#Don´t think this will happend

[rakurairagnarok]

I dedicate this story to my good friend and writing buddy @idesofrevolution. Merry Christmas buddy and please PLEASE Enjoy. Happy holidays to everyone and Happy TF's.

A Green Christmas

`What!!`

Ryan screamed at the news.

You sighed.

´I have no choice, my family has to move, and I have to go as well, I don´t have any accommodation here.´

Ryan grumbled. `Bro... you can´t leave me man... you´re my best bud.´

You grimaced. Your friend had been acting weird lately. You used to be super close, and you honestly still are, but your interests had began to shift. You used to play games, watch cartoons and study together, but lately Ryan had become absent from you life. He had been ´busy´ with other things but his grades had been plummeting and he had picked up smoking. Ryan had no idea you knew this, but you had seen the pictures from your classmates. His wardrobe had changed too. Before he would wear shirts and khakis, now its oversized shirts and hoodies. He started wearing contacts as well, which, to be honest, was a great look for him, he looked very handsome without glasses. His lingo had switched as well. No more academic jargon. Just simple sentences, which almost always had at least one bro in them.

`Look Ryan, I really am sorry, but I just can´t make this work´

Your family was moving, and while you were a college student, who by all accounts should have received some form of scholarship due to your amazing grades, you never did. The truth however, was that you wanted to move. The alienating feeling you got from your former best friend broke something in you, and you had to put some distance between eachother. You could easily apply for the on-campus dormitories but you just couldn`t bear staying near the now almost stranger.

`Look you´d better go, I want to be home before Christmas and I still have a lot of packing to do.'

Ryan sighed and left. After closing the door behind him, You let out a grunt.

"Why does it have to be this way! What happend to him?"

Reluctantly you began packing. Your father would come and get you and your things on Christmas eve, so you had your work cut out for you. You were currently staying Ryan, but this had always been a temporary solution. Ryan's landlord didn't want two friends staying together only couples or families. Ryan had become quite open to you about his sexuality. He had told you he was bisexual and that he could always tell the landlord the two of you were dating, but you had declined. You had a hard enough time not getting picked on. If word would get out that you two were dating, you would not be able to survive. What Ryan didn't know is that you were in fact also bisexual. You really liked girls but men really were where you got your satisfaction. From porn that is, because you were still a virgin. You grew up in a strict Christian household, with a Father from the south. Your parents would never approve and they were the reason you didn't have to work, so coming out was never an option.

A loud knock shook you from your deep train of thought. You opened the door and Ryan was standing right there, smiling.

"Steven, can we talk bro?"

"Ryan, I told you. I need to pack for..."

"Please, just for a little while."

"...Fine..."

Ryan walked in and sat down on your bed.

"Look man... I've been thinking... I need to be honest with you about something."

You looked at your former best friend with confusion. He had been so dominant and confident these last few weeks, and all of a sudden he looked shy and insecure.

"I... I picked up smoking... and... not just cigarettes. Weed too"

You sighed.

"I know Ryan, I have seen you. Don't worry, it's whatever... Your body, your choice."

Ryan smiled.

"Yeah for reallll broo but, I wanted to ask you a favor."

"What is it?" You asked, slightly impatient.

"Come sit down first" Ryan had this shit eating grin on his face, his perfect white teeth on display. Wait that doesn't sound right. he had braces right?

Because you took so long, Ryan grabbed your arm and pulled you onto the bed, right next to him.

"What the hell man!" You exclaimed.

He quickly wraps an arm around your shoulders, his musky scent drilling into your nose, and holds something up to your face.

"I really, really want to smoke this with you man. Like dying wish and shit."

You look down and see a blunt in between his fingers.

"I don't smoke Ryan, you know this" You point out.

" Just one hit bro, that's all, I won't tell anyone, you don't have to smoke any more, just humor me with this man."

You took a deep breath and wanted to decline, but then something clicked.

"You know what. Sure."

Ryan's grin widened. 'Let's fucking go bro!!!" He quickly grabbed a lighter, and lit the blunt.

He took the first hit, blowing the smoke right into your face, the fumes invading your nose and throat, leaving you gasping for air.

"Sorry there bro, just wanted to give you a little taste."

"I'm only taking one hit bro... fuck" Your eyes widen not only did you just curse, something which you rarely do, you also just used bro in your sentence. Hoping he didn't notice you hold out your hand to take the blunt.

Ryan, who's grinning from ear to ear, hands you the blunt, and you quickly take a hit. You deeply inhale, feeling the smoke fill your lungs and the weed invade your brain. A single hit, and you can almost feel your brain stopping.

"W...whaaat the fuuuuuck" You mumble. Your jaw slacks a bit as the smoke escapes from your lips.

"You gonna take that hit or not bro?" Ryan asked with a sly grin on his face.

"Huh didn't I just?'' You asked confused.

"Bro are you already tripping? I just blew some smoke in your face man, thats all. Now come on bro, you promised."

You took a hit, taking a deep breath, feeling the smoke fill your lungs, and your whole body. Slowly blowing out you feel constricted. You look down to see your buttoned up shirt bulging. You tug on it a bit, and it flies open, revealing a chiseled abdomen and two meaty pecs.

"Brooo wat the fahk' You mumble. "My chest is so big... what the hell"

"Yeah bro I know right. I love that strain. Made me who I am today" Ryan smirks as he takes off his hoodie showing his massive arms and chest.

You look in awe as he stretches a bit, his smooth torso , and bulging muscles on display. He drops his sweats, showing off a massive bulge in his white briefs as he looks at you and smirks.

"Wanna take another hit bro?"

Before he even finished his sentence the blunt was back in your mouth, filling you up with even more smoke. You look down and begin to giggle as you bounce your growing pecs.

"Huhuhu broo they are so bigg... what the shit..." You say as a familiar musk begins radiating from your growing body.

Ryan smiles back.

"Yeah bro you're getting so fuckin huge. You're so hot"

You look at him with a flushed face.

"What... did you say?"

"You're hot. You look amazing."

"Thanks..." You can't help but blush, seeing as he himself is a fucking model.

"You're really hot yourself" You say with a beetred face

Ryan stops smiling and looks at you. He sits down and looks you in the eyes.

"I don't want you to go Stevey. I love you..."

Your eyes widen at the words, and before you know it, his lips get pressed against yours. Before you can react he pushes his tongue into your mouth, and a torrent of smoke follows suit. It's almost as if hes blowing you up, and it feels that way too, Your muscles getting bigger, your mind hazier, and your dick... well...

You manage to push away and look at him.

"Ry... I ... "

"yeah?"

"I think... no ... I know... I love you too man"

Ryan signature shit eating grin flies back onto his face.

"Fuck yeah bro!!"

A sheepish smile creeps onto your face as you grab the blunt from his fingers, taking a massive hit before grabbing his neck and blowing the smoke into his mouth.

"You're so sexy." You say as he blows the smoke back into your face.

"What about you then, such a fucking cute stud you are"

The two of you continue laughing, finishing the blunt before crawling into each others arms.

You text your dad that he doesn't have to come get you anymore, as you will be staying with your boyfriend, and promptly block him afterwards.

You nuzzled up to your boyfriends pit and took a deep breath. It smelled amazing and it bricked you up knowing you smell the same.

This will be a pretty special Christmas.

__________________________________________________________

Happy Holidays Everyone!!!! Feel free to send in some asks or order something at Rakurai Inc.!!!

[smellslikechahnspirit]

Hurt - part 2

[You rejected Hyunjin because you are dating Chan]

BangChan x Reader x Hyunjin

🕸🤍 read guide lines in Masterlist!

THIS IS (OBVIOUSLY) ALL FICTION AND IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY! THIS IS MY PERCEPTION OF HOW I THINK SKZ WOULD BEHAVE IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS AKA, NOT REAL.

As Chris looked at Hyunjin concered, you kinda got annoyed at first. They made it seem like you were the bad guy. You started to tear up now too, due to how complicated the situation has gotten. You started to walk away from the group, Chris followed right away.

Y/n...something happened, don´t even try to deny it at this point. You turned around and looked at him. So many thought running through your mind. I have to think of everyone, but myself right now Chrissy, please leave me alone for a bit, I have to think. He stopped you from walking away by grabbing your waist. No...no. Stay. Let´s talk about this. Today is kind of a big day, and I can´t have the group be unfocussed right now baby, you know that. He said with empathy, but also a hint of frustration. Yea...well tell that to Hyunjin. After you said that you grabbed his hands, only to take them off of you. Good luck today, I´m sorry. As you said that you left the building, leaving the boys alone.

A couple of days have gone by, not hearing much from the boys. You had messages from Chris here and there, that he just didn´t understand what happend and he was kinda angry, you wouldn´t talk to him about it. Luckily you saw some content online, that they were indeed practicing well now, and it almost looked like there was nothing going on between them. But it was all a facade.

01:09 PM

You were mid conversation when he suddendly went offline. You figured he was still a bit annoyed. You threw your phone on the coffee table, and closed your eyes. Taking a nap.

01:23 PM

The doorbell rang, waking you up. You got up fast and opened the door. Chris? You stood there with big eyes, not expecting him to ditch tour practise, just so he could talk to you. Hi baby...can I come in? You nodded softly and went inside with him, sitting on the couch. The couch where you had been chilling for over a few days. And oh lord, it was a mess. Chris looked around the living room, concerned by the mess. I came as soon as I knew you didn´t wanna see us. I don´t get what happened. Please for the love of god, tell me? I´m begging you at this point. You sighed, still not convinced you should tell him. No one at work is in their right mind. You can just feel how tense it is, and now I see, you´re not doing well either. I want to help baby, but you have to let me in. It´s time. You were gonna tell him, afraid of how he might react, but it was getting to heated now. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. Hyunjin told me in detail that he has feelings for me. Chris his eyes widened. His heart sunk. What? Are you serious? You nodded, still not being able to look at him, hiding your face in your hands at this point. I don´t know what to do about this. I didn´t want to hurt him, but I just don´t feel the same way... That´s why he was crying, hm? You nodded again. Baby look at me. You did. I understand the perdicament. But you could´ve just told me. You´re not angry? Angry? At you? Never baby. You chose me anyways and that shows how much you love me. I just wished you´d told me sooner. I couldn´t tell you, because then there would be an even more weird vibe between you two, and I wanted to avoid that. He put his hands through his hair. Well I´m surtainly not happy about all of this, but Hyunjin is also human. His feelings matter too. You agreed and felt bad again for rejecting him like that. I do feel like I got through to him. He knows I´ll never leave you. It´s just now, odd to be around him? No! It shouldn´t be. He is your friend just as much as he is my friend, baby. His feelings may have been hurt, but I guess he just has to come to terms with this. I mean you two do have to talk about it again. Cuz this unspoken silence isn´t good for anyone. Should I give him a call? Maybe ask him to talk about it? Chris nodded and stroked your back soflty up and down. You dialed his number and put it on speaker.

Hello?

Hey Hyunnie...can we talk?

About me confessing to you?

Hmmm, yeah. Maybe we should talk about it again. I don´t want us to be in this situation any longer. I want things to be normal again, so you all can focus better on your job.

I see, you care more about my job, then my feelings.

That´s not what I said, it´s just, you´re making it hard for the rest of the guys to completly focus too, cuz they know something is going on.

I know. I´m sorry. How bout you come to the company? We are now on our break, but in about half an hour we start again. We can talk before that?

Sounds good, I´ll be right there.

Alright, see you soon.

When he hung up, you looked at Chris who had a slight smile on his face. It´ll be fine baby. Let´s go. You both got up and went on your way.

01:55 PM

Chris waited in the cafe room with the others, as you and Hyunjin went onto the empty practise stage. Fine let´s talk. So, I just told Chris. He looked at you in shock. You what? I thought we weren´t gonna say anything! You looked down. I know but I had to. You must understand why. He nodded but was afraid of his reaction. Was...was he angry? You looked up at him holding his face in your hands. No sweetie he wasn´t. He was actually kinda chill and undertstood. He was relieved, smiling. Happy that he could leave it in the past now without having a fight with one of his closest friends. You smiled at him too. But since you had his face in your hands, and was standing so close to him, his feelings for you creeped onto him again. Leaning in closer and closer. Was he really just about to kiss you?! Hyunjin! you practically screamed, letting go of his face immediatly. At that exact moment the rest of the guys walked back on the stage cuz it was 2 PM, ready to continue. Chris had hoped you two would´ve talked it out, but returning to this scene happening right in front of him, he didn´t expect to see that. Excuse me?! Chris spoke loudly, having a very angry expression on his face. He walked towards both of you very fastly and stood in between you and Hyunjin. What the hell do you think you´re doing? She´s my girlfriend! Chris spoke. After a few seconds of everyone being in awe, he calmed down. Sorry. But Hyunjin??? What? He spoke soflty, yet irritated. I understand you have feelings for her, but she told you she didn´t feel the same way. You have to let it go. Hyunjin appologized, not knowing what came over him. I know...I went way out of line. But I am...I am so in love with y/n. I know it´s wrong, but...nevermind. I shouldn´t have. Yea, you souldn´t have. Hyunjin walked away. Well that went well... It´s okay honey, we´ll figure it all out.

The day contiued with the members having a short meegting with some staff. They decided it was the right thing to do; Hyunjin having a few days off. He wouldn´t be in the right mindset anyways.

After a few days have past, you knew he would return. What time is everyone coming in today? You asked Chris, who was already in the studio with you. Around 8 baby. I´m glad you´re here again today. I really want to know what you think about this mashup I made. You smiled. You and Chris were closer then ever, not wanting to have secrets between you two ever again. Now it was just waiting to see how Hyunjin was doing. He finally arrived. Together with the other members. You both being nonchalant, trying not to put too much pressure on him. But as he walked closer he kept looking on his phone. At first you thought it was because he was avoiding interaction with both of you. But when he finally sat down on the couch next to you, you realised he was chatting exsessively, and smiling while doing so. It made you giggle and look at Chris. Then the rest of the guys who followed him, also smiled. Why are you smiling Hyunjinnie? You asked while petting his arm. He kept staring at his screen, grinning. He´s been seeing this girl he met the other day. And they have been chatting non-stop. You looked at Chris who was also happy for him. All relieved that Hyunjin was doing alright now. You and Chris, happilly together after all.

...Masterlist...

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

© 2022-2024, smellslikechahnspirit • No posting on other sites or platforms, rewrites, or translations

[justmymindandstuff]

Right in front of you - Bucky Barnes x Reader (AU)

Summary: Natasha's new boyfriend doesn't like the fact that she and her ex Bucky are still good friends. So Natasha lies and drags you into a fake relationship with your best friend. What could possibly go wrong?

words: 16.189

warngins: drinking, make- out, a bit angst?, talk about suicide (briefly, not explicitly), swearing / language// ( I think thats all, correct me if I am wrong)

A/N: fake dating trope, Miscommunication, fluff, best friends to lovers// Avengers as a chaotic group of friends// AU// English is not my first language// no beta// Gif not mine// AO3.

Relationships: Bucky x Y/N // Natasha x Bucky (previously; mention)// Natasha x Bruce (previously; mention)// Natasha x Y/N (platonic) // Tony Stark x Y/N (platonic)

I had this in my drafts since 2022, but totally forget about it. Last weekend I rewatch tfatws (Yes, the whole season I have no self-control) and god sebastian stand is one of the most handsome man alive. I revised this draft and added about 10K words. This wasn't originally planned. Sooo anyways have fun with this :) Love to all of you ❤️.

You sit on Natasha´s comfortable couch and take a sip of your coffee. Your best friend called you in the morning and asks for this catch up and said she had a level 9 Problem. So you have been sitting here for almost 2 hours. You and Nat hand already exchanged all the important news form the last few weeks, but Natasha hadn´t yet said whats her level 9 problem is. "So why did you want to talk with me so badly Nat? We have talked about everything now." you say.

Natasha sights."I messed up."

"What happend?" you ask now worried.

"It is about Rick."

Her new boyfriend. He´s a pretty nice guy, from what Nat said. But you haven´t meet him yet. Natasha dates him for 3 month now.

"What did you do?" you asks. Since are when you have to pull every word out of her nose? Nat hesitates for a moment and takes a sip from her coffee.

"Okay. Please listen to me. I know I messed up but I have a plan. And for this plan I need your help."

"I will listen."

"So, Rick and I, we talked about our friends last week and you know we had already talked about our exes. And now he knows that I am still firends with Bucky. But Rick doesn´t think it is cool that I am still friends with him." she stopps and you look confused. You don´t see a Level 9 Problem with this. Natascha and Bucky were together for a few months and that was almost 3 years ago. So why is it a problem?"Y/N I am so sorry. It was a dump idear but it was the frist thing that comes to my mind. And I was pressed for time."

"Natasha! What did you do?" you ask again, now a bit annoyed.

"I told Rick you and Bucky are together."

"You did what?" you ask shocked and a little angry. Is she serious?

"I am so sorry. But besides Bucky, you are the only single in our group. And after that Rick was fine with Bucky as my friend."

"Natasha! What a stupid idear. And what´s your plan now? We all meet Rick this weekend."

