#I do think it’d be fun with some weird sex after one has gotten one over the other dynamic

[softnoirr]

bestie you once mentioned offhand an au of pdd where christen sleeps with alex and it has stayed in my head ever since - what would be the context! when! does tobin find out! hit me with your thoughts if you’re into it, I love a rare pair!!

I do vaguely remember saying that but I also cannot find it so everything I'm saying now could totally contradict what I said then but. I think like. if C's relationship to T (not with her but towards her) is based in feelings of grief and anger then her relationship to Alex is much more acidic. They do have a lot of history but most of it is just time spent in the same vicinity of each other, coldly ignoring one another, sharing friends and being jealous. So I feel like them hooking up would be a much more viscous overflow but also much less weighted for them.

Probably it would be one of them getting the role the other wanted in studio company and having sex about it. If it was an ongoing thing I could see it being a moment after a Grand Prix where one of them won and the other messed up—probably with a lot of goading and also I do believe in this AU Alex is the kind of character who would wear her Grand Prix medal while having sex with C in the hotel afterwards. I don’t think it works as well as a dynamic between the two adult versions of the characters but I can still see some level of that bizarre psychosexual staunch avoidance thing they have going on.

Body and your relationship to your body and your connection to other peoples bodies and peoples perceived ownership or entitlement to your body is at the heart of a lot of pdd and because C and Alex have both been basically raised in that environment I think them hooking up would be very much about acting out frustration in a way they both understand. Like; Move like this because you feel this.

Like I sincerely don't mean for sex in this story to be about power. It isn't—even when power is a dynamic within it—but it is kind of about a feeling of being present in your own body for the first time, manipulating your body for someone else’s pleasure while getting to be the object rather than the subject of that pleasure.

I think how Tobin would react to it depends on any number of factors which would change with the context. Like if C and T were sleeping together the way they are in the actual story I think it would probably mean the end of the sexual part of their relationship, at least for a while, because T feels very invested in what she does with C and it would feel cheapened by finding out about Alex. If it was something that happened as teenagers I think she’d be kind of weirded out by it but hey we’ve all had weird overly invested hate sex with christen press so. actually this makes tobin very feel normal and usual and regular and it’s fine.

[1940scrowley]

GENESIS

rating: explicit (mdni)

word count: 8k

summary: you and steven get together after a night out. there is not enough plot to justify the length tbh. co-written with @screamforstu ; we are bad at endings sorry <3

content warnings: smut. oral - f receiving, p in v sex, unprotected sex, steven has little experience but he’s a quick learner. marc is involved for like two seconds. was proof read once during editing lmao. by reading beyond this point, you agree that you are 18+.

Steven felt nerves creeping up his spine as he walked down the hallway to his flat with you. His first official date with you had gone really well, save for the few moments he had Marc in his head, interrupting his time with you. All he could do was tune out the other man as well as he could. 

He’s literally fought alongside you, and he probably shouldn’t be so nervous around you after everything you have all been through together. But he really liked you, and a dating setting was very different to one on a battlefield. He wanted to impress you.

He let out a quiet sigh as he dug through his pockets in search of the key. He found it after a bit of fumbling around, and he quickly inserted the key into the lock and opened the door. God, he was fine up until these moments, what has gotten into him? 

He let you walk through the door first, following close behind but immediately getting nervous over the thought that he might be too close. He could practically hear Marc laughing at him. 

With a little thud and a faint click, the door to his flat was shut. 

He removed his jacket, hanging it on the rack before looking blindly around his flat. He didn’t know what to do, his dates have never actually lasted this long. But now you lived with them, so it only made it a bit more awkward for him.

He decided to visit his fish, giving the little creature a bit of food while he tried to think of something to say. He stared at his reflection, hoping Marc would see him struggling, if the other wasn’t already aware, and coached him through this a bit. 

‘ Steven, relax. I know I was making fun of you earlier but you’re not doing half bad. I think you really got a shot with her tonight. ’ 

The words made him stumble backwards, and he glanced at you, hoping he didn’t disturb whatever you were doing. He had a shot with you? What shot? Marc didn’t mean…

‘ You know exactly what I mean, Steven. Go over and make small talk. The rest will play out as it should. ’

Steven swallowed thickly, finally looking away from the bright fish tank and going over to the kitchen where you had been standing. He leaned on the counter, making an attempt to appear calm even though his heart was absolutely hammering in his chest. If it had been physically possible, he thought his heart might actually leap out of his chest. 

‘ Silence is a killer. Just ask her if she had a nice night. ’ 

Steven was kind of glad he had Marc in his head to offer him some advice, as weird as it seemed. He wasn’t entirely sure how he felt of the other being present right now, but it was comforting. He couldn’t imagine how any of his other dates would have gone without Marc telling him what to say at the end of the night. 

He looked down at you, offering a nice smile as he asked, “Tonight, uh- was it all right?” 

‘ Well, that’s definitely a start. ’

— 

For you, the walk back to the flat was too silent, the kind of silent that rang in your ears. You kept hoping that Steven would look back over his shoulder and speak, replacing the ringing with his voice, but you were left disappointed. Even though you’d heard his voice all night, which pleased you more than you could explain, you wanted him to keep rambling. 

Harrow and the gods, the danger that had become your life in this short amount of time, it’d meant that you hadn’t had many- or any, chances to enjoy life. Agreeing to this date with Steven was a decision you didn’t regret.

You stood behind him as he fumbled for the key to your shared flat. Your eyes fell to his hand, watching the way it trembled slightly and you couldn’t help the small smile that curved onto your face. You made it through a whole date, what was there to be nervous about now? 

You’d always been rather confident, even in your dating life, this fact partook in keeping you and Marc’s relationship on its feet for many years. But, tonight, you found yourself feeling similarities to how you felt with Marc; timid. Your own anxieties bubbled up a little inside and you just wanted to pop them, god forbid they got in your way. You thanked him as he let you in first, glad your back was to him or he’d see the grin that spread across your face at the feeling of his closeness. He radiated good energies, warmth, you could’ve been blindfolded and ears plugged and still know he was right there.

Your jacket, too thin to keep you warm despite not making it obvious, was hung on the rack and your feet carried you to the kitchen. At first, you walked to the counter, crossing your arms over it. Your head turned to Steven but dropped a little when he went towards the fish tank instead.

Still, your frown didn’t stick. You liked the attachment he had with the fish and its tank, it was so innocent and sweet.

Innocent and sweet- it was unspoken, but you had moments where you wondered if there was even a hint of something darker within Steven, a desire that he’d been hiding inside of him. A lust, a deeper passion, a tug in a direction that strayed from innocence.

You got off the counter and found yourself standing, rather awkwardly, in the middle of the counter. You were glad that you weren’t left there for too long. When Steven was close again, you let out a small breath that you hadn’t even realised was being held as he made his way towards you.

You looked up at him with big, curious eyes, waiting for words to break your silence. When they did, finally, you gave him a quick giggle and nod of your head.

“Tonight was great, Steven, really,” you started, and as you spoke your eyes trailed down his face. They landed on his lips, taking in the smile he offered you. He still looked nervous, like his mind was running a thousand miles per second.

A mindless moment had you stood in front of him at the counter, head tilted to look at the taller man. 

You admired the innocence, the gentleness and kindness of Steven, traits that men failed to possess enough of. He was so unique, and kept you reaching for more. 

But as your hand met his arm before you even knew you had moved it, and felt the muscle in your palm, you pressed your fingers into his skin as if you needed to hold on.

“I had a lovely time, thank you.” 

Your eyes were flickering, unable to pick one place to focus on, until for a quick second they were back on his lips. But really for just a quick second before they shut, your other hand coming up to his chest for support as you leaned onto your tiptoes. You stopped before your lips met, a split second but enough to let your lips brush together as you felt the heat of his breath hit your mouth. But not another second was wasted before you finally kissed him. Your fingers closed around the fabric of his shirt, using that and his arm to keep you on your feet as you felt your legs turn to jelly.

—

Steven kept his eyes on you, not wanting to look away. To him, you are absolutely stunning, and he found it hard to believe you were standing in front of him and he was about to spend the rest of the night with you. It was long overdue. 

He closed his eyes and let out a breath upon hearing that you had a good time. He felt his body relax, feeling better about himself knowing that he had done something right. He knew how awkward he was, Marc made sure of that, and those thoughts plagued his mind even while he mindlessly rambled on back at the restaurant. 

‘ See, Steven? She had fun, you did good. ’

Marc’s voice was loud inside his head as he looked down at you. Steven didn’t take the praise lightly. 

His mind came to a full stop when he felt your hand on his arm, and he sucked in a breath. Your touch sent sparks up his arm that spread through his body, making butterflies erupt in his stomach. He almost didn’t hear the second sentence you said.

Marc was watching from the reflections and it took everything in Steven’s power to not look over at him. He wasn’t used to this, he didn’t know how he should react. 

‘ Alright, Steven. Everyone in a mile-long radius can see that she wants you. Go on, kiss her. ’

Steven never thought he’d hear Marc say those words, encouraging him to kiss you. His wife.

‘ Look, I know you’re oblivious to the signs, but I can see them very well. ’ 

Obviously, right? He’s spent a lot more time with you than Steven has. 

‘ Steven, ‘ Marc snapped at him in the mirror. ‘Stop being afraid. Give her what she wants. You. ’

And before Steven could do anything else, your hand had found its way to his chest and your face was close to his. He couldn’t help but hesitate, even as your lips grazed against each other’s.

When Steven hesitated, you couldn’t help but wonder if he didn’t want this, your fingers loosening on his shirt. But you didn’t let go. A chance for him to reciprocate the move. 

‘ Steven, if you don’t do something about this, I swear I will take control of the body and do it myself. ’

And then Steven felt your fist close around his shirt, then your lips finally against his. God, he’d kissed you before, but this time it was different. It was still as awkward as the first, but it felt just as surreal to him. You had one hand on his arm, pinning it to the counter, so he used his free hand to grab your waist and pull you in impossibly closer. When he did so, your whole body relaxed against him, not having realised how tense it was. Steven could feel the relaxation under his touch. 

‘ There you go, buddy. ’ 

He didn’t know where the move came from, but he was so glad he did it. He could feel your body up against his and his hand flexed on your side as he moved you slowly, so your body was against the counter. 

His arm was no longer pinned, but his movements were slow and careful as he brought his second hand to your waist; he didn’t want you to let go of him. Your own hands were now sliding up his shoulder, then his neck, before your fingers nestled in the hair that lay on the nape of his neck. You wanted to tug on the curls, but decided just to play a little with the soft strands.

‘ Take her to the bed. ’

Now, as much as Steven appreciated the advice, he really wanted Marc to shut the fuck up.

But of course he listened. He continued to kiss you for a few more seconds before trying to guide you both back to the bed. He tugged lightly on your waist as he moved backwards, encouraging you to move with him so that the kiss didn’t break. And it was going well until he managed to bump into the stand his fish tank rested on. It caught him off guard and he grunted as your lips fell apart. The breaking of your kiss ripped a whimper from your lips, a sound you had no idea you possessed. But then you smiled, a small chuckle filling the room.

‘ Idiot. ’ He heard Marc laughing.

He fixed himself and looked back down at you, stifling a nervous laugh. “Alright, maybe we can just walk over…’’ 

Steven glared daggers at the reflection of Marc in the tank once he re-collected himself and you weren’t looking. “That’s enough out of you,” he mouthed harshly towards Marc, not wanting you to know that your husband was practically co-piloting your experience. 

He was so quick to guide you to the bed, but he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know where he wanted to place himself but he did know that he had to decide very quickly. 

And before he knew it, he was sitting on the bed, inviting you to sit on top of him. He had a hand out to you, looking up at you with nothing short of adoration in his eyes. He never thought he’d find himself in this position.

You reached for Steven’s hand, holding onto it as you walked closer to him. His lips were a little red, wet, and god did you wish you could skip the part where you had to walk and just wrap yourself around him. When you did, climbing up onto his lap with a knee resting on each side of him, you trapped your bottom lip between your teeth. You had sat in a position that avoided his dick, more so to avoid causing him any discomfort because despite the bravery and change of character from Steven, you didn’t know how far he was wanting you two to go. Though, there was no ignoring the ache that you were feeling between your legs, crying for friction as you had to hold back from rolling your hips into his.

The look in Steven’s eyes as he looked at you made you feel all sorts of good, a warmth filled you up, a feeling you’d not felt in a while. Marc used to make you feel this way, like a schoolgirl with a crush, and you were sure that he could do that all over again but it’d been rough between you two lately. Though, the longer the three of you spent together, the more the trouble faded away and the love tried pushing back up to the surface.

“Steven…” Your voice was barely above a whisper.

Steven let out a breath as his eyes trailed down your body and back up. His smile never faltered. He was absolutely loving the way you looked right now, the way you looked down at him. He never thought he would get this far, but here he was with you on his lap. At the whisper of his name, he gripped your waist. God, he loved the sound of his name coming from your mouth and he wanted to hear you say it again. 

Then your lips were back on his, hands on his shoulders to keep yourself balanced as you allowed your tongue to slide along his bottom lip, a move that had your lips trembling. A little breath escaped as your tongue darted against his lip and he parted them, letting you in. Something spurred within him and he kissed back passionately, rougher than he did the first time. You had tried not to break the kiss with a smile when he let you into his mouth, but the smile was gone when he roughened the kiss, taking you by surprise. You let out a small sound of pleasure, getting lost in his mouth, grip on his hair tightening. Then, he pulled your hips up against his, more desperate for the closeness than ever. You had moved your hand to his arm at some point, now feeling the muscles of his arm flex when he moved you.

Despite everything that was sweet and gentle about Steven, his body was strong and you wanted to feel and appreciate every inch of it. You’d seen Marc’s body, of course, but this was Steven- somehow, it felt like a whole different body to explore. 

When your hips connected, a small gasp left your mouth, parting lips with him for a moment as your forehead pressed to his. Your eyes remained closed. The gasp alone turned him on even more. Though a little whimper left his mouth when you broke the kiss. Still, he leaned his head into your touch, one hand coming up to get tangled in your hair.

As you started to place light kisses on his face and slowly rolled your hips into his, Steven could feel his desires slowly shifting from those of want to those of need. He could feel the heat between his legs as he made that move, and he was beyond glad that he did. It created that friction that left him wanting more, and it had him gaining a bit more confidence in himself, even though his lack of experience was probably showing. 

Steven felt himself grow hard, his cock starting to strain against the fabric that contained it. The feeling of you on him was beginning to drive Steven wild, and even though you’d gotten this far, that Marc flat out told him that you wanted him, he was still rather unsure of the whole thing. But he was willing to experiment and pay attention, just in case you wanted to stop. 

He started at the bottom of your shirt, slipping his hands between the material so he could touch your skin. He kept one hand firm on your waist so you wouldn’t fall while his other was snaking up, exploring your back before eventually coming back down.

As he did this, you tilted your head, forgetting his lips for a while to focus on pressing gentle kisses to his jawline, up to the little spot behind his ear. As you did this, you could feel your skin grow goosebumps from where his fingers were touching your bare skin. You tried to lean into the touch but at the same tried to roll your hips into his, slowly but enough to draw a small pleasured sound from your throat. You could feel the length of him growing, could tell how much his body was needing this as well- you were more than willing to give him whatever it was he wanted.

You lifted your mouth to his ear, and again your voice was a whisper.

“I want you, Steven..”

Then you pulled back, looking down to where your hips met before bringing your hands to his chest, lifting your eyes to meet him with a sweet smile. 

The whisper sent goosebumps down his spine, causing his stomach to turn with nerves. Hearing you say you want him had him wanting to please you, wanting to make you feel just as good as you made him feel with just these little motions. 

“Whatever you want… whatever you don’t… just tell me…” she reassured, all the while her fingers were on the buttons of his shirt, unbuttoning them. Slow movements, giving Steven time to tell her to stop if he wanted to. 

His eyes met yours, his mouth hanging open a bit as he looked up at you, watching and listening intently. The hand that was messing with your hair found its way to your chin. He caressed your skin lightly, pairing it with a response.

“You, I just want you,” he whispered breathily. 

He looked down at the spot where your hands were, unbuttoning his shirt. You worked the last button and once it was open, he took his shirt off and tossed it to the side. 

A part of him couldn’t help but feel insecure now that one piece of his clothing was gone. Sure, you’d seen his body before- but it was Marc’s, there’s no doubt in his mind that you two have been through this before. But it was him in control of the body now, and he wasn’t used to anyone else seeing it but him.

But you.. Your breath got caught in your throat. Your suspicions were confirmed. It felt like you were seeing his body for the first time. Your gaze trailed along his collarbones, across to his shoulders, flickered to his chest and further down. 

He rested one hand on your thigh, squeezing gently while the other went back up to your face, slowly guiding your lips back to his. He missed the intimate contact, he was hoping to regain it.

And he did; he caught you in a kiss again, the hand on your leg slowly trailing up to your waist, landing just under your shirt again. The idea of taking your shirt off struck him, making him excited and nervous at the same time. 

He got on with it, lifting the fabric up, pouting when he had to break away from you in order to slip the garment over your head. He tossed it to the side as he’d done with his own, before looking back at you, utterly starstruck. 

The sight before him was stunning, gorgeous- he didn’t actually know where to look anymore. 

His hands grazed along your stomach as he looked and he realised he was staring. “God- sorry, I’m-” he stared some more as he brought his eyes back up to you. “You’re gorgeous.” 

You broke into a smile when he apologised, your smile softening at the compliment, hands coming up to cup his cheeks. However, you couldn’t help the sudden shyness as he stared at you. You weren’t insecure in your skin, you were proud of your body actually, but now you weren’t sure what to do, how to react. What you did know, however, was that you wanted him to lower his hand, touch you all over, run those fingers in the most intimate of places.

“Don’t apologise, it’s okay to look, Steven,” you reassured him, eyes meeting his pair again. While his eyes had been looking at you full of adoration, yours were matching his, a sparkle in them as you watched him.

A small giggle left your lips and you shyly dropped your eyes, just for a split moment. “Thank you.” 

Then, though hesitantly, you reached behind your back as your teeth sucked in your bottom lip, unclipping your bra. As you pulled the straps down your shoulders, your eyes were flickering over his face, waiting to see if there was any sign of uncertainty or regret. While you hoped he wouldn’t stop this now, you’d respect the decision if he did. As much as you wanted to do it all now, get rid of the clothes and feel every inch of him, you were aware that this was all new to him. You were patient, or trying to be, and he made it rather easy to be- his reactions made it all worth the while.

His eyes shifted from your face to your chest momentarily when you started removing your bra, holding you in place, supporting your back so you wouldn’t fall back.

He sent a silent ‘thank you’ to the gods that you did it yourself, knowing fully well that if he had reached behind you to do so, you’d be left sitting there for five minutes while he fumbled about.

When the second piece of your clothing was gone, his starstruck expression never faltered. “I think you look even more gorgeous now,” he managed. Another tiny ‘thank you’ left your lips at his compliment, enjoying every second his beautiful eyes were glued to you. Your eyes were on his face, taking in every feature up close. It was so odd how when you looked at Steven, you didn’t see Marc, despite them sharing a body- Steven’s features seemed softer. He was just so different overall. 

He didn’t know where he wanted to start, where he wanted to touch you first. All he knew was that he wanted you badly, but he also wanted to take his time. He definitely wasn’t about to rush this, not a chance in hell.

Steven leaned up, his lips making contact at the point of where your jaw met your neck. He started by kissing the spot gently, but as he made his way down your collarbone, he nipped lightly at your skin. At first he felt a bit bad for making that decision, but he didn’t hear you protest; he heard quite the opposite, and he kept going, all the way down to your chest.

As his teeth came in contact with the soft flesh of your breast, he kissed the spot as a quick apology, before moving further down. He caught your nipple between his teeth, sucking on the spot lightly before moving to the other and repeating the action. This had one of your hands flying up to his hair, tugging on the curls as a wave of pleasure ran from your head to your toes. For someone who was inexperienced, he was figuring out fast how to use his mouth to make you feel good.

He realised he wasn’t able to keep going down your body because of your current position, so he stopped for a moment. He got a hold of you and moved himself up the bed a bit before making a quick move to flip you over, laying you gently on your back. You let out a sound of surprise at this.

