#I don't want to be trapped here during the winter with them because i think i would lose my grip on the fraying threads of my sanity

[animeyanderelover]

I did something like this before with Dazai but I just sort of redid it again because I was in the mood.

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional mindset, clinginess, touchiness, stalking, paranoia, controlling behavior, manipulation, guilt-tripping, isolation, abduction, pregnancy, C-section, mentions of non-con, Stockholm syndrome, baby-trapping, afab s/o

Tags: @lovley-valentine7 @leveyani @chxxz @shumidehiro @izanami78

Pregnancy Hc’s

Pluto

🐺​You've always wondered if Pluto due to being a Demon Hound would go into rut as well now that apparently he has chosen you as his mate. You remember having done a lot of research on wolves. Now that you are permanently stuck with him in a den filled with clothes and blankets he has stolen from villages to keep you warm, you can't help but feel scared when you see the worst fits of winter slowly passing by and the snow melting. Breeding season is from February to March as you can recall and so you watch with growing caution and worry Pluto's behavior. He's recently acted strange. He always rubs his scent all over you, growls as soon as you dare to leave his vision and has been getting a lot more aggressive and irritated with every living being around his den. You fear the worst as he grows clingier and clingier until one day your worst fears are confirmed when sharp nails rip your old and worn-out clothes from your body as red pupils dilate and you feel his erection rutting against your entrance, irritated that he can't get in before he finally slips into you. He barely separates from you during his rut as he spends his time either breeding you or cuddling next to you protectively.

🐺​You know that he would be the one who would notice your potential pregnancy first due to his enhanced senses and when he soon starts nudging your tummy with a satisfied rumble coming from deep within his chest and starts licking it, you take it as a confirmation that he succeeded in breeding you. You don't take the news well because you know that you have no doctor to visit and no midwife to help you when you'll eventually give birth. You only have Pluto with you who resembles from behavior and intelligence a wolf. You can't help but sob a bit when you realise that you'll have to essentially go through pregnancy and birth all by yourself. Pluto, distressed by your sorrow and stress, starts whining and tries to ease your distress by cuddling himself physically close to you. Obviously he doesn't understand what you are thinking right now or why you are so stressed in the first place. He only knows that he doesn't like to see you so panicked and sad, especially now that you carry pups.

🐺​As the male wolf who sired the offspring developing in your tummy, he grows exponentially more protective as his instincts remind him that he is protector and provider for the mother of his children as well as the babies themselves. He starts hunting animals and even buries them for later. You do your best to light up a fire in here to cook the raw meat or just command Pluto to breathe fire for you, a useful trick you've taught him ever since he abducted you. A part of his brain also recalls occasionally what food you consumed when you were still living in a town and since food is now more important than ever with you gestating his young, he raids towns in his Hound form for food and brings it to you. You don't want to touch food that has been directly touched by his saliva when he spits it out in front of you but you accept canned food which Pluto remembers for his next hunt. Besides his hunt for food and his pursuit of everything that dares to get too close to his den, he spends all of his time wrapped around you. Either in his human or hound form.

🐺​You notice that Pluto is confused when you don't give birth within spring and you assume it's because his kind usually gestates young quicker than a human. He whimpers as he presses his nose and ears confused against your swelling stomach as he looks up at you with concerned eyes. You assume that he can sense that the babies are developing fine inside of you as well as that you are healthy which only leaves him majorly confused. You can't help but wonder if you are still growing faster than a normal pregnant human would or if you are actually expecting more than one because you could swear that your stomach looks bigger than it should be already. The only thing you can do for now is wait though. Pluto grows more protective and anxious the more time passes by as his confusion and unease only grow as you don't give birth as well as seeing you starting to struggle as your belly swells and starts hindering you from moving around as much.

🐺​As soon as you can confirm first movement and you realise how much movement it is, you can only silently confirm that you are definitely carrying more than one baby. When Pluto sees and feels the movement in your belly too, he lets out a few excited howls and starts licking your belly more from that day on to show you as well as the pups inside more affection. You really wish that he could talk like a normal human whenever he presses his ears against your stomach because you think that with his enhanced senses he might even be able to hear the heartbeat of the babies and can count them. You can only leave the den when he is with you and the more pronounced and rounded your stomach becomes, the more he insists that you ride on his hound form so that you don't tire yourself. He ususally remains in hound form as he watches you cleaning yourself in the river, his ears twitching and turning around with every small rustle and sound.

🐺​When autumn arrives and the babies are still not born, his anxiety increases. He frantically starts stealing more food as well as clothes and blankets for you to prepare for winter. He's often wrapping himself around you in his hound form nowadays to keep you and your big belly all the time warm. You expect to give birth soon as you have done the basic calculation and at this rate you can't wait as your stomach has gotten so huge. Your labor starts and your water breaks in early winter as you spend hours upon hours with contractions. Pluto is emotionally just as distraught as you are as he cries and whimpers, licking your sweaty head as he tries to comfort and encourage you as you birth his kids. Nearly a day filled with pain later, you've given birth to three boys, all with his silver hair. If he'd have a tail right now, it would wag like crazy as he lets out what you assume are excited barks as he tenderly chews off their umbilical cord and licks them clean before he carefully pushes all of them against your chest. He pulls a few stolen blankets over his new family before turning into his hound form and wrapping himself protectively around his mate and freshly born litter.

Snake

⚕️​Snake is a hybrid himself so chances of him experiencing something akin to mating season aren't unlikely. It will probably not be as strong with Snake who is normally always a more shy and insecure around you but there is an intense need for him during such periods to mate with you and breed. He is conscious of his sexual urges though and generally tries to avoid you during such times. He doesn't want to force the sexual act on you even if all of his snakes try to coax him into believing that he shouldn't resist his nature. Snake refuses though even if temptation is sometimes very strong when he feels the warmth of your body on his skin as his pupils go from their ususal slits to growing, black orbs as he feels his desire flaring up hotly inside his body. Sex during this period of time is rougher as the normally more submissive male becomes more dominate, although he tries to be more careful with you despite essentially being in heat.

⚕️​As he eventually calms down from his heat and returns to his normal self, although highly ashamed and apologetic afterwards, his snakes and him soon sense that he has succeeded in what his heat-addled brain wanted to do. You're pregnant. He doesn't know how he should tell you and hesitates for a while. Snake is terrified that you'll be angry with him for impregnating you and also worries that you might reject the child to whom he seems to already form an attachment to. His golden eyes often focus on your stomach as he grows more protective and starts following you around more often. His snakes seem to try to tell you what Snake hesitates to speak out as they wrap themselves around your stomach protectively to protect the precious life inside. You can tell that something is going on but Snake still can't speak up. So far no one besides Sebastian seems to have caught on, the butler telling Snake in an amused tone that he should tell you soon as you are already suspicious.

⚕️​He apologizes as soon as he has told you and you can see that he is visibly anxious and nervous for your reaction. At this point you've had your own suspicions already as your period has been late and you've started to experience some typical symptoms like a change of smell. You are a bit unsure because this pregnancy wasn't fully planned even if you were aware of Snake's intentions when you agreed to have sex with him during his heat but you also don't hate the baby and just decide to raise it together with him. Snake is visibly relieved when he hears your answer as his eyes water a bit. He's shaking a bit when he hugs you because he is excited, nervous and anxious all at the same time. Snake seems to be a bit unwilling to share the news initially with Ciel and all the other human servants as he is quite protective but he knows that it's necessary so he soon tells the Earl of Phantomhive about the fact that you're expecting. When Mey-Rin, Bardroy and Finny find out, they're busily congratulating him as well as suggesting names for the baby, even arguing over it.

⚕️​Snake feels increasingly more uneasy and worried whenever he has to leave you alone so to not feel as anxious, he always leaves a few of his snakes in your company. All of his animal friends gladly do him the favor of looking out and guarding you and there is always at least one poisonous among those who stay with you. Just to be completely sure that nothing happens to you whilst you are pregnant. So you end up always having one snake gently wrapped around your neck whilst the other one is wrapped around your stomach for as long as it is still possible. Snake gets all flustered when you slowly start developing a baby bump, his hands trembling slightly when he touches your tummy with his hands carefully as if afraid that even the slightest touch could harm the precious life inside. He's more warily than ever when he brings you over to the mansion because all other servants, besides Sebastian, have been kind of asking him if he could let you visit. His snakes have been against it, it's only because you wanted to come over that he yields. He's still cautious and stays alerted because he knows that the servants in this mansion can be quite clumsy and he wouldn't want anything to harm you.

⚕️​He has been sensing it for kind of a while now and his snakes have been too but Snake waits for a while to confirm his suspicion as your stomach swells with new life until the first kicks eventually happen. It's then that he can confirm that he has been sensing two lives within you and all of his snakes have done so too. He looks anxious when he tells you this because one child is already such a big responsibility. Two at once is even bigger of a responsibility though and he can't help but worry even if he is also equally as excited. At one point your stomach gets too big for some of his snakes to comfortably wrap around so instead they curl themselves over your stomach comfortably as soon as you sit down or lay in bed. You notice that they are often hissing, their tongue flipping out as their head moves closer to your stretched skin. Snake informs you that they're communicating with the babies inside your stomach and often translates to you what they're saying. Both of you actually wonder if the babies will also be able to understand snakes like he does and judging from the increased movements whenever a snake is talking to them, you like to imagine that they do.

⚕️​As happy as Snake is, he's also more prone to insecurities. He's worried that his children might also be made anomalies due to him being their father. He manages to convince Ciel with the huge support of the other free human servants to be given some time off when you approach your due date. He rejects the offer that you could come over to his mansion and give birth in his room as he wants his solitude with you when your water breaks as he prefers to stay in your house. He does accept the offer of letting a midwife stay with you now that you're so incredibly close. He definitely reaches the peak of his protective behavior in those final days when him and his snakes can all sense that it could happen anyday now as he barely leaves you out of his sight. He's not leaving your sight, clutching your hand tightly in his own as soon as your contractions start as if he's the one in need of support, golden eyes observing sharply the midwife from time to time too. You give birth to one boy and one girl and they're surrounded by all of his snakes instantly, the animals determined to protect both of those children. They have some scales littering a few parts of their body but he doesn't care as he tears up when he sees how cute they are.

Dazai Osamu

🤎Dazai wants to start a family with his darling at one point and he has always been hinting at this. Whenever he sees a young family when he’s walking around with you, he jokingly asks you how your children would be if you would have a few. As soon as he sees a pregnant person walking around, he tells you that you’d probably look very cute with a pronounced baby bump that would make you waddle wherever you go and would force you to rely on him for a lot of things. He says all of those things with a harmless and teasing smile on his face yet he also gauges your reaction to his words very closely, brown eyes observing every twitch of your mouth and eyes. Perhaps it would be best for you to have nothing against the thought of children because otherwise you might be succumbed to his manipulation and gaslighting. Jokes eventually turn serious as Dazai makes it clear to you that he desires a child with you, his own hands gently grasping your own as he presses his forehead against your own. Don't you want it too? Leaving a physical trace of your love and adoration on this earth even after your death in form of a sweet child?

🤎​Perhaps you should have expected this outcome even if you yourself never desired a child to begin with. As your period doesn't come and as you slowly start experiencing symptoms such as cravings, a suden change in smell as well as nausea you can feel his eyes trailing after you. It's like he has been waiting for signs of pregnancy from you and now that you experience those changes, Dazai starts feeling extremely giddy. He soon goes out to run an errand and asks you to wait for him at home before he leaves, giving you a quick kiss before he does so. When he returns, he has bought a few pregnancy tests and asks you excitedly to take them. He waits in front of the bathroom, although he knocks on the door every few seconds to ask if he can come inside now. As soon as you allow him, both of you wait for the results. When two red lines appear on all of them and confirm that you are indeed expecting, he starts to let out a genuinely happy and excited laugh. Arms wrap gently around your waist and you feel warm lips travel all over your face before he starts spinning and swaying you around whilst humming happily.

🤎​Dazai decides to keep it a secret from everyone in his workplace for now and is especially more careful to keep the news away from the Port Mafia. He is no fool, he is aware that at one point they will find out. For now though he just wants to enjoy this special time with you whilst also preparing for the baby. For the first time in a while he seems to become conscious of his own life lifestyle and suddenly he does a 180 now that he knows that a baby will soon live here. Dazai starts cleaning everything, clothes and other stuff that used to lay everywhere randomly is sorted away because he doesn't want you to trip over it. He even makes a list what he needs to buy but he still likes to make spontanous decisions as he goes out with you, a hand always wrapped around you as the both of you buy a crib, diapers and choose babyclothes together. He discovers his fervor as he buys everything even if it threatens to tear a hole in his wallet. Both of you find quickly out during an appointment with a doctor that you are actually having twins and he couldn't be more happy as he showers you in kisses as soon as the news are out. So that means that he can name one child and you can name one too.

🤎​He always keeps a picture of the ultrasound pictures in his wallet and whenever he has the time, he just stares fondly at the two little babies in your womb. This is what he'll soon protect and have in his life. He has had his hands on your stomach and even talked to the babies before you were showing but as soon as you start developing a baby bump, he glues himself even more to your side. Hands are always rubbing over your swelling tummy as he all but dotes on you and his two babies. As soon as you are in your second trimester he becomes especially touchy as he eagerly awaits the first kicks of his precious children. It's probably around this time that the other members of the ADA find out about your pregnancy. It's either that they caught him staring at the ultrasound pictures or that Yosano caught sight of the two of you during her shopping trips and connected the dots quickly when she saw your growing belly. Initially his reactions are more careful when all members find out and congratulate him but eventually he becomes more open and starts gushing about how precious and adorable you are with your baby bump and how he can't wait for the babies to be born.

🤎​Dazai starts taking pictures of you at one point too because he wants to capture how beautiful and motherly you start looking the bigger you start to grow and is all but cooing and doting on you during this time as you slowly start struggling with the size of your belly. Dazai on the other hand truly starts blossoming as your situation as well as his babies motivate him to take better care of himself because you and the babies need him to take care of them. He helps you with all tasks that start to become more straining for you, he cleans the house, does the laundry and even starts to pick up some meals to cook so that he can prepare them for you as well as for the babies at one point. He always insists to spoonfeed you whenever he cooks something for you, all excited for you to try them. He does keep you on a diet appropriate for your pregnancy but at one time he starts to become so putty in your hands the further along you are that he starts stocking the food that you start craving a lot whilst you are carrying his twins.

