#I guess if you wanna know my personal journey I'd love to get into it!

[deoidesign]

Hello I stumbled across your profile and I just say I love your art style! I've gotta ask, how'd your develop it? And do you have any advice for someone who can't decide what they want their art to look like?

Thank you so much!

To be entirely honest, I don't feel like I truly "developed" my style. I feel a lot more like I finally let myself draw it! But I am incredibly deliberate with my work, and I do have clear tendencies and preferences... So I'll do my best to explain how I got to where I am now as an artist.

It's important to remember that "style" is something of a nebulous concept. It changes with you as you grow as a person, and most artists can work in and emulate many art styles! Art really is a form of communication with yourself, and your "style" is a reflection of the tendencies and preferences you have. My art does not look how it looked 5 years ago, and my art will look different 5 years from now too. I've changed, and my art reflects that!

(2012, 2018, 2023; two pieces I remember being incredibly proud of and considered my best work up til that point, and then my most recent piece)

What you need to do, as everyone will tell you, is study the fundamentals (anatomy, perspective, form and structure, lighting and shadow, color, and composition) so you have the proper tools to make the most informed decisions possible about your art, and so you can deliberately break or follow rules as you please for your desired effect. I know it sounds silly to learn rules if you're not gonna be following them anyways, but they help you be much more consistent and intentional! More knowledge is NEVER a bad thing to have!

However, I know it's a bit demoralizing to just be told to study fundamentals. Everyone knows you're supposed to do that, but it takes YEARS to learn, and people want their art to feel how they want it to now (which is very very very normal to want!)

So on that front, I have 2 follow up suggestions that I personally find helpful (of course, everyone is different, so it's not like this is the only way to learn! But, if it resonates with you, it might mean it will work for you too.)

1: Separate study from application

I believe this is beneficial for a few reasons:

If the goal of every piece is learning, it can become frustrating, overwhelming, and boring

It's harder to self critique when there are multiple variables to investigate. I like to study one fundamental at a time

Study (usually) works best with a large quantity of output, whereas application of knowledge (finished pieces) is often more satisfying and effective when you get to take your time

Deliberate practical application of what you've learned in a finished piece helps cement the learning in your mind, and also lets you get satisfying finished pieces with noticeable improvement after a good study session!

I've found that keeping these things separate helps me improve faster and more deliberately, and it takes a lot of the pressure off of both aspects! I'm not worried about my studies looking beautiful, they're just to learn! And I don't feel pressured to critique my finished pieces, cause they're just for fun and to make something pretty. I personally find this helps me have a much healthier relationship with my art.

When studying, copy! Copy things as best as you can, all the time. It gives you something to compare to for self critique (and of course, if you're copying someone else's work and you share the study, ALWAYS give credit, share the original, and say it was for study.) In application, don't copy: reference. Make it yours!

2: Let yourself do the things that feel "easy" or like "cheating"

This one is simpler: nothing in art is easy.

If something feels easy to you, most of the time it's not because it's actually any easier... It's because it's part of your natural tendencies and preferences! This took me forever to realize, but as long as you're actually doing some study, then you're learning. You don't need to learn All The Time. When you're doing the "application" portion, you should let yourself do whatever is actually the most fun and feels easiest! This is where your style will start to come through, and where you get to learn about yourself. Take the pressure off, and have fun!!!

The only cheating in art is theft. If you're not stealing, then it's allowed!

My whole life (and yes, still!) I'd get regular criticism about both my style and my subject matter. You will too. You'll see a thousand different styles, and a hundred different things to admire in each. Your heart will ache that you don't draw like others do.

But art is a form of communication with yourself. It's like your voice, or your accent; just something that's a part of you! It can be fun to mimic others', but when you sit to have a conversation you speak naturally. (I know some people want to and do change their voice, but this is a metaphor and metaphors aren't perfect)

Don't stress so much about what you want your art to look like, especially if you're not sure. There's a lot of value to be had in constant experimentation, I think it'd be rather boring to only draw one style the rest of my life. What I draw is what I want to see, right now, for who I am now! It's a part of me and comes naturally, if I let it!

I hope this helps!

[olivianyx]

UPDATES ON MY JOURNEY

Heyy all! I've been focusing on my senior professional medical year and it has been stressful. So here are some things I manifested effortlessly and a few things without me thinking about it. Long ass post ahead! ⚠️⚠️

1. Getting more pocket money than usual. Like my parents usually transact in my account like a $80 or $100 AUD per month. But in both feb and march this year, they transacted me $500 and $700 AUD! Plus! I occasionally find $10 or $50 cash in my classroom or on the streets sometimes (and they come lie next to my feet 😭) I'd ask everyone in my class if it's theirs, and they say no. What do y'all expect me to do? Like go and give it to the university management?? 😭 hell no, so i kept it lol.

2. MANIFESTED DIOR'S LIP OILS!! 😭😭 LIKE 5 OF THEM 😭 YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE OBSESSED WITH LIP OILS 😭😭 AND I WANTED THE RASPBERRY ONE SO BAD, AND GUESS WHAT? I MANIFESTED IT ALONG WITH 4 OTHER SHADESS OMGGG 😭😭😭

3. My crush giving me hints that she's obsessed with me 😭 like she literally told me 'you're so sweet and caring, I've never met a person like this after my grandma' cus her grandma passed away recently and she was so depressed. She even had an eye infection, so she stopped coming to the uni. So i had to make sure she's alright, and met her everyday cus she needed someone real bad. Like she needed to talk to someone and get that thing bothering her outta her head. I was there all along whatever she was going through (don't come at me y'all, ik if we help someone they would say all these things but she's my crush lol so) She's also getting real close to me, like she tells me how annoying people are lol. She loves skin ship, physical touch, being clingy around me, and complimenting me 😭😭 so these are the hints 😭 like friends wouldn't do that right? Would they?? (My friends diss me right in front of everyone 😶)

4. I've always been the type to care too much for the silliest things, nowadays I don't really put my energy into it and become all anxious. My anxiety levels have completely gone down like I'm literally cool asf?? Even while being in public?? Literally yess

5. Manifested getting my hair coloured next week! and my mom permitted me! For my cousin's engagement in april, I wanna be there like the hot younger sister I am lol. I just wanna make my relatives and their kids jealous cus they made fun of me when I was younger (my younger self has been dreaming for this moment) so why not a revenge glow up?? 😭

6. Losing weight even though I eat like a pig due to my study stress. Like literally I ate a 5 course meal one day and lost 2 kgs the next day? (cus I randomly checked my weight for 2 days cus I had to submit my height and weight to the university student records)

7. Getting a natural blush on my face! Like it's such a game changer, I look like a movie star y'all 😭✋🏻

8. My teachers complimenting me for my discipline and high scores. As yk uni professors don't even give af bout students and they complimented me??

9. Getting into a new friend group! My old one was too toxic and they would always bully me (verbally) my new friend group is literally soo damn enjoyable! Like they're the cool kids of the year 😭 and now I'm one too!

10. As I mentioned in my older post that I'm moving into an apartment. We moved in and it was too difficult for me to sleep as the place was new and also there we're disturbances in the night time like stomping noises or playing loud music at night. So the neighbors there were too sweet that they introduced and comforted us that it's okay and if something's bothering us they'll take care of it. And they literally made the people who we're causing those disturbances to vacate out 😭😭✋🏻

11. My hair getting shinier! It was brittle before as I was severely anemic, now my baby hair is back and it's shining ✨

12. I overheard my parents conversing that they should make me audition for an entertainment company....like what? 😭😭✋🏻 when I asked them once years back they denied giving me a 4 hour lecture and now they wanna make me audition?? Like literally 😭 y'all watch me at the Grammy's (after 5 years lol)

13. Getting into the void on command or intention.

14. I literally get free foods everywhere I go 😭😭

15. I got free gifts from my uncle who's living in France! He works at a fashion company and he sent me perfumes and a few outfits (I can't reveal it I'm sorry)

I ONLY WAS THINKING ABOUT GETTING MY LIP OIL, GETTING CLOSE TO MY CRUSH AND FOCUSING ON MY STUDIES. THE REST, I MANIFESTED WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT.

SO WHAT NEXT?

I've decided to respawn to my waiting next month. I'm still scripting how my waiting room should be... So it might take time for me. So till then I'm gonna be strengthening my self concept even more, and also getting more and more excited to be in my waiting room! I want my waiting room to be like a more like a sci fi movie and a princess fairytale combined 😭 (ik I'm weird). Like I just want my favorite anime characters to be there to help me script my DR ✋🏻 So I'm kinda in a more excited mode lately to script my waiting room! Will give you updates on how my waiting room will be in a future post! So until then take care, love you, byeeee byeeee!