"I know, I know. I already texted Bucky, but he is still at work, he says he will call me later."

"And what do you want me to do?"

"Lie for me? Please Y/N." she looks desperately at you. As if you could refuse her something when she looked at you like that. You shigh and in her look you can see that she knows she won.

"Fine. If Bucky is okay with it, I will pretend to be his girlfriend. But Nat, for how long do you think we can lie to him?"

"Not for long, just a few weeks. And than you and Bucky can pretend that you have broken up and remain friends. So Rick can see that Bucky can be just friends with his ex- girlfriends and everything will be fine." She smiles and you sigh again. What could go wrong? Except from everything.

"Fine! But I don´t like this plan."

"I know. And I am sorry."

"Its okay."

*

You enter your apartment and close the door behind you. You are not sure if Natashas plan will work. But you are her friend, so you will help her, no matter what. Your phone rings, you fummel it out of your Pocket. Bucky. You answer the call.

"Hey Bucks what up?"

Bucky came as Natashas Boyfriend in your friendgroup, but after a few weeks he was friends with all of you, and after he and Nat broke up, they reminds friends and Bucky stays with your group. You are glade he did, you really like him. In the last years, he became your best friend. He even integrated Steve and Peggy into your circle of friends.

"Hey Y/N. How are you? Have you talked with Nat?"

"I´m fine. Yes I have. What do you think about her plan?"

"It´s stupid." he laughs. "But I said I will go with it, if its okay with you."

"I said I will help her."

"Good. Just wanted to make sure you are okay with it."

"If it helps her, of course I'll do it."

"You are a good friend. Then we will see us on Friday. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Why?" you asks.

"Because we have to preatend we are a coupel." he says as if it were logical. And as if that were normal.

"Right." you start laughing. "It will never work."

"No probally not. But lets give our best to not mess it up for Nat."

"We can try. So you pick me up at 8?"

"I will be at your place."

"Thank you Bucky. See you at Friday."

"See you Friday Doll."

You hate this nickname, but he never listened to you when you said he should stop calling you that. After two years you gave up.

*

Friday is coming sooner than you thought. You've been stressed all week about your work, next week you have to present your new project, but you're still missing some figures from the last quarter, of course the department is lagging behind. So you had to work overtime. On the way home, your mother called you. Your grandma had another argument with her neighbors. Probably something about the garden fence. You couldn't care less. The argument has been going on for years, but your grandma is just stubborn. And she's driving your mother crazy. It took you hours to calm her down and when you finally hang up it's almost seven o'clock. And you haven't eaten anything since your lunch salad. Damn. You're going to your favorite bar tonight, but you can't go out on an empty stomach. You can't tolerate alcohol anyway, and on an empty stomach the evening would probably end over the toilet bowl before midnight. You open your fridge and sigh. Of course you forgot to go grocery shopping. You reach for your phone and dial Bucky’s number.

"Hello Doll." he answers in a good mood. "Everythin alright?

"Yes. Can you come a bit earlier and bring something to eat on the way? I forgot to shop grocerys and haven't eaten anything properly yet."

"Sure I'll do it. We don't want to repeat St. Patrick." he laughs. You grimace at the memory of the evening in which you dumped the contents of your stomach into the Hudson. "Not funny Bucks."

"Maybe not for you. I had a lot of fun making sure you didn't take an involuntary swim and end up as a corpse in the water." you hear him laugh through the phone and roll your eyes. You would like to respond with an embarrassing story from Bucky, but the man can drink like no one else. Sometimes you think he's immune to alcohol. “Is chinese okay?”

"Yes perfect. Please bring.."

"Spring rolls. Yes, I know, doll."

“Lifesaver I Venmo you the money.”

"Absolutely no way!"

"Bucky." you start, you hate it when he invites you out, but Bucky throws his money around like it's nothing. Because it's probably nothing for him. Bucky makes a lot of money with his firm.

"Don't argue. I'm your boyfriend, remember." he laughs. Oh yeah, Natasha's stupid plan.

"I actually forgot." you laugh now.

"My heart just broke." You roll your eyes, but then laugh. As if any woman could ever break James Barnes' heart.

"I'm on my way now, I'll be there quarter past." Your gaze goes to the clock. You've got half an hour, damn it.

"Okay, I still have to get ready. I will be quick."

"See you soon."

"See you soon." You hang up, quickly put your cell phone on the charging cable and sprint into the shower. You also have to wash your hair, you're really not on schedule this week. Bucky only needs 20 minutes, so you open the door for him still in a towel and with your hair half-dried. At least your Make Up is already done.

"What a sight." he laughs and lets his gaze slide over your barely covered body. You feel yourself blushing, even if there's no reason for it. Bucky has already seen you in your underwear, so the towel covers more.

"Charming." You say and let him into your apartment. He throws his keys and wallet into the small bowl next to your door and puts the take away bag on the kitchen counter.

"You know me. Go get ready, we don´t have much time. Since when have you been so late?"

You love punctuality. You think it's rude and disrespectful to make people wait for you, but this week seems to be cursed. You go back to the bedroom to get dressed.

"I've been behind time all week. Work is totally exhausting me. I have to present next week but of course nothing works out the way I want it to." You call loudly from your bedroom so Bucky can hear you as you rummage through your clothes. Of course you had also forgotten to check with Wanda and Natascha what exactly the dress code was for the evening. "Do you know what Nat or Wanda wear?"

"Of course not?"

"Crap."

"You look good in anything, so just wear somthing." he calls from the living room.

"Liar"

"Never Doll."

You pull your black dress out of your closet. It's just the right length to not be slutty. Quickly, but carefully so you not smear your make-up, you slip into the dress. You let your hair fall loosely over your shoulder, but quickly blow-dry it so that you don't look like you've plugged into a socket. You take a quick look at yourself in the mirror, yes, that would work. "How cold is it ?"

"It's summer, so not at all."

"So no tights?"

"No, no tights. Another question I've never asked myself before."

"You're a man, pants and shirt and you're dressed for any occasion." you come out of your bedroom. Bucky is sitting in your kitchen, he has put the food on a plate and has put cutlery out for you and a glass of water next to it. "You are my hero." You say, plopping down in the seat across from him.

"I know." You look at the clock, you actually have to leave in five minutes so as not to be late. You're narrowing your eyes, damn it.

"Now take a deep breath, relax and eat. Then we'll be a little late, it's not the end of the world. Besides, it's not just us, Vision, Wanda, Tony and Rick are there. Nat won´t be alone."

"Steve isn't coming?"

"Nope, Peggy isn't feeling well." You start eating.

"Still not?" you ask worriedly Peggy hasn't been feeling well for a few weeks, hopefully it's nothing more serious. When you spoke to her on the phone last week she sounded tired and exhausted. Bucky grabs one of your spring rolls and dips it in the sauce, a mischievous smile appearing on his face. "What is?" you ask confused.

"I'm not actually allowed to tell you this." You're immediately curious and lean a little further forward in your chair.

"Tell me."

"But swear you won't tell anyone."

"I swear."

"She is pregnant." Your mouth falls open, you expected everything but not this.

“I didn’t know they were trying.” Steve and Peggy have been together since high school, but neither of them have talked about having children until now.

"They didn't, it was an accident but they wanted to keep it." Steve and Peggy as parents? Funnily enough, you can imagine it. "Steve has been through an emotional rollercoaster in the last few weeks, you can't imagine it Y/N." Bucky laughs.

"And he didn't say anything to anyone?"

"No, only I know and now you. So quiet."

"I promise not to say a word."

"Good. Different topic." Suddenly he becomes serious and Bucky's look almost makes your food stick in your throat. "Nat's plan."

"What about it?"

"We should discuss boundaries."

“Boundaries?” you ask confused. What does he mean now? You actually thought you would go to the bar, introduce yourself as boyfriend and girlfriend and sit next to each other. Why do you need boundaries?

"Well, we want Rick to believe us and I think we should kiss for that. Of course only if it's okay with you." It would be a lie if you never imagined kissing Bucky. After all, he's terribly good-looking, charming, friendly, a perfect gentleman. And even if you're embarrassed and would never admit it one night or two when you were alone, Bucky as a fantasy has served you well. But he is also your best friend, your savior in times of need and your best friend's ex. Fantasy is one thing, but in reality?

"Kissing is okay with me." you say. "It just might get weird."

"Why weird?"

"I don't usually kiss my best friends. You're like a brother to me." A shadow crosses Bucky's blue eyes, but he's smiling.

"If you find the thought of kissing me disgusting..."

"I did not say that!" you say quickly. No woman on this planet would associate the idea of ​​kissing James Bucky Barnes with the word disgusting. You are sure of that! "I just think it's weird. The others are there too." you blush at the thought of kissing Bucky in front of all your friends. What have you gotten yourself into? And all because of Nat.

“Do you want to practice?” he asks and a mischievous grin appears on his face.

"I know how to kiss."

"I'm sure you're very good at kissing. I'm just saying so our first kiss isn't in front of everyone else." That sounds like such a stupid idea that it makes oddly enough sense.

"Then let's practice." You say, putting your fork down.

"Are you ready?" he points to your plate. There's still a little food left, but you're full and it should protect you from an alcohol escapade.

"Yes." Bucky takes your plate and cutlery, stands up and puts everything in the sink. Then he leans against your kitchen counter. You sigh and stand up too. You could say you're doing all this just for Natasha, but somehow the thought of kissing Bucky makes you nervous, but in a pleasant way. You walk over to him and stop right in front of Bucky. He's a bit taller than you, so you lean your head back slightly to look him in the eyes.

"Y/N. If you don't want that, we can just cancel it. Nat would understand." He says, looking you in the eyes.

"Nonsense. It's not that bad."

"Thanks."

"Thats not what I meant."

"I know, I'm just messing with you." he grins at you. Then his gaze goes from your eyes to your lips and back to your eyes. Bucky lifts his hand and places it carefully on your cheek. Then he leans forward. His lips touch yours and you freeze for a second. But then you move your lips against his, your hand automatically laying on his chest. Bucky’s hand moves from your cheek to your neck and he pulls you closer to him. The next moment his tongue slides into your mouth and you press yourself closer to his muscular body. But then you flinch. What are you doing here? You open your eyes and see it straight into Bucky’s. His gaze sweeps over your face as if he’s searching for something. "Too much?"

"No. I was just surprised." you feel your heart thundering in your chest. You feel strange, but not bad. And it wasn't as uncomfortable or weird as you thought. It was nice.

"And weird?"

"Not for me."

"For me either. You are a good kisser."

You hit him on the chest "Jerk."

Bucky laughs. "Come on now. We're late." he then says. You quickly grab your coat, throw your cell phone and wallet into your bag and slip on your high heels. "But I won't carry you home later if your feet hurt." Bucky says as he packs up his things again.

"You're taking me home?"

"Of course. I'm the perfect boyfriend." You roll your eyes. Why does he actually enjoy this lie so much?

"Come now perfect boyfriend." You say, pushing him out of your apartment and closing the door behind you.

Even though you hurry, you're almost 30 minutes late when you get to the front door of the bar. From outside you see your friends already sitting at one of the tables. "Ready for our big show?" Bucky asks you.

"It's a good thing I was at the Theater Club."

"I did not know that." he says surprised.

"Why sould you?" Bucky shrugs. Then he opens the door and gestures for you to go ahead. "Gentleman."

"Always." You enter and as you walk through the half-full bar to the table where your friends are already sitting, Bucky place his hand on the small of your back. When you get to the table you can’t help but smile. You hadn't seen Wanda for at least 2 weeks, Vision even longer than that and apart from a phone call last weekend, you've barely had any contact with Tony. It's unusual for your friend group, but at the moment you're all kind of busy doing something. That's how it is when you grow up.

"Hey guys." you say happily. "I'm so sorry we're late."

"That was 100% my fault." Bucky says.

"Our two lovebirds." Tony says and winks. You ignore him and turn to the only strange face at the table.

"And you must be Rick?"

"Yes, hello, Nice to meet you." he holds out his hand to you.

“I’m Y/N.” You say, shaking his hand. "That's my boyfriend." That sounds strange.

"James." Bucky shakes Rick's hand too, but you can tell by the way his muscles tense that he's shaking it unnecessarily hard, despite his smile. Wanda slides to the side so you and Bucky can sit on the bench next to her. Vision looks between you and Bucky, confused.

"Did I miss som...."

“Rick, I want something to drink, then we can bring something for Bucky and Y/N too.” Natasha says quickly and practically pushes Rick off the bench. You hear the panic in her voice.

“Bring something for me too.” says Tony, downing his half-full beer in just a few sips and then fumbling his credit card with grand gestures out of his pocket to give it to Natasha. Yeah, not strange at all or anything. Rick goes to the bar and before Natascha follows him she gives Wanda a quick, slightly angry look.

"Sorry." she whispers, Natasha disappears after Rick. "I totally forgot to tell you." She then says to Vision. "Bucky and Y/N act like they're together. Because Rick doesn't like the idea of ​​Nat and Bucky being together."

"What?" Vision looks between all of you, confused.

Tony starts laughing. "If you say it out loud it sounds even stupider."

"No shit Sherlock." you say.

"Bucky and Natasha used to date?" Oh poor Vision, sometimes you forget that he hasn't known you that long and that sometimes Wanda doesn't think about all the details. Not because she means anything bad, but because she is simply forgetful.

"Long before your time." Tony says in response to Vision's question

"Three years ago, but only briefly."Bucky says now.

"Then what's Rick's problem?"

"We do not know." you say. "But that's Natascha's thing, she asked us to do it and we're playing along."

“Red flag nonetheless.” says Wanda. Tony nods.

"Please! This is Natasha's first relationship since Bruce. We're meeting Rick for the first time today so please guys be nice. And stop your prejudices and red flags. We don't really know him." You're briefly afraid that the mood will change because you mentioned Bruce, but Tony just rolls his eyes and then agrees with you

"You're right. And we're always nice."

"That's a lie." Wanda says and you join in her laughter. A moment later, Nat and Rick come back to the table. A mojito is placed in front of you and you grin at your best friend.

"Thanks."

"Thank Tony, that was on his card."

"You make me poor."

"You're a billionaire heir." Bucky interjects and takes the beer from Natasha.

"Really?" Rick asks as he sits back down in his seat.

"Ever heard of Stark Industries?"

"The weapons company?" Tony rolls his eyes.

"Former weapons company." and you can tell from his look that Rick has already been written off by him. You kick him under the table. "Be nice." You whisper, gladly that Rick is talking to Vison. Tony rolls his eyes, but then clinks his new beer with everyone, including Rick. You all catch up on what's going on. Your conversation briefly turns to Peggy and her mysterious illness.

"She works in a kindergarten, where you're always catching something." you say quickly. Bucky grins sideways at you. You're already excited to see how your friends will react to Steve and Peggy's baby news. Rick is just talking about his work when you suddenly feel Bucky's hand on your thigh and you flinch.

He leans in slightly and whispers in your ear. "Relax, you're ruining our show." You smile and act like he said something funny, and when he kisses your cheek you don't flinch.

“Y/N, when is your presentation?” Wanda asks, after she is done talking about her and Visons weekendtrip to Jersey.

"Tuesday and Wednesday I'll probably get fired."

"So bad?" Nat asks worriedly.

"No, not quite that bad, but it sucks."

"You're welcome to start at my company on Thursday." says Tony. "I still need a new assistant."

"The worst three years of my life." Natasha says and then lowers her voice to sound more like Tony. "Romanoff cancel my meeting tomorrow I have a hangover. Romanoff I don't want to eat with Musk. Romanoff where is my watch?" everyone except Tony laughs.

"Pepper never complained."

"You were in love with her the whole time, of course you were nicer."

"Exactly." Natasha supports your point.

"You worked for Tony?" Rick asks confused. "I thought you were a lawyer."

"Yes, before I even went to university. And I'm not really a lawyer yet. I'm still at university. Speaking of which, Y/N, you won't believe who called the office." Nat works alongside university in a renowned law firm. Bucky got her the job.

"Who?" you ask confused.

"Your granny."

"No!" Embarrassed, you hide your head between your arms on the table. Bucky laughs next to you and strokes your hair, his warm hand touching the skin on your shoulder and strangely, you get goosebumps at the feather-light touch. You quickly sit up again and his hand goes over your back and rests on your thigh again. "What did she want?" you ask, reaching for your second mojito.

"Sue her neighbor again."

"God I really need to call her tomorrow."

"I already explained to her that that doesn't work." Nat says.

"I'm sorry she's annoying you so much."

"Oh, it's not that annoying. Plus, she sends me Christmas cookies every year, so I'm happy to put up with a little complaining."

The evening continues and at some point it's Bucky and you's turn to get new drinks for everyone. As you walk through the crowded bar you notice the alcohol in your veins. When you get to the bar, you lean against the counter, Bucky puts an arm around you. It's not unusual for him to touch you or hug you, but today he's somehow more affectionate than usual. Not that you mind. You don't know that about him at all, not even with his girlfriends that he has every now and then for a few weeks.

