leather surface of a beautiful book. Blue leather decorated with swirling patterns of gold. You tore the paper away from the spine and read aloud the title, “Jane Eyre.”

“Have you read it before?” He stuffed his hands into his pockets. He was watching your every reaction and he couldn’t quite decipher your feelings just yet.

“Not I haven’t. Although I’m not a huge classic literature fan.” You couldn’t stop staring at the book. It was clearly well loved since the spine had been cracked and some of the gold on the cover had faded. You went to smile at Snape, but he looked a bit saddened. “I’ll still give it a read. Although it might take me ages and I can’t guarantee I’ll understand it too much. This is quite a long read.”

Snape perked up. “I’m sure you’ll manage. Let me know if you like it.”

You narrowed your eyes playfully. “This isn’t you regifting me something you got for Christmas is it?”

“Actually, it’s from my personal collection” Snape had spent all last night looking through his shelves. He hadn’t gone in with the intention of gifting you a book, merely to recommend one but after stumbling across the copy of Jane Eyre, he knew he had to give it to you. Especially after you talked about your fondness for the unconventional characters.

Your cheeks burned. This felt like such a thoughtful gift, and you couldn’t think of the right words to respond. “Are you sure you wanna give me something like this? I’m not even sure if it’s my thing.”

“More of a Lockhart fan?”

“No! I just…” Words seemed to have escaped you.

“Just give it a chance. There might be something in there that you like.”

“Thank you Professor.” You beamed up at him which caused Snape to cough awkwardly. He wasn’t expecting such a smile and it caught him a little off guard.

“Well. I’ll leave you to it.” He backed away from the counter and started towards the door.

“Professor?” You called after him. He spun around slowly. “Yes?”

“You forgot your ink bottles!”

Snape’s cheeks flushed pink. “Oh yes, of course.” He walked back over and took the bag then attempted to retreat again.

“Uh Professor?” He froze. What now?

“You forgot to pay too.”

Snape stopped by almost daily after giving you the book. Sometimes he would pretend to browse around for a while before he approached you. You would always ask him how you could help him and what he needed from the shop, and he would always widen his eyes and grab the nearest thing off the shelf and say, “just ran out of these actually!”

You tried not to call him out on his obvious lies but when he came into the shop three days in a row for ink bottles and new quills, it was just too tempting.

“Didn’t you buy some of those yesterday?” You smirked.

“What’s it to you, silly girl?”

“It’s just that’s two days in a row you’ve managed to empty over six bottles of ink. What are you up there creating?” You folded your arms, and Snape began to rub the back of his neck. You had started to notice he did this whenever he was caught in a lie.

“Nothing. I just keep running out. Students knock them over.” He waved his hands dismissively, but a bit of color dusted his cheeks.

“Of course. That’ll be 7 sickles. Anything else today?”

“How’s the book coming along?”

You took in a sharp breath. You had only read maybe the first few pages and started to lose interest. Classic literature really wasn’t your favorite and as much as you wanted to like it since it seemed to mean so much to him, you found yourself putting the book down minutes after picking it up. “I’ll be honest, I haven’t read much of it yet. Like I said I’m not a classic literature fan”

Snape frowned but leaned forward over the counter. He was so close to you now. You could see every line and imperfection on him. The smell of leather and rosemary invading your senses. His onyx eyes searched yours for a bit while your heart felt like it had stopped beating.

“I really think you’d like it. If you give it a chance that is. It’s not perfect, but don’t you like the perfectly imperfect, Miss L/N?”

“Y-Yes I do.”

“Till tomorrow then.”

That night was spent absorbed in the pages of Jane Eyre. At first, you struggled to see why Snape would suggest to you such a book, but as the story progressed it became increasingly clear. The perfectly imperfect that he had been talking about. By the time morning came, you had finished over half of the book. You couldn’t wait to see him today. To tell him how much you were loving it. To hopefully witness that sparkle in his eyes whenever he discussed something he was proud of or found amusing.

Snape didn’t show his face until about an hour from closing. You had already given up hope that he would come, so when you turned around to step off the step stool you had been using to stock the top shelf and saw him next to you, you nearly fell over. Thankfully, he was there to help steady you.

“I guess I’ve arrived at the perfect moment.” His touched lingered on your shoulders. Despite how cold it was outside, his hands were warm. You desperately wished to hold them in your own.

“Not really Professor. I’ve got to finish stocking so I can go home on time.” You brushed him off and fetched the other stack of books and finished placing them on the shelves.

“Perhaps I could assist you? So we could talk.” He handed you some books which you added onto the shelf.

“Talk about what?”

“The book. If you’ve given it a read.” Snape had pulled out his wand behind his back and used it to make the remaining books fill the shelves on their own.

“I have. You were right. There is something in it I like.” You stepped off the stool again, with Snape offering you his hand to help you down.

“And what is that?”

“Edward Rochester. I always have a soft spot for a well written Byronic hero.”

Snape mustered a half smile. He was pleased to hear you say such a thing. “I knew you would.”

Both of you spent the next hour discussing things. From books and potions to Snape’s clear disdain for Lockhart. At first, Snape stood idly by while you tidied around the shop, but as he got really passionate about his rant he started absentmindedly helping out. Sweeping the floors, rerolling parchment, or wiping down surfaces. Snape used magic for most of the stuff.

“Babbling fool. I’m constantly cleaning up his messes. I took great pleasure in launching him across the room.”

“Things sound tough at the castle this year.” You dropped the galleons back into the register having finished counting them.

“You have no idea.” He sighed and you laughed. He loved that laugh. Though Snape didn’t have the courage to say it, there was one thing that was making this year a bit more tolerable. That would be his constant visits down to Hogsmeade. The conversations weren’t anything spectacular, but it was nice to have someone to speak to that had nothing to do with the Potter boy. Someone to vent to. A friend almost.

Were you his friend?

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud yawn coming from you. It was a quarter till ten. You had ended up staying 45 minutes past closing. He knew you would need to leave soon and that he would see you again tomorrow. But it didn’t lessen the ache in his heart.

“I’ll finish the rest in the morning before I open. Thank you for your help Professor!” You set down the boxes you had pulled from the back and headed over to the fireplace to make sure it had completely extinguished.

“You can call me Severus. I’m not your professor anymore after all.” Snape pulled on his gloves and scarf. Keeping his back to you so you couldn’t see him blushing.

“Alright then. Have a good night, Severus.”

Merlin the name sounded so lovely when you said it. He longed to stay in this bookshop with you forever. Discussing anything as long as it meant he could stay in the presence of someone who genuinely enjoyed his company. At least he hoped you did.

“You too Miss L/N.” He nodded curtly and opened the wooden door to leave.

“Y/N.” You corrected him.

He merely nodded again and left the shop. You went to the backroom to grab your bag, stuffing the copy of Jane Eyre in it, and took your leave. Mumbling the word “Severus” under your breath every so often. You couldn’t explain how the name made you feel, but the butterflies in your stomach told you everything you needed to know. You had developed a crush.

Winter turned into spring and spring turned into summer. You and Severus had grown quite close. He didn’t visit every day, but on the days he did, he would stay at the shop for hours. Mr. Glover joked that he should hire the man since he spent most of his time there. Severus of course turned red at his words.

He also no longer pretended to come in just to buy things. But you noticed during the term he would come down frequently because “Minerva needed this” or “Albus requested one of these.” Almost as if he was volunteering to run down to the village.

You had finished Jane Eyre and when you tried to return the copy, Severus insisted you keep it. You refused at first but came to a compromise when you suggested he read one of your favorite books. He ended up loving your recommendation and you both just went back and forth. Each week you switched off, you gave him a copy of 1984 and he gave you a copy of Moby Dick.

Severus was really passionate about it. He would have a notebook where he made notes on what he read. He would read them off and you would discuss theories or your favorite characters. Every so often the subject would stray away from books, and you would discuss your week. On rare occasions the conversation turned personal. Those ones were your favorite. Getting a glimpse at the intimidating man’s personal thoughts and feelings. You wanted to get to know him better, but he had walls up that seemed impossible to tear down.

You had been quite open with him. Over the last few months, he learned your favorite foods and your favorite flower. He even brought you a potted F/F. Boasting about how he grew it himself. It was through interactions like this you were able to learn about him. He loved to garden and hoped to one day have his own greenhouse.

“I’d like to live in a place with a big kitchen, but somewhere away from Hogsmeade.”

“Why’s that?” He was sat with you in the backroom enjoying the cup of tea you poured him.

“Not sure. I’ve done everything. Seen everything. Just want a change of pace I guess.” You stirred your tea absentmindedly. Working in a bookstore hadn’t been your first career choice, but it was better than nothing.

“I don’t want you to leave.” Severus whispered.

“What was that?” You leaned forward, turning your head so you could hear him better.

Severus eyes widened and he faltered for a moment. “I said look at those leaves. Autumn is almost over.”

You joined him in looking out the window. Only a few trees still had their leaves now. It would only be a matter of time before winter was upon you once again. You and Severus had been friends now for almost a year. You turned back to him and gave him one of those bright smiles that caused his breath to hitch.

“So, what book did you bring for me this time Sev?”

“Pride and Prejudice.”

-=-=-

You were actually looking forward to Christmas break this year. Normally it would be the bane of your existence. Spending hours locked up in a bookstore by yourself with only customers to talk to, but this year would be different. Severus had already promised to come visit you once a day throughout the entire break. You told him you would hold him to his promise and that if he broke it, you would never share your lunches with him ever again.

The first day of break he came into the shop while you were decorating and caught you singing and dancing to Christmas songs. He stayed silent by the entrance and just watched you with a smile plastered on his face. When you caught him staring, you were so embarrassed you started throwing tinsel and ornaments at him.

“What’s that for?” He rubbed his shoulder where a golden ball had bounced off him.

“You were judging my dancing.” You backed away from the now fully decorated tree and admired your handiwork.

“You’re not a very good one.” He smirked.

“Have you come in just to insult me today Severus?”

“No actually I-” He paused and looked around the store. There were a customer finishing up a purchase at the front with the owner and one lingering around the used book section. “Are you here till closing tonight?”

“I always am.” You gave a halfhearted smile and made your way over to the register to ask Mr. Glover for your break, that way you could speak to Severus in private.

“Oh.”

He seemed disappointed. You couldn’t tell why. Severus had never asked you about your plans for the rest of the day since he knew it usually consisted of work. You both only spent time together at the bookstore so there had never been a reason to.

Mr. Glover was finishing up with a customer and you didn’t wish to interrupt him, so you turned back around to face Severus. “Why is there something you needed?”

“It doesn’t matter. Never mind.” His hands massaged the nape of his neck, and you immediately knew he was lying.

“No tell me!” You nibbled on your lower lip nervously. You hoped you weren’t reading into his actions too much, but it sounded like he wanted to see you after work.

“I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to the three broomsticks for a drink. After all I never see you outside this place.”

“Sev I would love to, but I work until-”

“No ya don’t.” Interrupted Mr. Glover. He stepped around from the register and stood next to you. He took your hand in his and smiled warmly. “Take the rest of the night off.”

“But Sir-”

“No buts. I wanted to close up early today anyways. ‘ve got Christmas shoppin’ to do. You two go have fun.” He squeezed your hand gently before walking over to the door and flipping the open sign over so “CLOSED” was displayed.

“Well, if that drink is still on the table, I’d love to get one with you.”

Severus nodded and you walked to the back to grab your stuff. He started to stress a bit. He didn’t expect to get to this point and now that he was here he didn’t know what to do. You came out from the back with your bag clutched in your hands, a knitted hat covered your hair and a warm jacket wrapped around you.

“Ready?” You stood next to him and almost grabbed his hand.

“After you.” He held open the door and with a wave goodbye to the old man, you stepped out into the snowy village of Hogsmeade and down towards the three broomsticks.

“I haven’t been out in ages. Thank you for inviting me Sev!”

“Of course.” You walked in comfortable silence side by side down the snow laden path. Severus desperately wanted to reach out and take your hand in his own. Every once in a while yours would accidentally brush against his and it sent sparks through his whole body. He doubted you would ever feel the same though, so he kept his hands to himself.

When you approached the three broomsticks, Severus held open the door for you once again and you smiled as you slipped past him. The place was packed. There were no free tables, and it was really noisy inside. It wasn’t how you pictured an evening with Severus going. Severus stood behind you, his chest right against your back, as he leaned down to whisper in your ear, “Perhaps we should go somewhere else.”

“Sounds like a plan.” You turned around and without thinking, held onto his hand so he could escort you out of the crowded building. Outside again, you still held onto him. He didn’t seem bothered by it and led you down past other buildings until you ended up in a small clearing.

Snowcapped trees surrounded a frozen lake where some people were skating. You walked hand in hand till you reached an old wooden bench which you both sat down on after Severus brushed off the snow. “Sorry the three broomsticks didn’t work out.” He frowned.

“It’s alright.” You stared down at your hands in your lap. It had never felt so difficult to come up with words. Normally conversations flowed freely between you two but now it felt different. A small shiver ran through you, so you pulled your jacket tighter. Severus saw this and pulled one of the scarves from his neck and laid it over yours. It smelled strongly of him.

“Thanks.” You blushed but thankfully he wouldn’t be able to see it.

“Severus I-”

“Y/N-”

You both spoke at the same time. Your blush deepened and you had to turn the other direction to avoid his eyes. “You first.” You whispered.

“Oh, um well I just wanted to ask you your Christmas plans is all.”

“I’m not sure yet. Normally I would visit family. But they're traveling this year. I think I'll have some hot chocolate and watch the snow fall. Sounds like it could be quite peaceful. What about you?”

“About the same.”

After a while of sitting in awkward silence, you pulled out from your bag the book you had been reading at Sev’s recommendation, hoping it would give you something to discuss. Severus saw and he offered to read it to you. You immediately agreed and passed him over the book. You watched the ice skaters in front of you as Severus read from To Kill a Mockingbird.

“Sev, if it’s okay with you… could I hold your hands? They’re usually warm.” Your hands were frozen and despite shoving them in the confines of your jacket, they hadn’t warmed up.

He didn’t say anything but held out one of his large hands, the other now gripping the copy of the book so tight his knuckles paled. You placed yours on top of his. He encased them and you soon felt the heat of his hand transfer to yours.

You ended up scooting closer to him on the bench so now your shoulders were pressed up next to each other as well. He returned to the pages and began reading again. His deep voice lulling you into a trance. You were so relaxed your head fell against his shoulder and closed your eyes.

You awoke to Severus lightly nudging you. “Y/N. It’s starting to snow. We should go inside somewhere.”

You got to your feet and joined him in walking away from the lake. He was a bit further ahead of you since his strides were much longer than yours. It was the perfect opportunity to catch him off guard.

Severus trudged through the snow back towards the village. He had passed a large tree when a something wet and cold hit him square in the back. He spun on his heel and saw you bent over forming another snowball.

“Oh no you don’t” He chuckled and bent over to create his own. He threw one at you and it missed you just barely.

“Nice try Sevy!” You tossed another at him, and it got him in the knees.

The snowball fight continued for a while till your hands started to feel numb. However, you didn’t plan on admitting defeat so easily. Severus threw a rather large clump of snow at you, and it crashed into your cheek. His eyes widened and he ran over to you.

“Are you alright?” He panicked. Grabbing your chin so he could observe where it hit you. While he was paying attention to your face, you were able to smash a bit of snow into his. He closed his eyes briefly and smirked, “Oh you insufferable girl. You’ll regret that”

You laughed and started to run away from him. It didn’t take long for him to catch up to you and back you against a nearby tree. Each of you panting from the difficult task of running in deep snow. He held your hands and brought them up to his mouth and blew warm air on them.

Snow was falling around you, snowflakes dotting his black suede jacket and hair. He gazed into your E/C eyes. He had that sparkle in his own that you loved so much. You stared at his thin parted lips, and without hesitation, stood on your tip toes to kiss him. When you pulled away, Severus stared at you in shock.

“Sev?” You pressed a tentative kiss to his cheek, but before you could back away, he tugged you closer by your waist and connected his lips to yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck and returned the kiss just as passionately. The relief that your attraction was mutual flowed through you. Your entire body felt hot despite being out in freezing temperatures. His hands wandered to your lower back as his tongue worked its way into your mouth. All the feelings you had held back for the past year coming through the kiss.

Your lips separated from his. He leaned his forehead against yours and hummed appreciatively. “I’ve wanted to do that for what feels like forever.” He smiled and tucked a piece of hair that had escaped your hat behind your ear. “I wish I had the courage to do it sooner.”

He bent down and pressed a kiss to your temple. “Come. Let’s get inside before you catch a cold.” He held you close to him, an arm snaked around your waist, as you walked the path back to Hogsmeade. “How would you feel about spending Christmas with me this year Y/N?”

“I think that would make me completely, and perfectly, and incandescently happy, Severus.”

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

Click here for My Dream Girl, the 'sequel' to this story.

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[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What would a cw adaptation of Harry Potter look like?

Having not watched too many cw shows myself (I just hear about their nonsense), I phoned @therealvinelle who made the poor life choices of having watched much more of The Vampire Diaries than I have and watching any Supernatural.

The following is her beautiful response:

So for starters, we merge Snape and Tom's characters. This is because Snape isn't hot, and because Tom needs to be near the kids. Tom still looks like Tom Riddle, and he's a teacher who seduces Hermione. At no point are any thoughts about the fact that he's a teacher sleeping with a student had

Harry is a blond now, and he's also dating Hermione. A love triangle ensues, one where Tom will hover sexily but dangerously in empty classrooms and make vague threats that Hermione find very sexually arousing.

The love triangle is the focal point of this show.

Voldemort is Tom's evil alter ego, who killed Harry's parents over that prophecy. He wants to kill Harry as well, but it's not the season finale yet so he's not actually doing anything about it. Too busy seducing Hermione.

