#HE'S ALIVE ....... HE'S OK ...... AND LIVING W HIS FAMILY IM CRYING.....

[winxys]

CRYING

[cherryo]

Honestly I’m surprised no one has requested anything with Future Leo, smut or otherwise

But uh..if you’re ok with writing that then maybe some flirty future Leo, with smut if you’re comfortable with that

hi hi love!!! thank you so so much for requesting!! i honestly wasn't that big of a Leo fan before this,,,, but!! the more I wrote and had to look up a love for him like opened up,,,, like big tall man,,, but I digress. im so glad I could write this for you!! i really hope you like it sweetheart <33 pairing: Future!Flirty!Leonardo x fem! reader genre: angst(sorta not really lol) to smut w/ a fluff ending pronouns: fem reader (gn pronouns but mentions of female genitalia and pet names such as "pretty girl") word count: 1.7k warnings: Explicit themes, cursing, movie spoilers, a little bit of angst at the beginning? reader and Casey jr are just worried about Leo, mentions of crying, creampie (wear protection kiddos), mentions of bruises (Leos too strong for his own good <33), raw dogging this shit (wear protection, again, kiddos), leo's mean and goes for it in one thrust with no prep!! teasing, overall Leo is Leo, regardless of how old he is and he will always be a flirty bastard <333 sort of proofread, anyways I hope you like it darling!!

The kraang invasion had messed everything up, but the one thing that didn't really change was Leonardo. He was still that positive leader type (and impossibly funny), even after losing his family. He stayed that beacon of hope, for you and Casey, he might've lost everyone he loved but he gained two people he would die for. Literally, he's tried multiple times to save both of you in life-or-death situations, also meaning he got a lot of lectures. 

There you stood with Casey behind you giving Leon the biggest glare he could muster up. You were pacing back an' forth just trying to calm down while giving Leo a lecture and rambling. "I don't why you thought that was smart, Leon. Just because you're the "greatest ninja alive" "making quotation marks, rolling your eyes when Leo gasped at you making fun of his title " god, I hate that Casey calls you that, or that anyone calls you it for that matter. It always goes to your head" flicking his head at the same time "it inflates your ego and makes you think you're invincible and invulnerable and you're not. Plain and simple youre not, do you know how much you make us worry?" At this point, you became more serious in your lecture. 

Leo sat up straighter, you only got serious when you were hurting. It was clear his acts of "kindness" were doing more harm than good, he didn't want that, he just didn't know how else to show that he cared for you both. To be honest, he was scared of having to take care of Casey by himself, so when you came along it was almost like a perfect little family. 

Casey, realizing how serious this conversation had turned, slowly made his way of the train car and into a different one. He wanted to give his parental figures their space, hoping that that was okay with them. 

"And I understand you don't want to lose us or you're simply trying to save us, but why put yourself in that situation when we have it handled? Why jump in front of a train when no ones there? " you were crying now, not loudly just tears streaming down your face. Leo stood up, covering you in a shadow, he grabbed you up into a hug. 

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be risking my life, especially in the time we live in now. I just, I can't lose more of my family" he was petting your hair, the other arm wrapped around your shoulder. Your silent tears started getting louder, letting everything you've been holding in, out. 

his petting slowly helped you to calm down, realizing all you needed was him to acknowledge his stupid hero complex. "I swear I'll try to let you guys fight your own battles but, if you need help, okay?" 

Letting out a feeble 'mhm' letting yourself melt Into his arms. His deep chuckle startled you, forgetting where you were during your little meltdown, realizing that you had snuggled deeper in his arms. "Wow, if I knew getting lectured gets me into this predicament, I would misbehave more often" he squeezed his arm that was around you tighter and lifted your face so you both were looking at each other. 

Your face grew red, not just from the crying but now from Leos flirts. even in serious and emotional situations, he was a flirt, most times it made the air lighter. This time though, it made the air tighter, just not with seriousness. 

You held his gaze, it had a glint of mischievousness and something you couldn't quite pinpoint. Breaking away from the strong gaze, not able to move your head out of his gasp. You decided the wall beside his head was more interesting than the growing smirk on the handsome turtle's face. Your hands grabbed his wrists, your hand doesn't even for around his right one. 

Releasing his grip from your face only for his hands to make their way down to your hips, squeezing to let you know they're staying there. Your face got even redder, if that was possible, just from him grabbing your hips. "Aww, are you feeling okay baby?" He cooed at you, a teasing tone highly noticeable in his 'concern.' You just looked away and pouted, simply ignoring his teasing. 

He pulled you closer to him by the hips, making you gasp and place your hands on his plastron. one of his hands started rubbing up and down your side, obviously deciding to stay quiet just spurred him on to get a noise out of you. Good thing you're stubborn, still staying quiet you held his gaze, eyes locked once again. "You're so hot when you're stubborn, you know that? There's nothing I wouldn't do to get you to unravel a bit" he leaned down to whisper that last part in your ear, he lingered in that spot for a minute. 

"Why don't you do it?" You rubbed your hands over his plastron, hearing him let out little whimpers here and there. "Excuse me?" At this point he had returned to his full height, hands still roaming your body, "I said, why don't you make me unravel?" You didn't have to say it a third time before you're brought in for a kiss. 

He kissed you hard and passionately, trying to put everything he can't say into it. He looped his hands around your lower back to drag you closer, wanting you as close as he could get you at this moment. He brought one hand up to your cheek to direct your face and deepen the kiss. Being tall meant he towered over you, so he leaned down quite a bit to kiss you, but he didn't care he'd do anything to know what you tasted like. 

His grip tightens on your back, basically scratching and clawing at you showing his desperation to get you. You tilted your head to deepen the kiss, moaning into it just from how hot it was, the noise made him whimper. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer for a change. 

He spun you around and laid you on his bed, crawling over you so he could be face-to-face with you again. "Is this okay?" He rested his left hand on your hip, the other holding him up. "Of course it is," you pulled him down into another kiss to give him more reassurance. 

He started gripping your hips harder, hard enough to leave a bruise of his fingertips. Making a groaning noise into your mouth, he pulled back and flipped you over onto your stomach. Pulling you hips so your ass was up in the air, the sight of you in this position makes him moan. Him pulling your pants and undies down in one swift movement had you gasping at the rush of cold air and the stare that Leo was looking at you with. 

He went back to crawling over you, covering your whole body. He had his plastron right up against your back, making sure you could feel him right there. He reached back to make sure he was aligned before thrusting all the way in, making you cry out in the pain and the sudden stretch. He moaned at the tight feeling of your slick cunt, his hips shaking at the pleasure trying to stay still. He cooed at you, petting your head and going back to rub your hips for comfort. 

Giving you enough time to adjust to his size, you slowly moved your hips back towards his. Taking the hint, he pulled just so the tip was in and thrust back in again, slowly thrusting to get a nice rhythmic pace. Keeping the slow pace was almost torturous for you, wanting for him to just let go and go as hard as he wanted. 

"Mm harder" you moaned out, he slowed his pace making a 'hm' noise to make you repeat yourself. "Harder please! Please Leon,,,, I wan-nt nhhg,,,you to fuck me as hard as you can!" moaning out the words, you could practically feel his smirk growing as you struggled. 

"How could I resist such a request, pretty girl? Especially since you said please" he whispered into your ear, thrusting harder as soon as he was finished talking. His brutal pace was making you moan like a whore, having a hard time even speaking. 

He pulled you up so you two were chest to back, he reached down and started making circles on your nub. You were crying at this point, the pleasure was too much for you. "Awww, is this too much for you, baby? You can't even handle what you asked for huh?" Even through his teasing you could hear him straining to keep his moans and whimpers at bay. 

" 'm close,," you whimpered out, you could feel his breath on your neck, hearing that you were close made him go even harder. Before you could even warn him, you came, your legs started trembling. Your cunt tightening around his cock was what pushed him over the edge, moaning and grunting right into your ear. Feeling him fill you up made your orgasm over-stimulated, making you even more sensitive. 

He fucked you through his orgasm, making you cry out and moan, the feeling sending you into a hazy state. He held you up, you basically went limp in his arms, your orgasm making you have numb legs. Gently pulling out and laying you down, Leo went off to grab a towel and some water. 

He came back to find you in the same position he left you, letting out a low whistle, he came over to look over you. "That good huh?" You could practically feel his ego rising, the smirk on his face ever so present. 

"The best I've ever had, that's for sure" you made eye contact with him as he laid beside you, the smirk replaced by a soft and loving smile. His fingers tracing your thighs up to your stomach and down back again, he pulled you to where you were resting in the crease of his body. 

"I love you"

"I love you too"

[dremiru]

alright i was planning to put out a big celebratory nublar six fanart for chaos theory day but since its 10 and I'm only done with darius I'm putting a pin in that and instead posting the notes i took at the time while watching the show!!

BIG JURASSIC WORLD CHAOS THEORY SPOILERS AHEAD

I'm going to come out with more sane-sounding analyses and all when i calm down so stick around for that -> for this i was just writing down whatever was in my head while watching but it's still fun!! (italicized the best fragments)

episode 1: - oh my fucking god bens a redditor. my sweet boy what have u done to him - darius calling brooklynn just to hear her voice made me tear up :(( - oh my GOD i missed benrius so so much

episode 2: - HE TURNED HIS VAN INTO A HUGE DORK POUCH AWWW LOVE THIS LITTLE (BIG) GUY - "guess we could've looked that up but… well…" BEN. - WHAT THE FUCK WHATTHEFUCK BEN AND BROOKLYNN WHY ARE U DOING THIS TO ME - SHES SO CUTE…… - im crying,,,, - brookes an investigative journalist awww that fits her so well - them bonding over dark jurrassic i CANNOT - ben being obsessive and dealing with constant anxiety ahhh - darius just called ben 'benjamin' i am in shambles - ohhhwwhbgb theyre fighting over trust and brooklynn and ughghhh my babies - awww bonding over candy i MISSED THEM SO MUCH

episode 3: - SAMMY LIVING ON HER FARM AHH - she doesnt talk to her parents anymore??? girl we all KNOW you care, you loved them SO MUCH?? she sacrificed so much for them what the hell happened - BUMPER CARRRRR SHES HEERREEEEEE - AWWW HER AND BENS REUNION!!!!!!! - ben defending bumpy. also i dont like carlos - SAMMY GIRLIE I LOVE U SO MUCH PLEASE GO SEE A THERAPIST. AVOIDING UR PROBLEMS BY KEEPING URSELF BUSY ISN'T HEALTHY. PLEASE - WHATTHEFUCK WHATTHEFUCK HER SEEING BROOKE I AM IN SHAMBLES - SAMMY GUTTIEREZ. STOP. - THE TEARS IN HER EYES - OH MY GOD IM SOBBING WHAT THE FUCK - "And what, Darius? Stop and think about Brooklynn dying, or my family not speaking to me, or Yaz pulling away from me? No. I… I can't stop. I won't." JESUS FUCGIN CHRSIT WHY - ^ im gonna have to post a whole analysis on this scene because wgat the fuck man - seeing them back in their 'hiding from the dinos' selves fbiudsjkbgfskd - Sammy with Brookes jacket awhghh - ^ also i STILL believe Brooklynns alive I DONT CARE WGAT ANYBODY SAYS PKAEASE - ^^ HHDFUSIGIF - alr this is the 2nd scene involving cars and jumping i have to start counting - ok ths is building up GOOD

episode 4: - ben being emo and sighing so somebody would notice him BROO - THEYRE SO CUTE?? benrius married for the double income shenanigans - YEAH BUMPYS A BOSS SHELL BE FINE - BGFDHUJKH THEYRE ADORABLE - i didn't know i needed benrius conspiring together until we got it - BEN HAS A GIRLFRIEND. !!!! - DARIUSES FLASHBACK SJIT?? - these children. (theyre older than me now i think) - oh my fucking god theyre all so traumatised - DARIUS AND KENJI ARENT ON SPEAKING TERMS. THE HELL. - KENJIIIII HEIII!!! - HES IGNORING HIM. WHAT THE FUVKING HWELL - hes an eat-love-climb kinda guyy - WHYRE THEY FIGHTINGG - oh hes BLAMING DARIUS for brooklynn? KENJI KON WHAT THE FUCK - she went to see daniel?????? why. - SAM CALLING YASMINA ALL THE TIME I - KENJ AND DARIUS WITH TRUST - sammy ranting about yaz doing things she doesn't like i- PLEASE communicate. i beg u creator gods make them actually TALK to each other - "I think we should split up." "gasp you and yaz?!" "what?! noo! us! the three of us!!! …why, did she say somethin'?" OH MY GODSHBKJG HOW BAD IS THEIR SITUATION IM SCARED - sammy just tickled the keys off him - THEY LEFT DARIUS TO DEAL WITH IT. - okay them having the emotional conversation ON THE CLIFFSIDE. ok. - KENJI BROKE UP W HER?? alright were getting dinostar then right - ^ christ man i am too good at guessing these things - DARIUS NOT KNOWING HOW CLIMBING ROPES WORK LMAO - okay B&Kenji were cute im gonna miss them - but Brooklynn ignoring him,,, JUSTIFIES IT. I GET IT KENJ OK - POOR KENJI??? WTF??????????? - OH GODFFDHGFBV AND BEFORE HER DEATH TOO WHY - OKAY i get that i should pay more attention to the dinostar crumbs and all but all i feel rn is sympathy for kenji. hes been done wrong ENTIRELY in this scenario and just. man. - HTEY GOT BUMPY

episode 5: - aiaiai darius babY PLEASE - make them COMMUNICATE. PKEAFEEE - kenji calls ds mom more than he does whagthehellman - SAMS STILL CALLING YAZ AGHHH - OK THE TEARS IN HER EYES STOP IT - her and 'benjamin' bickering AHH - SHES SOOOO GIRLBOSS I LOVE LVOE HER - WTF THAT GUYS AN ASSHOLE?? - aaand THEYRE FREEING THE DINOS! - FHUCkin daniel kon - AHH THEYRE SO CUTESY - BEN SUSPECTING SAMMY. AND JUST SAMMY. WHAT THE FUCK - 'but i promise, I do trust you. now.' OOOHHHH MY SWEET SWEET DUDEEE. FUCK U - i get WHY i GUESSS, with his paranoia and all but thats an ASSHOLE move - daniel and kenji ermmbnbgvjsdk - HES TRYING TO MANIPULATE HIM AGAAAINN DUDE ITS GETTING BORING - w6AT. TF. KENJI - ooh the good ol dino chase!! - SAMMY BEING A GOOD FIGHTER AWHGHH - WFAH THAT SCARED ME - ok they made up!! - I KNEW THIS GUY WAS AWFUL - OKAYYYYY KENJ YESSS TALK ABOUT IT!!! FINALLYYYY COMMUNICATIONNNN - YESWSS AHDJFSN THEYRE TALKING - I LOVE THIS SO MUCH TEARS FLOWING DOWN MY CHEEKS AHFGDS - I HATE THIS FUCKING GUY AIGERG SDFJ - YES KENJI GO OFF BITCH!!!!!! - brooke… whatttth, - TF WAS SHE DOING - OH MY FUCKING GOD THE SCREAM I SCREAMT WHEN I SAW THIS DINOSAUR CONTROLLING PERSON NIGHTMARE FUCKING FUEL - WHAT THE FGUCK WHYS SHE SO UNCANNY VALLEY I LITTERALLY JUMPED AND MOVED AWAY IMMEDIATELY - oh he doesnt die :( - still WHO IS THAT?? - oh he does die :) - fr tho - KENJI POOR BABY IM SO SORRY. as if he didnt go through enough already.. - WHY TEHGFHBVCKJS OH WHO ARE U U EERIE FUCKIN - is kenj having a panic attack!!!! - BCFHSDKJFBJKDBFKJVX THEYRE SO CUFKING SCARY WHY ARE THEIR MOVEMENTS SO MECHANICAL - KENJI SAYING お父さん NOW I AM DDYING. I WILL NOT RECOVER.

