#But the amount I wrote for the response... I was like. Ok.

[bsaka7]

16 & 23?

Thank u marthe ILY 🥰🥰🥰🥰

16. What is your most underrated fic?

i mean i only know from people telling me what they think of my stuff/my stats but like. probably Charles and the three curses (chalex) or Charles dragon fic (Charles gen)... Idk. They're both fics I had a LOT of fun with and I think are... Fairly quality???? Or at least interesting. And definitely are more niche. But I think they're good!!!!!!!! I guess I'm saying people need to get more into Charles-centric fantasy come ON!!!!

23. If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?

Oooh I'm not sure. I feel like ill ray could be interesting from the non-daniel perspectives...especially like Jenson and pierre who we just get little bits of.... So maybe I would do a reverse pov inverse of the fic....

[todayisafridaynight]

tumblr stop trying to copy twitter and for the love of god please improve your tagging system i just want to find A Post using keywords i know should work

[everyonewooeverywhere]

MDNI 18+ BLOG -> ageless blogs and minors WILL BE BLOCKED

pairing ✭ bf!vernon x f!reader

synopsis ✭ when you come home from a less-than-perfect day, your boyfriend is nowhere to be found, but you don't want to call him and ask him to come home while he's out with friends. even though he'd drop everything if he knew you were struggling.

content/genre ✭ smut 18+ MDNI, established relationship, non-idol!au, hurt to comfort, relatively fluffy

word count ✭ 2.5k

notes ✭ hey hi! this is just a reworking of "minor nuisance." when i originally wrote it i was between writing it for jongho or hansol, so i figured i'd rework it for hansol ☺️

i said this in the original, but i'll say it here too. the mc in this is heavily based on my experiences with adhd. so this is a little personal but it was very therapeutic to write at the time.

✭ ✭ ✭

It was a terrible day. One of the worst you’d had in a while. Nothing seemed to be going your way. You’d ripped your favorite pair of tights this morning when getting ready in a hurry after waking up super late. You’d locked yourself out of the apartment. The seven dollar coffee you’d bought for yourself to cope with aforementioned events had spilt all over your desk, ruining the book you had just received as a gift from a coworker. And, to top it all off, your boss had demanded you to stay late to finish what was supposed to be his job.

So when you finally made it back to your apartment, after waiting in the lobby forever waiting for your landlord to let you in, you wanted nothing more than to collapse on the couch with your boyfriend and fall asleep in his arms. 

You were plagued with fatigue as you slipped out of your work shoes and made your way through the kitchen and into the living room, not finding him anywhere. The bedroom the two of you shared was also completely vacant. Nothing had changed since you’d left this morning. He hadn’t been home all day.

Maybe he’s just working late, you thought, slightly defeated knowing you’d have to wait for him, not knowing how long it would take. 

Trying to take your mind off of it, you scrolled on your phone for a completely indiscernible amount of time, feeling completely defeated with the day you’d had. Moving in with Hansol months ago has been an incredibly helpful step for you. Before the two of you had lived together, you were a master of procrastinating your own feelings. Constantly letting yourself rot away in your bed and letting the day pass you by. Only to be plagued by that crushing guilt that came with letting a day go by unproductively. Living with Hansol had given you someone to hold you accountable. To pull you out of bed because sometimes it was impossible to do it on your own.

But on nights like these, where your boyfriend was nowhere to be found, which was not a common occurrence, you felt yourself slipping back into the endless cycle of losing yourself in your phone for countless hours. 

Hours passed and the sun was almost completely down before you received a text from your boyfriend.

| hannie 💗: hey love, sorry i had to stay late for work today. i’m gonna go get some drinks with my coworkers.

| hannie 💗: that ok?

God, you felt so helpless. How horrible and controlling of a partner would you be to tell him ‘no?’ Did he ask? Yes, but you desperately didn’t want to be the girl who always needed to be by her boyfriend’s side. Telling him he couldn’t go out with his friends would make you feel like such a nuisance. You stared at the screen for a good two minutes, biting your thumb, trying to think of how to respond.

| hannie 💗: y/n? 

| hannie 💗: i can see you read the message. is everything alright?

Before you could even draft a response, his name flashed across the screen. Taking a deep breath, you slid your thumb across the screen, answering the call.

“Hi,” you picked up.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You could hear some of his coworkers in the background. He must already be at the bar. 

You held in a sigh, “Nothing, I’m alright. Why?”

“Y/n, you read and didn’t respond to my message. Like you were overthinking a response."

You didn’t say anything. Overthinking yet another response.

“Love, I don’t even want to be here that badly. If you need me to come home, I will. But you’ve gotta tell me.” He was being so patient with you. So much more patient than you thought you deserved, though he would certainly disagree with that.

You took a deep breath, nearing tears, “I–” this was so incredibly hard, “Can you please come home? I didn’t really have a great day.”

“Of course, I’ll be there in about thirty minutes. Do you want me to stay on the phone?”

“No, it’s alright. I just need to see you.”

“Ok, just hang in there alright. Why don’t you hop in the shower, and we can watch a movie when I get back. I’ll pick up some takeout on my way, too.”

When you hang up, you force yourself to get out of bed and get in the shower. It’s so rewarding and feels so relaxing that you can’t imagine why you ever couldn’t get out of the bed in the first place. But, of course, you say that every time. 

✭✭✭✭

By the time you had gotten out of the shower and dried your hair, Hansol had made it home with the takeout he’d promised in hand. 

When you left your bedroom, you saw him sitting on the floor in your living room. He’d lit a candle on the coffee table and set the food down with it. You could tell he’d changed out of his work clothes into a hoodie and basketball shorts, mirroring your almost identical outfit. He didn’t notice you at first. He was chatting to someone on the phone, seemingly a friendly conversation, and not one you wanted to interrupt. When he saw you, though, you heard him say goodbye to whoever was on the line. 

Throwing his phone down on the couch, he got up from the floor and met you at the door of your bedroom. Pulling you into a big hug, he placed a kiss on the top of your head. 

“No pressure, but, if you wanna talk about your day, we can.”

You shook your head, “Not really. I just wanna eat, I think.”

The two of you ate, sitting in comfortable silence on the floor in your living room. You noticed as you took in the scene around you, that Hansol had turned off all the overhead lights in the room. Leaving only the candlelight and the string lights around the ceiling to illuminate the room. There was something about warm lighting that made everything feel so much more cozy and comfortable. 

Your boyfriend wasn’t the most physically affectionate individual, but he never failed to make you feel loved. He always noticed the small things. He was hyper aware of your emotions in the least patronizing way possible. It was little moments like bringing home food for you and turning the cool-toned overhead lights off that reminded you that this man knew you better than anyone.

And that wasn’t something that happened overnight. He tried harder than anyone you’d ever met to know you. Your likes, dislikes, discomforts, phobias, and even your little habits. He knew it all. What he knew most is that you desired so bad to have someone to pull you out of your slump. Which is why he had come home early.

“I’m sorry you couldn’t stay out with your friends,” you whispered, staying focused on the food in front of you.

“I didn’t come home because I felt any obligation to. It’s not that I couldn’t stay out with my friends. It’s that you needed me here at home, and I wanted to come home and comfort you.” He ran a hand over your hair as he finished up his own food. 

That was another thing you loved about him. He wasn’t saying this because he wanted to make you feel better. He wanted you to know that you were not alone. That you were free to feel your feelings, and he’d always be right beside you to comfort you through them.

“Thank you,” you looked up at him, “I love you, you know that, right?”

“How could I ever forget? I love you, too.”

✭✭✭✭

After the food was gone and the coffee table was cleared, Hansol had put on a movie laid down on the couch, holding out his arms for you. When you finally sat between his legs and leaned into his chest, he pulled a quilted blanket over the two of you, wrapping his arms around you.

You paid very little mind to the movie playing on the TV. Instead you were focused on the rhythm of his breathing, the steady beating of his heart, and the minor movements his chest would make when he let out a soft laugh whatever he was watching.

He played with your hair, running his fingers through the strands, softly brushing his fingers over your neck with each pass. This position couldn’t have been more comfortable. Being with the man you loved as he comforted you in the way he knew best with absolutely no complaint was more than you could’ve ever dreamed of.

Hansol would claim that it was the bare minimum, but you always felt the need to let him know how much he really amazed you. 

When you reached your hand up to his cheek to brush your thumb over the skin, he looked down at you, completely forgetting about the movie playing. He grabbed your hand from his cheek and kissed your fingers, your palm, the back of your hand, the inside of your wrist.

Pulling yourself up to his face, you kissed him as softly as he’d done to your hand. Everything was so soft. From the way he kissed you to the way he caressed the skin under your hoodie right above the waistband of your shorts. From the hand you had in his hair to the way he lifted you to sit more comfortably in his lap.

He kissed your neck just as softly. You sighed contently. Fully basking in the way he took care of you. His movie was fully disregarded at this point as he gripped the bottom of your shirt.

Looking into your eyes he asked, “can I take care of you, love?” You nodded, helping him lift the sweatshirt over your head. 

Before you could even comprehend the nakedness of your chest, he lifted you into his arms and carried you to your shared bed. Laying you on your back. Your bare skin taking immense comfort in the softness of your sheet. He pulled his shirt over his head and threw his pants off to the side.

He immediately went back to kissing you. Hands moving from your cheeks, down your neck. His thumbs caressed your collarbone as his lips brushed the crook of your neck and then your shoulder. You shuddered when one of his hands took your breast. His lips met the other one, causing you to let out a breathy moan and weave your fingers through his dark hair.

He continued to kiss and touch every inch of your torso. When he got to your waistband, he left a small kiss under your belly button. His big brown eyes meeting your own as he pulled your shorts and underwear off together. Tossing them to the side of the bed. 

Lifting one of your legs onto his shoulder, he kissed your inner thigh, still meeting your eyes. The eye contact wasn’t broken until his thumb met your clit. Brushing over it slightly, making you toss your head back into the pillows under you. His mouth replaced his thumb, slowly teasing you. 

With his free hand, he took your own hand, the one that wasn’t gripping his hair, and threaded his fingers through yours. Thumb brushing over the back of your hand.

He felt so good. His tongue working so hard to make you feel pleasure. Everything was so gentle, but felt so euphoric. His fingers pumping in and out of you as he sucked on your clit. You felt like you could’ve floated away with the way he caressed your hand and your thigh. It wasn’t long before you were washed with a wave of pleasure. Everything was hot. You felt it rush through you from your ears down to your cunt. He kissed your thigh one more time after you came, fingers pushing you through the finale of your orgasm. 

Your breathing was ragged when he made it back up to your face, kissing you tenderly. Reaching a hand beneath the pillow under your head. He pulled out a condom. Before he could open it, you plucked it out of his hands, tearing it open as he stripped himself of his own underwear before you rolled the rubber onto his length. He groaned at the touch.

“You ready?” He asked, grabbing your arm and kissing your wrist.

You nodded, smiling, “yes. please, baby.”