Instead he just does vaguely sinister things, like release a basilisk that Harry heroically saves Hermione from.

He every so often has charged conversations with McGonagall (Who has been aged down and is in her thirties. She's still considered ancient), implying they had an affair once.

Harry and Hermione piece together that Tom and Voldemort aRe ThE sAmE pErSoN.

(Piece together meaning that Dumbledore, who only appeared in the second half of the first season and the show never bothers to clarify what his job actually is, gets a focal episode where he tells them the story of Tom Riddle through flashbacks. Terrible flashback wigs and costumes galore.)

Tom will later, in season 3 where he goes full woobie and we learn that none of his evil deeds were ever his fault, reveal that there's more to the story. That orphanage he grew up in? It was a special school for muggle-borns where they trained a future wizarding militia. Tom was the only one who broke free of their oppressive regime. The other children... GREW UP TO BECOME THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX.

But I'm skipping how season 1 ended. The answer is that Hermione disavowed Tom in the season 1 finale since he was evil, he was too sexy bad boy to care except subtle wigglings of his eyebrow told the captive Tomione-shipping audience that he did in fact care. Harmione shippers think they're all delusional. She then jumped into Harry's arms.

Which was poor decision making on her end, because in season 2 Harry joins the dark side. This lasts for half a season, mostly because the arc featured so much filler. Tom, who was imprisoned in season 1, becomes Hermione's supportive pen pal through this ordeal and she starts to wonder if maybe there's good in him after all.

Sirius Black is introduced, he's a lawyer living in the Muggle world and he was in love with Lily. We get a flashback showing us how sad Sirius was when she married James, and there is buildup for an arc where Harry's paternity will be questioned. This arc is scrapped, and Sirius is written out of the show altogether, never to be mentioned again.

Ginny gets pregnant by Neville. Neville dies tragically shortly afterwards, killed by Harry because Harry is a dark wizard now. This is actually the spinoff door episode to the new show the CW is trying to launch, "The Weasleys".

Neville's death has no real consequences, Harry returns to the light and is forgiven in time to become the child's godfather.

Oh, and can't believe I forgot: they've all been aged up to 17.

End of season 2, Tom escapes prison.

Season 3, we get the whole "DUMBLEDORE is the real villain!" arc. Tom killing Harry's parents in season 1 is forgotten, the show doesn't outright retcon it but it doesn't want the viewers to remember it either.

Hermione is once again in a love triangle, only this time Tom and Harry have both done bad things (but we'll only bring up the 2 bad things Harry did (killed Neville and said a mean thing to Hermione) and none of the 282985204592 bad things Tom did) so Hermione has a hard time.

Hermione also discovers that she's a uniquely powerful witch. She has the power to make windows shatter, candles flicker, and wind blow all about. Everyone is frightfully impressed with this.

Mid-season 3 finale, Dumbledore destroys Tom's body. It's terribly dramatic, but then turns out to only be a mild inconvenience as he is resurrected four episodes later. He's resurrected by Hermione's window shattering powering, she closed her eyes very intensely and bam, he's back.

We learn about the horcruxes, which by themselves are shockingly similar to the horcruxes of the original books. The big change, however, is that this Tom didn't know he had horcruxes, those evil bastards at the orphanage split his soul in the night through ominous rituals (another flashback here). He has no idea where this other half of his soul is.

Season finale, we learn that Hermione is in fact his horcrux. This is why they had so much in common (they don't have anything in common) and why she got through his bad boy persona (he hasn't been a bad boy since season 1!). They were soulmates this whole time!

Harry despairs in the face of this, and he and Hermione have a teary conversation where she confirms that yes, the Tomione shippers won.

He also has a pleasant conversation with Tom, as a bromance has bloomed between the two.

Alas. The episode ends on a cliffhanger, as the door flings open dramatically. Dumbledore walks in, bearing proof that Tom made an Unbreakable Vow to always serve the Order, a Vow that was obliviated from him. He drags Tom kicking and screaming away from a crying Hermione, the season ends with her resolve to find a way to save him.

(Sorry, I'm on a roll here)

Season 4, a year later. Harry and Hermione have been searching ever since Tom disappeared. They've become closer than ever, but apart from three or four moments of extreme sexual tension per episode, Hermione is Faithful™

News of Tom's terrorist actions as an Order member reach them with regular intervals. Hermione remains convinced that he's being forced to do all this and doesn't actually want to hurt anybody, Harry's not so sure.

They catch up to him in Minneapolis (did I mention this entire show takes place in the states? All the actors are American.) and he tells them to stop trying to save him. Hermione, devastated, takes this to mean he never loved her, he was only ever a psychopath playing with her feelings. She tells him as much, and Tom confirms, yeah, he's a cold-hearted son of a bitch (Harry's favorite insult for him).

They break up, and Hermione gets back with Harry. They return to their home city in North Dakota.

At the very end of that same episode, Tom is able to visit Harry for 15 seconds in the form of a specter and very dramatically tell him how he does love Hermione but he's not good for her, better to make a clean break, yada yada. DON'T LOOK FOR ME.

Harry agrees, sure no problem, he can do that. Just one noble bro to another.

Tom nods, thanks for having sex with my girl while I rot in hell, bro.

It is in this same season premier episode that the show introduces the Blacks. Remember Sirius Black? Yeah, this is sexy family.

They become instant fan favorites, and one of them is shipped with Tom (the fans now hate both Harry and Hermione).

Pandering as always, the show lets said character run into Tom. And it's not Bellatrix, oh no. It's Athena, a CW original Black. She's indistinguishable from the original Bellatrix and it's unclear why she's not just Bellatrix.

Tom is ordered to kill her, but they have a moment of truly intense eye contact so he only injures her (the killing curse doesn't exist in this show. Don't ask how Harry got his scar. No really, don't ask, the show never explained it). Shippers go wild.

Tom is eventually able to break free of the Unbreakable Vow through the power of true love (book fans are sobbing, this show gets nothing right), and he returns to Hermione, begs her to take him back. She rebuffs him, and he goes to get drunk at a bar. This is where Narcissa (aged down to 25) finds him. They have sex.

He has a brief fling with her, only to get into a more serious relationship with Athena. This leads to Hermione getting jealous.

We're now dealing with a love pentagon, of sorts. Harry and Tom love Hermione, Tom also loves Athena, Narcissa wants Harry but she has undeniable sexual chemistry with Tom.

The show descends into back-and-forth-ing, and does not get renewed.

The end.

POST SCRIPT:

The oddly popular side character that the CW never wanted to be popular at all and keeps having to make mysteriously vanish for half a season so that the plot(?) can avoid being derailed is Draco.

He's super competent but the show will never admit that.

Later, Athena plays this same role.

- @therealvinelle

[karimac]

...in the details, Part 2

A/N: Warning for this series: 18+ audience (minors DNI), some cinematic level violence, some fluff and angst. Doubt that smut will be involved, but it may be implied. I’ll make sure that is noted clearly if it pops up.

All relationships, at this point anyway, are platonic.

Please do not repost or translate my work. Likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

A bit about the OC Kari

Part 1

All mistakes are my own.

Word count: 2,249

Before you ventured into Westview, a flight of birds overhead reminded you of Redwing and Sam. Poor Sam. That sixth sense you had told you that fight at the compound was going to lead you all into very weird places. And the first one left you very squarely not in the room once again.

This time it was Steve and Bucky being thick as thieves, and you and Sam were…making a sandwich run? Couldn’t exactly get GrubHub to make a delivery to an attack site, could you? Bruce did not want some driver with a cellphone putting video up on Snapchat. “How would that look?” he bemoaned as he worked on the time travel platform. “We’d be getting tourists left and right. I don’t need that.” So off you and Sam went.

“You know, you could just, you know,” Sam started to say as he waved his hands like he thought a wizard would do, “and just poof up a plate of stuff. Right? With extra food for Banner, of course. He inhales tacos like nobody’s business. Just ask Tic Tac.”

“Sam, what have I told all of you before? Magic is the transfer of energy and matter. No suitable food stuff means no sandwiches. I can’t just think about the deli counter at Wegman’s and make a sandwich and a side of coleslaw appear in my hand. So, we’ll order on the app and pick it up. Just like everyone else. Before I hit the button, any changes to your order?”

“No, it’s fine. But don’t tell me you’ve never done shit like that when you’ve had your back against it,” Falcon huffed as you went to the rental car you’d gotten earlier in the day. That, thank Heaven, was easy to get at the local but extremely small airport.

“I’ve killed small rodents and eaten them, and I don’t mean just rabbits. Snakes, too. And, well, birds of prey, like falcons,” you groaned as you started to get into the car, but you stopped and headed back to the passenger side. “And I know you hate my driving, so here you go,” you said as you handed Sam the keys. “Sorry it isn’t a Ferrari. I was lucky to get this Kia. They didn’t exactly have anything race course worthy.”

As Sam climbed in, he saw bags of gear in the back seat. “You pulling a Wanda? Need some me time away from all us testosterone jockeys? Cyborg is going to be pissed.”

“Bucky has other stuff to deal with, trust me,” you said as you rolled your eyes. “He does not need to add Crazy Old Broad to his growing list of things to do and people to take care of this week. I heard him talking to Steve…”

“You? Eavesdropping? You are human!” Sam smirked, but then he saw the comment had hit a nerve. “You know I was kidding, right?”

“I know you are,” you said as you swallowed hard. In reality, you were not exactly buying that last comment. Sam was a sweetheart, but his comment sounded like things Tony and Steve had said about you in the weeks before the Time Heist. It depended on the situation, but one or the other of them seemed to question you, your motives, your powers and what they could do, and, at times, your grasp on reality. You did have a connection to a goddess they couldn’t see. Blaming them for having those questions just was not in your wheelhouse. “And yeah, maybe I just need to go figure a few things out. You guys know how to get me back here if you need me.”

“Somehow I don’t think Steve, Bucky and I would look so great standing and screaming your name in the middle of a fight,” Sam noted as he finally turned the key in the ignition.

“Now who is having issues with gender roles?” you said with a very pronounced side glance. “Sam, we are all human. We all need a save now and then. Maybe you’ll never have to utter my name again after today, unless you guys can’t find something you think I hid? Thor will be back once he’s done exploring the universe, and you can always get him here fast if you have Strange find him. And Wong is just dying for his shot as a full time Avenger. We all know that! And I can go back and do, well, goddess stuff, I guess. And raise horses. Just, please, make sure no one drops the ball on Parker. He lost his parents and his uncle. Losing Tony will hit him harder than anyone likely expects. He’s a good kid. He just needs support and guidance. Now, want to get this thing moving, or do you want me to drive?”

“And have you antagonize the local cops by going Mach 1? No thank you!”

You had to laugh at that one. You did tend to floor it. A lot.

++++++++++

A short time later, you and Sam rolled back to the site Bruce had chosen to set up the time travel platform. After you two handed out all the food, you realized it was really time for you to get going. No, you didn’t have a train, plane or bus to catch or someone to meet. You just knew it was going to get harder to make the break the longer you stayed there.

“She’s pulling a Wanda on us,” Sam said as he finished off the last of the sweet tea he had grabbed at the deli where you’d gotten food. “I think it’s too much he-man macho stuff, but she won’t fess up to that.”

“Wilson, how many brothers did I have?” you asked as you cleaned up the trash from the table Bruce had borrowed from a local park that had been wrecked during the battle. It had a huge hole in the end, but hey, it was good enough for the moment.

“Eight,” Bucky replied before Sam got the chance. “Just don’t quiz me on all their names. I remember your twin, Branan, and the one who was the vampire. Ewan? Right?”

“Yup, that’s right,” you grinned at Buck. “And no quiz. Promise,” you said as you raised your left hand and crossed your heart with your right.

“Why are you leaving?” Bruce asked as he adjusted the sling on his still injured arm, putting extra emphasis on the word “are” as he uttered it. “We need all the help we can get.”

Bruce, heaven help him, was suddenly one of the last active OG Avengers standing on Earth. Thor was off finding himself with the Guardians, and no one could really begrudge him that. He needed time to heal, and you knew all too well that was not easy nor time limited. Clint had more or less retired again after Natasha’s sacrifice on Vormir. Steve was getting ready to take the stones back, but upon his return, he’d likely join up with Sam and Bucky again to root out any remaining Hydra cells. That left Bruce in a very different place this time around.

“Bruce, you don’t really need me being a head case. Trust me. You do not need me giving any news outlets ammunition to blast headlines that make the team look less than spotless. I need to go home, at least for a little while,” you replied, knowing full well you were not telling him or the others everything. “And as I reminded Sam, you guys can just call me, and I’ll be here. Just whisper my name. Or yell it. Whatever works. Text me! If it’s an emergency, and if I’m not in the middle of some new damned war on my end, I’ll come running. But I have a feeling you guys are going to be just fine. Hell, I’ll give you a blessing before I head out.”

Yeah. A blessing. More like the final nail in the coffin. The words to start the spell to make them forget you.

“Big guy, you first,” you said as you put your hands on Bruce’s injured right arm. “And no, I am doing this, Bruce. It won’t be a full healing, but it should speed things up. You got this, big guy. Biggest brain. Biggest heart. May you realize just how much this team was built with your sweat and tears as it was anyone else’s.”

“I can’t change your mind?” Bruce asked as he pretended to wipe a tear from his eye and pout a bit. “And I am not asking because you are likely the only one of us who can cook…”

“I’m pretty sure all of you guys can cook something. Maybe not a good Colcannon or a fine Dublin coddle, but you’ll survive. As for the cupcakes, you guys may need to get a bakery on speed dial,” you added with a laugh because you knew they’d make that bakery rich. The Avengers loved their sugary snacks.

“Just don’t bug my sister, Bruce,” Sam noted as he waited for you to come over to him. “I still remember asking why the Cupcake Lady had a sword that night when those demon things attacked near the tower. I never asked. Why the cupcakes?”

“And not why the demons or the sword?” you said as you nearly choked on your words. “You realize that was before Steve saw me at Peggy’s funeral. That night was truly a fluke, Sam. No one was supposed to see that side of me then. As for the cupcakes, they were my entry to your world. Gifts from a fan girl. They’re easy to carry, a synch to personalize when needed, and everyone can have their own without fighting,” you said with a grin as Sam shook his head. “What?”

“You sound like Sarah.”

“Then I am in good company. Tell her the good stuff you’ve told me all these years. The words of wisdom. The little jokes. The pep talks. Tell her often. A single mom with two boys needs that. Be there for her, and drag these guys to see her, too. It would do the boys a world of good to have all their uncles stop by. Now, Samuel,” you said as you gave him a hug, “remember to keep these guys flying right. And if the world drops opportunity in your lap, whatever it might be, do not look at it and push it away without a lot of thought. The world needs Sam Wilson, the hero with a heart.”

And now the hardest part of this good bye had you wiping tears from your eyes. “I know. I’m a big mush. Girls from Brooklyn would laugh at me for this, right? Sorry, but girls from Naas and Athy do cry sometimes. I’m going to miss you two lugs. A lot.”

“Lugs. Last time you called us that was in ’43,” Bucky said as he looked down at his feet for a minute. “Somehow Hydra missed that memory.”

“You’ll see us again,” Steve said as he turned briefly to see where the case with the stones was on the platform. “But this time, it better not take 70 years.”

As you looked at the best friends, something about their auras seemed off. They had been planning something when you almost walked in on their chat a few days ago. You had no idea what it was, and you suddenly didn’t want to hang around to find out what the next act was going to bring.

“Just…watch your back, Steve. From what Clint said about Vormir, that one is going to be tough. And Buck, whatever comes next, I’m rooting for you. Even if you can’t see me doing it.”

“You really don’t have to leave,” Bruce kept insisting as you hefted your backpack on your shoulder.

“Dr. Banner, do you really want to fight my demons after all this? I have enemies. You just haven’t seen them yet. Frankly, the only reason that Hydra didn’t grab me before I hooked up with the Howling Commandos was because I was pulled into another dimension by one of those enemies. It was only by some weird twist of fate that Peggy found me when she did. If the veil between worlds had not been so thin near that camp, I might never have made it back, or Hydra might have found me first. It was pure dumb luck.”

{{And, Heaven help me, part of it was these two lugs over here}} you thought as you turned to head to your car. Then you stopped. This was a lot harder than it had been any time before, but it was the curse of an immortal to have to keep moving on. “I wish you luck, joy and happiness. I wish you peace. And, if you are truly lucky, memories long enough to have little space to spare for the likes of me because they are filled with so much more! See you in my dreams, for now anyway, fellas.”

++++++++++

You rolled out of there before Steve started his mission to return the stones, and you got a text from Bruce hours later telling you everything that had happened. Steve not coming back as planned. Then an older version of Steve shows up, sitting on a bench near the platform, and he gives Sam the shield. Right in front of Bucky.

It was now weeks later. No. It was months later, and here you were staring up at the sign for Westview. You’d gotten out of your rental car so you could get a feeling for the area around this little town.

“You made it back,” a voice said behind you. “How are you, after all that mess with Wanda and that Agatha woman? She was a real piece of work.”

The person speaking to you was Dr. Darcy Lewis. Friend of Thor and Dr. Jane Foster. Why was she even here?

You couldn’t fully figure out what the hell she was talking about. You didn’t remember being here before. Yet, you knew who she was, and you had never met her before. Or at least you couldn’t remember meeting her, here or anywhere else.

“Apparently not as great as I thought I was,” you muttered as you winced again. “Dr. Lewis, how long ago was the blip?”

“Give or take a week, about six months ago,” she replied as you started to pace. “Why?”

“Shit. Not this again,” you hissed as you looked up at the sign once more. “I think I’m going to need your help. How much do you know about Celtic myths and Irish history, Dr. Lewis?”