🤎​He is constantly torn apart between wanting to know the gender of his babies and wanting to keep it a surprise. There were multiple times during appointments with the doctor where he wanted to ask or even at home when he already had his phone in his hands and was about to call them only to change his mind in the last moment. He takes some time off from his work in your last weeks as he yearns to spend those last few weeks with you. It'll be the last time for a long time that both of you will be alone after all. He savors the last bit of your pregnancy, his hands and lips cherishing your big tummy as he spends every waking hour with you. When your labor starts, he decides to wait as he packs everything he thinks you two might need for the hospital all whilst giving you soft kisses in between whenever you feel a contraction. When your contractions come in certain time intervals, he drives with you to the hospital and then he stays there with you, his hand rubbing over your stomach as he asks the twins to not give you too much of a hard time and that he can't wait to meet them. His eyes are filled with nothing but love as soon as you give birth to his daughter and his son as he admires his new family.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

🍎​Fyodor has never mentioned anything about children to you for as long as you can remember. And honestly, with the situation you are in with him you have never had the time nor the care to ask him what his opinion of children is. Until Fyodor succeeds in invading your heart and mind and you stop caring about about everything else that isn't him either. Your days from that day on are spend with Fyodor being much more gentle and affectionate with you although sometimes he just needs to ignite the sadistic spark inside of him and see you in pain only to kiss the pain better afterwards whilst uttering sweet nothings to you. You've completely forgotten about thoughts of a child until one day he suddenly brings it up to you whilst you are placed on his lap, his lips brushing against your ear as he asks you how you'd feel about a child. You're a bit surprised but eventually you tell him that you wouldn't mind having a child with him. He gives you a small smile as he replies that he's glad to hear this as you feel one of his cold hands resting on your stomach.

🍎​You realise a few weeks later that he must have already known at that time that you were expecting as you are hunched over the toilet again, Fyodor behind you as he caresses your back and your shoulders whilst you throw up. He's sure that it must be uncomfortable but he hopes that you'll get used to it since this might happen more often now that you carry his child. You've already asked him a couple of times before if the child was intended from his side or if it was an accident. All you always get from him is this mysterious smile and a gentle kiss somewhere on your head as he tells you in a low tone that he's happy and that is all that matters. He quickly arranges everything for you and the child. Fyodor can't risk anyone tracking you back to him and possibly go after you now that you are carrying his baby but he is generous enough to know that it would be wiser to have medics assisting you and helping you, especially once you'll give birth to his baby. He's very picky though as he chooses a selected few doctors and midwives to do the ultrasounds and to cater to your and your baby's needs as soon as he has to drive you to the hospital.

🍎​His hands caress your stomach gingerly as soon as you start showing as he even starts occasionally talking to the baby, mainly in Russian. He's given you already a nickname in Russian and he gives one to the child inside of you too and always addresses the baby by his chosen pet name when he talks to your stomach. Fyodor wants to find out the gender of the baby soon though so as soon as it is possible to find the sex of the baby out through the ultrasound, he asks the doctor to tell the both of you. A small smile appears on his face when he hears that he'll have a little daughter, his eyes twinkling with pride and fondness whenever he touches your stomach from that point on and talks gently with his litte girl. His sadistic desires completely vanish during your pregnancy because he would never be so cruel to hurt you whilst you carry something so small and pure inside of you. This little girl is a gift from god after all, physical proof that both of you are bound together.

🍎​The whole nursery is colored in white and light blue and you don't get much of a say in it. White is the color of purity after all and his daughter will be born pure. She'll be a precious and innocent child, born without any sin tainting her. And light blue to symbolize the clear and blue sky on a day without any clouds hiding it from the human's eyes. The further along you are, the more Fyodor tries to make more time for you instead of spending it scheming and planning his crimes or wasting hours in front of multiple screens. Even whilst he is working, he always has one screen showing him live footage of a camera he has set up in your room for safety. Sometimes he forgets about his work as he instead admires you through the screen. His admiration for his darling definitely grows during the pregnancy. It's so beautiful to see how your body adjusts and prepares for his daughter you grow and nurture inside of you. You are so breathtaking as your belly swells with child and your breasts slowly inflate with milk to nurse the baby as soon as she is born.

🍎​The man finds himself low-key starting to worship you and your body as you grow with his child and he admits to you so as he whispers words of affirmation and praises into your ears whenever his arms are wrapped around you gingerly and his hands rub over your stomach soothingly. He has a smug and content grin on his face whenever you tell him that the little girl starts kicking and moving around inside of you whenever he starts talking Russion to her as if she reacts to his voice and his words as his hands instantly rest on your bump to feel her little feet and hands. He always tells you in an almost teasing voice that he's just starting very early to teach her his mother tongue, glad that she seems to react so strongly to him speaking in Russian to her. He chooses a couple of different names for his daughter, all in Russian as well and all of them have some meaning including purity or God in it. He tells you about those names he has chosen so far and asks you which name sounds prettiest to you. You tell him your honest answer although you don't know if he'll actually consider your answer.

🍎​He removes himself completely from all of his work when your due date is getting close as he spends all of his time from that point on with you. His purple eyes are always on you as he watches for any sign that you might experience the first signs of early labor. Similar to Dazai, Fyodor decides to wait for a while until your contractions are coming within a certain time. You spend early labor with him as both of you pack everything he thinks you might need whilst in the hospital whilst he softly assures you that even if what is to come might be scary and will be painful, it's the last and ultimate act you have to do in order to bring your beautiful daughter into this world. He has booked a private room for you as soon as he brings you to the hospital because he doesn't want too many people around you and his newborn daughter as soon as she is born. There's only the midwife occasionally checking how far you are dilated, otherwise you are left alone with Fyodor who soothes you as good as he can until they tell you that it's time to push. Fyodor tells them to leave as soon as the baby is safely delivered and cleaned, his eyes focused on his daughter as he tenderly caresses her head.

Jouno Saigiku

♦️​Here you are, permanently imprisoned as the government has taken you under special protectionall because Jouno has asked them to do him a favor. You know that this is in reality just a more civilized abduction but no one gives you any help as you are stuck as Saigiku's lover, a doll who can do nothing but wait for him to return from any missions or other business he had to attend to and hope that he won't be in any sadistic mood. You never even thought of any children and you honestly get chills when you think about Saigiku being father to a child, especially if it should be your own. You don't even think that he would want any children if you would have to make a guess based on his possessive behavior he exhibits around you. You barely take notice when your period is a bit late because it wouldn't be your first time that you've missed your menstruation due to the stress you've felt ever since you've been taken. You don't assume anything, not until you see Saigiku's frown as his head tilts into the direction of your stomach.

♦️​You can only freeze in shock and confusion when he suddenly leans down and presses his ear against your stomach and before you can even attempt to ask what has suddenly gotten into him, he hushes you as he starts focusing on something. You see his normally smug and composed exterior fading as you see surprise, then shock and eventually unease all appearing on his face before he pulls away. He furrows, appears conflicted before he asks you when you've last had your period and it's his question that makes you realise that you've been quite late by now. You want to ask him why he wants to know before your breath gets caught in your throat as you connect the dots and Jouno can hear that you've caught onto why he asked this. He instantly makes an appointment with the doctor and not too long after he gets the confirmation of what he already knew. You're pregnant, the embryo already having a heartbeat which he is able to detect now. There is a thick silence as soon as the news are out and you look anxiously at Jouno who seems to contemplate the situation right now.

♦️​You're surprised when he actually asks you of your opinion on the pregnancy and since he would be able to tell if you would have lied or not anyways, you decide to give him an honest answer. You aren't sure how to feel about this. He seems to think the situation through for the next few days, the second heartbeat he can pick up when he is around you a constant reminder of what is going on inside of you. Eventually he makes the decision to keep the child. You don't know if he would force you to keep the baby even if you were against it but you are still unsure to make up your mind about the situation so whilst you aren't distraught when he announces his decision to you, you also aren't thrilled. Saigiku lets out a sigh when he picks up on your hesitance, one of his hands ruffling your hair gently. He knows that this wasn't the plan but now that this surprise happened you two might as well just make the best of it. He takes your hesitance over any hatred directed against your child though. Jouno just hopes that you'll have made up your mind by the time the child is born. He trusts you to make the right decision.

♦️​He would like for this to remain a secret but the other Hunting Dogs find out far too soon for his taste. Fukuchi congratulates him as he pats Saigiku on his shoulder, Teruko is having a laugh imagining Jouno with a toddler whilst Tetchou and Tachibana fret for the way the baby will be raised by Saigiku. Whilst Tachibana at least keeps quiet about it even if Jouno can still pick up clearly on his emotions, Tetchou is a bit more blunt as he openly admits that he is a bit concerned for how Jouno plans to raise his child. Saigiku can only feel his temper rising as this is the precise reason why he wanted to keep your pregnancy hidden for a while longer. How dare he to question his abilities to take care and look out for his own child? Fukuchi stops the two of them before anything grand might happen as Jouno leaves, fuming on the inside. What is probably even worse is that he knows exactly that you think the same way Tetchou does so when he visits you shortly after his argument with Tetchou, he feels the need to make it very clear to you that he wouldn't harm his own child. Honestly, for what kind of sociopath do you take him to even consider such a thing?

♦️​You have regular appointments with the doctor to make sure that the baby as well as you yourself are both fine. Truthfully though, Jouno is playing partially a medic too. His enhanced senses to cancel out his blindness cause him to pay very close attention to everything he can pick up. He listens closely to the heartbeat of the baby as it grows stronger and stronger each week and seems a lot more concerned as soon as he notices that you're stressed or anxious. Whenever he notices that your emotions go a bit haywire he quickly walks to you, asking you with a frown on his face if something is wrong. He wouldn't want you to stress yourself too much since it might be bad for the baby as he starts refraining from hurting or scaring you during your pregnancy. He becomes very touchy with you because of his blindness. He can't see you growing round and looking all adorable and he would lie if he would say that he isn't a bit upset about it so instead he feels your pregnancy. His hands are often on your stomach, slowly running over the surface to feel how much you've grown since last week and to imagine what you might look like now.

♦️Since the pregnancy was already a surprise he decides the sex might as well be a surprise until birth as well. He gets some time off before your due date as requested by him and Fukuchi who insists that he gets some time with his new family. Everything is ready by now. From the nursery to the people who will assist you the moment your water breaks as he tells you that you can't just go into a public hospital like this now that you're under his protection and carry his child. You'll have your own special room just for yourself and your own team. Your little daughter isn't born the natural way though as you experience stalled labor throughout the process and suddenly stop progressing as you stop dilating. You decide to wait for a while yet as you still experience contractions without dilating further, the doctor advices that a C-section might be an option and Jouno agrees as he's worried for you and his child. She's still born healthy though as Jouno gets to hold her first, listening to her gentle breath and the sound of her heartbeat. His fingers trace tenderly over her face, trying to imagine what she looks like before he hands her over to you and asks you to describe her to him.

Sigma

☁️​Sigma is a person who just came like this into existence by being written into the Book without any way to ever find a reason why he came into existence anyways. He has found his purpose ever since then in you as he has made it his whole point to exist to look after you and to protect you. You are his purpose in life so he can't allow you under any circumstances to leave him which has led you to be permanently stuck in the Sky Casino and even all the gifts and riches he gets you don't do any good yet he still does his best to appease and please you in any way he can. Sigma as the one who has dedicated his entire existence to you will be relatively quick to notice the small changes occuring in you. He notices how you suddenly crave food you've never particularly liked before, he notices how you're suddenly more sensitive around certain smells as well as some headaches. He frets about your health as he wonders what might be wrong with you but it is you who one day approaches him to tell him in a serious tone that you're quite late for your period and that is when he realises what is wrong. It's something he didn't really want to consider.

☁️​You can't help but wonder that it should be the other way around as you can see Sigma's whole face twist in fear, anxiety and stress as his eyes widen, his heart starts beating out of his chest and his breath quickening. He looks like he is about to have a meltdown and a panic attack so you try to calm him down as he clutches onto you as soon as he feels your warmth, his palms and forehead covered in cold sweat as you help him to regulate his breathing. As soon as he has regained some semblance of composure he apologizes frantically to you. He-he had no intention to get you pregnant! He's so sorry he should have been more careful with protection! You try to put a stop to his anxious rambling as you inform him that you aren't angry with him or anything. He still apologizes as he informs you that he'll arrange you an abortion if you desire one. You tilt your head at him as you ask him what he actually wants and he insists that he'll do whatever you want him to do in this situation. You fall silent as you consider everything before you tell him that you'd like to keep the child. You see him swallowing nervously as he purses his lips but he eventually gives you a nod.

☁️​He spends entire nights reading through every file and online article he can find about pregnancy and memorizes everything in there. From development of the child to the changes your body will undergo to what he can do to make this pregnancy as easy as possible for you. Honestly, he knew before all of this very loosely that unprotected sex would lead to pregnancy but he can't help but be shocked and even slightly disturbed as he reads through everything. The thought of growing an entire life within your womb is so strange but he wasn't exactly created the normal way so perhaps that's why he finds this all so foreign. He insists on knowing the sex of the baby as early as possible as he assigns a few medics to monitor your pregnancy. He needs to order and prepare a nursery after all and instead of constantly second-guessing everything he wants to have delivered, he just wants to know the sex of the baby as early as possible. He still second-guesses everything though because he wants it to be perfect for you and the child so you end up helping him to choose, literally meaning that you say what you like and he buys it without giving his own opinion. Your opinion matters after all.

