#I deserve hell for that pun

[fahbev]

You know, a lot of fanfics have the batkids call Damian “demon” or “demon brat”. And I’m just wondering if anyone actually does call him that. In canon I mean. Do y’all know?

[loverofallthingssmart]

genius idea guys. food critic tam and head chef/restaurant owner keefe.

[halflucidramblings]

I meticulously steal every one a sniper's rifles and scopes, driving them to insanity.

They're now deranged.

[confused-wanderer]

The villains are utterly confused.

They remember the first robin. They remember how bloodthirsty the little gremlin was, how he appeared out of the darkness with a “HIYA FOLKS” that gave people near heart attacks with PTSD so bad they flinched everytime they walked into a dark corner. They remember his grin, baring few too many teeth with a glint in his eyes whenever the bat wasn’t around to curb him. They remember the death stare, the brooding that made no one doubt this was the Bat’s son. They remember how a punch would land a lot harder than it was supposed to, or the screaming that followed. Oh they remembered him alright.

The second one thank the stars was better. The second robin was giggly. He would hop around town, offering his help to everyone who needed it. Sure he was rough with abusers but hell no one cared about them. Matter of fact, the villains were glad because those assholes deserved no sympathy. They remember his puns, his wonder, his innocence and his spark. They remembered his laughter, his concern - the kind that only comes from one who’s been on the streets. This one was better, and the villains thanked their lucky stars. They remembered him alright.

But now, as the years passed and new characters emerged, the crime city saw the rise of two characters - a sunshine happy nightwing and a ready to kill red hood. And naturally, from their experiences in the past, the villains ended up making an honest mistake that ruined the two vigilantes’ reputation:

The villains assumed the first robin was Red Hood and the other was Nightwing. And BY GOD Gotham has not seen unhinged chaos like this.

SCENE 1

Red Hood *drawing his pistol* : Please, reach for your weapon. I’m itching for an excuse for my intrusive thoughts to become extrusive.

Two-Face: You dare mock me little bird?! Well.. I may not have my weapon.. but I have something I know you’d like..

Red Hood: Oh yeah?What’s that?

Two-Face: TAKE THIS! *slams button and coconuts start falling from the sky, all cracking and spilling as they hit the ground*

Red Hood:

Two-Face:

Red Hood: .. the fuck was that supposed to do?

Two-Face: .. HOW ARE YOU STILL STANDING?! YOU HATE COCONUTS ROBIN!!

Red Hood: The fuck- .. wait did you call me robin?

Two-Face *grins* : Yea.. robin. The first one. Thought I didn’t notice?

Red Hood: The first one? Does this *gestures vaguely to himself and his weapons* seem like something the first robin would do?

Two-Face:

Goon 1: I mean.. yeah

Red Hood: What! The first robin was nice!

Goon 2 *guffawing*: I beg your fucking pardon??

Two-Face: .. you took my coin and attached a magnet beneath it so everytime I flipped it it wouldn’t stop spinning. Do you know how long that took me to figure out?? Do you know how insane it drove me?? Joker had to help me out of pity. OUT. OF. PITY.

Red Hood:

Goon 1: ..Also you did steal some of our bones

Red Hood: hedidfuckingwhatnow-

SCENE 2

Nightwing: Hey there buddy! You look frostyl!

Dr. Freeze: Aha! You are too late to stop me robin!

Nightwing: .. robin?

Dr. Freeze: why yes! Don’t act coy, I know it’s you there. Now that we’ve got that clear.. I was wondering if you remembered all those years ago when you gave me a source for electricity to power a hospital keeping my Nora?

Nightwing:

Dr. Freeze: well you weren’t careful enough and never told me how much I could take from it.. so I used it to power so many of my inventions that came after

Nightwing *remembering when Jason was robin and every damn time he came to visit Wayne Manor his room would always run out power and the countless cold showers in freezing winters he had to take because of it*: .. oh? Well, sorry to break your bubble, but that wasn’t me Elsa.

Dr. Freeze: no? You joke around, make puns and I’m supposed to believe it’s NOT you?. The first one brooded like there was no tomorrow. He pissed me off so bad once I overheard him saying his favourite ice cream flavour and I made sure it wouldn’t be available in Gotham for YEARS. You’re not as bad as the first one. I’d remember if you were him.

Nightwing:

Nightwing *firing up his escrima sticks to maximum voltage*: Oh let me jog your memory then :)

[kisakis-boyfriend]

Halloween hcs for a Witch!Reader who makes a pact with Demon!Freminet/Scaramouche/Albedo and uses his magical obedience to make his pussy come and squirt on command

Hhhhnnngghh I forgot how much I enjoy scenarios like this 🥴 Everyone is 20+ as per usual~

I hope these are to your liking, dear anon ❤️

Freminet

Oh this poor little thing...you just love to ruin him when he least expects it

Using your pact to call him to your location and luring him into a false sense of security by acting sweet and sitting him in your lap for cuddles

Then when Freminet has relaxed you'll activate the seal on your hand and whisper in a commanding tone “Cum for me, darling”

And the little demon throws his head back so hard, his pussy clenched around nothing at all while a powerful orgasm hits him

Freminet will beg so sweetly for you to stick something inside, anything at all, just...fill him up please? 🥺

“Pl-please....need your fingers...need you insiiaaahhh—!! ” He'll cry out while you command him to cum untouched once again, the intensity of it all causes his vision to turn all fuzzy

You oblige him, torturously though. Shoving your fingers deep within his wet cunt and fingering Freminet roughly until he shouts out, “C-close!! Aaahh—!! Y/n! ”

He's so soooo embarrassed when you force his little pussy to squirt

Painfully clawing at your wrist while you finger his hole open and make him squirt harder

And of course after you've tortured him to hell and back (pun intended) you'll soothe the little demon and take care of him while he recovers from his orgasms 💙

