#Doubts

[lavender--fairy]

In imagination, nothing is hard or easy, everything just is. And so, learn to just be without littering it with fear, doubt, worry, urgency, impatience and what not. Ponder upon it, when you imagine, isn't everything already so? And is it not already so, now? Isn't that what you are yearning for? So why do you reject it? Because its 'not real'? Because 'it's just imagination'? Because 'It's not clothed in the 3d form yet'? Neville says you must yield to it, no questions asked and he says If you judge after appearances, you will continue to be enslaved by them. All these doubts arise when you try to feel the wish fulfilled while still thinking in terms of the 3D, still not letting it go, still not letting it be. No, you must let go of it, fully. Its like you're hugging the 4D while your pinky is linked with the 3D behind your back. You must pick one. And it must be the inner world, if you truly wish to be fulfilled for it is the only place that truly fulfills you without conditions and qualifications. Remember, what you wish for is not too far fetched, not impossible, not improbable. In fact, what you seek for is seeking you. Imagination is all giving regardless of how big or small you think your desire is, regardless of how hard and easy you think it is because In imagination, nothing is hard or easy, everything just is.

[philosophybits]

A writer must never speak of his doubts regarding his creation. It would be too easy to answer him: “Who is forcing you to create? If it is such constant anguish, why do you endure it?” Doubts are the most intimate thing about us. Never speak of one’s doubts, whatever they may be.

Albert Camus, Notebooks, 1942-1951

[a-tad-bit-obsessed]

I am so confused over people getting pissed off that the loud noises the girls are hearing might be the frogs.

Like this is the show that gives us something creepy / ominous and then gives us a rationale explanation for it, that is just enough to make you go ‘oh that might be it’ but not enough that you feel like it solves it with no reasonable doubt remaining.

Like the weird dreams, oh, the caves have poisonous gas, it might be like the oracle of Delphi. That explains the visions, gives a non-supernatural explanation for it. But does it explain the man with no eyes in the vision? How the girls seem to agree they shared one? How Ben might legit be a bridge back?

No, it gives enough to allow you to toe that line of supernatural and not.

And to me, so do the frogs, like you go, oh that’s what that noise was. But also you start to question, this season feels like it’s been a long time, Ben looked like he was held in the Ben Pen for weeks, even months, we know it’s getting colder. Would the frogs have been going at it for that long? Would they have been loud enough the girls could hear them from miles away but far enough that no one ever saw them?

[wiccapedia-author]

[yeesiine]

The intimacy of being with someone who has no doubts about their feelings for you.

[kathlare]

the weight of uncertainty

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: Amelie finds herself grappling with anxiety and uncertainty during a Thanksgiving dinner in São Paulo with her team. Despite being surrounded by laughter and festivities, she's weighed down by doubts about her relationship with Lando and her fears of repeating past mistakes.

Wordcount: 1.5 k

Warnings: fluff, smau

full masterlist // request over here!

November 23rd, 2023 - São Paulo, Brazil

Amelie sat at the head of the long table in the rented villa in São Paulo, her leg bouncing nervously under the table as she tried to concentrate on the conversation around her. The soft hum of chatter filled the air, and she could hear the familiar sound of her team laughing, the warm aroma of Thanksgiving dinner making her feel both at home and out of place.

Elysia, sitting beside her, looked radiant, all smiles as she exchanged stories with some of the team members. Amelie was happy for her sister but found herself oddly distant, her thoughts clouded. She had been working relentlessly between shows and recording sessions, and while Thanksgiving wasn’t really a thing in Brazil, her team had made the best of it. A festive dinner, music, and laughter—an unexpected break before the madness of the Eras Tour picked up again.

Her gaze drifted over to Alex Wolff, who sat across the table with his guitar case by his side, always the quirky artist. Alex had been Amelie’s best friend for years, ever since the first days in the industry, and had been the person to help her pick up the pieces when things went wrong. But tonight, it wasn’t his usual goofy smile or bright-eyed energy that Amelie was focusing on. It was that nagging feeling in her chest—the anxiety that had been building up for weeks.

Was this all too much? she wondered, her thoughts turning inward as she picked at her food.

Amelie forced a smile as she absentmindedly pushed her mashed potatoes around the plate. Everyone seemed so carefree, and here she was, barely able to keep her thoughts in check. She caught Alex's eye across the table, and he raised an eyebrow, sensing something was off. He was the one who always understood her better than anyone, and tonight, it seemed like the weight of her inner turmoil was getting too heavy to ignore.

She excused herself from the table under the pretense of needing some air, and Alex immediately followed her. He knew something was up.

