I have NO idea what happened, I've been on Tumblr for a couple of months now, but it feels like within a few weeks I've suddenly begun to get reblogged and even followed back by some of those popular trans people on here that I've followed for months and have (in my little small-town girl brain) looked up to as sort of like "unachievable idols" and now suddenly some of them are my mutuals and we're having conversations in my DMs??? They're even saying nice stuff to me?? ME????
I know my silly little brain is putting WAY more meaning into it than it actually has, but I feel like the nerdy dorky girl who for some reason got invited to all of the cool, hot and popular kids's lunch table and honestly it's a bit terrifying (´-﹏-`;)
@anarqueeen @r0zeclawz @nine-milf @godless-of-the-hunt @whalesharkcat @catboybiologist @lilithtransrights
(just tagging all of these beautiful people to let them know how weird of a person I am and how I view them lmao)
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Is this what you call self-care?
Felix × Reader
notes: I am at the point where I feel like playing 72 hours of Stardew Valley is perfectly reasonable, so I hope u enjoy my first fanfic. Also, idk about you, but I feel like he would def enjoy some Zelda 😌… also, this isn't the longest fic out there, but it is a short story after all. Enjoy!☻
word count: 1,795
warning(s): light cursing
Just a chill day with Felix, while you’re trying to make progress with your uni work
It was a regular Saturday for you, waking up at 6 AM and feeling your boyfriend's arm around you. After you turn your alarm off, you turn to look at him, smiling. His long, blond hair fell into his angelic face. It is so hard to not say fuck it and stay in bed with Felix, but you—with the smallest of movements to not wake him—get out of bed, making your way to the bathroom to get ready. After you get yourself into some comfy stay-at-home-and-study clothes, you brew yourself a cup of coffee with some coconut milk.
You've been researching for your midterm paper for a while now. It wasn't the worst topic, but selecting what's important and what isn't is where you were hopeless.
After restarting it for the hundredth time, you heard movements from your bedroom. You peeked out of the study/gaming room to see Felix's tired face, which filled your heart with warmth. "Good morning, love. How did you sleep?" He looked back at you while he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. "I slept well until some gremlin left from next to me way too early this morning." A smile crept up his face, reaching out for your hand so he could pull you in for a hug. He kept you close with one hand, resting his face on your head while you hid in the crook of his neck. His sweet scent filling your nose. "How's your university work going?" you scrunch your face, not even wanting to think about the research and writing your essay. "Well, I read a lot, but I do not know where to begin or what things are the necessities to put into my paper." You felt yourself wanting to throw a tantrum like the 5-year-old who you are at heart. He kissed your forehead, then put his pinky out. "Okay, I have a trade offer; once you're halfway done, we can play on our farm together." Your eyes lit up. You've been pretty hooked on Stardew Valley for a while now, especially since the new update, and you got Felix to play with you on his days off. Sadly, they've been pretty busy with their comeback, so you couldn't hang out as much. He usually got home by the time you were asleep, and you went to class or to the library to learn before he woke up, since it was soon time for your final exams. You only have one year back from your university, and you don't want setbacks, so it is important to get a good grade. Your parents would be pleased as well since you flew to another city to learn specifically there, so you want to make them proud. You link your pinkies together to form an unbreakable promise. "Okay, but no distractions! If you want to play, please play in the living room; we both know I won't ever finish my assignment with you distracting me." He chuckles and nods his head in agreement. You happily made yourself another cup of coffee, then went back to the study to work on your task. You still cannot believe it that you somehow snagged such a perfect man: he is supportive, understands your concerns, and can always accept your compromises. He openly talks to you about how he feels and bravely tells you if something bothers or concerns him. You honestly can't believe these past couple years have been real.
