#But with how specialized I've become in what I do it can sometimes be so hard to explain it in a way everyone can understand

[eudikot]

you're a researcher!! that's so cool! if you don't mind me asking, what do you do?

Thank you for the ask, I love talking about my research!! Currently, I'm working on studying barley and its interaction with Pseudomonas fluorescens using a clear hydrogel media instead of soil. I got interested in this project because I think that the ability to grow plants in hydrogel instead of soil to study their roots is such a cool thing, and since I'm majoring in both plant and microbial biotechnology adding the bacterial aspect helps bring everything I'm working on all together (and is something I can make a paper out of). Then to add biotechnology into the equation, we added GFP (green fluorescent protein) into the bacteria, which causes them to glow green when hit with UV light and viewed under a filter. This makes it easier to see the bacteria on the roots.

Because this projects excites me so much and has some cool pictures, I have to share some. The first picture are roots without any bacteria and the second one has the bacteria. Feel free to take a second and see if you can identify any differences between the two images.

The first noticeable thing I see is within the hydrogel itself. The non-bacterial control has a much darker background, likely because there are no bacteria to fluoresce in it. However, you may notice that the roots still have a glow to them. That's actually because plants have autofluorescence based on the proteins/chemicals they produce which was visible through the filter. Now, the things that stand out to me on the bacterial roots compared to the regular ones are that they almost have a rougher appearance, likely due to the bacteria colonies growing on it. And then there is the bright spots of bacteria that are not present on the bacteria-free roots. Seeing such a stark difference so easily (since I have been looking at images of these for a while now and know what I'm looking for) honestly blew me away when this actually seemed to work.

Also, just to talk about autofluorescence again, the chlorophyll in the leaves make the plants so bright in this system. I mean look at that leaf!! I never though I'd see such a pretty plant (the last one looks slightly different from the rest because it was taken with my phone instead of the microscope camera, but catches the entire autofluorescence really well).

And to wrap this whole spiel up, let me give a little background on where I started with doing research. I actually started out by doing data analysis on differential gene expression, or the differences in expression under different conditions. A lot of analysis uses an "out of 100%" model if you will, and because of this if one gene changes expression a lot but everything else stays the same, it'll look like all those genes have lower expression compared to the one that changed even if they might not. You can see how that might be a bit of a problem. I was testing a new R package that would compare gene expression in a different way to bypass this problem and more clearly see what is actually happening to different genes.

Because I was just helping a bit on this project I never saw its conclusions before moving onto other things. I took a side off of that project to get a grant and do a systematic review on how other researchers are describing their gene expression clustering, since in R you need to define the clustering method (how different groups are compared to one another) and the number of clusters you want. Because these are human entered and can change the outcome of the data you're analyzing, it's important that what you do can be replicated, but a lot of researchers were very vague in even what packages they used to cluster. I'm still finishing up that work so hopefully I'll be able to publish a paper on it soon.

Then I've also had fun helping some of our grad students with barley biomass measurements and, my absolute favorite, soil microbe DNA extraction. That student is using differences in the soil microbiome to see if it has an impact on the growth of the barley, and is actually what inspired me to student plant-microbe interactions!

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

for whom good omens is being written

Hey maggots and the rest of the fandom, it's the Good Omens Mascot here. Today I read a post about this tweet:

The accompanying video genuinely made me cry. And I've been thinking about this for a long while, as far back as February, when I saw a lot of conflicting opinions on what people wanted from the third season. It really is true that no matter what you do, some people will be dissatisfied. But what matters is that Neil is writing this for Terry.

And I was reminded of some paragraphs from the Good Omens TV Companion, which I'd read in Amazon's sample excerpt of the book. I know this is a long post, but I really truly do think you all need to read these, I've done my best to select only the most important parts. Here you go:

'His Alzheimer's started progressing harder and faster than either of us had expected,' says Neil, referring to a period in which Terry recognized that despite everything he could no longer write. 'We had been friends for over thirty years, and during that time he had never asked me for anything. Then, out of the blue, I received an email from him with a special request. It read: “Listen, I know how busy you are. I know you don't have time to do this, but I want you to write the script for Good Omens. You are the only human being on this planet who has the passion, love and understanding for the old girl that I do. You have to do this for me so that I can see it." And I thought, “OK, if you put it like that then I'll do it."

'I had adapted my own work in the past, writing scripts for Death: The High Cost of Living and Sandman, but not a lot else was seen. I'd also written two episodes of Doctor Who, and so I felt like I knew what I was doing. Usually, having written something once I'd rather start something new, but having a very sick co-author saying I had to do this?' Neil spreads his hands as if the answer is clear to see. 'I had to step up to the plate.' A pause, then: 'All this took place in autumn 2014, around the time that the BBC radio adaptation of Good Omens was happening,' he continues, referring to the production scripted and co-directed by Dirk Maggs and starring Peter Serafinowicz and Mark Heap. ‘Terry had talked me into writing the TV adaptation, and I thought OK, I have a few years. Only I didn't have a few years,' he says. 'Terry was unconscious by December and dead by March.'

He pauses again. 'His passing took all of us by surprise,' Neil remembers. 'About a week later, I started writing, and it was very sad. The moments Terry felt closest to me were the moments I would get stuck during the writing process. In the old days, when we wrote the novel, I would send him what I'd done or phone him up. And he would say, "Aahh, the problem, Grasshopper, is in the way you phrase the question," and I would reply, "Just tell me what to do!" which somehow always started a conversation. 'In writing the script, there were times I'd really want to talk to Terry, and also places where I'd figure something out and do something really clever, and I would want to share it with him. So, instead, I would text Terry's former personal assistant, Rob Wilkins, now his representative on Earth. It was the nearest thing I had.'

(...) As Neil himself recognizes, this is an adaptation built upon the confidence that comes from three decades of writing for page and screen. But for all the wisdom of experience, he found that above all one factor guided him throughout the process. 'Terry isn't here, which leaves me as the guardian of the soul of the story,' he explains. 'It's funny because sometimes I found myself defending Terry's bits harder or more passionately than I would defend my own bits. Take Agnes Nutter,' he says, referring to what has become a key scene in the adaptation in which the seventeenth-century author of the book of prophecies foretelling the coming of the Antichrist is burned at the stake. ‘It was a huge, complicated and incredibly expensive shoot, with bonfires built and primed to explode as well as huge crowds in costume. It had to feel just like an English village in the 1640s, and of course everyone asked if there was a cheap way of doing it. 'One suggestion was that we could tell the story using old-fashioned woodcuts and have the narrator take us through what happened, but I just thought, “No”. Because I had brought aspects of the story like Crowley and the baby swap along to the mix, and Terry created Agnes Nutter. So, if I had cut out Agnes then I wouldn't be doing right by the person who gave me this job. Terry would've rolled over in his grave.'

And, finally, this paragraph:

"Once again, Neil cites the absence of his co-writer as his drive to ensure that Good Omens translated to the screen and remained true to the original vision. 'Terry's last request to me was to make this something he would be proud of. And so that has been my job.'"

I think that's so heartwrenchingly beautiful, and so I wanted you all to read this, too, just in case you (like me) don't have the Good Omens TV Companion. It adds another layer of depth and emotion to this already complex and amazing story that we all know and love.

Share this post, if you can, please, so that more people can read these excerpts :")

Tagging @neil-gaiman, @fuckyeahgoodomens and @orpiknight, even if you've definitely read these before :)

[mirohlayo]

🍓❝ you know i love and care about you, right? ❞ with lando <3

LET ME SHOW YOU

( maybe you're insecure, but that will never bother Lando, since it's a way to remind you how much he loves you. )

warning : insecurities, fluff

word count : 1.1k

You're not the type to be jealous or insecure. Especially not about your boyfriend. You trust him with all your heart, you can never blame him for anything because he is simply perfect. Adorable and perfect.

And yet, here you are in this situation. It had become usual for everyone now, to see Lando alongside beautiful models. Pretty women, with perfect and angelic faces, elegant posture and careful gestures. Even more so when he was partying.

You didn't see any problem with it. Since after all, Lando always made you feel like the most beautiful woman, Lando always reassured you that he only had eyes for you. And you know, you can't deny a fact that is true.

But seeing him constantly surrounded by these models was perhaps something that saddened you today. So, you locked yourself in your hotel room, while Lando continued to test the car on the track. He asked you about your health, if you were okay, but you just said you were tired.

Sometimes you would glance at Instagram, instantly regretting opening the app the second different posts of Lando alongside these girls popped up. You couldn't stand this.

It's probably toxic and unhealthy, but you can't help but feel insecure. After all, who wouldn't want a rich and handsome Formula 1 driver? Especially when that meme man is a lovable personality.

The day passed slowly. You heard the distant sound of the Formula 1 engines, thinking of Lando who was driving one of them. You regretted the moment he returned to the hotel. You didn't want to appear so weak and insecure in front of him, knowing that this isn't the first time you've talked about it.

But yet, despite your complexes, despite the fact that you felt apart, Lando was always there to comfort you about your relationship.

“Hello, sweetheart.” The day is over, since you yourself are surprised to see Lando standing in front of you. You try as best you can to come back to reality, giving your lover a weak smile. “Ooh my baby, I missed you so much”. His body collapses onto yours, as he nestles his head in the crook of your neck.

You delicately stroke his curly hair, while he snuggles a little closer to you. “I missed you too, Lan.” “Of course you missed me, you stayed at the hotel all day.” A silence settles in, you didn't really know what to answer. You didn't want to tell him about your insecurities.

"Sorry. I don't like leaving you alone on the track." He lifts his head slightly, just enough for his eyes to meet yours. "Don't apologize, baby. You needed some rest." His lips press against yours, gently, delicately.

You already feel better, just from this simple kiss. It's unfair the way he manages to console you, to comfort you just by his simple presence. "I've been thinking about you all day. Even when I was in the car." His voice is muffled since his face is still hidden in the crook of your neck.

Still, it makes you smile. “You can’t do without me Lando.” You giggle slowly, while you feel a smile appear on his face. "Absolutely, I'm obsessed with you. Maybe a little too much... Fuck, I love you so much princess." A soft laugh escapes his throat as his arms wrap a little tighter around you.

But these words are enough to make you cry. Of joy, of sadness? You don't really know, but on the other hand you know that Lando's sincerity is the source of your tears. Because even without being aware of your insecurities, he manages to make them go away. To chase them away.

He always knew how to make you feel special and unique, make you feel his. Through his words and actions, he always showed only love and tenderness towards you. And even without talking about your problems, he manages to solve them with a snap of his fingers, thanks to his way of showing his affection.

Your wet tears fall on his hair, running down his neck. He senses that something is wrong, and suddenly raises his head to look at you. His face falls as he searches your face and your gaze for an answer.

"Oh my baby. Why are you crying?" He sweeps the tears from your cheeks with his thumb, cupping your face in the process. You take a deep breath, trying to calm your sobs. His lips place soft, long kisses on your face, while he gives you time to find your words.

“Take your time, princess. I’m here with you, I won’t leave.” You smile weakly at him as your tears fall once again. "I know it's childish, Lan but-" "Hey, don't ever say that again. Your problems aren't childish, you have the right to feel how you feel." He cuts you off, an expression of displeasure displayed on his face.

You nod slowly, sniffling otherwise. "I'm just... it annoys me a little to see you surrounded by pretty girls and models. I know we've talked about this before and it's something I need to work on with myself... “He encourages you to continue, gently caressing your cheeks.

"But I still feel a little insecure about it. I know you love me and I trust you, but sometimes it makes me insecure. I'm just afraid you'll find someone better than me." Lando's lips seem to curl down, to the point where his face resembles that of a puppy.

“Oh my baby girl.” He doesn't wait a second before kissing you languorously, his hands anchored on your cheeks, caressing them ever so gently. He pulls back, a soothing smile plastered on his lips. "How could I find anyone better than you? You are the very definition of the girl of my dreams."

You can't help but roll your eyes as a smile takes over. Which makes Lando smile more. “I only have you in my thoughts, my dreams and my heart. Only you my girl”. He kisses you lightly again, not being able to stop himself from smiling.

His eyes admire you as if you were the most beautiful thing on earth. Which is totally the case for him. “You know I love and care about you, right?” He leans down again to kiss the tip of your nose, as you nod eagerly. “I love you so much, Lan. I’m so in love with you.” You can only say these words in a low whisper.

His eyes crinkle into another smile, a most affectionate smile. “Then let me show you how much I am in love with you too, pretty girl”. And without further ado, he doesn't hesitate to cover your entire face with thousands and thousands of kisses.

[fatuismooches]

Could you please write about the Harbingers and their voice lines for the reader? Like them telling the traveler about you and stuff :)

♡𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬’ 𝐕𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 ♡

synopsis: The Traveler expected the Harbingers to be cold and ruthless in pursuing whatever the Fatui's goals were. Hearing their loving voice lines on you was certainly the opposite of what they predicted.

includes: all harbingers (platonic pulcinella) w/ gn! reader

notes: I've wanted to do something like this for a while. It was rather cute and fun to write! Includes five voice lines about you for each Harbinger.

Pierro:

About You - His Lover:

“So you’ve already met [Name], Traveler? I’m not surprised, they like to talk to people, especially when they see me speaking to others. They’re quite energetic and bouncy, aren’t they? But I can’t say I dislike that about them. They are a bright light in my life.”

Chat - Walks:

“Much of our time spent together is on walks outside in Sneznhaya, with the snow gently melting on us. It’s a rather simple activity to most, but irreplaceable to both of us. I hope, after everything is said and done, I can take them on walks in other places.”

