#I am not a package please stop shipping me

[sea-dukes-assistant]

Denise wants ur D

The fuck is wrong with you?

[bruh-changbin]

think pink

pairing: pink power ranger!hyunjin x afab reader

genre: smut, stupidity (minors dni)

warnings: oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), public sex kinda?, unprotected sex (be safe), creampie, tit sucking, alcohol consumption, very brief mention of female masturbation

word count: 8.2K

a/n: IM AT A CONCERT DRESSED AS SLUTTY LIGHTNING MCQUEEN RN WOOHOOOOOOO (this is a queued post). happy horny halloween mofos! very glad to be posting this fc bc i was supposed to post it last year and then just gave up LMAO so she's been a long time comin. pls give her some love i would really appreciate it!!! hope you all have/had a super safe sexy halloween!

october is overrated.

i mean sure, there is something undeniably cozy and heart-warming about crunchy leaves and pumpkin patches and all of the other shit that comes in the ‘fall aesthetic’ package. but the truth is that october is too windy, halloween is overhyped, and pumpkin spice tastes like ass.

and who wants to go to a halloween party where you can’t dress like a slut because of the wind chill? no one.

“you’re too negative.” jeongin sips his starbucks while keeping his eyes trained on the road, his left hand gripping the steering wheel of his beat up silver volkswagen jetta that he calls his baby, his pride and joy.

“i’m just telling it like it is,” you shift in the passenger seat to face him, “there is no need for so much hype around a mediocre holiday. what’s there to enjoy about getting violently drunk and stuffing your face with so much candy you feel sick?”

“listen y/n, i don’t know what your problem is but halloween is fun.” he appears to stop there, but then keeps going, “and i will not have your sour attitude ruin my favourite holiday.”

you just scoff and gaze out the window at all of the trees now bursting with shades of red, orange, yellow. 

as if sensing something was off from your previous conversation, jeongin breaks the silence “you’re still coming to jackson’s party though, right? i don’t wanna go alone…”

“you won’t be alone,” you counter, “seungmin will be there.”

jeongin groans, “but seungmin’s so boring at parties. all he does is complain about how bad alcohol tastes and try to talk to people about books and films. i don’t trust a bitch that says films instead of movies! they always think they’re better than everyone.”

“that’s not true, seungmin’s fun at parties!” albeit you do admit you’ve only been to one party with seungmin where he went buck wild and were later told that that is very uncharacteristic of him. 

jeongin’s expression turns sour, and you start to take pity on him.

“innie, i promised you i’d go to this party. when have i ever broken a promise? i’ll be there, alright?”

with that his face softens, and he goes back to his regular chatty self. 

“knowing jackson it’s gonna be even bigger and better than last year. and you know y/n, i’m pretty sure hyunjin’s going as well.”

your heart drops to your stomach at the mention of his name.

you try to act as nonchalant as possible, “why would i care if hyunjin’s there or not?”

“because you’re in love with him.”

“i am not in love with him.”

jeongin scoffs, “please, i see those googly eyes you make every time you see him - scratch that, everytime his name is mentioned. and you sucked his dick.”

“oh so the second you put a guys dick in your mouth you instantaneously fall in love with him?”

“okay fine! maybe you don’t love him but there’s something there, no denying it,” he pauses, and then adds, “and i for one think it’s something worth pursuing.”

leaning your face against the passenger side window, you sigh contemplatively, “that ship has sailed, my friend. at this point hyunjin probably doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“i don’t know y/n, he still seems a little…. hung up on you,” jeongin attempts to reason with you, “why don’t you try talking to him?”

“what the fuck would i even say to him? hey hyunjin, everytime i think of you i get really really wet. could you please bend me over the nearest hard surface and fuck me so hard i can’t walk for a week???!!!!”

“so vulgar and for what.”

you roll your eyes, “shut up jeongin. if you want me to get with him so badly, maybe… i don’t know, help?” 

“no way. you two are adults, you can sort it out yourself.”

“gee, what would i do without you and your incessant outpour of advice jeongin?” you tease, since jeongin is inherently quite awful at offering meaningful advice. 

“i give good advice!!! you just never take it,” your best friend scowls as he drives through campus, pulling into a parking lot located in the midst of all of your school's buildings. 

“sure innie, whatever makes you feel better,” you grab your tote bag off of the floor of the passenger seat and step out of jeongin’s car. as soon as you’re outside a brisk gust of wind engulfs you, the chill making its way through your sweater and making you shudder; you should’ve worn a thicker jacket.

jeongin does the same as you, slamming the driver door shut before grabbing his own stuff from the backseat.

“i’ll see you in a couple hours, kay? text me when your class is done,” he states before heading off towards to library, his broad shoulders protected from the frigid fall weather with a thick wool sweater and a puffy black scarf. the heels of his boots scuff the pavement as he trudges away, pulling out his headphones as he prepares for a couple hours of studying.

you make out in the opposite direction of your friend, heading towards the building where your lecture hall is located. all around you students are dressed in jackets and thick sweaters, scarves donning their necks and leg warmers wrapped around their ankles. the grey sky makes everything appear dull, spare for the bright coloured leaves that have been blown off the trees and crunch under the weight of your boots when you step on them. 

soon you make it to your lecture hall, revelling in the warmth of being inside as you slowly close the doors behind you and making your way over to your (un)official seat. ever since the amount of people attending lecture every week started to decrease, you staked your claim on a seat in your favourite section of the room and refuse to sit elsewhere.

after a couple minutes of waiting your prof begins class, delving into lecture without a hitch as you attempt to scribble down notes. however, just as you’re about to get into the meat of today's class, your focus is broken when a late-comer yanks open the doors to the room with full force.

in walks hwang hyunjin, and a small part of you dies inside. 

as the metal door swings shut behind him with a dramatic bang! you lock eyes with him just for a second before his gaze is averted to your professor who he gives a small, apologetic smile to. 

in your head you’re screaming don’t you fucking dare hwang hyunjin as he walks closer and closer and closer to where you’re sitting in the sparsely populated lecture hall. you roll your eyes so hard your head hurts when hyunjin chooses the seat almost directly in front of you (just a little off to the side so it looks like it was a total accident - fuck you hwang).

of course you knew that hyunjin was in this class as well, but he’s usually on time and usually sits far away from you, at the back of the lecture hall. today he just feels like being an asshole, i guess. 

hyunjin’s weird. he’s weird because he had the hots for you during the sweltering summer months, when jeongin rented a beachside airbnb for a week and invited all of his close friends - including you and hyunjin. he’s weird because he always applied sunscreen on your back and helped you cut up watermelon and sat beside you during bonfires. he’s weird because when everyone else left to go to the pier he encouraged you to stay back and yanked on your hair while you sucked his dick, bit your bottom lip with his front teeth, and fucked you so hard you saw stars. 

he’s weird because he now pretends that the two of you have no history and fucks with you on purpose by shooting you flirty looks when he sees you at get togethers or on campus but does nothing more than that. he knows that you think about him, but does he think about you too?

staring at the back of his ebony-haired head, you can’t shake the image of hyunjin on top of you, his puffy bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he fucked you into his mattress, out of your head. the needy whines and groans he emitted when his cock was down your throat are ringing in your ears; you cross your legs under your desk in a pathetic attempt to ease the ache you feel in your cunt that you hate yourself for. come on brain, we cannot be horny during lecture! focus!!!

the next few hours drag on and on and on as you force yourself to keep your vision trained on either your notebook or your prof, resisting the urge to allow yourself to gaze upon the man who occupies your thoughts almost 24/7 (which is so not feminist of you btw). 

ergo, when your prof finishes lecture 20 minutes early, you heave a sigh of relief. great, now you can gtfo and go finger yourself in the bathroom before getting jeongin to drive you home. but of course, a certain someone decides to ruin your plans by turning around and leaning against your desk, his dark chocolate eyes staring down at you mischievously. 

“are you coming to jackson’s party?”

is he talking to you? 

“are you talking to me?”

hyunjin looks around while the few other students surrounding the two of you scramble to pack their bags, “i mean, who else would i be talking to.”

“i don’t know,” you shrug, “anyone but me i guess.”

god this is so awkward. gag me with a spoon.

“you didn’t answer my question.”

“hmm?” you pretend to busy yourself with the task of shoving your pencil case into your near empty school bag.

“jackson’s party? you coming? jeongin said you were.”

of course he fucking did. because jeongin just loves stirring the pot.

“oh, uh yeah. i’ll be there.”

“what are you going to dress up as?” hyunjin clearly does not see how much you want to end this conversation - or maybe he does, and he just likes seeing you squirm. bitch.

“i don’t know yet.”

“the party’s tomorrow… and you still don’t know what you’re gonna be?”

“nope.”

“oh.”

hyunjin’s lips curl into a subtle smirk and you know he’s just dying for you to ask him the same thing, so you do.

“what are you dressing up as, hwang?”

his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek as he swings his backpack over one shoulder, “i guess you’ll just have to find out.”

and with that, he leaves you alone in the lecture hall with your professor, your half-packed bag, and your soaked panties.

.･:*◢▅◣Ξ◥▅◤Ξ ҉ ◢▅◣Ξ ҉ ◥▅◤☾*:･˙

back in jeongin’s jetta as he gives you a ride home, you complain about hyunjin.

“he’s fucking with me on purpose, i just know it. god! he’s such a…. just like a little…. WEASEL! he’s a fucking weasel.”

“come on y/n, he’s not that bad,” jeongin sticks up for hyunjin, who is also his friend, mind you.

all you do is wave him off, “you don’t know how it feels to be played by a man that beautiful, innie.” 

jeongin throws in the towel, and the two of you drive along the paved roads of your town in silence. as you continue to move along you soon find 

“that forest still gives me the creeps.”

”come on, you seriously still don’t believe in all of that ‘lost john’ bullshit, do you?”

lost john’s forest is somewhat of a fable in your town; folklore, if you will. for ages people have been passing around this story about how a tourist named john who was exploring the town wandered into that forest one day to never be seen again. there are some variations, of course. some people say that they’ve seen john out and about, or that john was actually a cult leader and if you go into the woods you’re bound to get sacrificed. no one knows if john actually ever existed, or if the story is just all horseshit used as a cautionary tale to keep kids out of the forest at night.

doesn’t make it any less creepy though.

you huff as you stare at the endless sea of trees you’re driving past, “it’s not that i actually believe in it, it’s just that those stories come from somewhere, you know?”

jeongin doesn’t seem to understand the point you’re trying to get across, “...so?”

“so there’s gotta be at least some truth to them, right? or else where did they come from?”

“i don’t know y/n, i think it’s all made up to scare kids.” 

the two of you sit in silence for a moment as you pass the last stretch of lost john’s forest before being surrounded by houses, apartment complexes and coffee shops once again. 

“hey, do you know what costume hyunjin’s wearing to the party?” 

as soon as the question passes your lips you regret it, and your regret increases tenfold when a devilish smirk makes its way onto jeongins face.

“oh! i thought you’d gotten over hyunjin, but here you are asking what he’s dressing up as for halloween. interesting!” 

“oh my god jeongin shut the fuck up!! it’s not like that, he was just being a twat when i asked him about it in lecture today,” you huff in annoyance over your friends antics. and for the record you’ve never said that you were over hyunjin, just that you aren’t in love with him. 

“sure y/n, whatever you need to tell yourself,” jeongin laughs, clearly thinking that he’s won this little scuffle, “you need to figure out a costume though.”

“ugh i know.” you scratch your head tentatively, “what are you going as?”

“a banana”

you can’t help the chuckle that escapes your lips. is he for real?

“what’s so funny?” jeongin questions, his brow quirked. 

“really? a fucking banana?”

“what’s wrong with that?”

“it’s a dumb costume, that’s what’s wrong.”

“it’s not dumb y/n, you just have no taste.”

“oh i have plenty of taste - that’s how i can tell your costume is bad.”

“it’s not bad it’s just- why are you being such a bitch right now?”

“did you just call me a bitch??!”

“yes i did because you’re being one!!”

“okay well SORRY for telling you that your costume is STUPID!!!”

“oh yeah? well in that case good luck finding a way to jackson’s party because I’M NOT TAKING YOU ANYMORE!!!”

“FINE!”

“FINE!!”

“FUCK YOU JEONGIN!!”

“FUCK YOU Y/N!!!!!”

in a fit of blind rage you grab your bag and shove you way out of jeongin’s car, a gust of wind ruffling your clothes as he speeds off as soon as you slam the door behind you. he is totally in the wrong here. you were just being a good friend, looking out for him by telling him that he’s setting himself up to look like a total idiot.

a squeal sounds behind you as jeongin floors it away from your house, the smell of burning rubber lingering around where his car was moments ago. what an aquarius you think to yourself as you head into your house, tossing your bag to the floor with a thump as soon as you’re inside. whatever, fuck jeongin! you’ll show him that you can have fun without him.

.･:*◢▅◣Ξ◥▅◤Ξ ҉ ◢▅◣Ξ ҉ ◥▅◤☾*:･˙

“okay, what about this one?”

seungmin is in your bedroom for the first time ever. 

which is weird, since the two of you have been friends for some time now. but hey, he’s here now eating chocolate covered pretzels while perched on the corner of your bed helping you pick out a costume for jackson’s halloween party.

“it’s cute.”

“... just cute? anything else?”

“i don’t know, you look… nice?”

you heave a sigh of frustration, “you know seungmin you really suck at this.”

he raises his hands in defence, “sorry! i’ve never done this before, you’re my only female friend.”

“yea yea whatever,” you command him to stop speaking with a wave of your hand, eyes flitting back and forth between the two costume options you’ve spread out on your floor and the one currently donning your body.

“so the final contenders are olive from easy a, slutty michael myers, and…” you look down at your legs, which are clad in the same black latex stockings you wore for halloween last year, “a sexy nun.”

seungmin shakes his head, “don’t do the last one, that’s blasphemous.”

“okay… sexy nun is out. i’m thinking easy a, you?”

seungmin ponders for a moment, his eyes squinted as he gazes at both the easy a and slutty mike myers costumes splayed across your carpeted floor. 

“i second that, your boobs will look killer in a corset,” he eventually attests before shoving a couple more chocolate covered pretzels in his mouth. 

you playfully smack his shoulder, “see min! you are good at choosing outfits.”

he just smirks in response before dusting the pretzel crumbs on his fingers off on his pants. with your arms full of discarded garments you head over to your closet, putting the clothing items of the unchosen costumes back in their place.

“hey can i ask you a question?” seungmin quips from your bed, where he’s now made himself comfortable by lying down and scrolling through twitter. 

“shoot,” you say while hanging up your navy blue jumpsuit.

seungmin pauses his scrolling to ask, “how come you didn’t ask jeongin to help you with this? i mean, not that i don’t like helping you or anything, but you guys are like always together.”

ugh. jeongin. just hearing his name makes you 

“we got into an argument,” you explain, opting to foresee the fact that said argument was over a fucking halloween costume, “he’s being petty, and i don’t want anything to do with him at the moment. and he keeps getting ”

seungmins brows raise momentarily before he responds, “it seems to me that both of you are being petty. also what happened with hyunjin?”

shit. you totally forgot seungmin isn’t caught up on everything that’s gone down. it’s his fault in all honesty, always opting to stay home instead of hanging out. 

“uhhh it’s nothing,” you decide now isn’t the best time to get into everything, “but hey, you’re supposed to be on my side here!”

“i am!!! but why don’t we forget about your drama and watch….. coraline. capisce?”

coraline does sound nice, so you tug on your pyjama pants and join seungmin on your bed to indulge in a fitting movie. 

