#Effortless radiance

[candylandphotos]

Young beauty model natural organic makeup fresh skincare eyeshadow makeup shimmer

"Radiant Youth Redefined: Embracing Natural Organic Makeup, Fresh Skincare, and Shimmering Eyeshadow Elegance ✨🌿"

[alltimefail-sims]

I'm going to take a little break from CAS (because I miss building), but not before I scream about Grace freaking Anansi. WHY is simblr sleeping on this Realm of Magic townie?!?

[paddockbunny]

Perfect Storm

Summary : Simple. You x Daniel x a perfectly timed thunderstorm Rating : 18+ Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x Reader Word Count : 4,186 ONE SHOT!! Trigger Warnings : NSFW! 18+, language, oral (female recieving), this is basically romantic porn so there’s that Images : curated from Pintrest Authors Note : I thought I had already posted this 🙈 I’ve briefly checked over it but it might be a tiny bit raw (formatting inc.) in places so please be kind.

The glow emitting from the campfire illuminated both of their faces with a warm, golden radiance as each others features toyed by shadow and light. A smirk, a flash of pearlescent teeth or a swift side glance all heightened by the flaming, flickering embers.

In that moment, as you observed Daniel raise his glass of deep crimson red wine to his lips, it dawned on you that you couldn’t remember a time you had felt so relaxed with a guy before. There wasn’t an ex you felt so utterly comfortable with that you completely let your guard down and were able to sit without make-up, with your hair undone in one of their borrowed shirts. It had only been a few months - three in total - and yet here you were in Perth on Daniel’s farm, sitting by the fire he built to keep you warm, feeling the most utterly, blissfully comfortable you had ever felt while alone with a man in your entire life. And you couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you thought about it.

“What’s got you grinning like that?” Daniel questioned upon lowering his glass and seeing you practically beaming ear to ear from your own contentment. You shrugged - not wanting to embarrass yourself by actually putting words to what you were feeling.

“C’mon…” Daniel lulled, wanting to tease it out of you. “Tell me.” His big, syrupy brown eyes bore down into your own. They were so seductive and alluring you had to remind yourself to stay strong and resilient to them. You playfully shook your head back and forth coquettishly as Daniel angled his body toward you. He thought he was sly as he placed his wine glass down on the ground but you saw him. A smirk now danced playfully upon his own mouth and it took everything you had not to sigh at the possibility of what was to come.

“Babe, c’mon….” He purred whilst leaving his own Adirondack chair that was only a few feet to your left side. With unflinching ease Daniel slipped down on to his knees and crossed the ground to you. All without breaking his intense stare. His movements were effortless. Cat like. It was as if he had rehearsed the moment a million times before. He was that smooth with it. “You’re going to get all dirty.” The words slipped past your lips with more shakiness than you intended. Daniel’s hands trailed up your bare shins and without missing a beat you swallowed.

“I’m ok with that.” Came his response and a quick, barely audible gasp fled from your mouth. You had spent most of this trip - most of the past three months in fact - naked and enjoying each others bodies. The sex was so often and frequent in fact that you thought if it were with anyone else it would have become boring and repetitive by now. But with Daniel, well, he never failed to surprise and excite you. The thought lingered in your head as his tanned hands with nimble, long fingers tracked up to your thighs causing you to swallow again. Now he was facing away from the fire his eyes looked even deeper, darker. They flickered from chocolate umbers to smokey cedar and they were hungry, full of desire. Your eyes finally broke from Daniel’s to where his hands sat upon your thighs. Your stomach flipped at how big they were as they sat upon your bare flesh. His fingertips started circling - just like how they did when you were naked and they were between your legs, driving you into ecstasy - and you could have swore you felt wet tingles all across your exposed skin.

And just as the feeling of Daniel’s beard brushed against your knee you realised the tingling wasn’t tingling at all, it was rain and as a deafeningly loud roar of thunder rumbled through the sky the heavens above opened. In seconds sheets of water cascaded down upon the pair of you like a violent waterfall. The torrent of cold water hammered down hard across everything in sight and Daniel arose to his feet, holding out his hand to you as deluge soaked through the clothes that the pair of you had on. Slipping your hand into his he pulled you swiftly up and now, as you stood, the pair of you took off running toward the house. Reaching it only just in time as another magnificent bellow reverberated across the land while bright flashes of light sparked through the sky. Daniel closed the sliding door to the abode just in time as the water already started pooling on the patio slabs that the both of you had only moments before dashed across. Now, with the sound of the hard lashing rain hushed, the sound of heavy breathing reverberated throughout the room.

Daniel stood sodden in front of you. His t-shirt clinging tightly to his body. The slick wet fabric helping to define all of his impressive taught muscles. God, how lucky you were. He turned and caught you admiring him. Droplets tumbled from his curls, falling upon his cheekbones, across his nose, and the way he was drinking you in made you realise your own drenched state. You had been in nothing but one of his old white t-shirts. And had nothing on underneath bar a pair of little white panties. Daniel’s Adam’s Apple bobbed and the fire he had outside reignited. His t-shirt, which was now glued to your saturated skin, hugged and clung to all of your curves. It practically emphasised your boobs and hips - not that it mattered as the pale fabric had by now turned transparent. Daniel attempted to hide his smugness as you dripped onto his floors.

“Fuck….” He muttered under his breath. Another low, groaning roll of monstrous thunder drummed over the house but by the time it had finished, Daniel has closed the gap between the pair of you and had his mouth on yours with feverish intensity. You melted into him. His heat flowed through the wet clothes between your bodies and mixed with yours. Lightening struck and lit the room in dazzling light once again. The electrically charged air paled in comparison to what flowed between the pair of you and as cold as the rain had made you, your internal heat arose so high it felt like you were being kissed by fire.

Daniel’s hands pushed your wet hair back and groaned deeply into your open mouth as he kissed you. You felt the need for him burn inside of you. There was nothing else you could think of. You were desperate for him and as you felt the slip of his hand to your neck and he used your slightly helpless situation to begin to push you toward the bedroom. You gave into him completely willingly. With his arms wrapped around your body and lips locked with his it was really no wonder he couldn’t find the hallway that lead to the master bedroom. Your back pressed into the wall beside the hallway opening. His hands travelled down to your thighs, running his big wide palms over your butt. Grabbing it harshly enough for a whimpering yelp to slip up your throat. Though it was not wasted upon him as it travelled into his mouth. He knew what you liked. In the three months you had been together he had learned everything about you - especially what made you come undone for him. With another long drone furling through the sky a series of blinding bolts lit it up. Not one to miss a moment, Daniel pulled from you and his eyes stared somewhere impossibly deep in your soul.

“I love you.”

It wasn’t what you were expecting and it truly stole the air right out of your lungs. It was the first time he had said it and with another wave of thunder you realised it matched how your heart was now battering against your ribcage. You hadn’t just heard his words, you were feeling them and you knew they were true because you felt them too. “I love you too.”

Hungrily, Daniel’s lips came back to yours and although you could feel how desperate he still was (you could feel it against your hip) the kiss was now more tender, softer and it felt like he was making sure you knew he loved you, you hadn’t just heard him say it. Your fingers slipped down his wet t-shirt and tried to start pulling it up. Unsurprisingly, it was stuck to his skin so it was too hard for you to try to do it alone. Daniel smirked against your lips as he pulled back to help you. It was an action that had both of you smiling and laughing behaving like two unskilled teenagers doing it for the first time. As the t-shirt began to furl up around his thick neck your hands ran up his damp flesh. The tip of your fingers dipped in and out of the grooves of his muscular taught abs. Solid and yet still soft you ran up the centre of them to his chest - the small smattering of hair that gathered upon his chest tickling your fingertips. Daniel shivered and laughed.

“Your hands are cold.” He said and you smiled at his jesting tone. Even in the most passionate moments Daniel still joked with you - and you loved it because you relaxed and stayed out of your own head. You burst out laughing even louder when the t-shirt got stuck on his head and he couldn’t get it off. It made you leap into action and you reached forward - standing on your tip toes - to help. Once the top was off Daniel immediately went for the hem of yours and you pretended to pull away. “Oh that’s how you wanna play?” He joked, his eyebrows going up and he feigned shock. But as the rain pelted down on the roof even harder than before - which distracted the man who just told you he loved you - you took off down the corridor in a pretend jog. Daniel’s laugh echoed around the entire house and it reverberated off the corridor walls as he followed after you.

A chill ran through your body as you turned and went into the master bedroom. The slippy floor turned into carpet below your bare feet - your sandals kicked off back in the hall - and you could feel the droplets of water roll down your long tanned legs. You didn’t have time to think about what to do next, if you wanted to pretend to hide or try take Daniel’s t-shirt off your body yourself, because Daniel was already behind you. His warm body pressing against your cool back. His arms engulfing you from behind. You melted into him as his name tumbled from you. The flip of your stomach as he reached down and started pulling up the hem of his oversized t-shirt had your mind swirling. It was swirling so much in fact that you felt love drunk from him and your head fell back on to his shoulder so you could drink it in. Daniel sighed as he started pulling the damp fabric up, up and up till suddenly all you needed to do was raise your arms for him.

His hands wrapped around your now bare waist and rested on your stomach as his beard lightly scratched at the skin of your shoulder before he kissed it. And then he continued to kiss it, over and over and then trail up your neck before you turned to face him. “Daniel….” You sighed, feeling so utterly wrapped up in him, and another shock of lightening brightly lit up the room. Desire and want filled his eyes and you knew your own would be a mirror image.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” His hand trailed down the side of your cheek and if your heart wasn’t visibly leaping out of your chest before it was certainly doing it now. He used his position to pull your lips back to his and move you toward the big plush bed that was right beside the pair of you.

Still embraced in his arms, his mouth on yours, tongues playfully dancing with each others, he pushed you gently back on to the cloud like duvet. An expectant moan came rolling from your lips and you knew how much Daniel loved hearing every little noise he could pull from you. So he was grinning when he pulled you up the bed and a squeal leapt from you. There was something about his strength that completely turned you on. He would easily and effortlessly turn, twist and flip you in bed. He was far more skilled than any man that you had ever been with and he knew the positions that worked for you like the back of his hand. Your teeth grazed his bottom lip as he climbed on top of you. Desperation for him was well and truly kicking in. His chest bore down on yours and you felt his muscles tense as your hands ran down his back. He was in control - just how he liked it - but you had learned how to capture little moments of his surrender to you. Daniel took the driving action in his favour and hooked his fingers around the sides of your last piece of clothing. White, barely there panties were painfully slowly peeled from your body. As they travelled down your thighs your breath caught in your throat. You hadn’t realised how turned on you were until suddenly your wet, aching folds were no longer confined beneath fabric.

“Dan…” Your mouth parted and his name fell from it as he parted your thighs and lowered himself down the bed. Your teeth ground together as he lifted you so your thighs rested on his shoulders. And then, just as he has kissed you on your mouth before, Daniel tenderly kissed your folds. You gripped the bedsheets as he did it again and you couldn’t hold back from glancing down at him.

“You’re perfect.” He said as your eyes locked for the briefest of moments. Then, all you could think about was his tongue. Your head rolled back and you gasped. Swift, slick movements had your eyes squeezing shut and mouth falling open. Your breathing turned erratic and you could feel him smiling against your sensitive flesh. But just as you felt yourself falling into the rhythm he was setting he pulled back, stopping. It made your eyes fly open to look at him but he was already manoeuvring up your body.

“Not yet.” His voice muffled as he trailed his lips up your navel. You knew he wanted to draw it out, take his time. He loved it when you would come together. Your blood was rushing so hard around your body you could hear it whoosh in your ears. It was so loud in the moment that Daniel chose to take your nipple into his mouth that it drowned out the loud clamour of the boom in the skies above. The resonant rumble mimicked the hum that Daniel made in pure satisfaction of you begging for him.

Your hands trailed down his back when his lips connected once again to yours in a dizzying, all consuming kiss that left you gasping for air. As your hands fell upon his round ass Daniel took the hint and ground his still clothed self against your core. The feel of his hardness pressing against your folds wasn’t enough. You were growing impatient to feel him inside of you so you did the only thing your position allowed, you bucked yourself against him to gain some more friction and encourage him. It reduced him to deep moans that were like music to your ears.

And thankfully, Daniel took all of your hinting. He pushed down his shorts and underwear and you couldn’t refrain from reaching between your bodies to touch him. His breath shook as your hand closed around him, thumb brushing against his leaking tip and this time it was him that was moaning. Your name cascaded from his parted lips. It set your soul on fire. His hand replaced yours and he trailed the tip of himself up and down your folds, covering himself with your slick wetness that he helped to create. Your fingers entwined through his hair and he pushed inside of you as his lips reattached to yours. He paused for a moment to let you adjust to him but really all you wanted was for him to move. And then when he did the heavens decided it was the perfect moment for loud clang of noise and dazzling white light to fill the room. It was an almost poetic sense of irony that it happened as soon as Daniel found his pace - a familiar slow, steady, ardent one that never failed to have you falling deeper in complete all consuming love for him.

The feeling of him pushing in and withdrawing out, steadily had whimpered sighs bubble up from your throat. Your hand drew down his back from his hair and found their place at the base of his spine. Drawing him into you silently. You loved his wide, broad back and the dip right before his perfectly round ass but what you really loved most was the feeling of his hips as they caressed across yours with each and every stroke. But Daniel didn’t let you get lost in your dirty thoughts. No. Just as he groaned into your mouth he reached down and pulled your thigh up around his waist. He had taken your speechless hint of needing more and acted upon it. An angle favouring him and how he could position himself inside of you.

“Fuck…” He purred against your lips and you felt yourself inadvertently squeeze around him. Your eyes flicked open when he halted his movement and used his strength to pull up from you. “Keep doing that and I’m not going to last long.” Your eyes had flicked open just in time to hear him say that. “Sorry” you whispered in delighted response and found yourself biting your lip to stifle a pleased laughter.

“Oh you find that funny, do you?” His voice was laced with a certain cheeky cockiness. With hands either side of your shoulders he pushed his body up, detaching his chest from yours and simultaneously driving himself even deeper inside of you. An action that had a loud pornographic gasp run from your now parted lips. With furrowed brows you managed to regain enough composure to open your eyes and stare straight into his. Without skipping a single beat, Daniel withdrew and plunged himself straight back in. Eliciting yet another obscene exclamation from you. Pleading for more with use of his name and hands sliding all the way up to his immense neck. This time your teeth plunged into your bottom lip because of the feeling of pure lust raging rampant throughout every inch of your body. And now, in this new position, Daniel continued the motion of his hips. Satisfied that he had both reprimanded you and had so effortlessly almost tipped you right off the edge.

And as Daniel’s own unadulterated moans filled the air - mixing with yours - unable to stop himself from the impending high your body was driving him toward, you used every single ounce of strength you had in you to flip him over. Now underneath you, you were able to see his shocked (yet completely pleasured) expression. Daniel was always in charge when it came to sex and rarely relinquished control. You knew you would always have to take it if you really wanted it and tonight - after he told you he loved you for the very first time - something clicked inside of you. You didn’t want him to do all the work as usual. You wanted to make sure he knew how his words earlier had affected you and how you desperately wanted to show him. “Baby…” Was the only word that flowed from his lips. Any thought of protestation abandoned as you sunk down on him. Taking him to the hilt. It took you a second or two to adjust but his breathy, pleasured sigh was like heaven to you. You watched as his eyes rolled back when you rolled your hips and placed your hands flat against the flesh of his chest to steady yourself. You had ridden him before but it was a rarity considering his love for playing the man in the bedroom.

Seconds turned to minutes as your new position on top of him was welcomed. He loved being able to touch you, grab at your chest and grip your thighs so hard you were certain his fingertips would leave marks. You felt confident enough to lean back, your hand finding his knee so his throbbing girth angled right against your most sensitive of spots. Daniel wasted absolutely no time abusing your position and his thumb found your bundle of nerves that had been desperate for his attention. He continued for only a few moments till you were almost a whimpering mess and he was ready to regain a small portion of control. He sat up. Grabbing you and holding you flush against his body. His cock repeatedly hitting the spongy spot inside of you.

“Does that feel good?” He whispered against your mouth, his tongue momentarily swiping at your bottom lip. You couldn’t speak. The feeling of sheer utter euphoria was hurriedly rushing toward you like a tsunami. He pushed up as he guided you back down. And repeated the action again, and again, and again.

“I love you…” He repeated his earlier words and the mix of your orgasmic high muddled with the high of your man telling you the most important words he could say to you. With a tender hand placed against your cheek, holding you, gripping you, you just about heard Daniel tell - no command - you to let go. And you did. Succumbing to the intensity of the orgasm that ripped throughout your entire body. The electricity that sparked in the skies above you now ignited all across your body and truly you could have been forgiven for spacing out and letting wave after intense wave ripple through your body. Daniel slowly but steadily continued the movements that had driven you there and you could feel him come undone himself. His muscles tensed, his stomach tightened. His fingers squeezed you harder and the moans got louder.

Just as he had done mere moments before, you repeated his words to him; “I love you” as his own orgasm struck him. The milky liquid flowed from him and filled you up. His body tensed and trembled under your touch.

“Fuck…” The profanity escaped you as you tried to regain control of your breathing. Nothing felt better than this, no one felt better than he did. It would never be so intense and powerful as it was with Daniel, of that you were one hundred percent sure. Your forehead pressed against his as he twitched inside of you a few more times. Making sure to give you every last drop of himself. And then finally his breathing slowed and his lips found yours once more.

“That…” He couldn’t find words, and your mind had all but gone blank. He kissed you again before you pulled back and opened your eyes - your bodies still connected together - you wanted him to hear you properly this time. As for the first time you wanted to say it first.

“I love you.” His hands pushed your still damp hair back and he didn’t need to say it back. He had told you first and he had shown your body he truly meant the three little words. You knew, he knew you meant it and it wasn’t just a quick response. A smile danced across his lips and you couldn’t help but mirror it.

And although no more words were exchanged as he pulled out of you, gently flipped you over to lie on your back and proceeded to take care of you, cleaning you up, you found yourself drinking in the moment. It dawned on you that the storm had faded outside and the hammering of rain had ceased. As you realised you had never before been so thankful for a terrible sudden tempest, a smile grew across your contented face.

“What are you smiling at” Daniel rejoined you in bed, his hand gliding across your stomach as he pulled you into him. It was practically word for word what he had said an hour earlier, before the rain began and just as before you coquettishly shook your head from side to side.

“I’ll find out y’know,” he paused and glanced down at you smirking and you felt like your heart was singing “I always do.”

[flickering-chandelier]

Will It Patch Your Broken Wings?

Pairing: Azriel x Reader 

Summary: Azriel is feeling insecure one night and cheats on Reader. She is absolutely devastated and wants nothing to do with him, but he is determined to show her how much he loves her. 

Inspired by the love triangle in Taylor Swift’s betty/august/cardigan

Based on this request! 🩷

Warnings: angst, cheating, swearing

Word Count: 6.3k

Betty, I know where it all went wrong

Your favorite song was playing

From the far side of the gym

I was nowhere to be found

I hate the crowds, you know that

Plus, I saw you dance with him

Azriel tucked his wing in tighter as you led him through Rita’s, your hand in his, a bounce in your step. You loved it here: the energy, the dancing, the music. 

Azriel, on the other hand, really only went along because he loved you.

The music was pounding in Azriel’s mind, overwhelming his senses. He could normally block it out and will his body to be loose enough to attempt to dance with you, but today had been a particularly long day in which he had to… secure information from some traitors. 

He didn’t let his memory go past that, not when he was with you. But it had been a day. A terrible day. 

You were dancing now, like you were born to do it, like you didn’t care at all who was watching. You turned to him, a bright smile lighting up your face, and he couldn’t help but soften at the sight, feeling comforted by your effortless radiance. 

He would never understand why you had chosen him. He was thankful of course, but he was willing to admit the two of you sometimes seemed like an unlikely pair. You were bright and bubbly, lighting up every room -- a direct juxtaposition to his shadows, his darkness, his tendency to be stoic and silent. 

Watching him stay completely still in the middle of the crowd, your face fell, and you sidled up to him, craning your neck to look him in the eyes as you got closer, wrapping your arms around his waist. “Are you okay? We can go home if you want.”

Azriel smiled faintly at you, dipping his head to give you a quick kiss. “Long day. You can dance. I’m going for a drink.”

You nodded, but still eyed him warily for a moment, gaze lingering on his swirling shadows, before turning back to the dance floor. 

By the time Azriel got his drink (the strongest they had), you were fully engrossed in a song that he realized was one of your favorites. He watched as you writhed on the middle of the dance floor, swaying your hips, a bright smile on your face. 