[redrikki]

May The Fourth Masterpost

Prequels/Clone Wars Era

May the Force Get With You- You’d think Anakin Skywalker’s conception would be pretty epic, mythic even, but you’d be wrong. Turns out, the Force is a lousy lay and a worse father. (Shmi Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, The Force, Salty Narrator)

Second Wind - Ahsoka takes the wrong exit of the the world between worlds and ends up with a second chance at saving her master. (Ahsoka Tano, Shmi Skywalker)

Pain Management - Anger can get a slave killed. Shmi teaches her son some coping strategies. (Shmi Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, Watto)

The Force Is In the Details - The chance cube lands on red and now Shmi must learn to manage with a freedom she never asked for. Written as part of the Jedi Fest Rogue Robin challenge as a continuation of The Force is in the Details. (Shmi Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn, Padme Amidala, Jedi Council)

The Anchor That You Can’t Leave Behind - On the queen’s yacht headed back to Naboo, Anakin and Padmé miss their mothers but Obi-Wan can’t get why. (Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi)

Another Word For Nothing Left to Lose - When Obi-Wan told him he was free at Qui-Gon’s funeral, Anakin took him at his word. There may, however, have been something of misunderstanding. (Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi)

For Amidala - Her handmaidens had all poured so much of themselves into Amidala, it was like they were part of her now. Padmé didn’t know if she had the strength to let one go. (Padme Amidala, Sabe, handmaidens)

Wordspring - Anakin’s words dry up in the middle of his fourth month at the Temple. If Obi-Wan can’t get them flowing again, maybe someone else will. (Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Sheev Palpatine, various Jedi)

Nothing to Write Home About - A month after losing his wife, Cliegg Lars decides to write to her son. Anakin Skywalker gets the pen pal he never knew he needed. WIP. (Anakin Skywalker, Cliegg Lars, Owen Lars, Beru Lars, Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala)

For the Greater Good - Count Dooku has never seen the appeal of Anakin Skywalker, but, when the Chosen One breaks with the Council over the treatment of the clones, he decides acquiring the boy’s allegiances might be worthwhile after all. WIP co-written with @grand-duc and @thendstartsnow (Count Dooku, Anakin Skywalker, Palpatine, Clone Troopers)

Once More With Feeling - A redeemed Anakin travels back in time post-RotJ and decides to unfuck the timeline with mixed results. (Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala, Sheev Palpatine, Jedi Council, bunch of other people)

Bridal Carry - On Naboo, it’s tradition for the groom to carry the bride to their marriage bed. With Anakin’s new prosthetic, it’s more difficult than it sounds. (Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker)

Secret Tunnel - War in the Outer Rim! While fighting on the mining world of Mumblety, Jedi Padawan Ahsoka Tano is tasked with mapping the tunnels along with a team of clones. When trouble strikes, will she have what it takes to save the day and complete the mission? (Ahsoka Tano, Echo, Fives, Anakin Skywalker)

No Place Like Home - Ahsoka’s return to the temple after her first deployment was strange, made even stranger by the fact that it should’t be strange at all. (Ahsoka Tano, Rex)

Eat, Snip, Love - Ahsoka can’t remember the last time she had a home cooked meal. Anakin and Padmé are determined to change that. (Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala)

Love and Support - After Padmé is shot at a conference, her mother insists she come home. Padmé, of course, is going no where. Episode tag to 3.07 “Assassin.” (Padmé, Ahsoka)

Across a Crowded Room - It’s a party in his honor, but it turns out the Hero With No Fear isn’t good with crowds. Padmé to the rescue. (Padmé Amidala, Anakin Skywalker)

Lightening Rod - Anakin gets electrocuted…again. It probably says something bad about his life that he’s getting used to it. (Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi)

Coming Out of My Cage, Doing Just Fine - On the way back from Kadavo, it finally hits her. In this war, Ahsoka had been outmatched, outmaneuvered, and outgunned, but she’d never felt powerless. Not like she did in that cage on Zygerria. (Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker)

In Our Bed After the War - After the mission to Zygerria, Padmé and Anakin have a difficult conversation. (Padmé Amidala, Anakin Skywalker)

Domestic Life Was Never Quite My Style - Despite her best efforts, Padmé is pregnant. Now she has a difficult decision to make. (Padme Amidala, C-3P0)

You Call That Family? - In an AU where Anakin has left the order to be Padme, Obi-Wan encounters unexpected resistance when he goes to collect the twins. (Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala)

Birthright - The Force called him to his family and Anakin is not prepared to give them up. Not even to the Jedi Council. (Anakin Skywalker, Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, baby Skywalkers)

If Not For These Bad Dreams - Fives has dreamed about killing every Jedi he’s ever met except General Skywalker. Turns out he’s not the only one. (Fives, Kix, Tup, Jesse)

Dateline Felucia - Embedded with the troops on Felucia, a reporter from HoloNet News paints an intimate portrait of the men of the 212th Attack Battalion. (Cody, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Waxer, Boil, clone troopers)

Ahsoka the Vampire Slayer - Ahsoka is the Chosen One, the Slayer, or at least she was until she died. She got better, but now there’s a new Slayer in town and things with her Watcher are strained at best. Add in a bunch of zombie mind control bugs and Ahsoka’s week could be going better. BtVS fusion. (Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker, Barriss Offee, Luminara Undili)

Bursts of Stardust - Collection of short tumblr prompts. (Everyone ever)

Rogue One

The Lord’s Estate - Every lord must have an estate. Lord Vader’s is Mustafar. (Vader, Palpatine)

Peace is a Lie - Sometimes Vader wakes up and can’t remember what war he’s fighting. (Darth Vader)

A Cog In Something Turning - Cassian hadn’t meant to give K-2SO free will. Good thing for both of them he’s a terrible slicer. (K-2SO, Cassian Andor)

Original Trilogy

Sea of Sorrow and Sand - Ben Kenobi is an island in a sea of sorrow and sand. Beru Lars has come to drag him back to shore. (Obi-Wan Kenobi, Beru Lars)

What Remains - What remains of a relationship built on lies? Nothing, as Darth Sidious will soon find out. (Darth Vader, Darth Sidious, Padmé Amidala’s preserved corpse)

On This Strange and Mournful Day - The events of Vader Down go very differently. The father and child reunion is only a motion away. (Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Dr. Aphra)

After the Funeral - Han offers Luke some unexpected support after the funeral of the guy who tortured him. (Luke Skywalker, Han Solo)

A Cynic’s Guide to the New Golden Age - The second Death Star goes kabloowie and takes the galaxy with it. It’s a new golden age of piracy and Aphra’s got some looting to do. (Dr. Aphra, Luke, 0-0-0, BT-1, Black Krrsantan)

The Last Truce We Ever Came To - Darth Vader is dead but he won’t leave Leia alone. (Leia Organa, Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker)

Sequel Era

Red Fish, Blue Fish - Leia bought an aquarium for her child like her father before her. In a perfect world she could raise Ben to fill his grandfather’s legacy. Too bad he had more than one. (Leia Organa, Ben Solo, Angst)

A Matter of Precedence - FN-2187 wasn’t the first, except for the time he was. Others have defied the First Order before, but none quite as spectacularly. (Finn, First Order)

So You Want to be a (Space) Wizard - Finn finds a mysterious book, takes an Oath, and starts one hell of an Ordeal. Crossover with Young Wizards. (Finn, Poe Dameron, Rey)

Old Haunts (All We’ve Ever Known) - Anakin and Obi-Wan as snarky Force ghosts during The Force Awakens. (Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, TFA cast)

Lady in Waiting - Rey’s spent so much of her life waiting it’s hard to know when to stop. Luckily, Poe’s there to give her the push she needs. (Rey, Poe Dameron, Leia Organa, Finn)

Not a Drop to Drink - On Luke’s island, Rey couldn’t quite get her mind around the sheer amount of water stretching out towards the horizon. (Rey, Luke Skywalker)

[warsofasoiaf]

Character Analysis: Jon Irenicus

Irenicus is a fun villain, and I think nailed one interesting element of writing down, that of bringing down the villain’s threat in an interesting and believable way. The hero typically grows in power in any story, not just in a game where your progression is literally your XP, but what the villain does, how they grow, is also interesting. If the villain is more powerful than the hero, and also does things to grow and learn, theoretically the villain should still be wrecking house. BG2 wove this into the story itself, where the more you learned about Irenicus, the less menacing he became, culminating into where he was arguably your lesser at the end: he was powerful but only aping what you were. 

Obviously, spoilers for BG2 abound.

Baldur’s Gate II introduces us to our villain almost as a cold open. Fresh off the high of defeating Sarevok, you leave Baldur’s Gate after being pressured to leave by “dark forces” and by those who suspected that you shared similar heritage to Sarevok. Seems a bit odd, honestly, to oust the Bhaalspawn with suspicion given that during the course of Baldur’s Gate I, you saved two of the Grand Dukes. It’s certainly understandable that folks would fear your heritage and you’d want to move on to greener pastures, but something more than a 3-minute cut scene would have probably set the scene better.

However, this opening, and the ‘cutscene’ that follows gives Irenicus a grand initial reveal to the player. This guy is an ultra-powerful wizard, and he speaks with a clinical detachment as he states: “It’s time for more experiments.” It’s a wonderful opening to illustrate exactly what you’re dealing with. He’s clearly interested in your godly soul, and exploiting it to some unknown purpose. What is unknown, as he gets called away by some unspecified intruders by a golem. In the next scene, magical traps are set off as an unspecified Shadow Thief gets disintegrated. Story-wise, this serves no purpose, it’s purely meant to be a way to show off the new spell effects and other cosmetic changes to the engine from Baldur’s Gate II, with the disintegration dust and the screen shaking. But it does help illustrate the power level that Irenicus is throwing around. Save-or-die spells were relatively rare in the lower level of Baldur’s Gate I, even Semaj, Sarevok’s mage companion, wasn’t firing off disintegration willy-nilly. Throwing around disintegration spells clearly shows that Irenicus is a new high-level baddy. Later we see that he killed characters from Baldur’s Gate I off-screen, Khalid and Dynahier, two of the three sets of paired companions from BG1. This gives their partners reason to join in with the player character, but it also serves to show his power; Irenicus is such a bad dude that he can wipe your party before the game starts, like he was getting coffee. It might be a cruel cut, but that’s its intent, to make the player character mad at the villain, to want to punch his smarmy face in.

Commensurate in the danger of Irenicus is the need to find out what’s going on. Irenicus clearly knows something about your godly soul and so you want to find out what he knows. Even for an upstanding lawful good character, growing in power means finding a way to effect good on a larger scale, and perhaps to overcome the evil in your tainted blood. After all, no matter how good you were in Baldur’s Gate I, you still were an incredibly powerful killer. Sure, most if not all of them were bad dudes, Mulahey the iron ore poisoner, the bandits of Cloakwood, the Iron Throne and their plans to take over the Sword Coast. But chaos and destruction follow in your wake, and that chaos undoubtedly would hurt innocent civilians; Saradush in Throne of Bhaal is clear of that enough. Even just knowing more about what is going on could better prepare you for the next Irenicus or the next Sarevok.

When you go through the starter dungeon (another piece of game design, you are being tutorialized but the pastoral instruction of Candlekeep makes no sense for someone who already had an adventure), pieces of the man start to fall into place. He holds a bunch of captive dryads as concubines to remind him of someone he lost. He keeps an immaculate bedroom for a companion that is never there, with an alarm ready to dispatch the golems to kill any who cross the threshold. There’s a woman that was in his life that is no longer there, and the loss pains him, or at least, it seems that it should. Chatter with Imoen and the dryads show that this mystery man is trying to elicit feelings that he had lost, and that’s an entirely different case of worms than pining over a lost love. There’s some element of almost-unwilling psychopathy to these actions. Other hints in this dungeon illustrate this as well. His servants, discarded in vats and forgotten about entirely, would at first evoke classical evil overlords casually disregarding their own subjects. He’s almost all of the way there, but there’s enough there that the player is suggested that there has to be something more to it than that. He does seem to have some sort of sociopathy to him, where people are objects that he can find fascinating but he has no empathy. We see this later with Wanev, who Irenicus spares solely because he was hit by a spell that left him a lunatic, which Irenicus found funny, the administrator of a jail for the insane now rendered an insane patient himself.

He is powerful though, that much is clear when you break out of the starter dungeon. His display of magic collapsed part of Waukeen’s Promenade, and when the regulatory magical body of the Cowled Wizards comes to shut it down, Irenicus is capable of swatting mages like they were mosquitos. Just like the Shadow Thieves that he had been fighting, Irenicus seems more annoyed at the interruptions than any physical threat posed by his myriad foes. He’s definitely a powerful wizard, and when he finally submits to the Cowled Wizards, he does so clearly as their superior, dragging Imoen along with him. It’s fairly plain from a game design perspective what Irenicus is doing; he’s going to Spellhold so you have to get there. Good characters want to rescue Imoen, evil characters want to interrogate him to unlock the power in your blood. Either way, the player character is given a goal, and Irenicus disappears physically from the story for the moment.

He isn’t absent though. In your dreams, Jon Irenicus waxes philosophical at the player character, evoking thought-provoking questions. He explains the paradox of your existence of being born of murder, given life from the act of taking life. He speaks about accepting the gifts that will be given to you, regardless of whether or not you want them. These dream sequences are clear upgrades in quality and presentation from the spoken-dialogue text boxes from the first game after you beat major milestones. David Warner does a great job here in delivering Irenicus’s lines, he feels like a evil mentor speaking about philosophical topics with the same detachment that he tortured the player character with in the opening. While we find out later that these dreams aren’t sendings from Irenicus but rather parts of your character’s godly subconscious, they suggest to the player going through Chapter 3 that Irenicus does indeed know a hell of a lot more about you and your godly blood, keeping the player interesting in finding out exactly what it is you need to find out. The other quests in Chapter Three don’t have much to do with Irenicus, aside from some random events with the guild war in Athkatla at night, where the player will find out pretty quick that one side is powered by vampires, the level drain and click-dialogue of “your blood is rather inviting” isn’t exactly hiding that there be vampires engaged in a secret war with the Shadow Thieves. Even then, it’s tangential. You knew the Shadow Thieves were attacking Irenicus, which suggests at least some level of camaraderie with the vampires, but as we saw with the deep dwarves in Irenicus’s lair, he doesn’t care about followers, and they might simply be disposable assets if anything at all. If you want to know about Irenicus, you’re going to have to get it from the man himself. 

Of course, as befits a high-level mage, Irenicus breaks out of the prison in a cutscene, kills the Cowled Wizards and goes back to whatever unsavory plans he thought up for Imoen, teleporting into the lobby and chewing the scenery with his “I CANNOT BE CAGED!” speech, reinforcing his position as the central big bad and confirming the Cowled Wizards as mere obstacles. This part of his plan has been made clear. Far from the meddling Shadow Thieves and Cowled Wizards, Irenicus can continue his experiments on Imoen in Spellhold, and it falls on the player character to go there and end it. Irenicus, of course, knows this too, and he makes sure he has contingency plans to deliver you to him. I’m of three minds on this. On one, he’s so powerful it seems that he is so powerful, and Amn so large, that plenty of these isolated areas within the continent would service just as well for Irenicus’s lair. Why waste time with all of this blah-blah-blah and just take what he wants? It’s not like teleport spells are beyond his ken. On the other hand, it’s a good way to break up into the freeform quest design that Chapter Three gives, offers the chance for your characters to level up and get cool gear, lets you rock the stronghold quests which definitely let you feel your class and increase replay value, and the idea of the forbidding wizard in the island lair is an excellent backdrop. On the third, it’s in-character for an immortal mage to have plans within plans, even to the point of complexity addiction, although his conduct afterward sort of torpedoes this idea. 

That is, after he recaptures you, he immediately goes back to work to his experiments, and after another trippy dream sequence with Imoen, you find his plan. His goal is to absorb your divine soul, taking it for his own. He doesn’t explain anything more, but now that he has you, he discards you just as he has so many others. Telling his sister Bodhi to dispose of you is what keeps him from being someone like the Riddler, since he’s actually going for a proper smart villain play and killing the soulless husk he leaves behind just in case he pulls a protagonist move and comes clawing back for his stolen soul. It’s Bodhi’s instability, her desire to hunt you brought on by her vampirism, that keeps you alive. After the player character becomes the Slayer, Bodhi tells Irenicus, but true to his condescending nature, he simply...ignores the PC, writing them off as someone who is going to keel over any second due to their lack of soul, completely oblivious to the fact that Bhaal’s avatar was the Slayer, and it’s clear that something is replacing the void that he left within you. The PC must effectively turn that dismissiveness against him, by releasing the imprisoned mages within Spellhold, from the powerful but mostly harmless Dili to the megalomaniacal Tiax. Yet this hard-fought battle does not end with Irenicus’s death and your victory, instead Irenicus goes to pursue his other, as-yet unknown goals while he sends another band of cutthroats to die at your hand. 

Yoshimo is sort of my feelings on this Irenicus’s Spellhold plot writ small. As powerful as Irenicus is, he really doesn’t need Yoshimo, not if he has Sarmon Havarian and so many others. Yoshimo shows up in the starter dungeon, and is useful if a bit obsequious in a “who me?” sort of fashion. He doesn’t have a really good reason to stay with the party from a story reason that he gives you. He could have said: “Hey, thanks for getting me out. Deuces!” Yoshimo’s geas gets him to want to stay with the party, otherwise he’s dead. In that sense, it makes sense for him to want to be with the group. And as the only thief who gains levels aside from the absolutely annoying Jan Jansen, he’s useful for dealing with annoying traps, because reloading a game because your main PC tripped a trap and got petrified is certainly frustrating. Game mechanics though, interfere with this. You as the player character have control over the six-person party and if you want Yoshimo to be there, he’ll be there, and if you don’t, he’ll sit in the Copper Coronet, geas be damned. He’ll stand right there until you go back in after the Underdark chapter, in which case he flops over dead and hardly anyone cares. That’s a system engine limitation certainly, but it’s remarkably clumsy. What is good though, is Yoshimo’s regret during this. He knows he has to betray you and is forced to do so, and he genuinely likes you. The writing that happens is crisp, Yoshimo truly does apologize and Irenicus backs up his dismissive assholery by telling him to shut up. When Yoshimo confronts you in Spellhold, his writing is crisp. “No redemption, and no second chances. My heart to Ilmater.” He fights you and goes down swinging (which was annoying the first time I played because he had the Celestial Fury +3). And you can actually take that heart to Ilmater, occupying a valuable inventory space through the next chapters until you can reach Waukeen’s Promenade again, where you can choose to forgive him or not, but give the heart to Ilmater either way. It would have been saccharine to restore Yoshimo, but this way, I feel, is more powerful in a world with such powerful enchantments to see the effects on the people whose lives it ruins. So the game can be clunky at parts, and Irenicus can be as well, but there’s true craft and joy in it.