☁️​It's kind of cute when he randomly tells you how big your son is right now if he would be a fruit and what he is already capable of doing within your womb. He's been still somewhat in denial and disbelief up until a certain point that he has gotten you pregnant yet the reality of the situation crashes down onto Sigma when he notices that you start developing a baby bump. He just stares and stares and stares as you start to grow bigger as if still thinking that he is hallucinating yet he can't deny that he's curious. How does your stomach feel now that you're carrying a baby inside of you? He always wonders but never asks. Not until you yourself take it upon yourself to invite him to touch your belly as you have noticed those curious eyes on your belly for a while now. He asks you if he really can before he carefully touches your tummy, amazed by it's roundness and firmess. You find his fascination with your belly cute though. Sigma is perhaps a bit strict with your diet and activity though as he has only the advice of the doctor and the advice online to trust so he is a tad bit controlling because he really doesn't want anything to happen to you whilst you're pregnant.

☁️​He's initially bewildered but then quickly intrigued when the baby starts kicking around inside of you. Honestly, he is admiring you for growing another human being inside of you whilst enduring the changes that come with it and the further you are along, the more protective and paranoid he becomes. He's constantly checking the cameras in your room to see how you're doing only to pause and always get so fascinated when he sees how big you have grown already. The more you start swelling and the less foreign and strange the concept of you being pregnant with his child becomes, the more another feeling starts blossoming inside of Sigma. He starts feeling an attachment to his son you're carrying as he starts feeling responsible. Responsible to protect him, cherish him and raise him well. He's going to be a father to your child and as much as this knowledge stresses him, it also makes his heart pound in excitement as he realises that his son will be one more reason and justification for his existence. Sigma will have another purpose to exist as soon as his child gets born.

☁️​Besides a few chosen people who Sigma closely monitors, no one else finds out about your pregnancy though. Sigma is too anxious to let anyone else know about it. He's counting days and hours the closer your due date gets as he simultanously worries and marvels over how much you've swollen and changed with his baby developing inside of you and he tries his best to alleviate you of any pressure and pain you might feel by giving you a massage or doing anything you want him to do. He tries and fails to keep his composure the moment your water breaks as he instantly cancels all of his work to instead spend it with you and tells all guards to not let anyone get close to your room. He's sweating, he's hyperventilating and he feels like he's about to suffer a mental breakdown as he watches you going through labor. He's constantly fearing for the worst yet luckily he is disappointed when his boy is born healthy. You fall asleep soon after you've given birth which leaves him pacing back and forth in the room with his son in his arms as he is unable to sit still. His eyes constantly go back and forth between you and the baby, hoping that you'll soon wake up before glancing down amazed at the baby he created.

[imtrashraccoon]

Hello everyone!

Next Day

A month ago I saw a post by @scrambledmeggys (I hope you don't mind me tagging you!) for a month's worth of prompts for Self Shipping with UF! Papyrus. I originally wanted to try my hand at art but I am much better at writing imo, so here is what I've come up with so far!

I missed Day 1 so now I'm uploading that and Day 2 at the same time. I'm planning on continuing to write a continuous storyline with these prompts but I am pretty much making things up as I go lol.

Edit: I actually drew something for this chapter here if you want to check it out!

Day 1: First Meeting

You walked carefully through the snow, cringing slightly from the loud crunching sound it made, interrupting the otherwise quiet winter morning.

You were in a tough spot to say the least.

The fall had been an accident. One moment, your little friend was innocently kicking stones down the sink hole, and the next, they'd slipped and fell in. Of course, you'd tried your hardest to catch them but then you lost your balance and plunged in after them.

Against all odds, you'd both survived the fall. While your friend had thankfully only sustained a few small cuts, especially because you managed to shield them from the impact, you on the other hand had hit your head pretty hard. The bleeding had stopped by now but you still felt weak and rather lightheaded.

Still, you had to keep going. You had to find a way to get Frisk back to the surface. They were still a child, barely six, and had their whole life ahead of them afterall.

Speaking of, Frisk lightly tapped your shoulder and you paused so they could tell you what was on their mind. Shifting them from your back around your body until you were facing them, you flashed them a small smile.

"What happened?" you asked quietly.

Frisk's face reflexively screwed up. "You died again..." they signed slowly.

Your smile fell. "I'm sorry..." you murmured and let out a sigh.

You didn't understand how or why, but ever since falling down here, Frisk had seemingly developed an amazing power that allowed them to reset time to previous safe points. They didn't really know how to explain it but they claimed it was sort of like reloading a video game.

You didn't know how many times you'd apparently died so far, as Frisk hadn't been keeping track. You were instead focusing on doing your best to keep moving forward. Still, you were pretty concerned for them.

While you didn't remember any of your deaths up to this point, you knew Frisk did and while neither of you was discussing it, you knew this was something that would need to be dealt with. Once you got back to the surface, you would need to get therapy and figure out how to do the same for Frisk. They would definitely benefit from it at least.

Frisk patted your shoulder and you realized you'd zoned out. "It's alright, I'm getting used to it." They smiled but you knew it was a forced one.

"I promise I will keep you safe. No matter what happens, we will get through this together," you said.

Frisk nodded and their expression took on a more determined look.

You took a deep breath. "Let's do this again then," you muttered and started to shift Frisk back into a piggyback hold.

"Watch out for the skeleton up ahead," Frisk signed before wrapping their arms around your shoulders again.

You raised an eyebrow. Was that who'd killed you? Frisk hadn't elaborated further but you didn't blame them. You'd died a couple times to the traps in the Ruins and many times during your escape from Toriel. Many of those had apparently been pretty grisly if how shaken Frisk had been afterwards was any indication.

< ~ - . - ~ >

Someone was stalking you. While you were trying not to think about it, you were getting pretty anxious. Frisk hadn't said anything else so you just focused on continuing forwards.

Until you came to a narrow bridge with wooden bars across it that is. While you could still get through the gap between the bars with little effort, before you could do so, you heard footsteps approaching from behind you.

Frisk tightened their hold on your shoulders and you quickly turned around to put yourself between them and this new person.

It was a skeleton but not quite like what human skeletons looked like. He was only slightly taller than you were, but his bones seemed thicker and sturdier which gave him quite a bit of added bulk.

He was wearing a gray hoodie with a fur fringe, a red turtle neck sweater underneath, a pair of basketball shorts, and a pair of high tops. His smile was filled with sharp teeth, one of which was gold, and there was a pair of crimson pinpricks in his otherwise empty eye sockets that regarded you suspiciously.

"well, well, what have we here?" he drawled as his eyelights flickered over your body.

You narrowed your eyes in response, feeling a wave of disgust at the way he was eyeing you up. "My eyes are up here, thank you very much," you muttered through grit teeth.

The skeleton chuckled, "ah, my bad." He held out his right hand and added, "name's sans, sans the skeleton. and you are?"

Before you could actually shake his hand though, Frisk squeezed your shoulder. You assumed they were warning you not to, so you didn't.

"Rihanna," you said in response.

Sans raised a bonebrow when you left him hanging but seemed ultimately unbothered, which was a relief. "i'd say it's nice to meet ya, but that'd be a lie," he said and flashed a slightly menacing grin at you.

If you weren't holding Frisk, you would've crossed your arms, so instead you just gave him an unamused look.

Sans chuckled and started to walk around you, "ya know, i'm supposed to be on the look out for humans right now, but i don't really care about capturin' anyone."

You remained facing him as he walked until you'd essentially swapped places. You held Frisk a bit closer as well, just in case you'd have to run.

"now my brother, Papyrus, well, he's a human huntin' fanatic," Sans continued. He glanced through the wooden fence and added, "go on through, he made the bars too wide to stop anyone anyways." He turned and strode casually across the bridge as if to demonstrate.

You glanced at Frisk over your shoulder and they nodded. Well, at least he didn't seem like he wanted to immediately kill you like most monsters you'd met so far. So you followed him, although you maintained a safe distance just to be on the safe side.

Sans paused near a wooden booth up ahead and looked further down the path. As you walked over to him, he made a quiet "huh" sound. "ya know what, i think that's my brother comin' this way now..." There was a slightly amused tinge to the tone of his voice as he spoke which sent a wave of irritation through you.

You glanced over where he was looking and immediately spotted a tall skeleton wearing black armour with red accents approaching. Even from this distance, you could tell he was pissed and it sent a shiver down your spine.

Frisk squirmed in your grip to be let down and while you didn't want to let go of them, you relented and let go. They thankfully stayed behind you and clutched onto one of your pant legs.

You knelt down next to them and ruffled their fluffy hair a little. Flashing them a small smile, you whispered, "We doing this?"

Frisk got a familiar determined look and nodded. "I'll help you! I think we can talk him down if you say the right things."

You chuckled and stood up again, ready to face this new opponent. You could get through this, in fact, you would get through this...for Frisk's sake.

Papyrus certainly looked familiar and part of you wondered if he was actually the one who'd killed you last time. It would make sense, as he definitely looked more dangerous than Sans.

He was at least a foot taller than you were and looked quite a bit different from his brother. He still had sturdy bones but his frame was a lot more angular compared to Sans' more bulky look. He had sharp teeth as well, although his eyelights were a slightly different shade, maybe a scarlet? His left eye socket also had two long scars across it, presumably from a fight.

Besides his black chestplate, Papyrus also wore long red gloves, a red scarf that was more of a cape, and tall red boots with heels surprisingly. If you weren't battling to remain calm, you probably would've complimented his bold fashion sense. You didn't know of anyone else who could look so menacing and...hot at the same time.

"Sans! You Lazybones! You Have Not Reset Your Traps Yet Today! What If A Human Comes..." He paused mid rant when he took in your appearance.

Sans bristled and the corners of his smile fell slightly. He seemed like he was about to retort in kind but stopped himself.

Papyrus narrowed his eye sockets at you as if he was scrutinizing your appearance. He slowly strode forward, stopping a few feet away from you. "Why Does It Feel Like I Have Met You Before, Human?" he asked in a chillingly quiet tone.

You stared up at him unblinkingly and crossed your arms. "I could ask the same actually..." you answered.

Papyrus glanced at Sans, who merely shrugged. "don't ask me, bro," he hissed.

Frisk tugged at your pant leg to get your attention. When you glanced down, they quickly signed what was on their mind. "Flirt with him."

You had to bite your tongue to keep yourself from retorting and drawing too much attention. Why would they suggest such a thing? Where had this child even picked up the concept of flirting? If this worked, you were going to have a serious discussion with them at some point.

"So, Papyrus," you started to say, catching his attention once again. "Do you have more bones than the average human or would you like to find out?" You mentally kicked yourself for that one but tried to maintain face and batted your eyelashes at him.

Papyrus stared at you for a solid five seconds before the meaning of your question seemed to set it. A dusting of scarlet flickered across his cheekbones and he stepped back from you, covering his mouth as he did so.

You smiled and stepped slightly closer to him. Feeling slightly bolder, you called upon everything you had learned from sucking up to college professors and your boss.

"If I may be so bold, I think you also look very cool. Like seriously, humans dress so boring in comparison." You made a bit of a show of looking him up and down, nodding approvingly. "I'm actually jealous of how cool you are."

Papyrus opened his mouth to respond but quickly closed it. The scarlet blush wasn't disappearing no matter how hard he probably wished it would. He stammered and stepped back again.

"You... Your Flattery Will Not Save You, Human." He scoffed and turned on his heal. As he stormed off, you heard him mutter something along the lines of, "Not Being Able To Talk Your Way Out Of My Traps."

You couldn't believe that had worked. You scooped Frisk into your arms and hugged them tightly. "You have some explaining to do later, kiddo..." you muttered but Frisk only grinned at you, clearly proud of themselves.

"wow, i can't tell if you're insane or just lucky. either way, i'll be keepin' an eye socket on ya, human..." Sans said quietly.

You chuckled and flashed him a triumphant grin, which caused him to huff and walk away in the direction you had come from. You'd survived just a little bit longer it seemed.

[writing-with-gremworm]

The Winter Duke

Notes:

Mentions of/implied abuse

Unhealthy relationship dynamic

Obsessive behavior

Yandere!Wriothesley

A little slow to start

The Duke of the North is a terrifying and cold figure. He is said to have slaughtered thousands and abandoned many to the monsters plaguing the snows. So it came as a surprise to you when he seemed like an ordinary guy during your first conversation.

"You must be (Y/N). I'm sorry you had to come here on such short notice, but I can assure you that this arranged marriage will not be permanent." The cold Duke states, motioning for me to sit down, "In the meantime, we have much to discuss. I don't expect your help for free."

"Ah, yes, that is only fair." Your voice quivers slightly. You were surprised he offered you such a deal. Generally speaking, you were seen as useless given what your power was. You had an affinity for minor mimicry. This meant you could make ice cubes after someone made a glacier, or a glass of water after someone made it rain. The power itself was weak, so it was dismissed. Especially since you came from a long line of saints. The (L/N) family were known as some of the greatest healers. Though how that healing was developed was a family secret and one that made you want to throw up when you thought about it. Your skin itches a bit at the thought.

"First, allow me to make a proper introduction. My name is Wriothesley, the Duke of North Fontaine."

"You've already gathered my name ... um, Rizzley."

"Wriothesley."

"Rizzley, what exactly do you expect of me? I know you seek the (L/N) name because of its ties to previous saints, do you seek a healer? If so, I can not help you." You state simply, looking at Wriothesley with a shakey gaze. Your heart was racing, he was said to be the coldest man in the empire, how could you not shiver?

"No, I already know you're the black sheep of your family. What I seek is your ability to move freely. I am confined to this place, as such, I need eyes. One who is as, and forgive me for this, generic as you will go unnoticed." You wince a bit and sigh. You were glad he wasn't going to kiss up to you because of your title, but it still stung to be told so blatantly you were boring.

"No, that's a fair assessment." You smile, Wriothesley's lips flatten more, but you don't notice, "But why can't you just leave? I know the social world has cast you in a ... less than positive light ... but you're not trapped here are you?"

"We'll discuss that when it becomes relevant. For now, just know I can not leave the North."

"... Cryptic. But okay. So, what will you offer me?" You swallow, looking at him with feigned courage. Your heart beat so quickly it felt like a hammer was bashing against the burdensome ribcage acting as a wall.

"If you help me, I will help you. This means you can ask for anything. A villa, money, even fame." Was he serious? You couldn't sense any change in tone, and he didn't put on a fake smile like your father did when he wanted something. Maybe you wanted to believe him. Maybe you should.