A male came up to you then, taking your hand and twirling you under his arm. You laughed brightly before moving away from him, dancing on your own once again. 

Azriel couldn’t stop his heart from plummeting. That’s the kind of male she should be with, he thought. The kind that goes to a normal job and comes home without shadows or demons to chase away in his mind. The kind that can dance and twirl and laugh with you without a care in the world. 

He watched as you danced and danced, occasionally dancing with a random male for a moment before moving on.

She deserves better than you. She always has.

His breath was coming faster and faster now, the music pounding in his ears, through his skull, all that heat from so many bodies closing in on him. He had to get out, had to stretch his wings, had to get out.

Azriel shoved through the crowd and burst through the doors, out into the cool night, stretching out his wings and breathing deeply. He cursed himself. He was normally better than this, better at maintaining his emotions, his panic. By the Cauldron, he was the Night Court’s spymaster and he couldn’t handle an evening in a nightclub with his lover. 

Pathetic. That’s what he was.

“Are you okay?” a light, sing-songy voice broke through his rumbling thoughts.

He turned to see a very pretty High Fae woman. She was dressed a bit like Mor, he couldn’t help thinking, wearing a thin red dress that showed off all her assets, her light brown hair cascading down past her shoulders. 

She gave him a look that he hadn’t seen, or at least paid attention to, from a stranger in a very long time. 

He blinked. “Honestly? I don’t think so.”

Her lips slowly curved up into a sultry smile. “Anything I would be able to help you with?”

No. No, you cannot help me. I don't think anybody can.

She watched him, her eyes sparkling with mischief, before she tilted her head for him to follow. 

And Mother save him, he did.

---

And I can see us twisted in bedsheets

August sipped away like a bottle of wine

'Cause you were never mine.

Your heart had been pounding, your body trembling, ever since you realized that Azriel was nowhere to be found. 

Something must have happened to him. It was the only explanation. He wouldn’t just leave you without a word. 

But, what could have possibly happened to the shadowsinger, in Velaris, of all places?

Your hand shook as you raised it to pound on the door of the river house.

Rhysand was the one who answered, shirtless, hair a mess. He looked very unhappy to see you. 

“I need you to find Azriel,” you nearly shouted before he could scold you.

He sobered immediately, noticing your distress. “What do you mean?”

You explained to him what had happened, that he had seemed off at Rita's, that he told you he was going to get a drink, then vanished. You had assumed that he had been lingering on the outskirts of the dance floor, and didn't notice for quite some time that he had left completely.

“I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation,” he said soothingly. “Did you check your apartment?”

You nodded. He wasn't there, at the home he shared with you. “And the townhouse.”

Rhysand's violet eyes were contemplative. Hesitating.

“Can't you just…feel for him or whatever?”

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Yeah. I can.”

“Then do it!”

Rhysand's eyes went unfocused after a beat, and when they widened again in surprise, you knew he had found him.

“What is it? Is he okay?”

“He's… at a random apartment. At least it's not one that I recognize.”

Your heart lurched. “What? Why?”

Rhys shrugged, his expression darkening. “Okay. Shit. Wait here, I'll go tell Feyre what's going on and take you to him.”

Rhysand came back a moment later, now in his normal black attire, and winnowed you in front of an apartment complex not far from Rita's. You had certainly never been here before. The silence was agony as you followed Rhys up the stairs, to the door.

He glanced back at you, a question in his eyes. You shook your head and he knocked, the sound rattling around in your skull.

You heard shuffling, giggling, and then.

Then.

A woman answered the door. A beautiful woman who was wearing Azriel's shirt.

A woman who was wearing your lover’s shirt and nothing else.

Your knees nearly buckled. You tasted bile in your mouth. You were going to be sick.

She cocked her head to the side. “Yes?”

Rhysand was deathly still, his power rippling from him, darkening the doorway. You remained behind him, but you had to know. Had to know for sure.

So you peeked around Rhysand's shoulder, further into the woman's apartment.

And saw Azriel, bare chested, lying in her bed, the sheets bunched up at his waist, his wings drooping on the ground, his hand tucked under his head, staring at the ceiling, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

You barely had time to spin around before you emptied your stomach in the hallway.

---

The worst thing that I ever did 

was what I did to you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Az?” Rhysand's voice boomed from the door the woman had just answered.

Hearing such a familiar voice in such an unfamiliar setting was initially what shocked Azriel enough that he nearly fell out of bed.

Then it hit him.

Rhysand was here. 

No no no no no no--

Azriel scrambled up out of the woman's bed, frantically searching for his pants and tugging them on. 

“I-”

“Don't answer that.” Rhysand spat, and it was then that Azriel realized Rhys was holding you upright as both of you lingered in the doorway.

His heart stopped working. His mind stopped working.

He said your name, but it came out more like a croak.

You were trembling in Rhysand's arms, tears sliding down your cheeks.

What had he done what had he done what had he done--

Azriel took a step forward, but you recoiled, and he knew you would've fallen to the ground if Rhysand hadn't been holding you.

You looked… afraid of him. Not just hurt, not just disgusted, but actually afraid.

He said your name again, his voice and his heart breaking, but you turned to Rhysand and said in the smallest voice he'd ever heard, “Get me away from him.”

Rhysand shot you one last withering glance before he winnowed out of sight, taking you with him.

It was silent for a moment, until the woman said, “If I'd known you were such an asshole, I never would have done this.”

Azriel sank to his knees and wept.

---

You drew stars around my scars

But now I'm bleeding.

Back at the river house, Feyre was holding you as your body continued to shake, silent tears continued to fall, while Rhysand paced back and forth, rage radiating off of him.

“Azriel?” Feyre asked, wide eyed. “Our Azriel?”

“He's certainly not mine anymore,” you sniffed, and Feyre winced, shooting you an apologetic glance, holding you a little tighter.

“I can't believe it,” Rhys said, still pacing in the spare room where they had set you up for the night. “I cannot believe him.”

There was a knock on the door of the house and you froze. You all knew who it was.

You looked at Rhys, your eyes pleading.

“I won't let him in,” he said, his expression softening as he turned to you. “I'll ward the fucking house against him if I have to,” he growled, mostly to himself, as he retreated to send him away.

You leaned further into Feyre, grateful for your friends.

For his friends, you realized. His family.

They were on your side now, but you knew where their allegiance would ultimately lie.

In losing Azriel, you would lose your family, too.

Sobs racked your body then, and Feyre held on tight, settling her cheek on the top of your head. 

You thought of all the walls Azriel had broken down around your heart, all the promises he had made about love and forever. All the broken pieces of you that you had let him see, that he had helped you heal.

But it was all a lie.

You couldn't stop seeing it -- the woman, naked except for his shirt; Azriel, naked in her bed.

You wept and wept until there was absolutely nothing left of you.

---

A friend to all is a friend to none

Chase two girls, lose the one.

Azriel had come to the river house twice a day for the past three days. 

Each time, Rhysand opened the door, molten hot rage in his eyes, and told him to leave, that you weren’t ready yet. Azriel couldn’t blame him.

He knew there was nothing he could do, nothing he could say to make it better. To make you better. He could try to explain what he had been feeling that night, but it wouldn’t matter, not really. It was all excuses, and he knew it. 

Azriel had destroyed everything. And now he just had to watch as his world burned down. 

Letting out a shuddering sigh, he knocked on Rhysand’s door, expecting to see his pissed off brother again, but it was Feyre who appeared.

He had never seen his High Lady look so disappointed. He hated that it was directed at him. 

“How could you do it?” she said, crossing her arms, leaning against the doorway.

Azriel felt tears prickling his eyes, and willed them not to fall. “I never felt like I deserved her,” he said quietly. 

“Well you definitely don’t now.”

He winced. “I know. I just -- I want to see her. How is she?”

Feyre furrowed her brow, furious. “How is she? She hasn’t left her room since she got here. Elain’s been forcing water down her throat so she doesn’t shrivel up and die, that’s how she is.”

Azriel swallowed, trying to steady his shaking hands. He felt like he was drowning. He wished he would, if it meant that it would make you stop feeling like that. “Do you think she’ll talk to me?”

She studied him, her mouth a hard, thin line. Finally, she turned, heading inside and he followed her, his knees wobbling. 

When they made it to your door, she knocked softly, saying through the door, “He’s here.”

Azriel held his breath until the door opened, slowly. 

And when he saw you, he couldn’t breathe. You looked… devastating. Your eyes were red and swollen, you were pale, your hair was a mess. 

It was his fault. He had done this to you. He felt sick.

Your eyes were hollow when you looked at him, like you didn’t feel anything at all. 

“Do you want me to stay?” Feyre asked you quietly.

You shook your head, your eyes darting away from Azriel. Feyre shot him a warning glare before she reluctantly went down the hallway. 

You turned, moving to sit on the bed that looked like it hadn’t been made in days, every movement you made looking wary, exhausted. Destroyed. Your eyes were fixed on your hands in your lap, unwilling to look at him. 

Azriel lingered just inside the room, feeling uncomfortable in his skin. He longed to hold you in his arms, to kiss your pain away. 

He said your name, willing you to look at him. You flinched. 

It felt like a punch to the gut. Azriel wanted the earth to swallow him whole.

“I am so, so sorry,” he rasped.

You shook your head, not looking up. “How could you do this, Az? How could you do this to me?” Your voice cracked when you said his name. 

Tears started to fall down his own cheeks as he said, “I… don’t know. I wasn’t thinking. I saw you dancing with those males, looking so carefree, and I didn’t feel like I fit into that part of your life. I’ve always felt like you deserved someone better than me, someone… easier.”

Finally, you looked up at him, and he wished you hadn’t. Your eyes were full of fury. And hurt. He had never seen you like that before. “You cheated on me because I danced with some guys for two seconds?”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Azriel tried. 

“You think I wanted somebody like them? Somebody easier?”

Azriel opened his mouth, then closed it again. “I thought--”

“I wanted you,” you spat, and he recoiled at the hurt in your voice, at the pain in your eyes that he had put there. “All I ever wanted was you.”

He couldn't breathe. His voice came out weaker than he had ever heard it, “I'm sorry. It was a mistake, I'm a miserable, miserable fool. I want you. You're all I want.”

You laughed, but it was a hollow, bitter sound. “How can you even say that after what you did?”

“I know, you’re right,” he sighed, raking a scarred hand through his hair, his shadows dancing around his arms. “It doesn’t make sense, what I did. It was stupid and awful, and the worst thing that I’ve ever done, and I am so so sorry,” he said, taking a step forward, reaching his hand out to take yours. 

“Don’t touch me,” you spat, wrenching your hand away.

He blinked, taking a step back, his heart in his throat. 

“You said you loved me,” you said, your voice now barely a whisper, as if all your energy had been completely drained. “You said you wanted to be with me forever. Did you ever mean any of it?”

“Of course I did,” he said softly. “I still do. I love you. I want you.”

You sniffed, putting your head in your hands. “Well. You should’ve thought of that before you fucked her.”

He blanched at your tone, at your language. He didn’t think you’d ever said that word before, at least not around him.

“Please,” he said, his voice breaking, as he knelt down in front of you, trying to meet your eyes. “Please, what can I do? What can I do to fix this?”

Your eyes rose to meet his. You took in the sight, the shadowsinger kneeling before you, begging for your forgiveness. “You can’t fix it,” you said, seething. “You left me. You abandoned me at Rita’s. Do you have any idea how that felt? I thought something horrible had happened to you!”

Azriel tightened his jaw. He hadn’t known, hadn’t even thought about--

“And then to see you. With her. In her bed,” you broke off, looking at the ceiling, trying to keep the tears from falling, he knew.

“I’m sorry.” It was all he could say. His tears were flowing down his cheeks now and he hastily wiped them away, not wanting to take his eyes off you for fear that you would vanish.

After a long moment, you leveled your gaze on him again. “Would you have told me? If I wasn’t worried sick, if I had just gone home, and waited for you to stumble on in, would you have told me? Or would you just keep acting like everything was fine, knowing that you had just betrayed me?”

Azriel swallowed hard. He thought about the guilt he had felt immediately, how he was contemplating what the hell he was going to tell you as he was staring at that ceiling before Rhysand had knocked. “I would’ve told you,” he said, his voice husky. “I was going to tell you.”

You scoffed, shaking your head, looking anywhere but him. “I don’t even know why I asked. How can I trust anything you say?”

“I don’t know. But it’s true,” he said, shifting on his knees, wishing he could reach for your hand. 

Hiding your face in your hands, you said, barely audibly, “I hate you. I hate you for doing this to me and making me feel like this.”

Azriel’s heart finally shattered completely. He knew he would never be able to put the pieces back together, as long as he lived. He had done this to you, his beautiful, bubbly, happy love. Reduced to this. To hating him. And he couldn’t even blame you. 

“I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice barely above a whisper. “I love you.”

“Stop saying that,” you cried. 

“It’s true. It’s all I’ve got. I won’t try to make excuses, I’m just … I’m sorry. And I love you. I’ll never stop loving you.”

You sniffled, and took your hands away from your face, looking to the ceiling once again, like you were steeling yourself to say what you were about to. “I never want to see you again,” you said, weakly. “You can have the apartment. Elain and Nesta are packing my things right now.”

Azriel shook his head, his panic rising, “No, no, you don’t have to--”

“I do,” you cut him off. “It’s done, Az. We’re done,” you rose off the bed and went to the washroom, looking unsteady on your feet. “You can go now.”

You shut yourself in behind the closed door, and it was five hundred years of will and training that carried his legs out of the river house, and out of your life forever.

Azriel took to the sky, flying and flying, the wind biting at his skin, at his eyes. He kept picturing your heartbroken expression, the words you spoke to him.

He didn't stop flying until he made it to the depths of the Illyrian mountains, where he knew he would be well and truly alone.

Spotting a flat section nestled between several mountains, he landed in the snow, barely stopping long enough to punch the mountainside. It was stupid, he knew, he was more likely to break his hand than blow off any of this steam, but he had to do something to stop this pain, this panic, this despair that he could blame on nobody but himself.

He had lost you. He had lost the love of his life forever because he couldn't overcome his fears. He had been so scared that he wasn't good enough for you that he made sure that it was true.

Grunting, he punched the mountainside over and over again until his knuckles bled, and then he punched it some more. Tears froze on his cheeks, the wind chilling him to the bone.

Az was dimly aware of someone landing behind him, so hard it shook the ground beneath his feet. He kept punching.

“You're not going to solve your problems out here,” Cassian called to him.

Finally, Azriel halted, turning around to face his brother. “You know, we have better things to punch,” Cassian added.

Azriel scowled, sinking into the snow, exhausted.

Cassian strode over to him, plopping down a few feet away, hissing at the cold now sleeping through his pants. He studied Azriel, seemingly waiting for him to speak.

“She hates me,” Azriel whispered finally. “She said she never wants to see me again.”

Cassian sucked a breath in through his teeth. “Fuck.”

Azriel could only nod sadly.

“You know she didn't mean it. At least not the second part. She loves you.”

Sniffing, wiping at his eyes, Azriel groaned. “I don't know if she does anymore.”

“She does,” Cassian said quietly. “I know she does.”

After a beat of silence, Cassian asked, “What are you going to do?”

Azriel shrugged, watching his bloody hands start to heal. “Well. I could either hang around, keep apologizing, and piss her off more, or… leave her alone…”

“And piss her off more,” Cassian added.

A dry laugh escaped Azriel. “Exactly.”

Cassian was quiet for a moment, seemingly pondering how to help him.

“I’m not giving up on her,” Azriel finally said, with more conviction than he felt. “I just… I don't want to make it worse.”

“Az, I hate to tell you this, but I don't think it could get much worse,” Cassian said, grimacing.

Azriel just sighed, stretching out his wings behind him.

---

I knew I'd curse you for the longest time

Chasing shadows in the grocery line.

Seeing Azriel again, seeing him beg on his knees for your forgiveness, seeing how hollow his eyes looked, how his shadows were so unrelenting around him, had absolutely wrecked you. 

It was another few days until you had the courage to leave the river house at all. 

Azriel had come back to the river house several times, but you had your friends send him away. You couldn’t bear to see him again. 

Feyre and Rhysand had checked on you frequently during your stay at their house, consoling you, cursing Azriel’s name right along with you. Rhys had even loaned you what you needed to get your own apartment, on the other side of Velaris from the one that you once shared with Azriel.

That part seemed to make it final, somehow. You could almost convince yourself it had all been a dream until you made your way to your new, empty apartment, without a trace of the love that used to be yours. 

That empty apartment wrecked you all over again, and as you looked around it for the first time, your body folded in half, arms wrapping around your stomach as your body racked with sobs. 

You had started to regret insisting that you do this part by yourself. 

It was really over. Azriel really cheated on you and it was really done. 

You knew it was time to start distancing yourself from Azriel’s family. They had undoubtedly been on your side this whole time, but even Rhysand and Feyre were starting to change their tune slightly. You know he loves you still. You know he’s a good male. You know he’s so sorry.

You understood where they were coming from, really, you did. 

But that didn’t make it hurt less. What you needed was to hate him. It was the only way you could ever bring yourself to move on, to start living your life again.

You had been solemnly unpacking for a few hours when there was a knock on your door. You stiffened immediately. Rhysand and Feyre had said that they wouldn’t tell Azriel where you lived, but maybe he had figured it out?

“Relax sweetheart, it’s me,” Cassian said on the other side of the door, and you did relax, if only slightly. You hadn’t seen him since before this all started.

Reluctantly you let him in. He was sauntering, wearing that easy smirk he always donned. You couldn’t decide if it was comforting or annoying. 

Cassian whistled as he looked around. “Nice place.”

You settled on the couch, tucking your feet underneath you. “What are you doing here?”

His eyes softened as he walked closer to you, then perched next to you on the couch, not quite relaxed. “I wanted to check on you.”

“You can report back to Azriel that I’m just as pissed as ever,” you grumbled. 

“He doesn’t know I’m here,” Cassian said quietly. 

Skeptically, you turned to face him. You were sure he would be the most likely to take Azriel’s side. 

After a moment, Cassian said, “If it’s any consolation, he hates himself probably about as much as you hate him right now.”

“I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse,” you admitted.

Cassian sighed, leaning back into the couch. “Did you mean it? That you never wanted to see him again?”

You shifted, hugging your knees to your chest. “In the moment I did. Thinking about seeing him now… it breaks me apart. But, thinking about the rest of my life completely without him…”

“That breaks you apart too?” Cassian offered.

You nodded, tears stinging your eyes.

“Okay, look,” Cassian said, turning so he fully faced you. “I’m going to tell you something. You’re my friend and he’s my brother, and I love you both, so I need you to know I’m not trying to convince you of anything, I am merely giving you information. Okay?”

“O-kay…”

He took a deep breath, seemingly gathering his thoughts, before he continued. “Azriel has always felt like he was inferior. The way he was raised… he carries that around more than a lot of people think. He often thinks that he isn’t good enough for people, but especially you.”

“How do you know?” You knew that Az still dealt with a lot from his childhood, but he wouldn’t often voice those things to you. He had mentioned something about not feeling good enough when you saw him, but you weren’t sure what to make of it.

“He mentioned it to me a few times, that he didn’t feel like he was the kind of person you should be with. You’re so bright and bubbly, he felt like you deserved somebody who was the same.”

You rested your cheek on your knee, trying to digest the information. “But… he must have known I never actually felt like that, right?”

Cassian shrugged. “On a good day, maybe. But deep down I think he always had it in the back of his mind: that fear that he wasn’t right for you.”

“He should’ve told me,” you said quietly.

“I agree. And I’m not saying that it excuses what he did, but that day…it was a hard one for him. What he had to do in the Court of Nightmares.”

Your stomach dropped. You hadn’t even thought about that. 

“Well, he should’ve told me that too.”

Cassian nodded. “Yes. He should have.”

You groaned. “I hate this.”

“I know,” he said quietly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him. “I’m sorry.”

Cassian let you cry on his chest for a long moment before he said, “hH wants to come see you, you know. He doesn't want to give up on you.”

When you didn't respond, he said softly, “Just think about it.”

Days later, all that Cassian had said was still ringing in your ears, even as you walked through the market when it was the busiest.

Despite everything, it hurt your heart to think that Azriel had ever felt like he wasn't enough for you. And you were still so hurt at what he had done and what you had seen, but it at least made more sense now.

You hated this feeling of loneliness that followed you around wherever you went now, rooted so deeply in you that you were scared it would never go away.

Azriel had been so good to you for so long. Was one mistake really worth throwing everything away?

