#I feel I've been told I've seen really helpful to other bi people in the past so I dont wanna stop that support if I can

[bisolationist]

I love bi people I love bi people so much but I can't see this topic coming up every day in the course of looking at bi blogs. I feel so fucking insane rn and I'm probably being at least partly unreasonable but fuck it's just EVERY DAY now.

[disaster-theysbian]

Gotta say, I've been out as a lesbian for 3 years and nonbinary for a year and a half. And I've noticed something.

Just because someone *always* gets your name and pronous correct, and angrily calls out anyone who forgets, doesn't necessarily mean they support you.

Conversely, just because someone struggles to remember your name and pronouns, or can't wrap their head around gender neutral/neo pronouns at all, doesn't necessarily mean they DON'T support you.

This is applicable to any situation really not just queer shit. Watch what people do, not just what they say, and you will find your friends. Someone might shower you with compliments and have common interests with you, but what happens when you tell them no? Do they get angry when they are corrected? Do they have kind things to say about other people?

My colleagues wouldn't know a gender-neutral pronoun if one hit them in the face with a dictionary, but they make sure I've had a lunch break and get home safely. They have my back if I have a difficult patient. They defend me against other staff members who like to create drama and bitch about people as if they're still in the school playground. If someone has something to say about me being a big ol' queer, they make it known that discrimination has no place in our unit.

My best friend in the whole entire world forgets my name and pronouns every day. When the organisers of her therapy group changed "men and women" to "people" and "he/she" to "they" in order to be more inclusive, there was outcry. Everything from the "it just doesn't sound right" grammar-policing nonsense to the "f*cking special snowflakes are offended by everything". She came down on them like a ton of bricks. She said if the organisers hadn't told them that it was changing, that they wouldn't have noticed. She told them they obviously haven't loved someone outside of the gender binary and they were missing out. She then told them how she had seen me grow and develop since I came out, and how in awe she was of the person I had become. No, she doesn't understand it at all, but why should that mean that she can't be there for me and appreciate how happy I am to be able to be me? Why should that mean, because you lot don't understand it, that someone with the same issues as the rest of the therapy group feels unsafe and unwelcome and doesn't get their issues resolved? As a result, a few of them changed their minds, INCLUDING HER OWN FATHER, and the rest at least shut the hell up about it.

ON THE FLIP SIDE...

A queer person who used my correct name and pronouns delighted in making me walk on eggshells, inventing reasons to be angry with me, convinced me I was a terrible person and even went as far as to try and turn me against my own therapist. They tried to tell me that my therapist only said I was a good person because she was paid to, and that because they themselves had a psychology degree that they could tell I had all these complexes and needed to work hard to be a good person, and it was unlikely I'd never get there. (I chose to listen to my therapist and stop being friends with this person).

A queer person who used my correct name and pronouns continued to do things that made me uncomfortable when I asked them to stop. Never said in as many words "you're not allowed to hang out with your friends" but conveniently had an emergency every time I had plans, and accused me of being uncaring if I needed my own space. They knew I had difficulty asking for help, but still got angry with me when I asked because I didn't ask "soon enough".

A queer person who used my correct name and pronouns told me they would look after me and they didnt. .

A queer person threatened to misgender me MORE when I corrected them.

I'm just saying, that if you choose to yeet everyone who doesn't get your name and pronouns right... that doesn't necessarily make you safe. We live in a very binary world. As much as we want that to change, it won't if we ignore or shout at the bits we don't like. (Believe me, I've tried).

[beelanddiavolosimp-blog]

I am bored and want to do more of my ideas/scenarios I've thought of for the demon brothers🤓

Context: I myself am a bisexual woman so I was wondering just how much the brothers know of sexuality and how they would react to a MC that is bisexual.

!This MC is female in this scenario!

Lucifer

He isn't too thrilled only because he will have even more competition when it comes to getting your attention or even your heart. He doesn't care for sexuality and stuff along those lines he is one for being yourself and sticking to what you want and think is best for you. That said when you do break the news to him his only reaction is to sigh if you were scared to tell him such information "do you really think something that small would bother me?" Is all he says completely unfazed.

Mammon

He's been to many parties and has seen women on women or men on men and those aren't him so why should he care? When you break it to him you are bi he stalls for a bit. Number one huh? The human likes even more people other than myself? He thinks. Number two he asks odd questions such as "does that mean ya can date both at the same time er somethin?" After explaining a lot he understands and never really was bothered from it in the beginning but as he sees your eyes linger on women he feels more jealousy rise up because he knows women are prettier than he is. (Not true I still love ya mams)

Levi

He is another one who doesn't care when it comes to that stuff he's seen many people in his anime fandoms fight over that type of thing and he ignores it because he has no interest in arguing over petty stuff. When he hears your confession he just smiles nervously and asks "well... please don't leave me for a pretty woman then..." And you have to comfort him saying you still only want him. His envy isn't too fond of this information but he still supports and loves you for you.

Satan

He has read many books on the subject of sexuality and gender and other terms. He himself tried to identify what he is but that only caused a headache cause he wasn't romantically interested in someone until you came along. Once you said what sexuality you were he just smiled and said he supports you. He already knew of what bi-sexual meant and he suddenly buys you many things and books with bi-sexual characters or the image of the flag on them. (Supportive king!)

Asmos

He is the most knowledgeable about all of that so don't even fret he knew what you were long before you told him. Even when you did he just shushed you and said "honey trust me I already know" and he goes about his day. He is open about his sexuality and often times begs Lucifer to let them go into the human world for pride parades so both you and him can show off your true beautiful sexuality proudly.

Beel

He of course has some knowledge from being around asmos so much so he knew a little. He doesn't care for others love lives so he was never judgemental and still isn't. When you told him he was just happy you trusted him enough to tell him. He fully supported you even though he was confused on some things but you and asmos help him out. He definitely protects you from homophobic demons or others.

Belphie

This man is constantly asleep so why would he have any knowledge of that sort of thing? Once you tell him it's a long drawn out process of him asking dumb questions. He eventually gets there and he even before couldn't care what you are other than his. He supports you and defends you but in general treats you the same you are still just his human bi-sexual or not. He still doesn't like when others learn this and more come onto you but it's to be expected you are a pretty human.

[karenandhenwillson]

About Coming Out

I've seen some discussion about "how disrespectful and misogynistic it was of Buck to come out at his sister's wedding". And at first I laughed about that take, but after some consideration, I became pretty sad. Because I feel this is one of the most queerphobic takes I've seen in this whole fandom discourse taking place since May.

What does this take imply about being queer and coming out? It tells us that coming out is a big thing. Something that you need to do with great care and put a lot of attention to, that you need to expect everyone else to put a lot of attention to. But not because people might react poorly and it's a decision a queer person needs to make carefully for their own safety's sake (which is the very reality for most queer people in any given situation) and instead because everyone else has the right to make a big deal about it and demand to talk about it and fully concentrate on it no matter what else is going on.

Coming out should not be big thing. It should not even be necessary.

That it is necessary to tell people "hey, you know, I'm not straight" or "hey, you know, I'm not cis" or any other thing people assume about others is a problem of our society. We are living in a heteronormative world. People complain about children being exposed to queer themes, but at the same time the toddlers in the sandpit--one a boy the other a girl--getting along great for the afternoon they are playing together, are called boyfriend and girlfriend. And then they are teased about their "crushes" (at least as long as it's a crush of the oposite gender, of course. In any other case they just really close friends and isn't nice to see such close friendships?).

No one should assume about any real person they see on the street, or in class, or at work, or on the news, or on TV what or who they are. But in the end all of us, the queer community just as much as everyone else, assume about people they don't know that they are straight and cis. Or they assume just by their appearances that they are decidedly not straight or not cis. (I just recently saw a meme: A picture of Christina Aguilera on a stage, and a comment beneath about "the horrors of men dressing as women" or something along those lines. That’s sad for so many reasons, but I think it very much showed the mindset of many people about how their perception is more important than anything else.)

It shouldn't matter. But sadly, it does. We live in a society where I was nervous at 16 when I told my mom "I like girls more than boys at the moment" because I had a horrible crush on a girl in my class when she asked me about dating boys (to then be told by my mother that it was a phase and would go away eventually. I haven't told her yet that it wasn't a phase but that I do use another label now). We live in a society where I used a friend's struggle with her family concerning her girlfriend to very carefully see how my dad would react to me talking about this at 21 and then blurted out "I know how my friend feels because Mom was horrible when I told her I'm bi" (to then break down in tears when my dad just shrugged, said I hadn't told him anything new about myself or my mom and if my friend and her girlfriend needed any help).

