#Building Confidence

[milkoomi]

⋆˚࿔ a new canvas means a new you 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

a mini series on the art of becoming a better you

previous chapter

chapter two — THE ART OF SELF CONFIDENCE

i’ve touched on this topic before, but i wanted to do more of an in-depth deep dive into it! self confidence isn’t just about how you feel about your physical self, but it’s also about how you feel about your mental and emotional self; how you feel about your soul and the aura that surrounds you. self confidence can start at your physical self, like your looks, your style, etc. but reaching a true, deeper meaning of having confidence you have to dig deeper into your mind, heart, and soul.

references on self confidence:

“a guide to building confidence” - by me!

“study yourself to become confident” - thewizardliz

“the ultimate guide to becoming confident” - alessya farrugia

“rewiring your subconscious: guide to becoming your dreamiest self” - @glowettee

“building confidence” - @goddessinnerglow

ᥫ᭡. different types of confidence

in alessya farrguia’s youtube video, she discusses the 3 different types of self confidence: physical, social, and authentic confidence. i highly recommend watching her video! she makes really phenomenal points in her discussion!

i’d like to highlight some key points she made in her video:

physical confidence: “stop comparing your behind the scenes to everyone else’s highlights.”

social confidence: “confidence isn’t thinking ‘i know someone will like me’, it’s ‘i know it won’t bother me if they don’t’.”

authentic confidence: “true confidence means trusting yourself”

but i’d like to add mental & emotional confidence. the mentality that you have and how you feel about yourself plays a huge role in self confidence. having a mindset that makes you feel secure and having emotions toward yourself that are positive will help you become more confident. it also helps, immensely, to be in a headspace that makes you feel comfortable being you, that brings you joy, and that brings you peace. being able to have a good relationship with your own emotions can uplift you!

mental confidence:

destress & decompress — when your mind is weighed down by stress, you start to feel overwhelmed. that overwhelming feeling can cause your mind to break down and make you think that you won’t be capable of recovering from that stress. it’s important to manage your stress and remind yourself that you are capable of overcoming anything that’s causing you those feelings! stress is one of those things that make you feel like everything is impossible, but that’s only a feeling. it’s like having a bad dream, while you’re experiencing that dream it might feel too real and sometimes it may even be scary, but then you wake up and you realize that you’re safe. think of stress as just a bad dream, the feeling is only ever temporary and as soon as you manage it/overcome it you’ll be safe again. and, as a bonus, once you overcome that stress, you feel more secure within yourself and you’re reminded that, yes, everything is going to be okay and you are more than capable of overcoming those feelings!

practice mindfulness within yourself — “mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgement.” with that being said, practice paying attention to yourself without any judgement. focus on how you’re feeling, what your current thoughts are; focus on you without judging yourself. learn to accept yourself as you are within that present moment and try to steer away from making quick, negative judgements about yourself. yes, you can judge yourself, but do so in a way that’s productive! judge your mental and emotional state, are you in a headspace that is ideal to you? judge your health, do you feel like there needs to be any changes in your lifestyle, diet, or activity level to better your body in a healthy manner? judge yourself, is there anything about yourself that you still need to work on or are there characteristics of yourself that you take pride in?

emotional confidence:

emotional intelligence — this is key to gaining emotional confidence. i recommend this video by The Glow Up Secrets Podcast on youtube! the host brings up so many wonderful and insightful points on becoming emotionally intelligent! being able to self-regulate and to understand exactly what you’re feeling can help you gain confidence in yourself. people will always pride themselves in their intelligence, so let being emotionally intelligent be the intelligence you pride yourself in!

ᥫ᭡. self-acceptance

people have this idea that self-acceptance is just settling for who you are, and well, that’s not really the case— at least in my eyes. learning to accept yourself as you are now will make it easier for you in your self improvement journey. we all want to become the “it-girl/person”, but a lot of us will look for quick fixes or even go towards trying unhealthy habits. allowing yourself to accept who you are right in this moment can be a first step towards becoming the person you strive to be.

accept your insecurities. accept your failures. accept your body as it is right now. accept your faults. then take all of that acceptance and turn it into a learning experience for yourself. learn that your insecurities only become insecurities because of that negative self-talk. learn that you cannot grow without any failures. learn what exactly it is that your body needs to become healthier and better for yourself.

accept yourself, then learn from yourself.

