#I tend to stick with just adding separate names

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Lol sorry sorry but I must confess that I also thought you were a Jikook shipping blog at first, not because of what you posted, but by association with others. At the time I discovered you, you frequently interacted with a now-deleted big Kookmin blog and another BTS music/Jikook blog. It quickly became clear to me that you weren’t one! I can see how someone might unknowingly lump you in with the shippers a year ago but it wouldn’t make sense to assume that now.

Oh anon, you're making me laugh, lol. Fascinating nonetheless because everyone's perception is so different and it certainly doesn't reflect what I believe I was doing back then.

Me frequently interacting with an ex-Kookmin blog was me talking to my friend about BTS and the fandom, never touching on the subject of jikook as a ship and with the other blog as well. Both may have had posts about the ship, but that's not the part that ever became part of the discussion. My guess is that the name/label is used as an indicator of what that content is about, despite the conversations held being about other stuff.

Also, it would actually be harder for my blog to be lumped up with shipping blogs a year ago. I posted way less, I was focused on more serious posts, I was less friendly because my interactions were different due to the way I wanted to manage this place. I've actually talked more about my "faves" from a fan perspective in the last 6 months or so.

But I appreciate you sharing your first impressions. It does make me wonder and possibly explore how people perceive certain bloggers and content and what labels are then attributed to them. And consequently, what others believe is a shipping blog. Perhaps my definition of it is different. To me at least, talking about the men who are part of a popular ship within this fandom does not turn into shipping posting. It takes more than that. It's about the perspective through which I talk about them which is significantly different from how shipping blogs do. I mean, I wouldn't make the confusion, but others may see it differently.

[a-tiny-frog-girl]

BORROWER HEADCANONS

im bored, I should be writing but here's some of my favorite borrower headcanons instead (ask your headcanons or ask for more of mine or clarification!! I love this stuff!!)

borrower "culture" isn't really a thing. If you found two borrowers from separate places and asked them what holidays they celebrate or if they have a hierarchy, they'd most likely give you completely different answers (that means the rest of the list is basically only true for some borrowers in my head)

borrowers don't track time like humans. Ofc they still have like morning and evening and so on, but they don't have hours or minutes or years in the way we use them.

Adding to the last bit, borrowers don't do birthdays. Since they don't really have numbered days, at most they remember whether they were born in early or late (insert season here). Age is counted by seasons and being an older borrower usually means being respected far more.

borrowers don't really do gender. it's really not a big deal when you're fighting for your food and life constantly. Pronouns are just things they borrow from humans, they're not really attached to them.

skirts and dresses are impeding to most borrower things so wearing them is either luxurious and shows that a borrower doesn't need to work or lazy. Again gender isn't really a thing so they can be worn by anyone as long as they don't need to be constantly alert.

hair length is usually a personal decision. Long hair is warm and can be tied up easily, but can get caught in things and does take maintenance. Not as much maintenance as human hair would at that length, but still some. (borrowers can usually brush the tangles out of their hair with just their fingers.) Short hair is a lot more permanently out of the way but often needs to be cut fairly regularly to stay at that length.

hair color can affect what length borrowers choose to keep their hair at. Black haired borrowers might keep long hair and even put it semi down so they're harder to see in the darkness. Red or blonde haired borrowers might have to keep it short because it could easily get them spotted.

borrowers that live/work alone tend to be more cutthroat than colonies of borrowers. They can't rely on much and if you are hindering their work they will cut you loose so fast.

on the other hand, colonies tend to be more strict about rules and such. The rules vary greatly, but they tend to stick to them and not forgive even small transgressions. Basically if you're a rule breaker you're gonna get yeeted.

if a lone borrower is crazy, it's kinda just like eh, they're alone so long it makes sense for them to be like that. Often if they aren't like actually just randomly biting people, they can still be decent ally's.

if a colony is crazy, you're fucked. That is a borrower cult, my guy. They have already completely convinced themselves and each other that they are the sane ones, there's no way to get through to them. Plus they tend to have the numbers to do really bad things, for instance: sacrifices.

some borrowers do have religion!! It can be anything from whatever religion the humans had put through a game of telephone or something humans would consider to be a lot like witchcraft!

Borrowers often get their names from 1. human names (usually misheard or misspelled) 2. something precious to the parents, like how some humans are named after gems 3. just a random word that someone heard and decided would make a good name, or 4. another borrower.

moving house is just as dangerous if a borrower moves into somewhere with borrowers already as if it's an empty place. The best scenario would probably be a group of borrowers too small to be considered a colony that don't mind sharing or a recently evacuated home. (you would have to consider why they left, though.)

borrowers sit wherever they goddamn please. on the floor? yep. on the edge of a table next to a drop that would definitely kill them? yeah, sure. on top of a borrower sized table? it's comfy! wherever they happen to be standing and find out they're going to be there a while? just plopped down on the spot. They are also incredibly fast at getting up, so there's no worry about being stuck sitting when something happens.

beds aren't really a thing for borrowers either. They have to be able to sleep wherever they are so they don't get tired and make stupid mistakes. The closest thing to a human concept of a bed would probably be a few comfortable scraps of fabric in a bit of a messy nest. Easy to move and rearrange. Some borrowers just sleep on the ground or cuddle with other borrowers.

Candy is as precious as gems. Unfortunately, just about as useful as them, too, but sweet things are hardly ever left out or abandoned.

The main overarching rule for borrowers is don't get caught and if you do, don't reveal the rest of the borrowers to humans. Different rules spawn from this like don't speak to humans or don't go out during the day or whatever, but those are the ones all borrowers basically would get as a kid.

Borrowers are kind of desensitized to violence and death. All their lives they are constantly thinking about it possibly happening, and depending on where they live, may have seen many others bite the dust. It's just a part of being a borrower.

Borrowers have INCREDIBLY dark humor. They'll absolutely be joking about how their best friend got severely injured the moment they're safe. Maybe even before depending on the borrower.

Some borrowers are more animalistic than others. It's a trait that's sort of passed down like what eye color you have. Some borrowers have cat-like eyes that adjust to the dark well but are mid sighted and color blind. Some borrowers can purr or chirp. Some are more capable of eating raw meat or random stuff they find on the ground. Some have tails for balance or animal ears.

Many borrowers have weird special talents that seemingly come out of nowhere. One may be able to jump stupidly high while the other can smell everything and discern what is going on in the next room.

borrowers get overstimulated SO EASILY. loud? no thanks. lots of movement that they try to automatically track all at once? eugh. bright colors that hurt their eyes and distract them? bad.

crows and borrowers often have symbiotic relationships. Borrowers share a little food and time/conversation and the crow distracts the human or gives them a ride or protects them from other animals. they are friends <3

Most borrowers don't have any other name than their first unless they live in a place with a LOT of other borrowers and need to distinguish where they're from.

TLDR; I never stop thinking about borrowers. I am a borrower nerd. I will keep on talking about this forever.

[ephemeral-sorrow]

family life with 21 year old!twelve [part 1]

okay, i imagine this as some kind of a happy ending AU, where twelve doesn't get shot by american snipers and sphinx manage to bring charges against the japanese government without being captured.

however, this path would take two significant turns, depending on whether nine survives his illness or not.

if his health isn't completely destroyed by the drug: let's bravely and responsibly face the fact that both nine's body and mind needed profound rest, given how long he suffered and endured the after-effects of the medicine the scientists forcibly injected him. he stubbornly ignored his condition in order to finally reach his and twelve's goal and make institutions of such kind exposed to light. being so mentally strenuous only added fuel to the deadly embers.

after the whole ordeal was over and shibazaki attracted the public attention, sphinx alongside you went into hiding, spectating the long-awaited occurence with a strange feeling of solitude. as if... all of it was rushing past you three in a swift motion. the world drowned in the informational uproar, making you wonder whether you truly once were in the centre of it all.

the first priority was to get nine tended to. his panic attacks worsened during the operation he conducted on his own, so you and twelve had no choice but to find a way to get a proper treatment for him.

for the sake of this canon, let's accept the idea of nine not revealing his face in the final video. provided with that, you managed to change your identities and get new documents without much effort, as you did all the time in the past. not wasting any time, you found a high-level clinic in the outskirts of tokyo and had nine accepted. later on, during passing months you visited him regularly and made sure he was indeed getting better. after discharging, the three of you once again went back to living under the same roof. after everything you went through, it was... extremely necessary for your group to stick together and think about the possible future. you didn't imagine your life to be separate.

if nine dies after handing over the detonator to shibazaki: twelve mourned for his friend like a wounded crow that lost its faithful companion. you did your best to comfort him and provide as much warmth and support as possible, all the while suppressing the tears of your own. surely enough, more often than not, twelve put on a brave face and kept pushing himself to think on the brighter side, but you knew him all too well to turn your eyes blind to it. at some nights, in the darkness of your shared apartment you caught him crying silently by the window. at times like these, you found yourself unable to just stand there politely and watch him break down. you scrambled out of the bed and ran to hug him, pressing yourself impossibly closer to his shaking body.

the pain was undeniably strong. you realised that every single time you looked into twelve's warm orbs and saw the thoughts reflected in them. both of you knew you needed to go on with life and not allow yourselves to fall into the pit of despair.

twelve took the major step towards.

"i want to change my name."

you looked over your shoulder, as you were stirring the stew in the frying pan, surprise and mild apprehension written all over your face. of course, you two have discussed the topic before, but you still were caught off guard.

"are you sure?"

twelve found comfort in the fading warmth of the coffee cup, thoughtfully looking at black drops that were left inside.

"yeah. not only that, but i guess i want to change my birthdate and place of birth. won't... hurt."

"somehow... you feel different about this sort of thing, even though you've done it countless times before."

"it wasn't serious. i didn't mind changing names because i thought it wouldn't affect my life one way or the other. i would still be me. heh, some part of me even considered that fun - you know, changing your "username", as if it were some kind of a videogame."

twelve's smile gave you a bitter sensation on the tip of your tongue. you felt the familiar constriction in the throat, as you quickly turned away to the sink. he was doing it again. hiding his pain behind a smile.

and it hurt you more knowing what he was on about.

he was going to...

"i want to start my life completely anew. like a whole different person. i will apply for college, find a part-time job, attend student gatherings, fret over the strict teachers. things everyone does. that'll be so cool, don't you think--"

"are we going to erase him just like that?"

your quiet voice held no condemnation. though you'd be lying if you said that you hadn't felt a pang of regret. you just wanted to hear twelve's answer. you couldn't go on living if he just chose to stuff the agony deep inside and ignore it, pretending to be okay and ready to restart. you had to know he truly let go. otherwise... otherwise...

twelve hugged you tightly, turning away the stove behind you. you hugged him back eagerly, heart pounding in the chest.

he was touching your back in a soothing motion, effectively calming you down.

"sh-h, sweetheart. it's okay."

"what is okay about all this..." you sobbed, clutching his shirt. closing your eyes, you breathed in, growing addicted to the feeling of being comforted by him, not that it was the first time.

"i'm not forgetting him. never. nine remained, remains and will remain in my heart. i feel happy that he got our wish fulfilled and passed away with peace. at first, it was really hard for me to move on. but now i know i have to live. so don't worry about me." having said that, he caressed the side of your face and made you look up to him. then he pressed a tender kiss to your cheek. "we have each other now. let's try and create something truly beautiful for once instead of blowing everything up? ^^"

"twelve..." you weakly hit his chest with a fist. "you're such an idiot."

"your idiot. there's no getting away from me now."

twelve especially requested that you would help him choose his new name; and upon looking at his blazing smile, you instantly came up with an idea - akira 明 ("the light coming from the sun").

as for the date of birth, twelve didn't think too long.

"then... let it be the 15th of june."

"that was fast. did you think about it beforehand?"

"no. that's the day we've met, silly. i want to celebrate the most important event of my life as my birthday."

[autumnslance]

You get two: ⭐ for Bearing Sins of the Past while it's still fresh in your mind; and a fresh ⭐star⭐ for something you've been dying to talk about, well, here is the invitation to do so and a venue to boot! (@driftward)

Reblog this if you want readers to come into your ask box and ask for the “director’s commentary” on a particular story, section of a story, or set of lines.  Or, send in a ⭐star⭐  to have the author select a section they’ve been dying to talk about!

Who's the menace now, coming in here with 2 requests? But sure.

Also: this prompt was sent by my beta reader for the named fic, so they have seen the major parts of the revision in full!

Bearing Sins of the Past is something I have plonked at for the last 2+ years between other writing projects; sometimes editing and rewriting things there could help shake dust loose when another story had me stymied. But with Endwalker, This Home Wrested Forth for the DRKzine, and life in general, it just took awhile.

Part of that were some scenes I felt I wanted to add, and going back and forth on whether or not I wanted to keep the single sex scene in the Ao3 posted work. In the end, though it's not actually Aeryn's conception (I specifically made the timeline not match up even during the 24 hour prompts), I felt the scene did show not only some effects drinking Avengret's blood had on Corran, but how he felt about his wife, aspects of their relationship, and their conscious decision to have another child--without Corran knowing or thinking about the effect of his choices on said child.