Every time you had the thought though, you remembered the sight of him in her bed and wanted to scream or cry or kick something.

Suddenly, as you were nearing the edge of the market, you swore you saw the wisp of a curling shadow out of the corner of your eye and stiffened. This hadn't been the first time that you thought you glimpsed Azriel's shadows or wings in public since it happened.

But, no this time it was real. And he saw you too.

You willed your feet to move, but they wouldn't. You couldn't tear your eyes away from him, from this man who had loved and hurt you so completely.

Azriel approached you like you were an injured animal he was trying not to scare away. Your heart thundered in your chest.

“Hi,” he said in what you knew was his gentlest voice.

You couldn't bring yourself to speak. Still, after everything, you missed him. And seeing him now… it was too much to bear. Yet, too much to walk away.

“I'm sorry,” he said softly, his eyes swimming with pain and affection. His shadows were on full display, despite the fact that they usually shied away from the sun. 

“You've already said that,” you murmured, still rooted to the spot.

“I know. And I'll keep saying it every chance I get. If I knew where you lived, I'd send you flowers or a book or dinner from that restaurant you love every day and I'd tell you I'm sorry and that I love you.” His voice was shaky in a way you had never heard from the shadowsinger.

“You would not,” you said, trying to sound angry but it just came out weak.

“Of course I would,” he said, risking a step closer to you. “I would do anything to take your pain away. You have to believe that.” 

You did. You did believe that he meant it. But you didn't know if it would be enough.

For a moment you let yourself gaze at the man you once trusted with your whole heart. He looked thinner, like he hadn't been eating enough. His eyes were still hollow, dark bags beneath them. Even his wings drooped slightly. He might look even worse than you did.

And yet, you could still see the beautiful, sweet shadowsinger you had fallen in love with so long ago.

Finally you said quietly, “I'll tell Rhys he can give you my address.”

Those hazel eyes sparked with hope. And love. Definitely love.

---

The only thing I wanna do

Is make it up to you.

When you went out the next morning, there was a book left at your doorstep with a note attached.

It was the newest from one of your favorite authors. Your lips formed the tiniest smile.

The note read:

I couldn't start my groveling with something too cliche, so I went straight for your romance novels.

I've never told you this, but I always love when you tell me about the books you’re reading. Your entire face lights up when you do. And you know I love a fairytale ending.

I hope you have a good day today.

I'm so sorry for what I did. I'm so sorry for hurting you.

I love you so much. I always will.

-Az

You couldn't help but laugh a little by the time you got to the end. As if anybody else would be writing you this note.

The next morning when you stepped out your door, there was a pastry from your favorite cafe in a to-go bag. On the bag was a note:

I'm really hoping you'll find this in the morning so it's still good.

If not, you just come let me know and I'll drop everything to get you a fresh one. 

I miss you.

My life is a nightmare without you.

I'm so sorry.

I love you.

-Az

And so it went. Every morning, rain or shine, Azriel would leave something that he knew you would love, with a note, always ending in some version of I'm sorry. I love you.

It did warm your heart that had turned so cold. The dedication alone was enough to prove to you that he really was sorry for what he did.

Yet, every time a note would make you laugh or cry so much that you wanted to run to his arms, you were always stopped by that image that plagued your mind. By the fact that he did what he did and no amount of little gifts would change it.

Months passed, and to Azriel's credit, the gifts, and more importantly the notes, kept coming. Your bedside drawer was completely full of them. And there may have been a night or two when you missed him so desperately that you would read them over and over again until your eyes burned and you had no choice but to cry yourself to sleep.

You would sometimes lay awake at night, picturing him coming up to your door. Several times you wanted to wait up for him, to listen for his footsteps, to pull him into your apartment, forget everything that happened and just be happy again.

But you never had the nerve. You were terrified of going through it all again.

Until one day, there was no gift at your door. No note. No sign of him anywhere.

Your heart plummeted. Had something happened to him? Was he hurt? Injured on some mission Rhysand sent him on?

Or had he finally given up on you?

It wasn't until that moment that you were willing to admit to yourself how much you had been relying on those notes, those little pieces of him.

You went through your day in a daze, devastated all over again.

It was early in the evening when there was a knock on your door. For a moment, you hoped it would be Azriel. You hadn't actually seen him for months. But you quickly realized it was more likely to be one of your friends, who still came by, despite what you had initially thought.

So, the breath was knocked completely out of you when it was indeed the shadowsinger waiting on the other side of the door. 

His handsome face, his soft expression, on his face made you want to weep. You missed him so much.

Azriel smiled somewhat shyly as he gazed down at you, holding a paper bag in his hand. “I'm sorry it's late. Rhys has got me scouting out some things, and I didn't get back here until now. I brought dinner,” he said, holding it out to you.

You recognized it from your favorite restaurant. With shaking hands, you took it from him, spotting the note attached to the outside.

I'm sorry. I love you.

I'm sorry. I love you.

I'm sorry. I love you.

Over and over again it was repeated, taking up the entire paper. You placed it on a table inside before your gaze flicked back to him. He was watching you closely, his wings tucked in tightly behind him. 

“I thought you gave up on me,” you whispered.

His timid smile fell. “Never,” he said softly. “I'll never give up on you. I love you so much.”

Tears brimmed your eyes and all of a sudden, you knew you couldn't take it anymore. You didn't want to hate him, you didn't want to dwell on the one awful thing that he had done. You had a drawer full of wonderful things that he had done.

“I love you, too,” you murmured, the tears spilling freely down your cheeks now.

A sound that sounded distinctly like a sob escaped Azriel, and he wrapped his arms around you, crushing you into his chest. “I never thought I'd hear you say that again,” he sniffed, his hand cupping the back of your head, kissing your temple.

After a long moment, he took your face in his hands, gazing at you for a moment before he slowly kissed your tears away. You laughed lightly and he smiled, leaning in to kiss you so softly, like he was afraid you would break.

“I love you,” he murmured against your mouth. “I love you so much.”

You pulled back long enough to gently brush his tears away. “No more secrets. If you're struggling with something, you need to tell me.”

“I know. I'm sorry. No more secrets.”

“And nobody else. Ever.”

He winced. “I'm so sorry, love.”

“I know you are,” you said softly, cupping his cheek in your hand.

“Thank you,” he murmured. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

You rose to your tiptoes to kiss him, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

At last, you had found your way back home.

A/N: Want to see Azriel pay for his crimes instead? Go read the alternate angsty ending here!

[spaghettiposts]

To be loved

Tara Carpenter x Reader

Summery: You’ve never known love, until Tara.

Warnings: Fluff, lovey dovey words, mentions of Ghostface attacks, fluff fluff fluff, wlw, neglectful parents, hurt/comfort.

Word count: 2.1k

A/n: This was just a bunch of word-vomit I came up with in the spam of 3 days, reader definitely has been neglected but Tara’s here to fix that <3

You’d say love was one of the things you missed most, a missing puzzle piece to your emotions. Absent parents tended to do that being busy with work and all, love only feeling like a distant concept because of it. Sure, you knew they cared for you—deep down somewhere, but not enough to take a day off. The more you thought about it, the more that nagging voice in your head mocked you; not once did they take a day off. 

There were fleeting moments of jealousy you felt, gazing desperately—longingly—at your friends and their mothers, wishing for just a fraction of that affection. The ache of longing never quite left, as you watched them being cared for, held close, and repeating the same wishful thinking. You never truly got to experience that, but swiftly pushed those feelings aside, burying them.

 By high school, you became pretty good at patching up your own wounds and learning to live on your own. Maybe that was for the best.

You learned to rely on yourself. 

That was until college, Blackmore University. A relatively close college to your house, the commute was doable and hey, you actually liked some of the classes. Your parents had encouraged you to attend first, explaining how getting a degree in engineering would really help you take over their business someday.

You hesitated to tell them that wasn’t what you wanted. Not if it meant having to put work before others, you didn’t wanna be like them. 

Still, you went along with it, taking the classes they suggested. Amidst the sea of blueprints,  you had picked up an appreciation of the art of film. Deciding to take a class for yourself, you signed up for Film History. Later, it was the best decision you ever made. 

And the first time you met Tara Carpenter. 

She was undoubtedly beautiful, anyone with eyes could see, but it was the radiance surrounding her that truly mesmerized you. Indisputably, you folded like a table. The effortless confidence she emitted during class discussions, the stubborn fire inside her, and her unabashed passion for something as simple as filmmaking—it seemed like the whole world to her. 

It only took a group project for her number to end up in your phone, and it only took a party for her to slam her lips against your own.  

With her, you found a happiness previously unknown to you. Every moment turned into the highlight of your week,  you were absolutely head over heels for your girlfriend. From tender first dates ending in soft slow kisses on her doorstep, to the cozy movie nights leaving your lips swollen and your cheeks flushed, and between those; gentle moments of care. They blossomed a newfound sense of joy in you, and in Tara. 

Day after day you effortlessly fell into new habits, soaking up every second of them. You learned Tara loved to smile between kisses, while she, in turn, learned you enjoyed the feeling of your hair being toyed with. It was all just perfect. 

However, as time went on, you couldn’t shake the feeling of Tara drifting away. Her sudden coldness left you stunned and hurt. The more you tried to talk, the more she pushed you away. But you weren’t one to back down so easily, confronting her in her apartment one last time, seeking some closure. 

 It only took a month for Tara to be honest with you, and fearfully so. Through shedded tears and shaking hands, she explained to you, and you listened. It hurt you to see her hurting, expressing vulnerability she hadn’t allowed you to see. Her arms came up to hug herself and you’d never wanted to punch Ghostface more. 

Tara half expected you to walk away, laugh at her, and leave her like the rest of them but you made it clear you weren’t leaving. You spent the entire afternoon by her side, determined to prove her wrong and keep her safe, whispering murmurs of promises between kisses. Holding her close until tears subsided and drifted off to sleep, thoroughly exhausted from it all, peacefully in your arms. 

Following her confession, it felt as if a weight had been lifted off Tara’s shoulders and your relationship picked up from where it stopped. Your bond with the shorter girl only grew stronger, surpassing previous boundaries as you both delved into a deeper understanding of one another. Tara clung to you, unwilling to let you slip away, and gradually, you found yourself spending more nights at her place than your own. And truth be told, you didn’t mind that one bit. 

As much as you wished everything could continue perfectly, a coward in a mask would only try to ruin it all. 

——

It had been a week since the latest run-in with Ghostface, A week since your left arm got slashed up. Tara was absolutely livid, and you wondered if her anger was directed more at the attacker or at you. Either way she let Chad hear it when she learned you had “heroically” taken the hit for him — though she preferred to call it stupid rather than heroic. You didn’t argue with her on it. Fortunately, Chad was able to pick himself up and knock out the idiot before he could do more.

Despite that fury she held inside her, you could see the worry etched on her face, bordering on tears, during your hospital stay.

Days later you’d learn he was just some deranged kid trying to be “Funny”. He was promptly arrested by the police and sent to a hospital. You’d never seen Sam so disgusted. 

Considering the circumstances, you were fine. Mentally? Probably not, you hadn’t had time to reflect on it. Physically? That’s where it was hitting most. The scars left by his knife only got progressively worse as time passed. Chad was quick to call an ambulance for you, and you thanked the man greatly, holding onto his shoulders for support. 

The doctors affirmed the bone wasn’t too severely damaged but it would need time to heal. Hence the blue cast hanging from your shoulder. 

But the strangest part wasn’t your injured arm - it was Tara’s behavior. You understood that she was reliving the whole ordeal all over again and tried your best to comfort her. But it seemed just being around you, without fail, brought tears back into her eyes. With time, she was starting to recover too, but she stayed unusually quiet. Despite this, she never left your side, not even for a moment. Like right now, she sat beside you, on your good side, as you watched a movie together in her room. 

You didn’t want this attack to get in the way of your relationship or mess things up, so you insisted on keeping things normal - like movie nights and when you were both up for it, date nights. 

Tonight, Tara picked a Disney movie, probably to keep things light after what happened. You tried not to let your heart swell too much at her consideration. 

“Sit up for me,” Tara mumbled out of nowhere, pulling you out of your thoughts. You furrowed your eyebrows but did as she asked, watching as she disappeared into the bathroom and came back holding a familiar red box. 

“Tara, I’m okay.” You lied. 

She arched an eyebrow, reading completely through you but didn’t say anything, simply opening the kit and motioning for you to swing your legs off the bed. 

You sighed, complying with her words knowing better than to argue. 

“You’ve been scratching at your shoulder this entire time. I know it’s bothering you. Let me change it.” She said softly.

Pursing your lips, you nodded, giving her the go-ahead. You understood that helping you made her feel better, even though you constantly reassured her that it wasn’t her fault.

Sitting straight up, you watched as she delicately unwrapped the gauze, marveling at her gentle touch. A shiver ran down your spine as the fresh air hit the wound, her eyes softening as they fell upon the scar. She then grabbed some cotton balls and applied alcohol to them, causing you to hiss at the burning sensation.

“Sorry.” She murmured, leaning in to press a kiss on your cheek before blowing softly on the cut. “I don’t want it to get infected, it’ll just get worse.” 

You nodded, biting the inside of your cheek. It felt good, having someone care for you like this. More than you’d ever admit, really. The thought of how much you secretly loved Tara fussing over you was too embarrassing to acknowledge fully. 

You couldn't help but relish in the feeling of being looked after, of having someone fuss over you with such genuine concern. It was comforting, reassuring even, to know that you weren't facing this ordeal alone, that someone was there to support you every step of the way. 

As her fingers delicately adjusted the bandage, ensuring it was snug yet not too tight, your heart spoke before you could stop it. And just like that, the words spilled out, unfiltered and sincere: “I love you.”

Tara froze, the silence turning deafening. Her fingers pressed slightly harder against you, fingernails digging into your shoulder but you didn’t comment on it, too overwhelmed by your own anxiety and fear that she could hear how fast your heart was beating. After a beat of silence, she continued wrapping the fabric, cutting it off once she finished. Yet, her touch lingered, eyes fixated on the injury, her thumb softly rubbing against your shoulder. 

A small sniffled escaped her, and she stood up abruptly. Covering herself with her arm to wipe away tears. Your heart sank, fearing you had ruined everything.

“You shouldn’t.” She whispered, her voice barely audible, as she rubbed her arms in search of comfort. “I’ll just get you hurt.” 

Your eyes softened, heartbreaking at the sight of her vulnerability. It was a side of her you had only seen once before, the last time you nearly broke up. A look you didn’t want to see.

“Tara, don’t say that.” 

“It’s the truth, everywhere I go he follows.” She choked out, her eyes glistening, “You’ll never be happy constantly looking behind your shoulder, living in fear.” 

You stood up, pausing in front of the shorter girl. Tara sighed, shaking her head and turning away. Your hand gently lifted her chin, and you leaned down to press a kiss against her cheek, coaxing her shaken eyes to look at you. Very seriously you uttered, “Every time I'm with you I feel more secure than ever in my entire life. We take care of each other, I’ll take care of you. I love you, Tara.” 

Tara shudders, her head leaning against your forehead, letting the words wash over her. Your arm rubs softly against hers, while you pepper kisses along the side of her face, expressing your feelings through touch. 

Shakingly, her nails grip tighter against your back. “If you’re gonna keep saying that- you have to mean it.” She affirms, pulling back to look at you,  “You can’t just say that and leave, not anymore.”

You nod in agreement, finally, leaning down to capture her lips between your own, pulling her into a loving kiss. “I mean it, I love you.” You whisper against her lips. 

Tara swallows, before letting out a watery laugh. “I love you too, god I do.” 

Her hands find a home between your neck, pulling you in closer into a much firmer and passionate kiss. Your stomach tightens, and you shiver when her tongue slides in effortlessly, melting at her touch. 

Getting lost in the moment, your feet move before you realize it, and your knees hit the bed. Tara gasps in surprise, clutching onto you for support and you wince at the sudden pressure to your cast. 

You let out a breathy chuckle, sinking back into the mattress, Tara quickly joining in to meet you. The room fills with shared laughter, a moment of light amidst it all. Being mindful of your arm, Tara moves to lay by your side once again, draping an arm across your chest. She presses a lingering kiss to your neck, sighing against you.

You recall your previous conversation. And you wanted to say she had nothing to worry about—nothing to be scared of. But you both knew the truth of the cruel world you lived in. Safety wasn’t something you could guarantee, not to Tara, and not to yourself. 

Instead, you pulled the girl closer, her body adjusting to fit with yours, her head resting on your neck. If physical contact was what she needed to sleep for tonight and any night, you could provide that. Pressing a tender kiss to her head, you placed your chin on top of her, reveling in the moment, focusing on the small patterns she traced on your skin. 

And just for once, without fear, Tara let her eyes close. Slowly falling asleep in your warm embrace, completely reassured that you wouldn’t be leaving her.

[i-amyou]

Stop seeking. Start noticing.

That's all you have to 'do'. And before you ask me how to notice, there's no how to. You are always Noticing/Observing without any efforts. That's your innate nature. The truth. You've always been aware regardless of everything. But were you aware of being Aware? Now that's the question. That's where all of our pointers, point you to.

That's the only thing you need to "do" (Sorry for lack of better words) . It's effortless. Trust me. And before you overcomplicate this, let me add;

Noticing = Observing = Being aware = Just BE.

They're not different. Any thought, and I mean any thought you have doesn't matter. It's irrelevant. "I don't get it" is a thought, "I'm still waiting..." is a thought. "Life's so unfair.." is a thought. Everything, no matter what happens and whatever thoughts come up. Let them be.

Just notice and let it be. Know, and have faith that you're beyond it all. Because you ARE. You're free.

There's no where to be. There's nothing to achieve. There's nothing to do. And there's no person to do it.

Just BE. And Notice. Be aware.

Noticing is the innate energetic effect of Infinite Radiance. Noticing is not exercised from a "me" or from a "person". Even if you want to stop noticing, you can't do so because noticing cannot be turned off. During the natural process of unstoppable noticing, it will automatically reveal that "a me" or "a person" is just a concept imagined by the Mind rather than a concrete existence. It will automatically reveal that you will never be able to find a concrete existence named as "a me" or "a person", let alone "others". - Being_Is_IT on Twitter.

Ps:- It's not a method. Just something you've always been doing, without being aware and getting too indulged with the illusion. And this is a pointer, pointing you to notice this simple thing.

[1111jenx]

𖤓Synastry series: Sun in the Houses𖤓

MASTERLIST — for more quality posts✨

💘Sun in the 1st House: Beneath the celestial canvas of this synastry placement, a tale as enchanting as a dream unfurls. The house person, akin to a night sky, emanates a radiant glow, echoing the Sun person's presence. To them, the Sun is their guiding star, the source of their joy, their radiant beacon in a universe otherwise cloaked in darkness. A profound contentment envelops them when bathed in the Sun's light, an authentic happiness as splendid as dawn's first light. The Sun, in return, basks in the house person's deep-rooted admiration, mirroring it back like a tranquil lake reflecting the midday sun. This tandem, like a pair of celestial bodies, graces the universe with laughter, an exquisite sonnet of shared joy. Together, they shimmer, illuminating the surrounding cosmos with their radiant togetherness, a spectacle of love that outshines the stars. Yet, within this symphony of love, a certain possessiveness persists, a gravitational pull that binds them irrevocably. They perceive the other as their celestial twin, their sole companion in the vast expanse of the universe. An echo of 'mine' resonates between them, an assertion of mutual ownership that is as potent as the heart's deepest longing. But as is the nature of celestial bodies, clashes may occur, ego battles akin to cosmic storms, threatening to disrupt their harmonious orbit. However, even these conflicts are silver-lined, offering pearls of wisdom and shaping their cosmic journey in profound ways. In the radiant presence of one another, they shimmer with unspoken brilliance. They ignite the best within each other, like distant galaxies awakening to their own magnificence. The house person swells with pride in the comforting glow of the Sun, who, in their unerring wisdom, whispers words that elicit pure, unadulterated joy. They orbit in their celestial dance, two bodies radiating love, learning, and laughter, a testament to the poetic resonance of their shared existence.

💘Sun in the 2nd House: In this bond, we find two souls who naturally stir each other's desires and comforts. Together, they revel in life's luxurious offerings, savoring the finest fruits of existence. The Sun person, like a guiding star, helps the House person grasp their true worth, understand their needs, and appreciate their resources. If the stars align favourably, their partnership blooms into something extraordinary, blessed by the gracious hand of Venus. They see worth in each other, a priceless treasure that enriches their shared journey. The Sun person recognizes the unique gifts the House person brings to the table. Yet, there's a shadow to the Sun's warm glow; a tendency to possess, to control, often without realizing. The House person, drawn in by the Sun's radiance, finds themselves doing more to please the Sun, adjusting to their needs, no matter what those might be. In this dance of connection, they move in harmony, a duet of love, desire, and mutual respect.