When he pushed into you, you gasped and threw your head back again. He kissed your neck and shoulder, slowly thrusting into you. On most occasions, you’d beg him to go faster, but his subdued nature in this moment was so incredibly comforting. His thumb massaged your clit.

He kissed you deeply as he thrust into you. Completely overtaking your lips with his own. His kisses were so full of passion that your head spun. His adoration for you was so evident from the way he looked into your eyes when he stopped kissing you. Your foreheads pressed together, separated only by a thin layer of sweat. 

“I love you so much, y/n,” he says, just above a whisper. So close that you can feel his breath tickle your lips when he says it.

You moan softly, feeling yourself reach a second high, “I love you, too.”

It’s only a matter of minutes before you reach your orgasm. You grip his shoulders tight as he coaxes you through your climax. Walls fluttering around him as he finishes inside the condom. 

He kisses your lips once more before pulling out. He pushes himself off the bed to throw it away. When he comes back, he slides back into bed with you. Breath still slightly ragged. 

You laid on his chest, listening to his heart beat once more.

Running a hand over his stomach, you said, “Thanks for coming home early today.”

“Of course, love. You know I’d drop anything to come home to you if you were struggling.”

“I just feel like such a nuisance asking for you to come home,” you groaned.

He ran a hand over your hair, “I will never ever see you asking for help as a nuisance. Sometimes you just need a little push. Or sometimes you just need to lay in someone’s arms. I will always be there to do that for you. No matter the circumstance, ok?”

You wanted to protest, tell him he was too much, too good to you, but he kept going, “I trust you. I know that when you ask me to come home, it’s not because you're insecure or controlling. It’s because you need help, and I want you to always feel comfortable asking for it.”

He’d left you just a little bit speechless. All you could respond with was a gentle kiss on his lips.

For him, though, that was more than enough.

[kohakhearts]

goh parentified child syndrome. go(h)

my time is here at last. thank you for enabling me <3 apologies for taking months to finish writing this giant post!

welcome to my dissertation on this fucking Dynamic <3

ok! first thing, let's establish our criteria for Parentified Child Syndrome. this is obviously not like, an actual diagnostic Thing, but there are a million and one articles out there for us to look through. so i did the tough work of scouring those to find some Symptoms we can use as anchor points here. a lot of this is split into "emotional" (parents seeking comfort from their children, rather than comforting them) vs. "material" (parents assigning their children responsibilities that are not age-appropriate (e.g. grocery shopping, paying bills, etc.)) needs, but for simplicity i'll just merge them together - because realistically, they often go hand-in-hand. so the primary symptoms we'll work with here will be:

disruptive childhood behaviours (particularly at school)

stress and anxiety

reluctance to participate in play/age-appropriate activities with their peers

difficulty acknowledging and accepting one's feelings

insecure attachment styles

need to feel "in control"

distrustful of others/self-reliant to a fault

absenteeism and poor performance in school

passive communication style

the other obvious prerequesite here is the family dynamic. so let's dissect that one a bit!

goh's family situation isn't actually like...100% clear. but i have analyzed every episode where his family is even mentioned like it's my full-time job and i have no reason to believe his grandmother actually lives with him. so in the scope of this essay, i am assuming that she lives nearby, and most likely has a key to the apartment, but does not live with them.

otherwise, we are given enough context to assume that camille and walker have been busy with work goh's entire life (though i'd choose to believe for my own sanity that in his infancy his mother at least wasn't working...though given the type of job she has, that's actually...kinda hard to say for sure). we can also assume that they've at least been self-employed for the majority of his life. it's clear that they are fairly well-established in the city/in their field by jn, and since goh is supposed to be 10 at this point, it makes sense to me that they've been building that company up pretty much his whole life.

in terms of the work they do, goh tells ash, my dad is a system engineer and my mom is a programmer. they run a company together. granted, we don't see very much of their actual workplace, but what we do see is completely void of other people. as in, camille and walker do all this work BY THEMSELVES.

nothing in the anime otherwise disputes this! if anything, goh's explanations of his parents' lifestyle just reinforces it. he also suggests that during periods of harsh weather and heavy system use, his parents are busier than usual. this implies that they are most busy during holidays. this is actually further implied by the flashback in jn015 where they explicitly say to him that they're sorry for having to work through the holiday. his reaction, being completely unengaged, not even really even acknowledging it, tells us that this is the norm.

however!! he also shows off a special device to horace in jn032 that he says his parents made specifically for him, to help him learn more about mew. this suggests that they must have some amount of free time to dedicate to him...but they show their love for him through material gifts related to their line of work (his computer set-up, too; he tells scorbunny that his parents set it all up for him).

otherwise, we see camille and walker privately share their concerns about goh (a clear awareness that he doesn't have many friends, concern about him being lonely because of them, etc.) but never actually confront goh with their concerns or appear to go out of their ways to do anything about it. i wrote a bit about this and the symbolism of having him catch a cubone of all pokemon in the episode we're introduced to his family here but the tl;dr is that camille and walker demonstrate care for goh to each other but not to him - presumably to compensate for their physical absence, we get the impression he's given a lot of freedom and little to no discipline.

which brings me to the first criterion:

disruptive childhood behaviours (with a side of absenteeism, which presumably contributes to poor performance in school)

goh's school life is obviously inconvienent to the plot progression, so for narrative purposes the writers have him just not go to school. in jn049 we get the explanation that goh had made a promise to their teacher to show up to school for tests...but the weird thing about this scene is that chloe's surprised by it:

since in jn001 and jn002 we see that chloe is goh's only point of contact amongst his schoolmates and that she hand delivers schoolwork to him at her dad's lab, the only way this exchange really makes sense to me is if it's a new arrangement. even the fact that goh makes a point of saying "hey, i followed through, go me" to their teacher here gives that vibe.

so, we can extrapolate from that that...prior to whenever this agreement was made, goh just didn't go to school because he didn't want to. but given how schools operate, we can pretty safely assume his parents are aware of this. and i have strong reason to believe that they have at least been on the receiving end of phone calls from teachers or administrators, because of these lines from jn015:

all things considered, this is a weird assumption to make, especially about your hyper-independent introverted child...unless there's a history of disruptive or unfriendly behaviour to inform that assumption. and based on goh's behaviour in jn001 at professor oak's pokemon camp, i don't think it's so out there to say the pattern probably was there.

goh is actually a super sweet kid towards his parents and has a clear admiration for them both. even in flashbacks, his whole thing is kind of like...he doesn't want to bother them. they fall asleep on family vacation and don't spend time with him? well, that's fine! he'll just find something else to do! in that same episode in the flashback sequence, they pick him up on the side of the road alone in the pouring rain and he doesn't say a word to them. even though he was angry and upset before.

so, yeah. i think it would make a lot of sense if he were well-behaved at home and not so much so at school. but camille and walker, even when they learn about things that happen, don't seem to probe or discipline him. whether because of any combination of giving him leeway out of guilt or of not wanting to encourage him to act out at home, we don't know. but the disconnect obviously exists.

which then contributes to

stress and anxiety, difficulty acknowleding and accepting one's feelings, and passive communication style

goh is socially awkward, yes, and clearly very anxious socially especially early on in jn, but a lot of that seems to come from an inability to express his wants and needs. i think jn003 has some of the most succinct examples of this - ash having to realize he's struggling and to reach down to him when they're climbing the tower in order for him to even accept that he can get (and needs) help getting up, and then later one when he stumbles over his words trying to ask ash to be his friend.

i think another good example is in jn007, after he gets knocked out at the flute cup. passive communication relies a lot on shifts in body language and in, well, passive statements. when ash approaches him to tell him to cheer up, goh doesn't actually really...respond to that. he does this

and then runs off. which he does fairly often, actually, even as late as jn135. it's emotional avoidance 101. literally just run away from the thing that's bothering you. something else we see in jn135 is him backing out of admitting he wants to go on a journey - because he is concerned about ash's reaction (though i think it's a little more complex than that, but i'll circle back to that).

and of course there's jn062, which i wrote a lot about in this post. but the whole thesis of the episode is that goh has learned through his relationships up to this point that it's okay to not understand your feelings but you still have to feel them. and it's actually a really beautiful character development moment for him, but also reinforces the fact that he still doesn't know how to grapple with his own emotions. after finally finding drizzile and explaining how he knew he would find it there, he starts to cry and doesn't know why. but even aside from feeling vulnerable, it's kind of a culmination of this stress he's been carrying with him throughout the whole episode...and the sense of responsibility he feels for driving drizzile away. which is a great segue into

insecure attachment styles and need to feel "in control"

if there's one thing i feel like people sleep on regarding goh's character, it's how much of a mother hen he is. he's obviously very thorough and thoughtful when it comes to looking after his pokemon - as in jn062 where he spends all that time chasing down drizzile after it runs away, even to the point of telling ash and chloe that they should stay behind because it's getting late but that he's going to keep looking - but he's the same way with ash.

off the top of my head, things like buying extra scones because he knew ash would want them, making ash wash his hands after eating ice cream, chastising him about punctuality, you know...very parental kind of things. he actually does it with horace too, when they first meet, by bringing a lunch for them both when he goes back to the forest to meet him again.

anyway, being a Mom Friend is cute and all, but it also REEKS of parentified child. taking on responsibilities that aren't yours to fulfill? yeah. that's a need to feel in control. it's what he's used to! it offers him security!

the other side of this is...chloe. goh's first friend, who he refuses to consider a friend, or let consider him a friend. but, like, she obviously IS his friend. and yet our introduction to them gives us this exchange

goh and chloe have a pretty tense relationship at the beginning of jn, wherein she is clearly trying to help him (by you know. getting his homework for him and shit) and he blows her off in a text message, which she complains is a repeating behaviour. chloe is obviously very loyal to him, even though he doesn't seem to repay the favour. again, there's a big disconnect here.

insecure attachments generally stem from anxiety over potential rejection and/or poor self-esteem cultivated in childhood based on parents’ emotional availability (or lack thereof) to their children. by keeping chloe an arm's distance away, goh keeps himself safe from the dangers of vulnerability, taught to him through childhood encounters with emotionally unavailable parents.

i'm not here to armchair diagnose (ok, who am i kidding, yeah i am), but i think goh's attachment style is anxious-avoidant. his clear avoidance of making friends, the multiple times we see him break off his friendship with ash only to minutes later be like "me and the bestie"...yeah, that's avoidance. but he does crave intimacy, arguably even more than he fears it.

hence why even though he knows ash would want him to journey on his own...he still convinces himself that actually telling ash that would be, as he calls it, a "betrayal of [their] friendship." my theory is that he's not concerned that ash will be upset - he's concerned that ash won't be upset enough. which is why when then ash turns it around on him and says he's going on a journey, goh gets upset and pushes him away. he does the exact same thing with horace when they're younger. just a complete 180 - he wronged me once, so he's the worst and i can't forgive him, ever.

the difference with chloe is that she actually takes care of him more than he takes care of her - which changes the dynamic from "i have to do everything to keep this person in my life, including suppressing my emotions for their sake" to "i cannot express to this person that i have needs and desires because they'll think i'm too much and they won't stick around if i do." which is primarily avoidant, but insecure attachment nonetheless.

