#I could've put more effort into this but nah

[chuluoyi]

jealousy, jealousy...

- nanami kento x reader

your husband seems to be immune to jealousy, and you've pretty much convinced yourself that he just doesn't have it in him... or does he?

genre/warnings: crack, fluff, jealous!nanami (he is in denial), implied suggestive content, mentions of pregnancy, gojo cameo (i just can't pass up the chance of him annoying the heck out of nanami ahaha)

note: based on this ask, this is a little continuation to the secret wife! and this is in the same universe as love entries so gojo is married to the love entries reader! :)

series masterlist | oneshot masterlist

By all means, Nanami Kento is not a jealous man.

He knows his worth. And he knows you. Out of all people, you wouldn't try anything with anyone.

Even more so with Ino. He knows him too, and there is just no way.

So... he really shouldn't get riled up, especially when it was his shitty senior who tried to set him on fire—

"It's still beyond me, how you managed to bag her," Gojo remarked with a bark of snort. Both of them shared the same table in this high-end bar, an afterparty for the school's graduation, but Nanami was seriously considering to move after Yaga left earlier until this clown came. "And keep her a secret too. I mean, that's so foul! If I were your wife, I'd divorce you on the spot."

Nanami threw him a pointed look. "The feeling is mutual. I feel bad for her for putting up with you too. And please don't be gross and say things like you being my wife. It's appalling."

Gojo's wife being his close friend and former classmate was what foul, Nanami thought. Sure, he would acknowledge Gojo's relentless efforts, but still, anyone willing to be this shameless paintbrush's wife must lead a really daring life.

The strongest sorcerer rolled his eyes. "Nah, I'll have you know that my married life is full of bliss. I have a proof, look at my—"

"If you want to show me hickeys, I'll seriously report you for harassing me."

And to that, Gojo merely whined and pursed his lips, and Nanami finally had some peace. He really entertained the thought of going back, because Gojo wasn't exactly a fun company, and this was getting late, until…

"Hey, Ino—the one who always follows you around," Gojo suddenly said. "Whoa, you're letting him close to your wife too, huh?"

Nanami whipped his head to where you were, and true to what Gojo said, you were indeed there, talking animatedly to his junior.

You were all smiles, and Ino was every bit as excited as you were. There was nothing remotely wrong with how you were conversing. You two looked like a pair of really, really good friends.

Ever since word of your marriage got out and became common knowledge, you've been receiving the kind of attention that Nanami wasn't sure he preferred. While he hadn't intended to keep it a secret, he certainly felt that a more private life was preferable.

But the thing was… weren't you too close with him? If it were up to him, Ino could've had at least two steps back. What were you discussing anyway?

"You're a lax husband, Nanamin, heh," Gojo whistled, totally grinning because he won this fight. "I know you probably think it's harmless, but a puppy is still a dog, you know~"

A puppy... is what?

That night, that phrase was what going through in his mind over and over as he chugged down his drinks.

No way, no way... It must have been because he had too much to drink. He couldn't possibly!

The next time he felt that unpleasant feeling, it was on one night, at the comfort of your home.

Both of you had just finished watching a movie, still lounging on the sofa. You were blissfully humming, texting away on your phone at—Nanami looked at the clock—11 p.m.

Now, now, he wasn't one who would be checking your phone or such, but he couldn't deny the curiosity within him, because you weren't usually texting anyone this late at night.

"Hehe~" suddenly, you giggled and Nanami glanced at you in wonder. You seemed to be having fun.

Who... are you texting?

Despite telling himself he wouldn't meddle in your affairs, he gruffly cleared his throat. "Dear, it's late."

"Oh?" you whipped your head to him. "Oh, yeah..."

You were genuinely confused, your husband was folding his face as if he was sour of something. "Kento? What's wrong?"

But suddenly, his face lit up into a smile, kind of forced though. "Ah, nothing..." And suddenly he lifted you up from the sofa, making you almost yelp as you dropped your phone and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Time for bed."

However, what you didn't realize was that your phone's screen lit up just as the sender replied to your message, and Nanami caught a glimpse of it.

Ino.

A puppy is still a dog, you know~

The heck?

"Kento?" you asked again, and he immediately turned to you, unable to read the message. Still, his mind was reeling in many ways, and when he looked into your innocent, round eyes, suddenly he clicked his tongue, eyes slitting in dissatisfaction.

"Time for bed, dear."

Long story short, that night, your husband was somehow a little more aggressive than usual... even as he fondled you ever so softly at the end.

The third time, Nanami had enough.

He had just finished a mission when he got that call from Ino, informing him that you were at a clinic after nearly passing out.

Out of anyone else... how could you not call him first?!

He may be vexed, but worry was what clouded his mind the most. You were almost five months pregnant now, and to have this happening to you—

He walked in to find you lying on the small bed, your eyes lighting up when you saw him. "Kento..."

"What happened to you? Why didn't you call me?" his voice was rough, and your smile fell. You felt him gripping your hand tightly. "How can you—"

Ino, sensing his apprehension, suddenly intervened, "Uh, Nanami-san, it's not—"

Nanami turned to him sharply, causing him to gulp.

"We were... in a bakery when Y/N-san suddenly felt faint," the younger man explained. "Please don't be too hard on her."

"And why are you with my wife in broad daylight?"

"Kento, it's not what it looks like!" you squeezed his hand urgently. "We were just... trying to find a cake, you know..."

"...what?"

And that day, everything Nanami thought he knew was turned on its axis. Perhaps, if he wasn't thinking too much—if Gojo's words hadn't taken his mind, he wouldn't jump into conclusions this easily.

Your first wedding anniversary was just in a couple of weeks, and you had enlisted in Ino's help to find this one bakery that he swore sold only the best goods. Your texts to each other were solely about that—nothing more, nothing less.

"Aww, Kento~" you cooed as Nanami helped you into your shared bed once you got back home. "You got jealous, it's cute, and I'm happy~"

He huffed. "I was not jealous."

"Ehh, didn't look like that to me though~"

"Listen," he said, taking hold of your shoulders once he had seated you on the bed, looking straight into your eyes. "From now on, whatever you do... you have to contact me first, alright?"

"Oh—?"

"When you need something, when you don't feel well, when you feel like you might be in some kind of danger..." his tone was serious, emphasizing each word. "You have to reach out to me first. You don't go to Ino, Gojo, or anyone else—me. You go to me. I'm your husband, and I intend to fulfill that role well for you."

And he placed a hand on your tummy, gently caressing it. "And of course the father role for the baby too."

You clamped up, totally speechless. This unexpected development made your heart soar with a heap of giddiness.

"Yes!" Your smile was so wide and radiant that Nanami was sure he had started to blush too. Then you flung yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck in a hug. "And you know... you're already the best husband and soon-to-be father ever! So you don't have anything to worry about, okay?"

Ah, how nice. Nanami chuckled as he placed his hand on the small of your back.

"Mhm, and from now on, I'll take charge of our anniversary. You only have to take it easy, alright?"

And when you giggled, he thought having you in his embrace like this was enough to satisfy him—after all, he was a simple man.

Epilogue

"I know even Nanami gets jealous! Heh, heh, heh~"

Gojo laughed crisply, and Shoko snorted as they listened to Ino recount the story, with the latter scratching his head uncomfortably.

"I really didn't mean anything, and now I feel kinda bad," the younger man said, his head dropping. "Nanami-san seemed upset too..."

"Not many things can get under his skin," Shoko remarked. "I really thought he'd be more rational, but having an expecting wife must've taken quite a toll on him too."

"Nah, don't find more excuses, Shoko! Now is time to pay up~!"

As Shoko grumbled and Ino was lost in his own thoughts, a loud cough suddenly echoed behind them.

"Gojo-san... Ieiri-san..." Nanami leveled his unamused gaze on them, his glasses glinting in the light, causing the two gulp. "What are you two doing?"

[yesifuckfryingpans]

Was reading one of my fave webtoons (The Doctors Are Out) and this one frame screamed zosan so... SHITPOST TIME!

I could've put more effort in but... nah. Im too fucking lazy. Dont mind the shitty colors.

