#I have thoughts although I can't fully find the words

[alexiethymia]

a chain of headpats

[pinkberrytea]

He had tasted you once; now, he craves every inch of your being, his hunger insatiable.

Little death—a gift he bestowed upon her, and which she bestows upon him in turn. As her lifeblood touches his lips, Astarion reminisces about the fateful eve when he first sank his fangs into her pretty neck.

Come, gentle night; and when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars.

Astarion x Tav (F!Reader)

w/c: 3.1k words . ao3 . spotify playlist . 18+ only . nsfw . dividers

a/n: I can't be the only one who is convinced my man is down bad since the very first bite, right? he is so interesting to me! I wanted to explore this idea further, hopefully I did it justice. thank you for reading!

tags: blood drinking; fluff & smut; possessive behavior; masturbation; body worship; mildly dubious consent; dry humping; somnophilia

“Later on, when we are at rest, I will eat you right up. Just enough to give me strength, and just enough to leave you wishing for more.”

Footsteps. You hear them approaching, although in your half-unconscious torpor, you can’t tell if they’re near or far. You’re likewise unsure of what has disturbed your sleep, even if as of late, nights have been restless and plagued by nightmares, the worm etched in the recesses of your brain a constant, unforgiving reminder of your plight. Your mind is still hazy, fragments of your dreams clouding your thoughts, so you rely on your primal instincts instead—you smell nothing but the crisp evening air, feel nothing but the cool breeze caressing your warm body, see nothing but endless darkness from behind your closed eyelids, but your ears don’t fail you. You instinctively hold your breath, muscles tensed, staying as still as possible as if playing dead; the footsteps are now almost upon you, the crunching of leaves growing louder and muffling the noise of the crickets singing, and your skin becomes covered in goosebumps in anticipation, the pit of your stomach twisting and turning. Whoever it is, you seem to be their intended target.

Suppressing the mounting panic rising within your chest, you try to gather your bearings and make sense of the situation. You know where you are—Elturgard, or more specifically, a camp in the wilderness, somewhere between Elturel and Baldur’s Gate. Finding a cure for the parasite wriggling in your head is the reason you’re here, and the companions with whom you’re sharing your camp are afflicted by the same condition. Ah, your companions—the footsteps must belong to one of them, surely. The soothing heat of the campfire has significantly dwindled compared to how it was when you turned in, its crackling so low you can barely hear it, and the night is sufficiently chilly that your bedroll fails to offer enough shelter, so you wonder if they are about to tend to the dying flames, or maybe ask you to help them do so. You wait expectantly, pricking up your ears, but suddenly, the crunching sounds come to a halt, and you sense a presence looming over you. A shiver runs down your spine, and your heart starts beating faster, thumping so loudly you’re afraid it may give away your awakened state. The presence silently kneels down beside you, crawling even closer, too close for comfort; and then, you feel it—cold digits ghosting over your cheek, their featherlight touch almost tentatively soft.

Astarion.

Now you remember. You offered to let him feed on you earlier, a habit which you’ve unexpectedly picked up in recent days, although the reason for such eludes you. Perhaps it was his pained expression when he asked you the first time, or maybe something else—you’re not entirely certain, but the fact of the matter is, he is here, except unlike other nights, you are fully aware of your surroundings. Not only that, it has been no more than a fortnight since your little tryst in that pretty clearing, which it seems both of you are intent on pretending never happened. You more so than him—it would be insincere of you to claim you haven’t noticed the dangerous glint in his eyes, how he leans closer when you talk, the cunning smirks and wistful glances. Truth be told, you’re still unsure what to make of it all; none of it is how you expected it would be, not your time together, and certainly not the aftermath. Him, too—though it may be bold of you to assume so, you can’t help but think that his show of vulnerability, however brief, had not been intentional. Ever so often you idly muse over the raw perplexity etched across his face when you invited him to drink from you then, how he looked at you in utter disbelief, letting the mask of a debonair lover slip for a split second; how his kisses became more fervent, his touches less calculated, the confusion never truly seeming to leave him until you were done. And then, the morning after—the hurt in his voice, the complex feelings he appeared to be trying to suppress seeping from every word, as if he had been prepared for anything and everything but genuine yearning, and you ruined it all for him.

“This isn’t about hunger. It’s about pleasure.”

The digits on your cheek slide downwards, gliding across the curve of your jaw and towards your slender neck, where they stop for a brief moment, only to then press down on it, feeling around as if searching for something—an artery, pulsing so very tantalizingly with your precious crimson, a feast set out entirely for him. With his other hand, he gently runs his fingers through your hair and brushes it behind your shoulder, exposing his prize, and repositioning himself to straddle you, he lowers his head until his mouth is hovering right above it. He stays like this for a while, and your blood runs cold as it dawns on you that he may have noticed you are not asleep, but before long, his skin finally comes into contact with yours—however, rather than the sharp pain you’d been expecting, you feel only the pillowy softness of his lips; a tender kiss, which is then followed by another, and then another. One of his hands stays tangled in your hair, cradling your head, and he splays the other on the ground beside you to support himself. His fangs lightly graze the throbbing vein with each peck, almost teasingly, until finally, he sinks them into the sensitive flesh, carefully and steadily so as not to wake you. The uncomfortable sensation is not foreign to you, although it is clear he has become more accustomed to this, even if you have not; his technique has significantly improved, and after the initial stab, it hardly hurts anymore, other than a dull ache every time he swallows, which he does quite enthusiastically.

“Just you and me and—well, maybe a little death?”

Letting out low grunts and guttural moans as he drinks, Astarion sucks ever so vigorously, seemingly more at ease due to your apparent lack of consciousness. Your face gradually grows warmer as you notice tension building up low in your stomach, the noises he makes and the feeling of his plush lips and wet tongue against your skin causing your body to react with pathetic wantonness. You try to stifle the impending arousal, doing your best to remind yourself that he is only feeding, nothing more, nothing less; until you notice the hand on which he had been leaning make its way from its place on the ground to rest on your waist, gingerly moving upwards until his long fingers brush against the plump of one of your breasts, almost as if by accident—it is, however, no accident when two of them then pinch a pebbling nipple through the thin fabric of your nightshirt, delicately massaging the pert nub while the others knead the squishy surrounding flesh. The ache between your legs swells with desire, and you flusteredly bite back the whimper threatening to escape the confines of your closed mouth; believing you to be deep in slumber, he has no reason for such restraint, and his vocalizations increase in frequency and volume alike. 

Having to now use his upper body strength to keep himself propped up, he decides to instead gently fall on top of you, momentarily unlatching from your neck to then slightly push you to the side and press his strong chest flush against your back, one hand woven in your hair and the other cupping your breast still. With almost desperate keenness, he hooks one of his legs over yours, shoving his crotch against your rear, and immediately you notice the rock hard bulge nudging the space between your buttocks. The tips of your ears burn bright red at this realization, making you wonder how common of an occurrence this must be; as your mind wanders to the night when he first bit you, he sinks his fangs back into the bruised vein, and your eyes water a little due to the sudden pain, which you quickly forget about once you feel his hips start almost imperceptibly grinding against your own. Wedging the bulge deeper within the valley of your ass, he moves it to and fro, almost in rhythm with his sucking of your blood, the digits on your bosom earnestly playing with your nipple and those in your hair tenderly caressing the tousled tresses. 

“Hm—hnng…” Astarion groans lewdly, lasciviously, making suggestive wet sounds while sensually lapping at your crimson. No longer satisfied to feel you up through your clothes, he sticks his hand under your shirt, and his cold fingers quickly resume fondling the soft skin of your breast, in response to which shock waves shoot up your legs and arms. Freeing the digits tangled in your hair, he brings them to your ribs, sliding their pads along your navel and down towards your groin, where he then firmly grabs one of your supple thighs. That’s when it occurs to you how unlike your night together he seems to be acting—eagerly exploring your body with almost adolescent clumsiness, his movements sloppy and impulsive, he appears to be entirely focused on taking rather than giving; having no reason to try to impress you, he acts greedily instead, intent on achieving his own personal ecstasy above all else, a fact that doesn’t bother so much as instill in you a puzzling sense of relief.

Increasing the pace of his thrusts, he tightens the grip of his leg around yours, and for a short while you all but forget that your crimson is running down his throat still, unable to focus on anything but the heat irradiating from his skin as it becomes ever warmer the more he feeds. When you notice you can no longer feel the tips of your toes, it is far too late—a tingling sensation spreads across your heavy limbs due to the loss of blood, and holding onto a single thought proves far too difficult, your mind now a messy whirlwind of memories and abstractions. Your arousal persists even as your conscience starts to wane; slick soaks through your underpants, the sweet scent of which causes Astarion to immediately stop moving, freezing as if caught with his fingers inside the cookie jar. After what seems like an eternity, both his hands and fangs leave your helpless form, and he shuffles behind you, presumably looking for something—before you can even begin to wonder what, you feel him press a soft piece of fabric against the fresh set of bite marks on your neck, which he uses to gently wipe the thick red blooming from the small wounds. 

Worried that any further stimulation might disturb your sleep, he decides to attempt a less bold approach instead, pulling away slightly, although your legs remain twisted together. Barely awake now, the echoes of the forest reach your ears in hushed, distant hums, but you can still hear him as he brings the bloodstained cloth to his nose, taking in your scent deeply, eyes closed and a libidinous moan falling from his pretty lips. One of his now freed hands hastily makes its way to the waistband of his pants, only to then slip under it, and as soon as his elegant digits brush against the velvety crown of his cock, he wraps them around its engorged girth, squeezing lightly and drawing pearly droplets of precome from the weeping slit. 

“Mngh…” he croaks, his voice raspy and hoarse, and you can’t tell for sure, but a whisper that vaguely sounds like your own name wafts through the air and vanishes into the evening sky as he starts sliding his hand up and down his length, smearing the clear liquid seeping from the leaking tip all over himself. Prior to your night of passion, this is how he would choose to relieve the painful erection inevitably provoked by his daily feedings, only he would retreat to his tent then; once you became more intimate, things changed, and raw eroticism would percolate into every session, images of your moments together sweeping through his mind and springing his aching sex to life with each gulpful of your lifeblood. The instant you offered him your neck, all he had ever known suddenly came into question—drinking from you while balls-deep into your tight cunt was an experience unlike any other, to the point of almost completely resignifying the concept of pleasure for him. By owning your body, he had made you his, even if only temporarily; your blind trust was something he had never before experienced, and not once had he felt so powerful as with you squirming under him, completely submitting to his whims. 

“Astarion, please…” he recalls you whimpering, the sound of his name on your pink tongue so enticingly sultry, stirring up in him all sorts of conflicting feelings; lust, infatuation, guilt, anger, all blended together and indistinguishable from one another. How beautiful a vision you had made then—such a pretty, luscious thing, flushed cheeks and half-lidded eyes glinting with coquettish longing. The more he finds himself caring, the more he hates you for it; the more his hatred for you grows, the more he wants you by his side. Choosing to manipulate you into a tactical alliance was the culmination of careful and meticulous deliberation—at once deadly and most pleasing to the eye, yet seemingly unaware of either fact; a naive, kind fool, lost and alone, his perfect target from every angle, you were the obvious candidate. He had no way of knowing at the time—how you would unwittingly beat him at his own game and steal your way into his undead heart, without even really trying. 

While pumping his now glistening cock, your precious face is all Astarion can think of, every detail of it perpetually burned onto his retinas—long, thick lashes, curtaining doe-like eyes; sweet little freckles speckling the bridge of your nose; smooth waxen skin and plump rosy lips, so soft and kissable. And your scent, oh, your scent—delicious and intoxicating, such a lovely, delectable bouquet. Although now warm, his hand could never compare to the feeling of your slickened walls clenching and fluttering around him, and no amount of pressure would ever be able to replicate the sensation of stretching them open, coaxing yelps and cute whiny pants out of you with each nudge of your cervix. He wonders for a moment what other expressions he has yet to witness you make; in what other manners he has yet to take you, in what other positions he has yet to watch you come undone. Maybe on all fours, that round ass of yours sticking out so very invitingly, begging to be devoured; maybe on your knees, darkened lips wrapped tightly around his cock, eyes watering and drool dripping down onto the swollen peaks of your perky breasts as you accommodate all of him like the good girl you are. Each idea is more enticing than the one before, and the very thought of acquainting himself with all the ins and outs of your body makes him feel alive, bulging veins and tumid cockhead pulsating madly against his sweaty palm as he goes over the endless possibilities. He had tasted you once; now, he craves every inch of your being, his hunger insatiable. 

“Mine…” he growls possessively, picturing your tits bouncing and the rouged knot atop your dripping core throbbing for him as he feels his climax draw nearer, rubbing the cloth sullied with your crimson against his nose, your taste still fresh in his mouth and a trail of red running down his chin. You are not his, not yet, but although he curses himself for it, he would bring his simple plan to fruition, for all the wrong reasons; he wants you, he needs you—his own little bundle of joy, his light in the darkness, his glimmer of solace, his, his, his, and his alone. He won’t share your kindness, not with your companions, not with anyone, and he cares not if his greediness makes him unworthy, for he never deserved any of it in the first place; regardless, you’d still extend a hand to the wretch who put a knife to your throat, toyed with your emotions and sucked you dry, in more ways than one. You may not realize it, but in sharing your life essence with him, you breathed color into his world, roused within his soul a vital spark he’d long forgotten had once ever been there. He may not be entitled to it, but he’d still have it all—he’d still have you, to the bone and beyond.

“Oh, gods…” With one last stroke, Astarion empties himself on his hand and stomach, legs convulsing and hips stuttering, letting go of the cloth to then nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck, lips pressed against the bloodied gashes maculating your otherwise flawless skin. The inside of his pants is now covered in come, yet even as the thick fluid runs uncomfortably down his thighs, he feels strangely at peace—happy, even. His softening cock twitches and jerks still, but fearing that his luck may soon run out, he lets go of it and wipes his fingers on the hem of his shirt, which he learns is also stained with his seed; once they’re sufficiently clean, he wraps both of his arms around your waist in a tight embrace, focusing on the gentle raising of your chest as you inhale ever so softly, finally at rest. 

“This is a gift, you know.”

He won’t forget it. Regardless of what may lie ahead, he won’t. Warm flesh, beating heart; as your crimson courses through his veins, the thread of life now connects you both, your fates forever intertwined. When morning comes, all will be back to normal, but for now, he shall hold you, cradle you, as he would a lover. A true lover—though what would that be, if not prey that wakes by his side once the dawn breaks? Disturbing as that thought may be, it is of little import for now; basking in the clarity of death, he allows himself a moment of reprieve, for your time together is far from over. What treasures will the future bestow? Why—finding out is but a matter of waiting.

[azrielbrainrot]

Silent Voices Speak

Pairing: Azriel x F!Reader

Description: Both you and Azriel find yourselves with some sleep related problems. Who would have thought you could be each other's remedy?

Warnings: barely any angst

Word Count: 3400

Notes: I can't believe it took me so long to write a new story in the healer!reader universe, they're my first babies. Hope you enjoy!

Healer!Reader Universe Masterlist

The killings hadn't stopped. The, by now, tripled security slowed them down and allowed the Inner Circle to be made aware of any disturbances quicker, and the bodies hadn't been found by any innocent civilians since then either, thankfully saving a lot of fae from having to witness such gruesome sights, but the killings hadn't stopped.

Your research has given you some clues as to the motives behind the murders, though you still can't fully understand the ritual behind them. None of the information you've gathered has helped in stopping them from happening or finding the people responsible for them. Amren has traveled to the Day Court and is now searching the High Lord's extensive libraries to try and find more information on a lead she got but, for now, there wasn't enough to make anyone feel safer.

The streets of Velaris felt lifeless, bars and restaurants closing earlier than usual given the unofficial curfew every fae seemed to have set for themselves. The City of Dreamers, heart of the Night Court, was scared of the dark. Apart from the killings, that was what weighed the heaviest on the Inner Circle's minds.

Feyre and Rhysand had been forthcoming with information, letting the public know they were actively searching for the killers and sharing some of the details as a means to stop the rumors that kept going around that were only exaggerating the already awful murders the more they spread. Of course, they'd been careful not to reveal any of the more gruesome details, or the fact that everything pointed to the murders actually being sacrifices to what could be an old God or even worse.

Those had been the details keeping you up at night as you were now, sipping on chamomile tea in hopes of relaxing your body enough to get some sleep without any unwanted thoughts filtering through and spoiling it once again. You wanted to help as much as you could, and weren't considering talking to Rhys and backing down as Azriel had suggested multiple times, but you weren't used to witnessing this much cruelty, not like this.

When you'd been stationed as a healer during the war, you saw a lot of awful things, some of them you won't ever forget, but this felt different. Everything about these killings and the motives behind them had set off every alarm in your body.

The cup was empty before you realized, bringing it up to your mouth only to be met with nothing. You let out a sigh and look over to the comfortable bed, knowing you had to at least lay down and try to fall asleep, no matter how frustrating it was to toss and turn for hours on end or get woken up by terrifying dreams. At least this bed was a lot more comfortable than the one you had at home, it almost made you want to ask Rhysand where he got it from although you probably would never be able to afford it.

You're not entirely sure what brought it on but, after coming back from yet another fruitless mission, Azriel asked you to stay in the townhouse with him. You tried to decline, not entirely comfortable with staying at the High Lord's house indefinitely. You've spent some nights up in the House of Wind when you were helping with research, but this was different. You didn't want to take advantage of Rhysand and Feyre's kindness, but Azriel insisted, a tormented look you weren't used to seeing painted in the shadowsinger's face, and so you ended up accepting.

Just remembering your talk that night made you feel hopeless, wanting nothing more than to make him feel better and take some of the unbearable weight off his shoulders somehow.

“I'm not sure this is necessary,” you try to reason with him, “There haven't been any attacks in the city, with so many eyes on the streets it would be impossible.”

“It also seemed impossible for them to be able to hide for so long but even my shadows are blind to them.”

“I can't stay at my High Lord and Lady's home."

“I can't sleep not knowing you're safe,” the admission feels heavy between you, prompting you to study his face carefully, taking note of the fear and desperation behind his request. “I wouldn't forgive myself if something happened to you.”

“Azriel…”

You don't know what to say, not sure what this means for the two of you.

“Please.”

But with that little word he convinced you, not caring if it was Rhysand's house you were going to sleep in, or anyone else's, as long as it made Azriel feel at least a bit more at ease.

Your relationship has been changing ever since that fateful night when he kissed your cheek goodnight. It's a silly thought even now, that something so inconsequential as a peck to the cheek would end up meaning so much for the two of you.

Ever since that day your talks have gotten longer and more frequent, Azriel has also flown you to and from work a few times, has taken you on multiple outings that you can only classify as dates at this point. But things hadn't gotten further than that and more chaste kisses on the cheek.

The timing wasn't right. Not with everything that has been happening and the troubles filling both of your minds, the long hours Azriel had been putting his body through trying to find even the smallest clue about these murders, and your assistance in any research the Inner Circle needs as well as providing mental and physical aid to a terrified city.

Your feelings for him were impossible to deny - even though you've certainly tried to when everyone else asks about him, especially your High Lady, who you've come to learn is an avid busybody, - and you were more than confident that he cared for you just as much, but the timing wasn't right, and so you've been stuck between acting like friends and so much more.

You were still thinking about the shadowsinger when your head hit the pillow, making yourself comfortable and letting your thoughts wander around warm hazel eyes and shy smiles, hopefully lulling you into a peaceful sleep at last.

Rushed murmurs and harsh breaths take you away from the soft grasp of sleep. You try to ignore them at first but as the words grow louder, you try to decipher them confused. A flurry of shadows filters into your room, flying over you when you open your eyes to try and ascertain the situation. You can barely see them with the low lights the moon rays covered by dark curtains provide, but it almost feels like they're tugging at you, urging you to get up.

The thought that Azriel could be in danger makes you leap out of bed, foregoing your robe or slippers as you follow the frantic shadows to his room next to yours. Only hesitating at the door for a moment, knuckles raised against the intricately designed wood as you considered knocking before barging into his room unannounced, but another string of groans and panicked breathing assault your ears, prompting you to open the door.

Your eyes land on the shadowsinger immediately as he lay restless on his bed, blinking a few times as you adjusted to the dim lighting, his room being even darker than yours. A small sigh of relief escapes you when you find him unharmed, although you soon realize that the noises you heard were the result of what appears to be a particularly consuming and terrifying nightmare.

He had struggled so much in his sleep that the sheets were completely thrown off, laying by his feet as his body tossed and turned uninterrupted. A light sheen of sweat covered him, telling you he'd been at this for a while. There was a familiar glint of blue on his nightstand, as Truth Teller and two of his siphons lay close by. You tried not to linger on the fact that he didn't appear to be wearing anything else aside from underwear for too long.

Some of the shadows that swirled around the room meet the ones that had brought you here, moving over you once more as if asking you to save their singer. You wanted to help them, but you're not entirely sure if you should he seeing him like this, if he'd want you to see him so vulnerable.

Aside from that, waking up someone when they were so immersed in a dream, especially a nightmare, could be dangerous and bring more harm than good. Still, you couldn't leave him like this and go back to your room, so you decide to try and call his name softly, hoping the noise or familiarity will be enough to help him wake up in a more organic way.

“Azriel?”

You hesitate in the doorway, feeling like you were already invading his space, but as another weak cry escapes him your body moves on its own. You're at the edge of the bed before you even notice, repeating his name and shaking him softly so as not to startle him too much.

The pain was evident on his face. You didn't know what he was dreaming of but you knew you had to pull him out of there fast. You've never seen him so distressed. Watching him like this felt like a chain was tightening around your heart and lungs, making it hard for you to breathe or think.

At a slightly harder push, his eyes open, one scarred hand moving to grab your wrist, stopping you from touching him, as the other met to the nightstand, finding the hilt of his dagger. His hazel eyes were open wide, clearly disoriented by not only the nightmare but also having someone in his room. You expected nothing less from the Spymaster, of course he couldn't be so easily caught off guard even in his own room, but the tight grip was becoming too much, and you knew it was bruising, not being able to stop yourself from cringing softly at the pain.

As he understands the situation, wide eyes blinking multiple times as the waking world comes into focus, he drops your wrist and pulls away from you, sitting up and almost bumping his head against the headboard in his rush.

Neither of you moves or speaks for a moment, his heavy breathing the only thing that can be heard in the dark room. You wanted to turn the faelights on, to properly check on him, but Azriel always prefered the dark, feeling much more at ease surrounded by it. In fact, his shadows had hurried to him as soon as he woke up.

When his wide gaze settles into a frown, hazel eyes dropping to your wrist, you decide to speak up. You know that look and this was not the time for any other worries that might be growing in his mind, certainly none that concerned you.

“Azriel,” you whisper, not wanting to startle him, “Are you okay?”

“Did I hurt you?”

“No-”

“I shouldn't have hurt you,” he says, more to himself than to you, haunted eyes never straying from your wrist. You had only wanted to help, but now it feels like you made it worse by coming here.

“No, it's my fault. I know better than to wake someone up from a nightmare,” you swallow, throat suddenly dry, “but it looked like you were in pain and I couldn't leave you like this.”

He seemed unwilling to listen to you, a small, almost imperceptible shake of his head the only answer he gave you as you told him it wasn't his fault. Azriel is always too aware of himself, never allows himself any mistakes, as if he thinks he has to prove himself worthy of the life he leads. You don't even want to know what's going through his head now that he's convinced himself he hurt someone he cares about.

You let out a sigh when it was clear he wasn't going to say anything or acknowledge you further, you could almost see him receding into his own mind, getting consumed by his betraying thoughts. If you had listened to your training, you might not have ended up in this situation.

Slowly and very carefully, you move closer to him, giving him time to push you away or stop you if he wanted to. You only stop when your bare knee brushes his thigh, the warmth of his skin spreading through yours. Reaching for his hand, you interlock your fingers and squeeze softly, his eyes finally meeting yours.

“I shouldn't have grabbed you like that.” The pain was evident in his face, and it hurt you far more to think he was beating himself up than your wrist ever did. “I'm sorry.”

“There's no reason to be sorry,” you smile up at him, trying your best to soothe him, “You were disoriented and moved to protect yourself, that's all.”

He still looks unwilling to let go of his guilt, but you can see him settling back into himself, his usual calm expression falling over his beautiful face. He lets go of your hand in favor of cradling your wrist, carefully inspecting it as if he was looking at a broken bone and not at a bruise that would be completely healed within the hour. Caressing the soft skin with his thumb lightly, the scarred skin and affection behind the movement causing goosebumps to erupt.

“You didn't answer my question. Are you alright?”

Azriel looks up at you then, a conflicted look falling over his face once more. It seems he had been too focused on your wrist to remember the nightmare, and the fact that you'd seen him like that. You're almost positive he hates the fact that you've seen him like that even more than whatever haunted his nightmares. He's always been an extremely private person, so you can't even imagine what it feels like for him to be seen in such a vulnerable light by someone he barely knows.

“Did I wake you?”

“No,” the expression on his face telling you he doesn't believe it, “You didn't. I've been finding it hard to sleep with everything that has been going on.”

“You're safe here.”

“I know, I've just had too much on my mind.” It feels like you're doing this wrong, you're the one that should be worried about him, not the other way around. “Your shadows came into my room and I heard movement so I came to check on you.”

Disapprovement flashes in his eyes, directed at his shadows of course. You'd find it adorable how he treats his shadows like misbehaving children if it weren't for the situation. Hopefully he won't be too harsh on them, you can almost feel the lecture coming. You're not entirely sure how much they can feel, if they can at all, but they had done good in going to find you, even if Azriel reprimanded them for it.

“I didn't know they could do that without you being conscious. They were very helpful,” you smile down at the dark wisps stationed over his shoulders. He clearly didn't agree with you, a soft scoff escaping his lips, but you hope this is enough for them to know they can come to find you in this type of situation from now on. You don't want Azriel to suffer on his own when you're there for him.

