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#I love her and I think she should do (more) crimes
inkspiredwriting · 1 day
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A Strand of Silver
Five Hargreeves x Fem!reader
Warnings: none
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Y/n Hargreeves was having one of those mornings. You know the type: spilled coffee, mismatched socks, and the eternal struggle to find her keys. As she rushed into the bathroom to get ready for the day, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Normally, she didn’t scrutinize her reflection too much, but today, something shiny caught her eye.
“Wait, what?” Y/n muttered, leaning closer to the mirror.
There, in the midst of her hair, was a single, unmistakable strand of silver. She plucked it out and held it up to the light, squinting at it as if it were some foreign object.
“Oh, no,” she groaned, her voice tinged with melodrama. “I’m turning into my mother!”
Just as Y/n was contemplating her impending transformation into a full-fledged silver fox, Five Hargreeves walked into the bathroom, his shirt half-tucked and his tie in a state of disarray.
“Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” he asked, eyebrow arched in amusement.
Y/n turned to him, holding up the gray hair as if it were evidence of a crime. “Look at this!” she said, her tone a mix of shock and horror. “Gray hair! I’m only 35!”
Five peered at the hair, then back at Y/n, a smirk spreading across his face. “Welcome to the club, darling. Want me to dye mine gray so we can match?”
Y/n glared at him, though her lips twitched in a reluctant smile. “It’s not funny, Five. I thought I had more time before this started happening.”
Five leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms. “Oh, it’s hilarious. You’re acting like this is the end of the world.”
Y/n huffed, tossing the gray hair into the sink. “You’re supposed to be supportive, not laugh at me.”
Five’s smirk softened into a genuine smile. “I am supportive. I support the fact that you’re still gorgeous, gray hair and all.”
Their playful banter was interrupted by a loud crash from the kitchen, followed by a muffled “Sorry!” Y/n sighed, recognizing the chaos as her brother-in-law Klaus’s doing.
“Maybe I should just let my hair go completely gray,” she muttered, “and scare the life out of Klaus.”
Five laughed, stepping closer to her. “Klaus would probably think it’s cool and start a new trend.”
Y/n rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help but laugh, too. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
Five wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. “Listen, I love you, gray hair and all. Actually, it’s kind of sexy. Makes you look distinguished.”
Y/n snorted, leaning into him. “You’re such a liar.”
“Nope, just a man with great taste,” Five replied, kissing the top of her head.
As they headed into the kitchen to see what chaos awaited them, Y/n tried to push the gray hair out of her mind. It was just one strand, after all. How bad could it be?
Klaus, Luther, and Diego were in the middle of a heated debate over who had the best waffle recipe when Five and Y/n entered the kitchen. Luther was holding a spatula like a weapon, and Klaus was dramatically waving a bottle of syrup around.
“Hey, guys,” Y/n said, trying to sound casual. “Do you think gray hair makes me look older?”
The room went silent as all eyes turned to her. Luther looked thoughtful, Diego just shrugged, and Klaus... well, Klaus being Klaus, decided to take it to the next level.
“Oh, honey,” Klaus said, rushing over to examine Y/n’s hair, “I think it makes you look even more fabulous. Very... royal. Like a queen!”
“Like the Queen of England,” Diego added with a smirk, earning a punch on the arm from Luther.
Five burst out laughing, shaking his head. “You see, Y/n? Nothing to worry about. You’ve got the whole royal approval right here.”
Y/n shook her head, trying not to laugh. “I’m going to regret asking, aren’t I?”
Later that evening, when the chaos had settled and they were alone again, Five and Y/n found themselves back in the bathroom. Y/n was brushing her teeth, and Five was leaning against the counter, watching her with a soft smile.
“You know,” he said, his voice thoughtful, “I used to think that life was all about big moments. Saving the world, traveling through time, stopping apocalypses.”
Y/n looked at him through the mirror, raising an eyebrow. “And now?”
“Now I know it’s about the little things,” Five continued. “Like finding a gray hair and freaking out about it. Or laughing about it with you.”
Y/n rinsed her mouth and turned to face him. “You’re surprisingly sentimental tonight.”
Five shrugged, pulling her into a gentle embrace. “Just thinking about how much I love you. And how that won’t change, no matter how many gray hairs you find.”
Y/n wrapped her arms around his neck, her heart swelling with affection. “I love you, too, Five. Even if you laugh at my gray hair.”
Five chuckled, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Deal. Now, how about we find that hair dye, just in case?”
Y/n laughed, swatting his arm. “You’re incorrigible.”
“Guilty as charged,” Five said with a grin. “But you wouldn’t have me any other way.”