About Your Patience:

“They never comment on it, but I know they get lonely without me. For most of the day, they do not see me due to my work, and even when they try to stay up late for my return, they end up falling asleep sometimes. I truly wish I could spend more time with them. But I know, after fulfilling the Tsaritsa’s dream, I will give them everything and more.”

Something To Share - Meals:

“I don’t think about what I eat or when I do very often. It doesn’t matter much to me, but [Name] clearly disagrees. Instead of the maids preparing my meals, they started cooking everything for me and adding little notes too. It’s very endearing of them, but I don’t think I’ll ever live it down when the other soldiers saw me eating heart-shaped cookies with smiley faces on them…”

About You - A Second Home:

“I remember the destruction of my homeland clearly. It is something I will never forget. But even though I have only a small portion of time with them, they never fail to make me feel… content. With them, I can forget about everything, even if it is just for a few minutes. Heh, sometimes I foolishly wish they lived in Khaenri’ah with me for a bit, if only to experience a normal life with them.”

Capitano:

About You - His Lover:

“There is nothing I cherish more than [Name]. Many people often comment on our relationship, after all, we are quite different in all aspects. But I have them to thank for many things. They have taught me many things I could have never learned on my own.

Chat - Souvenirs:

“Traveler, you have been to many nations for extended periods of time. Would you share some items that would make good souvenirs? I always make sure to bring something back for them. If you have any recipes to share, that would be greatly appreciated as well. Whenever I am back home, [Name] always insists on having all of our meals together.”

A Special Item - The Kamera:

“You must be wondering why someone like me carries around something like this. I never cared for the device until [Name] told me about it and asked me to take photos on my expeditions. I guess I’ve unintentionally become a master without knowing it because they always praise the pictures I take when they organize them in their scrapbook.”

Something To Share - Smiles:

“I am not adept at smiling at all, or very expressive in general, something [Name] has an issue with. Oftentimes, they sit on my lap and try to get me to show some emotion on my face. Reading stories, telling jokes… they try it all quite frequently. While I don’t think it’s working very well, I enjoy their antics.”

About You - Reminiscing:

“I remember once I walked in on them trying on my helmet and coat. They hadn’t noticed me yet, and I couldn’t help but notice how small they looked buried under my clothes. But quickly I worried about whether their head could take the weight of my helmet. Before I could say anything, they saw me and scurried away in embarrassment. I never brought it up again, but it was rather cute.”

“Huh… Paimon would have never guessed Capitano was like this. When we go to Snezhnaya, we have to find this guy’s mansion somehow! Paimon wants to meet [Name]!”

Columbina:

About You - Her Lover:

“Hmm~hmm~♫ Oh, hello there, Traveler. Ah, I see you’ve brought [Name] with you too, come here, my dear. Hmm? Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you. They are my partner in love, music, in everything. Perhaps you should come to one of our shows one day. I’d say we are quite good.”

About You - Favorite Pastimes:

“I love going to watch plays with them. The theater is one of the places where we spend a lot of time. I always end up humming along to the songs. Sometimes, when the theater is unoccupied, we act out certain scenes together. Say, Traveler, have you ever heard of Romeo and Juliet?”

Chat - Naps:

“Hmm… what time is it? The weather just feels perfect for a midday nap. [Name] always indulges me whenever I want when I want to doze off. This surface is no match for their pillowy softness, but it’ll have to do for now…”

“Hey, you can’t just fall asleep in the middle of- oh… Paimon doesn’t know how she can knock out that quickly.”

Secret Hobby - Poems About You:

“Your bright smile that can go on for a mile,

Unmatchable style with a laugh that never ends for a while.

Sweet lips that I want to savor,

Ah, I am so glad I am in your favor.

Or should I say “For you make me ever the more braver”...? What do you think, Traveler?”

Something Interesting - Liyue Opera:

“Traveler, I hear that there is a talented opera troupe in Liyue with beautiful music and songs. Oh, you’ve met them yourself? I would love to attend it with [Name]. They love listening to music from around Teyvat, and I have to agree with them. Haha… I can’t wait to take them out of Snezhnaya for a bit.”

Dottore:

About You - His Lover:

“Hmph, you wish to know about [Name], I hear?”

“Yeah! Paimon wants to know what kind of person would stay with a madman- I mean! A Fatui Harbinger! You know, since that’s quite dangerous and all.”

“Hehe, is that so? Too bad, because I have no obligation to tell you. But they are truly… ah, never mind.”

“Aww… Paimon really wanted to know what he was going to say.”

About You And The Segments:

“Some of the segments are quite fond of them, while some do not know them very well. After all, they were cloned at different parts of my life, before and after I met them. I must say… it’s can be hard to get some of the other segments away from them. I didn’t think they would hoard [Name]’s attention so much…”

“Is it just Paimon, or does Dottore’s attentiveness towards them grow as each clone gets older? And hey, is Dottore jealous-”

“Shush Paimon, before he hears you!”

About You - Whereabouts:

"It's time for their medicine... Hmm, have you seen them, Traveler? You saw them leave and go into the city? And you didn't stop them? Tch, useless. I must simply go and find them myself... Now that I think about it, I wouldn't want you talking to [Name], anyway."

About You - Health Concerns:

“Ever since our Akademiya days, [Name] has been plagued with an unknown and virtually incurable disease. It is essential that they take their medicine every day, but they often try to avoid it, after doing it for so long. This is why I and the clones always keep an eye on them.”

“Aw, so that’s why [Name] always looks so tired whenever Paimon sees them… That must be so hard.”

“… I don’t care what methods or tactics I have to employ, or if the Gods or even you, Traveler, get in my way. I will cure them of their sickness. Nothing will stop me.”

When The Sun Is Out:

“Hm, it’s a perfect day for [Name] to take a walk. The fresh air is always good for their health. Perhaps a boat ride is in order as well.”

“Oooh, Paimon loves the sound of that! Maybe we can fish and eat it too!”

“Why would I ever invite you to be with us? I’m sure your very existence would give them a headache.”

“Hey, how rude!!”

Pulcinella:

About You - Relationship:

“You were fighting some hilichurls when someone called [Name] joined you? And they ended up lighting an explosive barrel? Wherever that child goes, they always bring trouble with them. But don’t hold it against them. They are a lovely person to be around.”

Stories To Tell:

“They always pester me to tell them stories. Though, this is not a bad thing at all. Not many are willing to listen to this old man ramble on willingly. Ah, youth is a wonderful thing. Would you like to join us next time, Traveler?”

Chat - New Things:

“Indeed, they have taught me many things. The latest trends, songs, books, and more that their generation is into. Sometimes I struggle to understand some of what they say too… the world is changing so quickly.”

About You - Baking:

“We bake together quite often. Most of the time, I have to direct them, otherwise, they will burn down the kitchen which has happened multiple times before. Pantalone was not happy. I have never seen a youngster with such little aptitude for cooking, but surprisingly, it is great fun.”

About You - Family:

“Ever since they were young, they were quite rebellious. Running away from the castle, pretending to be asleep after bedtime, beating up all the Fatui soldiers during sparring without hesitance. If anyone else besides me had to take care of them, it would not have ended well. But, I am truly glad they are in my care. I have thought of them as my own child for a long time. If it wasn’t for the possible danger, I’d have officially adopted them long ago.”

Scaramouche:

About You - His Lover:

“Huh? How do you know about [Name]?”

“Well, we just happened to see them with you once. You were actually smiling! And later we went up and spoke to them for a bit, and they were really nice! They told us that they were your-”

“Ugh, that idiot! Always trusting people so blindly… Anyway, I don’t need you to know anything else. It isn’t your business.” 

A Little Secret:

“I wonder if they could make dango for me again… it’s been a long time since I’ve had it. But how do I get them to make it without directly asking? How bothersome… huh? How long have you been there, Traveler? You didn’t hear anything, did you?!”

Something To Share - Burdened Feelings:

“I once tried to wipe my emotions and feelings of them away into nothingness. It felt preposterous to me that I could feel something for a human, one that could barely fight nonetheless. But when I lost the Gnosis, when I lost everything, as I fell down, the only thing that I saw in my mind was their stupid smile…”

When It Rains:

“Whenever it rained, they would always huddle themselves close to me under my hat. At first, I pushed them away, but the look on their face made me allow them to continue. Sometimes, I make sure to take them out on a day that’s expected to rain just to see them do that. Don’t you dare tell them that though, Traveler.”

About Beelzebul:

“[Name] is always telling me to reconcile with her, but what would she think of me, or of them? How would she act toward me? Would she even remember me? There’s that irritating shrine maiden too… Hmm? It’s nothing. Let’s keep moving.”

Arlecchino:

About You - Her Lover:

“[Name]? Yes, they are my partner. I suppose those Fatui recruits can’t keep their mouths shut about other people’s business for very long. Hmm? You’re surprised that I was so direct about it? Well, there’s no reason to hide it. But I would prefer that this discussion ends here. I like to keep my time with them private.”

When It’s Sunny:

“This weather is not my favorite. I prefer the cold much more than this blistering heat. But I did hear [Name] say that they would like to visit a beach someday. Hmm… say, Traveler, is Yaoguang Shoal a good spot?”

Something To Share - Quietly Loving:

“I’m sure you have realized by now that I am not very good with words or emotions. These things are far from my expertise. However, they seem to not mind my behavior, talking enough for both of us. But if they ever requested anything from me, I would do it without hesitance. No one else comes close.”

Chat - Coffee:

“One cup of coffee, with whipped cream, syrup, and sugar please.”

“…Eh?!! Arlecchino, what are you saying? You always order your coffee black!”

“I know. To be honest, I could not care less about all these extra ingredients. But… they always used to try and add things to sweeten the drink behind my back. I suppose I… miss them. This reminds me of them, a bit.”

“Aww… Paimon guesses that even the scariest and coldest of people can have someone special to them.”

About You - The Orphanage:

“They often spend their time with the orphans. I was initially surprised at first, and so were the other soldiers, but it worked out in our favor. The children love them far more than they will for me or the recruits. [Name] is a gentle and patient soul, after all. Reading stories, putting the kids to sleep… they are quite hard working despite having no need to.”

La Signora:

About You - Her Lover:

“My darling [Name] is the most perfect lover one could ask for. They are beautiful, inside and out. How I love to pamper them so… actually, there are a couple of new outfits I want them to try on. I can’t wait to see how they look. They are all mine.”

When It’s Windy:

“Tch, this wind is messing up my hair and clothes. [Name] used to always brush and take care of my hair after a long day, after I showed them how to do it correctly of course. Traveler, I’m afraid I have to go now. I must see them again.”

About You - Letters:

“Hmm, hmm, hmm… and it’s done.”

“Hey Signora, what are you writing?”

“Just a letter to my dearest. They are expecting something from me soon.”

“Wow, so you can send letters with your fire moths? That’s resourceful!”

“Of course. I always let a few stay around [Name] as well. If any of them happen to be extinguished, I’ll know if anything happened to them.”

About You - Favorite Pastimes:

“There’s nothing that pleases me more than seeing them all dolled up in the latest fashion. They look simply exquisite, especially when we do each other’s makeup. But I also adore seeing them lounge around in their favorite hoodies. They look great in anything, really.”

Something To Share - Past Grief, New Happiness:

“Sometimes, it feels just like yesterday when I lost him. Grief and bitterness wrapped around my heart like a cocoon that would never hatch. But when I fell in love with them, I felt something that I had not felt in far too long. That cocoon started to shatter little by little, as I started to remember how to love again. I truly love them wholly with whatever’s remaining of my heart.”

Pantalone:

About You - His Lover:

“So, you’ve met [Name], I hear. What do you think of them? Beautiful, am I right? Of course, they are nothing short of perfection to me. Hardworking, determined, helpful… I could go on about them. Say, Traveler, would you be so kind to direct me to some of the best shops around here? I would like to find some gifts to send to them while we’re here.”

Worries - Financial Concerns:

“Traveler, I have a great issue on my hands. [Name] has apparently forbidden me from spending any more Mora on them. They keep saying that they do not need anything else, but how can I restrain myself from spoiling my darling?”

About You - Favorite Pastimes:

“Oftentimes, we like to end off the day with some leisurely reading. The feeling of them laying against my chest, legs intertwined, as I whisper certain parts of the book softly into their ear, delighting as they turn warm- oho, your face is all red. Did I make you embarrassed? Apologies, I get carried away when talking about them.”

About You - First Meeting:

“My childhood is not something that I like to remember. But, despite everything, it is pleasant to think about the first time I met them. They were poor, just like me, barely scraping by, though they never failed to greet me every day with a big smile. [Name] would take over the grueling working shifts for me and the younger kids sometimes, and sneak bits of food out the window to me. Even with the fact that I was surrounded by poverty, I couldn’t help but think I had a true gem right in front of me. ”

When It’s Cold:

“I confess, I do enjoy the cold, but most of it is due to how adorable [Name] looks all bundled up in my fur coats. Or how they always dive under the covers and refuse to get up for anything. It is always a struggle for even me to get up from bed when they are so warm, too.”

Sandrone:

About You - Her Lover:

“They are my loyal assistant and lover, always willing to help out with any experiment I ask. I have known them for a very long time. They have always been the one to drag me out of the lab to get some fresh air… as a matter of fact, I think it’s about this time when they come to harass me. Somehow they’ve gotten half the robots on their side, too.”

When It’s Raining:

“This weather is good for testing how waterproof my robots are and the joints of my Automatons. A long time ago, I built a feature for an umbrella into some of my creations so whenever [Name] and I went for walks and it rained, we would be fine. Huh, you’re asking if you can use it? No, you can’t.”