episode 6: - SHITTTT YAZ'S HEREEE - ohhhh fuck shes dealing with A LOT - DARLING U OK??? - THE FLASHBACKS ARE TERRIFYING - shes so pretty!!!! - BROOKLYNN BITCH WHTWS FD - THEYRE SOOOOO CUTEEEEE - I LOVE HOW YAZS MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES HAVE BEEN AND STILL ARE PORTRAYED - I'm SO glad to see her dealing with everything and slowly getting over some of her trauma - ooh ok YAZ AND SAMMY - THEYRE SO HSGDIUF - okay so the solution to the problem is. TALK. its just. TALK TO EACH OTHER. - AWHH OK SHES NOT READY I SUPPOSEE - SHIT sam bb i get protecting the ones u love. but u shouldnt hide things from ur gf just so she doesnt feel bad. especially things so huge. - AND YAZ. babygirl. you shouldn't avoid your gf if shes doing something ure uncomfortable with. you shouldn't ignore her and make her feel bad abt it. YASAMY. THIS IS AN INTERVENSION. TALK TO EACH OTHER. ACTUALLY. PLEASE - ^ this is me showing how much im loving this storyline. VERY annoyed. love angst in fav ships. GOTTA HAVE SOME SPICE ONCE IN A WHILE I GET IT - ^^ but if they break up im killing myself - sammY PLEASEEFH DONT ASSUME JUST TALK. PTSD/MENTAL HEALTH IN GENERAL ISNT THAT SIMPLE - theyre both doing wrong things AND I JUST AGHHH -ALTHOUGHH when they finally DO communicate itll be SOO satysfying - EEEE HERE THEY AREEEEEEE - awkward. a little. BUT SWEET - OK NO I CHANGED MY MIND THEYRE SOOOO CUTEEEE - and ben and yazs friendship AGHGHHHG - therapy island. awh okayy!! - YAZS SO PASSIONATE I LOVE IT - 'ohohohhh… let me show u!… benny boy' - this is GOOD. it IS impressive!! - SAMMY STOP IT - YES YASMINA TALK ABOUT IT - I AM LOVING THIS OH MY GOD - JESUS CHRIST BEN - NAH WHAT THE FUCK - WHY. BENJAMIN. - yasammyyyyyy i love u to hell and back WHY R U LIKE THIS - ben&yaz bonding!!!! - YEAHHH SHES HAPPY FOR UUUU - THE BESTIESSSS - OH MY GOD THE FUCKING DINOSAURS ALWAYS RUIN EVERYTHING - ohhh this isnt good!!! - OHHKAY THE GUYS DEAD WHAT THE FUCK - jumping car scene count: 3 - 'big bens got moves' SHE SAID THE LINE - i feel like DPW is gonna play a bigger role in this - ^AND IM RIGHT. - WGAT THE FUCNK

episode 7: - OHKAY WHATS GOING ON - theyre up buttt….. what the hell r they gonna do. they either drown or get eaten by a dino. - YASAMMMYYYYY I MISSED U SO MUCH - AND THEYRE SPEAKING AND SHJOWING AND HFUDSI - okay KENJIS HABING A PANIC ATTACK I AM - quick break to say the mental health representation and how its done in this show is one of the best examples on how to portray mentally unwell characters I've seen lately - WTF DOES THIS GUY HAVE TO DO WITH THIS - bens soggy van is what ure complaining about rn guttierez??? - OK THE SCENE OF BS DEATH I CANT IM SOBBING - them both reaching for the phone ok. - THEYRE ALIVE, - YASAMMYS BACK OFFICIALLY PEOPLE I AM SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP - ben respectfully i love u but that van wouldve died of old age in a matter of a week - SHE HAD A PLACE - he finally got to throw them phones away - I AM SCREAMING OVER THESE YASAMMY MOMENTS IM AHGFSFJSV - 'oh i am so gonna hunt them from beyond the grave' yasmina fadoula will u marry me - oh right they dont have their phones so theyre not gonna be able to find each other - ok so if im picking up what theyre putting down correctly brooklynn was investigating illegall DPW dinosaur dropoffs?? - cant tell if kenjis coming to terms with it or being jealous - WHAT THE FUCK OK SHE EITHER GOT REALLY INTO THAT INVESTIGATING OR SHES ACTUALLY WENT CRAZY - ok this kenji sequence questioning scene was amazing

episode 8: - wgat the aHELL wr they doin - ok darius and kenji awkwardly connecting. good - ^and darius being protective around kenj over brooklynns phone since he left so many voicemails that he doesnt want him to hear? jesus christ man - OKAY my favourite little trio in a truck with a dinosaur chat do we think theyll survive this - tbh the amount of times in these kids lives where the probablity of survival was scary low is. er. sad - ^ not only for them cause of trauma and stuff but for the random bg characters - dude dies after seeing a dino ONCE but six random kids? yeah theyll survive DOZENS without help - quickly ill just say we need a name for the lesbians and their emotional support muscle wall. their dynamic is superb - the kenji and brooklynn video I LOVE THEM - BABYTALK - . POOKIE BEAR. KENJI WENJI. - shit fuckballs they're fighting again - darius. just. talk? - YES THIS IS GOOD TOO THIS IS GOOD - that CAN be a coping mechanism i GUESSS - what. who r u - DPW BOSS? - YEAH I THOUGHT THEYD FALL FOR THAT AGAIN THANK GOD - YOU WERE IN WHAT WITH WHO NOW - ^WHAT THHFSDN - ^^I WAS EXPECTING THIS HIGHKEY BUT STILL - ^^^ its good that he told kenji about this - ^^^^ and its GREAT that kenji's understanding - is this THE video??? - SHE IS WHAT NOW - maybe this is how they get to take these dinos away?? by pretending the dinos are dead in the face of the law?? - 'ooh heyyy!. boo.' I LOVE U GUYS - it IS the video. - OK BUT A LITTLE BIT LONGER - if i was in dariuses place i would NEVER recover - KENJI RESPECTFULLY DON;T - ^DONT BLAME HIM???? - please dont let this be the scary lady - YEAH KENJ ATLEAST URE RESPECTFUL - whats going on with bumpy. - YASAMMMY I WANNA INJECT U INTO MY VEINS - SHESAIDTHELINESHESAIDTHELINE - ^ 'wanna make a little chaos?' WHAT IF I DIE. WHAT IF I DIE YASMINA. WHAT THEN. - 'maybe. maybe not!!!!' BABIES?? - r the dinos drugged or controlled with the same method the inhumane ladys using - ^or are they tranqued out of their minds. idk. - OH SHIT? THEY SHOULDNT KILL AT THE WATERING HOLE guess it isnt really that is it - BENJAMIN NO

episode 9: - now SAMMYS anxiety's spiking - ok bens gonna not die hopefully?? - i love them stalking. the little creepers. hehe - BUMPER CARRR WHATS GOING ON - ^ is she drugged or smth :((( - ^^^maybe shes pregnant?? but idk idk i dont think so - ^^^^ fucking forshadowing - ^^^^^ i sincerely hope its more positive than im thinking - COMMUNICATION!!!!!!!! YESSSS!!! - theyre the cutest!!!! Yasammy charades level teamwork!!!!! - ok i love both the teams - kenji and darius sticking up for each other despite everything. DO THEY WANNA MAKE ME SUFFER - the kon puns im crying - KENJI HELPING DARIUS CLIMB IM SCREAMING - ok quick intermission i LOVE yazs design shes so cute - hndsgjkb JUST FIND EACH OTHER ALREADY - BENJAMIN CMON U GOTTA SAVE HER - 'Are you dying?' WHATRF ESDGUHKUFDGKJBFDXBFVGBUFIDCFGVBKJSDXBC K EFAHBUISDAGEBDBWAUISDFK - ^ NO - ^^ NO - ^^^ NOOOOOOO - WHATTTTTFDSDGJBMGDF - SHE CANT BE - ILL SOB MY EYES OUT I SWEAR TO GOD - BEN HIDING AND CRYING I - I FEEL U IM DOING THE SAME EXACT THING RN - OKAY THEY KNOW NOW - yaz&sammy&kenji&darius reunion1!!!!1! - ^ AND WHERES BEN - BUMPY. U STRONG STRONG WOMAN. I WANT U TO KNOW THAT IF U DIE. I WILL TOO. - IM GONNA KILL MYSLEF/.

(this i fear is where i realise that im going insane)

- CREEPY MICRO BANGS IS AN AMAZING NAME FOR UNCANNY VALLEY WOMAN YEAH - yeah atp i think weve all figured out its an illegal dino selling business - wGAT - yeah WTF WAS SHE DOING - 'no talk. come quick. bumpys dying.' IM FUCKING DYING TOO!!!!!!!! FUCK THIS SHIT OH MY GOD - BUMPER CAR DO NOT. PLEASE. DONT. - WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I WAS RIGHT - ^ WTF WTF I - thats an egg. - DONT THINK ABOUT IT BUD.

episode 10: - these kids r so traumatised they do not need this - IS SHE RLY DEAD…. - ok so its two separate factors i think?? DPW on one side, creepy micro bangs on the other. right? - ^ this is delving DEEP into the mystery factor… - BEN WTF!!!!! DONT JUST??? DO THAT???????? - OMFG SHES HERE - ^ I HATE HER IHATEHERIHATEHER - SHES WHY THE DINOS R ACTING WEIRD - WHY IS SHE SO FUCKING UNCANNY I CANNOT - ^ SHES LIKEA CARNIVORE DINOSAUR IF IT WAS A HUMAN - ok so SHES the real boss. the unresponsive. wide eyed. controlling dinosaurs. microbangs. woman. - SWHE KILLED BROOKLYNN. - ^ WHAT THE FUCK. - im ngl i DID kinda dig her vibe but AFTER HEARING THIS I JUST CAngfijbdsuif FUCK U - who THE HELL - GET UR FREAKY ASS BOB AWAY - BRUH PUT THAT FUCKING WHISTLE DOWN - IM GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES OVER THIS LADY - WHAT THE - theyre way too lucky who the hell is driving that truck - i feel like atleast ONE of them shoulda got injured in that fall - OH MATEO!!!! HI BB - OOP CREEPY BANGS DEAD YIPPEE - AND THEYRE ALL GOING BAZONKAS?? BC SHES UNRESPONSIVE I PRESUME? - ALWAYS THE MFING RAPTORS - okay theyre definitely coca in the loca - WGAT TJR FJCUK EPIC EXPLOSION TYRANNOSAURUS REX - ^ R U SLASH J OR SRS RN - JESUS I LOVE THESE KIDs - where's yaz. - SAMMY!!! - 'Hey, Stripey! Leave. My girl. Alone!' YTHIS IS WHY I HATE THIS FUCKING SHOW /affectionate - AND THE ALMOST KISS HALF HUG IM KMS - WHY R THEY LIKE THIS - HES LETTING THE ALLOSAURUS OUT???? HUHHHHHHH - DARIUS BOWMAN. - IS HE - IS HE FUCKING - SERIOUS RN - jesus christ this BOY. this BOY man. - DIE - DDDDIIIIIEEEEEE - what tf!!!! the broker??? - we still dont know the creepy bangs name…. - so we're getting a 2nd season right - AWW YASAMMY SHOT - HWRFIUSDHGSFDKHAWVBSDXCZKJLGDHSFKLJGBJKESRDFJ - WHYSDHIFUJDIGVBDFS - WHEN I TELL U I JUMPED I MEAN I JJJUUUUMMMMPPPEEEEDDDD - THIS EERIE ASS BITCH KEEPS ON SHOWING UP WHEN I DONT EXPECT IT - DONT GET ME WRONG - PEAK CHARACTER DESIGN - AND THE LOOK ITSELF IS RLY CUTE AND ALL - BUT IF I SAW A BITCH THAT LOOKED AND BEHAVED LIKE THIS I WOULDVE SCREAMED MY INTESTINES OUT AND RAN ALL THE WAY TO AUSTRALIA - THE CREEPIEST CHARACTER IVE SEEN IN YEARS IM AFRAID - oh she still cares about her dinos!!! this makes her a little more human - a little less scary - ok - her movements r less mechanical more affectionate now - less hvfudignb BIGBFI SHE JUST TURNED - thank GOD shes gone - theyre me - 'well that was… unnerving' WELL SAID - YASAMMY HUG!! - YEAHHHH THE LOOK!! - the regular schmegular 'let's save the day' speech. we gotchu darius!! - GASPPP - ok so UNREQUITED dinostar - OH MY GHRHSIUDF THATS SO FUCKING SAD - DARIUS MY BABY I - YEAH!! SHOW UP!!!!! - ofc they are????? - it IS a very brooklynn thing to fo - you kon count him in too!!! - LMAO MATEO I LOVE YOU - YUP YUP BUMPER CAR NEEDS CARE AND SAFETY - IS THIS THE END??? - please give me atleast one more cryptic scene - OH SHES IN ON IT TOO?/BG - bgiudsfgtbfseruifdgkdfx - I FUCKING TOLDF U - I TOLD U ALL - I SAID IT FIRST - HGIUDFSOI;GT;ERASFOICXLBVNIPGRSD - SHE LOST AN ATM - SHES ALIVE - THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN FUCKING TALKINHG ABOUT - TOLD U SHE COULDNT BE DEAD I MEAN. ITS BROOKLYNN.

(ok all in all. this was. an experience. gonna leave it at that and go take a nap)

[cantalooprat]

Dinghai Fusheng Lu

What I Liked

the plot the character dynamics the romance the Pining and Yearning and Pain,,,,,, i thought i was gna get some fun kooky adventure abt saving the world not an Epic Adventure infused with Extensive Slow Burn and a generous helping of Angst

goddamn the nonconfession quotes this wn in general is so quotable and the tl is so beautiful to read

in general xiang shu/chen xing as a cp is so... sigh their dynamics, the way they banter and argue and get to know each other and eventually fall in love, ughhh the secret that chen xing kept abt his lifespan, how he was holding back from falling in love bc he couldn't just leave xiang shu behind, how xiang shu so desperately tried to keep chen xing alive, the i love you that's said in between the lines but never aloud, the moonshell bracelets... THE SLEDDING............ im so sad i love them shuxing invented love

the fact that this wn is literally one of those isekai style regression plot that goes "when chen xing woke up, he found himself 3 years before his death, on the journey to save the world... can he gather his companions and save all those he cared about? can he finally be lovey dovey with his martial god protector??" except it spends 2/3 of the story injecting the readers with Pain of the first cycle before the second cycle comes...

somewhere around the first half i was like, so this is what romantic joongdok is like huh. bc they rly gave that sort of vibe. the mc who puts the world above himself, who keeps running around? disappearing? and whenever he disappears it puts the ml in a frenzy lmao. and the ml, taciturn and tsundere but cares abt the mc beyond what words can describe. chen xing will light up the whole world with the heart lamp but chen xing himself is the light of xiang shu's world /crying

oh man the chars... tuoba yan my sweet eternal 2ml... xiao shan, shuxing's adopted son... xie an who i was rly sus abt but he lowkey became one of the best n most reliable team member, we stan an actual functioning adult... feng qianjun who rly impressed me when he chose gu qing over princess qinghe... everyone is so good!! characterized so well!!

i like that the main story basically ended w the implication that shuxing r undergoing their three-month long honeymoon in the middle of the wilderness which they will spend to bone for every. single. day.