"Money ... sounds reasonable." You start, taking a shallow breath before continuing, "But you'll have to compensate me appropriately. Let's write a contract detailing what you want from me and what you think it's worth. I'll adjust it as needed to fit my conditions."

"... Alright. I can do that. Louis, escort Mx. (L/N) to their room." Wriothesley looks to his attendant and gestures toward me.

"Of course, Your Grace." Louis states with a polite smile, "Come with me Mx. (L/N)."

-- After the door closes Wriothesley smiles a bit before quickly covering his mouth.

"They're even better in person ... Ah, I hope you stay for a very long time (Y/N)" Wriothesley mutters to himself.

In truth, Wriothesley has been watching them for a long time. Fleur, his assistant, helped curate rumors to make the (L/N) family give in to his wishes. --

Louis opens the door to your room and you're surprised by its grandeur. It's a stark contrast to the attic you'd lived in before this. In the (L/N) family you aren't permitted to live in the second-floor rooms until you've awaked holy power. As you did not awaken said power, you were forced to remain in the attic. This attic was designed to test the limits of your body to encourage the propagation of holy power. Though, no matter how much you were tested, not a speck of holy light flowed through your fingertips.

Laying on the fluffy bed you close your eyes. If your bed had been like this, would you have been less tired? You don't know, but you can feel the exhaustion setting in. The distance between the Duke's estate and your own was several weeks without a magic portal. Given the prowess of both families, you only had to spend a few days on the road. The trip was still unpleasant. As part of the (L/N) tradition, you had to ride in the most frugal of carriages and fast daily.

"I'm scared." You admit, hugging your pillow tightly as your heartbeat lulls you to sleep. The familiar racing pace creates a frame to justify rest. After all, you already knew the pattern, it was too tiresome to punish someone half asleep, they never seemed to remember properly.

--

"So this is all?" You look at the contract, surprised it is so short.

"Yes, that is all. It is simple and to the point. I'm quite certain you'll be happy with the terms." Wriothesley states simply, leaning onto his hand as he glances over you. His silver eyes seem to pierce through you. You avert your gaze and quickly read the contract.

"So you wish for me to be your face?" This was troublesome. Your face in the social world was not well known, but your name was the current gossip of high society. Would you really be okay if you became his face? Surely Wriothesley, someone of Ducal status, already knew this. So why?

"That's ... one way to phrase it. Yes, as stated there, you'll be taking my place in socials and surveying the territory while I am still bound to my place." Wriothesley's expression shifts slightly, a hint of annoyance clouding his eyes before his gaze returns to a neutral state. You flinch without realizing it, it would be too much to ask him more now. It was safer to accept this.

"This ... is too much Mora. Besides, this contract doesn't detail the marriage aspect. I thought that was part of this." This much was reasonable, it didn't make you seem weak, and you could still get more information.

"The marriage is set to last until I'm no longer stuck in this place. I will write that down if you need."

"... Alright. I didn't realize you were the forgetful type. I thought that was my role." You write down that and alter the amount of Mora you'll receive before handing the document back to Wriothesley. You swear he smiles a little when you pass it over.

"Well, now that the contract is settled, I'll have Louis fill you in on your first task."

"Right, right, you're probably busy since you still have to do all of the paperwork." You nod and look over to Louis who has the same polite smile as yesterday. Besides, this was a great excuse to leave the room.

-- "Fleur, I have a task for you. Can you do some research into the secrets of the (L/N) family? Ah, and look into Transfer Relics." Wriothesley had a feeling his reports were missing something, while he liked this malleable version of (Y/N), they seemed different from what he'd been told.

"Transfer Relics- but aren't those only effective at moving curses?"

"Exactly." Fleur knew what that meant. She thought (Y/N) was fragile, a glass bird riddled with imperfections. Maybe that is why Wriothesley had taken an interest in them.

"... Understood, Your Grace." Fleur was sure now, Wriothesley's interest in (Y/N) would act as their cage, and she had no intention of saving them. At least in a cage, the glass might not break. --

"Eh? Wait, I have to attend the Royal Assembly? I guess that's why this marriage was so rushed." You mutter. You swallow nervously and place a hand to your chin. Your eyes dart to the nearest vase so you look preoccupied with thought.

"That is correct Mx. The Duke's family was required to go this time, however, as you can see, only Wriothesley remains of the main bloodline and until you, he had no spouse."

"Ah ... because of the rumors right?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so." Louis pulls out a handkerchief and wipes his eyes, "Ah, forgive me, I'm a little emotional. It's been so long since Wriothesley had someone to call family, however temporary this is." Something about the way he said it made you feel a little bad.

But, this was temporary, and you all knew that. Though, staying here for a while doesn't seem like a bad thing. At least you get to eat multiple times a day instead of just once. Your bed was soft too, it felt much warmer than the firm attic one at the (L/N) residence.

--

Attending Empress Furina's Assembly is something you never expected to do. Your oldest sister and father attended regularly, but you were never qualified to attend. Even now, you were taking Wriothesley's place, so it felt like you didn't belong. You may have accepted it with open arms, but the doubts you had were so loud. They screamed at you, tearing at your hair and reminding you of what happens when you don't listen.

You make it to the assembly room before your mind traps you in the background. You hear your name announced, but you can't even move your lips.

You try to step out of your head, but something drags you back in. The tendrils of cold and hot wrap around your body and remind you of the torn flesh and the inability to breathe. You try to scream, but nothing comes out. You try to look around, but the only colours surrounding you are black and red. They cover your vision and the red creeps outward. You finally move your hands, only to see them covered in a deep crimson that has started to flake.

"Mx. Are you alright?" A cool voice cuts through the screaming silence.

"A-Ah ..." Your mouth opens, but only weak sounds escape it.

"My liege, I'll escort this guest to a rest chamber, please continue the tea ceremony without us." The man with silver hair tells Empress Furina calmly. The blue streaks reminded you of the water, or maybe of a dragon's horns. Your eyes widen when you realize who is escorting you away from the Royal Assembly.

"Justice Neuvillette ... You need not have left to escort me ... but I ... thank you. I am in no place to berate you for attending to my needs. That would be rude." Your throat hurts, but at least the words seem to sound normal, maybe no one would be able to tell you'd just frozen up. Unfortunately, your legs and hands were shaking noticeably, so it was clear you shouldn't be left alone. The red still faintly overlaid your fingers, it made you want to puke.

You look at your hand and notice Neuvillette holding it. Maybe he thought you wouldn't be able to follow along without guidance. It was sweet in its own right. Neuvillette, too, had a reputation that preceded him so this gentle side was new. Maybe that difference made you feel a sense of calm.

"Think nothing of it. I simply wanted to help my friend's spouse." Neuvillette dismisses it with amusement colouring his words.

"Did you two bond over scary reputations-" You start before covering your mouth with your free hand. Why did your tongue move so freely with this man?

"No, though said rumors are one thing we seem to have in common. If that were a tell, then you'd be my friend too, no?"

"Huh? But I- don't have much of a reputation, do I? As the black sheep maybe, but nothing more."

"Ah, I suppose you're not aware of the other rumors. Then pay me no mind, if such things have not tainted your ears, it is better to leave it here." Neuvillette states, clearing his throat and opening the door for you to step inside the resting area. You furrow your brow.

"But if it is about me, then shouldn't I be aware?"

"Some things are better left unknown. Though, if you wish to know, I will ask you something first. Why weren't your sister and Father with us at the assembly Today?" You look surprised. You hadn't had time to register anyone's faces, just the flood of anxiety that threatened to eat you alive.

"I ..." You start, but you realize quickly your answer wouldn't have made sense. You could have suggested they were both ill or otherwise wished to avoid you, but in public, they always pretended to adore you and they were healers who had excellent natural constitutions, "Someone prevented them from being here today."

"... In a sense, they were prevented from being able to attend," Neuvillette confirms, though his phrasing concerns you a bit.

"I ... see. What does this have to do with the rumors?" You ask pointedly.

"They imply that you're the person who ... barred the attendance of your family." Neuvillette pauses in the middle, clearly thinking about something else before deciding on this phrasing.

"But it doesn't make sense for them to avoid me ..."

"Regardless, you should take a seat and breathe. I'll return to the assembly if you do not wish for me to stay."

"I'll be fine. Thank you." You say certain that you could find your way back when you were sure you were okay.

--

"Fleur, you've done exceptionally this time. The (L/N) family was keeping this sort of thing, hm? Well, I suppose as a family of healers, it's only right they once held something so precious." Wriothesley smiles, his lips forming a tight curve as he holds a glowing sphere.

"Your Grace, this has caused rumors to spread about your spouse. Should I handle those?"

"... No, rather, we should use them to our advantage, no?" Rumors are what brought them here, so rumors would bring them closer.

"Understood."

--

"I apologize for earlier, your highness." You bow before Furina once you get a chance to speak with her.

"Hm, well I suppose you should. It's only right." Furina starts before Neuvillette clears his throat quietly, "Ahem, I graciously accept your apology! But to make up for this transgression, you must attend my next Tea Party!" Furina insists, throwing her hand out to point at me. You blink, a little surprised this is the only reprimand someone of her stature is giving you.

In the (L/N) household you had to isolate and pray for several days for your wrongs, especially with something of this caliber. Your knees start to tense up, and your calves pulse with phantom pain at the thought of it. You notice Furina's gaze and realize you haven't responded.

"Oh- yes, of course, Your Highness." You promptly reply with a polite smile. Neuvillette notices something in your demeanor that concerns him. Perhaps, he thought, Wriothesley's words were correct.

--

Wriothesley was displeased when he heard (Y/N) was invited back to the palace. He was well aware of why, (Y/N) was his spouse, so they should stay nearer to him, but it wasn't time to let them see that side of him. After all, wouldn't they run away? There were moments, little flickers of their gaze, a slight alteration in the way they breathed, a change in stance, or even something they forgot in their routine that told him they were afraid of something, but their smile remained.

He recognized that smile, it was something he had grown tired of using. The mask to deter those who would pray on sorrow. It was the mask someone deeply hurt would use. It was the reason he'd orchestrated the death of the (L/N) family.

"They need me. They need my hand." He mutters. Wriothesley closes his eyes and imagines holding their fragile body in his arms. In this fantasy, one hand was on their fragile neck, the other wrapped around their waist. He imagined how warm they would feel in his arms, how delicate their lips would look as they trembled. His breath hitched as he thought about kissing them, taking their soft lips with his own. The petal-like touch and spring warmth would surely be addicting. He knew, of course, that he was the one who needed them most. Though, he didn't understand how he'd come to adore this fragile being.

Wriothesley opened his eyes and peered at the artifact. He smiled, knowing it was almost time to put it to use.

--

The day you were to attend Furina's Tea Party approached more quickly than you imagined. You sigh as you look out the window. You wondered if it would be like last time- if you would freeze in place and be unable to speak. Your fingers trembled, so you gripped your dress clothes tightly.

The carriage rattles and thrusts you against its door. You take a moment to reorient yourself before you see the window is looking up into the sky, not the treeline. Your carriage had fallen over.

"Assassins." You mutter. You knew some hated you, but you never thought it was to the point they'd want you dead. Though, did you mind? Before this, hadn't you wished for death?

"I need someone as my eyes and ears." But you were needed now. Even so, was it a position only you could fill? Surely not.

"Found you~ Now, why don't you let your Godfather take you home, hm?" A strange and yet familiar voice coos, accompanied by sullied blue hair and a crow-like mask.

"Godfather- then- Father has died?" You ask, looking at the man, confused. You're not sure if he heard you. Your throat feels stuffy, so the volume of your words is minimal.

"Yep! You have no idea how long I've waited. So, (Y/N), will you come with me willingly? You have nothing to lose, do you?" The man, claiming to be your godfather, whispers cruelly. Your hands shook, and his grin seemed to widen. Did your fear excite him? Who was this? It hit you. This was the 'God' that Father prayed to. But he was no God, not really. His essence was too cruel to be the benevolent God Father claimed to love.

"Y-Your name." You stutter.

"Hm? Well, I suppose I can tell you that, under the pretense, I get to know something from you first. Tell me, (Y/N), what do you think I am?" Did he know what you were thinking? Could he read your face? You didn't know, but your mouth refused to move. His presence felt like a thick ooze, sinking and slipping over your skin, entangling your flesh and clothes in its putrid fluidity.

"I asked a question. Do I need to ask again?" His hand touched your chin, his skin freezing to the touch.

"A false God." You manage. Though you hadn't intended to be so honest.

"A false God? Hahaha! Good, then you don't expect me to be gentle. I am Il Dottore." The man smiled widely, his sharp, shark-like teeth catching light on the edges as shadow cascaded over his face and mask. You press your back against the carriage door instinctually, your body shaking. Why did that scare you? Why did that name sound so familiar? It wasn't the name of a God, no, it was the title of something far worse, far more mortal.

"The Wings of Revolution-"

"Oh? You know of us? Well, that makes it easier." Dottore grabs your wrist and pulls you out of the carriage, "Ah, minor mimicry, what a fascinating skill. I'm excited to learn all about it."

Just like that, it felt like your world was being consumed. How would you escape this? You were frozen in place. A stream of water replaces the spot Dottore's head used to be.

"It looks like I got here on time. I'll escort you back to the Wriothesley Estate. I'm afraid it would be too dangerous to finish the journey to the palace." Neuvillette states with a sigh, "Worry not about Furina, I will discuss this with her." You nod without thinking and look down at the headless body in front of you. Instead of viscera, you notice wood.

"It wasn't ... him ... Then what was that ominous feeling?"

"... Yes, it was Puppet Magic. The real culprit remains intact." Neuvillette confirms your suspicions in an instant. Puppet magic is well known as cruel magic. It is a manipulation of the soul and body. That magic is most commonly used like this, as an extension of the creator's will. In this case, it was a doll made to host a piece of the soul and memory of the creator. Of course, this likely means that the creator knows what happened here since those memories return once the exterior unit is destroyed.

"Then he will come back ..." You realize, your gaze blurring as a rush of nausea grasps your neck and stomach.

