#Condiment Goals

[ultimate-healing-blog]

Chef Bob's Healthy Avocado Mayonnaise

Chef Bob's Healthy Avocado Mayonnaise - #AvocadoMayonnaise #HealthyEating #CleanEating #AvocadoLovers #DairyFree #VeganRecipes #GuiltFree #HealthyRecipes #Foodie #Homemade #CulinaryDelight #KitchenStaple #HealthySubstitutes #CondimentGoals #TasteTheDiffer

Chef Bob’s Healthy Avocado Mayonnaise When it comes to healthy cooking, finding substitutes for traditional ingredients that don’t compromise on taste can be a game-changer. That’s where Chef Bob’s Healthy Avocado Mayonnaise comes into play! This creamy, delicious alternative to conventional mayonnaise is not only packed with wholesome ingredients but also brings a delightful twist to your…

[fleetwood-rendezvous]

Just Some Condiments.

[fuckingrecipes]

Do you have advice on the art of sandwiches? I feel like i my best sandwich at home is still leagues below the worst sandwich ive bought at a restaurant

Since sandwiches are infinitely variable, I'm going to assume you're trying to make my favorite sandwich: the Turkey Club, sandwich style not sub style.

Your goal is to MAXIMIZE FLAVOR.

Thicker bread. Standard slice size for bread isn't going to cut it, here. You want thick-slice bread.

Sourdough, or French Bread not 'White' bread. You want it chewy, with a thicker crust. Hearty.

Extra-Heavy Mayo. Restaurants do not use standard mayo from the grocery. Extra-heavy mayo has a higher ratio of egg yolks, giving it a richer flavor and thicker consistency for both spreading and using in tuna or egg salad. It's also more of a warm ivory color, rather than 'white.'

Instead of yellow deli mustard, try a ground-whole-seed mustard. It has a spicier, richer profile, and a little more vinegar.

Be generous with condiments. You're making a good sandwich, not cutting calories.

SEASON your sandwich. Dust the vegetables - salt and pepper goes a long way! Dried oregano, onion powder, garlic powder are also champs. My fave is to take a spicy blend (like a fajita seasoning blend) and sprinkle generously over the mayo before adding other stuff.

Lettuce CRUNCH is important. Include the pale crispy parts in your sandwich, not just the soft green leaf parts. Use romaine and arugula, not 'iceburg' lettuce, which has next to zero flavor.

If you're using texture leafy greens like arugula, toss it in a vinaigrette before piling it onto the sandwich. The vinegar zing makes a statement.

The tomato should have a strong flavor of its own. Salt & pepper on ripe tomato is heavenly. Make sure your seasoning hits the tomato.

If you're adding onion, make sure the slices are super duper thin-sliced. Like, mandolin-thin. Translucent-thin. Red onion is king.

If you want it toasted, make sure the cheese and meat gets hot, but the greens/tomato/onion is added afterward so it stays cold and crisp.

Don't be afraid to STACK IT TALL. CRAM IT FULL! How many sandwiches from restaurants feel impossible to fit in your mouth at first glance? Most of 'em. Make it big. With the meat, especially, they often CRAM the meat in there. No single-layer of ham slices here.

It's ok to MIX MEATS. Fry up some bacon (extra crispy!) or crisp up some pepperoni and layer it with your turkey.

Once you're done, wrap your sandwich in parchment paper (not WAX paper, there's a difference), then slice in half. By wrapping it, you force all the ingredients to smush together and start blending flavors. This makes 'em all a little better and stops them from sliding around, so it's easy to get a bite with every ingredient at once, and stops the sandwich from actually falling apart.

--

Honestly, the biggest 'secrets' of sandwich making is:

MAXIMIZE FLAVOR. USE RICHLY FLAVORED INGREDIENTS.

SEASON ALL YOUR SHIT FOR MORE FLAVOR

DON'T BE AFRAID TO PILE ON MORE GOOD SHIT.

[starmocha]

Carrot Cake [Zayne + Son ★ 1257 words ★ Masterlist ★ Snowdrop Masterlist ★ Series Index ★ AO3] Zayne and his son are identical in appearance, personality, and mannerism, but there is one thing that baffles Zayne about his son. A/N: Needed a smile today, so I finished a wip that’s been sitting around. ❤️ Another part of my LNDS Men + Their Child series, but circling back to Zayne again. 🥹

“Well, doctor, did we forget anything else?”

Zayne looked down at the little three-year-old boy sitting in the shopping cart. The toddler’s appearance was practically identical to his father minus the hair color. The boy grinned at his father.

“Cake!”

Zayne laughed. The little boy was definitely a mini-him.

“You’re right,” Zayne said thoughtfully, “We shouldn’t forget the cake.”

The boy’s smile slowly disappeared, almost as if he remembered something very important. He furrowed his brows in contemplation, speaking softly, “But Mommy said no cakes…”

Zayne leaned down, his face in front of his son, his smile gentle with a touch of mischievousness.

“Mommy is not here. Daddy is in charge,” Zayne said, his smile widening when his son grinned again. “Now what kind of cake should we get?”

“Carrot cake!”

“Denied.”

He pinched his son’s cheek when the little boy pouted. He sighed with mock-exasperation. “I swear you and your mother are always messing with me.”

“But Daddy…carrot cakes are yummy…”

Zayne raised a brow, feeling doubtful. “Who in their right mind would think to use such an ingredient in a dessert…”

“Mommy likes carrot cakes!” the boy said suddenly, hoping this little tidbit of information could persuade his father to change his mind.

“Does she now?” Zayne smiled in amusement, seeing the boy’s earnest look. He casually resumed pushing the shopping cart through the aisle, absently looking at items after items on the shelves with faux interest.

“Yes!”

“She…or you, doctor?” Zayne paused in front of the condiment aisle and grabbed a bottle of soy sauce. As he turned to put the item into the cart, he met his son’s shy smile.

The boy looked bashful, almost embarrassed, as he answered quietly, “…both?”

Zayne laughed. “Maybe there is some truth in that conclusion,” he murmured, his next comment spoken lower and more to himself, “Your mother did eat a lot of carrots while pregnant with you…”

He continued to push the cart through the grocery store. “I don’t know, doctor, you haven’t been able to convince me why we should buy something so terrible.”

The boy frowned, his face scrunching up thoughtfully as he tried to think of a new convincing argument. He looked absolutely determined in his goal to persuade his father to change his mind about carrot cakes.

Zayne chuckled and continued to move through the aisles casually, taking his leisure time. He absently hummed along to the music playing overhead, occasionally sneaking glances at the quiet toddler. He could see his son was still thinking deeply, his only objective was his pursuit of the elusive carrot cake his father was denying him.

“Ah,” Zayne said suddenly, “Tofu is on sale. We can make mapo tofu tomorrow night for dinner.”

Zayne peeked at his son, still not hearing a response. He picked up two containers of silken tofu and placed them into the cart. He pinched his son’s cheek again. “Are you upset with Daddy now?”

The boy pouted. “…No…”

“That did not sound convincing.” Zayne leaned his face down closer again. “We can get a chocolate cake, a castella cake, strawberry, tiramisu…”

“…Carrot cake…”

Zayne playfully pretended he didn’t hear, and pushed the shopping cart through to the bakery department.

“We should get some sandwich bread for breakfast tomorrow,” Zayne said thoughtfully aloud as he examined the array of choices. “We still have that jar of raspberry jam you like…”

Zayne’s words fell on deaf ears. The little boy gasped, his green-yellow eyes catching sight of the cake display. He immediately zeroed in on the two-tiered carrot cakes. He reached out for his father, tapping Zayne’s hand impatiently.

