#I also think Donna is bipolar

[freedelusionshere]

Yeah. Carmy and the baby thing it comes up quite a bit. Richie uses that against him, too.

Also thinking about Nat and Pete and how Pete lets Nat always feel totally in control? The one time he lets Carm use the freezer she’s pissed. Also her utter dislike of Richie up until S3. How all the Berzatto boys despise Pete (except Carmy who comes around).

So I absolutely love reading the character analyses y’all post on here. And I recently had a thought.

It’s kind of been implied that since Mikey has good social skills, that he’s popular with the ladies. However, between spending all his time at The Beef and his depression, I can’t see him having time for dating.

Like when he tells Tina he doesn’t remember the last time he went to bed…The Beef consumes his life.

And maybe he retells his old party stories like Ceres over and over again because he’s been too busy for that since he took over The Beef and all he has are his old stories to reminisce.

I welcome anyone’s thoughts in this discussion!

[bathenaswopez]

I’m still very annoyed rn

[loversomeloki]

Syd is the Vision.

Carmy is the Force.

UNPACKING THE BEAR'S EMOTIONAL CORE AND WHERE I THINK SEASON 4 COULD GO.

(I started this post about 2 months ago, and now that there are nearly two weeks until Season 4 drops, I feel that there is no better time to make this post)

If you’ve made it all the way to Season 3 of the Bear then you know we’ve come a long way with these two. Sydcarmy endgame all day. I have a ton of thoughts that I want to unpack here but to start, I want to focus on what I think the general premise of the show is and how I think things could go in S4.

A Few of the Shows Clear Major Themes:

Family/Found Family

Grief

Healing/Growth

Passion

Yearning

Purpose

Let’s wait to talk about the obvious parallels that exist between Sydney and Carmen for now, because I could (and more than likely will) write an entire post about that soon. Today, I want to more so focus on the functions of Sydney and Carmen in terms of how they co-exist both emotionally and professionally. What are their roles, and how does it push the story forward. So! Grab a bag of Doritos, a coke, and get comfy--cause this one's gonna be a long one.

As we know, Carmy wanted nothing more than to be in the kitchen alongside his elder brother, Michael. Anytime we get references to Mikey, or Carmy's past, this point continually arises. Multiple times when speaking about Mikey, he mentions how he wanted to be there with him, but Mikey never let him. Carmy admired Mikey--notably to the point of idolizing him, but he was also competing against him, given his older brother stopped letting him come to the restaurant.

I think it’s fair to say that Mikey was the original Vision or Spark for Carmen. An obvious statement, of course, but in order to really see how Syd functions as the new Vision and Spark, we've gotta start there.

Now, logistically speaking, Mikey having the restaurant and being able to make a way for himself is something that Carmy wanted to emulate because anytime Carmy saw his brother in the kitchen he was happy (or at least that's how he appeared). What is made clear to the audience as we see the edges beginning to fray, is that Mikey wore a mask for much of his life--a very realistic and reasonable response to being raised by a bipolar alcoholic parent, and an absent father.

I think this also stems from Carmen's trauma's associated with Donna in the physical space of a kitchen, but we will unpack that in a separate post.

I believe that Carmy wanting to move from the "loner kid brother" role into what he idolized his brother as being --The cool older brother than can throw down in the kitchen and who doesn't seem to let our childhood get to him. Carmy wanting to be Mikey. So he sees Mikey as this cool ass dude, with the flare, and the expertise in the kitchen, but he is rejected by him.

So of course as Carmy admits in his Al-Anon that he wanted to become better than Mikey, it becomes clearer that Mikey was his first source of true inspiration, despite it being planted for a bad (or sad I suppose) reason. It's also clearly an escapism from the life he grew up in, but more importantly it is where we see Carmy romanticizing the idea of running the Beef with his brother. As if it will make all the pain of their childhoods go away. Carmy has a habit of doing this in his life, which suggests he has an avoidant coping mechanism as well.

Here is where Carmy becomes that powerful Force.

He is able to put the work in and execute other people's visions. Because from the start, him becoming a chef is rooted in Mikey being that Spark for him. We don't see moments where he is young cooking, or talking about knowing immediately he always wanted to be a chef. Carmy talks about wanting to make people happy and that food makes them happy. This was also really interesting to see tied back to the Fishes episode given we get another perspective through Donna's talk with Carmy about how she felt cooking for everyone at their family dinner.

I think it's a little deeper than that though. Carmy has a track record of living for everyone else around him, not living for himself, and I think this is why Carmy is the Force rather than the one with the vision. Being the Force however, comes at the expense of taking himself completely out of the equation (in the past!).

For example, when he works under David Fields, he is the one ensuring each dish goes out exactly as it is supposed to. He is the one making David's vision come to life. He is the Force, making it happen.

When Carmy sends the blood orange dish out, that is when we finally see Carmy experiment with his own vision. It's the first time he truly is able to be creative and passionate about what HE wants, not what Fields wants or what any "expert" has told him to do in order to maintain perfection. And I think that he channels a bit of his brother Mikey to do this.

This is what Mikey exhibits in every scene that we see of him. He has that spark, despite the darkness he holds inside, the man is his own person, and Carmy desperately clings to that idea he has in his head about who his brother was.

During his Al-Anon meeting he even goes so far as to describing how Mikey had such a big personality, and a way of being that just easily attracted people to him.

Paraphrasing here, but something along the lines of—“Everyone thought he was their best friend. But he was actually mine.”

With this in mind, I think that Syd takes over Mikey’s role as the Spark/Vision.

LETTING HER SAY LET IT RIP ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY HAD ME SOBBING BECAUSE HOLY FU-

And the subtle ways they display this through the lighting that always halos Mikey and Sydney in the same way. UGHHH could go on forever. Lemme move on.

How It Ends (At least How I Hope)

I’m quite hopeful we get some iteration of the table scene again, except with a more healed/family-oriented Carmy that has matured a bit. Syd challenges him to be better, so seeing him heed that advice would feel satisfying I think for the final season. Hopefully which isn’t season 4 because we would be severely robbed and I can’t get over Ebon seeming done with the show when talking about filming season 4?????

I Know I Know, We Have to Wrap That Storyline Up Tho

I hate to have to even bring it up, but I'm really hoping that the only Cl***e scenes we get are her clocking him about how he feels about Syd. Then and only then, would it be tolerable to see her on screen. I can't even get into it right now, it pisses me off to think about.

ANYWAYS, MOVING ON TO OUR FAVS

I’m envisioning a very specific scenario, something along the lines of:

Carmy stares at her across the room. They are alone at the Bear after a long and frustrating day, but they are completely in sync—as they had been all night. (Perhaps it’s the night after they get some really good news or an outstanding review), and Carmy steps closer, to speak. Words are stuck in his throat for a moment before he clears it.

“You were perfect tonight, Chef,” something that doesn’t quite articulate how much he admires her but he does—and it’s written all over his face in those unmoving big blue eyes.

The compliment takes Syd by surprise, despite his growth over the season. Part of her doesn’t want to trust it, but the word ‘perfect’ is everything she’s wanted to hear from him since the day she walked into the Beef.

“We were perfect,” she says back softly. That same look mirrored in her. The space feels charged, more intimate than before.

Maybe a bit more conversing between them to build the tension up, and finally something shifts and a line is crossed.

“You’re the one that made it possible… from the beginning… it’s always been you, bringing us all to this point,” Carmy says more to himself—finally realizing what we, the audience, has known from Season 1. Syd is his vision. His muse. His spark. & The two of them together is the only way it works.

Syd of course would probably shake it off, deflecting.

“No, come on, it took this place,” Syd looks around, and maybe there’s a montage of the first moment they meet, and further back, we get a few glimpses of Mikey and Richie, and even further when the Berzatto family still owned the place—three kids running around arguing with one another.

Carmy chuckles, finally able to see the place from beyond the guise of his grief. Now his painful memories are replaced with loving ones with his found family and Syd at the very center.

“I’m serious… None of this would’ve ever happened without you, Syd. You deserve all the credit. I’m sorry I didn’t realize that sooner,” He rubs his fist against his chest in a circle. She repeats the gesture, without saying a word before she looks away for a moment—holding her emotions at bay.

Maybe here’s where Carmy takes a step forward, close enough for Syd to back away if she doesn't feel the same way. He leaves her an out, because with him, he needs her to act first, to know what he is feeling is for real, and Syd doesn't budge, just stares right back.

I really want a moment of Carmy actually making a move for what he wants, so he musters up the courage, and we see the conflict in his face a little--the past and the present version of himself fighting against one another, before finally he leans in, stealing a kiss before he pulls away, too afraid of ruining everything. Panic sets in, even though he thought he was okay again, but the moment he does, Syd pulls him back to her, ending the episode with a returned passionate kiss.

Okay thanks for listening to me ramble! K Byeeeeee

[arianna-creates]

DONNAKORY!!!!!!!!!

I love Dickkory, don't get me wrong, but Donnakory's relationship wasn't explored enough. Starfire's emotions are too much for any human to understand, and despite the fact that her joy/rage/love/etcetera gives her power, she has to check herself and make sure she's not being too much or feeling too much because no one around her understands that–but thats not true because Donna completely understands how that feels because she! is! an! Amazon!!!! She has an insane devotion to her sisters on the Island that outsiders couldnt even begin to understand, I think that the only ones who came close were the Titans...