Adding in a scouting scene with Heustienne took much longer to sort out, and it's still obviously a bridge chapter, but it gives her a little more time in the story when so much else is focused around Alberic and Corran, or from Estinien's POV. The scene with Tarresson and Gullinbursti from FFXIV Write is gone, but replaced with a new chapter after Aeryn learns the truth, one I'd already had half-written back during the 2021 challenge, actually, but found no room for in those prompts. I also wanted to keep Emelia's voice in there; Corran tends to put her on a pedestal in his POV chapters. Her chapter is heavily shuffled around, as it has to do with memories and what triggers them (and the later vignettes from Thavnair are gone).

I spent a good chunk of time moving sections of text around, recombining chapters; some were obvious, others were not. Some things shuffled around to many places before settling where they belong.

Also sorry, FCmates, but in interests of fairness and a tad less confusion, the cameos are gone. I may still tweak the climactic scene, actually, and remove my other OCs and stick to NPCs entirely. Haven't decided and I have time yet; I just posted chapter 1 yesterday and that's chapter 15, after all.

I really don't stop iterating and editing until I actually post. After that, it's generally just minor typo and wording fixes.

==

And I am making Biot send me separate prompts cuz there's always more to yell about but this is long enough!

[transwhorefinn]

Assigning jrwi characters enneagrams: Chip

ohhh boy so. My first thoughts were: he’s either a 4 or 7. Hear me out here I heavily think he’s a 4 deep down (this is not because I, Chip kinnie, am a 4 haha). At first I went straight to 7 due to 7s having the materialistic uncaring for nothing but being constantly indulged euphoria stereotype which we see early on with Chip but then I thought about it and I was like “nah that’s so surface level of his REAL traits” which we’ve been shown. So let’s analyze this bad boy

I am going to be using the enneagram institute site because I find it pretty good at just calling the shit out each of the types so.

First off

This

Literally

Screams

Chip (maybe not the temperamental, though he probably is very emotional he’s just been suppressing it)

Now, can’t say we’ve seen Chip at his best so can’t attest to those traits but the “moody and self-conscious” definitely, despite his arrogant facade he has a lot of doubts about himself from his insecurities about being captain to his relationship with the term “bastard”, he knows his flaws and his confident facade is just a faucet of ignoring his insecurities.

(Random note:

What, I mean what little I know of Rumi they’re probably a 4)

Again with the Chip deffo has low self-esteem and his “I’m the best and I know what I’m doing” act is just covering for it. The “Fantasy Self” something Black Rose pirates, just like Arlin yeah yeah Chip doesn’t think he, himself, is good enough and he needs to be someone different or follow someone/something else to be Something.

Whatever the fuck Chip was doing during the Grimm arc murder mystery party thing. Chip taking on parts of Gillion now (the shape water and etc). He has disguise self too. Oh and he lit copied Arlin with the tattoos and clothes and yeah.

Holding onto the Black Rose pirates and Arlin despite the wonderful future he has in store with the Riptide pirates. Fours fucking love sticking to bad stuff and kind of victimizing themselves.

I think this is self explanatory….

So yeah… Chip is a 4. (Okay well I can’t exactly say he’s a 4 because there’s the fact that a lot 4’s turmoils happens internally (shit like fantasizing about other worlds yada yada, ofc not every 4 needs to do this but y’know) and we don’t get that many glimpses into Chip’s head and stuff, also most 4s have a creative artistic factor to them (ofc not required) and idk I mean if we consider his grandeur dreams such as when they were making the blueprint for the Albatross parts of that show)

So now onto the harder part! The wing!

Two options

4w5 and 4w3

I say 4w3 (deffo has no correlation with me being a 4w3 hahhaha)

So 3s are driven by the fear of being worthless and the desire of being valuable. They have a tendency to strive so much to be successful they become so separated from themselves they no longer know what they want, not what other’s want, but them. We see some of those traits of 3 during his conversation with Nicklaus, when he answers Niklaus’ question of what he wants, his first three answers are about other people. Finding Arlin, helping Ollie, win the war. And then he says “Be free, sail around the sea and mess around with a stick all day”.

To prove why he’s a 3 and not a 5 we also need to discuss 5s

So 5’s, their core motivation is knowledge, to understand the world around the, to know everything as a way of protecting themselves from the uncertainties of the world. Anyways I really don’t think Chip is exactly seeking knowledge. Also 4w5 tend to be the “artistic introvert” of the two with 4w3 being named “the aristocrat” think theater kid vs art student (Chip would totally be a theater kid omfg).

ONE LAST THING

I gotta put the Enneagram songs by Sleeping At Last to solidify my point

Listen to it. It’s Chip.

And added with 3

Anyways so thanks for coming to my TEDTalk I’ll probably do one for Gillion and Jay and probably more characters but y’know

Looking at my paragraph it’ll take a bit.

Further readings:

[miss-celestial-being]

𝖆𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗

➾ 𝖒𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝖎𝖓𝖋𝖔:

name — bee (moots can call me belle)

age — 15 (surprising, right?)

pronouns — she/they (tho you can call me whatever you like)

sexual orientation — i..... idfk anymore

country — america

time zone — pacific standard time (pst california)

➾ 𝖆𝖕𝖕𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖊:

white, natural wavy/curly brunette (tho i dye my hair every now and then)

aesthetic is all over the place but i tend to stick with boxy graphic/band tees or really big sweatshirts, mostly muted colors with a small pop of bright color

plus sized, tall, faint freckles and moles, lots of acne bc ✨teenager✨, a bunch of stretch marks and cellulite

➾ 𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞:

hogwarts house — slytherin (tho i got ravenclaw once)

three big signs — gemini sun, sagittarius moon, libra rising

personality type — istp-t

➾ 𝖒𝖞 𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌:

i dont have any separate blog for shitposts and rants or interaction with friends so expect that all here. i like to think i'm a pretty friendly person (at least online) so feel free to talk to me anytime!

i write for many fandoms, including, harry potter, stranger things, the 100, and bridgerton. expect more to be added as i get invested in more and more shows and movies.

original ideas are hard, i get that completely. and sometimes you don't remember exactly where you got the idea from, which is completely fine. i do not expect any credit to be given if i inspire your writing, that's just part of the process. as long as you're not blatantly stealing anything, we don't have any problems.

if you would like to translate my work or post it somewhere else, please message me. i'm pretty chill so don't feel threatened or anything. if you find my work good or interesting and would like it to reach others, just make sure to get my WRITTEN permission and CREDIT ME!! if you don't, you will be reported and blocked. i may be chill but i DO NOT tolerate plagiarism, it is ILLEGAL!!

if you have any complaints or concerns, please feel free to message me or send me an ask as long as you're not rude about it. i'm always looking for ways i can improve, whether that be in my writing or as a person. i love getting feedback, it really helps me learn and grow

i will never be one of those blogs that block people if they spam like bc i understand that there are blogs that don't wanna have any posts on their blog or they're ashamed they're reading fanfiction or it just doesn't match what they talk about on their blog. and i do appreciate likes because it shows me what y'all like and if i should continue making something or writing about a certain character. i also appreciate the few reblogs i do get because it really helps with the algorithm, so thank you <3

➾ 𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖒/𝖋𝖚𝖓 𝖋𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖘:

i hate the feeling of velvet and felt, i feel physically sick when touching it. its basically like nails on a chalkboard.

i have a cat named oreo, who i am convinced is a velociraptor in disguise (velociraptors can open doors, that's why). She likes to open my door with her mind powers and/or knock on it and scream at me till i open it.

i love frogs and rats so so much, i really want them as pets (which is kinda hard with a cat so im probably gonna get them when i move out).

i have an "irrational" fear of spiders. every time i see one i either scream for someone to kill it, hyperventilate, or cry. my mom gets pissed at me for asking her to kill them

i've been biting my nails since before i even had a developed memory. my therapist thinks its from past anxiety that's become a habit.

i have a depression and anxiety, i also have a hard time paying attention and tend to fidget with things (usually cracking my knuckles)

i have issues with confrontation, most likely caused by ptsd (according to my therapist). i usually cry when someone yells at me or looks like they're gonna hit me (unless i started the fight and it's with someone that's either younger than me or shorter than me)

i have a tendency to focus on my insecurities for too long and begin to think i'm unloveable, which is no one's fault, i'm just a dumbass.

i love every single one of you to the moon and back, nothing will change my mind.

[haialliecat]

Writing because I can’t sleep.

The freezer is making weird noises.

Roxy is awake still - she’s going to be so tired tomorrow

I’m going to be so tired tomorrow

I’m happy I have the day off

I tend to vape when I’m stressed but I don’t think it’s helping me become less stressed.

I was smoke free for years before he came back into my life and now I’m vaping again. Every single day.

I vape as a way to bite my tongue when he says something I don’t agree with.

He talks about how happy he is when we agree on something but then he dives deeper and we really don’t.

How can he think I’m the one for him? We are so different. I’ve just stopped responding to him shutting me down or cutting me off.

I want to tell him that I love someone else.

I desperately want to tell him the truth but I’m afraid - of his anger, his sadness, his manipulation, the power he holds over me. I don’t think I’d be where I am without him and that makes me feel both grateful and resentful towards him.

I’m so upset with the one I love and all I want is to tell him what’s going on so I can feel my feelings and not have to worry about hiding it but I’m worried he’ll twist the narrative on me.

Why won’t he just fucking talk to me!! Ugh the sending songs was cute at first but how long is this to go on? How long am I to wait and deny myself open doors when the one I want most is locked shut.

You always run from me. Like a coward. Making me feel like a fucking psycho who’s delusional and obsessed with her ex. You’re a liar. I wish you’d shed that shit and just talk to me because I know you miss me like I miss you. But you have a life, a girlfriend even a fucking dog yet you’re sending me songs and idk what to think anymore.. maybe you don’t feel the same way?

Maybe you do?

Will I ever know? I mean like really know. How can I when all I have to go off of is songs from a Spotify I was brought too after having a dream of the person I’m supposed to be with. That’s literally how I came across this. I was asking the universe to bring me in contact with the person I’m supposed to be with which became the playlist Alice to Kyle and I can sense how you’re doing or things you want to say to me through that and tarot cards. It’s crazy and blew my mind.

I sent you letters through playlist and had received letters back from you from other playlists. I did special playlists for you for full moons and things like Canada Day. I asked for your email so I could write to you. You showed me a dark place and I still loved you and told you I would save you. You sent me a very long playlist with a confusing name- SATL I didn’t understand I’ve written absolutely tons of possibilities of what it could be. I used that playlist to write more and used my own music to make playlists again and again with no response until one day I received a long playlist with one band and it broke my heart. But there was hope. I wrote back with a different band expressing my own pain in the situation and then got and even more firey expression of love from you. I literally cried. Now there is only one playlist, the c’mon one which has been edited, altered and added to and all I can think is you don’t know what to think. You don’t know what to pick.

One day I will show you everything I’ve written about you. One day I’ll show you that I’m committed to our union. But I will not wait away, waste away. I promised 27 and I will stick by that but not even trying to contact me. Breaks my heart. How can you confess your love to someone after years saying how you’ll always love me, you’ll never stop loving me.

Why did you reject me? Again. You’ve rejected me several times. I don’t know why. All I wanted was you. And you sent me away each time. You’re always running from me and I’m always left chasing after you. I hate chasing you. But I can’t express how desperately I want this. Want you.

I get so sad thinking about you. When I’m at work I pretend I’m in another dimension where I am completely separate from my personal life. It’s the only time I have to get away from thoughts of you.

I see your initials in license plates and your name pop up on my for you page on tiktok. I stopped being friends with a girl who fed the notion that we are meant to be together in my head- I hate it. This silly romantic idea that after all this time you’ll still pick me.

But where are you? You’re not here. You don’t even try to be here. I’m hurting to hear your voice again. See your face, touch your skin.

WHAT TO YOU MEAN YOURE THE MAN IN THE BOX? What do you mean you’re stuck? You’re not reaching out to me so how the fuck can I know this is what you want? SAVE YOU? HOW? HOW WHEN IDK IF YOU EVEN WANT THIS ANYMORE.

Fuck this hurts so badly. Love shouldn’t hurt like this.

Maybe I’m supposed to listen to the whole album?

Idk man I’ll give it a go see if anything resonates.

First song : I genuinely don’t get it. I wish I could play hero and save you from whatever you’re going through but how can I when you don’t even talk to me. I wish I could.

Second song: Rude. Honestly, fucking rude. You sound like you’re really annoyed that I’m in your thoughts and in your heart. I always have been. You just can’t run from yourself like you can me. Fucking coward with a cold heart playing pretend like you don’t fucking love me too. All this does is piss me off. You can live your little life in your little world where you have a cute girlfriend and a cute dog but in the back of your mind you know. It’s me. It’s always been me and you’re afraid of how much I make you feel.

Third song: you’re going through some shit and I understand. I think I’m just angry that I can’t talk to you. Feeing like you aren’t good enough or something. Saying you don’t care. It all just fucking hurts man. I don’t have any fucking spell over you or any of that shit. You feel things for me- because you feel things for me. Simple as that. I’m getting this vibe that you don’t want to think about me though. You’re doing everything in your power to block me out.

Fourth song: I can’t write about this. Honestly this whole thing is making me feel like shit.

I can’t - this sounds like I’m a poisonous addiction to you.

I’m going to next album in the playlist.

