#I think for the sake of my sanity that’s the last I’ll be talking about the finale

[gale-gentlepenguin]

What is your opinion on the comments from the writers about the season 5 finale and the finale itself?

So I should say that the only comments I’ve seen (from the translation ) and this ( post )

My opinion on the writers and their commentary regarding the finale.

I do understand why they did the things they did.

Limited resources and wanting to utilize what they had.

I totally agree with their use of Piano Lucky Charm.

I think the fight the physical fight with Monarch and Bug Noire is phenomenal.

I can tell a Lot of effort went into planning this season out.

And as a Writer I can respect the references, nods, foreshadowing and jokes that were put in.

Fang using Kung fu is a hilarious image and it’s my favorite shot outside of monarch having a piano dropped on him.

People can say they like the ending, and if they do, awesome. I’m glad that you can enjoy this ending that I don’t.

So let’s have that put at the forefront

That is everything positive I have to say regarding the commentary and I will be going into detail on my ‘Problems’ below. And yes I will be getting angry.

(You have been warned)

I absolutely LOATHE their explanation on how they justify their ending.

Everything about it makes them sound pretentious and arrogant. They sound like they think they are being so clever with an ending when the ending is actually a fucking punch to the face of ANYONE that cared about having a resolution to this arc.

If the writers were so keen on having us CARE for Gabriel’s little arc. Why not take that Kwami’s choice special and replace it with a two episode arc of Gabriel, Emilie and co getting the miraculous? They can’t say budget because they could use flashbacks or the re-enactment from Representation.

And my goodness, the mental gymnastics it takes to say “Gabriel put down his other rings which means he lost” NO IT DOESNT. He is making his wish, he won. Why the heck would he need them after?!

“His wish is vague, so we don’t know what he wished for.” I DONT CARE IF HE WISHED FOR FREE ICE CREAM FOR EVERYONE ON EARTH! HE WON BY EVERY METRIC! It’s unsatisfying, it’s gross, and it feels all kinds of wrong to the point that my soul as a writer feels personally insulted.

The arrogant pretentious Pricks don’t even realize they left Ladybug in the losing position once again! She’s going to have to suffer the consequences of the wish. Not the person who died VINDICATED.

In the words of Brooke from one piece

“Death is never an apology.”

But she got the miraculous back? Yea, AFTER the villain got what he wanted. Adrien never finds out about any of this, Marinette is left gaslighting and hiding things from him, just like usual but now MORE people are keeping things from him.

All of this writing just end up with a cool final battle scene and then take a metaphorical dump all over it because their peak in character development is outfit changes.

The ending isn’t unsatisfying because it’s meant to be. It’s unsatisfying because it made 5 seasons of watching ML pointless.

And I didn’t think I could hate the finale more than I do. BUT THE COMMENTARY somehow made it Worse!? I don’t know how the f*** they did it.

But knowing their intent and knowing this ending was always intended makes VOLTRON’s ending SEEM serviceable. And yes I know how bad that sounds and I FUCKING MEAN IT.

[wolfchankki]

I loved your Soobin fic 🤭 and I loved it so so much, and I thought I'd request smtn, idk about you but when I see Beomgyu I always think of him as a bratty bottom, so here's what I'm thinking:

・FemDom reader (Like femfem.. No one can tell she's the top.. I don't see enough of those type of doms iykwim)

The scenario would be that reader and Beomgyu are roommates, reader is more on the introverted side so she doesn't go out much unlike Beomgyu does, which makes him think “She's probably haven't sex before” so he'd tease her until one day reader is over it and puts him in his place!

For kinks I'd want to see some overstimulation, slight degradation (or praising degrades), pet names, maybe a mommy kink?, & toys (vibrators)

That's all from me for now 🤭

Hello babe, good? Thanks for the request! I’m sorry for taking so long to post, but today I finally had a day off, and I hope the little longer writing make up for my delay. You guys are going feral over bratty Beomgyu and I’m loving every moment of it so far JSHKSHKS, for sure I’ll try to engage a little of every kink you put here, and here we stand up for FemFemdoms!

Im sorry for any mistake, I’m writing it totally stressed out AND a little drunk

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Bratty!Beomgyu x FemDom!Reader

overstimulation, degradation, pet names, mommy kink, toys (bullet and wand vibrator), a single face slap, hairpulling, no piv sex

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“Sleepless” (aka my fav Dutch Melrose song)

Tired of him nagging your ears off for four hours straight, you put your headphones on, a chill Spotify playlist giving some peace for your overused hearing sense.

At least for fifteen minutes, before your roommate get bored and took them off of you.

Taking one heavy breath with closed eyes, you finally open them again, not fully ready for Beomgyu’s shit talking again.

“…But are you really still virgin?” Asked after straight four minutes of a monologue of “how people over 20 shouldn’t be virgins anymore”.

For fucks sake.

No, you’re not virgin, but what’s the problem if you were? You could be religious, or that could be just your choice. Why is he so bothered by the thought of you having or not sex?

“Not of your business, Choi, now let me sleep”.

“I can’t! I’m now sure that you’re a freaking virgin and you’re just ashamed to admit. How can you sleep knowing that you’re over 20 and still virgin?”

His logic just doesn’t make sense enough for you, so you just fix the hem of your purple dress with a huff. You put him after your bath since your pajamas are on the dryer.

“I know you’re tired, but listen: you never, never, hang out alone or with someone, you’re always occupied ever since I know you, so you can’t possibly had sex before. So, you’re virgin!”

“Yeah yeah, you figured out the biggest secret of my life, now let’s sleep, Beomgyu” your tired voice gave some chills to the boy’s spine, observing you undo the Dutch braid of your hair, your almost everyday hair style. You thought that just agree with him would save you a little mental sanity.

Oh girl, how wrong.

“Ha! You virgin!” he scoffed “Are you waiting for your prince?”

“Guess you want to be this prince, since you’re making it such a big deal” you answered, rolling your eyes.

“Maybe, it would be lovely to make such a damsel cry for my cock” even not looking at him, you could hear the smirk in his voice.

That was the last straw you needed.

Standing up in a hurry, you gave no time for him to make another joke before you slapped him across the face.

He looked at you, too shocked to speak, hand in his red cheek.

Your stinging hand runs to his hair, taking in a fistful of his overgrown locks.

“Listen to me, very very carefully, Beomgyu. Now, you’ll shut your dirty mouth and do exactly what I want, am I clear?”

At first, he was too shocked with the attitude to speak, so, as little reminder of his new position, you tighten the grip in his hair.

“Yes, ma’am!”

Surprised by his sudden politeness into calling you “ma’am”, you hum at his response. You forcefully make him lay on your own bed, leaving him there to make sure the door is locked.

He wanted to ask if you’re that desperate for losing your virginity as a tease, but he already knows better and kept his mouth shut for the first time.

“You’re unsufferable, Choi, I’m worn-out of it. You need to learn your place for now on, so, that’s how its going to work: first, I’m not going to have sex with you, bad dogs like you don’t deserve it, but you feel a little of what I could do with you if I really wanted to. If something gets too much, just say “red”, then I’ll stop, and if you’re feeling good to continue, say “green”. If you don’t say “red”, I’ll stop whenever I feel like it. Ill not tie you up for now, but if you fucking think about touching me, you’ll regret it.”

Dazed, Beomgyu just nods eagerly. Who’s desperate now?

“You’re just a dumb, desperate whore, Beomgyu, ill make it clear for you since you’re too stupid to realize it by yourself.”

He hated the way his cock throbbed in his pants.

“Sit properly” you demand, “and take off your clothes”.

A little troubled, he does what you want, wondering what you going to do.

While he takes his clothes off in no hurry, you went to your wardrobe and take some things from the last drawer. Beomgyu was shocked seeing the wand and the bullet vibrators in your hand.

“You…”

“It’s clean, don’t you worry about it.”

“I would ask if you… When you use it?” for the first time ever, you saw him blushing at his own question.

“You’re always not home, sometimes I need to relax” you answer as if it was nothing. He didn’t answer.

“Why ae you so quiet now, uh?” you tease “Not so cheeky anymore, Gyu?”

The simple nickname made shivers run down his spine. Good.

Is something hard to explain, the sensation of knowing that you’re the one in charge now, also acknowledging that the whole time, you’ll be fully clothed, while he’s all exposed to you. Is something powerful, this kind of dominance.

“Are you okay? Use your words, Beomgyu” is always good to check up on the subbing one, know if they’re mentally prepared to continue the scene, you know it well.

“Yes, ma’am”.

“You know why I am doing it?’’ you asked, walking towards his naked self, sat in the middle of the bed”

Beomgyu didn’t answered, looking away, making you chuckle.

“Soon you’ll know.”

You pretty dress moves with your body while you sit in bed next to him, exposing your tights a little more, drawing his attention towards them.

“Enjoying the view?”

“Very much, actually.”

Here’s the cheeky tone again.

“Lay on your back. I want you to lay your head on top of your hands, arms up.”