[etoiile]

WHAT MAYBE COULD HAVE BEEN

starring nagi seishiro!

synopsis: nagi has a nice life. its peaceful and he needn't work too hard, just like he likes it. sometimes, though, every once in a while, he sits around with his regrets thinking about what maybe could have been.

notes: i tried to write angst but it didnt rly work lolol

nagi is, for the most part, pretty content with his life.

its kind of a no-think-just-do kind of thing, which he quite enjoys. he goes to his 9-5 office job, comes back, tends to choki, eats dinner, plays games for a few hours, and goes to bed. then, the cycle repeats. its basic, sure, but there's nothing wrong with that.

except that there's, well, everything wrong with that.

now, don't get him wrong. he's grateful for his relatively leisurely life and enjoys the slow pace. he's a lazy guy, after all. a life full of action and emotion just wouldnt be very him.

but still, every so often, nagi will find himself wondering, daydreaming, thinking, about what maybe could have been.

about what maybe could have been if he decided to go pro with isagi and reo and chigiri and them. maybe then, he could be rich and famous. his mind could be surpassing limits and soaring to new heights. he could be a renowned soccer player like that.. noel no.. something.. guy? the really good one on tv that chigiri was talking about. he could be an inspiration to millions!

nah, nagi doesnt need wealth nor fame. hes fine with the humble lifestyle he leads. plus, part of the reason he enjoys said lifestyle is because he doesnt need to do much thinking. his brain can just relax and be lazy. in some ways, its better this way. thinking is such a hassle!

but then, he thinks about what maybe could have been if he'd tried harder in school. he could be working a high-paying job and could be living in a house. choki could have a family and he'd be able to spend more freely. think of all the games he could buy that he cant afford on his corporate salary.

again, nah. he still did pretty well in school without much effort. a corporate job may not be fancy, but its good work. plus, what would he even be doing with a house? his apartment has all the space he needs, and choki's thriving on his own! he doesnt need cactus friends. plus, having to care for a house and more cactuses would be such a hassle. not to mention the work you have to put in for a higher-paying job.

but sometimes, he thinks about what maybe could have been if he kept in touch with his friends from blue lock. he could still have late-night talks with chigiri, and spend quality time at the park with isagi. then, he could actually hangout with people. reo's away pretty often, so they dont hang much.

once more, nah! nagi's plenty happy with choki, reo, and the coworkers that hes become friendly with. he's an introvert, after all. too many friends would become too exhausting, and it would zap the peacefulness out of his peaceful life. even being with reo is a hassle sometimes.

all of it is a hassle. he's fine with the way everything turned out, really.

but afterwards, once he's lying in his bed, trying to submit to slumber, he finds himself really, really thinking about what maybe could have been.

about what maybe could have been if he hadn't decided that you, too, were a hassle.

about what maybe, just maybe, could have been if he picked up your phone calls every time, even when he was gaming. about what maybe could have been if he took time out of his day for you and only you. about what maybe could have been if he said 'i love you' more, and comforted and reassured you. about what maybe could have been if he valued you. treasured you. treated you right.

about what maybe could've been if he'd done all of it right. then maybe, just maybe, he could be playing the match of his life right now, with you cheering him on in the sidelines, crying out his name, waiting to go home to a place you deserve to be with a whole choki family.

about what maybe could've been if he just didnt declare it all to be a hassle, and maybe he could've touched the stars.

but for now, nagi sleeps. he has to go to his 9-5 tomorrow, after all.

𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐈𝐈𝐋𝐄 ©𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 please do not copy or repost my work on any other site. interactions appreciated! 🤍

[loosesodamarble]

how would nacht react or what would he do if he found out that his crush or s/o came from an abusive family.

Sorry for the wait, Anon. Hopefully the headcanons I share now make up for it.

Content warning(s): abuse in Reader's backstory; as such, there will be brief depictions of abuse (specifically emotional abuse/neglect)

..........

Nacht believed there was plenty about you to admire. You treated everyone with kindness. Or at least civility. Your smile was warm and beautiful. You spoke fondly of your loved ones and passions. When he spent time with you, he felt like a normal man.

He believed you were one of the few, rare, people that was good right from the start.

He fell in love with how you were good in the simplest but best ways.

One day, Nacht decided to express his admiration for you, possibly even confess. He called you "an amazingly kind person."

You stopped short and looked at him, brows furrowed and lips curled into a frown. "Nah, you've got it all wrong. I'm nothing special."

Nacht was confused but when you pulled away from the conversation, he knew it wouldn't be right to press you right away. But the seeds of worry were planted that day.

That worry grew when one day, when he tried to ask about your latest creative project, you brushed him off. And your kindness started to feel more strained. And you acted more restless, anxious even.

Nacht tried to approach you, but you brushed him off over and over. Eventually, he took you by the shoulders, looked you dead in the eyes, and begged, "Please, tell me if something is wrong."

You broke down in tears and through your sobs you explained how you'd visited your family and how unpleasant it was.

You had tried to explain your recent project to your parents but they brushed you off saying "okay, so are you doing anything that's productive?"

When you talked to your sibling about your job, they remarked that you could've "been doing better."

You were hysterical and ended up venting. About how they never had time for you. How you could never impress them. How invisible you felt at times.

"They were right when they said I haven't changed at all since they last saw me," you sobbed to Nacht.

Nacht let you vent. Let you cry on his shoulder. Hold onto him for stability. The intimacy he wanted with you had been achieved, but possibly in the worst circumstances.

Once you'd cried yourself dry, Nacht put an arm around you and whispered, "I'm sorry that your family has treated you in such a way. To think that the people who should've supported you treated you coldly, you don't deserve it."

Nacht now understood why you'd reacted the way you did earlier on, because you'd been led to believe that you weren't worth notice.

"I know this doesn't make up for your family's treatment, but I want you to know that you're wonderful and deserving of love."

His words were so soft and while somewhat unsure, there was a power to them that moved you to tears again.

After that conversation, Nacht would you rebuild your confidence. Small affirmations daily. Reminding you that he wants to hear about your life, even if it seems mundane. Stopping you from being too critical of yourself.

He wouldn't go overboard with praising you. He would've tried and realized it actually made you more self-conscious. But Nacht definitely lets you know that your efforts aren't wasted.

He would do his best to make himself emotionally available to you. When you need to vent negativity or ramble about good things, he'd be there to listen to you.

Nacht might be a little overly cautious and would ask you not to visit your family. Not for a loooooooong time. He doesn't want them to break your spirits all over again.

A proper confession would wait for another day. He does want to love you, openly. But you loving yourself comes first.

[yourfifitherealone]

In The Name of Love

The loud ring of your front door of your base echoed through into your room.

You groaned and looked on the full length mirror at your no effort sleeping clothes. You wore a blue shirt with a polar bear and purple sweats with yellow slippers and a cute pink camo bonne. You wobbled to the door and felt the cold door nob in the palm of your hands as you slightly opened your front door. There, blocking the door from opening fully was a tiny square-shaped brown box covered profusely in clear tape on all 4 sides of the box.

Curiously, you cautiously picked up the box and took it inside. You, for some reason couldn't find the box cutter so you used the largest knife you could find die to thinking a regular sized knife would have not opened the box well. You cut the box open and saw blood pour over some guys face.

The blood was poling over the box that the tape was holding inside you threw the box onto the floor causing the head to roll out onto the floor for anyone that could've been there to see. "What the hell?! Oh my God!" You panicked, where would you put this? How long was that literal severed head on the doorstep for anyone to just pick up, How could you clean up all this blood?

Who did this?

You felt anger boil over you. The pure audacity for someone to purposely send you this. This couldn't have possibly EVER been by accident, so how, who and why. You went to your most trusted friend to help you with your secret. Your Australian 6"1 assassin friend was probably the best with secrets he didn't seem to freak out much considering there's a bloody head on your carpet right then.

"Ya know who it was?" "If I know who it was wouldn't you think I would've told you by now! That's what I'm trying to figure out" you answered. "Dont be angry at me be angry at the head on your white carpet." You facepalmed just imagining how much work it'd take to get even half of that stain out. "I got some cleaning stuff that will definitely help with your little uh incident while you look for the bloody axe swinger I'll help clean it up for ya, how's that sound?" "Sounds great thank you so much. I owe you one" "You owe me a ton!" He laughs

You walk into the hall exiting Sniper's room determined to find out who was messing with you. "Hey yo, Y/N!?" Someone called. You looked up to see a confused Scout squinting at you, "Oh! It is you How are you?" You walk over, "Well someone sent me a...thing, felt a little threatening, trying to figure out who it is, you know?" "Nah sorry bro but hey if you ever do find out...call me up and we'll end em. Mess em up so hard their own mother won't recognize them, right?" He chuckled abd turned to you awaiting your response. "Hell yeah. Remind me to always call you when I have a issue!" You said walking off to go interrogate some more. "Violence is the answer" he said with a playful wink and finger guns.

After a hour of asking questions of to your other teammates you finally got to Medics room you knocked heavily. He walked out with a smile plastered on his face. "Yes, commande ?" "You know what that thing that was sent without a address, to my house, was. That. You?"

He grinded wider, "Maybe.."

"Did you like it?

You tackled him into his medical room in frustration and bling rage. You punched him about 3 times before he tossed you into the wall. You tried to regain your lost balance by using the wall behind you but your dizziness due from the throw forbid you from doing so. You slumped back down onto the floor and passes out.

When you woke up you were on the cold metal table hands tied above your head. In the corner, Medic is breathing heavily with his hands curled by his face poorly hiding his red cheeks and deranged smile. "W-what are you doing?' His footsteps echoed in the room as he walked to the table you were bound to, "I'm doing... something. A project I would call it." "What type of project, Medic?" Those words fell out of your gritted teeth. "To see how long for you, liebe would it take for stockholm syndrome to kick in."

Your eyes widened, "They'd find me, the others. They wouldn't leave me here they'd come looking for me." "Yes, unfortunately, the would. I won't let them tho. I promise."

"No,no,no I don't want this! No! Why are you doing this?! What did I do to-" "Nothing! Nothing at all, Liebe! Absolutely nothing... just be absolutely perfectly irresistible. And I could lie and say "I'm doing this because of science and the medical field " but truly, I'm doing this in the name...of love."

[karmas-chameleon]

Chapter 12!