ᥫ᭡. manifestations & affirmations

we can make our dream selves become the reality. there’s so many amazing posts here on tumblr about manifesting, so go look into them! if we believe it, we can have it. you have to believe that you have confidence. you have to affirm yourself that you are confident. people, myself included, talk about “faking it til you make it”, but when you really think about it, the more you repeat these manifestations and affirmations the more it starts to feel true and real to yourself.

this also ties into positive self-talk. we have to speak to ourselves kindly, we have to uplift ourselves in a world that brings us down. talk to yourself with grace, gratitude, and genuine appreciation. you have gotten yourself through countless hardships. sure, there were probably people who helped you out on the way, but at the end of it, it was mostly your own doing that got you to a better place. so appreciate and love that about yourself!

grab a journal and write down all your manifestations and affirmations daily. writing it all down is like setting it in stone. be consistent, and soon enough all that you want for yourself— including self confidence— will come into fruition.

ᥫ᭡. take pride

think of it this way: no one can be you. people can try to imitate you, but they can never truly be you. take pride in how you look because no one has features like yours, take pride in your work because no one worked the way you did, take pride in your accomplishments because no one worked in the same way that you did to achieve those things; take pride in yourself. as cheesy and cliché as it all sounds, there’s literally no one else who is like you.

ᥫ᭡. find a deeper understanding for yourself

this point is heavily inspired by thewizardliz’s video “study yourself to become confident” (linked in the beginning of the chapter). i just want to reiterate her points and expand on them a little bit! her beginning statement includes: “once you know who you are, no one can tell you anything”.

i feel like we all understand ourselves to a certain degree. but understanding yourself on a deeper, more personal level will allow you to truly feel confident. in her video, liz talks about understanding and even studying ourselves to understand what we like/dislike, what we accept/don’t accept, etc. and i genuinely feel like she brings up a really great point in doing so!

we, as humans, feel like we know what we want for ourselves rather than actually knowing what we want for ourselves. we feel like certain people bring us joy, we feel like certain hobbies make us happy, we feel like we understand ourselves. but, in reality, most times we don’t actually know those things about ourselves.

people we surround ourselves with

we think that certain friends/partners bring us joy because we’re taught, sometimes unintentionally, to allow people to make us feel like we have to conform to them and their wants and needs. we don’t know that some of these people in our lives might actually be bringing us and our confidence down.

hobbies people partake in

we think that doing certain things, like drinking or hook-up culture, make us feel happy or satisfied with ourselves. but we don’t know or we’re not aware of how those hobbies, or even habits, might be destroying us physically, mentally, and even emotionally.

behaviors we accept

we think that if we accept certain behaviors that we’ll get more people to like us or get brownie points with a specific person, but we don’t know that accepting bad/poor behavior diminishes our strength and respect for ourself.

this all takes us back to chapter one: THE ART OF LETTING GO. the toxic people we surround ourselves with unknowingly, the hobbies we take part in unknowingly, the behaviors we accept unknowingly; that all needs to be let go of!

we have to truly understand ourselves and truly know exactly what we want for ourselves to gain the confidence we long for. without knowing yourself, you won’t understand how to find and feel genuine self confidence.

ᥫ᭡. final notes

at a certain point, confidence should feel like it comes naturally, but to even get to that point there’s a lot of work that needs to be put into ourselves. especially when a lot of us start off with almost no confidence at all, it can be extremely challenging to even wake up in the morning and think, “i can do this”. you have to be willing to put in the work for yourself. you have to be willing to have patience with yourself. you have to be willing to advocate for yourself. you have to be willing to do all of this for you, and you alone. you can be confident— and confidence will come to you! you’re more than capable of doing so, babe. believe in yourself like you would believe in someone you love and care for.

with lots of love, juno 🌷

[nightinghoul]

I was at choral rehearsal a couple of days ago, and we were in a different location than usual, where it was just not easy to get around with my rollator. So, I pushed it up against a wall, and was just walking around normal-like. But something in the building was giving me crazy vertigo.

I felt self conscious thinking everyone would believe I'm a faker. But, it's singing - Most of the time we were all sitting, anyway. I was panicking on the inside, because I felt like I was going to faint, even then.

And then, right at the end, when I went to retrieve my rollator, and as I was standing there in front of it, one of my knees went noodly, and I dropped straight to the floor. I caught myself pretty well, as usual.

I looked up and laughed, because I knew I had startled several people. I said, "I just like sitting on the floor, okay!?"

A few people chuckled along with me, and someone said, "You actually managed it very gracefully!"

