#maybe about how these two incidents all happened in the same chapter

[alexiethymia]

a chain of headpats

[i-am-hungry-24-7]

[We went on shopping (it didn’t go well)] - TF141*F!Reader

not a chapter actually just a rambling, it's kinda messy and not my style imo, pls feel free to skip this etc. might rewrite this shit when I have time since I’m busy with my job these days and I just accidentally sliced my thumb open making it difficult to type, hence not much to provide sorry :( and the weird stranger incident in the latter part did happen irl damn it’s creepy af, but I was the one telling them to fuck off tho (they harassing my cute friend RAGE)

Summary: You sigh when it's the fifth time someone fights in your poor tea shop this month. You just open it two months ago, in an area ruled by mafia called '141'. Maybe you should find their boss and give them money or what to stop the bullshit keeps happening in your shop. (well, here they come)

Mafia!TF141*F!Reader

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

After your car graduates from its car life in about a week, congratulations, the poor shelf accompanies you since your college life is finally undone, fragments spreading across the floor making you shout Mama and mourn for its graduation.

You don’t have a car right now, so when Gaz offers to drive you to buy a new shelf, you agree to his suggestion without a second thought. Yet when the day comes and you open the car door, only to be greeted by the wide smile of Soap and Gaz, you almost slam the door close in reflex.

“Okay, but why do all of you come together? this isn’t an elementary school field trip!” You gawk at them when you squeeze in the car.

“Sounds fun, how can ye not tell us?” 

“Gaz I thought you could seal your lips!”

“Sorry love, Ghost exchanged it with some goodies.”

Oh yeah, Ghost is sitting in the driver’s seat.

Wait, he’s sitting in the driver's seat?

“Goddamnit—“ Your scream dies out on your tongue when said man puts his foot down. 

Ghost does a good job at providing you the same experience as riding a rollercoaster, glad that you didn’t throw up in the car and arrived at the warehouse without dying. If he's your Uber driver, you will give him five stars and block the hell out of him. 

You hop out of the car and walk to the door. As the automatic door parts after sensing your presence, you feel much better when the cold air of the store. Nice a.c. is one of the important features of a nice store, and you already built a fondness for the warehouse with how refreshing the chilly air is inside.

The first area welcoming you is food. Not bad, 6 out of 10 if it needs to be precise. Gaz pushes the cart and follows you as you saunter to the aisle with cereals.

“Oh, they have my favorite brand.” You murmur to him as your eyes travel across the price tag.

Wait, you must still be dizzy because no way it’s 30% cheaper than the same one you just bought from the supermarket.

“Kyle, it says it’s 3 pounds, right?!” pointing at the tag, your voice raises a whole eight-tone with excitement.

“Yes?”

“Good.”

5 boxes of cereal are added to the cart. 

Actually, 9.9 out of 10 for this place, you fix the evaluation as you watch Gaz putting some of those ten bags of chocolate Ghost and Soap dump into the cart back on the shelf, and as a little revenge to Gaz for letting the other two men join the trip without you knowing, you choose to turn a blind eye when you spot Ghost sneaking all of them back in the cart.

Not forgetting the primary goal for today, you go straight to the furniture area after letting Soap throw five packs of gummy bears in the cart and convincing Ghost not to get a cup of tea from the random tea shop. You’ll make a much better one for him when you get home �� you coo when he stares at you with unhappy eyes not covered by the mask, glad that he seems to accept the idea, so he huffs and lets you drag him and Soap out of the food area.

“You should buy this.” 

“Ghost I don’t need a green shelf in my shop thank you.”

“Then ye should buy this bonnie!”

“That’s not even a goddamn shelf, Soap.”

“How about this?” 

Your eyes brighten up when Gaz shows you a wooden shelf, it’s stripped-back, with not many decorations, but it surely will fit wonderfully into your store with its aesthetic vibes and high functionality, thus you pick up your phone to type down the product number immediately.

“Oh my, Kyle, you’re the best.”

and you’re too busy typing the numbers down that you don’t notice him shooting the others a taunt of victory.

The last area before the cashier’s counter sets a bookshop. You don’t plan on buying books, but you indeed need to go to the bathroom, so you dismiss yourself and tell them to look around before you’re done.

Why are the bathrooms always hidden in a bloody long hallway? What if someone can’t hold back during their way? Your footsteps echo through the corridor as your mind starts hitting you with a fresh and unnecessary question, glad that you aren’t that urgent though, so you’re able to get to the destination without wetting your pants.

Washing your hands, you step back to the hallway again, but you yelp in surprise when you bump into someone.

“Sorry!” You nod at the man and start heading back to the bookstore.

but it’s weird, the man you just bump into walks so close to you, that you suddenly realize he’s just a step behind you.

Hey, don’t panic, might just coincidence, you try to tell yourself as you make another step.

“Hey, lovely.” Okay, it’s not a coincidence, fucking hell. You curse when his hand touches your shoulder and stops you.

“Sorry for bumping into you, Sir. Anything that I can help?”

“No, I’m waiting for you to separate from the blokes for a while can’t ask for your phone number when they surround you like dogs.”

“I don’t give strangers my number, sorry.” You try to leave, but the man’s hand grabs your shoulder forcefully preventing you from moving.

“Hey, give us a chance yeah? I’m sure we will have some nice time together.”

“I don’t fucking know you!”

Prying off his hand, you turn and start walking fast, almost running when you hear the stranger’s footsteps coming towards you.

Fuck fuck fuck, you haven’t run with such desperation in years, last time must be high school.

“Who the fok are ye arsehole?”

The tears prickling in your eyes when you hear Soap’s voice ringing in your ears before you feel a pair of warm hands drag you behind him.

“Ghost and Soap will deal with him, let’s go.”

Adrenaline pumping through your body finally subsides when Soap and Ghost reappear from the hallway, you don’t want to know what happened to the stranger, maybe hope they’re still alive and in one piece so you won’t involve yourself in another chaos, 

“I think it’s time to go home, Kyle. Is it okay?”

“Of course, wanna grab some food before we leave?”

“I guess Ghost already bought sufficient chocolate for us.”

A burst of laughter catches your attention whilst Gaz looking at the cart with bags of chocolate stuffing under your cereals with disbelief, and a smile crawls back to your lips as you look at Ghost slamming his forehead against a lower door frame and Soap laughing over him.

They aren’t that bad, maybe, or they reserve the remnants of tenderness for you, you’re not sure whether is correct, but at least they have your back when you need them, and that’s enough for you to stop exploring the answer for now.

“Oh.” A book gets knocked off when you shift to stand up. Turning around to pick it up, you have a good look at the shelf behind your seat.

Your eyes dart from ‘Today’s recommendation’ to the book within your grasp.

‘Surrounded by idiots — by Thomas.’

You will rate this recommendation 10 out of 10 for sure.

After insisting on paying yourself and shooing the men off, you take out your card and place it on the scanner.

‘Insufficient balance :( please try again’

You frown when the machine shoves you a nuh-uh, and you open the bank app to check your balance.

So you overspent 10 pounds huh? What a shame to your title for being a successfully financially broken adult. Which link loses and makes you make a wrong shopping decision? 

you scan the list of items with sharp vision until you land your eyes on a product.

Surrounded by idiots - £ 10.61

Ah.

a/n: thx for reading :D sorry it's messy and unlike my previous writings :( hope I can have time to write again btw Price went on business trip so he's missing everything

tag list :D - @blackhawkfanatic @nexthyperfix @danielle143 @goodbyegh0st @reaperxxxxzz @kaoyamamegami @imyprice @cod-z @poppingaround @live-for-fluff @masterstr0ke @mall0ww @ghostysloot @hxnneydew @cutiecusp @beigechristmastree @rejectedbytheempty @lupikekee @hotvinimon @whitetiger846

[beaulesbian]

Every once in a while I think again about the end of Thriller Bark and feel completely insane and ill about Zoro's sacrifice, FOR LUFFY, specifically (you know, the character Kuma's threat was directed at). It wasn't even that long into traveling together, a few months maybe, yet Zoro was ready to give up everything in that moment - in the chapter with Kuma appearing being titled The End of the Dream ! - to protect his crew and Luffy, so he could continue in his journey.

Since Luffy and Zoro met, they always understand how words and promises were imporant to them - with Luffy punching Helmeppo in ch. 3 for lying to Zoro. Zoro learnt how serious Luffy was about his dream, and soon he realized he backed up his words with actions as well - untiying Zoro and giving him his swords back - his biggest treasures. It meant that Zoro could be honest and honor-bound in the same way to Luffy, to gain this mutual respect and trust between them since day 1. To wield his swords to protect both Luffy and later their whole crew, and to step in a way between Luffy and danger.

He was being actually more upset that Sanji got up from the previous Kuma's attack and interrupted their fight - Zoro was trying to keep the whole crew safe by this exchange for Luffy's head - if Sanji was offering his life for Luffy half dead and without much strength left to fight for himself (he started the offering of his own life already believing he woudn't survive, with a "you should find a new cook"), then this very specific sacrifice would be meaningless to the crew (- if this arc was taking place post WCI, then it would turn out very differently, with the strength of Sanji believing in Luffy, but it wasn't his moment during this scene) - it would hurt them more than help them, because as much as Zoro was prepared to die as well, he was prepared to keep fighting until the last breath.

Zoro was thinking he might die - Kuma's words were pretty certain he WOULD die - but he still had the willingness and strength to take on the deal for Luffy, for his captain and his crew. ("if i die here, it just means I wasn't worth much to begin with" this line he says times and times again during the overall story, like in Rogue Town throwing Kitetsu and waiting if it would cut off his arm, up until standing against King in Wano "it's my power that was lacking", and all the other times he was questioning his worth - it's something he tempts the fates he doesn't believe in, to actually harm him, to take his strength away if he doesn't deserve to survive. and it's him saying he knows and accepts his own weaknesses - of not being strong enough (in comparison to Sanji in this example), and always fights through them.)

He threw away his swords, including Wado Ichimonji - literally throwing aside his and Kuina's dream, to compell Kuma into a duel (with the anime playing 'The Very Very Very Strongest' when Zoro bowed down and pleaded Kuma, offering him his head instead of Luffy's) so Kuma wouldn't go after the crew and specifically Luffy later - no matter the outcome if Zoro would surive or not.

And then, he was actually strong enough to survive taking his captain's fatigue, agony and pain! Possibly being the only one who could survive taking Luffy's pain.

Zoro could have back out when Kuma offered him the 'taste' of the pain, with the realization of the scale of the hurt with the very possibility of dying from it. But that wouldn't be Zoro now, would it? He accepted and took all of Luffy's pain so his captain wouldn't have to suffer or die, and when they found him afterwards, he still kept standing, tense with the fatigue but alive! (again, with anime adding the music of 'Luffy's Fierce Attack' to underline the importance between these two).

He was training for this since the beginning - to become stronger to shoulder the pain of his crew if necessary. (And not only that - he was preparing for that so another Kuina incident didn't have to happen). He was the first one to fight one of the Warlords before anything really began: his fight with Mihawk at Baratie really set the tone and his own goals to overcome - a glimpse to see on how much different levels the Warlords actually were in comparison to Zoro, Luffy and the others, and if they were supposed to beat them so Luffy could become the Pirate King, that always meant to be ready and to get even stronger than them.

(small spoiler for egghead, ch. 1102: seeing Kuma (a Warlord at that time) remembering this Thriller Bark event later, during Egghead arc, and thinking that even he might have passed out from the pain, makes it all the more meaningful that it was Zoro who took the pain and withstood it - establishing how high was the strength of his willpower, already before timeskip.)

There could be so many other nuances and details from these last few chapters of this arc, and even what this deal meant for the following arcs! Zoro was still in pain on Sabaody, and because of that the crew wasn't as strong as it could have been (not to say they would have a chance anyway, knowing what all was in the motion).

The next is the tragedy and beauty of LUFFY never finding out about this. Half of the crew knew: Sanji, Brook and Robin knew the details, but would never tell Luffy - and that shows their loyalty to both Luffy and Zoro (and Zoro's decision). Luffy woke up and first thing he did was to jump up and down, excited not to be weighted down by his injuries, and only seeing his swordsman being down with injuries so severe he was out more days afterwards, knowing that something else attacked them (him = Zoro), after he was passed out from the fight against Moria, brought down his mood (even if it's not much noticable, but the change into subtle worry is there in the few next chapters).

"I can't explain it either!" - meaning he was thinking about it too, possibly how weird it was for him to move normally after such long fight. We don't really ever hear/see Luffy thinking about something, except when it's mentioned how he came up with a solution or idea, telling us there's more to Luffy than just being straightforward in his goals and speech. With Luffy being sometimes very emotionally intelligent when he wants to be, he could have figured it out from all these other people in the room asking similar questions and deducing. Even Usopp was putting two and two togehter. We might never find out if Luffy actuallly knows or not. Luffy probably wouldn't ask Zoro directly, especially if Zoro wouldn't tell first and didn't want to talk about it

- because for Zoro, nothing happened! Nothing, that would compromise his and Luffy's first promise. For Zoro to become the Strongest he couldn't back down from the duel with Kuma (just like before with his duel with Mihawk at Baratie. When he's faced with something he swore to overcome, he can't back down or evade. Even back then Luffy understood that as he held back Johnny and Yosaku, but Sanji was perplexed how far Zoro (and Luffy) would go to reach their dreams). When Sanji was asking him in front of Kuma "What about your dream?" Zoro was still thinking about his dream- it was just that the context has changed, it changed into a journey. His dream is the most important thing, but it wouldn't mean much, if, when on his way to accomplish that, he would betray his other words and promises.

[everythingisromant1c]

It's Always Been You - Chapter 12

james potter x fem!reader

summary - Things hadn't gotten much better with James, and you knew you could only go so long without talking to him—after all, he was still your best friend. But, considering all that'd happened, along with some encouragement from your friends, you knew the time had come to finally admit you wanted more than that.

wc [6.2k]

a/n: alr guys ... very happy and also sad to say this is the last chapter of it's always been you!! :( i've loved every minute of writing this series as well as sharing it (its become my baby atp), and it is definitely because of all the love and support everyone reading has given it. thank u to everyone stuck around to this point, & i hope u guys enjoy this last chapter!! i send all my hugs and kisses <3 - e

all chapters | <- Chapter 11

It'd been another hour or two until everyone had fully returned from Hogsmeade and dinner was being served in the Great Hall. You finally changed out of your dress and into your everyday clothing again, already feeling better, but that didn't mean you felt good. You didn't think you could feel good when both your brain and heart were hurting like they were. And worst of all, the one person you'd go to in times like these for comfort was the same person you couldn't go to. Not now.

The girls had been doing their best to get your mind off of everything that had happened that day, aside from when Marlene profusely apologized to you for letting Potter hear her outburst in the common room.

"Although, I have to say," she admitted afterward. "I'm not completely sorry for him that he had to hear it. I may be brutal but I never tell a lie."

That fact didn't leave you as you sat with her and Lily in the Great Hall for dinner, a number of seats away from the other Marauders. You recognized with a skip in your heartbeat that James was with them, surprisingly enough since you knew how he was accustomed to skipping meals in the dining hall when he wanted to be alone, a habit you both unfortunately shared. But that didn't mean he was enjoying himself either.

You could see even from your seat down the table that he wasn't saying much, mostly keeping to himself quietly, something so out of character for him yet you'd seen him do it constantly the entire week. You wanted to yell at him and shake him silly, but you also wanted to hug him. When you caught yourself in the midst of those thoughts you turned back to your own spot at the table shamefully.

You tried to force yourself to eat, catching your friends' concerned looks at your full plate, but you didn't feel much like it. Especially not when you still felt maybe a dozen pairs of eyes on you from every corner of the Great Hall.

Even with all that'd happened since just that morning, the rumors and whatever else people had come up with to talk about had not yet been forgotten about by the school like your friends said it would be. Then you thought about whether news had spread of your disastrous date in Hogsmeade, and prayed that nobody had caught wind of that incident either. You didn't think you could handle any more of the staring.

Immediately after you had that thought, you spotted a fifth-year in Ravenclaw robes walking past your table, watching as he blatantly pointed at you as he spoke to his friend, and you looked down at your plate with hardened eyes.

You heard Marlene scoff from next to you. "Hey!" she called to the boy. "Didn't your mother ever tell you it was rude to point?"

The fifth-year didn't respond to her but looked to his friend, hurriedly taking a seat at his own table, his whispers being drowned out in the loudness of the dining hall.

Marlene fumed from next to you. "I can't believe these people. Are they really that bored with their own lives that they're so obsessed with a bloody rumor?"

You shook your head toying with your fork. "Just ignore them. That's what I've settled on doing."

She sighed from beside you and you thought that'd be the end of everything, until you heard gasps from down the table. You looked up and followed the sounds and were met with a sight not even the magic of Hogwarts could've prepared you for.

James—your James—had stood up on the bench he'd once been sitting in, and you thanked Merlin he wasn't standing fully on the table; though you had absolutely no idea what he could possibly be up to, you knew it couldn't be anything good. He cupped a hand to his mouth as your heartrate picked up.

"Can I have everyone's attention?"

He didn't have to ask twice for it. His voice boomed out loudly, something that seemed to come naturally to him, and the noise in the Great Hall had died out in a mere second until it was almost completely silent—quiet enough for you to hear the beating of your heart in your chest as you looked up at him. Your throat went dry.

"Not that it's any of anyone's business," he started confidently to the hundreds of eyes now looking at him, tone nothing but sober. "But nothing happened in the broom closet. Or in the locker room."

You felt the churning in your stomach claw up into your throat, then felt it drop back down, keeping you stationed in your seat. He didn't give much context to his declaration, but with the popularity of the topic amongst the school, it didn't seem like he needed to. His voice almost seemed to echo, all other noises drowning out as everyone stared up at him. James looked around the entire room appearing completely unafraid and you didn't know how the hell he did it; you probably looked more fearful than him.

"So," he began again, "I don't want to see or hear anyone talking about those rumors any longer. And if anyone has a problem with that, they can answer to me. Alright?"

Of course, nobody said anything then, but you could see in their eyes that they were going to listen to him. Or at least, they'd make sure they didn't get caught going against him. Maybe it was from his impenetrably confident voice or his respected status around the school, you weren't sure, but he had that unique effect on people in an almost effortless way.

When it was clear he'd gotten his point across, he scanned his eyes over the sea of students until they found yours. In a dizzying way, it felt like you were the only two in the room for a moment, as cliché as the thought sounded in your head.

You didn't know what had motivated him to do what he did, but you could see in his eyes something fragile that juxtaposed the self-assured look they'd had only seconds ago. He looked away again and stepped back down to floor level once more, not taking a moment before striding out of the Great Hall, his form disappearing seconds after.

Even without his physical presence, his action seemed to linger over the room for a moment more before chatter broke out once again. You were still frozen in place, not knowing if moving would finalize the idea that whatever just happened was real and not just part of some wild dream.

Marlene had confirmed that it definitely had happened, however, when she turned to you with her jaw dropped, an amazed but delighted sparkle in her eye. "Someone tell me you saw that too."

"Oh we saw it," rang Lily, who also looked much too happy about that fact, probably just relieved James's antics weren't centered on her for once. You could see them both staring at you expectantly, waiting for you to react. You could also see the boys in your peripheral, the three of them remaining at the table searching your face for a reaction.

Yet, all you could do was stand up and walk hurriedly towards the exit. Dozens of conversations rushed past your ears as you did, a blur of remarks ranging from "Potter's lost it" to "He's so bloody fit." Whatever they were saying, you noted with gratefulness in the back of your mind that none of the conversations were about you.

You reached the doorway and stopped once you were a safe distance away in the hallway, heaving breaths in for a moment to yourself before finding that you weren't alone. All of your friends had followed you without blinking an eye, and you didn't know whether you found it endearing or inconvenient. Though, to be fair, you didn't know where you were going. You just knew you couldn't sit there and pretend as if nothing had happened.

You blinked at the three boys who neared you with puzzled looks on each of their faces. "Did you guys know anything about this?"

"No," promised Sirius. "In fact, James has hardly said anything to us since this morning."

You shook your head to yourself, feeling breathless. "I can't ... believe he would do that."

"Really?" Lily stared at you. "I mean, it's Potter we're talking about. It's exactly something he would do."

You couldn't fight the smile that tugged on the corners of your lips even as you shook your head. You ran a hand over your hair as the blonde from next to you hit you in the shoulder.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" You frowned over at her as she stared at you expectantly. "Go to him."

You stilled, gaping at her. "What?"

"Go to him. Do I have to spell it out for you?"

You tipped your head at her like it would help you understand her better, parting your drying lips. "I thought you said he was a selfish git." You heard Remus snort from beside you.

"I did, sure," reasoned Marlene, not without a hint of pride. "But only because I thought he was ruining your chances of moving on now that you were over him. But seriously, I can see your face when you look at him." She shook her head. "That's not the look of someone who wants to move on."

Your eyes flickered over her face as she spoke, an infinite number of thoughts overtaking you. In the silence of your thinking, a Hufflepuff boy walked past the six of you in the hallway, staring all the while.

"What are you looking at?" snapped Marlene, turning to him without missing a beat. "Did you not just hear Potter?"

Like he'd heard him loud and clear, and also like he was scared of Marlene, he hurried away with his head bent forward. Satisfied, the blonde turned back to you. At your conflicted expression, she asked, "Well?"

You chewed on the inside of your cheek. "It's just that," you began, not even knowing where you were going with your rambling. "I've spent so long trying to get over him. It's not fair to myself to just forget all of that, and it definitely wasn't fair to Sebastian-"

"For Merlin's sake," cut in Lily, to your surprise. "You keep talking about what's fair and what's unfair, but what about you? What do you want?"

You stared at her, beginning to feel breathless under the eyes of all your friends. "It's not just about what I want. It's not that simple."

"But what if it is?" she questioned. "I know how difficult this has all been for you. And I know you said Potter doesn't just get to realize his feelings for you and suddenly be with you, that it doesn't work like that. But what if it does?" She raised her hands at her sides. "Not everything is a perfect story to tell. Especially not when it comes to you two. It's not every day you fall in love with your best friend and he finally sees that he's fallen for you too. Are you seriously going to let him go because of some made-up system of rules?"

Your breath was becoming staggering now, and you didn't know what to think, because everything they were telling you sounded so right.

"I don't know," you began unsurely. "Of course, I don't want to lose him. Not talking to him for the past week has been harder than I ever could've imagined. I don't even know what it would feel like to have to do it for longer than I already have been." You blinked down at your shoes, truly realizing those things at the same rate you said them. "I think I just ... miss him."

"Of course you miss him." Marlene looked at you sympathetically. "That's why I think you should go tell all this to him."

You felt bile rising in your throat. "I don't even know if he'd want to see me after all we've said to each other."

"Are you joking?" Remus butted in exasperatedly. "Prongs is bloody in love with you. Can't you see that?"

"Remus," you warned softly because you didn't know how much more of this hope you could take before you did something you'd regret.

"I'm telling the truth." His voice was heavy with meaning. "Maybe it took him a while to realize it himself, but the rest of us have had to sit back and watch you both act like you don't have feelings for each other for years. Believe me, the only reason he's in his room right now and not with you is because he thinks that's what you want."

Your brows pinched. "You can't truly know that."

"Really?" he laughed. "What do you think we talked about that night Vance asked you out?"

Your expression faltered and you forced yourself to think back to the night James had begun acting distant from you, though it wasn't difficult to, the storyline of it all clicking into place in your head.

"You," breathed Remus. "We talked about you."

"Not to mention," Sirius added, "we're the ones who've had to spend every night in our dorm listening to him bitch and moan about Vance this and Vance that." You swallowed at your friends' words, but they didn't quit.

"And we know James was being a right idiot today," Sirius insisted honestly. "But you should've seen him this morning right after you two argued. He was heartbroken. More than he'd ever been over Evans." He turned to the redhead in question. "No offense, Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes lightheartedly. "Trust me, Black, none taken."

He nodded and turned back to you swiftly. "So for you to think that James would want anything other than to fix things with you and just be with you is bloody mental."

You stared at all of your friends who were looking so determinedly back at you that you didn't think you could tell them 'no' now. But still, your feet didn't budge.

"It's not just that," you almost whispered. "I guess I'm just ... scared. What if it goes wrong and we get into some ridiculous fight again? What then?"

Marlene took a hold of your shoulders, slightly scaring you in her resoluteness. "Potter just stood up and yelled at the entire bloody school and you're trying to tell us you'rescared?" She shook you a little, and your friends smirked from behind her. "Be a Gryffindor for Godric's sake! Go to him!"

Before you could say anything more, she was turning you around and shoving you a little until you had the momentum you needed to take steps toward the Gryffindor common room. You made it all the way up the nearest set of steps before you paused, turning back to your friends with a grateful smile.

"Thank you, you guys." You expected them to share the sweet moment with you, but they only rolled their eyes.

"Go, woman!" Sirius groaned, and you rolled your eyes back at them, but it lacked any real annoyance.

You didn't know exactly what you were planning on doing, but you didn't have time to think about it because your legs were carrying you speedily through the halls in your anxious state and wouldn't let you stop until you reached the portrait entrance to the Gryffindor common room. Taking a steadying breath in, you said the password and entered the room.

With everyone else still being at dinner in the Great Hall, it wasn't exactly difficult to find James. He sat in the common room, his brunette head of curls visible to you in the low light. They covered the majority of his face that you could see, his head tipped downwards with his elbows resting on his knees. That changed within the blink of an eye as you entered the room, his head swiftly lifting until he locked eyes with you, and you had to fight a shiver at the feeling it sent shuddering through you.