- olivia 🤍

[dedfly]

....hm....what about affogato x reader post banishment? Like rn he is out of the Kingdom and out in the world...imagine if he happens to bump into y/n while he was out! Also to make this unique if ya want:

Say this y/n is....easily flustered, and easily melts to physical affection like cuddles...

(Bonus if ya also make them autistic to make em more relatable but if ya don't wanna do this bit, I understand. Just....ngl I'd be putty in this man's hands lol! Be his personal putty and/or teddy bear...sorry if I'm going on too long just Simp HARD for him!)

I love this I love this. Although I don't know how to word name for it properly uh well

Affogato cookie x reader

I think their dynamic what would bring them together would be two travelers sharing their journey, since it's technically bump into each other

† Actually it's a luck for him to bump into reader, because, damn, as soon as he starts with his usual type of speaking oh well

† Reader is out. Complete mess, very confused, flustered mess. Let's be real not many cookies act like Affogato

† And of course Affogato would find it amusing, he used to be admired, but never it was been so obvious to him

† Strangely enough he likes this type of dynamic. Who wouldn't? If it's goes so easily to him, why don't let his guard down a little...

† Yeah guess who let his guard down enough to actually fall very hard for reader?

Oh yeah my favorite dynamic fell first x fell harder. don't mind if I do

† Although it's quite clear since he started to get a bit handsy. He not going a good job hiding his crush on you

† And it's visible because he is standoffish, with mysterious aura, literally something mystical what you meet at your path, making you wondering if it's really a cookie and not some kind of spirit

† He just like an idol, something intangible and magical

† And then he occasionally started to brush your hair from your face, giving you his hand if when you pass a difficult section of the road to help you

† It would definitely gave you ghostly feeling of his hand touching yours for hours, even if it lasts a couple of seconds

† Yeah the just an aftermath of it would keep you up at night, his gloved hand touching your skin, the soft pressure of his delicate fingers... Making your heart flutter a bit

† He is so perfect, it's not even funny. While you are becoming a complete mess around him

† He would react actually quite calmly, on your flusterness, with a faint giggle, while he covered his face with his long sleeve

†And oh boy don't get me started on a first kiss

†The way he would carefully take your chin, lifting your completely red face to his. Despite the long adventure, his lips felt like luxurious silk against yours, even a little movement of his lips make you forget about the world around. Feeling just his lips and his soft fingertips still resting on your chin.

† Yeah...after this kiss he would definitely look at you like content fox, squinting his eyes a little, while his fingertips faintly touching his lips

† Affogato closed his eyes "How amusing, you not only look like a delicate flower, but even taste like the finest nectar. Now I envy the sun, I would love to be able to touch your lips every second you are in my light"

† As I already stated, he smells nice, feels nice and talk nice so imagine to cuddle with him

† His fingers slowly slide on your back, while your face completely nuzzle into his furr and silky cape, you touch it with your hand, running fingers through it.

† Actually I think he literally walking, talking, breathing antistress. He doesn't mind if his long sleeve been used as something you would use to calm down while you move the fabric between your fingers.

† Besides he is extremely good with helping if you happen to have a meltdow, not only because he so nice to the touch, what would make you ground a bit, but also he knows enough breathing and other practices which would help your mind to come in peace

†And I need to add one more thing. His fingers perfect to run through skin of your head, and overall he knows a thing or two about massages

†Besides since you are already literally melting in his arms, why not make it even more melting experience by adding his hands moving around your body

† Oh yeah speaking of bumping, then you bumped at him it was the phew occasions then his perfect aura disappear making him yelp in surprise

_____________

Uhhhhh I think I overdid this request

(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

I hope you like it

[celaenaeiln]

12 am anon here. okay so uh we havent talked about it cause i rly dunno how to tell them “yeah i think ur rly cute and i love it when you ramble abt the things you like and sometimes i do wanna kiss u” . anyways what songs do u think are dick grayson coded

personally some that come to mind are surface pressure from encanto, bad idea right and brutal by olivia rodrigo, and nerves by dpr ian. spring day by bts specifically when it comes to donna and wally and all his other dead loved ones

*older post I'm getting to now, 12 am anon and girlfriend are happily together, I just needed time to collate a list*

But that aside, you are literally the cutest. You make me so happy every time ;)

Surface Pressure, Bad Idea Right, and Brutal are all spot on!

I'd never heard Nerves before but now I've listened to it on repeat

Spring Day (eng ver) hadn't even entered my mind but now it won't get out.

Honestly all of Taylor Swift's and Olivia Rorigo's songs match Dick so perfectly

Orange are feel goods/exciting/dramatic story creation types

Blacks are sad/meloncholy/reflection songs about the darker side

I guess this is a Dick Grayson playlist.

Songs-

Come Hang Out by AJR - The Titans with Dick

You're Gonna Go Far Kid by The Offspring - self-explanatory.

Warriors of the Mind

You're on your own kid

This kpop song (anon knows, you might too)

My Version of You by Beth Crowley - reminded me of Tim and Dick's relationship when they fought during Dick's Batman era

Stop you're losing me by Taylor Swift - matches Dick fighting with Bruce

Unstoppable by Sia - reminds me of how the entire Superhero community relies on Dick and how he reacts in response

Let the Games Begin by AJR - is Dick constantly acting and ready for attention. Dick dealing with Gotham high society

Whatever It Takes by Imagine Dragons - embodies him in his entirety. If there's one song that defines him, it's this for me.

Toxic Thoughts by Faith Marie - Him struggling with his insecurities of breaking his own records

Welcome to the Show by Britt Nicole - Robin Dick being a little psycho and taking his team on an adventure

The First One by Astrid S - careful. It's about Nightwing (1996) Issue #134. Not sure if it can be considered canon or not, it's a gray area for me

Leader of the Landslide by The Lumineers - Basically Dick's reaction to Bruce abandoning him with all the kids and him being protective of them. Relates to Gotham War most clearly but always

Fire by Gavin Degraw - Dick's bamfness and journey

Christmas Kids by Roar - Here comes Bruce's messed up attachment issues to Dick

Million to One by Camila Cabello - Dick's perfectionist issues and dreams of being greater

If You Go Down ( I'm Going Down Too) by Kelsea Ballerini - Dick and Donna's ride or die relationship.

Don't Think Just Run by Beth Crowley - Dick, leadership, and the superheroes' reliance on him

Labour - Dick hypothically getting tired of Bruce dumping every single thing on him

Panic Room by Au/Ra - Scarecrow telling Dick in Knight Terrors that his fear may be the scariest fear of them all. I'm just imagining everyone getting trapped in Dick's head and being forced to face his fear. That would be such a fun story to write.

Rise by Katy Perry - Dick will always overcome and thrive.

Edge of Glory by Lady Gaga - Dick with the Titans just as they score a major victory

Human by Christina Perri - Dick asking for a reprieve (in his head)

Human by Krewlla - Same but sadder

Dress by Charlotte Sands - Other people falling in love with Dick

Gold Rush by Taylor Swift - How other people fall in love wiht Dick told through the eyes of Barbara or Kori

Heart of Stone by Six the Musical - Dick's unwavering love for Bruce

Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths - Dick is Achilles.

Geronimo by Sheppard - Silver Age Teen Titans era except it's all of them.

Circus by Britney Spears - C'mon. He's performer born for the spotlight.

Je vole by Louane - Dick's message to Bruce about him leaving

Je vais t'aimer by Louane - The intensity of Dick's love that sometimes leaves his lovers entralled, breathless, and scared.

Location by AJR - Dick reaching out to someone (not necessarily romantic)

Bird Set Free by Sia - Dick lives for himself and his morals. He lives for peace.

She Sets the City on Fire by Gavin Degraw - Other people's point of view of Dick

Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey - Dick's grief and mourning for Bruce's passing

Wonderland by Taylor Swift - Roy and Dick's relationship

Head Above the Water by Avril Lavigne - Dick being the superhero community's rock and leadership.

Nightmare by Halsey - Dick's a little wild but that's the reason he's still alive. This is just him going after Blockbuster.

