#I think I wrote a fic instead but honestly??? im not mad about it

[unrealblacklightvirus]

talking about fics...

90% of my Alex's headcanons and personality and characterization is based on either rhythmantics' works (especially the marvel crossover one) or theyreburninghthewhales' fic called "RE:" if you haven't read RE: PLEASE READ IT IM BEGGING YOU it is one of the best works I've ever read in my life (and rhythmantics I think they both occupy the best fanfics in the world I can't put one over the other)

it's a fix it of sorts where instead of alex finding the worst in the world and becoming Edgy(-er) and an Evil Villain, he finds a place that makes him see humanity in its best light UGH its so good and Cross is there and they talk about his biology (how his skin can consume and the hivemind and all that ITS SO GOOD) Alex is also ace aro I think? And that was the biggest inspiration for my alex just occasionally "loosing himself" in the memories of people he consumed and wanting to be a better person. Also alex becoming more human (hobbies). That whole fic could serve as a one to one character background for my alex. Just saying.

Rhythmantics' works I used for defining dana and alexs relationship and they used SUCH COOL designs and concepts, especially about how alex knows he's this monster who can try to be good but deep down he knows his existence relies on the death of people just for him to survive. how he connects to the hivemind and how strong he truly is (there's a scene where he gets mad at Tony stark because it's Tony stark being Tony stark and it's so good because they really wrote it well how alex is a thousand million billion pounds of biomass that is essentially unmovable) is just so well written .

Also the last one I have to mention is "A Dead World" by Laluzi on fanfic.net it's a fallout new vegas crossover (if you aren't familiar with that game it's a lot more confusing to read but new vegas is also my favorite game of all time so...) Alex gets frozen by.... someone? Idk it's not finished yet and I'm still reading it... and winds up hundreds of years in the post apocalyptic future and he is released into the world of fallout new vegas' Nevada. It's beautiful it satisfies EVERYTHING I've ever wanted in a fallout fic AND a prototype fic (alex struggling with himself, his autism attitude which honestly same alex, finding people to eat when there's a fraction of the population left in the US, GREAT characterization of not just alex but Courier 6 and all the companions, UGH just EVERYTHING) ALSO one of the best fics in the world. All three share top spot!!!!!!@

rant over

[llycaons]

ep14 (pt1): oh boy romantic montage time

wwx as a teenager is genuinely more compassionate than he's portrayed as

aw shit mention of the oath

I've often been confused by this sequence. if they showed wwx actually entering the shell instead of suddenly cutting to him inside this big red cavern, I think it would have made more sense

also I've often complained that animals don't have large rooms in their bodies like that but I just realized....oh yeah it's an ancient twisted monster. animal biology need not apply so 🤡

honestly I found this fight scene very drawn-out and uninteresting. the special effects for the fight were somewhat awkward and I was kind of bored. this was good though

wyb does 'devastated' very well

I'm kind of missing the donhua ngl. I like cql the best but the donghua was just so focused and clever and creative with the story

wwx is all kinds of fucked up after this fight....not just from his concerning readiness to die but probably also from connecting with this cursed fucking sword. he seems really out of it, and seems to be in a drowsy sort of honesty when he's like 'oh lan zhan...I didn't think I'd be able to meet you again' which is a very...nitimate thing to say? bc later when lwj gives him spiritual energy and he's a little more himself

he sees lwj all lit up and helping him and he starts complaining about how 'boring' it is. face your feelings, wwx! stop avoiding them! you think lwj is beautiful and unique and special and you like him a lot!

it's also. I feel like wwx doesn't feel like he even has the right to have an attachment outside of the jiangs? in some scenes he's really enthusiastic about himself and lwj being partners but in others he hastily denies it in order to smooth things over with jc, so jc doesn't feel abandoned. oof. we'll get to that

okay the top one is the viki and the bottom one is the youtube version which I remember! why are the translations the opposite of each other! also the youtube version is literally higher quality im so mad

god damn I love the lyrics to wuji. they almost don't matter, since they never come up after this and they're not relevant to the song's significance within the narrative, but they're perfect. it's about the struggles of a lifetime, about grief and joy, the ups and downs of being in the world, of reputation lost and gained. vague and poetic, and achingly relevant. that last line about sharing a tune together at the horizon....that's the finale, isn't it? just beautifully put together and a powerful reflection of the story itself, wwx's rise and fall and the pains and joys he's going to face. cannot believe a 16 yr old wrote that. tho if it was anyone, it would be lwj wouldn't it

lwj is ALWAYS the one leaving without saying goodbye! no wonder wwx lost faith! in this context the gusu situation is a little urgent but like. he couldn't have left a note?

I've read a few fics where they sleep together in the cave and 1. nasty and 2. that would make him just leaving after so much worse 😭 I do not endorse the first time cave sex headcanon. I still don't think it would realistically happen until ep 43. too early here, and after sunshot wwx is terrified of anyone touching him because they'll be able to tell he's lost his core. so as fun as angsty sunshot hookups are, I simply cannot see it. tho that would technically also be a factor in ep43, I don't think wwx cares as much by then if lwj knows

aw shit good job jzx

jc is yelling at wwx AGAIN and complaining about not being recognized for his efforts. my dude he just woke up from a week-long fevered sleep chill out. also can jzx stop crowding him? it's like these idiots have no idea how to treat sick people ALSO. why did jc have to run for help? they had a ton of people there. couldn't they have removed the boulders themselves? huh, maybe the wens were hanging around and all they could do was flee

wwx and ljw have such main character energy that wen chao KNEW they stayed behind to kill the false xuanwu...okay

the shidis are learning archery and jyl is just...standing there. okay! couldn't have had her like, reading or doing crafts. nope. just standing there. probably looking out for her returning brothers but like. come on

I really love that jfm personally goes to teach the little disciples. he's gentle and encouraging, and provides a reassuring and secure presence, and I'm sure his students love him. despite his flaws I'm very fond of him esp here

oh wwx, fainting again. first of many

this detail is legit so freaking cute. and wwx's warm smile upon seeing it and knowing he's home 🥰 this supports my 'wwx is a hopeless romantic' agenda. I did laugh when the donghua gave one of them huge boobs but the wx subtext in that show was so potent I can't really accuse them of straightwashing. more evidence for him being bi is all

good for you, jc

see, here he's trying to make jc feel better by calling lwj boring and jc just - lashes out. wwx tries this entire scene to deflect praise onto jc and diminish his accomplishments and to support jc and jc just treats him like shit. no wonder their relationship is so terrible later if jc treats him like this just bc he's mad. can't he see that wwx has no more control over this situation than jc does? he's just the acceptable target in jc's eyes bc jc can't be mad at his parents!

like wen chao was trying to murder mm and string up her body to attract the monster which they were going to be expected to fight without weapons. what the fuck was he supposed to do? and he's not even the one who started the fight! AND if he hadn't stayed behind, how could everyone else has escaped? I didn't see jc offering any other solutions! jesus

it sucks that jfm is implying that jc doesn't have the right temperament to lead the clan, but he's literally the only person in authority to push back against jc's treatment of wwx this arc. and he's literally right that you shouldn't speak from anger. it's not what a leader should do, it's not fair or just, it doesn't allow you to speak wisely or carefully, and it's not something that will lead anywhere good. but after this arc all jc does is lead from anger and bitterness!

it's also so twisted that wwx feels responsible for this and tries to defend jc as 'he's just mad and venting' which he says is fine here but later in the story he bitterly complains about. like I know he loves and misses LP as an adult but this entire situation was absolutely noxious for everyone involved. ppl talk about jyl being parentified but wwx felt obligated to do the same for jc as well and put aside all his own needs and emotions for jc's as soon as this shit starts up. he acts like the undeserving servant as soon as he feels like he needs to I feel dizzy

[ghost-of-the-machine]

honestly dreading my birthday cuz how are they gonna fuck it up for me this year?

i dont think ive had a single birthday i didnt cry on. they use it as like an excuse to go do things which sure! if we wanna go do things thats fine, but.. they dont even let me pick where we go, this year is one of the only times ive been like. i said hey maybe we could go here sometime and we're actually going. i hope its okay, im not excited cuz my moms bringing her husband and they. should be divorced already but whatever i just?

