#I still think about the gum. It was so... Texture

[thornsent]

Just unlocked a core memory

I realized that the reason that I like those videos of people opening and eating old MREs so much is because one time my papa and I found some of his old MREs when I was helping him clean and we sat at the kitchen table and opened and sampled them one by one. I think this explains a lot about me

[silusvesuius]

testing out drawing maormer 🪸🐚🪸 and a nelvas 🧣📜🩷 i'll ramble about maormer a bit in the tags

[greatunironic]

eddie wakes up in a strange room. this was not particularly unusual for him, historically: he’d spent most of his twenties waking up in new and interesting places (including a handful of jail cells). but after eddie, the label, and the los angeles superior court system decided it would be best if he stopped drinking and doing blow, it stopped being such a regular occurrence.

so it’s almost alarming to him, now, to be blinking up at an unfamiliar cement ceiling with the raging bitch of all headaches and generally feeling like he got hit by a truck, got whiplash in a crash with the way his neck aches. he’d think he was hungover like all those times before except for how sharp the pain is, bright.

he worries, briefly, he’s relapsed, or someone’s slipped him something. but he remembers what him and the boys had been up to, before this, and he thinks it’d’ve been a strange night indeed if someone roofied a c-list (b-list if he’s feeling charitable) musician at a fucking frozen four game.

because yeah, eddie remembers: they’d been third row, watching the wisconsin ladies clean up and cheering for jeff’s kid sister like she was about to get olympic gold. (she probably would, someday. her and that mayfield girl who played defense were looking down the barrel at a 2026 run apparently.

eddie’s been to a handful of games over the years, when touring and recording allows them to go. he’s resolutely never been a sports guy but he’ll admit, when pressed, that live hockey is pretty dope. to say nothing, of course, of how jeff would probably murder them all in their sleep if they didn’t rep the red and white for lottie.

(and also — and this is between eddie and his god alright — but lottie’s coach? standing back there in his suit, hair styled and dialed, snapping his gum, yelling at the refs? kind of doing it for him, okay. worth the price of admission, even if the tickets weren’t free.)

when he thinks harder — which hurts too — the last thing he clearly remembers was someone from the beavers scoring, bringing their lead to 5-1, and a slapshot from the other team getting out over the boards and nearly taking out some lady’s popcorn. someone behind them in the seats said, “jesus they’re getting desperate, eh?”

then shit goes dark on him, not even a fade to black, but a full on smash cut, roll credits black, and the post-credits scene is where ever the fuck eddie is at the moment. it smells like human and cold and icy hot, so obviously, he thinks, he died and went to hell like all the church ladies said he would back in hawkins, or probably just a locker room. what the fuck?

he blinks at the ceiling, at an interesting water stain on the cement texturing. he’s in the middle of wondering where the rest of his band has gone if he’s here alone, fucking abandoners, when a sweaty redhead with the bitchiest expression he’s maybe ever seen enters his field of vision.

“you’re alive,” she says.

eddie blinks again. “why do you sound so disappointed?”

“yo coach!” she shouts, already on the move away from him. “he’s alive!”

he tries to sit up, but that makes the pain in his head worse, and also draws attention to the fact that his back also hurts. he squeezes his eyes shut and makes a truly embarrassing noise of pain — if pressed, he’d call it a whimper — and a pair of big hands land on his shoulders.

“out, out ladies i got this! hey!, hey, man, don’t move just yet,” says big hands.

“yeah, no problem, i don’t want to anymore,” eddie says. he stirs up the will to open his eyes again and very nearly slams them back shut. because of course the person staring down at him is fucking coach hottie snackycakes himself. he’s even better looking in person, too, big droopy eyes, lips as pink as his bubblegum, and shiny, jesus christ. he’s still got eddie by the shoulders, hands warm through the thin cotton of his flannel and tee — because eddie’s always been more fashion than sense, wayne always said, and it’s even worse now that the paps are on him—

“oh, fuck this is gonna be all over tiktok later, isn’t it?” he moans.

“maybe not.”

“don’t lie.”

“listen, eddie — it is eddie, right?” asks coach hottie. “i’m steve. coach harrington. faughnsie — lottie, i mean — she said you’re eddie. her brother’s guitarist? what do you remember?”

“more like he’s my singer,” he says, “but sure. and not much.”

“well, you’re gonna be okay,” says coach hottie — steve. “it really wasn’t that bad, and it was probably too fast for anyone to get it, unless they already had a camera on you. you took a puck to the head when one popped up. i’d apologize but it wasn’t one of my girls who did it, so. anyway — you weren’t out for long, which robbie says is good — she’ll get a look at you in a second — but you got your bell rung pretty good. and you’re gonna have quite the shiner, trust me.”

“speaking from experience?”

“oh, yeah. closer and faster too.” he gently raps his head with his knuckles. “too many concussions too early ended my nhl days, in fact.”

“oh. oh shit, sorry, i—“

“don’t worry about it, man, it happens,” he says. “and if it hadn’t, i wouldn’t be here.”

“at the frozen four.”

“yeah, sure, that too.”

“what?”

“what?” steve waves him off. “anyway, i’m just glad to see you up, ish, and talking. looked pretty scary, from the bench.”

“i really don’t remember,” says eddie. “but i’m sure i’ll see it on tiktok later, like i said — at least, my unconscious, bleeding form.”

“i got up there pretty fast, so i doubt it,” says steve.

eddie blinks, twice. “you—?”

“you were behind my bench, and you. well,” he says with a shrug, but he’s clearly a little embarrassed, finally putting those hands away — weapons of eddie destruction, he thinks — and shoving them into his pockets of his tight slacks. “i should be getting back out there.”

“do you? you’re murdering them pretty good, unless i black out and missed them getting four more goals,” eddie says.

the corners of steve’s eyes crinkle when he smiles. eddie thinks he might just pass out again. “no, we’re still gonna cinch it, i think. looks bad, though — first time coach missing the final period so’s he can hit on the cute musician who got his clock cleaned by the biscuit.”

“oh,” he says. swallows. “uh.”

steve’s crinkly, smiley eyes go wide. “unless—“

“no less!” eddie shouts and then immediately winces. at a better, less damaging to his more than slightly concussed noggin, volume, he says, “more, actually. because pretty sure i shouldn’t be left unsupervised, and i’ve clearly been abandoned by the band, so—“

“so,” says steve.

“coach, two minutes!” someone calls.

“so, i was hoping maybe i could keep hitting on the hot hockey coach back at his?”

“i’m at the ramada inn,” he says, “and i got tape to watch for the finals.”

“i live for room service,” eddie tells him seriously. “and i’m suddenly very into wisconsin sports teams.”

“coach! go time!”

“yeah?” he asks.

“yeah.”

“COACH!”

he jerks a thumb over his shoulder. “i gotta — but, uh, later?”

“pick me up in twenty?”

“probably more like half an hour, with stoppage,” he says.

someone bangs on the door. “COACH!! let’s boogie!!”

with one last look, wide eyed and smiling, steve leaves. eddie watches him go. he’d heard hockey players were caked up but lord — eddie is about to convert to a new religion, or maybe found one, over the stretch of those slacks.

“damn,” he says quietly.

“gross,” a woman says. eddie startles and looks to the side, where a lanky brunette with a bob and an undercut is staring at him, unimpressed. she’s in some get up that screams athletic trainer, and there’s a white board in her hand.

“how long have you been there?” he asks.

she raises an eyebrow. “long enough, and honestly, i don’t know if that counts as a you rule for him, or a you suck for you,” she says and does not elaborate when he asks. “also don’t look at him like that. it’s steve. he’s basically my sister.”

“yeah? any tips then?” asks eddie. “i promise i’ll only use them for good. well. mostly.”

“god,” she says with an expansive eye roll. “you’re gonna be a nightmare, aren’t you?”

a cheer goes up outside the room as the teams, presumably, take the ice again. eddie, head throbbing, concussed, embarrassed, grins. “sure hope so,” he says.

[thegnomelord]

You ever hear the gross stories about people putting peanut butter on their junk and having a dog lick it off? This sounds bad but stay with me here, imagine it's marakov doing this with hound. Like it's a humiliation thing to break hound down or something and drive it into his head that he's no better than an actual dog. Marakov starving hound for awhile so he's famished and then pulling the peanut butter out. If hound wants to eat then the only food he can have will be the peanut butter he'll have to lick off marakovs cock.

