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badassxbirdy · 9 months

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January Activity Update (Pinned Post)

It’s time once again for an activity update! If you’re new here: these posts help me to keep track of what the frick I’ve been doing, particularly when tumblr breaks or the brainfog strikes. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to do a full monthly update, so this one includes posts and drafts for October, November, and December. Everything else can be found in previous monthly updates under this tag. There’s also the full thread tracker here.

The full activity update (along with OOC house keeping) is below the cut. Bold text = links.

If you want to see all IC interactions without the other stuff, click here. If you’d like to start something new, there are opens and memes, or you can just hit up the DM’s. You can also add Ty on Wire for IC texting.

Now onto the update!

Housekeeping:

A couple of little tweaks have been made to the guidelines page. Nothing huge, mainly just an update on formatting in threads and fc’s.

Ty’s Wire is now working again! 🥳 If you didn’t get a reply last time you messaged her, please resend your message. Or just send her a new one/start a new convo if you’d rather. I also have regained access to the discord account. Same username as here so feel free to add me, just let me know who you are if you do. I only log in when I’m here actively working on drafts, so you may still prefer to use the DM’s to chat.

I don’t do this often, but I’m going to be giving my inbox a bit of a reset by deleting most of the unanswered memes. Even though those ones aren’t being posted, thank you for sending them!

I’m getting notifications for old reblogs and things I was tagged in a month ago, a few even longer ago than that. Some are repeated ones that I saw in my activity feed when they were first posted, but some are brand new to me so I’m very confused rn.

In a similar vein, it’s currently hit or miss as to whether I get a notification for being tagged in a post. It also doesn’t always show up in my actual tracked tag. With that being the case, If there is something I haven’t replied to that is not listed in this post, please let me know.

Still in the process of changing up my medication. We’re taking it slowly as I’m coming off one that is notoriously a pain in the neck for withdrawal symptoms. It’s been absolutely kicking my arse, so if I’m slow to respond to ooc messages, please do not feel ignored. I will answer when my brain is not making dialup noises. Thread replies will happen when they happen. I’m trying to put less pressure on myself, but as an anxious human and chronic people pleaser it’s a struggle. 😂

Threads, replies, and other IC interactions:

(In alphabetical order by username.)

@astormymind

Library ghost hunting with Finn (drafted)

@beastbitten

Extreme awkwardness. 😂 (link)

@demcnsinmymind

At the motel (link)

Azzy proved a point (link)

Taking Lance on a hunt (link)

Doing Lance’s hair! 😭 (link)

Mischief at the bar (link)

Car trouble (drafted)

An unwanted visitor, and Ty finds out the boy has powers! 👀 (queued)

@demonstigma

A weird conversation (queued)

@derschwarzeengel

Tyler is not sick. Definitely not. (link)

Damon? Talking about his trauma? It seems miracles do happen. (queued)

Ty finds Vampire!Damon (queued)

Roasting 50 shades (drafted)

“She’s a ghost AND a bitch!” (drafted)

@destroyerscved

“How did you find me?” (link) Sorry for the repost!

Magic bean juice (queued)

@discipulusmaleficus

Abandoned house (drafted)

@hellomynameisfuckyou

A tackle hug for Damsel (link)

@hvbris

A questionable attempt to cheer up Olive (link)

An appointment with Dr Soliman (link)

Meeting the captain (link)

Ty is confused by Wednesday (drafted. Sorry this one slipped through the cracks for so long!)

@imprvdente

Birthday fun (link)

At the motel with FBI!Fish (drafted)

@innerwar

Ty rescues Damon (link)

Being grumpy at Homelander (link)

Babysitting Jude/the Doc (drafted)

Bad jokes with Charm (queued. Sorry this one slipped through the cracks for so long!)

@kxllerblond

“You owe me a dinner. A very nice dinner.” (link)

@loyaltyguided

Birthday cuteness! (link)

@loyaltylanced

“Destiny can’t be changed.” (link)

@magaprima

Demon problems (queued)

Demon problems part 2: electric boogaloo (link)

@nightiingaled

KilliTy cuteness! (link)

Even more KilliTy cuteness! (link)

@tmrrwppl

I just couldn’t resist okay. Don’t question it. 😂 (link)

@vyrulent

Tyler meets Orobus Jones! (drafted)

Headcanon, dash games, and assorted silliness:

ELEVEN YEARS. ❤️ (link)

“Nothing to steal” (link)

Wanted poster dash game (link)

Damon’s birthday gift (link)

Say My Name drabble by Bramble! (link)

Pinterest dash game (link)

Ty’s Christmas mischief! (link)

I think that’s everything! As always: please let me know if I’ve missed something. I never intentionally drop threads without notifying, rest assured that if it’s not here I am either having a brain fart or I simply have not seen it. Remember to be kind to yourselves, and stay safe! ❤️ — Em

#activity update #pinned post

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luvkun4 · 2 years

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I'm currently being punished for not reproducing, so have some period thoughts~

I know we've talked about Nanami and Kunikida, but like the idea of them massaging you, wherever you're sore, I just can't even function. Back? Hips? Stomach? Between your legs is also great 🤭 And ofc fucking you soft to help you feel better but we've talked about that 🥴

Imo Kunikida definitely has your cravings and symptoms recorded. Hell, he probably knows your cycle as well if not better than you Idk if you've seen Community but that scene with Abed accidentally tracking their cycles but I'm thinking it started like that because I could completely see it. Also Ranpo sharing his snacks with you~

But also like. Nishiki eating you out while you're on your period 🤭🤭🤭 I feel like you'd have to talk him into it, not because he doesn't want to ,but because he's worried he'd like it too much. But him being gentle with you, laying you down on your back, starting slow, before he gets caught up in the way you taste on it, he'd get obsessed. Again like, Ghoul. So like. He's not opposed to the taste of blood, but mixed with your cum?

~🎀

finally getting around to this ask bc i am the one being punished atm </3

a massage from either of them would make me moan fr. first of all, their hands are quite large and boy do they know how to use them 😮‍💨 and they’d give you little kisses all over your body afterwards <33 i also wanna add in Reigen bc that man is canonically a good masseur 🤭

please and the slow fucking 🫠 the firm grasp on your hips is already easing some of the pain, but the long strokes and the pressure against your abdomen from how deep they are- 🥴 jfc my pussy would be fluttering like crazy having Nanami or Kunikida fuck me slow like that

Kunikida 100% has all your typical cravings listed, and yes, he keeps track of your cycle. he only does so bc he wants to make sure he has all your favorite snacks fully in stock for when the time comes, and that he has some free time to spend with you.

also Ranpo would be kind enough to share his snacks with you. he probably buys double of everything he already has so you join him in getting a sugar rush 💀

fuck, and Nishiki. i’ve been thinking about oral so much recently, this is not helping 🤕 he’d for sure worry about losing control bc he already has to hold back when you aren’t on your period. but when you finally get him to agree you’re both positive it’s the best decision ever made. the man gets sloppy. yes he starts slow & meticulous but it literally lasts a second bc that first taste of blood triggers him. eats you out like he’s a starving man having his first meal. makes you cum more than once just from his tongue bc he gets so pussy drunk he can’t stop

#i’m so ill rn #anons :: 🎀#[❤️‍🩹] brainrot #[ jjk thirsts ]#[ bsd thirsts ]#[ mp100 thirsts ]#[ tg thirsts ]

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thebibliosphere · 3 years

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Only if you have the spoons this is a desperate migraine question

I have chronic intractable daily (ie 24/7 for the past two years) migraine with aura. The past six days have been 9/10 constant pain (I live my life at a 6-7 from my combo of medical issues) , too much nausea to eat, can't sleep, can't function.

My neurologists think I have MCAS/hEDS and I'm already diagnosed hyperPOTS. I can't see an allergist until at least January. My jaw constantly dislocates on one side so that's definitely making the migraine worse, the way the joint has gotten all crooked and asymmetrical.

I'm doing everything I can to see the doctors I need but right now I'm just miserable and what do I do?

Oh, friend, I'm so sorry. I don't know if it's an option for you, but if your neurologist is able to get you into physical rehab specifically for your jaw (and likely some cervical instability, if I'm honest) then that might be a good option to help with the muscle fuckery likely contributing to this.

Instability is one of the major inducing factors for migraines in patients with EDS, and also general hypermobile joint disorders, so getting things stabilized (as much as possible) is often necessary for any kind of long-term relief.

If you visit a chiropractor, I would advise avoiding any neck/jaw/upper back adjustments until you have been properly evaluated, as those adjustments might be causing short-term relief but prolonged damage. Once you know what you're dealing with, you can talk to your doctors about what methods of treatment are safe for you.

As for MCAS... I really hope you are able to find doctors who know how to both test* and treat it, but it makes me hopeful that your neurologist is even aware of it, as histamine is a major factor in chronic migraines and I wish more doctors knew it. (link)

There are many safe and effective mast cell stabilizers a doctor might want you to try, but the first line of defense in MCAS are h1 and h2 histamine blockers, which are things readily available otc like Zyrtec (h1) and Pepcid (h2).

If you're not already on any histamine blockers, I'd talk to your doctor about doing a trial run of something simple like Zyrtec. It's not uncommon for those of us with MCAS and histamine issues to require double the recommended dose to see any benefit, so that might also be good for you to know.

I know these types of meds are available otc, but please Always talk to a doctor before starting any medicine and especially when considering doubling up on any medicine. It's very possible to overdose on antihistamines, though it's more likely on things like Benadryl.

Vitamin D also contributes to mast cell stability, so if you're deficient, (or even if your numbers are just a bit low) I'd suggest getting on a supplement to help give your body the support it needs. (I'm paraphrasing my EDS specialist here, but this can also help with EDS and joint pain, as we burn through our stores quicker from our bodies always needing to repair things!)

You might also want to look at your diet and see if cutting down your histamine intake might help, as there's a good chance if you have MCAS, your body is not processing histamine properly. There are many online lists that talk about Histamine Intolerance, but the most reliable I've found to date—and the one all my health care providers defer to— is the Food Compatibility List from the Swiss Interest Group Histamine Intolerance (SIGHI) (link)

The list is obviously not definitive as everyone's bodies are different in what they react to, but it can be a good starting point to help figure out where there are any potential triggers in your diet that might be causing problems. Try to keep a food diary to find any possible triggers, if you aren't already.

I would highly recommend finding a dietician to help walk you through the elimination and reintroduction process, as it will help you keep track of things, but also ensure you are doing it safely, as extreme low histamine diets are not sustainable long term, and can actually make MCAS worse as your health begins to deteriorate from lack of nutrients. The goal is not zero histamine in the diet, it's to get your body to stop overreacting to safe things so you can eventually add things back in and live as normally as possible.

Again, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Facing any of these diagnoses is hard. All three is just a genetic trifecta of fuckery. The good news is once you start to treat the main issue, the others might settle down too, and hopefully the migraines with it.

Best of luck. I hope you find relief soon and the care you need.

*A lot of the testing is inaccurate, and we desperately need better means of testing. A lot of doctors are now switching to clinical diagnosis based on symptoms and response to mast cell stabilizing treatment. So even if your test results come back "normal" (mine do unless I'm actively anaphylaxing!) and your problems are still persisting, try finding another doctor willing to monitor your response to mast cell disorder treatment methods.

#chronic health tag #mcas #migraine

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hersimplehauntsbeyond · 2 years

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4/10/22 | 6:51 pm, est

Oh boy! It’s been almost exactly a year since my last study entry! This past year has been very rough on my health. Although I’ve somehow managed to avoid getting COVID (so far) my chronic illness has gotten worse. To keep it short, and to spare you the mile long list of symptoms, my disease shares the most in common with ME/CFS (most commonly known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). So while I wait for my referral to Boston Children’s Hospital to finalize, I’ve been trying to relearn how to study. For the time-being I’ve found that copious amounts of caffeine and dual stimulation helps me to stay on track. Today this means working on an embroidering project whilst conducting research for a history essay. I made this blog to give me motivation to study, and today it’s working. Let’s hope I get some answers soon, but in the mean time the most I can do is the most I can do.

This past year has given me a lot of time to reflect upon my relationship to academia and how much my grades have become a part of my identity. One of the biggest things I’ve learned is this: Your grades are not a reflection of your intellectual ability. Your grades do not determine how smart you are. Test scores do not determine how smart you are. Do not let a mere (highly flawed) system of measurement define your academic success. You are smart. You are capable. The most you can do is the most you can do. You got this.

#studyblr #studyspo #study motivation #chronic illness #me/cfs #academia #embroidery #bonus points to whoever recognizes what i'm embroidering/where it's from #study log

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sashi-ya · 3 years

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{+18} - Law x Fem Best Friend ♥ CH.2

♥ Daily living with the Heart pirates crew AU ♥ Spoilers after Dressrosa Arc. Law´s backstory. ♥ Female reader. Little physical description. Everybody is 18+, canon ages. ♥ TW: Nightmares related to PTSD. Little NSFW. no further warnings. If you think I should include some feel free to tell me ♥Thank you for the likes and follows, I appreciate it them so so much! If you wanna know when I’ll be updating the next chapters, you can follow me on Twitter @LawIsMyWaifu, come interact I love to have mutuals that love Law and One Piece as much as I do ♥

Word count: 4.1K

» List of parts: {CH1} {CH2} {CH3} {CH4} {CH5} «

Chapter 2.

The sound of his low, raspy voice resonated all over my head, making my body react instantly. I gasped as I felt a strike of pleasure travelling down my stomach to in between my legs. Closing my eyes, unable to move, I didn’t want to move, I wanted him to keep whispering, to kiss my neck… “Hahahaha, I’m sorry, I’m just fooling around, your face, you look astonished Y/N-ya”, he said while laying back on the bed, laughing. I chuckled as I stood up brushing my clothes as if I was trying to fix them. “Stop it, I’m not into that you ass. Goodnight”, I said trying to dissimulate how agitated and embarrassed I was.

Almost running, I left the room, directly to mine, holding on my hand my underwear. I jumped to my bed resting violently on my back. “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” ... a little time passed until I passed out.

Hard knocks on my door woke me up. “Vice-Captain!! wake up! breakfast is ready!!!” Clione shouted from the corridor. “God damn how many times I have to tell this whole crew I fucking hate being awakened with shouting?” I mumbled annoyed, covering my face with the sheets.

I was brushing my hair when I remembered my “memory box” for some reason. Opened my drawer and found the little velvet red box that holds my “treasures”. Inside, there is a photo of my parents with me when I was 7, happy, eating some ice cream with them. It was taken during one of “the white parades”, on Flevance, before everything turned into hell. A little blue bow that my little sister used to wear, some photos of Law, Bepo, Shachi, Penguin and me when we were the only members of our crew. And, a necklace Law made with some seashells as a gift for my 15th birthday, were also inside.