I fell asleep in bliss, slowly succumbing to drowsiness next to the man I loved.

I woke up, still drowsy, laying next to a snoring man in the middle of the night. It wasn't uncommon for me to wake twice when I slept, once in the morning and once hours before. But I was usually in my own bed, in a room that was completely silent - or, weeks before, in a room that only let in the muffled sounds of the city. I wasn't used to hearing snoring right next to me, and somehow that was infinitely worse for my continued rest than the occasional car alarm.

I tossed, I turned, I held my pillow over my ears. I considered waking Manfred, or going back to my room to search for earplugs. I did neither of those, instead remaining on my side of the bed, rolling around endlessly and feeling the minutes turn into hours. Eventually, at some point, I must've fallen unconscious.

When I woke a second time, it was to Manfred opening the door. He was coming in, not leaving. Coming back in. At some point, he'd left the bed, and the room, and not woken me. That was all I managed to process with my exhausted, sleep deprived mind.

I groaned as a greeting.

“Good morning, Miss Martin. I…assume your sleep wasn't quite as restful as mine?”

I let out another groan.

“Perhaps a bit of tea with your breakfast will help. And you should get up soon regardless. Staying in bed until noon certainly won't help your next night’s sleep.”

“Mmrph…m'kay,” I grumbled, and slowly rolled my way out of bed.

I followed a fully dressed and well put together Manfred down the hall in my pajamas, knowing my hair likely looked like a bird tried nesting in it. It hardly mattered to me, as I'd eaten breakfast in the manor in that state before. And perhaps, I supposed, it would let Franziska see that Manfred was in no way dating me just for my looks.

Thinking of her, and the inevitably awkward meal I knew we'd have if she was downstairs, made me begin to worry. But Manfred was prepared, as though he'd read my mind.

“I spoke to Franziska earlier this morning. I managed to argue for custody of your bedroom to be returned to you, in case you'd like to sleep there again. And she should be more willing to speak with you today. I've not persuaded her into friendship, exactly, it's more like a second chance for a first impression. Make the most of it.”

As we headed to the dining room, I wondered exactly what kind of impression I'd make looking and feeling as tired as I was. If I managed to speak one complete sentence, I would've been lucky.

I dragged my feet toward the table, where three plates of pancakes sat along with Franziska. My usual seat - or her usual seat, perhaps - was taken, so I headed to the opposite end of the table once more.

“G’morning,” I said, my words slightly slurred despite my best efforts.

“Guten Morgen.” She smiled at me, though I was too drowsy to tell if it was meant to be welcoming or a sneer at my expense. “I didn't realize taking your bed would have such an adverse effect on your sleep.”

“Nah, ‘s not the bed.” I picked up my fork and used it to point at the one sitting between us. “He snores.”

I'd hardly comprehended my own words before I heard a giggle from Franziska and an indignant protest from Manfred.

His face was already slightly red. “I- I don't- you could've woken me up, Miss Martin. I wouldn't have been upset at you for trying to get a good night's sleep.”

“Papa, how could you?” Franziska said with affected horror. “Disturbing a lady's sleep like that, how rude.”

I watched as she wagged a finger at her own father, and began to giggle myself. Manfred looked back and forth between us, beset on both sides by laughter. But he smiled back.

“At least you two can agree on something. I didn't exactly intend for that ‘something’ to be making a mockery of me, but…it's a start.”

I began eating my breakfast with a smile, enjoying the pancakes with some milk and my usual morning tea. It was an unusual meal, for the manor. Some kind of meat, eggs, fruit, and rolls were what I'd come to expect for the start of the day. Pancakes alone didn't fit that mold - a special request from Franziska, perhaps. As I tasted just how delicious they were, I made a note to ask for more another day.

“I’ve looked over your room, by the way,” Franziska said. “Everything seems to be in order. You're free to use it.”

I glanced up at her, and nodded. Knowing the von Karmas, that was as close to an apology as I'd ever get. But it did raise a question for me.

“You looked through my stuff?”

“I wasn't rifling through your possessions, if that's what you're implying.” Her expression hardened back to its former self for just a moment, and I feared I'd just ruined my good impression. “I was merely looking around, at your posters, and those plushies on your bed.”

She looked away from me, and from Manfred, even as she continued to speak. “I saw you own some nice pony plushies. They're cute.”

“O-oh. Yeah, thanks, I got those a few years ago.”

Her gaze turned back to me in an instant, fixing me with an intense stare. “Have you ever ridden a real horse before?”

“Huh? Um…maybe once, when I was a little kid.”

“Would you like to? Today?”

I certainly hadn't been awake and alert when I entered the dining room for breakfast, but I was after she suggested that. I blinked at her, then glanced at Manfred, who was looking proudly at his daughter. I realized then that this was her apology - an offer to make up by sharing her knowledge and experience, not in law but in her hobbies.

I smiled, and nodded. “Sure, I can try.”

“Good. You can meet me outside when you've gotten dressed. I'll have everything ready.”

With that, she got up from the table, leaving an empty plate behind her as she walked out of the room. I looked back down at my own plate, finishing up the rest of my pancakes and tea before standing. I hesitated then, glancing at Manfred for some kind of reassurance.

“Take your time getting ready. And try not to worry, Miss Martin. Franziska seems to like you more already.” He gave me a warm smile, which I tried to return.

As I walked back to my old bedroom for a change of clothes and my usual morning routine, I was optimistic. I'd managed to make a good impression, at least according to Manfred. I could certainly see a difference between the Franziska of this morning and the evening prior, but it didn't seem that I was anywhere near the level of ‘friend’. Perhaps I could get closer by learning more about her hobbies.

I left my room with a light T-shirt, long pants, and my hair tied up in a ponytail. I hoped my old running shoes would be good enough for horse riding; if they weren't, I'd have to borrow something.

I returned to the first floor to find Manfred waiting for me, and together we exited the manor to circle around back where I'd never explored before. There was a wide open space lined with trees, and another building that had been hidden from my sight - a stable, presumably. Standing just in front of the stable was a horse with a familiar rider.

I hadn't gotten to see many horses in my life, not really. There was the occasional group of them by the roadside in Texas, certainly; one could hardly drive an hour in the state without spotting some variety of livestock. But those were far away, and gone in a blink. This one wasn't flashing past my eyes at seventy-five miles per hour. It stood before me, still, majestic, with a dappled gray coat and black mane. And its rider was just as elegant, her hair covered by a riding helmet and her heels exchanged for rugged yet stylish boots. Her whip had made its return, attached to her hip, and it somehow managed to look even more intimidating.

The horse walked toward me as soon as Franziska spotted me, and I had to fight the urge to back away as the frightening figure sitting atop a large, unfamiliar creature began to loom over me. I wondered briefly if horses could smell fear like dogs. The last thing I needed was another animal that terrified me and knew it.

“Meet Frauke,” Franziska said with a smile. 

“Uh…h-hi?” I smiled nervously and raised up my hand in a weak attempt at a wave.

Manfred took my awkwardly waving arm, and guided it slowly toward the horse. “Reach out your hand, like this. Let her smell you.”

I held my hand up for the horse, managing to keep it from trembling too much more than usual. Frauke turned her large head toward it and sniffed. After a couple puffs of warm air, she bumped my hand with her nose and raised her head, regarding me calmly.

“Um, does that mean she likes me?” I asked, wiping my hand on my pants more out of habit than anything on it.

“Enough to let you ride her, for a short while.” Franziska swung a leg around and dismounted in one swift motion. “You should be thankful. Frauke is much more willing to suffer fools than her rider.”

“Th-thanks, erm…Frauke.”

“But you'll need to be properly equipped first.” She turned on her heel and walked toward the stable. “Come along.”

I was unsure if she was talking to me or the horse, but both of us followed, with Manfred in tow. Just outside the stable, I saw everything laid out for me on a small set of steps. It was fortunate, as the smell of the nearby building was detectable even from there. I had to assume it wasn't bad by horse stable standards, given the level of cleanliness the rest of the estate was held to, but it was still a bit too much for me.

Franziska stopped by the equipment and handed me a helmet similar to her own, if a bit more worn. “Try this on. We're nearly the same height, it should fit well enough.”

I did as she told me, and found it only slightly tight. It seemed the rest of her old things fit similarly, with her boots barely allowing my feet in, and her gloves so tight I couldn't even try to wear them. But riding gloves were more of a suggestion than a necessity, it seemed, as we proceeded without them.

“You're prepared now,” Franziska said. “Physically, at least. But the best equipment in the world won't make a foolish rider less of a fool. Just follow my instructions, and try to stay calm.”

“R-right.” I nodded to her, somewhat embarrassed that my anxiety was so obvious. It didn't matter if the horse could smell fear or not, if I was shaking like a leaf the whole time. 

I double-checked my helmet, and my boots, and everything in between. Nothing felt off, aside from a somewhat uncomfortable tightness to the borrowed equipment. But when I looked back to Franziska, I realized something was missing.

“So…do I need a whip too?”

I felt immediate regret as her icy expression returned. “A whip? Why would you require a whip, fool?”

“For, um- for the horse? Isn't that why you've got one?”