Oh fuck that is disgusting and SOOO something Makarov would do. So here's a lil ficlet cause you got my brain going Brrrr

CW:NSFW, MDNI, Makarov x male reader, blowjob, peanutbutter food sex, toxic relationship, dom/sub dub-con, rough and quick, I дворняга - mongrel, mutt есть - eat, нет - no.

Rough fingers grip your jaw until it hurts, Makarov's thumb pressing down on your tongue to keep it flush with the bottom of your mouth. Drool and a bit of blood run down your chin, a small puddle already forming between your folded knees. The fingers on of his other hand wiggle your canine, uncaring of how your jaw trembles in an attempt not to bite him.

"Poor дворняга," Makarov chuckles, "Not liking your new teeth?"

Your 'new' teeth hurt like hell and that's saying something, gums around them still raw and irritated, knives stabbing at your entire jaw and down your throat whenever he wiggles the tooth even slightly. But you can't show that, don't bite the hand that feeds. So you swallow the sound of pain bubbling in your chest and shake your head as much as he allows you to do so.

You can see his smirk past the tears blurring your vision. "Good dog." He chuckles, pulling his fingers from your mouth to pat your head. "You must be hungry."

You are. Starving. You can't remember the last time you've been fed, probably before Makarov had your canines ripped from your mouth and replaced with metal, but the constant pain buzzing in your body makes it hard to keep track as the days blur together. You wordlessly nod your head, knowing better than to speak when he hasn't given you permission yet (you doubt you even could with how much your jaw hurts.)

Makarov leans back on your bunk, letting go of your jaw to fiddle with the jar of peanut butter. Unscrewing the lid he dips his pointer finder in and scoops up a big dollop of it. He holds it out for you, resting the back of his finger on your tongue. "Есть." He orders, tone leaving no room for arguing and you're quick to close your lips around his finger, tongue moving to lick it clean and trying to avoid nudging your teeth.

You've always hated the stuff since Price got you to try some when you were in America, the taste and texture making your skin crawl, but right now it may as well be ichor of the gods. Your stomach rumbles at finally being able to devour something, even if it's just a small scoop of peanut butter.

You open your mouth when you're done, spit clinging to Makarov's finger, and try your best to make a small whine. "Good, finally learning." He hums and sets the jaw down, unbuckling his belt.

Your heart stutters and drops to your stomach as you watch Makarov fish his half hard cock from his boxers, only needing a few strokes to get him fully erect. Makarov laughs at the face you make when he scoops up a good amount of the peanut butter and uses it like lube on his cock.

"Oh, did you think you would just get to eat?" He snorts, holding the base of his cock, "Нет, нет, нет you dumb mutt." He spreads his legs wider, patting his thigh. "You'll have to work for it, now есть."

You hesitate, some meager part of your pride absolutely unwilling, your stomach telling you to forget about that. Makarov waits, judgmental eyes locked on you, easily able to see the turmoil swirling in your eyes. He knows how to be patient, while he usually wouldn't tolerate disobedience, he knows he can't set up a hunting dog for failure and expect success so soon into your training.

His efforts bear fruit and you slowly shuffle forward on your knees. Even starved as you are, the wide span of your shoulders still forces his legs to spread wider. You hesitate some more, looking past his cock up at him, wondering if he really wants you to do this; is this a reward or just another way to tear you down?

"Do not make me repeat myself." He says, voice even and cool, but you're still perceptive enough to notice the sharp edge of danger in his tone, like a knife pressed into your throat.

Tentatively you lean in, fists clenching against your thighs as your tongue lolls out to hesitantly lick at his shaft. He doesn't rush you, doesn't degrade you, but his hand does settle on the back of your skull. You freeze, but he only hums, "Good dog." His hips twitch until his shaft bumps against your nose.

The hand on your head keeps you from pulling away, and your hunger soon wins out so you give a few experimental kitten licks. You start at the bottom, still uneasy about this, your tongue licking across his knuckles. Makarov purrs something in Russian you're not familiar with, his tone not sweet enough to make you think it's an insult, so you slowly continue up his shaft.

His precum mixes with the peanut butter, giving it a saltier tang that makes disgust curl in your stomach, humiliation making your face burn. Even your mind mocks you; Price's voice echoes somewhere in your ears "This is why we left you, you were just waiting for a chance to be a terrorist's whore." but that voice slowly gets quieter as Makarov's hand pets your head, making thinking about anything but the creamy peanut butter on your tongue difficult.

"Good dog, doing so well for me." Makarov hums, a pleased sound escaping his chest. The pleasure your mouth brings is miniscule compared to the sight of you - on your knees, eyes slowly closing as your malleable mind settles into static, drool smeared lips wrapping around his head to suck all the food your tongue missed - oh it's something else. He's seen many powerful men brought down to their knees, but nothing has ever made him harder than you right now.

You pop off his cockhead, chest frantically moving to draw breath, unfocused eyes staring at his drooling head before you look up. "Now wasn't that a good treat?" He asks, receiving your mumble in return, using your spaced out mind to smear more peanut butter on his head. "But you missed a spot. Go on, есть."

[struwberrii]

haikyuu!! at an american high school ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

here are my silly headcanons on how i think the karasuno first years would act if they were american high school students teehee

pt.2 pt.3

ヽ(^◇^*)/

hinata

probably runs to lunch

one of those dorky try hards in gym

wears matching neon nike shorts and tops

literally cries if he ever gets in trouble in class

water bottle flips randomly (he never lands it)

his mom drops him off at school every morning

jumps to touch the top of every doorframe

everyone judges him and thinks hes weird but hes gen the sweetest guy if you ever talk to him

he has a phone he just cant bring it to school guys

offers to do stuff first when the teacher asks (like brings attendance to the office or asks other teachers for dry erase markers)

middle school humor (hes kinda funny sometimes tho lol)

kageyama

lets you copy his homework because he knows its all wrong (or gives you wrong answers on purpose)

wears hoodies everyday even during summer

scared to put lip balm on in public because someone once asked if he was gay because of how he applied it

friends with hinata but is kind of embarrassed of him

girls actually like him but dont talk to him because hes so quiet

probably talks to girls from different schools

plays roblox with the others when they have breaks during practice (he hasnt updated his avatar since 2016)

still reads strictly picture books

also a try hard in gym

still does streaks on snapchat

tsukishima

refuses to acknowledge hinata and kageyama outside of volleyball club (he thinks theyre embarrassing)

constantly gets in trouble for having airbuds in or being on his phone

tries putting girls onto his niche music taste then its just cigarettes after sex

if you arent one of his friends or a pretty person hes probably gonna be rlly mean to you im sorry

has hot topic pins on his bag (yamaguchi forces him to shop there with him and tsuki always ends up walking out with a new pin)

dresses very basic but still nice

bros a bully

tries to correct teachers and make the teacher look dumb

if he can tell he actually hurt your feelings he'll say it was just a joke and gaslight you

him and yamaguchi just talk shit all lunch and study period

walks to like mcdonalds for lunch sometimes

yamaguchi

bully on the DL

the only reason people know hes mean is because tsuki is his best friend

always has fruit for lunch

probably in band and plays literally the biggest instrument in the world

he always smells weirdly minty

has the silliest stickers on everything, his notebooks, laptop, headphones

bought sonny angels for him and tsuki

everyone thinks hes gay

him and yachi are art class buddies

brings his switch to school sometimes

rides his bike to school

lowkey stuck in his 2020 indie phase

yachi

has the cutest stationary

takes all her notes on her ipad and has that paper texture screen protector

ali express warrior

shes the sweetest girl in school

probably a closeted lebanese

already has her drivers permit (probably gonna be the first person in her grade with a license)

packs her own lunches everyday in bento boxes

has a private instagram account with like 20 followers and declines everyone she doesnt know personally

always has lotion, gum, perfume, medicine, chargers, everything. she is not taking any chaces

shes like if the 2019 soft girl pinterest aethetic became a person

reminds teachers about the homework

secretly watches youtube during class

she does NOT play about her art projects

her and yamaguchi trade stickers

probably still uses that 2019 kanken vsco bookbag

⋆｡‧˚ʚɞ˚‧｡⋆

sorry guys half of this list is just me being an extreme hater and projecting

[beenbaanbuun]

brainless w/ song mingi

everything seems like a lot. sure, it was your idea to come to the mall in the first place, hoping the dizzying array of stimulants would keep your mind away from the tangled up we’d of thoughts within it, but now you just regret it. now you’re just looking for anything else to cling onto; you guess you’re looking for stability more than anything. it’s a good thing you brought your boyfriend with you.

your fingers loosen from the flimsy fabric of the dress you’d taken a shine to, dropping it miserably before turning around to face mingi. his zoned out eyes focus on the the moment your stoic face comes into his line of vision, and without so much of a moments hesitation, he turns his phone off and slips it into his pocket. he might be a little dopey with more than a few things, but making you feel seen isn’t one of them.