"You're putting on a good show." You say after he orders another round of cocktails and tequila for you. After this you better drink some water.

"Do you think he believes us?"

"Why shouldn't he?"

"I don't know, he looks at me strangely all the time."

"You're also his girlfriend's ex."

"That was three years ago." he rolls his eyes.

"I know, but toxic masculinity. And the way you shook his hand wasn't exactly nice either."

Bucky grins. "I couldn't help it." then he rolls his eyes. "He's looking at us."

"Seriously?" you want to turn around to look, but Bucky quickly puts his hand on your cheek, forcing you to look at him.

"Not so obvious." You giggle at your own stupidity.

"Is he still watching?"

"Yes. Ready for a show?" Before you can ask what he means, he leans forward and his lips are already on yours. You're briefly surprised, but then you return the kiss. His hand moves to your back, resting just a little above your ass as he presses you against him. Maybe it's the alcohol, or the fact that you want to put on a good show for Nat, or the fact that Bucky is really good at kissing, but this time it's you who slip your tongue into his mouth. Bucky grins and your tongues start a little battle that he wins. Your arms fold behind his neck and you press your body closer to him. You feel your heart beating a little faster, probably because of the alcohol and because you're making out in the middle of a crowded bar. You've never done that before. Bucky pushes himself towards you, so you have to back away slightly and now your back is pressed against the bar, but it's not uncomfortable. His hand moves a little lower and is now actually on your butt. His body is completely pressed against yours and your nails are carefully scratching his neck. Your lips move perfectly against each other. He's really damn good at kissing. You break away from each other, breathless. Bucky rests his forehead against yours. "That was hot." You laugh briefly.

“Is he still looking?” Bucky turns his head slightly to the side and his gaze goes over to your table.

"No."

"Good." Nevertheless, neither of you makes any effort to put distance between you. Your shoes put you almost at eye level with him. Bucky grins and then kisses you again, your lips only touching for a brief moment, but this kiss somehow feels much more intimate than your previous make-out session. A smile creeps onto your lips without you being able to prevent it. Definitely due to the alcohol. The bartender brings you your drinks and the tequila shots with lemon and salt on a tablet. Bucky takes the drinks and you take the shots, then you go back to your table.

"And I thought you'd disappear home." Tony greets you with a grin.

"You are just jealous." you say.

"He's not jealous, he's horny. How long has Pepper been with her parents in Florida? 1 week or was it 2?" Bucky says. Tony grimaces.

“18 days,” he then answers.

"Ohh you're counting the days you little puppy."

"Shut up Romanoff and drink more." Tony reaches for the shot glasses and puts one in front of everyone. You clink glasses, lick the salt from your hands and then drink the tequilla. You quickly bite into the lemon and are happy that the tequilla taste is gone.

"The toilets are where?" Rick asks, Natasha had probably told him that you were here often.

"At the bar on the right and down the stairs." Vision replies. Rick nods, stands up and heads in that direction.

Your friends' eyes are immediately on you.

“What was that?” asks Wanda.

“Even I almost believed you.”

“Why do you look so good while making out?” says Tony. Bucky kicks him under the table. "That was a compliment."

“We wanted to be convincing.” you answer, blushing and taking a sip from your mojito. The fact that Bucky's hand is on your bare thigh again and his fingers are drawing small circles doesn't really help to remove the blush from your cheeks.

"You were convincing."

"A little too convincing." Tony wiggles his eyebrows. "

"Where is your fantasy goes now hm?." says Vision. Nat and you grimace.

"I dont want to know it."

"Like I'm some disgusting stalker or something. Your new boyfriend was staring like a creep."

"That's not true." Wanda defends Rick, but you can tell by the look in her eyes that she agrees with Tony.

"He's just worried about Bucky. Because we used to be together. And you're not really nice to him either."

"I hardly spoke to him."

"Exactly. And what was that about James?"

"That's my name?"

"No one calls you that."

"I've known the guy for less than two hours and you came to me and said he thinks I'm shit. Do you really think I'm acting out here like I am best friends with him." The two bitch at each other. You reach for Bucky’s hand to calm him down a bit.

"I didn't say he thinks you're shit. Just our friendship."

Bucky presses his lips together and tilts his head slightly. "That's a bad move on his part."

"He's just insecure."

"It's not my problem if he has complexes." then Bucky bites his lip and you know he almost said something mean.

"It's enough." Vision chimes in. "We're here to get to know him. And so far he's quite nice. A good guy Nat." he says in his diplomatic voice. Does he also talk to his students like that?

"Thank you Vis. Also for being so open with him." her gaze goes back to Bucky.

"I've said enough."

"He comes back. Laughs and acts like I said something funny."

"Everything you say is hilarious Tony."

“I love you too Y/N.”

The evening continues with endless conversations and bad jokes. It doesn't even take 10 minutes and Bucky and Nat have forgotten their little bickering. You drink another shot with the others, but when Tony orders the third round you are out and prefer to continue drinking your cocktail. Bucky doesn't leave your side the whole evening, every now and then he presses a kiss on your lips or cheek and when you lean against his shoulder he immediately puts his arm around you and strokes your shoulder with his fingertips. Why is he so good at playing this fake relationship? But actually it doesn't matter. It feels good somehow. You miss it sometimes, the light touches, brief glances and secret whispers. But after your last relationship ended in heartbreak a little over a year ago, you're staying away from men. Wanda and Vision are the first to say goodbye and after a while Tony also starts to yawn now and then. Nat and Rick have separated themselves from you a bit and are making out in the corner, which makes Bucky roll his eyes.

"I'm leaving before those two eat each other over there." says Tony. You giggle silly. Unfortunately, you completely forgot that you actually wanted to drink water and the alcohol went to your head.

"We should going home too." Bucky then says.

"Hey. Nat, Rick." The two break away from their kiss and look at you. "We are heading home now." says Tony.

"Alright. It was nice to see you." says Natasha. “Y/N can I call you tomorrow morning?”

"Yeah, just call when you're ready."

"It was nice meeting you guys." says Rick.

"Yes, I thought so too, hopefully we see you soon again." you answer.

"Yeah, it was nice." Tony also says and nods at him. Bucky doesn’t say anything but helps you get up. Tony leads the way through the crowded bar towards the exit and Bucky walks behind you, his hand is on your back again as he carefully pushes you after Tony. You notice how your feet are starting to hurt in your shoes and you're glad to be home soon. A look at your phone tells you that it's almost 2 A.M. Oops. You didn't want to stay that long. Outside you breathe in the warm night air.

“Taxi or walk?” Bucky asks you, he has his arm around you again and you lean against him.

"Taxi please my feet are hurting. Tony will you drive with us?"

"You live the other way, dear." laughs Tony.

"That's right. But you know, I only can the subway network, not cars."

"We can drive to my place, that's in the same direction." Bucky suggests.

"Uhh, so you take her home with you. Your relationship goes pretty quickly."

"Shut up ass." Bucky says and hits Tony lightly, but he just laughs.

"Let's be honest. You looking good together."

"But we're not together. Just best friends" You said, laughing at Tony's statement.

"Well bro, that must have hurt."

"Dude. Leave it." you don't see his look, but from Tony's reaction you can tell that Bucky is looking at him more angrily than amused. Tony nods and starts typing on his phone, a few minutes later a taxi pulls up. You get in and Bucky says his address, the driver nods and drives off. It's late or early, depending on how you look at it. But New York never sleeps, so there is still traffic on the streets. Although less than during the day. You shift a little in the seat until you're comfortable and listen to Tony and Bucky's conversation. The ride doesn't take long, and when the taxi stops in front of Bucky's building, you rummage through your bag for your wallet.

"I'll cover it." Bucky says, but this time you remain stubborn.

"No." you take the bill out of your pocket and give it to the driver. Then you say goodbye to Tony, and when Bucky raises his hand for a farewell handshake, you notice that he had his hand on your thigh the whole ride again. Why didn't you notice this before? Did you really drink that much? You shake your head and climb out of the taxi. He probably got so used to it all evening that he didn't even notice. The taxi continues to take Tony home. Bucky takes his key out of his pocket and you go inside. The elevator ride to Bucky's floor is silent, but not unpleasant. A few minutes later you are standing in his apartment. You slip off your shoes and flex your feet.

"You see, you didn't have to carry me home." you say.

"Lucky me." Bucky grins at you and then helps you out of your jacket, his fingers running over your shoulders. "Are you tired?" He asks as he hangs up your jacket for you. You throw your bag under the wardrobe.

"A little bit." you answer. Bucky also takes off his jacket and shoes. Then he comes to you and you lean against him. He takes you in his arms and strokes your hair. You breathe in his familiar scent. "Do you think we convinced him?" you ask quietly.

"I guess. What else could we have done?" Bucky laughs briefly. You shrug your shoulders.

"You were really clingy today." Bucky pushes you away a little to look you in the eyes.

"Too much?"

"No." you say quickly. "No, not at all. I thought it was kind of nice. Just unusual."

"Unusual?"

"Well, I don't know you like this at all."

Bucky shrugs and smiles. "But nice?"

"Yes. I sometimes miss the closeness you have when you're in a relationship. Do you know what I mean?"

"Yes, I know what you mean. I thought it was nice too. You kiss well." You start to laugh and want to pull away from the hug, but Bucky holds you by your waist.

"Don´t." he whispers. Suddenly you become aware of the closeness between the two of you. But you're always close? Why do you suddenly have this tingling sensation under your skin? You feel the alcohol in your veins. You smell the alcohol on his breath. And the next moment his lips are on yours again. You don't know which of you kissed whom. You do not care. This kiss is different, there is no one here that you have to act for. There is no one here for you to practice for. His lips on yours are soft, warm and comfortable. Buck’s hand cups your cheek and his thumb gently strokes your cheek. You put your arms around his neck and press yourself against him. His tongue carefully pushes into your mouth. Alcohol, adrenaline and desire rush through your veins. The kiss quickly intensifies, your tongues battle with each other, Bucky wins. His hand moves from your hip back to your ass and when he grabs it you moan. You never realized how much you missed being touched like that. You break away from each other, breathless. You look into his blue eyes, you don't know what you're looking for, but all you see is desire.

"Doll." his voice sounds rough and dark.

"Bucks." You say and he swallows. You don't want to think, you just want him. So you lean forward again, capturing his lips with yours. Your tongue finds his. Bucky moans softly into the kiss and you swear you've never heard such a hot sound in your life. Your whole body burns with desire for him. The next time you break apart, you don't hesitate. You take his hand and pull him towards his bedroom. You know his apartment as well as yours. You know that behind the door a large bedroom and a neatly made soft bed await you. And that's exactly where you want to go. The bedroom door hasn't fully closed behind you when Bucky quickly threw you onto the bed. You giggle as the mattress bounces slightly, but the next moment Bucky is on top of you and his lips are on yours. You scratch his neck lightly with your nails and he moans softly again. His lips move to your neck and he places kisses there. Immediately you have goosebumps all over you, you tilt your head to the side to give it more space and pray that it doesn't leave any red marks. But you actually don't care. His hand slides under your dress. You push your body towards him.

"Take it off." He says breathlessly in your ear and then kisses your earlobe. You sit up slightly and allow your dress to be pulled over your head. You're lying in front of him in just your underwear, but it doesn't make you uncomfortable. Maybe because you drank too much, maybe because Bucky is your Bucky. "You know you're beautiful." He says, running his hands over your body. You notice the blush rising to your cheeks, but at the same time you want him to keep touching you. You want to feel his hands all over your body. You don't answer him but just kiss him again. This time your hands go under his shirt. You feel the muscles of his back under your fingers. You push the t-shirt higher. Bucky removes his lips from yours and pulls the t-shirt over his head. You have to swallow at the sight of his defined body. You know he's ripped. You've seen him without a shirt countless times, but still. God this man is handsome. Your hands move up his torso, caressing his neck and cheeks. Then you smile and pull him back down to you. His lips automatically find yours for an intense kiss. You feel his body against yours, his weight on top of you and as you wrap your legs around his body you feel his hardness against your core through his jeans and you moan again. This is much better than your imagination. But that's not a fantasy. This is reality. His hands are wandering over your breasts in a very real way. Bucky's hands. Your best friend's hands. Through the lust and the alcohol, a thought suddenly arises. This is your best friend! Your Bucky. You're crossing a line and when that happens you can't go back. Fantasy is one thing but reality is another. You feel panic rising in you and your body tense up. You want to push him away and say stop, but you don't have to. Bucky pulled away from you and looked into your eyes. His eyes are worried over your face.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" he asks worriedly now. You shake your head, your throat is dry and you´re searching for the right words, but your brain is still stuck in a lust-drenched rigidity. Bucky sits up completely, pulling away from you and rubbing his face with both hands. Then he takes a deep breath. You finally manage to speak.

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize for anything."

"We can't Bucky. Oh shit." you pull your legs up to your body, trying to hide your half-naked body from him. Suddenly you feel uncomfortable. You feel tears welling up in your eyes. You're totally confused. Your head can't keep up with your feelings.

"Take it easy. Take a deep breath." His vocie is soft, but worried. You do as he says and then look back at him. You feel guilty and confused. Bucky gets up from the bed, turns to his closet and takes out one of his t-shirts. “Would you like to get dressed?” You nod. He hands you the t-shirt and you pull it over your head. The familiar smell of his detergent and the soft fabric on your skin calm you and you can finally think clearly again.

"I'm sorry." Bucky suddenly says now and you're confused again.

"What?"

"I'm sorry for harassing you. You're drunk and I took advantage of it. I thought you wanted it too."

"I wanted it! Bucky. No! Don't think like that. You didn't take advantage of me. I could say the same thing, you're drunk too." You are silent for a moment.

"Are you all right?" he asks, you can't quite interpret his look, he looks kind of sad, but that doesn't really fit.

"Yes, you?"

"Yes." he tries a smile, but it's a little crooked.

"It might be better if we go to sleep." you suggest. The situation makes you terribly uncomfortable. God, what have you done?

"Yeah, probably. Should I sleep on the couch?"

"Why? Do you want to sleep on the couch?" you've slept next to each other a thousand times. At some point you even developed the habit of cuddling a little before going to sleep.

"No. I just thought in case you needed some distance."

"I never need distance from you. If you want, you can sleep in the bed. Or I can sleep on the couch if you want." It's a strange atmosphere between the two of you, you both want to please the other without either of you really knowing what you want. Bucky sighs, slips out of his jeans and then puts on a fresh t-shirt. Meanwhile, you lie down under the blanket and are careful not to watch him change. Bucky slides into bed next to you.

"Sleep well, doll."

"Sleep well Bucks." Bucky presses the remote control on the nightstand and the light goes off. You lie in the dark and stare at the ceiling. Your thoughts revolve around the whole evening. About your kisses, about the touches. You felt good. You were happy. And it was nice. But that's how you always feel when you're with Bucky. Why is it so different this time? Because you kissed? But that was just for Natasha. That meant nothing. You almost slept with each other. But that's only because you've been making out all evening. Of course, this doesn't leave you unscathed. And you're drunk. You suppress a sigh and close your eyes. Tomorrow everything will be the same as before. Everything will be exactly the same as always! You fall asleep with this thought.

When you wake up, the bed next to you is empty. You turn onto your stomach, bury your face in the pillows and take a deep breath. You don't really feel rested, and one look at the alarm clock on the bedside table tells you why. It's not even 10 A.M. Why is Bucky already awake? You sit up and listen into the apartment, maybe he's taking a shower or something. But instead of the sound of water, you hear quiet voices. Bucky is talking to someone. Steve! You get out of bed faster than you thought you would.

"Bucky, do you really think this is a good idea?" You can hear the two of them talking muffled through the closed door.

"We help Natasha."

"Of course. You're so helpful and not at all selfish." Steve sounds sarcastic. But maybe you're just imagining it, after all you can only hear him faintly through the door. You quickly slip on one of Bucky’s sweaters. It is long enough to reach over your butt so you don't end up only in your underwear in front of Steve and then come out of the bedroom.

"Morning." You say as you step into the kitchen.

"Good morning Doll."

“Good morning Y/N.”

"Morning Steve, what are you doing here?"

"I brought coffee over. My run goes through Buckys street. I didn't know you were here otherwise I would have brought you one too."

"It's fine. Not like Bucks doesn't have a portafilter machine." You turn to the coffee machine and press the button so that the grinder starts grinding the beans.

“You are allowed to touch the holy coffee machine?”

"This is not a coffee machine, this...

"Is an Italian portafilter machine. We know." You and Steve interrupt Bucky at the same time. Bucky sighs but has to suppress a laugh.

"By the way, Tony filmed your smooch yesterday." Steve taps on his phone and the next moment you see you and Bucky making out at the bar. You feel yourself blushing.

"How childish."

"I think we look hot." Bucky says, pushing you by your hip to the sideand, taking the portafilter from your hand to clamp it into the machine and fill it with the freshly ground coffee. You roll your eyes.

"What's Rick like?" Steve then asks to change the subject. Bucky groans and rolls his eyes.

"Annoying."

"Nonsense. He's okay, I think."

"You think?"