I got watery eyes while looking at it, “I must be getting old”, I thought, “I got emotional over the memories” ... laughed and put everything back to its place.

“Morning..” I said, greeting the whole crew that was already devouring their breakfast. I noticed Law wasn’t there, so I had to ask. Uni told me he was in the control room preparing for the arrival at the next island. I took a few pancakes and some tea and headed to the control room to ask my captain if he needed help.

“Good morning, doc”, I saluted him. Law that was seated facing the controls, turned the chair to look at me nodding. He has more dark circles as always, so I asked him, “Oi, did you sleep last night? are you feeling sick again?”. “I’m ok, I didn’t get much sleep last night. I got caught up with the book I was reading”, he answered with his usual unfriendly tone. “Yeah, right” I answered back, rolling my eyes, and proceeded “Let me know if you need something before we get to the island”. Left the control room and went back to my room.

I knew him well to know he hadn't slept because something was worrying him, and not because he was reading the old comic book of “Sora, the warrior of the sea against the evil Germa 66”. But hey, Law never shows any emotion besides annoyance if he is not sick.

A few hours later, the submarine got to the shore of some winter island, and we all got ready to accomplish our assigned tasks. “Ok everyone, we will meet here at 7 pm, is that clear?” told my crew members, everybody agreed and headed to the island.

The temperature was pretty low, and it was snowing. Law was wearing the long black coat with yellow dots and our Jolly Roger that he used to wear at Punk Hazard, his hat and of course the Kikoku over his shoulder. I love when he wears warm clothing, he looks so cozy, hiding his mouth behind the collar. (He does it so his lips don’t get chapped with the cold breeze, haha). I don't like to wear the boiler-suit when we get to explore islands, so I decided to wear a long yellow coat with a hood, also with our crew's Jolly Roger emblazoned on the left side of the chest.

We asked a few civilians where to find a pharmacy and headed to the destination following their instructions. Law didn’t say much during the walking, as he normally does.

The island seemed a little bit deserted, yet it had picturesque streets, full of colour that stand out from the snow. It has cobbled lanes, some canals of crystallized water, there were wooden houses and shops with little lights that garnished their architecture giving the place a romantic aura. The scenery behind the city center included big snowed mountains and a big castle over one of the highest peaks.

I saw a boutique with some cute sweaters on display that caught my eyes and I wanted to try them on. “Law, would you mind if I enter here? I want to buy a new sweater.”, I said. Law looked at me and made a gesture with his hand as he was saying to go ahead.

While searching for the sweater I like on one of the clothing racks I saw through the shop window that a few kids approached the captain. The seller asked me if I needed some help, so I stopped looking at him and l directed my gaze to the girl in the shop. So, I forget about him.

After buying two cute pullovers, we continued walking through the picturesque streets.

When we finally arrived at the pharmacy shop, it seemed like it was closed, but the door was open, so we entered. I rang the bell over the counter and waited for someone to show up. Law walked in front of me and had his hand over his sword. I knew he was alert and trying to protect me even if he didn’t say a word. I didn’t think we could be in danger, yet he never fully relaxes when we are outside. After all, he is one of the most wanted pirates of our generation, so it's understandable he trusts no stranger.

After a minute or so, an old lady approached the counter from the inside of the store. She seemed a little weak and perhaps a little sick. She coughed, covering her mouth with a handkerchief, and then greeted us. “Good afternoon, how can I help you?”, she asked. Law handed her a list of supplies we needed, and we waited. “Oi, don’t you think she looks bad? I mean, she is probably sick, should I ask if she is ok?”, I told Law who gave me a disapproving sight. I rolled my eyes, and said, “Fiiiine…”, “You know that I hate you rolling your eyes at me, you did it yesterday and now too. Stop it.” I looked at him with an “excuse me?” face and while I was about to spit an insult to him the granny appeared. “I’m sorry, I put on the bag some of the supplies, but I don’t have everything you need. We are short on medicines'', she informed us and started coughing harder. “Excuse me, Mrs. Are you alright? are you sick?”, I asked as she seemed to lose composure from all the nagging coughing. Law, that hated when I don’t give a fuck about what he had just said, gave me the look of death. “Oh young lady, we are pretty much sick, a strange illness is hitting the island. Even the only doctor in town fell ill. The orphanage, though, is getting the worst part. All of the kids are bedridden”, as she said, the memories of Flevance and the amber lead disease hit me.

Law's expression changed to a more compassionate one and asked about the symptoms they were experiencing. He might be serious, he might not want to get involved in a lot of things, but he is a true doctor. And he can't let people die if he can help.

We decided to visit the orphanage in hopes of helping the sick people, so we asked the old lady to give us directions to it. She said it was pretty far from the city center and told us her husband would take us there with his cart.

"Thank you so much for offering your help, young doctors", said the old lady's husband that later told us his name was Gerald. The cart was pulled by two brown percheron horses that opened their way through the white landscape.

We had a small talk during the journey, until Gerald asked, "how long have you been together? Are you already married?". Despite the freezing cold weather, my cheeks turned to fire, and I could sense Law hiding his head even more into his coat and hat. Almost as if clarifying that we were no couple was a life or death situation I said, "WE ARE JUST BEST FRIENDS!". I realized I almost shouted and felt mortified. Gerald looked at us with a little smirk and kind eyes, excusing himself for the mistake.

A few minutes after we arrived at the orphanage. It took us almost 30 minutes to get there and the sun was starting to set on the horizon.

When we entered the place, the situation was worse than we thought. There were kids and adults lying on the ground, some of them shivering, others coughing while others were straight unconscious. A few nurses were working in order to maintain them, but the situation had clearly surpassed them.

Immediately Law and I started working. While I helped the nurses, Law used his ope ope no mi power to scan the bodies of the sick people.

We got to the conclusion that what they were suffering was a type of bacteria that caused the respiratory symptoms and the fever.

During our duty, there were times when our eyes interlocked, and we smiled at each other. I wouldn't say we like people suffering, but, we certainly enjoyed working to save lives together.

A few hours passed since we arrived there, the sun was already set, and outside it seemed as if a snowstorm was beginning. I've lost track of time until my portable Den Den Mushi started to ring. "Oi, y/n, where are you? Is Law with you? Are you alright? We've been waiting for you on the shore! It's 9 pm already and we were supposed to meet at 7!", shouted Shachi from the other side of the line. "Oh my God I'm sorry I forgot to tell you!... you see …" I explained to them what we've been doing and that we were probably not going to return to the submarine in a few more hours.

The kids and the other people began to get better and those who were helping there offered us some food that we accepted happily.

While we were having dinner, Gerald got back from outside, who's been in the forest collecting some firewood. He informed us that the weather was getting really bad so coming back to town would be pretty dangerous.

Law and I agreed that staying there for the night was the safer choice.

One of the nurses, Sister Alley, told us we could spend the night in the cabin next to the orphanage. "I'm really sorry guys, I wished we had a better place for you, we owe you so much. The cabin has a fireplace, Gerald would start a fire to keep you warm”, she said. We both smiled at her and thanked for it.

We walked some meters through the forest until we started to catch sight of a wooden cabin. Despite being a strong pirate, I’m the queen of the clumsy people, so I slipped off with what I assume was an ice patch on the already snowy ground. I was about to hit the ground when Law grabbed me by the waist and saved me from a few bruises. His face in front of mine, the feeling of being safe on his arms, I wished it has been eternal. But the romantic moment was destroyed by Law mocking me. “It must be the devil fruit; how come you are so clumsy? Be careful”, he said, and I told him to shut up, this time I wasn’t embarrassed, but I was almost angry at him.

“Here we are, let me help you with the fire”, Gerald said, opening the wood door that creaked as it moved. The inside felt cozy, there were a few cushions and pillows on the ground next to the fireplace. There were no separate rooms, so in the middle of the lounge there was some kind of mattress with a few blankets over it. Our “host” asked for forgiveness about the lack of separate beds, but Law intercepted him and said, “It’s ok sir, we are grateful to have a warm place to stay until tomorrow. If you need help with any patient during the night, just please tell us”. It might be ok for you, damn Law. Was I supposed to sleep with him? - I mean, I wanted to, but, he was still my best friend, and those thoughts should have been erased.

Gerald wished us a good night and returned to the main building.

I hung my coat and as I love to explore, I started to do so around the little wooden house. The kitchen seemed really equipped, so I grabbed a kettle and some cups. Gerald was kind enough to give us some tea bags, so I thought making some tea was a great idea.

Law was next to the fireplace, wearing only a sweater and his jeans. Apparently he has already hung up his coat and his white spotted hat. I saw him once more with a lost sight that seemed to contemplate the firewood.

Looking at him with my face resting on my arm that was over the breakfast nook, I got lost worshiping his profile. I’ve always adored his upturned nose, his spiky black hair, his facial hair, the contrast between his grey eyes and the tanned skin. How come he has always been so handsome, but I’ve never seemed to fully realize?.

The whistle of the kettle intensified as the water started boiling, but I was so into admiring my best friend's beauty that I didn’t notice. Law turned to me and woke me up from my reverie shouting “Oi, Y/N, the kettle!”. My stupid smile quickly erased from my face, and my whole skin turned red. “Sorry”, I said straight away and turned off the burner.

I served two cups, noticing that the tea has an amazing scent. I believe it was hibiscus mixed with some other spices, perhaps some cardamom and maybe a little hint of clover. The smell of the tea mixed with the slightly one from the logs burning, was wonderful.

I walked to where my captain was, “Here, I think you may like it”, I said and handed him a cup. Our fingers brushed softly when grabbed the tea, he looked at me and said “Thanks”. I sat not so near him over one of the cushions and sipped a little bit of my tea. Law looked at me and stood up from his place. I could sense how awkward he felt when he made a little pause, and then walked away.

Why is he leaving? Did I make him feel uncomfortable?, I asked myself trying to hide little stings of pain on my chest that traveled to my throat. Somehow I felt like crying, and when my eyes started to get slightly watery, Law approached me placing his hand over my right shoulder.

I turned my face to him, looking up with a slightly pouty face. I was about to cry, and I didn’t even know why when I noticed a blue little box on his hand.

He sat next to me and said, "Do you remember when we were 15?, that day when I gave you that necklace I made myself for your birthday? I looked at him confused but I answered, "yes, of course, I got it on my memory box, I'm afraid to wear it outside the polar cause it might get lost and I wouldn't forgive myself if I lose it". He was now looking at the little box moving it around nervously and finally said "I got you a better one". He handed me the little box still not looking at me.

"A present?? OMG Law, thank you very much!" When did you buy it??" I almost shouted in excitement while opening the box. Inside there was a fine rose gold necklace that has a little anatomical heart figure as a pendant. I grabbed it and admired the beauty of the jewelry I had in my hands. The heart had a little red stone crimped on it, that shined with every movement.

"Law, this is too much! It must have cost you a lot of Berries, I don't deserve such a fine jewel!, thank you so much", I expressed with a big smile on my face.

"You do deserve more than this, you know. I'm glad you like it", he said, a little embarrassed. “When you were buying the sweaters, I asked some children there if they knew a jewelry store, turned out it was just around the corner”, he confessed.

“Thank you so much, it is just perfect! You know how I adore hearts; they remind me of you.. “Doctor Heart Stealer”” I almost shouted, realizing I have said too much…

I tried to put it on my neck, but I couldn’t clip it right, so I asked him for help. He stood up, kneel at my back and passed from behind the necklace around my neck.

Some branches hit the window violently as they were suffering the merciless wind of the snowstorm outside.

He struggled a little and finally fastened the collar and when he did, the electric power went off. The fireplace was the only source of light, the dance of the fire created figures with shadows and highlights all around the walls of the cabin. We remained silent, maybe a little scared or even surprised, but enjoying the sound of the weather and the creak of the fire.

He was still behind me, and after a few seconds he placed a soft kiss on my back that sent a shiver through my spine. Once again I was unable to speak, did he… did he just kiss my back?.. Before I could say or do something Law stood up and headed to one of the windows. “The storm seems to be even worse than earlier; don’t you think?”, he said, trying to device something through the window.

I couldn’t focus on anything else than the kiss he softly planted on my nape, minutes ago. He suddenly yawned and walked to the mattress that was in the center of the room, on the floor. He then took his jeans off and hopped inside the bed, naturally. I remained on my spot, contemplating his actions. “How could he be acting so normal?, I’m right here. He just gave me a necklace, kissed my skin and now he just goes to sleep?” I said to myself, still with a confused expression on my face.

“Oi, aren’t you coming to bed?”, he asked me, freely. “Yes… give me a second”, I said, and ran to the bathroom. The toilet was pretty tiny and basic, but enough for me to hide for a few minutes. “Come on, Y/N you slept with him two nights ago, it’s ok, he is like your brother, it’s ok…” I thought, trying to calm myself down.

I finally left my hiding place and headed to the mattress. Law was lying there, he took off his sweater, probably while I was in the bathroom, so he was only using a white tight undershirt, that molded his torso anatomy. Some blankets were covering the under part of his body from his hips. He had his forearm over his eyes, covering them with his neck stretched back.

I bite my lip, as a reaction for such a tempting scene. I was enjoying it, watching him breathe peacefully. I started feeling hot, so I took off the sweater but not my jeans and approached the “bed”.

I thought Law was already asleep, so I got in bed trying not to wake him up. I muffled myself up with the sheets. I remained still, hearing the snowstorm, fixing my eyes on the wooden ceiling, as the memories of my childhood flooded my mind. It must be the snowstorm, the wind, the cold that triggered these memories. eventually I fell asleep.

“No, stop it, my family, leave us alone!!!!”, I screamed. “Y/n-ya! Y/n-ya!, wake up!” said Law, pulling me out from the terrific oneiric world I was submerged in. I got lost into his eyes, and remained there with tears streaming from my eyes, rolling into my cheeks. Law was holding me close to his body around his arms. “Are you having those nightmares, again? why didn’t you tell me?”, he asked, worried. “This is the first time in ages, I think it must be the storm, perhaps the orphanage, the children…”, I expressed amid tears. My best friend brushed his tattooed fingers through my hair, moving it out of my face, and then wiped the tears from my cheeks.

“Oi, do you remember what happened when I gave you the first necklace?” he asked, trying to distract me. A feeling of warmth invaded my insides, suddenly I felt happy. “I do...” I said, laughing timidly, and continued, “It was my first kiss”. He smiled back at me, and said, “Mine too”.

For a second we both closed our eyes. I was grabbing the pendant with my left hand cherishing it and the memories of our younger days when we kissed for the first time. We haven't had much time to think about love while striving to survive so we forgot about it, letting the days, months and years pass, leaving the experience as a mere child’s play.