“what’s up, princess?” he smiles down at you, his eyes crinkling up as he smiles softly at you. it relaxes you every so slightly, but not enough to completely block out the incessant chatter from every angle, or the fluorescents that burn your retinas painfully. you sigh and take a pathetic step towards him. he wastes no time in opening his arms to invite you into his hold, and for some reason it makes your throat tighten.

“i feel bad,” you admit as you close the gap and dive into his warmth. you can feel his body heat through his thin tshirt, and even in the sweltering heat that has your clothes sticking to you uncomfortably, you can’t help but lean into the familiarity it gives you. as your nose nuzzles into the black fabric, a hand comes up to cup the back of your skull. you swallow thickly to quell the tears that threaten to spill.

now isn’t the time for that.

there’s a rumble in his chest as he hums contemplatively. it’s deep and gravelly, yet somehow still filled with a softness that you’ve come to associate with only your boyfriend. it’s like the soft curl of cigarette smoke, except without the pungent odour. the velvety texture of flower petals, without the threat of the thorny stems. the gentle lap of the ocean against the shore, without the threat of the undercurrent to drag you to your doom. in life, most beautiful things only exist to distract from danger, but not your mingi.

“what kind of bad?” he murmurs, minty cold breath brushing against your face in a way that has you relaxing further into his touch. you always have loved the smell of that menthol gum he chews; he claims it stops ‘the cravings’, although for what, you’re not sure. the poor man had coughed for minutes the last time he’d taken a drunken drag from his friends cigarette. “is it ‘hide from the world’ kind of bad?” yes, you think to yourself, that one. the type of bad that leads you to curling up under your bedsheets for hours on end, eating snacks depressedly from mingi’s fingers. you almost nod, but you sense he has more to say. you hang back, staring up at him as he wets his lips with a single swipe of his pink tongue. “or is it ‘let your mingi take care of you’ kind of bad?”

oh.

you seem to melt further into his touch at the mere mention of ‘letting your mingi take care of you’. it’s code for something much deeper; a ritual that only you and mingi know of. it’s sacred to your relationship, it has been from the moment the two of you stumbled across the nature of said ritual.

yes, you change your mind, you want that one.

and so you nod helplessly against his chest, eyes widening and going ever so slightly glassy at the mere thought of letting your mingi take care of you. you almost miss the way the corner of his mouth tilts up into a small smile, too focussed on watching the way his eyes glimmer with excitement. it’s as if he enjoys it as much as you do, in fact you’re almost sure he enjoys it more. something about this whole thing just seems to stroke that huge ego that seems to come hand in hand with having a cock. if you weren’t so desperate for him to turn that ego on you now, perhaps you’d roll your eyes and scoff at him.

“no good, princess,” he purrs, pulling the hand from the back of your head around to rest on your cheek. his thumb comes to rest on your lips, tugging at your lips to smear your lipgloss outside the lines you yourself had drawn on with your trusty lipliner. a quick glance around was enough to tell mingi that the coast was clear, or at least for long enough for him to dip the tip of his thumb into the warm confines of your achingly empty maw. it tugs at your bottom lip softly before pulling itself free with a gentle pop. he taps it once, twice against your mouth before pulling his hand away entirely. “i need your words, don’t i?”

the keen that his question pulls from your throat has him chuckling lowly. you watch as his cheek distends, giving way to the tongue that cockily probes the inside of it. he knows the effect it has on you, having watched you melt from just his egotistical gestures plenty of times in the past. as your eyes glaze over a little, it seems to have worked yet again.

“mingi,” you whine, voicing echoing through your mind as though it belongs to someone else entirely. you seem to have slipped quicker than usual into that familiar headspace that soothed you so much, which would’ve had you curious had your thoughts been anywhere other than the man in front of you. it’s not all gone just yet, but you can feel the remnants of your braincells slipping further and further out of your grasp by the second. you take in a shudders breath, “please mingi… take care of me?”

and how could he say no to that? he can practically see each thought slip from you one by one as your mind shrinks to nothing. he can see your tunnel vision forming around him, and your tongue get too heavy to speak any word other than his name. it’s such a beautiful sight, tugging at his heartstring each and every time he watches it happen. his pretty darling, brainless and his.

“of course, baby,” he ghosts a hand over your hair, giggling as you lean into his touch. even in public, you’re so shamelessly needy for him. it’s adorable, really, the way you so easily fold for him. he gives in, probably easier than he normally would, a single finger running along your cheekbone to gather hair to place behind your ear.

you purr up at him, and he matches it with a low, throaty hum of his own. “collar,” you manage to say through your haze, watery eyes looking up at him expectantly.

“when we get home,” he replies. it breaks his heart to see the pout of your lips, but creative problems require creative solutions. if you couldn’t have your collar just yet, he’s give you something else to ground you.

with one hand still playing with your hair, he lifts the other to his mouth, parting his lips just enough for his teeth to show. the hook over the heavy ring on his index finger, tugging on the jewelled metal until it rolls off the digit and onto his tongue. he appreciates the weight of it for just a second before once more scanning the shop floor for any potential voyeurs. no one, he gleefully notes before leaning down to your height and pressing his lips against yours in a soft kiss.

mere moments pass before you feel the cold touch of metal against your lips, and you open your mouth just enough for his tongue to force the through the gap provided by you. it drops weightily onto your awaiting muscle, pinning it heavily to the bottom of your mouth. it feels like lead against it, and you can’t lie and say that you’re not happy with the way it feels.

mingi pulls away slowly, eyes fluttering open to meet your own, hazy and completely thoughtless, just like you’d wanted. his gaze flickers quickly to your throat, watching the way moves as you swallow, before moving immediately back to your face. he admires the way your jaw moves as you fiddle with the ring in your mouth, watching in real time as the tense muscles in your face relax completely. he’s glad to see you happy, he muses to himself as he takes a step away from you and grabs your hand.

he can’t wait until he’s home and he can help you so much more…

[asliceofzosan]

because i woke up today still thinking of zosan's baby girl, here are some stuff about it that are now my roman empire:

none. i repeat NONE OF THESE STRAW HATS know how to hold a baby. sanji figured it out due to dormant maternal instincts alone. and more than half the time he has to yell at everyone to not hold her up by the calf or the ankles ("i'm looking at you luffy please for the love of the all blue do NOT gum gum whip her around like a toy—")

unlike both her dads, ayari is actually being extremely picky with food in the beginning. she hates certain textures and cries like its the end of the world when her baby food isn't heated to the right temperature. funnily enough, one of the few times she ate something she didn't want is if chopper is next to her eating the same thing and telling her its yummy. dw none of the baby food goes to waste. they're all re-used somehow in the week's menu. or zoro just ends up eating it.

ussop made a lil wrap around cloth for ayari so that sanji could cook while carrying her hands free. or zoro could have her strapped onto his back and nap while he does pushups.

robin could be seen reading books to ayari when both zoro and sanji are out cold and exhausted from being first time parents. one or both of them would wake up to find robin telling little ayari histories of the islands they visit, or the countries they've saved. she tones down some of the darker elements until she's old enough to grasp it. ayari grows up with auntie robin's love of wanting to know the world.