"It was one evening and Nat likes him." the next moment your cell phone rings, Natasha. "Creepy." you accept the video call and in the next moment her face appears on your screen. "Good morning Nat." You say, leaning against the kitchen counter while Bucky finishes making your coffee and then fills your cup with oat milk. You know he always buys them especially for you and that makes you smile. God he's just the best.

"Good morning Y/N. I just got home."

"I am not that far yet." you turn the screen once so Nat can see Steve and Bucky, both of them giving her a quick wave. Then you turn the screen over again.

"How surprising." she says without meaning it. " But good I wanted to thank both of you. You really put on a good show yesterday."

“Sure thing, Nat.”

"It wasn't that bad." you kick at Bucky, but he pulls his leg away so you only hit the air.

"You can tell Rick in two weeks that we broke up." you then say back towards the phone.

"About that. He suggested we meet again on Wednesday for dinner. Like a double date." You roll your eyes.

"Nat!"

"I know, but I didn't know how to say no without lying. I don't want to lie to him."

"You should have thought about that beforehand." Steve says now. You give him a dirty look, it's none of his business.

“So Wednesday is fine?” You swipe away from the phone call to look at your calendar, but so far there's nothing scheduled for Wednesday other than work. "For me, yes." Bucky also looks at his cell phone calendar and then nods. "For Bucky too."

"Okay perfect. We were going to this new Italian place around the corner from me."

“That super fancy restaurant?” you ask.

"Yes, exactly." You sigh. Super fancy also means super expensive. A visit there would probably use up your entire going out budget for the month.

"Okay. See you Wednesday then." you say anyway. "Until Wednesday. And thank you again. I really owe you one. Love you."

"Love you. Bye Nat."

"Bye." Bucky and Steve call and than you end the call.

"I invite you, of course." Can Bucky read your mind? You blush slightly, but then nod.

"Thanks."

"Not for that, Doll." You don't actually earn less, but a lot of it goes towards renting your apartment. Natascha lives in one of her parents' apartments, so she doesn't pay rent and her parents also cover her tuition fees. Bucky earns more than you anyway and none of you can come close to Tony. It's not embarrassing that you don't have as much money as your friends, it's just annoying sometimes. You take a sip of your coffee. Buckys machine really is a thousand times better than that old thing in your kitchen.

"So guys. I have to go again. Peggy is waiting at home." Steve pushes his chair back and stands up. "It was nice to see you Y/N. Next time we'll be there again so we can chat longer."

"It was nice to see you too Steve. Love to Peggy."

"I will tell her." He says goodbye to Bucky with their signature handshake and then disappears from the apartment. You're alone with Bucky, you're sober and you suddenly remember your make out session in his bed you had yesterday. Damned. How embarrassing.

"I'm going to take a shower and then be on my way, don't want to bother you any more."

"You don't bother me, Doll. Ever." Bucky says. You try a smile, put down your almost full cup and escape to the bathroom. Maybe you can walk away from this awkward conversation. You're never embarrassed in front of Bucky, he's your best friend. You go through the ups and downs of your life with him, but yesterday. That was different and you don't want to think about it. Damn you were about to fuck him. You briefly go into the bedroom and open the wardrobe. You spend the night here so often that you have your own clothes here, you quickly get some fresh clothes and then disappear to the bathroom. As the hot water flows over your body, you take a deep breath. You try to sort out your thoughts. Everything was good between you right now. It wasn't strange. Everything as always. Or was it just because Steve was there? Should you address the situation yesterday? Or just stay silent and pretend everything is fine? Your mind wanders back to last night, to the feeling of his hands on your body. You quickly shake your head. You really can't use that now. You finish your shower, dry yourself off and change into your fresh clothes. You wrap your hair in a towel and as you step out of the bathroom, Bucky is standing directly in front of you. He was waiting for you.

“I know you Y/N and I know you want to run away, but we need to talk about yesterday.” You swallow. Damned! Were you drunk enough to pretend you didn't remember? No, unfortunately not. "Kitchen. There's breakfast." He says, nodding his head in that direction. You look at the front door, maybe you should just run. You realize how ridiculous this idea is and you admit defeat. You slowly follow him into the kitchen and sit at the table where Bucky has prepared breakfast. You grab a roll and Bucky gives you a fresh coffee. Then he sits down opposite to you. "So yesterday..." he begins, his voice sounds emotionless. You know that voice, that's his working voice. And you know he has a speech prepared. But you don't want to hear it. Everything in you is now reluctant to hear these prepared words. So you interrupt him.

"I think we should just forget about it. We were drunk, made out all night, so it's clear that we're kind of horny." He furrows his eyebrows, you can see that he doesn't like that you interrupted him, but he nods.

"If you want it that way." Now you're confused. You don't like the sentence, something is strange. But you can't quite put your finger on it.

"What do you want?"

Bucky opens his mouth, but he doesn't say anything. He takes a deep breath, looks at his plate and when he looks up again he smiles at you. But you know him too well. That's not his normal smile. It seems forced.

"Let's forget it." he then replies. Even though it was your idea, somewhere deep inside you are hurt. You quickly push the feeling away. You just want it to be like it used to be. It should be like yesterday morning. Before you made out.

"Good." you agree. The rest of breakfast passes in silence. Then you and Bucky clean up the kitchen. Your goodbye is kind of stiff and as you head home you still feel like something isn't right. You would like to call Natasha. She is your best friend. Normally you would call her now and talk to her about every second of last night. But Bucky is her ex-boyfriend. Yes, it was a long time ago. Yes, they're both obviously over it. Still, something inside you is resisting. You don't call her.

You don't hear from Bucky all weekend. That's not normal. But you don't call him either. Did you really ruin your friendship? God, what have you done? You just wanted to help Natasha. You spend the whole Sunday thinking about whether you should call her or not. But you don't. You know that Sundays are completely reserved for her studying and you don't want to disturb her. You're also embarrassed by the situation. Did you handle it wrong? Should you have listened to Bucky's speech? What is he really thinking? For the first time in almost three years, you feel like you don’t know what Bucky is really thinking. You don't feel like doing anything this Sunday. Bored, you lie on your sofa and stare at the switched off television. You tried to watch something, but it didn't interest you. You aren´t hungry all day, so you don´t eat anything ecept an slice of bread. Are you so old that a hangover lasts two days? Well actually you didn't drink enough to even have a hangover. You didn't even have a headache yesterday. You keep reaching for your phone, thinking about calling Bucky. But you don´t. You miss him. It feels like you had an argument. But you don't have. Or? Why can't you just call him? Because you're afraid it's weird. But it's weird already. God. What have you done? On Sunday evening, a few tears roll down your cheek before you fall asleep.

Monday morning comes too quickly and when your alarm goes off you briefly consider if you should call in sick. But that doesn't work. You still have way too much to do. So you get up, get dressed and head to work. You're just slumping into your office chair when your phone beeps. Bucky wrote you a message. Your stomach tightens. What's that supposed to mean? This is your best friend! Pull yourself together. You pick up your phone and open the message. "Call later? Work until 5." "Gladly." You answer, but you don't know what you want to say to him. What does he want? Since when has he been asking for phone calls? Usually he just calls. God you need to talk to someone. But you're so embarrassed by the whole situation. You've long since ruled out talking to Natasha about it. Wanda? No, she wouldn't really have any good advice for you. Wanda has fallen in love with every guy she has kissed so far. She loves the dream of true love. And with Vision she lives out this dream. Peggy? No, she's more Bucky's friend than yours. You sigh as you realize your last option. Tony. You need more friends. Nevertheless, you reach for your cell phone and call him.

"What gives me the honor?" he answers it after a short moment.

“Do you have anything planned during your lunch break?”

"My whole life is a lunch break." You already regret calling him and sigh. Tony must have heard you because his voice suddenly becomes serious. "What's up?"

"I have something to discuss."

"And why not with Nat?"

"Not an option."

"You're making me really curious. So lunch break. I'll pick you up at your office."

"Thanks Tony."

"See you later." After the phone call, you try to concentrate on your work but things are going slowly. You're happy when Tony writes you a message and says he's standing in front of the building. You quickly grab your things and your jacket, say goodbye to your colleagues for your break and go to the elevator. Tony knows well not to come inside your office. People treat you differently once they know you're friends with him. You noticed that clearly at your last job. As you leave the building, Tony is standing in front of you with a to-go box from his favorite Italian restaurant. You walk a little way to the nearby park, sit down at a fountain and start eating.

"So why did you want to talk so badly?" he asks curiously.

"It's because of Bucky."

"What about Bucky?"

"We kissed."

"I know. I filmed it."

"No. I mean after. In his apartment. In his bedroom. Half naked." Tony starts laughing.

“You guys fucked?”

"No! Almost, then we stopped and it's been weird ever since."

"Have you talked about it?"

"Just briefly. He had prepared a speech but I didn't let him finish and then we said let's forget it, everything is as usual. But I haven't heard from him since then, until this morning. He wants to call later."

Tony sighs and thinks a moment. “Did you stop or did he?”

"I. Why?"

"Then it's quite clear. Y/N. If a beautiful woman like you pushed me off the edge of the bed, I would also have a bruised ego."

“You think this is an ego thing?”

"I am very sure." You are relieved. So you haven't lost your friendship with him after all. "He'll probably only need a few days and then everything will be as before. Don't worry so much."

"Easier said than done. You know I'm an overthinker."

"And a people pleaser."

"Thanks." You say, rolling your eyes. Tony winks at you.

"How was it?"

"What?"

"Your almost fuck of course."

"Tony!" You say, slapping his arm.

"What? You wanted my advice and I just want my fair reward."

“Oh, your advice now comes with conditions?”

"Always have."

"And you wonder why no one asks you for advice. Oh yes, that was because of your character." Tony looks at you in shock for a moment and then starts laughing out loud.

"Good one. I'm proud." You rolled your eyes again. "So do I get the spicy details now or not?"

"No."

"It was worth a try." he then laughs.

"I hope everything goes well on the phone call." you then say and chew on your noodles.

"I'm sure. Otherwise, sit down together at the weekend and discuss everything calmly. Making out isn't the end of the world."

"Well we have to have everything sorted out by Wednesday at the latest."

"What's on Wednesday?"

"A fake double date with Nat and Rick."

Tony rolls his eyes. "I can't stand the guy."

"You just don't like him because he's not Bruce."

"That's not true!" Tony's look turns sad and you know he's thinking about his old lab partner. But he was so much more than that. Tony's best friend, Natasha's first love. You shake your head. You don't want to think about what happened to him, neither of you saw it coming. From one day to the next he was gone, and everything was different. You regret saying his name. Tony takes a deep breath.

"This is far too serious for me." You reach for his hand and try an encouraging smile. Tears gather in Tony's eyes, but he quickly blinks them away. "I miss him."

"I miss him too." You say. Tony takes a few deep breaths and then manages to smile again. He removes his hand from yours and claps his hands.

"You have to go back to the office." he then changes the subject.

"Are you sure?" Now you don't want to leave him alone.

"Yeah. I'll be fine. But I want an update tonight, your drama is much better than mine." You roll your eyes slightly, but you're glad that his low mood has been averted.

"You will get it." you say, getting up and throwing the empty food box into the nearest trash.

"Don't worry so much. Everything will be fine. Trust me, I'm a genius."

"But that doesn't mean you can see the future."

"Right, I can't do that yet. But I'm a man, just like James. Give him a little time until he realizes that his ego is getting in his way and everything is as usual." You want to believe him. And why should he be wrong?

"Thanks Tony. That really helped me."

"You´re welcome." He says, smiling genuinely at you. You hug each other goodbye and you head back to the office. After the conversation you can concentrate much better, you even manage to prepare everything for your project presentation. And that without overtime. You come home on time and put on comfortable clothes. You've just sat down on the couch with a cup of coffee when your cell phone rings. Bucky. You quickly answer your cell phone. "Hello."

"Hello." and then you both remain silent. Tears come to your eyes, maybe everything won't be okay after all. You hear Bucky take a deep breath. "I'm sorry. This is weird. It's weird between us." he speaks faster than you are used to from him.

"Yes, it is."

"I didn't want it like that. Never. And I know that in my bedroom was shit and that we didn't talk properly was shit too. I fucked up."

"No. When someone screwed up than it is me. I didn't let you finish on Saturday and left as soon as I could. I know it's only Monday but I miss you Bucks. It's so unusual for me not to talk to you for so long."

"It's unusual for me too. I miss you too." A ring at the front door makes you jump. "Will you open the door for me?" You quickly jump up from the sofa and open the door for him. You're so relieved to see him that you fall straight into his arms. You know that the last time you saw each other was only two days ago and that this dependence on your best friend is neither normal nor healthy, but you don't care about that at this moment. You're just happy to be able to hold him in your arms again. This time it doesn't feel strange, it feels right. You let him into your apartment and he throws keys and wallet into the small bowl on the dresser next to your door. Everything as usually. Then he puts his jacket aside and you sit together on your sofa.

"You wanted to say more to Saturday right?" you finally manage to gather enough courage to face the situation.

"Yeah, I thought about something before Steve came."

“Do you still want to say it now?” Bucky looks at you for a while, he seems to be thinking. Then he begins to speak.

"I wanted to say that I don't want our friendship to be affected by this little make out session. That nothing is as important to me as our friendship." he stops, takes a deep breath and looks around the room. But then his eyes find yours again, his look is serious. "But that's a lie." A hot burning sensation forms in your stomach. What? Before you can say anything, before you can even understand what he said, he's already talking again. "It's a lie Y/N. I've known this for a while. I don't know how many times I've talked to Steve about it. It's probably getting on his nerves terribly. But whatever, that's not the topic right now. I I really wanted to come here and tell you that everything is as usual but I can't. I don't want to. I don't want to keep lying. Shit. Kissing you, holding you in my arms, being allowed to touch you in front of everyone, This is all I've ever wanted. You're all I've ever wanted. I only had this for one evening but I can't go back. I'm driving myself crazy to think that none of this was real on your part. I love you. I love you for so long. I know you don't feel that way but I can't carry on like this. I'm sorry." You sit on your sofa and stare at him in shock. Did he really just say that? Your thoughts start racing. Everything has changed since the weekend and yet everything is somehow the same. You think about how you feel being around Bucky. Nobody makes you feel so comfortable. With him you can be completely you. You enjoy the closeness you have with him. Every hug. Every time you watch a movie together and cuddle. Every time you fall asleep in his arms. You can talk to him about anything. You can talk about the same thing a thousand times and he wouldn't complain. When you're with him you don't have to pretend. He saw you at your lowest points and helped you out. You saw him at his lowest points and built him back up. You always thought he was your soulmate, but platonic. Maybe your relationship isn't as platonic as you thought. You didn't see him for 2 days, thought you had lost him and felt like your whole world had collapsed. Have you ever felt that way about one of your friends? No of course not. You almost laughed at your own stupidity. How could you not realize that you love him? You lean in and place your lips on his. The feeling is so strange and at the same time so familiar. Bucky kisses you for a moment and then pulls away.

"Don't please. Don't do this because you think you have to." he swallows a few times, tears glistening in his eyes.

"I love you." You say. Now it's him who looks at you in shock.

"As your best friend?" he then asks uncertainly. Uncertain. Also a word that you wouldn't have associated with Bucky until today.

"No. I thought so. I thought you were my best friend. But that's not true. You're so much more. I love you Bucky and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner. I'm sorry we had to go through that drama. I'm sorry it took a fucking fake relationship for me to understand that I love you." you laugh and at the same time tears stream down your cheeks. How could you be so stupid? Now it's Bucky who leans in and kisses you. You wrap your arms around him, close your eyes and enjoy the kiss. He starts to laugh in the kiss and you laugh too.

"We're really stupid." He says, stroking your cheek.

"Yes." you take his hand and intertwine your fingers with his. Your whole body is flooded with happiness. “So no more fake relationships?”

"No. No more fake." he kisses you again and then pulls you onto his lap in one quick movement. You put your arms around his neck and hug him.

"I love you." you repeat, how could you ever not say it to him?

"I love you."

Bucky stays with you, but you don´t get any further than the couch. You're too busy making out and laughing at your own stupidity.

"Steve will be happy, now I won't bother him anymore."

"I should probably apologize to him." You say while scratching his neck. Bucky is laying across your couch with his head in your lap. You've been like this thousands of times, but this time it's different. It's much better.

"I could have said something sooner."

"Why didn `t you?"

"I was afraid of losing you. I felt like a schoolboy falling in love for the first time. At first I thought it was just a phase, but it became more and more. When we kissed in the kitchen on Friday, I almost lock you up here and never let you out again." You start laughing and roll your eyes.

"Charming."

"Always." Your phone rings and you both jump. To be honest, you've forgotten that the world outside your apartment still exists. Bucky turns his head to the side to see who is calling you. "Why is Tony calling you so late?" He sits up and looks at you from the side, there is something in his gaze that you don't yet know. Jealousy.

"Why is my friendship with Tony suddenly a problem?" you ask confused, you've never seen him jealous before.

"It´s not " he says quickly. "I was just wondering why he was calling you so late."

