#Dismissive

[zoomar]

"His little paws are just as good as hands!"

[cry4judas]

.

[fainting-fat-cat]

Things you probably didn't realize are dismissive and often times demoralizing; a non-comprehensive list:

-Chronically ill or disabled person says, "Man my body hurts, I wish I could transplant my brain into a pain-free body."

Friend responds, "I think everybody feels that way sometimes."

Uh, no bitch. I mean, yes, bitch. But also, no. The pain we are talking about is VERY fucking different.

-Chronically ill or disabled person says, "I'm so tired. I slept 12 hours and I feel like I never slept."

Friend responds, "You shouldn't be tired! Just have some caffeine and quit whining!"

Or alternatively, "I'm tired too. We're all tired."

I know you're tired. But your tired came about because you stayed up too late doom scrolling and mine is because my body hates me and chooses violence at every opportunity. It doesn't really matter how much or little I sleep because I'm in some awful place where sleep is imaginary and rest doesn't matter.

-Chronically ill or disabled person says, "I'm just feeling really defeated, you know? It's hard to lose so much of what felt like me."

Friend responds, "You've just got to be positive! It'll get better."

Ah yes, the power of positive thinking. Well, Karen/Kyle, I think you say that because my supposed bad attitude makes you uncomfortable and quite frankly I don't give a fuck about your comfort in this matter.

-Chronically ill or disabled person choosing to disclose something about their condition in order to safely interact with someone, "Just a heads up, I have this condition and it can make existing difficult in this way that pertains to you."

Coworker/acquaintance/friend says, "Oh my god, you're such an inspiration. You're so strong!"

Or alternatively, "You're just trying to get out of this thing."

OR, "Have you tried yoga? My cousin's sister's dog's nephew did yoga and it completely cured everything that's ever been wrong with him."

I'm seriously going to punch the next person who says this shit to me in the face and have no remorse. And no, they're not just trying to be encouraging. Get fucked.

[zoewest]

What is dismissive avoidant

Dismissive avoidant attachment is a type of attachment style that is characterized by a fear of intimacy and a need for independence. People with dismissive avoidant attachment styles often view close relationships as a threat to their independence and self-reliance. They may also have a negative view of others, believing that they are not capable of providing emotional support. As a result, people with dismissive avoidant attachment styles often avoid close relationships or keep their partners at a distance.

There are a number of factors that can contribute to the development of dismissive avoidant attachment style, including:

Early childhood experiences: People who have experienced neglect, abandonment, or abuse in their early childhood may be more likely to develop dismissive avoidant attachment styles. These experiences can teach children that they cannot rely on others for support and that they must be self-sufficient in order to survive.

Personality traits: People who are high in neuroticism or low in agreeableness may be more likely to develop dismissive avoidant attachment styles. These personality traits can make it difficult for people to trust others and to feel comfortable in close relationships.

Life experiences: Traumatic events, such as the death of a loved one or a divorce, can also contribute to the development of dismissive avoidant attachment styles. These events can make people feel insecure and distrustful of others, which can lead them to avoid close relationships.

If you have a dismissive avoidant attachment style, there are a number of things you can do to improve your relationships. First, it is important to understand why you are afraid of intimacy and why you need so much independence. Once you understand your own attachment style, you can start to work on changing your behaviors.

Here are some tips for improving your relationships if you have a dismissive avoidant attachment style:

Challenge your negative beliefs about relationships. If you believe that close relationships are a threat to your independence or that others cannot be trusted, challenge these beliefs. Think about the evidence that supports and contradicts these beliefs.

Practice being vulnerable. Vulnerability is an essential part of close relationships. If you want to have close relationships, you need to be willing to share your thoughts and feelings with others. Start by being vulnerable with people you trust, such as close friends or family members.

Communicate your needs. If you want your partner to meet your needs, you need to communicate them clearly. Tell your partner what you need from them in terms of support, affection, and intimacy.