[ghostofpolaris]

RP Ad 11/20/2023 📰

[UPDATE 11/23/23: If I do not hear back from you in a week, I will assume you have ghosted and will dissolve any RPs we have. Please understand, it is incredibly disheartening hearing nothing back after weeks at a time. I understand if you have IRL stuff going on, but please give notice at the very least. I think it is only polite.] Howdy everyone! My name is Ghost and once again I am here with an updated RP ad for this account (gosh time flies and so much has changed! <3). I am hoping to find a couple different RPs with someone 21+ (as an adult I just don't think it is comfortable for me to try and RP with a minor sorry) since stuff have slowed down and I have different interests I hope to explore. I won't many to just keep things easier on myself so I hope to get at least 2 RPs going with some lovely people. Just to let everyone know, I do not RP on Tumblr anymore and stick to Discord because I don't know how to really RP on Tumblr anymore (I did at one point but stuff has changed so much I can't wrap my head around it, but I am happy to relearn if someone is willing to pass on advice!). If anyone is interested (after reading this please), please DM me and we can talk more. :D NOTE: Please adhere to any RP Guidelines/Rules I may have! It will help make things smoother for everyone. <3

Just a little bit of info about me: I am 27 years old, Genderfluid (currently using They/She pronouns), and am in the EST time zone. My style of RP is Third-Person POV and I usually range from Semi-literate to Novella depending on what inspiration I have but do not feel you ever have to try and match me! My main request is please just keep the storyline going and no one-liners. I have been RPing since 2008 (started on YouTube of all places) and I like to try and befriend the people I RP with. I have RP'ed with all sorts of fandoms from Genshin Impact to Twisted Wonderland and even Assassin's Creed, but currently I am looking for RP's based more in the Marvel Universe as Marvel seems to really capitvate my attention right now. Also wanted to add: I do doubles and am totally happy to give it a go to RP as a character you may want. It will take some research, but I am happy to do the best I can. So if you are wanting something even like OCxOC or even OCxCanon I am happy to double up and give anything a whirl. I just hope that before you contact me, that I do tend to incorporate a ton of detail and have lots of details I want to add so if this is not okay, please feel free to not answer this ad.

Below are ideas I hope to explore: 1.) I am hoping to find someone who may be able to RP as Peter Parker but more specifically, the one from Marvel's Spider-Man game from 2018 (I have played the Miles Morales game and have yet to play Spider-Man 2 but plan on doing so soon. :) ) against a Spider-person OC of mine. I have a whole storyline behind this idea so please bear in mind there may be lots of stuff I may send. Even if it is mainly set in the Spiderverse movies too, I am also down to find some adventure there too. 2.) This is the idea I hope to find the most, but especially after Season 2 of the Loki show ending, I was hoping to find someone who can RP as Loki with my OC. To make it short and sweet, I had the idea of my OC making a Pact with Loki (in another Universe) and became his Avatar after their world is destroyed. Eventually, they get separated but I would love to see the dynamic of another Loki with my OC and what could blossom from it whether it is a friendship or even romance.

3.) This would be cool if someone was interested, but I would love to find someone who could RP as Stephen Strange with an OC of mine (technically an AU of them but no worries) who essentially is just King Arthur reawoken in the modern world and Stephen essentially has to watch them and make sure they won't be a threat. Where myth and legend get it wrong, is King Arthur was actually a woman named Artinia Pendragon (I totally did not rip off Fate/Stay Night shhh).

Other than that, I am also up for any ideas people have for within the Marvel-verse! Feel free to DM me if interested and if we are a good match, I don't mind taking stuff to Discord. :D I hope to hear from you soon and thank you for reading everything. Let's have a bite of adventure together!

[kotikaleo]

What is scarier that fanon version of yourself?

Please PLEASE pay some attention to second picture I spent so much more time on it and it has some pretty neat details, the first pic is here only for comic element!

Yeah, anyway! Just in case you wandered my relationship with Blueberry... Yeah, I don’t like him. Fanon US!Sans I pictured in first drawing isn’t even a Sans really. I see Swap and Blue so much different, stronger and more mature. I once already was rambeling about differences and stuff, but I lost this post, so here we go again!

Just a little disclamer - this is just my vision of Blue and his story. US!Sans in my vision is completely different character and you better check canon Underswap research, because for original US!Sans I try to stick as close to canon as possible.

Ref and more details under the cut!

So let’s start with the beginning! Blue (I tend to call him just Blue, not Blueberry to separate Fanon Blue from the way I see Blue) is just a Sans from one of the many many Underswap timelines. He is hyperactive, childish and naive older brother of Papyrus. Well... was. Before Error destroyed his timeline and kidnapped him. After some pretty tense time spend with Error and in the Viod alone, he was saved by Dream, who brought him home in restored by Ink timeline. And just... left there to live his life.

Because of the time spent in Void now he is aware of resets, and even though can’t sense them as good as Paps, he KNOWS and with all he was though this absolutely drives him insane. Pure boi just need therapy, but there is noone who could really help him though, even his brother can’t fully understand him and deals with stress differently, which causes them to distance from each other. Which is even worse. The only thing that keeps him sane is Dream visiting him and checking on him. Sans is all into saving universes and stuff, and proves Dream that he can fight! He is strong (he really grew stronger) and somehow he convinces dream and Ink to became their helper and that’s how Star Sanses are formed, Before that Dream and Ink were working separately just sometimes joining in some really rough battles.

Here you can see him. He is still a bit round and chubby (atleast I tried to show that qwq) but also he grew just a bit taller (same as Dream did. Now Ink is the one and only small gremlin XD) Also as you may notice - he glitches. And has similar to Bluerror stars on his face. That’s because he almost became one, but was actually saved. It’s not really visible, only if you look really closely, but he still moves too fast for anyone to notice. Also he is really obsessed with stars and stuff - symbol and real ones, so he added A LOT on himself (like he has atleas 7 on  his outfit not counting his face) and also he stitched a lot of them on his friends clothes. You can zoom in on second pic and see them clearly.

ALSO! His “name“ came from his enemy. Star Sanses didn’t really needed a new name for Sans since Ink and Dream aren’t quite Sanses and never were called so. And interactions with other AUs were short enough not to cause many problems. But once Horror called him Blueberry (wow something different form usual “snack“ or “treat“) and “Blue” part kinda... Stick to him XD

That’s all I wanted to share, now back to my “sketching arc”

[therealvinelle]

Honestly at this point your opinions make way too much sense that they don’t feel heretical at all.

But if I had to pick Voldemort would be the top of the list, followed by Aro, followed by Tom Riddle. (I know they’re the same person but fandom treats them as different people.)

Voldemort apologists (not to say you’re an apologist but in the sense of him not being evilest evil to walk the earth) tend to be weirdly racist as hell (they try to justify he was doing the right thing with keeping out muggleborns but went too far because the eleven year olds are a danger to their culture somehow!?) and they treat him as a different person from Tom (which you don’t) so he tops the list.

But fandom does have a lot of Tom Riddle apologists, more than Aro apologists (while still sticking to all the canon - killing rabbits and murdering sisters included. I guess it might be down to a lot of fandom hating Dumbledore and the way he treats people, Tom included, and Tom Riddle being a little orphan who might have been bullied; while Aro is like an ancient evil guy on top of the government of the superior species.)

This is of course according to my personal experience in fandom. Maybe we should have a poll?

I wrote out a whole reply to you only to have my computer die. RIP.

I have this relevant post on fandoms, though. Basically, the darksider fan corner of the Harry Potter fandom (Well, there were several corners that weren't necessarily associated. Bellatrix stans who ship Bellamort, for instance, will be very separate from dark!Harry fans who ship Tomarry, yet both camps will say "ew, mudbloods") is weird. I think for some it might be a need to justify their favorites, so they launch into explanations of how immigrants muggleborns actually are a problem sometimes and it's "hoo boy you didn't think this one through at all did you" from there.

Meanwhile, Aro's fans tend to reject canon outright. One of the few things we know about the guy is that he killed Didyme, yet you'll see a lot weaseling out of that one. No need to explain away the terrible things your fav does if you pretend they never happened!

Additionally a lot of fans, of both, seem to be very much about the aesthetic, to the point where you could switch the Volturi out for Death Eaters or Sith or you name it, and the difference would be negligible.

It's one big mess that some academic out there could probably have a lot of fun studying.

Voldemort and Aro are really very different, though, not just as characters (Aro is a law enforcer trying to enforce this one (1) law and people cry foul for it, Voldemort is the leader of a terrorist movement seeking to evict the marginalized member of a community. Voldemort's story is tied with racism, Aro's is not.) but also in that their fandoms are very different beasts. I... don't even know where I would begin to compare the two.

I will say this, though, I think a big reason why there are more Tom apologists is that Harry Potter is a bigger and more diverse fandom. Twilight was big in its heyday, but EdBella reigned supreme in a way no one ship or character has ever reigned supreme in Harry Potter. Just look at the numbers - fanfiction.net has 216k Twilight fics, Bella stars as a tagged character (and keep in mind it was only in 2013 that they added more character slots, by which time the Twilight craze was past its heyday. Odds are Bella is one of two tagged characters in a lot of these) in 115k of them. Aro, by contrast, is a tagged character in a whooping 1.6k fics. Harry Potter, meanwhile, has 633k fanfictions total, and Harry Potter is a tagged character in 167k of them. Voldemort is in 13.2k fics, Tom is in 8.9k.

It's a bit pointless to be pulling out these numbers when I'm not doing more with them (calculating percentages, using more examples, giving you guys diagrams to visualize them), but I'm trying to illustrate that Twilight is centralized and conformist in a way Harry Potter never was. You'll still find fringe groups in Twilight, but they'll be tiny and consist of like, two people. I mean, it speaks volumes that @edwardsmate4ever is the only Jakeward shipper I know of on tumblr.

All of this rambling to ineloquently say that Aro fans being the way they are, and Voldemort/Tom fans being a different way, is as much born of who the characters are as it is what the fandoms are like.

[witch-hazels-musings]

could i request some (separate) platonic hcs for kaeya, venti, and childe ? 🥺 like if you were best friends what would it be like :')

Friendship!

Warning -> SFW! Fluff :) 

Character X GN Reader | Anthology

Includes: Venti, Kaeya, Childe

Venti 

He is an incredible friend - just an absolute joy to have around 

He’s super fun, giddy, kind, and unexpected  - he’d make every day a new experience 

Just don’t be too worried if you don’t see him for a while - he is free like the wind and will drift to places that call him, eventually he always comes back 

Early Friendship

He is always happy to see you - like he just has this goofy smile on his face, this lightness in his voice and joy in his eyes 

There is a high likelihood he will have requests of you - maybe something to help him partake in his wild fantasies or ideas that seem to be fleeting and ever changing - he might drag you all around and see just how far you’ll go before you find out he was pulling your leg all along - he just likes to have a good time and your such a good sport 

His presence is kind and joyful. He lifts people up, he makes people laugh, he is silly and unexpected and while sometimes you might feel completely drained by the time you get home, you are always left with fond memories 

Best Friends

He would start to show more of himself to you - his joy would shift from surface level to unbound, he’d let you into his pain, his loneliness - you’d learn more about him and hear stories which seemed way to personal to be from the storybooks he says they are from 

You might catch him being more reserved and quiet. He’d ask you to visit the places that hold great meaning to him and as you sit there, watching him, you’d notice there was so much sadness and thoughtfulness to him - he’d be able to let himself rest near you and for a restless bard who cannot keep his energy together, it’s nice to have someone to rest his head near 

He’d teach you songs and would be so excited if you start to make some up with him - the two of you would often be found sitting near one another laughing and coming up with silly, confusing lyrics which only made sense to the two of you - it didn’t matter if you sounded good or not, he just like having someone to sing with 

Venti had asked you to join him under the large tree in Windrise, near the Statue of the Seven. It was one of his favorite places to go, he once explained to you how the air there seemed to be rejuvenating, refreshing and clear. When you made your way down the path and saw him sitting on one of the large roots of the tree he waved at you with gusto. 

The two of you sat there for some time, talking about your day and sharing funny stories or strange anecdotes. He may look like he was laughing and having a grand time, but you knew him well enough to know there was something strange about the way he laughed, about the smile that seemed much too sad. 

“Y/N?” He asked, his face looking upward into the large branches of the tree. 

“Yeah?” You let the grass fall from your hands, the thin blades floating in the soft wind. 

“Do you think friendships last beyond a single lifetime?” 

You looked up at him but he continued to look up toward the blocked sky. You thought for a bit, considering his question and wondering why he would ask something like this. 

“I think the connections we make in our lives last for as long as they need to. People come and go, drifting between in and out like grass on the wind until they come to rest. For how long, I don’t know, and until the wind decides to pick them up again we have to enjoy the time spent there.” 

“That’s a lovely thought.” Venti hummed, his eyes shining and the corner of his mouth slightly pulled back. 

“Hey,” You called out to him and he looked down at you, “I don’t know what will happen in the future, but I am stronger than grass on the wind, and I plan on being your friend for eternity if you’ll let me.” You stick out your pinky finger and he returns the gesture, your two fingers wrapping around the other in this solemn promise. 

“It’s a deal then.” 

