#I think they were just clones or other people that have been conditioned

[itzshrike]

Okay but since all of our options for cx2 never came true…who were they????

[haine-kleine]

after sitting with my thoughts about the epilogue for some time, I think the thing that broke the story had started right after Dabi's dance. said thing is LOV' utterly out of character treatment of each other and Shigaraki specifically.

them just standing there and passively observing the scene makes absolutely zero sense, if you use anything from their previously established relationships within the organisation for reference. especially with All for One's creepy comments. Spinner even points out shortly before this chapter that AFO!Shigaraki seems nothing like his normal self and this person is not the one he had chosen to follow.

and yes, Spinner does approach screaming Shigaraki and tries to help him, and his concern later leads him to seeing Shigaraki's mutated form in the cave, and on its own this development for Spinner is in line with his character and all around fine. pretty reminiscent of Toga and Twice, too.

(except Spinner is not allowed to really help Shigaraki in any way, unlike Toga was allowed to help Twice, and this entire thing between Shigaraki and Spinner only ends with Spinner's regrets and survivor's guilt instead of anything good or meaningful that isn't meaningless angst porn)

it isn't Spinner approaching Shigaraki that is the issue, it's the other's complete lack of action or even reaction besides appearing mildly disturbed. this is simply out of character for all of them, just judging by Twice's example who had similar breakdowns and wasn't plainly ignored by the others until his fit stops. this reaction makes even less sense, when you take into account the current state of the League. Twice had just been murdered by Hawks, the double agent who had infiltrated the League via Dabi, and Mister Compress had just sacrificed himself to give the League a chance for escape, and was sent to Tartarus immediately after his condition was no longer life threatening. Kurogiri is also being held captive by the heroes. there are only four of them left, with two dead and two captured. and none of them even mention the dead or the captured outside of the context of Kurogiri and his quirk.

this straight out makes no sense if you look back to the Overhaul arc and remember how far Shigaraki and the rest of them were willing to go to avenge Magne's death and Mr Compress' destroyed arm. this was important.

the event had motivated Shigaraki to be a better leader, because he had realized these people depend on him, and he won't let them be hurt under his protection. it had started the seed of self-doubt in Jin which would eventually grow to the desperation that allowed him to overcome the mental block against his quirk in the MVA arc, because he wanted to do everything he possibly could to help the League. it allowed him to make his clones despite the crippling trauma, because he saw Toga's hurt, bleeding body, and he didn't want her to die.

even fucking Giran, a broker whose very profession requires him to care about himself and his own well-being first and foremost, had sacrificed all of his fingers to prevent Redestro from getting his hands on the League. because he wants to protect them, to save them. and then we never actually see his mutilated hands or hear anything from him ever again.

and when Twice actually dies? all we get in response to that are two upset faces from Dabi and Toga's fury. that's it.

i really want to stress how out of character this barely-present reaction is, because Magne's example is right there and when Overhaul had killed her, the League knew each other for no longer than a month. this League has been together for at least half a year, had been through thick and thin together, had spent months on the run, homeless, having no one but each other to rely on, has defeated the Meta Liberation Army, quite literally, with the power of their friendship. they all cared enough about each other and Shigaraki specifically to stay with him during those months they had to fight Gigantomachia with barely any breaks for rest, still homeless, barely scraping by. it was imperative that they all survive through this together, especially for Shigaraki, who had went on this quest of getting stronger at least partly so that he would become a more reliable protector for the League. and when Twice falls victim to the hero who had murdered him in cold blood, because no one except for Dabi was there to save him, Shigaraki doesn't even get to react to Twice's death, and possibly never even learns about the fact.

on topic of Dabi, his reaction being exactly two frames of sad expressions and including the footage of Twice's murder into his broadcast, and ending immediately after that, also makes no sense. Dabi is someone who holds himself accountable and despite his declarations, cares about the League, it's the very reason he was keeping Hawks from the League and sprinted to Twice as soon as he realized Hawks' intentions with him, to protect him. Dabi's unsuccessful attempt to save Twice is another iteration of Overhaul, a combination of Shigaraki and Twice's roles in the tragedy. but unlike Shigaraki, who had steeled himself into taking care of his subordinates and becoming a responsible and strong leader, or Twice who had never forgotten about his role in the incident, Dabi just somehow forgets about the entire thing as soon as the first war is over. Toga is the one whom the narrative allows to actively react to Twice's death and express her grief. it makes sense that her reaction would be the strongest, as she was the closest with Twice, but why are two LOV members no longer allowed to care about the same incident at the same time? why aren't they allowed to protect each other anymore, when Giran, who is not even in the League, had made that sacrifice for them?

These are pretty small things, but it's these instances of Toga and Dabi preventing Machia from being injected with the sedative, protecting the League that are sorely missing in the second war.

and the biggest act of devotion and protection to the League, which was the last time we saw anything like this for them, Mister Compress' last moments with the League.

Mutilating his own body just to buy them five seconds to possibly escape. Because he loved the League, because he wanted all of them to be happy and achieve their dreams, to be free, and to live.

and in return for the favour, not only do they not come back for him like they did for Kurogiri (because his quirk is important for the plot, while Compress' isn't), but none of them mention Compress ever again. same with Twice (with the exception of Toga), same with Magne. from this point onwards, none of them are allowed by the plot to even care about the League of Villains. the interpersonal relationships between two individuals still shine through, occasionally, like Spinner's devotion to Shigaraki (and him alone), Dabi and Toga's pyromaniac trauma lane visit to her house and him giving her Twice's blood, Kurogiri reaching out to Shigaraki in the very end. but what about the League? ahd what about the dead members of the League, or Mister Compress?

somehow, at the point of the final war it boils down to the generalized conflict of heroes vs villains and the morality gymnastics involved in the concept. on its own, this would have been an okay development, if the examples the story was using to prove its point weren't people who had become very close friends and who had lost four people to this war against the heroes.

if the individual conflicts, like Toga's desperation to be acknowledged as human being deserving of affection, Dabi's familial abuse trauma and Shigaraki's lifelong manipulation by All for One not giving him any chance to be saved at all, were the finishing line of the villains' story development, why join them within the League at all? LOV is a separate concept functioning as a collective uniting all these villains, giving them a place to belong and people who give a fuck whether they live or die. except not anymore, because for some reason after the first war this concept is scratched completely.

so why not make them mere acquaintances who sometimes collaborate to bother the heroes together, if the bond between them got in the way of the story and wasn't the point of the story? why prove the depth of their bond with the Overhaul and My Villain Academia arcs? why make Shigaraki develop relationships and a sense of responsibility for these people at all, if in the very end his desire to save these people is denied by the author himself?

the previous arcs have spent a great deal of effort establishing that the villains are human too. they have human feelings, human desires and human relationships. so why is it that in the final arc their ability to experience human emotions towards each other is turned on and off manually by the author? at the very end even the author stops pretending like anything happening to the villains is evaluated on the scale of human experiences (unlike the heroes, whose injuries and deaths are talked about and mourned in great detail) and Kurogiri and Shigaraki are wiped out like plot inconveniences rather than important and well written characters.

honestly? it's ironically meta that the story ended up proving the very point it has spent 400 chapters arguing against.

[hastalavistabyebye]

I've been thinking about it for quite some time (and it's a good thing my blog is so smol because a lotta people ain't going to like this) but we need to be honest for two seconds. Fox wouldn't be hated for killing Fives.

It's not the simple usual take on how Fox didn't fired right away and tried to calm Fives down first, how he was just doing his job. This is true but it goes deeper even.

The clones were taught how to deal with traitors.

We saw it with Rex when he met Cut Lawquane. He was faced with a deserter and his first reaction wasn't one of peaceful understanding at all, quite the contrary. Of course he let him go and live with his family in the end. (Interesting to note that there were no officer present too) But what's interesting is not the conclusion he made, but his instinctual, learned behavior : deserters = traitors = bad.

And during the Umbara arc, we saw that the clones also learned how to form a firing squad. They knew how to do that. Yes, in the end, again, they ended up letting their siblings live but there also was the aspect that they already doubt Krell's orders AND that this situation was clearly, stupidly unfair and wrong. And they didn't like nor trust the general himself already. So it was an easy order to go against. But then again what is interesting is that they knew how to do that.

The idea of the Vode not knowing or even being able to conceive shooting a brother, even less killing one, is very sweet but sadly not true. They are soldiers first, born and trained. They would not look kindly to traitors and deserters. They would also know how to court martial the formers, even (or maybe especially) if it's other clones.

All of this to say that Fox killing Fives after he tried to kill the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic ? The highest ranking person in the entire Republic ? And he was also armed, dangerous and out of control AND didn't listen to attempts at calming him. In all of those conditions, very little people would bat an eye to Fox taking those actions.

The only people that would hate Fox are the people close to Fives -Rex and Torrent, Cody and some of the 212th too maybe, by proxy, and Anakin. The Jedi would frown at this, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka maybe more than the rest and would be more affected, because they were close to Fives too.

But the rest of the GAR ? Well of course some won't see it with a kind eye because there's always people to tell you they would have done better, but globally they wouldn't mind so much. Because what Fox did was something they had been, in fact, trained for.

And even if there was a GAR/Guard divide, it wouldn't be this event that make everything goes from bad to worse. It might be one more critic on Fox, it might not be taken kindly. But in the end it would be more because it's Fox and they don't-like-Fox, more than the killing a brother part.

Okay this is longer than I thought it would be 😅 but my point still is : the Vode are soldiers first and foremost. They don't act under the same values and morals as us at all. They were trained to kill enemies of the Republic. If those enemies were among the Republic didn't change a thing. If those enemies were fellow clones didn't change a thing, they were trained to kill them too. So Fox only doing his job in that instant also means that a lot of other Clone Commanders would have done the very same as him. Maybe not all of them, sure (it can depend from their generals) (which Fox don't have from what we know). But maybe some of them wouldn't even have tried to resonate with Fives at all.

The point is : the GAR wouldn't have hate Fox for this. If they hated him, killing Fives wasn't the reason, nor even the starting point most likely.

[rad-batson]

Multiverse AU where different variants of Damian Wayne Al Ghul are accidentally hailed to one universe and Damian is in the middle, trying to get all of them back home, but it only gets worse and NOT for the reasons you would think.

So picture this: there’s a sea of Damian variants crowded into the Batcave. One’s a leader of the LOA. Another became the next Harley Quinn? One is a mute assassin. Another is Red Hood’s apprentice. One’s Batman. One’s a meta for some reason. Another is the leader of a revolution. One’s a monk. And another is a clone. They’re all somehow involved in vigilantism or the LOA.

And then there’s a completely normal one. He goes by Dami. He’s in college :) He works at an art studio. He’s got a heart condition. He has a boyfriend, and he has never been Robin before. In fact, he doesn’t even know his dad is Batman. So in a room full of wildly different versions, this Damian sticks out like a sore thumb. He’s like an NPC just standing in the middle of a final battle.

What he does know is that his mother, Talia, left the LOA with him when he was two because she fell in love with Bruce. Since then, the three have lived a Perfectly Normal Life as Perfectly Normal People in a moderately nice house in the suburbs of Gotham.

And you know what? No one questions it. Out of all the problems the Damians are having right now, Normal Damian is the least of them. So he just sits to the side, completely chill, and doesn’t interfere.

But then some chaos happens, the Damians are all sucked into a battle at some secondary location, Normal Dami is kidnapped, gets killed, and everyone’s super depressed about it. (Gosh, he was so nice. Why did it have to be him? Boo hoo. We didn’t even have time to recover the body.)

Until they head back to the cave…and there he is. Respawned. Alive. Confused.

He was literally dead on the floor two hours ago. They checked for a pulse! He bled out. Normal NPC Dami is supposed to be dead. But nope. He’s right there. “Hey, what happened? The last thing I remember is being tied up. Did I faint again?”

Everyone else, the whole batfamily and the mini Damian army, is like “wtf how’d you get here, buddy?” While he’s just like :) so Bruce, who put a bug on the security cameras or whatever, checks the footage and what he finds is absolutely horrifying.

Just after he died, Normal Dami’s eyes snapped open. Glowing a deep Lazarus Green. He stood up, walked out, and immediately fucking decimated the remaining group of kidnappers like a rabid animal. Literally anyone who got near him were goners, and Thank Sweet Jesus he didn’t run into anyone on the walk back because he didn’t care to clean off all that blood. Nope, he just walked right through the front doors of the manor, found a clean set of clothes, completely on autopilot, then all of the adrenaline wore off, and he collapsed from exhaustion.

So everyone watches the footage. NPC Damian is horrified. He insists that’s not him because he doesn’t kill people! How could they ever accuse him of killing people?! He has never done something like that. He can’t even walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded for Christ’s sake!

Nonetheless, he agrees to sit in their itty bitty holding cell as they do some fun little tests, and lo and behold: he is so genetically fucked up. Why? Because his DNA isn’t like the other Damians. It’s completely mutated by this green glowing substance that they know all too well.

The verdict? Normal Dami has been permanently mutated by the Lazarus Pit. The Lazarus Pit is inside of him. It IS him. Or maybe Normal NPC Damian is the Lazarus Pit.

When Normal Dami was two and he and Talia still lived with the LOA, there was an incident involving Damian drowning in the Lazarus Pit (à la Ra’s Al Ghul's Stellar Grand-Parenting Skills.) However, since he wasn’t dead, the Lazarus Pit devoured him, consumed him with violent pit madness, spat him back out, and Damian became this completely, unstoppably rage-filled toddler that can throw you over his shoulder and snap your neck. So Talia, terrified of what Ra’s would do with him, escaped to Gotham, found Bruce, begged for help, and they devised a plan.

Step 1: Raise Lazarus Damian as a completely normal kid.

Step 2: Take him to therapy. Maybe give him anger management classes. (Monitor his sugar intake. That couldn’t hurt.)

That was literally their whole plan. They had no other ideas ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Occasionally, he’d snap and kill someone in cold blood (whoopsie daisy) but his parents were an assassin and the world's greatest detective. No one’s gonna know.