I love them but I also think this ship is very silly because Donna and Dick were the wonder twins (no, not those wonder twins, the other ones)!! They had a profound bond that kids don't usually form except for when they fall in love? But through it all, they were NEVER romantic. Kori getting with Donna would give her major dejavu, but Donna has her sisters to support her and keep her steady...whereas Dick had.....the bats....😬 dating Donna would probably be a breath of fresh air in that sense (although Dick and Kory had a VERY healthy relationship until writers fucked it up for fun)

I love Donna Troy, she's so...she's like an eldest sister who you are very close with and whom you love dearly but she's sort of untouchable because all her life she has presented herself with a maturity that makes you feel small and naive- this makes her being twin brother-in-arms with Dick Grayson feel more like an eldest sister who seems untouchable all your life because he was a childhood prodigy who gave you brief glances of something deeper within him that he was always hiding (him being secretly very fucked up and bipolar) but who kept up the untouchable golden child act fairly well

Reference pic below cut

[straightupclownin]

them as crystal gems and what their placement would be

STEVEN UNIVERSE??? *Takes a long drag of my cigarette* Haven’t been in that fandom in years….

Anyway…this is based on vibe and the gem placement is based off this thing I saw once so like don’t expect much😭🙏

Griffin: Pearl, I feel like it just makes sense and then the placement? Hm…..On his eye probably, meaning gems with those rely on what they see to form opinions and how to act and I feel like that makes sense especially referring to the fact that he’s like pretty much the first kid down in the basement and watched the other boys after his death

Billy: I really wanna say pink quartz, like the positioning and everything on the navel and that’s only because of my hc as gems with it on their navels are more feminine also forgetting self preservation but I was thinking about my hc first lmao

Vance: Peridot but placement on the chest as those gems are emotional and really on impulse, emotions whatever (it just makes sense guys like trust)

Bruce: The way I want to say Lapis Lazuli and that’s only cause I used to ship Lapis and Peridot together and I ship Brance hmm…though I can’t think of any gem that would fit him so…though I also say the placement is chest (I lowkey hc Bruce as Bipolar or some form of mood disorder so)

Robin & Finney: EVERYONE STOP IM MAKING RUBY AND SAPPHIRE I mean cmon Ruby is the protector of Sapphire, Rinney is literally that, their colors are red and blue it’s quite obvious. I feel like the gem placement would be the same as its love and holding hands and such but if not Robin would be chest also or just limbs in general (actions are louder than words) and Finney would be on the head (intelligence and such)

Gwen: Dare I say Yellow Diamond like she has that vibe like guys trust- TRUST!!!! Gem placement on limbs (again, believe actions are stronger than words, express themselves through what they do not what they say)

Donna: Also Dare I say Amethyst (like- at least when I was into the fandom Amethyst wasn’t that talked about??? At least where I looked like no one really understood her character if that makes sense like they focus on others and I feel the same way about Donna idk…maybe I’m crazy) placement would be forehead also I think

@just-call-mefr1es

Loren: Bismuth (totally not cause I shipped Bismuth and Pearl together wdym) also the gem is hollow and yknow-

Marie: Blue Diamond (because of the regret on the way she treated Loren, like how Blue regretted treating Pink badly)

Both of them would have the placement be on their backs because it’s like trouble looking ahead, focusing on the past, not being able to move on and everything like that

[eroticwound]

I love your thoughts on The Bear. Particularly the Berzatto siblings. I was wondering if you could talk about Mikey. And possibly his relationship with Richie. Outside of the internet when I talk to peers about the show people are quick to demonize or dislike Mikey. They cite his behavior with Lee and his taking part in ganging up on Carmy with Donna as reasons why. Also, how Richie was so desperate to get away from the beef.

I would love to hear your opinion about how this could be someone’s impression of Mikey. And how you would describe Mikey to someone who maybe isn’t seeing the whole picture? Or just how you would describe Mikey as a person in general.

And do you think his relationship with Richie was very one sided? Do you think it was always Mikey in the lead? I’ve read some fic that truly makes Mikey terrible to Richie.

Hi anon. Thanks for this incredibly thought out ask. Cannot emphasize enough how much I enjoy getting questions like this :)

Michael Berzatto is a complicated guy and he’s a guy we don’t get a lot of screen time with. That’s by design. He’s the character haunting this narrative. Mikey is the Laura Palmer of The Bear (I have that disease where I see everything through the prism of Twin Peaks), and as such we get to know him mostly through people’s grief. Through their imperfect memories. We’re left missing him just as much as any other character. And while I would love a feature length movie showing Mikey’s last days a la Fire Walk with Me, I very much doubt we will get that. So we’re left to figure out this complicated character with scraps.

For these reasons, I do get why people don't understand Mikey. As you mention, they are literally not given anything close to a whole picture. In fact the screen time we have most with him is during Fishes, when he is quite literally at his worst. If people only saw scenes where Carmen was yelling at people in the kitchen or where Richie was being sexist to Syd, I'm sure they'd have a poor opinion of them as well (in fact, being in this fandom after the first season, I can confirm that most of tumblr disliked Richie).

The healthiest we see Michael is in the Ceres flashback in season 1. He’s exactly how everyone describes him: loud, brash, funny. Both Carmy and Richie are just having the best time, completely immersed in the story he's telling. Even Nat’s having a great time, though both brothers stop her from adding raisins, which is Donna’s recipe for the dish they're making (side note, I find it so interesting that Nat is the one trying to follow their mom’s recipe. She's still trying to please Donna, to garner favor, whereas the boys, who Donna relies on in the kitchen and emotionally, feel fine deviating from Donna’s recipe). Even beyond the Ceres flashback, we do get flashes of what makes Mikey great in Fishes: the opening is him checking in on Natalie, he's really sweet and engaging with Carmen in the pantry, and even though Carmy doesn't take Mikey and Richie trying to set him up with Claire well, it's still proof that Mikey cares.

The thing is Mikey is mentally ill, like Donna and like Carmen. He’s dealing with some sort of chemical imbalance (depression or bipolar) on top of the severe parentification he got from Donna. I talk about it at length in my unfinished series delving into the partentification of the Berzatto siblings. As I point out in those posts, Mikey is actually the sibling getting the worst of the parentification, which is a form of abuse where there is a role-reversal between parent and child. Nat can't morph herself easily to accommodate Donna's dysfunction (she un-normalizes it), so she gets Donna's ire instead. Carmen was also parentified, especially when Mikey was out of the house growing up (they have such an age gap), but Mikey was the oldest. He has high EQ and can morph himself to accommodate Donna's dysfunction. It has in fact shaped him into the person he is. Which is someone who is trying to avoid all of the bad: bad outbursts from Donna, bad feelings from his siblings, bad reactions from outsiders to their family dynamic. He's also trying very hard to avoid the bad emotions he's feeling. Michael is looking to avoid all of this through any means necessary, which includes using alcohol and drugs. As I mention in that parentification meta series, using substances is quite literally the only way he's managing his distress.

I want to talk about each point you mention people citing as to why they don't like Michael. But first, I want to preface it by pointing out that Michael has been forced to move back in with Donna. His failed business ventures and poor mental health have forced him back into this scenario that is NOT GOOD FOR HIM. That scene where Cousin Michelle says to Carm that it's not good for him to be in this environment? Well, it's not good for any of the Berzatto siblings. And throughout the episode, you can tell how exhausted Mikey is by it. By having to fulfill his role as Donna's pseudo-partner.

So let's start with Michael and Donna ganging up on Carmen in the kitchen. When Donna and Mikey do this they are functioning as a parental unit. This is the perfect example of Mikey's parentification at work, of Michael acting as Donna's partner. It's what he's been trained to do to maintain the delicate ecosystem of that house. Donna's emotional state is given top priority. Everyone else's emotions fall to the wayside in light of what she's feeling, otherwise you get fallout like her crashing her car into the house. Mikey talks to Nat about this at the start of the episode:

What do you think she's at right now? A 4? A 5? She's not at a 6.

The siblings literally have a rating system for Donna's moods. They're all trying to avoid escalation above all else. Michael in particular. So in that scene with Carm in the kitchen, Mikey is trying to keep things from escalating. This is something Carmen knows too—hell, it's the first thing Carmen asks Mikey to do in Fishes:

Hey Mikey can you come inside and be you for a little bit, I don't know how to deal with these people.

Carmy needs Michael to come fill his role of buffer between guests and their family. Carmy, notably, gets Donna duty—a role I'm sure Mikey filled before Carmen came along. I say this based on Donna calling Carmen "Michael" when he's trying to coax her to the dinner table at the end of the episode. She's implying talking to her like this is what Michael does. When the people you know irl cite this moment, unfortunately this is the rebuttal: this is Mikey's role. Donna needs his emotional support. Otherwise she'd be more abusive towards Nat and Carm. Michael is doing it for the greater good.

As for Lee, that's another great example of soooo much being implied. Lee, along with Cicero, were best friends with their father, and it is heavily implied that Lee and Donna had a fling or two after their dad fucks off (whether Mr. Berzatto is dead or a deadbeat, who’s to say?). When Lee is helping Donna clean shit off the floor, Mikey grabs a beer from the fridge and asks if they are "doing this again." Basically, Lee and Donna have been romantic before. This means Lee would have been around erratically growing up. And it's clear Michael and Lee have a historic antagonism because of this. Lee's first interaction with Michael in the episode has him threatening to "lay [Michael] out." This screams to me that Lee stepped into the man of the house role, and that Mikey and him had altercations that got physically violent. That's why Mikey says at the dinner table, "I can throw forks cuz this is my father's house." That feels very much like something a kid would say to a man who is trying to replace a missing father. And it's especially heated, because it is Michael who has had to consistently step into the man of the house role for Donna and for his siblings! Michael couldn't leave like Lee when Donna and him broke up. Living with Donna and keeping his siblings ok is daily life for Michael.

