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magics-neptunes-things · 2 months

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Ready, Aim, Shoot (3)

Hi guys!

I post it again, the other one just disappeared without any reason. Sorry if you already red it.

TW : Blood, creepy psychologist, panic attack, angst, depression.

PART 1 | PART 2

Blood. There is blood everywhere. The more you look, the more there is. You look at your shaking hands, cover in red. You don’t know whose blood is it though. The room you are in is only white, adding to the contrast with the blood color. Breathing quickly, you look around and that’s when you finally see her.

Alexia.

Alexia is laying in the middle of the room, her body surrounded by red too. Panicking, you kneel next to her, shaking her to try to wake her. But she doesn’t. She stays still in your hand, not moving. Not breathing. This is when you scream.

You scream so much that it wakes you up suddenly. Heavily breathing, you sit on your bed, blindly trying to find the button on your bedside lamp. You finally managed to find it, but when you put the light on, Alexia isn’t next to you in your bed.

It’s only when you left your room to look for her that you remember. She’s not here tonight, she’s sleeping in Tenerife, where she played today. Or yesterday, because it’s actually three in the morning. It’s the first time she leaves

you alone for all the night since you came back.

Alexia Is not here, but it’s your fault. You assured her that you will be ok, almost pushing her out of your flat. She made you swear to call her if you need her, no matter what time is it. She asked Mapi to come to look for you last night, so you watched the game with the blonde before she went home. You fell asleep quickly actually, you were far to imagine a wake up like that.

You should really call her; she will be disappointed with you if she learns the state of panic you are in without calling her. But you hate the idea to wake her up at this time of the night. She played yesterday, she’s coming home today. She needs to rest.

You find refuge on your couch, putting the TV on. But you can’t forget the picture of Alexia and the blood everywhere. You feel like it’s still on your body, no matter how many times you look at your hands to be sure that you don’t have a little red on you. Thirty minutes after you wake up, you decided to go take a shower.

You pass a long time under it, water burning, washing your body again and again. You ignore the scare that your accident left on your body. You hate them. No matter how many times Alexia kissed them, telling you that you are strong and even more beautiful than before.

You feel guilty as hell when you think about your girlfriend. She is amazing with you, so patient and so loving. You don’t feel like you deserve her. You don’t make any progress with your mental health and it’s disturbing. You even think about breaking up with Alexia one time, disgusting by yourself. She deserves so much more than you. But right after you had a panic attack, because how can you live without her? She’s your whole world.

You are not even strong enough to make the things right for her.

When the feeling of the hot water and the strength with which you rubbed your skin became too much to handle, you stop the water and get out of the shower. This time your skin is red, but you know why.

You pick a hoodie from Alexia and one of her old Barcelona’s short. If you can’t have your girlfriend’s arms, at least you can have her smell. And, after some hesitation, you even take her pillow to go with you to the couch of your living room. You take snack and watch some stupid things on TV while scrolling on your phone.

You are still tired, but you don’t want to take the risk to fall asleep again. You’re terrified to have this dream again. Every time the images came back in your brain, you try to hug Alexia’s pillow harder. It kind of work, but it has nothing to do with Alexia’s comfort.

You fall asleep after 8 o’clock, after your girlfriend told you that they are boarding and that she will be home soon.

You are still asleep when Alexia comes home. She smiles seeing you laying on the couch, cuddle against her pillow, in her clothes. You are watching YouTube now, from her account, and you choose the playlist where she puts all the games she finds interesting. Only putting her suitcase on the ground, she comes to sit next to you, softly stroking your hair.

“Alexia?” you mumble, opening your eyes with difficulty.

“Hi sleepy head”

Her smile is affectionate, and you get up on one elbow to rub your eyes and have a better look at her. Her hairs are down and she seems fine. She seems happy, maybe to see you? The plan was that she takes a taxi with Jana to come back home, Alexia didn’t want you to drive because some noises sometimes make you jump.

“How are you?” Alexia asks softly.

“Can I have a hug?”

She smiles and passes her arms around you to hug you. But you lay on the couch again, taking her with you on it. She giggles and you smile, forgetting for the first time your nightmare.

“I’m glad you’re here” you whisper after some minutes.

“I’m glad to be back to you too.”

You hum, turning a little to pass a lag around her knees and cuddle tighter against her. She’s stroking your back lovingly, sometimes kissing your head. You started to wonder how much mental pressure you are putting on her when she talks again.

“You remember Marta? From the media team?”

“I think I do” you answer, frowning. “Why?”

“She just left for her maternity leave, and she doesn’t know for now if she will come back.”

“Ok?”

You are still frowning when you look at your girlfriend, not understanding where she wants to go. I mean you are happy that people have baby and all. But what does it make a change for you?

It looks like Alexia’s idea was that you apply for the job. You try to escape that idea, not really happy about the idea of meeting tons of people who will know about your story and look at you with pity in their eyes. But Alexia assures you that it won’t happen, adding that you just can go for the interview without saying yes after.

Long story short, you are now sitting on your desk for your first day.

Your job is basically to find idea of activities to anime the games, a little more marketing than journalism to be honest. But it looks fun and like Alexia said before, when Marta will come back, you don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.

********

“Hi, I’d like a meeting with the new media manager?”

A voice in front of you make you raise your head, even if you recognize it immediately. Alexia is smirking at you from the door of your office, looking like she just finishes her shower. Which she probably did given the time.

“I’m sorry, but you have to talk to my assistant first, she will give you my time schedule” you smirk back.

Alexia frown slightly, closing the door behind her before coming for you.

“You have an assistant?”

You know that frown and you roll your eyes while standing up to great her like she deserves it.

“Yes, I have” you answer, letting yourself go against her when she takes you in her arms.

She hums, her lips against your hair, trying to look discreetly in the open office by the window. The gesture makes you chuckle and you raise your head to have a better look at her.

“What? I was just looking to know if you knew her, that’s all.”

“Sure, mi Amor.”

She pouts and you kiss it better, just to see the smile she has right after. You weren’t really happy to start to work again to be honest, but you have to admit that it’s a good thing for you to keep your head busy with something. Alexia was right, once again.

“Are you ready to leave? I’m taking you home.”

“I am.”

You take your stuff with you, before letting Alexia passes her arm around your waist to take you with her. You don’t know if it’s only the jealousy talking right now, but you have to admit that she is way more openly affective with you since your accident. Not that you have a problem with it, obviously. But the way her gaze is scanning the room when you left after saying goodbye to your colleagues, it makes you think that there is at least a little part of jealousy in it.

Which is totally stupid, you only see her.

“You seems happier” Alexia says cautiously over her plate that night.

You look at her for some seconds before nodding. You are, but you are scared to mention it in case that it makes your nightmares coming back.

“I am. Thanks to you” you smile softly.

“Are you really? Or are you hiding something for me like when I was away for the game to Tenerife?”

You blush and almost chock on your tomato, but you somehow are able to keep some dignity. You don’t take the time to try to deny her statement though, you know that she knows. Of course she does. She reads you like an open book. Alexia has the decency to not point anything else, waiting patiently for your answer.

“I really am better. You were right, I really needed to get out from here even if it was difficult at first. It’s great to have something to do, not that cooking for you wasn’t entertaining. But going out… It’s great.”

She nods softly, without leaving your face with her eyes. You know immediately that there is something else in her mind, but you don’t push, letting her carry the conversation.

“Do you think I was too suffocating with you? Maybe if I…”

“No!” you cut her after some seconds of incredulity. “Alexia how could you…? Are you joking? You are the reason that I’m still here and mentally good. You are the reason that I keep fighting to be fine again. I couldn’t have done it without you. I forbid you to think of anything like that.”

“I’m sorry. It’s some insecurities and I shouldn’t have told you that” she frowns again, playing with her forks and some pasta left in her plate.

“Alexia, don’t please.”

She looks at you again when you stand up, just to come sit on her lap. She welcomes you by taking you close against her with her arms. You pass your arms around your neck, one of your fingers playing with the baby hair on her neck.

“You are so perfect to me. I don’t know if I’ll be able to thank you enough one day for it. You were always right and done nothing wrong all those days. A lot of people would have abandoned, but you are still here with me.”

“I’ll never abandon you” she mumbles right into your eyes.

You can see how much she means those worlds and you have to take all your strength not to start crying like a baby. You’re pretty sure that your eyes are shining from tears but you busy yourself by stroking her cheek tenderly.

“You said one time that my come back is a miracle, do you remember? Well, you are my miracle.” you add, after she nods.

She kisses you and the way she did makes your head turned. She only let you breath for several seconds when you need air, before kissing you again with even more intensity. You had sex again after some weeks of rehab from your part, but not like you did before your departure. And it’s hard to see Alexia restrain her gestures, scared as hell to hurt you. Tonight though, you feel like that maybe it will come back.

********

It came back.

You are laying on your bed, lovingly enveloped in your girlfriend’s arms. Her skin is so soft against yours, your face hiding in her neck. You are lull by Alexia’s deep and slow breathing and you are starting to wonder if she’s falling asleep when she talks quietly.

“How are you feeling?”

“Great. Safe. Warm.”

“Perfect” Alexia sighs softly, moving a little to be more comfortable on the mattress.

You look up at her, admiring the shape of her jaw, her perfect nose, her beautiful eyes, and her so kissable lips.

“What?” she asks when she sees you staring.

“Nothing” you giggle. “You’re just so beautiful.”

She rolls her eyes before closing them, tightening you harder against her. You don’t need anything than her body to keep you warm and you love it.

“Would you be angry if I stopped working there?”

The sudden question makes her open her eyes again to look at you. She seems to be thinking for several seconds before answering.

“Of course not. Why do you want to stop anyway? Is someone nasty with you?”

“Not at all” you deny, already imagine her hunting the person who would do that to you. “I was thinking that… maybe I could finish one of my book projects?”

“You mean one of your thousand amazing scenario who are desperately waiting on your computer?”

“Exactly that” you answer, rolling your eyes.

She teases you way to much about it already.

“If it’s what you want, of course I’ll support you. But what about going out to meet people?”

You see the worried already and you answer, kissing her cheek.

“I’ll go write into a Café or something. Maybe seeing people, crowd and streets will help me to get idea.”

********

That’s exactly what you did, after finishing your job with the media. The first days, you weren’t really effective, more focused on what’s going on around you and which story you want to choose. After some debate with yourself and help asking to your mother and Alexia, you choose to mix two stories and start writing again. It made you start from the beginning, but it’s maybe better like this.

You still get to your psychiatrist to your session twice a week, always a little more scared to go without Alexia. Your psychiatrist told both of you that it could be good for you to come without your girlfriend. Alexia accepted immediately, always being interested in everything that can make you feel better.

You always have a strange feeling without Alexia’s halo, and it’s only happened when you come here. You don’t have trouble to go grocery shopping without Alexia or go to the Café to write.

It’s particularly hard to come today, you talked to Alexia by the phone before your appointment to ease your stress. She seems to realize that something is wrong, because she talks a lot about her day. She only does that to change your mind, and you love her for that.

“Hello Y/N” your therapist greats you.

You great her back and start talking about your new occupation, your activities since the last time and the travel Alexia proposed to you last night. It was something you can’t stop to think about since she mentioned it, eager to go away for some days in the sun with the woman you love.

“Don’t you think it will be too soon?” the doctor asks, only looking at her notepad.

You are taken aback. You would never have thought that she can be thinking that it’s a bad idea. She never stops to tell you to go ahead and try new things since the beginning.

“Taking a plane, going to an airport, in a place that might remind you of your trauma? What would you do if you have one of your panic attacks there?”

You don’t know what to answer to that. Alexia mentioned Canary Islands and a private hotel with a private beach, which seems far away from the Middle East.

“No, I mean… I’m going better now. And I’ll be with Ale. Everything will be ok.”

She looks at you this time, raising an eyebrow. Her look is sharp, almost mean and you have trouble swallow your saliva. You feel like a schoolgirl getting bullied by her teacher.

“Don’t you think you already lean too much on the poor girl? Maybe she suggests the holidays to have some rest, are you sure she wants you to go with her?”

You don’t really remember the end of the appointment and you don’t know how you managed to find yourself in the Barcelona’s facilities. You can’t think straight anymore, it’s like this woman knew all your insecurities and tell you that you are right to have them.

What if she’s right? What if Alexia can’t stand your presence, your toxics dreams and mental health? You already knew that you weren’t good enough for her and that she deserved better. You can’t believe that you let her makes you believe that she can love you. How can she? How can anyone?

You were turning around to go home when you hear someone call your name.

“Y/N?”

You recognize Mariona through your tears, but you can’t say anything. She doesn’t seem to mind though, carefully taking your arm in her hand.

“What are you doing here? Are you looking for Alexia?”

You try to scream at her to let Alexia alone and not to get you to her, but you can’t. When you don’t say a word, Mariona decides to take you to Alexia. Luckily the Majorcan woman came late today and she knows exactly where to find your girlfriend.

You let Mariona drags you around, hearing her soothing voice without being able to understand what she’s saying. Sweets, encouraging words, for sur. You can’t figure out really what happens next, but after several minutes of walk, you hear Mariona calling your girlfriend’s name. And more seconds after, you are surrounded by her arms, her perfume, everything that is her.

Everything that you don’t deserve.

When Alexia realizes that she’s facing a wall and that you won’t say a word, she takes you home. You are like anesthetized at this point, letting her do what she wants with you. When you are laying on the bed you retake some reality and stare at Alexia who seems to be choosing clothes to put on you after taking a shower.

“I’m breaking up with you.”

The words were lifeless, but you see Alexia froze. She turns in your direction, with eyes wide and the most chocked face ever.

“What?”

“I’m breaking up with you” you repeat, looking at her straight in her eyes.

A silence pass and you see Alexia watching at you, probably waiting for you to say something else. Maybe to explain yourself, but you don’t say another word. Plus, the reasons are obvious, no?

“Are you- don’t you love me anymore?”

She seems broken. That doesn’t make any sense, she is supposed to be relieved, not sad. You don’t understand her reaction, so you shrug before answering.

“That’s not the point, Alexia. You are free. I’m giving you your liberty back.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Are you drunk? Did someone give you something to you?”

She seems angry now, almost shouting with her eyebrows frown. You frown too, because why the hell won’t she understand? You sit in the bed while she’s still standing in front of you.

“No! I just… Why won’t you…”

Why is your brain suddenly transformed in pudding?

You look at Alexia when she comes to you and takes your face between her hands. She does it with so much care that you want to cry again.

“Why don’t you let me break up with you?” you whisper.

“Because I love you. I told you; I’ll fight for us every day if I have to.”

There we are, you are crying again. But this time Alexia is here, she can take you against her, rock you will you cry and whispers sweets nothing in your ears. She waits for your sobbing to stop, holding you tightly. Only when you can breathe normally again, she speaks.

“What happened?” she asks softly.

You don’t know really where to start, so you just shake your head without answering anything. But she waits, again and again. So, after some minutes, you talk too.

“I just want you to be happy. I know you’ll be happier without me.”

“You are wrong.”

Her voice is gentle, but as the same time strong enough to let you know that you don’t have to try to deny it. It’s her truth and that’s enough.

“Well you need to take some time apart from me so it’s not –“

“Where the hell does that idea comes from?”

She’s lost. You were good when you end up your call some hours later. And then you appeared crying during her training, only to say her when you come home that you want to break up with her. But you frown again, lost too. And tired, to be honest.

“My therapist said that I’m leaning on you too much. And that’s way you wanted to go on holidays without me.”

You explain that like it’s the more logical thing in the world, but for Alexia it doesn’t make any sense. She starts to understand where it comes from however, even if she doesn’t understand why.

“I’m not going anywhere without you, what the point to have holidays if you’re not with me?” she answers, looking right into your eyes. “Did your therapist say other things?”

You nod and start to explain everything happened and everything she told you. The more you talk, the more Alexia seems to be furious. Her jaw is clenched, her eyes are literally throwing lightning and she so tense that you are really concerned that she can have a cramp somewhere. But when she talks to you again, her voice is infinitely soft.

