#I think this is the latest ive been up in a few months honestly

[raventhekittycat]

okay it's 2:48. Should I sleep and finish the last ep tomorrow with special party drinks for Rum or should I push ahead?

[eilinelsghost]

hi! i hope its ok to send this as an ask instead of dming. i get shy about dms so i tend to default to asks. as ive said a few times here already, ive loved your beor/finrod series so much. i think yours is one of the best finrods i've ever read. im not sure if youre a fic reader too or primarily a writer, but i wondered whether youd read chthonions anastasis or the harrowing? you both write such a good and gentle finrod that i was curious if you knew each other or had similar inspiration? if you havent, i highly recommend it if you (obviously) like finrod! they are such beautiful and thought-provoking fics and ive really enjoyed how they explore the philosophical implications of all these things - which is another thing that made me think of you because thats something that really draws me to your fics too. you both dig into that in such perceptive and interesting ways. anyway, i read lost and found that they posted today and several things in that reminded me of your finrod (and yours of theirs) and i wanted to recommend it if you werent already familiar with their stuff. anyway im sorry if this is a weird ask to send! thanks so much for sharing your writing with all of us. its been a really bright spot in this yearr for me so far!

Hello! No, this wasn't weird to say, don't worry. (And please don't be shy about dms either if you prefer those!) I'm going to tag @chthonion in this reply because I don't want to talk about their fic without them being looped in - and also to be sure they see your compliments of their writing. :)

No, we don't know each other, so it isn't a gentle-Finrod-by-osmosis deal 😂 I read Anastasis a few months back and you're right - I really enjoyed the connection of Finrod, Frodo, and Celebrimbor's various traumas. It had never occurred to me to link those three characters together with their shared suffering and that was so fascinating to see that connection really delved into. (As a side note, I could honestly read an entire series that is just Finrod, Frodo, and Celebrimbor drinking together haha. That scene was delightful and really stuck with me.) I confess I have not done a good job keeping up with The Harrowing, but that's just because Silvergifting isn't really one of my primary draws ship-wise. I've heard really great things about it from a lot of people in the fandom!

Thanks so much for reccing their latest fic - that description looks really fascinating and has me very curious.

And thank you so much for all the kind things you've said in this - both about my own writing and about chthonion's. It's always such an encouragement as a writer to hear that what we've made has brought joy or fascination or a new facet of interpretation for those who read it. Honestly that's the dream! Thank you for saying all of that - it means a lot to hear it!

[dira333]

Unwavering V - Ibiki x Reader

this is for @snuggleboots

Warnings: Reader is dealing with psychological aspects of her work and she's having trouble with alcoholism. Please do not read if this triggers you.

Masterlist - Part IV

Next chapter will be the finale from Ibiki's point of view!

Meet with the Hokage. Write a report.

Check in on the two low-level thugs Chouza and Inoichi brought in. 

Write a report about that interrogation.

Deliver the report to the Hokage and set up a strategy to bring in the bigger fish.

Keep perfectly calm when the Hokage decides that Ibiki should lead the extraction team.

“I could be of help as well.” You offer. 

“You’ve just come back from your last mission,” The Sandaime shoots you down, “Besides, word of you might have traveled.”

You have no real reason why Ibiki shouldn’t go on that mission. Or why you should go with him, other than the fact that you don’t want to stay back alone. 

If you could at least have a minute alone with him, look into his eyes and see that he’s still thinking the same of you even after a mission like this, it would be okay, but he hadn’t been in the office when you came in and he’s probably going to leave for this mission tonight at the latest.

When Ibiki does come around, you can tell he’s ready to leave. 

His face is set in stone as he listens to the reports. You probably know him the best of everyone in this room but even you can’t tell what he’s thinking. Does he want to leave right away? Would he prefer to push the mission back a bit to gather more information?

It’s a risky move but you’ve been after this particular drug cartel for months now and while going in with this little information might leave you with a few less Shinobi on your side, waiting could risk them slipping away yet again.

“I agree.” Ibiki’s voice sounds nothing out of the ordinary. It’s both soothing and unsettling. 

“I’d prefer it if we had one Yamanaka on our team, but their presence is a greater risk than benefit in this situation. If we could get Kurenai on our team as well as Kakashi, we could get in and out without much notice. I doubt they’re expecting Genjutsu experts to infiltrate them.”

The Sandaime nods. “That’s an excellent idea. Kakashi isn’t available for a mission, but I’ll leave you with Kurenai and Asuma as well as Shibi. You’re leaving in half an hour.”

You’re dismissed from the Sandaime’s office.

Your thoughts drown in the mumbling around you. Inoichi and Chouza are discussing going out for dinner later. One of the Hokage’s assistants mumbles as he writes down the mission assignments. Even the Hokage is whispering something to himself.

.

“Y/N.” Ibiki’s voice cuts through the chatter. “Do you have a moment? I have to ask a favor of you.”

“A favor?” Your heart beats rapidly as you stop and walk over to him. You feel Inoichi’s eyes burning into your back but you ignore him. 

“I don’t know how long this mission might take, would you be okay with looking after my cat again?”

“Again?” You huff out in mock annoyance. “You should really get someone else to look after her, I’m not your servant.”

“But Neko likes you.” He offers with his usual dry humor. “She never pukes on anyone but you.”

“Pretty sure I’m the only other human she knows besides you.”

He considers that for a moment. “True. I’m not very social, I don’t know if you’re aware of that.”

“No, it’s a real surprise.” You open your eyes wide. “I’m honestly blown away by it.”

“You know where her food is.” He reminds you, the hallway around you now empty. His voice sounds a little softer now, but you might be imagining it. “And where I keep my spare key.”

“Come back safe.” You say and he raises one eyebrow. “I don’t want to keep your cat in case you don’t make it back.” 

There’s so much that’s left unsaid. You want to say that you love him and that you worry that his job might break you one day. You want to ask if he’ll always look at you like that, like a riddle that he cannot fully figure out. You want to take his hand and kiss his lips and inhale his scent and remind yourself that while the future is uncertain, this moment is not.

But you’re out in public, the door behind you shut but who knows for how long, and this, this thing between you, is still as fragile as a freshly laid egg.

“Don’t worry,” Ibiki says, “I’ll be back in no time. I can’t let you become Chief of the Interrogation Force before me.”

-

Ibiki comes back five days later. His arm is in a bandage and his ribs are badly bruised. 

He slips under the covers and presses his cold hands against your bare back, laughing when you hiss and swat at him.

“How was it?” He asks. “You didn’t look that good when you came back from your own mission.”

“Shut up.” You growl sleepily as you try to curl around him in a way that won’t hurt his ribs. “I always look good.”

“No, you don’t.” He kisses the crown of your head. “And that’s what I like about you.”

You huff. “It was fine. I hung out with Neko until I couldn’t bear the silence much longer and then I went out with Anko. No alcohol, just mindless shopping. I bought some really nice stuff.”

“Clothes or make-up?” He asks, letting his warmed-up hand travel down your back and up again, a soothing motion that puts a weight on your eyelids.

“Both.” You mumble. “And some cooking stuff. I got this really cute apron-” Your mouth clicks shut as sleep drags you under, safe and comfortable in his arms.

.

Ibiki’s still there when you wake up, the best thing to wake up to. 

Him coming home hasn’t been a product of your imagination but reality.

You decide to let him sleep - you can be nice too - and make breakfast instead.

Neko follows you into the kitchen, mewling loudly in front of her bowl.

When she realizes that you’re preparing her food, she rubs her head against your bare leg, purring loudly.

“You so easy to bribe.” You tell her. “All you need is food and you’d love anyone.”

Neko mewls and you shake your head, pet her back when she digs into her food.

Ibiki finds you in the kitchen ten minutes later, assembling slightly burned pancakes with fresh fruit.

“I made breakfast.” You exclaim proudly. He kisses you, slow and careful, like a morning prayer.

“Move in with me?” He asks when you break apart, your knees a little wobbly and a dazed smile on your face. 

“I already live here.” You say, a little confused.

“Permanently. Put your name on the lease and everything.”

“Oh.” You swallow thickly, realizing what that means. “Oh! Ibiki, you don’t have to make this public if you’re not ready yet. We can keep going like this, we’ve done it for months now.”

You barely catch the smirk fluttering over his face before it’s gone. It’s always bad news.

“So you’ve not been squatting at my house because I’m such a good cook but because you’ve had feelings for me all this time?”

“Oh, shut up.” You raise your eyebrows in challenge. “Inoichi and Chouza figured that I must have a boyfriend because I was ‘glowing’ as Chouza put it. All they could talk about the whole mission was how heartbroken you’d be if you found out because you obviously have a crush on me.”

Ibiki’s mouth tightens. “I didn’t think it was that obvious.”

“Wait, what?” You still in his arms. “You did have a crush on me?”

“What did you think that was?”

“Mild annoyance? I’ve worn the skimpiest clothes around you, no reaction. But you certainly loved to get a rise out of me.”

“Sweetheart, I’m able to withstand the worst torture, you won’t get a rise out of me with cheap tricks.” His smile grows at your reaction to the pet name. “Even if it’s the sweetest torture. Also, you love the challenge.”

You roll your eyes, still a little flustered. “Why do I feel like I’ve created a monster with this?”

-

Ino’s staring at Ibiki.

Well, everyone but your sister-in-law is staring at Ibiki. Miwa has always had the best manners in the family after all.

Inoichi has been strangely silent ever since you stepped into the house, Ibiki in tow. 

You’d known that he’d invite Shikaku and Chouza the moment you mentioned you’d bring over your boyfriend.

You had even anticipated that they would all bring their children and spouses.

You had not anticipated, however, that they would all stare at Ibiki with varying degrees of dumbfounded surprise, or, in the case of the kids, worry.

“I don’t know why you’re surprised, really.” You tell your brother. “You were going on and on about how he’s got a crush on me.”