💘 Sun in the 3rd House: In their shared space, words intertwine like star-crossed lovers, ceaseless, captivating. Little disagreements dance on the edge of their tongues, only to be silenced by the tender symphony of make-up kisses. This placement weaves a sense of familiarity, a strange déjà vu, as if their souls have crossed paths in another life, another time. An unspoken comfort lingers between them, a tranquility that whispers of home. Conversations flow like rivers to the sea, their intellectual discourse as effortless as the wind caressing the leaves. The House person finds a certain charm in the Sun's words, hanging onto them like a melody that never grows old. The Sun, on the other hand, sees the House person as a precious gem, something to shield from the world's harsh edges. Their interaction is a feast for the mind, a stimulation that sings to those who crave deep, intellectual bonds. In this union, comfort abounds. Each word spoken, each secret shared, peels away another layer, revealing the essence of who they truly are. Their openness is as natural as a flower blooming under the spring sun, a testament to their profound connection. Intimate moments are shared in the small details - the clasp of their hands, a language written in the lines of their palms, a silent promise of enduring togetherness. Inside jokes punctuate their interactions, shared laughter blooming in their personal garden of camaraderie. A timeless dance of love and intellectual stimulation, their union weaves a tapestry of memories, each thread gleaming with their shared joy and affection.

💘 Sun in the 4th House: In the embrace of the House person, the Sun finds a home, an abode that whispers of permanence, a space it never yearns to desert. The sanctuary of their presence is a magnet to the Sun, a refuge radiant with solace. This cosmic alignment is intriguing, for it oscillates between providing profound comfort and eliciting the chill of fear, particularly if the Sun's chart is parched of the life-giving water element. There's an undeniable allure in the vulnerability this placement offers. The House person peers into the Sun, seeing its authentic self, acknowledging its limitless potential, and loving it unabashedly. They are the unwavering shield to the Sun, sometimes blindly so, standing in steadfast support irrespective of the circumstances. In response, the Sun flourishes. It blossoms with an ethereal beauty, basking in the adoration it receives, thriving on the nourishment of support. The presence of the House person is a soothing balm, a calming melody that seems to know the right notes to bring tranquility. The House person, in their turn, reveals a clear soft spot for the Sun, perhaps even forgiving their occasional bursts of tempestuous heat. It's a placement that prompts both introspection and reflection, a cosmic dance that sees them turning inward, mirroring each other's steps. Together, they discover a respite from their armor, a space where they can shed their toughness. They become a testament to the beauty of vulnerability, an echo of support and affection that resonates in the celestial symphony of their unity.

💘 Sun in the 5fth House: A placement I hold dear, is a dance of two cosmic entities feeling as though they've discovered their mirrored soul. It's not just a joyous union but one filled with exhilarating thrills and daring adventures. They revel in their shared laughter, their exchanges brimming with the innocence of child-like banter. Yet, beneath this playful veneer, there lies an infatuation, clear and profound, humming in the spaces between their words. The House person transforms into an eternal flame, a radiant beacon matching the Sun's relentless luminescence. The Sun, in turn, gazes upon the House with a sense of awe, often entranced by their seeming perfection. The House, in the Sun's eyes, feels like an equal partner, a reflection of their inner self. The fifth house is synonymous with romance. It's a fixed house, firmly rooted in its position, a steadfast testament to the House person's feelings towards the Sun. Regardless of their playful mind games, their seemingly flighty demeanor, their feelings towards the Sun person persist, burning with unwavering intensity. To the Sun, the House becomes an escape from the mundane, their daily dose of joy, their most ardent cheerleader. It's an alignment at times witnessed in tales of enemies turned lovers to bestfriends, an exciting dynamic where they continually challenge and dare each other to delve deeper into life's mysteries. It's a placement pulsating with positive energy, echoing with shared giggles, and resonating with playful touches. It's a cosmic dance of two entities, navigating the universe hand in hand, their hearts beating in a rhythm that speaks of love, laughter, and endless adventure.

💘 Sun in the 6th House: In this celestial arrangement, the Sun finds itself nestled in a house of pragmatism and routine, shedding its brilliant light upon the practicalities of daily life. These constellations spin tales not of grand careers or cosmic pursuits, but of everyday work, the quiet rhythm of health and wellness, the structure of routines and the serene act of service. In this dance of the stars, the Sun's light illuminates pathways to healthier eating, disciplined exercise, and even companionship with beloved pets. The Sun, in its radiant role, serves as a guiding beacon for the 6th house dweller, leading them towards the sanctity of a balanced lifestyle. It may inspire a shared commitment to physical exertion, perhaps in the form of joining a gym, or ignite conversations about nutritious diets and wellbeing. The Sun person may even act as a catalyst, helping the 6th house dweller establish routines that reinforce physical and mental health. Yet, the orbits of these celestial bodies might lead them down professional paths that intertwine, potentially finding one in the service of the other. However, with the Sun's position in the practical 6th house, a word of caution is warranted. The equilibrium of give and take must be carefully maintained to prevent the transformation of helpfulness into servitude. It's crucial that neither the Sun nor the 6th house dweller feels overburdened, their efforts unreciprocated.. It inspires a mutual journey towards better physical and mental health, encouraging each to uplift the other, illuminating their shared path with the light of practical wisdom and mutual care.

💘 Sun in the 7th House: In the grand tapestry of the cosmos, this placement is akin to a celestial masterpiece, an ideal constellation in the realm of astrology. The Sun, in its radiant glory, casts its golden light upon the 7th house, a house rich with the resonance of companionship, the solemnity of marriage, the intimacy of one-on-one relationships, the practicalities of business partnerships, the binding power of contracts, and the hidden faces of our alter-egos or shadow selves. In this dance of the stars, the Sun person stirs a longing within the 7th house dweller, a yearning for partnership, perhaps even a hankering for the sacred bond of marriage. The 7th house person may perceive the Sun person as the embodiment of their perfect mate, a mirror reflecting all the qualities they admire yet feel they lack. This celestial alignment weaves a balancing harmony in their relationship, as the Sun person displays characteristics and idiosyncrasies that the 7th house person cherishes but doesn't possess. As the 7th house is the celestial realm of marriage and contracts, the potential for wedded bliss, or perhaps a formal business partnership, is a tangible possibility should their relationship endure the test of time. However, as with any celestial arrangement, there are potential pitfalls to navigate. The two may become so entwined that they lose their individualities, their identities blurring until they cannot discern where one ends and the other begins. It is vital to remember that they are unique souls united, not a singular entity. Additionally, the mirage of the ideal mate may only be visible to the eyes of the 7th house person, with the Sun person potentially oblivious to this perception. The entirety of the synastry chart must be considered to gauge the mutual feelings of compatibility and the potential for enduring companionship. Thus, in this symphony of stars and planets, the dance of destiny unfolds, charting a course of love, partnership, and shared dreams.

💘 Sun in the 8th House: The placement of the Sun in the 8th house is a pas de deux that is not meant for those with faint hearts. It is a dance where the dancers—the Sun and the 8th house person—are likely to be pulled in one of two extreme directions. They may find themselves entwined in an intoxicating whirl of magnetic attraction, an intense passion that seizes them, or they may feel an unsettling disturbance, a disquiet that rattles their core, often swaying between these polar opposites. The Sun, in its radiant role, casts an unflinching light on the profound themes of the 8th house, illuminating the shadowy corners of sexuality, the cyclical dance of death and rebirth, the tumult of transformation and crisis, the journey of personal growth and evolution, the undercurrents of psychology and addiction, the intricacies of finance, and the hushed whispers of societal taboos. These subjects, often shrouded in mystery, may either captivate or unsettle the house person. They might either welcome the Sun person into their hidden depths or push them away. The house person might perceive the Sun as an enigmatic entity, while the Sun person uncovers the secrets that the 8th house person keeps hidden from the world. Should both individuals bear the mark of Pluto's dominance, or have a strong 8th house presence in their natal chart, this union may flourish in mutual fascination. However, if one or both harbor hidden trauma or suppressed shame, this intense connection could serve as a deterrent, overwhelming their senses. This celestial arrangement signifies the potential to unravel each other's hidden layers, maintaining a profound bond that might lead to mutual transformation. Yet, caution must be exercised to prevent power dynamics or manipulative tactics from seeping into their relationship. Ultimately, this celestial alignment can flourish if both are open to exploring the depths of each other's souls, embracing growth and transformation, and traversing the labyrinth of shared secrets.

💘 Sun in the 9th house: The Sun weaves golden threads into the 9th house tapestry, infusing wisdom's domain with the vibrancy of its radiance. This divine dance resonates with the seekers, the dreamers, those who chart the star-studded expanse of their fate, guided by an insatiable thirst for depth and meaning. The Sun, a luminary beacon, casts an ethereal glow on the winding paths of philosophy, spirituality, and the rich tapestry of global culture, sparking a flame in the 9th house soul, igniting the tinder of curiosity and wanderlust. In the sacred dance of their divergent or converging beliefs, they find a melody, a rhythm that binds them in an intricate ballet of understanding. Their shared intrigue transcends the constraints of culture, religion, and philosophy, knitting them closer in the vast expanse of human thought. Together, they traverse oceans, cross continents, and journey through the labyrinth of the mind and the world, venturing into territories unseen and unexplored. Yet caution must be heeded, for clashing perspectives may strike discordant notes, marring the celestial harmony. But through the crucible of understanding and growth, they shall rise, bound by a shared quest for enlightenment and truth. Soaring high, they ascend to the sublime realm of knowledge, guided by the radiant beacon of the Sun.

💘 Sun in the 10th house: The Sun, in its radiant glory, casts a shimmering glow upon the 10th house, bathing the lofty pinnacles of ambition, authority, and societal prestige in golden light. The 10th house individual beholds the Sun, seeing within its fiery aura the embodiment of a mentor, a guiding star, perhaps even a paternal figure. In this celestial dance, the Sun nurtures the dormant seeds of promise within the 10th house soul, kindling a fire that empowers them to scale the towering heights of professional achievement and public recognition. Unseen currents may churn, as the tides of power and authority ebb and flow, wrestling for harmonious balance. Should the rhythm of their hearts align, with the melody of guidance and humility ringing louder than the discordant notes of dominance, their shared journey shall carve a path to victory in the grand stage of career and societal prominence. Together, they'll ascend the mountain of success, guided by the Sun's resplendent glow.

💘 Sun in the 11th house: As the Sun anoints the 11th house with its golden kiss, souls intertwined in this celestial ballet discover a fellowship deeper than mere companionship. They merge as confidants, their dreams and aspirations entwining like tendrils of starlight, fueled by a shared devotion to the grand tapestry of humanity. Hand in hand, they champion noble crusades, threading their bond of friendship through a loom of diversity and acceptance. The Sun, a celestial minstrel, serenades the 11th house soul, inspiring them to dance in the unique rhythm of their being. In turn, the 11th house individual perceives the Sun as a lighthouse of acceptance, its unwavering beam illuminating their path in times of tumult. For hearts fluttering to the cadence of romance, seek reinforcement from other heavenly harmonies, for a profound friendship forms the bedrock of enduring love.This cosmic duet, a symphony of souls, signals unity, mutual respect, and a shared pledge to a future as radiant as the Sun. Their shared bond, an ethereal waltz, tells a tale of harmony, shared dreams, and a commitment to a collective dawn where every dream finds its home.

💘 Sun in the 12th house: As the Sun slips into the enigmatic embrace of the 12th house, its bright sovereignty is shrouded in gauzy veils of mystique, spirituality, and the unseen. To the house person, the Sun appears as an ethereal apparition, a spectral force oscillating between healing and bewildering, like a siren's call echoing through the vast and shadowy cosmos. Shrouded in the silken shadows of the subconscious, their connection pulses like a hidden heartbeat, a secret rhythm known only to them. This clandestine bond invites introspection and self-discovery, a voyage into the deep waters of their shared consciousness. For the Sun person, the depths of the 12th house may feel like a labyrinth of twilight, where their radiant essence is held in a silent waltz, yearning for the symphony of expression. When suspicion or paranoia creep into this celestial bond, trust must be kindled like a beacon in the deep, for their connection thrives on the revelation of buried truths and the unearthing of the divine spark within. With hearts aglow and an attuned awareness of their spiritual dance, they navigate the labyrinthine realms of the soul, transcending the mortal shackles, and ascending into an otherworldly romance. This sacred journey, a testament to their courage, becomes an intimate dance between two souls weaving their way through the cosmic tapestry, seeking the divine in each other.

Thank you for staying til the very end loves, I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, let me know your thoughts in the comment🤍

love,

saint jenx🪐

© 2023 Saintz Jenx All Rights Reserved

[peachsayshi]

dating nanami kento means that sometimes he texts you after working overtime, checks in to see if you are up to hanging out for a bit. it catches you off guard because you’re never put together enough to greet him. you still prefer him seeing you after hours of working on effortless radiance but your heart can’t resist turning him away.

your worries dwindle when he shows up disheveled and tired, with his tie loose around his neck and his jacket hanging over his elbow. exhaustion weighs heavy on his face, crescents forming underneath his eyes as a reminder of the lateness of the hour but there’s a softness when he looks at you and a tiny smile lights up his face like he’s been kissed by the rising sun.

it’s breathtaking really - that expression of his that channels his handsome features and transcends everything else around you.

he wants you on his lap so your snuggled close, so you have the freedom to play with his hair while he rests his head back on the sofa. he touches your thigh, brushing his feather light fingers back and forth while you gently massage his scalp. this is when he’s vulnerable - when he’s open to communication about the things he bottles up. his voice is beautiful when he speaks, when he expresses his inner thoughts without any concerns. he occasionally squeezes your waist for reassurance, and you eventually rest your cheek on his strong shoulder while drawing circles on his chest to just listen for the most part.

gentle flames burn between the valves of your beating heart knowing that he trusts you so deeply, knowing that the words you share in the presence of the waxing and waning moon is what you hold most sacred, and you close your eyes for just a second to secretly whisper to the stars: I’m in love with him.

[hisui-dreamer]

a calculated kiss

Pairing: Leona Kingscholar x gn!reader

Synopsis: When Leona Kingscholar makes an effort, you best believe he wants a reward.

Tags: crushes, banter, crack, math is mentioned, slight pining, bot proofread

Word count: 1.4k+

Notes: this fic idea came to me in a dream and boy what a nice dream it was hehe

Masterlist

The room was a labyrinth of towering book spines, stretching up to the ceiling and beyond. The air was heavy with the aroma of old paper and ink, giving the room a musty, soothing smell. The dim lighting cast a tranquil aura upon the room, transforming it into a sanctuary amidst the frenzied bustle of the school.

It was the perfect place to take a nap.

As Leona rounded the corner, his nostrils flared with a familiar scent that set his heart alight. He turned his head, following the aroma to its source, and there you were, hunched over a table with a look of intense concentration etched onto your face. Sunlight streamed through the window, casting a warm glow over your face and highlighting your face. Your furrowed brow and the way you squinted at the worksheets on the desk told him that you were deep in thought, lost in a world of your own creation.

For someone who walked into his life without warning, he found it surprising how quickly you had wormed your way into his heart. You were like a sudden gust of wind that swept into his life, catching him off guard, and he couldn't help but be enchanted by the way you danced and twirled, carrying with you the promise of change and new beginnings. Like a rare and delicate flower, you had miraculously bloomed in the midst of winter, bringing him a warmth and vibrancy that thawed his heart, inviting him to bask in your radiance.

With a nonchalant gait, he strolled over to where you sat. His lips curved into a smug grin, his signature expression that often preceded his teasing remarks. "Oi, herbivore," he quipped, dripping with amusement. "What's got you so bothered?"

You whipped your head up in response, mumbling his name in disbelief. "Leona... It's nothing really, I'm just having some trouble with this assignment," they admitted, holding up a sheet of paper covered in scribbles and crossed-out words. "I can't seem to get it right."

He raised an eyebrow in a curious fashion, a spark of genuine interest ignited within him, momentarily illuminating his otherwise impassive features. With a sharp exhale, a sound caught between a scoff and a chuckle, he leaned forward, his commanding presence drawing you in. "Hah, it can't be that bad. Show me," he offered, his voice a rich timbre that rolled off his tongue like honey.

As he scrutinized the paper, his sharp eyes darted back and forth across the page, his mind working at a breakneck pace. "Math, huh?" he mused, his lips curving upward in a hint of a smirk. "Hmm, this stuff is easy."

With a abrupt surge of energy, he dove into the work, his fingers deftly dancing across the page as he explained the problem with ease. You could hardly believe your eyes as he pointed out mistakes and offered suggestions, each correction executed with effortless grace. It was as if the numbers themselves were at his command, bending to his will with each swift stroke of his pen. "There, just like that."

"Wow, Leona, you're really good at this!" you exclaimed. "I never would have been able to do this without you!"

His lips curled upwards into a triumphant grin, his chest swelling with pride. "It's just some simple math," he replied confidently. "Now," he said, his hand darting out to snatch the worksheet from you in a blur of motion, "give it a go on your own this time."

At your incredulous expression, Leona huffed. "What, did you think I'd be doing your work for you?" he teased, his voice tinged with playful mischief.

You shook your head wryly, though your lips curved up in a smile. "I was hoping you would," you said, nudging him playfully. "But I suppose I'll have to do it myself."

Leona chuckled, enjoying your playful banter. "You'll be fine," he reassured you. "You won't learn if you don't do it yourself."

You let out a sigh, a hint of reluctance in your voice. "I know," you admitted, the weight of the task ahead of you starting to settle in. "But it's just so overwhelming sometimes. I don't even know where to start."

Leona leaned back in his chair, his viridescent eyes never leaving yours. "Well, break it down then," he suggested, his voice calm and reassuring. "What's the first step? What do you need to do?"

He guided you through the process, breaking down the assignment into manageable chunks, and you couldn't help but feel grateful for his help. Slowly but surely, his playful teasing gave way to genuine interest in your progress. He listened attentively as you shared your thoughts and ideas, offering advice and encouragement along the way.

As you gazed upon the once-blank notebook, now brimming with neatly-written answers, you were struck with a surge of pride and accomplishment. It felt as if a refreshing breeze on a sweltering summer day had washed over you, invigorating your very being. The weight of your academic responsibilities lifted, replaced by a sense of contentment and satisfaction that settled deep within your soul.

"Thanks, Leona," you said, your voice filled with heartfelt gratitude. "I couldn't have done it without you."

Leona's mischievous grin illuminated his face as he cockily replied, "Well, I think I deserve a reward for my services, don't you?"

You raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Oh really? And what kind of reward were you thinking of?"

Leona leaned in closer, the scent of his cologne mingled with the scent of the room, creating an intoxicating mix that made your head spin. His voice was a velvet whisper, weaving a seductive spell that sent a flock of butterflies aflutter in your stomach. His breath warm against your ear, he posed his question. "How about a kiss?"

Your cheeks instantly flushed as you stared at him in shock, not expecting his bold request. Leona couldn't help but chuckle at your reaction.

"Well… okay," you answered meekly.

His eyes opened wide like a startled fawn, but as he opened his mouth to speak, your delicate lips brushed against his, and he was struck by a wave of sensations crashing into him like a surging tide. The kiss was tender, a symphony of sweetness that sent electric jolts down his spine and set his heart racing like a galloping stallion. Leona could feel your warmth seeping into him, your tenderness enveloping him like a comforting blanket.

When you finally pulled apart, Leona blinked, before he started laughing, his body shaking with mirth. "Hahahahaha! Who would've thought a herbivore like you would have the guts!"

You shook your head and smiled, your cheeks still slightly warm. "You're the one who asked for it. But thank you for helping me with my homework. It means a lot to me."

He chuckled, like a melody of soft bells in the distance, drawing even closer until his forehead rested gently against yours. His warm breath danced across your skin. "It was my pleasure," he murmured, his voice low and husky like the deep rumble of a cello. "I wouldn't mind lendin' you a hand again, you know. As long as there's a little somethin' in it for me, of course," he added, his smug grin returning in full force, like the bright and mischievous glint of a cat's eyes in the dark.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes at his playful demeanor. "Always looking for a reward, aren't you?" you teased.

He shrugged, his eyes glinting mischievously. "What can I say? I like to be motivated."