“Nothing of that is true. I love you. I will do everything to help you to make you feel better. I’m not going to give up on you, Y/N. I’m not going to give up on us.”

You look at her, almost desperately. But she has the same gaze that she has when says things like this. Her eyes are soft, caring and so loving that you can’t do otherwise than believe her.

“I don’t feel like I’m better, Ale” you whisper. “I don’t think I will be one day.”

“You are. You are working, you are getting out, you are smiling again. It’s ok to have bad days, like everyone else. Yours are a little more complicated because you had to go through horrible things. But you have the right to not feel good or needing help a little more some days. And what she said was wrong.”

You are lost, honestly. Alexia can see that you are coming back at yourself again though. Like if you are waking up. You seem always a little desperate and she takes you carefully against her. You let her, sighing of relief when you find the comfort of her arms.

“What if she’s right and you haven’t realized for now?”

“She’s wrong. And she will know it.”

You don’t question what she was implying, too tired to realize what her words may imply. You let Alexia taking you in a bath and more generally taking care of you. You look at her through the mirror when she does your hair.

“When I get better, it will be me who will take care of you” you inform her.

She smiles and finish to undo a knot in your hair before answering, looking at you through the mirror too.

“Okay Cariño.”

She’s smiling but doesn’t seem to make fun of you. You relax, letting your shoulder go down a little bit. That’s mean that she really believes that you will be better.

********

Alexia keeps her promise, going to your therapist’s office in the early hours to talk to her. You don’t know what she told her, but now you don’t have to go to your appointments, and you even have a new psychiatrist, advised by someone from Alexia’s staff.

Rumor has it that Alexia’s shouts still resonate in the psychiatrist’s office.

You don’t know if it’s your breakdown of the change of therapist, but some days after this episode, you feel better than ever. You wake up with your head and your body feeling lighter and Alexia is surprised to see you coming in the kitchen when she’s taking her breakfast. Usually, you stay way longer in bed.

“Is everything alright?” she asks nervously.

You nod, rubbing your eyes before coming behind her to pass your arms around her waist.

“Just wanted to be with you a little bit before you leave.”

Alexia hums when you kiss her neck. You can feel a gaze studying you while you are making yourself coffee, before coming to sit next to her.

“Are you sure that you’re ok Cari?” she asks, almost shyly while you stole a strawberry from her bowl.

“I’m sure baby” you smile at her.

Alexia is looking at you suspiciously during several seconds. She red things about people being “high” before getting down and of course she is scared. But you seem really good today and she can’t help but smile when you kiss her cheek.

“Uhu” she said, taping her lips with expectation.

You giggle but kiss her anyway, smiling against her lips. You are still smiling when she strokes your cheek with her fingertips and when she puts her forehead against yours.

“I love you so much” she whispers before kissing you again.

“I love you more” you smiles.

Alexia makes no with her head and put a finger on your mouth when you want to talk again.

“Would you like to come with me to training today?”

You hesitate for several seconds before answering. It’s been a while since you came to see Alexia in training. You can’t remember who you saw some days before, only Mariona. But you hope that they weren’t a lot.

“You can say no if you don’t want to.” Alexia adds after seeing you hesitate.

“No, I want to come. But… Who were here, the other day? You know…”

“Only Mariona. And I’m sure that she doesn’t say anything to anyone.”

You are relieved to learn that, even if you don’t know how Alexia can know.

“Did you treat her?” you smirk.

“No” Alexia laughs. “I know the girl, she’s one of the most loyal, sweet and discreet that I’ve never met.”

She was right. Mariona didn’t told anyone about what happened and after several minutes you realize that Alexia was right once again. You hug the Mallorcan woman a little longer than Alexia’s other teammates when you met them, silently thanking her. She seems to understand because she smiles at you before taping your cheek affectionately.

And today, as you watch Alexia training and laughing on the pitch with the teammates that she considered like her family, you’re starting to have hope again. Alexia was right every time, so maybe she will be right this time again. You will be better.

#woso imagine #woso x reader #woso fanfics #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas

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spencersssockss · 5 months

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Library

Summary: You meet Spencer at the library when going to check out The Fisher King…

Warnings: none!!!

Word count: 700

Ally: This is based loosely off the fisher king episode kinda but not really, sorry about the length!! I plan on having a second part to this one soon!!! Enjoy lovelies!

You loved reading, any free time you had was spent reading, and it served as a distraction.

Your friend had been telling you about a book she had recently heard of, it was called The Fisher King, you did a tremendous amount of research on it only to find out the only possible way to read it would be to get it from your local library as it was no longer being sold due to its old age and rarity.

You decided to visit the library after work to pick it up, luckily someone had just returned it, and just as you were checking out a nerdy, tall, and lanky man walked towards the front desk next to you.

“Do you mind if I read that book in your hand before you leave?” “it'll only take like ten minutes,” he quickly said eyes bright as he bounced his foot nervously.

“Ten minutes?” you questioned cocking an eyebrow.

Spencer bit his cheek for a second before replying, “I have an eidetic memory, and can read 20,000 words per minute, I know it sounds crazy but just trust me, it's really important,” he mumbled quickly.

“I-uh okay,” you stuttered handing him the book.

Taking the book in his hands, Spencer carefully flipped through it, fingers running over every page as he read, his eyes glancing over the words quickly, taking in every detail. After what seemed like only a few seconds, he closed the book and handed it back to you with a small smile.

“There's no way you read that all,” you blurted eyes widening.

“I promise, I did. My name's Spencer Reid by the way,” he said extending his hand for you to shake.

you shook it hesitantly still in disbelief.

With a smile, Spencer continued, “I'm a psychologist and criminal profiler for the FBI, always on the lookout for new books to read, this time it was actually for a case.”

You gasped in realization, you remembered before you graduated he had done a lecture at your college. “I've seen you before, you do lectures right?” you asked.

Spencer's cheeks reddened slightly, and he nodded. "Yeah, I've given several lectures on various topics, mostly about the human mind and behavior."

“You're one of the reasons I became a counselor,” you smiled.

Spencer smiled warmly, "That's amazing. I'm glad to have played a small part in your journey." He glanced around the library, trying to think of something else to say. "Would you like to get coffee or something sometime?”

“Absolutely, do you want my number?” you asked breaking into a smile.

"I'd love your number," Spencer replied, pulling out his phone. He tapped on the screen a few times before handing it over to you. "Here, add your number, sorry for not asking your name earlier, if you don't mind me asking now what is it?” he blushed slightly.

“it's y/n,” you smiled putting in your number and handing his phone back to him.

"Thank you, Y/N," Spencer said, pocketing his phone. He couldn't help but feel a bit flustered at the interaction. It was rare for him to meet someone who understood and appreciated his work so deeply. "Well, I should probably get back to my research now.”

“Yeah, sorry for keeping you so long,” you blushed holding the book against your chest.

"It's quite alright," Spencer reassured you with a gentle smile. "I hope we can catch up again soon, maybe over that coffee or even another book." He waved goodbye before disappearing into the stacks of the library.

You stood there for a moment still in disbelief at what had just happened, the librarian laughed before saying, “he's a cutie isn't he?”

You blushed deeply turning to face her to answer, “Just a little,” you mumbled making her laugh again.

“He works for the FBI actually,” she added laughing again as your eyes widened.

“Good to know,” you smiled waving at her as you left the library and headed home to read the book. Which would probably take YOU a lot longer than ten minutes.

#criminal minds x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x you #spencerreidssockss #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine

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makeitmingi · 2 months

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The Cat and Dog Game [Chapter 39]

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: Yunho x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Chef!Reader, RestaurantOwner!Yunho, MaitreD!Hongjoong, Waiter!Yeosang, Waiter!San, Waiter!Mingi, SousChef!Seonghwa, SousChef!Wooyoung, PrepChef!Jongho

Summary: Yunho's dream was to open and run his own restaurant. But he doesn't know anything when it comes to cooking. Until you came along and accepted the job, bringing with you a small crew. How will the black cat tame the energetic golden retriever?

Word count: 3.3K

Chapter warning(s): There are some possible triggers in this chapter. Mentions of a bad past, depression, anxiety, self harm, mental health instability, therapy sessions with a psychologist. Please read at your own discretion.

"And you're good to go." The nurse handed you the kitten's medications. You hummed and went through it before scanning the receipt and paying for everything. It was a hefty bill, as expected of vet visits.

"We're all set. Let's go." You and Yunho went to the car, he opened the door for you to enter. But he didn't start the car, you just sat in the passenger seat with the kitten in your lap.

"So what do we do?" Yunho asked. You threw your head back against the seat.

"I don't know, Yunho. What should I do?" You turned to him. He reached over to scratch the underneath of the kitten's chin.

"Whatever you decide to do, I'll support you to the best that I can, okay?" Yunho smiled, reaching up to hold your hand. You chewed on your bottom lip, thinking about your options.

"Knowing how black cats are stigmatised in a shelter, he's not going to get adopted and the way that they're overcrowded..." You sighed sadly.

"I know, you won't be able to leave the little guy alone. If you decide to keep him, we'll take turns taking care of him." Yunho chuckled.

"Really? You'll do that? Okay, I'll keep him with me. If I put him in a shelter, I'll go crazy thinking about him. He's already been abandoned once, he needs a good home and people who will take care of him." You smiled. Yunho nodded his head, reaching over to cup your cheeks and give you a kiss.

"Alright. That means you're officially a cat mom to this little one right here." Yunho giggled.

"Means you're a cat dad." You replied. Yunho's eyes widened at your words then softened, the kitten was really going to be like your first child and it warmed his heart.

"Tomorrow, we should go get him some actual things since he's going to stay permanently." Yunho suggested and you nodded.

"All that's left is to give him a name." You said.

"You're terrible with names though. Look at what you named your stuffed golden retriever and stuffed manatee." Yunho laughed and you glared at him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Yuyu and Yunnie are great names!" You scoffed.

"They're basically variations of my name. That's not very creative." Yunho pointed out. You rolled your eyes, deciding to just ignore his insults. The kitten playfully pawed at the buttons of your shirt and you held him away.

"Don't do that." You scolded lightly, clicking your tongue. He just let out a loud meow in defiance. You and Yunho burst out laughing at how cute he was.

"Let's go back to mine to chill for a bit, drop the kitten off then go in for dinner shift." You said.

"Alright. He's probably tired for all his jabs too. They're usually like that." Yunho nodded and went back to your house.

"Here you go. All nice and comfy, have a nice sleep." You placed the kitten in the crate, amongst the blankets, but left the gate open since you and Yunho were around.

"So..." You handed Yunho a cup of cold brew coffee as you sat on the couch with him.

"You worried me this morning when you didn't show up." Yunho stroked your cheek with his thumb.

"I know... I'm sorry, I should have told you but I didn't know how to. I've been stressing over this for a while, wondering how I'm going to tell you this. It's nothing against you, it's me, I just... I don't know." You sighed, burying your face in your hands. Yunho gently pulled your hands away, kissing your forehead.

"Don't worry, take your time. Just tell me whatever you want to." He said, bringing your thighs over his lap and wrapped an arm around your waist to hold you.

"Remember when we visited my mother... I said I'll tell you more about my life after my mother died? How I barely survived."

"Yeah. I remember." Yunho nodded. You sighed and leaned against his chest, trying to collect your thoughts.

"When I got older, I became that typical brooding kid. I wanted to see if my father still cared about me so I acted out, I did a lot of things, didn't come home, mixed with the wrong crowd..." You started.

"But he was too distracted by my stepmother to care that I didn't even come home." You scoffed.

"What about Seonghwa?" Yunho asked.

"He was the only one that cared, he wanted to go to the police multiple times but I would always contact me and assure him that I'm safe. But soon, I just... distanced myself. I liked the life outside, it helped me feel numb." You chuckled bitterly.

"I wasn't proud of it, the things I did. I thought those people actually cared about me. They made me feel loved, like I belong to something." You said, tears forming in your eyes.

"Baby..." Yunho grabbed a tissue and gently wiped your tears away from your cheeks.

"I was going crazy, Yun. I was killing myself and my father didn't give a damn about me!" You squeezed your eyes shut.

"Shh, shh. Okay, you don't have to go further." Yunho wrapped both arms around you, bringing you onto his lap and hugging you tightly. He hushed you softly.

"N-No, I have to. I need to tell you the truth." You shook your head.

"I hurt Hwa the most. I pushed away the only person that's ever loved me and cared about me." You cried.

"He knows you didn't mean it. I'm sure you didn't mean it too. Sometimes when we're hurting, we also end up hurting the ones that are the closest to us." Yunho stroked your head.

"Seonghwa and his parents were the only ones that helped me. Seonghwa got me out of that whole situation, made me leave that life and checked me into an institution. He got me the help I need and has been with me through everything, every step of my life. I owe him my life." You said.

"You were institutionalised?" Yunho blinked.

"He didn't force me. Seonghwa and I spoke, I agreed that it was the only way for me to be functioning again. If it's not for her, I would be dead by now." You said.

"It was the right choice then. I'm glad you got the help you need (y/n)." He held your hand.

"That's why I hesitated to tell you all this, Yunho. It's not something I'm proud of and it's shocking to-"

"No. Thank you for telling me this and trusting me to tell you this. I'm not scared of you, who am I to judge you after everything you've been through on your own." He pressed his forehead against yours.

"So besides this morning, if you've noticed that I disappear or have errands to run in the morning. I'm seeing my psychologist." You said.

"I understand, that makes sense. Do these sessions help?" He seemed hesitant to ask.

"I guess. I don't know how to describe it. It keeps me sane and yet, I feel like I'm driving off the deep end. Obviously I'm far from 'healing' if I can even be healed in any way. But it helps me sort my thoughts and feelings out." You explained.

"That's all that matters then." He kissed your temple.

"The fact is, the topic of family will always be a wound that never closes. It's just something I am taking a long time to come to terms with and to deal with." You sighed.

"And that's okay. Some times you take a lifetime to heal and that's okay too." He comforted.

"It makes me feel useless though. Every time I feel like I'm making progress, my father does something that sends me back two steps."

"I wish your father would just leave you alone." He said honestly.

"Like I said, I'm still holding on to the possibility that he'll go back to the man or father that he once was. But each time, that hope slowly slips from my grasp." You rubbed your forehead.

"And that's not your fault. You've given him so many chances and sacrificed so much of yourself for him. It's not fair to you." Yunho frowned.

"It's not just that too. I... Just like going to my mother's grave, every time I see my psychologist, it mentally exhausts me. I become a void. I try not to but it just happens. Seonghwa, Wooyoung and Jongho all know, they've been very understanding of that." You informed.

"They always try to be here for me after a session. Even if all I do is sleep, them being here helps me a lot. It brings me comfort." You smiled.

"No wonder you're all so close. Right from the start, when I met all of you and saw how you worked together, it was like all of you were more than friends." Yunho said.

"We're family. Y-You are my family too." You smiled softly.

"That's right. If I could change your past, trust me I would. But for the future, you'll never be alone again." He pressed his lips to yours.

"Thank you, Yunho. For loving me and showing me love." You whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck. Yunho laughed and showered you in kisses.

"Ack!" You struggled. You were both interrupted by the kitten standing there, meowing at the two of you.

"Someone doesn't like to be excluded it seems." Yunho laughed. You bent down to pick the kitten up, putting him in your lap.

"I am tempted to name you Shadow because you follow me around like a shadow. But... Thinking about the wood type that I like to use when I'm smoking meats... How about Whiskey? He looks like he'll respond to that name." You asked, stroking the top of Whiskey's head while he rubbed his cheek against your stomach.

"Whiskey? That's... actually not a bad name. It's random how you relate it to smoking meats but it's cute." Yunho said, cooing at the kitten.

"I relate everything in my life to cooking and food alright?" You rolled your eyes, making Yunho laugh.

"And I wouldn't have you any other way." Yunho smiled.