Back to Irenicus though, we get the sense of more to him when we see the intro splash screen for the next Chapter. Making a dark bargain with the drow, we see that they have captured surface elves, one of whom immediately refers to Irenicus as Joneleth, suggesting a backstory far deeper as Irenicus immediately resorts to killing the prisoner after being the one to suggest interrogation instead of immediate execution, a lashing out that seems out of character for the clinically-detached evil villain we’ve been coming to know. The backstory is clear in the Forgotten Realms, the dark elves and surface elves are mortal foes and anyone who is known to the surface elves to ally with the dark elves is a great betrayal. As the PC goes through the Underdark and comes out, they are captured by the surface elves. Through a conversation with Eldoth, it can become evident that the surface elves know more than they are letting on, such as when they are the ones who suggest holy water and stakes to fight Bodhi, despite not knowing anything about either one of them. After you slay Bodhi and restore Imoen’s soul to its rightful place, you can call Eldoth out on it. Irenicus is “the Shattered One,” an exile of the elves, and it’s here that Irenicus’s story becomes apparent.

Irenicus was a powerful wizard and lover of Queen Ellesime named Joneleth. Yet in his heart, Joneleth yearned for more power and sought to take the essence of the Tree of Life, the lifeblood of the city of Suldanesselar, for himself and Bodhi. This dark ritual nearly killed many that existed within Suldanesselar, and so Joneleth and Bodhi were punished, stripping their elven nature and immortality away from them, leaving them with a mortal lifespan, thus Joneleth became Jon Irenicus, the Shattered One. Bodhi sought to become a vampire to transgress the mortal years she had, but Jon had felt that it degraded her to that of a high-functioning beast. Irenicus’s scheme was far more grandiose if also possessing an elegant simplicity: he lost an immortal soul and so he needed to take one for himself. The Bhaalspawn was the perfect choice, powerful enough to defeat Sarevok and awaken the power within, weak enough to be captured and have the divine soul snatched away. With his stolen soul freshly acquired, Irenicus now looked to the second part of himself, to revenge himself on the elves. The dark elf invasion ultimately failed, helped out by the PC butchering the leadership of Ust Natha, but Irenicus is still going with golems and summoned demons to destroy the city, usurp the power of the Tree of Life, and complete his long ago schemes. 

I... I do not remember your love, Ellesime. I have tried. I have tried to recreate it, to spark it anew in my memory, but it is gone... a hollow, dead thing. For years, I clung to the memory of it. Then the memory of the memory. And then nothing. The Seldarine took that from me, too. I look upon you and feel nothing. I remember nothing but you turning your back on me, along with all the others. Once my thirst for power was everything. And now I hunger only for revenge. And I... WILL... HAVE IT!!

When confronted by Queen Ellesime, she even asks if there was any part of him that remembered the love he had for her, and the PC sees that it’s her that was in his mind for the beautiful bedroom way back in chapter one. It was almost certainly her that Irenicus thought of when he was with his dryad concubines. And when she poses that question, he answers with the above quote, that he feels nothing. While it seems like this is a loss of depth, that he’s just a flat character, I don’t think this is the case. Irenicus had the chance to change, for self-reflection. Instead, he remembers it as all the others turning their back on him, without any recognition that his schemes nearly killed them. It’s the classic abuser mentality, how dare you make me do these things to you. When his victims tried to defend themselves, he lashed out and remembers only their ‘cruelty’ to him. It’s this that makes Irenicus, for all his great arcane might, so small. Where before he was this intimidating figure, now he’s a petty man, and fittingly, it’s here that you can kill him. Temporarily, at least, because there’s still one more dungeon. Irenicus and you are still battling for your divine soul, and after a few self-reflective quests of your own, you duel Irenicus, who dies pitiably, torn to shreds by demons as his power fails him. It fits the heroic and thematic heft of the arc. As you grow in power, Irenicus diminishes in threat. He was your torturer, an inhuman menace, then he became just a man, torn apart by tiny demons that you probably could take down by the truckload. 

There’s good things to learn here. Irenicus isn’t a super-unique villain, although some of the villain tropes are personalized for the sake of the Baldur’s Gate story specifics. But he does his job admirably. David Warner’s voice work, and the special effects (pretty good for when the game came out in 2000) really was able to sell Irenicus as an enjoyable villain. 

Thanks for the suggestions, Anons who were looking forward to this.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

[schattenjagd]

Lost without you (2/2)

A/N : And here it is. I really have nothing much to say about this part but I hope you’ll enjoy it :-) Ah, and this part got inspired by Freya Riding’s Piano Session of “Lost without you”. This is also the video that inspired this whole fanfic and from which I got the idea.

Word Count : 3.9K

Warnings : None, maybe some angst ?

Pairing : Elijah Mikaelson x Reader

Five years later, Elijah tapped impatiently on the dashboard of the dark SUV. How long had he been driving across the country with Niklaus ? Ten hours, maybe more ? He hadn't expected that when his brother had dragged him out of Hayley's house and into the car in the early morning. Elijah had no idea where his brother was going to kidnap him to, nor did he know if he wanted to know.

He closed his eyes. He was tired. After a four-year coma sleep, one would think that he had slept enough, but even his exhausted original vampire body seemed to disagree.

"I am lost without you."

He briefly closed his eyes at the sound of her voice haunting his thoughts. In Freya's Chambre de Chase, everything had been easier. His thoughts had been simpler. Sometimes he had been able to suppress the memories of her, he and his siblings had been isolated from everything, but now, here in the world of the living, every little detail seemed to remind him of her. It was exactly the same like two days ago.

***

The plan had been simple.

Hayley and Freya would sneaked into the vault below the estate to free Niklaus. Elijah's only job was to distract Marcellus as long as possible and to give women time; Time his sister would need to break certain spells.

Elijah had spent enough years of his long life in this house, he knew its entrances and exits better than the back of his hand. But something prevented him from disappearing into the little alley next to the estate, from where he would get to the side door.

At first, he didn't notice her. She had turned her back on him. The knee-length, red dress blew lightly in the warm summer wind and played around her delicate legs. She had put back the Y/H/C hair he'd loved to let his fingers run through into a simple bun.

Elijah inhaled sharply and just looked at her. He swallowed hard and was barely able to look away as he watched her continue walking down the street. A brief flash shot through his head, a flash that carried her last memory together; her farewell on the platform.

She stopped and Elijah was still tied up. If his vampire body were not smarter than him at that moment, he would have suffocated, if breathing would not be an unconscious activity.

And then she turned to face him as she crossed the street, looking for cars to come.

It wasn’t her.

Elijah blinked several times and tried to suppress this painful feeling in his chest, as if a fist has closed around his heart and slowly but surely crushed it.

It wasn't her and she never would be it again.

She wouldn’t come back. She didn't know he existed.

He pressed his lips together in a thin line. He had made her forget, sent her away and compelled to forget him. And so it was better, better for her. In any case, that was what he told himself, year after year. Year after year when her birthday was celebrated, or their anniversary together. It was terrible. And yet Elijah couldn't bring herself to forget her. How could he ?

In the meantime, Y/N's doppelgänger had disappeared and Elijah swallowed hard again. No, he had a slightly higher priority than his own grief now - his family. He had to be there for them now, as he always was. His grief had no place.

Determined, he pushed the side door open and disappeared into the property.

***

7 years ago

“It’s on the house."

Elijah had just taken a seat at the bar, and was now watching Niklaus from a safe distance how he was talking to his very own therapist, who seemed anything but pleased with his appearance. He looked up in surprise at the friendly voice and the glass of bourbon that had been put in front of his nose.

He briefly held his breath without realizing it. He knew her. He knew her, of course, but he was surprised that he actually remembered the young, pretty woman from Jackson Square. Now she looked different, wearing a short black apron over dark blue jeans and a simple black top. The Y/H/C hair had been tied back to a simple ponytail. Her Y/E/C eyes literally sparkled a little when she kindly looked at hin.

"I think I know you," she thoughtfully said, gesturing absently at him with the bourbon bottle she was still holding. It was almost as if she had read his mind. "You were the one who gave me the $50 bill."

The corners of Elijah's mouth went up a little, there was nothing he could do about it. He shrugged and gratefully sipped his drink. "What makes you so sure ?"

She just shrugged. “Well, mysterious guy shows up, looks at me. Mysterious guy disappears, $50 appear in my mason jar”. she gestured again with the bottle head in his direction and cocked her head a little. "I still don't know how you did it, but I'll find out."

Now Elijah actually had to grin a little as she put the bourbon bottle back on the shelf. She came back to him and braced herself on the bar with her forearms.

"It could just as well have been someone else," Elijah added after another sip, whereupon she only raised her eyebrows.

“Nobody was near me. “

"Neither was I."

She narrowed her eyes a little, thoughtfully. "Are ya a wizard or something?"

Elijah had for the first time in his life a hard time not to laugh. Oh, if he were a sorcerer, Niklaus would probably have murdered him several times. Still, there was nothing he could do about it when the corners of his mouth went up again."No," he replied with a smile. "I'm not a wizard."

"Why did you do that ?"

Now, he questioningly raised his eyebrows a little and looked up at her. But she had pursed her lips and looked at him, waiting.

"Why did I do what ?"

“The $ 50. Do you know how long I have to stand here to earn this ? I mean, it's probably not a lot of money for you.” Her eyes fell briefly on his expensive suit. “But still. I'm curious."

He shrugged again that evening, something unusual for him. “You have a beautiful voice. I'm certainly not the first to fall for it. ”

When he looked back at her, she had bitten her lower lip and appraisingly. looked at him  She was probably judging whether his answer was realistic or complete nonsense.

"I don't know if I should be flattered or embarrassed, Mister …"

"Elijah," he interrupted quickly. "Elijah Mikaelson."

She smiled. It was the same smile as at Jackson Square and he had to swallow again. But then she held out her hand to him.

“Well, Elijah Mikaelson. I am Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N. Nice to meet you."

He took her hand and a warm feeling flowed through him.,,The pleasure is mine."

***

Elijah was taken out of his thoughts when Niklaus suddenly stopped the car. He looked up and around, but only large wrinkles appeared on his forehead.

"What the hell are we doing in Chigaco, Niklaus ?" His voice was calm, yet Elijah was upset.

Niklaus had stopped the car on the roadside, but Elijah could still see the distinctive skyline with the Willis Tower from a distance. He rubbed his face and sighed. They had more important things to do than a road trip across America. Especially if they had missed four years in this world.

“Apparently Freya’s dream world has hit you a lot, brother. Such words from the mouth of the noble Elijah Mikaelson ”, Klaus only amused himself and his brother gave him a scowl as the blonde got out of the car and looked briefly around.

Elijah did the same. They were in the middle of downtown and it was almost a miracle that Niklaus had found a parking space by the roadside.

The streets were busy and crowded, and there was an oppressive heat in the big city that they weren't even used to in New Orleans.

But Elijah barely had time to get an overview of the situation, when his brother was already booted and headed purposefully towards a subway station.

"What is it that you're up to, Niklaus ?" He finally asked when he had caught up with his brother. He frowned as they descended the steps to the subway station.

"You'll find out soon enough."

Elijah bit his lower lip acidified and instead looked around the narrow corridor with too many people. It was late afternoon and most of them were coming from their work. No wonder that you could hardly walk in the subway station.

Elijah irritably pushed through the crowd behind his brother and was relieved when the crowds finally decreased. The big subway station was a maze and he involuntarily wondered how to find your way down here as a stranger.

He stopped abruptly.

Piano music.

Behind him, a woman quietly cursed when she almost ran into him and now avoided the original vampire, but not without glowing at him. Most of the other people did the same and now avoided Elijah.

Klaus, who had heard the same thing and noticed how his brother had suddenly frozen, stopped and sirked. Yes, exactly as he’d expected.

Slowly, he turned and watched his brother listen intently. He could literally see Elijah slowly assembling the puzzle pieces in his head and swallowing hard.

Klaus said nothing, absolutely nothing. He just turned and started moving again. And he knew that his brother would follow him.

Suddenly the crowds grew bigger and the music louder. As Klaus turned around the next corner, he could see Elijah hesitantly following him. A staircase led down to another level. You could perfectly look into the small hall below from there and Klaus stopped after a few steps and his grin only widened.

His eyes fell on Elijah. He could see how every muscle in his body had tensed as he went down the few steps as if in a trance and stopped next to him.

Klaus watched his brother slide his eyes over the crowd that had formed around the black piano. It was so crowded that it was hard to find anyone in this crowd, but Elijah made it.

He inhaled sharply when he saw her.

Of course she was sitting in front of the grand piano, how could it be otherwise ?

She was wearing a short, airy summer dress and had her Y/H/C hair tied back in a loose bun. Her fingers, dancing over the piano keys, slowed slowly until the music stopped completely.

The crowd applauded and he heard her voice.

"Thanks !" She called. ,,Thank you very much !"

Elijah couldn't take his eyes off her. After all these years, she still looked like he remembered. Nothing had changed; she was still beautiful and again this woman had cast a spell over him - no, he had always been addicted to her.

"Before I went to Marcel 4 years ago, I asked Hayley for a favor. After we returned the night before yesterday, I redeemed it. "

She started to play again and the notes echoed up to the two brothers. Eljiah carefully watched her and Klaus could see him hold his breath with her first tones.

“Standing on the platform, watching you go. It's like no other pain, I've ever known. To love someone so much, you have no control."

Klaus' corners of his mouth went up a little when he saw his brother narrow his eyes as she sang and looked at her in disbelief.

"You told me she can't remember anything," Klaus went on now and let his gaze wander between Y/N and Elijah. “And she can't either, you compelled her. Still, her love for you was strong enough that a part of her subconscious still remembers. "

“I think I'm lost without you. I just feel crushed without you. I've been strong for long but I never thought how much I needed you. "

Elijah swallowed hard and Klaus could see his hands cling to the railing until his knuckles protruded white. Klaus could see it, could see the love and grief in his brother's eyes and the pain. But then all of that disappeared and was replaced by anger. He gritted his teeth and looked away from her in pain.

"Why am I here, Niklaus ?"

Klaus laughed softly. "Because this woman down there has still fallen for you, Elijah."

“She is safe here. We have only put her in danger with our presence. We have probably already brought our enemies here.”

Klaus became more serious. “Stop with these excuses and prevarications. This woman down there, she still loves you, despite of your self-sufficient behavior. "

"Self-sufficient ?”" Elijah hissed. ,, Our father pierced her with a stake. I'm sorry if you forgot that, but I still have the picture clearly in mind."

The blonde irritably rolled his eyes and gave Y/N a quick, thoughtful look. Elijah next to him snorted irritably.

"Rebekah told me how you felt in Freya’s Chambre de Chase."

Elijah grew calmer, more serious. He fixated Y/N and swallowed hard.

“Our sister worries in vain. I am fine."

"Elijah," Klaus began to persuade his brother. "Since you sent this woman away, you are no longer my brother, no longer the Elijah who would have given anything for love."

The addressee acidified wiped his lips.  "I willingly sacrificed everything for this family, Niklaus. Don't let that be in vain. "

Klaus only laughed softly at his threat and leaned against the railing with his forearms now. "That was exactly your mistake."

He could see Elijah's glance in his direction, but he deliberately ignored him.

“When you sent this woman down there away, part of you went with her and don't dare to say that is a lie. Admittedly, maybe she was safer without you, without the knowledge of this world, but she was part of this family. And so far we have sacrificed everything for this family, everything for our Always and Forever.”

Klaus could see how his words seemed to move something in his brother. In the end, however, they only ensured that he decidedly pushed himself off the railing.

"I'm waiting for you by the car, brother."

The blonde derisively snorted as he watched from the corner of his eye how his brother was about to leave. No, he wouldn't allow that. He still had an ace up his sleeve.

"She is one of us now."

A confident smile crept onto Klaus' full lips when he saw from the corner of his eye how his brother stopped abruptly.

“Strangers rushing past, just tryna get home. You were the only save haven that I've known. Hits me at full speed, feel like I can't breath. And nobody knows this pain inside me, my world is trembling. I should've never let you go. "

Simultaneously with her voice, a small choir began to sing in the background, which caught Elijah's attention for a split second before his eyes went back to his brother, whose corner of his mouth had only risen more. He slowly climbed the stairs again until he was in the same place as before.

"I mean, of course she still can't remember anything. She was compelled by an original,” Klaus added quickly, but now he had the undivided attention of his brother, he was sure of that.

Elijah did the same now and supported himself with his forearms on the railing, watching Y/N closely.

"How ?" Was the only thing he asked.

"Your loved one ended up in Mystic Falls some time ago."

Elijah thoughtfully narrowed his eyes. The compelling really hadn't worked as well as it was had been supposed to. He didn't know if that should scare and please him. Y/N had loved him so much that her subconscious had fought it - and a small part seemed to have won the fight.

,,What happened ?"