Scaramouche

A bratty little thing like Scara honestly deserves something like this

He's in the middle of chastising you for some reason or another when your thumb presses against the seal on your palm, activating your control over him

All it takes is you uttering a single word, “Cum”

Scaramouche's eyes widen in shock as he feels slick cum drip out of his cunt, his thighs shaking the entire time his orgasm lasts

“Wh-what the fuck....was- aaahh!! Why did you–?” The poor thing is dumbfounded as the realization hits him; you forced him to cum just to make him shut up

Scara is about to berate you again when you repeat the command, smirking down at the man while he sinks to his knees. His legs no longer able to support him from cumming a second time within a few minutes

He looks up at you with tears in his eyes, a fierce look shooting daggers at you despite that fact. And you surprise him yet again with the words, “Squirt for me, baby. Make a mess all over the floor then clean it up ”

Unable to refuse your order, the bratty demon gushes all over himself. His shorts and panties are soaked and dripping all over the floor underneath him, creating a puddle of wetness

His torso falls forward onto the ground, causing his ass to stick up in the air as another wave hits him and his pretty pussy squirts again, his shrill wailing fills the room from pure pleasure

After a minute of letting him catch his breath you'll circle around behind him and touch his wet cunt, his body jolting from overstimulation at the tiny bit of contact

Maybe he learned his lesson this time, maybe not. His fate all depends on how hard he can beg for forgiveness now~ 💜

Albedo

How lucky you are to have a demon prince under your command. How delicious it is to force your prince to cum whenever you think he should

Bending Albedo over your desk and fucking into him. Not allowing him to cum unless it's from your command 😳

He's stuffed completely full, moaning like a whore, and then you force him to gush all over the tile floor

His little cheeks heat up uncomfortably while you coo in his ear, “Aaaww, did my little prince make a mess? How about you do it again, squirt for me, Albedo. Show me how much your pussy craves being stretched and fucked~”

Albedo's hands slam on the desk and claw at the wood as he's forced to cum again, white hot pleasure consuming his very being

Maybe you'll grab him by the horns and use them as leverage to fuck into his cunt harder, but only if he begs~ 💛

[mlmshipbracket]

ROUND 6: POLL #1 - Semifinals

ROUND 6 POLLS [HERE]

PROPAGANDA BELOW

Siffrin/Isabeau:

I've put mid paragraph spoilers in || brackets || and paragraphs of spoilers make "spoilers ->"

I should mention that them having romantic feelings for each other is a partial spoiler?

What if. A silly little he/they guy. But! He's really messed up emotionally and mentally. Like. Constantly puts others first to his own detriment and calls himself manipulative kind of messed up. Also he's in a time loop. NOT a fun one. But! There's this jock in his party that he can joke with. And they looove making him smile! And! That jock is head over heels for our tiny hero. But! Neither of them can admit their feelings! ||Even if they know the feelings are mutual!!|| AND THE JOCK DOESN'T KNOW HE'S IN A TIME LOOP!!! AND LITTLE GUY WON'T TELL HIM! CAUSE THEY DON'T WANT HIM TO WORRY!!

I love them sooo much! They are my favorite he/they x ||trans masc|| couple <3

Siffrin is soooo insecure and I'm 100% sure Isa could fix him if he wanted to. They love telling each other just the worst puns and jokes imaginable.

[SPOILERS] -> Isa was a big nerd before he decided he wanted to be a huge jock and now he wants to design clothes now that he saved his county (along side his other friends)

Siff is just a little guy (literally)(he is short) who loves the stars abs doesn't remember a lot about his past. He constantly worries if he's being enough for the rest of his companions and always tries his best to make sure they're happy. He has soooo much trouble seeing value in himself and prioritizing his own needs and it makes me soooo sad :( he deserves to have someone like Isa.

[SPOILERS] -> Siff knows that Isa wants to confess after thier battle w the bbeg, but siff can't get Ida to say it no matter what they try :(

Eustass Kid/Killer:

Propaganda by @chronoirrai [HERE]

Friends/lovers since childhood, would kill and die for each other. [SPOILERS for those who have not watched/read the Wano arc yet] Killer ate a defective SMILE fruit to safe Kid, making him unable to swim and show any other emotion than laughing (and gains him nothing), and he also knew exactly where to cut off Hawkins' arm so he wouldn't harm Kid (because he knows his body so well). Kid promises to kill whoever makes fun of his partner, and lets himself be recaptured after escaping prison because Killer had gotten himself captured.

If this ain't love idk what is.

The captain/right-hand man dynamic. They call each other aibou (partner). If your partner doesn't tell you that he will send whoever laughs at you to hell then he is not worth it. Killer hates his own laugh to the point that he stopped laughing out loud and started wearing a mask. But then he was forced to eat a defective devil fruit (because they promised he could see Kidd if he did) so he's been cursed to only laugh no matter what emotion he's trying to express. That's why Kidd said that, it's so full of weight for someone like Killer. And when Kidd was imprisoned and he worked so hard to escape, but as soon as he saw Killer being pulled into the same prison he just broke out from mans did not hesitate for even a second to go right back in.

[momotonescreaming]

STWG Daily Prompt: Chocolate Covered Strawberries

[Part One]

“Do you think you need a special type of chocolate?” Eddie starts, speaking into the stagnant air of the trailer as he flops down onto the couch. Sends a burst of dust spiralling into the air as the cushions dip under his weight. “To make, like, chocolate covered strawberries or something.”

He cranes his head, hair splayed out around him as he watches Wayne’s reaction. Watches as his uncle lowers the newspaper he was reading, looks over at Eddie from behind the folded pages from his position in his armchair in the corner. Face carefully still as he raises a single eyebrow as if to say how the hell should I know?