About You - Favorite Pastimes:

“Eh? Sandrone, what is all this? You’re all dressed up!”

“Oh, it’s you. I’m simply preparing for my favorite event with my dear lover. We’ve just finished repairing an ancient Automaton, and they’ve decided a tea party is in order.”

“Wow! Even the robots have spiffy suits on! It smells so good here too, hehe, Paimon wants a taste of the tea and cookies too- w-woah! Where’d all these big robots come from?! Hey, let Paimon down!”

“This is for [Name] and I only. Now shoo. The tea party is set to begin soon, and I must welcome my honored guest…”

Inspiration - New Creations:

“Before I met them, I had never thought of using my skills to create mundane things that weren’t war machines or destructive Automatons. I thought anything else would be a waste of time, but surprisingly, it is not too bad. It’s quite nice to feel their fascinated face in the crook of my neck while I work. I usually gift these creations to them, anyway. They’re not much use to me, but [Name] likes these kinds of things.”

The Future - Fontaine Frenzy:

“I hear that I am set to head out to Fontaine soon. I would love to see the faces of those poor souls when they realize their technology is nothing compared to what the Fatui has created. Ah, I guess that means I’ll be seeing you there too. Will you be able to keep up with [Name] and I, Traveler? I must warn you, they are a formidable foe, with their refined skill and raw power from my mechanical attachments. Now that I think about there, there were some new weapons we wanted to try out… hehe, I can’t wait.” 

Childe:

About You - His Lover:

“Oho, interested in [Name] are you? I don’t blame you - they are truly an amazing person. Sweet, kind, and caring, not to mention, they are incredibly strong as well. Teucer loves them too, always wanting piggyback rides. I can’t wait to introduce them to the rest of my family.”

About You - First Meeting:

“I clearly remember the first time I laid eyes on them. I was passing through Liyue when I heard of an archery competition, and naturally, I was eager to test my skills. I was sure that I would win first place, but what did you know! Someone called [Name] had stolen that spot from me. Long story short, I pestered them until they fought me, and they really did beat me down. Haha, it feels so long ago, now that I look back on it.”

When It Snows:

“I once took [Name] to Dragonspine, because they wanted to see the snow as it was a rare occurrence in Liyue. You should have seen them, hah! Shaking and sniffling like it was the end of the world. And it wasn’t even that cold, as least compared to my homeland. Why didn’t I take them to Snezhnaya? Don’t worry, I plan to, very, very soon…

About You - Whereabouts:

"Have you seen them, Traveler? No? Haha, they must be hiding from me again. I guess I’ve asked them to spar too many times. Comrade, if you happen to see [Name], tell them I’m waiting at Northland Bank for them. Xinyue Kiosk, my treat.”

About You - Safety:

“Heh, I wonder what they’re doing right now. I hope they haven’t been roped into any strange commissions again. They are too helpful for their own good. If anything happened to them while I’m gone… Traveler, if you happen to be around, please help them. I’ll owe you, comrade.”

[bitterchocoo]

It's Punishment Time!!

Neuvillette | M. Reader

----------

"Now then, I've prepared a very special punishment~"

----------

They say you shouldn't break the law or else.

Even with that, some still do and ended up meeting their downfall. But what happened to those who committed a much more horrible sin? Surely imprisonment won't be enough.. an execution must be in order.

But this...

Isn't what they all imagine..

The executioner seems... A little to eager to do his job..

He smiles from ear to ear, sometimes he even laughs! No ounce of regret or sorrow in his expression as he does his job.

People began to call him a lunatic. A lunatic that enjoys killing each others. But is that really true? Is he truly a lunatic? Or was there more to him than meets the eye?

"Neuvi~"

The Chief Justice sighed at the voice he didn't expect to hear that day. A voice that doesn't have a single ounce of guilt. Such a carefree voice. A voice that doesn't suit the man who has it. "Don't call me that."

"Why not~?" The other ask childishly as his head peeked from behind the Judge's armchair, like a child "sneakily" watching their parents work. Neuvillette groans in respond, what did he do to deserve this? Why does he have to be stuck with this lunatic of a man? But as the lunatic once said to him "'What's a Judge without his Executioner?'"

[Name] giggles at Neuvillette's shift in mood. Oh how he loves it when the other is like this~ It brings such joy to his heart. "Come on, Neuvi~ relax why don't ya~" He says, putting his chin on the other's shoulder as he gave his signature Cheshire grin.

Neuvillette roll his shoulder to get [Name] off of him as he continues on with his paper work. [Name] huff in annoyance, fixing his stature he eyed the Judge's paperwork before crossing his arms and leaned his back against the back of Neuvillette's armchair as he looks at the window in front of him. The two stayed like that in silence. It's neither uncomfortable nor comfortable just pure and utter silence with only the sound of Neuvillette's pen writing on the paper.

As time passes, Neuvillette decided to initiate a conversation with the lunatic. "Are you truly a lunatic as they claim to be?" This caught [Name]'s attention. "Oh? and why is it suddenly a part of your concerns, Monsieur Neuvillette?"

Neuvillette could practically hear the smirk in [Name]'s voice but before he could reply [Name] spoke up. "Believe what you want to believe, Monsieur Neuvillette. I don't care what you all think of me."

----------

The whole room erupts in whispers and murmurs regarding the lunatic of an Executioner as he had just executed a man that had been declared guilty by the Chief Justice.

"What a madman."

"He's insane."

"Why isn't he the one to get executed?"

"How did he even become an executioner to begin with?"

Those words continues as those voices becomes louder and louder. Neuvillette taps his cane on the floor hard enough to the point the loud sound echoes throughout the whole room, silencing the courtroom. Every time an execution is about to begin. This always happens. The whole room will be filled with many whispers and murmurs of people wondering just how a man can be so unhinged and.. excited about executing someone.

This also.. drove Neuvillette to start questioning a few things.

No matter the day, the time.. that lunatic always have that Cheshire grin on his face, that insane, maniac look.

How does a human learn to know such madness and insanity?

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Imagine pretty boy Steve trapped in a mirror for his vanity.

Except he grows as a person so much that his sole purpose becomes boosting self-esteem of everyone looking into the mirror (unless they're being an asshole in which case, bye any semblance of personal worth).

"Looking great, Dustin, go and get them! Oh wait, move your tie slightly to the left, that's it, good job buddy, go go go!"

"Seriously Robin, there's no way your lady isn't all over you the moment you step in that restaurant. Did you wear smudge-proof lipstick? Time to test it."

"No, Nance, it's not weird to ask your ex-boyfriend if you look presentable, I mean, who else is better qualified? Good choice of dress for the interview, you're going to ace it."

"El, it doesn't matter how long your hair is. Yeah, it was so pretty, but it will grow back. But you know what else? You have gorgeous eyes, a wonderful smile and the way you say "mouth-breather" is everything. As long as you have that smile you'll be the prettiest girl around, so don't you dare worry about it."

"Mike, stop looking like someone stepped in your birthday cake, you're a handsome young man and Will is going to love the new haircut. If I'm wrong, feel free to come back and spread mustard all over my frame, but I've yet to be wrong. Yeah, you're a bit of an asshole too, now go and get your boy!"

"Joyce, you're as beautiful as always, but from what I know about Hopper, he'd think you're the most beautiful person alive if you were wearing a potato sack. But this dress is perfect and you look so happy. I wish you all the best on your date!"

"Yeah Jason, looks aren't the issue here...nothing I can do to help you all the ugly stuff on the inside buddy. Sure, smash the mirror if you want - good luck by the way, it's fucking cursed for a reason - but that won't make the truth hurt less, huh?"

And then Eddie accidentally steps in front of him and Steve has never seen anyone so unaware of his own beauty. And Eddie seems to be the only one apart from Robin who realizes how lonely he sometimes gets so he often takes Steve with him no matter where he goes (the big van is handy) and Steve makes sure to shower him with compliments, gradually finding exactly the right doses and right words to make Eddie understand how special he is, how radiant his smile looks, how he's so animated when he talks about things he loves-

And on the day when Eddie looks into the mirror and finally sees himself just as Steve sees him, the mirror cracks and Steve falls out, disoriented and kind of terrified, what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck-?!

But Eddie just smiles at him and hugs him, the first human touch in such a long time it makes Steve tear up. "Finally!" exclaims Eddie and pulls him even closer. "No shame at all Stevie, but that frame was fucking heavy!"

[headcanonenthusiast]

COD characters and their opinions on toys

Includes Valeria Garza, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo Parra, Simon Riley, König, Kyle Garrick, John Price and Alex Keller.

All headcanons, besides Valeria's, are gender-neutral.

Ladies, gentlemen and everyone in-between, I got an ask from an anonymous user that gave me an absolutely devilish idea. They suggested a multitude of things, but one thing they requested was another COD characters x reader headcanons, but specifically, how they feel about using toys.

Also, if you've been following me for a while, you'll know that I've never written for Price before. He's literally my grandpa but imma do my best to deliver for you Price lovers 🙏

NSFW under the cut.

Enjoy!

Valeria Garza

-Sooooo, yall know how I said she'd encourage the use of toys when away, but when she's with you she won't let you touch one? She still does that.

-Her view on toys is actually quite positive despite restricting your use of them. She kinda just denies you the right to use any toys she hasn't picked out for you specifically bc it turns her on (and bc she's a bitch ❤)

-If she catches you using a toy that she didn't permit you to use, she'll crank the intensity on said toy up to 100 and basically overstimulate you until you're complaining and crying. (Consensually, ofc. Consent is important y'all 🙏)

-"What did I say about using toys without my permission, hm? That's right-I said not to. But, you didn't listen, did you? No, no, you stop that shit. If you didn't want me to punish you, you never would've picked up that vibrator in the first place."

-Shes absolutely RUTHLESS if you use a toy without her permission.

-But, when it comes to toys she DOES want you to use, she'll either intruct you how to use them or just control the toy herself.

-Personal favorite toy is a vibrator, but she also loves using a strap, but only on you. She'll never let you use any type of strap/dildo on her.

-Will occasionally use a vibrator if you aren't there/in the mood on herself, but will never let you use one on her.

Alejandro Vargas

-If you suggest the use of toys, he'll look at you like 🤨

-"Toys? You wanna start using toys? Am I not enough for you anymore, mi chula/o? (Girl/boy)"

-He'll probably think he's not satisfying you enough if you suggest it, but he's open to trying it after you insist that he's still able to satisfy you.

-When he does try them out with you, they become a staple in your sex life. Specifically a vibrator for each of you to use.

-Does prefer it where it's just you two, though. Sex toys are kinda like a special treat he likes to indulge in on occasion.

-After you introduce him to vibrators, though? He uses them all the time for masterbating.

-May or may not send you videos of him pleasuring himself with the toys yall bought together 🤭

-Also may or may not eventually want to get a vibrator that has his name engraved on it for you, so you can use it whenever he's out on missions :)

Rodolfo Parra

-Kinda like Alejandro, where he only uses them sometimes, but has probably used at least a fleshlight before yall got together.

-He's honestly a sucker for vibrators, but it's become something he only does with you. Won't use them to please himself because he needs to hear your voice for it to feel really good.

-His opinion on toys is more positive as opposed to Alejandro's in the beginning, though. He's perfectly fine with the suggestion and doesn't feel embarrassed when you two (obviously) may not know how to use a specific toy for the first time.

-"Don't worry, amor (love). It's only our first time. If we like it, we'll use it again, and the more we use it, the better it'll feel."

-Very encouraging of you if you wanna buy a new toy. And he doesn't necessarily mind what it is, either. Fleshlights, vibrators, straps, most toys he's open to trying.

-Would totally send you videos (or more so, just the audio) of him using any toys you bought for him. Very vocal about it, too. (I'm a firm believer that Rudy has a voice kink)

-Will occasionally send you links to toys he think you'd like on Amazon or something and be like "if you give me a bj I'll buy you this for Christmas " (you don't have to give him a blowjob. He'll buy it for you anyway)

König

-I feel like he'd be a biiggggg fleshlight enjoyer.

-Would love to use one and pretend it's you when you aren't there.

-He's kinda ehhh about other toys, though. Mostly because his fleshlight satisfies him enough without the addition of others.

-If you wanna use them on yourself, that's fine. König just wants you to be happy.

-But, if you wanna use one on him? May Lord have mercy 🙏

-Will probably manhandle you for the suggestion, pinning you down and punishing you how he sees fit.

-Maybe, when he finally loses all self-respect for himself, he'll try it out.

-"But only once." He says, not willing to admit how much he learns to love vibrators.

-Will totally use one when you aren't home. Wouldn't be caught dead by you with one, though. If he asks you what time you'll be home, there's one of two things going on.

-#1: He just misses you

-#2: He's using a vibrator and wants to know if he has enough time to cum before you get home

John Price

-Not a big toy guy honestly, not even with fleshlights or simpler toys.

-Like...I feel like he'd be okay with trying something like a vibrator or sex doll, but he just won't like it as much.

-"These toys aren't anywhere near as good as you, darling."

-They really just aren't for John, but he doesn't wanna deprive you of using them. Most of the time, anyway.

-Sometimes, he'll catch you with one while he hasn't had the best day and is desperate for you. So, he'll take control of the toy for you, gently edging you before taking you for himself.

-"Can't believe you thought that that little toy could compare to me, love."

-Despite barely using the toys himself, he's the one who insists on washing yours after you use them around him. He knows how sensitive the combination of him and toys must make you, therefore, he doesn't want you to move an inch afterwards.

Kyle Garrick

-He's a big toy enthusiast. Loves them, anything that vibrates in particular. Probably has a cockring.