Klaus cocked his head a little and let his eyes slide over the small gospel choir. “A certain Julian has contested the city from our dear Salvatore brothers. And your loved one didn't think it was necessary to observe a dozen warning signs and twenty thousand barrier tapes.”

Devotedly, Elijah closed his eyes and just listened to her voice for a moment.

"Fortunately, I still have friends in Mystic Falls."

Elijah glanced half-closed at his brother. "Let me guess: Caroline Forbes?"

Klaus' smug grin was enough for his brother as an answer, so that he ran his hand over his face.

Klaus shrugged. "Hayley made sure that her school got a substantial contribution."

Elijah thoughtfully chewed on his lower lip. Y/N's voice and those of the gospel choir still echoed through the corridors of the station and clouded his mind a little. But that she was now one of them did not change the fact that she would always be in danger as long as she was by his side. Loving any of them was a death sentence, Elijah knew this from personal experience. He couldn't risk her life again, not again. The pain was severe, but he could stand it as long as he knew she was out there somewhere, alive and well and not dead because of him.

"Our sister also told me about the dreams."

Elijah listened to his brother but didn't look at him as he said it. Rebekah had apparently chatted out of the sewing box, wonderful. He briefly winced when he felt his brother's hand on his shoulder.

“You are Elijah Mikaelson. The noble, selfless and honorable one of us. Rebekah once said something that manifested in my memory throughout the years that I succumbed to the agony of the dagger. He dedicates himself to everyone, but himself. Be selfish for once, brother. Do what is right for you. But I want you to know one thing: if you go down there, she is going to be a part of this family. A part of our Always and Forever. And none of us will ever let anyone harm her. ”

Elijah looked his brother in the eye and there he could see the truth in his words. Klaus nodded one last time until he disappeared.

“Standing on the platform, watching you go. You said 'I wanna see the world' and I said ... go. "

Y/N had just played the last notes when the applause broke out. Slowly, she opened her eyes and brushed a few tears from the corners of them. She didn't know how or why, but this very song always made her feel something. It was like memorabilia from another life pattering down onto her. But no pictures, feelings. She could feel the pain as if she had experienced it herself. She could feel the disappointment as if she had experienced it herself. And she could feel this strong love as if she had experienced it herself. These feelings had grown stronger after her transition and yet could not be assigned. It was like missing the one important piece of the puzzle that would complete the picture.

"Thanks," she said instead, forcing herself to smile as people continued to applaud. ,,Thank you."

She briefly chatted with the gospel choir who had approached her before the song and asked to be allowed to accompany her, and thanked them as the crowd around them slowly dissolved. People started to head back to their daily plans.

By the time she finished talking to the choir, nobody stood around her to watch her. She sighed and instead started to take the sheet music of the last song from the filing and sort it.

But this one, little breeze made her pause.

She was in a subway station. There were no breezes down here.

She looked up, confused. But before she could look around, she noticed her mason jar, which was in its usual place and filled with some pennies, with the only difference that it now contained a $ 50 bill.

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion and she felt like she was having a deja-vu. She questioningly looked up and around for the one who would give her so much money.

And then she spotted him.

He was standing a few meters away from her, people just ran past him. And he just looked at her.

And when she looked at him, she knew it again. She knew everything again. She felt the pain and the disappointment and the love again. And she suddenly knew what the missing piece of the puzzle was all about.

He was standing straight, but he looked uncertain, almost hesitant. Especially when he noticed that she had spotted him. He shifted his weight restlessly from one leg to the other and swallowed.

Y/N could just look at him for a moment, she couldn't do anything else. Absentmindedly, she put the stack of music sheets to the side without taking her eyes off him.

And then her legs went back to work, taking slow steps towards him. Until she was right in front of him.

She eyed Elijah closely, just as he did to her. Her heart was pounding when all these memories finally became clear and the fog in her head slowly cleared and disappeared.

She lovingly looked at him, felt the urge to touch the now longer hair, but held back. She could hardly describe the relief she was experiencing. But then another feeling came up, which prevailed for a brief moment.

She swung out and a second later Elijah's cheek was adorned with a red handprint. Perplexed, his head had fallen to one side and he blinked several times in surprise at the strength of the single slap in the face. He tensed his jaw muscles to suppress the uncomfortable tingling and burning sensation and rubbed his dry lips. He slowly looked at her.

"Don’t you ever do that again," she irritably hissed and Elijah inhaled sharply. To be honest, her action shouldn't surprise him either. Her temperament had always been unpredictable.

He just looked at her. He didn't really know what to say to the slap in the face. But he could see her facial features softening and the suppressed tears still squeezing into the corners of her eyes.

"Okay, I can be angry with you afterwards."

At the same moment she pulled him down and pressed her lips to his.

The feeling was intoxicating, Elijah couldn't deny that. He immediately closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing her so tightly to him that no sheet of paper would fit between the two. He could taste her tears on his lips and for a moment he wasn't sure if it was his own little one that had escaped one of his eyes.

He could feel her arms wrapped around his neck and her fingertips buried in the short hair there. Y/N's lips felt so soft and good that he prayed that this moment would never be over. He just wanted to stand there and hold and feel and taste her. He didn't want to let her go.

It was hard to tell what was missing until you found it. It had been that way so many years ago, and the last five years she hadn't been with him had been hell for him. He didn't like to admit it, but Niklaus had been right. A part of him had boarded this train with her back then; his heart.

Breathless, she pulled away from him and pressed her forehead against his. He gently ran his thumb along her cheek, brushing away the traces of tears. He could feel her breath on his skin and he looked at her lovingly.

"Never go away again."

Elijah nodded as she tightened her arms around his neck and buried her face in it. He closed his eyes and hugged her even tighter. “I promise."

Elijah didn't see his brother, didn't know he was watching them.

Klaus stood a little apart, out of his brother's line of sight, and smiled contentedly - one of the few honest smiles known from the hybrid. "Always and forever, brother," he said softly. "Always and forever."

[myupostsheadcanons]

Books “Read” in 2020

Previous entries: 2019, 2018, 2017

I don’t rank these based on actual literary quality, but by how much i enjoyed reading/listening to them. Hopefully with Audible’s new “Premium Included” feature it would cut down on so many Average/Below Average books next year, it’ll give me more of a choice on what kind of books/podcasts i want to listen to rather than given a handful to pick from a month.

The “Top 10″

Forging Hephaestus / Bones of the Past: Villains' Code Series - Drew Hayes has became one of my fav authors over the past couple years, from his Vampire Accountant series, 5-min Sherlock, and his Spells, Swords, and Stealth books. FH is one of the few times he wrote Adult Fiction. This is the second time Drew created a world of super heroes (the YA Superpowereds), thus previous experience in dealing with the nuisances and meta of super meta dynamics. I love the main character, Tori, and especially love many of the side characters (like Ivan) and the comedy is the right tone of dark and not-in-your-face (not quite as well -written as something like The Venture Bros or The Tick, but being adult fiction you can get away with having characters named Johnny Three-Dicks and Captain Bullshit)

Dreadnought / Sovereign - the second super hero series I’ve placed on my top list this year, this one is Young Adult. This one is far more serious and deals heavily in issues like trans and women’s rights, mental abuse, and social acceptance. The main character is full of angst, but that should be a given for a 15 yo with lots of mental baggage and new social pressures. The main character is the main draw, most of the side characters are a bit more one-dimensional.

The Trouble with Peace: Age of Madness, Book 2. It isn’t a “First Law” book if you don’t want to strangle half of the main characters. Many are stepping outside of the shadow of the previous generation and finding themselves falling flat on their faces. If they aren’t at each other’s throats, they would soon have to deal with rebellion in the streets and the constant looming presence of Bayaz, who waits to sweep the board clear and rearrange the pieces the way he sees fit.

Michael J. Sullivan’s: The Riyria and Legend of the First Empire Books.

Riyria Revelations: Theft of Swords / Rise of Empire / Heir of Novron

Riyria Chronicles: The Crown Tower / The Rose and Thorn / The Death of Dulgath

Age of Death / Age of Empyre, Pile of Bones

After finishing the Legend of the First Empire books that came out earlier this year, I went ahead and read the prior series that takes place in the same world. I would suggest reading the entire series by Publish order, but they can be read Chronologically. I read the Legends books first, and it helped me see where Sullivan was heading and when he started to plan out the Legends books in more detail. (The early cameo of the Main characters from Legends in a mural in Heir of Novron, and knowing who is behind the events in Dulgath)

The Dresden Files: Peace Talks / Battle Grounds - They really should be read as one book, because that was how they were written. It is a Feast of Crows / Dances with Dragons situation, where the book got too long and got split up. The fans are pretty divided by the book(s) ending and how some of the main characters are handled, but these are Jim Butcher’s characters not theirs and he can drop bridges on whom ever he wants.

What Lies Beyond: Cycle of Galand, Book 6 - This is a “mythology” book (like Sullivan’s Age of Death was) where it introduces most of the Pantheon of their religion and corrects much of the mythology that had been lost over the decades. They seek a weapon to vanquish the Litch and save their world and the afterlife from oblivion, but not all of their Gods are happy about it.

Will Destroy the Galaxy for Cash - Yahtzee (Zero Punctuation!) has to be one of my favorite internet personalities for the past 10+ years, and I eat up every book he puts out and because he wrote the books, and is an actor himself, he could deliver the lines as they are intended to be. The sequel to Will Save the Galaxy for Food does not disappoint and even ups the stakes from the previous book.

The Girl Who Drank the Moon - This has to be one of the most charming books I’ve read. It is magic and wonder at it’s finest, no need for long explanations on how the world works. If you like Ghibli movies, you’ll be interested in this book. It has its dark moments but isn’t outside of what you’ll find in something like Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, and Nausicca.

The Goblin Emperor - the youngest son of the Elf King finds himself emperor after the death of his father and brothers in an assassination. The only problem is, that he is only half-elf... his late mother was a Goblin, and he had been in exile as an embarrassment to the family for most of his life. He knows nothing of how the courts work and what’s left of his own family work against him just for being who he is.

Lost Gods: Brom - I liked this book more than I did American Gods (which I read a few years ago). It is darker and bleaker by the bucket loads. One of the few books with a downer ending that I actually liked. I would compare this book to books like All the Pretty Horses and No Country for Old Men-- but it is a Fantasy!

Above Average.

Siege Tactics (Spells, Swords, & Stealth. Book 4)  - What happens to adventurers after they retire? A fun concept that is explored with our party of NPCs running across a town full of epic-level characters that no longer have a player.

The Arthurian Saga - The Crystal Cave / The Hollow Hills  / The Last Enchantment / The Wicked Day - A more realistic version of the Arthurian tales, taking the POV of Merlin, bastard son of a princess, as he earns notoriety as a scholar and wizard.  The Wicked Day takes the POV of Mordred, making him far more sympathetic than other iterations of his character.

Arc of a Scythe - Scythe / Thunderhead / The Toll - Science and Technology eliminates death and in order to prevent over population and complacency an order of grim reapers are chosen to randomly deal out quotas of permanent deaths. An example of what happens when every need and want is satisfied by a higher force and the apathy that causes rot in human society and the superiority complex of those in charge of life and death.

The Diviners / Lair of Dreams / Before the Devil Breaks You / The King of Crows - Horror during the Roaring 20′s. Tackles issues as Racism, Poverty, Government Secrecy, Christian-Evangelical Cults, Nationalism Cult Mentality, Communism, Labor Unions, Eugenics, Post-WW1 trauma... It could almost pass as an adult fiction book. I wouldn’t recommend giving it to someone under High school age.

Ancillary Justice / Ancillary Sword / Ancillary Mercy - Artificial Intelligence takes over human bodies as a form of capital punishment, controlling ships and space stations. The dominate human empire outgrew the need to label any gender, using “she” to refer to everyone rather than the vaguer “them/they” pronouns, and only outlying colonies stick to the binary ideals. Think of “The Left Hand of Darkness” but on a more broader scale and as the default majority/ruling empire. Toss in a solid military action novel on top and it isn’t nearly as boring as Left Hand.

Children of Time / Children of Ruin - War destroys the human population of Earth and those that remain are the ones that headed out to the stars on tera-forming missions. A virus created to advance life forms to prepare a world for human habitation runs amuck with out its overseers, creating intelligent arachnids, crustaceans, and squid.

The Licanius Trilogy - The Shadow of What Was Lost / An Echo of Things to Come / The Light of all that Falls -  It is very heavy on info overload, there is a lot to keep track of, so much so there is a summary of book one and two at the start of the third. I like the twist at the end of the first book and that the villain is actually trying to help save the world, and you spend most of the second stuck between who thinks they are doing the right thing and who is actually doing the right thing - a lot to talk about doing the lesser of two evils.

Mythos - Steven Fry - A humorous retelling of Greek mythology. I read Mythology - by Edith Hamilton prior to this book, which is a more scholarly take on the myths, and helps if you are unfamiliar with classical mythology prior to reading Fry’s take on it.

Iron, Fire and Ice: The Real History That Inspired Game of Thrones - a nice history book about Iron Age royalty. It is actually refreshing to read after going through so much faux fiction that is in Philippa Gregory’s books.

Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? - Children ask questions to a Mortician about death and what happens to bodies after people die. I listened to her autobiography last year/year before and it is worth picking up this one along with it.

Average, but still good.

Jack Campbell’s Lost Fleet Universe: Triumphant (Genesis Fleet, Book 3) / Tarnished Knight: Lost Stars, book 1 - The realistic space battles just drag me back in each and every time.

The Case of the Damaged Detective: 5-Minute Sherlock - Drew Hayes can’t write a boring book. It isn’t quite on point as his other series, but still fun to read. Hayes is really good at making YA books with Adult Protagonists. It is a road-trip book, the main character is a washed-out operative that is getting his second chance playing bodyguard and future assistant to the 5-minute Sherlock.

Locked In / Head On - Do you remember “Surrogates”? that Bruce Willis movie where people walk around in robotic avatars, well... it’s almost the same thing. A virus kills millions, save for a select few that experience “lock in” syndrome and are able to connect to robots via their brains and the internet.  The main character is gender neutral and you get a choice to listen to the book with a male or female reader.

Murder by Other Means: The Dispatcher Book 2 - more John Scalzi! The first book was in my top list a few years ago, and i enjoyed the sequel just as much. Between Scalzi’s The Dispatcher and Locked In series, i like the Dispatcher more.

The Shattered Sea Trilogy: Half a King / Half the World / Half a War - Joe Abercrombie’s attempt to make Young Adult books. It keeps all the grim dark, but lacks all the swearing and humor that made The First Law books more enjoyable. Many of Joe’s favorite character tropes are still present and is one of the better “Fall to Darkness” stories I’ve read. It also has different POV characters each book and is one of those “faux fantasy” settings.

Mage Errant: Books 1, 2 & A Traitor in Skyhold: Book 3 - If you are wanting to get away from Harry Potter, pick up this book series. It takes place in magic school, but it is its own world and setting and not just a hidden world within our own. The main group of kids are misfits among the school, unable to master their powers, that get taken up by the badass librarian to be trained in more unconventional ways.

Dawn of Wonder: The Wakening Book 1 - the main character has ptsd from growing up in an abusive household, and i thought it was handled rather well. He would be rather competent and cleaver most of the time until he gets triggered into an episode, he fights really hard to overcome this short-falling of his. Standard classic affair else wise, family leaves home because the local authority figure doesn’t want them around anymore, goes to big city, kid wants to do good and avenge the deaths he was accused of, joins the badass school of hard knocks...  big powerful evil thing trying to consume the world.

The Rage of Dragons - It shares a lot of tropes and story points with Red Rising... just in a fantasy setting, not in space. If you are wanting fantasy with POC main characters and a non-European-centric culture, that doesn’t pull any punches, give it a shot.

Earthsea - Tehanu and Tales from Earthsea - I had read the first three books several years back, and i did re-read them in order to refresh myself prior to reading the final two.

The Secret Garden - I absolutely loved the movie from the 90′s as a kid, and finally got around to listening to the book.

Six of Crows - A heist book in fantasy world with the magic users being heavily “Jewish / Slavic” coded by how they are treated and persecuted. I might have thought more favorably about the book if i hadn’t read other books with “street rat slum” main characters. (Seriously, after spending six books with Royce in Riyria someone like Kas is just second bananas)

Unconventional Heroes / Two Necromancers - Comedic Fantasy, the humor’s not on par with say MogWorld, and has more jokes than Fred The Vampire Accountant. It is still a parody of villains and heroes in fantasy worlds. I would find it safe for a 12/13yo to read, cursing and all, though they might not be aware of many of the tropes that are being deconstructed. The reader of the book did better in this one then he did with Six of Crows and Beezer, still the audio needed some editing because it repeats itself a few times.

Once More Upon A Time (Free Audio Book)  - I don’t always care to read romance stories. I like the idea behind it however, to trade their love for each other in order to save their partner’s life, then learn to re-love one another again.

Monster Hunter International - If you think Dresden is too liberal, this takes a hard turn to the right.. replace the magic with GUNS, lots and lots of GUNS. An organization that hates the government but hunts monsters for government bounties. The main cast is multi-ethnic and they do make fun of that at one point. There isn’t a lot of thought into the plot, because action is #1, but it is fun enough to ignore the politicking.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Collection - i bitched about there not being an omnibus last year, and then Audible uploaded one. The ending is still one big clusterfuck.

Stephen King’s Insomnia - this book is the bridge between Steven King’s two universes. It is a sequel to IT and brings up the Darktower often. IT dealt mainly with childhood fears, Insomnia deals with Elderly and feminine fears.

D’Arc / Culdesac: War with No Name - I liked D’Arc more than i did Mort-e, and Culdesac is more on track with Mort-e. The virus that mutated the ants and animals reminded me of the virus from Children of Time/Ruin, even though i read Mort-e first, reading D’Arc after CoT let me notice it.