This time, he takes a little more time to react to your words, but you let him take his time without pushing too much further, knowing that everything of it is new to him.

He finally obeys, laying on the bed just the way you wanted, looking at the ceiling.

“Not so brave anymore, bitch?”

He huffs, you ignore.

Looking down, you could see his half hard member.

“Is my dumb whore enjoying it? Enjoying being called this dirty things, uh?”

Your fingertips run along his thigh softly and you observe him chilling and his cock twitching. He closed his eyes with a deep breath. You take advantage of it and take the wand vibrator in your hand, turning it on in the lowest setting at the base of his dick.

He let out a strangled, surprised moan, his hands already flying towards you arm for support, but he remembered your threat, putting his hands back to place.

The game was just starting.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“Mo-mommy, please!”

His fucked-out expression made you hum, holding one of his trembling thighs in a heavy grip, your nails digging a little in his skin while the bullet made his way to his tip after his first orgasm.

“Mommy? What is it now, uh?” you chuckle “Didn’t new you like it, Beomgyu… But mommy will make you feel good again and again, wasn’t it what you wanted? Mommy’s attention, slut?”

That was when his sobbing started, already feeling overstimulated from just one orgasm. With your iron grip – that he was surprised that you even had the strength to hold him in place – didn’t let him close his leg, making the sensations stronger. He never stimulated himself after the orgasm, and the feeling hit him hard.

“Color, Beomgyu?”

He hated to admit, but the agonizing sensation was making he feel good in some way, and know that the moment he wasn’t feeling well you will stop, made it even more pleasurable for him.

“Green! Green, mommy, ma-make me cum, pleasepleaseple-ah! Please!” You chuckle at his hurry, caressing his thigh.

“Y’know, I shouldn’t let you, you were so, so bad earlier, pup… maybe I don’t let you cum again at all and just stop here…” Being unfair, you turned on again the wand vibrator in a little higher setting at the base of his dick, not taking off the bullet in his tip, making him squirm, moaning louder that you imagine that he would.

“M'sorry! Sorry, mommy, m’sorry!”

“Are you? Are you really sorry, or you’re just a desperate whore to cum?”

“M’really sorry, I-I swear, m’mmy!”

You could tell that he was using all his self-control to not cum without your permission, and fighting the urge to move his hands from their place he so obediently let them.

“Then you can cum, Choi.” You almost don’t finish your words when he came with a scream, barely nothing coming out, his body having strong goosebumps and spasms.

But you just took away the bullet.

He cried, and you straddled his thighs, not letting him move.

“Just one more and we’re done, can you do it for mommy, puppy?”

You observe the fat tears running down his pink cheeks, smiling to yourself, he was so pretty fucked out like this.

“What’s your color, Gyu? Speak to mommy”.

Taking away the vibrator to let him talk, he takes some deep breaths.

“I… I-I think I can, mommy… Green.”

“That’s a good boy! Let me know if gets too much”.

You put the vibrator almost in the highest setting, again finding its way to his dick.

He sobs and bucks his hips hardly but couldn’t do much since you’re pretty comfortable siting in his thighs. He could feel your soaked cunt through your panties in one of his thighs but couldn’t do anything about it with his hands below his head, trying to obey you. He tried to focus on your pretty hair contouring your face and the strap of your dress slipping off your shoulder, an image that he will never forget.

“I’ll ask again; why am I doing it, Beomgyu?”

“I-I was- humph! I was bad to you, mo-mommy!”

“Right! You were very bad and nosy, Gyu, but is okay, mommy will teach you how to behave properly. What do we say when someone does something good for us, Beomgyu?”

The buzz of the vibrator was inebriating both your senses.

“Thanks, thanks for making me le-learn, mommy, thank you, I’m sorry!”

“What a good boy, already learning! You can come when you’re ready, baby, so good for mommy…”

Not a moment after, Beomgyu came, nothing coming out his slit, just spasming uncontrollably below you, tears streaming nonstop from his closed eyes, sobs and hiccups coming out his beautiful shaped mouth. You turn off the tool immediately and get off his thighs, shushing him.

“There there, baby, you did so good for me, so good for your mommy, I’m proud of you, bae.”

You run your fingers in his damp hair, comforting him after what he would say later as the strongest orgasms he had ever had.

“M’sorry, mommy…”

He says after a while with you calming him down.

“I know baby, is okay, mommy is not mad anymore, you did so well for me.”

You smiled and kissed his forehead.

“Can I eat you out?”

He sounds so sudden and innocently shameless, that you had to laugh.

“Not today, baby, I’m good.”

“But, mommy, please-“ he was ready to whine about it, but you cut him off.

“No, Beomgyu. Want mommy to scold you again?” he pouted and shook his head “So, listen to me. I’m tired, and I can bet you’re exhausted. Maybe another time. Just a minute, babe” you rolled your eyes playfully when he whined again when you get out of the bed to take some wipes to clean him.

You clean his chest, lower belly and, of course, his cock. He hisses, but you were fast, so he didn’t complain a lot.

“I’ll get you some water, okay?”

He nods with a small smile while you walk away, looking you up and down. He loves this dress.

When you came back, he was already fast asleep in your bed with his mouth slightly open, drained out of energy. You chuckle to yourself. Maybe he never learns, but its alright, you’ll always remind him his place.

[jupiter-letters]

Dating J'onn J'onnz would include:

Fem!Reader or GN!Reader TW: None

A/N: For the sake of my sanity and J’onn’s happiness, Martians are alive and well and these headcanons are based more on the young justice show. The reader is already a member of the justice league in this but maybe I’ll do some civilian headcanons later.

You both started out as pretty good friends but you never thought he’d like you romantically due to cultural differences. For him what you looked like didn’t really matter, your personalities meshed so well he wanted you around all the time. 

Despite having an open and honest friendship you kind of tried to bury your feelings from J’onn when you guys would talk telepathically. He did pick up on this though and it bothered him for a while but he didn’t want to pry. 

There’s this lingering tension though, you both like each other but one doesn’t want to overstep and the other is afraid of rejection. Other people can pick up on it too but nobody wants to say anything. There’s this romantic undertone with how you guys talk to each other but again nobody says anything. The other members of the league watching you guys interact is basically like this:

J’onn: “Would you like some refreshments after your journey to the watchtower? I’ve prepared some coffee for you.”  You: Ah, no thank you I appreciate it! Are you ok? I heard your last fight in Metropolis was tough, I was worried about you.  J’onn: And I you, your battle with Grodd caused me some distress but it was well fought. I’m happy you are unharmed.”

Wonder woman, Superman and Shazam standing in the corner like ???🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️🧍???

Things really get shaken up when M’gann makes her debut, she picks up on it as soon as you enter the room thinking you wouldn’t mind(due to your friendship of course). She ends up reaching into that crevice you thought you’d hidden. J’onn is unaware of this for like a second before she just comes out and says it. “Uncle J’onn have you guys started dating yet??” After she says that he’s looking at her like 👁️👄👁️. 

You fall out of your chair and M’gann realizes she messed up. Lucky for her she made a swift exit out of the room. You try not to make eye contact but J’onn is looking directly at you. 

At this point you both couldn’t put it off anymore and talked it out. You tell him your insecurities and he does the same. His fears about the attraction not being mutual due to the whole alien thing. Fortunately for you guys none of that matters since you’re so sickeningly in love. Now we get to the nitty gritty! The dating!

J’onn does everything in his power to learn Earth customs, especially your own culture, the language, the food. He wants to learn about it all to be closer to you. If english isn’t your native language he does a little brain download of it and speaks it with you. He’ll even prepare your favorite dish despite many, many failed attempts. When you make the same effort to learn about Martian culture it really warms his heart. It’s a rocky road but you get the hang of it, his family loves having you over. They’ll shapeshift into you when you come over and give you one big hug. 

You have to awkwardly explain why you’re seeing a new guy every week before J’onn chooses a form he likes. He doesn’t understand why it’d be a problem but he stops for you. It doesn’t matter though since he takes it off when you get home or when you’re among friends. He loves to shapeshifter for you to make you laugh, turning into celebrities or mascots to prank you. You wake up in the morning and open the bathroom door to see Chiitan taking a shower. He’ll even do stupid stuff like long furbys or the fresno nightcrawler. 

Fighting together is a breeze, nobody is crazy enough to go after you in the field. And psychic attacks forget it, you can’t beat a martian when it comes to telepathy. People often underestimate how strong J’onn actually is but they do enter the process of fucking around and finding out. He never doubts your ability to protect yourself either but if the need arises and you get overwhelmed he will step in. 

You understand J’onn’s feelings more than most, despite constantly being linked to each other’s mind. Like Bruce his body language is subtle, there are certain ways his lips twitch or how he rubs his fingers together. You both have a great understanding of each other’s emotions, it’s so wonderful, he never keeps things from you and is very blunt with his opinions. He feels like it’s insulting to you to use flowery language instead of being honest. 