You've made a bit of progress; it helped that you talked with your old dorm roommates—you moved in with Felix about half a year now; you two realized that it would be the easiest since you went over any given chance anyways. They gave some good suggestions. Once you caught up with each other, you four said your goodbyes, since all of you have a lot of work to get done by the end of this month. After some time, you smelled a sweet scent coming from the kitchen. The door opened before you could sneak out to have a peek. Felix brought in your favorite cookies; it was a mixture of his classic chocolate chip and your oatmeal cookies recipe. You two perfected it while he got some time off, and you didn't have school just yet. His brown eyes looked at you proudly behind the plate of cookies with milk in his other hand. "How's your progress, baby?" He bent down to give you a peck on the lips. You waited until he put the plate and the cup down, then patted the ground next to you, signaling for him to sit down. He didn't waste any seconds, and plopped right next to you, happy that he could sit beside his girlfriend. Felix didn't want to make you feel pressured; he just wants to spend as much time as possible with you before he has to go back to endless dance practice, content creation, etcetera. You both know he loves doing what he does, but it can get overwhelming sometimes. They got cussed out a lot for the smallest of things, getting bullied and going as far as getting death treats. He was grateful for being able to work his dream job, and he is also happy that you understand what this kind of life comes with.
Felix watched you type your thoughts out in your document and started to play with your hair, which made you relax instantly. You couldn't help but melt into his touch. You leaned onto his shoulder, feeling exhausted. "I am almost done with half of my assignment; I just need another page, but I feel like my brain cells are giving up on me." He chuckled, placing a kiss on your head. "You got this; I believe in you." He started giving kisses all around your face, which soothed your tired thoughts. Felix eventually kissed your lips; the kiss was sweet and made you feel like you're under the sun at the beginning of the spring. You reciprocated immediately, feeling as though time had stopped—no tasks, no school, no pressure—just you and him tangled together in a complete state of Nirvana. Before it could get heated, Lixie pulled away, holding you firmly, so he kept up his strenght to not distract you further. "Is it okay if I play Zelda while I lay in your lap?" You saw a hint of pink on his face, making you smile. "Well, I am close to finishing it, so why not? I don't think it can cause any harm." Felix got up excitedly to get his switch with his headphones. He laid down and got comfortable, then started playing his game. He has been quite into it lately. The game was beautiful, and there were a lot of things to do. The excitement in him got you into playing it, asking for his help in some harder situations.
When you got done with half of your paper, you looked down and saw a sleeping Felix with a gaming console on the ground next to him. He looked so peaceful like this: his pink lips parted, his eyelashes casting shadows on his face, and his freckles painting constellations onto his features. You can't help but start connecting the dots on his face with your fingers, making his eyes flutter as he awakens. "What are you doing, gorgeous?" You lean down to kiss him as a response. You feel like you're going to explode with all the feelings inside your chest. "I am done with half of my paper; I didn't want to wake you, sorry." You pout just a little, earning a smile as he reaches for your face to caress it. "That's my good girl. Are you ready for some farming time?" You nod, knowing that you're going to end up either playing until the sun gets up again or none at all and will end up cuddling in bed.
You two made some lunch and plopped down besides each other. Your desks have been set against one another, his PC taking up one desk while yours is cluttered by notes and books for your university courses; you just keep pushing it back each time you take your laptop out instead of organizing it. Felix tried to reason with you or help with that mess, but that's how you were, looking unorganized yet knowing exactly what is where, always on point. That's what your grades always reflect: perfect or almost perfect scores, even though you procrastinate until the last minute. He smiled to himself, knowing how he and the boys wished they had this superpower.
You put on your two's favorite chill playlist and booted up the game. We made a lot of progress, stopping to occasionally show physical affection for each other or taking a quick bathroom or snack break. I didn't even notice how the time flied until you looked down on your watch, seeing that it had passed five a.m. "Yongbok, we have a problem. Have you checked the time?" He has been so into the game that he almost looked up into the corner to see the in-game time, realizing that this might become a problem in the future. "Oh shit, I didn't notice when it got this late. I mean, I am going to be okay; I won't work for a couple of days now, but when do you need to send this assignment in?" he asked, knowing damn well that you have a habit of sending in your tasks with one minute left on the clock, giving him a scare. One time, Chan got to see your study progress and felt his soul leave his body. He still remembers how he and Han watched how their leader scolded you about your academics and your attitude towards your learning, painting a picture of an overworked father lecturing his rebellious daughter, who—no matter what she's doing—will always be his treasure. It never got said out loud, but you became the younger sister of the group, with all the older members looking out for your happiness and safety. And Felix isn't sure that if you two ever break up—which, let's face it, is highly unlikely—he wouldn't get the shorter stick and wouldn't get scolded.