"Are you jealous?"

"Yes." he says openly. "I know I shouldn't, but I am."

"You've never been jealous before."

"I was jealous of every man near you. I just didn't let you see it." he confesses to you.

“Then why now?” you ask, you're not mad at him because he's jealous. It flatters you a little to be honest.

"Because you're mine now." he says smiling. You grinned at him, leaned in and kissed him. Your cell phone stops ringing.

"I went on a lunch break today and asked him for advice because of you. I was afraid I would have destroyed our friendship. But he said you only had a scratch ego because I didn´t sleep with you and everything will be back to normal in a few days."

"He was wrong."

"Yes he was. He wants an update from our phone call." You have to laugh at the thought of how everything has changed in just a few hours, everything has become so much better.

"Then call him back." grins Bucky. You pick up your phone from the table and press call back. The next moment Tony's face appears on your phone screen.

“And was I right or was I right?” he asks into the phone without greeting. "Has Mr. Ego recovered?" Before you can answer, Bucky slides into the Screen.

"Mr. Ego?" Tony winces.

"Dude. You know I hate jump scares." You start laughing again. “What are you doing at Y/N’s house so late?” Why does he have to be so nosy? You and Bucky exchange a quick look. And you know you think the same thing. Why lie? Why keep something that feels so beautiful and so right secret?

"I'm spending time with my girlfriend." Bucky replies.

"GIRLFRIEND?" Tony screams into the phone and you hold the phone away. You didn't expect such a sudden outburst of emotions from him.

"Yep." you say. Tony starts laughing uproariously.

"I didn't expect that."

"Always good for a surprise."

"I'm happy for you and I said you look good together. "

"Thanks Tony."

"Then I won't bother you any further."

"We haven't told anyone else yet." You say quickly before Tony tells everyone the news.

"I'm quiet, don't worry, lovebirds."

*

Tuesday morning you would like to call in sick again, but this time for a different reason. Bucky kisses your cheeks as light as a feather, his beard tickles slightly and his hands stroke your hips under your t-shirt. Or more likely under one of his old t-shirts that you wear to sleep. "I have to get up and take a shower. Otherwise I'll be late." you laugh but kiss him again. You don't want to get up. You would much rather spend the whole day here in bed with him.

"Then be late."

"Then I'll be fired."

"Doesn't matter." his lips find your neck and he kisses you. You bite your lip to keep from moaning. You gather all your self-control and push him away from you.

"I have to work." He grimaces, sighs, and then rolls off of you.

"You're right as always." You quickly climb out of the soft bed before you change your mind and head towards the bathroom. You definitely need a shower after last night. A look at the clock tells you that you have still enough time. Thank god.

"Are you coming?" you call into the bedroom.

"What?"

"Showering." You hear him jump out of bed and the next moment he's in the bathroom with you. His lips on yours again. You start to laugh, but when his hands go under your sleep shorts you moan.

*

You stand in front of your closet and tilt your head to the side. Then you look back at the picture Natasha sent you of her outfit and back into your closet. You don't quite have the right outfit, so you'll be a little underdressed. You get dressed, do your make-up and your hair. Just as you're done, the doorbell rings. A happy smile spreads across your face and your heart flutters. Bucky. You quickly open the door.

"You look great." You say, he is wearing a dark shirt and pants. But he's rolled up his sleeves and you have to swallow when you look at his muscular underarms. When did you become a horny teenager?

"That's my text Doll." He says and kisses you. "Here for you." he pulls out a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. You beam at him.

"Thanks. That wouldn't have been necessary."

"It's our first real date. Unfortunately we have to spend it with Rick, but still." You hit him on the upper arm. He and Tony could really open a we-hate-rick club. And that even though they don´t really know him. He kisses your cheek. You take the flowers and look for a vase in the kitchen. You fill it with water and place the flowers on the table in the living room so that they get enough light. Then you turn in a circle in front of Bucky so he can see you from all sides.

"And are you going out with me like that?" He grabs your hips and pulls you close.

"I would love to stay here with you like this." You start laughing, biting your bottom lip and looking at him with wide eyes.

"And then?"

"Stop it." he pushes you away from him, laughing. "But something is missing." he then says seriously again. You turn to the mirror and examine your outfit and make-up. Does he not like it? Maybe other shoes? Or another make-up? "I can hear you thinking." you turn back to Bucky, he is standing in front of you with a mischievous grin. "That's missing." He pulls out of his trouser pocket a silver chain set with small sparkling stones.

"Oh Bucks. No. I can't accept that." you say. You don't want him to give you anything. He's already taking you to an overly expensive restaurant today.

"Yes you can." He comes behind you and pushes your hair to the side to put the necklace on you. His hands then stroke your bare shoulders and he presses a kiss to your shoulder blade.

"It is too much."

"It's not. Otherwise, consider it a gift for your promotion." You start laughing.

“I didn’t get promoted.” Your presentation went really well yesterday and your boss put you in charge of the project. Normally you are only responsible for the preparation and then have to hand everything over. This is a great opportunity for you. Of course Bucky was the first person you called afterwards.

“You get more money?”

"Correct."

"And more responsibility?"

"Yes."

"Sounds like a promotion to me."

"But my job title remains the same."

"Formalities." You sigh but smile at him. You are so full of happiness that you can't believe it yourself.

"Thanks Bucky. For the flowers, for the necklace. For you. Just thank you."

"You don't have to thank Y/N. You make me so happy."

"You make me happy." You kiss him and fold your arms behind his neck. Bucky smiles against your lips. Then he breaks away from you.

"Come on now, Doll. Otherwise we'll be late."

"You're right." You say, turning around and reaching for your bag. Bucky slaps your ass lightly in the next moment. You gasp in mock outrage. "Stop it." He clicks his tongue and grins.

"Don't pretend you didn´t like it." You roll your eyes, laugh, and then head for the door. How grown up. You meet Nat and Rick in front of the restaurant, so Bucky came to you with his car, he parked right in front of your apartment and of course he has a parking ticket stuck to the windshield. He takes it off as he walks around the car to open the door for you. You collapse into the comfortable leather seat and Bucky throws the ticket to the others.

"At some point they'll take away your driver's license."

"Nonsense. I pay my traffic tickets diligently." You roll your eyes and he starts the engine. "And even if I do, you can drive me around."

"I don't have a driver's license." You've lived in New York your whole life. So why get a driving license?

"I know." he merges into the traffic and you arrive at the restaurant on time. You reach for the door handle, but Bucky lightly pecks your side. "Wait." He gets out, comes around the car and opens the door for you.

"Gentleman."

"Always. I'm just the perfect boyfriend." He really is. You started to worry if things would be different between you now, but they aren't. He's still your Bucky except he's also your boyfriend. Bucky hands the key to the valet-parking and you look down the street to see where Nat and Rick are. You feel yourself getting nervous. You haven't told Nat about your relationship with Bucky. You've only been together for three days. Still, something like that is actually something you tell her straight away. But he is still her ex-boyfriend. It seems forbidden to you. Your best friend's ex-boyfriend is normally absolutely taboo. You're sure she won't be mad but still. It makes you nervous. Bucky places a hand on your back. "What is it?"

"I didn't tell Nat." He knows exactly what you mean, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Because you're unsure if it'll hold?"

"No!" you say quickly. "No, not at all. It's just you're her ex." Bucky rolls his eyes.

“Hardly worth mentioning.”

"I know, I know. Still, I have no idea why I tink like that. I want to tell her. But I haven't had the chance yet. And now I can´t because Rick is with us. I'll tell her tomorrow."

"Take all the time you need, Doll." he kisses your cheek and smiles. Then you see Natasha and Rick come around the next corner. Your best friend looks stunningly beautiful as always. But her face looks a little tense. She doesn't hold Rick's hand either. The two walk stiffly next to each other. "Looks like a crisis." A mean grin appears on Bucky's face. You hit him lightly in the stomach with your elbow. "Ouch."

"That didn't hurt."

"It could have ."

“But it didn’t.” you suppress a grin.

"I'm sorry you had to wait." Natasha greets you and pulls you into a tight hug. Then she hugs Bucky too while you greet Rick with a smile and a handshake. Bucky just nods at him.

"No problem, we just arrived." you say. You go inside the restaurant and, thanks to your reservation, you are taken straight to a table. Bucky pulls the chair back for you and you grin at him as he sits down next to you. He immediately grabs your hand and you interlace your fingers together. Natasha and Rick sit across from you and the waitress brings the menus. You notice that there are no prices on your menu and you're kind of glad that you don't know how much this costs.

"How was your presentation?" Nat asks.

"Good. Really good. I can lead the project until the end." you answer her, feeling a little proud of yourself.

"That's great Y/N. I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks." Natasha smiles at you, suddenly her eyes go to your neck. Did Bucky leave a hickey? No he didn't. You checked as you put on your dress. The necklace. Nat knows all your jewelry so she knows it's new. But she doesn't say anything. You continue to talk. It's much quieter in the restaurant than in the bar on the weekend, so you get to know Rick a little better. With each of his answers, Bucky seems to likes him less and you also find it a little difficult to find similarities between him and Nat. He has other hobbies, isn't interested in environmental protection like Natasha is, and he is showing off a little too much for your taste. But Natasha must like him, not you. You notice a tense atmosphere between Nat and Rick, but maybe you're just imagining it. Before dessert you excuse yourself to the toilet.

"I'm coming with you." says Natasha. Bucky gives you both a pleading look. You press a kiss to his cheek.

"Be nice." you whisper silently.

"A new necklace?" Natasha asks when you reach the toilets.

"Yes from Bucks."

"He gives you jewelry?" she asks, surprised and confused.

"Yes, because my presentation went so well." She doesn't believe you. Of course not. You don't believe yourself. You desperately want to tell her, but now is neither the right time nor the right place. You both quickly go to the toilets. "What about you and Rick?" you ask as you wash your hands. Nat rolls his eyes.

"So obvious?"

"Yes."

"We argue a bit. But that's normal." She tells herself, you notice that immediately.

"Yes, it is." you still agree with her. You wish her that she can finally be happy again. And arguments in a relationship are normal!

"What do you think of him?"

"He's nice. I've spoken to him a bit more now than I did at the weekend."

“Just nice?”

"Well, yes. Very nice. But it is only important what you think." You go back to your table, from far away you see Bucky and Rick having a staring contest. Bucky doesn't even blink.

"Bucky hates him." Natasha says and sights.

"He doesn't know him."

"And he doesn't try to get to know him." You don't know what to say because she's right so you just sigh. You come back to the table and you immediately reach for Bucky’s hand again. He smiles, but doesn't take his eyes off Rick. How grown up. You feel Natasha kick Bucky under the table. He doesn't flinch, but he looks over at her and smiles.

"Who wants dessert?" he asks without making a face and waves the waiter over. Natasha's eyes cast daggers at him. You bite your cheek to suppress a laugh.

You complete the last half hour of the dinner and as you sit in Bucky's passenger seat you breathe a sigh of relief. Dinner was tiring. Rick is exhausting.

"I'll be honest, I hate him." Bucky says and puts on his turn signal. You sigh.

"He won't become my favorite person." you half agree with him. The car starts moving and you press the button to roll down the window. The warm car air mixes with the even warmer city air and you blow a strand of hair from your forehead. Bucky looks at you and smiles.

"You're beautiful."

"Look at the street." You say, but his compliment gives butterflies in your stomach and makes you blush.

"To me or do you want to go home?" he asks.

"To you." you answer him. "Or do you want an evening alone?"

"I don't know if I'll ever want an evening to myself again when the alternative is an evening with you."

*

The next afternoon you stand nervously outside Natasha's lecture hall. It's her last one for the day, you know that. You got off work early today, went to university and bought bad coffee for you and Nat at the street stand. You definitely have to tell her today. The necklace made her suspicious, you know that and you want to tell her. Why should you be afraid of her reaction? You know yourself that it is irrational. The doors open and a bunch of students stream outside. You recognize Natasha's red head of hair straight away and start waving. When she sees you she is surprised. You didn't tell her you were coming to pick her up. She comes to you and you hug.

"Hey Y/N. What are you doing here?" she asks as you hand her the coffee, which is probably cold by now.

"Picking you up." You leave the building. Natasha is skeptical, you can tell by her look.

"What's bothering you?" you ask as you make your way towards her apartment.

"What makes you think something is bothering me?" you ask.

"You were a bit strange at dinner and now you're picking me up from university?" You sigh. Why does she know you so well?

"Something happened." Natasha looks at you worried. "On Friday." you don't really know how to start. You can't find the right words. You sigh. There's no point in talking around it. "On Friday night when I was at Bucky's we kissed and almost slept with eachother." Natasha furrows her eyebrows and then starts to laugh.

"God Y/N, you look like you just told me that my grandma died. It's all good. Did you think I was mad? Not because of that. Bucky and I broke up years ago." You're relieved to hear that, but you haven't said everything yet. "If you want to sleep with him then go for it. From what I remember he's really good." Nat puts an arm around your shoulder and grins at you from the side.

"I know." She stumbles in her movement.

"Y/N. Tell me the whole story! Now." she demands. Now you don't know if she's mad or not. Her face reveals nothing. You sigh and tear off the patch.

"We talked about it briefly on Saturday and I said I wanted to forget it. Bucky was weird and we didn't talk at all on Sunday. I wanted to call you but I know you're studying on Sunday and I was so embarrassed and scared that you're mad because he's your ex.."

"If you call him my ex-boyfriend again I'll scream. I'm over it, he's over it. We're friends!" She interrupts and you bite your lip.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you."

"You're always apologizing for something. But you haven't said for what yet."

"Yeah, I know. I... I.... Oh fuck it. Bucky came over on Monday and confessed to me that he loves me and then I realized that I love him too and now we're together. A real couple. A real relationship." you talk so fast that you're gasping for air by the time you finish. Nat just looks at you for a moment. Fear rises within you. Is she angry after all?

"Yes. Oh my God. How could I be so blind. Of course."

"What ?" you are completely confused. Natasha pulls you into a tight hug. She doesn't care that you're standing in the middle of the sidewalk and people are bumping into you and cursing at you.

"I was thinking. How could I not notice. You're both my best friends and I didn't realize you were into each other. I feel stupid."

"Well, I didn't notice it myself." You say, shrugging your shoulders. "I just thought Bucky and I were really good friends." Natasha starts laughing and you join in. "You are not mad?"

"No. Not at all. I'm happy for you. And for him. Really."

"Thanks Nat. I was really scared." Nat tilts his head slightly and sighs.

"I'm always your best friend. No matter what happens." You smile at her. "Come on, we'll be at my place in a moment and then I want to hear every little detail about this love confession. It must have been really good." You laugh briefly and then let her drag you along to her apartment.

*

Natascha's message comes on Friday afternoon as you are leaving your office and looking forward to a relaxing weekend. You're planning on going to your grandma's with Bucky tomorrow morning. Also because, unlike you, he has a car and you don't have to take the train. And of course because you want to introduce him to your grandma as your new boyfriend. Your mother would be there too. Natasha's message changes your plans. At least when it comes to leaving early. "Girls' night. Today I have vodka and ice cream. Nothing else." You furrow your eyebrows and know that something must have happened. Voda and ice cream is Nat's recipe for broken hearts. You quickly answer her that you will be with her in 2 hours. Then you dial Bucky's number.

"Hey doll."

"Hey Bucks. I have to cancel our DVD night."

"What happened?" he asks, slightly worried.

"Nat demanded a girls' night .An ice cream with vodka problem."

" Sounds serious."

"I don't know yet. Is that okay with you?"

"Of course, totally fine. We've seen each other every evening this week, now it´s Nat's turn. Should I pick you up tomorrow morning and we'll drive straight to your grandma's?"

"Sounds perfect. Thanks Bucky, you're the best."

"I know. Have a nice evening. I love you."

"I love you." The words come so easily from your lips that you wonder how you couldn't have realized that you love him. God you are so stupid. You hang up and head home. There you put on some comfortable clothes, pack a few things and head straight back to Natashas apartment. When you arrive, Peggy opens the door for you. You look at her surprised and pleased.

"You live." you grin and throw your arms around her neck. She laughs and presses herself against you.

"I missed you too."

"Are you feeling better?" you ask and have to suppress a grin because you know exactly why she was “sick” for so long.

"Yes, much better. Thanks." You put your bag down and walk through the long hallway to Nat's living room. She has already pushed the couch aside and laid out blankets and pillows in front of the huge television. Wanda sits on the floor next to Natasha. You greet them both with a hug and then collapse next to them.

"I ordered you a spinach pizza." Peggy says as she sits down next to you.

"Thanks. What happened Nat?" Your best friend wrinkles her nose. She has no make-up on and her eyes are bloodshot. She had cried.

"Rick and I broke up." You and Wanda exchange a quick look after Nats words. Then you turn to her.

"Oh what a shame."

"I'm sorry for that."

"You fit together so well."

"Fucking liars! None of you liked him and Peggy didn't even know him." she starts laughing and then crying. And then both at the same time. You quickly hug her and Wanda and Peggy also wrap her arms around her so it becomes a group hug. Natasha cries for a while and then takes a long sip from her vodka bottle. The smell alone makes you sick. Nat takes a few deep breaths. "Now it's proven Bruce was my last love." she says sadly.