Through some trial and error, they found out that abrupt adrenaline spikes were what triggered the madness. So they worked around it. They gave him calm, relaxing hobbies. They spoiled him with emotional support animals. They Never Raised Their Voices. He was homeschooled for a bit then introduced to university, but only AFTER they made sure Jon (the Indestructable Superboy) was his roommmate. (Yes, they told him. Yes, he is now part of the convoluted Keep Deadly Damian Relaxed Task Force. They’re also dating.) They got Damian a FitBit that tracked his heart rate so they could predict when his adrenaline spiked. They Life360’d his ass so fucking hard. Meanwhile, Damian just thought he had some kind of medical thing, none the wiser the entire time.

Long story short? “Chill Normal NPC Damian” Cannot Die. But he can Kill.

If he does “die” (the Lazarus Pit cannot die) then he goes into a murderous rage, kills everyone in sight, it wears off with the adrenaline, and he can’t remember what happened. This Damian is the Most Dangerous of the variants, and he doesn’t even know it because his parents decided that would be best.

And now the other Damians are scared of him, and he’s scared of himself, and no one knows why he's made of the Lazarus Pit, and they don’t know what to do with him, and they still don’t know how to get back, and some of them want to kill him, and some don't, but no one trusts him, including himself, and it becomes an all-out war over the fate of Damian.

Anyway, Normal Damian who's actually a Murderous Lazarus Spirit without even knowing it. Thank you :)

[stargirl-writes]

heal

pairing : f! reader x anakin skywalker

word count : 3.5 k

masterlist | ao3 link

summary

in which anakin skywalker chooses to run away with you before all is lost in mustafar.

tags : au, angst!!, hurt/no comfort

warnings : toxic love, dark fic, ptsd, and reader being so dependent on anakin, suicidal behavior

notes : my reader character being a healer is my self indulgent insert 😭

i've sat w this 4 so long cause i was like 'realistically, what would happen if anakin ran away?' and i think i've finally made up my mind abt it.

time is moving fast for this fic because i wanted to cover so much, so heads up for the skips!

ALSO, ear-ringing apologist perspective. if u can't handle reader being blind to faults, this is not for u haha!

likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated!

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. 

At least, it was something you want believed in.

The clone war that raged on revealed just how much people can be persuaded to do horrible things when their survival is at stake.

You underestimated that instinct yourself. The burning desperation to not lose your Anakin Skywalker. You thought, you would have killed for him, the way he would for you.

Obi-Wan Kenobi was the one to tell you how Anakin became irredeemable.

It was a blur how you flew to Mustafar despite it. You needed Anakin to admit to it, you needed to take him away from what he'll become.

The crimes he committed made you feel sick, septic like a festering wound.

But, whether you love what you love.

Or live in divided ceaseless revolt against it, what you love is your fate.

You've been so alone. So much so, you can only define a time with Anakin, and without him.

It was gradual. It couldn't have been some higher power that destined you to him, He had been a General of a war, and you, the Healer. It was all odds, that you fell in the right place at the wrong time.

An unwilling hero, and a glorified murderer.

He was crafted to be a tool in the war. Divinely created by the Force with the purpose of bringing balance. And in a war, that meant doing damage, killing.

Every victory he had was a stark contrast to yours.

Every life he takes, be it a droid or a separatist, is a win. And every life you lose is a name added to the long list of casualties.

You and Anakin were opposites.

So, the shock of it remains, because somehow along the way, Anakin loved you. And you loved him. You had each other to cling to.

The terror of What if it doesn't last, What if there's no one else? What happens if it goes back to being alone? persists.

And you might not belong anywhere else.

But you were his. As he is yours. Not in the manner of possession. Yours in the way of devotion.

Mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love.

You knew that Anakin's love was conditional. You were only the one in front of him. You didn't misunderstand. You let him use you anyway.

It's not like you were loving him unconditionally, it was because you were terrified to be lonely.

At least, in the beginning, you believed so.

Most days were occupied by your duties. And Anakin would love you in a way that is shaped like fingers wrapped around a throat. Incessant. Hungry. Teeth deep in possession. Making up for the little time, holding you against him as if he was bracing himself that someday you won't be around.

It felt like he was always saying goodbye.

So, though your heart was nearly breaking out of your ribs, you flew by yourself to Mustafar.

A pile of lifeless Separatist figures greeted you in horror.

It was true. Anakin had gone to the dark side. What he did with those children... 

The fear consumed you like a corrosion, but still, you stood in front of him, begging him to come back.

Anakin had carried a deep malaise when you had found him. It was almost emanating from his blood-stained robe, a coldness, a deadly assurance.

"You're not supposed to be here," Anakin says in a strangled voice. His hands firmly holding your arms.

The color of his eyes startled you. It was like looking at a ghost, and all that was left was an unending rage. You fought to not let your fear swallow you.

"Anakin, we have to go" Your lips quivered, not entirely sure what you were planning.

There will never be escaping the things he's done.

You want him to go away with you, anyway.

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. 

For a while, it was quiet. Anakin's glossy blue eyes were gazing at you, in conflict, and begging to be understood.

"I can't... Don't you see? I've restored justice to the galaxy" He abruptly lets go, and turns, concealing his face away from your sight. "The things I've done... I can't, there's no running away from it"

The guilt he feels leads him to think that the only path now is through the one he sacrificed his morality for.

"No," you struggled, voice failing to hide your anguish. "Anakin, you can't let this be your fate. Run away with me." You pleaded, eyes filled with tears.

A life of loneliness. With no one, the way it used to. 

Then, Anakin half turns. He surveys your willingness to take him as he is. Maybe, even wanting to believe it.

You have always loved Anakin, even the parts you have not understood.

Perhaps, this was the similarity that bound you together. Burning devotion. One that allows you to see past your moral code.

You gave so much to the war. You'd run yourself spent from the hours. You fought so hard to keep people from dying. You'd never taken anything but this. A chance at life. Away from it all.

"I would've done anything you asked of me" His voice reveals his devastation.

You stepped forward, "Then come with me, Leave it all behind, I need you"

You held your breath, half convinced that this may very much be the end of things.

But Anakin takes your hand, and you don't waste a minute more to take him away in your ship.

Your hands shook the entire time.

The galaxy was silent when the war ended.

Mace Windu's attempt to assassinate the Chancellor made the Jedi an enemy of the Empire.

It triggered an Order that made clone soldiers turn against their Generals. The Jedi are hunted down for treason.

You and Anakin will never find security again.

The atmosphere was thick with emotions that were strained by the abruptness of events. It was making it so much harder to breathe. To live with the truth of it.

All three years of the war are reduced to two moments; Anakin falling into Palpatine's manipulation, and Anakin choosing to run away with you.

You caught yourself slipping away. Tucked in a corner of your mind where you can feel safe.

The healer's oath replays in your mind, the cruelest reminder.

Blind to faults, blind to good. Serve to save, not to see.

As the jedi healer, you weren't allowed to deny patients. You wondered whether that played into role when you stomached all the horrible things Anakin did.  Serve to save, despite, despite, despite...

You landed in a remote place on your home planet of Hapes.

It was a secluded cabin that you used to go to when you were younger. Surrounded by a lake that stretches as far as your eyes can see. It was the first thing that came to mind when you set your ship on autopilot.

Anakin was quiet the entire time.

You, too, became paralyzed by the events that has unraveled.

For a few days, it remained like that.

Though the event has passed, your body can't quite regulate.

It still feels as though someone will find you. And take Anakin with them. You knew your hypervigilance was a consequence of your trauma, but knowing doesn't mean you can let the feeling go.

Even Anakin responds to mild stressors as if he was still in the war. He'd not let you off his sight the first few weeks.

You felt as though Anakin was trying to process everything in his mind. And you grew terrified of his growing silence. Knowing Anakin meant knowing his tendencies to vacillate violently. The reality of what he had done would set and it'd twist into something septic. An unending shame.

You were convinced that he'd have killed himself from it.

But then he'd stare at you deeply as if he was committing you to memory. He'd coddle your face in his palm. He'd hold your hand, hands that are capable of so much rage, and so much tenderness. He'd hold you tight against him in bed, the way he used to.

He can't quite communicate it through words yet, so he'd rely on his touch to let you know that he was still here. Your anxieties eased after. He needed to detangle it on his own. You'd be there whenever he is ready.

Obi-Wan Kenobi appears the next month.

It was through luck that you were the one to open the door.

You knew Obi-Wan would want Anakin to answer for the crimes he's committed.

You won't let him.

"What do you want?" You say cautiously. Stepping forward to the Jedi Master to stop him from entering your new home.

Obi-wan furrows his eyebrows at your action. He gazes at you for a moment before speaking up. "You know what he's done, [Name]"

"The Republic has fallen. The system that replaced it won't hold him to what he's done. It's the very reason for its existence, anyway"

Obi-Wan's eyebrows flashed hearing your words. It seemed as though you'd be the last person he'd expect to exhibit such... heartlessness.

"And what, do you intend to keep him here forever?"

You looked down, fiending an expression of indifference you learnt from Anakin.

"I'm more selfish than he is"

Obi-Wan sighs. There were no more Jedi Council to hold Anakin accountable. You wonder if Obi-Wan had gone looking for him out of the responsibility he felt he had. You could use that.

"If you have any love left for Anakin, You'll leave him with me" You persuaded.

Obi-Wan sharply looks at you. You knew he was being torn apart by his mind and heart.

The door swings, revealing Anakin who appears behind you.

Anakin's arm extends to put you behind him. Obi-Wan was caught, stricken by the sight of his apprentice. You held on to Anakin's forearm.

You held your breath.

Then, Obi-Wan opens his arm to hug Anakin.

Anakin froze, perhaps not expecting his Master to embrace him after...

He turns his head to look at you, then back to his Master. And he reluctantly wraps his arm around Obi-Wan.

You exhaled finally.

You saw Obi-Wan's glossy eyes as he pulled away. He may not forgive Anakin for all the things he's responsible for, but his love for him surpasses all the anger he has.

Gaining his master's acceptance, Anakin became recognizable once more.

However, Obi-Wan could not stay. Perhaps, he's grown sick of stomaching the love he had for Anakin. It was not an easy feeling to be fond of.

When Obi-Wan left, Anakin finally came to you.

It hauntingly paralleled the moment he broke down after he lost his mother. After he gave in to his rage. Only this time, he didn't hold the pose of defiance and came undone, weeping for what he'd done.

You held him and told him that what matters now is what he'll choose to do.

And in the months that come, Anakin has fought to deserve your forgiveness.

He wanted to earn your love.

As a healer, your experience with foraging natural medicine made you more equipped to build a sustainable life. In six months, you were able to make this house by the lake a place to call home.

But, Anakin is being dragged through time. He'd do his best to help, but you can feel his... silence. The weight of it, this was not the life he was groomed to have. He has always lived off the adrenaline. The absence of it makes him constantly feel as though he is at the other end of the high.

It'd worry you whenever he comes home late from a hunt. He's always been reckless, that much hasn't changed. He'd come home covered in tissue deep cuts, bruised muscles, and a dead-pan look in his eyes. It was a topic that you tried to communicate— and a topic Anakin would respond defensively to.

"It's nothing" He'd dismiss whilst you were dressing the wound.

You'd press the clean gauze over his skin, on the brink of anxiety. He'd wince and take the gauze from your hand.

And you'd stand up and leave, because your patience would have run out by then.

It upset you how he always stands on a cliff to wait for the winds to swoon him over because he won't jump, he won't make that decision himself.

Your breaths were shallow as you tried to calm down after yelling about how his passivity over danger was eating at you. You needed him to try. Because you can't save him on your own.

"I'm sorry" Anakin looks down, receding. " I just don't know how to do this" He admits, eyes wide, childlike, helpless.

And you thaw, breaths shallow as you fought to not cry from the anger.

"Anakin, if you don't..." You began, looking down at the ground as if the words would appear before you there. "if you don't want this anymore, you can go"

Because the entire year you have spent in this cabin, it felt like time has frozen. You hoped that in time, you and Anakin would find the courage to move past the war. Of course, it was futile, you can never take back what you've given to the effort.

Whatever is left of you and Anakin is all there is now. And sometimes, it feels like there is nothing. Just ghosts of who you once were. You weren't sure if being with you was making any difference at all.

You were selfish, but not enough to keep him as he wastes away. You'd let him go, even if it'd cripple you forever.

Anakin grabs both of your shoulders firmly, forcing you to look up to him.

"Why do you think I came with you?" Anakin's voice was stern. His eyes fixed, determined to imprint words to your heart.

You held on to his arm, swallowing your anguish. "I only meant that if I'm not doing you any good, you should—"

"And where would I go?" He interrupts, unrelenting.

"I don't know" You admitted. You're ruining him. You've done this to him. You should let him go.

His grip loosened, and his lips kept opening and closing as if he was eating up the words before letting it leave his mouth.

"—I'm trying, [Name]"

"I'm giving you my life, I don't have anything larger to give" His voice breaks, and his head dips. "I'm trying" he repeats.

You felt his tears warm against your clavicle. Your fingers tangling with his hair.

"I know, Ani" You coo gently. "We'll try together" You promised.

It was becoming clearer that he was alleviating his sins by trying to kill the entity that once controlled him. It was also becoming harder to see a monster when all you see is Anakin, the love you abandoned everything for.

Anakin, who was sold as a slave, and then freed, only to be chained to another lifelong servitude through the Jedi. Anakin, who was dropped in the middle of a war, and made responsible for a child whilst being a child himself.

The Jedi Order relied on his nature of winning, despite not agreeing with his tactics. He'd be patronized for his violence, which his life would soon be defined by. Anakin's worst action is murder, the same way his best action is murder. Because if he doesn't answer to the shots fired, he'd be the one receiving them.

He was never afforded any space to become anything else.

Except when he's with you.

Anakin can become cruel, the same way he is loving. Two truths can exist at the same time.

And with the months that flew by, you watched as Anakin continually chose to not let his darkness define him.

You were learning things about him that you couldn't have had during the war. The way he neatly keeps inventory of his tools. The intense focus in his eyes when he is concentrating. The way the wood creaks— the cadence of his steps. All committed to memory because no one else can know him the way you do.