What I Disliked

ok i do love happy endings but even i have to admit the regression was quite an asspull lmao

Quotes

"...It's truly a pity that thousands of years later, the seas have become mulberry fields, and though the land has not changed, the people have long since disappeared." (has big "osmanthus wine tastes the same as i remember but where are those who share the memories" vibes 💀 this is a sad quote but i cant help it...)

"...stay with me, and let's finish this journey, and I'll forever remember... in this world, there is someone who cares so much about me he would call in all of his friends and scatter away all of his family fortune... just so I can keep on living, and stay by my side." "I will also remember, that in this world, there was once someone... who was willing to burn up all of his mortal and immortal souls just to become a blazing lamp that shines gloriously upon this world." (ch 86)

"Let's go. Don't care about it anymore. Tomorrow, no matter what happens to the Central Plains, don't care about it anymore. Nod, and I'll take you away. Do you want to go?"

"The wind will still, and the snow will melt... Where you are is my place of solace." (ch 120)

Notes

have not had a quotes section in a long long while but i can't help it, some lines r just /chef's kiss

i should've screenshotted the quotes for easier archiving...

also keeping title as dinghai fusheng lu vs record bc tianbao is also lu n i like keeping things consistent lmao

[gayfilmbro]

so i need to know your opinions after watching the passenger and on the count of three back to back

hii im SO glad u asked. spoilers for both films below

ok icl im a bit drunk rn but fuck it bc okay so i watched the passenger and it did remind me a LOT of on the count of three (which is why i then rewatched otcot after). there are a lot of differences obviously like the double suicide plot in on the count of three that doesnt appear in the passenger. i also feel like the passenger tried to incorporate more horror elements (understandable bc its a blumhouse production) but tbh they are extremely similar.

theyre both films abt guys who have known each other for a long time (long enough to say hi to when entering work at least in the case of passenger) + go on a "roadtrip" thatll certainly end in death for one of them. unlike a roadtrip movie these 2 films are v grounded in their suburban settings, both just visiting places theyve been before to tie a neat bow on their lives/live for one more day. on the count of three has the two visiting places bc they want to (or kevin wanted to at the start at least) whereas passenger has benson forcing randy to fix his life essentially so that he doesnt end up like him. this is interesting bc despite the seemingly v different dynamics, passenger is still p similar to otcot because kevin does encourage val to visit his dad/girlfriend and keeps asking if he REALLY wants to die or if he just needs help, so kevin doesnt end up (dead) like him. whats different is that benson saw that randy needed help and decided to BE that help in passenger.

theres also a lot of similarities between randy and val- right from the start theyre both working dead end jobs, unsure what they wanna do w their lives, and their bosses call them in to tell them that they're up for a promotion to manager. that and the repressed childhood trauma (val's being abuse from his father + randy's being half-blinding his teacher) makes them v similar characters. where val goes on a journey from suicidal to wanting to live despite it all naturally (w help from external factors mind, such as his gf + her being pregnant) randy is forced to improve his life. and randy does get "fixed" by benson, we see at the end that he's finally learned to stand up for himself, and that ending is satisfying but otcot's ending is a lot more real i guess. we see val and his family (along w other, mostly black families) in jail for father's day. compared to at the start of the film, to an outsider it might seem that his life got a lot worse, but HE'S HAPPY. and that shot of them in jail as the camera zooms out and we see more families makes me cry every time man. god.

val's character is a lot more fleshed out than randy i reckon, especially from a family perspective. we see his dad and his girlfriend and we see how he interacts with them and how he pushed them away (the dad w good reason). the most we get abt randy's home life is the phonecall w his mum, which then continues to be another reason benson needs to "fix" him so that he can stand up for himself, but isnt rlly delved into otherwise. and that his mum held him back a grade due to The Incident.

idk man the way the two films end as well gets me because one of them dies. in otcot kevin killing himself seems inevitable. straight from the start we know he's wanted to die, that there isnt anything else he can do, and throughout the day we've seen him get worse and worse via seeing his old highschool bully, dr brenner, etc. he also kills himself bc he doesnt have anything to live for. unlike val who has his girlfriend and kid (and his mom is also mentioned as being alive) kevin really does have no one, apart from val. he says at the start that he wanted to die bc hes tried everything and there's nothing left to try and "fix" him with. still, when kevin kills himself it fucking hurts. this is mostly down to the brilliant acting from abbot and carmichael i mean...the way val doesnt grasp what kevin's going to do until its too late, the remorse kevin has that val is going to witness his suicide but also the acceptance that he has to do it, or rather that he wants to do it. god. i cry every time at that bit. and then the cops come after his best friend has just killed himself next to him. shit, dude. shit. even in the last sequence in the jail, the white jail wardens are patrolling the room, an unsettling presence.

benson's death, and actually the whole sequence after benson accidentally shot randy, is stunning. its visually incredible and honestly the acting is just. OUGH. god. the way u can see the police lights reflecting on their faces. and then "i was never in charge, randy" comes and benson pulls out the gun, knowing that theyre gonna shoot before he even gets the chance. at least he gets to be in charge of how he dies.

not to say that the passenger didnt hit bc it did and i rlly enjoyed it, but the films were so similar that i could predict moments from the passenger bc id seen otcot. the passenger seemed to mirror otcot but, imo anyway, it was less structured? but it also had some better dialogue and the acting was great and i LOVED the scenary they used i ate that shit upp. but yeah it didnt have the same build-up as otcot did imo. also we cant forget that otcot was jerrod carmichael's directorial debut and for a debut that film was honestly fantastic.

thanks for asking i hope that this is comprehensible lol. i'll probably add more bc im thinking abt these 2 films a lot now

[thusspakejasminefofazmine]

Hey, Something has been wrong with my heart.

Maybe POTS? IDk, I was in the ER a week ago wrapped up like a sand person double N5 masked with cloth over it and a face sheild and swim goggles and more goggles on top with hair covered because

Partial vaccinated because my friend got if and was dead in hours of an anuerism and I have an anxiety/mental health dissorder. 😭😖

Im so ashamed! Please God forgive me🙏🏻

I deeply regret not getting it sooner. I understood the science and saw the math playing out. I’d been entirely isolated, never going out/having everything delivered and wiping down everything with med grade sterilizing wipes while taking care of my 2 year old alone even fully isolated from my wonderful husband who works at a busy dallas airport,

passing him food through a cracked window while masked. This has been going on over a year!

Finaly my reasoning overwhelms my sense of fear and I make an apt for vaccine.

Then, Two night befor vaccine apt something happens I cant explain. Waking up with uncontralable shivers all over. Idk what is happining? I dont have blood sugar problems but think maybe low? Drink juice feet in hot water. No fever. It goes away.

Next day it happens again. Wtf is going on. Gettjng worried.

Take a covid home test to be certain- negative. I havnt had exposure. But I’m paranoid.

It happens again- I wrap up with masks and everything I can and call an ambulance when my resting pulse is over 140 and I’m dizzy with pains

Mckinney Ambulance driver: you know Covid isnt real right? Me 😲. They say: your stable going is optional and you’ll wait!

I stay home.

Wednesday comes I get my shot 🙏🏻 and the asshole pharmacist at the walgreens at 1651 w university drive mckinney tx wouldnt put on a mask even after I asked. Its store policy! He never wears a mask and keeps his job and nobody says anything while he’s handling medications.

Whatever is happening to me is coming and going all the time now. Idk what it is. Its happening while I sleep. Pulse is crazy during during the day 160 pounding just walking between rooms

Now I cant take care of my toddler. Husband has to help me go to bathroom. He cant work.

Having chest pains! I put on all the masks and crap and grab my sanitizer and go to the ER they send me home with chest pains and said see a catdiologist asap. Ekg clear. While I’m there the Nurses and doctors Refuse to keep appropriate distance. Leave my room door open while pwople are outside sick I hooe 2 N95 and cloth on top will be enough

😓😭 wtf. They say if chest pains come back we’ll see you again.

Next day ER is at full capacity. feel like I’m dying racing heart chest pain. Another Self covid test is negative. I wrap up again and go to a care now people everywhere no masks looking at me like I’m crazy all wrapped up trying to keep safe. Ekg clear. Idk what to do. They give me antibiotics for maybe a uti?

Its friday Cardiologist cant se me till monday afternoon - every day and night i think i’m going to die. Pulse is insane. I sit and try to keep pulse down for the weekend. Its bad I’m vonstantly inches from ER

Monday finaly comes, I wrap up again like a person who wants to, you know not get covid! Cardiologist says clear ekg, whatever take a betablocker to help your anxiety. Me: this isnt anxiety! Doc 🙄 SUUUURE , look at how your wrapped up! Its just anxiety! HEART DOC IS NOT WEARING A MASK. People in waiting not required to mask.

At this poknt in tx All ICU’s and ER’s and childrens hospitals for 90 miles in any direction are overwhelmed. Clearly I’m in a twighlight zone episode.

I go home feeling hopeless. Still feel like I’m dying. I want to consult another doc befor taking this medicine they wont explain or talk to me about. Another horrible night. I talk to another doc- via telemed. Thank god no suiting up.

She says meds sounds appropriate even if no mask jerk doc wouldnt explain it to me.

I take it.

It gives some almost immediate releif to chest pain racing heart while I’m resting But its short lived. My condition is deteriorating. No appetite, nausea, diarrhea, still no positive covid.

I want answers. What the hell is happening to my heart?

I’m calling the cardiologist every day. They throw me a 24hour holter moniter to get me off their backs. But they Dont explain how I’m supposed to use it. I do it wrong! Oops our bad. 24 hours wasted. Lets do an echocardiagram that we should have done first -but we only do them on friday.😭

But lets up the frequency of the drugs. Me: ok I’m pretty sure its the only thing keeping me alive!

1 every 8 hours.

I can still barely function. I’m still afraid I’m going to die. I call my sister, I call my childhood best friend. We cry! Childhood friend says I love you I’ll leave tomorow be there in a day but I’m not vaccinated. 😭 sister says i’m vaccinated and I love you but I cant! Because its to dangerous there for my babies!

I understand.

Husband says I have to go back to work. I dont have a choice! We cant lose our car.

I need somone to sign fmla. I have no pcp.

We can get 2nd vaccines next week. 2 1/2 weeks to late.

They want me to stop taking the meds that are keeping me out of the ER to do a test to look at my heart valves.

Im so affraid.

IF YOU ARE NOT VACCINATED PLEASE GO GET VACCINATED NOW!!!

You are not safe no mater how isolated you are! Protect yourself and the community!

BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!

I love my family and my life. I’m scared.

All day I hear the ambulances up and down the street.

This morning they took a family member.

Humans out there

I’m so scared for our lives. Get vaccinated! And vaccinated or not, be a good human being and please Wear masks! Wash your hands! Use Sterile method! Its not to much! Do everything you can to fight this

Do everything you can to preserve life

DO IT BEFORE ITS TO LATE 🙏🏻💉🕊✌🏻



[its-onions]

IM BACK WITH SEASON 2 TAKES

below the cut, jotted down as I was watching!! come obsess with me, send me asks!!! (also i know my fellow book fans will have Thoughts but i truly truly enjoyed the season!!!)

ep1

geralt in immediate Dad Mode I can’t

geralts devastation at thinking yen is dead literally broke me

I really liked the humor in this episode !!! very good start!!!

ep2

2 episodes in… is geralt ever gonna take a bath… disgusting man

who on earth is this eskel 🙃🙃🙃

what the FUCK did they do to eskel

what the literal fuck????????

at least they killed him quickly so I don’t have to witness more of this mischaracterization

geralt please bathe!!!

ep3

lambert lambert what a prick. i love him

eralt is such a mother hen!!

um wtf a witcher funeral is getting eaten by wolves???

yen looks so fucking pretty in this strapless dress

what did they do to my boy cahir ??

the ab armor has finally made an appearance after geralt has been lovingly crafting it

OK THE IGNI ON THE SWORD IM HERE FOR IT

ok why is cahir's dirty crazy look working for me. also top tier yen outfit with these palazzo pants

ep4

I am living for these tight pants geralt keeps wearing like damn that ass

TRISS YOU BETTER TELL HIM YEN IS ALIVE

NO DONT HIT ON HIM

YES GOOD GERALT shut that DOWN

JASKIER IS THE ONE RESCUING ELVES

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD???????

oh fuck that really is a breakup song

oh fuck he’s crying

oh fuck i’m crying

i’m not ok

(also I listened to the song on spotify and the starting verses are amazing)

graham mctavish looks very good in a skirt

oh SHIT dara as a spy!!!!!

geralt is such a dad ... theme of the season.........

im sorry how many people wrote "we're better off without him" yenskier fics? and it’s canon now ?!?!?!?

geralt needing to sit down after portaling is so fucking funny like THATS what takes him out

the timeline joke omg

vesemir's characterization as alternately shady and crying is actually kinda perfect

ep5

they did me dirty making rience hot like i cannot be attracted to the worst villains

lmfao at both geralt and yen hanging out with each other’s exes

love triss as protector of ciris agency [note added later that her betrayal is that much more devastating because she really seemed to be on ciri's side]

yennefer rescuing jask is everything I could’ve wanted

geralt finally finding out yens alive 🥺🥺🥺

ciri calling out for geralt when distressed omg i cant

ciri wanting to repress her emotions 🥺🥺🥺 geralt telling her she’s enough amd extraordinary 🥺🥺🥺

the betrayal in geralt’s face about vesemir

umm yennefer would never betray ciri?? what the fuck ok lauren i see your weird plot and im gonna roll with it but i don't really approve

ep6

ROACH!!!

ok that was the coolest flying leap i’ve ever seen good job geralt

ciris little help me to geralt lol

absolutely screaming at the yenralt reunion holy fuck

ciri matchmaking lmdao

the little standoff between our family and rience

this fight is epic!!!

also geralt’s just deep trust of yen 🥺 and being absolutely broken im not ok

ep7

oh so vilgefortz IS their new daddy

cahirs hair is truly awful

oh jask has WORDS to say lol ok

jaskier immediately stripping down in front of geralt and commenting on his nipples omfg !!!! slut!ll

I love yarpen

living for shirtless jaskier still, we really got a treat in this episode

vilgefortz you are absolutely not worthy you gaslighting fuck

omg fringilla low key respect though

absolutely perfect apology by geralt and recovery by jaskier. perfect!!!!!!

the absolute tension of geralt holding a sword to yens throat and saying mine. just full protective dad mode and also so sexy

the deathless mother stuff is really cool!! very gaunter o dimm

ep8

wow geralt’s trust issues are just gonna get so much worse

a lil worried about jaskiers drinking…

toxicity lambert 🥵

behind the back quen geralt you badass

ok i’m getting mother of dragons (???)

uh francesca please go to therapy

yes destroy the ab armor white lizard thing !!! melt those fake abs!!!!

come home im crying they’re a wolf family

subtle note that duny is not dissolving in ciri's dream bc he’s not actually dead 😳

oh shit very smooth connection to the wild hunt!!!

yayyy yenny is magic again

lol at lamberts rejection of jaskier lmfaoo

oh just realized that was the backstory on lydia in the books !! subtle but appreciated.

istredd being very involved this season! like ok???

ok so finally after 2 seasons we have everything set up for the actual plot lmdao

philippa looks hotttttt af

ciri is something more fuck can y’all kiss already

oh hell yes spectacular dramatic reveal of who emhyr really is!! fantastic setup I am screaming shook losing my mind

(please stop with cahirs hair though)

[pixelwisp-archive]

Hi Ori! Can I ask you your favorite selfship and as many headcanons as you want about you two?