“I’m not surprised.” Shikamaru declares with the same bored voice he uses to talk about everything but Shogi. “I just don’t get what everyone else is so surprised about.”

He huffs. “What a drag. Chouji, let’s go outside and watch the clouds.” 

“You wanna go with the boys?” You ask Ino. She’s wearing a bow in her hair and her favorite dress, a clear sign that she wanted to look extra pretty for meeting your new boyfriend. Even at six years old she knows what that’s all about.

Ino shakes her head, and looks up at you, her small face torn with different emotions. Her eyes flicker to Ibiki and she draws back a little.

“Come.” You hold out your hand. “Show me your room. I haven’t been in there since Monday, I’m sure there’s something new.”

When she takes your hand, you turn to Ibiki with a smile.

“Don’t eat them alive.” You whisper, relish in the smile that flickers over his face. He’s totally enjoying this.

.

Ino’s still unusually quiet when she points out the new purple flower pot on her window sill. 

“What’s your favorite flower?” You ask and she opens up a little, always eager to talk about pretty things.

You take a seat on her unmade bed and she crawls into your lap like she’s four years old again.

“Did Ibiki scare you?” You ask.

She hides her face against your chest.

“I know he’s got a scary face.” You rub a hand over her back. “But he’s one of the nicest men I know.”

“Nicer than Chouza?”

You laugh softly. “Maybe not nicer than Chouza but Chouza is already married.”

“But…” She stops as if realizing that what she wants to say isn’t really what should be said. You nudge her. “Out with it, Princess. You know you can ask me anything.”

“You’re so pretty.” She mumbles. “And he’s not. And I don’t know… I thought…”

“You know what I like most about Ibiki?” You ask Ino, well aware of the shadow hiding behind the door. “That while he sees how pretty I am, it’s not what he likes most about me?”

“But you’re so pretty!”

“I know, right?” You laugh at her exasperation. “But remember how I always tell you that you’re not just pretty but strong, and smart and kind?”

Ino nods, looks up at you now with big, questioning eyes.

“When you get older you realize that beauty isn’t the most important thing. That if people thinking you’re only one thing, it will hurt. You’re more than just one thing and if someone can’t see that, it’s their fault not yours. But when someone sees you for all the things you are, you need to hold them close.”

Ino considers that for a while, lower lip poking out as she thinks.

“What does he like most about you?”

“Ah.” You smile. “You’ll have to ask him that yourself. Don’t look at me like that, he’s not as scary as he looks. Just keep in mind that he’s got a kitten pajama and you’ll be fine.”

.

When you step out of Ino’s room, Inoichi’s pulling himself out of the shadows. His face is unreadable to anyone who doesn’t know him as well as you.

You press your flat hand against his cheek, let memories float between you and him. 

His expression softens until he grabs a hold of your hand and holds it in his.

“I’m happy for you.”

“Can we go downstairs?” Ino asks to your left, clearly annoyed that her father is taking up all your attention now. 

“Sure, honey.” Inoichi picks her up with one last look at you. “Are you hungry already?

.

“Ibiki?” You stop at the door to his office. You’d been in the bedroom, putting away the rest of your clothes, now officially a part of this household.

“Yeah?” He looks up from something on his desk. “Sorry, I was lost in thought.”

“I can tell.” You smile. He blinks.

“Why are you standing there?” He asks. “Like you’re afraid to step in here.”

“Oh, it’s just…” You shrug. “It always felt like this was where you went to have time to yourself. And you know I’d never enter your brain without consent so it felt wrong to enter this room.” You’re keeping a smile on your face, but your voice is serious. You’ve learned to be honest around him.

“Oh.” He gets up slowly and takes the few steps to your side, pulls your hand from your side. “Come in.”

And it’s just a room, nothing special about it, but you know what he means.

You lean into him, head heavy on his shoulder as you point at different pictures.

“Tell me about that one.” 

“That’s Idate.” His voice is low, carries so much feeling. “My little brother. We took that picture two days after he was born. My dad had already died.”

“How much older are you?”

“Like you and Inoichi. Eleven years apart.”

Your hand curls into his like you curl into him at night. You can tell that the topic is painful to him. You point at a different picture hanging near the window. You’ve never seen this one before, have never stepped in far enough.

“Oh my.. is that?”

“Yeah. That’s Neko as a baby.”

“She was so… small.” Neko mewls from the doorway as if to agree with you.

“Yeah.” Ibiki rests his head on yours, looking up at a younger version of him and his beloved cat. “Found her on the way back from a mission. I told everyone I was going to take her to the shelter but I didn’t. They probably all thought I couldn’t care for an animal.”

“They’re wrong. You’re a great dad… Cat dad. Cat dad, I mean.” You’re flustered about your slip up.

Ibiki grins down at you like he knows. And you’re sure he knows.

“Are you telling me that the great Yamanaka secretly wants to be a mother? After everything you’ve said about the topic so far?”

“I’m allowed to have a secret.” You pout. “Besides, if you paint yourself like you don’t want something no one will pity you if you don’t get it, right?”

Ibiki’s fingers twitch around yours. Right. Of Course. 

Ibiki, the man who seemingly does not care, who loves deeply even though he doesn’t let on, should know this the best.

“One at a time.” He presses a kiss to your temple. “First we get you a pet so you can practice not killing them.”

taglist: @snuggleboots @missalienqueen

[coconox]

honestly been going back and forth w myself on a lot of things lately attaching a read more for the sake of ik i'll be rambling like theres no tmr

a part of me wants to drop pnc but i havent really gotten everyone i wanted yet + im broke so i need to build my stash up *looks at clotho and eos* oddly enough pnc has been a game ive been pretty happy on playing still hate how i missed a login day tho tbf ive rarely borderline never interacted w the fandom so me just being in the dark w what goes on there has kinda been a blessing and a curse in a sense that i can enjoy the game in peace but it feels like im alone doing so

pgr im really REALLY tempted on dropping my glb acc, once nocti comes around which will prob be around the end of the school yr for me thats where i'd be like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ welp ig im done and drop that acc after playing around w nocti and whatev. tw im still not too sure abt?? prob when i get around to lvling up my main teams i can be like ok im done and drop that at any time since im just there to experience content ahead of time without being in cn directly

before dropping pgr entirely i do wanna complete a few stuff i had in mind tho

countdown for hyperreal which will prob happen bambi patch

still need to finish that nocti countdown for tw ive barely had any motivation completing that

nocti's bday countdown (similar to how lee's went)

glb nocti's countdown

draw every char up to latest one in cn

a few noctiskk comics thats been in the back of my head for MONTHS now

basically LOTS of countdowns and nocti stuff before i drop everything entirely

will i still draw pgr stuff after all that? mayyybeee???? itll moreso be towards kye's lore building rather than it being a standalone thing. i'll still collect merch and build up my shrines and make cosplay for chars but aside from that i'm pretty much gonna be moving on to other things

ive always had 50/50 feelings w being in the pgr fandom, tho being introduced to it on disc and then going to twt may have affected my views on this whole thing. esp when the side of the fandom i was first introduced to is like the lowest of the low, i dont want to go back to a place where a bunch of dudebro incels made fun of me for being afab and liking lee and me thinking that was a norm when it clearly isnt. its been 2 goddamn yrs and theyre still poking fun at that?? like my god grow up im so sick and tired of it.

if by a slim chance i still want to participate in being in the pgr fandom i'll just go back to lurking like ive always done in prev fandoms, if i really wanna be active in talking abt the game i'll talk abt it in servers or dms, but publicly i felt that i could never really comfortably talk abt how i feel abt it aside from here cause this site >>>>>> bc i felt like my opinions arent valid, tho that really applies to anything i do so 💀💀

pgr has been a really nice game for me to destress and detach myself from reality for a bit, tho now i wanna move on to other games and focus more on my ocs like i did back in the day. once i properly set up everyone's lore doc maybe in the future i'll make a game around them, nothing too big since i'll pretty much be making most of it, but i kinda wanna fulfill my childhood dream that was just recently unlocked

theres also that small part of me that wants to be known for my oc stuff rather than pgr stuff, but bc im not tagging w popular art tags im kinda just existing, and thats fine by me. hitting 500+ follows on twt was like peak realization of me going like "oh shit, 😨 maybe this big of a following aint for me" and it truly isnt lol

[captainaikus]

in between crying abt Tokyo Revengers ending im having the worst case of Izana brainrot ive ever experienced good God this man has such a chokehold on me rn like it’s not even funny ive been listening to this one song on loop for the past hour just sitting on my fluffy blanket looking off into my post-it covered wall distance and imagining a whole book abt our love story the heck

- ✨ anon

im sorry i keep adding like one sentence things to my previous asks i can be very scatterbrained sometimes sorry but like also i think my Izana brainrot rn is me coping with the ending im still in denial and i feel so empty and i don’t think it’s really hit me yet but anyways yeah i honestly didn’t think it would be Izana who helps me cope with the ending i would’ve thought it would be the pet ship trio or one of them you know? not Takemitchy or Mikey because God knows those two individually and together are just i cannot with them (in an affectionately and a pls never let me forget their story and destroy my heart for the 1000th time why don’t you way i love them so much you have no idea) cause i was in a pet shop trio brainrot during the last few chapters until the last one so the switch to Izana was surprising but definitely not unwelcome anyways yeah - ✨ anon

Please don't apologize !! I'm happy to see messages in my inbox no matter how many times you visit! ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ੈ♡‧₊˚

I- I was planning on writing for Izana some months ago. It was an emperor au fic and now I'm starting to think if I should pick up writing for Tr again...

But yeah apparently the latest chapter has everyone shook but at the same time, one of my friends said that it was a good ending and honestly? I think it was. The time mikey and takemitchy broke my heart was when he had turned into bonten's leader and sanzu as well as Haitani brothers were working under him and he had become so broken and depressed and Takemitchy was trying to help him. I was happy when Baji came back cause he was one of my fav characters and the way I was shocked when he died cause of Kazutora... as well as Mitsuya dying as well

the manga was really well made honestly.