He told you, you saved him. And you wept, unsure whether what you did was really an act of selflessness.

Living with him became easier. No more effort to try to gain his love. No approval, no admiration to attain. There is no role to play, no one to convince. Just, being. There was so much time, and the only thing that mattered was; how long do we have each other?

Most days, Anakin would carry his grief so well, that you'd forget it was even there. He'd work to minimize it, to live with it. However, when the dark comes, he has no control over his dreams. and the overwhelming shame and guilt seep.

It had been two years when you woke up abruptly to find the space beside you empty.

You grabbed your robe, the cold midnight air felt crisp against your skin. Finding Anakin was easy. He'd always wander towards the edge of the lake, staring at the moons.

"It's cold, Ani, come back to sleep" You urged, but Anakin's gaze was far away.

He has chopped some of his hair, and it looked the way it used to during the war. It startles you sometimes to remember how young he still was.

"I had a dream" He speaks softly, arms finding a way to snake around you so he'd press you against him. "It felt as real as you now" His gaze lands on you.

It terrified you to ask, but you did anyway.

"We had a child"

Oh.

You chuckled in surprise. Stepping back to process what he said. It just never seemed to occur to you, then. Though you have never dismissed the idea, it just felt like you were barely surviving to try to raise a child.

Anakin smiles when he realizes he made you flustered. "Good thing it was only a dream?"

You let out a breathless laugh, somehow relieved that Anakin was not seriously considering it.

"Yes," You weren't ready. You may never find it in yourself to ever be ready.

"We're not bringing a child now, not like this"

Anakin's expression melts, "Yes, the empire is growing stronger" His guilt resurfaces.

"I never imagined it to be like this for us," He thinks out loud,

"We have to make the best of what we have" You sigh.

"I've been thinking" Anakin begins, "maybe, there is still something that can be done"

You try steadying your breath, somehow bracing yourself for this moment; when he'll want to fight again.

It was everything he was made for. You knew that, you just didn't think it'd be in under a short period.

Something was screaming inside you. A fear, that you thought had gone when you ran away with Anakin. It was telling you that you were going to lose him. And you, selfishly, want to stop him. He can't... if he goes, he'll die. And you can't even begin to imagine what'll happen to you if he dies.

"How?" You asked despite yourself.

"Ahsoka mentioned something about a rebellion," He says, voice thick with something he hasn't had before. Hope.

"The galaxy needs changing" He steps forward.

You shook your head, overcome by the anxiety of it. "Anakin, I'm never going back"

He turns on his heel, eyes narrowed at your proclamation. "I didn't ask you to come back"

You tilt your head, "Of course, you weren't" Though you knew you were being unfair, just the idea of it was sending stress already.

Anakin's eyebrows knit. "I'm only thinking out loud, it's one thing to consider it but another to act on it" He defends.

Though, you know this is where it begins. And you were responding defensively because you knew where it would lead.

Anakin will forever feel as though he has to restore the galaxy to how it was before he helped destroyed it. It won't be long until he'd despise himself for choosing to stay here with you. Especially since it's been drilled into him that he's supposed to be the one to bring balance to the force.

Whether he loves you or lives in a divided ceaseless revolt against it, what he chooses to love is your fate.

His purpose or you. 

Going would give him his closure.

Going would anchor you to the hells of your biggest fear.

"Anakin, please don't go where I can't follow" Your voice broke, begging. It was selfish to want to keep him for the second time.

And you weren't sure whether your love would be enough for Anakin to stay.

Not when it only brought him here, a home by the lake, forever standing on thin ice that always threatened to break under.

You were living under the false pretense of security. All of this, the house, the lake, the isolation, are reminders that you and Anakin will never go back to normalcy, no matter how much you pretend.

A knife may dull, but its purpose remains to cut.

Anakin's expression softens and he presses his lips on the temples of your forehead.

You were slowly understanding that the entire galaxy's fate was carried inside Anakin Skywalker.

The chosen one.

Every decision he made was informed by that pressure. No matter how personal, it always builds to a path that he can't control, because it's already laid out for him.

Created by the force, to be used by the force.

So you can't find the heart to be angry when he left.

You decided it would be hopeless to try to stop him. Anakin has this view that everything in his life, he has to work to earn. To deserve.

Even this... freedom that you have.

He has to contribute to it, in this perverse grandiose action as to fight the Empire. So he can accept that you do indeed love him.

He has to seize this opportunity with Ahsoka. He is more autonomous of his power now. He is once again engaging in something that's risking his life. He can fulfill his destiny.

It didn't make it any less painful.

You had to inspire confidence in him, otherwise, he'd doubt. So, you pushed all your feelings away and smiled when you kissed him goodbye.

You never left the war. The two years you stole were only stalling the inevitable. Perhaps, two years was too generous.

"Bring him back, please" You took Ahsoka aside. Ahsoka nods uncommitedly. For, she won't promise what she can't deliver.

And once again, you have found yourself alone.

He swore he'd have done anything for you.

Just not this one.

His belief that he has no inherent right to life; and has to work to earn anything made you feel as though you were his... prize. A trophy. In which he'd fight for to retain but not value enough to take care of.

He should've stayed. It's good he left.

Because now that you have nothing, you're finally able to detangle how Anakin doesn't love you. Not in the way you thought. Anakin loves that he has you.

You have always put his wellness first, that now, when you are not so worried by walking carefully around his hurt, you are able to feel yours.

Perhaps, losing Anakin was good. You can finally put yourself first. Whilst he still seeks answers in the past

There is no going back to the way it was. You tried living 'normally' and it just became a bitter reminder that you are forever changed.

Acceptance of that and lending yourself a little more compassion might just be the beginning of your healing.

footnote

i'm obsessed with the writing style where authors strikes through the text ! it's such a smart way to imply that the character that's narrating is choosing not to allow those thoughts and so it looks like it's been scribbled out .

also, quoting ka applegate on relationships not lasting outside the war :

"wars don't end happily. not ever. often relationships that were central during war, dissolve during peace. some people who were brave and fearless in a war are unable to handle peace, feel disconnected and confused. "

[blazinginsquids]

Asuka Shikinami representing Asuka Soryu’s biggest fears

I’ve been thinking a lot about the differences between Soryu and Shikinami but above all one thing that’s stood out the most in my mind is that Shikinami kind of represents everything Soryu is afraid of happening.

In the 90s Evangelion, Asuka Langley Soryu’s greatest fear was being replaced. This was because her mother had gone crazy and had begun believing Asuka’s stuffed doll was Asuka herself, and she would spend days begging her mother to at least look at her, while her mother would take care of the doll instead. Her mother’s mental condition worsened and one day, her mother asked Asuka to kill herself along side her. Asuka agreed, but when she had come to tell her mother the news she had been elected as a pilot, she had found found her mothers dead body hanging alongside the doll. She had not been telling Asuka to kill herself, she had told the doll to do it.

Ever since, Asuka has had a strong desire to not be replaced, and a strong disdain for people who “act like dolls”, or in other words, do as they are told, as it reminds her of her traumatic relationship with her mother. This was why, when she had asked Rei “Would you kill yourself if the commander told you to?”, and Rei replied, “Yes”, it struck a nerve. It reminded Asuka of when she had almost killed herself just because she had been told.

She’s angry that Rei chooses to be a doll, and she’s even angrier that Rei is the Commander’s “favorite”. She’s his “favorite” because she is the clone of his wife who is destined to activate instrumentality, which Asuka is unaware of, and thus concludes it’s because she is a “doll”. Now, in the reboot, Asuka was renamed Asuka Langley Shikinami, as she had been given a different personality in the reboot. In the 90s anime, Asuka was an extrovert who thrived on attention from her peers and would never admit her own faults unless she was forced to.

In the reboot, she was actually willing to admit her mistakes and even try her best to prove she’s become better, she was introverted and struggled to make friends to the point that she even said in “You can (Not) advance” that she isn’t even sure she’s meant to have friends and is just built for solitude. She even likes dolls, carrying one around as a comfort item, and she follows orders and respects her superiors in ways Soryu never would. So, if Soryu’s worst fear is being replaced, then Shikinami is her worst fear incarnate. A version of her that is, in her eyes, a doll.

The 90s anime is now just a nostalgic test of time, the origins of one of anime’s most lucrative franchises. The reboot character designs are used in a myriad of Japan’s products or locations. The 90s designs used in marketing were replaced with the rebuild designs.

They act as cut outs, car companies and eyewear companies have bought the rights to use the evangelion character’s likeness for their commercials despite the characters having nothing to do with their products. It’s everything Soryu possibly could’ve wanted, but a version of her that is not her gets all of it. Soryu’s existence is slowly fading, becoming known not as Asuka, but the precursor to what is now considered Asuka. That is Asuka’s worst nightmare, and it is the world we live in. I just think that’s so crazy like ik she’s not real but if she was she would definitely be breaking down over it.

It’s sad, but in a way I think it unintentionally feels like a metaphor for how Asuka’s fears and toxic coping mechanisms are the same things that stopped her from having the life she wanted. Sure, Shikinami deals with her own assortment of issues, but so does everyone. No matter how much you heal, you’ll always have some sort of issue that needs room for improvement. I’m willing to admit I might just be looking too much into it but it’s whatever

[justatalkingface]

Let's talk about the Nomu and the Remnants

So, among all the other fuck fuck games Hori played with late-game MHA, I don't think anyone has really... picked up on just what implications he's made when it comes to Remnants.

You see, once upon a time, Remnants only existed because OFA let them, kept them, empowered them. Even when it wasn't really expanded on at the time, the fact that Izuku had them was a sign of his Heroic Mandate (TM) and Destiny(TM), it was something unique to him, something that even All Might didn't have. But... you know, now AFO is just filled with a screaming chorus of those he has damned or something.

Let's... let's ignore the general clusterfuck of AFO for this, and just... all the late game stuff. Let's just talk about one thing: the fact that he has Remnants, and the fact they've been trying to talk to (murder) him.

And first off, that's a big retcon, because even if the OFA Remnants didn't want to murder their users, I'm pretty damn sure they'd want to talk to them all the same, and yet somehow only Izuku noticed, even before the clusterfuck of the extra Quirks kicked in.

But even that's not the point, that's just an appetizer. Because the thing is? The Quirks AFO is holding aren't the only Quirks he's taken, far from it.

There are the Quirks he's given to various people throughout the years, subordinates, would be supporters and probably some random people he wanted to torture.

The Nomu he's made, experimented on for decades.

Hell, all the Quirks he and Dr. Diablo Ex Machina have made (somehow) throughout this time.

That's hundreds, maybe thousand, of Quirks. Millions potentially, if we're looking at the copies and trying to get a number out of the vague 'and then we invented a whole new science just to fuck other people over' bit. And according to this late game stuff? Every single one of them is host to the mental copy of the person they were stolen from (or cloned from, presumably). And outside of a few exceptions, (vanishingly few; while there were people in the past, and in rare occasions the present, who didn't want their Quirks... the magic dream copy in the Quirk would still have their Quirk. For them, the problem hasn't gone away at all! Maybe some of the reason they hated it is gone, but even at best they're still bearing that thing they've always hated... and that's not even getting into people who just... hated them, or thought they were wrong. Or were afraid of hurting someone... only to be given to someone who doesn't share those same concerns, or even the same level of restraint they had. Even though the actual person got what they wanted, there's a copy of them that is still in hell, and knows they're never going to escape it, because they are their own nightmare.) every single Quirk was stolen by force. Every single one of the remnants in these people are just... suffering, and for all intents and purposes will remain that way, until the person bearing them dies.

And all of that? All of that doesn't get into the Nomus. The largely brain dead living corpses made smashing together likely Quirks with the same energy of a child trying to force together Legos, even before whatever process happens to condition them into being loyal. What the hell does that do to a mind? Do they stay separate? Do they... blend together? Does the body/dominant mind/most powerful Quirk just get implanted with memories and desires of complete strangers?

Every single one of those exposed brain monstrosities is a walking, talking torture device filled with damned souls of some unknown number, and who even knows about how much is in the High Ends.

Hell, what about the copied Quirks? Do they retain the full knowledge of who they were? Or does each copy... lose something, each in generation away from the original? Do they realize that they're missing some fundamental portion of themselves, that they're not real?

I'm pretty damn sure that this, like so many things, is something that just happened because Hori didn't think it through, because this is horrifying on levels it's hard to comprehend. It's a level of human suffering on the level of you'd get from the Dark Eldar in WH40K, and on both Hori and AFO's parts, it's entirely accidental. And yet, I don't think there's one part of this that isn't canon compliant, that there's nothing to disprove the idea that, somewhere in Aoyoma, there's some poor sod that was shoved in there, that inside AFO there's a copy of Eri.

Just... just something I want people to think about, because I don't want to be the only one.

[faramirsonofgondor]

Some Thoughts on Crosshair (TBB)

**Buckle up because this is probably the longest post I’ve ever made because I lost the plot halfway through. Like this started out analytical and then just went sideways. (I spent hours writing this instead of doing my homework)

I think part of what makes Crosshair’s character so compelling in Season 1 & 2 of TBB is that his storyline is incredibly unique to himself.

Like throughout TCW & TBB we see that the clones are in this constant struggle of having to follow orders vs. choosing to do what they think is right. While every time this dilemma comes up, it happens in slightly different ways and has different consequences each time, the premise is mostly the same. The clones rebel against their orders, to do what the general audience views as “the right thing”. In certain cases, it may be more nuanced, such as Slick killing other clones as an act of revolution against the people he views as their oppressors (the Jedi & the Republic), or such as Fives attempting to assassinate the Chancellor.

It’s one of the main tropes of TCW - the clones were conditioned to be subservient , but the orders are questionable or immoral, and in the end the clone rebels. They made a distinct point of having Dogma, whose name is directly tied to obedience of authority, be the one to kill Krell when Rex couldn’t. Even the whole Cut & Suu situation was an act rebellion in itself. Time and time again, TCW shows the clones rebelling in various ways, whether it be desertion and quaint domesticity, or attempting to assassinate the head political figure of your governing body.