The moment they stepped out onto the balcony of the villa, the cool night air hit Amelie’s face, and she closed her eyes for a moment, trying to collect herself.

Alex leaned against the railing, glancing over at her. —What's going on, Ames?— he asked softly, using the nickname he always called her when he knew something was wrong.

Amelie sighed, pressing her hands to her face, feeling the tension in her body. She had tried to push it down, tried to focus on the music and her work, but it kept creeping up on her. The overwhelming sense of doubt. The anxiety that started to settle in her chest when she thought about Lando.

—I don’t know if I can keep doing this with Lando,— she muttered, her voice almost inaudible as she looked down at the ground. —I mean, I really like him, but I can’t... I can’t keep pretending like everything’s fine when it feels like we’re just... playing around.—

Alex didn’t need to ask for more details; he already knew. He’d seen it all—the highs and lows, the fleeting moments of happiness that came with being in something so messy. He also knew how much Amelie had been hurt before, especially with everything that had gone down with Lando last time.

—Do you really want to end it?— Alex asked, his voice a mix of concern and understanding. —You don’t seem sure.—

She shook her head, her hands clasped tightly together. —I don’t know. It’s just that, every time I start to think about us, I feel this weird anxiety. Like we’re rushing into something again, and I don’t even know if I can handle it.— She paused, a bitter laugh escaping her lips. —I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, Alex. I mean, we’re not even together, technically. Not really. No one knows about us except you and Max, and honestly, even that’s been so weird. Why did I let it get this far?—

Alex took a deep breath and slowly walked over to her, putting a hand on her shoulder. —Ames, you're just scared,— he said softly. —You’ve been through a lot, and with Lando, it's complicated, right? The history, the past... But you’ve also got this thing with him that’s real. It's more than just casual, even if it doesn’t look that way. And you're not stupid. You wouldn't go down that road if you didn't care. But—

—I just keep thinking about what happened last time,— Amelie interrupted, her voice breaking slightly. —When he started talking to that girl, Luisinha. I know I wasn’t paying attention to him, but he should’ve understood. Instead, he went and chose someone else. And I let him do that. I just kept pretending like it didn’t matter... but it did.—

Alex let her speak, knowing that she needed to voice everything she’d been holding in. He gave her a moment, watching the emotions swirl in her eyes. —What are you really scared of?— he asked gently. —Is it about him, or is it about you?—

—I don’t know,— she whispered, a tear slipping down her cheek. —I just feel like I’m setting myself up for disappointment. I know he wants this, but... I don’t know if I can trust that he’ll stay this time. I’m just scared of getting hurt again.—

Alex’s expression softened as he reached out to wipe away her tear. —You’ve been hurt before. But you're not the same person anymore, Ames. You’re stronger. And if Lando can’t see that, if he doesn’t value what you have, then maybe it’s better to walk away before you get too deep.— He paused, offering a small smile. —I’m not saying it’s easy, but sometimes ending it before it gets worse is the best way to protect yourself.—

Amelie’s chest tightened. She knew he was right. She knew what she needed to do, but it still felt impossible.

—I keep telling myself that this time will be different, but... What if it’s not? What if I’m just setting myself up for more pain?—

Alex looked at her, his gaze intense but filled with care. —That’s the risk, Ames. You have to decide if it’s worth it. But don’t do it out of fear. If you’re going to walk away, it has to be because you’re choosing yourself, not because you’re afraid of getting hurt.—

Amelie nodded, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. —I just feel so... confused. One minute I think I can handle it, and the next I feel like I’m drowning in it.—

—You’re not drowning,— Alex said, giving her a soft chuckle. —You’re just figuring it out. And if you need to walk away, I’ll be right here, okay?—

She smiled faintly, appreciating his support. —Thanks, Alex. I just don’t want to mess things up again.—

—You won’t. You’re not messing anything up by choosing what’s best for you.— He squeezed her shoulder before pulling her into a brief hug. —You know I’ve got your back, always.—

As they stood there together, the noise from inside the villa seemed to fade into the background. Amelie’s mind was still racing, but something about talking to Alex made her feel a little lighter. He was right, in a way. She needed to focus on what she wanted, what she needed, before she made any decision about Lando.

And for the first time in a long time, she wasn’t sure what that answer was.

But at least, for now, she knew she didn’t have to figure it out alone.