-Gaz is also more than happy to let you use whatever toys you want. On yourself, on him, he's pretty open to when it comes to the use of sex toys.

-On the occasions where you aren't there, he'll send you a video or picture of him using a toy (Totally not to tempt you home, totally not).

-"Look at what you do to me, baby. Can't keep my hands to myself when you're not here."

-I feel like he'd like mutual masterbation. Just watching you use a toy of your choice is enough to make him cum.

-He'll also place any toys on the bedside table to be washed the next morning (which is important btw❗❗) and may or may not get the biggest smirk on his face seeing whatever mess y'all left behind.

Simon Riley

-Appreciates a good fuck with a fleshlight or pocket pussy.

-But besides those types of toys? Ehhh..

-Not really his thing. Like I said in the Simon specific headcanons, he's not really that crazy when it comes to sex. He's not the type to judge his partner if they use toys, but if they manage to piss him off, I feel like he'd hide them. (Would probably just put it on a high shelf or something if you're shorter 💀💀)

-"You're not getting that stupid toy back. Not till you say sorry."

-Might even tease you with the toy, like drawing it over your dick/pussy and chuckling when you demand he give it back.

-"Oh, you want it back, do ya? No, no, no. Sorry, love, but I think I'd like to see why you like this little thing so much before I hand it over."

Alex Keller

-He loves anything that vibrates.

-Almost as much as he loves you, actually. Uses them religiously whenever you aren't in the mood/there.

-Like Gaz where he likes to use them during sex, but not really with mutual masterbation.

-Instead, he'll have a vibrator or even an anal plug on himself while he eats you out/sucks you off. (Totally moans against your cock/pussy btw, he's fairly vocal 🤭)

-Or, you can use a toy on yourself while you give him a handjob and he'll praise you endlessly for it.

-"Aw, does that feel good, baby? Yeah? Good, good girl/boy."

-At the end of the day, though, he'd much rather be cumming from your touch than a toy. So, he'll put them aside so he can have you all to himself. You're absolutely irresistible to him, afterall. How could he choose a toy over you when you're so perfect in his eyes?

Yall I'm SO sorry that this took me forever. Life has been absolutely slaughtering me, but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. Next up will be COD men x male reader headcanons, so be on the lookout for that!

Feel free to ask me what I should do next! My inbox is always open.

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: A Day In The Life

————————————————————————-

Summary: You do a mini TikTok vlog of a day in the life with your boys while pregnant. (Pregnancy announcement to the public!)

Warnings: Fluff

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine Universe: Into The Mystic

————————————————————————-

January 10, 2024

After posting some more pranks I've done on Joe, surprisingly, my following on TikTok has grown significantly.

Usually, posting Joe on my socials garnered negative attention, AKA hate. I did it because social media apps were meant to share your life, and Joe was a huge part of my life.

I never meant it in a braggadocios way, but that's what people seemed to take from my family photos and post-win pics with my husband.

That's why I was so surprised to see that everyone loved my Joe pranks.

The comments held a consensus that I’d never seen under a post of mine, they loved Joe and I’s dynamic.

I didn't need the public fan validation to make me feel secure in my relationship with Joe, but for once, they understood how special our relationship was, and some even apologized for past statements.

“They love us, Joe.” - you

“No, honey, they love you.” - Joe smiled

After those words were shared, Joe pointed out how all the comments were mostly praising me.

“take back everything I said abt her.”

“stop she matches joe’s energy so well…”

“the way he can’t stay mad at her, they’re so in love”

“actually such a cute couple”

“they compliment each other so well!”

“i see why joe married her! 🥹”

“i want y/n to be MY mom.”

“who gave y/n the right to be so adorable.”

“she’s so fun!”

“the way joe looks at her.. 😭”

“still jealous, but he loves her sm.”

“MY PARENTS.”

“i bet y/n’s the best mom and wife”

“Everyone’s switching sides now, but they never deserved hate. Joe wouldn't marry her if he didn't love her, and I'm glad that you guys can see that now. She makes him really happy!!”

“See? Some are even requesting more videos, baby. Do you see how many new followers you've gotten?” - Joe

“It's just because I posted content of you…” - you

“No, don't say that. It's because you showed your personality, and they love you. They see why I love you.” - Joe

“Do you really think so?” - you

“I know so. Everyone thinks your pranks are hilarious, you're funny, and you handle me super well.” - Joe

“I do handle you super well.” - you laughed

“The best.” - Joe winked

——

That was two days ago, right after we put the twins to sleep and right before we went to bed ourselves.

Currently being nine in the morning, I just woke up.

It was off-season now, but that still meant early mornings.

This morning was a little different, though, because I was making a ‘day in the life’ TikTok.

Since my pranks had become a hit, I've gotten quite a few video ideas from fans in the comments. Most wanted to see more of our everyday lives and wanted to know what it was like as an NFL wife and mother.

So, I decided to do a short video to show what our family day routine was like on an average off-season day.

The thing is… Joe didn't know it was happening.

Joe loved that I was finally being seen the way he saw me but was still weary of what I was posting.

He wasn't a huge fan of social media, and being super public with our relationship and kids, he detested it.

I respected it, but sometimes Joe would ask to participate in a video unprompted.

Lately, that has become a bigger case, so I was hoping he wouldn't mind taking part in the mini-vlog.

Joe was still asleep when I got out of bed, so I discreetly walked into the bathroom after grabbing my phone.

I wouldn't be talking in the video, just showcasing the sounds of the background and whatever I was doing, while the text that I would put over it later would describe what was going on.

After making little clips of me brushing my teeth, washing my face, and brushing my hair out, I walked back into the bedroom.

Next, I recorded a little snippet of me picking out my outfit - leggings and one of Joe’s hoodies - before turning my phone off to get changed.

Now that I was ready, I headed downstairs to start breakfast.

I pulled ingredients out of the fridge for Joe’s smoothie, omelets for me and me, and some of the ingredients for the boy's pancakes.

Just as I was starting the blender, a sleepy-looking Joe with raging bedhead shuffled into the kitchen.

“G’morning.” - you grinned

Thankfully, he put on sweatpants and a T-shirt, and I was glad of that because he'd complain about being shirtless on camera.

“Hi.” - Joe mumbled

“You good, buddy?” - you laughed

“Mhm. I just don't like waking up to see that you're not next to me.” - Joe

“Awe, I'm sorry. C’mere.” - you

I opened my arms to Joe, and he immediately was in my embrace. My arms were around his waist as I squeezed him, and his head lay on my shoulder.

When he pulled away from me, Joe’s eyes landed on the recording camera and immediately went wide-eyed.

“Why are you recording?” - Joe

“I'm making a ‘day in the life' video. I won't put anything in it that you aren't comfortable with, like what just happened.” - you

“Oh… ok. Yeah, don't put that in, though, because I sound like a baby.” - Joe

His grimace made me laugh because I thought our interaction was cute. Then again, I loved Joe’s needy, soft side. It was purely adorable.

“My baby.” - you grinned

“Stop…” - Joe

Joe was trying to hide his smile as his cheeks turned pink, and I couldn't help but giggle. I loved knowing I could make him blush, even after all the years we've been together.

“Do you need help recording anything?” - Joe

“Not at the moment, but if I do, I'll ask you.” - you

“Okay. Want me to make the pancakes?” - Joe

“Sure! Can I get a clip of you flipping them?” - you

“Of course.” - Joe smiled

Shortly after that, Joe got started on the pancakes, and I recorded a little video to get audio of the sizzling from the hot pan.

When I got a short clip of Joe flipping a mini pancake, I didn't put his face in it, but you could very clearly see it was him. His easily recognized bracelets and hands gave that away, along with the laugh the speaker picked up when he executed the flip perfectly.

“I should be a pro cook.” - Joe

“We both know that shouldn't happen.” - you

Joe busted out laughing and told me to put that in the mini-vlog.

“Will do.” - you giggled

——

Later in the day, I had gotten most of the wanted content filmed, including waking the boys up, breakfast, and playing/cleaning around the house.

Now, Joe, Me, and the boys were on our way to the reason for the entire video.

AKA the ultrasound that I'm having today.

It was a hard launch of my pregnancy, but Joe and I thought we'd include it in the video since my maternity photoshoot wasn't for a couple more weeks. The reason we were announcing it before the shoot was because it was getting hard to hide my growing bump. We’d much rather announce it ourselves than someone screenshot a picture of me in the background with a round belly.

When we got sent back to the ultrasound room, Joe sat in the chair next to where I was. Tyson was in Joe’s lap while Miles sat in the chair next to them.

“You ready to see sissy?” - Joe

Tyson and Miles both nodded, causing Joe and I to both smile.

Soon the ultrasound tech walked into the room and before I knew it, the familiar feeling of cold gel on my stomach made me hiss.

“Okay, Mama?” - Joe

“Gel’s just cold. I'm fine.” - you smiled

Joe made sure to get a good video of you watching the monitor, and he felt tears pricking in his eyes at the sight of his baby girl.

He would never get tired of being called, girl dad, Joe wore it like a proud Boy Scout who had just received a new badge.

“Baby Girl is doing great, measuring how she should be, and is very healthy.” - Tech

“Good.” - you and Joe in sync

After a few more minutes, she wiped off my bump, and I was set to go.

Joe helped me off of the chair and pulled the hoodie back over my stomach.

“I love you.” - Joe grinned

“I love you too.” - you

——

I spent the first thirty minutes back home editing together the clips I already had, getting approval from Joe for each one.

It surprised me how much feedback and “Oh, this would be cool!” Joe was giving me. He liked this more than I thought he would.

We ate dinner just shortly after that, and the rest of the afternoon was slow, as it usually was.

Tyson and Miles went to bed earlier than usual, so Joe and I spent the majority of the evening watching space documentaries that Joe had been wanting to watch.

The last video of the day routine vlog was of the TV in front of us, Joe’s hand on my bump in view, as well as our legs tangled together.

I never truly appreciated the little things in my everyday life till they were pointed out in a video, like how Tyson always looks at Joe for approval before doing something or how Miles's eyes crinkle up when he smiles, just like his daddy’s.

Watching back at the completed TikTok while tucked into my handsome husband’s side as he rubbed over my baby bump and drew little shapes on it with his thumb had me thinking something I seem to always find my mind drifting off to. Oh, boy, was I one lucky girl.

————————————————————————-

Authors note: cutie family fluff for Sunday

Request for this fic; thank you anon! 🫶

Hope you enjoyed! 💕

[mlarty]

I've been really curious about your ocs, the ones for your universe "Utroba" specifically your lady doctor (does she have a name?) cause I adore her design but what's her personality? Does she have any supernatural abilities? Is she a hero or villain? Stuff like that.

Oh wow question about UTROBA, god yesssss thank you for asking. A lot of things in this project are still really raw and we only share concepts and some art, but we have something to tell about this lovely woman

Her name is Grigora Vocula. She is the second main character of one of our UTROBA stories after Temir and his companion-partner. She is a doctor of medicine, and also a teratologist and aberration consultant — think of her as a special pathologist who studies the original mutant monsters (aberrants), and also helps in investigating cases with them and sometimes with local cultists

She's not the villain in our story, but she's not a hero either. She's just a very good doctor who knows how to do her job, but she gets involved in a very big story. Her personality is inspired by characters like Dana Scully, Dankovsky, Gregory House, Filipp Preobrazhensky, Kim Kitsuragi... Grigora is cold, emotionally closed, authoritative, cynical, but lives her work like a real nerd and can really be passionate if we talk about her as a professional. She doesn't see personalities in people and is surprised when they see a person in her

While she lacks empathy, she is faithful to her personal principles and the law, viewing the world around her as a system of rules and logic. She is used to being alone, living alone, and working alone. Okay, not entirely alone; Grigora has a little dog — proof that someone can be really dear to her, even though she denies it. In any case, dead bodies have become much better friends for her than colleagues... However, Temir destroys everything one day when he suddenly decided to awakens on her table right before the autopsy. It’s a looooong story

She doesn't have any supernatural abilities, but at some point she will have to face the risk of becoming what she is fighting against — an aberrant, and it will look something like this

And a few lil facts about her

She's tall. Like.. really tall. 192 cm of authority

A heavy smoker

Grigora is a lunar. Lunarism is similar to our albinism in UTROBA, but with its original lore. It also affects her appearance, making her skin and hair colorless, and her eyes moon-yellow. So she make up her eyebrows and eyelashes to make them black

Loves crosswords and card games

A representative of the intelligentsia and has a privileged status in communist society

[strawb3rry-acid]

More König Headcanons

Just some more König headcanons I wanted to throw out there while I finish working on an analysis of his personality. It's taking longer than I first expected lol.

More of these are fairly random, but there's some involving relationships, his personality, and other things. Just random, and fairly soft stuff ♡

꙳︼❍︼꙳

❍ Admittedly, I don't think this man is the type too be considered "attractive" by the majority of people(I know there's some debate on whether or not the glitch showing his face is truly his face or not. Personally, I'm on the fence here, so I wanna add my little twist to it since it's mentioned that it's rumored what's under his mask is even scarier than his intimidating presence.)

❍ The type too hide things up high if someone pisses him off just out of petty spite. He'll gladly watch them struggle till they will, probably, have too ask him for help. It gives him that "ha, I win" rush. Spiteful, cheeky bastard.

❍ I've mentioned this before, but I think he's got a soft spot for women. Having been in the military, and having rescued victims of human trafficking (it was mentioned in his bio at one point, but I think it's been removed for some reason) he's seen the violence, and bigotry women face, and can be pretty protective. He may have severe social anxiety, but he won't hesitate too step in if he senses some jackass is harassing a woman.