my birthday last year fucking sucked. they took me out to like. minigolf which was alright! i do like minigolf and not to brag but i was pretty good at it... but there were too many people, it made me really anxious and then the one time i tried to like. snap myself out of it and try n enjoy my time, i made a joke to my sibling (like a clear joke too i just said i was gonna kill em, i say shit like that all the time and they do as well) and they decided for the first time ever to take it seriously and get mad at me for it so it ruined my mood and i was just waiting to leave

i think the worst part? we went to panera bread cuz i like the breadbowls, and. look, there have been very few times in my life where i dissociate so hard im seeing myself from above but.. being surrounded by family in that building and having not a single one near me or talking to me? having them all talk to eachother and leaving me alone there in the middle? it hurt, it hurt a lot. it made me realize they dont actually care about me, this is their birthday basically. everyones birthday but mine

i wrote myself a little like. bday fic with kelvin before my bday last year but. after the actual day i abandoned it completely, the whole thing was ruined for me. it sucked

we're going to the aquarium for my birthday, so hopefully ill have a good time. im scared though, itll be ruined for me im sure. my mom will call my dom, but she'll misgender me, my grandma will deadname me blatantly, etc. i. i wish i could take myself out on my birthday instead, maybe.. i wish i could spend it with my friends. anytime ive gone out with my friends, ive had the best day ever. im never deadnamed, never misgendered cuz i act totally different, im 10x more confident and i carry myself with certainty, people recognize me as a man from BEHIND, even if my face is covered they recognize it (which is something thats important to me, ive always been afraid my eyes are like. too feminine or something)

my family wouldnt like that, but. i deserve to be happy on my birthday, right? i dont even CARE about it that much, like genuinely thats how it is i dont give a shit about the day i was born cuz its never been fun for me. i want to experience it just one time, one time with my friends instead? i dont care what we do, we can do whatever THEY want genuinely, just like we always do. id have such a great time no matter what

it just sucks, im bracing for it. i hope they bring my niece and focus on her the whole entire time like i GENUINELY would prefer that so much, like omg yes look at the 5 year old having her first aquarium trip yippiee!!! and ill go fuck off and enjoy the fish somewhere else

[michpat6]

;w;; do you have any Fi headcanons that you haven't gotten to spend much attention on in fics yet?

hiiiii @novantinuum, thank you for the ask!! I absolutely do have fi headcanons :)

um so if anyone sees these headcanons and wants to use them  in any way absolutely go for it

i can’t explain it but she really loves pineapple. i think she’d find the way it burns your mouth and tries to eat you back fascinating. whether or not she can feel the burning sensation is up to creator choice, but it’s my other headcanon that she doesn’t have tastebuds but would try her best to imagine what the burn feels like and let out a monotone “Ow” every now and then to try and relate to everyone else (whether this is funny or sad is up to the vibes. i think it works best as both)

more about food, Fi can cook anything perfectly, but can’t season it. There’s no way to predict how much garlic or salt to use in a dish because that’s all up to your heart’s desires, and Fi is still learning how to use hers. Yes Link is her test subject. 

she’s also on a quest to develop tastebuds because she really wants to taste pineapple.

i feel like her skin/body is really cold?? because she’s vaguely metallic?? so she loves sitting out in the sun like a cat just to bask in a warmth that, in her eyes, she’ll never be able to achieve on her own

she may or may not start to warm up the more she accepts the way she’s changing and how she has emotions/a newly-developed heart

despite all the heart talk, she doesn’t exactly have a pulse the way humans do. it’s more like a constant humming because of all of the divine energy that’s stored up inside of her (you can’t convince me that skyward strikes aren’t because of fi. you can’t. she’s an insanely powerful eldritch alexa who wants to eat pineapple okay)

she can remember anything she’s ever seen and heard, which always helps in an argument or when she’s doing her best to be sarcastic/tell jokes (another learning curve), but this also means she’ll just sit still and stare off into space/at a wall for hours at a time and when someone asks what she’s doing she answers, “Watching a play from fifty thousand years ago. Would you like me to restart it and tell you what’s happening?”

in a post-botw2 world where this could be happening, this leads to Zelda, Purah, and Robbie inventing a screen that can show Fi’s memories so she doesn’t have to orate all the time, possibly a new rune on the Sheikah Slate. Yes they invent television and Fi is the very first channel guide/remote. They make her go stare at Hyrule Field for seven hours for a nature channel, but she ends up “recording” over it because she got distracted by a wolf and started thinking about the Hero of Twilight, remembering how strange it felt for the Master Sword to melt into his wolf body whenever he transformed. Zelda instead asks if Fi can show her some different Heroes and their quests so they can correct any history books/write new ones. 

I feel like Fi and any of the Impas would be besties. I can’t explain it they just would absolutely dance together because Impa has perfect balance and the want to learn how to move her body in a way that isn’t fighting and Fi has never been all that close to Zelda’s protector and she wants to change that. They bond over laughing about how dumb Link can be sometimes.

“I had to tell his first incarnation not to eat lava.” “No! I had to tell him not to eat a muddy rock just yesterday!” THEY’RE BEST FRIENDS 

Despite how much she enjoys it, Fi doesn’t sing a lot because “There are no Goddess songs you have not already heard, Master. I do not know any other music.”

Link pulls out his ocarina and makes up a new song just for her to learn and sing, and once she’s mastered it the humming of her “pulse” matches the notes of Her Song.

I just think Fi being untethered from her duty and learning how to be a person is cool :’)  

[relaxxattack]

hey im the anon who sent you the link of Ranboo saying the boundaries of character shipping

good job not answering my ask and just ignoring it entirely and instead reblogging all of you're 'ran and jackie arent beeduo' bullshit. Real mature to not even attempt to open a debate.

It doesnt matter how much backstory that you wrote or who the characters were based off of, it is still their tftsmp characters, and Knifetrick breaks boundaries.

hi friend. honestly i didnt feel like opneing a 'debate' with you because i've been 'debating' all week, and honestly? i'm tired. it may be immature, but it's true, sorry

anyway, it's as simple as:

1. ranboo said don't do anything weird with his character (i have seen the clip many times)

2. therefore i do not under any circumstances do something he hasn't done with his characters before. i only follow his example, to be extra safe, because i'm a paranoid person, and i care. i don't think anything he himself has done with his character before can be considered weird.

3. i know you don't believe me but like. ran is so far removed from ranboo i honestly forget they even had a link in the first place (until this drama started that is). like, if i were to read a fanfic about she-ra, aimee carrero would probably not be on my mind? if i were to read a shipping fic about TAZ characters, i wouldn't picture them as the literal mcelroy brothers? that's kind of... weird?

like, i really doubt i'm gonna change your mind, especially because you seem to be pretty ticked off already. but i have a whole group of people and a lovely editor who hate weirdos who would have murdered me by now if knifetrick was actually weird, so i think the fact that i'm alive is a good sign.

i'm really truly sorry, but, i don't see how it's my fault that you don't know the difference between actor and a one-off character they played one time? maybe that's too harsh idk :/

i could see it with c!ranboo because they share a name and are way too similar for comfort, but like. ran... isn't... ranboo. i'm sorry.

i don't even know why i'm explaining since i'm pretty sure you'll just get more mad.

anyway, i'm sorry about all this, and i'm sorry for making you uncomfortable.

[deripmaver]

4 5 6 for ALL OF THE CaPri FANFICS

LKSJMDHGVLKSJ ALL OF THEM???

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue? 5: What part was hardest to write? 6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

Ink On Paper (tongue fic) 4. lmfaoooooooo there isn't a whole lot of dialogue in this one oop-

Laurent nodded. The wax softened as he pressed his hand into it, erasing his previous message. Soft, warm, melting under his touch. He wrote again, I need someone who is not afraid to read out the insults I make towards the idiots at court. You have been fired, Damianos.

i guess it technically counts lmfao. i just wanted to show laurent post-trauma still able to make jokes and snipe at his husband so it wasnt all doom and gloom 5. i'm not sure exactly what "hardest to write" here means because like... a lot of these fic have serious gore or otherwise upsetting content, but both emotionally and actually writing wise i find that kind of thing actually pretty easy to write hahahaha. i think i got stuck with the chronology and the decision to make it non-linear made it flow a lot better. for the record writing laurent getting raped and then having his tongue cut out was actually very easy to write, i think i got it out in basically one go. #cancelme the more fucked up and intense the easier i find to nyoom through it 6. my first ever fic in the capri fandom!!!! hehehehhehehe <333333 Level Of Concern (plan B fic) 4.