“Daddy, Daddy, the cake, the cake!”

“Hmm?” Zayne continued to feign ignorance. “Oh, right, Mommy did ask us to pick up some steaks.”

He pushed the cart away, heading to the meat department. The little boy’s mouth hung wide open in shock as they walked further and further away from the bakery department. He looked up at his father, lips quivering, but Zayne continued to keep his sight ahead. The toddler slowly lowered his head, disappointed.

“Daddy…”

“Hmm?”

Zayne looked down, seeing his son was sulking. He smiled softly. “Do you want Daddy to hold you?”

The boy nodded and raised his arms up eagerly. Zayne chuckled. “Alright, alright, I will,” he said as he reached down to unbuckle the seatbelt. He lifted the boy out of his seat, and smiled as his son clung to him. He rubbed the toddler’s head gently. “Let’s hurry and finish shopping. Mommy’s waiting for these ingredients to make dinner.”

Zayne resumed shopping, one arm was carrying his son while his free hand pushed the cart and grabbed items from the shelves. When he was close to being done, he noticed his son had fallen asleep with his head resting on Zayne’s shoulder and his small fingers unconsciously rubbing at the material of his father’s coat. Smiling, Zayne, walked back over to the bakery department. He quietly motioned to the employee, pointing at the cake in the display.

He smiled gratefully as the employee handed him a small cakebox. He quickly finished shopping, paid for everything, and put them away in his car trunk.

Once he had returned the shopping cart to the store, he returned to his car, opening the back door and gently set his sleeping son in his car seat. As he buckled the toddler into his seat, Zayne quietly tapped his son’s shoulder.

“Wake up, sleepy head,” Zayne said softly, smiling at the little boy’s bleary eyes.

“Home?”

Zayne chuckled and shook his head. “Not yet,” he answered. He settled into the backseat and sat next to the child. The boy looked up confused.

“We can’t let Mommy know, alright?” Zayne said, pulling out a small cake box from a paper bag, his smile widening at his son’s bright eyes. “Our little secret, got it?”

The boy nodded eagerly. He gasped quietly when his father revealed the inside of the cake box. “Carrot cake!”

Zayne sighed in baffled amusement. “You look completely like me, but this…quirk…of yours…” He reached in and pulled out a small carrot cupcake, handing it to his son. He grabbed the other cupcake—a chai latte—and held the confection next to his son’s. They tapped the cupcakes together.

“Cheers!” both father and son said simultaneously.

The boy giggled and happily bit into his soft, sweet cupcake. Zayne smiled fondly, pleased to see his son’s smile again.

“You know, eating too many carrots will turn you orange,” Zayne warned teasingly.

“Like Windy Carrot?” the boy asked curiously, eyes growing wide.

“Almost,” Zayne said, laughing.

“Daddy?”

“Hmm?”

“…Will you still love me if I turn into a carrot?”

Zayne laughed again. He leaned down, nuzzling his face against his son’s before kissing his cheek. “I will never stop loving you…even if you were a carrot.”

The boy giggled again and turned to kiss his father’s cheek in return.

“I am certain you will be the only carrot I love,” Zayne added as he wiped the cream cheese frosting off his son’s mouth with his thumb. “Can’t leave behind any evidence, remember?”

The boy took the last bite of his cupcake, showing his hands to his father with a wide smile. “All gone! No evidence!”

Zayne finished his own cupcake, laughing. “All gone,” he repeated, “Our little secret from Mommy.”

The boy motioned with his finger over his mouth, shushing quietly. “Secret!”

“Good boy,” Zayne said, kissing the top of his son’s head. “Now let’s get home and help Mommy with dinner.”

[ckret2]

My headcanon is that Tad Strange is locally known as the least strange person in Gravity Falls because he's autistic as hell and being normal is his special interest. Not in a "feels like he has to mask perfectly" way, it's just his passion and everyone admires and respects his commitment to the bit.

When he was in high school he'd go up to his friends and go "Hello. If you aren't busy, would you mind practicing friendly small talk with me?" and now everyone's like "That Tad Strange can strike up an amiable conversation about the weather in the grocery store checkout line like he was born to do it."

He feels genuine delight at his closet full of short-sleeve button-up white shirts for the summer and long-sleeve button-up white shirts for the winter.

If he's trying out a new kind of food he asks his coworkers and neighbors "What's the most popular brand?" and they all understand he's deliberately looking for the most normal option and are happy to support his goal.

He hosts bread tasting parties. Condiments discouraged until you've tasted the unadorned bread first. Bread's a very normal food. He gets very excited about the different varieties.

He's just enchanted by the aesthetic of being hella typical. He's living his best life.

[noekawa]

MRS. BAKUGO !

meal; pole winner oneshot

condiments; sweetest fluff, wedding day, Katsuki Bakugo/reader, class 1A pulls up, sorry took forever to post this..

Bakugo Katsuki steadily reached his goals, he was close to becoming the number one hero, was rich and famous, and best of all..

He’s currently wearing a tidy suit, standing at the altar as he waits for the love of his life to walk down the aisle to join him.

The audience was filled with his ex-classmates, mentors, teachers, colleagues and of course his and his soon to be wife’s family.

Contrary to what many believe, Katsuki was actually deathly nervous. His mother and Izuku could tell by how he was subconsciously letting out sparks from his dominant hand as he waited anxiously.

“Bakugo getting married before me.. I can’t believe it!” Kaminari playfully sniffed as he wiped his faux tears away.

Kirishima grinned and gave a pat on his back “Jiro’s been waiting for you to propose so take this as a little inspiration man!”

Midoriya smiled as he looked at Katsuki with a soft gaze “Kacchan, thank you for letting me be your best man.”

“Shut it, don’t get sappy on me right now!” Katsuki gritted out, his brows furrowed slightly. H was getting annoyed that it was taking his bride forever to arrive. The thought of her ditching him on this special day crossed his mind, but he pushed it away.

There was no way she’d do that. He thought, and sure enough he was right since soon after the pianist— Kyoka, began playing. Momo soon after chimed in with the violin.

The door opens and Toru and Ochaco walked out with their flower baskets, throwing petals everywhere— but Katsuki didn’t pay attention to that.

An audible sound left his lips as his eyes fell onto your frame, the dress hugging your body made you look angelic whilst walking down the aisle. His eyes started watering out and he felt his heart race.

Behind you was Mina, grinning as she held the tail of your dress up.

Today was a special day for you and Katsuki, sharing it with your close ones.

“Holy shit.” Was all he could let out as his arms dropped to the side, All Might— the pastor just laughed “Look alive now Young Bakugo!”

Shoto nonchalantly wiped Katsuki’s tears away with a handkerchief, earning a soft glare from the groom as he pushed the duo haired male’s hand away with a click of his tongue.

Once you were standing at the altar your eyes shifted up to meet his vermillion ones.

“You’re the most gorgeous woman alive.” Your soon to be husband breathed out, making you giggle.

“You’re as handsome as the day I met you, Katsuki.”

All Might cleared his throat and began the vows, after a bit it all was left is to say those two simple words.

“I do.” You chirped with a smile.

“You may now kiss the bride!”

Katsuki didn’t waste a second, he pulled you close by the waist and tenderly kissed you on the lips.

You closed your eyes and leaned into it with a smile.

Your friends were cheering and crying from joy as you two were officially husband and wife. They clapped, joyous about this new union since it was obvious to them that Katsuki and you were the perfect pair.