I wish we lived in a world where sitting at a café with a relatively new friend and just mentioning "this woman I once dated" without it interrupting the conversation at all was normal. And where it is just as normal that this friend shared a little while later "that's why I mostly dated women before meeting my husband" again without it interrupting our conversation in any way. Our hug when we said goodbye might have been a little bit longer and a little bit tighter than is usual, but other than that it was not a big deal coming out to each other at all. I, for my part, didn't even think about it being a big thing because I feel comfortable and secure with this friend.

I wish we lived in a world where coming out wasn't even necessary.

I wish we lived in a world where others wouldn't make assumptions based on what others look like under their closes, or about who they love, or about who they find attractive, or about who they fuck. Where people wouldn't judge how people style themselves and how they look and what the scale might show about their weight. I wish we lived in a world where none of that mattered. I wish we lived in a world where a man showing up with a boyfriend or showing up single to any event would be as much talked about as a man showing up with a girlfriend: that there would be no talk about it at all.

We don't live in such a world. And when I look at people saying Buck was disrespectful and misogynistic (really, what??? Are people once more just throwing around random words to see which of them will stick?) by coming out at his sister's wedding, I know my nieces and nephews and probably even my grand-nieces and grand-nephews won't ever experience such a world. Because instead of working to normalize being queer, people are doing exactly the opposite. (And then of course the anti-queer laws we are seeing pop up again at the moment, but that's another topic.)

All that despite 9-1-1 showing us at least a glimpse of that world I wish we could live in.

We saw Buck struggle with some internalized homophobia, of course. Because I think that's exactly what his nervousness during the first date and his panic when Eddie showed up was about. We know that Buck isn't homophobic in the slightest. We have seen him interact with enough queer people in the course of the show to know that about him. But clearly, there was a tiny voice in his head--and I'd bet money it sounded very much like Margaret Buckley's voice--telling him it was shameful to date a man. He worked through it very quickly and I think that's a testament of how much he did work through the bullshit his parents planted in his head in therapy. And it might also be a sign of how much he really likes Tommy and wants to be with him that he managed to work through that hateful voice in his head in just a couple of days.

But then we also saw that coming out is very much not a big deal at all at the wedding. I fully believe Buck knew about the soot on his face (Come on guys, he's been a firefighter for over seven years. He worked in a forest fire at least once. Buck knows exactly how soot travels and how difficult it is to get rid of it again.) He chose to have the soot all over his face to show everyone how he had greeted Tommy. He dragged Tommy into the room holding his hand. He took that slight breath to prepare himself for any reaction and then beamed over his whole face. There was no spoken announcement, but it could still not have been louder. I'm sure, if everything had gone according to plan (and Tommy hadn't been stuck fighting a fire) there wouldn't have been any big announcement then either. They'd just have danced among all the other couples dancing at the wedding and let everyone else make their assumptions about it.

And everyone else just reacted like I wish it would always go: They smiled, happy to see Buck happy, and turned back to the main event. No one talked about Buck and Tommy. No one asked Buck and Tommy any questions. No one turned to Buck and said "But you've always liked women!" or asked "Were you hurt by a woman? Is that the reason you are turning to men now?" or accused "You should have told us an age ago! Why didn't you tell us? How dare you not to tell us!".

It was such a fucking beautiful coming-out scene. Because it was full of acceptance and support. And at the same time, it also showed that coming out really isn't a big thing. It showed to beautifully that it doesn't matter who he loves or who he dates.

Buck coming out to the rest of his friends and family was not noteworthy at all among all the events of that day. Because he's found great friends and a great family in LA and all that matters for them is that he is happy with the person he is dating.

So, I would like to ask those people who say that Buck should have gone around and come out to everyone before the wedding because doing it the way he did was stealing his sister's big day (and why only his sisters, anyway? Why not also Chimney's big day?) something: If Buck had brought a new girlfriend, should he have gone around to everyone to inform them about that first? Maddie knew about Tommy, I think Chimney might have known before getting sick. Aren't those the two important people on that day and the only ones who need to know, at least that he was bringing a date?

And also: Should have Hen and Karen gone around to all the guests who don't know them and come out to them? Which includes the Buckley parents. If Josh brought a date, should he have gone to everyone and inform them first about bringing a man as his date? Or to take his one ridiculous step further: Should have Athena and Bobby gone around to everyone who doesn't know them closely to tell them they are an interracial couple? (Because there are people who would still find that scandalous and could have made a scene! No matter that they are currently attending the wedding of another interracial couple.) Why have these couples the right to assume that no one will talk about their relationship when the focus should be on the bride and groom, but Buck and Tommy don't have that right? Just because it's new for Buck? Rally?

(And I'm aware that the people who I'm asking this question probably quit reading this text after the first 100 words or so. They probably didn't get 1.7k words into my essay to get to these questions. And that might just be another problem in this fandom discourse: Certain people are just not open to take the time and energy to openly and honestly deal with opinions that don't agree with their own opinion. Because that could mean having to change their own opinion, right?)

[miserypanic]

I've seen other people write their own experiences with being aroace, and that inspired me to write my own 🙏 I'm not typically a writer, so I apologize if this is disorganized.

When I was pretty young, I had a best friend who was also a guy, so people just assumed we were dating. And I guess that convinced us we had to date because we thought that's what boys and girls who were close were supposed to do?? Looking back, that mentality is very stupid, but I was also a child 💀. Skip a few days, we kissed, and I didn't feel anything!! 🤗 I literally scrubbed my lips after, and if that doesn't say anything, idk what does LMAO

A couple of years later, I thought I was bi because out of nowhere, girls were more appealing to me than before. I identified as bi up until 13 years old, when I realized I wasn't attracted to boys at all, so I told myself I was a lesbian. That only lasted for about a year and a half because I was confused again. I was unlabeled/confused for a while too, until I started accepting that I'm aroace. Through it all, I knew I was asexual but I was also sort of in denial.

It didn't help that whenever people asked who I had a crush on, I always said "nobody" and people's response to that was "you're lying" what. who are you to tell me that?? 🤨🤨 I've never had a crush on anybody, and from the looks of it, I probably never will. I hate that whenever I explain my thoughts to someone, they act like they understand and then somehow completely forget or disregard what I've told them. I think that's been the most frustrating thing, not having anyone who understands or at least listens to me.

Some aroaces have been content with that they've felt this way since they realized that's what they were. I, however, have felt like something was wrong with me because other people made me feel that way. I thought I was missing out or something, so I tried convincing myself to have crushes on people because that's what Im supposed to do, right? no, dumbass, it's not!! Crushes come naturally, and my ass didn't realize that/was in denial. 13 years old, I convinced myself that I had a crush on this girl, and I asked her out. She said yes, then not even a day later, I thought I should break up with her because I didn't feel anything like I thought I did. After a couple of weeks, she broke up with me, and I forgot exactly why, but I was entirely content with it.

The attraction that I do have, though, is aesthetic attraction. I definitely think some people are nice to look at, but I wouldn't date them or do other things that aren't solely platonic. I didn't know aesthetic attraction had a label until very recently (that would've helped me realize my identity a lot sooner 💀) Last year I thought a guy in my class was attractive and I got nervous around him because he intimidated me so I thought I had a crush on him. I didn't 😁. I just thought he looked really cute. It was kind of a letdown, but I didn't stress over it after I realized it. If anything, I saw it coming.

What made me realize I was aroace was the question: "Would you date this person or do sexual things with them?" It's always no. "Would you hold hands with or maybe kiss them?" Hell yeah!! As long as it's platonic. The thought of being in a romantic or sexual relationship is unappealing to me. Romantic/sexual relationships feel forced, and there are certain rules you have to follow to stay together (at least it appears that way), but in platonic relationships, the only rule is human decency. I've always valued platonic relationships more, and I wish other people did too.

[breealtair]

Okay so I've read a fanfic once upon a time where Steve was dragged to a school performance of Rocky Horror Picture Show by his gremlins who are attending to support Eddie who is playing Dr. Frank'n Furter and Steve has his bisexual awakening seeing Eddie in fishnets and a corset. And it was fantastic.

HOWEVER.

Imagine if maybe Steve was in the production. Hear me out. In a world where Steve and Robin became friends before he graduated (or maybe it's a midnight shadow cast at the local drive in), Robin has been cast as Riff Raff.