Michael McDowell’s:  The Amulet / The Elementals / Gilded Needles / Blackwater - From the guy that wrote the screenplay of Beetlejuice, and the pioneer of the Southern Gothic Horror. Gilded Needles is a bit out of place, taking place in 1890′s, and is more of a social horror rather than a super natural horror the other books are.

Gardens of the Moon: The Malazan Book of the Fallen, Book 1 - high fantasy dark fiction. if you really want some CHONKY door stoppers, there’s over 10 of them in this series. Could’ve done less with the manipulative bastard mage that speaks in 3rd person. I had read The Willful Child, an attempted comedy science fiction novel by the same author, and it showed that the author was unfamiliar with that kind of genera and should stick to grim fantasy.

The Knife’s Edge / Citadel of Fire: The Ronin Saga - This is one of those series that I’m always going “oh, that reminds me of [insert another better series]”  At times it reminded me of The Licanius Trilogy, Shades of Magic, Arc of Scythe, Riyria, Korra... It is just shy of being as good as them, and is rather firmly in that Sci-Fi Fantasy Ghetto and has a bit of “anime” feel to it with their magic users having ‘power levels’ and the power creep. 

In Calabria - My only problem with the book is the massive age-gap between the Main character and his love interest. Outside of that, the whole Unicorns in the modern world concept is done very well.

Pout Neuf (Audible Free Book)  - Journalism and romance during WW2. A quick read and the book really shows that research had been done about the setting and time period.

Nut Jobs: Cracking California's Strangest $10 Million Dollar Heist: An Audible Original - Not only does it talk about the heist, it actually touches on the subject of migrant farmers and slave labor, as well as the desertification of the California Valley.

The Science of Sci-Fi: From Warp Speed to Interstellar Travel (Free Audio Book) - a neat little informative podcast if you are looking for an introduction to some of the harder science fiction.

Mythology - by Edith Hamilton - Text book about Greek Mythology. Like “used in schools” text book. It is a good read if you don’t want to go through Ovid, Virgil, Homer, and all the other classical writers on your own.

The Space Race: An Audible Original - America didn’t win the Space Race. Russia did just about everything first. The only thing we did first was put people on the moon. It also goes into detail about how the inventor of the Nazi’s V2 rockets became employed with the US Space program. As well as the government’s announcement to let space travel become privatized.

Pale Blue Dot / Cosmos: A Personal Voyage - It’s Carl Sagan. Come on! Everyone should be reading them. Pale Blue Dot was being turned into an Audiobook in the 90′s but with Sagan’s death, only the first few chapters were read by him and his partner reads the rest of it (she does a decent job, and i understand why they wanted her to read it, it should’ve been done similarly to Cosmos, with guest readers doing each chapter)

Thicker Than Water (Free Audio Book)  - start up pharmaceutical company scams people out of millions with promises of a miracle machine that was ahead of its time. Story told from the whistleblower himself as he recounts what his job was within the company and how he knew the owner/founder of the company and how coming out about what was going on ruined his relationship with his family and friends.

Don't Panic: Douglas Adams and the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - biography on Douglas Adams and the history behind the creative process behind the Hitchhiker’s Guide series.

The Genius of Birds - It reminded me a lot of “The Soul of an Octopus” in quality. It is rather informative about birds, how they behave, and how we judge intelligence in non-human animals.

It’s “ok.”

Les Miserabes - I can see why people favor movies and theater versions because of how dense the book is, getting the cliff notes version of the book instead of reading several chapters about the Battle of Waterloo. 

Viva Durant and the Secret of the Silver Buttons (Audible Free Book) - It’s cute, and I spent the next several weeks humming that freaking song.

Challenger Deep - A book about mental illness by the same person that brought us The Arc of a Scythe series. It isn’t a bad read, but if you are prone to get panic attacks and have mental illness yourself, you might get too into it and make you uneasy. It can help with neurotypical people with understanding how some illnesses work.

Into the Wilds (Warriors, Book 1)  - Ah, the cat book. It is prob because there are soooo many books in this series that it over-saturates the kids impressionable minds.

House of Teeth (Audible Free Book)  - I read this book prior to Monster Hunter International, and thinking back on this one, i am reminded about the other. Save for this one is PG. So... the kid friendly version.

The Martian Chronicles - Space Horror, on Mars. If you like old science fiction, like Classic Trek, Wells, or Forbidden Planet stuff. There is a lot of zerust.

Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection - The third superhero series I’ve read this past year. It is not as ground breaking nor subversive as Villain’s Code or Dreadnought. The humor is a bit too forced and parts of it falls into “we can be more offensive because it is an adult book” category.

Interview with the Robot - Don’t really care for books or programs that are set up in the “interview” format where it is two people talking to one another. (I have no fucking idea how this book got top Kids book of the year on Audible, it is more of a YA book... it must been because it was Free and lots of people picked it because the rest of the choices that month were complete garbage)

Micromegas - perhaps one of the oldest examples of Speculative Science Fiction. Written by Voltaire, it is about a giant from another solar system that is so big that humans and life on Earth are microscopic. “what value are the lives of ants to a man?”

The Three Musketeers - i had forgotten how much espionage there was in this book. I would say this is a good companion book to Don Quixote, as it takes its fair share of inspiration from and even name-drops the character a couple times. 

Charles Dickens: Oliver Twist / David Copperfield / A Tale of Two Cities - DC is the standout IMO among the three, it is Dickens’ Magnum Opus. Les Mis did a far better job with the Revolution than Tale did as well. I felt rather obligated to reading these books because of the subplot in the Age of Madness books being about Poverty during the Industrial Revolution and Workers Revolts against the Ruling Class.

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea - the version i listened too made most of the Americans sound like GWB... which is funny because one of them is Canadian, and the Comic Relief character about how boorish Americans are.

Stuck (Free Audio Book) -  it is a neat idea, getting jarred free of time but everybody else isn’t and doesn’t remember. It gets a little heavy for a kids book near the end, edging into YA territory as the character gets older mentally and the people around him age physically.

Phreaks (Free Audio Book) - i knew a lot about Captain Crunch and other phone hackers of the 60′s. There is a subplot of the big radioactive corporation covering up causing cancer to their workers, and the father (voiced by Christian Slater) being in the closet but still homophobic about it.

Silverswift (Free Audio Book) - If you like fairy tales set in modern times, it is worth a look. It is similar to In Calabira in that way. The mom being the nonbeliever and thinking grandma is off her rocker, but the granddaughter knows it in her bones that grandma is telling the truth.

Sleeping Giants - alien mechs from the distant past, once mistaken as the titans and gods form mythology, now being studied and experimented on by the government. This is another “interview style” story telling.

Celtic Mythology: Tales of Gods, Goddesses, and Heroes - there is a lot of names and stories, it is worth prob getting a physical copy of the book to keep things straight and to use as a reference.

How to Defeat a Demon King in Ten Easy Steps - A love letter to The Legend of Zelda’s Ocarina of Time and other RPG games.

Casino Royal: James Bond - the movie was rather faithful, including the part of being tied to a chair. I do wish they kept more of the book’s ending where Bond was ready to retire prior to his secret-spy love interest gets killed.

Aliens: Bug Hunt - a compilation of Alien stores about people landing on various planets and encountering aliens, not always the Xenomorphs we know, but the term “Bug” came synonymous to any dangerous alien lifeforms encountered.

Macbeth: A Novel - retelling the story of Macbeth but in a novel form. If you can’t get past the language of the original play, this would help. It sets it more firmly in historical fiction.

Hannibal: A Novel -  I went ahead and re watched the tv show after finishing the book. I’ve seen the movie a dozen times, and i understand why they changed the ending to the movie. The book is the main one that characterizes Hannibal and the show uses a lot of the plot. Hannibal Rising wasn’t really needed because Hannibal (in this book) does think/talk about what happened to his sister and home, and i can see why Harris didn’t want to write that book either. The audiobook is rather poor quality, they talked too fast in places and i don’t really care for their acting...

The Power of Six - I read I am Number 4 several years back and this one popped up on sale so i nabbed it. I like Neil Kaplan, and i think this one is better than the first one and actually gets into the meat of the story.

Cut and Run: A Light-Hearted Dark Comedy - body parts harvesting.... mmmm.

Calypso - non-Fiction, biography of the author. Talks about his family, his life with his partner, and what he does. Much of it is charming and it is read by the author. this was prior to him loosing his marbles about retail workers and becoming a karen.

Our Harlem: Seven Days of Cooking, Music and Soul at the Red Rooster - the history of Harlem and the Harlem Renaissance. I didn’t mind this podcast so much because i was reading The Diviners during the same time.

Malcolm and Me - another biographical book. one of the free books i got during Feb’ Black History Month.

History of Bourbon (Free Audio Book) - Informative about the liqueur industry in America.

Junkyard Cats: Shining Smith Book 1 - post apocalyptic action science fiction novel. the moment that guy showed up i was “that’s your bf.” and it was so... the plot wasn’t hard to figure out, it’s all about the action and setting.

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress - One of the better Heinlein books. The man can’t write romance and he is rather big on casual polygamy and open marriages. An anarchist-revolution book written by someone that is more on the Libertarian side of the aisle. Mycroft (the computer) comes off as rather antiquated, an AI that runs on a closed server, communicating through the telephone lines and printed paper, makes me wonder what Heinlein would’ve done if he was told about the internet and Deep Fake tech. (the book takes place in like 2075, but written in 1966)

Caffeine: How Caffeine Created the Modern World - the production of coffee and it’s prevalence around the world.

The Life and Times of Prince Albert - Exactly what it says on the can. *rimshot*

The Real Sherlock: An Audible Original - a biography of Sir. Arthur Conan Doyle.

The Design of Everyday Things - using psychology to improve the design of systems, products, and the modern business model.  It gives proper terminology for several common design features and how to improve on existing structures.

Bottom of the Barrel.

The Pagan World: Ancient Religions before Christianity. I was hoping there would have been something in there about European Religions, there isn’t, and the book was mostly Greek and Roman life styles and how gods are worshiped. It let me know where the word “auger” came from and why it was used in the Licanius Trilogy.

Life Ever After - disjointed at best. a couple that aren’t good for each other spend the next several hundred years in a crappy relationship.

Beyond Strange Lands: An Audible Original - The audio was complete crap on half of the voices. Which is bad because this could’ve been better. It is a Pod Cast Show and the director couldn’t make sure everybody had decent recording equipment and the sound effects often drown out the actors.

Henrietta & Eleanor: A Retelling of Jekyll and Hyde: An Audible Original Drama - They were going for a modern telling, but the language used is archaic. They speak like Dickens characters even though they talk about cellphones and computers.

A Crazy Inheritance: The Ghostsitter book 1 - The concept is there, but it is too nerfed. It was made for the 8-12yo crowd in mind by people that don’t know how to write for children.

Tell Me Lies (Free Audio Book) - It really wants to be smart. Who’s playing who and who is the actual villain of this story? If you want a quick “who done it?” maybe look into it.

Evil Eye (Free on Audible Plus) - told through phone calls between a mother and daughter. The whole genera of evil boyfriends/husbands isn’t really my cup of tea, and the boyfriend’s actor was too fake and the set up to the meat of the story was annoying.

The Half-life of Marie Curie - I didn’t mind learning stuff about Marie Curie... falls squarely in “made for TV lifetime movie” quality though. You should not carry around a vile of uranium where ever you go.

Alone with the Stars - A girl in Florida hears the call for help from Amelia Earhart, but nobody listens to her. Part fiction, part biographical. It would’ve been better as a biography and talking about various conspiracy theories about what happened to her and finding the pieces of the airplane.

Beezer - The son of the Devil learning to become a good person with a found family... however, most of the characters are annoying.

The Year of Magical Thinking (Free Audio Book) - very heavy on the subjects about loss and death.

Complete Garbage.

The Getaway (Free Audio Book) - A man being a POS by stalking and abducting women. It broadcasts just about everything that is going to happen.

Agent 355 (Free Audio Book)  - Do you like “American Mythology?” Like the whole “the founders are the greatest people in the world” kind of vibe? I don’t. I also hate the main character for being one of those “i’m smart, because i read books that women aren’t supposed to” girls when she doesn’t really think for herself at all.

[lovelyirony]

ravenclaw!tony x quidditch player!rhodey (i'm not sure which house)

Tony was never very interested in Quidditch. He was an excellent flyer, that much can be said. But he was more focused on his inventions and making sure that Professor Pierce didn’t find out that he was using the time that he spent lecturing about “the illustrious history of wizards (who were predominantly pureblood)” to do more useful things, like take a nap or invent a quill that could write longer than fifteen minutes. And, you didn’t have to dictate it. 

So Quidditch was rarely his thing, although occasionally he let Sharon drag him down or he went to go see Bruce play. 

This time, it was Ravenclaw against Gryffindor. Bruce had told Tony it would be quite an interesting match because it was a real competition this time, and it’s not like Tony had any homework due. He’d done it all at least a week in advanced. 

So Tony went down to the stands and stood with the rest of the crowd, a hum of excitement buzzing in the air. 

The teams came swirling out of the gates, cheers erupting. But while Tony is cheering and looking for Bruce, someone else catches his eye. 

It’s a very attractive man in red and gold, laughing as Sharon fist-bumps him. He doesn’t know who that is, but he wants to. Suddenly, he’s glad that he’s in the first row. 

The game becomes more interesting. Tony secretly cheers as the guy zooms and scores and people around him groan. 

“Fucking James,” a guy next to him murmurs. 

“Is that the Gryffindor?” Tony asks. 

“Yeah, James Rhodes. A nice guy, absolute beast on the field.” 

“I don’t think I’ve seen him before,” Tony says. 

“That’s because you’re a gigantic nerd who only stays inside during most matches,” Maria hollers. “He goes by Jim and he’s in our Muggle Studies class!” 

“Good to know,” Tony says, looking forward. Pepper rolls her eyes as she finds Tony in the crowd. 

“So, you finally noticed Jim.” 

“Sorry that I was utilizing my time for education instead of ogling someone,” Tony retorts. “My bad.” 

They both turn back to the game. Pepper is surprisingly invested in the game of Quidditch. Her father and mother had met through the sport, both professionally involved. She had surprised both by not entering in to play for Ravenclaw, which they had expected. 

But she cheers loudly as Bruce knocks a bludger directly out of space right into...

James Rhodes. He obviously isn’t expecting it, but it slams into his stomach and he gets knocked off his broom, falling. There are gasps, and Tony can’t bear it. 

He uses a cushioning charm, which could be potentially dangerous seeing as how it was advanced for what he was doing in magic, and he technically wasn’t supposed to know about it. 

James doesn’t know who the hell did the charm, but he grabs his broom and speeds back up. He doesn’t have time, not when the Ravenclaw Seeker is racing towards something that looks suspiciously shiny. 

The Ravenclaw team ends up winning, and James is left to brood as their captain rants about strategy for about the twenty-first-straight-minute. But after the brooding, their captain asks him how he knew about the cushioning charm. 

He blinks. 

“I didn’t.” 

So begins the great question: who did it? 

Pepper knows. So does Bruce. They tease Tony relentlessly about his new crush. 

“Leave it to Tony to put advanced magic as the first move,” Pepper says, reaching delicately across the table to grab a croissant. 

“Shut up,” Tony hisses. “I just...didn’t want him to get hurt. You remember that one kid who’s arm went boneless.” 

“Yeah, that was because of Lockhart, that idiot,” Bruce says, scowling. “I still can’t believe our Defense teacher wanted us to read one of his books. It’s shitty and plagiarized at the same time.” 

Tony laughs. 

“Yeah, you’re right. Luckily, we both bullshitted the essay to prove a point and she didn’t kick our ass.” 

“May’s a scary lady,” Pepper says, shuddering. “I heard she took on a den of vampires all by herself. They called her ‘The Cavalry’.” 

“Well luckily for us, she likes all three of us,” Tony says. “And I need to get to Advanced Arithmancy. I hope I don’t put my wand to my head out of boredom. I’ll see you guys in Muggle Studies!” 

The day goes well, until thirty minutes before Muggle Studies he remembers that they have it with Gryffindor, and this means he will see James Rhodes. 

The Gryffindors are a bunch who tend to not hold too many grudges, although quite a bit of pride was hurt. But they don’t hold it against most of the house and the lesson starts amicably. Their professor then decides they need partnerwork. 

“I’ll be pairing you up with a student from the other house,” Coulson says. “Alright, Pepper Potts with Carol Danvers....” Bruce gets paired with Eddie Brock, who’s been busy writing notes on his arm for a new story, and Tony’s left. 

“Anthony with James.” 

“Tony.” 

“Jim.” 

Coulson rolls his eyes. 

“You two are perfect then. Get to your lesson on researching different innovations, and your presentation will be in fifteen minutes. Two minutes each, be sure to be compelling.” 

Tony is nervous, but he flips through their textbook. Jim is a nice guy to look at. 

"So, you’re Tony?” he asks. 

“You’re...Rhodes?” 

“Call me Jim.” 

“Ah, no. Used to have a neighbor named Jim who tried to kill me when I started making his garden gnomes fly around.” 

“That’s problematic. How old were you?” 

“...seven.” 

“Then what are you gonna call me? Hmm?” 

“Well, I’m not sure, there are lots of possibilities. There’s Jimmy, which is--” 

“No.” 

“Alright, moving on then. Rhodes?” 

“What am I, a butler? Next.” 

“Jim-Jam.” 

“Oh god, that sounds....gross.” 

“Rhodey?” 

“I can....live with that.” 

By the time the conversation is starting to get friendlier, presentations are starting and Tony and newly-named Rhodey realize that they haven’t, in fact, researched any sort of Muggle device, so they will have to bullshit one. 

“Hope you know tech,” Tony mutters, as he stands up. “We researched the computers, which started out technically in the 19th century...” 