“Thank you,” you look up at him in surprise, “You didn't have to come. It was only a nightmare.”

It's not as surprising that he doesn't want to tell you what the nightmare was about, or even change the subject. If he wants to pretend this never happened come morning, you're more than welcome to oblige, as long as he feels better and knows you're always ready to lend a helping hand.

“You can come to me for anything, Azriel,” your hand finds his once again, thumb caressing the scarred skin on the back of his hand. “I'll always be here for you.”

He holds your gaze in an intense stare, the swirl of emotions written in his eyes becoming almost too much to bear, and still you're unable to break away from the all-consuming hazel. It seems like the world stops around you for a moment, and there's only you and him.

As your surroundings return slowly, you suddenly become too aware of the position you're in, of what it would look like if someone walked in. They would find you sitting on his bed, right next to him, lost in his eyes, hands clasped together between you, disheveled hair and half lidded eyes. The lack of clothing only added to the sight, you had never been so conscious of how short and thin the nightgown you wore to sleep was. You can only be grateful that Azriel doesn't sleep completely naked, though his underwear barely leaves anything to the imagination, and your imagination is desperate to run wild.

Heat rushes to your cheeks as the thought settles in your mind, clearing your throat softly to try and break yourself out of those thoughts. Looking up at the suddenly captivating pattern painted on his dark navy walls when his gaze becomes too much. You could swear you saw the corner of his lip rise as he likely noticed the effect he had on you. This was a good thing, it was like the Azriel you're used to, but you needed to get back on track.

“Do you think you can go back to sleep?” You try to untangle your fingers from his but he holds onto your hand, unwilling to let go of you just yet. “I can get you some tea to help you relax if you can't, or maybe we could go for a walk instead?”

Tiring him out could be a good idea, although his body is probably beyond exhausted from the long hours he's been putting himself through. Maybe tea was the best option.

“Can you stay with me?”

His words cut through your racing thoughts, your lips parting in surprise. You had half expected him to kick you out of his bedroom when he came to, inviting you into his bed was the last thing you would have seen coming.

“What?”

“I think I can sleep if you stay,” he whispers, “but if you don't feel comfortable-”

“I don't mind staying,” you rush to assure him with burning cheeks, thankfully matching his own, “You just caught me off guard that's all.”

Azriel offers you a tired smile and, with a wave of his hand, fixes the sheets, moving to the middle of the bed so you have enough room to settle next to him. Your movements are painfully awkward as you lay down next to him, all too aware of every inch of your body, heart beating out of your chest.

While you're in the middle of deciding how to safely position your hands, stiff body frozen in place, he takes matters into his own hands, an achingly fond smile playing at his lips, his hand falling to the small of your back and pulling you in closer to his body, his scent enveloping you.

Azriel closes his eyes, breathing out a soft, “relax.” Your hand finds his chest, body slowly but surely melting into him as you do as he says and will your mind to stop wandering. Letting the soft beats of his heart calm yours, you decide to listen to your body, and fall into him, arm wrapping around his waist as you inch even closer, your chest finding his, tangling your legs until you can't know where you end and he begins. His grip on you tightens as a satisfied sigh escapes him, one heavy wing falling over your body, until you're impossibly close.

Your face now only a breath away from his, your nose bumping into his chin as he drops a soft kiss to your forehead and nuzzles into you, breathing you in. You almost catch yourself purring as you lay in his arms, completely surrounded by Azriel.

Tangled up in each other's warmths, sleep found you both easily, finally allowing you a few peaceful hours of sleep after the grueling weeks you've endured.

[nicksolemnlyswears]

SWEET TREAT

TWO IS COMPANY, THREE IS A CROWD

pairing: opla!sanji x reader, opla!zoro x reader

word count: 2.8k

warning: 18+, smut, swearing, penetration (p in v), oral (m receiving), food play, slight vouyerism

a/n: i didn't think 'TWO IS COMPANY, THREE IS A CROWD' would receive so much love. it's been overwhelming (in a good way) how well it's been doing. thank you to everyone who liked it and reblogged it!

as a thank you here is part 2 because if zoro had his moment so should sanji. (isn't that gif of him precious?) honestly you don't need to read part 1 to understand this. it's basically porn without plot (although it does have more plot than the first part lol)

i'd like to repeat i've only ever watched netflix's one piece so don't come for me if they are out of character.

i might just write a buggy oneshot next...that clown is coming for me.

Sanji outdid himself once more with dinner. No one in the crew can deny that recruiting Sanji onto the Straw Hat Crew was a great idea. Not even Zoro, who downplays his gratefulness with jabs towards the ‘waiter.’

With a full stomach and the rocking of the Going Merry the crew shuffles to their respective shared rooms to get some rest. Except for you.

You stay behind, gathering the empty plates and returning them to the sink. Sanji shoots you a thankful smile and pecks your lips gingerly as he turns to clean up the mess he made on the kitchen counter.

It’s peaceful as you scrub the dishes and Sanji returns everything to its respective spot. Each time he walks past you his palms find your hips, squeezing your body and rubbing up against you unnecessarily. Sanji just likes feeling your presence. Physical touch and acts of service is how he shows his love.

You don’t mind his touch, you revel on it actually. There’s something about big strong hands on your hips that makes you feel safe and fills your mind with impure thoughts.

You and Sanji talk in soft voices to maintain the unusual peacefulness of the ship. He whispers sweet nothings in your ear as he helps you dry the clean dishes, his breath tickling you and making you giggle.

“Saved space for dessert?” Sanji whispers, his eyes on the hallway leading to Luffy’s bedroom, afraid the boy will barge through the door.

“You’re telling me I have the pleasure of getting dessert?” You quip with a grin while looking up at him.

Sanji softly laughs, grabbing your waist and pulling you close to him. Your arms instinctually go around his neck. “You were the only one who helped me clean.”

“I just like spending time with you,” you whisper getting on your tippy toes to brush your lips against his.

“Even more reason to treat you with something sweet,” he responds, fully capturing your lips in a kiss.

With only the two of you around he takes his time to sink into the kiss. Tilting his head to deepen it and brushing his tongue against your lips. One hand grabs your hip while the other tangles in your hair, pulling you closer.

“I thought you were making me dessert not that I was dessert…although that can be arranged,” you tease him, dropping down back on your feet, leaving one last kiss on his jaw.

Sanji chuckles and shakes his head at your words, “You’re sweet enough to be dessert, but you’re right I did promise you a treat."

Kissing your forehead, Sanji opens up the pantry to get the necessary ingredients. You lean against the counter besides him as he fixes his sleeves up and starts whisking ingredients together. All of his movements are precise and confident.

Your eyes zone in on his strong forearms. The veins and tendons tensing as he whisks away. You can't help but remember all the times he's held you in his arms, his strong grip and the pleasure he gives.

You move to stand behind him as he finishes up, wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging him. You leave kisses along his spine, resting your head there for a moment. Neither have to speak to appreciate each others presence and the calm environment.

“All done, darling,” Sanji announces. He places his arms over yours to intertwine your fingers and give the palm of your hand a kiss.

You peep from behind him seeing a dish with chocolate mousse and whipped cream. It's your favorite dessert, the same one he recommended back when you first met at Baratie.

As you reach for the dish Sanji grabs you and lifts you to sit on the kitchen counter. You laugh as he stands between your open legs, bringing the dessert up between the two of you.

You part your lips as he raises the spoon up to your lips. Sanji watches you expectantly and a sense of satisfaction fills him as you close your eyes in pleasure.

The mixture of flavors invade your senses causing a moan rises from your throat. Sanji's proud smile falters as your tongue swipes your bottom lip to clean off a bit of chocolatey residue. A wave of lust crashes against him and settles deep inside of him.

“Best one yet, Chef Sanji,” you say none the wiser to the thoughts of the blonde chef.

“Yeah?” He says huskily, “Let me try, darling.”

The taste of the chocolate is alive in your mouth as Sanji presses his lips against yours and sneaks his tongue inside your mouth. There's no better place to taste his creation than from you. You squeal in surprise but lean into the kiss, grinning at his playfulness.

“I have to agree with you,” Sanji responds breathlessly, tucking a stand of your hair behind your ear.

“Smooth,” you giggle, taking the dish and spoon from his hands.

You and Sanji share the tasty dessert. You take charge of the spoon, feeding it to him in intervals. When it's nearly done you take a bit of left over whip cream and spread it on his nose.

Sanji stares at you open mouthed, he wasn't expecting that from you. "You're disrespecting the chef, love," he says moodily, wiping the nose with his finger and looking around for a rag.

"Am I?" You question, grabbing his hand. He looks at you questioningly as you lift it up to your lips to suck the finger covered in whipped cream.

The same sensation from earlier fills him once more as your lips wrap around his finger. You lock your eyes with his as your tongue swirls around it, just like it would if it was his cock. You release it from your mouth with a ‘pop’ with Sanji staring at you lustful eyes. His cock stirs in his trousers, feeling confined all of the sudden.

“You're being a little brat after I've treated you so well, darling?” Sanji breathes out, grabbing your thighs and sliding you to the edge of the counter. Now pressed against him you feel the bulge you've caused.

"I'm sorry?" You 'apologize' with a mischievous grin and a shrug.

"Sure you are," Sanji grumbles, stealing a kiss from you. He doesn't kiss you long as he leaves open mouthed kisses along your neck, the smell of your perfume still present on your skin. His hands sneak under your shirt, touching your warm skin and making you shiver.

You cross your ankles behind him, keeping him close to you as your head dips back. You feel his tongue on your collarbones, sucking a bruise on them.

As best you can you blindly unbutton his shirt, allowing your nails to rake down his chest and stomach. Sanji's abdomen tenses at your touch, which doesn't go unnoticed by you.

Sanji's lips soon return to yours, slipping his tongue past them to play with your tongue. Teasingly you slip a finger in the waistband of his trousers, pulling on it playfully.

"Let me make it up to you," you pant, referring to him calling you a brat. Undoing the belt and popping open his trousers you slip your hand under his underwear.

"You're going to be the death of me, woman," Sanji groans when you take hold of his cock and pull it out of its confines. You smile widely at him as you begin stroking his length.

Sanji's attention is redirected to your chest as he brushes off the straps of your top down your shoulders and pulls it down, exposing your chest to him. He feels you shudder when the cold sea air hits your skin.

An idea forms in his head when he notices the left over whipped cream. Reaching out to it he grabs a dollop of it and spreads it over your hard nipples. He's combining two things he adores, you and food.

"Sanji, what?" You gasp, looking down at the mess he created.

"You said you could be dessert," he reminds you, briefly kissing you.

His mouth encases one of your nipples to clean you off the sweet cream. Sanji's tongue swirls and flicks against it, making your back arch in pleasure.

You momentarily stop pumping his cock in your hand, getting lost in his touch but Sanji reminds you as he thrusts into your palm. You continue to rub him up and down, tracing your thumb over his sensitive head to spread the bead that has formed there.

Meanwhile, Sanji switches to your other nipple, licking and sucking it. He needs to give props to himself as the whipped cream is delicious, especially topping your skin.

Sanji pays equal attention to each one of your breasts as he pinches and pulls on the one not in his mouth. Above him he hears your dulcet voice calling his name. Your touch is addicting as he sporadically jerks his hips to meet your pace.

Your chest and neck continue to be covered in whipped cream and yet you don't feel the stickiness as Sanji indulges on the sweet treat. Even as he comes back up to kiss your pouty lips you taste the sugar on them, leading you to crave some yourself.

"I want some whipped cream too, you know," you tell him with a pout.

"There's some left over," Sanji answers you albeit a bit confused. Seems like he forgets he's not the only one that can play around with food.

You gently push him back and drop down from the counter. Grabbing the small bowl with the left over whipped cream you kneel on the floor. Sanji is taken aback but nontheless lets you guide him to stand right in front of you.

His cock bounces as he settles in front of you. You grab it and give the tip a little kiss. Sanji grabs the counter behind him to brace himself. Dipping your finger into the bowl you spread the whipped cream along his length, letting some accumulate on his head.

Sticking out your tongue you lick Sanji from base to tip, gathering the sugary substance. You lick and lick until there is none left. Sanji watches you like a hawk, knuckles white from how hard he's grabbing the edge of the countertop. A grunt or two leave his lips, urging you on.

Sanji hisses your name when you push yourself to take his whole length in your mouth. You look up at him, cheeks hollowed and wide eyes, feigning innocence. "You saucy minx," he chides you.

Gathering your hair into a makeshift ponytail Sanji takes charge of your pace and the depth you take him. You hold onto his muscular thighs, letting him do as he pleases. Your tongue does wonders as it swirls around his cockhead with each opportunity that presents itself.

The combination of your warm mouth and the visual of you half dressed and flushed takes him to the precipice but before he's able to climax he forces you off his cock. He's not about to cum without having your walls wrapped around him. Helping you up he brushes your watery eyes with his thumbs and kisses your wet red lips that match your nose.

Positioning you to face away from him, he leans you over the counter. You glance behind you as feel him pressing up against you. Sanji pulls down your shorts and panties, ignoring the wet patch on them. His fingers dipping between your legs confirms what he already knows. You've been anticipating his touch ever since you decided to stay behind to help him clean up.

"Would you look at that?" Sanji smirks, spreading his fingers to watch your slick webbing between them.

"Sanji, please. I need you," you whimper, wiggling your hips.

"Now you decide to be polite, darling?" Sanji asks, swiping his cock against your drippy slit. It catches against your entrance, teasing you.

"Mhm, please," you shakily beg.

"Remember to be quiet or else the others will come wandering around," Sanji warns you, slowly pushing into you.

You bite your lips to keep quiet as it slips in smoothly. You swear you can feel the long vein that trails down his cock and the curve of it that hits you just right.

You hold onto the wooden counter for dear life as Sanji begins thrusting into you. One hand grips your hip, pulling you back towards him and the other runs down your back, occasionally spanking your ass to get a rise out of you.

"Such a good girl," he groans. At his words your pussy clamps around him, seems like you have a praise kink. "You like when I call you that, huh?" Sanji asks, leaning down to whisper in your ear.

"Yes, Sanji" you moan out, looking over your shoulder to get a glimpse of your boyfriend.

Sanji straightens back up and continues to thrust into you. Steady and deep. He focuses on the mess between your legs as a white ring forms at his base whenever he pushes back into you.

Shamelessly he grabs your ass, spreading it to see how your pussy chokes him out and how your walls drag each time he pulls out.

The height difference between the two of you is inconvenient. You're on your tippy toes as he grabs your hips to pull you impossibly closer.

You and Sanji are lost in the moment, concentrating on each other. So much so neither notices how Zoro walks into the kitchen. Quiet as a mouse, he walks around the counter until he's across from you.

You're a sight for sore eyes as your tits bounce with each of Sanjis strong thrusts. He'd come for an after dinner snack before heading to bed. He figured you'd be here with the waiter since he wasn't back in their shared cabin.

Sanji doesn't say anything, more than used to Zoro's presence by now. Zoro grabs the bowl of left over mousse and dips a finger in to taste it, liking it he grabs a spoon and leans back to watch.

"Is the waiter making you feel good?" He asks as he takes a spoonful of dessert. Sanji almost growls at the name but the feel of you choking his cock quiets him down.

You gasp at the sound of his voice. You had your eyes closed and as you open them you see Zoro, staring intently at you. You nod before speaking, "Fucking me nice and deep."

"You've gotten better at keeping quiet, baby," Zoro praises you, leaving the now empty bowl behind. He leans over the counter on his elbows, he's eye to eye with you now. "If I didn't know any better, I would have no idea of what's going on here."

"You really think now's a good time to have a conversation, mate?" Sanji glares at him. Zoro's presence causes him to snap his hips harder against yours. Your body jostles harder against the counter.

"Why not? Her mouth is free," Zoro shrugs, returning his gaze to his pretty girlfriend who is trying her hardest to keep quiet with the change of pace. "But I can leave if that's what you want."

"No!" You exclaim, extending your hand out to him to take. Zoro smirks at the blonde, grabbing your hand and cleaning the bead of sweat forming on your forehead.

"Whatever," Sanji mutters under his breath.

Your quietness doesn't last seeing as soon as Sanji touches your clit you yelp and tighten your hold on Zoro's hand.

"There she is," Zoro smirks at the noise you make. The harder Sanji thrusts and the more he touches your clit the louder your noises get.

"Sanji. Zoro." You whine, scrunching your eyes closed focusing on that knot settling deep in you.

"Spoke too soon. Want to help her out, Zoro?" Sanji grunts. He's not going to last much longer now. He feels the pressure coming to it's limit.

Zoro comes closer to you and kisses you. It's nearly not enough to keep you quiet though as your moans leak in between each kiss. Your fingers come up behind Zoro's neck, deepening the kiss as you feel your toes curling in anticipation.

Soon Sanji's thrusts become erratic and once he feels your walls clenching around him as you cum, it's over for him. He stills inside of you, shooting his load. Sanji helps you ride out your orgasm, circling your clit gently till you push him back.

There's a moment where you're slumped on the counter, forehead pressed against Zoro's. Sanji is inside of you not moving, his fingers caressing up and down your back. Your pussy spasms around his softening cock every so often.

Only when you attempt to straighten up does he pull out and helps you pull up your panties and shorts, seeing you like the mess that comes afterwards.

Sanji tucks himself back into his trousers and buttons up his wrinkled shirt, tucking it in as if nothing happened. Wrapping his arm around your waist Sanji kisses your temple and whispers another praise in your ear.

The two men exchange looks and smile as you lean tiredly against the blonde. The arrangement you three have is unorthodox but it is convenient. You make good use of your time giving them both the attention and affection they need.

[vexis-world]

“You can't seriously be that dumb..!”

💗 Clarisse la rue x daughter of Apollo!reader one-shot 💗

Authors note: hi reader!! This is my first fan-fiction post so I'd love any constructive criticism to help improve my writing for the future! This is not beta read so it's far from perfect - but I hope you will still enjoy it nonetheless :)) Ty for reading! 🫶

Short summary: Clarisse has some doubts about your "relationship" and seeks you out to speak about her worries.

Word count: 940ish words!

Clarisse’s mind was swarming with thoughts; it always does when she trains alone. She thinks best in the training arena, it's in her blood after all. You and her had been in a relationship for almost 3 months now and hadn't kissed yet. Which isn't a big deal! Clarisse doesn't mind, at least that's what she tells herself. But this is her first relationship, and she doesn't have anyone to unload this onto. To ask advice without having to reveal too much about herself, and her most private fears. She knew that you wanted to take things slow. Although it was not confirmed by words, Clarisse could (in her opinion) read her ‘girlfriend’ well. However when was slow, too slow? Were you having mixed feelings all of a sudden? And if so why had this not been brought up? Clarisse believed that you two were close, as ones in a romantic partnership should be; but perhaps not as close as she had originally thought.

Clarisse took large and fast steps, speed walking over to you. People moved out of her way, they could tell it was urgent and that they shouldn't mess with Clarisse at this moment. Or any moment for that matter.

“Hey Clarisse!” you spoke enthusiastically, finishing up a patient in the infirmary. “Pretty girl, explain something to me.” Clarisse's words make you blush, faintly; you had mainly gotten used to her flirty remarks these past few weeks, but she always manages to catch you off guard, every once in a while. “Ok.. what's up?” you asked, in a nervous tone. You could clearly see the distressed look on the girls face. “It's sort of private, can we speak in the back?” this added to your nerves, clarisse was usually never this off. “Of course, is everything okay?” but before you could finish your sentence, clarisse had already walked over to the back of the infirmary and into the supply area.

The supply closet was cramped with the both of you in there. Clarisse had to push up against you with an arm over your head for you two to fit somewhat comfortably. “Clarisse, is everything okay?” you asked again, this time hoping you would get a straight forward reply. “Do you.. Have you um..” clarisse stuttered avoiding your concerned gaze. “Have you lost feelings for me or something?” she finally mutters. You spent a minute gathering up your words, to find a way to reply. You bit your lip with furrowed brows, before the words fully processed and then said. “What..?” Clarisse had a strange expression on her face. “It's been three months and we haven't kissed or held hands in public. We don't go on proper dates. I feel like you don’t like me” she says quickly with an eye-roll included. “Clarisse, what are you on about..? Why would we kiss?” you asked hesitantly. “Why wouldn't you? Were in a relationship, isn't that kinda the norm?” This left you frozen. You were shocked, obviously but also majorly embarrassed. Had you been in a relationship without even knowing it? And to your crush no less. Fuck. “.. relationship?” you said nauseously, with butterflies in your stomach. “Clarisse, is this some sort of sick joke..?” you added, with shallow breaths. The room was getting stuffy and suffocating. “What do you mean sick joke? Have I ever lied to you? Are my feelings a joke to you? Is that it? Forget it. If I make you this fucking sick then good thing you're in the infirmary. I'm leaving, let's not talk for a while, 'kay?” she pushes past you. since you two were practically melted into one another, you could feel how she'd gotten warmer and how her heart rate had gone up significantly. You try to go after her but just as you do, your brother, Will asks you to tend to another patient that had just come in. He calls over his shoulder. “trouble in paradise? Gonna have to wait, I'm afraid - I need some help over here!” leaving you even more puzzled.

An hour or two goes by since you spoke with clarisse, and she’s consumed your thoughts entirely. You decided to speak to her at dinner and try to resolve whatever happened earlier.

“Clarisse, can we talk? Again..” you whispered, almost begging. “Kinda busy. We’ll talk later.” clarisse brushes you off to finish scraping her offerings into the fire. “Please clarisse. I need to speak to you. Just for a second.” you plead. “Two minutes. Two, that's it.” clarisse says, her eyes finally looking up from fire to the now very interesting sky. “Thank you.” You sigh and lead her away to a more secluded area as she had done with you. “I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. And they're not a joke to me. I'm just confused. What did you mean by relationship?” Clarisse replies by saying “what do you mean, what do i mean? We're dating, aren't we?” you take a pause, dumbfounded for the second time today. “Since when? Don't take this the wrong way but.. I don't remember you asking me to be your.. Um.. girlfriend.” your voice is wobbly and uncertain, you try your best to make your words seem kinder, as to not offend clarisse again. “Well, I guess I never asked but.. Oh.” Clarisse's words end as she parts her lips. She's realised her error. And so had you. You let out a breathy chuckle and say “maybe this time you should actually ask me.'' Clarisse looks at you with much more confidence now, her infamous sly grin back on her perfect face. “Maybe that would be best, sweet girl.”

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Playlist Love | Jungkook | Slow Down | Chase Atlantic

Play it again...and again and again and again.

Summary: Jungkook's party isn't exactly how he had envisioned spending his birthday so sneaking out with you was the only way he wanted to end his night. Based off of Chase Atlantic's discography. Specifically 'Slow Down', 'OHMAMI', 'HEAVEN AND BACK', 'Meddle About', 'Friends', 'Now' and I think that's it 😅 Pairing: Sunshine f!reader x Grumpy Jungkook established relationship (Written in Jungkook's pov) Word Count: 4k~ Warnings: Smut smut and more smut and explicit language ofc cuz it's Chase Atlantic. Jungkook is low-key a dick and hates everyone but has a very soft spot for the reader.

The music that seemed deafening on arrival has become nothing but a hum in the back of my mind, vision focused only on her. Watching the way she speaks, the way she smiles and specifically how tempting she looks in that dress.

"Aye birthday boy, you wanna beer?" one of the many guys who suddenly thinks they're my best friend tonight asks yet again. "Nah man I'm good" I say, scooting over when he goes to sit on the couch next to me, now stuck between him and the couple who have been sucking face for the past ten minutes.

This party although for me hasn't entertained me in the slightest. It's harsh to say but when my best friend is the one who decides to throw it it's more or less just another one of his usual ragers that have become less and less my style since I left college.

"That your girl?" the guy who's name I haven't bothered to learn asks, following my line of sight to her, dancing in a circle of girls that are just as intoxicated as she is, if not more.

"Yeah, she's mine" I mumble, loving the way those words taste on my tongue. "Nice" he drags out, clearly overcompensating for guy talk. He's drunk though so I guess I can't expect an original or coherent thought to come out of him.

As I tune out whatever else he's saying I opt to listen to the lyrics of a familiar song I've heard her play ad nauseam when we're together and I realize I had never fully digested what they're saying.

I don't know if you already know how But girl, I got the feeling that you know now You're buried in the pillow, yeah, you're so loud But I'm about to show you, baby, slow down

Visions of her with her face buried in a pillow entertain me. Back arched and ass up, the pleasure too much yet not enough, begging me to go faster but all I do is slow down. Pressing down between her shoulder blades to muffle her cries of protest since she's being way too fucking loud. Nothing stoping me from keeping a slow stroke going, denying her her release again and again until she's broken.

"Aye Jungkook" the guy calls out, knocking me out of my fantasy and bringing me back to reality.

"What?" I answer curtly, already sexually frustrated from those thoughts alone, leaving me ticked off. "That guy is trying to make a move on your girl" he say. My eyes although hadn't left her, fogged over with the illusion my twisted mind had created leaving me blind to the pitiful interaction in front of me.

I get up from the couch wordlessly and stalk towards the dance floor, weaving through the crowd haphazardly just to get to her and once I do I grab her wrist and pull on it a bit, making her stumble, her back now pressed up against my chest.

"Who's this?" I whisper in her ear, showing a sense of intimacy enough to make the man who had clear plans with her in mind uncomfortable.

She giggles at the ticklish feeling and leans into me once she's realize who it is. "Oh um, I dunno" her speech cutely slurred making me laugh at how much she actually didn't care to learn anything about him.

