#I have a lot of feelings about Perry at all times. I just care him so much

[shima-draws]

What’s your favorite thing about Perry?

I HAVE A LOT OF FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT HIM.......I think one of the best things tho is how quickly he shifts from being absolutely done with everything to being the best listener and supportive friend you could ask for. There's a lot of episodes where he shows up to thwart Doof and he's all business but when things get into sad/trauma territory he's very sympathetic and non-judgemental about it;; which I think Doof appreciates a lot. ALSO he's a very 'go with the flow' type of person (platypus? lol) and can adapt to spontaneous situations so quickly. All those times where Doof invites him to do smth fun or crazy he just shrugs and goes you know what yeah okay I'm in and I love that about him 🤧

[clairenatural]

Dean doesn't like the word "boyfriend." He decides this the second time Cas says it–the first time it was new, shiny, exciting. The second time, he fights the urge to cringe.

It's not the "boy" part. It's not. It would have been, for a long time, but he's dug all that shit up and unpacked all the suitcases. They hold hands in public. They kiss goodbye in front of his coworkers at the garage.

It's just–not enough. Not nearly. Jack comes home from hanging out with his friends and fills Dean on the gossip and his boyfriend and her girlfriend and–that's not them. "Boyfriend" feels like a cheap mockery. Like how demons used to tease.

He's heard "partner." He's heard it from Sam, to Eileen, but he doesn't know how he can stomach it. He's said that word too many times. I'm Agent Tyler and this is my partner, Agent Perry. This is my partner, Agent Page. My partner, Agent Stills. All lies. Sam says he likes it, that he's making it mean something real. Besides, Eileen loves it.

Good for them, Dean thinks. It makes his skin crawl.

So he sticks with “boyfriend” and he shrugs off the funny urge to protest every time Cas says it. It makes him happy, and honestly, it’s not like he has an alternative.

It’s a Sunday when he realizes that somehow, Cas does. They’re at the farmer’s market, like Cas is every weekend, but Dean had picked up weekend shifts and missed the past few. Cas is excited the whole way there, telling Dean about how he’d manage to befriend the local honey vendor in his absence, how she’d invited him to a beginner’s apiarist group she helps run. They beeline (heh) to the honey booth as soon as they get there, and the woman--Judith? Janice?--smiles up at them both, hands Cas a jar of honey like she’d been expecting him, and says “Oh, this must be the husband! I’ve heard so much about you.”

Dean stares at Cas. Cas stares at the honey. Judith/Janice stares at both of them, smile fading as the silence goes on a beat too long. 

Dean clears his throat. “Uh, yeah. The husband, that’s me! Ha ha.” Beside him, Cas relaxes, just barely. In front of him, the woman breathes an audible sigh of relief. “Sorry,” Dean shifts. “Just didn’t, um. Realize I was such a hot topic.” 

The smile he gets is almost sympathetic. “Oh, only good things. Here,” she hands him a business card. “You should also come out to our meeting on Wednesday. Lots of people bring their partners.” She leans in, almost conspiratorial. “Beekeeping can be wonderful for couples.”

It’s at this point that Cas clears his throat and finally looks up from the honey in his hand, evidently giving up hope on escaping this conversation. “Thank you, Janet.” (oh. Janet.) “Dean works late on Wednesdays, but I’m very excited to see you all.” He’s pulling out money as he says this, apparently deciding to just go ahead and end the entire interaction. He hands her the bills, grabs Dean’s hand, and is already moving away from the booth by the time Janet calls “See you Wednesday!” after them.

Cas drags him all the way back to the car without stopping for tomatoes, or Sam's carrots, or the free-range eggs that are way too expensive but Cas buys anyway because you can taste when the hen is well cared-for, Dean (whatever that means). They slide into the car, still not talking, and sit in silence for several long seconds. Dean stares at Cas, who stares out the windshield at the parking lot.

"I can explain," Cas speaks, finally, right as Dean was about to open his mouth and say anything to break the silence.

Dean pauses. Can you? Cause I feel like I missed a few chapters, he thinks.

"I don't work late on Wednesdays," he says instead.

"Oh." Now it's Cas staring at Dean, and Dean staring out at the asphalt.

He turns the keys. He drives them home.

Later, making dinner, Dean rolls the word around in his head. Husband. He's making his husband pasta (It's missing the tomatoes. He's made more with less).

Husband doesn't feel like a costume, like an ill-fitting suit and scratchy tie. It doesn't feel like high school gossip, or a monster trying to hit him where it hurts. It settles in warm in his chest.

It's just the two of them that night, and they're eating in the comfortable silence of the bunker until Dean clears his throat and brings it up. "Why does Janet at the farmer's market think we're married?"

Cas pauses, fork of pasta halfway to his mouth. He puts the fork down and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad," Dean hurries to clarify. "It's just that there's usually, uh. Steps, you know. Like a whole....thing."

"I'm aware." Cas sighs. "She assumed, seeing us around - the first time I spoke to her without you, she asked where my husband was. And I..."

"You didn't correct her?"

"...No. I, um." Cas is looking down at his plate again. He picks up the fork, still half-full of pasta, then puts it back down again. "I didn't want to?" He says the end of the sentence like a question but looks back up at Dean and squints just a bit, and Dean knows he's watching for a reaction.

"Uh huh."

"It felt trivial."

"To tell her we're not married?"

"To call you my boyfriend." For the first time, he stumbles over the word.

Dean blinks. "You--" he stops, brain processing too much information to finish that sentence. "Okay." He leans back in his chair. Sighs. Rubs a hand across his eyes and lets it drag down his face. "Okay, listen. I don't like boyfriend either, but we gotta...talk about it."

"We are talking about it. You don't like it either?" Cas leans forward as Dean slumps back, following him across the table.

Dean snorts. "No, man." He shakes his head. "It's been a decade. I've seen you die." Six times. But who's counting.

"I agree." Cas pauses, and then, as if it's the most natural conclusion in the world, "Will you marry me?"

Dean actually laughs at this. "You're asking me that now?"

Cas quirks an eyebrow at him. "I've grown quite fond of calling you my husband at the farmer's market. I'd like to continue."

Dean stares at him in disbelief. It's not how he'd pictured it going, but he also can't think of it going any other way. Slowly, he nods. "Yeah, okay. Let's be husbands."

Across the table, Cas grins at him.

"But we're getting rings," Dean points a finger at him, because something about this is going to be normal.

"If you'd like. Although I already told Janet that you can't wear a ring because of your work at the garage, and I don't wear mine in solidarity."

"Rings," Dean insists, and decides to overlook the rest of that sentence. For now. He stabs his fork into a pile of the pasta. "And let me stop for the damn tomatoes next time."

They get rings and wear them on chains around their necks. Cas puts a beehive on the hill, and there's a small ceremony in the summer - a "vow renewal" to Cas' beekeeping group, who all receive invites attached to little jars of honey. Janet gets the nicest one.

[ro-is-struggling]

Breakfast In Bed || Clark Kent x Reader

Based on THIS and THIS requests

Summary: Being married to a superhero was bound to have some tough times, you knew that well when you accepted Clark's marriage proposal. However, the last few months were becoming too difficult for you as he was having trouble balancing his daily life and his responsibilities as Superman. Intentional or not, he was neglecting you and you were getting tired of waking up alone every morning. But just when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, Clark surprises you with breakfast in bed and a talk that reminds you why you love him so much.

Warnings: a little angst, but mostly fluff, fem!reader

English is not my first language

Word count: 1800

Notes: I don’t know why but I always have the need to write Clark like the most romantic and adorable man in the world, so enjoy! Consider this as my valentine gift to you

You knew your relationship with Clark would be complicated from the moment you learned about his special abilities. You always knew he was far from ordinary, you just thought his greatness had more mundane roots —his kindness, his empathy, the way he cared about everyone and how he always surprised you by remembering even the smallest details, all the normal things that made you fall in love with him. You'd be lying if you said you weren't surprised to learn the truth, but it also explained a lot —the way he sometimes seemed to be able to be on two sides at the same time, his incredible strength and great sense of hearing. It made you worry about the kinds of dangers he faced every day as Superman, but it also made you love him even more. So you decided that you would stay by his side knowing full well that your relationship would be far from normal. 

Through it all, you managed to make things work. Clark was very good at keeping his identity secret to protect you. And you were great at pretending that his long absences didn't bother you, making him feel better when he was late for your anniversary dinner after a year of marriage. To be honest, it wasn't always that terrible. You did have plenty of moments of blissful intimacy, away from the outside world and the dangers it presented. And it was wonderful. You loved spending quality time with your husband, even if it was just sitting in silence working to meet some deadline for work. Just knowing he was there with you was enough to make you feel happy, loved.

The problem you had now was that he was spending less and less time at home. He came home late every night, exhausted after a long day at work —both as Clark at the Daily Planet and as Superman helping people in danger. And in the mornings you were lucky if you got to have breakfast together. He always tried to make time for you, to spend a romantic evening at a nice restaurant or curl up on the couch to watch a movie, but somehow work always got in the way. If it wasn't Perry calling him to cover an urgent story for the paper, it was a person in danger crying out for Superman. 

It was frustrating because you felt you couldn't say no. Clark would always ask your opinion before doing anything, looking at you with those beautiful blue eyes while assuring you that if you said no, he would stay where he was. But how could you say no when a child in danger cried for their hero or a tragic accident required his presence? There was no way your conscience would let you live with that decision.

You knew his work was important. Both inside and outside the newspaper, he helped people. People in vulnerable situations, people in danger, people who needed to be heard. It was truly noble of him and you admired him for his determination to make the world a better place. That was the biggest reason why you didn't say anything, but the truth was that you missed him.

You missed coming home from work and finding him waiting for you, asking you how your day had been the moment you walked through the front door. You missed going to sleep next to him at night after spending hours sharing work stories over dinner. You missed the warmth of his body wrapping around you in the cold mornings and hearing his voice raspy with sleep wishing you good morning when he still had his eyes closed. In the last few weeks you were lucky if he made it to dinner. Going to sleep alone and waking up alone in the mornings had become your routine. And you hated it.

That morning was no exception. When you opened your eyes you found the left side of the bed empty. Your arms clung tighter to Clark's pillow, inhaling his scent to make you feel less lonely. It was supposed to be his day off, but you wouldn't be surprised if Perry had called him last minute or some catastrophe had gotten him out of bed early. You had barely seen him last night. Clark had arrived late when you were already asleep and you only managed to mumble his name in the dark and hug him when he lay down next to you, and now he wasn't next to you when you woke up either. The day had barely begun and you already wanted it to end.

Letting out a long sigh, you decided it would be best to get up and do something to distract your mind. Clark wasn't there and it wasn't going to do your mental health any good to stay in bed crying all morning. So you dragged your feet lazily to the bathroom, going about your morning routine before leaving the room to prepare breakfast.

Only the moment you opened the door you were assaulted by the smell of freshly brewed coffee. You frowned in confusion, wondering if perhaps you had mistakenly left the coffee maker running all night. However, when you entered the kitchen you discovered that it was no mistake. Standing in front of the stove was Clark, flipping pancakes and cutting up some fruit while humming to himself. 

You couldn't help but smile as you watched him move. He still had his pajama pants on and his hair was a mess. You took advantage of the fact that his back was turned to you to admire him silently as a warm and fuzzy feeling spread through you. The sadness disappeared from your system as you watched him carefully stack the pancakes, taking his time to decorate them with little pieces of fruit just the way you liked. He looked adorable, bent over the counter as he arranged breakfast on a tray, ready to be taken to bed. You wanted to run over and hug him, but before you could move from the doorway Clark turned, finally sensing your presence.

"What are you doing there? You're supposed to be sleeping." he said and you could swear he sounded disappointed to see you there. "I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed."

You walked into the kitchen. Just a couple of steps and you were in front of him, wrapping your arms around his naked torso and resting your head on his chest as you hugged him. Clark reciprocated right away, planting a kiss on the top of your head as he breathed in the scent of your hair. 

"I'm sorry," you pouted, lifting your head from his chest to look at him. "We can go back to bed if you want."

Clark answered you with a kiss, his lips caressing yours gently. It was a quick kiss, but it still managed to take your breath away. 

"What's the occasion?" You asked as you broke away, stealing a strawberry from the pancakes and popping it into your mouth. It wasn't your anniversary or your birthday and it wasn't Valentine's Day, so you wondered what had prompted Clark to make such a gesture to you. 

"I wanted to apologize... I know I haven't been around much and I know it's not easy for you, even though you are too nice to tell me."

"Clark..." You wanted to intervene, but he silenced you by resting his index finger on your lips.

"I need you to know that you're important to me, more important than anything else." Clark slid his hand up to your cheek, his fingers caressing your skin gently. He gave you a warm smile, losing himself for a moment in the bright light of your eyes. "Do you remember what I told you the day I asked you to marry me? I said with these powers I could see the beauty of the universe, the flowers blooming on the other side of the planet or dying stars exploding in brilliant light thousands of miles away, and yet, the day I meet you I knew I had to be with you because for the first time in my life the only thing in the universe worth looking at was right there in front of me. That is still true. It will always be true, angel."