“...and now we’re dealing with virtual reality and the revolution of technology in relation to rising prices,” Rhodey finishes. 

“I’m glad you both did thorough research...unlike some of your classmates.” 

(Tony can see the birds that Pepper and Bruce are flipping him, and he nearly laughs out loud as he makes his way to his seat.) 

But Rhodey smiles back at him, and Tony waves. 

When Rhodey comes back to the common room with a tune humming, the whole of the house knows that Rhodey’s feeling something. 

“Who’s the lucky guy?” Carol hollers. 

“What?” Rhodey asks, closing his textbook. 

“Who’s got you dazed and in loooveee?” She sing-songs, tie askew. 

“Nobody,” Rhodey says. “And quit it.” 

“You only hum when you have a crush,” Sharon reminds him. “Remember when you liked Sam?” 

“Please make me forget the humiliation of finding out that he was already dating somebody,” Rhodey says. “And don’t announce this to everyone.” 

But it’s too late, because all of Gryffindor knows and then Carol, Thor, and Sharon make him tell them at midnight. 

“A guy from Muggle Studies,” Rhodey admits. “Name is Tony.” 

Sharon laughs, eyes wide. 

“You mean Tony Stark? My cousin? Oh my god, this is gonna be hilarious.” 

“If you make fun of me I’m going to snipe you,” Rhodey says, flopping onto his back with his pillow. “Now let me sleep.” 

Similarly, Pepper and Bruce have also made fun of Tony. 

“You like him. You gave him a nickname and everything. It took me four months to get one,” Bruce says. “And you gave him one in, like, two seconds. That has to mean true love.” 

“Well sorry I’m not calling someone something as dignified as James or as awful as Jim,” Tony says. “Besides, he’s just cute. I don’t really know anything about him other than he has a nice face and seems nice.” 

“That’s all you need,” Pepper reminds him. “Now come on and try not to look for him when breakfast is.” 

Tony looks for Rhodey. Because of course he does. But Rhodey is looking over his way, and he turns red and waves. Rhodey smiles back, and goes over to talk with him. 

“Oh god,” Tony mutters, trying desperately to swallow the roll he shoved in his mouth quite quickly. He doesn’t manage to and has to spit it into a napkin and face Rhodey, who is laughing a bit. 

“The rolls that bad?” 

“Just a bit on the stale side,” Tony lies. Bruce and Pepper are looking studiously at the bagels that are on their plates, and trying desperately not to belie the laughs they want to belt out. 

“Well just wanted to say hi, wonder what you’re up to. You coming to the next match?” 

“It’s you guys against...Slytherin, right?” 

“Yeah,” Rhodey says. “I’m gonna see if we can kick ass. Natasha’s back with a vengeance.” 

“She tends to like the sharp cuts and daring dives,” Tony says. “Stay steady and don’t chase after her, because she will beat you.” 

“You gonna be there?” 

“Not sure yet,” Tony says, smiling. “Why?” 

“Just thought you’d like to see it,” Rhodey says, shrugging. “I’ll see you soon, okay?” 

“You got it.” 

When Tony turns back to Bruce and Pepper, they look very unimpressed. 

“You need to go to that match,” Bruce says. “And this is coming who only comes for Thor and literally nothing else if I’m not playing.” 

“It’s true,” Pepper says. “Go, and be in the Gryffindor section. I’ll loan you my golden-red scarf.” 

“Why?” 

“Guys like seeing the person they like in their colors,” Pepper says, smiling. “You should invite him to come with you to Hogsmeade. He’d probably indulge your sweet tooth a bit.” 

“That is true,” Bruce says. “Or you guys could watch the new band that is playing at the bar.” 

Tony turns red. 

“I should go, shouldn’t I?” 

“Don’t be an idiot,” Bruce says. “I’ll come with you.” 

Tony starts looking for different Gryffindor scarves to wear, because Pepper’s is too bold. He wants something understated. 

As it turns out, Gryffindor doesn’t do understated. They’re all bold and they all keep asking why he wants it, and he breaks down and says that he’s going for Rhodey, and he wants to fit in. 

Sharon elbows him and gets a sweater. 

“I love this,” Tony gushes. “Thanks for letting me borrow your stuff, Sharon.” 

Carol looks on as he rushes down the hallway. 

“He doesn’t know that’s Rhodey’s, right?” she asks. 

“No, no he does not,” Sharon adds, grinning. “I think our guy might just run into a hoop. Do you think they count in-love players as points?” 

“If we bribe Sam enough,” Carol snickers. “Hope you didn’t just doom us for tomorrow.” 

(She almost did, but Rhodey’s a good player. 

But he does go in for a kiss on his broom, and it makes a lovely picture for the school picture.) 

[tmarauder101]

From one to another (Sometimes one piece is all it takes) ~ Drarry Oneshot

Books have always saved Draco time and time again

HUGE THANKS TO @xx-thedarklord-xx​ for beta-ing <3<3<3<3 

When Draco was younger, he used to read.

Mountains worth of books adorned the Malfoy family library, and Draco sat, reading them for hours and hours on end. 

The house-elves would attempt to retrieve him for food and general health-related things, but he would whine, grabbing books to take with him, no matter how guilty he felt. 

Draco never liked taking books out of the library. He supposed it must be a childish thing, feeling guilty over keeping books with him instead of letting them be with their ‘family’. 

‘But what if they’re being bullied?’

It could just be the aura of the library. With its high ceilings that seemed reachable due to the bookshelves that ran from top to bottom. The windows that never caught the sun’s set or rise, because that would cast shadows and shine annoyingly in your eyes, but yet still managed to catch a warm glow that made the books seem enchanted. The chairs were the most comfortable in the manor, chosen by his mother herself when they had been refurbishing for the first time in generations. 

Draco ran circles around his parents as they personalized the manor to their tastes, giggles filling the household. The kind only an innocent child who hadn’t been touched with the hardships of reality could share, the ones that made even the toughest of adults crack a fond smile. One with warmth.

Yes, the library was Draco’s favorite place in the world. 

Draco read all the books he could—not including the boring music theory books that his private tutor tries to make him read, he hates those—soon he craved more.

All these books- about knowledge and history and theories- were fascinating, no lie! He loves each and every topic, never bored- unless it’s politics because those adults were frustrating! Just have a civil conversation for Merlin's sake, not a civil war!- and bloodlines or arithmetic, but honestly who does enjoy them?

One day, Draco had found a novel. It was his father’s, surprisingly, but he would never tell - or, at least, never tell and live. One about a—really really bad and sappy, ew—romance.

He didn’t like it, the plot was...weird. Why would the girl want a vampire? And there was a werewolf? 

Muggles were odd. 

But Draco was terrified that his father would find out, so he put the book back. 

After that he weaned off muggle fictions, opting for wizard fantasy. Things like Lockhart, because everyone with more than half a brain cell would know those books were obviously fiction. Stories of sappy—and frankly disgusting—love, A.K.A really bad romance novels—emphasis on bad—and honestly terrible mystery novels. 

He hated it.

Wizards are ironically not creative, not one bit. All the great potion masters and spell creators are ones with imagination, but for the average wizard why would they dream? They have magic, and all they want is money, want validation. 

It wasn’t what Draco was looking for. 

Draco yearned for a tale that would make him fall in love once more, having already done so twice (*cough* golden boy *cough*) before. Stories similar, not exactly like that other book, but similar. 

Muggles have such an active imagination, and their writing reflects that with metaphors and extensive vocabulary. They brought their tale to life. Much different than the bland ink on parchment the wizarding world had to offer. 

At least in the Britsh Wizarding World. Other countries are more imaginative, the East for one, with their magic carpets and extensive Divination. But he doubts Father would allow him imported books on ‘studies’, let alone novels. 

Draco wanted something that would make him feel. Make him forget. 

Stories similar to the folktales and legends, but beyond the Wizarding world. Tales to make him lost in them rather in his overactive imagination. 

He wanted something that would break him, make him hurt in all the good ways. Make him cry out internally in frustration and pain for the characters. Ones that would leave wounds and shatter the pieces left, before sticking a flimsy little plaster on it, calling it a day. 

Ones that took him to the far corners of the earth. That had him running and jumping, and diving with the fish in the deep deep sea. Chasing after criminals and crying over those lost as though they were his own. 

And one day he found them. 

~📚*📖*📚~

Honestly, it really hadn’t been his fault. He was so so very bored—he also couldn’t find that book of Father’s again, he suspected it had been burned, good riddance—waiting for mother and father to finish whatever business he pretended to care about and dragged him along for. 

Truly, he hadn’t meant to. Deep down though, he had desired to be back in the library. 

But that girl caught his eye.

Or, more specifically, the book did. 

It was worn down, very obviously one that had been used for years.

Many might believe he would find that revolting. On the contrary, Draco found it rather endearing. 

The girl had long white-blonde hair—rather similar to his actually—and an odd pair of—were those radishes?—earrings. But Draco only had eyes for the torn paperback in her hands. 

“Pardon me, what book is that?” 

She turned, large eyes as blue as the summer sky. They were soft and wise, even though she appeared to be younger than Draco himself. 

“It’s a novel, about a demon and an angel.” Her voice sounded like distant jingle bells on a snowy winter’s night.

“Oh?” he asked, eager and intrigued.

15 minutes later, they left the business party, a list of muggle novels hastily written in curly letters of sparkly mint green ink for Dobby to fetch for him, keeping a bookmark where he last left off in the worn paperback novel hidden on his person. 

~📚*📖*📚~

The leaves bled from green to red as the seasons changed. Leaving behind the warm summer breezes and long days, and replacing them with crisp autumn air and early sunsets. The years went by, times changed rapidly and as did the people. 

Draco losing to everything, to school and everything else that happened in those somewhat hellish seven years.  

But after the war, Draco lost himself, and he needed to ground himself, that little boy in a library crying out after being repressed for so long. 

So, robotically, Draco dug through his closet. In a small box, among his niffler plush—that definitely didn’t have little handmade round glasses, what do you mean?—a handmade badge from fourth year—that made him scoff and shake his head fondly—and other nicknacks from the years, carrying memories new and old, lay his most prized possession—the book that had saved him time and time again. 

Good Omens by Niel Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

But would it save him again? Only time would tell. 

~📚*📖*📚~

Years after the war left him a criminal, Draco Malfoy-Potter is now one of the Wizarding World’s famous fantasy novelists.

Draco found love in the form of one raven haired boy, just a mere 6 months after his first book. 

Not many knew how or why, at least not for a long time. 

Their love could be a story all on its own—now there's an idea.

~FIN~

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics with strong humor and banter in them. Happy reading!

1) Like An Animal (I Want To Feel You From The Inside) | Explicit | 4466 words

Harry and Louis get a little stuck. Literally.

2) Spice Up Your Life | Explicit | 9501 words

After a conversation with his Uni friends, Harry worries that his relationship with Louis has lost it's spark.

3) Maid In The A.M. | Explicit | 9118 words

“You’re not supposed to be here.” The lad frowned at him.

“Sorry,” Harry said automatically. Which, wait. No, that wasn’t right. “Um, actually, I sort of live here?”

Okay, that came out less firm than Harry would like, but it was still true.

The guy rolled his eyes. “Obviously.”

Harry had absolutely no idea what was happening.

4) Keep Holding Me This Way | Explicit | 13747 words

An English grad student, a frat jock, and an unimpressed rich boy walk into a bar. No one walks out.

5) Sweeter Than Wine | Explicit | 15339 words

When Wizard!Louis goes to a muggle club for a change of pace, his one night stand ends up being much more than he bargained for.

6) Friendly Neighborhood Spideypool | Explicit | 18705 words

“Don’t fuck with me, I’m not in the mood.” Louis’ got the urge to punch him in the face, but he knows deep down that if anything it’ll just add fuel to Harry’s innuendo fire.

“You know I only fuck you, not with you. There’s a difference. It’s slight but still there.” He’s joking, but it’s sincere in a way that only Deadpool could make it. It gives Louis a strange mix of emotions, his body doesn’t know whether to fill with butterflies or to knee Deadpool in the balls again for insinuating them fucking.

7) Let Me Make a Thing of Cream and Stars | Explicit | 24914 words

It doesn't explain why he's lying on the floor, with Harry Styles, of all people, planking on top of him.

As in, seventeenth most influential person in London, pop-star-turned-rock-star Harry Styles. The same Harry Styles who has had countless model girlfriends, left, right and centre. Also  the same Harry Styles who has been the subject of Louis' wet dreams since he was about eighteen.

8) A Whole New World | Not Rated | 24967 words

Louis has moved into his new apartment to start his new job as a teacher. Things would be great. If only his arsehole neighbour didn’t wake him up every morning by playing piano.

Shenanigans ensue. Like a very inadvisable kissing bet.  

9) Up To No Good | Explicit | 26525 words | Sequel #1 | Sequel #2

Harry doesn’t think of himself as a womanizer, not at all. Sure, he enjoys sex, enjoys how women feel underneath him, and by some people’s standards he has sex with quite a lot of people, but that’s no reason to tell him that he can’t have a female PA anymore.

It’s especially no excuse for giving him a male PA who’s possibly the most gorgeous boy in the world who won’t even let Harry look at him for too long.

Sometimes Harry hates his life.

10) The Forest For The Trees | Explicit | 28250 words

Louis and Harry had the ultimate roommates and best friends with benefits relationship until Harry suddenly ends the benefits part, shocking and hurting Louis in the process. He’s fallen in love with Harry, but is too scared to tell him the truth because he just does not do first moves. In the spirit of unrequited love and with a little help from Harry’s mother Louis decides to set Harry up with a series of horrible blind dates hoping his roommate will see dating is too much trouble and come back to him. In the end things don’t go as planned and Louis ends up sabotaging the one date he shouldn’t have, and it turns out Harry’s a bit of a sneak too.

11) Always Come Back To You | Explicit | 28862 words

“I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”

Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes, especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.

Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them hilarious when Harry tells her one.

Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.

Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something. Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.

“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.”

12) Have You Coming Back Again | Explicit | 31086 words | Sequel

It’s five o’clock in the morning. Louis has a lecture at half eight. He could be using this time to study or to do his readings or to go to the gym, but - well. He doesn’t have any exams coming up, he’s not going to his seminar today anyway and he hates the gym.

Instead he’s using this time to fuck with Harry Styles’ poor little brain.

Louis jogs across the street and jabs the key into the car door. It opens easily, not that he was expecting anything else. He copied the key for a reason, after all.

He’s got Harry’s schedule memorized, more because the guy keeps following him around than anything, so he doesn’t bother looking around before climbing behind the wheel and setting his bag on the passenger seat. It’s a Monday, which means that Harry doesn’t even get out of bed before noon unless he’s planning on harassing Louis.

13) Blind From This Sweet, Sweet Craving | Explicit | 31170 words

“So, I guess we’ll go?” Louis asks later, when Harry has calmed down and eaten his weight in Chinese food. He plays with this chopsticks, spearing another piece of chicken and pops it in his mouth. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind. We could make it an adventure.”

Harry observes him, watches him seated across from him on their old living room carpet, with a container of food on his lap. He’s fidgeting, avoiding meeting Harry’s gaze–he probably knows that Harry’s mad at him for ruining the one chance they had to get out of this situation. And he’s not wrong, Harry is definitely very mad. Harry wants to strangle him and castrate him and smack him upside the head.

But he’s also Harry’s best friend, and despite everything, despite all the fuck-ups and the plot twists and everything just not playing out the way it should, he’d still rather be stuck in this situation with Louis than any of the other boys. He’s got Harry’s back, and in a weird, abstract way, he knows they’ll be able to get out of this situation, together.

Harry sighs. “We’re going,” he says resignedly, his shoulders slumping.

Oh well. There are definitely worse ways to spend the weekend than pretending to be engaged to his best friend.

14) Mine Now | Explicit | 32254 words

This is the story of how Harry finds himself pouting in Louis’ passenger seat with a raging boner on the way to seduce his ex boyfriend.

15) Cupid’s Chokehold | Explicit | 35326 words

Louis is a Cupid who tries to match up Niall and Harry. It doesn't work out as planned.

16) Is This Seat Taken? | Explicit | 35507 words

Louis makes a bet with Zayn that he can sneak into a music awards event without getting caught, and when he ends up posing as a seat-filling member of staff he runs into superstar Harry Styles and sparks fly.  Que the music.

17) The New Romantics | Explicit | 36100 words

After being blindsided and dumped by his boyfriend Isaac, Louis does the only thing he can do: wallow and mope. But when Harry tells Louis that karma’s going to get Isaac eventually, Louis decides karma isn’t moving fast enough. He takes matters into his own hands, and if he has to drag Harry into his schemes and seduction plans, then so be it.

18) Tangled Up In You | Explicit | 45152 words

Harry blinks once. And blinks again. And says, his voice dangerous: “Niall, did you get me a mail-order bride?”

Because what the actual fuck. It kind of looks like Niall’s just purchased a person. For Harry.

Niall blinks back at him for a few moments, before throwing his head back and howling with laughter. Harry throws a pillow at him. Hard. “No, what the fuck, Harry.”

“A prostitute then?” Harry also doesn’t want a prostitute.

“Of course not!”

“A stripper?”

“No!”

Damn, he’s running out of ideas. He settles for launching another pillow at Niall’s head. Niall bats it away easily, still laughing. “Stop!”

“What did you get me, then?!” Niall must hear the tinge of hysteria in his voice, because he’s pulling himself together, trying to stop himself from laughing.

There’s still a big grin on his face, though, when he says, “I got you a professional cuddler.”

A professional…what. “What?”

19) Don’t Tell the Gods (We Left a Mess) | Explicit | 71556 words

Note: Mention of BH.