"Oh! Um what's your name?" she asks, no doubt feeling a little embarrassed and asking just to clumsily remedy the situation. "Jake" he replies dryly, sizing me up now instead of paying attention to her, knowing that he's lost the battle and the war.

"Well Jake, I suggest you find another girl" I say, turning her around so her focus is on me but in true drunk y/n fashion she never wants anyone to be left on a bad note. "It was nice meeting you" she says over her shoulder, his eyes going between her and I, my eyes in response wordlessly telling him to walk away and he does, eyeing the crowd to find another girl who might bother giving him the time of day.

"Hi Koo" she say happily, running her hands up my biceps and shoulders before locking her fingers behind my neck, trapping me in her hold. "Hi baby" I say softly, caressing her face for a second and noticing how warm she's gotten.

"You wanna come sit?" I nod my head towards the area I just came from, the couple from before gone, no doubt getting that room they should've gotten half an hour ago. "No, dance with me" she slurs, dragging out the first word, pulling me closer to make a point. My hands now placed on her hips while she gets lost in the music again.

Girl, just scream it out Tell me what you're thinking No, I wanna see you undress now I wanna hear you confess now

"You having fun" I ask, amused at how adorable she's acting, a dazed giggly mess. "Mhm so much fun. Are you?" she asks, not wanting to be the only one of us enjoying ourselves since technically it is still my party. "I am but I'd rather get outta here" I confess, having had fun at the beginning but this past hour or two has been excruciating, nursing my water to make sure I'm good to drive us home while watching her tease me without even knowing it.

"But my friends just got here" she says, gesturing to some people who had been here for long enough. "All of your friends have been here for so long. Which means we've been here for way too long " I argue and she shakes her head before realizing how bad of an idea that is, clearly having made herself dizzy from the way she stumbled, resigning to a pout instead.

"Don't look at me like that" I chuckle, kissing her pouty lips which she responds to right away, her clumsy kisses tasting like the many drinks she's had tonight. "What are my friends gonna think if we leave so early? It's your birthday" she asks, not realizing it's well past two am.

"I'm sorry to say this babe but I don't give a fuck about your friends right now" I whisper in her ear, my words making her shiver. "I'm sure what I've got to offer you tonight is a lot better than what they can give" I say, kissing her neck to prove my point leaving her humming in contentment.

"Lemme finish up my bottle then we'll g-go" she says and I chuckle while pulling back to look at her. "Do you even know where it is?" I cock a brow and when she opens her mouth to respond her brows soon furrow in confusion. "That's what I thought" I say and when she goes to protest I cut her off.

"You're not drinking what's in that fucking bottle y/n even if you did find it" and she closes her mouth, her pupils dilating just the slightest bit telling me that she's fully ready to listen now.

"Go get your stuff" I say patting her ass twice before spinning her around and encouraging her to lead the way. She refused to give me her things at the beginning of the night, claiming she needed her lipstick or whatever so she better know where it is or we're leaving without it.

I don't have time to fuck around right now when I notice how high her dress had ridden up her thighs, leaving me following very close behind.

She finds her purse and double checks for her phone that's luckily in there too and before she can start saying goodbye to anyone I'm dragging her out of the house. "You guys sneaking out of your own party?" one of the guys who's smoking a cigarette by the front door asks.

"Yeah can you tell everyone we left? If they even bother to notice" I ask, helping her clumsily walk down the front porch steps. "I'll tell em, Happy Birthday dude" he says and at that we're walking to my car with y/n slurring out a goodbye for the both of us.

"Why do you wanna go home early?" she pouts, dragging out the last syllable while I help her down into the passenger seat. "I don't like partying like that anymore. Plus it's already two am so I'm pretty sure we've stayed long enough" I inform her but she's still not one hundred percent convinced.

"But it's your birthday! I thought we were gonna take an Uber home?" she asks, now confused and a little concerned. "I stopped drinking a couple hours ago so I'm fine. I'd never put my girl in danger like that" I assure her, caressing her cheek for a second when she leans into my touch, retracting it and putting her seatbelt on a moment later.

"You okay?" I ask, checking her out...for safety reasons of course, but those bare thighs are making it so much harder to keep my thoughts to myself. "I should've let you have fun" she sighs, regretting not offering to be the DD this time.