Y/n smiled, leaning up to kiss him. “No, I wouldn’t. Now, let’s get to bed before Klaus decides to redecorate the kitchen again.”
With that, they headed to their bedroom, their laughter echoing through the house. It had been a day full of surprises and laughter, and as they curled up together, Y/n knew that no matter what the future held, she could face it all with Five by her side
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Pete & Nat, the role models
I've been wanting to meta a lil bit about Pete for sooooo long, I have soooo many good things to say about this guy.
And soooo many complaints for Storer, as well, because instead of introducing new and annoying characters like Computer and giving more airtime to Fak's brother, I don't even remember his name... Pete's character should have been better exploited last season. Especially considering that he became a new dad of THE NEW BEGINNING.
That baby reset the timer of the whole story, which we saw on screen a couple of eps later.
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This is how Pete was introduced to us:
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That magazine was right next to Pete's computer the first time we saw him in S1's Hands (01x02) when Carmy apologized over the phone, for having sent him to UC.
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Pete is enough. No low self-esteem issues, no drama, no trauma. He's centered, stable, and most importantly: He's Nat's rock.
He's a casual guy (tennis shoes on the cover symbology), a "report maker" (name of the magazine) even though he's a lawyer. "Report makers" are reliable and organized, even borderline boring sometimes, they are certainly not daredevils, they are anal and collected. That's their profile, Pete's fits it perfectly.
Not all lawyers are "reliable". He is, because he's the report-maker type. IMO Symbolically speaking that magazine stealing the focal point of the frame for a second is probably telling us that about the character.
So, he is "enough." Yet Sugar married him and started a family with him with this flawed mindset that is nothing but her trauma response:
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More about her here:
So, my point is that you don't have to be squeaky clean and your mental health does not have to be pristine for a loving relationship you enter into to work out, not necessarily. This does not mean that Carmy doesn't have to do his part of the work to get better for Syd, which he does and is doing:
OR that Syd doesn't have to clean her side of the street too, which she does:
It means that no, you don't necessarily have to be A-OK to allow yourself to love someone and be loved by that person as long as you choose each other and help each other to do the work, that work will be individual and it will be joint and you will always need help and there is no "right time" to start but ironically enough there is such a thing as too late.
Pete & Nat prove that they are doing it together, it's certainly not easy for them, especially for Natalie, but they are succeeding at it.
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IT CAN BE DONE. it's not a utopia or even a bad idea. It can work out, sometimes it doesn't sure, but it can.
Bonus track: Pete may play cupid for Sydcarmy, I am positive Sugar will so it's not crazy he will too by proxy and here's why I have this hunch ↓
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THE BEEF STEW
Fingers crossed like pretzels rn.🤞
Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋
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halcyon-autumn · 5 months
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Maybe Kipperlilly just needs more enrichment in her enclosure. Let her team up with Bud Cuddy to destroy the government. Anarchy would fix her, I think.
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have i mentioned how great cats are. there's a lil guy in my house and when i lay my head on her side she starts purring so hard <3 and ten seconds later she will try to open my wrist with her teeth <3 truly the best <3
#shes just a silly goofy little guy.....#miss war crimes.... mister menace... bastard... her royal highness <3#she holds all of these titles And More#no ones doing it like her!!!#she eats spiders & makes funny noises that instantly Boosts my criminally low happy chemicals#sorry i looked at her for too long and was once more overcome by a strange emotion i believe some call love#affection? delight?? all three....#and i Had to publicly post about her#i am very proud of my tiny fluffy friend & her general Existence. i must flaunt her#oh how horrible! a couple of tendons in my neck just rubbed together in a very terrible way#what the Fuck. i wish i could reach in there and pluck on em a lil. make sure theyre in the right places#felt that in my Ear....#absolutely unprompted#oh speaking of weird things cause yall know i love to ramble and overshare#i think! i Hypothesize! that there's a slight.... Disconnect between my eyes#my depth perception is fine and i can See#but theres somethin fucky w my vision and focus#nothing is blurry! but it looks like it should be! i dont know how to explain it!#its like my quality of vision has dwindled but not in a way i can describe or really point out#but it Is slightly harder to read and like... See things?#its almost as if i have a few tiny blind spots.#i first noticed this happening after my terrible no good double-decker-migraine weekend#it very slowly got slightly better but then i had Another migraine the other day (ugh and a left brain one at that)#and im back to square one! my visions all fucky again! my peripherals suck!#in other news my house is. so warm. its 2 am. my shirt is toasty enough to keep tortillas warm#i hope everyone is having a good week#and if youre not! theres always the next one! and little delights sprinkled throughout! get yourself a tasty treat you deserve it!