Graveyard by Halsey - Dick literally keeping Bruce from destroying himself

The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy - Just Dick raising super powered team after team and yanking everyone onto their feet

Pompeii by Bastille - Dick's perspective after the bombing of Bludhaven

The entire sour album by Olivia Rodigro - To describe Dick and Bruce after Bruce fired him

Troublemaker by Olly Murs - How literally none of his exes can let him go

Issues by Julia Michaels - Dick and Kori's relationship

See You Again by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth - Dick and the Titans

Monster by Eminem and Rihanna - The amount of times people have told Dick he was crazy and he laughed and did it anyway

Superhero by Simon Curtis - Teen Titans Dick

Thunder by Imagine Dragons - Dick always takes charge of himself and his own destiny

A Million Dreams, the Greatest Showman - It literally sounds like Dick's inner thoughts to make Gotham a better place

Brave by Sara Bareilles - It's reminiscent of Dick's speech to Conner

Secrets and Lies by Death Note the Musical - This is Outsiders Dick Grayson to a T

Playing His Game by Death Note the Musical - This is how Dick solves all his crimes and mysteries

Drinking alone by Carrie Underwood - Ric Grayson

[mftm1987]

all-time dream peche show/set

some of y'all bless n keep u are weird enough to want this information and because i am quite literally an information professional (librarian) i spent too much time and thought on this. at least a lot of it was on the clock lmao putting this under a cut bc it goes off

a lil note

i tried to choose songs i know them to perform, which i suppose in some ways defeats the purpose of something like this lol i guess the dream part is in the production/performance. and alan still being in the band and it somehow being 1987 but they also have access to their entire back catalog. anyway! i reference a lot of mixes throughout and i don't necessarily mean they perform it exactly like that as opposed to the originally released version, more.. thats the vibe i'd want the arrangement to channel

set list

instrumental intro - painkiller (w bc/cta industrial samples. basically would love to see alan get his grubby rat claws on this one)

first quarter: classic pechay mold - walking in my shoes (anandamidic mix) - policy of truth (think the way dave’s busting this out on mm tour is maybe its platonic ideal) - stripped (highland mix + 101 rlly going off with the giant sound pads)

second quarter: we r grooving - halo (no notes whatsoever. a setlist with express purpose of GROOVE and i could take lessons) - mercy in you (devotional. the way it’s a gospel disco hit in 1996..if you come up w a better way to arrange this lmk) - in your room (album version obv + apex mix as the outro which litr samples judas/leads into)

martin songs: wanna see that man suffering and healed - judas (grooving outro fucking required this is my huge and glaring shade on devotional lol) - home (alan could have fun w this one i think) - strangelove (starts w mm tour acoustic mart + finishes with full backing n shared lead)

third quarter: let’s have some fun! - shake the disease (a vault classic that i’d love to see them do something weird with) - nothing (101 guitar moment w the caveat i have heard rumors of a ‘devotionalised’ version that didnt end up on the setlist and if it truly fucks like i hope it would, then that) - john the revelator (influence of the unkle reconstruction aka that twinkling far out grungy thing. feel like mart on guitar and alan sparkling along the keys would be mmmmmmmm)

mart n dave duet interlude - sweetest perfection/condition mix (alright ive seen no one discuss this but these 2 share more than similar names!! i can hear it!!! and to get an a. wilder layered sonic journey..i wouldnt know how to act)

fourth quarter: we R grooving redux (R for haRd) - it’s no good (influence of hardfloor mix) - enjoy the silence (devotional/onip aka mart get nasty with that solo and dave be gay about it)(alright this is gonna be controversial for this blog but i think it’s gotta be the paris version for this show. it’s such a filthy solo and also imagine alan on the drums for it)(whos playing the keys bitch this is a fantasy) - nlmda (aggro mix intro + split mix Yes at least 10 mins of this song)

encore: oh y’all wanted to dance huh - personal jesus (funnily enough with how Much™ i want everything else to be, playing this one straight might be the highest camp experience it can give) - master and servant (101 sound pads and outro breakdown) - just can’t get enough (live in hamburg where they just fuck UP that 12”)

2nd encore: peche mode is a sad band, but the best band in the world - a question of lust (flood mix) - black celebration (101 w all its extra interesting lil sounds is a fav but i’d be SO open to a new alan take on this one) - everything counts (the graph/on the wall/the hand shake versions only. everyone else need not apply)(yes that means u devotional)

setting and era (musically/aesthetically)

as for the musical era, here’s the thing: if alan is present (and as it’s my dream dm show he is) i trust him to unify All This under some kind of cohesive performance. these are but humble suggestions of my fav arrangements. i’d say the underlying theme of my choices is High on the groove scale, but also very much wanting old school peche banging with hammers

outdoor on the lawn venue. ideally june 1, so it’s alans bday n dave hopefully won’t shut up abt it. looks-wise mftm/101 w shades of violator dark summer sexy. in high fantasyland: alan’s got that bisexual denim on leather look of drumming personal jesus in 89. mart’s tits are slipping out of that super low cut tank of 90 with the armband on. fletch is in his cunty mock turtleneck. dave’s in leather pants, a red tank n shirt and The Jacket that he gradually strips out of of (feels sacrilegious to not have him in a crop top in the late 80s so let’s just say his tank rides up a lil hehe)

mostly devotional visuals tho colorized less blue/purple lol, the big sans-serif Ms of memento mori were also giving for me. always love a dual-level setup for a dm show, but only if dave can traipse about both levels and flirt with whomsoever he chooses (which he will)

[mcflymemes]

KINGSMAN: THE GOLDEN CIRCLE PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the 2017 film

now go off and save the world.

this is not the end.

i made you these.

you have thirty seconds before they reach your position.

it's all right. don't panic.

that's all i'm gonna tell you, because that's all you need to know.

give me the code!

you've got three seconds to tell the truth.

why are you still wearing that?

i could say the same thing about you!

how the fuck is screwing someone gonna save the world?

how important is that dinner?

you've got to be fucking kidding.

i need you.

how do you do? have we met before?

would you like to hold him?

then you're no use to me.

you are the person i wanna spend the rest of my life with.

i hate to seem rude, but i need to finish packing and get some sleep.

i was looking forward to finishing him off.

i think there must be some mistake.

i hope you're hungry.

i'm gonna get the blame now.

when i was shot, can you guess what the last thing was that flashed through my mind?

it's a bit complicated, but trust me, i would not be doing it if i didn't have to.

if you really love me, just one little kiss.

been waiting all night for you to at least kiss me.

i just thought maybe we could practice? for tonight.

let me teach you a lesson.

why are you telling me about your shoes?

come snuggle with me. i like you.

are you quite mad?

i want to be with you.

don't move. you move, we die.

you're so smart. you should work for me.

you really expect me to take that seriously?

police are right behind you.

loosen up. we saved the world.

it is quite the opposite.

you're really not as i expected.

i'm sure you can last longer than that.

are we going to stand around here all day?

don't mention it.

this is very delicious.

i don't think i can.

yes, how could i forget?

what the hell happened?

what's your name?

what? what's the problem?

that's the first decent shit i've had in three weeks.

or we could just... fuck.

i know you didn't mean to make me feel like a dumbass.

shut up and sit down.

i beg your pardon!

i had a girlfriend.

i'll let you make it up to me by letting me buy you a drink.

you're late.

it's beautiful, isn't it?

take a look in the glove box.

shoot you? well, i will shoot you.

just know that having something to lose is what makes life worth living.

go away, old man.

well, actually, we had an invitation.

i do agree with the part where you go fuck yourself.

we're under attack.

i had no ties. no bittersweet memories.

get down on your knees and tell me who you really work for.

what do you see?

just thought i'd bring you a little leaving present.

this is where we split up.

you were really gonna do it?

wow. this is amazing.

is this a rescue attempt?

i don't like easy. i like proof.

you signal when we're in position.

you all right? what was that phone call you got?

how do i look?

who the fuck are you?

thought everything was supposed to be bigger in america.

it's been an honor.

never experienced companionship, never been in love.

let me translate that for you.

if you save the world, you know what that means.

it seemed silly not to take advantage of the confusion.

how about a martini for old time's sake?

you mind if i share your cab?

what the fuck have you done?

do as you're told.

get out of my room! get out!

it's a lasso.

it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

what's wrong with me?

is that any way to welcome a visitor from out of town?

isn't that supposed to be saturday?

you're lying. look at your hands.

that is true love right there.

i owe you everything.

there's no time for emotion.

you ready?

i have an antidote.

what have you done to me, you fucking bitch?

are you sure i don't look like a dick?

it'll take time to get your coordination back.

it's proof that my plan is going to work.

i thought you fixed me.

remember your training or we all die.

look in the mirror.

there's got to be another way.

suck my southern dick, bitch.

you'll be back to normal soon.

don't worry, i can fix it.

not a doubt in my mind.

our journey began with a mistake i made.

here's a couple of welcome back gifts.

i don't think that'll be necessary.

it doesn't have to be this way.

well, what are you ladies waiting for?

do you know what that means?

you two need to get going.

you're right. mission comes first.

i'm gonna go get changed.