“This.. Is great.. Life is great Shota!” Present Mic sobs out as he blows his nose into the napkin while Eraserhead just grimaced “Watching these two finally tie the knot after all these years is kinda surreal.”

“That brat,” Mitsuki wipes her tears away as she grinned “I can finally expect grandkids!!” Inko and Masaru who were beside her couldn’t help but sweat drop.

Bakugo Katsuki now officially has a mrs. Bakugo.

[gremlingottoosilly]

What if König finding out Mrs.König is a writer? But like, a smut one? Don't know if you did this already, but i think he would be very curious about what she'd write, and he would even read some of them, to understand what is going on her little head, maybe?😊

He is very invested in your hobbies, as long as they won't include going outside and interacting with tons of people without his immediate presence. If you are more of a homebody, writing in the comfort of your home, he will make your coffee(we love our caring king, it's one of the only things he can make without clowning you for taking too much sugar or other condiments or needing a cute little cup) and sit with you while you do your research or write. If you're actually publishing your books and have quite some money from it, he would be a bit more concerned - not because he is jealous or insecure about his woman getting her own money(partially yes, but still), but because he is worried you might overwork yourself. When he actually reads the stuff you write...yeah, our boy is jealous. If you write stories about military men, soldiers, generals, and all of this stuff, he will make it his lifetime goal to nitpick at every little mistake you have in the books, making you learn all the right names for different branches of the military, fix every problem you have with different ranks, making sure you know everything before writing it!! If you don't write about handsome military man and their wives...he will make you, lmao. This guy is a secret nerd who is well-versed in fantasy and science fiction, he loves the classics and cheap smut books about great space warriors and their alien girlfriends. He will be very picky about every inch of unrealism in your books, slowly suggesting that you would just try for yourself if the sex positions you write are actually possible in real life...

[herarcadewasteland]