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potatobugz · 3 months
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i feel as if im going mad so im going to just put this out here. real quick. movieunleashers starters ramble.
i cant stop thinking about how mudkip broke down in that one scene in "Typomaniac," when Chespin called him mean. for a second he lets his mask slip a little bit and to me he just... acts his age. he starts crying and calls chespin mean back. maybe im just hyperfocusing on this one detail but mudkip is about 12 years old.
and that just makes me wonder what happened in this guys life that brought him to where he is now. and it makes it all the more tragic how his whole world revolves around chespin, but he is the one bringing him the most pain. and how young he was when he died.
there is a large theme of growing up in "Rare Candy." the characters ages are emphasized in that particular episode, and one of the main conflicts is fennekin wanting to evolve faster.
the thing about characters in these stories is that they're not allowed to just be kids, to have a childhood. so many bad things happen to them. like. mudkips whole, Everything. fennekin when she was famous in typomaniac, or dealing with her own insecurities/pressure from society about her relationship w chespin. and chespin always having to shoulder his friends problems & always somehow managing to stay positive despite everything.
why cant they just. play video games. eat ice cream or something. go to the movies
at the end of the day, i think both mudkip and fennekin are characters who grew up too fast. by distancing himself from them, chespin refused to follow in their footsteps and just wanted to stay a kid.
good for him.
#starters movieunleashers#rambles#long post#mudkip starters#fennekin starters#chespin starters#NOT TO SAY THAT BEING 12 YEARS OLD ABSOLVES YOU OF ALL CRIME BUT GOOD GOD#i honestly think it was good for chespin to distance himself from them??? especially mudkip. holy cow#he seemed... happier(?) in wild oranberries but tbf its hard to say for sure#bc chespin loves doing this thing called “lying”#also. i saw the end credits sequence#not sure how to feel about it i do not have enough information to go off of#but i suppose itll make more sense... all in due time#but going back to what i said earlier i think the issues a lot more complicated#i worry about chespin that boys friendship is basically just “i can fix him!” like girl. no#THEY ALL NEED THERAPY#INCLUDING THE GANG FROM LAVENDER TOWN#*ESPECIALLY* THOSE GUYS#please. ill cry#i cant help but think this will all end in tragedy#i hope mudkip gets a good ending or at least a bittersweet one#like again. he kills people. but hes also like not even in high school and i feel bad for all of them#anyways IM SORRH GOR YHE LONG RAMBLE I RLLY LIKE THIS SERIES??? AND THIS THOUGHT WAS EATING ME ALIVE SO I RLLY WANTED TO SAY IT#hey gang. new hyperfixation#hm. i should also mention the “watching his close friend die on front of him and feeling responsible for it” to the list of chespins traumas#i domt think fennekin was a “bad friend” as much as i think she just had her owm things toing on#and its entirely chespins choice to dostance himself from her
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deus-ex-mona · 2 months
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such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨
#(please forgive this old folk’s rambling for a hot min bc i need to get this off my chest somehow and in some way)#tl;dr: come and get into the hw idol series!!! we have ship discourse; more ship discourse; even more ship discourse#(yes ik people should be free to ship what they do b u t claiming a noncanon ship as canon and forcing it on everyone else is. not cool.)#yes yes friday’s mv was visually cute and ino.rin’s singing was peak b u t i feel like it has caused more harm than good in some way???#i cant b e l i e v e the jp hwtwt beef over friday’s mv is still going on mannnnnnnnn#no less than 3 separate people have made posts along the lines of#‘p l s stop using [official tags] to post about *[unnamed] non-official ships* p l s there’s a time and place for everything’#and n o n e of them even remotely run in the same circles yet they’re all banded together against a *certain* group lmfao never change hwtwt#lhy (esp yhy) shippers are always at the scene of the crime mannnnnnn#i cant see anything on their end of the naval battle (has every single lhy tag+account that i could think of blocked)#b u t it’s still really funny to witness on my twtdash against my will. i think i need to touch grass#‘kyhn isn’t canon either so why do you like it while being such a hater towards lhy—‘#great question!!!!!! it’s bc (disregarding the movie) they actually interact really well together~~~ like the honeypre event y k—#and also bc yukki treats hina really nicely all the time (even when she was being tsun and literally running from her feelings for him)#a n d hina loved him for who he truly was; even before his image change arc. and she also does her best to appeal to him and such~~~~~~~#but lhy. uh. they just bully hiyo 95% of the time and while they do look out for her bc they’re pals#they’re just pals. guys. and lxl have gone ‘uwu it must be u uwu’ to each other one too many times so shoehorning hiyo between them would.