nami started doing her makeup with ayari on her lap. she shows all the different little products to her, letting her touch her brushes and everything. nami even "does ayari's makeup" too aka she just tickles her face with the brushes and pretends to put makeup on her so she feels like she's doing it too. when she's a little older, ayari asks sanji to join them and more often than not, sanji is making lunch with a full face of makeup done by ayari.

ayari's teething toy is a little plastic mouth sword. zoro is infinitely happy about it.

in the beginning, sanji tried to take up most of the parental responsibilities up until the point that he got too sick to even stand. he was stressed and exhausted beyond belief, actually pushing zoro away a lot. but when he collapses one day sporting a fever that was highly too reminiscent of when nami was sick after little garden, it scares him enough to finally seek zoro out for help.

and its not like zoro has not Tried to take the load off. its just that sanji was still fighting all his repressed feelings for zoro and this undue pressure hes put on himself to become a better parent than judge ever was to him. that he could raise this child with love and attention and devotion, completely forgetting that hes not the only parent.

zoro and sanji have a heartfelt talk about how the wish that was granted on that island was a blessing beyond belief. that theres a reason ayari looks like both of them. that she takes after both of them.

they both wished for this child in the deepest depths of their hearts. they wanted not just to be together but to have someone that grows up loved by them. cared for by them. not a restart or a replacement for a lost loved one like they first thought it was. but a child who sees them — zoro and sanji — and will one day wish to have a love like theirs.

oh also "luffy" is ayari's first word because zoro and sanji say it so often to stop their captain from doing dangerous shit while he's holding her. in line with that, her second word is "stop" so the first sentence she ever says is "luffy stop!"

the crew are hysterical over it. sanji stares into the void bc he wished for ayari's first word to be "dada"

he settles with the little joy of her fourth word being "marimo"

because her third word was "curly" (something he nearly strangled zoro for)

[deadsnothere]

Gunslinger Girl! pt.2

Synopsis - After getting a call from Garp, Alias made her way to the Baratie for a nice bite to eat and a long needed reunion.

Part 1

WARNINGS!! - READER HAS A NAME!!

Request - no, not taking them.

Word count - 2.5k

Speak Ali! - Both parts together make 5,340 words, it's evolved my brain man.

I saw this ending many ways. Deep diving for Luffy was one of the many.

I unclipped my gun holster so they fell right off my shorts and dove in after Luffy as soon as Arlong was out of my sight. Water made him lighter so it wasn't hard to get the hefty boy back onto land, with help of Usopp and Sanji of course. I hated it, watching him cough up water and choke like he did. I wanted to find the largest ice bullet known to man and put it in that stupid man's skull. Luffy Spoke, even if it was weakly. “Where's Nami?” Usopp spoke next. “She’s gone. She’s a member of Arlong's crew.” He gave up trying to stay up and just laid there. “No. She can't be.” Usopp was sitting with his legs open, arms resting on his knees, Sanji stood on his knees, and I was sitting on my left thigh beside luffy taking my button up shirt off all the way (the texture of the wet clothes on my body made me want to scream.) and grabbing my guns from their holsters to insure they were ok.

The Baratie’s ship bell rang. As everything slowly went quiet, nothing but me and Luffy's heavy breathing filling the thick sea air.

–

I was introduced to a sleeping man named Zoro. At that point both me and Luffy's clothes had dried, so we weren't dripping on him. I said hello, introduced myself and decided I was hungry so I walked out of the room to get something to eat. This is one of the only times I was sure Luffy wouldn't follow me to the kitchen. I knew he wouldn't follow because he doesn't eat when he's feeling guilty. Once he didn't eat dinner with Dadan because he felt bad for accidentally punching me in the face with his gum gum power but he felt better after we talked about it and he ate almost everything in the house that night. Me and Sanji had a lovely conversation, he's a bit of a perv but he's a gentleman so he definitely gets my respect, especially with those fighting moves i saw earlier.

“So how did a beauty like you meet him?” Sanji was chopping up some beef he brought from the Baratie. He asked if I wanted anything and I kindly asked for beef stew, because everything is better with stew, or soup! I was swirling some of the Marlot from the bottle I bought earlier around in a different wine glass. “Me and Luffy grew up together, he was a careless idiot. I think most of the time we spent together was me patching him up after he would fall from a tree or something.” He could tell the thought made me happy by how a smile drew across my lips in a thin line. It was subtle but those smiles were always the most feelingful ones. He nodded along with me laughing at my words. “And how did you become a warlord of the sea?” I clicked my tongue and laughed softly. “Now that is a long story for a different day. How did you become a cook?” He stopped what he was doing momentrally and looked me in the eye. “I was picked up by a cruise ship, the cooks took me in and taught me everything I know.” He continued to cook. “Except for the stuff the old bag taught me.” I laughed at the name and finally took a sip of my wine. “Well they did an excellent job teaching you.” I winked at him and he just laughed back.

I took both pistols out of their holsters and set them carefully on the table. “Where are your guns from, they look familiar.” I smiled and reached for one of them, holding it in my hand carefully. “Their names are Alice and The White Rabbit, both of them are Dual-barreled, they're quite sleek, I've always thought it was important to keep your best companions clean. They were given to me by an old friend I still hold close to my heart.” I set the gun back down and smiled at the cook as he poured some veggies into the pot. "One was named after her, and the other after her clean fluffy friend. We had a beautiful friendship, if only it hadn't ended so soon.” There was a morbid but soft feeling in the air. We both hadn’t been telling the complete truth but we really didn't care, we would tell eventually, either with the rest of the crew or not. The rest of the time spent cooking was silent, right until the end. When he was finished stirring the pot.

“So how long have you been in love with Luffy?” I spit the wine out of my mouth, my hand reaching up to wipe it off my chin. “W-What-” He held a smirk on his face as he lit up a cigarette he got from the pack in his pocket. “You don't look at him like your friends, and no one normal starts to physically shake when they see someone.” I winced slightly at the mention. Standing up from where I sat. “There are..certain things about me and Luffy that are platonic..and there are some that aren't. I've spent the last ten years of my life trying to figure out what he feels for me. And I'm telling you Sanji, it's not love.” I sighed and finished the little wine I did have left in the glass. I met face to face with Sanji a little ways away from the island, I reached up slightly and kissed his cheek, winking at him over my shoulder as I walked out of the kitchen. “Luffy’s a hard man to read, but I like a challenge.”

I walked over to the room with the loud voice effects and talking, walking into a conversation. “You scared ‘um off, huh?” It made me laugh, that is definitely not what I remember happening. Usopp agreed. “The Great Captain Usopp.” I was leaning on the door frame watching the once sleeping man talk from afar. “Yeah.” I smiled, it was sweet. “That is not what I remember happening.” Luffy looked back at me with a wide smile on his face, his hands starting to shake as he tackled me. “Luff!” The wind was knocked out of me as the rubber man was standing above me. “ALIAS!” he just looked so excited i couldn't bear being mad at him. “Hi Luffy.” His grin continued to spread, and I couldn't help but smile right back. His smile was like my drug, it filled my body to the top with joy, made me want to start giggling like a schoolgirl in love with her best friend. Which is what I practically was.

Luffy left a kiss on my cheek and I left a kiss on his forehead. “How have you been? I see you took to the pirate life well.” He laughed loudly and sat in the middle of the hallways in his own manor. His legs laid on the floor and his hands held the heels of his feet in them. “Yeah! you ready to join my crew now!” My face scrunched up when he said it. “Luffy- you know it's not a good idea-” He interrupted me anyway. “I don't wanna hear that, we made a promise.” I sighed softly and placed a hand on his cheek. “Luffy it's dangerous- Not only will you have the Marines after you because you're a pirate but you’ll be harboring-” He put a hand over my mouth, a fight of who can stop themselves from shaking longest.