"I can not deny that. However, I can assure you that Wriothesley, within his Domain, will stand by you." Neuvillette tries to comfort you. He sounds so sure. You want to believe him. But is it safe? Puppet Master's manipulate the soul. His strangely soothing presence could be a result of that. You nod quietly. Did you have anywhere to go? You had no friends, your family wasn't an option, and Wriothesley was the only one with his arms open to you. Did you have a choice?

Yes. You told yourself. Of course, I have a choice. It's just a bad one. Truthfully, you only had one choice to survive. Despite your prior thoughts on the matter you weren't willing to actively choose demise, it had to take you itself.

--

"... I have a way to guarantee your safety, but it means giving up your freedom," Wriothesley tells you. His voice is softer than usual, and his eyes look tired. You falter.

"That is the only way. That is what you mean." You mutter, biting your lip. Did you have freedom? Was that a right you felt was worth the risk? You close your eyes and think. The creeping shadows and cold touch creep through your thoughts, scrapping at your mind and digging into you. You stop breathing for a moment before opening your eyes. The world is slightly blurred and you feel unsteady. You came to a decision. Wriothesley was generous compared to his rumors. You knew that the safest option was to be near him in this house. It still felt suffocating, but you knew it was the right choice.

"I'm sorry that this is the choice I can offer you. A binding to this place." What you didn't know was that Wriothesley's heart was racing. His lips had shifted into a subtle smile covered by a thoughtful cup of tea.

"I ... accept. So tell me what to do." Your voice shakes despite your wishes to sound confident. Wriothesley doesn't comment on this, instead he asks you to close your eyes and hold out your hand. There was no other option, so you did as he said. It was only when the whispers of a curse settled in that you understood what he had done. He had given you the same curse he bears. This curse was cold, like steel cuffs clinging to your wrists.

"Don't cry, I'll protect you." Were you crying? The hot tears fall down your cheeks, falling pleasantly into the hungry carpet beneath you. Wriothesley sounds happier than normal, but maybe you're mistaking his kind consolation as something more. He offered you a hug, a gesture you were not well acquainted with. Maybe that is what drew you to it, why you accept his arms so willingly around your smaller frame. His breath tickles your ear as he whispers gentle consolation. His breath feels strangely cold, but not unpleasant.

"I will make sure no one takes you away carelessly." His words were surely meant to be sweet. You knew he was trying to be kind. You just felt a strange sense of sickness twist in your stomach.

...

...

--

"I don't take kindly to false promises Wriothesley."

"I did not lie, you have done well to aid me. In return, here are the artifacts you wanted. You may do as you please with them according to our deal."

"I'm sure you'll need my help again soon. You know how to contact me."

"Of course, Doctor, I hope you weren't too bored. You even sent a puppet alone."

"Minor Mimicry. You know that 'minor' mimicry doesn't exist don't you?"

"Of course I do."

...

...

[path-of-grass-and-leaves]

How I Practice Death Work

Please keep in mind that this is a post about my own practice. My relationship with death work is intertwined with my individual path and is highly personal. What is written here may not apply to everyone.

Through working with "Death Energy"

Death Energy as I define it is simply energy sourced from things associated with Death. Some examples of this include dead leaves, rotting wood, snow, compost, soil taken during winter, ash, and plants associated with Death. I prefer to use the root of the plant because I associate it with the spirit world/underworld.

Some practitioners like to use bones and grave dirt in their workings. This isn't something that I do often because I believe that these things are tied to specific spirits and in my practice it's important to let the dead rest, with some circumstances being an exception. This is by no means true for everyone and I think it's fine to take graveyard dirt or bones as long as they're ethically and respectfully sourced.

I find that death energy works great for transformative magic, for endings and rebirth, and for connecting with certain spirits. I'm sure it could also be used in baneful workings.

Through Mundane Action

From the outside, how I practice death work probably seems very ordinary. I take in roadkill from my street and bury it, remove dead animals from yards and set the corpses somewhere quiet. I compost. I clean for a recent widow and bring her food and gifts, offer support and guidance for grieving loved ones, cook for them. These are expressions of love and forms of veneration, which helps me connect with the dead on a deeper and more intimate level.

Through Veneration and "Safe-Passing"

This includes building altars and leaving offerings for ancestors, passed loved ones, pets, and even local wildlife.

In terms of helping spirits pass on, I have a specific incantation/prayer that I recite for dead animals that I pass while driving. I encounter mostly animal spirits because my practice centers around the local flora and fauna. I will also hold burials and mourning periods, leave offerings, and conduct spirit communication when the situation calls for it. When I'm performing more complicated rituals of this nature, I'll enlist the help of my local/personal spirits.

Through Compassion For The Living

Life and Death are interwoven and are of the same cycle. If I kill bugs and set out glue traps, will the local insect and mouse spirits want to work with me?

Some of the things that I do to show compassion for the living include helping animals in need, growing native plants and rewilding my yard, giving money to strangers when possible, gifting things to my friends and neighbors, cleaning, cooking, or doing favors for loved ones. I believe that what we do in this world reflects how we interact with and are perceived in the spiritworld/otherworld.

Through acknowledging Grief and Fear

Believe it or not, I'm actually terrified of death and dying. My path to deathwork came to me through a time of intense grief and through the acceptance of mortality.

Reflecting on death, talking about it openly with loved ones, and even thinking about what I would want for my own burial and funeral are things that have helped.

For grief, I leaving offerings and create altars, speak fondly to/of passed loved ones, and let myself feel what I need to feel. I don't have much more to say on this matter, but I think it's worth mentioning for those who are apprehensive about death work for these reasons. You're not alone.

I hope this resonated with some people. Once again, all of this is personal and nothing written here is universal. I write because I love to share.

[chipsncookies]

I wrote Akio's backstory 🦊 I'm not a writer, i just wanted to get this story out of my head (I've already settled on it but writing is hard and drawing it would take too long). There may be grammar mistakes but i hope it's still understandable. I hope you'll understand more about Akio after knowing about his past. Please note it contains pokemon death and brief description of gore. Enjoy!

It all started when Akio was a zorua. He was born and raised in the icelands, but the condition there was so harsh he always wished he could settle somewhere else.

By a stroke of luck, he was found by a human boy who came to that place for some errands, and instead of fearing pokemon, he thought akio was really cute and decided to take him home. He put akio inside his satchel, making sure to be very discreet about it because his dad would not approve of it.

The boy would help his dad in the fields during the day, then go home to akio, bringing food. He keeps akio in a chest so he won't be found (the kind that's in Jubilife houses).

The boy is the son of a farmer, he had to help with field work and had no time to play, and he's also socially awkward so he often feels lonely. But meeting akio changed that, it feels like he's getting a friend. Even though people think of pokemon as a pest, he found akio very cute and delightful.

Akio has always been adventurous, and he prefers the village a lot more than the harsh conditions in icelands. He doesn't know a lot about humans except he was told to always avoid them, and adult pokemon would chase them away whenever they meet one, but with this boy akio feels he can trust him. After all, why not? He accepted him and took care of him. They bonded easily and became friends.

However, this would not last long.

One day, with terrible luck, akio somehow was seen by his family member, and they chased him out. Akio not understanding anything, ran out of the house. The villagers are shocked to see him, because they're strict and would never let pokemon in. They also have never seen a pokemon like akio, as most zorua and zoroark live in the icelands. They started to chase him. Eventually akio got caught, and they began investigating where he came from. They finally traced him back to the source: the boy's house.

Akio is trapped inside a net that restricts his movements. He struggled with all his might, but couldn't break it. He's scared and confused, and he tried to call for his friend.

The villagers are angry that someone broke the rules by allowing pokemon in, they are absolutely forbidden because the villagers didn't want them to eat their food reserves, which are already scarce, and especially since winter has already started.

They demanded explanation from the boy's family. The boy's dad is an important person to the village, he's their most hardworking farmer so this is a big issue for them. He vehemently denies it, saying he would never allow pokemon, he's hardworking and always helps in the fields. He urged the boy to say something to defend their family.

The boy, paralysed from the turn of events, looks at the angry mob, looks at his dad who's defending him, and lastly at his tiny friend struggling in the net.

He turned his head away from akio and said with a trembling voice, 'I... Don't know how it got here, it's not mine.'

They managed to convince the villagers that they were innocent. Akio, not understanding what's happening, cries for the boy. The boy covered his ears, akio's cries hurt him with guilt.

Having failed to find the one responsible of bringing him inside, the villagers assumed akio gets inside by himself with his pokemon ability or something. Feeling mad it was able to get in despite their measures, and paranoid it would come back in the future, the villagers decided to punish him: by killing him.

The boy is shocked to hear this, he didn't expect them to take such drastic measures. But he can't say anything, otherwise they'll find out he lied. He went home and cried. His family thought he was just shocked from the events, and they tried to reassure him, but it's useless.

After the deed is done, the villagers threw akio's body outside the village, his blood trickling onto the snowy ground below, leaving a trail.

But as soon as the guy who disposed of him turned around, the corpse begin to move, unnaturally and grotesquely, increasing in size and breaking the net that wrapped it, until there stood a creature with thick wispy hair, sharp claws and teeth, and bitter eyes, shaking with rage and desire for revenge. Akio is reborn as hisuian zoroark.

Back at home, the boy is still crying out of guilt and despair. He only wanted a friend, and he got one, but he betrayed him. He basically killed his best friend. He sat mourning by the chest that housed akio before. The zorua always slept in there, and when he came home and opened the chest he'd always see akio with bright yellow eyes waiting for him, eager to play with him. But those days are gone.

He was too heartbroken, he didn't realise the chaos outside. But then, everything went quiet. And then he heard the door being opened. The boy, wiping his tears and slightly dizzy from crying a lot, looked at the door. Akio, now a zoroark, stood there, eyes fixated at him.

The boy wiped his eyes again, trying to see clearly. Slowly, his brain registers the creature, which makes him freeze with shock, confusion, and fear.

But slowly, his eyes catch the details (he could not turn away), the familiar light grey fur, still visible even with all the blood splatter, and more features that he recognised. The boy immediately realised it's akio, his friend in a different form, whom he betrayed.

He broke down and grovelled at akio's feet. He asked for forgiveness, saying how he regretted what he'd done so much. That he was a coward and selfish for not saving akio. Between the sobs, he offered akio to take his life, as exchange for how akio lost his.

The boy closed his eyes, ready for akio to end him. But instead of pain, he felt a light pat on his head.

The boy is confused. He opened his eyes and saw akio smiling at him. And then akio turned around and walked away, leaving the village forever.

[howlingday]

Vytal Festival Tourney

Ironwood: Welcome, Remnant's finest of Huntsmen and Huntresses. If you're here, it means you have been invited to the Vytal Festival Tournament. But before we begin, let me make one thing clear: These games will be unlike any other you've played before. Take all the rules you thought you knew about these games and throw them into the wind!

Ironwood: To begin, each participant will be given a tracking card- (Gunfire and screams) Whoa! What the hell's gotten into you people?!

Guy: You just said no more rules!

Ironwood: About the game, not society! Everybody just stop, okay?! Everyone stop! Brothers, what's wrong with you people?! Like, there was no hesitation there! Clearly some of you were just looking for a reason! And some of you are already armed, which is also VERY concerning! I was just referring to the Academy Games. You know, the whole reason we're here? I'm just here to determine what's tournament legal or not.

Guy: So if I shot into a crowd with a semi, is- is that not allowed?

Ironwood: No, that's not allowed! Why do I need to tell you that?!

Guy: Ah, but what about in regards to the tournament-?

Ironwood: Why do you think that changes anything? No! It's not allowed in any way outside the tournament!

Guy: Is it because I used a semi?

Ironwood: Alright, guns are no longer legal to use in the tournament! In fact, let me just make this even clearer so there's no sort of confusion on my stance on this.

Guy: What about swords?

Ironwood: I feel like that's worse.

Gal: What about a sword with a battery charge?

Ironwood: Again, worse, and why do you have that?

Dude: Acid attack?

Ironwood: No.

Chick: Molotov cocktails?

Ironwood: No!

Person: What about taking someone's heart medication and swapping it out for placebos and watching them slowly succumb to their illness and rot?

Ironwood: No, and I want eyes on whoever said that.

Girl: What if you already killed people with hammers? Like multiple people using carpenter's hammers before this rule change? Does that, like- Does that bypass it? Like, uh... Like, is that good?

Ironwood: What the fuck?

Boy: No, that makes sense to me.

Other: That's pretty good logic right there.

Ironwood: None of you are seeing heaven.

Guy: What about traps?

Ironwood: No- A-Actually, yes! Traps are legal! However the rule is that you have to set it during the- (Explosion goes off, Car wails) Do I even have to ask-?

Guy: Car bomb.

Ironwood: ...ALRIGHT, YOU FREAKS, LISTEN UP AND LISTEN GOOD! NO BOMBS! NO GUNS! NO MELEE WEAPONS! NO SORT OF PHANTOM THREAD TYPE SHIT-

Gal: What about nuclear weapons?

Ironwood: ...

Winter: No.

Ironwood: Oh, come on!

Winter: Sir!

Ironwood: Listen, I don't even think they could do it, but I think if they can try, then- Okay, fine! Fine! No nukes! ...But I am open to discussion for it.

Guy: Uh, sir, I have a question for you.

Ironwood: Sure. Whatever. Fuck it. Ask away.

Guy: So if I understand what you're trying to say is that all these rules are in regards to the Academy Tournament.

Ironwood: Oh my god! Yes! Finally, somebody totally gets it!

Guy: So by following that logic, this rule change only applies if you're taking part in this tournament yourself, but not to the rest of us, right?

Ironwood: ...I mean, technic- (Riot ensues) Alright, fuck it. Fuck this tournament. Everything's Color War Vacuo again. Whatever! It's not like we spent a billion fucking lien on this thing! (Sighs) Fucking Mantle...

Winter: Mantle?

Ironwood: Yeah, Mantle. Where else is the tournament is being held. Actually, where are we, anyways?

Winter: Um... Los Angeles, California.

Ironwood: LA?! ARE YOU FUCKING OUT OF YOUR MIND?! GET US THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! (Sirens wail) HOLY SHIT, THOSE SONS OF BITCHES ARE GOING NUCLEAR!