.･:*◢▅◣Ξ◥▅◤Ξ ҉ ◢▅◣Ξ ҉ ◥▅◤☾*:･˙

today is halloween.

today is halloween and you’re dreading it.

seungmin slept over last night and the two of you have been lounging around all day in preparation for tonight, which you are not looking forward to, what with both hyunjin and jeongin being there.

neither you nor jeongin have reached out to the other, both too stupid to be the first one to text the other and apologise. whatever, he’s the one who was up your ass about coming to this party, you’re gonna prove that you don’t have to follow him around like a lost dog at every function.

when it comes time to get ready you blast deftones and the twilight soundtrack (much to seungmins dismay) while painting your face. when it comes time to get into your outfit you recruit seungmin to help, making him stand behind you and yank the ties on your lacy black corset. with each tug you can feel the boning hug your ribs and stomach tighter and tighter before the mere action of breathing is uncomfortable.

it’s just for a couple hours you remind yourself while pulling on your black mini skirt and grabbing a pair of black sunnies from your vanity. the glossy scarlet red ‘a’ that you hand stitched onto the left breast of your corset last night glints in the mirror as you examine yourself, perfectly content with the costume you managed to pull off in less than 24 hours.

“holy shit, how can you breathe in that thing?” seungmin says as he stares at you from the same place on your bed, seemingly taken aback by the resilience of your rib cage.

“it’s for fashion, min! this halloween is all about reprisal, and i wanna look damn good while doing it.”

“okay shakespeare,” he jests before grabbing his costume from where it’s laying on the floor. it takes him a mere minute to throw on his outfit, and you envy him for it.

once you’re finally sure that you’re ready you toss a few tequila shots back in your kitchen as seungmin watches, stating he doesn’t wanna get fucked up tonight (when does he ever) but relents when you ask him to do at least one shot to keep him warm on the walk over to jackson’s.

the bite of the night autumn air has you questioning if you even want to go when you step out onto your porch, the leather jacket you borrowed from seungmin hanging from your shivering shoulders. no, you can’t back down now. with a skip in your step you all but drag seungmin off of your porch, those tequila shots slowly but surely making their way through your system.

by now many of the trick or treaters that lined the streets earlier in the evening have retired to bed, leaving the rest of the holiday to be celebrated by the mature population. so, the roads are mainly empty as you walk down them, the pavement damp and shiny.

when you arrive at jackson’s place you take pity on his neighbours, for the music is so loud it seems as if it might trigger a small earthquake. a few scattered groups of people are on the lawn but most are inside, and you can see the party raging through the front windows. seungmin doesn’t say anything, just shoots you a knowing look before the two of you make your way inside.

immediately upon entering you’re almost ploughed over by a guy in one of those blow up t-rex costumes, who barely spares a look at you before running away and continuing to wreak havoc.

“i don’t think I’m drunk enough for this min, we should just go,” you turn to leave but to your surprise are stopped by seungmin.

“come on y/n, we’re already here. let’s just stay for a bit, ok?” he reasons, and you relent with a dramatic sigh.

out of the corner of your eye you catch of glimpse of someone waving to you; actually, waving to seungmin, motioning him to head over there. you see 3 guys, one in a red power ranger suit, another in a green and yet another in a pink. the puzzle in your brain slowly pieces together as you glance down at seungmins blue power ranger suit.

don’t tell me….

the 3 guys pull off their masks at the same time, and you’re met with the grinning faces of jeongin (red), hyunjin (pink), and their friend jisung (green). and just to add more salt on the wound, a boy name felix whom you’ve meet a handful of times shows up with his friends dressed in a yellow ranger suit. stupid! you should’ve know seungmin was a part of a group costume, who would dress up as a solo power ranger?

“why didn’t you tell me that you were doing a stupid group costume with jeongin and hyunjin!” you sock seungmin in the shoulder.

“i didn’t think it mattered!” he whines while rubbing the spot where you punched him.

“well it does, because now we have to spend the whole night with them,” you whine, although what you said isn’t necessarily true. you’re just salty because seungmin is supposed to be on your side in this whole debacle, and because jeongin decided to change his costume after your quarrel in his car the other day.

much to your dismay, seungmin wraps his bony fingers around your wrist and drags you towards the group of his friends, towards your doom. as soon and jeongin realizes you’re headed this way he departs, running up the stairs like the coward he is.

“seungmin! you made it!” jisung exclaims, clearly already a couple drinks in and clearly unable to sense the tension between you and everyone else.

“haha, yep!” seungmin answers sheepishly as you wrench your wrist free from his grasp. traitor!

you sulk as you listen to felix, seungmin and jisung talk about god knows what, probably video games or baseball or something stupid. it doesn’t help that you can overhear parts of hyunjins conversation with the girl that felix brought. thankfully, you’re blessed with the gift of being able to tune everything out if you so chose, so you stand there in silence and dream about going home.

it isn’t long until you can sense a looming presence beside you, and you snap out of your stupor to see hyunjin standing only a few feet away from you. the way his eyes scan the expanse of your body doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

“so,” he starts, arms widespread in a clear gesture to his costume, “what do you think?”

“geez, and people say girls dress like sluts. you know i can see your whole dick print, right?” you taunt,

“nothing you haven’t seen before,” he sneers while his eyes scan the length of your body, hyper focusing on the red ‘a’ sewn into your corset, “what…. what are you?”

how uncultured!

“olive from easy a. you know, emma stone’s character?” you state matter of factly, arms folded across your chest.

“never seen it.”

“really?” you ask, genuinely shocked since hyunjin seems to love fun cult classics. and because he’s friends with seungmin, who's seen about every movie under the sun.

“really,” he reaches over and picks up his drink from where he left it on the counter, “off topic, but a couple people about to play truth or dare in one of the bedrooms upstairs, you should come. or don’t, i don’t care.”

and with that the boy dressed as the pink ranger turns on his heel and walks away, patting whoever was dressed in the yellow ranger costume on the back as a signal to hit the road.

truth or dare? for real? didn’t realise this was a high school party.

you make your way over to seungmin, who’s busy playing with the pop tab attached to the lid of his mikes hard lemonade. it’s clear he doesn’t really plan on talking to anyone else all night, and is only here because you dragged him and he had a duty to fulfil as a result of being part of a group costume.

“they’re about to play truth or dare upstairs min, can you believe that?” you scoff, feeling your cheeks warm up as a result of the alcohol you’ve consumed.

seungmin makes a noise of agreeance, his lip quirking upwards as he responds, “for real? that game is just so…. childish.”

both of you nod before looking at the floor, you drawing small circles with your feet and seungmin playing with his pop tab again.

“but it is kinda fun, you know?” seungmin speaks up first.

“no you’re right,” silence again, and then you add, “should we go join?”

all seungmin does is nod and pass you your drink before the two of you make your way upstairs, opening to the door to a bathroom and accidentally interrupting some kind of fuck session before finding the correct bedroom and slinking inside.

.･:*◢▅◣Ξ◥▅◤Ξ ҉ ◢▅◣Ξ ҉ ◥▅◤☾*:･˙

a messy circle of people meets you when you enter, with everyone sitting on the floor or bed or chairs that were definitely stolen from the dining room. there aren't a ton of people, maybe 13 or so, but you seem to know everyone at least to a certain extent.

“nice costume, y/n,” jeongin practically emerges form the shadows to sneer at you, his voice laced with poison.

“thanks jeongin, it is a nice costume. what happened to you going as a banana? did you heed my advice and finally realise it was a stupid idea?”

all he does is scoff at this, choosing not to retort for the sake of looking like the bigger person.

“jeez, you guys are really pissed at each other, huh?” seungmin remarks while grabbing your wrist and dragging you away from jeongin in case you were about to reach up and slap him.

you don’t respond, but the sour look on your face says it all.

“alright guys, let’s get this started!” hyunjin announces to the room full of people, and all of the individual chatter dies down, “the game is truth or dare, as you all know, but we wanted to make it extra frightening for halloween. jeongin?”

jeongin stalks over to hyunjin, and you’re worried for what he has planned.

“if you do not fulfil your truth or dare, you will face a penalty. that penalty is doing a shot,” he takes a breath, “and showing the entire circle the last nude you sent.”

chaos. everyone erupts in anger at jeongin’s sick idea of a punishment.

“come on jeongin, that is so over the top,” one of the other girls in the room, chaeryeong, shouts above everyone else.

all jeongin does is raise his arms in a shrug, clearly loving playing the villain. ugh, you’re so over him.

“rules are rules you guys! we want to make sure people are following through on their dares! or truths, of course.”

he does have a point there, but still, his rules are a bit excessive.

the room quiets down and a few people decide to get up and leave, opting to not take the risk of exposing themselves if they get stuck with a particularly damning truth or dare.

“great, lets get this show on the road then,” jeongin acts as the ringleader and gets everyone settled, “who wants to go first?”

“me! i wanna go!” jeongins friend felix, the yellow ranger, throws his hand in the air.

“ok felix, truth or dare?”

the rest of the party can be heard as the room falls silent to let felix think, allowing him time to ponder since he was the first to volunteer.

“i’ll go dare,” he finally announces, and a chorus of ooooo’s sound as everyone waits to hear what felix has in store for him.

“i dare you,” jeongin ponders, trying to come up with something juicy and exciting, “to give us your best strip tease!”

everyone shrieks and felix hangs his head in embarrassment before standing up, clearly not backing down from the challenge. someone turns on pony by ginuwine and everyone shrieks even louder as felix starts doing his best strip tease, filled with body rolls and thigh grabbing as he peels the top part of his yellow power ranger costume off, exposing his defined abs and smooth back in the process.

after a couple minutes everyone agrees that he’s done enough and he pulls his costume back one before plopping back down in his seat, his cheeks and ears a bright cherry red. nevertheless, a triumphant smile is plastered on his face as everyone cheers for him having successfully completed the first dare.

the game continues without a hitch; chaeryeong confesses that her first wet dream was about hiccup from how to train your dragon, seungmin has to do a blowjob shot from between felix’s legs (you almost thought he was going to accept the penalty), and you find out that the weirdest place jisung has had sex was in a mcdonald’s bathroom.

suddenly jeongin locks eyes with you and you, knowing that he’s probably had one too many drinks at this point, feel a sense of dread settle in the pit of your stomach.

“y/n! your turn, truth or dare.”

you know that whatever you choose it’s gonna be bad, so you opt to bite the bullet and just go for it.

“uhhhhhh ok, dare.”

in that moment it looks as if jeongin has quite literally embodied the devil himself and you know that you’ve chosen wrong. all you can do is brace yourself for whatever dare he’s about to challenge you to - which you’ll have to fulfill for the sake of not looking like a loser.

“i dare you,” he smiles, “to spend 10 minutes exploring lost john’s forest.”

the room goes silent.

no fucking way. does he want you to die???!!

seungmin comes to your rescue, “come on jeongin, that's a little too intense for a game, don’t you think?”

“a dare is a dare! if y/n doesn’t want to do it she’ll just have to face the penalty instead.”

everyone continues to look around the room tentatively, waiting to see what happens next. most gazes are fixed on you, eyes with with worry and excitement, but some stare at jeongin.

“come on, do you guys seriously still believe in all of those bullshit urban legends? that stuff is just for kids, we’re all adults now!” jeongin speaks up and sips his beer as if to further prove his point.

“regardless of if those rumours are true or not, don’t you think it’s unsafe for y/n to be out in a forest this late at night? you know, alone?” this comes from hyunjin, and you’re surprised he’s sticking up for you.

only after hyunjin’s comment do you see jeongin’s tough guy facade start to waver, but he holds his ground, “y/n’s a big girl, she can speak for herself.”

suddenly everyone’s gaze is on you. dear god, why on earth did you come to this party??

“you know what, fine. fiiiine!!!! i’ll do it,” you declare as you stand up, adjusting your skirt that had shifted in place while you were seated. jeongin’s face deadpans, and that alone is enough to give you the courage

“wait, how will we know if she actually goes to lost john’s forest though? what if she just waits outside and then comes back in 10 minutes later?” jisung quips, and you’re tempted to reach out and slap him across the face. bitch.

“that’s a good point,” jeongin pauses to think, “ok fine, someone should go with her to make sur-”

“i’ll go,” hyunjin volunteers before standing up a little too quickly, which is evident in the way he wobbles slightly before catching his balance.

jeongin’s eyes nearly pop out of his skull at this; it’s clear he wants you to have the worst night ever, meaning being alone in a forest with a guy you have the hots for is strictly off the table “wait no, someone else should go.”

“why? i’m fully capable of escorting y/n to and from lost john’s to make sure nothing bad happens. besides, does anyone else want to volunteer as an escort?” hyunjin retorts before waiting expectantly.

the circle of people sit there, unmoving. after a few seconds seungmin slowly moves to raise his hand but a dirty scowl from hyunjin makes him freeze.

“right then, it’s settled. let’s go y/n” he states while grabbing your wrist and dragging you to the door of the bedroom you’re in.

you look back at jeongin over your shoulder, who clearly isn’t pleased. all you do is shoot him a cheeky half smile before following hyunjin out the room, down the stairs and into the night.

.･:*◢▅◣Ξ◥▅◤Ξ ҉ ◢▅◣Ξ ҉ ◥▅◤☾*:･

standing at the edge of lost johns forest, you think you might pass out.

but you neglect to tell hyunjin that.

“you ready?” he asks while shooting you a comforting look, his words have no trace of teasing or mockery.

you look at the vast expanse of trees in front you. it looks as if it stretches on forever and ever, and you gulp as you think of all the possible things that could be inside, waiting for you and hyunjin to enter before striking.

that being said, you’d rather do this with him than do it alone.

“let’s just get this over with. the sooner we’re done here the sooner we’ll get back and I can strangle jeongin.”

hyunjin laughs before offering you his hand, which you take and pray that he doesn’t care about how shaky you are.

making sure to take note of the time on your phone you head into the forest, feeling twigs and leaves snap and crunch under your feet. the exposed skin on your legs stings as a cold gust of wind blows, the trees offering minimal protection.

“you know if you ignore all of the creepy stories about this place, it’s actually quite nice. so quiet…” hyunjin aloud.

“if you’re trying to make me feel better, it’s not working.”

a branch snaps, an owl hoots, you exhale shakily. it’s dark, but the scarcity of leaves still attached to their trees allows for just enough moonlight to seep through the spindly branches. soon enough, the two of you stumble upon a small-ish clearing, opting to stay there as opposed to trekking further and getting lost.

“jesus I hate this, how long has it been?” you ask hyunjin while rubbing your arms in an attempt to wake them up.

“it’s been…. 2 minutes.”

that’s it. this is the worst experience of your life. you are actually going to kill jeongin.

“come on y/n, it’s not that bad in here. at least you have me!” hyunjin tries to comfort you, but you can tell that he’s nervous just like you are.

“please, as if you’d be able to protect me from anything,” you tease, but when hyunjin doesn’t bite back you worry that you’ve struck a nerve, “i am glad you’re here with me, though.”

“i would’ve volunteered to go with anyone, honestly.”

“really?”

“...no.”

a small smile creeps it’s way onto your face at this, and not matter how hard you try you can’t wipe it off.

“sooo you volunteered to go with me because…?”

“because i have…… feelings….” he looks at you, and then looks at the ground, “for you….”

the word that comes to mind upon hearing hyunjins confession is satisfying. satisfying because you’ve known that he’s had feelings for you since the summer, he’s just a shithead. so, you feel satisfied.

“and i know it’s probably unfair for me to say this but i can’t stop thinking about you and i know that this is also the absolute worst place to confess but-“

he doesn’t say anything after that.

he doesn’t say anything because you press your pout against his, breathing in his scent as he kisses you back.

no words need to be exchanged as you briefly pull away before going in for more, hyunjins lips your absolute favourite drug that you crave day and night. a groan escapes hyunjins mouth and he moves to wrap his hand around the back of your neck, his fingers tangling in and tugging on your hair as he pushes you yo against a nearby tree.

with your head tilted to the side you weasel your tongue past his slippery teeth and into his mouth, sliding against his own. both of you parrot each others moans of desire as your hands explore the expanse of hyunjins back and shoulders.

you feel so cold when he pulls away from you, like your only source of heat has been ripped away from you eternally. when you pry your eyes open, not before a dissatisfied huff passes your lips, you see hyunjin descending.

it appears as if he sinks to his knees in slo-mo, eyes never leaving yours as he kisses his way from your knee to the inside of your thigh. with deft fingers he reaches under your skirt and hooks the waistband of your panties around his fingers before dragging them down your legs and tossing them to the side, soon to be forgotten.