"We should go soon or we'll be late." You stood up, holding Whiskey in your arms. Yunho followed you to your room, helping you set up a fence to cage Whiskey in with his crate and litter box.

"Looks like I'll have to move things around and train him to use the litter box." You rubbed the back of his neck.

"One step at a time." Yunho held your hand. You nodded in agreement. Suddenly, Yunho tugged you to him, hugging you tightly.

"I love you, (y/n). You're not broken, you're not a burden, you're not alone. You've survived for so long, having to carry all this on your back. You're amazing and strong." Yunho said as he hugged you, his voice cracking a little.

"I love you. You're perfect just the way you are, I don't want or need you to change." The way Yunho spoke about you with love, only Seonghwa has ever spoke about you as such, and it broke your heart.

"Oh, Yun. Don't cry over me. It's not worth it... And I love you too." You pulled him down slightly so you could hold his face in your hands, wiping his tears.

"Don't say that. You are worth it." He pressed his face into your shoulder and cried for you, and everything you've been through.

"You take such good care of me, Yunho. I'm sorry I haven't been able to give anything back to you." You apologised.

"No. Not at all." He shook his head. Yunho never measured or thought that he gave you more than you gave him. In fact, he was just over the moon you trusted him enough to tell him everything.

"Let's wash our faces and go to the restaurant." Yunho smiled. You nodded with a hum.

After washing your faces in cold water to try and hide the fact that the both of you just cried, you and Yunho headed to the restaurant, not wanting to be late and keep the cooking team waiting. Seonghwa, Wooyoung and Jongho were already in Jongho's car when you and Yunho arrived.

"Hwa." You went up to your best friend and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head as you buried your face against his chest.

"I told him everything." You whispered, just audible enough for him to hear you.

"Okay. We can about it later." He replied.

"Sure." You nodded. Seonghwa held your hand as you all walked up to the restaurant. Yunho just let him, knowing you probably needed Seonghwa right now.

"Yunho... What did you do? Because I swear to all the heavens and levels of hell that exists, if you hurt my jagi, I'll-"

"Woo, calm down. He didn't do anything to me." You stopped the male from raging.

"He better not have." Jongho crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow at Yunho. The taller male just gulped, suddenly frightened for his life with Wooyoung and Jongho's threats. He took a step towards you, hiding behind you even if your height can't hide him.

"Why are you hiding behind me? Do you really think they can't see you? Do you not remeber that you're taller than me." You laughed as you looked at Yunho.

"I know I'm taller than you. But you're scarier and fiercer than me so you can protect me. Especially against them." Yunho said sheepishly.

"Unbelieveable." You shook your head and facepalmed.

"Alright, let's start cooking." Seonghwa clapped his hands, getting everyone's attention. All of you brought out the trays of deli containers with the prepped ingredients you prepared.

"Everyone knows what they're doing right? Sound out if you're available or need help." You instructed.

"I'm starting the ice cream churner for our dessert." Wooyoung said. You made the pickled beetroot for your salmon dish since that needed to sit aside to pickle.

"My beetroot is pickling and the other components of the dish is all last minute prep. Is anyone available to do appetisers with me?" You asked. Before Seonghwa, Wooyoung or Jongho could reply, Yunho raised his hand with a big, excited smile on his face. You let out a snort of amusement.

"Me! Me! Me!" Yunho grinned, pushing his hand further as if you would not be able to see him.

"Fine. Yun, you're with me on appetisers." You shook your head and laughed. Yunho fist pumped in victory and was by your side instantly, with his apron on and ready.

"I need you to flake the fish. Use these two forks and pull it apart like this. But not too small because we're going to mix it with stuff later, that's going to break it further." You demonstated to him.

"Sure, I can do that." Yunho nodded and began to do as instructed. You worked on something else beside him.

"What fish is this?" He asked.

"Grilled swordfish. We're going to mix it with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, red wine vinegar, tomatoes and grilled peppers. You eat it with bread." You said.

"I'll do the prep for the components of the salad so we can assemble it to order." Jongho said. Yunho was proud that he could do more complex kitchen tasks without you having to look over and check on him. Only if he had a question or asked for your help.

"How much of each do I add?" Yunho asked as you placed all the dressing ingredients in front of him.

"Trust your intuition, Yun. Add the tomatoes and peppers first, the others, add little by little until the taste is right to you." You smiled, patting his shoulder.

"What? I-I can't, I don't even know what it's supposed to taste like." Yunho's eyes widened.

"You'll know when you taste it." You encouraged him.

"Olive oil is rich, red wine vinegar is tart, balsamic vinegar is sweet. Then salt and pepper. There's optional lemon juice to add too, if you'd like. It's all about balance." You explained the flavours to him.

"Is that too much tartness? With the two vinegars and the lemon juice." Yunho asked.

"It depends on how sweet the peppers and tomatoes are today. Different batches and varieties all taste differently." You shrugged.

"But I... I don't-..." Yunho whimpered worriedly. You laughed, totally not feeling any sympathy for him. But still, you quietly did tasks that allowed you to stay by Yunho's side, silently giving him moral support. He frowned as focused on the bowl in front of him so he didn't notice the way you watched him from the corner of your eye.

"Hmm..." He would tilt his head as he tasted the dish then add more salt, pepper or vinegar. After another taste, he added a few drops of lemon juice to taste again and nodded in approval.

"Are you laughing at me?" Yunho whipped his head to you when he heard you stifle a laugh.

"Not at all. I think it's just amazing how far you've come, Yun." You smiled and his ears turned bright red at your praise.

"Can you check if it tastes okay?" Yunho pushed the big mixing bowl to you. You grabbed a plastic tasting spoon and took a taste of the swordfish mixture.

"It's great, Yun. A touch more black pepper though. But otherwise, it's perfect. See? I knew you could do it." You chuckled.

"Stop~" Yunho whined but add more pepper before folding it in. When he was done, he put it aside.

"Good evening, everyone." Hongjoong, Yeosang, Mingi and San came in. You all exchanged greetings with one another before they went to the locker room to put their things down. Then they headed out to the front to prepare for dinner service.

"Your team might need you. We've got it here." You said to Yunho. He pouted but nodded, leaning to sneak a kiss on your cheek then headed out to the front.

"Let's go through reservations for the night." Yunho called his friends. Since it was a busy Friday, family meal was extras of the bolognese.

"Ice cream is looking good and done. I'm moving it to the freezer." Seonghwa announced.

"Thanks, hyung." Wooyoung replied, busy preparing the dish that he was assigned to for the night. You cooked the pasta that the staff would be eating for family meal.

"Bolognese is good." Jongho informed.

"If anyone has time, have your dinner before the full swing of the Friday night crowd comes in." You said.

"Dinner is ready and in the bins whenever you guys are hungry and available to eat." Wooyoung told the team at the front of the house before coming back to the kitchen. You had a plate of pasta in your hands as you walked through all the prep for tonight, not wanting to miss anything out.

"Eat first." Seonghwa placed his hands on your shoulder, guiding you away from the walk in and to the table where his own plate of pasta was waiting for him.

"Don't worry, Hwa. I just want to make sure nothing is missed out." You said, sitting with him at a booth.

Seeing you and Seonghwa sit together at a table, engaged in your own conversation, Yunho moved to sit with his friends instead.

"This afternoon was hectic. But I told Yunho everything." You informed Seonghwa in a hushed voice as you ate. Seonghwa nodded, reaching over to hold your hand.

"That's great." He smiled, happy that you let someone else into your world to see the real you.

Series masterlist

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beemovieerotica · 3 months

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What's your degree in evolution say about that impregnation post?

tldr; no, it's not weird that humans don't go into heat.

ok so first off there are a lot of mammals that have concealed ovulation --- they don't physically, outwardly show when they're most fertile --- and there can be a lot of reasons for this.

but the biggest misconception that people have about evolution that I want to lay out first, is that just because something seems "more efficient" or "more advantageous" does not mean that it's going to evolve or *should have* already evolved. this is a big creationist argument too ("if evolution were real, then we would have evolved x, y, z")

if something works, it works. the fact that humans don't have obvious signs of when they're ovulating does not mean that we are a somehow "less efficient" species or that sex has a different purpose for us. rabbits also do not go into heat. they don't signal when they're ovulating. but, famously, they breed (like rabbits).

it's not good science to talk about traits and behaviors from this kind of benefit-based, anticipatory mindset. and I don't know how else to describe it, but it's like saying "oh, that fish has little legs because it needed to crawl up onto the sand." KILL THIS IN YOUR MIND! just because something ended up being good for a species and having incidental positives does not make that thing the "purpose" or driving force behind how that trait became ubiquitous across the species.

[[long aside, imagine if you will: a fish gets a mutation that makes its fins weirdly stiff. a bunch of fish get washed up on a shore, as happens, sometimes, because of the weather. and most of the fish die, but look, this fish with the weirdly stiff fins is able to leverage and worm and flop its way back into the water because its fins prop it up a little bit more than the other fish. it gets back into the water. it has more babies than the other fish (who are dead). etc. etc. etc. no purpose involved. it did not intend to grow legs.]]

"ok but why DON'T humans go into heat? if it could have happened either way, and if it's all about costs and benefits, wouldn't that be helpful, because it would mean guaranteed pregnancy?"

we're not special. many monkeys and other apes do not go into heat. again, if it works, it works, and we're doing great at getting pregnant without it.

we don't know if our human ancestors DID go into heat and if we lost that trait, OR if they never did and the trait evolved totally separate from us on other branches of the tree-- you can't necessarily determine if a trait was acquired or lost based on the number of species that exhibit it overall. you'd have to do some gene-by-gene detective work, and ovulation signalling is a complex process that's not tied to just one gene, and people are still figuring that out

you WILL see some biologists talking about how concealed ovulation "promotes monogamy" and I have to stress what an utter minefield a lot of speculative evolution is. we are TRAPPED in our current cultural context!!!

scientists who are otherwise so rational and good at thinking about things impartially will dip their toes into the evolution of sex and suddenly turn stupid. i've seen respected PhDs argue that the evolution of large breast tissue in humans is meant to "attract mates" - because western society finds breasts erotic - ignoring the fact that breasts aren't considered remotely sexual in pre-industrial societies - so of course these same guys are going to say that monogamy is some kind of end goal of an actual physical trait that humans possess.

SPOILER ALERT: there are between 6 and 13 non-monogamous primates that also conceal ovulation. oh no!! looks like monogamy isn't the point.

and then you have psychologists (who even asked??) doing studies like this

https://www.forbes.com/sites/rebeccacoffey/2021/01/29/estrus-and-the-evolution-of-mean-girl-behavior-like-slut-shaming-among-women/?sh=ca83660606b3

["estrus" is the word for behavioral changes that signal ovulation] the study is truly a wild ride but here's some highlights that show just how much people are letting their current cultural biases influence the actual design of their studies

-> all males wanted badly to mate -> females did not have promiscuity ratings -> female mate value relied heavily on physical attractiveness

it goes without saying that as long as researchers are forming their speculations on past ancestral human societies by just, looking around at their immediate culture and not questioning it at all, we're not going to get anywhere closer to understanding why the human body works the way it does

i'm losing the thread a bit because studies like this make me see red, but the point is that you're going to see a lot of insane takes from actual researchers on why human sex and biology works the way it does. you're going to see weird extrapolation and creationist-adjacent reasoning about evolution leading toward some "purpose" or people having some idea of what an ideal human body would or wouldn't do.

okay but at the end of the day, if a random human did evolve the ability to go into heat? would they be substantially more successful at producing children, and would that gene eventually become the norm for the species? no. there are so many goddamn humans in existence, and you've already got catholics having like 8 children per family anyway, so really, if there was a gene for being catholic then that would probably win out.

#ask #science #biology #evolution

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stem-sister-scuffle · 5 months

Text

STEM SISTER SCUFFLE: ROUND 1 MASHUP 9

Mercymorn The First (The Locked Tomb) vs GLaDOS (Portal)

Mercymorn The First is a Cryogenics Scientist and Anatomist!

GLaDOS is a Quantum Physicist and Behavioural Psychologist!

Why you should vote for each contestant:

Mercymorn The First:

"Scientist working on human cryogenics/necromancy. She's a genius in a codependent toxic polycule with God."

"Fits the criteria for STEM (science, tech, engineering, math (specifically science)), and also Quirky STEM (stabbing, tearing, eating, maiming). She was a scientist trying to save humanity from global warming, before one of her science buddies became a necromancer and killed the entire world. Now she’s the meanest lady ever and had a threesome with god. Also she got ultra exploded (also by god)"

"She was trying very, very hard to save humanity! She was aiming to preserve people for an interstellar voyage, so that humans could survive the end of the world. It didn't work out and the project got shut down, but after the world ended she pioneered the field of necromantic healing and was known as the foremost anatomical expert among God's Lyctors. She says ick! bleh! out loud when she's disgusted. Also she's much, much more ethical than most people in the series."

"She was a doctor that joined several of her friends, most of whom were other STEM people and a few who weren't, in trying to convince the governments of the world to make an active plan to save the world from climate change. This ended up with one of them destroying the solar system and everything in it, resurrecting it all, and becoming God. She was resurrected as one of his Saints, and continued to use her medical knowledge to become an anatomy specialist and as a key part of a plan between her and another of their friends to take down God for being a tyrant. She might have been an OBGYN but I can't remember if that's actually canon. Also, she has naturally "apricot-colored" (so, pink) hair."

"She was a Regular Doctor working to save humanity from climate change but got resurrected by her friend after he ended the world and became a powerful goddess-like figure. She uses her knowledge of human anatomy to do crazy flesh magic including making her hair naturally pink just for funsies (iconic). She doesn't put up with any bullshit from anyone, including the universe's ostensible god. I love her"

"It's not specifically described but she was the medical support in a cryosleep project, and she knows enough later to have artificially created a baby without either of the biological parents knowing about it

She's the worst and I love her. Here's a description of her in Harrow the Ninth:

You could press your hand to Ianthe’s chest, if you wanted—which you didn’t, naturally—and the blood-warm sternum beneath would gradually unfold for you. But it would take effort, and close contact, and you would need to know the sternum.

Mercymorn the First knew the sternum. Mercymorn the First knew the pericardial fat, the soft-tissue secrets of the mediastinum, the false-heart shape of the thymus. You might have to press your whole palm to Ianthe’s breastbone—doubtless—and take valuable seconds to search out the bone, and the things behind the bone, their characters, their locations. Mercymorn could pinpoint your pineal gland with the merest touch to the skull. This was not due to some Lyctoral power that she alone possessed, no honed necromantic theorem; as God had told you, she had simply memorised the body, by rote, over the course of ten thousand years. She had studied the measurements and their range of differences, and on the rare occasions when she needed to assume where something was or how it worked, her assumptions had the accuracy of ten thousand years’ experience. What Mercy didn’t know about the body wasn’t just not worth knowing, said the Emperor; if she didn’t know it, it hadn’t existed previously.

Over the dinner table you asked Augustine why, if it was simply a matter of memory, he hadn’t done the same thing. Ianthe choked discreetly on a forkful of boiled flour-paste shapes in red sauce. “Lord! I can barely remember what I had for lunch last week,” he said. “Besides, anatomy has too narrow an application.” Mercymorn opened her mouth, hurricane eyes promising a coastal lashing, and said, “Application!” but Augustine said, languidly— “One would only really need it to kill Lyctors, Harrowhark, and the rest of us never evinced any interest in that.”

That broke up the dinner somewhat.