Once you two saved and logged off for the day, got ready for bed, you snuggled close to each other leaving sweet kisses on one another, fighting the strong urge to sleep. When he heard your breathing change, he knew that you were fast asleep, what he waited for all along. It makes him happy and calm, knowing you are asleep. He pressed a light kiss on your forehead.
"Good night, my love," and with that, he dozed off to sleep as well.
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bread time..............
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Dropping my boy here
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“Do it, just do it.”
“Okay well stop moving around all over the place then will you?”
“Jen, wait, maybe-”
“Uh, guys, is there going to be blood?”
“What the hell? No of course there won’t be blood, shut up Joe.”
“No I’m just asking ‘cause like, my ma got mad the last time youse were over when one of you spilled blue powerade on the carpet so…”
“I said there’ll be no blood, relax.”
“Well I’m just saying that I might faint if I see blood, because this time at school before some lad in my base class threw a whiteboard eraser and it hit my face and my nose bled and then I blacked out in the boy’s bathroom and nobody found me for like ten minutes, even though, like, to me, like it felt like no time at all was after-”
“Oh my God, Joe, if you don’t shut the fuck up I’m going to stick this thing crooked.”
“Um, try not to, please.”
She grabs my chin and holds me still, “Then don’t move, and Joe,” She jabs a finger in his direction, “Not a word from you, I’m dead serious. Right,” Her tongue pokes out the corner of her mouth as she eyes my ear with determination. The ice she’s holding melts a trail down my neck and into the collar of my t-shirt and I don’t dare react. “Has that gone numb?”
“I dunno yet.”
“Probably has,” She tosses the cube into Joe’s sink with a metallic thunk and positions the needle on my lobe.
Shane pipes up from the table, “any blue powerades going, by the way?”
“Shut up!” I can feel her hand trembling, and the sewing needle rasps against my soft virgin skin. She exhales slowly, “Okay, one, two…” she hesitates and my eyes follow her movements nervously as she pushes her hair behind her ears and then leans for a closer look. She’s so close that her shaky breath feathers against my cheek. Take two. “Okay, okay, seriously this time. One, two…” I feel it. I hear it. And a grunt of disgust comes from the back of her throat as the needle pieces through my earlobe. “Oh, God,” There’s silence. My eyes screw shut as I wait for the pain.
“Does it hurt, Jude?” Joe sounds queasy.
“Why? Does it look like it should hurt?”
“I told you it doesn’t hurt,” Jen dismisses, “...but it’s fine, right?”
“I think so. It just feels kinda… hot?” I peel my eyes open.
“Yeah, well, you’re grand, now,” she reaches to the counter behind her, “stud or hoop?”
“Stud.”
“Okay well too bad they only had very girly looking studs in Claire’s Accessories, so I got hoops.”
“Why’d you offer, then?”
She dangles the little purple shiny packaging in front of my face to distract me, “Look at that, hm? Very cool, manly hoops.”
“Yeah, very manly.” and she fumbles around my ear for several moments trying to get it through the new hole in me, and that’s when it hurts the worst, as she’s tugging and poking and digging her sharp thumbnails in, but I pretend that it doesn’t because Shane and Joe are in the room and sixteen year old boys aren’t supposed to show things like pain and discomfort in front of each other, it’d be weird and socially unacceptable. Vulnerability is illegal among us.
If it were Jen and I alone in this caravan I’d at least be whining at her, if not actually tearing up about the discomfort of it all.
She closes the clasp at the back of the hoop and presents me to the room, “What do ye think?”
“A bit red,” says Joe as he clutches the rim of the sink with milk white knuckles “Is it meant to be that red? That’s not bleeding, is it? Ah Jesus, I don’t think we should have done this…” Shane glances away from the olympic basketball game on the TV and huffs out a laugh. “Gay ear,” he says.
Jen pauses, “Gay ear?”
“Yep, ‘tis the gay ear.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Obviously, like, you’re after piercing the right lobe; the one that you pierce when you want all the other fellas to know that you fancy them or whatever, like, I dunno. I just heard that some place. Shoulda pierced the left.”
I tug on it self consciously though it’s tender. “Where’d you hear that?”
“Lads on the football team probably, look,” He crosses his arms with authority, “I go to an all boys school. I know what the Gay Ear is.”
I look up at Jen and tell her that I don’t mind that it’s the Gay Ear.