“hyunjin,” you breathe, voice already shaky as you anticipate what’s to come (you). he doesn’t say anything, just grabs your right calf and swings your leg over his shoulder, his face now a mere few inches away from your pussy. it feels as if you’re on display for his eyes only, forced to watch as he sucks and nips at your thighs while leaving dark bruises and bite marks in his wake. slowly be surely he inches closer to the place where you want- no, need him most.

when the tip of his wet, pink tongue drags through your cunt your breath catches in your throat. he continues to offer only feeble kitten licks, and soon enough it has you craving more and more, his actions not enough to fulfil the growing desire you can feel boiling inside of you.

with outstretched fingers you reach out and grip a fistful of his raven hair, pulling on it and all but shoving his face impossibly closer to your wet, hot pussy. the tip of his nose nudges your clit, and the one leg that you’re balanced on almost buckles.

“you taste so good, honey,” hyunjin confesses while lazily dragging his fat tongue through your pussy, “sweet like candy.”

“ ‘s just for you, hyun,” your heads rolls back between your shoulders, resting on the tree behind you. for the moment you elect to forget where you are, focusing on the cute boy between your legs instead of the darkness of the surrounding forest that threatens to swallow you whole.

hyunjin cycles between sucking at your clit and teasing your hole with his tongue, a combo which, although has you seeing stars, is not enough to bring you to release.

“more, jinnie,” you plea, the pet name rumbling past your lips before you can catch yourself.

“you need more, baby?” hyunjin coos while gazing up at you, his eyes foggy and plump lips swollen and glossy. the hand of his that’s been laying dormant on your thigh moves to cup your pussy, groping you before he slides his index and middle fingers through your folds.

in one deft movement he slips his digits inside of you, his tongue poking and flicking your clit at the same time. your needy whines grow louder and echo around you, the goosebumps on your skin now from arousal and not from the cold.

hyunjin continues to finger you at a relaxed pace, his mouth traversing between stimulating your aching clit and nipping at the sensitive skin of your upper thigh. his eyes never leave yours however, and you feel as if you might slip and fall into his gaze, unable to escape.

“one more?” god you sound pathetic, but you don’t care at this point, “please?”

wordlessly, hyunjin slips his ring finger into your cunt. the stretch is subtle but has you yearning for your sweet release. the grip you have on his hair tightens, and you rock your hips against his face to help bring yourself closer and closer to your orgasm. the moans that leave his mouth in response to you tugging on the roots of his hair vibrate through your core, leaving you a stuttering, whiny mess above him.

“jinnie, I think i’m gonna-“ a desperate moan escapes you when hyunjin wraps his lips around your sensitive bud once more, sucking in tandem with the thrusts of his fingers.

over the volume of your own moans and the howl of the wind you can hear the squelching of your wet pussy as hyunjin finger bangs you until you cum all over his hand, his palm and chin sticky with your juices.

your heart drums in your chest as you slowly come back to earth, the warm body between your legs now gone and standing in front of you.

hyunjin looks as if he wants to eat you, swallow you whole, with hair a mess and cheeks splotchy and pink. through his costume you can see he’s hard, his cock begging to be released from the fabric prison it’s confined to.

he kisses you again and you can taste yourself on his tongue, fighting off any embarrassment you feel with the justification that getting your pussy devoured by him felt so fucking good.

your tongue slots against hyunjins inside of his mouth, and you feel him move to push his pants and briefs down to allow his cock to spring free. his sticky warmth mouth is pulled from yours and you watch as he pumps his dick several times to get himself fully hard.

his cock is long and veiny with a slight curve that has you practically drooling all over his feet. of course you’ve seen it before, but it’s been so long and you’ve thought about it so much.

his tip is a dark shade of pink as he moves to drag it through your cunt, allowing it to kiss your still sensitive clit which sends a jolt through your body. not wanting to waste any time, hyunjin wraps the same leg that was sling over his should a few moments ago around his waist. with one hand grubbing your thigh and the other gripping the base of his cock, he slowly sinks into you, allow you to feel every inch of his aching shaft.

“oh god, hyunjin,” you cry, feeling so full after months and months of feeling so empty. hyunjin breathes through his nostrils, attempting to control himself as he bottoms out in your tight hot pussy.

the bark of the tree that you’re pinned up against scratches and digs at the skin of your shoulders and upper back but you’re too drunk on hyunjin to care. all you care about is his cock that’s fucking into you, his tongue that’s tracing your jawline, his curious hand that reaches into your corset and pulls out your breasts.

his mouth makes its way from your neck down to your chest, where he deftly takes your left nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it before giving the same treatment to the other.

your legs cramp as you spread them apart as far as possible given your current position, doing your best to accommodate hyunjins dancer hips. his hips that move so fluidly against you, rolling upwards and grinding against your cunt with each thrust.

every time hyunjins tongue rolls across your tit you can feel it in your core contributing to the small fire that’s growing with every move he makes. one of your hands finds purchase in his hair again and the other finding stability by gripping his shoulder,

“jinnie, hngh-“ you stutter and whine embarrassingly, thankful for the fact that there’s no one around to hear how desperate you are. hyunjins pace picks up and he pumps his cock into you faster, harder, deeper. your limbs turn to jelly as he fucks you with no restraint.

“fuck y/n, I’m so close,” is all he can pant after pulling himself off of your tits, the hair at the base of his neck damp with sweat despite how cold it is outside. the walls of your pussy flutter around his cock as you’re on the brink of your orgasm, waiting to feel your release wash over you.

it only takes a few more thrusts to send you spiralling, creaming all over hyunjins cock as he finishes inside of you. his cum feels hot and heavy inside of you and it warms you to the core on this cold fall night.

the heat you feel in your cunt slowly begins to wane, and you whimper when hyunjin pulls his now soft cock from your hole that’s dripping with his cum; some of it sticks to your thighs.

with a chaste kiss to your lips hyunjin pulls away, fixing himself up before helping you adjust your corset and reaching down to grab your phone that had fallen to the forest floor.

the blue screen almost blinds you when you turn it on, and you’re met with several missed texts from jeongin.

[12:55] jeongin: okay y/n it’s been like 15 minutes you guys can come back now

[1:03] jeongin: seriously y/n it’s been a while, people are starting to worry

[1:04] jeongin: not me of course, but other peopl

[1:16] jeongin: ok y/n this isn’t funny anymore, i get that you’re pissed at me but seriously you guys need to come back

[1:19] jeongin: unless…. the lost john legends are true

[1:19] jeongin: oh god

“this shithead,” you mutter, opting to leave him on read for now

you glance at hyunjin, who’s standing there awkwardly, looking at the moon through the branches of the trees.

“do you wanna come back to my place? i don’t really feel like going back to the party,” he says in a way that seems like he’s bracing himself for you to say no, “we can watch easy a? you know, since i’ve never seen it.”

you stretch out your hand, encouraging him to take it.

“yea, I’d like that,” you say before the two of you make your way out of the forest before strolling down the street under the yellow glow of the moon

.･:*◢▅◣Ξ◥▅◤Ξ ҉ ◢▅◣Ξ ҉ ◥▅◤☾*:･

a/n: apologies if the smut seems rushed I wrote it on a bus lol

[sofasoap]

First time - Part 2

Pairing : Kyle “Gaz” Garrick x F!reader

Summary: years of pinning, you find an excuse to get close to your best friend, Kyle. Now Is he going to say yes to your plan?

Part of Gaz Fest 2023

Warning : E rating. Slight angst. Pinning. Friend to lovers. Insecurity. Smutty smut.

A/N: Thank you @glitterypirateduck for organising the writing festival!! * cheering *

Enjoy!!

Master list

His hand glides back and forth the small of your back, the other slides up along the spine, coming to a stop at the nap of your neck, lightly holding it. 

Leaning closer, he whispered in your ears.

“I have one condition.” Pulling back slightly, staring into your eyes with the usual softness you noticed that is only reserved for you. “I’ll treat you to the full package.”

“Full package?” your eyes narrowed slightly, confused. 

“Like I said before, Sunflower, I don’t want this to be a loveless sex.” You open your mouth, trying to say something, but the gentle caresses of his thumb along your neck, rubbing little circles stopped you. “I want you to treat you to dinner,” Clearing his throat, “A…  a date, first, if you can call it that.”  Please call it that. You thought pleadingly.  But you know he doesn’t mean it by a real date. “To, to get you in the mood.”  Why is he getting flustered and nervous all of sudden? You wondered. 

“And um, then, we can. Proceed. With ..” stuttering slightly, he took a deep breath.

“The deed.” 

You suddenly burst out laughing. Breaking the moment. 

Biting your lip to try to control your laughter, leaning into his shoulder. “I am sorry if I am pressuring you into this, Kyle. You don’t have to go through with this if you don’t want to. I can find someone else. “ letting out a sigh as you finally calm down from your laughter.  “Sam seems to be pretty enthusiastic when I mention to them last time that I haven’t had anyone…”

“No. NO please, let me do this. I don’t trust anyone else looking after you.” There’s his knight in shining armour attitude again. Always there to protect you. That is why you fell for him. Love him. He’s always looking out for your back. As you do for him. 

Straightening himself up, gaining his confidence back slightly as he plastered his signature smile on his face. 

“So, Sunflower, where would you like to go for the pre-deed date?” 

“You look very lovely with that dress, Sunflower.” He smiled.

You are sure there’s one. Yours. You are for sure he is going to break your heart again for the second time by the end of the night. Shattering it even harder than the last. When both of you part ways. And with possibly complete change in your friendship. 

Your mouth gaped as you see there, stands Kyle Garrick, in dark colour tight jeans, long sleeve turtle neck with a sand colour leather jacket. With a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Ready to pick you up for … the supposed pre-deed date.

How many hearts has he captured and broke with his handsome look?

Before you spiral down too far, you decide you should just enjoy this moment, living out your fantasy. The fantasy of Kyle Garrick has finally asked you out on a date, to be his lover, the one and only, your happily ever after. 

He isn’t joking when he mentions to get you into the mood during the date.

“You know that is my favourite dress? It really accentuates your figures well.” 

“You smell really nice. New perfume?”

“There's a bit of chocolate on your face…Let me wipe it off for you.”

“Come. Hold my hand. So I don’t lose you in the crowd.”

The few comments and warm looks from the passerby as the two of you standing by the dock, watching a cruise ship slowly pulling away from the port, sailing into the distance, chatting about the possible destination of the travellers.

“Oh,aren’t you two a cute looking couple. I remember my husband used to take me walking along this Strand for dates when we were too poor to go on proper dates in a restaurant..” The old lady smiled and looked up to the old man beside her, who was lost in his own fond memories. 

You can almost feel Kyle's smile as he kisses the top of your head, pulling you tight against him before replying, “Oh, this is why I am bringing my beautiful girlfriend here now, creating memories so we have something to look back to when we grow old together.”

To anyone’s ears, this would certainly be a possible marriage proposal. But you know it isn’t. 

That sincerity in this tone just makes your heart flutter and melts. You start to waver, does he really mean what he just said?

No. he makes it very clear. This is only a pre-deed date. Just to get you into the mood.

And he certainly has done it. 

Now, standing in the middle of your bedroom, clasping both of your hands together,  you look down onto the floor at your own feet. 

You couldn’t stop shaking as both of you waited for each other to make a move. 

Maybe this is a bad idea after all. Maybe you should have just faced the fact that you're going to stay a virgin until you die. Or you will never have Kyle to yourself. Not even as …… 

“We can stop here if you want Sunflower. I don’t want you to think we have to go through with this.” Sensing your hesitation and discomfort radiating through, he took a step forward, breaking your thought, gently enveloping your hands with his, caressing your knuckle with his thumbs. “We can just end the evening here, I’ll just … “

“No!” Coming out slightly more forceful than you expected, you gulped as you shake your head before tilting your head up, glossy eyes slowly blinking with a softer but determined tone.

“I want you, Kyle. Take me. Please.” 

He lets go of your hands, slowly sliding up your arm, towards your shoulder, your neck, and comes to a stop as he cups your jaw, leaning down with his lips hovering over yours, as if asking for that final permission again. 

Tilting your head slightly, closing the gap. Feeling his warm and slightly chapped lips on yours.

Since when you hit adolescents, when you realise your attraction to him is not just mere childhood crush. 

How you have dreamt of this moment for a long time. YEARS. 

Maybe there was some teenage hormone rage happening at the same time. But even now, there are nights of dreaming about him, trying to relieve that ache with your own hands, it was never enough.  Nothing ever satisfied you. 

Boldly, sliding one of your hands behind him and sliding down between the gap of his pants, grabbing onto his butt, the other underneath his top, feeling both of his firm abdominal muscles, lightly scratching it with your nails. Teasing him a bit. 

That seems to tip him over the edge. He grabbed you by the waist, pulling you closer to him. 

“For someone who claims never had any experiences before, you are certainly a tease. Look how hard you make me.” Rolling his against you, feeling the almost hardened cock even through the material. 

Fuck. If you weren’t aroused before, now you were pretty sure your core is dripping wet. You never heard him talking in such a dark and lusty tone before. You wouldn’t say you dislike it. What you will do to hear more of it. 

“Lacey lingerie? All for me? What a pretty girl…” you can hear his amused tone as he turns you around, pulling down the zipper of your dress, letting it drop down to the floor. 

Your body is heated up with his comment. You have debated days ago if you should wear something special underneath, or just a plain safe option of your normal underwear. But now you are glad you bit the bullet and went to the shop and got the lingerie set after hearing his praises. He leans down and plants light kisses trailing down from the tip of your ears down towards your neck and shoulders. 

“Kyle….” You whimpered as you tighten your thighs together, trying to get a bit of relief. He quietened you with a little shush, before coming back up and kissing your temple. You need him now. You can’t take anymore of his teasing. 

“Just relax. I will take care of you, love. Don’t worry.” lightly grabbing onto your breast, teasing the nipple through the thin fabric, as the other hand slights down, cupping your sex, and slide his hand back and forth

You moan and gasp as he pushes the fabric aside and slides one of his fingers in, rubbing lightly on your clit with his thumb and slides his other fingers through the slit. 

This is better than your own finger. Even better than you imagined. 

Before you know it, your first orgasm hits you fast as he rubs circles with his thumb on your clit, eyes closed, you lean back against him, biting your own lip trying to suppress the urge of screaming out loud. 

He slows down his ministration as you ride out the waves of your orgasm, whispering words of praise. If not for his strong arm circling around your waist to hold you up, your jelly like leg wouldn’t even support you up. 

Oh. 

Slowly pulling out his fingers and after tilting his head down to give you a deep kiss, he bent down a little, arm behind your knee to scoop you up into a bridal carry.

Carefully lowering you on to the bed, taking a moment to admire you, he stood back from the bed, slowly undressing himself. His beautiful toned body slowly reveals as he shreds each piece of clothing. Until the last one disappeared onto the floor. 

OH. he is. 

Well endowed. 

Like the rumours you have heard. 

Jokes have been made around the table amongst close friends how “well grown” Kyle has been, but you always thought that is just shits and giggles amongst the mates and men throwing at each other, but seeing is believing. 

Rumours confirmed. Fact. Ticked. 

You tense up. Feeling like a novice jumping straight into the hardest setting in a game, you wondered how in the hell are you going to take him?! 

Snapping back from your thought, you saw Kyle crawling onto the bed with a box condom and a tube of lubricant. 

“I, ah, didn’t know if you have any so I brought some for you..” he smiled shyly, holding the items up. 

The ever thoughtful Kyle. It's actually quite touching.

When he was about to grab the packet of condom, your hand reached over, asking in a quivering tone.

Your shoulder relaxed slightly, nodding your head as silent thanks. He edges forward on his knee, and nudges your leg to spread open slightly. Although you only just came down from your orgasm, you feel like you are ready to go again with his fingers works around the area, gently applying the lubricants.

You don’t think you will ever get enough of his touching you. Nor you touching him. 

“Can.. can I.. put it on for you? Can you please teach me how?” you pull a nervous smile, asking him for permission. 

His gentle hand guides yours towards his arousal, taking in a sharp breath as you hold the base of his cock and slowly roll the condom down his length.  

Aiming at your sex, he slowly and gently pushes his tip in, inch by inch, letting you get used to the stretch.