Be patient. Changing your attachment style takes time and effort. Don't expect to change overnight. Just keep practicing the tips above and you will eventually start to see results.

[howifeltabouthim]

Maybe he believed his calling to be higher than mine, his thoughts to be more important than my thoughts; most men did.

Rachel Khong, from Real Americans

[crosstheveil]

Attachment Theory: Opposites in Love

Dismissive-Preoccupied Relationship The Trickster & The Maiden

Arabella was standing by the window of a stone tower, her heart pounding in rhythm with the rhythmic thumping of William's sword against the training dummy. The steady, methodical sound echoed through the courtyard, adding an undertone of somberness to the quiet dawn. She watched, mesmerized by his strength, by his resolute determination. But the same strength that drew her to him also instilled a profound sense of fear.

"William, come in and eat something," she called, her soft voice barely rising above the chilly morning air. But he didn't look up, too engrossed in his routine, his world which didn't seem to have room for her.

Arabella was always there, her feelings bare and raw, always waiting for him. Waiting for him to let her in, to allow her to share his burdens, his dreams, his life. Yet, his aloofness, his stubborn insistence on maintaining his solitude often left her feeling unwanted.

One evening, he returned from his practice to find her sobbing in their chamber, a torn tapestry in her hands. "I ruined it," she wailed, tears streaming down her cheeks, "I was trying to fix it for you."

The fabric was an heirloom, a relic of his family. He couldn't fathom why she would attempt to fix something she had no skill in. It felt like a deliberate move, another ploy to get his attention. He clenched his jaw, feeling a sense of frustration building. "Leave it be," he muttered, leaving her with the ruined fabric. Her sobs echoed behind him, and for a moment, he paused. Arabella's continuous attempts to provoke his passion, to awaken some dormant part of him only seemed to widen the chasm between them.

A few months passed and the whispers of a maiden from a neighboring kingdom caught her attention. The maiden was said to be seen often with William. Arabella felt a pang of despair, her heart clenched, her eyes welled up. Yet, she brushed the rumors aside, convincing herself that William would never betray her.

Arabella's love for William was all-consuming, bordering on obsession. She saw him as her knight in shining armor, her rescuer from the distresses of life. She clung to him with unwavering devotion, putting him on a pedestal so high that he could do no wrong in her eyes.

William relished in Arabella's adoring gaze. Her unwavering belief in him stroked his ego and made him feel important. He liked being the center of her world, the embodiment of her dreams. But beneath it all, he viewed her as weak and naive, unable to stand on her own. His appreciation for her affections was marred by his aversion to her excessive neediness.

Once, she tried to confront him, her voice trembling, "There are rumors... about you and... another maiden..." But he merely glanced at her, an emotionless gaze that made her smaller than she already was, "If you believe the rumors, then perhaps it's best we part ways."

Arabella recoiled, her heart throbbing with anguish. But she couldn't lose him. Even though he never showed her the affection she craved, he was her world. She was deeply in love with him, even if he wasn't. She felt she could change him, melt his icy exterior, and win his heart. But, perhaps, it was a futile dream.

Days passed, her despair deepened. She was consumed by him, even though he seemed unaffected by her existence. Despite everything, she still held on, her love for him a constant in the sea of her fluctuating emotions. She watched him from her window, her heart pounding to the rhythm of his sword against the dummy.

Secure-Fearful Relationship The Caregiver & The Wanderer

Elias had his day's work behind him. The quiet hum of the blacksmith's forge remained a soothing background noise as he wiped away sweat and soot from his face. The door creaked open, and his heart skipped a beat at the sight of Amara, her raven-black hair dancing in the evening light. She always managed to appear and disappear in her own mercurial way, catching Elias by surprise.

Amara brought with her a maelstrom of emotions that challenged Elias but also made him feel alive. Amara was elusive, disappearing for days, only to return with a longing for Elias's steady presence. The few times she spoke of her past, her voice would waver, hinting at an unseen darkness.