(listen the the theatre department at my college has a tradition of putting on a shadow cast every year and we have always cast a female presenting queer person as riff raff and its literally the hottest riff raff can possibly be and Robin has the same vibes of the people I've seen in the role she would totally rock it)

Anyways, Robin is cast as riff raff and she some how drags Steve into being in the show. I'm imagining either they didn't have someone to fill the role OR Nancy was cast as Janet and it was a poor attempt at trying to get her best friend back together with his ex.

And of course there is Eddie as Frank'n Furter and working with him in such a way throws Steve into the deep end of his bisexual awakening (plus the two gross close together)

Now here's the thing. I'm torn between Brad and Rocky for the Role that Steve would be cast in.

Because on one hand, Steve being Brad while Nancy is Janet would be great because of the the bedroom scene and the parallel of Brad and Steve both having their bisexual awakening while trying to maintain the heteronormative expectation of staying with Nancy/Janet.

But on the other hand! Steve as Rocky is both hilarious and so great. For one, I had the joy of co directing a shadow cast and we cast a himbo football player who had no idea what Rocky Horror Picture Show was. His gay friend in the department told him he had to audition and he did so no questions asked. His LIP SYNC audition was Tequila by the Champs which only has one word in the whole song and he basically stipped down to his underwear (without our prompting) and shimmied around the room for the whole song. So I know the joys of having a jock himbo cast as Rocky. It's a delight. His football friends came to see the show and were scandalized. He was so confused by everything that Rocky Horror is. He really bonded with my best friend who is gender queer as fuck and played Frank'n Furter. I saw him discover some stuff about himself. He rocked that corset. A himbo jock as Rocky is top tier (only to be out done by the time we cast a female cosplayer who had just taken a weight lifting class and was able to dead lift a man twice her size). So imagining Steve as Rocky also fits just as well and still lends to the "trying to set Steve up with Nancy" bit because, you know, touch a touch me exists.

Some more food for thought is the time that my school cast two gay best friends as Janet and Brad except they cast the lesbian as Brad and the gay boy as Janet. The chemistry between the two of them and the way they were able to truly performe a peak satire of gender norms from a crossdressing perspective was truly amazing. That was truly a fantastic time and I could totally see a fic where Robin was cast as Brad and Steve as Janet.

Basically what it comes down to is that, I've seen a couple of fics in which Eddie is Frank'n Furter and Steve watches the show, but I have yet to see a fic where Steve somehow winds up in the show and has to face his bi awakening in the most tactile and face to face way possible.

So I need help.

One, which role would be the best role for Steve? (One plays into the jock himbo vibes, the other into the hetero facing his bisexual awakening, and the last plays into the platonic with a capital P soul mates vibe)

Two I need someone to actually write this fic (or all three versions of it honestly.

(Honestly. I feel like Steve would play Janet with Robin as his Brad only after he had been in the show once and felt more comfortable with the show and himself. I also think that him as Rocky would make sense because it would be the role that all his friends who were familiar with the show would push him towards. Meanwhile, maybe Nancy and Jonathan are cast as Janet and Brad and the whole "rocky stealing Janet away from Brad" thing would be part of the "get your girlfriend back scheme" on Robin's part.)

[theoldlesbianwithcats]

prev anon here: the article is far too long, but i quoted the section. this article is from the 1970s, but it was reprined in this issue on the request of some other reader, so there are women who still think this way.

"HOMOSEXUAL – This word should also, in my opinion, be erased from our language: les-bian language. According to Webster’s Dictionary, the homosexual is one who has, or “exhib-its sexual desire toward a member of one’s own sex.” As has been pointed out by others before,such a definition puts the total emphasis on the sexual aspects of our lives – homosexuals aresimply sexual beings (i.e., resulting in such questions as “What do they do in the daytime?”).Calling ourselves homosexuals almost seems to reinforce the stereotype that lesbians are over-sexed women who will be “cured” (sic) as soon as they meet the man (penis) capable of fulfillingtheir vast sexual desires. Another possible misleading undertone to the word homosexual is theimplication that female homosexuals are attracted to women in the same manner that males areattracted to women. Of course, the primary reason a man is attracted to a specific woman isbecause of her physical beauty, and I doubt lesbians love women solely for their physical charac-teristics. And despite what the general public believes, generally a lesbian who’s attracted tosome woman acts nothing like most men would (i.e., whistle, grab, put the make on, hustle, try toscore, etc.). The term homosexual almost implies that lesbians feel and act like straight men,since both simply “desire” women, but thankfully this is far from the truth. In her book LoveBetween Women, Charlotte Wolff states that a lesbian would more correctly be labeled “homo-emotional” rather than “homo-sexual,” making the important distinction of placing the emphasison the emotional, instead of the physical, part of her orientation. Yes, I enjoy sex with womenmore than I did with men, but that is basically because my emotional relationships with womenare so much more intense and fulfilling than those with men could ever be. It is because of theserelationships that I am a lesbian; I am not a homosexual."

"i am not a homosexual" we know lol.

"homoemotional" really in every generation bisexual women were busy inventing the split attraction model because they simply dont understand that bad or boring sex with men because men are shitty to women does not make them lesbians, preferring sex with women does not make them lesbians.

this whole argument is so dumb i dont even know what to say. its like when you tell TRAs a woman is a female so they respond with "oh so you think woman are breeders?" um no? also how is saying lesbians are attracted sexualyl to women implying they need penis to satisfy them? disgusting and stupid.

i understand why homosexual is the one word all gay and lesbian people are increasingly using, because all these fakers and appropriaters hate it.

Thank you! :)

As always, polilez can't help projecting their own feelings and showing how lesbophobic they are. Being homosexual is being sex-crazed, shallow, etc. and of course they denounce the lesbophobia of lesbians having a supposed male exception... even though they had sex with men and call themselves lesbians anyway (In a way, "abusive men made me a lesbian" / "comphet made me have sex with men" are just negative variants of "lesbians have male exceptions")

In my case, I was thinking of a big proponent of political lesbianism in France and Europe, Alice Coffin, who said in her book Lesbian Genius (right after talking about her ex-boyfriends...): "I am not lesbian because of orientation or attraction, like the wind veers north. Lesbians are not homosexuals."

(Speak for yourself, dumbass!)

So many bi women think preferring women or being disappointed in men makes them lesbians, and they outnumber us so easily that they can enable each other and marginalize us... I've even seen fakebians have an obvious crush on a man and being told by other "lesbians" that its doesn't mean anything and it's comphet! How does that confusion help anyone??

Homosexual doesn't have any ambiguity, which is definitely a good thing, but I don't want to abandon the word lesbian either... (and I think gold star sounds cute!)

[iplaywithstring]

In 2020 my daughter (then 13) told me she had been looking at some stuff and she thought she might have ADHD. I had not considered this possibility before she brought it up, but with about 5 minutes of reflection, it made sense. We were already running on the assumption that my husband (her dad) has ADHD and our home had a lot of adhd-friendly ways of doing life and honestly some signs (time blindness, fidgeting, hobby-hopping, distraction) were overlooked.

Being that it was 2020, everything was slowed down and backed up, but being people with privilege, we were able to pay for a private psychologist to do a full assessment. It took about 3 months and ended up with a generalized anxiety disorder diagnosis and an evaluation that boiled down to "she probably has ADHD but she does really well in school so deal with the anxiety first and see if that fixes things". Took that to our GP, who basically said "I don't know what to do with this" and prescribed Prozac, which increased her anxiety so we stopped it and asked for a referral to a psychiatrist.

It took almost 18 months to get the appointment - meanwhile she had no supports, no treatment, and no follow up from her GP. At that appointment, the Dr revised her diagnosis - she absolutely has ADHD, but she's good at school, so no need to treat it. However, because she didn't respond well to the prozac and she "gets really sad sometimes" (that was actually the question he asked, no probing, or clarifying, just "do you feel really sad sometimes", to a 15 year old!), prescribed a mood stabilizer because she might have a mood disorder (bi-polar disorder). My husband (who was there for the appointment - I wasn't able to go) was so shocked and confused he just said thank you and left.

We did not fill the prescription for the mood stabilizer. No issues with taking medication when needed, but she showed no signs of excessive mood swings - she had also just had her first break up a couple weeks before the appointment. While waiting for the follow up (where I planned to advocate for treatment for the actual thing he said she had, not the theoretical maybe thing she might struggle with) I saw ads for a private clinic specifically for ADHD diagnosis and treatment. I was nervous - I've got medical trauma (it comes with chronic illness) and did not want to be seen as shopping around for pills for my kid, or ignoring medical advice, or any of the other things that would make getting her treatment more difficult.