So all through the episode, Lee is poking a bear (Mikey Bear to be exact). Lee calls him out about telling the same old stories, embarrasses him in front of everyone by revealing he's borrowed money from Cicero and had to move back in with Donna. Lee has been explicitly disrespecting him. And maybe if Mikey was in a better place, he would have been able to roll with it, but as I mentioned before, Mikey is not in a good place. He's depressed, he's been drinking and taking something (pain pills?) to manage the stress he's under. Him throwing forks is not a lucid reaction. Frankly, if people don't also blame Lee for that outburst, then they really weren't paying attention during the episode.

Finally, onto the Richie portion of your question. Richie’s family is something I would *love* to get more canon info about. All we know is that he's not Italian but Polish, his home life wasn’t great, his dad sucked, and Donna allowed him over so often that he’s practically her fourth child.

Richie and Michael grew up together. They're best friends, practically family. It's why Richie is "cousin." Michael's relationship with Richie is his closest relationship. Everyone says Mikey was their best friend, but Mikey's actual best friend was Richie. Period. And there's some complicated jealousy between Carmen and Richie because of what each is to Michael: Carmy's jealous of Richie and Michael's genuine closeness, and Richie is jealous that Mikey has special regard for Carmen as his actual brother. You see this jealousy in the very first episode of the show during that first walk-in fight: Richie was there for Mikey, buried Mikey and took care of Donna, and yet Mikey left the restaurant to Carmen. Left the money in cans for Carmen, so he could fulfill their dream restaurant together. There's honestly some great fic out there that goes into this jealousy. I'll come back to link it if I can find it.

Bottom line is that Richie was the closest person in Mikey's life. They have the same humor, the same life experiences. They had each other's backs. So when you ask if Richie and Michael's relationship was one-sided, I'm going to answer with a resounding no. They're literally besties. It's just by Fishes, Michael has deteriorated. His depression and drug abuse and failures have shrunk his life. Just compare where they're both at: Michael's moved back in with his mom, is single, and is telling the same old stories from their youth. Richie, on the other hand, might have anxiety (the xanax from Dogs <3), but he's in a stable and loving relationship and has a child on the way. That's why Richie asks Cicero for a job—not to get away from Mikey, but to make more money for his expanding family. And yes, he wants to amount to something more than working at a sandwich shop, but hell, so does Mikey. Neither of them want that for the rest of their lives. It's why Michael tried other business ventures. They fail, so he's stuck at The Beef. But it's a weight around his neck bringing him down. He says as much to Carmen when they're in the pantry:

Yeah but the place is no good, Carmy. It's a fucking nightmare. Like trust me I'm doing you a favor.

He even tries to set it on fire for the insurance money! Only Carmen sees the potential.

As for whether it was always Mikey taking the lead, I do think there's some merit to that. Mikey is talked about as more charming than Richie. You see it in Ceres when the edit compares Mikey telling the Bill Murray story to Richie telling the Bill Murray story to his date. Mikey is loud and funny and can "dial a room." Richie can too, but I think Mikey has more finesse. Still, they rely on each other. They back each other up. Michael would hook people with the stories, and Richie would embellish and inject at the right points or reel Mikey in when needed. They supported each other and worked together. I think any fic you might be reading that's demonizing Michael isn't accurate to his character and is actually falling into a pretty common fic trope: if the focus is Character A, then a fic author will cast Character B as the villain in order to serve whatever they're writing, twisting and embellishing the traits of Character B until they’re barely recognizable. Could Mikey be dismissive and hard to contain? Sure, but I don't think that means he didn't love Richie, or was undemonstrative with his affections. Even when Michael was out of it on drugs, they still had a very close relationship—Richie says so. In fact, everything Richie says about Michael supports this. I see zero support in canon for their relationship being one-sided. I'll say it again, they loved each other.

So this is how I would describe Mikey: loud, funny, obnoxious. He could dial a room. He cared deeply for his family, friends, and employees. He suffered parentification and has some sort of chemical imbalance. In fact, because he was charming and loud and funny, people could ignore his deterioration. Even Richie says, "he was Mikey Bear! I thought he'd come out of it," because he was able to come out of it up to that point. But after decades of not treating the problem, the only solution Michael could see was killing himself. He's a complicated character. He's a tragic character. He's the Laura Palmer of The Bear.

[m4rveys]

why i think harvey specter and louis litt are bpd coded (to an extent)

this is just harmless headcanon based on what i noticed while watching, don’t take me too seriously. i’m pretty sure aaron korsh has never even heard of bpd and no one in that writers room knew enough about psychology to actually write a borderline character…

i could make a way more in depth analysis of their mental… situations… but i haven’t rewatched the show in a while so these are just my most basic observations

louis

aside from his uh.. obvious emotional instability and anger issues. i think the most tangible proof i have of this one is when he was described as “loving, hating, and wanting to be harvey at the same time.” now, i’m pretty sure that was just a movie quote… but Very Telling imho…

also the way all his romantic relationships play out in the show (TARA!!!!)… idk y’all… that tara thing was textbook limerence in my eyes.

side note, i’ve seen people call him bipolar quite a bit but i’m pretty sure most of that is just the colloquial (see: wildly incorrect) usage/misunderstanding of the term and not actual concrete evidence of any bipolar theories.

harvey

this one is a little less obvious, so bear with me. but i think the way he started having panic attacks so severe he had to see a therapist (!!!) because donna went to work for someone else at the same damn firm… i’m sorry but the abandonment issues are wild. also the scene when he sees lipschitz one on one and he’s basically complaining that everyone leaves him and louis is gonna forget about him once he has a baby…? which uh, has he ever met louis before? also, that scene gets extra funny when the writers had him and donna leave for seattle like the day after lucy was born… who’s leaving who now?

also, his anger issues got pretty bad too… and his whole “i don’t care about anyone, caring makes me weak” shtick from the earlier seasons isn’t necessarily giving mental illness, but it certainly doesn’t paint a picture of perfect mental stability… i mean, he does change throughout the show (see: the whole situation with anna) but i’d argue that was directly a result of mike’s presence in his life.

ACTUALLY, DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT ONE. SECRETLY KEEPING MIKE AND RACHEL’S OLD APARTMENT JUST IN CASE THEY MIGHT COME BACK??? but that deserves a whole separate post bc that’s not related to bpd… just homosexuality.

there’s honestly way more than that, but i’d have to rewatch the whole damn show and take notes to properly make an analysis, which i am not currently willing to do.

Also in my mind mike is slightly autistic coded (strong sense of justice, eidetic memory, hyperempathy (actually just normal empathy tbh but he just looks really emotional compared to Harvey “I Don’t Get Attached To Clients, I Win” Specter)) but that’s not an actual theory i have nor is it at all supported by canon, pure projection by me on that one.

Uhhh again don’t take this too seriously, this is just my brain ramblings. i just thought bpd coded suits deserves more love than 4 unknown reddit comments (one of them being me), 1 tumblr post from half a decade ago, and 1 paragraph in a “tv series that portray bpd” article… i was seriously spoiled in my previous fandoms with the mental disorder hcs (see: adhd denki, bpd goro, autistic izuku/shoto/bkg/ren/saiki/everyone hcs being wildly popular).

also, this is in no way meant to be insulting/demeaning to any characters mentioned, just to share an alternative perspective/interpretation, i’m literally the ceo of borderpolartism… (and made up words!) feel free to disagree as heavily as you’d like, this is nothing but my own personal opinion.

Uhhh, i also have no formal education in psychology, just years of lived experience w bpd/autism and their dsm-5 criteria memorized… (Not that the dsm-5 is great in itself, that book is wildly problematic all on its own, but that’s a subject more fitting for a formal research paper and not a tumblr post made by a generally uneducated moron who only finished school up to the 9th grade…)

one day i’ll write up a proper analysis/explanation/character study, but for now this is the best you’re getting outside of the mildly implied but never explicitly stated autistic mike ross WIPs rotting in my notes app rn, never to be finished.

[briamichellewrites]

68

Dave's shirt was stained with blood. The blood belonged to Bria. It brought back memories of everything that had happened. Muto and Donna wanted him to talk to someone because he appeared to be having trouble dealing with what had happened. He would do that. Mike and Brad would watch him. Bria had emerged from surgery and was waking up from the anesthesia. That was the last thing the surgeon told them. They were waiting for permission to visit her. Dave was uneasy. He could not leave until he knew she was okay.

From: Mike Shinoda

To: Joseph Hahn, Chester Bennington, Rob Bourdon, Brad Delson

Subject: Hospital Shooting

While they waited for her to wake up from surgery, Mike emailed the band with a detailed explanation of what had happened, just in case they saw it on the news. At the time, they were waiting to find out if she would be paralysed. The band responded with thoughts and prayers for her recovery, as well as for Dave, who appeared shaken up.