"It's okay baby, let's just get home yeah?" I say and she nods, her lips still very much pouted in remorse for her choices. "Better suck that lip back into your mouth or I'll make you suck something else" I warn and she listens right away, knowing I'll make good on my promise and I smile when I see her rubbing her thighs together. "Good girl" I rasp and close her door before rounding the car to my side.

~~~~~

"Did you have a good birthday?" she asks after we've been driving on the highway for a while, taking sips from the water I bought her. "It's not over yet" I smile, looking over and seeing she's starting to sober up...barely. "But it's past midnight" she says and I shake my head. "It's not over yet since I still haven't gotten to unwrap my gift yet" I say scanning her body but she tilts her head at me.

"But I already gave you your present" she says, brows furrowed and completely oblivious to what I'm thinking. "Yes you did baby and it was a very nice gift but I'm not talking about that" I say, thinking she'll understand this time but with her still coming out of her drunken state she's not the sharpest tool in the shed just yet.

"What do yo-" she starts but cuts herself off when she feels my hand that's been on her thigh slide just the slightest bit higher and she flutters her lashes, sobering up just a bit more at the implications of my action.

"Is that okay with you" I ask, rubbing circles on her inner thigh to reassure her that it's her decision. We're both comfortable having drunk sex together but she knows she can always say no.

She stares down at my hand for a while, no doubt lost in a similar daze I had been in at the party not too long ago. "It's okay you don't have to answer now. Drink some more water and you can decide when we get home" I say, sliding my hand to rest just above her knee so she don't feel too much pressure.

After a couple of minutes of her contemplative silence I glance over and see that she's smiling to herself, a clear sign that we're both getting what we want tonight but I decide to take my hand off of her leg, opting to grab my phone and put on her playlist, the one that I've realized leaves nothing to the imagination.

Once we hit the first chorus I realized that this is the perfect one to get her to realize what I've been thinking about since we got in the car. From the way she changes her posture and glances over at me I know it's only a matter of time and when the second verse hits she's rubbing her thighs together again.

Bend it over slow 'cause daddy I know how you like it Backseat of the 'Rari pullin' over just to ride it

"You okay?" I ask her, noticing how she's bouncing one of her legs up and down, a usual nervous habit of hers but in this case it's to give herself some stimulation and we both know that. She nods and clears her throat to get rid of any nervous tone that no doubt would've come out of her and opts to nod.

"Okay" I smirk, going back to driving but I place my hand on her thigh again, stopping her ministrations and making her just as impatient as I've felt since that fucking song at the party...literally.

Hit one-fifty on the dash, I bent the corner Then she bent it for me sideways, uh I might have to fuck her on the highway, yeah

"Pull over" she mumbles and I smirk, thanking the artists on this song but making her say it again. "What was that? I couldn't hear you baby" I taunt, sliding my hand further up her thigh and squeezing it to reassure her since I know she's embarrassed.

"I said pull over" she commands which takes me by surprise but I do as she says, opting to take the next exit instead of the very reckless suggestion from the lyrics.

Once I get off the highway I find a secluded parking space in an otherwise completely vacant lot and turn off the car.

"What was it that you wanted to talk about?" I tease, turning my whole body to face her and the next second she's unbuckling her seatbelt and yanking on my collar to smash her lips against mine. Lips, teeth and tongue clashing, kissing each other breathless until she has to pull away, chest heaving and her bottom lip already starting to swell.

"We can wait until we get ho-" "No!" she interrupts me, her eyes opening with a glazed over look from arousal and her slightly intoxicated state. "No I wanna do this. Here. Now" she says, pulling me in for another kiss and I reciprocate it, my hands feeling for my own seatbelt to get it off of me.

I hold her face in place with one hand while the other is grabbing onto her forearm, pulling her over to to sit in my lap and when she gets the message I start pushing my seat back to make room for her but she still ends up landing her ass on the horn, making her bite my lip in surprise.

"Shhh" I chuckle, guiding her hips to sit on my lap instead, "You sure you're okay?" I tease, sliding my hands up her bare thighs, my fingers just barely slipping under the hem of her dress in case she says no.

She wanna fuck me, okay? She wanna know how it tastes

"Yes" she groans, clearly frustrated with me asking her again, shutting up any questions of doubt when she starts to unbuckle my belt.

"Someone's extremely impatient huh?" I say while she unbuttons my jeans, leaning back in my seat and lifting my hips for her so she can slide my jeans and boxers down, spitting on her hand afterwards and wrapping her hand around my dick, stroking it up and down at a lazy pace and taking control.

I hum and lay back, my eye half lidded and watching her as she takes special care to pay attention to what she's doing. "Feel so good" I encourage her, wanting to get her attention so she'll look at me, her lashes fluttering before she does, her bottom lip between her teeth from concentrating too hard.

"Come here" I say, caressing her face and tugging her lip free before kissing her, this time at a slower more sensual pace that matches the way her hand is stroking my length up and down, up and down.

"Fuck you're so good to me" I curse when her thumb runs along my tip, pulling away from her lips and kissing down her jaw to pepper kisses along the column of her neck, sucking marks into her skin when her hand tightens on my length and starts picking up the pace.

I groan against her skin and bite down to muffle the sound of any others coming after that but once I get too close I tell her to stop. "S-shit wait, wait" I say and she does, taking her hand off and looking at me, concern written on her face but I clear my throat and answer the question that's clearly written all over her face.

"Wanna fuck you" I say and slide my hand all the way up her dress, going to press against her clit and realizing there's no barrier. "You're not wearing anything under this?" I ask, raising my brow and getting the answer myself when I'm able to put a finger inside her. 

I pump it in and out until she starts to ride my fingers, adding another one but making her do the work. She shakes her head, resting both of her hands on my shoulders to keep her balance.

"T-took them off when you got me the w-water" she stutters, admitting to what she did when I went inside of the gas station. "You little minx" I chuckle, adding another finger and making her clench around them, a yelp coming out of her when she sinks back down, not expecting the stretch just yet.

"Thought it would be easier for when we got h-home" she explains, the innocence in her tone contradicting the way she's using my fingers to get off. "You we're trying to make it easier for me to fuck this pussy as soon as we got home. Didn't know you were as eager to get fucked as I was to fuck you" I hum, loving the way I've trained my girl.

I take my fingers out of her and she whimpers in protest. "Patience Princess" I scold, grabbing her hips so she'll hover over my length, taking one hand off to help line up with her entrance. She looks at me and my eyes flicker down to where she's hovering and when she starts to lower herself down she rests her forehead against mine, squeezing her eyes shut while her nails dig into my shoulders.

She lets out a whine and I can tell that the stretch is starting to burn from the way her walls are sucking me in. I hiss when she clenches around me, sensitive from denying myself of an orgasm in favor of prepping her to fuck sooner.

"It's okay baby, s-slow down" I stutter, nudging my nose against hers and grabbing her hips to stabilize her, gripping them so hard that my fingers will have left bruises for her to see in the morning. Her breathing is shaky when she takes in more, her pussy wrapped around my dick like it was made for me. 

"Just like that, doing so good for me" I say, brows pinched together when she clenches around me again, praise always having this effect on her. "Gonna be good and ride me on your own or you want me to help you?" I ask, tilting her chin up since her eyes have been focused on where we're connected, me being balls deep inside of her while she controls her breathing until she's comfortable. 

"Wanna be g-good" she stutter, her hands bracing herself on my shoulders before lifting her hips a bit, sinking back down on me before repeating the motion, her movements getting more bold as she finds her rhythm. 

Her tits bounce in front of me, adding another layer to this erotic scene but I need to get this dress off of her so I can see them, the top part basically slipping off already because of the strapless nature and the rumbled state it's in from not having more space to move around.

I slide it down and immediately place my mouth on one of her tits, grabbing the other one and toying with her nipple making her yelp in surprise, her mind focused on keeping a steady rhythm and forgetting that I'm able to explore her body while she does so. 

"It's okay baby keep going. Doing such a good job riding me" I coach her, placing a kiss on her open mouth, her face looking so fucked out already. "Fuck you're gorgeous" I groan, pulling her back into a deeper kiss, her gasping against my lips when I buck my hips into her.

"J-jungkook" she stutters, my name sounding so forbidden on her lips, little sounds of pleasure following, soon replaced with sounds of frustration. "Does baby want some help now?" I ask, running my thumb along her bottom lip, her lip gloss replaced with the swollen color sucked into it. 

She nods her head and shyly admits her need for me to take over, the sight endearing if she didn't have my cock buried deep inside her.

Gripping her hips again and urging her to move I lend my strength to keep the momentum going leaving both of us unable to hold back sounds of ecstasy. The squelching sound from the way her dripping wall suck me in making it hard for me to keep going. 

The thoughts of my cum dripping out of her and making an even bigger mess as she rides me being too close...too attainable to hold back for much longer. 

"Just like that, you're doing so well. Riding me and giving me such a pretty view. The only gift I fucking care about" I curse, the sight of her with her mascara running and her lashes damp from the pleasure being too much for her, mouth letting out unrestrained moans as she gets closer being just enough for me to hit that climax. 

"Baby you c-close? Fuck" I groan feeling her clench again, the sensation almost being my undoing. She nods her head and smashes her lips against mine, bringing me into a sloppy uncoordinated kiss, making me swallow her moans as the both of us finally come undone. Pleasure washing over us in waves as her walls flutter around me, the feeling of my cum dripping out of her being so disgustingly forbidden it's making me want more of her again. 

"Did so good for me" I soothe while rubbing her back as she lays against my chest, her mind no doubt still up on cloud nine from the way I felt her body reacting to me. "Made me feel so good" I whisper, kissing her temple and waiting for her to come back down to earth. 

"Baby?" I ask while feeling her relax into me, nuzzling her face into my neck. She hums in response before sitting up, making me hiss from the sensation, still sensitive from how well she rode me, my dick still very much buried inside of her. 

"You ready to go home?" I ask, wiping off some of the black tears that have almost slowed to a stop off her cheeks. She hum again and starts to fix her dress, getting off my lap and making herself whine from the loss of feeling full.

I tuck myself back into my jeans and then reach into the backseat and grab the hoodie I had back there and place it on her lap. She smiles sheepishly and slips it over her head, her body now enveloped in my scent with hers still very much all over me.

"Drink some more water" I say, picking up the bottle I got her so she can hydrate some more after the number she did on me. I put her seatbelt on her while she does as I ask, making sure she's fully secure before I fix my seat and put mine on as well. 

"How do you feel about your birthday now?" she rasps once we've gotten back on the highway, a lazy smile on her face while she admires me. "Like I said...it's not over yet"

Series masterlist (Coming Soon)

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @coralmusicblaze @whoa-jo @00frenchfries00 @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater (Rest of the tags are in the reblogs 💜)

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[impactedfates]

Letters Unsent - Genshin + HSR Boys x GN! Reader

�� Summary: After their death, you find a letter. A letter he wrote. A letter he wrote for you, a letter he wished he could’ve given to you personally. A letter describing his feelings.

☆ Characters Included (Separate): Diluc, Wriothesley, Cyno, Argenti, Jing Yuan + Gepard

★ Genre/Trope: Angst + Hurt/No Comfort

☆ Warnings: Major Character Death (Not the Readers)

★ Extra: Angst is fun, angst is nice :)) // Might make another part with different characters if this does well // Not fully proof read // Motivation came back cuz of sad tunes/hj

He said he'd be back, that it'll be quick. Despite your worry, you knew he was strong, so he'd be able to protect himself right? So you trusted him. Trusted him so much that when his co-worker showed up to your door with an expression you couldn't exactly read, you were confused. It was about him but...he was fine right? Then why were they telling you he had passed? The injuries he sustained was...to much for his body to handle? The healers couldn't help him? But...he said he'd be back...you were snapped out of your thoughts when they handed you a letter with your name on it. "I think he knew he wouldn't be able to make it...so...he wanted you to have this...even if he couldn't hear your answer"

"To My Dearest,

If I'd ever be lucky to even call you that. Although this isn't ideally how I wanted to do this. I believe I can only get these things on paper, it's much too difficult otherwise. I was never good with words so I hope this alternative is alright for you.

Ever since the day I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were different. Not in a bad way. It took me way too long to figure out the reason for this was due to the fact I loved you.

I loved seeing your smile.

Hearing your laugh.

Loved the small talk we had that would end up with me taking you home. You made me feel something I didn't think I would ever feel, and I'm unsure if I even deserve it.

If I even deserve you.

Whether or not you feel the same way, I hope we can stick together as long as time allows us.

Sincerely

Diluc."

"To Y/N

Hope you're doing well, life in Meropide is still as dull as ever. Well, unless you decide to visit, you really do light up the room when you come by don't you? Or maybe that's just for me.

Anyways, preferably I would be telling you this in person, but more work has piled up. That's also why our little tea sessions have to be put on hold for now. Don't worry, as soon as this all clears up and I investigate this one area, then we can go back to the usual.

I have this one blend I think you'd really like!

Anyways, enough beating around the bush.

I like you.

Like like you.

I love you.

So much.

I can't even begin to describe how much I love you, and even if I did I feel you'd be gagging at how cheesy I was being haha!

But really, I love you so much. I want to be with you, of course I understand if you don't feel the same. But Sigwinnie would have my head if I postponed this confession any longer.

I hope to see you again after my work.

Yours Truly

Wriothesley"

"Hello Y/N

I never thought I'd be writing this kind of letter in my free time. Unfortunately for me, it seems as though fate likes making things harder for me and whenever I want to even try to talk to you about this, it's much more difficult than it was when I practised in the mirror.

Or...

Well...

Practised to Tighnari.

We can ignore that for now though as I'm still trying to put this all together in words.

I would let you borrow my TCG set, you can use it as you please and I'd even let you touch my limited edition cards.

If that's not making any sense then how about a joke?

How does a fruit confess?

They say "Olive You"

.

.

.

Get it, because an olive is a type of fruit, and olive sounds like "I love"

.

.

.

I love you"

"My beloved rose

As much as I'd love to tell you all these words in person, my search for Idrila is still ongoing and I am unsure when I'll be able to see your beautiful face once again.

Ever since my eyes laid on your beauty, I thought I had found Idrila herself, but once I got to know you. Even if you weren't the Goddess, you could almost rival her.

The sparkle in your eyes.

The pretty little smile.

Your wonderful personality.

All those things you think are flaws? I love each and everyone of them. They are not flaws to me and it pains me knowing you think of yourself like that.

Once we meet again, I want to make sure you know how deserving you are of these words, how your 'flaws' aren't flaws and how much I love every bit of you.

Though I am aware I find many things worthy of praise. I want to let you know that you're different.

I don't just want to praise you, compliment you. I wish to love you, hold your hands and protect you with my life, no matter what it takes.

I love you so much, and if I could be so lucky to call you mine. Well, I think I'd be the happiest man alive.

I will return soon,

Signed

Argenti"

"Morning, Afternoon or Night

I'm not too sure when the Cloud Knight will give this to you, or when I'll give this to them. Whatever the case, I won't beat around the bush too much.

I love you.

Nothing could compare the feeling in my heart when I see you.

The smile that will never fade as long as you're there by my side.

You are just amazing. In all my years of living, never would I have thought to have met someone as perfect as you.

Even Fu Xuan herself can see just how enamoured I am for you, although for her. She's been using it as an advantage to do work.

'If you finish now you can see them quicker'

'How would they feel knowing that you're not working?'

'Stop dozing off or they won't come to see you ever again!'

I must admit, they all do work. Even if in hindsight, not only would I still see you even with work uncomplete, I'll see you plenty of times and more to come but I don't think you care all too much about my sleep.

But I digress.

I hope this letter finds you well, take as much time as you need to consider my words and think about your own feelings.

I'll be waiting where I always am.

Jing Yuan"

"Dear Y/N

Aeons this is embarrassing. But it would be even more embarrassing if Serval kept teasing me about this. I've been putting this off for so long, worried about how you'd react.

Your answer.

And if this would change your view on me...but you're not that kind of person. I know you're not. And after a bit of thinking, to save me from stumbling on my words. I decided to write a letter.

Serval should be the one giving this to you, so I hope she didn't say anything to you, I would nearly die of embarrassment if she did. Anyways!

So...I know it's probably not much hoping Serval wouldn't say something actually, knowing her, she gave it away with one sentence but...

I like you, a lot. More than you could ever know.

And I'm more than happy to talk to you about this in full once I'm back from my mission.

I can only pray you feel the same, but even if you don't.

I hope we stay friends.

Until next time,

Gepard"

WOOO FINALLY GOT THIS DONE AFTER FOREVER.

Sorry if any characters are OOC, I tried my best with writing what I think they'd write in a confession letter, but I hope you enjoyed this anyways!

[just-a-creep-babe]

Caught (NSFW)

(Creeps x Male! Reader)

Commissioned by @taboo-delusion tysm!! I really hope you enjoy 💖💞✨💖💓

Requests are closed but commissions are open!

Masterlist: x

BEN Drowned

When he first agrees to go for a snack run at the old abandoned gas station, he doesn’t expect it to be eventful

Despite being abandoned, the place is semi-regularly stocked by the proxies to use as a last-resort shelter and supply hoard in case anyone needs it

So it’s not like the building is used to seeing a lot of traffic, much less any kind of excitement

Which is why he never, ever in his undead life would have expected to walk in on what he does

Just barely half-concealed near the back of the store, BEN does a full-on double-take as he sees the newest member of the mansion naked, his legs spread and his cock hard and twitching as he pumps a gun in and out of his ass

It completely stuns BEN in place

He can't tear his eyes away from the shiny barrel rhythmically pounding in and out of the new guy's slick hole

With a low, whiny moan, he screws his eyes shut and throws his head back in sheer bliss, and it's like that's just enough to snap BEN out of it

He ducks behind a nearby shelf, the ghost of his heart pounding in his chest, and he prays he didn’t get noticed

When the faint moaning doesn’t subside, he realizes he’s probably in the clear

BEN counts down from ten to catch his breath, and then, with the adrenaline coursing through his system, he sneaks another peek

It’s filthy, perverted—a complete lack of respect and total breach of trust—but how could he not?

Acting on instinct, he whips out his phone, aims it at the pornographic scene unfolding just inches away from him, and hits record

Bloody Painter

It isn’t a particularly eventful night for Helen at first

Alone in the studio, inspiration just isn’t coming to him, and he finds himself zoning out in front of an empty canvas, hoping to get blessed with the miracle of motivation

When his phone buzzes, he initially doesn’t think much of it

It’s only when he opens it to a particularly interesting video that his lackluster night suddenly takes a turn

In a shoddy, poorly-lit building, the video cuts straight to the point with a guy squirming and whimpering, fully naked on the ground

He's fisting at his dick, whining under his breath, and at the same time, he's bouncing his ass against something dark and metallic

Squinting, Helen zooms in to confirm his suspicion; he’s fucking himself on a gun

If he wasn't so entranced by the sight, Helen might’ve wondered why the fuck this was sent to him

But his mind is suddenly blank, and the one thought he has left is who the fuck is that guy?

He racks his brain trying to think of anyone who might fit the description

And, suddenly, he realizes—that’s the new guy

The faintest hints of a smile ghost over the artist’s lips

He finishes watching the video, picks up a paintbrush, and brings it to the canvas

He gets the feeling that his next piece is going to be very inspired~

CandyPop

Candy generally doesn’t get too involved in whatever happens at the mansion

He gets along decently with some creeps, but he either doesn’t care about the others, or he’s grown to fully hate them over the years

Despite that, however, he adores meddling in other people's business

So when word starts spreading that the newest creep got caught and filmed jerking off with a gun, Candy just knows things are about to get exciting~

He asks around for a copy of the video, and right from the first watch, he's fascinated by the newest member

He can’t help but think what a good pet this creep would be to have around

Like, he seems kind of masochistic, a possible exhibitionist, and he likes receiving?

Sounds like way too much fun~

He watches the video an unhealthy amount of times, and although he isn’t welcomed at the mansion, he makes it a point to somehow meet this guy

The video gives Candy way too many ideas—which, for a demonic clown, is most certainly not a good thing

Unknowingly, it seems like the new guy's sexual habits are already garnering attention from some pretty dangerous entities

Whoopsies!

Clockwork

Clockwork regularly goes to that gas station

She likes the quiet solitude it offers, not to mention the weirdly cozy vibes and decent array of snack foods

So, naturally, when Toby suggests the snack run, Nat is one of the first to agree to join

She beelines it to her favorite spot in the building, the employee break room near the back, and as she approaches, she actually hears the new guy before seeing him

Is that… moaning?

Curiosity getting the better of her, she follows the sound

And right as she's about to stumble in on the big reveal, she's grabbed and yanked behind one of the nearby shelves

Instincts kicking in, she nearly punches BEN right in the face, but something stops her before she does

That look on his face

She pauses, notices the phone in his hand, and, combined with the sounds she's hearing, everything makes sense

Her face immediately flushes

Before she can stop herself, her eyes shift to the spot at the back corner, and, surely enough, she sees what’s happening

The new guy throws his head back, his body convulsing as he shudders and his cock twitches and throbs

He pumps the gun in and out faster, harder, like he’s approaching his climax

Before she can see anything more, before she violates his privacy any further, Nat spins on her heels and gets the hell out of there, too flustered to say or even do anything else

Dark Link

Like Candy, Dark doesn’t typically keep up with whatever the hell kind of nonsense happens at the mansion

So he only discovers the video when he's snooping through BEN’s files in an attempt to get the upper hand in their rivalry

As soon as he sees that video file, he knows he's in for a treat~

The guy, who he assumes must be a new member, isn’t too bad on the eyes to begin with

And when the video pans down to get a better view of just what he's using to jerk himself off, Dark needs to know more about him

He rummages through a few more files to find out more information on him, just for the fun of it

He honestly doesn't expect to do anything with the intel, but the deeper he looks into it, the more he wants to meet him

The more he wants to torment him

Technically, however, being on neutral terms with Slender means that he isn't allowed to do such things to members of the safehouse

So Dark realizes that he, unfortunately, will just have to wait for him to step out of the mansion's boundaries before trying anything a bit more... risky

If they do end up meeting, he plans on using the... intimate knowledge he has of him to embarrass him

And if they don’t meet anytime soon, he’ll simply have to content himself with replaying that video over and over and over again~

Eyeless Jack

Being more of an introvert, Jack doesn’t join the outing at the abandoned station

But as soon as everyone comes back, he can tell something is a bit… off

After cautiously asking around to find out what happened, he finally gets BEN to show him the video

And, let’s just say, Jack’s never been happier to have a mask concealing his face

He only lasts a few seconds in before telling BEN to turn that thing off

From an outside perspective, it probably looks like he disapproves of the creeps violating the newest member’s privacy

Which, to be fair, he does

But, more than that, he’s just really flustered about the whole thing

He doesn’t know how he’ll manage to face the new guy again

The next time they meet, Jack tries to act cool and natural, but he completely fumbles the bag and gets visibly flustered

If anything might tip the new guy off that something funky's going on, it's probably the way Jack acts around him from that point on

Homicidal Liu

Since Liu rarely uses the shelter of the mansion, it also takes him a while to find out about the incident

By the time he discovers it, chances are, the new guy knows he got busted, so most creeps are already in on his dirty little secret

It’s therefore a huge relief when the new guy initially meets Liu, and Liu doesn't seem to know about it

Their first meeting goes well, but, unfortunately, it doesn’t take long for Liu to find out about the video anyway

The difference between meeting the newbie normally and seeing how depraved he is when he's turned on is shocking

Next time he runs into him, it's almost hard not to gawk

Poor Liu gets too flustered trying to talk to him after seeing that side of him, so he inevitably ends up retreating into himself

Which gives just enough space for Sully to show face

And whew boy is Sully ever ruthless with the intel he has

They probably give the new guy whiplash if he wasn't previously warned about Liu's alter

As much as Liu was sweet and accommodating, Sully, on the other hand, takes pleasure in embarrassing the new guy until he’s squirming

He borderline starts degrading and dirty-mouthing him right then and there

And, unfortunately for the newbie, he very quickly becomes Sully’s new favorite plaything~

Hoodie

Also part of the gang going for the snack run, Hoodie has a sneaking suspicion it's going to be an eventful outing

Not necessarily because of anything, mind you—it's just a sort of premonition, if you will

And yet, even despite his intuition, it still catches him off guard when he hears that faint moaning coming from the back of the store

The sound leads him to BEN and Nat acting strange behind a shelf hidden off to the side

They don't notice him, so he stays just out of their line of sight as he peeks around the corner to the source of the quiet, shuddering breaths

And he absolutely can't contain that shit-eating grin on his face as he finds the newest member of the mansion unknowingly responsible for all of the agitation in the store

Fisting his cock, he quietly mewls and whimpers as he grinds his ass down against something long and hard that looks kind of familiar

Leaning in as much as he can without jeopardizing his hiding spot, Hoodie finally realizes what he's masturbating with

He’s about to pull out his phone, when Nat briskly turns and leaves

Right at the last second, he ducks out of sight, and when the coast is clear, he starts his own recording of the action

He doesn't know if he'll use it for blackmail, or just for his own... personal fun, but he figures it'll be useful to have, either way~

Jane the Killer

She originally hears the gossip about the new guy being an exhibitionist when she's out of town

When she returns to the mansion, Nat explains what happened, and Jane just doesn’t know how to react

He got caught doing what where??

She meets the newbie not too long after, and all she can think about while trying to make casual chit-chat is that she knows

She, for obvious reasons, doesn’t want to let on that she knows, and thankfully, her mask does a great job of concealing her expression

He doesn’t seem to notice what she’s thinking, and their interaction goes over pretty smoothly, all things considered

She gets the impression that he isn't a bad person, despite whatever kind of sexual habits he has, so she actually doesn't mind him

She's really not the type to kink shame, anyways

And so, after their meeting, Jane makes it a point to shut people down when they try to make rude or disrespectful comments about him

She hates bullying, and she's not afraid to stand up against assholes, even if she's alone in doing so, so she grows to become really protective of the newbie

She absolutely doesn’t let anyone tease him or make any kind of jokes at his expense

Whether he knows it or not, the new guy owes her big time for defending him so much

Jason the Toymaker

He’s one of the first “outsiders” to originally hear about it

He actually even gets his hands on a copy of the video

At first, he plans on using it for blackmail material as well

But as he watches through it, he can’t help but think how the new guy would make such a good addition to his collection of dolls

He could probably make him so nice and malleable, so deliciously obedient oh so easily~

And, really, he thinks, the mansion is already so full of creeps as is—would they really miss one measly little member?

Something about it—something about how pure and innocent, yet filthy and depraved the new guy looks as he fucks himself with a weapon in an abandoned gas station—it just kind of riles Jason up

And, being a very obsessive demon, it isn’t long before he realizes how badly he'd love to abduct the new guy and claim him

He thinks about all of the weapons he could use on him, all of the places he could test and push his limits to

It gives him way too many ideas

He makes it his goal to add him to his collection of dolls, and he’ll wait as long as it takes to get what he wants

Jeff the Killer

Jeff is minding his own business, for once, at the gas station during the snack run when he gets a text from BEN telling him to come to the back of the store

When he hears the faint moans and whimpers, he thinks BEN is playing some kind of prank

But boy is he ever wrong

He walks in on BEN sneakily filming the new guy, who’s bouncing up and down on a gun and panting like a depraved whore while he does so

Like most of the others, it takes him a second to process what he’s seeing

There’s no way he just walked in on that

He's too surprised to pull himself away at first, and when he snaps out of it, he realizes he's enjoying it too much to leave

He watches the whole show, even as the new guy starts moaning louder, even until his body starts shaking and his cock starts tensing and twitching as he approaches his peak

He can’t look away as the newbie throws his head back, plunges the gun as deep as it’ll go inside him, then cums all over himself in a sticky white mess

As he starts coming down from his high, both Jeff and BEN quickly sneak away to avoid being seen

And although Jeff doesn’t usually like newbies, he figures he might make an exception for this guy

Unfortunately for the new guy, however, Jeff's love language is bullying

And what he saw at that gas station is just perfect bullying material

And he doesn't plan on going easy on him just because he's new

Kate the Chaser

Since she’s antisocial, she’s hardly ever at the mansion, even despite being a proxy

She mostly just hangs around abandoned buildings, caves, half-decrepit huts in the woods—that kind of thing; and she feels very protective of those places

So when she senses a group of people wandering through what she’d consider her abandoned gas station, she makes sure to keep a close watch on everyone

She doesn’t actively see what happens with the new guy, but she definitely hears about it when everyone’s leaving the place

By overhearing bits of conversations, she's able to piece together what happened, and she develops a certain curiosity about the new guy

Kate teeters between states of consciousness, where, most of the time, she’s almost basically feral

But every now and then, remnants of her old humanity peek through

And hearing about this new guy somehow brings bits of her old self out, which piques her interest

It’s like a mix of curiosity and sexual fascination that has her sticking around to watch the new guy stumble his way back to the mansion

And even though she’d likely never confront him on her own, she secretly hopes that she’ll stumble in on him doing something like that again

Alas, until that day comes, maybe she’ll content herself with merely stalking him for now

Masky

Even though he and Hoodie are almost always together, he doesn’t join the group at the gas station

He needs to rest and recover, so he hangs back, but he immediately knows he missed out on something big when Hoodie comes back

And when Hoodie shows him the video, Masky's furious he missed out on it

Honestly, he gains some respect for the newbie for being so ballsy to pull something off like that

Unlike a lot of others, it doesn’t really affect the way he interacts with him afterward

He doesn’t get flustered, doesn’t tease or bully the guy about it, he doesn’t even mention it because, in Masky's opinion, it’s not that big of a deal

Really, all it does is make him more interested in seeing what other tricks the new guy has up his sleeve

He wouldn’t mind personally finding out about them~

Other than that, if he sees other creeps being excessive about their commentary towards the newbie, he’ll also shut them down alongside Jane

He figures it must suck for the poor guy, so he tries to minimize the damage however he can

Jane and Masky honestly kind of become the new guy’s lifeline after that incident

Nurse Ann

She also only hears about it much, much later since she usually stays off the grid

She’s masochistic, sadistic, and hypersexual, so she definitely gets having more… deviant sexual urges

Not to mention, with the sheer amount of strange people in that house, it really isn’t surprising that at least one of them would pull that kind of stunt