She looked appalled, and reached down to grab it. “This is for punishing those whose foolish actions have earned it. And that is a realm occupied exclusively by humans.”

I mumbled an apology and thankfully Manfred came to my side as I stared at the ground.

“Miss Martin isn't used to being around horses, but I don't believe for a second that she'd hurt one. Especially not dear Frauke. Give her a chance for a short ride, and I'm sure she'll show you there's nothing to fear.”

“I'm not afraid, Papa. Certainly not of her.” When I looked back up, Franziska was looking at me with an expression that looked halfway between a glare and a pout. “If you're fond of her, I'm certain she's not some sort of criminal who enjoys random violence. But I'm starting to believe she's simply too…incapable to ride Frauke.”

I frowned, but didn't protest the point. I had no particular desire to get on the back of a beast large enough to crush my skull with a well placed kick. The only reason I'd agreed was to bond with Franziska, and it was becoming clear by then that such a thing was out of the question.

But Manfred wasn't as willing to let the subject drop.

“If you could ride her at five years old, I don't think it's out of the question to give someone else a try.”

“That’s not a fitting comparison, is it?” Franziska crossed her arms. “My age didn't make me any less capable. There are plenty of things I could have done better than this woman at five years old. At that age, I already knew the legal system of two countries better than most adults.”

“Franziska.”

I knew that tone. Not from Manfred, but from my own father - that sort of ‘I’m not mad, I'm just disappointed’ voice that never failed to make me feel ashamed of my current behavior. I could tell it had the same effect on Franziska, as I practically felt the secondhand embarrassment emanating from her.

She whirled around, and stood by the little set of steps, leading Frauke to take her place in front of them. “Come. I'll tell you what to do.”

I nodded, filled even further with anxiety, and slowly ascended the steps. It wasn't as far to the horse’s saddle then, but it still seemed like a giant leap to me.

“Put one foot in the stirrup, then swing your leg around. And be careful. If you kick Frauke trying to mount her…” Franziska didn't elaborate, I assumed only for the benefit of her father, but I received the message loud and clear.

I raised my leg, shaking slightly as I put the borrowed boot in the stirrup. With my hands on the saddle, I awkwardly lifted my other leg around and slowly sank into a seated position. I tried to breathe a sigh of relief, but sitting high off the ground on an unfamiliar creature wasn't exactly calming.

“There,” Manfred said, standing far below me. “Not exactly the elegance of an experienced equestrian, but no harm was done.”

Franziska moved ahead of the horse, looking up at me. “Not yet, perhaps. I'll give you a short time to experience riding, and then you're done.”

I nodded wordlessly as she made a little clicking sound to urge Frauke on. The moment the horse started moving, I felt yet another rush of anxiety as I tried to remain balanced. My back was stiff, as were all the rest of my muscles, and it was a fight both physically and mentally to remain upright and calm.

I was led by the treeline, just a short distance from the stable, before we turned around and Franziska picked up the pace. No longer was the group walking, as Franziska started to jog and the horse began to trot or canter or whatever a horse person called that speed. For me, it was anxiety inducing.

Manfred was left in the dust and I was essentially alone with an animal and a woman wielding a whip. At a higher speed, every bump and shake was made even worse. The only thing I could do was cling to the saddle for dear life as even words failed me.

Eventually, mercifully, we slowed, first to a walk and then to a stop beside the steps. My knuckles were still white.

“So, how did you like that?” Franziska smiled up at me, and though it didn't appear to be a malicious expression, it seemed to me as though it should've been.

“...Can I get off now?” I asked quietly.

Manfred was nearby when we reached a stop, and hurried toward me as soon as he heard my wavering voice. He was at my side, helping my boot out of a stirrup and coaxing me off the saddle. And when I was back on land, his arms were open for me to fall onto his chest.

“It's alright, dear,” he whispered. “It's alright.”

“She…doesn't like horses? What sort of person doesn't like horses?” Franziska asked, sounding slightly less icy and much more puzzled.

“She's very fond of animals, really. Some of them. Perhaps not the sort that most like.” Manfred rubbed my back as he spoke softly. “Do you want to tell Franziska about your favorite animal, Miss Martin?”

I pulled away from him reluctantly. “My favorite animal? I…I dunno.”

When I looked back to her, Franziska was smiling slightly. “Now you've made me curious. What do you like, if not horses?”

“Um…spiders,” I mumbled, looking down at the grass as I spoke.

I feared I hadn't been heard, but glancing up confirmed that I had. Franziska was looking at me like I'd gone mad.

“Spiders? You can't handle riding a horse, but you like spiders?”

“Hey, th-there’s nothing wrong with them.” My voice was raised slightly, not because of any reduced anxiety or sudden self-confidence, but because I felt I had to defend those who couldn't stand up for themselves. “Spiders only bite people when they feel threatened. And even if they do, they're not gonna kill you. Nobody's died from a spider bite in this country in decades.”

“Not being dangerous is no reason to like an animal by itself. Surely you have more than that to back up your claim?”

I nodded emphatically. “I do. They eat bugs, like the ones that are actually annoying or harmful to us. And people still hate them, because- because what? They're ugly, or scary? Well, I don't think so. I…I think spiders are cute.”

I saw a smile spread across her face, and her gaze shifted from me to Manfred. “I think I'm starting to understand why she likes you. And I can believe it, now.”

“Pardon? What does our relationship have to do with spiders?”

“Nothing, of course. So, how exactly did you learn about this love for spiders, Papa?”

I turned to see Manfred smiling fondly. “Ah, she found one in my office and told me about it. I assumed she wanted me to come over and crush it, but no, she only wanted to give me information about the thing. She told me the species of it and took a picture before she finally picked it up with her bare hands and took it on an elevator ride downstairs.”

I crossed my arms and frowned. “Well, I never told you the species, just that it was in the family Salticidae. Anybody could've told you that.” I looked back and forth at two clearly skeptical faces. “...Anybody who knows some spider stuff, I mean.”

“Regardless, she spent the next hour or so telling me various spider facts. And showing me pictures which she assured me were adorable.”

“Because they were.” I nudged his arm gently. “I’m not the only one who thinks that, either. Plenty of people think jumping spiders look cute. And tarantulas are kept as pets, doesn't everyone think their pets are cute?”

“I’ll have to take your word on that.”

I pouted at him for just a second before looking toward Franziska. She was grinning at us, and I found myself smiling back.

“Sorry about the riding lesson and all, Franziska. I guess I'm better with animated ponies than real ones.”

She simply shrugged. “It's not a problem for me. At least I can say you have good taste in children's cartoons. I loved watching those little ponies - for a short while, until my career began.”

“Right,” I nodded knowingly. Then, I hesitated, trying to do the math, and my eyes widened. “Wait, does that mean you only got to season two of the show?”

“That was over a decade ago. I can't recall exactly-”

“Oh, you'd know if you finished season three, trust me. Hang on-” I glanced back and forth between Manfred and Franziska. “You’re here for the whole weekend, right? That's enough time to watch some of the best episodes and maybe a movie or two. I can set it all up on the TV, and uh, get access to everything we need.”

I was grinning so widely I hadn't realized how far ahead of myself I was getting. As the silence became a bit too awkward, my smile faded.

“Unless you…had other plans. Sorry. You probably don't want to spend your vacation binging a kids show.”

Manfred shook his head. “I'd hoped Franziska could spend the weekend getting to know you better. Whether that's through riding horses or watching animated ponies isn't important to me.”

“I’ll take care of Frauke for just a little while longer,” Franziska said, smiling again as she came to the horse’s side. “And when I return, I expect to have entertainment waiting. Papa, you'll be joining us.”

“How did I get dragged into this?” Manfred muttered.

“C’mon, it'll be fun!” I grinned as I began to remove my borrowed equipment. “There’s loads of lessons about friendship, and teamwork, and-”

He let out an exaggerated groan, and I laughed. Somehow, the morning had worked out better than I'd expected, though it took a bit of time. All it took was finally showing a bit of my true self - through a love for spiders and ponies.

(Bonus pic of my actual pony plushies lol)

[sharonisthebettercarter]

So much suffering could've been easily avoided, had Billy's musty ass learn to calm the fuck down and instead of moping around, he should've took anger management classes before s3 ep 3. I understand it's very common for younger kids to look up to adults because Ryan probably admired Billy and now he let Ryan down.

If Ryan shuts Billy (and Shitlander) down next season, I'd say he deserved it. I know Billy's life have been hard too and I had compassion for him as well, but that's never an excuse to treat others like Billy did to Ryan in ep 3, s3. (I'd be) Glad Ryan (might be) mature enough to realize it was Billy's own fault that he decided to gaslight him.