"Damn it, smallville!" You let out a giggle, feeling the tears building up in your eyes as you remembered that day —one of the happiest days of your life. You hated the way he always knew exactly what to say to make you feel better, it made being mad at him really hard.

Clark smiled at you, his blue eyes shining with love in them as he gently wiped away a tear that had escaped and rolled down your cheek. "You're the most important thing in my life and I'm sorry I haven't been showing it these past months. I promise you I'll be better in the future. I'll try harder to make this work, to make us work."

"I know this is hard for you too, baby." You said, letting your hands fall from his shoulders to his chest. You knew Clark wasn't neglecting you on purpose. You knew it hurt him as much as it hurt you to be away or to miss a date you had been planning for a long time. Balancing his normal life and his superhero life had always been one of his biggest challenges. 

"I know you love me and I know you care about me, you don't have to doubt that. I knew things were going to be difficult sometimes the day I said yes. I understand how important being Superman is to you, it is who you are and I love you for that too. I just... miss you sometimes, but I'm sure we're going to find a way to work this out. We always do."

"I swear if I could love you more I would explode." Clark smiled at you before taking your face in his hands again and pressing his lips together. You couldn't help but smile into the kiss, feeling that familiar warmth fill you inside. It was the comforting warmth of love, of the happiness it gave you to be in Clark's arms after so much loneliness.

That was the Clark you missed so much. The loving husband who wrapped his arms around you and kissed you until his lips were tired. The one who showered you with compliments until you were flustered. The one who didn't hesitate to show you how much he loved you with sweet words or cute details. It had been so long since you had the chance to be alone like that, sharing such an intimate moment, that you almost forgot how good it felt when Clark kissed you or how safe you felt when he put his arms around you. It was a beautiful feeling that you could only describe as the touch of true love. You never wanted to forget it, you were willing to do anything not to lose it.

"I love you too." You murmured against Clark's lips, giving him a quick peck before pulling away from him. "Now, about that breakfast..."

Clark let out a chuckle. "Go back to bed, I'll be there in a second."

[benevolentbones]

distance | spencer reid x reader

song fic based on distance by christina perri

warnings: angsty-ish? (un)requited love? gender neutral reader

word count: 2.3k

summary: spencer suddenly begins to distance himself from you, and you don’t know why.

a/n: i hope you enjoy this!!! i recommend you listen to the song before/during reading this<3 reblogs and comments appreciated

it was early afternoon at the bau, the team were all seated at their respective desks reading over case files and filling in paperwork.

a pale golden light filled the room as sunshine streamed in through the large east-facing windows of the bullpen.

a mosaic of reflections was created as it danced off the metal and glass surfaces, giving the otherwise ordinary scene a hint of magic. the desks, which were before overflowing with paperwork and coffee cups, appeared to be glowing softly, with the shadows cast by their contents extending far and wide across the ground.

the sun is filling up the room,

and i can hear you dreaming.

spencer yawned and leaned back in his seat, his hair a mess as he continued working on the mountain of paperwork. he glanced at you and notices the way the sunlight shined on your face, turning his head so you didn't notice him staring.

he was trying his best to keep his composure as he felt a swarm of butterflies in his stomach. there was something about the way you would look focused, your eyes scanning over documents, that made his heart skip a beat.

do you feel the way i do, right now?

i wish we would just give up,

'cause the best part is falling.

morgan walked over to spencer's desk, his curiosity piqued by spencer's frequent glances in your direction. he leaned against the partition, arms crossed, and waited for spencer to look up from his paperwork.

"hey, lover boy," morgan started, a playful tone in his voice. "i've been noticing something.” spencer eyed morgan, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“you've been staring at y/n a lot today. you got a little crush on them or something?" morgan’s eyes trailed over to you, you were stacking some files on your desk.

spencer's face turned crimson as he fumbled with the pen in his hand. "w-what? no, no, it's not like that-" he stammered, his eyes darting around as if searching for an escape.

morgan raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile creeping across his face. "oh really? because it sure looks like it from here."

spencer took a deep breath, trying to collect himself. "i wasn't staring. i mean, i might have looked over a few times, but it’s just because... because they’re working on the same case as i am."

morgan chuckled, shaking his head. "sure, man. whatever you say. just be careful, though. you might want to try being a bit less obvious if you don't want anyone else to notice."

as Morgan shuffled away, he looked back and shot spencer a wink. the hazel eyed man buried his face in his hands, wishing he could disappear into his desk.

“it’s not like that..” he muttered into his hands, lying to himself.

call it anything but love.

you had noticed spencer’s behaviour changing towards you over the last few weeks, he seemed a lot more reserved, closed off, and to be completely honest it was bothering you more than you’d like to admit.

spencer was one of your close friends at the bau, you always spent time with him, especially on your lunch break, but recently he had been taking lunch at a separate time, the reason unbeknownst to you.

so there you were, sitting alone in the lunch room for the fourth day in a row that week, aimlessly scraping your fork against your plate. your free hand intertwining with the wires of your headphones as you listened to music, filling the silence with your favourite band.

you kept your head low, not noticing spencer enter the lunchroom. he paused briefly in the doorway, his gaze fixing on your form. he let out a small sigh, his expression saddening when he notices you’re alone.

he hated avoiding you, this is when you both would usually chat about your day or make plans to hang out after work- and there he was distancing himself from you because he didn’t want to ruin the friendship because of his silly feelings.

he chewed on his bottom lip, mentally battling it out in his brain wether he should go and speak to you or not. he decided on the latter, mumbling to himself.

“i love you- and i hate it.”

and i will make sure to keep my distance,

say i love you when you're not listening,

how long, can we keep this, up?

the team had just been assigned a new case, everyone stood around as jj briefed them. spencer arrived in late, the only remaining spot free would cause him to be wedged between morgan and you.

he reluctantly stood beside you, glancing over to your form. his face growing warm when he noticed your eyes on him, giving him a reserved smile.

he could feel his breath hitch in his throat at your proximity, he couldn’t recall the last time he was the close to you in the last few weeks and it was driving him insane.

please don't stand so close to me

i’m having trouble breathing.

for the entire briefing, spencer spent his time casting glances in your direction. god, he thought, you looked so beautiful as you intently listened to jj speak.

your shirt hugging your frame perfectly, the sleeves rolled up to your elbows. you wore your signature perfume, the familiar scent clawing at his senses.

how he wanted to just pull you aside as kiss you, tell you how he’s been feeling the last few weeks- how he wished that you would want him back, he dreamed of being with you and it was ruining his life.

but he was afraid. afraid he would mess things up with you, afraid you wouldn’t feel the same and everything would be different, more than it already was. he wasn’t good in relationships, he thought, he wasn’t good enough for you. they never worked out well for him- and he couldn’t do that to you. he loved you too much.

i'm afraid of what you'll see, right now.

i'll give you everything i am,

all my broken heartbeats.

until i know you'll understand.

when it was time for the team to board the jet, spencer opted to sit in the corner next to morgan. as you walked down the aircraft, your eyes flickered over his seated form, feeling a slight pang in your chest.

spencer always sat with you- you would both usually read together or play chess- or he would let you sleep against his shoulder. but seeing him sitting with morgan, his head already buried in a book, really upset you.

you shuffled to the other side of the jet, sitting down in your usual spot on the couch, a small frown etched onto your features, which didn’t go unnoticed by the majority of the team. they had all come to realise spencer’s draw back from you, and it was starting to effect both spencer and your work.

as the jet took off, everyone busied themselves, reading over case files or chatting to each other quietly. you racked your brain for a reason why spencer had been so distant with you, did you do something wrong? did you upset him? you couldn’t figure it out, and it was driving you mad.

you worried that maybe he caught onto your feelings for him, and that this was his way of showing he had no interest in you. you frowned even more at the thought, putting your headphones on to try and distract from the gnawing pain in your chest.

morgan glanced down the jet, noticing your reclusive form and upset facial expression. he hated to see you like that. he turned to spencer, almost knocking the book the younger man was reading, out of his hands.

“what was that for?” spencer spoke in a defensive tone, shutting the book to focus his attention on morgan.

“what’s the deal reid?” morgan spoke, his tone confrontational unlike how he usually joked. “why are you avoiding y/n?”

spencer felt a pang of guilt, his dark eyes quickly flickering onto you. you sat with your knees pressed to your chest, your chin resting on top of them. “i’m not-“

“cut the crap- yes you are. what’s your problem, huh?” morgan cut him off, more harshly then he had intended.

spencer’s gaze drifts over to you, examining you for a moment before going back to morgan, who was impatiently waiting for an answer.

“i..” he began, internally conflicted on wether he should explain himself to the older man beside him. “i- i love them. and i know they don’t feel the same- i’m not good enough.” he mumbled out lowly so only morgan could pick up on his words.

“you are an idiot, you know that reid?” morgan ran a hand over his face, partially annoyed at the fact that spencer could be so oblivious at times.

and i will make sure to keep my distance,

say i love you when you're not listening,

how long, can we keep this, up?

after the team landed, everyone disembarked the jet. you quickly put your headphones in your go bag and shuffled down the jet. spencer stood from his seated position as you passed, he reached out a hand, his mouth forming words that couldn’t escape past his lips. you moved past him, your bag bumping against his arm as you left.

spencer looked back to morgan, who raised his eyebrow giving spencer a knowing look. if he didn’t say something today he would lose you, your friendship.

after a long day of working on the case, traveling from crime scene to crime scene, hotch finally called the team in for the night. you were all set up in a fairly decent hotel for the night.

hotch passed out keycards to the entire team, slowly handing you the piece of plastic, a remorseful look plastered on his usually stern features. you thanked him and walked in the direction of your room, unknownst to you that someone was following.

“y/n- wait.” spencer called out, stopping you in your tracks right outside your hotel room.

you stared back at him, noticing the concern in his voice. “what is it, spencer.” your voice was tired, today was exhausting and you wanted nothing more than slip into your bed and fall asleep.

“can..can we talk?”

you ran a hand through your hair, chewing on the inside of your cheek. “i’m really tired reid..” you trailed off. this stung him a bit, you never referred to him by his last name. his facial expression contorted, a sad looking washing over his features.

your eyes softened, despite it all you still loved him. “…what is it.” you mumbled out, leaning against the wallpaper on the corridor.

“i- i’m sorry.”

you sighed, trying to understand the depth of his apology. “for what..”

spencer’s shoulders slumped as he looked down at his hands, fidgeting with his own hotel key card. “for everything…” he paused, his dark eyes trailing up your body to meet yours.

“for not- talking to you- for keeping my distance- i didn’t mean..”

“why, why did you do it?” you muttered out, your gaze not leaving his taller form.

spencer let out a shaky breath “i was afraid-“

“afraid of what? we’ve been friends for years- and suddenly you just stop talking to me out of nowhere- what did i do wrong?” you scoffed out, folding your arms over your chest.

spencer averted his eyes, glancing around the hall at the faded wallpaper, the patterned carpets..anything but you.

“that’s exactly why- i didn’t want to ruin things.”

“for someone so logical- you’re not making any sense at all, spencer.”

he huffed slightly, his hazel eyes flickering over you once more. “i was afraid of losing you if i told you- i-“ he struggled to continue his sentence.

you shifted your stance, your body language becoming less defensive than it had been.

and i keep waiting

for you to take me

and you keep waiting

to save what we had

“how would you lose me..”

“if i told you how- how i feel- our friendship would be ruined- and i didn’t want to lose that, i care about you too much..” he trailed off, his soft eyes staring right back at you.

your eyebrows furrowed slightly, face warming. what did he mean by that. a small scoff passed your lips as you spoke. “how would you know, you didn’t communicate anything to me. you just shut yourself off.”

spencer looked down at his shoes, his voice soft. “i know…i’m sorry.”

you could hear the sincerity in his voice, you knew he felt guilty for this. you inhaled through your nose before you spoke. “look spencer..i’m tired. lets just…continue this tomorrow.”

he let out a defeated sigh, nodding towards you. “okay..goodnight y/n.” he trailed off, watching as you turned to your hotel room door, slipping the keycard into the lock.

“goodnight spencer…”

make sure to keep my distance,

say i love you when you're not listening,

how long, 'til we call this love?

taglist!! @0108s22m @rainoftearss @potatovoyager @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @luvmia222 @shardsofmarxx @silver138 @lover-of-books-and-tea @thedancingnerdmermaid @khxna

[thepinkmermaidprincess]

working at an ice cream shop with bestfriend!jj maybank who you are secretly in love with during the summer…💗🍨🎀🤍

"JJ,oh my god,are you serious" you screamed angrily at the blonde.In all JJ fashion,he was fooling around and hit the icecream in your hand that fell dramatically to the floor.

"Shit,sorry baby…",jj respond laughing,"i’m cleaning it,i promise,go."

So you ended up remaking the little girl’s order,an strawberry/bubblegum icecream,shaking you head smiling.

JJ was cleaning up the mess and as he lean down you couldn’t help but check out his gorgeous ass.You and JJ has been best friend since 3 years,you were Kiara’s only friend at the Kook academy and she presented you to the pogue.JJ instantly caught your eyes but at the time you were with Rafe and as time passed,you two became really good friends and as much as you like him,you know the feeling was not mutual,you were the opposite of his type and he hated kook.But sometimes,when you were alone at night in your bed or at the beach looking at the moon you couldn’t help but wonder if friendship was truly the only feeling JJ felt for you.He always called you baby,gived you compliments,it’s no secret his love language is physical touch but most importantly he looks at you like you hung the moon.Like you’re the most beautiful girl he has ever seen.