[nativestarwrites]

How did you get the idea for your former big bang fic? Anything you want to share about it?

Thank you for the question! I love this wip and I've neglected it far too much! I started thinking about this a few weeks after I got into Ted Lasso last year, it doesn't feel that long ago but apparently it was in June! So I'm a little sketchy on the exact origin but I remember I wanted to write something that dealt with the scene in the finale with his father in a less superficial way.

The fic is more or less built around this line by James in my version of that rehab meeting.

"‘They won’t want you when you’re no longer their star player. I’ll always be your dad, but your team won’t be when you’re not playing anymore.”

And a series of events make Jamie start to think there's a kernel of truth to that as the new season starts. Things get worse, and there's some reasons why Jamie doesn't share how he's feeling with the team, but when they find out he learns he has value beyond being the star player and he's still their friend even if he never kicks a winning goal again.

It's sitting at just over 10k but I haven't looked at it for months because When Darkness Falls took over most of my writing time but I do want to go back to it. I think my outlining skills have improved from working on When Darkness Falls so I'd like to see what I can do with it with fresh eyes.

I've put a snip of one of my favourite scene behind the cut, it's just after Jamie's visited his dad right at the start.

He stands in the bright sunshine, flexing his hands compulsively, he doesn’t quite know what to do with them, doesn’t quite know what to do with himself, and he thrusts his fists into his pockets where he feels the warm plastic fob of his car keys inside the pocket. Car. Right. Time to make the long journey back home he guesses, there’s nothing worth sticking around for here.

Except, somehow there’s someone leaning against his car and he must be seeing things because its a very familiar silhouette and he only knows one person daft enough to wear all black and a leather jacket on a hot day like today but it most definitely looks like none other than Roy Kent leaning against his car.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you.” Roy answers. Like they’re in Nelson Road’s car park instead of one that’s a three hour drive away.

“Thought you didn’t agree with me going to see my dad.”

“I didn’t. I don’t. Doesn’t mean I was going to let you do it by yourself though.” Roy pauses and Jamie makes an effort to unclench his hands and relax his shoulders even though there’s every chance that Roy’s already noticed the tension he’s carrying. “How’d it go?”

Jamie shrugs a shoulder. “Dunno what I was expecting.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

This time Roy’s the one relaxing. There’s something about the familiarity of Roy not wanting to talk about emotions that’s actually really fucking comforting to Jamie and his gut unclenches slightly. If there’s one person he can rely on to not make him talk about his emotions it’s Roy.

“You hungry?” Roy asks.

Jamie raises a shoulder in a shrug. Breakfast had been a long time ago and the protein bar he’d had on the way up here hadn’t done much, but he still doesn’t really feel like eating, it’s more a sense that he should eat.

“Good.” Roy replies as if Jamie’s actually given him an answer. “There’s a decent steak place not far from here according to Google.”

“Whatever.”

“Gimme your keys.” Roy orders reaching out a hand with an impatient wiggle.

Jamie mutters control freak under his breath even as he throws the keys to Roy. He’d complain about it more except he really doesn’t fancy driving right now, doesn’t really trust himself behind the wheel if he’s being honest. He didn’t sleep well last night and he feels like its all deciding right now is the time for it to catch up with him.

“Wait, how’d you get here?” He asks as his head swivels around, looking for the black G-Wagon and finding nothing in sight. “Did you—?” But Jamie can’t finish, because the idea that Roy Kent took public transport to get here simply so he could drive Jamie home is too bizarre a thought to say out loud. Roy evidently agrees because he just growls sightly.

“Stop gawping and get in the fucking car."

[blues-valentine]

A debated opinion but I wouldn’t mind if Can I Have This Dance is a full group song with each couple having their own part, preferentially during Homecoming/Prom because that would be so cute, that if Rina gets Right Here Right Now and I Just Wanna Be With You because it’s more meaningful since it fits their whole arc.

In fact, High School Musical 3 as the school production for the season Rina is a couple and Ricky is a senior is perfect. Look at those lyrics:

Everything about Rina has been about change.

Ricky's fear of change and Gina's life constantly changing so she dosn't allow herself to think too far ahead but Ricky is been her yes. So for Right Here Right Now, if Rina’s arc for S4 is like I predict it will with them feeling unsure about their future because is Ricky's last year at East High and now their whole public relationship with everyone inserting themselves into it then the lyrics fit just right: "I'd wish this moment was ours to own it and that it would never leave" and then with being afraid of the future and linking it to Gina’s speech about her life being all about maybe and holding onto the present and the journey: "Right here, I promise you somehow that tomorrow can wait for some other day to be, but right now there's you and me". Ricky’s senior year/decisions approaching: "We know it's coming and it's coming fast (but right now, there's you and me) so let's make every second last". And we back again with the theme of change: "A bend in the universe is gonna make everything in our whole world change (it's changing) and you know that where we are will never be the same". It’s prefect for a moment when they're feeling like nothing is going like they want it to because of their fame and time is running out.

Then there’s Just Wanna Be With You: "You know how life can be. It changes over night. It's sunny then raining but it's alright. A friend like you, always make it easy. I know that you get me every time. Through every up. Through every down. You know I'll always be around. Through anything you can count on me." I mean, "I thought we sort of got each other" is pretty self explanatory for them and it really highlights the rollercoaster that has been their journey though out all these four seasons.

Actually, I can see this song being sang by two different couples (the full song does), the first part for Ryan and Kelsey on the piano (could be Seblos) and Rina taking it off from where Troy and Gabriella start since it’s the part that fits their relationship and most of it till the end kind of like in the movie version (the rehearsal, not the actual show). I can see that song being Rina focused but with the other couples as backup.

And even Gabriella's solo Walk Away is so Gina coded and it mentions change. This song is when Gabriella had to leave East High earlier because she got an early admission into college. "I guess I should've known better to believe that my luck had changed. I let my heart and forever. Finally learn each other's name. I tell myself this time is different, no goodbyes 'cause I can bear to say it. I'll never survive the ones that's coming if I stay. Just walk away and don't look back 'cause if my heart breaks it's gonna hurt so bad. You know I'm strong but I can't take that." And I just remember Kristoff Lullaby: "You light the world for me. You live life fearlessly, braver than the braver of us do" and Ricky’s “Gina’s a fighter and she’ll come back for opening night” Like, Gina is Gabriella. I'm sorry, she's so her coded.

And we know there's only one person that can sing Scream and that's Ricky Bowen and the line: "Yeah, the clock's running down, hear the crowd getting loud. I'm consumed by the sound. Is it her? Is it love? Can the music ever be enough?" that's Ricky Bowen coded. I can imagine him singing this when he is feeling overwhelmed about having to make decisions about his future, about music, about having to be away from Gina. Josh would eat this bad.

CIHTD is aesthetically iconic but the lyrics can apply to every couple on the show so I wouldn’t mind that one being a group song with all the pairings together singing some parts because it would look pretty cute on a big scale dance. “A Night To Remember” needs to happen too. Like, it’s basically a need for them to do this.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Heyo again! I wanted to say that your comics are lovely to read, Keep it up!

You don’t need to respond to this but I also want some advice from ya, its been pretty bumpy road for me on my art Journey, The good and the bad stuffs, I started drawing again in last year for almost 3 years and I have been improving my art style, I have a small but lovely followers on two social medias, I enjoy making that I love and even making my own artwork but sometimes I feel like I am not artist enough or interested enough, so I maybe ask you for some art advices? Any advice is fine but I want to do a story to draw and tell but I’m not good at writing or experience at least, I also want to start commissions if possible if anyone interested in my artworks but I don’t have a payments yet for now,

I probably search up these things but I want wanted someone who experience just before possibly

You might not understand this submitted question cuz I don’t know how to Express my thoughts and feelings if that makes sense, and you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to if this isn’t your thing, that’s all from me hope you have a good week

Hi bean! Sorry I'm replying so late! Don't worry, I think you were pretty clear in formulating your question!

I just am not sure if I'm the best person to answer or give advice on that because... I'm not that good an artist at all. I have trouble sticking to discipline, I only ever draw what I like without challenging myself too much unless I REALLY want to, and... Yeah. No wonder I'm at the tiny level I'm at in my 30s, to be honest. The only reason why my art ever gets positive reactions is because I happened to draw something that people liked enough, and even that is super dependent on timing and other factors. It's very tough to get noticed, so I've found, or if it IS easy, then I must be a bit dumb, because I haven't figured it out.