Kaeya

He is pretty busy, so he might not hear from him from time to time - but don’t worry, he isn’t like this because he doesn’t enjoy your friendship, he just has a lot on his plate - it keeps him busy 

He’s totally down to hang out in the evenings whether thats in a bar, in the popular places people tend to gather, or wandering about the town - it’s an excellent excuse to see you, maybe get something nice to drink, and gather information all at the same time

Early Friendship

Kaeya always has something up his sleeve - he may seem kind, just keep and eye on him - he’s tricky

He is inviting and would listen to you, he’d offer you solutions to your problems - just be aware they might not always be the most … ethical of solutions … they might also be difficult to accomplish, his ideas can often be quiet intricate 

He’d take a moment to chat with you when he sees you around - waving at you with quick flick of the hand and calling out your name 

He’d even offer to assist you on commissions or any adventure you are heading out for - please take him, he’s dying to get out from behind the castle walls and he finds your company very entertaining 

Best Friends

He’d find you just to hang out with you - maybe using his breaks to go to the places you usually hang out (maybe your work or favorite spots in the city) and when he finds you he’d be okay to just talk about nothing in particular, even on his days off you’d find yourself surrounded by Kaeya - the two of you share in a lot of great conversations and laughter 

He digs that you joke back with him and don’t take him all that serious - it’s nice to just let loose and have someone to be himself without all the extra masks he finds himself wearing - with you he can just exist, no expectations, no push to go one way or the other, he can just be 

Honestly, it doesn't matter what the two of you do, it’s just fun to hang out with one another, to spend time together, to laugh with each other, about each other, for each other 

Kaeya hasn’t felt this close to someone in such a long time - it’s a feeling he never wants to loose, he values this friendship more than you’ll ever know 

The two of you sat on the upper floor of the bar enjoying the evening of alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks. Kaeya had started long before you had even gotten there and was already having a fun time. 

“Hey! Glad you could join the fun.” He sang, his arms spread wide to greet you. He had already said this to you a few times but you just laughed it off. 

“I told you I'd be here and I wouldn’t want to be a liar. I know you’ll never let me live it down.” 

“Ah, you know me so well.” He took another drink from his glass and set it back onto the table before looking at you. He was so thankful to have you in his life, you made the days fun and you brought something he was missing, a person who he could just be around, a person he could rely on, a person who valued him for him. 

You looked at him, a half-cocked smile spreading across your face. “What, you’re looking at me funny.” 

“I’d like to make a toast.” He shouted, lifting his glass up high and inviting the whole room to join in. “A toast to friendship, may ours last until the snow on Dragonspine melts.” 

“And even then, you won't be able to get rid of me!” You shout back, adding your glass to the cheer. 

“Hah, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

The bar explodes into chanting and cheers and the two of you spend the rest of the evening laughing away. 

Childe

He’s such a wild friend 

Like be aware that you may never know what is coming when it comes to Childe - one minute things will be normal and chill and the next, tables are flying, people are cheering and mora is falling from the sky 

He’s super cocky and sure of himself, this personality of his comes across in his action on a regular basis

Like a torrential rain or unexpected storm - Childe’s friendship is a sight to behold 

Early Friendship

He’d be nice enough, saying hi to you and giving you parts of his day - if he had the time - it was hard to make connections with people since he moved around so much, if he did make any connection with a person they were usually short lived - like a burning match or a downpour in the rain 

While you may be more open, he’d let you do most of the talking - he’d keep his work to himself and wouldn’t share much with you unless it was necessary. You’d never notice either, he’s very good at getting people to open up without expelling much energy 

Best Friends

He recently started brining you small gifts, trinkets or items that you’d like - he’d learned so much about you and even as sporadic as his contact with you was, you were always excited to see him, always happy to share with him things going on and even brave enough to ask him about his own - never pushing him past the level of comfort he was used to 

Since he considers you an very close friend, he started to be more open about his own life with you - sharing with you about this family and being vulnerable enough to let you know how much he missed them - he’d make jokes about not using this information against him later and while you laugh, he hopes you take him seriously -- he’s giving you a lot about himself and he can’t bare to see you betray him 

He’d also start to be involved more in your life - he’d want to join you on your outings, ask you if there was anything he could do to lift your burdens, often taking care of any issues you bring to him in whatever way was quickest, or most efficient (please don’t kill anyone, Childe…) 

The two of you laid out underneath the stars. You found this activity pleasant and after inviting him out once, he’d asked you to take him again and again. He was incredibly curious about the stars in the sky and you did you best to answer him - you weren’t necessarily an expert in the whole thing, but it was something you found a lot of joy in, so you managed to give him a lot of new information. 

“You know, I’ve only ever focused on one or two stars my whole life.” He said, looking up at the vastness of the night, his hands extended as if he was trying to capture the little lights in his hands. 

“Most people don’t even look up. They're so busy looking at the now or thinking about their next step.” 

“Well, I looked at them only out of necessity, nothing more … and now …” He dropped his hands back onto the blanket and you stopped looking at your notebook. The small lantern flicking across the pages, fluttering across his face and in his ginger hair. 

“Now, what?” You asked, curious as to what he was going to share with you next. 

“Now I’m able to see there are so many possibilities other than one or two. You helped me see that, so thank you comrade.” 

“Any time, that’s what friends are for.” You chuckled, looking up at the stars. A bright light flashed across the sky and your heart fluttered. You tapped him on the arm, “Look, a shooting star, make a wish!” 

He looked out over the fast, never ending, glittering darkness and wished for this friendship to last until the last star faded.

[shurisneakers]

shut in [10]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, anxiety, ptsd, shooting, abuse

Word count: 2.8k

A/N: double digit chapter!!! like 3 parts to go everyoneeee woo!!

i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!!

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

The nostalgia was strong. 

The last time you and Sam were sitting like this, you were deciding on what to make of the bread supply that was now dwindling. The soup had ran out maybe a day or two ago and you were left with just bread, peanut butter and jelly.

You two had to devise an escape plan. You’d been there long enough and now with Sam making his first public appearance as Mob’s Most Wanted, even if it was for a good cause, there was no doubt that people would be after you.

“What if we go back to Ransone and let the rest sort itself out along the way?”

You made a note of it on the paper but you weren’t very convinced with the idea, not with the realisations you had made along the way.

“Do we know any other hideouts?” you asked instead, tapping the pencil against the paper.

“None that you don’t already know.” He chewed on his lip thoughtfully. “What are your thoughts on caves? Think we can make a bed outta some leaves?”

You wrote down ‘Sam’s cave idea’, just to humour him. Stupid, but more plausible than other options.

“If we make a run for it, what are the chances we’ll survive?”

“With law enforcement, civilians and gang members looking for us, I’d give us about-” you said candidly, “-two months. Three max.”

It wasn’t like you had no experience running from the state, but it was never on this scale. 

“We’d have years if it was only law enforcement, but we had to go get the entire fuckin’ mafia involved,” he huffed in annoyance.

An idea occurred to you that made you pause, but you hated it.

“What if we split up?” you suggested halfheartedly. “It’ll take them more time to find the both of us, if they’re looking for us together.”

When he didn’t reply, you looked up at him from the sheet in front of you.

“We’re not splitting up,” he began steadily, just as you knew he would. “The same people who are after you are after me. We need to stick together.”

“I know. I’m not saying we can’t meet again after that, I’m saying that maybe it’ll be easier for us to hide.”

He couldn’t deny that it wasn't the worst idea, but something didn’t sit right with him. He didn’t want to do it.

“Okay, then how do we find each other after that? When? I don’t have your email; fuck that, I don’t even have your number.”

“We’ll schedule it, I guess,” you murmur, trying to work out the logistics. “Whoever gets there late has to buy ice cream. And I’m particular about the flavour I like.”

You tried to lighten up the mood but he wasn’t having it, as much as he appreciated it.

“I don’t care if it’s more difficult,” he said slowly. “But I’d like us to stick together. Not until we’re out of this mess. Then if you want to never see my face again, which you shouldn’t because it’s beautiful, we’ll go our different ways.”

He was adamant about it, and you knew he’d argue and poke holes into the plan until it didn’t make sense anymore. You weren’t going to argue.

“Okay,” you accepted. “We stick together.”

A smile spread across his face which equated to one of triumph. “You got any other ideas?” 

“We stay right here and fight off whoever comes.”

It was dumb. This place wasn’t yours, and staying here would be a death wish. That didn’t stop you from saying it since neither of you were holding back on implausible ideas.

“This is our house now,” Sam added with determination, playing along.

“Damn right,” you affirmed, cracking a smile at him.

Bringing your attention back, you stared at the list. There is one option you wanted to explore but you weren’t sure if you could because you didn’t have the resources. But he may.

“You got any friends whose help we could use?” you asked cautiously, unsure of how this would play out. 

He continued chewing on his lip for a second like he was analysing all options, before nodding. 

“I got a friend. Well, my only friend,” he corrects himself. “His name’s Riley.”

“He got a place we can stay, this Riley?”

“He does. But I don’t want to involve him. He’s-” he paused, trying to find the right words to frame what he’s thinking “-he’s been through a lot.”

“We’ll leave him alone then,” you assured, realising that it must be a touchy topic for him.

Sam didn’t move on, though. 

“I’m all ears if you want to talk,” you offered. 

He pressed his lips together, giving you a tight smile. He looked like he wanted to say more but was holding back. You reciprocated, hoping it would give him some reassurance, noting how he exhaled softly.

“When I joined the cartel, I didn’t really have anyone to talk to since everyone was much older than I was. Riley was the first friend I made. He was a mouthy li’l one.” Sam smiled wistfully and you found yourself smiling with him. “He talked so much shit and he had the spunk to back it up but he never really got that far because no one wanted to test their luck with him.”

“We spent whatever free time we had together. He didn’t have a family so he and I-” he trailed off but you knew what he was getting at. “Ransone found out. Didn’t like anyone in his stupid squad becoming all buddies because if we turned against him, he knew he’d lose.”

Shared experience. You didn’t have any friends in the organization either; they were always separated from you willingly or by force. You wondered if that’s why you had taken such a liking towards Sam, knowing fully well that it was the first time in years you were able to be friends with someone without having to worry.

“He started pittin’ us against one another. Combat training, preferential treatment, just plain out sabotage. Riley’s the reason my back’s all kinds of fucked up.” He gave a short laugh. “Tried everything he could to make sure we’d stay away or even kill each other if it came to that.”

“But you didn’t.”

“But we didn’t,” he confirmed. “Ransone fuckin’ hated it, so one day, he decided that he’s going to finish it once and for all. Sent us on a fake mission so that we’d be alone together, then told us that only one of us could come back. One of us had to die or else both of us would. Some sick fuckin’ form of entertainment.”

It was exactly something that Ransone would do. Dramatic, vile and utterly despicable, just for his own joy,

Your eyebrows knit together when his eyes glazed over. 

“Riley, he- he didn’t even let me have at the gun. Just straight up chose for the both of us that he was going to be the one who died. He was so tired, of everythin’.” The muscles in your jaw tightened at where this was going. “He didn’t do it though. We figured out another way.”

You didn’t realise how tensed you were until you forced yourself to relax.

“Faked his death.” He shrugged. “It was the only way. Let Ransone believe he bled out and that I buried him behind the warehouse he sent us to. Shot him in the leg to make it look convincing. He’s still got a limp.”

“He made a run for it. Found himself a place in New Orleans, changed his identity, basically made turned into a whole new person. Ransone bought it for a while because I’d make it a point to visit the grave, leave some flowers and shit. Told him that if he messed with it that I’d put a bullet in his head and I was angry enough for him to see that I wasn’t kidding. I knew he’d figure it out eventually but I was hoping I’d get rid of him by then.”

“He lived in New Orleans for years. Never had a problem until recently.”

Sam paused for a second, but it gave you the time to pull up an old conversation you had with him.

“He’s the one Ransone threatened you with,” you connected the dots. “He’s the one he found.”

“Said he’d kill him if I didn’t take out Pierce for him,” his words were bitter, confirming what you said. “Sent me a picture of him in front of his house to prove it.”

“Fuckin’ hell,” you breathed, leaning back. Sam’s situation was more dangerous than you initially thought. Having Riley in the picture just made it more difficult to help Sam get out of the organization, especially since he was now leverage material.

“You asked me once what the scariest thing I had done was.” You didn’t get immediately what he was talking about until you remember the questions you had asked to get to know him better. “It was that. Getting him out of this life and trying not to get caught in the process.”

You didn’t know what to say.

“He’s the only family I got left.” The way his voice dropped made him sound so tired. “He’s already on their radar. If they find out I’m staying with him or that he’s helping in any way, they’ll kill him.”

You didn’t say anything, not like you had anything constructive to offer at that moment.

“That got dark real quick,” he remarked, the corners of his lips quirking upward.

Clearly he didn’t have anyone to talk to about this. To explain the entire thing from the beginning must have drained him completely.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through that,” you said quietly.

He paused for a second, looking like he was thinking to himself.

“Me too.”

______

The sky’s beautiful, you decide.

You could stare at the clouds for hours.

Which is what the both of you have been doing.

“If you fucking say it’s anything other than a dog, I’ll push you off the roof myself.”

“It’s clearly a penguin, Samuel.”

“I hate you.”

The cement was cool against your skin even though there was a blanket serving as a mediator between you and it. The sun nipped at your skin and your back was aching from staying in the same place for a prolonged period.

Sam tended to think better when he was outside, unconstrained by harsh white walls and artificial light. So you grabbed a spare blanket, a bottle of water and the ladder to haul the both of you to the roof. It was filthy, as you expected but you managed to tidy a part of it to the best of your ability before laying the blanket down.