You laughed, enjoying the banter between the two of you. As much as you enjoyed his company, you couldn't help but feel a flutter in your chest at his words. "Well, if you're looking for a reward, maybe I can think of something," you said, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

"Oh, I'm sure you can," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

Your heart thumped like a drum as you peered into his emerald eyes, brimming with an insatiable longing that made your insides twist in a knot. In a flash, his lips met yours, and you were enveloped in his embrace, his arms a shield that enveloped you. It felt electric, sending sparks flying through your body. It was as if the heat and fervour that had been simmering between the two of you had finally erupted into a tempest. As you melted into his hold, you couldn't help but wonder what other rewards he wanted from you.

But really, you could never deny him anything.

Masterlist

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[perfectsunlight]

12 ⸺ MELTING

warnings: NONE (for once)

word count: 3.9k

part of the series: LOGICAL

lisa had heard of y/n before she ever saw her. but in all honesty, from what she heard, she thought she’d be teammates with just any other cocky and entitled player.

the name kim y/n held more weight than most others did. everyone had heard about olympian kim taeyon’s daughter from the moment she could dribble. it was no surprise that y/n was the number one recruit in the country at the time she graduated high school. the girl was definitely a natural at the sport, naturally landing her a full ride scholarship at ygu.

however, lisa wasn’t expecting her coach’s daughter to also be the complete opposite of what she expected.

you are my church, you are my place of worship

i heard you're the plug, can i be the circuit?

y/n had an aura that was hard to ignore, a blend of confidence and beauty that made her stand out even among the most talented athletes. her reputation preceded her, but it was the sight of her in action that truly captivated lalisa.

it was during an early morning practice that lisa first saw y/n on the court. the gym was dimly lit, casting long shadows that made the scene almost dreamlike at that hour of the day. lisa thought she had arrived decently early, around 45 minutes before practice started.

but when she entered the gym, she was shocked to see someone already getting some shots in.

y/n moved with an effortless grace, each step and motion a flawless ballet of athleticism. her ponytail swayed with each pivot, and the determination etched on her face was both fierce and mesmerizing.

as y/n dribbled the ball down the court, her movements were swift and precise, a testament to countless hours of practice and natural talent. 

lisa couldn't take her eyes off her. she had seen skilled players before, but y/n was something else entirely. 

there was an undeniable allure in the way she carried herself, a combination of beauty and strength that made her seem almost untouchable. maybe it was the fact she didn’t eat anything before practice that day, but lalisa felt like her stomach was doing flips.

the brunette finally noticed she had company, a shy smile creeping up on her lips as she took her earbuds out. y/n held the ball against her waist before glancing at the giant digital clock on the back wall.

“hi. do you want to warm up together?” y/n asked sweetly as she approached the taller girl with a smile. up close, the other girl was even more stunning. her skin glowed with a subtle radiance, and her eyes held an allure that made lisa feel like she could get lost in them. 

at that moment, lisa almost forgot how to play basketball.

“yeah, let me just put my court shoes on.” lalisa managed to stutter out, feeling a rare flush of nervousness that she quickly tried to mask with a confident smirk. as she bent down to change into her basketball shoes, she could feel y/n’s gentle eyes on her, and it sent a thrill down her spine.

“alright, i'm ready,” lisa said, standing up and rolling her shoulders, trying to regain her usual demeanor, even if it was extremely difficult to do so with the prettiest girl she’d ever seen standing in front of her. “let's see if you can keep up.”

y/n laughed softly, a sound that was both melodic and disarming. lisa almost found herself giggling at the sound.“i think i can manage,” the shorter girl replied, her smile never wavering.

when i got court, i hope that you're the verdict

when you're around, my insides turn inverted

lisa, known for her arrogance and confidence, was not one to easily get flustered. yet, y/n had a way of disarming her with the simplest of gestures—a gentle smile, a soft laugh, a kind word. it sort of annoyed lisa at first, how this girl could get under her skin and make her feel things she wasn't used to feeling?

but it also intrigued her, made her want to know more.

coach taeyeon paired the two girls up due to their natural talents and their usual positions. every practice was spent with the team, but when it came time for drills, lisa and y/n would be paired up for their own sets.

part of it was because they were undeniably the best players on the team, their skills complementing each other perfectly. lisa, with her fierce aggression and sharp instincts, and y/n, with her graceful finesse and strategic mind, made an unstoppable duo. coach taeyeon knew this and wanted to harness their potential to elevate the team's performance.

as the weeks went by, lisa and y/n fell into a comfortable rhythm. their movements on the court became synchronized, almost like a dance. lisa found herself looking forward to their practice sessions more than anything else. it was an odd thing for the thai girl to love getting up at 4:30 with a smile, but being at practice before everyone else meant that she’d get more alone time y/n.

it wasn’t long until lisa felt herself falling for the young star.

one morning, lisa arrived at the gym even earlier than usual. the sun hadn’t yet risen, and the world outside was still cloaked in darkness. she relished the quiet, knowing that soon y/n would walk through the doors and light up the space with her presence. when y/n finally arrived, her hair pulled back in a ponytail and a bright smile on her face, lisa’s heart skipped a beat.

“morning, lalisa,” y/n said cheerfully, her voice soft and warm in the stillness of the gym. the brunette always had on a different pair of fuzzy socks for each practice. she found it practical, and lisa found it adorable.

“morning, y/n,” lisa replied, trying to keep her voice steady. “ready to get started?”

“always,” y/n answered, her eyes twinkling with excitement. “do you like my socks today?” she asked as she posed dramatically for the other girl. 

lisa couldn’t help but grin. “oh, definitely. those are top-tier fuzzy socks. you should wear them every day.” y/n giggled, her laughter like music to lisa’s ears. “i thought you might like them. i have a whole collection, you know.”

“do you now?” lisa said, raising an eyebrow and stepping closer. “we should get matching ones, like couple socks.” she watched a faint glint dance in y/n’s bright brown eyes, amusement clear in all her features.

“are you trying to flirt with me, lalisa?”

“maybe i am,” lisa replied, her voice dropping to a playful whisper. y/n blushed, a shy smile spreading across her face. “i’ll think about it,” she teased, poking lisa lightly in the side. “but for now, we have practice.”

my blood starts to rush when i see your doorman

i know you're nearby and i know your purpose

it didn’t take long for kim taeyeon to notice the way lisa looked at her daughter. as the coach of their basketball team, taeyeon was keenly observant, not only of their skills on the court but also of the dynamics between her players. she had seen the subtle shifts in lisa’s demeanor. how she smiled more when y/n was around, how her eyes softened whenever they spoke. every single micro detail was noticed.

naturally, the former olympian decided to do what all mothers do — ask about it.

it was a quiet evening at home, the soft glow of the lamp casting a warm ambiance over taeyeon’s study. y/n sat across from her mother, a book open in her lap, though her attention kept drifting to the thoughts swirling in her mind.

taeyeon glanced up from her paperwork, her expression thoughtful. she set her pen down and regarded y/n with a gentle smile. “kiddo, can i ask you something?”

the brunette looked up from her book, meeting her mother’s eyes with curiosity. “of course, mom. what is it?”

taeyeon hesitated for a moment, choosing her words carefully. “is there something going on between you and lisa?” she asked, her tone gentle but probing. “i’m not upset, i’m just curious.”

y/n’s cheeks warmed with a blush, but she met her mother’s gaze steadily. “we’re just friends,” she admitted, her voice soft. “that’s all.”

taeyeon nodded, a knowing look in her eyes. she’d never seen her daughter like anyone before. to see her smitten for one of her own teammates was definitely a new thing as well.

however, the olympian knew better than to ask more than that at that moment.

practice had been intense that next afternoon, with drills and scrimmages pushing both lisa and y/n to their limits. despite the physical exertion, lisa couldn't shake the nervous excitement bubbling inside her. 

she had been planning this moment all week, waiting for the right opportunity to ask y/n out.

as they finished their cooldown exercises and gathered their gear, lisa spotted y/n wiping sweat from her brow, her ponytail slightly disheveled but her smile bright as ever. the athlete took a deep breath, steeling herself for what she was about to do.

take one look at you, you're heaven's incarnate

what is this spell, baby? please show some mercy

“hey, y/n,” lisa called out, her voice steady despite the flutter of nerves in her stomach. the brunette was stretching her arms over her head and relaxing against the wall with her water. bright eyes turned towards the taller girl, full of curiosity. 

“yes?”

for a moment, lisa thought about running home and screaming into her pillow instead. but she knew she had to get over it, especially if she wanted to go out with her. “um, i was wondering if you wanted to go get something to eat?”

y/n’s expression softened, a smile spreading across her face. “i’d love to!” she replied warmly. “should i tell yena and somi? i think we could get sushi, that sounds good. what do you think?”

“actually, y/n,” lisa interjected, her voice clear and determined despite the lingering nerves. she took a deep breath, meeting y/n’s curious gaze directly. “i was actually thinking… just the two of us. you and me. you know, as a date.”

y/n’s smile widened, a soft blush tinting her cheeks. “oh,” she murmured, her eyes lighting up with understanding and excitement. she’d never been on a date before, much less a date with a girl who she liked. “a date?”

lisa nodded, feeling a surge of relief mixed with exhilaration. “yeah, a date,” she confirmed, her heart racing as she waited for y/n’s response.

the young girl’s expression turned thoughtful for a moment, her gaze searching lisa’s face. then, with a shy but genuine smile, she replied, “i’d really like that, lisa.”

“great,” lisa said, her voice tinged with happiness. “how about tomorrow evening? we could still go for sushi, just the two of us.”

y/n nodded eagerly. “friday sounds perfect,” she agreed, her smile radiant as ever. and all lisa could do was smile and practically run home to tell somi all about what happened.

melting like an ice cream when you smile

melting, you're a daydream, stay a while

on friday evening, lisa arrived at the sushi restaurant feeling a mixture of excitement and nerves. she had chosen a casual yet stylish outfit, hoping to make a good impression on y/n. as she entered, she spotted y/n already seated at a cozy corner table, her face lighting up with a bright smile as lisa approached.

“hey,” y/n greeted warmly, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. “hi,” lisa replied with a shy smile, feeling a flutter of butterflies in her stomach. she took a seat across from y/n, the soft glow of the restaurant's ambient lighting casting a warm hue over their table.

the brunette was beautiful, her hair styled in loose waves, strands framing her face delicately. the thai girl couldn't help but admire how effortlessly y/n carried herself, a combination of grace and approachability that drew lisa in like a magnet. her heart raced with a mixture of nervousness and excitement as they settled into their seats, the aroma of sushi filling the air around them.

they started with light conversation, sharing stories from their week and laughing over funny moments from practice. the atmosphere between them was relaxed and easy, with a natural chemistry that made lisa feel more at ease. y/n’s laughter was infectious, and lisa found herself enjoying every moment spent in her company.

as they perused the menu, lisa enthusiastically recommended a few sushi rolls she had tried before. “you bring other girls here, lalisa?” y/n teased with a gentle smile and a poke of a finger. lalisa could only turn red from embarrassment, quickly shaking her head back and forth. “no, i’ve never brought another girl here. well, just somi, but she doesn’t count i promise—”

kim y/n’s laugh cut off lisa’s rambling mid-sentence, her laughter ringing melodically in the ambient warmth of the restaurant. lisa couldn’t help but smile at y/n’s teasing, despite the slight embarrassment flushing her cheeks.

“somi doesn’t count, huh?” y/n teased playfully, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “i’m honored to be your first then.”

lisa chuckled nervously, grateful for y/n’s easy going nature that eased her nerves. “yeah, you are,” she admitted with a shy grin, feeling a surge of warmth at y/n’s teasing yet genuine interest.

i pray that i can learn to be funny

i'm watching every stand-up comedy

when their food arrived, they dove into their meal with enthusiasm. the sushi was fresh and delicious, each bite a burst of flavors that delighted their taste buds.

however, as they talked animatedly about their favorite sushi rolls, lisa’s hand accidentally knocked over her water glass. a small splash of water spilled onto the table, prompting lisa to gasp in embarrassment.

“oh no, i’m so sorry,” lisa exclaimed, reaching for napkins to mop up the spill. the waiter quickly arrived with more napkins and a fresh glass of water, assuring lisa that accidents happen.

y/n laughed good-naturedly, placing a reassuring hand on lisa’s arm. “it’s okay, lisa,” she said with a warm smile. “no harm done.”

however, lalisa was about to swear the universe had been out to get her that day because she dropped soy sauce all over her pants immediately after. 

“oh no,” lisa gasped, her hand flying to her thigh where the stain was glaringly obvious. “i can’t believe this.”

the shorter girl turned to her, concern flickering in her eyes. “are you okay?” she asked gently, reaching out to touch lisa’s arm.

lisa managed a sheepish smile, trying to brush off the embarrassment. “yeah, just a little mishap,” she admitted with a nervous laugh. “i guess i got too excited about the sushi.”

y/n chuckled softly, her eyes warm with understanding. “it happens,” she reassured lisa, squeezing her arm gently. “it’s kind of funny.”

despite y/n’s reassurance, lisa couldn’t shake off the feeling of mortification. she attempted to discreetly hide the stain with her handbag as they approached the cashier to pay the bill. 

however, her embarrassment reached a new peak when she realized she had left her wallet at home.

“oh no,” lisa muttered under her breath, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. she searched through her bag frantically, hoping against hope that she had somehow misplaced her wallet inside.

y/n stepped in, sensing lisa’s distress. “is everything okay?” she asked quietly, her voice filled with concern.

lisa sighed heavily, feeling utterly embarrassed. “i forgot my wallet,” she confessed sheepishly, avoiding y/n’s gaze by staring up at the ceiling. kim y/n’s expression softened with understanding, and without hesitation, she pulled out her own wallet. “it’s okay,” she said gently, quickly offering her own card to the cashier. “let me take care of it.”

lisa’s cheeks flushed with gratitude and a tinge of embarrassment. “i’m really sorry,” she murmured apologetically, feeling guilty for the inconvenience.

y/n shook her head, her smile warm and reassuring. “don’t worry about it,” she insisted. “consider it my treat.”

just hoping that it'll rub off on me

so you'll smile at everything i say

the two athletes walked to the parking lot. y/n leaned against her car, her eyes soft with affection as she turned to face the taller girl. the night air filled with the soft rustle of leaves and the distant hum of the city.

“you know,” y/n began softly, her voice barely above a whisper, “tonight was my first date.”

lisa’s heart skipped a beat at y/n’s words, her own emotions mirrored in y/n’s gaze. “me too,” she replied, her voice filled with honesty and warmth. “even though it really could’ve gone better, i’m really glad you said yes.”

“you know,” lalisa began, a playful grin spreading across her face, “i think the world might end if i kiss you tonight.”

y/n raised an eyebrow, her lips quirking into a smile. “is that so?” she teased gently, stepping closer to lisa. “how come?”

lisa nodded with mock seriousness, her eyes twinkling mischievously. “yeah, apparently my luck tonight has been less than stellar,” she admitted, her voice light yet tinged with genuine humor. “i guess i used it all up to ask you out.”

kim y/n laughed softly, her hand reaching out to gently touch lisa’s arm. “well, i suppose we wouldn’t want to take any chances,” she replied playfully, her eyes dancing with amusement.

despite the teasing, lisa could sense the underlying warmth and understanding in y/n’s gaze. she felt a rush of relief knowing that y/n didn’t mind her quirky humor and appreciated her honesty.

“thank you for tonight,” lisa said sincerely, her voice softening as she looked into the brunette’s bright eyes. she smiled, her fingers gently squeezing lisa’s arm. 

“thank you for asking me out,” she replied warmly. “you should do it again sometime.”

you got some soft lips and some pearly whites (pearly whites)

i wanna touch them in the dead of night (dead of night)

y/n stared at the ceiling of lisa’s bedroom, trying to fight the sleep that threatened to pull her under. she had spent hours studying for a chemistry exam with the thai girl. all she could think about was electron density and formulas, so much so that she didn’t see what the other girl was doing.

lisa chucked as she threw herself on top of y/n, earning a groan of annoyance from her. “lisa,” y/n protested half-heartedly, though a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “off.”

lisa grinned down at y/n, her eyes sparkling with amusement as she feigned innocence. “what? i just want to cuddle,” she teased, leaning in closer until her face was mere inches from y/n’s.

y/n rolled her eyes playfully, knowing full well lisa’s definition of "cuddle" often involved tickling or playful banter. “you’re so annoying,” she sighed, though her tone was affectionate as she gently ran her fingers through the other girl’s hair.

lisa’s grin widened, and she brushed a strand of hair away from y/n’s face with gentle fingers. “guilty as charged,” she admitted with a playful wink. “but hey, we should definitely take a break. it’s been hours.”

y/n couldn’t help but smile back, her earlier frustration melting away in the warmth of lisa’s presence. it was always like that, and she loved it. “i suppose a short break wouldn’t hurt,” she conceded, her voice softening as she looked up at lisa.

the thai girl’s expression softened too, her playful demeanor giving way to something more tender. “good,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. she quickly glanced between y/n’s lips and her eyes.

“because i’ve been wanting to do this all evening.”

before y/n could respond, lisa closed the gap between them, pressing her lips gently against y/n’s. the kiss was soft and warm, a silent reassurance of their growing affection for each other. y/n’s eyes fluttered closed, her hand reaching up to rest against lisa’s cheek, deepening the kiss ever so slightly.

lisa tasted like the lingering sweetness of the tea they had shared earlier, mixed with a hint of mint from the gum she had chewed during their study session. y/n's mind raced with a whirlwind of emotions as their lips moved together in a gentle rhythm. 

each moment of the kiss felt like heaven, confirming what they both already knew deep down: they were falling for each other.

as they slowly pulled apart, y/n opened her eyes to meet lisa's gaze, finding warmth and tenderness mirrored back at her. lisa's thumb traced lightly along y/n's jawline, a silent gesture that spoke volumes about her feelings.

“i've been wanting to do that too,” y/n whispered, her voice barely above a breath, a shy smile spreading across her face. 

your smile ignites just like a candlelight (candlelight)

then somehow, i know everything's alright

“good,” lalisa said as she gently played with y/n’s lower lip, brushing her thumb over it ever so softly. “because i want to kiss you again.” she added, earning a smile from y/n. “god,” the thai girl added and shook her head in disbelief. “you’re perfect, it’s unbelievable.” 

y/n couldn't help but blush at lisa's words, feeling a rush of warmth spread through her cheeks. lisa's touch on her lip sent a tingling sensation down her spine, a mixture of excitement and anticipation.

“you're the unbelievable one,” y/n replied softly, her gaze locked with lisa's. “perfect and irresistibly charming.” lisa's grin widened, her eyes filled with affection as she leaned in closer, her breath mingling with y/n's. "can i kiss you again?" she murmured, her voice barely a whisper against y/n's lips.

without hesitation, y/n closed the remaining distance between them, meeting lisa halfway in a kiss that deepened quickly, fueled by the mutual desire and affection they shared. their kisses became a language of their own, speaking of their truths.

as they finally pulled apart, their foreheads touching lightly, y/n couldn't help but smile. “does this make you my girlfriend now?” she teased gently, her heart fluttering with happiness.

lisa chuckled softly, brushing a strand of hair behind y/n's ear. “yes, it does. i am yours, and you are mine." she replied softly, her voice filled with warmth and sincerity. lalisa leaned in to kiss y/n again, a gentle affirmation of their new relationship. y/n closed her eyes, savoring the sweetness of the moment, feeling grateful and content.

they stayed like that for a while, wrapped up in each other's presence, the quiet intimacy of the room surrounding them in their own little bubble.

for y/n, it felt like everything had fallen into place, like she had found something she hadn't even known she was searching for. 

and for lisa, she knew she wasn’t ever going to let the other girl go, no matter what. if the world spun, it was because of y/n. if the sky was blue, it was for y/n. there was nothing in this world that wasn’t because of y/n, and she intended to always see it that way.

forever.

melting like an ice cream when you smile

melting, you're a daydream, stay a while

TAGLIST ⸺ ✭ @silantryoo @rosiehrs @niniwhiskers @cwpiqwon @jisooftme @1luvkarina @scarfac3 @santasbitch @lisas-earlobe @wallfl9wer @aerihiltonn @unforgivenangel @uzumakioden @skydreamed @haerinfangs @la-douleur-ne-finit-jamais @haerinkisser @giginings @lilsvx @milanlaia @pandafuriosa60 @wifey-badalee @slowlyturninggay291 @dreamingst99 @7daysronnie

CLOSED.

[candylandphotos]

Young beauty model natural organic makeup skincare

"Nurturing Youthful Beauty: Elevating with Natural Organic Makeup and Skincare ✨🌿"

[xblackreader]

NSFW Sydcarmy AU - MDNI <3

Sydney and Carmen are neighbors, have been for the past five months.