He seemed to think you were just going to go to your own dorm and ignore him, and he averted his eyes to look somewhere else, maybe the fireplace, until you left—but you didn't. You only walked closer to him until you were separated by only one of the couches, the distance still small enough to make your breathing quicken.

At the soundlessness of your stilled footsteps, James looked back up and met your eyes again, and he swallowed. Clearly, he hadn't expected you to make any move to talk to him that night, even after the scene he'd made in the Great Hall. The problem was that you hadn't expected yourself to either, and now you didn't know what you wanted to say first, because there were certainly a million things you had to make sure he knew.

"Thank you," you said, because you figured it was a good place to start. He nodded up at you, his eyes not revealing much of anything, but you didn't let that sway you. "You didn't have to do that, you know."

"Of course I did." His voice was stubborn, but too sincere for how little his expression gave away.

You looked down at your feet, letting a moment pass before speaking again. "Well, now it seems like everyone is going to be talking about you from now on."

"That doesn't matter to me." James's voice cut through the air richly, and when you looked back up from the floor he was staring at you meaningfully. "They can say whatever the hell they want. As long as they're not talking about you."

Your shoulders dropped at his words, and the way he held your eyes as he said them made your heart beat faster in your chest. It hadn't even been a full day since you'd last spoken to him, but you already missed him.

"They wouldn't leave you alone," he said concretely, his tone beginning to fill with emotion. "And then, I heard what Marlene said in the common room, about some girl harassing you in the library? I-" he shook his head frustratedly, rubbing at his forehead with one of his hands. "I'm just mad at myself that I've let it go on for this long. Or that I didn't even know that happened."

You already felt too emotional for your liking, the feelings inside of you swirling more aggressively at every word he said to you. "It's not like it's your fault, James."

"Well it's not like I did much to stop it, did I?" He seemed genuinely angry at himself now, and you didn't know what you could do to help. A painful lump was rising in your throat, but you stayed rooted in your spot behind the sofa. "And I'd ask you why you didn't come and tell me, but that'd be a bloody stupid question."

He shook his head, eyes becoming wistful like he was recalling a memory, one that pained him. "Earlier, when Marlene was defending you in the common room, the look on your face was ... I don't know. Crushed. Sad."

You swallowed at the memory, because that had been exactly how you were feeling, amongst thousands of other ways. James looked down at his lap.

"I just wanted to try and help, do anything to make that look on your face go away, but I couldn't. So I just kept replaying how you looked in my head, and the more I thought about it, the more I hated myself because I realized you were only hurting because of me. And that was the worst part. Realizing that it was all my fault."

You felt yourself wanting to take a step towards him, wanting to just reach out to him as the tips of your fingers teemed with the longing you felt in your chest. "James," you began, your voice hushed. "It's not all your fault."

You meant it. To try and say to yourself that you had no part in all the confusion between the two of you would be a blatant lie, one that you couldn't let James go on believing, especially not with the pained look on his face.

He only shook his head at you. "It is," he insisted. "And here you go, being perfect towards me when I don't deserve it." A muscle worked overtime in his jaw. "Marlene was right. I was being selfish, and petty, and a lot of other things, but most importantly, I wasn't being a good friend." He paused, a grieving confliction tugging at his brow. "That's ... that's not what friends do."

You went still then too, the word 'friend' hanging in the air between you with a weight that only made you tired. The truth was that cobwebs had grown in the house where you'd fostered that unforgiving title, and it felt like some intangible force had locked you both inside with it blindly.

"Yeah, well," you began, your voice small, "we've been doing plenty of things that friends don't do, lately.Like you said, we kissed, right?" You let out a breathy sound like a laugh that lacked any joy, and the way James's eyes flickered up at you knocked the rest of the air right out of you.

"About that," he began hesitantly, and you could tell he was thinking about both the night it'd happened and that morning when you'd fought, just like you were. "I know you don't want that to mean anything, so it- ... it doesn't have to. Even if I want it to. Because it doesn't matter what I want—what matters to me is you."

You were thankful you had the couch next to you to brace a hand on, because you'd never felt so swept up by a conversation and you weren't sure how much longer you could stand the way your heart was nagging at you.

"You were right," swore James, but the slight shake of his eyes back and forth on your face didn't look as adamant as he sounded. "It's not fair for me to expect something from you when you already got over me."

The words you'd shouted at him in Hogsmeade that morning sounded foreign and wrong coming from his lips, and you knew the months of dishonesty that laced them like you knew the back of your hand.

"And it's too late now, I get that." His voice went from deep and determined to on the cusp of breaking, and it killed you. "I just want to know that you're happy, and if being happy means being with Vance instead of me, then ... I can deal with that."

You watched as he swallowed, like he was forcing the words to come from his lips even if it pained him. The way he hadn't broken eye contact with you the whole while was starting to make your head spin.

Your blinking sped up, maybe holding back the emotion you knew you was fighting to come out, and you whispered, "James."

Maybe you hadn't been loud enough, or maybe he just knew you'd try to disagree with him again, but he only continued determinedly at you.

"I know I probably went and ruined your chances with Vance, like an idiot, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to get you another date with him." He nodded at you once firmly, and within a second he was standing up, taking an intentional step forward. "Hell, I'll even go talk to him right now and-"

"James," you called again, louder this time. "Stop."

You put a hand out and it landed on his arm softly but firmly, and all you could was pray you could find the right words to say to him as he stared at you, level with you now in an unsteadying way.

"You didn't ruin my chances with Sebastian. It wouldn't have worked out regardless, even if I'd wanted it to. Because being with him isn't what I want." You shook your head, recalling back what James had said to you only moments before. "He wouldn't have made me happy." You sounded desperate now. "He's not you."

James stilled, his glistening eyes the only thing showing movement as they danced across your face intensely, though you saw them widen with something bright like hope. "What?"

The confusion of the word that he'd practically whispered out unspeakably attested to how you felt yourself, the terrain of the land you were exploring right there and then with James uncharted and rocky. You pushed on, knowing there was no going back now.

"Marlene wasn't completely right, James. She only said all of those things because I'd spent all this time trying to convince her—and myself—that I didn't still have feelings for you. But I do, clearly." You tipped your head down for a moment in exasperation and exhaustion, willing yourself to keep going. "Everyone can see it. All of our friends. Hell, even Sebastian could see it." You laughed, though your eyes were growing blurry. "So for me to try to push those feelings down any longer would just be lying to you and to myself." You let out an exasperated breath. "And I'm so sick of lying."

Your shoulders sunk as you stood there, a steadily shrinking distance between you and James that was both comforting and daunting to you. You couldn't do anything but watch as James's face stilled and then shifted as he thought, studying your own face in a way that made you conscious of every shift in your expression.

"I just," he began, and then raked a hand through his hair. "Why did you feel like you needed to hide how you felt in the first place?"

You felt your mouth go dry at the question—one you knew came only out of a desperate curiosity and nothing else—and your mind began spinning. The last few years of your friendship seemed to swirl in your head, flickering in and out of focus as you tried to come up with an answer.

"I-" you began, willing yourself to say something, anything at all. "I was scared." The words rang true so much that they made your heart pinch. "Scared that you wouldn't feel the same and I'd go and ruin everything. That I'd lose you."

James's hands lifted up from his sides like he wanted to reach out to you, and he did. He took your hand in his, grasping lightly at your fingertips in a touch that steadied you and made you feel lightheaded at the same time. He shook his head at you with a firm hold in his brow.

"You could never lose me."

His lips were parted, and his hazel eyes glistened over in the low common room lighting like the thought of your suggestion was painful enough on its own. Looking at him then, his face lined with years of a comforting, steadying familiarity, you knew deep in your chest that what he said was true. But that didn't alter all that you'd felt for the past number of years.

"It's not just that," you said, looking down at his hand that held yours and blinking away the guilt that crept into your stomach, because it wasn't James's fault that you had felt this way. "Even in Hogsmeade, James." Your voice was becoming unsteady again and it only frustrated you more. "What if everything you said you felt for me was just some spur-of-the-moment thing from some kiss? What if you didn't feel the same way a week from now? Or a month? I knew I wouldn't be able to get over that fear. Especially when I'd been hiding how I felt from you for years. And then there were your feelings for Lily to think about and ... I don't know."

You trailed off, finally able to stop yourself. You felt petty, so petty, because you were so close to getting what you knew your heart wanted, but you felt the insistent need to ruin things for yourself and think of every way things could go wrong. You'd never felt closer to James then, but also never farther away. All you could do was stand there and wait for him to say something, anything.

James stayed unmoving for a beat staring at you, wordlessly taking everything in with a fragility in the air that hallowed your labored breathing. Then he started to shake his head like he was in disbelief. He ran a hand through his brown hair.

"For Merlin's sake."

His voice was low, a mutter, and he stared at the ground for a moment in thought before dropping the hand that once held yours, turning and walking away from you, leaving up the steps to his dorm room. You watched his back as he disappeared, your fingertips feeling cold and empty.

You felt your blinking speed up in a dizzying confusion. You didn't know what had come over you, not even sure exactly what you'd said in all of your desperate rambling that had made him decide to leave, but your vision started to blur even more than it already had until you recognized the wetness forming beside your eyes.

Nothing made sense. Not then, and not in the last twenty-four hours. You moved until you were sitting down on the couch in front of you, feeling lightheaded as the fireplace crackled a few feet away. The light from outside had left with the sun and the room had a comforting kind of warm lighting, though even that did little to soothe you as you sat there with all the unresolved feelings within you.

You were confused and lost and wanted nothing more than to just fix things, but you were even more at a loss for words when you heard quick footsteps coming from the staircase James had left from, and then saw his returning form making its way down the steps.

You turned your head to him swiftly in confusion, following him and his soft but energetic steps as he came to sit next to you, and that was when you noticed he was holding something—a box. One that was tattered on the corners, its black fabric aged and dusting over.

You wiped at your eyes quickly, brows tugging in all your bewilderment as you waited for James to explain.

"I-" he began, and stopped as soon as his eyes focused more on your face. You must've looked as broken as you felt, and at seeing the look on your face, he held one of your hands in his before swiping across your cheek gently with the pad of his thumb.

You felt like wilting under his soft touch that you'd missed more than anything in the confusing weeks, mentally and physically exhausted from everything but still wanting more than anything to understand.

When you looked perhaps more stable, he looked back at the box that he'd set down beside him and placed it on his lap delicately as he spoke, his words echoing out slowly.

"I know you think I've just realized my feelings for you a week ago, and that they came from some kiss at a party. But, you have to believe me when I say that they're so much more than that." He placed the box in your hands, and you took it from him with a note of fragility, resting it atop your legs. His eyes bore into yours, like it would break him if you couldn't understand the words leaving his lips. He took a shaky breath in. "I need you to know, more than anything, that you're everything to me. You always have been."

Your lips began to shake at the earth-shattering words coming from your best friend's lips. "James, what-"

He stopped you with a gesture of his head that told you to look inside the box, and you did. Carefully, you lifted the flimsy cardboard top and placed it to the side, brows pulling together tight and something loud and hearty threatening to pull from your chest. You shook your head as tears began to well over your eyes again as you recognized what James had given you.

The box, the measly and old mess of cardboard and paper, was full of all the letters you'd written to him over the years—all the thank you notes, the letters you'd sent him from that summer and all the past ones—every single one of them. Your eyes raked over each of them when you felt too stunned to use your hands, but your heart still felt touched by the memories of each one all the same. It took everything in you not to release the sob you felt rising in your lungs.

"It's you. It's always been you."

James's eyes never left your face as you took everything in, the look behind them never having seemed so determined, so desperate. But there was something behind the way he looked at you, something so warm and honest, so familiar that you felt ridiculous for never noticing it before. And when your gaze flickered downward for a second in contemplation he tipped his head to follow it endearingly.

"Always," he promised. "Not Evans, not anyone else. I know I'm a bloody idiot, and I know I haven't been great at showing my emotions when it comes to you, but that's because it's you, and you mean everything to me and have since we were kids, and if this can't make you see that then I promise I'll spend every day trying to make up for it, and-"

"James." You stopped him, not knowing how much longer you could take sitting next to him and not getting rid of the frustrated crease between his brows, or how much longer you could ignore the thrum of your heart that called out to him so clearly now.

"Yeah?" he asked, and his eyes were like a deer in headlights. The warmth in their color reflected the simmering warmth from the fireplace, but that didn't compare to the fire that lay behind his gaze.

You placed the box, his box of the last six years of your friendship and then some, atop the couch next to you, and didn't wait another second before engulfing him in a hug. Your body crashed into his as he leaned back against the couch, his hands coming up to embrace you right away, and you heard him breathe a smile by your ear before he laughed, a perfect noise.

You felt like laughing then too, and crying, and everything else, because you couldn't remember the last time you'd gotten to hold him like this without the fear of revealing too much to him nagging at you. Your cheek pressed against his neck, his curls fanned against the top of your head, his hands held you tight, and you never wanted to leave the safety of his arms. Except to do one thing.

You pulled away from the hug and so did James after a second, his eyes wide and glistening but truly happy. He was smiling widely, his lopsided grin appearing after days like the sun after a storm, and you loved the sight more than anything, locking it away in the back of your mind as a memory you'd keep forever, like the box that sat next to you.

You laid a hand on his chest, another on his cheek, and James grasped the one that was flattened on his chest in his own, quickly glancing down at your hand in his like he couldn't believe he was holding it. He pulled you into him with it and leaned his head on yours.

"It's always been you, too," you whispered, and his eyes glanced down at your lips as you said the quiet words that'd been lingering on your lips for much too long. You had to push away your smile because you were aching to just kiss him like you'd wanted to for years. With a courage that could've only come from Godric himself, you finally did.

You leaned in until your lips met, a flutter of skin dancing shyly together until you leaned into him even further, and suddenly it felt like the crash of a wave, and sounded like the earth was moving beneath your feet, the sound of something right—and this time, you knew it felt the same for him too, because you could feel his boyish grin that you'd spent years admiring tugging against your lips.

You were kissing your best friend. For real this time. It felt so impossible for your mind to imagine such a thing, but luckily it didn't have to.

James moved his hands but they never left you, one sliding through your hair smoothly and one delicately holding your waist like you were something fragile. Butterflies fluttered through you at his touch, something familiar but foreign, wrong but also right, and somessilyperfect. You couldn't believe you'd spent all those years just a few words away from getting to feel it, getting to be surrounded by it.

You pulled away after a moment, your lips feeling puffy and burning with the heat of his kiss, but all you could think about was how free you felt, how happy you were that he was finally yours.

James looked down at you, his eyes dancing all across your face and stopping on your lips, and then somehow growing even warmer when they met yours again.

"I can't-" he began with a slight disbelieving shake of his head, voice coming out breathless and dazed as heat flushed into your own cheeks at the sight. "I can't believe..."

You laughed, feeling out of breath too, and adjusted the glasses that now perched crookedly on James's nose in an agonizingly cute way.

"Me neither," you finished for him, because you knew just how he felt, a secret the both of you shared; it was the only secret you still wanted to keep.

And it was a feeling you never wanted to have to live without again. Though now, with him in your arms and his familiar chocolate curls still brushing against your forehead, you knew you would never have to.

taglist!!

@hisparentsgallerryy @msmk11 @garfieldsladybird @empath-bunny @urmykindofwoman @bambi-jp @babyclea @kenjikishimotoswifey @cloudroomblog @the-marauders-mapp @mooonyxoxo @imgondeletedis @moon-flowerrs @fruticake @arey0usirius @marauroon @swiftsgirlfriend @jamieolivia27 @magicwithaknife

[actuallysaiyan]

The First Time(Aka How Nanami Kento Lost His Virginity) Chapter Three: Les Sucettes

Chapter Three: Les Sucettes

warnings: past trauma, mentions of death, flirting, mentions of periods, oral sex(male receiving) pairings: Emo!Nanami Kento x Fem!Reader summary: it's been a few weeks since you and Kento were able to hang out since the last time, and the one time you two do hang out, your period starts. no matter, you show him how things can be with you on your knees.

taglist: @beneathstarryskies @seireiteihellbutterfly @kenpachisbrat @marikuchanxo @harlekin6

@gennaray

@markleeisdabestdrug. @benkeibear

MDNI and support banners by the wonderful @benkeibear

Masterlist

The next few weeks fly by. The semester is coming to an end and you have to cram for exams. You and Kento remain good friends, though you two don’t find the time to hang out while the exams are coming up. You two make promises to hang out whenever you can, but most of the time you’re communicating through cute little texts and sending each other links to funny videos on the internet.

As the week of exams starts winding down and you find yourself relaxing just a little more, you find yourself wanting to spend even more time with Kento. You find yourself missing him more than you’d like to admit. You were developing a crush and you were beginning to wonder if he was feeling the same way about you.

The way he texts you would suggest he’s quite fond of you. He uses lots of emoticons and silly faces, and he’s so quick to text you back. You even notice that he texts you back while you’re both in class. He makes you giggle and kick your feet whenever you’re laying stomach down on your bed. You both stay up late into the wee hours of the night, wanting to hold onto these little memories like they would fly away if you weren’t careful.

Other times, you worry if maybe you’ve said too much. You worry that maybe you and Kento have a hard time communicating, but he’s always quick to text back as soon as he can to remind you that he is, indeed, still your friend and he cares for you.

He spoke a little more about his friend dying when they were younger. He tells you about how they went to a boarding school together and that something very dangerous had happened. It was an incident that left him shaken and devastated. Kento told you that the minute he graduated from the boarding school, he packed up his things and left. He’s never looked back since.

You felt like you understood Kento just a little more. He was slowly becoming your best friend, and now you were definitely sure you had a major crush on him. He was quiet and sullen most times, but he had a boyish charm to him. He didn’t try to impress you, he just did with the person he was.

And now that the exam period was coming to an end, you were wanting to see if maybe Kento would be interested in hanging out with you. You were thinking about how much fun it would be to maybe fool around with him. And even if it didn’t come to that either, it would still be fun to have company after such a grueling week. Just even the thought of being near him was making you excited.

You text him that night and you begin to get ready for him to come over. You’re excited at the prospect of fooling around when you feel your stomach cramping. An angry and frustrated sigh escapes you as you make your way into the bathroom. Leave it to your period to show up when you want to have a little fun

You change into your comfiest pair of sweatpants and baggy sweater. Kento knocks on the door of your dorm and when you open it, he’s never seen a cuter sight. You have a slight pout on your face, which furthers his feelings for how cute you look..

“Hi Kento,” you let him in.

He places the bag of food on the coffee table and sits on the couch. You join him, throwing yourself dramatically into the blankets. Kento’s a little confused, but then it all starts to click a little bit. He turns to you with a concerned look on his face.

“Are you not feeling well?” He inquires, his hand reaching to feel your forehead for a fever.

You shudder softly at his touch, “Uhm…not sick. I’m uh…” your heart sinks. “I’m on my period.”

Kento blinks a few times, then the concerned look returns to his face. He reaches over to gently squeeze your shoulder. He knows this can be a tough time for women, and he knows that he should approach this with a delicate demeanor.

“I’m sorry. I know it’s natural, but it still mustn't feel good.”

You shake your head, “It’s okay. Just some cramping. I’ll feel better after we eat.”

Kento pulls the food out of the bag and he gives you your portion. The two of you begin to watch an episode of your favorite anime and talk about the exams that just passed. You’re happy that the conversation continues to just flow between the two of you. It doesn’t feel like things got awkward between now and the time you two spent apart since your last hangout.

The thought of him cumming in his pants the last time has been playing in your mind for weeks. You desperately want to see his ‘O’ face again. You want to be the one who brings him to orgasm in the best way possible. Thoughts of how he might sound if he were in the throes of passion that he anticipated had been all you could think about for weeks at a time.

Now that Kento was finally back in your dorm room, you weren’t even going to be enjoying this time sexually. You had fantasized about him for so long, and now you weren’t even able to do anything with him.

Then the idea pops into your head. You weren’t going to rush him into anything, nor were you going to push him into anything. But there was something that could make you see him come undone just for you. You would definitely be able to make him cum just for you if he wanted it.

The anime continues to play even when you’ve packed up the leftovers and thrown away the trash. There’s this tension built between you and Nanami, but you aren’t sure how to approach the situation. Slowly, you reach over to take his hand in yours.

He smiles at you, making you swoon. Then you both begin to lean in. Kento surprises you by kissing you first, and you notice just how much better he’s gotten at this. Especially since that first time. He’s gentle as he cups your face, his thumbs caressing your cheeks so lovingly.

“You’re better at kissing,” you comment with a smirk.

Kento blushes, “I had a good teacher.”

This is when you giggle softly. You kiss him back, this time it’s a little hungrier. He’s quick to catch on too, not sure how far you want to take this tonight. He knows he shouldn’t expect anything considering you’re on your period.

But he eagerly kisses you back, his hand coming to cradle the back of your head. He touches you like you were made out of glass and the slightest little touch might make you crumble in front of him. You bring your hands up to caress his chest, and instantly Nanami feels his cock twitching.

“B-but…” he tries to reason with you.

“Just because we can’t do anything together, it doesn’t mean I can’t make you feel good.”

His eyes widen when you push a pillow to the ground. Then you kneel in front of him, and his cock is now rock hard. He’s never had a blowjob, of course, but he’s dreamt of this day for so long. He’s watched so many blowjob scenes in porn, but nothing could ever prepare him for the real thing.

Your fingers toy with his studded belt, making his stomach flutter. Then you unbuckle it, leaving him feeling just the littlest bit lightheaded. The minute you unzip his pants, he’s already feeling like he’s not going to last long. But with the way you were so eager to comfort him the last time, he knows it’s okay if he blows his load early. 

“Just relax, okay? Lemme make you feel so good.”

His cock is throbbing in your hand when you help him pull down his pants and boxers. Your eyes widen when you see just how large he is. Your fingers don’t even touch when you try to wrap your hand around him. You swallow hard before looking up at him.

The sound that comes from his lips is downright pitiful and pathetic, but it makes your clit throb. Your tongue makes the slightest bit of contact with his tip, just lapping up his precum. Then you wrap your lips around it, suckling so gently. Kento’s breathing becomes very shallow.

“F-fuck,” he pants. “H-how am I supposed to–ahh fuck–how am I supposed to last?”

You release him with a pop, “It’s okay to cum quickly,”

You wink at him before you sink down onto his cock. Your mouth is so warm and so wet, it makes his head spin and his heart flutter. He’s scared to look down at you because he knows he’ll blow his load immediately. 

Pants and whimpers escape his lips as you begin to bob your head up and down, and the minute the tip of his cock hits the back of your throat, he knows he’s hooked. This is the type of feeling he wants to feel all the time. His hands are shaky as they settle in your hair; he’s not pushing either. 

“I’m so fucking close,” he grunts. “C-can I cum in your mouth?”

You look up at him through your lashes, and Kento lets out a strangled moan. You nod your head as best as you can with such a thick cock down your throat, and Kento moans your name. You swallow around him, and that’s what pulls him over the edge.

Spurts of hot cum fill your mouth and slide down your throat as you continue to suck him through his orgasm. He’s grunting and moaning and whining as the pleasure washes over him. Kento’s left a panting and shaking mess as you slowly pull off of him.

You press a kiss to his cheek before you leave the room. He’s left with his thoughts for a few moments before you return with a warm washcloth. His heart feels full of affection for you. You gently clean up his still leaking and twitching cock before helping him tuck it back into his pants. You sit down next to him and Kento surprises you again with a kiss on your lips.

“Thank you,” he whispers. “Thank you for everything. Next time, I want to return the favor, okay?”

You nod, “You’re welcome. And maybe next time…we can go out to dinner first?”

Kento smiles, “I’d love to take you out.”

You rest your head on his shoulder and he rests his head against yours. You both feel so relaxed and relieved.

[w2beastars]

Waezi2′s thoughts on “Beast Complex” chapter 25

So, I know we were all disgusted by the freak South who dated a lizard who was the same species as him(ewww). So I am happy to tell you all that we are going back to some good ol' freaky furry romance.

Better yet, this chapter is about Haru and Legosi!

The main couple of Beastars now practically live together since their universities are pretty close to each other. Haru is doing her third year in college and Legosi, now with a clean criminal record, is doing his first year in college, studying entomology.

Good for you, Legosi :) It is never too late to get back to school!

So, the wolf and the rabbit has been together for three years now and (for the most part) live together. You know what that means...

Oh yeah! They sleep together!

... In separate beds! There is no sex whatsoever!

Haru asks the same question as the rest of us: HOW?!?!?

Well, the first night Haru spent at Legosi's place, the ussual happened:

Like most wolves, Legosi makes small bites when he gets overly exited. Haru didn't get hurt, she got a scratch behind her ear, it's not the end of the world.

But afterwards, their relationship has been... well, casual.

There is no sexy atmosphere between them since the biting incident. They still spend their free time together, but it is almost like they are a middle-aged married couple where they brush their teeth together and everyday stuff like that. It bothers Haru a great deal since she is a college girl and it makes her feel old, makes the two of them feel old. She would like to get wild while she is still young... But to be fair, don't you think you had plenty of fun already, Haru?

I'm not slut-shaming or anything, just saying.

Anyways, Haru contacts Juno. Yep, everyone's favorite queen wolf is back!

Two things I noticed is that Haru now calls her "chan", implying a bit more friendly relationship between the two of them. Second is that even though Juno is here to give Haru input and advise about wolves, we don't get to learn anything about what her life is like right now.

YOU ARE KILLING ME, PARU!!! YOU ARE TORTURING ME SPECIFICALLY BY NOT LETTING US LEARN WHAT HER LIFE POST-LOUIS IS LIKE!