#be pretty weird ngl? esp since the ‘widely accepted’ portrayal of lhy as a trio is p much just hiyo x 2 dudes who dont even like each other#and. like. a branch of such portrayals usually seem to have aizo waft away from the ‘r/s triad’ to date mona instead which is. very weird.#some people just pick and choose aizo and mona interactions dont they. all they see is the umbrella scene and go ‘ah yes. canon’#they dont even read further to see how mona doesn’t even use the umbrella after aizo leaves (clear rejection)#a n d how aizo doesn’t even remember giving the umbrella to mona + mona’s entire existence in general after that#and that’s not even counting the grudge mona refuses to let go of even after what looks to be literal months#so for certain shippers to just casually shoo aizo out of the hiyoharem and into mona’s unwilling arms for the sake of yhy is. weird.#and like. shouldn’t he and yujiro have a say in this?? they’re more interested in each other than hiyo so just how are they being commonly#portrayed as hiyosimps in fanon? im so confused… like. wouldn’t they be equally obsessed with each other (as w/ hiyo) if they were a rstrio?#aaaaaa get this off my twtdash plsssssssss pls see this post twtapp pls let this affect your dumb algorithm im tired of the ship discourseee#as funny as the ‘lhy vs the world’ naval warfare is it’s getting. um. very annoying!!!! and now im missing nagisa more than ever s o b s#plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspls influence the algorithm ragepost; ik big brother is 👀watching👀 so do your thing—#(pls feel free to duke it out with me too if y’all read this i need my birdsite algorithm to le a r n that i dont wanna see stuff like this)
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allsortzofcrap · 5 months
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i feel like for the rest of my life i will be walking around totally normal and then periodically, i will be absolutely brained with a metaphorical anvil falling off the side of a building that represents the absolute bafflement i have towards modern adaptations of sherlock holmes and their treatment of irene adler. bbc's most recent adaptation in particular.
im so sorry. please repeat. she was stupid u say??? and i'm sorry, IN LOVE with him u say??????
i'm a feminist so i think women are capable of being in love and also of being stupid. they can do anything they put their minds to ofc ❤️. but this is too far even for me.
it's just that i can't understand why you would choose to write a narrative that is more mysoginistic than the source material when the source material was written in 1891.
was it intentional? did they somehow not pick up on the implications? was it random?
i can't fathom it. it keeps me awake.
#sherlock holmes#irene adler#bbc sherlock#guy ritchie sherlock holmes#that one noir holmes set in the 40s?#idk i might have made that up#you know what actually i'm thinking about the guy richie one now too#GOD!!!!!!!#men should me shot in the streets for what they did to my girl#it's just the complete inability to imagine her as being powerful in any way that does not relate to being underestimated as a woman#which is not to say that this is not an interesting thread to explore in a more thorough character study#but!#the notion that who she is as a character is the unique utilization of feminity and sexuality to obstruct the power of men#thereby making her own power a power only in reaction#does such a disservice to the core of her initial character and the point that she made#and also this relates to the obsession with adler as a villain#because adler isn't necessarily smarter than holmes - she totally may be - but that doesn't actually matter#what matters is that she outsmarts him#and she wins at the game he plays#she tails him - she disguises herself and isn't recognized - she preempts his actions through logical analysis (she takes his role)#and equally important - she holds the moral high ground she protects the vulnerable#so many of the cases holmes takes on deal with the exploitation of women by society - motherhood marriage reputation gendered labor#this is a case where holmes has become the perpetrator of a crime he would usually work to prevent or avenge#adler takes up his role where he has failed terribly to do so - as a result her power within this narrative is identical to his#it doesn't come from her gender or even necessarily from her intelligence (though these are important traits)#narratively speaking at least - she wins because she deserves to and her morality gives her power#it is that power which is always what i think is important about sherlock holmes when he lives up to it#to me he never truely wins by being smart - he only ever wins by being kind and wanting people to be safe and treated fairly#ALSO WHERE IS HER HUSBAND WHO SHE LOVES AND WHO RESPECTS HER YOU FIENDS!!!!!! she could never love holmes! she is loved by a better man#sorry!!!