I could feel Luffy's body start to tremble underneath my hand on his cheek. but at the exact same moment I started to shake, the callousness on his hand felt like mini kisses on my lips making a shiver go down my back. Which means I lost. I sighed softly as I took my hand off his cheek and my face started to turn red. Luffy had a smile on his face, knowing he won. “I don't care who comes after you, we made a promise. You need to keep your end.” He stood up off the floor and put his hand out for me to grab. My hand went up to his almost by routine but I didn't grab it just yet. “I would be putting you and your entire crew in so much danger..” He grabbed my hand, clasping it tightly. “We’ve been through worse-”

I unclasped our hands and jumped up to hug him. All he did was laugh and pull me up, his arms wrapped around me in his warm luffy way, I could feel his curly hair on my head and his warm hands holding my waist. When we pulled back from the hug, I swiped the hat from his head. “Well- Captain.” His face lit up like a light bulb and his hands started to shake. “I hope you're ready to set sail!” I walked back into the room. Both boys trying to act like they weren't listening in to the conversation happening very close to them.

Usopp looked between both of us and finally spoke. “So uh…are you two?-” I laughed as I took the hat off my head and placed it back on Luffys. Just ignoring the question. “Nice to meet you Zoro, I mean- awake this time.” He looked at me but closed his eyes right after. “Yeah the captain over there said he was waiting for you, Kept talking about you so much I almost thought you weren't real.” I looked over to Luffy, the little glint in my eye causing his hands to shake. Usopp patted Luffy's back, when the flustered boy looked down to the floor. All I could do was smile and answer back. “That's Captain for ya..” Luffy looked back up at me as I said it. There was a flirty tone in my voice but I think the other two were trying to give us a moment. “So I hear you're a gunslinger..and a warlord?” I nodded softly, looking over to usopp who i'm assuming told him. “Uh yeah..You know how it is- World's Youngest Warlord of the Sea..” I trailed off as I finished the sentence.

“How did you get that title at fourteen?” I sighed again, all three boys were staring at me with such intent in their eyes and ears. “I was kidnapped by the world government…They held me captive for years but when I turned fourteen they allowed me my own assigned pirate crew and just a bit of freedom if I did their dirty work.” Luffy hated that story, he always said. “I was stupid as a kid, I should've protected you.” and I said, “You were 9, if you tried to beat up those Marines they would’ve thrown you into a seawater tank.” It always made Luffy pout but it doesn't matter, it was the truth (And his pout is really cute).

Zoro looked like he was calculating that story in his head, trying to figure out the pieces. Usopp on the other hand looked confused. “Why didn’t you just run?” I laughed, it was a genuine laugh, nothing fake or out of anger. “I did, I ran- and ran. and ran. but no matter how far you run there's always going to be someone to catch you.” I sat down on a chair not too far away. “I once joined a pirate crew..i stayed on that crew for a year and that's how i got my name, but no matter what the government will always be back to get me.” Usopp let out a little ‘Oh.’ before Zoro finally spoke up. “So you're joining our crew?” I looked up at him, then glanced over to Luffy, who was waiting for my answer. “Yeah, if anyone has the best chance of keeping me hidden, I guess it's my oldest friend.” I winked at Luffy and Usopp did a little fist pump in the air, Zoro on the other hand was just laughing.

“So what do we do now?” Usopp was looking between all three of us, his gaze constantly going back and forth. “Plot a course for the grandline?” Luffy looked conflicted but also completely sure of himself. “Nope.” Now Usopp was the one conflicted. “But I thought we were going after the one piece.” Luffy looked so sure of himself, he was always confident and ready. “We are.” He looked down at Zoro and me, and then back up at Usopp. “But we can't do it without our whole crew. First..” He brought his straw hat back onto his head, now that it was dry it looked much better on him. “We’re going after Nami..” He had a small accent to his voice, it came from where we grew up. I was sad when mine had disappeared after being away for so long.

–

“Lot of dried meat in these barrels.” Both me and Usopp were bringing Barrels over from the Baratie for the adventure over to nami’s island and farther. “You think we brought too much?” The only difference was Usopp was sweating and carrying half as much as me. As I let the barrels drop on the ground, both me and Zoro spoke up at the same moment. “You know who you're sailing with?” Luffy was climbing the roping. “Yeah..”

The small moment made me laugh, instead of dwelling on it I continued along to grab the final three barrels from the baratie, but I was interrupted by sanji, who caught me gracefully when I fell into him after tripping on a loose board in the pier. “Heard you guys need a cook.” Sanji was still holding me close. “YEAH!” Luffy yelled, Sanji helped me stand up straight and I thanked him and looked up at the idiot who looks like he's gonna fall in excitement. “Yes, we do!” It was quick moving from then on. We finished supplying the ship, and quickly made sure to get out to sea in time. I was the ship's temporary navigator, but I would love to learn more from Nami if she agrees to join.

–

Usopp made his way down the stairs of the ship standing near Zoro who was sitting on the stairs behind him. “So we’re…we're going after Nami, but how are we gonna find her?” Zoro spoke up next. “Yeah, we don't even know where she is.” Luffy who was standing on the top floor of the ship said “I know someone who does.” Making all four of us confused and a bit conflicted about our decisions to join him. Everyone got up from their seats or made their way to follow him into the kitchen. When we got into the kitchen luffy was unveiling a clown head on the table, he was spitting out the sand from the bag that he was complaining about earlier. Buggy looked overly happy to see us, his smile wide. “Hello boys! and Misses Cat over there!” I rolled my eyes at the stupid name he’d given me. While Luffy looked so proud of himself.

@otaku-degenarate

[thescarletnargacuga]

BUSHWHACKED

A TIME CAPSULE AU SHOWTIME ONESHOT

AU credit @mangotangerinepastry @the-amazing-digital-time-capsule

A/N: a non-canon alternate sequence of events when Caine and Pomni fall into that bush at The Anniversary Ball

WARNING: make out

~~~

He tripped over the trail of her dress and fell into the bush next to the path, taking Pomni with him. Pomni fell back first into the mulch between the plants. Caine went into the bush itself and rolled over on top of her. He braced himself up by his hands and took a moment to focus, the whole world was starting to spin in the wrong direction for him.

Pomni froze, bracing her hands on Caine's shoulders to keep him from collapsing on top of her. He blinked the haze away and made eye contact with her. Pomni wetted her lips nervously as neither of them moved. “Are we-...are you…going to get up?” She asked with no real urgency.

“Do you really want me to?” Caine's voice dropped an octave, his eyes half lidded with unmasked desire.

Pomni hooked her fingers in his tie and gently pulled him down. “No.”

Caine lowered himself onto his elbows, closed his eyes, and very carefully pressed his bottom teeth to her waiting lips. She was everything he dreamed and more. So soft. So gentle. The alcohol in his system had nothing on what holding her like this was for him. For a moment, he could pretend he wasn't a prisoner of time.

Pomni felt him relax with a soft sigh. Her hand on his tie held the back of his neck, her other hand cupped the side of his jaw. She felt protected, having him over her like this. He shielded her from the horrors of the capsule, and with him against her lips she could only focus on him.

Caine would've been satisfied with this, but Pomni moved her lips. She curiously kissed against different teeth. His breath caught when she lightly sucked at his front gums. His whole body tensed and he tangled his fingers in her styled hair. His teeth parted slightly to exhale hotly. "Do that again." He whispered.

Pomni held his head down as she fervently kissed his gums just below his front bottom teeth. Caine moved slowly against her, adjusting to what felt good. The best he could do in return was press himself to her mouth, wordlessly begging for her. When Pomni licked up his teeth, he shuddered. A new texture, a new experience, all Pomni.

"You feel so good." Caine said breathlessly. He didn't trust himself to move against her. He kept his hands strictly in her hair or the back of her neck for new angles, but the rest of him was still. He let her do as she pleased.

"So do you. I didn't think I would enjoy kissing teeth this much." She chuckled at herself.

Caine's teeth opened just enough for him to see her. "I didn't think you would either. Thank you for putting a fear to rest."

Pomni hands wandered down Caine's shoulders, to the buttons on his jacket. "I wonder what other parts of you I would enjoy..."

Caine about fainted from overheating. His neck was so red it looked sunburnt. "You're going to be the death of me." He lowered his teeth to her jaw, lightly nipping at her skin, working his way down to her neck.

Pomni's eager hands popped the buttons to the jacket to feel closer to his skin. His thin dress shirt hid nothing from her exploring fingers. Her ankle dragged up the side of Caine's leg until her knee rested against his hip.

Caine risked a touch. His hand broke free of her soft hair and lightly held her thigh just above her knee. Pomni moaning lightly was his reward. He wished he had a tongue to taste her skin fully. The gentle bites would do. Her touching him and making noises he's only ever heard in dreams was more than he ever thought he'd receive.

Pomni sighed contently and leaned back against his hand cradling the back of her head. "You have no idea how long I've wanted this."

Caine lifted his head to look her in the eye. "If it's anywhere near as long as my desire, I'd say a while. You're wonderful, Pomni. I've never wanted this with anyone before. You're...a lot of firsts."

Pomni smiled gently and held a long soft kiss to his teeth. "Then I'm honored. We don't have to go farther than this..."

"I think BUBLE would hang me by my fingertips if I did."

"When the guests leave?"

"That's a different story." Caine giggled and kissed her.

Pomni smiled into the kiss and gripped his shirt to hold him close to her. His thumb caressed pleasant circles on her knee. They experience each other in a romantic slow dance in the hidden shadows of the gardens. It was bliss.

"CAINE! HEY!! CAINE!? YOU HERE!?"

Until reality reminded them it existed. Gangle came rushing through the gardens looking for the Ringmaster. He was needed back at the party.

Caine and Pomni got up in a panic, furiously wiping mulch off each other and trying to look presentable. Caine couldn't close his jacket, some of the buttons were snagged on Pomni's dress. His shirt was half untucked and his hat went missing when he stood up too fast. Pomni's hair was an absolute disaster, completely disheveled. Her makeup was ruined and she still had bits of mulch stuck to the trail of her dress.

Gangle came around the corner, seeing the couple trying desperately to pull themselves together. She covered her mouth with her hands, not to hide shock, but to hide her smile. This was some of the best teasing material she could ever ask for. She was never going to let them hear the end of this.

"Oh, hey, Gangle." Pomni waved nervously while trying to fix her hair.

"Hey. Having a little fun mid party? I had a feeling you liked to live dangerously, Pomni, but CAINE!? Mr. By the Book? My my my my my, this is interesting." Gangle's smirk came through her voice.

"Not a word." Caine grumbled as he finally got unsnagged from Pomni and fixed his uniform.