He was over you now, the sight of you under him was just as pleasant as you on top. He used his arms to hold his weight off you, taking in the way you looked before he leaned down and resumed kissing down your body. As he did this, your head was thrown back. One of your hands was on the bed next to you while the other came up to your chest. You massage your breast gently under your palm, trying to keep your breath steady.  He stopped when he reached the top of your jeans, finally gazing back up at you through his lashes. There was no doubt that him looking up at you through his lashes was the sexiest thing you’d ever had the pleasure of seeing, the sight alone pulling a quiet moan from your throat. 

He worked the button with one hand and once he got it he sat up, pulling them off you.

He discarded them, his hands finding themselves on your legs, tracing circles on them for a moment while he looked at you. His mind was still managing to run one hundred thoughts per second, although they focused on you and what he wanted to do to you.

Once you were out of your jeans, you didn’t like the contrast of how naked you were compared to him, so you sat yourself up. You shuffled around to get onto your knees, bringing Steven up with you so you were both kneeling in front of each other. 

“Too many clothes…” you said, big eyes looking at him for a moment before they shut, leaning in to break the space between you into a kiss.

Your hands ran down his chest, one stopping at the waistband of his pants while the other kept going lower. You did this slowly, reading his body language to understand if this was okay. Your fingers brushed over the large bulge that had grown in his pants, but just a quick tease, a gentle massage, before both hands were curling into his waistband and dragging his pants down his thighs. You allowed him to kick them away and then your hand was back to where it had been, letting out a moan at the feeling of him in your palm.

“Please, Steven,” you pulled your lips from his but remained close enough that you could feel his lips brush yours as you spoke. “I need you to do something,” your hand moved along his cock as you spoke, slow strokes, the reactions coming from him telling you to keep touching him. “Anything.. I just need you.”

Steven could feel his cock twitch from the pleasure your touch induced. “Oh, god…” he breathed as he reached a hand to the back of your head, grabbing your hair as he kissed you once more before pushing you back down on the bed. He leaned over you, hands caressing down your body as he moved back. Those thoughts from earlier came back, the ones of how much he wanted to please you, make you feel as blissful as he did. Your head was so clouded with lust and need that you’d barely registered that he’d pushed you back onto the bed until his hands were roaming over your body.

He moved himself down, grabbing onto your legs and pushing them apart as he positioned himself in between them. You held your legs open for him despite how much you wanted to squeeze them shut for a little bit of friction. He tried to steady his breathing as he looked up at you, kissing along the inside of your leg, slowly moving towards the spot you needed his mouth the most. It was becoming more obvious to him that you needed him, aside from you literally telling him, making the teasing aspect more fun for him. A little ‘please’ stuck itself in your throat, unable to get it out.

You’d grown embarrassingly wet from just the slow kisses and slight touches, your cunt begging to be touched, filled, fucked. Your hand found its way back into his hair, holding onto the curls.

He placed a kiss to the top of your clit, eyes locked on you as he did, watching for your reaction. You knew he could tell how soaked you were just from that little kiss to your clit, but that simple move gave you enough pleasure to wash away the feeling of embarrassment at how turned on you had become.

“Steven..” his name came out a mix of a moan and a sigh, fingers tightening in his hair. You found yourself opening your legs some more, an open invitation for the man to do as he pleased to you.

His lips rested over you, brushing lightly as he looked up at you. A little moan got caught in his throat at your reaction. Seeing you like this was the best thing in the world to him, and it turned him on more. It was taking him a lot of self control to be patient. 

He took notice of how you moved, and he hooked one arm under your leg so he was in a better position to hold your waist down. Then he dipped his head, licking a stripe up between your folds. It was hard for you to believe this man was inexperienced- the more confident he became, the more he played and searched for all the right ways to touch you. You were more than willing to let him explore, let him learn.

Your eyes fluttered a little, threatening to shut, but you kept them on Steven, free hand not so free anymore as it went back to his. You took one of his hands and moved it up to your breast, giving it a little squeeze.

“Touch me- need you everywhere, Steven.” 

Your voice was so quiet, you sounded so fragile in contrast to when you were fighting alongside Steven and Marc. You were like putty under this man.

His eyes met yours as you spoke again, your voice alone nearly taking him out. His hand flexed on your breast as he replied with, “Just show me where…” 

And then he tilted his head back down, kissing the top of your cunt again, easing his way back into the motions. He let out a quiet groan upon tasting you again. The hand on your breast worked a bit, finger moving to grab and twirl at your nipple before making its way back down your body, nails leaving a mark on your skin as they passed. 

You had nodded your head at his words, unable to get a sentence out in reply. Each move he made had you trying to raise your hips against his arm in a weak attempt to go after his mouth. You let out a broken whimper. 

His hand found its way back down, and he paused, pulling his mouth away from you. His fingers grazed between your folds and he was keen on making eye contact as he slipped them inside. Your mouth fell into an ‘o’ shape, followed by a gasp when his fingers found their way inside you. 

He set a slow pace, working your cunt with his fingers. Your heat around his fingers made him spiral; if it felt so good now, he could only imagine what you’d feel like on his cock. And fuck the waiting was so cruel, but he was determined to please you first.

He bent his head down again, curling his fingers to hit you in the right spot as his tongue got back to work. You arched your back a little off the bed, finally allowing her eyes to shut as he worked you open, each thrust sending waves of pleasure through your body, chills across your skin. His hand was digging into your pelvic bone in an attempt to keep your hips still. He was afraid that if you moved, he’d lose the sweet spot he’d found inside you and he didn’t want to drag it out any longer.

You didn’t know what to do with your hands. You let go of his hair and both hands gripped tightly onto the bed covers, but you quickly regretted the move and one hand was back in his hair. Your grip was tighter than before, holding on like you’d fall if you didn’t and the other hand went to the arm that held you down. It didn’t feel right unless you were touching the man that was making you feel this good, treating you this well. 

“Steven- fuck, you’re doing so good,” you praised him when you were finally able to get words out. Your toes curled into the bed, each hit to the soft spot inside of you making you grow closer to the edge embarrassingly fast. His cock twitched at your praise. He was over the moon, knowing that he was doing good even though he severely lacked experience. The praise made him feel good, and he was desperate to keep it up.

“Faster, please, I won’t break…”

Steven immediately obeyed. His hand picked up his pace, coupled with harder thrusts. He wanted to bring you to the top, wanted to watch as he brought you to your peak. And as soon as he sped up, you were a goner.

His mouth stopped moving, but his lips still brushed against you as he tilted his head up to watch. Fuck, you were an addiction to him, the sounds coming from you only fuelling it further and he couldn’t get enough. Despite missing his mouth the second that it stopped, you were too drunk on the orgasm that was growing closer and closer to protest. When you were able to force your eyes open to look down at him, a moan escaped your lips at the sight of his eyes looking up at you with a contradictory mix of adoration and lust. His emotions pooled in his eyes and you would happily drown yourself in them again and again. 

Your cries of pleasure rang out as you hit your climax, a mischievous grin forming on his face as he rode you through it, his grip on your waist loosening so you could move. When the high hit you, it hit you hard, you could feel every bit of it like a wave running from your head to your toes, a string of moans filling the air around you. A collection of curse words and Steven’s name were thrown into the mix. Your thighs shook uncontrollably like they’d gained a mind of their own and you were so glad that he thought to let go so you could move freely.

Steven eased his fingers out of you, giving you a moment to recover, earning a sound of disapproval from your gaping mouth. Only his fingers had been in you and already you felt so empty with them gone- you almost feared the aftermath of getting fucked by him. He sat back on his knees, looking down at you in adoration while he rubbed your legs softly. He would never get over how amazing you looked right now, or how good he felt while pleasing you. He thought about his next move, going over it in his mind a couple times.

Then once the moment passed and he felt like you were ready, he grabbed your hips and pulled you down towards him, one arm hooking back under your leg and pushing it towards your body. He looked over at you a bit, using his other hand to line the head of his cock with your entrance. 

You had no time to speak, but you didn’t mind because your mind was running so fast yet you hadn’t a clue what to say. So, you were glad when you pulled you down, though it had taken you by surprise. How could you still be surprised after what he’d just done to your body?

When Steven leaned over you, you brought a hand up, cupping the back of his neck in your palm and bringing his head down so your lips brushed together. You could taste yourself on his mouth and the lewdness of it all almost had your eyes rolling to the back of your skull. But Steven let out a small whimper when your lips only brushed his instead of connecting them.

“I’m all yours, Steven,” you said, but your voice broke, the moans bordering on screams having weakened your throat. Your other hand was now on the back of his head and you used that to bring him the rest of the way down to seal your lips into a kiss. It was nothing short of passion, need, your mouth moving desperately against his. However, you found it hard to keep your lips moving as his cock began to push through your walls.

The head of his cock had been pressing against your entrance and he couldn’t wait any longer. He started slow as he slid into you and you were so wet that fuck there wasn’t any resistance. 

The way he stretched your cunt had you breaking the kiss to throw your head back onto the bed, his name rolling off your tongue like it was the only word you knew in the English language. Steven was groaning, your heat wrapped around him sending him into a haze.

The stretch caused a hint of pain to your body, his girth almost enough to rip you into two, but it was nothing compared to the pleasure that had your toes curling into the bed. Your fingers dug into the back of his neck harder the further he slid into you. 

Steven’s hand grazed along your torso, coming up to your chest. He massaged your breast as he bottomed out, head falling to the space between your neck and shoulder. His head was spinning from the pleasure that he’s waited so long for.

The wait was worth every second. 

Feather-light kisses were placed on your neck as he slowly pulled back out of you, only to rut into you harder the second time, not giving you the chance to get used to him. The kisses to your skin were so gentle and you leaned into them, but the air was suddenly knocked out of you when he pushed right back in without mercy. You let out a gasp, back creating a curve as it lifted off the bed. Your eyes shut tightly. Your body hadn’t felt a pleasure so intense in a while and it was almost too much, but you didn’t want him to stop. You would happily take whatever he gave you. 

“Ah, fuck-” he whispered against the shell of your ear, the pleasure he gained from that being overwhelming. Every little sound from Steven, every whimper, moan, groan, they made you feel like you were floating on a cloud.

His head lifted and the hand on your breast moved to cup your chin, tilting your head back down, making you look at him. His thumb trailed across your bottom lip, eyes studying your face. He saw nothing but pleasure on it, this alone earning a smile from him. He set a steady pace, thrusts on the rougher side the longer they progressed. You were almost positive that the Steven you knew was tucked away into a corner. There was a confidence in him that you didn’t recognise, but at the same time there was a feeling, one you couldn’t explain, that this was in fact still Steven. Your eyes locked with his, despite how much they wanted to shut, your mouth opened as a string of moans ripped from your throat. 

He dipped his head down, capturing you in another kiss, groaning against your lips as he did so. Then in a second he broke the kiss, hips stuttering as he sat up on his knees. You whined at how fast he pulled your lips apart from his, but then he swapped positions and you were blown away- you had no idea that he could look any hotter until that second; sweaty hair, a dark look in his eyes… on his knees, for you. 

He ran one hand through his sweat-slicked curls, moving them out of his face before using both to grab onto your hips. He looked down at you with nothing but lust and need as he moved you in time with his thrusts, finding a new angle to hit that soft spot inside of you again. He wanted to watch you unravel around him for a second time, evident by the way he fucked into you at a rough pace. 

You were sure everyone in this building, and the next, maybe even the next, could hear the sounds you were both creating, matching each other in a beautiful song. Your hands were gripping his shoulders, one staying put while the other occasionally ran up and down his arm, nails scratching at the skin hard enough to create a mark and leave a trail of blood behind. You were loving every second of this, every second of Steven’s cock exploring your cunt like this. He had cast his head back, revelling in the feeling of your nails dragging along his skin, the sparks of pain through his body quickly transforming into those of pleasure.

“Oh, god- fuck,” his voice was barely audible as he fell back over you, his hand leaving your hip so he could catch himself. He let out a sigh, hovering over you, eyes exploring your body while he continued his assault on your cunt. He would never get over the sight of you like this; a complete mess underneath him, crying out his name as he fucks you.

Your hand continued down his arm until it reached his arm, moving it from your hip to place it between you both. Your eyes were pleading, desperate, missing the feeling of his soft fingers toying with your clit.

“I’m so close-” a moan cut you off, but you managed to keep spitting your words out. “So close, Steven, please..” 

He listened to you, even though his mind was cloudy from how good you were making him feel. He let your hand guide his hand between you and immediately did what he was asked. His fingers grazed over your clit teasingly at first, but he could feel his own orgasm rising and he wasn’t about to release before you could.

So he worked your clit with his fingers, giving you the extra push you needed in order to reach the edge. It didn’t take much longer for you to reach your second climax. Steven could feel it, your cunt clamping around his cock as you released, causing his hips to stutter once more. His hand left your clit, trailing up your body in a comforting motion as he rode you through your orgasm. 

Your thighs were uncontrollable as he rode you through this, and as sensitive as you felt, you were loving the way he began to come undone on top of you. Your body convulsed for a moment before you came to a stop, though your chest was rising and falling heavily. 

Then his hand fell next to your head, bracing himself as he reached his own peak, not wanting to fall on top of you. His hips quit moving as he came, a filthy groan escaping his throat, eyes shutting for a split second. You moaned with him, arms coming up to wrap around his neck as you felt him filling you up. You took it all in, not a hint of disapproval as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. There was no greater moment than that of him pushing inside of you one last time, as deep as he possibly could, filling you up more than you thought was possible.

His body was spent and overwhelmed with ecstasy, evident by his slightly shaky arms as he held himself up. He looked down where your hips met, slowly pulling himself out of you. He missed the feeling of being inside you the second he did so; it felt like a part of him was missing now. His eyes ran back up along your body, his own moving in time with his heavy breathing. He cracked a smile, using one hand to move the hair out of your face. He pushed it behind your ear and leaned down to place a much needed gentle kiss to your lips.

Your arms around his neck pulled him in as you shared a kiss so gentle that it seemed unreal that he had just fucked you with a roughness you didn’t know he possessed. But you relaxed into the kiss, only now realising how tense your body was from the two orgasms. 

Your breathing mixed with his for a moment before he finally found the will to get off you, moving to lay by your side. 

He fumbled for the light covers, but once he found them he pulled them up over your bodies. You turned your body to face him, eyes running over his face, just admitting his beauty for a moment. Then, your hand came up to his face, cupping his cheek softly as your thumb slowly stroked his cheek. His arm fell into place over your waist while he rested his head on his other hand. He was still smiling at you, having no reason to let it falter. He leaned his head into yours a bit before turning his face to kiss your palm lightly. What you two just did had him feeling amazing and judging by your reaction, he knew you felt the same. He took a bit of pride in that- he loved that he was able to make you feel as he did.

“That was… You are incredible.” There was a small giggle to your voice but it didn’t outweigh the honesty and love that was in your tone.

His hand on your waist moved and started trailing slowly up and down your body. “God, no- no, you are incredible,” he repeated, more emphasis on the word ‘you’. He leaned down towards you and placed a kiss on your forehead. You leaned your head into the kiss, sighing softly at the touch. Your eyes ran along his face, manoeuvring over his eyes, the curve of his nose, the redness of his lips. There was no place you’d rather be at the moment than with him.

“You should rest,” he whispered as he leaned back. 

You nodded your head a little at his words, scooting closer to him and closing your eyes. He radiated warmth and comfort, more so once he wrapped his arm around you. He shifted around until you were both in a comfortable position; his arm under your neck allowing you to be closer while the other draped lazily across your torso again.

Both of your breathing had relaxed remarkably. You placed your hand on his chest, smiling even though he probably couldn’t see it, before deciding to replace your hand with your head. Your smile only widened now that you could hear the soft beating of his heart as opposed to just feeling it. 

You both ended up drifting into a comfortable sleep like that; completely wrapped up in each other, not a single negative thought or energy from either of you, just the synchronisation of the gentle rise and fall of your chests.

[westiec]

June 27: Nie Mingjue, ace king

asexual Nie Mingjue, queer Lan Xichen, what even is flirting, rated T

Read on ao3

Contrary to popular (Huaisang's) belief, Nie Mingjue can in fact tell when people are flirting with him.

It's just, well, easier to pretend he doesn't. Nie Mingjue's a big, buff guy, so when he's friendly and affable and cheerfully misinterprets any flirting, then women tend to assume he's gay, and men tend to assume he's straight, and neither is quite right, but either way, he's planted himself solidly in the bro zone once more without any awkward conversations or needing to turn anyone down directly.

Which is why he can't quite figure out Lan Xichen’s deal. He was fairly sure the man was flirting with him when they first met at the gym. (Lan Xichen’s traps and lats, Nie Mingjue will readily admit, are downright enviable. He doesn't need to be interested anyone that way to recognize that.)

Nie Mingjue had expected him to go the way of so many other gym flirtations after a few rounds of his patented cheerfully oblivious act, but Lan Xichen had instead just backed way off the obvious flirting while continuing to extend cheerful overtures, offer to spot his lifts (and then actually do it), and greet him with that same dazzling smile every time they're at the gym at the same time.

"You're sure he's not just flirting more subtly?" Huaisang asks, when Nie Mingjue comes home from the gym once more buzzing with the weird energy working out with Lan Xichen always leaves him. "Some guys like the challenge of pulling a 'straight dude,' you know."

Nie Mingjue shakes his head. He's run into those kind of guys occasionally, and they do get the awkward conversation—and the smile with all the teeth he learned from his one and only ex. (They're still friends. Meng Yao had been great, back when Nie Mingjue was coming to the realization that, no, actually, he wasn't interested in sex with men either.)

"He's not flirting at all anymore," he says. "And you know I can tell. He's just so... intensely friendly."

Huaisang laughs at that, not unkindly. "Well, Da-ge, he just might want to be friends, then. Real friends, not just gym buddies."

Huh. Nie Mingjue had always vaguely wondered how people made friends as adults. Maybe that's it after all.

So the next time they're both at the gym, after they've finished their workouts and chatted through their cooldown stretches and are grabbing their post-grind smoothies—and okay maybe they've developed something of a routine while Nie Mingjue wasn't looking—Nie Mingjue asks, "You hike, right?"

"Sometimes," Lan Xichen replies, like it's not a total non-sequitur to the conversation they've been having about protein supplements. "I haven't been in awhile, but I do enjoy it. You?"

"There's a day hike I've been wanting to do, if you're interested. Huaisang sometimes goes with me, but he declared this one, 'too few birds, too much elevation,' and I was thinking it'd be fun for us to hang out together somewhere besides the gym."

"Somewhere that doesn't smell like sweaty feet, you mean?" Lan Xichen laughs. "I'd like that a lot," he says with one of those wide, warm smiles.

They trade numbers and pick a day and text a great deal over the next couple weeks, and that's how Nie Mingjue finds himself here, taking a hydration break at a scenic overlook halfway back down a mountain with Lan Xichen. It's been honestly perfect. The hike was everything he'd hoped for—great views and a decent athletic challenge—and the company is excellent. He and Lan Xichen match pace easily, chatting about little brothers, cooking mishaps, and a surprise shared love of movie musicals during the less strenuous portions of the climb. He's more relaxed than he can remember being in a long time, right up until Lan Xichen says, "Mingjue, can I ask you something? No wrong answer."

Hell.

He nods for Lan Xichen to go ahead and hopes he's not about to ask what he thinks he's about to ask.

"Am I reading you wrong, or did you mean for this to be a date?" And there it is. "If you did, it's been a great one, it's only... I didn't think you went in for that sort of thing."

He—what?

"What?"

Lan Xichen grins playfully. "Mingjue, I don't know if you've noticed, but you get hit on at the gym, like, a lot." Nie Mingjue raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him, and he laughs. "Yeah, I figured. Anyway, you always turn them down—guys, ladies, whoever—but you've also never mentioned a significant other or anything like that, so I figured you just didn't date. But then it also sometimes feels like you're flirting with me? So, I just wanted to check in. I really enjoy hanging out with you, either way."