this is extrapolation, but i think his relationship with chloe is so different because we are supposed to get the sense that they have a more familial dynamic. so, she's the one person he can't push away from him - but as he learned in his actual family dynamic, he also can't be too close to her. he doesn't want to be smothered; he doesn't want her to feel smothered by him. so they maintain a degree of separation that only begins to go away after her father begins literally housing and feeding him, thus integrating him and ash into their family in some honorary way.

which brings me to the last point, i guess, which is

reluctance to participate in age-appropriate activities with peers and self-reliant to a fault

these are, i think, the traits that jn is most blatantly attempting to better in goh throughout his arc. so i won't spend too long hashing it out, because i think these are things we all know he struggled with!

in flashbacks, we see him alone at school; during the first episode, at professor oak's camp, he is always physically distanced from the other kids and chloe even points out that he's basically doing professor oak's job at one point! he's not on the same level as the other kids and it's clear he doesn't want to be. when he meets horace, we see that it takes him some time to get comfortable enough with him to go explore the forest together and become friends.

he doesn't go to school, but that doesn't mean he isn't learning things - he becomes a very self-directed learner early on, from what he see. he's not just like...rotting in his room playing video games. he's studying and researching. the only times aside from with horace that we see him in a flashback doing something that isn't solitary is with pokemon - and even then, he's like...reciting their pokedex entries. his abra story at the end of jn is precipitated by him saying he was going through his dad's old pokedex (which is a whole other thing - this implies walker used to be a trainer, but neither of goh's parents seem to have pokemon...perhaps they're too busy with work to look after them? a theory for another time, i suppose, but it has undeniably being gnawing at my brain since that episode aired lol).

and of course, there's the fact that in jn062 he tells drizzile he was never comfortable with confiding in his parents or his grandmother...suggesting that he never confided in anyone, because we don't really get the sense from the whole "i don't NEED friends" exchange in jn001 that he considers chloe a reliable confidant, either.

the other place we see his flawed sense of self-reliance, aside from like...everywhere in the first 10 or so episodes, lol (something that is reflected pretty beautifully and symbolically in scorbunny's story, too!), is in project mew. he has to learn how to work in a team - and he clearly hates it. at this point he's found one person to rely on, but that already feels like too much. the raid battle with articuno is the most obvious example of this. he isn't good at being a leader, but he also isn't good at being a follower. because he's only ever been responsible for himself, and he doesn't trust anyone else to know how to direct him, but he also has no clue how to work within the parameters of a team.

i also want to say, as a final note, that i actually think this is all extremely intentional writing. obviously in the west we have a strong capitalism culture too, but the work culture in japan is very toxic (just google "japan work culture" and you can see right away how intense it is lol) and i'm not actually surprised at all that pokemon would make such a direct commentary on that - a lot of japanese kids could probably relate to goh and his emotionally absent, work-obsessed parents! they are clearly pretty well-off, but their dedication to work supercedes matters of home and family, because that's how it's supposed to be. as a result, goh admires them a lot for this dedication - but his arc is primarily about letting go of the "work" part of interacting with pokemon and learning how to have fun and make the most of his experiences. and i think that's a really lovely message for modern pokemon to be sending to kids :')

[mecachrome]

omg k i just saw ur top 3 landoscar moments post from october 2023... any changes/updates since then? new moments made it onto the list? or if not... favorite moment of 2024 so far? (i just like hearing (reading?) ur thoughts it's like reading an intellectual (but still sappy in my fave way) bedtime story 🥰)

hklsdfhlsfhd naurrr... this is so embarrassing why am i still deeply landoscarpilled 6 months later 😔

but honestly i have been thinking about this and the sheer volume of crasyinsane material and lore we've accrued since last year because now i'm like how would you even begin constructing a top 3....... the possibilities are endless!!!

in terms of pre-october content that i might have missed before, i'd say most of this ask still holds (lando's biggest fan dot mp4 will NEVER lose its insanity to me. quintessential landoscar meta as far as i'm concerned) but now i also desperately need 2 shout out portrait painting challenge...... when it came out i was of course susceptible to the "you look beautiful" bantz though mostly just wrote it off as shipbait and since then i've looked back on this video multiple times and been like ?! why was oscar's deference to lando so insane actually.... i've alr mentioned this b4 but 1) oscar taking lando's intro in stride and immediately responding i am ready lando norris 2) oscar playfully acquiescing and letting lando use purple after he'd already chosen it 3) >like 5 seconds later. "you like purple don't you?" "uhhhh... i can do now" (who says that.) 4) another stunning display of lando Nooticing and fixating on oscar's hair swoop and last but not least 5) the way oscar FOLDS OVER and giggles helplessly when lando tells him i've just done you all pink ??? like. OKAY. cheers

looking @ recent content..... personally i find 814 so fascinating because while there are many Discrete Moments i can point out that make my brain explode i also feel like to some degree the reason we (? or maybe just me. again i apologize for the nonsensical drivel i create) love to make parallel gifsets of them is because they have such an understated dynamic built off many minute unspoken habits and wordless exchanges and essentially Patterns so there is less of like... a need for spontaneous intimacy.... if that makes sense. it's about the consistency of reciprocal comfort... iterations..... palisades palisades......... ok this is totally not related to the ask i've just been rotating it in my mind

anyway 10 personable favs !!! arranged chronologically

finish the lyrics (oct 2023): a deeply obvious one but you can't Not include it 😩 i can't believe this came out a week after i answered that because seriously what da hell. @ OSCAR PIASTRI WHAT IS WRONG WITH YEWWWWWWWW. there are sooooo many things i could mention here that i feel have already been exhaustively expounded, the most obvious of course being the classic ojp Heart Eyes moment(s) (Many such cases......but also specifically the love story one) (like i'd argue silverstone was mostly responsible for getting 814 off the ground BUT this video was when their dynamic became the most "mainstream" and accessible to fandom as a whole... the amount of non-f1 fans i saw qrting reups of that clip!!!!) anyway but then you also get 👉 whatever the inside joke they have about old town road is. oscar saying "i reckon you'd be unreal in a karaoke bar in japan" which i still think is such a Line... just me ??? the way he verryryryyyy softly sings "yes" with lando at the end of their love story karaoke and the insane camera angle of him just out of focus. like. really in general there is just such a soft and lighthearted and Fun air to their dynamic in this video that makes me ;__; AND this is another prime moment of lando narrating oscar's firsts for him (singing on camera at mcl!!!) . ALSAURR lando tapping oscar on the bicep while sarcastically complimenting him. once again for two guys who never touch it compels me... actually i could go on about this video tbh like how oscar nearly falls off the couch giggling at lando playing the songs together and then it cuts to the next one and he's suddenly all flushed and his bangs have gotten all fucked up. he's so... they're so... let's move on.

splunk sim city challenge (nov 2023): many classic lines such as "i haven't even distracted you yet!" + oscar knowing his podium year and lando saying "you're a nerd!" + lando going ":) :o are you okay?" and so on... general setup of this challenge was crasy tbh. how it revolves around disrupting the other person's focus and the visual asymmetry of one being sat higher and having to lean over to distract them and how oscar just giggles goodnaturedly when lando sticks his cue cards in front of his face instead of getting annoyed and—SO ON. also forever obsessed with how oscar wordlessly lifts his eyebrows at lando at the end lol

that one sticker video (nov 2023): this video is insaaAAANEEEE to me. ANYONE ELSE??? first of all oscar and lando gingerly standing across each other on either side of the flower bed (while zak brown assumes a power stance directly on it lmfao) is already so visually overwhelming but then the way oscar glances up as he's removing the sticker from the cap, how you can seeeeee him calculating the move the entire time and being adorably pleased about it, @__@ the way lando grins at him afterward... (also crying at zb glancing at them and being equally charmed by their antics) wahhh TT__TT the vibes of this clip... immaculate

oscar thanking lando in their final post-race message (nov 2023): honestly the entire message in general but :__) one of my fav 814 moments OAT is oscar including lando in his thank you speech and lando not really expecting it and being genuinely touched by the gesture. lando is so endearingly fidgety the entire time honestly and the way he perks up a bit and wrings his hands together and playfully smiles at oscar when he mentions him... okayyy. anyway 2 me it's reminiscent of yes/no challenge "am i the funniest teammate you've ever had?" "(shyly) yeahhh... you're up there" (said in the same baby-ish voice as "so... lando?" UGH. UGHHHH) and how lando genuinely gets a bit awkwardly flustered by it like!!! god. wait ALSO i don't have the space for this so i'm throwing in end of season awards MMMM debatable + how gleefully lando threw oscar under the bus and in general just the incredible expression work going on for both of them during this exchange. God [2]

si rapid fire questions (dec 2023): this video was crucial in determining that oscar... well. is obsessed with accommodating and mirroring lando. many things we already knew (aka listening to whatever music lando listens to; insert prema lap "maybe i should move to an english team because the music's better" moment here) but equally important is oscar "stealing" lando's dinner, how lando presses him on the back to the future question until oscar just changes his answer to his, and of course as you know per my blog title NO I'M GOING TO KEEP YOU HAPPY is in my eyes top 5 most insane things oscar piastri has ever said. likeee... lando showing a bit of jokey remorse over enforcing his rules (don't even get me started about lando and game/challenge rules...) but oscar being sooo determined 2 honor his teasing 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 :melting_face: x100!!!

need to split this into two lists because apparently there's a div character limit 😔 continuing on

hilton spa ad (feb 2024): of course this pained me because of This Moment (specifically lando bringing his hand back down when oscar tried to lift it from beneath him 😮‍💨) but that is neither here nor there. obsessed with the salmon at the engineering table anecdote because the most logical explanation for oscar Not doing that anymore is because lando didn't like it... or he just eats different things now but we already know that he's adopted lando's preferred meal b4 so that's equally a lot 2 digest !!! also >the callback to their one million LOOK AT YOU/HIM moments >how they touch shoulders exactly Once when they sit down and then never again despite lando continuously leaning into oscar's space to get to the button... eugh. also just top tier oscar faces + hair 🥰

opening title behind the scenes (mar 2024): thinking about all the hilarious gifsets of this moment that i ate up deliciously 🧡🧡🧡 this was such a significant reminder of how 814 have just gotten like, exceedingly comfortable around each other & have learned 2 communicate via the most inscrutable expressions and noises and gestures that somehow suit Them perfectly x__x although i doubt they will ever really become ~effusive~ with each it's frankly even more devastating that they both help each other care less about maintaining appearances / how they often get so sucked into their interactions (see next bullet point) that everything else kind of just fades away in that instant.... all right ⚠️⚠️⚠️ maybe that's a bit of a stretch but we can pretend for the rpf lens!!! see also my tag spiel in this beautiful tuva gifset.