I hope you feel better soon starry!

*sending a warm blanket, hugs and plushies*

[iveneverbeenmorestressedinmylife]

Hello, there! I'm Lynn, it's a pleasure to meet you. I had a small question out of curiosity.

"When did you start to become a fan of Miles Edgeworth?"

I think for me it was the end of Turnabout Samurai. 💖

Kdksks hii 😭 honestly i went pretty backwards about it. Let me explain.

First of all ive only been an ace attorney fan for a few months now? Like im not a fandom veteran by any means. It was a cold December evening (i think). A mutual of mine rebloged some edgeworth fanart (for the life of me i cannot remember what it was or why it made my brain click in such a way. Maybe it was dl6 related? It would explain why it broke me in such a dramatic way) and it caught my interest.

Before i knew it i went and read my boys miles entire fanwiki and well. You know what i found there. I was already hooked just by seeing fanart of him but there was no going back to normal after that point. I went on some insane fanart rebloging sprees like i usually do when i go insane over a character. I read a ridiculous amount of fanfic before even touching the games 😭😭 and i am not ashamed to admit it!! And god one of the first things i read had a lot of magatama fuckery and i had no idea what that was at the time but did i let that stop me? Nooooo.

In my defense (ha) it was exam season and I didn't have the time to actually play the games (but apparently had no problem with spending hours of my day reading fanfic :•] Clown behaviour). Plus i have a pretty lousy video game record (i usually drop most games before finishing them rip) but at some point three months into this latest hyperfixation of mine i caved ans finally downloaded the trilogy games on my laptop. Woohoo! You go me.

So yeah i went into the games having already bookmarked literally hundreds of aa fanfics on ao3 and 100% biased. I have almost no memory of playing the first two cases but the moment edgeworth showed up i literally started clapping. I finished turnabout goodbyes a few weeks ago (GOD what a case) and now im in the middle of rising from the ashes but i haven't really touched it in a while... might actually play a bit now. I still have a long road ahead of me 😭 hopefully i will be up to the challenge i really want to actually play the trilogy to its entirety and maybe the investigations games because as we've already established im not subtle about my favouritism <3 and wow this got real long. Thanks for the ask <3 its always a pleasure to talk about That Man.

[coldvampire]

i don’t think blizzard’s latest gameplay disappointment will necessarily be the kiss of death for ovw2 but it sure doesn’t look good. like the pve stuff was SUCH a big deal when they dropped those trailers and now it’s just not happening, we’ve basically just recycled ovw1 from what i can tell about future events and stuff. people are understandably disappointed by this, it sucks to see something scrapped that they appeared to already have put a lot of work into. kinda not sure how they plan to come back from this, if they even can?? idk ive just stuck around since 2016 and it’s just sad to watch it die a slow death. ovw as a whole had a lot of potential but back end issues meant it would never be able to achieve that. things get chopped constantly but the difference is that consumers generally don’t know about it so this probably wasn’t an easy conclusion to come to, it’s just been what. four years?? since pve and skill trees were shown to us? and now it’s just now happening.

in other news, bloodhunt has also announced that they’re no longer developing it, which is unfortunate bc generally i don’t care for battle royales but this one was looking pretty promising. i think it just came down to numbers honestly, the player base wasn’t the largest and i haven’t had a match in months that wasn’t at least half bots.

so! idk. i don’t really have any interest in other pvps out there at the moment (i’ll be dead before i pick up fortnite lmfao) and i don’t really have a point here, it’s just been a disappointing few days for gaming news on my end lmfao

[sunnysheep]

the latest update in the sheep plays hockey saga: new town, new rink!

"get off the ice or the zamboni's gonna getcha" <- ive been thinking about this quote from the ice staff on loop it was so funny

ive done stick and puck two times, and both times the poor teenage girl on desk has looked at me and been like, "let's getcha your own locker room." lmao women perks i guess (very funny to me more on this later)

so instead of sharing a locker room with 20+ men and boys , i can get my own locker room as the sole girlie playing hockey! yippee!

so. the locker room. first off, the first time they let me in, they forgot to unlock it the whole way so the door locked behind me when i exited (leading to a very unfun time when i had to go sweatily get someone to let me back in after). then, the locker room itself: open floor plan jack and jill style room w/ benches, with the middle connector that consists of a very gross shower stall, a small sink, and a urinal. like lol what am i supposed to do with that they dont even have a dedicated female locker room pshhhh

i have a theory that the main locker room that they put they boys in is bigger. i have yet to be in any other locker room than the one i was put in, so i haven't been able to test it yet, but i will report back if i can get intel

the new rink has a very different demographic than my old rink. out are the 9 yr old hockey boys and in are the teenage and college-age boys! yippee! though honestly they are very fun - i love it when they try some wild trick shot and then pretend like they havent spent the last five minutes missing the net (mood)

ive been working on backwards skating, which has been very difficult. backwards crossovers are an absoulte nightmare and i dislike them greatly. very envious of the hockey players that just backwards skate like nothing. i want to eat them

side note: just want to say that can rinks PLEASE have more working adult-friendly public hours?? like my dudes only had three (3) times that i could feasibly(ish) make to go to stick and puck the past three weeks, and no times for the whole month of june!! like i understand why most of the hours are during the normal workday (kids off school etc), But my working adult self also wants to play the hockey 🥺

seriously why can't they have evening hours (or at least let us on the OTHER ICE) like they have 2 rinks in the building... why can't we use them both please i will pay money to skate please

anyways, i do love skating so it's been nice to have a rink close by again :) also looking forward to starting up lessons again in a few weeks!!

[pompadourpink]

Hi!!!! I hope you’re doing well Maman !

So I made this one guy friend ( im a girl ), we started talking on sm and then met a couple of times in campus , we were pretty cool and our discussions were interesting we talked for like 3 months every single day through text and he referred to me as his friend a few times even though he said he chose his friends very carefully, so I thought we were good friends cuz I do consider him as one as well but then I don’t know what happened but he just never replies to my msgs anymore, like there’s literally no sign from him for over a month now and I think he is just ignoring me but trust me Im pretty sure I did nothing wrong , our latest discussions were pretty dull I must admit but I don’t think thats a good excuse to just disappear for over a month ?

Ive been questionning myself and my personality for the past month , Im a pretty distant person and im more on the introvert side so this dude is the first friend Îve made for the past 3 years and im thinking maybe im just too annoying of a person for people or too cold or I don’t really know anymore tbh and I honestly really liked that dude’’s personality , I thought we’d make such a cool duo of friends but I guess he’s gone and its all ive been thinking about tbh , can you give me your opinion on this situation ?

Hello dear,

This is called a nice guy and it is not a loss.

There's a category of people that think of men as the main characters and women as accessories, like a watch or a nice suit - therefore, don't think you can really be friends with a woman, because they have no inner life, they're too much of this and not enough of that, and they're really silly little creatures one shouldn't pay too much attention to. But they're still sexual beings, want to be able to show off their girl to other men, know that having a girlfriend is social evidence of their attractiveness, and most likely witnessed their mum serve their dad since they were born and think it would be really nice to have someone replace mum now that they have moved out. So they hate being single.

So if they approach you, they have a very specific goal in mind. There are entire blogs, Twitter and IG accounts, books, Youtube channels, about how to get a girl, how to text a girl, how to manipulate a girl into thinking sleeping with you was her idea, etc., and they'll use techniques like gaslighting or negging (negative complimenting: giving you a weird compliment to make you defensive and feel like you really need this man to think that you're better than he thinks). Just last year, a guy who was standing next to me while I was getting eggs leaned in and whispered "you have the second-best pair of legs I've seen today" before smiling largely and waving his brows.

The hope was crystal clear: "aww why would you say that handsome, maybe I should wrap them around your waist and we can change your mind ;)".

(Yes, that is how blind they are, because they've been simultaneously consuming that type of content for years while having zero contact with women, even relatives, so they get convinced that our only interest in life is the attention of men.)

Thankfully I am very good at confrontation and grew up in the land of Sarcasm so I said "and you have the ugliest face I've seen all year" and he left.

Your guy might just be a little butthole and it's not that deep, nonetheless deciding that it's not worth talking to a woman anymore because you just realised that they won't let you get in their pants remains a sexist thing to do. So, really, you're not missing out. He was never your friend and this had nothing to do with your personality and everything to do with his crappy attitude.

Love,

Mum

[vicholas]

i think we're about the same age so im curious... i was SUPER into every anime airing from 2007-2013 (aka my middle/high school years), and trailed off by about 2014. i'm so out of the loop on shit now, ive watched maybe 3 or 4 series in the last 7 years. my nostalgic ass tends to be all "those were the good ol days," but you've actually been keeping up (afaik). how would you say anime/the industry of today compares to that of a decade ago? has much changed? i suppose that's kind of wildly broad... but i respect your opinions a lot and we share a lot of the same tastes. if that's too big a question, then: what do you rec watching/reading from the last 10 years?? :0)

Okay this has been sitting in my drafts for months, sorry anon. I wanted to answer it sooner but I got nervous that I was forgetting some stuff in my recommendations and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t forgetting anything before posting it, but I think it’ll be better that if I forgot something I’ll just add it in a reblog or make a marked edit later to add it rather than to keep waiting to publish it.

Hhhh this is hard, I kinda struggle to give recommendation because the second I get asked for recommendations I tend to forget everything I've ever liked, but I'll try

To answer the question: I think this kind of thing is normal and it happens to a lot of people when they get around this age. I feel there were a lot of periods where I stopped watching anime for a good while and came back to it later.