So, I didn't mean for that to happen, but I felt sort of vindicated. Then, I felt guilty for feeling that way. Then, I felt angry for having such complicated feelings about using my mobility aid. Then I laughed again. That's life, with a mobility aid. 😛

[self-improvementgirlie]

[snarky-synesthete]

You’re a lot cooler than you think you are. Our Lady of the Hills Dolly Parton once said, “Find out who you are, and do it on purpose.”

Feeling like a dweeb is the “finding out” part.

Follow those things that make you feel cool - the most confidently “you” - and jump down any interesting rabbit holes you find along the way.

Building a life you love with a brain that feels like a liar? It’s tough. But so are you.

I’m proud of you.

[wildlyplanted]

How Did You Get Your Confidence?

Confidence, self-worth and self-love are qualities that a person first learns from their family. None of these were instilled in me during childhood. Like other important ones, I had to cultivate these attributes over time, through my life experiences, and I'm still learning every day. I feel grateful that I wasn’t swallowed up by the world and I didn’t end up falling victim to some of the things that can happen to a young person (and even an adult) when they feel lost and overwhelmed and they lack that knowing that they deserve to be treated well, whether it’s in a relationship, by other family members, by friends and even at their job. Then once you know, you have to put confidence in action. Many people know they deserve better, but the lack of confidence keeps them on a path of accepting less than. 

Over time, I began to peel away the layers of fear and insecurity and I started moving through the world with a better understanding of who I was, what I wanted, what I refused accept. Year after year, I grew into expecting the highest for my life. Anytime I fell out of alignment with that, I observed how my thinking played a role and many times, it was because I let my confidence collapse and my self-worth tumbled with it. Those voices from childhood can creep up and attempt to sabotage how far we’ve come and all the time and effort we put into building a better version of ourselves. Don’t let those voices trip you up. They aren’t real. What is real, is regaining your momentum through ways like therapy, meditation, exercise, time in nature, journaling, time with people who help you feel hopeful and energized. Rebuilding yourself and your confidence, finding even greater clarity than before, and moving toward the highest vision you hold for your life. Every time I’ve had a setback, I came back with an even higher awareness and set my sights higher for what I knew I deserved, and my confidence improved.

Have you ever struggled with confidence at any point in your life? If so, did it stem from childhood, or was it something that developed later in life?

Where you can find me/how to contact me:

IG: wildlyplanted

YouTube: Wildly Planted (this is a work in progress, but I’m finding direction)

Email: wildlyplanted@zoho.com

[lnk-and-lnspiration]

How to Overcome Impostor Syndrome and Believe in Your Writing Skills

Impostor syndrome is a common experience among writers and creatives, characterized by feelings of self-doubt, inadequacy, and the persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud. It can undermine your confidence and prevent you from fully embracing your writing skills and accomplishments. However, overcoming impostor syndrome is possible with self-awareness, self-compassion, and proactive steps. In…

[mediocrephd]

I attended my first in-person conference on Tuesday, the British Ecological Society Aquatic Group annual meeting at Lancaster University! It was quite a small conference, but really enjoyable! So many incredibly interesting talks, ranging from global warming and ocean acidification to using meeting sponges to assess community diversity through eDNA!

Despite the grey, drizzly weather, it was a great experience, and I definitely have a few more papers to read and connections to make!

Lancaster uni also had a lovely campus with pretty architecture and lots of little green spaces! There was a gorgeous coffee shop on campus (who do amazing vegan hot chocolate!) called Coastal and co. If you're ever on campus, I highly recommend them! :)

Please enjoy this little photo I took outside of where the conference was! You can just about see the coffee shop I mentioned in the back!

[milkoomi]

₊˚⊹ ᰔ a guide to building confidence ᝰ.ᐟ

confidence doesn’t come easy when we live in a world full of standards that we feel like we have to follow and uphold. let go of those standards and focus on you and what you want for yourself.

let’s begin !!

ᝰ.ᐟ posture

your posture might be one of the first things people notice about you! so stand up straight, bring your shoulders back, and lift your head up high! having good posture isn’t just good for your back, but it’ll also make you feel more regal, classy, and come off as more confident.

people always tell me that they love how i hold myself, and part of that is thanks to my posture! i walk into any room with my head held high and standing tall because i want people to see that i hold myself to the highest standard and i want to feel that way too!

