#I am going to be alone in life

[rosesloveletters]

I’m hoping one day I’ll be lucky enough to feel secure in myself, knowing that I’m at peace with my quiet little life and not feeling like I’m meant to be going out drinking & partying instead of sitting at a coffee shop or lounging on the couch. I have zero desire to go out to bars. I don’t drink. I don’t party. It’s not even the kind of situation where you say “oh, I hate xyz” and then you get there and have a great time. I know that I would hate it and be angry with myself for going, but what I would be even more upset by is the act of putting myself out there and realizing that it isn’t meant for me. It isn’t that I’m doing what’s comfortable and not trying new things, it’s that I am content with the life I’m living and the things I do, I just wish I had others to share it with. No one seems to enjoy that kind of lifestyle so I suppose I’m on my own till further notice.

[skrunksthatwunk]

thinking about how eiji's a pole vaulter and how ash talks about eiji "flying" and how eiji's associated with bird imagery and how eiji's free (unlike ash) and how eiji comes in on a plane and leaves on a plane and how ash cannot fly, ash cannot be free, how nyc is ash's prison, and how ash is the leopard who dies climbing the mountain, unable to live at such elevation, how he was trying to reach the sky and be free but was always stuck to the earth, how he chose to die instead of climbing back down, how he chose to die where he could see the sky and hope and freedom almost like a bird with eiji's letter right in front of him rather than letting everything go wrong and ruin it once again, how eiji's a failed pole vaulter anyway, how a bad fall ruined his career and grounded him (physically and emotionally), how it took flying to america and meeting ash and needing to save him and skip for him to try flying again, how he landed hard and harsh and still the thought of that escape compelled ash to protect eiji at all costs because if he could fly that means something to him, even if he doesn't think he can fly, how eiji is the manifestation of his hope and how when he breaks and asks eiji to stay with him a while he folds himself over his legs and weighs him down and traps him and grounds him, how ash fights like hell to keep eiji alive not because he thinks he can be like him (hopeful, flying, innocent), but because he makes him forget the gravity of his situation, and so he can see eiji fly again. how he wants to see him escape. how eiji is a bird and ash is a wildcat and how ash never once saw eiji as prey. how eiji never saw ash as a predator. how it is eiji's naivete that first endears ash to him, how it is his freedom and flight and removal from darkness and his ability to leave that darkness that really roots eiji in ash's blood as something essential to him keeping on living in this hell of nyc. how it is that distance from the violence and that hope for the future that ash chooses to surround himself in as he dies. how ash dies in a dream because he feels more than anything that he can't fly like eiji, that he can never leave. how his violence is a part of him and will be forever, how it weighs him down. how he wants to enjoy the view from the mountainside rather than looking up from the ground below. as if they can both fly. as if he is with him up there and not grounded. eye-to-eye with what he can't have, seeing eiji's homeland: the sky. how he dies trying to reach the top because he couldn't take retreating and trying again. how ash, tired and tired and tired and convinced it will go on forever if he crawls back down the mountain, chooses to close his life deluged in eiji, in eiji's insistence that they can fly together, in eiji's hope for him and for them, in eiji's beautiful dream. how ash dies without trying to realize that dream. how ash, in dying, destroys it.

[knifearo]

everybody! quick! tell me what aro joy means to you <2

[satans-knitwear]

I need to pick out some outfits for the weekend but I don't even know where to start 🤔🎀

Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me

*adds cat ears* there. Done.

[jade-kyo]

The one plus side about being an RvB 1-13 truether is that if season 19 sucks literally nothing changes for me 🤡

[starry-bi-sky]

I'm so annoyed. @kingcrow01 tumblr ate your ask about Danny's opinion on the League. tumblr i pressed 'save draft' why didn't you sAVE DRAFT.

ANyways I'm making a post instead. For everyone else, the ask was in summary:

What was Danny's opinion on the League now that he's left it? If he missed the familiarity of it, if he recognized the cult-like behavior inside it, and if he now detested his grandfather.

And to answer (again, grrr): It's complicated! We love complicated <3. Yeah, Danny does miss the familiarity of the League, it was still his home for the first ten years of his life and he has a lot of memories there. Plenty of good along with the bad, and while he's less homesick than he was when he was 10, it still hits him like a truck at random intervals.

Sam, Tucker, and Jazz are great, and he likes the Drs. Fentons enough that he's contemplated murdering Vlad for his meddling, but if he wants to eat the same food his mother used to make him and Damian, he has to do it himself and he can't get the taste right. No one knows arabic so he speaks it to himself because he doesn't want to forget his mother tongue, and he has a few books too. Frankly? He genuinely misses training.