He doesn’t mind PDA, however much you’re comfortable with he’ll do. However he won’t be hanging off of you in public, he will stay within arms reach. He always wants you to know he’s nearby and you’re safe. His love language largely revolves around words of affirmation. J’onn is a great person to vent to since he is a great listener and he’s lived a long life so he’s got some words of wisdom. You need advice? He’s your man and if you don’t he’s a good listener.

You can literally feel how much he loves you, he’ll even show you how he sees you. All colorful and bright like the sun. He’d literally walk through fire for you, his loyalty is unmatched.🗣️🗣️ You always tell him he doesn’t need to but he’ll do it anyway. After the most difficult day of missions and handling Martian and Earth politics, a moment in your arms rejuvenates him. For someone who isn’t super touchy the other thing he loves to do is hold your head in his hands and press your foreheads together. No words are exchanged, you just quietly enjoy each other’s presence. 

Thanks for reading! Lemme know what you think. Please like or reblog if you like my stuff.

[brightlight-dazzlingeyes]

between the lines | chapter 05

rúben dias x original female character [+18]

synopsis: isabella is a sports journalist covering the premier league. she has sworn to never get involved with a football player. that is, until she meets a handsome portuguese defender. warnings: incorrect journalism references; timeline of events are not faithful to real life; i have never been to england; mutual pining; romantic comedy;  minors dni.

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

Chapter 05 - Like a last minute own goal

It’s Tuesday and I’m in a bar in Athens watching the penalty shootout between Panathinaikos and Olympique de Marseille. Sitting next to me there’s a man with an AEK jersey and two wearing the Olympiacos uniform.

Across the street, away from this curious scene, standing tall and shiny, there’s a hotel. The hotel I’ll be staying at for the next 30 hours or so. And so is the entirety of the Manchester City squad.

So for the time being, for the sake of my own sanity, I’ll be sitting here at this charming Greek bar sipping one of the few non-alcoholic beverages on the menu.

Eventually the color of the sky warns me it’s my cue to leave, a bright and vibrant orange. I already spent too much time and too much money on this bar. And I wasn’t even supposed to be in this country.

I’m only in Greece to cover for a colleague that allegedly got sick – internally the talk at the office is that he was caught cheating on his wife and had to bail work for a couple days, and somehow I’m the one being punished.

I already know the odds of running into him. They’re high, okay, they always seem to be pretty high. 

Still, I cross the street. I take my time doing it, too. Look at both sides multiple times. at the front of the hotel I even took a few pics of the previously mentioned beautiful orange sky.

And yet,

“It’s been a while…” My voice is soft, as I’m trying to be polite. I go as far as nodding when I enter the elevator at the exact time as he does. 

Of course the timing would be perfect. If I haven't taken the pictures. Or if I drank less. But I’m starting to believe it wouldn’t have mattered. If not today we were bound to meet again.

“I wonder whose fault is that.” He uses a humorous tone, even raises an eyebrow, smirking, but I can see right through him, he’s not joking. It is my fault. He’s wearing Manchester City’s travel hoodie and joggers, looking so out of place since he’s by himself. I decided against making a joke about that. Maybe another time. Something about asking him if he’s lost from the herd. Or something. Instead, I’m even funnier:

“I miss you too!” I answer with the same tone, maybe a notch higher, trying to actually tell a joke. I consider nudging him with my elbow, to get the bit going, but as soon as I say that the smirk fades off his face and he looks serious at me.

And then his face turns to the elevator door. I watch as he sighs. When our eyes meet again the soft smile is back on his face.

It’s my floor and as I walk out he says:

“Have a good night, Isa.”

I nod. There’s words stuck on my throat and it’s only when the elevator’s door closes again that I manage to say back:

“You too, Rúben.”

A week later, back in Manchester, laying in my own bed, I can’t sleep. I’m still thinking about that encounter, having been thinking about it everyday for the past week. I have to fix this, clear the air. We’re going to meet again and again.

So, against my better judgment, (and to be fair, so long after what I thought I could hold) I text him.

Me: you too

That's good, right? He’ll get it…

Do not text him, girl!!: que?

He texts back immediately. Wasn't expecting that but okay.

Me: hae a good night! have i forgot to say it last time we met

Do not text him, girl!!: isa are you drunk?

I hesitate. Man, that only happened one time! Is it better or worse if I tell him I’m drunk? I mean, I’m kind of sleepy. Maybe I should say yes and go all out ‘I miss kissing you, Rúben’ and shit like that.

No. No, that’s not what I texted him. I only look like I’m drunk texting because he makes me nervous, and the idea is to stop being nervous around him.

Me: what? no! i really just wanted to say have a good night so you know that we’re cool

Rúben: right

Me: we’ll be seeing a lot of each other, and i feel like we didn’t discuss this part the part that you know we’re cool

He takes a while to answer, I’m biting my nails staring directly at the bright white light of the phone. The memory of my brother telling me I’ll be single forever rings in my mind, to be fair he was 14 at the time I had just gotten my first bra. But it is true, and that’s why. I ruin it every time I try.

More minutes pass and he still doesn't answer. My mind goes somewhere else. The actual last conversations we had.

With me saying “I don’t think we can be friends.”, and he saying “Well, that’s not what I’m trying to be.”

“Okay, well, that's worse, Rúben. You get that, right?” I had my hands covering my face as I tried to find the right words. “I just got here, I can't be the reporter that sleeps with the football players.”

“But you…” He held himself back, but I heard it in my mind, ‘but you are’. “Don’t you think is too late for that? You’re really having second thoughts now?!” His hands replaced mine, holding my cheeks. He looked deep into my eyes, like he was trying to read my mind. 

I cried more that day than I’m proud to admit. I’m crying right now, still looking at the phone. I don’t expect us to go back to how we were, but I can’t deal with panicking every week just at the idea of seeing him. I can’t avoid him, I can't be with him. So I just want us to be cool, you know? I don’t know how to write a text saying that, though.

Rúben: right we’re cool

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@91vhs @kathb59

[paraliveimaginesblog]

Can i ask for Allen with a little girl ( the 4 of the parenting prompts) thanks 💗

Allen Sugasano:

It was actually quite funny how the habit started.

Your daughter was a bit of a rough sleeper in the beginning, not able to be in her own room even when it was time to have her start sleeping separately. She would cry and cry and cry, and while you didn’t think it was on purpose, it was frustrating to not know why she was doing it. Was she uncomfortable? Or scared? Sad because she couldn’t hear the sound of her father mumbling in his sleep or instantly feel your comforting touch when she started to wiggle in her bassinet? Whatever the case was, you and Allen had been quickly reaching the end of your ropes.

It was only a joking suggestion put out by Hajun, to bore her with the history of hip hop, but the thought was stuck in Allen’s brain until the very next night when you laid her in the crib again. When she began crying you had sat up, rubbing your eyes and going to swing your legs over the side of the bed when you felt Allen’s hand on your arm.

“I’ll do it,” He was still half-asleep but his statement was confident, pulling you back into the warmth of your sheets. Allen laid beside you a few more moments until you smacked at his arm, pointing out your daughter was impatiently waiting for his arrival before he actually rolled out of the bed.

When he held her in his arms and began to talk she went silent, big eyes looking up at him with what he said was unbridled curiosity. You think it was just wishful thinking on your hip-hop addicted husband but you weren’t going to squash his dreams, especially when after just a few minutes of talking she seemed to get lulled into an impenetrable sleep that had her out like a light the entire rest of the night. You tested the theory the following night by having Allen be the one to put her down, listening ot him talk and talk until he finally settled her in her crib.

Not a peep.

He was happy that someone was willing to listen to him still after all these years, a statement you took offense to as you were subjected to quite a bit of history and random facts whenever something so much as reminded him of his favorite music. You still let him ramble, mostly, but sometimes you did have to shush him for the sake of your sanity; it was your daughters turn to listen patiently as her father ranted and raved.

“If you never put her down you’ll spoil her, Allen.”

“Huh? Oh…” Allen hadn’t even realized he was carrying her, the tirade almost a natural thing to go on the second she asked to be picked up; even now that she was older she liked the sound of her fathers voice to be the last thing she heard before bed, but it soon carried on into daily life. Now that she was old enough to listen and somewhat understand, she’d ask him questions, knowing it meant he would hold her longer and that she wouldn’t have to go to bed as long as she kept her eyes open.

“Yeah, it’s already half an hour past her bedtime. She’s gonna be cranky as hell when we have to wake her up tomorrow.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Girl, please,” You kissed your daughter’s forehead even as she pouted at you foiling her plans, “Goodnight, my little songbird. Allen, if you’re not in our room in ten minutes—” You made a movement that your daughter didn’t quite understand, motioning up and down to imply you’ll sew his mouth shut so he can never speak about hip hop (or sing) again.

“Time for bed,” Allen said quite sternly, even when she gave him her biggest, teariest eyes, “I’ll tell you more tomorrow.”