~~~

A/N: Okay! I think I got Time Capsule out of my system for the time being! What was I doing before this..?

[bibibi-tchx]

lil man doin arts and crafts with his cgs🥹

yes yes anon on it🫡

first thing first: he will be having some sort of plastic contraption placed onto whatever hes wearing, bcus the tjd cgs dont trust lil man to not get him self slathered with glue or glitter or paint or literally anything

rhea definitely tries to make it be an actual garbage bag cut out (i dont trust yall who didnt have a garbage bag used ) but damian does manage to wrangle one of his cooking aprons on to him, but dominik is still sitting there with his arms crossed, not at all impressed with seeing “worlds best papi” on his chest with his own hands printed on to it

because theres no way that dominik didnt make him an apron with his painted on handprints for fathers day. no way in hell. he so would have.

but alas, with the promise of paints and glitter in front of him, dominik gets used to it and pounces at all of the activities in front of him, proudly showing his caregivers every bit of art progress that he makes

“why are we letting him loose on like…10 canvases again?” from damian, watching dominik dip some cut out potatoes onto paint thats been mixed with about 5 other colours by this point- sure, hes having an absolute blast watching his baby boy explore all of the colours, and just exactly how much glitter is too much before either caregiver notices that hes pouring it onto the floor

“birthday season, damian. look at this.” rhea smiling, her arms on dominiks shoulders as hes having so so much fun.

“look, papi! is you! i maded papi!” dominik says, a very very giggly baby proudly showing damian a picture that does not at all look like damian, with the paint still dripping down onto the table, which is also covered with plastic sheets to try and prevent anything getting covered with more dominik arts and crafts related carnage

“oh wow! such an artist!” damian is right back to cheering on dominik, wincing at all of the random paint blobs that have worked their way onto dominiks face, fingers, and probably his hair too

then, it happens.

dominik is a very, very oral focused baby. like, more than is probably normal. but, they didnt wanna risk dominik’s favourite dark blue pacifier getting dropped into any sort of the paint, so he has pretty much nothing to gum on.

however, rhea and damian genuinely, yet so foolishly, believed that all of the different stimulating activities would distract dominik from the need to oral soothe. but, alas, after a while, dominik’s brain short circuits and the moment that his caregivers are distracted, talking to each other about random adult things that dominik has a very little mind to even think to pay attention to, he accidentally sticks his hand into his mouth and is introduced to the taste of paint and glitter that

well

it dont taste too nice.

his hand yanks itself out of his mouth, and before anyone even can clock on to whats happened, dominik has his tongue out and is just sobbing- he is utterly DISGUSTED that the paint didnt taste like purple! why didnt it taste like the colour? why!!!

poor rhea and damian are in caregiver panic mode, damian rushing to fill up a plastic sippy cup of water for dominik to swish into the sink, and rhea is taking the apron off about as quick as she can so as to not get any texture-related complaints from her purple-mouthed baby, picking him up from the chair and rocking him as shes walking over to damian

then in comes the battle of getting dominik to understand that he cant swallow the water, and he has to swish-gurgle-spit it out; it only baffled his mind increasingly more so.

like, hes snotty and sobbing, but hes mad still, “why? why? it icky! why? why?”

half why because, papi, why in gods name is he not allowed to drink the water? why????

other half because, once again, why didnt the purple paint taste purple??????

“you have to, niñito. you gotta swish- like mouthwash!” damian is desperate, trying so hard to stop dominik from tasting more of the paint than he already is

“mhm, you heard papi, baby blue. you can do this, little man. just like mouthwash. c’mon, dom.” rhea is holding the sippy cup to his lips, and he finally gives in

he still dont even get what hes done wrong, in all honesty. so hes all pouty about it, glaring daggers into his caregivers worry-riddled faces whilst he swishes and spits, “why it no taste purple?”

damian and rhea lose their shits giggling at dominik, which only furthers the angry tot dom further, “what? dilo otra vez, pequeño.”

“is no purple!” as though it cldnt make any more sense

rhea is CACKLING. damian is SHOOK. dominik is LIVID.

thank u anon !!

[pulsar-ray]

nobody asked but have my Branch headcanons :

MENTAL ETC

boy has autism. i'd say level 1 . big sensory issues & needs VERY LIMITED amounts of input. poppy helps desensitize him but. i like to imagine him with little sunglasses & headphones. a little odd socially too . he was always an outcast but you know what? we ball . he balled. he made it.

it's MY headcanon so i get to assign him a delicious dash of paranoia. maybe ppd? probably not ppd. but still very paranoid. ocd perhaps or severe gad at the very least. he thinks everything will kill him or is against him, severely. he tends to isolate when he's nervous. he copes by talking things out with poppy who is always so understanding & encouraging of him to try new things. they r in love <3

severe depression, pdd or mdd . he has to take medication [do trolls have medication. probably. it's , uh, holistic] but poppy always reminds him & makes sure he's on track

ptsd from the abandonment & grandma thing. sorry singing killed your grandma brother.

regresses as a way to cope because :3 i said so. the 'stuff' [pacifier] is LITERAL!!!! he only told poppy [he didn't tell her. she found out when he had an involuntary episode in front of her. she was confused but she loves him so it went well] & she is :3 about it. "ohoohoo my baby branch my bitty b ... yes you are" she thinks it is so cute but he is embarrassed . in tbt he revealed it a little to his brothers. &

john dory - doesn't really get it but likes seeing him be a little guy

bruce - just treats him like one of his kids tbh

clay - no way he also regresses. they are buddies

floyd - overprotective big brother mode all the way.

totally has meltdowns from overstimulation & poppy just. takes him to a dark quiet room & he thrives in there .