That's... okay, that's a lot. Nie Mingjue mentally reviews his interactions with Lan Xichen, today and over the last few months at the gym, and realizes he has been flirting with him. It's apparently easier to recognize in the other direction. "I'm sorry!" he blurts.

"It's not unwelcome," Lan Xichen says, still smiling.

"No, I mean—" Ugh, Awkward Conversation time. "I'm ace. Like, the 'not interested in any kind of sex, with anyone, ever' kind."

"Oh," says Lan Xichen, "cool. Thank you for sharing that with me, Mingjue."

Nie Mingjue shrugs and gestures back towards the path. Lan Xichen falls into step beside him. 'Cool, thanks,' is not the worst reaction he's gotten, Nie Mingjue supposes.

"So not flirting then," Lan Xichen says after awhile with a chuckle. "I can't always tell. Sorry for putting you on the spot."

"No, it's... I was flirting, I think," Nie Mingjue admits. Lan Xichen’s been so honest with him, and he wants to respond in kind. "But I'll cut it out."

Lan Xichen's ears flush red. "I mean, you don't have to," he says. "I like being gym buddies. I've liked texting with you lately. I've really, really liked today. If you wanted to do more of all that, with or without flirting, I'd like that too."

"You'd want to date me," Nie Mingjue clarifies, "even though I just told you I'm not ever gonna want to have sex with you?"

Lan Xichen's lips twitch into one of his sarcastic smiles. "Gosh, Mingjue, everything's not about sex, you know."

Nie Mingjue throws his head back and laughs. "Fine then," he says, "it's a date."

🖤🤍💜

Shoutout to @shadaras for suggesting hiking when I got stuck on a good schroedinger's date activity!

#PrideMonthSnippets Masterpost!

[detectivehannibal]

Pretty as a Picture

__

Hannibal Lecter x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Implications of smut.

A/N: Why do I keep disappearing from this blog?? I’ve had this idea for FOREVER. Fun fact about me, I sometimes recycle my works from other blogs. So if you’re curious, this is from my Harry Potter blog @seriouslysnape and here’s the original work.

Word Count: 1,738

“It’s not much...just a little something for your birthday.”

__

On the surface, surprises don’t really seem to come to mind when you think about Hannibal Lecter. The esteemed psychiatrist always came off to you as an open book. He was usually willing to share all aspects of his life with you, which naturally left you believing that there weren’t any secrets lurking further within himself. 

Oh, how wrong you were.

Despite all the things that you didn’t know about Hannibal, you knew him well enough to know the sorts of things that he has a fancy for and the things he doesn’t. As high maintenance and temperamental as he is, he is shockingly easy to please. It’s a bit of an ironic statement, but still the truth nonetheless. 

You could gift Hannibal with something as simple as a pair of socks or with something as extravagant as a brand new luxury suit, and he’d always have the same genuine, appreciative reaction. If something came from you, he would surely love it with his whole heart. 

This gift, however, was on a whole new level.

The idea had honestly come to you at random when you were brainstorming birthday present possibilities. Even though he would never admit it, he was a bit bored of you buying him a new tie for every occasion. He had a tie for every color, pattern, and even he could ever dream of. You wanted to think outside of the box this time. You wanted to come up with something that he would never ever think of. 

On the flip side, you also wanted to be sure that it was something that he could have for a long time and something that would have some real meaning to him. You could always go down the culinary appliance route, but he already had absolutely everything he’d ever possibly want or need. You were in a bit of a rut, but that’s when you got a wonderful thought.

Hannibal didn’t own many personal pictures. Most of the photos in his house were custom made art pieces that were worth more than the price of your left leg alone. Hannibal never struck you as the kind of man to have plethoras of pictures of loved ones, but you still found it odd. It’d be a win-win in your eyes. You’d supply Hannibal with some photos to hold on to, and it’d be a thoughtful gift.

Then your plan took a sultry turn.

You had picked out a large photo album that would match the aesthetic of his house, and an album that would have plenty of pages to fill up. You kept it stashed away in your closet until you were ready to put pictures inside of it when another idea came to mind. 

What if you made a sexy photo album for him?

At first, you were a little sheepish at the idea. Boudoir style pictures showing off only the dirtiest of contents? It seemed like that might be too much and even a bit weird. The longer you thought about it, though, the more and more the idea sounded good. Maybe Hannibal wouldn’t necessarily jump at the gift, but at least he’d have something to jerk off to when you weren’t around.

You assembled as many outfits as you could, some coming from your personal collection and some were purchased as a specialty to the production of the photos. You’d need some help actually having the photos taken, which is why you recruited one of your closest friends.

You could’ve had them professionally done, but you weren’t sure how comfortable you were with a photographer and group of modeling experts studying over your naked body for an entire day. Your friend was stoked for the project and dedicated a whole afternoon while Hannibal was at work to help you out. 

You took probably about a hundred pictures, all with varying poses, outfits, and locations around the house. You even took a few more innocent photos of you just smiling or doing candid things. You figured that you needed some sweet to balance out the spicy. 

You decorated the pages to add some pop and flare, ultimately thrilled with the final product. Hannibal’s birthday was only a few days away, and you were itching to show him what you had made for him. 

“You’re fidgety tonight.” Hannibal spoke from where he was laid out underneath you on the living room sofa. 

It was true, you had been extremely jittery for the last hour and a half, trying to compose yourself. Hannibal had told you that he had wanted nothing more than to have a quiet evening in for his birthday, which you found as a blessing because he’d definitely want to stay around the house after seeing his gift.

“Sorry. Just excited.” You admitted, seeing this as the perfect opportunity.

He raised a brow, looking down at your frame that was practically trembling with explosive animation. 

“I feel as if I don’t need to inform you that my birthday comes around every year,” He joked; “What’s gotten you so elated?”

You smiled up at him with a brightness that was almost blinding. You scrambled off of the sofa at your cue.

“Wait right here. I’ll be back.” You announced as you dashed up the stairs.

Hannibal chuckled to himself, already guessing as to what you were plotting. You returned shortly after with the picture book in hand, complete with a bow on top. You sat with your legs crossed in front of him, eagerly handing it to him.

“It’s not much...just a little something for your birthday.” You explained.

Hannibal sat up from where he was settled into the cushions, eyeing over the cover carefully. It was a beautifully crafted book, the dark leather was absolutely gorgeous. He pushed the bow off of the sides, opening to the very first page to see a sweet note you had written him, signed with your signature and all. He turned to the first page to actually contain photos on it, and a smile of pure joy spread on his face.

You had put all of the non-sexual pictures in the first two pages to disguise the actual reason for the book. You were smiling happily in each of the first several photos, wearing different casual outfits and in different places. 

“Darling, these are wonderful,” He complimented; “They’re stunning, they-”

His heartbeat quickened when he made it to the third page, and he noticed they had taken on a new theme. The scandalous photos were enough to knock him speechless. For the first time ever, you saw Hannibal’s cheeks break out into a deep blush. His fingertips trailed over one in particular where you were wearing one of his white work shirts with all the buttons undone. The only thing you were wearing underneath was one of his ties settled between your breasts. 

In other photos, you were wearing different sets of lingerie. There was one lacy, red colored set that almost made him faint right then and there.

He was knocked speechless, unable to string together a single sentence. You were beginning to feel a little self conscious, and you went back to your original worry that this was a bad idea. You had honestly expected him to completely attack you with feverish kisses or fuck you right then and there. The fact that he was completely silent was unsettling, because Hannibal Lecter always had something to say. 

Your voice was thick with uncertainty as you spoke to break the silence.

“Hannibal, do you...like them?” You wondered aloud.

His eyes never steered clear from the book in his hands and the photos presented in front of him. He turned to the next page, a rush of arousal flushing over him at one in particular where you were completely naked, stretched out on the massive kitchen counter and giving a look so seductive that it made his belly flutter. The sight of you naked in his culinary world where he spent so much time was a sight to behold.

“[Y/N], I love them. These photographs...they’re beautiful, well produced, and so, so sexy.” He breathed out.

You exhaled a breath of relief, feeling a sense of anticipation as he continued to rake over them. He turned to a new set of pictures, his hot blush growing even deeper onto his cheeks. He couldn’t look away from the scandalous photos, each one becoming dirtier than the last. He was riled up and he was already looking forward to having this book at his disposal.

His lips parted slightly ajar as he loomed over them. Your waiting was patient as he finished looking through them, his pupils dilating more and more by the minute. He closed the book once he was finished, his eyes finally flickering up to you. He had grown a very prevalent erection, and his eyes were filled with an intense amount of lust. Your suspicions had been correct after all. 

He was going to rock your world.

Hannibal usually didn’t try to make the first move. He always wanted you to initiate sex first. He believed that sex was a passionate, romantic connection that shouldn’t always be fueled by burning want and desire from outside resources. Based on the way he was looking at you though, you could tell that he wanted you BADLY. 

He nonchalantly rolled his hips forward to create some kind of friction. The sneaky grin on your face was almost maddening. The way that your body leaned in and your lips brushed over his just ever so was intoxicating. Your lips traveled to his ear as you purposefully let out a wanton moan to tantalize him. 

“Touch me, Hanni. I know you want to.” You coaxed.

That was all he needed. 

Hannibal lunged forward, smothering your body with his and suffocating you with hot kisses. He kept your hands pinned above your head, leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck as he intentionally drew the most wonderful sounds out of you. 

“What are the chances of you wearing one of those outfits under this sweater?” He said in a steamy voice.

You squirmed against his hands, but to no avail. When Hannibal didn’t want you to go anywhere, then you wouldn’t. You bit down on your lip in a seductive way, breathing out your response to send him into full on love making mode.

“Why don’t you find out?”

[shepherds-of-haven]

Due to complicated reasons, all of the ROs have to share a bed with one other RO. Who pairs up? Which pairs actually get to sleep, which pairs stay up chatting, and which pairs kill eachother by midnight?

Ooooh, this is a great question!!!

Blade:

Best matchups - Blade + Trouble, Blade + Briony, Blade + Tallys

Blade and Trouble have had to bunk in the same room plenty of times on past missions, even before they created the Shepherds. They have reluctantly tried sharing the same bed before, but it always ends in a fight because Trouble thrashes in his sleep and/or kicks Blade and the blankets off the bed, leading to arguing and sometimes physical brawls. As such, they now have a system where they play rock-paper-scissors to determine who gets the bed and who gets the floor. If Blade has been in a good mood he sometimes deliberately lets Trouble win so he can be kind without letting anyone know he possesses the capacity for kindness. If Trouble has been a pain in the ass sometimes he makes them play for the only blanket (and wins) out of spite. But they've done it enough times that there's less conflict than there would be with other people!

Briony's utter lack of embarrassment and cheerful ability to not bat an eye at certain situations would put Blade enough at ease that they could share a room in relative peace. It's EXTREMELY unlikely that they would sleep in the same bed--he would sleep on the floor for propriety's sake--unless Briony forcefully manhandled him, but she wouldn't do that for the sake of his own comfort. The only thing would be that Briony would keep Blade up by popping her head over the edge of the bed and inquiring after his comfort and asking if he's asleep, so they would end up chatting a bit too much while Blade's like "please go to sleep now". The first few times they'd probably end up talking far into the night, but if it was a regular thing, eventually they would just sort of fall into a rhythm where they just went straight to sleep!

Blade and Tallys would remain very professional and would hardly speak to each other at all. He'd take the floor without asking, she'd take the bed without arguing, and then they would just go to sleep in silence. All very peaceful and matter-of-fact!

Worst matchups - Blade + Red

This would just be really, really awkward.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Trouble:

Best matchups - Trouble + Blade, Trouble + Red, Trouble + Chase

Trouble gets along with pretty much any other guy enough that it wouldn't be super explosive to share a room for the night. He'd probably complain about Red being so tall and he'd probably stay up all night either out on the town or cooking up pranks with Chase, but otherwise it's fairly smooth sailing!

Worst matchups - Trouble + Ayla, Trouble + Lavinet, Trouble + Riel

Just a recipe for disaster. Trouble and Ayla fight like cats and dogs and a night together would probably earn a split lip for one or both of them. Lavinet would just get annoyed by Trouble being all up in her space, and vice-versa. Trouble's careless messiness would drive Riel crazy, and Riel's cool assumption that he would be taking the bed (among other things) would make Trouble call him a snob.

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Tallys:

Best matchups - Tallys + Blade, Tallys + Lavinet (if friends), Tallys + Shery, Tallys + Halek

If Tallys and Lavinet have gotten over their differences and are friends, they'd get along well in a sharing the bed scenario. If not, this is actually the worst-case scenario. Tallys and Shery would also have no problem: Shery would be a bit shy about it at first, but they're good enough friends and trust each other enough that it'd be very peaceful! They wouldn't stay up talking, but they'd be mostly comfortable and calm! Tallys and Halek would also be very chill!

Worst matchups - Tallys + Lavinet (if enemies), Tallys + Chase

Aside from Lavinet, Tallys gets along fairly well (or well enough) or is professional towards pretty much everyone in the Shepherds, so spending the night in the same hotel room or whichever it is would go pretty smoothly in almost all scenarios. The only weird atmosphere would be with Chase. They're sort of wary of each other and don't interact much, and each would be like, 'hm is he/she going to make a pass at me tonight or what, or like what's going on'?? Chase's cracking of jokes wouldn't crack Tallys' immovable exterior, so it would just be stilted and awkward. Not hostile, they're just not used to being alone in the same room together!

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Shery:

Best matchups - Shery + Tallys, Shery + Lavinet, Shery + Briony

Shery would be pretty much fine being paired up with any of the girls. It'd be like a sleepover! She and Briony could giggle into their pillows and gossip and make tea; she and Lavinet could trade beauty tips or braid each other's hair. She'd be a bit shy at sharing the same bed at first, but any of the others would be so casual about it that she'd just get over the awkwardness and just do it! She might even have a fun time!

Worst matchups - Shery + Blade, Shery + Chase, Shery + Trouble

They're not going to fight, or anything, but none of these boys knows how to deal with Shery's flustered nature or make her feel at ease... Blade's silences would make her fret and overthink every little thing, Trouble's cluelessness and bluntness does not mix well with Shery's sensitive feelings, and Chase just flat-out does not know how to deal with someone so shy. She'd probably sleep in the bathtub and the boys would feel weird about it but wouldn't know how to force her to not... do that and they would all feel guilty and it would be weird!!

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Riel:

Riel is not built to share a room--let alone a bed--with anybody. He like can BARELY manage it with a romantic partner at first. In what scenario would he have to share a room when he could just rent a second one for himself, hmm?? If it's for a mission, he'll do it, but he will not sleep and will literally stay up all night confined to a desk rather than sharing the SHOCKING intimacy of actually sleeping in the same bed--on the same sheets! where they leave hairs!!--as one of his coworkers!!

Tolerable: Riel + Red, Riel + Tallys, Riel + Shery, Riel + Blade, Riel + Halek

Those five know to keep quiet and respect Riel's space. He can manage, but they'll have to be comfortable with the sounds of him up all night, scribbling away at the desk!

Absolutely not: Riel + Trouble, Riel + Ayla, Riel + Briony, Riel + Chase

Trouble = too volatile and messy. Ayla = 2x Trouble. Briony = too talkative, she'll drive him up the wall. Chase = lol just stick some dynamite in a room with a lit candle and see what happens

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Chase:

Best matchups: Chase + Trouble, Chase + Red, Chase + Briony

He gets along with them, they're pals! They could even be talked into ditching the room and just going out and having a fun time because they're extremely influenceable or corruptible. Compatible match either way, they have a fun time or just stay up chatting the night away! There may even be platonic sleep cuddles! However, Briony's a double-edged sword, because if it gets to a point where she wants to have a deeper conversation with Chase about his past or whatever and he does his whole "deflect it with a casual joke" thing, after long enough her feelings will get hurt and she'll start to cry, and it all goes downhill from there...

Worst matchups: Chase + Riel, Chase + Lavinet, Chase + Tallys

We've already covered Tallys and Riel with Chase above, but Lavinet and him would not be good "bed-partners" because she's been taught all her life not to let a scoundrel and a rake like him into her bed, she's heard the stories, she knows what happens!!! Keep away from her you slut!! So he'd definitely be banished to the floor or even the bathtub, lol.

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Red:

Best matchups: pretty much anybody

He gets along with pretty much anybody (except Blade). He can adapt to pretty much anyone's quirks and habits with infinite patience and doesn't ask for much: he can sleep on the bed or on the floor, whatever you want! He's very accommodating and not easily made nervous, so he's pretty much good to go on all fronts!

Worst matchup: Red + Blade

He can't sleep when the other person in the room is radiating H A T R E D

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Ayla:

Best matchups: Ayla + Lavinet, Ayla + Tallys, "Ayla + Trouble"

These pretty much speak for themselves; they're friends, so they get along fine and have no issue sharing a bed with each other. Ayla and Tallys, notably, have an unseemly awkward moment where Ayla is just like "hey so uh I'm flattered if you want sex, but I don't like you like that..." because she assumes that Tallys wanting to share a room with anyone means she also wants "that". It's AWKWARD but they get past it and laugh it off pretty fast. Ayla THINKS she'd be able to suffer through a night with Trouble because she views him as a brother and is very comfortable with him--enough that they could sprawl out snoring in the same bed and not have any weirdness about it--but she forgets how much they fight like siblings, too...

Worst matchups: Blade + Ayla, Riel + Ayla

Blade drives Ayla up the wall (you can see this in their most recent short story on Patreon) so this would probably not be a great night for either of them. Riel does NOT appreciate someone kicking his backpack aside even on accident, and Ayla does NOT appreciate being told to handle every little thing like glass and being bossed around, so this is a terrible combination and should be avoided at all costs!

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Briony:

Best matchups: pretty much anybody

Like Red, Briony gets along with everybody well enough that she could peacefully coexist with most of the other Shepherds and have a grand old time doing it! Some of them might get annoyed by her chattiness and rolling over suddenly and whispering, "Hey, what's this I hear about you going on a date with MC??", but she's having a grand old time!

Worst matchups: Riel + Briony, Tallys + Briony

There isn't hostility, but Riel makes his annoyance clear the third time Briony accidentally breaks or sits on one of his quills or slaps his back a little too hard, and Tallys radiates this energy that makes Briony desperate to prove she's cool. It's not like a horrible blowout fight, but it's just a bit of an awkward time!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lavinet:

Best matchups: Lavinet + Ayla, Lavinet + Briony, Lavinet + Shery

Although she only sees the male Shepherd ROs as friends, she's not totally comfortable sharing a room with them unless absolutely necessary. Therefore, she gets along with the female officers much better and can make anything work with them, including Tallys if she's a friend! Lavinet can be surprisingly tolerant and patient, especially if it's for work, so she's not going to be too dramatic or bossy unless someone is really violating her space, which none of the other women would do.

Worst matchups: Lavinet + Chase, Lavinet + Trouble

This has been pretty much been covered above!