She doesn’t think too much of it as she goes about her work, but every now and then, she’s suddenly reminded of it out of nowhere

And she can’t help but think how fun it would be to use someone like that in her experiments~

So she keeps an eye out, and, similarly to Kate, she also hopes to have a random run-in with the new recruit

Honestly, she doesn’t even know who the new creep is or what he looks like—even if she did run into him—because they all look the same to her

But she knows that if she did get the chance to run into him, she also wouldn’t go easy on him

Honestly, Nurse Ann is definitely one of the more dangerous creeps, so garnering her attention is almost never a good thing

The new guy's unknowingly put himself in a lot of danger by attracting so many outsiders' attention

Offenderman

Oh, he absolutely adores hearing about this new creep~

He’s not technically banned from the mansion, but he’s on thin fucking ice, so he knows to be careful when he visits to meet him

Preying on people’s sexual urges is what he does best—it makes it all the easier to mold his victims into perfectly obedient little slaves~

So this new guy has him salivating at the thought of kidnapping him

Try as he might to be subtle about his intentions to whisk him away, Slender is, for obvious reasons, fully aware of what he’s trying to do

So new security measures are reinstated at the house, and the new guy is placed under extra protection

Which might be confusing to the new guy, since he doesn’t exactly know why he’s being so carefully protected

Why would anyone even care about a random newbie like him?

Even if he tries to ask Slender what the reasoning behind all the fuss is, Slender won't tell him because just knowing what Offender does can be risky

To counter the new safety precautions, Offender might try to bribe and manipulate creeps from the inside

And who knows; maybe one day, Offender will finally slip through Slender’s cracks and snatch up his prize~

Ticci Toby

Oh god oh god oh fuck

Initially the first one to suggest going for a snack run, he somehow blames himself for stumbling in on the new guy doing the dirty

He’s the first one to discover the scene, even before BEN walks in on it

And as soon as he sees it, as soon as he sees the new guy naked with his legs spread, squirming and whining with the barrel deep inside of him, Toby’s face goes red

He’s so close he can practically hear the slick sounds as he humps the weapon like a depraved little puppy

He’s frozen for a few seconds, too stunned to react, but once he comes to his senses, he immediately gets the hell out of dodge

But he doesn’t even make it all that far before he realizes—shit

There’s at least, like, five other creeps in here that might stumble in on him

He’s paralyzed in place as his mind races to figure out how to get everyone out without raising suspicion

But before he can think of a plan, BEN stumbles in on it and it’s all over

Not knowing what else to do, Toby practically makes a run for it because the secondhand embarrassment is too real

He comes face-to-face with Cody as he’s leaving, and when Cody asks what’s wrong, Toby blurts everything out before thinking twice

Needless to say, he’s insanely embarrassed about the whole thing, even though he’s not even the one who got caught

Poor guy can’t look the newbie in the eyes for a good few months after that incident

X-Virus

When Toby mentions a hideout off the side of an old highway, of course Cody wants to check it out

He thought it would be a nice, chill way to spend his evening, so you can just imagine his confusion when he runs into Toby, who looks like he just saw a ghost and is on the verge of crapping himself about it

Before he can even open his mouth to ask, Toby blurts everything out, and Cody is thoroughly stunned

The new guy is doing what? Here? Right now??

He can see that Toby is visibly shaken, so he does his best to calm him down

But the whole time he’s talking Toby down, all he can think about is how he wants this damn conversation to end so that he can go off and have a quick peek of his own

Like—it’s not his fault the new guy’s cute

And, surely, one quick little peek wouldn’t do anyone any harm, right?

Once Toby bails, Cody doesn’t think twice before going to the back of the store

A few creeps are huddled behind a shelf, watching the scene intently, and Cody gets his own spot to watch the show

He was already interested in the newbie before this, but now?

Oh, now he definitely wants more

Zalgo

The fact that he’s essentially the lord of the underworld, it’s nothing short of a miracle that news reaches him about a new sexually deviant creep

And at first, when the news does reach him, he honestly doesn’t care too much about it

Like, he’s basically the lord of sin—it takes a lot to impress him, even regarding sexual tendencies

It’s only one day, when nothing seems to be exciting him in the underworld, that he finally decides to investigate the new guy

What he discovers is actually fairly interesting, especially when he notices that other creeps and demons have developed an interest in him too

It means that the newbie might actually be more valuable than Zalgo initially realized

He gathers more intel on him, sending a few demons here and there to stalk him, all while remaining under Slender’s radar

And it, admittedly, is a long shot, but there’s a chance that this new guy might play a role in freeing the lord of the underworld from his imprisonment

He lays low for the most part, so it's not like the new guy is ever made aware of his presence, or even his existence as a whole

But the beginnings of a plan slowly yet surely start taking shape

Who knew such a small little mishap could cause such a stir?~

[satanlikesmyfics]

Lavender

pt 1

read pt 2 here, pt 3 here

an: sorry if this lacks build up or logic:( not proofread

words: 1415

contains: dealer!ellie x f!y/n, weed/alc mentions, intoxication, fingering, tit sucking, police busted party

dealer!ellie

while you wander around the dimly purple lit room, your mind is starting to blur. you went to this party with some of your friends, although you can't seem to find them anymore. you left to explore the place your at since it's at an abandoned place, and who wouldn't find that interesting? you sit down on a red, ripped sofa with the smell of weed and alcohol surrounding you.

ellie's been walking around bored for the past 30 mins. she's seen everyone leave home with someone or hook up in some creepy room. wondering why it was even a good idea to show up, she just thinks of the wads of cash she earned selling her overpriced weed. no one around really knows how much that shit costs, so it's easy to rip people off. she remembers that she still has a bunch of weed and rolls herself a joint, sitting down on some junky looking old sofa. in the corner of her eye she spots some stunning girl she's never seen around before. your black, tight dress catches her attention and she turns slightly to get a better look.

you notice ellie staring and blush slightly. you've heard a lot and seen her pictures, sometimes romantizising about her even... you've never even met, you're so fucking weird for thinking of her that way. she probably is straight or has atleast has a girlfriend, you think to yourself, making fun of the fact you think of her. ellie leans slightly towards your ear and asks your name. "me??" you give her your rather surprised answer. what the fuck would she want from me?? "yes you, bunny. you manage to stutter your name and look away, surprised by the name she called you so casually. "y/n? I thought I heard your name before." "shouldn't you be looking for your girlfriend or something?" you ask looking back up at her, attempting to figure out her exact status. maybe you'd even have a chance?

"girlfriend?" ellie responds in confusion. your eyes widen in hope. the sudden sirens catch you off guard though, almost everyone looking out the nearest window in unison. "oh fuck" ellie mutters and grabs your wrist. "someone called the damn police" she shouts over the panic and pulls you away from the crowd. you don't fully comprehend what's happening but don't want to do anything else but follow her. stumbling through doorways and rooms a wave of fresh air hits you suddenly and you gain control of your thoughts again. ellie, still having a firm hold of your wrist looks back at you in confirmation that you're still with her. obviously you still are, you'd never leave her, especially when these moments you've been thinking about are coming true.

"where are we ellie?" you utter. you're in some field full lavender. everything looks so blue and the pale moonlight slightly lights everything up. you look up the hill and see the police cars surround the place you just managed to leave. "did we escape them that fast?" you ask without expecting any answer. "come here sweetheart, you can use my jacket" ellie answers and lays her jacket down on the wet grass. you feel a tingle in the gesture and obey. her jacket feels rough on your bare thighs. your eyes wander to ellie, who's just settling down on the grass. while your eyes are on her lips hoping she can't see in the dim light, her eyes glance at your whole body, most of all your thighs. her pussy slightly clenches at the sight of your dress up so high, revealing so much. shit, she thinks, you can't just think of her the second you meet her in person. that's weird and creepy, and she doesn't want to be like that towards you, even though she can barely help it.

she holds the joint up again delicately, which she lights once again since it had died down after the escape. "can I have a hit?" you ask. you don't really care about the drug, more the indirect touching of your mouths and the way her fingers move. she holds it towards you and you inhale deeply, coughing it out again a bit. you feel so dizzy and hazy you practically fall onto her lips. "what the fuck?" ellie asks after pushing you away. "I- I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to do that-" you reply embarrassed. "no no, please y/n, I liked it, I promise" she reassures "I'd gladly like to continue you know.." she pats her lap, signaling you to take a seat.

her lips suddenly crash onto your again, and you melt into the hungry kiss. she kisses you again, and another time, you can't keep count because it just turns into a makeout session. her hand pushes up the back of your neck into your hair and the other rests on your torso. you push your body further against hers and she moans into your mouth. she spreads out her jacket on the field and lays you down, her getting on top. her hand squeezes your thigh firmly. "what are we even doing.." she mutters and kisses your neck passionately. "we don't have to.. it's okay..." you manage to answer. she looks at you and asks if you want to because she thinks your fucking hot. you giggle and kiss her again, continuing the session.

her hand starts to wander up your thigh and you shiver at the touch. she marks your neck giving you harsh kisses and slides up your dress. you'd probably be embarrassed of you weren't intoxicated, but rn, you just want to enjoy what's happening with ellie. it's literally a dream come true and you don't want to fuck that up in the slightest. her hand starts rubbing your pussy through your panties and you let out soft moans, wanting more. your hand moves beneath her loose sweatshirt and gropes her tit. she starts moaning at the feeling of your cold hand. you pull the sweatshirt over your head and teasingly kiss around her nipple. you love teasing her, hearing her frustrated moans through yours. after her hand moves your panties to the side, you lick and suck and bite her titties. it gets increasingly harder the harder and faster the goes, through the mess of moans and pleasure and shaking you feel. your head slips completely out of her shirt and she laughs and kisses you more, slipping her thick and strong fingers inside of you. you let out a loud moan, feeling her massage your walls. the pleasure she's making you feel is getting overwhelming.

you've never had a real partner before, definitely not one as good as she's been. you've had a girlfriend who was pretty decent with her strap, and a guy who could fulfill your kinks. but someone who knew each moment to touch you? ellie could tell which spots exactly made you moan and shake and shiver, without touching you before this encounter.

snapping out of your thoughts, you let out a loud moan, arching your back further. "you feeling good baby?" ellie asks leaning down to your ear. "mhm" you answer and she thrusts her fingers deeper inside of you, making your eyes roll back in fulfillment. you've never been so close, so far on the edge before. you arch your back further feeling her going faster and faster.. mmhhmm..

"y/n?? y/nnnn.." you hear one of your friends shout maybe 100? meter away. both you and ellie freeze. she quickly pulls her out of you and wipes them on her pants without thinking. you sit up and pull your dress back down, noticing how cold it still is outside. "yeah I'm over here, I'm coming" you shout back. ellie gives you a quick kiss before you give her the jacket you've been laying on throughout the whole session. "keep it baby it's cold." she says, urging you to put it on and helps you get through the sleeves. "you go ask your friend simon for my number, she has it. text me. I want to see you again." "yeah, I will." you answer, still flustered. "good girl.. now get back to your friends and get home safely." you smile back and run over to your friend who's shouting at you to get it the van. you sit down and relax, thinking about the.. interesting.. evening you spent with ellie. "god fucking damn.." you mutter under your breath, driving away.

[ravenrothstr]

I SHOULDN'T HAVE MET MY IDOL

summary. y/n chasing her dreams of working as a graphic designer at SM to meet Jaehyun, just to find out expectations are different than reality

genre. idol! au, fluff

words count. 12.0k

disclaimer. the story is fully fictional. other names mentioned are just for the story and pure imagination, with no bad intentions

tags. @dulyrana

-- ★🎸🎧⋆｡ °⋆ --

You have been living in Seoul for almost five years now. Well, it wasn't the best thing that ever happened in your life but when you opened the email today, every bad day just flushed down the toilet in your brain.

Congratulations! I am writing to formally offer you the job for the trainee program on Graphic Designing and Creative Media for SM Entertainment Co. We strongly believe that your skills and expertise will help our company to reach great heights...

You read it twice, thrice, quadruple, quintuple and millions of times. It is just too good to be true. Tears stung your eyes like shards of glass, slowly recalling the hardships you had gone through throughout the journey.

--

It was cold when you finally left to finish your work on a Friday night during her first job in Seoul as an intern at a small firm. You looked at the phone to check the temperature immediately regretting how thin she dressed that day.

-11

The cold wash over your skin repeatedly as you freeze in front of the company. You threw your arms around yourself to hug, hoping to feel warmer. Just then, you heard footsteps approaching out of the company door in which you immediately recognised the person. It was your supervisor and head boss. You quickly gave them a warm smile and a gentle bow, although you were unfamiliar with that culture.

"Hello", you greeted. The head boss just grinned at you as he replied in Korean which made you struggle to understand but lucky enough to have your supervisor translating it for him.

"He's asking if you wanna join for a drink"

"Oh sorry, I can't drink"

"Ah it's okay, I'll let him know", just then the supervisor translated it to the head boss but a different meaning.

"Sir, she's not going. She's not like us", leaving a remark.

You definitely understood that, you managed to learn some Korean before she came here. The head boss gave you a side eye, looking down at you as he scoffs and heads off with the supervisor. You stared blankly towards their direction, hearing the supervisor continue to speak to the head boss. With the knowledge of the Korean language you knew, you mixed the puzzle of words to understand why the supervisor was complaining about you.

The supervisor had the right to complain, though, you thought.

You messed up big time that day. You had the design wrong again this time because you misunderstood the client during the meeting. It was hard for you to catch what they were talking about, every word seemed too fast for you and no one bothered to help or clear it out. By the time, the supervisor presented the new design, they were too furious. You had to remake the design repeatedly for the client until they were satisfied. They suffered a lot that day.

The emotions caught you as she looked down at the ground that is now turning into white snow. You dragged your feet to the studio she lived in, making your way to the bed. Thinking to yourself.

Have I made the right choice to come here?

--

This thought came up again when you was working as an assistant graphic designer at another firm when you witnessed the design that you spent sleepless nights on it to not be selected for the presentation. Your coworker, who had the simplest design, smiled widely when they presented hers in front of the client.

The unfairness killed your confidence as you grew smaller and smaller in the community. Sinking in the pile of majorities. With you timid attitude, it makes it easier to bully her at work. You did most of the editing, the hard ones, and the complicated ones and you never complained. Because deep down, you knew this work was what put the food on the table.

You closes the lights at the desk, making your way out of the office. You were again the last person to leave the office. Lifting up your face, you saw the snow falling to the ground. Significating another year's end. You took out the earphones you plucked them into your phone and brought it to your ear. Looking at your recent playlist, you picked a song for your walk back home.

Timeless - NCT U

You start walking back home as the song starts, it reminds you why you came here in the first place. It was no surprise to anyone that you would be moving to Korea since you were very influenced by the Korean industry ever since you were in high school. You loved everything about it.

Food. Music. Drama. Outfits and of course.

Idols.

Throughout the years, you stan a lot of groups but never beats NCT. It was everything to you. Your happiness, comfort, sadness. You named it. Nothing cures you more than them, same goes for other fans out there, you feel connected with them. Despite of being very immersed in fangirling, you is too just an average girl out there living her life.

--

“You really think I can have my internship in Seoul?”, you questioned your friend sitting in front of you.

"Of course, a lot of our seniors did it. You can apply for that program since you like kpop so much, you should go"

You shrugged your shoulders, even if you wanted to your confidence wasn't thick enough for you to crush all the obstacles you imagined and your friend was quick to notice that.

"Come on, y/n. You'll have fun there, and who knows you might meet Jaehyun. He's your bias right?", you smirked at her comment.

"He's everyone's bias. Besides that's too impossible to happen. You know fans and idols are separated by reality"

"And you know fans are dreamers, and you can't go into reality without waking up"

You didn't say anything. It was true that meeting up and being close to your bias is very delusional but as a fan who dreams for it to become true, you hold onto something called hope.

This memory was definitely a core reason for your hope to work somewhere near Jaehyun. The greatest thing about it is that you really loves your job and you love kpops. Therefore, you always find yourself pushing through the hardships of living there alone.

--

You stretched your neck from side to side as you relieved your tiredness from your work. It has been almost three months since you worked at SM as a trainee, and you like working there. Most of your colleagues treated you nicely, not to mention the bossy seniors but overall it was alright. However, it does dishearten the fact you haven't met any idol yet. You were starting to believe that trainees don't get any opportunities to meet any idols. Just then, you heard someone tap your shoulder softly. It was no surprise to you this time when you saw a familiar figure standing behind you. Your face immediately lifted up a smile.

It was your trainee partner, Beom Seok.

"Meet me at the pantry", he mouthed. You nodded as you headed to the pantry after him.

"Are you still working on the mood board for the new group debut concept?", Beom Seok asked leaning his back on the countertop and taking a sip of his coffee.

"Yeah, you know how fussy Daeun can be", rolling your eyes back as you stir your coffee next to Beom Seok.

He smiled.

"It's amazing, isn't it? You get involved in concept ideas for the new debut as if they are letting us decide what's the new trend-"

"Or our supervisor is just not that up to date with the latest edit trend of Photoshop so she's asking her little minions to explore it for her"

"Well, if you see it in that light. I can't stop you from being a pessimist, just like how you can't stop me from looking at how great you are"

You chuckled, Beom Seok is definitely a 'words of affirmation person' and he has a lot to share with you. The days go on as you continue editing your work, reconsulting it and repeating. She looked around the office to see who was still available. She felt relief when she saw Daeun and Beom Seok at their table. It was really a hectic week for them.

They decided to call it a day not long after, Daeun offered them to have dinner together saying she had to get rid of some nervousness for a crucial presentation but Beom Seok politely declined as he headed home straight away. Although you couldn't drink, you figured it wouldn't hurt to accompany Daeun. Besides, it was going to be at her apartment so you didn't have to send anyone home or worry about how to get back.

--

Your eyes widen when you enter Daeun's apartment. It was so white-coded, with the minimalist interior it makes the place warmer. Daeun opened her coat and tossed her keys at the table. Your eyes were scanning the room when you caught on something to your liking.

Regular-Irregular

"Unnie, I didn't know you liked NCT 127"

"Oh that?," Daeun responded while setting up the table.

"I was involved in their comebacks a few times before. Also, for the upcoming next year", she continues. "Tomorrow's presentation is about their comeback. It might be a bit tense even if they approved the concept",

You could only nod to her statement, not ignoring the jealousy you felt inside. In fact, you did come here with the hope of getting close to Jaehyun. Daeun showed you the ring book about their concept as your eyes read the title.

2 Baddies.

Daeun continued to show and explain to you about the concept, with the thought of her practising for tomorrow. You were all ears for it. With the cars and race suits, they're definitely gonna look amazing. As time passed by, Daeun took a sip from the glass. It was the fifth bottle of soju. Your eyes pulled closed at separate times as they fought to stay awake, the sleepiness was getting into you.

You squeezed your eyes shut due to the tiredness. The next thing you knew you were witnessing the sunlight rays through the sliding door across Daeun's living room. Your body shoots upright in the chair as your mind tries to deny the reality the sun is up.

"Daeun, you have to wake up or we will be late for work", you aggressively shake Daeun, hoping you shake her off from the drunkness.

But it was no use, she was still completely wasted from last night.

"Unnie you have a presentation today, get yourself together!"

Daeun begins to groan as she tosses and turns her body around. She was clearly not ready to go to work. You grumble in frustration.

"Daeun, I'll get going first. I am so sorry", you apologise. You quickly made your way out of Daeun's apartment and you headed to your house at the speed of light. Luckily, your apartment wasn't that far from Daeun's.

The clock on the wall of your office was showing you 15 minutes late. Your heart started pumping with the calves burning, breath forming clouds in the air from your face. Your feet fly over stones and leaves. The clock on the wall of your office was showing you 30 minutes late. when you entered. You tried your best to look calm in front of the others as you made yourself comfortable at your desk.

"Are you okay?", Beom Seok mouthed from his desk, next to you.

You just gave him a small nod and started to work as usual.

--

Daeun was nowhere to be found when they began to search her for the presentation. The voice of your senior teammate's roses as they called decline again. The clock struck near to 2pm, and the team got more and more restless of Daeun missing in action. You and Beom Seok kept your head low, trying your best not to get involve in this matter.

You secretly prayed for Daeun's appearance. You would be in great trouble if they knew you were with her last night. Just then, you heard one of your senior teammates answered a call.

"Daeun, where the fuck are you?!"

Your shoulders pulled back to the chair, letting out a long relief when you thought Daeun coming to the office anytime soon.

"What do you mean you're not coming? Did you drink last night?!", the senior scolded.

You could the shivers under your skin, making you turning into white. Daeun has always been a pain in the ass to the team but you didn't expect her to bail out on work last minute just like this. You tried your best to ignore the conversation and remind yourself it wasn't your fault for Daeun's action but you couldn't help when you heard the senior mentioning your name.

"You passing y/n to present because she revised the presentation with you?", the senior turned her head towards your direction.

Blood drains from your skin, and your entire body becomes impossibly still. There was no way they were letting you do the presentation just because your drunk supervisor said so.

Just before you can protest, you find yourself standing in front of the door meeting room with your other seniors rehearsing the presentation with them. They make sure to tell you all the ethics of the meeting and also remind you that the meeting will be recorded for their content.

"And also, there will be the members in the room so don't go throw yourself at them. Remember you are the concept creator and you must stay professional"

The comment made you stand rigid with terror, too overwhelmed to move. You're not ready for this, not in this way. But if you told your seniors now you couldn't do it, you felt like you were passing the burden instead of lifting it up for them. It's indeed your job and you are here for that.

You entered the room with your seniors and other teams. You assume they were all working together too for this comeback. The more you scan the room, the more nervous you get. NCT was definitely there at the end of the room with all cameras directing to them. What's happening was so surreal to you but you kept yourself composed as you focused on the meeting.

--

The presentation went well for you, although most of the time you were just filling it with compliments on how the members would look great with the concept because you had no idea what the presentation's content was. As soon as the director gave the cut queue, everyone started bowing at each other. The sight of NCT approaching you caught your eye and you immediately went into panic mode, making sure of a good impression.

You gave a smile and quick bow as soon you made eye contact with Jaehyun, the first member approached you. Feeling the butterflies in your stomach and your heart fluttering. Luckily he replied with the same smile before he spoke.

"Are you new here?"

"Yeah, but I'm just here to give the presentation on behalf of Daeun sunbaenim"

"Ah I see, I wonder too where was she"

He knew Daeun?, you scoff at the thought in your head as Johnny gets in your view.

"Well, hope to see you around. It was nice meeting you"

You again smiled uncontrollably at those words as you brought it to the dinner table with Beom Seok.

"I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE I NOT ONLY SAW THEM IN FRONT OF ME! THEY WERE CONVERSING WITH ME!", you said excitedly at Beom Seok. He only continued to grill the meat for you, just before you could continue fangirling Beom Seok raised his voice at the owner of the restaurant.

이모, 소주 주세요

"One bottle of soju, please". You took a hint he might be having a hard time at work today.

"Feel like drinking today? Should I invite Daeun?" you try to lift up the mood.

"No, it's okay. Just wanna have a drink with you"

--

"Beom Seok, let's get you home. You are really drunk now", tapping gently at his shoulder who's now putting his face down at the dinner table with a hand on the soju glass.

“You’re being… ridicu-lush… ’m not that drunk…”

You rolled your eyes at the comment. Beom Seok was totally wasted too at the other end of the table. And here you are, struggling with how to get him home after paying for the meal.

"Beom Seok, we need to get you home now", you said, trying your best to lift him up. Just as you made it to the door with Beom Seok, you caught into a familiar person covered in long black coat.

Oh my god

"Oh, it's you again", said Jaehyun.

"Hi-"

"This is really bad timing actually", you tried to laugh off the embarrassment.

"Are you okay? Do you need help?"

"Actually yes, he's quite heavy"

Is it really Jeong Jaehyun helping me?

He took Beom Seok's arm from you and continued to carry him.

"So do you know where he lives?"

"I- I don't actually too", Jaehyun laughed, clearly you guys weren't that close yet. Nor friends with benefits.

"We can take him to my apartment first, then we can search for his address"

"WHAT?! I don't think we are allowed to do that. Besides, if you know me, I should be the last per-"

"You're a fan, aren't you?"

The question caught you off guard, you could only stare blankly at him before Beom Seok's sudden nausea hit you back to reality. Seems like bringing him to Jaehyun's apartment was a good option.

You tried a few times to unlock Beom Seok's phone, while Jaehyun went out of the room to take off his coat. It took longer than you expected to unlock his phone. Apparently, the fingerprint or face ID wasn't working and now you had to figure out the passcode.

"Hurry up what's your passcode", you clench your hands in frustration, wanting to throw the phone away.

You closed your eyes, letting you a long sigh. This was one of the reasons you hate the idea of drinking. It brings you back to your childhood.

--

The image of your alcoholic father drunk on the sofa flashes before your eyes when you peck through the door of your room. Again today, he came in with another woman wrapped around his arms.

"Mom, are you done at the restaurant?". you said as soon as your mom picked up the call.

"I'm sorry dear, we're almost done. We're just closing, I'll be back soon I promise"

She said that every time.

And every time you called, you hoped for her to enter the house to witness this messy affair herself. Little did you know, the day your mom found out about the affair was the last day you ever saw your mother. If you knew she couldn't handle the news, you would have brought the affairs to grave. She must been having a tough time with her life.

--

"Hey, are you okay?", Jaehyun gently placed his palm on your shoulder, bringing you back to reality.

"Yeah, I'm just really tired"

"That's okay. You really should spend the night here-"

"NO", you quickly protest.

"I'm sorry, we should leave. I think his wallet is here somewhere and we can get a taxi from her-"

"I think it'll cause more trouble if you leave my apartment at night. I saw some sasaeng on our way back here"

You felt bad, this is your first time encountering your bias and you have caused much trouble for him. Seeing how persistent Jaehyun were, you decided to stay. Besides, he really didn't seem uncomfortable leaving the house at the moment after mentioning the sasaeng.

You opened your iPad as you made yourself comfortable on the sofa and started studying the repackage concept after the upcoming comeback for 127. Thanks to the impromptu presentation, you have the slides for the next comeback. You were focused on studying when suddenly Jaehyun went to you with a pair of white tshirt and a plaid sleep pants.

“Here, you can change into these if you want too and it’s okay too if your not comfortable doing so”

“Thanks, I’ll just stay in this outfit for a bit until I finish studying”

He smiled at you at your gesture, looking at how immerse you are at your job.

“So what are you studying?”, he asked as he sits besides you at the carpet.

“Well, from what i know this is the repackage concept for your comeback. You wanna have look?”

“Yeah, sure. Gotta make sure I look good in it”, he jokes.

You laughed at his actions. The night continues with both of you sharing experiences with each other, you share your concert experiences and how you ended up in Seoul while he shares TMI during their trainee's day. Both of you shared the warmth of the conversation together that cold night.

Later that morning, you left the apartment with Beom Suk once he was sober enough to walk. You made sure to thank Jaehyun for the night before you left.

—

As another Monday comes in, another chaos comes around. You and Beom Suk sat quietly at your desk, listening to the argument between Daeun and the rest of the team. Apparently, SM decided to sack off Daeun due to her inappropriate attitude lately.

It's been weeks since the Daeun incident. With no supervisor around, you and Beom Suk had little task to do and seems like everyone was just too busy for you guys. You question how the system and organisation really works. Regardless, you still try your best every day.

You sat in front of Beom Suk at the lunch table, your appetite was long gone along with your motivation. Beom Suk lets a sigh as he looks at you playing with your food. He saw 127 members entering the cafeteria. He thought it might be a good chance to lift up your mood, knowing how much you like them.

"Y/n, look it's 127", Beom Suk shakes your little hand, making you turn towards them.

"What's the use of that? Our work is not even close to that. We are to be sacked off too like Daeun unnie"

Beom Suk answered nothing, as both of you returned to your lunch quietly. Just as you entered the lift together with Beom Suk, you met the senior who was with you during the presentation.

"y/n it's been a while", she said, smiling at you.

"Hi, it's nice to see you too. This is my coworker, Beom Suk"

She exchanges bows with Beom Suk.

"I heard about Daeun resigning, it must have been a tough position for both of you"

"Yes, it is, do call us if there's any work we can help you with", you answered politely.

"Actually, we do have some work if you like. Do you have some time?"

You give it a look to Beom Suk, unsure if it's a good idea for both of you to jump at another team's work but you figured out Daeun used to be a part of another team as well and you guys had extra lunchtime so you decided to stop by. They showed you around with the NCT team, the album photo shoot, the fashion line and the choreography for the upcoming tour. It never fails to make you feel more proud of them.

Once the lunch hour was over, you and Beom Suk made your way back to your office floor and of course, you could not stop talking about how much you liked the concept and you had already imagined the fans (you) would react. His tender smile naturally reflected his genuine feelings, he was happy for her.

"But don't you think the youngest fashion designer looks familiar to you?", you asked Beom Suk.

"Well, I really couldn't tell. There were too many people back there"

Your mind went puzzled, you were so sure you'd made some of them somewhere but none of your memories rang the bells. You shook the thought off when the lift indicates the office floor.

--

"You think this colour suits him more?", Yun Hee asked.

"Hm yeah, Johny really suits any colour though but black does matches his hair"

"If then, let's go with shirtless! We can add more accessories", you were stunned.

"Suit yourself"

You have been visting 127's team lately with Beom Suk, the team also love that you were there often. They really appreciate your idea. You were there again with Beom Suk during their album photoshoot, lucky you, your design team allowed you and Beom Suk since there were not much work for you guys for the time being.

As you entered the room with Beom Suk, you can see the car in the middle of the set, covered with white wall around. When Yun Hee and the rest of the styling team entered the room, you knew the members was ready for the shoot.

"I think they look great!", Yun Hee whispered to your ear as she dash next you and Beom Suk.

You turn over your sight towards the members entering the room after Yun Hee.