You two always go on adventures together,loves swimming and surfing.He always sneak out in the middle of the night in your room after a particularly bad argument with his dad to hold you and let you take care of him.You knew it means a lot for JJ to let you see him like that,so vulnerable and so broken not like his usual funny no-worries personality.You loved every part of him,broken and beautiful.That’s why you never confessed any of your true feelings.You knew JJ was scared of intimacy and love,the last thing you wanted was to lose him.So you keep your true feeling locked in your heart,hoping that one day he’ll fall in love with you.

"Baby,Jackson just left,i’m begging you change this awful playlist.",JJ said while making a couple of teenagers that were at the Kook academy with you icecream.

Jackson was your manager and the owner of Teenage Icecream,a icecream shop at the port of the island.Jackson was nice except he was a little old and make everyone listen to his awfully sad playlist all the time.

It was a beautiful summer day so you decided to put your candy summer playlist.Teenage dream by Katy Perry started filling the shop.You loved working here,you loved seeing people laughing and having fun with their loved one.You also loved the smell of icecream.

The little pink bell on the counter started ringing,signaling that a customer is here.

"I take care of it",you tell JJ.

But as you turned to look at the counter,you saw Rafe aka your ex boyfriend standing here looking at you up and down.You and Rafe dated for 2 years before breaking up two years ago because he was just so controlling and mean you couldn’t do it anymore.You knew about his dad and you understood how hard it was for him but he never let you in.The relationship made you more unhappy than happy so you decided to break thing off.

"Oh Rafe,hi…",you said a little uncomfortable,you haven’t talk to him for month,"what can i get you?"

"Hi doll,a vanilla and coffee sorbet please.",he said shyly which was strange coming from him.You started making his order and while giving you the money he asked you.."what are you doing tonight?Topper’s throwing a party.”

"Mhm no…i’m busy.I promised JJ to watch a movie with him tonight."

"Seriously y/n, JJ? I mean come on,you got to realize he’s only friends with you to get under your pretty little skirts.",he started to talk a little louder which makes people turn around to look at you.That comment brings tears in your eyes,since puberty the only reason that boy have cared about you was sex.Even with Rafe.It made you feel ashamed and bad about your body and you hated that.You wanted someone who wanted your amazing mind AND your gorgeous body.Not only your body.And JJ has never once made you feel like that.

"Rafe please,take your icecream and leave.I’m not interested in doing anything with you.",you sighed,you hated how rafe made you feel.But you felt a sentiment of pride as you turned him down.Since you’re broke up,you took back some of the confidence he took and you felt strong.

Rafe started talking louder,almost screaming,begging you to go out with you because he changed blah blah blah…

" Okay,dude that’s enough.",jj said while putting you aside and standing in front of Rafe,you’ve never heard him so angry."Get out.You’re embarrassing yourself."

Rafe was going to argue but his dad came in,angry,saying that he did not have the time for this.They left and your heart felt so much less heavy.

"You good,baby?",JJ said softly while playing with your hair.

"Yeah i’m fine,nothing a good unicorn icecream can’t fix",you said smiling with a smile that did not reach your ear.

"Nah,I’m doing it for ya,sit down,look beautiful and relax for me.",he said before kissing your cheek and making your pink icecream.

˚₊‧꒰ა 🎀໒꒱ ‧₊˚

For the rest of the day,you served ice cream and laughed with JJ till your cheeks hurt from smiling too much.He acted extra silly and even more clumsy then usual,just to kept your pain out of your mind.God,you loved this boy so much.As you walked back home with JJ,he turned around in front of your pool and look at you with worry in his eyes.

"Hey…about what Rafe said…i care about you so much…so so much.I’m not your friend just to get you in bed.You’re so much more than just your body",he sighed dreamily,"God,how i love your crazy smart mind.You always left me speechless by how many knowledge you have.And i value everything about us.Please don’t ever let him tear you down…Fuck,i hate him so much.He never deserved you,not you and certainly not your love."

A tear streamed down your face but what he said made you so happy.You didn’t hesitate before doing something you dreamed about and wrote about in your diary.You kissed him.

After a couple of second,he returned the kiss and you couldn’t even form a thought other than how incredible this boy was.His lips were the softest you’ve ever kissed and he tasted like the orange ice cream he eaten at the shop.The kiss made you feel like you were in a teenage dream.This is the type of kiss little girl dream about when they think of true love.The kiss feel like infinity,you couldn’t even breathe but you didn’t care.You wanted to breathe him and him only.

He finally broke the kiss,a gigantic smile on both of your faces.

"You don’t know for how long i have wanted to do that ", he said with so much happiness."Y/n i’ve never done relationships i have no idea what a healthy one looks like but please please please teach me.Teach me how you want me to love you because all i know is that i want to make you smile,and dance,and make you feel loved,appreciated and make you realize how amazing you are.I want to treat you right,like a princess and i’m going to try really hard.But i’m scared to fuck up,scared to lose you..i.."

"You won’t,JJ,i promise you won’t.",you sounded desperate but you didn’t care.Not when you felt so much love.

"I want to be with you,please let me be your boyfriend.I know your parents think i’m trouble,i know that i am trouble and you deserve better than i can give you but baby no one will ever love you as much as me.That i assure you.I love you.So much.I do.I don’t want anyone else.I’m willing to fight for us.To show every one that i can love you as you deserve.",he was breathing heavily now after his declaration.

You jumped in his arm and he wrapped your legs around his waist,his hands wrapped around your waist."I love you so much JJ.So much.Yes,i want you to be my boyfriend."

You guys laughed and then went back in your room to watch some new action movie JJ wanted to watch for so long.

As you fallen asleep wrapped in JJ’s arms,you felt so happy and content.Your love story just begun and you were so excited to have a gossip session with Kiara and Sarah to tell them all about JJ and how much you loved him.

hope u loved it ♡ English is not my first language so i apologize for any mistakes <3

The way i presented this fic is heavily inspired by @princessbrunette please check her blog <3 it’s amazing

[agaypanic]

I saw that you were interested in lab rats requests, and I'm obsessed with that show and have like a billion thoughts in my head so can i request a chase davenport x reader, where the reader is perry's niece and shes kind of a grey character. Like she's mean to everyone who deserves it, especially those who are mean to Chase, which is honestly a lot of people. Similar to Jade from victorious but less intense lol. One day she just goes off and Chase is just so into it.

Chase Davenport With Principal Perry's Niece Headcanons

Masterlist

Request Something!

A/N: fun fact, i know jade from clips on tiktok, but ive actually never really seen victorious aside from one episode that my ex made me watch years ago that i barely paid attention to lol

***

He’s a bit scared of you at first

He thinks you’ll be like your aunt, who’s a bit of a nightmare

But he’s quickly proven wrong when you’re left alone

“You! Dorky twerp!” Principal Perry pointed at Chase and his siblings, and they all looked at her confused.

“Think that means you, bud,” Adam said, pushing Chase towards the woman before running off, Bree and Leo hot on his heels. Chase hesitantly closed the distance between him and Perry.

“Yes, Principal Perry?”

“Meet my niece, Y/n.” It was then that he noticed you, standing beside your aunt. You wore a bored expression. “She’s new here, moved in with me because her parents are fighting for custody, and the judge thinks they’re both incompetent.”

“Aunt Terry…” You groaned, wishing she didn’t always feel the need to share such personal and unnecessary information.

“Anyways, I want you to show her to her classes.” Perry leaned in close to Chase, glaring at him. “Make a move on her, and you’re dead meat, Daven-dork.”

You and Chase watched her walk away, somewhat mortified. Then you looked at each other in an awkward silence. You were the first to speak.

“Sorry about her…” You laughed a little, trying to lighten the mood. “What’s your name?”

“Chase.” He responded, a bit taken aback. If he was being honest, he thought that there was something in Perry’s DNA that made her the crabby, mean woman she was. So it would’ve made sense if everyone related to her was similar. “Chase Davenport.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” You smile, holding your hand out for him to shake. He smiled back as he shook your hand. 

“Nice to meet you, too.”

You quickly become inseparable, much to your aunt’s chagrin

You’re a lot nicer than her, which surprises everyone

But that doesn’t mean you’re never mean

Luckily, it’s only to people who deserve it

Trent was quick to become a pain in your ass. Not directly to you; he was too scared of Perry’s wrath. But the way he treated Chase and his siblings pissed you off. Chase told you not to worry about it, that he was used to it, but you weren’t having it.

“Just because you’re used to it doesn’t mean you should be, Chase.” You say as he told you for the tenth time today to forget about Trent and his behavior.

“Aw, it’s cute that you care,” Chase said, laughing when you jokingly pushed him and told him to be quiet. But then he got pushed again, only this time much rougher.

“This kid bothering you, Y/n?” Trent asked with a flirty grin, getting close. You rolled your eyes, pushing past him to get back to Chase.

“No, but someone else is.” You say with a deadpan tone, staring intensely at Trent. He looked around the hall.

“Who?”

“Jesus.” You muttered, you and Chase snickering to each other as you walked away.

Sometimes, your anger gets the best of you

Like when Chase’s bullies start to get a bit physical

You fight back more than he does

After what felt like forever, you got out of your last class of the day and went to the main hall to wait for Chase. He was often waiting for you by his locker, ready to walk you home.

But today, he wasn’t the only person at his locker. A few guys from the football team surrounded him, pushing him whenever he tried to move away.

“Fellas, come on.” He laughed nervously. 

“Shut up, nerd!”

“Hey!” You shouted from across the hall, effectively grabbing all of the boys’ attention. You stomped over to them. “Leave him alone.”

The jocks all turned to surround you, looking amused.

“Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it?” One of them asked, leaning close to you. “You know, I’m not afraid to hit a girl.”

“I’m not either.” You responded before stomping on his foot and punching him in the stomach. He yelped in pain, and his friends backed away. You grabbed the boy by the ear, making him wince. “Considering football is probably the only thing you and your friends are good at, I suggest you apologize and get the hell out of here. Unless you wanna try to play with some broken fingers?”

The jock immediately shook his head, the others doing the same.

“I’m sorry.” He squeaked.

“I’m not the one you should be saying that to.” You let go of his ear and pushed him towards Chase. Chase stepped aside, watching the football player run into the lockers from the force of your shoving. 

“Sorry…” He said to Chase before looking at his friends and running away with them. The apology didn’t seem too genuine, sounding more scared than anything else. But it was a start.

“You okay?” You asked, looking Chase up and down for any possible damage. He stared at you in slight shock, slowly nodding. You smiled and held your hand out. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Chase swiftly grabbed your hand, walking out of the school with you.

“That was hot.” The short but serious sentence made you laugh.

[beetheyapper]

MUSIC I THINK THE POETS WOULD ENJOY

this is not time period accurate but i do not care. i at least tried to keep it pre-2000s. also i’m 100% projecting my music taste onto them. deal with it? spotify playlists, each of which has around 30 songs, are linked below each description ! i spent forever on this 😭

Charlie Dalton

i’m not sure that i could pinpoint very many artists he’d particularly like, but this is a classic rock boy right here. he’d be into ac/dc, motley crue, led zeppelin, etc. perhaps a bit of duran duran (this is where i’m projecting the most.) songs about s3x and women, and songs that make him feel like the rebel he is. (this playlist has been gale hansen approved on twitter btw)

Neil Perry

oh i just know this kid would be into some funk and pop, especially 80s and perhaps even new wave (i’m again projecting). now THIS is a duran duran fan (specifically their early stuff), which is unsurprising since the lead singer has a drama degree. he’d also probably like fleetwood mac, and would be well-versed in the band’s drama. duran duran, wham!, fleetwood mac, abba, maybe even some hall & oates. songs with complex lyrics and also songs that make him wanna dance. lots of upbeat stuff because though he has things that bother him, he’d rather do anything but dwell on them.