Khooshaaaaaa thank you sm for feeding my hyperfixation on Makki 😩🖤 I’m probably gonna get very carried away with this LMAO I’m so sorry

-His contact name: ✨Fuckass💕✨

-My contact name: Stinky💛

- Pet names: Babe, Baby, nerd (affectionate), he’s also prone to saying dramatic shit to be dinkus like ‘how is the light of my life doing today’

-We have a fake engagement ring so we can fake public proposals for free shit shdfjsjdjd

- He def has a second TikTok account that he doesn’t tell me about and it isn’t until his series of “things my girlfriend cried about this week” comes up on my fyp that I find it LMAO

- in response, I start making those ‘guessing my bf’s replies’ and he gets lowkey so triggered lmao (literally just this )

-if he has thirst traps (which he totally does) I send them to Mattsun and Iwa and they stitch it copying him and making fun and theirs always goes fucking viral lol

- He buys flowers all the time but he purposefully picks out the ugliest he can find and he’ll made a joke like “they reminded me of you babe, heinous 💖” but in actuality he buys the ugly ones because he knows no one else will and he lowkey wants them to feel loved before they eventually die 🥺

- I said this before in an ask to someone once but we are the CEO’s of making fun of Iwaizumi for being such a gym rat lmao please whenever he so much as mentions it we recite the student athlete copypasta

- Stop Grinding?😂 The Grind Never Stops💯 No Breaks😈 We Stay Dream Chasing💪I don't get a break ✊ I'll be out here grinding 😈 Imma be chasing dreams while you're lounging 💯 the only thing i'm chasing🏃🏽😈is my dreams💭✊🏽keep grinding 💯RIP grandma👵🏼Romans 8:1🙏🏼busy?😂 you don't know🤔 what busy is 🏃🏽fam👐🏻 i won't🙅🏻ever stop my grind💯nothing gets handed to me 🙄🙅🏻‍♂️ I work for everything I got ‼️but we ain't done yet 💯😈👀 Nap?😂 I don't know that word😴 while you taking Z's 💤 I'm making W's🙌🏆U snooze you lose😤🤘can kill my ambition💯😈🙏🏻 i will never stop grinding🙏🏻even when im dead sleep is for the weak😴💯 U mean my TEAM⁉️ONE eats, we ALL eat🍽We out here grindin' together💪😤 THAT'S family💯😈

- also either one of us could start a vine and the other will finish it no matter where we are. 

- Me, from the kitchen: Road work ahead?

- Makki, from the other side of the apartment: uh yeah, I sure hope it does

-Makki, brushing his teeth: Two bros chillin in the hot tub

-Me, in the shower: Five feet apart cause they’re not gay 😌✨

- we like have passionate debates but we rarely actually fight??? Like it def happens but it’s usually over something stupid lmao

-  If we ever DO get into an argument, If I’m in the wrong I will literally crumble almost immediately. I will prob leave the room angry and in like a half hour I’ll scamper back out pathetically and the second he so much as looks my way I’ll just start crying and apologizing because The guilt eats me alive lmao.

-  If he’s in the wrong, there will prob be a short silent treatment as he lowkey stews in his guilt and I’m too upset to talk to him, but then he shoots me a link to a Spotify playlist he made from the other room 

- It would literally be something like this

- and I would forgive him on the spot lmao stop he’s so fucking stupid I love him

-  Tbh I hate the fact that Furudate didn’t give him a job so I hc that he does some sort of freelance work - either IT/web dev, video editing, or even a private tutor (or maybe he’s an overachiever and does all 3 💅 can’t stop him)

- He is such a gossip whore and even though I pretend I’m ~above~ drama I fucking live for the tea so the two of us are absolute menaces having gossip sessions after work like

- Anime marathons, snuggled on the couch, doesn’t get bothered when I wanna pause to discuss like every 5 minutes because I’m ADHD and a certified mess

- He has a Sixth Sense when it comes to me having a bad day (no dumbass you’ve just been ranting in the gc since 9am) so he always has dinner and a little pamper session planned on those days and tbh I WILL cry on the spot (I’m a crier if you couldn’t tell fklasdf;jasd)

- him, constantly: I love you biiiiitch, I ain’t never gonna stop lovin you, biiitch

- HE IS SO GOOD WITH KIDS and tbh I’m normally on board with the dink lifestyle but he would make the baby fever so bad jfc

-ok this is getting ridiculous I’ll stop now I just love him a whole lot 😩🖤

[j45uk3]

이희승 - [THIRD]

genre: angst??

Characters: lee heeseung & gender!neutral oc

wc: 2k

synopsis: lee he-san, your best friend (who apparently is your crush) dies in a car accident. then one day, you see him across the street, is that him? Blinded by euphoria, you live the next few months happily. But then a secret lies between his identity, is this really lee he-san, the person you once knew or is it..

His twin brother, Lee Heeseung? 

others: mention of death, everything is fictional-remember that juseyo <3, extremely rushed ngl i had no idea what i was typing but ok-

i survived five whole years without him.

am i proud of that? no. of course not. can you even imagine walking inside your school greeted by looks of pity? and when you sit down everywhere you look something just feels missing? you would think to yourself, he would probably be here eating, he’s most likely to be here around this time. he would be here WITH ME laughing and having the times of our lives in this place. what hurts the most is when you look beside you and you see an empty chair filled with withering flowers and his picture. 

his picture YOU took.

five years? Without him, it felt like five decades. You would look into the mirror and see yourself aging, not only mentally but physically. the dark pits under you eyes would become more visible and the color of your skin fading oh ever so slowly. finding yourself five minutes outside your house and you already feel like your dying of the cold. you were lifeless. 

but then here he is, right in front of you. Clueless as ever, wearing the black leather jacket you gave him for his birthday. 

“h-he-san?” you managed a whisper despite your crippling mental state.

his brows furrowed and his eyes squinted, a look of worry spreading across his face. is this girl ok? his eyes said. and the answer to that? yes, you were walking on Cloud 9, you wouldn’t care for the world if you were to die right now at this moment as long as you saw him again. and he is here, again. 

is this a dream? Is this guy seriously he-san? reaching your hand forward (you knew it was creepy, but euphoria made you blind to anything at the moment) tears gathered on your eyes. Creeped out to the bone, the guy halted and grabbed your wrist - making you feel as delighted as ever. he is real! and his tight grip didn't even stop you from hugging him oh so tight he might even die right after he just showed up to you, not dead. 

Then the most surprising thing came out of his mouth,

“Hey, y/n” 

you froze on the spot not knowing what to say or do. Your best friends death ruined your entire life to the core. Yet seeing him here, saying your name made everything feel all cupcakes and rainbows. He’s alive, he remembers you, he remembers your name. Everything. The color on your face seemed to pop out of nowhere and you hugged him even tighter earning a laugh from him as his long arms hugged you back.

“I-im so glad you’re alive”

“Me too?” 

Chuckling, you two never seemed to let go. 

Months passed by and as expected he astonished everyone at his sudden reappearance, but not everything goes right in life, does it? He knew you loved watching any kind of drama and right after you saw him a list suddenly formed inside your mind. 

if the person, now reincarnated but reported to be dead, comes back to you drama cliches: 

First, either doesn’t remember you, or anything at all.

That’s crossed out from the list since he really remembers me, and... anything else.

Second, came back a complete psychopath or simply wasn’t dead the whole time.

I’ll cross this one out since he died right in front of me and they displayed his actual body in front of us at his funeral. Lastly,

Third, has an unusual vibe and doesn’t act like the person you once knew. 

What scares me is that, i can’t cross this one out.

“Honey?” your mom’s voice cut you off your thoughts.

You looked back, and let out a simple ‘hmm?’ 

“What are you doing with your book?” she called out, i checked my book out and noticed ink spread throughout the page as my hand turned pale gripping onto the pen. 

I looked back to my mom, and gave a small smile as i turned the page, “studying” 

Chuckling, she walked forward, going to me and lay on my bed behind me. It was silent for a few minutes while I focused on my homework. Obviously not being able to, I mentally groaned and slammed my book shut and looked at my mom. “Yes?-”

“Should i call He-san to study with you-”

“-NO” I snapped. My hand immediately separated from my body and my fingers spread showing a ‘stop’ sign. Wearing a fake smile, my mom reached her hand forward and intertwined both our fingers. 

“I will” then she shook her hand along with mine. She let go of my hand and walked to the door, at the same time I twisted back facing my desk again, flustered. I waited for the door to click, but it never came. Glancing back, I see my mom staring at me again.

“What is it this time-”

“Have this” then she threw a square shaped object, and me being the clumsy, sleepy as hell demon I am, I didn’t get to catch it as it fell in front of me. I gawked at my mom and she smiled again and waved her fingers, closing the door shut.

“What’s this” whispering to myself as I lowered my body to reach the object. As I did, I flipped it over and it showed a picture of 2 guys and a girl. The two boys made a heart as the girl stood in the middle cupping her face. Twins were what the boys were, identical twins. Scanning the picture one last time, I spot a name on the bottom left. 

Lee Heeseung.

Lee Heeseung?

Lee Heeseung.

Lee Heeseung.

Lee Heeseung.

Lee Heeseung.

He-san’s twin brother. The simple picture cured all your suspicions. He had a tattoo on his right hand, but He-san had a tattoo on his left. He-san’s allergic to shrimp, but the He-san who showed up happily hogged all the tempura when he visited your home.

Third, has an unusual vibe and doesn’t act like the person you once knew.

the weirdest one was when he told me...he loved me. 

The He-san who showed up isn’t He-san. 

It’s Lee Heeseung, his twin brother.

the door suddenly opened, with Heeseung entering the room. With him, my mother's head peeked from the door and an apologetic look spread across her face. you had to know she said as we made eye contact. I gave a nod of my head and a weak smile, she smiled back and closed the door. Click.

“So what do you want to do?-”

“heeseung”

Silence conquered the entire room, shifting my sight to the frozen boy infront of me my eyes heated up. “Heeseung, right?” I said.

No reply came from the boy. 

“So, you are heeseung.” nothing seemed to process in my mind as the boy simply avoided my eye contact. Nothing filled my mind except.

“Why?, why would you do that?” I weakly asked. “W-why would you act like he-san and give me such high hopes?!” standing up, rage coursed through my veins. 

“Have you ever even thought, what would i feel if i found out? Did you ever wonder on how soon we’ll be able to find out? Heeseung I’m your friend, i’m basically your family-”

“I know, and that’s what hurts the most.” “that you’re only just a friend with me, but when you’re with He-San… You treat him as he’s in love with you. And you with him.” he whole-heartedly admitted. His head was hung-low and regret laced through his voice.

“How bout you? Did you ever consider how i felt?” he snapped.

“What do you mean?-”

“I disappeared, right? You knew I suddenly disappeared out of nowhere, but what did you do? You went to He-san and confessed your feelings right after the news came out

And that one time He-san literally got lost IN A CLUB, and what did you do? You literally dragged me out of MY REUNION with my friends just to find him” 

His head shot up and his eyes swelled with tears “and you know that wasn’t all, so tell me. Did YOU ever think on how I felt with all that favoritism?” 

“I-i just wanted to feel important to you, and I didn’t know what to do. YOU are important to me, same with He-san. But I just didn’t feel the same with you, I didn’t feel any importance on myself whenever I see you treating He-San that way. So, As the mentally broken person I am, I became He-san knowing the consequences” 

No words came out of my mouth as I had yet to process everything he said. I didn’t know what to feel, shame? Guilt? Anger? Or sadness? If only I could just die right then and there I would, my mind was a mess and this whole conversation was a mess. Nothing seemed to sit right anymore. You would think on who really was at fault..is it me? Or is it him?

“But then again, here we are having this conversation. Everything seems to be moving so fast right? It’s been MONTHS. And throughout those months, I felt...important.

To you,” 

Complete silence, none of us spoke a word. Shivering silence I would say. None of us made eye contact, and we made not a single sound but it wasn’t awkward, it was scary. You could feel the rage and anger radiating through the silence. So I did the most logical thing to do,

 Run. just simply get out of the room, house actually. And run. To where?

He-san’s grave. 

I dropped on my knees and my lips tremble tremendously. Taking quick breaths I looked up trying to contain my tears. Looking back down,  it met me with his name engraved on his headstone.

Lee He-san 2001-2021

A salty taste travelled to my lips and i wiped it immediately. My eyes got puffy and my eyesight blurred. My head throbbed loudly and all I could do was drop as my arms supported my entire body. 

“Y/N!” a voice called behind me.

“Y/N!” Heeseung’s voice called me. It was unclear since the noise of the cars honking and my crying blocked my hearing. He also seemed to be far away.

And I didn’t even dare to look back.

“Y/N!” the voice grew louder and i wiped my tears. Looking back, I see Heeseung on the other side of the road. He had a small smile, and he was waving his hand. Guilt corrupted my mind as I stood up and walked to the sidewalk and screamed 

“Go away, I-I don’t deserve to be your friend.” 

He didn’t reply. The pedestrian light turned green, and he walked towards me. The pedestrian was long, and I simply took the chance and ran away again. “Y/N!” His footsteps were loud as he ran going towards me. 

As I reached the middle of the road, a hand grabbed my shoulder and pulled me to turn to the other side. “y/n, listen to me” 

“I-im sorry,” i cut him off “i didn’t know that’s what you felt, I’m such a bad friend, and I was so clueless. I was probably so blinded by-”

“y/n, listen to me. I-it’s fine. I don’t care. As long as we’re together like this and the misunderstanding is clear, everything’s going to be fine. He-san wouldn’t want us to be living like this. I’m sure he would want us to be happy, I-i’m sorry too. I know that was very selfish of me to do that…”

Tears seemed to gather on the bottom of my eyes again, and Heeseung pulled me into his chest and his arms wrapped around my upper body. I hugged him back, breaking the hug right after. “L-let’s just go back to He-san ok?” 

I took a couple of breaths and nodded my head. We were going to walk to the side-walk until a stranger’s voice screamed “KIDS WATCH OUT” 

We both looked forward, and they met us with a truck's front as its honks ringed in my mind. We stood there frozen, and I felt a push from my side and I moved away and my body thumped to the other side of the road. My eyesight was blurry and a huge CRASH was what I heard, and before i knew it my eyesight went blank. 