So my husband went first - made an appointment, filled out the forms, got a diagnosis and treatment plan. It was so easy and affirming and validating for him, and since starting the treatment he's been so relaxed! He might also be able to stop his anxiety meds (he also has a GAD diagnosis, which might be wrong based on how inattentive type ADHD works).

My daughter had her first appointment this week, it felt so good. She was heard and understood. Her experience and struggles weren't overlooked. She was validated. The NP doing the appointment even mentioned how it's harder for intelligent kids to get diagnosed because they are able to mask so well and too many people just look at school performance. She has a follow up next week to go over a treatment plan. The NP even said she would look at medications not in pill form as my daughter has issues swallowing pills.

I can't express how excited I am. She's 16 now, in grade 11, and things have been so much harder on her in the last year. I'm hopeful that between the treatment plan and coaching, the transition to university will be gentle and she won't face the same breakdown so many people (especially women) with ADHD go through in early adulthood. I'm hopeful this will help her to see her strengths and to not feel so overwhelmed and broken most of the time.

It took far too long and was much more difficult (and expensive!!!!) than it should have been to get to this point, but I am so glad we have a plan now and that she feels good about it!

[spurgie-cousin]

I came out as bi to a small community I am in my university. It's only online, but I'm happy that I can finally admit to myself that I'm not straight. It was a lot of pain and stress when I first realized about it (thank you homophobic family) but I'm finally at a point where i accept it. I think I actually anonymously messaged you about struggling with it 3/4 years back.

I can really relate to this!! When I was growing up in a small town, I knew no openly gay people and everyone was just kind of homophobic by default as far as I knew, including my family and church community, so I was also. There was also zero representation for queer women anywhere, especially bi women, so I didn't even know women could like other women AND like men lol. I just assumed when I had a crush on a woman I just really, really liked her for.....some other reason? I wanted to be her friend maybe? I don't even know what I told myself lol.

It's been liberating to just be able to admit it to myself and a few others and that's ok for now. I'm not out to most of my family yet bc I just don't want to open that can of worms rn. I hope it has felt that way for you too!! I know it can be hard when you've been conditioned to think about queerness in a certain way for so long but I've come to have such respect and love for my fellow bi folks out there, I'm very proud to be a part of that community these days 😊. The human spectrum of sexuality is beautiful and fascinating. I hope coming out to others helps you feel more seen and more grounded in your sense of self. 💖

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hii!!

How are you? I hope you're doing fine. Letting you know that i love your blog sm and you as a person? chef's kiss.

I've seen you helping out people and giving advices and i've read all of them. i really adore you doing so.

I too wanted a advice/help. I've been stressed out of this lately and i know for a fact that i myself am doing this to myself but i still can't help but spiral and am not able to come out of this.

so the thing is i am straight.

i am in a lot of fandoms like the marauders, and too a lurker in lgbtqia community it's cause i always have been the type of person to learn and seek things. if there is something new i want to know about it. i want to be educated on everything and be familiar with it, know people's opinions. and coming in lgbtq community was something of that sort too. (i love it here you all are so sweet and the nicest people i've met) i was curious and i wanted to be comfortable with and to see is there something so wrong that i see my friends (homophobic) talk shit about it. (i remember this girl, she told my friends that she was bi and they were like uhm..i felt so bad for her and that was when i realized that i felt nothing odd about her liking girls? like it seemed normal to me and kind of made me furious that they were acting like that when it was not a big deal. and after that i started learning about all this cause i wanted to be familiar with it, know about other people's opinions) and now here are we.

I read bls, gls, ship queer ships, a huge supporter of lgbtq community, friends with good people.

but recently i've been spiraling due to being straight. yk being in this fandom, i don't say that straight people can't be in this fandom. but uh i've seen others say that and it haha makes me feel like i'm catfishing?

i've always tried too hard to fit in. so...recently i've been forcing myself to fit it the queer community, be a queer. (i hope using this word isn't disrespectful) i've been seeing that i kinda am 'trying' to like women. (ofcourse before too i pointed out omg she's so pretty and all but not in that way but now maybe i'm forcing myself to do so)

idk how to more put what i am feeling in words. sorry for the long ramble hope it made somewhat sense?

do you have some advice for me...?

Hi hon!

Okay, so I'm gonna say some stuff that I think you need to hear:

You do NOT need to have any sort of sexuality to be in any fandom. There is no bouncer checking your id at the entrance of tumblr. You can be any sexuality and it is VALID.

As far as being queer. I mean, I can't tell you if you like women or not. But...you can find someone pretty and not be attracted to each other.

I think you need to take a deep breath and remind yourself that whatever your sexuality is, is is valid, and people should accept you for it. Then...start reflecting to yourself about what you find attractive. And if you're not sure yet, that's okay! It sounds like you're young, and you have all the time in the world to figure it out. It sounds so cheesy, but: Instead of trying to fit in with others, try to stand out as you. Figure out who you are, you know?

(Also, I would just say, because you mentioned it...sometimes people do find offense to being referred to as "a queer" versus "being queer." It sort of depends on the person.)

Let me know if you need to talk! <3

(Also I am naming all the anons who write to me in case they want to write in the future, and I am using a random positive affirmation generator to do so. So I dub thee: sophisticated anon. Enjoy your free tag!)

[gvftea]

Okay, so I usually stay silent whenever I see this trypa thing, but I'm gonna jump on here to say: As someone who actually read the article and didn't just skim it, the part that a few of y'all are all refering to (Josh clarifying he is a gay man) Isn't what was said??

Here:

He cites Elton John’s fashion, and the self-assured qualities of Queen’s Freddie Mercury and Judas Priest’s Rob Halford, as guideposts in his own journey, and he happily recalls what a 60-something Greta Van Fleet fan commented online after Kiszka came out. “He said, ‘You know, as a gay man, when I was younger, it would have made my life a lot easier if a lot of my heroes like Freddie Mercury or Elton John had come out earlier. It would have saved me a lot of strife,’” says Kiszka.

Josh happily recalls a comment from a gay identifying greta fan in their 60's after he announced his own coming out.

My reason for posting all this? It really doesn't fucking matter what title Josh goes by. Obviously, we will all love and respect him no matter what, because we love him for who he IS. But for me, what sparked this need to jump on the band wagon here is the unnecessary amount of nastiness and hate towards one another i've seen regarding his "label". I've seen a few posts saying things along the lines of "Ahaha Josh is gay! You bitches never stood a chance!" and it's like, why do you feel the need to use your misinterpreted understanding of this article to shoot other people in this community down like that? Do you enjoy trying to be hurtful just for the sake of it?

Firstly, there are people here who believe Josh may fall under the bi/pan umbrella (again, it doesn't matter), and this is fine! In the same way, it's absolutely fine to think he may fall under the homosexual umbrella. What we've learned, however, is that with our limited knowledge, what is NOT okay is to take his coming out and slap a label on him when he never specified anything. Who are we to make those assumptions? We need to stop this.

Second, to the comments shitting on others in this community with the "You never stood a chance" comments, why does it matter so much? Live and let live! I understand that it works vice versa, and there are comments shooting down the "Josh identifies as homosexual" posts as well. But again, as I mentioned before, we have nothing to really go on regarding this because Josh never told us. These comments just need to stop on the part of both parties. We all should be able to have opinions/beliefs without attacking each other over conflicts of opinion! Josh has always advocated for safety, unconditional love, and peace. I'm sure if he knew we were at each other's throats over something so trivial, he would be disappointed, to say the least. My point being, we're all entitled to think what we would like and deserve to be respected and respect each other. If we're not hurting anyone with whatever opinion we decide to have, that's all that matters. Let's all just continue to spread peace and live our legends through the intelligence of love, shall we? That's what he'd want anyway.

- Just providing some love and comfort in a place that needed it ♡

TLTR SUMMARY: Stop being mean to eachother! Labels don't matter! We're all a family! Continue to support Josh and the boys by helping them spread their legacy of peace, love and unity! Be kind! Where there is love, we must live on, and where there is not love, we must provide it! Keep the peacful army, peaceful! ♡

Anyway, it's been real pals, sending love, light and blessings to you all 💛

[creativia10]

Hunter wants Bi culture swag

Luz comes across Hunter on the laptop with a familiar internet search one night. This leads to her helping him find which bisexual culture trends he wants to follow. One way they bond over both being bisexual.