One thing that I feel HAS positively helped me a lot though, has been entering art challenges and contests, and there are plenty of those out there, which is good! If it's anything that can help me practice more towards my goals, then it's a good experience. Be it a writing challenge, a drawing challenge on a specific theme, a comic-drawing challenge or whatnot... Personally I find they always give me an opportunity to develop ideas in a way I like, and to end up with a final product which I don't necessarily always like, but which at least showcases my progress.

I really don't do commissions often because I don't need the money that much, so the extent of my experience goes to IRL stuff and iterances where someone has specifically seeked out a commission from me, so I'm also not the best at giving advice regarding commissions either TwT But if that's something you want, I'd really recommend to go for it! I set up a paypal account to receive payments when I was about your age for translation gigs, it's tough at the start but then it pretty much rolls off pretty easily, and I've only sworn by that, but I'm sure there's many other trustworthy options out there as well! (I really don't have that much experience in that sense, haha TwT)

But yeah... Also overall, I guess, no matter how hard impostor syndrome tends to hit when you're an artist, especially when you're still developing what you want to do and all, it's definitely important to actually go out there and show yourself out. Dare to say "Yeah, I make art, so I'm an artist, let me in on the artist scene." If you want to make art and show your art, overall, nobody has a right to tell you not to, or to tell you you're not an artist, no matter how much societal pressure there is against that. One's gotta have the courage to say they're an artist, or at the very least an aspiring artist, if they wanna be one, it's actually a key part of the process. (Arguably I haven't been good at it lately. I haven't put myself out there much for art gigs or challenges and whatnot. I should really go for it more.)

But yeah TwT Sorry, I feel like I've been writing a whole lot not to say that much, but I hope it's been a little helpful at least! Also from what I can see, and especially from the first years I've known you, your art already has improved a ton, so from my point of view, you're doing good! Don't give up, do your best not to be scared and to fight off that voice in you that tells you you're "not enough of an artist". And hopefully you can keep having fun drawing what you want to draw, that's super important, at the very least to me, I've kept swearing by that, whether what I like drawing is popular or not.

(PS: Listening to music and imagining situations to it and reading new comics that speak out to me are two surefire ways to get my inspiration going too, in case that helps!)

[ronispadez]

1 for the choose violance ask?

1: the character everyone gets wrong

AUGGHHHHHHH OHHH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! LUCAS 4 SURE. also maybe Gerard and Frank and other Band Dudes, but as for actual fictional characters, PROBABLY LUCAS!

Now, we don't have a clear idea of what Lucas is like post time-skip, if he's still the same gentle cry baby as he was before, in the prologue. But you gotta understand that going on a journey like that has got to change a person. He's def a lot more brave than the fandom, AND FUCKING SMASH BROS BRAWL !!! gives him credit for.

Old fanfics will usually give him t-th-he unre-re-alistic s-s-s-s-stuttering habit, which is sssssoooooooooo hard to read sometimes. I understand stuttering as something someone can have naturally, but in this context, it's something he does because he's nervous or scared or flustered. And he does it almost every time he talks until he finally warms up enough, or he's in a perpetual state of flustered. I'd understand if this was an actual speech thing he had that the author brings up, but no, you can tell that the intention is just to make him look more, ... Im not sure the right word, but more Shoujo shy girl like. Y'know?

Mischaracterization can't really be a thing with Mother protags and other silent protagonist. There can be opinions on characters I can either like or dislike, but that doesn't rule out the possibility that the character is "actually" like that. For Ness and Ninten, no one is really right or wrong... Characterizing them as assholes (COUGH mother 1 novel with Ninten/Ken) or as shy or, well, most of the time people just write Ness as a heroic extrovert and/or complete dumbass which personally is the correct way to me.

But in Mother 3, we get more character from Lucas than we do with any other mother protag, in that he's a gentle boy who likes flowers, and the village sees him as a crybaby, even before Hinawa died. (That one lady Flint talks to during the forest fire, before they knew Hinawa died, called Lucas a crybaby)

But fuck dude, even before the time-skip happened, Lucas came in clutch with the drago to save Salsa and Kuma from Fassad!!! You go, baby Lucas! wth!!!!

Anyway I am fucking SICK!!! I AM FYUCKIMG SICKKK!!!!!!!! Of baby-cant-do-nothin-right-pussy-boy Lucas, characterized in fanart or fanfics. I don't want him to just be a stoic asshole, but I also don't want the crybaby part to be laid on too thick, y'know? Characterize him with thought. He can still be a gentle crybaby, but don't make that his whole thing, who cries at any small thing that happens

As much as I love Brawl, it was the start of this trend. As much as I love subspace emissary, they absolutely did Lucas fucking DIRTY. What the fuck is he doing, getting scared over these fuckin doll guys and the poo-poo gas ??? I do understand that he doesn't have his friends and dog with him, so he's lost faith in his solo battling ability. I guess. Also is this after the game ended, where he's endured the worst fucking battle of his life?? Or pre time-skip, making smash, or at least subspace Lucas, a little baby man who hasnt gone thru character development yet? Most likely not. I don't know. Subspace's characterization with Lucas was fucking foul. It started the trend of writing Lucas like a little bitch because that's how most of the world was introduced to him. Most people haven't played his game, so they see him as this little BITCH BOY AUUHGHHHHH

Sorry, I'm rambling and not finishing any of my thoughts, but this is something I have to properly write an essay on or make a fuckin YouTube video about or something. Jesus

I do have to say I think Ness' character in Subspace was pretty cute. I wanna see more fanfics where Lucas gets upset with Ness because he protects him too much and Lucas proves himself as strong enough without Ness' help. And then they kiss maybe. Maybe even hold hands ..

Also I am RIDDLED with Nesscas brain I forgot that's literally what Lucas goes thru when he's with Red, I forgor. But most people just think about the Ness Died Because of Lucas Scene in subspace, not how he protects himself and Red later. Oughhhhhh

PENIS BLAST let's just start over, all the way back in 2008 everybody, cmon, let's go, into the phase distorter

[ariddletobesolved]

FROZEN III

Being direct, aren't we? I don't know what you're asking of me, anon, is this meant to be a writing prompt or something? Since you're not being specific, I will just share my opinions/thoughts on Frozen 3. Assuming you know that I ship Helsa and I like Hans (else, why are you asking me? I don't often interact with general Frozen fans here), I'll probably bring it up in this post. (Warning, this will get personal.)

My first thought when I saw the announcement was, "Well, someone has to milk they cashcows at some point, right?"

I wasn't thrilled, in fact I was rather sceptical. I don't like Frozen 2 for a lot of reasons (I won't elaborate it because it's exhausting having to repeat it, I'd rather not talk about it or see anyone paraphrase it for me, thanks), and in my head the franchise is done, just like that. Some people I know also lost their interest in the Frozen fandom, prompting me to do the same (the only things keeping here are my friends, Helsa, and Frozen the Musical), so am I excited to have my love for Frozen rekindled? Not really. But am I excited to see the fandom revived and the possible new contents that will come along with it? Absolutely!

I'm rather indifferent about Frozen 3, honestly, and I have ZERO expectation about it, whatsoever. At the end, Disney is a multibillion dollar company, and they are likely to prioritise profit over quality content. But if it ends up getting a good writing, that's good for them, I guess. Though, I'm personally planning to avoid any news related to Frozen 3.

I would like to see them explore other places too, tho, maybe The Southern Isles? I wouldn't mind a redemption arc for Hans (although the chance seems highly unlikely, lol, that's how low I set my bar). I don't need Helsa to be canon, but maybe and interaction would be nice to see (or I could write my own enemies to lovers fic for self indulgence purposes instead, idk).

If I had to guess the plot, however, I'd say Frozen 2 is just a fever dream but the moment Elsa goes about her day, she hears that 4-note siren call, and she goes on a journey but *gasp* there's someone behind the bushes, at least Anna is there with a sword looking cool like in that trailer, etc. (this is a joke, please don't take it seriously), or maybe it could be assassin!Anna, spy!Elsa, and telepath!Olaf trying to prevent a war from breaking out (again this is my attempt at humour, based on a conversation I had with some friends), who bloody knows? Anything could happen, really.

All I'm saying is that, try to manage your expectations and maybe mute tags/keywords of topics you wanna avoid for your own sake (I do that, and my online experience has never been better). I hope these answers are satisfying for you, anon.