And in those five months of him timing his leave so they can walk to the elevator, him sometimes picking up her mail so she can invite him in to try one of her pastries, or perhaps the times when he catches glimpses of her leaving early in the morning for an appointment with her hair stylist.

She’ll come back with silky straightened hair, long swaying braids or sometimes a slicked back ponytail that he didn’t even know was possible.

She had a bakery around four blocks from here and had invited him to come, he wanted to take her up on her offer, but never found the nerve. Afraid she had just been offering the building recluse out of kindness.

He finds his paintings start to develop brown red eyes and thick shapely thighs. The women in his pieces are no longer anonymous and the gallery who commissions him says these feel much more personal, the public is loving it so much he might get his own installation.

He never tells Sydney that she has become his muse.

His art becomes more raunchy, less conservative as time goes on. The woman with the glamorous Afro in his works always has a man at her feet, touching her skin and tasting her radiance.

The man is never him.

It’s one of the John’s she keeps. They started to come with her around two months ago, a different man almost every time. They stumbled up away from the elevator following her clicking heels like a lost puppy.

Carmy watched them through the crack in his door, their clumsy hands holding her hips and flirtatious giggles escaping her lips. Sydney would shush them with a finger and Carmy would burn with jealousy.

It felt like he was a dog having to watch everyone else get a treat he had been begging for.

The men would leave promptly, half dressed if she would throw them out and Carmy would feel triumphant. She never wanted them to stay, she probably never let them cuddle her or kiss her lips again once they had fulfilled their purpose.

He felt superior to them. They would never feel her love again.

But he might never feel it at all.

The thin walls uncovered their most vulnerable moments and Carmen heard it all, how their voices would tremble when she touched them on spots only she could find, how each of them climaxed. They’re groan out her name or some curse while she gasped out wantonly, the creaking of the bed on the other side staking his heart and twisting it deeper.

His turgid erection throbbing in his own hand while he listened to other men get her off every other night. He’d finish when she did, imagining the friction around his length was her silky entrance. Imagining it was him touching her willowy figure, removing her heels and kissing every inch of her endless legs.

Wishing he was one of her toys to pick up and throw away.

Sometimes he heard her kick them out prematurely, grunting that they had been unable to fulfill her needs before she slammed the door behind them. He faintly heard her open her bedside drawer and the light buzzing that followed always made him smile, stroking his cock at the sounds of the unadulterated pleasure she was bringing herself.

He imagined her laid out like a model, rose petals scattered around her figure while her face scrunched up in effortless ‘O’s with her fingers disappearing where her thighs met.

He’d lean into the wall separating them and trick himself into hearing his name form on her tongue.

Carmen will paint what he imagined. Her body stop the apex of a man groin, her pouty lips wrapped around faceless fingers, her back arched off the mattress as she surrenders to bliss.

Then he goes downstairs the next morning , picks up her mail and brings it to her. She’ll smile and invite him in to try a scone, a muffin or a new creation she’s already made.

He eats her food, scans her apartment for material to set the scene of his next fantasy and leaves with a thank you.

“Carmen.”

He stood just short of his door one morning, not expecting to see her in the hallway so early, “H- hello, hi… Yes, Sydney? Good morning.” He blathers, and she glows like a goddess.

“Y’know, I could pose for one, someday. If you like.”

<3

lol pathetic yearning cuck! carmy go brr

[doodle-pops]

A Lot Like Love

Erestor x reader

Request: Hello! i would like story with Erestor as first love story please ? In rivendell and the summertime vibes - @sofyawiththelves

Words: 800

Warnings: none

Synopsis: The love story of how you captured Erestor’s heart on a warm summer’s day.

Love was never an emotion Erestor claimed to have experienced, but understood the raw passionate chokehold it placed on people. The countless novels of love at first and love conquering all played out vividly before his eyes between others. He knew what it looked like, but never felt, touched or tasted it. To imagine the colours of love whenever it struck him, should ever he be blessed to live in the moment, was serendipitous.

Erestor found himself on a stroll, meandering through the market stalls filled with merchants and local shopkeepers, searching. For what? He didn't truly know, until...

He found himself in an unprecedented state of nervousness, an unsettling sensation akin to a whirlwind of butterflies taking flight within the depths of his stomach. What made this feeling particularly absurd was the fact that it struck him in broad daylight, amidst a bustling crowd of people.

Who were you and where had you manifested from? Why had it taken him this long to notice your presence?

No matter how hard he attempted to dismiss it, he couldn’t banish this overpowering emotion. It was as though you were an unstoppable and immovable force who had infiltrated his being, someone who seemed acutely aware of the impact you had on those around you. Your enigmatic figure casually meandered through the area, seemingly oblivious to his own statue-like presence.

A sly smile graced your lips, stretching into unrestrained laughter. It was evident that you found amusement in his starstruck demeanour, the sparkle in your eyes betraying your true intentions. This façade was deliberate, he was convinced; you couldn’t possibly be so naive as to overlook the repercussions of your actions.

You strolled about with an effortless elegance, your hair adorned with flowers like a personal halo, and a natural radiance that outshone the sun itself. The summer sun could not maintain its glow when you existed. It was impossible to outshine your very existence. And so, he silently cursed the heavens for placing such an angelic being on this accursed earth, forced to mingle with a motley crew of ruffians. The question that consumed his thoughts was why you had chosen to be here, among those who failed to recognize and adore them as you truly deserved.

Your garments flowed gracefully with each step, mirroring the fluidity of your body’s movements as you hopped from one vendor stall to another. Laughter erupted as you pointed out items and engagingly interacted with the vendors. For all the years he had dwelled in this city, he had been under an enchantment, unable to perceive such unfathomable beauty, magnificence, and perfection. Or perhaps it was his own eyes that had been shrouded by a veil, obscuring his view of this incredible allure.

Such magnificence should be treasured and adored, and put into poetry to be read thousands of times over and over again with cravings to capture the essence of how ethereal you are.

He yearned to reach out and grasp the aura that surrounded you, the presence that enveloped your being and bestowed upon them such mirth. He wished to immerse himself in it, letting it warm his soul and dispel the lingering coldness that had haunted him for years. You were his reason to smile, his reason to exist, his reason to truly live after years of mere existence. He was willing to allow your sunshine to penetrate his life and bring about the change he so desperately needed—for you, for himself.

With the noon sun still high in the sky and the streets relatively deserted, he saw an opportunity. No one seemed to care about his identity at that moment as he strode purposefully through the vendor stalls, making his way towards the person who had ignited this newfound hope within him.

With your focus locked onto a small, exquisitely beautiful hairpin, he sucked in a deep breath and adjusted his hair. Now was the moment, just like in the romance stories he read where the man would approach the woman and swoon her with something unforgettable. This was his moment to repeat all his years of fantasising.

Calling out to you, he watched as you turned to meet his gaze; his eyes capturing a mix of anxiety, courage, and hope. In that moment, the world seemed to hold its breath. Everything fell into perfect alignment, he spoke softly, capturing your attention that was the start of forever. “May I be acquainted with such a magnificent beauty?”

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[flickering-chandelier]

Will It Patch Your Broken Wings?  // ALTERNATE ANGST ENDING 

A/N: I’m trying something out here, and I hope it makes sense. 😅 I got a dm request for an angsty ending for this fic, and a lot of you wanted to see Azriel pay for his crimes, so here you go! I kept the beginning the same, and the new ending starts after the row of black hearts 🖤🖤🖤

Here’s the original request that the story came from! Enjoy! 

Betty, I know where it all went wrong

Your favorite song was playing

From the far side of the gym

I was nowhere to be found

I hate the crowds, you know that

Plus, I saw you dance with him

Azriel grimaced as you led him through Rita’s, your hand in his, a bounce in your step. You loved it here: the energy, the dancing, the music. 

Azriel, on the other hand, pretty much hated it. But he loved you, so he went along. 

The music was pounding in Azriel’s mind, overwhelming his senses. He could normally block it out and will his body to be loose enough to attempt to dance with you, but today had been a particularly long day in which he had to… secure information from some traitors. 

He didn’t let his memory go past that, not when he was with you. But it had been a day. A terrible day. 

You were dancing now, like you were born to do it, like you didn’t care at all who was watching. You turned to him, a bright smile lighting up your face, and he couldn’t help but soften at the sight, feeling comforted by your effortless radiance. 

He would never understand why you had chosen him. He was thankful of course, but he was willing to admit the two of you sometimes seemed like an unlikely pair. You were bright and bubbly, lighting up every room -- a direct juxtaposition to his shadows, his darkness, his tendency to be stoic and silent. 

Watching him stay completely still in the middle of the crowd, your face fell, and you sidled up to him, craning your neck to look him in the eyes as you got closer, wrapping your arms around his waist. “Are you okay? We can go home if you want.”

Azriel smiled faintly at you, dipping his head to give you a quick kiss. “Long day. You can dance. I’m going for a drink.”

You nodded, but still eyed him warily for a moment, gaze lingering on his swirling shadows, before turning back to the dance floor. 

By the time Azriel got his drink (the strongest they had), you were fully engrossed in a song that he realized was one of your favorites. He watched as you writhed on the middle of the dance floor, swaying your hips, a bright smile on your face. 

A male came up to you then, taking your hand and twirling you under his arm. You laughed brightly before moving away from him, dancing on your own once again. 

Azriel couldn’t stop his heart from plummeting. That’s the kind of male she should be with, he thought. The kind that goes to a normal job and comes home without shadows or demons to chase away in his mind. The kind that can dance and twirl and laugh with you without a care in the world. 

He watched as you danced and danced, occasionally dancing with a random male for a moment before moving on.

She deserves better than you. She always has.

His breath was coming faster and faster now, the music pounding in his ears, through his skull, all that heat from so many bodies closing in on him. He had to get out, had to stretch his wings, had to get out.

Azriel shoved through the crowd and burst through the doors, out into the cool night, stretching out his wings and breathing deeply. He cursed himself. He was normally better than this, better at maintaining his emotions, his panic. By the Cauldron, he was the Night Court’s spymaster and he couldn’t handle an evening in a nightclub with his lover. 

Pathetic. That’s what he was.

“Are you okay?” a light, sing-songy voice broke through his rumbling thoughts.

He turned to see a very pretty High Fae woman. She was dressed a bit like Mor, he couldn’t help thinking, wearing a thin red dress that showed off all her assets, her light brown hair cascading down past her shoulders. 

She gave him a look that he hadn’t seen, or at least paid attention to, from a stranger in a very long time. 

He blinked. “Honestly? I don’t think so.”

Her lips slowly curved up into a sultry smile. “Anything I would be able to help you with?”

No. No, you cannot help me. I don't think anybody can.

She watched him, her eyes sparkling with mischief, before she tilted her head for him to follow. 

And Mother save him, he did.

---

And I can see us twisted in bedsheets

August sipped away like a bottle of wine

'Cause you were never mine.

Your heart had been pounding, your body trembling, ever since you realized that Azriel was nowhere to be found. 

Something must have happened to him. It was the only explanation. He wouldn’t just leave you without a word. 

But, what could have possibly happened to the shadowsinger, in Velaris, of all places?

Your hand shook as you raised it to pound on the door of the river house.

Rhysand was the one who answered, shirtless, hair a mess. He looked very unhappy to see you. 

“I need you to find Azriel,” you nearly shouted before he could scold you.

He sobered immediately, noticing your distress. “What do you mean?”

You explained to him what had happened, that he had seemed off at Rita's, that he told you he was going to get a drink, then vanished. You had assumed that he had been lingering on the outskirts of the dance floor, and didn't notice for quite some time that he had left completely.

“I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation,” he said soothingly. “Did you check your apartment?”

You nodded. He wasn't there, at the home he shared with you. “And the townhouse.”

Rhysand's violet eyes were contemplative. Hesitating.

“Can't you just…feel for him or whatever?”

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Yeah. I can.”

“Then do it!”

Rhysand's eyes went unfocused after a beat, and when they widened again in surprise, you knew he had found him.

“What is it? Is he okay?”

“He's… at a random apartment. At least it's not one that I recognize.”

Your heart lurched. “What? Why?”

Rhys shrugged, his expression darkening. “Okay. Shit. Wait here, I'll go tell Feyre what's going on and take you to him.”

Rhysand came back a moment later, now in his normal black attire, and winnowed you in front of an apartment complex not far from Rita's. You had certainly never been here before. The silence was agony as you followed Rhys up the stairs, to the door.

He glanced back at you, a question in his eyes. You shook your head and he knocked, the sound rattling around in your skull.

You heard shuffling, giggling, and then.

Then.

A woman answered the door. A beautiful woman who was wearing Azriel's shirt.

A woman who was wearing your lover’s shirt and nothing else.

Your knees nearly buckled. You tasted bile in your mouth. You were going to be sick.

She cocked her head to the side. “Yes?”

Rhysand was deathly still, his power rippling from him, darkening the doorway. You remained behind him, but you had to know. Had to know for sure.

So you peeked around Rhysand's shoulder, further into the woman's apartment.

And saw Azriel, bare chested, lying in her bed, the sheets bunched up at his waist, his wings drooping on the ground, his hand tucked under his head, staring at the ceiling, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

You barely had time to spin around before you emptied your stomach in the hallway.

---

The worst thing that I ever did 

was what I did to you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Az?” Rhysand's voice boomed from the door the woman had just answered.

Hearing such a familiar voice in such an unfamiliar setting was initially what shocked Azriel enough that he nearly fell out of bed.

Then it hit him.

Rhysand was here. 

No no no no no no--

Azriel scrambled up out of the woman's bed, frantically searching for his pants and tugging them on. 

“I-”

“Don't answer that.” Rhysand spat, and it was then that Azriel realized Rhys was holding you upright as both of you lingered in the doorway.

His heart stopped working. His mind stopped working.

He said your name, but it came out more like a croak.

You were trembling in Rhysand's arms, tears sliding down your cheeks.

What had he done what had he done what had he done--

Azriel took a step forward, but you recoiled, and he knew you would've fallen to the ground if Rhysand hadn't been holding you.

You looked… afraid of him. Not just hurt, not just disgusted, but actually afraid.

He said your name again, his voice and his heart breaking, but you turned to Rhysand and said in the smallest voice he'd ever heard, “Get me away from him.”

Rhysand shot you one last withering glance before he winnowed out of sight, taking you with him.

It was silent for a moment, until the woman said, “If I'd known you were such an asshole, I never would have done this.”

Azriel sank to his knees and wept.

---

You drew stars around my scars

But now I'm bleeding.

Back at the river house, Feyre was holding you as your body continued to shake, silent tears continued to fall, while Rhysand paced back and forth, rage radiating off of him.

“Azriel?” Feyre asked, wide eyed. “Our Azriel?”

“He's certainly not mine anymore,” you sniffed, and Feyre winced, shooting you an apologetic glance, holding you a little tighter.

“I can't believe it,” Rhys said, still pacing in the spare room where they had set you up for the night. “I cannot believe him.”

There was a knock on the door of the house and you froze. You all knew who it was.

You looked at Rhys, your eyes pleading.

“I won't let him in,” he said, his expression softening as he turned to you. “I'll ward the fucking house against him if I have to,” he growled, mostly to himself, as he retreated to send him away.

You leaned further into Feyre, grateful for your friends.

For his friends, you realized. His family.

They were on your side now, but you knew where their allegiance would ultimately lie.

In losing Azriel, you would lose your family, too.

Sobs racked your body then, and Feyre held on tight, settling her cheek on the top of your head. 

You thought of all the walls Azriel had broken down around your heart, all the promises he had made about love and forever. All the broken pieces of you that you had let him see, that he had helped you heal.

But it was all a lie.

You couldn't stop seeing it -- the woman, naked except for his shirt; Azriel, naked in her bed.

You wept and wept until there was absolutely nothing left of you.

---

A friend to all is a friend to none

Chase two girls, lose the one.

Azriel had come to the river house twice a day for the past three days. 

Each time, Rhysand opened the door, molten hot rage in his eyes, and told him to leave, that you weren’t ready yet. Azriel couldn’t blame him.

He knew there was nothing he could do, nothing he could say to make it better. To make you better. He could try to explain what he had been feeling that night, but it wouldn’t matter, not really. It was all excuses, and he knew it. 

Azriel had destroyed everything. And now he just had to watch as his world burned down. 

Letting out a shuddering sigh, he knocked on Rhysand’s door, expecting to see his pissed off brother again, but it was Feyre who appeared.

He had never seen his High Lady look so disappointed. He hated that it was directed at him. 

“How could you do it?” she said, crossing her arms, leaning against the doorway.

Azriel felt tears prickling his eyes, and willed them not to fall. “I never felt like I deserved her,” he said quietly. 

“Well you definitely don’t now.”

He winced. “I know. I just -- I want to see her. How is she?”

Feyre furrowed her brow, furious. “How is she? She hasn’t left her room since she got here. Elain’s been forcing water down her throat so she doesn’t shrivel up and die, that’s how she is.”

Azriel swallowed, trying to steady his shaking hands. He felt like he was drowning. He wished he would, if it meant that it would make you stop feeling like that. “Do you think she’ll talk to me?”

She studied him, her mouth a hard, thin line. Finally, she turned, heading inside and he followed her, his knees wobbling. 

When they made it to your door, she knocked softly, saying through the door, “He’s here.”

Azriel held his breath until the door opened, slowly. 

And when he saw you, he couldn’t breathe. You looked… devastating. Your eyes were red and swollen, you were pale, your hair was a mess. 

It was his fault. He had done this to you. He felt sick.

Your eyes were hollow when you looked at him, like you didn’t feel anything at all. 

“Do you want me to stay?” Feyre asked you quietly.

You shook your head, your eyes darting away from Azriel. Feyre shot him a warning glare before she reluctantly went down the hallway. 

You turned, moving to sit on the bed that looked like it hadn’t been made in days, every movement you made looking wary, exhausted. Destroyed. Your eyes were fixed on your hands in your lap, unwilling to look at him. 

Azriel lingered just inside the room, feeling uncomfortable in his skin. He longed to hold you in his arms, to kiss your pain away. 

He said your name, willing you to look at him. You flinched. 

It felt like a punch to the gut. Azriel wanted the earth to swallow him whole.

“I am so, so sorry,” he rasped.

You shook your head, not looking up. “How could you do this, Az? How could you do this to me?” Your voice cracked when you said his name. 

Tears started to fall down his own cheeks as he said, “I… don’t know. I wasn’t thinking. I saw you dancing with those males, looking so carefree, and I didn’t feel like I fit into that part of your life. I’ve always felt like you deserved someone better than me, someone… easier.”

Finally, you looked up at him, and he wished you hadn’t. Your eyes were full of fury. And hurt. He had never seen you like that before. “You cheated on me because I danced with some guys for two seconds?”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Azriel tried. 

“You think I wanted somebody like them? Somebody easier?”

Azriel opened his mouth, then closed it again. “I thought--”

“I wanted you,” you spat, and he recoiled at the hurt in your voice, at the pain in your eyes that he had put there. “All I ever wanted was you.”

He couldn't breathe. His voice came out weaker than he had ever heard it, “I'm sorry. It was a mistake, I'm a miserable, miserable fool. I want you. You're all I want.”

You laughed, but it was a hollow, bitter sound. “How can you even say that after what you did?”

“I know, you’re right,” he sighed, raking a scarred hand through his hair, his shadows dancing around his arms. “It doesn’t make sense, what I did. It was stupid and awful, and the worst thing that I’ve ever done, and I am so so sorry,” he said, taking a step forward, reaching his hand out to take yours. 

“Don’t touch me,” you spat, wrenching your hand away.

He blinked, taking a step back, his heart in his throat. 

“You said you loved me,” you said, your voice now barely a whisper, as if all your energy had been completely drained. “You said you wanted to be with me forever. Did you ever mean any of it?”

“Of course I did,” he said softly. “I still do. I love you. I want you.”

You sniffed, putting your head in your hands. “Well. You should’ve thought of that before you fucked her.”

He blanched at your tone, at your language. He didn’t think you’d ever said that word before, at least not around him.

“Please,” he said, his voice breaking, as he knelt down in front of you, trying to meet your eyes. “Please, what can I do? What can I do to fix this?”

Your eyes rose to meet his. You took in the sight, the shadowsinger kneeling before you, begging for your forgiveness. “You can’t fix it,” you said, seething. “You left me. You abandoned me at Rita’s. Do you have any idea how that felt? I thought something horrible had happened to you!”

Azriel tightened his jaw. He hadn’t known, hadn’t even thought about --

“And then to see you. With her. In her bed,” you broke off, looking at the ceiling, trying to keep the tears from falling, he knew.