This is her and I love her dearly

https://youtu.be/pvJOuUJNcx8"

GLaDOS:

"i’m not sure how to explain this one. she’s an evil computer who makes a woman do fucked up tasks that all involve a portal gun in some way. evil computer woman i love you :3"

"She's witty, fun, they had to restrain her intelligence and it didn't work-"

"She should be able to kill everyone forever. Anyways she runs aperture she loves science so much it transcended lives and identity. It’s just what she does"

"she kills people 👍 shes cool and i like her"

"…. I mean she’s categorically not but it would be funny to include her. Again, it would be Very Funny"

"mad scientist robot representation with a complex emotional arc through multiple video games"

"She might not know what the point of her tests are, but she sure is good at making them. Bonus points for being hot"

"Managed a massive and highly advanced scientific facility in which she ran tests and experiments long after the fall of human civilization. Chell/GLaDOS <3"

"She’s GLaDOS"

#stem sister scuffle #round 1 #mercymorn the first #the locked tomb #glados #portal #portal 2

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avonne-writes · 3 months

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I’d love your thoughts on gales relationship w his father in any of ur modern AUs + how John reacts to/fits into it!!

Thank you so much ❤️ Great question! I will describe their relationship in the high school AU, because the others are not yet defined in my head.

In the HS AU:

Gale's dad is often drunk or at a bar in the evening and gets home in the middle of the night

If he’s drunk at home, he keeps Gale up, if he gets home at night, he wakes him up by being too loud

So Gale has sleep problems. Because of this, he sleeps at Bucky’s as often as possible, which usually means every weekend and sometimes during the week too

When Gale’s dad has a bad night gambling, he gets verbally aggressive, berates Gale and his mom, blames them for bad luck etc. Bucky told Gale to call him even during the night if this happens. Gale never does, but the thought that he could feels really comforting to him.

Gale's dad isn’t overtly homophobic and he doesn’t threaten Gale for being gay. But all Gale's life, he has been saying stuff about what a real man should look like and how he should behave. The older Gale gets, the more he disagrees with the man’s ideas. This is why he grows out his hair.

A few times, Gale’s dad hit him when drunk. Bucky helped hide the bruises with his mom's make-up.

Gale asks his mom to get a divorce multiple times, but she's always torn about it and if she tells Gale's dad she's going through with it, the man sobers up for a while and acts all nice and decent to keep them.

When he starts drinking again after a nice period, Gale goes to Bucky and just lies in complete, silent defeat in his embrace.

He tells Bucky he’s moving out as soon as possible and will never go back.

None of their friends know about all this, they just know he fights with his parents and spends a lot of time hanging out at Bucky’s place.

He goes to the school psychologist every week, and Bucky always waits for him, often kicking a soccer ball around in the schoolyard. If Gale had a session that shook him / left him drained, he sits on a bench and Bucky shows him tricks with the ball and plays around until Gale smiles again.

Gale's parents almost never attend school events / swim meets / competitions.

Gale's mom is so caught up in her own struggles that she uses him as a crutch too in dealing with his dad. Gale is used to taking this responsibility on his shoulders but as he gets older, and especially after meeting Bucky's mom, he realizes that this is not how it should be and he grows resentful. It’s perhaps unfair but he resents her more than his dad and then feels guilty for it.

Gale loves Bucky's mom and she loves him too. One day, when he has a crisis, she tells her that she'll always be there for him, even if he and Bucky break up.

Bucky's mom is a single parent and is away a lot due to work (which feeds into one of Bucky's problems, but that's a different story). But she's laidback about a lot of things and doesn’t try to hold Bucky back from exploring, so it's not really an issue when they start having sex. There’s none of that bullshit "open door policy".

Gale categorically refuses to take Bucky home with him. They've been dating for like two years or something already when he lets Bucky enter the house with him for the first time.

By the time this happens, Bucky is taller than Gale's dad. He’s gangly but he’s not intimidated by the man. Him being all protective actually makes Gale feel a mix of affection and arousal.

There’s definitely an altercation between Bucky and Gale's dad at one point, possibly close to graduation, but Bucky disengages when he realizes that it makes Gale upset.

Bucky helps Gale learn how to relax and enjoy things. Gale reassures Bucky that Gale is someone he can always count on and who won't abandon him.

#mota #buck x bucky #gale cleven #john egan #clegan #hs au #anon #my writing #gale's childhood

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aziraphales-library · 3 months

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Hi mods,

first of all, thank you for the great work you've been doing, thanks to you I've found some amazing fics!

I was wondering if you could recommend a slow burn fic that is on the longer side, at least 20,000 words, non-human, any rating? Something like She did look back, and I love her for that by Waterloo maybe?

Thanks so much in advance, have a wonderful day!

Hello! Here are some longer slow burn non-human fics...

The space between us by MyOwnName123 (T)

This is a love story, written by my own asexual/aromantic ass. Crowley took exactly seven seconds to fall madly in love with Aziraphale, but he knows it's a terrible idea to actually do anything about it so instead he spends thousands of years pining away silently. Besides, what does love even mean? This fic may or may not have gone out of hand in terms of biblical and historical accuracy, also i tried to stay true to canon but it's been a while since i last read Good omens so this is probably more based on head canons and other fanfic. Enjoy!

32 Questions That Lead To Love by ffonippop (E)

”First formulated in 1997, [32] questions to fall in love is a study by psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron which took place at Stony Brook University, New York. The aim? Speeding up the creation of intimacy between two strangers.” The Cosmopolitan Okay, fine. Crowley was 32-Questions-That-Lead-To-Love-ing Aziraphale. Sue him. He had no expectations, all right? Just, an innocent curiosity.

Sunlight or Demise by verovex (T)

Anathema had once said she couldn’t see Adam’s aura, and it should’ve been more of a red flag, but the reality was it had just been so large she couldn’t see it for what it was. For Crowley, it was the same thing with trying to see reciprocation from Aziraphale. * The enormity of love was, by all accounts, indecipherable. Aziraphale had known what love felt like in this world. At least, he thought he understood it. He felt it all around him. He always had. Sometimes, it was stronger in particular places than in others. But, there was something blurred about it all if you looked too close. He’d realized that Heaven never felt like this, yet it’s where you were taught that it should exist. Aziraphale had started to wonder. He couldn’t decide when the thought first came around that perhaps the love he felt had actually been what was sifting between him and Crowley. At some point, it was easier to be humbled by the complacency of what they’d always been showing each other than outright admitting it for what it was. But that wasn't enough anymore.

Heaven's a Distance, Not a Place by Turcote (T)

The Apocalypse has come and gone, and Aziraphale knows it's finally time to tell Crowley how he really feels. Only, finding the perfect time to confess is proving to be more difficult than he anticipated... Or, 5 Times Aziraphale Almost Confessed His Feelings + the 1 Time He Finally Did.

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? by theshoparoundthecorner (G)

“Bit of an odd tradition, if you ask me,” he said, if not to get his mind off the longing that had settled in his chest. Aziraphale shrugged. “I think it’s rather sweet. A kiss for good luck. Seems a nice way to start the year. Very human.” Crowley nodded. “Can’t seem to keep their hands off each other, that lot. Always finding excuses. First it’s mistletoe at Christmas, then it’s luck for the New Year…” “Well there’s no need to be so grouchy about it,” Aziraphale said. “I think it’s lovely.” Crowley’s heart ached a little more as he watched Aziraphale smile up at the glowing numbers on the building above them. Yeah, he thought, lovely. Five times Crowley thought about kissing Aziraphale on New Year's Eve, and one time he did.

Oh, Maker by voluptatiscausa (E)

"The humans are strange and graceful as they explore the garden, explore themselves, explore each other. The trouble is, the humans stare back, which makes him uncomfortable; there’s nothing particularly interesting about him. And, though he rarely admits it to himself, the humans make him lonely; he has no Other to explore." Or: how many times can you take a bath with your best friend before you kiss him?

And the one you mentioned...

She did look back, and I love her for that by Waterloo (M)

1666, LONDON, AFTER THE FIRE Oh fuck, he thinks. Oh fuck, he's in love. (A not-so-nice but entirely accurate account of two immortal beings throughout the millenia, replete with feelings.)

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #slow burn #long fic #mod d

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crucipuzzled · 1 year

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About Loid Forger's therapy in SxF manga chapter 77 (Spoilers ahead)

There's a Freudian text for everything. Today's all about The Question of Lay Analysis (1926), also known as Wild Analysis.

Endo did what I have been planning to do for a comic of my own: depict Loid actually working as a Psychiatrist. While I'm glad he took this path, sadly I can't say he did a good job on it.

As some of you know, I'm a therapist grounded in Psychoanalitic Theory. Yes, I like Freud and Lacan, and no, Oedipus Complex is not what you heard it is. I did a brief analysis of Psychiatry stuff in SxF in the past, and today I feel compelled to repeat that exercise.

Let's go in order.

1. The importance of being a third party

What's the reason for which people ask a therapist for help, and not their families or friends? What do we have that they don't?

The answer is pretty simple: neutrality. We don't have a side other than rationality and ethics. A good therapist should be able to listen to his patient without losing objectivity.

When you and your patient have a shared, unique shared experience, it's preferable, even ethical, to refer him to another therapist, in order to preserve the higher interest of the patient. The more neutrality you can muster, the better for the curing process. Otherwise, it's really hard to listen to someone else without being constantly reminded of yourself. It turns into a blind spot.

Now, there are exceptions to this rule, but you must handle them carefully, and always putting the patient at the center. Loid openly talking here about how close he is to the hijacking incident doesn't help much.

In short, you have to ensure that your position in the therapeutic process remains an impartial, neutral Other, and avoid becoming a fellow. It's good to create trust, but not too much, just enough to work.

2. Chronic condition (?)

The biggest difference between a Psychiatrist and a Psychologist is that the first went to Med School. Hence, chronicity is a term that applies mostly for organic conditions, but it's rare in the field of subjectivity.

In my short experience, I've met cases labeled as "chronic depression" being cured. I, myself, cured a case of "compulsive suicide attempts since 15 years old, chronic depression, started hearing evil voices 2 weeks ago". You might think that I'm a great therapist, but it's not the case; it's just that, in order to tackle subjective problems, you ought to go to the root of the symptoms and deal with the subjectivity you find there. Psychoanalitic therapy has proven to be wonderful to treat many conditions that didn't get a cure in other types of psychotherapy.

Of course, it's not a panacea. There are things that we can't figure out yet. But bear in mind that chronicity, in the field of the mind, is more complex than just the passage of time and only a bunch of mental conditions truly admit it.

Jacques Lacan, the most important psychoanalist after Freud, said that the unconscious's track of time is not chronological, but logical. You don't just jump out of adolescence because you turned 18; other things need to happen for you to finally feel like an adult. It's a logical progression. The same can be said about some "chronic" conditions.

3. Explicit Reason of Consultation vs Latent Reason of Consultation

A.K.A Everybody lies.

Psychotherapy is a really weird thing to learn and master. In Psychology School they teach you that you must trust what your patient tells you, but at the same time, distrust him enough. How to conceal both things?

Well, everything is easier when you take Dr. House's words to heart.

Everyone states a reason for consultation, but that first reason is never the real reason, no matter how reasonable it might sound. The trick to discern what the latent, real reason for consultation is, is to determine what the subjective conflict hiding in plain sight is. Sometimes there isn't any and therefore, a full psychotherapy is not necessary (maybe just assisting someone with some things, being there just in case, etc), but most cases are built upon a conflict.

I'm glad that Loid here decided to act like a good Psychiatrist and took a mental note on the oddities.

WELL SAID MY BOY, I'M PROUD OF YOU

I want to remark this, because it's discouraging how many therapists oversee this to simplify their job to an extreme. Believe it or not, there are therapists out there that act upon what their patients tell them first. "Hi doc. I came here today because I got an accident and I think I have PTSD". "Ok, I'll have you practice these mindfulness excercises and you should be ok within a month, see ya". DUDE.

4. The place of truth in the context of Psychotherapy

Ah, the classic temptation of knowing the 'real' truth. Is this patient in front of me bullshitting his way out? Is he in a delirium? Is she telling the truth, or just embellishing her story to make it more believable?

You don't have this struggle once you are certain of your role as a psychotherapist. And your role is to help your patients to deal with their subjective struggles.

In short: Psychoterapy deals with the patient's truth, not with the 'real' truth.

You know who deals with 'real' truth in the field of Mental Health? Social Workers.

We psychotherapists don't need to ascertain our patient's claims. Confronting them with reality usually proves to be fruitless, just like Loid did here ("But you're a respected educator!"). It's way more useful to open the topic by asking more questions such as "How did you reach that conclussion?" "What made you think that way?", or giving a specular answer ("You speak like someone else said that about you", "You're too hard with yourself. Where does that come from?", "It sounds like you're belittling your fear for what your wife could say", etc etc etc).

Whenever you're with a neurotic patient, their own personal truth is the only truth you need to work with. Leave the 'real' truth for people who actually needs it, like Social Workers, Doctors or Judges. Your role with a patient is to make sure that his personal truth can turn into something less painful. No need to talk with their friends and family for info, unless your patient is a child or a teenager; just ask him and stick to what he says word by word.

There's a huge topic about the place of reality in therapy, specially in the field of Psychoanalysis, but if I start this train of thought I'm afraid I'll go down to Hell. If you're interested, I've reblogged some Lacanian pills on this Tumblr, check them out by searching the tag #lacan.

PS: NO LOID, DON'T DO THAT. DON'T BREAK THE TRUST YOU ACHIEVED WITH MR AUSTIN! CONFIDENTIALITY IS A MUST!!

5. Counceling = Psychotherapy?

Loid is a (fake) Psychiatrist, not a psychotherapist, so I can't be too hard on him. Also I stan this man. I'm painfully well aware that councelling and coaching is an alternative to psychotherapy in other parts of the world, mostly in the US. But let's not forget one thing:

Psychotherapists DON'T GIVE ADVICES.

At least, not the ones that take this job seriously.

Everyone can give advices. Do you want an advice? Ask your family or friends, or post something in social media, or ask a complete stranger in the street what to do. You'll get plenty of answers and advices. Maybe a bunch of them will be really useful. Good!

The thing with advices is that: -They act like a universal recipe for a problem -There's no universal recipe to sort a problem -They don't tackle the subjective root of a problem -They assume that the problem can be solved by something you can do upon your surroundings, when the real struggle stems from subjective problems Some advices do help with real struggles, but when you have a subjective conflict, they barely help; hell, sometimes they make everything worse.

Like Loid here.

Remember when I mentioned that the unconscious mind's track of time is not chronological, but logical? This is a great example. Mr Austin won't be able to properly talk with his wife just because Loid adviced him to; he must solve other issues before that.

I'm glad we're on the same page on this one

6. Your therapist is not your friend

Sad but true.

If your therapist is good enough, you won't know many things about his private life. You won't know about his lover, his hobbies, where does he live, what does he fear.

Why the secretism? Because it's useless for the patient. Also because disclosing personal information has the effect of becoming a model for the patient, who would start to imitate you. And finally, because you need to mantain a semblance of neutrality and not getting emotionally close with the patient more than necessary.

PS: It's kinda cute how aware Loid is about Yor's every movement. Kinda. KISS HER ALREADY, GODDAMNIT

7. Talking cure and (how not to use) the divan

I talked a bit about divans here.

There, I mentioned that you should NEVER PUT A PSYCHOTIC PATIENT IN A DIVAN. NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE. Well, we can amplify this rule a bit and say that you should avoid the divan with any patient that has a risk of getting seriously upset, like in severe trauma.

The divan is not the only thing that could play against you if badly used. There are cases in Psychiatric Hospitals of patients getting upset because their therapists used the same clothes and hairstyle every single day for months. The point here is that, with psychotic patients and fragile psychic structures (like what happens in traumatized people), you can't use methods that require too much projection.

Also, Lottie here is not performing a Talking Cure.

The divan has been used since Freud to facilitate transference through the Free Association Method. You lay down on it and your therapist ask for whatever crosses your mind first. You don't put a content there beforehand.

(On the same line, if you're a therapist, please refrain from decorating your consultation room with motivational phrases. You're putting words in your patient's mouth before he even starts to speak)

So, it's useless to make Mr Austin lay down on a divan, only to ask him to remember a specific memory. I'd advice (Ha! The irony!) against using the divan here.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- To finish my Two Cents, I'd like to point some positive aspects of this chapter. It's nice that a troubled person decides to seek for help. There's still a huge stigma about men requiring mental health help, and it's a nice example to settle to portray one actually going to a Psychiatrist. Men usually struggle with their problems alone and they have it rough.