Suddenly we started laughing, Law didn't let go of me, and our faces were pretty close. “Everything's better when you laugh, I hate it when you cry, it makes me so sad…” he said, rubbing his thumb over my right cheek. I stopped laughing, as he got even closer. Almost as if the point of our noses were about to touch. I could feel the warmth of his breath over my lips, and he did too. My heart started racing, and the only thing I could hear was the blood pumping on my ears. I wasn’t moving, I wanted him to kiss me, I wanted to kiss him… I just didn’t care that he was my best friend, I just needed him to kiss me. What is taking him so long? Why am I not moving if I wanted this more than anything?. After a good minute, that felt eternal, he exclaimed “Fuck it”, and plant the sweetest kiss over my lips. A feeling of happiness filled my insides, I’ve never been so joyful in ages, it felt the same way as the first time. I was like a teenage girl experimenting love for the first time. Both smiled still with our lips pressed. I doubted for a second if succumbing to my deepest desires was the right thing to do until he decided to turn the cute kiss into a more passionate one. From then on, the desire I’d been accumulating inside of me took control of my body…

We kept on kissing; Law slid a hand under my shirt timidly caressing the skin of my tummy. The kisses migrated from my mouth to my neck, mixed with little bites that surely would turn into hickies tomorrow.

“Law…” I gasped when his hands reached my breasts. “What?” he replied, whispering next to my ear and pinching one of my nipples in between two fingers…

Chapter 3

Ch1: Link

#Trafalgardwaterlaw #one piece law #law x reader #trafalgar d law x reader #Trafalgar law x reader #one piece x reader

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mavstudentvoice · 3 years

Text

Struggling with Mental Health in College

College is a stressful thing even without all the stressors and triggers of everyday life. All the stress can wear on your mental health, and make college even more difficult to complete. During my time at Minnesota State University, Mankato, I had to overcome many mental health challenges all while trying to complete my studies, work a part-time job, and socialize with my family and friends. By reaching out for help, and being open about my mental health I was, and still am improving my mental health.

My Mental Health Journey

When I left for college, anxiety, and depression was definitely a part of my life, but not noticeable in a way that affected my everyday routine or schedule. It wasn’t until I left for Mankato that my mental health started to become out of hand and was affecting my social and educational life.

Leaving for college, like many other students, was the first time I was away from all the support systems I had while I was living at home. But now I was away from all my family and friends, and out of my comfort zone. As a result, my depression and anxiety became much worse.

I started to avoid going on campus at all costs, and I would only go on campus for class. I wouldn’t talk to any of my classmates, let alone make eye contact. I basically didn’t want to leave my apartment, and I would spend most of my time in my room avoiding my roommates as well. I basically started to completely isolate myself from the world, and everyone in it.

My Support System

I would call my parents almost daily to talk to them because as I said before they were my biggest support system. When I was upset or stressed about something I would go to them for help. I started to become so homesick that I went home every weekend to be with my family. Eventually, my parents said they started to notice major changes in my personality and my mood, and they were concerned. My entire family has at some point dealt with anxiety and/or depression, so they knew the symptoms and signs to look for. They suggested that I talk to a physician on campus and see what they could offer to help me and my mental health journey.

Reaching Out for Help

So, I called the University’s clinic and set up a mental health assessment. Throughout the meeting, I told my physician about how I was feeling, how my mental health was affecting my education and my social life along with just overall happiness, and my family’s history with depression and anxiety. After our meeting, I started to feel like I could see the light at the end of this long, dreary, and lonely tunnel. I was going to start taking antidepressants, and my campus physician provided a list of therapy clinics that were available to me both on and off-campus.

Coping Skills

Over time my mental health started to slowly improve, and along the way, I learned different techniques to overcome depressive episodes or panic attacks. I’ve been going to therapy, taking antidepressants, and I’ve improved on communicating with my friends and family. I did go through a rough patch over Covid-19, but honestly who didn’t, am I right? But I eventually got back on track and have been growing and improving day by day.

As for where I am on my mental health journey now, I’d label it as a work in progress. I’ve definitely grown and bettered myself and my mental health, but there are still things I need to conquer and address.

Don’t Be Afraid to Talk

Addressing mental health challenges isn’t a quick fix, it takes time and effort in order to get positive results. My experience with mental health has made me appreciate all those in my life who were there to support me and encourage me along my journey. And I want to be that same person for other people, so I’ve become a big advocate for talking about mental health.

Growing up, the subject of mental health always felt like such a taboo thing to talk about—something you should keep hidden from others. But I think the more people talk about it, the less lonely everyone who struggles with mental health issues will feel.

If you’ve made it to the end, I hope reading about my mental health journey has helped you in some way. Whether it’s informed you of campus resources, encouraged you to start working on your mental health, or has given you a better understanding of what people with depression or anxiety go through on a daily basis, I hope my story has brought some form of light to the end of your dark tunnels.

#mental health #maverick #college #mnsu

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whatstruthgottodowithit · 4 years

Note

Yo omg u should so write a derek shepherd x reader fic! Do you mind writing one where he's super sweet and takes care of you at the hospital while you're on a long shift? Would love to read it :D

Post Night Shift Care

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy Pairing: Derek Shepherd x Reader Characters: Derek Shepherd, Reader, Richard Webber, Miranda Bailey Word Count: 1590 // Rating: Teen Summary: You have a patient that needs attention, Derek helps where he can. Tags/ Warnings: Established Relationship, Angst, Love, Request, Patient Death, Medicine, Intensive Care, ICU, Punishment, Failed Care, Upset, Crying, Comfort Notes: sorry it took so long for me to do! I’ve been on the Halloween train! x @ferryboatstho updated 9/22

‘I don’t care what you want or how you feel. You got this patient into this mess and you are going to sit with them until they’re better,’ Bailey said, though she was shorter than you she still felt like she was towering above you when she got serious, ‘until they’re at least well enough not to be in the ICU you are going to care for them at every turn and make every single decision that needs to be made.’ ‘But Bailey-’ you tried to interject with plausible reasons not to babysit a patient forever but she threw up a finger and stopped your words in their tracks. ‘No buts. I don’t want to see another intern, a resident, a nurse or anyone near this patient. Their fate is in your hands. Maybe then you’ll take your assignments seriously and not shrug off other people’s concerns,’ she said with a tut before she exited the ICU room through its automatic door leaving you alone with only the beeps of the machines and the forced respirations of the ventilator was providing your patient.

You sighed and threw yourself into the chair in the corner of the room grumbling about the reasons you shouldn’t be taken off of the floor. You knew you had messed up. The patient was a man in his 30s who had come in with alcoholic pancreatitis. He had been in for days and days. Always whining about the doctors and the nurses. He wanted painkillers all the time but you had caught him outside chain-smoking countless times. You hadn’t paid him much attention. When the nurses paged you had put him as your lowest priority to respond as you knew he was only going to ask for something inane and keep you stranded for an hour. When they had paged you about him having a high heart rate you had glanced at his chart and seeing it was always high you had shrugged it off. You had been paged about him having a temperature you had sighed and told them to carry on with antibiotics.

It had been the wrong call. He had been seriously unwell, his pancreatitis was much worse than expected. His blood results had shown that before the rest of the symptoms started but you had put them to the back of your list because of your own personal views. His organs were failing and you hadn’t caught it meaning he was now in intensive care, ventilated and circling the drain because of your failings. You knew you had messed up. Bailey and the chief had not failed to let you know it but it wasn’t enough that you understood for some reason she had insisted to the chief you should be forced to work solely with this patient. He had agreed.

So you were stuck in this room for the next few days. You had to make every decision and implement all of his care. You sighed and got to work. You worked on updating everything for about half an hour. The patient was repositioned. The ventilator was checked and settings were amended. The charts were updated and medications were given. You were stuck. There was nothing to do. It was a slow day. You had only one solace. Derek.

You hadn’t been home since yesterday and had only seen him briefly in the on-call room where you had explained your situation. He wasn’t as outraged as you had hoped, the teacher in him understood Bailey’s motivations but he was sympathetic about your punishment as much as he could be. He popped in around hour five. You were thrilled to see him even if it was just so you could nip out for a pee. You had been waiting for almost an hour for one of the nurses to be free to relieve you from your duty for a moment.

‘So,’ Derek said as you returned from the bathroom, ‘how are you holding up?’ ‘I’m okay,’ you shrugged, sitting on the stool beside the chair he was sitting in. ‘Are you still bitter about it?’ he chuckled, ‘because that’ll get you nowhere.’ ‘I’m not bitter,’ you said, rolling your eyes. ‘Yeah sure,’ he laughed, ‘well I got you something to cheer you up anyway.’ ‘You did?’ you asked as he produced two coffee cups and a bagel from your favourite coffee cart. ‘Your favourite,’ he said as he handed them over with a smile. You smiled giddily as you took them off of him hearing your stomach grumble as you did. The two of you chatted as you ate and drank his treats with Derek asking for an update on the case to see whatever help he could give you for when Bailey rounded in the morning. He was explaining an experimental treatment he’d heard about for organ failure and pancreatitis back in New York. You were just wiping cream cheese from your chin as Derek’s face changed and he leapt up to look at the monitor. The patient was crashing. They leapt into action as help came from outside. It was a flurry of activity for around 20 minutes before the patient’s vitals resolved and got back to something that was almost okay.

Y/N sighed as people started exiting the room leaving just you and Derek once more. ‘You okay?’ he said as you perused the patient’s chart wondering what could have been missed. ‘Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just gonna look over his chart for a while, see what I need to do,’ you said, not looking up. Derek smiled and nodded patting you on the back before he left you to it. You poured over the chart trying to find out why your patient was getting worse despite all of your efforts. You were trying so hard to correct his problems but every time you solved one another one popped up.

After a couple of hours, Derek popped his head in once more to see how you were doing. You didn’t look up as he entered, pouring over a book intently. ‘Any luck?’ he said. ‘Not yet,’ you sighed rubbing your tired eyes. ‘You want me to stay tonight?’ he said and you looked up at his face that was watching you with concern. ‘No it’s okay,’ you said, ‘besides one of us should get a good night’s sleep tonight.’ ‘Okay, I’ll see you in the morning,’ he said leaning down to kiss you on the top of your head and you reached up and stroked the side of his face for just a moment before going back to your book. He slipped out quietly.

In the morning Derek returned bright-eyed with coffee and pastries ready to have breakfast before starting rounds. He dressed in his scrubs and made his way up to the ICU. He rounded the corner to the room but found it empty. The bed was made but there was no patient in the bed. The equipment was pushed back into the corner of the room and sterilised. Derek sighed, this wasn’t good. He went to the nurses’ station and asked around trying to find his girl. After a couple of misdirections, he found her in the on-call room. You lay in the bed, the bedclothes gathered up around her face, tucking you in. ‘Hey,’ he said sadly and you looked up with a sad smile. ‘Not good huh?’ he said sitting on the bed and placing the coffee and the bag of bagels on the small table beside it. ‘Nope,’ you said sitting up and leaning into him as he pulled you into the crux of his arm.

‘What happened?’ he asked. ‘He wasn’t responding to anything. He was maxed out on everything and it just didn’t work. His liver was already failing, his kidneys were shot and then one by one everything followed. I killed him.’ ‘You didn’t kill him. You tried everything you could,’ Derek said stroking your back sympathetically. He couldn’t see your face but he could feel the dampness on his shoulder as you started to cry. ‘I should’ve tried harder in the first place. I should’ve listened to the nurses I should’ve-’ you started to ramble but Derek pulled your head off his shoulder. He wiped your eyes dry and smiled, ‘sometimes it can’t be helped. And maybe you should have listened to the nurses but will you do it again? No. Will you prioritise your patients or push those you don’t like to the back of your list? No. Because you know better now.’ ‘Bailey might have been right,’ you smiled weakly. ‘Bailey knows what she’s doing. She’s been there. We all have and it’s a hard lesson to learn, how not to let grudges come between us.’ ‘He really was hard work you now,’ you said. ‘People are,’ Derek chuckled, ‘that’s not gonna change. Sometimes you have to instead.’ ‘I hate having you around sometimes. With your words of wisdom,’ you said, flopping down onto the bed and throwing your arm across your eyes. ‘Hey, at least I bring coffee,’ he chuckled leaning down to kiss you on the lips.

#My writing #requests #fic requests #requested fic #greys anatomy #derek shepherd #derek shepherd x reader #derek shepherd fic #greys fic #greys anatomy fic #post Night Shift care

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corvus--rex · 3 years

Text

So, to start off with, these are a little rough. Mostly cleaned up for spelling/grammar, but there are things that are more like placeholder notes in exposition form that would be written out if I went back to it.

This one's working title is Quantum Fracture, is "in universe" non-canon compliant, and is set both near the end of s.2 after ep.9, and a few years post s.8. It's also only semi-abandoned. I like it and want to keep going with it, but I've hit a wall and just can't do anything with it right now. It has (sort-of) time travel and "Galra genetics are weird" resulting in Klance kids. It does also switch between times, but those sections have punctuation separators.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Lance, Pidge, keep watch on the area. Keith, Hunk, and I will go down to check it out,” Shiro said over the comms.

“Got it.”

“Copy that.”

Green and Blue split off from the V-formation, flying over the asteroid while Black, Red, and Yellow landed on its surface. Lance and Pidge kept a visual track on their friends while keeping their scanners active for anything in the area. Team Voltron had been on their way back to the Castle after liberating another planet from the Galra Empire when Pidge’s more finely-tuned scanners picked up on what looked like an abandoned Galra base embedded in an asteroid. Shiro made the call to check it out and let Allura and Coran know what was going on, keeping Lance and Pidge on watch. The Black Paladin took point, with Keith right behind him. Hunk brought up the rear, man-portable cannon ready for whatever might try to sneak up on them. The facility was powered down, a layer of dust on every surface.

“Looks like it really is abandoned,” Keith said, “I don’t think there’s anyone or anything left here.”

“Agreed, but I want to complete a sweep of the facility. Never know what might have been left behind,” Shiro replied.

They continued on, not making any real effort at stealth, but only made it about another 20 feet before a side door creaked and flew open, Keith finding himself blown out into space, despite Hunk’s effort to prevent it. Keith tried to use his jetpack to redirect himself and head back to the facility, but there was just enough gravity generated by the density of the asteroid field to pull him toward the nearest surface. He bounced off the next asteroid, damaging his jetpack in the process. It sent him away from the asteroid field and into open space.

This isn’t how this was supposed to go, Keith thought as he floated in the void, then realized just how much Lance was rubbing off on him. His back hit a second, smaller asteroid, and he bounced off into the nothingness. Come on, Red. Where are you?

He felt the shift in the vacuum an instant before the sensors in his armor picked it up. The short chirp announced the sensors’ findings, bringing it up on the HUD. The display’s minimal capabilities showed the slight variant, a faint ripple in the fabric of space.

“The fuck is that?” he asked the void of space.