“I know why you brought me up here, Y/N,” he piped up.

You just knew that when you needed some space, he often implored you to go outside. You figured the best way to help him was to do the same, not knowing what else you could have to give.

“Just wanted to let you know that I appreciate it,” he added.

Okay good. It helped.

“That’s a tree.” You pointed upwards, avoiding his gaze.

“You get three more seconds to change that answer to a table.”

“That looks nothing like a table. You’re delusional.”

He laughed, not offering a counter argument.

The outside did him good. He was calmer than when you first came here a few hours ago. He didn’t let his spite towards Ransone show very often, especially at this volume. Talking about Riley only reaffirmed how much he despised the man.

“We need to get out of here eventually, you know?” you mused.

You don’t want to. You don’t want to admit that saying it out loud made it worse.

“We do,” he sounded sure and you wondered if he ever felt bad about it too, “but we need a proper plan.”

The clouds shifted. It looked like a kid on a bike; not that you’d ever tell him. He would never agree.

“We need help,” you stated.

“We can’t.” You knew he’d say that.

“You know we do, Sam.”

“There’s no one out there we can trust.”

You liked that he used ‘we’. The only other times you had been referred to as ‘we’ had been for things so sinister, so violent.

His elbow was touching yours lightly. You wanted to move closer, press against him.

“There’s one person who might be able to.”

He turned to look at you questioningly. You did the same.

You waited till he figured it out on his own. His face shifted the minute it clicked in his head.

“No way.” He turned away, almost laughing out of bewilderment.

“It’s our only option.”

“Then we’ll find another one,” he began to sound more insistent, realising you were being serious. It was a crazy idea, you’d give him that, but it’s the only one you had that had a sure shot of working.

“We’ve tried. You’ve tried. There’s only one way,” you knew that getting annoyed wouldn’t get through to him and you also understood his hesitations. “He’ll help.”

“We don’t know that. It’s too fuckin’ dangerous.” He couldn’t afford that; not this late in the game.

“I know it. Lis- Sam. Look at me,” you commanded gently, and he obeyed reluctantly. “I understand that this is absolutely batshit wild, but I promised I’d help you. This is the only way I can think of. But I need you to trust me.”

He looked unsettled.

He didn’t have anything to go on. Only your word and his faith in you. He could say no and he knew you’d spend countless hours pouring over multiple options just to find another way. He could say no and you’d take it in stride and he wouldn’t have to worry about it. It wasn’t about trusting you, it was about not trusting the others.

But he could also say yes and let you take control, trust your instincts. You had never let him down before and he knew you wouldn’t now. He could say yes and help you work on one solid plan that had equal chances of failing as it did being a success, but it was something that you could be sure of.

“I’ll tell you this though, Sam. You always have a choice.”

He felt your fingers trace at his face patiently. He scooted closer, letting your bodies press gently against each other.

“Okay,” he whispered. “I trust you.”

He didn’t know if he made the right choice or not, but the smile that appeared on your face made him think that maybe he did.

God, he was done for.

___

“You ready?” you asked him.

“No, but what the hell; let’s do it.”

You let it ring right to the very end.

“Hello.” It seemed gratuitous at this point because you knew the conversation wouldn’t proceed with that.

“Code?”

“1993.”

“Y/N. Hello,” his voice came back loud and clear.

“Hey.” You snuck a glance at Sam. He was completely stiff.

“How are you?”

“I’ve been… good,” you admitted.

“Oh?” he sounded amused. “That’s a change.”

“Yeah.” You shifted on your feet awkwardly. “Listen, I need help.”

“Help with?”

“We need to get out of here. We can’t do it without you. I mean we can, but it’d be better if you lent a hand.”

“When you say ‘we’, you’re referring to…”

“Me.” Sam stepped forward towards the phone. You shifted it so it was between you.

“Oh, hello,” he sounded surprised, and he had good reason to be. “You know about-”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Y/N, you trust him?”

“Yeah,” you looked up at Sam, “I do.”

“Alright. If shit goes wrong, you’re both fucked. I’m not taking any responsibility.”

“We get that,” you sighed. “Can you help or not?”

There was a momentary silence on the other end as he thought.

“Tell me what you had in mind.”

“We got a hit.”

They turned away from their conversation with the person walking beside them at the interruption.

“This better be important.” They gestured to their companion who looked annoyed at being interrupted. He was too dangerous to have on anyone’s bad side but the agent didn’t care. This was crucial.

“Someone saw him. Wilson.” He was breathless from the flight of stairs he had run to come upstairs.

“Where?” They could hardly believe their ears, restraining to contain the excitement that was threatening to rise.

“A town, miles away from Pierce’s place. Said he roamed around looking for a store, bought some food and then left.” His eyes shone. “We think we might know where they are. A rough sketch at least. Couldn’t follow him too far because he kept checking.”

“Finally,” their face gleamed, completely discarding the guest they had and the confusion on his face. “Some good fucking news.”

“Do you want us to put a hit out on them?” The relief the agent felt was almost overwhelming. His partner may have died but it didn’t look like he was going to.

“No,” they said crisply, certainly. “This one’s on me.”

Next part

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 2)

I finally got my answer on how will kyo’s confession of kyoko will be & how tohru will react. I love the writing, the pacing, the monologue, the dialogue, the facial expressions, tohru’s reaction, kyo’s rejection & tohru’s shock. Even yuki & akito’s involvement! All of it was a chef’s kiss!

I went & watched lots of eps of se01 & 2 & I’m loving all the hints they dropped abt kyo & how his trauma was looming over him all. this. damn. time! Unfortunately, it has reminded me of how much tohru’s own character exploration was diminished in favor of her being the angelic mother & the sohma’s fixer! but moving on & focusing on her shining moment now! I’ll explore her character here with regards of her trauma, real hidden character & future development.

Kyo’s rejection is the best thing that has ever happened to tohru:

(don’t hate me before you read!) XD~ just like you, I’m mad at kyo for hurting tohru & I feel her pain. However, the writer didn’t write this with a sadistic desire to hurt us. Kyo’s rejection is the core of the entire story as it is not only connected to kyo’s trauma, but tohru’s growth & yuki’s emotional involvement with the two, as well as akito’s insecurities. I have explained in my review( part 1) how kyo rejecting tohru was a logical progression of kyo’s trauma, the only possible outcome from his perspective, & the themes tied with such decision. Now, I’ll explain why this rejection is good for tohru in the long run:

1. Showing the hidden ugly side: (The timid, shy, self-sacrificing girl is angry!): Tohru’s entire consciously constructed personality is borrowed from elements in her mom & dad’s life:

She mimicked her dad’s overly polite style to prove that she is indeed his daughter, so her mom won’t be called w*ore & to console her mom, so she wont leave her. She has deep low self-worth issues. I gotta become someone else to be loved.

she has inner fear of bringing shame to her mom’s name, wants to always be the good girl so mom’s get praised for raising her. Thus, hiding ugly aspects such as anger, loud voice & frustration.

She wants to prove that her mom chose right by not neglecting her. wishes to be worth needing & loving for her own self.

All she ever wanted since being a 4 year old child is her mom. No other desire for anything else at all. Since her mom’s death, she’s been lost on what to do, who to be, what to want! then it came to her to stick to her mom’s memory & live for her. Living for a dead person is a self-sacrifice decision. Tohru just didn’t see herself outside of her mom’s influence.  

Ever since meeting kyo, he has been encouraging real aspects of her character: be selfish, complain, cry, get mad, yell, look pathetic, expose unflattering thoughts, show undesirable side, ask for things, no, DEMAND things. She has been reluctantly following his advice & only showing that to him. His confession & inability to accept her love has lead her to show the real hidden tohru behind the “ i’m okay” mask:

The timid, always smiling girl is now showing anger, frustration, stubbornness & determination.

screaming her heart out: “ i don’t believe my mom would say that” stating her opinion in firm voice.

 “even if she did, I have to go against her” the real tohru shows her explosive personality that was buried deep down! it is NOT mom’s life anymore. It is MINE. I decide. I choose. I want. My decisions.

“ why can’t you see that?” argues with him. Tohru, who is soft-spoken & tends to get flustered  when others insist, is now questioning his decision with passion & fierceness!

“ I love you no matter what”. Say what toy want. look at yourself as a monster, a murderer, a loser or a coward. I don’t care what your brain or trauma makes you think. I see the real YOU & it is my decision! I love you ugly & pretty, sad & happy, broken or strong, coward or brave. I take it all & no one is fooling me or changing my mind. I’m my own person & I chose YOU. 

 2. Letting go of attachments: Learning to LIVE:

Tohru’s attachment to her mom isn’t healthy. It’s  toxic as it hinders her from being her own person. To be able to love kyo, she lets go of “ listening to mommy’s words” . Apparently, her mom condemned kyo as unforgivable. Tohru knows the real kyo & doesn’t even care for forgiveness despite her mom’s alleged words. Breaking the toxic bond. She formed a healthier bond with kyo. However, if kyo is unable to accept this love. what would tohru do? die?? kill herself?? kyoko wasn't able to continue to love her husband cuz he died. her reaction was neglecting her daughter & roaming away in utter grief. Tohru mustn’t follow her mom’s example. Not all loved ones leave us out of hate. Some leave each other cuz of death (kyoko/tohru), ( kyoko/ katsuya), Others might leave each other out of current traumatic pain, mental health, emotional hindrance despite loving each other so dearly (kyo/tohru). If kyo despite his immense love to tohru, can’t forgive himself, they won’t be together. tohru can cry, scream, yell, but if he doesn't overcome his issues & come back, tohru gotta let go. She gotta learn to let go & not kill herself over what she cant have.

Kyo, on the opposite, gotta learn to hold on to loved ones! Let go of pain but hold on to real ppl not dead ghosts of the past. He must learn to act on his own desire & need for tohru. Only when he forgives himself, he’ll hold on to her. It is then, that tohru will decide again if she’ll have him or not.

3- Wanting things doesn't mean you WILL have them: (You are enough by yourself- moderation)

tohru wants kyo, the first thing she has ever wanted. However, she won’t  automatically get him just because she now learned to demand things. There are obstacles that can stop that. Tohru must accept kyo’s inability to be with her now & live healthily regardless. This ties to akito as well. She wants the zodicas but she cant have them! Emotional distance separate them. What will akito do if she can’t have what she wants? kill kurno? kill tohtru? kill herself? will this bring the zodiacs back? NO. You are enough by yourself. She needs to let go & learn to accept that love means acceptance between the involved parties, emotional connection isn't enough.

-Realistic depiction of romantic relationship progression: (thro better & worse). EPIC writing!

It is indeed fate that brought tohru back in kyo’s path 4 months after her mom’s death & the they do share a mutual past: kyoko. However, fervor grateful to the author for writing them falling in love together isn’t due to fate, coincidence, mutual past or similar personalities. Kyo consciously avoided tohru while tohru herself struggled to understand kyo initially. The author spend valuable time building their romantic relation based on mundane daily life activities. They themselves don’t quite know when exactly that they fell in love. when they recalled falling in love, we see them cooking together, talking, walking, eating, studying & opening up abt small struggles.

It is genius that the writer will add yet another realistic aspect. While kyo was able to read tohru & approach her when she’s down, this doesn't mean he magically understood her & will forever be on the same page & never ever hurt each other at all. If you fell in love, you are bound to be hurt by the person who loves you back as much as be happy together. It is realistic!!! Adding miscommunication & personality differences enrich the relationship. This relationship isn’t just fluffy & lovey dovey. They have realistic issues that they need to work on by communicating. Even communication  wont solve their quarrel if it isn’t done in the right time & with the right desire to connect.

-The weight & future lessons learned from of “ I’m disappointed in you” for both kyo & tohru:

Right now kyo is too emotional to connect & tohru herself is too emotional to understand his response. Tohru understands his pain but her low self-esteem prevents her from seeing that he is rejecting being loved , not rejecting her. He is not rejecting tohru as a person but rejecting kyo as a person deserving love. Thanks to his “ i’m disappointed in you” which really leaves no room for interpretation from tohru’s perspective. I love that!!!! Kyo isn’t good with words. This has been clear from ep 1, his actions has always been his love language, but now he couples bad words “ i’m disappointed in you” with bad actions: running away. This is a perfect opportunity to build their future relationship on a solid foundation: ( off course I’m not belittling their current emotions, I understand why each is very broken now, but I’m talking abt future learning lessons)

Kyo’s current mistake: While him rejecting tohru is justified by the extreme trauma & is logical from his perspective. This doesn’t mean it isnt’t hurtful to her. He chose hurtful words to push her away mimicking how he pushed her in the true form arc. Perfect example of justified mistake yet still a wrong mistake. Thus, kyo needs to learn the effect of his words, he shouldn’t be punished for the past, for tings her cant control, nor for fate. But he should take responsibilities of the present, of what he actually says & does right now.  He must fix this mistake with tohru. This is a mistake that CAN be fixed. someone that he CAN get back. a mistake he CAN stop repeating.He CAN hold on to her with immense desire yet allow room for her to decide for herself.