It's also nice that, in the end, Loid could help his patient. I wonder how (How?!), but it probably means that, at some point of the process, he changed his methods for the better.

And yes. Sometimes, helping one single person can change many lives. I'm honored to be able to attest to that :D

As everyone, I'd expect the logical sucession of events that could follow this chapter: Loid realizing he's got a heck of a wife compared to other marriages, appreciating Yor more, and giving us heavy smut cute TwiYor moments. But Endo has proven to be an author that doesn't like to follow logic. So, let's brace for whatever will come in two weeks.

Thank you for reading!

#spy x family #loid forger #psychiatry #psychoanalysis #sigmund freud #jacques lacan #psychotherapy #spy x family manga #sxf

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boldlyvoid · 1 year

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Bigger than the whole sky | Part Three: Electric Hearts

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Summary: As it turns out, getting pregnant was the easiest part... The hard part is making sure Jack is okay with it and the team understands what it's going to look like when Hotch goes on paternity leave... and Peter's moms reaction to a grandbaby that isn't hers.

Warnings: pregnancy, canon rewrite season 10/11 - no scratch plotline, spencers mom's dementia mentioned, JJ's pregnant too, lots of Jack content, doctors appointments and ultrasounds, nondescript case in LA -- hotel quickies, showering together, lots of fluff over all

Word Count: 13.5k

Masterlist

Derek is so used to being called into Hotch’s office now that he’s the second in command, that he no longer feels anxious when Aaron asks him to close the door behind himself. He always knows that Aaron just wants to talk about a new case or some bullshit higher up… today he comes right in, closes the door and sits down like he owns the place.

“What’s up?”

“That place you’re letting Y/N stay in, how much were you going to sell it for?” Aaron asks.

“Why?” Derek smiles, sitting up straighter.

“It’s the perfect size for us and the kids,” Aaron answers, smiling right back, letting Derek in on their little secret.

“No way?” Derek can’t believe it, he’s so proud, he’s practically oozing happiness. “You didn’t even skip a beat, she said she wanted kids and you just went and did it?”

“We did it…”

Derek gets up from his seat and meets Aaron halfway for a hug, he pats him on the back and just laughs, “Wow… you’re going to be a dad again.”

“And that’s another thing I need to talk to you about,” Aaron says, making him sit back down. “Not only do I want to buy that house from you, I would like you to step up and take over when I go on paternity leave.”

“Obviously,” Derek shrugs like it’s nothing to take over as Unit Chief. “I don’t mind, I’m just starting to get used to the paperwork again.”

“I’m going to ask JJ to step up into your spot during that time and we’re working on 2 new hires so you’ll have almost a full team in our absence,” Aaron explains further. “And I’ll be 1 call away at all times.”

“And I’ll know where you live,” Derek teases. “Speaking of the house, it was foreclosed when I got it so it was only 153k and I put about 100k into it, so I can settle on 255, even though I know the market value now is close to 800.”

“I don’t mind paying the full—

“No, no. Put the rest of the money into the kids' college funds, please? You know I don’t need it.” Derek stares at him with his immaculate brows arched.

“I can do that,” he agrees easily. “Can you just keep it a secret for me? I want the house to be a present for her and she doesn’t want anyone but you to know about the baby yet… she really wants to make it to 12 weeks before she starts to tell anyone in case it doesn’t work out.”

“Of course, man… but I’m sure the others will figure it out, I mean, she’s not really going after unsubs as hard as before and she’s sticking to your side at the precincts instead of going out to interview suspects, she’s been having a snack at 3-hour intervals… she ever stayed back with penny cause she wasn’t feeling good. I had a feeling this was coming. ”

“She doesn’t want to transfer, she’s going to switch on desk duty around 20 weeks… she’s actually been doing the interviews for me so we can fill up the team again,” Aaron explains. “Have you heard anything about a Luke Alvez?”

He nods, “Yeah, he’s on the fugitive task force, right? He’s gone after some of the unsubs we’ve profiled but couldn’t capture, right?”

“Yeah, he did.” Aaron nods, “he and Dr. Tara Lewis, a forensic psychologist from San Fransisco, are our top two. She’s been interviewing convicted serial killers for the last 4 years, she has the most updated insight into why they do what they do.”

“Our team would be absolutely stacked with them,” Derek all but cheers, he’s so excited.

“So, should I make some calls?” Aaron asks with a smile.

“You better, or I will.”

—

At the same time Derek disappears into Aaron's office, JJ pulls Y/N aside. “Hey, can we talk?” She asks, tugging her all the way down to Derek's old office for some privacy.

Y/n has a feeling she knows what’s coming, either JJ is pregnant or she’d figured out that she is. No matter what, it’s going to be interesting if she’s pulling her this far out of ear range from the team. “What’s going on?”

“You’re doing the rehiring with Hotch, right?”

She nods, “Yeah, why?”

“You might want to consider a second person…”

“Third,” Y/N can’t help but correct her with a smirk.

“No way?” JJ’s eyes light right up. “You too?”

“Yeah, I’m 7 weeks tomorrow.”

“I just hit 10 weeks,” she says and then her jaw drops, she can’t believe it. “Holy shit?”

“Oh man… this is going to ruin Aaron’s plan…”

“What is?”

“He was going to ask Derek to step up as chief and have you move into Derek's spot,” Y/N shares. “I guess we have to ask Spencer now.”

“He’ll do it,” JJ all but answers for him. “Him and Derek running shit will be interesting but… I think they can do it.”

“And Penelope will be there to keep them in check,” Y/N teases. “But anyway, how are you feeling? Are you okay?”

JJ nods, “I’m good, it’s surprisingly a lot similar to Henry’s pregnancy so I’m just nauseous all day and sore when I come home and I could honestly fall asleep anywhere… but I’m good.”

“I haven’t been sick yet,” Y/N shares with her fingers crossed. “I really don’t want to throw up but I know it’ll hit me out of nowhere soon. I remember when Peter's cousin had their first she was only sick in the second trimester and I have a feeling I might get that too.”

“Spencer would say that’s because in the first semester, your body sometimes heals everything in you in order to make the most habitable home for the baby and then you’re so worn down in the second trimester that you get sick easily,” she explains, having heard it all before. “He said the same thing to Callahan last year when she had her baby.”

“What’s in the water here getting us all knocked up?” Y/N teases. “I mean, who’s next?”

“Derek,” JJ jokes. “With the rate he and Savannah are having weekends alone… it’ll happen.”

“I just hope he waits until Aaron is done with his paternity leave.”

—

Finding a doctor that could do appointments on weekends was hard. They couldn’t find a way to sneak out of the office during the week to go to an appointment without the team figuring out what was going on and most of their cases took them out of D.C. for 2-4 days so they’d have to reschedule anyway.

It’s actually Derek who’s able to hook that up for them. He simply asks his Doctor girlfriend and she asks one of her OBGYN friends at the hospital — who are more than willing to help out a couple of FBI agents on a weekend.

Y/N and Aaron come in that next Saturday at 10am and finally get to see their tiny little baby in her ever-growing stomach… she was already having a hard time fitting into her work pants and she was only 2 months along. Aaron loved it, which she knew he would, she just didn’t expect him to have his hands on her all the time. At work, he’d rest his hand on her side with his fingers slowly inching towards her tummy and at home, he was all over her. The doctor's office was no different.

He helps her out of her pants and into a gown for the ultrasound and then onto the exam table. He takes a seat beside her and quickly his hand comes up to rest on her stomach. She covers his hand with her own and caresses him with her thumb, “you’re so cute,” she compliments.

“Why?” He laughs, “cause I can’t keep my hands off you?”

“I don’t know if it’s your fatherly instincts or what, but you basically guard my belly now,” she teases. “It’s cute.”

“I love you two, sue me,” he teases right back.

The two of them laugh together more than anything else. He makes her so happy that her cheeks always end up hurting from smiling too much. They’re so in love it makes her feel a little crazy because there’s no way this is how love is always supposed to be. She can’t believe she missed out on these feelings for so long and she also can’t believe she gets to be this happy with him for the rest of her life.

“Knock knock,” their doctor says as she opens up the door just a few inches. “Are you ready to start the appointment?”

“Absolutely!” Y/N cheers, she sits up ever so slightly and squeezes Aaron's hand. “Thank you so much for taking us on a Saturday.”

“Oh, no problem, Dr. Hayes told me all about what you guys do for our country, I wouldn’t dare turn you away,” she raves as she approaches them. She takes a seat on the little rolling stool and moves in closer to them. “Thanks for catching bad guys, you guys are like heroes.”

“He’s the hero, he’s been doing it for 13 years,” Y/N pushes the compliment onto Aaron cause she doesn’t take them well.

“It’s nothing,” Aaron waves it off.

“Not nothing, it’s amazing… I’m Dr. Samantha Connors, by the way,” she says as she reaches out to shake Aaron's hand. “Is this your first baby?”

“Mine, yeah,” Y/N smiles. “Aaron has a 10-year-old son named Jack, he’s the sweetest.”

“Okay good, so you’re familiar with these appointments, aren’t you Dad?”

Aaron nods, “I wasn’t at all of them with my ex-wife, but from what I remember this appointment is just for the heartbeat and making sure the baby is growing properly, right?”

Dr. Connors smiles, “Yeah, that’s exactly right. So, if you don’t mind, I’m going to get started with your ultrasound, okay?”

“Okay,” Y/N agrees, she gets comfortable in her seat, her feet in the stirrups, and she takes a deep breath knowing what was about to happen wasn’t comfortable.

Aaron holds her hand the whole time that the doctor looks around without showing them the screen. They share little smiles and stare down the doctor together, both of them being experts at studying body language… they know everything is fine even before she turns the screen to them and says, “Are you ready to meet your baby?”

They both beam, nodding as words escape them… their baby is so tiny and real and right there on the screen. “She looks like a cashew,” Y/N can’t help but say as her eyes well with tears. “Oh my gosh.”

“I always forget how small they start out,” Aaron swoons just the same.

“they’re measuring perfectly for 8 weeks and on my monitor here I see the heart beating but let’s hear it,” Doctor Connors says as she turns on the Doppler effect and the woosh of her heartbeat comes through.

Y/N starts crying almost immediately, she tries so hard to hold it in but the tears run down her face, anyway. Aaron is quick to cup her face in his hands and wipe her tears away, he presses a kiss to her cheek, “you’re okay,” he reminds her. “You’re doing so good, she’s so healthy.”

“Very healthy,” Doctor Connors affirms. “We’re just waiting on the blood work you did in the other room to confirm, but just from the looks of things I think this is going to be a very successful pregnancy.”

“It’s my first time ever being pregnant,” Y/N shares. “I was trying for years with my ex-husband but he had a vasectomy and never told me so I always thought I couldn’t but it was him that was the issue. I’ve always wanted to see this, that’s why I’m crying.”

“I’m so sorry,” she places her free hand on her chest. “That’s awful, I can’t believe that happened to you.”

“It was awful… but I’m much happier on every front now,” She says as she smiles at Aaron.

“You and me both, honey.”

—

Aaron keeps looking in the rear-view mirror, he’s staring at Jack in the back seat. He still hasn’t told him where they’re going… Jack spent the night with Jess last night, he’s expecting to go right home but Aaron’s taking him to Y/N’s house for the first time. Y/N still doesn’t know that Aaron is working on buying the house, Jack has no idea either, so really it’s just Aaron trying to get them both used to being in that house together before he announces or proposes anything.

At the end of the day, Jack's happiness and comfort are very important and if he isn't happy with this, Aaron will just have to find a way to make living in 2 places work for them.

“Dad?” Jack asks from the back seat.

“Yeah?”

“You missed the road we take to go home…”

“Oh… uh, I thought we could go see Y/N for dinner tonight? Is that okay?” Aaron asks, “She’s making pasta, you like pasta, right?”

“Yeah, that’s cool,” Jack says with a smile. “I like her, she’s a good cook.”

“She is,” Aaron smiles back. “You’re going to like her house, too, she has a big yard and a nice new couch for movies and she has Netflix, too.”

“Oh! Yes, can we watch a movie before we leave tonight?”

“I think that could be possible,” Aaron agrees. “But you’ll have to ask her, she worked all day and we didn’t sleep on the plane and now she’s making dinner, she’s probably going to be tired.”

“I’ll be extra nice when I ask, I promise,” Jack says with a giddy look on his face. His shoulders rise as he clenches his fist and shimmies in his seat, overjoyed to get to spend more time with her.

It’s everything Aaron could ever hope for and more, his two (almost 3) favourite people love to hang out together. That’s all he wanted.

Y/N meets them outside on the front step when they arrive, she’s changed into her comfy clothes and she opens her arms wide when Jack runs towards her for a hug. “Hi buddy,” she coos, she pets his hair and gives his head a gentle kiss. “How are you?”

“I’m good, Dad said you might be tired tonight but if you’re not can we watch another movie together?” He asks right away.

“Oh, yeah, yeah we totally can, buddy. I’m a little tired but staying up with you is worth it,” she gives him a smile as she leads him inside. “What movie were you thinking?”

Aaron just lets them go. He watches them talk to each other and share little smiles and laughs and he can’t believe this is his life.

When Haley died, the last thing he could imagine was feeling this in love again and the second last thing he could imagine was Jack having a motherly figure as he grew up. He was so scared to do it alone and fuck him up and then he blinked and his life fell into place once again. His son is happy, his girlfriend is happy, and their baby is healthy. There’s nothing more he could wish for.

“You know, I actually have a surprise for both of you,” Y/N announces midway through dinner.”

“Really?” Jack perks up.

“Really?” Aaron is surprised, she hasn’t told him anything and normally they’re like open books with each other.

“I saw that one of the neighbours was moving a bunk bed into the bed of her husband's truck and she said they were just going to take it to the dump because no one would answer their Craigslist add for a free bunk bed… so I took a look at it and it was in great condition and I gave her husband 50 bucks to help me put it together in one of the spare bedrooms,” she explains, smiling with all her teeth the whole time. “And then I messaged Derek and he had 2 single mattresses in the storage unit and he dropped them off for me so now Jack, you have a place to sleep here if you want to stay.”

“I’ve never had a bunk bed before!” Jack says as he gets up from his seat at the table to run over and give her another hug. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“You’re welcome,” she says just loud enough for him to hear. Her shoulders drop and she holds him close, resting her cheek on top of his head. “Next time we have a day off we can go pick out some stuff to decorate your room, okay?”

She peers over to Aaron, he’s smiling at her with his heart in his eyes, “I love you,” he mouths, not yet ready for Jack to hear that but it’s true. He sometimes can’t believe the amount of love he feels for her, it’s overwhelming in the best way possible.

After dinner, Aaron sends them both out to the living room to pick a movie and start watching it while he cleans up the kitchen for Y/N. He doesn’t know what they’re watching, but hearing them laugh together makes him smile as he fills the dishwasher and hand-washes the pots and pans she used to make the pasta. When he comes out of the kitchen, Jack is snuggled back into Y/N’s side with his hand on her belly, watching the movie without a clue that she’s carrying his little sibling in there. Aaron takes a sneaky picture of them on his cellphone, he wants to remember this moment forever. The moment both his families became one unit.

He takes a seat on her other side and she’s quick to take his hand in hers. She gives his hand a squeeze and he caresses her with his thumb, she leans over and rests her head on his shoulder, giving him the chance to press a kiss to her temple.

—

When it's time for Jack to go to bed, he sits in the bottom bunk of his new bed and he looks around the room like something is missing. “What’s wrong?” Y/N asks.

He shrugs, “Nothing.”

Aaron isn’t in the room, he’s stepped out to the car to get Jack's overnight bag with his pjs and toothbrush, so he can’t read Jack and tell her what’s going on. She has to pry. So she takes a seat beside him, making sure she doesn’t hit her head on the top bunk and she smiles softly, “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

He nods and bites his lip, avoiding eye contact with her. “I need a night light.”