“I’m sorry.” It was all he could say. His tears were flowing down his cheeks now and he hastily wiped them away, not wanting to take his eyes off you for fear that you would vanish.

After a long moment, you leveled your gaze on him again. “Would you have told me? If I wasn’t worried sick, if I had just gone home, and waited for you to stumble on in, would you have told me? Or would you just keep acting like everything was fine, knowing that you had just betrayed me?”

Azriel swallowed hard. He thought about the guilt he had felt immediately, how he was contemplating what the hell he was going to tell you as he was staring at that ceiling before Rhysand had knocked. “I would’ve told you,” he said, his voice husky. “I was going to tell you.”

You scoffed, shaking your head, looking anywhere but him. “I don’t even know why I asked. How can I trust anything you say?”

“I don’t know. But it’s true,” he said, shifting on his knees, wishing he could reach for your hand. 

Hiding your face in your hands, you said, barely audibly, “I hate you. I hate you for doing this to me and making me feel like this.”

Azriel’s heart finally shattered completely. He knew he would never be able to put the pieces back together, as long as he lived. He had done this to you, his beautiful, bubbly, happy love. Reduced to this. To hating him. And he couldn’t even blame you. 

“I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice barely above a whisper. “I love you.”

“Stop saying that,” you cried. 

“It’s true. It’s all I’ve got. I won’t try to make excuses, I’m just … I’m sorry. And I love you. I’ll never stop loving you.”

You sniffled, and took your hands away from your face, looking to the ceiling once again, like you were steeling yourself to say what you were about to. “I never want to see you again,” you said, weakly. “You can have the apartment. Elain and Nesta are packing my things right now.”

Azriel shook his head, his panic rising, “No, no, you don’t have to--”

“I do,” you cut him off. “It’s done, Az. We’re done,” you rose off the bed and went to the washroom, looking unsteady on your feet. “You can go now.”

You shut yourself in behind the closed door, and it was five hundred years of will and training that carried his legs out of the river house, and out of your life forever.

Azriel took to the sky, flying and flying, the wind biting at his skin, at his eyes. He kept picturing your heartbroken expression, the words you spoke to him.

He didn't stop flying until he made it to the depths of the Illyrian mountains, where he knew he would be well and truly alone.

Spotting a flat section nestled between several mountains, he landed in the snow, barely stopping long enough to punch the mountainside. It was stupid, he knew, he was more likely to break his hand than blow off any of this steam, but he had to do something to stop this pain, this panic, this despair that he could blame on nobody but himself.

He had lost you. He had lost the love of his life forever because he couldn't overcome his fears. He had been so scared that he wasn't good enough for you that he made sure that it was true.

Grunting, he punched the mountainside over and over again until his knuckles bled, and then he punched it some more. Tears froze on his cheeks, the wind chilling him to the bone.

Az was dimly aware of someone landing behind him, so hard it shook the ground beneath his feet. He kept punching.

“You're not going to solve your problems out here,” Cassian called to him.

Finally, Azriel halted, turning around to face his brother. “You know, we have better things to punch,” Cassian added.

Azriel scowled, sinking into the snow, exhausted.

Cassian strode over to him, plopping down a few feet away, hissing at the cold now sleeping through his pants. He studied Azriel, seemingly waiting for him to speak.

“She hates me,” Azriel whispered finally. “She said she never wants to see me again.”

Cassian sucked a breath in through his teeth. “Fuck.”

Azriel could only nod sadly.

“You know she didn't mean it. At least not the second part. She loves you.”

Sniffing, wiping at his eyes, Azriel groaned. “I don't know if she does anymore.”

“She does,” Cassian said quietly. “I know she does.”

After a beat of silence, Cassian asked, “What are you going to do?”

Azriel shrugged, watching his bloody hands start to heal. “Well. I could either hang around, keep apologizing, and piss her off more, or… leave her alone…”

“And piss her off more,” Cassian added.

A dry laugh escaped Azriel. “Exactly.”

Cassian was quiet for a moment, seemingly pondering how to help him.

“I’m not giving up on her,” Azriel finally said, with more conviction than he felt. “I just… I don't want to make it worse.”

“Az, I hate to tell you this, but I don't think it could get much worse,” Cassian said, grimacing.

Azriel just sighed, stretching out his wings behind him.

---

I knew I'd curse you for the longest time

Chasing shadows in the grocery line.

Seeing Azriel again, seeing him beg on his knees for your forgiveness, seeing how hollow his eyes looked, how his shadows were so unrelenting around him, had absolutely wrecked you. 

It was another few days until you had the courage to leave the river house at all. 

Azriel had come back to the river house several times, but you had your friends send him away. You couldn’t bear to see him again. 

Feyre and Rhysand had checked on you frequently during your stay at their house, consoling you, cursing Azriel’s name right along with you. Rhys had even loaned you what you needed to get your own apartment, on the other side of Velaris from the one that you once shared with Azriel.

That part seemed to make it final, somehow. You could almost convince yourself it had all been a dream until you made your way to your new, empty apartment, without a trace of the love that used to be yours. 

That empty apartment wrecked you all over again, and as you looked around it for the first time, your body folded in half, arms wrapping around your stomach as your body racked with sobs. 

You had started to regret insisting that you do this part by yourself. 

It was really over. Azriel really cheated on you and it was really done. 

You knew it was time to start distancing yourself from Azriel’s family. They had undoubtedly been on your side this whole time, but even Rhysand and Feyre were starting to change their tune slightly. You know he loves you still. You know he’s a good male. You know he’s so sorry.

You understood where they were coming from, really, you did. 

But that didn’t make it hurt less. What you needed was to hate him. It was the only way you could ever bring yourself to move on, to start living your life again.

You had been solemnly unpacking for a few hours when there was a knock on your door. You stiffened immediately. Rhysand and Feyre had said that they wouldn’t tell Azriel where you lived, but maybe he had figured it out?

“Relax sweetheart, it’s me,” Cassian said on the other side of the door, and you did relax, if only slightly. You hadn’t seen him since before this all started.

Reluctantly you let him in. He was sauntering, wearing that easy smirk he always donned. You couldn’t decide if it was comforting or annoying. 

Cassian whistled as he looked around. “Nice place.”

You settled on the couch, tucking your feet underneath you. “What are you doing here?”

His eyes softened as he walked closer to you, then perched next to you on the couch, not quite relaxed. “I wanted to check on you.”

“You can report back to Azriel that I’m just as pissed as ever,” you grumbled. 

“He doesn’t know I’m here,” Cassian said quietly. 

Skeptically, you turned to face him. You were sure he would be the most likely to take Azriel’s side. 

After a moment, Cassian said, “If it’s any consolation, he hates himself probably about as much as you hate him right now.”

“I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse,” you admitted.

Cassian sighed, leaning back into the couch. “Did you mean it? That you never wanted to see him again?”

You shifted, hugging your knees to your chest. “In the moment I did. Thinking about seeing him now… it breaks me apart. But, thinking about the rest of my life completely without him…”

“That breaks you apart too?” Cassian offered.

You nodded, tears stinging your eyes.

“Okay, look,” Cassian said, turning so he fully faced you. “I’m going to tell you something. You’re my friend and he’s my brother, and I love you both, so I need you to know I’m not trying to convince you of anything, I am merely giving you information. Okay?”

“O-kay…”

He took a deep breath, seemingly gathering his thoughts, before he continued. “Azriel has always felt like he was inferior. The way he was raised… he carries that around more than a lot of people think. He often thinks that he isn’t good enough for people, but especially you.”

“How do you know?” You knew that Az still dealt with a lot from his childhood, but he wouldn’t often voice those things to you. He had mentioned something about not feeling good enough when you saw him, but you weren’t sure what to make of it.

“He mentioned it to me a few times, that he didn’t feel like he was the kind of person you should be with. You’re so bright and bubbly, he felt like you deserved somebody who was the same.”

You rested your cheek on your knee, trying to digest the information. “But… he must have known I never actually felt like that, right?”

Cassian shrugged. “On a good day, maybe. But deep down I think he always had it in the back of his mind: that fear that he wasn’t right for you.”

“He should’ve told me,” you said quietly.

“I agree. And I’m not saying that it excuses what he did, but that day…it was a hard one for him. What he had to do in the Court of Nightmares.”

Your stomach dropped. You hadn’t even thought about that. 

“Well, he should’ve told me that too.”

Cassian nodded. “Yes. He should have.”

You groaned. “I hate this.”

“I know,” he said quietly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him. “I’m sorry.”

Cassian let you cry on his chest for a long moment before he said, “hH wants to come see you, you know. He doesn't want to give up on you.”

When you didn't respond, he said softly, “Just think about it.”

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

You did think about it. And the more you thought about it, the angrier you got. 

Azriel and you had been together for years. You knew him. You knew that he sometimes got insecure, that he felt like the two of you were on opposite sides of the world sometimes in terms of your personalities. But, who cares?

When you’re insecure, you tell your partner. You express your concerns like an adult. You don’t go and cheat on them, and then act like it’ll all be okay, because you’re in love.

You were seething, your thoughts racing around your mind over and over again while you walked through the market.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could have sworn that you saw the curl of a shadow trying to hide from the sunlight.

Blinking away the thought, you kept walking, determined not to let him get to you, not to let him haunt your countless thoughts surrounding what-if.

Later, after you had picked up what you had come for, you were shocked to see that Azriel indeed was there. The shadow you had spotted wasn't just a figment of your imagination, but him staring right at you across the crowd.

You were frozen as he made his way over to you, his face blank as ever, but his eyes stormy with emotion, with pain.

“Hey,” he said, clearly nervous, his muscles taut, his wings tucked tightly behind him.

Crossing your arms over your chest, you said, “What do you want?”

Azriel winced, his brow furrowed. “I miss you. I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

You scoffed. “How I'm doing? I'm awful, Azriel. Obviously.”

Grimacing, he said, “I'm sorry. If there's anything I can do-”

“There's nothing you can do,” you seethed, your voice raising. People around you were looking. You didn't care. “You betrayed me, don't you understand that? Don't you see how you hurt me? Do you even care what it'll take for me to ever trust anyone again?”

A single tear ran down his cheek as he reached his hand out to you, before dropping it again. “I'm sorry,” he said quietly, his voice breaking.

“I know you are Az, but it's not enough,” you said, your voice cracking as you focused on reining in your own tears. “You should've talked to me.”

“I know,” he croaked. “I'm sorry.”

You shook your head. “I can't unsee it,” you whispered. “For as long as I live, I'll never unsee it.”

Azriel murmured your name, his expression the very picture of anguish.

But you took a step back, forcing your tears back in, willing yourself to be strong. “I have to go,” you said, then turned from him, darting away as quickly as your feet would carry you.

---

But if I just showed up at your party

Would you have me? Would you want me?

Would you tell me to go fuck myself?

Or lead me to the garden?

It had been weeks since Azriel had torn his own world apart with his bare hands, taking you down with him.

He didn't know what to do. He didn't know if there was anything to do. He didn't know where you lived, didn't know your routine anymore.

He was well and truly losing every scrap of you that he had ever had.

And it was killing him.

He stumbled into the river house one day, feeling absolutely miserable. 

It was made even worse when it was you he saw first, sitting with Feyre near the foyer.

Feyre's face twisted with concern immediately, her eyes flicking to you, perhaps silently communicating to you, I swear I didn't know he was coming.

Azriel could only watch as your face contorted with disgust as your gaze landed on him. 

His heart shattered, remembering the way your eyes used to light up when he would walk into the room, your smile bright just for him.

Before he could say anything, you got up and exited the house without a word.

Azriel watched you go, his heart breaking more with each step you took.

“She really meant it,” he said quietly, more to himself than to Feyre. “She really wants nothing to do with me.”

“She's really hurt, Az,” Feyre said gently. “She's trying to move on. I think you should let her.”

His heart sank. “I still love her,” he said, tears pricking his eyes.

“I know you do. But some things…they just can't be fixed.”

Azriel knew that she was right. That he had made his bed and now would have to lie in it.

What a miserable, long existence it would be, without you. He wondered how many times this would keep happening, when he would run into you somewhere and you would run away.

A long, long time, he guessed.

He wondered how long it would be until he stopped feeling like his lungs were caving in, til he could get a full breath.

All he could do was wait.

@loving-and-dreaming @birdsflyhome @hanuh @sheblogs @iambored24601 @thalia-as-blog @evergreenlark @ecliphttlunar @bookloverandalsocats @melmo567 @headacheseason @sillysillygoose444 @yourqueenlilith @mariamay02 @halibshepherd @azrielshadows1nger

[nayziiz]

Shadows | LN4

Summary: [Mafia] In the face of dire financial troubles, Lando receives a desperate plea from his father to unearth a lucrative solution within the family business. Fueled by the pressure to rescue his family from ruin, Lando stumbles upon a seemingly perfect venture—using luxury cars as a facade for the clandestine world of drug trafficking. With the unexpected partnership of Amelia Rossi, his father's best friend's daughter, Lando believes he has found the ideal accomplice. However, as the Norris family collides with the ambitious Russells in a ruthless bid to establish their dominance, the perilous path Lando has chosen places not only his newfound enterprise at stake but also entangles Amelia in the dangerous crossfire that unfolds.

Warning: Violence, drugs, blood, smut, fluff, guns

Pairing: Lando Norris x OC (Amelia Rossi) - appearances from other drivers

Masterlist

Chapter 5

The grand ballroom of the opulent hotel shimmered with the soft glow of chandeliers and the murmur of polite conversation as the elite of society gathered for the annual charity gala. Distinguished guests adorned in their finest attire mingled amongst one another, their laughter and clinking glasses filling the air with an air of sophistication and elegance.

As the guests mingled and the air buzzed with polite conversation, the Rossi family made their grand entrance into the gala. Among them, Amelia stood out like a beacon of grace and elegance, her every movement exuding a quiet confidence that drew the gaze of all who beheld her.

Dressed in a stunning light green gown that hugged her curves in all the right places, Amelia glided effortlessly through the crowd, her presence commanding attention at every turn. Her father, Harold, walked by her side, a proud smile gracing his lips as he watched his daughter navigate the sea of guests with poise and grace.

Beside him, Marilyn Rossi, Amelia's mother, radiated an aura of sophistication and grace, her elegant gown shimmering in the soft light of the ballroom as she moved with effortless grace.

As Amelia weaved her way through the crowd, her eyes sparkling with warmth and sincerity as she greeted each guest with genuine warmth and charm, Lando stood aside with his father, Adam, watching her with a mixture of admiration and longing.

With a glass of whisky in hand, Lando took a sip as he admired Amelia from afar, his gaze lingering on her with an intensity that belied his cool exterior. He couldn't help but marvel at the way her gown accentuated every curve of her body, the slit revealing a tantalising glimpse of smooth, tanned skin that sent a shiver of desire coursing through him.

Lost in his reverie, Lando found himself captivated by the sight of Amelia, her beauty transcending the confines of the crowded ballroom as she moved with effortless grace and elegance. And as he watched her, his heart swelled with a longing that he knew he could no longer ignore.

Amelia's presence at the gala didn't go unnoticed by George, also in attendance with his father, whose gaze was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. From across the room, he watched with a mixture of admiration and envy as she effortlessly charmed her way through the crowd, her beauty and grace captivating everyone in her orbit.

As Amelia smiled and laughed with other established individuals, her expert socialising skills on full display, George couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. He had known Amelia for years, but tonight, she seemed to shine brighter than ever before, her radiance casting a spell over everyone she encountered.

Despite his best efforts to maintain a composed exterior, George found himself unable to tear his eyes away from Amelia, his heart pounding with a mixture of desire and longing. He had always admired her from afar, but tonight, as he watched her move with effortless grace and elegance, he couldn't help but feel a surge of attraction that threatened to consume him.

Steve's words cut through George's thoughts like a knife, snapping him back to reality with a jolt. He turned to his father, his brow furrowed in concern as he considered the implications of Steve's statement.

“Her father is going to kill her when he finds out what she's been doing.” Steve reiterated, his tone laced with a hint of malice.

George sighed, feeling a sense of unease settling over him at the thought of the impending confrontation. He knew firsthand how strict Harold Rossi could be, especially when it came to matters of reputation and family honour.

“Is it really necessary to do it here?” George wondered aloud, his voice tinged with apprehension.

He couldn't bear the thought of Amelia being subjected to public humiliation and embarrassment, especially not in front of the other esteemed guests. Steve shrugged dismissively, his expression cold and calculating.

“Sometimes, a little public spectacle is necessary to drive home a point.” He replied, his tone dripping with disdain.

George glanced back at Amelia, his heart aching at the thought of what awaited her once her father discovered the truth. He knew he had to find a way to warn her, to spare her from the fallout of her actions, but he also knew that time was running out.

George's heart sank as he watched Harold approach Steve, his fears of a confrontation escalating with each step his father took. Despite his best efforts to intervene, he found himself rooted to the spot, powerless to prevent the impending clash between the two patriarchs.

With a forced smile etched on his face, Harold extended his hand to Steve, exchanging pleasantries with a practised ease that belied the tension simmering beneath the surface. George held his breath, his stomach churning with anxiety as he awaited the inevitable moment when their conversation would turn to the topic of Amelia.

As the two men shook hands, George could sense the undercurrent of animosity between them, the tension palpable in the air as they exchanged polite niceties. He knew that it was only a matter of time before Steve revealed the truth about Amelia's actions, and he braced himself for the fallout that would follow.

“Gentlemen.” Harold's words cut through the tension like a knife, momentarily diffusing the palpable atmosphere between the two men.

George breathed a sigh of relief as his father exchanged pleasantries with Harold, his heart lightening at the temporary reprieve from the impending confrontation.

“Good to see you, Mr Rossi.” George added, offering a polite smile as he joined in the exchange.

“Likewise, George.” Harold nodded in acknowledgment, his expression one of forced congeniality as he replied.

But it was Steve's next words that caught everyone off guard, his tone light and jovial as he turned his attention to the topic of Amelia.

“I must say, Harold, your daughter is a force to be reckoned with.” Steve noted with a hint of provocation in his voice.

“She is. I wouldn't expect anything less from her.” Harold chuckled, a proud gleam in his eye as he responded. The tension seemed to dissipate further as Harold continued, his words laced with humour. “Did she talk you out of buying another Mercedes?”

“Not this time, Harold.” Steve replied, a twinkle of amusement in his eye. “But I must say, your daughter has quite a compelling charm. I’m sure she has you wrapped around her finger.”

Steve's words cut through the air with a hint of jest, but Harold met them with a hearty laugh, his jovial demeanour belying the tension that had been simmering just moments before.

“Ah, you're not wrong there, Steve.” Harold replied, his voice tinged with pride as he glanced fondly in Amelia's direction. “She does have a way of getting what she wants.”

George couldn't help but smile at Harold’s words, knowing all too well the truth behind them. Amelia had always possessed a magnetic charm and an uncanny ability to win people over with her charisma and grace.

As Lando's eyes fell upon George, Steve and Harold standing together, a wave of unease washed over him. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss, sensing the tension lingering in the air like a storm brewing on the horizon.

Determined to shield Amelia from whatever trouble may be looming, Lando made his way through the crowd, his steps purposeful yet cautious. As he approached her, he felt a surge of protectiveness welling up inside him, a fierce determination to keep her safe from harm.

With a gentle touch, Lando snaked his arm around Amelia's waist, drawing her close to him in a gesture that took her by surprise. She turned to him, her eyes widening in surprise at the sudden contact, but a warm smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she met his gaze.

“Dance with me.” He instructed, his tone firm yet playful as they moved to the rhythm of the music.

“Well, hello to you too, Lando.” She teased, her eyes sparkling with amusement as she matched his steps with practised ease.

As they twirled and swayed to the music, Amelia couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over her in Lando's arms. Despite the uncertainty of their situation, she found solace in the familiarity of their connection, the unspoken bond that had always existed between them.

“Charles here?” Lando inquired, his voice soft as he looked into her eyes.

“He had business matters to tend to back in Monaco.” Amelia responded.replied, her tone tinged with regret. “And, Zara?”

“She had a shoot in Milan.” He explained, almost dismissive in his tone.

“Very nice. She seems to be making her way up in the world.” Amelia responded, her voice laced with fake amusement.

“Why is your father speaking with the Russells?” Lando suddenly asked, changing the subject completely.

Amelia's expression clouded slightly at Lando's question, her brows furrowing in concern as she followed his gaze to where her father stood in conversation with the Russells.

“I'm not sure.” She admitted, her voice tinged with uncertainty. “But it can't be anything good. You don’t think they’ll tell my father?”