[risjime]

THE FEELING OF HIM

with: college!suna; gn!reader

content: fluffy af, mildly suggestive (not rlly but mentions sex), best friends to lovers, fwb to lovers, mutual pining

wc: 1.3k

a/n: idk how this ended up being so long lmao whoops,, I do hope you enjoy it though!

it was your first year at college. you ran through the halls of what was now the fifth building you’d checked for your first class. finally spotting the three digit number you memorized from your schedule, you rushed through the doors, hoping you’d make it just in time.

you didn’t make it very far though. as you walked in, you were stopped short by the presence of a tall, dark haired boy already being scolded by your statistics professor, who made a comment about your tardiness on top of his. after enduring your professors wrath, you hastily sat down in one of the far back rows of the room, losing sight of the boy who walked in before you. a few minutes after you settled, you heard a low voice behind you, “hey. I didn’t catch your name.” turning back, you came face to face with the boy again, who was slightly leaning in as he waited for your response. you hesitantly responded, earning a nod and his casual introduction. “cool, you can call me rin.”

you and rin grew inseparably close after that day. your gatherings were initially limited to the classes and lunches you shared, but when second semester rolled around, you’d began going over to each other’s places, hanging out outside of school, and eventually talking everyday without fail. you found yourself growing more comfortable with rin than you’d ever felt around anyone. he quickly became your closest friend.

it was one of the nights rin was sleeping over at your place. your roommate went home for the weekend, and you’d thought it’d be fun for the two of you to have a movie night — something you’d grown accustomed to. not even fifteen minutes in and the two of you found yourselves in a deep conversation, the movie nothing more than comforting noise background to the words of your best friend. you’d gotten to the topic of relationships and in your cathartic state, you’d express how touch starved you’d felt for the past few months. you didn’t intend to admit it, but rin immediately pulled you in for a hug without any questions. it was platonic. it was meant to be platonic...

but you found yourself enjoying his closeness in a way that was different. he found himself enjoying the heat radiating off your skin, wanting to feel more of it. you pulled away, hoping to escape what you decided was to be a one-time thought. but rin looked into your eyes, drowning you in the feeling of him.

and as he began to pull you closer, his eyes trained on your lips, you stopped listening to the voice of reason screaming inside. you let him kiss you. and you kissed him back.

his soft kisses grew needier as his movements grew bolder. he kissed along the trace of your collarbone, working his way around your body, aching to explore every foreign piece of you. and with every okay you gave him, every time you looked into his eyes with the same hunger he possessed, he found himself falling deeper.

it was the next morning, and when you woke up to an unusual emptiness beside you, you remembered the past nights events. rin always woke up after you when he slept over. and if for some reason he didn’t, he’d scroll through his phone waiting for you to wake up.

your worries were put to rest when you saw him walk in with apology pancakes.

apology pancakes became a tradition after the first time you and rin got into an argument. you decided to make him pancakes, knowing they were one of his favourite meals, and apologize to him the morning after your fight. since then, every time something went wrong in your friendship, apology pancakes came in order. it was a signal of peace. a reminder of how much one meant to the other. any mistakes were always forgiven.

“it doesn’t have to be weird.” he said, sitting next to you on the bed. “please, we don’t have to make what happened weird.” you nodded in agreement. and decidedly, things went back to normal. but it didn’t last very long.

naturally, there was a party the next weekend. rin asked if you’d wanted to go, mentioning the host’s house had a pool. he came to your apartment to pick you up, as he usually did when the two of you hung out.

it was the same as any other weekend. so why couldn’t he keep his eyes off you as he walking in your room, watching you finish the touch ups of your look? his eyes graced the trace of your figure and he couldn’t help the quiet “wow” that slipped out of his mouth.

when you looked at him, you found yourself thinking back to the night you shared. the same heat was present in his gaze. he couldn’t help himself, and neither could you.

you didn’t end up going to the party.

it became conventional that when either of you needed a quick fix, you’d call the other. your arrangement was nothing more than an extension to your friendship. you’d discussed the possibility but concluded your desire for each other was simply for sexual purposes. there was no romantic aspect in your relationship. and it was true. you both believed it was true.

it wasn’t until you noticed the changes. a few months into your “fwb” ordeal, and things were still going smoothly. except, the kisses were sweeter. rin’s touch was softer. you found yourself wanting to give him a quick kiss at the most random of times. your last thought at night, as you drifted to sleep would always be him, whether he was next to you or not. despite his own actions, you told yourself it was one-sided. you needed to get over it.

but rin noticed it too. he found himself wanting to spend the entire day with you, in favour of his usual alone time. he caught himself thinking about the way your lips felt on his neck, and how it was his favourite feeling. when he was with you, his hands found themselves rushing to your hair, wanting to hold you closer to him, instead of their usual path to your thighs.

it was another movie night. you both sat comfortably on his living room couch, watching a comedy you’ve both seen one too many times. your head rested on his shoulder as you laughed softly at the tv. you felt him pull you closer, which usually meant one thing.

“I thought we were just chilling tonight?” you looked up to him, wondering if he changed his mind.

“can’t I just hold you?” he defended, with a little too much sincerity.

“yeah I guess..” you trailed off, not wanting to begin an argument. but after couple minutes, the bitter thoughts still plagued your mind.

“actually no. you can’t.”

he raised his brow in confusion, prodding you to explain.

“you can’t just hold me like that. because that’s not what we are. and we can’t be that-“

“why not?”

you looked up at him in shock. he knew why. your friendship was more important than the risk. why was he playing dumb?

“look.. I know we’ve been scared to explore whatever this is between us. but I can’t pretend that I don’t think about you every minute of the day. and when I see you, it’s like nothing else matters, because I get to spend the time with you, my favourite person. I know that we’re both scared a relationship will ruin our friendship, but our friendship hasn’t been the same ever since that first night. and I don’t regret a minute of it, because falling in love with you, has made every moment of doubt worth the idea of being loved by you.”

you felt every fear you developed over the past few months dissipate with his words. you eased yourself once again in the feeling of him, in a way that felt new, and trusting.

it was the day you admitted to yourself that it was okay to love your best friend, no matter how much you wanted to tell yourself otherwise. it was the day you allowed yourself to be loved by rin.

© risjime | do not repost! reblogs are appreciated ♡

[narrators-journal]

The sin of lust

Whoo boy has it been a hot minute since I wrote for my monster au, but I come back with spice! I hope you enjoy!

CW: spice, drugging, kinda? It’s consensual, but Senku gets dosed with Succubus venom. Alley sex.

After so long buried beneath college work and his monster hunting responsibilities, Senku was thankful for a day to walk around the town and have nothing to do. Well, technically, he did have something to be doing. He had a group project he was supposed to be helping to present, but his group mates had stuck him with every ounce of work for the past three projects that semester, so he'd gone to his professor and talked to him about it. So, while the leek had presented to his teacher the day before, his lazy project-mates were left to do so today, leaving the leek free to walk around the town in the daylight for once with a sense of petty glee. To celebrate this, he got himself a soda and a bag of sweets to munch while he strolled down the streets, looking into shops and chatting with his friends when they crossed paths. It was nice, the day was crisp, but it was better than the bone chilling temperatures of the last few days, and his snacks were good, so he was in a pretty good mood when he ran into the familiarly split-dyed demon who had decided to appear in his kitchen the last time they met,               "well, well, well, this is a new occurrence." He snorted as he walked up behind the man who was sitting on a bench at a bus stop, making the man jump a bit and glare back at him,              "Ah, I see the produce aisle came to life, you're right, it is a weird occurrence," they grinned at one another while the monster hunter leaned against the back of the bench, his bag of sweets hanging from one hand next to Gen,              "What brings you out in the daylight?" He asked, smacking the succubus' hand away from his sweets as he spoke,              "I don't just come out at night, I'm not a vampire." he snorted, "Today I'm basically casing people out for food, I don't just sleep with whoever, I have standards." He tried again for the sweets, so the monster hunter straightened again,              "Well, I can't promise you sex, but I can buy you something to munch on to get you to leave mine alone." Senku offered, getting a fanged grin and an eager hop up from the bench out of the demon. So, the leek lead the succubus off to find food, talking all the way. They chatted about nothing too important, Senku's college work, his future plans, Gen's usual daily habits, all the casual, mundane chatter. Despite how bland the topic was, the hunter saw how happy it made the succubus to talk about it. It was a pretty nice feeling. By the time the monster hunter had given up on his hunt for a snack or treat Gen would let him buy, it was beginning to dip into evening, and the leek had long finished his own snack and was hungry yet again. So, with a sigh, he shook his head,          "How about instead of a snack, I buy you dinner?" He offered, watching the demon's face split with a triumphant grin, "was that why you were so stubborn on the snack? You wanted me to buy you dinner?" he got no answer, but that was answer enough. With an eye roll, Senku took his new date off to a cheap restaurant. The meal wasn't fancy, just some take out place that the leek knew about, but if the demon was unhappy to sit on the curb beside the leek with their food, he didn't show it. Instead, he just continued to talk,             "So, got any questions about my biology today?" He hummed, taking a bite of his food while his dark blue eyes watched Senku do the same,              "Not at the moment," he admitted with a shrug, the monster hunter watching the demon pout playfully,              "Awww, no questions about my hunting process? Or my venom? How disappointing," His joke seeming to catch the hunters attention,             "You have venom?" Senku asked, his eyes glittering with instant intrigue while he watched the demon grin at how easily he'd gotten a reaction,            "Yeah, I think a lot of high powered demons have venom that induce their particular sin. Since I'm a sex demon, mine is basically an aphrodisiac," he boasted with a coy smile shot to the hunter while he digested the new information. He was quiet for a long moment, both just enjoying their food while Senku thought before finally speaking once more,              "Can I...Would it be inappropriate for me to ask to get a sample of your venom?" Gen hummed, pretending to think about it before he nodded, giving the monster hunter another charming smile while he spoke again,             "I don't know if it'd work on you, but if you're desperate to try, all you've gotta do is kiss me," The monster hunter rolled his crimson eyes,             "Is this just a ploy?" He asked while the demon snickered at the way his cheeks turned a faint shade of pink before shaking his head and giving his best innocent look despite the goofy grin on his face. With that, after a brief moment of hesitation and with a muttered threat of bodily harm if he lied, Senku leaned over and kissed him, jumping a bit when the succubus responded almost instantly by throwing his arms around his neck and pulling him close to deepen the kiss for a long moment. Admittedly, Senku didn't dislike the kiss at all. While he was inexperienced, Gen, predictably, wasn't, and he had no issue giving the leek hands on lessons. It was shockingly arousing to let the demon briefly explore his mouth, his tails snaking around the monster hunter so he couldn't pull away until Gen finally leaned away once more. When senku finally got a chance to breath, he tried not to pant like some dog in heat, needing a moment to focus in on the playful smile painted across Gen's face before he could seem to formulate any words,            "What?" He huffed, feeling his cheeks heat up once more while the demon loosened his hold on his neck,            "Nothing, you're just adorable~" he hummed, stealing another peck before completely letting him go so he could sit up correctly and taking a drink from his soda, ignoring the dirty, pink-cheeked glare the monster hunter shot him. However, said monster hunter didn't say anything about it and just returned to the remains of his food. After that, the two sat in silence for a period of time. Senku didn't feel much of a difference at first, but he kept an eye on the time all the same. At first, nothing was super obvious, at least, not recognizable to the leek, but when his blood began to fill with a fizzing, burning need for something he couldn't quite place. It hit like a freight train, and just as quickly seemed to muddle his mind and make it difficult to focus anymore,               "There it is," Gen hummed knowingly, watching him, "It's pretty potent, isn't it?" Senku just looked at him, suddenly feeling too hot,               "holy shit dude...is this how I'm supposed to feel? It's..weird," the demon laughed a bit, taking a moment to take in the way his cheeks were increasingly pink, then finally spoke again,               "It's adorable to see your confusion at arousal," he hummed, "but yes, this is what my venom does. If left unchecked, it won't be fun for long though," Senku thought about it for a moment, slowing his panting breaths again before nodding,               "Okay, so how do I stop it? Wait it out?" He asked, though they both knew that was the wrong answer. Despite that, a small stretch of silence settled between them before Gen spoke again with a playful tone,             "you want my help dealing with the venom, dear Senku-chan?~" the monster hunter refused to look into his cobalt eyes as he debated the offer. He couldn't accuse the monster of misleading him into this awkward situation, he'd known what effects the venom would have, and he couldn't accuse him of not warning him of the strength because he hadn't thought to ask. So, he had no one to blame for the unyielding burn of lust eating at him, but himself, and he doubted he could get himself out of the predicament. So, with burning cheeks, he accepted the demon's offer and let himself be dragged off to a more private area that was dark enough for him to help. That spot was a small alley that Gen pulled Senku into before spinning around to pull the leek into a very heated kiss. Quickly, Senku kissed back, snaking his arms around the succubus' waist while he led him deeper into the alley until he was against one of the walls. With that, the sex demon had trapped himself between the monster hunter and a cold brick wall, but if he cared, he didn't show it. Instead, he began pulling at Senku's pants. When he realized that, the hunter broke the kiss, obediently undoing his belt and letting the demon push them down his legs with one hand and palm at the growing bulge in his boxers with the other. The friction of his touch earning a few mindless moans from the hunter, even the slightest touches or kisses sending bolts of arousal through his blood. On top of that, Gen kissed him, then down his neck, turning Senku into goo in minutes. Before he knew it, Gen had him out of his boxers and was out of his own pants with a leg wrapped around his hips and his two tails coiled around the hunter to help him situate himself so that the split-haired demon could push himself onto the monster hunter, making them both moan. Once he was inside of him, it was like Senku's restraint snapped. Without hesitation, he began moving, sliding a hand down to claw into the succubus' hip while he slammed into him. Senku's head swam with hormones as he moved, relishing the friction and the way Gen clung to him and panted out a slew of lascivious noises. Though, maybe the monster hunter was the one moaning so much, he couldn't tell, he was too caught up in stealing sloppy, heated kisses from the succubus while the demon tangled his fingers in his thick hair and squeezed his legs around the hunter's waist. It all mixed together to further the heat thrumming through every nerve in the leek's body until it finally came to a head and Senku had to bury his face in the demon's neck to muffle his loud moan while he orgasmed, leaving the monster hunter winded and a bit disoriented until Gen wiggled and pulled him closer still.          "I...don't think I can go again," he muttered into his neck, making the succubus hum as he moved one of Senku's hands down to his still-erect member. Getting the hint, the monster hunter straightened a bit, shifting the other man's weight so he could keep him up with one hand and the support of the wall he was against. Then, he wrapped his free hand around Gen's member and followed his lead in stroking it. While he did that, he let Gen pull him into another kiss to muffle his moans and muttered orders until he met his own end after a few final movements. Once they'd both orgasmed, Senku pulled out and put Gen down, both getting their clothing back in order. While Gen didn't seem all too bothered by the situation, Senku felt his face alternate between flushing a deep red, and paling in embarrassment.               "You alright, Senku-chan?" the succubus hummed, noticing his embarrassment once he was dressed,               "I'm not much of an exhibitionist," he muttered with a nervous laugh, rubbing at the back of his neck and looking down at the ground while Gen snickered and pat his cheek,               "It'll be okay, I promise, no one's out to catch us. Thanks for feeding me though, I appreciate it~" he hummed, kissing the hunter's cheek before wishing him well and stepping around him when he got the vibe that the leek was too flustered to talk after that. Once he was gone though, and Senku had collected himself, he headed home too, never to acknowledge this encounter again.

[trashbinbackyard]

jack/mirad & kai/helvi

I woke up at 8 and went like eeeh i can sleep another half an hour and them boom, 1pm

1. Who's the one who's reckless and always getting into trouble while the other gotta pull em out

Mirad has grown past his most reckless tendencies, Jack however hasn't, but he's more at danger to himself than to others

Kai is very careful when he's out hunting and he's never alone. Helvi however has a habit of going into the woods alone

2. Who's the one to send the other "I love my gf/bf" memes

I don't feel like either?

If they had phones it'd be Helvi

4. Which one spoils the other more and do they ever get competitive to show the other more love

Mirad spoils Jack, lets be real, it doesn't turn into a competition bc it's in moderation, and mostly Mirad treating Jack to some of his skincare products

Kai miiiiight spoil Helvi juuuuust a bit, he doesn't mind getting up way earlier to fix her breakfast and help her tie her hair and acquiring many fur blankets

5. How many years did it take to get married or was it just not for them

A few years for sure, when they both were sure about it. Probably talked about it too before Mirad proposed

Few years, if wasn't for Kai's role in the village they would've gotten married later, as neither really saw marriage as That important and just something they one day would like to do.

6. What was their wedding like

Small, just closest family and couple friends, nothing extravagant for the middle aged men

Whole day event basically with everyone from the village and surrounding area invited (against Kai's best wishes), Weddings, and especially high profile weddings like that are few and far between and they're quite the event. Small ceremony but then a huge feast with dancing singing and general revelry

7. Is their friends/family supportive

Ellen is very happy for them both, Mirad's parents were wary but approve later on, Marda is still sus about Jack

Very much so, Kory pretty much pushed them to get married already, Kat when she finds out is very happy for them both. Helvi's parents are so proud and treat Kai like close family

8. How does one comfort the other when the other is in distress/having a panic attack/crying

Mirad talks to Jack gently, checks if he hasn't hurt himself, bring him a snack and drink. When Mirad's distressed Jack will ask if he can do anything and keep him company if he lets him

If Kai's in distress he tends to shut down and all Helvi can really do is keep him company and hold him. If Helvi's upset Kai will call a timeout and just go somewhere with her where she can calm down and talk things through

9. Which one dissociates

Jack mostly

-

10. Which one stares at the other's booty like "damn" and how does the other react when catching them

Both. Mirad would be more cheeky (hehe) in his reaction while Jack is like "my booty?? :0"

Helvi. Kai blushes

11. When they live together what kinda place do they live in? What does their home look like?

Both had their separate places, where Mirad's was very neat and organized and Jack's was a whole mess. Jack would still keep his place as a workshop while he pretty much now lives with Mirad, where he learns to respect the house rules

They share a two-story chief's house with Kory and a garm, they have the whole lower level to themselves pretty much, and it's quite big, it's very cozy and bit cabin'y even if it's larger

13. How does each act when getting drunk

Jack's a sad drunk, first thing Mirad knew about him tbh. Mirad doesn't drink if I remember correct

Neither of them want to get Drunk drunk, just tipsy. Kai loosens up and gets chattier. Helvi gets giggly and cuddly

14. Which one rolls over in the morning to wake up the other one just to give kiss them

Beware the morning breath. Mirad wakes up before Jack

Kai doesn't wake Helvi up when he leaves the bed to go prepare breakfast, but when that's done he will kiss her goodmorning

16. Does one have an interest the other think is weird but wants to listen to it regardless

Jack likes welding for fun too, he's made some little "art" pieces for Mirad with textures he knows he likes, and Mirad appreciates it. Mirad's big into working out and Jack will be out of breath in two minutes if he joins but it's a pleasant experience

Helvi loves making potions and instruments and while Kai knows little about either he's up for helping her if she asks, she also sings. I know this seems kinda random bc I just know thought of it, but Kai's into drawing with charcoals, it would be fitting for his "quiet kid with not many friends" character (it hits a little too close home lmao)

17. Which one uses cropped hentai as reaction images

That's very much up Jack's alley

If they had phones, Helvi

18. Does one of them kinkshame the other

Not kinkshame, more like kink-concern on Mirad's part like "Jack, honey, WHY do you wanna be choked that hard"

Neither of them have really out there kinks, though Helvi would be up to do it in the woods. Just have to be extra careful they're far enough from any civilization

19. Is one of them self conscious about their body? If so how does the other comfort them

Jack, he's pudgy and wrinkly. Mirad doesn't mind it one bit and calling Jack a sexy beast on the regular makes Jack happy and less ashamed of his body

Helvi used to, before trans-your-gender spell hit, (and bc she basically got to decide what her body would look like of course she has no regrets) Kai is very body-neutral about himself, yeah that's a body, nothing special but ain't nothing wrong with it either

21. What is their song? Like the song that gives them overwhelming feelings?

Well I have listed Silent storm for them once and you know what, I stand by it

From Heilung Traust and Krigsgaldr (first half of it anyway), both were big inspirations for Helvi's character in general and Maria Franz is her voiceclaim too lol (also the guy on krigsgaldr second verse for Kai's voiceclaim (before 4.40 mark))

28. Are either of them mentally ill, if so how do they help one another cope

Jack is a recovering addict, also depressed, and alcoholic (recovering when they get together). Mirad is also an ex-addict and while he's much further into his recovery he's not immune to the shitty stuff that still might happen, they're each other's peer support

Helvi used to have bad dysphoria

29. Does one have a spot on them where they would melt when the other kisses them there

Head, forehead for Jack (and lips of course) he's not that big into getting kisses on his body. Mirad is sensitive everwhere but IIRC neck and sides are big

Helvi's wrists and neck just below her ears. Kai's throat and forehead

30. Do they dance together

Mirad poledances, Jack enjoys the view

At their wedding sure, both lil tipsy and letting loose, both lost their flower crowns that evening

31. Do they sing together

More like hum if they feel like it

Helvi's the one signing, Kai might join in on a verse or two

34. Are they a reckless couple or safe

Pretty safe with the occasional reckless on Jack's part

Safe

35. What be their kinks and do they try each other's kinks

Love and Care, and choking

They're pretty vanilla

37. Do they get into fights often? If so what do they fight over and how do they make up?

Arguments sure about Jack's self-destructive behaviors sometimes but the rule is never go to sleep angry so they both reflect on it with compassion

Not really, at least before The Incident, apologize and kiss and make up

38. Which one's top, bottom, verse

Mirad's a top, Jack is a pillow princess vers

Kai's top, Helvi's bottom

39. What kinda sex they be having (gentle rough whatever)

Whatever they're in the mood for, some tender lovin'? Sure! Get hot and heavy? With moderation. Break into laughter in the middle of it? Silly is also a mood!