“Oh,” she should’ve known. “Um… I don’t have a normal night light but I have some string lights for Christmas I could put up, would that work?”

“Yeah, I don’t like the dark,” he shares.

“I don’t either,” she shares right back. “I think the lights are in a box under the stairs, do you want to come look with me? You can hold the flashlight?”

“Okay!” Jack agrees pretty easily, they run down the stairs together and to the kitchen where her flashlight sits in a drawer and she gives it to him. He flicks it on and off a few times with a smile, “thank you, Y/N.”

“You’re welcome, buddy,” she waves it off as no big deal and leads him to the cubby under the stairs.

He stands to the side, behind her, with the light on for her so she can see into all the boxes of things she hasn’t unpacked yet. She digs for a while, both of them don’t notice that Aaron has come back in or that he’s standing in the doorway, once again listening to them. “Here they are,” she announces as she pulls out the bundle of lights.

She holds them up to show Jack and he smiles, big and wide, “You’re the best… I really liked Beth and I was scared my dad wouldn’t find another nice lady to love like he did before with my mom but you’re even nicer. I’m really happy he loves you and you love him. He’s a lot happier now that you love him.”

“Jack,” she swoons and wraps her arms around him, trying not to cry. “That’s the sweetest thing you could’ve ever said to me!”

“It’s just the truth,” he laughs awkwardly while hugging her back.

When they come out of the little cubby under the stairs, they’re both shocked to see Aaron there, smiling. “Oh, hi,” Y/N smiles at him, still all teary-eyed.

“Dad, we’re going to hang these in my room!” Jack cheers, he’s so excited.

“Alright… with what?” Aaron asks, ready to help.

“I have some push pins in the kitchen we can just put them in the wall and drape the lights over it,” Y/N suggests. “And then when we go out to the store for decorations we’ll get you a real night light, okay?”

“Okay!” Jack shouts, overexcited, “You get the pins and I’ll put these upstairs!” And then he runs up the stairs to his new room.

“You’re so good with him,” Aaron coos, wrapping his arm around her and bringing her in for a hug. He kisses the top of her head and then she looks up at him with tears in her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing is wrong. I’m just so happy,” she admits. She leans in for a quick kiss, pressing her lips to his, they breathe each other in for a quick moment before pulling apart. “Are we going to tell him tomorrow?” She whispers.

He nods, “I was thinking we could take him to the restaurant where I introduced you to him, for breakfast tomorrow, and we could tell him there?”

“That sounds perfect,” she agrees, “you can go help him get dressed and I’ll be up in a minute, okay?”

“Sounds good,” Aaron gives her a smile, his hand grazes her tummy as he pulls away fully and heads towards the stairs.

She watches him go with a soft smile on her face, she just shakes her head… she can’t believe this is her life now. She has a wonderful husband, the sweetest stepson and she’s pregnant with another perfect Hotchner. What more could she ever wish for?

When she gets upstairs, Jack is in his pjs, his teeth are brushed and he’s sitting happily in his bed, waiting for Y/N to return with the lights already plugged into the wall and turned on, ready to be hung up. She hands Aaron a few pins and they each stick them in the walls, an equal distance from each other so they hang nicely. “I really hope Derek won’t mind…”

“He won’t, it’s not going to be his house for long,” Aaron says with a sneaky smile on his face like he’s been planning something.

She doesn’t say anything, it’s not something they need to discuss in front of Jack but if he was going to buy this house to make it their shared home, she would not be mad about that. In fact, she’d be overjoyed to have her whole family under 1 roof.

Once the lights are up, Jack lies down in his bed against the pillows and smiles. “This is perfect.”

“You really like it?” Y/N asks, seeking his approval.

Jack just nods with a hum. “I’m really tired now.”

“okay buddy, we’ll get out of your hair,” Aaron announces, moving towards the door. “Sweet dreams.”

Y/N brushes her hand over Jack's hair and makes sure it’s out of his face and she leans down to kiss his forehead. “Thank you for a wonderful night, buddy. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Is Dad going to be in your room?”

“No, why?” Y/N shakes her head, wondering why he’d ask that.

“If I have a bad dream, I need to know where he is… don’t most grown-ups in love sleep in the same bed?”

“Yeah, but we didn’t think you were ready to see us sleeping together in the mornings,” Aaron answers. “Would you be okay with it?”

Jack nods, eyelids getting heavier. “Yeah, it’s okay.”

“Okay then, that’s where you’ll find me if you need me. I love you, buddy,” Aaron says as he flicks out the light.

“Love you. Dad Love you, Y/N.”

She tries so hard not to cry again, “I love you too, Jack,” she whispers and heads out with Aaron.

They shut the door to his room once they’re out and she places her hand over his heart, “You have the sweetest son in the world.” She whispers.

“He was never this cute with Beth, I mean, he was nice to her and he invited her to have sleepovers in the tent we made in the living room but he never told her he loved her…”

“He’s the son of a profiler, I think he’s just good at reading people because I do love you, Aaron Hotchner, I love you so much,” she drapes her arms over his shoulders and smiles up at him.

He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her in close so their tummies touch, “I love you, too… Y/N Hotchner.”

Her brows raise at that, surprised, “really? I didn’t think you wanted to get married again?”

“I didn’t either,” he admits. “Come on, let’s go hang out before bed.”

“Once I go down the stairs I don’t know if I’ll have the energy to come back up,” she admits. “Can we hang out in my room?”

“Yeah, of course,” Aaron doesn’t mind as she pulls away, he simply runs his hands over her upper arms and smiles. “Anything you want from downstairs? I’m going to go lock up and make sure everything’s secure, maybe grab a water for myself.”

“Um, maybe a water and a ginger ale for if I get nauseous in the night and some crackers?”

“You got it, go get in bed and I’ll be right back up.”

She goes right to her room after that, she changes for bed and does her night routine in the bathroom. She’s midway through putting lotion on her belly and hips when she hears the alarm system turn on with its signature charm and then the sound of feet on the staircase. He puts everything on her night table and then peeks into the bathroom, standing in the doorway with a smile when he sees her shirt up, exposing her belly, as she rubs lotion over it.

“What?” She asks, “Never seen a pregnant lady try to avoid stretch marks before?”

“You’re just so beautiful,” he muses.

“Well, then, look all you want,” she teases.

He steps into the bathroom and makes his way to her, he places both his hands on her belly and he shakes his head in disbelief. He knees to the ground and places a kiss on her belly, “You know they can hear around 18 weeks? So I’ll get to talk to them in a few weeks.”

“I did know that,” she smiles down at him. “I’ve read all the books, you know? I had 8 years to prepare for this.”

He kisses her belly again and again, his hands wrap around to her lower back and one drops down to cup her ass, bringing her in closer to him. He hugs her that way, resting his cheek against her belly. “I can’t wait to talk to you, sweetheart.”

“You really think it’s a girl?”

He nods, “Yeah, I do. But even if I’m wrong, I’m just so excited to get to bond with them. When Haley was pregnant, I wasn’t home very often, I felt like I missed almost everything and then when Jack was born I did miss all the big moments. I wasn’t a good dad until she died and I had to be. I don’t want to do that this time.”

“I don’t think you were a bad dad, there are mothers who work and don’t see their kids often, too, you know? Do you consider JJ a bad mom because she missed Henry's first word and she wasn’t there when he walked for the first time? No. You don’t,” she points out. “You were working, and so was she. Working didn’t stop you from loving him with your whole heart, that right there, loving him, all of him, is the most important part of being a good parent.”

“God, I love you,” Aaron sighs, his shoulders drop and he looks up at her with the softest expression. “Thank you.”

“Come here,” she says, placing her hands under his armpits she helps pull him back up to his feet and then she wraps her arms around his middle and leans in for a kiss. She whispers against his lips, “Come to bed with me?”

“Always.”

—

When Jack wakes up in the morning he unplugs the Christmas lights and carefully opens his door so he doesn’t wake anyone up. He knows he has a tendency to wake up extra early, and he doesn’t have a clock in his new room so he has no way of knowing if it’s a good time to wake up or not. He simply goes to the bathroom, brushes his teeth and heads downstairs to look at the time.

It’s almost 7, his normal wake-up time for school, and his Dads normal wake-up time for work, so he doesn’t feel bad going back up the stairs and knocking on Y/N’s door.

“Come in,” Y/N answers from inside, so Jack opens it slowly.

“Hi,” he smiles once he’s inside.

“Good morning, buddy,” she smiles back, blinking into the morning light, slowly waking up. She’s on her side, cuddled into a pillow with Aaron cuddled up behind her, his arm slung around her and cupping her stomach. “Did you sleep okay?”

He nods as he makes his way over to the bed. “Yeah, did you?”

She nods and Aaron groans behind her, “What time is it?”

“Seven,” Jack answers. “I can go back to my room if—

“No, no, it’s fine,” Y/N stops him. “Do you want to climb in with us for a bit? We’re going to go out for breakfast later.”

She moves the pillow she was cuddling to the floor and lets Jack take its place. He snuggles right in and sighs as he relaxes. “Where?”

“At McGillicuddy’s,” Aaron answers. “You like the pancakes there, right?”

“Yeah, but it’s not a special day? We only go on special days?”

“Every day with you is special,” Y/N teases, she snuggles him in closer and kisses his cheek.

“Okay,” Jack laughs, a sweet pink blush on his cheeks.

Y/N lays on her side still, cuddled into Jack, as Hotch sits up and rests his hand on Y/Ns shoulder and then rests his chin on his hand. He tilts his head to the side and smiles, he hasn’t had a morning lay-in with his family in a long time. Jack hasn’t either. He smiles back at his dad, “Did you sleep okay?”

“We did,” Aaron answers for them both. “How were the lights?”

“Good, I didn’t get scared when I woke up to roll over,” Jack shares. “I really liked my new bed, too.”

“I’m glad,” Aaron says with a sigh, he’s still tired and Jack can tell. “Do you want to go get ready? There are some extra clothes in your overnight bag.”

“Not yet,” Jack snuggles in even closer to Y/N and holds onto the arm she has slung over his chest. “I want a few more minutes before everything changes.”

“What do you mean?” Y/N doesn’t understand. “Nothing's changing? We’re just going to get breakfast.”

“Okay,” Jack whispers. “It’s just… Dad took me to Disney World when him and Beth broke up, I know he takes me places when he has big news.”

“You took him to Disney world for that?” Y/N turns to him, she can’t believe she didn’t know that.

“Yeah, I thought he’d take the news better if he was having fun,” Aaron explains, he rubs his hand over his eyes and shakes his head, “I’m sorry, Jack, I don’t want you to equate bad news with your favourite places, I didn’t mean to do that.”

“So it really is just a trip to get pancakes?” Jack sits up and looks at them both. “You’re not breaking up?”

“No, we’re not, sweetheart, I promise,” Y/N assures him as she takes his hands in her own. “I love your dad, I’m never leaving him… we did want to tell you something though.”

“Y/N,” Aaron warns, he didn’t want to do it this way.

“Aaron, he’s scared, we have o tell him the truth,” she says as she sits up as well. She rests against the headboard and lets the blankets pool around her waist. She runs her hands over her shirt-covered tummy, “I’m pregnant, Jack.”

His eyes light right up, “really?” He goes to touch her belly but he doesn’t, he holds himself back. He doesn’t know if it would be weird or not.

She nods, “Yeah, I’m far enough along now that I know the baby is safe and healthy and hopefully, nothing bad can happen to it now, which is why I wanted to tell you. I didn’t want to get your hopes up if I lost it, but you’re going to have a sibling.”

“Are you okay with this, buddy?” Aaron asks, overanalyzing his facial expressions.

Jack starts to cry a bit as he nods, “I’m going to be a brother?”

“Yeah…” Y/N wants to cry too, so she rubs his arm. “It’s okay, Jack, you can be emotional.”

He covers his face as he cries, “I’m so happy, I promise!”

Y/N pulls him into a hug, crying now as well, “I’m so happy you’re happy, Jack, I’ve wanted to tell you for so long now. It was so hard keeping it a secret.”

He hugs her so tight, he rests his cheek on her shoulder and reaches out for his dad to pull him into the hug as well. So Aaron wraps his arm around them and presses his cheek to Jack's head. When he pulls back, so does Jack, he wipes his tears and smiles with all his teeth, “Do you know what it is?”

Y/N shakes her head, “Not yet, we find out next weekend. You can come with us if you want?”

“I want to,” he agrees. “Are we still going to get pancakes?”

Y/N and Aaron laugh, “Yeah buddy, we can,” Aaron agrees. “Do you want to go get ready now?”

He nods and bounces on the bed a bit before moving to hop off. As soon as his feet hit the floor he runs out the door and down the hall to his own room. He’s quick to change and then he has to wait. Y/N takes a bit longer than he and his dad to get ready, she wants to look pretty and he understands that, but he already thinks she’s the prettiest girl in the world.

He even tells his dad that.

“I know, I tell her all the time,” Aaron says with a blushy smile. “I’m really proud of you, you know that, right? You’ve been so kind and accepting of our relationship and Y/N’s always wanted a baby, so you being happy with her dream coming true means a lot to her.”

“Really? I didn’t know that.”

Aaron just nods, “she was married before too, but her ex-husband wasn’t a nice guy and made her feel bad for wanting a baby so bad—

“Did he not want kids?”

“No, and he lied to her. You know how babies are made, you said so yourself… well, he had a surgery done to stop him from being able to get anyone pregnant and never told her so she thought she didn’t have any good eggs, he made her feel really sad all the time. All I want is to make her happy, and that means making sure you have a good relationship with her too because we’re going to be one big family in 6 months,” Aaron explains it all to the best of his ability.

“Oh,” Jack sits back, sad for her. “That was mean of him.”

“He was really mean.”

“That makes me sad… Y/N is so nice, she didn’t deserve that,” Jack says. It’s really mature of him, he feels really bad for her.

“I know, but she’s really happy now with us,” Aaron assures. He places his hand on Jacks shoulder and smiles. “I promised to always make her happy, I’m glad you want to, too.”

And he does. He wants to make her the happiest and he thinks he knows how.

At the restaurant, they all order pancakes and a few sides, and as soon as the waitress walks away, Jack stands up. “I have to pee.”

“you know where the bathroom is?” Aaron asks, making sure he’s okay to go alone.

He nods, “I’ll be back.”

He walks towards the bathroom, which is right beside the kitchen, and out of view from their table. He stands in the doorway and waves his waitress over. “Excuse me?”

“Did you forget to order something?”

He shakes his head, “My stepmom is having a baby, can you write ‘congratulations mom’ on her pancakes with chocolate syrup like they wrote happy birthday for my birthday last year?”

She swoons, “of course, we can! That’s so sweet of you to ask, she’s going to love it.”

Jack thanks her and does head to the bathroom after, just to make sure they believed where he went. When he comes back, they carry on a conversation like normal, they ask Jack about school and he asks about work and when he’ll get to see Derek and Spencer again, he loves his uncles a lot. He has a playdate with Henry this week, so they’ll get to bond over being big brothers together and Jacks is so overjoyed with the news. He thought he’d have to just watch Henry get a brother and not get to know what it’s like, but now he will. Secretly, he hopes it's a boy, but if he got a sister he’d be okay with that too. He’d love her just as much.

“Okay, I have pancakes and bacon for Dad,” the waitress says as she places a plate in front of Aaron. “Pancakes with extra syrup on the side for the little guy… and I’ll be back with yours.”

“Okay,” Y/N smiles at her, she doesn’t mind waiting.

It takes all of 2 minutes for her to return, the waitress smiles so big the whole room shines. “Here you go, Mom,” she says as she places the plate in front of her.

Y/N’s jaw drops, “how did— Jack?” She knew it was him by the way he giggles and rubs his hands together. “Did you ask them to do this?”

He nods, “it’s a special breakfast, you said so yourself.”