Ryan has every right to cut billy off because at this point Billy is going to deflect and turn his back on everybody (like he did in the comics). Billy (like 🍇lander) will just brainwash Ryan with his own issues and turn him into a minion and i will never trust him around kids after using that infant and threatening to unalive children too. Yeah he didn’t kill a child (yet) but Ryan (nor any child) should get mixed up in his toxic bullshit. I wouldn't be surprised if he successfully unalives Neuman's daughter, like the unsentimental douchebag he is.

holy fuck anon! putting all your asks together in this but i'll try to respond as best i can between them (gonna put your shizz in italics), lmao there is a shit ton of ranting and i may do a little myself, don't mind me~<3

first off, that grapelander killed me because i have a sick sense of morbid humor but also wkuk the grapist

but i feel you, i get what you mean and for sure, billy is an enraging character that somehow manages to be less well adjusted and more fucking damaged than homie while having genuinely less garbage to show for on his 'shit has happened to me' roster. not even saying that as a dig at the guy but it becomes very very clear (and infuriating) when you actually read the comic or even just watch back the show. specifically, he doesn't have a single soft moment where he's being genuine with someone that isn't becca and it dives hard into that disturbing element.

the difference being that homelander has the power to do far far worse with much greater ease, but the craziest thing about that is that he generally doesn't and even in some cases (obviously not always, but james stillwell even mentions this in the comics, that homelander has incredible control over his temper) shows a remarkable sense of self control. and i think it shows for more that there's so much homelander chooses not to do at any given moment while billy is spending 1000% of his time and effort working towards these things, including chipping away at homelander's control (which as everyone keeps warning him is gonna fuck EVERYONE over!)

but billy is pretty much the next stage of what would happen to homelander if he actually did earn someone's love/learned to actually love them back. he latches on hard and it's borderline parasitic with how bad he can be and how he makes them his lifeline without actually addressing or working on any of his issues. his whole damn schtick is to drag homelander down to his level so they can duke it out. losing becca was a catalyst, but the reality is that it stopped being about her a long time ago. the real issue is his pride

that should be clear enough in his willingness to alienate ryan AND potentially and actually destroy whole buildings full of thousands of innocent bystanders just to get to ONE guy.

and the thing is, alienating ryan was completely unnecessary. it was billy being a preemptive cunt of 'i'm eventually going to hurt/disappoint this kid, so let me just make it easier on myself by doing it on purpose now instead of actually trying because trying is too hard.'

WELP. y'know billy, maybe if you hadn't done that, the kid would have kicked his grape daddy in the balls and left with you at the end of the season instead~!

but it should say enough that he actually said the words (more/less) "nah, it'll be years before ryan can take him(homelander) on" in regards to using him like a weapon against said grape daddy...

I hope fans turn against trashlander when seasons 4-5 rolls, after its revealed homelander is a shitty, unsupportive parent who's ruining his kid. I also hope they realize Creeplander was given a choice to go to the light side, leave vought, and call them out on their shit, numerous times, yet he refused and then killed or tried to kill the people who offered him such. This man has made his choice MANY TIMES, AFTER choosing to fall to the dark side in the first place. Why should he be offered yet another chance? And why would he expected to make a different choice? And even if he did, why should he be considered eligible for redemption? He can’t un-murder all those innocent people, he can’t un-torture his victims. He does not want to be redeemed.

But if they wanna keep having the flying creep in a wholesome light, then go do that, mother teresa. Imma see this dude get folded by kryptonian dogs

listen... i gotta level with ya...

as much as trashlander is accurate, and as much as i look forward to the coming chaos and destruction and blood and death~<3<3<3 excuse me~

that is an unlikely hope when we got fucking rape apologists in fandom. just. i gotta be real.

and homie's not gonna be the shitty unsupportive type parent. don't get me wrong, he will absolutely be shitty. but less 'you're a fucking disgrace and i'm going to abuse the shit out of you' so much as... 'my kid is perfect and can do no wrong ever' entitled parent nightmare. he's going to be supportive... in all the worst and most horrible ways, enabling the shit out of ryan to be terrible (you remember that little smirk ryan got at the very end of s3? think more of that type of shit, tho i do think it may become too much for ryan to handle, right now, homie is the only person telling him what he would want to hear and providing him with **dangerously unconditional 'love' while he's in a very vulnerable place)

that being said, there haven't been instances where homelander's been presented with any real chances to leave vought. and i'm going to say this because it comes from a place of first hand experience with abuse.

homelander is trauma bonded to vought. yes, they abused and did so much terrible shit to him, but they were still his 'parent', his 'mother' or 'creator'. and when someone is trauma bonded to family? especially in a place where *family* and love is the ONLY thing you long for and the ONLY thing that you have? it is NOT that simple to be presented with an 'out' and just take it.

especially when you have nowhere to go.

abused is a precarious place to be put in (never say that people choose this, they don't). because it is not always obvious, it is not always painful, but it is unbearably blinding. it is a vicious cycle that continually hurts you. but it also offers you comfort, and love, and everything you could possibly want... without ever actually following through or instead giving you the bare minimum to keep you addicted. and most people don't realize they are STUCK in the cycle until it's dug its claws in and won't let go, or until it's gone too far.

but it is NEVER a choice. it is a specific psychological response and preconditioning that is extremely difficult or even impossible to break through and break free from.

abuse victims never want the abuse. what they do want is to *fix* the situation and not abandon the people they love, even if they shouldn't love them. but it is not an easy place to be in, and it is not a choice either.

homelander doesn't want to abandon vought because they are all he's ever known, he doesn't want to be abused either. he wants to fix it, and even if that's a lost cause, he doesn't see that because vought robbed him of the ability to see that. by making him BELIEVE in them and having control of his life since before he was even born.

he never had a choice and he still doesn't have one because no one has shown him that he does.

sorry for the lecture, but for me that subject hits way too close to home and any time i can correct misinformation or prevent victim blaming, i am who i am.

anywho. agreed that 'redemption' may still not be the best choice for homelander's situation. not to say it's impossible, but he also DID become an abuser and has hurt countless people. and you're right, none of those people will get a second or their lives back. but i think there is also something to be said about what homie could do to make up for it/how many more he could save if he did make different choices (even if unlikely, lmao)

comics homie is actually a different (even more fucked up and tragic story) who honestly might have chosen to go back to being 'good' post epiphany/reveal if he'd had the choice, but i digress.

i am looking forward to him flying off the deep end tho~<3

Ryan needs to ditch Homelander (and Billy) to secure his future and live his own life because at the end of the day, it's all about control (especially when it comes to the flying cunt). Ryan will not only lose his childhood, but lose his adulthood as well, the past and future being stolen from him, unless he manages to escape the flying cunt (and Billy too because fuck him and Ryan has every right to not forgive a poor excuse of a human being too) to make his future secured and his life not ruined any further than it is. Also, tell vought to fuck off too.

I also hope he find some strangers who will genuinely help him and treat him right than those scumbags (and Mallory too because she sus).

Get orchiectomy when he's of age because if I came from a fucked up bloodline and surrounded by fucked up people on a daily basis, I'd do the same too (I mean I wouldn't blame him at all if he did that)

Change his identity legally and move to a different ass Country because start anew.

agreed that ryan is pretty much better off without any of those mofos lmao. like honestly, he's too good for half of fandom advocating for his fucking death as they dick ride soldier boi. i don't care how handsome any of them are, ryan is a fucking child, becca's child, not a goddamn hot potato to be tossed around or cooked.

castration is a little extreme even with his powers i'm gonna say. i mean i kinda get what you mean but at the end of the day, we are not our bloodlines. ryan isn't his father and you def recognize that so i think he could move on with his life without necessarily going that far.

mallory is def sus but i still love her and i actually think the likeliest option is that ryan ends up saved after the whole scorched earf debacle (for real this time) and then adopted by annie and hughie in the end.

Despite the fact that Ryan really has been given the shit end of the stick in the reality he calls life. I wouldn't be surprised if he eventually becomes something without forgiveness, and he certainly becomes a part of some unforgivable acts, but really haven't been given the chance to thrive and succeed. It's gonna be sad, because I think Ryan would have been entirely different had he been given a chance. But chances can possibly be too late for him, or something will happen that emphasizes that.

However, depending on how seasons 4-5 goes, he should grow a backbone ditch both homelander and Billy because he can do better w/o them because all that poor boy wanted is to find a place where he is loved, safe, and appreciated. Yet, every time he finds that, it gets ripped away from him. I can't imagine what outcome he will have to suffer next. I fear what comes.

...

i almost don't want to do this to you but the irony is just too fucking poetically palpable.

LIKE FATHER. LIKE SON. and so the cycle fucking continues... jesus fucking christ fuck me.

'growing a backbone' is easier said than done. one of the pain points of the general hero genre is to teach us to protect those who cannot protect themselves. and what the boys does is take that ideal and put it through the meatgrinder of reality. we often don't do this in real life.

that's supposed to sorta be the lesson taught with lenny. he didn't 'choose' to 'sink', no one does. you could argue that the world is tough and people need to be stronger (like billy's toxic piece of shit sperm donor), but i would argue the world needs to be softer for those that won't be able to keep up or who are vulnerable.

one suicide is too many. what are we really doing if we let so many people fall that far?

EVERYONE deserves to feel loved, safe, and appreciated... and it's the lack of those things that CREATES monsters of men.

I've seen kids manage to leave their fucked up situations, despite difficulty. It's going to be simple though. Besides, not all strangers are bad, right? In fact Ryan had better luck with those he doesn't know very well- like kimiko- than he has with his own family. Buuuut, who knows how long can that 'luck' last.

Sure he has his maternal aunt and grandmother, but welcome him w/ open arms?? If a child comes to your doorstep, saying they're you're nibling (the child of your sibling) and grandchild, along w/ your sister and daughter dead because they accidentally killed her?