ᝰ.ᐟ maintain eye contact

this is a hard one, for me at least. it’s something i’m still practicing! but being able to maintain eye contact not only shows that you’re engaged in a conversation, but also shows that you aren’t afraid to communicate with whomever you’re speaking to!

i’m neurodivergent, so eye contact is not one of my strong suits, but what’s helped me in conversations is to look at the person who’s speaking while i listen and once it’s my turn to speak, i’ll maintain eye contact for short periods of time as i talk and then gradually continue to keep the eye contact going! it also helps if you look at one of the eyes of the person you’re speaking to and focusing on that rather than their entire face!

ᝰ.ᐟ speak up

for my soft spoken babes out there, you are allowed to get a little loud! if you’re someone who tends to hear “i’m sorry, what?” or “i can’t hear you” you gotta speak up! as someone who was told that all throughout my younger years in middle/high school, i got tired of it really quickly, so i started to raise my voice a bit whenever i spoke. now, i’m not saying you have to go out and start yelling at people, but just use a bigger voice whenever you talk!

it also helps to articulate your words more! mumbling can be a sign of anxiety or insecurity, so be clear with your words. speak with clarity!

ᝰ.ᐟ be, unapologetically, yourself

when you start doing things because you want to or because it makes you happy, you start feeling so much better about yourself. immerse yourself in things you enjoy rather than what people say you should enjoy. live for yourself, play by your own rules, and stop succumbing to what other people want from you!

get that hair cut, dye your hair that color, wear those clothes & accessories, do your makeup how you want to, get into the hobbies you’ve been dying to enjoy, listen to the music that makes you feel good! be your most authentic self!

ᝰ.ᐟ dress to impress yourself

to go off of that previous point, it’s important to wear what you feel the most comfortable in! wear what makes you feel good and makes you feel like the best version of yourself!

don’t dress for anyone else but you! you should be the only one you’re trying to impress! if you feel great in the clothes you decide to wear, then keep wearing them! find a style that you feel like you would absolutely devour in!

ᝰ.ᐟ learn to accept criticism

“but you just said-!” hold on, babe!!! i mean this in a professional sense! when it comes to your job, career, and/or your education, learn to accept that constructive criticism from your mentors/teachers/higher ups!

i used to dread being told that there was something i needed to improve on, but it turns out that that constructive criticism helped me grow in my field, in my schooling, and even as a person. learning to accept that kind of criticism will help you more than you think. it allows you to continue to grow, to see what exactly it is that still needs a little bit of work, and with that information you can hone and sharpen your skills, your knowledge, and yourself which will lead to more personal growth! and with that growth comes more achievements, and with more achievements, the more confidence you’ll have for yourself!

ᝰ.ᐟ stop the negative self-talk

if you don’t like being put down by others, why would you do that to yourself? continuously putting yourself down or talking poorly about yourself will only continue to bring down your own confidence. the insecurities will only take over even more if you keep bringing yourself down with negative self-talk.

be kind to yourself. you should love yourself as you love your friends, family, and partner(s). you deserve kindness, especially from yourself! make it a daily goal to look in the mirror and compliment yourself the way a loved one would!

𝜗𝜚 final notes 𝜗𝜚

building confidence isn’t an easy feat, a lot of this is so much easier said than done, but if you want to have personal growth you have to put in the work towards making yourself better, and make sure you’re making these changes and going through these growths for you and not anyone else. i know a lot of us want to be treated a certain way, so start with treating yourself that way!

live and love, babe.

sincerely, juno ⭑.ᐟ

[antvnger]

((How long did it take you to feel confident with your blog? I haven't been around as long as you have. I've only been here for a couple months, so I'm still sorta new. I'm having issues with my confident level and I second guess myself a lot. Do you have any tips for this?))

((Hey Anon, thanks for reaching out.

So I’ll be honest, it took some time for me to feel confident in the blog and what it could offer. There was a lot I was trying to figure out all at the same time, and it didn’t help that my first blog attempt was shadow banned in the first two weeks of having it.

Over time though, I gained more confidence because I threw myself out there and tried to stir up interactions. It’s kind of scary, but it’s important for an RP blog.

Here’s some advice for you:

Give yourself permission to change things as you go as needed. It really takes a load off to know you don’t have to have everything figured out and set in stone right away. You can adapt as you go, and you’ll find you’ll need to.

Take the leap and throw casual asks to different blogs to generate some interaction. You don’t have to start a thread with them immediately. Just send an easy ask they can answer to get yourself in the mix. It may seem scary, but it’s a really good way to get your blog out there. (You can send some here too if you’d like.)