Then in the last season of TCW and TBB, we see the clones rebellion being set up in a more distinctive pattern - the clones learn about the chips, the clones remove their chips, and then immediately after the clones either (1) die, (2) decide to retire or go on the run (3) organize and fight against the empire, or some combination of those three.

Enter Crosshair, who is quite literally one of the only clones (the only clone?) who doesn’t follow the pattern. Every single clone we’ve seen who is aware of the chips/has their chip removed, and even some of the ones who don’t in TBB, chose to fight against the Empire. It reinforces to the audience that this is the Right Choice to make. They’re shoving it in our faces, saying “Hey! See!! This is the right thing to do!!! This is what any one would do in this situation!! Any good person would rebel!!! Because it’s the right thing to do!!!” But Crosshair is the exception. Somewhere between 1x08 and 1x14, his chip is removed. And unlike every other clone who has been in his position, he chooses to stay, to follow orders (somewhat), and to turn his back on everyone who rebels.

This creates a fascinating arc and an incredibly unique mindset for Crosshair, because it goes against everything we’ve seen about the clones and their morals. No matter side of the rebellion that they’re on, the clones have all placed a tremendous emphasis on loyalty and brotherhood when it comes down to decision making and their morals. A significant amount of clones that TBB or Rex & his rebellion squad encounter allow themselves to be reasoned with, subconsciously placing their loyalty and sense of brotherhood above following their orders, such as Howzer in s1 and Wolffe in s3. But not Crosshair.

This causes the audience to question why? Why would Crosshair choose the Empire? Why would he choose to go against the rebellion? Why would he choose to give up part of his freedom, part of his ability to make choices, just to side with the Empire? Why would he believe that this is the right thing to do?

And while it is somewhat established that part of his reasoning is that he feels like he was betrayed by TBB and that Empire is making the world better (or whatever propaganda they were spewing), I think it goes a lot deeper than that.

In 1x01, we see Echo upset by the revelation that the Republic has now become the Galactic Empire, to which Crosshair says “Republic, Empire, what’s the difference?” I think it’s a very subtle allusion to how little freedom the clones had in their lives, and how much the Republic had already fallen. While Crosshair asks the question in a very bored/deadpan drawl (as he does most things), it does seem to be a genuine question. What is the difference between? I know most people would probably interpret that scene as him implying that it doesn’t matter whether they fight for the Empire or the Republic, because it’s all the same to him and they’re just supposed to follow orders.

But just how different is the Empire from the Republic, really? From a general point of view, the main difference in how they operate is that the Chancellor - now Emperor, has more permanent power and influence. He’s legally(?) allowed to make more decisions without approval from the Senate. But he was already doing that throughout the war. He was already gaining more and more power. He was already in complete control of the Republic and he held extreme influence over the entire Jedi Order. This was all in his persona as Palpatine as well, not as Darth Sidious. Sure he orchestrated behind the scenes as a Sith, played both sides of the war, yada yada, made convoluted plans to cause chaos and distrust within the order, groomed children to be evil, and all that other stuff. But like also, from a general pov, he literally controlled the order. Like whenever the order was like “we don’t think this a good idea” or “we shouldn’t do it this way” or “this goes against our code”, he straight up was just like “well I’m Chancellor of the Republic. You have to do what I say. And I say you have to do it.” Like the Jedi, who are “peacekeepers” were literally forced into being warmongers. The Jedi don’t want a Zillo Beast running around, the Chancellor makes it his pet and then lets it run around. Anakin wants to lead his men on Umbara, the Chancellor calls him back. The Jedi want to know more about Fives death, the Chancellor gets them to back off. Anakin thinks they should take Dooku in alive, the Chancellor convinces him to kill Dooku. The Jedi want the Chancellor to give up his emergency powers, the Chancellor kills all of them. Jedi say no, Chancellor says yes. The Chancellor was controlling everything long before he even uttered the words “Galactic Empire”. The only thing that changed was that he was no longer trying to hide it. The Senate no longer had the illusion of democracy, and then and their people could see the freedom they once had shrinking as they days passed.

But the clones never lived under the assumption that they would be permitted freedom - not really. Sure, maybe they were allowed to make some choices, they could change their haircut, paint their armor, and have downtime if they were lucky. But even then, they lived under the idea that they were there to serve the Republic as soldiers. They were there to follow orders and nothing else. And while, like I stated before, they did rebel against their orders at times in TCW, they were never actively trying to dismantle the system they rebelled against (except maybe Fives, who immediately tried to kill the Chancellor once he realized what was going on). They were aware that they didn’t have much control, and they were resigned to that fact for the most part. So really, what did it matter if the Republic became an Empire instead?

Well, Tech responds by saying that a big difference for him between the Republic and the Empire was the genocide of the Jedi. Despite the fact that they were labeled as traitors, the entire batch (sans Crosshair) is uneasy with idea that they had all committed mass genocide against the same people they served beside. This is important because it demonstrates that they aren’t upset by their own lack of freedom within this Empire, but rather the actions of the Empire itself. They don’t view the Empire as evil because of the system it creates, but rather because of what the Empire has done.

Then the episode continues, and TBB are ordered to kill innocent civilians. This just further reinforces the idea that the Empire is evil - or at the very least, wrong. The rest of season unfolds similarly, with Empire doing evil stuff and TBB fighting against it, and Crosshair siding with the Empire the whole time. Now, this brings me back to my earlier statement that Crosshairs motivations are deeper than just the chip and the betrayal he feels by TBB. It’s clear in episode 1, and in other episodes, that Crosshair is struggling against the chip. The clear headache and confusion he has about why he’s following orders is a huge tell. Then, after Bracca (likely when his chip was removed), we see that he’s not as trigger happy against “traitors” and that he himself can now disobey orders. But Crosshair stays with the Empire. He can’t be reasoned with. In fact, Crosshair is the one trying to persuade TBB to join the Empire. He abducts Hunter, hatches his plot, kills a bunch of imperials, nearly gets himself killed, and even saves the child he was beefing with. But TBB don’t want to be apart of the Empire, and Crosshair does. Unlike the other clones in his position, Crosshair doesn’t put brotherhood first.

Crosshair constantly talks about how he’s doing something great by being apart of the Empire and spouts propaganda all day long, but I don’t think he really believes it. I don’t think it’s necessarily about loyalty, or even about following orders. All of the other clones, even the rest of TBB, viewed themselves as soldiers/assets of the Republic. For a lot of them, this meant fighting and possibly dying beside their brothers, and beside their Jedis. But I think Crosshair didn’t really see himself as soldier, but rather as a weapon.

TBB is a specialized task force that doesn’t get along with most clones, and they don’t have a Jedi or general, they just have each other. They get sent on a mission, they complete it successfully, then they go to Kamino where they’re isolated and ostracized. While it’s clear they can form bonds with other clones (Cody, Rex, etc.) and even some Jedi (Anakin, Depa?), they don’t so very often, and they likely don’t see those clones very often. So, for the most part, they have to rely on each other. But Crosshair is more isolated than the rest of them, because as the sniper, he kind of has to be. They all rely on him to have their backs, and so he has to be more cautious, more alert, and more observant. The rest of the batch can fall short at times, Hunter can lose a fight, Wrecker can be too loud or accidentally set off an explosion, Tech can mess up or take too long, Echo can trigger something he didn’t intend to, but Crosshair? Crosshair never misses, because he can’t afford to. He doesn’t have the luxury of making mistakes, not like the rest of them do. And when they do mess up, he has to be prepared to fix it. Because all their lives depend on it. And sure, the rest of the batch has the ability to think quickly and creatively and come up with solutions for any mistakes they make, but Crosshair has the ability to take down enemies long before anyone else sees them coming. He can pick them off one by one from afar, whereas the rest of the batch wouldn’t be able to do so. Hunter, Tech, and Echo would likely have to resort to hand-to-hand combat. Tech and Echo would also likely be able to find some sort of way to electronically take them down, but it would still take time and effort. Wrecker would be able to detonate explosives, launch grenades, and would likely take down a larger number of enemies in hand-to-hand combat, but he’s also a bigger target and has to be careful about when and how he rigs his explosives. But Crosshair can kill them quickly and efficiently without fail, and so that’s what he does.

I think that deep down his role has an incredibly large impact on his sense of self and it dehumanizes him in a way that the others’ roles don’t. Because as I said earlier, the rest of them are soldiers, but Crosshair sees himself as a weapon. Hunter is a leader, and a tracker, and a fighter. He uses his body to fight and track and uses his mind to give orders. Tech is a genius, and a pilot, and a fighter. He uses his mind primarily and he uses it impressively but he’s capable of using his body when he needs to. Wrecker is a bomb technician, a hulk, and a lover. He uses his mind when he rigging his explosives, and he uses his body to fight and to be overly affectionate with everyone he cares about. Echo is a tactician, an ARC, and a survivor. He uses his mind to plan and uses his body to fight and he’s able to keep alive against all odds. Crosshair is an enigma experiment, a good soldier shot, and a brother loner. Sure he has to use his mind to calculate the angles of shots and whatnot, and he can use his body to see a target, align his scope and pull the trigger, but really how’s that any different than a machine. Droids do all that too. The only difference is that Crosshair is really fucking great at it, and droids aren’t. And sure, Crosshair can think, and he can eat, and he can sleep, and he can feel, but what’s so important about all of that anyways? That’s not what he was made for. That’s not what he’s needed for. He may need to eat and think and sleep at times, but those were more inconvenient than they were anything else. Droids don’t need food, or sleep, or the ability to do anything other than be a weapon. But Crosshair did need those, despite how much better of a weapon he was. So sure, Crosshair was technically a living breathing person soldier. But deep down he knew that if there was some way for Kaminoans to get rid of those needs, to rid him of them, they would. So really, the only differences between him and any other weapon was that he was a lot fucking better than the other weapons, and that he had a few more needs, every weapon needs regular upkeep anyways.

That’s why he stays. Because weapons don’t need brothers, they need handlers. Because weapons don’t need family, they need targets. Because weapons don’t need love, they need war. Because weapons don’t need belonging or loyalty, they need purpose, they need use. That’s all he needs. That’s all he knows. That’s why he stays.

That’s why the batch’s reasoning, their appeal to brotherhood and loyalty, and love, and morals, doesn’t work. That’s not who what he is. That’s not what he’s made for. That’s not why he saved them and that’s not why he lets go and that’s not why he lies to Empire (yes it is). And that’s not why, despite everything, he can’t look away watches them leave him again and wonders if it hurt them this much to watch him stay if they watched at all. That’s not why, as the rotations pass and nobody comes and his hunger and thirst become more apparent, and his body starts to weaken, he briefly wishes he went with them. That’s not why at all. He just misses them food and water and sleep, he just wants them the ache in bones to leave, he just needs them some rest and a target and purpose, really that’s all he needs. Because he’s a weapon. That’s all he’s ever been he was a brother and a person. That’s all he’s ever supposed to be. That’s why, when Cody begins asking questions, he reminds him that they’re soldiers, that they’re doing what they’re supposed to do. But Cody doesn’t seem to get it, or maybe he gets it too much, because then he tells Crosshair that they’re different from droids, that they make their own choices, and that they have to live with their choices since when did he get to live with anything. And maybe Crosshair is the one who doesn’t get it, but he doesn’t need to, because he’s a weapon and weapons don’t need to think good soldiers follow orders. Except, maybe being a weapon isn’t enough anymore. Crosshair was a good weapon, a great weapon, and yet he was shipped off to some nowhere ice planet for no reason weapons don’t need reasons. Then came Mayday. Crosshair tried to keep him at arms length weapons don’t need friends, but then Crosshair steps on the mine weapons can’t make mistakes and Mayday saves him despite the risk Crosshair can’t need saving that’s not how snipers operate. And then they find the cargo. And then Mayday gets injured. And then Crosshair saves him and carries him all way back. And then Nolan lets him die. And then Crosshair - Crosshair was angry weapons don’t feel, and for a moment he let himself feel everything. And then he was reprimanded, and being given orders, and he should follow them. It was what he was made for. But he didn’t. He wanted answers, wanted to know what he did wrong, wanted to know why he was being discarded again, wanted to know why Hunter and Echo and Tech and Wrecker and Howzer and Cody and hundreds of other clones seemed to see something he couldn’t, wanted to know why Mayday had to die when he was a good soldier good soldiers follow orders, and he wanted to know his purpose. But weapons don’t need to think, and Crosshair was a weapon. So he did as all weapons do, and he fired. And Nolan never saw it coming. And it’s not until he’s being experimented on, surrounded by hundreds of other clones in the same position as him, that Crosshair realizes he’s not a weapon he never was.

This is why his arc is compelling, so fascinating, and so significant. When the other clones struggle with following orders and their loyalty to the Republic/Empire, it’s because they’re struggling between what they’ve been conditioned to think/supposed to do and what they care about/think is right. But Crosshair’s struggle comes from the war between his obedience and his individualism. This is why it takes him so long to leave, because his individualism is part of the reason he’s so obedient in the first place. Because he thinks differently, he views himself differently, he has a different world view, and a different kind of logic. The other clones leave/disobey when they realize that Republic/Empire is doing more harm than good but to Crosshair it doesn’t matter what happens so long as he obeys and does his job. Which, again, is why the batch’s actions and pleas for him to leave the Empire don’t appeal to him. In their minds, they’re doing what’s right by helping people and trying to stop the Empire from hurting and killing others. In Crosshair’s mind, he’s doing what’s right by fulfilling his purpose and doing whatever the Empire asks of him. I just find it highly unlikely that the reason Crosshair stayed with the Empire was because he felt betrayed and left behind by Hunter and the batch or because he wanted some sort of revenge. Getting left behind would have likely be upsetting and make him angry, but I don’t think it’s the main motivation for Crosshairs actions in S1. He stated in TCW that he would’ve left Echo behind as well, which might’ve just been to rile up Rex, but then in S2 he tells Mayday he’s not going to carry any deadweight. While he does end up carrying Mayday, I think that Crosshair’s words imply that he can understand why he was left behind, even if it is upsetting. I think most of Crosshair’s anger isn’t because they left him behind, but because they left the Empire at all. Because despite what Crosshair says about Hunter not being to loyal and never giving him a chance, Crosshair didn’t want to go with them, he wanted them to come back. Crosshair had multiple opportunities to leave before the S1 finale, and he had the opportunity to leave in the finale as well, but he turned them down because he didn’t want to get out.