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bleauktopus · 6 months
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Hiii ! Hope im not too nosy for replying to your tag to my post but im just a yap king;; I definitely think that the fact that kaito can pass as shinichi was like, invented after dc and mk got their universes merged? i dont think it was intendet at the beginning at all, but its definitely such a fun gag that, yeah theyre just similar,, and its implemented more nicely that them being related :(
ALSO YEAH EVEN THE TOICHI ALIVE REVEAL ??? I AM JUST PROCESSING THAT ??? imagine thinking your father has been dead for the past 8 years and then ??? IT TURNS OUT HES ALIVE ?? i wonder what will kaito react,, like i would just be in shambles if i would out my father was actually alive and i have been sacrificing my own life once a month just to find his murderers… also from what i heard toichi has been conversing w yusaku; if thats true, why not share it with kaito that his father IS ALIVE even if not well ?? i definitely hope there will be some decent explanations or something but damn,,,
also toichi & yusaku's relationship is definitely more different with the lense of them being siblings ? all these fuckass plot points make me want to rip my hair out at this point i say lets just invent our own plots i really do have to watch the movie as well because ive been just consuming other ppls posts djhgdjdsghkjfs
I was the nosy one anyway. I don't even watch Detective Conan anymore. I really don't like where it's going. Ran and Shinichi dating and she still doesn't know??? Isn't that unfair to her? What happened to hiding because the Black organization will kill his loved ones (such a stupid excuse but fine. Maybe he's scared whatever) wouldn't the Black organization prioritize killing Ran now? She's his girlfriend now after all. Isn't it stupid for such a huge secret organization to just massacre people because one kid didn't die? It's so stupid.
But it is my first anime. I loved it to bits as a kid and it still holds a soft spot in my silly heart to this day.
Kaito and Shinichi being doppelgangers was important so Kaito could pull his stunts so well, even if it happened after the merging of universes (lol) it's still canon that they look the same. Even enough to fool Ran who seems to have some weird Shinichi sixth sense sometimes. But I mostly remember those happening in the movies and the movies are 'not canon probably' most of the time.
It's stupid but????? Kaito Kid's dad is alive?? What? Poor Kaito is getting shot at once a month by the police and the people who almost murdered Toiichi (What's up with the organization Kaito is fighting now? Were they just staged to be killers? Did they fail to kill Toichi???) Looking for a magic red stone of immortality to find his dad's killers and his dad is alive? And you know his dad knows about the stunts Kaito pulls. Kaito Kid is infamous and he'd be a shittier dad if he didn't even check up on his son while in hiding.
What??? Yusaku is involved now?? Did he so easily agree to not touch Shinichi precious Black organization case because he's helping his brother? Are Shinichi and Kaito even aware that they are cousins? Are Yusaku and Toiichi aware that they are brothers? So many questions. It's so stupid I also wanna rip my hair out!
Oh by the way, about the ship stuff. Found this gem on twitter. You guys, just do you XD
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orderofthedyingstar · 10 months
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And here's a post w just the new profile pics all together!
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calcescarp · 2 years
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anyway i caught up on spy x family within the last 24 hours and i'm fucking in love with it
#another lukewarm take but whatever. it is so fucking cute#brace yourself for more lukewarm takes#starting with my misconceptions going in. because i gleefully live under a rock#misconception number 1: I THOUGHT THEY WERE A REAL FAMILY. NOBODY TOLD ME IT WAS A FAKE ASS MARRIAGE. I LOVE THE REALITY SO MUCH MORE THAN#WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS. I HAD NO IDEA. I FUCKING LOVE IT I LOVE THEM#misconception number 2: i thought Yor was gonna be 100% femme fatale. i did not know she was gonna be 50% shoujo protagonist#i am obsessed with her#she is my pathetic little scrunkly who is allowed to kill sometimes for enrichment#i want to hold her by the scruff#all those posts about 'what about HER bloodlust and HER crimes and HER patheticness' that's Yor. that's Yor#i was slightly skeptic at first but i am not. at all. anymore. i like her#misconception number 3: I DID NOT KNOW ANYA IS LITERALLY A TELEPATH. I DID NOT KNOW. I THOUGHT EVERYONE WAS SPEAKING METAPHORICALLY.#I AM OBSESSED WITH HER. SHE IS THE MOST CHARACTER EVER. SHE IS MY LITTLE ANGEL. SHE IS A MEME. but we knew that#misconception number 4: i thought it was be less comedy-centric. this is not a complaint. i love it so much. i love my silly spy show#okay here's one hot take. Yuri is the most horrible annoying character and i am obsessed with him i love him. i think he should be put down#Damian is also my little angel. i think that's probably a lukewarm take#talking tag#spy x family spoilers in tags#okay i'm done. btw yes i do exclusively ramble in tags. yes it is egregious. sorry#(<- not sorry)#okay bye. time to watch inuyasha#rue watch party
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gnecrognomicon · 5 months
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i'm being unwell about marcille dungeon meshi right now so. sorry in advance but i'm gonna be really annoying about this one
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animexts · 9 months
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"What is Y/n for you?"