He hadn’t expected an answer, and didn’t get one. What he did get was the familiar mental pressure of the red Lion, immediately followed by the equally familiar golden glow of the robotic cat’s eyes. Red swallowed the paladin’s free-floating body, and he rolled through the slowly pressurizing corridor before the artificial gravity activated. He had only just taken his seat in the cockpit when he heard Pidge shouting across the comms.

“Keith! Are you ok? There was a spatial-temporal fluctuation right next to you.”

“Yeah, I felt it, but I'm ok,” he answered, exhausted from the mission and subsequent launch into space.

Green came up alongside Red, guiding them back to the Castle, Blue right behind them. Once the three Paladins were back aboard the Castle of Lions, Pidge insisted that Keith go to the medical deck, just in case.

“Ok, fine, Pidge. But I'm fine. Really,” Keith protested while simultaneously giving in.

She didn’t trust him to really go, but she was also concerned with the anomaly she found, so didn’t question it when Lance volunteered to make sure Keith went.

“Keith, what were you thinking?” Lance asked when they were alone.

“I don’t know what happened. It wasn’t anything I did and Hunk and Shiro will figure it out. Pidge is more worried about the space-time ripple we encountered. But I'm fine. Really.”

Blue’s Paladin stopped in the middle of the empty corridor. “You scared me, cuervo. I saw you get ejected into empty space without Red or any of us nearby. Pidge said she was going after you, but still…it scared me.”

“I don’t think we should hide anymore. I think it’s time to let the team in on our secret.”

The pair had been dating secretly for a month at that point, intentionally keeping their relationship from the rest of the team. Keith didn’t think they would have been taken seriously to begin with, and Lance agreed. After a late-night talk, they both decided to give it time and let themselves settle into their budding relationship. But it was beginning to make them behave differently, especially on missions. They became focused on where the other was and it was causing mistakes. This last mistake could have been deadly, although Keith was right, he hadn’t done or not done anything that led to the deserted Galra base’s small side door opening and pulling the Red Paladin into the cold vacuum of space.

“Yeah, I think you might be right,” Lance admitted.

Keith took his boyfriend’s hand, linking their fingers together, and headed toward the medical deck. Coran met them there, no doubt having been called by Pidge. Keith was thoroughly checked over by way of the Castle’s scanners, and as far as they could tell, not a molecule was out of place. After finding out that Keith was at least partly Galra, Pidge and Hunk had thrown themselves into a reprograming project to the medical deck’s scanners, integrating human biological standards. They were surprised to find that the scanners were already programmed with Galra standards, and that was when Coran told the entire team about the original Paladins, Zarkon included.

Instead of the lounge or one of their bedrooms, Lance and Keith instead went to one of the Castle’s many observation balconies. Once they were alone, Keith let himself crumble, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and holding on as tightly as he could. Lance gently returned the physical connection, understanding that the events of the morning had affected him more than he would let on in front of anyone else. He waited until he could feel the tension drain and knew that Keith was just sneaking middle of the day snuggling.

“You better now?” Lance asked.

Keith sighed softly against Lance’s neck. “Yeah, I think so. We should probably go see what Pidge found before anyone wonders where we went.”

“I don’t wanna,” he protested, holding on tighter.

Keith laughed and pulled away. “Well, if we stop keeping all this a secret, we won’t have to worry about where and when anymore.”

“Ugh. I guess.” Lance’s tone was overdramatic as usual, but his blue eyes sparkled with excitement at the idea of being open about his relationship.

Stepping backward out the door, Keith led the way toward the Lions’ hangars and Pidge’s lab. Halfway down the second to last corridor, Keith tripped over the smooth floor. He caught himself mid-stumble and stopped completely.

“Keith?” Lance asked, “Mi cuervo, you ok?”

_~*~_~*~_~*~_

“Keith! What the fuck was that?” Lance called over the comm.

“Dunno, but my speeder’s sensors caught it. Heading back now,” Keith answered from inside his modified speeder.

Modified, that was, by Pidge, who had retrofitted all of the Lions’ speeders to be able to fly in space. They were still fairly short-range, not capable of straying far from the Lions. It meant that Keith was still in visual range of Red when the Lion’s sensors spiked with the anomaly’s fluctuation.

Lance was waiting at the door to the cockpit when Keith came in. The tail of the raised French braid that normally ran halfway down his back was draped over his shoulder. Lance had insisted on braiding his husband’s hair that morning. Keith had groaned and asked why, seeing as it was just a simple recon mission. “Because you’re pretty, the twins are at school, we have time, and I felt like it,” was the list of reasons Lance rattled off as he made Keith sit. He didn’t mind it, but they usually saved more complex braids for diplomatic missions, not “drive down the street for space readings” missions.

Keith had had his second puberty while in the Quantum Abyss with Krolia, and it ended up being a good thing she was there. Alone, he would have assumed that the abdominal cramping, chills, fever, nausea, and full-body pain meant that he was dying. Krolia, however, recognized the symptoms of the shift in her son’s body to that of a Carrier and becoming physically capable of conceiving and carrying a baby. She told him that his half-human status may well have rendered him infertile, but they didn’t have the resources to look into it at the time, and the middle of a war wasn’t the time to worry about it. So it surprised both Keith and Lance when he found himself pregnant not long after the war ended, and they welcomed their twins Andra and Ori five and a half months later after a normal Galra-length pregnancy. The twins birth records had their names down as Andromeda Artemis and Orion Fenris Kogane-McClain, names that were called with increasing frequency now that the twins were five.

Keith sat himself in the pilot’s seat, pulling up the sensor readings from both Red and the speeder. They looked the same to both himself and Lance, but Pidge would be able to make better sense of them. But something about the anomaly was bothering Keith. It took a good minute of staring at the readings to realize that it was similar to how spacetime behaved near the core of the Quantum Abyss. And something about thatbothered him even more.

“You ok, cuervo?” Lance asked, leaning against the edge of the display panel.

“Yeah,” Keith sighed, “Just something about that anomaly reminds me of the Quantum Abyss. We’ll get it to Pidge and figure it out.”

The trip back to the new Castle was short, Red bypassing the reconfigured IGF-Atlas and heading directly for his hangar on the original Castle of Lions. After the end of the Galra War and the brief, but intense, war with Honerva, the Voltron Coalition needed a permanent – and mobile – base. The Atlas reshaped itself, wrapping around the Castle like the defensive walls of an ancient castle around its keep. Its completed size rivaled that of Galra Central Command, now the seat of the newly-formed Galra Collective.

Team Voltron’s power couple – beating out Shiro’s marriage to Adam – crossed the distance to Green’s hangar, where Pidge still maintained her personal lab. They found her buried in her multi-screen setup, one screen dedicated to the call she was on with her long-distance Olkari girlfriend Malyn, the others covered in technical readouts, diagrams, and blueprints.

“We’re back,” Keith announced when they walked in.

“Oh good. Anything weird happen out there?” Pidge said, taking Keith’s comm.

“The anomaly is behaving like the core of the Quantum Abyss.”

Pidge shoved the device into her computer a little harder than she intended. Except for her ongoing call, she wiped everything off the other screens, replacing what was on them with the readouts from both Red and the speeder. Her amber eyes flicked from screen to screen, already analyzing.

“I’m really sorry, Malyn. I have to call you later.”

“Of course. Is everything all right?” Malyn asked, concern laced in her voice.

“I’m not sure yet. We found a spatial-temporal anomaly, but it’s behaving differently from anything similar I’ve seen. Maybe…there was one…nah, that was different…”

Malyn laughed, she always found her girlfriend’s analytical mind adorable. “I’ll let you get to that. We’ll talk later.”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, Malyn. We’ll talk again later, promise,” Pidge apologized again, but Malyn waved her off, still laughing, and cut the call.

“So, you'll let us know when you’ve found something?” Lance prompted.

“What? Yeah. Right. This is weirder than anything I've ever seen like this…”

Lance and Keith shared a look, knowing that Pidge was fully invested in the data and that she wouldn’t leave her computer unless she was physically removed. Deciding on the tactical retreat, they left her to it, heading back to their apartment on the Castle.

The Atlas hadn’t been the only thing to be reconfigured. The Castle of Lions had undergone its own renovations, the old single rooms turned into apartment-like suites. Shiro and Adam maintained Garrison positions onboard the Atlas, but retired to the Castle at the end of every day. Lance and Keith settled into their apartment after their two month long honeymoon. Hunk was splitting his time between the Castle and Balmera, sharing his space with Shay when they were there. Pidge mostly used hers as an excuse for more tech and a separate workspace, but Malyn stayed there with her when she could get time away from rebuilding Olkarion under Ryner’s guidance. Coran had decided to keep his old room the way it was, and Allura felt that her own rooms didn’t need the upgrade. The rest of the rooms stayed the same for the new Altean crew running the ship at a proper capacity.

It wasn’t until they got back that Keith realized Pidge still had his comm. “Well, shit. I’ll be back,” he said, heading for the door.

Lance decided to follow him out into the corridor.

“Why?”

“Because,” Lance answered, “I have nothing better to do and I can watch you walk away all day.”

“What the fuck, Lance?” Keith groaned in mock frustration.

“No, that’s after we get your comm.”

Keith turned, intending to call Lance out on exposing him like that, but stumbled, relieved that Lance was close enough to catch him.

“You alright, cuervo?”

“Yeah, I'm fine. Just tripped,” he said, but stopped. Something was wrong. He could feel the braid hanging over his shoulder from when he stumbled, felt the strength in Lance’s arms. No, this was wrong. He looked up. There was a small scar he didn’t remember being there, and the blue Altean marks were definitely new. His own body felt foreign. It was shaped differently, taller and broader than it should be. His voice was different, a little deeper, a little huskier than it should be. “Lance?”

“Keith, love, are you really ok?”

“I…I don’t know.”

Lance helped him to stand, leading him back to their apartment. Once inside, he sat Keith on the couch. “What happened? Exactly,” he asked.

“What does – is this about the anomaly? I told you before that I'm fine. We had Coran check me out. There was nothing wrong. Where are we anyway?”

“We didn’t have Coran check you out. There’s an entire medical crew for that anyway. We’re home, on the Castle. What do you remember from this morning?” Lance’s entire tone was cautious. Something was very wrong with his husband, but he wanted to have at least some answers before bringing it up with anyone else.

“We were coming back from a mission and stopped to check out an abandoned Galra base in an asteroid field. One of the side doors opened and I got blown out. There was a ripple in space-time, and I got close to it in nothing but my armor before Red came to get me. But I'm fine. I told both you and Pidge that.”

Lance remembered that mission. Overall, it was unremarkable. The base didn’t have anything useful. But there hadn’t been any temporal fluctuations. Yes, Keith had ended up floating through the void, but nothing happened other than that. The only reason he remembered that mission in particular was because that was when they decided to tell the team that they were together. It had been ten years since that mission.

“Ok. I do remember that. But, that was ten years ago. That was when we decided to tell the team that we’d been dating for a month.”

Keith’s face flickered between shock, bewilderment, and terror. Ten years? There was no way that could be right. But the evidence was right there. His own body and voice were different. He could see and feel how long his hair had gotten. And then there was Lance. He was beautiful as ever, and it certainly seemed that they were still together, but he was different. The scar, the Altean marks – how and when the fuck did that happen, and why? – and there was the fact that he was broader, more muscled, not slender and willowy like he had been. He processed everything in real time, not saying a word in that time. It had apparently been longer than he thought, because Lance was looking up at him from where he’d tilted his head to the side.

“Keith? Mi cuervo? What is going on?”

“You…you still call me that? It really has been ten years?”

“This has to be related to that anomaly,” he muttered. “Yeah, it’s really been ten years. And, yeah, I do still call you that. A lot’s changed in ten years, but not that. Stay here. I need to show you something. It might help.” Lance stood, leaving the room for their bedroom, coming back in less than a minute. He extended his free hand, bringing Keith over to the table where they both sat. Lance placed a ring of smoothly twisted and woven silver metal and carved crystal that shifted between blood red, cobalt, and vibrant violet on the table between them. “Do you remember this?” he asked softly, “Do you remember when I gave you that?”

Keith stared at it like if he could untwist it mentally, he could remember what it was. But he couldn’t, because Lance had never given him anything like it. It was definitely something he could see Lance picking for him, but as far as Keith knew, he never had.

“No, I don’t,” he had to admit.

Lance sighed, a tinge of sadness to it. “Ok. Something happened with the temporal anomaly we found earlier and that Pidge is still analyzing. I know you’re really Keith, but I don’t think you're my Keith. What you said happened this morning happened ten years ago for me. We need to go check in with Pidge and see if she’s figured anything out yet.”

“Ok,” Keith agreed, rising to follow Lance, “I shouldn’t know anything else. Not yet. But at least I know we’re still together.”

“We certainly are,” Lance agreed, taking Keith’s hand, “We’ll figure this out. That anomaly might have fucked with your memories somehow, but we’ll figure it out.”

_~*~_~*~_~*~_

“Yeah, fine.” Keith stood on his own, suddenly realizing that they shouldn’t have been a corridor and a half away from Green’s hangar, they should have been close to their apartment in a completely different part of the castle. Everything seemed ever so slightly bigger, except for himself and Lance. His braid was gone, and he was wearing clothes he hadn’t seen in years. And Lance looked so young. This was the thin, wiry boy he’d fallen in love with more than ten years before. The one without the Altean marks he’d gotten when Allura revived him after saving her from an energy blast. But he heard Lance call him by that familiar pet name. That alone left Keith with more questions.

“We need to see if Pidge’s gotten anywhere with that anomaly,” Lance said.

“Yeah,” Keith agreed. When had his voice gotten higher?

Keith stopped when they walked into Pidge’s lab. It wasn’t what he was expecting. This was the lab of a decade earlier. The one with the laptop she’d brought from Earth along with the equipment she had either repurposed or built from scratch. It startled him, and he froze in place.

“Keith, seriously, are you ok?”

“I…I don’t know anymore. Everything is wrong. Where is everyone else?”

“Hunk and Shiro are heading back from the abandoned base now. That door just malfunctioned after going so long without maintenance. And there was absolutely nothing important there,” Pidge answered, still focused on her computer screen. She realized part of what he said and turned around. “Wait, what do you mean ‘everything is wrong’?”

“You’re looking at a spatial-temporal anomaly, but it didn’t happen now. There shouldn’t have been one here. I…I think I might be from your future. Or, at least, sort of. I don’t look any different to you, do I?”

“No. You don’t. Get back to the part where you think you're from the future.”

“I don’t know how much I should tell you. I don’t know if it could upset the timeline. But I know when I am now.” He turned to Lance. “It’s been about a month now, right? And we had that talk?”

Lance nodded, trying to understand just what his boyfriend was saying about the future. “Yeah, and we did talk about it. Just a few minutes ago. But if you're from the future, I don’t know if talking about that now will help. It also doesn’t answer the question of if you’re Future Keith, what happened to Present Keith?”