If you don’t have very many asks right now, send yourself some anon asks and answer those. That gets your content out there and it keeps your blog from looking blank.

And it will help you build a community which is always a good confidence boost.

Honestly Anon, the more you put out there, the more chances you have to figure out your character and how you want things to go, your strengths and weaknesses, and you’ll find confidence in knowing those things.

I hope this helps you. Good luck! See you around.))

[quietflorilegium]

"It seemed incredible to me now that I had never understood. I wondered how many people there were in the world who suffered, and continued to suffer, because they could not break out from their own web of shyness and reserve, and in their blindness and folly built up a great distorted wall in front of them that hid the truth. This was what I had done. I had built up false pictures in my mind and sat before them. I had never had the courage to demand the truth."

Daphne du Maurier, "Rebecca"

[bessieblackbird]

Im in my MILF era- diabetic so I have to exercise to keep healthy and it comes with the side effect of HOT 🔥 (special shout out to Rutobuka who showed me how sexy and hot my body was before exercise too. Hairy and full of delicious rolls).

Im funny as hell and I can cook. I can make a piece of chicken melt in your mouth like a pat of butter. Self taught and hard won skill that I am incredibly proud of.

Im learning to dance better because I love to move my body to stim and dance to music but never knew how! Turns out I can MOVE.

let’s settle this shit but do NOT reblog if you’re gonna be modest about it like a little BITCH. anyway privilege check tell me which ones apply to you: hot, funny, can dance, can do math, can spell, can drive, can cook

[menscarezone]

Confidence & Intimacy Guide

Are you looking to strengthen your relationship with yourself and your partner? The Confidence & Intimacy Guide is here to help. It offers self-confidence tips and strategies for personal growth. This guide aims to help you build a more fulfilling connection. This guide will show you how to boost your self-confidence and intimacy. You’ll learn techniques to make your life more satisfying and…

[humayrakeya]

How to Be a Strong Man: Confidence, Core Values & Authentic Living | BetterMen Coaching

What does it really mean to be a strong man in today’s world? In this powerful and motivational video, Wayne Levine, a life coach for men and author of Hold On to Your N.U.T.s, breaks down the core values that define true masculinity. Forget traditional stereotypes; this is about discovering your true self, embracing confidence and authenticity, and living a life rooted in purpose and strength.

In this motivational video, you’ll learn how to build confidence, practice self-awareness, and live according to your non-negotiable, unalterable terms (N.U.T.s). Whether you're on a journey of personal growth, self-improvement, or simply seeking solid life advice, this empowering message will help you redefine what it means to be a "strong man"—on your own terms. This isn’t about being tough on the outside; it’s about being grounded, emotionally intelligent, and dependable for yourself and those you love.

If you're ready to step into your full potential and become the man you were meant to be, you're in the right place. This video is perfect for men seeking motivation, inspiration, and guidance from a life coach who understands the real challenges men face today. Join the BetterMen Coaching community and start building the life you want—with confidence, authenticity, and strength.

#corevalues #authenticliving #authenticity #strongman #personalgrowth #selfawareness #confidence #masculinity #emotionalhealth #innerstrength #healingjourney #balance #selfimprovement #lifeadvice #lifecoach #relationshipexpert #menslifecoach #therapyformen #menswork #helpformen #motivation #inspiration #waynelevine #bettermencoaching #lifecoachformen #inspiration #motivationalvideo

[my-neuroglia]

Any masking helps!

You don't have to wear masks into restaurants but what about the grocery store? Into the library or gas station? In your office?

Harm reduction is not an all or nothing endeavor - every little bit really does help.

i’m not saying this in a mean way, but i really hope with all my heart that everyone posting about community & loving each other right now is wearing a mask in their daily life !! like that’s one of the most straightforward ways you can take care of the people around you, and keep each other safe!

i know it’s a hard adjustment if you’ve stopped masking for awhile because the government/media has been pushing their propaganda about how covid is mild/isn’t a threat anymore. it’s scary to accept that a comfort you thought existed was just a lie, but we need to care enough about each other to put in the work of unlearning that propaganda. (and if you’re not sure how to start doing that, feel free to reply to this or send me an ask or DM me for help!!)

we need to be brave enough to build community on actual safety measures and concrete support, not just vibes and empty statements about love and community.

[motivatedsavages]

You’re one decision away from a breakthrough. Most people scroll. A few rise. This post might be exactly what you didn’t know you needed today. ➡️ Tap the link. Read it. Apply it. Change the game.