Warnings: None apply that I can think of

Wordcount: 1085

Notes: (title pending) Hunter is bi! This is inspired by my own internet search I've had before.

Disclaimer- I know not all bisexuals are going to dress like this, and I'm not saying they do.

If anyone is interested in making fanart of Hunter dressed like this, feel free! I would love to see it.

Luz came into the kitchen for a glass of water and was surprised to see Hunter bent over the laptop at the table.

“Hey,” She said, “I’m surprised you’re still up.”

Hunter jolted in surprise and then shot Luz a sheepish look.

“Heh, sorry. Your mom said I could borrow this, and I was unsure if I could take it somewhere else.”

Luz nodded. She knew Hunter was often nervous about things he was allowed to do. Especially around an adult he didn’t know too well yet.

Luz pulled up a chair next to him at the kitchen table.

“So, what has caught your interest?” She asked.

Hunter sighed and turned the laptop around to show her his search. Her eyes widened at a familiar google search.

‘Common Bi culture trends’.

She looked over to him. He threaded his fingers through his hair a bit nervously.

“I was thinking about how you ‘came out’ to your mom as bi. We don’t really have anything like that in the Boiling Isles. It’s not considered a thing. People usually don’t care who you’re attracted to. I don’t quite get why it’s like that in the human realm, but there being a supportive culture behind it seemed nice. For others who share such attractions. So, I thought I’d look into ways I could try and fit for what relates to me. I don’t know if that seems silly at all…”

He looked away and fidgeted with his hands.

“No, it’s not silly at all,” Luz reassured. “Trust me. I understand wanting to connect with others who share something in common with you.”

Hunter shot her a smile at that.

“So what were you thinking?” Luz asked.

Hunter shrugged.

“There’s a lot of stuff here about what are common bi-culture trends, but I guess I wasn’t sure. I would like to do something though.”

Luz hmmed and looked over what he had pulled up. She had definitely seen some of these with other queer kids at her school. She had been too afraid to interact with some of them before. Given how bad interactions with kids had gone at other times. But, she thought she could still help Hunter with this.

“Tell you what, how about we get some sleep, and I’ll help you with this tomorrow. We can do a mini bi-makeover if you want. Maybe we can even go shopping.”

Hunter smiled at her and yawned a little.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

The next day, Hunter and Luz got planning. The other hex squad kids continued with their Spanish lessons in the meantime. The duo looked over a list they’d gathered from the internet and talked over what Hunter thought he would want to do.

The first order of business was working with what they already had. Luz made sure to give Hunter the bisexual rainbow patch she had. For the sweater he had been sewing a bunch of patches on already.

They did end up going shopping. Luz’s mom had inquired about what they were up to today. Luz simply told her mother that Hunter had wanted to go shopping, and told her that it was partially a surprise.

 Hunter got a pair of jeans so he could roll them up to wear cuffed jeans. Hunter tucked his shirt into his jeans. He also got a tannish leather jacket to wear. Luz had given him her extra bisexual flag colors pin, which he put on the leather jacket.

Then there was the eyeliner. Luz remembered seeing that some bisexuals liked to wear eyeliner that was blurred a bit.  She wasn’t sure if Hunter would want to do that one, but he’d seemed interested.

Luz didn’t wear makeup often herself, but she thought she could help him with this. She watched a girl’s tutorial on how to do it on tik tok before attempting to recreate it on Hunter.

There was also nail polish in the colors of the bisexual flag Luz got just in case. Hunter looked at them curiously but decided to pass on it for now. It was a bit too much of a change for his first time trying this out. Then, after all that, she guided Hunter to the bathroom mirror to see what he thought.

His breath caught as he looked at himself. He turned slightly to each side. His face was hard to read, but he didn’t seem upset at least.

He started to reach for his eye then stopped as though remembering the makeup would smear.

“It feels a bit more feminine than I’m used to. I don’t really have anything against it…but I probably wouldn’t wear it everyday.”

Luz nodded and smiled at him. “That’s fine. We’re just figuring out if you like this, right?”

He nodded. “Right.”

He continued to look on for a bit longer.

He smiled.

“I…I really like dressing to fit a part of my identity that is all my own. Something I don’t have to be ashamed about. I really like this.”

His eyes started to look a little misty, but he shook his head and blinked.

“Gah, I don’t want to ruin my eyeliner before I get a chance to show anyone.”

Luz shot him a sympathetic smile.

“Are you ready?” She asked.

Hunter nodded.

“Yeah.”

Luz got them in the living room. Hunter hadn’t wanted to make a big deal, but he also didn’t want to show them more than once in case the look wasn’t well received.

Hunter stood in front of them, smiling a little nervously.

“I uh, wanted to try and dress how some bisexuals do in the human realm. What do you think?”

Mom clapped her hands and shot him a big smile.

“You look great! Oh, congrats! May I hug you?”

Hunter gave her a startled look, but after a moment nodded. Mom then gave him a big hug.

“I’m so happy for you!”

The others also gave him positive comments about the look and coming out.

After Hunter returned from the hug, Willow nudged him with her elbow.

“Hey,” She said, “The new look suits you.” She then winked at him with a smile. Hunter beamed at her and his cheeks turned pink.

“Thanks,” He said with a bit of a squeaky voice. Luz smiled knowingly. Oh, she knew what that meant. She was happy for him.

There was still a lot unknown for them with the future. But Luz was glad her friend was able to find something now that made him happy.

[braveclementine]

Day 2~ 12:54 p.m.

Warnings: None, Readers under 18 can read this book.

Copyright: My OCs are Coach Yonce, Emma, Ila, Tempus, and Itty Bitty. I own these characters. I do not condone any copying of this.

The Guard told me not to eat the eggs again today.

I listened to him.

I wonder if I'll regret listening to him.

Before that, he asked for my name on the elevator ride. In return, I asked for his name. He didn't answer. Neither did I.

I wonder what he thinks about everything that's going on.

I still think he looks familiar, but not familiar as in well known to me. Familiar as in famous. But I can't imagine where I've seen him before.

Itty was still alive, and she wanted to team with another girl.

Her name was Emma. She was a girl around my age, nineteen to be exact. She had brown hair with purple streaks and was wearing mostly black, almost goth, clothes like me. And just like me, it was simply an avatar thing, not a reality thing.

She told us a little bit about herself as we attempted to distract ourselves from the horror on the screen. Today there had been many, many deaths. Three-quarters of them were from the ice tanks. But one of the younger boys had taken a bad hit from the hammer and hadn't gotten up.

She was bi-sexual, loved cats and Harry Potter, and was British. No wonder her and Itty were getting along so well.

I did know that my priority was Itty. I would save Itty over Emma. But if I had the chance to save Emma, I knew I would. After all, I was saving all of those that I could.

I could feel the guards eyes from a distance. I wondered why exactly he was trying to help me. Maybe he had a lot on me.

Like in the hunger games. People betted on those that they wanted to win. Maybe that's why he was trying to help me.

I wondered then if we were on cameras for others besides the other players. We had to be, right?

I wondered when the games would end.

The woman said that there could be an indefinite number of winners.

But then. . . how many games would we go through? Before they felt like stopping?

I did not go into the games today.

However, I did have to watch very brutal deaths, which made goosebumps stand up on my arms.

I was, however, mentally cataloguing everyone by their plays. Despite being some of the best Escape the Facility gamers in the world, they were- for the most part- terrible at the actual thing. Players messed up code so badly, it was no shocker that they were getting trapped in ice tanks left and right.

Killers swung the hammer either to hard or to little. People were either to stunned to get up when the manacle released them, or tried to fight it and was automatically killed by disobeying the rules.

People were constantly shocked whether they were player or killer for trying to move faster. The slow pace that we were forced at was probably worse than if we were allowed to run as fast or as slow as we wanted.

Not to mention, most of the people didn't work as a team- the way that it was done in the games. It seemed more like every man for themselves. There was definitely less saving others today than there was yesterday. But everyone had been hit with a hammer at least once- unless they had been the killer- and no one wanted to feel that blow again. Not at the expense of trying to save someone else anyways.

Dinner was a somber affair. We were severed in a different room- a smaller room. The table was much smaller and though all the seats were filled, there was the uncomfortable knowledge that there should have been more children- because that's what they really were- among us.

The guards were placed at even intervals by our chairs- as we were having steak tonight and I supposed they didn't want us trying to use our steak knives to kill someone or ourselves.