Eddie just huffs, rolling his eyes at his uncle, arm draped over the side of the couch as he settles in. He’s tempted to tip himself upside down — pun not intended — hang his head over the side of the couch and kick his legs up in the air. Maybe it would help him think, all the blood rushing to his head. He’d do it, if he wasn’t sure he’d kick over something — a hat, or a mug, or two, or three. “Throw me a bone here, Wayne.”

“I’d say regular chocolate should work just fine.” Wayne says, lowering his eyebrow. Voice gruff, but serious as he gives Eddie an answer. “Just put it in the fridge to keep it cool. Help it set.”

“Are you sure?” Eddie asks, picking at the stray threads of the couch. Running them between his fingers. Plucking and pulling them taut, his voice pitching higher. Tighter. Feeling and sounding a little bit more vulnerable than he intended. “You’re not a chef.”

“Neither are you,” His uncle retorts, face carefully deadpan. And Eddie snorts, the thread of anxiousness he was pulling, now slowly loosening in his chest. “So what bought this on? Dinner with your boy went well I take it?

“So well,” Eddie gushes, smile creeping across his face, cheeks flushing pick at the thought of Steve. At the thought of Wayne calling Steve his boy. He’s sure Wayne can see it from his armchair, looking at him from over the pages of the newspaper. Can almost guarantee it, in fact, if the smile on his uncle’s face is anything to go by. “Steve made us dinner from scratch — lasagne with garlic bread and a wine paring and everything — and it was the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten. And not just because he made it for me. He lit candles, and was wearing this navy blue button down that made him look so hot.”

“Boy,” Wayne says, a little exasperated. He’s still smiling. Eddie can see it curling up underneath his beard.

“We listened to music and made ice cream sundaes together for desert,” Eddie continues, smile not leaving his face. His toes curl, and he sort of lets himself shrink into the couch as he talks. Melting into it under thoughts of Steve. “We kissed and slow danced in the kitchen as I helped him do the dishes.”

“And,” Wayne prompts, raising his eyebrow again, but he’s still smiling. He’s happy for him, Eddie knows.

Eddie sighs, letting Wayne look right through him. He always does.

“And if I don’t do something equally romantic in return I’m going to cry,” Eddie whines, playing it up, slumping even further until he’s almost falling off the couch and onto the floor. Locks eyes with Wayne and pouts. He’s being dramatic, but he means it. Steve deserves the best, deserves the romance he’s always wanted and Eddie isn’t quite sure how to give it to him.

“Romance ain’t a competition, boy,” His uncle simply says.

“It is and I’m losing,” Eddie whines, pulling a face as Wayne just laughs. Deep, and warm, and comforting.

[brokendoor16]

I know that this has probably been said to death atp, but the most heartbreaking part of The Final Fifteen (™️) is that THEY WERE BOTH RIGHT.

All Crowley has ever wanted is to run away with his angel, whether it's to Alpha Centuries or just Aziraphale's bookshop. He was RIGHT to say that heaven and hell are toxic. He was RIGHT to say that they don't need them. He was RIGHT to say that he's better than that, that THEY'RE better than that. Crowley's a demon for a reason; he doesn't have faith in innate goodness, he knows that heaven and hell will break their promises. He's suffered SO FUCKING MUCH at the hands of both, and watched Aziraphale suffer for heaven's sake, and he's RIGHT to know that they deserve better.

But as much as he loves Crowley, Aziraphale could never give up on something without at least trying to fix it. There's no way that he could've just left, because that's not who he is and that's not the Angel Crowley loves. He believes SO DEEPLY in the good in the world, in the potential for change, so he could never pass up the opportunity to 'fix the system' - to make heaven a place where no one has to feel like he did again. Whether or not it works (and it will, in small, seemingly insignificant ways like the scriveners getting new offices, and the rules on who can go to earth loosening, and that little bit of rebounding kindness cycling around and around even the most toxic place), he had to try because THAT'S WHO HE IS. He's an angel in the best sense of the word, and he was RIGHT that he could make a difference. And, as much as we all hate to admit it, the metratron was RIGHT. Aziraphale will be a wonderful leader.

So I like to think that, once they get past the initial anger, despite the heartbreak they're both feeling, they understand each other.

And they're proud.

Aziraphale is proud of Crowley for acknowledging his worth and, in a smaller, guiltier way, for telling Hell exactly where to shove their job offer. He's proud of him for knowing that, even alone, he's better than that.

Crowley is proud of Aziraphale for still being the angel he fell in love with, and he's praying to someone other than God that Aziraphale is making the Metatron's life HELL (pun intended). He's proud of him for his kindness, and selflessness. He's proud of his determination to break the cycle.

[cordeliawhohung]

Since you still have to go to a family dinner tonight: what would a family dinner with Simon or Price look like? Do you think they‘d be more talkative around your relatives, or just listen and/or suffer through it in silence? Do they leave room for dessert? And are you staying until the end or leaving as soon as it’s socially acceptable to catch up on much needed sleep? ❤️🌙 - A

Ah yes, family dinners a;skldfj they're fun but gosh can they be exhausting! luckily everyone only stayed around for about two hours, and as much as i'd love to catch up on sleep, i have terrible insomnia, so enjoy these little drabble/headcanons of our boys instead <3

But ah, Price, my love, I have yet to give him the attention he deserves!!!

Family Dinner with Price and Simon

I feel like Price is the perfect gentleman, and would be great to take home to your parents!! Your mother would be instantly smitten with him with that charm he holds and the sweet tone to his voice. Careful, she might try and steal him from you! He gets along fine with your father, though there is this awkward tension between the two of them. Just fatherly instincts of course, but Price is good with the small talk that comes with these type of events.

I can just imagine sitting at the table, Price next to you trying to choke down the bitter taste of wine (because your mother told your dad he needed to lay off the beer) and he smiles as everyone converses. He eats the lavish meal your mum spent hours preparing, and even though he definitely did not save room for dessert, he can't say no to the brownies she baked!