As I was saying, Haru wants Juno to give her advice to kick Legosi's wolf instincts into high gear. Juno is unsure if that's such a great idea(no duh!) but share what would normally make a male wolf... excited.

There is just one problem... Legosi is... well, Legosi.

He is a terrible mix of extremely polite, concerned and dense.

Nothing Haru does triggers Legosi, he misreads the signals completely and Haru starts to wonder if they have simply lost their spark.

Then, one night as Haru goes to bed disappointed that she haven't unleashed the beast so to say, she sees that Legosi is awake.

It's full moon, and Legosi can't help it but to stay up and watch it. Even if it is bogus that the moon should somehow affect wolves, Legosi and his fellow canines are still emotionally attached to it. Haru says she can relate to this to some degree, probably because rabbits have a religious connection to the moon.

This is possibly the first thing their species have in common. So the two of them goes for a late night/early morning stroll, enjoying the beautiful moon.

The two of them just enjoy each other's company, it's nice and quiet. They are not tired from class or trying to study or doing everyday tasks, meaning they can actually connect on a emotional level.

And then we get the twist:

As stated earlier, Legosi accidentally scratched Haru's ear when he got "excited" and Haru assumed it killed the vibe between them. But this seems to imply that he was waiting for the wound to heal completely.

Or maybe it is because they are both relaxed that Legosi feels less anxious.

Either way, they don't spend this night in separate beds.

I'm gonna be honest, it was not the best Haru x Legosi story I read, I would have liked a bit more of the classic Paru insanity. But I very much enjoyed it, and this specific story shouldn't have that much crazy because it is about the lack of insanity in the wolf and rabbit's life. We get to see that Legosi can finally get a real career and even achieve his dream of working with insects and how much they have evolved as an actual couple, not just furry angst and tension between the rabbit and wolf. It also feels like Paru is ending Beast Complex for real this time to focus more on her other projects, and if that's the case then this was a nice way to end it.

I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

[axigailxo]

Pretty Like You | PJM (2)

part two: parties and pilates

series summary. where jimin is jealous of the beauty that is you, writes about it, and falls apart when you accidentally read it.

pairing. feminine!jimin x reader

rating. M | 18+ |

genre. enemies to lovers, feminine!jimin, self hatred au, slight identity crisis, self love journey, smut, sub! jimin, angst, fluff, heartfelt

w.c. 4.8k

warnings. heavy descriptions of self hate and self abuse later into the story, please be advised. mention of “unaliving” in this chapter.

ch summary. where oc convinces jimin to go to a frat party in an attempt to break him out of his shell

**this is part 2 of my series pretty like you, not a stand-alone

series masterlist | <-previous | next ->

“And then despite it all, she asked if I wanted to talk, can you believe it?”

It’s been a couple of days since the incident at the art room, and Jimin can’t stop ranting about it like it’s new news. He still hasn’t texted you, and it’s not like he could since he doesn’t even have your number. He could get it from you in class, but thats a little hard when he’s on a streak of skipping.

After you suggested to help him embark on a self love journey, Jimin has been so damn confused. He doesn’t know whether to jump at the opportunity, rot away in embarrassment that you read his journal, or be slightly offended that you’d suggest help when he thinks he’s just fine. Kind of.

All options are tempting, nonetheless.

Daisy, Jimin’s cat that is currently victim to listening about what happened for the hundredth time, lifts up off her soft body and saunters out of his room. What? She’s fed up.

Jimin, who is suffering from her rude and sudden exit, huffs as he debates whether he should follow up about that whole thing with you. Because despite all his options, he’s leaning more towards just avoiding you at all costs and pretending that situation never even happened.

Except he’ll remember. It’ll haunt him and his thoughts every night until he finally just addresses it.

And so that’s why he should go to class today. Maybe. Jimin squints his eyes as he contemplates and considers, ultimately deciding that coffee is the first step that should be taken. Especially since it’s way too early to have a crisis, that can wait for later. Per usual.

Making his way to his Keurig, he pops a peppermint mocha flavored pod into the top compartment followed by a little water in another compartment until he’s clicking a button to brew it.

“So now you like me,” Jimin scoffs as Daisy rubs against his ankle, excited for Jimin to give her breakfast.

Commanding to the manipulation of the feline, Jimin grabs a can of cat food out of a cupboard, internally scolding himself for being nice and buying her the expensive kind again.

Although, Jimin can’t blame Daisy for being fed up with all his predicaments. He would be too. However spilling to Daisy is much more acceptable than telling it all to his human best friend, Taehyung.

Jimin has already thought about the fact that if he spends time with you, whether it be for a self love journey or not, that’d be breaking some sort of bro code with Tae.

You’re Taehyung’s crush, and Jimin respects that. Plus it’s not like Taehyung has to worry, you’re out of Jimin’s league anyway.

However that hard on be got the other night still baffles him. He’s narrowed it down to being that you’re just attractive and he’s just a gross horny man. But not even that sounds right.

Jimin has thought about inviting Taehyung to every outing you may have together, but he can’t. How in hell would he explain to his best friend that the whole reason he’s seeing you is so that he can learn to accept himself and flaunt that feminine side of him? Let alone explain to him that you read his journal full of how much he envies and adores you at the same time. He can’t. More specifically, he won’t. Taehyung doesn’t need to meet that side of him, Jimin thinks. It’s for the better.

Jimin ponders for a second, and he hates himself for pouring his coffee into a travel cup and slinging his backpack over his shoulder. He figures since he’s already keeping a secret from Tae, one more shouldn’t hurt. Plus he can’t avoid you forever. There’s really only one thing to do now.

“Eat up Daisy, I’ll be back after class.”

“Jimin? Hey!”

Standing in line at the campus’s cafe, Jimin washes over in a cold sweat as the loud call of his name attracts the attention of almost everyone near. He came here to get an additional caffeine boost before class and more importantly stall from talking to you, but it’s just his luck that you’d be here too.

“Hi,” he mutters awkwardly, eyes on the ground the second you get closer.

He’s never seen you so up-close before. He wonders if your skin has always looked so smooth.

He wishes his skin were as smooth.

“I was gonna call to ask about your no shows in class but I completely forgot to give you my number the last time we talked.”

Jimin finds this incredibly new and odd. Just a few days ago he hated you without knowing you and now you’re talking to him like a friend. It’s definitely going to take some getting used to.

“Here,” you say as you hand him your phone, a new contact page open and ready for him to fill out. “That way we can talk out of school, plus I found multiple super-helpful self esteem websites that you might li—“

“Y/N,” Jimin halts your enthusiasm. Again, way too early in the morning for this. “Can we not talk about it in such a public place?”

His tone is hushed and embarrassed, trying not to let the several eyes on them to hear that he’s struggling with self esteem. God this is so much more depressing than Jimin initially thought it’d be.

“Of course, yeah no my bad.” You rush your words, retracting your hand down before Jimin grabs the phone from you, typing his number.

“I dont expect you to waste time on me. Just text when you have absolutely nothing else to do. This isn’t important enough to occupy your schedule.”

Immediately, you frown at his words. Sure this is important. And contrary to his request, you already cleared something off of your schedule for him.

“First off, this is important. I won’t have you taking down on yourself anymore.”

Jimin so badly wants to ask why, but he won’t because that’s rude and you don’t deserve anymore rudeness from him. Not after what you read in the art room.

“Secondly, I already cancelled pilates for you. I have something else fun planned for us.”

Jimin can’t help his sudden snicker.

“What?” You ask, slightly offended.

“Nothing, it’s just funny you take pilates. Of course you do.”

You wanted to carry on with being offended, but you felt a pang of accomplishment upon getting him to laugh. Progress, you think.

“Yeah yeah,” you dismiss as you tuck your phone into your back pocket, trailing back out of the cafe. “Laugh all you want but just know that this ass didn’t grow itself!”

You: u, me, frat party tonight at 9.

Sat on the hard seats of the lecture hall, Jimin’s eyes go wide as he reads your reply to his text.

The second you sauntered out of the cafe, you were quick to text Jimin in hopes to break the tension between you two— which technically isn’t tension at all given Jimin is the only one who finds your new friendship odd. Well him and the rest of the students who saw you two talking together.

Jimin had asked what you had planned, and when you replied with frat party, he felt physically ill.

Jimin: absolutely not. sorry.

You: hear me out, it’s not even a big party

You: it’s very discreet and there’s only gonna be a couple people

Jimin locks eyes with you from across the room and mouths “no” with an adamant shake of his head. You roll your eyes before your thumbs get back to texting him.

You: we can pregame before we go so u can loosen up

You: if you’re with me, there’s nothing to worry about

Jimin wants to be offended. He most definitely does not need you at his rescue. The intent however was a little sweet. God Jimin is reminded exactly why he despised you— you’re perfect.

Jimin: i’ll think about it. that’s not a yes.

He pretends he doesn’t notice the little happy dance you do in your seat, nor the squeal of excitement you let out even though he didn’t give a definite answer.

Jimin starts to smile, but when he looks to his left he sees someone else who’s smiling at you and it vanishes. Taehyung. Completely gawking at you, Jimin fights that weird feeling that suddenly engulfs him. Maybe it’s the fact he’s hiding his new friendship with you from Tae.

Either that or somewhere in his subconscious, he doesn’t like how Tae is smiling at you.

“God dude, isn’t she so cute.” Tae whispers, completely oblivious to why you’re dancing in you’re seat.

Jimin trails his gaze to his lap as a bitter mood takes hold of him.

“Yeah… definitely.”

Jimin is in a rut.

Even though he’s still not certain about going to that party, finding a potential outfit never hurt anyone. Moments after he got home he was already sucked into his closet by the magnetic pull of all the great clothes he has— even though he knows himself well enough to understand he will end up changing into his “boy clothes” no matter what he ends up choosing.

He slips on a black, oversized distressed sweater. The seams are ripped in just the right places, leaving a fraction of his chest, his belly, and a dash of his waist to be visible beneath the shredded fabric. The back showcases a fair amount of skin as well.

This one, Jimin thinks to himself, isn’t so feminine. It’s doable. Maybe.

He wants to pair it with a skirt but that would only be a waste of time because if he can’t even leave his apartment in a skirt to check the mailbox, he sure as hell will not be wearing it to a frat party of all places.

He grabs a pair of black chinos that he thrifted not so long ago, letting it rest low on his waist. He pulls the look together with black combat boots and a dainty necklace that he tucks beneath the sweater. It makes him feel pretty despite the fact he’s the only one aware it’s on him.

He steps back to absorb the outfit in the mirror, and he feels good. It’s a combination of both masculine and feminine and it’s definitely testing the waters but Jimin knows his night won’t be enjoyable in the least if he wears a baggy hoodie or tee. He likes what he has on, even if the frat boys will give him shit for it. Which they definitely will.

He hears Daisy meow across the room, and upon directed his gaze to her his eyes settle on the makeup bag tucked into the far back corner of his desk.

He’s tempted, he is. But he can’t. He’s not ready yet.

Just as he begins to walk towards his desk, only enticing himself further, a knock on his door is heard and he takes that as a sign from god herself that he should skip the makeup.

With a sigh, he heads to the door.

“Knock… Knock… Knock!”

“Just a minute! For fuck’s sake.”

Irritated at the swat team-like announcement, Jimin swings the door open to reveal none other than Jessica Rabbit?

“You didn’t tell me it was a costume party!” Jimin complains as he steps aside, gesturing you to come in.

Both hands holding a bottle of E&J, you let yourself in and place the bottle on his countertop.

“Oh yeah, it’s a costume party.”

“It’s not even halloween,” Jimin states the obvious as he instinctively heads for two glasses out of his cupboard.

“It’s to make up for last year. There was a big game the day of halloween so none of the guys were in a party mentality.”

Party Mentality?

Jimin can’t believe he’s hearing about frat news from you, who is in his apartment dressed like Jessica Rabbit and is downing a shot straight from the bottle. What has his life come to.

You notice him staring so you apologize as you offer him the bottle to pour.

“Figured we’d pregame like I said. Also we gotta figure out a costume for you. Ooh what about a slutty artist or something.”

Jimin swears you make him lose brain cells. Sliding a now-filled glass toward you, he takes a large gulp of his own.

“Slutty artist?” He thinks out loud. “I’m fine with what I have on.”

Jimin counts down the seconds until you praise his bold sweater choice, but he can feel the alcohol rise back up when you say the opposite.

“In all honestly I thought that was a sleep shirt. We’re putting you in something else.”

You navigate yourself straight to what you assume is him bedroom, and Jimin nearly falls flat on his face chasing after you.

This may be a bit embarrassing for Jimin to admit to himself, but he’s never had a girl in his room before. It’s intimate, he thinks. Having someone inside a room that has witnessed every one of his breakdowns, outfit changes, alone time moments, etcetera. Jimin cringes as memories from the other night come back to him.

“Cute room,” you tell him as you look around, admiring the fairy lights and album covers displayed. Jimin was always big on music. Maybe posters were too far given his age, but he didn’t care. He never thought someone else would ever see them.

Although, Tae has been to Jimin’s place before. He knows about the posters and fairy lights. Though he never once questioned it or even talked about it. Only when he called that one poster of Ariana Grande hot. That’s what Jimin likes about Tae, he never questions him. But it’s not like Jimin gives him much to wonder about. He’s completely masked to the eyes of his best friend.

“This,” you start, dramatic tone and all, “this is gorg.” You hold out his favorite black skirt, and it’s lightening quick how fast he snatches it from you.

“No.” He tells you, cheeks getting hot. He’s embarrassed to say the least. He knows you know about his self esteem issues, but you have yet to discover his fondness for feminine clothing. But you have now.

“What? You’re embarrassed I found a skirt? If it’s socially acceptable for women to wear sweats, then it should be acceptable for men to wear skirts.”

Someone who gets it, Jimin thinks. This is the first time he’s ever felt understood when it comes to this, and he doesn’t quite know what to say.

“But skirt or no skirt, I think it’s important that you feel sexy tonight.”

“And why is that?” Jimin plays along. He takes a seat on the edge of his bed as you continue to look through his wardrobe.

“Because halloween parties exist solely for people to feel sexy all night.”

“It’s not halloween,” Jimin argues again, earning a shirt thrown at his face. Giggling, he holds it out in front of him.

You stand in front of his closet with a look of excitement on your face. His reaction disappoints you, however.

“Y/N, no. I can’t wear this out.”

“Just try it on.”

He knew this was part of your plan to get him to gain a little confidence and even convince him to leave the house in something he feels good in, but Jimin is adamant. He cannot wear this.

It’s a fitted baseball tee, extremely cropped and a shade of pale pink. Jimin cannot leave the house like this, despite how good it makes him feel deep down.

Reluctant and a tad shy, Jimin removes his sweatshirt from his body as he replaces it with what you threw at him. In the short moment he was bare, you might’ve stole a glance at his figure. His body is perfect, you think. Slim waist with faint yet toned abs and a noticeable amount of muscle on his arms. You take another sip of the drink that has yet to leave your hand.

“I look stupid.”

“You look sexy.”

The compliment was unexpected and was more than enough to have Jimin’s eyes widen. He breaks eye contact because how could he not, and he self consciously wraps an arm around his stomach.

More so his lap.

“I don’t know,” he says faintly, mumbling over his speech. “I think it’s a bit much.”

“Change to grey sweats. You can tell people you’re a 60’s athlete, they dressed like this back in the day you know.”

Yeah right, tell a bunch of actual scary frat boy athletes that’s he’s mocking their style from the 60’s.

His brows furrow when you step closer to him, reclining down and reaching for the skirt he had snatched from you. You grab one of his wrists, placing the bunched up material into his hand. His cheeks are on fire, his heartbeat picking up.

“Try it on,” you whisper. “For me.”

And fuck. Jimin is fully erect. He physically cannot bring himself to stand let alone change in front of you. He pushes your hand away, never wanting to disappear so badly.

“Another time. You already got me to wear this tee, baby steps.”

Disappointed, you think he’s right. You can’t beg him to gain confidence to wear an entire outfit like this on the first day of his journey. It takes time, and luck for Jimin you’re very patient.

“Another time,” you repeat softly.

Jimin has been to a function with very little people before. He knows what a small little get together looks like. This party— it isn’t that.

“You said a couple people!” He shouts over the blairing music as you pull him through the front hall and to the packed kitchen.

He has no clue who’s house this is and he hasn’t seen a single normal person. Everyone is either drunk, high, or the worst: a frat. He shivers in discomfort before you bring a shot glass to his lips.

“Guess word spread and more people came, no biggie.”

He downs the shot of what turns out to be tequila, wincing as he coughs out a reply.

“Huge biggie.” He looks around the crowded house after a bystander drunkenly bumps into him and slurs an incoherent apology.

This was a mistake.

“Y/N, what is the point of me being here? This isn’t making me feel good about myself in the least, this isn’t my environment.”

You take another shot before quickly grabbing a lime and placing it between Jimin’s plump lips, and before he can register what you’re doing, your lips are already on his as you suck from the lime. Nipping the fruit with your teeth you pull it out and drop it into the sink, grin wide as Jimin turns fire hydrant red.

That shouldn’t count as a kiss, but you just sort-of-kissed Jimin. His mouth is dry, heartbeat in his stomach, and he is hyper alert on the way his knees are subtly shaking.

“Ease up Jimin, it’s gonna be a long night.”

He didn’t know it then but that’s the last time he’d be seeing you until the end of the party. He sauntered off to a random couch that was unoccupied for the most part, only some random (and gross) couple having a full blown make out session on the opposite side.

He made sure to keep his cup filled the whole night as that’s the only thing keeping him from walking straight out the door and back into the comfort of anything that’s not this party.

He’s spotted Tae a few times, who is dressed as Jack from the titanic, but Tae hasn’t noticed him yet which is probably because his rather different fashion approach and the fact he’s at a frat party. If anything that should be a reason Tae spots him since he’s the odd one out, Jimin thinks. Then again it is a costume party and no one look normal per-say. Nor is Tae the sharpest tool in the shed.

He also thanks the universe for not letting Tae notice you and Jimin arrive together.

He’s been glancing at you for a while now, the way you sway your hips to the rap song playing on the surround sound speakers. The way your skin is glowing even under the dim, groggy lights of the house. He watches the way smoke exits your mouth as Tae places a blunt between your perfect lips. He looks away when Tae also places a hand on your waist, dancing with you so intimately that it pains Jimin to see.

He knows he’ll be hearing all about this from Tae. You’re his favorite person, he’s probably over the moon about dancing with you right now.

“Jimin?” Speaking of the devil.

Jimin waves awkwardly as Tae whispers something to you and proceeds to walk towards his direction. You go off to dance with a frat guy who’s been waiting all night to have your attention. Jimin finds him pathetic.

“What are you doing here? You never come to these kinds of things.”

The music is loud but that’s nothing compared to how deep and confident Tae’s voice is. Despite Jimin’s desire to be more feminine, there are some masculine traits he wishes to have. A deeper voice is one of them. Not Tae’s level of deep, but deeper than what his currently is.

“A friend forced me to,” he admits, not naming names because how could he.

“Oh you have friends?” The younger man teases, earning a grumpy eye roll from Jimin. He takes another swig out of his cup.

Jimin remembers what he’s wearing and wonders why his best friend hasn’t said anything about it yet. He almost wants to point it out so it doesn’t awkwardly go unsaid and leaves Tae to catch on to his secret need for femininity.

“Like my costume?” Jimin asks, masking the fact that this is actually just a random shirt he’s had in his wardrobe and not a costume.

Tae gives him a quick once over, not lingering his eyes on the top for long.

“Oh what are you supposed to be?”

He definitely thought that wasn’t a costume and instead a normal outfit. Jimin cringes, hating you right now more than ever for making him show up in this. But he also loves you for providing him with the save he’s about to use on Tae.

“I’m a 60’s athlete. They used to dress like this you know.”

Taehyung hums, genuinely convinced.

“Wah that’s clever. I thought that was yours for a sec.”

Jimin hates himself for what he’s about to say.

“Why on earth would I own a pink crop top, that’s ridiculous.”

They laugh it off, and Jimin feels a gut wrenching pang in his stomach. That sentence wasn’t made for him, and it made him a liar and a hypocrite to his own desire.

He needs to go now before he says even more self damaging nonsense.

“Hey Tae, do you think you can get me a blunt?” Jimin asks in hopes to excuse his friend and, well, get high.

“Is this coming from the same person that said smoking isn’t good for you?”

Jimin remembers when he said that but he’s far too drained to be defensive or right. He shrugs as he admits to his hypocrisy.

“Yeah well so are frat parties but here I am. Cough one up, I know you have some.”

Tae stands up to reach in his front pocket, pulling out a steep tin that reveals 3 joints. He hands one to Jimin, telling him a brief “I’ll be back” before vanishing to find you again.

Something told Jimin to stay at the party despite how badly he wanted to go. He thought about how it may make you sad if he were to just leave, then he ridded that idea because why on earth would that make you sad. Nevertheless, he glanced outside to see if the crowd was acceptable to join. It wasn’t.

Deciding to not smoke with a bunch of frat guys, he goes the alternative route and heads for the hallway to secure an empty room. When he succeeds, he closes the door behind him and props the window open as he lights the tip of his joint.

He doesn’t smoke often, barely at all, but he needed this. As the smoke entered into his mouth he inhaled it eagerly, head rolling back as he slowly blows it all back out. This feels good, he thinks. The atmosphere on the other hand still could be better.

Jimin laughs to himself. Smoking weed at a frat party you invited him to. The world is funny that way, he nods to himself. Almost as funny as how you’re all he can think about right now.

He doesn’t know what it is. It’s not hate. For sure not love. He’s just thinking about you. Perhaps he misses your company? Or the way your skirts never reveal too much but just enough to drive him crazy.

The way your pouty lips move when you talk.

Your soft skin.

Your silky voice.

The way you look in that Jessica Rabbit costume you wore tonight.

Jimin is painfully erect, and without even noticing his hand has been palming himself desperately this entire time, blunt being delicately held in the other hand, occasionally being brought up for more puffs to fuel what he’s doing right now.

“Fuck Y/N, yes.”

He unties his sweats. One more rough drag and he kills the blunt on the rim of the windowsill, both hands focusing on himself now. One hand tugging his waistband down, the other guiding himself out. And all he can think about is how sexy you are.

He gets carried away, going so fast on himself that he doesn’t hear or see the door open. He’s high beyond belief, god only knows what Taehyung had laced in that blunt, and so when he sees you he swears his imagination is just very vivid.

Until his conscience registers and he almost squeals as he lunges back in shock of the situation.

Quickly you run up to him just in time to pull his entire body back and preventing him from falling out the window. You’re breathing heavy, half because of what you saw moments before and partially because you just saved his life.

“Fuck Jimin, be careful.”

And how fucking peculiar it is that you’re not addressing his cock that is out in the open between the two of you.

Jimin can’t speak. He almost literally died from being caught jerking himself to you while being high out his mind.

What a fucking legacy he’d have left.

After catching his breath he frantically goes to put himself away but his hand is stopped by yours.

“You know people sneak into rooms at parties to have sex with each other, not to do themselves.”

His cheeks flush red.

“Only freaks do that.”

Jimin has wanted to before, but he officially wants to unalive himself. How pathetic he is, he thinks.

“I’m sorry, I… I’m really high right now and I thought I locked the—“

He cuts himself off when you guide his hand back onto himself.

“You’re not gonna ask me why I came in here?”

Jimin takes a deep breath.

“Why?”

You pull your bottom lip into your mouth, very slowly putting his own hand into motion against himself.

“Because I’m a freak too.”

Your words came out in a faint whisper but Jimin’s senses are heightened and he hears it like a megaphone in his ears. Your tits are practically spilling out your tiny red tube dress as you lean to help him stroke himself. A shiver cascades down his whole body, an unintentional yet hesitant whimper rumbling off his throat.

You giggle, then abruptly you stand. You lean down and peck him on his frozen, plump lips.

“Have a good night Jimin, I’ll be in contact for our next power move.” You walk towards the door. “Masturbating is a good way to show yourself love, kudos to you kid.”

Jimin’s hand is glued to his stiff cock, frozenly just keeping it there as he stares at you with his mouth agape.

“I’ll lock this on my way out, by all means finish and do not fall out any windows.”

And just like that you open the door only a couple inches and squeeze out to give him privacy. He’s left in the same spot, still in absolute shock.

You’re perfect.

You’re beautiful, and apparently so fucking sexy in sexual situations. It takes only one more stroke and one more thought of you for Jimin to reach the finish line, cum dropping down his hand and shaft as he fucks into his fist.

He breathes jaggedly until he’s drained of all energy and collapses on the bed.

To his shock, he’s not freaking out. He’s actually smiling. Then again that could easily be the weed talking. What did taehyung put in that anyway?

Jimin’s smile dissipates as an ugly thought sends a cold chill throughout him.

You’re his best friend’s crush. You’re Taehyung's. And he just betrayed him. Jimin hates how the universe works sometimes. When one thing goes well, the whole world goes to shit.