It starts off as hot and heavy but calms down to more gentle

40. Who would fight in honor for the other if someone would insult them

Jack would just hit them with the "don't be meeeaaan 🥺🥺" Mirad I feel like would go the verbal route as well but more stern

It's common knowledge to Not insult the village shaman (the one who has illness remedies and the one who blesses you before you travel), and you DONT insult the the chief's kid/chief. They're both capable of defending themselves but Kai will step in if he happens to hear

44. Do they want kids

Nah, who needs kids when you got nieces

Yeah, and I've finally made up my mind, they're gonna adopt a bunch (and bc you dropped out of the campaign I can tell you how: a village not that near but not that far gets attacked by a power hungry druid and leaves bunch of kids without parents and the party will escort them back to Kai's village, before they go after the druid)

[suzukiblu]

Fic Writer Meme

Tagged by my dear @dancinbutterfly, and like, obviously I will take any excuse to talk about writing.

.

1) how many works do you have on ao3?

168, although a few of those are podfics that the podficcer credited me as a co-author on. Actually less than I would’ve expected, tbh.

2) what is your total ao3 word count?

1,431,989. Honestly also kinda less than I would’ve expected at this point. I will blame all those old fics I never brought over from LJ and ff.net for this expectation.

3) how many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

I literally cannot tell you, the ancient ways have been lost to me. I can give you my Ao3 fandoms, though!

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Overwatch

The Witcher (Netflix)

Young Justice (Cartoon)

Animorphs

Star Wars

Good Omens

Venom

Fantastic Four

Leverage

League of Legends

Daredevil

Supernatural

Care Bears

World of Warcraft

Spider-Man

X-Men

Slender Man Mythos

Additionally, long ago: Naruto, Gundam Wing, Digimon, Ranma ½, Bleach, Inu-Yasha, and many scattered other fandoms of my youth. So, so many others. So I’ve written for 25+ fandoms, at least.

4) what are your top 5 fics by Kudos.

a mark, a mission, a brand, a scar (13004)

I once started out to walk around the world but ended up in Brooklyn (8450)

it’s a long way forward (so trust in me) (6965)

oh don’t you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me (6818)

if the bad times are coming let ‘em come (5362)

5) do you respond to comments?

Not really these days, though I hoard and treasure them like a freaking DRAGON. I used to respond to all of them but sometimes I’m just not around and then it becomes awkwardly late to reply and also they kinda . . . pile up a bit. I do try to answer all the comments with questions in them, at least, as long as the questions aren’t literally spoilers or anything like that.

6) what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t usually write super-angsty endings, I think? I don’t FEEL like I usually write super-angsty endings, anyway, at least not these days. I think I did it more often when I was more into, like, drabbles and shortfic. Now I just spend way too long on stuff to give it a downer ending.

The most recent angsty ending I can think of is wanna hold him, maybe I’ll just sing about it, though eventually I did write a sequel to that to soften the blow a bit. And also torment people a bit. Both, technically. Technically both.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

blondes really do have more fun, definitely. It’s very . . . giddy, I guess? What with the gender euphoria and all. There’s angst and heavy emotions in the actual plot but the highs of the happy parts/ending are probably the highest/happiest ones I’ve written, and Supergirl gets everything she wants without having to compromise or give up anything else.

8) do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I write fusion fic more than crossovers, really, but I have written a LOT of fusion fic. Some of it has been weirder than others, tbh, but probably the Avatar: The Last Airbender/Animorphs fusion that I have been lovingly slaving over deserves to be this answer if only for how much extremely sincere effort I have put into it over the years.

9) have you ever received hate on a fic?

Mild hate, but occasionally. I don’t really tend to remember negative comments, tbh, though it does sometimes make me not want to reread the comment section I know they’re in. But a lot of the hate I’ve gotten in the end just seemed like socially-awkward people being unnecessarily blunt instead of just hitting the back button, so I try not to take it personally. Can’t please everyone. Don’t WANT to please everyone, frankly.

10) Do you write smut? What kind?

Yes, and the kind is “a lot”. Sometimes I don’t really feel like it but definitely I have done a lot of it. I try for Feelings and also to be safe, sane, and consensual as much as I can.

11) have you ever had a fic stolen?

I . . . am not sure? Though probably, after being at this for all this time. Someone once told me that someone picked up a fic I’d (at the time) abandoned and just started writing/posting more of it without asking or telling me about it, but I never actually found said fic and I don’t know if that technically counts as “stealing” anyway.

12) have you ever had a fic translated?

A few times, yup, it’s pretty gratifying! I also like to run them back through Google Translate and see what they say, haha.

13) have you ever co-written a fic before?

yoooo @dancinbutterfly, @rainnecassidy! Also done it with a few other people long, LONG ago, but that was back in the LJ era. Don’t think I’ve technically collabed with anyone else lately, although sometimes people will give me ideas for stuff I’m writing or offer suggestions when I’m stuck on a thing, which is very helpful.

14) what’s your favourite ship?

Like . . . per fandom? ‘Cuz we could be here a while. Most recently it’s Jaskier/Geralt, for a while it was Aziraphale/Crowley, DEFINITELY for a while it was Steve/Bucky . . .

You know, I guess technically my all-time favorite ship is actually Naruto/Sasuke, because I made a LOT of friends in Naruto fandom and it actually hugely influenced the end of my teenage years and beginning of my adult life and so, SO much of my writing. So like, if nothing else it wins on influentialness.

15) what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Let ‘Em Come. @rainnecassidy and I wrote that AU a long-ass time ago now and I never did my half of the sequel fic because I got too distracted with another longfic I was working on at the time and then took a real long fandom break. I always felt kind of bad about it because people seemed to bother her for said sequel more than they bothered ME for it, since her fic was the last posted part. Unfortunately I just don’t have the spoons or the MCU-focus for the research and effort it’d take anymore. Also, like . . . it’d probably be pretty long, so unless I was REAL obsessive about it it’d take a good long while.

Basically I think its time has just passed at this point, alas.

16) what are your writing strengths?

Sex, action, snark, and weird fusion fics. Also making people love things they usually hate, that’s one I get told a lot.

17) what are your writing weaknesses?

Fitting physical descriptions of . . . literally ANYTHING into the story. Just, anything. Physical descriptions are hard.

18) what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I try not to do it, personally, because I know soooooo very little about other languages. Sometimes I’ll sprinkle in a little bit of it, but usually I feel like it’s better to avoid it, personally.

19) what was the first fandom you wrote for?

I literally could not even tell you. The first fandom I REMEMBER writing proper “fic” for was . . . Ranma ½, I think. I thiiiiink. But that was a long-ass time ago and I never even posted it anywhere because those were the days when I despised typing things up beyond all measure, hah. And before that I remember writing Animorphs . . . comics? Storyboards? Something like that. Kind of a cross between the two.

20) what’s your favourite fic you’ve ever written?

I do not know! There’s really just too many, tbh. Some top options are you found me when no one else was looking, best friends means you get what you deserve, clay kids, Avamorphs, handmaiden!Anakin, oh don’t you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me, and . . . and I could go on for a dang MINUTE, honestly, haha, I’m just gonna stop myself here before I get too carried away.

.

I tag whoever happens to be reading this that wants to be tagged; have fun with it!

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

you touched on it in that other ask, but i’m curious now: what do you imagine dan and serena’s marriage would be like? (based off of canon mostly, but ignoring gossip dan because fuck that lol) i’m not sure i personally see their marriage as loveless the way i understand that word (and do believe nair’s marriage would be), but more… extremely dysfunctional and chaotic? and i’m very interested in more of your thoughts about them!

this got SO LONG lkfdhlkgfg im SO sorry. under the cut

the really sad thing about derena in s5/s6 to me is that they're both actively looking for something in each other that just isn't there anymore. of course, we don't know what happened during that 5 year time gap. and 5 years is a lot - it's as much time as the whole show up to the flash-forward. this makes the ending really weird and ambiguous, in the sense of like. they could hypothetically have fallen in love all over again in those five years, and maybe it was a real love.

but:

1. how many times? they've gotten together and broken up somewhere between 4-6 times in canon, i can't remember the exact number. i think after a point you need to realise that if you're trying THAT many times and still not able to meet each other's needs, it's just not going to happen.

2. that absolutely bizarre wedding. i did NOT get the sense of two people in love getting married at that wedding. it felt like there was something else going on there - like they had a secret and they were getting married to protect it, or something.

i would use the word loveless for the DS marriage because i feel like as far as romantic love goes, that ship has sailed? (this is different from loveless for NB where i don't think either of them has ever been in love with the other & they probably never will fall in love either.) like i don't see dan and serena looking at each other and feeling like you! you're everything to me or whatever else. but given how whenever things go wrong, they both immediately go to each other, i feel like they wouldn't be as dysfunctional/ toxic as like. a dangina endgame or something. they both trust each other in a way they don't trust anybody else!! that's really something.

the one good thing i can imagine (RIP) is that they'd probably have decent sex because that's what canon implies; their sexual chemistry was so good that even when everything else was falling apart for them they were having fun in bed. after a point though i think it'd stop being meaningful sex. and i think they'd gradually do it less and less.

unfortunately, the way they look at each other in s1 and smile at each other and enjoy being with each other... by the time we're in s6, that's more or less absolutely demolished. but at the same time, we've seen them be truly honest with each other when they're saying absolutely brutal stuff, like serena's 'i think sometimes i test you to see if you will leave' thing in s4. we've seen them choose each other when it doesn't make sense for them to do so - like dan sticking with serena after her dad abandons them in s3, driving with her for them to say bye to her dad despite how much william fucked things up for rufus. so what i'm trying to say is that, i don't..... know? what derena will really be like?? their dynamic has always had a specific durability & endurance to it, and they've always cared about each other and wanted each other to be happy, so i would hope parts of that remain despite the damage.

i would see them struggling to decide what kind of life they want to live. serena would want to travel or live somewhere disconnected from the city, like a village or a quaint town, but dan is a city boy through and through, like a fish in water, he would be so miserable if you took him away from there. i imagine dan would want kids, but serena absolutely hands down would not. i think if she got pregnant she'd keep it, though, for dan, but i don't see that arc going well for her - i don't think she'd be able to handle being a mother, and i think it'd probably lead to a very messy divorce, because i don't see serena being able to walk out on her kid (her dad did that to her and she KNOWS what it's like), but at the same time, she's clearly not happy, and i think dan would be more than happy to be a single dad.

i think dan and serena are just, re: what they're looking for in life, very incompatible, and it'd show up a lot if they get married - they would fight and argue over how much money they're spending on what ('we don't need another car, serena') or what sort of activities they're going to do ('you can make friends with a club membership, dan') and i think it'd be. not very happy for both of them.

@mysteriesofloves 's fic 'harbour lights' describes that very specific genre of discontent / dissatisfied that i think dan and serena would be, tbh. it's a sad read, but it felt SO true to me. secondaudrina's fic dear so-and-so - it's been very long since i read this, but it's a classic for a reason.

i have a lot of feelings about d&s. like. i think they love each other. i think they genuinely care about each other. but sometimes that's not enough!!! maybe it was enough when both of them were 17, but you don't stay that age forever. the world is different when you're in high school as opposed to when you're in your 20s making big decisions that dictate the shape of your life. and i think for dan and serena the real heartbreak is realising that even though they love each other so much, they still can't be the person the other needs. they can't build a future together, because they're going in different directions. oh whoops i just referenced my own fic here LKHFDLKHG.

they would try, though. they would try so hard. they would always mean the apologies they give each other, it'd never be insincere. they would do so many considerate things for each other. they'd take care of each other if one of them fell sick. dan would maybe teach serena how to cook. they'd split household work and serena wouldn't even mind.

but they're not in love anymore. and something's always missing. they both feel somehow empty, despite having gotten here.

& when they fight, it's terrible. when you know someone as well as dan knows serena or serena knows dan, you know all their weak points. their achilles heel, their insecurities, etc. you can really hurt them (that thing serena says in hellseason s6 about the ones who love us knowing how to hurt us best? that). i think there would be plenty of cutting remarks, raised voices, and crying. i don't think either of them would get physical with each other, though (i do see serena maybe pushing dan away, but i don't think she'd hit him or anything like that.)

i just don't think their marriage would be sustainable, tbh, based off what we've seen in canon for them, at least. the real question is what happened during that 5 year flash forward? because if it's more of the same patterns as 2007 - 2012 repeating, then, yeah, derena is damned. but if they actively unlearnt some things, maybe got relationship counselling (& therapy, individually).... i don't know. maybe they grew up. maybe they can break out of those patterns. i don't really see it, tbh. but anything can happen in 5 years in the gg universe.

[esamastation]

Kenshi crossover petered off for now, and I started a Detroit Become Human crossover with Assassin’s Creed, which is now at chapter 10 so... time for status report.

Fic’s name is, currently, Renascence, and I’m probably keep that way. Takes place 1 year after DBH peaceful ending where everyone lived and it was nice. Also has RK900 and Gavin Reed as work partners in DPD. Hank and Connor started a new branch, the Android Crimes Division. It’s great. And then come the AC elements. which I won’t get into because spoilers.

The fic’s at least currently leans more to the DBH side, with AC stuff being kind of like “case of the week” element, but that might change. There’s action, there’s intrigue, android politics, some AU elements, someone almost dies, all the fun things.  Fingers crossed for the rest.

Sneak peak of Renascence Chapter 1

It'd been a year and Hank has only just started getting used to the weirdness of android crimes. Not, that is to say, crimes committed on androids – those generally follow the same banal style, be it hate crime, sex crime, or general every day human bullshit, those have already gotten so damn repetitive as to get fucking tiresome. Humans in general haven't changed, even if some of them have brand new illegal target to beat up.

But crimes committed by androids, once they have really come to their own, are… inhuman. Not cruel or particularly nasty, but simply the sort of crimes humans wouldn't think to do, necessarily, because the urges are completely different. And sure there were the normal sort, theft, murder, mayhem, all the good stuff. But then there was the other stuff.

With humans you don't have to worry about a human hunting down other humans in order to chop off their limbs to add them into themselves to form a sort of multi-limbed horror monster. They'd seen that one three months after the revolution, a former WE300 android turned into a human spider, because being bound by human body restraints was inadequate and androids shouldn't be confined to what humans considered most efficient. Trying to deal with the aftermath of that was something else – there was a whole redistribution of stolen limbs, it was weird.

You also don't have to worry about a human integrating themselves into the automated systems of a construction site in order to take it over to try and create… whatever it was that the WR400 had been trying to create. The net called it the ark, and there's still wild speculation going on. The WR400 completely mangled his own body to do the rewiring, and in the end they hadn't been able to untangle the android from the system – and something about putting a computer server into prison was just… it smacked of ridiculousness.

A human might hack an automated system, sure – but so far humans hadn't yet figured how to upload their consciousness into self-driving vehicles – androids, after one of them figured out how to do it, had made it their version of joyriding. Just hop out of your body and into a cab and go speeding down the wrong way on a highway. They had few deaths that way, human and android both, before they started patching up those holes in the firewalls. Still happened, and it was still messed up and weird and unique to androids.

And Hank was damn happy he didn't have to deal with the android that momentarily hijacked the systems of the space station, that was a shit show and no mistake.

But after a while, he'd started to get a hang of it. Androids, testing limits, going overboard, getting messed up – not that different from humans doing the same, they just had different means and different triggers. And with the laws still only marginally even thought of, they didn't have much restraint to their brand of weirdness. How do you even deal with someone who stole a state of the art artificial tiger and decided to turn themselves into a tiger-android… centraur-thing?

Android self-expression, man.

"Makes me miss having to deal with just the homicide," Hank mutters, not for the first time. But no, there was a new department, first in the nation, Android Crimes Division, and he just happened to be the sad sack of shit who had to deal with it.

"Well, one can't say it's boring," Connor says, placing a cup of coffee beside him. "What's on the docket today, Lieutenant?"

Hank huffs and reaches for the cup, waving to the screen – three times as big as his old one, because upgrades, people, upgrades. "Weird activity at what was supposed to be an abandoned building. Someone went in, had a look, found androids and got freaked out and made a report. Your usual thing," he says. "Did us a favour of taking pictures, though."

Connor hums, sitting on the edge of his table to look – still doing those human gestures, even though he could just download the files into his brain. "Well," he says.

Hank hums in agreement, leaning back.

In the image there are three androids standing on pedestals – none of them matching any of the standard models, though they're obviously been built up on CyberLife designs, judging by the one in the front, which has their skin turned off. All the androids are male, outwardly, but Hank knows that doesn't really mean anything these days. Half of the androids he knows – personally, these days, because he knows more androids than human people, it feels like – don't even conform to gender anymore. Still, if the other two matched the first, then they had CyberLife bodies with… modifications.

There is a web of wires running between the three androids, connecting them to each other by their temples – and the one in the middle with its skin turned off has eyes that glow faintly yellow.

"Why are we not going there, Lieutenant?" Connor asks curiously. "This looks like something right up our alley."

"It is – the site is being secured," Hank agrees, scratching at his chin. "And we're gonna head over there. I'm just…" he sighs. "Jurisdiction."

"Ah," Connor says, understanding. "Modified, potentially uninitialised androids, maybe even homemade ones. Depending on the state of things, this might be Jericho's jurisdiction."

"Well, we still got the first go, as per usual," Hank muses. "Still, I'm thinking we need a consult for this one, just in case. Think you can call up someone?"

"You could call yourself."

"Yeah, but it's so much faster when you do it." Connor doesn't have to go through all the bullshit of actually talking to people. And getting through to the big shots at Jericho is a pain even at the best of times, these days – even with his reputation, Hank is usually on hold for at least half an hour.

Connor smiles and then looks away, his eyelids fluttering as he sends a message to someone, his eyes going all vacant. Then he blinks. "Simon is free and happy to offer his assistance in this matter," he says and reaches over to touch the panel of Hank's computer. "I am sending him the address – he will meet us there in twenty minutes."

"Great," Hank says and sits up, taking the coffee cup with him. "Let's go."

[theotpauthor]

Hi! This is my gift for @kbaycolt for the @tma-valentines-exchange this year! You requested JonSasha and I hope you like it! 

“Jon!” a voice called, making him startle. He put down the can of soup he had been looking at and glanced down the aisle.

“I didn’t know you went to this grocery store,” his boss, Sasha, said happily. She was tugging along one of those hand held baskets, packed with some fruits and veggies.

“It’s the closest to my apartment,” Jon replied, “so it’s convenient. I thought you lived further out though?”

“I do,” she admitted easily, “but the produce section in my normal grocers is complete garbage. Half of the time they’re only a couple days from rotting.”

“Unpleasant.”

“Indeed. Especially after that last batch of statements. But while you’re here—would you mind staying after hours tomorrow? I have a non-work related favor to ask, but it’ll take a bit of time to explain and we both look a bit busy at the moment.”

“Ah—” If it was anyone else Jon would have said no easily, or at least fumbled his way through an excuse, but this was his boss, and (though she hadn’t meant any cruelty by it) one of their first conversations had been her laying out, quite explicitly, his complete lack of credentials for his job. That was six months ago, and they had both grown closer as a unit in the archives, but he still felt an underlying need to prove that he was worthy of his job. He desperately wanted her to think he was competent, and refusing to help her was just another way of saying he wasn’t capable of doing so. “Of course.”

“Thank you!” Sasha said with a grin. “I know this is a little out of nowhere, but it’s nothing too bad, I promise. I’ve gotta run now, but I’ll see you on Monday!”

. . . o0o . . .

“You wanted to see me?” Jon said, peering into Sasha’s office. He tapped his fingers together at his side and hope she didn’t notice; he still wasn’t sure what the issue was and his nerves had steadily increased since their meeting at the supermarket.