"y-y/n??" "y/n? y/-"

my eyes shot open and I shot up from the bed. Looking around all i saw was white. rubbing my eyes, doctors, wheelchairs and nurses surrounded me. I looked to where the voice came from and was greeted by my mother. My lips felt dry and I was still wearing my outfit from earlier...earlier...

the truck..heeseung-

"where's heeseung?"

[yaboyspodcastpalace]

For the character asks: Jon, Peter Lukas, Annabelle Cane? (giving multiple suggestions so you can pick one in case you get the same character twice in different asks)

very kind of you to assume i get many asks :') THANKS ill do all of them u_u

[Send me a character and i'll tell you...]

(under the cut bc i love talking and this got long lmao)

Jon

First impression

he's a uptight prick with obvious favoritism for sasha and tim and i love him so! much!!!!!!

Impression now

my poor little mew mew hm................I've got a complicated relationship w/ jon bc i love him a lot, but i loved s1 him the most, and literally everything else just makes me really, brutally, sad ;_; The way he tries so desperately to cling to his humanity and how other characters just call him by the title imposed to him makes me wanna cry

...also he just cares so much ;_; i cry

Favorite moment

probably his interactions with georgie at the beginning of season 3!!! From s5 id say when he killed not!sasha, it felt vindictive ù_ú

Idea for a story

Dhfhdh im p basic when it comes to him ngl, either jon/tim/sasha friends to lovers or jon and desolation!tim or *something*!sasha trying to stay as human as possible, together 😔 (or just any of them living and coping together in s4 n s5)

Unpopular opinion

Im just not a fan of monster jon, at all! He's not the type of character that i enjoy seeing having a corruption arc unfortunately!! It just hurts!!! (and this Is from someone that Loves corruption arcs!!!)

Also i really hate moth jon imagery??? For not particular reason, moths are pretty, but i still hate it u_u AND THE ASSOCIATION OF GREEN W/ JON (or the beholding in general!) I CANNOT STAND IT!! i know its bc of the tma logo but guess what! Its wrong! Purple jon rights!!!

ALSO ALSO the so called pining he had for martin just.... didnt felt like that at all! i have Many feelings abt this!

Favorite relationship

either georgie in s3, or sasha!!! i love how he always praises sasha in her research in s1 and even thought he's at his driest & sharp Trying-To-Project-Professionalism-And-Skepticism she still rolls into his office, interrupts him mid statement to banter w/ him abt pronunciation n stuff and its just Normal, like that speaks volumes of how comfortable they felt around each other! they were friends gdi! the moment he realizes she died and then everytime the not!them mocks him w/ her death makes me wanna break smth q_q

im not even gonna mention tim bc even though i love their relationship It 👏 makes me👏 very 👏 sad 👏

non shippy and also staying strictly canon, i love his relationship with melanie!

Favorite headcanon

sometimes i think abt that one hc that hes really good with arcade games bc he lived near the coast and i smile bc thats cute :) also hes a trans man 💙💗🤍💗💙

Peter

First impression

Mystery evil captain man!!! Fog?? I LOVE him :)

Impression now

I STILL LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! Hes an asshole and has a lovely voice and smile and hes not, hes not Dumb but also he's far from the whooooa evil lonely influence he think he is (played like a cheap fiddle). He also makes me sad in ways i cannot and wont describe, and its a shame that he died cuz he was the best part of season 4 😔 rip you beautiful bastard man i still miss you </3

Favorite moment

"It has blood on it" "thats Leitner's too :D". Also when martin was angry abt idk, breekon? Jon going into the coffin? Cant remember, but peter was like I said id protect the institute, that guys not my problem ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Idea for a story

dfgdfg i have..... a petermart story that dealt with the different flavor of loneliness they both had, half smut half genuine meta of both of them and theorization on the branching of an Entity & how their powers manifested in other people...

basically, peter thinks hes hot shit when it comes to loneliness but gets overwhelmed when martin accidentally projects his feelings abt *fic's plot stuff* on him, its fun stuff!

Unpopular opinion

people either paint him like an absolute devil or an incompetent idiot and hes neither of them! hes an asshole who loves being an asshole but far from the worst monster in the show and he tried to do a clever scheme TWICE on his life and 1. while it was established that any of the rituals wouldnt work singularly the Silence was still a pretty clever attempt if it weren't for gertrude! and 2. well... he tried to manipulate someone petty and formerly supposed to be a web avatar, again not his fault, cant call him stupid for trying dfgdfg

i Do think hes kinda pathetic in some sense considering his backstory, but more out of personal pity than anything else

Favorite relationship

Canonically speaking him and martin! The pull and push of them was The best thing about season 4! Peter being a quite dangerous avatar and martin, beautiful and scared and kinda feisty, confronting him every chance he gets, peter doing his best to manipulate him and martin letting him believe hes succeeding (even thought, he is, partly). They're fascinating characters to have side by side

Favorite headcanon

Partly canonically speaking him and mikaele salesa :) they do bets together! They're lonely sea men! What else could you possibly want?

Also non shippy i like thinking abt peter's and simon's relationship but thats entirely non canon ♡

Diversity wins! The heir of the lonely is a gay man!

Also I think as every rich household(?) the lukases had many paintings and peter as a kid saw the ones w/ sailing ships and imagined sailing far far away from his family. That and seaman aesthetic fucks, which is why he always has the same vibe going on as an adult. He does Not know half of the things he'd need to know to have a ship though but hey he's rich and thats all he needs

Annabelle

First impression

thats a horrible psychological experiment they're making there D:

Impression now

THATS STILL A HORRIBLE EXPERIMENT AND ANNABELLE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER............. idk! she makes me sad in the same way jon (and to a degree, peter) does! to be a living puppet for the thing that traumatized you as a kid and that later kinda killed you / is the only thing keeping you alive, to be devoted to it scrambling to believe in a higher reason for all of it to happen bc to believe otherwise is............. anyway. i love her, and i feel so so sorry for her

Favorite moment

her "maybe ive never been to the beach" at the end of ehr statement (that i fully believe its bullshit but, yknow, i love that she adds that), most of her convos with martin, her "i told you this might happen" "you did, you did" with mikaele

Idea for a story

i think a lot about her having conversations w/ either mikaele (platonically) or sasha (shippy) and their different points of views and treat with her making her doubt the web a bit

Unpopular opinion

listen, listen, i know it sounds like im woobifying her i Know it but reading the scraps of her story how can i Not feel sorry for her? when the story framed her very similar to jon? the supernatural childhood encounter that gave them arachnophobia and the subsequential joining with an Entity against her will? the fact that both the story and the fans treat her like a spider woman always sat very very bad to me, and the fact that the story itself always framed her like a villain (considering All The Other Characters that get the benefit of the doubt) was extremely disappointing

Favorite relationship

her and mikaele!!!!!!! wish we could have seen more scenes of just the two of them!!!!!! *singing* he is her daaaaaad, hes her dad! boogie boogie boogie! (ok no but like... their offscreen friendship is my favorite thing of season 5 ;_;)

Favorite headcanon

Sigh i dont know...i still think she's scared of spiders which make her current existence harder but thats a sadcanon :/ umm...... i love the idea of mikaele and her cooking together from time to time! Mikaele showing her some plates he used to eat as a kid as he talks stories about his life :) and she listens and sometimes tells a story of her own! its been so long since he had a quasy normal conversation! its weird yet nice!

[star-mum]

LIVE REACTION TO NIGHTMARE TIME EP 1

Idk if anyone would even be interested in reading this but as I was watching the show last night I kept writing down my reactions on my notes so here we are

*this is all in caps idk why just roll with it*

THE OPENING SONG IS SUCH A BOP OMG NICK LANG HIMSELF ?????? MONSTER FUCKER RIGHTS ???? HIDGENS ENTRANCE HOW ICONIC "LUCY IS HAVING NONE OF IT" I LOVE THAT OMG JOEY PLAYING KONK (?) IS SUCH A POWER MOVE I LOVE THAT THE BEGGINING IS JUST TARZAN FANFIC SKSKSKSKS MARIAH IS TEXTING JOHN (?) AND HES LAUGHING SM WE LOVE A COMEDY QUEEN I LOVE THEM USING THE ZOOM BACKGROUNDS SKSKSKS KONK IS AWFULLY CLOSE TO COCK AND I THINK ITS ON PURPOSE ?? SPECIALLY WITH THE LAG I HAD TO DO A DOUBLE TAKE SOMETIMES SKSKSKS SOMEONE JUST SAID "TED'S ORIGIN STORY" ON CHAT AND I LOST IT !!!!! COULD YOU IMAGINE ???? HANDSOME LADY ? I MEAN SURE TIGHT JOHN IS LOSING IT FUCK MAN, SAME CURT OMG THAT ACCENT OOOOOOOOHHHH BOY I KNEW IT WAS HER FIANCEE SHIIIIT WE CANNOT TRUST HIM I KNOW THIS !!! "ENTAGLED" SKSKS WHAT SIR HES GAY CHILL OUT WHATS THE YEAR, IT FEELS SO OLD TIMEY "I'D SAY YOU HAD FEELINGS FOR THIS APEMAN" OOOOOOOHHHH DONT U SAY JONATHAN IS A PUSSY BITCH I CAN TELL LUCY JUST DROP IT OH SHE ACTUALLY DID ????? FUCK IT UP BABE

(I JUST ACIDENTALY DELETE HALF OF WHAT I WROTE SHIT, ILL HAVE TO REWRITE IT FROM MEMORY) WHAT THE FUCK THEY WERE TRICKING US??? THEY CALLED IT, WHAAAAAAAAT WDYM "PLAY THE PROFESSOR" IS HE NOT A PROFESSOR WHAT ALTERNATE REALITY IS THIS I NEED TO KNOW