"No corn." Was a soft whisper in my ear.

I didn't eat the corn.

⬅️➡️

[deadxandxcold]

I'm at a point in my life where even while I'm working on myself to become better for myself. For my wife, though I try to make it for just me. There's no point trying to change for someone else because then it'll all fall apart if I lose her.

I've been working on being honest. Trying to not cheat. Trying to not give her reasons to doubt my actions and intentions to be with her.

I thought if I kept my browser and emails clean it meant I was doing good and I wasn't trying to stir up trouble. It did the exact opposite. I didn't think once that because that's how she found out last time it would only make me look ten times more guilty.

It hurts. She's told me that I seek the attention of older men ; anyone in general really besides her.

Even after I've found out maybe a little over a month ago, that my dad sexually abused me and exploited my body as a child to his friends. I continue to struggle to come to terms that my father wasn't as compassionate and loving as I'd like to believe.

I've been seeing a psychiatrist about my Bi-Polar II and schizophrenia symptoms. I have yet to find a stable medication combination to get my auditory and visual hallucinations in check.

My moods still fluctuate but it seems the medication I'm on makes my anxiety and depression run at a scale of 9/10 nearly every day. 10 being the worst pain.

I want to kill myself everyday. There's not a day I don't think about dying but I never have a plan or how I'm going to do it. It's scary… because I know it's just either going to happen or it won't.

When I verbally say I'm going to kill myself it's a desperate cry for help but I'm only seen as an attention seeker. I can't go to behavioral hospitals because I know by now, I'll never leave. And I'll lose myself more than I already have.

I have but one support and it's my wife. But I can't even count on her for help when she's stressed and frustrated with me. There's too much weight on her because I don't have any other people to fall on.

I can't trust anyone else to be there for me. To lean on. Anyone I've ever considered to be close either leave my life, or they distance themselves once I do open up. Even then, I'm only opening up to surface level. No where near how much I've opened up to my wife.

I feel estranged from my family. My mom claims to be there for me whenever I need her but I feel it's a front to just excuse her past actions of appearing to be there now for me. I don't believe she really understands what I'm suffering from.

Both of my brothers aren't even aware of what I found out about our father. Let alone what diagnosis I have for my mental illness. To be honest, I believe they don't care for mental illness. They likely just believe it's a mindset and you can just push it away.

I keep being told by my wife I don't have BPD even though I was diagnosed in a behavioral hospital. She believes I was misdiagnosed. It's frustrating since before I knew anything about BPD I always felt like there was something off about me I could just never find out.

I can't tell anymore if she's trying to be optimistic of me not having BPD according to her, or she's just in denial that I have an illness that doesn't necessarily have a cure but an extended solution with medication.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #088

(taken december 14th last year; uploading surveys done while gone)

Can you read lips? NO. I am *HORRIBLE* at trying to read lips, like I absolutely can't.

Do you have trouble feeling excited for other people when they receive good news? Oh absolutely not, I definitely get excited too!

Do you know anyone whose parents are homosexual? I know I have a mom friend who is bi, but she's in a relationship with a man currently. I don't THINK I know anyone full-on gay that's a parent?

Do you consider yourself patriotic? In what ways? Hell no, this country grosses me the fuck out.

Are you part of any online communities? If so, which ones, and how did you get involved in them? I'm in a meerkat RP circle, I'm an admin at the SH wiki (which I have been awfully neglecting lol oops), and I'm active in my WoW main's guild.

Have you ever purchased clothing that you were too afraid to wear? HA yes, when I was still a teen-ish I had this honestly really cute black crop top that just says "FREAK" and I only wore it for a single picture, lol. It would never fit me now. I actually think I mighta got rid of it.

What is your lover's middle name? He doesn't have one.

When was the last time you saw your last ex? Well I saw a PICTURE of us on Facebook like a day or two ago, and fucking finally FB allowed me to delete them. I haven't seen her in person in years and never want to again, either.

Who was the last ex you talked to? Sara.

Who is your best friend? Pick only one. My boyfriend Girt.

Who was the last person to flirt with you, other than your lover? Some random dude on dA, he got blocked real quick lmao.

Would it bother you if your lover flirted with other people? Uh yes???

What exes do you still associate with? None.

What is a topic that interests you so much that you could read about it for hours? Meerkat behaviorisms.

Are there any holidays that you hate? If so, which and why do you dislike them? Columbus Day because that man didn't discover jack shit. Thanksgiving (its roots anyways, it's definitely evolved) because it's a literal celebration of genocide and slavery, etc.

Do you have a secret that you’ve kept for a long time – years, maybe your entire life? If so, why haven’t you told anyone about this secret? Yes, and I don't tell anybody because they affect nobody, are entirely benign, and just really don't matter.

What was the very first social media site you signed up for? MySpace.

If you were in a coma, who would be making healthcare decisions for you? My mom.

What’s something you’ve done that sounds too crazy to be true? The only thing that comes to mind is how many times I've been admitted to psych hospitals; like I lost count many visits ago. I would estimate I've been like, six times. I feel like people who know that would expect me to be crazier than I am.

Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad and his wife do.

What’s your opinion on hunting? Trophy hunting? Fucking barbaric, repulsive, diabolical, just evil. IF however you are hunting for food and have a respectful, appreciative mindset of the animal, then I'm more okay with it than I once was, because here's the thing: that deer you killed out in the beautiful woods, and probably rather quickly, ABSOLUTELY had a better life than that mistreated, miserable cow that was raised simply to be killed and probably given LESS than the bare necessities. I want to emphasize though, mindset is so important here; I wouldn't support you if you were tracking a deer seeking the "thrill" of just killing it. Like in that case, get fucking help. Be very respectful and extremely appreciative of that animal's unwilling sacrifice.

Have you ever had a pet escape and run away? Oh my god I will never forget Teddy doing this one winter night in the snow. I was going BALLISTIC as my dad ran and later drove after him. If I remember well, he ended up being at the pond not too far from our place, which he and Dale (another old dog of ours) had run to before to play. Thank god he was okay, at this time he just still had good energy and was very into marking his territory and smelling EVERYTHING. He also really, really enjoyed the snow, he used to love zooming through it and just playing.

Do any of your exes know each other? Jason and Juan knew and didn't like each other (at least, I was aware Juan openly didn't like Jason, I'm not really sure if Jason felt anything about him). Tyler MIGHT have known either of them, too, I don't know.

What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? "Dinosaurs aren't real," especially when they add on, "Satan put those bones there to lead us away from God." You are PURELY fucking delusional.

Have you met that person that can get into your mind through a sentence? Yeah, Jason. Probably still to this day. He had so much goddamn power over my emotions without even intending it, and I feel like that hasn't fully gone away.

Have you heard of Jeffree Star? What do you think of him? Yes, I genuinely like him and who he's grown into and think his work ethic is fucking unreal.

Who do you think you have cried over the most? lol do I really need to answer this???????????

Do you hate celebrities with big boobs and have had plastic surgery? lol grow up?????? People can do whatever the fuck they want with their own bodies.

Is anybody in your family schizophrenic? If so, what is their life like? A half-sister is, but I've never met or spoken to her; I've seen literally a single picture of her in my entire life. I have no idea what her life is like. Sometimes it rears up to bother me more than usual, how Dad's only kids he interacts with at all are me and my immediate sisters... Even his other daughter Misty had to reach out to HIM when she and her children visited here to go out to dinner so he could actually meet them. Like, that shouldn't be his child's job. Misty is understandable bitter about how she grew up (her mother was absolute, total, 100% insane shit that couldn't even keep custody of her BECAUSE she was fucking mental, and Dad didn't take her), and I just wish she didn't have to be by Dad acting more like a dad to her. WOW welcome to the family therapy session y'all

What’s something somebody can do to make you hate them instantly? Say something inappropriate about a child came to mind first, but there's really a lot of other stuff, honestly. Just being a shitty, gross, violent, and/or forceful person.

Are there regular trains in and out of your town/city? Yes.

What was the last animal you saw, and was it a pet? Roman, right now, 'cuz he jumped up onto the desk to chill by me.

Have you ever watched an anime series, start to finish? Yeah, multiple.

Do you feel the need to rant about anything right now? If so, go for it. So my Tumblr account just RANDOMLY got terminated yesterday (I seriously mean it when I say I did absolutely, positively nothing whatsoever) and I'm rather annoyed by it. This has already happened to me once on my old account, and it took like around a week to get the damn thing back.