Trouble

A/N: This the small piece for the Wooyoung Bullet Point thing i made a little while back! I finally got it done and now you get it~

~~~~~~~~~~~

Pairing: Wooyoung x Reader ft. San

Warnings: meandom!wooyoung, slapping (thigh and face), degradation, unprotected sex (wrap it up), creampie technically, protected sex (good job), big dick!woosan, restraints, slightly sub!sannie, exhibitionism.

The goal, for once, was not to piss off Wooyoung. Quite the opposite. All you wanted was a little bit of attention from him instead of having it all focused on the damn soccer game that Jongho had put on. It had started off slow that he had no idea it was even happening. Seeing you a little more slung over San than usual, your close relationship was nothing new to him because he was around the man so much himself. A few deliberate hand placements on the muscles of his arm when he made a dumb joke. It was harmless. At least to you. 

As soon as Wooyoung picked up on it, he was on his own plan. You wanted to be a brat and pretend to be more interested in his best friend than him? Your boyfriend? He could play at that game too. He ignored your attempts for his attention, your attitude growing bolder as you noticed Wooyoung not even sparing you a glance, a haughty smirk on his lips as he laughed with Jongho and Yeosang. Your actions towards San got more blatant, a blush covering the boys cheeks as you leaned against him, pressing your tits into his arm. Laughing louder at his jokes, swiping a drop of mayo from his lips when it spills out of the slider. Wooyoung was glancing your way more now, your eyes meeting a few times as his progressively held more danger. 

You knew you were in for it now but you were so far into your plan, you couldn't just back out of it and admit defeat. So you went in harder. Bumping your arm a little too hard into San to spill your drink all over his white shirt, your eyes going wide as you gasped and grabbed for napkins to dab at his shirt while you ran your hands across his broad chest. San muttered something under his breath and shook you off with a sheepish smile, telling you he could borrow a shirt from one of the boys as he scurried away. 

You huffed lightly, calling out another apology and turning to look at your boyfriend. His eyebrow was raised, hands folded neatly on his knee as he watched you. The look in his eye was past danger now. You were royally fucked. That didn’t stop you from continuing your antics the next week when you and your boyfriend invited San out to the mall for a day of shopping.

It had started slowly as it had the previous week. Small brushes of your hand against San’s ass, brushing your tits against him blatantly when Wooyoung was looking into a window display. Little did you know, Wooyoung knew what you were doing. He saw you in that same window display reflection brushing against his best friend. He saw it all and took note of it all, a smirk resting on his pretty lips while you flirted with San to get under his skin. 

He couldn’t say it wasn’t working, but it wasn’t working as well as you had hoped. You picked up on that fact slowly, building your tactics to make San flustered and your boyfriend mad. Your opportunity came in two forms. One of ketchup clinging desperately to San’s lower lip. You peeked a glance at Wooyoung, seeing him focused on his own hamburger, you took the chance.

“Ahh Sannie you made a mess!”, you cooed, seeing Wooyoung snap his head to you just as you reached across the table to swipe the offending condiment from his plush lip. 

Sitting back casually, you made eye contact with Wooyoung, his eyes holding a promise. You giggled at him and watched his eyes narrow, your finger quickly raising to your lips to suck the ketchup off of it. A throat clearing interrupted you, your eyes trailing over to the man across from you. Scanning the blush on Sans cheeks, you smiled happily, Wooyoung's hand finding a place on your thigh to squeeze it harshly. Your smile dropped enough for it to be casual, the hand on your thigh relaxing but staying in place as conversation picked up about one store or another. 

Your next opportunity came when you saw someone with the coolest jacket you had ever seen, your eyes lingering on them as they walked long enough for Wooyoung to take notice and follow your line of sight. He scoffed silently, tugging at your jacket to point at a window display with the shiniest dresses you had seen to date. With your attention successfully diverted, Wooyoungs’ hand on your lower back leads you into a separate store. Your thoughts were running wild with how to rile up your boyfriend even further when you realized, scanning through cute cardigans, that your tactics weren’t working properly. You would have to think harder.

You came up blank, your day at the mall going by peacefully until you tripped over your own feet while you were distracted by a window display. Your little trip up sent you face first into Sans solid chest, Wooyoung staring you down darkly as your hands pressed to Sans biceps to push yourself away. 

“I am so sorry Sannie! I don’t know how that happened!”, you sounded panicked, Wooyoungs’ eyes narrowing further.

San waved off your concerns easily, his hands patting your shoulders to console you as Wooyoung stared quietly. You turned to him shortly after, shaking your head, eyes holding a promise it wasn’t purposeful. Wooyoung wasn’t having it, his hand wrapping around yours as he pulls you closer to him.

“Let’s head home. We don’t need to be tripping over anything else.”, he chuckled, patting your head with his free hand.

You and San agreed, weaving through the people to get back out into the parking lot. Finding the car was slightly difficult, the distant beeping of the lock guiding the three of you in different directions until you found it, shouting for the boys as they found each other on the other side of the lot. You laughed at them while they jogged to the car, your face red as they huffed at you. Piling into the car, you started the drive back to the apartment, music blasting through the speakers as you all sang along, San’s dance movements small and precise in the small space. It sent you into a whole new round of laughter when he tried to do a kick jump in his seat. His head smacking the roof of the car with a thunk followed by the combined laughter of Wooyoung and yourself. The pout that graced Sans' pretty lips made you both coo, a blush coating his cheeks as he crossed his arms and stared out the window. 

The drive finished smoothly with some more karaoke after San was done his playful sulking, Wooyoung’s pokes to his side drawing him from it with giggles. Any giggles left you when you met your boyfriends eyes through the rear view mirror, the danger hiding in them setting your body on edge as you huffed a half laugh at something that San said, climbing out of the car with the two bags Wooyoung let you carry. You unlocked the front door quickly, Wooyoung urging you to go faster. Laughing, you opened the door and stepped aside, ushering the boys in. You closed the door behind you once they made it in in one piece. 

“Bags in the kitchen!”, you called after them, their footsteps fading slightly as they made their way to the kitchen.

Following them into the room, you landed a smack on Wooyoung’s ass as he bent over to look for a drink for San. His startled shout made you laugh with San, high-fiving him as you passed him to open a cupboard for a bag of chips to share. San stood awkwardly as you both moved around him, Wooyoung handing you a bowl for the chips after he pulled out the last case of beer he kept for when San was over at your place. 

“What did we decide on again?”, you turned to the boys once you were done emptying the bag into the bowl.

“Uhhh-“, San turned to Wooyoung who was opening three beers.

“Uh…”, he paused, tilting his head as he looked back at you and San, “I think it was The Avengers?”

You and San mirrored an “Ohhhh!” as you remembered the movie choice. Migrating to the living room, you observed the spots left on the couch until Wooyoung was tugging you down onto his lap. You scoffed lightly at his possessive action, San eyeing up the two of you slightly before he shrugged and focused on the screen. The movie went by without fault, snacks being passed around, cuddling into Wooyoung as he rested his chin on your shoulder… it was going so well… until you declared a bathroom break was needed and stood up from Wooyoung’s lap. You stretched with your arms above your head, a large yawn escaping you before you could stop, the boys focused on the exposed skin of your stomach.

One set of eyes leaving to watch the other’s unmoving gaze until he stood, Wooyoung placing a kiss on your head as he ushered you to the kitchen. San followed along blindly, clutching the empty bowl in his hands to drop it in the sink. Silence took over the room until you cleared your throat to interrupt your boyfriends one-sided staring contest with his best friend, slipping past them both when you were suddenly falling into San’s chest for the second time that day, your eyes widening as you pushed away from him quickly, his concern going unnoticed as you faced your boyfriend.

The smirk on his slightly chapped lips and the tsk that left them told you all you needed to know. You shook your head at him slightly and finished your journey to the washroom, doing your business quickly before nearly sprinting out of the door into a solid object. Staring up at Wooyoung, you shook your head again, hands on his chest as he watched you.

“I can’t believe you pushed me into him! It was an accident earlier! I promise-”

“Don’t think I don’t know your little games, pretty girl. I know exactly what you’re trying to get from me.”, he paused to whisper in your ear, sending chills down your spine, “All you had to do was ask.”

You don’t even get the chance to respond before he’s grasping your wrist and dragging you to your shared bedroom, a shout to San to come up in a few minutes following your stumbling steps. An affirmative, though hesitant, response from the boy hit your ears just as Wooyoung shoved you through the door. 