I also imagine that this man is trying to hold your hand at least half the time. Underneath the table, he reaches for your hand and pulls it to rest on the edge of his thigh just so he can rub his thumb over your knuckles. He does it because he loves your touch, but maybe also to calm his nerves. (any man who isn't afraid of his partner's parents is a stupid one.)

By the end of the night your mother is chatting him up, asking what he does for work, how much time he has off, and if he'll be free for another dinner sometime in the future. It's not until the second dinner that Price fully wins your dad over by bringing a small case of beer with him as a gift (but really, he brought it for himself because there's no way in hell he's choking down that wine again).

Simon? Well, he's certainly a gentleman, but your mother does not like him in the least. What's with his mask? Sure he took it off at the table, but he looks like a criminal! (i feel like he would remove his mask for a dinner with parents because there's no way this man would just sit at the table and brood lmao). And what's with that tattoo peeking out beneath his sleeve? He's more of a brute than a boyfriend )))):

Your father, on the other hand, laughs at least twenty times that night due to Simon's dry, and flat humor. It's the type of jokes that gruff old men enjoy and the puns dads harass their children with. Your mother doesn't start warming up to Simon until later in the night. He's been quiet and reserved the whole night, not really speaking much about himself, and really, you've done all the talking for him. Eventually, something sort of clicks in Simon, and he goes off on this ramble about you of all things. A funny story of a mishap back at the flat, or maybe some milestone in your life that you had forgotten to tell your parents. Seeing you through his eyes makes her soften up a bit.

Like Price, Simon stuffs himself full, as he's never been one to turn down a home cooked meal (especially because, let's face it, i doubt the man is all that great at cooking) but he has to politely decline your mothers delicious pie because of it ):

By the end of the night, Simon sneaks off to the kitchen at some point to do the dishes. You find him there, sleeves rolled up, that terrible tattoo (according to your mother) on display and shiny with soap and water, and you chuckle and tell him he doesn't need to clean up. He retorts by saying it's the only proper way to thank someone for a meal. (i'm dying on this hill that acts of service is his love language) Your mother walks in on the two of you, Simon covered in more water and soap than should be humanly possible (no thanks to you) and when she sees the smile on your face and the giggles rumbling through your throat, well, she's sending the two of you home with the left over pie and the request that you two return sometime soon. (:

[izurou]

“i hid a pea under the mattress, in case you were wondering.”

levi peers over his shoulder—hearing the routine sound of your balcony door sliding open, followed by the familiar warmth of your voice, coated in an obvious layer of sleep.

“yeah? you gonna marry me now that you know i’m the real deal?” he asks, bringing the cigarette sitting between his index and middle finger up to his lips.

he inhales, then exhales—watching a small cloud of smoke hang in the air, and he thinks to himself, i hate this. the cigarettes, and their stale scent—an unwanted guest that sits on his shoulders for days afterwards—the worst company he’s ever had the displeasure of hosting.

it’s merely a last resort though—a bad habit he turns to when the good just can’t scratch his itch, or—when it’s fast asleep beside him.

either way, you’re here now.

“depends,” you hum, nudging the door shut with your foot—hands busy cupping a mug that reads blow me i’m hot. “will you wear something pretty for me?”

it was a gag gift, something you had bought on a whim—it’s sole purpose being to put a smile on levi’s face a few times before inevitably collecting dust in the back of your cupboard. though, the inside of the cup is now littered with little dull lines—a year or two of love from a silver spoon.

“define pretty,” he says, because he knows you—knows the serrated edge of your tongue, down to the very last ridge.

“you.” him? bullshit.

he furrows his brows at you, but remains silent—waiting for you to unsheathe your blade and deliver the punchline.

“get it? because you’re…” you trail off—using the mug in your hand to gesture up and down at him, simultaneously passing the beverage over.

there it is.

“mm, trying to get me into something short, are we?” he hums, easily connecting the dots to your little pun. he flicks the butt of his cigarette several stories down, and sips his tea. “should’ve known.”

“well, you’ve got the legs for it,” you say, shooting him an over the top wink, and he almost laughs—a little puff of air through his nose with a smile.

you on the other hand do laugh, leaning into him a little bit as a result, and oh—the fruity scent of your body wash still lingers on your skin, courtesy of the hot shower you took before bed.

and he can’t help but stare—ridiculous, he knows, even more so considering the one you’re laughing at is him, but—you’re gorgeous. the little scrunch of your nose, and the roundness of your cheeks—the way you look to him for approval, as if to say please laugh too.

you’re a real pain in his ass sometimes, and yet you’re still the best company he’s ever had—it’s awfully comforting to know that at least one of the things he’s addicted to, is good for him. so, he stares at you and he thinks to himself, i love you.

“do you wanna get married?”

he blurts it out, words uttered with the utmost casualty—like he’s simply asking what you want for breakfast in the morning.

“what?” your laughter ceases, and you tilt your head at him.

“to me,” he says, feeling the need to clarify that he didn’t mean a generalized do you want to get married to someone, someday—but a do you want to get married to him, soon.

“levi, are you proposing to me?” you ask, disbelief sitting in the back of your throat as you brush a stray piece of his hair back into place. “because if you are, i think you’re doing it wrong.”

“oh? who said there’s a right way?” he questions, wrapping a hand around your wrist, holding you ever so gently.

“everyone, i think,” you mumble—the intensity of his gaze rooting you to the ground.

levi’s never expressed any interest in the topic of marriage. the status sure as hell wouldn’t change anything—he wouldn’t look at you different, nor would he treat you as such, and he’d still love you the same, always has and always will.

but, you deserve this.