"No! Nat. He was your first love but definitely not your last." you contradict her.

"Yes, exactly." agrees Peggy.

"But then why didn't it work again?"

"Because Rick was an ass?" Wanda suggests. "

"He just wasn't right for you."

"But at some point the right one comes along." Peggy adds.

Natasha looks at all of you and then smiles. "Thanks." She says and then wipes away her tears. "Enough crying about Rick."

"Exactly men are not worth our tears." you say. Nat laughs briefly.

"It doesn't sound honest coming from you. You're in love head over heels."

"Nat!"

Wanda looks at you in surprise, but you know from Peggy's grin that she already knows. Steve is such a gossip girl.

"You have a boyfriend? Since when and who?" Wanda asks.

"Since Monday." you answer, smiling. "Bucky." "

I knew you were too convincing. Best friends never make out like that." she exclaims. You start laughing.

"We're drinking now." Natasha decides and holds up the vodka bottle. Wanda reaches past her for a few glasses and juice. Unlike Nat, none of you like straight vodka. Natasha shares her bottle of vodka with you and when she hands the cup to Peggy you swallow. Oh no. .

"I can't." says Peggy.

"Why not? It's girls' night."

Peggy takes a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

"WHAT?" shouts Wanda.

"Oh my God."

"How surprising." You say, looking to the side because you can't suppress a grin.

"Are we happy?" Natasha asks uncertainly.

"Yes, we are happy. We are very happy." Peggy replies, laughing. This time it's her who gets a group hug. "And Y/N don't pretend. Bucky has known since day one and I'm sure you've known since day two. You suck at lying." Peggy says after you break away from the hug and lightly pushes you on the shoulder.

"He kept quiet until last week. I swear."

“So just juice for Peggy,” says Natasha and makes her another glass. "We'll toast anyway. To the first love and the last love." You toast and drink. To first love and last love. A nice toast actually.

*

You sprint out of your office. You're way too late and you hate yourself for it. But you couldn't leave earlier, your project is going well but a few things had to be finished today. You are responsible, so you take personal care. As you walk through the streets you rummage through your pocket for your cell phone. You actually wanted to go home after work, but then you would be even later for the dinner with your friends. You meet in 10 minutes and you are still 30 minutes away from the restaurant. You call Bucky.

"I just left the office." You say breathlessly as he answer the call.

"I thought so, I'm already on my way to the others. Should I come pick you up?"

"No, no. Then you will drive past the restaurant, I'm just a little late. But I'll hurry up."

"Take it easy, Doll. Take a deep breath. Being late isn't the end of the world."

"But it's rude." "

I bet you you'll get there before Tony and because he and Pepper invited us out you'll be on time."

"It doesn´t work like that." you laugh, but your steps slow down a little.

"It works exactly the way we want it to. Now breathe in and out deeply." You do what he says. "Better?"

"Much better. Why are you so perfect?" Bucky laughs quietly.

"I've waited for us for so long. I'm doing my best now." Your heart flutters at his words.

"You're perfect. The perfect boyfriend. I love you."

"I love you too. I'll see you soon, Doll."

"See you soon." Unfortunately, when you arrive at the restaurant, Pepper and Tony are already there. You are the last and the only one still wearing your work clothes. "I'm so sorry guys. I was stuck at work."

"It's okay Y/N. Don't stress. It's nice that you make it." Pepper smiles at you. She only came back two days ago. That's why you're eating together this Thursday. And this time you are complete again since a long time. You hug Pepper.

"Good to see you." You say and greet the others before you sit down next to Bucky and press a kiss on his lips.

"Hey Bucks." you say.

"Hey, Doll. See, I say being late isn't a bad thing."

"Why do you act like you're together when Rick and Nat have broken up?" Vision asks confused and looks between you and Bucky.

"Oh shit, I forgot to tell you." Wanda says, slapping her hand on her forehead. You all start laughing. Yes, maybe everything is different now, but somehow the same.

[twopoppies]

When reading origin stories (idk why this topic popped up again but I love to read those stories), I would like to add mine. To be honest, this is not my first time when fandom shipped two bandmates and there are even (smut) fanfics about them. Back in 2006 I was a massive fan of My Chemical Romance and it was the first time when I experienced a ship of two bandmates. Idk why but many MCR fans shipped singer Gerard Way with guitarist Frank Iero aka Frerard. Like back then I found it cute - that´s probably where my love for gays started because I found myself hot when I back in the day I saw photos and videos of two emo boys makingout lol - and I was into it eventho IIRC there wasn´t any real evidence of their supposed romance than when one kissed the second one. I also remember reading few Frerard fics but maybe they were just badly written but they were nowhere near larry fics I am reading now when talking about quality. So I just found this whole ship as a cute part of being a MCR fan and I forgot about it as soon as I stopped being a fan around 2008 and even both Gerard and Frank got married to women and having kids with them. I found it like a silly fan experience when you´re fangirling over two guys who you find hot at that moment but without any real evidence. So when my cousin came to me - former het solo harrie - with words "What do you think about Larry?" I immediatelly dismissed her to tell me anything about it. Because Frerard immediatelly popped in my mind, my whole teenage experience around it and so I went straight to tell her "Please, don´t even start with it, I´ve been there too when I was literally your age, shipping two guys I found hot. I saw on tumblr there are this group of fans who ship H with his bandmate but I don´t want to dive into this ship because I´ve been there once and I find this whole two bandmades shipping bs". BUT THEN... ...few months later Brits happend where drunk H went off stage in the middle of his speech to softly kiss Lewis Capaldi and later literally threw himself on Stanley Tucci looking like he´s obsessed with him and making it everyone´s problem. So I started to think he might not be just straight. And month later the very same cousin made me go to the cinema to see AOTV and eventho while watching it I totally ate the narrative that F is Louis´ son thinking he´s just his oopsie baby, so after we were travelling home I was like "Okay, show me those videos of H and Louis". And then I came here and.... I stayed.

Hahaha! I love reading these journeys—-especially the little things that tipped people over the edge.

[alarrytale]

I´m still holding my breath and hope I´m wrong but after I saw that another video from festival of OD and H, my hope that she won´t be a new stunt is slowly fading. Because no matter that they friendzoned her in tabloids, that video looks like a stunt´s soft launch to me and now just waiting the the oopsie fans sighting of them on the streets of London to drop within a week or two. Not like it´s something we can do about it but honestly I´m feeling really tired of all of this, his fake image, the fact that he can´t be stunt free for at leat an year, the fact that few months ago TR was the endgame and 3 months after bua H is spotted with another woman exactly the same way as he was spotted with TR first time (no way we could recognized her but they made us sure it was her and nobody else), making his efford to "support" her (with TR he went to see her play like 3 times and now with OD he attended festival where she was playing and later stood next to her in a tend watching Sam Smith). And if she´s really his new stunt, what happend to her long term bf? She suddenly dumped him just to be with H? I mean, it doesn´t bring good light at her at all, does it?

Also you know what? Maybe it´s just me conspiracing and looking too deep into things but remember that photo of H with his "the more I know men" tshirt? He also had a cap with sign "Don´t worry, be happy". Do you think he might be signalling us? Like telling us "yeah, new stunt is coming, but here´s my gay tshirt and don´t worry cap because it´s just another stunt"

Hi, anon!

I'm tired too. So stunt fatigued. I don't think her real bf matters in this. They keep him out of this narrative, like they do with Louis who is Harry's partner. Plenty of H's beards/PR relationships have had a real boyfriends while they were stunting with Harry. So bfs never really matter.

Maybe H is signalling and maybe he's not. The stunt jacket is sign enough. Pretending that everything will be alright, when they're doing it for the 89th time? I don't care for it if that's the case. I'd rather he'd stop doing it at all.

[confundida25]

We did it! we reach 100+ fics

Clanleadership or AdamanxIrida as you prefer has reach 100 fics on AO3, we are oficialy out of the super small fandom sphere.

So to celebrate it, this is a list of recomendation of my favorites Kai.Irida/Seki.Adaman tag on AO3

First shut up to Inkytty88 who had writte no one, no two but 15 fics about clanleadership, outstanding, amazing, kuddos for you.

My favorite fic of her is Blooming with every flower a sweet story about Hanahaki Disease and i should mention loves comes from ilusions because is a 9 chapter long multichapter that is complete and just really good

About last night by IlikeShorts

This is a one shot about Irida returning from a trip and Adaman welcoming her back, with all the warden of the daimond clan give him a hard time about his behavior. Its really funny and surprisely endearing.

Before time stop by Alliework

This is the most popular fic in the tag, with more than 300 kudos, and for a reason, because is GOOD. Adaman and Irida work together for 15 chapters to close some dimensional fisures, but that is not what matter, what matter is Alliework incredible caractherization and slow burn, like... the description of Irida feelings and how they grown over time, chef kiss, go and give it more kudos because totally deserv it.

The things we spill and share by snowflight

I cried reading this wonderful dark reinterpretation of Hisue, this is a what if the clans were actuall enemies. English is not my first lenguage and i often struggle to not repeat words and sound natural, i must tell you, snowflight don´t have this problem, i often stop at the midlle of sentence thinking, wow, that´s actually a really good line. Go and read it by youself.

Almighty Sinnoh commands you to pay child support by Doozethebird

This is one of the funniest fics i have ever read and i don´t want to spoil the fun for everyone so go and read it.

Like their last Day on Earth by AvaritiaFF

A 8K+ one shot monster. This fic manage to be funny, sexy, romantic, adorable and did i mention sexy? the clasic secret rival with benefits, enemies to lovers, angs with happy ending tha every famdom needs. The autor said is a PWP but i disagree, the plot is there and happend to have a tons of sex, great work, 100/10.

All the stars in the universe by Marcel10

This is. This is my personal favorite. Irida is gonna married and Adaman deals with his feelings. Is so well pace it, so well write it, have some of the best caractherizarions, is romantic, is angsty. the only thing holding it from perfection is tha is lack it ending, but at this point who cares? (i, i care so much) as it is is so so good.

This are my favorites! but as i said there are more than 100, i hope this fandom keep growing and growing. :D

[miguellover07]

C´est pas vrai. (Part 2)

Part 1 of @atotalmess-lol

Warnings: around 866 words, mention of death, angst with bad ending, not proofread, Miguel x fem!reader

He feels a peng in his heart, hearing that even in this dimension he didn't get the chance to be happy but this time he left his lover and not his daughter all alone.

With shaky legs and trembling shoulders, she steps closer her hands reaching out for him but before they could actually touch him she stops unsure if her brain is playing a cruel trick.

It´s clear to Miguel that even with her mask on that she is on the verge of a serious breakdown. He guesses that the canon event must have happend recently.

"You can´t be real... this is all just a post trauma thing right?" she sobs out while she pulls her mask down and the sight of her face makes his breath hitch.

Her hair, her nose, her eyes even her mouth resembles Gabriella and he feels his own wounds opening up again.

The man is too caught up to react or say anything, his eyes wide with hurt in it, too perplexed to answer her.

Debating with himself whether or not he should tell her the truth or just take the role of the dead Miguel of this dimension... again.

But perhaps this time he can prevent the multiversum from collapsing.

Maybe if he recruits you in his spider society, he could be by your side and have a family of his own.

"I-I- don´t-" he can´t focus with the strom of thughts inside his head.

Those sad teary eyes make him lose all rational thoughts and he puts his arms around her without much thinking.

The third person already forgotten and they decided to leave the scene, feeling like they shouldn´t disturb it.

In an attempt to keep him from going she digs her nails in his back while weeping loudly, fearing that he would leave her or get shot again.

His heart breaks at her sobs and uneven breathing, he hugs her tightly as he feels her losing strength in her legs.

Silent tears roll down his face which is burried in the crook of her neck, smelling her shampoo and trying to be as close as possible. Savouring every second he can.

None of them are able to speak as they both mourn their lost ones.

Miguel his daughter and she her lover.

He can´t believe it she is actually the woman he could have Gabriella back in his life and despite the loss he also feels hope sparkling in his heart.

With her in his arms he slowly falls down to his knees, pulling her on his lap.

"How is this possible? Tell me, please" she hicups and sniffles while cupping his cheeks in her hands, wiping away his tears.

Miguel´s jaw tenses as he still couldn´t decide which option is the safest for the multiverse and her, he doesn't want her to get hurt because of his stupidty like he hurt Gabriella.

Biting his lips he stares in her eyes while slowly shaking his head "no" is all he can muster up with a broken voice.

Taking deep breaths to calm himself down, he needs to in order to get out of this mess.

He regrets hugging her if he had just went away and his cold demeanour, if he were just a minute faster with this stupid anomaly then the two of them wouldn´t have met.

He feels foolish for even thinking that he could do this all over again, he couldn´t even find an excuse for the dead Miguel if he were to take the role of him.

And even if he recrutes her it wouldn´t work.

These two would only end up like Gwen and Miles, where in every universe Gwen falls in love with Miles but in every universe they don´t get together.

Miguel knows he needs to say good bye, he can´t afford this luxuary as the protector of the multiverse.

She could have worked with him but it would be too complicated, too destructive for the both of them.

With a pained expression, he takes a strand of her hair to push it behind her hair.

And as if she knew what he was thinking she once again slides her arms around his neck, starting to beg "no no no, please don´t, please don´t leave me alone, I can´t do this without you, please oh please don't"

Hot tears streaming down her face again as she panics and Miguel can feel his heart shattering at her behaviour but he can´t allow himself to be weak and repeat his mistakes.

With strong but gentle arms he pushes her away, taking the sight of her in and while he stands up, she tries to cling to his hips, looking up at him while continuing her desperate begging "at least explain it to me, please!"

Miguel could explain it to her but then there would be a posibility that she could reach him and he can´t allow that.

That´s why he slowly steps away resulting in her clinging to his leg, he starts pushing buttons on his watch only for a portal to appear so that he can go back to his dimension.

All the while his eyes never leave hers and once he is gone, back in his office, he breaks down on his knees, hugging himself, trying to remember her scent and the feeling of her trembling body against him.

The image of her and him with Gabi in his arms lingers in his mind which only tears him more apart. His thoughts filled with what could have been.

It was no mistake this spider-woman is his destinated partner but it´s just the wrong dimension and he can´t risk it only for his selfish desires.

On the other side, she is laying there on the roof top, crying and screaming for him to come back, her fist start hitting the ground, too frustrated and tired of her repeated loss.

🕷🕸

OMG thank you @atotalmess-lol much for letting me write a second part and I hope you like the little something I made. It was actually so much fun writing angst and achhh I´ve kinda hurt myself with this and I hope I remember this correctly with Gwen and Miles from the movie

[ouroboros-hideout]

WIP WHENEVER

Got tagged by @aggravateddurian for this.

Thank you a lot! It´s been a while (I think. What year is it?)

VP

Currently on hold. I am moving in a week and my PS is already packed up in a box. But besides that I am way more hooked at things outside of the game so I will get back to that later. Still manifesting the idea to buy a PC later this year.

ART

My tablet and I aren´t friends atm so nothing much here aswell. Have two small things cooking, but it´s all concepting atm.

Another thing is a logo design I am doing for Aon and her bunch of Nomads. Really broke my stupid head about a name for the mine she built her business in and ended up with: Lynx´s den. Why I will explain when I can actually show the thing. Her gang will call themselves „Lynxed“ or „The Lynxed“. It´s a made up word from the term Jinxed + Lynx. Since they are a group of sad little bastards it fits quite well, even if it has a rather negative conotation.

Besides that I had a huge What-if brainrot for my writing and have some alternative apperances in head for blorbo girl. And for my main hc too ofc. Still traumatized by the Kurt art I did lmao, but need to draw the mfer again aswell. Will see when the inspiration/motivation hits.

WRITING

I am currently 100% in wirting and brainrot mode. But will get back into other things hopefully soon aswell. But I want to use the time where I am able to juggle some letters into smth usefull.

Like Napalm is still going. Last thing where those 3 „In between things“ and I am close (I am going to jinx it) to finish the next longer chapter. Fingers crossed the writing flow will last till I managed to upload it.

Another thing is Aon´s diary I mentioned (a long?) time ago. I really want to create something visual for it too. Baddieghest circus director @blackrevell enabled me into the idea to go for a Red Dead Redemption – like style with some sketches for every entry.

So far I have one entry about the moment right after Aon had to flee from her home and hide with her former boyfriend in Moscow - but no sketch yet.

The last thing would be the already mentioned huge What-if moment I had some days ago, where I stripped Aon of her Nomad background and turned her full Corpo (I think that just happends in this fandom at some point, does it?). In this AU she will be a high ranking officer at SovOil´s Security Forces. Through some circumstances she will turn sides to Militech and will end up in Kurt´s unit, serving with him, going to war with him and building Dogtown from the ground up with him. It´s quite interessting and insanely helpfull to explore a blorbo in a different way. Really clears the mind.