ARE THEY GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM WHAT??? SINGING LONDON BRIDGE WHILE CHASING SOMEONE IS MY FAV SCARY TROP HAHAHHA YEEEEESSS "TOOK OFF WDYM" GIRL HE IS HOLDING A GUN WHAT DO YOU THINK "WDYM" WHY DID HE KEEP THE KONK ACT AFTER LUCY LEFT SKSKSKSKS TED WTF SKSKSKS "I DO SOME OF MY BEST THINKING WHEN IM ERECT" HAHAHAHA TED LIKES TO BE A HIMBO THATS GREAT IS HE GOING TO KILL TED ?? AAAAAAAHHHHHH TED HE HAS A GUN PLZ DONT TEST HIM HE HAS ALREADY KILLED A MAN OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUCK RECAST???? WHO IS TAKING TED'S ROLE ????? OH SO ITS NOT OLD TIMEY AFTER ALL RED SOMETHING???? OH TED'S GONNA PROPOSE IS SHE GONNA SAY NO? SHES GONNA SAY NO RIGHT ? FUUUUUUUUCK HAHAHHAHA WHY IS HE NAKED ??? JAHAHHAHA WHAT WHAT IS HAPPENING TED WHAT ? "PROFESSOR SHOULD GO FUCK HIMSELF" HAHAHAHA PORNHUB PREMIUM ACCOUNT HAHAHAH "OOOoooOOoOoOoOoOohhHhhHh BUT IT IS" FUCK NO DONT KILL HER OOOOOOOOOHHHH TED'S DEAD SHIT OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH ROBERT'S ACTING IS *CHEF'S KISS* DAMN OH SHIT TED *NOW* TED IS DEAD FUCK HIDGENS IS HERE NOOOOOOOOOOO IS HE GONNA KILL HER ??? OH SHIT OH FUCK LUCY'S CAUGHT IN  A BEAR TRAP WHY ARE PPL SAYING WORKING BOYS IN THE CHAT ??? OH THATS WHY !!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHH MINE IS A LITTLE BEHIND IS SHE BROKE ??????? OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHA I KNEW IT HIDGENS GOT PLAYED THATS ON YOU BUDDY OH FUCK HIM UP LUCY ! BECKY BARNES ????? HATCHFIELD LORE ???? WAS SHE RUNNING AWAY FROM HIS HUSBAND IS THAT WHY SHE CLIMBED A TREE APE MAN SHOW UP PLZ WHO IS IT THO ?????? JEFF HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK JESUS CHRIST APE MAN YEEEEAAAHHH WOOLY FOOT ?????? IS IT CHUMBY???? OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH HAHAHA YEEEEAAHHH HOW DID HIDGENS KNOW ????? OH IS IT OVER ?????? NOOOOOOOOOOOO I WANTED MORE ;-----; THIS WAS SO GOOD THO OOOHHH FUCK ANOTHER MUSIC NUMBER JAMIE YOU LOOK AMAZING !!!!!!!!!! I CANT WAIT FOR THESE SONGS TO BE AVAILABLR FOR US (IN LIKE 3 YEARS CAUSE IM BROKE SKSKSKSK) HE DANCES THE CAN CAN ?????? OKAY I SKIPPED A BIT TO BE ON TIME WITH EVERYBODY "ARE YOU FUCKKING HIGH????" YEEEEEEEEEAH PART 2 BABEY !!!!! NICK'S HAIR LOOKS AMAZING OMG OH ???????? BILL AND ALICE !!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD I MISSED THEM !!!!!!!!! OH THE TEEN ANGST I LOVE BILL SM HE'S SUCH A GOOD DAD DEB ????WHY WOULD U HURT BABY ALICE LIKE THIS ???? "I MIGHT NEVER SEE DEB AGAIN" GOD ALICE CHILL OUT LET HER BE A PLAY WRITER BILL CMON "MY BUDDY PAUL" AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH BLINKY ??? I DONT TRUST THAT AT ALL FUCK NO JOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHNNNN I DONT TRUST HES CHARACTER THO OOOOHHH LOVE DISCOUNTS I DIDNT LIKE THE WORKER CALLING HER PRINCESS THO, SHES BILL'S DAUGHTER NOT YOURS OOOOOOHHHHHH NO OH NONONONOONO BILL IS GOING TO DIE I JUST KNOW IT BLINKY IS EVIL I CAN FEEL IT ALICE NO NO LITTERING WHORE JAMES !!!!!!!!!! ALICE IS ALSO GOING TO DIE MAYBE RIGHT NOW WHO KNOWS BLNKY WTF SHE IS A MINOR WTF AAAAAH I DONT LIKE IT HERE JAMES ILY BUT THIS CHARACTER IS CREEPY AS SHIT I DONT LIKE IT HAHAHAH TIGHT LOVE THEME PARK STUPID SHIRTS "I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE FUNNY" HAHAHAHAH DROWSY TOWN ? THE CHAT PULLED MY ATTENTION TO THAT BUT I DONT GET WHY ? IS THIS BAD "I'D FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE" THIS IS SUCH A DAD THING TO SAY OH ALICE CMON DONT SAY THAT BILL CUT IT OUT WITH DECIDING YOUR KIDS FUTURE THATS NOT FUN OH GOD I DONT TRUST THAT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO NO "AHOY BOYS AND GIRLS" NO NONONONONO UNCLE WILEY FUCK OFF THE SNIGGLES NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUUUUUUUUUCK NOOOOO AHHHHHHHHHHHHH "WE'RE THE SNIGGLES DONT BE SCARED" YOU KNOW WHAT SNIGGLES I AM SCARED BUT HELL YEAH SONG TIME OOOOOOOHHH FUCK IT UP JAMES OH ARE THEY GONNA LIKE GIVE THE AUDIENCE A SLEEP INDUCING DRUG OR SOMETHING ??????? "DONT BLINK" AHAHAHA I DONT TRUST THAT AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH "GREAT WE'RE DEAD" HAHAHAH THE SONG WAS A BOP THO "WHAT ARE THE SNIGGLES?" GREAT QUESTION ALICE "NOW U KNOW HOW I FELT WHEN I HAD TO SEAT THROUGH DEH" HAHHAHAHA "SEE U IN A SNIG" HAHAHA SNIGGLETTE ???U OKAY BBY??? OOOOOOOOHHH MORE SONGS HELL YEAH I LOVE ANGELA'S VOICE SM THE SNIGGLE PUNS ARE KINDA CONFUSING ME NGL WHY WAS THAT SO SAD OMG OOOOOOOH SHIT OH FUCK THEYRE GONNA KILL HER I JUST KNOW IT OMG "PRAISE THE WATCHER" OH MY GOD PLZ DONT KILL HER "UNTIL HE'S SEEN EVERYTHING" W H A T LAUREN'S VOICE SKSKSK SO CUTE PAPA SNIGGLE I DO NOT TRUST YOU THOSE ARE ALIVE ARENT THEY ????? OH FUCK SNIGGLETTE IS SHE OKAY ????????? "ANGELA R U ALRIGYT" WHAT "SHUT UP JEFF" OH MY GOD I DONT LIKE WHEN THEYRE SELF AWARE SKSKSKSK " U CAN SHUT THE HELL UP LAUREN" HAHAHAHA BILL OMG HE'S SUCH A DAD HAHAHAHAH ALICE IS SO NICE DO THEY NOT KNOW "ARON AROOON" HAHHAHA OH CHURROS I LOVE THOSE THE GIRL SHE DOESNT LIKE ?????? OH NON BINARY RIGHTS LOVE IT "IS THIS A FRIEND OF ZIGS" OH LOVE RESPECTFUL DAD DEB NOT COOL OH ALICE SHIT ALICE BBY IF SHES CHEATING ON YOU THATS NOT ON UR DAD STOP SHITTING ON HIM LIKE THIS "ITS UR MOTHERS FAULT" OH MY GOD HAHAHHAHA GREG AND ALISON ? AND BETH ?? DOES BETH LIKE HER ????OH NOOOOOO GREG NO U SHITTY SON OF A BITCH GOD FUCKING PUNCH HIM OH  NO HAHAHA FUCK NO THEYRE ALL POSESSED ARENT THEY THATS THE TEEN FROM THE MOVIE THEATER HAHAHHA "it lagged ;-; now we wait" A MAN IN A HURRY HAHAHAHHA OH SHIT BILL IS MAD IS HE POSESSED TOO ??????? OH SHIT WHATS HAPPENING BLINKY ????????? OH NO OH NO SHES GONNA HAVE A PANIC ATTACK THEYRE GONNA BE FINE RIGTH ??????? RIGHT ???? BREATHING EXERCISES BABY CMON OH NO PLZ DONT DO ANYTHING STUPID BILL NOOOOOOOOOOO BILL PLZ DONT DIE AGAIN I LOVE YOU SM PUT UR SEATBELT BACK ON PLZ NOOOOOOOOO OH THEYRE BOTH GOING TO FALL ARENT THEY OH NO OH MY GOD OH SHIT PHONE IS BROKEN OOPS AWN IM GONNA CRY PLZ LET THEM SURVIVE I BEG YOU NICK LANG OOOOOOOOH TWILIGHT BUT GAY I AM *HERE* FOR IT OOOOOH THANK GOD THEYRE SAFE THANK YOU NICK LANG BILL YOURE SUCH A GOOD DAD OH GOD SHIT ALICE CHILL OUT ITS JUST A PHONE BABE "SHE KNOWS IM WATCHING HER" I DONT TRUST THAT IS *SHE* POSESSED OR IS THIS JUST TEEN ANGST ALICE UR DAD IS TRYING HIS BEST PLZ CUT HIM SOME SLACK OH MARIAH TURNED HER CAMERA OFF OH DEAR GOD WHAT DOES THAT MEAN HAHAH I LOVE LIVE BLOOPS OH MY GOD BLINKY IS TERRIFYING FUCK NO DO NOT GET THAT WIGGLY JUNIOR BILL DONT HOW ??????? OH MARIAH IS BACK WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ??????? WHY CANT BILL GET THE MALLET THING DONT TAKE IT YES SMART LAUREN ? SKSKKSS WHAT MADAM IRIS I DO NOT TRUST YOU WHAT ?????? IS THAT ALICE'S PHONE ???? BILL DONT GET SCAMMED OH ITS AN ALL SEEING IPHONE ALICE CHILL PLZ IS HE GONNA DIE ????? PLZ NICK DONT DO THAT ALICE DONT DONT KILL UR DAD 49.95 AGAIN BILL PLZ TRY ANOTHER GAME JAMES DAMN THATS RUTHLESS BILL WHAT AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH IS THAT REAL ???????? IT CANT BE ??????? OH ITS NOT REAL ARE THEY MAKING THEM HATE THEIR FAMILIES AND KILL EACH OTHER ?? A TENDER KISS ON THE CHEEK FROM A DEMON HOW NICE GUYS PLZ JUST GO TO THERAPY I BEG U WHAT ARE U GONNA DO BILL? KICK HER HEAD ??????? (SORRY I HAD TO) BLINKY'S FUNHOUSE THAT SOUNDS WARM AND COMFORTING THIS IS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF NOT UR SEED FIGHTING IN THE MIRROR PART OF A FUN HOUSE IS ALWAYS A GOOD HORROR MOVIE TROPE OH FUCK ARE THEY GONNA WAKE UP OH FUCK PLZ WAKE UP ESCAPE THIS ALIVE YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH OH SHES GONNA SHOOT HIM ISNT SHE ????? SHES GONNA SHOOT HIM I JUST KNOW IT HES AWAKE SHES NOT IS BLINKY GONNA KILL THEM ?? OOOOOOOOHHHHHH FUCK I KNEW IT OH HELL YEAH ALICE FUCK IT UP ARE THEY GONNA DROW ?? OH NO OKAY DID THEY SURVIVE ???? IS SHARED TRAUMA GONNA SAVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SKSKSKKS THEY SURVIVED !!!!!!!!! THANK YOU NICK LANG (AGAIN) WAIT HOW DID SHE GET HER PHONE BACK ? OH MADAM IRIS DID GIVE HER PHONE BACK AWWNNNNNNNN ALICE THIS ONE HAD A HAPPY ENDING YAY WELL IG THE OTHER DID TOO BUT NOT FOR THE CHARACTERS WE KNEW

THIS WAS SO GOOD I LOVER STAKID !!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WISHED I WASNT BROKE SO I COULD PAY FOR THE NEXT ONES KSKSKSKSK WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU GUYS TO DO YOUR REACTIONS FOR THE NEXT ONES !!!

I HEARD GREG AND IT WAS CRAIG SKSKKSSK OOPS

*from this part on is reactions from after the show when starkid was answering questions from the chat*

YEEAAH VOTE FOR BIDEN HELL YEAH STARKID

"THE WITCH IN THE WEB" WEBBY ???????? DO WE GET TO SEE HANNAH AGAIN ?????

A THEORY ON TUMBLR FROM REDDIT ON A INSTAGRAM ACC ON YT OH MY GOD SKSKSKSKKS

THE STORIES ARE CANON !!!!!!!!! THEORIES LETS GO GANG

STARKID FANS WHO CAN DONATE TO STARKID PLZ DO I WISH I COULD DONATE TO THESE TALENTED PPL G O D

I WAS CORRECT IT WAS KONK WITH A K

NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE YES!!!!!! WORKING BOYS !!!!

"NICK LANG IS A BOSS"

MARIAH: SAYS FUCK AS ALICE ALSO MARIAH: GEEKED THE *FREAKED* OUT

TIP JAR HAS BEEN OUT FOR 11 YEARS HELL YEAH

HOW TF DO YOU SPELL ZIGGS BTW

OOOHHH THEYRE FAKE THAT MAKES SENSE OK NOT FAKE COMFIRMED BUT PROBABLY FAKE LETS HOPE DEB DIDNT ACTUALLY CHEAT

"WELL I WAS BORN IN 1989" HAHAHAHA

BECKY CLIMBED WHILE RUNNING FROM HER HUSBAND I FEEL LIKE THATS WHAT THATS ABOUT

OH GOODIE I GET TO WATCH THEM LATER IDK WHEN BUT AT LEAST IK SOMEDAY

BLINKY VS WIGGLY

OH CMON NICK I WANTED TO KNOW ;-;

THIS WAS SO NICE I MISSED THEM ;-;

[hepivs-blog]

❝   zoë kravitz.  cisfemale.  she/her.   ❞   ━    𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨  welcomes  alexandra palmer  with  open  arms.  the thirty two year  old  mechanic has  been  living  here  for  seventeen years,  give  or  take.  on  a  good  day,  they  seem  the  affable  &  tactile type,  but  their  sullen  & distant  tendencies  shine  through  when  there  are  no  taxis  into  the  city.

hey whats up jake paulers. ron here once again, bc i have poor impulse control and i just love too many ppl to only pick one fc at the end of the day yk. so here’s my second kid, alex. n honestly my big little lies ass is just head over heels w zoë so its a win win. anyway, here’s my gal

folks!!!!! *claps hands* ( im too into the kurtis conner intro im sorry ), this yee haw mf right here is alexandra katherine palmer and for the early fifteen years of her life she lived in tucson, arizona so u can say shes a certified yee yee cowgirl n all tha yk

family wise the girl hasn’t had a grand ol time yk, her mom died when she was four due to cystic fibrosis and boy did it take a TOLL on her family fr. honestly tbh alex’s dad loved her mother so much and made sure that alex grew up loving the memory of her mom as much as he did

so yeah, maybe out of a need to occupy alex’s time with activities that encouraged a healthier life for her or out of fear that alex had inherited her mom’s disease, the palmer papa made sure alex was always wrapped up in sports. swimming, cross country, basketball, nothing was too much for alexandra and she genuinely felt a deep connection w athletic activities. but the real winner out of all the modalities alex performed, the girl was an innate boxer

in fact, she became kind of a rising star. alex took up boxing at twelve years old and evolved quickly, her natural disposition and agility were a deadly match and three years later, alex was invited to join a professional boxing team in louisiana ( the reason why they came to lakeview ok )

ofc alex thrived and put a lot of wins under her belt, winning a few championships, even H O W E V E R, when alex was getting ready to go big and finally turning eighteen her dad, papa palmer, had a stroke :///

so she was left with a choice of closing her dad’s garage and going off to fight ppl everywhere professionally and leaving her dad to the care of nurses and the like, or staying w her dad and abandoning her dream of being the next million dollar baby

obvs you can tell which option she picked. bc of her childhood trauma of losing a parent, alex couldn’t envision a living where she didn’t stay and help out her dad. and though nowadays papa palmer is alive and well and kicking, the window of her success is already closed. but alex doesn’t resent her dad for it tbh, if she had to make the choice ten times over, she’d pick her dad

nowadays alex works in her family’s garage and makes a living as a mechanic but she ocasionally still pumps out a few punches. she’s also v protective of her father and couldn’t bear if anything ever happened to him tbh ( can u imagine that??? a good dad?? me neither )

her personality is v hot n cold tbh shes v matter of fact and doesn’t take any bullshit and at the same time shes v confident and extroverted bc of all the sports shes ever practiced and being good at them all yk it must b nice to not suck at coordination skills

yeehaw lesbian yk

has some trouble w relationships bc she always viewed her parents marriage as the be all end all of relationships and the fact that her dad hasn’t remarried and how he says his mother n him were soulmates rlly gets to alex n its sad cause she cant believe she’ll find that in her life thus making her a lil cynical

however v flirty n will offer to pay drinks for pretty girls

kind of a sweetheart but has a hard time showing that cause she hates feeling vulnerable or some dumb shit like that so yk dont invite her to watch sad movies cause she’ll cry n then punch u bc u made her watch it

loves to fish bc shes outdoorsy n annoying

abs for fuckin days

oh def a stoner my dude, she loves to fix cars n smoke n listen to some swift lauryn hill yk how it is

won’t ever admit she has feelings ok the way she’ll show she cares about u is asking you for ur netflix password cause she considers that a familial gesture idk either

conspiracy theories galore she swears she saw an ufo while farming when she was a teenager

has a weird sense of humor but she means well

her pinterest board

okay so i still have one more intro to write but if you’d like to plot w my beautiful but ocasionally aggressive gay pls hmu or yell into the void n i will come to u. thats it arigato n sayonara

[sqoiler]

my role reversal au:

damian is conceived when bruce is training with ra’s 

he’s delivered to bruce when damian is 10 and bruce has been batman for like 5ish years

bruce has no idea what to do with a child but he has a squishy little face and bruce’s eyes and bruce can’t??/ turn him down??

so he takes damian in, and damian being damian, wants to help bruce very!! badly!!

so he sneaks out a lot and eventually bruce is just like “whatever if you can’t beat em join em”

alfred is like “masTER BRUCE!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!! HES A BABY!!!!!!”

and bruce is like “hes fine he was trained???? it’ll all b good”

and damian is named robin after a carving on the handle of his sword. also robins mean spring and bruce is hoping it’ll add to the light/dark theme

damian thinks robin is the WORST and a baby job but he toughs it out bc he wants to make his dad happy

damian’s been robin for like ??? 3 years?/ when damian starts doing teen titans stuff 

(read more bc this is getting Long)

bc robin is gone from gotham for so long, the criminals start to notice and like. take advantage of batman’s weakness without his partner? 

plus justice league stuff, cant forget that

so these street kids start to dress like robin and help protect gotham from the criminals and the “we are robin” movement is led by some random kid named duke

bruce tries to stop the movement but it grows too fast and eventually just gives up and decides to train them. he trains duke personally and lets duke take care of the others (bruce does help a little)

eventually duke’s parents are put in a coma and bruce decides to take duke in?