Todd Anderson

honestly, considering they’re roommates, i feel like neil would’ve had a bit of an impact on todd’s music taste, so there’s some band influence there—but regardless, i think todd would be into more mellow and emotional songs. jeff buckley comes to mind, along with the eagles, the beatles and maybe a splash of the smiths also pls pretend now and then didn’t come out last year. he would also be letting it linger i fear

Knox Overstreet

knox would be similar to Charlie, as they probably bond over shared music taste just as much as everything else. very heavy on the classic rock, but a lean more towards songs about needing someone and love songs as he pines for Chris. Tom Petty, Robert Palmer, The Cars, and a bunch of songs introduced to him by Charlie. He sticks more to genre/theme than to a specific artist methinks

Richard Cameron

contrary to what some may think, i think Cameron would absolutely groove to some rock n roll. HOWEVER. he is a 60s-70s rock n roll elitist. he thinks Billy Idol’s cover of Mony Mony is a disgrace. he wholeheartedly believes the Beatles are the best band to have ever graced the planet. The Beatles, The Beach Boys. The Rolling Stones, etc. Maybe even some Simon & Garfunkel. Him and Charlie argue a lot about which decades were the best years of rock music

Gerard Pitts

free my boy. he just wants to dance he ain’t do nothing wrong. his music taste has definitely been influenced by some of the other poets, in the sense that if he hears a song with a funky beat that makes him want to dance, it’s added to his mixtape IMMEDIATELY. for this reason, i’m thinking lots of funk and groove. play that funky music white boy! Bee Gees, ABBA, Talking Heads, Pet Shop Boys, etc. as long as he can dance to it he could care less who it’s by

Steven Meeks

another old rock, but more on the calm side with some hints of folk and fun. Donovan, The Beatles (paul is his fav for sure), The Beach Boys, and he definitely loves every white person anthem, including Sweet Caroline. he likes to groove with Pitts but also like soothing music to study to !!! i had to consult my friend on this one i fear i was drawing a blank

AND THAT is my opinion on each of the poets’ music taste. did i squeeze Duran Duran into almost all of them? perhaps. they’re my fav band let me live… feel free to listen to the playlists (please listen to them. pls i don’t want to have made them in vain.) and maybe even become spotify moots with me :D

[charmedimsure]

Being Fred Weasley’s Muggle S/O and Learning About the Wizard World

I've been very slowly adding onto this for over a year and I finally feel like I have enough. enjoy!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

You didn't know what you expected the wizarding world to be like, but you definitely didn't think it would be so stereotypical

You lost your mind the first time you saw him on a broom

"I think this is the best thing i've ever seen. Nothing in my life will ever be able to beat this moment"

You were proven wrong when Fred fell off the broom while trying to impress you

You thought that moving staircases were so cool

Until you were in a rush to get somewhere but had to wait for the stairs to move

"Why can't you just have normal stairs that don't stop you from going to the bathroom?!" “Where’s the fun in that?” “THE FUN IN THAT IS THAT I GET TO PEE, FRED!”

The shock you were in when you walked into a wizard pet store and saw a RAT

Standing in the corner of the store watching in horror as a mother buys the rat for her young son

Might have definitely gotten sick the first time you were apparated

Nearly getting your hand bit off when you found his old Care of Magical Creatures textbook

Remember how in the last one I said that you showed him Phineas and Ferb?

The first time you see a niffler irl you ask him to transfigure something into a fedora

"A niffler?" *puts on fedora* "PERRY THE NIFFLER?!"

Doing this at least five times, laughing your asses off while everyone around you is very confused

Reading all of the wizard history books

Fred wondering why since he considered that the most boring subject in Hogwarts

"There's an entire book about the vampire mafia, how could I not want to read that?!"

Spending a lot of time in Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes because you love all of the magical stuff your boyfriend and his twin have made

You've actually come up with some ideas for new products, and there is a small area of the shop dedicated to your favorite muggle pranks with a magical twist to them

The invisible whoopie cushions that let out real farts are a top seller

You love the world that Fred is from, and he is more than happy to show you everything about it

[thiswaytwoinfinity]

moonstruck • rhett abbott x fem!reader, perry abbott x fem!reader

I wrote this for @sorchathered’s birthday rom com celebration! Happy Belated Birthday! Thank you for letting me combine two of my favorite things: Lew and ‘Moonstruck’. I know it was your celebration but that was a gift to me 😉

Warnings: alcohol consumption, implied smut, impure thoughts about rhett abbott, being engaged to perry abbott (if you’ve seen the movie, you’ll get it)

Note: I adore this movie with all my heart so I tried to fill this with lots of nods to the iconic moments. But it also means that characters might be a bit less true to their Outer Range selves in order to make the story work.

Maybe it should have been a red flag that you hadn’t met Perry’s brother until after you were engaged.

But then again, the whole thing had been a bit of a whirlwind — and you had met Amy. Sweet, smart, beautiful Amy who had been the main reason you said “yes” when Perry had surprised you with a ring at dinner just a few months into your relationship.

“I can’t imagine anyone who’d be a better stepmother to Amy,” he’d said at the time and how was anyone supposed to say no to that?

And if you were a bit hesitant about the whole thing, your mother had done her best to reassure you over steaming mugs of tea at her weathered kitchen table. “You love his daughter, and that’s the important part,” she had said, rubbing her thumb gently over the back of your hand. “It’s better to be devoted to your family, rather than any man. Especially a cowboy.”

You sighed. “He’s not that kind of cowboy, Mama. He works with his dad on the family ranch.”

“Good,” she responded decisively, standing up to make some more tea. “Cowboys are nothing but heartbreak. They’ll always love the rodeo, the animals, the adventure, the life more than they’ll love you.”

And so that was that. You focused your energy on building a relationship with Amy, got to know Royal and Cecelia and went through the motions of starting to plan a simple, courthouse wedding.

Perry didn’t have strong feelings about the big day, having done the whole song and dance once before, but two weeks into planning, he surprised you with the announcement that he had to go away for a while on business — and he had one big favor to ask. 

“It’s been tearing me up inside,” he said, arm a little too tight around your waist as you sat on the couch, TV on mute in the background. “I just can’t get married without my brother standing up with me.”

“So why not just invite him?”

Perry scoffed. “Rhett is … real fucking stubborn. And he decided a long time ago that he didn’t care about anything I had to say.” He paused, tightening his rip just a fraction before letting you go and dramatically sighing, leaning back into the couch cushions. “But maybe if you were to ask him to come … explain that you want this to mark a fresh new start for all of us, as a family. As Amy’s family. Maybe he’d be willing to listen.”

It was the promise of being Amy’s family, of giving her the happy ending that had seemingly been ripped away from her when her mother disappeared that brought you to the Abbott ranch, eyes squinting against the harsh sunlight as you approached Rhett Abbott to ask for forgiveness on behalf of his brother.

Now this is a cowboy, you thought to yourself as you watched his broad shoulders flex under his tee shirt as he worked on repairing a broken section of fencing. The back of his neck was turning pink and the ends of his hair curled with sweat under his cap, but he seemed unbothered as he continued working, big hands moving quickly and competently.

“Rhett? Rhett Abbott?” you asked, and when he wheeled around and those blue eyes landed on yours, it felt like your heart stopped for a second.

“Can I help ya?” he drawled, pulling his baseball cap off his head and wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of his muscled forearm. He was all golden skin and sharp cheekbones, cheeks flushed pike from the heat and exertion and a smirk that was designed to give women the naughtiest of thoughts.

Stop it. You’re engaged. To his brother. Behave yourself.

You must have taken longer than you realized to reply, because that smirk turned into a grin as Rhett leaned forward and offered out his hand. “Nice to meet you. Now, what can I do for a beautiful woman such as yourself?”

Your face felt like it was on fire as you shook his hand, warm and calloused and completely dwarfing yours. When he didn’t seem to recognize your name after you introduced yourself, you continued, “I’m uh … Perry’s … fiancée, I guess.”

“You’re engaged to Perry?” he asked, arms crossing in front of his chest and you weren’t sure if he was insulting you with his tone of shock.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s pretty recent. The whole thing’s been kind of … fast. But we’re planning the wedding and he wants you to stand there with him, be his best man —“

“And why isn’t he out here askin’ me this?” Rhett interrupted sharply, eyes stormy under the brim of his cap.

“He, um, he’s out of town right now … and anyway he said …” you paused, somehow sensing that the truth — he said you’d be more likely to say ‘yes’ if I asked — wouldn’t go over well. “And well, I wanted to meet you and everything. Get to know the whole family before I become a part of it.”

“Well, we’ve met now. Congratulations on the wedding.”

With that, he turned his back on you, returning to the fence and summarily dismissing you. Once again, you weren’t sure if you should be offended by his actions, but clearly you had accidentally stumbled into some kind of family tension that Perry had not warned you about. 

“So that’s it?” You asked, taking a step closer to him. Rhett grunted as he continued working on the fence. “What, you’re just going to brush off your brother’s request? Shouldn’t a wedding bring family together and not tear them apart?” 

“You don’t know anythin’ about me and Perry,” the cowboy said, his voice cold and his eyes not even looking up for a second.

“So tell me,” you pleaded, making your way closer to him and oh, that might have been a mistake. You could smell him at this distance, the faintest hint of his woodsy body wash, the scent of sun on skin, the tang of sweat.

It almost made you salivate with want — your body had never reacted this way to a man before, and you quickly stepped back and put some space between you two. A safe, platonic distance. “Is … is there something I should know before I marry him? Don’t you think it’s only right that I know the man I’m marrying?”

Finally, Rhett huffed out a sigh and turned around and you were struck again by how blue his eyes were underneath that hint of annoyance.

“Look, you really should be askin’ Perry all this, not me,” he bit out. “I’m not staying here much longer anyway, so you don’t even need to get to know me. You’ll only ever see me at holidays and shit like that.”

“Where are you going?”

“Rodeo circuit,” Rhett responded, a hint of pride in his voice. “Got a spot on a semi-pro tour, so I’ll be on the road soon enough.” 

You congratulated him faintly, images of this gruff, gorgeous man on the back of a bull filling your brain and making you a bit weak in the knees.

“Yeah, so it’s all good. I’ll be outta your way soon enough and you and Perry can have your wedding with no issues,” Rhett concluded.

He started to turn back to his work and you felt a surge of panic run through you, like if you didn’t manage to convince him to stick around right this second, you’d never have the chance again. (And you could unpack why, exactly, it was so vital for you to have your fiancé’s brother around as much as possible later, in the shaming quiet of your bedroom.)

“Well, how about this then,” you start, enjoying the way Rhett’s brows lifted under the brim of his cap, his eyes dancing with a mix of amusement and exasperation. “Spend some time with me and Amy before you go — just to help me get to know her better. I want to build a strong relationship with her, she’s my number one priority in all this. And I know she adores her Uncle Rhett. So maybe you can just … help us bond?”

The cowboy hesitated a moment, his eyes roaming all over your face in a way that made your cheeks heat up. He must have found what he was searching for because he ultimately pulled off his work glove once more and held out a big, calloused hand.

“For Amy,” he said and you felt your face split open with a bright grin.

“For Amy,” you agreed, grasping his hand. And yet, despite the warmth of his hand engulfing yours, despite the fact that you managed to convince him to give you a chance, despite the fact that you should have been pleased with yourself, you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach.

Oh, I’m in trouble.

That sinking feeling only got worse the more time you spent with Rhett, the more you got to feel the full weight of his attention on you, the more you saw the way he lit up around Amy, always willing to go out of his way to make her happy.

Unfortunately for you, what would make her happy right now was to go for a ride with Uncle Rhett and you — a Wyoming native who had, shockingly, never been on the back of a horse before.

“How did you grow up here without ever ridin’ a horse?” Rhett asked you incredulously when you confessed your lack of experience after Amy dragged you to meet him in the stables, all wide, pleading eyes. “It makes no sense.”

You shrug uncomfortably, staring at the horses relaxing in the stables with a critical eye. “My dad was a cowboy but he died when I was little. My mama grew up Cheyenne, so we moved back there for a long time and only came to Wabang when my granddaddy left her the bakery. So I just … never learned.”

You wrapped your arms around your torso as you spoke, curling in on yourself in embarrassment, eyes self-consciously locked on the far wall so you could avoid seeing the judgement on Rhett’s face. It was why you startled slightly when you felt Amy’s little arms hug you out of nowhere, the feeling of her tight squeeze making you let out a deep breath of relief.

“Don’t worry! Uncle Rhett can teach you, he and dad taught me and he’s really good!” she assured you and you laughed softly.

“Thanks, Ames,” you said, softly brushing some of the hair that escaped her braid back from her face. You cast a tentative look up at Rhett, who was smiling softly at you. “Whaddya say, Uncle Rhett? Willing to take on a new student?”

The cowboy said nothing, though his eyes were bright with amusement as he made his way over to one of the stalls to start getting one of the horses ready for you, Amy bounding behind him.

You couldn’t stop smiling as the 9-year-old narrated everything her uncle was doing, beaming brightly when he praised her for remembering certain tidbits that he had shared with her over the years. Her enthusiasm went a long way towards making you more comfortable, as did the teasing words and glances that Rhett shot your way the whole time.

But that smile was wiped right off your face, when he held out his hand and beckoned you over. “C’mere, I’ll help you get into the saddle,” he said softly and you felt all of your blood rush into your face.

“Aren’t there like, stairs or something I could use?” You asked, knowing that the second you put your hand in his, all of the tempting thoughts about him that you’d successfully shoved down would come rushing back into your head. His blue eyes shone as he shook his head, explaining that they put it away somewhere and it would take too long to find right now.

“I won’t let ya fall,” he said, those beautiful eyes locked on yours. “Promise.”

As Amy urged you along from the back of her own horse, you tentatively reached forward and took Rhett’s big hand in yours. It was like you could hear your heart beating in your ears as he tugged you over and instructed you to put one foot in the stirrups and your free hand on the saddle horn.

“I can give you a boost if ya need,” he added, his voice low and grumbly and far, far too close. You must have nodded absently, because the next thing you knew, Rhett placed your second hand on the saddle horn and moved around to lightly grasp your waist.

Your skin burned where you felt those hands on you and even though he kept them in a perfectly respectable place — perfectly polite for someone who was engaged to his brother — you couldn’t help but imagine the heat of them in other, less savory places on your body. The way those calloused palms would feel brushing over your lower back, how his hands would span the entire distance of your neck, how those long fingers would feel filling up your —

“Ready?” he asked, hot breath against the back of your neck.