[eisforeidolon]

I felt like A LOT of the funniest J2 moments from this weekend's panels had a physical component (like them doing an extended bit performing actions in sync), but here's a more serious question that comes across well in text alone. Although it's a lot of text. Really a lot, they were both kind of long-winded, so I'm putting it mostly under a cut.

Fan: Can you tell us about an emotional experience you that had with a fan, like an emotional connection you had with a fan at a convention?

Jared: He can, yes [pointing at Jensen].

Jensen: I'm glad you asked that. Um, yes, there's countless interactions and encounters with people who, if you wanna call them fans, but I call them like-minded individuals, 'cause I, too, love this show and love these characters and love their stories, so I guess I would be a fan, too? But, uh, having interactions with you guys is - that's the unique thing that this is. And I think a lot of people don't understand that when we talk about coming and doing these shows. People are like, 'Why do you think there are people still showing up at these things, you've been doing them for so long?' And I'm like, 'Well, it is the show, but I also think it's this community that has kind of grown with these things. And I also think it's the fact that he and I show up here because we wanna see your faces. [Jared nods] We get to see - you know, when you're working on a set doing a tv show or a movie or something, there's not an audience there to give you feedback. It's not theater. It's not that kind of a situation. So a lot of times, the only kind of feedback you get is critical, you know, it's critics. Saying, 'Oh, this show sucks and here's why' or -

Jared: Yeah, no one ever says, 'Oh that was good' it's like, "Well, this is why that was bad'.

Jensen: Yeah, that's why they're called critics, and you don't get fan reaction. You don't get the people who really love the show or people that the show touched. So all of this has been one incredible journey into just that. Into getting a reaction, feeling energy - Jared and I have said before, but this is your first con so I'll repeat it - we come to these things because it gives us fuel. It gives us fuel to go back on set, keep pushing, keep fighting and keep telling these stories with these characters and digging deeper and trying to layer as much as we can, because we see the impact that it's making right in front of us [gestures to audience]. You don't get that if you don't come to things like this or you don't get to have interactions with people. You're not gonna get that, all you're gonna get is some critical writer who has an axe to grind maybe against a showrunner or something. So all of these interactions mean something to us and it's hard to pick one, I would just say the totality of it is really the most inspiring thing for us and what we really get from this? You know some of you say 'You have no idea what the show means to me'. Well, you have no idea what the show means to us, and you have no idea what you mean to us, because without you, we wouldn't have the show.

Jared: Yeah. 100% what he said? As well, I think for me, I think to try and be an actor or actress or writer or storyteller or director or whatever? You have to have empathy, you have to be interested in other people and their lives, and understand that their lives and experiences are different than your lives and experiences. And so for me it was really difficult at the beginning, 'cause I meet some people and they were so ... grateful? or flattering? Where they'd be like, 'Oh my god, I watched this with my brother or this with my mother or with myself and it meant something to me and I got out of a bad place' and I would take that on. Then the next person would be like, 'Hey! That was a cool fight scene!' And I'd be like, well, I guess they don't really like ... So I was kind of going like bing bang bing bang [makes fast rollercoaster up and down hand motion] bing bang bing bang. And then as I've grown older and had kids it's gradually gone from [makes slower rollercoaster hand motion], like, perceived highs and lows to this really cool spot where even in situations like this, someone will come up and be like, 'Hey, I was in a bad spot and my mom and I watched Supernatural before she lost her life to cancer or something' but the next person will be like, 'Well, I don't have a story like that'. But for me, I've learned that everybody is on - getting to meet so many people in so many cities, I feel so blessed because I've really realized that everybody is in a different stage of their journey, you know? Some people might be listening to an album or watching a tv show or a movie or reading a book and it's really poignant in the moment and they're able to kind of take some lessons and pull them in and then some people might be like, 'I just kinda think your clothes are cool' or something, [Jensen tries not to laugh] and they're both 100% correct. So I think my learning that you're going to meet a thousand different people and they're all at a different point and the show means something differently to all of them at a different point in time. It's certainly - and I've been public about this - but there were times in Supernatural where I didn't want to be alive, and there were times I was on top of the world. And so, going like there's the same story essentially I was telling and a part of, I have the same friends and family and crew and fellow cast and ya'll. So it was like, alright, how do I think about that as far as everybody out here is just a human, like I am, and like he is [points] and we're all gonna have [Jensen makes a see-saw motion with his hand, audience laughs] - he doesn't falter, he doesn't, but uh, most of the rest of us do? Or feel like we have, and so I feel like the, to borrow his word, the totality of the experience, that's continuing thanks to ya'll, has been the most special part. [Jensen nods] Thank you.

Jensen: I will say, real quick? Like a few years ago I was in the airport and I was standing behind this well-dressed guy in a business suit, this man, and he had carryon luggage and we were waiting to board the plane. He kinda turned around and did a double take and was like, 'Hey, did you used to be on that show Supernatural?' I was still on the show. [Jared laughs] And I said that, I was like, 'No. I didn't used to, I'm currently still on the show.' He's like, 'No way! That's still on?' He goes, 'I remember watching that when I was a kid!' And immediately, I was like, 'How old are you?!' And he was like, twenty three or something and he was going on a business trip, like somewhere. I was just like [makes turn around a shoo motions], 'Get on the plane.'

Jared: Leave.

Jensen: Get on the plane. But even that experience with that fan was, uh, very memorable. So whoever that guy was, thanks pal, you made me feel this small [pinches fingers together] that day.

[kiunlo]

I'd love to hear about your ocs seeings as you reblogged that ask post :)

Okay I had to think hard about this because tbh I didn't actually expect anyone to come into my inbox asking me about my OCs after I reblogged that post LMAO it's only recently that people actually send me shit and I'm still trying to get used to it.

In so many different OCs that I have, such as Grokkar (orcish death knight from WoW), Omen (mysterious shadow person who appears as a wolf, from DC) and Baphomet (unknown species of alien who knows nothing about his people, also DC), they all fit the same theme of being alone, being an outcast, and knowing nothing about themselves, and the journey towards trying to understand who and what they are, OR what they used to be. I WAS gonna break down ALL THREE characters backstories and shit, and how they're all similar in their themes of loneliness, but it got WAY too long, so if you wanna hear about the other two, let me know! I focused on Grokkar with this ask. seriously long ass bullshit below!

So as I said, with this particular ask I'm talking Grokkar, one of the characters I actually play as on WoW. He's gone through a lot of bullshit in his life..er…undeath? He is an orc, and a Death Knight, which if you know anything about WoW, you probably can already guess the angst and shit that comes with being a Death Knight, but I became a Batman blog within the past few years so a lot of my followers are Batman fans and might not know shit about WoW, so I'll explain the details of what being a Death Knight actually means. Also keep in mind I'm not like a HUGE ULTRA EXPERT about Death Knights and Wrath of the Lich King (the expansion that introduced them as a class you could play) or anything, I just know some basic shit. So if I get some shit wrong…insert shrug emoji here.

Grokkar was originally just a regular orc guy, but then he fucking died during the war against the Scourge (undead that were trying to destroy and take over the world, lead by the Lich King, Arthas Menethil). The Lich King then raised Grokkar from the dead, and took full control of his actions, feelings, thoughts etc. (as he did with most of the Scourge) and turned him into a merciless killing machine, where Grokkar used unholy and necromantic magic and other abilities to hurt and kill others. If you play through the Death Knight starting zone in WoW, you get to actually play out some of the fucked up things the Death Knights did under the Lich King's control, and how you gain back control of yourself, and deal with the aftermath of your actions.

When you eventually go back to your faction's capital city (either Stormwind or Orgrimmar) to rejoin the rest of Azeroth in the fight against the Lich King and his Scourge…the NPCs in that city will boo at you, throw tomatoes at you, and tell you that YOU are the reason why people are dying, that YOU are responsible for the deaths of their family members, their loved ones, the people they will never see again. They cannot even bury their own family members and give them a proper funeral, because the ones who died fighting against the Scourge…were then raised as undead, to become a part of the Scourge itself.

As a side ramble that's related to the above paragraph, I've been going through the old Ice Crown Citadel raid (trying to farm the Invincible mount lol), and there's a part in that raid where you have to fight a Val'kyr named Sister Svalna, and you are aided by a bunch of Argent Crusade allies, and you kill all the Scourge in your way to get to her, but during the fight a few of the argent crusade fellas die. The allies behind you who are about to join you in the fight against Sister Svalna say something like "Quickly, lets kill her before her reinforcements arrive!" And she says in response "You fool, you've brought my reinforcements with you!" And then proceeds to literally raise some of the ally NPC's that were killed by her during the previous fight, who YOU then have to fight. When you kill them, they will usually say "I'm sorry…" or "Finally, I can be at peace" or something similar to that. It's very fucking grim, but it is why the whole story is SO fucking good. It's this overarching sense of doom, and fear that that enemy you are going up against…might actually win. How the odds are forever in the favour of the enemy, since any one of YOUR allies that are killed become THEIR soldiers. It's an almost never-ending battle that you appear fated to lose.