damian is super resentful but he can’t stay mad at duke for long

before long bruce is. actually adopting duke and then duke decides to be a new identity, the signal

the signal & batman & robin are a trio to be feared

when damian’s like...........16 & duke is like 18 lucius fox finds out that bruce is batman and his oldest daughter finds out also (bc she’s super smort)

tiff really wants to help the city!! but her dad won’t let her and she doesn’t know how without her dad’s help?? so she’s like “lol fine” and she makes a costume and decides it can’t be THAT hard if some privileged white guy managed to start from scratch

and thus; batgirl is born

after some fighting and trials bruce accepts tiff into the fold and tiff & duke become instant besties and damian begrudgingly accepts her presence

everything is gr9 until damian turns 18 and him and bruce’s paths in life seem to shift

tensions rise and it turns into a really messy fight between the two that ends with damian running off to college in bludhaven and signal & batgirl become more of a team then before

bruce is kinda mopey and depressed until some punk wrapped in a purple curtain starts running around and leaving clues everywhere and bruce isn’t sure if this kid is good or bad

the kid tells him to call her spoiler and that she was a professional and that she had everything covered

a week later stephanie brown was moving into wayne manor

steph & bruce argued a lil but bruce liked having a kid around the house again; plus she was so different from damian it was refreshing

before long bruce was offering robin to her, to be his partner, and she gladly accepted

her first night out as robin steph is attacked by some NERD in a dark costume and a hood calling himself nightwing; steph laughs in his face and separates his two fighting children

damian is angry but he can’t hold a grudge since steph is literally an angel and he can tell how good she is for his father and he accepts her as his sister

damian & steph get really really close and steph forces him to do kid stuff he never did as a kid and he shows her how to use a sword and everything is good

steph & tiff are great friends too and steph ADORES tiff as a role model 

steph also loves duke and crashes in his apartment like every other night

everything is great until black mask tells steph that crystal brown is still alive and that if she starts a war in gotham, he’ll let her see her mom again

she does & she doesn’t tell bruce so matches doesn’t show up so--

she dies.

steph dies and bruce is heartbroken and damian retreats to bludhaven without a word and duke soldiers on and tiff retires batgirl

just in time too, because black mask shoots tiff in the spine & she’s paralyzed for life

bruce gets more angry & reckless and little timmy d notices and he’s like “well something’s gotta change”

so he approaches damian and tim’s like “bruh u gotta b robin again” and damian’s like “lol no”

so tim goes to duke and duke’s like “kiddo. im not sure if there’s room for robin what with steph’s ghost so heavy around here” so tim’s like well eff that

and tim makes his own robin costume and he’s robin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bruce tells him no then he accepts him but damian. hates him for replacing steph. 

duke & tiff (tiffiany is now oracle) like tim okay and they all get along

then some kid starts following robin around and they’re like “noT AGAIN” and the girl’s like “wait here me out: let me be batgirl”

nell little is homeless and she ADORED the old robin & batgirl and she just wants to HELP and they’re like “ok fine” so tiff trains nell and viola: batgirl!

this is all good until some OTHER punk with a tire iron shows up and dares to try and jack the tires off the batmobile??? wtf kid??

so bruce, obviously, adopts him, because duke and damian and nell and sorta-tim aren’t enough kids, apparently, and jason for a while doesn’t really have a secret identity? he just trains w duke or tim and hangs out with tiff

then tim quits robin and jason’s like “now’s my Time” and he becomes robin

tim’s a little bummed but he gets over it because jason’s so happy and tim doesn’t want to deprive his brother friend from happiness!

jason’s barely robin for 2 months before there’s a run in with you-know-who and jason’s pretty sure he can take him, or at least hold him over until bruce gets there, but bruce is too late. 

jason is dead and its all bruce’s fault and everything is awful and--

--and someone calling themselves cluemaster is in town

bruce freaks out because the cluemaster person is a girl and who is she what’s going on--

then she reveals herself and stephanie is ALIVE and that’s his daughter and she’s angry but willing to listen and bruce asks how she could POSSIBLY call herself cluemaster

“i picked the name that hurt the most,” she answered, and bruce started to cry

steph doesn’t. come back. but she doesn’t NOT come back. she moves in with damian and takes on spoiler again and she tries to talk to bruce & all the new people in her family

including the new-new batgirl, who followed nell home one day and asked without words to train her. cass lives with tiff & she loves nell and tiff and steph and duke and tim and all her siblings and bruce adopts her and she cries

some random other robin shows up and everyones like !!!!!! until he shows up in wayne manor like “waddup everyone im here” and it’s JASON and everyone’s coming back to life and bruce is like, the Peak Happiest he’s ever been

...so to celebrate he takes the gang on down to the circus

he hears the opening act is quite famous

apparently the acrobats to a stunt without a net under them

bruce is sure this will be a real treat 

[lizziebennet]

Hi Aurora okay first tysm for your blog It's so lovely to have another person so passionate about my fave things (i.e hp and period dramas) Anyway, i recently read the HP series (again) and found myself feeling SO MUCH. I genuinely teared up at so many different touching parts and I was just wondering what are your favorite most heart-wrenching/emotional parts from the books? I realize this is a lengthy quesition so feel free to never answer this or take a year.

ye S SS i love being passionate ab things and sharing that passion w my followers!!!!! i love yall esp when u ask me questions like this where i get to talk ab my fave things everrrrrrrrr (ps thank u so much for letting me take forever to answer this ur so cute to say that ilysm)

ok so literally i will cry my way thru the entire series when i reread bc harry potter has so much emotional weight for me and so many memories that go along with it. but i decided to limit myself to just 10 bc otherwise id be sitting here typing all day. so w/o further ado: 

AURORA’S TOP 10 MOST TEARFUL HARRY POTTER MOMENTS: 

((in no particular order)) 

HARRY READS LILY’S LETTER IN DH: listen harry doesnt actually spend a lot of the books angsting over the fact that he doesnt have parents but in moments like this u remember he IS AN ORPHAN AND IT GETS ME SO HARD. fuk like just picturing harry crouched on the floor of sirius’s bedroom reading that letter… rereading it… crying… wow.gif!!!!! the line that makes me cry eveRY TIME is “She had made her g’s the same way he did : he searched through the letter for every one of them, and each felt like a friendly little wave glimpsed from behind a veil.“ LIKE RIP RIP RIP ABORT ABORT ABORT ITS TOO SAD!!!!!

THE LOST PROPHECY IN OOTP: JESSESCREAMING.JPEG!!!!!!!!!!!! listen ,,, i talk ab this chapter so much on my blog. it is my #1 favorite moment in my #1 favorite harry potter book which is my #1 favorite series of all time. SO ITS A PRETTY BIG DEAL. harry’s reaction to sirius’s death… his anger at dumbledore… his grief… his discovery of his fate… its beautiful writing and its so painful but so amazing to read. LIKE!!!!! MY BABY!!! HE’S LOST SO MANY PEOPLE!!!!!!!! MY SWEET SUMMER CHILD!!!!!!!!!! “I DON’T CARE!“ Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. “I’VE HAD ENOUGH, I’VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON’T CARE ANYMORE!” “You do care,” said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. “You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.”” LIKE LITERALLY WHEN I GET TO THIS POINT I HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK BC IM CRYING SO MUCH I CANT MAKE OUT THE WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!! also fun story: one time i was listening to ootp on audiobook while on vacation and we were in the car waiting to taxi on to a ferry boat and we were listening to this chapter when the ferry guy came by to take our tickets and i had like TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE and jim dale is yelling as harry in the background…. the guy was like ‘is this bitch ok??’ lmaOOOOo 

HARRY AND THE MIRROR OF ERISED IN SS:  this is another one of those moments where you remember that harry is an orphan and its /so/ painful. thinking about this teeny 11 year old baby harry sneaking out every night just to sit in front of this mirror so he can see his parents………my darling baby sweetheart i love him So Much. it just makes me so sad like hes /so young/ AND HE JUST WANTS TO SEE HIS PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!! it also gives way to one of my all time favorite hp quotes: “It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” 

HARRY STOPS SIRIUS AND LUPIN FROM KILLING PETER IN POA: me reading this part is literally ISAYTHATSMYBABYANDIMREALLYPROUD.GIF!!!!!! like!! my boy!! he finds out this man literally caused the death of his parents and he MAKES THE GROWN ASS ADULTS SPARE HIS LIFE… LIKE… he literally acts twice his age and is so mature and is just…….so amazing. it shows such strength and wisdom and it makes me SO PROUD. the way he references james also makes me cry because you see the relationship harry has with james even though he’s literally never met him and its so beautiful. i love harry so much. 

HARRY AFTER SECTUMSEMPER-ING MALFOY IN HBP: this is literally the opposite of that last one where im so proud of harry this is def… not one of his best moments lol. he rly rly fucks up and his guilt is so raw and it makes me so emotional because i feel SO bad for him. its def an important harry moment in the books because it shows his flaws and the consequences of his rage, but it also shows how GOOD he is because he feels so bad about what happens and like willingly takes his punishment even though it means that he cant play in the quidditch match. he really like… atones and even tho its rough to read i def love that its a part of the series bc its a really like watershed moment for harry and i think it really reminds him of the wizard he wants to be. this part also leads to i think a more satisfying harry/ginny first kiss bc ginny defends harry and then him not going to the game leads to “several sunlit days” AKA ONE OF MY FAVE HP MOMENTS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

HARRY AND HERMIONE VISIT JAMES AND LILY’S GRAVE IN DH: “But they were not living, thought Harry: They were gone. The empty words could not disguise the fact that his parents’ moldering remains lay beneath snow and stone, indifferent, unknowing.And tears came before he could stop them, boiling hot then instantly freezing on his face, and what was the point in wiping them off or pretending? He let them fall, his lips pressed hard together, looking down at the thick snow hiding from his eyes the place where the last of Lily and James lay, bones now, surely, or dust, not knowing or caring that their living son stood so near, his heart still beating, alive because of their sacrifice and close to wishing, at this moment, that he was sleeping under the snow with them.”  THIS IS ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS THAT I HAVE TO STOP READING BC IM CRYING SO MUCH I CANT MAKE OUT THE WORDS ANYMORE. I CRIED TYPING THIS. IM SO SAD. 

THE FOREST AGAIN IN DH: hoo boy. hoooooo boy this is a Big One. this one is really…. wow. just. wow. [deep breath]. there is So Much in this chapter that makes me cry where do i even START. harry realizing that he has to die and ACCEPTING IT BRAVELY LIKE THE HERO HE IS. “Why had he never appreciate what a miracle he was,  brain and nerve and bounding heart?” im crying….. hes so good. HARRY NEARLY STOPPING WHEN HE SEES GINNY and ginny’s crying and comforting some girl and im crying too. JAMES. SIRIUS. LILY. REMUS. WHEN HARRY ASKS IF IT HURTS TO DIE LIKE LITEARLLY I HAVE TO PUT THE BOOK DOWN AND GET UP  AND WLAK AROUND THE ROOM BECAUSE I GET SO EMOTIONAL LIKE. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! when harry sees harry and screams at him ……………… rip in pieces me!!!!!!!! ALSO ONE OF HIS LAST THOUGHTS BEFORE THE AVADA KEDAVRA IS OF GINNY AND KISSING HER……….. [GUNSHOTS] [SCREAMING]

BELLATRIX TORTURES HERMIONE IN DH: fuk this scene is no joke scary like it took harry potter to another level of real darkness. hermione being tortured was so chilling like beautiufl amazing smart snarky hermione it was so painful to read like my heart rate goes up when i read it bc im worried for my girl :/ and ron is sHAKING and like screaming and literally throwing himself at the walls to try to get to her and its SO upsetting like. they are still CHILDREN like theyre all so young and they dont deserve this like. hearing her plead and stuff … its just…. too much. these are my CHILDREN i have to PROTECT them. 

HARRY DIGS DOBBYS GRAVE IN DH: this is another one of those harry moments where i just want to give him a huge hug. like he insists on digging dobby’s grave by hand which is just ..... [gets choked up] its fine. and his thoughts while he dig make me so sad. he so /tired/. hes so frustrated with dumbledore and he the hallows and the horcruxes and he feels responsible for what happened. and ron coming out and helping him dig silently makes me so happy and its one of those times u really see how much rons friendship means to harry. and harry comes out of this like ... older and more mature? his wisdom and knowledge is rly apparent when he talks with griphook and olivander right after this like. he knows what hes going to do. hes made his choice. hes not going to race voldemort for the wand. i love him so much for that choice. hes such a grown man in this part like accepting responsibility, taking care of hermione and everyone like getting things in order. i love him. 

MRS WEALSEY HUGS HARRY IN THE HOSPITAL WING IN GOF: “’It wasn’t your fault, Harry,’ Mrs. Weasley whispered. ‘I told him to take the cup with me,’ said Harry. Now the burning feeling was in his throat too. He wished Ron would look away. Mrs. Weasley set the potion down on the bedside cabinet, bent down, and put her arms around Harry. He had no memory of ever being hugged like this, as though by a mother. The full weight of everything he had seen that night seemed to fall in upon him as Mrs. Weasley held him to her. His mothers face, his father’s voice, the sight of Cedric, dead on the ground all started spinning in his head until he could hardly bear it, until he was screwing up his face against the howl of misery fighting to get out of him.” HARRY POTTER DESERVES MORE HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he feels so guilty about cedric and god bless mrs weasley for telling him it wasnt his fault because it WASNT!!! he did so amazing in the graveyard like.. .he saw voldemort return and he fought him and he survived and he saw his paretns and hE TOOK CEDRICS BODY BACK SO IT COULD BE WITH HIS FAMILY!!!!!!!! HE TOOK IT BACK FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  i would die a thousand deaths if it meant that harry didnt have to experience this pain!!!!

whew so there we go!!!!! the bottom line is obviously that i love the harry potter series more than anything and specifically i love the boy harry potter so so SO much and his suffering is agonizing to read and he didnt deserve any of it!!! i can litearlly think of SO many more heartbreaking moments in the series but here are just a handful. happy birthday to harry!!! 

[conflictedrabbit]

2* the AvPD

Conversation w/ my friend I mentioned earlier. With their name / identifying characteristics edited out and some chopping here and there. 

___: 

I made a post abt avod once tho and it got like A few rbs and I thought "if this isn't irony idk what is" Trje

66ccff: ekjal;kdjd;

___: 

me: why do, so many avoidants want to pay for being alive avpd Tumblr: hm . I relate

66ccff: ekleja;ejdl;k

___: me: I'm glad to know people relate but are we fucking ok

66ccff: 

LOL i mean mood tbh

___: HINESTLT like I noticed i do it cuz of you NFBNSBDKSBDKSS

66ccff: though do you mean pay as in like. pay the medical system or pay as in guilt

___: Guilt

66ccff: 

kejk;ldj;L yes ok that is definitely me me: i breathed 5 gallons of air within 3 hours i am so sorry world

___:

me: [realizes it's not entirely religious trauma and also probably just Guilt over taking up space and needing to help ppl otherwise Why Live?} 

Oh god me

66ccff: (this is not even ironic i get like this multiple times a week)

___: 

hdjhdjsd I've been having a bad ep lately actually and like I think I failed to look 5-6 people in the eyes today CUZ IM JUST [WALKS AROHND] WOW . TERRIBLE

66ccff: 

omg it's ok i nearly cried in class today b/c i didn't have a good eng translation for this jp sentence

i was like.... no.... don't....

i stabilized cuz the teacher went on a tangent for a second but like forcing myself to look in his eyes and act normal was so hard i looked away so many times i wa slike. oog my god. end m i love it when walking around where there's other people makes me really nervous and irritable agoraphobia is great!

___: 

GOD yea It's so awkward for me I'm fine if I have a safe person or I'm walking to class but like

66ccff: i came back from class today and took a 6 hr nap cuz of my shame and agoraphobia

___: 

Rip Wish I could do that...