Aaron looks over at her plate and reads the “congrats mom” written on the top pancake. Even he swoons.

“Jack, thank you,” Y/N says, she gets up and hugs him in the middle of the restaurant.

“You’re welcome,” he says with his face pressed to her tummy from their height difference. “I’m really happy for you and my dad, I always wanted a brother or sister… and secretly,” he whispers to her and she moves down so he can speak just to her. He cups his hand over her ear, “I wanted a step mom after my mom died.”

She hugs him again, even tighter. “I love you, Jack, I really mean it.”

“I love you, too.”

—

She brings a box of donuts into the office on Monday morning, the team watches with wide eyes as she sets the pink box down on the conference table, ready to attack like Vultures. “I know you guys already guessed and probably have a bet going, but, I wanted to tell you all… I’m pregnant too!”

“Ah!” They all shout as they stand up to congratulate her, they surround her with hugs and questions and happiness.

“Two BAU babies in one year, what am I going to do?” Penelope teases. “Should we do a combined shower?”

“Y/N gets the shower,” JJ insists. “This is my second baby, I already have everything I need from the last time, we should celebrate her.”

“Okay, so a shower and a sprinkle,” Penelope compromises.

“I’d love that, thank you, Penny,” Y/N smiles at her and then turns to look out the window to see her boyfriend talking to Anderson in the bullpen. “I’m not sure what’s going on, but Aaron will be up in a minute, he’s got some news for you too.”

“Here,” Spencer rushes over to help Y/N get into a seat. “You don’t need to be standing anymore.”

“Thanks,” she loves being pampered like this. “I’m still going to come out with you guys for a few more weeks, I’ll be moving to official desk duty at 20, maybe 25 weeks.”

“I’m not sitting out till my water breaks,” JJ teases. “And if this is anything like the first time, it’ll probably happen around 37 weeks.”

“He’s your second boy though, he might be a bit lazier,” Y/N says, she’s read all the books, and she’s talked to all the moms. Second boys typically stay in longer than usual.

“Do you know what you’re having yet?” Derek asks, he’s known the longest so this isn’t really a shock to him.

She shakes her head. “We find out on Saturday, but we think she’s a girl,” she runs her hand over her belly with a smile. “Jack wants a brother to be like Henry but he said he’ll still be happy with a sister, too.”

“How's that going to work? You and Aaron making a family while he has Jack and their own apartment?” Spencer asks, always wondering about the logistics.

She shrugs, “I think he’s planning to move Jack and himself in with me but we haven’t talked about it… I’d be fine with it, I’m just worried we’re moving too fast and Jack's going to have a hard time with it all. I mean, I’m not his mom, I can’t replace her and I don’t want to, but the kid is so darn cute and I love him to bits. Playing happy family with him would be easy.”

“Have you talked to him?” Derek asks.

She nods, “We wanted to take him out for pancakes yesterday and he thought because Aaron only takes him there for big news, that we were breaking up. So we had to tell him before we left and he’s happy, so, so happy he cried… and then he got the waitress to put ‘congrats mom’ on my pancakes. He has a room at my place now, too, and we’re going to go shopping after the ultrasound this weekend. He’s really happy with all this, I’m just scared it won’t last.”

“He is a sweet kid,” JJ agrees. “I can have Will talk to him when he comes over this week? See how he really feels about all this?”

“Yeah, that would be good,” Y/N nods.

“Can I say something?” Spencer interjects. He waits for a nod and then continues. “If someone loved my mom the way you love Aaron and they entered my life when I was 10, right after my dad left, and loved me and cared for me and made a conscious effort to make sure I felt safe and included… it would’ve made a world of difference for me. Having just 1 parent who isn’t around very much is difficult, but you’re making that hurt a bit less for him. When he says he loves you, he means it. Believe me.”

“Oh spence,” her heart breaks for him. “I had no idea?”

He shrugs, “newer members wouldn’t… but it’s okay, I have my family here, my childhood just pushed me to get here.”

Derek reaches over and rubs Spencer's arm, “and we love ya, kid.”

Spencer just nods, he bites his lip as if there’s more and he doesn’t know what to do and then it all pours out of him. “I uh… I don’t want to make this about me, please don’t—

“It’s okay, Spence,” Y/N sits up a bit straighter and stares at him with a comforting look, “We’re here for you, whatever it is.”

“My mom's doctor called me and he thinks she might be exhibiting signs of Alzheimer's and they don’t know what to do for her because they’re not a nursing home, they’re a sanatarium,” he explains with teary eyes. “I really don’t know what to do, either.”

“Bring her out here, we can get her into a facility closer to you and Will and I can help out,” JJ offers. “The boys can call her grandma, we can visit when I’m on maternity leave and you’re on a case, we can take care of her.”

“And we’ll bring Jack and the baby around too,” Y/N adds. “I’ll be off for the whole year after, maybe longer. I would love to go check on her for you.”

“We could even reach out to Dave and see if we can borrow his plane cause she doesn’t like to fly,” Penelope is already in planning mode. “We can make it as easy as possible for her.”

“You guys would really do that for her?” Spencer asks, so close to really crying.

“Of course, we would,” Derek says, still rubbing his arm to comfort him.

Aaron walks into the room then, “What’s happening?”

Spencer panics, suddenly feeling bad for sharing his personal life on company time like this is a bad thing. Y/N can see it on her face so she jumps in, “We’re just sharing some personal stuff… I can catch you up later, honey.”

“Okay…” Aaron takes a seat at the table, hesitantly. “But everything’s fine?”

They all nod, “congrats by the way,” Derek throws in.

“Oh, thanks,” Aaron starts to smile, overjoyed that everyone knew now. “As you all know, I didn’t really take time off with Jack, so I will be taking 6 months of paternity leave starting mid-September, and my replacement will be Derek. We still need to figure out who will bump up into Derek's space for the time I’m away, but we have lots of time for that.”

“I would do it, but,” JJ points down at her bump and shrugs.

“I have reached out to Emily,” Aaron adds. “She’s thinking about it, but if she says no, Spencer I would love—

“I can’t,” Spencer immediately cuts him off. “I have too much on my plate right now, I wouldn’t be the best choice.”

“Okay, well, maybe one of our new members would be willing to step up,” Hotch slides that in. The rest of them don’t even know who’s joining the team yet.

“Do we know them?” JJ asks.

He nods, “Dr. Tara Lewis is going to start next month. She’s a forensic psychologist who’s spent the last 4 years interviewing psychopathic criminals to ensure they’re fit for trial, she has a lot of insight on the criminals we’ve caught and she’ll be very handy going forward. However, the reason I’m so late is because I was telling the new guy where to put his things.”

“He’s starting today?” Y/N lights up. “Oh, you guys are going to love him. His name is Luke Alvez, he’s from the fugitive task force and he has a cute German Shepard he got when he came home from Iraq and he’s just amazing.”

“Wow, that’s high praise coming for you,” Derek teases.

“Oh hush,” she pushes back. “Aarons the first real man I’ve ever been into, I’m not normally one for the manly, in charge, leader types—

“Okay,” Aaron reaches over to hold her hand and make her stop, he’s getting a bit blushy. “Before we all get written up, the new guy is coming up in a second and we do have a case to get to.”

“That we do,” Penelope stands up with the remote in her hands. “The wheel has been spun and your destination is sunny southern California.”

—

This case is a slow one. 3 bodies over 6 months caused the case to pass by his desk and be on his radar, however, the 4th body was found only 2 weeks after the 3rd and now they’re officially on the case… but they still don’t have enough information. Knowing the timeline, a 5th body should drop within the week with a slue of new evidence for them to look over live and in person. Until then, they all head back to their hotel rooms for some much-needed rest and alone time.

Aaron leads her from the elevator to their room, he’s carrying both bags while she opens the door and lets them inside. He places the bags on the floor by the dresser with a sigh. “I am exhausted.”

“Me too,” she agrees with a matching sigh. She places her hands on her hips and sticks her belly out, trying to stretch her back which hurts more and more as their baby grows.

“Do you want to hop in the shower with me and then we can go to bed?” Aaron asks.

She nods and makes her way to the bathroom, she turns on the shower and immediately starts to undress. Aaron watches her with a delicate yes, unbuttoning each button on his dress shirt as slowly as possible so he can appreciate her as she gets naked.

“You coming?” She asks as she steps into the shower, wondering why he’s taking so long to strip.

“Mhm,” he nods, “am I not allowed to admire you?”

She gives him a knowing look, dipping her head and looking at him through her lashes, “I thought you were tired?”

“Last time I was tired after a shower, I got you pregnant,” he reminds her.

She just laughs, “We haven’t had much time to fuck since I got pregnant, have we?”

He strips out of his shirt and pushes his pants to the ground, “not really, but I don’t mind.”

“I do,” she whines. “There’s nothing I want more than to spend all my time with you in our bed, making up for lost time and appreciating what little we have left before we have a baby… but I feel weird doing it with Jack in the house.”

“He’s a heavy sleeper and he knocks before entering,” Aaron assures her.

“Still feels weird.”

Aaron doesn’t fight her, he just gets into the shower with her and watches her relax under the water. They wash off the day with complimentary body wash and share little conversations about their co-workers and even the case. They share sweet glances and soft touches and they don’t want to get out even though they know they should. She just wraps her arms around him and rests her cheek on his chest as the water cascades down her body and his strong hands hold her close.

Out of the shower, Aaron brings her all of her lotions and creams and he sets her pjs down on the bed to wait for her. He changes into fresh boxers, he checks his phone and hops into their single queen size bed all alone and awaiting her return to his side. When she does return, she smells good and she’s soft and she doesn’t change into her pjs… she stands at the foot of the bed and drops her towel, naked and on show just for him.

“I think that shower just woke me up, if anything.”

He smirks, throwing the blankets back, he beckons her closer. “Come on then,” he says, sitting up a bit so he can push his boxers off his hips and slip them down his legs.

She climbs onto the bed, crawling on her knees towards him, she helps him remove his boxers and toss them to the floor before she takes a seat in his lap. His hands soothe over her thighs, up to her hips and then her pretty little bump. He smirks, keeping his dirty comments to himself.

The head of his cock brushed her clit as she ground down on him, his hands found her hips once more as he instinctively helped her find a rhythm. He could feel how wet she was, helping her glide over him so easily, her breath hitched every time her hips bucked, she was enjoying herself just like this. It made him even more excited. She leaned in then, kissing his neck as she continued to grind down on him.

“I need you,” he gasped.

She smiled against his skin, lifting her hips enough for him to line up with her before she started to sink down on him. “Fuck,” she gasped as she sat down fully, her hands resting on Aaron's shoulders as she tried to get used to it all. Lifting herself up and grinding down little by little to get the rhythm going again.

Aaron held close as he scoots down the bed a bit, he lays back against the pillows while she stays sitting up. She rests her hands on his chest now, using him for leverage to ride him. He grips her ass, helping her rut against him but it’s hard. She really is tired and riding him takes a lot of effort with a basketball-sized bump between them. She leans in to kiss him on the lips, holding his face with one of her hands. Aaron's hands encapsulate her back, his big strong hands hold her closer

“Fuck,” he groaned, bending his knees, he pile drives up into her over and over.

She’s been a lot more sensitive since getting pregnant, the simplest, lightest touch to her clit could get her off. Each and every time their bodies connect, his groin slams against her swollen clit, exciting her more and more.

“I’m so close,” she whispered in his ear, kissing his cheek and resting her open mouth against his. They weren’t kissing, they were panting over each other with their foreheads resting together. “Aaron,” she whines, a bit louder than she expected to be.

Euphoria fills the empty spaces between them as she came, gasping and shaking over him. He’s right there behind her, sucked in deeper than before, she tightens around him and his hips sputter as he finishes deep inside her. She collapses against him only moments before she lifts her hips and rolls off of him and onto her side of the bed. Still breathing heavily, she covers her face with her arm and melts into the bed. “Holy fuck…”

Aaron laughs as he turns to his side and cuddles into her, his head on her shoulder and hand on her stomach. “Feel better?” He teases.

She nods, breathing steadying out. “Too tired to change now.”

“You gotta pee, too,” he reminds her and sits up. “Come on, the quicker we do this, the quicker we can go to bed.”

She sighs as she sits up, but she knows he’s right. He helps her back to her feet and he changes while she goes to the bathroom. When she comes back, he hands her her underwear to put on and helps her into a shirt, they fluff their pillows and get under the covers together and go right back to cuddling.

Aaron has an alarm set for tomorrow morning and the lights turn off. It’s quiet as they lay there, holding one another. “I love you,” Aaron reminds her.

“I love you, too,” she replies, smiling to herself.

He can sense she wants to keep talking until they fall asleep, she usually does. It’s something he loves about falling asleep beside her, she tells him anything and everything on her mind and it’s always sweet.

“What are you thinking about?” He asks.

“Baby names… after Saturday we’ll know who they are and we’ll have to start to really think about a name that suits them,” she explains. “You remember back when the divorce went through and we were talking about names you liked when you thought Jack was going to be a girl?”

He hums, “like it was yesterday.”

“I keep thinking about Juliet and how you said you like it… but I like it with e-t-t-e on the end, Juliette Hotchner.”

“Oh,” Aaron's heart flutters. It sounds perfect for his little girl… if he ever gets his dream of having one. A tear bubbles in his eyes, “yeah. Yeah, it sounds perfect.”

She places his hand over his, cupping her belly, and she grips it tight. He snuggles in even closer, he kisses her shoulder and lets the tears fall down. “I love you and our family.”

“We love you even more.”

—

The case ends mid-day on Friday, but by the time the plane is ready and they’re taking off, Jack is already going to bed back in D.C. with Haley’s sister, Jessica, watching over him. They land around 9pm EST and go right to Y/N’s house to sleep. Aaron texted Jess around 10, telling her that he’d be over in the morning.

When they show up Saturday morning, Jess is standing in the doorway of Aaron's apartment with a smile. “I have a proposition for you…”

“Okay?” Aaron is a bit hesitant.

“My girlfriend is getting into photography again and she’s trying to set up her portfolio, would you guys like some free maternity photos?”

Y/N's eyes light up, she doesn’t know if Jess means girlfriend like a Girlfriend or like how some women call all their friends girl-friends… either way, she’s excited. “I’d love that!”

“She’s really nice, you’ll like her,” Jack adds, apparently he’s already met her.

“Oh,” Aarons just as shocked about it. “When did you meet her?”

“On Tuesday,” Jess admits. “We already had dinner plans so she brought some takeout over and we all ate here, I hope that’s okay?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s fine. I’m happy you have someone, Jess,” Aaron admits, he’d never say it but he had his suspicions the longer she went without ever having a boyfriend.

She smiles even more, “Thanks, Aaron… uh, her name is Mel, by the way, she heard Jack talking about you being pregnant and she really wanted to do a shoot for you whenever you’re free.”

“I mean if tomorrow is too soon—

“Tomorrow could work, I can ask her?” Jess jumps in before Y/N even finishes her suggestion.

Y/N reaches out for Jess’ hand and pulls her close, she hugs her, “I’m so glad you’re okay with all of this.”

Jess holds her close, resting her chin on her shoulder. “Haley would’ve liked you, you know,” she whispers.

“Don’t make me cry,” Y/N tries to laugh it off, it’s weird to think how much different all this would be if she was still alive. “I’m going to do enough crying this afternoon.”

“You find out the gender today, right?” Jess asks as she pulls back.

Y/N nods, “I’m so excited to know, then we can move on to naming them.”

“Them?”

“Oh, no, it’s just one, I just find calling them ‘it’ is weird and calling them she when we don’t even know is making me feel bad cause what if I get attached to them being a girl and then they’re not? You know?”

“Oh, okay I thought you were having twins I was like… how are you going to do that with Aaron being gone all the time?”

“I’m taking 6 months paternity leave,” Aaron says and he doesn’t look too happy about the way Jess said that. “I’m still sorry I wasn’t always there for Jack, but they don’t need me as much as they did back then. I had 4 new members, and we were getting the team off the ground again. I can leave easier this time.”