“alright,” he mutters, and just like that he’s sliding the door back open—ushering you back inside.

he’s had the ring for a while—a pretty silver band that splits off into two, intertwining with each other before meeting beneath a single diamond. the place was going out of business, so it was relatively cheap, and in need of a new home.

he walks you to your bedroom, motioning for you to sit on the edge of the mattress as he heads for his nightstand.

a part of him wishes he would’ve brought the ring out onto the balcony with him—maybe someone passing by could’ve given this moment a sliver of the attention it deserves, for your sake.

it doesn’t matter though, because you fiddle with your fingers as you watch him get onto one knee, and you feel the butterflies in your stomach come to life as he opens the little black box—because the only person you need attention from, is him.

“marry me?”

[gabessquishytum]

Time for some dreamling crack! I apologize for the length, it got out of control. Destiny is done. He's just done, okay? He's had enough of his parents who were never there, siblings who are constantly up to some shit, and his ultra-serious job with no vacations. Moreover, being constantly chained to a book (especially when it's such a huge and heavy book) sucks. So, one day he makes an ultimate decision to go on a holiday into some remote galaxy for a century or two, but first, he needs to complete one task that he actually assigned to himself. Technically, he's not supposed to intervene and all that cosmic bullshit, but he's Destiny, and that's his destiny, pun intended. He's the CEO! The year is 1389. Destiny calls Death and tells her they need to go to Dream asap. She's surprised and slightly worried but obeys without questions. Dream is even more surprised - Destiny normally never visits, so the circumstances must be exceptional. Which they are. Destiny is in no mood for pleasantries and gets straight to the business, informing Dream that he needs to get laid for the common good. Dream bluescreens, and so does Death. 'I beg you pardon?' Dream blinks. Destiny never jokes, and he must have misheard… But Destiny, in his impassive, 100% serious tone, repeats that Dream does need to get laid. To prevent the deaths of thousands of dreamers in the 20th century, to prevent the grudge with hell, to save multiple dreams and nightmares, etc., but ultimately, to save himself from the ill fate. 'All this can be prevented if I get laid?' Dream's metaphorical head is spinning. 'Yes,' Destiny deadpans. 'Okay...' Death interrupts cautiously. 'Why am I here, though?' 'Because he needs to get laid regularly, and there is only one human who can handle this task. He must be made immortal for this reason.'

Dream feels like the Dream.exe file has been irrevocably damaged. 'I need to get laid regularly?' He repeats weakly. 'Brother, you know how important my function is. I have no time for-' 'This is exactly why you meet your doom in all the futures but one.' '…where I'm getting laid?' Destiny nods. Death beams. Dream pales to a previously unexisting shade of white. Without further ado, Destiny takes them all to the White Horse, buys some ale (his vacation mood starts to kick in - he expected more objections from Dream), and nods at one table. 'Robert Gadling. He is the chosen one.' 'Brother, you surely do not want me to lay with a mortal who has fleas and hasn't bathed for Delirium knows how long,' says terrified Dream. 'I surely do. Fleas are the least of your potential problems, little brother.' 'Alright.' Death says. 'Robert Gadling is immortal now. Can I go?' Destiny nods again. Death smiles and, before disappearing, loudly whispers to Dream to invite her to the wedding. Dream glances one last time at his brother and approaches Robert's table. If this is his destiny...and it's for the greater good of the universe and dreamers...Besides, this Robert Gadling is quite handsome - well, unwashed and smelly, but handsome still. Destiny is very pleased. Now, he only needs to sign up Desire for a few millennia of uncancellable therapy, and he can go drink his cocktails in a galaxy far, far away!

I love this, thank you so much for writing it all out. It really made me chuckle.

I'm absolutely obsessed with the idea of Destiny just getting really sick of the universe and all the bullshit that it contains. He's the equivalent of a harassed middle aged working parent attempting to keep everything under control and inevitably watching it all go to shit. He deserves such a good vacation, I hope there's a really good spa in the galaxy he's picked out.

Being the oldest sibling is hard, even when you come from a family of cosmic entities. And honestly? Destiny kind of likes the look of his new human brother-in-law. If this guy can keep Dream from going off the rails then that's wonderful, but the fact that he's cute? Also helps. Destiny may be blind but he is not immune to the Hobpropaganda. He's actually kind of not dreading the next family dinner? He can already see that it's going to run a whole lot smoother with Hob around the table.

But first: bottomless mimosas in a different star system. Bye, losers!

[makethatelevenrings]

Hello, hello! I really like your writing so I'll take this chance and for Valentine's Day I'd love if you write some healthy relationships headcanons with Jason Todd. I know this might be super weird, but I just want reader to validate him, to make him feel safe and good enough, strong enough, the poor boy deserves that, his head is a mess so I just want him to rest in reader's arms and be in a healthy space, please 😭 reader can be another vigilante if you don't mind!

Thank you!!

sweet baby boy. physical tank of a man. baby. tank. baby girl.

he doesn't understand why you stay. why you love him. why you care. no amount of words seems to get through his thick skull

so you start doing little things around the apartment

making sure his coffee is ready the way he likes it in the morning, hot and steaming and in his favorite mug

making sure he's set before patrol. you check and double check his equipment and even clean his helmet before the moon rises.

it started as a joke. you always told him a pun or a joke before he left, purposefully leaving off the ending so that he would have to come back and hear it. you crook your finger and he leans down, his helmet pressing against your forehead. you cup the cool metal where his cheek should be and murmur out your joke before kissing the line in the mask where his lips were hidden.

when he comes crawling back in the early hours of the morning, you roll over in bed and greet him with a gentle kiss and the punchline to the joke

he struggles to communicate his feelings sometimes but you never push. you just sit next to him, your fingers tangled in the short hair at the base of his neck as you wait for him to finally speak. his voice cracks as he whispers aloud the nightmare that tore him from sleep last night. "and he was just standing there...Bruce was standing there watching him fucking hit me again and again and-"

you pull him closer, your forehead resting against his temple. tears are building in your eyes because your heart aches when he's in pain. you pepper his cheeks with kisses and pull his head to rest on your chest, whispering assurances that he's no longer in that warehouse.

whenever he's standing in front of you in some form of undress, you're totally complimenting the hell out of him

he's bright red as you wolf whistle

hell, you're fawning over him when he's in full suit as well

you're his best friend. his main supporter. his lover. his confidante. and you know that he is yours. when the memories become too much and he's back in the Pit, drowning against the rage and grief, he looks up and sees your hand extending down to him.

he always clasps it and lets you pull him out.