Before Nicaise could say anything, Laurent spat, “Does he know you had your first heat?”

SURPRISE nic was the one who was pregnant the whole time!!!!!!! 5. this one i banged out REALLY quickly so i cant think of anything here 6. capri omegaverse!!!!!!! i wish there was more of this 🥺🥺🥺 Like Me (what if Auguste was also abused fic) 4. ******CW INCEST MENTION CW ABUSE MENTION******

“Your brother’s stuck his dick in every single member of your family,” Auguste spat out, laughing, crying, and so miserable he thought his heart would stop. His voice rose again, and he felt something burst from him as he screamed for the whole world to hear, “Did you know that? Did you, huh papa? Did he fuck you too?”

dude this line is so fucked up lmfao but i enjoyed writing it so much. actually this entire scene where auguste is having his breakdown was really intense to write and im really pleased with how it came out OR

Auguste grabbed him suddenly, looking up into his grief-stricken face desperately. “Please, Laurent,” he pleaded, voice breaking. “Please. Don’t let him end up like me.”

i felt entirely too clever with this line lmfao. i was like ~ooooohhhhh title drop~ im so dumb 5. i just remember this one like. dragged on for some time. i couldnt figure out what to do with it, how to get everything to coalesce around the final reveal about auguste 6. plot twist!!!!!!! plus auguste angst. i really enjoyed this one, i wrote it after watching the movie Spotlight which is one of my all time faves Softly, Gently 4.

“My King has been overexerting himself again, I presume?” Paschal sighed, shaking his head with a fond smile. “When have I ever done that?” Laurent cocked his head to the side, a wry smile on his face.

hehehehe sassy laurent my beloved <33333 5. honestly im just going to skip this one from now on lskjghmvlksjhglkvsjhdl i just get "stuck" sometimes without rhyme or reason and its usually on boring stuff, but then i cant remember later. the hardest part for me is when my dumb fucking adhd brain wont let me focus on writing but once i overcome that its usually pretty smooth sailing 6. horny omegaverse.................... my beloved............... giving men vaginas for horny reasons my beloved......................... Water of Life (birth fic)

“Do you want to hold him?” Erasmus breathed, eyes glassy. The baby cried, Erasmus bouncing him tenderly in those sunkissed arms. He looked apologetic. “Only for a moment, it’s not quite over yet.” A playful smile danced on Erasmus’ lips, and he brushed away a slick, damp curl from the wailing baby’s head. “A head this big, he certainly takes after Exalted.”

a cute, fun lil line in the sea of horrible angst lmfao ORRRRRR

Erasmus knelt before Damen, before Laurent. He said, “Exalted… Can you command his Highness to push?” Damen froze. “Do you mean…?” Erasmus nodded. “Alpha command.” Damen’s expression crumpled. He said, in a voice that shattered Erasmus’ heart, “I can’t. I can’t do that to him.” Erasmus licked his lips. “Exalted, in this state, he can’t push. His contractions are weaker. He’ll-” “I can’t,” Damen cried, clinging to Laurent’s limp body like a lifeline. “He’d… He’d never forgive me.”

damen is so sweet........ he loves laurent so much...... ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

He stopped at the doorframe, turning to face Laurent with tears in his eyes, and whispered, “How long does it take, your Highness?” Laurent, shocked enough to respond, hissed, “What?” “I still wake up in the middle of the night thinking of it,” Erasmus said, voice thick in his throat, tears burning at his eyes. “How long until it’s over?”

real sad hours if u up click like. i love erasmus and laurent bonding over their shared trauma <33333333333333333333 laurent and erasmus friendship propaganda 24-fucking-7 bay bee!!!!! 6. unironically this is one of my fav fic ive ever written skdljmfhgvlksjdhflmgkvjshldkjfghvmls call the midwife is one of my favorite shows and writing this made me look at birth as something visceral and possibly horrible and traumatic. i wanna write more fucked up birth scenes, SO MANY MORE. ridley scott knew what he was doing Sandalwood (erasmus/kallias my sweet boys i love u so much) 4.

“I do,” Erasmus breathes, ducking his head, flushed as though embarrassed. “In the gardens, the perfume from the orange trees all around us on those summer nights.” Kallias smiles behind him – Erasmus knows his body so intimately he can feel it in how Kallias’ posture changes, though he can’t see the soft turn of his lips. “The scent was so cloying I thought it would drive me mad. It made me want to kiss you senseless.” Erasmus laughs, breathlessly, imagining the warm heat of Kallias’ mouth against his. “Don’t blame that on the orange trees, dear one.”

beloved..................... im weeping.......... 6. these two make me fuckign CRY ON THE REG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH MY SWEET BOYS YOU DESERVE THE WORLD- Wisps of Smoke******************* (lauguste fic) 4. ***CW EXPLICIT INCEST*** (i mean....... obviously lmfao)

“Call me what I like,” Auguste growled against his ear. “You know what I like.” He did. Laurent did. He knew everything Auguste liked – the slow flick of Laurent’s tongue on the underside of his cock, that tender spot behind his earlobe, the way Laurent’s thighs looked straddled atop him like his horse – and this. “Brother,” Laurent gasped, desperate, “Brother, please, harder. Harder.”

i wanted the incest to be explicitly part of the kink here lmfaoooooo 6. hehehehehehehhehehehhehe lauguste................... i need to write more of u But I Love It (laurent is allergic to latex fic) 4.

“Laurent,” Auguste said, voice high in warning. Laurent braced himself, stiffening visibly. With what seemed to be monumental effort, Auguste continued, “You know, Laurent. I’m proud of you.”

IM A SOFT BITCH OK???????????????? auguste is PROUD of his baby bro for overcoming his sexual trauma and getting that fat dick 6. SLJHVDLMKJDHGVLK PEOPLE FUCKING LOVED THIS FIC i tried to be funny and i think it worked. plus some softe bits thrown in. i also kind of see lots of humor fic where its a no abuse au, but i wanted to write something comedic where the regent still. existed u kno????? anyways hahahahha i dont think i can write anything like this again but im glad y'all liked it Is It Cold In The Water (slice of life fic) 4.

Laurent opens his mouth to say something cheeky, but instead, what comes out is: “Do you think Aimeric had the right idea?” Damen is quiet for so long, gaze serious and framed with his long, dark lashes, that Laurent wonders if he’d spoken aloud at all – and when he’s sure he had, he realizes Damen had remembered Aimeric after all. When he speaks again, the sleep is gone from his voice. “Laurent,” Damen says carefully, as though approaching a spooked horse, “Is something wrong?”

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 soft,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 6. ruby likes this fic lskjdvhmflgksfjdhmvglkjsdhflkvgmjhlekjfhdvlgskjfhv im a SIMP- The Devil's Got Nothing On Me (AIMERIC FIC LEGGOOOO) 4. there are lots of lil nuggets in here!!!!

Aimeric blinks, and all he can think is, you knew? He says, "I – I just." "I am a patient man," Guion breathes, "I support everyone in my household. Everyone. But Aimeric, you are truly testing my patience. Your mother came to me in tears, begging me to find you. Look at what you did to her! There was nothing I could say until we found you!" "I'm sorry," Aimeric whispers, looking at Loyse, "I'm-" "Look at me," Guion roars.

this conversation was inspired by a very miserable encounter with my boss lmfao. fuck that guy and fuck guion

The regent, blue eyes sparkling - and Aimeric has never thought eyes could look just like a summer sky until now - says to Guion but really to Aimeric, "I was thinking I could take little Aimeric riding tomorrow. Just the two of us." Loyse says, before Guion can speak, voice trembling with relief, "I think that's a wonderful idea, your Highness."

~dramatic irony~ lmfaoooooooooo. WE know of course that this is a bad thing, but it's always fun to have characters make bad choices that they have no idea are bad. i also did this briefly in "Like Me" with auguste's ex wife taking nicaise to church because she was so overwhelmed at home and he offered to help. of course, the regent is always happy to help out. evil evil evil

"-was worried it might be difficult for him." A soft, lilting laugh. The guards had said the regent was in the library, and then there is Guion, right there with him. Aimeric is suddenly angry, not sure why his father is with the regent, who is his and no one else's. The regent responds, "I daresay it's been perfectly easy. It seems you've done most of the work already."

i wanted to highlight the fact that it was aimeric's neglect that lead him to the regent in the first place. hence "youve done most of the work already" - guion by ignoring and neglecting aimeric created the perfect environment for the regent to sweep in and take advantage. like leaving food out btwn 40-140 F is a perfect breeding ground for bacteria LOL. the books touch on that but i wanted to make it explicit

He is so, so ashamed. It's unbearable, the thought of her kind eyes, the way she cried for him, the way he pushed her away. Before he'd left to join the prince's guard, she had taken his hand, kissed it, and said in a voice fragile as glass, "It's been such a long time since I've seen you smile like that," but in that moment he could think only of the regent's letter warm in his pocket.