“Okay papa.” Her head rested on his shoulder as she looked up at him with tired eyes, “Talk tomorrow…”

Allen still hummed a little tune for her, rocking her in his arms until her eyes slid shut and he could tuck her into bed without protest.

[cellythefloshie]

– ao3 – ask & i’ll answer –  for recs check out my bookshelf! –  join my taglist! – 

So this, this snuck up on me a lot faster than I had anticipated. 500 of you? Following me? Crazy. It seems I have blinked and it happened so I'm going to be doing something a little different for the celebration this time - because I swear I just posted the last of my 300 follower appreciation.

Inspired by @senditcolton 's Hozier prompt list (she did such an amazing job with it and her blurbs so go check them out), I have made a prompt list of my favorite songs from a variety of artists. There are 10 songs, which means only 10 blurbs (which will probably be more along the lines of tiny fics compared to the blurbs I did for the 300-follower celebration). Headlining are my favorite lyrics, here is the Spotify playlist with all of the songs for you to enjoy.

Submit your claim for a specific lyric paired with a player (make sure to read my rules regarding who I write for before you submit). It is on. first come first serve basis for the sake of my own sanity because I know if I do more than 10 I'll still be writing them when I hit my next milestone. The list will be updated as the requests are received. *Prior to posting I shared my prompt list with some friends who wanted to assure Vince Dunn got his prompt. Therefore he will not be eligible for any prompt except for the one that has already been decided for him: Prompt 3, Can't Fight the Moonlight.

;; 500 Follower Celebration

The Night We Met - Nico Hischier I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you.

Delicate - Freddie Andersen Phone lights up my nightstand in the black, come here; you can meet me in the back.

Can't Fight the Moonlight - Vince Dunn If you think that you won't fall, well just wait until the sun goes down.

Tainted Love - Ross ColtonI've got to get away from the pain you drive into the heart of me.

So Good - Adam Lowry Do I think about the one that got away? I know his name, I think about him every day.

Boyfriend - Mat Barzal What are the chances? Everyone's dancing, and he's not with you.

I Wanna Be Yours - Brandon HagelSecrets I have held in my heart are harder to hide than I thought.

I Ain't Worried - Anthony Beauvillier I don't know what you've been told, but time is running out, no need to take it slow.

Everybody Talks - Gabe Landeskog It started with a whisper, and that was when I kissed her.

Drops of Jupiter - Dallas Star of My Choice 👀 Jake Oettinger Was it everything you wanted to find, and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

And as always I'm going to wrap up this appreciation to shout out all of the lovely writers and readers who are such an important part of my little community! Every single one of them is talented and is just the sweetest of people so if you for some reason do not follow them already please do so.

@hagelpoint-3821 @starshine-hockey-girl @callsign-denmark @hischierdevils @wyattjohnston @laurenairay @luvmmarner @swissboyhisch @behoright @claireelle18 @midnightsnyx @snugglyducklingbrewhouse @manrocket-mo @txstars @senditcolton @equallyshaw @mp0625 @comphy-and-cozy @hoesforthecanes @puckmaidens @hockeyboysimagines @stlbluesbrat21 @iamveryborrrreddd

And I know I probably missed A LOT of people, so please be sure to check out @cellysbookshelf because I do my best to reblog all of the wonderful fics I read from this community that I couldn't be happier to be a part of.

[homemade-ghosts]

Your Top 5 dasey moments :)))

First off, I’m really sorry if this ask is old, I haven’t been active on here in months. Secondly, how dare you. Top 5 Dasey moments per season I could do, maybe even top 5 episodes – but top 5 moments of the whole series? That is just cruel and unusual punishment…but since you asked with smiley faces, I’ll do my best. Also, it’s hard enough to pick moments without having to rank them, so I’m just going to list them in the order they happen in the series and, for the sake of my sanity, the movie doesn’t count here (I realize that’s kind of a cop out, but I feel like it’s somewhat fair since I made a whole post relating to Vacation with Derek way back when). 

Okay, now that I’m done being dramatic, on with the list!

“I like the sweaty look, chick’s dig it.” (1.04)

This is a small, “blink and you’ll miss it”-type flashback in an episode I don’t particularly like (it goes too hard on reinforcing binary gender roles — but hey, it was the mid-2000s and so did 99% of the other shows on TV at the time). Let me set the scene for you: Derek walks in as Casey is finishing her laundry, he’s visibly sweaty (having just finished playing basketball outside). He takes a towel, wipes his face and then purposefully shoves it in Casey’s face. When she’s (understandably) grossed out by this, Derek arches his shoulders toward Casey, as if he’s leaning in, to tell her, “I like the sweaty look, chick’s dig it.” She disagrees. Which is why, when Emily knocks on the door a second later, Derek opens it, puts on his best flirty smile and Emily, being Emily, is immediately lovestruck. Point proven. The real kicker here, at least for me, is the fact that not only does Derek give Casey an even more flirty smirk than he gave Emily, the girl he was actively trying to flirt with, immediately after proving his point,* but then he pinches Casey’s cheek. Like, takes the hand he’d just raked through his hair, reaches out and pinches her cheek as he leans towards her (again) and says her name in an almost babyish voice, before leaving.

* (aforementioned flirty smirk, for reference lol)

The point of this scene, I’m sure, was just to establish that Casey thinks Derek is gross and he only touched her face because he knew she’d be disgusted by the fact that his hand was all sweaty. What I saw, however, was Derek noticing that Casey wasn’t looking at him while we was doing his best “See? She thinks I’m hot. Change your mind yet?” smirk in her direction. So he gets in her face and touches her cheek, this way she has no choice but to pay attention to him. Their relationship is built on competition, after all and, for Derek, having Casey know that he’s won is more important than the actual act of winning itself. He can make as many jokes as he wants about how Casey ignoring him or not talking to him would be a dream come true, but in reality, he craves her attention and he’ll always go out of his way to get it. Plus, it’s another example of Derek “I don’t do PDA” Venturi making an effort to touch Casey when he doesn’t have to or need to. Typically, that means an arm over Casey’s shoulder or a hand on her back, this time he went for something a little less conventional.

    2. “What’s more interesting is why Amy’s dating you…” (3.23)

Oh, how I love this episode, let me count the ways (not really though, I could write a whole post on this ep alone, but this one is going to be long enough as it is). Casey’s in her room, practicing her routine for the next round of cheerleading tryouts, when she spins around to see Derek…standing in her doorway, just watching her dance. This is obviously intended to be a funny jump scare moment, nothing more — but all I could think was: how long had he been watching her? And isn’t it interesting how he went out of his way to laugh at her routine during the last round of tryouts (even though her routine was obviously good) when he was in a room full of other people, but now that no one else is around he’s content with just watching her dance? No smart remarks, no quips about how ridiculous she looks. They’re alone now, and for a moment, he lets the facade drop. He allows himself to be impressed, to notice how talented Casey is. A kind of silent admiration. 

What I really love though, is what comes next. Casey reminds him that, if he doesn’t want her to practice, he should take it up with his girlfriend. When he feigns confusion, Casey brings up Amy, the cheer captain who has it out for Casey because she thinks Casey “stole” Max from her and who also happens to be currently dating Derek. First, Casey suggests that Derek’s only dating Amy to annoy her. Interesting how Casey’s first thought when Derek gets a new girlfriend is that it must have something to do with her — they’re very invested in each other’s dating lives (for some reason…) and, in all fairness, Derek does have a history of dating girls solely because he knew it would piss Casey off (Emily, circa season 1). Then, after Derek tries to convince Casey that his reason for dating Amy has nothing to do with her (he does the exact opposite by saying that he’s going out with her because “cheerleader” is on his “list” of types of girls he wants to date…then, half a second later, he emphasizes the fact that Casey’s a cheerleader, too) Casey claims Amy is only dating him to “torment” her. And, I’m sorry, but why exactly is it torture to see Amy, someone the show goes out of its way to tell us is actually very similar to Casey, dating Derek? I mean, sure, Derek tells her a few embarrassing stories about Casey, but none of them are that bad and Amy never once comes over to the house — so really, all Casey has to deal with is seeing Amy and Derek together at school. Why would it bother Casey so much? Unless, of course, it was another reminder that Derek could date someone like her, but he could never date her.

     3. “So guess what? Things are about to get ugly.” “Bring it.” (4.04)

This is probably my favorite episode of the series and this moment, in particular, is a fun callback/parallel to the pilot. In the first episode, George and Nora force Casey and Derek to stay in the basement until they can decide, between the two of them, who should get the basement as their new bedroom. Immediately after their respective families leave the basement, Casey and Derek move from opposite sides of the room to circle one another. It’s supposed to give off a kind of “enemies preparing for battle” “I’m not backing down, I’ll get what I want” kind of vibe, but they don’t break eye contact and there’s tension where there should be actual dislike/hatred. In “March Break” Casey and Derek have not been forced into the same space. This time, they chose to be at home, alone, with each other while Nora, George and the kids go to Quebec (at least I think it was Quebec?) and when they do that same “circling each other” move, this time, they’re both smiling and leaning in as they move around one another. Casey tries her best to squint her eyes and appear tough, but you can see she’s smiling, Derek, meanwhile, doesn’t even try to hide his smirk. They can feign hatred for as long as they want, but ultimately they both know this is fun. Their relationship is a game. Who’s going to win and do they even care as long as they’re competing against each other?