Characters: Gojo, Nanami, Itadori, Megumi, Inumaki, Choso, Suguru and Sukuna.
Fem!Reader
Masterlist JJK
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────────────────────
GOJO
"Well, She's so beautiful and smells good, and she's also the hottest woman I've ever seen and-"
"You're so shallow!"
"I was about to talk about her personality, wow!"
"Then?"
"She is very intelligent and strong too, she is the person who has always put up with me, I love this girl .
────────────────────
NANAMI
"A person I would always like to have in my life."
"Just that?"
"Do you think she would like more?”
"Well, she'll see about it then..."
"Right, between saving her or Gojo, I would save her without thinking twice."
────────────────────
ITADORI
"Oh she's so amazing and always takes care of me even though I annoy her sometimes and... Wait, is she going to see that?"
"Probably."
"Hi Y/n, I love you so much, thank you for taking care of me.
────────────────────
MEGUMI
"I do not know what to say"
"Anything that comes to mind when you think about her."
"Well I would say... My best friend."
"Are you shy?"
"No-"
"HEY I WAS GOING TO SAY SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND BUT I FORGOT!
"Get out of here Itadori, it’s not your turn!”
────────────────────
INUMAKI
"Well, I don't know how we're going to do this but... Do you like her?"
"Salmon."
"Right...Is she very special to you or-"
"Salmon, salmon!"
"Right...I should have brought you a pen and paper."
He loves her, you can be sure of that.
────────────────────
CHOSO
"I would give my blood for her."
"Okay, that's a good thing, right?"
"Are you kidding me?"
────────────────────
SUGURU
"She's my partner in crime... Not this crime you're thinking like."
"What?"
"She would never do that I just... Fuck you got it ."
────────────────────
SUKUNA
"My favorite meal."
"What the fuck-"
────────────────────
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biancabi · 11 months
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Dick: *Forcing a smile* Being an older brother is a wonderful and surprising thing. You can always find yourself in situations you never thought you would happen!!!
-
Dick: *Freaking out* What was the only thing I said not to do??!!
Duke: *Guilty* Create a cult for the second time.
Dick: AND WHAT WAS WHAT YOU DID???
Duke: ....Create a cult for the second time.
Duke: ....
Duke: In my defense it was completely accidental.
-
Dick: Hey Dami, have you seen-WHAT IS SO???
Damian: Grayson keep your voice down, your screams will alert everyone.
Dick: *Deep breath* Dami, babybat, my little brother. Why is there a giraffe hanging out on your balcony?
Damian: Her name is Macbeth and I think that's obvious, she's too big to come into my room.
Dick: Where did you find a giraffe in damn Gotham???No, don't answer that. Does Bruce know about this??
Damian: No Grayson, you're the first to hear about Macbeth joining the family.
Dick: Okok, This is all Bruce's fault and I refuse to deal with this now.
-
Jason: Hypothetically speaking, how bad would it be if during the patrol I dropped my bombs that explode when touched on the wrong side?
Dick: ....I'm sorry? What?
Jason: Just a hypothetical situation, it doesn't mean he dropped bombs there.
Dick: What the fuck, Jason!? Really What the fuck?!
-
Tim: *With zero hours of sleep and 5 boxes of red bull*. I HAVE DISCOVERED IT!!
Dick: I don't want to ask, god knows nothing good comes of that, but what have you discovered, Timy??
Tim: *Jumping with excitement* I have discovered the identity of the criminal mind we have been investigating.
Dick: I take back what I said, that's good news. Who is it??
Tim: IT'S BRUCE WAYNE!!
Dick: ...
Dick: Did you know?? I said nothing. What made you think it's Bruce Wayne?
Tim: *Fretically moving hands* Just think about it, whenever Bruce Wayne leaves events early there's some big crime or breakup of Arkham, plus he always reappears with suspicious injuries and attributes them to his clumsiness. One part of his money mysteriously disappears from his boxsafe, his segurity is too good to be a theft or mistake, it must be your financing at evil ends and-
Dick: Tim, Don't you forget that Bruce-
Tim: AND YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE BEST PART.
Dick: What could-
Tim: HIS CHILDREN ARE TRAINED KILLERS AND RUN HIS CRIMINAL EMPIRE.
Dick: *Looking for the sedative and sleeping pills* Are they?? Tell me more.
-
Dick: Everyone should feel the joy -suffering- of being an older brother -it's all Bruce's fault, I must have been an only child-
*Voices of Tim and Damian fighting in the background with Jason cheering them on*
Dick: Above all I love my brothers.