I wrote two little txt about it already but actually have no idea where this will lead. So far I had „fun“ with exploring the dynamics of Kurt and Rosie within this AU since it will play a big part in the beginning. Didn´t upload it yet on AO3 but probably will at a point (when I don´t get triggerd by the UI/UX of this page).

That´s it so far. Will tag some of you folks. But no pressure, just show smth if you like!

@cybervesna @blackrevell @olath124 @cyberholic77 @wanderingaldecaldo @dustymagpie @fonfan121 @universalwriter1994 @kdval @chevvy-yates @therealnightcity @theviridianbunny @breezypunk @cybersteal @streetkid-named-desire

[v0id000]

Pt3

Ghost angst

CW selfharm/ eating disorder / skin picking/ reference to suicidal thoughts

Gaz decided that he can't let soap go on about his behaviour and that he will tell price so soap finally can get help. So when soap finally was asleep Gaz went on his way to price offices. When he reached the door he saw that the offices was empty. So he went to search for price in his room , also empty, then he thought maybe the gym then he suddenly meet him when he existed the messhall with a tray of food and a cup of tea. "Sir, could I talk to you for a minute?" Gaz asked price. Price looked suprise that Gaz was even their right beside him " I- Ehm can't it wait for a while?" Price said. Gaz was a bit confused by price he seem stressed and in a rush, not the normal stressed by woke but something more personal. "Sir it's really important" Gaz said with emphasis trying to express his urgent. "I can be with you in an hour if you really need to talk to me , meet me at my office" prices said and rushed away. An hour later Gaz went to price office and knocked on the door. he heard a low "come in" and opened the door. " so gaz what was so important that you needed to see me this urgent" price asked, he still looked stressed having deep frown folds on his face. "well i wanted to talk to you about soap" gaz said slowly looking at the ground. price looked up suprissed, he realised he hadn´t payed much attention to soap " what are you exacly refering to gaz " he asked curiously. gaz sigh , still fighting with his conscience if he made the right choice, " he refuse to take proper care of his body and doesn´t eat enough" he said slowly. price felt his heart hurt , how did he not notice this behaviour " i understand thank you for you concern, do you have an idea how to help him and support him?" he asked with true concern. gaz sigh again " he fainted on the training field again and the doctor in the medbay already told him that he can reach out to a therapist but i don´t think that he is even worth reaching out for help" gaz told price not even sure if this is helping or just raising price concerns. price looked at gaz for a moment then " do you know he reason why he does that ?" price asked him , gaz just shook his head " he won´t tell me , even after he wakes up from a nightmare he just shakes is head and won´t tell me" gaz anwsered. Price rubbed his face " well we kind of need to know the reason to even help him" he sigh again and took out a cigar and lit it. Gaz scratched his head " I don't know how he will tell me what is happend" Gaz was clueless how he will get to help soap. Price signed again he looked way to stressed and Gaz felt bad for bothering him again "sorry for bothering you I will handle it myself captain" he already turned around and hand on the door handle ready to leave "Gaz come back and sit down" price said " you aren't bothering me , never think I'm ever bother by any of you , you are my team and I will take care of you no matter what it is" price stated with a strong voice. They both agreed to talk to soap this evening.

In the evening price and gaz walked to soaps barrack. When they went into the room soap was still sleeping into his room looking still as pale as he did at the training. Gaz shook soaps body to wake him up. Soap turned around and mumbled something Gaz shook him again when soap slowly woke up he saw Gaz and asked him "what's going on" stil slurring his words a bit , Gaz sigh " tav you know I love you and I can't let you keep doing this to you body you need to get help" he said soap looked around confused and saw price sitting in a chair slowly fear bubble up in his body his mind is going wild , is he going to be kicked out if the tasked force or worse is he even getting discharged. " What do you mean Gaz" he asked with fear in his voice looking at price anxious, " son" price stooded up and walked over to soap " you not in trouble, we just want to help you" price said when he put a hand on his shoulder. Soap picked at his fingers again slowly drawing blood. Gaz took soaps fingers in his hand and shushing him , price looked at him worried " son, what is going on , what happens" he asked while stroking through his hair. Soap still didn't wanted to talk about it, it was his last bit of privacy he had and he would through ghost into the fire. Out of reflex he try to pick at his skin again only realising Gaz was still holding them , he felt the nausea creep up his body "i- i-" he stuttered his body starting to shake a bit " really it- it's nothing really" soap try to convince price and Gaz . Gaz just looked at him more worried and taking him in a big hug and rooking him slowly. Soap started to sob and letting all of his pain out , price put his blanket around him and stroked his hair again . While the sobbing soap tried to " I just- I destroyed-" he sobbed again " I hurt him- , it's all my fault" Gaz looked confused at price " I'm useless" soap stated. Gaz brought soap closer to him "tav you not useless never think like this about youself" Gaz getting soap into the blanket more and rooking him slowly again. Price sat back into the chair " soap you a valued member of this task force and a part of this family atleast for me this is my family" he said to him. Soap still sniffling in Gaz hug looking at price suprised snuggling closer to Gaz "wha- family" soap asked quietly.

Price left Gaz and soap for the night and asked to talk again tomorrow, soap agreed and Gaz was relieved he did the right choice. After price left soaps room he returned to Simon's room to check on him . When he arrived in the room he saw Simon frantically searching through everything in his room when he turned around and saw price standing in his room he looked at him "where- where did you put them" he asked with a shaking voice. Price knew immediately knew that he was asking for his blades , he step closer to him "Simon you don't need them come on sit down" he gently pushed him to his bed. Simon was still shaking and trying to hit price out of frustration. " Why did you take them, why" a sob interruped him " I just need to , I can't do this anymore" he sobbed even more now revealing just how bad he felt. price tucked Simon into his bed slowly standing up to leave him alone when Simon crabbed his hand and quietly asked him to stay just for today, price stayed ofcourse cuddling Simon when Simon passed out again through exhaustion.

The next morning price left Simon's room after he placed breakfast and a tea on his bed table and went to his office to meet with soap and Gaz. When he arrived at the door soap and Gaz were already standing at the door looking up when they heard his foot steps, he unlock the door and hushed them in the room. " Soap I want to thank you for coming today I know this isn't easy for you" price said when they sat all down around the table " don't rush youself" he looked caring at soap. Soap looked really pale and had dark circle under his eyes Gaz already took soaps hand into his to stop his picking in his hand. " I- I really don't know what I did I swear I didn't mean to let this happen" soap stuttered " I just- I wanted to l- I didn't want to- " soap suddenly didn't know how to start his sentence. Gaz looked at him worried again caring trough his hair " don't pressure yourself". " I just thought he really loved me I just-" he stopped and sniffed " I thought we can retire together" price looked a bit surprised at soap slowly his mind putting the pieces together and just wanted to push Simon into a room with soap so he can finally stop running from himself. Gaz still didn't catch up so he asked " who did you ask tav ?" looking at soap soap looked at the floor still not sure if he reveals his relationship to ghost would cost him and ghost his job and put Gaz rage upon Simon. " Gaz i-" he wasn't searten if he should reveal this when price interrupted him " Gaz could I talk to soap alone for a moment " Gaz looked confused at him " what captain-" Gaz started " Kyle please" price asked again , Gaz just nodded slowly and slowly left the room. Soap got even more nervous picking at his skin again " son" price started " I'm not here to kick you out or give you a speech about fraternization, I just want to talk about you about this situation" he sighed " I know you are talking about ghost when you saying him , so I just want to ask what happened?" Looking at soap curious. " You not kicking me out sir?" Soap asked relieved "no, son as I said you part of this family" price said " I- I just asked him if he want to retire with me in the future, I thought he loved me" soap said quietly looking at his hands feeling a bit Awkward confessing this to somehow a father figure for him. Price sigh again and cursing Simon in his head because he know that Simon definitely took this request from soap wrong and thought that soap want to leave this team with him " son listing I don't want to justify Simon's behaviour because he definitely made a mistake but I want to tell you Simon probably just misunderstood you and that he thinks you want to leave this team and take away Simon's family because you selfish" prices said with a heavy heart. Soap looked confused at price "but I didn't say that". " I know soap I know it's just Simon has a hard time with leaving this base and this team even if it is just for leave he doesn't have good experience with being outside of the military" price said standing up and taking soap into a hug. " I- I need to talk to him" soap just realised "but he doesn't want to see me" he said sadly. Price just took soaps hand " come one son this can keep going on" walking to ghost room and opening it with out knocking seeing Simon sitting at his desk looking shocked at the door when price just said " you two" pointing at soap and ghost " are going to talk without this out and finally talk about you emotions" price turned around and left going back to Gaz still standing confused Infront of price office " the problem should be solved soon" price just stated.

When price left the room soap just looked anxious at ghost picking at his finger again seeing that his finger are bleeding again and cursing under his breath , Simon looked at him and his hands and slowly stood up when to his bathroom and took out his first aid kit returning to soap pushing him onto his bed and taking his hands and patching up his hands with such care soap didn't expect at this moment. " Why did you say this to me?" Soap asked slowly still being scared to be hurt even more looking at his now patched up hands trying to not pick at them again. Simon was anxious not knowing what to say if it was the right decision to reveal his emotions now " you wanted to take away my family by leaving without really considering my feelings first" he decided to answer. Soap just looked at him shocked " Simon I don't want you to leave this task force behind now like right now I just thought maybe in the future when we both decided this work has been enough and you maybe want to settle down with me I thought we got close enough that you know I respect you and you decision and that you take comfort in this task force which I do to this Taskforce is a second family to me and I wouldn't want to leave it right now" Jonny said to him with his whole heart wishing Simon would feel how sincere he is. Simon looked at him and realised how much he misunderstood Jonny and made hasty conclusions and acted harsh with no reason for Jonny. His behaviour was a fatal mistake for him and Jonny and he felt how his heart got heavy and started to hurt." I-" he rubbed his eyes " I made a mistake" he said not knowing how to communicate the rest of his emotional disaster inside of him, feeling the wounds on his arms icht trying not to scratch on them. Jonny looked into Simon's eyes and saw how lost he is but that he genuinely meant that he made a mistake and is not really sure what to say next. Simon never was good with words but also he wasn't good with his behaviour too he didn't know how to openly show his affection or that he cared. " I didn't mean to misunderstand you and also I regret the harsh words I said to you because of that Jonny" Simon said softly. Jonny felt tears in his eyes again but not the kind he had lately but happy tears he slowly walked to Simon going for a hug. Simon saw Jonny's hand movements and took him into a hug and kissed the top of Jonny's head and whisper "I'm sorry I love you" not sure if jonny heard it but still blushed. Jonny mumbled " me too" trying to hug Simon closer like he was trying to hug away the bad experience from there fight.

Ahhhhhhh finally I somehow finished it , I'm not good with fluff and fixing things.

Maybe I will add something later of how it will go with Gaz and price but for now this is the end

[giallos]

it was only a matter of time before the vitriol spewed at the character would be directed at the actor. what happens to Lou happend with every other LI on the show but this line of attack is especially disgusting. and I´m sorry but Oliver and Tim may be of the opinion that their social media game should not be dictated by the crazy fandom but everytime they decide to lean into buddie by liking or re-posting stuff (and only buddie stuff) they embolden this kind of behaviour. they keep that ship and that line of questioning in interviews alive. I don´t care if it is involuntary (although nobody can be that naive) and that it´s unfair- it is what it is. people interpret that as them shipping buddie and they should accept that instead of ranting on facebook after the fact or deleting posts every now and then.

i don't really think there's anything oliver or tim can do to keep fans from spewing their vitriol. both oliver and ryan have commented about fans going after actresses who played the guys' love interests before and nothing's changed. also, they probably don't want to kick a hornet's nest any more than it's already been kicked. maybe they also feel coming down on the fans would do more harm than good. it's incredibly possible that people are supporting lou behind the scenes, offering encouragement or advice about how to handle the fan reactions. who knows?

it does seem like oliver's aware of the attention lou's gotten on social media, based on the comment he made in that one interview. and it seems like lou has been focusing more on the positive or happy comments than the negative ones. he probably does a decent job of filtering out the noise and not letting negativity and venom from a small portion of the fanbase get to him.

[lavenderangeline]

She who holds the spirits

TW:NSFW content, mastubation, morning wood lmao MINORS DON'T INTERACT

Chapter 4 A new day, a new training partner

Anna braids her strand of her, back to Yamato which just sat and watched her. She was so beautiful as the morning sun shined on her hair, making it glow like Amber. “Your dreams are wild- just to let you know. With the spirit in me i can see what others dream while i´m also asleep.”, Anna explained calm and not with a bit of judgment in her voice. Getting thrown out of his thoughts, the young mans heart dropped to the floor. He wanted to die, right now, on spot. This was the most embarrasing thing wich ever happened to him. What must she think of him now? Staring on the mattress before him, his thoughts raced. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder, Anna looking at him. She… smiled? “Don´t judge yourself for something that is completly normal of being a human. We are a team now.” Heart racing, looking into her blue eyes with hope. Yamatos mouth went dry, he couldn´t say anything, he couldn´t even think. He mastered every situation, every mission somehow but that? In these situations he was just so unsure and flustered, it was hard to know what was the right thing to do in this situation. She giggled, looking into his black eyes. “You don´t have to say anything. I´m sorry for making you so flustered. Just wanted to be honest with you.” Ruffling his hair she steps back, turning around again and this time Yamato finally notices the massive black tattoo on her back and shoulders. Most of it is covered by her grey top, he´s asking himself what it might be, it looks like an formular for an sealing. The Crescent moon with the little sun in it and the lotus above them on her forehead might have something to do with the sealing. He saw it in the crystal of her forehead in her dragon form. Actually he wanted to get up and ask her but… feeling his dick still poking up won´t help at all. This situation doesn´t feel normal… is he in a Gen- Jutsu? No… that´s not it- it is reality and he doesn´t want to admit it.

Now he is thinking back and forth, what he should do about this “problem” of his, then murmuring to himself: "i think i need some help with that..." "Help? with what?", Anna turns around, eyebrows raised as she looks at him while adjusting her earring. Yet again the blood flows into his cheeks, beside being pumped in his dick. "Well.. eh- nothing! I- I just talked to myself-", he laughs embarrassed. "Mhm-" she forms her lips into one line. "If you say so-" Almost losing himself in the fantasy of her sucking his- No! nonononoooooo-

”May i use your shower?”, his voice is almost desperate- Somehow Annaisha heard something in it that made her heart pump faster, it makes her cheeks slightly pinkish. “Uhm yeah- sure! I´ll give you an towel.” Walking into the Bathroom, she gets out an fresh towel out of the little cabinet by the sink, laying it to the side so he can reach it in the shower. “Do you need something to wasch yourself with?”, She asks, the bathroom walls letting her words echo a bit. “N- No. Just need it wake up you know….” She nods, “Okay!” Then she graps her oil and face massage stone and gets out. “The bath is all yours Yamato”, a kind smile playing around her lips. “Thank you”, kind of relieved, not thinking of it he stands up.

Anna steps out of the bath, yawning, walking up to her bookshelf on the end of her bed to grab a little mirror. Noticing him in the side of her eye, fast she looks away again to stay respectful she even closes her eyes. Yamato dissapears, almost fleeing into the bath, closing the door behind him. Both of the young adults taking a deep breath in and out. Blushing hard and think of the situation they´re in, kindly slapping themselves on the cheek to get something else in their mind. Why out of all the situations that could have happend does it need to be this one? How can it be that they feel attracted to each other that fast? Also why does it need to be physically? Kind of ashamed they both continue what they wanted to do.

Anna sits on the bed, calmly applying her face oil and then begins to follow her facial features and neck line. She sighs. It´s hard to admit to herself that she has an hard time controlling her impulsivness around him. Her pink cheeks change into an deep red. Feeling how her stomach gets warm as she remembers. And in bed, as they just laid there… she got wet by his smell… god- she should get exorcised by a priest! Yes, it is okay to feel that way. But… this man is a superior and also she just knows him for nearly a day, this isn´t some type of onenightstand. Even if it goes that far that she´s being friends with him… she can´t get over the fact that she wants to get railed by this man so bad or it will drive her nuts, going to fuck him instead. Biting her bottom lip and stopping in her movement as she thinks all this- she could´ve sweared she heart a wimper from the bathroom… As much as he tried to stop thinking about it, nothing helped. Well it was clear before but even under the shower he was able to stop his horny thoughts. The cold droplets of water running down his body, one arm leaning on the wall, the other hand running through his wet hair. What had gotten into him? Even tho the cold of the water was some kind of distracting his thoughts always came back of how her touch felt. How it would feel having her hand around his dick? Seeing the lust in her eyes, knowing that she´s crazy for him? God… He wished it would be possible. Looking down on him he´s kinda startled seeing his cock this way- Pulsing so much and so in need of release his veins are showing through is skin, precum comes out, begging to be swallowed by her. He shortly gazes towards the door through the glass of the shower, would it be okay if he…? His hand already touching his cock makes him whine, he hoped that it wasn´t too loud. His gaze goes around the room as he begins, slowly moving his hand up and down. As he sighs from the lust Yamato closes his eyes and grips harder, imagining Annaisha´s lips around his cock, sucking his glans while looking up with these doe eyes. Would she allow him letting him fuck her mouth? Silently moaning, so silent that it´s only his breathing his hand get faster. Massaging his balls, thinking about her hands touching him everywhere. Breaths get quicker. His cheeks are flushed while he gazes down to his cock, almost hypnotized while his imagination runs wild in his mind.