Amelia's words hung heavy in the air, the weight of uncertainty settling over them like a suffocating blanket. Lando could see the worry etched into her features, the lines of concern deepening with each passing moment.

“You know we can't trust them.” Lando replied, his tone grim. “They'll do whatever it takes to further their own agenda, even if it means betraying us.”

“What do we do then?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Lando's jaw tightened with determination as he met her gaze.

“Deny everything and ask for evidence.” He stated firmly. “We won't let them destroy us without a fight.”

“This has become quite messy.” She murmured, her voice tinged with resignation.

“Just trust me, okay?” Lando asked, his eyes searching hers for any sign of doubt.

“Of course.” Amelia replied without hesitation, her trust in him unwavering despite the storm clouds gathering on the horizon.

Feeling the weight of the looming threat, Lando pressed a gentle kiss to Amelia's cheek, a silent reassurance of his unwavering support and protection. Drawing her closer into his embrace, he held her tightly as they continued to dance, their movements synchronised in perfect harmony.

As they swayed to the music, Lando kept a watchful eye on the men standing on the opposite side of the room, his senses alert for any signs of trouble. He could feel the tension in the air thickening with each passing moment, a silent reminder of the danger that lurked just beneath the surface. But despite the looming threat, Lando refused to let fear consume him. With Amelia by his side, he felt invincible.

When Adam approached Harold, Steve, and George, Steve saw the optimal opportunity to put his plan into action.

“Adam, good. You’re here. I have some rather... interesting information to share with you.” Steve announces. Adam and Harold exchanged a curious glance, their interest piqued by Steve's cryptic words.

“Go on.” Adam prompted, his tone laced with anticipation. Steve leaned back against the wall, a smug expression crossing his features as he revelled in the attention of his esteemed peers.

“You see, it seems your dear Lando and Amelia have been engaging in some rather... illicit activities behind our backs.” Steve admitted.

Adam's heart sank at Steve's revelation, a mixture of disbelief and anger coursing through him as he struggled to process the implications of his words. He exchanged a troubled glance with Harold, their shared concern evident in their expressions as they grappled with the shock of the news.

“Are you certain?” Harold asked, his voice tinged with desperation as he searched for any sign of doubt in Steve's demeanour. Steve nodded, his smug expression unwavering as he revelled in the discomfort of his colleagues.

“Quite certain.” He replied, his tone dripping with satisfaction. “It seems your children have been playing a dangerous game, and it's high time it's put to an end. Just ask them about the cars in her showroom.”

Harold's mind raced as he considered the implications of Steve's revelation. He couldn't believe that Lando and Amelia would be involved in such activities, but the evidence presented by Steve left little room for doubt. He felt a surge of anger rising within him, a fierce protectiveness for his daughter and a determination to get to the bottom of the situation.

“Thank you for bringing this to our attention, Steve.” Adam replied, his voice cold and controlled despite the turmoil raging within him. “We will address this matter immediately.”

As Steve sauntered away, a self-satisfied smirk playing on his lips, Adam turned to Harold with a steely determination in his eyes.

“I swear, if your son has Amelia involved in something illegal…” Harold started.

“We need to find out the truth.” Adam interrupted his friend, his voice resolute. “And we need to do it quickly, before this situation spirals out of control.”

As the music swirled around them, Adam and Harold approached Lando and Amelia mid-dance, their expressions grave as they beckoned for their children to follow them to a secluded area where they could talk in private.

Lando and Amelia exchanged a worried glance, their hearts sinking at the seriousness of their fathers' demeanour. With a silent nod, they followed Adam and Harold to a quiet corner of the room, away from the prying eyes and ears of the other guests.

Once they were alone, Adam and Harold turned to their children, their expressions a mixture of concern and disappointment.

“Lando, Amelia.” Adam began, his voice heavy with emotion. “We need to talk.”

Lando and Amelia exchanged a nervous glance, their hearts pounding in their chests as they waited for their fathers to speak.

“It's come to our attention that there have been... allegations made against you.” Harold continued, his voice strained with emotion. “Allegations of illegal activities.”

Lando and Amelia's eyes widened in shock, their minds racing as they tried to make sense of the accusations levelled against them. They exchanged a worried glance, their hearts heavy with dread at the gravity of the situation.

"We need to know the truth," Adam said, his voice firm but tinged with desperation. "Are these accusations true? Have you been engaging in illegal activities?"

Lando and Amelia exchanged a silent glance, their expressions grave as they prepared to confront the truth of their actions. With a heavy sigh, Lando spoke up, his voice filled with remorse.

“No. We’re not involved in anything illegal.” Lando lied.

Adam and Harold exchanged a sceptical glance, their expressions betraying their uncertainty at Lando and Amelia's vehement denials. They could sense the tension thickening in the air as the weight of the accusations hung heavy between them.

“Amelia, speak.” Harold instructed, his tone firm but tinged with concern.

Amelia's jaw tightened with frustration, her eyes flashing with indignation as she bristled at her father's request.

“I’m slightly offended that you would think I would ever get involved in something illegal.”She snapped, her words cutting through the tension like a knife.

“Watch your tone, Amelia.” Harold warned, his voice a low growl of warning.

But Amelia pressed on, her anger fueling her defiance as she continued to defend herself and Lando against the accusations.

“I suppose it’s Steve Russell who mentioned something to you?” Amelia queried.

“Correct.” Adam nodded.

“George has always been jealous of Lando and I. He could never accept the fact that we didn’t like him, so he runs to his father and creates a false narrative. You remember what happened back in high school, when he spread those God awful rumours.” Amelia explained, her voice tinged with bitterness.

Adam and Harold exchanged a troubled glance, the pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place as they considered Amelia's words.

“Lando, I know you’ve done some questionable business before, but you need to assure us that you have not and will not involve Amelia in any of that.” Adam began, his voice filled with concern

“Of course not, I swear.” Lando lied, the weight of his deception heavy on his conscience. Lando met his father's gaze, his expression earnest as he spoke.

“I’ll choose to believe you, but if I find out that you’ve lied to me, Amelia, you will suffer the consequences.” Harold threatened his daughter.

Harold's words hung in the air like a dark cloud, his threat echoing with a chilling finality that sent a shiver down Amelia's spine. She swallowed hard, the weight of her father's warning settling heavily on her shoulders as she met his stern gaze with a mixture of fear and defiance.

“I understand.” She replied, her voice barely above a whisper as she struggled to maintain her composure in the face of her father's anger.

Harold's expression softened slightly at her response, his eyes betraying a hint of sadness beneath their steely exterior.

“I hope you do.” He said quietly, his voice tinged with disappointment.

With a heavy sigh, Adam shot Lando a knowing look, a silent reminder of the gravity of their situation and the consequences of their actions. Lando met his father's gaze with a solemn nod, his own guilt weighing heavily on his conscience as he prepared to face the fallout of his deception.

And with that, the fathers disappeared back into the main hall, leaving Lando and Amelia alone with their thoughts and the weight of their secrets hanging heavy in the air. As they watched their fathers depart, a sense of unease settled over them, their minds racing with the implications of Harold's threat and the uncertain future that lay ahead. Lando reached out, gently placing a hand on Amelia's shoulder in a gesture of comfort.

“It's okay.” He murmured, his voice soft and reassuring. “You did what you had to do to protect yourself.”

Amelia nodded, her expression still clouded with guilt as she struggled to come to terms with the weight of her deception. 

“I've never lied to my father before. At least not about something this big.” She admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. Lando squeezed her shoulder gently, offering her a small smile of encouragement.

“Sometimes we have to do things we never thought we'd have to do. But you have me, so you shouldn’t have to worry.” He said quietly.

Despite Amelia's outward strength and independence, Lando had always seen the vulnerable side of her that lay beneath the surface. She may have excelled in martial arts and possessed an impressive knowledge of cars, but he knew that deep down, she still craved the reassurance and comfort that came from being truly understood and accepted.

Growing up as an only child, Amelia had often felt the weight of loneliness pressing down on her, her solitude echoing in the empty spaces of her heart. But Lando had been there for her every step of the way, his presence a constant source of support and companionship in a world that often felt cold and indifferent.

He had always made sure that she never had to face her struggles alone, dragging her along to parties and introducing her to new people, determined to keep her from feeling isolated or forgotten. In those moments of shared laughter and camaraderie, Amelia had found a sense of belonging that she had never known before, her heart lightened by the warmth of Lando's friendship and the love of his family.

Despite his efforts to focus on the task at hand, Lando couldn't shake the persistent dreams that had haunted him for years. In those dreams, Amelia always appeared as an ethereal figure, her presence radiant and pure, like an angel clothed in white. She seemed too good for the troubles that surrounded them, and yet she remained steadfast by his side, her unwavering support a beacon of light in the darkness.

But even as Lando grappled with his feelings for Amelia, another complication arose in the form of Zara. She was caught in the tangled web of their lives, aware of the special connection that existed between Lando and Amelia. Despite her best efforts to ignore it, Zara couldn't help but notice the way their gazes lingered a moment too long or the way their hugs held a hint of longing.

It was a forbidden dance, one in which they were unable to express the depths of their true feelings for each other. And as Lando found himself torn between his loyalty to Amelia and his growing affection for Zara, he couldn't help but wonder if there would ever come a time when they could cast aside the shackles of their secrets and embrace the love that had always been just out of reach.

“I think I might just kill George, honestly.” Amelia grunted as they made their way towards the main venue. Lando glanced at Amelia, a mixture of concern and amusement flickering in his eyes at her blunt statement.

“As satisfying as that might be at the moment, I don't think it would solve our problems.” He replied, his voice tinged with wry humour. Amelia huffed a laugh, her frustration evident in the way she walked, her steps heavy with determination.

“Maybe not.” She conceded, her tone sharp with frustration. “But it sure would feel good.”

Lando placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, offering her a small smile of understanding. 

“I know it's frustrating, Amelia, but let's focus on getting through tonight first. We can deal with George and his family tomorrow.” He said softly. Amelia nodded, her expression softening slightly at his words.

“You're right.” She admitted, her anger beginning to subside in the face of his calming presence.

As the charity gala unfolded around them, Lando stayed close to Amelia's side, his presence a reassuring warmth against the backdrop of the elegant ballroom. They moved together on the dance floor, their steps perfectly synchronised as they swayed to the rhythm of the music. Lando's hand rested gently on the small of Amelia's back, guiding her with a gentle touch that spoke volumes of his care for her.

In between dances, they found a quiet corner where they could steal a moment alone. Lando brushed a stray lock of hair away from Amelia's face, his touch feather-light against her cheek as he gazed at her with affection. They shared stories and laughter, their conversation flowing effortlessly as they revelled in each other's company.

As they made their way to the buffet table, Lando's hand found hers, his fingers intertwining with hers in a silent gesture of solidarity. He watched with adoration as Amelia's eyes lit up with delight at the sight of her favourite dishes, his heart swelling with love at the simple joy she found in the little things.

Throughout the evening, Lando remained attuned to Amelia's needs, offering her a comforting arm when she grew tired and a supportive shoulder when she needed someone to lean on. And as the night drew to a close, they found themselves reluctant to part ways.

“Just come home with me.” Lando suggested as they made their way out of the lavish hotel.

“I can’t.” Amelia whispered, not meeting his eye.

“I don’t want you going home alone and dealing with your father.” Lando explained.

“Lan, I have work in the morning.” She argued, finally glancing up at him.

“Then I will take you to work.” He countered, ever resilient in his pursuits.

“Lan.” She mumbled as he started leading her to his parked McLaren.

As Lando led her towards the sleek, powerful McLaren, a rush of emotions flooded Amelia's mind. It felt surreal, almost like a dream, to have Lando pleading with her to come home with him. The memories of their past encounters flickered through her mind like a reel of film, each moment etched in vivid detail.

Their first time together, the raw passion and intensity of their connection, still lingered in her memory. She could almost feel the heat of his touch, the electric thrill of their bodies moving as one in the backseat of his Rolls Royce.

And then there was that unforgettable night in the kitchen, when they were both overcome with desire and couldn't resist each other any longer. The sound of their breathless moans echoed in her ears as they lost themselves in each other's arms, the sensation of his lips on her skin still sending shivers down her spine.

But then, inexplicably, it had all stopped. The intimacy between them faded away, leaving behind a gaping void that Amelia struggled to fill. In the midst of her day-to-day life, she found herself consumed by thoughts of Lando, her body responding instinctively to the mere memory of his touch.

On those days when the longing became too much to bear, she sought solace in the arms of Charles, her body craving the release that only he could provide. But even in those moments of pleasure, it was Lando's name that echoed in her mind, his image filling her thoughts as she surrendered to the fantasy of what could have been.

As they reached the McLaren and Lando opened the door for her, Amelia felt a rush of anticipation course through her veins. She would allow herself to indulge in the fantasy, to lose herself in the intoxicating allure of Lando's embrace. And as they drove off into the night, she knew that for just a few precious hours, she would be able to forget about the uncertainties of tomorrow and simply revel in the ecstasy of the present moment.

[pandoa]

the color purple

you and jamil have ice cold sweets of blue and red together on the beach's shore

~jamil viper x gender neutral reader~ word count: 1.5k words

written entry for @merotwst and @cvlutos's Jamil's Summer Contest! pls do enjoy! and also check out everyone else who entered too using the tag!

“What kind of popsicle stand only has two flavors?” You said, bewildered, holding up a blue, frozen treat you had just gotten from a nearby vendor—gazing at how the sweets shined and reflected underneath the sun. It had only been moments since you’d purchased it, however, as you continued to gaze at the sugary snack, you began to notice how the popsicle had already been melting under the heat of the beachside shore. 

So much for a cool down, you sneered. What was the point in buying a cold treat if it would just melt away the second it touched the atmosphere?

“It is a bit odd considering it only features popsicles.” Beside you, your boyfriend had reached out to your form, signaling for you to hand him your trash, as he flipped his braided hair away from his shoulder, “You’d think they’d invest in more choices to satisfy different customers.” Jamil spoke, voicing his thoughts on the matter all while guiding his eyes to his own strawberry flavored popsicle—the red of his treat contrasting with the blue of your own. 

“Yeah,” you continued, licking the blue popsicle in your hand in the process, “But, hey, at least we got something. The beach was scorching hot earlier; I think we deserve at least this much.” Squinting up to the setting sky, a bead of sweat then ran down the side of your forehead at the utterance of your words. You lazily wiped it away, making sure it wouldn’t collide with your eye, as you turned your attention back towards your boyfriend who seemed to be least affected by the heat compared to you.

It’s like his body doesn’t even sweat; it just sparkles— You observed, half of you envious of the young man and the other half adoring the sight before you. It was as if Jamil had always had the upper hand against you—whether he was aware of it or not—just by simply existing in the world as his effortless radiance caused pulses of your heart to skip and turn and churn into a rose-colored oblivion. Indefinitely unfair to you, but Jamil had found a certain smugness to his expression whenever he’d catch you dreamily staring off into space or fanning away a pink color from your face at his actions.

Jamil looked back at you, also eating away at the treat resting in his hand as the red from the popsicle already made its way to tinting his lips, “True enough.” A silence much too comfortable to interrupt then played between you two as you both made your way back to the shore you’d spent your day in, dipping your feet into the water as it caressed the sides of your ankles with the sea’s consistent waves. The day at the beach had been long yet exhilarating starting with you, Jamil, Kalim, as well as the first years deciding it would be fun to take a trip to the coast on your vacation off from Night Raven. You looked back at the day spent with your friends as the sun lowered from its place in the sky along with the many shades of pink, scarlet, and orange encapsulating it in the stratosphere. You looked back at the memories you had, the moments and seconds you’d spent that day, laughing with everyone around you, as splashes of saltwater flooded your mind in bliss. You saw as the volleyball you all had played with hours ago flew miles above your heads in your memories, the castles Ace and Deuce had built before its destruction by oceanic waves seconds after, and even the birds who’d dive down to your little group, attempting to sneak a small bite from Kalim’s food—all of it, you reminisced.

Although, as you continued savoring the sweetness of your blue popsicle on the coastline of the sea, you had come to find that there’d been one final thing missing from your trip to the shore before it would end, and that was—

“Ah—Sorry,” you noticed Jamil hesitantly apologizing as you jumped up in surprise, feeling a familiar hand softly stroke the side of your cheek. To your left, Jamil had suddenly been inches closer to your form than he’d usually been, appearing as dumbfounded as you, while a whisper of the breeze whistled through your ears alike. You watched the sun continue to set while golden rays of light reflected onto the waves of the beach and into Jamil’s charcoal eyes, ridden with nerves and hidden anticipation you could not pinpoint just yet. “You just had a little…” Jamil softly spoke with his hand still lingering against your now rosy face, “sand on your cheek.”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” your words began to fumble, struggling to maintain eye contact with the man, “Thank you.”

Another period of silence cut between the two of you as you both stood frozen still in the shallow water as if both of your bodies denied the melting heat of the sun. As more time had passed, a greater tension built up between you and Jamil, one filled with curiosity, anxiousness, nervousness, and adrenaline. It caused your stomach to freeze, your breathing to stop, and your heart to halt at the uncertainties that could happen next. You and Jamil were expecting something from one another. Something magical. Something fearful. Something you’d been wishing to do for ages. Something worthwhile. 

The main question you two had for each other, however, was what?What had you wished for from him? Or what had he wished for from you?

“This is really random, but…” you finally said, peering back at the second year’s now questioning face, heart gradually picking up its pace and beginning to race further than a marathon. “Have you ever felt what it’s like to be kissed by a person yet, Jamil?” 

A droplet of your popsicle then proceeded to slowly drip down the stick keeping it in its place.

“No… I’m afraid not,” Jamil replied, his usual composure still being maintained by his calmness—however, this time, with an increasing shade of pink that could rival the sunset in his cheeks.

“Then…” you stepped closer, making you two only centimeters apart, “Would you like to? Experience it, I mean.”

“I wouldn’t be… opposed to it.”

“Okay then.” You placed a delicate hand to his face just as he had done earlier to you, whispering, “Close your eyes.” At the utterance of your words, you could almost feel the flutter of his eyelashes as they closed shut, the final image being you closer than ever as he subconsciously guided his hand to your waist, engulfing you in warmth you’d take any day rather than the burning of the sun. Your lips quickly found each other, both eager yet unsure, as you slowly led him with every movement. Passionate yet gentle, smooth yet anxious, tender yet desperate—it was as if so little yet so many emotions coursed through yours and his touch alike with each electrifying moment. With the frozen treats now long forgotten, you continued placing slow kisses on Jamil’s lips as the blue and red from your popsicles dripped into the water beneath you. He tasted like strawberries and sweetness, dreams and a plethora of ecstasies.

Lips connected like two pieces of a flustered puzzle just as you raised a hand to run it through the silk locks of your boyfriend’s hair, causing him to lean into your touch, relaxed and satisfied. Was this what it was like to have the upper hand against a partner? To discompose the ever-suave Jamil Viper? You smelled the salt of the water around you, the sweetness of the melting popsicle in your hand, and the familiar scent of home you’d always catch every time you were ever near Jamil. You felt the refreshing chill of the breeze, the waves of water against your feet, and the feeling of him hugging your waist tighter as if you’d disappear the instant he’d ever let you go. Slightly opening your eyes, you saw a line of palm trees swaying with the wind, a pair of love birds flying in circles above you, as well as the relaxed expression of the boy in front of you as you kissed him. 

All things at that instant had just felt… right. Like you were always meant to be here at this exact time, at the exact place.

Perfection as it were in a movie.

“HEY!” The voice of your cat-like friend had then intruded the scene as you and Jamil instantly pulled away from each other, with you lightly touching your lips in a daze and Jamil attempting to recompose himself. “We’re about to head back to the—Wait,” Grim, who was now a couple feet away from you, paused, examining your appearances. “Did you guys get grape popsicles? Where?!” The young creature exclaimed with woe. “I thought they only had two flavors, dammit!”

“Grape?” you asked as a laugh escaped your mouth from your friend’s obvious questions, “Grim, what do you mean? Of course we didn’t have any grape—”

Jamil, however, shot his head up first at Grim’s questions and you second upon hearing your exchange with your familiar as you checked your bodies for any absurdities, immediately suspecting one main culprit.

You looked at Jamil, intently, thinking the same thoughts, “Oh, Sevens, no—”

Purple.

The lips of both you and Jamil, rather than the separate shades of blue and red you expected, were now purple.

a/n: breaking news! writer who has not even held hands with someone romantically attempts to write a kissing scene 🕺 (pls tell me u get why their lips are purple now tho-)