Because his entire life has been out of his control from being raised in a hermit place because of satan dad and vought, to the death of his mother, to his mom's so called 'husband' gaslighting him, and now satan dad most likely forcing Ryan to distance himself from others, and then said father involving Ryan in murderous plots and promising him family in return which he will never provide. Yeah, Ryan had zero control.

If it ever happens, a group of people (or supes such as super-duper), could be the point where he actually has a say, his freedom, and a support network and hopefully he embraces it but... It might not be a happy ending, depending on how things go in his future. And that is depressing.

Better to leave the hell he's in now than staying. Also, he can defend himself (for obvious reasons), until he finds some strangers who genuinely want to help him, rather than hinder him and the best way to survive in a new environment is to learn from the locals. He should fight tooth and nail to cut ties w/ shit from his past and no longer associate with it as he starts to get better because if I was him, I wouldn't even go back.

Unless something in him clicks in, which he feels he has to go back, as if there's (a) haunting shadow(s) constantly following him. People underestimate the power abuse can have over a victim. You even got oppressed nations or people glorifying their own oppressors/abusers in the real world. he might not be raging and trying to kill anyone right now, but he might clearly mistrustful.

i'm gonna take a moment to get a bit more serious and mention survivor's bias. (i'm also assuming you mean '*not* that simple' hopefully??)

but keep in mind and this more a guesstimate outta my ass so don't quote me on it. but while it's great that those kids get out of those shitty situations, keep in mind that for every 10 kids that do, you might have a 100 more that don't. (just look at the foster system or pedo church rings, sorry, yuck, i know... but there are a lot more child victims that suffer in silence than we could ever know)

and for ryan, yeah, i for sure hope that he is able to get out of it all and get into a better situation, at the same time you have to remember that he is a just a child. he is not going to manage that on his own and things are likely to get worse before they get better.

i don't think becca's family would reject him tho because shocker, i REALLY don't think they'd be like BILLY~! especially with ryan being the last piece of becca left. i do think they might have some fears or be wary, but i do think grams and sister would just be happy to have him and the closure

LMAO AT 'SATAN DAD', can vouch for that. tho to be fair... satan is a GREAT daddy~ but an AWFUL dad... ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) (i cannot resist and i am not sorry.)

but yeah, i think the ideal here would be for ryan to NOT become either of his 'father' figures

and what is all this shit at the last part??? see you DO get it! just try not to forget that billy and homie are also products of their upbringing. but they WERE ryan at one point too. innocent kids that didn't deserve what the world gave and *didn't* give to them...

billy got out of it but carries every fucking scar with him and it still has an ironclad hold on him. homelander still hasn't gotten out. ryan is a snowball waiting to happen.

ugh, this shit gets depressing but you ranted, i ranted, we all had good fun and great discussion of these shitheads and i am looking forward to the new season~!

fuck me this is long, and thanks for comin' to my ted talk.

[haldenlith]

Some people are probably tired of me shouting into the void about this, but my mind is buzzing angrily about it.

Quick context: I am going back to school, so I can have a nice shiny piece of paper that says I'm a "Super Legit Know What I'm Talking About, I Paid Thousands For This Stupid Piece of Paper" Graphic Designer. (To be fair I've actually learned a lot so far.)

I'm in this one "distance learning" (ie online) class, "Typography II". We were given a big project that was very obviously our Final at the beginning of the year, in January. It was to write/research and design an entire book, 40-page minimum (including covers and table of contents). It came due last week. (I was very much done and submitted before then, because I was very In The Zone with this project. Unsure about sharing it here because it has my name on it, but I might share the link in a DM if you ask. I think I wrote a pretty compelling typography book.)

We're then assigned people to do critiques on (to ensure everyone gets critiqued by two people). I check so that I can do my critiques.

Let me tell you what. I just about hit the ceiling. Five-ish people, including myself, turned the assignment in. (Or at least turned it in on time.) Hell, of what was turned in, I think, aside from myself, only two other people put any amount of research into their book topic (WHICH WE CHOSE, they weren't even assigned! We got to pick whatever we wanted as long as we could relate it to typography!). And honestly, only one other student, from reading their book, felt like they put any actual effort into it at all. (Her book was simple, but very nice.) The other... read like he got bored half-way through his own research, because he had like a handful of sources and a whole bunch of paragraphs that were just him repeating himself, just paraphrased, in a very obvious "I need to hit the 40-page minimum" attempt.

Another person had a nice looking book, but it was filled with Lorem Ipsum filler text. Another was maybe two pages of research, and then the entire rest of the book was just a picture book.

I just... what.

We had three months -- THREE MONTHS -- to do this. Three. Tres. Ninety whole ass days. We had FOUR check-ins during the course of those three months, to show our progress and how we're doing, and a FIFTH optional check-in that wasn't graded. It was there so that we could ask for help if we needed it. The professor even asked the class if the due dates were too tight (we also had other exercises and projects to do in the meantime while we did this in the background), if the class was going too fast, and they needed more time... Short of doing it in interpretive dance in front of a neon flashing sign, I don't know how more obviously she could've asked, "Hey, this is your sign to speak up if you're having issues."

This is technically an upper level course. This is also a class you can't take without taking Typography I, which was set up THE EXACT SAME WAY. This is also an elective class specifically for Graphic Design Degrees at my uni. You're not here unless you intend to be a designer.

It's just insulting to see, en masse, everyone just go "nah". They're wasting my time because I have to struggle to critique whatever is going on with those that DID submit. They're wasting the professor's time by sitting in her class and not doing the work. They're wasting another student's time by taking up a seat that could've been filled by someone else. They're wasting their own time being there and going through the motions (some of them had some really interesting progress shots to show of their book during the check-ins), but not following through.

They're also wasting money, because the class is like... $400-ish, so, you know.

It's also insulting considering the sheer amount of work I put into my own submission. It feels like researching and making a gourmet three-course meal to the best of my ability to impress a cooking show judge with, but then looking over and seeing half the competition hasn't even bothered to make anything, and the other half has a stale, cold burger off the McDonald's dollar menu.

I know I shouldn't care, because it doesn't entirely affect me at the end of the day (though I do have to suffer through trying to critique it or get marked off). But still, it's just... mind blowing to me.

[tirfpikachu]

i finally deleted most of the selfies i had taken w my ex. i thought i was over it, i didn't expect to feel so crushed </3 rant ic

like damn. i put my all into that relationship, and turns out they were never into me to begin with. it feels so fucking humiliating bc i was being so loveydovey and looking back they were so distant, but if i asked they just reassured me that it was just their autism or DID. it's like the past 5 years were just lies, at least lies they told themself, like they tried so hard to be into female-passing people, but they only wanna date ppl who wanna pass as male, and that's never gonna be me. now they're all over someone else and showing a brand new side i never saw of them in all those years. i was trying soooo hard to make it work, i kept blaming myself and trying over and over again to romance them the Right Way, to not be too clingy, to not expect too much, to do exactly what they liked, to not expect any reciprocation bc it was just their disorders. i kinda feel gaslit ngl bc they said they wanted to break up for years but thought i wouldn't survive without them bc i was a broke disabled woman. and i get it. but who the fuck wants to date someone, kiss someone, fuck someone (the rare times it happened lol), do so much romantic shit to try to get their lover's heart to race but turns out i was in a fake ass relationship w someone who wasn't even into women. and the worst thing is, i knew that. i knew. they said so at the beginning, when i identified as transmasc. they thought i would transition but i never did. but even back then they said they only made a move on me bc they knew i had a crush on them, they didn't actually have a crush on me. i wasn't gonna make a fucking move on them but THEY STARTED IT. yeah i made dirty jokes while drunk and got cuddly and blushed sometimes, but i always was like "lmk if that makes you uncomfy!" and they always brushed it off. i get that they're a huge doormat and have trauma w saying no to people and were super inexperienced etc but i feel so crushed and betrayed. like that was my FIRST real relationship, they were my first everything. all fake

and now to see them show all the normal loveydovey behaviors i always begged for after one date with a trans guy... ouch. i don't even want them, i would only be 100% fulfilled being w someone who identifies as a woman and my attraction had waned when they transitioned. but the year before the breakup they had been more fem and i identified as a lesbian in the "only into non-men" kinda way and they seemed okay w it and they were more affectionate and i just got my hopes up, like our 5 year anniversary was at the most romantic hotel ever (even tho they didn't even cuddle me or say anything romantic to me or uhhhh do anything to show they loved me other than getting me gifts i had put in my amazon wishlist) and i really got my hopes up. when i was high the night of the breakup i had asked "do you ever think you're not into me, or aroace or something?" i expected to hear no and be reassured but they told me i wasn't ready for that conversation and it broke me!!! and then all those years were for nothing, i could've been in a loving relationship w someone else all this time, we could've just stayed roommates, but nope. nah. it was all faked on their end. all my efforts for nothing </3

[imunbreakabledude]

ok nah i got more to say from my last post.

the idea that The Boys portrays women as good/noble/infallible and men as bad/evil/fallible is a take that gets thrown around surprisingly often for how simply and objectively false it is.