“That’s for life though,” Joe pipes up unhelpfully, “You’ll always have that hole in your ear now, so even if you take the earring out everyone is gonna see that you have your right ear pierced and they’re all gonna think-”
“I don’t care if they think I’m gay. What does it matter?”
“Yeah but you’re not gay, and it’s the Gay Ear,” Shane argues, “That’s the point. You’ll end up confusing everyone, and men won’t know what to do when they see you out and about and all that.”
“That feels like kind of a backwards, 90s thing to say, honestly.”
“Nobody’s being homophobic, fuck sake. It’s just the code.”
“Well it’s pierced for life now, isn’t it? What the fuck do you want me to do?”
“Christ sake,” Jen seizes my shoulder and yanks me back into the seat, “Pass me that ice, Joe, I’ll just do the other side then and you can all shut up annoying me about it, alright?”
“Fucking Gay Ear, who comes up with that shite?” she mutters to herself, and pushes the mostly melted cube to my left lobe so we can start all over again.
~.~.~.~.~
Afterwards I squeeze into the tiny caravan bathroom to look at myself in the mirror. My ears are furious red, but at least the hoops are even. I think. Jen has given me table salt from Joe’s kitchen cabinet to wash them with, and I do it, I fill one hand with limey water from the taps and pour a random amount of salt in with it. I don’t know what I’m doing, but it's fine because if they get infected I'll just take them out. I’ve never seen another boy with both ears pierced, but that’s fine too, because I’ll just pretend it’s a trend from America that nobody else has heard of yet.
When I come out Jen turns away from the television screen to look at me.
“Looks okay,” she says.
“Yeah,” I catch sight of the clock behind her and realise that our ear piercing activities sliced only thirty minutes out of this long, empty July afternoon. “So, um, what now?”
“Any more bright ideas?”
I shrug, “I dunno. We could go play tennis?”
“Kids club is at the boat club until six and my sister is always hanging out with those inbred looking fellas at the one in the caravan park,” Shane says, “So no.”
“Joe, do you think your brother could go buy us cigarettes again? We could smoke up by the-”
“Nah man he’s working today.”
“Well the olympics are on so I suppose we could-”
“I couldn’t be bothered with sports,” says Jen, “nor do I want to sit here pretending to care. And now we’ve done all we were meant to do today and there’s nowhere else to hang out…” She looks at me for help as though I’m supposed to know how to keep three bored teenagers entertained through another endless summer day smack bang in the middle of a recession.
I sigh and throw my hands up in defeat, “Well… I dunno. Will we shave my head?”
Prev // Next
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Headache
me :') / I am not fluent in Russian.
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Northern Dawn - Prologue
The waters of time flowed through the cosmos, branching off into a thousand different directions, with a thousand different possibilities. Mighty rivers carved through their set paths, unable to escape their ancient way. The tiniest of streams could waive, but it would be inconsequential. Though, content.
Draped in golden wings, watching the flow of time, was the Great Chief of the Divines. It has always been, it will always be, his sacred duty. He must look after time, after these rivers. It was his fate, carved for him long before he could agree to it. He had been so blessed to have had a fate chosen by the gods.
One in particular was of interest to him. The waters of this time, of this family, were stained with the Dragon blood. It glowed in ribbons suspended in the water, dancing like the great auroras that arched through the sky over the land She would have to protect.
The glowing, golden blood was rather selective in who it chose to bless. Like the dragons themselves, it favored the firstborn more often. And it seemed only one or two in each branching generation would bear the curse, carry the blessing. The world had no need of it, of people with it. Until soon. Until now.
A delicate hand, made of ethereal light, crossed over the newest stream. The water and blood and light smeared into Aetherius. This child will be the last member of their family. The Goddess of Families and Fertility has chosen not to bless her so. Chosen to make sure that she had to be the last one.
“Mara.” He spoke, or what mortals would perceive as speaking. The Divine ways, the way they see the world, the words that leave them, can and is only truly known and understood by them. Still, his tone was even, if it contained a bit of sigh. Mara already knew how he felt.
“She must be the last of her kind.” Though Mara’s voice was typically kind and gentle, it was firm. She would not and did not undo her action. She was correct, after all.