The world is funny that way.

ply pt 2???? im sorry for how long it took luvies, last year was so intense. i hope you all are still here to read😿 run this uppppp cuties!! til next time luvs🤭❤️

🏷️: @exactlygreatcoffee @sweetieguk @ctrlsht @blessrious @someusername133 @dreamer-pjm @zadkielr @dearsullix @lailaaxd @osakis-gf @jnghs @seltansworld @bxnqtxnie @moon-kid39 @mawwnsterr @zadkielr @iamjimintrash @chansbaybygirl @canarystwin @dearsullix @polyparkj @mannymalfoy @jmincore @kyglover @coralmusicblaze @midnightangel13 @jm-jkfics @lovelyflower02 @xcherrywaltz

soooo many of u guys who asked to be in the taglist changed your usernames so unfortunately i couldn't tag u☹️hopefully this found u!🫶🏻

(for anyone else who'd like to be in the taglist pls reply to this post <3)

[doudouneverte]

Back to Home | Chapter five : Discovery

Pairing this chap: Wanda Maximoff x teen!reader; Avenger(variants)

Summary: Dr.Strange has a plan and Dr.Cho make big discoveries

Tag list: @darkstar225 @g-athenaathens @filmedbyharkness @nylevea @eletricheart @reginassweetheart @jono723 @lizlil

Chapter Four | Serie Masterlist | Chapter Six

------------

[Earth 717]

Silence was drowning out the entire complex. Wanda and Natasha didn't leave your bedroom; they spent almost all their time crying. Your aunts were not better. Kate tried to keep the team together while Yelena was pacing on the rooftop.

All the avengers were deadly silent. The only noises that could be heard came from Morgan's lab, where she was trying everything and checking the same data for god knows how long. After your moms and America came back, it was like time had stopped.

Tony was about to see his daughter when a portal in a wall caught his attention. Doctor Strange was finally back, and with him a little hope. It didn't take more than five to gather everyone in the meeting room, where Peter and America explained everything to the sorcerer.

Strange always told you to be careful around people who manipulate the time, and of course, usually, he would be a little angry that you took a big risk like that, but not today.

"How can I help you?" He asked.

"Actually, we don't know. We tried everything, but nothing seemed to work." America said.

The magician was intensely thinking before something came to his mind. "I think I have an idea. I can't promise that it will work, and if so, I don't know if it will help, but at least we will know if something bad happens to little Maximoff." Now every gaze was on him, wating for his idea. "But first we need to go somewhere else." He finished his sentence before opening a portal to Kamar-Taj.

The heroes were following him, a little unsure of what was on his mind. Once they reached a spacious place, he sat down.

"I'll need America, Wanda, and maybe Peter and little Stark." He said while he crossed his legs and waited for them to sit with him. Once everyone was ready, he started to explain his plan. "So, we know how much Y/n is usually connected with Wanda, and we also know that she's not in this universe anymore, which is why I need you," he said, referring to America.

"And why us?" Peter asked.

"You were among the last ones who were the Y/n when she disappeared, so you still have a fresh memory of her. I'll use my power to mentally teleport us back to the accident, and then with Wanda and Y/n's connection and America, we should be able to track her more efficaciously in the multiverse."

Everyone held their breath while a mix of orange and green auras started to cover the group. The memory of the incident started to play in front of everyone. They all looked at that until the moment. You were approaching Khrono after he pinned America against a wall. You lifted your knife, and when you were about to throw it, everything froze.

"Strange, something is wrong with America." Natasha said.

The brunette had her eyes totally shining, but not like when she used her power; it was different. It felt like she didn't control what she was doing. Wanda tried to reach her, but she could not do anything. The younger woman collapsed on the ground.

-------

[Earth 616]

Fury was leaving your room before seeing Maria Hill and Dr. Cho.

"Sir, you made two big discoveries; you need to see that." The doctor said and gave him an iPad while they made their way to his office.

"What is this?" The man asked.

"Scarlet's genetic code." Maria said while they entered the room. "Don't you see something strange?" she asked before showing the same thing on a big screen.

In front of the man's blank face, Cho started to talk. "I analyzed her DNA like you asked. I found two interesting things in her DNA. First the most obvious one," she typed on some bouton on the tablet, and two other genetics were now surrounding yours, "her DNA is the exact same as Wanda Maximoff and Natasha Romanoff. It's like…"

"It's like she's their biological mother." Fury said, and Maria nodded.

"But's that not the only weird thing; look at this," the doctor said before showing the genetic code of every Avenger. "Don't you see something different?" she asked him, and when he shook his head, she started again. "I don't know how to say that, it should be impossible, but there is no trace of any male DNA in hers."

"What do you mean?" the man asked, visibly curious and surprised.

"Usally, when two people decide to have a kid, there should be some trace of both genders DNA in their kid's DNA, whatever the gender." Maria said this time. "Even when a couple decides to go through IVF. But she doesn't. At first, we thought that her dad was someone who wasn't registered in the SHIELD or SWORD data base, but even if we compare with the international data bank, we have no match."

"It doesn't look special like that, but it's impossible even for us or any organization to do something like that. So we exclude Hydra and the Red Room from the list of potential places that she's from." Cho said.

"For a moment, we thought that she might be from another planet, but according to the data that Carol Danvers sent us, there is only one type of alien who can reproduce like that, but their DNA is closer to snail than human." Maria explained.

Fury was staring at the screen, totally unsure of what to say.

"Oh, and before we leave, I need to show you that." The doctor changed the screen. "This is a scan of Scarlet's power; at first, it's okay, but if we look closely, we can see some inconsistent gaps in her energy."

"Which means?" Maria asked this time.

"Two option. Option one, and maybe the most accurate, is that she's losing control over her power, which can explain why she almost kills Sam and the others while she seems totally non-aggressive toward them. And two, even if it's maybe the most crazy one, is that she may be slowly losing her power. The spider boy told me that he saw her falling from the sky just after a red aura around her disappeared." The doctor explained.

"Well, that's more than I imagined. Don't let anyone know about that. Not yet." Fury said, and the two women nodded before leaving the room.

~~~~

Peter was on his phone while a portal opened in his apartment. "Hey, America. What are you doing here?" He asked the young brunette.

"Peter, I think I just found something weird." She replied. "I was curious, so I traveled through the multiverse to find this girl; you know, to try to learn more about her. But there is my probleme I--" She couldn't finish before feeling a big headache.

"America!" Peter caught her before her body hit the floor. "Hey, America, wake up! What should I do? I can't go to see the avenger; I can't—Strange, I need to call Doctor Strange." He picked up America's body and gently laid her on his couch before grabbing his phone.

~~~~

You were staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out what happened, before you heard the door open again. This time, you sat up immediately and stared at the woman in front of you.

"I bet you didn't see that coming, right?" Wanda said before taking a chair and sitting in front of your bed. She stayed like that, saying nothing, just analizing you. "They didn't lie when they said you looked like me and Natasha."

"What are you doing here?" You asked.

"I can ask you the same question." She shrugged. When you didn't talk, she said. "Actually, I saw your fight; you're pretty good, even if you still have some things to learn."

"What do you want?"

"Me, nothing. But you, what do you want, Scarlet?" She smirked. "That's a pretty good name, no? I love scarlet; it's the same color as our power. And even more crazy, it's sound like Scarlet Witch." Her expression suddenly became more dark, and she stared at you. "Now come on, tell me, who are you, Scarlet?"

[eekitseve]

Chapter one of my charpim fanfic below the cut :) just in time for Christmas in July! will upload to ao3 in a few days once I get my account

Charlie was definitely more of a New Year’s guy.

The “new year, new me” leaves a length of time between Christmas and the beginning of the following year to act out, to be someone else, and to do stupid shit. It’s right between needing to be good for Santa and having the slate cleaned for the new year.

New Year’s Eve was a blast for Charlie (almost) every time. Charlie, for one thing, knew how to have a good time. He knew enough people who hosted annual parties. He knew enough people who knew how to get into the big ones, the exclusive ones, the absolutely nuts ones. He never had to worry about New Year’s Eve plans— it was a reliable holiday where he could lose his shit and be forgiven the next morning by the world. Alongside Saint Patty’s day, he could get black out drunk and not be seen as a loser for a day. He could be a blunt, wreckless version of himself that night and have no repercussions from it save for a monumental hangover the following day.

Of course, none of this logic was true. You get false confidence to send a few stupid texts, fight a few people, maybe kiss a stranger or two-- but once the night’s over, you’re the same person who did all those things. It was you the whole time, and it never changed. You might say you’ll be better the next day (or next year), but it being a new year doesn’t change you. Once that year long timer comes back to the last few hours, you do it all again.

Pim was more favorable of Christmas.

Instead of living in the moment, he thought of his future. He reminisced on his past to what might be an unhealthy amount. He was a Romantic; he felt nostalgic for a time he remembers differently than how it happened, and he daydreams for a life he will likely only partially succeed in achieving. His goals are always slightly askew; trying to relive a past that didn’t actually happen a certain way, or trying to work towards something that he’s only seen in several tacky romance movies.

That might be why he likes Christmas so much; every Christmas was recorded on awful home video VHS’s, and sure, there would be arguing, but he’d be right there on camera, smiling and enjoying Christmas like he should. He would watch them sometimes when he came home. Who cared if his dad was cursing out his mom in the back of the video? He’d just skip those parts and reminisce on how cool he thought the nerf gun set he got that year was. He’d skip past the part where he shot his older brother in the eye and they started brawling on the floor. He’d skip past the parts on the tape where it was him in highschool, despondent, confused, and scared with the added touch of his new baby sister screaming the whole tape. He would usually go until he hit the Christmas before he moved out. He always stopped the fast forward when he recognized the scene-- blue tinsel on the tree, their old house in Adelaide, Australia, and probably the last time he was as close with his family as he was. For a while after that, the tapes weren’t as charming. First off, he wouldn’t be there until a few years later when his family moved to the US. Not to mention, he could remember the rest of them vaguely.

Maybe Pim and Charlie’s preferred holidays showed some deep facet of their personalities, maybe not.

Regardless of what holiday they liked better for whatever unspoken reason, both critters were excited to leave the office once their clocks struck 5. They didn’t have a timeclock, no, but Mr. Boss remained on company grounds until the shift officially ended; he was dedicated, and he ensured his workers were, too. This meant skipping out early was unlikely. Very unlikely.

Especially on the last shift right before their holiday vacation started.

Of course, the concept of holiday vacation was something new. Since a certain OSHA non-compliant fatal workplace incident two years ago, Mister Boss began rolling the ball on mandatory holiday PTO. He made an effort to prioritize the health of his workers over a few smiles made during the holidays. Charlie wasn’t gonna deny free PTO, but he did question the logistics of having no one working during the roughest time of the year. He was reassured that they as workers were to be prioritized; if the people making others smile are dead, then how can people smile? It seemed like kind of a half-baked response for the trouble he’d have had to go through to support such a decision, but again, Charlie didn’t want to argue against free PTO.

Allan, Glep, Pim and Charlie all are relaxing in the breakroom now. The hum of the lights are louder and it seems like even the heater is ready for a vacation as it runs colder than it has the past month. Charlie and Pim only had two clients today; one old man who wanted to visit the moon before he died (he was on his deathbed and they staged a quirky performance dressed as aliens to convince him he was there, which only worked because he was high out of his mind on various medications-- he died immediately afterwards), and a super rich guy that needed help picking out a gift for his family that would make them smile and, by association, him too. They went through a classic montage styled time of trying out different gifts, but ultimately giving them each 3.8 million dollars in cheque worked. He gave Charlie and Pim each a lonesome penny to fund their Christmas’s. Pim was endeared. Charlie was not.

They got back with an hour to spare and have hung out since.

Allan squeaks the break room sink faucet on and off a few times. He grumbles.

“The hot wat-err is off againn.” He begins futilely washing his used coffee mug with cold water and a firm sponge.

“Awww, what?! I thought we just got that fixed!” Pim whines.

Glep tunes in and adds context— “aekajjsxhcah ptotuckcakc jvvjwalc cakscjs wjejrw cjcjde totij fusj xockd fjfjs.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” Pim responds, surrendering his frustration.

“Yea-hh. I guess Mister Boss is already on it.” Allan replies and continues washing the dish; Pim watches inattentively.

Glep is on his iPad doing important work. “Scouting for frowning faces online” was his excuse on his last self evaluation once it was brought up a third time by Allan.

Charlie was on his computer playing Rust.

Pim sat there, waiting.

Pim was extra excited for the holidays this year. He rarely got to spend time with his family. He felt very lucky that he could spend upwards of a week with them now, even if it was at the expense of Charlie’s life (sort of).

Pim looks over at Charlie. He seems very in his element; he’s a self proclaimed pro-gamer, why wouldn’t he be? Pim wonders if he’s gonna play Rust for the entirety of their break. Charlie mutters a quiet “shit,” and spams his mouse. It’s not enough, apparently, and he groans, releasing himself from the clutches of the computer and leaning back in the chair. Pim looks away.

It’s about seven minutes now until they’re free.

The door opens and Mr. Boss walks in. He sees Charlie gaming and watches for a second silently, only saying “oh, nice” when he gets a good item. Mr. Boss looks up at everyone. “Before you guys go, I’ve got a little somethin’ for ya.”

Mr. Boss pulls out a manilla folder and slaps it down on the breakroom table.

“What is that?” Charlie asks cautiously.

“Oh, just some homework for your vacation!”

They collectively groan.

“Don’t worry, guys!” Mr. Boss pulls thin packets out of the folder and passes them out. “I just want to make sure we get in the holiday spirit! I want everyone to make one person smile before the year ends, heehee!”

Charlie looks at the packet and thumbs through the pages.

“This is like, 7 pages dude. Double sided. This is more than we do for regular clients.”

“Yeeerrrp. It’s actually a paper version of our remote position client completion form.”

“There’s a remote position?” Allan asks— the dish is no longer important.

“Oh, yeah, sillies! We have 372 smiling friends workers working remote around the clock to make people smile! They get to work from wherever they want, choose their own hours, and they even make more than you guys do!”

There’s a moment of silence before everyone seemingly opens their mouth to speak. Mr. Boss is quicker, though.

“Aaaaanyway, I hope you guys have a good vacation! And make sure to fill out the entire packet! Remember, you only have to make one person smile, but you do have to fill out the registration form on the back of page 4 and the release form on page 3 and also the customer satisfaction form on the back for them confirming that they smiled. It’s really not that much!”

Mr. Boss was in the doorway about to leave.

“Wait wait wait wait, Mr. Boss,” Charlie is desperate, “about the remote position--”

“Byeeee guys! Merry Christmas!”

He closes the door.

“And happy new year!” He yells to them, muffled through the door.

Charlie groans and melts into his chair a little.

“I never knew there was a remote position,” Allan confesses.

“Me neither,” Pim mutters a little despondent.

“I… how much more do you think they make?” Allan asks, setting his dish down to dry.

“I dunno. I mean… probably… a good bit more.” Pim answers.

“Well,” Charlie closes his laptop and stands up, “I’m heading out. We have nothing else going on and I haven’t eaten anything all day. Anyone want to go to Spaghetti Disco?”

“That’s fancy,” Pim comments as he scratches at some crud on the table with his finger.

Charlie starts packing his laptop away in its case. “I’m just craving spaghetti, man. Are you in?”

“Yeah, I guess. What about you, Allan and Glep?”

“I guess, sure-uh.”

“jwkewjekjwefsdjkfskdhe.”

“Oh, that’s right, Glep, we were going to go on that movie double date. How could I forget-uh?”

“Oh! What movie?”

“Bimblar Seven. Kickolas Nagé is in it.” Allan rubs at a water droplet mark on his tie.

“Oh, wow! The pro footy player slash pro swimmer slash pro actor?”

“Yeah. I would invite you but I think the tickets are sold out-uh. And it’s a double date.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” Pim’s definitely a little bummed out-- “I’ll be getting spaghetti with Charlie, anyway.”

“Okay, well,” Charlie claps, “you ready to go, Pim?”

“Yep!”

“Cool. Uhhhh, see you guys next year then?”

“See ya.”

“Jwejwejkwesdfj.”

“Aight. C’mon, Pim.”

///

Of course spaghetti disco had a bar— and of course the main course Charlie aimed for was some special holiday drink he saw them posting about on social media. He took a seat at the bar before Pim could suggest a booth or maybe a table somewhere.

It’s fine, Pim thinks. Really not the end of the world.

Pim struggles to work his way up on top of the bar stool. When he finally makes it, he’s just a little bit out of breath. Charlie looks over just in time to say, “oh, dude, I could have helped you.”

Pim waves it off with a smile. His shirt is wrestled out from so tightly tucked in his pants. It’s fine, he’s gonna be eating (and presumably drinking the way Charlie wants to take this night) so he may as well leave himself a smidge disheveled.

“You know, Charlie,” Pim tries three or four times to perch his chin on his balled fist comfortably, “I didn’t ask what you’re doing for Christmas. You celebrate, right?”

Their spaghetti arrives and they thank the waitress. It’s in the same cup they use for their drinks; a trademark of Spaghetti Disco. It almost looks like worms, and Pim scrunches his face at it a little.

“Well yeah, I’m Catholic,” Charlie adds pointedly. The bartender slides an Iron City to each of their spots in addtion to Charlie’s Christmas themed drink. They both thank him subtly.

“Well— I wasn’t sure, I mean.. I know a lot of people that are Catholic that don’t practice.”

Charlie throws back a hefty swig of the beer. He grimaces and sets it down. Some of it dribbles down his lip. He steals a sip of the Christmas drink and cringes worse.

“Yeah, but like— here’s the thing, Pim. Christmas is like, not even a holiday anymore dude. It’s like…” Charlie takes off his hat, runs his hand through his hair, and replaces the hat, “it’s just a thing to get people to buy shit now. You know? Like-like I haven’t had, like, a magical—or whatever— Christmas since I was a kid.”

“Oh, Charlie! That’s not fair,” Pim frowns. “You deserve to have a good Christmas again. That’s so sad!”

“No no, Pim, you’re missing the point. I’m saying no one has them anymore once you’re older. Like it’s all just fuckin… matching Christmas pjs at Walmart that you wear like, once… and stuff that kinda just goes on sale and-and they throw away after Christmas because no one fuckin-“ he burps— “Excuse me. No one fuckin wants, like… a fuckin “Ho Ho Ho I’m- there’s a baby on the way!” shirt after, like, Christmas morning. Like it all just gets thrown away.”

He takes a big sip of his drink and a heaping bite of spaghetti, commenting under his breath that it’s hitting the spot. Pim takes the minute to really hear what he has to say.

“Hmm.” Is all he has to reply with at first. Charlie is still chewing, so Pim articulates a better response as he winds up a fork of spaghetti. “You know, I think-I think it’s situational. I think it’s really wonderful in the right situation. Like, the-“

“Like the… Pj’s? And shit?”

“The- yeah. Like, if it’s with the right people.”

Charlie shoots him a suspicious look as he says this.

“What, are you talking about your family? Because-“

And they both talk at once,

“Yeah! I mean, they’re not perfect, but— oh.“

“Because they seemed horrible last time— oh.”

A quiet moment passes. Charlie looks away awkwardly.

“Sorry, Pim.”

“You thought they were horrible?”

“I mean, yeah, man. They were like… fully fucking shooting at each other. With guns. Like that’s…. That’s abnormal. I’d honestly avoid people like that. And try to get the, um, kids out of that situation.”

“Well, yeah, they shouldn’t— I mean I’m not disagreeing with you, but they’re still my family, and it’s not that bad if you just go away when they do it.”

“Pim. That’s not normal. Like- like genuinely, I’d avoid them. That sounds awful. You get to go away, they don’t.”

“But, I still love them, you know? Like, I can’t just… and you know, the kids, too. Like they need to talk to someone, um, normal. Like I think coming by is good for them.”

“Just call, like, CPS.”

“Oh, um- Mister Frog actually got rid of CPS a few months ago.”

“What?” Charlie stops mid bite. “Like- like really?”

“Yeah, he- it was kind of sudden. Um. I think I told you when it happened, like at the office, I guess you didn’t hear me…”

“Yeah, no, I definitely didn’t. That’s awful. I hope those kids’ll be alright.”

With the conversation becoming a bit heavier, they both take a minute to eat. Pim looks at Charlie a lot. At some point, Pim opens his mouth to talk, then closes it. Then,

“So, you’ve got no plans then?” Pim asks.

“I’m gonna get wasted and I’m gonna play some Rust. The patch they just put out should make these idiots running the server I’m on lose everything. It’s gonna be great.”

“Oh. Well, anything else?”

Charlie finishes his beer and it’s replaced with a new one when the bartender passes by. The Christmas drink is being ignored.

“That’s pretty much it.”

“No holiday stuff? At all?”

“Probably gonna find a new years party.”

“Nothing for Christmas. then?”

“Nah, I guess not.”

They both take long gulps of their drink.

“So.” Pim says. He doesn’t make eye contact. “Charlie…”

“Yeah?” Charlie has spaghetti taking up his entire mouth and face. He suffers from late stage spaghetti kid syndrome, evidently.

“Would… so, you don’t have to, and I know you just kind of made your stance clear, but I thought I’d ask…” Pim takes a big breath. “I’m supposed to stay a little over a week at my family’s house for Christmas and I can do it alone, I do every year, but I thought I’d ask because-”

“Pim. No.”

“Oh please, Charlie! Come with me! I promise we can make it fun, it will be a grand adventureee!” He throws his arms up for emphasis.

Charlie crosses his arms.

“No, dude. I’m firm about this. There are a million other things I’d rather do. I’d have to, like, lose my apartment or something.”

Pim frowns and leaves it.

If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be, Pim thinks. No use forcing it.

“Alright. But if you feel super sad and lonely and in need of Christmas cheer text me-“ “I won’t.“ “-because I’m leaving around lunchtime.” “Okay, man.”

They eat the rest of their spaghetti, have a few more drinks, and talk about remote work. They talk a lot about remote work. They both leave for their separate apartments by the end of the night.

//

Charlie, cranky,sits in Pim’s car the next morning, his overnight bag in the back and his snarkiness in full swing. Pim is practically bubbling over in excitement at the wheel.

“I just can’t believe both your power and electricity went out as soon as you got home,” Pim can’t hold back his excitement in his voice. “What are the odds?!”

It was true-- Charlie was only home for a few minutes before everything fizzled out. He’d got a call a few minutes later that the power to his apartment building went out (duh) due to the generator being crushed by a wrecking ball used in nearby construction, so there would be no heating or electricity at his place for at least a week. They didn’t even say sorry-- it was an automated call.

His first move would be to couch surf until then, but his options seemed exhausted before he even began looking. Zoey was in California for a highschool friend’s wedding and Christmas with her family, and her roommates definitely wouldn’t want him staying there alone. His uncle lived all the way over past Pittsburgh, so that was a no. Tyler moved to Pittsburgh too a few months ago after getting let off. He claimed the music scene there was “just better”. Fuck Pittsburgh, Charlie thought more than a few times after getting the news. Everyone’s moving to fuckin’ Pittsburgh.

He could get a motel or hotel or Airbnb or Vrbo or whatever, but with the cost of that he might as well go to Brazil and back all over again. He called Pim and he came to pick him up. He crashed at his place and got hardly any sleep.

Pim’s excitement alongside all of this rubbed him the wrong way.

“Pim, can you not treat this as some awesome thing? For one thing, I had to throw out my groceries this week ‘cause of all this. I had, like, really good leftovers I was looking forward to eating.”

“Oh, Charlie, don’t be like that… we can go to the place it’s from when we get back if that’ll make you feel better. My family’s probably gonna cook food all week for us, too, and maybe you can take home some leftovers if you’d like!”

Charlie groans.

“That’s not the point though, man. I just wanted to go home and relax. This year has been nothing but chaos and I think I deserve to just do what I want for a little.”

Especially when the only reason we have this break is because I literally died, he nearly adds, but he bites his tongue.

Pim is quiet. He would hardly call playing Rust relaxing the way he’s seen Charlie react to it, but to each their own he supposes. He tries to think of solutions.

“Well, I mean, you could just take whatever time we have left outside of activities to play video games, or watch your shows or whatever it is you do to relax.”

“Yeah but Pim, that’s the thing, I want to do that and only that. Not that and- and activities, I just wanna relax man.”

“Oh, it will be fun, Charlie!” Pim nudges Charlie with his elbow. “I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“I would and I am.”

//

They drive for about an hour, stopping for coffee at Wawa on the way. It helps, but the annoyance of the whole situation still grates on Charlie, and the looping track of “Dooty Da” on the radio doesn’t help. Charlie decides that it has lost its charm and he turns down the dial.

“If I’m forced to go along with all this, then I’m choosing the music. ‘Kay?”

“Yeah, sure, I can listen to whatever.”

Charlie pulls out the filthy old phone adapter cord for the company car (the end where it plugs into the phone is bent and worn so bad the wire is exposed) and he sloppily plugs his phone into the AUX.

“Alright, uhhhhhh… how much longer do we have on the drive?”

“Hmm? Oh, um… another half hour, I’d say.”

“Okay, Pim, you gotta listen to this. Like really listen. It’s like a yearly tradition for me to listen to this album.”

Pim’s interested now.

“And you haven’t shown me this before?” He fiddles with the seam of the leather steering wheel.

“Nah, it’s like- you gotta listen to the whole thing if you’re gonna listen...”

“Yeah, alright! Put it on, yeah.”

Charlie sits through around 12 seconds of two different Youtube ads, skipping as soon as he could.

“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…”

“Oh, it’s Christmas music! This sounds pleasant!”

“This is the most recent one that came out last year. Every year he writes a new one and adds it to the album. I’m waiting on this year’s.”

“Who is this?”

“Uhh, Mac Demarco. His stuff is amazing, man. Seriously, he’s like, an idol of mine.”

Pim’s happy to see Charlie a little happier. The next song comes on and Pim subtly bops his head to it.

“This one’s a little creepy, haha.”

Charlie takes a big sip of his coffee. “Yea, he’s got range.”