This all really makes me wish we had gotten episodes about the batch when they were younger. I want to know more about how they grew up and what their training looked like and their first missions.

[f1crecs]

Fic Rec List - Daniel/Max

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We've had a couple of Maxiel related asks recently so thought this was the perfect time to get a general list together! :)

nsfw: give, give, take by hungerpunch and thermocline | E | 3.7k

PWP in which transmasc Max tops Daniel for the first time. This PWP is so hot your circuit board may be in danger, fair warning. The characterisations and dialogue are great, Daniel with terrible "sexy" lines and Max a little surprised but very willing to give it to Daniel when he asks for it. I really like how Max's (probably pretty understandable) expectations of Daniel are subverted by the request.

Daniel props himself up on a forearm, cradling his chin in his hand. “Maybe, but—” he affects what he probably thinks is a sultry moue. “—when are you gonna get me on your strap, though?” Max can’t help the way his eyes widen. They’ve been fucking long enough that he supposes it’s not weird of Daniel to ask, but normally the type of men he attracts aren't as… self-possessed about busting it open. He goes from vaguely tired and mellow to wide awake and horny in less than a second; his body suddenly more electricity than muscle. "Uhh," he thinks aloud, his mouth buffering a beat slower than his brain, "... now?"

wish you away in my dreams by @vicsy | M | 7.5k

This is a stunning story, that, through the medium of Max and Daniel's relationship, examines the concept of fear, loss, and misplaced emotions. Everything this writer shares is stunning, but I particularly loved the use of imagery in this one. Beautiful!

Before him, Daniel’s form is incandescent in a golden glimmer, his unruly curls illuminated like a halo around his head. It pulls a punched-out breath out of Max’s lungs. He’ll rip the reconciliation from out of his soul if he has to, he’ll race it to the end, do what he does best, not a drop of fear tipping the scales against him this time.

nsfw: Through the Ages by Bells33 and Whippasnappa | E | 9k

A beautiful examination of Daniel and Max over the years, from 2017 to 2023. Brilliant writing and incredible graphics are interspersed with facts and figures, and it makes for a truly special read.

And here’s the thing; when Daniel laughs, it makes Max laugh too. So they’re laughing, and Daniel is helping Max extricate himself from the table where it’s folded in a bit and grabbed him like a snappy crocodile. And then there’s just this fucking moment where Max is finally upright, they’re stood way too close, inches apart, and he’s still holding on to Max’s arms for some reason. They're the same height, now. Daniel can’t remember when that happened. One moment, he’d been taller than Max. And now, Max meets him directly eye to eye.

nsfw: tender is my heart by @missyourflight | E | 10.6k

This is a Never Let Me Go AU. Daniel works in a cafe by sea. One day, a man walks in and orders a meal. Daniel can tell there is something strange about him, but isn't sure quite what. Eventually, he learns that Max is a clone, created to be an organ donor. This fic is atmospheric, sad, and explores the horrific ethics of the situation Max has been born into. He has been conditioned since birth to accept and embrace his fate - that one day, his organs will be harvested and he will die so that others may live. Daniel is horrified but is fighting against a lifetime of indoctrination to make Max see why.

“Because I thought you were a fucking – closeted Mormon, not –” “I told you I was a donor, you could have asked me to explain, you could have asked me –” “Explain it now, then!” Daniel explodes. “Fucking go on and tell me, Max, I’m all ears.” When Mr Gianpiero had explained it to them, before he was sent away from Hailsham, he’d said, not unkindly and quite clearly, so they understood, “You’re not people, not legally. Your bodies are not your own.” And he’d told them the truth, about the donations. About how long they’d get. “It’s what I’m for,” Max says, the only explanation he has. “It’s not,” Daniel says, grabbing Max’s hands in his. “This –” They’re moving together, as close as they can get, their foreheads pressed against each other, salt on both their faces, and Max feels it, the way he feels it every time Daniel touches him, the rightness of it: this is what his body is for. “This is so fucked,” Daniel says, and it hits Max like ice water. “I shouldn’t have told you,” he says, and when he steps back Daniel doesn’t reach for him again.

nsfw: caught you coming alive by anonymous | E | 17.9k

This is a dystopian future AU in which people are matched by computer before marrying. They meet their matches while blindfolded and are expected to have sex to determine if they're physically attracted and compatible. Daniel is disillusioned and cynical about the process after years of failed matches. It's Max's first time. The ache of loneliness around Daniel is palpable, and Max's guilelessness is completely in character. Max is carrying the baggage of family expectations. Their connection is natural and immediate. The worldbuilding of the story is deft and elegant and never detracts from the character work. Also, it takes a very talented author to write double-blindfolded smut.

His hand is still resting against the inside of Daniel’s bicep, and he inhales like he’s preparing for something. It is so quiet for so long that Max almost asks if Daniel wants to stop. But then they are in motion again and his fingers travel across the crook of his elbow again to the top of his forearm. “I have a little cupid here,” and the Max’s hand is only there for a moment before it’s on the move again, down, “and a bit of love underneath him. In case he needs a boost.” There is a crack, minute, and so quiet Max wonders if he only heard it because he can’t see. Maybe he wouldn’t have noticed the hitch in Daniel’s voice if he was too caught up staring at his face or tracing tattoos he can only shape in his head. But it’s there. Breaking around the word love and not quite putting itself back together by the time he’s finished speaking. Max wishes he could see him, if only to lean in to kiss him without risking a black eye for them both. “And to round off the top half of the tour, we have my beautiful rose.” Daniel’s light, teasing tone is back, and he has laced their hands together, Max’s right in Daniel’s left. “If you just do this,” and he rubs his thumb across the top of Max’s hand, “you might feel it. No thorns to worry about.”

nsfw: glory, from a high rise by @yekoc | E | 24.3k

Another AU, this one featuring Daniel as a bartender and Max as a troubled finance worker who tries to drink (and fuck) his sorrows away. This is one of the first maxiel fics I ever read. It's kind of a greatest hit in Maxiel fandom to the point where I wondered if I should even rec it. But the chance of someone new coming along to the pairing and missing out on this masterpiece is one I can't bear to take. Max's sadness and self-punishment in this story is crushing, and his emotional unavailability makes this relationship's early stages very difficult. Daniel is emotionally mature enough to protect himself and be realistic and clear about what he wants and needs in a partner. It's a long journey for them (and us), but absolutely worth it.

He couldn’t look at Daniel. Daniel didn’t need to apologize; Max knew what he wanted was fucked up, something desperate and out of his control. With Daniel sometimes it had felt better, like it was something okay; like he was good. But Max got it. Daniel wanted a—a boyfriend, someone he took home and went out to dinner with and introduced to his family at Christmas. He was thirty. His friends had families. Daniel deserved that too. He would be good at it.

nsfw: one step closer and i'm real by whichisgolden | E | 24.7k

Max time travels through different universes and falls in love with every version of Daniel. I loved the ending so much (and I won't spoil it but it's absolutely adorable). I also loved the characterization of both Max and Daniel, it felt so real!

“Daniel kissed the side of his face, his eyebrow. “If I did choose,” he said, haltingly. “If I wanted to come back, and what you’re saying is right and you got zapped away into another dimension— I don’t think there’s any universe where I wouldn’t want to do this with you. All Daniel Ricciardos want to kiss you.” Max opened one eye. “What if I have the defective one?” Daniel burst into laughter. “I think we’re all defective, actually. That’s why we like you.” “Okay, shut up.” Max wrestled him down on the couch to kiss him, and then they had to go celebrate.

Anonymous by @boxboxbrioche | M | 26.4k

This fic is partially told through emails & social media messages, and takes place in a parallel-canon 2022 season, where F1 has taken some PR hits because the drivers are constantly getting into fights. The FIA hires an expert public relations manager, who has some... creative solutions, including an anonymous messaging feature between drivers. Every part of this makes me smile: the warm, dry humour, the perfect characterisation & Maxiel dynamic, the PR shenanigans... and, of course, the "anonymous" messages. It feels like a love letter to online friendships, not just anonymous ones - celebrating how you can be your honest self and share what you might not share with people irl (and, if you're Max and Daniel, fall in love all over again in the process!)

P.S. - A big congratulations to Roscoe Hamilton for signing on for a new modelling contract, showing off a range of very fashionable luxury dog jackets. Although the adage goes - ‘never work with children or animals’ - I do sometimes wonder if it would be easier on both counts.

nsfw: there was always warmth between us by @freeuselandonorris | E | 32.1k

Max brings a sex toy to a race and Daniel inevitably finds it. What ensues is rising sexual tension and tiptoeing around each other. I really liked this fic for how it made this single event, Daniel finding Max’s toy, into a deeper story with rising tension and a lot of humanness. I think that was my favourite part about it, how human both this Max and Daniel are, even within the context of sex. The character development was a lot of fun to read and made the pay off even more worth it!

Dan smiles at him in an unfocused sort of way, his hand brushing against Max’s knuckles. Max twitches. Is he doing it on purpose? He glances at Dan’s face but finds it inscrutable.

nsfw: come on, star boy by @yekoc | E | 42k

A high school football AU of Max and Daniel! Featuring past Brocedes and a little bit of angst with Jos being a sucky dad. They live in Alabama and it explores their story in high school love! I loved the writing style so much! I feel like high school AUs are also not super common in the F1 fandom, so it was so nice reading it!

“Do you miss it?” Daniel asks. “Not school, I mean. Soccer. Football.” “Yes,” Max says. He draws his feet up onto the seat and wraps his arms around his legs, chin on his knees. The strap of the seat belt pulls against his broad shoulders. It can’t be very comfortable. Daniel can’t get his head around it, that Max and his dad moved all the way to what, to fucking nowhere Alabama, so that he could play football instead of soccer; so that he could grab hold of some faint trail towards stardom.

nsfw: right where you left me by TheNorthRemembers | E | 54k

It's 2018, and Daniel and Max are driving for Red Bull. It's the Azerbaijan GP, and the inevitable crash happens. Max goes to sleep, but once he wakes up–he finds that he's in a time loop. This is my favorite time loop fic ever! "It's race day" quotes haunt me in my sleep in the best way possible, and the fic delves so much into Daniel leaving Red Bull and how Max deals with it.

All Max can do is stare, his heart beating so hard, he can feel it in his voice as he speaks. “You are leaving.” How are they supposed to be together if Daniel is leaving? If he hates racing with Max so much that he wants to give up his seat with Red Bull, his chance at winning, at winning it all. How can they- He never says ‘I love you’ but he just called Max a child, he just said he’d leave. And what the fuck does that say about them? About Daniel’s feelings for Max? “I’m doing what is best for my career,” Daniel says, like that means anything at all.

this list was compiled by @lydia-petze, @boxboxbrioche, @maaxverstappen, @blueballsracing, @singsweetmelodies

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 17 thoughts:

Travelers backstory!!!!!!!!! WOOOO!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT THEY ARE FROM EARTH ALEPH! That really explains the mysterious nature of their backstory up to now.

Would have loved to get some PoV's from some people who aren't Trickster but I'll live.

He's just such an asshole! Like I already knew he was but god DAMN did this arc remove any doubt.

Just the worst type of asshole that can be found in MOBA games (I say this as someone who played MOBA games for years). And then given superpowers. Ugh.

THE SIMURGH FUCKING HELL OH MY GOD I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!

SHE IS MY FAVORITE ENDBRINGER AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS EVEN IF SHE IS SUPER DUPER EVIL AND TERRIBLE! BUT SHE JUST SINGS IN EVERYONE'S HEADS AND THEY SEE THINGS THAT SHE WANTS THEM TO SEE AND SHE SEES THE FUTURE AND CREATES A CAUSE AND EFFECT PLAGUE BASICALLY AND I LOVE HER!!

Just the level of planning ahead she does, the number of moves ahead Simmy is playing. After the first few times she shows up they start quarantining where she attacks. Which ends up being exactly the right situation needed to push the Travelers to the choices she wanted them to make. Like, is quarantining even a counter to the Smurph or is it exactly what she wanted?

Sure precogs mess with precogs. That makes sense. But I don't know that it is as clear cut as Coil presented to Trickster. He implies two precogs just cancel each other out, but I assume it's more of a strength thing - a strong precog will cancel out a weak precog, but a weak precog will only make things a little fuzzier for a strong precog. So having Dinah would have helped against the Simurgh but I don't think it would be enough to just cancel out the Simurgh's power. Coil and Tattletale would probably also help. But I'm not convinced the last few months in Brockton Bay hasn't been more or less what Simmy wanted to happen.

Cody is the only person here that is probably more of an asshole than Krouse. Just could not get over the fact that Noelle didn't want to date him. Unbearably entitled dick. Possibly dead now, if Accord got his way. But very possibly not. Won't be surprised if he shows up again.

Cody's power is fun. I think it's the first "time travel" power I've seen. I mean Clockblocker does time freezing which is basically the same category but still, curious to see if we get any more level of time travel than this.

Marissa needs someone to make her some cookies and give her a place to hang out that isn't the house her mom lives in. I mean, I guess the current situation handles that but not how I meant.

I already liked Jess and now I like her even more. She's a cape geek! Wonderful.

Luke is interesting cause he was the only person besides Noelle who was close to Krouse at the start, but he's the first (well, aside from Cody I guess) to leave him. Really went through a character arc. Also Krouse lists Luke's "individual tragedy" as "not getting to fly" which is hysterical.

Oliver is a trans girl. Headcanon 100% established. It just fits so well. She just needs to find herself! And once she does and realizes what she actually wants to look like her power will get her there and won't need to keep adjusting! Right now Oliver's power is doing performative masculinity for them.

Noelle has had a bad time. God damn. She was having a bad time before everything happened and now she's having a very bad time. Damn. I had some guesses about her correct. Figured she was like, monstrous bottom half and normal top half. And figured touching her was bad. But I didn't foresee "touching her creates mutated evil clones". I'm sure that won't be a major problem in the next arc or two. I'm sure there won't be evil mutated clones of a bunch of capes to deal with . . .