[highfantasy-soul]

NATLA Episode 5 - Spirited Away (2/3)

[Masterlist of my NATLA thoughts]

An explanation of what I'm doing here and my history with ATLA.

Of course, full spoilers ahead.

<previous/next>

Combining Zuko chasing Aang in part 2 of the winter solstice with Bato of the Water Tribe and The Blue Spirit was a good move: in only 8 episodes, too many near-misses for him catching Aang could get redundant, so getting June to track him to Roku's temple was a great merging of those lines. While I miss Zuko holding onto Katara's necklace, since Katara didn’t make it to the Avatar temple, it's an ok change for me. It's a convenient way to merge in The Blue Spirit and have Katara and Sokka MIA without them just randomly being sick - they're actually trapped in the spirit world, so their plot is still relevant rather than the 'we're doing nothing but dying of thirst' plot they got in The Blue Spirit episode. Honestly think the way the live-action puts Sokka and Katara on their own journeys during big plot arcs that focus on Aang was really really good. First with the Omashu (animated) episode where they got stuff to do in Into the Dark (live-action) and now here with the Blue Spirit storyline.

I could watch Zuko being horrendously awkward trying to get info in the covert and not screaming orders way for like, 6 episodes. That whole tavern scene was just so freaking hilarious with all the mentions of the side quests from pirates to canyon guides to stopping the volcano! It really felt pulled right from the animated show - paying homage but seeding the themes from those episodes into other part of this live-action story!! Love June's introduction - and I'm so happy they got rid of the weird Iroh and her stuff and just had her compliment him to throw the pair off balance.

So I guess I should address some of the issues people had with June's characterization: I don't think her telling Iroh he was cute (like with Suki and Sokka) was her suddenly simping for an older man and genuinely pursuing him. That is not how people flirt. Take Sokka and Suki - is that how they flirted? Sokka and Yue? Katara and Jet? Aang and Katara in the animated show? Mai and Zuko in the animated show? You know who did flirt like that in the animated show? Tylee with Sokka when they were fighting - only ever when they were fighting. Was that her actually wanting to have a relationship with Sokka - throw out all her own wants to just get with a man? No. It was a way to gain the upper hand in a fight and throw your opponent off balance. With Tylee, she's already a bubbly, cheerful, open person, so we can read that flirtation as flippant and thrown out there because she's confident and not concerned with putting a filter on. With June, she's also confident, but she also is a beautiful young woman bounty hunter who is in a (assumedly) predominantly male field and has to deal with a great deal of strong and dangerous men.

Being incredibly forward with an individual who wouldn't expect to be flirted with is a power move. It's a way for her to assert dominance immediately in the situation - to take the lead and knock them off balance before one of the two men makes an unwanted pass at her. I didn't read her flirtation with Iroh as genuine, or at least, not as her just getting all hot and bothered and rolling over for the pair based purely on the fact that she was attracted to Iroh. She probably is great at reading people and saw that Iroh was marginally decent, so would agree to work with them, but she still wanted the upper hand and control in the situation - she wanted to clearly define her role as someone who was choosing to let them employ her not as a servant to do their bidding. She placed herself firmly above them - there would be no subservience from her. This is also not making June a bad character - it's making her a strong character (strong as in she believes what she believes and is unapologetic about it) it's not 'flipping misogyny into misandry' or whatever, it's showing June has agency. Like with Suki, the live-action gave June an actual character instead of her just being a cardboard cut-out of a Dragon Lady.

Having the lesson being learned in the town be that Zuko needs to stop thinking so rigidly - be prepared to take the unexpected route - was a great story beat to introduce with June. Instead of the plot being straight forward of Zuko sees June = Zuko gets her to track the Avatar and switching it to Zuko being annoyed and insulted that she's a bounty hunter (just as he was insulted that fire nation operatives would fight behind masks and doesn't think his father would approve) and then having to be convinced by Iroh to learn new ways of doing things was a great character building addition.

It's funny to me when people complain 'Zuko didn't say honor ONCE!' when every single action Zuko did - every opinion he voiced - SCREAMED about his honor. What was that again about the live-action telling not showing, not trusting the audience to understand character motivations, and being flat in its characterizations? This very internal integrity - honor - that he has is what's leading him to uphold Fire Nation values and rules so strictly, but it's also the very core honor of his being that will help him turn against his father in the end. It's consistent characterization that's just so wonderful to play with - their core remains the same, but how they interpret it once they have more info changes. And I'm not just saying that because those are my favorite characters to play in DnD! This is a totally objective and unbiased analysis! I swear!

I really loved all the additions with Azula in this season. It really rounds out her character and we see WHY she's as driven as she is in season 2. Seeing her need for perfection, her needing to go above and beyond to do better, and the hint of her blue flame was great. Just like the animated series explores at the end of season 3, no one starts out a 'monster' - they're taught to be that way. I never liked the reduction a lot of the fandom did with Azula and Zuko where Zuko was the one 'born good' and 'like his good mother' while Azula was just 'born bad' because she was the one 'like her father'. People aren't so simple as just being 'born bad'. In the animated series, Azula gets 'humanized' at the very end of the series, but I think showing her striving for the approval of her father - that vulnerability - makes seeing where it takes her in her brutality that much more horrific. We see that she doesn't HAVE to be this way (same with Zuko), but she was pushed to it due to her upbringing - the same as with Ozai and Iroh before Iroh had his loss and change of heart.

I saw some complaints that the spirit world was too bright and cheery here - and uh, I don’t see it? It's super grayed out, misty, creepy af, and ominous. The ONLY time it's colorful and cheery is in Gyatzo's little hut which… yeah, he created that little bubble of happiness - the rest is very in line with its depiction in the animated series.  Obviously sans the giant wolf, but basically it's the same vibe - creepy, ominous, and a perturbed spirit warning them away.

In the animated series, Sokka wants to go out and physically fight Hei Bai and Katara has 100% faith that Aang will figure it out. When Aang is thrown back by the spirit, Sokka runs out to help him fight - something that he mirrors in the live-action as it goes after Katara and he draws its attention over to him. Due to them weaving several of Aang's plotlines together in this episode(s), Hei Bai doesn't get as much time to be the main antagonist which I think is a shame, but with them giving more development to Katara and Sokka during this episode, I think it's ok. If I had to choose between more angry spirit destroying a village and seeing the root of Katara and Sokka's character trauma, I'll choose the character trauma every time. I always did think it was a shame that Sokka spent a bunch of time in the spirit realm and we never got to see/hear anything at all about it - there's a lot to delve into there that the animated show just skipped over.

Love love love Yue in the spirit world as a three-tailed fox! And how she explains Hei Bai's pain - foreshadowing the pain of the ocean spirit after it loses the moon spirit - her small bit of dialogue really sets up a lot with Sokka's growth, the state of the world, and the pain of the spirits (and humans reacting when they go through painful things). So cool that the showrunners used this foray into the spirit world and the fog to do a rendition of The Swamp from season 2 - even down to Sokka seeing Yue! Yeah, it happens differently, but the swamp showed each of our protagonists things in their past - and Aang one of his future (though in this episode it GAVE Aang his future). Very well done, in my opinion.

[luvscrazy]

"If its meant to be it'll be." PT. 7

Ex's to Lovers - Fem reader X Han Jisung (SKZ)

Summary: You and Han have been dating for 3 months but have been best friends for a long time and one day while you’re getting ready you get an unexpected text from him.

Han Jisung x Fem Reader

Note: If you guys want me to continue this let me know, its almost been scraped!

——————————————-------------------------------

James POV: 

I had left her house. The overwhelming feeling of uncertainty about what could manifest from that meeting haunts him. He doesn’t deserve her, and he knows she’ll go back in a heartbeat. My love for her wants to tell her to stop and turn back around, but I don't because she needs to make her own decisions. But I'll be here when he says something dumb, which he probably will. She’ll overthink what he's told, and it will send her into a spiral. I’ll be here to hold her and keep her heart full, from the one who’s broken it. 

Y/N POV:

As I'm driving to meet up with Han I feel a pit of nervousness. I keep thinking about James' words. He’s right. I do deserve better. But the thought of Han, his warm skin, eyes, and his round face roamed my thoughts. At the perfect moment, the song that he dedicated to her appeared on the radio. “Love Song”, by 311 was playing. In the lyrics, there’s a specific part that he wanted her to feel whenever he was far away on tour and she did. “However far away, I will always love you”,  the lyric she had held onto for him. I wished he meant the last part. If he “always loved me”, why would he have done that to me? That's the part that gets me. The pain of nostalgia plays in my head. The moments we shared. The dates, the moments I would come and visit him at his concerts, and the nights we lay next to each other in bed. I loved those nights. His warm body against mine. His allonging scent that I loved so much. His muscular arms wrapped around my body, and held me wherever I needed them to. The soft and rough kisses he would give me were filled with desire. They always fired up the butterflies in my stomach that lay deep down. That smile would appear while he was sleeping. It always made me wonder if he was dreaming of me. A faint smile appears on my face. I won’t deny I dislike him. I can’t hate him. I can’t hate his honey skin, boba eyes, pearly white teeth, his round face, and his perfect pouty lips. What I hate is that I can’t hate him. 

 “This better all not be for nothing..”, I say to myself as I'm closer to reaching his destination. 

Han's POV: 

I'm waiting in the cold. Winter has finally come. This is her favorite season, and that's why I love and hate it. She loves to wear her grandma's sweaters, her hot coco with extra marshmallows, and her smiley face when making snowmen with bent twigs for arms. I smile when thinking about that. I loved that stupid smile of hers. My puffy coat traps the warmth of my body inside. That same warmth is the one that kept her cold during the harsh winter nights. She’d cuddle up against my chest. I would feel her hair tickle my neck, and her small snores she let out. I wasn’t fond of her snoring, but I dealt with it. The warm smile she would make while she was sleeping. That same smile I would compliment every day. Her pouty lips would tempt me every time I was at my concerts. Her lips felt warm against mine and always had me coming back for more. She knew how to get me. I’d hate to admit it but she does deserve better than me. I’m such a fool. I choose physical love over real love. I hate myself for that every day. I know I hurt her, and at the time I didn’t care. It was about what I wanted, not her. I hate that I left her like that. Alone. She always loved being alone, but I know she didn’t after what I did. I hope she’s taken care of herself more. I breathe in and out the cold air, and kick the snow that's under my shoes. I see a familiar car start to pull up. There she is. She’s walking towards me. I try to hide my nervousness and be nonchalant. She’s still beautiful. She’s wearing her grandma's sweater under a big puffy jacket she has on. She always gets cold easily, so I bet she got a hot cocoa before she came here. Once she reaches me, she looks around where we’re at. 

“Why are we at a park?” She asks. 

“Thought we could go for a little walk. Come on.”, I say as I lead her down a path. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Love song by 311, is one of my favorites! its worth a listen!.

[celestialsyndicate]

It's so uncomfortable...and weird...every season alters go dormant and others come out...we can feel some fight dormancy because they want time here, others not wanting to be here because it means they're here to process the trauma of the season.Really though, I think some get angry because they miss getting to see the beautiful things in life. People too, getting that care. But it always happens. People go away for winter and the strong carry us through. The spring brings people like flowers and sometimes it's too much to handle. Summer we feel alive but the frequent fronters are our most aligned, I hate that they're the most uplifting but the most cognitively lost. Summer is for sun and late nights.

The seasons keep changing, years go by. How does time keep passing? It feels like it's betraying my healing. Why can't I stay behind to process while time stands still. I'll catch up.

Someday I hope we don't feel so trapped to time and cycles. I wish it wasn't so hard for the summer people to come during winter. It's always so dark, we need them most. But it doesn't come without it's own set of issues either. I don't want them to hurt and the winter months are painful to the summer faces.

We'll see you again. We'll see you soon. The wheel is ever turning. What is up must come down and what is down will rise again. Life is never stagnant. Better to accept what we can and move from there.

[stormblessed95]

Hi! With the new drops do we now know why JM was extra shy during his birthday? 🤔

Thanks for your hard work doing all the compilations/timeline updates! Always stay safe! 💜

OH BOY. Okay, soooo I like almost don't want to Answer this because "shippy" theories have me EXHAUSTED lately, ive been sticking myself firmly in a just vibing with the facts headspace for the past month or so. But ever since memories dropped I've had people referencing back to this ask, that I got a WHILE ago now. Where I said, ask me again after memories 2021 and I have more content to base my thoughts around over why Jimin was in his "blushing era" around JK during Fall/start of winter of 2021. And well, yall certainly didn't forget about that 😂😂 And I apologize to you, anon, in particular for making you wait for MONTHS with this ask just chilling at the bottom of my inbox lol

As I mentioned in the ask, we saw blushing Jimin start at around the beginning of September and we didn't see it much again after the last time which was during the PTD Concerts when JK got super up in Jimin's face

But after we got more content, in the form of bangtan bombs, concert dvds and memories, the amount of times Jimin was blushing (including the 2 I've shown here and the others mentioned in the previous ask linked above), there were not anymore instances. So the "theories" i mentioned having about a possible dynamic shift, I'm not so sure if it was a shift, or just them enjoying the moment and/or just enjoying each other. Plans were starting to get set into motion, everyone was discussing exactly when they would start enlisting, what concerts they would get to have and get to do before that happened. Something else to note was that during this time frame, Jimin and JK had also started to plan out and start doing fittings for their photofolios for this time. We know because in one of the preview sketches for Jimins, he was in the same outfit as a ot7 vlive they did and for JK all his piercings match up to that time frame too. He didn't have as many before and he has since had multiple taken out/closed up. And those were some sexy concepts they both participated in. With some interesting dynamics and expressionism portrayed too

And well who knows how this stuff carried over into home settings, into conversations they were having. If either of them looked over ideas/sketches together or any selcas taken and sent to each other. All that is just guess work but who knows. My partner doing sexy photoshoot concepts would be something I find enjoyable and could attribute to possibly blushing or just general enjoyment of each other (not necessarily in an 18+ only either)

So, we have incredibly sexy photoshoots they are coming home from planning and shooting and sharing with each other. We have blushing happening on JKs birthday, where we know they saw each other, spent some time together and worked on the 3J butter routine, where Jimin blushed a bit watching JK push his hair back repeatedly. Which um, where do we see JK repeatedly pushing his hair back and trying to thirst trap us again? Oh yeah, Jimins birthday video THIS year lol

We also saw a bit of an uptick in the matching accessories between them during that time period too. But as I also mentioned in the first post, it's not like JK never made Jimin blush before. He has done so OFTEN over the years actually. JK just has this affect on Jimin where he just melts like butter when he looks at him. Lol its adorable. And it also goes both ways. Soooo I guess what it's coming down to here is.... I have NO IDEA. And I'm okay with that. I don't think he was shy and blushy over things like hickeygate. I don't think he was blushing over people thinking they were boyfriends. I don't think they went off and got married and was blushy through their "honeymoon period." I don't think there was necessarily any shift in their dynamics here either.