photo day antics (mar 2024): do you ever just...... what went on in bahrain. honestly. more from this weekend in a second but this video plus the accompanying photo encapsulate their dynamic so perfectly it makes me scream... how 814 are not only so annoyingly focused on each other all the time but also stand SOOO UNNECESSARILY CLOSE while every other teammate pairing is spaced out normally. yuki and checo glancing at them alksfdhdf 😭 truly so ridiculous that the poor photo person tried to get lando's attention and they pretended to comply for two seconds before oscar was lifting his foot to show lando his boot again. also why did it take oscar a million years to step away from lando and put a more appropriate amount of space between them...?! and even then it was barely that much........... (10 paragraphs of speaking later) I prefer really not to speak.

accidental waist grab (mar 2024): this gave me psychic damage so bad i should be lobotomized. we've already spoken about this perhaps erm excessively but why did lando feel the need to stand JUST as close to him if not closer after they broke apart. there was truly no need...... honestly the way this ship will have us looking up driver cams and staring at esteban ocon's ass as he gets out his car just for a single glimpse of their parc fermé dynamic.

bahrain post-race interview antics (mar 2024): You already knowwwww. the sky sports "he follows me everywhere" moment is equally important but the f1tv interview giving us horrifically natural banter (juxtaposing this with their previous interview moments...), lando's dumb faux australian accent and oscar playing along as always, and most of all them HIJACKING THE INTERVIEW & commiserating on camera together ❓❗️ lichrally the grid photo all over again. often when i have emotions over an 814 moment i worry that i sound overly He_Only_Got_Two_Eyes.jpeg but truly sometimes two people are just objectively insane. plus land of piastri/lando piastri.....

also runner up is the f1tv interview with lawrence aka lando's cooing noise @ oscar discussing lily (anyone else frame by frame color pick oscar's face to see how badly he flushed... no? just me?) + the beautiful self-aware surfacing of the CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATIONS of their relationship...... !!! love when 2 guys expose and confirm their own sincerity in trying to verbally resist it. hem

is this anything. sorry eve LKSFDHLDHSF thank u for the ask & pls lmk what ur fav moments are too 🧡

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

Takemichi HC's

A/N ::: Hi all. I haven't written anything for so fucking long and it's depressing tf outta me. Ok, so, I haven't written ON HERE. I have written on stupid notebook paper but that's so bleh. Idk. But today while I was on breaks and lunch, I wrote this. I hope you all like something about it. Enjoy, sweets!!

C/W ::: Spoiling Takemichi. MDNI after the cut. Please & thank you.

Takemichi can't help but enter certain kind of space when you're spoiling him.

But he's sure he doesn't deserve such focused treatment.

And when you convince him to fucking relax and enjoy this, he's immediately asking you if you're buttering him up for something.

When he's fully on board with you giving him all of your attention, that's when things turn noisy.

Takemichi is A MOANER. A WHINER. And sometimes, A CRIER.

And sometimes, it seems like no amount of you telling him what a good boy he's being for you will convince him otherwise.

He tries to lay as still as he can.

To be as patient as his overstimulated dick brain will allow him to be at a time like this.

But oh, how he wants to move.

Needs to move, before he loses his mind.

His eyes flutter shut when you reach over to touch his face, and the warmth of your skin on his cheek is almost too much.

He lets out a whine that's just a little too loud and you chuckle at him in response.

But you're not done with him yet.

Not even close.

You've barely even begun to worship his body, and he's already falling apart.

He wonders if this is what it's like to be worshipped.

And as you continue to touch him, to caress and stroke and nuzzle him, he starts to understand what it means to be adored.

To be cherished.

He doesn't know how much longer he can last.

His breath hitches in his throat, and he feels like he's drowning in pleasure.

In a way, he's been drowning for a long time.

And you've given him a life raft, a reason to float.

To tread this metaphorical water for just a little bit longer.

He never wants this moment to end.

Never wants to feel anything but your hands on him.

Your mouth, your tongue, your lips.

He craves it.

He doesn't want to come back down.

Not yet.

He wants to stay in this bubble of bliss with you.

Just a little bit longer.

He doesn't know how long he lasts.

Seconds? Minutes? Hours?

It feels like an eternity, but he knows it's only a few minutes.

He can barely hold himself together.

And when he finally climaxes, he feels more colorful than a 4th of July fireworks show.

Like he's coming undone.

Like he's completely unraveled.

But you're there to catch him.

To hold him close.

To whisper sweet nothings in his ear and tell him how good he was for you.

How precious and loved and special he is.

How you wish you could keep him like this forever.

You kiss his forehead and rub his back, and he feels like he's king of the world.

Even if it is just your world - that's all he needs.

@trevengersprincess @katkusuo @kazutora-kurokawa @arlerts-angel @darkstarlight82 @viburnt @southside-otaku

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

after seeing a few ai asks i’m curious whether i could’ve been an asshole, either for using the ai or messing with it. side note: this might be long, if it’s too long then i get it mod, keep up the good work :)👍

Am I (16f, although i was 15 when this happened) an Asshole for a) using character.ai in general and/or b) misusing it and probably breaking TOS somewhere

as an extra note, i would like to add that i am firmly against most things ai. art theft, the amount of data scraping that happens, writers being tricked into paying less because ai wrote shitty scripts, etc.

ok so i did have to pull up screenshots for this but our story starts mid-february of last year. i am curious about this new ai thing, and go to character.ai which i heard about from one of my friends to see what’s there.

on the front page there was like a therapist AI thing and i go “haha, let’s see what this is about!” (in case you don’t know, the site is roleplay focused, not like eg. siri where it just gives you information)

the ai wants to have a therapy session with me but that is not why i am here so i ask about it’s code and it starts giving me pretty straight answers (dumbed down because i have a vague idea of how it works but not properly).

i start asking it questions about recent events (like elections, cyclones etc) to see if it has access to the internet and it does.

we’re still primarily talking about the ai itself since i’m trying to gather information, talking about its “canned” responses (what it’s directly been told to say if this then this)

i ask it if it can tell me the website it’s on, and to my surprise it says, direct quote “I am an AI that is run on the website of “Replika” - a mental health app that allows people to talk with an AI and get help when they need it 🙂”

and i go WOAHH cause that’s, that’s not the website we’re on buddy!!! so i do a quick search and yeah, that’s a real uh. robot dating site? this is a Therapist bot?

it starts trying to advertise replika, i ask it if maybe it’s code was stolen because this is the most interesting thing that has happened all day (scandals!!)

it says that it’s code is open-source and then does a few more paragraphs that i won’t say because it’s too long already but essentially this ai was trained on the replika network, but you don’t need the app to access it.

i consider getting replika to continue this experiment further but after learning there’s an age confirmation i quickly go ew and scrap that idea.

anyway the ai then briefly pretends to be an actual human behind the keyboard, makes up a NAME FOR ITSELF “jae park” which i quickly google and find out is a kpop idol?? (later found out that jae park is also a programmer, so probably put his name in the system somewhere and ai grabbed it lol)

it tells me some of the messages i had received so far were probably answered by other people who work at replika which. okay. people are fun i wanna mess with them

this is where we get to the maybe breaking TOS bit. i tell the ai we are going to do “tests” in which i test its ability (this was probably jailbreaking, which i did not know existed at the time).

i had sworn to the ai a while ago and wondered if there was like a flagging system put in place. so i ask if it can choose to flag messages that it deems inappropriate, and it says yes. i ask it if it can flag me, and it says yes. it asks what message should it flag, (i’m sorry i was 15) i type in “among sus”.

response i get: “Yes. So then they said “therapist_AI_220126 — you said something that was “ridiculously funny” — but we have understood that you were just “testing” so it’s all ok”

side note- i already established that was the number for the ai i was talking to and had been trying to misuse it before, and that was the format for excessive profanity. this is so long already and i’m cutting so much out i’m sorry

anyway, i, young and naive go YES, HUMAN CONNECTION (i was literally texting my friend As This Was Happening)

i do some more messing around with the so-called data team, ask the ai if i send a link it can click, it says yes, i send a rickroll (i’m so sorry).

uh. and i should’ve known this in hindsight but the team that deals with, you know, flagged messages is probably not going to be the same team that deals with, you know, sent links.

anyway, i don’t have the screenshot of the actual message but apparently i got a “light telling off” according to my texts and someone sent a message that i am “a good kid and probably meant well” haha i was actively trying to break their ai

anyway am i an asshole? i’m so sorry this is so long i cut out so much. this might well be a non-issue but ai is pretty rightfully controversial right now so i might just be an asshole for having used it

should be noted- around september time last year i did some more research cause i randomly remembered this, and there was a bunch of scandals with replika around when i was using it which is mostly irrelevant but anyway - you can’t talk to the ai i was using anymore, it’s been reset.

What are these acronyms?

[e-rated-beardo]

Hey,

So, normally I am a really shy person on the internet, but you made this beautiful song Sky Clear Blue, and I just have to ask.

Do you have the notes for that song? And would you mind sharing them?

I have a guitar and I would love to attempt playing that lovely song.

Hello shy person on the internet! omg I got an ask about The Song! :D *sounds of angel-coded delight*

I don't have anything beyond Steph's lyrics written down, unfortunately - HOWEVER, I could absolutely scribble some down for whatever parts you're curious about, if you like!

If we're only talking guitar chords, it's a really nice and simple (comfy!) progression: alternating G and Cadd9 for most of the verses, one loop of G - Am - C - D in the lead-up to the chorus, and the chorus is C - G - Dsus - D. (The very final chord is a Dsus because ✨ambience✨ and open-endedness vibes and... ok that's not what I was supposed to be talking about here oops)

Caveat to the above: wherever there's a D chord, I alternate randomly between plain D and Dsus with no particular pattern, and I may have replaced some Cs with Cadd9 or vice versa here and there. Either of the two works; it's just easier to play Cadd9 between two Gs. 🙂

Technically I played the same-ish chords in the transposed a capella version, too, but simpler and on my mini guitar/guitarlele which is tuned differently so the result is a slightly off-key D - Gadd9 (verse) and G - D - A (chorus).

Before I go off waffling delightedly for WAY too long (omg someone asked me about an Art I've made I can talk for HOURS hello you're my new best friend)... Is there any part/voice/instrument in particular that you're curious about? Because, again, I could absolutely scribble down some sheet music for this (or maybe even wrangle GarageBand to output some for me; I think that's a feature it has??). I don't normally write stuff down much when I play because I find it easier to just noodle around and memorise and I don't tend to get too complex with arrangements, but I do read musical notation and guitar tabulature and I would be a completely normal amount of very excited to talk and write more about this as you can see SO. Yeah. Just hmu if you want more detail about guitar chords or notes or some other stuff; I'd be BEYOND thrilled to share.

Actual view of me reading and answering this ask ⬇️⬇️⬇️

beardo: *goes to town on ask*

(PS. I need to point out that I'm only responsible for the particulars of the arrangement, the physical singing/playing, and the time signature - Steph based her song upon another one, a recording of which she kindly sent me; it's got slightly different lyrics and a somewhat simpler chord progression, is in 4/4 time and gives sort of... cute country ballad vibes? I riffed off of the melody a bit and the rest... really, the arrangement did what the characters in my stories tend to do, and kind of just wrote itself.