 Also, I just love the way they lean in because it makes me feel like I’m in the middle of an enemies-to-lovers romcom, sitting there with my popcorn like, “when are they going to kiss already??”

     4. “Don’t cry on the upholstery.” (4.16)

I’ve heard people say that Truman is like the Derek that Casey can actually have and I see where they’re coming from — if Derek had no charisma, heart or charm. I hated him long before this episode, but this is his point of no return: where he kisses Casey’s cousin, in front of everyone, at a party he knows Casey is at. When Casey gets a front row seat to the kiss and asks Derek if they can go home, he doesn’t question it. He puts his hands on her shoulders and steers her away from the crowd to make sure that she’s okay. The second he finds out why she’s crying, he’s rightfully pissed and tells Truman, “no one should treat Casey that way” and that Truman should apologize to her and then never speak to her again. All of these are pretty shining moments for Derek, but my favorite one is right before they leave the party. Derek tells Vicky he’ll drop her off before he takes Casey home and then, very earnestly, he looks at Casey and jokes, “don’t cry on the upholstery.” He’s not making fun of her or trying to minimize what she’s going through, he could see how hurt she was and he just wanted her to smile, to soften the blow, if only for a minute. And Casey does, she smiles, genuinely, for the first time since they got to that stupid party. Derek returns her smile with one of his own. Just before the scene ends, as the 3 of them turn to leave the party, in another small gesture of comfort, you can see Derek with his hand gingerly on Casey’s back.

      5. I knew it was coming, you knew it was coming: “Same difference.” “Yeah, you’re right.” (4.18)

Is it really a list of “top 5 Dasey moments” if it doesn’t include the last scene (excluding the movie)? I don’t think so. I’m not sure there’s much I can say about it that hasn’t already been said, since this is the moment that people usually point to when they ask, “why do these two have so much chemistry??” even if they’ve never seen the show. There are two things I want to note before I get into the part of this scene with those iconic lines, however. 1. Derek is looking at the university catalog, picking out courses and joking about how he and Casey could live in the same dorm next year, which means, somewhere between finding out he and Casey were going to the same university and this scene, Derek had decided to call off his gap year in Europe and go straight to university with Casey. I just think that’s...interesting. 2. It’s hilarious that the show made such an effort to shoehorn poorly-written love interests for both of them (Emily for Derek, Truman for Casey) to go to prom with at the last minute (probably, in part, so they didn’t go to prom together for the second time) only to completely drop them in this final scene. Derek and Casey both talk to each other about the kinds of people they’re going to date when they get to university, making it clear that they both broke up with their significant others not long after graduation.

Okay, now onto That™ moment. I think everyone understands what the writers’ intention behind this scene was: for Casey and Derek to finally see each other as family, which is exactly why it’s so funny that, with the help of some great acting from Michael and Ashley, it comes off as the exact opposite of that. Derek was all smilies, joking about the different ways he and Casey were going to spend time together: saying he was just going to take all the same classes as her so he could steal her notes, that they were going to be best friends so she could introduce him to her sorority sisters — but the fun was over as soon as Casey says, “you’re the most annoying brother.” 

Of course Derek was kidding about the specifics, but there was also some part of him that maybe liked being able to imagine a life outside of this house, where they could spend time together without this label hanging over their heads. Tell people they were old friends from the same town and just…see what happens — but Casey, level-headed as ever, brought Derek back down to reality. Derek’s smile fades, replaced by something uncharacteristically serious when he corrects with, “step brother.” putting a heavy emphasis on that first syllable. When the camera pans back to Casey, she hesitates and her mouth screws up for just a second, trying to think of the right words before she settles on, “same difference.” Derek concedes, “Yeah, you’re right.” but it’s the way he says it, low and slow with a kind of sadness in his eyes. We see Casey’s reaction and she’s smiling, but there’s more to it. Her smile is tight and her eyes are kind of glassy, like she might cry. They look at each other for way too long, there’s an understanding there. It’s bittersweet. They know they’re closer than they’ve ever been and as close as they’ll ever get to be.

(Thank you for sending this ask and giving me a chance to be incredibly overdramatic about a sitcom ship from the mid-2000s, It was fun!)

[verdantglow]

Alright y’all, we’ve gotta have a real talk.

I’ve realized a couple things in the last few days.

1. Far more of my followers are minors than I had realized.

2. The Prosaic Wonders SmallEtho fic I’m writing is going to be rated Explicit. There are just too many adult themes that I want to explore in this fic that I cannot scrub it to make a Teen or even Mature rating.

Now, point 1 isn’t, in & of itself, a problem. I don’t mind minors following me, as I don’t really post much that I think would be a problem here. So long as y’all keep in mind that I have been an adult longer than some of you have been alive, & respect my boundaries related to that fact, we should be fine.

However. For my own comfort & safety, I do not feel okay posting about a fic that’s going to be explicit on a blog with so many minors following me. & while the AU itself isn’t inherently explicit, for the sake of keeping things neatly organized & also maintaining my own sanity, I don’t think I can post about the AU at all here anymore.

So, going forward, I will not be posting Prosaic Wonders AU content on this blog.

I have made a different, separate blog where all that will be taking place. I’m not like hiding the blog, but I’m not going to just post the url here. If you are an adult & interested, feel free to send me a dm & I’ll send you the url.

If you are a minor, I have some ground rules about this whole situation that I ask you respect:

1. Do not follow, like, reblog, or interact with my nsfw blog in any way.

2. Do not interact with the explicit fic on AO3.

3. Do not try to talk to me about the explicit fic or the AU on this blog, via comments, tags, asks, or DMs.

4. Just like. Don’t in any way let me know that you are aware of this fic’s/AU’s existence.

I’m not an idiot. I remember what it’s like to be a teenager, even if that was dizzyingly long time ago. While I’d rather you just not read this fic or find my adult content blog, I know that I cannot actually stop you from doing what you’re going to do because I am not there in person to physically wrench the keyboard from your hands or throw your phone out a window the second you click on something you shouldn’t.

But I can hold these boundaries firm. So if I see you breaking any of those ground rules, I will have to block you. I don’t say this to be mean; I say this because I would be extremely uncomfortable & would feel very unsafe if you did these things, & I have to maintain distance from anyone who breaks my boundaries.

If you are a minor & you were excited about this fic/au, I am really sorry about this confusion/miscommunication.

I hadn’t realized when I started posting about it that this fic was going to come into being, much less that I would feel compelled to make it my first nsfw fic. & even once I realized I wanted those sorts of scenes in it, I still was thinking I could just make them like. Bonus scenes in a separate fic or something, so I could give the longfic a lower rating. But yesterday, I was working on the outline & realized there is no way I can do that without also throwing out one of the big conflicts of the piece & I am not going to make that compromise for the first thing I’ve actually felt like writing & committing to in forever.

I’m sorry if this is disappointing, but thank you, genuinely, for your understanding.

- Verdant Glow

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 212

Whew. Last week was insane.... I’ll create a separate post for that, probably tomorrow. Too many people to thank this week!

@baelpenrose, obviously, not just for beta reading, but for helping me through the overwhelming amounts of stress I’ve been dealing with recently - up to and including being willing to submit my own chapter to my blog so I can try to post it from mobile while I was driving for 13 hours last Tuesday.

Guess what? You can’t post submissions from mobile. -_-  But that mfer certainly tried.

@generalperfectionbread, @peterpanpeanutbutter, @necromancer04, @et103, and @janeshadow for always jumping on each chapter. @lwgph for reblogging quite literally all of the chapters. All of them. @gam3rgur1, who catches up whenever time permits.

And finally, new follower who I know only by slight reputation but cannot wait to hear their thoughts, C.

Alistair started drafting the brief to the Ark population while everyone else started debating on who would be our primary voice when speaking with Odvub.  I had immediately bowed out when it was decided we would ask them to petition on our behalf - not only for the sake of Conor’s ongoing sanity, but also because I was admittedly enamoured with Odvub’s overwhelming presence.  Names were thrown out and argued over for nearly half an hour before I cleared my throat.

“My vote is for Grey.” I was proud of how firm and unmoving my tone was.

Xiomara was more curious than skeptical when she responded. “Why Grey, specifically?”

Completely ignoring the fact that most people in the meeting couldn’t see me, I started counting off on my fingers. “When Odvub was shown to the Council for the first time, Grey was curious.  Everyone else was awestruck, afraid, anxious, or some combination of the three. Grey wasn’t. They showed the exact same amount of curiosity that they show toward a new plant hybrid or an interesting problem.”