6. honestly i know ive sounded super conceited this whole time but i kind of tear up whenever i read through the end of the fic lmfao. aimeric is just so fucking depressing as a character and i love that i really got to explore that in this fic. he really didnt have anyone, did he????? he's like a tragic greek character where you just watch him stumbling towards his inevitable end and it hurts the whole time. its even worse on the reread ANYWAYYYYYYY thats it. thanks so much for the ask anon!!!!!!! feel free to send me more!!!

[fanmoose12]

I am not over it. I am SO not over IT. I read the SNK manga YEARS ago when it was only chapter 100 and one day I had the dumb idea to continue that shit. I am not PLEASED and Hanji's death UTTERLY WRECKED ME, someone who wasn't even a Hanji Stan!! reading the manga made me fall in love with her quiet determination, leadership skills, and sense of duty when before I was more of an Armin type of girl? She just. won me over. and her death was NOT OKAY. I CRIED while saying no no nO NOOO OH MY GOD -

and it TORE ME APART and she was the only person in my mind ever since and I couldn't read the manga in the same nonchalant way ever again. i'm sorry i promise im getting somewhere! it legit ruined my moods and made me so sad all the time IT WAS THAT BAD and i started hating eren with absolute passion. Idek where to start? How her death was pointless & nobody gave a fuck?? and Levi thought of FRICKING ERWIN instead of Hans & I wasnt even a Levihan shipper it doesnt make SENSE! He just LOST HANS

-- and all he can think about is FUCKING ERWIN. come on MAN, and she parented the 104th even REINER had more emotions than these mfers. Everyone is alive EXCEPT HER, like onyakapon and even yelena, minor characters, it just feels so UNFAIR, i'm not mad abt death, i breathe angst like it was chocolate it was just so pointless and meaningless and no one even grieves, especially Levi who was closest to her. there was just no room for her in the plot anymore and thats what makes me pissed -

- not bc it was her time, but bc she ran out of uses to the plot and like in GOT where the character is smarter than the author. not only that, she was made so powerless and pathetic and she felt so useless and she died like that. where's the justice? the character arc? right she was there Just to Save Levi :// it's like that quote from gone girl - "the world will know that [man] threw his beloved wife like garbage, and she floated past down all the other abused, unwanted, INCONVENIENT, women"

(sorry for the fem pronouns, i'm all abt anime hange here). and its not like she wasnt a fan favorite, she's top 3 of the last character poll. just bc shes not levi and eren and armin. and cmon. yams had to nerf and minus 100 out of her iq for the INSANE plan of fucking zeke and the yeagerists, can you BELIEVE she trusted and was OUTSMARTED by ZEKE, who legit massacred the survey corps, even though SHE HAD THE SAME LEVEL OF IQ?? but noooo, plot reasons!! shes not eRwIn, what you expect 🙃

im upset, not bc my fav character died but bc it was meaningless (if falco can fly, why tf didnt he do that in the first place) and hollow in logic and in emotion. maybe snk's lesson to us is life is unfair and we should suck it up. it wasn't well earned & yams wrote hanji in a corner, like (again) in GOT where no matter what daenerys chose she was wrong. sorry i dumped all this to you!! if you're still here, thank you for listening to my month long pent up emotions, im still really sad about it

- and idk how to let go? but your writings have definitely made me feel better, it just comforts me like Levi to a bottle of bleach. thank you for still writing!!! about an anime girl in a fictional world and still delivering more emotion than the original author. my heart definitely feels better these days, though it still aches bc she deserves so much better & didnt deserve whatever the fuck she was given, thank you for championing hanji zoe rights! im 99% sure she wont be revived -

but she lives on in your writings and other fanfiction authors and artworks and i'm just so grateful we have a community like this, honestly im just glad you're here :) keep doing what you do and i hope you're safe and warm & healthy!! also to every hanji stans out there one fucking day when we love a character the author wont rip our hearts and throw it to the garbage, im so so sorry for my long long ask but if i could request maybe eren apologizing to hanji inpaths or when she got captured or

or when she died or you choose!! i saw this art by @siroyuki 2015 in twitter where he's hugging her and shit, you should check it out it gave me feels!! i just want her to be loved and appreciated :((( again thank you so much if you made it this far! im sorry if you're annoyed or smthn HHAHAHA i promise this is the last! thank you for your service to humanity we stan 💪😩👌💕💞 

ah don’t you let canon frustrate you, it doesn’t matter anyway :D like you saud, we still have fics and fanarts

however, yeah, i do kinda feel you :/ like the way yams keeps glossing over hange's death is actually a bit weird? like i know they're at war and i know that they have no time for grieving etc but the kids were literally bawling their eyes when hange died but no mention of her sacrifice at all after that? like in 136, gabi said that they should stop the rumbling to repay azumabito's kindness and that's ummmmmmm.... a little bit weird. sure, gabi is a little girl with no connection to hange but reiner, jean and connie were there, when gabi said that and they saw hange’s sacrifice, so why not say something like “yeah, we can’t let commander hange’s sacrifice go to waste?” like come on. what did azumabito do? let falco transform on the board of her ship, so now she travels on a boat? i don't think that can compare to hange's acts though. she literally brought these mfs who were ready to jump at each other's throat together and then she sacrificed her own life to give them yet another chance at success. a sacrifice that was proved to be utterly meaningless in the very next chapter? why did falco learn about his ability to fly only after hange died? why didn't he discover it upon first transformation? :/

oh, and speaking of hange's character arc? like i get it, she was depressed, she struggled with her role as a commander (even though she did everything she could and she did a damn good job at it). and i guess that this plotline was kinda resolved when she heard that erwin approved of her actions? and that's cool, if what we've seen was actually an afterlife and not hange's hallucination. because if it was indeed a product of her mind then that's, um, kinda depressing bro. hange was so desperate for someone's approval that she dreamed about it while literally dying. i just don't understand why yams didn't include a scene where kids tell her how much they respect her and what an honor it was to serve under her command or SOMETHING. but as it is, hange died, thinking she was weak and useless and, um, yeah, certainly not the end you want for your favorite character :)

so yeah, hange's death was kinda meaningless and pointless - it didn't serve the plot whatsoever + it could have been very easily avoided 

[gnarf]

Gnarf’s 2020

and what a fucking year that was... Anyways, let’s talk about the good things, shall we?

I made it through 2020 alive and without going insane! Yay! So lets see what else I did. (This is a long post)

In the beginning of 2020 I said I won’t participate in many fests. Only three or something like that. Lets check how that went!

Fests Gnarf participated in: 9

@lockdownfest @lcdrarry @hd-wireless @hpfluff-fest @hd-hurtfest @hd-fan-fair @hd-erised @gameofdrarry in drarropoly @wireless-festive-minifest​

Haha yup, three. Sounds legit. I also wandered off to try if I can art! No worries, I gave that up :D Mad respect to all Artists, arting is exhausting and the progress is too slow for me.

If you really want to check out my attempts, here’s what made its way onto AO3:

Dont Blink! for LCDrarry, it includes the Angels from Doctor Who and was a pain in the arse.

If you knew... was made for H/D Wireless and has the armiest arm i ever saw, very proud of that one. Its also the last thing I made.

Home Sweet Home was also made for H/D Wireless, and the first bigger art piece I tried my hand on.

A muffled groan which is rather explicit and I entirely forgot about making it :D it has a ficlet going with it too.

(I think theres other Art stuff here with the tag #gnarf draws or something)

I reached my yearly goal of writing 100k words once again!

Fics and Ficlets I wrote this year: 20(ish)

Better Side of the Bed (Lock Down Fest, T, 2k)

It was all Malfoy's fault. Harry could be at the Burrow right now, but instead he was trapped in Malfoy's tiny flat. All because that dick couldn't stop bothering him about a stupid life debt he didn't even care about.