Getting to use Sam's gym helps with his restlessness, same with training with Maddie, but he has no one on or above his level to go against other than his mother. And he only sees her twice a year at most. He knows that he's getting stagnant and he fucking despises it like a bad itch he can't scratch.

He feels conflicted about missing the League, however, since by now he recognizes the flaws and what was wrong with it, and he recognizes that it was cult-like. But even that is kinda, hrm, complicated? If this was a fic I would be able to go better into depth about what he has and hasn't unlearned because cult deprogramming is hard and Danny's doing most of this on his own.

Sam, Tucker, and Jazz have helped with the more obvious stuff: like the ecofascism, the disregard for human life, his emotional constipation; the more obvious stuff that shows in his behavior and personality. But none of them are professionals nor do they actually know the full extent of what Danny's life in the League was like. They only have snapshots since Danyal is very tight lipped about it. So they can only help with what they see themselves through Danny's behavior or word of mouth.

But in summary: He sees, for the most part, what's wrong with the League and disagrees with some of the stuff they do now. But he's very conflicted, and trying to dissect his feelings on the League confuses him. His protests about it whenever Sam and Tucker joke about it have at this point become mostly empty (altho it still causes him some discomfort), and its an inside joke between them three.

As for Ra's? Despises him. If only because Ra's wanted him to kill his little brother -- thinking about his motives with the League confuses Danny, cognitive dissonance and stuff, -- a lot of his hatred stems from "He wanted me to fight my baby brother to the death. I destroyed my relationship with Damian because of him, I had to fake my death and leave my home, and I will never meet my father or see my brother again because of him. Fuck that guy."

[asofterepilogue]

It's hard to know how serious an event is and will turn out to be in the grand scheme of things while you're living it, but the president of France just officially refused to acknowledge the latest elections. And I don't want to call it a dictatorship because I'm aware it can be much worse, but it's also... not not a dictatorship.

It's very much one man (and his cronies) disregarding everything and everyone in order to maintain complete power over every single sphere of the government. And if it's not effectively a dictatorship, I do think it has all of the makings of one, and this might be one of the last tests before someone decides France is ripe for it.

[deoidesign]

.

[bagel-with-creamcheese]

I’m watching being human for the first time and I’m on the season one final “but there was this” ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! The supernatural is a metaphor for love actually.

[crownedwille]

.

[thevoid-isthe-onlyone-ican-trust]

Do you think my new roommate will think I am cool and popular? ʕ⁠～ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ～｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+*⁠.⁠✧

[knifearo]

seeing all those posts from ppl ab how miserable they are without a partner like sorry can't relate. i'm doing great and in fact i hope i die alone 🖤

[transmechanicus]

Obsessively repeating “I am not god” to myself as i donate $5 to another fundraiser and desperately hope that it makes a difference.

[poems-of-the-anentomologist]

suffocating 

I’m doing the dishes again

Staring into the water

At that boy

How can I call myself a girl when the face that stares back

Is just another random boy

You’d see playing on a subrban corner

My name isn’t my name

People don’t call me by my name

I’ve been cut off

From everyone

If I died tonight

Nobody would notice

Just another kid

Just another teen suicide

It’s better than the alternative

To suffocate in this form

Would be preferable

To living in a world where nobody sees me

It’s better than the alternative

[moeblob]

New OCs

(briefly, humans and supernatural beings have to team up for building better relations with each other and all the supernaturals can shapeshift and take on human appearances but also have their 'original form'.)

OK so I was GOING to draw fanart today - I had a fun idea and everything! But health anxiety (and anti-anxiety meds) wore me out so I kinda .... slogged through OCs as a treat to me. I am going to go to the doctor tomorrow so HOPEFULLY it's all okay.

[iguessitsjustme]

No because Sun does not understand what "no" means.

Ongsa said that she didn't want to do the scholarship program with her and Sun took it the worst possible way:

Then Ongsa was upset that Sun just outed not just their relationship but also that she is not straight to her parents, Sun was immediately defensive and made it about her:

But let's also look at not their literally just started relationship.

Sun decided that Aylin gets hugged because "that's what friends do" even though it's very clearly not what Aylin does.

When Ongsa was still "Earth" and Sun asked Earth to meet up she always said it was fine if he couldn't but would become bitter when Earth never showed up.

Sun is so lost in her own self that she should not be in any relationship. She needs to learn to be a partner and listen when her partner expresses a concern or a hurt. Sun doesn't get to decide that someone's reaction to her actions are more painful and worse. She doesn't get to unilaterally decide things about her relationships with people and be upset when people disagree. She loves Ongsa but she sure doesn't like her enough to actually learn anything about her. Like...oh I don't know...how comfortable Ongsa is with being out. Or anything about her relationship with her parents.

It is okay to be ready for different things at different times. It is not okay to decide someone else's readiness for them and be upset when they're not actually there yet.