I had long figured Travelers had Cauldron powers. It just fit with their power levels and such. I had also figured whatever Noelle's condition was, it was related to having a Cauldron power. I had a lot of guesses. None of them were "only drinks half a vial". For some reason I thought everyone would be too smart to do THAT! (I have no idea why I thought that.)

Current guess is Noelle is sort of in a never ending "trigger" event. Her power is constantly in the "building and gathering" phase and is not reaching the "lock things down" phase that normally happens (Bonesaw talked about this). Definitely a lot of other things it could be, this is just the best fit I've found so far.

This goes for Oliver too, which is why their power keeps changing how they look. Oliver just got lucky and has much less significant troubles compared to Noelle.

Got to see lots of new Case 53's. That was fun.

I expect to see more of Accord in the future. Just cause like, he gets smarter the more complex the problem. And the world is supposedly going to end due to (I think) the actions of higher dimensional entities. That is a very complex problem. And at the same time, he seems like the kind of person that might see "billions die" as a good way to reduce chaos. To simplify the world. Not saying that is what he will do, just that it seems a shame to not bring him up again.

I knew 40 people had died due to actions of the Travelers. I did not know Noelle had eaten them all! Because she tried to starve herself. I can see why it's important to keep her well fed. And why it's going to be an issue that there is no longer someone providing her with thousands of dollars of meat a week. No waste though, she has a very efficient digestive system.

The ending, with Trickster just staring at the bloodstain left behind by Coil's body while Genesis stares out at the ocean ... very good. I mean, really sucks for them, but it was a very evocative arc ending.

I wonder who won the Ransack tournament? One team disconnected because the building they were in disappeared into a space hole. I wonder what the rules are for that?

[theblacktigrr]

"Look around-we're one and the same. Same heart, same blood"

Clones are more than just biological experiments. We learn this through the course of the Clone Wars. They care for each other, civilians, their Jedis, and even droids. They have fallen in love, started families, lead normal lives. The clone bar is always packed with soldiers trying to forget the war, trying to have fun, be people instead of experiments. There are so many horrifying missions they live through. The brain worms on Coruscant -- the Rishi Station -- Umbara -- Christophsis; they are feel the pain. They know when each brother dies, whether they're there when it happens or they hear about it in the mess hall 12 rotations later. The battle continues in their minds, when they are trying to sleep, examining strategies, trying to find what could've been done differently, how they could've saved lives. It's not by choice, it is in their programing. Sure they're a step up from droids, with some free thinking abilities. But since their birth they have been conditioned for war, rapid growth cycles aside: they are children, they just don't know it. The Nightmares. How many battles did it take before the average clone woke up in a cold sweat. How many pilots hands shook when they got in the cockpit, images of their brothers seared into the viewport. How long did it take for the constant battle to erode their humanity until they're no better than droids. Every clone knows The Nightmares. The failed missions, the weight of your brothers cold body in your arms. I can only imagine how the chip felt in their minds, could they feel it at all times, a tiny nagging in the back of their head saying "you can't be trusted, you're not in control." A sense of doom hanging over their heads, knowing their destined for greatness, an extermination. How did it feel, Tup, Fives, when they were free? When for just a moment, there was silence in their minds. Just a moment their thoughts were clear.

My poor poor boys, suffering things the mind can't even comprehend. Anyways, I'm rewatching the clone wars if you didn't notice (:

[flyiingsly]

Smoke Screen

Square : Fire

Pairing : Wolffe x gn!jedi!reader

Warnings : Hurt/confort, fire (a lot), angst, mention of burns and injuries, medical equipment, unconsciousness, mention of death, slight mention of alcool, Wolffe deserves a hug (and reader too)

Wordcount : 5,8k

Summary : Your battalion is sent as reinforcements to the 104th in anticipation of a potential separatist attack, but things turn out worse than expected, leading you to risk your own life to save your beloved Commander from a terrible fate.

A/N : My fourteenth submission for the @clonexreaderbingo ! I reaaally got carried away with this one, I was so hooked while writing this, it felt like I was living the whole situation for real, that was such a thrilling feeling and so much fun ! I love our favorite grumpy Commander so much, I just wanted to give him a bit of hurt/comfort, because I think that he really deserves to be protected and comforted, enjoy ❤

Fire.

Fire was the most frightening element in your opinion, the one you had always dreaded the most.

Even if it was a situation you were often facing during missions, you couldn’t help but feel that kind of crippling terror washing over your brain every time you found yourself surrounded by flames.

It only meant destruction and suffering to you, and no matter how much training and conditioning you’ve been through to control it better already, it was still here, in a little corner of your mind.

You were a jedi, you weren’t supposed to experience fear, but this one, you never thought that one day you’ll be able to fully overcome it.

But that was until you burst into that collapsing building, shielded by the force, trying to find your Commander, and hoping that he had survived the outpost’s attack.

***

It all started when you arrived with Obi-Wan and the 212th on a little Outer Rim’s planet on which you’ve never been before, to give support and reinforcement to General Plo Koon. He needed more men on his current mission, and of course, you volunteered immediately. Master Plo was a dear friend of yours, and you were worried for him and his men.

You came to know the 104th very well, either by fighting along them, but also by all the time you were spending with the clones of the 212th, for between missions, the different battalions often shared their free time together.

You, in general, had developed a very close bond with the clones, so you were immediately adopted by the 104th as well. But there’s one particular person with who you happened to came along even better.

Commander Wolffe was a bit distant at first. He seemed like he always had a hard time trusting new people by what Rex and Cody told you. But if you had the perseverance to get to know him and to pass through the rude first impression he was giving, he could become one of the most trustworthy and kind person you’ve ever known.

What a chance, you were patient, and what you didn’t know at that time was that he got an eye on you since the first time he met you.

It was right after Plo Koon’s ship was attacked by General Grievous and his Malevolence.  You and Ahsoka insisted to go in search for Master Plo and what was left of his men, and despite the disapproval of Obi-Wan and Master Windu, Anakin and the two of you still decided to give it a try.

The unauthorized mission was a success, you arrived just in time to save them, and Wolffe was very moved by that first encounter. You were intriguing, you were kind and caring toward the clones like not so many other natborns were. You were gifted with healing abilities, and seeing you take care of his wounded men made him feel something he wasn’t used to truly experience. Safety.

You were in the middle of the space, somewhere none of you were supposed to be, chased by the most deadliest general of the Separatist army, his ship had been destroyed, he lost most of his men, he just nearly died and still wasn’t sure if he was going to survive that mission …. He should have felt doomed and frightened right now, but instead, he couldn’t help but feel safe with you on board, watching over him and his fellow troopers.

He stayed far from you for the next few times you two met again. He just looked at you from a distance, trying to hide his interest and fascination toward you the best he could. He knew very well he couldn’t afford himself the luxury of getting too attached to someone, especially to a jedi, for it will never be reciprocate anyway.

But one night, as you were with members of the 501st, 212th and 104th at the 79’, Rex and Cody became frustrated to see him burn to talk to you and never even try to do it. Of course you had tried to start a conversation with him a couple times already, and he always seemed to use his best energy to stay cold with you. You knew it was going to take time for him to open up to you, and so you were determined to give him as much as he’ll need.

Except that they weren’t hearing it that way.

It took Wolffe a bunch of drinks and a monstrous amount of courage, but pushed by his two brothers, he eventually gathered himself to go talk to you. It was a very funny moment, for when he came in front of you, you looked at him with a surprised look at first, before a wide smile appeared on your face, a smile that was screaming “finally”.

His heart melted, his cheeks started to blush badly and he found himself unable to say anything for a whole minute straight.

And that’s how it began between the two of you. As he was expecting it, he grew very fond of you, and you quickly became really close, never missing an occasion to spend some time together. You weren’t sharing that much missions or battlefields, for you were mostly assigned to the 212th, but you were always keeping in touch, no matter how far from each other you were sent.

But as the time passed by, something more than just friendship started to grow inside of him. It was something scary at first, because it was the very thing he was afraid of and wanted to avoid in the first place, and maybe the worse that could happen to someone in time of war.

He eventually ended up accepting it after realizing that he couldn’t get rid of it no matter how hard he tried. It never changed anything between you nonetheless, for he was doing his best to not let his new feelings ruin your already existent relationship, keeping it all for himself, hiding it at the bottom of his heart and promising to never tell you anything about it.

You were now way too important to him for that, and he knew that he could never handle to lose you or break that special bond. It was easier that way he thought, and the only thing that really mattered to him in the end was your safety. As long as you were safe and alive, it was enough for him.

But little did he know the he wasn’t the only one to feel the same.

***

The planet you were headed to was a highly valuable ally for the Republic, for it was hosting in its ground the biggest stock of a very rare and expensive kind of metal in the whole galaxy. That component was needed for the fabrication of a vast range of weapon’s and ship’s parts, and at the beginning of the war, its government managed to sign a contract with the Chancellor, allowing the GAR to be the one and only entity to use those resources, much to the disapproval of the separatists, of course.

In exchange, the Senate agreed to provide protection to the planet and its inhabitants against whatever would want to attack them, which was the reason why you were send here. The Senate Intelligence had reported that an attack from the separatist to steal its resources was planned a few days ahead, and that the troops already on place would never be enough to block it, so they urgently needed reinforcements.

But after a week, there was still no sign of any kind of attack. Nothing coming from the sky, no signs of spies amongst the population, not a single droid spotted anywhere. It was strange, for the source was a very trusted one and was usually always giving correct information, but both the Senate and the Order were starting to think about sending the reinforcements back to Coruscant. Maybe it really was just a false alarm after all.

Something was off about this whole situation, and you weren’t the only one thinking it. Both Master Plo and Obi-Wan were trying to convince the Senate to let your battalion stay longer, just to make sure that everything was really alright. Something felt wrong here, you could feel it, but without really explaining why, like if something was happening right under your nose, in the shadows.

One particular place on this planet was giving you a disturbing feeling : an old abandoned mine on the outskirt of the capital city. It was once one of the biggest of the area, and that was why the city had been built near. It wasn’t used anymore, because the deposit had been drained long ago, and the whole mining structures and tunnels had become unstable and dangerous, so its access was now completely forbidden.

You knew you needed to go investigate that mine, even Master Plo was starting to agree with you on that. Nobody had thought about it before because it was supposed to be abandoned, and most importantly, it wasn’t seen as a menace, since the attack was mostly awaited from the sky. So after successful negotiations with the Senate to get a couple more day on site, you and Obi-Wan decided to go visit it and see what you could find there.

And of course, your instinct was right all along.

It didn’t take you long to find some traces of recent mining activities and to bump into a bunch of mining droids busy extracting the few remaining metal from the walls of its many caves. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing at first. You had absolutely no idea how and since when the separatists have been secretly exploiting that place, and most importantly, how they managed to reach the planet without being caught. It was impressive and frightening at the same time.

You tried to get out of here without drawing attention on you, but you got noticed by a probe droid on your way out. You quickly destroyed it and decided to take a closer look at it while Obi-Wan was calling the outpost to inform them of your discovery.

Probes droids were too heavy to be transported easily, but you still wanted to analyze it to maybe get a chance to find information on its sender.

When you plugged your datapad to its system, you realized that it had already given your position away and managed to download the coordinates to where the message had been sent. But something else caught your eyes. You noticed that in addition of your position, another message had been sent by the probe before it was taken down.

When the transcription of this second message appeared on your screen, the words made your blood curdle.

“Republic found us, activate outpost bomb.”

You let out a gasp of horror, your datapad nearly falling from your hands.

“We need to go back, now !” you yelled at Obi-Wan, unplugging your datapad in a hurry.

“(y/n), what did you saw ?” he asked worriedly.

“The probe sent a message with the order to “activate the outpost bomb”, they must have known that we were going to find them someday and booby trapped the outpost in anticipation, probably to cut its communications and prevent anyone from stopping their little traffic. Our troops are in danger, we need to make them get out of the building right now !”

You started to run as fast as possible toward the entrance of the mine, closely followed by your fellow jedi who was frantically trying to call his Commander again.

“Cody, we have been fooled, the outpost is compromised, the separatists have been hiding underground all along !” Obi Wan shouted through his commlink as soon as he heard his voice pick up the call.

“What ? How ?” the clone answered in a surprised tone.

“Please, we don’t have time to explain more, tell Wolffe and Master Plo to gather all of your men, you need to evacuate the place, now, please !” You added, out of breath.

“Copy that !”

The communication cut. The only thing left to do now was to pray for them to be able to escape on time.

A couple minutes later, as you were coming closer from the building, the sound of an explosion loudly ringed out, making the ground violently shake under your feet, stopping you in your tracks and making you lose your balance, nearly falling down.

“Oh kriff, no !” you screamed, instantly understanding what had just happened.

It was too late.

A wave of panic overwhelmed your body, and you soon started to run with even more determination. You were so fast that Obi-Wan could barely keep your pace.

When you finally got the outpost at eyes sight, you immediately noticed Master Plo and Cody, gathered with men from both of their battalions, standing far enough to be safe from the ferocious and high flames that where now eating what was remaining of the structure.

The two superior floors were completely destroyed and collapsed, only the ground floor was still standing, but it was drowned under a massive amount of scrapped metal, concrete and shattered glass.

“Are you okay ?” you desperately let out at them as soon as you were close enough for them to hear you.

“Yeah, it’s okay, thanks to you, we could never have find out without your warning.” The commander answered.

“Did everybody escaped ? Are all of your men safe ?” you frantically asked, still in complete shock and looking around you, counting the troops before they can ever answer your question.

“Wait, someone’s missing …” you suddenly realized, “Where … Where is Wolffe ?” your voice was filled with concern, and you couldn’t even try to hide it as another wave of panic violently hit you.

 “He didn’t make it …”

“Wh .. What ?” you mumbled, feeling your whole body starting to shake nervously.

“He was still inside when the explosion happened, he wanted to make sure that everyone was outside, he didn’t want to leave anyone behind, but … He didn’t pass the door ... Then the building collapsed and the flames were fast to spread, we couldn’t do anything ...”