Elias, with his dependable and warm nature, felt a powerful urge to protect Amara. Each time she appeared, fear and longing etched on her face, he enveloped her with his calming presence. He craved to understand her, to break through her fortress of uncertainty.

However, Amara was like a wild bird. At the slightest sign of confinement, she would fly away. Elias's attempts to bring order to their lives met with unexpected resistance from her. Simple requests such as not to wander off for days without a word would often result in her pulling further away, her eyes shining with unshed tears, making Elias question whether he was asking too much.

She viewed Elias's boundaries as restrictive as if being asked to relinquish her freedom, to let herself be more consumed by their relationship, something her past experiences had taught her to be wary of. Although his earnestness to make things work was often met with disbelief, Elias saw something in Amara that others didn't - a flicker of trust, a silent plea for safety. And he was determined to bridge the gap between them.

Amara found solace wandering the forest as it's only here that she dares to admit the depth of her love for Elias. She etches his name into the bark of a tree, her finger tracing over the letters, a silent testament. Yet as she steps back, she gazes into the forest's depth with a sudden longing.

She dreams of days unbound by time, unfettered by routine, a life where her spirit could soar as high as the eagles, run as fast as the wild deer, and dive as deep as the ocean. Looking back to the tree in front of her, she realizes that within her fantasy of being untamed, she can’t deny how she feels towards Elias, the way her heart seems to intertwine with his like the roots beneath her feet.

One evening, Amara returned after one of her sojourns, looking more disheveled and overwhelmed than usual. Elias embraced her, his heart aching at her distress. He assured her of his unwavering support, asking her to stay, to give their love a real chance. But the intensity of his emotions scared her. She distanced herself, her eyes wild with fear and uncertainty, leaving Elias grappling with a sense of guilt for pushing her.

While Amara did seek comfort and love in Elias, she was overwhelmed by the depth of affection and commitment he showed. His passionate plea for her to stay and give their love a real chance triggered her fear of being consumed by the relationship.

Despite the pain, Elias was patient. He understood that Amara was wrestling with her own demons. Her unpredictable behavior, though disheartening at times, didn't deter him. Elias's love was steadfast, his faith unwavering. He knew Amara was afraid, and he was willing to weather the storm until she was ready to accept his love.

[cat-eye-nebula]

Traits of (an) Emotionally Immature Parent(s)

● Highly defensive/reactive - low frustration tolerance, emotional outbursts, unpredictable behaviour, blame other for feelings. ● Emotionally unavailable - ignore childs feelings, dismiss childs interests, expact the child to raise him/herself, show no affection. ● All focus was on them - expact the child to never upset the parent, blaming the child, childs thoughts and feelings don't matter. ● They're obsessed with appearance - praising the child in public and critical in private, no interest in childs feelings.

[grrlmusic]

Clark - Dismissive

[drgalaven]

Day 9. Dismissive.

[my-sacred-art]

Monica Bellucci (Italian, born 1964)

The Damned Being Cast Into Hell (detail), circa 1605-1610. Frans Francken the Younger (Southern Netherlandish, 1581-1642). The Residenzgalerie, Salzburg, Austria.

[machetelanding]

[evilhorse]

So, go play with your pet birdies somewhere else, okay?

[johnapacheco]

Guest Blog: Feeling Fine......8/21/24

FINE:adverbINFORMAL in a satisfactory or pleasing manner; very well.““And how’s the job-hunting going?” “Oh, fine.”” When talking to people who are relating something that is disturbing to them, it is oftenpunctuated with the above sentiment – “It’s fine, I’m fine.” The tone and context with which it is said conveys anything BUT “fine” as defined in the dictionary. What I have noticed is that…

[nando161mando]

[littleprincessfawn]

Can I really blame him for not taking me seriously, when I so often make myself out to be a joke?

.... I mean I think I can still blame him a tiny bit.

[howifeltabouthim]

But let a girl choose death . . . and death becomes her definition, the outcome of her 'problems.'

Chris Kraus, from I Love Dick