I honestly don't think anime used to be better 10 years ago. I think it's super easy to look back and think that because of nostalgia but, I think the amount of good stuff being produced is like about the same. I DO think there is more bad stuff being produced lmao. This is because the number of anime being produced has increased and it often means more crap being made. This means it can be a bit harder to find what stuff is good in the sea of so much anime, but I do think there's some pretty good stuff being made nonetheless.

I don't watch/read as much stuff as I used to when I was younger, but it's because I simply don't have time. My list of things to watch is pretty big for that reason orz. Normally I keep up with only one show at the time.

On recommendations, here's what I can think of from the last 10 years:

Anime:

- Heartcatch Precure - Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun - The latest few Lupin III series - Deca-Dence - Odd Taxi - Ousama Ranking - Sonny Boy - Mob Psycho 100 - Nichijou

Manga:

- Spy x Family - Dungeon Meshi - Dorohedoro - Heaven's Design Team - Mairimashita Iruma-kun! - Sanda - Blue Period - My Broken Mariko - Kageki Shoujo - Is Kichijoji the Only Place to Live? - Kieta Hatsukoi - Witch Hat Atelier - Asadora (Urasawa) - Hirayasumi

(Edit) Adding new stuff:

- Skip and Loafer - Robo Sapiens

Only now I am realizing that I read way more manga than I watch anime lately despite being an animation fan lmao rip...

[heysatori]

Can you write about the Bakusquad, you know each of them, where y/n has been through a lot of heartbreaks and is unsure about relationships, but they reassure y/n that they won't do that and everything will be fine? And maybe a little fluff in the end for good measure.

Bakusquad reacting to y/n being scared of getting into a relationship genre: fluff, angst pairings: Bakugou x reader, Kirishima x reader, Sero x reader, Kaminari x reader, Ashido x reader a/n: sorry i responded to this a little late! all ive been doing is watching minecraft streams, watching anime and sleeping while balancing school work ehe (⌒_⌒;) but thank u sm for the request ! i hope this satisfies ur request ! disclaimer that the pictures im using arent mine ! they are from heroacacaps ! so credits to them ! if u guys want to scream at me u can dm me here or on my twitter ! @kodzusan (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ im still accepting requests

Bakugou Katsuki

both you and bakugou were scared of relationships for different reasons

bakugou was scared because he knew how rough he was around the edges, if he was even fit to be in nice relationship 

you on the other hand were scared of relationships because of the amount of heartbreaks youve been through 

you were cheated on, broken up with, ghosted, and just left hanging 

after all those mistakes you learned ur lesson ! 

so after having bakugou come up to you, courting you in the nicest way possible (giving you a bowl of your favorite food), you didnt know how to react 

on surface level, katsuki had quite a few red flags here and there 

but since you had gotten to know the boy a little better over the course of time, you learned to understand why he is the way he is 

you trusted bakugou 

so having him court you was surprising 

although u had the fattest crush on him, you still didnt know what to do

so instead of refusing him with no reason, you explained your past to him (parts of which he already knew) 

he understood completely, all he wanted was to treat you right and make you happy !! 

“listen y/n, i know im a little rough around the edges, but i promise you that i wont do any of that stupid shit to you! all of your exes are absolute fuckin’ dumbasses for doing that to you and im here to treat you right and make you the happiest youve ever been! if you’ll let me” 

ヽ( `д´*)ノ <- he blushes a little at the end

although wary, u trust him 1000% !! 

so you accept his offer !! 

hes pretty shocked that you accepted and instantly pulls you in a hug ! 

“thank you, i promise you fucking wont regret this”

Kirishima Eijirou 

you had honestly fallen for eijirou the moment you met him 

but with your considerable bad love life you decided against pursuing after him 

but u couldnt help but feel urself get drawn towards him ! 

and surprise surprise ! you two become great friends ! 

but as time passes by, ur feelings for him become stronger, which is the total opposite of what u wanted  (╯︵╰,)

so its an even bigger surprise when kirishima comes up to you with your favorite flower, asking you to be his significant other 

he was so sweet but u were too scared to get into another relationship ! 

even though u and ur exes were in middle school at that time, those things still hurt you 

you explain all of this carefully to the redhead, not wanting to hurt his feelings 

he feels tears spring to his eyes as you tell him about your past 

he just wants to make you happy ! 

so without thinking, he pulls you into a hug 

“im so sorry that happened to you! you dont have to get with me if your scared! but just know that i wont ever, ever do those things to you! all i want is to make you happy, but its alright if you say no, ill still be here for you no matter what” 

overwhelmed with emotions, you end up tearing up as well, melting in his bear hug 

not wanting to make such a rash decision in the height of your emotions you tell the red head you’ll think about it (strongly hinting that you want to say yes)

Sero Hanta 

sero is a very chill man so your attraction to him was a little unexpected 

but you admire him a lot for a lot of things that he does !

u keep ur attraction to him on the down low though 

it felt a little one sided for a while

you two barely interacted and he didnt even look at you most of the time 

but your relationship with him took a sudden turn and u two became close friends !

you two bonded over mangas that you both read, occasionally spending time in his room to read the latest releases together !

one day, sero invited you to his room to read a romance manga he found out about a few days prior 

you come over and end up sharing the book since you didnt have ur own copy 

when you and sero reach a panel where the main characters aka the lovebirds finally kissed for the first time, the tall boy looked over to you 

“wish i could do this with you” he said gently 

NOTHING could explain how surprised u were !! 

“are you serious?” 

“of course i am” 

at this you explain to sero that although you reciprocate the feelings, relationships are a little rocky for you considering your past relationships 

sero wraps an arm around you and pulls you to his side, burying his nose in the side of your head 

“thats fine, you dont have to say yes, just you knowing that i like you is good enough for me, just know that i wouldnt ever think about doing those stupid things to you, but if i can make you happy now, then im already doing a great job” 

Kaminari Denki 

kaminari was a very sociable boy !! so it was impossible that you two werent friends after a few months you start to notice the way your cheeks tend to heat up when ur around the blond 

other people were also very aware at how when you and kaminari were together, both of you became blushing messes 

they didnt talk about it though 

they wanted the two oblivious dumbasses to figure it out themselves - ehem bakugou 

one day though, kaminari comes knocking at your door, looking ridiculously shy 

“uhm hi! i uh, i was, uhm, wondering if you maybe wanted to date me?” 

before you could even process what he said, he immediately took it back 

“wait no! uhm well i mean i like you a lot, thats why im asking! like a lot alot! i love your smile and your laugh and everything and i just, like making you happy, it makes me super duper ultra happy!”

although u want to accept denkis offer, your horrible dating life was looming over you

with this, you quietly tell denki that you dont think relationships are your thing 

he doesnt hesitate to ask you why !

you unwillingly tell him about your stupid relationships and hes quick to retaliate your self degrading words 

“hey! you arent stupid alright? you were young, things have changed! you’ve changed! i dont wanna force you into anything but just know, even if im a dumbass i wont treat you like that, ever! in fact, ill even be the best relationship youve ever had!” 

he pulls you into a hug not long after, squeezing you tight against his chest

“i trust you, sure, ill date you” (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

Ashido Mina 

mina is a very determined person !

so when she wants something, she’ll get it one way or another 

so when she realized her big fat crush on you, she knew immediately that she wanted to date you 

and it wasnt just something about you, it was everything about you!

the way you stand, laugh, smile, talk, even if ur just sitting at your desk nodding off into sleep, she still thinks your the most amazing person ever (￣ε￣＠)

she doesnt hesitate to approach you after she is absolutely SURE about her feelings towards you

youre shocked of course, but you couldnt deny that you harbored feelings towards mina either 

you reluctantly tell her that although the feelings were mutual, you were still scared of getting into a relationship 

she listens carefully as u tell her about your past, rubbing your arm as comfort as you reveal a few of your insecurities 

“you didnt deserve any of that, i hope you know that! you dont have to say yes or anything, i dont want you to feel forced or pity, but i can treat you so much better that all of those jackasses! but we dont have to date for that, i can still do those things as a loving and good friend!” 

[storiesforsomeone]

As a preface i have social anxiety so sorry if i sound awkward but anyway i wanted to write to the fic writers who’ve most impacted me over the years and so ofc i had to write to u. I looked back at my bookmark of You Only Live Twice, and I started reading it in 2017. I think it was until the point where Merlin was on the roof, enjoying the rain until Arthur tells him to come down. And it’s amazing how every time I go back to read this, i still have that imagine in my head. Ur descriptions always amaze me and u partner them w the most fun and thrilling plot like seriously ur story feels like the full package and im in love with it i really am. Unfortunately, i dont read it as faithfully to the updates as id like to, but every few months when i get back into the merlin fandom i go back to download You Only Live Twice once again so i can read it over from the beginning until ur latest chapter. U have no idea how ur story has just made me happy just by it existing and the experiences ive gotten from it. I feel like im right there with them and for the past 5?? 6??? Years of my life ur characters have grown up with me. Thank u so very much for writing this story. Even tho its not finished rn, its one of my favorite works ever already and it has been since that day i started reading it years ago. Once again, thank you.

Hey novatoure, this message is beautiful and heart-warming and I am so, so happy you have enjoyed reading You Only Live Twice as it has stretched out across the (increasingly staggering) number of years! I'm astounded and very touched that you've stuck with it for this long, that you have been back to reread again and again, and that it has occupied your thoughts in such a positive way; hearing that one's writing has had an impact in whatever small way is honestly one of the best compliments I think a writer can receive.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out and put all this down in writing, I hope you're doing well, (and thanks for the nudge to get back to updating this asap!)

Sending wishes for all good things xx

[whythinktoomuch]

v. a deadly giveaway

(pt. i)  (pt. ii)  (pt. iii)  (pt. iv)

“No, it’s huge deal,” Kara insists. “Alex hardly ever lets anyone choose their own weapons. Plus, she likes to judge people based on their preference in firearms. Like, for example, Mike with his big ol’ shotgun, which... well, don’t make me say it.” 