Brad did his best to help by offering to get coffee. They politely declined and invited him to stay with them. Okay, he would do that. Donna thanked him for thinking about them. They were impressed not only by who he was, but also by who he was in person. His girlfriend had been shot, but he was most concerned about them. Minutes seemed like hours. They tried not to think about the possibility that she would never be able to walk again, but the thought kept coming up.

Her publicist issued a statement claiming she was one of the victims injured in the shooting. She was awake following surgery and listed in stable condition. Reports on the number of injured or killed continued to come in. It was a horrific tragedy that should never have occurred. The gunman was detained on multiple charges. He would be charged in the morning.

It was not worth it to draw a gun on innocent people. Despite not being asked, the band showed up at the hospital to help. They hugged Dave and Mike before being asked to join them. They arranged chairs so that everyone could sit together. Dave expressed his gratitude to them for coming. Yes, of course.

Instead of discussing what had happened, they talked about whatever came to mind. Dave was glad for the distraction. Rob mentioned his cat, which reminded them that they needed to feed the animals. Brad and Chester agreed to do it. They asked if Dave would like to join them. He declined because he did not want to miss out if something happened. Brad agreed to keep his phone on just in case. Donna promised to inform them if anything changed.

"What is your cat's name?" Muto asked.

"Mowgli. He is getting on in years."

"Oh no. How long have you had him?”

"I got him as a kitten around 1998 or 1999. Cats do not live forever, unfortunately.”

Mowgli was more than just a cat for him. He was just like his son. Just being with him helped to alleviate his anxiety and depression. Mowgli showed him unconditional love. Losing him would be the most painful experience he had ever had. Would he get a new cat? He was not certain. If he did, they would never be able to replace Mowgli. Would he own a farm like Bria? No, just one cat was enough. Mike and Dave both agreed that living with six animals could be noisy.

"Growler and Misty are mine and Mike's. Bria has Kate, Micha, Henry, and Princess. We like to joke that Princess is my cat because she loves me," Dave explained.

They laughed.

"When did Princess get adopted?" Joe asked.

“Princess was her father's cat. She got her after her parents passed away.” Mike joked, "He spoiled her, which is why she is a diva."

Princess was unlike any other cat that had ever existed. She had an extremely distinct personality. Her father adopted her as a kitten after receiving a late-onset bipolar diagnosis. She helped him get through his illness by distracting him from his depressive episodes. After they died, she was placed in a shelter. Mike and Dave searched until they discovered her. Bria was undergoing rehabilitation at the time.

Princess was the only thing she had left from her parents. Muto expressed his pride in her sobriety. Mike understood what he was saying. Jason. He mentioned that he would talk to his brother. Bradford inquired as to whether the situation was serious. He sighed, frustrated.

"Jason has returned to rehab for three months."

"Oh, my God. Again?" he inquired, surprised.

"Yeah. This is his fourth or fifth attempt."

"Wow. I am so sorry. I do not know anything about addiction, so I am not qualified to give advice."

That was okay. They were trying to work through it together as a family.

After an hour, they could finally see Bria. Brad and Chester had not yet returned. Her voice was hoarse from having a breathing tube inserted into her throat during surgery. They hugged her gently because they did not want to cause her any pain. She was wearing a back brace to protect it. It was not the most comfortable thing. They inquired as to how she was feeling.

She was experiencing pain. Did she remember what had happened? She nodded before stating that she had been shot. That was right. She was not in any pain when it happened. Was she going to be OK? Yes, Muto stated that she was fortunate not to be paralysed. The bullet shattered her back but not her spinal cord. She thanked Dave for assisting her. He asked her not to refer to him as a hero because he was not yet ready for that. Okay.

When Brad and Chester arrived, the media was already waiting outside. Brad groaned because, obviously! They were like vultures! Chester informed him that he would handle them. He would serve as his personal bodyguard. They got out of the car and walked up to the hospital's main entrance. The reporters inquired about Bria. Chester placed his hand on his shoulder. He nodded.

"Bria is resting. We would like to thank everyone for their quick responses. We want to express our love and support to those affected by the shooting."

That was all he had to say. When they finally saw Bria, Brad wanted to keep her close and never let her go. They let him hug her, watching the relief wash over him. She was okay. That was all that mattered at the time. He kissed her on the cheek. They both told each other, "I love you," before he let go. She jokingly claimed to be stronger than a bullet. They laughed and agreed it was correct. She was one of the strongest people they had ever met.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon

[libraryofjoy]

Books I read in March 2023

When I Spoke in Tongues by Jessica Wilbanks. This is a memoir about the author's deconstruction from her Pentecostal childhood faith. It also includes details of her recovery process from an eating disorder and her journey to become a writer. I was really interested in her travel to Nigeria in order to explore Yoruba influence on Pentecostal worship. This was interesting to me because one of my grad school classes involved studying Yoruba religion in Cuba, which also has a large emerging neo-Pentecostal demographic. Although some of my views and experiences with Pentecostalism were very different from Wilbanks's, I appreciated the chance to think carefully about how to approach my experiences through writing and academia intentionally and fruitfully.

Biblical Womanhood by Beth Allison Barr is nonfiction arguing that biblical womanhood as understood by American evangelicals today is not a straightforward reading of the Bible but developed over a long and complicated history, driven by men's desire for power over women. Some of the history was new for me but as a New Testament student I liked her exegesis.

Leftover in China by Roseann Lake is nonfiction about women in China who remain unmarried over age 30-35. There's a lot of detail here about Chinese marriage norms historically and in the present, the impact of the one-child policy meaning that there were fewer girls in China and the girls who were born suddenly had unprecedented attention and access to educational and financial opportunity. I was really interested in the interviews with various women--it offered a personal glimpse into the challenges, privileges, and priorities of these unmarried women.

The Last Queen by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni is historical fiction about the life of Maharani Jindan. This book has romance, politics, trauma of war, and ends with a very moving parent-child tragedy of assimilation and colonization. (Spoilers: you can blame a whole lot of problems on the British.)

The Gilded Page by Mary Wellesley. Nonfiction about handwritten manuscripts, mostly centered on medieval England. Wellesley is interested in what the manuscripts reveal about the people who wrote them by hand: marginalia, errata, other traces of everyday life. This book wove in neatly with Biblical Womanhood's discussion of Margery of Kempe. I was also really interested in all the detail it gave about the ascetic lives of anchoresses.

Heart Berries by Terese Marie Mailhot. This memoir follows the author through her struggle as an Indigenous woman to leave an abusive relationship, learn how to live with bipolar disorder, and parent her two sons. Mailhot makes a conscious effort not to write an auto-hagiography, showing her worst moments in full detail that earns the audience's sympathies even more effectively. I love reading authors' memoirs because at some point they turn into books about writing books. It was really cool to see Mailhot's success after how hard she worked to earn it.

The Last Cuentista by Donna Barba Higuera. Dystopian middle grade scifi. When Earth becomes unliveable, Petra Peña, along with her parents and younger brother, are supposed to be part of a privileged few cryogenically frozen to be woken up 300 years in the future on a new colony planet. When things go wrong Petra stays conscious through her stasis and wakes in a world where no one else remembers stories of Earth. This book was really intense for middle grade fiction! It's a very thoughtful look at grief, love, stories as a means of continuing culture, environmentalism, critique of censorship, and at its heart an argument that conflict comes not from differences between people but from unwillingness to embrace those differences. I appreciated how this book approached its protagonist's disability in a eugenicist dystopia. I'd recommend this book for fans of Tamsyn Muir's Locked Tomb series (particularly if you liked the John chapters in NtN).

The Preacher's Wife by Kate Bowler. This book was already on my list but then Beth Allison Barr talked about Kate Bowler in Biblical Womanhood, which made me even more interested. Bowler looks at celibrity women within evangelicalism, arguing that even the most conservative church spaces offer these spotlit women subtle but significant power, and even the most egalitarian-seeming liberal church spaces still embrace social norms that uphold patriarchal power over women. Fun fact: this book also cites one of my religion professors from undergrad!

How Far the Light Reaches by Sabrina Impler. This book is a collection of memoir essays in which various marine animals are used to illustrate the author's life. The Chinese sturgeon illuminates immigrant familiy history, an octopus watching her eggs pairs with the author's relationship with their mother in regards to disordered eating, and life in high temp, and high pressure volcanic vents are paired with the persistence of a queer community in Seattle. From a craft perspective I'm so impressed by the structure of this work, and it was a real pleasure to read.

Bitter Orange Tree by Jokha Alharthi. Realistic fiction in which an immigrant university student remembers and traces the life of her Omani pseudo-grandmother, who dies just as the narrator is leaving for Britain. There's a lot of love and grief and memory and love again in this book, and the writing is just beautiful.

Bible and Sword by Barbara W. Tuchman explores the historical relationship between Britain and Palestine, particularly the history of Zionism in Britain. (Spoilers: you can blame a whole lot of problems on the British.)

Please Look After Mom by Kyung-Sook Shin. Realistic fiction about the family of a woman who goes missing after she gets separated from her husband at a subway station in Seul. The book switches between the woman's children and husband as narrators, as they search for her and remember her. This book made me think a lot about my own aging parents as I read how easily the children overlook their mother's health issues and failing memory.