Doing What's Best (G, ~800 words)

Lucius looked down at the little bundle currently sleeping in Narcissa's arms and felt terror shoot through his body. A little boy, his hair so white it was nearly invisible. Born only a few hours ago, taking his first breath in the light of the rising sun. Narcissa had whispered a welcome, her eyes wet, her smile bigger than ever. But they both knew, even though temporarily safe, he really wasn't. Draco was born into a world ruled by war. If only it'd end soon.

I better be hallucinating this (T, 3.8k)

After the war Draco Malfoy is sentenced to Azkaban for a really long sentence. Apparently aiding in Dumbledore's death overrules any argument Harry could put up for him. After the trial, as the days pass by, Harry is more and more outraged at the sentence. He can't stop obsessing over the fact that Draco Malfoy saved his life and aided him during the war and is very much capable of redemption. Not to mention that Malfoy has always been a delicate git and would never survive Azkaban. After a few weeks obsessing Harry decides that Malfoy indeed can't remain unjustly in Azkaban and starts to plot a way to break him out of jail and hide him in Grimmauld Place. When Hermione finds out she's not amused. Ron is horrified. Draco still thinks he's hallucinating.

Keep Holding On (Wireless, M. 33.333) A collab with @maesterchill​ who surprised me with lovely art for it!

After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry and Draco both fall into their own battles with their mental states. Draco is sent to Azkaban, and Harry turns to drinking, hoping to forget. Months later, Harry visits St Mungo’s new ward on the request of a friend, only to find Draco in a deep vegetative state. Not willing to give him up, Harry stays by his side, while simultaneously dealing with the Ministry's newest grand idea to make everything worse. Making new allies, and losing old ones along the way, will hopefully be worth it in the end.

Age is just a number (Fluff Fest, T, 1.5k)

Married for decades, their life is perfect. Until Harry gets a call and hears the following words: "Mr Potter, we caught your husband stealing ten large packs of King Sized condoms."

There was still hope (Hurt Fest, M, 3.1k)

Draco winced as pain shot through his leg with every step. This secret, back-alley laboratory had been his last chance, last hope, to find the potion. But nobody had it in stock, and there was no time left to brew it himself. Panic was slowly overtaking his entire mind as he crept out of the store and back to the nearest alley to Apparate back home. He already felt off, and it was still early in the day. Of course this thestral-shit had to happen to him, of all people. As if life wasn't bad enough for him already.

Desire (E, 1.7k)

"Auror Potter, what a pleasant surprise to meet you here. What can I do for you?" "Stop the show, Malfoy. There's no one around, and I'm not here as an Auror." Draco watched Potter move closer until they were nearly nose to nose, only the small counter of his shop kept Potter at distance. Potter's eyes were dark with something Draco couldn't exactly name, his face was flushed and the air surrounding him felt somehow static. Draco felt the urge to lean further over his counter, to drink in his sight, to touch the man on the other side—but he didn't.

Drarropoly 2020 currently holds 7 ficlets and is in a Series. The highest rating is Mature and its 3.2k in total at this point.

Let's not wait for France (Fan Fair, T, 17.7k)

All Harry had wanted from his Eighth year at Hogwarts was a little peace and a little privacy but, from the moment that he stepped onto Platform 9 3/4, it was obvious that nothing was ever going to be that easy. An accidental bond with Malfoy that resulted in them having to stay together at all times was the final straw. Things couldn't be worse. So much to a quiet year in Hogwarts.

Love letters for the oblivious (Mini Wireless, T, 716 words)

Draco had gotten the strangest letters all week long, which wasn't what anyone needed at Christmas. Especially not him. Either someone was taking the piss, or he had a very dumb and inefficient secret admirer. And Draco didn't know which would be worse.

Double-Booked (Mini Wireless, T, 2.1k)

Finally, peace and quiet, and— "Malfoy?!?" Or the one where Harry thought he could enjoy a quiet Christmas far from everyone, just to find out that the cabin he had booked already accommodated another guest.

The best Christmas he ever had (Mini WirelessT, 1.9k)

Christmas had never been less appealing to him than this year. That was until Arthur Weasley showed up at his door, dressed as Santa, inviting him to the Burrow.

Anon Fests to be added

Whoever made it to this point: yoooo! Friend! Lots of love to you! I also got tagged in many get to know me posts, plenty of love in my Inbox giving me love slaps left and right (honestly, im bruised, stop slapping me), amazing person awards, top 5 fics, and whatever you can think of.

To make up for not answering most of them because I’m a horrible person:

My favourite colour: purple My age: I’ll be 30 next year in April, I expect gifts, I don’t accept first borns My favourite trope: eight year My favourite animal: cat My favourite ice cream: Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough Here’s my writing Playlist, it’s the worst you’ll ever see, and yes, I use YouTube, I’m old.

Other things that happened in 2020 that made me happy:

I kicked out my mentally/emotionally abusive partner of 7 years in January

I kept my grandma alive through this *waves hand at world*

I was able to share my birthday cake with my family becaus I got to leave my first quarantine a few days before my birthday

I got to keep my job

I found a lot of lovely friends in this fandom, and got to keep them through this year

My cats are their usual little jerks and actually enjoyed me being at home due to the raging pandemic

I finally cut off my hair

I’m about to hit 3.5k followers here and I love you all

I’m also tagging everyone who sees this and wants to do something similiar! Show us what you did in 2020, the things you’re proud of, and the things you loved! Let’s spread some happy for the end of the year 💜🥰

[crossdressingdeath]

In my fic I wrote a chapter from LWJ's pov and obviously I wrote in some grapehate cause we all know LWJ will never in any universe like JC and I had a JC stan who loved my fic thus far say that they were really sad cause JC is great and loved by everyone in Yunmeng (im sorry what fanon is that?!) And how I should've made it so that LWJ was less harsh on JC when this is the part she was mad about:

"Wei Wuxian was never one to follow someone simply because he had to. Instead, he did what his morals determined was correct, which was usually the right thing. Even though he was not raised to be a sect leader, he was a better leader, at least in Lan Wangji’s eyes, than Jiang Cheng. Sure Jiang Cheng was raised as a sect leader, however, his temper was too volatile, and had it not been for Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan, Lan Wangji was certain that Jiang Cheng would’ve never decided to start an investigation."

Honestly I didn't think that was too grapehatey but apparently it is?

That��s... really not grapehate at all? That’s just... LWJ hates JC, he’s not exactly going to try to flatter him, and JC’s temper being way too volatile for him to be a fantastic leader is just canon. And also... yeah, canon makes it pretty clear that the people of Yunmeng do not love JC or even like him. They’re afraid of him, but they don’t love him.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[mynumberfivethings]

i have another blog where i write fic for another fandom and i talk it out a lot w anons mostly so others will see those interactions and say something along the lines of: “oh man, i love this idea, i’d love to write it too but ur already gonna do it, so no point” but i constantly encourage them to write it anyways bc i am the type of person who loves to read and re read the SAME concept/trope over and over bc i enjoy it so much, so like, what? ten similar stories written by ten different writers? SIGN ME TF UP pls! u know? 

and the fact is, there hasn’t been a genuinely “original” idea in forever, so ya know, fuck it up ppl! it’s fanfiction! idc! 

so when ppl get mad about others writing v similar fics (as long as its not an obviously word for word copy stolen from the original work) i just cannot wrap my head around said anger? 

like, my longest WIP in ao3 rn is this tua AU im really enjoying working on and i remember being in the shower in early september one morning and getting the idea, which is basically: ooh, what if the temps commission decided to save five fifteen years into the apocalypse instead and he worked for them for a couple of years and he broke his contract at age 30 and after doing some math decided that the best way to stop the apocalypse from ever coming to fruition was to murder reggie??? but then he gets stuck raising the rest of his siblings (all of who are only 14, since in this AU he’s only been missing a year in their timeline)---and basically i had this idea and thought oh shit, this would be so cool bc there’s SO MUCH to explore, like reginalds death, five being mr. mom, grace gaining full autonomy thanks to five, pogo finally owning up to some shit, the kids realizing the extent of the abuse they suffered and getting to be KIDS! the temps commission eventually hunting five down! vanya’s meds could be addressed and everyones shock at learning she has POWERS! like, damn, the possibilities in my head were ENDLESS 

so as soon as i hopped out of the shower i wrote the general gist of the idea down in my phone notes app and left it there for like two days? only bc as much as i felt this fic calling my name i also knew it was going to be A LOT and i wasn’t sure if i was up to the task. so two days pass and i end up writing the first chapter, editing, revising, etc and i look at the final product and im happy w it so i post that bitch, and the next morning i wake up to this person complaining in my inbox that i ripped off their idea, and i looked at their fic (the titles are SO SIMILAR!! it’s a quote from season 2-”I’m the daddy”) and the summaries are also very similar, and they posted it literally two days before me, on the VERY  same day i had the idea originally and i just think its so funny bc like, BRUH, i was over here like look at me w my original ass idea, i love this AU, omg, big galaxy brained bitch over here that i am, hehehe, only to find out that our brain cells, from probably thousands of miles away connected very briefly on that early September day to come up w the exact same concept, like. damn. 

i did read their fic tho, and thankfully they took it in a v different direction and so while the general idea was the same, the stories differed SO MUCH so i was just shook, like, dude, did u even read my story??? 