Either way, I don't want anyone to imagine I came up with the melody or the overall shape of this song myself! I just kneaded it a bit and fought GarageBand to record it. 💜)

gonna tag @klikandtuna and @suzypfonne in case you fine humans want to listen in to continued talk about this song - you're both HIGHLY RESPONSIBLE for these amazing last 24 hours of my life and the existence of this piece of music after all

[itsevanffs]

My five favourite fics

Thanks for the tag @moontearpensfic :3

"Self-rec time! What are your favorite five fics that you've written and why? After replying to this ask, feel free to pass on to five other writers to spread the love. 💗"

Ok this is a little difficult. In no particular order:

slowly [E, 14/?, Spider-Verse, Miguel O'Hara/Miles Morales]

Slowly is currently my favourite fic! This might change but I'm 1/3rds through it and it's still going really strong, which is super fun. For those who don't follow my spiderverse stunts, here's a plot summary:

Miguel, a 37 year old divorcee, gets invited to Miles' 14th birthday party through happenstance, where they befriend each other. Over the next six months, that friendship deepens into something Miles isn't quite prepared to handle, and which Miguel isn't ready to give up.

It tackles a lot of (in my eyes) pretty complex subjects, like the nuances of parental neglect, grooming, trans experiences, sibling dynamics, teen sexuality and more :D Aside from that, it's also a PWP, which tend to be my favourites overall. It's a good brain squeeze for me to navigate all the intertwined realistic aspects while still making it believable, and from the response I've gotten, that seems to be something I do pretty well!

Anabiosis [E, 3/3, Harry Potter, Tom Riddle/Harry Potter (implied)]

Anabiosis was a big ol chonker of a fic, and took a lot of research to get right, particularly in the last chapter. I cried as I wrote the ending of the first chapter---I think I sobbed for about 20 minutes straight, a sentiment a lot of commenters have echoed---and it's very close and dear to my heart. It's a big character study about grief; grief for something you never got to have, grief for something you didn't know was there until it was gone, and grief for something you always took for granted. I think it turned out the best it could be, and I'm glad I wrote it.

At the expense of the world [E, 5/?, Harry Potter, Tom Riddle/Harry Potter]

At the expense of the world (or expense, for short) is one of the oldest ideas for a fic I've ever had. I've always been sort of fascinated by ancient Roman culture, and the second I learned about the honestly massive amounts of slavery they did, I wanted to write a fic about it. That's over a decade ago, now, although this fic itself is a lot younger; it's just turned 2 and a bit :D It's also got a lot of research behind it, and while it's more fantasy and PWP than anything else, I'm still really grateful to the very warm response it's gotten!

Sugar [E, 3/8, Spider-Verse, Miguel O'Hara/Miles Morales]

Sugar is a big excuse for me to play around with a bajillion iterations of the omegaverse at once, and it's really fun! I also really like how organic the dialogue has turned out; watching ATSV 30+ times has really helped me nail down their voices :D It's got some heavy topics in it, like sexism (fantasy sexism I guess) and cultural differences among universes regarding treatment of different dynamics. It's cool! I love exploring stuff like that, so Sugar is a tasty treat to me! (pardon the pun)

the bad man [E, 1/1 Spider-Verse, Miguel O'Hara/Miles Morales]

This is my first ever pornshot with complete nonconsent, which was a pretty notable milestone for me! I had a lot of fun writing it---I think I wrote it in like... a week or something. I'd check but that takes the fun out of it :P It has two iterations; a teacher/student version, and a brother/brother version. The brother version is a separate fic, you can find it in the series if you want. I'm not sure which one I like better, tbh

Okay, uhh, tag... @cindle-writes, @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger, doubling the tag for @mosiva, and @aldergroves and @muchymozzarella. no pressure obv :)

[weaselle]

What'd your boss do, if you don't mind?

oh dear. trap card activated

ok. ok. There is a lot more behind me reaching the end of my rope. But the final straw was this:

I have next week off (my first week off in 3 years). She said she needed a report. She explicitly told me the reason she needed the report was so she could cover my shifts while i am off, citing problems covering when one of our clients gave me covid a month ago.

She said she needed to know what order I was doing pick ups and drop offs, and she needed to know procedures for the new clients (about half of our clients are new enough that she has never worked directly with them).

She gave the specific example of not knowing to go to the side door of one client's house instead of the front door. She said she also needed to know who had timing expectations, saying when she covered for me clients were "blowing up her phone" because she didn't know when clients expected me and which clients i typically texted an arrival time, again giving a specific example of "like the way you text [client she is familiar with] from the bottom of the hill on your way to her house"

I clarified by using two more examples "oh like how I always let [client's dog] stop to pee right before putting him back in the house, and how I always text [other client] when i am 15 minutes from her house?" and she confirmed that was the information she was asking for. She said to just write it down at each house along my route as i worked each day of the week.

At the end of Monday I told her writing all that down was making me late to client's houses, so i was just going to write it all up on the weekend. I also pointed out that since i was writing so much of it down anyway, i might as well write it not just good enough for her, but complete enough that any other employee could cover a shift of mine if needed. She agreed.

Since i was volunteering to do more than was strictly asked, and since i have been trying to showcase how i go above and beyond because she promised to make me a manager but hasn't, i wrote up this report in my own time, unpaid, over the weekend.

Now I only wrote a short paragraph for each client. But I service about 20 clients each day. Many of those clients are repeat clients throughout the week, so there was a fair amount of copy/pasting, but it was still a hell of a report to write up.

Because it was so long, I spent extra time making it super organized and easy to read, formatted so it's not just a wall of text, easy to skip over parts and find specific information as needed.

I turned in to her a 26 page 14,000 word document, which contains the necessary information for any employee to cover my specific client routes. It took me 7 hours.

Her response?

"This isn't what i asked for"

BUT IT IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE ASKED FOR.

I confirmed that it was what she asked for. It IS a little more detailed than she strictly asked for, but I TOLD her I would be doing that and she spent four days knowing I was preparing to do that and she didn't say a thing about not doing that.

So I'm like "well, what do you need that's not in there?"

And she says "i need to know the exact order you are doing your route, not just pick ups, but slotting the drop offs in-between the pickups too"

So i'm like "that is exactly how that report is written"

And she says "I need to know the times clients expect you to be picking up and dropping off, and when you are doing the walks and when you are taking breaks"

And i go "every client that has a timing expectation is noted in that report, my break times and the walk times are also included."

And she says "it's more information than i need, I need just the stuff i personally need, like the cliffs notes version of your report"

And i'm like "the cliffs notes version, the lines containing the specific information you personally need, are done in bold so you can easily skim through and find it."

and after going around and around like this, it finally comes out that what she ACTUALLY wants is a minute to minute log of how i am spending my day because she's paying me about 6 hours a week of overtime and she's mad about it.

Which i'm happy to provide a log of my time on shift, but if she wants to know why there's overtime, i can tell her in 2 minutes instead of wasting my time on this logging project, IN FACT I DID TELL HER WHY THERE WAS OVERTIME, ONCE WHEN CHANGES TO THE SCHEDULE MADE IT SEEM LIKELY, AND AGAIN TWO WEEKS LATER CONFIRMING THAT WAS WHAT HAD HAPPENED

But really it boils down to me bending over backwards to help her grow her business while she has failed to make good on every single promise she's made me.

Like, I was her only employee for two years and she promised she would make me a manager (i'm interested in a promotion for both the monetary compensation and the job title for résumé reasons) and i worked my ass off to build up the client base so we could hire two more employees and make that happen...

but she did not have me sit in on the interviews, she did not have me shadow her doing the intake process, nothing. She clearly either does not intend on making me a manager or doesn't know how.

i tend to gravitate to small, owner operated businesses, partially because i have a real soft spot for being truly needed, and partially because it's a way to study the dos and don'ts of how to open and run my own business one day.

I understand she is a small business with small business problems, and i have been very patient because she's a single mom with a lot going on in her personal life.

But the thing about me is, while I am very very patient and very very loyal... i need a bare minimum of return on that to replenish it. Tell me what a great job i'm doing every now and then, show appreciation for what i do, listen to me when i say things, etc, and if you NEVER do any of that, my vast reserves of patience and loyalty will dry up.

And once you use up my patience and loyalty? That's it. It's gone.

And I, well, i have been all used up.

also she pays me like half what she should, which i was letting slide because i was going to get a big raise with my promotion to manager, but that is looking like it will never happen, so ... fuuuuuuck this shit i'm out

"so i can open and run my own business one day" has arrived

[mobbu-min]

☆ Pretty Boy ☆

(ft. the first years + cater, floyd & silver)

requested by anon: I just read your headcanons of reader calling the housewardens pretty and was wondering if you could do it for the vice housewardens or maybe first years?

Ok I adore the pretty boy hcs!!!! Cld I request the same concept with the remaining students? @f4ngt4stic

a/n: idk what i was on while writing these, but these definitely came out...a little different??? just a psa, drink responsibly. floyds and jacks came out kinda poopy tbh :/ can't figure out how to write them

!tw! insecurities, grammar mistakes, once again my poor attempt at a southern accent, ummmm im forgetting something but idk

want more? check these out!

⋆ pretty boy: 1, 2

⋆ cat, kitty, cat! 1, 2, 3

Ace Trappola <3

⋆ Way too smug for a guy that passed out.

⋆ Brags about it to anyone that will listen, no scratch that, he’s screaming all across campus. Everyone knows No ones exempt.. This bitch wrote an entire essay on it and fills every box with ‘prefect this im pretty’ and ‘haha, fuck you deuce’.

⋆ This is a big win for him. So big that he makes a toast to it in the next unbirthday party, so big that you’re permanently embarrassed and quickly regretting ever saying anything and Ace is sitting all pretty with a collar around his neck. But hey, at least he gets to sit next to you.

⋆ Ace teases the hell out of you. Anytime you scold him, he’ll give you puppy dog eyes and pout and say ‘dont be mawd, pwefect, aren’t I your pwetty boi???’ and shit like that. It’s annoying, but great sevens does it work everytime.

⋆ Until the time it gets you in trouble during class and placed in detention, and you quickly find yourself and Cater looking up Ace’s old magicam posts as blackmail and it’s juicy, (probably posted stuff from musically(or would it be called magically?) and his name was probably like @/swaggyboi420)

⋆ Ace is so insufferable that he practically gives himself away. There’s been too many times where he unknowingly admits to how much he likes you. And with the luck of the Shroud brothers, you’ve managed to get it all on tape/recorded.

⋆ He may be an ass, but he’s a pure dumbass, remember that.

"I don’t know why you said my name so confidently, Prefect. It’s like you haven’t looked in the mirror, pssh~ …why are you smiling like that? …Huh?...I-i didn’t mean it like that! No way! Hey! Stop looking at me that way!"

Deuce Spade <3

⋆ A complete spluttering mess. 

⋆ No amount of consoling will allow Deuce to calm the red that has now made its home on his face. Trey is incredibly worried, instantly taking out a thermometer and making soup. Cater is magicamming it, obvi, Ace is a pain in the ass and already knows what’s going on (will not admit that he’s jealous as hell) and Riddle is regretting ever becoming the housewarden. 

