Guys when people say Spideypool you don't think Holland's Spiderman, right??? Please god tell me we're not imagining the teenage Spiderman guys cmon
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Jason’s body isn’t meant to exist in the mortal plane. His existence is an affront to reality.
It started a year or so after being revived. Jason’s body is wracked with pain as his body flickers with unearthly static, his soul rebelling against being in the wrong plane of existence. The first episode lasted only a second or two but it felt like hours.
After that night, the episodes of glitching back in and out of reality became more and more frequent. Jason tried his best to prevent any and all confrontations with his family. He didn't want to worry them that he was slowly dying. His spirit forcibly trying to go back to the afterlife when all he wanted to do was stay alive.
The episodes happen every week now and last a minute or more. Each one saps Jason of all of his energy and strength. Jason spends many days just staring, eyes unfocused towards the ceiling, and just wishing for hours on end for the pain to stop.
—
Danny first saw the boy around three years ago. A teenager with a white streak in his hair kneeling on a nonexistent surface and clutching his head. His mouth was open to yell but Danny couldn't hear his scream. The figure flickered in and out of existence like jarbled tv static for only a moment before he vanished.
Danny tried to figure out ways to locate the man but came up with nothing. He put the issue behind him as his new title of Ghost King required almost all of his available free time. For two years he has spotted the screaming man flickering in and out in the Ghost Zone. The man has been appearing more frequently now. He wears different clothes each time, sometimes wearing a strange red helmet, but his position is still the exact same: Curled in a ball, hands clutching his head, and mouth open in a silent scream. Each time he would flicker in and out of existence before vanishing back to where he originally came from.
Danny didn’t know what to do, he never saw anything like this before and felt helpless. He contacted Frostbite who couldn't find any previous examples of this happening in the Ghost Zone. Contacting Clockwork the man just smiled and told Danny that everything is happening exactly the way it should.
One episode of the screaming man changed everything. He appeared directly next to Danny. The man was without his helmet, he was dripping sweat and his eyes were glazed over in pain. Danny acted on impulse and knelt down to the man to rest a hand on his shoulder to ground him.
The second Danny touched the man’s shoulder he cried out in agony as he felt the mans pain as if it was his own. God, he’s seen this person for the past three years and did nothing as this man suffered to this extent? Through the pain, Danny promised himself that he would do everything in his power to help this man. Focusing on the man's spirit, He could feel the man’s soul pulling him back towards the mortal realm. Danny latched onto the man's soul and let it carry him to the man's physical form.
—
Jason was fully dissociating from the pure agony his body was consumed with. His skin flickering and distorting and twisting out of place, his vision filled with nauseating swirls of greens and purples. It was always the same colors, why was it always the same damn colors?!
Suddenly, the pain became a background hum. It was still excruciating but Jason had gained a frighteningly high pain tolerance over the last three years.
Jason felt something on his shoulder and noticed a figure in his house moments before the wave of exhaustion from dealing with the episode hit him like a brick: A man in extremely detailed battle armor with a long flowing cape behind him stood hunched over him, grasping his shoulder in a vice grip. Iridescent white hair flowing in a nonexistent wind and face contorted in agony as he flickered in and out of existence. The man had taken his burden.
The last thing Jason saw before his eyes closed was a glowing crown of dark energy glowing an eerie green light atop his head. Something about it radiated a sense of safety and protection.
He didn't know who this figure was but he knew that for the first time in two years, he had hope.
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Eddie, receiving an unknown call: Hello?
Peter, whispering: Come save me.
Eddie: Why? You’re literally Spider-Man?
Peter: Not while this fake dating is going on. Come save me.
Eddie: Where even are you?
Peter: Doc Ock is holding me hostage at the abandoned factory
Eddie: That’s so fucking vague. There’s like ten of those on the same street!
Peter, super rudely: Just pick the one that seems the most hostage friendly!
Eddie: Geez, what’s got ur panties in a bunch Parker.
Peter, sarcastically: Other than being held against my will?
Peter: MJ and I have movie night in an hour and this is somehow more time consuming than actually being Spider-Man.
Eddie:…
Peter: Hello? Y’there?
Eddie: The symbiote wants to to talk about your infidelity when we get you.
Peter: We aren’t actually dating!
Eddie: So you don’t need our help?
Peter: …I hate you two so much.
Venom, swinging to come get him: Love you too, Petey-kins
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The funniest thing about the Spider-man PS4 game is that Felicia never says her son is Peter's.
He just assumes???? Even though he knows Felicia be fucking a lot more men besides him?????
But he's just like 'no, its mine what am i gonna tell MJ noooo'
Homie that kid could've been Matt's for all we know, come on now
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actually i talk about math but i wanna say something on reading also
yeah a lot of people call the classics Snobby and everyone with a lit degree has taken that as a personal offense and decried it as anti-intellectualism and blah blah blah instead of actually like addressing why people might say that
but to anyone who cares im pretty sure people say that shit as a defense mechanism
The Classics as a whole can be intimidating, especially if you already struggle with reading/writing or didnt have a good education on the subject
theres decades if not centuries of people talking about these works and interpreting and argueing about them and on top of that theyre Great Works that Everyone Should Read and Everyone knows about. theres also, whether you like it or not, a nice sheen of Only Smart/Highly Educated People Can Truely Appreciate This on top
so when someone approaches one of these works for the first time it already feels like coming in late to the party
but on top of that the writing styles can be dense, the books/poems/plays lengthy. theres usually a lot of historical context thats needed to fully appreciate the story being told. and thats before you get into whatever literary/mythological illusions thatll almost certainly be inside the story itself
then they take a crack at it and its slow and confusing and boring and really time consuming but everyone else is talking about how amazing it is and what a Classic it is but because of all the reasons listed above this new reader Just Doesnt Get It and well
that makes em feel fucking stupid. they feel like an idiot
so they brush it off as pretencious and snobby because otherwise theyre just too stupid to get it
or alternatively, they push through the whole thing, dont get what the fuss is about, and assume everyone praising it is so far up their own ass theyre now a circle
the same can also be said for things like movies, art, and music
im not saying that the brushing off of The Classics or more involved books/art/movies etc is GOOD
but i think brushing it off as anti-intellectualism is just attempting to ignore the actual problem
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