“Ah, yes,” Sasha nodded. “Here, come in, sit down.” He did. “Well, easiest to tear the bandaid off quickly I suppose. Will you pretend to date me so Tim gives up on me?”

This was—not what Jon had been expecting. He hadn’t really had set expectations in the first place, besides something probably professional, and this was far from that.

“Has Tim been . . . making you uncomfortable?” Jon asked, eyebrows crinkled in confusion and a hint of worry, but Sasha was shaking her head before he got the chance to finish.

“Oh no, nothing like that. Tim is a good guy. He’s just . . . the type to hold out hope, you know? We had a brief fling and he keeps trying to make it more. And the only way to get him to move on genuinely instead of pretending is to convince him that there’s no use waiting for me to change my mind.”

“Huh,” Jon said speculatively. “He hadn’t struck me as particularly romantic. At least, not in that way.”

“So, will you do it?”

Jon hesitated. He remembered working with Tim before, and though Jon had acted as prickly as ever, it had never seemed to bother him. They hadn’t quite gotten to a level that Jon would call friends, but they had been getting there before Jon’s transfer to Archives.

“Won’t this hurt him? Wouldn’t it be better to wait until you’re actually in a relationship?”

“Ideally, but I don’t want him to be pining over me for who knows how long before I find my person. He’s my friend, and I don’t want him to miss out on someone because he was too busy wanting something that will never happen.”

“. . . And as for hurting him?”

“A necessary evil.” Sasha pursed her lips. She had known Jon and Tim were friends, but she hadn’t been sure how deep the bond had been on Jon’s end. She still wasn’t sure if it would help or hurt her scheme. “Look, I don’t like it either. But he’s going to get hurt at some point, and I’d rather have it be short and—well, not sweet really—than long and drawn out. This’ll be better in the long run.” She stared at Jon, and wiped her hands nervously on her pants. “Will you do it? I know this might be a bit weird since I’m your boss but—”

“I—no, I’ll—I’ll do it. But we’re going to need to work out the logistics. I mean, Tim knows both of us. We can’t just be dating out of nowhere.”

Sasha grinned, relief flooding over her. Her teeth shone.

“I’ve already made a plan. You could come over my place so we could talk about it? Figured it’d be better to discuss it here than in a more public place.”

. . .

“You’ve thought about this a lot,” Jon said, blinking slightly. In front of him were various papers, all tacked up onto a corkscrew board, describing different versions of how they could have started dating, their various dates, and more. It might have been creepy, except for the fact that Sasha was a constant overplanner, and he was somewhat surprised she hadn’t simply told him a backstory she had created.

“I was trying to find something realistic that still wouldn’t hurt Tim too badly,” Sasha admitted, chewing on her lip as she glanced over the various papers. Jon noticed for the first time that her concealer had slipped, and she had bags under her eyes.

“Are his feelings that strong?”

“It’s not that they’re strong,” Sasha said slowly, trying to think of how to say it. “It’s that they’re constant. Tim acts flippant but once he cares about people, it’s very hard for him to stop.”

That hadn’t been the impression that Jon had gotten, but Jon had only known him for a couple months before his transfer, and Sasha had known him since university, so he was willing to assume she knew better in this case.

“That aside,” Sasha said, “I say we figure out the most awkward part first and get it out of the way. When did we first have sex?”

“We didn’t,” Jon said dryly. “I’m asexual, and not particularly prone to PDA either.”

Sasha paused for a moment, readjusting her plans with the new information.

“Well, we still need to act comfortable around each other. We don’t need to go making out in back corners of a club or anything, but couples usually have an ease around each other.” She smiled over at him, teasing. “Unless hand holding is too scandalous?”

“Haha,” Jon rolled his eyes. “No, that’s—fine. I know I’m agreeing to this, but I just didn’t want you to think that—er, that is, I—”

“Jon,” Sasha cut in gently. She thought of placing her hand on his knee before thinking better of it. “Even if we were dating, no string attached, I would never make you do something you didn’t want to. Sure, I like hooking up with people, but in the list of things I couldn’t live without, sex doesn’t even reach the top twenty.”

“Oh.” Jon’s face went pink. He coughed. “Ah, well, right then. Glad that’s sorted.”

“Yes, though we definitely need to discuss more about how we started dating . . . “

. . .

Jon looked at the address Sasha had texted him again, checking for the countless time that it was right. Tim was throwing a small house party, and he was Sasha’s date. He had offered to pick her up, but Sasha hadn’t even given the idea a thought before saying no.

“It’s quicker for both of us if we just meet there,” she had said over the phone. Jon wasn’t much of a talker, but Sasha had insisted on using phones rather than texts that anyone could read later. “and I would that to anyone I was dating too. Actually caused some issues in the past, but I never got what the difference between ten minutes was.”

So Jon was in front of Tim’s house by himself, and trying to convince himself that walking up to the door and knocking was not nearly as hard as it felt. It was only when he started considering waiting for Sasha outside that he pushed himself out of it and forced his legs to move.

“Hey Jo—woah,” Tim said as he opened the door, face going slack in surprise before his grin was back, “I’ve never seen you in casual clothes. Feels like I’m breaking the law.”

“Haha,” Jon said, rolling his eyes. He glanced down at his clothes—he had the foresight to stay away from his old college clothes, but honestly his outfit wasn’t much. Just an old t-shirt from a band he used to follow and a pair of jeans. Sasha had warned him not to be too formal, and he had tried to follow that advice. “I do, actually, have a life outside of work.”

He didn’t, really, but Tim didn’t need to know that.

“Hey, I’m not complaining,” Tim said. “Casual looks good on you. Come in.”

After a couple minutes of small talk and being introduced to Tim’s friends, he found himself sitting on the couch next to Tim.

“So you and Sasha, huh?”

Jon felt his cheeks warm and was glad his darker skin made it hard for people to tell. If he didn’t know better, he wouldn’t have known Tim had feelings for her at all.

“If you’re going to interrogate him, you could at least wait until I’m here,” Sasha cut in, and Jon felt himself relax. He wasn’t good at lying, and her easy grin made the whole farce seem more believable.

“What’s the fun in that?” Tim shot back, laughing. “And did you pick the lock? I don’t remember you knocking.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Sasha grinned.

“Hellion,” Tim said. “A complete and utter hellion.” He turned to Jon, whispering in a way that was meant to be heard. “Run away before you have to change all your locks.”

“Leave my boyfriend alone,” Sasha rolled her eyes.

“. . . I don’t see how changing locks would do anything if she can pick them?” Jon replied honestly, trying to wrap his head around the logistics of it. His blunt, honest tone made the other two laugh, which hadn’t been his intention, but was workable.

“So you two are official then? I have to say that I am betrayed that neither of you told me earlier.” His words were overly dramatic, as was the way he threw his hand over his heart, but Jon had a feeling there was a kernel of truth in them.

“We didn’t want to tell anyone. I’m his boss, and his transfer was so sudden that we didn’t want people to think the wrong thing.”

Sasha and Tim talked a bit longer, with Jon occasionally chiming in. It was obvious that the two had known each other for a long time; there was an ease in their teasing and back and forth that was almost enviable. It was easy to see why Tim’s feelings hadn’t faded before.

Eventually Tim was called away by a different one of his friends, leaving Sasha and Jon alone.

Sasha’s shoulders relaxed, and suddenly Jon felt guilty for not doing more in their little ruse. He should have put more effort in—but he couldn’t exactly apologize with people still around, so he pushed it down and made a note to apologize later.

“God,” Sasha muttered, “this would be so much easier if he realized how Martin looked at him.”

“Martin?” Jon asked, and she startled.

“Yes,” she said recovering, “the poor bastard is completely besotted, but turned Tim down for a hookup, and in Tim’s mind that means he could never be interested in a date either.”

“Ah,” Jon said, seemingly confused.

“Martin is romantic,” Sasha explained, “but Tim has never been in a relationship that hasn’t started off as purely sexual. But if they got past that hurdle I think they’d actually be a cute couple.”

“If Tim is a fan of constantly having stray animals in his house, then that’s his taste I suppose. Don’t get it myself.”

Sasha snorted.

“Martin apologized how many times about letting that dog in?”

“Not enough.”

“You know, he’s not that bad of a person. You might like him if you gave him a chance.”

“Doubtful,” Jon said dryly. “But we aren’t in the same department, so small mercies I suppose.”

“Ah yes, god forbid you have to work with anything less than complete competence.”

“Well, you’ve set the bar rather high,” Jon responded, the complete honesty in his voice making her blink, pleased. She was more used to teasing back and forth, but there was something nice about not feeling like she was in a competition.

Other people milled about, and they had various conversations with people that Jon immediately had forgotten the names of. At one point, drawing came up, and Jon went into a tirade about the evolution of crayons and other drawing materials as if he had a degree in it. There was a slight crinkle in between his brows, and his hands moved as he talked—different from the usual stiff, purposefully scowling persona he carried at work. Sasha stared, surprised.

Then she smiled, not thinking about it as she reached out and held his hand. He paused, seemingly only half aware of it. He glace at their hands, eyes lighting up slightly, before continuing, this time only gesturing with one hand, though she felt the other twitch in her hands at times.

. . .

The next Monday at work, the atmosphere was not awkward the way Jon had feared. It was incredibly easy to go back into the familiar patterns of researching statements that were patently fake. He had yet to find a single one that was true. Sasha felt the same way but said that this was as good a job as any other, and he agreed.

Once they both clocked out, Sasha asked Jon if they could talk.

“Did Tim believe it?” Jon asked. She nodded.

“You might not believe it, but he doesn’t normally drink quite that much. But I saw Martin watching over him and making sure he was alright, so I think he’ll be okay.”

“That’s good,” Jon said. There was a pause. “I know that you said it would just be one date, but I was thinking—” He stopped, knowing what he wanted to say but unsure of how to.

“Ah, well,” Sasha hadn’t expected to say this, had thought it would be a one and done sort of deal, but before she can think her words through, she adds, “It might be suspicious if we’re only together once. Tim might think that it’s just—just a fling.”

“Of course,” Jon said just a second too quickly. “Tim isn’t dumb, if we go back to acting as friends, he’ll realize something was up.”

“We’ll have to continue,” Sasha said in relief. “So he believes it.”

“So he believes it,” Jon echoed, and they shared a happy smile.

“He invited me to drinks this weekend with some friends if—”

“I’ll be there.” Jon stopped, flushing slightly as he backtracked. “Ah, sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt—”

“Don’t worry about it. So it’s a date?”

“It’s a date.”

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

[taetaesbaebaepsae]

Blood Orange

This is a spinoff/sequel to Inferno, which takes place in the Brimstone universe, which has a whole bunch of sequels and spinoffs, but all you really need to know is this: Jimin is an incubus and fruit grown in hell has big aphrodisiac properties.

Summary: Being invited to a party in hell ends up a lot more fun than you’d expected.

Warnings: WELL, feral Jimin is a lot, aphrodisiacs like in Pomegranate seeds, incubus semen is like its own aphrodisiac so there’s that, oral sex (f. receiving, m. receiving, unprotected sex, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, it’s all feral

Word Count: 2541

Dating a demon definitely had its upsides and downsides.

Being in hell at a demon birthday party...might be one of the downsides.

Hell itself is a lot less terrifying than it appears. I mean sure, there's a throne that might be made of human skulls in the corner, decorated with party hats, and it's awfully warm despite the air conditioner in Taemin's mansion, but otherwise it's a pretty swanky place.

Jimin's friend, the one Taemin had called Persephone, was celebrating her 21st (well, 2100, but who's counting) and you're glad to see Taemin smiling with the pretty girl on one arm and a blushing boy on the other, since the last time you'd seen him he'd been a bit distraught.

But you're also feeling very out of place. Besides the boy, Jungkook, you're the only human there, and things feel a bit awkward.

Jimin stays by your side for an hour but you can tell he's restless, not having spent much time below since you started dating. You smile at him and encourage him to mingle, but when he does, you feel oddly adrift.

It's kind of fun to people watch (demon watch?) though, like catching a tipsy Taemin nip at Jungkook's ear and Jungkook turning a brilliant shade of violet. Jimin and Perspehone reminiscing about their younger years, you catching bits and pieces.

"Remember when you seduced Charon and we took a joyride on the ship?" and "That was you, not me!" being the most memorable.

You're smiling and sipping your extremely strong drink when Jongin sits beside you on the plush couch.

"Having fun?" He asks, and gives you a smile.

You flush a little, having flashbacks to the night you met. It's a little weird to be at a party with three demons who have seen you naked, but overall you think you're handling it well.

"I am. You?"

Jongin shrugs, and when you look over at him his body language is all wrong, shoulders slumped, stubble on his face. 

"I'm trying."

You frown and lean closer. "What's wrong?"

Jongin sighs. "It's a long story."

"I don't think I'm going anywhere soon. Jimin wants to see his friends." You encourage, and Jongin gives you a grateful smile.

And that's how it starts, this night, and when it ends, you're so exhausted you can barely move.

🔥🔥🔥

Jimin's having a wonderful time, drinking firewhiskey and laughing with the birthday girl, and he loses track of you for a bit.

When he sees you sitting on the couch with Jongin, a hand on his knee, the drawback to bringing you to this party hits him all at once.

Incubi. Everywhere, and ones who you'd summoned specifically.

The one who'd gotten to be inside your cunt before he did, chatting you up on Taemin's couch.

Jimin doesn't realize he's gritting his teeth until his jaw starts to ache, and when Taemin tugs him aside, he protests.

"You've always been such a brat," Taemin scolds, and Jimin scoffs. "But he needs someone to talk to, so relax."

"She's mine," Jimin insists, the firewhiskey making his head fuzzy.

Taemin rolls his eyes. "Yes, yes, she's yours. You can show her that when the party's over, yeah? Have some fruit, make it tenfold." He gestures vaguely to the array of fruit on the table.

Jimin huffs, but the fruit does look appealing, especially the bright blood oranges. All fruit in the underworld was tinged with lust, his own father had a blood orange tree. 

These are particularly delicious though, bittersweet blooming on his tongue as soon as he pops a section into his mouth, and before he knows it he's eaten all of it.

When Taemin sees Jimin holding the rind of the orange, his eyes widen.

"Jimin, please don't tell me you ate an entire orange."

Jimin blinks at him and Taemin heaves a deep sigh.

"Of course you did. You ate an entire orange from the royal fruit tree."

"So? My dad had a blood orange tree, I'm used to it."

Taemin pinches the bridge of his nose. "The royal tree is ten times the lust of other trees."

"Oh." Jimin looks down at the orange rind, skin beginning to heat already. "Oh, shit."

"I suggest you get her home before it kicks in. I don't want you fucking on my sofa, Jimin, I mean it," Taemin warns, before he's dragged off.

🔥🔥🔥

You're hugging Jongin goodbye when Jimin plops down on the couch next to you bonelessly, and after giving Jongin a smile as he leaves, you turn to him.

His cheeks are flushed, body sunk into the couch, and you laugh.

"Too much to drink, baby?"

Jimin pouts. "Didn't drink much," he insists.

You lean over to kiss his cheek, but he makes this sound almost like a moan and pulls you close, half into his lap, kissing your neck.

"Ah!" You cry, surprised but with heat spearing in your belly. "Not here, Jiminie."

"Wanna bend you over on this couch and fuck you in front of everyone," he mumbles, and your face burns.

"Jimin!"

"Want everyone to see you're mine, want everyone to hear you screaming my name," he continues, and you're choking on air.

When he grabs a handful of your ass, that's when you pull away, and he whimpers, looking almost devastated at the loss of touch.

"Firewhiskey is dangerous," you mutter, and Taemin looks over from where he's sitting on his throne with Persephone in his lap, seemingly asleep, one hand threaded in her hair.

"Oh, he ate an orange," he says, as if that explains everything.

You raise an eyebrow at him.

It's Jungkook who finally explains, sitting comfortably at Taemin's feet.

"It's like an aphrodisiac. A super strong one. I ate one pomegranate seed and…" he blushes. "It took a whole day to get it out of my system. It's like what they do to us, you know?" He explains.

You frown, confused, and then it dawns on you. The way you crave his touch and how insatiable you get, the way your head spins and there's nothing but Jimin.

"Um...how do we get home?" You ask as Jimin kisses up your neck, pushing him away with one hand.

"Best to stay in the guest room. Second door on the left." Taemin says this so easily, with his two lovers draped around him, as if this kind of thing happens all the time, and you feel a bit overwhelmed.

Jimin's hands are all over you as you lead him to the bedroom, and your eyes widen at the size of the bed.

Jimin tugs you down onto it before you can marvel too much though, planting hot kisses that almost burn on your collarbone.

"You're so hot," you say, concerned, putting a hand on his face.

"Mmm, you have to fuck it out," he explains, and you choke on air again.

"Or what?"

"Or you die, if you're human. I won't die, probably. Just be really sick for a few days." He mumbles against your skin, not in the least concerned.

"Jiminie, oh no, what do I do? How can I help?"

He's tugging off his shirt and you place a hand on his chest and he moans low in his throat.

Your breath catches, and you wonder if just a simple touch gets that kind of reaction…

"You need to cum," you say throatily, and he gasps, breathing hard.

"Need to fuck you, jagi, oh, please, I'm already so hard it hurts."

He takes your hand and presses it against the crotch of his jeans and lets out this guttural groan that makes your cunt pulse.

It isn't as if you hadn't planned on sex anyway, you had to every few hours, and he's so pretty like this, all flushed and eager.

"Oh fuck, jagi, please please, no one can fuck you like I do, yeah? You wouldn't want anyone else?" He looks so worried that it hurts your heart.

"Jiminie. Of course not. I want you so much, always. I love you."

He lets out a long breath like he'd been holding it, and kisses down your body, shoving your skirt up to your hips, ripping your panties off with ease and making you gasp out a moan when he pushes your legs apart impatiently and latches onto your clit, sucking hard right away, no finesse, no buildup.

"Ah, Jimin," you breathe when he hooks two fingers inside you and you're cumming around them in seconds, worked up.

Jimin peers at you from between your thighs, frowning. "That's not loud enough, jagi."

He trails little bites up your inner thighs, your hip bone, and kisses you hard, grinding against your bare pussy in his jeans.

"I want to fuck you so good everyone in hell knows it," he says, words slow and almost slurred.

You unbutton his jeans and he helps you pull them down, releasing his cock, already dripping precum.

When you wrap your fingers around the base he cries out. "Ah, ah, jagi, fuck, need to…" 

He rolls his hips into your hand and you're fascinated by how he's turning red all over, the tip of his cock, his abdomen, his face.

"What do you want, baby?" You ask softly, and he looks down at you with his lip caught between his teeth, eyes glassy, as if overwhelmed.

You can't help but smile, leaning up to kiss him and you taste something bittersweet on his tongue.

"Wanna fill you up, wanna cum inside you, jagi, wanna mark you everywhere," he babbles into your mouth and you shake your head, pulling away.

"Not yet. One of us needs to be clear headed to get home tomorrow, and if you do that now I'll be as bad off as you are."

Jimin makes a frustrated sound in the back of his throat, but you tug him down to kiss him again, pulling him down to lie next to you.

It'd been a learning experience, dating a succubus, but you'd learned that you could do certain things without losing your capacity for rational thought, and you could put that to use now.

"Don't worry, baby. I'll take care of you." 

Jimin is trembling, making these whiny noises in the back of his throat, his cock twitching against his belly. "Please," he whispers, and when you settle between his legs and lick just the tip of his cock he jerks, throwing his head back.

You can't help but do it again, loving the way he reacts, how the flush covering his body deepens and his hips buck up.

"Jagi, don't tease-" his pleas turn into a long moan when you take him into your mouth, working your tongue against the underside of his cock.

"Oh, oh, fuck, your mouth!" He almost shouts, thrusting into your mouth and making you gag a bit.

"Oh, jagi, I'm gonna cum," he whimpers, and pleasure shoots down your spine at how easily you're able to affect him, even with the hell fruit's help.

It's almost violent, his orgasm, and you milk him with your hand as he writhes beneath you, shooting cum down your throat, so much of it you choke a little.