BUT ANYWAY, all this to say: there has never been, nor will there ever be, an original idea, if we’re in the same fandom, i guarantee we’ve all shared ONE single braincell at some point and come up w the same fic idea, gif idea or meme idea and i think that’s fuckin swell honestly.  

[asexualzoro]

for fanfic writer asks: 3 4 9 11 16 17 25 28 34? sorry if thats too many lmao,,

context for anyone else reading this: they texted me after to let me know to answer anchor and/or beholden for all of these

3. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter? 

anchor: im... fond of the image of Jon and Tim sitting together under a shock blanket at the start of this fic after the Prentiss attack........... its not even particularly compelling i just think about their Last Moments As Friends and i get really fucked up 

beholden: TIM FUNERAL MONOLOGUE FROM CHAPTER 7

4. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of [Fanfic Name]? 

anchor: i wanted to do more with Tim’s guilt about not being able to save the original Sasha from the Distortion’s hallways, but i think i forgot and then there wasnt really a good place to put it in. Martin kind of talks about it, but eh. 

beholden: in my original plan for the prentiss attack Sasha was supposed to get separated from the crew and find Gertrude’s body instead of Martin (whihc was honestly meant partly to bully the readers/jon into being worried abt her running off on her own during the attack, and partly bc shes the only one who actually met gertrude). that didnt end up happening then, i didnt have a good reason to get her in the tunnels

9. If you had to assign a theme song to [Fanfic Name], which would you assign? 

beholden: this fic has a shit ton of songs attached to it already... inexplicable - the correspondents is maybe my favorite choice tho 

anchor: hmmmm. im digging thru my 800 song playlist and i think im gonna say well-dressed - hop along OR i told you - civilian

11. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

hmm... i think character driven? mostly bc i read this and thought “isnt all writing character driven?” which i guess answers that, huh 

16. What fanfic tropes do you avoid writing for?

uhhh i mean. i dont write or read anything ns/fw bc of being ace/sex-repulsed so probably anything along those lines

17. What fanfic tropes do you gravitate to writing for?

ive posted... lemme count here... 5 fics which include a plotline about either someone being replaced by a fake OR concern about someone being replaced by a fake, and i can think of, off the top of my head, two more id like to write if i had the chance. so like. that. 

25. What scene in [Fanfic Name] took the longest to write? What was difficult about it?

i wrote anchor in one sitting so im just answering beholden for this one and.... for whatever godamn reason the answer is peter lukas’s introduction. i dont know why!!! i got stuck here for a month!!!! i still dont even like it much!!! peter fucking lukas cursed me and i hate him so much 

28. Is there a part of [Fanfic Name] you’re surprised no one has picked up on yet? 

anchor: i wrote this so that it would repeat and parallel itself so much that reading it literally felt like circling / spiraling and i know people noticed this but i think this is mostly bc i told this to every single person i could. if anyone noticed this on their own they did not manage to tell me before i, very proud of it, said as much

beholden: there are some jokes in beholden no one caught for the longest fucking time and i think theyve all been picked up on by now but personally i think s1 Tim-or-Sasha (dont remember which) saying “you could injure [Jon’s] hand with a particularly strong handshake” is up there for funniest shit ive ever written and i was SO MAD no one noticed 

34. Have you felt emotional while writing a scene before? What scene was it?

again i would like to say if youre not getting emotional writing your scenes i dont know what youre writing for i make myself emotional all the time

still, hmmm. a fun fact about beholden is any time Jon gets emotional in his internal monologue abt missing his dead friends it is because i, personally, got emotional writing about Tim and Sasha (usually) and then immediately threw those emotions at Jon 

[kewltie]

YEAR END FIC REVIEW 2019

This year I wrote:

The Dumpster Fire - a bunch of random ‘verses 

to catch the golden snitch 

we're young gods 

all these delicate things 

no peace, no quiet in your eyes 

rip out those wings, darling 

the little prince 

interlude: world's okayest dad 

—to the moon and back 

as the moon bears witness (i swear to you) 

ao3 tells me that’s 95k wc if we discount random teasers/snippets i only wrote on tumblr & twitter than we’re well over 100k. 

Overall thoughts

I honestly thought I wrote less this year giving how many actual new stories I have up on ao3, but over 100k is still a pretty admirable job so far so I can’t be all that disappointed in myself. I don’t have an actual estimate wc on everything bc I post random snippets/teasers on twitter and than move the more edit and polish version on tumblr AND THAN i move it to my dumpstire fire collection if it fit. so like, i don’t know exactly how much wc i did but still moderately impressive given how profoundly lazy i can be lol /o\. 

there were a lot of things i wanted to do but i didn’t get around to it bc i held myself back from committing to various big projects due to my promise/obligation to updating social media au :S. which i guess is good bc i didn’t add on to MORE WIPs but also depressing bc im stuck in a rut bc of it. i hope to explore more projects next year!

My best story of the year

“we’re young gods” prob my psuedo mad max post-apocalyptic wasteland abo au... GOD WHAT A MOUTHFUL. outside!pov has always been one of my fav narrative piece to write esp when im building a evolving world that come with it. i love a post-apocalyptic landscape, the fight and survive theme has always been a deep fascination for me plus w/ abo which makes it even more interesting. i talk a lot about the idea of kingmaker and the person behind the seat of power/throne a lot and i wanted that deeply in a lot of my ‘verses bc stories of movers and shakers of the world are always fun bc their actions have such HUGE RAMIFICATION and i always like politics and wars a little too much lol /o\. 

My favorite story of the year

“to catch the golden snitch” bc i really like my veela!katsuki fic the most. prob bc it plays into adapting some familiar concept/theme/source (HPverse) and putting my fav spin on them with bkdk. i have always been fond of creaturefics in hp fandom so i knew i wanted to make another VEELAFIC bc why the fuck not. it also play into my fav trope of katsuki being something inhuman, dangerous, and beautiful and also SO COMPLETELY WHIPPED FOR THS HUMAN BOY ;D. 

Most fun story to write

“to the moon and back” aka DRUNK!IZUKU FIC!!!! bc HELLO DRUNK IZUKU IS THE ABSOLUTELY BEST.

Story with the single sexiest moment

“all these delicate things’ or aka the panties fic bc unf i really like see man indulge in feminine things esp when they’re someone who had such a history of violence like izuku who had suffer so much hurt in his life; AND ON HIS BODY which are riddled with scars and i think should allow yourself to be kind/softer to yourself and things like panties are so DELICATE that idk i really dig that juxtaposition??? A LOT. 

Most "holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story

“rip out those wings darling” aka mutual yandere fic i was originally given a prompt by someone but my giftee dropped out so I RAN WILD AND CAME UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT. idk i always like fucked up relationship esp when it’s mutually assured destruction kind of fucked up where they both equally crazy about each other and im all for that. fandom has a habit of making izuku being super creepy stalker but they make him violent rapist and that doesn’t sit well with me. you can make izuku creepy and stalkerish w/o playing into that kind of things :S. i hate how darkfics these days are like fall under that purview when you can have darkfic w/o necessitating sexual violence... like pls explore mindgames and emotional/mental manipulation more like man i think that’s much more interesting so i tried that with this fic. izuku doesn’t hurt others or hurt katsuki BUT HURT HIMSELF to manipulate katsuki to care for him and im like SO ABOUT THAT bc it play into his self sacrificing nature w/o me bending his characterization to make him into something recognizable and katsuki violent obsession and possession with izuku is ramped up but it isn’t sexualized but about ownership and wanting to izuku enough to to kill and idk i dig their mutual destructive habits about each other lol. 