“It’s just that either way, I’d have to give it back, no?” 

Kara’s brow crinkles. “No...? Of course not. Why would we make you give it back?” 

“Well, when I leave, I mean.” 

“Oh... right,” Kara says. She hadn’t really considered a possibility in which Lena wouldn’t stay with them indefinitely, but nods as if she had. 

Lena looks over at the marked silence, one corner of her lips quirking up in a wry smile. She leans into Kara, resting her head on her broad shoulder. “So, what does your gun say about you?” 

Kara glances down at her trusty semiautomatic pistol and shrugs. “That I’m a quick shot?”  

"Oh?” Lena laughs, and the delighted sound has Kara’s spirits lifting, just a little. “It’s also a Glock.” 

“Sure.” 

“Which means you have big hands,” Lena continues. She takes one of the hands in question and traces over the callused lifelines with her fingertips. When Lena plants a kiss at the very center of her palm, Kara’s spirits practically skyrocket. 

So, Lena intends to leave one day, and Kara keeps forgetting about it until she’s forced to remember. Whether it be a stray comment or a pointed silence in response to questions about the near future, the reminder never fails to soil Kara’s mood for the rest of the day. 

Naturally, Lena notices. Kara makes no secret of her feelings, after all, though she’s somehow managed to keep certain choice words to herself thus far. But Lena makes a real effort to make it up to her every time: 

holding Kara’s hand, 

tracing lazy shapes around each knuckle with her fingers, 

telling her a silly joke, despite not remembering the punchline,  

pressing lingering kisses to her shoulder, the warmth somehow bleeding through two layers of cotton, 

falling asleep with her head in Kara’s lap, etc. 

But honestly, in the end, it all just makes it that much worse for Kara. 

“You can’t force her to stay,” Alex says with a sigh. 

Kara scowls because she knows that, but still. “Well,” she says, “you made Kelly stay here with you, didn’t you?” 

“Did not. I just made her like me enough to stay.” 

Kara mumbles something into her pillow that Alex has to force her to repeat more clearly, “Lena likes me too.” 

“That she does,” Alex says, rolling her eyes. “You know, she stares at the back of your head whenever she’s behind you. Not at your ass like a normal person, but your head. Like, she’s just waiting for you to turn around and see her.” 

Kara buries both her fists into her belly, trying to stave off the ache that comes with Alex’s words, and just groans and groans. 

“So, why haven’t you tried to kiss me again yet?” Kara asks, the next time she and Lena are killing time in the library together. There’s no one else around and Kara’s frankly got nothing much to lose these days. “Was it really that bad?” 

Lena doesn’t answer, but her forehead goes bright red behind the cover of her latest novel. She starts turning the pages a bit more quickly, at a pace that surely even she couldn’t be reading at. 

“Because if it was... this might be the perfect time to let you know that, well... it had been a while,” Kara says slowly. “And I wasn’t really ready or expecting a beautiful woman to just, you know—”

“Kara!” Lena slaps the book onto the table before her, her entire face blushing furiously. “What are you doing?”

Kara blinks. “Explaining?” 

“Explaining what?” 

“Why I think our next kiss would be so much better.” 

“You... think about that a lot?” 

“About kissing you?” Kara says incredulously. “Yeah, like, all the time!” 

Lena nearly upends the table in her mad scramble to get across, the momentum resulting in Kara’s chair tipping backwards and crashing to the floor, with the two of them toppling along with it. 

“Ow...” Kara wheezes, her back already sore from landing heavily against the back of the chair. “And wow, um... Cool.” 

“Sorry, sorry,” Lena says breathlessly, grinding her hips against Kara’s like she’s ready to beg for forgiveness. “Are you okay?” 

Kara shakes her head in amazement. “I’m fine. And you’re perfect.” Then she pulls Lena down for a hungry kiss, and in accordance with her predictions from earlier, it is indeed much better than their first. 

Kara’s panting, then Lena’s panting, which only makes Kara pant even harder. She lets her hands wander—cupping the back of Lena’s neck, cradling her face, tangling in her long dark hair and tugging insistently, sliding down her arching back in reverence—until finally, they rest at the gentle swell of Lena’s hips. 

She pauses with her fingertips skating just past the hem of Lena’s shirt. It’s as far as they got to last time when Lena froze up on her, and now, as somewhat expected, Lena’s freezing up all over again. 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Kara says, cutting Lena off before she could try. “Kissing’s the best part anyway. Honest.” 

Lena ducks her head, pressing her forehead against Kara’s thumping chest. “I want to, Kara. I really do want to...” 

“Okay.” Kara strokes Lena’s hair, and she relaxes into the touch with a soft sigh until she’s boneless atop Kara’s blessedly solid frame. “Well, I’m okay either way.” 

“I just...” Lena’s muffling her words into Kara’s shirt now, and it’s harder to hear, but infinitely more distracting. “I just don’t want you to see...” 

Kara blinks a few times up at the ceiling in question, but it holds no answers for her. “See... your boobs?” she asks Lena instead. 

“What? No!” Lena says sharply, as if Kara’s the one who’s being cryptic right now. “Of course not!” 

“I’m not sure what we’re talking about then... but would it help if I went first?” 

“What do you mean?” 

But Kara’s already sitting up, leaning slightly back to give herself more space, then she whips her t-shirt off with a careless flourish. Lena’s hand—braced against Kara’s hip for balance—seizes up and her nails briefly bite into Kara’s skin. 

“... You... can’t be serious...” Lena says, her voice strained. “What the fuck?” 

Kara frowns, definitely not having expected that sort of reaction. “I ran out of clean bras.” 

“No. Just... you look like this?” Lena presses her entire hand flat against Kara’s abs, gasping when they tense up against her touch. “God, you’re such a dick.” 

Kara bursts out laughing, wrapping Lena up in the tightest of hugs, just so, so utterly charmed. They don’t even kiss again for the rest of the night. Instead, Kara just points out all the various scars that cover her body—a scattered, yet tangible timeline of everything she’s endured since the world fell apart. 

Lena brushes her lips against each one upon introduction, attending to these long since healed wounds like Kara was still hurting. 

Later on, when Alex accidentally walks in on them, she very loudly wonders why on earth couldn’t they just be having sex like normal people, goddammit.

Alex reiterates her very pointed question again when she’s getting ready for the next scavenging trip. “Please do it sooner rather than later. Preferably when I’m still out there, safe from catching you guys in the middle of whatever it is that passes for sex for the two of you.” 

“Shut up,” Kara mutters. “You can’t order us to do it.” 

“Sure I can,” Alex says easily, but she adjusts her tone at the pout her sister directs at her. “Look, I’m just saying. When she’s gone, you might end up regretting it. Who knows how long it’ll be before someone else you take liking to comes along?” 

“Never. I’m never going to like anyone ever again.” 

“Jesus.” Alex ruffles Kara’s hair affectionately until she flashes her teeth in a begrudging smile. 

“Oh, hang on,” Alex says, once she gets to the front gate. “I think I left some spare rounds under my bed. Can you go get it?” 

Kara rolls her eyes. “Why can’t you just go get it?” 

“Because with my luck, your girlfriend’s probably already there half-naked or something.” 

Kara ignores the flip her stomach gives at the very thought that Lena could be her girlfriend, let alone a half-naked one. “Because I’m faster, huh?” she says all cheeky instead, and Alex swats her over the head for it. 

When Kara shoulders her way into the room, she doesn’t expect to see Lena, but her presence in and of itself isn’t surprising. No, what’s surprising is the fact that Lena’s not wearing her flannel, and she normally wears that thing all day, every day, even with all that wear and tear, even under the scorching sun, even to sleep. 

But right now, the flannel’s off, and Lena’s wearing naught but a snug tank-top and the most terrified expression. 

It takes a beat for Kara to notice—so distracted by the sight of all this newfound skin now at her disposal—but Lena’s holding something in her hand. 

“Kara,” Lena starts, voice trembling. “I can explain.” 

But before Kara could ask for clarification, she sees it. A jagged oval of tiny divots on the outside of Lena’s bicep. It’s an angry red, swollen, and unmistakeable.

Kara feels the floor drop out underneath her, and her stomach plummets right after it. 

“That—that’s a bite. You’ve been bitten,” Kara’s shouting, oh god, when did she start shouting? “You were bitten, Lena! When were you bitten? When did you—god, when were you going to tell me, when—”

Lena quickly sticks herself with the item in hand—a syringe filled with some bright blue fluid—depressing the plunger right into the bite. Within seconds, the redness and swelling die down, but the bite—ugly and prominent even on pale skin—remains. 

Kara’s throat hurts, from the shouting, from the hopelessness lodged in the very center of it all. She’s inexplicably crying already. 

“I was bitten eight months ago,” Lena explains swiftly, quietly, as she throws her wretched flannel back on, disappearing the bite that’s already been branded in the forefront of Kara’s mind. “It’s... manageable. I can keep it at bay. It’s just a monthly injection. I’m fine.” 

“It’s not a cure,” Kara says in a croak. 

“No.” 

“Monthly... injection?” Kara swipes at her eyes with a clenched fist. “How long do you have left?” 

Lena hesitates, her lips pursed. “I’m... running out.” 

“How. Long?” 

“Four months,” Lena says, and Kara feels hitherto unregistered parts of her heart crumple and die. “I have to leave, Kara.” 

Kara wants to protest—it’s still her natural inclination despite everything—but before she can even open her mouth to do what she does best, Alex steps into the room behind her. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” 

[brooklyn-times]

Five Stages

PAIRING: BUCKY BARNES X READER

SUMMARY: The five different stages of their relationship.

WARNING: soft bucky, mention of sex (no graphic description though), angsty, and I don’t know, is Bucky Barnes a warning?

word count: 2721

A/N: Happy reading. My first ever fanfic. A one-shot, BUT STILL. I hope you enjoy it!!

i.