*Sound of breaking glass and Duke's surprised scream*
Dick: *Trying to convince himself* I really, really love them.
*Gliter bomb explosion*
Dick: ....
Dick: *Whispering* I don't get paid enough for this. Damn Bruce.
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himbosandhardwear · 3 months
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Eddie scans the room, looking for who or what he's not sure, just keeping his eyes peeled for something interesting. It's Saturday night, a packed house, some of the usual suspects but some new faces too.
One in particular stands out, especially considering his Sears Catalog attire and artfully tousled hair.
There's something about his loose body language that draws Eddie's eye. He's out of place but he doesn't act out of place. Eddie can respect it.
Unfortunately, when their eyes meet, he gets a kicked gut reaction that makes it clear this guy is off limits. The guy looks away immediately, probably thinks Eddie is more likely to pickpocket him than buy him a drink. Oh well. No great loss, he didn't come to get laid anyway.
He makes his way to the bar, gets a shot of Jack and a Miller Lite and waits. Teddy will probably show up before too long, maybe they can bar hop. He sips his beer and looks around some more, noting the older Mexican lady who runs the flower stand on the corner. You wouldn't guess it just by looking at her but she can drink anyone in the place under the table. He should really get her name.
Sears Catalog has moved to a table on the right side of the room, standing with a presumed girlfriend. Their heads are bent close together. He looks up and catches Eddie staring. They both look away again. He's really gotta stop doing that before he gets hate-crimed. It's a known problem, his type being untouchable preppy boys. He's sure if a shrink studied him, they would say it was because he didn't think he was worthy of love, or some shit, but he can't help it. The straighter, the meaner, the cleaner cut, the more Eddie falls all over himself. It’s a miracle he ever gets laid. Thankfully there’s always closet cases. He swore to himself he wasn't going to do that anymore though, he needs to have some self-respect, not let asshole jocks use him and drop him the second an emotion is displayed.
“That outfit is hideous.”
Eddie jolts in his seat. He finds Sears Catalog smirking at him like what he's said is the height of wit.
Eddie wastes no time pouring the rest of his beer over the guy's head.
He stares back at Eddie in shock, almost hurt. Fuck him. He doesn't care, he's not letting some dumbass gymrat hone his bullying skills on him. Not today.
The guy's girlfriend jogs over with a handful of napkins, which is when Eddie splits.
“I told you not to use that line!” He hears her exclaim. Eddie stops in his tracks.
“But…but...he didn't even let me get to the good part,” Sears laments. Eddie can't turn back around, he's frozen in place.
“Yeah, dingus, because it's a stupid fucking line. I'm sorry you had to find out like this but not every guy who makes eye contact with you wants to fuck you.”
“I know that! I just thought… I don't know. Let's just get out of here.”
He sounds so defeated. Eddie did that. He assumed the worst and reacted accordingly. Like an asshole. Like a bully.
They're halfway to the door when Eddie's feet unstick themselves from the floor. He rushes to intercept.
“What was the rest of the line?” He shouts.
Sears turns, eyes wide, unsure.
His…friend? Looks Eddie over, unimpressed. “What's it to you?”
He winces. “Just…uh…I guess I thought you should know, some of the guys who make eye contact do want to fuck you, they're just too stupid to realize they're being hit on.”
Sears and Mean Friend make their own eye contact. Mostly ‘Beat it' and ‘Are you serious?’ and ‘Yes, oh my god, please go.’
Eddie respects their bond.
Once Mean Friend has sufficiently rolled her eyes and threatened Eddie with bodily harm should anything worse than beer befall her friend, she stalks off into the night.
“You should take it off.”
“Huh?” Eddie responds, stupidly.
Sears smiles. “That's the rest of the line. ‘Your outfit is hideous. You should take it off.’”
Fuck, it really is a terrible line. Something a middle aged creep would use. If he'd waited long enough to hear it the first time it would've made him laugh though, which would have broken the ice.
“Awful. Zero out of ten,” he says while grinning. “Looks like you already offended one guy.” He looks at Sears’ wet shirt, appreciating his own handiwork.
“I'll keep workshopping.” His hand comes up slowly, like Eddie might react badly again. “Steve.”
It's his honor and privilege to clasp Steve's hand in his own.
“Eddie. And can I say, your outfit looks great. It would look better on my floor.”
Steve practically twinkles at him. “Stop, I'm already a sure thing.”
He uses the hand still in his grasp to pull Eddie forward and smash their lips together.
When their grandkids ask how they got together, Eddie is going to have to lie.
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la2yn0va · 4 months
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Self-aware Honkai Star rail characters opinion on you being a streamer.