When you lift your head he leans up to pull you up his body to kiss you slow and lazy, and you sigh in relief to realize he's broken a sweat, his skin cooled just a bit.

He shifts you on top of him and you realize he's still rock hard, pressing against the cleft of your cunt.

Jimin moans, sliding himself against your slick.

"You're so hot and wet, Y/n," he mumbles against your throat, sucking marks there over and over.

"Jimin, again? Already?" 

As an Incubus he had an inhuman refractory period on the best days, but this is ridiculous.

"Want you so bad, jagi, please," he begs, rutting against you. 

You groan, loving the pressure against your aching cunt. "Jimin….we probably shouldn't, yeah?"

"Mmm, I dunno, jagi, it's hard to think," he admits, reaching between you to cup your breasts, dragging his thumbs across your nipples.

You gasp. "I don't want to be as insatiable as you are, not here, not when anyone could hear us."

Jimin moves his hands from your breasts to your ass, rocking you against him.

"Want them to," he mutters, voice low and almost slurred. "Want all of hell to hear you're mine, jagi."

"Yeah?" You moan, the way his cock slides along your clit making you dizzy.

"Mmm, want them all to know what a slut you are for me, how you beg for my cock."

"Nngh, this is a bad idea," you groan, but fuck it, you're among friends even if most of them are lust demons, and you want it, want him so badly you can hardly breathe.

"Yes yes yes," Jimin chants, looking down at your pussy as you lift your hips, and when you slide down onto his cock his head jerks back so hard it thumps against the headboard.

When you rock your hips forward he grabs onto your ass hard, bouncing you on his cock, his mouth slack, this almost feral look on his face and it's so hot that you're near the edge in moments.

You're letting out these little breathy moans and Jimin huffs out a frustrated breath and flips you over, 

His hips slow, harder and with purpose and you hitch in a breath.

"Why are you being so quiet, jagi?" He leans down to bite a mark onto your neck and you let out a wrecked moan, your skin feeling sensitive and hot all over.

"That's better," he says, voice low, and smirks at you. "I've heard you be louder, though, yeah?"

He leans down to take a nipple between your teeth and slides one hand down between you to press his thumb to your clit, pulling almost out of you and then ramming back inside, and you make an inhuman sound as you tumble over the edge, gushing around him, black at the edges of your vision.

Jimin is making this sound almost like a growl and he shouts your name when he cums inside you and as usual, it feels like it heats you from the inside out and you whimper.

He hides his face in your neck, panting.

"I think that's enough for a while, if you want to get some sleep, jagi," he says apologetically, lifting his head.

But it's too late, you're aching with need now, and you latch onto his throat, rolling your hips against him

"But I need you, Jiminie," you whine, head spinning.

"F-fuck," he groans. "Okay, jagi, I got you."

🔥🔥🔥

When you finally come down, your throat is raw and your body aches all over and you have no sense of time, you can't exactly see the sunlight in hell.

Jimin coos at you, at some point after you'd passed out he'd gotten dressed and brought you water and your favorite treat, a slice of cheesecake.

"How are you feeling?" He asks.

It takes you a couple of tries to get the words out. "No more hell fruit," you croak, and he laughs into your mouth when he leans down to kiss you.

[punkscowardschampions]

Amber & Cosmo

Amber: [Okay so my vibe is that she leaves the necklace for him after they’ve done the shopping trip like here’s an old sentimental thing to say thanks for helping me get a new thing and after she’s used Dash’s room to study like also thanks for that, but we’re leaving the envelope under his door/propped against it because he very much didn’t want her to go in his room again lol so he can find it when he gets back from his dad’s]

Cosmo: Does a token mean the ghost likes me?

Amber: I guess you must have managed not to anger the spirits for a while

Amber: impressive

Cosmo: My room also remains intact so, must be true

Amber: I won’t tease you by pretending there are things missing, that’d be too 👶🏽

Cosmo: I don’t have as much shit as he does, I’d notice before I worked out who this necklace is really from

Cosmo: If only there was some subtle hint, like

Amber: If only someone had filled the envelope with ⭐️ to the point it was difficult to close

Cosmo: Your dad is gonna think someone’s been really good

Amber: He knows you have, giving me somewhere quiet to study, though he’d take them all back if I’d told him about 👗 shopping

Cosmo: I’m glad to hear you enjoyed the quiet

Cosmo: and people donate things with tags on all the time, he won’t find out, yeah

Cosmo: You could keep it here but the undeniable ego boost he’d get from thinking he can’t even remember the girl who left it is not happening on my watch

Amber: You really do spend time in a better postcode if you think anyone’s gonna believe a dress like that was donated, it’s the nicest thing I’ve ever owned

Amber: while I own it anyway, it won’t be long before it gets borrowed… but you’re right, that inevitable 💔 for me is better than the maybe of having to overhear to him brag

Cosmo: It’s a good dress

Cosmo: I definitely weren’t saying it wasn’t

Cosmo: You legit have to share everything?

Amber: I know it is, you’d have made a face if I looked stupid

Amber: You put something down, it gets picked up by whoever wants it, there’s nowhere to hide anything

Cosmo: Put it in your school bag

Cosmo: Sounds weird but I bet no one is looking in there for anything

Amber: Less people are wise to that as somewhere to rummage through, it’s definitely worth a try

Cosmo: Now you’ve got no stash, anyway, right

Cosmo: When’d you leave here?

Amber: When did you get back? I tried to time it to just before

Cosmo: You must’ve done a good job

Cosmo: Maybe an hour but I’ve only just come upstairs, I had to talk to my ma first

Amber: I had to finish reading a chapter I’ll need for tomorrow and it wasn’t going in, but I couldn’t let myself be discovered this soon, not by anyone but you

Amber: how was the rest of your weekend?

Cosmo: Your secret is safe with me 👻 girl

Cosmo: We won our Sunday match, so that was good

Cosmo: then we had sunday lunch with my dad’s new girlfriend and her family, that was alright too

Amber: 😁 CONGRATULATIONS!

Amber: did you play 4-2-3-1?

Cosmo: Was that the chapter you were reading up on?

Cosmo: Otherwise, impressive

Amber: But did you? Because according to my research it’s ⭐️

Amber: A LOT of the tactics and why they apparently revolutionized football went over my head, but I remember that formation is really popular because it’s flexible and balances the defensive and attacking aspects

Cosmo: You should talk to our manager

Cosmo: because we didn’t

Cosmo: you really do like learning new things

Amber: Are you unbanning me from matches or practice?

Cosmo: I can’t say I’m just unbanning you from the changing room can I

Amber: maybe check with the rest of the team first

Cosmo: 😂

Cosmo: I didn’t ban you, anyway

Cosmo: I didn’t know you were genuinely interested

Amber: in anything other than how you all look in shorts, you mean

Amber: which part of my first impression made you think I was starved of male attention? Because I’d like to strike it from the record

Cosmo: It was the opposite, if we wanna be honest

Amber: We always wanna be honest

Cosmo: Sometimes there’s no need

Amber: If you didn’t have fun at lunch with your dad’s new girlfriend, that’s a kind lie, but this wouldn’t be

Cosmo: It’s not kind to offer up my opinion when it don’t matter

Amber: it matters enough to you to have formed one

Cosmo: What, you don’t have any opinions on me?

Cosmo: It’s what people do, you can’t help it

Amber: Not about your sex life, because it’s none of my buisiness, and mine wouldn’t be yours if Dash hadn’t gotten you involved in it

Cosmo: Well exactly, you can only base it on what you know

Amber: and you know I slept with your brother once, it isn’t enough to base anything on, because you also know he lied to me

Cosmo: Honestly, forget about it, I shouldn’t have said anything

Amber: All that’s gonna achieve is you carry on thinking the same

Cosmo: It doesn’t matter, you have nothing to prove

Amber: no, I don’t

Cosmo: Sorry

Amber: I can tell you are, it’s okay

Cosmo: I’m not like that

Amber: that’s obvious too, I don’t need crystals or cards to read people

Cosmo: I don’t care or judge you, it’s just what I thought

Cosmo: it wasn’t 👎 or 👍

Amber: Because of the reputation your brother and the commune has or because of me?

Cosmo: I guess it’s mostly because of him

Amber: if I’d met you first you could’ve warned me and neither of us would have to feel like this

Cosmo: I wouldn’t have done that

Cosmo: realistically

Cosmo: you look like his type, even if you actually aren’t

Amber: He obviously thought I was too

Cosmo: I mean the last thing I want is a lecture on polyamory or whatever

Cosmo: and equally the last thing that type appreciates is the warning so

Amber: I’d be the last girl to give you one, my parents’ failed attempts at it are the main reason we move

Cosmo: That’s shit

Cosmo: Whatever your parents love life looks like, shouldn’t affect your life at all

Amber: it’s not a deliberate act of sabotage on their part though, and when I was younger travelling had more upsides than downs, I didn’t really prioritize school and I still don’t know what I wanna do when it’s over anyway

Cosmo: It’s still wrong, whether they meant it or not is irrelevant

Cosmo: Where’d you get the necklace?

Amber: You can't get your wallet out again and offer to buy me another this time, boy

Amber: besides, I want you to have it for what it represents now, not what it used to

Cosmo: Thanks, I appreciate it

Cosmo: I should’ve got you something more than ☕️🥐

Amber: You’ve given me a room of your house

Amber: and secrets, I never get to have those

Cosmo: It’s not any trouble to me

Cosmo: and I’d take anyone over him so

Amber: Oh thanks 😂

Amber: after I’d set you up with the perfect opportunity to give me a compliment…

Cosmo: Can’t catch me out that easy, like

Cosmo: Try harder

Amber: You’re gonna regret saying that

Cosmo: 😏

Cosmo: You ain’t scary and I ain’t, remember

Amber: That’s for your manager to decide when we’ve talked tactics, maybe he’ll think I’m really intimidating

Cosmo: Maybe I’d pay to 👂 & 👀 that

Amber: I won’t ban you from the changing room while it’s happening, don’t worry

Cosmo: I reckon everyone’s thankful for that

Amber: that many pairs of 👂 and 👀 would probably be intimidating for a girl who didn’t live with what feels like 100s

Cosmo: I dunno how you put up with it

Amber: I’ve never lived different

Cosmo: I know

Cosmo: but you can still be annoyed by it

Cosmo: I’ve always had a brother and I still know he’s a dick

Amber: You don’t think I’ve vented to you enough about what annoys me?

Cosmo: You said that one, let the record show

Amber: Because you’re too well mannered to go there

Cosmo: Steady on

Cosmo: Just ‘cos you want a compliment of your own

Amber: so give me one

Amber: 🥺!

Cosmo: Don’t pout at me

Amber: [a pouty selfie ofc]

Cosmo: Dirty tactics

Amber: that's why they didn't work on you

Amber: you like good clean fun

Cosmo: Maybe

Cosmo: not giving a 👍 or 👎

Amber: Unless we're talking about the offside rule, I think I can cope without any tips

Amber: there wasn't a need for a ? now that I've gained a good understanding of what you like

Cosmo: Good’s pushing it

Cosmo: the offside rule you’ll have more luck with

Amber: pushing it if you've stretched the truth when we talked about what you're into, sure

Cosmo: As many questions as you ask, you reckon we’ve covered it all? 🤔

Amber: Because you want me to be wrong for the sake of it or because I really am and there's more you want me to know…

Amber: why are you suggesting we haven't covered it?

Cosmo: I’m suggesting we don’t know each other

Cosmo: not that we need to or have more to cover, like

Amber: You know too much to suggest you don't

Cosmo: Alright, James Bond

Cosmo: I don’t know anything THAT criminal

Amber: I don't do anything that criminal

Cosmo: Now it sounds like you definitely do

Amber: 😂 too bad for you that you don't wanna find out either way

Cosmo: 😏 gutting, yeah

Amber: It would be if you didn't have a head too full of ⚽️ to think about me

Cosmo: You’ll never get one of my mates with that attitude

Amber: I don’t need an in with them, I’ve got one with the manager

Cosmo: An in to…

Cosmo: free 🍊?

Amber: 🎫!

Cosmo: You can come, I’ll get you in

Amber: Your dad though

Cosmo: He can’t come next friendly

Cosmo: plus you’ve got no in with him, there’s not a box

Amber: it’d honestly be hard to concentrate surrounded by 🥂🤵🍾

Cosmo: It’s not the premier league, it’s not that fancy, I swear

Amber: thank god, I’d like to be invited back some other time

Cosmo: That sounds so sarcastic but I’m pretty sure you mean it 😅

Amber: See, I told you, you know me

Cosmo: Maybe my head isn’t all ⚽️

Amber: shh no, I’ll be back on a ban

Cosmo: Only if you piss of your manager friend

Amber: ruining the focus of his ⭐ player would

Cosmo: Alright, I’ll compliment you now

Cosmo: just to get you to stop, obviously

Cosmo: Talking to you hasn’t been awful

Amber: That isn't gonna be enough to stop me, but thanks

Cosmo: I might have to pout in a minute then

Amber: Don't even try it, you've maybe got me beat in any race but that's a contest I know I can win

Cosmo: Just say you don’t wanna see my face

Amber: I barely tried to get you to not try, admit you're a bad loser and you'll cry when I take 🥇

Cosmo: Is reverse-psychology hippie approved?

Cosmo: Seems a bit passive-aggressive to me

Amber: You thinking I'm a ⭐ hippie would mean I have to change my mind about how well you know me

Cosmo: I don’t

Cosmo: and that’s a free accidental compliment for you

Amber: it’s really sweet of you

Amber: [an adorably happy selfie]

Cosmo: Be a gracious winner, will you

Amber: after your 🥺📷 before it’d feel hollow

Cosmo: I can’t compete with that

Amber: because your competitiveness disappears off the pitch?

Cosmo: Not that

Amber: camera shy?

Cosmo: Come on

Amber: compliment shy then

Cosmo: I’m not shy

Cosmo: You know what you look like

Amber: But you can compete with me

Cosmo: Maybe it’s reward enough

Amber: or it’s been too long since anyone told you what you look like

Cosmo: You think I’m starved of female attention?

Cosmo: Interesting

Amber: the right kind, maybe

Cosmo: Maybe

Cosmo: the ‘wrong’ kind gas you up just as much

Amber: it doesn’t feel the same though

Cosmo: true

Amber: When’s the friendly?

Cosmo: [a weekday moment, I think they’re midweek vibes usually, thus making sense why your dad could be busy]

Amber: 😁 I’ll be there!

Cosmo: Me too

Cosmo: Once more and it’ll be a habit

Amber: it won’t cost you anything that time, not sure it even counts

Cosmo: So you’re saying we can have one more time

Amber: I am

Cosmo: Swimming?

Cosmo: It’s the other thing on your list

Amber: it’s something we have in common, a like, because I don’t know how you feel about dancing

Cosmo: I can

Cosmo: I don’t have to lurk by the bar

Amber: how many drinks do you need before you do?

Cosmo: I said I don’t much

Amber: okay, I believe you, you’re not shy and you must like it

Cosmo: Probably not how you like it, or as much

Cosmo: but I don’t feel cringe

Amber: and I won’t have to either, which I would if I was forcing you onto the dance floor against your will

Cosmo: So, what would you prefer?

Amber: If you picked, it’s not ALL about me

Cosmo: Meet me [some beach] at [a crazy early time, potentially before school if we are in school rn]

Amber: [I totally think we should say we are because it fits for the awkward date timeline and I think I mentioned school earlier in the convo because of it being Sunday eve rn]

Amber: I don’t know it but I’ll find it

Cosmo: I forgot you’re new

Cosmo: I can pick you up again, if you’d rather

Amber: that’d give us more time there

Cosmo: The phonebox then

Amber: I don’t mind if it becomes a habitual meeting place

Cosmo: We could both get quite the rep if it did

Amber: no worse than the one I already have

Cosmo: I don’t even think that’s debatable, soz

Cosmo: however sex-positive you wanna be

Cosmo: and footballers involvement with sex workers is long and checkered so yeah, not a good look for me most of all

Amber: okay fine, slightly worse

Cosmo: 😆

Amber: you turn the wrong things into contests, you know

Cosmo: If you were a lad you’d have to think about those things too

Cosmo: especially a lad with things to lose

Amber: I have to think about things that are more likely to actually happen, because I’m not a boy and you are

Amber: reputation is nothing on the threat scale

Cosmo: That works until you’re getting into a car with, and have met up with me on multiple occasions

Cosmo: despite the fact I’m a total stranger, so I doubt the sincerity of your fear

Amber: I never said I made good decisions, or that I was scared of you

Cosmo: I know you don’t

Amber: Hypothetically, I have more to lose, that’s all, because you could easily kill me, especially if you keep holding what I did with your brother over my head

Cosmo: Yeah, that’s what I mean

Cosmo: it’s not more likely I’m a serial killer

Amber: If you don’t like the way I interpret what you say, say it differently

Cosmo: I’ve not expressed any intention to hurt you

Cosmo: I said scandal would kill my career, which is true

Amber: I know, and I’ve said before that I’m not gonna get you involved in anything scandalous

Cosmo: then we’re fine

Amber: we can meet somewhere else if it’s gonna be not fine for you

Cosmo: It won’t be

Cosmo: it’s just that people like you always act like reputation means nothing

Cosmo: It’s everything and it’s a lot of work to maintain a good one

Amber: People like me have it decided for them, I’m not gonna give power to bullshit that isn’t even true

Cosmo: No, that means you’ve not ever tried and you never will

Cosmo: no one is gifted a good reputation, you earn it, you prove yourself

Cosmo: you sit back and cry about your lack of privilege, if you wanted it, you’d go and get it

Amber: Tried to what, change people’s innate bias? Obviously not because it’s inevitable they think those things about me, you said it and you did it

Amber: I look like your brother’s type, you’re waiting for a lecture on polyamory, all that free love bullshit, I shouldn’t have to prove what I’m not like

Cosmo: Why shouldn’t you?

Cosmo: And why wouldn’t you

Cosmo: Who do you think you are that you’re exempt, proving yourself is the only worthwhile thing you could spend your time doing

Cosmo: Not holding yourself back by what people automatically think by never challenging that and acting like that’s their bad

Amber: It is their bad if they don’t challenge it by bothering to get to know people individually

Cosmo: That’s stupid, and unrealistic

Cosmo: You aren’t special

Cosmo: If you don’t offer something to the world no one is ever going to give a shit about you, that is the actual reality we operate in

Cosmo: you’re setting yourself up for more complaining and disappointment by expecting anything different

Amber: I could be special to someone, if we both look deeper than the surface and get to know each other, who I am is what I have to offer the world, that’s the reality

Cosmo: Maybe

Cosmo: You’re gonna meet a handful of people in your life, and you’ll stick with one of them, ‘til it falls apart and then you pick another one

Cosmo: If that’s what you want

Amber: Why wouldn’t I want that?

Cosmo: Loads of reasons

Amber: such as…?

Cosmo: Both aforementioned, you really think out of all the people in the world, you’re going to find the right one

Cosmo: no

Cosmo: and it will end, usually badly

Amber: I think it’s possible and lots of impossible things happen daily anyway

Cosmo: Good luck then, seriously

Amber: that implies I’m just hoping and won’t actually do anything to make sure it doesn’t end badly or the person is right for me

Cosmo: Most people try on both fronts

Cosmo: the numbers don’t lie

Amber: odds get beaten and then the numbers don’t matter

Cosmo: I said good luck and I meant it, for real

Amber: and what you're really saying is drop it now, right?

Cosmo: No but what more do we really need to say on it

Cosmo: go ahead if you’ve got something

Amber: Cynical

Cosmo: I’m realistic

Amber: I'm realistic, you point out the downside

Cosmo: The downside is realistic

Amber: 😂 as is admitting the existence of a plausible upside

Cosmo: I know there is

Cosmo: I’m on the path to mine

Amber: I can't wait to see you play

Cosmo: I’ll try not to disappoint you

Amber: Not gonna happen, we're both realists

Cosmo: Not another thing in common 😏

Amber: We’re not up to 9, you can relax

Cosmo: Tah, like

Cosmo: So, what’s on the agenda for you now?