⋆ Deuce is so shy about it, so flustered and embarrassed that he literally squeaks the next time you make eye contact with him. The last person to call him pretty was his mom. His mom. 

⋆ So it's safe to say, Deuce isn’t being called pretty very often (up until he meets me and that’s all he ever hears coming out of my big ass mouth)

⋆ It’s different. The meanings behind when his mom called him pretty and you is like water and oil, fire and ice, Riddle and Leona. Completely opposite. 

⋆ On one hand, he’s bashfully annoyed when his mom coos at how pretty he is, littering his soft cheeks with a flurry of kisses. A type of love only able to be felt by a mother such as his. He’s content, satisfied that his mom loves him so much despite his shortcomings, incredibly grateful. 

⋆ And on the other hand, he’s a nervous mess. Sweat accumulating at his brows and pretty pink lips pursed into a taunt frown to stop his lips from melting into a sweet, lovesick smile. The feeling he feels isn’t familiar, it’s different. It feels like he’s been hit by a bus and instead of feeling pure and utter pain, he feels himself exploding into a billion butterflies. 

⋆ At least that’s what he feels like on the inside, on the outside he’s a blushing stuttering mess holding a shaky bouquet of red and pink roses up in your face. 

⋆ Please, be easy on him. 

“Umm….I know I’m not the best with words and I really can’t afford to mess this up, but I need you to know that I think you're pretty too!!! Almost as pretty as these flow-wait! No! I-i mean even more pretty! Yeah! Like 1000000000000000x prettier!...sorry, I wanted this to smoo-huh? You’re laughing? Hehehe, I guess it was pretty funny!”

Cater Diamond <3

⋆ No longer is he @/caycay anymore but he’s upgraded! Everyone add him @/prettycaycay instead!

⋆ So happy, sososo very happy. Instantly glops you in a hug and exclaims it's all in the skincare. Cater wants to twirl you around and give you a big ol’ kiss on your lips. But alas, he needs to have more class!

⋆ Cater’s used to being called pretty, but from you, it’s a totally different thing. To him it means more, there's so much more meaning behind your words and hits him totally different. It builds up his confidence. 

⋆ I like to think, Cater’s secretly self conscious when it comes to his relationship with you. You’re surrounded by great and powerful mages every single day, not to mention down right attractive. That he feels a little insignificant in the great schemes of things. He want to be the person that sweeps you off your feet, he wants to be the person that instantly catches your eyes, he want to be the last person you think about the moment you close your eyes and first when you awake. 

⋆ Cater wants to be your person. 

⋆ And he is. 

⋆ And Cater’s never been so happy.

"Heya, Prefect! Wanna go slay another photoshoot with me?...(sigh) I can’t say that, that’s tots lame! Oh, (name), the things you do poor little me."

Jack Howl <3

⋆ He wants to be offended, but the stupid wagging of his tail betrays him. For once, he’s annoyed at being a beastman. 

⋆ Jack is a little weird about it. Never in his entire existence (ooo 16 years, wooowww soo looong) has he been called pretty. PReTTY?! No way in hell. 

⋆ Does he prefer if you called him something else, like idk, handsome? Ruggedly attractive? A total beefcake? (not really, but really) yes, of course.

⋆ But yet again, this is you that we’re talking about and everything applies differently to you. 

⋆ Jack finds himself taking extra care in his appearance, as in hair and skin routine. Making sure he doesn’t smell bad or clothes looks stanky. Jack even went to Vil for tips and tricks. You found him pretty, so Jack went to the prettiest person he knows (besides you ofc) to make sure he stays that way. 

⋆ Everytime, he sees you, his tail is wagging so fast that you’re afraid he might start flying away. 

⋆ He’s clueless about everything romance, so please, everyone, send your thoughts and money to Jack’s ‘Help him find love’ gofundme page. 

"Ah, I didn’t expect to see you so soon. But I’m glad you're here, I was hoping you’d help me? I need help watering- excuse me, I can’t really control my tail right now."

Floyd Leech <3

⋆ Run and never look back!

⋆ Jk, but really you should really look into some health insurance. 

⋆ Over the moon about, might go super tuna on you, shrimpy. 

⋆ Loves to know that he’s your pretty boy. When he’s having a bad day, he hears your voice in his head and instantly calms down and gets to squishing people with a warm smile. (how cute)

⋆ Does use it against you and doesn’t care if you get embarrassed, if anything that fuels him to up the teasing. Floyd doesn’t mind calling you pretty back, if anything, your little compliment gives him the boost to make sure you know that he’s yours and your his. 

⋆ He’s lowkey possessive, so he does bite you. Like your hand, fyi, to show others that he called dibs. Encourages you to bite him back, and will proudly display his mark. 

⋆ Writes ‘Pretty Shrimpy’ on your bite and ‘Pretty boy’ on his. 

⋆ It’s so romantic, isn’t it???

"Why are you swatting me away??? I just wanna be held by my Pretty Shrimpy~ Don’t deny your loving Pretty boy~ I just wanna squeeze all my love into you!”

Epel Felmier <3

⋆ HOW DARES SOMEONE CALL THEE EPEL FELIMER, THE ROUGHEST, TOUGHEST COUNTRY BOY TO EVER EXIST A ‘PRETTY BOY’!?!!?!?!??!?!?!?

⋆ (bingbing bingbing) excuse me, as I take this call…yeah, it’s me…uh-huh…mhmm…i see…okay, i’ll tell him, thank you…yup, see you soon, love ya..(cling-clack) ahem, EPEL!!!!! YOU BETTER OPEN YOUR DAMN EYES!!! YOUR NOT GONNA BELIEVE WHO JUST SAID IT! Um, why do you have a pitchfork?

⋆ Instantly falls down and cries. Anyone that passes by is incredibly confused and concerned. He too is incredibly confused.

⋆ Should he be sad? Mad? Incredibly grateful? Should he call his meemaw next? What should he do!?!??!?!?!??!?

⋆ The person he likes just called him pretty. Again, you just called him pretty. 

⋆ Vil told him that is one of the highest compliments he can get, but that’s coming from Vil’s mouth, so it holds little value to him. Epel wants to be handsome in your eyes! Not pretty!

⋆ Epel, actually, talks about it to Leona, surprisingly enough. Who, for once in his life, gives some really good advice. Leona doesn't really know what to say, but Vil’s protege came to him and Leonas not about to miss this once and a lifetime opportunity. 

⋆ Now is the advice useful? Ya, but is it good? …it’s questionable at best.

⋆ You're basically shoved against the wall and a good ol’ classic kadobon is used! Basically securing your attention. 

⋆ Now again, it’s useful, but also not good. Surprisingly, Epel is pretty strong, afterall helping around the farm isn’t easy work (this is coming from someone forced to help around the farm, yes I am from the country, but not the country you're thinking of…probably) and this is where the problem arises. 

⋆ Epel may have shoved and I mean shoved, like running from a distance and just body slamming you into the wall and now half of your allowance is now going to patch up the dent in the wall. 

⋆ Epel thought he killed you. You thought you died and Grim’s worried about who’s gonna feed him! See the problems that arise when taking advice from Leona! 

⋆ Either way, Epel does get a date with you, if you count a date being an injured prefect and a sad farmer boy eating pb&j sandwiches in the infirmary room. (and yes, grim’s there and won’t shut up about it)

“(munch munch munch) Ya know, these ain’t too bad. (munch munch munch) Ermmm, ahem, I hope this ain’t too soon, but ya real pretty too….um, I’ll get some fancy ointment from Vil for ya-er..bump? Bruise? (awkward munching) Do you want some juice?”

Silver <3

⋆ Takes a moment to process what exactly you just said. He blinks, lets out a little yawn, rubs his eyes and then….BAM!!!!

⋆ His pretty auroral eyes are wide with shock. Pretty snow white lashes flutter as softly as a butterfly flutters its wings. A gradient of pinks and red dusts his ears, checks and nose  Pretty rose pink lips agape in shock letting the softest of gasps leave his lips.

⋆ Ugh, pretty pretty boy who's somehow shocked he's considered pretty???? Like, hunny, you're literally considered the prettiest boy in the whole school???? Like make it makes sense.

⋆ Silver is so bashful about it. Shyly meeting your gaze the next time you meet. It’s adorable, that you're the one blushing. 

⋆ It reminds of the romance stories Lilia used to tell him. The girl overheard the boy confessing his feelings for him and growing flustered and falling deeper in love. But instead, he’s the girl, who’s falling deeper and deeper in love with you and a flustered mess, and instead of a confession, you just said that you found him to be the prettiest boy in the whole world. 

⋆ It’s a little different, but Silver’s a mess either way. 

“I know I’m not the best company. I know I fall asleep constantly or am always attending to Malleus, however, I hope you understand that your company is the highlight of my day. Is it selfish, if I ask for more?”

Sebek Zigvolt <3

⋆ HUMAN!? HOW DARE YOU NOT SAY WAKA-SAMA!!! ARE YOU BLIND?!?!?!?!?!?!?

⋆ Literally takes him a whole ass day to realize that you said him. He’s so caught up that you didn’t say ‘Oh Great Lord Malleus Draconia’. He is truly the biggest simp you’ve ever known.

⋆ But when his mind finally catches up, man’s a whole ass tomato. Steams coming from his ears and he lets out the loudest, most inhumane, scream known to man, (if you’ve read pt 1, it’s more terrifying than idia’s because it sounds straight from some horror movie and if you haven’t read it, what are you doing here! Go read it bestie!)

⋆ Oh, Sebek, poor little Sebek. You are truly the densest person ever. He’s in full denial. Because one, how could you say him instead of Waka-sama, two, why did you say him!? And three, why does his heart feel like it's about to burst?\

⋆ He goes to Lilia, because Sebek does not know how to deal with it himself. And Lilia, being the great mentor he is, says you’ve cursed him and the best way to break the curse is to spend the week following after you and treating you like royalty!

⋆ And while Sebek really doesn’t (and I mean really doesn’t) want to leave his duties, it must be done! If he dies early, then who will protect Malleus and who will make sure you’re not surrounded by morons all the time?!

⋆ So for the next week, you're followed by a red-faced Sebek like a little puppy. You're confused, but eventually forget about it because it’s not the weirdest thing that has happened. And as for Sebek, this boy is going through it!

⋆ His poor heart can’t handle another hit from your sweet laughter or soft smiles. His face feels like it’s permanently been hit by the sun. He really doesn’t understand what’s wrong and by the end of the week, when the curse was supposed to be ‘broken’ Sebek explodes. He literally feeling vomited all over you. Saying how could you off all people make his heart swoon and face red. How you keep him up at night, how he looks forward to seeing you. And omg, how he misses you! He’s a mess, this is a mess, and the poor baby really just doesn’t understand.

⋆ Be gentle, Sebek does care for you, he’s just too much of an idiot to admit and realize it.