You froze with your muscles locked in a momentary paralysis, surprise with the visual in front of your eyes. You felt your inner fangirl could scream any moment now, just like when they first appear at any concerts.

"Hey, didn't expect you here", Jaehyun said when he pass by you.

He was the last member to enter the room. It quickily snap you back to reality. Reminding you are here as a stuff at SM.

You were unable to think, you wanted to answer him perfectly that you eventually missed the chance. You just replied to him with a smile, as he made his way to the set.

The photoshoot went smoothly, you observe how they started editing the pictures as they also started shooting for the individual photoshoot.

Jaehyun started talking to you now and then whenever he was free, you were glad he did not ignore you completely after the incident at his apartment yet you can't help noticing youngest member of the fashion line had been eyeing you and Jaehyun all day. It definitely felt weird, more like she was stalking you.

"Are you feeling uncomfortable?", Jaehyun asked, he was quick to notice the situation.

"I am a bit uncomfortable actually, maybe it's because of the cameras", you lied.

"It's okay, just ignore them. You'll get used to it soon"

"You're saying it like I'm the one who is an idol", you joke.

"Well, if I would want to talk to you again, would it be in a situation like this too?"

Your mind went puzzled again.

"Do you mean you wanna talk to me more often?"

"Yeah, I would like to. It's nice to have a conversation like this once in a while"

A soft smile played on his lips, you stared at the in front of you. It cannot be more perfect.

You pushed the thoughts aside when they call Jaehyun for the individual shoot and offered you and Beom Suk to edit the photocards for the album, which both of you gladly took the job.

--

“Y/N?”

You heard someone calling you as you step out of the company, finally ending the day. It took you by surprise that it was the one was who calling you was the familiar fashion designer you talk about to Beom Suk the other day.

“Hi. I am Rose, I haven’t formally introduced myself to you”, she reach out her hand to you.

“Hi, odd to meet you here. Can i help you with anything?”

“No no”, she quickly cleared the assumption before continuing.

“I just wanted to invite you to dinner, since now we are on the same team”

She sounded very uncanny, but she was indeed really kind to the rest of the team and you wanted to get to know her more so you accept her invitation to dinner. It took you by surprise on how ordinarythe dinner was. Both of you exchanged stories and really had nice conversations.

“Are you 127 fan, y/n?”

“Yes, I am a fan. Although I do love my job as a graphic designer at SM, I won’t lie working with your bias is a good motivation”

“Is Jaehyun your bias? I saw you talking to him on the set today”

“He is, I’ve been a fan since-“

“Is that’s why you go to his apartment the other day?”, she confronted you.

That’s when it hits you. Rose was one of the sasaengs that waited outside Jaehyun’s apartment. Suddenly, everything makes senses to you.

Her gazed immediately changed when her intention was out. It creeps you out the fact she is working for the 127 inside the company. Having a lot of access and information about the members.

“You misunderstood the situation, Rose. It’s nothing like you imagined”

“I know it’s not like that, we know”, giving insight to you that she’s not the only one.

“I have an offer to make. How about you tell me about Jaehyun or what’s is in his apartment and we pay you and release a insight he is dating someone like you?”

You could not believe what Rose was doing. Of course it would be flattering that Jaehyun had a scandal with you but being paid for being in a scandal while you know it’s less that true is really beneath you. You felt insulted.

“I am not interested in selling Jaehyun’s name or to be in your dirty game, Rose. You know this is against the company and idols policy”

“We’re never know, y/n. I can already imagine how heartbreaking it is for you when Jaehyun reveals his true colours”

You remain silents. It is true idols are products of how the company have groom them to be and it will be devastating to know that they might not be the same as what you had pictured them. But you can’t let Rose get into your head, Jaehyun deserve to live as much as you do.

“Nice dinner with you, Rose”, you stood up from the table and leaving some cash enough to pay your portion of the dinner.

“You can always find my number in the group chat, y/n”

“Your just selfish because you couldn’t have your bias to yourself”, your turn your back to Rose, storming out of the restaurant.

—

Not long after, you and Beom Suk joined 127 team. Your previous team had a great conflict on the new upcoming team, where they are considering taking out some members of NCT. The conflict worsen day after day until they decided to discontinue the team for the time being. As a fan, you felt bad you couldn’t defend the members. The best you could do now is wait for the company to decide and give out an official statement before you and Beom Suk could continue your original work.

Today, you focus on editing the cover of the album. It’s due by the end of the week. The nearer the comeback date, the more workload you have. It gives you a lot of pressure, it’s the first time you handle editing for a comeback. You wanted to excel your work, especially for NCT.

Looking at the clock that strikes 10 p.m, you decide to wrap up your work. You search for Yun Hee, hoping she’s still around but she was nowhere to be found at her desk. So you thought she might be with the members for some measurements or final fitting.

You press the button to the practise room floor, you’ve been there a few times with Beom Suk when both of you worked on the content editing during the time both of you were waiting your own desk. Those moments definitely became core memories for you.

—

“Let’s have dinner together, y/n”, Johnny said to you, who was focusing on the editing.

“Pardon?”

“I said, let’s have dinner together. Everyone here is going. It’s hyung’s treat”, he grinned at the choreographer.

During that time, the incident with Rose was pretty recent so you thought it’s better for you to avoid being with them too much. Being at the practise room frequent was good enough for Rose to follow you around.

“I’ll have to rain check this one. I’m really sorry”

“Are you skipping dinner? Again?”, Beom Suk asked worriedly.

“No, it’s just that I really have to finish this editing so-“

“Y/n, it’s we have to finish this editing. Come on, I’ll help you out later”

“That’s not it, Beom Suk”

“Then why are you not going?”

Johnny quietly witnessed the situation, he too wanted to know why you have been skipping a lot of their invitations. At the corner of your eye, you can see Jaehyun was there too waiting for your answer.

It was hard for you to explain, you should told them about the sasaeng situation in the first place so that it won’t be complicated for you. You held back screams of frustration. Deep inside you felt mad at Rose for making you feel obligated to her, at the same time you were disappointed in yourself for being scared of her. It took a while for you to process your thoughts when you finally made the decision.

"You know what? Let's go", you said, closing the laptop in front of you.

Johnny and Jaehyun begin to grin ear to ear at your decision. On your way out of the building, the choreographer starts to counsel you on how you shouldn't stress out and give yourself a little fun along your career until all of you make it into the lift.

"Hyung, I think she gets it already", Jaehyun placed his hand on the choreographer's shoulder.

He certainly has saved you in that situation. You peek over your shoulders at Jaehyun. In moments of bliss, both lips curved into matching smiles.

All of you headed to the restaurant, and you tried your best to not walk closely or look too friendly to the members. You walked at the back of them, looking at the ground figuring out how things around.

"Y/N", you heard.

You immediately lifted up your head.

"Yes, Jaehyun. Is there something wrong?", you were concerned and he let out a chuckled at your action.

"I think I should be the one asking. You seem uncomfortable again"

"There's so much going on right now with the comeback", you tried not to spill out about Rose to him.

"Is everything okay? You know you can talk to me if you want to"

And that statement itself made you flutter, you smiled uncontrollably. Although you tried your best to hide it, it was pretty visible to Jaehyun. He couldn’t help but smile at you.

"I haven't sorted out my mind on this stuff that I'm not okay with, but I really should warn you to be careful with the people around you"

At the end of the day, you wanted Jaehyun to be happy and live comfortably just like a normal person except that you regretted saying that when his soft expression turned immediately to anger and worry.

"Has anyone been hurting you? You were blackmailed?", this was the first time you saw this side of Jaehyun and you wished it was your last.

"No, no Jaehyun. I'm fine. It's just I've been watching a few sasaeng fans videos during my work and it worries me that it's might be you going through"

Jaehyun came back to his normal state as you too tried your best to calm down.

“So your saying you want me to be careful of people around me?”

“Yes”

“Have you seen anyone suspicious around me?”

“Yes”, you spoke honestly, making an eye contact with him. He stared at your eyes, both of you stayed at that position for a while.

“Okay. I was about to tell you not to worry so much about things around and enjoy your times with us. Why don’t you help to keep an eye for me since I don’t know how is the suspicious person-“

You felt bad, you should’ve be the whistleblower and tell the company about Rose.

“And in exchange, I’ll spend more time with you”, Jaehyun continued.

“You mean more conversations? Because that’s the only thing we do”, you giggled.

“Yeah that would do, i can be your listener if you want someone to talk too. Plus, I like hearing you speak”

“Thanks, Jaehyun. I really look forward to that”, both of you smiled at your shared secret, making your way to restaurant to enjoy the rest of the night.

—

Once the elevator stops at your floor, you went straight ahead to the practise room area. You took a peek at the door, making sure it’s 127’s room before entering. You saw Yun Hee at the corner of the room measuring Yuta while the other members were practicing.

“Is everything okay?”, you asked, looking at how intense Yun Hee is.

“Apparently someone lose the measurements for the concert outfits, now we have to measure it all again”, she was so focus she couldn’t bother lifting up her face to you. You understood her actions.

“Was it you, Yun Hee?”

“Of course not. Do you think I take my job lightly?”

You were stunned at the sudden burst, Yun Hee was at her peck moment. Luckily Yuta was quick to address her.

“I don’t think she meant that way, Yun Hee”, he explained.

���It wasn’t her and I’m sure of it. The person who has been measuring us the same person all the time. It’s not Yun Hee”

“If she’s measuring it all the time, doesn’t mean she can use the previous measurements?”

“She doesn’t have all those, she’s new. I assume she lost the whole book or just didn’t bother to keep it”, Yun Hee spoke.

While you try to understand the situation, you heard the door swing open, followed with the sound of small steps close enough to tell they were running.

“There you are. You should be here the moment you lost the book”, Yun Hee said to Rose.

You didn’t like what was happening. Instead of helping Yun Hee, you questioned more Rose intention. Did she really lost the book or she’s just trying to get on people’s nerves? Yun Hee started scolding her, as you can Yun Hee has been in deep stress lately. The members are stop their practise and slowly approaching them.

It made you realise Rose really wanted to be noticed by the members. Regardless whatever it takes.

“Yun Hee let’s not do this here, you need to focus on what to do next”, you quickly reminded her before it gets worse.

Yun Hee looked at you sternly, as she let out a long sigh and looked at the ground.

“I’ll help you. We can get this done by tonight, I’ll call for Beom Suk. He’s always here”, you continued.

“No, we can’t. The members really need to rest tonight. We can’t drag any more time”

“It’s okay, Yun Hee. Yun Hee right, your name?”, Johnny asked.

“You can measure us quickly now, only we’re a bit sweaty now. Sorry about that. Here, measure me now”, he pick up the measuring tape and pass it to Rose.

Yun Hee smiled a little, she was glad to see people are willing to help. You softly put your hand at her shoulder.

“I’ll help too, okay?”, picking up another measuring tape.

Although you are not sure of what to do, but it won’t hurt to help. Jaehyun approach you while you were trying to figure out how and what to measure.

“Please measure me, miss”, he said, opening his arms straight to the side. Indicating he was ready, you laughed at him and played along.

“Okay sir. Please note this is my first time, I might need to measure you a few times”

“As you please, madame.”

You and Jaehyun had fun as you two played around when you measured him. Of course the other could see how the both of you enjoying each other’s company, so they let the two of you have sometime together.

“Y/N, can I check the measurements?”, Rose interrupt the laughter.

“Yeah sure, here is it. Is it okay?”

“Well, apparently there’s a lot weird measurements here. I think I need to remeasure him.”

She immediately took the tape and start to measure Jaehyun, pushing you slightly. Jaehyun didn’t like what he was witnessing, he reluctantly gave Rose a glare. Her intentions were clear to you, but you did not want to make things anymore complicated so you start help measuring other members.

The night was late after all of you finished with the measurements and as to make up to it, all of them decided to have some drinks that night.

You were about to make your way out of the studio along with other, when Jaehyun gently pulled your wrist.

“Hey, let’s walk together. To make up with the wrong measurements”, he trying to taste the water making sure your okay.

“Sure.”

The group disper off in their own direction heading towards home after the drink. Some of them were really drunk, unlike you. You're glad Beom Suk was there to make sure they didn't ask you much about why you weren't drinking.

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you home?", Beom Suk asked.

"Looking at your stand, I'll be the one walking you home. Thanks for offering anyway."

Beom Suk smiled at you as he waved at you before heading towards the opposite direction. Just then, Jaehyun ran out of the bar after you.

"Do you care for some midnight walks?"

--

Under the cloak of night, the Han River becomes a place of quiet contemplation. The rhythmic hum of traffic fades into the background, replaced by the soothing melody of crickets and the occasional splash of a fish breaking the surface. The city skyline twinkles like a jewel in the darkness and there was you and Jaehyun.

In the dark night, he sure shines bright to you.

You thanked all your bad days that led to this moment shared with him. Both of you stop at the fence of the river, looking down at the gentle waves of the river.

"Have you protected me today?", he broke the silence.

"I have", you said proudly, and he was glad.

"Funny how some of us come here, feeling depressed while some come here, feeling content", you continued.

"So how do you feel?"

"Healed."

He admired how you were able to feel content and appreciate the days, even when they were tiring or difficult. The more he got to know you, the more he could appreciate his own days.

"You are truly the strongest person I know, y/n," sliding his gaze slightly towards you as you did the same.

"I have great motivation here", you said smirking.

"What's your motivation?"

"NCT"

Both of you laughed at the answer. It felt a bit awkward for you to say it in front of a member, maybe because you never had to chance to join any fan meet or win a fan call event. Even though, saying it through fan meet and fan call would definitely be less embarrassing.

"I admire how fans have us as motivation and their pillar strength, making tough times easier. I envy that sometimes", he opened up to you and you listened to him dearly.

"What will shine the brightest to you will definitely come to you during the darkness. You'll find your light, trust me. You're my light!"

Jaehyun felt pleased listening to you. The night ended with you and Jaehyun walking down the street heading home to rest, filled with laughs and giggles along the way.

"I wish we could do this every night, it will heal me", you joke.

"Then let's do it."

Their gazes locked, and time seemed to pause, an eternity encapsulated within a fleeting moment following Jaehyun's heartfelt statement.

You contemplated what to answer him, and in that moment of uncertainty, you simply bid your goodbyes and headed your way, leaving him alone on the street, pondering the depth of your interaction.

--

“You looked really tired. Do you want to take a day off? I can help you out with the works”, Beom Suk looked at you worriedly.

“No, I’m really okay”

“Do you perhaps still hangover from last night?”, Yun Hee asked.

“No, Y/N don’t drink.”

“Thank you for remembering”, you grinned at Beom Suk.

As the members and rest of team entered the meeting room before they start the short briefing for the comeback and schedules. There will be a tour this time, it will be more work for the team and the members yet you can see how all of them were happy for this opportunity. It has been a while since they had a tour, looking at how much work they will be doing later really shows you how much NCT has grown.

“And that is all”, said the team leader, indicating the end of the meeting.

“Oh and the graphic team, don’t forget to submit the album for printing”, he quickly added.

You and Beom Suk nodded.

The editing team was chaotic that evening. The deadline for the album printing is today, and all of you gave out your last 100% for this.

“Please make sure you check the folder before sending”, the team leader reminded you and Beom Suk.

Both of you struggled with saving and making sure none of the graphic are pixelated. After so much trouble, you check one last time on the folder and clicked send.

“We did it”, Beom Suk reached out his hand for a high five to you as you replied it.

You sank your weak body into the chair, ready to end the day at the office.

--

The comeback happens smoother than you could have imagined. Everyone's spirits were high, eagerly anticipating the tour and embracing their new schedules with enthusiasm. Your friendship with Jaehyun continued to progress, deepening over time. Well, you didn’t go to Han River every night, but you and Jaehyun find time for each other perfectly. Moreover, you found yourself gradually overcoming your anxiety about Rose. Nothing could go wrong, you thought, as you filled your heart with each passing day.

You were making your way at the bar with Jaehyun, laughing on today’s inside jokes together. As you approach the red tent, Jaehyun automatically rise his hand lifting up the tent for you.

“Ladies first”

“Thank you”, you replied.

It took a while for you to search for the rest of the team and members. Most of the tables were taken by the time you reached. Although in the mid of your search, Jaehyun froze when he noticed Daeun at the table with the rest of them.

“Y/N, Jaehyun, over here!”, they called for you.

The rest of dinner was delight for you, it has been a longtime since the last time you met Daeun. You excitedly told her how well the concept is been going for the team that you. However, you couldn’t help but noticing how Daeun has been exchanging and taking glances at Jaehyun who was beside you at the table throughout the night.

It did made you feel uncomfortable, it felt like you were holding Jaehyun back from something so you decided to go out of the tent for a while with faking that you wanted some fresh air from the smell of alcohol and Daeun did seize the opportunity to approach Jaehyun.

Through the tent, you can see Daeun absolutely hit it off with Jaehyun.

“They really look good together”, Johnny said, taking you by surprise. He went out for smoke when he saw you peaking on them.

Only god knows how much you wanted to scream “NO!” on top of lungs to Johnny’s question. But again, you’ll suffer more living in this imaginary world of yours.

“Yes”, you answered. “They would be a perfect couple.”

Daeun comes over to talk to you when you return to the bar, but is only met with awkward conversation instead of the same boisterous talks you had. You wanted to blame it so much on Johnny’s statement that melded in your mind but deeply you know you was just upset if wasn’t you.

You would be lying if you say you didn’t cry yourself to bed that night.

“At least it’s sends me to sleep”, you thought to yourself when you woke up with puffed eyes the next morning.

Regardless it didn’t stop you from work. With those eyes, you sat on your desk the next morning and continue editing. Shallowing all the pain and heartache you felt last night.

—

The atmosphere among the office workers is tense and fraught with unease as you arrive at the desk that day. Beom Suk and the other colleagues are frantically searching through files or documents, while the team leader is furiously typing emails and making urgent phone calls. Your emotions run high, with feelings of anxiety and perhaps even panic palpable in the air. You aren't sure what's going on in the office.

"Yes, we are very sorry. We will address and amend the cover straight away," you hear the team leader say on the phone.

Your eyes widen in alarm. It was you who emailed the cover for printing. Just then, the team leader calls her out to the meeting room and scolds you about the mistake on the cover. Apparently, SM had printed out the album and released it. Soon, the fans noticed Doyoung was not on the cover, and the situation went viral on the internet.

As hard as it is for you to brush off the emotions, you begin going through the files again and resending the correct folder for printing. Despite the lingering anxiety, you focus on rectifying the mistake and ensuring that the issue is promptly resolved. Once the situation is handled and the correct files are sent, you step out of the office to take a moment to calm down. You sat on the bench on the terrace alone with your coffee when a familiar figure came next to you.

"Hey", said Beom Suk, you felt calm again.

"Can I cry now?", Beom Suk immediately taps on his shoulder and shoves it slightly towards you, ensuring you he'll be there for you.

It made you smile, even with tears rolling down your cheeks. You lean on towards him, putting your head on his shoulders.

"Beom Suk, I have something to tell you"

"What is it?"

"I didn't send the wrong file"

“What?” he asked, as if he hadn’t heard what had been said.

"I checked the files before sending, in fact, Doyoung was the last person I edited so I remember it clearly," you explain, trying to ease his confusion.

"I'm not sure how, but the email was sent twice, and the second one wasn't from me," you add, feeling a pang of frustration at the situation.

"Well, do you know who it is? You should really clear out your name," he says, his tone edged with frustration as he tries to stand up from the bench, ready to confront whoever is responsible. But you quickly reach out and hold his arm, stopping him.

"It's okay, you'll find out who it is later. Let's just stay like this for a while," you say softly, wanting to diffuse the tension and find solace in each other's company amidst the chaos.

That night, the members invited you out for a drink again. However, halfway through the evening, you begin to feel uneasy about being with them at the moment. You decide to personally apologize to Doyoung for the mistake. Thankfully, he forgives you and offers you some comfort, reassuring you that he didn't take it personally and urging you not to worry about it.

Grateful for his understanding, you thank him sincerely before excusing yourself from the bar. Despite their invitations, you feel the need to retreat and process your emotions in solitude, hoping to find clarity and peace of mind away from the distractions of the night.

At times like this, you can't help but feeling sad, wishing you could stroll along the peaceful Han River with Jaehyun by your side. But ever since that night with Daeun, your once-close friendship with Jaehyun has faded, The silence between you weighs heavily on your heart, leaving you feeling lonely. Despite longing for his company, the unspoken tension makes it difficult to bridge the gap between you two.

--

“Where have you been? Aren’t you supposed to protect me?”, Jaehyun smirked.

“Oh sorry, Jaehyun. Things got messed up again”

“Great, I like messes!”

You laughed.

“No, you don’t”

“I do, come on tell me what’s going on. You left the bar alone again last night”

The image of Jaehyun hanging around with Daeun flashes back in your mind. It was almost like your still at the bar.

“Nothing that big nor about the comeback, so don’t worry”, you continue to march on with your arms crossed, hoping Jaehyun would scoff off any minute but he caught you arm holding you back.

“Y/N, do you not want to talk to me anymore?”, he looked serious.

“Not today, I’m sorry”, as you push his hands away from you and walk off.

As you expected, he didn't try to stop you from leaving. You glance back at Jaehyun as he walks away, feeling regret. You realise you've become used to getting what you want lately, and now you're feeling greedy for his company.

You forget your thoughts as you see Rose passing by the corridor. Without hesitation, you march towards her and quickly grab her wrist.

"What are you doing?", she struggles to release her hand from your grip.

"I'm letting you know that the tricks you are playing are not funny anymore and you should stop hacking into someone's computer", letting go of her hand.

Rose smirks at you with a wicked gleam in their eyes. Behind those eyes, she enjoys how agitated you are. She can't wait for the next evil scheme.

"Looks like reality is finally hitting you, y/n", Rose said to you, making you frown.

"You really don't scare me, Rose"

"Of course, I don't. Your job will"

"And Jaehyun's true colours with do it themselves to you", she added.

You strode away from her, your footsteps thundering down the hall. Clouded by a storm of emotions and rage, you feel torn. Protecting Jaehyun means everything to you, yet your job is equally important. Juggling both was taking its toll, gradually wearing you out.

You were about to pick up a tray as you arrived at the cafeteria when Beom Suk approached you.

"Hey, have the team leader spoken to you?", grabbing your attention.

"About what?" you ask, your tired body making its way through the food section.

"The tour, we're coming with them"

You flinched at his words. After Rose hinted at her sinister intentions, you couldn't shake the feeling that it had something to do with the concert. It seemed like she knew all along that you were going to follow them on tour as well.

"No", you protest.

"Yes, y/n. Remember when you told me you wanted to travel a lot during your 20s? This is a perfect opportunity"

"Perfect opportunity for Rose", you thought.

Beom Suk was right. After returning from lunch, the team leader called for a meeting and announced that you and Beom Suk would be joining 127 on tour to work on the stage graphics. While others congratulated you happily and mentioned it as an opportunity to become a permanent member, your heart couldn't fully embrace the joy. Instead, anxiety crept in, overshadowing any sense of excitement you might have felt.

—

After weeks of sleepless nights, this morning you marked crossed on the calendar at your house, looking at the reminder that you wrote on today's date.

TOUR TRIP D-DAY

The nerves crept in, making the moment feel surreal. It seemed too good to be true, yet you knew deep down that you deserved this opportunity. You and Beom Suk had worked tirelessly for this comeback and tour, overcoming countless obstacles. Through all the challenges, you poured your heart and soul into your work, and now, you found yourself at the top. Despite the anxiety, you wanted to allow yourself to feel proud of your accomplishments.

"Hello, yes, Beom Suk?" you picked up the call, abruptly halting your daydream and bringing you back to reality.

"Hey y/n, sorry to break it to you, but we're having a serious problem with the flight tickets," Beom Suk's voice crackled through the phone.

"What do you mean?" you asked, your heart sinking.

"I'm with Manager Hyung right now, and it looks like our tickets, along with Jaehyun and Taeyong's, were not booked."

"WHAT?" Your disbelief echoed through the phone, mingling with a rising sense of panic.

You made your way to the company straight away after the phone call. As you reached the advertising and promotion floor, you spotted the member gathered on the couch near the entrance, their expressions reflecting a sense of hopelessness. A wave of pity washed over you, stronger for them than for yourself.

The manager went to get their flight tickets earlier this morning when they found out the reservations had been mysteriously cancelled by someone in the company.

The atmosphere filled with frustration and anger grew as they tried to rebook flights at such short notice proved difficult. Hours passed with no solution in sight. Jaehyun and Taeyong sat quietly, tired and disappointed.

In a tough decision, they sent Jaehyun and Taeyong back home temporarily while the rest of the members and team proceeded with their scheduled flight. It was hard, but it was the best decision they could make.

As they bid goodbye, promises were made to keep Jaehyun and Taeyong updated on the situation. With heavy hearts, they watched their friends leave, hoping for new tickets soon.

You remained there with Beom Suk, both of you tiredly trying to sort out the situation and waiting for the staff to deal with the new tickets. Taking a seat on the couch, you let out a long sigh of exhaustion. With your eyes closed, you lean back, resting your head against the soft cushions.

"Are you okay? You've been staying up the whole week to finish this work", Beom Suk asked, he was worried for you.

"I'm a bit tired, I should be sleeping on the plane by now"

"Just hold on for a bit, okay? It will be okay soon", you nodded to him.

After what felt like an eternity of waiting and uncertainty, a sense of relief washed over the room as the staff finally announced that the new flight tickets had been successfully booked.

You and Beom Suk exchanged tired but grateful smiles, your weary expressions giving way to a glimmer of hope. Both of you quickly gathered your belongings.

--

As you called Taeyong and Jaehyun for the pick-up at the airport, your heart sank when Jaehyun didn't answer his calls. Concern etched into your brow as you tried multiple times, each attempt met with the same silence.

Thoughts raced through your mind, imagining various scenarios that could explain his lack of response. The driver wasted no time and headed straight to Jaehyun's apartment. You and Beom Suk hurriedly made your way to his building, heartbeats quickening with each step. With the passcode provided by the manager, you swiftly punched in the numbers and the door clicked open.

Your eyes widen as you entered Jaehyun's apartment. The smell of the house felt familiar to you, even some of the stuffs seems familiar to you. Although it was hard to recognise where you seen them. Just then you found yourself in front of the master bedroom, the door was slightly open enough to have peek in and the view was a disappointment to you.

Clothes shuttered on the floor, both a man and woman clothes. You gather up all the courage you ever had in you as you lift up your head to the bed. You saw Jaehyun's naked body, sleeping with his arms wrapped around Daeun's naked body.

"At the end of the day, Jaehyun is a man of his own and I am a delusional fan", a bitter realisation settling in your heart.

As your eyes slowly turning into glass, Beom Seok quickily reach out the door knob slamming the door close. Hoping it was enough to wake up the lovebirds inside.

"Hyung, your flight leaves in 3 hours we need to go now", he screamed from the door.

Beom Seok turned his gaze to your stone figure. He knew how much Jaehyun meant to you, caught Jaehyun in bed with someone who is close to you definitely breaks your heart in pieces and Beom Seok can see that through your eyes.

"Y/N, please grab Jaehyun's luggage and passport at the living room. Take it down at the car, okay? Wait for me there", he said as he bends down to catch your eyes.

You wiped the drolling tears across your cheeks and responded to Beom Seok's instruction. The next thing you know, you witnessed Jaehyun and Daeun bid goodbyes. Giving them one last kiss before all of you made it to the airport after picking up Taeyong.

The fans ran everywhere, pushing each other and flashing their cameras and phones at them. Your body was definitely exhausted by now as you tried your best to make it through the crowd of fans following Jaehyun and Taeyong. As you continue walking, you feel your leg trembling like a jelly. With no hesitation, you held on to Beom Seok's wrist for support and whispered.

"I can't stand"

"Hold on to me, we'll find a place for you to sit at the gate", firmly fixing your hand on his arm, both of you continued walking like that until the gate.

Jaehyun watched the scene unfold with a heavy sigh, realising the toll their fame was taking on you. It pained him to see you and Beom Suk caught up in the chaos, especially now that you had witnessed his relationship firsthand.

Finally reaching the gate, you collapsed into a weary nap against Beom Suk's shoulder, the exhaustion of the day finally catching up to you.

"Y/N, we need to board the plane now", Beom Seok shook you gently.

"Oh really? Thank you Beom Seok, for letting me lean on your shoulder"

"No problem Y/N, you really needed that nap", he replied as all of you made your way to the plane.

"Yeah, I'd love to continue that in the plane. I'm reserving your shoulder again," Beom Suk smiled at your statement as he glanced at your boarding pass.

"But Y/N, your not sitting beside me"

"What?", as you searched for the seat number on your boarding pass.

Your heart skipped a beat when you made eye contact with Jaehyun as both of you boarded the plane. The stewardess asked for your seat, and even Beom Suk refused to believe it.

"I'm sitting next to him", you said to the stewardess.

--

Jaehyun helped put your bags in the compartment above before both of you made yourself comfortable in your seats. You remained silence at your seat, giving Jaehyun the cold shoulder, still hurt by what you had witnessed earlier.

Jaehyun, sensing the distance, felt the guilt for the discomfort he had caused. He gently reached out to offer you a blanket, and headphones when your's didn't work, and even adjusted the air conditioning, hoping to provide some comfort during the flight as he was determined to mend the strained relationship.

You stubbornly ignored his gesture, your gaze fixed firmly out the window. Jaehyun was unfazed by your actions and persisted, quietly asking if you needed anything or if you were feeling alright.

As soon as the flight dims the lights to indicate nighttime, your emotions overwhelm you once more. Tears welled up in your eyes as feelings of betrayal washed over you, you wondered why Jaehyun had toyed with your feelings if he wanted to be with someone else.

Trying your best to conceal your sobbing, you assumed Jaehyun was asleep. But as you struggled with your tears, a gentle hand reached out to touch your shoulder, surprising you. You turned to find Jaehyun looking at you with concern, his eyes filled with empathy.

"Y/N, are you okay?" he whispered softly, his voice laced with genuine concern.

You longed for Jaehyun's comfort and presence, but the reminder of his relationship status held you back. You missed him, yet you couldn't ignore the boundaries.

You couldn't bring herself to open up to Jaehyun anymore.

"I... I don't want to talk right now." you declined Jaehyun's offer of comfort, your voice trembling slightly.

It pained you to push him away, but you couldn't ignore the reality of their circumstances. With your decision you turned away, seeking solace in the solitude of your thoughts as you grappled with conflicted emotions.

--

As you reached the destination, you, Beom Suk, and Yun Hee went on an exhilarating tour of the country, exploring its sights and immersing yourselves in its culture in every free time the three of you had aside from work. Every moment was filled with laughter and joy as you created cherished memories together.

Meanwhile, the members dedicated themselves to rehearsals, pouring their hearts and souls into perfecting their performances for the upcoming tour. Their determination never wavered.