FAMILY

relationships....

john dory - big 'i hate you... bro' type of relationship. they don't get along but they respect each other. if my opinion of john dory changes maybe they will get along better. not now though/

bruce - COOL OLDER BROTHER!!!! branch looks up to him but he really also looks up to branch like.... bro survived on his own like that.....:cry: they are a little awkward sometimes but bond over engaging in activities together

clay - "hey buddy" "hey pal" ":}" ":}" very chill around each other. just calm. clay has similar symptoms in his autism so they get each other

floyd - besties for life... as much as he;d never admit it branch is So emotional so they talk things over & bond over deeper things like trauma & missing family. they are besties GENERAL

gets greyer some days & poppy ALWAYS makes an extra effort on those days to make sure he knows he's loved

hates the sensation of sneezing so much that he chooses to avoid new flowers/textures in case of allergies/dust [autism, baby]

can't really sleep. struggles with feeling alone at night but if he's with poppy he feels. odd & strange. why is there Somebody in my bed ?!

because of that last one he just passes out everywhere. boy is the eeper for real

had a crush on poppy the whole time since movie 1.

lowkey wishes he was 'normal' & cries about it sometimes. does this lead to meltdowns? occasionally.

was absolutely not a biter as a baby. mouth textures BAD!!!!

in the same vein, very picky eater. literally will starve instead of eating the same meals every week. mad respect for that branch i'm the opposite

hates gum with a passion. the texture the taste the noise is all terrible

gets very destructive when overwhelmed. like. screaming crying yelling hitting. but! poppy did a seminar on neurodiversity for those guys in there so they . kind of get it. they help branch not to get overwhelmed

i may do a part 2 if i remember more categories/hcs. god bless you branch

[sassypotatoe1]

Survival guide for the adhd/depressed/autistic newly established office worker:

Brought to you by a depressed adhd autistic who took 10 months to adjust to office life after starting to work their first full time job.

Food:

We all have trouble with food, no denying it, so how do you manage it? Well there's a couple of ways depending on your individual needs.

If you're like me and you will end up just not eating if you don't have food immediately accessible, keep a snack drawer. Empty an entire drawer in your desk, buy a combination of healthy and less nutritious snack food that's shelf stable in bulk. I typically get a bunch of packets of like two types of potato chips/crisps, a bunch of single serving packets of salted peanuts, single serving packets of dried fruit flakes because the solid dried fruit are a sensory nightmare, and a bag of lollipops. By 10ish when I need my first snack I pop a lollipop, and if I didn't pack lunch I have access to fiber, protein, fat and carbs.

I also sniffed around for a couple of months to find the best deal on safe food takeout, ie a meal that's filling, relatively balanced, cheap and fits my texture and taste sensitivities. When it gets too expensive I find another one. Once a week I allow myself to get that if I didn't pack lunch so I don't end up spending all my money on takeout but still get to eat well enough.

If you're concerned about overeating or eating less nutritious food, get nutritious safe food options. They're typically a bit more expensive and a bit less shelf stable, I keep instant soup with freeze dried veggies in my drawer in the winter, and I have a tub of ensure to make shakes if I feel I'm missing out on some nutrients. Focus more on dried fruits, pretzels, nuts, instant food with veggies and nutrient loaded fruit juice. Get ensure if you can afford it. In a limited way it can act as a nutritious meal replacement, but I mean limited as in once or twice a week. Do not replace all your meals with a nutrition shake.

When you buy fresh produce, process it immediately before it goes into the fridge/freezer. Don't let that head of lettuce wilt and rot. Pull it apart, wash it off, put what you're not using immediately in a ziploc in the freezer if it freezes, and put the rest open in the produce section of your fridge. Not only will it already be ready to use when you use it, if it's not in a bag or container where the moisture is trapped it remains fresh for longer. That or if you can afford it buy pre-processed produce, divide it into serving portions, freeze what can be frozen.

Buy. Ready. Made. Meals. I know microwave dinners are the butt of the depression joke but they're literally life-saving, because when I was really struggling with my depression and ARFID microwave dinners were my only source of nutrition for a while and it literally kept me from actually dying. Do not be ashamed to meet your needs.

Stimming:

Keep some of your fidget toys or stimming items at your desk. I keep my tangle and fidget cube there so I don't pick my eyebrows to hell and back. It doesn't always work but it's better than nothing. Keep chewing gum in your car. Chewing tricks your brain into thinking you're eating, which tells your sympathetic nervous system that you're safe. It helps you focus better on driving and keeps you a bit calmer making your reaction times faster and less impulsive.

Reminders:

Keep a pad of sticky notes on your desk, preferably a neon color, and all the pens you own that you don't care about losing. Set a reminder on your phone calendar, your computer calendar, your email calendar, on a sticky note on your wall, and in your physical diary. No chance of forgetting something if you do that, because you can't miss all of them.

Take some time to figure out your grocery list. What do you typically need in a month? Make a printout of that grocery list and keep it on your fridge and your phone, along with a monthly or weekly calendar reminder to go grocery shopping. Before you head out check what you still have plenty of and preemptively check it off on your phone list so you don't accidentally buy too much of something.

Keep a "what's in my fridge" log on your fridge. It makes you more aware of what's in there, how long it's been in there, and whether you should throw it out or eat it or leave it. Keep a chart of how long foods hold in the fridge beside that log. The log lists what is in the fridge, when it went into the fridge, when the product seal was broken, and the expiry date of the product. No more moldy fridge food.

Miscellaneous:

Assign care tasks to another task that's already a regular habit. Keep your morning meds by the kettle, and make taking out a dose part of the process of making your morning coffee. Pick a task you do daily at work, usually in the morning, and assign wearing your glasses to that task. I need my glasses to proofread the print dummies because the font isn't very friendly, so I accidentally got into the habit of making putting on my glasses part of the proofreading process. Brushing teeth is part of makeup. Showering is part of getting dressed. It's easier to complete these tasks if I don't view them as seperate tasks, but rather as steps in a different task that comes more naturally to me.

I keep sticky notes and pens in my car, as well as in my purse when I use it, so I can make notes of things when I need to. Car care notes go on stickies when I notice the need, then I'm reminded of it every time I'm in the car. I typically don't even have to read the note, I see that there is one and usually remember what it was about. This helps me remember what I need to do to maintain my car, because I have gotten in an accident and forgotten about it and drove around with a warped front fender for a month. I currently have a sticky note to get my tire pressure checked when I go home from work tonight on my dash.

That's all I have but TL:DR allow yourself to meet your needs without shame, no matter how strange or childish they seem, and find loopholes to your behavior for the best outcome for your health, safety and productivity. Like I said in the intro it took me 10 months to figure out these, so don't be afraid to take the time to figure out what works for you. It'll be absolutely worth it.

[deva-arts]

Hey Deva. what do your OC's mouths taste like.

I'M HAUNTED BY MY WORDS...

But okay sure fine I'll answer

First off we have a headcanon from Ritz:

Scrumptious!

Okay here's what I think:

Seraphina: She might not be too romantic, but she has excellent hygiene and doesn't go making out with Nathaniel without being nicely fresh. "It's basic courtesy to brush your teeth for a minute and thirty seconds before each kiss, Nathaniel. I would have it no other wa- ack- wait-" He really doesn't care and will try to sneak in more than a few sweet moments between work regardless. She'd like to say she's not a fan of canoodling during a tight schedule... But she loves that shit.

All this to say she probably tastes like mint. Or just a clean mouth. Sometimes energy drinks.

Nathaniel: Nathaniel is a doctor, but before that he was quite the playboy! Nate's pretty seasoned in the art of romance, especially since he's lived through so many different appearances. (He has to mind the teeth a little now that he is exclusively using this form, though...) He's always keeping nice with cologne and clean clothes, going a little extra on the mouthwash, etc.... Unless he is burning himself out doctor-style, then he... Just tries to keep himself showered and his teeth brushed.

Nathaniel tastes like mouthwash or breath fresheners when he's a spry rooster looking to woo Ser... But when he's tired he just tastes like mouth. He just wants some love. Please. (She stays in that day.)

Sonia!

Sonia makes sure her lips are fruit flavored so that her kisses can be "An experience that'll always make you crave me." Okay Sonia. But to be fair, she is a good kisser. Not only does she smell nice, her chemical synthesis ability essentially sterilizes and monitors the processes in her body, including harmful bacteria in the mouth. She would pleasantly surprise Nate if he ever needed to test a swab.

She tastes like cherry lipstick, the taste in your mouth you get right after brushing your teeth a third time, with a hint of something... lightly spicy? You find out later that it's acid.