“I don’t know. Best case, he switched places with me. He’ll be confused and probably a little scared, but I know he’s in good hands there. Fuck it feels weird talking about myself in the third person. Have you found out anything about the anomaly here?” he asked Pidge.

“Well, I think so, but I've never seen anything like this before.”

Keith came up behind her, looking over their temporal disruption. It was identical to the one he’d found in his time. He had no question now that he had switched bodies with his 18-year-old self. But at least there were a few things he didn’t need to worry about hiding. He knew he was at least partly Galra at this point. He wouldn’t meet Krolia for a little while, so he would have to keep that one to himself. But it also meant that he hadn’t been through the Quantum Abyss yet. There was no way he could tell them about that without explaining everything. He would have to be subtle with asking about the war.

“I have, but I can’t tell you anything specific. Like where, why, or how. And even knowing what it is, I don’t have your science brain, Pidgey. I have no idea how it works.”

Both Pidge and Lance were staring at him. Not because of what he said, but how he said it. He’d picked up a lot of linguistic quirks from Lance over the years, and no longer gave it any thought at all.

“You sound like Lance,” Pidge said finally.

“We’ve all spent a lot of time together over ten years,” Keith replied, avoiding the real question.

“Sure. What canyou tell me about this?”

Keith pulled Hunk’s usual seat over, sitting beside her. Lance perched on an empty spot of desk space, suddenly wanting to be closer to his boyfriend, or whatever he was at that point.

“It’s specific to a single point in space, but not this one. But that’s the problem. I can’t tell you anything about where it is or what it is because you haven’t gotten there yet. All I can say is that space and time work very differently there due to massive fluctuations in gravity, which is why this doesn’t make any sense.”

“Because there’s something there that affects the gravity in a way that it doesn’t where we found it.”

“Basically. It’s more like what affects gravity there doesn’t exist anywhere else, especially where this anomaly was found. It’s also far smaller here than it should be. Like the difference in scorch marks between Lance’s rifle and Hunk’s autocannon.”

“So, this anomaly is a precise shot, and where it should be is a huge mess,” Lance said.

“Pretty much,” Keith agreed, “But I really can’t tell you about it because there’s something vital to the war there and I don’t know how it would change things if you found out about it now. It wouldn’t be good. There are other players you don’t know about yet.”

Pidge continued typing away at her laptop, the 3D render of the anomaly rotating on the screen. Lance wanted to watch the progress, but he couldn’t focus on it. His attention was solely on Keith. Except for his earlier phrasing, he didn’t think Pidge had picked up on just how different he was. Body language, mannerisms, almost everything had changed in some way except for his physical appearance. And there was one thing Lance had noticed almost immediately after Keith started talking about the anomaly. He was pretty sure Keith wasn’t aware of it, but he had been running his left thumb across the ring finger of the same hand, like there was something missing. Lance thought about bringing it up, but decided not to, heavily suspecting Keith would just say that it was something else he couldn’t talk about.

~*~*~*~

Links to the rest of the series:

1 | 2 | 3* | 4 | 5* | 6* | 7 | 8 | 9* | 10 | 11 | 12* | 13 | 14 | 15* | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19*

#my writing #abandoned wips #Klance #vld #voltron #omegaverse #sort of #keith x lance #keith kogane #lance mcclain

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tiramisiyu · 4 years

Text

【未定事件簿】Tears of Themis: Main Story 6-16 Translation

Translation Masterlist | Video

Chapter 6 – Tiger’s Accomplice Ghost (Parts 1, 2): 6-1 / 6-3 / 6-5 / 6-7 / 6-9 / 6-11 / 6-13 / 6-15 ♦️ ♦️ 6-16 / 6-18 / 6-20 / 6-22 / 6-24 / 6-26 / 6-27 / 6-28 / 6-29

NXX Base

On Wednesday morning, Lu Jinghe pushed open the main door to the base’s meeting room.

Lu Jinghe: Hah, I haven’t seen wrong, right? You’re surprisingly here, Mo Yi.

Lu Jinghe lifted his hand and looked at his watch, his meaning self-evident.

Mo Yi: If I said that I have not slept all night, would you also run outside to see where the sun has risen from?

Lu Jinghe: That wouldn’t be necessary. No matter how the sun rises and sets, it all won’t affect me.

Xia Yan: Sure enough, the transmission of data on this wristband has problems.

As if he hadn’t heard Lu Jinghe’s and Mo Yi’s dialogue, only after Xia Yan had finished with the work in his hands did he greet Lu Jinghe.

Xia Yan: You came pretty early.

Xia Yan: Why are you dressed so formally? NXX doesn’t have formalwear work requirements, right.

Lu Jinghe: I’m about to go hold a board meeting at the company – just taking the time to come to the base first to check some materials.

Mo Yi: There are results on the wristband inspection?

Xia Yan: Mhmm. Based on the hardware, the wristband we got from Wang Han doesn’t have any differences from typical health wristbands.

Xia Yan: But looking at the direction of data transmission, it doesn’t only collect in the Heirson examination centre’s cloud health system.

Xia Yan: I’m still tracking the exact recipient address, and I’ve already set up a program to crack it.

Xia Yan: Although it’s hard to estimate how much more time needs to be spent for now.

Xia Yan: If the data flows outside of borders, the time spent on inspection will increase by several times.

Mo Yi: I’ve already done comparative screening through the night on the examination centre’s examination report you gave me yesterday.

Last night, Xia Yan cracked the Heirson examination centre’s encrypted database, getting an examination report that had been partially specifically encrypted.

Mo Yi: From just the chemical experiment indicators, I can preliminarily estimate that the portion of participants with abnormal mental states is very high.

Mo Yi: But there is a very large discrepancy with the severity of their symptoms and their exact illness.

Mo Yi: I did a simple comparison to the cases of abnormal mental states already listed in “X-Note” and was able to find some coinciding people.

Lu Jinghe: So for the next step, you intend to directly contact the people in the cases and investigate their relationship to Heirson?

Mo Yi: That’s right. If we consider Mu Ziyou as a single piece of evidence, we might be able to find more illness cases.

Xia Yan: Lu Jinghe, you… ss…

Xia Yan stood up from in front of the computer, and was about to walk towards Lu Jinghe when he suddenly clutched at his left waist and sucked in a breath.

Lu Jinghe: What happened to you?

Mo Yi: …

Xia Yan: I’m fine, I’m fine. I pulled a muscle from suddenly standing after sitting for a long time.

As he spoke, Xia Yan took out a subdivided medicine container, held up a cup, and ate two pills.

Mo Yi: I saw you eating this medicine last night. What does it treat?

Xia Yan: Medicine? Oh, you’re talking about this?

Xia Yan waved the medicine container.

Xia Yan: This isn’t medicine to treat illnesses. It’s used to wake me up – a Ministry of Security secret formula.

Xia Yan: Agents are also normal people; we’ll also get tired if we haven’t slept all night.

Mo Yi: …

Lu Jinghe: Could you give me two pills? I slept late yesterday, and if I fall asleep at the board meeting later, I’m afraid I’ll get on the news again.

Xia Yan: I can let you eat some, but I can’t let you take the medicine away.

Xia Yan: Who knows if you’ll take it to Pax Pharmaceuticals to analyze the formula and mass produce it? Then I’ll have leaked its secrets.

Lu Jinghe: Aiya, you saw through me. Then I won’t randomly eat those medicines.

Lu Jinghe’s words were said meaningfully, and he also specifically shot a glance at Xia Yan’s medicine container at the end.

Xia Yan: How about you talk about the investigation progress on your side of things.

Lu Jinghe: With Heirson manufacturing illegal medications, Qin Shan wouldn’t be the only person in the know in the entire company.

Lu Jinghe: The backbones of the company, his aides, would probably know.

Lu Jinghe: It’s very hard for Qin Shan to regain consciousness now. I plan to start by checking on the people around him.

Lu Jinghe: And I also have an initial direction regarding exactly how Qin Shan was “poisoned”.

Lu Jinghe took out his phone and displayed a news article on its screen.

Mo Yi: The incident of Heirson staff members jumping from a building?

Lu Jinghe: Correct. A few years ago, news on Heirson factory staff committing suicide due to unbearable work pressure were revealed, one after another, online.

Lu Jinghe: But it seems like it was all heavy thunder with little rainfall. After the news passed its peak, no one ever mentioned it again.

Lu Jinghe: Zuo Ran’s been tracking the Xu Ping case this whole time. Xu Ping was also a Heirson staff member, and he also committed suicide.

Lu Jinghe: Then could there also be something strange about Heirson’s suicide cases from before?

Lu Jinghe: I came to the base because I wanted to check if I could find a list of names on related staff members.

Xia Yan: Speaking of which, we don’t know how the investigation on Zuo Ran’s side is going.

Just as the sound of Xia Yan’s voice fell, the three people took their phones with unplanned, identical timing and opened the chat screen…

City Police Station

Today morning, I came with Zuo Ran to the city police station. Yan Wei was still dealing with official business, so he had us wait a bit for him in the office.

MC: I looked through the briefing that Leader Yan sent on my way here.

MC: Xunye’s boss, Zhang Zhian, collaborated with others to rob armored vehicles in non-local areas 15 years ago.

MC: It was also 15 years ago that he fled to Stellis City. After that, the name “Zhang Zhian” disappeared, and it was replaced with “Qing Zhian”.

MC: The person who created a fake identity was called Gu Wei.

Zuo Ran: This Gu Wei is the deceased husband of Chen Hanzhang, and the founder of Wiley Financial.

MC: Deceased husband?

I had never paid attention to Chen Hanzhang’s marriage status, so it was somewhat surprising when being brought up now. I was just about to ask Zuo Ran when my phone suddenly vibrated several times in succession.

MC: What’s the matter…

I turned on my phone and took a look – Xia Yan, Mo Yi, and Lu Jinghe had sent messages to me individually.

Zuo Ran: What is it, have you encountered an issue?

MC: No, it’s just that the three of them all sent messages, asking me how the investigation process was going.

Zuo Ran: …

MC: Weird, they could’ve just directly asked in the group chat, so why’d they send messages individually.

I held up my phone and directly responded to the three of them in the NXX group chat.

[MC]: Morning everyone.

[Xia Yan]: Morning, have you eaten breakfast?

[Mo Yi]: Good morning. Are you already working?

[Lu Jinghe]: Morning, jiejie, where are you right now?

>I ate breakfast >I’m already working >I’m at the police station

[MC]: Of course I’ve eaten breakfast – Lawyer Zuo specially made it for me.

[Xia Yan]: So it looks like you ate breakfast on the way? That’s not too good.

[Mo Yi]: Mhmm, I agree about that.

[Lu Jinghe]: If you said earlier that you would be eating on the way, I could’ve had the chef at my place make some and sent it over to you.

[Zuo Ran]: The next time you want to know about the investigation progress, then directly ask in the group chat, so communication will be more efficient.

>I ate breakfast >I’m already working >I’m at the police station

[MC]: Mhmm! I’ve already started work. Lawyer Zuo and I came to meet an important witness.

[Mo Yi]: Witness? Looks like Xu Ping’s package isn’t that easy to get.

[Xia Yan]: Do side issues keep coming up?

[Lu Jinghe]: Can you confirm that package is in Xu Ping’s hands? Don’t get deceived.

[Zuo Ran]: The next time you want to know about the investigation progress, then directly ask in the group chat, so communication will be more efficient.

>I ate breakfast >I’m already working >I’m at the police station

[MC]: I’m with Lawyer Zuo at the city station – there’s an important witness we need to meet.

[Lu Jinghe]: Going to the police station this early? You’re working way too hard.

[Xia Yan]: Is your work schedule really reasonable? You got back that late yesterday, and you’re running around so early today.

[Mo Yi]: If you stayed at the base to organize data, you might have been able to relax more.

[Zuo Ran]: The next time you want to know about the investigation progress, then directly ask in the group chat, so communication will be more efficient.

>Case progress

[MC]: Since you were all asking about the case progress, I’ll just tell you all together rather than responding to you all one by one.

[MC]: Xu Ping’s package really is with that person called Zhao Fei, but he refuses to directly give it to us.

[MC]: We’re investigating a case related to illegal drugs. After we figure it out, we should be able to get the package.

[Zuo Ran]: There is an account record of Heirson raw materials in the package – it’s very important evidence.

>Ask about everyone’s progress

[MC]: Has everyone’s investigations been smooth?

[Xia Yan]: Of course it’s been smooth. I’ll tell you about the battle results after you return!

[Mo Yi]: It has been very productive, but the upcoming investigation will require your assistance.

[Lu Jinghe]: I’ve noticed something new. I’ll update you on the info after you’re done working.

>Leader Yan has come >NXX is lacking in manpower

[MC]: Ah, Leader Yan is here, let’s chat later.

[MC]: Lawyer Zuo and I will head off first to meet the witness.

[Mo Yi]: I hope it goes smoothly.

[Xia Yan]: You absolutely must not work too hard – pay attention to your health.

[Lu Jinghe]: Jiejie, remember to give me a call if you need me to help anywhere.

[Zuo Ran]: We’ll head off first. Leave a message if you all have something to say.

>Leader Yan has come >NXX is lacking in manpower

[MC]: Everyone’s work is quite saturated. I seriously think we need new people.

[Mo Yi]: It’s not just anyone who has the qualifications to join NXX. I’d rather we lack than have shoddy options.

[Xia Yan]: I think it’s fine. We can absolutely deal with the work amount we have now.

[Lu Jinghe]: As long as we schedule it reasonably, the people we have now is sufficient. Jiejie, don’t worry.

[Zuo Ran]: Leader Yan is here, so we’re going to go meet the witness. Leave a message if you all have something to say.

MC: Morning, Leader Yan.

Yan Wei: You two have arrived – you’ve worked hard.

Yan Wei, who had arrived at the office, had an expression full of weariness – he’d probably been dealing with cases the whole night at the police station without resting.

Zuo Ran: You just finished a surprise interrogation?

Yan Wei: We’d finished interrogating the person a long while ago, but while suspects can sleep, the police cannot.

Yan Wei: Time’s tight. I’ll tell you both about Qing Zhian’s situation first.

Yan Wei: Beyond our expectations, he was cooperative. Too bad that he doesn’t know much – he’s likely just a peripheral person in Chen Hanzhang’s gang.

Yan Wei: Plus… Zuo Ran, have you heard of the “Tiger’s Accomplice Ghost”?

#tears of themis #tears of themis translations #未定事件簿 #weiding shijian bu #lu jinghe #mo yi #xia yan #zuo ran #tot translation #the rest of the parts might take longer because i'm pretty busy for the next while #but the story is really good #i can't believe they're already showing XY's illness in main plot #my poor boy #as soon as i read that i had to translate it asap #MY and LJH are def suspecting something is up

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lokilickedme · 3 years

Text

Submitted by @fudgemuffinanon

Ok I think I’m up to date….