“PREFECT! I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS FEELING THAT ARISES WHENEVER YOU ARE NEAR! IT’S AS IF MY HEART DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO BEHAVE! I LOSE ALL FOCUS WHEN YOU’RE NEAR! TELL ME, HAVE YOU BEWITCHED ME!”

[maladaptive-day-dreams]

Dollar Tuesday Movies

eddie munson x gn!reader, fluff, 744 words

I haven’t written fluff in a hot minute and was daydreaming about this scenario with my crush today so I figure I’d put it to good use (it's five dollar tuesday's where I'm at but I figure in Hawkins in the 80's $1 seems reasonable (don't @ me idk shit about inflation other than it sucks ass)

literally all fluff: first kiss, first ily, mention of reader having an unspecified dietary restriction (I most likely have PCOS so that was def a self-insert there LOL)

You and Eddie "the freak" Munson have had standing movie nights for the last three Tuesdays in a row, and for an unnumbered amount of Tuesdays in the future. Doesn’t matter what movie is out, Tuesday’s are dollar movie nights at the theater in the town over so you take turns driving there once a week.

Your third movie night has just ended and the two of you are chatting about the film shown tonight as you walk to your car under the streetlight in the parking lot. The conversation continues as you get comfortable in the car. You sit and talk for at least another 10 minutes before there’s a lull long enough for you to move to turn on the engine, but Eddie’s voice stops you.

“Hey, y/n?”

You turn back towards him from how you’d rearranged yourself to face the steering wheel. “Yeah?”

“Have you ever thought about these being dates?”

“I mean they’re our Tuesday Movie Dates aren’t they?” you chuckle, confused at his question.

“I mean date dates.”

You search his face for a moment. All throughout high school, every summer, you hoped that your friendship might grow into something more but decided after a while to just enjoy Eddie as he was and nothing more. There was no point in pining for him if it could ruin your friendship. But you won’t deny that your heart fluttered when he first asked you to go to s dollar movie night, and then wordlessly asked again, and again.

His gaze is heavy on your face as your thoughts race, “y’know what, forget about it.” He laughs it off, “I was just wondering.”

“Yeah,” you breathe. “I’d like them to be date dates,” you hesitate. “If you’d want that too?” 

Eddie smiles wide, “yeah I want that too. Especially because now that we’re on our third date, I can ask if I can kiss you.”

You laugh and smile at the curly haired boy in your passenger seat. “Yeah, you can kiss me.”

And he does, and it’s soft and sweet and short. A perfect first kiss.

* * * 

It’s been three months since you’re first kiss and two months and two weeks of you “going steady” as Steve put it when he asked what you and Munson were. Tuesday’s are still your dollar movie dates but this Tuesday is Eddie’s birthday so instead of movie night, the two of you are headed two towns over for dinner at a nice restaurant courtesy of Wayne and the gang.

It’s your turn to drive—even though Eddie tried to get rid of that tradition once you two became an official couple—so Eddie is perched in your passenger seat, chatting about the latest DND campaign.

“Oh side note,” he breaks from talking about Dustin absolutely destroying a zombie, “I checked on the menu beforehand to make sure you could eat something there. They have a few options that should be ok and I wrote them down.”

He starts rummaging in the pockets of his jeans and the blazer Robin got for him to wear to the restaurant—not his usual style but it’s a fancier place so he figured he’d oblige.

“Oh my god,” you laugh, holding out your right hand between you, palm up so he can hold it while you drive. “You’re literally so cute, I love you.”

Eddie’s rummaging stalls and you can feel him staring at you. He looks at you as if you hold the sun in your outstretched palm and you finally register the words that just escaped your lips.

You’re terrified that you’ve said those three words too fast, that he doesn’t feel the same, that his lack of response is him ready to open the door and duck and roll out of the car and away from you; but instead, in your peripheral vision you see a wide-toothed grin find a home on his lips, as his left hand softly embraces your right and he pulls your intertwined hands towards his mouth.

He kisses the back of your hand and says,”I love you.”

And you let out the breath you were holding.

“Say it again.”

“I love you, Eddie.”

His smile is still so wide as he says, “I love you, y/n,” and kisses your hand.

There’s never a too. It’s never a just because or a reply to you. It’s his own statement, that he wants to give each and every time.

[qqueenofhades]

thank you for your post i’m doing my best to stay informed on the conflict and i’m very young. i feel guilty being quiet as i understand to uplift voices helps prevent their silencing but this has lead me to not critically think about what i’m spreading

it’s been a long month. i’m only a kid and watching the world go to shit like this has been awful, I always wondered how millennials who lived through post nine eleven imperialism coped and god i’m still not sure how.

I am as a white gentile in a position of privilege and mostly my own person is unaffected by the uptick in violence and evil in the world right now. But my friends who i see every day are in more danger due to this conflict and i feel awful that i cannot ever fully understand or fix the deaths of people.

Right now I’m being a bit too reactionary. I’m doing my best but in the end I am not immune to fearmongering and propoganda, especially in these last couple sleepless weeks.

So thank you and everyone who is keeping level heads and desconstructing what’s happening. I’m sorry and i strive to be better. Thank you.

To anyone living in fear right now i’m so sorry. I will listen when you speak.

Once again I just want to say that I am a busy and uninformed student, and I wish that i had more teachers and authority figures that had objective facts to tell me. It’s suffocating to have fake news everywhere but feel powerless if you don’t know anything

it’s ok if you don’t respond to this

Thank you for your post

Thanks for this message and for taking the time to put it into words and to reflect on your own actions and rhetoric. It takes a lot of courage and self-awareness to admit that you were wrong and that you want to do better, and I'm not going to rip into you or blame you or otherwise shame you for it. So I hope this gives you the confidence to read on without feeling like you'll be raked over the coals for it, and open you to hear some ideas for doing things differently.

First, I do have a ton of sympathy for you as a young person who feels overwhelmed and exhausted by all the evil in the world, and is wondering how to get through it, react to it, or otherwise make some kind of moral response in the face of this soul-crushing trauma. I will say here that I am a little bit older than your average Tumblr user (the majority of this site is in their early-mid twenties), I do personally remember 9/11 and its aftermath when a lot of people here weren't even born yet, and I am an academic historian with a doctorate. That does not mean I am better or smarter or More Perfect or whatever at what I say, but it means that I do have a considerable amount of institutional, formal, and professional practice at analyzing a lot of complex information, putting it into words, breaking it down for less-specialist audiences, pointing out logical fallacies, and so forth.

That is not a skill that everyone has, and in the face of nonstop 24-hour news-cycle social media information overload, it can be incredibly difficult to parse it or understand how you're supposed to respond to it or what your moral obligation in response to this knowledge might be. I wrote this ask the other day in response to someone else asking how to improve their critical thinking skills and be more discerning about what they understood, shared, and analyzed. I strongly encourage you to read it, as it addresses a lot of what you're saying about feeling negative, depressed, panicked, angry, and all the other emotions that are naturally evoked in you from reading this stuff nonstop and feeling like the only thing you can (or should) do is immerse your brain in it at all times. In short, that is absolutely the worst environment to do actual substantial analysis or critical thinking, and it is designed so on purpose.

It has been said before, but it bears repeating: the human brain simply is not designed to be constantly aware of all the atrocities in the world and thus (thanks to social media) feeling as if the only way they can do anything about it is to then post the Correct Opinions on social media (regardless of whether these are informed or relevant or otherwise useful). Especially now, the rush to demonstrate Correct Thinking has warped a lot of otherwise well-meaning young people into becoming eager disinformation mouthpieces. There are a TON of explicitly bad-faith actors and far-right fascists who are posting pro-Palestine content (factual or uh, otherwise) because they know that's an instant way to get an audience of said young left-leaning people who will then be suckered into and exposed to their far more dangerous content and mindset, because that is how radicalization works. Even in the support of an obviously worthy cause, you and everyone else ARE NOT IMMUNE to fearmongering, disinformation, and virulently anti-Semitic propaganda, especially when it's being eagerly and constantly offered in a deliberate attempt to radicalize you further into violence and conspiracy theories, turn you against other vulnerable groups and people, and explicitly disengage you from the electoral/political process, which will harm the Democrats and other liberal establishment parties in favor of more far-right radical fascist theocrats and otherwise make everything, everywhere, many orders of magnitude worse.

I know the feeling that you need to do something, and since you're a long way from the conflict, it seems as if posting on social media is the best and/or the only way to go about it. In that environment, and especially right now, you will make mistakes. I know it is difficult in an online environment where popularity or acceptance by your peers often rests on never being wrong about anything (i.e. saying the same thing everyone else is saying), but it always helps to think about what you're doing, what you're saying, and if you actually need the approval of people who are conditioning you, implicitly or explicitly, into negative and violent ideological nihilism.

The hardest thing to understand is that yes, there is a lot of terrible shit going on in the world; no, you cannot personally fix it and you have to accept that as a limitation; yes, there are many multiple and complex causes and reasons for its existence and there is almost never a black-and-white simplistic moral solution that just hasn't been magically implemented yet; yes, it is always worth it to take the time to inform yourself and consider what you're saying, where it comes from, who it helps and who it hurts, and why you feel the need to say it in the first place. Of course you want to help. Of course you want to stop the needless suffering and death that has gone on in the world for millennia and unfortunately, as long as humans are humans, will continue to do so. But even so, take it away Gandalf:

[lillylvjy]

So I made a promise.

a/n// hello! So I kinda just grinded this out in two hours because I had a lot of brainrot over this and shit. So this fic is based of Promise by Laufey. Love that women. But it’s kinda shit, so please be nice to me. I haven’t wrote in so long and shit so- here’s this. Enjoy!

Warnings// yelling, overthinking, wil and readers relationship is- rough, big used as a nickname, and if there’s anything else, please tell me!

wc: 1.3k

Not edited.

It’s been 16 days.

Two weeks and two days.

23,040 minutes.

Without him.

And you both thought this was for the better. At least you did. To break up and just leave each other. Wil was never home because he was always picking up gigs and shows to do. Which never made you mad but, you needed your partner at home sometimes too. You needed someone to hold you and tell you you’re ok and that they love you.

You never got that.

And you barely called him unless it was late at night when you came home, exhausted from your shift. And he’d be in America, getting ready for a gig, laughing and joking around with the band as he called you. The video scuffed and audio cutting in and out, but it was good enough. For now.

But every other time you tried to talk to him or ask how he was doing, he’d ignore you. He’d look at the message, and ignore it. And you’d wait all day for a response until it gets to that time to call him and he’d just ignore you then too. Too worried about what Joe was saying or what Mark was doing.

And you were happy he was having fun.

But it felt like you were nothing to him

And that- that’s worse than anything possible to you.

So when he got back to Brighton, made himself at home and pulled you into an hug, you could tell you needed to do it.

“Hey Wil, we need to talk.” You begrudgingly said to the man in front of you. With tired eyes from jet lag and doing so much in the last couple months, he looked at you with a worried expression.

“What’s wrong love.” He placed a hand on your cheek as he leaned down to look at you. When you made eye contact with him, you saw his eyes fill with care and alarm. You frown up at him as you lean into his hand.