“I don’t trust you.”

You look up from the tab in your hand which was currently showing a map and two dots on it.

You both are on the Quinjet along with Nat on a mission to track down a self-proclaimed, psychotic super-villain who believes that he is following God’s wishes by getting rid of pesty humans.

His words, not yours.

“Cool. Pass me the water bottle, will you?”

He frowns at you, pursing his lips. Predictably he leaves your room without saying anything more. And without giving your bottle.

Grumpy asshole.

You had arrived at the compound almost three months back with nothing more than a backpack filled with a pair of clothes and fifty dollars, surprising everybody when you single-handedly caused a citywide blackout. Tony Stark, bless his soul, had taken you into the group, training you and helping you to discover the full potential of your powers.

But Bucky had never truly accepted you. He had never said anything outright to your face before today, but he had always maintained a certain amount of distance from you, wary eyes following you around like a hawk trying to catch it’s prey’s weakness.

You had ignored him the entire time.

You have enough to deal with as it was without a hundred-years-old grumpy super-soldier.

Running from the warehouse, right into the heart of the forest, you feel the sudden force of the blast behind you. Thrown right into a huge tree, you feel your breath leave right out your lungs. Groaning, you try to sit up, wincing when your back hurt like a bloody bit-

“Get up, get up, get up. The fire is going to spread.” You look at Bucky with blurry eyes. He is, as usual, frowning.

Groaning, you try to get up. You really do. But then you fall right back on your butt.

Pretty clearly annoyed, Bucky turns to look at the burning forest which is exactly a hundred feet from you both.

Cursing, Bucky picks you up and runs towards the Quinjet.

Grumpy or not, you think, you begrudgingly had to admit that you owed him your life from that day on.

You didn’t like it one bit.

——————————————————–

ii.

“You are somewhat tolerable, I suppose.”

“Gasp! Really?” You say, equal parts deadpan, sarcasm and amusement.

He rolls his eyes and looks at Nat who was grinning wide at the cake in front of her.

When asked about her birthday, she had never revealed it. You had no idea whether it was because she didn’t know or because she didn’t want you all to know.

But for whatever the reason, you had made up your to celebrate her birthday.

Everybody should celebrate their birthday. It’s the golden rule of life.

So you threw one all on your own on Winter Solstice, keeping it a secret from every Avenger knowing that their tongues were looser than the screws in their brain.

And from the happiness radiating out of everybody, you were kinda glad.

“Again, how did it go from ‘I don’t trust you’ to this in two months? Not that I’m complaining,” you quickly say, looking at him from your periphery. His eyes are still on the others, a lightness in them as he watches everybody laugh.

“I know that you are the one who did this.” Your eyes widen just a little at that. You didn’t think anybody noticed that.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you say, gulping slightly. You didn’t understand why Bucky knowing you were responsible for this party was mildly alarming.

“Please,” he snorts and turns to look at you. You do the same. You now have a full view of those jaws you always admired from a distance. “Disappearing for hours at off times, lying about where you have been, forgetting the sweet shop card on the table. Do you want any further evidence?”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Why would you think that I was lying about where I was going?”

“Doll, your heart goes all haywire and your heartbeat just doubles all the way up when you bluff. I can hear it from ten feet across the room.”

Flushed, you grip the edge of the counter you are leaning against. You refuse to give up.

“What if I lied because I was involved in some illicit, forbidden affair with some criminal whom I found absolutely enticing?”

The smirk spreading across his face was so shocking that you almost lose your balance. He leans forward until your breaths are almost mingling. His dark hair which had escaped from the small bun at the base of his neck frames his face almost beautifully, his enchanting blue eyes holding your gaze.

For the first time, you let yourself wholeheartedly acknowledge that he is indeed a beautiful man.

“Did you lie because you were involved in some illicit, forbidden affair with some criminal whom you found absolutely enticing?”

You cannot lie to him. Not now.

You gulp.

“No.”

His smirk turns into a wide grin and he backs away, leaving you shaky all over.

“Thought so. Now come on, we have a party to enjoy.”

You stare at his retreating back and curse him for making you feel this way.

Asshole.

It is from that day forward that conversations begin to occur between the two of you.

It starts off with simple things like greeting, then asking for small things across the counter, then you are discussing the latest releases and before you know it, you find yourself next to Bucky, lying on your back, staring at the night sky, tracing constellations.

“You know, you are basically looking at the future when you look at the skies?” you say. This moment, the very second, is beautiful and the most peaceful you have ever felt in your life.

“Yeah?” His hoarse voice is a melody in your ears, him next to you, a sight to behold.

“Uh huh. The light takes millions of years to reach from the stars. So essentially, you are looking at the way the star looked all those years ago. You don’t know it’s present or it’s future.”

You don’t feel silly for rambling. Bucky is one of the only people who doesn’t make you feel silly when you rant.

“Why do you know all that?”

“I wanted to be an astrophysicist,” You admit sheepishly. You don’t look at him when you say this.

It’s quiet for a few minutes. You don’t mind this kind of silence.

“You’d have made a great astrophysicist.”

Sometimes those words are all it takes.

You squeeze his metal hand and let your hand longer in his, fingers entwined.

He doesn’t let go either.

“Sometimes I feel that way too. Like I don’t know my present or my future.”

It’s your turn now.

“We’ll figure it out together.”

In the end, that’s all Bucky wants. You next to him, forever in the present and forever in the future.

——————————————————--

iii.

“Go on a date with me.”

Bucky Barnes doesn’t ask, he demands.

Your eyes widen and you turn from the comfortable spot you have occupied on the couch. The entire home theatre is dark except for the glow from the TV which makes all the hard angles on Bucky’s face appear almost sinful.

You are oh so ready to sin.

But his words catch you off-guard.

“What?” You sputter.

He shrugs and refuses to look at you. But the clench in his jaws and the slight bobbing of his Adam’s Apple gives away that maybe, maybe, he is nervous too.

“You heard me,” he rasps out.

“Buck, people usually ask others on a date, not demand,” you manage to say without your voice cracking although, deep down, your heart flutters uncontrollably and your gut is absolutely clenching.

It’s been six months since Nat’s birthday party and you can honestly say your relationship with him has improved a whole lot if both of you watching Mission Impossible together was any testament to it. The popcorn tub shared between you two and the bowl of M&Ms almost makes it feel like it is two people on a date.

“I thought this itself was a date,” you continue softly when he says nothing.

“With a bunch of baboons right outside the door?” Buck snorts. “Doll, you have such terrible standards for a date.”

You feel a bit bold. “I thought the person mattered. Not where.”

The movie long forgotten buzzes behind like a faint background. It’s just the two of you at the moment. Nobody else.

Something shifts in Bucky’s entire demeanor and suddenly you’re scared that you have overstepped.

But the next thing you know, you feel a pair of velvet lips right against yours, stealing your breath away. You gasp loudly letting Bucky slip his tongue in.

Then it’s just heaven.

Moaning, you grip his arms and scoot over to straddle him, giving both of you more access. His flesh palm cups your face oh so tenderly while the metal one rests at the small of your back. Your own hands move from his arms to tangle in his soft hair. On instinct, you tug it hard.

The groan you receive is what sin sounds like.

Breaking away you gasp and rest your forehead against his, breathing heavily.

“Ask nicely and I might just say yes,” you say, trailing your finger down the hard lines of his face.

The smile he gives you is the sweetest.

The kiss he gives you is sweeter than the sweetest.

Every day for the next week, there is a small letter with a single lily waiting right outside your room. Each day is a different, lamest possible puns.

By the end of the week, all the letters have a special section in your memory box and each lily is added to your vase.

You have never felt as lovely.

Quite obviously, Bucky Barnes managed to score a date.

 ——————————————————

iv.

“Goodness, I love you.”

Bucky grins after saying so, playing with your hair, twisting and twirling them.

The words catch you off guard. What’s more surprising is the way he tells it. Almost like it’s just a fact. A simple statement. A universal truth.

Like he doesn’t know what those words do to you.

You’re almost afraid that it isn’t true. So you just lean up from your pillow- his thighs- and kiss him, the wind blowing around you, carrying the fresh fragrance of flowers scattered across the garden.

You love it and you hate it.

The next time he says it is a few days later, moments after he comes inside you.

Both of you are gasping for breath, moaning and sticky with sweet and other bodily fluids. His mouth leaves kisses after kisses all over your neck, turning you absolutely crazy with need.

This time, you are scared that it’s just in the heat of the moment, the post-coital hormonal bliss drawing words from him he doesn’t mean.

You are terrified of such a thing happening.

So you just kiss the scars on his shoulder and shed few tears against his neck. He doesn’t react much to it other than tightening his grip around you. Crying sometimes after a particularly intimate love-making is normal for you since sometimes your heart cannot just handle the amount of love it holds for this man.

After initial times of panicking, he has gotten used to it and just comforts with sweet, sweet words.

You never want to let go.

“You’re never gonna feel that way?”

Another month and after another mind-blowing sex, both of you are lying side-by-side. Bucky is tracing his finger lightly down your bare back making you shiver.

“What?” you mumble, turning to look at him.

He tries to appear nonchalant, but you are now a master at reading him. Too much blinking means lying, clenching of jaw is fear and nervousness, playing with hair is anxiety, tugging on them is frustration, and your favorite, glaring at you when you tease him mercilessly, acting oh so coy.

Those days turn into some of the best nights.

“Love. Do you love me?”

His eyes now hold a bit of the vulnerability you sometimes ache to see. Not because you want him to suffer, but because sometimes you wish to know whether he trusts you and loves you as much as you do.

“Of course I love you, Buck,” You say, mind-clearing immediately, your hand immediately reaching out to him. You grab the metal one for a squeeze. You are terrified of admitting it, but the hopeful and vulnerable look on his face shatters everything within you.