The Nine gathered around the stream. They watched as the water and blood and light bore into a new soul, blessing Nirn with new life. The newborn baby cried, as they all do. Akatosh smiled, he couldn’t help it. Her parents named her, so proud of what they had created. It was bittersweet, they were doomed to leave her life, all too soon. Before she could even get to know them, before they could get to know her.
Arkay was saddened by this, feeling the same sympathy for the girl and her parents as he always did. But it was the way it had to be. He watched as her parents became sick, as he called to them, leading them away.
“Her name is her own to make.” Zenithar seemed to understand what the others were thinking and feeling. He glanced downstream, just a bit, to the moment everything will change.
Akatosh could not look away. The girl was sent to an orphanage, but ultimately ran away. She was more fortunate than most, to have had the opportunity to learn to read, write, and learn basic spells. The teenager, now a young woman, drifted. She went from city to city, place to place, forest to forest, just trying to get by.
He would have wanted a better life for her. For her parents. For her parents’ parents. For their entire bloodline. He knew as well as anyone that her suffering would shape and guide her, even if she would not always understand that.
“I wish she had told me.” The god whispered, not for the first time feeling his humanity conflict with his divinity.
Akatosh felt Mara soften, but he couldn’t care. She was usually unpleasant. “She didn’t know.” She spoke gently.
He restrained himself. He wanted to curl his claws in frustration, but the waters of time were bound to them. And his lack of divine control over his mortal emotions would cause needless mortal suffering. “It would have changed things.” Even the gods can lie.
Julianos, the fountain of advice that he is, spoke to Akatosh. “Go talk to him. He wants to see you.”
“She was mourning.” Stendarr spoke, distracted more by the living woman than the dead one. He was unhappy with many of the choices she was going to make, but still understanding. Still merciful.
Kynerath was neither understanding nor merciful. “She acted recklessly.”
“She acted blasphemously.” Nor was Mara.
Akatosh had to change the subject, lest his heart broke all over again. He watched as the woman came to a split in the river of her life. All possibilities sprawled out before her, a million directions she could take her life. Yet, further down, all streams lead into the ocean of her destiny. Mortal sympathy panged his divine heart. She could not escape it.
“We’re too shallow.” He said, trying to follow her possible lives. “This is not what we’re looking for.” He looked downstream, following the blinding light of her blood, of her destiny. But he was looking for the long, dark shadow it cast.
“The light blinds even us.” Talos felt that he, of all gods, was the only one who could ever understand what the woman would go through. Akatosh would have heartily disagreed, if either of them had voiced their opinions.
But he didn’t want to start that fight again. Instead, he said. “You are unhappy.”
“She wants to fight my empire.” Talos looked up at him, still acting much more human than the rest of them.
Akatosh understood that very well. Understood why Talos was upset. Although the light blinded him too, he still tried to peer closer. He finally saw what he was looking for. The dark shadow, casting its wings over the land. The light rising up to meet it. The two locked in battle, with uncertainty beyond that. The lights and streams of space and time fading and drying. None of the gods could see beyond that. Whatever would happen after that could only reveal itself if she could fulfill her destiny.
“She will have to fight.” Talos frowned. “All her life. No rest. No way to gather her strength. There is no being strong for war when all is war.”
“Are you not the god of war?” Dibella didn’t care nearly as much as her fellow gods. Instead, she was painting some lavenders, breathing violet life into the flowers.
“I am the god of warriors.” Talos sounded offended by what she said. Akatosh wished he still had eyes to roll. “She is blessed under those stars, my stars.”
“Guide her.” Arkay was also disinterested, still counting deaths, looking through lives. He glanced at her, wondering of her death. It would either be to the world eater, or after she defeated him. It was unknown, even to him. He looked back to the spirits.
“No.” Akatosh spoke before Talos could, not that he expected him to have agreed. “We cannot intervene. Her destiny was written long ago, in the scrolls.”
Julianos peered even closer. “She will be lonely.” He whispered. “A terrible thing for a mortal to be.”
Akatosh looked upstream as it flowed through Aetherius. He smiled. “No.” He whispered. “Look.” Each of the gods who cared peered closer, into the auroran light shining from the water, into the tiny lives of the mortals.
To see a body being pulled from the harsh, dangerous waters of a dark river. An exhausted man spotted her, the blood from the wound on her head having caught his eye. He ran over to her, grabbing her, trying to understand where she even came from. “General Tullius, sir!” He called. “There’s another body!”