I think they were just.... happy together and a little extra in love. Maybe because they were reaffirming their commitment to each other over those few months as all their futures were up in the air and MS was around the corner and they knew things were going to be changing. Maybe they were making sure to see each other in New light and reconnect together and make promises together through all these events where they didn't know if it would be their last ones for a while yet or not. These were conversations being had between the members for years finally coming to a head and... maybe they just made sure to give each other extra appreciation and love through it all. Which affected Jimin in this way of blushing and shy happiness. Or when JK was being extra attentive, like on his birthday when he was super sweet to Jimin all through practice and then through his VLive too. They really were just very soft those few months. It's really nice to see too.

Sorry that's not much of an answer honestly, but it's all I've got for yall at this moment. And I personally, am okay with that. I'm okay with not knowing what was going on during those months or what Jimin was thinking about during those times. I think they are cute and precious moments that highlight something a little special about their bond. But everything else above? That's just pure speculation. I'm good with just leaving it at, their bond is pure and special and sweet. And these moments give us a peak into that dynamic between them just a little bit. And I'm grateful for it.💜

^ from practice on Jimins birthday 🥰

Hope that helped explain my thoughts at least a little? It was probably really rambling, but I hope it made sense. Lol thank you for the ask and always holding me accountable to follow through on what I say I'll do! 🤣 Hope you guys all have a lovely day!

[synergysilhouette]

An alternate take on "Frozen II" (2019)

I'm back! I wasn't expecting to do a rewrite for this, but considering how polarized the feedback for this film is, I wanted to give my own spin on it--but keep in mind, this takes into account my rewrite for "Frozen," so read that first! You have NO IDEA how hard this was to rewrite, especially since I had to alter a lot. Hope you enjoy this, and be sure to check out my rewrites for other revival-era films!

Again: make use of the concept art! Unlike part 1, it doesn't really look historically/culturally accurate to medieval Scandinavia, but at least it looks amazing! Maybe the silhouettes could be changed to make it more accurate. Keep the color schemes, though; I love the oranges and reds used for Anna rather than her black look used in the final product--and yes, I know the last picture is from her Arendelle festival dress at the beginning of the film; I'd like it to be formatted to her travel dress (I like the silvery-grey coat though), as well as using the blues and greens for Elsa.

2. Stay in Arendelle a little bit longer. If you recall my "Frozen" remake, it's a larger kingdom, and I'd like to see it a bit more during "Some Things Never Change" and before we relax in the castle. Considering my other changes, it works out fine; they could be perusing the town when Elsa hears the magical voice. And Liutenant Mattias and his group are never trapped in Northuldra; they remain in Arendelle and didn't have a large role in part 1 due to Agnarr's advice to the staff to keep an emotional distance from the royals.

3. Hans is Anna's main love interest, being a genuine good guy here, and joins the team on their adventure. Given the events of the first film, they actually have been engaged for a while, as Anna is working on her relationship with Elsa and Hans is trying to bond with (some of) his brothers. He's also earned bonus sister points from Elsa because he serves as a confidant to her. Despite being engaged, Kristoff hoped Anna's feelings would've changed, but despite caring for him, she chose Hans.

4. Explore Northuldra culture more, and make Arendelle ancestors (a separate culture from the Northuldra) Sami-inspired. I find it a waste that the Northuldra simply existed to give Elsa a hint to the voice and serve as the victims of a colonial story. In my opinion, they don't live THAT far from Arendelle; they just stay a little ways away, enough to keep their cultural distance while still keeping in touch with current events. Plus they're not stuck in one area. In my version, their mythology would have a BIG impact on the story.

5. Remove Iduna's Northuldra origins. Maybe it's just me, but I do think Iduna doesn't look Northuldran. In my version, she was from a tribal group, racially similar to the people of Arendelle and hidden thanks to the trolls (and I'd also make Kristoff related to them as well). Or if we wanna utilize more of the Nordic mythology, she can be descended from elves, who are said to live in Ahtohallan, where Elsa ventures to find out the origins of the voice.

8. What were different elements in the film now embody seasons: Bruni (summer), Nokk (spring), Gale (fall), and Elsa (winter), which can be spiritual or in corporeal form, usually the former. The nokk (as per mythology) can also shapeshift. I'm removing the rock giants, since they don't really serve a purpose in my rewrite.

9. "I Can't Lose You" is included. After finding out the REAL reason their parents died, Elsa feels awful for how she blamed their deaths on Anna, and Anna attempts to prevent Elsa from shutting her out again, but Elsa is realizing that she's now at a point where Anna may not be able to understand (or survive) Elsa's destiny.

10. After Elsa sends away Hans, Olaf, and Anna, a new trio forms: Elsa, Honeymaron (who joins the team to help uncover the secrets of the voice), and the spirit of a previous winter incarnation named Cajetan. Elsa is able to summon him thanks to her own abilities tied to memory (it's mentioned the nokk can do so as well). A Northuldran from decades ago, he silently guides Elsa throughout he journey to find the voice, with Honeymaron bridging certain gaps in unspoken communication that may be lost on someone not from Northuldra. Can't decide whether or not Cajetan is like a little brother to Elsa or a hinted-at love interest (like I'd make Honeymaron). Regardless, Elsa does have higher priorities here than romance, but the seeds can be sew. The other trios are Anna/Hans/Olaf and Kristoff/Ryder/Sven. It's also revealed the previous embodiment of winter killed Kristoff's parents, as well as many of the ethnic group that lived with the trolls. Elsa suffers a lot of guilt for this, and thus involves Kristoff less in their journey, not wanting to hurt him, especially given that he's still reeling about Anna and Hans' upcoming wedding.

11. "Lost in the Woods" is about Kristoff letting go of his feelings for Anna as she decides to marry Hans, with possible hinting at him being attracted to Ryder, as well as reeling from the reason his family was taken from him.

12. We get a physical, PRESENT, villain. Sound exciting right? Well, my idea for the villain might lose a few people. Diving into the world's religion a bit more, I do like the idea that the Northuldrans (as well as the Arendelle people's cousins) spoke of an embodiment of destruction and chaos, a being that made seasons violent and dangerous, and prevents them from coinciding. Their goal is chaos, hoping to rebirth the world and crafting the wretched mirror that Arendelle royalty eventually gained possession of. Failing to convince Elsa to freeze Arendelle (and eventually the world), they turned their attention to the other spirits, who, due to lacking a human form, were easier to manipulate and control, using them to corrupt Elsa, who could also be the most destructive force if they to control her. The nokk attempts to flood Arendelle, Bruni burns up the Northuldra forest (causing them to relocate to Arendelle for a period) and Gale killing off other forms of life by taking their breath away until there isn't even a breeze in the air. Perhaps I've played too many video games, but I love the idea that he oversees much of the heroes like a deity would, similar to Eris from "Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas."

13. Change Elsa's origins. When Runeard dies in a frost, Iduna prays for the spirit of winter to be born as someone to bring Arendelle out of it's dark age, resulting in Elsa. "Love," as to be expected, is an honorary 5th element, and it's revealed that humans can only embody the seasons if true love is involved. It also explains why Agnarr abhors magic and attempts to put on a tough front. All of this is shown at Ahtohollan thanks to the magical elves who imbue wisdom to her. She spends a bit more time there before leaving, with "Show Yourself" being sung once she's there, and they're able to show her other memories of her family and show how much her parents loved her. Perhaps the "You are the one you've been waiting for" line is sung by the benevolent primordial entity. And Elsa is able to let go of the past discretions of the frost that killed her grandfather and Kristoff's parents.

14. The ending is a bit more open-ended. The chaotic deity is defeated, though it's noted that such things cannot be defeated, simply diminished or banished, similar to what Elsa does by working with the other seasons to defeat the deity. Elsa realizes that unlocking her full potential has made her a target for the deity's wrath, but she believes as long as she has those she cares about, then she can get through anything (it's cheesy, but it's true!) However, she does decide that she wants to learn more about the seasons and the magical world, and asks Anna to be a regent in her stead. Anna (and Hans) accept, with a bittersweet goodbye. The film ends with Anna and Hans kissing (and Olaf watches) while Kristoff, Sven, Elsa, and her seasonal contemporaries make for Northuldra, where Ryder, Honeymaron, and Cajetan await them.

One again, I've got A LOT going on with this remake. Maybe it needs to be a 2 hour movie. PLEASE let me know your thoughts and if you have any questions! I may tweak this later.

Update: I've also made a post about my own take if I was in charge of a Disney movie about the Snow Queen. This adaptation is independent of my Frozen remakes.

[swaps55]

18!

Send me a #1-101, and I will either tell you what fic the corresponding Spotify Wrapped song inspired, or write a ficlet that is inspired by the song.

Boy did you ask the right one.

#18 is a cover of Ho Hey, by BURNS. It's a really beautiful, wistful cover, and the person it makes me think of is actually Muriel Aslany.

I have a very specific arc in mind for her that will go all the way through the end of the reaper war, which is when this little ficlet takes place. This contains rather significant spoilers for Opus, but given how much road there is to travel between now and then, to hell with it. For context, the only time Aslany sees Sam between their parting on the 'Yang and the end of the war is on Horizon. It does not go well.

~

So show me family All the blood that I will bleed I don't know where I belong I don't know where I went wrong

The sun is out when they arrive, waning in the late afternoon, giving hints of gold to the new green sprouting on the trees. It's a much different look than in the winter, when those endless fields of trees were nothing but dead sticks covered in ashy snow, and Aslany had to focus all her attention on whether or not the tracks belonged to wildlife or reaper shock troops.

She never wanted to see this godforsaken place again.

Pendergrass bounds out of the skycar when it comes to a stop on the gravel drive near the steps of the front porch, as oblivious to the hell they went through here together as she is about just about anything. Aslany’s betting it’ll get to her some other way some other time; Pendergrass is oil to water – able to repel anything you throw at her until the water finds a seam and tries to drown her.   

But it’s all right. Aslany will be there when it happens to keep her afloat.

Some people will just be in your life forever, Lora Alenko had told her during the worst of it, on one of those miserable days they'd spent in the barn all huddled together for warmth without a fire. She’d nodded towards Pendergrass when she’d said it.

Lot of things are supposed to last forever but don’t. Wasn’t long before Mrs. Alenko had learned that, too.

But, as Aslany catches sight of the figure seated on the porch swing waiting for them, she can't help but hope maybe there’s some truth to it.

She gets out of the skycar slowly, eyes on her feet as she pulls her bag out and shrugs it over her shoulder. Pendergrass’ voice floats back over the breeze, talking a mile a minute. Alenko chuckles, and it’s a laugh Aslany hasn’t heard since the ‘Yang. Her chest tightens, fingers clenching around the strap of the shoulder bag.

She can’t do this.

She’s not like Alenko, who had the chance to bury the hatchet sticking out of his back after Horizon, or Pendergrass, who never cut anyone in the first place.

But she trudges toward her squad anyway, because while she may not have always been a good soldier, she’s never shirked her duty.

The conversation dies when she comes to a halt near the bottom of the steps. Pendergrass and Alenko both turn their heads to look at her, but she isn’t paying attention to them. She’s watching the figure on the porch swing.

He doesn’t look good.

Too thin through his cheekbones, and he sits like he doesn’t have the energy to do it without help. A thin spider web of scarring runs across one cheek, like someone smashed a pane of glass. At the sight of Aslany he sits a little straighter, but it takes effort.

She braces herself for that rail gun stare he wears for everyone but the ones he calls family. It would hurt less to take a bullet.

But there’s no rail gun. There’s just…Shepard. Gazing at her like he’s not daring to hope, because hope is for fools and he’s tired of being one.

The knot in her chest gets tight enough it forces a sound out of her.

Next thing she knows, her bag is in the dirt and she’s running up the stairs. To hell with what is or isn’t supposed to last forever. Shepard never played by the rules anyway.

Aslany flings her arms around Shepard’s neck. He traps her to his chest and holds her tight, eyes closed, exhaling like something just broke inside him.

“You came for us,” she mumbles without lifting her head.

He hugs her tighter. “I made a promise.”

[thenwethrowitonthefire]

hi, this is not ask but opposite! it's me talking and is about Pacific standard time, now Im not as good as you in turn my thoughts on words but; you know how some songs only hit you when it is the time?

the other day because of the heavy snow I couldn't go back home, trapped in small twon, on sunday was standing in corner of yard at 12pm, noticed the silence, time hadn't stopped but landing smoothly on my black winter coat with the snow flecks, and there I thought of this song. this song had a melody I enjoyed yet it didn't much make me think of it, often skipped it,

Clouds may be moving in People may be too thin Traffic may be a crawl

Seasons, there’s none at all

there looking at cloudy sky coating sun deep into background I fell into the time of small twon world, thinking of  how time passes differently, we all live on one earth but thousands of world runs by many more clocks yet there are moments times of worlds crashes into one another causing near-divin experience by living in time of unfamiliar world!

In Pacific Standard Time Mine is yours and yours is mine In Pacific Standard Time Everything is near-divine!

also I read the answer to last ask. and I thought it would be fun if I be the one who explain it this time around (:

Yes!!! Do please share your thoughts on songs! I love reading your thoughts and interpretations! I absolutely know how some songs only hit you once it's time (or intensify when the time is right).