❍ Speaking of which, I do think he's the type too step in, and shut shit down if someone's being mistreated, and has issues speaking up for themselves. It's in his own quiet, subtle way of course(Death glares, firm grabs if needed, etc), but he'll still likely step in if he feels it's necessary. (It just makes sense to me considering his past with bullying, him specializing in hostage rescue, as we'll as some of his voice lines expressing deep loyalty, and his likely enjoyment of being helpful. I don't think he takes too kindly to disrespect. Specifically if it's someone who's innocent, and who's been respectful/kind too him. If it's someone he enjoys being around, then he'll definitely step in).

❍ Neither a dog, nor a cat person. I think he's fairly indifferent too both, but if he had too chose, he'd chose dog's. He likes cats as he relates too their typically solitary behavior, but enjoys the fact that dog's tend too be very affectionate, and loving animals.

❍ I feel like he's a very competitive person. He enjoys a good challenge as it gives him a chance too show off his skills, specifically in combat. I wouldn't recommend trying to compete with him though. He can become pretty ruthless depending on the situation, especially if he feels he's losing, and will seek to out do them. Trust me, with his determination, the other person will lose.

❍ He's used to his height by now, and is very cautious of it, but he'll still bump his head, and knock things over sometimes(I know a man how's 7ft, and he's always doing that lol.)

❍ On another note, I think he has mixed feeling's about his height. On one hand, he loves the fear it brings to enemies out on the field. On the other hand, he despises the attention it draws too him off of the field. He's a very private man who likes to slip by unnoticed, and his height makes it difficult for him too do so. The fact that he intimidates innocent people tends to make him feel pretty disheartened as well.

❍ In a partner, I don't think he cares about looks. The fact that their accepting of him, and love him is all he needs, and wants. He'd love a plus sized partner, a muscular partner, a thin partner, a tall partner, a short partner, and everything in between. As long as their healthy, and happy he doesn't give a rat's ass.

❍ He definitely has plenty of stretch marks. He's a tall guy after all, and he probably grew tall very quickly.

❍ I don't think he's the most touchy person in the world, but he doesn't mind it either. While he doesn't like being touched by strangers in the slightest, he has no issues with loved ones touching him. It's just probably something he won't really initiate himself very often unless it's more subtle touches(think pats on the back, or gently squeezing shoulders). Instead of touch, he more so just let's people he cares for linger in his space, and will keep them closer too him.

❍ I've mentioned this before as well, but I think he's a gamer, especially when it comes to games involving some form of combat. Video game wise, I think he'd enjoy what most consider too be "dad" games. Video games, and board games would be one of his favorite ways too bond with loved one's. He can get really riled up to an amusing degree.

❍ Cannot tolerate spicy foods to save his life, but will eat them too seem tough.

❍ Very bad when it comes to expressing affection through words, and touches. He tries, but he's just so damn awkward, and is worried about doing/saying something that'll make them uncomfortable. Much more prefers too show affection through act's of service.

❍ However, he does have his moments of being very physically, and verbally affection. This will likely happen when he's comfortable being around the person, he's been away from them for a long time, and/or has seen some really horrible things that remind him of the fact he could lose them at any moment. If it's the case that he's seen something horrendous, then he's lingering around them all the time, and it can be hard to pry him off of them.

❍ Always checking in with people he's close to. He has a very deep understanding of what it's like to be alone, and never wants them too feel that way.

[kataloviekuri]

Puppy | Shanks x Fem! Reader

• Shanks has a crush on you ;) [ fluff + angst ! ]

a/n : no makino here!! English is not my first language and this is my first time writing fanfics in English !! So forgive me if there's any mistakes !! :)

➱ part 2

You sigh softly as the wind takes away the heat around your body . Today is such a long day , you thought . Also it was strange that Luffy hasn't popped up yet . He came to have breakfast in the morning but he ate as fast as he could and ran out of the bar . You haven't seen him since then . You are worried , he's such a stubborn little man . Nothing can stop him from doing what he wants , well except for his grandpa .

You put the glass on the counter when you heard footsteps . You turn around , eyes wide when you saw Luffy walking towards the bar with tall , grown and scary well maybe not that scary looking men . Luffy shout your name , running towards you .

" Luffy ~ " You rub his fluffy hair as he hugs your legs tightly .

" And who are these people ? .. " You ask him quietly .

" They're my friends !! " Luffy laughs and says proudly .

The man with red hair walks towards you , he laughs softly when he sees the look on your face .

" My name's Shanks and these big guys are my friends " . You blush when He takes your hands gently . his hands are so big .You can't help but look down at his hands , your hands are almost disappeared in his own . You tell him your name , pulling your hands back .

" To tell the truth ..... We're actually pirates , Red hair pirates "

Oh god ... You really hope Garp is still on his duty .

Well , they look quite friendly . There's nothing to worry about .

" This is not the first time pirates come to this town " You smile at them . " What would you like to drink ? " You stand behind the counter and take out the glasses from the cabinet .

" Juice ! Juice ! Juice ! " Luffy says as he bangs his fists on the counter . He looks really happy .

" Shuu .. Luffy, no juice for you today . How about a glass of milk , huh ? "

" NOOOOO !! "

" You promised me yesterday , didn't you ? "

" but- "

" Luffy " His voice was cut off by Shanks . Shanks leans on the counter , his face is almost close to yours .

" You have to listen to what this beautiful lady said " You frown when a teasing smile appears on his face .

" Huh ! Fine " Luffy pouted .

" Kids huh? " Shanks chuckles as he gaze at you .His eyes are beautiful , looking at you like you are something special .

" Yeah but Luffy is different " You giggle .

Since then , Shanks always comes to the bar . He flirt with you . He told you about himself , his pirate life and adventures . Sometime when you're listening to what he says , he touchs your hand or traces his fingers on your palm . At first you were shy but it becomes something he always does to you . He always brings your favorite flowers . He walks you back home , tells you lame jokes when you're upset . As time goes by , you're starting to like him , the way he smile and laugh , the way he touches your hands , the way he flirts , not in a way to make you uncomfortable but to see you stammer and blush . God , you love everything about this man .

You haven't seen Shanks today . You look at the entrance everytime someone walks in and look through the windows hoping to see someone with red hair . You miss him . You sigh , hand on your chin while reading a book .

Then all of a sudden Luffy walks in , stomping his foot on the floor .

" What's the matter ? " You asked .

" Nothing " " Milk please " The fact that he looks angry but still asking you politely for milk makes you laugh .

" Tell me what's wrong ? " You set a glass of milk in front of him and ask .

" I've been waiting for Shanks in front of his room for hours to play ! Then Benn came out and told me that Shanks is busy , they all are busy ! . He didn't even come outside of his room ! I know they don't want to play with me ! That's why they are hiding in his room ! "

" Maybe they're really busy . They're pirates . They still have works to do , you know ? "

" I'm a pirate too ! I will become a pirate just like Shanks " Luffy murmur causing your eyes to wide .

" Luffy ! You're grandpa is a Vice Admiral of the Marines . He would never allow you to do that "

" I don't care " He giggle and continue to drink his milk . Oh boy ....

The door slam open as Shanks and his friends walk in . Your heart skips a beat as soon as you see Shanks . He sits in front of you and grabs your hands before you could do anything .

" Did you miss me , darling ? " he asks with a stupid smirk on his face . You feel your heartbeat getting faster and faster .

" What if I did " You answer and try to pull your hands back but he grip your hands .Shanks leans forward until his face is an inch away from yours .

" Then I'd be the happiest man alive in the whole world " He whispers .You can hear his crewmates laughing and cheering him like " Woo , Go Captain ! " " I wish I have a girl like that " which makes him grin . The fact that Shanks hasn't moved his face away from you and keep staring into your eyes is not helping the situation . Fuck , if he keeps staring at you like that , you are going to kiss him . But thankfully Luffy interrupts them .

" What were you guys doing !? I was waiting for you !" Finally , Shanks looks away from you , you exhale . That was close .

" We were busy , Luffy "

" Busy doing what ? "

" Pirate stuff " Shanks answers as he drinks his beer .

" We were deciding on which land we'll go next " Lucky Roux says loudly from where he was sitting . Yassop slap his shoulder . He was sitting with Benn and Yassop .

" YOU'RE LEAVING !??! " Luffy's voice echo through the bar . You look at Shanks in shock and see him sending daggers to Lucky Roux .

" Shit .. sorry , Captain " Lucky Roux says nervously , rubbing the back of his neck .

" We can't stay here forever ,Luffy " Shanks says to Luffy and looks at you . You notice the slight sadness in his eyes . You turn your back to them and put the glasses in place . You feel heavy and sad all of a sudden . He's leaving ?? What does he mean he can't stay forever ??? He- Oh right , like you said , he's a pirate . He still has the whole world to explore . Oh no , you have to stop thinking or you're going to cry .

~~~~~

It's around 11 pm when you lock the bar's door . After finding out Shanks is going to leave , the rest of the day didn't went well . Shanks was following you everywhere like a lost puppy trying to get your attention and you were acting like somebody just sat on your head . Almost every customers were asking if you're alright .You rubbed your hands on you face roughly . Suddenly a shadow appears in front of you and you scream .

" AHH- !!! "

" Hey sweetheart , it's just me " Shanks chuckles and gets closer to you as you start to walk away .

" Hey .. what's wrong ? " He follows and hold your hand from behind . His voice was surprisingly calm . You stop walking and look up at him . It's dark near the bar and no one is there , you can't see his face clearly but with the help of moonlight, you see a hint of sadness in his eyes .

" When are you leaving ? "He doesn't answer you immediately . He takes a moment and breath deeply .

" Next week " .You look down and grab his hands . Your eyes are watering before you even realize .

"Why are you crying , sweetheart ? "

He grabs your face gently and wipes your tears off . You feel the roughness of his hands on your cheeks .

" Please , don't cry " He whispers and kisses your forehead , his forehead touching yours .

" I like you , Shanks " You speak softly, staring into his eyes . His eyes wide with surprise . He holds his breath .

" Really ? "

" Yeah .. I've been for a while . I should have said sooner . Now it's too late I- I'm sorry " You hold him tightly and put your head on his chest . His hand brush the hair around your neck as he hugs you back . You two hug each other for minutes . Then He lifts your chin up , making you look up at him .

" Sweetheart , you have no idea how happy I am "

Shanks kisses you like you're a delicate little thing . You stand on tiptoe to kiss him back . It was supposed to be just a simple innocent kiss . But he doesn't stop kissing you and holds you firmly against him , the kiss turn passionate . He hesitantly pulls away from the kiss and rests his forehead against yours .

" Come with me " You hold his one arm as you start to walk back home .

~~~~~

The walk home was quite but the tension was thick that you could hear your own breathing . Your house is small and nothing special but interior decoration is cozy and pleasant . You have a large bookshelf which is full of books , small coffee table , a single bed that has a lot of pillows , small kitchen with a window causing the moonlight to enter the house . Shanks looks around you house , smiling and touching stuff like your books and coffee cups .

" It's nothing special " You says as you put your coat on the chair .

" No , darling . I feel like I'm going to cry now . This house is too comforting "

You snort at his dramatic comment . You feel nervous all of a sudden . Shanks , The man you like is literally in your house , so what now ? Do you have to make a move ? Tell him to come and kiss you ?

" Do you want to drink something ? " He turns around and walks slowly towards you . The smug smile on his face makes you nervous but also makes you want to punch him . This man . Why is he walking so slow !?? You don't even know if he's actually walking slow or you're just impatient .

" Actually , I'm going back to the ship " You stare dumbly at him . What ?

" I'm just joking , darling . I actually want to kiss you again if you don't mind " Before you notice , his face is close to yours . He stares into your eyes , waiting for your answer and seems to holding himself back . You wrap both of your hands around his neck and kiss him , he immediately grabs your waist and kisses you back . The kiss is messy but also sweet and loving . You clutch his shoulder when his tongue enters your mouth , you part your lips more to give him access . Shanks is kissing you like he's intoxicated with your lips . You try to pull away in need of oxygen but he grips the back of your head , your fingers go through his red hair , his strawhat drop onto the floor .

" Shanks " You're breathing heavily so your voice was tiny . Your lips are almost swollen . His hands goes behind your back and lay his fingers on the zip of your dress .

" May I ? " He asks for your permission , looking at you with adoration .

" Yes " You cup his cheeks and kiss him again , slowly and deeply . Your hands drop his coat and unbutton his shirt as he pull down your dress .

" Such a smooth skin " He mummers , kissing the corner of your lips . You sigh softly and close your eyes . " So beautiful " He kiss your nose . " The most beautiful girl I've ever seen " He pecks your lips one more time before tracing his lips on your jaw , his fingers running up and down on your neck .

" Can you strip as well ? " You asked him quietly .He sucks your neck and whispers into your ear . "Let me take you to bed " . He carries you in bridal style as you both stare into each other eyes . He set you on the bed and stands back , pulling his shirt off .

Fuck .. You want to trace your fingers on his abs , shoulder and arms but you hold yourself back . He kneels between your legs , hands griping your wrists on the side of your face . He looks like he's going feral .

You feel your body shaking , heart beat getting faster and faster as he buries his face between your neck and kiss your cheek softly .

" Let me make you feel good , sweetheart . I'll make sure you never forget this night "

You moan softly and close your eyes , enjoying the way he pressed kisses down your torso , caressing every roll and curve of your body .