“What do you mean, Dad?” Jack asks, not ever thinking anything was wrong about his childhood.

“I’m sorry,” Jess slips in first. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Aaron sighs and he ruffles Jack's hair, “I worked a lot when you were a baby.”

“But you saved people, that’s worth it,” Jack understands.

“He did,” Jess agrees too, even though he couldn’t save the one person that meant the most to all of them.

“Okay,” Y/N cuts into the tension with a knife. “Jack, are you ready to go? I was thinking we could go shopping before the appointment instead, okay?”

He nods, “I have to grab my backpack.”

“Where are you guys going to go?” Jess asks as she grabs her purse, she’s going to leave now too.

“Ikea,” Y/N enthuses. “We’re going to get a lot of stuff, so hopefully it all fits in the SUV.”

“If not, their delivery options aren’t too bad,” Jess eases her mind. “And I’m free most of the time so if it delivers while you’re gone I can be there for you.”

“Thank you,” Y/N really appreciates it.

“Okay, I’m ready!” Jack cheers as he comes running back.

They all take the elevator down to the parking lot, they say goodbye to Jess and Aaron helps Jack into the back of the SUV. “Have you been thinking about your new room, bud?” Aaron asks.

He nods, “Can we do a superhero theme?”

“Absolutely,” Y/N’s actually excited about that. “Are we thinking Batman and Superman or Iron Man and Captain America?”

“The X-men…”

“Oh,” she’s surprised by that. “That sounds cool, we can get some Wolverine sheets and some artwork of the beast and Professor X? Maybe even something for Mystique, she’s my favourite.”

Jack’s smile lights up his whole face, he can’t believe she knows this much about the X-Men, it’s impressive. So much so, that he feels comfortable completely geeking out with her on the drive to Ikea. He talks nonstop about his favourite comics, the characters and their plots, explaining to her just how cool he thinks Jean Grey is and how he can’t wait to see them make a movie about her one day. What Jack doesn’t know is that while they’re talking, Y/N is searching the internet on her phone for some cool posters about the characters he says he loves so his room can be fully decorated to reflect his passions.

When they arrive, Jack is so full of energy he takes Y/N’s hand and he drags her into the store, raving on about what colours he wants his sheets to be and how happy he is to have a room he can decorate again.

“I even asked Derek if we can paint the walls and do wallpaper and he said we can do what ever we want in there,” Y/N explains, “we can fully redecorate it together.”

“That’s because it’s not Dereks house anymore,” Aaron throws in, making them both turn to him with shocked expressions.

“What?” Y/N asks, not knowing anything about this.

“I bought it… I wanted our family to have a place to grow and be happy altogether and it’s perfect for us, there’s room for Jack to have his own room, the baby has a room and there’s a 4th room for if we ever have more, it’s perfect for us so now it’s ours. The papers are all ready, we just have to sign them on Monday.”

“Oh my god!” Y/N cheers a bit too loudly for being in the store. “Aaron?”

“When do we move in?” Jack asks, getting right to the important stuff.

Aaron laughs as he wraps his arm around Y/N and pulls them both into a hug. “You two get along so famously I couldn’t keep us separate anymore.”

“I love you,” she rushes out. She can’t find any other words that fit the situation, she just loves him and how much he thinks about their family.

—

With 40 minutes to get to their appointment, they finally check out with more things than they expected to buy. They got night lights, bed sheets, burp cloths, swaddle blankets, stuffed toys, a crib and baby mattress, mattress protectors, room decor and trinkets, shelves, a changing table and even ordered a rocking chair to be delivered sometime next week… they not only found everything for Jack but the baby’s room as well.

The baby they’re about to know a little bit more about in a few minutes.

They say hi to Savannah in the ER and then make their way up to the Obstetrics floor. They have a short sit in the waiting room and then they’re ushered into a little room with ultrasound equipment. Jack and Aaron sit side by side in two chairs while Y/N’s on the exam table, her shirt up over her belly and pants unbuckled with a piece of absorbent towel tucked into them to catch the excess jelly. And they wait.

“Have you ever seen an ultrasound before, Jack?” Y/N asks.

He shakes his head, “No… does it hurt?”

She laughs lightly, “No, buddy, it doesn’t hurt. They use sound waves to see through skin and tissue and observe the baby inside the amniotic fluid.”

“Cool!” Jack nods, sitting up in his seat and wiggling excitedly.

“Knock knock,” Dr. Connors says as she opens the door. “Oh my, we have a full house today.”

“Jack, this is our doctor, Sam Connors,” Aaron introduces her. “Sam, this is my son, Jack.”

“Hi,” he waves to her.

“Welcome, welcome,” she smiles at him. “Are you guys ready to know the gender or are we keeping it a secret?”

“We’re ready,” Y/N’s quick to answer. She’s giddy with excitement. “You can tell us when you know, we’re not doing a party or anything so you don’t have to write it down like some couples ask you to.”

“Oh, good that makes this easier for me,” Dr. Conners lets out a sigh of relief. “Its so hard not to slip up and say the right pronoun after I see what’s goin’ on.”

“We’re ready,” Y/N says with an unbreakable smile. “So, so ready.”

“And I have to remind you that because this is the 12 weeks can the gender can be hard to tell, we can do blood testing to double check but if they’re in the right position I can probably tell,” she adds.

“That’s okay, I know sometimes people wait 'till 20 weeks but if you can tell now, I want to know now,” Y/N adds.

Dr. Connors is quick to squeeze some warmed jelly onto her belly, she grabs the wand and starts to search for their ever-growing little one. She mumbles to herself, “There you are,” as the baby pops up on the screen. “I’m just going to go through and take some measurements and mark the important things and then I’ll turn to you, okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Y/N nods.

Holding Aaron's hand as he sits beside her, she squeezes him for reassurance. And he squeezes back 3 times. A silent “I love you” just for them to know about.

Time tends to stand still in moments like these. The week of waiting blew by, she can’t believe that this time last week she was putting a bunk bed in jacks room, nervous as hell to tell him about the baby and now they’re all in a room waiting to see said baby. Jack's giddy, she’s overjoyed and Aaron… Aaron glows. His eyes gleam, and his smile is small but it packs a punch with all the emotions he’s trying so hard to conceal. he’s the strong stoic type on the outside, but inside he is a proud father, a loving life partner and the most gentle, beautiful, wonderful man she’s ever known in her whole life.

There was a time when she only looked at him like her boss. Her hot boss, but her superior nonetheless. Somewhere between realizing the team was her new family and getting to know him as a lifeline and not a leader, she fell in love with him. It was seamless, too. The way she fell out of love with Peter and into love with Aaron, her heart ebbed and flowed with the emotions and the hurt wasn’t too bad because she had him… she doesn’t know pain because Aaron hasn’t left her, and my god, she hopes he never does.

“Okay,” Sam announces, ripping Y/N from her thoughts. She turns the screen to them and flicks through the screenshots she has taken with labels on everything. “Everything looks good, we’re measuring at 3.6 millimetres, which is just point 1 more than the average ‘normal’ length. Their heart and brain are looking good. On your last blood test, all the screenings came back negative and I’m not seeing any abnormalities or defects, either.”

Jack's now standing beside her on the table, he wants to be as close as possible to see the baby. “It doesn’t look like a baby,” he exclaims.

“It’s hard to see but here,” Sam flicks back to the live screen and moves the wand so the baby is in a better position. “This is the head, this is their spine, you can see their little arms and legs here… it’s super tiny, about the size of a plum, or a crab apple. You could hold it in just one hand, that’s how tiny a baby is at 12 weeks.”

“Oh,” Jacks a bit taken aback by that. “how many more weeks are left?”

“28,” Y/N is quick to reply, she’s been counting down since week 1.

“Wow,” he breathes out, his shoulders dropping and all the tension leaves his body. “Do you know if it's a girl or a boy yet?”

Sam nods, “I do… do you want to come over and read the screen for me?”

He nods and walks over to her on the other side of the table, Sam turns the screen to him and flicks back to one of the screenshots with the gender labelled. “You see right there, what does it say?”

Jack gasps and tears bubble in his eyes, and for a split second, Y/N’s heart drops. She’s sure he’s about to read that it’s a boy. He wanted a brother. She had it wrong in her mind this whole time… and then he says it.

“Female… I’m having a sister.”

Y/N cries out a happy sob, she clutches her eyes shut and covers her face with her free hand. She can’t believe it. She’s going to have a little girl, a tiny mini-me… or maybe a headstrong, confident little girl who mirrors her dad. Either way, she’s beyond happy.

Aaron rubs her arm, also crying, “Happy tears?”

At first, all she can do is nod as she calms down. “I can’t believe we were right,” she says through the tears. “Oh my god!”

“Congrats, guys,” Sam swoons. She’s overjoyed by this reaction, “I’m going to print out a bunch of pictures for you—

“Can I have one?” Jack asks, cutting her off.

“Of course,” Sam doesn’t mind. She prints out a long strand of photos from every angle, some with descriptions and some without. And she prints out another single sheet of the best photo just for Jack.

Dr. Connors cleans up her belly, goes over a few more things and they schedule another appointment for 20 weeks. She has Sam’s number if they need to contact her before then, but after that, they’re good to go home.

Aaron texts Jess the good news while Y/N is readjusting her pants and giving her belly an extra wipe down before she lowers her shirt, the jelly is so sticky after it dries she still doesn’t feel totally clean but it’s the best she can do right now.

Jess has talked to Mel and she is free tomorrow so they’re going to be able to take lots of early maternity photos and they have enough ultrasound pics to include in the shoot. Y/N's mind is racing the whole way back to the car about what she wants to do, what she’ll wear, where they’ll take them… she’s never gotten this far before. She never thought she would.

“Hey, Aaron,” she asks quietly in the car.

“Hm?” He hums, keeping his eyes on the road but one hand comes off the steering wheel to hold hers over the centre console.

“Would you be okay with me posting some of the photos on my Facebook? I haven’t even told my parents yet and I kinda want to just announce to everyone at the same time…”

“Yeah, that would be okay with me,” He doesn’t mind at all.

“Okay good, I know you don’t have an account and Jess and JJ aren’t allowed to post Jack but, I just want to post something about this,” she explains.

It's actually something she admires about him, the way he keeps Jack safe from the creeps of the world. It's so easy for people to see his name on the news when he does press conferences and google him that he worries someone could find out about Jack and snatch him up as revenge or just because they could… they’ve seen way too much at work to not be helicopter parents.

“I won’t post her face or anything when she’s born and Penelope helped me with my safety features when I first joined the team, so we’ll be safe… I just always dreamed about posting a bump photo and telling everyone about my baby one day.”

“I trust your judgement, sweetheart,” he says, caressing her hand with his thumb. “She’s not just my baby, you can set boundaries for her too.”

“I know… sometimes I forget you’re not like him,” she whispers.

“Like who?” Jack asks, cause of course he was listening in.

“Uh…” she looks to Aaron for some support, she has no idea what’s appropriate to tell him and what isn’t.

“Remember I told you she had a mean ex-husband?” Aaron asks, looking at Jack through the rearview.

He nods. “Yeah…”

“His name was Peter and he was a bit of a control freak, he’s like one of those mean kids at school who make you follow all the rules to a game and will stop the game to tell you where you went wrong or kick you out of the group,” she simplifies it for him.

“The worst,” Jack says and rolls his eyes. “I’m happy you picked my dad instead.”

“I didn’t really pick him,” she admits, turning back to look at him with a smile. “Falling in love isn’t that simple, it kinda just happens.”

Jack smiles back. “like fate?”

She nods, trying not to cry because that’s the most sweetest and perfect way to put it. “Exactly.”

This is where she was always meant to be.

—

One thing she forgot to do in the midst of the divorce and moving on, was delete Peter's family from her Facebook friends. She barely uses the site, so of course it slipped her mind until it was too late.

She posts 1 picture from their maternity shoot, her belly under lace with the sun setting in the background. It’s beautiful. She adores the photo so it’s the one she picked to share, alongside some ultrasound photos, a single pink rose and the caption “baby girl Hotchner coming this September”

She couldn’t believe she got to this point, sharing that she’s pregnant with her family and friends, having a big belly or this tremendous burst of love that courses through her veins as she reads all the comments of congratulations.

And then she see’s it.

Peter's mother commented.

“I always knew you’d be beautiful pregnant. So happy to hear your dreams are coming true, dear. Congratulations to you and your new family.”

It’s nicer than she expected. She knew that Peter’s mom was a sweetheart, but she also knew that he was her only baby and she sometimes took that a little too far… she was the type of boy mom that Y/N never wanted to become.

She simply replies, “Thank you so much, Jane<;3”

She doesn’t get a comment back, instead she gets a private message. “I was sad to know you broke up but after hearing why, I’m so, so sorry for what Peter did to you. He never even told me he had the vasectomy.

I would love to send you some things I made during the first few years of your marriage to my son, I always wanted a grandchild, but now that I know I’ll never have one I’d still love for your baby to have a homemade blanket from me. You’re going to be a wonderful mom.”

Her heart breaks for Jane. She would’ve been a good grandma, Mimi is actually what she wanted to be called. There were so many conversations they had about names and birth plans and nurseries… and Peter kept his mouth shut during all of them. He broke both of their hearts.

So she types back, “My friends at work are throwing me a baby shower in August, you’re more than welcome to come.”

It takes a few hours but Jane finally responds a little after 11. Y/N and Aaron are just about to go to sleep. He’s in the bathroom, she’s in bed on her phone about to set an alarm and turn it off. But she opens the message anyway.

“You know where to send the invitation. I’ll see what I can do. And don’t worry, I won’t bring Pete. We’re not really speaking at the moment. I’ll always love you as a daughter, Y/N. I’m so glad we’re still able to talk.”

She never would’ve thought an olive branch would grow out of the hostile ground of her divorce, yet here she is. Reaching out to a woman she was once related to, with things they can now relate to.

Horrible ex-husbands.

“What are you smiling at over there?” Aaron asks as he comes back into the room, in nothing but his boxers.

She looks up from her phone and sighs, smile only widening. “Life is so weird sometimes.”

Aaron makes his way to the bed, he kneels on the end and crawls up to her only to lay on his stomach between her legs and rest his head lightly on her belly. “Weird but beautiful.”

“Peter’s mom has been messaging me… she’s really happy for us and not talking to her son,” she shares.

He perks back up, “Really?”

She nods, “I’m not sure if she knows about the abuse but she knows about the vasectomy and she’s furious. She wants to send me all the blankets and things that she made when we started trying… so I invited her to the baby shower.”

“Luckily we’ll have a bunch of agents there to escort her if things get dicey…”

“I don’t think they will,” she says, locking her phone, she places it on her night table and runs her fingers through Aaron's hair. “But if it gives our baby 1 more grandma, I’m willing to hear her out.”

“You’re a good person,” Aaron compliments.

“You’re just rubbing off on me.”

His brows arch. “I mean, I’m not currently.”

She lightly swats his cheek, “you pig!”

He just laughs and snuggles back into her belly. “You love it.”

She just sighs and lays back, still running her fingers through his hair. “I love you.”

“I love you too… and you three, Jules,” he whispers to her belly and then kisses her bump gently.

“So we’re set on Juliette, like firmly? It’s happening?”

He just nods. “Yep, my baby Juliette. Jules, Julie, juju… I will be calling her all of those nicknames.”

She lets out a little giggle. Smiling to herself, he mind wanders to middle names. “I want to ask Jack for help with her middle name, do you think he’d like that?”

“He’d love to,” Aaron knows that. “Just look at all his other reactions, the boy is obsessed with getting to have a sister.”

“He’s going to be the best big brother.”

“You’re going to love him, Julie,” Aaron whispers to her bump. “You’re going to love everyone we know, you’re going to be so loved baby girl. So, so loved.”

@mrs-ssa-hotch @14buddy22 @spottedzebrasinpartyhats

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