“Wooyo-”

“Wrong.”

“Woo-”

“Try again.”

“Wooyoung I swear to god-”

“Not bad but that was your last chance.”, his hands pushed between your shoulders til you tumbled onto the bed, his hands around your hips flipping you onto your back, “Address me properly or so help me…”

He leaned over you, eyes dark and piercing your soul as you whimpered under his gaze, “You’ll regret ever calling me anything other than Sir.”

You nodded quickly, small apologies tumbling from your lips as he disappeared into the closet, coming out with a locked box that was no longer locked. You realized at this moment you shouldn’t have even tried pleading your case. He wasn’t going to believe you anyways, and trying to bargain worsened your punishment. Seconds later, your hands cuffed to the headboard, Wooyoung back in the closet, San walked through the door. 

“What did you-”, he paused in the doorway, his eyes scanning your prone form and then the room for your boyfriend. 

Not finding him, the man looks at you in confusion, “Y/N? What-?”

You shushed him and beckoned him forwards, eyes desperate until Wooyoung appeared again with a happy look at seeing San. 

“Oh good! You made it just in time!”, the sound of fabric tearing made you wince as San gasped, turning away from your suddenly naked body, “Now now, Sannie. You were just looking at her skin so intently!”

He took measured steps to his best friend, grasping his chin and turning him in your direction as you squirmed against the sheets, “Now take. a. good. look.”

You whimpered at the heat of their gazes on your exposed skin, eyes begging with San until a stern look from Wooyoung had you intently focused on the blankets beneath you. 

“No, no. None of that. You don’t get to look at him. You did that enough today don’t you think? All over him just for my attention.”, he left San’s side to reach into his pocket, pulling out a handful of condoms that sealed your fate for the night, “That didn’t work like you wanted though, huh? Poor dumb little slut doesn’t get what she wants. How disappointing…”

He took a moment to set the condoms beside you mockingly, unbuckling his belt with precise motions that built tension in your core as you watched him, “For you.”

Everything happened in a blur after that. Wooyoungs’ belt being tied around your head, San being positioned in the desk chair at the end of the bed, Wooyoung stripping completely with a smirk on his face as he watches San squirm with his legs crossed. You whimpered around the belt as Wooyoung hovered above you, running his cock along your folds until you moaned with each brush of the head against your sensitive clit. You soon forgot about San with the pleasure clouding your mind, Wooyoung’s breathy groans in your ear ruining any thought of brattiness you had for the moment. Your mind cleared completely as he thrusted into you with one motion, each vein on his cock leaving you whining as you felt them drag against the wet walls of your cunt. Your moans only grew in volume as Wooyoung thrusted into you faster, deeper, reaching depths of you that you felt like only he could. His moans spurred you on to meet his thrusts until his hands slammed down on your hips to keep you still with a low grunt in your ear.

“I would suggest not moving, baby.”

You whined but nodded, drool dripping from around his belt between your teeth, soaking the material and leaving a trail on your skin that Wooyoung gathered with his fingers to bring down to your clit, rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves in fast circles. Your pussy clenching around him sending him to new heights with his best friend watching. You whined even louder, moans cutting off your breaths until you pleaded with Wooyoung through the belt, his raised eyebrow shooting a spark of arousal straight to your clit. The moan you let slip at that point was pornographic, San’s small grunts just reaching your ears as you tugged on the restraints keeping you from touching your boyfriend in the way you wanted. 

“What’s that, pet? You wanna say something?”

You nodded quickly, moving your hips slightly to get him to move faster as he tugged the belt from between your lips.

“Please!”, you panted for breath now that you could take proper ones, “Sannie! Untie-”

The sound registered before the feeling, the stinging of your cheek coinciding with the sound that echoed through the room. 

“What did you just say?”, Wooyoung stopped his thrusts abruptly, “Did my cocksleeve just call out for another man as I was fucking it? Nooo no, I must be mistaken.”

You inhaled sharply as you realized what you said, your lips parting as you started to stutter over your apology. Another slap cut you off, your head facing the wall with the force of it as you clenched around him. 

“I would suggest you repeat yourself right now, love. I don’t want to have to ask twice.”

“I-...I’m-... Sannie-”, you cut yourself off when Wooyoung raised his eyebrow, “I mean… I wasn’t-”

“Spit. It. Out.”, he accentuated each word with a thrust that had you grasping at the restraints around your wrists.

“Sannie! Untie me!”, you gasped out.

The silence in the room was suffocating as Wooyoung pulled out of you quickly, not giving you time to savor the sensations of him in your for the last moments.You whimpered at the emptiness in your core, clenching around nothing as you watched Wooyoung stand, his expression blank. 

“San. Come here.”

San moved quickly, nearly tripping over his own feet in his haste to follow his best friend's orders. 

“Do you think my little slut deserves to be untied? Just so she can touch me?”, Wooyoung ran his hand along San’s broad chest as he stuttered for an answer, “She called for you, didn’t you hear? She wants your help.”

He pushes him towards the bed, “So help her.”

You share a slightly confused glance with San, watching Wooyoung stare the two of you down until he snapped his finger, making you jump slightly.

“Move faster. She clearly wants your help, Sannie~”

San nodded slowly and reached up to undo your restraints until Wooyoung's hands covered his, “No. Not like that.”

You and San shared properly confused glances now, eyes darting between each other and your boyfriend as he laughed mockingly, “Two dumb little pets. How fun!”

Wooyoung nearly dragged San onto the bed, ripping his clothes as he had yours, making you both gasp as he pushed him down onto you. The only indication of something happening was the slight brush of Wooyoung’s hand across your clit after the crinkling of the condom wrapper ceased. You and San whined in unison as suddenly he was pushing into you, your boyfriend's pretty hand on his hip telling you San wasn’t even in control of the situation. 

“You do know how to fuck, right?”, Wooyoung laughed as San frowned at the jab, his hips suddenly moving into yours much faster and with much more force behind them, “There we go. I knew you could fuck her right~”

You moaned at each thrust, hands grasping at air as Wooyoung laughed at you, landing a slap on your thigh as San fucked you with everything in him. His cock stretched you more than Wooyoungs’ did but you didn’t dare say anything to compliment the man in that moment, instead moaning loudly as you held eye contact with your lover. The smirk on his face and the hand stroking over his cock as he watched you be pounded into the mattress made you whimper, eyes rolling back as you felt San twitch inside you just enough to brush over that special spot. 

“Aweeee.”, Wooyoung cooed at your reaction, “Keep doing that Sannie. She loves it, look at her! Can barely even keep her whore mouth shut.”

“Maybe you should fill it then.”, San spoke up for the first time, shocking both of you until you nodded happily and opened your mouth for Wooyoung to slide into, moans escaping you still. 

“Good boy, Sannie. I knew you would have some great ideas somewhere in there!”, Wooyoung crawled up to kneel by your open mouth, giving you a small moment to savor his taste until he was thrusting into your mouth like he was fucking your pussy. 

San moaned out a small thank you that made Wooyoung laugh until he saw your expression change, San’s moans turning to a higher pitch as you tightened around him with your impending orgasm. 

“Is the poor baby gonna cum around my friends cock? Hm?”, he pulled out from your mouth, leaving your tongue chasing it pathetically as he laughed and leaned down to brush some hair behind your ear, “You don’t get to cum.”

San stopped at those words, pulling his own cock from you with a strangled moan. You whined at the loss of attention, Wooyoung’s look turning dark once more as he sat beside San between your spread legs. 

“You really thought you were going to cum after those little stunts you pulled today? Think again.”, he turned to San, pulling him into a kiss as he pulled the condom from his twitching cock.

You watched silently with pleading eyes as Wooyoung wrapped his hands around himself and San, tugging on their cocks quickly with just enough pressure that made San whine. His eyes met yours, both of you looking fucked out, and he tumbled over the edge, his cum landing in thick ropes over your abused pussy and Wooyoungs’ hand. Your boyfriend moaned at the sight, pushing his cock back into you just as he came, the warmth spreading through your body as you closed your eyes. 

“Gooood fucking girl. Taking my cum like a champ.”, you huffed out a playful breath at his choice of words, your pussy aching for release you knew would never come. 

The feeling of Wooyoung’s lips brushing over your ear startled you, your eyes snapping open to make eye contact with San as the boy flushed prettily at your attention, “Maybe next time, throw yourself on Hongjoong.”

[sinimake]

How to write smut scenes

Some personal tips i use for writers who want to set fires to the loins of their readers: (nsfw content)

For starters, define your end goal and drive of your smut.

Every writing must have a drive. Every character has an intention. No, I'm not talking about only the plot, and yes, even PWP needs it. Your scene can start in the midst of the action but must still contain the purpose.