“Try to relax, love.. Take your time. No pressure here..” he leans forwards, giving you light kisses on the face as he notices your face contorted with discomfort and pain. “You are doing so well.. Taking me…just tell me when I can move, at your own pace.”

Grabbing onto his shoulder, you try to relax as much as possible, nodding your head to urge him to push on, until he is fully seated inside you. 

Such a strange sensation, him inside you. So big. So hot. You feel like you are melting into one with him. 

You take another deep breath in, looking up at him with your hooded eyes. You can see his jaws tighten and eyes full of lust as he looks back down at you, trying to control himself for your sake. 

“I am ready. Please. Kyle.” You begged. 

Starting slowly, he slides his cock out, before thrusting it back in again. And repeating the motion, again and again, but you can feel he is holding back slightly, afraid to hurt you if he moves too much. 

You throw your head back, reaching your second orgasm of the night, screaming out his name. Amongst the haziness of orgasm, you feel him going for a few quick short sharp thrust before reaching his own high, groaning out loud as he rides it out. 

Slowly the discomfort and pain is taken over by that familiar feel of delightful heat pulling around your lower region. You start rocking your hip upward, to meet with his thrust, trying to chase that bliss that you have felt earlier on.

He pushes your legs towards your body more, hitching the feet onto his shoulder to get a deeper angle, you let out a loud moan as he has hit the perfect spot. One of his hand made its way towards your clit, pinching it lightly.

Collapsing on top of you panting away, he buried his face in between your breast, trying to steady his breathing. 

“Heaven..… I can’t believe it.. Oh gosh.. I love you.”

Your head snapped up from the pillow, looking down at him. You felt him tensing up as soon as he realised what had slipped through his mouth. 

“You…“  Did you hear him right? “You.. love me?” you asked in a very small voice. Body starts to shake. This must be just post-sex brain talking, right? There is no way possible he loves you. 

Awkward silence lingers, you try to push yourself up, trying to get away from him, but he grabs onto your arm before you can fully pull away, and head raises up and looks at you, with pleading eyes. 

“I.. I never intended for it to come out this way. I am sorry.” he replied in an almost choking voice. 

See? He is regretting what he said already. There is no way he loves you.

“That’s why you refused.” you whispered.

“You don’t know how happy I was when you came to me about your… proposal,” he continued.  Closing his eyes, recounting the memory. “I don’t know how you feel about me, other than being a close friend. I didn’t want to take advantage of you.”

He nodded. Face falling back in between your breast again, feeling his hot breath on your skin as he let out a breath. 

“But I was so heartbroken seeing you running away from me..planning to run away into another person’s arms with the same proposal. How can I let that happen? I want to be your special one.. I want to be your first.” he gulped, “I want to be loved by you.” 

“Way too long. Even the others have noticed it.. I suspect.” 

“Kyle…” you lift your hand, running your finger through his short curly hair. “I.. I've been in love with you since we were young.” You confessed. His head snapped back up, suddenly hope glittering in his eyes, “I .. never thought you will return my feeling, I was too scared to make a move, and I was sick and tired waiting for you to make a move.” tears streaming down your face, he reaches up gently, wiping it away. “And I thought, using this excuse, at least.. At least I can be with you first and last time, and move on. Forget about going after you. Just keep our relationship as friends.”

“Oh my Sunflower…” he leaned his forehead against yours. “Looks like both of us have been hiding from each other. For a long time.”

Kyle’s eyes snapped open, brows raised. 

“One of them pushed me to just get on with it and ask you.”  you smiled. “ and I am glad they did.” 

“So do I..” After a brief pause, Kyle wriggling himself around a bit, to pull out from you, throwing away the used condom. You moaned slightly at the loss of the heat and feeling of him.. 

You raise your eyebrows as he grabs another condom from the box, and his cock already recovering from the session. 

“We gotta make up for all that lost time, right?” he winked. 

Oh, you wouldn’t say no to that. 

“Like I said, my Sunflower, there are still a lot of tricks up my sleeve I need to show you.. We have all night to go through it all.” 

@deadbranch

This chapter went on way longer than I expected. oops.

@kaplerrr

@homicidal-slvt

@lia0-0

@floral-force

@saltofmercury

@siilvan

@rileyslibrarian

@mistydeyes

@okayyadriana

@a-small-writer-in-a-big-world

@jynxmirage

@nrdmssgs @schr-torta @glitterypirateduck@devcica @cumikering@roosterr

@groguspicklejar

@obsolescent @whydoilikewhump

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: An Important Mission

 ( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)       Human: Breaching atmosphere……now.

*Shuttle shakes back and forth*

Alien: You’ve done this before, right?

Human: Hundreds of times.

Alien: So there is no risk?

Human: Well… I wouldn’t say that.

Alien: *Starts having panic attack*

Human: I’m kidding.

Human: We’ll be fine.

Alien: You didn’t tell me what this special mission was for.

Human: I told you it was classified.

Alien: Then why bring me at all?

Human: I needed your hangar bay credentials to help complete the mission.

Alien: If I am so important to the success of this mission I feel like I have earned the right to know.

Human: Once we hit the ground and confirm with the second team all will be made clear.

Alien: Second team?

Human: That’s right.

Human: Bravo team launched the same time we did and is making their way to their objective now.

Human: *Flips comms switch*

Human: This is Charlie horse to Grazer Taser, do you copy?

*Over radio* This is Grazer Taser.

Human: Any problems?

*Over radio* None yet. We’ll be at the LZ in twenty.

Human: Roger; will contact again once in position.

Alien: Was that human Alan from the mess?

Human: You’ve got a keen ear my friend.

Alien: Why would the captain send a crewman from the mess hall on an away mission?

*Shuttle shakes violently and then stops.*

Human: Hold that thought, we’ve just passed into the green zone.

Human: *pauses to check scanners and begins altering course.*

Alien: *Walks to the cockpit and looks out over alien world*

*Mountain peaks that taller than any skyscraper surround them like the jaws of some great beast. Dry and withered sand dunes fill the valleys between them as little to no sign of vegetation can be seen in any direction.*

Alien: It’s beautiful.

Human: It really is.

*Shuttle begins slowly descending into one of the valleys*

Human: Helmets on, we’re here.

Alien: *Puts on space helmet and locks seal*

Human: *Lands the ship, then comes over to inspect alien spacesuit.*

Alien: *Gets thumbs up from human and in turn inspects their spacesuit before returning the gesture.*

Human: Popping the lid.

*Boarding ramp lowers down to the surface and the pair step out on to the alien world.*

Human: *Pulls out scanner and begins reading the area*

Human: *Points* Over there.

*Pair walk away from the ship for about thirty feet before the scanner begins beeping loudly*

Alien: Alright, now what?

*No response*

Alien: *Turns around to see human pull something out of a pouch and place it on the ground*

Alien: What is that?

Human: *Over comms* Grazer Taser the package is in place, how about yours?

*Over radio* Package has been placed, mission complete.

Alien: What?

Alien: Why is the mission completed?

Alien: What did you-

Alien: *Looks closer at object on the ground*

Alien: Is that bread?

Human: Yes.

Alien: Why did you put it on the ground?

Human: To make a sandwich.

Alien: But you would need tw-

*Coin drops*

Alien: Where is the second team?

Human: On the other side of the planet.

Alien: *Sighs loudly and painfully*

Human: We’ve just made the largest sandwich in the universe!

*Starts cheering and jumping around like an idiot*

Alien: This was the secret mission!?

Human: Well we had to do this before Becky did it.

Alien: Who the frak is “Becky”?

Human: She works in maintenance and she overheard me and my friend wanting to do this and so she started telling the crew that it was actually her idea and she was going to be the first to make a planet sandwich,

Alien: So you talked the captain into letting you do this?

Human: Yeah….about that.

*Over the radio*

Captain: Will someone care to explain why two of my shuttles are now planet side?

[heartfullofleeches]

I am politely asking for you to write about Erin cross dressing please

(Going off an old request I vaguely remember with Erin overhearing you like feminine guys)

"They're so cute- Hey, Y/n what do you like in a partner?"

Erin leans back in his seat away from the commotion at his table to eavesdrop on yours. You were surrounded by friends flapping their gums over someone one of them was interested in - put on the spot for not giving your two cents.

"Uh, I don't know- someone pretty I guess."

"You mean like those people you follow who wear nice makeup and skirts?"

Your coughing fit is enough of an answer for everyone listening in on the conversation. Erin returns to his group, subconsciously groping his features. He had some softer details thanks to his mother, but was he what others would call pretty? The tingle in his chest combated the nausea from eating school food at the thought of you praising his looks. He picks up a tater tot and chucks it at a girl across the table; it being the only way to get her attention otherwise.

She picks it out of her fruit cup. "What the hell, Erin?!"

"Shut up and give me your lip gloss, Bea."

"Why in the fuck would I do that?"

"I'll tell coach you're the one who stole her flask and replaced it with bleach for giving the lead spot in the parade to someone else."

Beatrix angrily shifts through her bag. "Here."

"Thank you." He tosses her his unopened cup as he gets up from the table and heads to the bathroom. He stops by the janitor's closet and jimmies the broken lock until it pops open, grabbing the out of order sign. He wants for everyone to come out of the restroom and sets the sign up as he enters.

Erin reevaluates himself in the mirror. His long hair did confuse the older crowd when they saw him from a distance. He tucks it all into a high ponytail using a spare bracket as a band. Next, he pulls out the cheerleader's makeup. This isn't his first time with the stuff. Both his mom and older sibling dressed him up in the past whenever he asked about their clothes and was interested in trying them. He let his mother put eye shadow on him whenever they went out as a family.

Erin dispenses some of the gloss on his finger, puckering his lips as he cakes them in the foundation. He smacks them together to even the coat out and looks at the results in the mirror.

It's a start. The gloss is barely noticeable outside bright light, but it adds a little more volume to his lips. He goes back in to work on other parts of himself, but the bell cuts his session short.

"Shit!"

Erin hurries out of the bathroom and down to the cafeteria; forgetting about the sign in his haste. The dining area is nearly empty by the time he gets back, and you didn't have the next period together. He looks back to see if you've already gone, the next person to walk by bumping straight into him.

"Sorry- Oh, hey Erin."

"Sup."

You look him up and down. Erin's teeth pick at his lips in anticipation.

"Not much. You look good. See you next period."

The light force of you walking by almost knocks Erin off his feet. You said something nice about him. He didn't think he'd get this far. Maybe a passing glance, but you completely acknowledge him. You thought he looked good. It was a high he never wanted to fall from. One he craved more of with only one possible solution.

-

Erin hisses in pain as the teeth of his skirt's zipper lodge into his skin. "Fucking damn it-"

He pulls the fabric away from his hip and zips it up; kicking an empty shipping box under his bed. It sticks out of the corner due to the other packages overcrowding the space, but he was too excited to take care of them now or throughout the week they all had arrived. The skirt was the final piece of his outfit which also took the most time to arrive. Erin hooks mini pearl earrings in his ears and pulls his shirt from inside the shirt before looking at himself in the full body mirror by his closet.

The outfit consisted of an off the shoulder light pink top and a black skirt that went down to his thighs. The rest of his legs were covered by white stockings and his ginger hair was yet again pulled back. He wore a more noticeable shade of gloss on his lips and his long eyelashes were extended with the use of a wand. His regular choker was switched with a red one with a heart shaped dog tag. He had muscle, but the skirt hugged his body in a way that showed off his curves. Staring at himself, Erin felt pretty. Time for the next phase.

Erin snaps a photo of him at the mirror. He then gets in his bed with his back against the headboard. He grabs a pillow and hugs it to his chest, tugging his shirt down a bit more as he gets into position. He makes sure that his stocking clad thighs are in frame as he takes another pic and pulls up his contact. He knew your number by heart from the various acquaintances he hustled it off of and when you gave it to himself yourself for a project, but what good boyfriend doesn't have their partner in their phone without a cute title?

Erin sends you the pictures without saying a word. He waits about five minutes to pick up his phone again, both happy and disappointed you haven't opened his text.

"Sorry for the pics. Lost a bet and sent them to the wrong number."

His heart leaps out of his chest as his phone chimes.

"No worries. Hope this is okay for me to say, but you look pretty."

It's more than okay. Erin stares at his phone for ages; eyes rolling over the message countless times yet his brain fails to retain it to memory. He'd probably explode if it did. He experiences a moment of clarity in wondering what your expression was when you saw him. Did you see him as desirable. Did you crave him as badly?

Luck worked in Erin's favor that night - for he may soon have an answer.

"Hey- actually, do you want to come over? I'm bored and thought we could hang out or something."

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Special Interest 3

Warnings: non/dubcon, age gap, creep behaviour, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: Cole Turner, short!reader

Part of the Bookstore AU

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You package up another pair of mitts. It’s that season where sales pick up. It’s cold and the holidays are lurking just around the corner. Your hands are achy from working your needles but you can’t complain for the uptick in demand.

Along with your crochet menagerie, you supplement your etsy shop with stickers, while pondering the prospect of cards, especially given the time of year. As overworked as your hands are, your mind feels more so.

Your computer bings. Another sale? You go around to check your open Etsy page. Nope, a message from a customer. Please don’t be a return.

It’s a message. From the vaunted Farmer’s Delight. You might be avoiding them but that doesn’t need to be a whole thing. You’re working on their order! That’s not neglect.

You open the chat, knowing to leave that little dot just hovering there would drive you crazy. 

‘Hey, just checking in. Was hoping to do a pick-up soon. Maybe in the next week?’

Sigh. Great, did they not read your last message? You know you’re a bit hard to take seriously in real life but this is text. There is no height difference or age gap. You’re on even ground. You’re traversing a world of digital equity.

‘Hey. Not sure if you saw my last message but I can’t do a pick up. Please provide your mailing address and I’ll be happy to send this out. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.’

There, firm but still customer service-y. You hit send and go back to smooth labels onto bubble packs. Another chime.

‘Like I said, mailing out here is inconsistent. I need the order as soon as possible. Please let me know a time that works for you. I need to hit the hardware store so I’ll be coming to town. We can meet there for exchange.’

Ugh. You want to punch the computer. You should just refund their order and be done with it. Even with your pick-up in sales, it’s a big chunk. You just can’t stomach giving back that much money and they didn’t even ask for their shipping fee back.

You let the message stew. They are offering a public meet-up. That seems like a good omen, at least. Friday night might work, your mom will be done work at four. That’s a decent amount of time. And it’s close to the post office.

You seal another package and leave the room, treading down the hall as you hear your mother clacking away at her keyboard. You approach cautiously. She closes the door when she’s in a meeting. You tap on the doorframe and peek through the open door.

“Mom, sorry, I don’t wanna bother–”

“All good,” she sits back and pushes up her glasses to rub her eyes, “all these emails are doing my head in.”

“Um, well, you remember that order I got. For pick-up. Could you drive me to the hardware store on Friday?”

“Friday?” She echoes.

“I figure we can stop by the post office on the way. And I’ll buy dinner. You know dad loves the gyros down at Eddie’s. It’s on our way…” You give a smile and sway, “please.”

“Sure. Sounds like a good excuse to get out. Besides, I need to grab some washer thing for the sink. I don’t know, your dad was going on about it. I’ll ask,” he flips her glasses down, “oh, that’s so nice! A big sale–” she claps her hands. “I’m so proud of you, honey.”

You raise your brows, surprised by her excitement. You remember when you quit your craft store job to buy a Cricut machine and go all in. She was less than jazzed.

“Really?”

“Of course,” she beams, standing and grabbing her empty mug, “you know, I was a bit concerned. No school, no job, but you’re a go-getter. Any man would be happy to marry someone with so many hobbies, and hobbies that pay.”

“Hobbies? Mom, this is a business. I have to pay taxes,” you back out of her way as she comes into the hall.

“I know, sweetie, but…” she glances around, “it’s still young. You don’t know if a business is a business for a few years. I’m not knocking you down, I’m trying to be realistic.”

“Mom, please, do we have to worry about five years from now? I want to see how far this goes without worrying about guys or a husband or– I can’t even order a beer yet.”