He squeezes back.

“You never said it back.” It’s not an accusation, merely a statement. An observation.

It breaks your heart further.

So you admit.

“I was afraid you didn’t mean it,” you say in a quiet voice. “That you weren’t sure, or you would regret or take it back later.”

In one fluid motion, he is right on top of you, his arms on either side of your face, serene blue eyes looking at you, and only you, like they had finally found that lost treasure they had been searching for forever.

“My life until you had been filled with lies and uncertainty. There were just dark days and now and future dark days. If there has ever been anything that I’m sure of with my every being, It’s you.” He gives you a small peck. “You are my everything. My love, my sun, my moon, my stars, my everything. There’s nothing before or after you. Absolutely nothing.”

You stare at him with watery eyes and let out a strangled sob and clutch him tightly, bringing all the two-hundred-something -pounds of body right on top of you. But you don’t mind the weight. It feels like an anchor rather, stopping your mind from drifting away to far places of despair and never returning.

“I love you, Buck. So much that I never know how to say them.”

His smile against your neck is an answer enough.

——————————————————

v.

“I trust you with my everything.”

It’s a particularly bad nightmare, startling him awake, scratching his throat and murderous eyes looking unfocused.

You come in rushing from your room next door at the sound of shouts which are filled with despair. When Bucky sleeps next to you, which happens for most days, he never has a nightmare. But today was your first day of the monthly cycle and you never are really comfortable sleeping next to anybody during this time.

Damn the days.

“Bucky, buck, please. Look at me. Please,” you cry out as you leap on to the bed, desperate to end this suffering for him. If there is anything that will just transfer all his pain to you, you will do so happily knowing that he’ll never suffer again.

For a startling second, the same murderous pair of blue eyes fall on you before softening and then immediately turning into that of horror.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he sobs, looking at you with fear. Not because of you, but for you. From himself.

“Buck, shhh. It’s okay. I’m okay. We’re okay.” You slowly approach him, your palms gently lifted towards his face. Immediately, he leans forward closing his eyes, rubbing his face against your palm. Wet tears hit your skin and you can feel your heart tear apart at that.

You move in closer, and massage his head, trying to calm him down as much as possible. He lets out soft sighs and groans which encourages you to continue, your fingers increasing the pressure where required.

“Go to sleep Bucky, I’ll be right here,” you urge softly.

“I can’t,” he shakes his head, beautiful eyes holding pain beyond comprehension. “Those nightmares will ruin me.”

“Not with me here. I’ll stay right next to you. Do you trust me to do that?”

“I trust you with my everything,” he quietly replies. It warms your heart and you hug him tight.

“I’ll always be next to you. Always.”

It’s a promise and Bucky recognizes that. He hugs you back and rests his forehead against your shoulder, breathing becoming normal and slowly and wonderfully, he falls asleep. Just like that.

AND THAT’S A WRAP OKAY THANK YOU.

[pebblysand]

of tyres that blow (extended author’s note of chapter v. of castles)

- - TO READ THE CHAPTER ITSELF, CLICK HERE. - -

Oh, what a month it has been. Well, a month and two days - I’m a bit late updating. I’ve had two good things happen, writing wise. 1) I got my first original short story published (!!!!) (you can read it here) and 2) I put out a little one-shot about Fleur Delacour that I’m super happy about and gave me an idea about a new series (more on that later this week, I hope. I might need help with prompts!). Regardless, this latest Irish lockdown is fucking endless and I sometimes wonder if this fic isn’t just an outlet for my feelings of lockdown-induced loneliness, apathy, but also a constant argument that I have with myself thinking: for the love of god, just pull yourself up, will you? You’re a Gryffindor, goddamn it. I certainly wish my fucked up sleeping patterns on no one, although I may or may have Mary-Sued that onto Harry, lol. (Spoiler alert: he’s scheduled to get some real sleep in next chapter. All bets are off regarding whether I will.)

This chapter was surprisingly easy to write (I basically vomited out chapters iv, v, and vi over the span of a week in December) but incredibly difficult to edit. For days, I just couldn’t concentrate, wrote and re-wrote and felt like everything was shite. Then, I realised it’d become this 19,000-words long monster so I had to cut a lot of shit out. We ended up with 15,898 words which I suppose is better? 

I do wonder: do people mind long chapters? Like, I know as fanfic reader, I personally prefer longer formats and rarely gravitate towards works that are less than 3,000 words. I love just getting buried into a story, into plots rather than single scenes. This being said, every time I write something that I deem too long (i.e. above 10k) I have these excruciating struggles where I wonder: should I cut it in half? should I leave it as is? I decided to split the last one. Then, I decided not to split this one because (you may notice this or not, I’m not sure) it’s kind of built a certain way, geared towards basically getting to the last two paragraphs. Like, when you get there, it’s a bit of an ah-ha moment, but I couldn’t get to that ah-ha moment without all the build up before it. It’s the accumulation of all of these little details that feel like they don’t matter. And as Harry says in the end, they don’t, in the grand scheme of things, but also they do. Like, everyday life doesn’t matter until you lose it. Then, it does, if that makes sense.

In terms of next update... I’ve decided to get my law licence transferred to France and the EU (it’s a long story), which means that I need to bloody, fucking study. The exams are at the end of March so my current plan is: hardcore study until the end of february. Mix study/writing in early march and hopefully get chapter vi out mid-March, then hardcore study until the end of March. Please, if you see me posting then, tell me off in the comments cause god, I really need to pass. Now, I will go have my traditional i-ve-put-a-chapter-out shot of limoncello and let you read the below :).

...spoilers for castles, chap v. under the cut -

I’ve done a lot of thinking about what this chapter is meant to be about. Obviously (I hope), every chapter has a point, in this story. Chapter 1 is about time (the way it passes and blurs when your mind’s a complete mess), chapter 2 is about hope, chapter 3 is about inevitability and the consequences of trauma, chapter 4 is about becoming an adult and growing into your own skin, etc. I think this one is about fear. How you feel it, and how you overcome it. Like, Harry takes a decision to stand up, fight, do the interview, regardless of the fact that he is scared (for his life, for that of the people he loves), and finds buried inside him a lot of the courage that he (felt) he lost, after the war. He learns to control his fear of the world by figuring out how apprehend it, through the training Giulia gives him, through learning how to kill, too. 

But, it’s also about fear in society. How the attack on Robards sets everyone on edge and how they keep going regardless. I initially wrote this chapter with the idea that it was going to be about speaking out and being brave, but obviously, fear and fighting against it is a huge part of that, too. 

Then, there’s Mia. Obviously, this fic is Harry/Ginny endgame but I do like the idea of Harry (and possibly Ginny as well) dating at least one other person, before officially tying the knot. Like, yes, Ginny is obviously coming back next chapter. She’ll probably own the second half of next chapter, if I’m honest, considering they’re obviously going to the burrow for christmas. I love Ginny, I’ve missed her and honestly, I can’t wait to bring her back. This being said, to be fair, I’ve kind of realised that this fic may actually be the first I ever write that isn’t strictly “shippy.” Like, yes, their relationship is a huge part of it (it’s a huge part of his life) and it will and was always going to be a huge part of this story but I think this fic is larger than that. It’s a result of my years-long obsession over: but what happens next? Over what “all was well” really means, in a general sense. How do they get to “nineteen years later” and beyond. But yeah, I’ve missed Ginny and I’m glad she’s on her way back to us now. 

Now, obviously. Giulia. I’m sorry. This was always going to happen. Well, almost always. I remember when I first wrote her in, she was a bit of a filler character. At the time, the thing with Mia was supposed to happen in last chapter and I actually had (have) much more backstory around her, than around Giulia. She and Harry were going to have proper conversations (will they ever, who knows?), really get to know each other. But then, Giulia came first narratively and shone through the page. I started writing her and she had this personality and life of her own and I couldn’t bring myself to curtail her. 

Now, we all know how it is: fanfics can only tolerate so many OCs. So, I had to choose between putting Mia at the forefront, or Giulia. I chose Jules. 

Then, in chapter 4, I wrote this: 

Her first lesson is to teach him how to drive the patrol car. ‘I don’t know why we use them,’ she explains, honest, and Harry vaguely wonders if he should be taking notes. ‘Reckon the Ministry saw them being used by Muggles, had to prove they could do better. They like making noise, the Ministry, don’t they? Lots of sirens and shite.’

Politely, Harry hides a chuckle behind a cough. He clearly doesn’t know yet that he doesn’t need to, that Giulia’s sarcastic sense of humour is one of the things that he’ll come to appreciate the most in this world, over the next few months. That the sound of her voice is one he’ll try to never, ever forget. That in the speech that he’ll give when he makes Head Auror, over a decade later, he’ll think of her and say: ‘Okay, let’s try to not just be sirens and shite, all right?’

This kind of tumbled out without me really thinking about it until I really looked at it and thought: fuck, why is he talking about her past tense, like that. Like “the sound of her voice is one he’ll try to never, ever forget.” Why would he forget it, though? And so, just like that, came her death sentence. For that, I apologise. It killed me too, and I cried when I wrote it in (especially when I wrote next chapter, actually, first time I ever made myself cry writing, if I’m honest) but it just needed to happen. It’s how Ginny and he get back together (I mean, obviously - is that even a spoil) because he’s grieving but she’s grown stronger and steady and she’s able to be there in a way that she wasn’t last summer. It did occur to me that god, all his mentors/father figures come to die, don’t they? But honestly, I kind of thing that his real mentor will be Robards, at the end of the day. She was just the one who allowed him to get back on his feet. 

One last note: I’ve been meaning to put this into the fic for ages but have never found the right moment to write it in. In the meantime, I’ll just say it here, because I don’t know if this has frustrated some of yous - I know it might have driven me mad. There is a logic to the Muggle/Wizard swearing/exclamations in the fic. Obviously, this is an adult fic so they swear normally, like eighteen-year-olds would in this (I decided that very early on), but also there’s “God”-s and “Merlin”-s and things like that. 