Fantazising about her moans that he heard in his dream making him high in this feeling. Thinking about tasting her, not only her lips but also her pussy. He make out a shape in his mind, wanting to fuck it so hard that she can´t walk after it. Out of her pussy running his thick hot cum and her juice. Making her his own. His muscles tightening as his thoughts go on, getting faster in his movement he´s about to see stars as he comes close to his orgasm. “I want to cum on your face…”, he whispers. He bites in his hand so his moan doesn´t comes out of his throat. Grunting deeply as he peaks his high, spurting all over the place. He leans on the wall with both arms holding him, looking down on his cock while his cum shoots out. “Fuck…” he slowly says in deep raspy voice. Bit dizzy he sees how the water washes the rest of his white cum away. Getting ashamed of himself while he watches. But what could´ve he done different? He wouldn´t get away from her until he meets up with Tsunade for his report. Quickly washing himself, then putting the water out and drying himself. In the towel he can smell her. But now it´s not driving him crazy, it calms him down.

A few hours later Anna and Yamato are on their way to the training ground. First only meeting up with Naruto and Kakashi. Anna is kind of nervous but also relieved they met yesterday. Even tho it wasn´t the best situation. Almost having 10 in the morning they arrive and Naruto is already hyper while waiting. He runs towards them “Captain Yamato! Annaisha there you are! I was waiting for so long now!” Anna giggles by the enthusiasm of this young boy. Only 16 to 17 and that much energy. Damn she would´ve needed that too.

“Good Morning Naruto- Good to see you again.” Anna smiles. She knows that Naruto will annoy her at some point but she likes him so far. Reminding her of herself when she has wayyy too much energy. Yamato just kingly smiling down on them. ”What are we training today?! Ohh boy i can´t wait!”, Narutos eyes are glowing. “Well actually we should wait until Kakashi is here buuuuut because our new team member is here i´ll show her how she can control your chakra. Also you two can train together for a bit. Anna could show what she can do and you Naruto learn how she moves so you two can fight better together.” The suggestion coming from Yamato first takes Narutos ecxitment and then brings it up to the top again. “YES! Lets get going!” “Are you okay with that Anna?”, Yamato looks down to her, her blue doe eyes meeting his. He can see the question building up in her mind. Why does he ask her about her opinion? He´s the captain here and in charge until Kakashi comes up. She answers: “Uhhh yeah! Sure thing!” “Good then let´s train with each other first. Anna show what you got!” She nods happily, walks up to the front of them and explains something first. ”So my chakra element is Water based and i also have Wind chakra. But-” Before explaining further her fist smashes on the ground, letting it break into a huge hole and one big piece of earth lifts up. The crashing is really loud in their ears. Anna doesn´t wait long and kicks her foot against. The rock flys across the training ground, precipitates some trees until it stops after sliding its way through the treeline. Now she looks at it, claps her hands together to get rid of the dirt then looks back to Naruto and Yamato. They both have their mouth wide open and all their colour got washed out of their faces. A slight nervous laughter comes out of Annas mouth. “Ahaha… yeah- I´m pretty strong so i use it to my advantage. I love using Taijutsu. It balances it out because i don´t like using my Ninjutsu that much. Not that i can´t do it it´s just… boring…” Yamato listens to what she´s saying. It could be useful, she can go into ranged and closed combat, by having Nin- and Taijutsu´s. Naruto is already jumping around the red haired woman, begging her to show him how she did it. “Okay, okay- I´ll show you later. Now-” with an blink of an eye she stands behind Naruto, “show me what you got frog boy-” Then throws him right into the waterfall. A loud boom with water splashing coming from the crashing. Anna knows that Naruto isn´t knocked out yet. He jumps right back, rasengan ready to throw on her but she´s too fast, the spirit in her makes it easy to move that way. Naruto crashes his Rasengan into the earth, making the hole even bigger. “Water dragon jutsu!”, Anna already formed he handsigns and a huge water dragon appears out of the little lake, speeding towards Naruto. The young boy sighs annoyed : “of course she forms a dragon…” The watery mass attacks him, he tries to get away, getting a short gaze of the woman who´s attacking him. Her eyes are cold, ice cold in a blue that´s not even natural anymore. Her smirk showing sharp canine teeth. It reminds Naruto of himself, of what they all told him. How is she able to control this power? “Naruto! Don´t get distracted! Com´mon! I know you can do more!”, Anna now yells. Bit surprised that she sounds like a teacher Yamato is watching them. He finds the way Anna encourages Naruto interesting. Does she want that Naruto beats her? Maybe, considering she is stronger than him by being alignet with her powers, which Naruto is just learning to do so. Naruto catching himself, slides down the dragon which just tries to catch the boy with it´s teeth. Biting for him till Naruto is too close to Anna. She breaks the Justu, letting him fall down.

“Shadow clone Jutsu!” Around Anna appear too many Narutos to count. “The classic, i see.” In the corner of her eye she witnesses Naruto landing, already forming another rasengan. “Damn, the boy clearly has no other tactic…” Yamato already told her a little bit about him, but what he definetley told her was about the shadow clones, especially because he´s training with them at the moment. Which is also why they need her to control him.

The shadow clones are about to attack her. Anna throws some kunai, letting her wind chakra flowing through it. The blades seemingly growing larger while they´re flying through most of the shadow clones. “RASENGAN!” Naruto shouts from above her. Reacting fast she forms a ball of water around her. His Rasengan goes right through it. “Shit!”, she says through her teeth. Within seconds she forms her hands into dragonclaws, grabs the Rasengan and catapults it into the distance. Then grabbing Narutos wrist and hulking him on the ground so you hear one of his bones crack. Naruto grunts in pain. Anna directly realizes what she had done, gasps and kneels down to him. Her hands getting normal again, as she pulls him on her lap, healing his wound and his broken rib. ”God, Naruto i am so sorry! I just reacted!” Her hands tremble as the green light of the healing jutsu flows through her fingers. Naruto notices through his blurry vision how upset she is about it. He lowkey grins. “No worries, now i know that i have to train hard to get as strong as you are!” He gives her a thumbs up. Yamato runs towards them. He wasn´t able to see clearly what happend because of the water bubble Anna build around them. “What happend?”, he asks, kinda shocked to see Naruto that way from a, what was at least supposed to be, train fight. “I instinctly reacted and didn´t thought it out….”, Anna silently answers.

Yamato sighs deeply. “At least we know that this way of training with Naruto isn´t the best for you two.” Naruto and Yamato catch Anna sobbing, out of the guilt she feels because she hurt Naruto that bad. It was hard to calm her down, even after Naruto´s ouchies were fixed, only after Naruto huggging her bc he was also pretty much overwhelmed with her reaction she slowly calmed down. They all sat down a tree, taking a short break. “How were you actually able to throw away my Rasengan?”, Naruto asks, lowkey excitment coming through his voice. Out of comfort she bites into an onigiri, sniffing the last tears away. “Well… sniff - i can form my hands into the claws of the dragon, that way i can hold onto things that you normally couldn´t.” She shows her hand wich isn´t holding the food she currently eats. It has little cuts on it, coming from holding the amount of chakra Narutos Rasengan had.

Before Naruto can say something about it, Yamato lightly grips her wrist, getting something out of the bag Anna had when they were on their way to the training ground and then wraps some bandages around it. He says nothing, he´s just… doing it. Naruto looks back and forth between the two. Anna is blushing and watches Yamato wrapping the mull around her hand, even if he doesn´t need too because it´s going to heal in 2 hours- ”You two are acting reeaaalll sus here-”, Narutos statement makes them stop moving and looking at the young boy.” ”Wha- no that´s not whats happening here-”, The captain tries to explain himself, but for that it is too late. “Are you sure about that Tenzo?” Kakashis voice behind his younger friend lets Yamato heart drop. Anna can´t help herself and laughs.

[baska117]

Crazy theories #1

!!!possible comic/books spoiler allert!!!

I decided to have discussion about theories of mine: 1. Which blood type would have characters Agent 47, Lucas Grey and other Ort-Meyer´s clones.

2. Is there any other reason why Lucas and 47 wanted to destroy Ort-Meyer and Providence than only cloning program? Only for freedom?

3. Death of Lucas Grey - is he really dead? What will happend if he somehow survived?

1. theory: In official canon there is writen "In exchange for the research funding, Ort-Meyer provided his former comrades with donor organs harvested from clone bodies, which significantly extended their longevity and made them appear much younger." This brings me to a conclusion that 47/Grey/clones would have possibly blood type 0+/0- because "The Five Fathers" would have different blood types and blood type 0 is universal blood type (especially 0 neg.). For example in Hitman: Contracts was Agent 47 bad wounded and Diana sent doctor to treat 47´s gunshot wound. I think it is necessary for these wounds to get the blood transfusion to save life of person.

2. theory: This theory came to my mind after i read comic Agent 47: Birth of the Hitman.

Personally I think there was another reason, we don't see now, why they wanted to destroy Ort-Meyer and Providence. Freedom was clear thing, because they lived in harsh conditions. But is that the only reason? I don´t think so. There may be possible something or someone they wanted to protect at all cost.

3. theory: I was very shocked by his death in H3. But is he really dead? I know many of players have theory that he might survive his "suicide" act. I searched for some documents if is there any possibility of surviving wound like this. This type of wound could be fatal by bullet velocity, but it depend of pistol type and used ammo. But percentually there was about 45% of surviving and we all know that Lucas was no ordinary human being. If 47 would react fast, Lucas might survive this shot - but with big brain damage - possibly movement, memory and speech issues. Please this is only my theories and thoughts. Don´t be rude in comments or reblogs. Thank you.

[a-certain-elf]

I want your opinions on 5 ships, actually:

1. Gremaya with enby Gren

2. Aaranai (Aaravos/Janai) with fem!Aaravos

3. Kimditi (Kim'dael/Aditi)

4. Ameli (Amaya/Opeli)

5. Aaradael (Aaravos/Kim'dael)

I will 100% accept all your personal opinions and will not think less of you even if you hate all of them with a passion (I fully support people's right to hate ships and my only exception is when people criticize others for shipping smt). I only ship three of these myself.

OAKY Ill do these in order. Let`s go

Gremaya

ship: ew / nonono / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / MY HEART

Gremaya even without enby Gren was a possibilty before Janai and before Amaya was confirmed as a lesbian so. Certainly could have worked out with these 2. With enby Gren. Sure. Yeah I can see that.

2. Aaranai (Aaravos/Janai) with fem!Aaravos

ship: ew / nonono / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / MY HEART

Havent heard of that one yet. Its interesting. I would like to know if there are any fics out there that explore this. Would also like to hear any ideas for this.

3. Kimditi

ship: ew / nonono / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / MY HEART

Oh yeah. That`s the good stuff. From the second that short story dropped I was sold one these 2. I like the idea of them actually developing feelings for each other and maybe Kim helping Janai and Amaya against Karim but I doubt that will happend. Or maybe Aditi even coming back (Aaravos did saw he swallowed her, not that he killed her. Could mean anything) and Kim having a big gay moment. Also the spicy potential these 2 have is off the charts.

4. Amelie

ship: ew / nonono / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / MY HEART

My go to ship for Amaya before Janai came along. There is some cute fanart on tumblr with Amaya putting some flowers in Opelis hair. I joined the fandom right when s2 came out so I immediatly jumped on the Janaya train without giving much thought to Amelie. They are cute though and I totally see her as one of Amayas exes.

5. Aaradael

ship: ew / nonono / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / MY HEART

Probably the only being that can match Kim when it comes to battle/magic powers and maybe even the only one who can free her from her binding so I can see why people would ship them. I don`t because I like my bloodmoon huntress with a dash of Janaya or Aditi on the side, but it def works. Also I see Kim exlusively as a Lesbian since she literally has the same colors as the lesbian flag. :D

[deadnytalks]

Sonic is a kids franchise and that´s "bad"... (for us lol)

before you cancel me because the tittle looks so anoying and victimistic let me set somenthing clear:

whith "kid": I´m refering to all the users younger than 15 years old, witch is the actual target of the saga (and that because of the existence of Shadow. Because if not, it would be 7 years old kids)

And no, I don´t belive that all the toxicity of the fandom only fault of the minors, if you ever thinked about it.

Whith this said, let´s start:

Why is it "bad" for us, the older fans that the saga is for kids??

A simple reason: toxicity and youtube being an ashole. I´ll explain more under the "read more" thing

1.Kids are inevitably toxic and anoying

You are a Sonic artist that likes to drawn comics or art but is not for kids? Too bad, because the Saga is for kids. And so your target include kids in a INEVITABLE way!! I remember being a kid writing coments to my favourite content creator thinking that I was helping him. Only for grown up, reading that old coments, and realicing that I was being the most anoying thing on the world.

2. Art thieving and tracing

I´ts practically a rule in any kind of big fandom to steal art. In kids fandom is worse, because they didn´t even know that is bad/they usually don´t care (perphaps, is practically part of the internet culture to steal all the images that you like. It´s anoying but is true. If you don´t want that to happend you have to do like stock: Upload the art whith low cuality and whith wattermarks)

3. Copa law in youtube

This is THE WORST of the franchise being for kids. Because the algorithm is programed to mark for kids all of the animations that includes characters from kids franchises. It´s even worst if your animation looks professional or can be mistaken by an oficial thing. Look at Ballena productions or "Proyect Shadow", they were a victim of this

that´s all I have to say for now. If you feel anoyed by this explanations, then you are not the target of it/the mesagges aren´t for you ♥

[twopoppies]

Gina, I´m really sorry what happend to your anon ask yesterday. I want to write you that your answers really helped me yesterday because - no idea why I did that - I run into comment section full of het harries and eventho I know this stunt is obvious PR and it was obvious from the very beginning and even H let us known by wearing his stunt jacket, I started to question myself what if hets are right with their bs opinions. So I´m really thankful for your pov full of experience and your answers and opinions are always helpful for me when I feel lost and don´t know what to think. I´m about to stop checking on him and his zombie walks because eventho it´s still lowkey comparing to holivia, I can´t help myself but I don´t feel comfortable seeing him holding her hand or kissing her so I´d love to ignore all these upcoming photos of them just like I survived most of the holivia shitstorm because I didn´t care about H at all back then. Luckily Louis is starting his tour today and so I can focus on his content which currently gives me bigger joy.

Hi, sugar. I’m sorry his stunts stress you out so much. I do think it’s helpful to try and question your reactions and investigate where your assumptions and feelings are coming from. And, if you’re so easily affected, I’d very much recommend not reading the opinions of hets or rads or anyone who spouts off every hysterical thought that pops into their head.

Enjoy Louis’ tour. I’m sure there will be lots of fun content coming from that! And thank you for the sweet message. I appreciate it. 🩷

[alarrytale]

Marte do you think they will reunite? I know that the bua has have plausible deniability narrative and so it´s often (not only for H´s stunts but for other pr relationships in general) worded like "taking a break", "amicable breakup", "they still love each other" etc when we know it wasn´t a real relationship anyway but I don´t understand why they would spread the bua literally everywhere (only t*m*z didn´t write about it and that makes shippers believe it´s not over yet like they are clinging on their last hope like crazy) and then reunion again after few months? I know this happend with Sh*milla but it was so random and weird and it lasted like 2 months but I also think Shawn vs H stunting is very different as H has never done things Shawn has done (video and photoshoots, kissing on stage when performing at awards, red carpets, posts on IG etc). And also that narrative DailySh*t spreads that H was in love and wanted babies with her like ....wtf?

Hi, anon!

No, everyone is reporting it as a split, so it's a split. We can't of course rule out that they'll go for a 2.0 version in a year or two, they did with Kenda*l, but right now they're broken up. It isn't a break. It's over.

I think the "in love" and "wants to settle down and start a family" narrative is something to expect now that he's passed 30 years old. If you look at it, Harry is a man who can't keep a relationship for more than a year or two and he's been going through gfs without being single for long, since 2010. If this was all true, you would expect H to start prioritising his relationship over his career and try hard to make the relationship work. His friends and contemporaries are settling down with their long term partners and having kids. If H seems like a man who doesn’t want to settle down and have kids in his 30's he won't appear as attractive to the 2.5 kids and and a white picket fence het women fantasisers. People expect H to look for the one, "endgame" and to stop jumping from gf to gf. They expect him to want kids now and settle down. Now that the "wants to settle down have kids" narrative is out there, it's going to be harder for him to keep having short relationships or flings with young, blonde, aspiring models without people expecting him to try to make it work long term. So i think the next stunt he enters will be another 1 year contract (if not longer). I think he's done with the winter gfs (first day of spring, see you later!). If not, he'll very quickly end up like Leo DiCapr*o.