They listen to the music some more and comment on a dog they see in a passing car. Some flurries start up as they take the exit off the highway and ease into the suburbs. House after house is decorated in elaborate Christmas decorations that Pim excitedly gawks at and points to, to which Charlie feels his blood pressure heighten. The further they go outbound, the less fancy the light displays are. There are more of those silly inflatable yard decorations, now. Then, it eases into maybe a few strings on a hedge, or maybe a partially driven over blow mold decoration arrangement, glowing Santas beaming at Charlie and Pim as they drive by.

The album lasts them the rest of the car ride. They talk over some songs and Charlie shushes him for others. When they reach the familiar apartment complex, Charlie seems to be in a better mood overall. Pim makes a mental note to let Charlie DJ in the future.

They pull into the back and see Pim’s mother smoking on the back porch. The flurries have calmed entirely to a flake here and there and there’s a thin layer of snow over everything, replenishing what melted the previous day.

The two get out of the car and she sees them.

“PIMOTHY!”

Pim’s mother snubs her cigarette quickly and rushes over in her pink slippers. She wraps Pim in a big hug, swaying him a little. Charlie goes to grab their bags, and when he comes back, they’re talking about so many different things so quickly Charlie has trouble keeping up. He accidentally makes eye contact with Pim’s mom, who, almost as if she were waiting for a cue, swoops Charlie into a hug.

“Oh, uh,” Charlie doesn’t hug back. He’s visibly uncomfortable.

“How are you, sweetheart? Are you keeping Pim under control?”

Charlie pauses. He realizes he has an opportunity to be very funny and also get revenge on Pim.

“Oh, you know. He’s all mixed up in trouble at the office,” he deadpans.

“What?!”

“Oh he didn’t tell you? Yeah, Pim’s been really into getting up to unprofessional scandalous stuff at work. He brings women in all the time--”

Pim’s contented expression watching the family bonding unfold quickly morphs into one of confusion, then horror.

“HAH! Charlie’s joking,” and he pushes at Charlie’s belly to separate the two. He looks at Charlie desperately. “Right, Charlie?”

“Yeah, I’m joking,” he cheeses and looks back at Pim. Mischief lingers in his voice. “Except the last part. He’s one hundred percent a total ladies man. He picks up chicks on the job all the time, honest.”

“PIM! Is this true?! I thought this job was going to keep you honest!” When the pressure was on Pim, Charlie didn’t mind it at all.

“Agh- Charlie! No, it’s not true, mum…” He facepalms.

“What about Jennifer, man?”

“Who?”

“Jennifer, with all the- from the Shrimp adventure.”

Pim looks away quickly, his face heating up. His hands fidget with each other.

“Well…that was different.”

“I thought you would have grown out of that, Pim.” She sighs, and starts walking back to the duplex. “Come inside, get out of this cold. Your siblings have been talking about you all day.”

Pim turns to the car to start carrying bags, and Charlie already has them all in his hands as he shuts the door.

“Oh-- do you want help? That looks heavy…”

“I’m good, man. Just get the door. And do the talking.”

“Okay, sure.”

They follow a little distance behind his mom. Charlie leans a little towards Pim and asks, “so, what’d you grow out of?”

Pim can hear the smile in his voice and he hides his face in his hands. He blushes in embarrassment.

“Argh. I didn’t think she would bring that up…” Pim sighs, “Alright. I dated a ton of girls in highschool-- that’s it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, she kind of focuses on it a lot, I don’t know why, maybe its a mum thing--”

“Nah, not that. I’m shocked that you- that you had game in highschool.”

“What? Oh, well. I didn’t really know what I was doing,” he confesses. “I was definitely… doing it wrong, looking back.”

“Clearly not, man. You said it, I mean, you dated a ton of girls. And your parents are still mad about it, that’s gotta count for something.”

Pim laughs a little as they get to the patio door.

“You’re funny, Charlie.”

They go inside, wipe their shoes, and are greeted with chaos. If the kids had the capabilities to bounce off the walls, they would be. When Pim walks in, they swarm him. They dogpile him with a hug and before Charlie can get a firm count of how many there are, they’re off again, crawling through the walls and running up the stairs and chasing each other from room to room to room. Pim looks overjoyed and very frazzled down on the floor. Charlie wordlessly helps him up.

“Let’s go set our stuff down upstairs, Charlie.”

They pass through the front room (the holiday tinsel is up and Pim cups his hands to his cheek in adoration) and Charlie hears the TV on in the living room as he follows Pim up the stairs. His dad must be watching something. The occasional shout or laugh from the kids running around keeps Charlie a little on edge.

As they ascend the dark, carpeted staircase, Charlie squints at all the photos, trying to scrape up any blackmail against Pim. At some point, he sets down a bag on the stairs awkwardly and he puts his hand on Pim’s shoulder to stop him.

“Hm? Yes Charlie?”

“Looking pretty dapper here, buddy.”

He points to a photo of Pim wearing a tux, bow tie, and corsage— not to mention the girl on his arm. His smile is massive and his glasses are apparent. The girl looks a little uncomfortable.

Pim laughs-- “Oh no, I thought mum took this down a while ago,” and he reaches for it, only for Charlie to grab it off the wall first.

“Charlie! What are you doing?”

“I need a picture of this, man.”

“NO! What do you need that for? That’s horrible!” He tries unsuccessfully to grab it from Charlie’s hand. Charlie just holds it higher.

“You owe me for dragging me along. This totally counts as part of it.”

“No way. Charlie!” He tries to reach it again, and he accidentally encroaches on Charlie’s personal space. He bumps into Charlie’s stomach and puts a hand on his belly to brace himself. He looks up at him.

“It’s this or something worse.” Charlie threatens casually.

Pim goes quiet.

“Like what?”

“I ‘unno, I’ll think of something.”

They look at each other.

Charlie knows Pim will accept the conditions just looking at his expression, so he sets the other bags down precariously and grabs his phone from his pocket.

“Ugh, fine.” Pim resigns as Charlie takes the photo. He then takes a selfie with it with a fake horrified expression in reaction to it. “Why that one?!”

“I dunno,” he laughs, “thought it might be funny.”

Charlie grabs the stuff again and they continue upstairs.

“Alright. I better not see these in the work Slack, though.”

“No, no, of course not,” Charlie replies, having already sent it to the work Slack.

The rest of the photos on the walls are all pretty innocuous; it all is very domestic. Charlie feels like he shouldn’t be allowed here in this bubble of domesticity before the storm of reality that is Pim’s family hits. He kind of wishes that something will just ruin the moment already so he doesn’t have to look around the corner for something horrible, metaphorically.

Non-metaphorically, Amy pokes her head out from around the corner at the top of the stairs.

“Ew— Pim? I thought you weren’t coming to Christmas this year.”

“What? Who said that?”

“Oh. No one, I made it up. But I was still excited for you to not show up.”

Pim laughs nervously.

“Well, here we are! I brought my coworker Charlie to stay with us. You remember Charlie, right?”

Charlie does a peace sign. “Yo.”

Amy stares blankly at them.

“Anyway, Brad’s over, soooo… don’t bother us.”

She goes back to her room and slams the door.

“She was nicer to me that time, I think.”

They make it to the once-Pim’s-room-now-game-room-slash-guest-room and drop their stuff inside. There’s one kid idling in there and playing Roblox on his Kindle. Pim shoos him out of the room and closes the door behind Charlie and himself.

“Here we are!” Pim says whimsically. “Oh, so many wonderful memories in here…”

Charlie looks around— it’s a mess of toys, AC units, and other child memorabilia that wasn’t deemed important enough to have out. Crazy messy.

“So we’re staying in your family’s storage room? Why don’t they just get like, a storage unit somewhere?”

“I don’t think it’s enough to warrant a storage unit, do you?”

“Maybe, man. You might get cockroaches or something if you leave it all on the floor like this.”

“Hmm. Maybe you’re right.” Pim thinks to every other issue in this house that he’d like to resolve first and shakes away the tidiness mission for later. “Anyway, there’s an air mattress around here, I just have to find it,” Pim starts looking under stacks of various clutter.

“Yeah. I was gonna say...”

They both eye the single twin bed.

“I’ll find that as soon as possible if you want to start unpacking…” Pim starts checking the closet. “Agh. It’s just board games in here, and… oh wait! Yes! Epic!” He pulls out a crumpled air mattress with an air pump still plugged into it. He starts clearing out an area for it on the floor. “I’ll take the air mattress since I’m not sure how reliable it is. Would you mind taking my old bed? It’ll be much comfier than this.”

“Yeah man, I don’t care.” Charlie starts grabbing handfuls of toys and cramming them into the already crammed space under the bed. There’s some semblance of bedding, but years of crumbs, dust and dead bugs have accumulated. “Uhhh… got any different bedding?”

“Oh, sorry, yeah. I’ll get that for you now.”

While Pim’s gone, Charlie goes on his phone. He has a few missed snaps— two from Zoey, one from Tyler. Zoey’s is at the beach. She’s smiling and having fun with her friends— they’re all drinking zany colored drinks. Charlie wishes he was too. Tyler’s snap is of a house party where he’s made it behind the DJ’s stand, absolutely destroying the crowd with his stuff. It’s short, but Charlie can tell he’s having a blast. He replies to each of them with a photo of a dead spider on the bed. He captions it, “me rn”. Pim gets back and he puts his phone away.

“Oh, geez man, you got all that?”

Pim holds a tower of bedding— two sets of comforters, pillowcases, blankets, and sheets. “Can you take the bedding off your bed really quickly?” There’s a frantic element to his request and Charlie does as told. He tosses it by the door and Pim drops the bedding on the bed with an exaggerated exhale. He starts on making the mattress.

They spend maybe twenty minutes setting everything up. Charlie settles for a sheet and a blanket, but Pim insists on making it for him if he wouldn’t. The air mattress is only a foot away parallel to Charlie’s bed.

“Alright, it’s 6:30. What do you want to do next, Charlie? I think my family wanted to go out for dinner.”

“You know, I’d really like to but I’m feeling pretty tired, man. I might sit that one out and catch up on some sleep here.”

“Aww, alright. Did you want me to get you anything?”

“Uhhhh, yeah. You know what I like,” and Charlie kicks his shoes off as he sits on the side of his bed. Pim heads over to the doorway. “Lights off?” He asks, to which Charlie politely says, “yes please.”

“Okay, well… sleep well.” Pim smiles sweetly at Charlie and closes the door behind him.

Now it’s time for Charlie to do what he wanted to do from the start.

Rust time.

The second Pim’s footsteps hit the stairs, Charlie speeds over and locks the door. Going back to his bed, he sits down and roots through his bag. He pulls out his laptop, mouse, charger, and headphones, and sets everything up. He’s all ready until he realizes he needs wifi.

He checks everywhere. It’s nowhere he’d expect it to be. He considers texting Pim for a minute, but his cover would be blown. Out of options, he returns to his bed and lies down. He groans and sets his stuff on the floor.

He’s pissed— the only thing he wanted to do was check this update. He’ll ask Pim as soon as he gets back. Maybe he can squeeze in an hour or two tonight when they get back. He hopes Pim won’t have an issue with him staying up late to play.

He drifts off, missing his apartment and what he could have had for the next week. He doesn’t expect himself to actually fall asleep.

//

Charlie wakes up to Pim opening the door. The excess light that comes through the door behind Pim’s silhouette is enough to make Charlie squint.

“Agh.”

“Oh! Charlie! Sorry— I didn’t know you were awake!”

Pim takes a step in. He isn’t wearing what he had on before— it’s some navy blue crew neck and sweats.

“How long was I out?” Charlie asks as he sniffles hard and rubs his eyes.

“Well, it’s 11 something…”

“What?” Charlie sits up incredulously. “Why didn’t you wake me up when you got back?!”

“You looked so cozy, I couldn’t! Plus, the dinner was, uh… weird. I assumed you’d want to sleep through the aftermath of that, so.”

Charlie checks his phone and doesn’t respond to Pim. He didn’t have any new texts. Maybe the notifications didn’t register— he opens Snapchat and checks it anyway.

“So…” Pim continues, “I mean, I just got ready for bed, I was gonna go to sleep now.” His sentence fizzles out. Then he throws on, “I don’t know if you want to go back to sleep, or…?”

He eases back down. “I guess,” he says with no confidence in his voice. Pim closes the door behind him and it goes dark. Charlie only now notices the glow in the dark stars that littered the ceiling over by the window. Pim climbs in bed.

“Your food’s in the fridge, by the way. It’s labeled.”

Charlie shoots back up.

“Oh- okay. No, I’m doing that definitely, yeah. I’ll be right back.”

Charlie doesn’t care to put his shoes on as he sneaks downstairs. The lights are all out, and the television is still on. Upon further inspection, Pim’s dad is asleep on the couch. He snores loudly.

Charlie finds the styrofoam box with “Charlie :-)” written on it. He spares no time in putting it in the microwave. He grabs a fork (he goes through all the drawers and of course it’s the last one) and a napkin. While it cooks, he roots around for something to drink. There’s some orange juice left in the bottom of a jug. He grabs the entire thing and, as his food finishes up, carries everything he foraged with him upstairs.

He sneaks into the room, closes the door quietly, tiptoes over to his bed, and sits down. It’s fries and what looks like a Buffalo chicken wrap. He takes a massive bite and it all feels worth it for a second.

“Charlie, are you eating in here?” Pim’s voice is meek.

“Oh shit. I thought you were asleep already.”

Pim laughs sleepily.

“Almost. That smells really good though.”

“You want a fry?”

“I already brushed my teeth,” Pim says dismally. Charlie shrugs and Pim can’t see.

“You can always rebrush ‘em.”

Pim stretches in his bed and makes a noise Charlie ignores. “Mmm. Maybe.” After a few seconds of thinking about it, he says “yeah, pass me one.”

“Alright!” He hands it to Pim and fist bumps him before he takes his hand away. Pim’s fist is limp and unexpecting. “You know, if it helps, Pim, I’m not brushing my teeth. I forgot my toothbrush at home.”

“Charlie! You could have told me, we could have stopped somewhere…” Pim sits up and scoots over to the edge of his mattress to grab more fries from the box in Charlie’s lap.

“We can get one tomorrow and I’ll brush twice as long or something tomorrow night to make up.”

“That’s not how that works,” and Charlie hears the smirk in Pim’s words.

“Yeah it is. I’ll just scrub off what I didn’t scrub off tonight, it’s not like it’s keeping count or whatever. And— besides, people from like, the 1700’s were making laws or whatever for our country and they didn’t even brush their teeth, they didn’t have this shit, so… yeah.”

“Is that true?”

“I dunno, probably. But it’s not gonna kill me if I skip one night.”

“I’m googling it.”

Their hands touch as they both reach for a fry. Nothing is said.

“It says-“

“What says? What’s your source?”

“Uhh, Reddit. They say-“

“Dude. Get a different source. Go to Wikipedia or something.”

“What? This is fine, they probably took their answer from Wikipedia anyway. They say that people have been brushing their teeth since ancient times with sticks and such, but the added sugars in our diet today make our teeth rot. And something about our teeth being closer together now too.” Pim looks up. “So you should definitely get a toothbrush tomorrow.”

“I wasn’t gonna argue with you, I’m just saying one night is fine.”

“Well, let me look that up-“

“It’s not gonna change what I do. I don’t have a toothbrush right now, I don’t really have any options, man.”

Pim clicks his tongue. “Right.”

“Yeah.”

Charlie finishes his wrap and pim finishes off the fries that Charlie couldn’t force down. Pim goes to brush his teeth again and Charlie lays back down. He’s not really tired, but that’s never stopped him from sleeping.

Charlie can’t help but to thank god for the short day. At least there was good food, good music, and good sleep.

Now they just had to do that for a week.

[arielstruggles]

Banished Angel

the dawn of regret chp.2

pairing: joel miller x fem reader

summary: you decide to do as he asks and act like nothing has happened. It only works till a certain point.

w.c: 4.2k

warnings: slight angst, mentions of death and sexual harassment, age gap, no smut, a little bit emotions and suff, some fluff, some cheesiness, idk i'll add if i can find

a/n: I could not proof read it since it's 5 in the morning when i finish this so sorry in advance. I do have two different ideas out how their relationship evolve but i can't decide honestly. Also didn't add any smut because i wanted to deepen their emotional connection anyway hope you enjoy! chapter one here chapter three

(p.s. Feedbacks are appreciated.)

"Just because we fucked does not mean you are something to me. You are clearly desperate for attention. You want someone to love you. But that ain’t me. You’re nobody." When you close the door behind you, his voice echoes inside of your head. For a split second, with the heat of the moment you were naïve enough to think that he also had feelings for you. Though you stopped yourself from crying in front of him you can’t stop this time, when you are all by yourself in your living room. Tears come one by one and you are unable to interrupt them. You pull your knees to yourself and wrap your arms around them and a loud sob leaves your lips. “you’re nobody” it hurts. The loneliness that mustered inside you for years surfaces. You have nobody to lean on since both of your parents got infected and left you in this messed up world all by yourself. His words hit somewhere so close to home that you desperately tried to hurt him back. You are all alone, you literally need someone to love you as he said. He saw right through you; you have never felt so exposed. That’s why now you feel like somebody is ripping your heart out. Maybe it was an hour of intimacy but it felt like more than that. It was the first time in years somebody hold you like he did. You were trying to survive when Maria and Tommy found you in a fucking cave all by yourself, you could have died and nobody would even know you existed. You were so close to starving; they take you with them. You can’t stop crying, your body shakes with each sob. Years of agony finally let’s itself loose with this morning’s disappointment. Your eyelids get heavier with each tear drop. When you wake up from your nap, your head hurts. The sharp, throbbing pain does not help your already fucked up emotional state. Your pocket watch shows that it’s 7pm which means it has been six long hours since that incident. Thoughts flood to your head once again. You start to question yourself. Why he snapped so suddenly? Did I so something wrong?  Maybe you did something to deserve all his words. When he was touching you, kissing you hungrily it felt like your souls are bonding, apparently this was not the case for him. Your touch starved body greeted him so eagerly when he kissed you or when you were laying on his chest. You have never been a realist person, even in the darkest times you found something bright or else you could not have survived all alone for years. So naturally, you expected same thing from Joel, you expected a couple of nice words from him. A cold chuckle leaves your lips and melts into air when you realize how you needed someone to take care of you. You wanted him to say I love you. But you don’t even know whether you are in love with him or not. Maybe expecting so much was your fault but being so mean was definitely his.

Different thoughts about Joel dwell on your mind while you prepare yourself something to eat. A part of you still waits for him to knock on your door and apologize. But he does not. You eat your food in silence and find different things to occupy your mind to not to think of where he touched you. You definitely do not think about how you melted in his arms. You could swear that his smell is still on you, you were that close. But now you are far from each other. Maybe I am looking at things from a very sentimental perspective, you mutter. Still desperate to find a tiniest bit of reason to forgive him. A little bit of affection is all you crave. But then you remember his poisonous words. It is obvious that he will not do anything so you decide to act like nothing has happened. Just like he has said. “You forget what happened, I’ll do the same.”  Unless he comes by an apologize properly you will act like nothing has happened. You will say hello and goodbye but that will be it. Just like before.

He is not as careless as you think though. Guilt accumulates in his chest with each passing second. He swallows a big sip from his whiskey watching the wall right across him. He remembers every little detail. How you get excited when he touched your thigh, how flushed your face when you watch yourself on the mirror. When he saw how excited you are, he could almost feel your racing heartbeats. A crooked smile creeps up on his lips for a second but he immediately remembers how things turned out because of him and his face get clouded with shame and guilt once again. But it was for the best, he thinks.  He was old enough to be your dad. He could never do such thing. He would feel like a predator. Even though you are a fully grown adult you were thirty years younger than him. In his eyes, this was unacceptable. No, he would rather you to hate him rather than feeling like he’s taking advantage of you. But this does not stop him from thinking the sweet moment you had earlier. “You deserve to die alone! If your daughter knew all this, she would’ve hated you.” he questions whether Sarah would have hated him or not. Would she hate him because he fucked a girl who is younger than her daughter, or would she hate her because of how he treated her. The questions stay unanswered. At the back of his mind, he knows he deserves to die alone. He killed so many people, he told so many lies. He was the far cry from a good man. As much as he tries to redeem himself, he still has nightmares of random strangers begging for his mercy. But he can’t change the past. And he most definitely can’t put his bloody hands on you, not again

Even though you decided to act like nothing has happened you are not sure if you can manage to do that so you try your hardest to avoid him. You don’t leave your house for three days. You will inevitably see him on your next patrol but until then you don’t want to see him however you crave his touch, you can’t stop yourself from wanting to hug him tightly, burrow your face in his neck. On the third day of your self-isolation you leave your house to get some alcohol in your system. The more you isolate yourself the more you think about him so you think it’d helpful to drink something, to numb your senses a little bit. When you stepped inside Tipsy Bison you are grateful that he is not there. You get yourself a drink and sit on a stool, sipping your drink when you see Tommy approaches you. You are not sure if Joel told him anything or not but you decide to shut your mouth anyway. “couldn’t see you since your patrol, you okay?” he asks “everything is fine, I was just needed some alone time.” you lie. He nods and leaves you alone. You’re not so sure if he believes you. After a couple of drinks you head to your empty home, cold atmosphere embraces you when you step inside. Your eyes catch a glimpse of a broad figure in front of your door while you sit on the chair by the window. You peer up at him behind curtains. You are not that drunk, you’re just tipsy so you can’t be imagining him, can you? Are you that desperate for him? You don’t even realize you’re holding your breath and wait for him to knock. Then he decides not to and leaves your door without even saying anything. Your blood boils in your veins. “Coward.” You scream but he can’t hear you. “Coward” but his action fuels you. He could have knocked on your door and apologize, for god’s skae he came to your door. But he didn’t even have the guts to knock. You know better than ever know. You are done with his stupidity.

When your patrol day comes you get ready and wait for Joel outside your door. You are nor nervous, not after he comes to your door then leaves without even facing with you. When he approaches you, Your calm state startles you. Heart break and disappointment buried deep inside your soul. You are certain, you will act like nothing has happened since you are a nobody. “hello.” You say, your voice is not as cold as you intended it to be. He nods in return. No talking, just a small gesture. “We will go this way.” He gestures with his hand. “okay.” The atmosphere is tense, you wait for Joel to say something mean to break your heart even more but he does not. It’s still dark outside. And quiet. You can hear your footsteps. There is a stupid part of you, still dying for his attention. But for the first time in your life your senses overpowers and you don’t say anything. You see freshly bloomed flowers and cheer up for a brief moment.  “Oh my god! Didn’t know there are still flowers blooming!” you chirp. Joel smiles at your reaction but you don’t see it. “It is rare, but there are indeed flowers blooming some places.” He comments with his usual distant tone. you don’t expect a comment from him at all and he does not know why he felt the urge to reply. You pick up a flower and put it inside your notebook. You walk and walk. Then you reach to the radio tower which is this week’s final destination for you. You climb the stairs and get inside. You listen carefully to hear if there are any clickers around, it is quiet then you rest your back to wall and sit on the floor. For now, at least. After a while Joel returns and joins you. Silence lingers on in the room. It is unnerving. You are dying to talk but unless he talks you won’t. You steal glances from him. His greying hair looks extra soft and curly today. He seems like he didn’t shave for a long time. After a while you close your eyes to rest them, you know you are not allowed to sleep during your patrols, so you are just resting. But then you fell asleep. This situation maddens Joel, he finds it irresponsible. He calls your name a couple of times but you are not a light sleeper. He lets you sleep. Your eyelashes trembling every once in a while, and you murmur nonsense in your sleep, but you seem so comfortable even if you sleep in a sitting position. As if he does not feel guilty, your sleeping figure makes it worse. He feels like a disgusting human being. He tries to find something to make a makeshift blanket but he can’t. And not to give you a further hope he does not cover you with his coat. After making sure you’re fast asleep he quietly approaches you, brushing your hair with his fingers softly. His touch is feather light so it does not even wake you. He tucks the hair that falls in front of your eyes, behind your ears. For a second he questions about doing or not doing it then he kisses your temple lightly and gets back to his place that he was sitting earlier. When you wake up Joel almost barks at you “You are supposed to stay awake!” you snap back “you could have woken me up!” “well, I tried.” He rolls his eyes. The rest of your patrol goes pretty much quiet. Then you go back to Jackson.

Even though he told you to act like nothing has happened your approach towards him bugs Joel. Deep down he expects you to hate him or like him. His self-hatred is too powerful that he can’t think nobody could care about him without wanting a favor back. But you care about him. A part of him is desperate for this. He is in a constant battle with himself. He is not a good man or a bad man. He does what he had to do. But it does not feel like it. So, neither being with you nor letting you to fall for him is not even an option in his eyes.  He does not know he already gave you enough reason to think about him constantly. Thank god your pride is stronger than your emotions or else you’d be begging for his love. Days pass rather dull since you can’t stop your thoughts about Joel so one night you do something extremely dangerous and stupid. It’s past midnight and mostly everywhere covered with snow. You wear your gloves and coat, take your backpack and gun then leave your house for a night walk. At first you are certain that you are still in Jackson and close to your home. With each step you take you get further away from Jackson. The last thing you know is you are fucking lost. In the dead of night on a freezing weather. At first you think you are getting closer because you think you see a light then you realize it is a mistake. After fifteen minutes of wandering around you have no reliable solution to return your warm bed. Your brain tries to keep you calm but your heart wants to scream. Screaming is the stupidest thing you can do so you are trying to keep your cool. In the middle of your loud thoughts, you hear footsteps. Your hand slides to the gun in its holster and you hold your breath. Your heartbeats get faster and faster. You can see the siluette of the figure approaches you. “Joel?” you call his name. Your hand is on your gun. But it is not Joel. It is another man. You don’t know who he is, but there is a chance that he might be a raider, the moment you turn the other side you see another man. One of them speaks “Would you like to come with us? we live down here with a group of people.” his voice is disturbing. You know you can’t trust them. Your grip tightens around your gun but your hands are shaking. With the adrenaline rush in your veins, you run and run till you run out of breath they run after you. At this point you have not a clue about where you are. Your gun fell on the ground and once you think it is safe enough you kneel to look for your gun. With the sharp pain at the nape of your neck you black out.