As soon as you heard these words, you felt like the whole world was crumbling around you. It was like if someone has hit you right in the chest, so strongly that your heart had just stopped beating. Your head started to spin and for a moment you thought that you were about to faint. But you were perfectly motionless, eyes staring into space, completely paralyzed.

“(Y/n), are you ok ?”

Cody’s voice was like an electroshock pulling you out of your thought and back to reality. It took you a few eyes blinks to be able to see clearly again, but without a warning you started to run toward the building. Instantly understanding what you were trying to do, Obi-Wan stopped you in your tracks, using the force against you to lift you up, making your feet leave their contact with the ground.

“(Y/n), it’s too late, you can’t do anything for him now, you have to let it go !”

You were trying to resist, but he was more powerful than you. But you just couldn’t let that happen, you just couldn’t stay here and watch the whole edifice burn to the ground without even trying to do something to rescue him, even if it meant risking your own life in the process. He meant too much to you for you to just leave him here to die alone.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm down and concentrate, and then, gathering all of your strength, you turned back to face the jedi despite all the power unleashed against you.

“I’m sorry Obi-Wan, I just can’t do that.”

Without a warning, you threw the most powerful force wave you had ever created in his direction, sending him flying away. You fall flat in the dirt from the released pressure but get up on your feet quickly. No one could have ever stopped you from doing it, and everyone perfectly knew that there was no point on trying, for you would not let anyone stand in your way.

When you arrived right in front of the outpost, you managed to find the former main entrance. The door was gone, and at its place was now a gaping hole. You took another deep breath, and, collecting your energy once again, you created a force shield around before entering the blazing inferno.

The heat was already hard to bear on the outside, but now that you were inside, even with your shield, it was barely tolerable. You had absolutely no visibility, for the smoke and the flames had took the whole space, making it impossible to distinguish anything ahead from a few feet away. In a desperate attempt to locate Wolffe, you yelled his name at the top of your lungs, without, obviously, getting any answer.

You tried to stay calm, thinking about what Cody just told you. He was right behind them when they escaped, so he shouldn’t be that far from the entrance. You weren’t able to see anything, so you decided to close your eyes and focus on what force signatures you could feel around you. Soon, you started to perceive a distant and faint pulse. Something was still living under this blaze, and even if it seemed weak, it was here nonetheless.

With your instinct guiding you, you started to move forward, stepping over a few massive concrete obstacles. The heat was making you sweat abundantly under your robes, and you had a hard time keeping your eyes opened.

You tried to call his name again, despite knowing that nobody was going to call back. You continued to move forward, the presence was getting nearer, but the path to reach it seemed never ending. You had only been here for a very short amount of time, but it felt like light years in these conditions.

As you made a turn to avoid a big concrete wall part that had felt through the ceiling, you let out a gasp as you saw a human looking shape laying on the floor.

“Wolffe !” you screamed, quickening your pace to reach him faster.

As you were getting closer, the shape became more and more recognizable. You were right, it was a human form, and it was armored. Despite the yellowish atmosphere and the messed up colors, you still were able to catch a glimpse of the grey of his armor paint, as well as the special 104th design he was wearing on his spaulder. It was him, there was no doubt about that.

You closed the distance separating the two of you quickly, creating yourself a way through the flames with the help of the force.

“Wolffe …” you breathed out, falling on your knees next to him when you finally reached him, a lump growing in your throat. You knew that there was no time to check on him right here and right now, the absolute priority was to extract him from that hell. He was still wearing his helmet on, and even if you were dying to remove it to see his face and check his breath, you knew you couldn’t.

Maintaining a force shield around you was exhausting, but you still managed to find enough strength to lift him from the ground in your arms, wrapping them around his legs and back. But as soon as your hands came in contact with his armor, you felt the metal’s heat burning your palms and irradiating your arms through your robe’s sleeves. You hissed in pain and clenched your jaws but didn’t let go, the adrenaline helping you ignore it.

You stood up quickly despite that he was heavier than you, just in time to dodge a chunk of concrete falling from the ceiling. You quickly locate the door from where you came in and rushed toward it, praying that your eyes hadn’t fooled you on this time. Your head started to hurt and your vision to blur, it became harder and harder to breathe, and the heat was less and less bearable. Your heart was pounding so fast in your chest that it felt like it was about to explode, and you knew that soon, your body will not be able to take it anymore. Fortunately, you were on the right way, getting closer and closer to the escape.

A few steps away from the exit, you heard a loud crack noise coming from above you, just after realizing that a pile a debris was now baring the path. What was left of the first floor was probably going to fall on you in the next seconds, and in a desperate move, you broke your force shield and directed all of your energy toward the entrance, blowing the obstacles toward the outside to clear the way. Right after, you were out in the fresh air without even remembering how you made it.

Your pace accelerated, and you were now running frantically toward the rest of the battalion, putting as much distance as possible between you and the collapsing building

As you were getting closer to them, you heard someone scream something to the other, and suddenly everyone turned out from what they were doing to look at you. All of yours and Master Plo’s men saw you run toward the blaze and disappeared into it, and they were all waiting for your return in concern.

When you arrived at their level and stopped, you were panting and sweating like never before, and you felt like if you were chocking. The jedi immediately came toward you, asking you if you were alright, but you barely paid attention to them, too busy worrying about the man you were carrying. The atmosphere became heavy and tensed when the Wolfpack realized that their commander was completely still and not moving at all.

“I need a medic, please, can someone help me ?” you burst as you lowered down to gently lay him on the ground, drained and barely standing on your feet anymore, your throat still hurting and your voice harsh from inhaling too much smoke.

An agitation took over the men gathered around you and some of them rushed to find a medic. An anxious silence felt on the group as you bend over Wolffe and started to cautiously remove his helmet. Nobody dared to say a world, they all seemed to hold their breath, even the jedi stayed quiet. Your heart was still beating fast, but not from your run this time. You were afraid of what you could find under that bucket, and it skipped a bit when you saw his face. He was looking just like if he was asleep, almost too peaceful despite what he had just been through.

You checked his breath and his pulse, and a heavy sigh of relief escaped you when you realized that they hadn’t stopped.

“It’s ok, he’s alive” you quietly told Master Plo, who was crouched next to you, without taking your eyes off of the clone.

“Thanks to you, he was doomed without your help, you surely were his guardian angel on that one, (Y/n), once again.”

His last words made your head raise to look at him with surprise. It was something Wolffe once told you, when you were at his bedside after Ventress ripped his eye off. He told you how lucky he was that you had found him on time before she had the chance to finish him, and that you brought him back to the base when someone else would have probably left him behind to die.

He called you his guardian angel, and those words made your heart burst. That day, you promised him that you will never abandon him no matter what could happen.

Your gazes met, and you stayed like that for a moment, staring at each other. That look the Kel Dor gave you was powerfully meaningful, you knew he was trying to tell you something, but you couldn’t exactly understand what. Then suddenly, you heard his voice ringing into your head, out of nowhere.

“I know I shouldn’t tell you that, but I think that you two will need to seriously discuss those feelings after all of this.”

Your eyes widen in surprise. Did a Jedi Master just suggested you to confess your feelings to someone ? A ton of things came swirling in your mind at his words. How did he knew ? Were you not hiding it well enough ? Did he felt it through the force ?

Of course, he knew, he was one of the closest person to Wolffe along with you, and even if you had been trying your best to ignore and repress your feelings, maybe just the way you cared for each other and spent so much time together was making it obvious.

You didn’t get more time to think about it, as you caught a glimpse of three medics running toward you from the corner of your eyes. You raised your head to look at them, breaking the eye contact with Plo, but his voice came to your mind once again.

“He really is attached to you, you know.”

“I know” you whispered in response, low enough so Obi-Wan, who was standing next to you, could not hear it, “I am, too …”

The medics were by your side in no time, and you moved aside to give them some space to work. Two of them checked on the commander, while the third was standing next to a stretcher he brought.

“General, are you ok ?” he asked you.

“Yeah, just a bit dizzy from the smoke, I feel like my lungs are full of ashes … But I’ll be alright.” You absent mindlessly answered, raising a hand to your face to swept the sweat still running on your forehead.

 “General, your hands, they’re burned !” he suddenly exclaimed with concern.

It was only at that moment that you realized how badly your skin had been burned and was hurting. Suddenly, you felt all the heavy weight of pressure and stress being lifted from your shoulders. A violent shiver came running through your spine despite the heat waves that were still striking at you, making you realized that you didn’t even get rid of your half consumed robes. You felt even more worn out, and all you were able to do was to stare at him with a vacant look, completely unable to react or speak anymore.

What happened next was so fast that you barely realized it, and you completely lost track of time.

Wolffe was placed on the stretcher and hooked to a respirator, for his lungs had been critically exposed to smoke. Then the medics removed his armor to examine the extent of his wounds. It was mostly burns, but fortunately not severe ones. They told you that a couple of bacta patches will be enough to treat them. You, too, were sat on a stretcher and gave a respirator, as well as a couples bacta patches for your hands and forearms.

 Soon after, reinforcement ships arrived to evacuate everyone and take you far from that hell of a planet. There was no point in staying here now that the outpost as well as all of the equipment had been completely destroyed. Wolffe’s state was stabilized, but he was still unconscious when you came onboard. You stayed close to him all the way back to Coruscant, hoping for him to wake up soon.

***

It took him a couple more hours after landing on Coruscant and being transferred to the GAR med bay to emerge from his coma. You stood by his side the whole time, waiting patiently for him to regain consciousness. You were exhausted, but you couldn’t allow yourself to fall asleep, not wanting to miss the moment when he’ll open his eyes.

When he finally did, he looked all around him in confusion, not understanding why and how he ended up here. He was still wearing a respirator, and run his hands through it, trying to figure out what was that thing attached to his face. Then he stared at his arms, to which some electrodes plugged to a monitor and some bacta patches were stuck, before painfully trying to sit up straight. When he noticed your presence, his eyes started to sparkles and his face instantly enlightened.

“(Y/n) …” he whispered with a weak voice.

“Hey …” you whispered back with a relieved smile.

“What, what happened ? Why am I here?”

“Well, you got trapped in the fire back at the outpost, when helping our troops to get out. You fell unconscious, so we had to extract you from the building … But you’re safe now, back on Coruscant. The medics said that your burns were only superficial. The patches will heal them in no time !”

“I barely remember it … I just remember the explosion, and that I gathered my men to evacuate, the fire was spreading so fast … But after that, nothing … How are the other ? Are they safe ? I did my best to lead them outside but …” he sighed, his brows furrowing and his face tensing worriedly.

“They’re fine, all of them, thanks to you. Don’t worry, you did the best thing you could have done for them. And you, how do you feel now ?”

“Strange honestly, but not so bad. I can feel the burns, it hurts, but it’s still bearable. I just feel awfully tired … And thirsty.”

“Great”, you chuckled, handing him a glass of water that was settled on his bed table, “You’ll feel better soon, you just need to rest for now.”

He took the glass and drank it in one gulp, quickly putting his oxygen mask back in place right after, as he was starting to cough and struggle to breath without it.

He was lost in thoughts, replaying his memories in his mind, when he noticed your hands and arms entirely bandaged, only leaving the tips of some of your fingers exposed.

“Wait, were you hurt ? Are you ok ? What happened ?” he let out with an expression of deep concern.

You lowered your head at his words, hesitant to tell him the truth, suddenly feeling irrationally embarrassed and self-conscious.

“(Y/n) ? Are you okay ?”

“It … It happened when I pulled you out of the building after you fell unconscious … The metal of your armor was very hot because of the fire … But that’s okay, I’m fine, its already nearly healed !” you said quietly, smiling shyly and trying to be as reassuring as possible.

“You did what ?” he exclaimed with widening eyes.

“I … get back inside the building to found you when they told me that you didn’t get out on time …”

You both stayed silent for a moment, Wolffe trying to process what he had just heard.

“Why did you do that ? You could have been killed …” his voice was trembling, and you weren’t sure if he was reprimanding you or if he was just very surprised and worried.

“I know, but I wasn’t thinking about it at this moment, I was only thinking about you … I told you that I’ll always be here to watch your back, remember ? I just couldn’t leave you behind you know, I knew that you were still alive, I could feel it through the Force, I just couldn’t leave you here to die, that wasn’t even an option …”

His expression softened, you were right, you promised, and he knew that you were sincere about it, but he could never have imagined that you’ll literally jump into fire for him. He was so moved by your words that he found himself unable to refrain the words that were swirling over and over again and flashing in capital letters to his mind to escape from his mouth.

“I love you, (Y/n) …” he breathed out, his gaze lost on you.

It was your turn to stare at him with a confused expression.

“Sorry, what ?” you mumbled, not sure if you had just dreamed that or not.

“I love you, (Y/n).” he repeated, a bit louder, “I should have told you that before but … I wasn’t courageous enough to do it. But now I just need you to know, because maybe next time I will not be that lucky to have you by my side to save me, and I don’t want to die without having had the chance to tell it to you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and now I owe you my life … You truly are my guardian angel, and I love you more than anything in this world.”

You felt your eyes becoming watery, and without detaching them from him, you moved from your chair to the edge of his bed, sitting close to him, and carefully wrapped your arms around his body, before burying your face in the crook of his neck.

His skin was warm as if it was still soaked with the fire’s heat. You completely melted as he snuggles against you, his own arms encircling you, and one of his hand settled on your head, softly running its fingers through your hair.

“I don’t want to think about the eventuality of losing you …”, you muttered in his ear, voice filled with emotion, “I Just want you to know that I’ll do whatever I can to protect you, I can’t express how important you are to me, I just know that I could never live in a world where you’re not by my side anymore … I love you too, and I just want to stay your guardian angel for as long as possible …”

You felt his embrace around you tighten a bit, and you hear him sighed in relief through his respirator.

“Thank you” he muttered back, his own eyes starting to be submerged with tears, “I’ll do my best to stay with you as long as I can then, I promise you, mesh’la, I just want to be with you.”

After a moment, you let go of his neck and planted a soft kiss on his forehead. He closed his eyes and you felt him shivered under your lips, his cheeks turning a bright tone of red.