Tohru’s current mistake: Seeing herself solely thro being loved by kyo. she cant see that he indeed loves her cuz he rejected her. Rejection in tohru’s mind equal lack of love. Her mom left her, thus her mom didnt love her. This respective is very justified due to her trauma, & it is logical that she reached this conclusion. She isnt in his head, she cant know whats in his heart if his words say sth else. However, having a logical perspective doesn't mean it is right. it is still wrong to solely exist thro what you can see & hear. Real emotions run deeper. We must take things with moderate approach. Tohru needs to have higher self-esteem, to allow room for misunderstanding without completely breaking down. In her future life, she’ll be in lots of situations where ppl could hurt her intentionally or unintentionally. She needs to take things with calmer pace & open the door in her mind for doubt & better judgement. As much as loved ones words hurt, to build a healthy relationship, you must leave room for communication & misunderstanding. Hence, you’ll get closer & closer. 

Side Notes:

 I love tohru’s faulty attachment thro only being loved back exactly as she pictures in her mind. it is so human, so real, & so endearing! Very opposite of se01 & 2 image of her being the wise, device-giving mother with right thing to say & do. Screw that unrealistic image! allow tohru to be real! best ep ever! Hopefully, no more of this tohru!

Kyo’s constant repeat of mistakes is the best character trope done right! so realistic. It is genius that the author used this trope to humanize the demonic cat spirit!! what screams human better than the most annoying human trait: repeating mistakes!!!!  Kyo, my son! it’s time to learn! cant wait to see how the author will do that.

young boy/ adult woman friendship? Was that ever made without  disgusting sexualizion? kyoko isnt much of a mom figure to kyo, she tells me abt a husband, child neglect mistakes, custody! he calls her old hag & pushes her! XD. it is friendship!!

i’m mad they didnt focus on tohru’s face when she screamed at kyo confessing her love.. that's tohru moment. Why pan on yuki? you could’ve showed his reaction after she spoke. The same thing was done when tohru confessed to Isuzu!-_-! loved her angry face tho, it was beautifully drawn, so thanks for that. XD

Yuki is forever the best tohru/kyo shipper & the best tohru-happiness defender. I love how he runs after kyo & yet checks on tohru! I’m curious tho, he didnt hear any of kyo/kyoko confession as he was asleep, only the the “ forgive/not forgive line” so, he’ll be wondering forgive what? tohru’s mom knows kyo? I’m excited on how they’ll put things into context. also, I LOVE YUKI.

I’m forever thankful that everything akito is pushed into next ep. The knife wielding action & akito’s dramatic outbursts would’ve stolen from the emotional weight of kyo’s confession. Kyo’s secret is the core of furuba since ep, 1, the entire dynamics of kyo/tohru/yuki /kyoko/ hat is established based on this ep. Shoving akito, too, would create the same annoying train bullet feeling of momiji’s & tohru’s ep (ep 5 & 6). Emotional scenes pushed together with lesser time for the respective characters to have their well-deserved focus.

This is the most I am attached & satisfied with furuba! it scares me since ep 9 continues the climax. My fears of potential dramatic animation since the knife is there! moreover, akito’s own animation is always over the top. I hope they tone it down to portray her as a human more than a maniac.

Also, I hope they dont drag the climax more than that. What more you can shove in the dramatic raining weather. Tohru/kyo scene here matched the true arc scene bringing back parallel. Now akito/tohru raining scene next ep will match se02, ep10 scene. Now, what will the author do to defuse the climax? Often writing the falling action is harder than the climax itself. Falling action doesnt mean happy times & solving issues. It means dealing with the consequences of the climax. Let’s see what the writer has in store.

Based on the flashbacks, Kyoko didnt have ill feelings with kyo!!!! Until the last time he saw her as a child, she was happy with him. Even when he pushed her, she took it as a childlike behavior. at the accident, she didnt have much time to have any ill feelings. No way she thought he pushed her, no way she thought he could’ve saved her. So if she really recognized him, why would she say “ I wont forgive you”? it doesnt make sense at all. Kyoko doesn't hate kyo!!!! So, either he imagined, which is sth that I’ll hate so much! I spent so much emotions attached to a non existant words! NO. plz! NO!! Other possibility, she said sth else closer to the words! but then again how would we know? I NEED to know! ~ as expected, I’m still attached to this damn line! XD. 

Kyo depressed in the mountains after kyoko’s death was very vaguely referenced in (1) se01, ep24 when kyo talked to kazuma! oh shoot! (2) in se02, sp 2 when kazuma thought back to kyo nearly killing himself in depression before meeting the dad, (3) in se02, ep 9 when kyo trampled on the flower! oof! i love this subtle style of writing! connecting the emotional dots! EPIC!

Various characters throut seasons 1, 2 & 3 noticed the real gentle kyo towards tohru: (1) Isuzu’s “ I hope tohru meets someone like haru, to gently open the door” se02, ep19. (2) Momiji having faith that kyo is the right person for tohru & pushing him, (3) yuki constantly musing over tohru/kyo love & drawing inspiration on wanting “ his own person to love like them” (3) Kisa saying kyo is kind to tohru se3, (4) shigure saying, you are exclusively kind to tohru se02, (5) Airisa saying, when will kyo confess in se01, (6) hana saying, marry my sister in the play & pushing him to not be locked! (7) yuki kicking him for saying “ its not your business” to tohru in kyoto trip, (8) kakeru saying “ kyo’s her boyfriend? “ AA~~~~ the whole cast know & can see his love to her!!! TOHRU! He doesnt hate you! KYO!! the entire cast thinks you DESERVE HER & is KIND! not a monster! Is there an image set of those moments of the cast saying that here in tumblr? kindly mention me to see it! I fear going to the tags & seeing spoilers T_T.

[sekceesimps]

A Rose Made of Chains Ch 1

a/n Thanks for the 50 followers everyone! Keep sending us feedback and requests. 

As promised here is chapter 1. Monday (tomorrow) night I’ll be publishing chapter 2 and then chapter 3 on Tuesday night. More info shortly but when we hit another milestone I’ll be publishing chapters 4-6. 

Once again, thank you so much for the support! We never thought that we’d get this much appreciation from everyone. Hope you enjoy!

sincerely,

Coffee 

Teaser   Ch 2    Ch 3

teaser for part 2,    Ch 4,    Ch 5,   Ch 6,   Ch 7

Kurapika (aged up) x Reader x Chrollo 

Soulmate AU where you can find your soulmate through matching soulmarks. 

Chapter 1

The rocking of the dingy boat made it hard for you to stand, but you did so nonetheless. Bitter water and a nervous type of air had taken over your senses. Your determination to get to the exam had forced you to ignore the wobbling of your legs ad you pushed yourself even further to get to the wheelhouse. When you had finally reached it, you noticed a small kid and two others also struggling to stay on their feet as the storm raged on. You had smiled queasily at the tall man with glasses. You don’t remember much during that moment, at least, not until the blonde passenger began a passionate speech. You tuned most of it out until you saw those glowing scarlet eyes, filled with fiery rage and fervor. Those eyes that haunt your dreams and still stick with you even now. You remember looking deep into that vermillion and knowing exactly who the blonde was in that moment. After his dramatic reveal, you yourself had quietly taken out your contacts and looked at him with a matching passion. In that moment, the two of you knew you were destined to be together, two survivors on the hunt for vengeance. 

»»————-　　————-««

The exam itself wasn’t too rough for you. You and the blonde Kurta, who had later told you that his name was Kurapika, had shared stories as you ran together through the first phase with ease. You had learned that he had been the lone survivor of the massacre. He listened intently when you informed him that you weren’t fully part of the clan, but rather that your father had been and you were raised to be a hunter with your mother far away from the Lukso Province. At that time, you were still hesitant to tell him about your home life, wanting to only listen to him and memorize how he looked in case he was also taken from you. You had always believed yourself to be unlucky for inheriting the scarlet eyes. You had viewed it as a mark of death and a hideous trait from your father, as it had been drilled into your head for the past five years. You had confided in Kurapika about this self hatred, sobbing softly at the thought of you and your family being hunted down for them. You hoped these words wouldn't be intense enough for him to leave you too. When the both of you had reached the end of the tunnel, he had pulled you in close and told you that nothing was more important to him than protecting you, the last member of his clan. You remember how passionate he was with this promise, nuzzling his face into your hair. The rose surrounded by chains inked onto his wrist, the one that was also on your body, had gone unnoticed by you. 

»»————-　　————-««

The second phase of the exam was when you truly began bonding with Kurapika’s companions. Your initial wariness, that his friends had initially interpreted as aloofness, began fading away as you took on a more helpful role for them, a role which would later turn into a sisterly one. After the examiner had let you all loose in the forest, you had quickly joined up again with the blonde Kurta, while also going with the people who were on the boat with you. The green haired boy named Gon and the tall man named Leorio stuck close as you led them through the foggy swamp. Through your trek, you had learned more about who they were and in that time you vowed to yourself that you would protect the young boy and try to help him on his quest to becoming a hunter. His demeanor and passion was something you admired and wished to see more of. You remember how in that trek, your small party had come across the magician named Hisoka that Kurapika had initially told you to be wary of before the exam had even started. You were all crouching and watching as the red haired man ruthlessly slaughtered a capable group of examinees. The rest of what happened was a little blurry to you, but you remember your anger when the magician had smirked at you and told you how ravishing you looked and in that moment you had chosen to fight. It had ended rather quickly, his combat skills were much better than you could have ever imagined. Somehow he had still managed to flirt with you while you and Gon tried to attack. You attributed your flushed red face to the fight rather than some of the steamy words he had whispered before tossing you to the ground. Hisoka had easily taken out Leorio but happily said that your group had passed, whatever that meant. The atmosphere was uncomfortable to say the least as you and your companion continued on your way. You and Gon successfully met up again with Kurapika and Gon’s white haired friend from the first phase. Kurapika had quietly asked if you were okay as he tended to a minor wound on your arm. You fondly remember the concentration on his face as you reassured him of your safety, no one you had ever met showed you this type of warmth before. That moment was when you had realized that you cared deeply for him. 

»»————-　　————-««

The rest of the exam had been fairly unmemorable. There was a whole struggle with the gourmet hunters, but you had powered through with Kurapika at your side, as usual. The third phase was unfortunately when you and your new friends had gotten separated. The five of you had lined up on the tiles at the top of trick tower and jumped in. You didn’t know what happened to your companions, but you recognized the urgency of passing the phase and went down the dark hallway alone. You recall the surprise of meeting up with Hisoka during the test, teaming up to brave the last part of the tower together. The two of you ended up successfully being the first and second people to pass, with days left to spare. As the hours passed with you and the magician  wordlessly sitting together in silence, you couldn’t help but think of what Kurapika and the rest of the boys were doing right now. Your anxiety only increased when other examinees continued coming through and the blonde was still nowhere in sight. 

“Darling, what’s got you looking so stressed. Your eyebrows are too crinkled,” Hisoka had interrupted your endlessly running fearful thoughts about 50 hours into the exam. You only sighed and ignored him. “You know, we make an incredible team. I’d love to truly fight you one day. You have this certain aura that I would just love to break” he continued and licked his lips, looking down on you with eyes of pure malice. 

“I’ve got a delicious idea that could tire you out easily,” the man grinned with mischief and scooted closer to you. You glared at him in response, frantically trying to push him away. He chuckles at your pitiful attempt, but leaves you be for now. 

“Thanks for the concern, I guess. I’m just tired and I can’t seem to fall asleep.” you mumbled and fiddled with your hands. You wished that Kurapika were with you, his presence somehow always filled you with ease. 

It was down to the wire, when your hope ran out and you had accepted that your companions would not pass this phase. Sighing you went to Hisoka for a conversation, at this point he was the only person you knew since everybody else around you filled you with uncertainty. It was at that moment that your four companions and some other guy burst into the clearing at the last possible second. You grinned and waved at Kurapika, but he wasn’t looking at you. Instead, he was glaring daggers at Hisoka, who had put his hand on your waist when you hadn’t noticed. You shrugged him off and gave the blonde teen the warmest of smiles. You hoped that it made his heart melt, he had seemed cold after you two had been seperated. 

»»————-　　————-««

Zevil Island was unbearably hot. The whole area was much too warm for your liking. It was almost off putting how hot it was, a sharp contrast to the freezing cold demeanors of your fellow examinees. As you got off the boat, Gon had smiled and congratulated you on coming in second.  This meant that you were one of the first to get off the boat and begin the trial. Kurapika looked far away as you had told him how you planned to stick by his side this time. He nodded solemnly as you told him that you would be off first so you would find him when he started. You had hidden in a tree and waited hours for him to finally get there. You remember grinning and how that instantly put him in a less tense position after you had jumped down and surprised him. You hoped that his ease with you was a sign that he cared about you too. Fortunately, neither of you had a target you knew, so you had both got your buttons fairly quickly, the two of you truly being excellent partners. The rest of the test was spent helping Leorio again, as the two of you powered through together, back to your friendly dynamic. You treasured how he said he wouldn’t let you out of his sight again. With that phase over, and all of you at rest before the final phase, you saw it fit to bring up soulmates with Kurapika. 

“Kurapika! How are you.” You caught him as he was pacing the area in front of his room. 