When your vision starts to come back the first thing you realize is you are not in the woods, hell you don’t even know where you are because it is so fucking dark. Your hands and legs are tied tightly and you sit on the floor. Your mouth is taped. You feel like you are about to die. All the memories rush through your head from your childhood to this day not all of them desirable. Even though a voice at the far back in your head desires death at the moment, you desperately want to live. You curse that you didn’t take your pocket knife with you, not that you could do anything but maybe it would have been helpful since you dropped your gun and don’t even know where it is. The man you first saw approaches you in the darkness. “so, what brings you here?” he asks you can’t answer because of the tape but even If you could you would not. He then, rips off the tape on your mouth. “answer me!” “fuck yourself.” You bark. You don’t know what is the reason behind this anger. Your own stupidity? This motherfucker? or Joel? Probably all of them. When he slaps across your face your face burn with pain. It fucking stings. He grips your hair tightly and makes you look at him “watch out your mouth cunt. You don’t want to die, are you?” “do it you coward. Kill me already.” You know this is not the best response you could give. He yanks your head to the wall behind you and you feel dizzy with the sensation, the following punch on your nose causes the warm blood leaking from your nose. “are you a raider?” you ask, it is a stupid question but apparently this man is more stupid than you. “congrats your guess is correct!” he answers with a condescending tone. “why did you kidnap me?” “because you seemed like a good use.” We can trade you with food, we can fuck you, you know a whore is needed in an all-men camp.”  His grin is the most disgusting thing you have ever seen, you try to memorize his features because one day you may have to kick his ass, his blonde hair and blue eyes make him a villain already. When the other man comes the blonde one shuts his mouth. He tries to feed you with some disgusting looking food just so you don’t lose your “appeal” and when you spit on his face another smack is you get in return. The quiet one is just checking out just in case blonde one needs a backup. You try your best to look tough in front of these monsters but the urge to cry is so strong. You know how horrible raiders are. You don’t know the time but you can choose sunlight from here and there in this god forsaken room. A couple of hours later though when it’s light enough, you realize that you are in the shed you and joel had sex. You want to throw up. You see the mirror, the couch. “You and that old man had a great time here.” The blonde man grins as if sensing your thoughts. The heat rises from your cheeks. You hate the idea of these vile creatures know about you. “I wish we could watch, but hearing your moans gave me a boner.” He laughs. “maybe I should taste that cunt too?” you are beyond repulsed at the moment. Fear, disgust and sadness takes control of you. “you can only fuck your fist. You ugly motherfucker.” “wanna test it out?”  the quiet tells him to shut up. You hear a scream and the quiet man leaves the shed leaving you alone with the blonde man.

As if he is waiting for this moment, he gets closer to you. He rubs your cheek. “now, we’re alone. I’ll see what that old man could taste.” When he gets closer to kiss you, you hit his head with your head. He yelps in pain and he tightly wrap his hands around your neck. You can hardly breath. You are certain that in a minute you’ll be dead. When you see Joel creeping in behind the blonde man tears run down on your cheeks “don’t cry pretty girl, you’ll be dead soon.” Then Joel knocks him out and gives him a couple of serious wounds. He unties your ankles and wrists and he hugs you tightly. “the man-““don’t worry about him now, Tommy is around, he will take care of it.” he says. He helps you out and you leave the shed together. “there was another man.” “I know darling” you feel so tired but the safety being next to him is unexplainable.

He takes you his home and sits you on his couch while wrapping you in a blanket. When he returns with a warm cloth, he wipes down your face. “Now, tell me darling what the fuck was the reason for you to leave your house at the ass crack of dawn!” he says sternly. He thinks it has been a couple of hours… “How you found me?” “the marks in the snow. Also, I reckoned you might get a lil emotional and stuff.” So, he thought you would visit the shed because of the memories. “Why did you leave your house?” the Texan rasps while softly patting the cloth. “I was bored and I wanted to take a night walk.” “You left your house at night! Are you outta your goddamn mind girl!” You don’t have an answer for that. “You know how dangerous that is? You know what they could do to you? look at you your face is a mess!” “Why do you care!” he does not have an answer for your question. Because his heart and brain tells two different things “How did you realize I was not at home Joel?” you mutter . “stop by your place this mornin’ you didn’t answer. Knocked and called out your name, you didn’t answer. Thought you were, yknow mad at me or somethin’ then I wanted to check in anyway, you forgot to lock your back door by the way.” He smiles guiltily. Then you realize he entered your house and could not find you. “your backpack was gone and I thought, you left then I told Tommy, we decided to look for ya.” You feel all warm and fuzzy. All your anger is gone instantly.

“why did you stop by my place?” you ask. He does not answer. But you have a wild guess. You choose to keep it to yourself. “I thought I was going to-““shhh” he kisses your forehead. “I got you.” You are scared to ask another question. The former memory of you still tickles your brain. He holds you softly by the chin and intently studies your scars with furrowed brows. “You need any painkillers? Asprin?” “no” you are enough, you want to add but you don’t. Now you have no idea how to respond him. His actions may be deriving from your state. Or maybe he really cares about you! you are not sure. Your eyes lock for a while. You lose yourself in his chocolate browns. The more he looks at you the more he feels guilty because he wants to kiss you “did they do any-“ you interrupt him “no.” he nods. He gets up from the couch and leave you all alone with your thoughts. The power he holds on you is unbelievable. He was holding you a second ago and you miss his touch already. When he returns with two mugs in his hands you let yourself lose the control of your emotions for once again. “thought I’d help” he hands you the cup when you take it from him your fingers brush each other and you the pool of emotions gets bigger inside you. You smile warmly in return. He sits right beside you, you sip your coffees in silence. This time, you let the silence linger. It does not bother you. On the contrary, it calms you down. You lean your head on his shoulder, he leaves a kiss on your forehead. You don’t know it is the second forehead kiss he has given you, you were asleep in the first one. You wonder how long will it take for him to return his grumpy self. For the moment though you embrace the closeness you are in. It feels so genuine. You tilt your head up and look at him intently “what?” “nothing.” he wants to kiss you so bad. But it feels wrong. This time you take the lead and kiss him not knowing whether he will push you away or kiss you back. He does not push you away. When your tongues meet with each other, the familiarity greets you. You kiss deeply. It almost feels romantic. With each touch or kiss you get use to his presence. You know it is slowly turning into an addiction. He is the one who breaks the kiss. “You needa rest.” “I’m fine” “no.” he carries you to his bed bridal style. It’s barely afternoon but when your back touches the bed, you realize you tired you are. He tucks you in and starts walking away when you call his name “Joel?” “what?” you catch the slight usual grumpy tone. “can you sleep with me?” you sound as if you’re begging. At this point you are embarrassing yourself, but you don’t care. He huffs in return but does not deny your request. He slides in under the blanket like you on his back faces you. You want to ask him to spoon you but decide to shut up and spoon him instead. When your wrap your arms around his torso a smile creeps up on his face though you can’t see it. You nuzzle against his neck and breathe him in. you don’t know what is going to happen next but the security that he gives makes you forget your worries. You fell asleep soon after. He is a banished angel not only from heaven but also from hell, laying in your arms, letting you hold him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

tags: @orcasoul @eliza-8

[sleepyfan-blog]

Fealty

Author's note: this is the second fic in the Fem!Guillilman in 40k series. Link here for the masterlist.

tagged: @egrets-not-regrets @the-pure-angel @i-am-a-dragon34 @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @bleedingichorhearts

warnings: unreliable narrator, past manipulation, please ask me to tag something if I missed it/something specific bothers you

Summary: Titus talks to his fellow Deathwatch officers about some odd happenings within Ultramar. He then finds out the source of the strangeness.

“So… Anyone else noticed how all of us of Deathwatch members have been gathered from all corners and hell-holes of the Imperium and brought aboard this ship are all Sons of Guilliman?” Titus called out, his arms folded over his chest as he called out to several other officer-level Astartes in the room. 

“I mean… We sons of Guilliman outnumber everyone else. From last I heard, roughly fifty to sixty percent of all active loyal astartes can trace their geneseed to Guilliman herself.” Andromicus pointed out, a small frown appearing on his face. 

“It’s still strange that every single marine aboard this ship is a Son of Guilliman, though. I was pulled from my kill-team… And from what I’ve been able to get from the others, the only ones who are with any of their kill-team members is if those other Brothers are also sons of Guilliman. Anyone have any ideas or theories as to why?” Pholecin added, a mirroring frown on his own face. “Some of them were pulled from active battlefields, with other marines replacing them on the field. Injury status be damned.”

“I heard a rumor that an invasion fleet managed to pierce deeply into Ultramar’s defenses. Chaos scum and possibly Tyranids at the same time?” Andromicus offered “I’ve even heard a mutter or two that Maccrage itself was under threat directly. Maybe we’re being sent to aid the efforts there?”

Titus shifted uncomfortably at the thought. He was not looking forward to interacting with the Brothers who had cast him aside after the Incident on Graia. He had done what he could to stem the tides of Orcz and Chaos… Even managed to seal the gate, but in so doing, had been suspected of Chaos Taint. Stripped of his honor and exiled to serve the Inquisition. “I heard something about that as well, something similar. But I’m surprised at how intensely the Chapter Master of the Ultramarines has shut down all means of information gathering and travel. Whatever happened, it’s…” He swallowed, keenly aware of the attention on him, not just from Andromicus and Pholecin, but the rest of the Death Watch Officers who were lounging round in this officer’s lounge “It’s no small thing. I have no idea what…” But he could guess.

“... You wanna explain your thought process about that?” Andromicus asked, looking at him more carefully, briefly focusing on the Ultramarine Ultima on his left pauldron. 

There was a brief, profound silence that permeated the room. Titus was pretty sure that no one was breathing, to avoid possibly missing out on his response. “It’s just… There were several sets of protocols put in place, in case certain things happened. Some of these protocols were kept a secret, to be carried out by the officers who knew them, and from the known movements of the Ultramarine fleet - and the fact that all chapters who have the geneseed of Guilliman within them have been recalled to Ultramar - though some like the Nova Marines and the Mortifactors are from quite far flung reaches of the Imperium. Considering how tightly patrolled the borders of Ultramar are, and how little information even the Inquisition has been able to glean - that they’ve told-”

Titus’ eyes widened a little and he abruptly stopped speaking, as he mentally went over all of the protocols that he knew of that were being followed. A soft exhalation of “Oh. I suspect I know what’s happened.” 

There was a very loud, very intense silence before Pholecin broke it “Care to tell the rest of us? Also, how would you know about these secret Ultramarine protocols?”

“I was Second Captain of the Ultramarines, before being taken into the service of the Inquisition.” Titus revealed, shifting uncomfortably. His eyes glanced briefly to one of the security cameras, before covering his mouth, his voice dropping to a low whisper that nonetheless carried “I suspect that something may have happened to the greatest treasure within the Fortress of Hera.”

Every astartes in the room knew exactly what, or more precisely, who he was referring to. The silence that followed his statement was long and grim. More than one Brother bowed his head, murmuring a quiet prayer to Him on Terra.

“Allegedly, the prime conduit of the Omnisiah was visiting Maccrage at the time, with armor specifically crafted for a Particular Individual, with alterations to ensure that… Certain Injuries this person has would be treated and not be so life-threatening, so long as this person stayed within the armor as they healed.” Titus continued, and the mood shifted in the room to slightly more hopeful.

“There… There are rumors that a new Regent may be crowned on Terra, though whether or not that’s true is… Has yet to be seen. I’ve also heard about the Ruler of Ultramar once again taking up the Golden Laurels.” Andromcus murmured, his voice low, but filled with a painful, tentative hope that Titus could not allow to consume his hearts. “If… If this is so, we may all be recalled home to swear fealty to this Ruler.. As. As with the rest of the Sons of Guilliman are being recalled to do the same.”

“Do you have verified information about that? Or is that yet another rumor?” Titus asked, his hearts in his throat at the idea, hiding his hands beneath the table, so that no one would see the way that they were shaking. His only consolation was the drawn but hopeful looks on everyone else’s faces. No matter what the truth was, they at least had some clue as to what may await them when they were brought to Maccrage.

“I… It’s a rumor, but…” Andromicus shrugged a little “Rumors and supposition are all we have to go on at the moment.”

“That’s true enough.” Titus answered with a shrug and a sigh. There was a restless, shivery energy inside of him that he needed to get out, or it would eat him alive “I’m going to go into one of the training rooms. Anyone else up for a spar?”

“I am.” Pholecin answered immediately, standing up “I… I want to spar as well.”

Titus nodded and the Deathwatch marine of Liberator heritage followed after Titus, the two of them silent as they made their way over to one of the open training rooms.

~

Titus could taste the tension within himself and his fellow Astartes as the Inquisitorial ship landed on the far side of the Fortress of Corrections. There were hundreds of Ultramarines in parade-form waiting for them, armed and armored. A large, ornately decorated and bitterly familiar figure standing at their head, with a slightly shorter but no less well-decorated person standing next to him.

The Inquisitors and the crew had been instructed to stay within the ship. If need be, they would be allowed to fly the vessel to one of the large space port towns within Maccrage. Only Marines were to leave the ship at the Fortress of Corrections - and there had been no shortage of grumbling about it from the non-Astartes, though they were careful not to complain on vox to a very stiff and nearly hostile Chapter Master Calgar, if rumors were to be believed. 

And why wouldn’t Calgar be annoyed to have to recall marines that he and other chapter masters had discarded? To have Marines sent away to the Inquisition for their perceived sins and misdeeds. Not enough to be killed or exiled outright to the Eye of Terror, but banished from the Ultramarines, or the other successor chapters that claimed to be of Guilliman’s lineage brought back to the most holy place of Ultramar. 

Ttus was at the front of the two-hundred and sixty-nine Deathwatch marines who were sons of Guilliman. News that he had once been the captain of the second company of Ultramarines had spread quickly, and while he wasn’t the only former Ultramarine within the ranks of the Deathwatch, he had been the most highly ranked before being taken into their service. The other former-officers of the Ultramarines were at the front, followed by rank and file former Ultramarines, followed by officers of successor chapters and their rank and files by order of Founding. 

Titus did not want to be at the very front. To look the bastard Calgar in the eye for the first time in nearly a hundred years. But he could not deny his Brothers’ request, and the Master of Ultramar was an imposing figure, especially for the first time meeting him. As would be the case for every other Deathwatch marine. It was intensified by several times due to the Chief Librarian’s presence at his side (not that Librarian Tigurius was often far from Master Calgar’s side if either could at all help it) and hundreds of Ultramarines there to watch and silently judge them as they walked in perfect formation towards the Chapter Master of the Ultramarines. 

Titus was the one who had to speak (he’d argued that they at least should draw lots and was soundly out-voted, the bastards). He saluted Calgar and Tigurius in the manner of Ultramar, speaking in formal tones “Greetings, Chapter Master Calgar, Lord of Ultramar. I am Captain Titus of Deathwatch. As you have called, all members of Deathwatch who have the geneseed of Guilliman have arrived upon Maccrage, to my knowledge. What duty do you ask of us, lord?”

“It was not I who called you to Ultramar, but a higher authority. Surrender your weapons, each of you, to the nearest Ultrarmarine, and you will meet with this higher authority individually. If you refuse you will be executed on the spot.” Calgar rumbled, staring down at Titus.

… The only person with more authority than Calgar on Maccrage itself was a very small number indeed. This, along with the insidious hope that had bloomed within Titus’ hearts had him immediately handing over his bolter and blades, carefully checking that he had removed all of his weapons - including the emergency knives that he stored in his boots, carefully handing over each weapon to the waiting Ultramarine who had walked up to him. He gestured to the other Deathwatch marines, many of whom were unhappy at the choice before them “As you say, Lord Calgar. That should be the last of my weapons, sir.”

 “... Follow me, then.” Calgar ordered after staring at him for a long moment, his red bionic eye glaring harshly in the morning light. 

“As you command, sir.” TItus answered back, suppressing the bitterness at the sight of the fucker who’d taken his place - the white and red plume on his helmet marking him as a noble of Talassar. Of course he’d been replaced by a noble. There had been so much bitching about the fact that he, of low-born blood, had managed to attain such a prestigious rank in the first place. 

The fact that he’d been shuffled off to the Inquisition at the first major opportunity to do so had been a surprise at the time, but one that Titus should have realized in hindsight was coming. He followed silently after Calgar, able to keep up with the larger Marine, and keeping a respectful three step distance between himself and the other. He could tell that certain parts of the Fortress of Corrections had recently been repaired or rebuilt, though it was unlikely any of the other Deathwatch Astartes would notice, as none of them had spent enough time to know what was a new patch and what had been standing tall for millena. 

They reached an ornate door, where four first company veteran Ultramarines were standing guard in front of. Calgar briefly spoke with the guards before turning to face Titus directly. “You will enter that room alone. If I may offer a bit of advice, it is this; speak with all of the honesty you possess, for the being inside will know if you are attempting deception. I say this not because I think you are dishonest, but as a… Suggestion, based on personal experience.”

With that, two of the Ultramarines opened the doors and Titus stepped inside the room.

~

The first thing he noticed was the scale of the room. It was built large, even by Astartes standards. It had recently been cleaned, as he could smell the faint pall of dust in the air and the sharp scent of cleanser in the air. At the far end of the room stood a large, beautifully charged wooden desk, and sat behind it was an armored figure.

Larger than even Calgar and the other Brothers who wore Terminator plate, sat a figure in the most ornate armor he had ever seen, in Ultramarine colors and heraldry. This person’s helmet had been set down on the desk, and Titus’ eyes caught on the name carved into the other’s right pauldron, the breath catching in his throat.

Guilliman

His knees hit the sturdy stone floor with a brief clang, and TItus respectfully focused his gaze onto the floor near Her desk, unable to bring himself to look upon her visage without being given the privilege directly, his mouth and throat going dry as he registered an immense psychic presence that effortlessly dominated the room. He was no psyker, but his repeated exposure to Chaos and the Immaterium had left him with a slight ability to sense those with psychic potential. 

He did not speak. He barely dared to breathe in her presence, mentally reeling at the fact that his most desperate hope when he’d heard the bits and pieces of what was going on within Ultramar, and the movement of the sons of Guilliman had been since the conclusion of the Ultramar campaign of the Thirteenth Black Crusade were true.

She is alive.

She is awake.

She rules them, once more. 

But what did She want with a disgraced and exiled Astartes like himself? Titus awaited orders, or judgment. Or both. He desperately hoped that she would not find him short of Her standards. 

“Rise, my son. You are Demetrian Titus, yes? Formerly of my second company?” She instructs and asks, her voice clear and heart-stirring.

He immediately obeys her orders, still not daring to look her in the eye “That I am, ma’am.” 

“Did you choose the path of Deathwatch?” She asks.

Titus shakes his head “No ma’am. I was arrested by an Inquisitor at the end of the Graia campaign, after defeating a greater daemon and sealing the breach. I was suspected of Chaos taint. After… After that Inquisitor was arrested and killed for other, unrelated crimes, I and the other Astartes he had in cryo freeze were unthawed and put into the service of the Ordo Xenos. We were told that our chapters considered us dead to them, and did not wish us to return.” That had stung terribly. He hadn’t realized how badly he’d been thought of… Then again, the accusation of Chaos corruption was a devastating blow to anyone’s reputation. Especially an officer’s.

She briefly hummed in response “I see. That is not what your records with the Ultramarines say. They state that you died after heroically sealing the rift on Graia, succumbing to your injuries. I suspect that the Inquisition wanted to keep you and your daemon-slaying skills for themselves, and lied to you, so that you would not try to contact your Brothers.” 

She had no reason to lie to him. This information sent Titus reeling emotionally, though he hoped that none of that played across his face or body. He… Hadn’t been cast away by his Brothers? Part of him wanted to reject that but again… His Primarch had no reason to lie to him about this. “... Oh.”

“Titus… Demetrian. Look at me, please.” Lady Guilliman ordered him, though the order was a gentle one. 

Titus flinched back, having not expected her to use his first name, his eyes snapping up and he briefly looked her directly in her bright blue eyes. Eyes that he’d seen in hundreds of Brothers, before he averted his gaze to one of her shoulders, the enormity of her presence too much for him to handle. “As you command, my Lady.” He murmurs quietly. 

“I am asking if you wish to rejoin the Ultramarines, or if you’d rather stay a member of Deathwatch. You would be a lieutenant, as the position of second Captain has been filled during your presumed death, but you would be able to assume the duties of a lieutenant of the second company, should you wish it.”

Titus had no idea how to react to her incredibly generous offer. He was well aware of the fact that Ultramarines weren’t demoted, just because a superior officer happened to show up after being presumed dead. “I… Do you expect my answer immediately, Lady Primarch?”

The Lady of Ultramar shook her head, a small but gentle smile appearing on her face “If you do not have the answer immediately come to mind, you do have time to consider your options, son.I wanted to give you and the other sons of mine currently in the service to the Inquisition the opportunity to re-join their brothers, and to serve me more directly. If you feel your duties lay with the Deathwatch and the Ordo Xenos, I will respect that decision.”

Son. The word echoed in Titus’ head, to the beating of his hearts. The opportunity to directly serve a Primarch… The last living loyal Primarch stole the breath from his lungs, and made his head swim at the potential prospect. He knew his answer then “I… I would be honored to serve you, in whatever capacity you see fit, my Lady.”

The smile on Her face brightened as she stood up from the chair she’d been sitting in, walking over to where Titus had been kneeling respectfully, offering him a hand. “Your answer gladdens my heart, my son.”

Titus nodded, forcing himself to maintain eye contact with her, as he murmured the Vows of Service and Fealty that he had once sworn to Chapter Master Calgar, upon becoming a fully-fledged Ultramarine, centuries ago, his voice calm and steady as he finished with “-until my final breath, I swear to serve you, Ultramar and the Imperium, my Lady. My Primarch.” Queen Mother. He pressed a penitent kiss to her knuckles, bowing his head forward respectfully.

“Rise, my son. Rise, Demetrian Titus, Lieutenant of the Second Company of my Ultramarines. I will introduce you to your captain tomorrow. For now, take the day to re-acquaint yourself with the Fortress of Hera and move into your quarters here.” She commanded of him.

Titus nodded, wordlessly grateful for her magnanimous gift. “Yes, my lady.” He stood and bowed before leaving, his hearts singing in his chest.

[faroreskiss]

The Power of Understanding / Pilot (Part 1 v2)

Rewritten to v2 on: 2023/09/10

Cheat Sheet

Read of Ao3

Chapters: Pilot, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

Summary: You have been with the Chain for a while now, as their "scholar" and translator. You know everything about them, because you are from our world. But do *they *know the truth about how you can understand everyone?

A little introduction and world building concept for the Translator!Reader and her adventures. Check notes below for more info!

Non-linear fic.

AU fic, prior to TotK (instead of TotK, chain events happen).

Loosely based on the same reader in my NSFW fic, which is a very loose prequel to this one, and a work in progress.

More background info to come, if I feel like it :D

Warnings: None, maybe some cussing, but nothing is censored. SFW content.

Points of interest: This is your thing if you are into the mystery of chain being able to talk to each other. I am an actual trained linguist IRL, hence this HAD to be written!

You were daydreaming in the middle of the day about him again, amidst the smell of horse shit around you, when you're supposed to be finishing the work you have until the end of the day. Or until a new portal pops up to swallow you all to Goddess knows which Hyrule this time. Damned black-blooded monsters. At least, this gave you some break.

You, coming from our own era, have been acting as the scholar of the Chain for the last couple of years, while hopping from world to world with them. Knowing this, Malon put you to work on the books of the ranch, instead of letting you deal with the cows or the horses, even though you really didn’t have anything specific to do with maths. You thought she was being kind to you, not letting you deal with dirty ranch work, you guessed? She was a sweetheart either way.

You wanted to hang out with Twilight at the same time, so instead of using the little study Malon offered, you took the books and went down to the stables. You continued with your own stuff, while he was taking care of the horses.

There was also this little thing: you were the only one who understood every single one of them, (almost) very clearly, comparatively speaking. Sure they could communicate without you just as well, but due to a bunch of coincidences, you were the closest thing to the “translation magic”, if you can call it that. Maybe it was your Hoshi Sato gene*. Maybe it was the fact that you actually stayed with Link & Zelda in the post-Calamity world, around two years prior meeting the Chain**, maybe a bit of magic was also involved. Hylia works in mysterious ways! Did it almost cost you your brain? Yes. Was it worth it? Absolutely. 

Some Links, of course, understood each other better than the others, especially when their eras were, linguistically speaking, not that far. Time and Twilight were just fine. Legend and Hyrule were already able to understand each other, even a little bit better than Time and Twilight. Sky was a bit further away and had a “funny way of saying things” (according to the Sailor), almost gibberish, but when you listened and when he spoke slowly enough, you could at least get the gist of what he was trying to say. Wind, Time, and Warriors already knew each other from other “incidents” before the Chain, so they already had a way of communicating. 

These worlds also did not have many invasions and wars by “outsiders”, if you don’t count things like the Triforce War, Imprisoning War, Sealing War, and of course, anything that had to do with Demise, Ganon & co. and their horrible reincarnations. This meant, not a lot of language change.