“Leave it.” General Tullius didn’t look up from what he was doing. He tied the fabric around the other man’s head as tight as he could, making sure the knot was unbreakable. “We don’t have any more room on the cart for dead bodies.” He was distracted, focused on the man in front of him. He had to make sure he couldn’t use his Voice, or they could all suffer.
The first man frowned, laying the unconscious woman on the dry bank. He hoped the locals would at least give her a proper burial. To him, those who died without names were the saddest. He moved to leave her, but then he noticed the movement. Her chest was rising and falling. She was breathing. She was alive. “By the N-! Eight.” He cried out, catching himself, just in case. “Tull- uh- General! General Tullius, sir!”
“What is it now, Hadvar?” Tullius sighed.
“She’s alive!” Hadvar picked the woman up, carrying her in his arms. He brought her over to Tullius, who was still more focused on his captive. He lifted her just a bit, trying to show that she’s alive.
Tullius yanked Ulfric to his feet, but gestured in the vague direction of the last cart. “Put her in this one. We can figure it out in Helgen.”
Hadvar placed the woman on the inside, close to the driver. He was worried she’d fall out, still having not woken up. He was sure to keep his eyes on her, and not on the man sitting across from her. Hadvar couldn’t look at him. As Tullius’ bound and gagged prisoner was unceremoniously thrown in the same cart.
What none of them saw, truly saw, was the Great Dragon of Time, looking down upon them. He looked at the woman, feeling a sorrowful joy for her. She would suffer, there was no question in it, she would suffer. But it’s what she was chosen for. It’s her fate. She built for it, able to survive. Able to thrive. Still, he wished a better life for her. He wished the miracle of ordinary days for her.
“Know this.” He spoke gently to her. She would never hear him. She wouldn’t even think it to be a dream. His words would only be a fleeting feeling to her, at best. “You are loved. You are loved by your ancestors. You are loved by your family. You will always be loved. There are people you haven’t met yet who will love you, whom you will love.”
Her face shifted. She could hear him, after all. But only within the deepest parts of her draconic soul. The part that could understand draconic words in a draconic way. “Use this love.” He whispered to her, he wished he could hug her. “It is stronger than any sword, more powerful than any spell, louder than any shout.”
“You are the last Dragonborn. Your soul is that of a dragon, but your heart is that of a mortal. Wield your light, your love, and you will prevail.”
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i love reading crazy fics but if someone did that to me irl i would run away
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okay it's decided, i'm streaming bg3 friday night around 7:30-8:00 depending on when i get back from dinner with calvin's fam. so, uh, expect that, i guess. :')
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Tell me why the Mercedes Car Launch felt like divorced parents attending a parent-teacher conference?
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RM call girl in da housee
more fanart </3
@boxwinebaddie for you
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So I got my assignment this morning for @halfratsalready's Wanderrose exchange
And I absolutely love it
But all day I've just been thinking
"Don't fuck this up, you can easily fuck this up. You can work with the prompt, you know what it means. But don't fuck it up. Your overthinking it. You have to overthink it, otherwise you'll fuck it up!"
Anyway, Goodluck to all who signed up for it!
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So anyways I just posted the first chapter of my lestappen AU....
Erosion
Charles has measured his life in summers, life segmented into two time frames, Summer and Not Summer. There is life–Monaco, school, September through May–and then there is living–Italy, summer, premature birthday parties, and Max. He measures his life in the summers he spends on the Amalfi coast with Max, tolerating nine months of the year for the sweetness of three, until suddenly he doesn't.
Charles names every constellation he knows and Max points to them. Big Dipper, Little Dipper, Pegasus. He points out Virgo, their astrological sign.
“Happy Birthday, Max.” It’s not for weeks, but tonight was their birthday party, after all.
“Happy Birthday, Charles.”
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writing a fic that no one else has read yet always has me constantly shifting between 2 moods:
oh my god this is the best thing I’ve ever written I’m obsessed and can’t wait to share this I love it so much
and
oh my god this is terrible what if everyone hates it and the pacing sucks and the story is boring
There is no in between, and I switch between these moods literally by the minute sometimes
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Package got stolen.
Which honestly would be not-fine-but-kinda-okay-in-the-long-run except the package was stuff for the employees I need to onboard at work.
And now I just-
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