“Me and your dad married right out of high school. We never worried about all that dating stuff and it was all so simple. Trust me, once you find someone, the world will be so much clearer.”

“If it’s easier, I can get an uber on Friday,” you cross your arms and follow her towards the stairs.

“Don’t be like that. I’m being supportive. But you make sure you’re saving money. Pray the day comes and you’ll have a nice nest egg for your wedding,” she stops at the top of the stairs, “or tuition. There’s lots of cuties in college.”

“Mom,” you roll your eyes, “let’s just take it a day at a time. Friday I’ll get that order out.”

“Oh, remind me to grab some grout cleaner when we’re there too,” she points at you before she turns to descend the stairs, “the bathroom is looking a bit grimy.”

You mutter, “alright, mom,” and slowly turn away.

Everything with her comes back to that one thing. She just assumes that you’re lonely. Worse, she seems to believe you’re wasting your time on all this. 

You shut your door and tramp around to your laptop. You sit on the cushioned stool and type in your reply to Farmer’s Delights; ‘Friday works for me. After four.’

Three dots pop up almost right away. Then disappear. Then appear again.

‘Sounds great. I’ll see you there.’

You send a thumbs up and close out. You have to finish packing then get back to destroying your carpal tunnel. It’s money, your mom’s right about that, but you won’t be saving for a wedding.

[valtiels-darkness]

.:Please:.

You're all probably annoyed at seeing this and I am sorry! I am just trying to make 1/3 of my goal so I can actually get my products packaged and shipped!

NO PREDATORY COMMENTS OR DMs. THIS MEANS PEOPLE TELLING ME TO MESSAGE SO AND SO AND THE LIKE. I HAVE NO MONEY, SO WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WILL PAY YOU TO SHARE THIS? STOP. IMAGINE BEING THAT PREDATORY TO SOMEONE WHO JUST LOST A FAMILY MEMBER, OR NEEDS END OF LIFE CARE ASSISTANCE.

And the whole "Gotta Spend Money To Make Money" bullshit. Read the damned gofundme. You'll see that i spent 3k of what i scraped together for this.

I'll be real: I was forced to resign from my job because of a severe health issue that is ongoing and makes it hard to even just walk my hall in my apartment. I am homeschooling my lil girl because she has special needs and they were not being met in public schooling, unfortunately. I want to work, but i can't and i also have broken my body for 20 years. I think, with all said and done with my health and all that, it's time that i do something I know i am good at and enjoy. It's either that or try to be on SSI but that is a long process and we still do not know what is going on with my health.

I have donated to various causes, including the horrendous bs that is happening on the otherside of the world, before I had to resign. So, yes, the guilt of having a gofundme to help support my family (by helping me with my small business) is there when there is so much shit going on in this world, but i know that I've done what I can and I use my platform on instagram to amplify and help expose of the atrocities that take place, hourly.

Sorry for the rant and the imploring.

Thank you.

Please consider donating. If you can't, please share?

[the-sky-queen]

Note from: Doctor Robert Aster

You do not amuse me, Sky.

You really think you can play this game where you know "everything" about me. But you're wrong. How could you know who I am when we never even met?

How did your silly little packages get on my property, anyway? Did you phone the wrong address with those tiny screen devices anyway?

If you think my little "operation" is hurting my children, then a wholeheartedly welcome you to my facility so I can prove that you're wrong. My treatment is helpful. Those children were being delusional and as a good doctor, I gave them the help they needed.

As for the the threat of the movie beforehand: The movie shows a dangerous precedent that a child should disobey their parents and endanger their safety by leaving their homes and hooking up with criminals. I'm sorry you just cannot see that.

Now please, stop shipping your movies to my house or I will personally send you photographic proof that they were burned. You wouldn't want me to scar your "precious" literature, right?

Good little girl.

Dearest Doctor Robert Lucero Aster.

We have met before, though you have never seen me. I advise you to not underestimate me.

I know for a fact that your operation is hurting your children, but I am wise enough to not fight you on this matter. I am well aware that no matter what your real opinion of this situation is, you will never admit it out loud. Therefore, I will save my breath. Just be aware that I know what you are. I know what you've done. Please reconsider before continuing, or I cannot guarantee your safety.

In regards to your view of Tangled, I would like to point out that Rapunzel only ran away because her mother was stifling her. On her journey she learned the truth. That Mother Gothel was lying to her and had kidnapped her from her real parents. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? And the criminal Rapunzel met turned out to be good at heart, which is more than I can say for you.

Robert, I think you will find that I have more than one way of shipping things to your location. And I can ensure they don't come to the front door. I can give them directly to your children if you wish. Perhaps I am already in contact with them.

The bottom line is . . .

You don't understand who you're messing with.

Best wishes,

~ Sky

[the-duck-dealer]

Sonic the Hedgehog - Toy Kingdom Calamity

[Christmas Eve. Sonic dashes through Twinkling Village, gazing at all the Christmas lights, then up at the aurora in the sky.] Sonic: Man, I love this time of year. [Suddenly, Sonic hears angry shouting nearby.] Sonic: Huh? [He sees a large crowd of people surrounding a Toy Kingdom delivery station.] Sonic: These folks don’t look so holly-jolly. [Sonic taps one of them on the shoulder.] Sonic: Hey, what’s goin’ on? Civilian: Toy Kingdom hasn’t delivered any Christmas packages! They were supposed to arrive this morning! …Say, aren’t you…? [Sonic steps through the crowd, reaching the front window. He knocks on the metal shutter] Sonic: Yo! [It opens. A worker drone answers.] Drone: We are sorry. There has been a delay in shipping. We apologize for the inconvenience. Please go home. Goodbye. [It slams shut.] Sonic: …Uh…? [He knocks on it again. It opens once more.] Drone: We are sorry. There has been a delay in shipping. We apologize for the inconvenience. Please go home. Goodbye. Sonic: …Okay. That’s not suspicious at all. Maybe it might be a good idea to check things out. [Sonic turns to face the crowd.] Sonic: Hold on, folks. I’ll get to the bottom of this. [Sonic dashes into the night.]

Sonic: Toy Kingdom’s comin’ up. Let’s see what all the fuss is about. [Sonic skids to a stop outside the outer walls. The drawbridge is up…?] Sonic: Huh? That’s weird. This place is usually open 24/7. In fact, I’ve never seen it closed! Sonic: HEY! Konstruct-A-King! You in there? Hello??? [Some Toy Guards pop their heads over the kingdom walls.] Sonic: Oh, hey! What’s the deal, guys? Why’re all the drawbridges up? It’s Christmas Eve! [They aim their guns at him and open fire.] Sonic: Woah--Hey! [Sonic leaps and avoids their gunfire, kicking up some snow and launching snowballs at them, knocking them back.] Sonic: So much for a warm welcome! [Sonic dashes up the wall, leaping over the top and tying the guards up in christmas lights.] Sonic: You guys don’t seem like yourselves. What’s the… deal…? [Sonic sees armies of Badniks patrolling the kingdom. Equipment and toys are being moved around like crazy.] Sonic: …You’ve gotta be kidding me, doc. [One of the Guards manages to break their arm free and call on the radio.] Sonic: Hey! [Sonic kicks the radio out of their hand.] Sonic: Nobody likes a snitch, little guy. [Alarms go off in the area. Sonic glares at the toy soldier.] [A miniature Eggmobile with 2 sidecars flies in. A spotlight centers on Sonic.] Sonic: Oh, look. The three stooges. [Orbot, Cubot, and Tribot hover overhead.] Orbot: Sonic?! Cubot: Uh-oh! Eggman’s not gonna like this! Tribot: I am! I can’t wait to stomp that little blue thornbush! Woo-hoo! [Orbot presses a button on the Eggmobile, and a giant, robotic nutcracker deploys from a nearby warehouse and drops down in front of Sonic. The Eggmobile’s sidecars detach, and take their places in the shoulders of the mech. Orbot’s Eggmobile sits atop the hat, and the mech’s eyes light up, raising an axe.] Sonic: Heh. Alright, let’s do this! [The Egg Cracker's axe slams down in the snow. Sonic dives out of the way, running up the base of the axe and spin attacking Tribot's Eggmobile.] Tribot: Hey! Get off! Orbot: I got him! Hang on! [A large, comically sized nut is loaded into the Egg Cracker’s mouth. The Egg Cracker bites down, and spikes are sent outwards in all directions.] Sonic: Woah! [Sonic ducks, avoiding one of the spikes, then leaps off as another spike hits Tribot’s Eggmobile.] Tribot: Dang it, Orbot! Watch where you’re aiming! Sonic: Man, I can’t believe Eggman trusted you guys to handle this job. Tribot: WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! [Tribot swings the axe again, and Sonic backflips out of the way.] Sonic: I gotta do something about that axe… Or better yet… Use it against them! [Sonic dashes away as the giant mech begins to chase him. He slides under each axe swing, before stopping beside an electrical transformer.] Sonic: Betcha can’t hit me! Tribot: Are you CHALLENGING ME?! [Tribot raises the axe.] Orbot: Tribot, wait! Don’t! He’s trying to trick you! [The axe hits the transformer, and sparks fly, electrocuting the mech and the three shapebots.] Cubot: Ugh… Even I wouldn’t have fallen for that. Orbot: Yes, you would’ve. [Sonic launches off of a spring and onto Tribot’s pod, shattering the glass.] Sonic: Pardon me. Tribot: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! [Sonic toys with the controls, forcing the mech to toss the axe up into the air.] Orbot: Uh-oh. [Sonic salutes, before leaping off of the mech just before the axe impales it.] [The Egg Cracker crumbles to pieces, and the 3 Egg Mobiles detach from the robot.] Cubot: Let’s get out of here! Sonic: Hey, where’re you three goin’? No time for a snowball fight? [Sonic spindashes in the snow, launching hundreds of snowballs into the Egg Mobiles, knocking them out of the sky. The three shapebots fall out of their vehicles.] Orbot: Wait, wait! Don’t-! [Sonic lifts them all up, juggling them around.] Cubot: I’m gonna be sick!

[Meanwhile, inside the Toy Kingdom castle…] Eggman: Ohohoh! Construction is going swimmingly! Soon, all the world’s toys will be yours, my dear! Sage: Father? Eggman: Yes, my little omelet? Sage: There is a disturbance outside. Eggman: Hmmm? [Sage points at a monitor. Security footage shows Sonic messing with Orbot, Cubot, and Tribot.] Eggman: You have GOT to be kidding me! Metal! Make that rodent carol in pain! [Metal’s eyes glow in acknowledgement. His thrusters fire up, and he takes off through the open window.] Orbot: Uncle! Uncle! Sonic: All right, all right. I’ve had my fun. See ya! [Sonic tosses all three of them into the air, before kicking them into a nearby dumpster.] Cubot: My head… Tribot: That was a pretty good throw, though… Orbot: Shut up, you two. Sonic: Well, better get back to it. Now, which way--Oof! [Metal Sonic lunges into Sonic, knocking him off of his feet, before kicking him across the path.] Sonic: Metal! Just who I wanted to unwrap this Christmas! [Sonic uses Sonic Boom to push Metal back. Metal’s thrusters flare up. Sonic leaps over Metal’s head as he flies past. Metal’s torso spins around, and he punches Sonic in the face.] Sonic: Oof-! Lucky hit. So, what are you and Eggman up to, huh? [The two clash, accelerating into each other.] Tribot: YEAH! KILL HIM, METAL! RIP HIS QUILLS OUT! [Tribot’s sudden outburst startles Metal. Sonic takes the advantage to kick Metal upwards, before following up with a Loop Kick. Metal skids across the pavement, glaring at Tribot.] Tribot: … Tribot: NO REGRETS! [Metal turns back towards Sonic. Sonic charges a peel-out, before blasting off in Metal Sonic’s direction. Metal prepares to counter, but as Sonic closes in, he starts to slip on the icy road.] Sonic: Woah, woah, WOAH! [Sonic slides straight towards Metal, who simply holds a fist out for Sonic to smack into.] Sonic: Ngh… Too slippery out here for me to get traction… Gotta find somewhere I can run! [Sonic leaps onto a rooftop, leaping from building to building. Metal pursues quickly behind.] Sonic: Still keeping up, eh? Alright. Catch me if you can! [Sonic sees the Toy Kingdom Castle atop the mountain.] Sonic: (I bet that’s where Eggman is hiding… Just gotta lose Metal, first.)

[kloppinthekop]

꧁ hello! ꧂

amy ᝰ ❧ scorpio sun and moon, she/they, grey-ace, 30s

i support liverpool f.c. (epl) and mclaren (f1). faves include: dominik szoboszlai, lando norris, oscar piastri, and carlos sainz jr.

→ formula 1 sideblog: carlandoscars ←

i have a ph.d. in english literature, specializing in science fiction, but i really only write for fun these days.

other interests include: kate bush (queen of my heart), goth and post punk music/subculture, horror and sci-fi films, jane austen, mary shelley (i am always ready to bring frankenstein into any conversation), orphan black, star trek, studio ghibli, and more.

a masterlist of my fics and other scribblings are below the cut! a gentle reminder that i do not take requests for fics; however, headcanons are welcome and my askbox is open!

you can find most of my fics on archive of our own (ao3). some may be archive-locked (only viewable to users who are logged in on ao3). fics are sorted by type, ship/pairing, and then alphabetically listed within each category (for the most part). ratings are indicated in parentheses next to each title. if you are under the age of 18, please do not interact with any mature/explicit fics. full list of tags and any potential content warnings are available on ao3. masterlist to be updated periodically.

꧁DOMITRENT꧂ (dominik szoboszlai/trent alexander arnold)

dream come true (M, eventually E) 𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔲𝔰 ➾ [work in progress]

→ Dominik, whose dreams of becoming a professional football player ended years ago due to injury, has dedicated himself to a new passion: physiotherapy. After moving to Liverpool to complete his studies, he meets Trent, a local lad whose dream of playing in the first team is about to come true. But what if, in meeting one another, their dreams become intertwined?

⟡ by chapter: chapter one: skull and bones | chapter two: skeletons and secrets | chapter three: start of something | chapter four: sweet as sugar | chapter five: stay with me | chapter six: stuck on you | chapter seven: suddenly everything changes

꧁HENDOLLANA꧂ (jordan henderson/adam lallana)

borne in red (E; dubcon) → In a world where men have been discovered to be infertile, the few men who are not sterile are forced into service of Captains and their Wives. Adam Lallana is one of these "studs," also known as Reds. He is also, dangerously, in love with men. Over a course of Ceremonies, he discovers that his Captain has a secret, and that his proclivities may be indeed similar to Adam's own desires…

A Hendollana AU based on Margaret Atwood's novel, The Handmaid's Tale.

⟡ by chapter: chapter one: waiting | chapter two: discovering | chapter three: being | chapter four: waiting | chapter five: coda

꧁DOMITRENT꧂ (dominik szoboszlai/trent alexander arnold)

we lit the fire and it's burning bright (E) → After the Liverpool vs Manchester City game (where Trent scores the equaliser), Dom takes Trent back to his apartment and proceeds to take him apart with his hands and lips.

working on the riddle of your heart (E) → Dominik can’t stop thinking about Trent. Ever since pre-season training, he has been obsessed. God, Dominik wants to be possessed by Trent.

you're out there killing the game (E) → Trent gets his arse out for all to see, but Dom wants it to be just his.

꧁CARRAVILLE꧂ (jamie carragher/gary neville)

gary knows; or, gary the fool in liverpool (T) → Liverpool’s lost the league, and Gary’s lost his damn mind.

a christmas carraville (merry crimbo, ye big lug) (G) → God I love him, but my husband is an idiot, Jamie thinks. In which Gary Neville and Jamie Carragher are married, but Gary doesn't know it yet.

champagne supernova (happy new year, ye tosser) (T) → It's New Year's Eve, and all Carra can think about is whether a certain Manc will kiss him at midnight. Maybe a little liquid courage will help light the way.

package deal (it's valentine's day, ye dimwit) (E) → Gary's got a Valentine’s date with an idiot.

꧁GERLONSO꧂ (steven gerrard/xabi alonso)

days of legends past (G) → "When you left, it broke my heart." Three vignettes related to various and sundry myths and legends.