In the end, what happened was that over the two years you have been together with the group, you helped them understand each other better. They adjusted their accents, and somehow warped the Hylian they speak in a way that the group would understand (and especially you), when the dialogue was still within the group. Of course, the Old Man would speak more “naturally” with Malon and vice versa, and some of the chain would adjust better (e.g. Twilight or Smithy) to the language of the era they are in. After some point, communication was not that much of a problem. You learnt it all in the end. 

Writing? 

Funny enough, Wild, Sky, and Twilight had similar scripts. Time and Wind had more similar writing systems. Wild, Wars, Legend, Time, and Rulie were also better at understanding the scripts of their respective eras. Overall, other than a couple of hiccups, most understood the others’ script to an extent. 

And then there was Wild. Also known as “The Cook” nowadays. The rest of the chain didn’t know you called them the Chain in your mind, and had your little nicknames for them. The nicknames most likely revealed a bit too much, and even though most of the secrets were out nowadays… You knew better than to risk more. You have caused enough damage, you would think sometimes. Even though you just couldn’t resist the urge. 

Anyway… Wild, his case and communication issues… were complicated.

According to the rest of the chain when you guys first met, whatever he was saying (and vice versa) was almost complete gibberish at first. Some terms and special names like “deku,” “korok,” “Hylia,” “Hyrule,” “rupee,” and such were still there, albeit with a different accent, and they helped, but it was not enough. You only found out later that it was kind of… your fault. 

In the end, he was also able to communicate with them just fine. Each Link had their own… language variation and accents, so to say. Some of them did not even have the difference enough to call it a “dialect” comparatively. As you thought, language change is a slow enough process, and with the lack of ‘conflicts’ (for lack of a better word) compared to your world, no wonder they were still somehow able to understand each other. . 

The Goddesses work in mysterious ways indeed.

How did it work for you, though? There was this little secret that… First time around, when you first dropped into Wild's Hyrule, “Hylian” was basically a weird mesh-up of English and Japanese to your ears, after the enchantment from the Great Fairies you have received. It was “so you could slowly understand and grasp and communicate”, you were told. 

Oh boy, it really felt like a genie granting you a wish, but in its own twisted way. You found that out later though. 

Second time around when you first met the rest of Links, though? The first enchantment… kind of messed everything up. Second time around, you actually ended up learning real Hylian. At least, the Hylian that was used as a lingua franca between you guys. 

Of course, some learning skill enchantment was definitely not out of the deal this time as well, thanks to Rulie & Time and their fairy friends, and of course the Smithy. But what a disaster it had been! Well, it wasn’t your fault that the first time the enchantment was made, nobody calculated that you would meet the Links from other eras.

You also naturally know the reason behind why Links in kind of irrelevant eras could decipher each other's texts, even when they didn’t understand the words all the time. Some were based on the Latin alphabet, and some were on Japanese kana. No way you could clearly explain it to them.

“Oh, by the way, you are made by a game company called Nintendo, and this guy is called Miyamoto…”

Yeah, no. That didn’t go well last time. Nobody even understood what you meant. 

That was a battle to fight for another day… Now, you need to focus on the budget of the Lon Lon Ranch. And not be distracted by Twilight’s statue.

________________

Notes:

Fanciest and most OP translator you will ever know. Star Trek Universe. 

"You” already spent three years with Link and Zelda in Wild’s world and were enchanted by the Great Fairies (with Zelda’s involvement) for the improvement of learning abilities.

[rosedere]

The Liyue Lotus and the Merchant from Snezhnaya (Pantalone x Fem Reader)

MDNI +18

Cw: kidnapping, Stalking, non con elements, Graphic violence (later chapters), Yandere content *will update as the series goes

Cross posted on AO3

Part 1,Part 2,Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,Chapter 7: The Last dinner (you are here), Part 8, Part 9, Part 10~

Synopsis: Unfortunately, The Regerator develops a fixation with you while you are working undercover for Yelan. And there’s no one who can get in his way of his prized Lotus.

Convinced myself to like the beds I shared

While crying, going numb and lying bare

I did it all for them and more

With all my body getting sore

How could I be so brutal to myself?

Will I ever love?

You laid beside him breathless.

Of course, he wasn't even close to done; still laying down a row of warm kisses to your collarbone, signaling for another round.

You had your eyes shut trying to catch your breath.

The whole incident was strange to you, musing silently about your slain co-worker.

No other soldiers Were around from what you could observe when you both made it from the tunnel.

The only one there was Pantalone.

But from your reports he had no vision on him from what Yelan had briefed you about him; even if he had some combat experience that shot would have been too far to make from him.

You knew you had to go back, Or at least find Yelan once again without whoever was hiding around the estate possibly hunting you know that you were alone.

“Dear?” 

You reopened your eyes;His amethyst eyes glowed in the dusk-filled room, eyes meeting yours while he lay nestled against your breasts. Pantalone's hair was strewn in a mess compared to his usual tied-back hairstyle.

Pantalone's glasses were strewn on the nightstand near the sturdy bed.

“Mm—”

“You seem distracted” He stared you down scrunching his brow.

His hand began to creep from under the rustled sheets towards your cheek.

“Just a bit tired” you murmured, “I heard from Galina you've been easily exhausted” he began to rub your cheek.

“Oh that's nothing, I just assume it's from the weather” you sighed, closing your eyes once more.

He didn't respond, but he didn't stop touching you. 

“I wonder…”

You felt Pantalone's lithe hand run over the swell of your stomach.

“I wonder if someone might be…”

Your eyes fluttered open.

Fear rises in the pit of your gut.

The Archons wouldn't be cruel enough to curse you again with that same pain from those 15 years ago.

“No”

Pantalone snapped to focus on your face, previously focusing on your exposed stomach.

“I- just don't think it could happen… at my age” you muttered the last part your head low to your chin.

“Besides, you wore protection didn't you?” Looking at Pantalone for confirmation of your sentence he only kept idly tracing your stomach creating a tickle bubbling in your gut from the sensitivity in the area.

“Maybe we should take you to the doctor” he nonchalantly told you, “even if your claim is true It's not normal to be so tired princess” 

You scoffed at the mention

“Princess?” you repeated

“your beauty is of one Lián” Pantalone replied, 

You only made a scrunched-up expression as you flicked your eyes up to the larger canopy above both of you, The main structure of the fabric attached to the top of the pillars on the corners of the bed reminded you of a large night sky.

“Lián” 

You only lazily nodded in response; your eyes still focusing on the top of the canopy above.

“would you marry me if I asked you” 

oh, Archons no.

“Depends” You looked down to see him observing you with hope in his eyes, He with haste grabbed your hand aligningyour palms together in front of the two of you.

“I don't think I'm the type you should settle down with” you smiled to yourself, “After all you shouldn't put all your eggs in a basket Pantalone” 

His face immediately fell at your answer; a forlorn look of despair and annoyance. He grasps your hand once more playfully holding it to his cheek.

“I did a lot of thinking while I was away Lián” he cleared his throat “and my heart doesn't hesitate when it tells me who is destined to be my future fiancee”

“I'm not saying you shouldn't be with me” you panicked trying to quell the storm beginning to brew in his flawless face,“it's more of maybe you should just be patient” 

However, it seemed he was fuming at your words. His brows cross and the end of his mouth twitching with displeasure.

“I thought I told you when I returned I expected an answer”

His tone was now deeper, a silent rage rising.

“I even allowed you to roam in my abode to decide what you truly wanted” 

“Pantalone…”

You rolled to your side reaching for his back.

Your fingers slide to the center of his neck gently pressing into his firm back.

“I love you” you quietly confessed.

There was more silence from the raven-haired man.

“I just…” 

You hesitated exhaling as you focused your fingers into the rough spot on his back.

“I do not want to get married again” 

You felt your head lower at the mention.

In all honesty, you don't know why you were making legitimate excuses to him, you weren't going to marry him either way if he genuinely proposed, you were just an agent undercover.

It wouldn't work out anyway…

“I thought you'd never been married to anyone before” He snapped back at you angrily.

“Well… We never got to get married” you trailed off, “It didn't work out between us” The tears began to trail your lash line at the small fragment of memory.

“I just don't want to deal with that embarrassment again” 

This time it was your turn to roll yourself in the blankets and sheets turning to the left side to look out the gated balcony outside.

“What if we just try Lián”

You couldn't contain the few silvery tears dampening the pillow below your cheek.

“We can both go to Sneznyha and get married and see where it takes the both of us” He rustled the sheets, still not closing the gap between you in the bed.

“you even said it yourself you've lived your whole life in Liyue harbor; don't you want to leave to create new memories somewhere else?” 

You didn't reply, but you decided to sit up covering your chest as best as you could with your blanket.

“Where are you going?” He demanded

“I want to freshen up a bit”

“Alone” and that you did, you wandered off on unsteady feet to the bathroom where your robe would most likely be.

You didn't dare to look back at Pantalone as you shut the folding door. 

Exhaling a breath you didn't realize was sitting in your chest you immediately turned on the warm tap you had seen Galina do many times.

Ironically this was one of those times you wished she was here, or at least Fedor to muse about your current situation.

The steam began to fill the room signaling for you to get ready to sit in the tub.

Your hair was tousled, but you did your best to comb out the small hair pins that were still attached.

As you racked your hair through the top of your head your eyes widened.

It had to be a mistake, your hair was messed up from laying and sitting up but the small shining gem should still be tucked underneath your hair where you placed it from before.

Holding your hand out you tried to channel your Cryo energy.

Your fingertips collected a small amount of Cryo, but it wasn't as strong as when you first retrieved it.

Mentally retracing your steps, you were relieved to know it had to be somewhere either in the bedroom or back into the entranceway, recalling feeling the vision as you brushed up against Pantalone.

frustrated you placed the hairpins on the sole rocks next to the tub.

you grabbed your towel about to get in when you felt shaken. You wobbled back, trying to correct yourself, back and forth you felt your vision funnel around you. Stepping back to what you thought was the tub, only to feel yourself tumble backward.

Falling onto your back with a loud thud.

Your vision turned pink; you slurred trying to murmur for help.

And with a spiral-like finish, you fell into darkness.

…

Cold.

A throne room.

You were walking along the icy path leading to the tall dark navy throne in front of you in the spotlights of the windows above the cathedral-like room.

A woman was there with a dark navy veil, only silver locks fell from the side of her face as she sat on the throne.

“There you are (name)”

Her voice sounded like crystals hitting the ice.

You felt yourself stop,standing in front of the throne.

“I've been watching you for a long time” she chuckled.

You only narrowed your eyes at her.

“It seems you don't realize the true danger of this trap you have fallen into” she sighed.

She lifted her left cloaked hand extending a long manicured nail as pale as snow to the left.

Footsteps were rapidly approaching you both.

You couldn't see who it was as they hadn't reached the spotlights yet but the footsteps were small but dainty and calculated reminding you of a familiar someone.

“I apologize for the troubles you had to befall in the past and the current”

She clasped her hands, you realized the footsteps stopped.

Your eyes darted to the spotlight beside her throne.

The world felt as if it had stopped.

You couldn't react to this dream or illusion. Only spectating.

But if you could you would have died.

“I hope this gift will find you well; although the tragedy that will have to occur for you to finally carry this gift with you” 

Her words were powerful as the person—

Or the child standing in front of you in the spotlight.

She at least had to be 8 years old; tall, she wore a long fur robe around her body only being able to tell she was wearing a floor-length gown that had white and blue glittering tulle underneath.

Your complexion and similar colored eyes looked back at you, a simple smile on her fine lips as she looked towards you.

Her hair was a dark ebony color, long flowing back her chest reminiscent of mermaid waves.

She reminded you of the daydreams you had picturing him and your child occasionally.

“How can you be so cruel to me and show me a future that will never happen” you thought.

The woman only smiled as you glared at her.

“Goodbye (name)”

“I'll see you very soon”

…

You gasped— the breath returning into you.

The first face you saw surprisingly wasn't Pantalone but the tall Fatui Mage, her trademark hood in clear view as she was in front of you holding a leaf or something to your nose.

Of course, Fedor was standing beside Galina, it seemed you were on the ground of Pantalone's room.

“Lián! She's awake” Fedor announced

“I knew this would awaken her” Galina sighed a sigh of relief.

“Lián, do you remember what happened before you passed out?” Galina asked.

You didn't realize you were propped up in someone's arms until you felt Galina grab you to sit up in her arms.

“I-”

“I had a weird dream” you slurred trying to keep your eyes from shutting once more.

“It was really cold” You tried to recall the scenes only remembering the feelings.

It was like the dream was gone from your memory.

“She went into the bathroom by herself without me; I tried following after her but she locked shut the gate before I could enter,” Pantalone said from behind you.

“I heard the water turn on but I never heard Lián get in” he gestured to the tub that you didn't even notice was full, soaking the ground around the tub.

You did recall the events though, remembering getting up to go wander the estate without Pantalone. 

And your vision.

You only stayed silent nodding in agreement.

“Ironic as I'd just been scolding my princess to go see a doctor” Pantalone exaggerated a sigh.

“I guess I will call one immediately” He left the room leaving you.

he hesitated before he got up from where he was seated on the bathroom floor, and stopped very close to your ear.

“You win tonight” he mumbled under his breath.

-

“Is something missing my lady?” She parted your hair once more allowing her to form a single French braid.

“I lost one of my favorite silver trinkets earlier” you sighed, “I found it in the steam during noon and then I lost it once Lord Pantalone got home” You tucked your face into the pillow.

“don't tell me that's why you trespassed into dangerous territory lián” Galina scolded 

“That area is Fatui personnel only; you could have gotten yourself killed down there” she tsked you giving a light pat to your back.

after a few moments of silence, while she meticulously braided your hair, you still lying on your pillow resting your chin.

The thought occurred to you that this was the first time you'd truly been able to relax.

Before Pantalone had “captured” you most of your days would be from running through the bustling harbor to keep your body in shape, to having the occasional pleasure of Running into Ganyu and Keqing in their usual spot under the pavilion before you'd scurry off and train in the mountains with your bow and vision for most of the evenings.

A change of pace that you had now.

Your brow furrowed as you thought about Pantalone's proposition.

Did you want the rest of your days to be occupied with seeing Pantalone, Galina, and Fedor every day?

Lying on your side as you got dressed up all day like a doll.

oh, Archons no.

“Depends” You looked down to see him observing you with hope in his eyes, He with haste grabbed your hand aligningyour palms together in front of the two of you.

“I don't think I'm the type you should settle down with” you smiled to yourself, “After all you shouldn't put all your eggs in a basket Pantalone” 

His face immediately fell at your answer; a forlorn look of despair and annoyance. He grasps your hand once more playfully holding it to his cheek.

“I did a lot of thinking while I was away Lián” he cleared his throat “and my heart doesn't hesitate when it tells me who is destined to be my future fiancee”

“I'm not saying you shouldn't be with me” you panicked trying to quell the storm beginning to brew in his flawless face,“it's more of maybe you should just be patient” 

However, it seemed he was fuming at your words. His brows cross and the end of his mouth twitching with displeasure.

“I thought I told you when I returned I expected an answer”

His tone was now deeper, a silent rage rising.

“I even allowed you to roam in my abode to decide what you truly wanted” 

“Pantalone…”

You rolled to your side reaching for his back.

Your fingers slide to the center of his neck gently pressing into his firm back.

“I love you” you quietly confessed.

There was more silence from the raven-haired man.

“I just…” 

You hesitated exhaling as you focused your fingers into the rough spot on his back.

“I do not want to get married again” 

You felt your head lower at the mention.

In all honesty, you don't know why you were making legitimate excuses to him, you weren't going to marry him either way if he genuinely proposed, you were just an agent undercover.

It wouldn't work out anyway…

“I thought you'd never been married to anyone before” He snapped back at you angrily.

“Well… We never got to get married” you trailed off, “It didn't work out between us” The tears began to trail your lash line at the small fragment of memory.

“I just don't want to deal with that embarrassment again” 

This time it was your turn to roll yourself in the blankets and sheets turning to the left side to look out the gated balcony outside.

“What if we just try Lián”

You couldn't contain the few silvery tears dampening the pillow below your cheek.

“We can both go to Sneznyha and get married and see where it takes the both of us” He rustled the sheets, still not closing the gap between you in the bed.

“you even said it yourself you've lived your whole life in Liyue harbor; don't you want to leave to create new memories somewhere else?” 

You didn't reply, but you decided to sit up covering your chest as best as you could with your blanket.

“Where are you going?” He demanded

“I want to freshen up a bit”

“Alone” and that you did, you wandered off on unsteady feet to the bathroom where your robe would most likely be.

You didn't dare to look back at Pantalone as you shut the folding door. 

Exhaling a breath you didn't realize was sitting in your chest you immediately turned on the warm tap you had seen Galina do many times.

Ironically this was one of those times you wished she was here, or at least Fedor to muse about your current situation.

The steam began to fill the room signaling for you to get ready to sit in the tub.

Your hair was tousled, but you did your best to comb out the small hair pins that were still attached.

As you racked your hair through the top of your head your eyes widened.

It had to be a mistake, your hair was messed up from laying and sitting up but the small shining gem should still be tucked underneath your hair where you placed it from before.

Holding your hand out you tried to channel your Cryo energy.

Your fingertips collected a small amount of Cryo, but it wasn't as strong as when you first retrieved it.

Mentally retracing your steps, you were relieved to know it had to be somewhere either in the bedroom or back into the entranceway, recalling feeling the vision as you brushed up against Pantalone.

frustrated you placed the hairpins on the sole rocks next to the tub.

you grabbed your towel about to get in when you felt shaken. You wobbled back, trying to correct yourself, back and forth you felt your vision funnel around you. Stepping back to what you thought was the tub, only to feel yourself tumble backward.

Falling onto your back with a loud thud.

Your vision turned pink; you slurred trying to murmur for help.

And with a spiral-like finish, you fell into darkness.

…

Cold.

A throne room.

You were walking along the icy path leading to the tall dark navy throne in front of you in the spotlights of the windows above the cathedral-like room.

A woman was there with a dark navy veil, only silver locks fell from the side of her face as she sat on the throne.

“There you are (name)”

Her voice sounded like crystals hitting the ice.

You felt yourself stop,standing in front of the throne.

“I've been watching you for a long time” she chuckled.

You only narrowed your eyes at her.

“It seems you don't realize the true danger of this trap you have fallen into” she sighed.

She lifted her left cloaked hand extending a long manicured nail as pale as snow to the left.

Footsteps were rapidly approaching you both.

You couldn't see who it was as they hadn't reached the spotlights yet but the footsteps were small but dainty and calculated reminding you of a familiar someone.

“I apologize for the troubles you had to befall in the past and the current”

She clasped her hands, you realized the footsteps stopped.

Your eyes darted to the spotlight beside her throne.

The world felt as if it had stopped.

You couldn't react to this dream or illusion. Only spectating.

But if you could you would have died.

“I hope this gift will find you well; although the tragedy that will have to occur for you to finally carry this gift with you” 

Her words were powerful as the person—

Or the child standing in front of you in the spotlight.

She at least had to be 8 years old; tall, she wore a long fur robe around her body only being able to tell she was wearing a floor-length gown that had white and blue glittering tulle underneath.

Your complexion and similar colored eyes looked back at you, a simple smile on her fine lips as she looked towards you.

Her hair was a dark ebony color, long flowing back her chest reminiscent of mermaid waves.

She reminded you of the daydreams you had picturing him and your child occasionally.

“How can you be so cruel to me and show me a future that will never happen” you thought.

The woman only smiled as you glared at her.

“Goodbye (name)”

“I'll see you very soon”

…

You gasped— the breath returning into you.

The first face you saw surprisingly wasn't Pantalone but the tall Fatui Mage, her trademark hood in clear view as she was in front of you holding a leaf or something to your nose.

Of course, Fedor was standing beside Galina, it seemed you were on the ground of Pantalone's room.

“Lián! She's awake” Fedor announced

“I knew this would awaken her” Galina sighed a sigh of relief.

“Lián, do you remember what happened before you passed out?” Galina asked.

You didn't realize you were propped up in someone's arms until you felt Galina grab you to sit up in her arms.

“I-”

“I had a weird dream” you slurred trying to keep your eyes from shutting once more.

“It was really cold” You tried to recall the scenes only remembering the feelings.

It was like the dream was gone from your memory.

“She went into the bathroom by herself without me; I tried following after her but she locked shut the gate before I could enter,” Pantalone said from behind you.

“I heard the water turn on but I never heard Lián get in” he gestured to the tub that you didn't even notice was full, soaking the ground around the tub.

You did recall the events though, remembering getting up to go wander the estate without Pantalone. 

And your vision.

You only stayed silent nodding in agreement.

“Ironic as I'd just been scolding my princess to go see a doctor” Pantalone exaggerated a sigh.

“I guess I will call one immediately” He left the room leaving you.

he hesitated before he got up from where he was seated on the bathroom floor, and stopped very close to your ear.

“You win tonight” he mumbled under his breath.

-

“Galina” you lazily called over the massive pillow you were currently lying on your side.

She only hummed in acknowledgment as she kept braiding your hair back.

“Did you happen to see…. A small accessory anywhere?” You knew subtly was the way to ask, You weren't even sure if Galina knew what visions were anyway.

“Is something missing my lady?” She parted your hair once more allowing her to form a single French braid.

“I lost one of my favorite silver trinkets earlier” you sighed, “I found it in the steam during noon and then I lost it once Lord Pantalone got home” You tucked your face into the pillow.

“don't tell me that's why you trespassed into dangerous territory lián” Galina scolded 

“That area is Fatui personnel only; you could have gotten yourself killed down there” she tsked you giving a light pat to your back.

after a few moments of silence, while she meticulously braided your hair, you still lying on your pillow resting your chin.

The thought occurred to you that this was the first time you'd truly been able to relax.

Before Pantalone had “captured” you most of your days would be from running through the bustling harbor to keep your body in shape, to having the occasional pleasure of Running into Ganyu and Keqing in their usual spot under the pavilion before you'd scurry off and train in the mountains with your bow and vision for most of the evenings.

A change of pace that you had now.

Your brow furrowed as you thought about Pantalone's proposition.

Did you want the rest of your days to be occupied with seeing Pantalone, Galina, and Fedor every day?

Lying on your side as you got dressed up all day like a doll.

It just wasn't the life for you.

“Lián, if it's that important to you then I'll go look for it once the doctor finishes his examination”

She sounded frustrated, but her tone was the lispy-sounding caring voice she always had with you.

“No-no it's alright I shouldn't have made you worry about it I'll just buy another one” you frowned.

“I insist my lady, I'm very familiar with this whole estate If it's here it cannot hide from me” She smiled to herself, andshe grabbed an elastic tying off the end of the braid.

“There, now you're ready” 

Galina got up and approached the hallway leaving you by yourself on the bed, now empty.

Pantalone had left downstairs doing god knows what. 

You only assumed the worst, possibly trying to figure out who else to strike down while he was in Liyue.

“Miss Lián” 

You heard approaching footsteps behind you.

lazily you turned to look up at the Fatui medical agent, his long white coat adorned with what you'd heard was a delusion on his hip. 

Dendro from the looks of its unusual appearance.

“H-hello”  you replied weakly, you gulped as you saw him leave his doctor's bag on the ground beside you.

“She seems fine right now, and my subordinate took her to bed straight away to make sure she didn't wound her head or body” Galina then approached the doctor near your bedside.

“She's also been complaining of fatigue and extremely weak along with a weak stomach sometimes” Galina fussed once more.

The doctor grabbed a few tools before he began to feel around your head with his large hands, “Can you follow my fingers Lián” The doctor reached into his coat to retrieve a light flashing it all around your eyes and head as he made you look left to right several times.

“Lay back for me miss Lián” 

You rolled to your back now sprawled out the white nightgown you had on barely covering your knees.His hands pressed the sides of your stomach gauging if you felt pressure or vice versa.

It wasn't until he reached your hips that he immediately hesitated.

You felt your heart race as he focused above your belly button.

“Miss Lián have you had any cramps in this area?” 

You shook your head no feeling that horrid feeling of your neck and face being ebbed away by the sensation of discomfort that came with panic.

Watching him as he held his hand over your stomach; a green glow filling his fingertips as a bubble of Dendro energy was radiating over your naval.

And just as soon as it started he stopped.

“I may have found the issue, but I'll need to take the patterns of my energy synthesis to confirm my findings” He turned to Galina who only nodded in agreement.

“So what is wrong with My lady?” Galina questioned. “Her head and reflexes are fine, no reason for the fainting” he held the small pieces of Dendro energy in his hands. 

“I'd say once I process this in a moment I can confidently give you and Lord Pantalone a diagnosis” he got up leaving the room in a hurry.With just you and Galina in the room, you decided to lull your head over your shoulder to look at Galina patiently waiting by your bedside.

“Galina” you breathed softly.

“Yes my lady” she attentively responded.

“Pantalone isn't mad at me is he?” you felt repulsed by how heartbroken your tone sounded.

“Of course not my lady, He's just busy preparing the special dinner…” Her words faded away as she paused.

“No— I mean to say why would he be angry at you my lady” Galina corrected herself a bit too late.

“We… got in a small argument before I passed out” you sighed, “and I think he might have been a bit bothered about it” Your mind replayed the conversation once more, the fury in his eyes and face when you told him to not settle down with you.

You had hoped he'd fall out of love with you anyway but being human after all, it hurt to see someone as lethal as Pantalone to be angered by you.

Galina sat beside you on Pantalone's side of the bed only smiling a comforting smile to you.

you let your thumb find your lip as you press it nervously into your bottom lip area.