Anyways I went off topic a little bit, but all of the stuff that I mentioned would be a VERY difficult thing to come to terms with as a Death Knight at the start, having to acknowledge that you did some really fucked up awful things, but also knowing that you had no control over your own actions- your own feelings and thoughts having been corrupted and tainted by the Lich King. For my character Grokkar, despite the many years that went by since the defeat of the Scourge, and the fall of the Lich King, he never really "got over" all of that guilt, all of the pain, and all of that suffering. In a way, it would seem very hard for a Death Knight to move past such a dark time in their uh.."lives", given the fact that the moment a Death Knight is raised by the Lich King, so much about them changes. It is a core moment in their existence that determines how the rest of their "life" is going to pan out. You cannot be raised from the dead like that and have your entire existence twisted in such an unholy and unnatural way without being irrevocably changed somehow. Even when speaking to other Death Knight NPCs in-game, when you click on them, they say "Suffer well". The entire existence of a Death Knight is suffering, and trying to escape that fate is very difficult, and when I created Grokkar as a teenager that was uh…Going Through It, so to speak, this idea of perpetual agony and suffering and the inability to escape it was very relatable to me. lmao.

To talk more about Grokkar as a character, he is very much the epitome of loneliness, and of being an outsider. I'd say during the earlier days of Death Knights re-joining their respective factions (either the Alliance or the Horde), things would have certainly been very…rocky, so to speak. Why should the rest of Azeroth have to fight alongside the very individuals they once fought against, even if they were just as much victims of the Lich King as the rest of the people of Azeroth? Especially when you consider the Unholy specialisation of Death Knights (aka what type of DK you are and what abilities you use. There is Frost, Blood and Unholy. Grokkar is an Unholy DK). Unholy Death Knights literally raise the dead as minions and use diseases to kill their enemies, very much still using the same violent and repugnant tactics of the Scourge to…fight the Scourge. I'd say in the earlier days, during Wrath of the Lich King, some people might have still been hesitant to work with Death Knights, but working with them regardless because you needed everything and everyone you could get who would willingly go against the Lich King, and over time I think people would have become more open to existing alongside Death Knights in general.

But for Grokkar, despite the changing times, he is very much still in that same mindset he was in during Wrath. Everything and everyone around him has changed and moved on and healed, and he has still stayed the same, almost unable to move on, unable to see things through a newer perspective, still believing in some way that people do not wish to be near him. This of course causes himself to become distant from others, ensuring that others are unable to get close to him, or decide that trying to do so is too difficult or not worth the energy. It's a cycle of loneliness and self-outcasting that he has a very difficult time trying to escape. He is numb and empty, still continuing to fight for the people of Azeroth when some new threat arrives to try and fuck everything up, but feeling as though each accomplishment is meaningless or of little value, especially when he can barely find any meaning or value within himself as a person. He's essentially on autopilot for a very, very long time after the end of Wrath.

All of this is probably also not helped by the fact that he has no choice but to figure out who he is as a person from scratch. I've done a lot of research about Death Knights and what exactly they "remember" from their old lives, and there seems to be a consensus that Death Knights do in fact remember some amount of their past lives. Some remember all of it, some only remember bits and pieces here and there, and some might remember very little. It seems to be very rare that a Death Knight remembers nothing of their past lives, but for extra angst, I decided very early on that that was going to be Grokkar's experience: remembering nothing of his past life, and having to make a decision on whether he should simply try to move on with his life and allow himself to become a new person, or whether he should try and seek out a way to remember who he once was…and risk being either disappointed in who he is now compared to what he was in the past, or realising he used to have a family who loved him, who most likely would want nothing to do with him now that he is such a completely different individual. There is a lot of stuff going on with Grokkar as a character, a lot of complicated feelings that he has, and his strange determination on remaining in this realm when he truly feels like he has nothing to actually "live" for besides trying to protect Azeroth. He has no friends, he has no idea if he has a family or not, and doesn't know if he would event want to go back to his family if he even knew about them, and the people he does spend time with he does not consider to be friends. They are colleagues, acquaintances, allies. But never friends. Any time HE is called a friend by somebody else it gives him whiplash, and it becomes the catalyst for him trying to actually re-think everything in his head, because over time it becomes clear to him that his inner thoughts do not match the reality of the people and experiences around him.

I think also that some of the reason that Grokkar struggles to move past all of this, is his obsession with his own otherness as a Death Knight, and as somebody who is..well…undead. He is very much not alive, yet his body still moves and functions like it was. He doesn't need to eat, blink, breathe or sleep. His body is cold. If he decided to lie down in a bed and take a nap, you could easily confuse him for an actual corpse. In some of my stories (in my head that I haven't written down yet), the times in which he has been knocked unconscious, his allies who are alive have a difficult time figuring out if he is ACTUALLY dead for real this time, because he displays no signs of life even when he is actually awake, and all of his allies are pulling their hair out trying to decide if they should try and find a way to wake him from unconsciousness…or come to the conclusion that he's dead for realsies this time, lets prepare a funeral lmao.

It's this otherness regarding his own body and how it functions (or doesn't function) that I feel like stops him from thinking more nice things about himself. He feels unable to have proper relationships, especially romantic ones (which he DOES desire, despite everything) because who would want to hold or love someone who was so cold and lifeless? Who would want to lay in bed with what exactly resembles a corpse? Who wants a friend who sits there for 12 hours straight not blinking or breathing or eating or whatever because they needed a little bit of rest? Grokkar obsesses about it to an unhealthy degree, the differences between himself and other people, the things he can and can't do, and how he perceives all these differences to be a bad thing.

Over time, I think Grokkar becomes a less lonely person, but it takes a lot of effort and time for him to come to the conclusion that some people actually DO want to be around him, and I think it's something he will always struggle with. Grokkar very much was a self-insert for ALL of my fears and doubts and struggles and everything else when I was a teenager, and while overtime I've personally gotten a lot better with my feelings of self-worth and shit, he is still a character I go back to a lot because he is the perfect outlet for some of the darkest thoughts I've ever had. Hell, I even wrote a (now not-canon) story about how he fucking dies FOR REAL this time and how his own ghost prepares his own body for his funeral his damn self because of his INTENSE fear of being raised from the dead again, and he wants to prevent it from every occurring again (REALLY GRAPHIC AND DARK STORY, PLEASE READ THE TAGS/WARNINGS). Some of the darkest shit I ever wrote, and it's because Grokkar himself is just…a dark character in general, and the best outlet for all these thoughts and feelings.

Anways. That was some shit about Grokkar. It wasn't EVERYTHING but it was like, the most important shit. If you wanna know more stuff about other characters let me know!!!

[zikadraws]

Ok first question to Doug: why would you want to be alive again? I’m generally curious and wanna know, and to Henry: how come you want back to the studio? Did anything made you want to? If you had a chance, would you go save the creations that reside in there?

{Oh boy, that sure does for a long read ahead ! Please buckle up, and enjoy.}

-----------------------------------------

Doug : "Ha, ha, well, actually, here's the thing, I don't want to be alive again- well, not really. I'm not doing this whole demon ring thing for myself, you know. I don't- I'm not doing things for myself anymore.''

''When I was searching for answers and read about the ring, its legend described it as "powerful enough to provide whose who acquires it a second chance", and as vague as it is, that's about the kind of stuff I research. Not necessarily a second chance for me- a chance to... You know... Right my wrongs, and make up for all the suffering I've caused to- to my family.''

''That's for them that I do what I'm doing. I was absolutely awful to both of them, a self-absorbed... awful... selfish... stupid... coward, and everything that I would have wished I'd never be, and my selfishness ended with me doing something horrible to Elise, which caused her death and- and Tammy's. They both died, because I'm a horrible person that should have never been involved in their lives.''

''I tried everything I could think of to try and make up for it- Religion, charity, prison, you name it. I have not been living for myself in the past 40 years, and nothing I've done has brought me even near to find peace.''

''Now I've grown old. I'm old, I'm tired, and I never found peace for my sins. And I've recently learnt that I developed cancer, so I'm ready to give it up for the extreme. I've tried everything, and I'm up to date soon anyway, so I might as well give up the few life I have left for a last resort. To be honest, I didn't actually think this demonic stuff would work, but now that I'm here, I'm ready to give it all.''