꧁HENDOLLANA꧂ (jordan henderson/adam lallana)

fools in love (G; archive-locked) → aka, five times that other people noticed Jordan and Adam were dating before they did, and one time they finally realize that they’ve been a couple all along.

hounds of love (G; archive-locked) → Jordan's not sure what his soulmark will be yet, but what he does know is that he's terrified. A slow-burn soulmate AU.

merry to go 'round (G; archive-locked) → The lads buy a house together at the end of the 2026 World Cup campaign, and not a single one of their teammates (former teammates now) are surprised.

soft lad (E; archive-locked) → Five-hundred twenty-five thousand six-hundred minutes… it took a span of two pre-seasons for Hendo to realize that he was in love.

vignettes: tickertape (G; archive-locked) → After the trophy lift, Hendo searches for a tangible piece of memory…

vignettes: turf (G; archive-locked) → Lallana leaving LFC, but choosing a certain squad number for familiarity…

꧁OTHER SHIPS꧂

put myself on a pedestal - virgil van dijk/jarell quansah (E) → After the Union Saint-Gilloise match, Jarell says some things to the press that perhaps ought not to have been said. It's Virgil's job to educate him. But perhaps there are things that Virgil also ought not to say out loud… Then, Jarell comes over to his house one night after training, and Virgil finds a more effective way to stop Jarell from saying stupid things.

eu sou... - eric dier/dele alli (G; archive-locked) → Dele is um idiota but so is Eric. Pining ensues. footballers watch: eurovision 2019 - multi-ship (G; archive-locked) → What it says on the tin. [Pairings include: Carraville, Hendollana, Gerlonso, Deledier, and other random cameos.]

꧁GEN FICS꧂

klopp in the kop, forever - jürgen klopp (G) → Jürgen Klopp, the normal one, is about to live a normal life, for the first time in his life.

vignettes: takumi (G; archive-locked) → Second day at Anfield • Daemon!fic aka His Dark Materials/Football RPF

⟡ domitrent headcanon - who's naughtier, domi or trent?

⟡ domitrent headcanon - valentine's day

⟡ domitrent headcanon - who fell first

⟡ domitrent headcanon - dealing with injuries

⟡ domitrent headcanon - sex positions

⟡ domi and trent headcanons - fashion styles, shopping habits

⟡ domi, trent and jude headcanons - jealousy

⟡ trent and jude headcanons - food habits, sweet tooth

⟡ cheeky - domitrent

⟡ the prince and the scouser - domitrent

⟡ queen's gambit AU - domitrent

⟡ anfield is a cauldron - gen!fic

dividers created by @cafekitsune | other graphics resources

[pbandjesse]

We are on the cruise!! And I am so ridiculously tired and also dizzy. It's crazy pants. But I am also having a very good time. I am also just so very very excited to go to sleep.

I did t sleep amazing at Jess's. The room was a bit to warm. My body hurts a bit. I woke up a lot but it was fine. My alarm would go off at 8 and I got up and would say hello to Jess. I took a quick shower and felt a lot more human.

I was feeling kind of sad though. My body is being very weird and confusing and I don't know what's up. I didn't want to feel unwell or uncomfortable on our trip. I would take some Tylenol and try and remain positive.

Jess had some last minute tasks to get the house ready. We decided to leave my keys just in case Nick needs to move it. And made sure our things were packed properly. And pretty quickly we were on the road. Ice teas in hand.

It was a pretty easy drive to her parents. It felt weird to be so close to my parents but not see them. I have requested that we stop there on Saturday when we are back from the trip.

When we got to the Barnes' home we would leave out things in her car for now. Going inside to say hello and hang out for a while. We wouldn't be leaving for an hour and a half. So there was a lot of debriefing and chatting and catching up. It was nice. Jess's brother can be a lot, but I don't mind to much. And Kerry is great. Tom, Jess's dad, said we would stop at Wawa before we got on the road so I was very excited about that.

And because I was excited I got us to leave a half hour earlier then originally planned. We would spend some amount of time Tetris packing the car. We have the whole small truck pack packed. And then me and Jess packed in the back row with both of our suitcases. Then Kerry and Scott in the middle row with their big suitcase. Then the parents up front. We were pretty tight but not uncomfortable.

We went to Wawa and got sandwiches. I got spicy chips and pickles on the side to share with Jess and Kerry. And we had a pretty nice and easy drive. We had lots of laughing and story telling. I listened to music and made a playlist to share with Jess. Because although we have been friends for 13 years, we don't have a lot of overlapping musical taste. So it was a fun little project to try and pick a bunch of songs I like that I thought she would also like.

When we got to the cruise port I was nervous! But it ended up being a wildly smooth and easy process. Even if Scott got very very upset when he had to take his belt off for security. Me and Jess quickly drank the last of our ice tea so we didn't even need to worry about tossing it. And got checked in really fast. It was painless.

And we were lucky that our muster station was right after the gangway so we got to finish the safety stuff quick and went right to our room.

It took us a minute to find our room but once we did I was really pleased! It's nice! Like it's dated for sure, an older ship I guess.

But it's cute! And we have a window! And lots of storage. And a couch. It's neat.

I have the bed on the left if you are looking at the window and Jess has the one in the right where the sofa is. It's really cute. But man was it hot in here. It took a while to get the AC to kick in but later, when we would come back, it would cool down significantly.

I wanted to fully unpack before we went to do anything else. Jess would struggle to figure out where she was going to keep her stuff. She brought a whole bunch of magnet hooks though and we are using those all over the room.

Kerry would come over from next door and Jess would braid her hair. And she would eat us come over to see her and Scott's room later on. But for now we were going to go search for our drink package things. Jess needed a lunch card and I needed a cup. So after Kerry helped us get on the Internet, we were off.

And we found ducks! Over the whole day we would aquire 5 ducks. 2 I found right away. Then our room attendant, Nadine from Jamaica, gave us one, then Kerry found one and gave us that one, and finally I found one right at the end of the day. I am very excited to find ducks again!! It's such a nice little thing to focus on.

The ship is a bit wild. It has such a mall in the 1980s fell to it. Lights and music and shops and people. It's a lot!! But it is also really fun.

We would run into Jess's aunt and cousins. Who I haven't seen since they were 3 and 6 respectfully. And they are 13 and 16 now! Mieke has grown up so beautiful and her older brother Dalton is quiet but seems very nice.

We would go and figure out the drinks and I got my cup (I would get a color I didn't love at first but was able to swap it for a blue and purple one) and we would head to Jess's parents room.

Theirs is very nice! Fancy. They have a balcony and while we were in port we were able to see the Statue of Liberty! Which was really neat. We chatted with them for a while and decided we would go investigate the buffet situation.

My biggest confusions so far on this ship really is the food. The hours are very strange. And by the time we got to the buffet it was closed for an hour and a half?? So we headed back to the 5th deck where there was pizza. And we would all sit together and have a few slices. It was pretty good. But the space was a little overwhelming. We would help her parents figure out the app and how we can message each other.

Soon though we went out separate ways. We had an hour and a half until our dinner reservation and so we went back to our room to chill. Got cleaned up a bit. Enjoyed the view.

Kerry would come over for a little. But pretty soon we were off to the main dining room to meet the rest of the family. Because Jess's aunts and uncle and cousins would be joining us.

We beat them all there. And would get to our table. And man were we able to feel the boat rocking.

Everyone else would soon join. Sadly some of Jess's family are stuck in Atlanta because of the cloudstrike issue and so their flight was canceled 3+ times. I feel so bad for them. Especially because their bags made it to Newark still! But we still had 3 aunts, 2 cousins, and 1 uncle to add to the original group.

We would lose Kerry pretty quickly though. She had to go to the medical bay because she was so dizzy. Which ended up costing $250. I really feel terribly for her. Because like I'm dizzy but I think sipping water and laying down will fix me. Scott would bring her dinner back to the room though and she would rest.

I didn't love dinner but the company was very good. Jess's dad's sisters are great conversationalist. And I really enjoyed talking to them. I also enjoyed Mieka and hearing about the books she has to read this summer for school. Scott and Dalton were talking about TV shows. And I was having a nice time even if the rocking of the ship is a lot.

We would have three courses. I had spinach and artichoke dip for my appetizer. Tomato soup and a Caeser salad for my main. And Boston cream pie for dessert. It wasn't the best food but it was fine. But once we were done I requested we head back to the room and get ready to go hang out by the pool.

I figured today is the warmest day. As we are heading north. And I didn't know if we would occasion to swim again.

So we said goodbye to everyone and went back to our room. We got changed and got our crafts (my knitting and Jess's reverse coloring book) and went to the adults only pool.

And the water was warm and there was a bar in the pool we could sit at. It was just us and one other person. And we just talked and talked and honestly the nausea wasn't so bad in the water.

We were in there for a half hour. Until I got to chilled. And we dried off and went to find a nice place to sit.

We ended up on a porch swing. Which I loved. But Jess was still really dizzy so we moved to a couch. But that made me very dizzy. So we couldn't win. We would still craft for a half hour before deciding to hit the buffet before it closes at 830. This was a good move.

I would get French fries and it would settle my stomach. I would sip water and chat with Jess and tried to not feel so dizzy. But we were struggling.

We wanted to explore more but the dizzy and tired was to strong. We would started walking. Stopping for a piece of water melon (me) and a chocolate ice cream (Jess). And went back to the room.

We walked all the way from the 11th deck to the 2nd where we are. And it was tough being so dizzy. Jess said it was like being drunk. And then we were on the wrong side of the boat and couldn't get over so we went back to 5 and then back down again. I found my last duck of the night. And then we were finally back.

Jess took a shower and I worked on this post. And I have been chatting with my husband the whole time too. I miss them terribly. But having this connection is worth any amount of money it cost. They are either Brandon and I'm glad they aren't just alone.

Now though I am going to shower and go to sleep. Tomorrow is a day at sea. And I hope we explore and see interesting things and rest and relax and it's just fun. I hope we aren't so dizzy and it's an enjoyable day. I hope you all have a great night. I love you all so much. Until tomorrow!!

[unmarked-credits]

Hey everyone, please to enjoy the following silly crap I wrote for @xinambercladx. This was her request for the Valentine's Day exchange on the Duros Hoes discord server. She wanted a story about Bane walking one of her OC's home. I chose Yenem - you remember this gal -

- and came up with this. Only seventeen days late! Go me!

Anyway, enjoy👍🏻Hope you like it @xinambercladx !

***

The Heirloom

"Thank you for coming on such short notice," Yenem said. She looked annoyed as she adjusted her short, form-fitting glittery purple cocktail dress. A huge, fluffy white fur coat was slung over her forearm.

Cad Bane gestured for the coat, shifting a tooth pick from one corner of his mouth to the other. He took it by the shoulders and held it out for her to put on. 

"Oh! Why thank you," she said. She turned to slip it on, glancing back at him over her shoulder as she did so. "Is there a charge for this?"

He smirked. "Free w' de bodyguard package - if y'tell me how y' found out there's a bounty on ye before I did."

She sighed. "Sometimes when I am exceptionally bored, I run my name against the holonet. Turned up on the bounty boards," she said, retrieving her data pad from her purse. "And that reception was exceptionally boring."

He glanced through the picture window of the art gallery they stood before. Inside was a quite lively, quite crowded cocktail party.

"Doesn' look boring."

"Trust me, it was nothing but a room full of poseurs." She sighed and looked up at him, doe eyed, and took his arm. "Get me out of here, Bane."

"Yes ma'am," he said, tapping the brim of his hat. "Y'sure y'wanna go back to d'hotel? You'd be safer on my ship." 

"My things are at the hotel."

"Y' don need yer things."

"One of those things is what they're after."

"An' y' left it in yer room?"

"In the safe," she said.

"Hotel safes ain't safe."

"Was I supposed to go to the reception with an ancient vase beneath my arm like a glowball?"

He paused a moment, then shrugged. "I reckon it would have been less boring that way."

"Tch!"

"Tch yerself!" he said. "Come on,  den."

***

"I've never been to this part of Coruscant," she said as they strolled over a metal walkway overlooking a canyon of city lights. "Beautiful, in a way."

"This area's all right," he said. "It gets worse the deeper down y' go." 

"So I've heard."

"Dere's a real good tipyip stand couple blocks down."

"You want to stop for food?" she asked archly. "You seem pretty casual about this."

"Eh. De score on you is pretty small. We're not gon' be dealing wit any major players. Most of 'em will turn tail if de see you w' me."

"That's…reassuring."

"Dat's why you hired me."

"Indeed," she said, pressing close to him as they walked. 

He smiled slightly at this. "So tell me 'bout this hot vase y'got."

"It's not hot," she said. "I bought it perfectly legally at auction. But apparently it's a family hierloom and said family is desperate to get it back. I offered to sell it to them, and for only a slight profit. But they seem determined to obtain it by other means."

"So dey're gon' chase whoever has it?"

"I assume so."

"Hmm," he replied. "Well, you're makin' it easy for em in dat coat."

Yenem frowned. "What about my coat?"

"It's huge n' bright n' … foofy."

"Foofy?"

"Yeah," he said. "Y' look like a leggy wampa."

"Excuse me?"

"What?" he asked, smirking. "It's a compliment."

She balked. "Surely you can come up with a better compliment than that."

"Sure, sure," he said. He went silent for a moment as the walked past a well manicured hedge full of bright flowers that led up to the hotel. He picked one. 

"Yer the prettiest sheep I ever saw," he said, grinning, handing her the flower as they entered the hotel. 

"You're a terrible date," Yenem said, accepting the flower.

"I'm a great date," Bane said. "Y' wanna make dis a date, dat's a different pricin' structure."

"Oh?" she asked, intrigued. "What's the going rate for a date with Cad Bane?"

"Well, dat depends," he began, but stopped short, clocking something across the lobby. Yenem turned to follow his gaze. A human boy of about fourteen leaned wide-eyed against the lobby bar with an open clamshell full of tip-yip skewers. He looked startled to see Bane.

"Who is that?" Yenem asked.

"A little shit," Bane grumbled, gesturing the boy over. He scowled but obeyed.

"Boba!" Bane said as he approached. "What are y' doin here?"

"I was in the neighborhood."

"Dis job is kinda low rent for you, ain' it?"

"You're here," the boy shot back. 

"I ain' here for a bounty. I'm here to buy a vase from my lady friend."

Yenem turned to Bane in surprise.

"You're … buying a vase?" Boba asked skeptically.

"Sure am."

"Ohh," Yenem said, pulling her data pad from her purse, "Yes, he is. I'm drafting the bill of sale right now."

"Why do you need a vase?" Boba asked.

"Fer flowers."

"Since when do you have flowers and put them in vases?"

"You don't know my life," Bane replied haughtily.

Boba frowned. "Actually I do know your life, and -"

"Point bein -" Bane interjected, "is dat dis vase is now property of Cad Bane, and if de family yer workin' for wants to take it up wid me - and not her -" he said, gesturing to Yenem, "dey're more den welcome to. So you run along now an' you tell 'em dat." 

"Thumb print here," Yenem said, handing Bane the blank pad. He pressed his digit to the screen and handed it back to her. 

"See?" he said. "All mine.  Now get lost, Boba."

Tch," Boba said. "Whatever. Low paid job anyway. Later, Bane."

"Wait," Bane said.

"What?"

"Gimme one of those," Bane said, plucking a skewer from Boba's takeout box.

"Hey!"

"I said get lost," Bane repeated, shooing Boba away.

"Gimme my tip yip back!"

Bane tore a piece off the end of the skewer with his fang. "Fuck off, Boba," he said around the meat. " An' you tell de people yer workin' for -"

"Yeah yeah I'll tell 'em," Boba muttered. "Fierfek."

The boy stalked out of the hotel shaking his head.

"Well," Yenem said, bemused. "You made short work of that."

"Yep. Shouldn't be a problem for ye anymore."

"Elegantly handled."

Bane tapped the brim of his hat. "Whaddya say we head upstairs an' have a look at 'my' new vase?"

Yenem smiled slyly, pulling him towards the turbolift. "It's quite the piece," she said. "Has a naked lady on it."