“Both of which we trust their judgment on, without question,” Huynh agreed with me. “It makes sense. I second the idea.”

“I am concerned about their legal knowledge,” Xio sighed. “I’m not advocating for myself, believe me. But Eino might be a better choice.”

Pranav scoffed. “No offense intended, Eino, but you are rather known for your passive neutrality. We need someone who will argue if we are initially told no.”

“No offense taken,” Eino’s voice assured. “I selected my preferred successor for that exact reason. Listening and patience are all well and good with a decade to make decisions, but urgency is not my strong suit.”

“Are you suggesting Professor Farro negotiate?” Grey asked, confused.

Several voices - including Arthur’s - barked in disagreement. “Not happening,” Arthur stated flatly. “We want to make a good impression, and despite what you all think, I’m more likely to piss off the Galactic AI by making a Lysol joke.”

Laughter broke the tension briefly before I picked up the reins again. “So, Eino declines, two votes for Grey so far.  I suggest we make this a unanimous decision - we’re talking about the literal future of our species here.  None of us wants to be the one who said nay, no matter which way this goes.”

Murmurs agreed with me. “What about Administrator Costa?” Pranav suggested. “Miss Harper and Professor Farro handled negotiations with the S’crirs, so there is precedent on having one of our mentees take the reins here.”

Almost as though it was rehearsed, Antoine bowed out. “I am disinclined to argue.”

Tyche snorted before mouthing at me. “Liar.”

After a few more minutes of suggestions and people bowing out, Grey called the vote themselves. “I think we have narrowed our pool of candidates adequately, and I am amenable to the appointment if that is what the Council determines. Are there any direct objections?”

Very succinct, I thought approvingly. Quit waiting for agreement and straight out ask for the nays.

After a very precise forty-five second pause, Xiomara spoke. “No objections spoken. Grey, you’re our voice and may gods above and below be with you.”

“Should they exist, they have much more to answer for than my success or failure in this endeavor,” Grey replied wryly. “We should adjourn while Pranav sets up the connection.  Xiomara, if you could send me the legal precedents that you have on hand regarding our rights and the case law that Her Majesty sent over, it would be appreciated.”

I left the audio open during the recess, but muted the end in my office so that we could speak freely. “How do we feel about that?” I asked, glancing around.

Hannah tilted her head side to side. “I think Grey is a good choice, but I’m surprised that Evania wasn’t suggested as well.”

Parvati almost stifled a grin successfully, but Tyche had no such compunctions. “Evan has phenomenal judgement of safety and an exhaustive comprehension of rules and laws.  She is also incredibly bound by the chain of command, so the risk that she would see Odvub as in a position of authority is too high.”

I nodded, along with Parvati. Alistair added “She does return books in a very timely manner, which I believe speaks highly of her respect for others - however, I also think it affirms her adherence to regulation.”

Quietly, I moved to assist Alistair in the short-term release to the Ark. After some careful debate, we reworded a few things to make sure the population was informed but not in a state of panic and added a disclaimer to reach out to your mental health partner or partners during this time.

We were very careful to not even remotely word that as a suggestion.

By the time the release was approved and being sent, Pranav alerted us that the connection with Odvub was on standby. “I would like to advise that the connection cannot be limited to audio only, as a significant portion of their language is via gesture.  My team will, however, be running translation to audio only as close to parallel as we can get it for those who believe they will be overwhelmed.”

Voice still muted from my office, I gave everyone a stern look. “If you wish to view the full communication, please feel free to do so from your personal datapad. I will have the local connection set to translation audio only.”

Tyche and Alistair nodded but didn’t move. Hannah and Parvati, however, transitioned closer to my desk so they would not be in our line of sight - understandable, seeing as they had not seen Odvub the first time.  It did not go amiss that Tyche flicked open her own datapad before glancing at them both, a pretty obvious sign that she was monitoring vitals.

“Ready,” Grey confirmed after everyone else had given their status. Antoine had moved to another location for audio only and medical monitoring on his mentor.

Even through the translation channel, the chiming symphony could be heard.  It made me glad that I had outright refused to handle this interaction, along with validating my decision to record the translation for later review.

“Greetings, Terran Council.” Thankfully, the translation software had given Odvub a neutral alto with flat affectation. “How may we assist you?”

My databand vibrated, and I twitched it open to find a message from Arthur. “They were not kidding about the hive minds, huh?”

Grey responded, sparing me from my need to respond to the clearly rhetorical question. “Greetings, Odvub. We have been advised that the Eko-mari fleet has petitioned to provide quarantine for our new colony world, and have reason to believe the request will be granted. However, we also believe it will be detrimental to our species in both short and long term.  As such, we request that you file petition on our behalf with the Galactic Council.”

Another message from Arthur. “Not a punch pulled. I approve.”

“This is a legitimate concern,” Odvub immediately replied, the artificial voice taking on a choral quality as it split momentarily. “Please advise your logic, so that we can make a sound decision.”

That was interesting… Odvub literally was the Galactic Database. In theory, they already had all this information.

Grey, however, was nonplussed. “We have already experienced the Eko-mari view of non-hive species: they view us as primitive, and more so for those species who have biological or psychological gender.  They grudgingly admit our sentience, but on a scale of ‘just barely’.  Additionally, while the information quarantine is a standard part of species relocation, we have a substantial amount of evidence of overreach on their part.”

We did?

Odvub hesitated when Grey stopped speaking. “Please elaborate on your evidence of overreach.”

“Ordinarily, I would provide files,” Grey admitted. “And if you would like, I still can after I explain. Regardless, not only myself, but my peer Pranav Raganathan and Miys has experienced multiple instances in which data that we earned through rigorous research and testing has gone missing.  None of our computer experts can locate the data in the Ark computers. Most importantly, Miys cannot locate it either.”

Tyche slammed the voice mute from our side as I surged to my feet. “They WHAT???!”

“We have had to reconstruct our research twice, once from zero, and once from memory and passive storage, just in the time since we joined with their fleet,” Grey continued, clearly unable to hear my roaring objection. “Since the second incident, we keep any new data on passive storage only.”

I stomped, hands fisted, growling at this new information. My databand vibrated, and I shook my wrist ferociously to open it, fully intending to dismiss. Rather than being from Arthur, it was from Pranav. “We only recently determined with the support of Miys that this was due to Eko-mari influence, which is why it has not been brought to the attention of the Council. Prior to Gamma shift yesterday, it was believed to be system error or human error.”

The feeling of being out of the loop subsided, but the anger at the overstep from the Eko-mari remained.

“Yes, we are aware. We have been attempting to interfere with the direct loss of earned data to the best of our abilities,” Odvub confirmed. “Miys alerted us and have been instrumental in ensuring we are able to facilitate your research to the best of our functions.”

“Oh.” Grey paused, clear that this was new information.  Good to know I wasn’t the only one who was entirely out of the loop. “That greatly lowers the need for explanation.” I could see in my mind how they would straighten their spine when they regained steady ground. “We have come to the determination that, in addition to loss of hard earned knowledge, we would be prevented from any gains regarding stellar observations from Von if the Eko-mari fleet were entrenched as quarantine patrol.”

“This would contravene the Terran taboo against censorship,” Odvub stated unequivocally. “There is an established right among refugee species to maintain social taboos. This is a valid concern.”

“On those grounds - violation of taboo on multiple levels - will you agree to be our petitioner to the Galactic Council?”

I didn’t need to see my peers to know that we all held a collective breath.

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[tdcloud]

Happy New Year, everyone! 

2024 is here and I, for one, am dead set on making this a good year. After the slog of 2023, I think we can all agree that we’re overdue for even an ounce of a break—or just some levity given 2023 forced me to take a break for the sake of my sanity. A lot has happened. A lot I wanted to have happen just… didn’t. Let’s talk a bit about it while I’ve got a moment in between festivities and go over the past year and what to look forward to in the next.

2023 is going down in my ledger as the Year of Burnout. As depressing as that sounds, as reductive as it makes it all be, it really is what lives strongest in my mind when I think about the past 365 days. As we all know, I’m very hard on myself. It’s why this year became Burnout Year. Every success I accomplish fades in my mind as I consider it against this… failure, I suppose, isn’t the proper word for it. People will get mad at me if I call “having burnout” a “failure”. But in my brain, that’s what it is. I had goals and I failed to reach them because my brain refused to keep to the abusive pace I’ve kept for almost a decade. 

It’s going to take a lot of effort in 2024 to rewrite this reading of the situation. To some extent, I’m sure I’m going to be working at rewiring this mentality for quite awhile longer besides. But I have gotten things done. There have been successes, just not the sort I wrote in my schedule book at the start of 2023. I published once this year, not twice. I completed only a couple novellas, not the five I had wanted. There were multiple novel rewrites I wanted done this year. Only a few got done. Some, as it turned out, may require another rewrite entirely—my brain wasn’t working well this year, and what I managed to force out wasn’t good enough to fix what needed to be fixed.