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty. Historical fantasy about a notorious pirate coming out of retirement to rescue the daughter of her old crewmate, in part motivated by love for her own daughter. This book is a bit sweary and has PG-13 level sexual content. We've got ruffians and scallywags, sea monsters, rigorous hospitality, legendary treasures, magic and scholars of magic, and some really thoughtful depictions of religious characters whose faiths inform their difficult decisions. Amina wrestles with her nostalgia for her pirate days in light of her post-retirement efforts to be a devout Muslim. I love how Chakraborty writes interactions between characters of different religions.

Nonfiction:8

Fiction:5

Total nonfiction for 2023 so far:18

Total fiction for 2023 so far:10

Total books read for 2023 so far:28

I'd love to chat about any of these books and I'm always happy to provide content warnings on request! What are y'all reading lately? Anything you really love or really hate? Any recommendations?

[danny-chase]

Could you elaborate on the Brother Blood arc please?

Re: my i can fix it disease

Basically it's a flop era, i know it's a flop era, the comics are bad and i dislike most of them, especially how Dick acts in the lead up to the Brother Blood arc which is supposed to be out of line because brainwashing, but is also just like. frustratingly mean to Kory (and part of that is also the fact the comic was written by a white man in the 80s) and she doesn't just dump him (partially because of the fact that this was a comic written by a white man in the 80s) and nothing is really resolved because they're just like "yeah it's brainwashing so it's fine" - but the thing is they never really go super in depth of the type of brainwashing it was, other than throwing out a few lines in a separate comic about it having similar symptoms to being bipolar and schizophrenic. On the other side of the story you have Donna being portrayed as an incompetent leader and worrying over Terry's essay instead of actually getting shit done. So like. it's objectively a bad arc

However - i'm a sucker for the brainwashing trope, i like the implications that Dick's struggling with mental health issues (hence why he didn't see the brainwashing stuff as out of the normal), I love @disco-troy's analysis of Donna's characterization in the arc showing how manipulative Terry is of her. But I really love the idea of Dick and Raven watching the walls move in a cult together and having the time of their lives as everything around them is actively burning down. i think the aesthetics are fantastic. i love the ideas of them tripping balls in a shitty run down prison cell together. later after the arc, Raven reflects a little bit on their time there together where she recalls Dick almost as her knight in shining armor who took care of her while they were together and that is a flat out lie, he went in without any sort of plan, tried fighting, got caught, started getting brainwashed (again) passed out from pain (which Raven had to take some of so he didn't DIE) and laid there like a dead man with his head in Raven's lap. like KLDSFSKD okay to be fair after that they like. went to parades together and were commercials or smth (which is also SO FUNNY) so there were other opportunities but i love the idea that both of their memories of that time are super unreliable and their grasp on reality in the moment were trippy as fuck but that they were both having the time of their lives during their collective hallucination

Anyways i wrote this (slightly morbid) fic about it

[residentevil-simp]

I saw that you did matchup requests, I’ve never done one before so I thought I would now. (Village would be great)

Name: Chaci (pronounced Chase-e)

Age: 19

Pronouns&Sexuality: She/They and Pan/Demi

Hobbies/Interests: I love to read, write and draw. I’m a very hands on person, not afraid to get my hands dirty. I really enjoy being outside as well.

Personality: Quiet, strong willed, independent, blunt, caring, gloomy at times (thanks to my bipolar) and lastly I love to joke around. If I like you, I WILL tease you a lot.

Other: I have a hard time asking for help. I have a big pride issue. My love languages are touch, quality time, and gift giving. A flaw of mine, I’m quick to anger.

One more thing! Sorry I forgot to add this! If I end up hurting my S/O’s feelings I will feel EXTREMELY guilty and try to fix it. Love your writing btw :)

ty! sorry this took so long to get out! I hope yo like it though. <3

Your matchup is with...

Donna Beneviento!

I feel like Donna would be a great match for you! Donna is a pretty creative person, much life yourself, so you have hobbies in common with each other. While majority of Donna’s drawings are mainly designs for her dolls, she thinks every single drawing you make is amazing. She’s so supportive of you and wants to display your art all over House Beneviento. As you’re someone who likes the outdoors, Donna would be appreciative if you helped her out with her garden. As much as she loves plants and flowers, she also hates dirt. 

Donna’s love language is definitely also quality time. She likes to have you by her side while she’s making more of her dolls. You two don’t need to be talking, just having you there is enough to make her more than happy. 

If you ever get angry with Donna (probably because of something Angie caused), she’ll immediately apologize. Donna is a very non-confrontational person and the last thing she wants is for the two of you to fight. She’s also a very sensitive person, so if you do get angry, she’ll get upset easily. Donna won’t stay upset very long though, just give her a bit of space and show her your sorry. Donna can be a bit of a pushover, especially around the other Lords, so having someone so strong willed around is a great confidence boost for her. 

[mjjicons]

apparently i’m an attorney right now

hey guys

this bitch right here

@deborahdeshoftim5779​ i can’t even write her username without copying and pasting it but there we go

she’s trying you guyssss she’s really trying to come for michael

maybe inside her basement......no bathing for days... we know quarantine right.. people get crazy

so here i am responding to the “EVIDENCE THAT MICHAEL JACKSON MOLESTED CHILDREN” because.... i don’t know why tho

but this bitch challenged me and virgos love a challenge

we do love a challenge.. so

RESPONDING TO DEBORAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ABOUT HER BULLSHIT AND MICHAEL JACKSON OBSESSION

Michael Jackson slept in bed with other people’s children. Everyone, including @mjjicons, knows this is inappropriate and unacceptable. The majority of sexual abuse accusations against Michael Jackson have stemmed from the fact that he slept in bed with other people’s children. This is one of the clear reasons why parents do not allow their children to sleep in bed with adult strangers, and @mjjicons knows this very well.

this one is actually so shitty that i can’t even lol i highlighted the most important part on this.. this is actually not true

with a simple google search we can type in like “michael jackson accusations timeline” (i don’t have to do that because i actually know every single one of them but for proof purposes) 

safechuck said he met michael in 1986 in a pepsi commercial set and of course, he said that michael asked him to sleep with him as seen in here:

alright! let’s do some research then

1986... what a year you guys! what a year!

here we have a great year review on the detail. (a youtube channel that i love so so so so so so so so much). and as we all know, 1986 was really important for michael jackson’s career overall, because that was the year when he wrote his (amazing) record called BAD!! kinda reclused. and of course he had the time to be the humanitarian he was:

also i can refute your “evidence number two” that michael only cared about pre-pubescent boys.. here’s our girl donna having a blast with my baby and bubbles.

also, safechuck said that he gave him the thriller jacket in the meeting.......but that’s actually a lie 

because that jacket is with..... lady gaga! because it never was in safechuck’s hands. it was sold for her in a auction.

let’s go forward, shall we?

back to 86. allegations say that michael asked safechuck to sleep with him in the same bed in a trip to hawaii! of course if michael jackson was in hawaii in 1986 we would have some candids.

let’s do our research once again. he was never in hawaii in 86.... 87... no... here we go, 88, with safechuck and his family:

this was in february 1, 1988, at the kahala hilton hotel - hawaii. found it. also, this was the day of “moonwalk - the autobiography” release!

here he is with everyone! and our buddy alan light actually met him at the time:

as alan said, his team was with him too, of course. digging more information we can see it was a business trip and he brought his “friends” with him (fake bitchessss) as always. the first accusations, however, were made to the LAPD in 1993. james was with his whole family in there, fans around, team around, everyone. the only evidence is safechuck’s word, that as we saw before we can’t trust that much. i will explain why in a bit. michael had no time to bullshit in 1988, because this was the year of his american leg of the bad tour, and of course, shooting every single video from the bad era. iconic! he was in japan also in january-february as seen on his year review.

unfortunately i don’t have his hotel files from this time to see how many rooms he booked, but as a fan i can say that when michael did stay in hotels, it was common for him to book the whole hallway. (please read j. randy taraborrelli’s book if interested). same bed huh.......i don’t think so too

michael was diagnosed with vitiligo at the time, and his self-esteem wasn’t 100% (for his whole life actually) so i doubt he would let anyone in his room. also, his addiction to medication was also at the beggining. he was working so much as you can see. wait a minute. i have to eat my breakfast.

back at it.

about sleeping with children in the same bed in other occasions:

with the allegations made firstly in 1993, michael had to explain himself about every situation envolving himself and kids around him. he wasn’t a men of interviews, but on the topic, michael always said he never was alone with little boys in a bedroom. there always was someone when he did watch movies with his friends, including liz taylor, in any room (neverland had a whole movie theater there) and if falling asleep was the case, he mostly laid down on the floor. and he didn��t sleep a lot either. he couldn’t.

about sharing a bed tho, it happened! i’m not saying this never happened, brett barnes said it happened, in opposite sides, no touching. it happened, yes, and this is something not common between you and someone that isn’t your own kid. but it doesn’t mean that michael took off his clothes and had sex with a minor. not only a minor, but small boys. when someone is accused of pedophilia this is obviously a red flag, but those red flags were investigated by the FBI and local police (LAPD). if michael did it with a little boy, his DNA, sperm, skin would be all over them. the abuse would be clear. a kid doesn’t have body structure to handle abuse and heal fast enough. those are little kids. the brain development and body development aren’t enough to hide such a thing. if michael did it, he would be arrested FOR LIFE. oh yes he would. because no one besides his fans were there for him when shit got bad. people wanted his head in a plate with a tomato in his mouth.

on a side note i don’t know why people think michael was someone that always had time to keep little boys around him and sleeping around with them...........he worked his ass off EVERY SINGLE YEAR OF HIS ACTIVE CAREER LIFE. years and years on tour, no privacy, no free time, no real friends, no real family, no one.........