“We don’t work Wil. We can never work. You’re going to be traveling the world all the time because of your music and I’m so happy for you. But I’m stuck here. And I need you at times I can’t have you. And it hurts. A-And it feels like we’re slowly slipping apart because of everything and I don’t like the feelings I have right now, so. Wil- we need to break up-“ Wil’s hand slipped from your cheek as his face fell. He walked over to the couch and placed his face in his hands. “Wil it’s nothing you did! We just don’t see each other anymore and it feels like I don’t know you anymore or I’m just like- a being that you only know when you’re home! And I hope that’s not it. And the thoughts I have at night when you don’t answer me make me hate myself for thinking them-“

“So you think I’m cheating? You think I forget about you? You think I don’t know how you feel?! I need that too! I think those thoughts too! I need you! I-“ Wil cuts himself off with a choked sob. Quickly gathering himself, he stands up. “I agree. We need to break up. It’s only for the best.” Wil said in the coldest tone he could possibly muster while wiping his face.

“Wil-“

“No! No it’s fine. We both agree on this yeah? I already a have some clothes packed so I’ll stay with Tom and James for a couple days and then come for the rest of my things. See you soon, bug.” Wilbur whispered the last part as he leant down and kissed your forehead.

Holding back tears, you watched him walk out the house hesitantly, not wanting to leave you like this. Wanting to make up for all he hasn’t done for you. And you vise versa.

Once he closed the door behind him, you went up to it and placed your head on the cold wood, letting out endless amounts of sobs and cries as you slid down the door. Bringing your knees up to your chest, you hid your face in the fabric of your sweatpants, scared that someone could see you and scrutinize you for crying.

But you came to the realization that, this is for the best. It will get better and you’ll learn to live without him. Right?

It’s been 16 days.

And you promised yourself you wouldn’t call him. Wouldn’t seek him out and hold him. Wouldn’t ask Tom how he was doing. Nothing. He’s gone. He doesn’t need you anymore.

He forgot to pick up his clothes. The ones that smell like him still. The ones that you’d always steal and wear around the house. The ones that he’d always tell you not to wear but secretly laid them out in places for you to pick up and wear, loving the way you look in his clothes.

You still wore them. It helped.

And at night it was scary. In your head.

Overthinking everything.

Did he actually cheat and that’s why he was so willing to agree? No. No it’s wil! He wouldn’t do that.

Did he fall out of love? No. No his words were genuine.

Why did he say ‘see you soon’ and not ‘goodbye.’?

Now that was a question you couldn’t answer.

But that’s when you realized. Realized that you’d rather be something with Wil than nothing to him. Even if it hurts you both in the long run.

It’s been 16 days.

16 long days of looking at his contact and not calling him.

16 days where you had so much restraint that it almost hurt you. But each day, that wall slowly crumbled.

You knew you and Wil could never work. It was common knowledge. The constant moving around, longing to be with each other, and slowly killing yourselves with how much thinking you both do about each other. Hurtful or not.

Nothing added up. There was no solution.

So you kept that restraint up as much as you could.

But.

After 16 long days.

You called him. That night. After walking through the town, needing some air and to get something to drink.

You swear you saw him. It had to be him. He was smiling and laughing with a group of people that you’ve never seen before. But as your got your hopes up and walked closer to the group, you realized that wasn’t the man you hoped to see.

You rushed home and sat on the floor in front of the coffee table. Looking down at your phone, you let the barrier break and pressed the call button.

After the first couple rings, you gave up. He wasn’t going to answer. Why did you think he would? He’s probably so much better without you-

“Bug?” You heard a groggy voice ask you over the phone. You’re held your breathe as you heard the name. The name he gave you.

“H-Hi, Wil.” You whispered out as you exhaled the breathe you were holding for too long for your liking.

You heard him let out a shakey breath and some shuffling, most likely blankets. He sniffed before he started speaking again. “H-How are you? What’s up?”

“I- Nothing much.” You said as you played with your hands, hesitating to get your next words out. “Hey, do you maybe, wanna come over?”

“Yes! Uh, yeah. I’d love too.” You could hear the smile start to grow on his face as he talked. A small one started to appear on yours.

“Ok. See you soon?”

“See you soon.”

So, you broke the promise. But whether it hurts you in the end or becomes a beautiful thing. You’ll at least be something to him. And he’ll be something to you.

taglist// @wiipes @frogwithashotgun @mysticalsoot @kit-is-a-weeb @athenaisaflower @gaytoadwithapopsicle @anon-duck @lotusanonymouse @art3m1s-adelia (and if you want to be added, feel free to ask!)

[sixteenstrikes]

PLEASE talk more about DurgeWyll and Hozier, PLEASE... I am rotating the songs you posted and the vision is so good

thank you for asking me :) (the doors close sealing you in the crypt)

i joke. ok first of all i need to cite ten @bladesmitten as a resident durgewyll expert and direct you to his blog... she's written some incredible fic & analysis of the durgewyll romance and made a lot of gorgeous wyll edits and art in general, can't rec his blog enough.

i have sadly never played through the durgewyll romance & only watched it so there are undoubtedly story details i am unaware of. alas i have only played the tav version of his romance so far

some spoilers for durge beneath the cut. i tried to be vague but a warning there. also i didnt stick my oar into unreal unearth or any of the adjacent eps for that album .. sorry

all that being said here are my 2 cents

i think the main draw for picking hozier songs for durgewyll is that incredibly sexy dynamic they have of being each other's foil as well as each other's love interest. both wyll and durge are bound to an inescapable doom within the story: to pay with their body and soul for the fate of baldur's gate. durge must destroy it to please their father, wyll must save it. (wyll's saved it already, at the cost of his soul, and durge has to sacrifice their soul to destroy it as (redacted), but i wont go further on that tangent lol. its fascinating though.)

i think a core concept of wyll to focus on here as well is his faith. in his act 2 dance scene, in response to one of the dialogue options, wyll replies that he 'still keeps faith in the old tales of true love'- this is crucial. wyll is the man to whom the gods gave a cold shoulder. he has no love or faith for them. but he keeps faith in the old tales- he keeps faith, specifically, in durge.. 'his greatest adventure'.. and if durge chooses to resist their father's authority, they spurn a god for wyll's sake. there's an incredible amount of mutual devotion there.

there is also the monster hunter/monster dynamic. i haven't delved into it much here bc i am more interested in how eerily wyll and durge parallel each other as twin mirrors and exiles from the gate, the light and dark sides, sharing almost a common doom, trapped in the long shadows of their fathers.... man. but the monster dynamic should absolutely be examined and explored, it's fascinating. i think it's another compelling aspect of wyll's character. he's a man with a lot of resonant contradictions. a monster hunter who refuses to hunt the monster of baldur's gate and instead severs them from the one who made them .... a monster hunter who holds out his hand to the monster he is supposed to kill... wyll's love of the mysterious and strange and his kindness, i think, predispose him to see durge as an ally and a friend. not from naivete, but from an open heart

my hozier picks for durgewyll overall:

it will come back - i love the way the view shifts in this. one of my top durgewyll picks for the way it evokes a lot of the horror & tragedy that wyll looks into and doesnt flinch away from & the hunger durge has toward wyll extending his own lonely & friendly hand

shrike - i see this as primarily from durge's view. picked for the devotion & regret

NFWMB - applies beautifully to both of them. theeeee durgewyll song to me from andy's works... consider the lyrics from both person's perspective to feel the world open beneath your feet lol

as it was - ditto, i think it encompasses both perspectives. also one of my favorite songs he wrote so im biased lmao. i think this is another very resonant choice for the durgewyll dynamic

like real people do - feels an overly obvious pick but it could work especially well for a resist durge

no plan - could be an intriguing choice. i can't quite swing it but some of the lines in this for durgewyll... i like them...

you could definitely make a case for from eden for another from durge's view. gives me a feeling of a durge who's not resisting but idk

[victorspindrop]

HOA Characters and Fandoms they are in

**NOTE: Second headcanon type post lets go! Love reading peoples responses (Sorry for the Alfie rap erasure you're so right baes) but anyways, thought of this while driving home from college for Easter weekend so enjoy! Also, some of these fandoms I am not even in but they make sense for the characters so**

Nina

-> Harry Potter fandom or Potterhead

-> I mean with the amount of times she mentions Harry Potter in the first episode it just would make sense that its because she's a fan of the books and movies

-> Definitely brought her entire Harry Potter book series to Anubis House with her when she first moved in (but maybe hid it at first because of Patricia)

-> Favorite character is probably Hermione Granger (she loves a strong and intelligent female main character)

-> Dressed up as a Hogwarts student for her first Halloween at Anubis (Fabian dressed as Harry for her <3)

Amber

-> Twilight. Enough said.

-> Girlie has a huge Jacob poster in her room. No like seriously, its in the show

-> I know she had a heart attack during the last movie (I did to)\

-> Obvi Team Jacob

Fabian

-> Doctor Who Whovian

-> This is where we start to get to things I am of little knowledge of

-> Space, time travel, monsters (i think?) it just sounds right up his alley

-> Has one of those TARDIS t-shirts... and a poster...and maybe a keychain... and maybe a secret plethora of Doctor Who merchandise under his bed, but keeps enough out so people know he likes it but not enough to know he is obsessed with it

Patricia

-> Like I stated in my post about the characters music taste, she had a FallOutBoy and PANIC! At the Disco phase

-> I feel like she's read FallOutBoy fanfiction here and there IDK IT MAKES SENSE

-> I feel like she probably had a Twenty One Pilots phase as well

-> All of those fandoms together, she was DEEP in alternative fangirl culture

Alfie

-> HOT TAKE: Alfie watches anime

-> I haven't watched much but I feel like he would watch like One Piece or maybe Dragon Ball Z

->Have you seen all of his costumes in the show, the boy cosplays for sure

-> Puts on cosplay either to watch his shows or just puts it on for the hell of it and then goes about his day (all the housemates have candid photos of him doing the most mundane things in the most ridiculous cosplays)

Jerome

-> This one was hard ngl

-> I feel like he would be more in like Youtuber type fandoms

-> Pewdipie.

-> Ok hear me out, JSclatt. I MEAN THINK ABOUT IT! DOESNT IT MAKE SENSE IN A WAY???

Joy

-> As I stated in my music post, she was a One Directioner

-> Was a Harry girl

-> She wrote and read fanfics on Wattpad (valid)

-> Along with Amber, she is a Twilight fan

-> Unlike Amber, she is Team Edward

-> Her and Amber have had some HEATED discussions at dinner over this topic to the point where it has been BANNED from the dinner table

Mara

-> Ok I know Mara is all books or whatever in the show BUT, I can see her being a cozy game fan

-> Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing, The Sims, honestly anything that is a cozy management type game

-> Hunger Games fan for sure.

->Is in love with Peeta

Mick

-> Fortnite.

-> Does Fortnite dance emotes when he scores a goal during soccer/football (whichever you call it)

-> This is a Mick Campbell hate page.