This is going to be such a long night.....

~~~~~

You wake up to the feel of fingers on your skin . You slowly open your eyes , feeling the way fingers tracing gently on your skin . You roll over to see Shanks smiling at you , he's laying on his side as well , his lower body is cover by a thin white blanket .

You make a tried sleppy sound mixed with happiness , looking at him sheepishly .

" Good morning , princess " He comes closer to your face and whispers , lips almost touching yours . You grab the back of his neck and peck his lips as he grins , fingers touching your cheeks delicately .

" Did you sleep well ? " You ask as your hand runs up and down across his strong and broad back .

" I was busy admiring your delicious body , sweetheart " He teases . You slap his shoulder lightly as he laughs .

" I slept really well princess , I haven't sleep this good for a long time " He says as he nuzzles his face in your neck , licking on the marks he gave you last night .

" I don't want this to end but I really need to pee now , Shanks " You groan and let out a sigh but Shanks just keeps kissing and licking your neck .

" Shanks ! "

" Okay Okay " He giggles and let go of you .

" Want me to carry you , sweetheart ? " He teases again . " No , thanks " You roll your eyes as you get out of the bed .

~~~~~

You , Shanks and Luffy , the three of you sit on a wooden bench , Shanks is showing Luffy a map , the kid points all over the map and asking Shanks questions. You laugh while looking at them , you feel warm , comfortable and happy . People who pass by might think that the three of you are family . The thought of it makes you squeal with delight . But you know it could never happen . You like Shanks. No , you love him . You love him so much .

You look down , suddenly wanting to cry while playing with the flower Shanks gave you .

" Sweetheart ? " Shanks calls you softly as he brushes his thumb on your cheek . You smile at him and kiss his palm .

" Shanks ! What's the name of this island ?! " Luffy asks excitedly causing Shanks to roll his eyes .

" Just a second " He mummers and turns towards Luffy to answer his question .

After like two minutes , Shanks is getting tired of Luffy interrupting you and him . So he comes up with an idea .

" WHAT IS THAT ?!?!! " Shanks shouts and point at the sky . Luffy startle and looks at Shanks , then abruptly looks up the sky , squinting his eyes .

You giggle , Shanks scoop closer to you and kiss your cheek and then your lips .

" THERE'S NOTHING, SHANKS ! WHAT WAS THAT ?! " Luffy shakes Shanks arms , trying to get an answer from the red hair man . Shanks laughs loudly and hugs the little guy tightly .

" Shanks , I can't breath ! "

the next day ....

" Shanks .. I still have to work " You gasp when he locks his lips around your neck . You are against the wall , his hands either side of your head . You moan almost loudly when he grinds against you as you place your hand on your mouth . You try to push him but he makes you feel so weak . Your knees almost drooping onto the ground , Shanks presses his body against yours , holding you tightly like he can't get enough of you .

" Fuck .. baby " He moans into your ears , you grip his red hair .

" Shanks, please stop . I have works to do " You beg him sweetly and finally , he stops . You punch his shoulder .

" Ouch . What was that for , sweetheart ? " He cried out and dramatically pust his head on your chest . You giggle and pat his back .

" I love you , Shanks "

" I love you more "

~~~~~

" I'M GONNA BE KING OF THE PIRATES !!! "

You hear Luffy shouts at the Red hair pirates . You smile through your tears , he always tell you that . You are hiding behind the small cabin , avoiding Shanks at all cost . You sniff , wiping away the hot tears but they keep falling down . You cry your eyes out for almost half an hour , you don't want to see Shanks face or else you're going to beg him not to leave you . You cover your mouth , hoping no one would hear you cry as sit on the ground , hugging your knees to your chest .

" Sweetheart ? " Your heart drops when you hear Shanks soft voice . You stand up quickly and look down .

" Look at me baby " he breathe . His hand cup your cheeks . You look up , his nose touching yours .

" I love you so much , you know that ? " He gazes deeply into your eyes . His face become blurry as tears starting to flow down on your cheeks again . He hold you tightly , kissing your head again and again and again , mummering apologies .

" Don't leave me , Shanks "

" I'm sorry , sweetheart .. I'm so fucking sorry " He kisses your forehead .

" Please .. " You beg and grip his black coat tightly .

" I can't .. I'm sorry baby but I can't " He grabs your face gently and kisses your lips . You wanted to pull away and slap him for making you fall for him . But you didn't . You want to be his good girl . You want him to love you and always remember you . You want to make this last moment as loving as possible .

" I will come back for you , only for you , sweetheart " He attacks your face with kisses as you giggle through your tears .

" Promise ? " You asked quietly as he wipes your tears away .

" I'm promise " He kisses you again , wrapping your arms around his neck .

" I love you , Shanks "

" I love you too , sweetheart . More than anything "

~~~~~

You take out the letter from the drawer as you sit on your bed . You look around nervously , still can't believe that he sent you a letter after years .

I hope you're doing well , sweetheart . I know you hate me after what I did to you . You can hate me all you like and I will still love you from the bottom of my heart . How's Luffy doing ? I bet he's practicing to become a great pirate huh ? Haha .. I miss that kid .

But I miss you more . I miss you everyday . I want to see your cute face again , I missing kissing you and touching you , sweetheart . I will come back for you but I don't want to keep you waiting so it's best for you to live your life and forget about this mean bastard . I hope you still know how much I love you.

Akagami

You crumple the letter in your fist and throw it under the ground . A tear roll down your cheek as you wipe it away hastily .

" mamamama ~ "

You look down at your son , he was playing with toys and giggling minutes ago . But as soon as he saw you cry , his face becomes red , almost as red as his baby hair as he becomes to cry . His chubby hands flying in your direction and doing the grabbing motion for you to take him .

You sit down on the ground and pull him on your lap ." no , no , no .. don't cry baby " You coo and peck his forehead .

" It's going to be alright . Mama's here for you "

[liaswills]

Pick a card: A message from your past life self! 🪦🗡

Hello darlings! Today I bring you another pick a card- I felt the need to bring out some messages. The energy today is very much revolving around death- and it's relatively natural relation to life. So today I will bring you a pick a card- with a message of what your past self would tell you! Naturally this is a general message so take whatever resonates. All the love, Elias!

Pick a pile from 1, 2, 3 or 4!

Hello, my dear self. Some day you have wondered who you are- who you should become. But I want you to know that no matter whom you try to be- or whom you'll grow to believe says the right thing- it'll always be me whom you will come back to. I'm not scary. I'm you. I like to brace the horizon- with a smile and breathe in the morning air. I'm a morning person. I used to hunt birds- for food. And... truthfully- my life was never that long. I didn't get to experience my childhood as something I cherished. This is why you're not very good with people. I'm sorry that in this life- you too- struggle with being around crowds. You do- try to. Which is more than I ever did. I was more one with animals- nature- it's why... I never really got to be together with someone. Because I spent my life alone- you might feel like everyone hates you. Or suffer from anxiety everytime you try to make a friend- with your friends- or even the people you try to date or love. I'm sorry that this part of me- lingers- but no matter how it has manifested, it is what I desired most. Sometimes lives are so crowded that you just need one where you're by yourself. I did that already. You don't need to follow my example- because I want for you to flourish and be a butterfly. To do what I haven't. To be brave. To be bold. To dare. Dream. I know you think you're alone sometimes- but you're not! The spirits of all the animals I've taken care of- protect you still! It's amazing how loyal animals are. Yes- even your last pet. I know we have a special connection to animals- I know that we sometimes feel like they understand us- feel our energy- they do- but they won't create a depth in our emotional maturity and balance much like dramatic human relationships do. If you know me- you'd wish to have a life in social circles too. It wasn't fun. And I want to brace you to feel safe. To try and feel joy. To feel happiness. Try and do it when you can. Because that- will help me- and all of us before us. I'll be here to hug you. Because I'm your greatest supporter.

Forgiveness, is what it takes. Forgive me. Forgive yourself. I'm not like you- nothing like you at all. I was vain. And cruel. And unkind. I didn't see what you see. I didn't- I couldn't. I couldn't see how people were able to be the exact same as the other- i couldn't see how every life was worth living. I killed for things. I cheated in life. I climbed the social ladders and I hurt my hands doing so. I really fell. I fell in the end and it was my ending. I didn't have a long life- because when I was found out- everything I worked for, was done for. I wanted to become better. I needed to be a better self. You don't. You don't need to do this. If you continue down this road- if you continue to try and improve- it won't make you happy. It won't make me happy either. I think it's time for us to forgive ourselves. Because sooner than later- we are all that we have. I've known this too late. Very late. You need to start appreciating the things you do have. The money you do have. The family you live with. The country you're in. The name you have been given. Consider it all. You're almost there- you're almost free of this crude self torture. Just one more step- release this attachment. Release your ideas of how things should be. Please allow yourself to just be. To just trust in me. To trust in you. In us. Trust that we can do it. That we can do whatever we set our minds to. You've inherited my determination- don't spoil it with waivering in uneasyness. Don't spoil my end- for your life to be worse than mine. Don't befriend toxic people. Don't walk towards the red flags. I need you to see. See whom you're talking to. See whom you share your mind with. See what you think of without your phone for an hour. I need you to feel yourself- to love yourself- to feel our own world is more than what you think it is and could be. Forgive me- I was never from your world- but I was the you- you needed to become whom you are now. Forgive me. I'm sorry.

We aren't the same gender. I had to start with that. I've led a completely different existence based on my social norms and whom I was raised to become. If you're a fem energy- then I used to embody masculine. And vice versa. You might feel lingering touches of me- in the way that you can embody both energies. I want to say- I'm congratulating you- because I never dared or could. I lived very rigid. In a rigid place where I was expectant to preform a role in life. To be a provider- or a caretaker. I simply obeyed that life. I simply followed the norms. I don't want you to follow any norms other than your own. I fought bravely- I died gloriously- in battle- with a strong heart or perhaps not so strong considering it caved. I loved- I loved big. You inherited this. I loved my friends. My family. I even...loved another whom I couldn't be with. That longing for someone- I owe to you to release. I didn't really got the closure I needed. I didn't really tell this person- that my heart was theirs. And theirs alone. Yes- I've had children. I've done my duty- as was expected of me, but i didn't love my partner the way I loved this star crossed romantic ideal. It was an ideal. I never got to know them personally. It didn't matter. I liked to imagine what they would be like- and somehow that image of them was enough for me. I see you- I feel you, and your life is already so much more vibrant than mine. Thankyou! I truly- honestly, can say thank you. For being authentic- for truly honouring your own feelings. It doesn't matter what you become- or whom you'll chase- in the end, you've already done what you came here to do. For me- anyway. I think you're amazing. And you inspire me- and others, so much. So so so so so much. That truthfully- you should show yourself. To everyone. Haha. It isn't scary- remember your brothers- sisters- whom fought alongside you in the trenches- whom fought with you day and night to remain sovereign- to remain equal- to gain prowess and our voice back. Hang on Soldier- you have a long road to go. It'll be glorious- I can tell you that. From my point of view- your paving the way to a dream. I'll talk to you- in my mind- my world- my time- I talk to myself often actually, haha- but you will sometimes get more from talking to me too. Just... call me a friend you once were. And I'll be a friend to you too. It'll help greatly- I am indebted to you as much. Don't worry if you're not going to do it- I'm just here to give you the inspiration you need to get out there and flourish your shiny little way around the globe.

My funny Valentine.... sweet comic valentine....you make me smile, with my heart. Listen to "My funny valentine" by Chat Baker or Frank Sinatra, because I am giving you this song as I look upon you darling. I know sometimes we don't truly like ourselves. But you don't need to become someone else to love whom you truly are. Because you already do- trust me- the whole of you- all of us- all of your lives- we love you as you are and will continue to do so fiercely. Honestly- we were wild. I was wild. Haha. I was a bit freakishly in love with everyone. Gradually- that changed a little into a more tamed version of loving and being. But you inherited a spark of love for loving. Maybe... still a little unfooted- but, priceless either way. Truly- priceless to see. I know you think some things are scaring you- but they aren't truthful. It isn't real. It's hard to have trust in that but just trust me. Trust you. I am nothing but a charmy and flourishing lovely cottonball. Haha- joking! But we all are a little vixenous sometimes, right? Perhaps you will see me when we go out, that I enter your mind more and you become more me than I become you. Channel the spirit of the sex! Baby! Who did you think you were!? Don't say you're ashamed... I was truly... a heartbreaker but I am kind? That counts for something right. Hmmmm, what to tell you. I haven't really got a message for you. To be honest I think we're currently on our recreational life. Just do whatever you want dearie. I've got no problem with it. But... do tell your mother something like- love you, when you leave. I know! People, right!? Strange creatures. But you will come to know the greatest of people. The biggest. Bestest. Friends. Ever. Haha- woooooo! I am excited already for you. Anyway- lovely for you to think of me- I always imagined myself to be a celebrity in your life so who knows!? Did we.... do it? Oh who knows! Maybe that's just a fantasy. But romantizing life is what we're made for so- go ahead. Think and imagine and write away. Poetry is lovely. I find you adorable. And if you continue- we might find some treasures along the way.

[blarshwritezz]

Hey, could you write me a Yandere JUICY gay enemies to loves story? Male yandere enemy x male reader. For example, yandere is such a tsundere when it comes to his love for the reader and his way of showing his love comes out as insults, bullying, etc. and the reader just so hates Yandere but is unaware how much his mean insults, that sometimes come out as hella flirty and gay, turn on the Yandere or how they get incredibly flustered when reader corners them. Just make it hella obviously gay and perhaps with a one-sided sexual tension from the yanderes perceptive if you write NSFW that is, thanks! (You can ignore this request if you want, it's okay :))

Heck yeah I can! But be warned, I've never written nsfw, so it may be bad- but I'll try just for you, anon!