“I think so,” you responded weakly, and you felt him chuckle. He murmured a low countdown and at the number “three” you hoisted yourself up and swung one leg over to the other side of the saddle, feeling a little lightheaded at his little grunt of effort as he helped lift you up off the ground.

Once you were in and settled, you expected him to back away, but instead, Rhett leaned over your lap to gather up the reins and hand them to you.

“There ya go. You’re a natural,” he said, voice still gritty enough to feel like a gut-punch when it was paired with the heat of his gaze on your face. He was so close and so beautiful and you could catch the faintest whiff of that intoxicating, woodsy scent if you just leaned a little closer —

“Let’s goooooo,” Amy called, wiggling a little impatiently in her saddle and effectively startling your out of our fantasies.

You’ve gotta stop this. You’re engaged, for chrissakes.

“We’re comin’, we’re comin’,” Rhett grumbled, heading over to his own horse and swinging into the saddle with grace. “You gonna be late for some cartoons or somethin’?”

The pair set out, with you slightly behind them, head still swimming with shameful thoughts of your fiancé’s brother and face still burning. It took a while for you to let the pair’s teasing distract you from the feeling of guilt that had made a home in your stomach since the day you met Rhett, but eventually you were able to let go and enjoy your time on the trail.

And if you stared at the ceiling later that night, mind replaying the way Rhett’s eyes darkened and his lips turned up into a little smirk when he helped you down off the horse at the end of your outing, well, nobody needed to know about that.

The air at the rodeo was electric, the excitement infectious and the smell of fried food making everyone salivate as they made their way to the stands. You hadn’t been to the rodeo since high school, more interested in chatting with your friends or trying to spot your crush than in the actual events, but this night was making you regret all of those years you ignored its presence.

It helped that Amy was practically vibrating with excitement, tugging you around by the hand as she babbled on and on about her favorite food stalls and rattling off stats about the various bull riders. Of course, none of them compared to Uncle Rhett in her mind, but her knowledge of the sport was truly impressive.

“— but the bull they gave Uncle Rhett that time was a bad one, everyone knew it, and anyway he got another shot and that time he came in first place because he’s the best —“

“Amy, Amy, slow down,” you chuckled, head spinning as you tried to both keep up with the conversation and keep her from crashing into anyone at the same time.

“Come on, we have to get popcorn before the bull riding starts, I’m always in the stand for Uncle Rhett,” she powered on, not even pausing for a second as she continued on her mission, a crisp five dollar bill in her hand, courtesy of Cecilia. “There! Come on, come on!”

You could feel the heels of your shoes practically skid in the dirt as she took off towards the line and you had to stop short when she finally, abruptly stopped walking to join in. You took a deep breath, relieved to be able to pause for a second and take in the atmosphere, when you hear her shriek beside you.

Your heart stopped for a second as you wheeled around to spot her, only for it to skip a beat for a completely different reason when you realized that Rhett had snuck up behind her.

His grin was blinding as he picked her up and swung her around in a tight circle, her delighted squeals flying through the air. It only got wider and more brilliant when she began playfully hitting his chest after her put her down, and he pretended that her blows were about to knock him down.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist,” he got out between laughs, and you couldn’t stop your own smile from breaking out across your face.

“I almost had a heart attack when she screamed like that,” you admitted and his cobalt eyes moved from Amy to meet yours.

“My apologies, ma’am,” he said with an exaggerated drawl, playfully tipping his cowboy hat at you in mock apology. You had to fight the urge to duck your head as you felt your face heat up at his actions.

What was this effect that he had on you? You had never been the type to giggle and blush at any guy before Rhett, but there was something about him that just made you feel like a teenager with her first crush all over again.

“Apology accepted, cowboy,” you managed to get out and his eyes danced with mischief. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready for your big ride?”

“I was, I just had to come say hi to my favorite lady,” Rhett said, giving a gentle tug to the end of Amy’s ponytail. She looked up at him with a giant smile, clearly pleased to hear that she was her uncle’s “favorite,” and your heart melted at the sight. He gently pushed her along when it was her turn to order popcorn, and you stepped out of the line as she made her way up.

“So, you’re sticking around for my ride?” he asked.

“Of course,” you responded, a little surprised that he thought you weren’t here to watch him alongside his family. “Wouldn’t miss it. I haven’t even been to the rodeo in years, it’s really exciting to know one of the competitors.”

“Well, hopefully I manage to make your return to the rodeo an exciting one,” he said, hands settling on his waist, right next to his big, silver belt buckle.

You were grateful that Amy bounded back over to the two of you then, effectively preventing you from all of the dirty thoughts that you were about to have about what might rest behind that gaudy buckle. Rhett gave his niece another hug — and sent a wink your way that you were definitely not going to spend the night thinking about — before you went your separate ways.

By the time you made it back to the Abbotts in the stands, you were just as excited for Rhett’s ride as Amy was.

Your heart was in your throat for the entirety of the bull riding competition, because of course, Wabang’s hometown hero had to go last. When it was finally his turn, Amy gripped your arm tightly as you both watched, unblinking, for them to open the gate and begin his ride. You weren’t sure you took a single breath for the entirety of his time, those 8 seconds feeling like an eternity as you watched Rhett hold onto that bull for dear life.

When the buzzer finally sounded and he was back on his feet, it was like all of the blood in your body came rushing back into your veins, heartbeat thumping in your ears.

And then, there it was, right at the top of the leaderboard: R. Abbott.

Amy’s excited cheer was more like a shriek as the four of you jumped up and down in the stands, popcorn trampled below your feet as you celebrated with his family. With your new family.

And if you wanted to believe that Rhett was looking at you, in particular, as he pounded his chest with pride, well, you allowed yourself that one, tiny indulgence.

You were still breathless as you made your way out of the stands a little while later, following Royal, Cecelia and Amy as they made their way to find and congratulate Rhett in person. The four of you were almost at the riders’ entrance when you heard someone call your name from the crowd.

“Evening,” Royal said, tipping his hat at Joy Hawk after she managed to get everyone’s attention.

“Hi there Royal, Cecelia,” she said, nodding at them both in turn before turning to Amy. “Hi Amy. How’re you doing, sweetie?”

The 9-year-old excitedly told her all about Rhett’s ride as she smiled and agreed that it had been “one heck of a ride.” After a minute, she turned to you and said you name again. “Could I speak to you for just a moment? One-on-one?”

“O-okay,” you agreed, confused as to what she could possibly want.

After giving you a look that you translated to “we’re here if you need us,” Cecelia explained that they would go and wait for Rhett while you chatted with the deputy sheriff. “I’m sure you’ll just be a moment,” she added, before taking Amy by the hand and leading her away with one last look.

“Is … is everything okay?” you asked tentatively as Joy sighed deeply.

“I would have preferred not to be the one to tell you this, but, well, I can’t seem to get ahold of Perry —“

“He’s out of town,” you said quickly. “Is he okay?”

“Far as I know he is,” she reassured you before taking another deep breath. “I saw you two had filed for a marriage license and well, the thing is, he’s still married. To Rebecca.”

“But she … left. She’s not part of their lives anymore. Not part of Amy’s life,” you said, not quite following what she was telling you.

“Right, right. She’s a missing person. But see, the thing is, as long as she’s a missing person — and we don’t know that she died, god forbid — Perry is still legally married to her. Their marriage is still valid until either they manage to file for divorce or she’s declared … dead.”

“Oh.”

The news hit you like a ton of bricks. What did this mean for you? For your relationship? You had been planning a wedding and this whole time, Perry was still married? So what was the point of all of it?

“Now, you two can still have a wedding, I’m not gonna stop you from that,” Joy continued, her tone soft and comforting. “Y’all just won’t be legally married until this all gets sorted out.”

“And … how long would that take?”

Joy sighed heavily, her hands coming to rest on her hips. “I don’t know. Depends on whether or not Rebecca … comes back.”

You nodded absently, feeling your whole world tilt on its axis. You hadn’t even considered the possibility that Rebecca would be found or return of her own volition. If that happened would you just be pushed out of the family again? Would you still be able to see Amy?

Did that mean that the best case scenario for you was that this precious little girl’s mother was dead? How could you hope for something like that?

“I’m real sorry to break the news to you like this. Like I said, I’ve been trying to get ahold of Perry, but he and I can go over everything when he gets back,” the deputy sheriff said, patting you kindly on the arm.

You murmured your thanks before spinning around and making your way over to the Abbotts, head still swimming with questions.

By the time you made it there, they were chatting with a grinning Rhett, who was carrying Amy on his back. His smile faltered when he saw you and the dazed look on your face and you did your best to paste on a smile of your own. It must not have been totally convincing, though, because he let his niece slide down off his back as Royal and Cecelia exchanged looks.

“You look like you could use a drink,” Rhett said, his blunt words making you huff out a laugh. “I’m going to celebrate at the Handsome Gambler — come with me.”

The last thing you needed to do was be alone with Rhett Abbott, especially if alcohol was involved. But the world had just thrown a huge wrench in your plans, so you weren’t even thinking about it being a bad idea when you agreed.

“You ready to tell me what’s got you so spooked?” Rhett asked, leaning across the table so you could hear him over the music. You were both a few beers in — though Rhett had also enjoyed a handful of celebratory tequila shots that some of the locals had bought for him — and his cheeks were flushed pink from laughter and booze.

You contemplated telling him for a second, letting all of your frustrations and anxieties spill out (it turns out that Perry is still legally married so this whole engagement is more of a farce than it seems and if she comes back she’s probably not going to let me see Amy which is the main reason I said yes in the first place) before you remembered that he and Perry still had a complicated relationship.

As torn up as you were, you didn’t want to do anything to damage that bond even more.

“It’s nothing,” you said, shaking your head and taking a swig of your beer as if you swallow your words back down. “Anyway, we’re not done talking about that amazing ride of yours, cowboy.”

You attempt at distraction clearly didn’t work; Rhett just leaned further across the table, those damn blue eyes roaming all over your face.

“Somethin’s clearly up. Is it Perry’s fault?”

“Why do you assume it’s something Perry did?” you fire back, less out of a need to protect your fiancé’s feelings than to try and get Rhett off the track.

“Perry’s always doing something,” he replied, shaking his head. He stared hard at you for a moment longer, setting off a wave of butterflies in your gut, before grinning and sitting back down in the booth. “Okay, clearly we need another beer and then you’ll talk.”

“Rhett —“ you began, but you cut yourself off with a laugh as you watched him make a goofy, exaggerated motion to the bar’s sole waitress. “You think you can just get me drunk and I’ll spill all my secrets?”

“Oh, so you have secrets, do you?” He asked, raising one eyebrow in mocking curiosity. “Tell me a secret.”

“No,” you responded, but you were laughing still. “You don’t get to demand a secret.”

“What if I’m just so charming you can’t help but tell me?” You snorted and took a sip of your beer to cover up the fact that you did, in fact, find him charming. “Here, I’ll make you a deal: I’ll tell you a secret if you tell me one. Something you’ve never told anyone else,” he said, smiling slyly at you.

I like you so much. I can’t stop thinking about you. It makes me feel so guilty.

The words came to your brain before you could stop them. You definitely weren’t going to say them out loud — you weren’t sure you had even admitted them to yourself before this moment. But you knew, deep in your gut, that they were true.

That realization was almost more shocking than learning that your fiancé was still legally married.

“I gotta —“ you began, jumping up from the table and almost bumping into the waitress as she dropped off two new beers. “Bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

You rushed off before Rhett could stop you, weaving your way through the crowd at the bar and a few dancing couples before you found the blissfully empty bathroom. After locking the door behind you, you landed against the sink, taking a few deep, steadying breaths as the bass from the music echoed through the wall. You stared at yourself in the mirror, a long, hard look.

I like him.

I like Rhett.

I have feelings for him.

He’s my fiancé’s brother.

I’m crazy about him.

You shook your head, as if you cast those thoughts out of your brain. “Snap out of it,” you muttered to yourself. “You gotta snap out of it.”

Frantically, you turned on the water, yanking the faucet all the way to cold and ran your wrists under the stream of freezing water in an attempt to shock your system. You let out a long, slow exhale, allowing the cold to bring you back to yourself.

You’d just go back to the table, tell Rhett that you were tired and go home. Perry would be home in a couple of days and you could put the whole thing out of your mind and just focus on him and Amy. And then Rhett would be on the road soon.

Ignoring the small pang of of sadness that passed through you at the thought, you turned off the faucet and dried off your hands. Taking a moment to swipe away any mascara that had smudged under your eyes, you braced yourself and exited the bathroom determined to stay as far away from Rhett as possible.

So naturally, you barreled right into him as you turned the corner to make your way back to the table.

“Hey, hey, sorry about that,” he said, big, rough hands holding you steady. “I didn’t mean to walk right into ya, I was just coming to see if you were okay. You took off kinda quick.”

Did he know his thumbs were gently rubbing against the bare skin of your forearms? Because you did. It was all you could think about.

“I- I’m fine. Thank you,” you said, and even though you knew you should pull away from him, you made no move to do so. “Just needed some quiet for a second.”