Ask yourself why are the characters fucking? Does one character want to show their love to the other? Or are they seeking their own pleasure? Your characters' dynamic can be the drive. If you have kinky undertones, that can be your drive too.

What this does is that make the scene spicy, stake up the tension and give gratification to readers when the goal is reached.

Point of view

I said it before and i will say it again: No head hopping! Smut is a very intimate scene in which we dive deep into the character's feelings, emotions and entirely focused on their sensations.

You make readers feel the sensation of your first character then show outward reactions of your other character(s). So carefully choose whose pov you wanna write. If you need to change the pov, take a scene break, then switch.

How to absorb your readers into the action?

There's a simple technique called "being in your prime character's head" and this is how you do it.

Instead of writing this:

The air in the room was cold but the florescent light overhead was warm.

You write:

Goosebumps broke out on A's arms against the brisk air of the room while the warmth of the florescent light overhead heated his flushed skin furthermore.

An active tone example:

A shivered against the streep contrast of the cold night air and their flushed skin under the warm florescent light.

The beauty of pacing

If your foreplay is nicely detailed but the main course lasts for like two paragraphs, the satisfaction aint gonna be it, bestie. (Or you intentionally want it short, then oke you do you boo)

One of my favorite pacing techniques is carrying out the actions through dialogues. It keeps the characters dynamic and adds variables to the sentences while pushing the motion.

How to lengthen your smut scene:

The writing feels bland? Add sultry words.

Don't know many variations of sex movements? Use implications! You don't need to describe every thrust. Write about the noise, the rhythm, the bed moving, heart fastening, thighs quivering, breath getting haggard etc.

The scene feels too action oriented? Let your characters talk! Break it up with dialogues! Dirty talking is your condiment.

You don't wanna write long scene but want it to feel like it is long and properly paced? Change positions.

Don't know how to get in the mood? Watch porn (not only to enjoy it) and try to narrate what's happening in your head. It is a useful exercise, if you're comfortable.

Literally don't know what to add? Read smuts and take examples.

Well, that's it, folks! If you have any questions, feel free to hit up my ask, and i will walk you through it, bestie.

Happy writing!

[triflingthing]

I think you mentioned before that you were vegetarian. How are some ways you get protein into your meals? Do you have some dishes you could share? I recently moved out of my family’s home where I ate of lot of processed food, and I’m considering going vegetarian again after taking a break for a few years.

Hi! I’m so lucky I was raised pretty vegetarian and my parents went vegetarian/vegan LONG before I ever did, so you are fighting a much tougher battle! But shifting to whole/less processed foods is such a beautiful goal :)

I’m going to “gift” (hope this works for an unlimited amount of clicks lol) my favourite / practical / monthly use recipes from NYT Cooking that I subscribe to!

And for protein I still eat eggs, but I try to source them as ethically as I can. Lots of tofu, lots of edamame, lots of Greek yogurt, lentils, beans, & seeds! LOTS lol! I love food. Food is the best.

Wishing you platefuls of many gorgeous vegetables this year xx

[mommypurple]

(This is from my original campaign story in Gogetfunding.com)

Good day!

I am Camille Gabrielle and I'm turning 31 this month. As part of my gratitude for the 31 years of my existence, I plan to sponsor 31 random families in need in my hometown. Each family consists of 5 members. I personally prefer indigenous families to be a part of this "celebration" and thankfully, a local community is near us. My goal is give them "essentials grocery supply" for one month. That would include hygiene essentials like bath soap, shampoo, and toothpaste. I would also include easy to eat foods like canned goods and noodles, dry goods like coffee and sugar, condiments, biscuits, rice, and other grocery supplies that would be available and a good cooked meal for the day. If you want to take part in this humbling experience, please share or donate whatever amount you can. Updates on the actual day of giving will be posted in my Ko-fi account. I am asking for help hoping that I can give more to them. Hopefully, someone will see this campaign and help me... us make this a successful one. You can also send your donations directly if you want:

Gcash: 0919-201-4629

P*#p#l

Ko-fi

Gogetfunding

In advance, thank you for making my birthday a memorable one. God bless and stay safe!

Sharing this post or the Gogetfunding campaign is highly appreciated. It's been a while since I used this platform and I'm definitely starting from scratch. Thanks again!

[jaegeraether]

Sunsets and footballers (Part 12)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (12)

Masterlist (other parts here)

(**Going to slow down posting just slightly to once every day or two, rather than multiple in a day. People need time to read them! Thanks for all of the love! Inbox is always open for banter. x **)

Lucy and YFN were making out slowly, just inside the door of her hotel room. Their first date could only be described as perfection from her eyes. YFN had butterflies most of the day as they’d been flirting with each other as if they were school kids. But it was better than that. With the pact of no sex, they were free to flirt and tease and frustrate the other. Three days would be a long time for them.

After the barbecue the night before, they both realised that perhaps they should wait a few days longer until YFN checked out of the hotel as they almost broke their pact that very night, without even having their first date. And so, chivalrously, Lucy had made sure she arrived safely with the promise that she’d pick her up in the morning for their date.

And that she did. And there she was. Beautiful, grinning. Her knee was strapped heavily, and she was wearing a pair of comfy shorts, a white Nike shirt, and cream hoody. Her hair was neat, her middle part separated perfectly, and her glasses were YFN’s favourites. The clear ones with the big frames. Her smile was intoxicating, and YFN loved how all of her face smiled, not just her lips.

Their first date was at a park and even with Lucy’s knee, they’d managed to make the most of it. They found a tree and settled under it, Lucy had packed a picnic blanket and food for them. Lucy settled against a tree and YFN settled against her. They laid around just talking, sharing their histories, goals, motivations, passions. YFN gave attention to her knee and they talked about those issues and Lucy’s lack of proper health care for her knee, as female footballers weren’t looked after back then, and still weren’t to the proper standard. She was trying to change that.

They read their books together silently, cuddled or laying on each other, stroking each other anywhere and everywhere. They fed each other from the charcuterie, fruit and cheese boards that Lucy had packed. At one stage, Lucy fell asleep with her head on YFN’s outstretched legs as she stroked her hair. YFN smiled and kept stroking, continuing to read her book.

When Lucy needed to stretch her muscles out and to give her knee movement, YFN joined. Around lunch time they packed up their things and went for a slow walk around the lake in the park, just enjoying each other. More often than not, they would be finishing each other’s sentences or knowing what the other was thinking or feeling. Somehow, however, they still managed to surprise each other. Perhaps it was the difference in nationality, or perhaps it was just… them.

For lunch, Lucy had booked them into her favourite restaurant, and had requested the little secluded booth in the corner. They ordered far too much and shared everything. Lucy and her condiments were going to be the death of YFN, and she said as much as she wiped sauce off her face for the third time.

And then, they were driving home, singing loudly and terribly, letting their happiness out.

And then, they were saying their goodbyes for the day.

And then, they were slowly making out, their bodies pressed up against each other, heads tilted. God, it was so good that Lucy needed to shift her glasses to the top of her head mid kiss so they could better press their heads together. They eventually slowed down and parted their swollen lips, breathing heavily and feeling tingly.

“Thank you for today, Luce,” YFN whispered, their foreheads still pressed together.

“You’re welcome,” Lucy responded automatically.

YFN pulled her head back to look at her. “No, Luce,” she said, wanting her to understand. Her hand cupped her face, thumb stroking her cheek. She looked into those intelligent green eyes. “Thank you.. thank you for the best day of my life. Thank you.”

This time, Lucy took her time to respond rather than give an automatic response. Their eyes speaking volumes. “It was for me too,” she said huskily. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning whenever you’re ready. Please be safe tonight. I’m always just a call away.”

YFN made sure Jordan looked gorgeous. She was in a tight, black dress with heels and her blonde hair was straightened. She looked so different compared to the sad Jordan she’d seen on the beach. This Jordan was much happier, and even tipsier.