Let’s take a minute to translate the above paragraph from its negative, downplayed bend into something most people would read it as instead: I published Ossuary, a novella so well received it saw my follower count skyrocket alongside my sales, making it one of the strongest breakaway successes of my career. I managed to write to completion three new novellas on Patreon, thus giving me enough of a editable backlog that I won’t need to write any new content for publication for at least a year or more—I’ll be able to take a very, very much needed break thanks to that, all without the pressure to create new work to publish. At long, long, long last, I finally finished the first draft of Hiraeth, the final novel in my very first series and a book I’ve been struggling to complete for about five years now. I rewrote half of Aubade, another old ass novel I’ve wanted to rework for years now. It’ll need a lot more work, but it’s now in a state that can be worked off of, not the mess I’d originally made of it back in 2016.

Even typing all of that, I’m at war with myself. It’s just… really hard to justify to myself what “success” versus “failure” is. Most people wouldn’t have been able to do even one of these things. Most writers would be lucky to have written one novella in a year, let alone the several I managed on top of the novel rewrites. I always say my resolution for each new year that passes is to feel pride in my accomplishments for once. I still haven’t figured out how to do that. Maybe this year will be the year for it. I don’t know. All I can do is try, and writing it all out helps, even if only a little.

I’m hopeful for other things for 2024, though. Things beyond my productivity and all the various things I want to produce or publish. 2023 has been… one of the hardest years of my life, to be honest. I don’t talk a ton about my personal life, but it’s been—difficult. This year, especially the last couple of months, hasn’t been easy. The political and world events aside, a lot of my friends have struggled, my family has struggled, and work has challenged me in ways that made it so difficult to come home and even think of writing that all I could do was lay down, put on a youtube video, and vegetate until the noise in my brain went silent long enough to let me sleep. 

The stress surrounding recognizing my burnout and admitting to it publicly nearly ate me alive. Stripping my Patreon of rewards related to consistent output… There were several times this year where I stared up at the dark ceiling above my bed and wondered if I really should continue writing. They say never trust anything you think about your life after nine pm. The number of times I had to remind myself of that… It was just a lot. 

But I’m hopeful. Against everything else, in spite of everything else, I’m hopeful for 2024. I’ve gone grayer than ever before, but the work I put in to reach even keel has resulted in a much more solid foundation for this new year. I no longer need to stress every month to meet my quota. The friends I worried so much about are safe, far closer than before, and thriving. My family has come together in ways we just… never did previously, and that’s something remarkable, and while work is still something I do to pay the bills, it’s coming together to actually offer me the sort of compensation that will help me achieve goals I could only dream of.

This is all very personal and lowkey sad, but it does feel good to get it out. I want to thank you all for reading these blog posts, commenting when you’re able, and just offering up kindness and attention to the efforts I’ve put in over the year. As I’ve said before, I’ve never been good at speaking to a dark auditorium and trusting that someone was listening even through the silence. The support I’ve been given means the world, and every kind word that’s been left in a comment, a review, a QRT, a reply, or just something said to me in person at a convention has gone so far in buoying my spirits when they were at their lowest. 

So, here’s to 2024. Here’s to taking it slow, taking it easy, and above all else, being kind to ourselves as we do what we can and nothing more than that. I hope you all find the space to give yourself grace in ways I’m still learning how to do, and that you’re excited for what’s yet to come—because I do have plans, just not with hard deadlines for once. 

As always, until next time.

T.D. Cloud

[layton-secretsanta]

Now that everyone’s on board and has their names I’d just like to give a few reminders!

Don’t tell the person you are making a gift for- it should be a surprise! On December 22nd post your gift and tag me and the person it’s for- and I’ll reblog it here. Please do not post before then- if you aren’t available that day you can schedule your post or you can submit to me and I can post your gift for you! (Don’t stress about time zones- just whenever you want on that date)

So on the 22nd there should be 70(!) new pieces of art/fic that we can all enjoy!! You will be able to scroll through this blog to see what everyone has made! (Need inspo? Feel free to scroll through and look at examples of what people made last year)

I know I said I’d do checkins- but I think for sanity’s sake I may only organize checkins with the folks who didn’t participate last year (I had no major issues with all of you from last year so I’m putting my trust in you 👀) and then that cuts down on who I need to talk to.

(A check in is just me seeing how you’re doing, making sure you have an idea of what you’re making and that you’ll be finished on time. It’s nothing to worry about! It’s also a great chance to run ideas by another person- but also feel free to message me whenever lol, I love hearing your ideas! )

If you run into any problems or have any questions please reach out! I will do my best to help you in anyway I can. Wishing you all the best- and I’ll update once I have more to share!!

Thank you all for your patience- I know it’s been slightly more chaotic this year but I think it will be good 🥺🥺❤️

[puyoginge]

What's been going on with me.

3 years later I’ve decided to resurrect my Tumblr because it is my sanctuary and the social media ever. I disbanded twitter because it makes me angry all the time and for the sake of preserving my dwindling adult sanity. lol.

You may remember me from my few posts under the username yaboinate28. very 2018 lol. I posted a lot of trans / general mental health relatable stuff to manage my struggle with gender dysphoria and hopefully connect with others who felt the same as me. If you want to get a taste of what's been going on since then then please do read on below!! (TW mental health stuff)

WHY I LEFT

Some time in 2020 I purged all my trans posts, removing all my incentive to return to this new decade apocalypse of a site. I guess was feeling really insecure about the discordance between my Tumblr open-transness (??) and my irl extreme stealth thang. I was chronically worried about people from my real life finding my account basically. 

Much of my stuff was very Tumblr cringe and probably stuff you’ve seen before but there were a couple of self help posts that were actually insanely good resources for coping with gender dysphoria (particularly in the early stages of social transition) which I seriously regret deleting. I remember a lot of my memes “blowing up” which made me feel really special and like I could contribute something to the world. As a young teenager struggling with self harm and severe depression as well as navigating my life within a home that outright rejected my trans identity, my Tumblr was my lifeline, the people I met made me feel hopeful for the future, and seeing people reblog with “I needed to hear this” or “thanks so much for posting” meant everything to me.

But its important for me to address that I’m not the person I was back then, !!and whilst I'll be attempting to find and repost some of those self help resources!!, I probably won’t be posting about my trans experience much anymore other than within this entry. But please please reach out if you need someone who’s been through it to talk to. I’d love to support you however i can!! I’m only a message away. 

LIFE STUFF

Since 2019 my attitude on life has changed a lot and whilst coping with my mental health issues are still a daily hurdle, I’ve found myself a groove in which to sit and ride the wave. Essentially I’m managing and I’m happy and able to maintain a positive outlook on life, which is good. Additionally, with time my family have softened to my trans identity. Its not perfect, but I’m not at risk. I love my family and I don’t blame them for their actions, I’m just taking it slow. 

Passed my GCSES with flying colours, passed my A-levels with regular colours, and I'm going to uni. Life has continued and its good. And whilst I would rather eat my own shit than go back and relive the days when my mum had to force me me out the door to get me to go to school, I made it through every last day. That's fucking badass, and tbh I'm pretty resilient now because of it lol.

I guess my point is (crass warning) see the joy in what you have. Take life day by day. Don’t let yourself take the easy route, because then you’ll learn how fucking strong you are. And you are stronger than you think even if all your cards are stacked against you.

TRANSITION STUFF

Since the last time we spoke I’ve legally transitioned, and am (at the time of writing) dealing with the initial admin of medical transition. I’ve been speaking regularly with a gender specialist therapist for 2 years. more recently I’ve been exploring my gender expression with my new found freedom. AND I’m in a relationship with someone who is beautiful and kind and couldn’t be more supportive of me (I adore them). And.... I’m still as stealth as ever. Just as resistant to say “yAYYyy i’m trAns!!!” as I’ve always been. I fucking love it. Some things never change lol. As I said family are being dragged by the tail along with me and have warmed to the whole thing. Support is not the word, but acceptance is pretty apt. They both realise it’s always been “me” at this point and that's enough for the time being.

WHO I AM NOW

I’m now an adult (wtf so surreal????) I have allowed my passion for retro gaming to flourish, recently got super fucking into rhythm games, developed a healthy collection of games and consoles which I may post about perhaps. Resurrected my love for anime, particularly dumb slice of life shows and Madoka Magica (all hail you beautiful broken masterpiece of infinite spinoff potential)

I found my interest in psychology (wowwww surprise!!) Got a job, found some friends, told some people a long overdue fuck off. And rounded myself into a much more open minded person than I used to be.

I couldn’t care less how many people read this, mainly I’m doing it for me. To provide myself a clean slate and stuff. But if you do read this, and you used to enjoy my silly little posts or find them helpful or whatever: I hope you’re well, I’m glad you stuck around and I hope you stay :)

[bluesmason]

No it’s of course totally fine for others to have a different opinion about this.

But being told we don’t use our brains for the simple reason that we don’t agree on certain things was the last straw for me.