“Alright, as long as you’re okay,” he said, giving your arms a brief squeeze before letting go. You immediately missed the warmth of his hands on your skin. “You thinkin’ ya wanna head out?”

You nodded absently and he smiled before turning around to lead you out the door. Just as you started to take a few steps, though, the song changed, an old Linda Ronstadt song that your mother used to sing along to as you both cleaned the house on a Sunday morning.

“Oh, I love this song,” you said, not realizing it was loud enough for Rhett to hear until he turned around with a smile.

“Yeah? I think my mama used to play this one in the truck sometimes,” he said, before taking a step back and holding a hand out toward you. “Dance with me? Just for this one song and then we can go. Seems a shame not to since you love it so much.”

You couldn’t resist. His eyes were shining too brightly, his smile revealing small little dimples that you had never noticed before, Linda’s voice calling for you to spin away on the dance floor. You took Rhett’s outstretched hand and his smile widened, brilliant and completely intoxicating.

The pair of you kept a respectful distance even as he spun you around, though he kept your hand in his the whole time. He laughed as you sang along to the song and then the next one and the next.

You lost track of how long the two of you had been dancing until he tugged you a little closer when a ballad came on, Hank Williams crooning low and slow as you breathlessly wrapped one arm around his shoulders.

Your actions seemed to embolden Rhett, who dropped a hand to your waist and pulled you in even more.

You could see every freckle on his face, every shade of blue in his eyes, how the pupils dilated as the two of you swayed together, lost in the moment. You licked you lips unconsciously and you watched his gaze dart down to your mouth before he purposefully looked back up, into your eyes.

“I like having you ‘round, you know?” he murmured and your heart began pounding erratically. “You make things brighter. And I like seein’ Amy so happy.”

“I like being around you, too. All of you,” you said, feeling a little dizzy as his words echoed around your brain. “Feels like I … fit. I’m not used to that feeling.”

Rhett smiled at that, so you continued. “And I don’t think I’ve laughed this much in a long time. With Amy, with you …”

“Happy to be of service,” he chucked. “You have a great smile. Real pretty."

Your face felt so warm, it had to be obvious to everyone in this bar just how much this cowboy was making you melt. “You’re not too bad yourself, Rhett Abbott.”

He dropped your hand for a second to tilt his cowboy hat up so you could see his face more clearly, before sliding it back around you, warm and possessive against your lower back.

“It’s a real shame Perry met you before I did,” he murmured. “Kinda wish it was the other way ‘round.”

Oh.

Oh, no. That was the wrong thing for him to say to you. This was only going to make your little crush on him worse. Because sometimes you felt the exact same way.

Because sometimes as you drifted off to sleep, you imagined what would have happened if you did meet Rhett first, if you were engaged to him instead of his brother.

Your shock — and maybe guilt — must have shown on your face because Rhett quickly let go of you and stepped back.

“Sorry. I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have said that,” he said quickly. “I’ve been drinking — let’s just blame it on the tequila, okay? I say dumb shit when I’m drunk.”

“It’s fine, it’s okay,” you reassured him. “We’ve both been drinking. It’s fine.”

“Lemme — we can just head home, okay? We’ll just get out of here and forget about it,” he continued, already making his way back to the entrance.

But you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to forget it, even if you wanted to. The low, soft way he spoke, the way his eyes were locked on your face, the shape his lips made as he said it. I wish it was the other way ‘round.

It was everything you wanted to hear. It was the absolute worst thing he could have said.

You kept your distance from the Abbott ranch in the days after the rodeo, buried in work, in cleaning your little apartment, in helping your mother around her house, at the bakery, anything to keep yourself from thinking about Rhett’s words.

By the time Perry was home from his trip, the guilt was eating you up inside.

You couldn’t even bring yourself to be excited as you drove over to meet him and Amy for dinner, stomach churning with doubt and confusion and guilt. How could you sit down with this man — this man that you were engaged to for chrissakes — when you couldn’t stop thinking about his brother? How could you pretend that you were a happy family when you wanted to play house with Rhett instead?

Your thoughts were swirling like the dust under your tires as you pulled up to the Abbott ranch to see Perry sitting on the porch. He smiled an waved as you parked the car and pulled you into a hug as you stepped up to meet him.

“How was your trip?” You asked, swallowing around the lump in your throat.

“It was … good. Yeah, it was good. I needed it,” he said.

“Your … business trip?”

He shrugged a little sheepishly, before gesturing to the rocking chairs on the porch. “Yeah. Yeah, lemme — let’s talk for a second.”

He knows. Rhett told him.

Fighting the urge to puke over the porch railing, you gingerly sat down next to Perry, who pulled your hand in his and absentmindedly rubbed his thumb along the back of it as it spoke. You didn’t want to admit it, but it felt wrong when he did it, as opposed to the thrill that ran through you when Rhett touched you.

“Is everything okay, Perry?” you asked softly.

“Yeah, yeah. Look, I should — I wasn’t totally honest with you before I left. I didn’t go on a business trip. I went to … well, I went to try and find Rebecca one last time.” He grimaced slightly as you gasped softly. This was not what you expected when he asked you to talk. “I couldn’t stop thinking of this one place we used to go before Amy was born, this little hiking trail out east. We’d stay in these cabins for the weekend, just the two of us.”

“Oh…kay?” you said, confusion evident in your voice and on your face. Perry took a deep breath, and when he let it out he looked … tired. A little defeated, a little sad.

“She wasn’t there, obviously. But when I was there I realized … I realized I’m never going to stop waiting for her to come home,” he said, the last bit coming out in a rush. “I’m not over her. I thought I was ready to move on, move forward, for Amy’s sake but I just … I’m not there.”

Though he hadn’t made eye contact with you the whole time he was speaking, he gave your hand a gentle squeeze and turned to look you in the eye. You could see the discomfort, the heartbreak swirling in his eyes. “It’s not fair to you. To be married to someone who’s always going to be waiting for someone else. And then when Deputy Sheriff Hawk called me —“

“To tell you about the license?” You asked and he nodded, looking uncomfortable.

“I promise, I didn’t know about it before then. It didn’t even occur to me that Rebecca would have to be … well, you know, before our marriage would be dissolved. I wouldn’t have proposed if I knew. Hell, I wouldn’t have even asked you out that first time.”

Perry sighed again, before continuing, “It just made me realize that I’m still married to her in my heart as well. And I just can’t do that to you. I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

You nodded absently, letting his words wash over you. “What about Amy, though? She and I have gotten so close —“

“You can still see Amy! Of course you can, she adores you. And I know how much you care about her,” he reassured you.

You felt a rush of relief. Amy was the reason you said yes to his proposal in the first place; it was almost as if the knowledge that you could still spend time with this brilliant, special little girl that you had come to consider family had outweighed any potential heartbreak from Perry ending the engagement.

But then again, maybe ending the engagement was exactly what you had been hoping for since the moment you laid eyes on Rhett.

You have to tell him. It’s only fair.

“I understand, Perry,” you said and you could see the relief visibly wash over him. “I do, I completely understand. Thank you for being honest with me.”

Before he could speak, you continued, wanting to rush the words out as quickly as possible, “I guess … I guess if I’m going to be honest with you too, I’ve been having second thoughts myself. I … I started to have feelings. For someone else. And I felt terrible about it, the guilt has been eating me up.”

Perry swallowed hard. “Did you — while I was away did anything —“

“No!” you rushed to explain. “No, nothing happened. I didn’t do anything with anyone else I just … just having feelings for someone else made me feel guilty enough. I couldn’t do that to you. But I think it’s clear we’re just … not ‘the one’ for each other.”

He surprised you by standing up abruptly and pulling you to your feet as well, before giving you a tight hug. It felt good, like a fitting end to your amicable relationship to part ways amicably.

Of course things got a little less amicable later that evening when, after you handed back the ring and enjoyed a pleasant dinner, you both sat down with Amy to break the news. She seemed a little confused at first, but brightened when she learned that you would still be around for her.

“Okay,” she said after a minute, when you had explained the situation as best as you could to the 9-year-old. “That’s okay. You can date Uncle Rhett instead! I think he likes you.”

Perry’s face turned a bright shade of red. “What?!”

Despite Amy’s permission, you didn’t start dating Rhett after that.

In fact, you were continuing to avoid him, maybe out of lingering guilt or maybe out of a fear that he didn’t actually mean those words he said that night at the Handsome Gambler.

It had been nearly two weeks since you had laid eyes on that handsome cowboy when you suddenly had a knock on your door on a late, sunny Sunday morning. You turned down the music you had been playing while you cleaned — Linda Ronstadt, of course — and opened the door, only to come face to face with the man you had been trying you best not to think about.

“Hi,” Rhett said, a little shy as he ran his fingers nervously through his hair. You could see his ball cap tucked into one of his back pockets and a small bouquet of wildflowers in his other hands and butterflies erupted in your stomach at the sweet, gentlemanly gestures.

“Hi,” you responded, a smile growing across your face before you could contain it. “It’s good to see you, Rhett. Do you … do you wanna come in?” He grinned at your words; clearly he was a little nervous that you wouldn’t be as excited to see him on your doorstep as you hoped.

He pressed the flowers into your hands as he made his way into your apartment, his big hands wrapping around yours and his shoulders taking up almost the entire doorway. After you closed the door and turned to face him, you both stood there, smiling a little giddily at one another, though neither of you moved. The tension was broken when you both tried to speak at the same time, tripping over your words as you both tried to break the awkward silence.

Laughing, you gently placed the flowers down on your coffee table and took a step closer to Rhett. His big blue eyes were fixed on your face, bright and shining and hopeful. You gestured towards your couch, silently inviting him to make himself at home, but he just ran his hands through his hair again and continued standing.

“I know it hasn’t been very long since you and Perry … ended things,” he began and your stomach swooped like you were on a roller coaster. “But well, I talked to him a bit, and he’s not the biggest fan of the idea, but I think he’ll come around and … listen. What I’m trying to say. Can I take you to dinner?”

“What?” You asked, a little incredulous that Rhett Abbott, the guys of your dreams, was standing in your living room and asking you on a date.

“Let me take you to dinner. I can’t — I can’t stop thinking about you. I’m crazy about ya,” he said, grinning as he watched a small smile break out across your face. “We can take it slow if you want but I just — I meant what I said. I wish I had met you before Perry. That I had a chance to ask you out first. But asking you out now is the next best thing.”

“I’d love to go to dinner with you, Rhett,” you said softly, smile growing bigger and brighter as you watched his eyes light up with excitement.

“Yeah?” he asked, hopeful and puppy-like.

“Yeah,” you breathed, taking a step closer to him and breathing in the scent of his body wash, taking in the freckles across his nose and the dimples hiding next to his smile. “I’m crazy about you too. You remember when you asked me to tell you a secret?”

He nodded, one gorgeous, beefy forearm wrapping around your waist and tugging you even closer.

“That was my secret. That I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” you ran your hands up Rhett’s broad chest, feeling the muscles that lay under his soft tee shirt. “I still can’t stop thinking about you. I … I’ve never felt like this before, about anyone. Just you.”

Rhett didn’t respond. Instead, he held you close, slid his free hand up to cup your face and kissed you. And you there your arms around his neck and kissed him back.

It was like every moment, every bump in the road, every teasing glance, every little joke, every whispered confession was leading to this kiss. Rhett held you like you were precious and kissed you like it was the last time he’d ever get to do so.

But it wasn’t the last time. It was far, far from the last time if you had anything to say about it.

You felt his tongue brush against your lips and you opened your mouth to let him in, head swimming as he gripped you tighter, breathed a little heavier, kissed you a little dirtier. A little more passionate, a little more intense — a little more like you had dreamed about all those late nights when you were still pretending that your feelings for him didn’t exist.

After he pulled away, chuckling softly as your lips chased his for a moment, Rhett rubbed his thumb against your cheek, sparking a wave of goosebumps down your arms. He grinned, panting a little, those blue eyes bright and staring right back at you in adoration.

“Wait a second,” you said, a little breathlessly as one more thought occurred to you. “Aren’t you leaving soon? You have a spot on a tour.”

Rhett shrugged like it was no big deal, but a feeling almost like panic was starting to grip you. “I have a couple of weeks. We can see where this goes and maybe if you want … you could come with me?” he asked tentatively.

You didn’t respond; you just pulled him back in for another heart stopping, mind melting kiss.

Much later — after the hours of kissing in your living room, after a first date where you spent so long talking and laughing at the diner that you were practically chased out by the staff, after a night of stargazing in the back of his truck, after those blissful first weeks of a relationship, a month of painful long distance and three more of you joining him on the road, after you both settled back in Wabang with another tour on the horizon, after Perry finally came around to the idea of you two being together — you sat in your mother’s kitchen with Rhett by your side and his grandmother’s engagement ring on your finger.

She had just broken out the old bottle of whiskey she kept on top of the fridge for special occasions, when she asked you the same question she had asked a little over a year prior, when you were talking about your engagement to Perry.

“Baby, do you love him?”

You looked at Rhett, took in his beautiful face, his beaming smile, his hair, a little mussed up because he couldn’t stop running his hands through it on your way over here, and the way those blue eyes always made you feel like the most beautiful woman on earth.

“Yes, mama. I love him awful.”

.

.