2. The vast majority of “special friends” were pre-pubescent boys, who Jackson dumped once they hit puberty. Joy Robson testified to this in 2005, saying that she told June Chandler this would happen to her son as well. Joy Robson admitted in court that the dumping had a serious mental effect on the boys, as they were no longer the favourite.

this is the biggest lie ever. i can’t even. about “the vast majority of michael’s friends being pre-pubescent boys” i won’t even post pictures of him and little girls because this is actually.........sick.............you are just a google search away... don’t be a lazy bitch.

this dumping thing is so sad to read because it portraits kids as literal objects. and this is actually a lie too. michael mantained contact with people for years, like macaulay, the cascio family (including all the kids), omer, his nephews, tata vega..... so many people, so many children. the female-chandler had jordan and his sister as kids, and in the years that michael related with them he was at family barbecues with the chandlers (and the press even called them his new family) because he was always around EVERYONE. 

the 2005 trial was the only one actually dumped in all of this because there was no evidence against michael. and 2005 is actually a really important year for all of us, because it was the year of the innocent veredict. and wade robson was a witness in this trial. ON MICHAEL’S FAVOUR. if joy robson warned june about this in this trial WHY WOULD HER KID TESTIFY IN A ALLEGED PEDOPHILE’S SIDE?????????? 

this makes no sense. and also, the clownery was way too much. in the book “untouchable” by randall sullivan (i do not know if this is the english title because i am brazilian and here this is the title for the book, i just translated it. but you can find it everywhere) the author describes how the prosecution tried too hard to accuse michael. they were always catching “witnesses” - even a man that said michael molested him in the 80′s, but when asked about the dates, time, what happened, the court found michael wasn’t even in the place the man said he was at the time. but they demanded michael to testify on court anyway - to talk about a child he never met in a day he was at a event - with pictures and shit. a solid alibi. it was ignored. the witch hunt was big and they were ready to put michael in handcuffs WHENEVER THEY COULD. they just needed something. and this something never came.

if you are good enough to get all “your evidence” together, don’t be lazy to check facts. as i said before, it’s a google search away. 

about joy robson, this bitch is bipolar or.. idk. because she was thriving in 2013 liking posts about michael and how good he was.

2013 was also the year wade filled his allegations against michael. because wade realized that michael actually did the wrong to him in 2012. before that, as a grown ass man, in the ‘05 trial, he didn’t. but in 2012 oh boy we are here just realizing things.

in 2009, michael’s passing, the estate released the michael jackson opus, a big book of memories and good stuff. wade was there too and made a beautiful statement, as follows:

“Michael Jackson changed the world and, more personally, my life forever. He is the reason I dance, the reason I make music, and one of the main reasons I believe in the pure goodness of human kind.”

and after that, wade wanted to be on charge of all the tributes related to michael in tv shows and awards. that’s pretty big right......to work in the name of your “abuser”.......

now you answer me: how did joy robson warned june chandler about anything if she, herself, said that wade didn’t show a single sign that he was abused by michael? she even said michael coached him to be “a master of deception” and that “wade should have won an oscar for lying that good for her” on court (2013) and that she was lied to so good that she never believed anything.... but warned chandler’s mom about “dumping”? what dumping?

if wade was dumped and really sad about it.....why would he want to lead shit about michael after he died? if your molester died....you should cheer up....

just a side note: joy said in leaving neverland that when michael died she was so relieved and danced around BUT HOW IF HER SON JUST WROTE A WHOLE LOVE LETTER TO MICHAEL JACKSON IN HIS MEMORIAL

is it crack? is it? what you smoke? following up..

3. Michael Jackson’s “special friends” include: Emmanuel Lewis (Brooke Shields said in 1984 that it looked like the pop star was dating the boy, rather than her), Jonathan Spence (Jackson owned a naked photograph of him), James Safechuck, Brett Barnes (Jackson is on video pretending this boy is his cousin), Macaulay Culkin, Wade Robson, Jordan Chandler, Jason Francia, Arnold Schleiter, Sean Lennon (Mark Ronson said that Jackson watched pornography with both of them in a hotel room), Omer Bhatti (whom Jackson met in a Tunisian hotel, and pretended the boy was his son), David Martinez, Gavin Arvizo, Michael Jacobshagen, and his nephews (whom the police suspected him of molesting, and with whom he took an inappropriate photo shoot for Star Magazine).

“brooke shields said in 1984 that blahblagabal” when where WHERE bitch where

i think people don’t actually answer your allegations because it is so DUMB that no one wants to waste their time with you. like......why am i doing this

i am just on #3 and i’m so tired because THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT IT are you wade robson in a fake account? just take off your mask

just

why

if you have this brooke shields line please show me???? i would like to see it

michael didn’t meet omer in a tunisian hotel, he actually met him because he was in a contest for michael jackson impersonators.......and he loves him, and pia, his mom, is so grateful for everything michael done for their family WHY AM I RESPONDING TO THIS i am so frustrated 

4. Joy Robson also testified in 2005 that Jackson had called her up in the middle of the night in December 1993, asking that Wade Robson be brought to his bedroom. She admitted that she went back home, after leaving her son with Jackson. For context, Jackson was under investigation for child sexual abuse of Jordan Chandler at the time

she actually didn’t because she wasn’t a witness on court at the time. wade was. she wasn’t. as i showed before. next.

actually i’m tired because all of this is so dumb and i am wasting my time........ let’s just jump to the final shit.

We have good reason to believe that Jackson molested other boys not named above. For example, who was the boy whose semi-nude photograph was found inside Jackson’s bedroom in August 1993? 

they never found anything in ‘93 because if they did michael would be arrested...............

Who filed a Restraining Order against Jackson back in the 80′s, and who reported this to the FBI? 

no one filed a restraining order against michael back in 80′s. there is no such evidence. the fbi files are public and you can access them and read everything.

Who were the two Mexican boys that Jackson was accused of molesting back in 1985-1986?

michael didn’t have contact with any mexican people between ‘85 and ‘86 as i said before, in his year review, and in ‘85 he was never seen with any mexican boys because he was working in USA for africa, we are the world and captain EO. nothing michael did was away from the public eye. 

Who were the other boys that slept in Jackson’s bedroom, according to a security guard? Who were the boys/men whose DNA was found in semen stains on Jackson’s mattress in November 2003? Who was the “Rhonda” who sent Jackson a picture book of naked boys, because she said Jackson might like them? What did Norma Staikos know about Jackson’s predilection for pre-pubescent boys? Who was the boy that Darlene Craviotto saw Jackson alone with in 1991 (reported in her book)?

norma staikos was his personal assistant at the time and wade said she knew about “what was going on” and was someone that arranged all the “sexual meetings” as said on court right here, but this meeting mentioned by wade on court was actually arranged BY HIS OWN MOTHER! 

and the book by darlene craviotto never mentioned anything sexual between michael and boys, actually it’s a kind book about how michael helped her with her agoraphobia................

WOW THAT WAS LONG AND I FEEL SO DUMB RIGHT NOW

the rest of your evidence isn’t worth the read or the research because i’m not the one who should be doing this, debora, it should be you. just google it. or show something more credible, maybe actual proof? pictures? videos? audiotapes? where are they?

why am i here tho?

fuck you bitch

[listenallyehpeople]

Books I Read in 2020

I don't know if anyone's interested, but inspired by other blogs sharing their reading achievements from 2020, I decided to pick up the trend and tell you about mine. The books with only their backs visible hold the place of books I borrowed this year and no longer have at home.

Hermann Hesse: Demian (German version)

Lewis Carroll: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

Adam Silvera: They Both Die at the End

Neil Gaiman: Neverwhere

Roald Dahl: James and the Giant Peach (for a English project)

J.R. Johansson: Paranoia

V. E. Schwab: Vengeful (the Sequel to Vicious)

Ray Bradbury: Fahrenheit 451

Alexandra Bracken: Never Fade (the 2nd book in the The Darkest Minds-series)

Karen McManus: Two Can Keep a Secret

Stefan Merrill Block: The Story of Forgetting

Nick Hornby: A Long Way Down

Jack Kerouac: On the Road

Patrick Süskind: Das Parfum (German version of Perfume)

Lemony Snicket: The Wide Window

Cassandra Clare: City of Bones

Otfried Preußler: Krabat (German version)

Matt Haig: How to Stop Time - 6th place of my favourites this year, highly recommend

Thomas Glavinic: Der Kameramörder (German version)

Donna Tartt: The Secret History - 3rd place of my favourites, i'm ready for more Dark Academia, absolutely love the aesthetic

Sarah Pinborough: 13 Minutes

Thomas Glavinic: Wie man leben soll (German version)

George R.R. Martin: A Storm of Swords (ASoIaF book 3)

Shirley Jackson: The Haunting of Hill House

Brandon Sanderson: Alcatraz Vs the Evil Librarians

Brandon Sanderson: AVtEL The Scrivener's Bones

Philip Pullman: Northern Lights (first in His Dark Materials-trilogy) - the whole trilogy has a special place in my heart, hence 2nd Favourite Book of the year, i also love the cover