[insanityofbones]

𝐀𝐥𝐚𝐬, 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡.

† 𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 : Werewolf!Giyuu X Fem!Sub!Reader

† 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 : Knotting, predator and prey, marking, monsterfucking, nipple play, breeding kink, a few puns i think, drooling and growling alot with a slight spit kink, reader is referred to as a mate

† 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 : Around 1k

† 𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔 : Mostly for Desi, she deserves it. Enjoy 🥀

The sounds of his huffing from behind you caused fear to install itself upon you. Your legs hurt from the running, sweat dripping from your poor hair that sometimes caught spiderwebs. Within a second he was over you.

You were simply a citizen who accidentally fell in love with a Hashira, and who he, felt the same for you. Yet he held a secret, the fact he was a horrible monster lurking in the dark. Worried you would change your opinion on him, only to miscalculate when the full moon would be out on your date. Transforming right as you began to kiss, and you running away in a scream.

Now you were on your back, the smell of dirt invading your senses. Vibrant yellow eyes set onto your face, claws gripping the dirt at the sides of your head. His most primal urge was to eat you. Despite the fact he was also incredibly aroused. He should have fell in love with another fucking Werewolf but he fell for you and only you. A human. "Y/N...." He growled his words, drool seeping from between his now sharp canines, unable to control the insatiable hunger. Only to kiss you with a loud gasp.

His hands were rapidly trying to unclasp his belt, tonight you both were going to have sex anyways. It would be your first time sleeping with him, but you were never experienced with a monster. You only slept with your other partner once—

A moan was ripped from your lungs while your back arched. His swollen tip right at your entrance, starting to push in. A loud huff from you along with pants and a whine.

"Stay still..." He growled again, finally pushing further and stretching you out. It was like fire, turned into sparks of electricity down your spine as he somewhat eased into you. Drool covered your face, your red tongue lacing over it, sweet like honey. Something you definitely wouldn't forget anytime soon. "G-Giyu-" His first few thrusts were to get a rhythm, his hips meeting yours. He hadn't even prepped you properly but he just needed to be inside of you, he needed to mate you. His cock delved deep into your cunt, feeling the way you clenched with each whine. His muscles constricted as he thrusted into you, your entire body jolting with the pure force. It was something extraordinary, the way his eyes were locked onto your bouncing chest, it only seemed to make you wetter. Plus his nice girth filled you to the brim already, not to a horribly painful extent. Just enough to make you want more.

Your hands shot up to hook around his neck, your own eyes half lidded and mind going foggy. Moaning his name into the woods for all to hear, not giving a shit for whatever might even be out there.

Giyuu held himself with one arm up, using his other hand to rip off your yukata. Your breasts revealed for his beautiful moonlike eyes to see. More of his sweet sweet drool dropping onto them, only for his head to delve and suck the soft flesh. Ecstacy written in your face as he lapped at it like some sort of dog. His speed didn't decrease, and neither did his ferocity, humping into you like he was in some sort of fuck craze. Exactly like a horny animal.

Tomioka let go of your nipple with a soft pop, the bud now hard and darker due to the exaggerated blood flow of his sucking.

Now desperately bucking into you. The need to breed and make a litter, set in his veins. "G-gonna c-um..." Your eyes widened, was he really going to cum in you? This early in the relationship? God it felt good, you didn't even want him to stop— to hell, you'd fucking bear his kids.

His growls turned into small whines as you and him came at the same time, stars lining your vision while you bucked your hips for more exposure. Only to feel the warm seed spill into you, painting every inch of your insides with his children.

Suddenly you felt even more full, him not pulling out yet. Your eyes gazed down to where you both met, him eagerly shallowing bucking into you. His face all red, him realizing he was now knotted. His dick twitching with the anticipation of seeing you with his pups. Part of you wanted him to move, but everytime he moved his hips back the knot kept him inside, just stretching you and making you moan. It was heaven.

When Giyuu had finally stopped greedily thrusting into you, even if it was short ones, he collapsed onto your chest. Sweat lined the both of you. Your eyes darted to the moon up above, looking at the sky.

Why did you run from him?

You loved him.

He was your mate.

Tags : @desi-the-blue-eyed-kakushi

[gojos-thot-patrol]

Can we have some NANAMIN~~ hehehe

Nanami Kento, Jealousy, “Isn’t your boyfriend in the other room?”

Ya'll can ALWAYS have some Nanami, he is ALWAYS on the menu 💛💛💛

Now Presenting...

Starring: A very jealous Nanami Kento

This party fucking sucked. The house smelled like litter box, the vibe was disgusting, and the drinks were as weak as the music choice. Though, all of those reasons kinda paled in comparison to the real reason this party sucked for Nanami: You had brought your new boyfriend here. Not that he cared. It was fine. He was in your bed less than a week ago, probably while you were still talking to the walking asshole guy you were with now, so this guy really can’t be that important, but whatever. It didn’t matter to him, because it clearly didn’t matter to you. He got another drink, this time mixing his own in order to insure that his vodka redbull was actually a vodka redbull, and not just a redbull that thought really really hard about a vodka shot.

“Hey man, did you see that guy that Y/n showed up with?!” Gojo asked as he walked into the kitchen, “Dude, shes fucking cheating!”