[nobodyfamousposts]

How would Littlebug react to characters like Doofenshmirtz? Or Jack Fenton?

(In Doofenschmirtz's living room...)

(Doofenschmirtz and Littlebug are having tea.)

Doofenschmirtz: …all that to say, I am kind of off the market for an arch nemesis, though I do appreciate the offer! But I promised Perry the Platypus that I wouldn't take on another arch nemesis and then I promised my daughter, Vanessa, that I would stop my acts of villainy after she made me see that it wasn't actually healthy or what I really wanted in life. And now I'm helping out at OWCA, supporting my daughter, and sharing my non-evil inventions meant to help the world instead of trying to settle petty grudges. So I am sorry, but I hope we can still be occasional rivals or maybe allies?

Littlebug: (Confused)

Littlebug: (Looks down at List)

Littlebug: (Looks up at Doofenschmirtz and points to name on the List)

Doofenschmirtz: (Looks at the name) Oh! I see where the mixup is! I'm Dr. Doofenschmirtz! Mr. Doofenschmirtz is actually my father!

Littlebug: (Tilts head)

Doofenschmirtz: Well you see, a lot of my villainy has been related to my backstory…backstories. You see, back when I was…

(15 Minutes later.)

Doofenschmirtz: (Still going)

Littlebug: (Eye twitching)

Doofenschmirtz: And then there was the time I was shamed for not jumping off the high diving board and—wait, where are you going?

Littlebug: (Leaves)

Doofenschmirtz: Okay! Well feel free to drop by again sometime! What a strange girl.

(Suddenly, Perry the Platypus bursts in.)

Doofenschmirtz: Perry the Platypus! I'm not evil anymore! What are you doing coming in through my window?

Perry: (Chitters and pulls up a screen showing Littlebug)

Doffenschmirtz: Oh, the little living doll thing. Yes, she just left.

Perry: (Looks around warily and chitters)

Doof: What? No! She was perfectly nice!

Perry: (Gestures to Doof)

Doof: Oh, it turned out she actually wasn't looking for me, she was looking for my father.

Perry: (Worried)

Doof: What? What harm could she do?

TV Announcer: This just in! An attack in Gimmelshtump as an elderly citizen is being dangled from a rope off the condemned diving board at the old community pool.

Doof: (Eyes widen) …oh.

-----------------------

(In another universe, in the Fenton household...)

Jack: (Going to the kitchen when he sees a piece of fudge on the floor) Floor fudge!

(As he picks up the fudge, he notices another piece on the floor and proceeds to pick that up as well.)

(Then he notices another piece.)

(And another.)

(He follows the trail of fudge all the way into the basement and leading to the Fenton Stockades.)

Jack: And that's the last piece! (Picks up the piece inside the Fenton Stockades)

(The door slams shut on him, trapping him in the Fenton Stockades.)

Jack: HEY! Who's there?! Let me out!

Littlebug: (Nods resolutely and marks Jack Fenton's name off The List and starts to leave the Lab)

Voice: Ahem?

Littlebug: (Turns)

(Danny is standing there.)

Danny: You're not another ghost sent by Vlad to kill my dad, are you?

Littlebug: (Shakes her head and shows him her Bad Dad List)

Danny: Why is my dad on this list?!

Littlebug: (Gestures to the Fenton Stockades with a flat look)

Danny: Okay, I know that looks bad. But he's a good dad, really!

Littlebug: (Frown)

Danny: Look, I know he's fought me, but that's only because he doesn't know I'm half-ghost. And the times he found out, he was pretty supportive. I mean, there were situations going on at the time, so we didn't really get to talk it out, but he still seemed to care about me. Even in an alternate reality where I accidentally erased my existence.

Littlebug: (Uncertain)

Danny: If you want to look for bad dads, you should see Vlad Masters. He keeps wanting to kill my dad, marry my mom, and make me his son like some sort of twisted setup of Hamlet.

Littlebug: (Eyes widen)

Danny: So yeah, there are already enough plots against my dad, so I'd really appreciate if you—wait, where are you going?

Littlebug: (Holds up The List, now with Jack Fenton scribbled out and "Vlad Masters" written in on it)

Danny: ....you know what? Have fun.

(They leave.)

...

...

Jack: Hello? Anyone?

[g1rld1ary]

masterlist 🦢🎀 𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒ 🎀🦢

anthony lockwood ✩

➻ sharing's caring

you meet lockwood at arif's and bond over your love of scones

➻ come home with me

your bus breaks down in the middle of the night and lockwood might just be your knight in shining armour

➻ bloody genius

after a long night of researching cases with lockwood, you do something you don't quite mean to

➻ jealousy jealousy (part two)

you and lockwood bond when you're his favourite waitress at arif's. maybe all that's needed to prompt a confession is good old-fashioned jealousy

➻ secret admirer

you've got a secret admirer ahead of valentine's day who seems intent on spoiling you

➻ to build a home

you're the only employee at lockwood & co who doesn't live at portland row, but you're beginning to think you should

➻ just blurry

lockwood rambles a lot when he's drunk and you fall victim to it

➻ what once was

you and lockwood hate each other -- you have since you were young. but when your teams have to work together, deeper feelings come to light

➻ ode to my family

(relicman!reader) lockwood tries to stop you from stealing sources for your family's business, he's quite persuasive

➻ opening doors

you're lockwood's secret girlfriend, but when he hasn't called you after a case, you have to go find him and reveal your private relationship

remus lupin ✩

➻ kiss me on the dance floor

you and remus keep meeting in the bathroom at parties whilst holding your friend's hair back

➻ the way i see you

you're an artist and you wish your best friend could see himself the way you see him, but you endeavour to try

sirius black ✩

➻ tell me when you're sober

sirius calls you drunk at a house party and confesses something he probably shouldn't

➻ red carpets

both actors in different projects, you see sirius on the red carpet of an awards show and think he's gorgeous

james potter ✩

➻ 5 people james potter didn't mean to kiss (and one he did)

title says it all -- james potter is a very affectionate person

➻ lifeguard!james 2 3 4 5

➻ a little man power

neighbour!james meets you as you're moving into the building

➻ overheard that she was nineteen

you're sad on your 19th birthday but james is there to make you feel better

➻ summer friends

you and james both get made head counselors at your summer camp but bump heads a few times in the process

luke castellan ✩

➻ you never disappointed me

two three four five

10 things i hate about you!AU, luke gets paid to take you out so beckendorf can have his chance with silena

➻ unlucky

when clarisse can't drive you to your exam anymore, luke steps in as a favour and happens to be able to help your anxiety

luke patterson ✩

➻ new release

you find out luke is your neighbour only after blasting his new album all day, but he doesn't seem to mind

➻ sick days

you're not feeling well, but luke is here to look after you

spencer reid ✩

➻ sex on the beach

chilli margaritas

you're a bartender at the bar the bau frequent and you can tell spencer doesn't like his beer.

elle greenaway ✩

➻ do i make you nervous?

the woman taking your witness statement is stunning and it makes you nervous

monty the crow ✩

➻ boys r dumb

you find monty after edwin rejects him (platonic)

trevor spengler ✩

➻ lamest place in the world

you meet trevor and have a fun night together in an otherwise boring small town

neil perry ✩

➻ love's light wings

you meet neil at a party and accidentally recreate romeo and juliet's balcony scene

[gayfandomnerd225]

Pt. 10 of Dead Poets Society Headcanons

Their Childhood

Suggested by @angstyteenpoems

Neil

Neil’s parents never cared much for Neil, if anything his parents viewed him more as a nuisance

His dad was emotionally unavailable and his mom wasn’t much better

He read a lot of books and played with toys to entertain himself

But his dad made him stop early on, saying playing was childish (no shit, he was child)

His mom always made sure he dressed nicely, especially for church on Sunday, every Sunday

Todd

Everything Todd owned was hand-me-downs from Jeff. He didn’t mind. He was pretty convinced if he didn’t get hand-me-downs, he wouldn’t have gotten anything

Even as a child, Todd knew his parents preferred Jeff

Because of this, Todd and Jeff’s relationship is essentially non-existent

Jeff feels sort of bad about it, but he’s not sure what to do about it

Often, Todd was left alone at home, even while young, because his parents would take Jeff somewhere and just, forget about Todd

Charlie

Charlie got anything he wanted from his parents

He knew what to say to get what he wanted

His mom always made sure his clothes were placed on his bed in the morning before school (before Welton, of course)

When Charlie moved to Welton, he was going to miss his mom, and all the things she did

She would bake cookies and let Charlie help her sometimes (hence love of baking from a previous part)

His dad was a workaholic, and was never around much

When he was home, he was usually complaining about work

Charlie has a sister, and they’re quite close

They send each other letters when Charlie’s at Welton, and hang out together when he’s home for summer and sometimes Christmas

Knox

Knox had a pretty good childhood

He wasn’t put into Welton until around the end of middle school, so he was home for a while

He had friends and stayed up late and had sleepovers

His mom loved him and made him tasty homemade suppers

His dad was busy a lot because he was a lawyer

He’d often come home angry, his mom would give his dad a few drinks and then he’d calm down

Knox didn’t know things between his mom and dad were bad, he didn’t see the bruises on his mom and she never told him about them

One of the reasons he ended up going to Welton was because his parents didn’t want him witnessing their fights

Meeks

Meeks was a nerdy kid, he didn’t have many friends until Welton

He spent recesses inside (if he was lucky), reading a book

He’d finish assignments quickly and read while he waited

Both his parents worked, which was uncommon for Vermont in the 50s, but that was how they afforded Welton

Meeks’ dad had high expectations for him

Expected Meeks to be better than he was, but was never as bad as some of the others dads (*cough cough* Mr Perry)

Meeks’ mom wasn’t home much, but when she was, she loved Meeks and took care of him

Pitts

Pitts has siblings

He never talks about them because he doesn’t know them very well

They’re several years younger than him, having not been born until after he came to Welton

His parents pay more attention to his siblings, which he understands, they’re young, but still

When he was home his parents didn’t care much about him

He mostly took care of himself

Making himself lunches and suppers when his parents were home late

He’d tuck himself in and then later wake up when his parents would loudly come home, not realizing he was asleep

Cameron

Cameron was a teachers pet

He didn’t mean to be, he just didn’t get along with kids his own age for a long time

He’d come home from school and read books, then wait until his mom made dinner and then eat. Then he’d go back to his books

His mom was big into gardening and would often talk to him about it

So, although he’d never tell the Poets, he has a green thumb and quite likes gardening and knows a lot about flowers

His dad wasn’t home much. But he wasn’t a workaholic like the other dads, he had to work a lot to make money for Cameron to go to Welton

Which is why he tried so hard not to fuck up his time there

(I think I just have all the Poets daddy issues?)

[rinskazuu]

genshin men as songs in my playlist

aether, albebo, al-haitham, itto, cyno, diluc, kazuha, kaeya, ayato, heizou, childe, thoma, tighnari, scaramouche, xiao, and zhongli

these are written romantically, but if you want to view them as platonic, you can try.

cw: angst w no comfort, fluff, varies depending on character and song i chose. some of these are written in first person, some in x reader form, you can view them however you like!

a/n: initially, i was going for songs fitting their personality, but i accidentally made kaeya and childe's angsty, so i remade them. also, this took so long, for absolutely no reason.

AETHER- hold on by flor

throughout the journey aether's been on in teyvat, all he does is help nations, people, archons, you name it. but i want to be his escape, someone he can hold and be comfortable with. for a moment, i want him to worry less about what's going on outside, and just close his eyes. he's so selfless, and i believe he deserves the same treatment in return.

♡

ALBEDO- something about you by eyedress

you’re just so mesmerizing and beautiful to albedo, that he can’t help but feel subjected to paint you. you’re always catching his breath, from the way your eyes glint when you’re talking about your interests, to the way your body sways when he accidentally catches you dancing in your room, while he’d been busy with his experiments. he just cannot keep his eyes off you.

♡

AL-HAITHAM- out of time by the weeknd

al-haitham would most definitely let his pride get in the way of your relationship. he’d also prioritize his dying love for knowledge over you. the moment you leave him, and he finds his closet half empty, he’s drowning in guilt. he’s reaching for you, but you’ve moved on, and now it’s too late for him to hold you again.

♡

ARATAKI ITTO- always forever by cults

itto is the type of man to boast about you to everyone, having never said anything negative about you. he’s the type of man to snuggle you, and tell you every night how grateful he is, and how happy you make him. he’s going to tell you, that from here on out, you’re stuck with him, and that you’re two peas in a pod.

♡

CYNO- the one that got away by katy perry

cyno isn’t as much of a tsundere as the fandom writes him out to be, so this doesn’t sound fitting. but i feel like his role as the general mahamatra would definitely play a bad part in your relationship. he’d be too busy to take you on a date, or too tired to accompany you to an event. it’s not until you’ve left, that he’s realized he’s neglected you for too long.

♡

DILUC- be kind by halsey

with diluc, i imagine wanting to take his burdens off his shoulders, and comfort him, reassure him. i want him to rely on me, and be comfortable enough to come to me to talk. it makes me sad, how isolated he is, or rather, how he felt the need to isolate himself.