Story that shifted my own perception of the characters

i swear to god i don’t like the villain!deku trope. im more indiff to it than anything but the trope tend to twist him into something unrecognizable to me but when i was coming up about this ‘verse i wanted izuku to be a bit jaded and betrayed by the world/society but still SO EARNEST AND HOPEFUL about it even though his goals has twisted in a way that by saving it he has to break it first. somehow trying to true to himself as he slip further and further in darkness and i just find that kind of duality fascinating????? like how do i keep in character but make him fall and see his struggles b/t both sides and i find myself liking villain!deku just a tiny, A TINY more and open so much potential. 

Hardest story to write

“as the moon bears witness” bc i did a rushed job on it and I HATE IT W/ THE FIRE OF TEN THOUSANDS SUNS. there’s so much i wanted to include but i fucked up and i hate how much I FUCKED UP ON IT. this is def the fic i regretted the most bc i knew what i wanted but i couldn’t exactly execute it correctly but instead of trying to think of a way to fix it i just let it go and i hate it and myself ever since than. UGH. 

Biggest disappointment

"AS THE MOON BEARS WITNESS” for the exact same reason as above. i want to rewrite this so SO BAD and i will. 

Biggest surprise

i didn’t have any surprise fics tbh. everything that i wrote is pretty much under my purview LOL but i found myself being more active on twitter the last half of the year and writing more threads (i.e. live writing) than moving it on tumblr. a lot of pieces i written on twitter was sudden for me and took me hostage but ya know what i go with the flow anyway bc what can i say im just a weak, weak girl w/ zero self control. 

Most unintentionally telling story

maybe “no peac, no quiet in your eyes”? I think that idea slapped me across the face bc i spent a week getting really obsessed with asoiaf fics on ao3 and man I LOVE POLITICS AND WARS?? did i mention that??? i love dynastic rules, warring kingdoms, and a love earth shattering enough to move mountains and i wanted to see that so much so that ‘verse kind of happened. 

Story I haven't written yet, but intend to

omfg SO MANY JUST SOOO SOOO MANY. i would really to get around to writing a full fledged fic of either surrogate au or sperm donor au bc i love that kind of unconventional family and romcom are like YA KNOW MY WEAKNESS. 

Goals for this year:

like every year i keep saying i want to do tododekubaku fic and maybe 2020 WILL BE MY YEAR??

finish social media ch 2 before/around my bday of this month as a gift to myself a;sjdf;alsjdf lol 

take on more projects that won’t land in the dumpstire fire collections

explore new fic avenues bc i always like trying new things and breaking in new genre/tropes bc why the fuck not

write all THE CLICHES and don’t let anyone tell me otherwise about my omega!deku loving ways

[inyoursheets]

11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

oh my goodness i WISH i had clear insight into my own writing process from start to finish, but honestly? im not that methodological, i think.

i usually start out with a collection of ideas -- and these ideas can be VERY vague. it can be a collection of random objects to scene ideas to themes. i throw them in one document and keep adding things until something of a plot emerges.

it depends on the nature of the fic a little -- most of my PWPs just start out from three bullet points, for example something like this:

jealous!rio

beth showing up without panties

rio’s chain makes an appearance

and then i just start writing, wherever, whatever. but warm water in particular started out with a list of descriptions of their apartment! that entire fic was inspired by me seeing an illustration of an apartment with a lot of blues, but it somehow still conveyed a lot of warmth. that made my mind go *bing* ROOMMATES FIC. so i started out by thinking about the apartment itself. the initial apartment list included:

Floor pillows (beth insisted)

Lots of blues

Long standing mirror (scene)

Tiny, messy kitchen with a fridge filled w/ left-over takeout and Greek yoghurt (for protein), cupboards full w/ rio’s protein shakes

Plants on stacks of books

Big windows, lots of light, one window that creaks

Lights draped places, definitely candles around

One leather couch, kinda worn, needs blankets

some of these things changed -- no floor pillows made it to the final cut, the greek yoghurt has become skyr, idk if draped lights are a thing or not but later on i realized it would clash too much with rio’s aesthetic. so it’s really just a collection of random details that helped me get a sense of the space.

then i made a list of scene ideas. mind you, at this point i had 0 plot in mind besides “ok so it’s gonna be friends-to-lovers”. some examples:

Beth getting ready for a date, standing in front of the long mirror, Rio helping her get her necklace on (top-tier romance)

Working on the couch together, Beth’s legs in Rio’s lap, him rubbing her feet at some point?

rio coming home w/ a pierced nose and beth driving him mad by not even mentioning it

beth lotioning her legs while rio bursts into her room to ask something but getting distracted by All That Leg

falling asleep together on the couch?

again, some of these never made the cut, and some of these grew way beyond their initial idea. then i made a list of plot points, which includes zero actual plot points, a list of “symbols/motifs” -- demonstrating that idk what those mean -- which has only two things on it:

Blue -- the apartment; the hottest part of the flame like the romance inside their friendship

Windows and doors – cracked open, closed off, indicating their closeness? Movement? Transformation?

and a list of phrases i wanted to use in the fic; and a list for each OC. aria’s original list was:

Likable pls

Great humor – maybe her and beth already have a good thing going before she asks rio out?

Never connected how well beth and rio knew each other bc they never show up to the coffee shop together

that first bullet point was very important to me hahaha, as ive talked about here, tho i wanna emphasize again that likeability is not that important.

from then on, i just started working on whichever scene idea sparked the most inspiration that day, kept adding onto different scenes until it started to come together a bit more, and then as i was working on the scenes i suddenly drew connections between them and could build the bigger story.

THEN i listened to hozier while the sun set in my apartment and i wrote the final scene in one go, which changed the ENTIRE fic. i initially wrote this fic as beth not being in love with rio yet, but with the final scene i realized -- nope, wait, actually i want the feeling to be mutual from the start, but they’re both just not gonna know and not talk about it and miscommunicate for chapters on end. this whole incident made me consider the emotional truths of the story instead of just the fluffy, rom-com-esque scene ideas i had, which forced me to do a lot of rewriting and planning and thinking that, as you can probably tell, i hadn’t done from the start. the start was just “omg big windows!!! floor pillows!!!! let’s go!!!!!”

the oh-i-should-consider-emotional-truth realization made me write with a lot more depth and throw in a bunch of reflections in different scenes. i went back to different scenes to look at: ok but how can i add some more... depth here? how can i show where beth’s at, here, in terms of headspace? bc initially it was just “haha, he sees her in panties and is AmazedTM” whereas now it’s also about...idk. friendship. communication. boundaries. the fear of being known, whatever.

im still in the process of writing this fic -- it terrifies me, but there’s a gap somewhere at the end of the fic where i need to justify something else ive written later in the fic -- so this isn’t start to finish, but here’s how it goes for me! there’s ofc also a very tedious editing phase for each chapter which is NOT my favorite part, lemme tell you.

the instigator had a pretty similar process, though warm water takes the cake bc it is not as “contained” as the instigator. the instigator had a clear prompt and then developed much like warm water -- it started out with a list of random lines/interactions/details/sex positions i wanted in the fic, then i made the infamous sex schedule, then i just started working on whichever position i felt like working on, and every now and then work on the prelude to the sex (which was, of course, the hardest, bc how does one get from point one to point threesome?) and the aftermath.

so yeah! that’s how i do! it has a hint of chaos, but i like it, bc i just go with what sparks the most for me in the moment, then figure out the connections later. sometimes that part of the process is less fun bc i don’t always know how to connect all the random writing i did, but once i do figure it out, it’s sooooo satisfying!

thank you for asking!!!!!! writer ask game

[thaliatimsh]

if its alright! wrt the 'directors commentary' asks, honestly anything /Anything/ for 'imperfect life', oof :0

ONE DVD COMMENTARY TRACK COMING UP BECAUSE HELL YES you may ask me about this one. GOD I HOPE THIS READ MORE WORKS OR I’M GONNA DIE OF SHAME. For those of you who’ve missed my pleas: imperfect life is on AO3 here. read it or i cry.