How many serious relationships have you been in? Three. Ish. I don't really know what to consider Sara's and my former relationship. Like I feel like we had genuine feelings and did some romantic things without much shyness or anything, but idk. Jason and Girt were/are SO much different from what she and I had.

Do you have a lot of regrets? Yes, and they fucking haunt me and refuse to let me go so I can maybe even mildly like myself.

Have you ever been so angry that you screamed out of nowhere? Yes. I know I've done this a couple times into a pillow, maybe other times without but idr.

Do you have any plans for Valentine’s Day this year? NEXT year I know I want to do at least a LITTLE something. Girt had Covid this year so we couldn't hang out that day and it super bummed me out, really.

What do you usually buy for snacks when you go to the cinema? Almost always popcorn, rarely some sort of candy.

Look to your left and name five things you can see. Presents for Ash's kids from Mom, the closet, the stand with the printer on it, paper shredder, and a cute piece of random artwork on the wall from who knows where.

Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing? bro get outta my bedroom

Who is your favourite YouTuber? Overall? It'll probably always be Markiplier, he's my idol, but I really haven't watched him anywhere near regularly in like... two years? His content just generally isn't my style anymore, but I still love him as a person to death. You know, I'm really not too sure WHO my active favorite is anymore. Maybe John Wolfe or Game Grumps, I really don't know.

Have you ever been hopelessly in love with a celebrity? Nah. I have my fangirl episodes, but "hopefully in love" has never been the right phrase at all. I know none of these people personally and therefore can't even truly LOVE them and have always known that absolutely nothing is ever going to happen between me and any random person on the Internet. I can just melt from afar lmao.

What was the last band shirt you wore? I'm quite sure it was Ninja Sex Party. Thankfully it doesn't say the name of the band on the shirt lmfao I wouldn't want to explain that ever.

How many pairs of glasses (not sunglasses) have you owned? I know at least three.

What color is your flash-drive? Hot pink.

What is your favorite color(s) of eye-makeup? B L A C K

Have you ever worn a thumb ring? Yes; that's where I put mine and Sara's friendship ring. Safe to say I don't have it anymore.

What brand of TV do you own? Uh I'm pretty positive it's a Vizio?

Are high school football games fun? Ugh, no. I used to have to go to them quite a bit when my older sister was a cheerleader. There were always wasps and shit around/under the bleachers, it was hot, too crowded, and I just had absolutely no interest in sports. They were also way too long to me. I know a lot of the time Nicole and I didn't even watch, we'd just go find something weird to do that generally involved getting dirty, meeting with other kids that were as bored as us, and going under the bleachers when we weren't supposed to lmao.

When was the last time you had a particularly hectic day? Oh hell if I know.

To whom do you feel the most important? Mom and Girt.

How long has your favorite song been your favorite? Since it came out early this year lmao.

Is one of your favorite colors yellow? No, I actually really don't like yellow.

How old are your siblings? Tbh I only have my two immediate sisters' ages memorized, which are 29 and 24. Others are in their 30s. Katie might even be close to 40, idr and can't math.

Ever had a fishtank in your room? No.

Do you drink more soda than anything else? Not anymore! It's generally flavored sparkling water.

Do you know anyone who wears camouflage often? my brother in christ I live in the SOUTH

How many jobs have you had? Three.

Do you hate your last ex? I VERY much don't like her, at all, but I'm past my "ugh I hate her" phase. I ain't wasting my energy on hating someone I never have to see or speak to ever again.

Are you ashamed of any of your family members? My uncle who my family no longer associates with. He's a fucking filthy slug of a human being.

Have you ever been in a courtroom? Yes.

Were you a chubby child? No, I was pretty normal.

Are you afraid to sing in front of people? Yes. To get you to visualize the sheer extent, in the over three and a half years Jason and I dated, he heard me sing ONCE, at church.

When did you last dance with someone? Uh with Sara a few years ago.

Do you feel awkward watching sex scenes? Yes, but not AS bad as when I was like, a teenager. I still do feel exceptionally uncomfortable if it's with my mom present, though.

Did you ever have senior photos done? No. I wanted to, we just... didn't, I don't remember why.

Do you attend church regularly? You literally could not even PAY me to go to church, never mind regularly. It's complete fucking brainwashing and greatly diminishes genuine, confident self-worth. I don't consider myself a Satanist, but even I can still say hail thyself, hunty.

Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? lol absolutely not.

Are you currently listening to music? Yeah, "Modern Love" by Mother Mother just started.

The person who last spoke to you in person, what is their name? Donna, but Mom to me.

The person who last texted you, tell me their name? Still Donna, lol.

What was your favorite class to take in school? Art courses and German.

Have you ever had a pixie cut? No, but I'd like one one day... Both my mom and hairdresser have told me I would look amazing with one now, which I really appreciated, but I just can't convince myself. I know it's a stereotype that fat people usually can't pull off short hair, and trust me it was ballsy enough for me to get it as short as it is now, I'd just be so obsessively paranoid that people would think I'm uglier with a pixie cut.

Is your signature legible? I think so, yeah.

If the person you like/love proposed to you right now, you would say? I know I'd say yes even though I know it's unwise to do so this early. Thankfully I'm pretty damn sure just given Girt's intelligence and dedication and strong pragmatism, he knows way better than to do that anytime soon.

Are you satisfied with your current camera? I sure am, and I'm actually pretty excited, I know Mom is ordering a pack of lenses (polarizing, ND, and UV) for it for Christmas!

When was the last time you felt ignored? Um idk. Probably during some family dinner at my sister's, I know I've been totally talked over adn brushed off more than once.

Is smoking an immediate turnoff to you? I won't ever attracted to a smoking man til I saw Richard Kruspe bro 😭 lol but generally yes, celebs don't count, right?

If given the opportunity, would you legally change your name? Nah, too used to this one and plus I like it.

Has religion ever come between you and a friend or family member? Yep.

Has anyone ever told you that you were worthless? Well, in fucking essence, Sara has.

If you jumped out the nearest window, would you live? Yes, very easily.

Is there an animal that scares you? I have a very intense irrational fear of larva, like maggots and stuff. Cicadas also notably freak me out, I can't handle their eyes. Whale sharks are another irrational fear, their mouths creep me out. Australian spiders like their funnel-web are freaky too.

When you get blood tests, do you feel faint afterwards? No.

Do you think you will have a date for prom? Whoa now buddy you are WAY late, lol. I went to Jason's senior prom and he went to mine.

Are you afraid of being cheated on? Not really, at least not with Girt. I hope this doesn't sound all arrogant or full of myself, but just factually, this guy wanted me way too long for me to even really WONDER if he'd cheat on me. He's directly told me he wanted to date in high school, but he didn't do anything because he was concerned what people would think of the age gap. Then Jason came along and he respected that.

Do you know how to play poker? It's actually funny, I did as a KID but don't now, hahaha. I really enjoyed it as a child, just obviously without monetary gambling.

Is your face shape oval, heart shaped or square? I genuinely don't know.

When was the last time someone asked you to go somewhere? When Girt invited me to his place Friday for his sister's birthday.

Do you have small wrists? Yeah; even with my size, my wrists are definitely noticeably small. Like I can slip those security bracelets off at the psych hospital (lmfao what a talent) or like the skating rink to show you paid.

Are you someone’s best friend? Girt always calls me his. <3

What’s the biggest annoyance in your life right now? The state of my legs, really. I'm gonna get on fixing this shit, I've had enough. It stops me from SO much.

Do you know anyone that smokes weed? I know one major pothead irl as well as one online; I'm certain others do it, but being a pothead is like, literally a major part of these two girls' personalities.

How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? A hell of a lot.

Thinking back to the person you fell hardest for, do you still feel that way? Nope.

If you’re a girl, what’s your bra size? Funny thing, I actually don't know. I know I'm naturally a C-something, but being my weight, I'm not at all convinced that's accurate right now. This is gonna sound wild, but I haven't had a properly-fitting bra in literal years; I just wear some that were Mom's that somewhat fit, but absolutely not properly, but enough to where it's not incredibly obvious with clothes on. I'm pretty sure I need something custom because if the cup fits, the back doesn't, and if the back fits, the fucking cup doesn't. It's extremely annoying, but bras are not cheap, especially when you're not a standard size.

Ever known anyone who did business with a prostitute? I have zero idea.

If your parents are divorced, how old are your step parents? Kim is a couple years younger than Dad, so mid/late 50s.