Amber: feeding the 5000 with my share of meal prep for the week, putting the 🐓 to bed, counting plastic babies ready for my mama's morning drop in session… because I don’t know why but they go missing quicker than 🌿 in this place and there’s never enough for the number of parents who come, maybe it’s 👽

Amber: and finishing the homework I didn't at yours

Amber: What are you gonna be doing?

Cosmo: Well, none of that is anything I would’ve guessed 😅

Cosmo: Maybe the meal prep

Cosmo: I have to do that too, help my ma

Amber: I’m surprised you didn’t guess about the animals, and honestly shocked if you’ve never had any 🐐 visit you

Cosmo: You haven’t looked out the window you’re coming in?

Cosmo: we’ve got our own here, I’d not notice yours from my nans

Amber: I thought you’d be able to tell them apart

Cosmo: Why did you think that? 😂

Amber: you’re pretty observant, I don’t know

Cosmo: Yeah but, hardly on my radar

Amber: but you could tell me apart from the other girls here before I was on your radar

Cosmo: You aren’t a goat

Cosmo: neither of us can count that as a compliment

Amber: I’m gonna, they nearly knock me over all the time, it’s annoying

Cosmo: More annoying than the other girls?

Amber: that’s girl dependent, some of them for sure

Cosmo: I get you

Cosmo: I’ve seen plenty come and go

Amber: Am I the first you’ve spoken to?

Cosmo: Are there still Cavantes there?

Cosmo: Because I have some tenuous connection to them, some of them have spoken to me before

Amber: [list any that could be because I’ve forgotten which Caleb children exist and when lol]

Cosmo: Yeah, those ones [the ones around your age range]

Cosmo: most of them suck

Amber: I can’t argue with you, as much as I know you like it

Cosmo: Nah, you don’t have to pretend they ain’t, is all I’m saying

Cosmo: they’re not family or anything I care about

Amber: I probably wouldn’t have, I don’t have your manners

Cosmo: Yeah, fair enough

Cosmo: Why’d you ask?

Amber: more curiosity, I guess

Cosmo: Not wanting to be ⭐️?

Amber: you don’t believe I’m special, we covered that

Cosmo: I don’t think anyone is

Amber: What about yourself?

Cosmo: You think I’m that dickhead

Cosmo: No one but me

Cosmo: no, obviously not

Amber: I think you must have self belief to do what you’re doing

Cosmo: I believe in hardwork

Cosmo: and luck

Amber: but hard work isn’t all it takes, or anyone could be a ⚽️⭐️

Cosmo: right, that’s the luck

Cosmo: I’ve not earnt it, but if it happens I have to work hard to not waste it

Amber: Why haven’t you earned it? You’ve been working hard since you were a kid

Cosmo: I didn’t earn having a dad who already got his shot

Amber: that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve yours, you’re not your dad

Cosmo: It means I’ve had help loads of people don’t get

Cosmo: that doesn’t make me less deserving any more than it makes them more because they’re the ‘underdog’

Amber: right, but you also have talent lots of people don’t have

Cosmo: Lots of people do too

Amber: okay, but special isn’t a bad word, it’s allowed

Cosmo: I just think it’s bullshit

Amber: it’s just praise

Cosmo: I don’t need it

Amber: doesn’t everyone, sometimes?

Cosmo: Maybe, I really don’t know

Cosmo: achievements works fine for me

Amber: so you’re fine and gonna be fine

Cosmo: What are you saying?

Amber: nothing, what do you want me to be saying?

Cosmo: Just that

Amber: 😶

Cosmo: Go search for the 👶s and 🐓s

Cosmo: and don’t forget your towel

Amber: You’d let me share, no question

Cosmo: I’ve told you the changing room isn’t like that, babe

Amber: I’ll bring my own when I meet you at the gym, your friends don’t have to pout

Cosmo: It’s like you have met them already

Amber: you’ve told me plenty about them, I feel like I’ve got the picture

Cosmo: You think that about me as well

Amber: are you asking me or telling me what you think I think?

Cosmo: You’ve said as much, so I’m just reiterating

Amber: I definitely don’t have your full picture

Cosmo: 🖼

Amber: 👨🏽‍🎨

Cosmo: Is that you or me?

Amber: you still creating yourself, meet me at the phonebox in maybe 70 years and you can give me the full picture

Cosmo: But you’re done already?

Cosmo: bit rude

Amber: I'll never be done but you don't wanna know me like that, boy

Cosmo: Maybe

Amber: you'll remember to keep the date with me when we're old?

Cosmo: If I’m still around, sure

Amber: 👴🏽💪🏽

Amber: you again, absolutely not what I’m gonna be looking like in the future

Cosmo: A serious downgrade 😅

Cosmo: I can’t imagine being that old though

Amber: if you still won’t send me selfies I’ll have no idea what to expect

Cosmo: You’ll have time to get better at stalking

Amber: or asking you politely to do what I want

Cosmo: If you show that much perseverance, I’ll definitely reward it, like

Amber: I'll stay in touch wherever I am in the world, until technology gets too complicated for me and my grandkids refuse to help me flirt with faces from the past

Cosmo: 🤣

Cosmo: they sound ungrateful already

Amber: They're cynics too, it makes sense they would be, where's their granddad in all this? He can't be that special to me if I'm talking about you as the one who got away

Cosmo: Maybe a lifetime of every day does that to a relationship

Cosmo: I’m sure he was special once upon a time

Amber: Are you saying I wouldn't be fun to spend every day with?!

Amber: I won't keep haunting you then

Cosmo: Your husbands the dead one, not you

Amber: you called me a 👻 first, before I had a husband

Cosmo: I also said it wasn’t horrible hanging out with you

Amber: talking to me wasn't, is what you said, but now I know you like hanging out with me too

Cosmo: Damn it 😏

Amber: You kinda gave yourself away on that on the shopping trip anyway, I wasn't looking in the mirror or at 👗 for the FULL hour, I saw you 😏

Cosmo: I weren’t looking at you in the mirror or at you in the dress the whole time either, just FYI

Amber: but we did pick the best, didn’t we? ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️?

Amber: hiding dresses in my school bag can’t become a habit, I need some space for 📚

Cosmo: I’d say 9 going out dresses was excessive but I’m sure the girls I know would think the exact opposite

Amber: I assume they have the wardrobe space I don’t and 🥂🤵🍾 places to go

Cosmo: That’s the goal, anyways

Amber: I only need one if it’s the right one

Cosmo: And it is

Amber: promise it’s not a kind lie?

Cosmo: Cross my heart

Amber: okay, I’ll remove the tags

Cosmo: Remember to recycle for the karma to get back in your favour, yeah

Amber: I could use it to make a really tiny sign supporting you, since you hate praise so much

Cosmo: I don’t hate praise

Amber: that isn’t the impression you’ve given me so far, but maybe you just hate it from me

Cosmo: Maybe I only like it when I’ve earnt it

Amber: When have I tried to give you anything you haven’t earned?

Cosmo: You and me probably have different ideas of when praise has been earnt and when it’s premature

Amber: I don't see why we would, it's quite clear cut when praise has been earned or not, isn't it?

Cosmo: Nah, it’s definitely not

Cosmo: I’m not gonna tell you you’ve been over-praised and start something but I’m sure your parents are quicker with the ⭐️ than most

Amber: You're sure because…?

Cosmo: how you are, it’s quite obvious

Amber: Oh because I have an understanding of my self worth, I'm happy that's obvious

Cosmo: See, you even said that dead cocky

Amber: You're making an assumption, I could've had lots of really supportive friends or boyfriends, or spent every day looking into the mirror giving myself praise

Cosmo: I’m not wrong though

Cosmo: and parental relationships trump those by far in terms of shaping development so double not wrong

Amber: Not wrong just very smug about being right

Cosmo: You’ve taken it as an insult, I didn’t say it as one

Amber: When has cocky ever been used as flattery?

Cosmo: First time for everything… ?

Cosmo: I only called you cocky once you got on the defensive

Amber: if I'm on the defensive it's because the negative traits you think I have are piling up

Cosmo: I didn’t say it was negative, for the 2nd time

Amber: I don't believe you any more than I did the first time

Cosmo: Well I can’t change that now

Amber: My attention's on dolls and chickens anyway

Cosmo: 👍

Amber: You really can't change it, can you?

Cosmo: What do you mean?

Amber: how you are, how these conversations always go

Cosmo: Were you expecting me to?

Cosmo: Sorry to disappoint

Amber: You're not, or the apology would be realer

Cosmo: Because who are you to ask me to change myself

Cosmo: what the fuck

Amber: Who am I to ask you to think before you speak? The person you're talking to

Cosmo: I don’t need to listen to this

Amber: and I don't need you making me feel bad about myself every time we talk because you think I need to be humbled or whatever this is

Cosmo: Why are you still talking to me then

Amber: Because there's a side to you that doesn't make me feel like that

Cosmo: You deserve better than that

Cosmo: and I don’t want to be someone who makes anyone feel like shit

Amber: So try not to be

Cosmo: It’s not that easy

Cosmo: not with you, I don’t know why

Amber: change isn't easy ever, that's where trying comes in, and why I said it instead of telling you to just do it with a please tacked on so it seems less demanding

Cosmo: Or we could admit we’re a poor match

Cosmo: Wouldn’t that be easier for us both, and more sensible as well

Amber: No, you already admitted you like talking to and hanging out with me, which means we can do this

Amber: everything isn't wrong because we've identified a problem area

Cosmo: If you feel like shit I feel like shit

Amber: You're not your brother, it's not that bad between us

Cosmo: It’s not a comparison I need so close to hand

Amber: it's not a comparison

Amber: you sound like you're this close to offering to give me my necklace back when that's the opposite of what you should be doing

Cosmo: Alright

Cosmo: [my vibe is time to go to the phonebox and leave his necklace for her because clearly we shouldn’t see each other rn but that is the opposite]

Cosmo: left something for you

Amber: Where?

Cosmo: Come on

Amber: No, if you say the phonebox it means you’re not coming

Cosmo: I’ve just left

Cosmo: If you want it, it’s there

Amber: This feels like a breakup

Cosmo: It can’t be a breakup

Cosmo: just go to the phonebox, I obviously weren’t coming in

Amber: [do go and get that gal]

Amber: It's not your good luck charm, right? I don’t want it to be my fault you lose your friendly

Cosmo: It isn’t, you’re fine

Cosmo: I don’t have one and I wouldn’t gift you my own bad luck

Amber: thanks for not being upset enough at me to wanna hex me

Cosmo: I definitely haven’t chatted to enough girls there to know where to start

Cosmo: My dad got it for me, when I got my contract and my number

Amber: you’re sure you want me to have it?

Cosmo: I didn’t leave it for the next person who needs to call breakdown services to find

Cosmo: ‘course I do

Amber: I know, but you don’t have to give me anything to try and make up for what I said

Cosmo: I’m not, it’s not like that

Cosmo: You said you didn’t want yours back

Amber: and I don’t, I’m just checking you won’t want yours back when you have time to think about it

Cosmo: put it on and show me?

Amber: oh okay, if it looks stupid you want it back

Amber: [but do obviously]

Cosmo: Yeah, you can keep it

Cosmo: I’m sure

Amber: Are you gonna wear yours?

Cosmo: [send your first selfie back boy]

Amber: you do know how to 🤳🏽!

Cosmo: click and points not beyond my capabilities, yeah

Amber: your secret’s safe with me

Amber: and I won’t be expecting them all the time from now on, you can relax again

Cosmo: I’m sorry

Cosmo: for talking to you like that

Amber: I am too, for pushing you, I can usually communicate better than this

Cosmo: Me too

Cosmo: believe it or not

Cosmo: that’s what I meant, this isn’t how I usually interact with anyone, seriously

Amber: Neither do I and if it was always like that I’d drop it, but yesterday shopping, it wasn’t, I did something I never do but I didn’t once feel 👽

Amber: I have school friends I’ve known for months now that can’t put me that at ease

Cosmo: I know

Cosmo: I’m not going to say you’re imagining it or something

Cosmo: If we really were just incompatible, I’d have found a polite way to tell you by now

Amber: of course you would 😂

Amber: be my friend, please

Cosmo: I can hear the 🥺

Cosmo: You don’t have to ask nice

Cosmo: We can be friends

Amber: I thought I’d give you a break from seeing them

Cosmo: I thought that might be punishment

Amber: I don’t want to

Cosmo: That’s a relief

Cosmo: I know how tough you are

Amber: No you don’t, boy

Cosmo: You can prove it another time

Amber: at the beach?

Cosmo: It will be cold

Amber: I was convinced the necklace meant we weren’t going

Cosmo: No, I just didn’t want to see you RIGHT now

Cosmo: no offence, obviously

Cosmo: it’s just a lot, isn’t it

Cosmo: but we both still like swimming

Amber: I’ve liked it since I was a 👶🏽 you’re not having it in the breakup

Cosmo: 😏 Alright, ‘cos you can’t be claiming your new found love for the game/my income

Cosmo: I’ll have to cope

Amber: give me enough time to work out the offside rule before your next goodbye

Cosmo: It’s not that hard to get your head ‘round, just hard remembering it as you play

Cosmo: I’ll explain it before I go

Amber: if I didn’t have homework to finish I’d let you try now

Cosmo: Can’t say I’ll miss having to do mine

Amber: Do you have to do ⚽️ homework too like dribbling and headers?

Cosmo: I think we just call that training 😂

Cosmo: but yeah you’re in deep shit if you don’t show for that

Amber: pretend I knew that and didn’t make myself look stupid

Cosmo: It’s not stupid, I don’t think I’ve ever heard it put like that though

Cosmo: keeping up your skills and fitness is like homework, when you think about it, but I guess that delegitimizes it being ‘work’

Cosmo: Do teachers call their marking homework? Maybe

Amber: my dad calls it marking but he’s not like my teachers at [whatever the school is called]

Amber: some of them would definitely try and be relatable like that

Cosmo: Ugh, yeah, I can hear that, like

Cosmo: they also get holidays that only school kids get as well though, which they don’t like attention being brought to

Amber: 😂 maybe I’ll draw attention to it when they ask me a question I don’t know the answer to

Cosmo: I didn’t recommend it 😶

Cosmo: can tell your dad though if he gets an attitude about the weed

Amber: He’s forgiven me, I promised to help him do lesson plans and get his students to follow them, they’re all acting like they break up for summer next week

Cosmo: Teacher’s pet makes sense 🍎

Cosmo: glad you sorted it though

Amber: it’s kinda put me off 🌿 maybe my body will be a temple by summer

Cosmo: I know it’s like, meant to be the same as a glass of wine to take the edge off

Cosmo: and I know it could be

Cosmo: but what the fuck is my brother ‘taking the edge’ off of, all day, every day

Cosmo: I don’t care how benign, how ‘harmless’ but how is that any different from drinking or doing any other drug all day?

Amber: I’m not someone he’ll accept an intervention from, but he needs to hear it from somewhere, because you’re right, it’s too much

Cosmo: People have tried

Cosmo: You know how he is

Amber: and he’s not the only one, we both know being here all the time, surrounded by like minded people validates it as though it’s just another part of the daily routine

Cosmo: Yep

Cosmo: I can’t be bothered with him, I really can’t

Cosmo: it’s just infuriating

Amber: What does your dad say? It seems like something he’d have an opinion on…

Cosmo: Yeah he don’t like it

Cosmo: no one would care if he did it as well as doing anything fucking else with his days

Cosmo: he’s just living up to that lazy black boy stereotype, so dad doesn’t love that, of course

Amber: infuriating is a good choice to describe him and how intent he is on wasting his time

Cosmo: Fuck him

Cosmo: he’ll have to grow up eventually

Amber: And he’ll have to stop fucking other people over when I deny him as many easy ways to do it as I can, that’s what punishment from me looks like, FYI

Cosmo: Noted

Cosmo: and suitably impressed, once I see the results, like

Amber: I’ll try not to disappoint you the first time you’ve admitted you could be impressed by me

Cosmo: Shh

Cosmo: Sounds like something a loser would say, not a winner

Amber: 😶

Cosmo: 😁

[deangendered]

18, 25 and 27 for the ask game!!

18. Ideally, what season would have Dean and Cas gotten together?

Hmmm that’s a tough one. Okay. Early s12. Season 12 has a weird (but very fun) bickering married couple vibe from the beginning with absolutely no explanation. I would like it to have an explanation. Here it is:

I’m not touching the reunion hug in front of Mary because that scene is gold. But at some point after that, Dean & Cas get sent to an alternate universe/time and have to work together to get back. For some reason this takes them 5 years. In that time, they get together, have their honeymoon phase, and progress gracefully into the old married couple we see in s12. They return to the time and place they disappeared from, so the season progresses as in canon except Dean backs Cas’s play wrt Kelly and Jack, Cas doesn’t die in 12x23, they raise Jack together, and the rest of the show is full of love and domesticity and all the tension comes from outside threats that they face as a team :)

(P.S. I stopped watching/left the fandom right before s11 so idk how people reacted to the abrupt s12 deancas vibe shift at the time. Would love to know about that if anyone reading this was here then.)

25. Endgame human!Cas or angel!Cas?

Yes thank you I was hoping someone would ask this because I have Thoughts!! Human!Cas endgame, 100%. Post-s15, because I do like angel!Cas initially raising Jack (whether Jack is his canon Just A Guy self or a baby, but especially in versions where he’s a baby). But after a couple years of raising a nephilim and once TFW stops hunting so frequently, I think Cas would be happiest as a human. Here’s why:

He’s always admired humanity and wanted to be more like humans, so I think he’d gladly become human again as long as he knew he’d be supported and it wouldn’t be as miserable as the first time.

He’d make more friends since he'd have to do human things and wouldn’t be busy with supernatural/celestial business all the time. That would be good for him.

Losing his powers would help him focus more on himself and what he wants rather than how he can help the Winchesters.

Sensations! PB&J! Sex! Stronger emotions felt bodily!

Growing old with Dean :’)

If he’s going to spend the vast majority of his time on Earth anyway, it’d be nice to see him feel at home in/connect with his body. He’s a very agender mood rn with how he doesn’t give a fuck and ignores his vessel/body for the most part, but tbh that’s not a great way to live, and it would be nice if he could interact with the world he lives in through a form that’s actually his and that he feels comfortable in rather than having a true form constantly crammed into a vessel. (Yes, it’s more his body than Jimmy’s by now, but it’s still a human form containing an angel, and Cas’s sensations felt through that vessel are muted at best. It’s a thing he owns, it’s a tool he’s wielding. It’s not really a part of him unless he exists in it as a human.) That would also allow him to feel more connected to the world and others that exist on the Earthly plane since he’ll be experiencing it/them more directly. When in Rome...

He’d be able to relate to other humans’ experiences and feelings better. Since he’s in love with one, I think that’d be a priority for him.

27. Which would you rather have addressed in canon: Cas killing countless copies of Dean or Dean's grief each time Cas died?

Dean’s grief, for sure.

I’ve never felt Naomi’s simulation was super important for Dean to know about. Cas communicated something similar when he said “I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You.” Cas rebelled for Dean and told him as much. Plus, you know, the love confession. I think that if Dean doesn’t get how much he matters to Cas by now, he just needs to be told straight up, not shown or given any more examples. As far as addressing the issue further in canon, 8x17 Goodbye Stranger covered that. Dean knows Cas was brainwashed to kill him irl and resisted it.

Dean’s grief, though, Cas is completely oblivious of. Cas has no idea that Dean even cares about him as a person instead of just as a valuable teammate. He starts to get an idea that Dean wants him around from Dean’s purgatory prayer in 15x09, but he’s still able to be incandescently happy about telling Dean he loves him and dying in front of him, and that wouldn’t be possible if he knew that that was going to destroy Dean and lead to his death/passive suicide. Unlike Dean, Cas is going to need more concrete evidence that Dean loves him and that he’s good for more than sacrificing himself every time he gets the chance! Get that angel some self worth!!

I wonder, if they’d had a conversation about Dean’s grief earlier, if 15x18 would have happened the way it did. I think not. But I love 15x18 as a wake up call for Dean and think this conversation is basically inevitable afterward, so I wouldn’t want this topic to be addressed in canon unless it happened in an alternate version of 15x19 or 15x20. Anyway, that’s why we have post-canon fics :)