Brandon Sanderson: AVtEL The Knights of Crystallia

Brandon Sanderson: AVtEL The Shattered Lens

Brandon Sanderson: AVtEL The Dark Talent

Christina Henry: The Girl in Red

Linda Grant: The Clothes on Their Backs

Philip Pullman: The Subtle Knife (HDM book 2)

Maggie Stiefvater: Call down the Hawk

Kerri Maniscalco: Stalking Jack the Ripper

Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera: What If It's Us

Ciara Smyth: The Falling in Love Montage

Audrey Niffenegger: The Time Traveler's Wife - an all-time-favourite and book 1 of the favourites of 2020, it broke my heart and i cried my eyes out and i don't think i'll ever recover; the movie also made me cry even though the book is a hundred times better

Ocean Vuong: On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous - 5th place of my favs, i fell in love with the writing and i'm planning on getting poetry books by the author

John Green: Looking for Alaska

Franz Kafka: Die Verwandlung (German version of Metamorphosis, read it for German class)

Frau Meier: Biss Einer Weint (German Version, a parody of the Twilight-series)

Shlomo Graber: Der Junge, der nicht hassen wollte (German version, a man tells his story of surving three concentration camps, including Auschwitz)

Jennifer Niven: All the Bright Places - 4th favourite book of 2020, it was as heartbreaking as everyone foretold, and suffering from Bipolar Disorder myself, it hit home quite hard; heavy trigger warning, though

Bertolt Brecht: Der gute Mensch von Sezuan (German version, also read for German class)

Philip Pullman: The Amber Spyglass (HDM book 3) - i was so glad when i found out there are sequels to the trilogy, i thought this was the end

Maybe I'm also going to create a TBR-list for 2021. Happy New Reading Year, everyone! :)

[maurianasravenholdt]

Titans S2 E9 Spoilers

Just finished watching and I have some... feelings about all of this.

1. How goddamn dare they. Especially Donna. And Jason.

2. Gar staying and telling Dick he did right by telling the truth and apologizing was spot on. He’s clearly got the brain cell this episode. At least in the first half.

3. Rachel left, with Donna, but also blamed Donna, then left her in an uber? What was happening?

4. Jericho is 100% inside of Slade. This episode confirms it. Adeline knows it too. She said “They”.

5. Oh Conner. That’s probably not going to end well.

6. Dawn should go to Greenland. I’m very tired of her character.

7. I was sobbing in the first 5 minutes when everybody left Dick and he just stood there and took it. The implications of that are staggering. How low is his self worth, how long has he felt so worthless, that he lets hank punch him, let’s everyone leave, and he stands there like he deserves it. That hurt.

8. It was also a gut punch to watch Dick have a dissociative episode in the airport. As someone who is bipolar and intimately familiar with dissociative episodes, they’re not fun. And frankly I think Dick is having a mixed bipolar episode, but I’m not here to talk head canon today.

9. Did everyone just forget the “Slades in the Tower”? Thing? Or did they just go “Oh Dick, you’re being delusional/hallucinating.” And move on? Did Dick forget too? Cause in no world would Dick “The definition of a mother hen” Grayson leave Gar and Conner alone in the tower with Slade chilling in the ceiling.

I have so much to unpack for this episode, and honestly? Most of it isn’t good. I want to trust the writers so much, and the talent in the show is AMAZING, so I want to love it but...

I can’t.

[dailyaudiobible]

9/06/2020 DAB Transcript

Song 1:1-4:16, 2 Corinthians 8:16-24, Psalms 50:1-23, Proverbs 22:22-23

Today is the 6th day of September welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is a joy to be here at the threshold again and throw open the door and step into a shiny, sparkly, new week together. This will be the first full week of the month of September and can’t think of a better thing to do than to begin this week by immersing ourselves in the Scriptures. And, so, we finished the book of Ecclesiastes yesterday. So, we greet this new week we’ll be moving into some new territory. And we’ve been moving through the wisdom literature that is contained in the Bible, that being a part of Psalms, the Proverbs, Job Ecclesiastes. And we’re remaining in wisdom literature as we come into this new book, but it's a very different perspective, a very…coming from a very different place.

Introduction to the Song of Songs / the Song of Solomon:

This is the book known as the Song of Songs or the Song of Solomon. And it's some of the most beautiful poetry in the…in the world and these love poems are of the consummation of love and bliss and joy between a man and a woman who have committed their lives and are just basically drunk with love for one another. But this is poetry and its wisdom literature. And, so, there are many layers that…that can be looked at. There are many ways to look at what we’re about to read together. Certainly, the passionate consummation of love between a man and woman who…who are just deeply lost in love is the pretext. So, it stands alone on its own as a witness to…to marital love and the bliss that happens in a passionate physical relationship. But there are other ways to read this - a mystical reading, like what are the deeper layers here? What do the allegories mean? And, so, like ancient Jewish tradition looks at the…the poem from the perspective that it reveals God's passionate love for His children, the Hebrew people, which is…which is completely supportable in the Scriptures in the old and new Testaments. And then in our Christian tradition we have an allegorical look at the passionate, deep, abiding, like lost in love passion of Christ for His church and His deep desire for His people. And this is one of the cases where all of those can be right all at the same time. It's a short book. We’ll read it today and tomorrow. And, so, you can read it number of times. You can read it from a number of perspectives on your own just inviting God to take you deeper and deeper into it and see what kind of lens the Holy Spirit leads you to. And, so, that's what can happen here as we move through this. Invite God into how you hear it, how you receive it. Since it’s love poetry between a man…a man and a woman we have a tradition here at the Daily Audio Bible, my wife Jill comes to join me for these couple of days and I can read the male part and she can read the female part and that takes us into the…into the poetry in a meaningful way. And, so, I welcome my wife Jill along for this ride and we got a brand-new week so we’re gonna read from the Christian Standard Bible this week. Song of songs chapters 1 through 4.

Prayer:

Father we thank You for Your word and we thank You for bringing us into this new, shiny, sparkly week that is out in front of us reminding us that we will live into it one way or the other. There is only one way to go and that is forward. And, so, we will be swept forward into this week, but we will either be swept into the torrent of the chaos that can swirl all around us or we will methodically walk hand-in-hand step-by-step with the lover of our souls that we are reading about as we read through the song of Solomon. And we thank You for the gift of love. We thank You for the gift of companionship, we thank You for our spouses, we thank You for the intimacy that we share together, we thank You for the intimacy that You long for with us, that You are within us, which is as intimate as it can be. And, so, we acknowledge that. We settle into that. You want to be with us. We want to be with You. And, so, we give ourselves to You with abandon as we walk into this new week. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it is home base, it's where the Global Campfire is. It’s our entrance into the community together. So, be aware of it. So, check it out.

Check out the resources that are available in Daily Audio Bible Shop. Certainly, be aware of the Prayer Wall. There is nothing better for the times when we are feeling pretty low, but to turn outward…I mean…the things that are going on, they are going on but obsessing about them, it just doesn't help. It saps our energy, but ironically what does help is to turn outward and understand we’re not the only ones and to reach out in prayer for our brothers and sisters. So, the Prayer Wall is a wonderful place to do that. So, check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible in the mission that we collectively share to bring the spoken word of God to anyone who will listen to it, which is all of us, anywhere on this planet any time of day or night, if that brings life to you than thank you for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if that is your preference. is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good morning Daily Audio Bible community this is Diane Olive Brown from Newburgh Indiana shalom shalom it’s 6:44 in the morning central time on Tuesday, September 1, 2020 and I just listened to Brian’s commentary and this song came to me from a movie. Maybe you guys know it. And it goes…and so I’m gonna sing it. [singing starts] Words, words, words I’m so sick of words I hear words all day through from him now from you is that all you blighters can do? [singing stops] My point is I have repented. All my life, that’s the way I’ve been - I talk I talk and I talk and I never stop and I never stop and I used to just say everything that blurted out of my mouth. Well, I put my hands in front of my mouth now and I say forgive me Father for I have sinned against You. Instead of listening I thought I was speaking for You, but I wasn’t. I was blustering. I was full of pride and I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Holy Spirit, will You please teach me to have a gentle and a quiet spirit? I love You. My log is on the campfire…

Good morning daily audio Bible family it’s September 1st this is Angel in Maryland. I’m calling family for your prayers for my sister who lives in Louisiana. She…my family was affected by the hurricane in Louisiana and that was last Thursday, August 27th and that day she text me saying that she tested positive for Covid and it’s really hard when you’re going through a natural disaster, you don’t have comforts of life and she’s fighting for her life right now. She has…she is married she has two boys age five and age one and I would ask that you just keep her lifted. She’s…she’s been a fairly healthy person, eats very well, exercises but Covid has a way of being unpredictable. So, I ask that you just pray for my sister in Louisiana, that she will be healed. I do believe God is a healer. Thank you.