1. HOLY SHIT WOMAN! You had Covid and just learned about it? How did you find out? Was it with a test? And you handled the asshat at the grocery store way better than I would have. I’m not patient, nor diplomatic, and I have major RBF syndrome… The temper goes with the face more ofter than I care to admit…

2. Your grandmother’s story was incredible. I know you don’t need another project but this could be a beautiful book. No fandom incorporated, just her story.

3. As @mollage said, the Universe is after you! But you may be one of the strongest woman I know, going through all your adventures with that attitude. Thank you Elizabeth for passing down your fiery spirit!

4. With everything that happened to you in the last few weeks, I can’t expect you to write anything. I’ll just wait and take what you give us. Fuck, I just have to deal with Baby Girl’s online school - Big Boy is responsible enough to deal with his class mostly alone - and I have to tell her to go back to the computer every 5 minutes and I’m going NUTS! And we have one more month to go…

Ontario has been in stay-at-home order since April 8th, and non-essential stores MAY reopen mid-June at 15% capacity and outdoor activities in small groups MAY resume IF we have 60% of population vaccinated with their first dose. We’re about 58% now according to Health Minister but they stopped giving Aztra as first dose, so all the pharmacies that could give it now can’t. There’s a lot less Pfizer and Moderna doses available so I don’t know how fast it will happen. But it means I will most likely get my second dose quicker than August. Yay me! Second phase won’t happen until we get 70% 1st dose vaccination. So we’re stuck for a while. We’re going out in the woods for walks once in a while so we don’t get too close to people but I want to go to a fabric store sooooo bad!! I’m done picking ticks off hubby everytime we get out. And I’m running out of crafts to learn on youtube.

Ok, enough ranting… gotta go finish knitting Baby girl’s bday gift. A 6" turtle. With clothes. And a shawl. And boots. Yeah… Love ya!

*******************************************************

Fudgey!!

Yup. All four of us had covid back in November of 2019, before it broke wide and before anyone really knew it was in the US. Husband was able to track it back to a coworker who’d returned from a family visit to China (he works with a large community of Asian Americans who travel back and forth a lot). The coworker came home sick, and shortly after that our household got the worst “flu” any of us have ever had (that was what we thought it was, a weirdly violent flu that hit each of us differently). I’ve never been sicker in my life, my husband thought I was going to die and he claims I told him to just let me go if it looked like I wasn’t going to make it. I’m pretty sure I meant it…it was that bad. I may have actually requested an assist to the other side at one point.

So anyway, a little while later it broke wide and when the symptom lists started coming out we started wondering if that wasn’t what we’d had. Husband finally a few weeks ago went and talked to the guy that had come back sick from overseas and the guy said “Oh yeah, I had the covid, did you get it too?”

By that time there had been approximately 150 known cases at husband’s workplace and six confirmed deaths from it. Grrrr.

At this point it was too late for us to get confirmed, but husband contacted a friend in Colorado who is a covid specialty ER nurse and described our symptoms and the timeframe of our illness to her. She said we absolutely had it - she’d had it too during that same timeframe, before it broke wide and before anyone knew what it was.

So now all my lingering weird-ass symptoms make sense. Big and Little are fine, they don’t seem to have any long-term problems, though I’m keeping an eye on them (especially Big). Husband is fine as well. Me? I took it in the seat of the pants, but like I was telling someone the other day, as soon as one of the longhaul clinics sets up here I’m gonna be there.

The putz in the grocery store was nothing unusual for here. What really gets me is the way people glare at us for continuing to wear masks - it’s almost scary. WTF is wrong with people.

Glad you liked my grandma’s story. Honestly I don’t know enough to write a book about her without having to speculate on a lot of in-between stuff because she was a very secretive person (probably for a good reason tbh) but what a tale it would be. She was a mess :D My mother has always been mad at me for taking after her - she never liked my grandmother much, there was some bad blood between them from decades back, and yeah that’s kind of a good story too lol

Ah, speaking of writing, I’m going to toss out a short chap of that silly self indulgent side-thing for The Department tonight (probably as soon as I send this reply off) and then I’m shooting for a chapter of the actual fic tomorrow at some point. Taking advantage of the husbandary absence (yes I know that’s not a word but it works)

I feel ya on the homeschooling - the boys finished their semester two weeks ago and the stress of that final week for Big (9th grade) was insane.

I wish we were under a stay-at-home order, but where I live hardly anyone obeyed it when we WERE. I love living here but I swear sometimes the people make me want to move off-planet just to find a higher intelligence demographic.

Anyway, I gotta see this turtle when you’re finished with it. You mentioned it so now you gotta show it. I’m going to bug you every day until you provide pictures because even though I can crochet a blanket like nobody’s business I cannot crochet a doll to save my own ass. Gonna have to rely on you for that ;P

@fudgemuffinanon

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sunflowerryvol6 · 4 years

Text

New Beginnings - hs (reader insert)

warnings: angst, fluff

WC. 2K

You always did great under pressure, it was almost like that sort of environment drove you to do better, not that you agreed with this toxic work style, but it was something that came naturally to you. You always engaged in multiple things at once, to help keep your mind occupied, so that's what you were doing right now. Emails needed replies. PowerPoint decks to be checked and revised for upcoming meetings for the week, all while you were perusing through some new podcasts sent to you by a friend. You were good under pressure, you were quick on your feet to find a solution for the problems laid out in front of you, or that's what you thought..

The thing is, years of you filling your time to its maximum capacity, it may have slipped up that it was running you down physically and mentally. Your mind was always running, and so were you. But it wasn't like you weren't addressing the issue, after all, you did have your stress buddy/boyfriend, he kept you in check, reminded you to drink water, take a break when necessary, sometimes helped take some load off your shoulders when work got too taxing. It was just a bonus that you both worked in the same field. You both worked for different companies, respectively heading teams.

You often worked from home, and Harry prefered working from his office, so you had claimed your home office and spent quite a bit of time locked away in there. It was no surprise that you had lost track of time and forgotten to order in food for when he came back home. You checked your phone for any texts, and there it was.

will be late, lovie.

don't forget to eat something xo

Sighing, you locked your phone and went back to working and finishing some extra tasks on your weekly to-do list. A lot was running on your mind, so you made a mental note to check in with Harry tonight.

It was about 11 pm when you looked away from your PC having finished most of your work. You were still quite wired, so you decided to head out of your home office to try and do some light cleaning before Harry came back home. You were in the middle of emptying your mail drawer when you saw this blue envelope peeking out. It was the colour of your office stationery, so naturally, you opened it. What was odd about it though, was that it was for Harry. You didn't want to pry, but you were curious. So damn the consequences, you started reading it.

It was an offer letter for Harry to take on a department head position at your company, a title you had been working really hard to achieve. You couldn't believe what you were reading, your eyes blurry from tears pooling in them. You stopped reading and looked around for your phone, and you needed to speak with him and find out what was going on. Surely he knew, you both had discussed it at length, that if you needed your relationship to work, you needed to work at different organisations and that was that. It wasn't up for debate. Just as you were about to dial his number, the front door opened.

Harry walked in on you with tears in your eyes and the opened blue envelope in your hand. "Y/N, I can explain. Let's sit down please." He looked like he was desperate to reach out and touch you; he stayed away, though. You quietly moved on to stand on the side of your kitchen counter. He moved just as slowly and sat his bag down next to the barstools and took a seat on one.

"Okay, so you know how I've been feeling kind of done with the work that was coming in at my firm? Well, I thought that I could really use a change of pace. I hadn't acted on it though. I wanted to speak with you about it, obviously."

You were getting impatient "H, get to the point. Why is there an offer letter addressed to you, to be my boss in our mail?!" You had been thinking about speaking to management about a promotion; if that didn't work out, you had some other ideas, but this was definitely not how you wanted things to go.

Harry winced at your tone but continued, "Couple of weeks ago when I was out with Mitch and the gang, I ran into your boss Christy, and we talked, well I thought we were only talking, but it turned out to be an impromptu interview for the position they offered. Christy called me last week to discuss the details, but I wasn't sure so I asked her to send the terms to me on email, which I thought she would. I didn't know she was going to mail a hardcopy home, baby. Please Y/N you have to understand that I was going to decline the offer, but I just wanted to test the waters for a job change."

By the end of that explanation, you were fuming, at how blatantly your boss had sidelined you. Not only that, she approached your boyfriend of all the people. You were mad at Harry for having persued the lead and having kept it from you. There were about ten other companies he could have gone to if he wanted a change of pace like he claimed. You were so mad that all you worked for had come down to nothing. Now it was creeping into your personal life too; your breathing was becoming ragged, you were trying to make sense of all the information thrown at your way.

"So what are you going to do now, H? You had to have taken a peek at the offer, and it certainly is a good jump from your previous position."

"Baby. which is why I wanted to talk to you about it, I do want to consider it, at least give it a thought, but not at the cost of a row between us. You have to know that, Y/N." he said. He was looking at you worriedly because he didn't want to cause a fight between you both.

You were on the verge of a panic attack; you could feel it bubbling in your chest, that coupled with how you hadn't eaten since lunch wasn't the best combination.

You placed the envelope on the counter with trembling hands and gripped the counter hard to calm yourself a little bit. You were getting lightheaded with all this clouding your mind, but you didn't let it show.

He tried to place his palm on the back of yours, to help you. He was mentally talking down all the steps of a panic attack because he knew you all too well and had been there to witness quite a few of your work-induced episodes. But you flinched away, as though he touch burnt you. You took a step back and stumbled a bit. "Love, are you okay? Please talk to me." He reached out again. This time, you looked up, with tears in your eyes, your struggle in trying to breathe becoming more apparent. He knew this was bad.

You took a shaky step to walk out of the kitchen and sit your self down on the couch, but you were feeling too hot, his gaze was following you. He was cautiously hovering, just close enough to hold you up if you needed it. He knew not to overstep, and anything could set you off. But he was wrong this time, and you really couldn't hold yourself up, what with the panic attack. You thought you were sinking to break your fall, but it was too late, you'd started seeing black spots, and there was no way you'd sit before you could lean on something.

He noticed that and jumped to catch you by your armpits, rest your head against his chest as he sank against the wall. He knew you would often feel lightheaded during a panic attack, but in all this time you'd never outright passed out. "Baby? Wake up please!"

He was trying not to panic, he laid you down carefully on the carpet and started rubbing your palms, it didn't work. So he rubbed the balls of your feet, and when that didn't do it, he rushed to the kitchen and brought out a glass of water. He dipped his fingers in the glass and gently splashed your face with some water. You didn't come to it immediately. But slowly he saw your eyes flutter open. He gently lifted your head, so it was laying on his lap. He ran his hand over your forehead to move some stray hair.

"Y/N, are you okay?" he whispered, not wanting to startle you. You groaned "What happened? One second I was feeling too hot and now..."

"You passed out, when was the last time you ate, bunny?" He only called you that when you were sick. You remembered the fight almost immediately, and how mad you were before you passed out, you tried to sit up straight, to get away from him, but didn't make it too far. You were still very dizzy; he was still holding you, so you sat up with your knees supporting your head. He was looking at you with worry in his eyes; he ran his palm on your back to soothe you.

"Bunny, I'm really sorry, please let me bring you something to eat." You shook your head " I'm not hungry. H. Please leave me alone." Your voice cracked a little. You could feel yourself tearing up again.

"Oh, Bunny! you can be mad at me all you want, but we have to get something in that tummy."

"We will get back to this fight right after you have eaten something." You didn't move from your hunched over position. He helped you up and walked you to the couch, and you quietly laid down with your arm across your eyes. He sat on the floor, eye-level with you, turned around and got your bottle of water to offer it to you, "Here, why don't you take a sip? It'll help you regain some strength." You shakily took the bottle from his hand and took a sip.

He left you there to rest while he went to the kitchen to get you something to eat, decided on some toast because he knew you were prone to acid reflux if you went too long without eating. He occasionally called out to you checking if you were okay. Harry made the toast, brought it to you and sat down on the couch next to your feet.

"Bunny, come on."

"I'm very nauseous, Harry. I won't be able to keep it down." Nausea was a common symptom when you went long periods without eating. You did everything to avoid it by munching on small snacks, but you simply forgot on busy days like today. He took your other hand in his and started massaging it slowly, and he knew how much you liked that on a sick day.

"A few bites and then you'll feel better, I promise" He was desperate to get you to eat, if you didn't you'd be up all night throwing up.

You reluctantly sat up, he kept with the massage, and you picked up the toast and bit into it. It wasn't so bad. You both were quiet. You sat that there finished the toast and drank some water to wash it down.

"I'm leaving." You whisper broke the silence.

He looked at you bewildered "What?! Love, there has to be something I can do! Let me fix this."

"I'm not leaving -" Before you could finish the sentence, you knew what was coming, you rushed to the guest bathroom and puked your guts out. He ran behind you, found you hunched over heaving into the bowl, he reached over and held your hair back, whispering "Oh baby, let it out, it's okay."

"I'm right here."

You slowly raised your head and wiped your mouth, and leaned your head on the seat. He quickly flushed the toilet and pulled you back so that you could rest your head on his chest. He ran his fingers through your hair, tugging it very gently because you liked that. The simple act reminded you of how soft he was when you were sick.

"I'll get my stuff out when you're better; you don't have to go anywhere. But I'm not leaving you when you're so sick, Bun"

You ignored what he said and replied "I'm not leaving you, you idiot"

Puzzled, he looked at you "Then? what did you mean-

"I'm leaving that godforsaken job! You can take it if you want, but I'm not stepping foot in that place again."

"Don't be so quick, Y/N, take some time to think about it, and no. I'm not taking the job."

"I have thought about it, Harry. I was up for that promotion, and if they weren't going to give it to me, I don't see the point in busting my ass for that company anymore."

"Now why don't you help me and open the drawer for me."

He hesitantly reaches in and opens the drawer, to find a used pregnancy test.

He looks at you, shock is written all over his face. "Are we....."

"Yes, baby." You say all teary-eyed, but this time it's happy tears.

You were stressed out at work. All because of impending appraisals for a while, so a missed period had utterly slipped your mind. You had a taken the test earlier in the day and were excitedly scrolling through Pinterest to look for a cute way to tell Harry. In all the excitement you had forgotten to eat all day, and then the job thing happened. It just solidified your need to quit your job and look into some freelance opportunities. Sure, the way you found out wasn't ideal, but it was the only answer.

"Baby? We're having a baby?" that seemed to break you out from your trance.

He bent down to lift you "I could kiss you right now."

You grimaced "I'd rather you not, H."

That night you both sorted out the details for your resignation and new job opportunities for him, after that you both had a good ol' cuddle session and fell asleep in each other's arms.

#harry styles #hs #angst #bfharry #soft harry #fluf #harry fluff #harry one shot #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry fanfic

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catharrington · 4 years

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26 and 40 for sleepy prompts??