"Y' don' say?" Bane grinned.  "I like it already." 

[teeto-peteto]

Fun question: Pick five random champions and take them on a road trip. Do they make it to their destination?

im back from the dead

OKAY This is funny and in order to make it completely random i'll let this league randomizer pick the champions.

So we got: Akali (Oh no) / Gragas / Leona (Mother of the team so far) / Shyvana / Caitlyn.

Okay this is an interesting group and there's more girls i have imagined.

Alright, so, roadtrip. On car. I assume we are talking in a very funny scenario of champions being their clunky selves but with a nowdays car wich is already amusing.

Leona drives clearly, she's responsible, she's a bit of a mom. She has the playful snarkyness and the responsability.

Gragas and Caitlyn argued about getting the copilot seat but Leona ended up picking Gragas.

Gragas IS a passanger princess. He would listen to the gossip, talk gossip about freljordian comrades. He would point to take the left path and then get it wrong so they have to pull back. He eats the snackies and then fall asleep for the 80% of the trip. A true king in my eyes.

Akali is of course the child of married couple in this situation. The 'are we there yet?' 'Im hungry'. Shyvana would try to be modest, not participating much in conversation and trying not to be a bother. Caitlyn is the polite towards the rest of them but Akali rubs her the wrong way wich might make her increase her voice tone. Basically sisters coded. Shyvana being the old sister coded, Caitlyn the middle sister coded and Akali the younger sister coded.

Akali and Caitlyn would fight cause they both want the window seats but Shyvana asked for one of them, eventually she politely agrees to sit on the middle of Akali and Caitlyn.

Here's a small conversation im thinking about:

Akali: God, how long until we get there? We've been here for ages. Leona: I know, i know, but we are almost there. Caitlyn: Leona please slow down, the signs stated a velocity and we are above it. Leona: Oh, right, sorry! Akali: Do not listen to her! There's literally no one on the road we can speed up, it wont do harm! Caitlyn: God you're not only absolutely annoying but you also dont respect authority.

Akali: Fuck your authority you dont even respect it how am i supossed to take you seriously? Caitlyn: Me?! Akali: Because your thing with Vi was surely super legal... Caitlyn, visibly flustered: That's not-!

Gragas, quickly turning his head back to the backseats: Wait what's between you and Vi? I think i fell asleep during the explaination of that.

Leona: Akali, please be respectful, authority and legality are a bit flimsy in Runeterra and there's nothing bad with wanting to endorse it...

Akali: Well, you could say that, assuming your thing with Diana was also not forbidden and that you were'nt breaking any type of rule...? Gragas, quickly turning to Leona: Diana and you what? Im so lost.

Leona, gritting her teeth: How about we all stop talking for a bit and i put some music on the radio... Akali, turning to Shyvana: Arent YOU going to say anything?

Shyvana, on a low voice: Well... I guess what matters is that we arrive safely, i dont mind lowering the speed... Caitlyn: See! She's in my side! Your argumentation is weak!

Akali: Of course i asked damn Jarvan IV girlfriend...

Shyvana, flustered: Prince Jarvan and I's relationship is entirely professional...

Akali: Professional my ass! Gragas: HOLD UP. Please summarize every single ship is happening here cause im not understanding.

Caitlyn: ...whats a ship?

Gragas: Oh like... when two people have like... romantic tension and you think they're a couple...?

Shyvana: Gragas? Could you pass me some chips?

Gragas, handing Shyv a bag of chips.

Shyvana: Oh these are good, what flavour are they?

Gragas, looking at the back of the package: Mustard. Braum recomended me these he said they tasted great.

Shyvana: ...

Caitlyn: What?

Shyvana: Im allergic. Allergic to mustard.

Leona, quickly stopping the car and putting her shield up: COVER UP, QUICK!

Shyvana transforms into a dragon, breaking the car from the inside as she becomes bigger in size.

So... To answer the question: Would they make it to their destination?

Yes. Most likely. Not by car anymore though.

[kiljoius-writes]

Found You Alive

AO3 | FFN

Full YOTP Series Found Here

Paring: Hinata Hyūga x Kiba Inuzuka

Summary: “What…what am I supposed to do with this?”

“It’s a goldfish, Hinata. Dump it in a bowl and feed it!”

Hinata's got no clue how to handle a brand new goldfish. She barely knows how to work a dishwasher. There is one person who can help her.

May Prompt: Pet Acquisition

Word Count: 4k

Rating: Teen

tw: pet death (not Akamaru)

“What…what am I supposed to do with this?”

“It’s a goldfish, Hinata. Dump it in a bowl and feed it!”

Hinata holds the clear plastic bag up to her eyes with a wide frown on her lips.

Ino had jokingly given her, her last ping pong ball to bounce into the cups of water that circled around in a tub. To Hinata’s dismay, she had successfully sunk one in a cup that contained a goldfish, and now she was the (not so) proud owner of a carnival goldfish.

“Don’t you want it?” Hinata asks weakly, holding it out towards Ino, who immediately throws up her hands in protest.

“Hell no!” Ino turns her nose up, gently pushing the plastic bag away. “I don’t do fish.”

“Then why did you…” Hinata trails off, recognizing the futility of the question before she finishes it, then brings the bag back to her chest. “I have to take it home now, then.”

“Wait, what? Whyyy?” Ino whines, shoulders slumping as Hinata begins walking past her. “Hinataaa~”

“It’s cruel to keep it like this!” Hinata declares as Ino follows after her.

Ino huffs, pouty, crossing her arms as she stops behind her. “Boo! Boo you!”

When Hinata gets home, she immediately follows Ino’s brief instruction to put it in a bowl with some extra water, then sighs out through her nose at the realization she doesn’t have fish food. She doesn’t even know what fish eat, much less how to take care of one. So, she grabs a lid for the bowl, punches a few holes in it (does it need holes? She has no idea), covers the bowl and sets out for the one person who she trusts to help her figure out how to take care of another life form.

“Why me?” Shino asks when Hinata presents the fish to him. “I am not particularly…fond of fish.”

“I just thought, since you take care of so many bugs—”

“Kikaichū.”

“—kikaichū, yes—that you know best how to care for it?”

“My beetles are chakra-eating insects,” Shino deadpans, not moving a muscle. “A completely different regiment of care is required for them versus…goldfish.”

Hinata deflates, feeling foolish now. Shino’s demeanor softens. “I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“I recommend going to Kiba,” Shino responds, nudging his head sideways. “Why? Because he actually has experience caring for a fish.”

“Really?”

Hinata’s genuinely surprised. How did she not know Kiba had kept fish? With that, she gives him a slight bow and he waves her off.

The way Kiba busts into laughter upon her silly plight frustrates Hinata. Why is no one taking the life of this fish seriously?

“Kiba, please,” Hinata sighs out, turning slightly as if to shield the fish from him, or maybe her hurt feelings.

“You know those things die in like, 24 hours, right?” Kiba gestures towards the bag as a sign he wants to take it from her, but it only makes her shield it more.

“It’s been 18 hours!” Hinata declares, frowning deeper now at his dismissal. How can so many people be so callous towards a living thing? She’ll admit that maybe the little fishes life is small, but she could never forgive herself for not at least making a solid attempt to keep it alive.

“Listen, Hinata.” Kiba places a heavy hand on her shoulder and she looks down at it, tries not to think that he’s just patronizing her. “Carnival fish are plucked, packaged, shipped, and dumped in standing water. Sick before you even get ‘em.” Hinata’s shoulders slump and she feels him squeeze one a little tighter. “A lil sad but that’s how it is.”

“Does it have to be?” Hinata asks weakly, turning her body back to him while holding the bag a bit further up now. She see’s Kiba’s face visibly soften, his hand sliding from her shoulder to his side, as if to concede. She bites her lip, widening her eyes a little bit because she knows he has a hard time talking back to her when she moons them at him. He clicks his tongue, one side of his lips tugging upwards in his trademark smirk and she knows she’s got him.

“Gimme a sec.”

Hinata smiles as he turns to grab his sandals, then snatches up his keys and wallet. He pulls the door shut behind him and locks it up like a good son and brother, then nudges his head.

“C’mon. There still some time before the pet store closes.”

“Thank you, Kiba,” she says it with genuine gratitude. She’s relieved because honestly, she needs someone to help her with this. Ino was never going to, Shino would if pressed but wouldn’t be much help, and her last resort would have been Hanabi, who would have found it funny to try out some weird experiments with the fish, like if it could survive in the lobster tank at the local seafood restaurant.

“Mhm,” he hums, guiding her down the pathways.

They get to the store and he already seems to know exactly what he wants her to have. He checks with her multiple times to ensure she’s got enough money to pay for it all, because, in his words, “gods know I don’t.”

In the end, they’re lugging around a far larger glass tank than she ever imagines having, loaded with fish food, cleaning supplies, an electric lamp, gravel and rocks, and multiple decorations Hinata thought would be cute to put inside. And somehow, another fish. Kiba said he thinks the little guy would like a buddy if he’s gonna survive this, and Hinata couldn’t say no.

“What’re you gonna name ‘em?” Kiba asks when they get inside and finally relieve their tired arms of the supplies.

“Names?” she asks, dumbly, stepping back. He looks at her with a smirk and nods.

“C’mon, give ‘em a better chance at life. Give it a name like you care about ‘em.”

“Names…” she repeats, quietly, tapping her lip as he gets to work unloading their supplies and setting it up. “You said this one’s a betta?” Kiba nods confirmation and she twists her lips. “I like Momo.”

“Momo,” he snickers, bobs his head slightly while he untangles the wires that will plug into the tank. Hinata starts cutting open the plastic of the decorations, what she thinks will be the most exciting part. “What about the man himself?”

“The goldfish?” she asks and he nods again. “Hmm…what do you think?”

“How ‘bout…Kotobuki?” Hinata tilts her head attentively at his suggestion. “Give ‘em all the good juju for a long life, right? ‘Cause you bought all this stuff.”

“Oh!” She makes a happy noise, her smile overtaking her face at his consideration. He’s so hardheaded and rough around the edges that Hinata sometimes forgets how thoughtful he can be.

Even if he’s destined to die, at least Hinata tried to make his last days a little brighter. That’s what she thinks when she carefully sets up a little castle inside of the tank, right next to a little plastic scuba diver. She looks at Kiba and smiles big. He double takes at her and returns it, pausing his task to reach over and ruffle her hair. She’s happy so she doesn’t even bat his hand away, instead leans into the touch. She doesn’t even notice the way his cheeks turn red when he pulls his hand back, but does see him wipe a hand over his mouth. He turns to the fish.

“Momo and Kotobuki,” Kiba says as he pushes the two little fishbowls together. They both swim to the edges of their bowls to come face to face and Hinata feels her heart grow inside of her chest.

One year passes and Kotobuki is huge.

Momo is still just a little guy, swimming along the tank while Kotobuki dominates the scene of the tank.

Kiba regularly visits, says he’s grown attached to them.

About one month in, Hinata got to do her “I told you so” sing song and dance. He thought it was cute and decided to let her have this win, knowing she was in for a lot more than she prepared for if the little fish survived this long.

Years.

He watches her happily tap only the best of fish food into the tank for the (not so little) fish. He leans on the doorway and watches her with a goofy look on his face that she doesn’t notice immediately. His arms are crossed and he just basks in her happiness. Makes him happy, too.

When she turns to look at him, she stops and her eyes crinkle. In a way that makes Kiba all mushy, because he thinks she’s too good for this world.

“I told you~” she sings in her soft voice and, even if that was the only thing she ever said to him ever again, he’d die happy.

Sure, when she first turned up on his doorstep with this stupid fish, Kiba thought it would be as simple as telling her to give it mercy and flush it.

But things are never simple with Hinata and Kiba likes it that way. So, he put on his little show of begrudging compliance with her whims and took her to the pet store to help the dumb little fish out.

Akamaru nudges his calf when he’s been staring too long and he lets out a little chuckle.

“Yep, sure did. Happy with yourself?”

“Honestly?” Hinata turns back to the tank and bends over, face to face with the goldfish. “Yes. I am happy.”

“Good,” he says, in all honesty. If a dumb fish makes Hinata happy, he’s happy. He pushes himself off the wall and comes to her side, bends over, too. Lines his face next to hers to look at Kotobuki. “Glad you gave him a shot at life.”

“You did, too.”

He blinks at the fish, who abruptly turns to look right at him. He tilts his head. “I just bullied you into getting a big tank and another fish.”

In his peripheral, he sees her face turns towards him and now both Hinata and Kotobuki are looking at him. He scrunches his eyebrows together before she speaks again. “It’s like you’re his papa.”

Kiba can’t help but laugh. Papa to a fish. Akamaru whines and—

Hinata’s hand wraps around his cheek and pull him sideways so that her lips can plant a kiss on the other cheek. Kiba freezes, eyes going wide as he stares right into Kotobuki’s eyes – nay, his soul.

“Thank you, Kiba.”

Her hand leaves him just as quickly and he can practically hear the panic in how she runs away.

Still, he stares at Kotobuki.

Akamaru growls quietly, a playful one.

“That just happened, huh?” he asks Akamaru without tearing his eyes from the damn fish.

Don’t be stupid. He feels it in the way Akamaru lets out a huffy breath and walks away.

Four years and Momo has passed.

Hinata feels it right in her guts. Kotobuki’s buddy is dead. The fish she adopted with her now-long term partner is dead. It feels so wrong.

“He lived longer than most of his species of fish,” Kiba tries to comfort her as she holds the plastic bag their dead fish is now in. She’s staring at the lake they’re about to put him in, where other fish can feed on his body, because that’s how nature is and they both agreed it would be best not to waste their efforts by flushing him in the damn toilet. It’s just not right.

“I know…” Hinata whispers as she feels him press a kiss to her forehead.

Kiba moved in about two years ago. Neither of them can really explain how their domesticity happened, they never officially established titles but they both know they’re monogamous to each other. Kiba jokes that the fish made them closer, but Hinata believes it. She got to see Kiba’s most tender self when he noticed an injury in Momo’s side, a cut. He frantically told Hinata to call the vet while he grabbed the net to get fish out, almost grabbing him out without somewhere to go.

He was so panicked about it, he did everything wrong, but Hinata saw the genuine concern in him.

He’s being strong for her right now.

They’re fish. It’s ridiculous to be so down about it and they both know it. But, Hinata really thinks this is why she’s fallen so deeply in love with Kiba. His tender, loving nature.

Akamaru, now an old dog, huffs next to her and presses his side into her leg. He’s never been fond of the fish, seemed to think it took too much attention from him. Kiba tells him that he should really be blaming Hinata, and he always bites at Kiba’s hand when he says it. Her hands shake as she kicks off her sandals and begins walking into the water. Kiba stands back.

It just feels so wrong to dump him out like this. Kiba can tell how hard it is on her because she’s not moving and several minutes have passed. He steps behind her and gently takes the bag from her hands.

“Let me do it.”

“People say fish can’t feel pain,” Hinata blurts out randomly, looking up at Kiba with glassy eyes. He raises his eyebrows at her but leans in to listen. “But I don’t believe that. Do you?”

“Nah,” Kiba responds, shaking his head. “I don’t.”

“Do you think he was in pain?”

She searches his face for answers because he’s gotten so good at schooling an expressionless face. He opens his mouth, closes it, then opens it again. “I really dunno, Hina.”

He’s being honest, she can tell. He doesn’t want to lie to her and say no, but also would never say yes. So she lets him take the bag from her hands, carefully from the opening, even if the fish is dead. He steps into the water and lowers it in, letting the plastic open up. Hinata feels tears in her eyes as she watches Momo’s lifeless body slowly pour out into the lake and she covers her heart with her hands. It feels so much worse than she imagined.

A moment passes before Kiba straightens out, twists the plastic into a rope and tucks it into his jacket pocket. He steps backward until he’s next to her again and rests his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in. Her head rests in the crook of his neck and it almost feels like he’s absorbing all of her bad feelings.

Kotobuki is suspicious of his new friend days later, hides behind the castle that is not nearly large enough to actually conceal his giant body. Hinata had been discouraged, thought Kotobuki would never learn to love another fish again. But a few weeks go by with the baby fish prodding at the big goldfish and Kiba tells her she was worrying for nothing.