After a misunderstanding with Liam’s mother, Louis agrees to accompany his best friend to a family wedding and pretend to be the world’s best boyfriend. But their simple plan goes awry when he learns that Harry, ex-boyfriend/ex-love of Louis’ life, will also be in attendance. (aka: fake!boyfriends with a twist ft. bromance, romance and cake.)

20) Waiting On You | Explicit | 76575 words

“Vampires,” Louis says with disgust, glaring over at the vampire who is noisily slurping from the woman’s neck nearby.

 Zayn gives the neat fang marks on Louis’ neck a meaningful look.

 “Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Louis finishes, ignoring Zayn when he rolls his eyes.

Louis takes a long sip of his milkshake, presses his fingers against the marks on his neck, and definitely doesn’t think about the vampire who left them there.

21) You Drive Me Crazy (But It Feels Alright) | Explicit | 102036 words

“Harry is not short for Harold,” he corrects, his voice as thick as molasses. He lowers his eyes to Louis’ sequined lapels, rubbing one between two fingers. “Is this small or extra small? It looks lovely.”

Louis breaks away from his grip with a petulant huff and pushes him back with two fingers.

“You’re mocking me. Again.”

Harry smiles and it's a real honest swoop of his lips this time. Louis’ stomach swoops with them.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[jamiebluewind]

Bluewind's Massive List Of Fic Recs

Here are some of my favorite fics. Please be mindful of the tags on the fics as I was unable to note them all myself. Let me know if any are abandoned, if a link doesn't work, or if you just want to share a fic I might want to add to my list ^_^

Also, I didn't have time today to add all the Tumblr ones, so click here to see all the fanfiction under my fic rec tag.

Also also, if you get a minute leave a little comment on the fics you enjoy (especially for the AO3 writers who tend to rarely get noticed if at all).

The Hidden Rose by jamiebluewind (wc 10196): Warning! Please read the tags! Roman will be okay. He can handle the self loathing building up inside of him. He can ignore the weight pressing down on his shoulders as he plasters on a convincing fake smile. He can hide his pain from the others. He'll be okay... until he's not.

A Different Side Of Hogwarts by notalwaysthevillian: Four boys travel to a magical school to learn to be wizards. A brave muggleborn, a nervous pureblood who doesn't quite fit in, an intelligent loner with his nose always in a book, and the friendly ball of fluff that keeps them all together. Can they survive their classes and everything that seems to try and pull them apart?

In The Witch's Nest by a_forgotten_note: Virgil is considered bad luck. Nobody wants to adopt him and everybody who does returns him due to the fires that always happen around him. Then one day, two loving men come into his life and show him what he never knew existed. They do their best to teach their new son how to use his magic. One could expect no less from the two Ilvermorny professors.

To Build a Home by AValorousChoice: Nobody ever wanted Virgil. Nobody had ever shown the slightest bit of interest in adopting him. He never believed he was good enough for a loving family. Then one day, Patton and Logan walked into the orphanage and changed everything. (I love this one so much. Angst and fluff and well written)

This Love Hate Relationship by insanelycoolish: Roman has followed The Witching Hour since he was in high school. Last time they were in town, Roman not only got to meet the lead singer of the band, he kissed him as well. The band (Virgil included) is in town once more. Roman drags along his friend Logan for moral support as he tries to find the answer that's been plaguing his mind for a year: Will Virgil remember him and their kiss?

Keep Him Safe by Whatwashernameagain: Warning! Adult content, so please read tags! Officers Logan and Roman are unlikely friends. Roman is a flamboyant flirty rainbow and Logan is... decidedly not that. When their regular stop closes, they decide to try out a new place. The pastry shop is owned by a sweet bubbly man that quickly pulls in all who meet him with his genuine kindness. However, pain can be hidden beneath a smile. Meanwhile, a gang is quickly growing in power. (a mixture of fluff, angst, and dark undertones)

A Lesson in Practicality by ResidentAnchor: Four seemingly random strangers all answer an ad to move into a downtown apartment. After a few month together, they all realize they've been hiding a secret from one another... they each have a unique special ability. Can they keep living their day to day lives in a house full of superpowered humans? Will their powers bring them together or cause a rift between them? And how long until somebody starts running around in tights?

Patmalian by patentpending: Patton loves Logan more than anything. He just doesn’t understand why his friends are lying or why they’re saying there’s something wrong. He’s not obsessed or deluded. He’s just in love. Desperately, terribly, helplessly in love. (will stomp on your heart and you will say thank you)

Out Side Observations: The sides become real. Thomas is left scrambling as he tries to figure out how to handle the situation. The sides are not much better off. (linked to current newest chapter so yall would have the links to all the previous ones)

Illuminated by altruistic-skittles: Most humans are born with a soulmark that glows in the presence of their soulmate. Some are platonic. Some are romantic. Those without one or with a faux one are often treated badly by society. This is the story of a group of men trying to find where they belong.

A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing by I_Live_In_A_Trash_Can: Warning! Dark themes so please check the tags! Three superheroes face off against vilian Nightmare. Patton tries to become friends with a lonely guy named Virgil.

Partial Prints by satan_copilots_my_tardis: Warning! Basically all the warnings so check the tags! Patton is a serial killer who feeds victims to Virgil who is a monster who eats people, Deceit is a demon, Roman is a muse, and Logan is the poor human caught in the middle. (for god sakes read the tags)

An Unconventional FamILY by EmPhoenixCat: Warning! Dark themes so check the tags! Human Logan adopts a vampire (Remy) and a werewolf (Roman). Virgil is a good kid despite being possessed by a morally gray demon.

Another Line That Comes With Age by SmolTownFangirl: Warning! Graphic depiction of violence so please read the tags! Roman takes care of his 3 sisters despite his dad being king of the assholes. Patton and Logan are teachers. Virgil is their son.

We'll Be Together Never (Forever) by Lady_Akuma_Wolf: Warning! Extreme abuse/neglect so please read the tags! Patton befriends a mostly elective mute outcast said to be Soulless. However, Patton believes Virgil's soulmate is just shy (unlike his own dramatic soulmate Roman). Virgil isn't use to kindness especially since his own parents are abusive assholes.

Could You Imagine by FebruaryFun: Imaginations take physical form. Logan is not taking very good care of him imirage Virgil and needs a helping hand.

Blank by Shay_Nioum: Logic is gone. There's only Apathy. The other sides are heartbroken.

A Whole New World by mandeebobandee: Virgil and the others were just watching a movie. Now he's lost in the real world.

Fanged Friend by Demon_Wr1ter: Warning! Graphic violence so please read the tags! Virgil is a vampire with three great roommates. Now all hell is breaking loose and he's scared of killing one of his friends.Fangs by TessaTheDreamer: Warning! Assault so please read the tags! Logan was turned into a vampire. At least he's already a nightowl.

The Seeds We Sow by ResidentAnchor (wc 67435): Warning! Graphic depiction of violence so please read the tags! In one kingdom, magic is embraced. In another, it's outlawed and those with any magic are executed. Prince Logan has to travel to the other kingdom for a meeting.

Even Nobody Has A Tale To Tell by AlliDaMeme: Warning! Abuse so please read the tags! Roman isn't happy with who he's being paired with for a group theatre project. Virgil the dark loner. Patton the boy that always smiled. Logan the nerd who skipped two grades. Dex the dangerous delinquent. What none of them realize is that everybody has a story to tell and not all of them are happy.

Behind the Yellow Door by FangirlOfPower: A story of Deceit's adventures in the Light Sides' version of the Mindscape. He's usually very confused, especially by idioms that are taken literally.

Family Matters by IRegretNothingAndEverything: Warning! Abuse so please check the tags! Virgil runs away from an abusive home only to be scooped up by a strange collection of two adults and the runaways who became their children. Now if he could only save his little brother.

Ceremony of Innocence by Acantha_Echo: Warning! Abuse, violence, and isolation, so please check the tags! Sir Roman is captured by the evil warlock terrorizing the lands. Locked away in a cell with his only company being a kind man in glasses and the handsome servant who brings them food at night, Roman struggles to find a way to protect the kingdom and save the others.

The Witch's Secret by Arcadian_Skye: Roman rushed back to meet with the other sides. He was going to regret fighting the dragon witch with so little time to spare before brainstorming with the others. Pain. Glass breaking. Darkness. Will the injured prince find someone worth fighting for?

Blanketverse by SoDoRoses (FairyChess): Wet Blanket and Life Of The Party: Roman wants to host a party in his realm. Virgil feels like a wet blanket (when he's not worried about having a panic attack). Personal Space: Patton won't go near Logan and Logan worries why.

adventures in gender by riverblujay: Virgil discovers they're nonbinary. They're later joined by Roman resulting in the two bonding.

It's Still a Good Life by IsaacTheGreat69: Logan is in pain after a breakup. Virgil is supportive. (Analogical)

Silk Gloves by Dorktapus42: (more of a jacksepticeye/markiplier egos fic with mentions of Sanders Sides). A hectic day in the life of our favorite silent grayscale boy, Jameson Jackson aka JJ.

Powerless by patentpending (wc 187953): Warning! Graphic depiction of violence and mental abuse so read the tags! Almost everyone in the world has a superpower. The unabled 0.04% are treated as lesser and subjected to bigotry. Virgil has tried to fight back against the system that oppresses people like him, Patton, and Logan. When Patton’s bakery is targeted in a hate crime, he finally snaps. With the help of a mysterious sponsor, Virgil becomes a villain, ready to remake a broken society. The only thing standing in his way is the world’s most powerful superhero: The Prince.

Overworked and Underpaid by IsaacTheGreat69 (wc 7349): Thomas has been really busy and hasn't been seeing his friends. Virgil gets hit hard by the stress.

A Stitch a Day Keeps The Bad Thoughts Away by ShadeCrawler (wc 8407): Virgil has found serenity in knitting. Whenever he knits, he tries to make the other Sides a gift. It never ends well.

Love and Other Fairytales by SoDoRoses (FairyChess): Wickhills is a town that never stays in the same place forever. The people there do there best to keep themselves safe when surrounded by fae and other magical creatures. Not all beings are kind. Not all gifts are wanted. Not all paths are safe.

lavender for luck by lovelylogans (wc 66391): (LAMP) Virgil's uncle castes spells, reads fortunes, and listens to houses talk just like Virgil's father when he was alive. You see, the Fae family is born with both magic... and a curse. Those who fall in love with a Fae and have that love returned all die, so Virgil refuses to ever take that risk.

How not to be an idiot about your feelings by Tiili97 (wc 5475): After staying up for 3 days studying, Virgil convinces Logan to get some sleep. Logan wakes up the next day not remembering that he had randomly kissed his roommate on his way to bed.

The Low Light by a_forgotten_note: Warning! Graphic violence and sexual conduct so please read the tags! Logan is a cold-hearted vampire who runs a funeral home with the help of Patton who takes care of the daytime business. Patton's boyfriend Roman is... there. While out walking the graveyard, he happens upon a boy being stalked by a ghoul. Virgil survives and gets entangled in the world of nether creatures and the sudden influx of vicious ghouls in the small town.

Second Chances by callboxkat: (Sequel/series page) Roman is homeless and just trying to survive. With no room left at the shelter, he was tossed out and left to fend for himself on the streets. A former high school rival offers to help.

The Last Days by EdgyCatSkull (wc 10383): Warning! Major Character Death so please read the tags! Patton, Logan, and Roman have lived in their apartment together for years, along with a fourth reclusive man. While the three grew closer, the other never even told them his name. But one day, the man they had started referring to as simply Anxiety came out of his room and began to bond with the other three men. Maybe there is a reason, but one Virgil would rather leave unspoken. With Roman's play coming up and everybody seeming very happy, it would almost seem like things would finally work out for them... almost.

Of Course by A_Travis: Anxiety existed in a gray area of not good or bad. Just gray. When he lends a hand to the others, he only has one response.

Lovesick by Jackfruit: Roman can smell lovesickness and Logan REAKS. Logicality

Ever After by creativenostalgiastuff: Virgil is death and must guide souls to the afterlife. (very sad)

What? by just-an-anxious-mess: The sides are acting strange

Chemically Imbalanced by NyxWordsmith: Warning! Read the tags! Roman’s first mistake was taking Mr. Sanders History class, expecting an easy ride. His second mistake? Hitting on his son. (very lose adaptation of the sides and so much angst)

Stains of a Soul by sanders-sides-fics: Warning! Abuse so read the tags! Virgil is torn. He loves writing to his soulmates and the marks on his arms from their replies. His parents don't. They called having three soulmates unnatural. He's punished. Insulted. His pens are broken. He just wants to make his parents proud.

Scribbles by SketchyNebula: Virgil watched as the ink appeared on his arm followed by a second and a third. His soulmates. He would never muddy their relationship with his presents, but as he watched the happy colors take up every last inch of blank space on his arms, he couldn’t help but be happy that fate chose him to be lucky enough to witness it. The unfolding of this relationship was going to be something akin to a fairy tale and if that was the only light in his dark existence that fate would grant Virgil, then he would take it without regret.

Silence and Duality by xaandiir: Warning! Read tags! Children make mistakes and the Sides were no exception. When Thomas was young, they locked up the one who was hurting him. They thought they were only protecting Thomas. Now that Fear is out, they have to face he consequences of their decision.

On Impossibility by theotherella: Student body president Logan is in a precarious balance of power. In order to save the football team, he was forced to cut the unsusessful theater program. Roman hates him for it. Virgil isn't too happy either. Logan is fine.

A Virgil Affliction by creativenostalgiastuff: Warning! Read tags! Thomas has high anxiety over his friends moving. Virgil becomes overwhelmed with all of the changes in Thomas’ life. He struggle to cope and starts taking it out on everyone and everything. What will help them get through this tough time?

Innerworks by Prplzorua: Warning! Author may not be able to finish! Because of an "Incident" Anxiety falls ill, Thomas won't speak, Logic is mad, Morality is just trying to be a good dad (they tell the best jokes) and Prince is trying to figure out what in the world is going on.

Inks and Tallies by Skittlesun: Roman has an odd tattoo client asking for tally marks

Sleeping on Secrets by novusavis: Virgil is worried his curls will make the other sides not take him seriously, so he tries to hide them

Splat! by Listless_Songbird: Patton hears a curious noise coming from Roman’s room and peeks in to investigate

Mimicry by On_Sonnshine: Warning! Dark themes and violence so read tags! Virgil looks broken as he confesses something terrible that happened. Roman sees red.

Patton Will Fight You by RLCinderella: Virgil talks bad about himself. Patton did warn him. (Pure fluff)

Wynken, Blynken and Dad by SilversEdge: Virgil is having trouble falling asleep, so Patton decides to help (Pure fluff)

Neuro Logical by musicmuse0609: After being insulted by Roman, Logan decides to do some research to figure out why he's so different. Discovering the reason only seems to cause him more stress than before.

Love hurts by TheGhostOfBenjamin: Warning! No comfort so read tags! A merman falls in love with a human. One needs air, the other doesn't. How far will he go to get to his loved one?

Everyone can leave by Vampirtulpe: Warning! No comfort so check the tags! The sides and Thomas have been stuck on an imaginary island for months. Roman is convinced that he will find the exit, but what if everybody doesn't want to leave?

Must Be Dreaming by rosesandstuff: Remy loves kissing his boyfriend, Roman. However, when it’s obvious there’s something much weighing on Roman’s mind, Remy stops so they can talk.

Unspoken by IronWoman359: Warning! Read tags! Virgil stomps off in a downpour after he and Logan have a fight. When tragedy strikes, will Logan get the chance to make amends.

Noose - Oneshot by imthederpyfox: Virgil walks into the woods with a rope and a piece of paper. A noise in the distance startles him.

Love at firtht thight by shiverfawkes: (analogical) Virgil is use to not being taken seriously. He has a strong lisp which causes "s" to sound like "th". Then he meets a boy at his new school who changes that.

Silence Is Your Loudest Scream (I Don't Know Why You're Hiding) by maxiswriting: Roman is an actor. He can hide the truth behind a wall of convincing lies. The dark thoughts aren't there. He's fine and happy for the others. Everything's fine. (LAMP)

Lessons by DemonicPresence (wc 2732): Roman loves guitar. Logan doesn't understand why.

High Five by periwren: Virgil is a shy lonely school kid that always gets picked on. His classmates have made it a new game to jump scare him and eventually it all ends in tears.

Cat's out of the Bag by YouDontKnowMeIDontKnowYou (wc 2262): After wandering into the imagination to find Roman, Virgil turns into a cat. He's not happy about it. Hilarity ensues.

Nail Polish and Princes by novusavis (wc 3207): Virgil has trouble with his hands shaking. It makes it impossible to cleanly paint his nail, so he decides to ask Roman for help.

The Kind of Pain That Doesn't Hurt by warcatscat: Warning! Read tags! Roman has bad habits. He knows that. He knows they're not good for coping. But when everything else is so deeply overwhelming, what else can he really return to besides old habits. They die hard, right?

The Betting Pool by Skittlesun: Drama teacher Roman Hart and music teacher Virgil Knight have this little game they like to play. The objective? Make the other blush first. Place your bets!

Did You Lock The Door? by periwren: Warning! Sexual situations so read tags!Patton and Deceit just want to fool around without the other finding out, but the other sides keep spoiling their fun. Hilarity ensues.

The Smell Of Leather Jackets And Alcohol by Sp00nhater: Warning! Extreme child abuse so please read the tags! Virgil and Roman are very different. Roman is popular and loud. Virgil is a quiet loner that's feared. A class protect forces them to work together and brings some dark truths to the surface.

It's Only Logical by TSTrashCaptain: Warning! Sexual conduct and past abuse so read the tags! When Logan (a florist with a PhD in botany), decides to hire someone to work the counter in his flower shop, he assumed it would be no big deal. His life would continue to be calm and as predictable as Roman unsuccessfully flirting with the emo owner of his favorite coffee shop. He could never have expected what a disruption one single Dad could make to his neatly ordered life.