“Huh? Oh, hey Y/N,” he had grinned with surprise at seeing you, “do you want to go on a walk with me?” His invitation made your cheeks flush red, but you gave an enthusiastic yes and followed him. You talked about meaningless things like music taste at first, then your ambitions, your thoughts on the future, and then finally you brought up the one subject you were anxious about covering. You were beginning to have a suspicion that the blonde was your soulmate. The two of you had just gotten along so perfectly. It seemed like fate intervening when you two had met on that boat and he had revealed his identity. You hoped that it would be him who you’d spend your life with. He was so intelligent and calm. Not to mention, also incredibly attractive. You weren’t too sure how to ask him if he had a soulmate. Your own soulmark was inked onto your thigh, a place that made it hard for others to be able to identify you as their own soulmate. The placement made it much easier to pass off as someone without a soulmate. It was common for people not to have a soulmate now. In fact, it was also a common occurrence for people to lose their soulmate and then their mark would disappear. There were also terrible people in this world who would leave their soulmates, not everyone had a happily ever after and you were especially aware of this, your own parents being a soulmate couple that split up. The concept of a soulmate was once incredibly appealing to you as you grew up, but the more pain you saw in the world the more you gave up on the dream of a perfect partner determined by fate.  Yet you silently prayed to whatever God that was listening for his mark to be a blooming rose being wrapped up by heavy chains. 

“So, what are your thoughts about soulmates?” you inquired casually. He looked at you with a slightly surprised smile before answering, 

“I think it’s definitely an interesting concept. I want to find someone one day. The idea of a person matching and completing my soul is so fulfilling. But it would be too much of a danger for me to have a soulmate right now. I want to meet them later, after I’ve done what I need to do. I just can’t have them be with me, it wouldn’t be fair to them,” he stated seriously, “what about you?” Those few words promptly break your heart. If you were his soulmate, you promised yourself in that instance to hold strong and wait for him. His heart is too heavy right now to take on the burden of you. 

You sit next to him in silence for a bit, unsure of how to answer him, so instead you ask “What’s your soulmark,” breaking the awkwardness. He smiles and shows his wrist  to you. In sharp contrast to his pale skin you see black and red marking his left wrist. A crimson rose encased in black chains, it matches yours perfectly. Your stomach drops. You don’t want to seem suspicious so you run your fingers lightly over his delicate skin and smile, you compliment the design and tell him how lucky he is.  

“Y/N, can I see your soulmark” he had asked so sweetly and looked at you with the soft smoky eyes you had begun to love. 

“I actually don’t have one,” you grin, trying to hide your pained words. It hurt you more than anything to lie to him, to have to see his small amount of joy dissipate. It’s all for the best you think to yourself. Someone as perfect as him shouldn’t have to weigh himself down with someone like me. You smile softly again and change the topic before wishing him a goodnight.  

»»————-　　————-««

Passing the hunter exam and gaining your license didn’t fill you with as much excitement as you expected it to. You felt bad for Gon, seeing as his friend didn’t pass. You liked the green haired boy quite a bit and wanted to help him the best you could. So when your soulmate said that he was going to go off on his own and earn money for the auction, you decided in that moment that it was time for you two to part. You wanted to help Gon find Killua and you needed some time without Kurapika so that you could think of your own future. You told him this but not without a vow to see him again. 

“I promise that I’ll see you again” you declared with angry resolve. Kurapika smiles softly and places a light kiss on your forehead. You sigh and interlocked your fingers with his for one last time. 

“As do I,” he replied, backing away and waving to you and your travel companions. You were going to fight tooth and nail to see him again in York New City.

»»————-　　————-«« 

Icy water splashed across your frail sleeping form. You sharply gasp as the frigid splash wakes you from your dreams about the past. You don’t know how long you’ve been here or even where you are. You let out another sharp yelp in pain when a blade as quick as light rips the skin on your barely healed cheek apart. It always starts like this. A man comes in and jolts you awake, then he reopens the wounds from when they took you, before implementing some new form of injury. The last form of torture is always expected in your day and you weren’t sure in the first few sessions, but in all of them the same dark figure stood behind in the shadows. Watching but never saying anything. You were in agony at the end of every day, but your decisiveness remained the same each time. At the end of these sessions your torturer would ask if you wanted to join his group, you would let out a snarky reply saying no, then he would leave you in darkness for several days before coming back and starting it all over again. However, your resolve was becoming shorter and shorter with each passing day. You didn’t know if your friends even knew you were here. You were starting to believe that no one was coming to save you, no happy ending in sight. All you want is to see your blonde soulmate one last time. The dark quickly closes in again as the door closes shut, leaving you to your dream like state again. 

a/n Chrollo in the next chapter, I promise. Please leave some feedback, as this is my first chapter fic. Anyways hope you enjoyed, Ch 2 out tomorrow!

~Happy Holidays!~

[chaoticpuff17]

A Dangerous Game

part 9

Masterlist

Hello darlings! I was going to wait to release this chapter, but decided to release it tonight in honor of our dearest @deepdarkdelights​. She’s an amazing writer and if you don’t know her, you should go check her out right now!

Namjoon was true to his word. She never left the rooms that were prepared for her over the next week. Jin had come and gone to check on her stitches. He’d even come again and played a card game with her, but her days were otherwise monotonous. Jin couldn’t come to keep her company every day, but the two visits she had been granted with the doctor had been the highlight of her stay. He was also the only visitor she actually enjoyed seeing.

The First two days of her imprisonment had been spent on strict bedrest. Namjoon had threatened to chain her to the bed if she continued to try to get out of it. That had stopped her protests very quickly. And true to his word, while she was trapped in bed, he had his goons come in to seal off all the windows though he was right by her side the entire time it was happening. As it turned out Jin was the only one of his men that he trusted to be alone with her. Paranoid bastard.  

His visits were the worst part of her days.  While he kept her on bedrest, he had stayed home keeping her company, ensuring she wasn’t disobeying the doctor’s orders. He brought her books to read while he would read on the sofas and fussed over her health no matter how many times she snapped at him to leave. It wasn’t like she could escape when the windows were sealed and the door was always locked when he wasn’t in the room. She knew this because she’d checked. During one of the few times Namjoon had left her alone in those first few days, she’d taken the opportunity to check the door only to find it sealed tight, just like the windows.

Once she was free to move about the room, Namjoon returned to his normal activities, whatever those were, but it gave her a little more room to breathe. But there was only so much one could do while trapped in a locked room though. There were only so many games of solitaire and so many books someone could read before they were ready to rip their hair out by the roots.

“Hello, sweet girl!” Came a cheery voice from the entry way, and she couldn’t help but smile.

“Jin!” She cheered from her spot on the floor. “Come play narts with me.” She’d introduced him to the game the last time he came to visit.

“How’s that head feeling, sweet girl?” he asked moving to take a seat across from her. “You know there are two perfectly good sofas, and you’re sitting on the floor, right?”

She shrugged getting up to retrieve another set of cards. Jin had brought her some during his visit to check on her stitches. “Sometimes the floor is the best place to sit.” She returned taking a seat across from him on the floor. “And it has the added bonus of pissing of his highness. Who shoved a stick up his ass?”

There was the windshield wiper laugh she loved so much. Namjoon had cut her off from the world, and considering that she was locked away she hadn’t been able to make any new friends. Jin however was fast becoming her favorite person in the hellhole she was being forced to call home.

“He’s not so bad.” He argued as they both set to shuffling the decks of cards. “He’ll grow on you. He’s basically your husband after all.”

She groaned shooting him a playful glare. “Don’t remind me.”

“What? You don’t like being the new Mrs. Kim?”

“I would literally rather stab myself with a fork.” She deadpanned dealing up his set of cards for him.

“Don’t let Joonie hear you say that. He’ll take away all your eating utensils. He’s very concerned about your safety, you know.”

She scoffed taking a look at the cards that Jin had dealt for her as they started a more leisurely game of narts. The game itself was supposed to be fast paced, but they tended to play it very congenially when they were talking.

“Is that what it is? I thought he was just a psycho.” She placed down an ace in the middle, Jin placing down another one shortly after. “Any chance you’re going to sneak me out of here?”

“I like you, sweet girl. I really do, but not enough to betray Namjoon like that.”

“Then what good are you? If you have a three of hearts I can play a four right after.”

“Sorry. No such luck.”

“Damn. Well, either you need to play something else, or we need to lay down another ace.”

He hummed his agreement as they both shuffled through their cards looking for something else to play. “It’ll get better, you know?”

“What will?”

“Being here.” She paused in her movements, a card hovering midair as she was reaching to place it. She stared at him trying to decide if he was being serious or not. “He won’t hurt you. He’s not that kind of a man.”

“He’s an international crime lord.” She deadpanned.

“But he’s not a bad person. I work for him, and I’m not a bad person.”

“Yeah, well you’re shitty at narts.” She threw out another card glaring at him as she did. “Good people don’t kidnap other people, Jin. I was leaving. I was going home. He could have just let me go. I wasn’t going to be a threat to his empire, not from an ocean away.”

She wanted nothing more than to be home. But she had a way out. Jackson would know by now that something was wrong. Jackson would come for her. He always did. No they’d never been romantic, but Jackson had always watched over her like the older brother she’d never had. He’d helped her get away from Marcus. He’d helped her set up a new life when she was finally free, been her shoulder to lean on as she recovered from years of beating by Marcus’ hands, but she didn’t want him coming here if he was going to get himself killed.

Namjoon was a powerful man, more so than either of them had ever had to deal with before, and she didn’t want Jackson getting hurt. He’d been through just as much shit as she had, maybe even more. He didn’t deserve to get himself killed getting her out of her own mess.

Jackson was a Hong Kong native. He’d been born to the crime syndicates there, granted he wasn’t born to the higher ups. He’d had to fight for everything he’d ever had, and eventually, he found a way out. He saved enough that he could leave, to slip away. And he did. He had no family to worry about, so he left to make a new life for himself. He never discussed the finer points of it all, or how he’d come to be a cop in the states, and she’d never pushed him for the information. But she was forever grateful that he’d come into her life when he had. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if anything happened to him because of her.

“I promise it won’t be so bad here.”  Jin reached over placing a hand over one of hers. “It could be a good life, if you’d let it be. And you have me. And we could play narts!”

She laughed placing her other hand over top of his. “You are my favorite person here. You know that, right?”

“Should I be jealous?”

Jin’s hand slipped away from hers as they both turned to face the newcomer. Namjoon stood leaned against the wall watching the both of them.

Jin turned back to her with a playful smile. “What do you say, sweet girl? Run away with me?” He asked dramatically taking her hands in his and waggling his eyebrows at her. “We can go to Paris, London, Rome.”

“I’d love to.” She laughed ignoring the sharp look Namjoon was giving them both.

It was all in good fun, but she knew full well that Namjoon wouldn’t like their playful banter paranoid bastard that he was.

“That’s enough, hyung.” He pushed off the wall moving toward where they were sat on the floor. “Why are you both on the floor? There are two very nice couches right behind you.”

“That’s what I said!” Jin yelled throwing up his hands in exasperation. “But your wifey prefers to sit on the floor.”

“I’m not his wifey!”  She shrieked reaching over to flick him in the shoulder causing the older man to whine and rub at it as though it was some sort of mortal wound. “It didn’t even hurt, you big baby.” She grumbled settling back into her spot.

“Would you be my wifey then?” He propped his elbows on the coffee table to stare at her with a mischievous smile.

“Sure. Name the date. We’ll get married right away.”

Namjoon groaned sitting himself down on the sofa behind Jin. “I never should have allowed you two to spend time together.”

“Too late now, Joonie.” Jin hummed in false sympathy. He enjoyed spending time with Y/N just as much as she enjoyed spending time with her. It was nice to have a new face in the house.

“You’re back early.” She noted giving her concentration back to the cards on the table placing down a king and flipping over the stack.

“Did you miss me?” He grinned something playful and almost hopeful lighting up his eyes.

“No.” Came the very bland reply accompanied by Jin’s snickers.

“Jagi.” He groaned leaning his head back on the sofa tiredly. “You wound me.”

“Good. Maybe you’ll get sick of me, and I can go home.”

“No.”

“It was worth a try.” She shrugged turning her attention back to Jin. “Jin, darling, do you have an eight of spades?”

He looked over his own cards. “Yes!”

“Great then I can play the nine and ten.”

“What are you two even playing?” Namjoon sighed leaning forward to look at the cards splayed across the coffee table.

“Narts.” They both replied not really paying attention to the other man as they focused on finishing the game at full speed slamming down cards in quick succession.

“Narts!” She called throwing up her hands with a smile of victory.

Jin frowned placing his cards down. “You haven’t won yet! We still have to count the cards!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You still suck at narts.” She grinned gathering up the cards in the middle and beginning to separate for counting.

Namjoon watched transfixed. He had never seen her so happy in the time he’d known her. Jin made her happy. It was the only reason why he had continued to allow Jin to visit her. He truly didn’t want her to be miserable here, but Namjoon was a smart man. He knew it was going to take time for her to adjust to her new life. Eventually she would come to be just as happy here with him as she was playing cards with Jin, once she’d settled.

“Ha!” She cried triumphantly grinning from ear to ear as she laughed at Jin’s scandalized expression. “I won!”

“You cheat!”

“No, you just suck at narts!”

Yes, she’d settle here, one way or another. He would make sure of it.

part 10

[themonotonysyndrome]

The Queen’s Lynchpin

We’re getting to part 3 of the ‘Successors of the Future”! This week has gone back to being hectic so I could only write this part here and there for only a few hours. Still, I’m happy that I could finally finish it. 