Another year passes and Kiba can’t believe he’s a part of a family that just owns fish like it’s nothing. Close to the one year anniversary of Momo’s passing, Hinata tells him she’s pregnant and now Kiba has to come to terms with his future children growing up as both dog, cat, and fish lovers (Hinata had adopted a stray cat between when Momo passed and now). Kiba always thought wherever he ended up, he’d just have a yard full of dogs, both ninja and regular, that they’d surround him while he sleeps and it would always be loud with a house full of them and kids.

But now, he lays with a pregnant Hinata draped over his body, an old Akamaru on top of his feet, the stray orange cat tucked in a ball into the back of his knee, and Kotobuki looking at him from the tank. He thinks it’ll just be a matter of months before they end up with another cat or fish, even if he thinks it’s a bad idea to get another pet before the baby comes.

Because of the pregnancy, Hinata gets extra emotional when she thinks about Momo. It’s inevitable, every time she looks into the tank, she gets this little far-away look in her eye, and she probably doesn’t realize her smile fades. She still feeds the fish every morning and night and speaks sweetly to them, but Kiba’s taken over the task of tank cleaning. He didn’t realize how terrifying pregnancy could be for the man. Hinata hobbles around as if everything is perfectly normal and he nearly had a heart attack when he saw her trying to lift the 100-pound tank herself. Berated the shit out of her and forced her to sit back on the couch, deciding it was high time he learn how to clean the damn thing himself.

But otherwise, Kiba’s pretty damn happy. Outwardly, he seems like a grump.

Kiba feels Hinata’s nose nuzzle into his neck and he sighs, not because he’s tired, but because he’s content.

The day the babies come home for the first time, Akamaru insists on showing them to Kotobuki. Akamaru’s like the big brother at this point, overly excited to have little humans to push around and play with. It’s been a while since Akamaru’s interacted with human babies so Kiba has to give him a stern reminder that they’re not like puppies.

He hears Hinata giggle behind him when he stops in front of the aquarium and leans over with a baby in each arm. Kotobuki wiggles his way over and Kiba can never really tell what’s going on the dumb fishes brain, but he does seem at least curious.

“Akamaru thought the fish should see ‘em first,” Kiba tells her over his shoulder, smirking as she comes up behind him. She kisses his cheek and he turns his head quickly to catch her lips with his before she can pull away. Her giggle vibrates through the kiss and he wonders how this damn fish landed him in his position.

“I’m going to go shower,” Hinata says, quietly, leaning up to put another kiss on his nose. “Do not hesitate to grab me if something—”

“Yeah, yeah, I got ‘em!” Kiba nudges his head before standing up straight. She smiles her big smile at him and he feels the warmth in his chest.

He’s holding two little humans that he and Hinata created in his arms, how could he be anything except completely and utterly elated?

About 7 months later and the babies are speed crawlers. It kind of terrifies Kiba how fast they can go, not to mention their kneecaps banging away at wood and tile. Them getting into stuff has caused more than one fight between him and Hinata to the point that eventually, he had his mom and Hana come over to help him find every single possible baby harming thing in the house and secure it. Plugs in all the sockets, locks on all the cabinets and drawers, absolutely nothing left in baby-reaching level.

It was the same day Kimi had smacked Hima right in the face with a wooden spatula. Hinata had been at her wits end that day and seeing the red mark across Hima’s face had sent her into a panic and tearful tirade about babyproofing. Kiba couldn’t argue it with her. Running on 2 hours of sleep, he, his mom and sister babyproofed the whole thing while Hinata took the babies to Hanabi’s, telling him she was not coming back until the she could safely release them without worrying about a stray kunai or bottle of bleach ending up in their hands.

The next day, she returned, and after her own thorough investigation, she let the babies free and fell to her knees, knocking out on the carpet immediately. Kiba didn’t have the heart to wake her up and move her, figuring if her body is this exhausted, it’s better to leave it be. He watches Akamaru crawl over her legs and make himself comfortable there, then the cat, and inevitably Kimi (or maybe Hima, Kiba’s eyes are bleary with sleep) sits next to her and leans backward, eyes fluttering closed with her pacifier dangling from her lips.

Despite the lack of sleep and overall bad feelings for the last week, the scene is way too sweet for Kiba to just smile and look away from. He grabs the camera and snaps a few differently angled photos to capture the sweet memory. He looks through them for a moment before frowning, deciding even if the house was babyproofed, he should know where the other kid is. Puts the camera down and doesn’t have to look far. He panics slightly when he sees her standing up, leaning against the tank, but remembers they put a really good lock on the top and secured it to the wall to ensure it would go no where, even in the worst of a quake.

Walks over to the barely able to balance baby and puts his hands on her little waist to keep her upright as she searches the tank. He spots the birthmark on her neck that lets him know it’s Kimi and he whispers to her affectionately, “lookin’ at mama’s lil fish?”

She wheezes slightly through her pacifier, making those little goo-goo ga-ga noises babies make, nothing coherent, just a happy noise and Kiba’s cheeks hurt from smiling. He reaches up to undo the lock on the top, then rolls up his sleeve to dip his hand inside. He wiggles his fingers before Kotobuki wiggles his way over, pressing his little fish body against his fingers. Kiba chuckles because it always feels weird to pet a fish. Kimi makes a little “aaah” sound and Kiba decides what Hinata doesn’t know can’t hurt her.

He takes his hand out, wipes it on his sleeve, then pulls Kimi up. While holding her above the tank around the stomach, he helps guide her hand into the water. Kiba gasps and laughs when her squealed giggles result in her pacifier falling out of her mouth right into the water. He snatches it and tosses it behind him without thinking, then goes back to guiding her hand. Her laughter bubbles out as he gets the hand closer to Kotobuki, who quickly approaches it and tries to press into it like he always does. When Kimi squeezes her hand as if to grab, Kotobuki whizzes away and Kiba wheezes.

“Can’t pick up fish, Kimi,” he tells her gently, helping her pull her hand out slowly to not splash water everywhere. Kimi smiles big as she’s set back down on the ground, and it reminds him of Hinata. He pulls the wet hand into his shirt to dry it, then locks up the tank while Kimi climbs back to her feet, holding onto the table the tank is on for support. He watches her and feels his heart nearly explode when she presses a kiss to the glass where Kotobuki is staring at her from. It’s open mouthed and spit filled, leaves a messy print on the glass, and it just makes Kiba’s sentimentality skyrocket.

He pulls her into a bearhug because it’s all he can do with all the love he’s got stored inside of him. Wishes Hinata had been awake to see it, but also thinks this was kind of just a perfect moment. He pulls Kimi up into his arms and lets her chin rest on his shoulder, then stands so he can sway with her. Once he feels her body go limp, he sits down next to Hinata and lays Kimi against her opposite side, then drapes his arm around essentially his entire family.

He feels Hinata stir next to him, grumbling slightly as she adjusts herself. He sees one of her eyes open slightly, and a small smile form. He leans in, places a clumsy kiss on her lips and listens to her soft giggle that he feels so incredibly lucky to be able to hear every day of his life.

Whispers against her lips, really soft, “I’m glad the damn fish didn’t die.”

As her hand reaches up to slide over the stubble on his cheek, she whispers back just as softly.

“Me too.”

[putschki1969]

Hi Puts!

How are you? Hope everything’s good!

I’ve been reading your past tutorials on how to get tickets to Japanese lives (thank you for amazing coverage btw I was so confused!), because I want to apply for tickets for Kajiura’s 30th anniversary lives.

Applying for FC right now (filling in the form with address etc). I kind of understand Japanese as I studied it before(although it’s gotten a bit rusty), but I don’t have an address and telephone there. I do have a few not close friends/ friends of friends who are in Japan right now, but I’m not sure if they will be willing to help if it’s too much of a fuss (and I wouldn’t want to bother them so much anyway!).

So I wanted to ask, if for example, I ask a friend to enter their telephone and address, will it be a one-time confirmation and they won’t have to do anything except help me with phone confirmation? Or will they continue to receive notifications etc on their phone afterwards, and will it be more than one time confirmation? Do I also have to be connected to them real-time for verification because the time zone difference is three hours between where I live and Japan so might be difficult? 🥲

I’m debating whether I should do everything myself with a help of somebody for address and telephone or just use proxy service for a fuss-free option (but it’s a bit pricey for me).

Also, if it’s not hard for you, could you please advise me if they accept foreign card payments?

Thank you so much!

Best wishes!

Hi there! I am good, thank you!

For the fan club you do need a Japanese address and phone number, however, there is no need to confirm anything so you can just take any random phone number. You do receive the occasional item (e.g. membership card, fan club magazine, etc) from the fan club so the Japanese address must be legit. I use a service called Tenso. They provide you with a Japanese address (including a stock phone number) and they ship packages overseas. Please note that they cannot make registrations, payments or purchases for you.

All fan clubs associated with YK and Kalafina accept foreign credit cards as payment method so at the very least, you do not have to worry about that.

Please be aware though that joining the fan club is only the first step. Getting tickets is much harder. Once you are a fan club member, you can take part in the fan club exclusive ticket lottery. Those lotteries are always held by authorised ticket agencies and rarely by the fan clubs themselves. In most cases, tickets are distributed by "e+" or "Lawson Ticket" but in case of the upcoming YKL #18 tour, "Lawson" seems to be the preferred ticket agency. I mostly have experience with "e+", I haven't gotten a ticket via "Lawson" in ages and don't even know if my account is still working but I guess everything I know about "e+" also applies to "Lawson". But please take this stuff with a grain of salt, I am by no means an expert in the matter.

For a few years now, all those ticket sites have required a registration with a Japanese phone number. That wasn't the case back in the day. Thankfully, the verification process via SMS/call is a one-time thing. The number itself may be required for log-ins etc but no further verification is required. As long as you don't use the digital ticket service/mobile app your friend won't be bothered again. I cannot remember how exactly things worked when I first registered on "e+" but I am pretty sure I was connected with my Japanese acquaintance in real time. It may or may not have been necessary to enter a code...

I am afraid you will be hard-pressed to find a proxy service that still offers to apply for, purchase and pick up tickets in Japan. They pretty much stopped offering that service when it became much more difficult to get a Japanese phone number and when Japanese ticket sites started having a bunch of stricter requirements.

As for payment methods, I am not 100% sure about "Lawson Ticket" but I know for a fact that almost none of the official ticket agencies accept foreign credit cards so you do have to rely on someone in Japan to handle your payments (either by registering their card in your account or by paying at the convenience store). Lawson does accept foreign credit cards for fan club membership fees (Keiko's fan club is paid via Lawson) so that gives me a tiny bit of hope that their ticket service also accepts them but right now I have no way of checking. As I mentioned before, it's been many, many years since I have last used Lawson for tickets. I've actually just tried to log in with all my old info and it doesn't seem to work anymore *sighs* Might have something to do with the fact that when I first registered on Lawson, they didn't have that phone number verification requirement. No idea to be honest but I guess it's proof that I am struggling just as much as everyone else. Oh well, I am not planning to take part in the fan club lottery anyways since we don't know any details about the guest vocalists yet and they also haven't announced any of the additional performances. I need to know more before committing to anything. I am aiming to take part in the general lottery which will most likely have more ticket site options than Lawson. This way I can apply using my e+ account.

I don't know if this was helpful at all. This stuff is tricky for me as well so unless I actually go through the process of applying for a ticket, I can't really give any good advice.

Wishing you a ton of luck!

[random-meme-bot]

Special Halloween Post (AKA "I talk about one of my favorite games that just so happened to be slightly Halloween related")

Sorry for the wait, I'm ready to take you now.

Where? On the Four year journey of the soul, of course.

Im Random-Meme-Bot and tonight I will be your travel agent, so, prepare yourself and please, relax because tonight we won't be dancing a "Cheerfull Tango", but more of a:

[I will try to keep this as Spoiler free as posible, but since it's imposible to talk about a piece of media without spoiling some of it, the only part's I will be covering are the ones that the Manual tells you about (These come in the form of locations and plot points that I will try to make as subtle as posible to keep the surprise)]

Wellcome to "The land of the Dead".

Im sure you have many questions right now, like "Where am I?" "Wasn't I supused to go to heven/hell?" and of course the always classic "Journey‽" & "Travel agent‽".

Well...

You see, death isn't as simple as TV shows try to make it look, there is no "Heaven" nor "Hell", once someone dies (AKA: You) their soul it's brought to the "Land of the Death" by a Reaper of the Departmen Of Death [D.O.D] (AKA: Me), here you will have to embark on a 4 year journey to the 9th underworld, the land of eternal rest, I can't lie to you, it will be hard and dangerous.

Unless...

There is a way to make your journey easier, you only have to buy a travel packet from us with the money you were buried with, or if you were really a good person on life, you coud even get a ticket to the number 9, our deluxe express train, "To the land of the eternal rest in 4 minutes instead of 4 years".

Let me check your archive...

Hmm... it seems that your only avaliable option is our cheepest one, "The Excelsior Line"

What's this you say? That you were a saint in life and you deserve something better than a cane with a compass?

Don't be silly, if that were the case it woud apear in our records, or are you perhaps implying that the D.O.D steals their clients packages for profit?

I will let that slide for now, and continue as It seems I'll have to show you the locations that you will be traveling through.

A Dead aesthetic for a Dead World.

On your journey you'll experience the many wonders that this land has to offer, all of them presented on a beautyfull "Art Deco" arquitecture mixed with the Aztec roots of this world.

Your first stop is the Capital of the Land of The Dead, "El Marrow" were the D.O.D offices are located, full of souls that have abandoned their journey or just work in hopes of some day being able to afford a better travel package, today is "Dia de Muertos" so, why don't stop and enjoy the festivities?

The Main Entrance of the D.O.D [It was so expensive that the year it was build we didn't get any bonuses, so you better enjoy it]

The Carnival of the "Dia de Muertos" on the main street [Go on and get some "Bread of the Death" I think you deserve it]

When I said the compass on the Excelsior cane™ was gonna come in handy I wasn't liying, you will be needing it if you plan on entering our next destination, "The Petrified Forest", the most Dangerous part of your Jorney* a labyrinth of caves and branching paths full of creatures so deadly it woud scare even the toughest Australian fauna.

*Due to the worring rise of "sprouted" souls this may not stand true, the D.O.D is not held responsible for any close to 2º Death encounters you may have.

Say Goodbye to "El Marrow" [Because you might never see it again]

Don't worry if you lose the compast, there are signs to guide you [Please stop stealing the Sign Posts, It's the third one this week]

Our Final location on the tour is Rubacava, "The City that never Dies". You better get accustomed to it, because here is were you will have to board a ship to the other Edge of the World, and there's only one a year so chances are you will have to prolong your stay here.

"The Blue Casket", a night club were a lot of ""diferent"" poets hang out and pass the time [If the "Dead Poets Society" isn't your thing, I've heard a new Café is opening soon...]

"The Feline Meadows", the biggest gambling establishment in all land of the death [Just don't gamble your death away, ok?]

Let's customize your package to your liking.

Are you by any chance a native speaker of any of these languajes?

English, Français, Italiano, Español, Português, Deutsch.

Then you my friend are in luck because, you will be able to experience your journey entirely in your native tonge, and at no extra cost too!

Our original version of the "Grim Fandango" travel package was starting to show it's age so we "Remastered" it. Giving it better textures and lightning as well as better controls, and the ability to not randomly corrupt your safe file [We only want the best for our clients] and if you're the nostalgic type you can change to the OG graphics with only the press of a button, want to know more about the creation of "Grim Fandango" then you might be interested on the Concept art gallery and Directors commentary.

Enjoy the trip, & who knows maybe you'll be back next year...

So now you are ready to experince "Grim Fandango". "An Epic tale of Crime and Corruption in The Land of The Dead", as our marketing team calls it.

Why didn't I brought up the narative earlier?

Well, because "Dead men tell no tales".

Grim Fandango remastered is avaliable on:

PC/PS4/PSVita/XBoxOne/IOS Android (Is not longer avaliable on the Play Store so only as APK)