“I wish I could take that mask off to kiss you, but I’m afraid I might suffocate again if I try too …” he met out with disappointment.

“Don’t worry about that” you giggled, “we’ll have plenty of time to catch it up when you’ll get better.”

“I can’t wait for it”, he whispered, a fond smile instantly appearing on his face, before pulling in for another gentle and long-awaited hug.

[lightwise]

TBB finale thought below:

I’ve been wondering the last few days whether or not the boys were able to go back and get their helmets before leaving Tantiss. I’m assuming that they were taken off and put somewhere in the conditioning room that Hemlock had them in. Unless I’m forgetting something, I don’t think we see them with them again, so it could be 50/50 on whether they were able to grab them before departing for Pabu on the shuttle.

But, inspired by this post I read earlier today, I just imagined a really beautiful scene that they could have given us in the finale. Hunter, Crosshair, and Wrecker all ready to lay aside their identity as soldiers, hanging up their armor, officially putting their old identities as clone force 99 behind them, and accepting their lives as regular people going forward.

They go to the Archium, where Omega had laid Tech’s goggles and Lula. She takes Lula back off the shelf, both because Wrecker is here and because she wants the comfort of her childhood stuffed animal, reclaiming her ability to just be a kid again, even though she has grown past that childhood in capability and demeanor.

Next to Tech’s goggles, Wrecker carefully lays his helmet, Hunter his, and then Crosshair gingerly holds his up and gazes one last time at the chalked reticule through which he’s perceived so much of the world. He sets his helmet down gently on the other side of Hunter’s. All stripped and black, just like their first mission. A memorial and homage to who they were, just like Crosshair arranged Mayday and his squad’s helmets. A releasing of the identities given to them, to allow them to forge identities unique to them alone. Clone Force 99, together forever, having accomplished their last mission, and never forgotten.

[just-here-with-my-thoughts]

The Bad Batch Short Story Collection

Assorted short stories written in response to prompt challenges. Titles are the prompts used. Almost all under 2k word count.

I've arranged this list in 'chronological order' ie/ Cadets -> S1 -> S2 -> S3. All links are to the Tumblr versions of the stories. Prefer to read the collection on AO3? It'll be in the order that prompts were released, but you can find it Here.

Looking for longer stories? To check out the round-up of my other fics, Click Here :)

Cadet Batch - as featured in my WIP fic 'Pieces Of The People We Love'

Unresponsive Tech loses his first batchmate. Lightning Strike Struggling with how a Kaminoan lightning storm affects his enhanced senses, a young enhanced clone cadet makes an unexpected friend. Injured / Lula Alone and recovering from an injury that might lead to his decommissioning, Wrecker gets an unexpected visitor, and an unexpected friend. Helpless Experimental Unit 99 are on a training exercise and struggling to shake down with their new member, CT-9931 ‘Hunter’. Blood-Stained Tiles / Ice Pack Wrecker finds Hunter in the freshers nursing a split lip. Getting a Haircut / Cadets / "Don't avoid the question" The enhanced cadets discuss the state of their newest addition's hair. Victim Blaming Crosshair is severe and unyielding when it comes to dealing with a headlice infestation.

TCW Era

"Help Them" / Compelling Voice Hunter is injured, but orders Crosshair to continue with the mission. "It's just a scratch" Hunter can still be a little shit, even when he's being a good brother.

S1

Obedience / Conditioning Imperial Officers and Kaminoans discuss enhancing the strength of Crosshair’s control chip. Crosshair deals with the effects of his chip enhancement. Suffering in Silence Omega wants to play, but all Wrecker wants is rest. Found Footage Tech discovers an old home video from their cadet days. Solitary Confinement After being captured on Daro, Hunter waits in the holding cell for Crosshair to come and confront him. "I love you" / Sole Survivor Crosshair considers many things.

S2

Too Weak To Move / Bundled Up In Blankets The Batch are camped out in Cid's Parlour in Ord Mantell, recuperating from the flu. Presumed Dead Hunter and Echo argue about the future. “I didn’t think I would get this far.” Tech and Phee debate the merits of lab-grown versus natural. Battle Scars Phee admires Tech's battle scars, prompting a comparison with his brothers. Left for Dead Hemlock recovers Tech's goggles on Eriadu. "No... not like this" Hunter and Phee receive some unwelcome news. Not Allowed To Die Tech still has a mission to complete.

Pre-S3

Time Loop Hunter feels trapped in an endless loop after losing Omega.

Post-S3

Water Gun Fight / "It's not what you think" The children of Pabu have a water gun fight "Get out of my room!" / "You're a bad liar" Teenage girl sleepovers should not be interrupted by well-meaning fathers. Human Weapon aka The Birthday Cake Fic Omega wants to celebrate her friend's birthday, and finds out Crosshair's thoughts on the subject. "Need a hand?" Crosshair struggles to manage a task one-handed. Wrecker is there to support him. "Forget I asked" Crosshair tells Hunter he wants to join the Resistance Light in the Darkness Crosshair considers his motivation. Comfort Zone Hunter is restless, and Shep invites him to take a walk. “Just when were you planning on telling us that?” Wrecker discovers that Hunter has been learning a new skill. “Stop touching me!” - “I’m not touching you!” After a lifetime fearing the roiling ocean dark of Kamino, Fives has his first encounter with the shallow, tropical sea of Pabu “Hold still.” / “Yeah, kid, we’re fine.” Mayday is relaxing on a pristine beach with a smoothie, and doesn't want to be bothered. But the beach is never free of drama. "You really think you're going without me? Not going to happen." Omega departs Pabu with an unexpected passenger

[fandom-shitposter]

Tech logic

I appreciate that fandom doesn’t always lend itself well towards logic, emotions run high and get in the way of detached thought, but it’s overdue in this case

When Tech chose to fall he was on Eriadu, but that’s not a location under Hemlock’s control. We know this because Tarkin has a good bitch at him when he turns up late for the meeting there

Hemlock may have had Tech’s goggles in his possession later on, but it wouldn’t have been *his* people who went looking around the site of the monorail collapse, it would have been Tarkin’s

Tarkin makes it perfectly clear that he wouldn’t piss down Hemlock’s throat if his lungs were on fire, so he certainly wouldn’t have handed him anything that he thought he might have been able to gain any sort of advantage from, regardless of the condition it was in

So he gets the smashed up goggles and a ‘that was all we could salvage, such a shame. Anyway’ and gets packed off back to Tantiss

Not only does Tarkin dislike Hemlock but he couldn’t care less for the project he’s working on, he’s solely focused on his own work and considers Hemlock’s an unnecessary drain on the limited funding available

That doesn’t help to clear up where Tech is now, but he was never in Hemlock’s possession

***

But if Hemlock didn’t have Tech how come CX-2 used the same words and cadence when he talked?

For the same reason so many of the Knights of Ren background CX units had so many of Tech’s design features, with goggles, visors, and helmet shaping repeating amongst the crowd

Distraction and fan baiting, for the sadistic joy of stringing people along until the last possible moment and then spitting in your eye. To make you think that Tech is gone with zero hope of ever returning. To try to put off any fans who've shown themselves to be getting close to working it all out

But CX-2 sounded like Tech for the exact same reason Tech sounds like Tech. Because that’s the way he'd been programmed to speak. Which is also the reason Omega speaks with a space NZ accent

Just because all of the focus on reprogramming clones is put on Crosshair, the CX units, and Hunter (briefly) doesn’t mean it doesn’t go back much much further than that, back to before we ever met CF99. Hemlock is using the technology and data the Empire took from Kamino. The progress on his projects only stalls once Nala Se stops assisting him

Experimental Clone Force 99. Emphasis on the Experimental. Just because they give us a few details about one aspect of that work doesn’t mean they told us everything

Just like Hemlock juggling multiple projects on Tantiss, Nala Se was doing the same thing under Kamino, with her own female clone medical assistant by her side. And on Bora Vio before that

***

This show has taken scenes from multiple other franchises all the way back to the Clone Wars arc, but what it uses most of all is The Lord of the Rings & The Hobbit

They keep repeating an overhead circle motif – a ring or a set of concentric rings. Coming back to it more and more often the closer to the end we get. It even appears as a design on the shoulder of a street seller on Pabu in the finale

CF99 dying with Tech is the SW equivalent to the Fellowship of the Ring being broken. They’re no longer together but the quest goes on regardless. Just with a focus on some of the other characters and in a show we won't be supposed to think is related to Tech because it isn’t a clone centric show

Not only is Tech still vital to the resolution of the bigger story, but there’s still so much plot that's been set up and then left hanging, and they continued to set up new things to come back to later on right up to the finale episode so it’s clear that this story is far from over

There may not be any more clone based shows, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be shows with clones in them. Like Rebels. That wasn’t clone centric, but they were still a key part of the overall story

[voidartisan]

Rebel Dashboard Simulator

🦎 lekkuhaver

😎 free-dantooine-deactivated-7976-994-5

this galaxy is so humancentric it hurts. "humanoid" this "near-human" that. don't care if they're the most abundant species overall they make up less than forty percent of sentient species. i hope you all realize how kriffing stupid you sound

🙍 steela-gerrera-lives Follow

i mean op makes a good point but aren't they also an order 66 apologist???

😎 free-dantooine-deactivated-7976-994-5

when will you idiots realize the Jedi were created to uphold the status quo. they were no better than stormtroopers and the galaxy is better off without them. fks

🚀 podracing-analyst Follow

the Jedi were a religious order???? not law enforcement???? stop spreading misinformation if you want ppl to take you seriously

the Jedi did have powers of arrest but that was because they were diplomats and bodyguards. they were arresting assassins, corrupt officials, mercenaries, slavers and crime bosses (y'know, people who were actually actively upholding and profiting off of oppressive social conditions), not shoplifters or protestors. the only reason that they came under Senate authority in the first place was because they were actively attempting to prevent themselves from becoming too powerful.

they were also second-class citizens in many ways (unpaid for their labor, no rep in the Senate despite depending on it for support, etc). stop slandering minority religious groups.

🦎 lekkuhaver

also here to say that even if the Jedi were law enforcement, the purge was still a genocide. they had centuries (if not millennia) of history, art, religious practice, and other culture that's just been completely erased. not to mention that literal CHILDREN were slaughtered during knightfall. kids incapable of what you're attributing to them.

#i mean I pretty much agree with the first point being a twi'lek myself #but can we stop misrepresenting the Jedi for two minutes??? #also don't go in the notes it's a bloodbath in there #tw:genocide #tw:child death #discourse tag #lekki talks

(24.3k notes)

🎨 spectre-spraypaint

thinking about dyeing my hair again but there are too many options

(98 notes)

🎨 spectre-spraypaint

😺 jabba-calrissian Follow

help how do I spumblr

🎨 spectre-spraypaint

this my little brother btw. you should welcome him with your bestworst anon hate

(2 notes)

🐈‍⬛ tooka-pics-daily

#tooka #lothcat #cute #photography

(12 notes)

🏔 queenofthehills

🏳‍🌈 gay-holofilm-society Follow

idk maybe i've been archiving suppressed clone wars records for too long. but. is it just me or is this shot of the Jedi general of the 3rd systems army kinda 👀

🌛 gungan-conspiracy Follow

holy force are there rebels young enough to not know who kriffing. obi-wan kenobi is

🎤 rebotastic Follow

great maker this image is giving me flashbacks to the jedi rpf discourse

🤖 protocol-droid-rebellion Follow

remember when that one spiktoker got investigated by the GAR during the clone wars for apparently including part of a classified holovid in one of their edits? those were the days

🧑‍🎤 myastromechromance Follow

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

#FRRRRR #i still remember when rpf with him got popular #all of stewjonblr was flooded with asks about pet names in "stewjonian" #as if there's just one language and clan kenobi isn't incredibly large #encompassing multiple dialects #like girl even if i wanted to help you i couldn't #are u even sure he speaks his native language anymore. he was inducted as a toddler #anyway its too bad I got sick of his face seeing as he's a planetary treasure and all

(13.2k notes)

🥫 redrationbars

🔫 shabuir Follow

does anyone even like jogan fruit tho

🐐 tauntaunonhoth Follow

hey op who did you have to kill for that url

#mando heritage post #queue

(346.9k notes)

⚔ snips-in-space

ngl I totally forgot this account existed

(26.9k notes)

🦎 lekkuhaver

🌆 coruscant-official Follow

Don't forget to visit the lower levels during your time with us! The garbage piles and casual violence due complete neglect by the planetary government are part of the charm!

(92 notes)

🥫 redrationbars

hey so what's up with this empire thing

#outer rim posting #this is satire to be clear

(45 notes)

🖋 set-vere-red-string

people on here really need to learn how to use a readmore link. I don't want to have to scroll past your entire bail organa x reader fic to find posts about the man's politics

(3 notes)

👬 clone-posting-central

☄ venator-class-hyperfixation Follow

if I didn't want clones fraternizing with civilians then I simply would not clone the hottest man in the galaxy. rip to the kaminoans but i'm different

🌄 tatooine-sunsets Follow

hey bez not to kill the joke but. do you know what happened to kamino

☄ venator-class-hyperfixation Follow

what do you mean. what. what happened

🪙 keepingupwiththepapanoidas Follow

investing at twenty notes

☄ venator-class-hyperfixation Follow

DONT DO THIS TO ME I DIDJHNT KNOWKJ

#we are pretty good looking huh :)

(27.5k notes)

🙈 bytenebrousthiscantbehappening

🌌 hyperdrive-engaged Follow

look. i've worked in a shipyard for a long time. i've seen a lot of stuff. but what the KARK is this

Read more

🔎 identifying-starships-in-posts Follow

looks like a YT-1300 light freighter. older correllian model, highly prized but not super common. it does have some uhhh interesting mods

#i LOVE yt-1300s #too bad you have to be either rich or a chronic gambler to get one these days

(62 notes)

🖋 set-vere-red-string

🧑‍🎤 myastromechromance Follow

anyone else seen this recording of palaptine tripping over his own robes yet

🏵 rebel-scum Follow

omf no that's hilarious

📕 hero-with-a-lot-of-fears Follow

old prune had it coming

#q

(16.5k notes)