Thank you so so much for the prompt~~ I am in love with this list!! Always accepting more ;)

Sleepy prompts: 26/“I know it’s embarrassing I still sleep with a Night light” && 40/“It’s just a nightmare, it’s nothing real.”

***

Steve was warned about Billy Hargrove from the second he got the college’s Email listing his new roommate. Whispers about how he’s a jerk, walks around with no shirt on, maybe no pants, leaves beer cans crushed around his room. The type to hang a sock on the door knob to let you know he’s busy.

Steve braced himself as he packed up and moved into his senior dorms. The boxes of his sparse belongings and heavy books itching on the palms of his hands.

Billy Hargrove ticked off a box as soon as he opened the door. He was laid out on his already claimed bed, kicking his legs so his cotton exercise shorts rode up his thick thighs; and he was shirtless. Steve’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline as he took in curling muscles tanned glittering copper. Still sticky, still sweating with it. Like he just got back from riding his golden chariot laps around the sun.

Steve moves his eyes to his small desk at the foot of the one unclaimed bed. Sets his box down hard like he stumbled, when really it was more to try and wake himself up.

“Hey,” he turned around all practiced plastic ease, running a hand through his messy hair he knows he’s let grow out way too long. It’s curling over the bottoms of his ears. Billy’s eyes flick down to follow the movement. “I’m Steve Harrington,” he introduces himself.

Billy leans back more on the bed. His abs flexing. He licks his lips, replies, “Billy Hargrove,” like he’s doing Steve a favor.

Steve takes his hand back that was outstretched, that’s just fine with him not getting burnt. He glances around the small room a few times just to take it in.

Their beds are parallel to each other running along either wall, at the foot of each bed is a desk and matching bookshelf, and separating them like a line in the sand is a floor length window that looks out to the campus. Billy’s got a couple band posters up, one of just some guys crotch in leather pants, the other a sunny yellow Cerberus foaming at the mouth. And a hot to the touch lava lamp sitting alone on top his bookcase.

Steve doesn’t have more than him, maybe he’s got a little less. Where Billy has his posters Steve leaves his wall blank, but where Billy’s bookcase is comfortably filled with reading material, Steve’s wood threatens to give out under the weight of his medical textbooks. Stacks and stacks of hard bound bricks take the space quickly, some on one side of his desk crowding his laptop and some even making a pile on the floor under his bed.

“Nursing?” Billy asks the second day they are existing in the same space.

Steve’s the one lounging out on his bed, highlighter behind his ear and hair pinned back with a thick clip so it doesn’t bother his studying. Hasn’t gotten it cut quite yet, doesn’t know if he ever will while Billy keeps taking long glances at it.

Billy’s talking to him over a Mark Twain novel as if Steve’s more interesting. “Yeah,” Steve shrugs, feels a blush rising at the attention, “want to do something important. Figured it would help people.”

“Must be pretty smart for that?” Billy’s eyes are a pretty shade of blue. Like the sky.

“I mean- I guess I am? but nah, more like,” Steve’s stuttering, “It’s really just lots of memorization. Remembering terms and locations- that I’m good at. When it comes to getting creative I fall flat on my face,” he laughs.

Billy laughs with him, simmering into something warm and sunny. They go back to their books and it’s not until next week Steve picks up that Billy’s a Language Arts major in creative writing. He feels like he’s shoved his foot in his mouth maybe a tad, but doesn’t want to ask.

He’s laying awake in bed thinking about it, letting his eyes wander over the spines of all of Billy’s bookcase in the low light and wondering what he writes. He’s never seen him write. When he hears him for the first time.

It’s just a low groan, a pained noise starting in his chest and dripping from an open faucet slowly through his gritted teeth. Sounds like he’s hurt, sounds like he’s scared. The lava lamp is molten next to his bed casting him in a glow of fire that burns his copper skin until it melts fat drips of sweat across his forehead to his pillow case. The noise gets louder, Steve lifts himself to one elbow, waits for a second as it gets louder still, then right as Steve’s gripping his blanket... Billy stops.

He exhales, twisting in his bed to kick his flat sheet into a pool around his hips. Steve doesn’t know it but he exhales too. Lays back down and grips his blanket to his chest as he watches Billy’s naked chest rise. The sweat dry on his skin.

Steve doesn’t know when he passed out but when he wakes up he’s alone in the room, and the lava lamp is turned off.

He found it annoying once, just once, to have the whole room washed in tones of red every night. Reminded him a little of his pool back home in Hawkins and how the blue light clung to his bedroom window like fungus. How he used curtains and blankets to drown himself in pitch black. But that never helped, and this red light seemed to be something Billy takes comfort in.

At the very least, comfort in a scheduled way. An hour before he sleeps he sips at a beer chilled in their shared mini fridge, Steve using his shelf for protein bars and Billy using it for a six pack that never runs out, leaning over his desk while his rippling back muscles block Steve from seeing what he’s doing. What he’s writing, Steve imagines again, his fingers lightly playing over his laptop as he listened intently to pen against paper even louder than his keys clacking.

But louder still, louder than the crushing of beer cans or the rush of blood in Steve’s head as he watches Billy from the corner of his eyes strip to his boxers to go to sleep, is the volume of Billy’s groans keeping him awake at night.

They are sporadic and every couple days, some dismissable, but some worse. Steve struggled with ignoring them when he knows he can’t. Knows his eyes are fixed on the way Billy’s strong rib cage flutters under his skin as he gulps for air. Watching mute as Billy’s stocky fingers rolls his sheet up to cover his neck, just to bring it back down.

The red light is on. The lava is moving shapes around the room. Shadows that are crawling mad like a pack of wild dogs to get to Billy. He groans and growls and fights back before he exhales. Always the same. Steve exhales himself now, counts the seconds until Billy’s rib cage jumps return to normal. Wonders briefly, if he should be using his nursing schooling for this.

He’s forced to, quicker than he wanted to, still scared to get burnt by that copper skin. But it’s two months they’ve been living together. Two months of nightmares and red lights. Never sleeping and drinking too much coffee. Two months of Steve laying awake cataloging, highlighting, memorizing, the way Billy’s hips turn inwards sometimes when he dreams in the exact motion of getting kicked in the ribs.

It’s on this day, this red lit night, that Billy doesn’t groan. His snarls soften to whimpers before they even start. Billy doesn’t wiggle as if he’s fighting back, he simply reaches out one hand, towards the middle of the room. Into the streaks of light the cheep curtains over the window lets in. His fingers curl in a begging way, reaching out.

Steve closes his eyes, tries to ignore when he knows he can’t. Listens for the symptoms of it slowing down and stopping but they never come. He opens his eyes only to notice Billy’s crying. Fat drops of tears look molten lava down his pretty face. Turning his golden freckles to tar with their tracks. Billy’s hand stays out, grasping, fingers clawing.

Steve lifts himself up on one elbow. Moves his blankets off his body with one arm. Sinks down to the ground in his soft flannel pajamas and worn high school basketball tshirt and kneels by the edge of Billy’s bed. Steve gathers Billy’s begging hand up in his own, intertwining their fingers together and clutching flushed hot skin to his chest.

It takes a moment for Billy to wake up. Steve slouches against Billy’s bed, using their joined hands to hold his chest up while his other hand moves to ginger colored curls. He tucks one behind Billy’s ear. Let’s his fingers graze over the metallic skin flushed and burning blood red, let’s it light his skin on fire. Steve runs his hand from Billy’s chin to his chest, tracing the hammered sword edge of his collar bones as they vibrate with the noise of his whimpers.

Steve presses the length of his fingers to Billy’s skin until he doesn’t vibrate. Until his breath is evening out. Steve’s doing his job, helping, trying not to get burnt. He watches with a medical detachment until blue eyes flutter open. Then Steve’s breath is hitching.

“Steve,” Billy mutters, his voice raw. His blue eyes glance around them for a moment, taking in the way Steve’s got his hand and whole arm possessively tucked under his body weight and the way his feather light fingers haven’t lifted from his skin. Still pressing his collar bones just with the fat of his fingers, as if he’s steadying himself to press down ivory piano keys.

“Steve?” Billy repeats his name in a question. Then he lifts one hand to drag across his face in embarrassment, and when he moves the rainfall of sweat collected there he seems to get it.

“I’ve been noticing these are happening frequently, but this is the severest they’ve gotten yet.” Steve explains in a calm voice he thinks his emergency response professor could be proud of.

“You’ve been noticing shit bout me, pretty boy?” Billy coos back.

Steve’s tone of voice crumbles. “You’re very loud, y’know?” and it’s more like a squeak.

“Sorry,” Billy lets the word roll loud and heavy from his chest. He turns like he wants to pull away. Wants to hide and pretend it’s normal, most likely. Steve doesn’t think he’s done holding Billy’s arm.

“Don’t have to be sorry about nightmares. Everyone gets them.” Steve traces collar bone to shoulder, runs over the swollen curves of his biceps to his glowing red arm wrapped in his own. Cuddles up to Billy’s arm like his pillow left forgotten on his bed. He folds himself over more in a way he should be called crazy for, doesn’t seem to have the energy to care. He hasn’t been sleeping much. Hasn’t been sleeping at all.

“It’s just a nightmare,“ Steve continues. His chin bumping into tanned skin with every word, “it’s nothing real.”

“It was real once,” Billy whispers out. Blurts the words quick. His swollen red eyes move to watch Steve’s reaction. His emergency response professor would be proud in the way Steve only gave a gentle smile in reply. Prompting for more with a nod.

Billy reads him, line for line, before he continues on. “My old man used to get drunk, take a whiskey bottle by the neck and just swig until he felt like a different man. He used to stumble into my room and remind me I ain’t shit. I wasn’t wanted. I was forgotten and I’ll always be forgotten,” Billy’s talking like he’s not paying attention to his words. He closes his eyes and turns as he speaks, rolls this time towards Steve. Bubbles him in with hot skin and melted tears and intertwined fingers finally tightening their grip.

“Sounds like you’re a survivor, Billy. You’ve lived and grown. It’s okay to be afraid, it’s okay to remember, but in this dorm he isn’t real.” Steve notices the way Billy’s crying again. He hopes it’s not because of him. “You are safe now. Here, you are safe. No one is coming in that door.”

And Steve really hasn’t had much course on therapy for trauma survivors, other than the symptoms of shock. He can set a broken bone and stitch a cut, give CPR, but for this he stops blowing dust off his piles of text books. He doesn’t care what his professors think, he’s biting his lip as he worries unprofessionally about Billy understanding how safe he is. How much Steve won’t let that happen again. How much he wants those blue eyes to open up, washed garnet gemstones in the lamps light and sparkling just as brilliant with his crying.

How Steve wants only to pet across that skin until the motion settles him and the shadows of lights from the boiling lava stop appearing as wild dogs.

Turn into clouds shifting though a sunset sky. Turn into safety.

Billy opens his eyes. They find Steve’s easy in the dim light. “I know it’s embarrassing I still sleep with a night light,” he says playfully.

Steve laughs back. Turning his eyes down before looking back up. Catching those eyes anew always seems to take his breath away. He must be burnt a special shade of crimson under this light. “It’s not embarrassing. Lava lamps are hip, very retro cool,” Steve teases.

Billy rolls his eyes, but he’s tugging on Steve’s arm and motioning with a tilt of his impossibly sharp jaw bone towards the bed. “Wanna get up off the floor? Pretty boy like you shouldn’t have such dark circles. People are gonna think I’m,” he trails off, lets his eyes scan over Steve’s faded tshirt once before flicking back to his in a way that made Steve’s eyelashes flutter.

“I’m abusing you or something in here,” Billy finishes.

Steve smiles, not a smile to produce comfort or reassurance; but just smiles because he’s happy. He lifts himself from the floor enough to scoot into Billy’s narrow twin size bed with him. Billy doesn’t move his arm Steve has basically claimed. Steve doesn’t get his pillow from his own bed, so he keeps a hold of the well crafted bicep to use as a pillow.

This close Billy smells sweaty, there’s beer on his breath, but there’s also something earthy. Pressed paper that holds the smell of ink, and leather, and trees.

Steve runs one hand up Billy’s chest and gets his hand back on his collar bone, while Billy reaches out a hand slower and almost hesitantly until he’s pushing Steve’s messy hair off his forehead. Billy gathers up silky locks in his large well worn hand before tucking them behind Steve’s ear. His thick fingers follow the way it curls under his ear. Billy follows the way Steve’s soft skin gets softer behind his ear and around to the back of his neck.

There he lets his hand rest, cupping Steve’s long neck as if it was the most natural thing to do.

While Steve kept his hand right next to Billy’s pulse. Examining for a flutter as they slept that thankfully never came.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove fic #my fic #harringrove fanfic #steve/billy #prompt fill

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youngbugandtonystank · 5 years

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I think Peter has a great development in FFH, and one that people sadly go through in the real world: struggling with grief but realizing life goes on. You suggested you analyze Peter’s grief in FFH and I would love that, emotional as it is, it’s inspiring for people going through the same thing. Please do it! Thanks

Hi!

I was going to do the Happy one first but I’ve been wanting to do this one for a while, so I’m going to start with this analysis. Hope you guys don’t mind. Also, I’m sure they were more asks about the FFH one and I’m sorry if I didn’t include yours in the list but my inbox is a mess right now, so I apologize.

As an expert-master of grief that I am lol I think I really can read Peter pretty well in this movie, one of the reasons I was avoiding this analysis was because it’s too painful for me hahaha, it hits close to home.

Now, let’s track this down. Peter is just a kid but this kid has been through so much, it’s painful. Peter lost his parents and was sent to live with his aunt and uncle, then he, unfortunately, had to see his father figure; Ben Parker, die in front of him and the result of that gave him a sense of responsibility for the rest of his life:

‘When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.‘

He's always walking around with a ton of traumatic and painful memories.

Let’s be honest, he believes he ‘killed’ his own uncle, that it was because of him that Ben is dead. It happened because of him from his perspective. So it’s natural for this boy to pass through a long process of grief but here’s the catch, Peter never does. Peter always avoids tragedy until it piles up to the point of unbearable. Peter bears with his responsibility and holds himself accountable for things that are not even his fault but this kid is not capable of processing grief the way it’s supposed to be. I think he wasn’t completely healed of his grief from Ben’s death when he met Tony but as the time passed and he saw another opportunity of having that amazing experience of having another male parental figure, he relented. And now I bet he regrets it.

I kinda wish FFH went into more detail with this so certain fans would understand why having Tony was a good thing for Peter. As he got to know Tony, he started to let him in. He saw him as a father figure and relied on him just like any other teenager would with their parents. Peter was starting to process of healing with Tony. One of the things I love the most about their relationship is that they helped each other grow. Tony learned and experienced something new when he met Peter and Peter started to let another figure into his life.