i feel like this take often comes from people who just really hate annie? and whatever you dont have to like her, but she's a very traditional narrative hero, morally right most of the time, but still fucks up sometimes, learns from other characters, strays occasionally but stays the path. i can see why some of the reflexive negativity came from the latter half of s3 where she was vocally just pointing out how crazy other ppl were being (with the wild stance of "let's not help the super powerful, aggressive, exploding man we don't know at all murder a handful of people in the hopes that he will peacefully then murder the one guy we want him to murder and then cause no further issues himself?" paired with "maybe don't take this experimental drug we don't know the consequences of just in the name of throwing yourself into this highly risky plan?") - it's understandable why other characters disagreed bc it's a good conflict! but the reason she was portrayed as reasonable/right is because... those are reasonable/right stances? lmao

but early in s3 she was WRONG and Hughie was right. remember? when she was all like "i wanna stay in the seven and be co-captain and i'll fix everything by being popular and getting diversity™ in the seven." she was wrong! and hughie told her to get out, and she didn't try, she got in deeper, and regretted it, but it was too late. annie literally got her friend killed. if she hadn't brought supersonic into the rebel effort (yeah he kinda pushed his way in a bit but she could've tried harder to keep him out) and also if she hadn't goaded homelander even more by challenging him over stupid shit, then homelander wouldn't have killed supersonic.

anyways, on the topic of characters who are always/almost always portrayed as good and right. in my opinion at least, the most consistently good, loyal, reasonable character on the show? M.M.! he has his own struggles, sure, feeling torn between fighting the fight and being there for his kid, but i cant think of one moment he was morally off course. Frenchie is not too far behind, and Hughie is not too far behind that - even when Hughie messes up he has abundantly understandable and empathetic reasons, and he is never portrayed as EVIL. even when he's "wrong" to take temp v and help soldier boy in s3, it's not by a huge margin, you understand why he and butcher believe that to be the best course of action.

meanwhile... there are bad women on the show! you have annie and kimiko who are near the top of the "goodness" scale (at least in intent) but both do have missteps or regrets. Then there's Maeve, who is portrayed as ultimately good but with some major flaws and mistakes.

then you've got the two major women antagonists of season 1 and season 2? Madelyn Stillwell and Stormfront? i'm 99% sure both those characters were men in the comic (and obviously many other aspects of them changed but) ... the show made a conscious effort to depict that bad people can be any gender?? lol?

You've also got Neuman now, another powerful antagonist though her allegiances are still questionable. Ashley as well, whom idk if we can truly call an antagonist, but she is certainly not a "good" person on the moral scale of this universe.

I guess there are technically more "bad" men than women on this show if you go broadly speaking - but that's because there's more men period. even if we leave out the most questionable case of butcher (who is obviously designed to make the audience feel ambivalent about whether his actions are justified; though I would put him in the "good" bucket ultimately, at least in how the show's constructed, he's an antihero) ... ya get ~3 "good" men (hughie, frenchie, mm, 4 if you count supersonic) and 3 "good" women (annie, kimiko, maeve, who's aboutta be gone). then you've got ~4 "bad" men (Homelander, A-Train, Deep, Soldier Boy, I guess you could count Noir but he isn't shown to be like a bad person morally? I guess you could maybe count Edgar too). and ~3 "bad" women (Madelyn, Stormfront, Neuman, could add Ashley if you want). that's a surprisingly equal breakdown tbh... the one place where the men get the majority, i guess, is in the MINOR "bad" guys. like ones only in 1-2 episodes who then get dispatched. Translucent, Lamplighter, Gunpowder, Mesmer, Termite etc... only woman equivalent i can think of is crimson countess. Little Nina too I guess? but there's more men, there, because yeah, just more men overall.

tl;dr I have no idea why people ever make that complaint because the show is pretty varied in terms of protagonists/antagonists across gender lines

[drewsaturday]

this is gonna be long and probably not very coherent

the "i just don't understand why starving hallucinating teenage girls on the verge of death in the wilderness would devolve into ritualistic cannibalism so fast :///" ppl keep getting lumped in with those of us who just think they should've shown us the ritual leadup and it's so exhausting.

i know why they did it!! i completely understand why they did it!!

what i wanna know is how it specifically came about, not because i can't read between the lines but because i'm genuinely fascinated by how they decided the ritualistic components and came to terms with actual murder as a group.

i genuinely wanted to see who pushed back on that escalation because they can just wait out lottie's death or look for crystal's body, even if just for a last ditch effort at morality knowing fully well a ritual is the only way.

i wanted see the dread settle in the eyes of some and the humanity fade from the eyes of others as they stopped fighting and reached a consensus.

i wanted to know how they chose the queen card, even just showing van shuffling through the deck and finding it and tracing over its crossed out eyes, face mangled by the wilderness like hers, and Knowing this is it.

i wanted to see shauna clutching jackie's necklace thinking about the love and safety and betrayal it carries, knowing she's going to put it on the next yellowjacket whose death she'll be responsible for, blood across the chain.

at the very least give us a music montage of visuals if a discussion would have been treating us too much like toddlers or whatever. i do think there was a valuable element of "wait, are they actually doing this? no, they can't be--" that i felt until nat drew the queen card and confirmed it. a montage of visuals could have still allowed a similar effect, and it just felt like a missed opportunity to not give us more insight into the girls' psyche at that Specific moment.

idk! maybe it would have been redundant to show--we know they already used the cards for chore delegation, we can guess who would've been for/against it, we know they don't have all that much time TO discuss it, it sort of mirrors cannibalizing jackie since they didn't have a chat about that before digging into her face, groupthink is powerful, they're too exhausted to fight it, etc.

BUT i personally don't think those points outweigh the abruptness and missed opportunities considering the buildup is something so pivotal for the rest of the series. the cannibalistic descent felt earned, the ritual specifics did not.

and honestly i think some of my sentiments are justified considering there was a deleted scene of shauna telling lottie she'd do anything for her, which helps push the "let's sacrifice someone to the wilderness to save lottie" undertones of needing the ritual in addition to starvation. they really could've cut the shauna scissorhands dream and gave us this instead but nah.

AND... THEY LITERALLY DID FILM A DISCUSSION SCENE. the actors being interviewed explain sometimes things have to be cut for pacing and tone etc, but i also don't know if they're justifying it because if they criticize their crew they'll be in trouble or if they genuinely think it worked out for the best. i think either way, it does show even the writers and co were on the fence about whether to include it, so i don't think having it be such a divisive topic is entirely out of left fucking field. something feels missing because something is missing, and even if it was for the best... they cut it so late into the process of course it's going to be noticeable.

anyway. i truly do love this show. and i'm not mad that they didn't give us a discussion scene, i'm just getting tired of the fandom being so unwilling to listen to why some of us feel like there was a missed opportunity there. if so many of us are saying "hey this could've been done in a more satisfying way" i don't think there's a lack of media literacy there. you don't need to agree--obvs it was fine enough for a lot of fans--but some of us have our reasons for feeling the way we do.

ultimately i just think it would've added so much more weight to the ritual in 2x08 and the rituals onward if they'd done that, but since they didn't do it we'll never know if it would've been better or worse. all we know is that some people are so set on feeling high and mighty for Understanding The Scene that they're painting any valid criticisms as deranged media illiteracy.

[aita-blorbos]

(OCs)

AITA for not telling my best friend how strong I am?

I (37, M), and my best friend G (24, NB) have been inseparable after we met in a really harsh environment. I was very gloomy about the situation at the time and didn't really feel the need to try at all until I met G.

I used to be a real force to be reckoned with before all the years of the situation wore me down and made me think that nothing I did really mattered. Until I met G and their fire and spark for life reignited my own, it was a very slow process though.

Since i was so passive at the time they made it their goal to keep me safe no matter the cost since I was one of the few people willing to put up with them, they got themself into trouble a few times because they thought I couldn't handle it.

I feel really guilty about not letting them know now that I'm making more of an effort and actually trying for the first time in years, it just feels like they got way in over their head over nothing since I could've handled all of those fights by myself.

AITA?

[thecoolerliauditore]

I know I don't deserve another response from you, so just ignore this if you want. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sent that message. I appreciate the kindness you gave me that I don't really deserve.

Honestly... I just can't believe that artists don't have a knack to start with. Because I've always had a knack for anything I'm good at, like math. I never really had to put effort into learning math. And even the things that I'm good at that did take effort I still had a knack at the beginning. I'm not trying to downplay artists' effort, I know it does take effort, but I don't think you can just start from 0. Or at least, I can't. So I'm not making that conclusion just on other people's art but also in other things I'm good at.

By the way, I'm not the person who sent the "life is unfair" ask, but I was already feeling negative and saw Struda's response and I reacted even worse.

My life's going pretty well all things considered, and I'm going to a good college to study some STEM related stuff. In the background I've struggled with this desire to be creative, though, and I'm trying to stifle that desire but it's not working, and no one really seems to have tutorials on how to get rid of that desire. I have a therapist and parents I could talk to, but doing so didn't help, either, because they don't understand what I'm trying to say.