Characters: Acheron, Jingliu, Aventurine, Dr. Ratio
————
Acheron
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“How… irritating” she said her annoyance overtaking her entire mood and body language. Being forced to be on stage for people SHE didn’t nor about NOR care about.
Why must you make her suffer like this? She loves you, with all her being. But why are you airing her out to the world.. those ‘viewers’ of yours.
And that’s another thing. How do they get to watch you? You shouldn’t make yourself a fool for such unworthy humans. Have they even offered you a thing?
“Ayyy~ thanks for the bits and 20”
….you’d allow them your gaze for a mere 20 credits? (Money) either your benevolence shines brighter, or it’s blinding you.
“Chat what do we think of Acheron? I fuckin’ love this woman, she’s SOOO fuckin’ helpful for grinding and destroying the enemies… white bar health… yeah cause that’s what it’s called…please don’t clip that…”
Acheron could feel herself blushing, so she quickly performs her idle animation, leaning against her sword trying to hide the blush and smile slowly forming on her face.
Chatter—“She’s good, but she keeps taking your attention from us :,(”
Instantly her giddiness is sucked away and locked in a coffin as utter annoyance and disdain grips her with an iron fist “Storm's on the horizon, heading towards you”
“That was perfectly fucking timed… did that sound different to anyone else?” Despite acherons slip up, that hatefulness holds her tighter, refusing to let go.
In short, She loves you-she’s OBSESSED with you. But she WILL kill these ‘viewers’ if they stary your attention away from her one more time.
Jingliu
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“What makes THEM so deserving of your gaze?”
Jingliu is similar to Acheron, but tripled. Unlike Acheron, she doesn’t bother to hide her hatred for those viewers.
Chat: Yo (Streamer Name) you should-
Jingliu: Your Ready for death.
She says it like a statement and not a question. She hates these creatures who take your gaze off of her, she hates how a measly 5 credits is enough to get your attention.
Your benevolence is your best quality, but also the one that’s easily manipulated, which simply makes her despise the fact that you’re TOO kind.
Jingliu hates the fact that your a streamer more then her not being able to ‘cut the stars’ with her sword. Why must you test her loyalty like this?
Is this even a test or a punishment for her crimes? Either way, this is too cruel. Being forced in the sidelines for a bunch of people who don’t offer you anything of value.
Is her crit damage/rate not good enough for you? Are her stellar jades not of the highest quality? Perhaps her blade needs more… BLOODSHED.
Unlike Acheron, jingliu would VERY MUCH commit crimes to gain your attention. Like breaking the fourth wall, taking an enemies or allies turn to attack, KILLING her allies so that your attention would be on her completely.
In short, she’s a much more blunt and unrestrained Acheron.
Aventurine
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“Such Troublesome detractors…”
Out of everyone in the game, he’s definitely the most laid back about your occupation. Mostly due to his luck.
Course he’s annoyed that some no-named randoms are taking the attention from his god off of him for seconds, but it’s really nothing.
It’s extremely lucky that the characters haven’t killed him out of jealousy (see what I did there?) This fuckin’ Avgin gets the most attention thanks to his kit and luck.
Y/n: Thanks for the Dono-
Aventurine: Eyes on me~
Y/n: Ooo~ yes sir~
Aventurine has a UNIVERSAL shit-eating grin while others are glaring death incarcerated soul-sucking daggers into him.
Aventurine would probably join in on the thanks if a viewer sends you money/bits/cheers n’ shit.
Not much to really say here, he’s just laid back to the whole thing.
Dr. Veritas Ratio
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“Stop this nonsense. Immediately”
Dr. Raito fuckin growls anytime everytime you boot up the game, cause he knows 99.9% of the time your going to be joined by those brainless viewers.
He’s completely baffled as to why a being such as yourself would degraded yourself to such… idiocy.
There’s only two possible reasons as to why you’d commit such acts. 1. Your benevolence blinds your logical reasoning, 2. You… enjoy it.
Dr. Ratio’s opinion on the viewers is that their brainless insects, he doesn’t even care enough to be annoyed by them, they’re just THAT low level of importance to him.
Y/n: Hey “Streamer Name” who’s your favorite character?
Dr. Ratio: Do you have answers?
Y/n: I- that was perfectly timed.. DO infact have answers. It’s (anyone that isn’t him)
Dr. Ratio: Fail… Get Out!
(If it is him)
Dr. Ratio: Perfect… Twenty Points.
————
What we thinking about this one chat?
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witchofinterest · 2 years
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thinking abt kay’s relationship w her bio dad and their so funny. and actually one of the healthier dc father/daughter rels
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