Yandere Enemy x Reader

M yan x M reader (slight context: y'all in college)

TW - general yandere behavior, NSFW, noncon, slight degration

Another day, another fight between you and Enemy!Yan. The people around you had pretty much become totally numb to your constant bickering.

But to be fair, they wouldn't have to put up with this if he wasn't such a massive prick. You never even did anything! He was the one who kept taunting you.

He shouldn't do that. Nearly every time you retaliate, he ends up fumbling to speak. He's such an idiot, can't take what he dishes out. Absolutely pathetic...

And so here you were. Today's little fight had you pinning him against a wall, trying to keep your voice relatively calm. You caught him taking pictures of you in the damn hall! He was definitely planning to do something with those.

"Don't act so special, I would never ruin my phone with pictures of you!" Lies. He was covering up for the fact that he absolutely was taking pictures of you.

But how could he not? It was your fault you were sexy! You were just infuriating to him. What gave you the right to make him so fucking turned on all the time?!

"Shut up before I make you. Delete those damn pictures." You pressed your body up against him further. You were so close that every breath he took filled his lungs with your scent. You really expected him to not get hard?

Please make him shut up. Please gag him with your cock. Please.

"I don't have pictures of your atrocious face. How thick is your damn skull?" Of course he didn't have pics of your face! Mostly- not from last night at least. He was more focused on your ass other things.

You grabbed his jaw, making him use every fiber of his being to not moan. You gave him a warning, making sure he knew bad things awaited him if you saw some dumbass pictures of you around campus. Oh to know what punishment you would give him...

"You want them gone so damn bad? Delete them yourself!" He wormed his way out from between you and the wall, running off with his phone held above his head.

And of course, you chased after him.

He ran, all the way to his dorm. He threw his phone on his bed, and of course, you went after it. That gave him the perfect chance to lock the door.

You found his phone already unlocked, and when you opened it...

"How do you have all these pictures of m-" He clamped his hand over your mouth before you could finish asking about the photos seemingly taken when you swore you were completely alone in your dorm.

"You're such a fucking tease, you know that?" His other hand slowly slid down your torso, working its way back up from under your shirt. "Always threatening me in ways you know will get me all hot and bothered, then not helping me out. How can you be so mean?"

He pushed you down further on the bed, starting to slowly grind against your thigh. His hand that was under your shirt, gliding over your chest, lowered further and further. All the way to your cock, grasping it through your pants.

You bit his hand as hard as you could, hoping it might help, but the action only elicited a pleasures whimper from him.

"Keep doing that, and make sure to lick it too. You'll need it for what I'm planning."

You squirmed as he lowered your pants and underwear in one swift motion, letting your cock spring free. Embarrassingly enough, you were already hard from all this.

"It's even better up close..."

He could help but give you a hand job. Slow and steady, savoring every second of this. He ran his fingers across each and every vein, keeping his thumb over your tip to stop you from cumming too soon.

Every now and then he'd surprise you; tightening his grip, increasing his speed, stopping for a brief moment just to get right back at it. He was turning you into a whimpering, pathetic mess.

"Fuck, you're so pathetic..." He let go of your mouth in order to hold your thighs apart slightly.

He moved his head between them, taking a nice long lick up your shaft before engulfing you with his mouth. He bobbed his head up and down, swirling his tongue around your tip and making you moan.

"Sto- ngh!~ Fuck..."

He chuckled at your attempt to tell him to stop, the sound vibrating around your dick.

You couldn't take it anymore. You grabbed his hair tightly, forcing yourself all the way down his throat as you came.

He eagerly swallowed your load, choking on it before releasing you from his mouth with a wet pop.

"Fuck, you taste damn good..." He groaned, wiping a few drops of your cum from his chin.

He mixed it with his own spit in his hand, using it to lube up his aching member before flipping you on your stomach and thrusting into you suddenly.

He could've cum right then and there just from feeling your tight asshole squeezing around him, but he held back. Well, not enough to keep himself from pounding into you, regardless of how ready you were or how much you wanted it.

His pace was brutal, every thrust seeming harder and harder. The only way he was able to keep (somewhat) silent was by trailing hickeys down your neck and shoulders, holding your head up by your hair.

"Such a good boy...you my bitch now?" Through grunts and moans he whispered in your ear. "This is what you get for being a damn tease. Fuck...yeah, you're my fucking bitch now. My little bitch boy..."

He started jerking you off again as he rearranged your guts, driving you closer to another climax.

"Now be a good whore and cum for me."

Yet again, as if your body just naturally wanted to do what he said, you bust a nut. And with a few more deep thrusts, so did he, painting your insides white.

He didn't pull out of you for a good few minutes, just laying there and holding you, until finally he whispered: "You didn't think I was done, did you?~"

I think this is the longest one I've done so far! I hope it was satisfactory!

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Valentines day (Emily Sonnett x Reader)

I don't really know what this is. The idea randomly came to me so I hope you like it :)

Summary: Emily loves valentines day so despite them being in a fight, Y/n still does something for her.

Warnings- Tiny bit suggestive at the end

Words: 1.8k

---

Emily and I had gotten into a pretty big fight a few days ago. We had barely talked or even see each other since with her staying in the spare room. I was meant to move to be with her, but there was a big project at work that I had to finish before I could. Well, I could have not done the project. It just meant likely missing out on a big promotion with my transfer. Understandably, Emily wasn't very happy about that because it meant a month or two before I could make the move. 

It was valentines day, we still weren't talking, but I wasn't going to not do anything because of that. With how pissed she was at me, she likely hadn't done anything for me, but I didn't care. I didn't care much about the day anyway. Emily loved valentines day though, I wouldn't take that away from her, no matter how annoyed I was.

Although I had to work today, I still wanted to make it as special as possible. Months ago I had made reservations at the fancy restaurant Emily had wanted to try. I didn't know if Emily would come to dinner with me, but I was going to be there to pick her up regardless. Before work, I made Emily her favourite breakfast. She was likely awake so I quietly peeked in the room to find her sitting up, scrolling on her phone. Emily didn't acknowledge me, only looking up when I placed the tray on her lap. I walked back to the door, stopping briefly before leaving. 

"Happy valentines day. I love you."

Just before the door closed I heard a quiet 'I love you'. It was something at least. I hadn't heard that in person since our fight. I would never go that long without telling her I loved her, so I had messaged her at least once a day. Emily always replied, sometimes even messaging me first.

Before leaving, I left flowers in a vase on the counter, making sure to put a fake flower in with it. Every time I got Emily flowers, I would add a fake one in. It had become sort of a tradition after we were messing around in shops one day and I jokingly held up a fake flower, telling her I would love her until it died. I also added a massage/spa voucher, a nail voucher and a letter. It was written before our fight. Everything in it was still true though so I wanted her to read it.

Hi my love, 

Happy valentines day. I want you to know how much you mean to me, not just on Valentine's Day, but every single day. You are my rock, my partner-in-crime, and my favourite person to spend time with. I love you more than words will ever be able to express. 

You bring light into my life in ways I never imagined possible. Your laughter and smile is infectious, it fills me with so much happiness, love, and warmth. Everyday with you is an adventure, filled with love, laughter, goofiness and so much more. Being with you is the happiest I've ever been. I can't wait for the adventures, the boring, the fun and everything else that awaits.  

Unfortunately, I have work to do today, but you deserve to be pampered like the royalty you are. Go enjoy your day getting pampered, then put on something semi fancy and a little sexy ;) I'll pick you up at 6:30. 

I love you more than words can describe <3

P.S I'm going to love you until the last flower dies.

-Y/n

---

Today had probably been one of my least productive days at work. I had spent the entire day thinking about if Emily would actually come to dinner with me. I would convince myself she would, then the doubt would creep in and I would convince myself she would stand me up. 

At 6:30, I was waiting in the living room for Emily. To be honest, I was still half expecting her to not come out. Thankfully, a few minutes later she appeared, wearing a knee length, halter neck red dress with black heels. My eyes roamed over her body, taking in every inch of her. Fuck, she looked incredible. I stood in front of her, not touching her because I wasn't sure where we actually stood. "You look incredible Em."

"Thank you, you look amazing Y/n/n."

I offered my arm, internally smiling when hers looped with mine, "You ready to go?"

"Yeah. Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

Emily was super excited when she saw where we were. Throughout dinner, things were slightly awkward, but we had both seemed to put our fight to the side for now at least. We talked about our days and any light hearted topics we could think of. Even though things were still a bit awkward, I was incredibly happy to be talking again. I did miss touching her though. We were a very touchy couple, especially in private. Normally, there would be arm or leg touches, random kiss or cuddles. Tonight there was only a few minutes of hand holding and a cheek kiss. 

"Thank you for today by the way. I haven't been pampered like that in a long time. You didn't have to make me cry with that letter though."

"You deserve to be pampered Em. You also know I'm better with written words then spoken."

"It was beautiful. I didn't forget or just not do anything by the way. Your gift is just running late, it should be here tomorrow."

"You know I wouldn't care if you didn't get me anything."

"I know, but you deserve to get spoilt as well."

After dinner, we found ourselves walking along the waterfront. We weren't talking or touching, but it was nice regardless. I didn't want to go home still on bad terms with Emily. The fighting was exhausting, I missed my girlfriend and just wanted to finish the night cuddled up with her. So when we came across a bench, I sat down, patting the spot next to me. 

A few minutes of silence passed before I decided to speak up, "I wasn't sure if you would come tonight. Honestly, I was expecting to be stood up."

"We may be fighting, but I wouldn't miss this for the world Y/n/n. I know you. Which means I know you thought about this and booked this months in advance. I know you put a lot of thought into valentines day because you know I like it. You put so much effort into this for me, I love you too much to just disregard that."

My fingers laced with hers, kissing the back of her hand,  "I don't want to be fighting anymore. I miss you."

"Me neither. I guess I was just hurt that you didn't want to come with me."

I turned so I was facing her, hands holding both of hers. I wanted her to see how serious I was, to remove any doubt about me wanting to be with her. After closing the distance, I couldn't imagine ever going back to that long term. I needed her to understand that. 

"Emily, I'm still coming with you. Not coming with you has never been a thought let alone an option. I just need a month or two to finish this project. It's not ideal, I know that, but this project will get me to the point in my career that I've been working toward for years. It'll mean less hours, more autonomy over what I do."

"Maybe didn't want to come was the wrong way to say that. I was worried that you would change your mind and decide you didn't want to move. Or what if the project runs longer or something happens."

"Hey, listen to me. You are my future Em, there is nothing that would make me not want to move with you. If I stay, even if the project runs longer, I will be coming to you in 2 months at the absolute most."

"If that happens you won't get your promotion."

"I'll figure it out if that happens. There will be other options if it comes to it. Look, if you really don't want me to stay, say the word and I'll move when you do. Our relationship is more important than a job."

Emily squeezed my hands, shaking her head quickly, "No, this is a huge opportunity for you. I'm not going to take that away from you because I got scared. Besides, you're moving because of me, it wouldn't be fair. Get that promotion then come home to me. I know it was a bit of an overreaction, we've done long distance before, it's just been a while and that fear creeped in. I love you Y/n/n."

"I love you. I will always come home to you, you are my home Em. Now that we've sorted that, kiss me because I miss that."

Emily cupped the back of my neck, lips connecting with mine in a rough, passionate kiss. Things got heated quickly so I pulled away as we were still in public. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. I'm sorry for being so stubborn."

"It's okay, let's not make a habit of it though. Since it's valentines day, can you tell me what my gift is?"

Emily chuckled, pecking my lips quickly, "Nope. You can be patient one more day."

"Fine. Can we get ice cream then go home and cuddle now?"

Emily winked, "Just cuddles?"

My fingers ran along her thigh, slipping under her dress, "Maybe spicy cuddles."

---

The next day, Emily and I had spent most of the day in bed sleeping after a long night and cuddling. I had surprised her with breakfast before confusing her by getting back into bed. Normally, I would have to work, but after the last few days, I had decided to take the day off to just spend time with her. About mid afternoon, Emily dragged us out of bed to shower and finally get dressed. I didn't understand her rush to get ready until there was a knock on the door.

"Are we expecting someone?"

Emily smiled excitedly, "That's probably your gift. Go open it."

I slowly opened the door to find a large teddy bear on the other side. I figured it was a delivery person holding it so I awkwardly said hello, waiting for them to move or something. The teddy bear was handed to me, though when I looked up, it ended up on the floor. Standing in front of me, was my bestfriend that I hadn't seen in person for over a year. He had moved out of the country and things were busy so visits were few and far between. I jumped into his arms, holding him tight for who knows how long. We had been friends since birth pretty much, this was the longest we had gone without seeing each other. 

I pulled away, letting him inside before hugging Emily, "You did this?"

Emily smiled, wiping away my tears, "I know you how much you were missing him."

"Thank you Em. I love you so much."

[theambitiouswoman]

SELF TALK. Replacing the NEGATIVE things we say to ourselves with POSITIVE words 🦄💜✨✨

When we say bad things about ourselves, our minds and bodies pay attention and start believing those things. It's like a cycle. When we keep telling ourselves we're not good enough or can't do things, our minds start thinking it's true. These bad thoughts can make us act in ways that match what we believe, like avoiding things because we think we'll fail. Over time, our brain gets used to these thoughts and they become a regular part of how we see ourselves.

But if we say good things to ourselves, it can be really helpful. When we're kind in how we talk to ourselves, it can make us feel better and stronger. It's like giving ourselves a little boost of confidence. When we're positive, we can handle problems better and feel less stressed. When we believe good things about ourselves, we might do better in different situations. So it's important to notice how we talk to ourselves and try to say nice things, even if we don't always feel that way.