66ccff: well i haven't done my homework so

___: 

I just. Cry a lot NDKSJDJDNSKDNS rip me: I'm strong Me: spent the last 5 days like crying over nothing

66ccff: 

dkjle;ajd i mean... i used to cry but then i got mad at myself for crying so now i just Repress (tm) and sleep and then. the joke is that sometimes it doesn't work self harms... oops... that didn't work either better nap again

___: 

zz Pillows keep u safe Idk what I've been doing lately but I thought I was getting better til I realized I was like Abstaining from feeding myself BFBJSBFSJJFD

66ccff: o h my god

___: 

And I was like "oh fuck I'm a terrible person bc someone told me I should eat and j Didn't Do It I Failed Them"

66ccff: 

ahahahahaahahaha i thought i was getting better too but it was actually because i was just forcing myself to study to give myself an illusion of doing my part and then i went to school and my actual performance is like bad b/c i avoid so many activities that would make me better and i just

___: samd

66ccff: 

Wow i want to die!

___: 

hdjsjdjs

I think I only managed to eat cuz my brother was expecting me to

66ccff: tavpdfw you want to be punished constantly so you don't have to have anxiety about existing

___: 

Cuz he bought me dinner like 6 hours ago but I didn't touch it til now BFJDJD MEEEEE

66ccff: dkja;eljd;

___: 

GOD me: ah I feel good today Me like 3 hours later: oh my God I shouldn't feel good abt myself that's so Selfish ? I am trash

66ccff: oh Mood

___: Avpd solidarity

66ccff: 

honestly i love my environmental soicology class but liek it talks about how we're all consuming and putting things back into the environment

___: Idk how I manage to have avpd and __pd but that's how it is on ths bitch of an earth

66ccff: and i was literally contemplating if death was the only way to take myself out from the cycle

___: 

Me Bhhjsfjd

66ccff: 

i was like holy shit. it's not just consumption i forgot i also put bad gases into the air with everything i breathe i am Bad

___: 

All day today I was hearing abt what happened in Vegas and we were like. Talking in my apologetics class abt the Nature of Evil

66ccff: the true environmentalist take is death

___: And I was just thinking "why must I, exist if all I am is bad"

66ccff: 

oh my god same! i looked over my abt page and i was like this looks fake tumblerina

___: 

apologetics: so mankind is basically evil Me: great! I'll die so there's less evil in the world

66ccff: 

me ME

MEMEMMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEME

___: HHDHSBDJSHD

66ccff: 

sometimes i have fantasies of like going backwards and apologizing to everyone i've ever talked to and to everyone who ever had to work to produce what i've consumed

___: 

M. E

m

66ccff: 

and then hoping that they forget about me and then like disappearing forever i jsut can't see how some people can be like oh yeah factories in china and mexico earn less than 2 dollars an hour to make our stuff and not jus twant to kill themselves

___: 

I'm just pathetic and compulsive if I feel bad about stuff I apologize til like 2 weeks after God. Yea

66ccff: 

the joke is that people hate if you overapologize so you jsut damned if you do damned if you dont :upside_down:

___:

me: uh sorry for being sad People: don't apologize for that Me: Avpd:.  They are mad that I am apologizing also that I am sad Hhhfjjejd

Me: 

ME WKJD;LKD "can you stop saying sorry" "sorry"

___: 

me: oh God I'm so miserable Someone: oh im sorry Me: I wish I could accept this but Pity is too much for a lowly worm like me

66ccff: "what did i just say"

___: MMSNDNBHHHHHHGGGGG

66ccff: 

:smile: :gun:

MOOD

___: avpd feel when you don't deserve to be pitied ?

66ccff: pity is too much kindness ___: 

God yea

LIKE probably just a conflicted feel but I prefer ppl being active than pitying me but then I'm like

"that's selfish I don't deserve that ?"

66ccff: 

someone tells you to watch where you're going feel like you're unable to go outside for the rest of the day

___: 

m. mebdbdhdhdjs

66ccff: oh yeah the joke is that i want people to like. be kind to me but also i don't

___: hell brain

66ccff: so i can't say what i want

___: GGG YEAH

66ccff: 

be kind to me except don't because i'll feel invalid either way so maybe just don't talk to me >feels worse anyway

___: 

Hhhhhhhhhhh me Me: talk to me ? But I don't know what to talk abt ? But I am also not good enough for pity you could just sit there maybe But then the presence of another person will overwhlem me and I'll go cry again/s

66ccff: feel free to entertain yourself, and forget about me, ___: 

Mebdndmdkskdjsja god [looks at all cluster c disorders] you are all bitches and I hate tou

66ccff: 

tavpdfw u gotta depersonalize to make it through the day of talking to other people and acting like ur a normal human bean MOOD

___: GOD yea

66ccff: 

i have a question though if im depersonalizing why do i still feel terrible even if i feel ilke im fake smh

___: God me

66ccff: 

me: i'm not real so heres me acting like i am chill and cool person that is interesting maybe or maybe not me, inside: this sucks and i hate this but im not real so it shouldnt affect me but damn i hate this when u feel separate from your auto-pilot but you still experience all the shame you would without it :thinking: avpd is stupid and contradictory and evolutionarily useless

___: 

__pd isnkind of the same but like if you manage it well you can get stuff done but you still breakdown over the TINIEST DETAIL I hate it And I waste more time thinking abt what I'm gonna do and not actully DOING MT SHIT

66ccff: cripes

___: LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

66ccff:

me in high school UGH i'm ahving that problem right now dude in high school i used to just waste my days reading manga and thnking i should do my homeworka

___: 

me: I'll spend this hour scheduling [2hours later] Me: [stressed nbdjdjjsjdjsjdks

66ccff: and then i'd like. start at 10pm and fuck myself over ___: rip 66ccff: have a crying session at 4am every time an essay is due the next day ___: I actually didn't do one of my assignments tonight 66ccff: bad coping habits ___: Rip me I got discouraged over something lame JFJSNFKSNFD 66ccff: oh mood

___:

relationship issues: occur Me: well, I can't, do anything ever again

66ccff: 

i shouldn't even be discouraged abt my classes bc i'm here to learn and i'm just like. i know nothing i deserve to die kejd;kakejd friend, disagrees with you on something you feel unsure about: WELL I GUESS I AM BAD AND THEY HATE ME NOW time to ghost them

___: 

me: [perceives someone not caring for me] me: and Now...what is Mine Purpose...what do I live for...my Friends....have all abandoned m MEEEEEE avpd sounds super dramatic when you separate it from yourself but like In the moment I'm always just [jdut starts Fucking Crying

66ccff: 

i just want to manage to some kind of social work, give my wealth to some impoverished family, and then kms before 30

yeah my therapists in the past are like why... so soon

___: Jfjdjfjdf 66ccff: and i'm just like "why not i need to minimize all my ills on the world and also on the emotions of my family" ___: That reminds me of like. One of my mutuals talking abt how early he sleeps and he was just 66ccff: this is the optimal time look my life plan

___: 

"why be awake longer than necessary"

Hdhdhfjsjfdjdjdband. I was just . Me

66ccff:

because you hate yourself too much sleep :^)

___: 

God yea That's true. Me rn

I should've been asleep like an hour ago but [plays secret of Mana and then mopes]

66ccff:

dude i used to have bouts of insomnia b4 i got drugs that knock me out (and help me w/ anxiety) like.... i would lay awake and every second of being awake was just making the situation worse

___: I feel like I should get meds to balance out my bipolar eps but

66ccff: but then i couldn't sleep anyway so it was a damned situation ___: my parents r so anti meds 66ccff: rrghbh

___: 

also like Internalized ableism That I don't Needthem and So Many people don't need them

66ccff: oh yeah, why do my essay when i can read an hour of garbage romo manga and feel slightly less bad during that time and then hate myself more

___: 

So I Can do it cuz I'm like Everyone Else and not like Those "crazy" people Rifp

66ccff: 

man i don't wanna encourage meds if your side effects r bad but honestly how did i get the fuck through high school other than triggering intense anxiety about all assignments

like... i was so nonfunctional i shouldn't have even been in school

.....

66ccff: 

all accessibility problems are solvable humans are so bad

___: caring ? About others ? What a concept 66ccff: except sometimes they are good but that is definitely not me

___: 

Me

Ok I try to overcompensate w good to make up for inherent badness THANKS RELIGION

66ccff: 

the US is like: here's a pricetag for your life pay up

___: AAAA

66ccff: 

yeah i can see how christainity wouldn't help there w/ the "original sin" and stuff that doesn't quite exist in other abrahamic religions iirc judaism doesn't even have hell

___:  it's really weird

66ccff: 

i'm guessing its bc of jesus like.... y'all binches killed him so now this is life - christainity

___: 

Like. Christianity makes the most sense to me probably cuz I grew up w it but fuck Man

66ccff:  o yeah i grew up w/ some christianity too ___: It's FUCKED!!!!!! 66ccff:  i actually have agoraphobia issues w/ going inside of churches ___: Oh same 66ccff:  :^) ___: I'm actually fairly anti-church just because the current state of them is very bsd 66ccff:  oh yeah

....

66ccff: 

how can someone like me, who is literally not deserving of life, raise someone else

scrumbles

___:

Me Hdjehdsk

66ccff:  ___ we are so fucked ___: 

It's true Life is fucked We, are fucked

66ccff: existence is violence

[rosyredlipstick]

important facts & quotes from hidden oracle reread #4 part one

i cited everything from the hardback edition bc im a nerd 

- page one apollo is already making pop culture references (1)

- meg is such a badass oh my g od (14)

- riodan does such a beautiful way of explaining things in this novels. awe-inspiring. mind blowing. example: “Her eyes glinted darkly like a crow’s. (I can make that comparison because I invented crows.)” (14-15) wow. beautiful. 

- so i understand this series is going to be about Apollo’s redemption and ~~~~finding himself~~~~ or w\e but JESUS PLEASE RICK you can’t just say “She [Meg] reminded me of the strays my sister was always adopting: dogs, panthers, homeless maidens, small dragons.” (15) WITHOUT PROVIDING SEVERAL BOOKS AS EXAMPLE FOR SAID SENTENCE all i want is a book focused on artemis and her army of small dragons and lesbians dear gods please 

- omfg can you just imagine sally having to go over to Percy’s room and having to tell him that the greek god of the sun apollo was there to see him omfg. imagine the salt. imagine both of them just groaning. imagine.

-”If I had still been an immortal, I might have flirted with her [Sally Jackson] myself.” (30-31) l o l Sally is a middle aged married woman seven months pregnant and still bringing in the gods you go girl im proud of you

- Sally Jackson is one of the best characters in the entire series. citation: every riodan book ever even the non-pjo it’s a fact 

- i 10000% support the idea that percy gave apollo the led zeppelin shirt as a sneaky joke he’s so smart i love him so much

- “Percy laced his fingers. They were long and nimble.”(35) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- He [Percy] would have made an excellent musician.” (35) f u ck 

- literally all percy wants is to “stay alive” long enough to go to college, meet his baby sister, and see his mom get her book published my heart is broken for this boy (35-36)

- the return of the seven layer dip fuck me up (40)

- jfc that poor Prius it’s been through so much (52-54)

- page 67 and Percy’s already made two comic book references he’s such a canon nerd 

- “Cops love me almost as much as teachers do.” god Percy Jackson what are you doing to me

- apollo tried to order a pizza to CHB and honestly same (73)

- g o d will solace jfc wow

- we’re to assume Will’s a skier (his Okemo Mountain jacket & skiers tan) (82) and now i have to write the inevitable fic that comes out of this fact

- Will’s mom was a alt.-country singer from Austin, Texas (83) which wow and honestly makes the fact will is a horrible singer 1000% better

- yellow daises grow year-round in the Apollo cabin, and it smells like fresh linens and dried sage. (83)

- kayla is aiming for the olympics and honestly im so proud already 

- fact: any and all solangelo interaction have me crying into my book 

- “Will put his hand on Nico’s shoulder, ‘Nico, we need to have another talk about your people skills.’” lol this implies that they’ve had this talk before and im dying to hear it

- the Hermes kids are big fans of Rocky Horror Picture Show (95) and now i have to write a seperate list of headcanons for this fact

- speaking of, Apollo used to cosplay as Rocky bc why not. (95-96)

- listen i know im solangelo trash BUT - “Will and Nico sat shoulder to shoulder, bantering good-naturedly. They were so cute together it made me feel desolate.” im destroyed (110)

- “but if I sit alone at my table, strange things happen.” “it’s a mood disorder” “i cant control it” stfu nico u nerd u just want to sit with your boyfriend im dead (110)

- Will nodded serenely. “It’s the strangest thing. Not that Nico would ever misuse his powers to get what he wants.” death to goody-two-shoes will solace 2k17

- off topic but CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE CHIRON THO. like. this happens and will and nico are just standing there. in front of him. telling him they have to sit together OR NICO WILL JUST HAPPEN TO PUT CRACKS INTO HIS CAMP. just imagine. him staring at them. sighing. deciding not to fight this one. agreeing & watching them giggle away bc they’re so SNEAKY & now they can EAT TOGETHER WOW 

-   lol when Meg was going to town on the hot dogs and “Julia and Alice watched her with a mixture of fascination and horror.” (111)

- “Will and Nico exchanged a look that might have meant, here we go.” (112) okay im sorry im just sO GONE FOR LITTLE MOMENTS LIKE THIS I JUST WANT NICO TO BE HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE IN HIS RELATIONSHIPS OKAY

- apollo refers to the seven as “the A-list” (112) same tho

- Jason, Piper, Coach Hedge, Mellie and baby Chuck are all in LA with Piper’s father like???? (113) THIS IS SOMETHING I NEED TO SEE? What’s the living arrangement? Is Jason living with Piper? OH GOD IS JASON LIVING WITH HEDGE AND MELLIE? DO THEY ALL LIVE IN SOME BIG PLACE PIPER’S DAD RENTED OUT???? do Piper and Jason babysit? do they have family dinners? how’s baby chuck doing??? how are they all adjusting to domestic life?? I NEED TO KNOW THIS IS ALL VERY IMPORTANT TO ME 

- lol nico’s just as pissed as eveRYONE IN THE FANDOM about Leo’s not-death and im living for it (113)

- also nico carries around Leo’s lil ‘IM ALIVE LOL’ letter\hologram\thing? like i get it was completely for the plot but?????? “i look at it whenever i want to get angry” (114) like ok nico u lil bean whatever u say u little emo shit

- apollo’s little ‘lol when u have a headache in olympus hephaestus just cracks open your skull and removes whatever brain god\dess u just birthed up lol it’s so much easier ugh’ (116) w h a t t h e f u c k 

- fact: harley is adorable no citation needed

- also you’re telling me chiron, basically as old as time itself tbh, doesn’t speak portuguese? k (120)

- “i am merely assessing how well paolo’s arms are functioning after surgery” (120) those are some big words william u nervous or something??

- “hmph” - nico di angelo, 2016 (120) 

- this isn’t really important but there’s a satyr named herbert and he’s my new favorite character sorry i dont make the rules (124)

- ok so there’s an unnamed random camper who mutters in Italian (127) and now i’ve got the BIGGEST headcanon that this random girl and Nico (omg maybe a few others????) meet a few times a month just to rant to each other in Italian so none of them get sloppy with the language and u g h im such a bitch for nico di angelo frienships

- “A boy in the crowd gasped, ‘she’s a communist!’” (127) i fucking hate this book omfg

i’ll do more later in order to mentally prepare myself for the dark prophecy but it’s 3 am and im tired