Now, I think that throughout this fic, although Harry hasn’t mentioned it yet (cause it never fucking fits anywhere) Hermione’s been having a sort of Muggle reckoning. She - in conscience - decides to start swearing/exclaiming “like a Muggle” after the war. If you notice, she only ever says “god”, never “Merlin.” Harry uses both interchangeably although he tends to use Merlin more when he thinks about wizard stuff, but God when he thinks about Muggle stuff (like when he’s with Mia). Ron only swears in “wizard” but I think he might start using Muggle expletives as well in the later chapters because of Hermione rubbing off on him. 

The fact that I even think about all that stuff is pathetic and I need to get a life. But that’s for another post, altogether. 

Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope you liked it :). 

[artsythembo]

Make Up Work - Chapter 1

Tw: Bullying, Minor violence

Nathan Rosen is tired of constantly being pushed around. He put his foot down and even got some kids suspended but now they're back! Nathan needs to fend off old enemies and without realizing it may grow closer to one than her ever thought possible.

The keyboard clacked rigorously as Nathan typed on his latest story. He knew the clock was ticking. However, he also knew this was what he loved and math class wasn't. With only five minutes left he found himself knee deep in the atmosphere and barely noticed when his timer went off. Three till, now he had to get to class. Begrudgingly he packed up his laptop and threw his bag over his shoulder. Making his way out of the library he kept his head down. Get to class and make it through the day.

As he made his way through the hallway he felt bumps and heard jeers. Insults flew at him like flies to fly paper but despite them sticking he ignored it the best he could. The last thing he needed right now was a fight and besides he knew he'd lose. It was thankfully a short walk to Miss Gallard's math class so he made it with little damage. He kept his mind on his stories as he sat in the second row, wanting to hear the lesson but not wanting to appear like a total nerd. Looking around he noticed something, or more like the lack of something. Seat five of row four was unoccupied. That's where Ryan usually sat or at least used to. Spying discretely around the room he noted Ryan was still nowhere to be seen. Thank god.

The last thing he needed was to deal with him. Ryan was one of the worst kids in the school, violent and demanding. He was always making Nathan do his homework, or at least he did before he disappeared. One day Nathan walked in dreading another day and no one demanded his lunch money. That was a month ago and it was honestly a pretty sweet month of no bullies! All his usual bullies had been suspended and then a week later Ryan went missing. He sure as hell didn't miss them! Especially Ryan, he was never anything but a jerk. The bell rang and with a whistle Miss Gallard's got the back row to chat quieter as she began class.

"Good morning students," She said less than enthusiastically, "I do hope you all studied as instructed because today is the day," She pulled out a small pile of papers. "midterms."

The students groaned as she passed out a few papers to those without laptops. There were a few boys sitting in the back who Nathan knew all too well, Jared and his gang. Those kids were real pieces of work. Nathan could feel them glaring at the back of his neck as he grabbed out his laptop. Theirs had been confiscated by the school after they were caught cyberbullying other kids, including him. He did his best to ignore them, but he knew they were planning trouble. It was because of him they got suspended. He sighed internally as they flicked papers at the back of his neck. At least Ryan is still gone.

He turned his attention to getting the test page up. Nathan was always good with tests and studied hard so he hoped things would be fine. Miss Gallard walked back to the front of the room and addressed the teens.

"Alright this will be an hour long exam, you will be timed. Quite a lot of your grade relies on this so good luck." Nathan did his best clicking through answers at an alright pace. He vaguely noticed other kids putting away their laptops and even Jared and them taking up their papers. Once finished Nathan submitted. He wasn't the last one done but certainly had taken his time. Closing the tab he opened his word processor and continued work on his story. He lost himself deep in the characters so deep in fact that he didn't notice the bell ring. Of course everyone else was in a hurry to get to lunch and he didn't have any friends in the class so no one bothered to tell him. Until Miss Gallard tapped him on the shoulder.

"Are you going to lunch?" she questioned. It was then that He noticed the time. Crap! He quickly shut his laptop and shoved it into his bag walking quickly out the room. Once he was out of sight of the teacher he began sprinting. He really didn't want to miss lunch. Running he found himself drifting back to his story. The main character Ariana Valentine, he loved her so much, was a bad-ass outlaw on the run in a futuristic society. She was living her hectic life before she met Grey Lawson, an upstanding citizen of the new world who insists she change her ways. Through some pretty cool circumstances this unlikely pair are stuck together on the run from the government trying to break down a conspiracy! Nathan felt a little like he was floating as he ran at a breakneck pace. Maybe that was why he didn't notice the person in his way until he ran into them. The wind was knocked out of him as Nathan bounced back.

"Hey! What the-!" Nathan froze as his eye opened to the sight of a white and red letterman jacket with a patch in the shape of a capital R.

Crap! He knew who was inside this jacket and rather than look up he hoped he could slip past him. He wanted to go to lunch and pretend this never happened. Unfortunately he was never that lucky. As he attempted to silently stare forward and walk around he felt the familiar tug of a fist on his shirt collar.

His eyes shut again as the wind was knocked out of him for the second time. Colliding with the wall hurt but not near as much as he was about to if he didn't choose his next words carefully. Opening his eyes he saw the angry, bruised face of none other than Ryan Hyalls staring him down. He spoke slowly as if calming a rabid animal.

"Hey Ryan, long time no see…" Ryan looked him up and down clearly in a bad mood. Oh boy.

"So I'm gone a couple weeks and you think you can start throwing attitude?" Fuck.

"No, no, no. Of course not I didn't know it was you is, um all!" He knew he was slipping he had to act fast before this turned sour.

"And? Any more excuses?" Jeez he is in a bad mood today. Nathan stays silent unsure what to say. Act fast.

"No, no, I'm sorry." Ryan seemed to calm slightly letting Nathan down. "Look I'm super sorry to have caused any trouble." Nathan spoke somewhat frantically moving slowing in a half circle around Ryan. "So I'll go and stop bothering you! I'm sure you want to get to lunch." Nathan was about to bolt when Ryan grabbed his arm.

"Not without my lunch money I'm not." He held out a hand expectantly and Nathan cursed to himself. Great… He rolled his eyes internally but did as the older teen demanded. He even added a nervous. "O-of course!" The weaker he appeared, the less threatened the bully would be or at least that's what his mother said. Nathan handed the money from his wallet into Ryan's expecting hand. As Ryan counted the money Nathan backed away slowly and turned.

"Oh no you don't!" Ryan reached out before Nathan bolted and grabbed him by the arm. His hand was big enough to completely encase the younger boys arm. Nathan turned panicked hoping he could have gotten away and for the first time since the conversation began Ryan smiled.

It wasn't a kind smile, not even close! It was a wicked kind of smile a car salesman had before ripping off an old lady. Nathan wanted to yell for help but he knew better so when Ryan began dragging him around the school halls he let it happen. "Where are we going?" He asked exasperated but Ryan refused to answer and kept smiling.

It wasn't long before they reach their destination, a janitors closet. Nathan was confused until he saw the door propped open with a book, then he was terrified. Ryan pulled him forward opening the door and shoving him in. Nathan barely kept his balance and turned in time to see the door shut.

He wasn't sure what would happened next and the air was tense. Ryan opened his bag and pulled out a folder throwing it to Nathan who barely caught It. It was green and read HISTORY across the front in bold black lettering. Nathan looked up in confusion.

"What? You know your job. Ive been gone for a month. So that means lots of make up work for me. Or more accurately for you." Ryan smiled a grin that could kill kittens and Nathan fumed. Seriously? He scares the shit out of me to make me do his homework! Nathan would've voiced these complaint but Ryan blocked the door. Knowing this could go much worse Nathan sat down and got started. There was so much and Ryan was a grade above him so Nathan had his work cut out for him. As he worked through it he did his best, even pulling out his phone to look stuff up. He knew these papers had to get a good grade, or else.

After a bit Nathan decided to try his luck. He could see other kids in the hall heading to the lunch room and knew he'd miss it entirely if he didn't try.

"You know I could get this done a lot faster if I had some food?" Nathan bit his lip hoping this would work but unfortunately Ryan turned his face sarcastically to the trapped boy.

"Oh really?" He pretend to think about it before plainly stating, "No." Nathan knew he was already pushing it but he was hungry.

"Come on, please? Something small at least?" He begged. This time Ryan ignored him. Nathan grew desperate and nearly shouted. "Aw come on man! I'm already doing your work you could at least let me eat!" Nathan quickly regretted his tone as the older boy stood up walking towards him. Nathan prepared himself for trouble and quickly back-tracked.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't mean-" He was cut off as Ryan got right up in his face and pointed to the papers on his lap with a stern look. Nathan swallowed a knot in his throat as Ryan's demeanor dared Nathan to challenge him further. He didn't and thankfully Ryan went back and sat down messing around on his phone.

Nathan sighed internally and turned back to the work. Whatever! I'll get it done and then I wouldn't have to worry about it. He sat and worked on history above his grade level for far longer than he felt he should have been. Still eventually the bell rang and Ryan stood up. Thank god I can finally leave.

Nathan got up as well stuffing all the papers he had managed to get done back in the folder. Ryan opened the door and Nathan followed him out. He tried to hand Ryan the folder but with a dissatisfied look he shoved it back into Nathans possession. Nathan was confused and a bit angry.

"I did the work." He insisted. Ryan stared him down like this was a waste of his time and shoved back the folder.

"Do the rest." Nathan hoped this wouldn't happen but clearly that didn't mean much to the universe that day.

"What?" Nathan blurted but Ryan smirked.

"I want it done by tonight." He shoved Nathan back and walked away as the dumbfounded boy fumed unable to do anything.