I love how it made you think of all the worlds and the different clocks that all exist at the same time, that must have been a truly beautiful experience :) I love that so much! It's wonderful how their lyrics can contain so many thoughts and ideas at the same time. Thank you for adding another angle to a song I already love so much.

Honestly, it's one of my absolute favourite tracks on that album. I remember first listening to the album so vividly, and that song was one of the especially memorable ones. At its core, there's two things I hope for when listening a new Sparks album/song (without confining them to be a certain way because what I love foremost is for them to do whatever the hell they want and for them to blow me away with some good surprises). But for me it's all about: 1) Ron's writing, wit and piano playing, 2) Russell's voice being the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. This song is quite possibly THE song on the album when it comes to Russell's voice. Every time I hear it I'm just floating into another plane of existence (especially the falsetto parts). I don't have the words to describe how much I love his falsetto.

(My Sparks roots may be showing - I first saw them live during their Two Hands One Mouth tour, which as the name suggests was just the two of them on the stage. It was all about the things I love the most: them at their core and just the two of them carrying the entire show. It was theatrical, intimate and absolutely transcendental. I love the way Russell moves and how the audience became like a third instrument. It completely changed my life. I don't think I've ever heard Russell's voice be more beautiful, in part because you can obviously hear it so clearly when it's just them on the stage. I wanted to share a snippet of the live performance of Metaphor from that tour because I think you might like that one, but the sound quality of those videos does not do his voice enough justice when reaching the falsetto part. ...So instead I'll add a bad quality video of Good Morning, one of my favourite songs. A lot of this song was completely sung in falsetto. (And here's a link to an official live audio recording of Metaphor, in case you are interested to hear his voice in actual good quality.))

(You can count on me to always bring up more stuff when it comes to Sparks, and to talk about Two Hands One Mouth at any given opportunity.)

[thesnailkiwi]

i wanna hear more about your weird vivid 3rd life dreams /not forced

Mkay mkay I really want to talk about this

First time it happened, or as I call it "first session". (Side note, everyone looked like their characters but realistic.)

Started out (normal?) And collected stuff. The usual. I didn't know anyone at all and it was weird. Everyone felt so familiar, yet I couldn't place who they were. I met Martyn pretty early on. We talked, and he threw seeds at me and ran off. I settled in the roots of a tree the first night (the rain was unpleasant to say the least). Eventually I dug out the area around the upturned tree and put a roof so it was kind of like a burrow. Boy, how I envied Dogwarts at the time.

I met Joel next. He... was something, alright. He insulted me half the time and actually does swear a lot. Oh, and he was like 5'6 so that made it even funnier. He was annoying, though. He kinda just broke into my house tbh.

After that, I heard about Tango’s game but thought it was too risky. I was also afraid because of Scar since I didn't know him and from the stories I had heard he was cruel and merciless. In my defense, he was a red.

I met Jimmy after his first death. He's such a nice dude omg. He's also easy af to fluster. I complimented him and he turned bright red. He, seeing my pathetic house, invited me back to the flower valley for the night. Scott was offended that he brought home someone other than him lmao. At first Scott was defensive but after Jimmy convinced him I was fine then he loosened up. I felt like a third wheel the whole time. Jeez Louise the sheer amount of affection between those two.

Ahaha the next day I wasnt too lucky. I got caught in a TNT trap someone set (I think it was the Crastle, but I'm still unsure) and exploded. Not fun, exploding. Let me tell you. At least it was quick ig.

Bdubs was grumpy about that since it wasn't meant for me. Sir, how am I supposed to know that when you set it near MY HOUSE?

This is where things started going downhill.

Dogwarts was starting to rise. I was allies with the flower valley so I quickly was introduced to the desert duo. I felt kinda bad for Grian since he couldn't use his wings, but realistic harpy things are weird looking. Scar was terrifying. My dude is like 6 feet tall, grey, and littered with scars. Jimmy was red and he still wasn't scary! Wtf!

Ah yes. The burning of the banner. How could I forget? I wasn't there for it, but Scott sounded scared when I visited them next.

I had seen Ren from a distance, and I was so, so angry at Martyn for becoming the monster he did. Oh yeah, and the two of them kept beating around the bush in their relationship and that was annoying as well. Like, dude, just tell him already.

I never really met the Crastle. But I did meet Martyn again and blow up on him about being part of Red Winter.

And here we are! The bunker battle.

I don't really remember much about this part. Pure adrenaline took over. But I did die to being shot by an arrow and falling into the lava moat. I ran back as fast as I could with literal leather armor. Jimmy was dead by then, and when Scott realized, oh jeebus bleebus.

Anger, sorrow, revenge. He definitely was NOT thinking clearly. Since I was closest to Jimmy in the battle, he blamed me for his death. He attacked me and killed me with his sword. Very uncomfortable way to die.

Session two.

Started out on bad terms. I killed a few of the villagers Grian saved and he definitely was NOT happy. I swear he meant the creeper for me and it agro-ed on scar instead. But we'll never know ig.

The Crastle became my home this time. Cleo was recruiting so I signed up.

It went how you think it would. Except this time I played Tango’s game. I failed and died.

Then Dogwarts invaded the Crastle. The others except Impulse got away, but then I realized he was a traitor. I got sacrificed on the altar. Dude the Red Winter axe is a huge ceremonial battle axe. Ren laughing is extremely eerie.

Then during the final siege, Martyn took my last life. Pretty anticlimactic if I say so myself.

Anyway, any questions? I can talk for hours.

I swear every time you send an ask, it turns into a whole essay lmao /pos

[averseunhinged]

it is the end of the summer and project: secret plan to treat my own anxiety disorder until i can find a semi-local psychiatrist who is both taking patients and not a complete wackadoo has been. you know. hits and misses.

(+) have figured out my newly diversified social media usage to some extent, i.e. where i'm comfortable posting what content

(-) really, really hate juggling bluesky, instagram, tumblr, and the artist formerly known as twitter*. it makes me feel even more scattered than i normally do.

(+) removed most of the social media apps on my phone. it feels more manageable when it's not a constant barrage of notifications. i still have tafkat and bluesky on my phone, at least for now, but the rest are strictly laptop only.

(+) wrote things, both fic and original, with the actual intent to share them

(-) still having phases of massive panic attacks while writing, because i dared contemplate potentially allowing other ppl to read it in some capacity or another

(+) not having them every single time i open up a word document, tho. sometimes it even feels as fun as when i'm handwriting in notebooks.

(+) participated in fandom stuff

(+) sort of

(+) like the bare minimum of participation

(-) and then: panic/horror/despair

(+) but i'm kind of figuring out how it all works in the year of our lord etc. and there is LESS of the aforementioned, which...jesus, i can't even begin to describe how nice it is to be able to do things i really do want to do without the meatsack totally shutting down, because it can't read the room, and thinks i'm for realsies going to die.

(-) i was for sure using the wrong strain of sativa for a while

(-) white durbin was a bad scene for me

(+) do recommend jack herer and og sour diesel for adhd, tho. they sort of streamline the braining, but don't totally jack me up.

other more personal ups and downs, too. so. progress. ish. not as much as i (unrealistically) wanted, but there was some at least? i don't have a ton of secret plan stuff going into autumn, other than REALLY do it up for the autumn/winter holidays this year, if i'm well enough, because my sister broke off a long term relationship with a guy who was not holiday fun.

more of what i've already been trying to do, i guess. if i have to. which i do. being a very high risk person during the plague times broke my brain (which was already a cesspool of medical trauma, self-conscious anxiety, the sads, and no-longer-medicated adhd), and it's deeply annoying that doing things that make me feel short-term awful makes me feel long-term better.

i'd like to keep doing wip wednesday, but multifandom. i would like to actually finish fic and post it. i would like to do exchanges. i would like to review things. i would like to participate in and contribute to fandom at least to the level i used to. which was pretty minimal in the grand scheme, but it was something.

*if we are friendly here and you would like to be friendly on other hellsites, i think i'm at a point where that's okay. dm me or whatever. i do private life stuff on tafkat (very open about my severe medical problems, so content warning) music/tv/movies/food babbling on bluesky, and mostly use ig to keep up with friends and family, but haven't posted anything myself in years. unfollow amnesty for everything always. we can still be friends, even if you don't want to know my every opinion on trap-infused pop country or whenever i end up almost dead in the hospital for the millionth time.

[emmythespacecowgirl]

Fandom: BoB Gender/Pronouns: Female. She/Her. Sexuality: Straight Gender Preference: Male Appearance: I am 5’6, black hair just past my shoulders, brown eyes that I’m learning to love. I have light olive skin in the summertime that pales a bit during winter due to lack of sunny weather. I wear minimal makeup, keep it more natural. My hair either in a ponytail or bun for practicality. Only letting it down during the evening. About me: I grew up too fast due to childhood trauma that made me distrust men; to put it politely as I can without triggering anyone who reads this. So sex is, well, patience is required ^^”. For the longest time I went through dark depression, and recent years, I’ve managed to overcome the ‘S’-word and not looked back. I’m kinda proud about that, to be honest. PTSD still grips me in the form of nightmares, trust issues and anxiety. I think I formed a hardened shell around myself because I’ve become this hard-ass stranger trying to protect this sweet little girl trapped inside and it hurts that I have to protect her from the world. So only a select few get to see the real me. Trusting people is a major issue. It causes heartbreak when you put your trust in someone, utterly loyal and they break with a lie or something worse. I wish I was braver than I come across. So many fields of occupations I could have chosen but anxiety prevented me in doing so. But then, if I chose to become a Nurse or followed through Boot Camp, I wouldn’t be here asking for a ship XD I hate the cold. I hate loud noise (loud music blaring, overlapping of TV, Music, Chatter all at once). Main Flaws: Shutting down when there’s a problem. My brain can’t deal with confrontation so I have nothing to offer in an argument. I need to just go away and process everything before I have an answer. Also, I’m not good at seeking someone else out to have a ‘Hey can I talk to you about something?’ off my chest-situation. I just find a quiet place to sit, stare and sometimes cry. I don’t seek out comfort either – simply because I don’t want to burden that person. I don't like ice-cream or sweet-tooth desserts (apparently that's a flaw because everyone is flabbergasted when I turn down icecream) Hobbies: I love to read. I used to be an avid bookworm but that slowed down in recent years but I’m starting to find a routine and pick that back up again. I love photography; particularly photographing sunsets. It makes me soft. I love listening to music. Remember when I said I grew up too fast? Well… I think I’m an old soul stuck in a young person’s body because I adore listening to 40s music on the Record Player. Also have a tendency to bake to music too. I’ve actually also discovered I love sitting outside in the evening and eating dinner or having a drink. Just enjoy the weather. Personality: Introvert but more open with the right people if I’m comfortable with them. (I don’t do astrology signs because I don’t believe in allowing the alignment of the sun and moon dictate how I do the dishes). Pet Peeves: Oof…uh… not tidying up. Like, don’t leave a dirty cup on the table when you can put it in the sink. Put that pen away, don’t just leave it there. TV remote goes back in the drawer when you’re not using it. Not making the bed. Oh my god. Make the damn bed. Love Language: despite trauma, physical touch (not mollycoddling touch) helps. It also helps build that trust back in the male species. Hugs are pretty important. Words. I don’t require some lovey-dovey speech, but a few firm words of reassurance helps deeply. Other: I love the idea of slow-dancing. I never get to. But it’d be nice? To walk, arm around the crook of my lovers elbow as he take a walk along the path before sundown. Soft vibes would melt me. I love spring/summer weather. I love the smell of freshly mowed grass and rain on hot cement. Insecurities: Not feeling like I’m good enough. I don’t burden this onto people but it’s always nagging at the back of my mind.

I ship you with:

Doc Roe from Band of Brothers!

ship theme song: Dancing in the Dark by Artie Shaw

I think our Doc Roe can thaw you out :)

he's a Louisiana gentleman through and through

so he would never want to make you uncomfortable

he first notices you in England

you're both training in your respective medical units

but he can tell that you look slightly uncomfortable and in desperate need of a friend

I think Doc Roe sees a lot of his own qualities in you

so he's able to understand what you're thinking or feeling a good 90% of the time

oh and did i mention that he thinks you're the most striking creature he's ever seen??

he loves your black hair

he especially loves seeing it down and in it's natural style

you remind him of nature because there's nothing made up about you

you don't have to try hard to be pretty

Doc wouldn't change a thing <3

the trick will be getting you introduced to each other

since's you're both introverted, it'll probably take some outside force to get you two to connect

the first couple of dates might be a little awkward

but then Doc invites you dancing at this tiny dance hall in Aldbourne one night

its probably the most fun that you two have had together!

Gene is a humble yet very smooth dancer

almost a natural talent

it's actually where you share your first kiss together <3

the lights are all dim on the dance floor

and you both just feel like very safe in the anonymity of the other dancers

it's during "Dancing in the Dark"

ugh! perfection!!

y'all do all the cute spring activities together in England!

Gene is a big fan of spring

it's his favorite season actually

he makes it his life's mission to to draw you out of your shell and put you at ease

since your love languages match perfectly

i see lots of endless hand-holding

Gene could walk miles with your hand in his

as far as anything sexual goes

Doc is perfectly fine with taking things slowly

as long as you're comfortable and safe

that's all that matters to him

Gene also is no stranger to PTSD either

you both comfort each other when someone wakes up from a nightmare

Gene is a particularly gifted reassurance-giver

it's the soothing tone of his voice

and yes, the cajun accent does help, too

but the dude knows exactly how to calm your nerves

Gene is also a pretty perceptive caretaker

he can sense when you're upset

and he'll never let you cry alone

his shoulder is always free to cry on

"shh, ma cherie," he coos to you

Gene feels blessed and honored that he gets to be one of those rare people who gets to see your most vulnerable and naive side

he stills thinks you're the most strong person he's ever met

anything you tell Gene in confidence will be taken to the grave

you spend hours together in Bastogne

snuggled under the same blanket in a fox hole

and fantasizing about the big house you'll buy together when you get back home

one with a big wrap-around porch

Gene knows how you love to be outside

he loves the idea that you can be both outside and inside at the same time

because you could technically listen to your favorite records from the stereo system inside :)

PLEASE bake this man something!!

he will love it !