Vincent! I'm not looking forward to writing this one WOOO

Vincent is an extremely... Meticulous individual. But only for certain things. For others he has no conceptual foundation and thus does not consider or practice them. He will shower three times a day. He brushes his teeth until his gums bleed. He bites his nails down to nubs.

But he will not moisturize, or do maintenance for the plentiful amounts of scar tissue on his body. His skin is rough and textured differently with every square inch you come across. His lips are chapped my guy. They're chapped bad. He smells a little weird too. Like feathers and gasoline, covered poorly with a plentiful amount of body spray. He also doesn't floss and eats anything under the sun.

His mouth tastes like the aftertaste whatever edible or inedible object he's eaten, with a hint of oral decay. He's a bad kisser the first few goes around too. His idea of cuddling is some rough pats on your back that feel more like the heimlich maneuver. Let's hope you caught him after he's brushed his teeth, at least.

(Human Vincent tastes like Cigarettes, beer, and whatever candy he popped in his mouth in hopes of ridding the taste of ciggies and beer.)

Amon:

The first occupational hazard lies in his teeth. They're very sharp. He has bitten off his own tongue before in several occasions. OW??? The second lies in his nice, plush yet firm body being a MUSCLE DEATHTRAP where he might squeeze you a little too hard and save you money on your next chiropractic appointment. (Actually, maybe still go to the chiropractor.) After that? He's a great kisser. He practices good hygiene (he has to lead Adra by example!) and smells like body spray used tastefully.

Amon tastes like a minty, mouthwashed mouth with a hint of copper. You try not to think about it too hard.

Eric!!

His mouth tastes like... Nothing? And not like mouth-nothing, more like water-nothing. His ability as a state-shifter makes all of the cells in his body convert into the cellular equivalent of a sea salp. Even though his humanoid form keeps these aspects of his body in a dormant state, where they process and function like normal, the green parts still retain that odd texture and quality to them. Of course, if he eats or drinks something that tastelessness is going to change.

Eric might also taste like pizza, cheap alcohol, toothpaste, or... lime Cool Aide?

Strohl!

Kissing a man who is basically a living electrical generator is not a good idea??? He tastes and feels like television static, and sometimes you hear some sparks actually flying on his end. He assures you that he has it under control, but in the same breath tells you not to surprise him if you wear conductive jewelry. Okay. This is fine.

Some say they like the feel of the static. Others take their leave early. He can't really blame them, so they leave, their NDA signed and a digital check bestowed to them. Katya is the first woman who was entirely immune to his power, and that made him feel much more secure with holding her close.

Strohl tastes like TV static, expensive liquor, and whatever dessert he's eaten earlier. He's a fan of sweets despite his workout regimen not permitting them.

Honorable mentions:

Titan tastes like blood,

Cain tastes like raw flesh and he will bite your tongue,

Karin Eris tastes like black licorice and your tears,

General Hayes tastes like your pillow and you realize it was, in fact, your pillow,

Aurelius tastes like a clean mouth that is getting a bit too high in temperature and oh god his power is on- TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!!

Farmer Dev tastes like those crisp root vegetables that have no implicit taste but are still classified as "green" tasting. Also peppermint- she chews a lot of it on the go.

[doctorwyvern]

random headcanons GO

in more modern times i think bart would unironically really enjoy the 70s, music and clothes

kyborg was taught to ride bareback on a horse, and that’s the way he prefers to ride

mudd is well read and one of his favorite books is hamlet. sometimes he quotes a lot of books and most times no one gets what he’s saying

bart uses any / all pronouns

kyborg lies about his height and tells people he’s six feet tall. lies.

gum gum braids friendship bracelets for all his friends out of colorful thread he makes so many it’s crazy, and when he can find them he adds trinkets and beads.

bart takes care of gum gums textured hair, and he prefers to have it in a protective style (so it’s out of the way lol)

mudd has a nervous tendency to rub or pick at his hair (especially in the shaved parts, i used to do this when i hand a mohawk lol)

kyborg physically can’t sit still for the life of him

gum gum wears shorts no matter the weather, and hates wearing socks (but bart makes him so his feet don’t get blisters)

kyborg extensively takes care of his hair now that he has a set place to live and he makes sure to brush and braid it every night for bed.

bart has an extensive self care routine and takes the longest to bathe. uses up all the hot water lol

mudd was professionally trained to ride horses and did it (begrudgingly) as a sport for a while as a boy. he liked being with the horsies and forming a connection with them, though

idk why so many of these are about horses but bart rides side saddle like a true lady

[gumclones]

so the thing about Bonnie is… she’s made of gum and doesn’t have bones. she has teeth—I think they’re human teeth but that’s for another post.

so anyways, I think interacting with her would be very odd! I don’t think she’s usually particularly sticky or anything, but her skin’s going to have a different texture than human skin! and underneath that skin, her entire body is gonna be a very consistent texture. the parts that you’d expect to be firm and unyielding (knees, shoulders, forehead… y’know, the places that would be bony on a human) are just a little too squishy and conversely the parts that you’d expect to be soft (cheeks, belly, &c) are stiffer than expected. I don’t know if it averages out, so to speak, but I do think that grabbing her forearm would be offputting!

and then… her hands. her hands! hands are SO bony! I think when she’s paying attention she forms the shape of knuckles and wrist bones but there still isn’t anything underneath so giving her a handshake would not feel the same at all.

[goron-king-darunia]

Eggtober 21st, 2023

"Strange Flower" or "Controversy" Overcooked Hard-boiled Egg with Mayonnaise

(Clip Studio Paint, Gouache Brush, Airbrush for Paprika and Pepper. 12 colors, about 30 minutes.) Woke up with this idea. Mayo is a controversial condiment and I 100% understand. I hate custard filling in things like donuts. It's goopy, a little salty, and it has that texture to it that screams to your brain that "this is uncooked and probably bad to eat." And I think mayo is like that for lots of people, but worse. Because it's salty and a little sour and that same "uncooked" texture all sends the same signal but more like "this is rotten and falling apart. It's not good to eat." But I like mayo. Maybe I just got introduced to it in a more postitive way than custard or creme pat. Maybe because most creme pat comes to me in a donut at room temp and mayo usually comes from a refrigerated jar. Maybe it's because both are a little salty and eggy and so mayo reads as "a good sensible condiment for burgers and sandwiches and slaw salads" while creme pat reads as an "aberration that could only be put in a donut by accident." But then I think humans just kind of don't like seeing fatty substances all in one big glob. Same way lard is a common cooking ingredient in many non-USA countries but people in the "northern" non-farming USA see lard and only think "byproduct" like bacon grease and feel a visceral disgust the way I feel about burger grease. I think a lot of things are like that in life. Some of it's genetic, like the way cilantro tastes like soap to some and like a tasty floral herb to others. Some of it is experience, like a taste aversion to plums after a bad summer. And some of it is social. How we're taught to be disgusted by "byproducts" because that's not the thing we're intending to make, or it only happens when the thing you're making turns out "wrong." Some of it is political. I'm sure you all have ideas. And I think, on the one hand, disgust is useful. We get sick if we eat expired foods. We can die if we eat the wrong berry or mushroom. Being wary of the new is safe. An on the other hand, unbridled disgust is the enemy of curiosity and growth and discovery. When we turn away from things that make us uncomfortable, we lose a chance to learn.

So on the one hand I think this piece is about my experiences becoming a more adventurous eater in my adulthood. I still don't like creme patissiere. But I'm not going to waste a donut because of it anymore. I don't like red bean paste. But at least I know what it tastes like now, and it's not just a blind discomfort around something new. I'll never get over how the texture of glutinous rice cakes remind me of chewing gum, a thing I've been taught to spit out. But I can understand why people like mochi.

And I think on another hand (many hands today) this piece is also about how @quezify plays with disgust and horror and beauty. And how that curiosity disgusts some people and enamors others. How it ties you in knots. How wound dressing and debridement are all at once an act of love and an act of mutilation. How there's beauty there in something so instinctively disgusting.

Dunno exactly. That's what the art's there for, I guess. To express what I can't quite put in words. I hope it's disgusting, and I hope it's beautiful.

I wonder if @lady-quen's breadbugs will have fun with this one?

Speed paint~

I don't know if my style can really render any gravitas to it, with how soft everything is, but I hope it speaks to someone.