And we have the names of MC’s and Yandere!Malleus children as well as his second wife and the other prince! Any piece of info from @tri3tri Second Wife AU is always fun to read! With that said, I’ll be adding their names into the 2 previous oneshots after this is posted so it’s all align. If you want to know more about this AU, please drop by at @tri3tri blog. Their content and drabbles are amazing!

Lastly, I think it’s alright if I don’t add the link and summary of the previous oneshots of this series in every new piece. The intro is just gonna be super long otherwise. But if you guys think that a link and summary it’s a good, please let me know I’ll be sure to add them in. 

-

“Uh Mama? Have you been hearing... noises in the middle of the night?”

“You mean your sister talking to her mirror in her room in the dead of the night? Then yes, sweetie.”

MC smile, deeply amused, when her son let out a huge sigh of relief. “Oh, it’s just her talking to Ren.” 

“I’ll tell her to keep it down if she’s talking to Renata at night, don’t worry.” MC assured him with a pat on his head. 

“Thanks, Mama. Say, do you have any plans for today?” Lucien’s sudden question was a little odd to MC. The three of them have been staying in the house - only going out for a grocery run - lately, and she didn’t have any plans to change it. 

“Not really. I was thinking to catch up with some leftover work from the office before Monday comes. Why? Do you want to go anywhere?” MC inquire curiously.

Lucien is quick to shake his head. “Oh, no, no. Umm... Mama, you often look so sad lately. We know that having Ren away at Twisted Wonderland has been hard on you, so I just thought maybe we could all do something to help make you feel better.” He explains with a bit of hesitance, wringing his hands. It’s clear to MC that this is one sensitive topic that he didn’t want to unintentionally hurt her with. 

MC couldn’t help but smile at how thoughtful her little one is. Really, all of her children can be rowdy in their own way but at the end of the day, she always noticed that they tried so hard not to make her worry. But as the parent, it’s her honour to protect her children - not the other way around. Which is why seeing the hesitant expression on Lucien’s face tugs her heart. 

“Oh, Luci. I didn’t mean to worry you and your sisters. It’s just that...” MC paused for a moment to think on how to properly express her feelings. “None of you has ever been separated from me. The issue with your father is one thing, but I can’t help but fret about your oldest sister. Is she eating well over there? Sleeping early on a school day? Oh, but then again, she does have a habit of waking up around 2 in the morning looking for a snack if she sleeps too early.” MC bit her lower lip, she should have told Renata during their last talk to keep some snacks in her room in case she gets hungry. 

Ever since Renata had first contacted Sherrie and taught her the communication runes and she in return, taught her and Lucien on how to draw them on any mirror in the house, they all have been talking to Renata through the large, hanging mirror in the living room every day. 

“We can ask her if she’s been waking up in the middle of night after our dinner, Mama.” Lucien assured their mother. He took her empty tea cup and pour some tea from the still hot pot and push the porcelain cup back to her. They were having tea and a light meal in the kitchen after he had woken up from his nap. 

Sherrie passed on their invitation since she’s too busy livestreaming her latest game in her room. From below, they could hear her muffled voice. 

MC took a sip and hums thoughtfully. “You’re right, Honey. I’ll be sure to do that. Anyway, you mentioned a family activity - what do you have in mind?” Perhaps a distraction is just what she needed to get her mind off Malleus and the inevitable danger he’ll bring. 

Lucien’s eyes brighten in delight. Happy that he could do something to cheer her up. 

“I found this recipe recently and I was hoping that we can all cook together? It’ll be fun I promise!” He pleaded. Among all her children, Lucien is the only one with the knack for cooking. Sherrie can make simple meals whenever she wants. 

Renata, however, needs to be supervised even if she wants to boil a pot of water. 

“Sure! I’d love to. So what’s this recipe you want to cook?” 

Much later when it’s almost dinner time and Sherrie wrapped up her livestream, MC and Lucien are already in the kitchen preparing to cook. Curiously, she glances at the list of ingredients and steps for dinner that was left on the kitchen counter and her eyes bugged out at what they were going to make. 

“I feel like there are things that mankind should never attempt lest the price be their sanity. And this? This is it!” Sherrie shrieked, flapping the flimsy paper incredulously at them. MC is preparing the dough while Lucien makes sure they got all the ingredients out and ready. 

“What? Boba pizza sounds delicious!” Lucien rebuke with a small frown. “And beside, you won’t know if you like them if you haven’t try.” 

Sherrie just slap her forehead at his words, as if she couldn’t believe this. “I know you’re pretty crazy for boba teas but this is ridiculous! Pizza dessert for dinner? Can’t we have something normal, Mama?” She pleaded their mother. 

MC toss her a playful smile as she rolls the dough. “Well honey, it does sound pretty exciting when you said it. Pizza dessert!” When Sherrie’s face scrunched up in disgust, she tries to coax her daughter, “Aww, c’mon, honey. Look, you can order a delivery for yourself but come have fun with us! I’ll even let you toss the dough if you want.” 

Sherrie folded after that. Honestly, making pizza - of any kind - is always messy process, but her children are having fun with smudges of powder on their faces and MC felt her heart lighten just hearing them laugh. Dinner might be unconventional tonight, but it was worth it to see Lucien enjoy eating his pizza and Sherrie reluctant admittance that it tasted alright, if a bit weird. 

Once the kitchen is all cleaned up and their stomachs full, they settled in the living room. MC and Lucien watched as Sherrie used her old, red lipstick to draw the runes on the mirror. The surface rippled once, sinking the runes and reveal Renata in her pyjamas beaming at them. 

“Good evening everyone! How are ya’ll doing?” 

“Hi sweetie. We just had dinner.” MC said, glad that her eldest daughter still looks healthy and happy. 

“You wouldn’t believe what we had for dinner.” Sherrie interjects dryly. The 3 of them are sitting on the couch with MC in the middle. “It’s so weird!”

“But you liked it!” Lucien countered with a smug grin before turning to his oldest sister. “We had boba pizza! It was amazing!”

“Boba pizza!? Nooo! I can’t believe you all ate them without me! I’ve been wanting to try them!” Renata whines. “I wish we can pass stuffs through the mirror. Wait - I might be able to do something about that actually.” She goes on to mutter about needing to bully the headmaster again.  

The family traded what they did during the day, Renata assuring them that yes, she had a storage full of snacks in her room and that her favourite lesson so far is Flying class. Once that’s out of the way, MC asked her daughter, “How are your assignments? Is Leona-senpai’s son helping you out?”

When Renata told them that her History’s assignment partner is none other than Leona’s son, MC was a bit worried if he carries his father prejudice against Malleus towards her daughter, but Renata assured her that other than his funny attempts at posturing and warning growls, Bakari Kingscholar has been nothing but civil and helping out with researching and editing their papers. 

“Yup! We’re nearly done with our homework and I think we’re friends now? He’s a bit of tsundere which makes teasing him so much fun!” Renata giggled. “You know, just today we decided to have lunch together after our assignment and when I went back to my room and check my bag, there was a candy bar inside. He must’ve slip it in when I told him that I snacked often.” 

Sherrie immediately drop her phone. She was mindlessly browsing through her Twitter account while they talked, but her attention perk like a hound dog. “Whoa, whoa wait - he bought you food when you told him that you eat often? Me thinks he might like you, dude.” 

MC’s eyes widen and Lucien gape. Could that be true!? 

But Renata just rolled her eyes. “Oh please, I think he was thanking me for not making him do all the work. You know those tough guy acts? Yeah, it’s nothing special.” 

Sherrie tilt her head, clearly not believing it, but keep it to herself for now. 

“Being the only girl in a school for boys must be tough.” Lucien mused sympathetically. “I’m glad that you have a friend with you, Ren.” 

“Well, Diasomnia students has mostly been friendly yet distant with me so far. Probably because of this,” Renata twirl her fingers beside her horns to emphasise her point. “But it’s cool. So far, no one tries to bully me or anything. And by the way, I’ve been staying out of trouble, Cherry. I haven’t even landed myself in detention so far.” She proudly announced. 

“Yet.” Sherrie snickers. 

Lucien frowns at her. “Ren has been working hard, Cherry. She’s been sticking to your plans, right? I seriously don’t think she will mess it up.” 

“Nah, it’s all cool Luci. I’ve mostly been blowing off steam during Magishift. It’s super fun! I wish you guys could play too.” Renata said and then proceed to explain to her siblings what Magishift is all about. 

That’s another thing that MC had picked up as Lucien grew up. Despite how close her daughters are, they do bickers as sisters tend to and Lucien usually act as the mediator and peacemaker between them when things get too heated. 

MC couldn’t help wonder if her sweet boy would ever be like this if he was raised in Malleus’ castle.

The family talked a little more until it was getting late. After bidding each other goodnight and MC telling her daughter to keep herself safe, she ushered Lucien and Sherrie to their bed and tucked herself in. 

That night, she dreamt of a past memory. However in her dream, all 3 of her children are laughing and free as they grow in her world. 

-

Now that Lucien thinks about it - he doesn’t really know what Sherrie plan is exactly. He’s aware that they’re doing their best to help Renata avoid being discover by their father as long as they can and Mama told her to make friends with the children of her old friends since they helped her out a lot during her school life in Night Raven College but other than that? He doesn’t know what they would do once father found out about their oldest sister. 

That particular though came back in his mind when he woke up from his sleep because he heard Sherrie giggling in her room. With blearily eyes, he checked the time on his phone and groan. 

It’s 3.15 in the morning. 

He push himself out of his warm bed with great difficulties and slowly padded towards Sherrie’s bedroom. 

He knocked twice and groan, “Sherrie? It’s seriously late. Why aren’t you sleeping yet?” 

“Shit, Luci-chan? Sorry, did I woke you up? You can come in if you want. The door is not locked.” 

With a tired grumbled, he swings open the door and zombie-walk to her sister who is sitting in front of her vanity table, talking to Renata. 

“Hey Luci! Sorry that we woke you up!” Renata apologised quickly, guilty that they’ve disturbed their little brother. “I was just reporting to Cherry that I found several hidden and unmarked paths that connects to father’s castle and to the outside world of the Valley of Thorns. I thought it might come in handy so I wanted to share it with her.” 

That sounds interesting to Lucien. He’s a little more awake now. “Did you use your spells to scout the area?”

“I sure did! Haven’t been caught by anyone or any bat so far.” 

“What... what does father’s castle look like?” Lucien couldn’t help but asked. It’s hard to believe that he and his family are actually royalty. That his Mama and sisters used to live in a castle. 

It’s still hard to accept that he’s actually a prince. 

“Gloomy.” Was Renata immediate reply. All her previous good humour vanishes and her hard glare surprises him. “We hardly get any sunshine because father controls the weather with his temper tantrums.”

“Not to mention that we had to live with basically strangers.” Sherrie added. “I never really feel comfortable around the castle’s staffs. Sure we got the family wing all to ourselves but we still had to deal with them.” Both Lucien and Renata understand her unspoken words: having to deal with judgemental strangers is difficult. 

“What are you going to do once father founds out you’re in Twisted Wonderland, Ren? Are you going to go hiding?” Lucien asked. 

It’s Sherrie who answered him, “No. We’re going to make sure that he can’t forcefully take Mama or any of us back to the castle. I just need a little more info and we can act once the 3 of us are in Twisted Wonderland.” She explains. 

“We suspect that once Cherry hits sixteen, the Ebony Carriage will also pick her up and by that time I’ll be in my second year as a student here. If that’s the case, we just need you here and then it’s the second phase.” Renata took over explaining here. “Rumours spread fast in Night Raven College, but it’s not going to reach to father. He’s in an isolated country. Well, not until he’s here.”

Lucien blink, now lost. “He? Who’s he?” 

“We have a halfbrother - Victor. He’s the same age as you, Luci-chan. Looks like father didn’t waste any time getting his second wife pregnant.” Sherrie said with a smile that honestly send cold shivers up his spine. It’s sweet with a poison laced underneath. Lucien seen this smile only once. A girl from school tried to blackmailed and bullied her into doing her biddings. 

He heard that the girl was transferred to another school in a different state soon after when news broke out that she was selling drugs with her boyfriend to the students. 

Lucien would like to believe that the incident had nothing to with his sister, but he’s seen what she does for Renata whenever she lost her homework or to the English Literature teacher that had an issue with her. 

So Lucien needed to asks this. “Are you... are you going to hurt him?” His voice is soft and careful. 

Through the mirror, Renata eyed Sherrie in which his second sister leans into her chair and relaxes. “I won’t, don’t worry. After all, he’s not at fault.” 

Words are Sherrie’s favourite playthings and at that moment, Lucien hopes she means it. 

-

Funny enough, I’ve been calling S/N (Lucien) as Luciel because it means light and I HC that MC sees him as the unexpected light that Malleus gave her. Her daughters are a treasure but Lucien serve as MC’s light. It’s fate! 

So far for Lucien, my main reference for him are two people actually. Dead Master from Black Rock Shooter and Nisha Labyrinth from Elsword! 

Will expand more on them as I continue to write. Also, I’m shit when it comes to timeline and ages so here’s my rough idea so far:

Renata = 16 years old (first-year student)

Sherrie = 15 years old

Lucien = 13 yeard old

I’ll change the kids’ age if Tri reveal them on their blog.