Amidst the excitement and busyness of the tour, you found yourself avoiding any mention of what had happened between you and Jaehyun. You pushed aside your feelings of sadness, burying them deep within as you threw yourself into the distractions of sightseeing and work.

One night, you found someone texting you in the middle of the night after work and the second you saw the text you knew who was it from.

‘Glad you found yourself a ticket to the tour. Suprise with his true colours yet? We are ready to have you here’

You were tempted to give out the details. It haunts you that you were tempted. The feeling of betrayal and anger lingers in your mind. Tears starts to gather in your eyes as soon you found yourself typing out Jaehyun caught in bed with ex staff, you couldn’t click send. It kills you to betray him.

He has nothing against you and so do you. Again, you reminded yourself what you use to tell Rose.

“Your just selfish because you couldn’t have your bias to yourself”

As you switch off the phone and tossed it aside. You tried your best to calm down, so you decided to go out of your hotel room and sit by the pool. No longer after, Beom Suk approached you.

At first, both of you shared simple and fun conversations but as time went on his usual cheerful character was replaced by a very serious look. You could feel the conversation getting deeper.

"Y/N, with what happened between you and Jaehyun, I just want to remind you it's okay to be sad and mad," he began, his voice barely above a whisper.

"But dwelling on those emotions won't change what happened."

You looked at him, each word carrying a weight that resonated deep within your soul. It was as if he had peeled back the layers of your heart, revealing the rawness hidden beneath the surface.

He placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. His eyes looked the same went he first offered you his shoulders, again he reminds you he'll be there with you for anything.

"I loved him," you confessed,

"And it hurts a little too much," your voice trembling with the rawness of your emotions.

The words carry out the heavy burden lifted from your chest. The emotions finally became too much for you to bear with tears welling up in your eyes.

That night, Beom Suk listened you tentatively. You told him everything that has happened between you and Jaehyun, along with the saseng you met along the way.

He comforted you with his words to your wounded heart. But as the night wore on, Beom Suk gently reminded you to focus on the task at hand – the upcoming tour.

"Y/N, I know it's difficult," he began softly, his voice filled with empathy. "But you're not alone. We're all here for you, every step of the way."

"Remember," he said with a reassuring smile, "fans are counting on us to deliver. Let's give it our all, together."

You nodded in agreement, grateful for Beom Suk's wise words and encouragement. Though the road ahead may be difficult, you knew that with Beom Suk by your side, you were ready to face whatever challenges came your way.

--

Bringing along the lingering tension between you and Jaehyun, you managed to pull yourself together for the tour, throwing yourself into your work with renewed determination. Each performance was a testament to your resilience, a reminder that you were capable of rising above the pain and focusing on the task at hand.

You also you had it enough with Rose after the night she texted. You realised that stooping to her level would only perpetuate the cycle of toxicity and invasion of privacy that had plagued Jaehyun's life.

So with Beom Suk encouragement, you courageously decide to report her to the company, determined to protect Jaehyun and members from the invasive tactics of sasaeng fans.

Soon the truth came to light – one of Jaehyun's stalkers was working at SM Entertainment, a breach of trust that sent shockwaves through the fandom. In response, the company took immediate action, terminating Rose's employment and sending a clear message that such behaviour would not be tolerated.

As the tour came to an end, you found yourself facing a new chapter in your career – working on the debut of a new boy group for SM Entertainment. The opportunity to spearhead such an important project filled you with excitement and anticipation, pushing aside the lingering thoughts of Jaehyun and the unresolved tension between you.

Yet, as the debut day arrived and the new boy group took the stage for their first performance, you felt a sense of pride and accomplishment wash over you. In that moment, all thoughts of the past were pushed aside, replaced by a sense of excitement for the future and the promise of new beginnings.

Years passed, and yet the situation continued to simmer, unresolved and unspoken, until this day. Despite the passage of time, the tension between you and Jaehyun remains an unspoken truth, a silent reminder of the complexities of love and the scars it leaves behind.

--

Jaehyun arrived at the wedding hall, he was dressed neatly in his black suit with his hair pulled up. An old man greeted him at the hall door which he assume is your father, soon he was escorted to his seat along with the members at the table.

"Glad you made it", Johnny patted his back, welcoming him next to his seat.

The light dimmed as they started the ceremony, all the lights reflected on the crystal chandelier making the hall look dreamy. The band starts playing a lovely melody at the corner of the hall.

"It's just too perfect", Jaehyun thought.

The guests began to clap their hands when they announced that the bride was entering. Jaehyun did not dare to face you, he kept his head forward to the stage while others were already admiring you down the aisle. Tangled with emotions, he knew he shouldn't have missed this moment of you. It might hurt him dearly but he would rather get drunk all night than miss your once-in-a-lifetime moment. He adjusted himself in his seat and turned towards to direction.

Your dress was serenely beautiful and looked ethereal in the soft light. With that smile you put on, it does show you are happier now.

He smiled, reflecting on the joy you brought into his life.

"She's really pretty", Johnny commented on the table.

"She is"

"Didn't you say you had a crush on her back then?", he whispered to Jaehyun.

"I did, it's just I found myself back to Daeun"

"Then, you should have married her!"

Jaehyun's eyes went back to you. How he imagine it was him next to you, instead of Beom Suk. Bitter truth, he was hopelessly in love with someone of the married couple.

"I should", he said while his eyes were serenade by you.

"I should have".

-- ★🎸🎧⋆｡ °⋆ --

[thesilmarillionblog]

𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭: 𝟕

Click here to read the first part.

Summary: You and Soldier Boy want to create a family and move on from everything, even the Vought, but you also know that he has to face Homelander one last time to keep his vow to Butcher. However, nothing turns out as you had hoped.

Pairing: Soldier Boy / Reader

Warnings: Heavy angst, hurt, memory loss, Soldier Boy acts like an asshole, distant Soldier Boy, reader gets hurt, language, drugs

Word Count: 5277

A/N: English is not my first language.

Chapter Song: 'Will You Remember?" by Sebastian Morawietz. ༊

4 Months Ago.

You and Ben were alone in the house just after Butcher and the others had finally departed. Finally. Since the two of you had just learned that Homelander was Ben's biological son, you had not spoken to him much, not knowing what to say. You didn't say anything until they left the house since you knew he wouldn't want to talk about this with the others. 

“Ben?” you asked, gently touching his rigid shoulder. You noticed that he looked completely confused and that he was tense from sitting on the couch, which was something you had never seen him like before, so lost and deep in thoughts.

You withdrew your hands from him, fearing that he would get enraged at you for not leaving him alone during that vulnerable moment, but he quickly came back to his senses and softly took your hand into his. 

You waited on foot while he cleared his throat and apologized in a rough voice. Something unsettling began to creep up on you. 

You questioned, unsure of whether he would want you at his side at that precise moment or to push you away, “Do you want to...stay alone for some time?” Everything was a total disaster. “I can leave you alone.”

Ben was the father of Homelander, undoubtably the worst man alive. It was planned, whether consciously or unconsciously, for Ben to murder his own biological son, which you knew Homelander had to die. The path was tough, and it was a dead end. 

“What?” With a harsh voice, Ben pulled you onto his lap and whispered, “Of course not; come here.” He planted a hard kiss on your lips to express his affection for you, and in an instant his words warmed your heart. “You say such silly things sometimes, baby.”

You appeared completely lost and furious for hours. You moved on his lap to properly face him and caressed his full beard, murmuring, “You didn't say much since then”  It was hard to keep your hands to yourself while you were with him, and you could see that Ben felt the same way. “I have no idea what to say at all. It's really awful; of all the things Vought had done to you, it's perhaps the worst—to find out he's your son. I can't believe it.” 

“He's not my son.” He shot back, fully denying the obvious. “I didn't raise him,” he said sharply. “All he is is a lab-produced product. Only a toy, nothing more.” 

You opened your mouth to say something, but he cut you off with, “He wouldn't even be here if I hadn't jerked off that day into a cup forty years ago. Fuck it. I should have had fucked into my hand.”

You let out a sigh upon realizing that he had returned to his old attitude and either didn't care or was good at concealing his true feelings. But you knew deep down that he was just not enthusiastic about thinking about Homelander. As he openly said, Ben had not raised Homelander. Vought raised him, trained him like a puppet. Between him and Ben, there was no emotional bond; it was all biological. But you couldn't help but be concerned about Ben and his actual emotions. You pondered if he was now or had ever desired to make a family of his own.

“Are you really okay though?” You said, stroking his neck and beard with your hands. You were momentarily at a loss for words due to the raw and intense way he was looking at you. “It must be too much for you to learn something like this. After all, such time had passed. I can't even imagine it.” 

Although you were unsure of how to help him in such a situation, you still wanted to try and console him somewhat. You felt useless and helpless since Ben always struggled to engage in intimate conversations.

With a sigh, his fingers moved compassionately and desirably along your legs and skirt. “To be honest, I was quite taken aback. I could never have imagined having a son even in my wildest dreams. It's been decades and it’s not very possible for supes to have children which you already know." 

“Yeah,” you said in a whisper, your heart curving with sympathy as you kept touching him tenderly. With remorse, you murmured, “I'm not even sure how or what to say to comfort you in such a situation.” You listened to his heartbeat while placing your hands on his chest, adding, “I feel completely useless right now.”

“Hey,” he said in a displeased tone and with a softhearted smile. “I don't need comfort or crap. You are everything I need since I am a man. I should be the one to console you as I am a man, right?”

“Do you really want to kill him?” you questioned suddenly, observing every expression in his eyes. Your inquiry seemed to surprise him, as if he had just understood that he would almost certainly be the one to murder him.

“Of course.” You were even more upset when he determinedly stated, “I'll keep my word to the others.” As if it were a mission, he was discussing the murder of his biological son. Ben's comments made you feel a little uncomfortable, even if you despised Homelander to the hilt. You weren't sure why. 

“Would you be able to kill him if you didn't make a promise to Butcher, though?”

Without hesitation, he answered, “Yes,” his eyes growing ghastly and disgusted. “I don't give a damn, not in the slightest. He's nothing more than another Vought product. I wouldn't give a fuck about Butcher and my promise to him if I actually cared about him.”

Believing him, you let out a big breath of relief. As he began to kiss you, you attempted to push the agonizing questions to the back of your mind, such as who the mother was and how he would react if he had a son back then, before he was betrayed by his team and Vought.

Being able to let everything go in that sincere and fragile moment of yours would be easier if you cared about him less.

That being said, it was a little uncomfortable and uneasy to think about how uncaring he was to his biological son. You pondered how he would respond or whether he could love your child as much as he loved you if you ever were pregnant. All you wanted was for things to be different, away from Vought.

In between kisses, he remarked, “What are you thinking that much and you're not focusing on me?” His hands on you were urgent and needy. It perplexed and annoyed him to see how uncomfortable you looked.

Muttering, “Nothing but us,” you put your hands on his warm chest and wondered what his reaction would be if you told him you were expecting a child. One day. If a miracle happened. “All I want is for this to end quickly, Ben. I want to be done dealing with Homelander, Vought, and all of them. I hate everything about them.”

“Of course,” he immediately replied in a firm tone as his fingertips softly stroked your back. “I also don't want to do anything for any of them. I'm far too fucking old for such things.”

“So you're accepting that you are an old lazy man?” You chuckled as you teased him, and when he brought up his age, both of your moods changed. His strength and appearance always gave him great confidence. “A total boomer.”

“Say that shit again?” He muttered with a rough voice and a sly smirk as he lifted your skirt a little and spanked your ass.

He stilled your body on his and grinned wickedly as you jumped on his lap, gasping in surprise. “Ow!” you exclaimed. You weren't anticipating a straight-ass-cheek smack from him. “You're an old asshole.” 

“Are you going to give me a kiss with that dirty mouth?” He drew you even closer to his body and said, “Since when did you start swearing like me? Amazingly bold of you to refer to that bad, mighty supe man as old. When did you start acting rudely, huh?”

“I wouldn't dare,” you chuckled and playfully moved in his lap. It made you happy to see that he was now in a good mood. “I don't know why I'm wasting my perfect young years with you, such an old, grumpy man.” You continued to tease him, smiling innocently at him. 

“I suppose you want me to spank your perty ass badly and give you a nice punishment; that's why you're acting like this, don't you?” He spoke harshly as his hands began to linger over your underwear beneath your skirt. 

You teased, “Will you make me say 'thank you, daddy' too?” 

His unexpected and sincere laugh made your heart melt with love and tenderness. Though it was really hard at times, it was amazing how much he had changed in a year and how your relationship progressed. Even though he wasn't the easiest man to talk to, you could see that he was making a great effort and trying his hardest to make it work. 

“Since Butcher and all the other fuckfaces are away from the house for some time,” Ben growled, his face darkening and promising as he began to pull up your skirt. “I think we can have our fun properly.”

You've begun using Temp-V in a few missions that involve a bit of risk. Butcher had given you that stuff two weeks ago. Ben loved taking you without worrying about hurting you in any way and used his strength on you as much as he could, and he liked it very much. Seeing his excitement when you had taken Temp-V made you feel better.

Ben had only fucked you twice when you were on Temp-V. Without that, you felt rapidly tired since he was too energetic for you, and it was difficult to give him what he needed because he was constantly holding back to protect you from getting hurt. 

That short-term drug worked really well, and you could tell Ben enjoyed it a lot since he finished and filled your insides with his cum numerous times, leaving you feeling satisfied in each and every cell. 

There were challenges in being with a supe, but lately, you and Ben were getting along very well. Considering all aspects. 

You lightly kissed him on the lips and placed your finger on his jaw, teasing, “I was thinking about sleeping early.”

He said, “Fuck no, it’s still early,” taking it seriously. It was midnight. “They aren't leaving us alone for a while, so we can't find some time to be alone and spend some more time properly nowadays. Besides, you're still on that Temp-V,” he said, gripping you tightly as though you would escape from him. “We shouldn’t waste it, right?”

You said, “You seem like you don't like me taking me anymore while I'm not on Temp-V,” clearly feeling a little insecure. You had no idea what to do if, for some reason, you couldn't find Temp-V to inject yourself. Everything would be easier if you were a supe, but that's not what you wanted. 

Ben said, “Come on,” and to your surprise, he gave you even softer kisses on the lips as a response. “I only like it because I can't hurt you unintentionally when you're on it.”

“You wouldn't hurt me,” you instantly said. You trusted him with your life. Even if he was unaware of it, he was showing you much concern when you were on Temp-V, and he was careful with you.”

“Never,” he said in a straight-forward and certain tone.

With his fingertips dancing across your back, he said, "I love you," tenderly. He had only said it twice, and you could see he meant it both times. Since he rarely liked to express his feelings so openly, you felt he would never say it again, but he had said it once more. There was nothing more real when Ben told you sweet things.

With one swift motion, he forced you to lie on the couch and gave you a passionate kiss without letting you respond. You believed you could express it back with your actions as your hands quickly drew him in closer and you savored his lips with equal passion. 

You hoped he understood how one word from him could instantly melt your heart. You hoped that one special, private memory of you would stick with you forever. 

Present 

“Will you respond to her calls, Butcher?” With her arms folded across her chest, Annie questioned harshly. She was examining every emotion on his face with a suspicious and inquisitive gaze on hers. 

With his hands on his head, he shouted out, “Fuck, what I'm supposed to say?” To set things right for himself and his team, he had to find the right words to say to you. Soldier Boy being free once more wasn't in his plans at all. 

“You need to have given this some thought earlier. From the start, we should have been honest with her. Why would you complicate things that much?” Annie expressed her displeasure. She knew how angry Soldier Boy must be, and it filled her heart with worry and distress. She hoped he had no kind of feelings for you.

“What truth?” With a sour tone, Butcher questioned. “She lost her memory, and we carried out the original plan precisely when we put Soldier Boy to sleep again. They fucking regularly don't change anything. What was I supposed to say? 'Hey, Y/N, you don't recall a thing, but you were fucking Soldier Boy.' Does that sound good enough, Blondie?”

Kimiko and Frenchie stared at Butcher cautiously while Annie grumbled and paced the room. They had to keep what had happened in that room months ago a secret; otherwise, Annie might lose her mind if she found out. Otherwise, they would be all killed. 

As Kimiko thought back to the memories of your asleep and pregnant body in the bed, she felt restless. She would have fought Butcher if she had been wiser that day, but she was aware that he had already slaughtered Neuman. She was being eaten alive by regret, and at that particular moment, she loathed Butcher. But her greatest loathing was for herself. She should have somehow stopped it.

Butcher just responded, “I'm going to talk to Y/N,” completely unaffected by Annie's worries and complaints. “Maybe she can help with Soldier Boy.”

Kimiko hoped that leaving you with Soldier Boy the day before had been the right move. If she was right about Soldier Boy's genuine concern for you, which she thought he had, then maybe you two could work out a solution to all of this and he would take good care of you. By leaving you with Soldier Boy, she enraged Butcher, but Kimiko didn't respond to his insanity or address any of his inquiries.

Annie remarked, “Soldier Boy must have told her everything by now,” as she considered the talks you two must have had. Fearfully, she shook her head. “It's all the result of your meaningless and foolish plans. How in the world are you going to murder both Soldier Boy and Homelander now? If Vicky were with us, maybe we could stand a chance, but you killed her too and ruined everything.”

Annie exclaimed, “Oh my god,” sounding as though she was having a hard time believing what she was hearing. “Are you hoping she'll help you? after learning of the relationship between her and Soldier Boy?”

Butcher cut her off with a cuff, “Relationship of my ass. He wouldn't even flinch if I didn't stop him from killing Ryan. In addition, even though she once loved him, she can no longer recall him. Discussion is over. Just keep your mouth shut and let me fucking handle this.” With a brief scowl, Butcher stated. After saying the last remark, he seemed to be reminding Frenchie and Kimiko of their secret and transgression by looking them in the eye.

At that very moment, Kimiko would definitely feel sick if she weren't a supe.

Soldier Boy replied in a sour voice, “Stop fiddling with your food. Didn't you say that you were hungry?”

You said, “I lost my appetite,” avoiding his intense stare as you sat at the table by yourself and observed him speaking on the phone with Homelander. Every now and again you looked at your own phone to see whether Butcher or anyone else had called. You were on your own and without answers.

Soldier Boy was busy talking to Homelander on the phone when he shot you a displeased look. You thought about finding out a solution about him that worked for you since he was desperate to find Cate, whomever she truly was. You didn't like it when he was being so insistent and obsessed with your previous version. Both of you yearned for understanding, but you lacked empathy and preferred to go your own separate ways.

It would have been simpler if he had simply allowed you to love him once more and let the past go. You were surprised to find that you would find it easy to feel things for him, and you didn't want to lose your distinctive persona by remembering things. Then, what would happen to you? 

While Homelander was telling Soldier Boy things, you observed him sit on the chair at your side. 

In a disgruntled tone, he inquired, “And when do you think you can find her?” Clearly irritated by your dissatisfied look on your face, You hoped she was gone forever or whatever. “It's important. I fucking have no idea.”

You were uneasy at the way he consumed you with his gaze. You wanted to make things different, to persuade him that memories didn't matter if you really loved each other. 

You couldn't help but feel a little satisfied when he violently hung up on Homelander's face. Perhaps Cate had really vanished, really gone. 

He asked, clearly annoyed that you were happy that he was unable to find her and let her toy with your mind, “Why are you so excited about?”

He was staring at you as you pretended to be eating something, saying, “Nothing.” 

“It is not possible for her to disappear out of the blue. I have no doubt that Vought will find her quickly.”

You questioned, “And then what?” His aloof and icy demeanor disappointed you. You couldn't help but feel insecure and offended since he seemed so different from yesterday. You detested how hurt you sounded at the time. “As much as she enjoys it, will you really allow her to rape my mind? How can you possibly be certain that she won't further play with my memories? She can do anything.”

Soldier Boy sent you a cold, hard stare that would instantly shatter your heart. “I won't let anything happen to you or let somebody else make things worse for us than they already are,” he added with determination. Even though you knew that all he wanted was for you to trust him, it was difficult to do so in light of what had transpired. 

“Why is giving me some more time and respecting my choices so  difficult for you?” You pushed the plate out of your line of sight and asked as if you were pleading with him to comprehend. 

Straight away, he replied, “Because I know you'd want me to bring you back and help you to recover,” indicating that he wouldn't be changing his decision. 

“And I'm telling you that I don't want it.”

“Jesus,” he murmured as he took the bottle on the table and started to drink right away. 

You said sharply, trying to persuade him that there was a chance you could get into even more trouble. “Even if I remember everything because of the supe you're trying to find, I won't forgive for not respecting my choices and letting some stranger play with my mind, ignoring all the dangers she might cause,” you said. 

“There's no motive for her to do such a thing, and she wouldn't dare. As far as I know, she works for Homelander; therefore, you shouldn't be concerned about it, okay?”

“It's not okay.” 

“Why you're so fucking stubborn?” How different are you now, Soldier Boy questioned, getting furious. Yes, you were stubborn in the past, but not to the same extent. Even though he tried not to feel irritated, he couldn't help it. 

“I'm not stubborn; I'm just trying to convince the man who loves my past version to be understanding for me a bit.”

“I understand enough. Everything will be well as soon as I locate Cate and heal your lost and confused mind. We'll both heal, you and I.” 

"I'm not sick," you said in a wounded tone as he persisted in acting as though you were a virus that needed to be eradicated. 

He said, rather frustrated, “You don't sound like it,” showing little sign of self-control. His patience was clearly growing thin. 

You didn't answer to him, trying not to notice how harsh he sounded. You were willing to make things right in your own way and were open to the notion of getting to know him again because of how kind and caring he had been yesterday and how he had held you close in the morning as though he genuinely loved you. But he was fixated on the past and so desperate to have your former self that it left you feeling helpless and unwell. As soon as Cate used her abilities on you, you knew he would return to his caring nature. That thought made you sick.

She would take you from him and return you to him. You would return and disappear. Just like he wanted. 

You were in excruciating pain from this thinking; you didn't want to feel that way about a man you had just met, but you couldn't help but feel miserable and wounded. Your fingertips traced the spot where, if it wasn't missing, the ring he'd given you should have been. You felt worthless and abandoned. Once again. 

Soldier Boy continued to drink as he watched your face fall and eventually stated, “I didn't mean that you're... sick or something,” in an affectionate manner. “I only want you to come back. I really miss you, us. At the very least, could you cooperate more?”

"It's hard to," you murmured. "You were different yesterday."

“I genuinely want to look at your side of the matter, but it's difficult. You are not giving me even a small amount of time. You're not aware of what I am feeling. I doubt you even care.” You said in a pained voice. “You are being harsh on me, impatient.”

Soldier Boy stood up and got some weed out of the drawer next to the coach. You silently watched him. He was a really attractive man—incredibly attractive. You could not help but be overcome with awe of him.

He glanced at you and grumbled, “I'm not harsh on you,” while preparing some weed for himself. You hoped you could go back in time to yesterday and act as though you remembered him, only to buy yourself more time and have him express his love for you. That way, you'd be enamored with him to believe everything he told you.

He angrily said, “I thought your behavior wouldn't change even if you lost your memories, but you changed, and it started to bother me,” which just made you feel more puzzled and sadder.

With a cracking voice, you questioned, “How did I change?” and a little smile to let him know you were willing to listen and see if it could be fixed.

You stood up and carefully over to sit by him. Your legs nearly came into contact. You were so far away now, yet it was crazy just how close you were yesterday to sharing such a private moment. As you watched him try to get high with so many drugs, you started thinking of ways to persuade him. It was frustrating the way he disregarded your question, but it was still worth making an attempt.

You managed to maintain eye contact and said, “If you give me enough time and let things develop naturally and let me get to know you once more, I would very much appreciate it.”

His voice was bitter as he pointed out, "There is a chance that you might never get your memories back," as if that were the worst thing that could happen.

“How awful would it be if you truly loved me? I'm here to tell you how eager I am to get to know you again.” You stated, attempting not to let the heavy sensation in your chest overwhelm you. “Would it be pretty romantic if we fell in love with each other again?” It was difficult to get through to him because you were getting turned down repeatedly in spite of your best attempts. You wondered why he was fixated on the earlier version of you and what actions you had taken that made him love you.

“I'm not going to throw away everything we have together,” he firmly replied.

You pressed, “It's not throwing away.”

“What is it then?”

“All I ask is that we let things unfold naturally. I do not want you to force me and abandon me to Cate's mercy. You seem to be throwing away me.”

“It'll only take a fucking minute to get you back. Fuck that,” he exclaimed fiercely, his rage finally taking him over.

Your heart was racing as you tried to get away from him because you were scared. Though you could not understand a word he was saying, you could hear him swearing. Perhaps you were foolish in your attempts to win him around to your way of thinking.

With regret, he looked at you but said nothing.

“I tried my best to believe you, even though I had just recently met you. Despite everything I've heard about you, I'm willing to get to know you, as you can see. But even though you say you love me, you don't even respect my decisions; instead, you just say you're bothered by me,” you continued, trying not to let your voice break into a sob-worthy sigh. “You're saying that you love me, but you don't give a single shit about nothing I say.”

Soldier Boy studied every expression on your face as he gazed at you in uncertainty. When your eyes locked, you realized how miserable it was that you were attempting to persuade him to give you a chance and allow you to be just yourself until your memories returned on their own. The fact that he truly desired you should have made you happy, but it didn't. If the same thing occurred to him, you believed you could accept all of his versions, you could love him over and over.

He was staring at you so coldly that you were afraid to move. You wanted to get near to him, touch him, and feel his hair between your fingers to find out how you felt about him. You also wanted to savor the moment and create new memories.

“Would you be open to getting to know me? To open up yourself to me?” he said in a cruel, suspicious tone. His voice was both menacing and promising.

With a quiet “yes,” your heart filled with a sense of hope.

He let out a “Hmm,” set down the weed in his hands, grabbed you by the hips, and made you sit on his lap with a swift movement. Your hands automatically went toward his powerful shoulders as you gasped in shock, and your eyes widened with surprise.

Your mouth dropped open, but you were at a loss for words. You kept your hands on his shoulders as he studied your face, his darkened eyes portraying a serious look. Though a little afraid to move, you wanted to feel his tense and strong body with a movement of your fingers. But you also wanted to show that you weren't afraid of him and that you meant every word you spoke.

For a little while, your eyes linked, and you said, “What are you doing?” because you were unable to be silent any longer. You were scared; he could smell your fear as much as your excitement.

His hands daringly began to wander over your body. “You told me that you wanted me to get to know you and vice versa, right?” he questioned. Your heart began to speed up even faster as soon as your cheeks reddened. You nodded to him, not daring to make a sound that would make you look foolish.

He stated, “You told me yesterday that you didn't want any sexual interaction,” staring deeply into your lips to the point that you felt your lips becoming dry. His gaze was darker. You tried to move around a little on his lap, but his powerful, rough hands prevented you from moving.

You blushed and whispered, “And you told me the same.”

“Well, I've changed my mind. And why wouldn't I touch you? In the past, after all, we used to bang every day. You let me come inside you several times,” he remarked cockily. His dirty words caused your cheeks to get flushed.

He said with the same attitude, “I miss the times when you let me fuck you raw.” You could feel the heat and desire coursing through his body, so strong you could sense it beneath your fingertips.

“You know I don't remember any of them,” you muttered, trying not to show your shy behavior and act like you were bold. It was quite a normal conversation.

“That's something we can fix, and it would be a good start for you to get to know me. Who knows, maybe I can fuck into our memories inside you.. naturally,” he offered. “Would you do that?”

Soldier Boy closely examined your eyes for any hint of fear, uncertainty, or hesitation. You knew that he would release you as soon as he saw one of them in your eyes. Your timidity began to disappear as you gave it considerable attention. If you could persuade him to give you a little more time, perhaps he would reconsider making you remember items that were in the hands of another Supe. You nibbled on your lip as you gave the suggestion serious thought.

You said, “Let me speak with Butcher and the others first.”

He surprised you once again and responded, “Okay.” He was still analyzing you with the same heart-melting look, which made you feel more at ease and relaxed that he was becoming somewhat better toward you.

“And there is something else,” Soldier Boy confidently remarked, his hands touching softly your back and legs. “You will use Temp-V while I take you. For a full day, it turns you into a temporary supe.”

Again nodding to him, you murmured with a little smile, “Okay.”

Perhaps it would help you recall things more easily, get to know him better, and understand the real nature of your connection. You probably had several sexual encounters with him because you trusted him when he said that you were in a relationship. After all, he was willing to let you speak with Butcher, so perhaps Temp-V was a means of shielding you from his strength.

⋆⋅☆⋆☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋆☆⋅⋆

A/N: I’m quite nervous about this chapter. I hope you like it. Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated. Remember that they keep me going hehe ^.^

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[soulofapatrick]

Secret's Out - Henry Fox x Male Reader

Summary: Henry comes to visit you at the Lake House to take a break from studying

Words: 1.8k 

Warnings: None really, heavy making out

Notes: I have one more Henry story in the works then an Alex one

Y/N’s POV

The summer sun bathes everything in a warm, golden glow as I sit by the window of the lake house, my heart beating a little faster with each passing moment. This place has become my refuge for the past few months, a quiet haven where I’ve immersed myself in my studies, allowing me to escape the world and focus. 

My heart and mind have been a whirlwind of emotions ever since I realised just how strong my feelings for Prince Henry were and how Henry wasn’t ready to tell the world. He wasn’t ready to share our relationship with the world, and even though it ached inside, I had agreed to wait patiently. Love is not about rushing someone; it’s about giving them the time they need to find their own comfort. 

A soft knock on the door rouses me from my thought, and I find Alex, my older brother standing there with a knowing smile. He’s been my confidant throughout this journey,, the one who’s listened to my heartache and dreams. 