Do you like your step parents, or are they assholes? She's an intolerant bigot/obnoxious Christian, but she has good traits, too.

[TW: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE/ABUSE] Ever had an abusive parent or other family member? No, thankfully.

Ever walked in on your parents while they were getting busy? If so, how many times and how old were you? No; I find it SO hard to accept that my parents ever did have sex lmao, they were SO incompatible and just never got along, it seemed like growing up.

If you were to get pregnant as a teen, what would happen? Well, I woulda kept it, because at the time I was pro-life. Thank fuck this never happened.

Do you prefer broccoli or asparagus? Broccoli, I absolutely hate asparagus.

What was the last flattering thing someone did/said to/for you? Uhhhhhh let's see probably something Girt said, he honestly says stuff like that a lot. ;__; <3

Do you know anybody that believes that magic/witchery truly exists? Yep, my sister Misty to name just one.

Roughly how hot are the summer temperatures where you reside? Usually 90s, sometimes low 100s. I absolutely hate it.

[edoro]

Ship bingo: Lumiter

i really like Lumiter! i like Huntlow a lot too but honestly Lunter/Lumiter was my first love and i still have a huge soft spot for it.

let's break this down a bit by the dynamics here...

Lumity of course needs no introduction. absolutely classic. i love the way it was built up and how well they work together, how they try so hard to communicate and work through problems, how they've both had conflict and issues and are slowly learning to grow and be better people together, and just how much they like each other.

Amity's gradual crush on Luz is really cute, and tbh i can understand people who say they feel like Luz's side of it was a bit rushed, but i also think that Luz's like, just long-standing determination to Be Friends With Amity even after their first introduction was so horrible can easily be interpreted as her having a huge crush on this cool cute witch girl and just not even realizing her feelings were romantic for the longest time.

Lunter is a classic. oddly controversial for a protag/main antag ship, and while i'm sympathetic to people who feel threatened because they value Lumity so much, i must say that pretty much every vocal Lunter-disliker i've ever seen has been moderately to extremely biphobic about it, and uh i think we can definitely dislike a ship without implying or outright stating that lesbians are More Queer than bi people.

i really love their dynamic though! especially considering all the development we got of it in the back half of s2, but i mean, s2e1 and s2e6 were fucking classic. beautiful sequence of meetuglies. he threatened to boil her alive, she slapped him and called him a bad person, he licked her hand, she embarrassed him in front of the scouts, ten minutes later he's telling her his tragic backstory and visibly barely restraining himself from infodumping about wild magic to her because this is literally the first time in his life anyone has acted even vaguely interested in anything he has to say. What's Better Than This.

they have so much in common - being bisexual, being transgender in every possible direction at once, being incredibly neurodivergent (bi4bi t4t autistic4adhd) - they also both tend to minimize and repress their own feelings and devote themselves to others, seeing themselves as leaders of a sort who are responsible for everyone else.

plus they're also both absolute nerds but like, extremely chaotic about it. there definitely needs to be a strong element of rivalry or competition to their relationship. they're Best Frenemies. they're kismeses. they annoy the absolute shit out of each other but they also understand each other and have been through some serious stuff together and both really value and care about each other.

Luz has seen Hunter at his worst in a variety of ways and has still been there for him and offered him companionship and kept reaching out to him, and i think that's really good for him - he's spent so much of his life being told that he only has a limited number of chances, and like, nobody's patience is inexhaustible, everyone has limits, but for someone to just keep holding out that hand for him no matter how much he screws up? someone who believes so strongly in giving people the benefit of the doubt? just really good and meaningful, even if i think he also isn't sure how to engage with her because of the low points she's seen him at.

and for Luz, like, i think Hunter is someone who can act as both a restraining influence on her more out-there ideas and also logistical support - he can both tell her when she's being ridiculous AND help her turn her ideas into actual plans. he respects her abilities but wouldn't let her blindly rush off into or lead him into something dangerous.

one thing i also really like about Luz and Hunter is the potential for like, exposing her to his trauma. Luz has trauma of her own (another way she and Hunter can relate is their tendency to totally downplay the bad things that have happened to them), but i just don't see her as someone who's dealt with or is very familiar with the kind of intense, chronic familial abuse that Hunter grew up with.

she's a really optimistic person, and naive in some ways. she's surprisingly socially astute for her character archetype, good at figuring out how people feel and responding to that, really nuanced in her approach to even really shitty people who've hurt her personally - not in a way where she ignores the bad, but where she assumes people have good qualities too and just need the opportunity to display them. but that can also turn into not realizing when someone doesn't want to change, or won't change, or it's not worth it for her to try to change them or give them that opportunity.

and i think like, seeing Hunter and how he's been treated and what he's been through can sort of demonstrate that to her. just in general he's sort of her foil - he's living the fantasy chosen one life she wanted, and he's miserable, because it sucks actually. in some ways he functions as a reality check for her, or just like, shows her the downside of a lot of things that she thought she wanted. knowing him introduces another type of nuance, about the worst sides of people.

also, they are hilarious and extremely chaotic together. like they just manage to get into the weirdest situations. throw them into 1000 bizarre circumstances, i want to see it all.

and now for Hunter and Amity... i really love the two of them interacting. their relationship is very fascinating to me. they have so much in common, specifically wrt their trauma and the abuse they've gone through.

i think that it would be so valuable for the two of them to be able to talk to each other about that. it's something they've both been through that no one else can really 'get' the way each of them can, and especially when it comes to like, having complicated or positive feelings about their abusers, or even having complicated feelings about the abuse and the effects that it's had on them - those are just really difficult aspects of having been abused and they're things it's really hard to discuss with people who haven't been through abuse themselves, no matter how open-minded or non-judgmental or understanding they are.

they're also both just really serious, self-sacrificing, overachieving, perfectionist types - also perfect rivals in a way. i think that they'd make a great matched set of intimidating bodyguards for Luz. they know she can take care of herself, but they want to make it so she doesn't have to take care of herself!

i also think that they could be a really powerful source of support for each other about their issues and trauma, but there's also a lot of fascinating possibility for them to like, kind of encourage each other's worse traits - to reinforce each other's beliefs in existing as a tool for someone else, to egg each other on in driving themselves too hard, that sort of thing. Luz offers a very stabilizing influence here.

personally, i don't mind considering the two of them being sexually or maybe even romantically involved in a poly situation. i don't see the two of them ever being involved on their own*, but with Luz in the middle bringing them together, i can see it in a variety of ways.

i'm not an identity purist and i think that sexuality is fluid and complex and i'm more interested in exploring that than i am interested in writing about Amity Blight, Gold Star Lesbian.

maybe she's not attracted to him at all and refuses to even be in the same room while he and Luz mess around. maybe she has certain strict limits on how physically intimate she's willing to get with him in a threesome situation. maybe she's willing to do sexual stuff to/with him during a threesome situation, but pretty much only for Luz's entertainment. maybe having sex with him + Luz means that she feels horny for him under that precise specific circumstance, because he's there and she's there and she's horny and she doesn't mind directing it towards him when he's there along with Luz. maybe she's curious but ultimately not into him. maybe she doesn't like boys but she's attracted to his body. maybe he is just literally her One Exception. maybe she's a lesbian because her attraction to men is vague and theoretical and mostly based on fictional characters + her attraction to women is very real, visceral, immediate, and intense, but as she gets to know him she gets more attached and finds herself more and more attracted to him, but it's a very specific circumstance that isn't reflective of the broader trends and so she still considers herself a lesbian.

maybe she's not attracted to him but they've messed around for whatever reasons - curiosity, boredom, Luz wanted them to, they were both horny but Luz wasn't there, wanting comfort/intimacy, whatever.

maybe Hunter is transfem or fem-leaning nb and therefore is either a girl or girl-adjacent in a way that Amity is attracted to.

the point being, there's a lot of ways they could engage with each other sexually while also having a meaningful emotional relationship with each other, and i don't necessarily think that any of those 'erase' Amity's lesbian-ness at all - if someone wants to imagine her as like, a Kinsey scale 6 who would never even look at a nude man if she could help it, then that's certainly their prerogative and i don't think they're wrong to do so at all, but i think there's tons of room to investigate them being involved in a sexual + emotional capacity and for Amity to still be a lesbian, and just personally i find 'exploring the fluidity and complexities of sexuality and gender' way more interesting than setting up rigid boundaries.

(plus those boundaries inevitably like, declassify Real Actual Living People Some Of Whom Are My Personal Friends from their own sexualities, and i think that's pretty shitty.)