“Christ, she’s goin’ tah be drunk before we even get there!” Katie exclaimed. Jordan and YFN had decided the more company, the better. She and Caitlin were coming out also, along with some new friends YFN had met recently, Beth Mead and Vivianne Miedema. They were all several drinks in and finishing getting ready. They arrived at the pub late and made up for lost time with immediate shots. YFN spoke to Beth and Viv, learning a lot about them. They spoke about their recent ACL injuries which they’d done at almost the same time, and how they’d supported each other through it. YFN thought they seemed like the perfect little jigsaw pieces for each other, Beth was the chatty one and Viv tended to be more on the introverted side… until she’d had a few drinks. They were all having a good banter, Katie encouraging them all to have more shots. Caitlin dragged Jordan up to dance against her will, leaving Katie and YFN both hanging off each other cackling at Jordan’s attempt to dance next to a twerking Caitlin. They all had their turns up dancing and soon enough, they were joined by even more female footballers who must have heard about the night out from one of the girls. Apparently, it was a regular spot of theirs. YFN had so much fun chatting to the newcomers and drinking with Jordan, that her heart felt full. They’d also been quite successful, managing to get the numbers of a few single women for Jordan.

Soon enough, Katie had found out about the wing-womaning and stood on a bar stool, giving a speech to her girls like she was captaining a team. “Alright girls, team mission. Spread out, I’ll go left back, our mission is now to find chicken a girlfriend-” Jordan dragged her from the stool and they were all in stitches from laughing so hard at the wasted Irishwoman. YFN managed to find something that looked like a captain’s armband, and she wrapped it around Katie’s bicep to even more laughter. She’d never had so much fun in her life.

YFN could feel her phone buzzing in her pocket, the girls had been drunk posting photos all over Instagram and tagging her. YFN posted a few herself, one with just her and Jordan, and others with the whole crew.

As she posted, she saw notifications that caught her eye, one in particular.

*Lucy Bronze MBE tagged you in a post.*

“Back home with my loved ones.”

*Katie Zelem liked a post you’re tagged in.*

*Leah Williamson liked a post you’re tagged in.*

*Fridolina Rolfo liked a post you’re tagged in.*

*Lauren James liked a post you’re tagged in.*

*Alexia Putellas liked a post you’re tagged in.*

The post was a photo dump of her time in England over the past few weeks, one of the photos was of YFN and Lucy with her nephew when he had hi-fived them after fixing his knee. It was a cute photo, presumably taken by her mum or Jordan, and the way Lucy was looking at YFN when she was hi-fiving the little boy was full of love.

She wasn’t surprised that Lucy had posted a photo of her, she had asked her during their date if she minded. Lucy had been serious when she’d said she wanted to show her off to the world, and this was perhaps one of the softer ways to do it, starting with one photo that could be mistaken for friends. She couldn’t help but smile and immediately liked the post, tempted to comment but unsure if she should. She’d also been tempted to text Lucy but they both knew a little space was always healthy. Jordan came up behind her for a cuddle and saw the post over her shoulder. Suddenly she was being teased by a few of the girls, her face reddening in response. Apparently it was something called a “soft launch.”

The mood dropped a little as another group of female footballers entered the pub, one of which was Leah.  Jordan was caught by surprise, but she was so far into the drinks that she said she didn’t care, and they continued with their night. Regardless of their relationship, Leah was still one of the Arsenal girls and so they all went over and had a chat at different stages.

Jordan and YFN were on the dancefloor, dancing closely when she put her mouth to her ear.

“Are you going to Spain to be with Lucy?” She asked, slurred.

YFN gave a soft look. “I’m not sure yet, Dory. I’ll definitely visit her. But I thought you were going to show me Birmingham? I want to see you play!”

Jordan gave a big grin and a triumphant, “Yes, mate!” as she kissed her on the cheek. YFN had never had a best friend before, but Jordan sure was getting close.

YFN leant down to Jordan’s ear as they swayed to the music. “Do you like any of the girls we spoke to?!”

Jordan shook her head. “Honestly no. They’re all attractive to be fair, but no one really special yet. Not like you and Lucy.”

“Don’t-”

“-I know, I know. Don’t compare to you and Lucy. You two are an exception, but still, I can dream!”

“What about sex? A one-night stand might be good?”

Jordan nodded. “Yeah, I want that. Let’s find that.”

YFN looked around for a victim and spotted Leah staring at them with that famous frown of hers. Oh, she was jealous, YFN realised. Only then did she notice how it must have looked between her and Jordan. Did she not know she was with Lucy?

With an encouraging word, Jordan built the courage to go and talk to a girl who’d been staring at her, flirty. They’d already chatted earlier in the evening, so she was one of the numbers Jordan already had. She was also the person that Jordan had been most keen on, as drunk Jordan was not so subtle.

YFN made her way back to the table for a breather and a drink break when she again opened her phone to more chaos. She only looked at the most important ones.

*Beth Mead tagged you in a story.*

*Beth Mead liked your story.*

*Millie Bright liked your story.*

*Lucy Bronze MBE liked your story.*

*Katie McCabe tagged you in a post.*

*Grace Moloney liked a post you’re tagged in.*

*Caitlin Foord mentioned you in a comment.*

*Lucy Bronze MBE liked your story.*

*Lucy Bronze MBE liked a post you’re tagged in*

The notifications went for days. Then she noticed a message she didn’t want to see. The username was again slightly different, but it was obviously the same person. She knew she should delete it and block her like the other times, but having had a substantial amount of alcohol already, she opened the message.

Kristie-Bronze1995: *Sent a photo*

The photo was of Lucy and YFN at the restaurant the day before, Lucy kissing her cheek.

Kristie-Bronze1995: *Sent a photo*

The photo was of Lucy laying on YFN in the park, sleeping while she stroked her hair.

Kristie-Bronze1995: You fucking Australian slut. I know where you are. I know what you’re trying to do. Lucy is mine. She’s lying to you. You need to stay away from her and leave the fucking country or I’ll make you wish you had.

YFN shivered, feeling violated and sick. “Hi,” a soft voice came from beside her. She jumped slightly. Quickly screenshotting the messages, she put her phone away and looked to Leah who was standing beside her, looking a little awkward and slightly tipsy. She was grateful for the distraction.

“Hi Leah! How are you doing?”

The two were intoxicated enough to embrace even though they didn’t know each other.

“I’m good, yeah. Just out with the girls.” She gestured to her group which was segregated from Jordan’s wing-woman group.

“I had no idea how popular this place was, I feel like you all have shares in it or something,” YFN laughed. She knew Leah wanted to ask her something and was trying to make her feel at ease. She liked Leah. Everybody had nice things to say about her, Jordan included.

“Yeah,” she laughed weakly. “Are you guys having fun?”

“Of course! It’s a bit hard not to when you’re around this bunch,” she said, gesturing to the group and noticing that Katie was again on a stool shouting with Caitlin encouraging her from below.

“Have you known Jordan long?”

“Honestly, no. We’re new friends. She’s the first friend I made when I came here, and she introduced me to so many people. She’s great.”

“Yeah.. she is. So you’re just here on holiday?”

“I’m unsure at the moment.. working it out.”

“And you came alone?”

YFN gave her a questioning look as Leah realised she’d been too forward. She answered anyways. “I came alone. I’ve made friends, and even managed to start dating someone so I’ll probably stay longer than I intended.”

She put that out there, waiting for Leah to ask who she was dating. She didn’t. Instead she shifted uncomfortably. Then she noticed Jordan flirting with a girl and looked at YFN, confused that she didn’t seem upset. “Wait.. you’re not dating Jordan?”

“Dory? No.. no, I love her. She’s a really good friend. But no.”

“But then who… oh! Lucy?”

“How did you know?”

“You were at her game. And she posted you on Instagram. Are you dating Lucy?!”

YFN nodded, feeling a little excited that she was now able to say it. “It’s very fresh, though. We’re exploring the idea.”

Leah looked relieved, and then happy. Most of her awkwardness and tension disappeared. “Oh, wow. She’s been single for so long…” She trailed off as her mind went somewhere. YFN remembered then that Leah was Keira’s best friend. Her eyes flicked back over to Jordan and the girl who were now even closer. She looked back at YFN like she wanted to talk, to ask her about her ex, but she stopped herself. They didn’t know each other well enough. She started to get a little awkward again, obviously trying to avoid looking over at Jordan.

“Anyways… it was nice to chat. We’ll have to do it again sometime.”

“I’m always here for a chat, Leah. Thanks for coming over here.” YFN gave her a kind smile and as Leah walked away, she could only feel empathy for her. It was clear where her heart was.

Leah re-joined her group and immediately took a shot. YFN looked over to Jordan who was almost about to start kissing the random woman. She knew her friend needed the one-night stand for her own sanity and confidence, but it felt wrong to her that she didn’t know about Leah’s obvious feelings.

Her phone buzzed.

*Leah Williamson started following you.*

Kristie-Bronze1995: *Sent a photo*

The photo was of YFN standing in the pub, staring at her phone just before Leah had walked over.

She looked up, startled. She was here.

[cyanbugremix]

Amanda was one of those kids in middle school and elementary school that likes making "surprise lunch milk concoctions".

She'd put in random fruit, vegetables, candy, and condiments in the little milk boxes, stir it up, and dare kids to drink it (occasionally money was on the table as a prize).