I'm sorry also that it came off as guilt trippy. I'm really bad with managing my tone, especially when I'm feeling like this. I don't mean that as an excuse but as an explanation.

nah this is way more like it, i think we all need a bit of practice online with talking to each other like actual human beings and not text boxes to write ur entire internal monologue into 👍

happy to hear your life is going okay! If anything I'm just glad you're an adult who can reflect on yourself enough to recognize what you were doing was not great. I was trying to keep things vague as possible because, again, idk you and you could've been a 13 year old with no allowance for all i know lol.

i've noticed alot of beginner artists tend to have this.. all or nothing mindset? i don't really understand the desire to stifle your need to create. like. are you not allowed to have a hobby lol. amateur means to love yada yada. especially if you're not trying to make a living out of it where's the rush 😭😭

Going to link this marco bucci video again because even tho it's long it's probably one of the most eye-opening things I've ever watched in terms of his view on talent, gifted kid syndrome, etc.

I used to say I had a 'knack' for art tbh. then i realised i.. really didn't? i just drew more than the other kids in my class because i didn't like sports or maths and got the reputation for being "the art kid". funnily enough i was also into creative writing and history but no one looks at reciting historical facts like they do with drawing 🤷‍♂️

it wasn't til i was in a course with other artists everywhere when I realised just how not-talented i really was. and thats fine cus none of us really were. some of us were just better at learning than others (which is a trained skill in of itself) and that's about it. 👍

if it helps at all, I have gotten into sports recently despite being useless at it all my life and have realised that it was more that I just needed an environment to flourish in instead of any problem with my athleticism itself (which is STILL BAD don't get me wrong but im not hopeless like my gym teachers thought i was 😭😭). so maybe what u need is just the right people? try finding an online artist community that you fit in, make some friends, and just chill with them while making art together?

again i dunno you so idk what would work lmao

so uh yeah 👍

[hopeymchope]

What do you think is the reason why Sayaka disliked Homura even back when she was still Moemura? I will admit that sayaka had good reasons to dislike and distrust Homura in the PMMM anime because Homura was acting quite callous and overall pretty shady, but why did she dislike her so much even in the older timeliness?

I want to open by saying: I don't think Sayaka has come off as being too harsh towards "Moemura" in the timelines we've seen. Certainly in the Magia Record game storylines we've seen with both of them, they seem to get on relatively fine? I guess it might be a little snippy at times. Hence: "relatively." But even so, it's not too bad? Maybe you remember some examples better than my brain can pull out right now.

The biggest example of this sort of Anti-Moemura tension that I can remember is from the main PMMM series when Sayaka's just instantly dismissive of Homura when Moemura tries to straight-up just tell the group what Kyubey is hiding. And I could go off on a whole tangent here about why that scene bothers the crap outta me... but I'll save it for the end of this post and put it under a cut. I go off-topic too much as it is in these answers. :P

Okay, so why does Sayaka instantly shut Homura down when Homura is just telling her the truth (and pretty gently at that)? Why is there that undercurrent of snippiness between them at times? My instinct is: Probably jealousy? Moemura quickly gets close to Madoka and seems to "replace" Sayaka as Madoka's closest friend. Sayaka's known Madoka longer, so that's gotta sting. Plus, y'know, the yuri undertones are strong with this show. Could be a little bit of "jilted lover" layered in there.

So I think that's the crux of it. But I confess that, to me, the most awkward relationship among the "Holy Quintet" is actually the one between Regular/Edgy Homura and Mami. Those two... even before I got to see Rebellion, I was reading the manga spinoffs and thinking, "Wow, they don't like each other very much." At their very cores, they are diametrically opposed forces. Mami is largely selfless whereas Homura is largely focused on selfish desires. Mami is always doing her best to look past her regrets and make the most of what she's got even when things are tough, whereas Homura refuses to be satisfied with fate's design and is a pile of regret and angst. And then the two of them going at each other in that amazing Rebellion battle felt like a big payoff to that tension.

Fair warning: I’m now gonna go off on a side rant about why the scene/timeline where Sayaka just instantly shuts down Moemura's truth-telling just bugs the crap out of me. :P lol

The short version is: That scene makes zero sense if you think about it for one minute. It's pretty obviously just a quick-&-dirty patch to wallpaper over the question of "Why doesn't she just tell them?" Urobuchi would've been better off showing us some bad consequences as a result of just telling them up-front... but in fairness, I suspect he knows that. I think he probably went with this hyperfast/full-of-holes way to say "Nah, wouldn't work" due to the time constraints of the medium. So I kinda get why it needed to be this way. I just wish we could've handled it more smoothly.

Anyway: Why do I insist that Sayaka's instantaneous denial of there being any possibility of Homura telling the truth make "zero sense"? Because they can literally just agree to ask Kyubey. That's all it would take to clear this up - a single, short conversation. Low effort, high return. I seriously doubt the entire team would just refuse to even fucking talk to him if Homura were to say "Why don't you just talk to Kyubey?" or something to that effect. That'd be ridiculous.

So yeah, literally just ask him about it! History proves that he won't even deny anything! He may avoid sharing information or imply things that aren't true without ever saying them, but he doesn't outright lie. That's kind of a major character trait for him/them.

In a perfect world, there would've been time for us to see that conversation play out, and then show how directly sharing that knowledge is ultimately still disastrous for the team. But hey, whatevs. I understand that we were working within the confines of a 13-episode series which — at the time — had no reason to assume it'd be expanded upon.

[klonoadreams]

Did everything about the abandoned Unovan infant have any social style repercussions? how even if the part of unovan was not made public, that bad image of unova still remained in those who do know?

(is unovan for a "person"? i can't remember)

Not really on that aspect, but more so in the "how could ANYONE abandon a child like that? THIS FAR FROM THEIR HOME REGION, TOO??"

Like it's not on Unova, but rather, the parents who actually abandoned their child.

The outcome from it is effectively keeping an eye on who comes and goes into Galar, so as to avoid another situation again where a child gets abandoned and falls through the cracks.

Chairman Rose isn't exactly happy about the situation, because even regardless of the situation, abandoning a child in a forest SHOULDN'T have happened, when there were SO MANY other options for Brie's "parents" to take, like an orphanage or any designated safe havens for children. But nah, they just left her in the forest to effectively just...die or whatever. She got REALLY lucky that Mami found her first, because while Brie isn't exactly aware of it (fully), her underlying trauma is THERE, and that's why she has such severe abandonment issues.

(Unovan is adjectival form of Unova, used to describe anyone from there, from Pokemon to people, like Galarian is used for Galar, so Opal would be a Galarian and while Brie still hasn't wrapped her head around it, she IS effectively Unovan, which is strange for her because she literally just woke up one day in the Pokemon world, so she knows next to nothing about herself, but the innate memories are DEFINITELY there)

Most of that aspect is kept under wraps, especially that Brie herself is the abandoned child in the Glimwood Tangle. This is done for her own safety, because the last thing she needs is the media on her ass. Like, getting asked such personal questions.

you have to literally dig so much deeper and have specific connections (and money) to get this sort of information on Brie. And frankly, the only one who would likely EVER blab on her for cash would be the guy who set the Glimwood Tangle on fire, and others who have had terrible encounters with Brie (like a certain volunteer by the name of Amanda, who would obviously put on "it wasn't my fault").

But anyways, Brie is doing a lot better now, especially given the support system she has. And you can expect Chairman Rose to go the extra mile for her, because he feels responsible for the situation (even though he could've never imagined such a situation could happen, and even Oleana is pissed about it, since hc: she herself was an abandoned child that had to claw her way out of her slump into success, which is why she's willing to do things most others won't do, especially for Rose, because of the effort and money he poured into Galar to fixed these issues).

[juneviews]

God, astrophile should thank Off that he took on the role of Tan because if he wasn't in the show, I wouldn't even start watching it. Right now the only reason I'm still watching is to possibly see tan/kaew and sai/pao but the show is giving me absolutely nothing in terms of those two ships so what's even the point?? Even if they get together (doubt it at this point since the show is ending soon anyway), it'll just be out of nowhere and therefore unsatisfying af. I have yet to watch eps 14 and 15 but I read that Mimi dies??? Nah, fuck that!! They gotta kill off the cat too??? For WHAT??! I'm even more mad now.

^^^^^ I lowkey have nothing to add bc you summarized it perfectly. for a show that literally stars the biggest male & female lead in thailand, it has been disappointing at every turn. not only has this show been whipped from thin air because mai wanted a ship with bright & they literally took the astro concept from bright's brand, but even with that they couldn't be bothered to give us an actually interesting plot. I've said it before, but astrophile had potential with some of its topics, yet to go for a love triangle which literally has introduced ZERO tension and doesn't even develop the third character who's on all the posters & in all the promotional material... nah fuck that shit. I get that the director wanted to include off bc he loves him, which... relatable, but then he should've put a little more effort in actually making his character GOOD. tan is an okay character, and off's acting is amazing as him, that being said... he literally serves close to zero purpose narratively. I don't even know why he's there when he never fucking stood a chance. the only thing for the narration where he did something is help nubdao but even that isn't necessarily that important to the plot as kim helps her too & that role could've been fulfilled by jaikaew or nammon instead. all of that to say that I feel like every year now, off has one good role in an otherwise bad show. last year it was girl 2k, and this year it's absolutely astrophile. midnight motel & 10 years ticket can't come soon enough <3

xxx