“Satoru!” Geto snapped, punching his shoulder to remind him that hey, maybe this situation required a bit more tact. Kento quickly poured a shot of tequila and threw it back, much to the horror of Suguru and the awe of Gojo.

“Not cheating, we weren’t official.” Nanami gasped, focusing on the burn in his throat to ignore the tightness in his chest. 

“Kento, do you want to go?” Suguru asked, pointing a thumb to the door, “We can just drink at home, play some Tekken. Honestly it sounds more fun than this.” He offered, trying to give Nanami an out from the awkward situation. 

“Yea!” Gojo agreed, “This party sucks anyway, its full of frat boys.” Kento chuckled and took a drink from his vodka with a splash of redbull. He really did appreciate his roommates, and how they always had his back, even in small ways. But he wasn’t going to leave this party immediately after you showed up with some bastard. Because that would mean admitting defeat, and Nanami would never admit defeat. 

“Nah, I think I’m going to socialize actually,” Kento said with a shrug. Suguru and Satoru shared a worried look, but didn’t push the issue further as Nanami left the kitchen. He went to the livingroom. He saw you sitting on the couch next to the wannabe tech bro you brought, laughing with your whole body at some joke he said. He bet it wasn’t even funny. Probably some cheesy pun he stole off of twitter. That dick probably had an NFT profile pic and actually started calling it X the moment daddy musk told him too. Fucking bootlicker. What the hell did he have that Nanami didn’t? He didn’t fucking deserve you. So why the fuck did you choose him?

He snapped out of his definitely not jealousy fueled spiral long enough to realize that he was not only staring, but he felt his eyes prickle with tears. Oh no, no no no fuck no! He quickly wiped away the drop that fell before rushing to the bathroom. He would be damned before he was caught crying at a fucking house party. Especially over a woman he never really had to begin with. Someone who never really took whatever it was they had as seriously as he did.

He was thankful to find the downstairs bathroom empty, slipping in and all but throwing his back against the door. This fucking sucked. This really fucking sucked. Suguru had warned him once he started catching feelings, that he either had to say something or stop answering your calls, stop calling you. That to do anything else was just setting himself up for hurt if you didn’t feel the same way. He didn’t take him very seriously at the time. Kento made a mental note to pay for at least one of his drinks as an apology next time the group went bar hopping.

He took a deep, jagged breath, trying to ground himself. Okay. Okay. He probably wasn’t going to cry anymore. He pushed himself off of the bathroom door, going to the sink to splash his face. He threw cold water on his face, and was in the middle of crying it off when the door opened.

“Hey! It’s called knocking!” He snapped at the intruder. 

“I’m sorry, I did!” You yelped, “You didn’t answer!”

“Y/n?” Nanami asked, filling himself deflate at your smile. You finished walking in, closing the door behind you.

“Oh, hey Kento! I didn’t know you were here. You look good” You winked. He repressed the urge to roll his eyes.

“Gee, thanks. That means so much.” He words were soaked in sarcasm, voice laced with contempt.

“Whoa, who pissed in your cheerios this morning?’ You asked, very much feeling the hostile vibe he was putting out, “Are you ok?”

“Yea, I’m fine.” Nanami shook his head, “Just…rough day, I guess.” He grumbled, not really in the mood for confrontation at that moment. You gave him a sly grin, slipping to close the space between the two of you. Your hand landed on his chest, and you looked at him through long eyelashes.

“Hey, I have an idea of what could make you feel better,” You purred, your hands falling to his belt buckle. Much to your surprise, but honestly more so his, He was quick to grab your wrist and stop you.

“Oh come on Y/n,” He scoffed, “Really? Isn’t your boyfriend in the other room?” He accused, venom dripping from his very soul. “I thought you were better than that.” You just looked at him confused, trying to think about what the hell he was talking about. 

“Um, what?” You asked, only adding fuel to his rage.

“Oh come on Y/n, don’t play dumb! I saw that guy you came in with. Were you ever planning on telling me?” He snapped. Slowly, the confusion left your face, only to be replaced with amusement. You started laughing. You started laughing. Nanami shook his head, a tic quickly forming in his jaw.

“You’re really laughing right now? Thats so low Y/n, I can’t believe-”

“My cousin.” You said, stopping Kento in his tracks.

“What?”

“My cousin! That guy I showed up with? Yea, that’s my cousin Nanami!” You laughed, thoroughly entertained by the whole situation. You could see the math flashing before Nanami's eyes as he took in what you were saying. Now that he was thinking about it, nothing you did was particularly romantic, you just kinda…existed around him. 

Oh my god.

Nanami started laughing too, unable to believe how worked up he got over literally nothing. He felt so utterly ridiculous, and honestly he kinda deserved that feeling.

“Oh my god it’s your cousin,” He said as chuckles started coming out, “I was really going to fight your cousin.”

“You were gonna fight him?!” You howled with laughter, having to brace yourself against the door.

“Yea! I was!” Nanami confirmed with a laugh, unable to believe he got so worked up over nothing, “Oh man, that would have been so bad.”

“And what did we learn?” You teased.

“That I need to be more forgiving of characters that fall into the miscommunication trope.”

“No, you numpty!” You playfully groaned, lightly pushing him, “It’s not a miscommunication if you never communicated in the first place!”

“Oh, yeah that too.” He joked with a grin. They two of you stayed giggling like that for a few more moments before he pulled you into a hug, just relieved that it was all a misunderstanding. The two of you left the bathroom hand in hand, no doubt turning a few heads, but who really cared. He didn’t at least.

“You know, as weird as this is to say, it was kinda hot seeing you jealous,” You teased, “You don’t get that way often.” He simply shrugged.

“Yea well, I think anyone would get jealous if they saw their girlfriend show up to a party with a random guy.”