''I'm never going to wake up anyway, and I know I'm going to hell no matter what. So if my dying soul can at least give them a chance to live again and go on without me, I'm ready to give it up. To Bierce, to Malak, the ring, or whatever. They deserve to go on without me. They deserve better. ...And if it instead gives me the chance to go back to before and do better with them, I'm all kinds of willing to be a better person."

''I'm going to die anyway. ...It's been a long time since it's not about me anymore."

Henry : ''*sigh* It's not that I'm particularly thrilled about going back in this sad excuse of a hellhole, but our dimensions are broken. Even if I really love the people I've met here, and even if this is a most welcome break from the usual ink dripping nightmare loop bullshit, we don't belong here. I just know this wasn't supposed to happen, and it's probably best not to keep our dimensions shattered like that. Which is why I want to bring things back. There's no need to let our demons share tips or whatever, if you know what I mean."

"(Also the Ink Demon seems to try to 'spread' around. This can't possibly be good.)''

"As for why I'm still journeying through the studio loop, I honestly don't really know by now. I know what's going to happen, but somehow I can't manage to prevent it from happening. It's always the same result and it's starting to really corrode my spite or whatever's still animating me. I've become so numb to all of this, you have no idea. I'm so tired. ...The reason I'm still doing this, I guess, is because I want to see my family again. I want to see my wife Linda, let her know I'm not dead, see my son again, his wife as well. They're such a sweet couple, you know... I was there for their baby shower. I promised I would be there for the birth of their child. But because of this stupid fucking cartoon guilt trip it's probably passed by now, I couldn't have been here to see their kid, I'm... Goddammit, I want to get to meet my grandkid is all ! I want to see Linda again ! Is that asking too much ???"

"...So yes, this is the main reason I still have hope. My wedding ring is my most valued possession by now."

"As for whether or not I would save the creations of the studio would I be given the occasion... Honestly, I don't know. I've stopped caring about Bendy, Alice, Boris & company a long time ago. It was just supposed to be a failed try in my career, and as amusing as these characters could be, they were just... Characters... They didn't mean much more than that to me. It was Joey's idea, not mine. These don't really count as persons to me, sorry to say that. And I don't really think it's a good idea to consider them as such.''

''I do want to try and save my co-workers, though. These are people,and they've never asked for this. They've endured way too much, for way too long. They deserve to be set free- in one way of the word... or another.''

''...Maybe I can actually achieve something of some sort, someday. ...Anything."

"(Also I really want to have a clarification of some sort about whatever the hell the Ink Demon actually is, and whatever became of Joey. I'm pretty sure the one I found in his office isn't the real one. I require a long, honest, clear talk over here.)"

-----------------------------------------

So that was their answer ! Sorry if it was quite long and mixed, I wanted to try and picture an actual conversation. To resume, here's the facts :

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Doug isn't counting on being alive anymore, and would actually rather sacrifice himself to allow his daughter and wife to live again, as his redemption. He knows he's going to hell anyway- and fully believes he deserves it.

Henry is still trying to break the loop because he dreams to see his family again, but he's getting slowly increasingly delusional and is more and more just trying to get anything different to happen, and has grown numb to the fate of his coworkers due to the never ending loops. He's also in complete denial to the idea that the Toons could have possibly gained sentience, and refuses to consider them as anything but fictive characters.

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Thanks for your questions ! These are really good ones :) don't hesitate if you have more ✨✨✨ (but please do so on the blog dedicated to the AU @it-takes-four thank you very much 🙏)

[nexuschampion]

New Year's Eve

The night was crisp and cold. Mikey and Shadow were taking a long evening walk as they often did, mostly to get out of the house but tonight it was also to celebrate the end of the year alone before heading home to enjoy it with the whole family. Their lives were insanely busy in a sense, but their day to day was still fairly mundane and they both often needed the distraction. They paused in the middle of the park to have a moment of quiet, away from the gathering crowds.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than right here with you." Shadow sighed.

"Yeah. It can be loud and crowded and stinky, but I love it just the same. "

She leaned against him, laying her head on his shoulder. "With everything you have experienced it's hard to believe this is even on your radar."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I guess. But there isn't anything like being home no matter where you've been. Home is where the heart is after all and everything I love is here."

His hand snaked around her waist as they both let out a deep breath.

Mukey let out a chuckle. "Hey, there's a guy over there watching. Filming or taking pics or something. You want to give him a bit of a show? Show the world how spe-shell you are? How we make an egg-cellent pair? That you’ve stolen a pizza my heart?"

"Hmmm. I don't think I'd mind if you can handle it. My doctor says I'm lacking vitamin U after all" she hummed as she turned to face him, her hand finding its way to his chest.

Mikey trailed his finger up along her back to place his whole hand on her cheek with a grin. "I love you so much."

She gave him a coy grin as her fingers reached around the back of his neck to pull him down for a kiss. "Well, I have to keep up with you don't I?"

"Oh you don't have a problem doing that baby, life without you is like a broken pencil… totally pointless."

His hand left her cheek and made the journey to the middle of her back. They spent a few long minutes making out, giving their audience of one as innocent of a show as they could manage. When Shadow pulled back and chuckled, he looked directly over at the person attempting to subtly capture the moment and gave a small wave.

"You're awful" she laughed as she smacked his jacket.

"You are so lucky I restrain myself."

"You know, you're right. I should be thanking you. Instead of pictures of us kissing it could be you doing any number of other questionable things, like holding my hand or giving me some token of affection or even *gasp* picking me up and carrying me home."

"I have to admit, all this has made it a bit harder *heh* to know when I can go down on you in public. Wanna head home or should we see just how much he can handle?"

She took his hand and started heading back to their apartment. "It's cold hon. I think he might get burned if we got too steamy out here."

@accioturtur

[awuuuliaaaa]

television / so far so good

Alexander James O’Connor is a singer of my favorite song

I love his song because it makes me feel calm when listening it

the message of the lyrics are

- " and there was so much happiness that we were still yet to find "

the story behind the song

The song "Television / So Far So Good" by Rex Orange Country is about being in a period of uncertainty and self-discovery. In the first part of the song, "Television," the narrator expresses his fear of rejection in a possible relationship, but he maintains some optimism while navigating his feelings and his independence. The bridge then transitions to a plea for the person he is interested in to recognize him and give him a chance, suggesting there is something more to him. The chorus reiterates the narrator's plea for a chance at something real and lasting, for someone to see him for who he really is. The second part of the song, "So Far So Good," serves as a moment of resolution for the narrator. Despite his worries and insecurities, he realizes that nothing has gone wrong since he started on his journey of self-discovery. He expresses his hope that he can make something lasting out of this period of his life and he resolves to make those around him proud.

the lyrics of the song

Hey

I'm not afraid, I can be myself and I

Hope you can be yourself as well

'Cause I can make you feel alright

And there was so much happiness that

We were still yet to find

I said that you can call me Alex, baby

Welcome to my life

But don't you worry, don't you, don't worry, girl

No, I'm not sure if I'm into you

The last time that you checked I was probably so sad and confused

I don't know, no, I don't know what you like

But if you're lookin' for somethin' new

I know somebody that you could choose

What about me?

What about me?

What about me and you together?

Somethin' that could really last forever

What about me?

What about me?

What about me and you together?

Somethin' that could really last forever

If all my friends wanna be in her bed

Then I begin to wonder why

I guess that I'd be lyin' to myself

Because who the fuck would be dumb enough

To reject an offer? Oh, what an offer

Now, two, two, ten, one, five

Couple hours can change your life

Frankie sayin', "Oh what a night?" What a night?

What the 🙅🏻‍♀️ is a girlfriend? I'ma need advice

Maybe I should go outside so I could get a 🙅🏻‍♀️ life

I made a friends and she spent the night, and now

I'm in love and she remains in my life

And back when we spoke in Europe

I need insurance, on my emotions

I can't get hurt again

🙅🏻‍♀️ the past, 🙅🏻‍♀️ them, they all made me sad

And I had no time to prepare to face my fears

I guess that it's time that I dried these tears

But if I could just be happy by the end of this song

But if by the time you hear it, you are already gone

And it didn't go to plan, then why should I continue in this life

When there's no one around to be the one who makes me smile?

But so far everything's good

(Ooh)

Oh, oh

Whoa, whoa, oh-whoa, oh

Said, so far everything's good

No

Oh-no-no

No-no-no, no, no, oh, oh

I want the crowd in tears when they hear this

Is that so wrong?

here’s a picture that kinda describes the song 😁