--------------

liked by amelienation, daymanqueen01, and others

amelieupdates: Amelie spotted leaving a beautiful villa in São Paulo with her team and bestie Alex after what everyone’s guessing was a cozy Thanksgiving dinner 🍂🦃✨

View all 732 comments

lovelyamelie23: She’s so cute but lowkey looks a little sad 😕 maybe she’s missing someone? 👀

ameliefan_98: Did anyone else notice Amelie looked a little off in that pic? 🫣 Hope she's doing okay! 💔 → londofan_22: @ameliefan_98 Maybe she’s just tired from all the rehearsals? Girl’s been slaying on that stage! 💅

swiftie_4life: Amelie in São Paulo and Alex by her side! Always good vibes, love their friendship 💕 → alexandamelie_17: @swiftie_4life They’re literally goals, like they’re ALWAYS together! 🥰

landoloveforever: If anyone deserves a break, it’s Amelie! She's been putting on the most insane performances! 🔥🎤 → ameliefan_98: @landoloveforever Yesss!! Her energy is unmatched!! Just hope she’s taking care of herself! 🌸 → landoloveforever: @ameliefan_98 I think she’s just fine, but she always looks so calm and collected, even if she’s not feeling 100%. She’s a queen 👑

fanfrombrazil: Loving the Eras tour performances, Amelie is SLAYING it!! 💃✨ → swiftie_4life: @fanfrombrazil YESSS, we’re so proud of her!! She’s making Brazil shine even more 🔥💖

f1fanatic_22: Amelie’s still serving looks even when she’s just chilling with her team! Can’t wait to see her performance this weekend 👀✨

[blabbershere]

[niko-octonaut]

[thepersonalwords]

Doubt is the first ray of illumination

Bangambiki Habyarimana, Pearls Of Eternity

[momentsbeforemass]

Blind faith

I got the most backhanded “compliment” from someone the other day.

She told me that she grew up in a non-denominational church. One that’s on its way to becoming a mega-church.

She told me that she doesn’t go much anymore. If ever. She told me why.

After the death of her father, she started struggling with her faith. So she started asking questions. And was basically told to sit down and shut up.

The “compliment?” After finding out that I was a practicing Catholic and an ordained deacon, she said, “I wish I had your blind faith.”

The subtext being (from her experience of church), “you must be an unquestioning idiot to still buy into to all that stuff.”

It’s a toxic view to have about the Faith. One that far too many Christians (of all stripes, including Catholics) are guilty of fostering. One that’s simply not Christian.

But you can’t blame her for seeing things that way. That perspective was taught to her by the people who blew it when they responded to her.

Because asking questions should never get you shut down. Or worse.

Responses like that don’t serve God. Because they don’t come from God. Responses like that come from the Enemy.

God isn’t threatened by our questions. Or our doubts.

How do I know this? Try today’s Gospel, the Annunciation.

Where the angel tells Mary that she will conceive and give birth to a son. And Mary (like any sane person) asks “How’s that gonna work?”

The angel doesn’t shoot back with “How dare you!” Or “Shut up!” Or “Never mind, we’ll find someone who doesn’t ask questions.”

Instead, the messenger of God answers Mary’s question.

It’s okay to ask questions. It’s okay to struggle with the Faith.

Some of the greatest moments of personal and spiritual growth only come through that struggle.

Remember, it’s Baptism. Not brainwashing.

God isn’t threatened by our questions. Or our doubts.

Today’s Readings

[theonevoice]

I don't know if this is working, I don't know...

Meh.

[theoakings]

Just a reminder:

God truly does hear you. He listens to you intently. He has taken account of all your cries. He has a pool of all your tears resting in the palm of His hand.

He will answer your prayers. Even the ones you forgot you prayed about.

Trust me, I know.

[l0verei]

anyone else ever feel like this??

I know I’ve been posting a lot lately but the doubts of this au not working are flooding in a lot ever since I started drawing again, like “what if the story isn’t unique or good enough” “what if the au doesn’t get the attention or recognition” “am I good artist/writer” so- just been kinda hard as it is to get anything done considering that it takes me LITERAL HOURS to create one art piece, bit by bit I’ve been stopping on drawing but I’m trying not to-

I mainly believe it’s because I have a very small community and I compare myself to others a lot, like animators or people who have created AUs and have gotten popularity so fast which weighs it down, I’ll work on it of course when I have the chance but I’m starting to think it takes time to form your own community on aus so- just trying to boost my mood right now

[doodle below in case no one sees it]

Just adding a small doodle of my au with Shadowpeach at the bottom to make this sound less saddening

[wiirocku]

Psalm 94:19 (NLT) - When doubts filled my mind, Your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.

[tenaciouspoetworks]

This constant disappointment towards myself for not doing more.