“Oh, so I’m your girlfriend now?” You asked, a smile pulling at your lips. He could feel the blush dusting his cheeks. 

“I mean, yea. If you want to be..” He offered. You grinned and jumped into his arms, kissing his cheek. He held you close and smiled.

“I thought you’d never ask.” 

[onsunnyside]

yet another prompt from my bestie’s ask: drum roll please (pun intended)… here’s drummer!Rafe

The road to stardom is wild and loud, full of flashing lights and cheering crowds in a new city every night. It's also full of distractions that come in various shapes and colours, whether that be liquor bottles, a white powdery substance, or the endless line of groupies. Rafe and his band are no strangers to indulging in those distractions, the rugged and crazy lifestyle quickly became a part of their rockstar image.

You have a dream to make it big, and to see your name on the silver screen with the generation's greatest. Unfortunately, Hollywood was beyond tough on those who weren't already born within the golden gates. You're a lucky one, with all your hard work and sleepless nights, you go from waitressing and living in a trailer park in L.A. to living comfortably in your dream home with a resume that just keeps getting longer and longer.

You meet Rafe at a mutual friend's party. You've been close with one of his bandmates for a little while, and finally got the opportunity to meet the rest of them.

Your first impressions are awful, to say the least: you were excited to meet the drummer of the famed rock band and have been staring at him all night, working up the courage one smidge at a time. When he slips out the balcony doors, you take your chance.

Rafe's leaning over the railing, cigarette hanging from between his fingers as he types on his phone. When you step beside him, he glances at you, blue eyes lazily dragging over your figure.

"I thought groupies weren't allowed in here."

You stand there dumbfounded, jaw on the floor as he blows the smoke.

"I'm not—"

He cuts you off with a heavy sigh, "don't tell me you're a friend of a friend, or a classmate from childhood, or someone's long-distance girlfriend. I've heard it all, trust me."

You cross your arms, heat filling your chest, "Do you talk to everyone like that?"

"Just those who deserve it." His voice is low, "Beat it, sweetheart. You don't want to get thrown out and risk ruining that pretty dress, now do you?"

You don't know what his problem was. For someone so loved and adored, he was a fucking asshole. You supposed that's the lovely work of PR teams, they can make even the cruellest monsters into angels. Hell, even your team worked tirelessly to maintain your image.

"You're still here? Don't you have a security guard to blow, or a tour bus to break into?" He asks condescendingly, hair falling over his forehead as he leans down, studying you with that stupid smirk. “Who are you fucking, huh? Is it one of the desperate socialites, or the wannabe models?”

His laugh breaks into a shout when your drink splashes on his face, the alcohol dripping down his chin to his chains and silk blue shirt, "what the fuck—"

You don't stay long enough to hear his curses and return to the penthouse, promising yourself to never speak to him again.

I'm sensing... hate fucking: his hand is over your mouth and you're pressed against the tiled wall, dress hiked up and legs around his waist. The party rages on inside the club, hopefully still lively enough that no one will notice your absence. Tonight was for you to celebrate your first big award win, you didn't know Rafe was coming with your mutual friend, and you'd die before admitting that you're glad he did.

You can't help your moans, his cock effortlessly hitting your sweet spot with every rock. He fills you so deeply, stretching your hole with his fat girth, and it pains you to know that he's ruined you for anyone else. You just know you'll be a limping mess.

"Shut up. God, you never fucking shut up." He grunts, his hand falling to your throat, "You wanna get caught? Want everyone to know you're fucking a... what is it you called me?"

He grinds into you and you gasp, gaze locked on his lips. He was a great kisser, the best you've ever had, but you'd never tell him that, just like how you refused to ask for another.

"A-An ungrateful prick."

His eyes gleamed dangerously, sweat brimming at his brow, "Yeah, that's it. I bet you're grateful I didn't leave when you told me to."

He keeps you pinned to the wall with his hips and his other hand slips where you meet. His skillful fingers toy with your needy bundle and your body convulses, your juices nearly dripping down his length.

"And you said I never shut up."

A harsh slap lands on your clit and your choked whimper turns into a loud whine when he repeats the action again, harder this time. The lewd sounds of your wetness bounce off the washroom walls. If you had any shame left, it was gone now, tucked in his pocket with your torn underwear.

"You'll be on your knees and thanking me by the end of the night. I can promise you that."

I can only imagine how nasty drummer!Rafe is 😮‍💨 the kinks, the spitting, the choking, the messy "let me fuck my cum back into you," the tasteful nude polaroids, and wiping your tears when you cum so hard you cry, "that's it. let it out, baby. such a good girl for daddy."

Can't forget about the disgusting lyrics he'd write about you (ofc there are sweet ones too but that's not until later), telling the whole world how much he loves the way you taste and feel, how you're his filthy little angel and that you bring him closer to heaven with your body.

Oh the sexting !! When he's on tour and you're working, it's hard to make time for each other. Sometimes he'll send you a picture of his hard bulge through his jeans with a cheeky "wish you were here." When you win another big award (and inevitably become a style icon overnight bc of your dress), he sends flowers, cute lil note, and ofc, a nut video with sound 😌 "the next time I see you, I'm fucking you in that dress."

[torra-and-the-toons]

Ok, I’ve been thinking about this request for a while, but have been putting it off.

Could you do a drawing based off the episode L.O.C.K.D.O.W.N? It’s one of my favorites and the vampire designs are generally cool and deserve more attention!

Anyway, enjoy 😋

I'll be honest, the Vampires weird me out but only because of the spanking aspect (and the fact they had to spank a grown man to change back like excuse me??) Their designs are cool as hell though. If they existed without the spanking aspect, they wouldn't weird me out as much.

This might not be quite what you had in mind, but one of my coworkers told me a funny pun that I thought I could use for this very request.

I like to think it's the real reason they were so determined to change back lmao.