“I may have rejected him when he was confessing his true feelings for me”  You swallowed a thick gulp nervously.

“I'm lying, It was when he suggested I might have been pregnant, then I got annoyed, and then he told me he'd wanted to marry me but I told him he shouldn't just settle for me— after all, I've been hurt before and if I have another marriage fail with the man I love—”

You stopped yourself.

You heard it

And Galina had just heard your abrupt confession.

“Did–”

“You did Lián” Galina giggled

You bit down on your thumbnail hard instead of saying any more.

Galina's melodious laugh filled your brain.

“Oh Lián, you're just overthinking so many things” She lifted the side of your braid playing with it.

“You've never truly seen him mad before” she lowly whispered

“If you truly want to make it right I think you should apologize to him— if your little confession is anything then you'dwant him to know you weren't being heartless on purpose” Your braid was now the focus of her attention as she spun it around.

“Maybe I should tell him now…” you sat up letting your legs curl underneath you.

“I would wait for a little… like uh” Galina looked at her wrist under her cloak “Maybe at dinner time” she specified.

“He is very busy with something right now” 

you looked up at her and nodded.

A few seconds of silence radiated from you.

Then finally the sound of the send to the doctor came in.

“My readings show you are indeed healthy Miss Lián” he cheerfully announced.

“I did see some abnormalities in your lower stomach I will keep an eye on but for now I'm focusing on your poor nutrient intake” he reached for your arms once again poking and prodding them.

“Your body needs more water and food” The doctor held onto your hands infusing the Dendro liquid into your skin.

It was after several minutes that you felt a kick of energy in your body.

“See? Feel better?” He smiled at you letting his big hands move away from your arms

“No skipping meals and double the intake on everything you eat and drink” he reached in his bag for a bottle of medicine, the continents reminding you of small amber orbs or crystals packed full in the cylindrical bottle.

“This should keep you from any more nasty incidents like previously” He patted your shoulder, beginning to pack his bag and recede from the bedside you sat at.

While Galina and The doctor spoke beside the bedside you were able to get out of the bed; making small movements like swinging your feet back and forth, moving your head side to side.

The dizziness and illness you felt were gone.

Your mood elevated greatly you got up to walk out onto the balcony.

Passing the ornate gateway you looked over the edge of the balcony railing hitting your waistline.

The sun was still strong over the mountain but you could look down and see the misty clouds of the rocky formations below.

A part of you wished you had an anemo vision just so you could experience flying above the tall mountains and weaving through the heavy clouds underneath you.

“Oh no my lady, Not again” Galina rushed beside you grabbing you gently by the hip “You are not the Anemo archon nor have an Anemo vision” She guided you back into your room.

“Besides now that you feel a bit better It's time for me to wash you up and make sure you look presentable” Galina took you towards the open bathroom door.

-

Seated in the middle of the table was a first for you; looking across you could see the seat you usually sat at for when dinner was served.

You never guessed it was where Pantalone would sit.

“My lady don't forget to drink your water” Fedor reminded you once again from the opposite side of the large dining hall.

He stood against one of the dark wood panels, one of the various chandeliers above his head illuminating his tall figure above you.

“I will!” You grabbed your glass from across the table, letting the cold water brush past your lips.

Normally dinner would be served by now, but with Galina spilling the news you needed to eat more might have delayed the normally fast dinner.

“Fedor,” you asked

The man only stood at attention.

“Do you know why the delay with the food?”

“Not to seem picky Im just famished” you added quickly.

“I can inform the chefs to hurry if the speed displeases you, My lady” 

“But I will add tonight Pantalone requested a special Dinner for tonight” Fedor was about to exit through the one steep stone entranceway on the right side of where he stood.

“No, it's alright! I was just wondering” but to no avail, your words weren't heard as Fedor walked through the entranceway leading to the kitchen area.

you continued to sip your water in silence.

It was just you and the long brown ornate table decorated with small paper flowers of various colors on top of the red table runner.

Pantalone was still busy when you and Galina tried to find him earlier.

You were dressed now in a loose maxi gown, your bare feet exposed, preferring to roam without any shoes, your hair still in its braid from earlier but more put together. Lilac and dark grey were the colors of the dress, admiring the long flowing sleeves next to you.

Hearing the distant sound of metal and plates hitting you perked up at the familiar sound of your food arriving.

Quickly you heard the footsteps fill the room with the many fatui chefs you'd become familiar with as you've stayed here in the home. 

Eyeing the meal before you it seemed to be a fancier spread, most likely since Pantalone and his expensive taste was going to attend dinner tonight. 

You had to admit now that you had the medicine you didn't realize you had been feeling physically miserable until now.

Waiting for your plate to be set in front of you, your mind filled with hunger as you eyed the crystal shrimp and crab roe tofu towards the center of the table.

However, you got a sneak attack for the first time in forever.

You weren't aware Pantalone even knew how to make his footsteps that quiet.

Lightly grazing the apple of your cheek with a pinch and kiss before he walked gracefully to the table his black robe flowing behind. finally reaching the other end of the table just as the servants began serving the plates for this evening's dinner.

“How did your checkup go Princess” he sat gracefully in front of you, reminding you of his status in the estate, his amethyst eyes watching you.

”I'm using too much of my energy; He gave me this wonderous shot and I feel like myself again” You smiled towards him, “I didn't realize most of my moodiness was because of the lack of energy”

”Well I'm relieved you're beginning to brighten up my lotus” 

your thoughts were interrupted when you saw your plate sitting in front of you, the food steaming indicating it was hot and fresh, you began to eagerly eat, you think you even rivaled Yelan with how much food you were shoveling into your mouth.

“Lián!”

Stopping immediately you looked up to see Galina in the doorframe bedside the entrance closest to Pantalone.

”You can't be eating like you're uncivilized just because your beloved is here” she scolded you once more.

“Oh she’s fine Galina, it’s not as if there's any company here that requires it” He waved his glove before lifting his chopsticks to his mouth.

despite Pantalone’s approval you only decided to slowly pick each crystal shrimp slower than the last, as you diligently picked each one off your plate.

”Pantalone”

his eyebrows quirked up as glanced up from his bowl of rice.

”I-“

you breathed out.

”I'm sorry about earlier” Looking down at your plate you weren't brave enough to look back at him.

”your right, I should try something new in my life, after all, it’s not like any of us are getting younger” You fluttered your lashes.

”is that why you were searching for me earlier Lián?” He set his chopsticks down, a deep rich laugh escaping his lips, “you do not have to apologize to me, it should be me apologizing to you”

Looking up you were met with his harsh amethyst hues focused on your face.

”no really, I felt like I hurt you and I love you, Pantalone”

Fedor and Galina looked at each other in surprise from beside Pantalone’s grand chair.

Pantalone however only clasped his hands together before resting them on the table. closing his eyes he sighed to himself.

”To me, actions mean more than words darling” he cleared his throat, “anyone can just utter an apology” Pantalone then reached for the glass of green tea beside him, picking up the white and blue teacup as if he was going to drink it.

The steam from the tea was still billowing, not bothering to blow it.

Only, when it was going to reach his lips, at the same moment a servant was walking away. Right when her long blouse was flowing past him you watch a dark glint in his eyes before he tossed the small teacup at the woman.

The scream was gut-wrenching to hear, you stared with wide eyes as the side of her face was now scalded and red from the sweet liquid dripping down her injury.

You instinctively scooted out of your chair to go and help the poor girl, only for you to be quickly sat back down by Fedor who was the closest to you, blocking you from going to render care.

Feeling your stomach dropped you watched as she ran off towards the hallway leading back to the kitchen.

Pantalone only sat there unbothered, this time innocently picking at the remaining few pieces of meat on his plate.

”Sorry” he only monotonously said, continuing to finish his meal for the evening.

”I have said an apology but that doesn't mean I undid my actions”

Deciding now was a good time you only sat yourself silently back into your chair.

’So, what can I do to show you then?” Trying your best to not quiver.

”I promise I do want to try Pantalone” 

The hesitation before he said anything else was making you uneasy. Now halting from eating anymore from your plate.

he held a finger to his chin, but you knew it was an act from his body language, after tapping his finger to his chin he finally spoke.

"Why don't we.. go to Snezhnaya together?”

”let’s consider this our last dinner here in Liyue for a while” he smiled gingerly, “you’ll do it for me won't you my lotus?”

”you did say you love me” He softly grinned.

Note: Btw my request are open! After August I wont do any until October (shh I haven’t made a request page for genshin stuff but shoot me a ask if you want lol)

[beaulesbian]

I was only today years old when I realized that Trafalgar Law's names are probably references to two battles that led in our real life history to a certain emperor (Napoleon)'s defeat.

*arrives 10 years late with a meta post because of a realization*

uhh Dressrosa spoilers, I guess.

Trafalgar and Waterloo... Water Law.

In One Piece world that emperor being Doflamingo, who suffered two major loses thanks to Law's existence:

First being cca 13 years ago from the main storyline - at the Minion Island where Corazon managed to get the Op-op devil fruit for Law and saving his life from Doflamingo. On that island, Doflamingo lost both Corazon and the devil fruit he wanted to much to get his hands on, as well as Law, someone who he wanted to use as the sacrifice to get the immortality via the devil fruit's powers.

Tbh I haven't really heard about the Trafalgar battle before today. When I first heard about Trafalgar Law as character while I started to read One Piece only cca 5 months ago, I only thought "huh, isn't that a square in England, I was there on a trip once" but didn't look more into it now.

So I just skimmed throught the wiki pages of those battles, I don't know all the details, I don't want to compare it too much, but some maybe similarities/parallels that piqued my interest:

The Battle of Trafalgar were the spanish-france forces against english navy, and Donquixote/Dressrosa arc including all those spanish themes, as well as Law being from the North Blue (where Sanji and Mont Blanc Noland are/were also from) being a bit influenced by France, plays interesting role when this happened in North Blue as a prelude to what would 13 years later happen in Dressrosa (the birdcage, Doflamingo's rule, the puppets, etc).

This part of the Trafalgar battle describing the british was at first outnumbered, that the spanish had more ships along with one of their biggest one:

reminded me of how Corazon himself faced with the whole Donquixote family, including Doflamingo:

and some more interesting similarities how the "hero" of the battle died even before it ended:

but thanks to his informations, the Navy later arrived, and Law got away.

(even on the wiki of the Trafalgar battle there were mentions of some false informations, previous pursuits of the ships and admirals etc, so that vibe kind of fits.)

I haven't read much about the Waterloo battle, except how known it is for being the final defeat of Napoleon, by Coalition armies - which would nicely parallel to Law and Luffy starting their own Alliance during Dressrosa, and thanks to that it caused for Luffy to be there to beat Doflamingo once and for all.

Some other small details I noticed:

The Don Quixote book was apparently first published in two parts, one in 1605 and the other in 1615.

The battle of Trafalgar happened in 1805, and the battle of Waterloo in 1815.

I found one person even connecting the date when was published the chapter of Doflamingo's deafeat in Dressrosa - 18th of June, 2015, which is the same date only 200 years later after Napoleon's defeat at Waterloo.

I love that in some sense both battles have in common water, and for the One Piece world that is connected with pirates and ships - with the historical aspects the battle of Trafalgar being a naval battle, and Waterloo for the Water in Trafalgar D. Water Law - he concealed his full name from Doflamingo for all those years, his secret name as well as the will of the Ds. - for our world a possible reference if one looks more that he really was meant to be Doflamingo's downfall.

There's just something beautiful about Law's whole existence to be a sort of a foretelling of the fall of one of the emperors of the sea, just by having these names. And it's not just the names of his, but the parallels to the situations and results of the incidents taking place at those locations.

It's literally a middle finger to Doflamingo:

[deathbystero]

'cause we're just kids who grew up way too fast

in which Ponyboy struggles to come to terms with everything. a/n - here's the full chapter y'all. lemme know if it's worth carrying on with and if you have any ideas on what I can do to extend the plot, feel free to request or give me some ideas

It’s only been a few weeks since that night—coming on three, to be exact. I don’t think things will ever go back to how they were; how could they? With Johnny and Dallas gone, everything feels off-kilter in some way. Like a loose thread just waiting to be pulled, ready to fall away and leave nothing but a gaping hole in its place. 

Home doesn’t feel like home anymore. Not really—not in the same way it was before. Things are a lot quieter. A lot emptier. I don’t think Darry minds all that much; an empty house is a peaceful house, even under all the unsettling tension. 

The gang feels a lot closer now, too. I suppose that’s one good thing about all of this, but nobody is quite themselves anymore. There isn’t as much energy in the air; there aren’t many laughs around anymore, and nobody smiles as often as they used to. It's like everyone is carrying around a weighty cloud on their shoulders, or maybe they’re just trying to keep their minds busy with something else. But we never talk about those days anymore; no one does. The topic makes us uncomfortable, like a wound that can never be healed. 

Maybe it’s just me who can’t get used to living without them. 

The nightmares still come every once in a while, more now than they used to. Sometimes they’re pretty bad—Johnny and Dallas making frequent appearances, their faces blurred, their voices distorted. Sometimes, I realise that I’m starting to forget the little things about them: the way Johnny would tilt his head a little to the left (or maybe it was to the right) when he was talking; the way Dallas would bite his lip when concentrating hard on something, even if he didn't seem to notice himself doing it. Everything seems to be slipping through my fingers faster than I can grasp, trying desperately to hold onto the memories, begging them not to fade away into the background. 

Maybe that’s why they haunt me so often: because I'm afraid—afraid that someday I won't remember them at all. 

Darry slept on the floor in my bedroom for a little while after that night, too scared to leave me alone after everything. He’s been doing that a lot lately, constantly checking up on me, even when I'm only in the next room over. Sodapop says it's because he's scared I’ll disappear again, which is ridiculous; I’ve got nowhere to run to, and even if I did, I doubt I’d want to anyway. Without Johnny to keep me company, I might as well be right here in Tulsa forever. 

There was never anything in the papers about Johnny and Dallas—at least not anything good. They don’t write editorials for “murderers” and hoodlums. Nobody would read them anyway. It would be a waste of ink, a waste of print, and a waste of paper. It’d just be another story about another couple of kids from the east side who wound up dead. No one would care. No one would even know what happened to them, not until somebody started asking questions, and even then, the truth would be twisted. Nobody knows what happened. Nobody but me. They can try to understand, just like Sodapop, Two-Bit,  Steve, and Darry have tried, but they won’t ever see it the same. Not like I do. 

For a long time after the incident, I tried convincing myself that Johnny wasn’t dead. He couldn’t be; you don’t just lose your closest buddy in one night. That doesn’t just happen. And yet, it had happened to me. 

To be truthful, I still don’t really believe that Johnny is dead. It’s stupid, irrational, and childish, but I can’t help but cling to that notion like my life depends on it. Maybe I'm losing it a bit, growing a little delusional. Darry seems to think so. Not a day goes by where he isn't telling me to “get my damn head out of the clouds” or to “get my act together."

I’m trying, really, I am, but sometimes it gets hard. The truth hurts too much. So I decided it was better to just pretend that it hadn’t happened. Pretend the entire mess never went down. That’s easier than confronting reality, even though I know there are some aspects of Johnny and Dallas’ deaths that are very, very real. Too real to be ignored. And it’s not like I can ignore it, can I? It’s part of me—a piece of me—a piece of my memory that I can never fully forget. I’ll just have to live with it.

That’s easier said than done, though.

[parkjayist]

ESSENCE OF ROMANCE: THAT OLD FEELING - CHPT. 2

sum park jongseong is in denial, but the truth is undeniable: he's hit a dead end. how can he maintain his title as a world renowned chemist if he can't even advance his own research? meanwhile, you, an aspiring chemist, have faced constant belittlement from your male colleagues as you pursue your own groundbreaking research in isolation. when jongseong finds you conducting experiments in HIS own lab, he's enraged. he's enveloped in fury when he realizes that you two are trying to research the same topic. yet, buried beneath his rage lies a deep sense of desperation, and he's willing to do anything to finally finish his research he's been putting off for so many years. perhaps you're the missing piece in his research (and life).

pairing chemist!park jongseong x female chemist!reader

genre written series, slowburn, angst, fluff, " enemies " to lovers, coworkers au, 1960s au, smarty pants x smarty pants

warnings mentions of past trauma, swearing, gender stereotypes(misogyny), more arguing!!!

an FINALLY this is starting to go somewhere!! i actually enjoyed writing this chapter, ty for all your support so far.. it really means a lot! btw i forgot to add this to the first chapter, but here's a music PLAYLIST you can listen to while reading this series... enjoy!

wc 2k SERIES MASTERLIST

as the days passed, jongseong's encounter with you faded into the background of his mind. he was preoccupied with his own work, determined to make progress in his research despite the setbacks he faced. but like always, he never made any significant progress – deep down, there was a burdening feeling of guilt and embarrassment for the way he had treated you.

meanwhile, you were focused in your own experiments on abiogenesis, delving deeper into the mysteries of life's origins. the incident with Jongseong lingered in the back of your mind, a faint annoyance that you pushed aside to focus on your work.

it was another late night in the lab for you, the hum of equipment and the soft glow of the overhead lights providing a sense of comfort in the otherwise empty space. you were in the midst of cleaning up after a long day of experiments when the door creaked open, and he stepped inside. the atmosphere in the lab was tense as jongseong cautiously approached you, his footsteps echoing in the quiet space. you could feel the weight of his presence as he drew nearer, and you resisted the urge to look up, keeping your gaze fixed on the task at hand.

"i'm sorry," his voice broke the silence, tentative yet filled with sincerity. "i've been thinking about what happened, and i realize i was out of line. i thought maybe we could put it behind us and...maybe even be friends."

your grip tightened on the beaker in your hand, the glass feeling fragile and delicate beneath your fingers. if you pressed any harder, it would definitely shatter into pieces. friends? the word echoed in your mind, bitter and mocking. after everything that had transpired between you, how could he even suggest such a thing?

you turned away from him, your jaw clenched in frustration as you continued to busy yourself with cleaning up the lab benches. "friends?" you scoffed bitterly, unable to keep the edge of contempt out of your voice. "after you accused me of trying to steal your research in front of everyone? you've got a funny way of making friends."

jongseong winced at your words, his expression pained as he struggled to find the right response. "no, it wasn't like that," he protested weakly, but you weren't finished.

"are you taking me for a fool?" you spat, your voice trembling with restrained fury. you started to feel lightheaded from all the anger you were trying to contain within yourself. "you waltz in here with your half-hearted apology, expecting me to forget the humiliation i endured? if we were to work together, do you honestly believe it would be an equal partnership? no– you would take all the credit, leaving me to toil in obscurity as the ‘lowly lab technician’. don't delude yourself into thinking the world would acknowledge a woman's contribution in a man's domain. you’re not stupid. you know that's not how reality operates."

jongseong's brows furrowed in frustration, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. you were just as intelligent as any other chemist, probably even more, and this was an opportunity to showcase to those people who doubted you. he hated this. he hated having to argue about this. because he knows you’re right. the world is a cruel place – and he wishes it wasn’t that way. but he’s so desperate that he can’t back down now. 

 "but we can show them that it's possible," he insisted, his voice pleading. "you can be my co-publisher, we can share the credit."

your laugh was bitter and mirthless as you scoffed at his words. "co-publisher? what does that even mean? people will still think i seduced you, or gave you money, or had an affair with you. none of which is true. the title of co-publisher doesn’t matter in this case, i'll forever be seen as the woman who rode your coattails."

the tension in the room was palpable, thickening with every passing moment as you stood face to face with jongseong, the air crackling with unspoken resentment and bitterness. you searched for any emotions in his face, the only ones you could detect was defeat. you should’ve felt triumphant that you “won” against him, you convinced him of your own beliefs. but honestly, you were disappointed. disappointed that he didn’t fight harder. but of course, what were you expecting? it’s not like you guys are friends anyway.

"if you have nothing else to say, i'm going to go now. good night dr. park." you said coldly, turning away from him, but before you could leave, jongseong reached out and grabbed your wrist.

shit. nonononono – 

your heart hammered against your ribcage like a prisoner demanding release as jongseong's hand closed around your wrist, his touch igniting a firestorm of emotions within you. panic surged through your veins, a chilling reminder of past traumas that left you breathless and trembling. with a sharp inhale, you recoiled instinctively, your body tensing as if preparing for a fight. every nerve in your body screamed in protest, urging you to break free from his grasp, to flee from the danger that his touch represented. 

"d.. don't touch me," you stammered, your voice barely a whisper as you struggled to regain control of your trembling limbs. the words escaped your lips in a breathless rush, choked with a mixture of fear and anger.

with a surge of adrenaline, you summoned every ounce of strength you possessed and pushed him away with a force that surprised even yourself … the air crackled with tension as jongseong stumbled backward, his expression a mixture of shock and remorse. for a moment, time seemed to stand still as you stared at each other, caught in the throes of a silent struggle.

of course – you let the weight of your past experiences bear down on you like an oppressive burden. memories of previous encounters flooded your mind, each one a painful reminder of the trust betrayed and the wounds left unhealed. you couldn't bring yourself to meet jongseong's gaze, the fear of rejection and disappointment eating at your insides. you knew that if you dared to look into his eyes at that moment, you would see the disdain reflected back at you, a silent condemnation of your insecurities and vulnerabilities. the thought of jongseong turning away from you, of seeing the disappointment etched into his features, was far too much to bear. 

jongseong's eyes widened in alarm at the tremor in your voice, his own features contorting with worry. "i'm sorry," he murmured, his tone heavy with regret. "i didn't mean to scare you. i just... i wanted to talk."

"i'm fine," you forced out, your voice strained and unsteady as you struggled to regain your composure. no, clearly you were not fine. beneath your ‘brave’ facade, your shaky voice betrayed the fear that still lingered beneath the surface. “i… i should get going. i’m telling you this now – no. i’m not working with you.”

with that, you slowly turned and walked away, leaving jongseong standing alone in the empty lab.

"please consider it!" jongseong's voice called out from behind, his tone desperate and sincere.

with a heavy sigh, you turned back to face him, your eyes meeting his in a silent exchange of uncertainty and longing. for a fleeting moment, you allowed yourself to be drawn in by the warmth of his gaze, the sincerity in his eyes melting away the barriers you had built around your heart. but just as quickly as it had come, the moment passed, replaced by a surge of determination and self-preservation. with a firm nod, you tore your gaze away from his, steeling yourself against the pull of his sincerity.

curse him for his good looks, a voice in your head said.

"i'll think about it," you replied, your voice tinged with a hint of hesitation. you turned on your heel and walked away again, each step carrying you further from jongseong and the strange emotions he stirred within you.

back at home, you reclined on your bed, gazing upward as your mind churned with a flurry of conflicting thoughts and emotions. jongseong's proposition lingered in your thoughts like a persistent melody, stirring a quiet curiosity within you. despite the lingering frustration from your encounter, a subtle flicker of interest danced at the edges of your consciousness. however, mingling with that delicate spark was a cautious wariness, a quiet voice of doubt echoing in the recesses of your mind. you couldn't shake the memory of jongseong's accusatory words, the sharp pang of skepticism that had pierced through your defenses. it left a lingering unease, a shadow of uncertainty casting doubt on the possibility of collaboration. as the minutes slipped away and the city outside settled into a hushed lull, you found yourself ensnared in a silent struggle, torn between the allure of partnership and the fear of vulnerability. on one hand, there was the luring prospect of joining forces with someone as driven and capable as jongseong. yet, on the other hand, there was the apprehension of being let down once more, of opening yourself up to potential disappointment. with a heavy sigh, you closed your eyes, attempting seeking solace in the quiet embrace of sleep. in the depths of your dreams, questions wandered in your mind, uncertainty wove through the fabric of your thoughts. you hoped to yourself that the repercussions of working with jongseong wouldn’t be too bad.

………… _______ 

the next morning dawned with a gentle warmth, casting soft rays of sunlight through the windows of jongseong's apartment. with a determined resolve, he rose from his bed early, the events of the previous day still fresh in his mind. determined to have at least some sort of control in his life, he laced up his running shoes and ventured out into the quiet streets, the rhythmic patter of his footsteps echoing in the stillness of the morning. 

his life philosophy was whenever something was going wrong in your life, you just kept running until all you could think about was how tired you were.

as he ran, the cool breeze brushed against his skin, invigorating him with a renewed sense of energy and purpose. with each stride, he felt the weight of his worries begin to lift, replaced by a quiet contentment for the day ahead.

upon returning to the lab, jongseong was greeted by a small yellow sticky note. he furrowed his eyebrows, irritation starting to bubble up at the thought of someone entering his lab again. however, when he read the note, its message was a beacon of hope in the sea of uncertainty that had engulfed him.

i'll do the research with you. don't make me regret it.

the messy handwriting made him chuckle a little bit, but a surge of gratitude washed over jongseong as he read the words, his spirits lifting with each passing moment. finally, he had found someone willing to join him on his journey, someone who believed in his vision and was willing to lend a helping hand. with a newfound sense of purpose, jongseong wasted no time in embracing the moment. he turned on some Chet Baker, the soothing melodies of jazz filling the air with a sense of joy and anticipation. with each beat, he allowed himself to lose control, his body flailing around like a penguin, and his head bopping so fast that it seems as if it would fall off.

outside the lab, jaeyun sim, a friend (and the only friend) of jongseong watched with amusement as the man danced with abandon, his laughter echoing through the glass door.

"what the hell is this man doing?" jaeyun muttered into the glass, his voice slightly muffled, but tinged with amusement.

--------------------------------------

tagged: @sophiko22 @minseongsworld @enha-stars