Many of you don’t like this but this kid did want Tony’s approval. He confirmed this himself:

In all the weirdness and outside-of-himselfness that went along with becoming Spider-Man, that one conversation with Mr. Stark had made Peter feel . . . okay. Normal, even. Something he never thought he'd feel again. Peter knew he should feel all these things without needing Mr. Stark's approval. That your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man didn't need the approval of multibillionaire, Super Hero philanthropists to help out the people on his block. But, right now? Peter wanted Mr. Stark to approve of him more than anything.

And this translates into the movie so well, Tony made Peter feel normal, made him feel understood and that he didn’t need to do this alone. Peter always feels like he’s the only one that can do things. He feels alone.

He looked from the ship to the other kids on the bus to see if anyone else saw it. Nothing. Just him. As usual.

He even described Ned as ‘blissfully ignorant of any imminent danger.’

So after getting used to just him and May, after meeting Tony, after getting used to being Spider-Man, Peter creates a sense of stability and normalcy that helps him heal and continue with his life at a semi-normal pace. In Endgame, he loses that stability all over again. When you lose something that is essentially keeping you together, you start using coping mechanisms to fill in the spots that you consider empty. The ones that are going to break you. Peter doesn’t feel ready to handle all of that pain at once so he starts avoiding the issue.

Peter not only lost Tony, but he also lost his life and remembers fighting in a big war where he got attacked multiple times by an alien army and the mad titan that killed him, Tony and half of the universe. Nobody is ready to deal with that kind of trauma. Nobody.

FFH tells us that it’s been 8 months since The Blip. 8 months Peter’s been avoiding things related to Tony and everything related to Titan in general. He doesn't want to feel the weight of all-consuming grief because one minute he had everything and the next, that disappeared, his semi-normalcy was broken up by waves of tragedy.

Notice how in HOCO he was desperately seeking the superhero big-league adventures; wanting to be part of the Avengers, fighting crime on a bigger scale, fighting villains and more, then in FFH, he was desperately seeking the normal life experiences; romance, field trips, school events, etc.

And I think everyone around him can feel that coming from him so they make sure to reassure him all the time and he gratefully accepts any kind of reassuring comfort he can get from anyone:

There are so many hugs in this movie, I can’t keep track of all of them. I was surprised Peter didn’t hug Mr. Delmar too, I think he even hugged his teacher on one occasion lmao

I think we all know who was the last person Peter hugged before all of this:

It’s really sad when he’s trying his hardest to avoid all of his trauma and nothing seems to work for him. He avoids Fury’s calls, tells May he really needs a break and that he really needs the trip, everything to get as far away as possible from New York.

Anything that saves him from thinking about this:

First, look at him. He’s in a room full of drawings dedicated to Tony Stark and the kid is talking about a plan on how to woo a girl, even Ned is wondering what is going on. Then he advises him to not do any of that.

Then, on the plane, he has to actually listen to his teacher talk about funerals and his only entertainment from the rest of the trip is:

Then he arrives and they get attacked by a gigantic monster. And Peter fights this monster. He hears his classmates discuss this and he hears them call Mysterio a combination of Iron Man and Thor. Notice how after this, instead of calling someone for help or find out where did that monster comes from, he just starts talking about his plan all over again, like nothing happened. Anything related to Tony is a big nope for him.

Unfortunately for Peter:

He’s everywhere. Peter is starting to realize he can’t escape Tony anymore. He told Happy that he sees his face everywhere he goes, this is not only confirmation that Peter’s been trying to avoid it but that he can’t no longer pretend Tony’s not there.

On every occasion someone brought up Tony, Peter couldn’t handle it. He either breaks down or has a panic attack.

He quickly gets attached to someone else and even tells Beck that it’s nice to have someone to talk to about the superhero world, who used to do that with him? Tony. Peter deeply misses him but he’s not willing to accept the fact that he’s gone, he’s just pushing and pushing that reality away from him. Beck is a great manipulator and he can see that Peter doesn’t want to be reminded of this so he pushes Peter back on the topic: ‘It's a hard path. You see things, you do things... Make choices. People look up to you... Even if you win a battle sometimes, they die.’

He even MAKES Peter see Tony everywhere, he’s using Tony’s death against him. He’s taking advantage of the fact that the poor kid can’t handle his father figure’s death:

You know he’s the villain and you what he’s trying to do, but the fact that even he can see what Peter’s trying to do is really sad. He later tells Peter this: ‘ I tried to help you walk away. Now you're making me do this…’ and proceeds to show him Tony’s grave, Iron Man’s zombie suit and tells him what Peter’s been thinking this whole time: ‘If you were good enough, maybe Tony would still be alive’

He’s dealing with two things at the same time: grief and trauma. His grief won’t let him breathe and his trauma is not letting him forget. It’s back and forth. If he lets any of these things in, then he knows he’s done for sure. Everything is going to come back in.

Let's check the boxes:

Peter doesn’t want to remember or touch anything related to Tony.

He doesn’t want to deal with his own trauma/PTSD.

He doesn’t want to carry Tony’s legacy. He feels like he’s not ready and feels like he’s never going to be ready for that.

He’s desperately trying to live his life even if he feels like he’s breaking apart every 5 minutes.

This kid needs help lmao

There are occasions where he spaces out, gets angry, looks like he’s about to choke, etc.

These are the symptoms of someone who’s dealing with PTSD.

When you’re dealing with trauma, you feel the need to shield yourself from everything that might hurt or trigger you. In some parts of the movie, I felt like Peter wasn’t even there. Just think about it. He disappeared and he felt himself disappear before anyone else did. He lost his sense of reality for a couple of seconds but it was enough, life took too much from him in just those seconds. For him, it was 5 minutes but in reality, he lost 5 years. On top of that, you can tell he feels guilty for Tony’s death as well even if its not his fault.

This is the part that haunts me:

And this is the one that heals me:

Let’s be clear, this movie is about Peter learning how to be his own superhero and learning that it’s ok if he doesn’t meet other’s expectations. But this kid still needs to process grief, he still needs to work on his traumas, he needs to get some help. He doesn’t just heal after defeating the villain and that’s it. Hopefully, we’ll see that in the next movie.

Ok, off-topic but I swear, when Beck said Peter looked stupid with Tony’s glasses, I was about to throw some serious hands lmaooo

Thnx♥

#tony stark #peter parker #tom holland #far from home #marvel #irondad #spiderman #iron man #mcu #robert downey jr #endgame #infinity war #avengers #analysis #may parker #ned leeds #happy hogan

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dustedmagazine · 4 years

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Ian Mathers’ 2020: We’re stuck inside our own machines

I’ve had a song I loved in high school and haven’t thought much about since stuck in my head. The song “Apparitions” by the Matthew Good Band is a fine example of the alt rock of the late 90s; if you grew up then but somewhere down in the states (or elsewhere) instead of my southern Ontario you may well have your regional equivalents, and like this one they may not resonate terribly strongly outside of their time and place. It popped back into my head after a long time recently and of course 2020 has changed it a little. A song that as a teen I felt keenly as about loneliness (albeit also about how technology can feed into that) of course now plays on my nerves as another small piece of art about the way that most of us (those scared and/or responsible anyway) have only that relatively narrow, technologically mediated connection to the people we love. All of us, artists and listeners alike, are trying to fit our feelings and art and selves down these little connections, with some success.

On a personal level, 2020 wound up being stressful in ways we couldn’t have predicted even after the pandemic hit. In circumstances that could have seen governments on this continent support those unable to work (and those who shouldn’t have to), support those workers who are truly essential, support workers and renters and even landlords and small businesses, instead we got a near-total abeyance of those governments using the resources we provide them with to save any of us. On a personal level my wife and I were lucky enough to be able to work from home (not that it didn’t come with its own forms of stress, and now that I’m off until January I have several work/stress-related illnesses to recover from) but still saw friends and loved ones lose good, used-to-be-sustainable livings overnight, saw family businesses succumb to a near-total absence of effective government support after months of trying to keep above water, etc.

It is probably no surprise that this is not a situation conducive to listening to music, let alone writing about it; I have deliberately and happily kept busy on behind the scenes stuff at Dusted that I could still manage but looking, at the end of the year, at the amount I managed to actually create is demoralizing if not at all shocking. I’m not sure I think next year will be ‘better’ in many important ways, although at our job there is a growing feeling among coworkers that next year has to have some work/life balance because 2020 was, maybe more than anything else, unsustainable.

That’s not to say I didn’t spend a lot of time and emotion on music this year, and if nothing else constant sleep deprivation, stress, and panic meant I was probably open to being deeply moved by all sorts of art even more than normally (it’s gotten to the point where I can’t even read a sad or moving twitter thread out loud to my wife without getting teary, which is kind of… nice?). Funnily enough the band that did the most to keep me sane didn’t really put out anything in 2020. Personal favorite, Low, instead started, in early April, getting on Instagram with something they called on whim “It’s Friday I’m in Low.” With one brief break they have now done by my count at least 35 shows (catalogued here, by the way), every Friday at about 4 my time.

Admittedly it’s easier for Low to pull this off than some bands, since the 2/3 of the trio that sing are a married couple (they’ve had a couple of socially-distanced backyard shows with bassist Steve Garrington, but he’s mostly been isolating elsewhere). These shows have seen the band’s Alan Sparhawk take a mid-set break to do follow-up phone interviews with the acts featured in the COVID-curtailed touring bands series Vansplainingthat they started on YouTube, or just to give a tour round their vegetable garden and talk tips. It’s seen Alan and Mimi Parker draw on their impressive, 25+ year body of work (averaging 4-5 songs a set, I don’t think they’ve repeated themselves yet) and talk a bit between songs about pandemics, politics, song choices, and whether Alan should grab his bike helmet this time.

They’re not the only musicians out there speaking love and sanity (and playing music) into the strange digital interzone filled with hate and disinformation where we’ve all been forced to gather while locked down, but they were and the most consistent and steady signal being emitted each week. No matter how tired I was from work or what new symptoms I’d developed or what horrific thing I read into the news, even if I had to take an emergency nap while it was actually airing, every Friday the show was there. Once things do return to something more like normal, it’s one of the few things I’ll unambiguously miss about this weird-ass year.

So if that makes an argument for Low as my band of the year (admittedly again… it’s not like Double Negative has aged poorly, either), that does a disservice to those 2020 records I did connect with; even if there are still literally dozens I have to go through, many of which I expect to love, my top picks this year (if as unrankable by me as always) hit me as hard as any top pick in recent years did. So here I present a quick and informal top 5, which the rest of my top 20 following in alphabetical order. Here’s hoping for more time and space in 2021 for music, and even more than that, for more support for those who need it from those who could have been providing it all this time. (The Matthew Good Band, incidentally, always did best with their ballads. “Strange Days” is another I’ve had in my head these days; the image of moving “backwards, into a wall of fire” has stuck with me since the 90s and it’s never felt more grimly appropriate.)

Greet Death — New Hell

New Hell by Greet Death

This one is, in some sense, cheating; it came out November 2019. But that just means it’s the latest winner of my personal Torres Prize for Ian Being Late to the Party (so named because becoming slightly obsessed with Torres’ Sprinter just after I sent in my 2015 list was the first time I noticed that one of my favorite records of each year tends to get picked up by me just after I call it quits on the year, no matter how long I try to wait). This very doom and gloom slowcore/metal/(whatever, just know it’s heavy) trio at first felt very much like my beloved Cloakroom (whose Time Well has also won a Torres Prize) but sure enough nuances revealed themselves. Back in February it felt almost a little too negative, but then the rest of 2020 happened. And the extended burns of “You’re Gonna Hate What You’ve Done” and the title track remain searing.

Holy Fuck — Deleter

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Probably the record I’ve been trying to write about the longest in 2020, and the one I’m most disappointed in myself that I just couldn’t get the requisite paragraphs together. It’s a wonderful effort from the consistently great Toronto resolutely human-created (and —mediated) dance music quartet, one that both feels like a summation of everything they do well, and with the addition of some outside voices (including strong turns from the singers of both Hot Chip and Liars) a step forward at the same time.

Spanish Love Songs — Brave Faces Everyone

Brave Faces Everyone by Spanish Love Songs

As the year got worse, this roar of defiance only got more crucial for me to hear every so often; I was a big enough fan of it, even after writing it up for Dusted, that when they solicited fan footage for a subsequent music video you may just be able to get a glimpse of me in it. (I’m the one in a “No Tories” t-shirt.) My punk rock-loving twin brother was the one who introduced me to Spanish Love Songs and we were supposed to spend an evening in June screaming along to them live in a packed, sweaty room. I need that in my life again.

Julianna Barwick — Healing Is a Miracle

Healing Is A Miracle by Julianna Barwick

It’s a sign of what 2020 has been like here that even just this album title leaves bruises, and while I privately worried Barwick would have a hard time following up 2016’s sublime Will (probably my favorite record that year), it seems that continuing to take whatever downtime she needs to keep focusing and refining her particular muse has once again yielded amazing results. Anyone who thinks they know what a Barwick track sounds like should really check out, say, “Flowers”, but much of this record absolutely sounds like Barwick, just even better than before. She also boasted my wife and I's favorite streaming concert of 2020, an absolutely gorgeous rendition of this album with Mary Lattimore showing up.

Phoebe Bridgers — Punisher

Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers

I joked on Twitter recently that I have far too nice a dad (and far too good a relationship with him) to be as obsessed as I am with Phoebe Bridgers’ “Kyoto”, but here we are. Like most of her generation, Bridgers’ social media presence ranges from shit-posting to inscrutable, but even though things are often just as hard to figure out in her beautiful songs (as they often are in life), there’s an emotional clarity to them that can just grab you deep down. Couple that with seriously impressive songcraft and the progress from her already astounding debut Stranger in the Alps and more than anyone else in 2020 I’m excited to see just where the hell Phoebe Bridgers is going to go, because it feels like she’s talented and hardworking enough to go just about anywhere and drag a lot of our hearts with her.

Other Favorites

Aidan Baker & Gareth Davis — Invisible Cities II

Anastasia Minster — Father

Deftones — Ohms

Hum — Inlet

Kelly Lee Owens — Inner Song

Mesarthim — The Degenerate Era

Perfume Genius — Set My Heart On Fire Immediately

Protomartyr — Ultimate Success Today

Rachel Kiel — Dream Logic

The Ridiculous Trio — The Ridiculous Trio Plays the Stooges

Sam Amidon — Sam Amidon

Shabason, Krgovich & Harris — Philadelphia

Stars Like Fleas — DWARS Session: Live on Radio VPRO

Well Yells — We Mirror the Dead

Yves Tumour — Heaven to a Tortured Mind

Five Reissues/Compilations/etc.

Aix Em Klemm — Aix Em Klemm

Bardo Pond — Adrop/Circuit VIII

Charles Curtis — Performances & Recordings 1998-2018

Coil — Musick to Play in the Dark

Hot Chip — LateNightTales

Ian Mathers

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