I love their blogs normally and I’m sure I’ll come back after this has calmed down, but rn i’m just gonna leave it at that for the sake of my own sanity.

i think you might be talking about what a mutual of mine said on her blog and i’d just like to say that she said multiple times that her comment about people not using their brains is about declan and not mason :)

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hi Quil!

4, 6, 7, and 9 for the ask game?

(Also this is just a little thing but I think on the last post you misspelled “amethyst” when you were tagging it and it would be really helpful if you could fix it? Thank you!)

- Amethyst

~

Hey Amethyst--sorry about the typo, should be fixed now!

4. Random weird or obscure fact about yourself?

When I was in eighth grade, I was a typical self-righteous 13 year old and when my school wanted students to submit speeches (this was optional) for graduation I. for some reason. was like I need to go off about justice and so I submitted one just complaining about school. the first line was something like “I know this speech won’t be chosen...” and I think about it a lot. like why did I do that. what did that accomplish. that’s so embarrassing who let me do that 

6. Random rant or info dump about something you like?

!!! I’ll keep these brief for the sake of length but! i love stories that delve into language and don’t just brush it aside! i recently read a short story called “the story of your life” by ted chiang. and I just. !!!! a linguist decoding a completely alien language and like 70% of the story is her process, working through it alongside her and hearing all the trial and error and the jargon is so satisfying. and yes I am biased since I study linguistics but still!! it reminded me of project hail mary a little, if anyone’s read that. it’s like the scenes of ryland working communication out with rocky if that was the whole story--and yes there’s other things like with the mc’s daughter and the restructuring how you view time. but i just love seeing the technicalities and process delved into. side note: also shout out to a chorus of dragons for including tidbits about language in its worldbuilding, i love it SO SO much

7.  Random rant or info dump about something you dislike?

okay. listen. I know people love dogs. but I cannot STAND the noises they make. it’s like it crawls inside my brain and scratches at my skull from the inside out, it’s an entirely irrational response and I feel like I genuinely lose my reasoning skills a little bit every single time I hear a dog growl or bark or whine. it’s like fight or flight and I have to like. leave or make it stop somehow otherwise i may genuinely lose it. which sucks because i HAVE a dog. and let me tell you. whenever i move out I will NOT be getting one of my own, like a hard no. genuinely for my sanity because it gets to me like nothing else. and that hypothetical dog would be much happier with someone who doesn’t get the sudden urge to enact violence (half-joking) every time it makes a sound.

9. Talk about something you know little/nothing about?

i don’t know anything about coding i think it might be witchcraft. like. i know there’s things happening and I understand the barest barest barest functions of html text (purely for posting to ao3). but beyond that? WHAT is going on there. i’ve considered learning, and I’ve also considered learning like. engine repair because it’s a similar what the fuck is happening in there situation. but i’d have to carve out the time. and it’s so daunting like goddamn theres things in there

[knittedkikwi]

Need to scream into the void. Please ignore.

I’m so tired. I need this work project to end. I worked ten and a half hours today, for the second time this week I might add. In fact, this has become a regular occurrence over the past couple months. I stopped early yesterday and by early I mean I only worked nine hours. I have been lying in bed for the past hour desperately trying to fall asleep but unable to because I can’t stop thinking about work. It’s midnight here and I just got out of bed to see if I had completely forgotten about something that would solve a big issue. Turns out I hadn’t, but the consultant we’re working with had already replied to my email listing that exact thing as a possible solution. I’m gonna take that as a good sign. Maybe I can put down one worry at least.

I’m so tired. I just want to go back to my normal 8 hour schedule. I want my evenings back. I want my puzzle breaks back. I want to come home without my work computer. I want to associate my home office with games again. I’ve developed an aversion to my personal computers because i’m glued to my work one so much. Any time not spent at my work computer needs to not be at a computer at all for the sake of my own sanity. Why couldn’t we have at least done this in the summer so I could go outside and get some sun after I clock out? But no, it has to be winter and dark for hours before I’m finished.

I’m so tired. I want to talk to The Guy. He was working from home today and we were both so busy that we didn’t even message each other until well after lunch and it was sporadic after that. I need a proper face to face conversation. He’s the most relaxing part of my day and this damn project barely lets us speak to each other anymore.

I’m so tired. I got less than 5 hours of sleep last night and it seems like I’ll be lucky if I get 5 and a half tonight. I’m writing this damn post because supposedly journaling helps a restless mind stop worrying at bedtime. Fingers crossed it works, but I have a feeling I’m going to just keep thinking about work.

I’m so tired. I wish I understood how a desk job can be so physically draining. I’ve been so tense lately (and probably had such bad posture that) that I had to take ibuprofen for my back. It doesn’t help that I overheard a friend telling the new person at our dnd game that this is my “intro to an adult job” or something along those lines. I wanted to punch him once those words sunk in through this haze of exhaustion. First adult job my ass. Your job’s not actually supposed to work you to death! Besides, I’m fairly certain my last job gave me ptsd because I was carrying so much. I stop breathing when I see that company’s products. I have nightmares about going back to work there. I couldn’t bring myself to throw out the shirts they gave me, so instead I would stumble across them in my closet and panic for a moment (I finally did toss them a few weeks ago, though. That was a relief). The weird thing is I can’t remember the specifics anymore. Like, I know it was miserable and I had too much to do and it was so overwhelming that I occasionally shut down. I remember I would regularly scream as I drove home because I just needed a release. But I don’t remember why exactly. I remember it felt like people hated me, but I can’t come up with examples. I get nauseous when I try to think of them, yet I can’t help but try. I know my memory is bad in general. This feels like that whole experience has a big scab over it though. There’s an outline of the injury, but you can’t see the actual wound anymore. Doesn’t stop me from picking at it.

I’m so tired. The end of this project is in sight, even if feels so far away. One thing I’m sure of, though, is that no matter how much pressure I’m under right now, now matter how much lingering dread from my old job persists, no matter how little time I get with The Guy, I’m in the right place. Things will go back to normal eventually, and I’ll be so grateful when they do.

[lovelovex]

no x posts no announcements, kind rude p don’t you think cutting such a big amount of people who CARE about you guys is too much??? it is hard to keep up with all your updates via fucking RUMORS of all things for fucks sake

oh we’re right off w the accusations ok ok ok sometimes i hate being the spokesperson, P the diplomat, but here we go

i’m gonna use this post for the whole rant bc it’s all p much the same in my inbox:

if ‘rumors’ have been your only source of information for the past i dont rly rmbr how many months honey that’s intentional

sometime in july, before i made that post ab the healing process, we sat down and went thru every email subscribed to our mailing list, every account in every gc we used to have, decided fuck it and created all the new ones, rmbr when we had like 500+ members in one of them? well that’s not happening ever again, outsiders aren’t allowed anymore

did it hurt your feelings being left out?

well it hurt my feelings to find out how many of you were actually involved in the case behind my back, how many of you knew exactly what was happening in those two years and stayed silent or worse – chose to side w the person who wanted to take everything he could away from me

not just me, my friends, my family, the ppl i love more than anything else in this world, have suffered enormously bc of His actions and bc of Your support of those actions

i know exactly who you all are, i have a list of names i dont want to hear ever again in my life

the damage you’ve done is irreparable, and it’s beyond my imagination how any of you still feel entitled to anything, did you rly think i’d never find out? i thought it was common knowledge i always find out one way or another

we’re all grown up ppl, and it’s not my place to tell you who you can or cannot talk to, you’ve made your choices and we’ve made ours, and if you ended up on the outside of the circle, welcome to consequences 101, your actions actually do have an impact, what a concept

the case played a big part in the whole thing, but we’re way past that now, and the thing is – the real reason behind ‘cutting out such a big amount of ppl’ is we’re tired, the better part of our lives was dedicated solely to creating a safe space, and we did, only to realize we’re our own safe space, it’s the ppl, so the shows are still happening, the karaoke nights and the acoustic sessions, i say my thank yous from the stage and in emotional voice msgs at 3am bc my god do i love our space, my little sanity oasis, that part hasn’t and will never change

what changed is that we don’t have to subject ourselves to scrutiny, to any form of judgement anymore rly, what they dont know they can’t ruin i rmbr a post like this somewhere on this blog, i dont have to read your thoughts on every single detail of every single move we make, i only hear opinions from those ppl i actually want to listen to, and no, i dont only surround myself w yes men now, if i do smth wrong i still get called out, rightfully so

what i’m mostly tired of is those half-assed friendships, of ppl who only wanted me smiling and shiny, who would disappear the second things got a bit depressing, i dont know who hurt you, but it wasn’t me, or maybe it was, in that case that’s on you if you never had the guts to open your mouth and actually say smth

yk i’ve had to say so many goodbyes in the last two years, i’ll say some more if it comes to this, i’m getting better at letting ppl come and go, but i could never tolerate indifference or betrayal, and i’ve had enough of both of these things

you can still go off in my inbox, let it all out, i can’t rly stop you, just know it doesn’t make any difference to me