♡

KAEDAHARA KAZUHA- old love by yuji & putri dahlia

not only does the melody suit kazuha, but so do the lyrics. there's not a lot that kazuha holds dear, simply because he wanders a lot. he moves from place to place, and you're one of the only stable aspects of his life. he will always return home, to see you.

♡

KAEYA- midnight rain by taylor swift

i feel like kaeya would suit taylor’s perspective in the song. you wanting to settle down, but kaeya can’t love you for too long, because he's holding a major secret that is threatening yours and potentially teyvat's safety. you’re the sunshine, and he’s the midnight rain. he’ll have to leave you soon, but for now, he’ll let you hold him.

♡

KAMISATO AYATO- still with you by jungkook

ayato is not only head of the kamisato clan, but he’s a commissioner too. he’s used to running things mostly by himself, because he had to take care of his little sister alone, and rebuild the kamisato clan from the floor. he’s often isolated, completing work, but at the end of each day, i want to remind him, that we are in fact together, and any challenges he faces, are mine to struggle with too.

♡

SHIKANOIN HEIZOU- enchanted by taylor swift

heizou is a man who can easily sweep you off your feet, with his charm, pretty smile, and his skills as a detective. he can read your feelings and the type of person you are. he knows exactly what to do to reel you in. your love is enchanting, so unique, and will last for an entire lifetime, if not more.

♡

TARTAGLIA- save your tears by the weeknd & ariana grande

i know we kind of ignore how unhinged childe is, but i want to acknowledge it. he doesn’t know how to love or be loved, which leads to him not knowing how to comfort you. he’s going to hurt you, mentally/verbally, often. he’s going to tell you to stop crying, instead of holding you, or call you dramatic, instead of snuggling you in bed and encouraging you.

♡

THOMA- i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys

thoma is often busy, since he works for a commissioner, and one of the most well known and respected clans in inazuma. he sees you a lot, whether it's running errands, or accompanying one of the kamisatos somewhere. he's in love with you, and he'd do anything for you. but for now, he needs to focus on his duties.

♡

TIGHNARI- sweet by cigarettes after sex

even though he's a busy man, tighnari still makes plenty of time for you. he's sweet and smooth with his swords, easily swaying you. he makes it known, to not just you, that he loves you to the ends of the world. he knows how to make you swoon, from taking days off to pick flowers for you, to having deep talks with you in the shower. he's always thinking about you, even picturing your smile while he's off gathering gifts for you.

♡

WANDERER- space song by beach house

after regaining his memories, and even after his redemption arc, scara will still have major trust issues. wanting to there for him isn't a crime. but because of his trauma, he's going to keep pulling away from you, and pushing you farther from him. no matter, you're not going to give up, and you want him to feel loved and comforted.

♡

XIAO- be there for you by nct dream

xiao is one of the most obvious characters with a traumatic backstory, and i believe i want to be there for him the most. it's not going to be easy, since he's lived 1000+ years. he's used to being on his own, and all he knows is how to protect, and kill. but for once, i want him to rely on me, and for him to breathe a sigh of relief.

♡

ZHONGLI- wildest dreams by taylor swift

as an archon, zhongli has been alive for over 6000 years. even though he's given up the title, and is now living a normal life, he will always remain an immortal. eventually, you will pass on, and zhongli will be alone again. regardless, he's going to spend every waking moment with you, until your very last breath. he will cherish your love for the rest of eternity, even if you're not physically there.

i do want to add, i have so many taylor swift, the weeknd & chase atlantic songs, but didn’t think the last 2 would be as fitting as taylor’s. i have 150 songs & this does not define my entire playlist, there are so many genres. i just happened to make them romantic/angsty..

[bookofmirth]

Did you like cc3 or love? Neither?

oh hello, why don't you pull up a chair because I have finished this book and I have Thoughts. I was thinking for a good chunk of this book that I would give it 2 stars. I still might. It depends on how it sits with me over the next couple of weeks. I ended up giving it 3 because I did enjoy some parts.

I will start with the more positive thoughts.

I am glad that the crossover was limited. One of my fears was that the series be unavoidably intertwined from here on out, so that pleases me.

I really did like seeing how Nesta has grown, her friendship with Azriel, and seeing more interesting things with his powers! That was really neat.

I did laugh out loud a couple of times, at points where I was supposed to laugh out loud. I think Tharion is dumb as hell but he made me chuckle.

The scene with Ithan and Sabine towards the end was good, I was like Gordon Ramsay, finally, some delicious fucking consequences.

Ummm... I like Ruhn and Lidia still. They had some silly moments, but overall they are the only characters in this book that I still have a shred of respect for. Maybe Perry and Sathia. Everyone else is on thin fucking ice.

Shout out to the one (1) line Bryce said that I liked: “I’m sick and tired of people using 'girl' as an insult.”

Unfortunately, the list of things I didn't like is far longer. I'm actually going to put it under the cut if people don't want their enjoyment spoiled or simply don't care.

In my opinion, sjm is a good storyteller, and an okay writer. This book really, really highlighted that for me. The plotting was a mess, I was constantly going back a page because I was confused about what was going on, there were weird inconsistencies that only made sense if you stepped back from the book and thought "well, the author needed that to happen, I guess."

There were some typos and word choice errors that should have been caught - "every muscle in Bryce's body went taught" and then a missing quotation mark (But it was Aidas who answered, pride flaring on his face. Apollion slew her with his Helfire when she attacked him—he pulled her burning heart from her chest and ate it.”). Not to mention the 255 "could have sworns" and 50-something "as if". I noticed a few similar phrases to this. If I'm feeling spicy one day maybe I will go back and find them.

The number of times she says "by whatever power" or "somehow" in a book where she has spent a lot of time explaining the power, and we should know what the "somehow" is???

Who in the ever loving fuck thinks that splitting up two tense scenes by cutting them into bite sized pieces and then interspersing them together is a good idea???

There were multiple times when I laughed out loud at scenes that were not meant to be funny, because they just seemed so dumb. Like... Ithan "accidentally" beheading Sigrid. Excuse me?? lmao (I edited this one because in my annoyance I misrepresented that a bit)

The tone was so, so off. That was a big source of my inappropriate laughing. Like, Hunt thanking Urd that he had such a loyal, fierce badass mate. Or a chapter starting with Ruhn saying "nah". I think this is because the genre could not decided what it wanted to be. SJM was still writing like this was high fantasy, but then used the word "like" in the way that I use the word "like". I do get that this is urban fantasy and she tried to smush it with a high fantasy (a high fantasy with very little world building, but still), but I really do not think that this genre serves sjm's style of storytelling. At all.

Dear powers that be in whatever heaven that exists, please stop letting sjm describe every single character as the most strongest beautiful fiercest loyal badass tough unflenching etc etc etc. I fucking beg. One of the big reasons that I dislike pretty much every character in this series is that they ALL HAVE THE SAME PERSONALITY.

Bryce is annoying as hell. I could write a whole essay on her but she is easily my least favorite sjm character EVER.

I am bitter at feeling like I needed to read this book when, after hosab, I would have given up on this series if not for the crossover.

The crossover really did feel like a "teehee I can do this because I want to" with very, very little thought as to how it would actually make sense. A crossover like this should NOT be done by someone who doesn't outline, and who pantses their writing. Pantsing is fine in itself! Pantsers should be barred from writing this kind of book.

Hunt's dick is too big for his underwear.

[sanest-bsd-delegate]

Hello!! I hope your having a good day/night but I was wondering if you could write dazai and sigma and other characters of your choice or not with a reader who has social anxiety disorder who gets chest pains and nausea from it thank you :D

Comfort Crowd

Headcanon: Even with anxiety, they help you find a comfort crowd Ft Sigma, Dazai

A/N: Gonna finish my old req first cause they deserve justice

ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY

PORT MAFIA

MASTERLIST

HEADCANONS

Sigma:

Normally it was no joke when he first got to know you have social anxiety disorder.

he made sure you never were around people who you didn't knew, and made you stay away from large crowd knowing your condition (Let's be honest, he is scared himself that he might worsen the situation if he tried to help you with your anxiety)

I mean you live in a casino for god sake.

Sadly there are times when your presence is needed among the fellow Casino staff and members considering you were the cofounder of the casino itself, but worst of all you have to address all. (Let us assume, perry has three firetrucks-)

the constant fear of judgement would cloud up your mind. "Sigma what if they judge me?" "Calm down, it's alright love, breath in and out"

10/10 he holds hand whenever you are in public i.e outside your room, at gatherings, ANYWHERE.

Compliments you everytime he sees you, “you look good y/n”

Aww, he even tries to boost your self confidence with that!

It takes time for you to blend and adjust with some people, and he respects that. He wouldn't try to make you befriend people.

DOA makes you feel alive. Least Sigma does.

Sigma is caring enough and exactly knows how to calm you down.

Chest pains? He will run leaving everything and hug you tight, rub your back and make sure you drink water. I mean, even if you try to hid it he will know, He will just know.

Dazai:

Honestly, I think even with his supreme personality, he might as well as panic if he sees his loved one/s have any problem, especially an attack.

I would say, he rushes just like sigma, leaving everything behind and rubs your back, make you drink water and holds you tights while whispering, "Y/N just breath okay? Am here for you"

He is clueless about it.

It started with you both hanging out, and suddenly Dazai asked you a simple favour to pay the bill while he finishes eating, and oh boy you were sweating a lot.

"Y/N, Are you okay?"

Aww he is a late boomer, but he eventually figured it out.

He wouldn't avoid you from crowds, nor will advice you to stay where you are, but I think indirectly he will be helping you to cope up with it.

If you have pills, he makes sure you don't overdose. (Despite the fact he is ahem ahem)

He makes sure to carry those picture cards in his coat pocket, because somewhat he feels like if you ever feel dizzy and out of focus, the least he can do is get help from the cards.

I mean he is trying right?

I feel like he is to much emotional because after a time he is showing his true affections to someone other then his late friend Oda, and pretty much seeing them having attacks while he just stands there and panic, do nothing makes him feel downer then usual.

"Y/N am sorry, I couldn't help you better"

But we love his efforts.

btw, the cards helped him save his life he tries to waste, the bullet couldnt move pass the thicc cards.

[letters-to-rosie]

I'm still reading Afropessimism so it's time for me to make my media studies degree do some exercise with my favorite boy

and someday I will write that proper Silco essay on why his politics make me sad lol but for now I will just say I stopped trusting that man when the word nation came out of his mouth

the whole idea of a nation state (as opposed to other governmental/social arrangements that precede it) is that the political entity of the state is something individuals who are citizens of the state are supposed to identify with. the nation state is supposed to represent them and protect them in some manner. typically, this is established by means of trampling on someone else who lives within state borders but doesn't (at the time of the state's formation) fit into the community of the state. (for more, there's this really good interview with Mahmood Mamdani where he articulates this and connects it to the current situation in Palestine)

for Mamdani, the idea of the nation state crystalizes with Spain's reconquista, which created an Iberian state that trampled over Jewish and Muslim people. from there, the idea that people's homelands might not take the form of states becomes foreclosed as the model of the nation state expands and subsumes every other political formation out there

and this (told y'all I was gonna put that degree to work) is what happens in the show. Silco, working on his nationalist project, envisions a future in which the people of his homeland have a political entity to represent them. but in the course of establishing it, he tramples over resistance to his very sketchy means of accomplishing this goal

what I want to think about more is how not to close out potential alternatives. I think the character who presents the best place to start with that from is Ekko (my boy). Ekko and the Firelights' political motives beyond 1) stop the expansion of shimmer 2) care for addicts and 3) beat up cops is left pretty unclear. I think the reason he sometimes get looked over is this lack of clarity, a lack of coherence, and that gives the feeling of not being able to judge him. while Silco's methods are bad, his narrative arc makes sense. his solution also makes sense. but is making sense the end-all-be-all of liberatory possibility? especially when one is up against violence that is senseless itself and in its gratuity?

here's where Afropessimism is so interesting to me. the theory is about anti-blackness and argues that humanity is able to define itself against blackness as a metaphorical ruler (I have some historical examples that are interesting, but then we'd be here all day; if you're really interested go dive into Matthew Perry and Japan). because this antagonism is pre-logical, it doesn't make sense. it challenges the very idea that suffering and redress for that suffering can be made sense of. the solution to it isn't in sight. but the challenge is to sit with that. it is to know that the answer doesn't have to be right in front of you for the fight to still be worth it.

a big part of why I don't vibe with the whole concept of nation states is that I've always been like "why am I supposed to identify with the country that enslaved a bunch of my ancestors? like what good does that do me?" and I frankly have decided that it does me no good to do that. as a descendant of enslaved people, I also have no nation to go back to and join. what do I wanna do instead? don't know. the longer and longer I live, the idea that I have to feels like an unfair imposition. I've read multiple commentaries that read the Firelights as anarchists. anarchists get asked that same question a lot.

what do we do with a form of redress that doesn't make narrative sense? what kind of restoration could be meaningfully taken out of the situation in the show? in a way, it's interesting, because the show has source material that's very public. we know, ultimately, no matter what questions characters like Ekko pose the idea of Zaun as a nation, that's what happens anyway. it's like a psychic wall of impossibility prevents anything else. it has to become a nation because in a world of nations there is no other choice. so I don't fault Silco for thinking it would be a good idea. I wish he had more of an imagination, though.