Okay I reblogged that post with not much of an idea about what I’d actually have to say but imperfect life is at least at the forefront of my mind lol

First things first I’d had an idea for a fic about Hodgson At Mutineer Camp that i wanted to write floating around my head for a while that was. I suppose centred on the sheer Betrayal of GIBSON YOU CHANGED MY SHEETS FOR THREE YEARS? WHAT THE FUCK? And as I did more research abt both of them and found that they’d been on ships together & that it was likely that either Hodgson or Peglar got Gibson his job? Fuckin wrote itself, especially seeing as in show-canon Bridgens is the Peglar Papers Steward.

Anyway I’ve said this before to everyone who’ll listen but I will say it again: I think Hodgson is misinterpreted & underappreciated by a lot of the fandom &  it makes me SAD and also ANGRY.

Like: I once saw someone say that he was “mad about Jopson’s promotion, so fuck that guy”? NO. He MISSED Jopson’s promotion! He would have gotten a KICK out of Jopson’s promotion! You BASTARDS! Hickey picks on him SPECIFICALLY because he’s out of the loop! I’ll kill you!

Ham jokes? I’m coming to your HOUSE. man’s as ‘obsessed with ham’ as any self-respecting naval officer starving to death in the arctic

Then there’s the “Who is this?” being taken as some kind of a-okay for cannibalism instead of a guy who saw someone shot dead just last night and then spent the morning burying said dead'un being literally scared out of his mind by a greasy lil rat with a knife and Tozer blocking the tent flap with a fuckign RIFLE. DAMN YOU ALL.

Do I think he’s a complete FOOL? YES. Do I think he ever had any kind of malicious intent? NO. Okay anyway I’m gonna talk a bit more abt that later so let me go back to the next part lmao

So Part 2 of the George Henry Hodgson Saga was then to figure out why he had to go stay with his aunts - this ALSO came pretty straight to me, for whatever reason. I think it might have started off as just his parents pleasure jaunt, but as I was thinking about later scenes with Jimmy Fitzjas I came up with a thing abt - Im not gonna find the reference now but in the battersby book there’s a bit abt William Coningham going to take the waters at bath or whatever for Weak Lungs which OBVIOUSLY made me think of my favourite comsumptive Of All Time Fryderyk Franciszek Chopin & the countryside retreats he & his sister Emilia took for their symptoms as teenagers (and unforch Emilia died of tuberculosis aged just 14… rip)

ANYWAY I had some VAGUE idea that George n Fitz could have some kind of Passing Discussion abt Brothers With Shite Lungs that obviously never came to fruition but. Lol whatever, it gave me a reason for why My Parents Sent Me To Stay With Two Aunts.

UH. Right, so then like the third leg for this to stand on was that Fitzjames and Hodgson had ALSO served together & Fitzjames had: 1. recommended Hodgson to the expedition 2: mentioned him TWICE in his Voyage of the Cornwallis 3. Mentioned him in his letters to the Coninghams from disko bay (one of the only Terrors mentioned - there’s a passage abt Fitzjames going to look at the icebergs with Fairholme and Hodgson. ANYWAY; show-canon Hodgson has a sense of humour and I really think he tried to make the men see him as approachable, at least compared to the other Terror officers and that reminds me a lot of how the historical Fitzjames seemed from mystery man! Seeing as they KNew each other I think it’s not unfair to suggest that he’s trying to emulate an older and more successful officer! He wants to succeed! He wants to have fun and to be loved by The Men!

My friend said something very Prescient abt this to me recently which was that THere are a lot of similarities between Hodgson & Fitzjames and it’s kinda like. Fitzjames is the Ideal, and Hodgson just misses the mark. He’s the average man’s James Fitzjames and because he doesn’t know about Fitzjames’ surplus of political luck that only makes him feel more of a failure. Fitzjames gets a bullet that gets him compared to Lord Nelson, Hodgson gets in the gazette as ‘slightly wounded’. Even their monologues! Fitzjames gives a soul-baring confessional he’s never talked about before to someone he respects and he gets! Affirmation! Gets told that he’s a good man and brave and loved! Hodgson gives a soul-baring confessional he’s never talked about before to someone he respects and gets! FUCK ALL! A MAN SITS IN SILENCE! He has to fucking! Walk out alone after all of that! FUCK!!!

Okay so this whole fic just sat in my brain for probably like six months until I literally sat up in bed because I worked out the last piece of the puzzle

(Drac has an epiphany, July 4th 2019, colourised)

Which was, of course, 'Hodgson went to boarding school’ - which is what all of this ends up hanging off of! Boarding school culture! The younger years are servants for the upper years, who in turn are responsible for the younger students!  including discipline etc so like… if a younger year brought something up to their “fag-master” it’d be sorted by them and maybe prefects, without getting schoolmasters etc involved.

WHICH is why George doesn’t tell the captains about what happens to Neptune, because he’s out here trying to be a good fag master and get it sorted himself! His own fag master fucked him over by getting the schoolmasters involved when they oughtn’t have been! He’s not about to be Archibald Harrington-Thurlowe! He’s not okaying the mutiny! He’s trying to minimise the damage *on his own* like a fuckin idiot!

IF YOU CALL HODGSON A MUTINEER I’LL COME TO YOUR HOUSE N MAKE YOU GET LOST AND ABANDONED AND END UP EATING YOUR BOOT BEFORE GETTING 'RESCUED’ BY THE SAME GREASY RAT WHO LITERALLY MURDERED YOUR PAL AND TRICKED YOU INTO SLAUGHTERING CIVILIANS! I’LL. I’M NOT HAPPY.

I’m just basically so upset about 'one perfect moment in a whole imperfect life’ being a childhood memory that he was taught to see as so shameful to compare it to cannibalism under duress? FUCK.

A whole imperfect life in GENERAL has me fucked up! He just kept trying and kept just missing what he was aiming for! I mean. That’s relateable. Not one part of a life turning out as you expected or planned? ME!!!! Your achievements add up to nothing and no matter how hard you try you end up a footnote! FUCK offfff

I had some difficulty with the religious angle for a while because. hm. okay. To start with the religious angle IN-CANON is just.... not correct. Catholics don't let you drink the blood. The church of england DOES... and that's what most of these men ARE. The Papist Speech as a whole was cobbled together from one of Crozier's ~Visions~ in the book - and it's important in that case that Crozier is IRISH... Poor analogy, writers! Putting aside that he was also... SEVEN... maybe he was an unusually tall seven-year old, people assumed he'd had first communion/been baptised & no one wanted to cause a fuss... I mean the guy has lead poisoning so it's fair to mis-remember but... YEAH. Messy, which is a shame because it's a powerful monologue very well-delivered, shame it's complete fucking nonsense 😂 (not to be like... SMH Americans but... smh Americans...)

Anyway, as I wrote it? that’s me. I wasn’t raised religious - my dad’s an old-school small-town Continental Catholic, my mum’s agnostic but raised CofE (but *her* dad was raised Jewish (also continental) during WW2), I think they couldn’t be fucked with the drama, I never went to church or anything and as a kid when we had prayers at school assembly I didn’t know what I was doing!!!! I felt bad because I couldn’t fathom God as a concept!!! I still can’t! But as a kid it’s like. I don’t understand and on account of that I’m afraid I’m going to Hell. tfw you write what you know.

ALSO there were definitely a couple of times where I wrote G H Hodgson as played by B W Wooster and I will not be taking constructive criticism on that.

ANYWAY My brain has kindof turned itself off now but I guess this is just. My own personal backstory to this jhsgfjhs. I actually probably have about 400x more to say but it’s fully evaporated. thank you SO MUCH for asking me though. i die.

[parelmoer]

There’s this fic on ao3 about adam getting accidentally engaged to declan (he sees a stranger that he has a crush on, aka declan, get into an accident and tells the hospital that he is his fiance so that he can visit him i guess) and he literally lies to everyone including declan himself that he (adam) is declans fiance. And then he meets ronan and falls in love w him instead but just keeps lying to EVERYONE about the fiance thing, literally leaves declan on the day of the wedding to be with ronan and it makes me so fucking mad. It honestly infuriates me sooooooooo much. Can you imagine toying with someone’s emotions like that and then just discarting them as if they are not worth a single thing to just do what you want and run off w someone else. Like what the actual fuck was the person who wrote that fic thinking???????? Why cant i just have normal declan content where he is, idk, treated like a normal human being???? Who deserves to be treated w respect like you would treat literally anyone else??????? And no one in the comments said anything about it????? Everyone was just going on abt how cute ronan and adam were?????? I honestly wish that i hadn’t read it, but im just so desperate for declan related content