Father God, this is Donna in Pennsylvania. I just listened to a woman calling from her parking lot, she’s a nurse and is just dreading going to work and facing a second wave of Covid patients. She just can’t do it again. Her son is bipolar at home pacing and talking to himself for hours and she can’t help him. Lord, I had a stressful, busy, long day yesterday. I’ve got a…more of one today and not enough sleep last night. And I ask that You would lift us up, help us Lord, moment by moment to trust You because You promise to be there never to fail or forsake us. I ask Lord that You would help us commit this day to YAou, that Your will be done and that You will strengthen us, that we would be able to delight in You today Lord, that nothing could steal our joy in You, no circumstances and that we would remember to wait on You because we were never meant to carry these burdens along. You promised to be with us. Through the fire we will not be burned, through the water we will not be overwhelmed. You are with us moment by moment. Day by day I asked that You would hold us up, lift up this woman and help her and her son, all of those who are nurses and doctors, those facing possible eviction, those who are sick, those who are struggling, hungry and hopeless. O God help us. In Jesus’ name I trust, I wait, I commit, and delight in You today…

Hi DAB family it’s James here from the UK, been a very long time since I last called but I just ask for your prayers over my family. We’ve moved home and it’s been done during the lockdown period. Obviously, a very stressful for a lot of people but we’ve been truly blessed. I have found a new job, my wife also. But we’re struggling and we’re struggling because we are feeling a lack of…of place. We feel that the reason that God’s brought us here is very clear because of the health of my father, which is worsening. And many of you prayed sometime back because he had a…a really catastrophic stroke and he’s still hanging in there, but he needs more help. And, so, we’re back. We are near to mom and dad now which is really great. And God’s blessed us with a house that literally at the moment we’re renting a couple doors down from them. So, we are so thankful, but my wife is struggling. And she’s struggling with the fact that she feels really torn away from her friends, her family, her community. And we just ask for your prayers. I ask for your prayers in particular in her life, that she might find a way to make inroads with a relationship with my mom and find peace. Thank you, family.

Hello DAB this is Tim from Edinburgh in Scotland UK I’ve got a prayer support, praise report, and prayer request. My prayer support is my prayer in intercession for Michael. Michael your call was broadcast on Thursday and you were heading in for eye surgery and I pray for your continued healing, bodily and in soul and in spirit. Thursday was also the day that I started developing systems in my eye, like a curtain being drawn across. On Saturday the Scripture reading included 2 Corinthians 3:16 in DAB which was, “but whenever anyone turns to the Lord the veil is taken away.” On Saturday I was diagnosed with the detached retina. On Monday emergency surgery was carried out and Monday was also the day that Laura and an unnamed chap, their calls were broadcast again in intercession for Michael. My praise report is…is basically that I just carried along on the coattails of Michael and claimed a share in those prayers. Thank you, guys. The surgery seems to have gone very smoothly and I’m just in recovery phase now. And, so, my prayer request for the whole of DAB family is to pray for everyone and to pray for everyone that anyone specific for whom we pray, we can all share with that. And I know that this will resonate with Brian, that I pray with all those with eyesight issues, conditions, problems and I give all glory and praise and thanks to Jesus who kept me say throughout my procedure, stood there in the gap with me. I give thanks to Jesus and thanks to this wonderful community and this family. Thank you. Amen.

Hi this is Victoria Soldier just calling to pray for some of the DABbers. I wanted to pray for Michael who had lost his father and mother and going through a divorce and all of the challenges that he’s going through, that God would give him the victory. I also want to pray for Margo in Nigeria who’s stuck at the airport and trying to get back to Canada. I’m asking God bless her with a victory. I also want to pray for my…my sister I think her name is Abigail about the young…two young boys she’s in the hospital with a stroke and her mom dying of cancer. And I want to pray for those who have lost a loved one or anybody to coronavirus. I just want to give one victory. My son had been tested positive, but we went through the incubation period and God blessed us that we made it through. And just praying that God gives us the release…that we released as a nation from this and that we can continue to live as God wants us to in the freedom and that backed with a victory in being able to do the things that He wants us to do. Gracious Father I lift You up I praise Your name I ask You Lord to have Your way in the lives of the DABbers. Lord the sister even…even with that’s taking the test today Lord we pray that You give her the victory. We just pray that You touch those in the hospital. You touch those that lost their loved ones, the name that I could remember and the ones that I didn’t and let them know that I love them and that I’m…that…that…that they’re included in this prayer because __ You that none would perish. He wants You to have the victory and because You are a DABber You’re a DABber. And I want to let You know that God loves You. And the one who was praying for the one on her job and her husband’s a coal worker. Lord we just ask You to have Your way, Lord You heal and deliver…

[curemoonliite]

Premiere Nebula Fun Facts!

I was planning on writing a character profile for Io tonight, but since I’m feeling a little under the weather, I’ll just give you a few Premiere Nebula fun facts about each character. So, here goes!

Valka: Probably my oldest character ever, to the point where she’s almost more of an imaginary friend than a disposable character. Underneath her serious and deeply traumatized mentor-like nature, she has quite the snarky side, and often exchanges quips with her adoptive sister, Io. She was an Ixi (goat-like species) when I first came up with her on Neopets, so sometimes I imagine AUs of her as a satyr or werewolf (since her backstory mirrors a werewolf myth). The nickname Io gives her, Valvi, originally made a ton more sense when she was on Neo, because she married a certain Neopets sports player character with “vi” in his last name, so it was like a J.Lo thing. Now it’s just a play off how many athletes have similar-sounding nicknames AKA I liked the name too much.

Omega: She was originally conceived as an emotionless girl type, which I later repurposed into Koto. The beginnings of her current personality were sparked by me rereading Harry Potter and wanting to create a nervous hero who later becomes strong, like Neville Longbottom. She kinda took the main character position from Valka after that. Outside of sports, she’s great with all sorts of art, especially painting and jewelry-making. Has light brown hair with rainbow tips, which a ton of people think are lame, but she finds them really cool.

Xue: Basically the magical girl mom friend taken to its logical conclusion AKA the sort who uses empathic powers to pester you into fessing up your issues. Annoying at times, but also a great leader who helps Valka out a lot. Loves vintage, lace, and all things cute, while still being the most educated of the group (she’d probably paint her therapy office in wall-to-wall pastels). High physical strength, fairly low magical strength.

Xing: Xue’s sister, who was captured by the Firebrands many years before the story’s beginning. Also likes vintage fashion, but is more into the ‘80s and ‘90s scene than her sister. Was a local singer in the Square before capture, who specialized in disco and rock music. My image of her is based off black disco queens like Donna Summer, and I just know she listened to her stuff a ton as a kid. (She also really likes Motown—she even modeled her hairstyle off Diana Ross.) Basically, someone who seems stuck in the past, but really wants to change the future. High magical strength, weak constitution, gets sick a ton.

Koto: Her race was pretty uncertain after I changed her from a Neopet to a person, but someone I really value and who really values my ideas is Filipina, so I made Koto of that descent to honor her. Clones have fascinated me since I was a child, and a science fiction book I read about them had a clone who could play the piano even though his counterpart couldn’t—so I decided to make Koto learn to play violin in secret. She seems like dumb muscle, but Star Corporations realized the importance of educating her, so she’s quite smart. I often have writing discussions with my boyfriend, and since she hasn’t come in the story much yet, he often calls her “Shego” (since both are mook types with green themes). Since Koto is usually a rule-following type who mostly rebels when her friends are in danger, I jokingly call these situations “Captain America moments.”

Stelle: My favorite character to write tends to switch between her and Valka. Her color scheme (green+silver+black) is probably my favorite. She often switches between a comedic mood and a more depressive mood, which is seriously making me consider giving her ADHD or bipolar. Due to her whole “dark past as a brainwashed assassin” thing, she has “Bucky Barnes moments” to match Koto. (I swear, I didn’t watch any of the Marvel movies until their characters were finalized! It’s just a coincidence, albeit one that might draw Stucky shippers to my story.) Has always been 100% gay in my imaginings of her (it took Koto a little longer).

Io: By far, the most fun character to write. The teen character who curses a ton and secretly has plenty of hidden depths. Will probably be an indie movie director when she grows up. She’s actually the Manufacturer’s daughter, which I love because hero/villain’s daughter relationships are typically romantic rather than sisterly (like her and Valka). Watches a ton of old movies, as well as movies from our era. Would probably love/relate to all the “troubled relationship with father” characters, and I can especially see her liking Gamora and Todoroki in a modern AU. (Despite my lack of father issues, I have similar tastes in that regard.)

Kaine: Originally just a villain to be killed, is now a Chaotic Neutral turned Chaotic Good character. A lot of this change was based on a Precure season in which a chara’s dark clone was killed, which made me realize I really didn’t want this to happen to Kaine. Was also originally a Yandere, but was changed to just a flirty character who falls in love easily (because I’m not huge on that trope anymore). One of the rare sniper-type Actresses I have planned. A 30-something adult who never got out of her goth phase, and whose magical girl form is pure Gothic Lolita. (Hers is one of my faves for this exact reason.)

Phea: The newest Nebula gal—I’ve only had her in my head for a year or so. Most of her concept was based on my love for model-themed magical girls and the (actually useful) celebrity activist trope. Since she has long ombre teal hair and is a plus-size model, the plus-size modeling community on Tumblr gave me a ton of inspiration for her looks. Only goes by her stage name—even I don’t know what her real name is yet! Her Actress name, Nymphea, happens to be both a flower (water lily) and a Pokémon (the Japanese name for Sylveon); the former was intended and the later was a happy accident. She was Valka’s old college roommate, and the two were quite close (Phea personally fantasizes about an “oh my god, they were roommates” scenario with Valka, but hasn’t confessed yet.) Loves photography and dogs—the bigger and fluffier the better! (The “Phea has a huge dog” headcanon is a joke born from the fact that many celebrities have tiny ones—Phea, on the other hand, would have a Saint Bernard and still give her a cutesy celebrity dog name like Rosetta.)