Negative: "I always mess things up." Positive: "I sometimes make mistakes, but I also learn from them."

Negative: "I'm so stupid." Positive: "I'm smart and capable; everyone makes errors."

Negative: "I can't do this; it's too hard." Positive: "I can handle challenges with effort and perseverance."

Negative: "I'll never succeed in anything." Positive: "I have the potential to achieve my goals through hard work."

Negative: "Nobody likes me." Positive: "I have people who care about me and value my company."

Negative: "I'm a failure." Positive: "I've achieved many things and will continue to grow."

Negative: "I'm not good enough." Positive: "I am enough just as I am, and I'm constantly improving."

Negative: "I'm a burden to others." Positive: "My presence and contributions make a positive impact."

Negative: "I always mess up social situations." Positive: "I can connect with others and enjoy social interactions."

Negative: "I'll never get over this." Positive: "I can heal and move forward from difficult situations."

Negative: "I'm so ugly." Positive: "I am unique and have qualities that make me attractive."

Negative: "I'll never be as good as them." Positive: "I have my own strengths and talents that are valuable."

Negative: "I'm a loser." Positive: "I have the courage to try and the ability to succeed."

Negative: "I'm always so awkward." Positive: "I am learning and growing in social interactions."

Negative: "I can't handle criticism." Positive: "I can learn from feedback and use it to improve."

Negative: "I'm too lazy to accomplish anything." Positive: "I have the energy and determination to achieve my goals."

Negative: "I'll never be happy." Positive: "I can find joy and contentment in the little things."

Negative: "I'm a failure as a parent/friend/partner." Positive: "I care and do my best to support those around me."

Negative: "I'm too old/young to do that." Positive: "Age doesn't define my ability to pursue my passions."

Negative: "I don't deserve good things." Positive: "I am worthy of happiness, success, and positive experiences."

Negative: "I'm a failure because I haven't achieved enough." Positive: "I'm on my own path of growth and accomplishments."

Negative: "I can't handle stress." Positive: "I am resilient and can manage stress with effective strategies."

Negative: "I'll never be as talented as others." Positive: "I have unique talents that make me special."

Negative: "I'm so clumsy." Positive: "I am improving my coordination and skills."

Negative: "I'm too shy to make friends." Positive: "I have qualities that others appreciate and I can connect with people."

Negative: "I'm not good at anything." Positive: "I have strengths and abilities that I can develop."

Negative: "I'm a burden on my family." Positive: "My family supports me and we help each other."

Negative: "I'll probably fail, so why bother trying?" Positive: "I have the courage to take on challenges and learn from them."

Negative: "I can't trust anyone; people always let me down." Positive: "I can build meaningful and trustworthy relationships."

Negative: "I'll never find love." Positive: "I am deserving of love and can create meaningful connections."

Negative: "I'm not creative at all." Positive: "I can express my creativity in different ways."

Negative: "I'll never be able to speak in public." Positive: "I can develop my public speaking skills with practice."

Negative: "I don't deserve success." Positive: "I am capable of achieving success through hard work."

Negative: "I'm so disorganized." Positive: "I can improve my organization skills with time."

Negative: "I'll never be happy with my body." Positive: "I can make healthy choices and appreciate my body."

[happy-beeeps]

Naïveté

Summary: Astarion begins to reconcile with the fact he might have fallen for you, only to worry you've caught an interest in someone else. Earllllllly act 2, minor spoilers for act 2!

Pairing: Astarion x f!tav

Warnings/tags: fluff, miscommunication if you squint, jealous!astarion, platonic!wyll x tav, slightly ooc Astarion because I'm still learning to write him so be nice PLEASE😭🥺

WC: 2k

a/n: I'm finishing a character sheet for tav so we can have her backstory, but she's who I've been using this playthrough and I've been really enjoying her story. When I post on Ao3 she'll have a name, but I'm going to leave her unnamed here! Also, will have a seperate BG3 spot on my masterlist soon!

It’s late at camp, and by the time you finish indulging in a bottle of wine with Karlach, you figure you’re the only one still up. It’s been a long night, and an even longer few days, spent trudging through the grimy depths of the Shadowcursed lands and just barely making it out of the encounter with Marcus alive. Isobel had given you the ability to travel freely, but all you could do was set up camp near the inn.

The firelight is dim when you make your way back from the secluded spot near Karlach’s tent, and Astarion’s tent is sealed tightly. You contemplate going over, just peaking your head in to see if he’s deep in trance yet, but you change your mind. After your previous night’s conversation, you’re still not sure on speaking terms. It plays out over and over again in your mind. Naive, he’d called you, your heart was too big. 

You tried to be reasonable. You were naive. You were young, and perhaps no one but Wyll new exactly how young. To be ninety as an elf was to be just becoming an adult. No one else had known, no else had asked, including Astarion. You chalked it up to his truly immortal lifespan, he hadn’t cared about aging for 200 years, why start now?

Still, you couldn’t deny the pull you felt to him, or the thrill that shook your bones when he would quietly rush into your tent each morning, murmuring the incantation for lesser restoration. You still thought of the way he looked at Gale when he asked to consume that locket all those days back. “I’m glad you let him suffer for a moment, darling,” he’d murmured into your ear that night, his breath tingly on your neck, “That one’s ours.”

There’d been other nights since your first night together, while you hadn’t slept together in completion since, all passion and teeth and sweat. Sometimes you’d just kiss him, wrapped up in nothing else but this bliss of arms and scent. Lately though, he’d been closed off—distant. His conversation the previous night had come out of nowhere, as if you were standing on the doorstep of Moonrise Towers that very instant. 

You were so lost in your own thoughts, consumed of Astarion, that you nearly missed Wyll’s form standing near the dimming fire, moving around in a dance you actually recognized.

“I hope I’m not interrupting practice,” you smiled, giving the man ample warning before you stumbled into his rehearsal. 

Wyll wheeled on you, a faint blush growing across his cheeks. “It’s one of those old courting dances, it’d be a cold day in the hells before I’d ever forget them.”

“Oh I’m quite familiar,” you murmured, thinking back to your own youth, your own debutante ball, before you lost everything. “Everyone else around here forgets I come from taste.”

Wyll snorts, “Sure don’t smell like it.”

Your friendship with Wyll is a special thing. No one else can understand what it felt like to be from a Noble family, the expectations and the experience it comes with. When your family had been killed and their wealth assumed, you were completely on your own. Learning how to pickpockets and lie had not been a part of your expensive and tasteful education.

Dancing, however, came second nature.

You move to stand in front of him without really thinking, decades of experience guiding your motions. “Go on, let’s see what you can do.”

He’s a fine partner, moving cautiously around you and guiding your hand easily. Even when he brings you closer for a slightly more intimate dance, his hands nor his eyes never stray. 

“I wonder what I’d have done if I ever saw you at one of the balls my father sent me too.” He murmurs.

“I’m certain you did. Though you would’ve been young. I haven’t been in nearly a decade.”

He chuckles, and clucks his tongue for a moment, “Just practically a baby, far to young to approach Fey nobility.” Before bowing in front of you and wishing you goodnight. There’s the smallest beat where he looks at you as if he has something to say. You look at him for the smallest moment. It would be so easy to love him, if you were anyone else. He’s exactly who your father would have picked for you, save his humanity. But, despite it, you can’t. You can’t fake the flutter you get when you Astarion’s cold hands tickle your fingers, or the tickle of his hair on your cheek when he’s pressed against your neck. You’re not naive enough to admit this to Astarion, but from the fleeting glance you send to his tent, you can see that Wyll already knows. He leaves you with a knowing glance and a soft goodnight. You go back to your own tent, happy to have removed the thought of the curse, of Ketheric, and even of your own problems for just a moment.

So full of contentedness in fact, you don’t notice the scarlet eyes peering at you from the slat of their tent, a whirlwind of emotions cascading over them.

* * *

Astarion doesn’t hide his mild disdain for Wyll, or anyone to be fair, to begin with, but the following morning he bears down on the man like an ogre. “I didn’t anticipate you being quite so light on your feet. The Blade stands at the ready, and also ready to pirouette, I suppose?”

Wyll rolls his eyes at Astarion’s quip, used to the sarcasm, but somewhat surprised at the intensity of the rogue’s grip on his arm. “Wasn’t aware I couldn’t have past times.”

“By all means feel free to entertain us with a ballet in between slaughters,” his voice hushes as you walk by, looking at the two men skeptically, “I’d just prefer if your duets didn’t happen whilst I’m trying to read.”

Wyll follows Astarion’s slightly fleeting to his retreating gaze. You’re standing behind him, out of earshot, leaning against Lae’zel’s tent while she sharpens your sword. Astarion’s stare is enough to allow him to piece everything together. “Can I give you a word of advice?”

“Only if you accept that I may ignore it entirely.”

“She’s wonderful. And she’s made her choice without giving anyone else a chance. If I were you, I wouldn’t waste it, wouldn’t kill you to get to know her.”

Wyll walks away, and Astarion is left alone again with his thoughts. Contrary to Wyll’s belief, he thinks it might actually kill him to get to know you. He’s been balancing precariously on his fight to not let himself be fully consumed by you and your grace, your goodness. You were a spoilt little thing, he was sure of that, and he had meant what he said that night by the water. It didn’t mean it hurt his chest more when your face fell. “Naive?” there was a crack in your cool, crafted facade. Genuine hurt had settled there for a moment, and something akin to disappointment. He hadn’t known how to face you since, hadn’t known how to say “I’m sorry! I’m falling for you and can’t help it and I’m terrified!”

So instead he said nothing at all, and resolved to say something later.

* * *

You had just gotten back to camp for the night, Karlach nearly giggling at the amount of gold she had stuffed in her pockets from the tollhouse. You had noticed Astarion’s eyes on you, heavy and pensive, when you had dealt with the Master of Coin, how easily you’d convinced her to simply cease to be. That was perhaps the easiest transition from nobility to rogue you had, the gift of a silver tongue and wide, batting eyes.

You changed into your camp clothes and watched Karlach throw gold pieces at an increasingly irritated Lae’zel, Gale standing nearby doing his best to keep spirits high in this eerie camp, working with whatever cured meats and cheeses you still had to attempt to make a dinner. You had changed into camp clothes and grabbed one of the books you had found in the tollmaster’s office, a shockingly smutty romance novel that had to be even older than you. It was quiet in the corner you found, somewhere even Halsin’s booming laugh had faded into quiet background noise. You tried to not think about your surroundings, about your increasing frustration with Astarion, or the odd way his gaze had hung on you all day. 

“I’m always impressed by that tongue of yours, petal.” The vampire’s voice pulled you from your thoughts, and he settled beside you on the ground, arms behind him as he reclined easily next to you.

You rolled your eyes at the innuendo, and the pet name. “Yet you’ve been leaving me and my tongue to our thoughts the past few days.” You huffed, flipping the book to the next page, though not really reading any of it 

If Astarion could blush, he looked as if he would. “We’ve been a bit busy darling. I’ve been…strategizing.”

“Strategizing?”

“Precisely.”

The quiet overtook the two of you. After being so distant, if he didn’t want to come to you, then so be it. You could not—would not–crack first. He could not even begin to know the bubbling furnace of your feelings, or you’d be positively done for.

“How old are you?”

His question strikes you, strikes you enough that you set the book off to the side and face him. “At what point did you start to ask me questions?”

“When I realized I had done something to anger my favorite companion,” his fingers reach out and trace small patterns on your skin. “How old are you?”

“Ninety.” Your voice moves to a whisper at the end of the word, and his eyebrows quirk.

“Only ninety and yet alone. And Balduran?”

“Yes, but I haven’t lived there since I was seventy five.”

“Something happened,” he rocks upward, now sitting nearer to you. “You weren’t supposed to be like this.”

“Perhaps that’s why I’m so naive.” It comes out more bitter than you meant, but oh well. He deserved it.

“Naive wasn’t the right word,” he looks like he’s fighting himself to turn out the next sentence. “I didn’t mean to offend.”

You smile softly, laying a hand on top of his. “I don’t know if I believe that, but I appreciate the apology.”

He grins, his deep set smile lines settling in your favorite way. “Tell me about your childhood.”

You shrug, “There’s not much to say. I was an only child, an only daughter. I used to play the lyre, learn languages, paint–”

“You come from nobility.”

“I sort of thought it was obvious,” you shrug and tap your knee against his, “I wasn’t supposed to be out in the middle of a campground, much less learning the ways of a rogue.”

“What were you supposed to be?”

“A wife, I guess.”

“And while I’m sure suitors everywhere are devastated, I much prefer my rogue.”

My. You don’t say anything and neither does he. You let the word hang there, testing to see if he reaches back to grab it, but he doesn’t. It gets quiet for a moment after that, and you can see him spinning the illusion in his head. You, swathed in organza, spinning around a marble ballroom, entertaining suitors. 

“Is that why you danced with Wyll?”

“Ah,” you smile and rest your head on his shoulder. You love these fleeting moments of intimacy, where you can both pretend to be nothing more than lovers on an adventure. “So this was spurred by jealousy?”

“As if I have anything to be jealous over Wyll. He wishes he looked half as good as me.” His words lack their normal bite, and he turns his head softly, so he’s speaking quietly, just to you. “But perhaps in the future you’d let me take you for a spin.”

You press your hand against his on the ground. “You need only ask.”

“I’ll… keep that in mind.”

There’s so much more you both want to say, confessions on the precipice of both your minds, but you say nothing. You idle together a touch longer, hands resting against each other, pretending neither of you can get hurt, envisioning a world where it’s him spinning you across the dance floor in a world where you could have each other.