David never accepted it, Milo and Darlin drank it once (decidedly never again), and Asher would do it almost every time (with the goal to gross people out).

(did anyone else have that happen at lunch? I remember cheetos, ketchup, green beans and chocolate milk being a popular mixture)

[acowardinmordor]

The smoke in the air burned his eyes.

Eddie didn't move. Or couldn't. He wasn't sure. He had to wait for Steve, that was all that was left in his head. Steve was late, very late, but it would be okay. Steve was his alpha. His strange, no-longer-cookie-cutter alpha who was as strong as any other but who took care of the kids and never pushed or postured, who had blushed so pretty when Eddie finally found the balls to ask him out a few days ago.

He only met him after finding him sleeping in his car. He'd gotten drunk enough he couldn't drive, but was sober enough to know he shouldn't. Eddie took pity on him, drove him home, got him hydrated, got him some tylenol and crackers and a can to puke in. He didn't do it with any purpose or secret goal. Guy just looked pathetic enough that Eddie couldn't not help.

That was February. It took until April before they could be called friends. It was the top of June when Eddie admitted - after getting called out by Robin - that he was flirting. And that maybe, maybe, Steve wasn't as offended by it as he would have been a year before. Eddie asked him out a few days ago, asked him to go with him to the carnival for the fourth of July, having finally realized that Steve was so tender hearted he wasn't going to ask, no matter how obvious Eddie made his interest.

They were supposed to go on their first date.

Steve was going to rush home after work, and meet Eddie at the carnival, and they were going to eat funnel cake and watch fireworks, and Eddie was going to 'forget' his jacket at home so he could borrow Steve's and never give it back.

They were going to go on a date, and Steve was so late the carnival was over, but that was okay, Eddie would forgive him for it. It was okay, and Steve would know he wasn't mad, because Eddie was here, and he was going to be waiting for him when Steve came out of the mall.

He was always hungry after a shift, and today he was running so late. They'd go to the 24 hour diner and Eddie would make fun of him for how he mixed condiments to get different sauces for his fries, and they'd plan a new date.

[theleslistuff]

DP OC parade day 1: introduction

✨Personality✨

Lesli is simply a sociopath, holding a short temper, she has been thought from a short age to slit a throat rather than speak up her feelings, however, like a carnivore plant she likes to "lure" people around her by either relating to their stories or just out of intimidation, she has a soft spot and is willing to kill for those struggling with mental health or having experienced being "used as weapons", locked up in asylums or having any kind of rivality with their siblings (She has a huge Cain complex with her brother).

✨Basic backstory ✨

"As there's in the world good people, chaotic people and bad people with valid reasons, there's also people who simply enjoy pain, in the end everyone dies~." Lesli Adeluran, Tears and blood coming soon chapter.

She's basically Amity Park's local psycho from the lower places of Amity park, far away from the suburbs, she was meant to be a hitman but a series of unfortunate events let this cannibal beast rise, she may look human but that doesn't make her more human...

(She's the daughter of a human hitman and an half human wendigo).

Likes; human meat (her goal is to some day taste an halfa's meat), extremely sweet food (her taste buds barely identify other tastes than human meat), to take care of animals (normal and ghost), pit fights

Dislikes; regular food like fast food and vegetables unless it's extremely condimented and (to hear the hunting voices of people she killed thanks to her high sense of hearing and seeing the dead due her wendigo nature)

Blorbo!

[expatesque]

Monthly Recap - Nov

Second round of this, under the cut

Read

Mansfield Park, Jane Austen - Do not recommend, was decent in the start but a slog by the end. Fanny is the most insipid protagonist I’ve come across in Jane by a mile, truly wishing her the worst.

Death in the Clouds, Agatha Christie - a top notch Poirot, very fun and twisty.

The absolute drama around Yellow Bittern has been so jokes, Vittles as ever had a great take

Ann Helen Peterson on how to show up for friends (meh, some interesting suggestions, very American oriented) and whether the kids are too soft (oriented towards journalism but a good question to be asking in any industry).

So much about the last 6 months of the economy (tuned out for my gardening leave, now have to catch up).

Watched

This month included Halloween so we had Practical Magic (an absolute must watch for the season for me), Beetlejuice (first time watching, more entertaining than I thought it would be), and I Married a Witch (the second you see Veronica Lake in this you understand why someone would risk their eternal soul and stay married to her)

A lot of West Wing - election season always gets me back to here, one of the best shows ever

Drop Dead Gorgeous - a fun one for a wine-filled night in with a friend

A hungover binge of Man on the Inside - sweet and cute and sad, especially if you know people who've had memory issues.

I am continuing to watch Charmed at night before bed, which is low stakes and amusing enough. Also watching Vampire Diaries, which is terrible but great fun mainly because I live text my reactions to my friend who’s already seen it while I watch, so it’s really half a friendship exercise.

Did

Attended: The ballet! Saw Encounters: Four Contemporary Ballets at the Royal Opera House which was largely eh but (1) the Royal Opera House is amazing, worth seeing anything there for the venue (and esp the bar), alone, and (2) the final piece, The Statement by Crystal Pite, was absolutely mind-blowing, one of the best things I’ve seen in a long time.

Went to three V&A Young Patrons things: Portrait Miniatures handling session (v cool), opening party for the Great Mughals (v fun), private viewing of the Great Mughals (v good, see below).

Learned to: Use hot rollers. Really recommend, they're a super easy way to look way more polished and genuinely take <10 min start to finish. I used this tutorial (and can confirm the volumizing spray she talks about is very good).

Made new friends!: Ana I think is going to be a good one, maybe Parker too. And Beatrix is a perfect tennis friend, not sure if we'll graduate beyond that.

Revarnished my outdoor furniture: trying to help it survive this winter better than last.

A lot of soaking in oxygen bleach of towels, tea towels, stained shirts, etc: getting things into shape for when I go back to work.

Went to a Thursday singles event and went on a date off the back of that: event was scary and kinda meh but I met someone so, worth it.

Found someone to play tennis with during the week (and played twice outside of drills): a big accomplishment, she’s lovely and a good player and available the same kinds of times that I am. Jackpot.

Last Month’s Goals

☑️Use all class pass classes: Actually had to buy more passes, did a lot of F45 and Qigong this month.

☑️Read a book: see Read section above.

☑️New Recipes x4: (1) Confit Chicken Legs - so good and how amazing that they keep for months, (2) Rick Bayless Slow cooker mole - a really good mole recipe (available on YouTube) with a huge amount of depth for (relatively) little work, (3) Brazilian Stroganoff - made this for the Brazilian GP (I try to make themed food for every GP) and it was decent but not my fav and I’m unlikely to make again, (4) Not proper recipes but did a lot of making my own condiments and syrups, e.g. rosemary simple syrup, pickled chillis, slow roasted cherry tomatoes.

☑️Go to a new museum: The Wallace Collection, can’t believe I haven’t been before, it’s free and lovely. The Swing is actually very cool in person, I hadn’t realized how small it is. And the recently completed conservation is wonderful, the colors are really stunning. There’s also a nice cafe. Recommend!

☑️☑️Go to an Exhibition (x2): The Great Mughals at the V&A (very interesting, lots of little details, was glad to go to private viewing with two of the curators as that added a lot), Silk Roads at the BM (incredibly good but also incredibly packed. Try to go first thing in the morning). Note: This one means a major exhibition at a museum I’ve been to before.

☑️Go to the theater: See above, Did section.

🟧Crochet: Making progress, still want to get better about doing this more regularly at night.

❌Write More: Total fail here, need to reconsider how to prioritize this and figure out what the main blockages are.

❌Lay morning foundation: Also total fail on this, probably should reconsider what's realistic for these colder months.

☑️Budget: Barely, was tougher this month. I'm ready to have income coming back in.

🟧Memorize a poem (x2): okay really this is a fail but I had to memorize a rap for Russian class so I'm counting that as a half tick.

☑️Russian flashcards: This is going better and my vocab is improving.

🟧Screen time: Better but still not good. May need to think about how to cycle this through the week / month vs blanket bans/reductions.

🟧Job prep: Unlikely to have any interviews until Jan so this has slowed down but is in progress.

Next Month’s

Carrying Over

Use all class pass passes (I expect to use less because I got home for Xmas midway through the period)

Four two new recipes (shrinking this as I will be doing less regular cooking and more holiday cooking)

Read a book

Visit a new musuem

Go to an exhibition

Go to a show (off for this month, busy start to the month and then I’ll be home)

Crochet

Write more

Morning foundation

Budget

Memorize a poem

Russian flashcards

Screentime

Job/interview prep

New

Quality time with people at home (grandmama, gran and pa, Jack, parents, Grace, Anna, M&M)