“Hey Mouse,” Alex Alex's mischievous grin is enough to make my insides twist with a combination of nervousness and excitement. The nickname has stuck with me since childhood, a playful jab at my somewhat introverted nature. But today, hearing it from Alex feels different, almost like he knows something that I don't. "Ready for some company?”

“Company?” I respond, my attempt at casualness belying the fluttering nerves that seem to have taken residence in my stomach. My heart beats a little faster, and I wonder what Alex is up to this time. 

As I watch him step into the room, his vibrant energy filling the space, I can't help but wonder what my wild-child of a brother has in store for me today. Alex has been persistent in his efforts to drag me away from my books and studies, insisting that I need a break. Little does he know, this very house is where I feel closest to Henry, where I yearn for him the most, as it became our secret sanctuary a few months ago.

“I have a surprise for you.” Alex announces, his grin growing even wider. I raise an eyebrow at him, my curiosity fully engaged now. 

“A surprise?” I I echo, the corners of my lips tugging into a reluctant smile.

“Close your eyes.” He instructs, and although a part of me screams to hold onto my reservations, I comply. I shut my eyes tightly, letting my other senses take over. The rustling of fabric and the faint sound of footsteps gradually diminish as Alex seemingly exits the room. 

My world becomes a canvas of darkness, and my ears become hyper-aware of every little sound around me. There’s a quiet hush in the room, the kind of silence that’s laden with anticipation. I can almost sense the air shifting as Alex’s energetic presence departs. The room growing still, almost expectant, until a new set of footsteps grace the floorboards. These are softer, more measured, yet they send my heart into a frenzy. They’re familiar, like a melody that’s been etched into my memory. They’re the kind of footsteps that I’ve been longing to hear for four months - Henry’s footsteps. 

My heart skips a beat, and a rush of emotions floods through me. The surprise Alex had promised is becoming clearer, and my pulse quickens with every delicate football that draws nearer. It’s as if the distance between us is shrinking, and in this cocoon of darkness, I can feel him coming closer to me.  The soft steps seem to echo in the silence, a rhythm that syncs with the thrumming of my heart. They’re cautious yet purposeful, as if he's taking his time, just like he always does. I hold my breath, my body tensing with anticipation. The darkness behind my closed eyes feels heavy, but his presence in the room is almost tangible

And then, it happens. 

His presence envelopes me like a warm embrace, and the world outside of this room fades into obscurity. I sense his closeness, his warmth, and then I feel his breath, sweet and familiar, brushing lightly against my lips. Time itself seeming to hold its breath as our lips meet, and it’s as if every moment of separation melts away. His kiss is gentle but filled with a longing that matches my own, a testament to the months we’ve spent apart. 

His hands find their place on my face, cupping my cheeks tenderly, guiding me to my feet as if I were a delicate treasure he’s been yearning to hold. It’s a sensation that’s both electrifying and soothing, like coming home after a long and arduous journey. My lips parting slightly beneath his, welcoming him with an intensity that mirrors the love we share. It’s a kiss that speaks volumes, whispering promises of the moments we’ve missed and those yet to come. There’s a sense of completeness, of being in the arms of the one person who truly understands me. 

As our lips linger in that tender, perfect moment, I feel like I’m floating in a sea of emotions. It’s a kiss that defies the bounds of time and space, a kiss that shakes off all the stress and anxiety from studying. 

But then, with a gentle and lingering touch, Henry breaks the kiss. His lips part from mine, but his thumb continues to stroke my cheek, leaving a trail of warmth in its wake. He looks at me with bright blue eyes, glistening with affection and longing, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. 

“Hey,” he greets me quietly, as if speaking too loudly might shatter the fragile, scared moment we’ve created. 

“Hey,” I respond, my voice barely above a whisper matching the intimacy of the moment. There’s no need for grand declarations or elaborate words. He’s here, standing in front of me, and that’s all I need right now. 

Without a second thought, I stumble forward, closing the gap between us and wrapping my arms around him. I rest my head on his shoulder, finding solace in the familiar scent of his cologne, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, and the sensation of being enveloped in his warmth. Henry’s fingers gently card through my hair, a soothing gesture that sends ripples of comfort down my spine. It’s as if he’s trying to convey all the words he can’t express in this moment through the gentle caress of his touch. 

In a hushed murmur, he whispers soothing words, his voice a melody that dances through my ears, “I’ve missed you so much sweetheart.” He murmurs, lips brushing against my ear, sending shivers down my spine, “I love you, more than words can say. I’m so proud of you.” His words hold an intimacy that goes beyond mere declaration of love, a connection that has thrived despite the challenges and secrets that have defined our relationship. 

Before I can respond, henry’s lips find mine once more. And the world narrows down to the sweet sensation of our mouths meeting. His lips move against mine with a gentle urgency, as if trying to convey all the emotions he’s held inside during the distance between us. His hands are on my hips, guiding me backwards until my back hits the wall, the cool surface a stark contrast to the heat and intensity of the kiss. It’s a welcomed juxtaposition, grounding me in the reality of this moment, where the cool surface supports me as henry’s body presses firmly against mine. 

His lean, muscular form moulds against my own, and every point of contact sends electric shocks through me. I can feel the powerful rhythm of his heart, the warmth of his skin, and the strength of his embrace. It’s as if our bodies are trying to memories every curve and contour, as if they’re saying ‘this is how you fit with me, this is how we belong together.’

Henry’s hands roam my body with a touch that’s both tender and possessive. They glide over my waist, up my back and down to my hips, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. A strangled sound is swallowed when he rocks my hips forwards, erections rubbing in a delicious friction as he murmurs against my skin, “Fuck me Darling, I’ve missed you.” 

His lips leave mine in a slow, tantalising descent, trailing down my neck, one of his hands finding it’s way to my unruly locks and tugging almost painful to expose my neck. The sensation is almost painful, but the intensity of the desire that courses through me is undeniable. I arch my neck even further, silently inviting him to leave his mark, to claim me in this secret moment. 

His lips make contact, and the world seems to spin as a combination of pleasure and yearning courses through me. Henry’s lips are both soft and demanding, creating a sensation that’s nearly maddening. The pressure of his kiss sends a shiver down my spine, and I can feel the heat building between us, a wildfire of longing. His lips lingering for a moment, leaving a mark, a hickey, a visible testament of our stolen passion. 

And then, with a hunger that matches my own, he draws me back into a heated kiss, our mouths colliding almost bruisingly. His tongue brushes against my lips, seeking entrance, and I part them willingly, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Our tongues engage in a fierce, passionate battle for dominance, each of us seeking to convey the depth of our desire. It’s a dance of raw, unbridled need, a silent proclamation that nothing and no one can come between us.  

Except my Dad. Who is standing in the doorway, grin like a Cheshire Cat, one hand raised to knock. Henry breaks away from me in surprise despite Dad’s presence calm and unbothered, while I try to flatten down my wild hair. I must look like more of a mess than Henry who’s plump lips are kiss-swollen, hair wild, cheeks flushed and eyes dark with love and lust. If Dad wasn’t watching us I think I would jump Henry right here and now. 

“Well,” Dad clears his throat, shaking his head fondly, “Alex and Bea have already made it halfway through the food, I’d hurry up if I were you.” He chuckles, eyes twinkling with amusement, “You can continue this romantic reunion later.” 

“You’re not mad?” I find myself asking, heart almost pounding out of my chest. 

“Of course not Mouse,” Dad’s grin softens into a loving smile, “He’s a good one, don’t lose him.” 

And with that, Dad turns and leave the room, leaving me and Henry to stare at each other, processing what dad’s said. 

“I fucking love you.” I grin at Henry, watching the way his shoulders slump with relief.

“I love fucking you.”

“Henry!”

He runs off giggling and I can't help but follow, shaking my head with a fond smile.

-------------

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[telomeke]

4 MINUTES EPISODE 5 – FLASHBACKS, WATCHALONGS AND AN OMINOUS CULTURAL TOUCHPOINT

They're doing a great job with this show and I'm now a newly-minted fan of Director Ning Bhanbhassa Dhubthien, whose confident hand has been assuredly steering the proceedings in 4 Minutes. 🤩

Ep.5 has irrefutably confirmed that the 4 Minutes of the title really is a reference to the four-minute limbo after the heart stops beating (4 Minutes Sultrier Version Ep.5 timestamp 42:20).

So the layers are now being slowly peeled back and more was revealed to us, shedding flashes of light on the convoluted storyline. All is still not clear yet, but some ideas are starting to take shape.

OK, this is mostly guesswork but anyway–

It's quite firmly implanted in my mind now that we're seeing a lot of Great's four minutes of brain activity post cardiac arrest. But what's been percolating in my mind since the last episode is that that we might also be seeing Tyme's four-minute post-death flashback, especially since we also saw him getting shot in the opening sequence of Episode 1.

And so those scenes and sequences shown from Tyme's point of view may also be him re-living his own past experiences (concurrently with Great's?) even as his own heart has stopped.

This thought was triggered by Ep.4's revelation that people who find themselves in the Four-Minute Zone get to enter some sort of common waiting room, and they get to meet others in there too:

And the vibes I got watching this scene reminded me so much of Great and Tyme's conversation at their lakeside glamping in the trailer, which we got to see fully in Episode 5:

I don't think this is Great and Tyme on a romantic date in the real world. Serene, other-worldly and seemingly divorced from reality – this locale has them talking about how beautiful it all is, and Great even says "I wanna stay here forever" before admitting "But we probably can't."

It really looks like this is Great and Tyme finding each other in the four-minute post-death netherworld, with the art gallery meeting room switched up for a more romantic getaway instead (that Great got to choose). And with the clock ticking ominously down to 11:04...

There's also this little snippet from the trailer:

Tyme is locked out of a room, and he calls out for Great even as his surroundings are all sepia-toned and soft-focused.

I think this is 4 Minutes showing us that Tyme's four minutes will be up before Great's are, and Tyme will swept back to the real world – or away to another world – while Great is left behind. (Or maybe it's the other way around?)

Ominously, we are not shown Great's rapture and release from four-minute limbo – as much as I want a Happily Ever After for the two newest pretty boys who have won my heart, 4 Minutes is making no such promises. So I suppose we should prepare ourselves for the possibility that while Great (or Tyme) may well be waking up from a four-minute hiatus and returning to the world of the living at 11:04 – it's not a guarantee that the other will rejoin him there when his own four minutes tick down. 😬💔😭

‌

Anyway, I've refrained from commenting on the numeral 4 as a symbol of death, because this is more a thing in Chinese culture rather than Thai (and up until Ep.5 Thai-Chinese references were at most only faintly present in 4 Minutes).

Well that certainly changed, at 4 Minutes Sultrier Version Ep.5 timestamp 34:50:

The temple where Ep.1 accident victim Khun Manee goes to hire a hitman is unmistakably Chinese. The mafia don she engages with also speaks in Teochew Chinese (I think) at timestamp 36:25.

And so when her siam si/เซียมซี fortune stick shows up with the numeral 4, the link with death is all but confirmed (the word for death in many Chinese dialects like Hokkien, Teochew, Cantonese and Hakka sounds similar to the word for the numeral 4, although there are tonal differences). No surprises then, that the Chinese don tells Manee "Someone's probably going to die."

This had a Thai parallel in Ep.1, when the clock in Khun Manee's hospital room showed us it was thirteen minutes past 1 o'clock in the afternoon:

As portentous as this might appear to occidental minds, it's not just the Western superstition surrounding the number 13 that's threading darker undertones into the fabric of this scene.

In Thai culture (where belief in the supernatural abounds), the numeral 13 is also sometimes considered ill-omened because it looks rather like the Thai word for ghost – ผี – flipped onto its side, adding to the general sense of foreboding in Ep.1.

And for me, this was not meant to foreshadow all the deaths taking place in subsequent scenes and episodes, although it isn't inappropriate as a device.

We have been seeing ghosts in this series – Great, Lukwa, possibly Tyme, and whoever else who found themselves caught in the spectral dimension that exists between life and death in the universe of 4 Minutes.

‌And this may be just my fevered 4 Minutes obsessed brain overthinking things again, but in this light – the paired thirteen (13:13) is likely a reference to the ghostly half-lives of our protagonist couple Great and Tyme, getting to share a precious (final?) four minutes together in that twilight zone between the world of the living and the great beyond.

But it seems more than likely that they will be yanked apart when their four minutes are up. 😧 So will that separation be forever? I wait on tenterhooks to see.

P.S. Links to my own fan theory as to what it all might possibly mean:

And some more supporting information, embedded in the show:

‌

[nana-b0b]

At the end of this publication you will find the uncensored version in public :)

RAN 蘭// Preferences

Bonus:

Taking into account the results of the survey here we go!

Well, it's obvious that Aurora has Gojo deeply rooted in her thoughts and it's not for less, because if we analyze everything, Sukuna snatched everything she had out of selfishness (he could have killed her quietly but he didn't).

Aurora has a good relationship with Akari because she is curious how a curse has such a level of consciousness without being fully aware of it (like Choso, Mahito, etc). While Akari has full reasoning, it's pretty basic, so it doesn't make her a danger. Aurora usually tells her about her life and Akari listens, but so does Sukuna since after those talks she asks Akari to tell her about what they talked about, since Uraume can't get a single word out of Aurora (As Uraume does have full reasoning Aurora wants her away).

Aurora can please Sukuna in bed and sometimes obey what he says, but she really feels lost, because her emotions are not clear could she really love a curse that took everything from her? Besides, she has also noticed that inside the room they start to treat her with more respect, almost as if her presence is that of someone important, what is changing in her environment? There are no more concubines roaming the corridors, she no longer hears comments against her, everything seems to be calm and every whim she wants, is fulfilled, almost like a queen… ♥

Bonus: We are entering Aurora's week I would say, we are only days away from her birthday, and although no one knows the exact date except Narumi, she only gave the information that it is almost at the end of the month, therefore, you can congratulate her on any day from May 20 to May 26. This drawing will be ready in a few days to celebrate this event and let's see what gift Gojo has prepared for the occasion.

Note: If you go to my IG you will find more about Aurora and Gojo since there I usually make more emphasis there, here is more about her and Sukuna and other fanarts that I usually upload.

[myusuchaa]

Ellis Twilight 2nd Birthday Event Story

The Shape of Happiness - Embraced by the Thorns of a Mad Love: Part 3 this is a fan translation. i do not own anything. Cybird has the right of ownership to all in-game content.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ

Ellis: Hey, Kate... how happy are you right now?

Such were the words that left his smiling face.

Even though I've heard this question asked many times before, right now felt like the first.

Ellis: I'm happy.

Ellis: Being with you, being able to dress you up in things I bought you.

Ellis: To be able to fill you with thoughts of my desires.

I'm sure he may do the same thing to anyone if it made them happy but...this is the first time he's given me so many presents out of his own will.

Kate: I'm very happy. Maybe more than you, I think.

Ellis: Ah, no. Right now, I'm the happiest. Because right now, I'm glad you are alive.

He steps closer, the twilight gleam chasing after his profile.

Ellis: I'll kill to make the happiest moments last forever. That thought will never change.

Ellis: But I am happy whenever I realize that you are alive.

Ellis: I'm sure... it must be because my happiness would not exist* without you.

His hand that caressed my cheek felt gentle and warm, but I also sensed something strange.

Those eyes, which had been sparkling in the twilight earlier, have now turned a dark shade of night.

Ellis: ... I wish we could stay in this moment, a place where no one will find us.

As night approaches, the color of his eyes deepens.

Kate: ... even though you won't see Jude and the other Crown members?

Ellis: Mm, I'd be a bit sad about that, but I think it would be fine as long as you're with me.

Sometimes, I feel anxious for no reason at all.

Ellis: Whenever I see you talking with someone else, I want to tear you away.

Ellis: I only want you to look at me. I don't want you to be made happy by anyone else.

Ellis: To hurt you, and being hurt by you... I only want it to be me.

(The fact that he cares so deeply... something about it makes me uneasy.)

I'm so happy now that I wouldn't want it to suddenly end some day.

Perhaps that thought is what made me so anxious all along.

Ellis: ...Kate?

I smelled the scent of lavender and looked up.

I could see the purple flowers in the flowerbed along the road, their petals swaying in the wind.

Kate: Lavender...

Ellis: Ah, it really is, in a place like this.

The flowers wet with dew reflected the twilight, shining like stars.

A beautiful moment.

Kate: ..As you mentioned, I do think I would be happy going somewhere, just the two of us.

(But...)

I take my eyes off the lavender and turn their gaze to him.

The darkening sky matched the color of his hair, making it look like he was blending into the twilight.

Kate: I like watching you work..

Kate: I enjoy watching all the Crown members talk happily amongst themselves in the lounge.

Kate: Because of that, I can't say I fully like the idea of going somewhere** only with you.

Kate: And I won't be able to see my favorite parts of you.

I took his paper bag in exchange for the one I was holding. As he tilted his head in curiosity, I then told him to open it and look inside.

Ellis: ...Stormglass?

Kate: It rained today, which changed our plans. Although it was fun, I thought it might be better to know what the weather would be like before we go out.

Stormglass, transparent liquid in a bottle, is a tool that can predict the weather based on the formation of crystals inside.

Kate: I thought if you had this, it would be easier to predict the weather.

Delicate white crystals were floating down the liquid like remnant snowflakes, leftover from the rain that just ended.

Kate: I understand you want to make our happiest moment last forever, but I'm looking forward to being with you tomorrow, to being happier with you.

Kate: Even if I get hurt, I don't want things to end without me tasting the happiness that lies ahead.

As his hands wrapped around the Stormglass, he muttered:

Ellis: .....

Ellis: The reason I keep clinging to you so is because I feel like one day you may simply disappear.

Kate: ..?

Ellis: I know I should look forward to tomorrow, but...

Ellis: I'm always worried that by the next time I wake, you'd be gone.

Ellis: That's why I always feel like I need to finish this quickly.

Ellis is truly here with me.

I thought these long vines adorned with thorns*** was only proof of his possessiveness, but-

-it seems all along, I had felt the same about him.

Kate: I've been thinking the same.

I wrapped my trembling hands around his, and the crystals in the bottom swayed softly from the movement.

(I'm sure this anxiety will never go away completely.)

Kate: That's why I want to keep things as they are, to know you're still with me.

Ellis: ..You're something else.

Kate: Oh?

Ellis: You really are. You can easily express the feelings I can't put to words.

It was the first time I saw such a shy smile on his face.

Ellis: I feel like I'm falling in love with you again.

He brought his lips closer to mine.

Kate: Mm...

--

I woke up to the morning sun.

(Ah, we fell asleep without our clothes on last night.)

As I felt embarrassed being vulnerable with him like this..

Kate: Ah..

I was pulled closer until we were skin to skin.

Kate: Ellis?

Ellis: ....

It's rare for him not to wake up even when I call his name.

The early summer breeze flows gently on the sheer curtains.

In the quiet morning, I tighten my embrace on him.

(...It seems like this moment is fleeting after all.)

Listening to his heartbeat, feeling his warmth - it's confirmation that he is still with me.

Kate: I love you, Ellis.

Kate: Stay by my side, always.

Perhaps because I could smile easily after saying that, I relaxed myself and felt sleepy again.

(It's still early... I can go back to sleep.)

When I close my eyes, the Stormglass that fills my vision tells me it will be a sunny day.

I felt the embrace of a pure and warm happiness.

<- Part 2 His POV Epilogue ->

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ

*when Ellis says it must be that his happiness does not exist without her, the literal translation comes from the word 成り立つ, which means to be made up of, consist of, or established by. so on top of kate making him happy, it implies she literally is his happiness, and he wouldn't feel true happiness at all without her.

**by saying "go somewhere", it really means double suicide

***long vines with thorns is used as a replacement for "thorny limbs", meaning his reach for her can be painful, trapping her, and references his curse

a/n: honestly, it's written so well.. the idea of the stormglass, and her ability to talk him through his emotions aaaah

[thequietkid-moonie]

Sayori, Monika, Tamaki Suoh, Sunny, Hero, Shouko Nishimiya, how do react when the reader says theys are the love of your life?

Reader calls them the love of their life

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Sayori, Monika, Tamaki, Sunny, Hero, Shouko ]

[ Doki Doki Literature Club ] [ Ouran High School Host Club ] [ Omori ] [ A silent voice ]

Any time i fall in love with a new character i call them the love of my life, i had say it so many times that that if i had a coin for every time I've said it right now i'd be rich

Sayori

It doesn't take long for Sayori to take a liking on people and become pretty clingy and affectionate, but to fully trust them as to show her real self it actually tooks a long time, so even when she openly shows her love sometimes is more motivated for the anxiety

However, whenever you show her affection and love is something special for her, even the small gestures is a little reminder that you actually care and appreciate her, specially if is after she finally open up to you more with her problems

Even when she is clingy Sayori can be pretty shy, specially to express her love directly with words, so it take a lot from her to say that she loves you even when she is completely sure of her feelings, and if you say it to her she gets wrapped in a overwhelming feel of love

When you tell her that she is the love of your life Sayori stops whatever she is doing for the shock but even so she isn't able to see you at the face, she tries to but is scare to see in your face a mocking expression, somehow she manage to slowly see a glimse of you, it doesn't matter if you seem shy or confident, even a small and sweet smile is enough for her to win the courage she needs to fully see you in the face, at least for a moment

She tries really hard to say something, or even do something but in her mind are racing a lot of different thoughts, between the anxiety and the overwhelming feeling of love, at the end she will just throw herself into your arms before start crying, she even clings to you as if his life depends on it

The thing is that Sayori tend to doubt herself and be overwhelmed for the fear, she even is a pleseant person but you telling her that she is the love of your life gives her a big sense of security as well a feeling of love, that is why she started crying but she will apologize for it later

Sayori grows a little more clingy and affectionate afterwards since that beautiful feeling still wander her chest and she wants to make you feel that way too, she may even try to write you something about it (but since she normally just write about the feelings she can't speak of it will be a little difficult for her)

If you do it as a way to confess your feelings for her her reaction won't be too different, it would be pretty overwhelming for her and she will end up crying in your arms, but in this case she will be more hesitant even asking you if you actually mean what you had say

Monika

Even when Monika seems and act confidence deep down she is a little insecure and perfeccionist, so even when she doesn't have much troubles with expressing her love she wonder if she is "doing it right"

Although she isn't too estrict when it comes to you (or at least tries no to), she just bask in whatever show of affection and love you give to her, small or big gestures she apreciate them nonetheless, also there are moments where she put others before her a little so your affection comfort her

Love is a really beautiful and special word for Monika, she kinda has a big expective of what is love and she is willing to work in making that ilusion come true, mainly for her perfeccionism, but she tries to don't let that side of her affect you or your relasionship. Whenever you express you love for her it fills her with excitment

Even when Monika seems more serious and mature she loves romantic stuff, and even when she finds cheesy stuff a little overstated she still like it, so when you call her the love of your life her heart skip a beat, she looks at you wondering if this isn't just a dream while slowly gets flustered and flattered

Monika knows she loves you with all her being and she can even dare to say that you are all she wanted, but even she didn't thought that you would think so dearly of her, but those simple words show her that you love her a lot too (maybe even with the same intensity), and since she isn't exactly shy she won't have much troubles to say something so cute and special back, although she isn't satisfied with her own answer so she will be thinking for a while in a way to show how much she loves you too

And for a long time the only memory of you saying those words make her feel like in heaven for how much you love her, always bringing a smile and a tiny blush to her cheeks, also it may or may not lead her to be more confidence and start to be more affectionate and teasing

Although if you had say it to confess your feelings her reaction won't be as calm as if you two were already in a relationship, Monika is sure that she loves you and she had tried to read you to try to find out if you feel the same, but you coming and saying such cheesy stuff out of the blue really had taked her by surprise (specially if you aren't usually open or affectionate)

Tamaki Suoh

Tamaki isn't shy at all, he is always so open with his love and isn't afraid to tell anyone how much he loves you (well, not until he finally realice his feelings for you), he could be pretty dramatic with his affection but he always do it from the bottom of his heart

Also, even when he is open with his love whenever you are affectionate towards him it makes him feel all flustered and fuzzy, even the small gestures are special to him and bring happines to his day, to all his life (or that is what he always says)

Tamaki never has problem to directly say that he loves you, although he prefers to express it in other ways, with a lot of affection, besides he doesn't want to admit it but he is pretty shy when it comes to say it (specially when he had just realice his feelings for you). If and when you say it to him he gets a little more serious but is still fuzzy and can't stop giggling

Although, saying that he is the love of your life is different, is more direct but still express a lot of love, also an expression like that is more likely to heard it from him and is probably that he had even already thought of it, but hearing it from you is surprising

It totally surprise him and there are chances for him to ask you to repeat yourself in case he missheard you, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like it in fact he loves that you love him and appreciate him so much to even consider him the love of your life, and not even in a egoist way, is just that before founding the club he is used to be alone and with all his problems with his family he wasn't too apreciate either so knowing that you love him as much as he loves you it melt his heart

His reaction could be either really dramatic, exploding with excitment and love but saying that that that title suits you better because you are the the love of his life, or more serious but still with a sweet smile in his face hugging you and giving you sweet kisses, even expressing that he loves you a lot too

Although if you do it to confess he won't be able to react in a calm manner, he is shocked but slowly get incredibly flustered, he barely will be able to answer you properly

Sunny

Sunny doesn't really think much of himself but he doesn't have much troubles with it neither, just when he compare himself to others, still that doesn't influence in his love for you

Also, he doesn't show his love by words he is more of actions (like getting more clingy to you), although whenever you show affection to him, either by words or actions, it flustered him and he even gets a little shy, even when you two are already dating it still flustered him

Love is a word with a lot of weight and even when Sunny is sure that he is in love with you he has a lot of troubles to say it and anytime he heards you say it to him he feels like the rest of the world disappears, flattered for how even just a simple word hold and inmense feeling

But saying that he is the love of your life is an expression with even more intensity, the world is big and your life haven't even reached the half and still you call him the love of your life, the inmense love he is feeling practically shoot him down, his heart is racing, his cheeks are burning and his mind is a complete mess

Don't expect a proper answer because Sunny won't be able to say it back, heck he isn't able to even formulate a response, even if he tries to he can't, is probably that he end up hidding, either hide his face in with his hands or in your arms. Also, he will be like this for a while and even when he manage to calm down a little the blush of his cheeks aren't going to go away for a long time, as well the fuzzy feeling that fill his chest (it may even stay like that for some days)

Also you could notice that Sunny grows a little more clingy and affectionate but shy too after what you had say, is just that he feels so loved and appreciate that he can't describe it, he wants to make you feel so loved too but he still has troubles to put it in words

Although, if you had say it in a way to confess your feelings is even more shocking for him because it would be the first time you express so much directly to him (even if you are already affectionate)

Hero

Hero isn't really shy nor insecure so he doesn't has much troubles to express his love for you, still he isn't going everywhere screaming his love, he doesn't see a point on doing it, you knowing that he loves you is enough for him

He doesn't have any problem with showing his love by words and actions, he isn't shy, although when you show your love for him it flustered him a a little (it depends in what you do too)

He has no problem with saying that he loves you directly, but he prefers to not to rush himself, if he is going to say it he wants to be 100% sure he is in love with you, as well whenever you directly express that you love him he tries to say it back or correspond it (still a little flustered)

Even so the moment that you tell him that he is the love of your life he is truly surprised, say that you love him is something but calling him the love of your life is even deeper, with even more weight, just by hearing you is pretty surprised and immediatly look at you at the face, like trying to comfirm that you had say what he had hear

It take him a moment to fully process what you had said but when he does he gets all flustered and flattered, his cheeks quickly get covered by the blush and a big smile, he may not be able to say the same for how flustered he is but he tries to say something equivalent, and even if he doesn't manage to say something he will make sure to do something that will express how much he loves you

He will be blushy and with a fuzzy feeling in his chest for a while, as well and unable to stop smiling, your words defenitively make his day way better and he won't be able to stop thinking on it for the rest of the day, and even so he still remember it sometimes the next days and always make him feel all flustered again

However, if you had done it to confess your feelings for him he will be even more shocked, because even if you were already affectionate saying that he is the love of your life is still saying much, in that case he will be even more flustered

Shouko Nishimiya

Shouko is really shy and even insecure, so she has a lot of troubles to express her love for you, when she does it she mainly does it with small and discreet gestures, but little by little she start to win more confidence and tries to be more open with her affection

Also, it goes the same when it comes to accept your affectionate, she is shy and that bring her some troubles to accept your gestures of love, specially when she feels like a bother

Shouko express her love by discreet ways because she can't show it directly, her shyness and anxiety stop her from doing it, as well when you directly say that you love her she gets really flustered and doesn't know how to respond nor even what to do

The moment you tell her that she is the love of your life she is completely in shock, this is saying even more than when you express that you love her, and that already is really significant, but this holds even more importance and love, she immediatly looks at you surprise and still fearing that you are just trying to mess with her, but once she understand that you actually mean it Shouko even start crying, she is just feeling so much that is overwhelming, but is for sure that it isn't for sadness (she will apologize later for doing it though)

Shouko feels like her only existance is a bother for others but you calling her the love of your life is like saying to her that you are happy that she exist and she doesn't know how to react to that, but is sure that she feels really happy and loved

She will never forget what you had say to her, even when she fears that you didn't mean it or even scold herself for be so excited for it she can't help but hold the memory close to her heart and she remember it anytime she feels bad about herself. Also, just as she feels really loved just by you saying it she wants to do something in return, she actually feels like she has to, that is only fair, so she will try to come up with a plan to thank you for making her so happy

However if you had say it in a way to confess your feelings for her Shouko will be even more shocked and hesitant to accept that what you had say is for real, she feels anxious and fear that this is too good to be real, but at the end she will at least accept it and when she does it she will start crying too